#that remus never contacted harry????
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i think—after writing saudade, my dislike for remus has become much more…clearer?
like, it’s definitely not the fact that he didn’t do anything to help sirius that bothers me. it’s pretty clear he had no power or resources to do anything about the fact, especially if even dumbledore didn’t do anything.
but the fact that he believed sirius to be at fault? or atleast, capable of betraying james? that he supposedly didn’t make any attempts to say, go see him in azkaban? that he acted exactly the same as everyone else in the WW who either didn’t know these two or only barely did? kinda terrible, tbh.
(and like, not to make it transactional or anything, but j&s did *so much* for remus; went above and beyond for him and…this is what he’s like in return? yikes)
#remus lupin#remus is like. such a shitty messed up character in shitty messed up situations#and the thing is—i can even empathise with some of his actions lmao#i too am someone w no energy or motivation to do things when it gets tough#things in motion stay in motion unless an outside force acts#except the motion is depression ykno?#but my god remus. just. a little faith could’ve gone a long way ykno?#imagine sirius escaping azkaban and knowing that there was atleast one person who always believed in him#and it’s the person who knows him best other than james#except what does he get?#betrayal betrayal betrayal#and yah i see those posts ab how remus was probably manipulated into it by dumbledore and all#but like. all of that is conjecture and depends on ur conception of him#but at the very core of it all—he didn’t believe in sirius. he thought he was capable of betraying james.#and can there really be a greater crime than that?#but also!!!!! it’s so shitty from james’ pov too!!!!#and now i’m thinking particularly of those fics where james or the potters come back#and take everyone except remus to task for their treatment of harry#and it’s one thing if it’s acknowledged and moved but most times it’s never even brought up???#that remus never contacted harry????#even after poa???#like dude. that guy messed up a lot lol#saudade was just one way for me to come to terms w it#i still don’t think i like him—particularly considering his most ppl write him#but it was still fun#pen’s notes
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The High Price of Family
chef!Sirius who has some explaining to do x mixologist!reader [1k words]
part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7
CW: fluff, one reference to having 'been inside' reader
“Red, can you tell your husband to stop being a prat?” Sirius muttered as he stalked back into the kitchen where Lily was sitting at the kitchen island “helping” Sirius cook (which translated roughly to flipping through a magazine as Sirius did all of the work but being credited for having kept him company).
“James! Stop being a prat!” She called out easily, not bothering to look up from the celebrity gossip she was reading.
“I’m not being a prat!” James called back.
“Then stop pretending to be mad at your best mate!” She conceded, and both she and Sirius shook their heads in fond exasperation as they heard James storming towards the kitchen.
He appeared in the doorway of the kitchen with his hair a mess (not unusual), his arms crossed (somewhat unusual - he did have very nice biceps that he liked to flaunt every now-and-again), and a dark scowl on his face (very unusual).
“I am not pretending.” He hissed, his stormy gaze flitting between Lily and Sirius before Regulus and Remus entered the kitchen and each took a seat at the table.
“Do you know what he has me saved as in his phone? Hm? His honorary brother and best friend with whom he has lived for much of his life? James. Fleamont. Potter.” James announced severely, emphasising each part of his name by hitting the side of his open right hand against the flattened palm of his left. “He government named me, Lils! Even Remus is at least only Remus J Lupin, but nooo, I get the full legal name.”
“I think that’s perfectly acceptable.” Regulus offered primly. “It is your name, isn’t it?”
Remus snorted a laugh before pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s head. “You two are so weird.”
“It is weird!” James shrilled.
“What do you have me saved as, Sirius?” Lily asked then; Sirius smirked.
“Lily Evans.”
A horrified sound came from the general direction of James as he stared at his best mate with a look of horror and betrayal, his arms falling uselessly to his sides.
“But we’ve been married for fifteen years!”
“And I’ve had Lily saved in my phone for seventeen.” Sirius responded simply.
“This is absurd!”
“Why are you so bent out of shape about Sirius’ contact list?” Remus asked finally as Harry walked into the kitchen; hovering over Sirius as he dodged Sirius’ half-assed attempts at keeping him from stealing “tests” of his dinner.
“Oh, dad’s miffed because he saw what Sirius has his new girlfriend saved as in his phone.”
Remus let out a hum of understanding as Regulus let out a rather inelegant snort. “What’s the future Mrs. Black saved as?” He taunted, earning him a glare from his older brother.
“Y/N martini glass emoji.” James announced dramatically.
Sirius continued cooking as Remus, Regulus, and Lily all stared at him in silence before Lily finally broke it with an “awe”.
“No! Not ‘awe’!” James shrilled.
“Oh come on, James. You’re only mad because Harry got to meet her first.” Remus placated, causing James to harrumph as he sat dejectedly beside his wife.
“S’not fair.” He grumbled at the same time Regulus asked Harry what you were like.
“Oh, she’s hot.” Harry offered quickly around a mouthful of stolen food, earning him an ‘oi!’ from his godfather.
“Don’t objectify her like that!” He defended quickly, earning him a bemused look from his godson.
“But…she is?” He asked.
Sirius blinked owlishly at Harry before turning back to his food. “Well, yes, but-”
“When do the rest of us get to meet her, then?” Regulus interrupted.
“Never.” Sirius muttered.
“And why not!?” James beseeched.
“Because you’re horribly embarrassing and dramatic!” Sirius volleyed, turning towards his best friend and gesturing at him vaguely as if to say ‘see? Case in point’.
“Well that’s not fair.” Regulus pouted at the same time Remus let out a conceding ‘yeah, that’s fair’.
“So what? You’re just going to meet the love of your life and never introduce her to your family?” Lily teased, causing Sirius to groan and let his shoulders fall.
“That had sort of been the plan, yeah.”
“Tough.” Regulus spat.
“You should host a party, Sirius; have us all over to meet her.” Remus offered.
“Fat chance.”
“What about my birthday, then?” Regulus chimed in.
Sirius turned to look at his brother sceptically. “What about your birthday?”
“Perhaps I host a party at our place.”
“Perhaps you do…” Sirius continued.
“Perhaps you bring a plus one.”
“Perhaps I don’t.”
“Perhaps,” Regulus continued, “that’s what I want for my birthday.”
Remus nodded gravely at that. “That’s actually exactly what Regulus wants for his birthday, Sirius. He’d asked me for it first but it's not exactly something I can get for him.”
“Yeah, that’s what I want for Regulus’ birthday too.” James added quickly.
“You don’t get anything for Regulus’ birthday.” Sirius sneered at him.
“Yes, well,” Regulus started - clearly quite chuffed with what he considered a victory - as he stood to join Harry in stealing food directly from Sirius’ pan, “I do hope neither of you have plans next weekend, because I’m expecting both of you there.”
Sirius sighed and stepped away from the stove as he told the gremlins to ‘have at ‘er’ before grabbing his phone from the kitchen island and opening up your messages.
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#sirius black#chef!sirius#sirius black x reader#sirius black x you#sirius being sirius#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black fic#sirius black ficlet#sirius black blurb#sirius black drabble#sirius black fluff#sirius black imagine#chef!sirius black#mixologist!reader#restaurant au#fem!reader#sirius black x fem!reader#chef!sirius black x mixologist!reader#ellecdc fics#chef!sirius fluff#chef!sirius blurb#chef!sirius ficlet
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poa!remus lupin x healer!reader one-shot ! warnings: angst ? mentions of war and death, eventual fluff word count: 4,014 masterlist
Remus Lupin was a handsome man. You had always known this, ever since fifth year when you got paired up with him in potions. It became your new favorite subject. He was not only gorgeous but bright and sharp as a whip. You could hear his sarcastic and witty comments from under his breath often, and the giggles that bubbled out of you were hard to contain. You had considered yourself decent friends, sharing more than one class with him and opting often to work together throughout your time at Hogwarts. He was even the reason you were a part of the order of the phoenix as the war broke out.
It was a dark time, the insecurity and the panic. The sheer paranoia that draped over everyone like a coat made of lead. You lost contact as the war ended. His best friends were dead, or traitors. His family was dead and as far as you knew he retreated until the only mention of him was the pictures on your walls. You hadn’t laid eyes on the man for twelve years.
But Remus Lupin was still a handsome man. Older barely, tired definitely. As Dumbledore introduced him as the new defense against the dark arts professor you couldn’t help but gawk. His shy smile was the same, a small curl of his lip as he looked sheepishly at the crowd of children. His light brown hair was longer than the last time you had seen him. He shaved it the year Harry was born, you always thought he looked quite good with the buzz. Matter of fact he had asked you to shave it for him. You’d never forget the trust he had in you at that moment, nor the feel of his head, his face in your hands.
You had started your post as a secondary healer at Hogwarts around the same time Harry Potter turned 11. Albus insisted Madame Pomfrey needed the help, and as a trusted witch and now experienced and skilled healer after many years at St Mungo’s, you were the one for the job. After much bonding with the Potter boy, as he had the terrible habit of always needing medical care along with his friends you started to tell him, stories of his mother, of his father, and your time together at school. You suspected Albus Dumbledore was playing a game of chess. Remus’s appearance was no different. Maybe he was trying to introduce the boy to his parent’s old friends. Show him the love and care his parents had fostered with others. The way James and Lily cared for their friends like family, until their last seconds.
Lily Evans had been, until the day of her death, one of your closest friends. The two of you were basically inseparable, she always said muggle-borns needed to stick together. This closeness is what made your friendship with Remus so easy. It was like two overlapping circles of friends perfectly lining up, creating one. This also made it easy to fall in love with him. Lily always encouraged it, you could still hear the smile on her face as she spoke warmly about the man, how perfect he was for you.
Lily loved Remus. You suspected this was also the reason for his absence. Everyone deals with grief differently.
Or maybe he just really had no care for you after all?
You shook the thought away as you did your nightly duties. It was nearing the end of the first week of classes and you hadn’t dared talk to Remus. You were trying to come to terms with the undeniable fact that maybe it was best that you didn’t reconnect. He could teach from his classroom on his side of the castle and you could heal children from yours. Not in a bad way, but maybe in the way two people avoid each other because of too much shared pain. Because maybe looking at each other meant acknowledging how alone you were. It’s not like he had even looked at you either. You wondered if he thought of you.
You thought of Lily as you cleaned. She’d huff at you if she heard your thoughts.
“Ah yes Ms Y/L/N,” Dumbledore walked in, Remus in tow. The soft brown, wool sweater he wore made your heart clench. He looked like he always did, he looked like the Remus you grew up with. Not the stuffier professor robes you had seen him wearing around. “I do believe you are familiar with Professor Lupin’s-”
”predicament” Remus muttered but in the silence of the night it was clear as day.
”ah yes, ever so verbose, the professor, but you are aware yes?”
Of course, you knew, you had helped him post-full moon before while you were training to be a healer. While the war felt like it would blow down your doors at any minute. you simply nodded. You resumed your task of folding the sheets, opting to do it with your hands.
You were afraid to look at him, but you knew what Dumbledore would ask.
”I trust you can make sure he’s in good shape each month then?”
You smiled softly at the headmaster, “of course sir, i’ll tend to him when needed” Dumbledore smiled and nodded as he turned, patting Remus’s shoulder as he passed and disappeared into the castle's darkness.
You could feel Remus tense up as you were left alone, you felt suffocated even in the expansiveness of the hospital wing.
“I have all the moon dates in my calendar professor,” the words felt foreign coming from your mouth but you couldn’t bring yourself to say his name. “so please don’t hesitate to tell me what arrangement you’d prefer I can go up to your room the morning after or if you feel like coming down as well”
Remus shifted on his feet as you spoke. He stared hard at the windows but he suspected you were also avoiding his gaze.
“I think I can make it up here, don’t worry I’ll probably be okay,” You hummed, shooting him a tightlipped smile as he bowed his head and left. Your eyes never met.
Remus felt like he might suffocate at any moment. His skin felt hot under his collar and he couldn’t remember if he had looked at you at all. He tried to picture your face. Had it aged at all? Had you changed? He could only think back to when you buzzed his head thirteen years ago. Your wide smile as the two of you laughed at his falling locks. It had been cathartic at the time, and he could still feel the ghost of your fingers over his face, over his head.
It was a fleeting thought, a flash of a life he had forgotten he had lived. Twelve years is an awfully long time, to not see someone.
He wondered how you had dealt with all of it. With the losses, with the absence of everyone you loved. He could feel regret worm its way into his heart. He had left you alone. You were each other's remaining friends. There was no longer anyone else, Lily and James, Marlene, and Dorcas were all dead. He presumed Mary was dead as well. Frank and Alice weren’t there anymore, not mentally.
He knew you took care of them. At St Mungo’s. He caught a glimpse of you once as you came into their room. Remus had just gone to visit, talk to them, and bring them flowers. Even if they didn’t seem to recognize him, Alice was entranced by the Lillies he brought. He felt content enough about it as he walked away, but then you walked into the room after. He knew you hadn't seen him, but he peeked in to observe you. With your nice smile and your caring gaze, you checked up on them, made sure they had been fed, ran through a small (although futile) therapeutic exercise with them, and put on a charm so the flowers wouldn’t wilt, so they make you happy for a long time Alice. Remus hated the pang of pain in his heart. He always knew you would become a good healer. He didn’t want to disrupt your life. You seemed well-adjusted. Or at least he hoped you were, but that was just the outside, and the outside doesn’t always reflect the inside.
Remus knew this especially well.
-
This arrangement between you was barely touched on. Remus had come in only once in the two months that had passed for a small scrape on his neck. It made your fingers itch in anticipation. It was like you needed to feel needed. You knew he wasn't having the best time. He looked pale and ill and you fought the urge to drop something off at his door.
"Severus I need to know if you're giving him Wolfsbane" You disliked dealing with Severus Snape. You didn't trust him. Not since the incident with Lily in fifth year. And rightfully so. Regardless of the headmaster's unwavering faith in him, you were convinced he was going to screw with Remus and his job. Whether payback for things in the past or simple jealousy.
"I don't see how that's any of your business," He sneered at you as he turned away, walking down the dark empty halls of the dungeon's hallways.
"I'm his nurse-"
"He won't even let you treat him, and if you knew what was good for you," he crossed his arms. You felt as useless as when he and Lily had started arguing in fourth year. "You'd forget about him, its pathetic-"
You knew it was pointless to speak to the man. You often pondered if he saw glimpses of Lily in you just as you saw them in him.
You huffed as the two of you walked your separate ways. You felt sixteen again. Mindlessly, you walked to the defense against the dark arts tower. It wasn't a section of the castle you found yourself in often or at all anymore, your days as a student had long passed. You focused on the stone stairs. You felt like your hands were clammy and freezing at the same time. You didn't know if you were overstepping a boundary.
Classes had finished for the day, the kids ran around the castle, some greeting you some not. You didn't mind. You knocked softly at his office door with your knuckles. You suddenly felt insecure about your red robes and white apron, it was nearly identical to Poppy Pomfrey's. She said something about yours having a younger silhouette. Whatever the hell that meant.
"Come in," Remus's voice called out through the door. You turned the door knob hesitantly. You couldn't help but stare at the artifacts and books thrown and placed about. "Ah, welcome"
"I'm sorry for the intrusion," you still didn't dare say his name, it was stuck in your throat like a bubble of water and air that forms when you drink too fast. You felt like you might choke. "I just needed to know if you were taking a certain potion-"
Remus nodded, an understanding smile playing on his lips.
