#that scene with elliot and alice was so painful

[taylorkellyreporting]

i hate that kat refuses to realize that she’s hurting everyone around her

[earl-grey-crow]

✨pond theories✨

[eruanna1875]

If anybody’s watched through Season 1 of “The Way Home”, and thought that Elliot went a little haywire in the last episode, this post is for you.

See, in Elliot’s last scene of the season, he broke up with Kat. But the pretense for it is basically “I’ve suddenly contracted Disney Princess Syndrome and now I’m discontent with the very good place I’m in”.

(I mean honestly, what man who’s loved a girl unrequited since he was a teenager—and who just won that girl’s heart!—throws all that away for the sake of some vague sense of self-discovery?)

It’s annoying. What’s more, it doesn’t make sense, for him or in general. It’s just done to keep up the “will-they-won’t-they” drama going on, and it does it poorly.

But… what if that’s not why he parted ways with Kat? What if there was a different reason—one much deeper and more compelling?

Well, I’m about to tell you.

(By the way, this isn’t really a theory, but more of a suggestion for an alternate version that I think would’ve worked better.)

So. Elliot.

Ever since he was a teenager, he’s known, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that he wasn’t going to end up with Kat. But, on the flip side, he’s also known, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that he and Kat were going to be alive for the next 23 years. No matter what happened, all those years they were apart, he knew neither of them could die, because Alice said they wouldn’t. It’s sort of a tragic stability—they’ll live without each other, but they’ll live.

He’s never had to be afraid of death, for himself or for her.

But all that changes when the 23 years run out.

This could explain why he kept trying to get Alice not to go—obviously, she’s going to go, because she already did, you can’t stop that. Whatever happens has already happened. But the more trips she makes, the closer she gets to her last trip. And as soon as that last trip is over, the stability is gone. All the prophecies are fulfilled. All the time he had knowing he (and Kat) were indestructible is spent, right when they finally find themselves together.

And now what? He’s spent all these years knowing the future, or at least part of it. But now, it’s a pure unknown. For all he knows, he could die tomorrow, or Kat, or Alice. (And he’s seen how quickly a happy family can be shattered—though he doesn’t realize it as much as the Landrys, it scarred him too.)

Elliot is a scientific man. To him, the future has always had a stabilizing element, even if it’s painful. Now that it’s gone, he can’t function. There’s too many variables. And he can’t live the perfect dream when he knows he could wake up any moment. Kat tries to get him to change his mind, but he doesn’t listen. He has to find something to stabilize it again.

This could drive conflict in Season 2 that makes sense—Kat, having to reach out to one of the two people who stabilized her throughout this whole thing (and the man she’s fallen in love with). Plus Alice, of course, having to be the sensible one this time around, the one calling out a friend who’s caught up in the wrong time.

This could drive plot points—Elliot’s been taking notes throughout the whole season, trying to figure out how the Pond works. Maybe he uses them now to try to find that stabilizing element, work around the variables, eliminate the unknown. Maybe he discovers new things about the Pond that are vital to the story; helpful, or dangerous.

And this could play to so many themes—the Landrys, especially Del and Kat, were afraid of facing the past, but Elliot is afraid of facing the future. He has to learn to face it the same way they learned to face the past, which is together. He has to learn to live with the variables. And he has to learn to risk in the face of the unknown.

GOSH, it could’ve been good.

[cleoenfaserum]

THE DEAD RINGERS

Dead Ringers Season 1 Review – A deliciously macabre and thoroughly enjoyable series.

25/04/2023 by Rati Pednekar (Dead Ringers Season 1 Review - A deliciously macabre and thoroughly enjoyable series (thereviewgeek.com)

LISTEN or READ or LISTEN&READ

Dead Ringers is one of those rare recent shows that, in its focus on writing, doesn’t forget that it’s also a visual spectacle. And a spectacle it is indeed, with its solid cinematography, vivid use of red, snappy editing and, of course, Rachel Weisz taking full command of any scene, twice over.

She plays both Beverly and Elliot Mantle, twin gynaecologists who use their identical looks to often swap places with each other — in the workplace and in romance. But in reality, they are as different as can be. When Beverly gets serious with a woman, Genevieve Cotar, the twins’ already twisted relationship gets even more warped.

The miniseries is primarily character driven by Beverly and Elliot, who stand out as two endlessly fascinating characters. Weisz has done an exemplary job underlying Beverly’s niceness with something strange and uneasy, infusing Elliot with a wild need to support (control) her sister. After a point, you need to remind yourself that it’s one person playing two people. Jennifer Ehle also does a fantastic job as Rebecca Parker, an apathetic millionaire with some choice opinions about protests and altruism.

The interesting thing is that the series is a gender-swapped reinterpretation of David Cronenberg’s 1988 film of the same name. The original film displays the power dynamic of men over women — the two male gynaecologists focus on ‘mutant’ women, the same women who later bear the repercussions of the twins’ downward spiral. This makes the gender swap even more significant as Alice Birch, writer and showrunner, turns the focus on pregnancy, birth and motherhood.

Birch uses complex family dynamics, provocative dialogue, and well-rounded characters to explore the subjects and dive into the nuances. The series brings up questions of body autonomy, surrogacy, class divides, and more. Conversations between people, often between the sisters themselves, are used to show two sides of an argument. Although, its worth pointing out that its portrayal of racial dynamics falls short.

While the creators have added as many people of colour as possible, it sticks out as filling up a needed quota and Genevieve is the only fully fleshed-out character. There’s a segment about the horrifying use of black women in the development of gynaecology but, again, the scene doesn’t tie into the larger story. Even though it’s beautifully made, it falls short of impact. Still, Dead Ringers does make some compelling statements and avoids being preachy. Instead, it is witty and darkly humorous, making the social commentary a delight to watch.

Another clever feature is how Birch employs childbirth to pay homage to Cronenberg’s element of body horror. From the pain of childbirth to the doctors wrestling babies out of c-sections, Birch has no hesitation in baring it all on screen — blood, gore and all. She keeps the graphic visuals to a limit though, employing them once in a while so they truly pack a punch.

The story itself is a crisply written one, divided into neat sections for each episode and supported by some brilliant directors. One specific storyline does branch off into another direction and doesn’t have the same appeal as the main story but can be forgiven in lieu of it. Sections of long, hypnotizing monologues are used now and again and they completely hook the viewer.

On the other hand, one particular dinner scene uses constant overlapping dialogues to depict a fractured family at its worse. Skillful editing contributes to the show’s style, sometimes lingering to intensify emotions and sometimes choppy to underline chaos. As a result, a few jump cuts do leave you reeling and rushing to join the dots, but this is a show about disturbed twins obsessed with each other — it’s meant to jar you a little.

[cuephrase]

i wanna put bruce in this position

(batman #610)

what? no wait sorry ignore that listen to me ramble more about hush

WALLER?! PRESIDENT LUTHOR? this happens when luthor is president?! damn. okay.

“i don’t like this” “i don’t like you” whdkdjdks bruce, i love you. he’s such a brat. the battitude is off the charts and i am here for it

also, um, bruce: literally almost fucking dies. bruce, asap: is back in the cowl. right back to work. he truly is living the American Dream. no calling out unless you’re hospitalized and have been put under fr

really enjoy the shape of the call speech bubbles, extremely appealing to me for some reason. the onomatopoeia lettering here also slaps, comics are so neat

(still batman #610)

“i believe that’s ‘i could if i would,’ in your case, sir.” YEAH. YEAH ALFRED. bruce should listen to you more.

HELP ME the usual excuse is bruce is off getting laid i can’t breathe omg :wheeze: why does this remind me of the whole “what my girl thinks i’m doing when i say i’m hanging with the boys (cheating) vs what i’m actually doing when i’m with the boys (the most non-derogatory boys will be boys shit)” thing. yk what i’m talking about? anyways. deeply entertained by brucie getting some while bruce is being broodmaster mcgee

OOOOOH ANOTHER FLASHBACK. ooooh and the color shifts from blue to purple here interestingggggg

OH OW OKAY PAIN. alfred trying to comfort the elliot’s chauffeur/butler dude. martha was reading alice in wonderland to bruce. thomas couldn’t save his dad :waaaaa:

not to be all “and why are the curtains blue”, and admittedly i have been ingesting way too much color theory of late okay, but like the shift to purple is really pinging for me and i’m probably way reading into things but like it’s a much warmer/intense tone than the previous blue and it feels like things are heating up. plus like, this is obvs a sad scene but there’s also anger in there and like sad = blue, anger = red, red + blue = purple. am i potentially geeking out over nothing? MAYBE. JUST LET ME BE WEIRD ABOUT THIS

damn they blew out a batmobile tire? shouldn’t that like not be easy?

oh yeah no it shouldn’t okay cool lmao

“oddly relieved”. bruce. bruce. c’mon man. he’s so dense about emotions i love him. makes me wannna squish his face and boop his nose

oh god batman gives me cuteness aggression i need to see a doctor

not a doctor from gotham tho that would make me Worse

bruh. the fbi are totally harshing the vibes. losers

EEEEEEEE THEYRE KISSING THEYRE KISSING LOOK AT THEM EEEHEHEHEHEHE

(batman #611. jk its #610. or is it?)

his internal monologue here is driving me CRAZY /positive. i- omg. omg. the way he is having all these thoughts and selina says so much to him but literally the only word out of bruce’s mouth was “don’t”. also like thinking about that alfred line from early with this and bruce’s fear- (and god he is always so afraid i want to scream i want to give him a hug i want to cut his bat line and watch him fall)- and i’m just like you could not be alone if you would not be alone!! but that’s so hard for him and i get it, i do get it. screams

which, yk, this is not to like act as if dick and tim and co. mean nothing to bruce and he will always be alone unless he has a romantic partner but like i can’t help but think about how bruce was an only child and his idea of his family was the bond his parents presented him with and and and idk idk. bruce does have family now, 100%. there’s just ofc a completely different vulnerability/connection/stability in a solid romantic partner than a mentee/partner/son. my thoughts here feel so half baked but oh well

i love this catwoman costume so much. i want to kiss her in the rain. i love how much it rains in gotham i don’t get nearly enough rain- NO. NO. IT WAS RAINING A COUPLE DAYS AGO AND I DIDN’T GET TO KISS MY SPOUSE IN THE RAIN NOOOOOOO. TRAGEDY.

get spouse a catwoman costume and-

re: bruce’s diary, imagine for me, if you will, all that internal monologue being written out in his neat penmanship and then a little (p.s. i kissed selina tonight) at the end of the entry bc i’m imagining and now we can imagine it together

[this-idiots-left-eye]

As the Fall Comes

This was a fic I wrote a while back for Inktober18 prompt 1: “Poisonous” about Gilbert’s internal monologue in Retrace XL: “Blindness”

*

It started small. The time when Gilbert was poisoned.

When he first stood up from the banquet table, the room spun, a little too fast, a little too far. And when almost everyone present turned to him with worried faces—(after everything that had happened, why wouldn’t they?)—he assured them he was fine, that maybe he had had a more to drink than he thought, or perhaps the gravity of all that had happened was catching up to him.

Next his head. Small, sharp pains. Like someone was knocking to get in, like a doctor was sticking a needle in different places to see where it would hurt most. Then it was everywhere that hurt most, and the knocking was on every door and window to his mind. He could do nothing but hold his head in his hands, curse, and pray whoever it was couldn’t get in, and would stop trying.

Then he was coughing, and when he pulled his hand from his mouth, crimson remained. And then he was even vomiting, and Vincent ran to his side, saying his name like he was dying—because, of course, he was. At least, on principle.

Vincent had made sure that the whole house was frantic, as if on fire, that they were calling the family doctor, using anything and everything they had to save his life.