"I am,"
"Okay good," you trailed off as you finally looked at him straight on. His hands had stopped their task, ink-dipped feather placed back on his desk as he also stared at you. You fiddled with your fingers behind your back. "I'm sorry, Severus wouldn't answer my question and I needed to know so as to not give you anything that might react poorly-"
"It's alright," Remus bit his lip slightly, you could tell he was bouncing his leg from under his desk.
"I'll take my leave then" you turned away from him.
"Y/N" you stopped at the door, the cold metal handle cooling your hand. "D'you want some tea?"
You couldn't say no. Not to him. So you turned back and nodded.
Remus smiled softly, seemingly relieved.
-
Your tea time with Remus had been filled with content silence. Neither of you felt the urge to speak, it was a comfortable stillness as you sat side by side looking out his window. You didn't feel the need to express anything or address the twelve years that you were absent from each other's lives.
This felt enough for now.
As the sun set you left, with a thank you and a small smile. He mirrored it. You felt like a bit of weight had been lifted and you spent the rest of the night with a small smile on your face.
The next few weeks went along about the same, healer duties with the bonus of Remus passing by the hospital wing later on and having tea silently or you seeking him out in his office. You were afraid to talk, like you'd ruin it if you did. You felt as if your desperation to erase the last twelve years of silence and solitude might consume you.
But the full moon came around again and you desperately hoped Remus would come in the morning. For you to fuss over him, to make sure he was properly fed, to give him whatever sweets he wanted. You wanted to kiss the scars on his face as you once did, to run your fingers through his hair as you reassured him that it was over, that he was okay. Even if he kept his consciousness thanks to the potion, transformations were rough on him. You hadn't been able to even close your eyes.
You heard a knock on your door. You briefly glanced at the clock on your desk, 5:30 AM. Remus was out of it. And probably outside your door. You scrambled from your bed, closing the distance between you and the door, and cracked it open. Sure enough, the brown-haired man stood there, with his greenish-pale face and clammy skin.
"I'm sorry-"
"Remus please-" You dragged him inside, quickly directing him towards your bed. You made sure he laid down while you assessed him for any accidental injuries. As you got to work Remus watched you, the way you muttered to yourself as you read the labels to potions and serums to try and help him. Your dark blue silk gown flowed down your body, reaching right over your knee. It reminded him of a river at night. The lighter blue robe loosely tied around you pooled around ur feet as u crouched next to your medicine box.
“Here drink this, it should make you feel better,” you say next to him, one leg tucked under your thigh, the other hanging from the side of the bed. You brought the small vial up to his lips, one hand under his head to try to bring him up. The green liquid tasted slightly bitter but he drank the whole vial without reproach.
Remus sighed as he felt his body warm. You got up again, opening and closing cabinets, muttering to yourself again. You found a chocolate bar and a cloth with a sigh and walked briskly back to his side. Remus felt sadness bubble up from deep within. He thought of you all alone for so many years, he watched your face as you dabbed a warm damp cloth around his face. He hadn’t noticed before, how you didn’t look all that older. Tired, yes, beautiful, always. Last time he had seen you, the two of you were freshly 21 and you felt like you would eat the world raw. Now you were 33. Most people your age haven’t seen half of what you had. You had a frown on your face, and your eyes reflected a deep sorrow.
You were so young. Remus thought of your time apart. He couldn't rationalize that he had lived so long without you.
You were both still so young.
”I’m sorry,” Remus couldn’t help saying it
”You don’t have to apologize for anything Rem,” your voice was barely above a whisper, you conjured some water in the glass on your bedside table. You went to help him drink from it and he grabbed it from your hand, sitting up.
“I do though,” his eyebrows stitched together in worry, he placed the cup back in its original spot. He couldn’t help but look away “I left-“
Your hands dropped onto your lap, you felt like your heart was falling out of your chest.
”You didn’t owe me anything, we just drifted-“
”Love you know that’s not true,” your head spun at the nickname, you hadn’t heard it come out of his mouth in so long. Old habits die hard. “I left you alone and we’re all the other has left.”
He shook his head and felt his eyes fill with tears. You could feel the tears start falling from yours as well.
”It’s my fault I should’ve tried harder-“ Remus laughed in indignation.
”Y/N it is not your fault,” as you tried to talk, to somehow convince him and yourself that your distance had been your doing, that you had been the one to cut him off, the one to leave, he grabbed your hand. “I was the one that stopped answering calls and the door, I moved away, I’m the one that did everything in my power to not think about what had happened and that included leaving you-"
Remus couldn't help but think the worst of himself, as he saw the tears stain your cheeks and your nose redden. You were full-on crying now, clutching his hand like he would vanish into thin air. Remus Lupin was someone who left. He knew this, he always had been, as a kid he ran from his problems. From his lycanthropy, from his mother's illness in his teenage years, from his father's sadness. He ran then, spending holidays at Hogwarts where he could pretend that the only thing that plagued him was the full moon, moving in with Sirius and Peter right after graduation. Being the first one out of the door after they had to go their separate ways for safety.
He was still a man that left. He left you as the both of you stood alone in the ruins of the family you had all built. He ran as far as he could.
Remus Lupin was someone who left. And he feared that the look on your face now would forever make his heart bleed. Because how could he have let himself leave you?
But you didn't see that, and if you did you didn't hold it against him. Your tear-ridden eyes shone when you looked at him. He felt like he might suffocate under your gaze. He wanted nothing more than to kiss you, for all the years he didn't, for all the times he almost did. Remus Lupin wanted to kiss you more than anything else in the world.
That could wait, he had already waited a lifetime anyway.
He pulled your arm until your body collided with his chest, heart to heart. His hand pressed your head close to him, your hands gripping his soft sweater until your knuckles turned white. He buried his face in your hair as you both cried, sobs trembling through both your chests. Your knees on the bed as your top half lay on top of him. You didn't care, the only thing you could think about was how he was here now, how he held you, and the way his hand rubbed up and down your back.
"Please never leave Remus," the words managed to escape you between sobs, and he could hardly manage to croak out a never again.
And he never would. Remus vowed to himself, at this moment with you in his arms, he'd never let go again.
He'd never leave.
-
It had become a habit for the two of you, to seek each other's comfort. You'd wonder what it felt like to kiss him. Although you were close now, there seemed to be a line neither of you would cross. Wary of the other's reaction. You figured that maybe after so many years any romantic interest in you had dissipated.
So the habit persisted, he'd come beaten and battered after a full moon, Severus's potion-making is quite unreliable, isn't it? You figured he did it on purpose. And you'd patch the brown-haired man, only then would he pull you into his arms. Remus was soft and pliable, the exhaustion of the transformation made him melt into your body and your bed. He more often than not dragged himself to your room, even when the full moon was far, even when he felt good. He would make his way to your room, and you'd always greet him with your arms wide open and ready to press your bodies together until you fell asleep. He'd usually be gone by morning.
It was December now, and the cold made his joints feel brittle and ache.
He had gone directly to your room after dinner, he couldn't help but watch you as you got ready for bed. He stripped down from his robes until he was only in a loose white tee and a pair of joggers he had permanently left in your room. The aches that resonated through him often made you forget that Remus Lupin was still a young man. You were only 33. The remainders of youth highlighted the shape of his body as he threw himself on your bed. The white tee shifted upwards with his arms revealing slivers of his torso. You couldn't help but look through your mirror as you brushed your hair.
Your dynamic had become somewhat domestic, he'd watch you get ready and pull you into his arms to sleep together. You felt like a silly teenager, playing house. Like this was the life you were supposed to live, the soft music pouring from the record player, a soft song you heard many years ago. The type of song that makes nostalgia and melancholy settle in your heart. This was it, the life you were supposed to live was the way Remus crossed the room and pulled you by the hand. The way his arm pulled you close and you slow danced, laughing at the way you tumbled around. You deserved a soft life, one with chocolate frogs and slow rhythms. A life with laughter and joy, of feeling unjudged, of feeling safe and warm.
A life full of love.
And as Remus spun you around and laughter poured from both your lips you couldn't help but feel your heart swell. It felt like a warm flower bloomed in your chest as you looked at his smiling face. He slowed your spinning around the room as the song came to a close but you remained in his arms, you could feel the tip of his fingers tug slightly at a lock of your hair. You couldn't help but smile up at him between giggles.
"Can I kiss you?" his words were merely a whisper, like a ghost of desire. And you couldn't help but smile even wider, pulling his neck down to press your lips against his soft ones. He tasted of spearmint and chocolate, and you couldn't help but break into a smile, lips still pressed onto his. He leaned back, holding your face between his large hands. Laughter bubbled from his lips as he leaned in for a second kiss, head spinning, his lips soft but firm. He dragged his lips to your cheeks, pressing pecks on the apples of your cheeks, on your jaw, on your neck. Laughter bounced between the two of you.
Fifteen years of desire piled up to one kiss.
This life was the one you deserved.
#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#marauders#the marauders#the marauders era#friends to lovers#angst with a happy ending#remus lupin x y/n#remus x you#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x reader#remus x reader#remus lupin#moony x reader#poa!remus#marauders fanfiction#marauders fic#marauders era#remus lupin angst#remus lupin fluff#remus john lupin
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hi! i saw in one of your posts you wrote about how Sirius Black had no reason to bully Snape and i thought about it…..i mean doesn't his hatred seem too personal? we have Lupin who has no contact with Snape after book 3 but Sirius goes crazy when Snape is around and they are alone so he can attack him (kitchen scene in book 5). and he knows so much about him: who he hung out with at school, his relationship with Lucius; at the same time he doesn't know about the mark, about how Severus was the one who brought the prophecy to voldemort that led to Lily and James death. and yes he is stuck at age 21 but even then they graduated school and as he says they never heard of Snape in those years. It seems a bit odd: don't bullies usually try to downplay their role in what they did to the victim, or even try to make it look like nothing happened? And he and Remus try to do that with Harry, but at the same time he seems incredibly proud and pleased with himself when he talks about the prank. One moment confused me when I was reading book 3: when Sirius has Peter at gunpoint with his wand, he is extremely focused on him. He doesn't take his eyes off him, because it was for this moment, the act of revenge, that he escaped from prison. As far as I remember, Harry describes it as "nothing could distract him at that moment" or something like that. But as soon as Remus even mentions Snape, Sirius' attention suddenly switches: he turns away from Peter and asks about him again. Or when he watches Snape during the OWL exams??? Especially when Rowling describes his reaction after the exam, when he sees him under the tree, as the reaction of a dog to a rabbit. He seems so obsessed and like something happened between them that really got to him. Or he's just as intolerant of half-bloods as his family. I completely agree with you that Sirius bullied Snape simply because James did it and he found it funny. But his hatred seems excessive, he has no reason to hate Snape so much. James has his excuse about Lily, but Sirius has none of that. But he still tries to kill him and it doesn't really matter hides, lol. I've read an opinion that he hates him because of his unrequited feelings for James, where Severus is the reason James even noticed Lily, which I don't really agree with, to be honest. Sorry, it got too long, ahaha. What I want to ask is: do you have any thoughts on this?
Well, the explanation for his relationships at school is quite simple because Sirius doesn’t leave home until he’s 16. Considering that his brother goes to Slytherin and that Narcissa is his cousin, it’s not strange to deduce that Snape’s name, along with other Slytherin students, probably came up at some family dinner/lunch/meeting. Like, talking about who in Regulus and Sirius’ year might have ‘potential,’ for example. It seems coherent to me that, considering Sirius’ environment until he leaves to live with the Potters, he’d be aware of certain things.
Leaving that aside, let’s talk about Sirius Black, because I think in recent years the Marauders fandom has ruined this character, and he’s actually a character with a lot of depth. Or at least more than many others in the saga.
(This is gonna ne so fucking long lol)
Sirius is a posh kid. He’s a posh kid who is embarrassed about being posh and feels guilty about it. He’s the typical rich kid from a conservative family who’s had issues with his mom (in this case) and his way of getting back at everything he felt was missing from his childhood is to vehemently oppose everything he thinks she represents. And the funniest part is that (as is often the case) his problem with his mom is that they both have a terrible character, which is why they clash. Because Sirius has the kind of terrible character that is incompatible with anyone else who has the same terrible character. But despite everything, he’s still a posh kid. Because he comes from an aristocratic family and was raised with those values of superiority. Because he’s never had to fend for himself (he leaves home but goes to another rich family, the Potters, and on top of that, his uncle Alphard leaves him his entire inheritance, so he has plenty of money) and he has always enjoyed the privilege of his surname, his blood status, and the fact that he’s (according to Rowling) super handsome. In other words, Sirius belongs to the ruling class and behaves with the same arrogance, entitlement, and lack of empathy that is typical of that class. No matter how much he tries to deny it and distance himself from it, he can only do so on a superficial level (Muggle posters, being a Gryffindor, enchanting a Muggle motorcycle) because when it comes down to it, he has no idea how to deconstruct himself, nor is he interested in giving up or losing his privileges, because he’s quite comfortable with them. He’s like the typical aristocratic kid from an Opus Dei family who thinks he’s better than everyone around him because he votes for the left and has been to four protests, but at the end of the day, he still lives a bourgeois life and doesn’t understand the root of social problems.
That said, let’s move on to James.
I think James was everything Sirius wanted to be. No, not be, I think James had everything Sirius wanted to have: loving parents, a family that wasn’t involved in a cult, a pleasant environment that allowed him to do whatever he wanted instead of being constrained by traditions and social norms, liberal and progressive ideals… James had the life Sirius had always wanted, but with one key detail: he was also rich and from an old, prestigious family. This is super important because when Sirius chooses his rebellion partner, he doesn’t pick some random Muggle-born, or a half-blood, or someone from the middle or lower class. Sirius chooses as his best friend someone who embodies everything he wants to be/have, but who at the same time belongs to his same social stratum, both economically and in blood status. Sirius chooses a future Gryffindor rebel with very different ideas from his family, but ironically he chooses like anyone from his family would: someone with money, status, and power. And I find this super amusing because it’s so coherent with his character. I mean, if Sirius were a real person, he would’ve done the same thing because guys like him are like that: the kings of cognitive dissonance and double standards.
Sirius always wanted James’ validation, or at least that’s how I see it. I think for him, feeling that James approved of what he did was a way to legitimize himself as someone different from his family. James represented the “progressive” social elite that Sirius aspired to by rejecting the traditional values imposed on him. So, unconsciously, he understood that if he did everything James wanted, and I’ll go further, everything he thought James would like, then he would distance himself from that Black image and gain validation as something entirely opposite. The problem is that Sirius, unlike James, was raised in an environment where ethical and moral values were very different, and where it was clearly established that certain people were “the other,” an “other” sociologically understood as the idea that some humans are inherently less than others. And although Sirius consciously rejected this idea, unconsciously he had been raised with it. Therefore, consciously, he didn’t reject people based on their blood status because he could identify that as something his family would do, and family = bad. But unconsciously, he was conditioned to see other people as non-people, and this is where Severus comes into play.
James dislikes Severus because he sees him as an obstacle/threat/nuisance in his crush on Lily. By default, and because of that constant need for validation from James, Sirius also focuses on him as a hostile element. And if he’s hostile to James, who in a way is his moral compass, then that guy must be trash because, of course, it’s obvious. But not only that, this guy is also a half-blood and poor, so poor he wears old clothes. And on top of that, he’s ugly. And not very masculine. So he has all the elements for Sirius, the aristocrat raised in luxury under the premise that he’s better than others because of his origins, to see him as “the other” and exercise all his power and privilege to oppress him without remorse, because for him, it’s justified. Justified unconsciously by the education he received, and consciously because if James hates him, there must be a good reason to hate him, so everything is justified. If we add to that the fact that Severus desires everything Sirius has always tried to reject: more social status, more recognition, power, belonging to Slytherin, rubbing shoulders with important wizards, forgetting the Muggle world he grew up in… well, we have a molotov cocktail for him to make Severus’ life unbearable. And Severus is an easy target for someone like school-age Sirius Black: he has no friends, no surname, no parents to protect him, and no stable socio-economic situation. Sirius can project all his frustrations onto him without any consequences. He can completely dehumanize him and stop seeing him as a person. He can behave like a Black.
I think the Prank is a good example to see the difference in upbringing between Sirius and James. Both are bullies, both are abusers, both have zero remorse when it comes to using their status and power to make life impossible for those they believe deserve it. But James was raised in an environment where he knows that actions have consequences, that you can’t cross “certain lines,” such as murder, for example. Sirius was taught the opposite—he was raised to think that the life of “the other” holds no value, and that is something that in his story with Severus goes too far. James understands that death is something serious and can bring terrible consequences, while Sirius does not. For the Black family, death is nothing if there is a reason for the person to die, and Sirius has his own reasons for playing with Severus’ life the way Bellatrix would play with the life of any Muggle-born.
(This is something I really like as well—the way Sirius and Bellatrix are fundamentally alike, and how little that’s discussed. But I’ll leave that for another time, otherwise I won’t finish.)
I don’t think it’s a matter of Sirius being obsessed with Snape, but rather that, for all the reasons I’ve explained, he uses Severus as a catalyst for his repressed anger and that sadism he inherited from his family. He can’t channel it toward anyone else because that would lead to absolute rejection from James. Since James hates and despises Severus, he’s never going to question Sirius for channeling all his pent-up rage on him, so it’s a free pass. If he had reached that level of sadism with someone who didn’t provoke the same level of animosity in James as Severus did, he would have risked confronting his biggest fear: that James would see him as a Black, not as Sirius. Losing his validation as the black sheep to become just another one of them. So he focuses on Severus because it’s a safe bet.
Moving on to their relationship during the book canon…
We don’t really see a proper confrontation until the fifth book. I mean, in the third, it shows that Sirius still sees Severus as “other” by dragging him along while unconsciously banging his head. In the fourth, there’s that scene where Dumbledore forces them to shake hands, and it’s clear they still hate each other. But it’s not until the fifth book that we get a real confrontation, where Sirius loses his temper. I think this has a lot to do with (drumroll) once again that cognitive dissonance between what Sirius always wanted to be and what he actually is, especially given the role he plays on the chessboard at that point in the story.
Sirius did everything he could to distance himself from his family, and the climax of that was joining the Order of the Phoenix and actively fighting against that same family, several members of whom were “soldiers” for the opposite side. Sirius is finally achieving what he wants—to be a hero. To stop being part of the elite dark villains and instead be part of the heroic elite. The noble of high birth who fights valiantly for the good of the realm, just as James was destined to be. It’s the climax, the absolute fulfillment of his adolescent desire. But then he’s thrown into Azkaban, and when he gets out, he finds that the poor, weird kid addicted to dark arts, who sucked up to future dark wizards, who hung out with purists and even joined the “bad side”—the side of Sirius’ family, the villains—is now the most important member of the Order. He’s none other than Dumbledore’s right hand. He’s a double agent risking his neck every day and has more responsibility than anyone else. That kid Sirius called Snivellus for being a crybaby has more guts and more endurance than most people. The one who always wanted to be part of the elite Sirius hated is now the one playing them all, making them look like idiots. The one who looked frail and effeminate turns out to be more “manly.” And that hurts. That hurts a lot. You go to prison, and when you get out, the person you didn’t even consider a person not only ranks above you, but is playing in a league you can’t aspire to. And the best part is, Sirius can’t fully accept it because he’s still Sirius—a classist, privileged aristocrat incapable of accepting that (as is only logical) the poor working-class kid turned out to be far more useful than him in both politics and war.
To me, it’s poetic justice.
#sirius black#sirius black meta#sirius black headcanon#sirius black analysis#severus snape#pro severus snape#pro snape#james potter#marauders#marauders era#marauders fandom#harry potter#harry potter headcanon#padfoot
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Why Wolfstar makes sense canonically
Call me delusional but welcome to my TED talk
Most of this has been said repeatedly by others over the years. I don't mean to steal anybody's credit, so if you feel like I have, please reach out.
This is me 'defending' Wolfstar, I'm not hating on another ship here and I won't engage in a discussion about which ship makes more sense. I'm just trying to elaborate why I can 'see' Wolfstar - even from a canon perspective.
I'm trying (and hoping to succeed) to be respectful and I'm not attacking a specific person here. This is just a general post with all my thoughts on the matter and all the arguments I've heard against it.
Brace yourself because this is going to get really really long, and there'll be a lot of quotes from the original source material.
The original source material
I feel that many people who claim the ship doesn't make sense fail to see that we're in this fandom because it did make sense to us after reading the books. The fandom exists, because many people saw it. Because it's possible to see it. It's not the other way around.
The thing with Wolfstar is, that it's all in the 'show not tell' which I suppose makes it 'easy' to overlook. Obviously it is, with the author not intending the ship - I'm not saying wolfstar is canon, but it makes a lot of sense with what we have in canon.
Their nonverbal communication
They have a lot of nonverbal communication going on, which shows a great level of understanding for one another. But they're not only able to read one another, they're actively (and both of them) communicating via eye contact - a lot. They're searching for the other person's eyes and are passing along 'thoughts', are reaching silent understandings just like that. That hints at a great emotional connection.
Let's do that 'chronologically':
It doesn't take more than a single look from Sirius to convince Remus that he is innocent. At this point Remus doesn't know shit about what really happened. He admits so himself later on, he keeps asking Sirius questions later on. And yet again he's so ready to believe Sirius,
Professor Lupin came hurtling into the room, his face bloodless, his wand raised an ready. His eyes flickered over Ron, lying on the floor, over Hermione, cowering next to the door, to Harry, standing there with his wand covering Black, and then to Black himself, crumpled and bleeding at Harry's feet. 'Expelliarmus!' Lupin shouted. [...] Lupin caught them all defty then moved into the room, staring at Black, who still had Crookshanks lying protectively across his chest. [...] Then Lupin spoke, in an odd voice, a voice that shook with some suppressed emotion. 'Where is he, Sirius?' [...] Black's face was quite expressionless. For a few seconds, he didn't move at all. Then, very slowly, he raised his empty hand, and pointed straight at Ron. 'But then… Lupin muttered, staring at Black so intently it seemed he was trying to read his mind. “'Why hasn’t he shown himself before now? Unless...-' Lupin's eyes suddenly widened, as though he was seeing something beyond Black, something none of the rest could see, '-unless he was the one… unless you switched… without telling me?' Very slowly, his sunken gaze never leaving Lupin’s face, Black nodded. [...] Lupin lowered his wand. Next moment, he had walked to Black's side, seized his hand, pulled hm to his feet so that Crookshanks fell to the floor, and embraced Black like a brother.
And then he says, still without having received any explanation, just like that,
'I haven't been Sirius' friend for twelve years, but I am now... let me explain...'
They are so in synch with their actions without even having to talk about it; they're forming a united front (I'm getting to that later on), they're again reaching a silent understanding just by looking at one another (again),
Both Black and Lupin strode forwards, seized Pettigrew's shoulders and threw him backwards onto the floor. [...] Black and Lupin stood shoulder to shoulder, wands raised. [...] Black and Lupin both looked staggered. [...] Black and Lupin were looking at each other. Then, with one movement, they lowered their wands.
I think it's also important to note that they do not just look, but look to check for each other's opinion on the matter. Harry asks them not to murder Peter and of course they listen to him, but they first look at each other as if checking to be on the same page. So - they've just reunited after over twelve years and immediately take the other person into consideration (I'm getting to that later on).
Then in OotP there's the famous fourty line stare where Remus is just intently staring at Sirius while he and Molly are arguing, as opposed to the others who are watching the conversation (who does that?),
'Lupin, who had been about to take a sip of whine, lowered his goblet slowly, looking wary' [...] Lupin's eyes were fixed on Sirius. [fourty lines of back and forth between Molly and Sirius] 'Personally,' said Lupin quietly, looking away from Sirius at last.
And it's not just Remus doing it. It's mutual. They act like a unit (again, getting to that). They care for each other's opinion and they do know each other so well that a single fleeting look is enough for them to check in with the other,
He [Harry] thought he saw Sirius and Lupin exchange the most fleeting of looks before Sirius answered [...]
And again when Harry contacts them via floo to discuss Snape's Worst Memory, they do it again,
They exchanged a look of great surprise [...] Lupin glanced sideways at Sirius, then said, [...]
They communicate via touch, too:
Black's wand arm rose, but Lupin seized him around the wrist, gave him a warning look, then turned again to Pettigrew, his voice light and casual [...]
So - Remus does not only convince headstrong Sirius to back down nonverbally just by looking and touching him, no I think it's also important to note that Remus, who isn't a 'touch person' (he's awkward when comforting Molly, he (as far as I recall) never hugs Harry, always just shakes hands), doesn't even seem to think twice about touching Sirius. No, he immediately pulls him into a hug, then is restraining him physically when he tries to launch at Scabbers, then continues to communicate via looks and touch. After twelve years of separation he's immediately comfortable enough to initiate it.
They're super in synch - also with how they say things
It carries through the whole of OotP, really. Sirius says something just for Remus to say something immediately afterwards or the other way around. When they're together in a scene, the vibe is always them carrying the conversation together, one adding to the other's thoughts.
It already starts in PoA,
'They didn't say what they thought they saw !' said Black savagely [...]. 'Everyone thought Sirius killed Peter,', said Lupin nodding.
But in OotP it's taken to whole new levels. It's too much to put here, but in that conversation where they tell Harry about the Order it's basically:
said Sirius / said Lupin /said Sirius /said Lupin... throughout the whole scene. One of them says something and the other one adds. And again. And again. And again.
And it happens again (though not to that extent) before Harry's Ministry hearing. In the Boggart scene. And then again when they discuss 'Snape's Worst Memory'.
They're also portrayed as being close to one another (distance-wise) repeatedly throughout OotP.
Like when Remus is there chances are Sirius isn't far. That doesn't have to mean anything of course but the frequency puts out a certain vibe to me,
'I said - shut - UP!', roared the man [Sirius] and with a stupendous effort he and Lupin managed to force the curtains closed again
Honestly, I think it's kind of funny that even when there're a number of people the two of them are always mentioned right after one another. Before Harry's ministry hearing, at Ron and Hermione's party, when Mrs Weasley is battling the Boggart, in the Department of Mysteries,
He pushed it open and saw Mr and Mrs Weasley, Sirius, Lupin and Tonks sitting at [...] Sirius, Lupin, Tonks and Kingsley Shacklebolt were already there Lupin had come running into the room, closely followed by Sirius [...] [...] and five more people sprinted into the room: Sirius, Lupin, Moody, Tonks and Kingsley.
And then when Harry floos to see Sirius after he has seen 'Snape's Worst Memory' Remus is there again-, casually sitting at the table and reading and Harry mistakes him for Sirius even (because he's looking so at home?). But Remus immediately knows where to fetch Sirius and comes back with him quickly after. That just has such a domestic vibe to me.
[...] long wooden table where a man sat poring over a piece of parchment. [...] 'Sirius'? [...] It was not Sirius, it was Lupin. [...] 'I'll call him,' said Lupin. [...] And Harry saw Lupin hurry out of the kitchen. [...] Lupin returned with Sirius at his heels moments after.
Remus and his relationship to his friends
Remus mentions Sirius first when he speaks about his friends, although in every other occasion it's always James who's mentioned first. He always says 'James and Sirius'/'your father and Sirius'; it's always James first, Sirius second, but when he's talking about him finding friends for the first time in his life, it's suddenly Sirius first,
'I had friends, three great friend. Sirius Black... Peter Pettigrew... and, of course, your father, Harry - James Potter.'
I don't think that necessarily means anything though, but I felt like adding it just for the sake of it... (I know the author stated James supported Remus after Hogwarts, not Sirius, implying they were (always) closer, but - and that's just my general personal approach - I don't care much for what she said in any Interviews/on pottermore/wizardingworld.com or whatever. She's contradicting herself so often there (see below). To me it's always books first and the books show that Remus and Sirius are close as adults whereas we don't have much information about Remus/James).
Then Remus is very obviously operating on double standards when it comes to Sirius as opposed to Peter. In his conversation with Harry it's insinuated that he doesn't want Sirius, who he believes to have betrayed Lily and James and killed Peter and twelve others, to receive the Dementor's kiss.
'He deserves it,' he [Harry] said suddenly. 'You think so?' said Lupin lightly. 'Do you really think anyone deserves that?
Yet later when he learns the truth he has no qualms whatsoever about killing Peter. He doesn't stop Sirius, he doesn't hesitate, he's joinng in. Why's this so different suddenly? Selling away your friends lives and framing your other friend (Peter) isn't worse than selling away your friends' lives and killing your other friend (allegedly Sirius), is it? So if their 'alleged' crimes are comparable, why is Remus acting different about Peter's than he is about Sirius's?
'Shall we kill him together?' 'Yes, I think s,' said Lupin grimly.
It's not about him thinking the Dementor's kiss was worse than death either. Because he as no qualms to bring Peter to the Dementors when Harry stops them from murdering him. So... why the double standards again?
Sirius/Remus also so do 'relationship behaviour'. I mean the whole nonverbal communication already, but also,
'Sirius, sit down.' [...] Sirius sank slowly back into his chair, his face white.
Remus gets Sirius even after over twelve years of being separated. Sirius is impatient in PoA, because he - finally - wants to take revenge on Peter. Remus not only sees that but tries to stop him. To me it reads as if he knows that Harry's opinion is important to Sirius, will be, once he sees clearly again and that he doesn't want him to destroy his chances with Harry by acting too impulsive. Because his intervention isn't rooted in his concern for Peter's life obviously, because he's ready to kill Peter once they explained everything,
'[...] I think Molly's right, Sirius. We've said enough.' Sirius half-shrugged, but did not argue. 'I'm coming up there to have a word with Snape!' said Sirius forcefully, and he actually made to stand up, but Lupin wrenched him back down again. 'If anyone's going to tell Snape it will be me!' he said firmly
Sirius doesn't exactly react well to being emasculated (and that's an understatement). He doesn't react well when Harry doesn't want him to come ro Hogsmeade as Padfoot - he lashes out and answers with a low-blow ('You're less like your father than I thought '). And yes, that's in OotP where his mental health isn't the best. But the rest of those scenes also happen in OotP. And he lets Remus call the shots, lets Remus stop him, in front of all the others. Remus is giving him a direct order like he is a f**** dog (not going deeper into this because I *hate* all those pup/pet play fics) and Sirius does not only not fight back, he complies. I'm not saying he respects/likes Remus more than Harry, I'm just using this example to point out that, considering Sirius's character it's a really big deal.