And somewhere in the middle, he heard Elliot swear under his breath something about the Headhunter, and how one day he would kill him for what he had done to their family.

He didn’t remember much of that night, fever, and blood, and…

And after all that, after all he had put them through, after all his own wonderings Is this really it? Is this where I die? Will I never get to see Oz again? He…was fine.

Fine. Not even a scar, a cold, a leftover cough. When the morning came, and his pillows, sheets, and clothes were changed, all that was left was white, and he could breathe fine, and there was nothing to show he had almost died the night prior.

Everyone said it was a miracle, (Bernice said something about how the Abyss had saved him), that there was no other explanation, as no one (or almost no one) comes back from behind poisoned, and they should thank the angels that the Nightrays hadn’t had to lose someone else.

At the time, he believed it was the worst thing he had ever had to experience.

Until he learned there's one other thing that works the same way: thoughts can be poisonous too.

They too, started small.

It started with Vincent whispering things in his ear, (things about Alice, and Chains, and killing) and “Why won’t you kill her, Gil?” asking him questions about things Gilbert denied, but he realized quickly had always been there, somewhere, in the back of his mind. And he supposed it must have started much earlier than this. His brother’s words brought them to the forefront, started a record of them playing on repeat. He didn’t know how, or where, or when, but somewhere in the middle, the thoughts decided to change directions, decided to stop saying No, of course I won’t, I can’t. I would never kill Alice, how could Vince even suggest something like that? to Maybe he’s not completely wrong, it’s her…She’s the one destroying my master’s body…This is her fault, and the answer’s so simple, if I just got rid of her… skirting around the single word, until he was admitting it full well: If I just killed her, if I just got the chance, then my Master would be safe, he’d be okay, all I need to do is kill her, and it started sounding less horrible bit by bit. And then somewhere, somewhen, somehow, that one word started filling up his mind, until it was all he could think, the record of questions replaced with some dark chant of kill, kill, kill my Master’s enemies, kill…

Then Sablier. Sablier, where his head, his hand, ached, and where he got so very close.

That knocking in his head, growing in intensity the longer he left the door unopened.

But they had already gotten in, and now they were knocking on the inner walls.

The chance came for him to fulfill the call of this dark melody, and he was inches from action, if he just—

Instead he…saved her.

Saved her. How? Why? Why, when his thoughts bent to blood, how could his body choose to act in mercy?

It was in Sablier when he started to truly understand that this wasn’t the first time he had tasted this poison; somewhere in his cloudy past he had once thought If I just left Vincent behind, if he was gone…then I’d be fine…But when he’s gone, who will need me? The words reverberated back to him from some time he didn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t, remember, and with them, this pain in his head. His breath caught in his throat, disgust rearing in his heart. How could he ever think something like that? Why? What would bring him to—?

But he didn’t dare think, Isn’t this the same? Am I not thinking the same thing right now?

And maybe this wasn’t the first time those words came to mind about Alice either. Maybe, once upon a time, he had said them aloud. He could hear an echo of his own childish tone—

Not just Alice, someone had tried to hurt his Master, and he had to protect him. He had to. There was no other option, no other choice to make. If anyone tried to hurt his Master, he had to protect him, even if that meant killing those who stood opposed to him.

All the while, his head throbbing. Had it always been this way? Had it always been like this? He was starting to forget what it felt like to be okay.

And it just had to be in Sablier when that man showed up. When Xai came, and brushed Oz aside again. Gilbert’s legs moved before his mind commanded them.

Long ago, when he was still too young to have blood on his hands, that one word—kill—had become so strong he lifted a gun and pointed it at Oz’s father.

He would have done it too—pulled the trigger. He wanted to. His jaw set, tears in his eyes, questions he knew the answers to (but everyone else denied) burning on his tongue, hands shaking, but aim true… it would have been so simple; just one motion, a single act, pull the trigger, and all this pain would be over.

But, it wouldn’t be. Over, that is. Gilbert knew that Oz was not like himself. Oz did not have these thoughts spinning through him—Oz had not been poisoned by them. And if Oz returned to a world where his father was dead, killed by his most dedicated servant, in some twisted show of loyalty, he wouldn’t be proud, or grateful, or anything of the sort. He knew it wasn’t what Oz wanted, no matter how much he had been hurt by this man. And if Gilbert did this now, it would be like he was saying, with the voice of a bullet, Oz isn’t coming back. So he didn’t, not then. There were pathways out of the thoughts, out of the chanting. The poison subsided, went dormant in his blood.

But in Sablier, things were different. In Sablier there were memories, and they made his head pound to escape his own skull. In Sablier there were voices, and his left hand was aching and What was going on with Oz—

Was this what they meant by poisonous gas? Did Pandora, Break and Reim, know about the thoughts, the memories? About the poison in his mind?—

And in Sablier he tried to kill Alice, and in Sablier, maybe some other him, in some other time, wanted to leave his brother behind too, but couldn’t bring himself to do—(not because he cared, but because he needed to be needed, and he wouldn’t admit that he still did)—and these memories, these memories, these memories—

If only he could cough them up too. If only he could turn them to a few drops of blood staining his gloves, rather than his entire past. But they stuck in his lungs, on his tongue, and they rotted there.

The word, the gun, were the only things left, in his hand, in his heart. The only thing left to do.

If only Xai could have been just a little bit kinder, just a tiny bit more forgiving. It wasn’t hard, was it, just to show one shred of human decency?

(Gilbert might just have changed the past for Oz, then. Might have erased the moment when Oz’s own father said he wished he had never been born, might have kept him from tossing him into the Abyss. Even now, if Raven told him he could, would he still—?)

How could this man stand there with a smile on his face, like he hadn’t ripped Oz apart all those years ago? Tossed his heart to the cobblestones, then, if that wasn’t enough, cast him into the Abyss itself? Like he didn’t care, and wouldn’t even try…

Gilbert would have done it. He no longer had anything with which to fend the thoughts off. They were enveloping his mind, and maybe there was no him left, just these sickening memories, a knocking that made his head throb, and the word kill.

Every intention in him was set on the task.

And it had been Break—Why did it have to be Break?—who stopped him.

If it had been Oz, things would've been different. If it had been Oz, things would have made sense. Gilbert would have listened to every word from the very beginning, and it would have been easy to stifle the thoughts, to come to the answer, to follow Oz out of this place, out of the dark…wouldn’t it?

Oz may have yelled, or kicked him in the shin, pulled on his hair, and called him an idiot, but he still would have made an effort to care, to understand, recognize what he was doing, and why. Oz would have stayed there, and talked him down from this place, slowly, made him put down the gun, second by second, drawing the poison from his veins in the same method it came.

But he didn’t get Oz. Oz was too shaken up himself. Oz was somewhere else, just as broken and hurting and Gilbert had to protect him.

(But how can I protect him if I’m not with him?)

Instead he got Break. And Break wasn’t kind like Oz. The Mad Hatter had severed the scene in two, he stuck his staff between Gilbert’s neck at the rest of the world, a barrier between him and the man he wanted to kill, ruining his chances of following the thoughts’ call through, in one fluid motion. And Break’s words were not compassionate like Oz’s surely would have been. For the most part, they were not cruel, but Break never seemed to make the effort to care.

Gilbert’s words hadn’t been any better, they grew more monstrous by the moment—(maybe that was the blood, the vomit on his tongue)—and that’s when they finally spilled out, “I have to kill him!”

Still—

(If he had been paying more attention, perhaps he would have seen how they made Break pause…)

“Gilbert-kun. That isn’t your will talking, is it?”

And it hurt so much. His head, his hand, he couldn’t even think with this pulsing, the blood in his throat—

“Who put that into your head?”

And he had to do it, he had to—

“Then you can kill me too!”

He had no choice, he had to follow the thoughts though to the end, he was their puppet—

Wait, what?

Did he really just put his gun to Break’s head?

Sure, Break could but insufferable at times, but was that enough to kill him?

“Let me ask you just one thing. Is the one you need...really Oz Vessalius?”

And then, of course, because it was Break, after saying the thing that cut to the heart of him, he had to jab his staff into his gut to finish the job. Punish Gilbert for holding him at gunpoint, even for a second, even at Break's own command, saying he let him off easy.

Break had never intended to be kind. He never gave any thought to the impact of things like words, and “worthless emotion,” did he? He had even admitted this fact himself.

And Gilbert had turned his gun on him, maybe even thought for a second That’s right, you’re an enemy too, I have to kill you. Something dark in him knew blood needed to follow blood, something dark in him needing to fire on someone, because someone, anyone, had to pay for all this pain in his heart, in his head, and he couldn’t think straight with this ache, this poison…

But, of course, in a moment, the very notion became so silly. This was Break after all. Sure, he was annoying, rude, maybe even cruel, but killing him for it was a bit far. And wasn’t Break somehow—(he didn’t like to say it too much)—his friend?

Except, when he had tried to apologize, Break had shut him up by shoving Emily into his jaw.

The question remained in the back of Gilbert’s mind: What if he’s right? What if it isn’t Oz I need? But he pushed the question down as far as he could, didn’t want to think, to wonder for a second that maybe…

Was this another poison? These questions of Maybe it’s not Oz…Or was questioning the poison’s intentions, bit by bit, was severing it at the seams, quickly and thoroughly as possible, the antidote? Was the antidote realizing just how very silly the thought was, from the very beginning?

He found himself so far from his reason for doing this; Oz. He hadn’t for a second thought what Oz would think about his actions. That had been what had kept him from the trigger before. Not this time. Though it was the only thing that mattered, he hadn’t even thought about it. It had just been pain, and knocking, and that one recurrent note.

So maybe, just maybe, Break was right. Maybe it wasn’t Oz, maybe—

Or maybe not.

And he wasn’t ready to tell Oz any of that. Especially not when he didn’t have an answer himself yet.

But he did tell Oz the truth. The thoughts flared back up, even afterwards, and Oz had been so quick to realize they were ridiculous—and, when Gilbert thought about it, wasn’t it weird that Break had took them so seriously, when Oz had laughed?—laughed, and said “What’re you saying? You’d never be able to do that!”

“No!” Gilbert had to prove the poison was real, “I tried to kill her!”

“But you couldn’t, could you? See, now that’s the Gilbert I know!”

He said it like he knew him better than Gilbert knew himself. It was starting to seem like everyone knew him better than he knew himself.

Maybe that’s how poison works. Maybe it made sense; the others could still breathe, after all.

Still, Oz’s words…and Break’s…

It was after they got back from Sablier, after Break had collapsed, after Oz had told him how silly it was, and after they got back from Rytas’ mansion, after the Headhunter showed up again, (the same Headhunter, surely that had tried to poison him before), Gilbert decided there was one thing left he should to.

He took a deep breath, and screwed up his resolve.

“Break?”

“Mm?” Gilbert had managed to find Break alone in the kitchen, making tea, and stealing candy from a place up high where Sharon had apparently tried to hide it. Break turned, leaning against the counter. “What is it, Gilbert-kun?”

“I…um…” Gilbert fumbled his words, realizing it was a lot harder to say it aloud, especially to him, “I wanted to say…” he looked at the ground.

“Looks like a kitty’s got Gil-Gil’s tongue.” Break took a sip of tea, looking smug.

Gilbert gritted his teeth, hands clenching into fists, biting back any insults that came to his lips. “About what happened in Sablier—”

Break looked up, realizing where Gilbert was going with this.

“Oh?” Break interrupted him, grinning, “Didn’t we already make it clear you were not to apologize?” He inclined his head towards Emily.

Why did he always have to make things harder? Gilbert was just trying to show him a little kindness, and he always had to spit it back in his face.