Remus understands Sirius and is looking out for him
'Sirius, NO!, Lupin yelled, launching himself forwards and dragging Black away from Ron again. “WAIT! You can’t do it just like that - they need to understand - we’ve got to explain -“ 'We can explain afterwards!,' snarled Black, trying to throw Lupin off, one hand still clawing the air as the tried to reach Scabbers, who was squealing like a piglet, scratching Ron’s face and neck as he tried to escape. 'They’ve - got - a - right - to - know - everything!,' Lupin panted, still trying to restrain Black. 'Ron’s kept him as a pet! There are parts of it even I don’t understand! And Harry - you owe Harry the truth'
And then again he's stepping in when Sirius is not doing himself any favor with Harry (again),
'And why did he fake this death?' he [Harry] said furiously. 'Because he knew you were about to kill him like you killed my parents.' 'No', said Lupin. 'Harry-' 'And now you've come to finish him off!' 'Yes, I have,' said Black, with an evil look at Scabbers. 'Then I should've let Snape take you!' Harry shouted. 'Harry,', said Lupin hurriedly, 'don't you see? All this time we've thought Sirius betrayed your parents, and Peter tracked him down - but it was the other way around, don't you see? Peter betrayed your mother and father - Sirius tracked Peter down-'
And then Remus is stepping in - again - when it's getting too much for Sirius,
'Harry... I as good as killed them', he [Sirius] croaked. 'I persuaded Lily and James to change to Peter at the last moment [...] I was scared. I set out for your parents' house straight away. And when I saw their house, destroyed and their bodies - I realized what Peter must'v done. What I'd done.' His voice broke. He turned away 'Enough of this,' said Lupin, and there was a steely note in his voice Harry had never heard before.
And in this scene in OotP he's also looking out for him,
'I'm coming up there to have a word with Snape!' said Sirius forcefully, and he actually made to stand up, but Lupin wrenched him back down again. 'If anyone's going to tell Snape it will be me!' he said firmly
They're forming a united front - not once, but it's a recurring motive.
Both are ready to handle the whole Peter thing together. They haven't seen each other for over twelve years, they didn't part on good terms and still they're immediately including the other. Even Sirius who's (in this situation) either failing to see how his behavior isn't doing him any good with building a relationshio with Harry or is incapable of stopping himself, is including Remus,
'Ready, Sirius' said Lupin [...] 'Together?' he [Sirius] said quietly. ‘I think so', said Lupin [...]
And then again, they're ready to kill him together, too,
'Of course,' said Black, and the ghost of a grin flitted across his gaunt face. He, too, began rolling up his sleeves. 'Shall we kill him together?' 'Yes, I think so,' said Lupin grimly.
And also non-verbally they're an united front (see above),
Both Black and Lupin strode forwards, seized Pettigrew's shoulders and threw him backwards onto the floor. [...] Black and Lupin stood shoulder to shoulder, wands raised. [...] Black and Lupin both looked staggered. [...] Black and Lupin were looking at each other. Then, with one movement, they lowered their wands.
Then they're portrayed as 'shoulder to shoulder' (figuratively speaking) in other situations as well. Remus is taking Sirius's side in the argument with Molly although he has no business doing so, although he usually prefers to stay in the background. He's usually keeping quiet, usually not speaking up - Molly even thinks she's getting an ally when he joins the conversation,
'Personally,' said Lupin quietly, looking away from Sirius at last, as Mrs Weasley turned quickly to him, hopeful that finally she was about to get an ally. 'I think it better that Harry gets the facts - not all the facts, Molly, but the general picture - from us, rather than a garbled version from ... others.' [...] 'Molly you're not the only person at this table who cares about Harry', said Lupin sharply.
Remus is always taking Sirius's Side - he keeps making excuses for James and Sirius's behavior at Hogwarts, he keeps playing it down - even as an adult. He's damn biased, he doesn't move an inch - as long as they're in public at least,
'Sirius thought it would be - er - amusing, to tell Snape all he had to do was prod the knot on the tree-trunk with a long stick and he’d be able to get in after me.'
'a schoolboy grudge' [Remus to Snape]
Lupin looked sideways at Sirius, then aid, 'Look, Harry, what you've got to understand is that your father and Sirius were the best in the school at whatever they did - everyone thought they were the height of cool - if they sometimes got a bit carried away-' 'If we were sometimes arrogant little berks, you mean',, said Sirius. Lupin smiled.
And I think it's important to point out that Remus does this even though it's not his real stance on the matter,
'[...] it would be - er - amusing, to tell Snape [...]' 'We were in the same year, you know and we - er - didn’t like each other very much. He especially disliked James. Jealous, I think, of James’s talent on the Quidditch pitch…'
The 'er' and 'I think' is a speech pattern of his that indicates he's not being completely honest/doesn't truly believe what he says. ('So he - er - accidentally let slip that I am a werewolf this morning at breakfast.' / 'Er - perhaps it will be best if we don’t revive him until we’re safely back in the castle.). He doesn't truly think they were as harmless as he's portraying it ('Did I ever have the guts to tell you I thought you were ought of order?').
So - united front on the outside, no matter what. But it's insinuated that behind closed doors Remus is taking a different stance. He's blaming himself for not stepping in with the whole Snape thing, because that's just who he is - blaming himself for everything (sometimes rightfully so, sometimes not) While I do think he didn't say anything outwardly, there must have been something that made it clear to the others that Remus didn't approve of their behavior,
'Of course he was a bit of an idiot,' said Sirius bracingly, 'we were all idiots! Well - Moony not so much', he said fairly, looking at Lupin. But Remus shook his head. 'Did I ever tell you to lay off Snape?”' he said. 'Did I ever have the guts to tell you I thought you were out of order?' 'Yeah, well', said Sirius, 'you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes… that was something….'
Remus is suddenly living at Grimmauld Place
So at the end of GoF Remus obviously has his own place (or is living with his father again, although he didn't want to because he didn't want to disturb his quiet life according to the author? But then again I don't care what she said on Pottermore).
'Sirius, I need you to set off at once. You are to alert Remus Lupin, Arabella Figg, Mundungus Fletcher —the old crowd. Lie low at Lupin's for a while, I will contact you there.'
So that's at the end of June. And then at the beginning of August when Harry arrives in London, just six weeks later, he's living at Grimmauldplace already, and not only at Grimmauld Place, he's living with Sirius
Lupin, who was staying at the house with Sirius but who left it for long periods to do mysterious work for the Order [...]
And then rhey give away joint Christmas presents,
Sirius and Lupin had given Harry a set of excellent books entitled Practical Defensive Magic and its Use Against the Dark Arts, which had superb, moving colour illustrations of all the counter-jinxes and hexes it described.
They act differently with / because of one another
Sometimes they even defy their core character traits.
Remus's primal drive in everything he does is to be liked/fit in/be seen as good by others (and not as the monster he sees himself as deep down). He's even sometimes manipulative and hypocritical because of it. For example he doesn't tell Dumbledore about Sirius's animagus form because of it (or at least it's part of the reason, or he believes it to be). But when Snape enters the Shrieking Shack he doesn't care about himself getting into trouble for - allegedly - helping a supposed mass murderer break into the castle and everything. Even though he stated before that he didn't tell Dumbledore about Sirius for fear of losing his respect, all he cares about suddenly is Sirius's safety:
'Severus, you're making a mistake,' said Lupin urgently. 'You haven't heard everything - I can explain - Sirius is not here to kill Harry-' [...] 'You fool,' said Lupin softly. 'Is a schoolboy grudge worth putting an innocent man back inside Azkaban.'
Also Remus is able to get through to Sirius even in a state of utmost agitation. Sirius is trying to murder Peter and Remus stops him and Sirius listens, even though his goal is finally in reach. Although, up to that point, he didn't exactly act very sensible (slashing the Fat Lady, breaking into Harry's dorm with a knife),
'All right then,' Black said, without taking his eyes off the rat. “Tell them whatever you like. But make it quick, Remus. I want to commit the murder I was imprisoned for…'
And he continues to listen to Remus, Remus continues to be able to get through to him even when he's getting emotional. And Remus, who's always trying to appear mild (for fear of being perceived as aggressive which he can not afford because of the werewolf-thing), who even spoke quietly before in that very same conversation, is losing parts of his composure when Sirius is attacked,
“Molly, you’re not the only person at this table who cares about Harry”, said Lupin sharply. “Sirius, sit down.” Molly’s lower lip was trembling. Sirius sank slowly back into his chair, his face white.
Remus is letting loose around him (and the other marauders). He quips,
'Did you like question ten, Moony?' asked Sirius as they emerged to the Entrance Hall. 'Loved it,' said Lupin briskly. 'Give five signs that identify the werewolf. Excellent question.' 'D’you think you managed to get all the signs?,' said James in tones of mock concern. 'Think I did,' said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. 'One: he’s sitting on my chair. Two: he’s wearing my clothes. Three: his name’s Remus Lupin.'
'Well, as everyone thinks I’m a mad mass-murderer and the Ministry’s put a ten thousand Galleon price on my head, I can hardly stroll up the street and start handing out leaflets, can I?,' said Sirius restlessly. 'And I’m not a very popular dinner guest with most of the community,' said Lupin. “It’s an occupational hazard of being a werewolf.'
[As @remusawoooo put it: let's form a comedy duo <3]
And Remus is obviously very comfortable with Sirius. He's always restraining himself, Harry narrates his way of speaking as 'mild' or 'quiet' so many times, but apparently he's different when he's alone with Sirius. That hints at a great level of trust. He doesn't bother to keep up his act around him, because he doesn't worry about being perceived as mild with him and just speaks his truth ( e.g. about Umbridge). He can just be and oh boy, thinking about Remus's character that has to be the greatest fucking deal ever.
'I know she's a nasty piece of work, though - you should hear Remus talk about her.'
And then Remus, who is so good at appearing restrained, is losing his composure when Sirius dies,
'He can’t come back, Harry,' said Lupin, his voice breaking as he struggled to contain Harry. 'He can’t come back, because he’s d-' [...] Lupin's face was pale. [...] Lupin turned away from the archway as he spoke. It sounded as if every word were causing him pain.
In this moment Harry himself is in huge (emotional) pain, but he still notices - must've been rather obvious, then?
Edit (because it's been pointed out to me): and then Remus goes into self-destruction mode after Sirius's death, signing off for dangerous Order missions, obviously falling into some sort of depression..
Their mutual respect for one another
So, I've read how Sirius wouldn't/couldn't possibly respect Remus / see him as an equal. How they wouldn't fully 'trust' one another. No matter if you 'see' Wolfstar or not, that is just plain wrong.
Sirius respected Remus already as a teenager. He (and James, too), cared for his opinion, otherwise they wouldn't have been affected by whatever he thought about their bullying. But they were ('you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes').
The whole Sirius thinking Remus was the spy thing also shows that he respected him. He saw him as capable - not just as capable of betraying his friends, but also as a capable person in general, a person with an own agenda, not just a copy of him or James. He didn't see Peter like that.
Sirius lets Remus take the lead in the scene in the Shrieking Shack even though the whole taking revenge on Peter/avenging James (James!) thing is most important to him. He does not only let himself be swayed by Remus and lowers his wand instead of killing Peter right after they forced him to transform, he also let's Remus lead the conversation. To me that shows a huge level of trust. He only joins in after Peter accused him of having learned tricks from Voldemort. But before that it's just Remus talking for some paragraphs?
And Sirius listens to Remus not only in that scene, but also in OotP. First he sits down again in his argument with Molly simply because Remus told him so. Then he's waiting for Remus to come back to the room before he even starts telling Harry about the Order business.
Lupin hurried of to the portrait to restore calm. It was only after he had returned, closing the kitchen door behind him and taking hs seat at the table again, that Sirius spoke.
Then he just accepts when Remus says they've said enough without arguing,
'[...] I think Molly's right, Sirius. We've said enough.' Sirius half-shrugged, but did not argue.
Headstrong Sirius, who's even challenging Dumbledore's orders by insisting on telling Harry stuff, who's challenging Dumbledore's orders by accompanying Harry to King's Cross (as Padfoot), who's willing to challenge Dumbledore's orders when he suggests meeting up at Hogsmeade (as Padfoot). But Remus says we've said enough and he is just like 'okay'. Remus says 'sit down' and despite him having been attacked personally he just does. He clearly respects him a great deal.
On a more subtle note (and maybe I'm reading too much into the source material here, but it makes sense to me)... The Prank was not a big deal in canon. At least not initially. But adult Remus tells us in PoA,
'That was still really dangerous! Running around in the dark with a werewolf! What if you’d given the others the slip and bitten somebody?' [Hermione] 'A thought that still haunts me,' said Remus heavily. 'And there were near misses, many of them. We laughed about them afterwards. We were young, thoughtless - carried away with our own cleverness. I sometimes felt guilty about betraying Dumbledore’s trust, of course… he had admitted me to Hogwarts when no other headmaster would have done so and he had no idea I was breaking the riles he had set down for my own and others’ safety.[...]'
And he's still making excuses for the prank in this scene and Sirius still says how, 'it served him [Snape] right'
But then in OotP when they discuss Snape's Worst Memory with Harry, Sirius obviously has some introspection and to me it easily reads as if they had talked about that behavior - as adults,
'I'm not proud of it,' said Sirius quickly. Lupin looked sideways at Sirius, then said, 'Look, Harry [...] if they sometimes got a bit carried away-' 'If we were sometimes arrogant little berks you mean,' said Sirius. Lupin smiled.
He cuts him off and to me it reads like, 'okay Remus, you can stop making excuses for me'. Maybe adult Sirius came to that conclusion himself with being out of Azkaban for almost two years at this point. He's certainly emotionally intelligent enough to do so. But then again, he's incredibly blind when it comes to Snape in general, even as an adult, so I'm not so sure about that.
Other things
Sirius was lounging in his chair at his ease, tilting it back on two legs. He was very good-looking, his dark hair fell into his eyes with a sort of casual elegance neither James's nor Harry's could ever have achieved, and a girl sitting behind him was eyeing him hopefully, though he didn't seem to have noticed. And two seats along from this girl - Harry's stomach gave another pleasurable squirm - was Remus lupin.
I personally think that's over-interpreting the source material, but I've read someone pointing out how it reads like,
'Hormonal male teen doesn't care for the attention of a teenage girl, why could that be, why could that be... oh, here's why: ...'
(let's not forget about asexual people though)
The Original source material getting ridiculously obvious without the author intending so
Okay, so I personally don't set great store by this, but I think it's funny:
Their names being the biggest cliche ever
Remus 'Moony' Lupin and Sirius ' the Dog Star' Black. Moon and stars, come on. All this from an author who's taking the name game to ridiculous levels. (I mean Remus Lupin = Wolf-son Wolf?, even Lyall = Wolf. And Sirius = the Dog Star Black. And he's a black dog.... really?)
Nearly matching Patroni
They have (supposedly) nearly matching Patroni. Remus's is a wolf while Sirius's is supposedly a dog because it usually aligns with the caster's Animagus form. Anyhow, it's supposed to reflect the caster's personality. Matching Patroni are a huge deal in HP. And a wolf and a dog are pretty damn close, meaning that even if they're not 'matching' technically speaking, they (the caster) are pretty damn close character-wise?
But what about...?
All your 'proof' doesn't necessarily mean they're a thing romantically
No, that's right. I'm not saying wolfstar is canon, I'm just saying it makes sense, even from a canon perspective. Obviously the author didn't intend them to be canon. My point is that it's no stretch to read them as being a thing (whatever that means - being together or just having some sort of unresolved feelings) even in canon.
I'm aware that the things I pointed out don't mean much if you look at them individually. I agree. Like, of course joint presents don't have to mean anything, maybe Sirius is just being 'nice', is including Remus. But it's the sum that give off that vibe—at least to me.
But hey, I'm not trying to convince anyone of Wolfstar; I'm just trying to elaborate. I'd be happy if we could all agree that, no matter any romantic feelings, they were very close friends. Because that, as I hope to have pointed out, is definitely canon.
They don't make sense because of the prank
First - they don't have necessarily to have been a thing back in fifth year already.
Second - the prank was no big deal in canon. I've already ranted about this in another post, so I won't repeat myself here. But canonically Remus didn't make a scene. Like it or not, think it's in character or not, but he didn't.
But Sirius disregards Remus's feelings in 'Snape's worst memory
So this is, what we're talking about, right,
'I’m bored,' said Sirius. 'Wish it was full moon.' 'You might', said Lupin darkly.
Again, they don't have to have necessarily been a thing back in fifth year already. Most of the 'show' we get from the original source material is from when they're adults.
And: Sirius being flippant is just how he is, it's not unique to his relationship with Remus, it doesn't mean he disrespects Remus or anything. He's sarcastic with James in that very same scene, too, even though James had just been insulted and turned down by Lily in front of numerous bystanders (maybe not the nicest thing to do?).
'Bad luck, Prongs' [...] 'Reading between the lines I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate.'
We - as a fandom - are turning the full moons into a much bigger deal than they were - or at least than Remus wanted them to be. ('And they didn’t desert me at all. Instead they did something for me that would make my transformations not only bearable, but the best times of my life. They became Animagi.')
But Sirius thought Remus was the spy - they couldn't have been close in 1981
'Being close' is a matter of definition, like, I can be super hurt and disgusted by someone's behaviour and still the person can mean a lot to me. So I think it's possible that they cared for each other even though Sirius suspected Remus to be the spy. But in the sense of them 'emotionally getting' each other I definitely agree. But - even if they weren't close in 1981 - what does that say about their teenage years? Or about them past PoA? Right, nothing.
But Lily's letter didn't even mention Remus and Remus isn't standing with them in the Order photograph
See above.
But you don't just move past something like mistrusting each other so deeply
Maybe you don't. They did. Because they did, no matter what you think about wolfstar. Btw, Sirius is asking for Remus's forgiveness, so there's that for the whole 'he can't forgive him for not having him gotten out of Azkaban'-thing.
'Forgive me Remus', said Black. 'Not at all, Padfoot, old friend,' said Lupin, who was now rolling up his sleeves. 'And will you, in turn, forgive me for believing you were the spy?' 'Of course,' said Black, and the ghost of a grin flitted across his gaunt face.
The ghost of a grin. Yes, Sirius is obviously very resentful.
And even if they had a chat about it during 'Lie low at Lupin's', even if they worked through some old baggage - by the beginning of OotP they're definitely super casual with one another.
Their whole dynamic is super toxic... The mistrust and everything. That's not a healthy basis for anything
Unfortunately, being toxic doesn't stop people from being in a relationship. But I don't think they are toxic, not necessarily. While I agree that they definitely have issues (I don't see either of them being good at healthy communication; how were they supposed to learn? Besides, both of them have problematic character traits), I do think, in general, they treat each other with respect. And there's no evidence whatsoever for either of them holding grudges about the spy situation. I know people want Sirius to be resentful because they feel Remus deserves it for letting him 'rot' in Azkaban, but there's no evidence for that.
But Sirius didn't seek out Remus's help in PoA when he was after Peter
That would have been risky, wouldn't it? And I don't think there was much on Sirius's mind except for the revenge thing. Sirius is usually quite calm and way less dramatic than fanon makes him out to be. But he loses it completely with the whole Peter affair. I mean slashing the Fat Lady and acting like the mad mass murderer everyone thinks him to be by breaking into Harry's dorm with that knife? (Stupid and also super risky with no wand)
But Sirius isn't with Remus in GoF but rather lives in a cave
Yes, to be close to Harry. Because Harry is his top priority (see below). So what does that prove? He's rather with Harry than with Remus. Agreed. But it's not like he was roaming the UK instead of being at Remus's before. He was somewhere south, far far away to evade seizure. He only comes back because of Harry.
It's understandable, because he feels responsible for Harry (and perhaps guilty because he blames himself for James's death). He doesn't feel responsible for Remus, who is a grown man - and Remus's safety isn't at stake. His own safety is more important than just being with his friend/lover/whatever, but it's not more important than Harry's safety. I think that's a pretty healthy dynamic actually.
Harry doesn't notice so they can't be a thing
Harry is great at noticing some things. Others, not so much. For example Harry thinks Tonks is in love with Sirius, so so much for Harry's perceptiveness. The books being from Harry's perspective is part of the point of Wolfstar making sense.
What about James?
What about James? Is this a contest? No one says Sirius and James weren't best friends (I won't step into the shipping James/Sirius debate here, I respect the ship eve though it isn't my cup of tea). We all agree they were super close. We all agree they were inseparable and that Sirius was devastated about James's death. Following this line of argument Jily makes no sense either (as @myheadsgonenumb pointed out). People are capable of loving their partners (or loving someone unrequitedly or loving someone without realizing) and having a close best friend at the same time.
Plus, who's to say he wouldn't have been devastated if Remus had died, too? People have the ability to care deeply about more than one person (and again, it's not a contest)
BANG! Thin, snake-like cords burst from the end of Snape’s wand and twisted themselves around Lupin’s mouth, wrists and ankles; he overbalanced and fell to the floor, unable to move. With a roar of rage, Sirius started toward Snape, [...]
Yes, Sirius is obviously completely indifferent to what happens to Remus.
BUT it does annoy me that a lot of wolfstar fics are erasing James / are turning Remus into everything James was for Sirius. Like James was just a side character for.Sirius. That's unrealistic. Sirius needs James, Wolfstar or not.
But it's stated Sirius and James only cared for each others opinions, no one else's
Is it really? I've basically already tackled that one above, but, while I agree that they were most important to one another, Sirius himself says to Remus, 'Yeah, well. You made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes… that was something….'
What about Harry - the books state he was the most important person to Sirius (and vice versa), not Remus?
Agreed and again - is it a contest? That line of reasoning would mean that parents aren't capable of loving their partners because they have children.
But Sirius wouldn't be with someone who let Harry suffer at his aunt's / who allegedly endangered Harry's life in PoA by withholding information from Dumbledore...
He wouldn't? The backbone of this argument is that Sirius would not trust/forgive someone who did these things. And wether you ship wolfstar or not, that is just canonically wrong. They were canonically close in OotP (see quotes above) - if you're negating this you're being delusional.
I don't think I have to deep-dive into Sirius's character here because it's obvious that he didn't hold a grudge against Remus.
Remus is too much of a loser for Sirius to want him as a partner
I feel like that's pretty much the same argument, so it get's pretty much the same answer: He wouldn't?
The backbone of this argument is that Sirius was too cool for Remus, had not enough respect for Remus, which is, canonically simply not true. No matter if you like it, no matter if you think it makes sense considering Sirius's character, it's fact that adult Sirius respected him very much. He listened to him, he cared for his opinion, he backed down because of him, he allowed Remus to take the lead. He doesn't treat him as inferior. Not a single time.
But Sirius is so much better than Remus, he has a better moral code, he's a better man, a better [insert statement here]...
Again - it doesn't matter much if you think so, or what I think about it. But Sirius didn't think so. Not a single proof he's resentful towards Remus, not a single proof he thinks Remus is inferior to him, not a single proof he doesn't respect him. The opposite actually.
But Remus is such a pushover, it just doesn't fit personality-wise. Sirius needs someone strong
Is Remus really? Because he isn't as an adult. At least not as long as he isn't concerned personally.
I see Remus as someone with deep-rooted self-worth issues, hence he's struggling to stand up for himself (his worst decisions are all linked to his poor self-esteem). But he has no problem in PoA to stand up to Snape (in the scene in the Shack), he has no problem to stand up to Sirius (multiple times in that scene), he has no problem to take the lead in the conversation with Peter. He has no problem to stand up to Molly when she's attacking Sirius and he tells Sirius to leave it to him to deal with Snape when they learn that Snape stopped giving Harry Occlumency lessons (and wrenches him down again). He's not as gentle/soft/pushover-y as people sometimes think.
Besides, we don't know much about how he really was as a teenager. He himself says that he didn't call them out for the whole Snape thing, but his self-perception isn't the best and he tends to blame himself for everything, so we don't really know how true that really is... As mentioned before, Sirius himself says,
''Yeah, well. You made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes… that was something….'
And also (before that),
'Of course he was a bit of an idiot,' said Sirius bracingly, 'we were all idiots! Well - Moony not so much.'
But Sirius is depressive in OotP - the long hair, the drinking, his moods...
Yes, of course, he's trapped in his childhood home without being able to do anything, he's feeling useless. No wonder he's depressed. Having a relationship doesn't save you from depression (although having no fulfilling platonic/romantic relationships at all can be a major factor for getting depressed).
If one or two pillars have crumbled that is possibly already enough for the roof to tumble down - even though the third is still standing (surprise!).
[On a personal note: I know what I'm talking about (although not everyone's experience is the same obvs) because I'm suffering from depression despite having a wonderful partner, great sisters and great friends.]
But Harry inherited all of Sirius's money/belongings when he died, not Remus.
I don't know about you, but I don't peg Remus as somebody who would've accepted it. Apart from that, Remus was an adult whom Sirius saw as an equal, just as capable as himself, whereas Harry was Sirius's godchild, whom he felt responsible for (and probably still guilty towards).
But Sirius had his wall plastered with pictures of bikini-clad girls
And I had a poster of my favorite (male) singer over my bed at the age of fourteen. Guess what, I'm not straight.
What about Remadora?
I'm not stepping into the 'Is Remus gay'/'Is Remus bisexual' debate right here because I don't think it's necessary. Remadora was after Sirius's death. Period.
And the whole Remadora ship is awful - for both of them. @lizlemonbennet wrote a beautiful post about that
Tonks deserved better - she was so unhappy pining after him, it was literally sucking joy and confidence out of her (her hair changed and her Patronus changed). Lets talk about her Patronus actually. Before Remus it was a rabbit, after she fell in love with him it was a wolf. If Patroni represent your personality, what does it say about you when your Patronus is your lover's literal prey? To me that's a pretty obviously unhealthy dynamic.
But you're erasing women from the story
No, we're not. Wolfstar was a thing before Remadora and Sirius doesn't even have a canonic love interest. Besides - I love Jily and doesn't Hermione get paired with just about anyone?
But the author stated on wizardingworld.com that Remus had never fallen in love before he met Tonks.
I think the whole killing off Sirius and marrying off Remus thing was just the author dealing with fans interpreting her story in a way she didn't like. So, that's point Pro Wolfstar in my book. Either way, I don't care much about what she wrote on Wizardingworld or elsewhere when it contradicts the original source material. Because the author contradicting herself in interviews, on Pottermore, with the films, and even within the books is really nothing new. Just a short list of her making no sense:
James Potter being a seeker, no a chaser, no a seeker, actually nvm
Saying that Snape was in a gang with the Lestranges ('a married couple') at school, when Bellatrix had already left school when Snape arrived at Hogwarts
Saying James was fifteen in 'Snape's Worst Memory' when he had to have been sixteen. It happened after O.W.L.s and students turn sixteen during their fifth year of school. With his birthday being stated as being in March in the very source material itself (DH), sorry, but that's just wrong.
The whole timeline of the Order deaths in 1981
Halloween 1981 being a Wednesday when it actually was a Saturday (Wednesday - Saturday, close, huh?). The story starts from Vernon Dursley's perspective who's on his way to work and Harry's been brought to Privet Drive the same evening. According to the 'real calendar' this means baby Harry spent over a day alone in the ruins of his parents' house? Cool
September first, 1993, being a full moon, meaning Remus has to have transformed on either the train ride to Hogwarts or during the Start of Term feast. Meet your need DADA professor, he's a werewolf, like, right now. Ups, I guess the jig is up.
Remus not transforming in PoA when he hurries to the Shack despite sun already having set just because the moon is blocked by clouds??? It's that easy to evade transformation, yes? Why not lock yourself in the basement, then?
.... (don't get me started on plot holes, I could rant about this to no end)
Other reasons the ship appeals to so many people
Friends to lovers (with a bit of enemies to lovers because of the spy thing?)
I don't have to elaborate on that do I?
Just the right measure of opposites attract / Like will to like - They're good together or at least have the potential to be
I didn't mean to turn this into some Remus Lupin / Sirius Black meta, but...
In some ways they are super similar. It's very important to both of them to be viewed as 'good' by others (although their definitions may differ). Remus because he needs that sort of validation because of his poor self-worth. Sirius needs to be seen as 'good' as opposed to his family. They get each other partly because they know how it's to be reduced to a single trait. But then they act very differently about it - Sirius plunges into action while Remus retreats and masks.
They're both dark in some ways; they were both ready to kill Peter.
James didn't believe one of his friends would betray him. Both Sirius and Remus weren't so naive (Although drawing the wrong conclusions):
You think I'm a fool?" demanded Harry. 'No, I think you're like James,' said Lupin, 'who would have regarded it as the height of dishonor to mistrust his friends.'
Remus is kind/gentle but he's also passive-aggressive at times and sometimes manipulative. Whereas Sirius is harsh, sometimes even cruel, but that means he's also blunt. That has the potential of them dragging one another away from the extremes a bit, meeting in the middle (although Sirius probably would be able to do so on his own, I think most times he simply doesn't care).
While Sirius is much less dramatic and rash than parts of the fandom make him out to be, he has a tendency to act impulsive (acting like a mad mass murderer when he breaks into the castle / wanting to murder Peter without thinking about what that means for his relationship with Harry / jumping to his feet to immediately have a word with Snape when he hears about him dropping the Occlumency lessons). He can do with some sort of counterforce just as Remus needs somebody who forces him to crawl out of his shell.
The drama
They get each other without really getting each other. Sirius thinking Remus is the spy is super tragic because he's (probably) in one way or another reducing him to the werewolf thing, which is the one thing that really hurts Remus.
But he doesn't do that for malicious intent - he does so because he sees Remus's struggle, because it makes sense to him and because he deems Remus capable. But he doesn't really *get* Remus. Because if he did, he would have realized that for Remus it was always most important to be liked/fit in. He'd never betray his friends' trust, because he's so grateful for having them in the first place. He would have rather died, - he doesn't think his life is worth much anyhow (as opposed to Peter). Remus would rather die than risk being shunned.