“Well, actually I, uh, didn’t come to apologize,” he cleared his throat, “I am sorry though, for,” he felt his cheeks growing hot, “pointing my gun at you. But, um, well—”

Break laughed, picking up his tea, slipping a few candies into his pocket, walking by, “Spoiled brats like you have the luxury of—”

“Thank you.” Gilbert said, more loudly than intended.

Break paused, shock flitting into his eye. He turned back to him, brow furrowed. “Huh?”

“For what you said…in Sablier. I—”

“Oh,” Break breathed again. “Well, you seemed like you were in need of a good ass-kicking,” he brushed Gilbert’s heartfelt words off.

“But you—”

Break ruffled Gilbert’s hair in response, walking away, chuckling.

Like hell I’ll ever say something nice to him again. Gilbert glared after him.

But as the older man rounded the corner, Gilbert didn’t realize there was something genuine in that laugh.

Because Break knew what it was like. He too had once tasted this poison. He knew what it was like to have word kill infect your thoughts. And worse, he knew what it was like to have blood fill your past, to the point where you had to change your name for it to stop following you, stop calling to you. And in that moment, he was the only one who could have understood, and stopped, him.

Maybe if Gilbert was listening more closely, he may have realized there was something real beneath his laugh. But what Break certainly wouldn’t let him know was his exact thought at the time, which was very different from Gilbert’s own:

At least one of us is starting to see clearly.

[someplace-that-is-else]

“Shaking It Off...?’: Is the Magicians Surviving Post-Quentin in Season Five?

 Editor’s Note: Spoilers for the current season of The Magicians lie ahead. Read at your own risk.

 I still can’t listen to it.

 Every time I was at work, the radio loved to drop in Taylor Swift. I admit it. I love Taylor Swift. It was earned respect so I won’t knocked it. However, when I heard ‘Shake It Off,’ I changed the station. Why? Because I was reminded every time.

 The Magicians Episode 4, Season 1…Quentin Coldwater in the mind asylum. Him singing it. It was a turn left moment in a somewhat serious scene that was hilarious.

 But I was always reminded when I heard the song. Now…

 Quentin Coldwater was dead.

 In case you missed it, the fourth season of The Magicians went out with a bang. In order to save the world and his friends, Quentin Coldwater sacrificed himself. It was a heartbreaking moment and yes, there were tears at the gang’s tribute to him with a cover of ‘Take on Me.’ It was also shocking because who would have thought a show would kill off their main character, the character that viewers are brought into the show by. Even ballsier? Leaving the main character dead, confirmed immediately after the episode aired that night by way of internet interviews from the producers.

 That was the world viewers were coming into walking into Season Five.  Unlike Supergirl which I dropped in Season Four due to the on-the-nose political writing, I was curious to see how the writers would play the death of their main character.

 So how was it?

 Did Someone Order an Apocalypse?: Raising the Stakes in Season Five

 After a season where magic was rationed out, this season was different. Now there was too much magic. How much? So much that people were exploding for crying out loud.

 As a result, there were plot threads being introduced. You had Penny being made a professor at Brakebills and dealing with the presence of a signal that one of his Traveler students was hearing. You had Kady struggling with being the leader of the hedgewitches while being in the middle of a mystery involving the disappearance of a book depository. Most importantly, there was a Pig running around, encountering Julia and saying an apocalypse was coming.

 Hm…the end of everything. While the Magicians has had moments that were life and death, I do not think it has actually dealt with an apocalypse. It sounded so Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And it was during one of these moments of too much magic that the apocalypse was supposed to happen.

 And this was all in light of the fact that Quentin was only dead a month. Alice, Julia, and Elliot were the ones who were hit the hardest by his passing. Julia was Quentin’s best friend. Alice was Quentin’s girlfriend. Elliot was his woulda, coulda, shoulda. But as usual, the world as they knew it needed saving.

 And there were casualties on the way to the apocalypse. Penny lost his ability to control his Traveler abilities so much so that he could accidentally kill himself now. Dean Fogg was lost to a whole dimension in Kady’s pursuit of the book depository. In the gang’s attempt to stop the apocalypse, they succeeded. But there was a BUT.

 WRONG apocalypse.

 All that struggle. Encountering goddesses with agendas. The return of evil hedge witch Marina who was behind the depository mystery. Kady almost was killed by an assassin. Elliot and Margo got stuck in a time loop.

 It was all for the wrong apocalypse. You see the Pig was talking about a whole other apocalypse that was coming. One that appeared to be tied into another plot thread from last season involving Elliot and Margo being trapped at one point in the Narniasque land of Fillory 300 years in the future and its future ruler the Dark King.

 Oops.

 The Power of Three: Character Development in Season Five

 Magic comes from pain.

 Eliot said that to Quentin in the first season. Over the course of the seasons, that has truly held up quite well. Going into Season Five, there was still plenty of it. And that brought me to the character development for Julia, Alice, and Eliot specifically. Their pain. Their grief over Quentin’s death.

 I loved Julia’s Season Four arc. The ‘is she or isn’t she still a goddess?’ arc. She had been practically redeemed in Season Three. She had sacrificed her being on a higher plane for her friends. And where did she go from here? From here led to a new relationship with Penny, getting to get close with her best friend Quentin again, and have a chance to be a full goddess again. However, that was snatched away from her by the Monster and so was Quentin. She was human again with no magic…until her pain over Quentin’s death, bringing her magic back to the surface.

 And that miracle was what was driving Julia this season. She was determined to not have Quentin’s death be in vain. She was going to stop those apocalypses. She was so determined that it was revealing cracks in her relationship with Penny. In fact, they broke up…just in time to find out that Julia was pregnant. So would Julia keep focusing on stopping apocalypses to honor Quentin’s memory, or would she focus on herself and her future which may or may not include Penny?  Oh, the dilemma…

 And then we had Alice…

 Honestly, I haven’t liked Alice since Season 2. She was cute. She was brainy. She wore glasses. And Niffin experience, while a great plot twist for those of us who hadn’t read the books, really tainted her. And any sympathy she got for her pain was destroyed by betraying the gang by helping the Library at the end of Season Three. I enjoyed everyone giving her the business in Season Four. 

So I was saddened to see Quentin take her back. Especially with someone better hanging in the wings.  

That said…the pain that Alice felt for Quentin dying. The staying in her room. Her wearing his clothes. Her trying to resurrect him. That felt real. And for the first time, Alice felt like a person again. She felt like Alice. And as the current season has progressed, a new persona has taken over: old Alice. The last few episodes had brought back the brainy, the problem solving, and dare I say it the cute Alice from the early seasons. From the darkness, she had come back into the light.

 And finally, there was Eliot. Eliot spent the majority of Season Four possessed by an ancient Monster. A Monster who was on a mission to resurrect his even more dangerous sister. In the process of Eliot trying to find a way to contact Quentin, Margo, and the gang, it was revealed that there was a scene not revealed to the audience. Back during the Season 3, Episode 5 episode “A Day in the Life,” Quentin and Eliot were trapped in a time loop of sorts and lived a whole life together. Fell in love. Had a child together. Died. In the end, quick thinking brought them back. And it was over…right?

 Wrong.

 It turned out that Quentin and Eliot had had a talk. Proof of concept. Most people took a chance when they got into a relationship. Here they had a whole lifetime and saw they worked together. So…Quentin wanted to make it real. The debatably straight character wanted to give it a go…but Eliot pulled away. Being trapped in a Monster gave Eliot that push. The push he needed to get free and tell Quentin that he was ready to give it a go.

  So of course…Quentin died.

 And just like that…they became Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Tara and Willow. They became like The 100’s Clarke and Lexa. What did I mean? I meant that the ‘Bury Your Gays’ trope struck again. You know, the trope in literature and tv where two people of the same sex cannot be happy and if they found happiness it usually ended in tragedy. And the fact that Quentin got some form of closure with Alice in terms of their relationship while he did not with Eliot was quite the tragedy for fans.

 While I personally would have liked to see some closure for those two (called Queliot by their fans) due to the relatability of their situation (which happened more in real life than people thought), I was pleased to see that in the latest season that Eliot was definitely dealing with his unsolved feelings about Quentin. Not only did he find some closure to it, he even got to some closure with Alice as well since they had quite a bit to deal with between each other. Bonus, Eliot had been bantering with the Dark King, this season’s potential Big Bad who happened to be flirting with Eliot.

 A happy ending for our resident gay man? This is The Magicians. So…iffy. LOL!!! Especially after that reveal in Episode 9.  So time would tell how the relationship between Eliot and Sebastian the Dark King would resolve itself.

 Speaking of…

 Pieces of a Puzzle: Using Plot Threads that Work Well in Season Five

 While a lot of the seasonal plot arc had to do with the gang dealing with apocalypses, there was also the arc having to do with the Dark King who usurped Margo’s rule of Fillory. Fans got to meet him in a clever introduction during Alice’s and Eliot’s quest to give closure to Quentin. Thus, the tension between Sebastian the Dark King and Eliot began.

 In another blog I did ( https://someplace-that-is-else.tumblr.com/post/183733192088/well-fuck-how-i-fell-into-syfys-the ), I mentioned that protagonists were only as good as their antagonists. The more complex the antagonist, the better. And if the Dark King was to be the main villain this season, the writers did him right. On one hand, there was the burgeoning relationship between him and Eliot and the fact that Fillory worshipped him for his ability to push back the invading Takers. On the other hand, it was revealed HE was behind the Takers being in Fillory in the first place and was immortal to being killed. Add on to that the reveal in Episode 9:  Sebastian was one of the Chatwin siblings, brother to the Beast…

...still the best villain in this series. His goal:  to resurrect his lost love. Given the gang was dealing with the aftermath of Quentin’s death, how could they not relate? How could we? Things were more murky.

 Meanwhile, there was the mystery of the signal. As mentioned earlier, the increase in magic meant there were a lot of new traveler magicians coming into their abilities with no one to guide/teach them. Enter Penny the only Traveler alive to tell the tale. At first Penny was reluctant, but he attempted to. That was how he met Plum, one of his students who was hearing the mysterious signal. In the process of hearing the signal, Penny lost his abilities. And to add on to the mystery…Plum...

... was ALSO a Chatwin. Whom daughter…Jane, the Beast aka Martin or Sebastian…remained to be seem.

 And then there were two.

 Finally, there was the world seed. I had greatly enjoyed seeing Alice morph back into her brainy persona that I remembered from the first two seasons. At the same time, she had started a bantering friendship with another magician who was some expert in possibilities. And from some notes left around by Quentin, Alice and this student had been creating a world seed. The belief…that it could create a whole new world. Leave it to Quentin to be gone, but NOT forgotten.

 How that would come into play with Plum, the Dark King’s plans, and the Fillory apocalypse was too early to know. It was recently announced by the SyFy Channel that they had cancelled The Magicians. Insert eyeroll here given my colorful history with SyFy. However, the producers of The Magicians have always mentioned that they wanted to adapted the last book in the series The Magicians’s Land for one of their seasons. And all signs of what I knew to happen in the book revealed this current season was loosely based on that book (in the book Quentin was still alive for example). So it would be interesting to see how it all ended for everyone.

 With a bang…or a whimper?

  #themagicians #syfychannel #syfy #whoorderedanapocalypse #buffythevampireslayer #buffyreference #glory #seasonfive #taylorswift #quentincoldwater #shakeitoff #aha #takeonme #apocalypse #supergirl #raisingthestakes #plotthreads #characterdevelopment #grief #queliot #writing #narnia #darkking #magic #buryyourgays #powerofthree #puzzlepieces #signal #seed #withabang #withawhimper

[eshalott]

I just finished season 4 of "The Magicians" and I must say I really loved it. Quentin's death scene is just perfect, you can recognise in his eyes the moment when he understand that his apparently insignificant Discipline actually allows him to fulfill his true destiny, even if it means to die, and he does it without any esitation. And the epic "take her away" anticipated by Penny 40, Alice screaming and crying while she watches Quentin killed by his own magic... Poetic, dramatic, painful. But my favourite part is that he didn't defeat only the Monsters and Emmet but also the worst part of himself, he was able to find his place in the world, people to care about, to fight for, and reasons to be happy, at the very end he won over his own depression and he can find peace in Heaven. I know this is not a canonic happy ending but there are no happy endings in real life.

This finale is full of sadness but there is also so much hope: Magic is back (for real this time), Elliot is safe, Julia has her magic back, she and Penny 29 are in love, and so are Josh and Margot. Quentin, Margot, Elliot and Alice have made their own personal quest to understand themselves, to accept their worst flaws, to heal their scars and now they're ready to start something new, something great.

I think this would be a great end for the serie, and I'm kind of tempted to not watch season 5 and to just pretend that this is it: Alice will prove that she can do good great things with magic by reforming the Order, Margot and Elliot are ready to save Fillory (again), Julia after all the traumatising experiences has found some peace.

Yes, it's a bittersweet finale but again: there aren't happy endings in real life, and as Penny remembered us, in the very end they'll all be safe, together and happy in the Afterlife.

[aion-rsa]

Best Thanksgiving Movies to Watch This Holiday Season

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This year marks a unique Thanksgiving, to be sure. With the pandemic carrying on, families and loved ones across the United States are testing out new ways to celebrate a national holiday that might be best described as food, football, and then, of course, more food. For some that means outdoor gatherings are the order of the day; for others it will mean the first time you might be cutting turkey while wearing a mask.

However you might wish to celebrate the holiday though, gathering with loved ones around a movie never goes out of style. For that reason, we’ve gathered the best Thanksgiving movies to choose from. Some of these films are truly beloved holiday classics, and others might be less obviously about Thanksgiving, even as they wear their affection for the holiday on their sleeves. And yet others still will offer the rare respite: a streak of cynicism for those who think Thanksgiving is for the birds. So pass the potatoes and enjoy a helping of good cinematic cheer below.

Addams Family Values (1991)

Addams Family Values might seem an unusual choice, but then everything about this one is unusual, right down to it being the rare comedy sequel that is superior to its predecessor. That success is in no small part due to the filmmakers realizing Christina Ricci, who made her big break playing the morbid Wednesday Addams, was devastating in her deadpan delivery.

Read more

Movies

How 1991’s The Addams Family Nearly Got Derailed

By Simon Brew

Movies

The Addams Family and Their Spooky New Jersey Origins

By Aaron Sagers

Thus Wednesday gets half the film to herself in this one, and we’re thankful for it. With Addams Family Values, she’s forced to endure the dreariness of summer camp and its middle class morality, right down to them holding a Thanksgiving pageant in July. Surrounded by smiling rich white kids who cast Wednesday as Pocahontas (who, it should be said, was not in New England or at the first Thanksgiving), Wednesday takes the opportunity to keep it real about Thanksgiving.

“My people will have pain and degradation,” Wednesday hisses in her last minute rewrite. “Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They say do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller. And for all these reasons I’ve decided to scalp you.”

The chaos that ensues is delightful. Happy Thanksgiving, folks!

Alice’s Restaurant

Alice’s Restaurant is an inadvertent Thanksgiving comedy directed by Arthur Penn, who re-envisioned Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow as counterculture antiheroes in his 1967 gangster classic, Bonnie and Clyde. Penn did the same with Arlo Guthrie, the son of folk hero Woody Guthrie, the committed anti-fascist who wrote “This Land is Our Land.” The film is based on Arlo Guthrie’s 1967 folk song “Alice’s Restaurant Massacree,” which was about Alice and a restaurant. The restaurant wasn’t called “Alice’s Restaurant.”

That’s just the name of the song, which is very talky, like the movie, which is also pretty violent and fairly drug-fueled. The film doesn’t start on Thanksgiving, but at an army recruitment center, where Arlo, playing himself, is trying to avoid the draft. Turns out he’s got no good reason to stay out of the war.

The Thanksgiving setting, however, gives the film its purpose, and main reason to be thankful. The main plot involves getting rid of some trash after a holiday dinner. Arlo and his friends load a couple months’ worth of garbage into their red VW microbus, along with “shovels, and rakes, and other implements of destruction,” and head to the city dump, which is closed for Thanksgiving. They’d never heard of a dump closed on Thanksgiving before, so with tears their eyes, they drive off to find another place to put the garbage.

It takes Arlo 18 minutes and 21 seconds to tell the plot in the song, in intermittent three-part harmony, but the gist is: he gets arrested for littering, and his criminal record keeps him out of the draft. With it, Penn turns Guthrie into one of the most mild-mannered antiheroes in counterculture cinema. He’s not moral enough to join the army, burn women, kids, houses, and villages because he’s a litterbug.

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving

Perhaps not quite as iconic as the legendary A Charlie Brown Christmas or It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, the third Peanuts holiday special (and 10th Peanuts animated special overall) is still just as charming, wholesome, and satisfying as its predecessors. Once again written by Peanuts creator Charles M. Schulz and directed by Bill Melendez, the show has been a November staple on TV for decades since first airing in 1973.

This time out, Charlie Brown (voiced by Todd Barbee) and his sister Sally (Hilary Momberger) are getting ready to go to their grandmother’s house for Thanksgiving when one by one, all their friends invite themselves over to his house—despite the fact that Charlie Brown can only make “cold cereal and maybe toast.” It all gets sorted out in the end, and it’s all the little jokes, the delightful voices, and the unforgettable music by Vince Guaraldi that makes this a perennial favorite.

The Fantastic Mr. Fox

There isn’t so much as a mention of Thanksgiving in Wes Anderson’s stop motion masterpiece. Yet, somehow, it’s impossible to watch The Fantastic Mr. Fox and not have late autumn brought to mind. Is it the carefully chosen fall color palette that’s all sunsets and foliage? Is it the warm familial vibe of the Foxes and their neighbors that makes you miss big get-togethers? Is it the impeccably dressed cast of animal characters, all resplendent in corduroy, flannel, and tweed, quietly shaming you with their perfect sartorial choices? Or perhaps it’s simply their ravenous eating habits that puts you in the right frame of mind. 

With little resemblance to the Roald Dahl book it’s based on, The Fantastic Mr. Fox is instead one of the most perfect encapsulations of Anderson’s eye for (some might say obsession with) the little details. And it’s those little details, even more than its fuzzy animal characters, that make this perhaps the coziest of the director’s efforts. Alternately exuberant and melancholy (just like the holiday itself), and with numerous scenes of beautifully plated gluttonous excess, it’s remarkable that this movie hasn’t already been adopted as an unofficial icon of the season. Let’s start that campaign right here, shall we? 

Hannah and Her Sisters

The movie that won Michael Caine and Dianne Wiest Oscars, Hannah and Her Sisters is a story about family framed between two Thanksgivings and the year that connects them. With a meticulous insight about the highs and anxieties of upper-middle class life among Manhattan intellectuals, the film is really the travails of Hannah (Mia Farrow) and her sisters Holly (Dianne Wiest) and Lee (Barbara Hershey). There’s also the lust of Hannah’s husband Elliot (Caine), who pursues an affair with Lee, but the film is mostly told from the vantage of three women of varying ages struggling with how they see themselves and their lives in a year of New York living.

Writer-director Woody Allen is here too as a hanger-on in this family, who’s struggling with his own fears of death, but his and Elliot’s roles are ultimately as outside observers who arrive every Thanksgiving to watch the sisters and their parents renew their family ties… and close ranks.

Home for the Holidays

One that feels particularly timely as 2020 adults hole up in their childhood homes for Thanksgiving and beyond, director Jodie Foster’s underrated family gathering comedy wallows in the downsides of going home. The film stars Holly Hunter as a woman who’s lost her job and is growing apart from her teenage daughter (Claire Danes). But all of that pales in comparison to spending Thanksgiving with her parents (Anne Bancroft and Charles Durning), plus younger brother Robert Downey Jr.

Read more

TV

The Best Thanksgiving TV Episodes

By Alec Bojalad

Movies

The Long History of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Thanksgiving

By Gavin Jasper

It’s a familiar setup, but Thanksgiving is a time of being with those you’re familiar with, whether you like it or not. Plus, as a comedy it also has the still vital message of counting your blessings.

The Ice Storm

Based on Rick Moody’s acclaimed 1994 novel, director Ang Lee’s (Brokeback Mountain) masterful adaptation is a scathing portrait of upper middle class suburban life in the early 1970s, when all the experimentation in the world with drugs, alcohol, and sex couldn’t quite stop anyone from feeling like their lives and society were unmoored.

Like other dramas that take place around Thanksgiving, there’s very little to actually be thankful for: the characters (played with flair by Sigourney Weaver, Kevin Kline, Joan Allen, Tobey Maguire, and others) are all trapped in emotional black holes of their own making.

Similarly, all the decadence and crazy fashions/trends of that surreal decade can’t replace the feeling that something has gone dreadfully wrong. Lee–before he became obsessed with the latest camera technology–charts this all with patience, empathy, and precision.

Knives Out

Okay, so Rian Johnson’s brilliant little whodunit isn’t actually set on Thanksgiving, but it sure feels like it is and was released around the holiday on Nov. 27, 2019 (God, that feels like a century ago). So… close enough. And while the family gathering at the center of the story is for a patriarch’s birthday, it certainly resembles the kind of large family assembly many hold at Thanksgiving, right down to feeling like it could end in murder.

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Movies

Knives Out and the Villainy of Privilege

By Kayti Burt

Movies

Knives Out: When Murder Makes You a Better Person

By Natalie Zutter

The murder in question, of course, is that of mystery novelist Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer), and it’s up to gentleman detective Benoit Blanc (Daniel Craig) to figure out which of his many bickering, backbiting, scheming descendants might have had a hand in it. Perhaps Harlan’s nurse Marta (Ana de Armas) can help since the clan insists “she’s like part of the family.”

All that’s really missing is the turkey. The knives are out, in abundance.

The Last Waltz

Perhaps no title card in cinematic history deserves to be heeded more than the one which opens The Last Waltz: “This film should be played loud.”

Not just the greatest concert film ever made. Not only the greatest rock documentary of all time. The Last Waltz may lay claim to being the only movie of any stature literally filmed on Thanksgiving. Martin Scorsese shot The Band’s farewell concert on Thanksgiving Day, 1976, where the audience of 5,000 was served a literal Thanksgiving dinner in addition to an unforgettable night of music by some of the most legendary performers of the 20th century.

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Culture

The Last Waltz: Martin Scorsese’s Ultimate Rock n’ Roll Movie

By Tony Sokol

Culture

New Deep Purple Album Whoosh! Coming in June

By Tony Sokol

But this is no mere concert film. Being treated to a document of such legendary musicians at the height of their powers would make this important enough, but when it’s shot, lit, and edited by Scorsese, and with The Band joined by towering guest stars like Muddy Waters, Eric Clapton, Neil Young, Bob Dylan, and many more, The Last Waltz becomes one of the most powerful musical statements ever committed to film. Scorsese breaks up the performances with members of The Band reflecting on their career, and even in these quieter moments, The Last Waltz radiates the power and danger of a life lived on the road, in seedy dives, and storied ballrooms.

When you’ve had your fill of football and family for the night, pour yourself a glass of something good and do exactly as that opening title card says.