So he sees Remus but misses the point spectacularly. Which just breaks my heart. And still they're finding back to each other (as friends at least)
Goodbye
Thanks to everyone who's read that far. Again, I don't mean to bash any other ship, this is just about my 'love' for Wolfstar - canon wolfstar especially, meaning keeping their canon personalities and not erasing James or playing down his importance. Don't tell me I can't write a canon compliant Wolfstar story just because the fandom has transformed the characters into something else.
I'm also not saying that you have to read it the way I do, it's always interpretation anyhow. But I hope I managed to shed some light on the whole matter.
I didn't check the text because I didn't intend it to get that long tbh. I only had time to write it down because I'm sick at the moment. But I hope there's no holes or anything.
#Can we at least agree that they were close as adults? Bc that would already make me happy (and it's true)#wolfstar#wolfstar defender#remus x sirius#remus lupin#sirius black#marauders#marauders era
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character guide
reoccurring characters i frequently write about or plan to
(i love getting requests and asks about these characters!)
— best friend!james
"can he really stay in denial and pretend he's not in love with you if lily knows, what if she's told the others. what if she's told you?" best friend james is kind of toxic. he's jealous and possessive. he tried to ignore his feelings and instead focused it all on lily evans, who they later dated and broke up with. you and james have been best friends for years, you've known each other since first year. you call him 'jamie' and no one else does. you have a playful relationship, it's also affectionate with hugging and physical contact in general. you get cold a lot and end up stealing his blankets and covers from his bed, james has no complaints because when he eventually gets them back they smell like you. you have no idea of james' feelings towards you. you fancied james at one point before deeming that you had no chance with him and you couldn't ruin your friendship you had together.
— bestfriends!dads marauders / bfd!marauders
"you're not dating my harry are you sweetheart?" "what! of course i'm not! we're just friends." you say probably louder than you should, wanting to defend yourself. your best friend is harry potter and the marauders have taken an interest in you. they've noticed your lingering looks and they're waiting on making a move. you spend a lot of time around harry, so you also spend a lot of time around them, every time they want to make you theirs more but they're being patient. they've fooled around together in the past, remus and sirius more often than the others. they'd have one night stands with random girls together. they don't want to treat you as a one night stand. harry and you are in your early 20s, the marauders being around 43. magic is never mentioned.
— boyfriend!neville
neville places a delicate kiss on your temple and speaks lowly into your ear, "love you flower." you two have been in a relationship for quite some time now. he tells you he loves you and you tell him you love him too. you're an intimate couple, always seen holding hands and cuddling. in private you are the same, you find it hard to keep your hands of each other, and mainly it's you that would be described as a more needy person, always wanting to kiss him and fuck him while neville tries his best to put his foot down, you're rather persistent though. boyfriend!neville is a soft dom and worships the ground you walk on. he has a slight geordie accent and loves pet names, calling you 'flower' and 'petal' a lot.
— friends with benefits james / fwb!james
he has to tell you. he has to tell you. i love you. i love you. i love you. your relationship is that you have no relationship. you're not really friends but make out all the time. you've never spoke to each other about what you are or your feelings but overtime you've both fallen in love with each other but the other one doesn't know, and the whole school doesn't even know that you know each other. if james mentioned your name to his friends he'd get confused looks and they wouldn't even know who you are. you're not a gryffindor and you're very different to james, quiet and well behaved. you don't stand out from the crowd and you don't wish to, you don't have many friends either, preferring spending time alone. james goes out of his way to learn your time table so he knows where you'll be and when, wanting to know when he can steal you away from your next class so he can see you. you both wish you could spend more time together but never mention it to each other. james calls you 'love' but you're oblivious to how genuine it is and how he never calls anyone else it.
#best friend!james#bfd!marauders#boyfriend!neville#fwb!james#♡ lana talks#♡ mine / writing#/////#harry potter#hp#james potter x reader#neville longbottom x reader#poly!marauders x reader#hp x reader fluff#hp x reader smut
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my random HP family headcanons that i firmly stand by
(not canon compliant)
creature blood was remarkably common in the older family lines that existed before modern-day laws. it is rather rare that these families produce true creatures themselves, even half-blooded creatures, but the blood can often manifest into family gifts. for example, creature blood is how the slytherin line have their ability to speak parseltongue.
the black family are world-renowned in various fields. they’ve produced countless scholars, and some of the finest duellists of each generation. but the family specialty, that everyone learns, is curse-breaking and it’s inverse. there’s a terrible item in the family vault that could kill you if you touch it? contact the blacks. you need an object enchanted to persuade someone into supporting a wizengamot bill? contact the blacks. expensive as their services may be, it’s always worth the money. customer satisfaction guaranteed.
the black family have held their reputation for dabbling in the darkest of arts, even black magic, since their very beginning. their family name comes from their reputation of practicing black magic. this is separate from dark magic, and is a dead art today. whilst books exist in the darkest corners of very few family’s vaults and libraries, the sacrifices required have deterred anyone who picked them up for centuries. a branch of black magic involves the summoning of beings from beyond our world, ‘demons’ as they are often referred to. the summoning of a shape-shifting demon, and subsequent procreation with, is a potential reason why only the black family have metamorphmagi in britain today- though this claim is unproven, and no longer proudly claimed by the family itself.
the malfoys have veela blood, especially these days. it was a rather scandalous affair when abraxas malfoy married a french witch, amelie bonnacord, who had been adopted into a notable pureblood family and happened to be a veela. the malfoys already had distant veela ancestry, making abraxas resistant to the veela allure. their children, lucius and lydia malfoy, were therefore half veela, and her grandchildren, including draco malfoy, a quarter veela. the veela allure seemed to work differently with men, and little was known about it as men born to those with veela blood was rare. the malfoys spend most holiday seasons in france, visiting family, and all speak fluent french.
the potter family never have been, and never should be seen as, a sparkling beacon for light magic. as necromancers by blood, no matter how much time passes since their amalgamation with the peverells, they naturally lean towards darker magic to facilitate practicing the art. not every potter has dabbled in their family gift, it’s not a requirement, but the ancient books in the family vault cannot be destroyed and will always return to the vault after a necromancer passes.
a few centuries into the past, the potter family migrated to india before a couple of branches returned to britain in the early 20th century. fleamont potter and his cousin, charlus potter, were the first potters to be born on british soil for centuries. fleamont potter married euphemia patil, a half-indian british witch, and had james potter. james potter, upon marrying lily evans, had harry potter- who was half indian.
the lupin family have a long history of naturally born werewolves, hence their family name. as time went on, and laws changed, werewolves born into the family would assimilate into packs instead of living as wizards with a dark secret. with time, fewer and fewer werewolves were born into the family, and the werewolf blood appeared dormant. remus lupin became a werewolf through an attack from fenrir greyback- the first werewolf in the family in several generations. his condition did not pass onto his son, but it is possible that remus being a werewolf may awaken the possibility of future werewolves in the lupin line in generations to come.
the weasleys hail from an old irish clan, one which they no longer practice the traditions and magic of- deeming them outdated in an age where they are deemed ‘blood traitors’ for their love and acceptance of muggleborns. the family magic is largely based around the elements, and is only really practiced by bill and charlie- though fred and george dabble in it from time to time. due to turning their backs on tradition, the weasley manor wards refused to grant entry to those in the family who did not practice their family magics- which is why they live in the burrow instead.
the weasleys fall from grace is infamous in pureblood circles. before the first war, they were actually a rather wealthy family. arthur weasley’s auror wage was enough to live off with two less children, and their vault was plentiful. molly added to their income by authoring books on household charms and tutoring pureblood daughters in etiquette. unfortunately, molly encouraged arthur to funnel money into the order of the phoenix to help with the war- they were not active participants, rather financial backers. by the war’s end, the family vault had been halved, they had two more children, and molly had quit authoring books to raise the children. she soon quit tutoring too, turning her back on other pureblood families due to her paranoia that anyone who hadn’t aided the order in the war were all dark and thus contributed somehow to her brothers deaths. soon after, arthur left the aurors and moved to head the misuse of muggle artifices office at molly’s insistence, due to her persistent paranoia- this time that something horrible would befall him as an auror. this caused another significant drop in the family’s finances, gaining them their reputation of being a poor family with more children than they can clothe.
the nott family are descended from viking clansmen in norway, and the majority of the family are still based there today. they’re very proud of this heritage, and every child born into the family is trained extensively in hand to hand combat from a young age. the nott family additional pre-schooling education also includes the language of old norse, nordic history, ancient runes, and runic magic. the england-based branch of the family add norwegian on to this as well.
the gaunt line, and subsequently the slytherin line, are only extinct in britain (the cursed child is not canon to me idc about delphini). a branch of the family, descended from one ominis gaunt, live on in france and have long abandoned their practices of inbreeding. the branch or branches of the family that remained on british soil rapidly squandered all that remained in their vaults by the turn of the 20th century, leading the family to financial and societal ruin with only their heritage and a few heirlooms remaining intact.
the lovegood family are rather notable as one of the few remaining seer lines in britain. pandora lovegood, upon marrying xenophilius ollivander, found her own seer ability passed down to her daughter luna. many overlook their seer lineage and focus more on the family’s eccentricity, forgetting that true seers rarely speak in plain language- they cannot always just speak the truth of what their visions show them, they must relay what they have seen in a way that makes others search for the answer. it’s not that hard to understand when you actually try it.
#harry potter#hp fandom#hp headcanon#dark harry potter#hp drabble#harry potter headcanon#harry potter drabble#harry potter fandom#the ancient and most noble house of black#draco malfoy#luna lovegood#house of gaunt#weasley family#remus lupin#theodore nott
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Settled
( @wolfstarmicrofic , prompt: Forbidden Forest, word count: 297)
Sirius at 11 was wide-eyed and energetic, enjoying his newfound friends and freedom within the Hogwarts castle.
Sirius at 16 was defiant and fed up with his family’s increasingly desperate attempts to control him. He cut the ties and could finally breathe.
22 found Sirius at the darkest point in his life. The war was over, yes. But it had cost him everything, including his freedom.
It wasn’t until he turned 34 that he regained his freedom and sense of purpose.
Now, the years gathered around him like a blanket, more warm than cold. More love than conflict. At first, he didn’t know what to do with the love he had. But he accepted it from Remus, and from Harry, and they made their own family.
They celebrated weddings and birthdays and anniversaries.
And at 65, he felt settled. He never thought he’d want to be settled when he was younger. What excitement was there in that? He’d wanted the excitement of running in the Forbidden Forest, of missions, of riding his motorbike, of exploring endless possibilities.
But settled also meant this, sitting on the veranda behind their beach cottage with a wedding ring on his finger. It meant the lines around his eyes and mouth that didn’t disappear anymore when he stopped smiling. It meant the streaks of silver in his still miraculously thick black hair.
Remus sat down next to him, breaking his reverie. He threaded their fingers together. Their wedding bands touched and warmed at the contact. They didn’t vibrate endlessly anymore now that the locator spell in the metal had relaxed.
“Happy birthday, darling,” Remus said, turning his chin so Sirius could look into those amber eyes that were as familiar as his own reflection.
“Thank you, love,” Sirius responded, kissing him softly.
#sirius black#wolfstar#remus lupin#wolfstar microfic#older wolfstar#a home by the sea#happy birthday sirius
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Wolfstar Microfic - Broom
Words: 970
@wolfstarmicrofic
🌙✨🌙✨🌙
When Sirius flung himself into a broom closet to hide from Filch, it hadn’t occurred to him that it might be occupied. It certainly hadn’t occurred to him that it might be occupied by Remus and Mary MacDonald.
Sirius spun to face the door and shut his eyes tight, “Sorry!” He whispered, hearing Filch in the corridor outside the door. “I didn’t know—” Was Mary giggling? Wait. Was Remus giggling? He turned to look at them warily and found them leaning against the back wall of the closet barely stifling their laughter. One look at Sirius’ face and Mary had to cover her mouth to stop the laughter.
Remus was chewing on his bottom lip, looking anywhere but at Mary or Sirius and his shoulders were shaking violently. Sirius noticed how thoroughly kissed his lips looked and the lines Mary's fingers had dragged through his hair and turned back to face the door. But that just made the giggling worse.
“Muffliato,” Sirius whispered and felt the familiar cocoon of the silencing spell and turned back to them. “The fuck is wrong with the pair of you?”
Remus and Mary made tentative eye contact before Mary let out an almighty snort and then they were off again. Sirius didn’t remember the last time he’d seen Remus laugh this hard. He felt very much like he was intruding.
“As soon as Filch is gone, I’ll go.” He said with a frown. “And you can go back to… whatever it was you were doing in here.”
“Remus was just talking about you, actually,” Mary said, between gasps for air.
“Shut the fuck up.” Remus shook his head and covered his face. “Sorry, Pads. We weren’t expecting company.”
“One rarely does in a broom closet Moony,” Sirius said tightly, and somehow that set Mary off again. “You smoked?” Remus smiled at him, one side of his mouth lifting higher than the other in that perfectly Moony way, and he immediately knew the answer to that question. “Right.”
“You were in detention.” Remus shrugged, “Didn’t know I needed your permission.”
Mary whispered something into Remus’ ear that made him flush crimson and then she had to lean on the wall because she was laughing so hard.
Sirius didn’t want to snap, but it felt like they were talking about him behind his back, in front of his face, and he didn’t like that at all. “I’ve obviously missed something.” He pressed his ear to the door, hearing nothing. “I’m going to—”
“No, you stay Sirius!” Mary stepped towards the door. “Filch isn’t looking for me, I’ll grab a cloth or something and if the coast is clear I’ll let you know.”
This felt suspicious, but Sirius nodded. When Mary poked her head out and then left the broom cupboard, she slammed the door behind her and they both heard it lock.
“Mary!” Remus called after her, before covering his mouth and staring at the corner of the room trying not to laugh.
“Since when do you and MacDonald smoke together?” Sirius leant back against the door and crossed his arms.
“Jealous?”
It wasn’t the response that Sirius was expecting, especially as he realised that he actually was jealous. “Didn’t know you liked her, that’s all.”
“Ah, no. Not like that.” Remus smiled again and Sirius wanted to shake him.
“I just walked in on the two of you kissing in a broom cupboard.” Sirius was unimpressed at how this entire evening had gone.
“And you’ve never kissed someone you’re not into in a broom closet?”
“Yeah, but I’m not you.” Sirius studied him. “So what’s going on if you’re not into her like that?”
“We wanted to test something.” Remus’ mouth twitched. “For science.”
Sirius frowned, “The fuck are you on about?”
“Recently, Mary has had feelings for someone, and she wanted to know what it meant. I’ve been going through something similar. It made sense to… you know, with someone we trust, and aren’t interested in.”
“Yeah, still none the wiser.”
“I wanted to know if I was still attracted to girls,” Remus said plainly. “Mary, the opposite.”
Sirius just blinked at him. “You think you like boys?
“No,” Remus’ smile dropped, “I know I like boys. I wanted to see if I still like girls too.”
Sirius’ brain malfunctioned. “You know?”