Miracle on 34th Street

Yes, yes, technically speaking Miracle on 34th Street is a Christmas movie. But it is definitely worth noting that the film actually spends more screen time on the actual Thanksgiving holiday than Christmas Day. Indeed, the picture opens with the now legendary Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. In the ultimate stroke of product placement, Macy’s New York City shindig got nationwide attention on the big screen, even as the movie focuses on the department store hiring the wrong Santa Claus for its festivities.

Arriving drunk and disgraceful to Macy’s preparations, an inebriated mall Santa creates an opportunity for a man who calls himself Kris Kringle (Edmund Gwenn) to step in. Kris is passing through, presumably doing some holiday shopping ahead of his own big day in December. But upon seeing his personage so besmirched, he demands to take Santa’s reins and in the process saves Thanksgiving. We also see how this affects the turkey time of the film’s central mother and daughter team, played by Maureen O’Hara and Natalie Wood.

Mistress America

Sometimes Thanksgiving can be quiet and intimate… and desperately needed. That’s the case of the end to Noah Baumbach’s effervescent Mistress America. A mostly successful attempt at emulating 1930s screwball comedy for literary millennials, Mistress America is a clever throwback set during autumn in New York City and, tellingly, a trip to the suburbs of Connecticut. But by movie’s end, protagonists Tracy (Lola Kirke) and Brooke (Greta Gerwig) find themselves alone and isolated in the big city on Thanksgiving. They also thus discover an excuse to reconcile after grievances drove them apart, breaking bread at a restaurant down the street. It’s downbeat, but emotionally cathartic for both the characters and film.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles

As the late John Hughes’ masterpiece, Planes, Trains and Automobiles is the quintessential “get home in time for the holiday” tale. Steve Martin is Neal, a stressed-out marketing exec who picks up an accidental travel companion in Del (John Candy), a well-meaning but oafish shower curtain ring salesman. As the two struggle to get back to Chicago in time for Thanksgiving amidst a string of misadventures and transportation issues, an eventual friendship forms, leading to a moving conclusion.

Planes was a step forward for Hughes as he began to move away from teen comedies, and the movie’s balance of humor and heart was perfectly complemented by the dynamic comedic chemistry of Martin and Candy. The latter probably had his best role ever in Del Griffith, and it’s a tribute to both actors and Hughes that each lead character can be annoying yet is never unlikable.

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Movies

Christmas Movies on Disney+ Streaming Guide

By David Crow

Movies

Christmas Movies: A Complete Holiday Streaming Guide

By Alec Bojalad

Hilarious and poignant, this mix of buddy picture and road movie is a near-perfect treat for the season—or any time.

Prisoners

We wouldn’t exactly call Prisoners ideal holiday viewing. It’s set at Thanksgiving and immediately afterwards, although there isn’t much cheer during most of the film’s harrowing 153 minutes. The movie opens with a Thanksgiving dinner involving two Pennsylvania families, a pleasant ritual that soon turns nightmarish when two little girls—one from each clan—go missing. From that point onward, the story becomes a downward psychological spiral in which the search for the girls takes a terrible toll on all caught in its wake.

The first Hollywood studio film directed by French-Canadian filmmaker Denis Villeneuve (who has since gifted us with films like Sicario, Arrival, Blade Runner 2049, and next year’s Dune), Prisoners is a brutal, emotionally complex thriller that maintains a high level of suspense and dread over its formidable running time.

Featuring excellent performances from Hugh Jackman, Jake Gyllenhaal, Terrence Howard, and others, it may not be the kind of cheery escapism we often seek out at the holidays. But it will leave you deeply thankful for the good things in your own life.

Rocky and Rocky II

“To you it’s Thanksgiving, to me it’s Thursday,” Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone) tells Adrian Pennino (Talia Shire) as they hit the streets for their first date in Rocky. That date wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for the tougher than tough love of Adrian’s brother Paulie (Burt Young). He gave them no alternative but to go out when he tossed the Thanksgiving turkey his sister slaved over all day out the side door. What followed was one of the best first date scenes in film.

It doesn’t seem like Rocky and Adrian have a lot to be thankful for. She says her daddy told her to develop her brains because she’d never get by on her looks. Rocky says he’s so dumb he couldn’t hope to be anything else but a fighter, which is halfway to being a bum.

While the scenes surrounding the ice skating rink date aren’t only some of the most romantic sequences captured on celluloid, they culminate in one of hottest. This is all before Rocky is even approached to fight the heavyweight champ of the world. The battered underdog Rocky stays on his feet until the final bell, and an almost equally bashed Apollo Creed, who barely held onto his title belt, swears he never wants a rematch.

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Culture

Could Rocky Balboa Really Have Gone the Distance?

By Tony Sokol

Movies

The Top 10 Carl Weathers Movie and TV roles

By Wil Jones

Apollo takes that rematch when he defends his title in Rocky II. The fight is set for Thanksgiving Day, and Rocky knocks the stuffing out of that turkey, and laps up the gravy. Many of the Rocky movies, including Creed, opened on Thanksgiving weekends, and are perfect “date movies.” The main bouts may focus on two fighters, but the love stories, starting with the one between Rocky and Adrian, are tenderer than the bird Paulie tossed in the alley.

Spider-Man

The original Spider-Man really is a superhero movie for all seasons. With its romantic and old-fashioned photography of New York City in the spring and autumn, the picture runs the calendar’s gamut in its storytelling of the webslinger’s first year on the job. But it also pivots on a rather eventful Thanksgiving dinner.

Read more

Movies

Why Spider-Man 2’s Train Fight is Superhero Cinema’s Greatest Action Scene

By Mark Harrison

Movies

Sam Raimi Spider-Man Trilogy Writer David Koepp Reveals Original Plans

By Joseph Baxter

Fresh off Spider-Man (Tobey Maguire) refusing to team up with the Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe), and after a blow up at a not-Macy’s Day Parade in Times Square, the pair’s alter-egos unwittingly meet up for Thanksgiving in Peter Parker’s apartment. It’s a swanky bachelor pad he shares with Harry Osborn (James Franco). But even with Aunt May (Rosemary Harris) and Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) there to give it some holiday warmth, things get frosty when Dafoe’s patriarchal Norman realizes the kid passing him the cranberries is his mortal enemy. Awkward.

And yes, nearly 20 years later this strangely does feel like a holiday movie, doesn’t it?

ThanksKilling

This film is terrible. An exploitative C-cheapie horror where a turkey possessed by a demon with a smart mouth hunts and murders coeds. But if that’s your jam… well, it exists.

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[simply-ellas-stuff]

Batwoman Episode Three Talk *Spoilers*

Are we not doing the normal Arrowverse monologue? I miss it. The diary narration is cool but... I miss the opening monologue.

Nightmare flashbacks, I wonder who the fuck Beth was living with? Who turned her into Alice? Did Alice live with a serial killer?

Who the fuck is running Wayne Enterprises besides Luke & Kate??

Hand puppets to get Batwoman's attention, childish.

Alice is blunt as fuck, Horny for Batman, did she take notes from Bo from Lost Girl.

Why does Alice have a boyfriend in the first place?

Negotiations? Innocent peoples lives for a boyfriend? Sounds weird but nice try.

Is Kate the Younger Twin?

Does Beth have split personality? Alice is the girl she became to protect herself from her hellish post-accident life but Beth is buried somewhere inside her mind??

Fucking commercials always indicate someone dying. Poor fellow.

Elliot Estates? Dumb name.

Training with your husband while thinking of your ex-girlfriend you never told him about?  Go. To. Therapy. Sophie boxing? With her husband? I guess that's healthy? I mean, if they were working on their own personal issues instead of Sophie's issues with Kate... maybe.

Commander must adore Soph to be that much of a considerate shade of Asshole. Also because Soph is too blunt for them to not be close in some way.

Why is Soph wanting to protect Mary? Its not going to get her closer to Kate.

Vesper, you beautifully voices woman!

Mary is a sweetheart, and decent at acting drunk/hungover to safe face for her clinic.

Mary is so fucking sassy to her sister's ex-girlfriend.

Why blame Commander Kane for your idea Soph?!

Kate getting defensive over the desk, aww.

Tommy Elliot is already a cunt before he showed up at that desk.

'Candy Kane' would be a cute nickname, if this guy didn't immediately give me a bad feeling.

Fuck Tommy for bringing that shit up to Kate like it doesn't already fuck her up. How the fuck does Tommy Elliot know Bruce is Batman?

Tommy Elliot wants to prove he's the most damaged, bigger ego-ed, richer, jerkwad of Gotham. And instead he goes psycho. Kate was right, Bruce's is bigger - He didn't go psycho. Even though, that comment was inappropriate but also forgivable given how she was attacking his ego not the physical aspects of Tommy vs Bruce. Metaphorical not realistical.

Wayne Tech, how the fuck is it still up and running?

I like how they reference weapons and explain them in a slightly normal way before Kate uses them later.

Pretty sure the dummy and faux blood and spray paint was Tommy Elliot, not anyone else.

Is there a Tommy Elliot Comic Counterpart that becomes a villain?

Vesper sassing Batman is fucking hilarious.

Mary checking out that guy and Soph interrupting it, cockblock.

Soph grilling Mary for information about Kate is fucked

Luke yelling while wearing the noise cancelling headset is cliche but funny. I wonder if they had to have Ruby say screaming because her accent came out too much when she said Yelling.

A gun that can penetrate the Batsuit? Why in the fuck would that exist without a fail safe?

Kate feeling the sting of being hit with a bullet while not actually being in the suit, she's already formed a relationship with the suit even though she refused to take up the mantle.

Kate sassily decides to go ask Tommy about knowing about Bruce and Batman only to be shocked about Luke telling her to put on the suit.

I still wanna know how Alice broke into the Kane house.

She messily puts in the lipstick, finds the perfume gross smelling, wears a crow uniform, Licks a cupcake and puts it back, downs a martini, reads the invite, smashes the family picture, kills a crow that knows her name with no hesitation but mocks Kate's disappointment. All of these acts seem to mean something to her, and I wonder what that is.

I still wanna know how Alice broke into the Kane house.

Why is Alice dicking around in a crows house??

Why did Alice kill him? and How did he know her name??

She messily puts in the lipstick, finds the perfume gross smelling, wears a crow uniform, Licks a cupcake and puts it back, downs a martini, reads the invite, smashes the family picture, kills a crow that knows her name with no hesitation but mocks Kate's disappointment. All of these acts seem to mean something to her, and I wonder what that is.

Kate looks hot as fuck - Hair a little less upwards, one singular dangle earring, p/leather leggings or jeggings, black over-sized suit jacket, a lacy shirt, heeled boots (that i'm pretty sure are from Hot topic? with the metal backing on the heels), Minimal dark make up, one singular shiny bracelet/watch, and her tattoos peaking out. Why did Sophie marry a man again?

The fucking shock, confusion, and pure "what the fuck" that crossed Kate's mind when she stepped into the elevator lmfao. Great acting on Ruby's part.

Mary's facial expression then Kate's "I’m sorry" makes me aww. Did anyone else think the conversation about "Go radio silent on socials" was actually code about the Clinic in a way?

Awkward fucking elevator ride, Love the broke tension Mary.

The blond is pretty. I think I have a similar, longer version of her dress. I'd definitely let Ruby Rose check me out like Kate did Reagan.

Tyler you poor unsuspecting fool.

I'd love it if Reagan is telepathic, like a meta human, and that's how she knew that stuff. Bartenders can be good but, she was a little too spot on with Kate.

I love how Kate was impressed by Reagan pouring herself a shot, like she didn't expect it.

Tyler and Kate talking makes me feel... sad for Tyler. Soph never told her husband she secretly fucked Kate Kane at the academy.