Remus laughed softly, “Yes. I know. Why? You offering to test that hypothesis if I wasn’t sure?” It was the wrong thing to say, Remus realised, as Sirius had gone very still, and was focused on the only broom in the inadequately stocked broom closet. “Pads, I’m joking.”
“So, are you into girls as well?” He asked quietly.
Remus nodded, “All signs point that way.”
“I don’t think I am.” It was barely a whisper and it took Remus a few seconds to digest this new information. “I don’t think I ever have been.”
“Oh.” Remus wasn’t laughing anymore. “How do you know?”
Sirius arched an aristocratic eyebrow. “How do you think?”
“Right, yeah.” Remus’ mouth was suddenly dry.
“So when Mary said you’d just been talking about me?” Sirius stepped away from the door, closer to Remus.
“She wanted to know how I realised I was attracted to boys,” Remus said, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “So I told her about the time you fell on me when you tried to climb that tree by the lake.”
Sirius stared at him, “That was your gay awakening?”
“Bi, but yes. I don’t know if you’ve ever had your hot best friend literally fall from the sky into your lap, but that’ll do it apparently. Now you understand the giggling when you showed up, and Mary locking us in.”
Any signs of uncertainty vanished from Sirius as he grinned. “You know… falling into your hot best friends lap has similar effects.”
#wolfstar#ao3#fanfic#fanfiction#remus lupin#sirius black#remus x sirius#marauders#remus loves sirius#wolfstar microfic#just two hot best friends your honour
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an old friend, a new start {remus lupin}
plot: Fourteen years after graduating Hogwarts, you're offered a job to be the new Muggle Music Professor. Funnily enough, your old friend, Remus Lupin, is also offered a new job at Hogwarts that year.
character: remus lupin x female reader
note: this has potential to be multiple parts, if anyone's interested let me know cause i'd like to write more of it xx
You took a deep breath as you stepped out of the carriage to look up at the large, looming castle in front of you. Hogwarts. The castle really hadn't changed at all. It was still strikingly beautiful and so intricately built. Dumbledore took a lot of care to maintain Hogwarts and its grounds and it showed. You lifted your trunk off of the ground and made your way through the grounds to the Great Hall.
The last time you were here was fourteen years ago, the day you graduated. How times had changed. When you were last here, you and your friends were carefree and wild, excited to see what life had in store for you. When there had once been six of you, now only half survived. You hadn't spoken to the other surviving members of the Marauders in years, well Sirius had been sent to Azkaban for the murder of Peter Pettigrew (and you believed it was also for betraying James and Lily too. You and Remus fell out of contact a year or two after Peter's supposed death and Sirius's imprisonment. Life got in the way and it was too hard. There were too many memories and it was too painful so the two of you lost contact.
You often wondered about Remus. He had been your closest friend once upon a time and at one point, you had been head over heels for him but he never knew that. You would wonder about his life, how he was dealing with his condition, if he ever settled down...
Little did you know you'd be finding out sooner rather than later.
Professor McGonagall welcomed you as you walked into the Great Hall, "Ah, (y/n), dear, how lovely to see you after all these years." She greeted with a warm smile. She remained the same, a few more wrinkles around her warm eyes but she was the same, "Or should I say Professor." She had a twinkle in her eye, "I always did like seeing our students come back to be Professors."
You smiled, "Thank you, Professor," you said gratefully, glad that your first interaction was with a friendly familiar face.
"Oh," she said with a sweep of her hand, "call me Minerva... How does it feel to be back?"
"It feels good to be back actually... A little strange and bittersweet." You told her, looking around, "Their memories haunt me every single day but it's more intense here." Minerva looked around the Great Hall, agreeing, "I remember my first day getting sorted into Gryffindor and sitting beside Lily... She was my first friend here before I met the rest."
Her smile was wide and her eyes were a dazzling bright green colour, clashing yet complimenting her orange hair perfectly, "Here," she said, patting the space on the bench beside her, "sit with me, will you?" You gladly sat beside her as you introduced yourselves to the other, "It's all so exciting isn't it? Overwhelming but it's exciting to be somewhere we all belong."
You shook yourself out of the memory and apologised to Minerva but she tutted and gave you a warm smile, "Don't apologise, dear. Keep those happy memories of them alive, all of them." Even Sirius. Even though he betrayed the Potters' ending up getting them and Peter killed, "Speaking of the past, I do have some potentially upsetting news to tell you. Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban recently," you nodded, you'd read all about it. You'd seen his face plastered everywhere, crazed and wild, "James and Lily's son, Harry, he's a third year at Hogwarts... As you know Sirius is the godfather of Harry Potter and we fear that Sirius may try and come to kill the last surviving member of the Potter family."
You nodded as she explained the precautions Hogwarts was taking, "Dementors from Azkaban will be guarding Hogwarts. My honest advice is to stay out of their way, the scary buggers." You laughed slightly, "Just... Be on your highest guard. I've warned Remus too. You two know Sirius better than anyone."
You frowned, "Remus?" You asked, "He's here?"
Minerva looked at you puzzled, "Yes. Sorry, dear, forgive me, I just assumed the two of you would still be in contact."
"No... We haven't seen each other for about a decade actually. It was too painful. Too many painful memories."
Minerva nodded, "Well I hope that him being here and with Sirius on the loose, it may rekindle your friendship once again. The two of you were always the best of friends." You were. You and Remus did everything together, "I don't usually like to gossip on students but seeing as you graduated fourteen years ago, I always did think the two of you would be good together." She smiled, a twinkle in her eye, as you blushed furiously, "Anyway, he's our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Do you want me to show you where your classroom is?"
"Still fifth floor, right?" You asked her to which she nodded, "I think I should be able to find it myself but thank you, Minerva." It would take a while to get used to calling her that, "Once I'm settled, we should catch up some more." Minerva smiled and agreed and then you walked away.
"Professor Lupin's classroom is on the third floor," she called after you. You didn't have to turn around to know that she would be smirking.
Hogwarts was huge with lots of winding staircases that ended up going to different places but it was like muscle memory. Your legs just knew which route to take. Instead of taking the quickest route to your new classroom, you took a bit of a scenic tour, just wanting to soak up everything old and everything new.
The silliest of memories resurfaced as you walked around.
"Look, Moony!" James grinned as Remus approached the two of you, "Padfoot's going to jump down this staircase. He believes he can do it without hurting himself."
Remus looked to you and you just shrugged, "I tried to stop him but it's Sirius, Rem. We'll never be able to control him." (It ended with Sirius spending a night in the hospital).
You turned a corner, finding yourself in front of a painting that you remembered.
You'd just happened across her standing looking at the painting. It was only your second day so you stopped to see if she was okay. "It's crazy," a first year Lily Evans said with a wide smile, "I'm Muggleborn so this is still all quite new to me but it still amazes me that paintings move."
"My dad's a Muggle," you said to Lily, "I kind of had the best of both worlds. I knew about magic but also knew and grew up with a lot of Muggle stuff like Muggle music, I love Muggle music."
"Oh my goodness," Lily grinned, "me too! Who's your favourite?"
"I love The Beatles-"
"No way!" Her smile was contagious, bright and so happy, "Oh (y/n), we're going to be such good friends."
Then you went through a rarely used shortcut through a painting and through a narrow staircase.
Remus coughed, "I suspect this is seldom used given how dusty it is... How did you find out about this secret passageway?"
You laughed, "Rem, I quite genuinely fell through the painting and landed on the stairs. I went up them and they got me to the fourth floor much quicker! Trust the process. Maybe next time we should bring a brush and do a bit of housekeeping?"
After leaving the passageway you wiped your robes down, they had gathered a lot of dust. You wondered whether or not all the other secret passageways and secret rooms you had once hidden in were still accessible and hidden. You'd need to investigate soon. You headed up a spiral staircase and then after a short walk through a hallway, you were standing in front of a classroom which said in large golden painted letters: MUGGLE MUSIC. You smiled and slowly pushed the door open.
"Oh it's brilliant," you said to yourself, clapping with glee after putting your trunk down. It was quite run down, maybe not loved as well as it should've been but getting it back up and running shouldn't be too much of a challenge. You wandered around the classroom, a fresh lick of paint on the walls, some newer instruments and maybe some plants and the classroom would look a lot better. The instruments you had were in relatively good condition but luckily for you, you had plenty of instruments in much better condition in your trunk.
"I learned a new charm!" Sirius grinned, "Check this out." He swung his bag off of his shoulder and began pulling out various textbooks and things alike.
Peter glanced at you, "What's the charm?" He asked sheepishly, "So far you've just made a mess."
Sirius rolled his eyes, "Use your head, Wormtail! Look at the size of my bag and look at the amount of books I just pulled out! That's not all-" he stopped talking and then pulled out, "made sure to pack my handy dandy hat stand."
"You stole a bloody hat stand?!" Remus hissed but even he couldn't hide the smile from his face, "Where's it from?"
Sirius winked, "Just borrowing it, Moony... from Slughorn's office. Anyway... who wants to learn the charm?"
That charm was your second favourite thing you learned at Hogwarts, the first was the charm that Lily taught you afterwards to keep your luggage or bag or whatever you were carrying light, never weighing more than a pound. You lay your trunk on one of the tables, opening it taking out the various instruments you'd carefully packed away. You put them in the instruments cupboard, you'd sort it another day, but just now you wanted to go to your room.
Your office was in the room adjacent to the classroom and then in the room attached to that was your living area. A small bedroom complete with a double bed, a wardrobe, a chest of drawers and then attached was a small kitchen and a bathroom. Your living space was small but more than enough. Your office was a desk, a chair and a few potted plants. There was a bookshelf with various books, a couch and a couple of tables and empty units. You would put your personal record player in here and also have one in the classroom but you would unpack your personal belongings soon. You sat on the bed as you looked around. You could hardly believe that this was your life now, that you were here once again... not only could you not believe that you were here again but so was Remus.
Remus.
You sat upright. He was already here, you knew he'd be in his classroom unpacking and getting ready for the term ahead. A bubble of nervousness suddenly appeared in your stomach as you stood and looked in the mirror that was on the wall. You looked tired but that was to be expected after a five hour journey. You smoothed out your hair and robes before leaving your classroom.
Defence Against the Dark Arts was on the third floor, you remembered exactly what it had once looked like. It was one of your favourite classes when you were a student, it was just fun learning new things and getting to practice magic.
It was then that you noticed someone familiar walking towards you. Inwardly you groaned but you plastered a smile on your face, "Fancy meeting you here, Severus."
Snape sneered at you, "(y/n)... How delightful." He had aged horribly. The same greasy hair, the same large pointed nose, the same dark beady eyes and the same scowl. It seemed he permanently scowled judging by the wrinkles on his forehead. In school, Snape was awful. He was rude, judgemental, bigoted and a bully. And yes, you would then agree that James and Sirius bullied him too but Severus had called his old best friend, Lily Evans, a mudblood and then acted as though he hated her whilst still pining over her. You just didn't like him and Snape, well, Snape didn't like anybody, "I just ran into the werewolf. Already asking me to concoct potions for his... time of the month." Always a cheap shot to make a joke about Remus's time of the month. It was Sirius's favourite thing to do once upon a time.
You nodded, "That's good of you to do that for him. I'm sure he appreciates it."
Snape looked at you displeased, "Obviously."
"Okay, great seeing you, Sev," you said quickly, needing away from him, "let's catch up soon?"
Snape scoffed, "No thank you."
"Ah," you said, patting his shoulder as you moved past him, "you've not changed at all, Sev. Always a pleasure!" Snape looked pissed off as you scampered past him but let's face it, he always looked pissed. You shuddered as you walked away. Fourteen years later and he still creeped you out.
You could hear chatter approaching and you realised that it was the students returning from their summer holidays, coming back to school. You straightened your robes one final time as you walked down the staircase to meet handfuls of older students who were walking up the stairs. You greeted them happily and most of them gave you at least a smile back. As you continued down the steps you saw-
"James?"
Your heart was in your throat, beating hard, as your stomach dropped. You stopped in the middle of the staircase as a young boy, third or fourth year, walked towards you. At the mention of his father's name, his head snapped to you. It was like looking through a window into the past. His hair was just as dark and just as messy. His grin was just as cheeky. He wore the same full moon glasses but his eyes... those were Lily Evans's eyes. You caught a glimpse of the lightening bolt scar on his forehead.
"Sorry, Harry, right?" You asked forcing yourself to smile, "I'm sorry, you just look so much like your father but-"
"I have my mother's eyes," Harry said with a nod and a smile, "Did you know them Professor...?"
"Oh (y/n). (y/n) (y/l/n). I'm the new Muggle Music Professor," you introduced yourself to him and his two, what you assumed to be, friends, "I was really good friends with your mother and father actually."
Harry's eyes lit up. All that poor boy wanted was to know about his parents, "You were? Professor do you think you could tell me about them?"
You stepped aside to let some other students pass, "Of course. Any time at all. My class is on the fifth floor, feel free to drop by whenever. How about we get settled in today and later this week you could come by? Bring your friends too if you wish," you gave a polite smile to Ron and Hermione, "Professor Lupin was also good friends with your parents, that's where I'm off to just now. To say hello to an old friend." Old friends and new starts.
The girl stuck out her hand which you shook gladly, "Hermione. Hermione Granger and this is Ronald Weasley."
The red haired boy rolled his eyes, "No one calls me Ronald, it's Ron, Hermione."
"All of us are taking Muggle Music actually so we'll be in your class." Hermione told you ignoring Ron.
"Yeah after you forced us to take your boring class-" Ron stopped realising that he was insulting your subject to your face, "I'm sorry, I'm sure it's not boring-" His cheeks turned bright pink, as did the tips of his ears.
You laughed, "That's alright. I assume it probably was boring but that'll change now that I'm here, I assure you, Ron. Anyway, I best let you three go to your Common Room and settle in. Come see me whenever you wish, all of you."
"Professor?" Harry said as you went to walk away, "You said Professor Lupin was a friend of my parents?" You nodded, explaining that you'd all been best friends at their age, "Do you think he would come too and tell me about my parents?"
You smiled, "I think that he'd love that, Harry. I'll say to him and we'll arrange something, alright?" You nodded at them once more before disappearing down the stairs and along the corridor. You hadn't seen Harry since he was a baby and goodness he was James's double just with Lily's eyes. Lily's lovely kind eyes. They'd be so proud. You had been so preoccupied you hadn't realised your feet had already taken you to the DADA classroom until you had stopped outside it and there he was. He was unpacking a box of trinkets onto his desk.
"Rem," you said quietly but his keen ears heard your voice and he stopped.
He raised his head and a wide smile grew on his face, "(y/n)," he said back, just as soft, "What are you doing here?"
"Gone and got myself a job. I'm the new Muggle Music Professor." Remus smiled. He knew about your love for Muggle music. It was something the two of you bonded over since Remus's mother was a Muggle too.
All the nerves you'd had about seeing him again vanished as he welcomed you into his arms. You forgot how tall he was, how he still towered over you. Your head was on his chest as you breathed deeply. He smelled the same; coffee and chocolate. A scent that was so comforting to you, so warm and friendly; he smelled like home. You liked that no matter how much time passed, he was still the same dorky Remus you once knew.
He pulled back, holding you at arms length to drink you in, "You look incredible."