Reagan is hot, and if Kate doesn't fuck around with her - I will.

Daddy Kane and Kate Kane have similar taste in people, they both hate Tommy.

I love how Kate brings up twin intuition even though she made a deal, and her father walked a way uncomfortable because he can't bear the idea of Alice being Beth.

Kate setting her sights on Tommy, she looked hot albeit out of place.

Mary trying to convince her mom to let her have more elbow room, just so she can sneak out to her clinic.

Tommy is a fucking dickbag "took five years but I'm finally looking down on Bruce Wayne", You are competing with someone who you already won against - you have your parents, family, the weight taken off your shoulders, a fuck ton of money, and could have any girl you want. Fuck the fuck off.

Kate's "Here I thought I was his favorite cousin, not even a phone call" was so well said as to point out she knows Bruce better than Tommy thinks he does. It was subtle, sarcastic, but right on the money.

Nice lie Kate, make him find the gun even though your bullshitting. Nice, very 'Oliver Queen' of you. I'm proud, sure he would be too.

Fucking Bach. Can people pick another one of his songs, its the same fucking one in ever fucking movie and show. Pick something different, or fuck just pick a different artist all together.

Alice tormenting Commander with the instrument, the song, and just toying with the idea that she might really be his daughter makes me laugh for some reason, its oddly well thought out. She will get in his head though, eventually.

Alice bearing the disappointment and heartbreak Beth felt being left behind... heart shattering.

King of the Crows... he should become scarecrow... maybe.

Alice just casually waltzed away from the window, sifted through the box, and the likely promptly ditched the fuck outta there.

That box is all of Beth's life, and Alice still feels the pain of it.

Maybe Alice is to Beth what Frost is to Caitlin? At least she saw the search Map.

Aww poor Mary basically getting dragged away  by her guards.

Kate... you smart girl, following him right to the gun. That conversation about Tommy being less than. Tommy is psychotic in every aspect.

Tommy talked to the fucking Riddler?! The Riddler knows Bruce's identity? [If they follow the Gotham story line that kinda makes sense]

Tommy hates his mom that much? The fuck

Kate didn't expect him to have a contingency plan to draw Batman out... not smart sweets.

Kate immediately going to help the victims is why she's a good hero.

I wonder how many people actually did in that fall, we only saw a handful still moving during Kate and Mary's scenes with them.

Kate's concern for people is what makes her a hero, she even apologizes to the man she pulls attention too. Her obsession with Alice/Beth, her dedication to Bruce, her hatred towards Batman then forgiveness towards him, her affection of Sophie, all of that doesn't matter. Her heart does.

Tyler had the worst fucking timing, you are stuck in an elevator, have this martial spat in private in your home. Shut the fuck up.

Step Mom Kane doesn't seem as maternal as she acts, she also seems to be rooting for someone's death... get a divorce.

Mary and Soph would be cute friendship - if Soph wasn't in a triangle.

Luke and Kate having a heart to heart with honesty towards Bruce ever coming back.

Mary saves a life like a bawse!!

Where did they get the spray paint from? Did Luke spray it or did Kate? Where did they get a wig? Did they go shopping while this time limit is happening.

Dicking with Tommy by 'flying' around him, how "Flash/Firestorm vs Tokamak" of you. I fucking 🎶Love🎶 it.

Did she seriously Now get a voice changer? Her voice seems edited whereas with Dodgson it wasn't.

[[I keep getting Ads for The Tomorrow People, should I watch it? Is it any good??]]

Batman's side piece? Gross.

She forgot to charge the glove... cute. She's still learning.

She just stabbed him in the leg... I think they cut Luke's question of "What are you doing?" because her "Stalling" sounded like an answer not a confirmation.

She saves her Dad and Stepmom, without knowing whose in the elevator, but lets the other elevator drop... she didn't know it was empty??

She forgot to charge the glove?! LMFAO I'd do that!

Kick his ass Kate!!!!!

She saves her dad, but let the other elevator drop not knowing if there were other people in it???

He's so psychotic that he literally steps on her hand.

Alice to the rescue!!!

"and im the crazy one" I love that. She's literally insane yet the red wig is the drawn line lmfao.

Alice saving Kate makes me happy.

She took off the cowl yet has almost perfect hair... woman. really mess up you hair!! You'd probs looks hot as fuck.

Kate's appreciation of Alice saving her life only for Alice to crash the moment. Kate wants her to leave to keep her safe yet Alice is annoyed.

The red being the color of the birthstone is a nice poetic touch.

Alice ruined the moment again, jerk.

Alice touching Kate's face is probably because she hasn't seen her in so fucking long its a wonderment for her to feel her sister again when their Twins and have been connected their whole lives.

The laugh about the wig having roots, nice joke Alice.

Kate trying to talk Alice back into Beth.

So Alice wants Kate to stop thinking of her as Beth? But she was willing to prove she is actually Beth by cutting her palm? Alice really does seem like Season Four Killer Frost "Beth is gone"/"I'm not Caitlin"

Sending Tommy to Arkaham... Smart.

Reagan is cute, I love how she was worried for Kate whom she just met and Kate checked in on her. I love the bluntness between the two!! Please tell me she isn't a bad guy!

Is Soph really jealous?? She's fucking married?! Soph, don't be jealous, your married. Mary slap her for us.

Two of Hearts, Eight of Cloves, and Three of Diamonds?? What does Alice, Catherine, and those numbers/cards have in common?

Commander Kane is finally starting to believe!!! Yes! Catherine, you do not live up to the legacy of your name you dick.

Batlady? Batchick? Really?! Did Sophie call that name in? otherwise it won't stick...

I hope Soph phoned in that name, otherwise we'll end up with something stupid.

Sophie definitely knows that Kate is Batwoman.

When is the reference episode to the Arrowverse cross over going to happen? I need to know and understand the fucking timeline.

I kinda think that Alice is Beth's alter, like she had disassociative identity disorder and Alice is her protector. That's why Alice remembers being Beth but "Beth is gone" because Younger Beth is 'asleep' in their shared mind or too afraid to come out yet Alice is acting out with anger now because she had to go through the hell that she was made to protect Beth, Maybe as an alter she's resentful towards the host? Is that possible? Maybe she blames Beth but because she can't hurt her, she hurts her family via payback and revenge.

☆Side Note:: I watched this episode only twice instead of my normal three, I've been a bit busy -Which is also why this is a day later than it has been-, so excuse me if anything is wrong or they explained something in the episode☆

[kumeko]

edgar-ian

Prompt: Oz, “yes the heart is a muscle, no that doesn’t mean that with it you should carry the weight of the world”

Characters/Pairings: Oz, Gil, Alice

A/N: It’s been a long time since I had a request! This is for maddy.angst. I’m not entirely satisfied with this, but I kept you delayed long enough. I hope you enjoy!

Summary:  Maybe, just maybe, Elliot was onto something with Edgar.

…

…

…

…

“Get up!” Alice yelled as she threw open Oz’s bedroom door and barged in. She was only wearing her nighty and Oz didn’t know if he should cover his eyes with his hands or be scandalized that he wasn’t better dressed himself.

 Gil made the decision easy, chasing after her with her overcoat. “You stupid rabbit, you can’t walk around like that!”

“What do you mean?” Alice scampered to the other side of his bed and glared at Gil.  Tugging at the edge of her clothes (and Oz had to turn away now, her ankles!), she snorted. “They look exactly the same, seaweed-head.”

 “But they’re not.” Gil turned red with embarrassment.  “And don’t call me that!”

 Oz didn’t have the heart to point out that Alice was right. With his bed-hair, Gil represented a sea monster more than he did a human. “You should—OOF!”

 To be honest, they all should have expected this. Alice wasn’t a normal person. Not in the least. So if Gil thought he could corner her by chasing her to one side of the bed, he forgot to take account for the obvious escape route of ‘over the bed’. And if that meant Alice had to step on Oz, well, so be it.

 The only lucky thing about all this was that he hadn’t been injured on his chest, otherwise he’d be dying right now. As it was, he felt like he was dying, each breath coming out a wheeze.

 “You stepped on him!” Appalled, Gil dropped the coat and reached out for Oz. “Are you okay?”

 “Fine.” Oz coughed. God, his chest hurt and Alice didn’t look the least apologetic. Taking a deep breath, he tried to collect himself. “Let’s have breakfast.”

 Gil hovered him as he slipped out of bed. It was for the best—Oz’s leg still smarted from where the Baskervilles had hit it and he couldn’t walk for long without needing to sit. Without waiting to be asked, Gil hooked an arm around his waist, keeping him steady as they slowly made their toward the dining room.

 “Thanks.” Oz smiled brightly at him.

 “It’s nothing,” Gil muttered, looking pleased despite himself. He had always been a terrible liar and Oz couldn’t decide if that was something to fix or not.

 One on hand, Gil wouldn’t be so fun to tease. On the other, Gil wouldn’t be so pathetic at card games or keeping secrets. A toss up, really. The thought kept Oz’s mind occupied as they slowly traversed the long hallways in Sheryl’s mansion. Along their right, through the windows, Oz caught glimpses of a garden. From his angle, he could see the hint of an arched trellis further in, covered in roses. The kind of thing he’d read about in Holy Knight, like the place where Edgar swore his loyalty to Edwin.

 Would Elliot have liked the place? Or would he have glared at it, crossing his arms as he detailed exactly what was wrong with that scene? They were questions Oz would never know the answer to and his heart sank.

 “What’s wrong?” Alice asked, her face too close to his.

 Oz took a step back, surprised. He hadn’t realized he’d stopped walking. Gil’s arm tightened around him and Oz didn’t have to look up to know just how worried his expression was. Falling back to his default smile, he shook his head. “It’s nothing.”

 “You sure?” Gil asked quietly, gently squeezing his shoulder.

 “Yes.” Oz averted his gaze as the pair continued to stare at him, scrutinizing him. “Aren’t you hungry, Alice? For meat?”

 It was such a sure-fire question that Alice actually turned around for a moment, staring at the doorway further down the hall. However, just as quickly she turned back and shook her head, crossing her arms. “Oz. Tell me.”

 “It…it can’t be nothing,” Gil muttered softly, still observing Oz. He bit his lip. “We can help.”

 “It’s…” Oz paused as the sound of a piano filled the mansion, the notes soft and thrilling. It was not unlike the sound Elliot made, a sound far kinder than his personality indicated.

 He would never hear that piano again. Never see that arrogant smirk again. Never find out if Edgar or Edwin was the better character. Maybe, just like with his father, it would have been better not to find out about the Queen of Hearts. To have lived a lie, bloodstained as it was.

 Elliot would have been alive, at least.

 “Oz?” Gil cocked his head, concerned.

 The words wouldn’t come out of his mouth even if he wanted to. Besides, what was the point? It would just hurt Gil, if he weren’t thinking the same things. Laughing awkwardly, Oz shrugged. “You’re imagi—”

 Before he could finish the sentence, Alice bit his hand. Oz stared, not comprehending as her teeth sank into his skin. As pain shot up his arm. As Gil yanked his hand away, horror on his face. He couldn’t even voice his pain, still processing everything.

 “ALICE!” Gil snarled, releasing Oz to grab her instead, dragging her to the wall. “Do I need to get you tested for rabies, you stupid rabbit?”

 Alice struggled in his arms, trying to break out of his grip. “Oz is lying to us! He’s supposed to tell me the truth, that’s what masters are for!”

 “You…” Gil rubbed his forehead with a sigh. Relaxing his hold, he turned to Oz imploringly. “I hate to admit it, but she’s right. That’s what friends are for.”

 “Friends…” Alice repeated, her eyes shining. “Right, we’re friends!”

 They both look at him hopefully and Oz resisted the urge to step back, to turn around and flee. “I—”

 “You can tell us,” Gil urged, his expression determined. “Anything. We’ll listen.”

 “No, I…” Oz snapped his jaw shut. He sounded liked Edgar there and no matter how brave and noble he might have been, Elliot had hated the character down to the ink that had conjured up his image.

 And he had hated Oz too for being every inch like his favourite character. If Elliot could see him now, he’d punch him. The words that stuck in Oz’s throat until now spilled out, unbidden, like water overflowing from a basin. “I…I still hear Elliot’s piano.”

 Still felt Philip’s warm hand in his as they watched his father disappeared. Still saw the line of Sablier’s corpses that led up to Alice stabbing herself.

 And beyond it all, a foreboding feeling that it was his fault. That all of this was his fault. The words spilled out of him so quickly his tongue started to trip over them and somehow neither Alice nor Gil turned away. They stepped closer instead, as though to defy any fears he had.

 “Me too,” Gil whispered, his voice cracking. “I miss Elliot too.”

 Miss. Oz stared up at him with wide eyes. Yes, that was the word. Miss. He missed Elliot. “Yeah.”

 Maybe he just needed to hear it from someone else, this acknowledgement that he wasn’t alone in this feeling. That he wasn’t alone at all. He had Gil and Alice and Break and Sharon and maybe Elliot was right, Edgar should have talked it out.

 But he’d never admit it. Knowing Elliot, his ghost would smirk and Oz didn’t think he could handle that.

 Reaching out, he clasped both Alice’s and Gil’s hands. This time, his smile was honest. “Let’s eat.”

[antihero-writings]

As the Fall Comes—Pandora Hearts Fic for Inktober Prompt 1: Poisonous (Full Fic)

Fic Title: As the Fall Comes

Fic synopsis: An in-depth look into Gilbert's internal monologue in Vol 10, Retrace XL: Blindness, using the theme of Inktober 2018 Prompt 1: Poisonous.

Character Focus: Gilbert 

Fic:

It started small. The time when Gilbert was poisoned.

When he first stood up from the banquet table, the room spun, a little too fast, a little too far. And when almost everyone present turned to him with worried faces (after everything that had happened, why wouldn’t they?) he assured them he was fine, that maybe he had had a more to drink than he thought, or perhaps the gravity of all that had happened was catching up to him.

Next his head. Small, sharp pains. Like someone was knocking to get in, like a doctor was sticking a needle in different places to see where it would hurt most. Then it was everywhere that hurt most, and the knocking was on every door and window to his mind. He could do nothing but hold his head in his hands, curse, and pray whoever it was couldn’t get in, and would stop trying.

Then he was coughing, and when he pulled his hand from his mouth, crimson remained. And then he was even vomiting, and Vincent ran to his side, saying his name like he was dying—because, of course, he was. At least, on principle.

Vincent had made sure that the whole house was frantic, on fire, that they were calling the family doctor, using anything and everything they had to save his life.

And somewhere in the middle, he heard Elliot swear under his breath something about the Headhunter, and how one day he would kill him for what he had done to their family.

He didn’t remember much of that night, fever, and blood, and…

And after all that, after all he had put them through, after all his own wonderings Is this really it? Is this where I die? Will I never get to see Oz again? He…was fine.

Fine. Not even a scar, a cold, a leftover cough. When the morning came, and his pillows, sheets, and clothes were changed, all that was left was white, and he could breathe fine, and there was nothing to show he had almost died the night prior.

Everyone said it had to be a miracle, (Bernice said something about how the Abyss had saved him), that there was no other explanation, as no one (or almost no one) comes back from behind poisoned, and they should thank the heavens that the Nightrays hadn’t had to lose someone else.

At the time, he believed it was the worst thing he had ever had to experience.

Until he learned there's one other thing that works the same way: thoughts can be poisonous too.

They too, started small.

It started with Vincent whispering things in his ear, (things about Alice, and Chains, and killing) and “Why won’t you kill her, Gil?” asking him questions about things Gilbert denied, but he realized quickly had always been there, somewhere, in the back of his mind. And he supposed it must have started much earlier than this. His brother’s words brought them to the forefront, started a record of them playing on repeat. He didn’t know how, or where, or when, but somewhere in the middle, the thoughts decided to change directions, decided to stop saying No, of course I won’t, I can’t. I would never kill Alice, how could Vince even suggest something like that? to Maybe he’s not completely wrong, it’s her…She’s the one destroying my master’s body…This is her fault, and the answer’s so simple, if I just got rid of her… skirting around the single word, until he was admitting it full well: If I just killed her, if I just got the chance, then my Master would be safe, he’d be okay, all I need to do is kill her, and it started sounding less horrible bit by bit. And then somewhere, somehow, somewhen, that one word started filling up his mind, until it was all he could think, the record of questions replaced with some dark chant of kill, kill, kill my Master’s enemies, kill…

Then Sablier. Sablier, where his head, his hand, ached, and where he got so very close.

That knocking in his head, growing in intensity the longer he left the door unopened.

But they had already gotten in, and now they were knocking on the inner walls.

The chance came for him to fulfill the call of this dark melody, and he was inches from action, if he just—

Instead he…saved her.

Saved her. How? Why? Why, when his thoughts had bent to blood, how could his body chose to act in mercy?

It was in Sablier when he started to truly understand that this wasn’t the first time he had tasted this poison; somewhere in his cloudy past he had once thought If I just left Vincent behind, if he was gone…then I’d be fine…But when he’s gone, who will need me? The words reverberated back to him from some time he didn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t, remember, and with them, this pain in his head. His breath caught in his throat, disgust rearing in his heart. How could he ever think something like that? Why? What would bring him to—?

But he didn’t dare think, Isn’t this the same? Am I not thinking the same thing right now?

And maybe this wasn’t the first time those words came mind about Alice either. Maybe, once upon a time, he had said them aloud. He could hear an echo of his own childish tone—

Not just Alice, someone had tried to hurt his Master, and he had to protect him. He had to. There was no other option, no other choice to make. If anyone tried to hurt his Master, he had to protect him, even if that meant killing those who stood opposed to him.

All the while, his head throbbing. Had it always been this way? Had it always like this? He was starting to forget what it felt like to be okay.

And it just had to be in Sablier when that man showed up. When Xai came, and brushed Oz aside again. Gilbert’s legs moved before his mind had time to command them.

Long ago, when he was still too young to have blood on his hands, that one word—kill—had become so strong he lifted a gun and pointed it at Oz’s father.

He would have done it too—pulled the trigger. He wanted to. His jaw set, tears in his eyes, questions he knew the answers to (but everyone else denied) burning on his tongue, hands shaking, but aim true… it would have been so simple; just one motion, a single act, pull the trigger, and all this pain would be over.

But, it wouldn’t be. Over, that is. Gilbert knew that Oz was not like himself. Oz did not have these thoughts spinning through him—Oz had not been poisoned by them. And if Oz returned to a world where his father was dead, killed by his most dedicated servant, in some twisted show of loyalty, he wouldn’t be proud, or grateful, or anything of the sort. He knew it wasn’t what Oz wanted, no matter how much he had been hurt by this man. And if Gilbert did this now, it would be like he was saying, with the voice of a bullet, Oz isn’t coming back. So he didn’t, not then. There were pathways out of the thoughts, out of the chanting. The poison subsided, went dormant in his blood.

But in Sablier, things were different. In Sablier there were memories, and they made his head pound to escape his own skull. In Sablier there were voices, and his left hand was aching and what was going on with Oz—

Was this what they meant by poisonous gas? Did Pandora, Break and Reim, know about the thoughts, the memories? About the poison in his mind?—

And in Sablier he tried to kill Alice, and in Sablier, maybe some other him, in some other time, wanted to leave his brother behind too, but couldn’t bring himself to do, (not because he cared, but because he needed to be needed, and he wouldn’t admit that he still did) and these memories, these memories, these memories—

If only he could cough them up too. If only he could turn them to a few drops of blood staining his gloves, rather than his entire past. But they stuck in his lungs, on his tongue, and they rotted there.

The word, the gun, were the only things left, in his hand, in his heart. The only thing left to do.

If only Xai could have been just a little bit kinder, just a tiny bit more forgiving. It wasn’t hard, was it, just to show one shred of human decency?

(Gilbert might just have changed the past for Oz, then. Might have erased the moment when Oz’s own father said he wished he had never been born, might have kept him from tossing him into the Abyss. Even now, if Raven told him he could, would he still—?)

How could this man stand there with a smile on his face, like he hadn’t ripped Oz apart all those years ago? Tossed his heart to the cobblestones, then, if that wasn’t enough, cast him into the Abyss itself? Like he didn’t care, and wouldn’t even try…

Gilbert would have done it. He no longer had anything with which to fend the thoughts off. They were enveloping his mind, and maybe there was no him left, just these sickening memories, a knocking that made his head throb, and the word kill.

Everything in him had already accomplished the task, every intention set.

And it had been Break—why did it have to be Break?—who stopped him.

If it had been Oz, things would have been different. If it had been Oz, things would have made sense. Gilbert would have listened to every word from the very beginning, and it would have been easy to stifle the thoughts, to come to the answer, to follow Oz out of this place, out of the dark…wouldn’t it?

Oz may have yelled, or kicked him in the shin, pulled on his hair, and called him an idiot, but he still would have made an effort to care, to understand, recognize what he was doing, and why. Oz would have stayed there, and talked him down from this place, slowly, made him put down the gun, second by second, drawing the poison from his veins in the same method it came.

But he didn’t get Oz. Oz was too shaken up himself. Oz was somewhere else, just as broken and hurting and Gilbert had to protect him.

(But how can I protect him if I’m not with him?)

Instead he got Break. And Break wasn’t kind like Oz. The Mad Hatter had severed the scene in two, he stuck his staff between Gilbert’s neck at the rest of the world, put black and barrier between him and the man he wanted to kill, ruining his chances of following the thoughts’ call through, in one fluid motion. And Break’s words were not compassionate like Oz’s surely would have been. For the most part, they were not cruel, but Break never seemed to make the effort to care.

Gilbert’s words hadn’t been any better, they grew more monstrous by the moment—(maybe that was the blood, the vomit on his tongue)—and that’s when they finally spilled out, “I have to kill him!”

Still—

(If he had been paying more attention, perhaps he would have seen how they made Break pause…)

“Gilbert-kun. That isn’t your will talking, is it?”

And it hurt so much. His head, his hand, he couldn’t even think with this pulsing, the blood in his throat—

“Who put that into your head?”

And he had to do it, he had to—

“Then you can kill me too!”

He had no choice, he had to follow the thoughts though to the end, he was their puppet—

Wait, what?

Did he really just put his gun to Break’s head?

Sure, Break could but insufferable at times, but was that enough to kill him?

“Let me ask you just one thing. Is the one you need, really Oz Vessalius?”

And then, of course, because it was Break, after saying one thing that hit him the hardest, he had to jab his staff into his gut to finish the job, punishing Gilbert for holding him at gunpoint, even for a second, even at Break's own command, saying he let him off easy.

Break had never intended to be kind. He never gave any thought to the impact of things like words, and “worthless emotion,” did he? He had even admitted this fact himself.

And Gilbert had turned his gun on him, maybe even thought for a second That’s right, you’re an enemy too, I have to kill you. Something dark in him knew blood needed to follow blood, something dark in him needing to fire on someone, because someone, anyone, had to pay for all this pain in his heart, in his head, and he couldn’t think straight with this ache, this poison…

But, of course, in a moment, the very notion became so silly. This was Break after all. Sure, he was annoying, rude, maybe even cruel, but killing him for it was a bit far. And wasn’t Break somehow—(he didn’t like to say it too much)—his friend?

Except, when he had tried to apologize, Break had shut him up by shoving Emily into his jaw.

The question remained in the back of Gilbert’s mind: What if he’s right? What if it isn’t Oz I need? But he pushed the question down as far as he could, didn’t want to think, to wonder for a second that maybe…

Was this another poison? These questions of Maybe it’s not Oz…Or was questioning the poison’s intentions, bit by bit, was severing it at the seams, quickly and thoroughly as possible, the antidote? Was the antidote realizing just how very silly the thought was, from the very beginning?

He found himself so far from his reason for doing this; Oz. He hadn’t for a second thought what Oz would think about his actions. That had been what had kept him from the trigger before. Not this time. Though it was the only thing that mattered, he hadn’t even thought about it. It had just been pain, and knocking, and that one recurrent note.

So maybe, just maybe, Break was right. Maybe it wasn’t Oz, maybe—

Or maybe not.

And he wasn’t ready to tell Oz any of that. Especially not when he didn’t have an answer himself yet.

But he did tell Oz the truth. The thoughts flared back up, even afterwards, and Oz had been so quick to realize they were ridiculous, (and, when Gilbert thought about it, wasn’t it weird that that Break had took them so seriously, when Oz had laughed?) laughed, and said “What’re you saying? You’d never be able to do that!”

“No!” Gilbert had to prove the poison was real, “I tried to kill her!”

“But you couldn’t, could you? See, now that’s the Gilbert I know!”

He said it like he knew him better than Gilbert knew himself. It was starting to seem like everyone knew him better than he did himself.

Maybe that’s how poison works. Maybe it made sense; the others could still breathe, after all.

Still, Oz’s words…and Break’s…

It was after they got back from Sablier, after they talked to Break when he had collapsed, after Oz had told him how silly it was, and after they got back from Rytas’ mansion, after the Headhunter showed up again, (the same Headhunter, surely that had tried to poison him before), Gilbert decided there was one thing left he should to.

He took a deep breath, and screwed up his resolve.

“Break?”

“Mm?” Gilbert had managed to find Break alone in the kitchen, making tea, and stealing candy from a place up high where Sharon had apparently tried to hide it. Break turned, leaning against the counter. “What is it, Gilbert-kun?”

“I…um…” Gilbert fumbled his words, realizing it was a lot harder to say it aloud, especially to him, “I wanted to say…” he looked at the ground.

“Looks like a kitty’s got Gil-Gil’s tongue.” Break took a sip of tea, looking smug.

Gilbert gritted his teeth, hands clenching into fists, biting back any insults that came to his lips. “About what happened in Sablier—”

Break looked up, realizing where Gilbert was going with this.

“Oh?” Break interrupted him, grinning, “Didn’t we already make it clear you were not to apologize?” he inclined his head towards Emily.

Why did he always have to make things harder? Gilbert was just trying to show him a little kindness, and he always had to spit it back in his face.

“Well, actually I, uh, didn’t come to apologize,” he cleared his throat, “I am sorry though, for,” he felt his cheeks growing hot, “pointing my gun at you. But, Um, well—”

Break laughed, picking up his tea, slipping a few candies into his pocket, walking by, “Spoiled brats like you have the luxury of—”

“Thank you.” Gilbert said, more loudly than intended.

Break paused, shock flitting into his eye. He turned back to him, brow furrowed. “Huh?”

“For what you said…in Sablier. I—”

“Oh,” Break breathed again. “Well, you seemed like you were in need of a good ass-kicking,” he brushed Gilbert’s heartfelt words off.

“But you—”

Break ruffled Gilbert’s hair in response, walking away, chuckling.

Like hell I’ll ever say something nice to him again. Gilbert glared after him.

But as the older man rounded the corner, Gilbert didn’t realize there was something genuine in that laugh.

Because Break knew what it was like. He too had once tasted this poison. He knew what it was like to have word kill infect your thoughts. And worse, he knew what it was like to have blood fill your past, to the point where you had to change your name for it to stop following you, for it to stop calling to you. And in that moment, he was the only one who could have understood him, and stopped him.

Maybe if Gilbert was listening more closely, he would have realized there was something real beneath his laugh. But what Break wouldn’t let him know was his exact thought at the time, which was very different from Gilbert’s own:

At least one of us is starting to see clearly.

*****

Notes:

I feel like "poisonous thoughts" are a bit of a motif in PH, and Gilbert, especially at this point in the series, is a very good example of them. Having dealt with those sorts of thoughts before, myself, I've found that Break's line "That isn't your will talking, is it? Who put that into your head?!" is actually really comforting, and I enjoyed writing a fic that i could mention it in, and I hope i did it justice. There's so much going on at any given point in the manga, it can be hard to encapsulate the characters feelings! In all honesty I feel like, in that particular moment, Break really was the only one who would truly be able to help him, (as mentioned in the fic). I love how well Mochizuki knows her characters! Also, the time when Gil was poisoned is never really expanded upon, so it was kind of fun to contemplate what that would have been like.

P.S. This is a repost of an old fic to my new writing blog!

[nerdsworld]

The Magicians season two premiere “Knight of Crowns” opens with a very dark scene,consisting of Quentin Coldwater running through a forest in Fillory at night. The song Carrion Flowers by singer Chelsea Wolfe gives is a haunting melody that highlights the fear and desperation Quentin feels. When we last left our heroes they were pretty much dead. At least that’s what we were made to believe though part of you still wanted to believe they could come back from this.

Season One began a collision course towards the 29th battle that Quentin and the gang fought with the beast. That last battle was supposed to be the final battle.However,things went awry when Julia showed up and betrayed Quetin (and the others) by making a deal with the beast. This season so far she has become his companion. They spend time together at what looks like a kiddie restaurant reminiscent of the Discovery Zone or Chuck E.Cheese.But because Quinton and the others could not kill the beast, now everything is out of balance. The group is now in Fillory,Quinton convinces a woman whose cottage is reminiscent o the one that the witch inhabited in Hansel and Gretel. She later tells Quinton “Your in Fillory magician, be careful with strangers, they only look whimsical.” At the AOL Build Series The Magicians actress Stella Maeve (Julia Wicker) informed us that the beast is not who he “appears to be", we will see another side of the beast this season. Speaking of the beast he offers to remove the painful memories of Julius trauma from her mind. She takes him up on his offer for a minute only to beg him to give her back those memories. One can assume that she does not want to turn into “The Beast” a.k.a. Martin. Penny manages to piss off a mild-mannered individual who only wanted to help. That person sure fixed him by enchanting his reattached hands. Elliot,Margo,Alice and Clinton are all given crowns and titles with Elliot being the High King. Unlike the others he is not allowed to leave Fillory,he has to say goodbye to the rest of the gang. Season Two is off to a good start if episode one is any indication. Also, the soundtrack is pretty good. SageValentine January 31,2017

[rathertoofondofbooks]

This week has been a bit of rough week. I’ve reduced my pain meds again and it’s left me feeling really unwell at times. This is going to be par for the course on and off for the next couple of months so I just need to get on with it as best as I can.

I did cheer myself up with an online book buying splurge as I still had my birthday book vouchers so that was lovely. I shared what I got in my Stacking the Shelves post yesterday if you’d like to see that.

This week I’ve finished reading five books:

The Cutaway by Christina Kovac

This is such a good read. It’s a crime thriller but the focus is on the newsroom, and how they report a crime, the way they get information, and also how easily a reporter can become obsessed with a case. It’s not a fast-paced, twisty novel so far but it does grip you from the the opening chapter. I highly recommend this one. I’ll be writing my review of this one soon.

Not Dead Yet by Phil Collins

This is the audio book I’ve been listening to with my husband over the last month. I’m not really a Phil Collins fan but I found myself really enjoying this book. The first half was better than the second half for me. I enjoyed hearing about how his career got started, and about the people he worked with etc, and hearing what was going on behind the scenes at Live Aid was very amusing, but I didn’t like the way he was so dismissive of how his treatment of each of his wives affected them. I know we all paint ourselves in our best light but it’s hard to listen to someone have seemingly no awareness of how he made other people feel. Aside from that aspect of the book, Phil Collins shared some great stories that did make us laugh, or caused a few raised eyebrows so I would recommend this to fans of his, but be ready to grit your teeth when he talks about his various relationships with women.

Year of No Clutter by Eve Schaub

I struggled to get into this book but I’m glad I persevered. I found that as the book went on I could identify with a lot of how Eve felt about her clutter, and the reasons why she had let it build up. I’ll be reviewing this on my blog soon.

The Trophy Child by Paula Daly

I’m a big fan of Paula Daly’s novels so was very excited to read this one. It kept me engrossed all the way through but I’m still unsure how to rate it. I read an ARC so I will be reviewing it as soon as I’ve got my thoughts in order.

Little Deaths by Emma Flint

This is also a review book and I’ve had it on my TBR for a little while now but I’m annoyed with myself for being so slow to pick it up as I loved it. It grabbed me from the opening and I’m still thinking about it now, days after I finished reading. I hope to get my review finished and posted on my blog soon.

  This week I’ve blogged six times:

Sunday: Weekly Wrap-Up

Monday: Review of It’s All Absolutely Fine by Ruby Elliot

Wednesday: WWW Wednesday

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Thursday: Review of The Last Act of Hattie Hoffman by Mindy Mejia

Friday: Review of Sometimes I Lie by Alice Feeney

Saturday: Stacking the Shelves

  This is what I’m currently reading:

Six Stories by Matt Wesolowski

I’ve only read the first few pages of this novel so far but I can tell it’s going to be one that I won’t be able to put down once I pick it up again!

The Sellout by Paul Beatty

This is my current audio book and I’m really enjoying it. It’s such a clever book that really gives you a lot to think about, whilst remaining easy to read and enjoyable.

Now We Are 40 by Tiffanie Darke

This is such a good read. The first few chapters bring back memories of the 90s, with talk of pre-internet/mobile phone, the fashion, the music, the obsession we all had with The Body Shop (I loved Dewberry body spray from there!). Then the book discusses the internet boom and the impact it had on the creative industries, and on women. I’d definitely recommend this to Generation X-ers!

  Goodbye Days by Jeff Zentner

I’m enjoying this book but it’s suffering from me being in the middle of it but not really in the mood to read it. I hope to get back to it in the next few days.

A Portrait of Bowie by Brian Hiatt

This is a lovely book to dip in and out of as it’s a collaborative book featuring people who knew David Bowie, and it has some great photos in it too.

One of Us by Asne Seierstad

I’m still struggling to read serious non-fiction so I haven’t read much of this over the last week. Hopefully, if I feel a bit better this week I’ll be able to read more of it. It’s a great read, it’s just bad timing for me to be reading it right now.

  Update on my TBR… 

TBR at the start of January 2017: 1885 (see my State of the TBR post)

TBR in last week’s Wrap-Up: 1871

Additions:

Books bought/received for review/gifts: 16 

Subtractions:

Books read this week: 5

Books I’m currently reading: 6

TBR Books culled this week: 0

Total:

TBR now stands at: 1882

  I’m linking this post up to Kimberly at Caffeinated Book Reviewer’s Sunday Blog Share.  It’s a chance to share news~ A post to recap the past week on your blog and showcase books and things we have received. Share news about what is coming up on our blog for the week ahead.

  How has your week been? What have you been reading? Please share in the comments below. If you write a wrap-up on your blog please feel free to share the link. 🙂

Weekly Wrap-Up (19 March) This week has been a bit of rough week. I've reduced my pain meds again and it's left me feeling really unwell at times.