You grinned, thanking him as your cheeks burned furiously. Life had not been kind to him, you could tell from the tattered clothes and the beaten up trunk in the corner. He looked in dire need of a sleep but he was still handsome, a little wearier and gaunt with a few extra wrinkles but those warm, honey brown eyes were the same. His scars were more silvery now, like his hair which was still light brown but had greys scattered amongst. He was still as handsome as you remembered but your heart panged knowing that life hadn't been as kind to him.
"So do you," you said with a smile.
Remus rolled his eyes, "Oh, hush," he laughed, "How have you been?"
You nodded, "Uh, yeah, good... Yeah. You?" Now it was time for the awkwardness to come.
Remus shrugged, "Can't complain now that I'm here."
"I met Snape," you told him after a moment of pregnant pause. You recounted the whole encounter, making Remus laugh loudly at how you ended the conversation.
"Bet he's gone off to dip his cloaks in detergent now that you've touched him."
"Still won't wash his hair though, will he?" You teased making Remus laugh again. That booming loud laughter that you loved to hear when you were sixteen.
When the laughter died down, you said, "Have you seen him yet? Harry, I mean." You sat on one of the tables and Remus sat on the one across from you.
He nodded, "Uncanny, isn't it?"
"I called him James. It was like looking into the past but with-"
"Lily's eyes."
You smiled, "They'd be so proud, wouldn't they?"
Remus sighed fondly, a ghost of a smile on his lips, "Oh you know that wherever they are Prongs is bragging all about their Chosen One of a son." You laughed and Remus's smile grew upon hearing your laughter. He'd missed hearing that sound.
"I missed you," he murmured, "I apologise for not being a very good friend."
You shook your head, "I'm sorry too... It was just too painful, Rem. It hurt to see you after... after losing everyone else, after Sirius." Remus nodded, "It still hurts even twelve years later. To see you was to not see them; a constant reminder that they're gone and that we're still here..."
"Survivor's guilt," Remus spoke quietly, "I'd went to therapy when I could afford it... That's what she called it." The two of you were silent for a while before he spoke, "And apparently Sirius is back to kill the last of the Potters'..."
"What happened?" You sighed, "How could he?"
Remus shook his head, "I've been asking myself that since it happened."
You sat up straighter, nudging his knee with your foot, "When I ran into Harry I'd told him that I was close with his parents, said that you were too... He's asked if we could both sit with him and tell him about his parents. The poor boy just wants to know who they were. Would you?"
"Course," Remus said, "Just let me know when and where."
You looked around the classroom. It was still pretty much the same as you remembered it to be just with added decoration on the ceiling, "It's not changed much," your voice was quiet, "it's nice to be back."
Remus stood and extended his hand to you, "Would you like to go do some exploring?"
You took his hand as you grinned, jumping down from the desk, "Oh, I'd love nothing more. Lead the way, Moony!"
And all of a sudden the two of you were sixteen again running around the corridors of Hogwarts keeping your friends in line.
"You're my best friend," Remus said, words slurred from the firewhisky. You were all laying on the floor in the Room of Requirement. James and Sirius were snoring loudly, Peter was hiccupping in a corner and you and Rem were on the floor facing each other, "I fancy you but you're my best friend first and forever." You giggled as he continued, "Don't ever leave me, I'd miss you too much, (y/n)."
As you walked with him, with the memory repeating in your mind, you couldn't help but latch onto his arm, head on his shoulder. His cheeks tinged pink as you did this so casually. Maybe things hadn't changed that much. Maybe things would be like how they once were. "I missed you, Remus... I think good things are in store for us both this year."
Oh please be right.
#one shot#os#reader#reader insert#hp#harry potter imagine#harry potter one shot#prompt#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin#imagine#moony#hogwarts#sirius black#lily evans#james potter
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Hi there, hope you're doing well. I would love to request a fic where the reader is Sirius Black's wife who reunites with him after he escapes from Azkaban, takes care of him e.g. feeding him and grooming him, and helping him get better. Cheers!
Part II: Coming Home to You
Pairing: Sirius Black x Wife!reader
Characters: Wife!reader, Sirius Black, Marlene McKinnon, Alice Longbottom, Dorcas Meadowes, Peter Pettigrew, Lily Evans nee Potter, James Potter, Remus Lupin
Warnings: Angst, fluff, lots of stuff going on, I needed some background into, the reader is super traumatized bc of her powers, Sirius has missed his girl for too damn long, sad but good reuniting, this series is getting away from me, there's a lot going on the more you read, writing the deaths or the memories really hurts guys, but I'm doing it for you all even though no one asked
Word Count: 3,880
*Soooo, this became part of a short series, enjoy :)
A/N: Don't forget to ask if y'all want to be apart of the tag list, I love it when y'all ask :) <33
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You close the door, securing the cottage with a few simple shield spells; a reoccurring task since Halloween night all those years ago.
The small stack of paper on your counter reminds you of why you left to get supplies in the first place.
You place the basket on the counter and reach for the papers, the gnawing feeling returns to your stomach.
You knew going to Hogwarts after the night Harry lost his parents and lost... family would never be an easy task.
Trying to ask McGonagall to write letters to inform you of everything going on wasn’t the safest option but you felt there was no other way for you to check in on things… and make sure Harry’s okay.
It’s been too long for him to remember you and you’re sure he’ll feel like you abandoned him.
You sigh, resting your hands on the countertop, overthinking about the endless possibilities again.
The pain in your heart worsens whenever you think about the sweet innocent child who's had to endure the weight of the cruel and evil world on his own in ways you hoped never would happen to him.
You wipe away the fallen tears, remembering when Dumbledore stopped you before you left Hogwarts, informing you that he felt it was safer if you weren’t in contact with the child.
You regret not leaving something for him to know you’re out there, to let him know he has a safe place or just- someone to talk to and know there's someone who will take care of him.
You sigh and open the letter, only to find no letter at all. “Oh, Merlin.” Sirius’ wanted poster, you’ve seen it before but this- this was new. “You escaped? Oh, for Merlin’s sake.”
You lift the paper closer to you, wondering if this is somehow a trick. You shake your head, "Sirius what are you trying to do?"
-
He never knew what happened to you once he entered his cell. Although he never gave up the thought of seeing you again.
That's what kept him going, the thought of his little bird waiting for him, fighting to get him out.
It was all he needed and the reason he paws at your door.
-
Scratches on your door startle you, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin. "Oh, Merlin!" You take a deep breath, placing your hand over your heart to calm you. ‘What the-’
An idea pops into your head, "is that you Kit?" As you make your way to the door, a shadow catches your eye. "Kit-" You blink as your jaw drops while staring at the dark-haired dog. "S- so it's true."
You gulp down the saliva that's built up in your throat. "You did it. You escaped." You shake your head, ordering him to get inside so you can close the door before anyone knows where you are. “Hurry up.”
He trails inside, standing beside the door, watching as you franticly spell the place. He lowers his head, not used to seeing you be so frantic and paranoid before.
You spin around and stare at him with a face of pain. "Change back," you order him, tears trickling down your cheeks. “Please change back. I need,” you take a deep breath. “I need to see you.”
He trails into the kitchen, not wanting you to see his disheveled, dirty, and scrawny body.
“Sirius?” You step closer to the kitchen entrance. “Don’t leave.”
How could he leave when he's just found you?
He steps out, stopping in front of you.
“Is this real?”
“I should be the one asking you that,” he responds with a scratchy voice as if he hasn’t talked in a… while.
You can’t hold back anymore and wrap your arms around him, crying into him, burrowing your head deeper into his neck. "I've missed you so much."
His arms shake as he raises them, wanting to hug you back but feeling as though he is unworthy to do so.
Your arms tighten around him, "you can hug me, hug me as tight as you can and don't let go."
His fingers dig into the fabric of your shirt.
You pull back, letting him continue to keep his grasp on you. "How are you?"
He stares at you.
"What's wrong?"
He doesn't realize it until he's hunched over, gripping your shirt tightly in his grasp.
You hold the man as he breaks down, whispering comforting words into his ear. giving him the comfort and safety, he hasn't had in over a decade.
Eventually you get him to let go and the two of you sit down at the kitchen table. "Why are you here, Sirius?"
"A man can't come by to see his wife."
You purse your lips. "A man can but you're not just any man, you forget I've known you since we were children."
He zones out, keeping his gaze on the table.
You wander towards your cabinets, fixing something for him to drink. You place it down in front of him. "Drink it."
His eyes lazily glance over it before turning to you. "What's in it?"
"Do you trust me?"
He pauses, raising a brow. Do you know? "Have you given me a reason not to?"
You shrug, "you tell me."
He's never known you to be so harsh, even if you're not acting like it. "Would you poison the only person who cares enough to find you?"
"Or maybe you knew where I was."
"Are you waiting for me to- to do something?"
“Would you?”
“Do you even know what I went through? I-”
You slam your hands on the table and push yourself up, “no, Sirius.” You angrily point your finger in his face. “You don’t know what I went through when you- when you walked out of here, leaving me on my own.”
“You were safer here.”
“I was left to fight the traitor of our friend group.”
He pauses, turning towards you; if he had animalistic features, his ears would be tucked down along with his tail being stuck between his legs. “What are you talking about?”
Were the rumors true?
Had you been left to deal with Peter once he left?
His gaze moves onto the floor, feeling shame because he couldn’t protect his friend, nay his brother and his wife but to find out he put you in danger… Merlin, that hurts.
He’s been hurt before, his heart broke worse than it did when he thought he was in love with his first girlfriend (granted he was in his third year) but this is a different kind of pain; he’s genuinely hurt. It feels as if his heart is close to breaking.
"I do understand, Sirius and-” You throw yourself onto him, hugging him tightly against you, kissing the top of his head before pulling back to stare into his glossy eyes, wiping away the stray tears that trickle down his cheeks. “When you went to Azkaban. You- I thought I lost you.”
“You didn’t,” he huffs. “Now you have a cowardly husband.”
“Who says he is cowardly?” You sniffle. “Who? Tell me so I can handle them.”
“I am. You honestly can’t tell me otherwise, can you?”
You nod, staring at him with those loving eyes he’s only been told have been directed at him more than a dozen times by… them.
To see them for himself when he’s at his lowest, Merlin, you know how to make a man’s heart race.
“I can because no other man, other than yourself, would put himself in the most dangerous situation he could the way you did.”
“I left before I could protect you properly.”
“No, no. If you had been here, it would have been bad. We wouldn’t have been able to focus, you know, because we’d be worried about the other. Besides, I knew how to handle, Pettigrew.”
His head has never moved this fast (other than the time when Lily gossiped to Marlene, Alice, and Dorcas about you liking the man). “It was the rat.”
“Sirius now is not the time to get upset,” you say, wanting him to calm down.
“Calm down? Calm down! That damned rat is the reason we lost James and Lily, why Harry lost his parents, and we lost the only other people we could call family! And you want me to calm down!”
You cross your arms and raise your brow.
He takes a deep breath, sitting down once more. “Fine, I’m calm.”
“Did you, do it?”
“Do what?” He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer, staring up at you with the same expression he did when you two started dating: eyes full of love, a smile full of mischief.
“Were you able to get revenge on him?”
“Nope much like an actual rat, he escaped.”
“He’ll be back again.”
“Yeah,” his face turns sour.
“Come,” you grab his hand, pulling him with you.
“Oh.”
You don’t have to turn around to wiggle his brows.
“You’re taking a bath.” You stand in front of the door with your arms crossed.
His eyes widen.
“Just because your animungus is a dog, doesn’t mean you get to act like a big cat.”
“I, on behalf of my animungus, is highly offended.”
“Yes, well, I don’t care.” You turn around to open the door and leave, wanting to give him the privacy he needs (and deserves).
His hand wraps around your arm, keeping you in place. Against all his judgment he does the one thing he didn’t want to. “Don’t leave.”
You close your eyes, never imagining hearing him sound so small. “Okay,” you spin around.
“I’ll stay.” You don't need to hear him say thank you, him coming home to you is enough. You tell him to stay where he is while you use a spell to fill the bathtub with water. You gesture for him to go get in.
“You're going to watch me?”
You nod, remembering when you were younger, and Remus took you guys to the muggle pool, and he said the same phrase.
Remus had opened the door and guided you all into the area. "Alright, everyone find a chair."
Sirius takes a seat beside you, not a surprise to anyone.
You take the sunscreen from Lily, watching over her and James, making sure they don't slip as they run and jump into the pool.
"You need help getting your back?"
You glance over your shoulder and raise a brow. "Really?"
He raises his hands, letting out a long, "what? I'm offering my service, helping a fellow marauder out."
"As if."
He offers a mischievous smile before standing up.
Your eyes follow his movements.
"You're going to watch me?" He asks, reaching for the bottom of his shirt.
"I need-"
“I need to make sure you don't fall in.”
He nods, knowing what you were referring to.
“I can turn around while you-”
“No, no,” he shakes his head. “It's fine. I'm- it's fine.” He worries you won't want him anymore with how he looks now, nothing like his old self, he knows. He unties the makeshift tie he made and lets his pants fall.
You hold your breath, not wanting to cough as the dust and dirt flies up into the air around you.
He slowly undoes the buttons, wanting to prolong his unveiling as much as he can.
You huff and stand in front of him, shaking his hands off you as you do so. “Sirius,” one button done. “Orion,” another. “Black,” you release the front of his shirt, letting it rest against his chest. You cup his cheeks, “you have nothing to be ashamed of, do you hear me? I married you, not because of your looks, although it is a plus.”
The corner of his lips curve upwards, you know you've got him.
“I don't care if you are not as you were all those years ago because if you weren’t you wouldn't have come back to me. I am going to give you all the love and praise you deserve because you do, and I will help you. We will do this together because we are better together, remember?”
“You only said that so I wouldn't miss the game for that girl.”
“And we still won.”
“I won that game.”
“Did you now?” You remove his shirt, letting it fall to the floor with his pants, guiding him towards the bath.
“We both know I did.”
“I don't know,” you say coyly. “Tell me again, how you won the game?”
“I’ve never been one to brag-”
You scoff, helping him into the tub. “That’s all I knew you did, even before we became friends. James had to do a lot of persuading.”
“He did?”
You nod, grabbing the off your bathroom sink. “Oh yeah. It took him a while too. He knew I wasn’t going to budge but seeing the way you were with him and Moons, it may have helped with Prongs’ persuading.”
“I never knew that.”
You smile at the man, scooping a cup full of water, holding it up for him to get the hint.
He scoots forward.
“I told him not to tell you. Ever, or else I’d have him be my tester for new spells and… other things.”
He closes his eyes, enjoying the warmth of the water and your fingers running through his hair. “When was that?”
“When he realized I liked you.”
“How long before we actually became friends?”
You don’t answer.
“Little bird?”
A wistful sigh escapes you, thinking back to your younger years. “Not long.”
“So, you’re admitting I could have asked you out sooner.”
“No, definitely not. We met when we were supposed to.”
“Is that what you told him?”
“That’s what I believe.”
He opens his eyes and stares at you. “How did I get so lucky to find you?”
“James found you and took you in.”
“More stray jokes,” he mutters. “Very nice.”
“You always knew you were special, don’t act like you aren’t.” You grab the cup, “close your eyes and tilt your head back.” You forgot to put up the mental block, being this close to someone after so long; images of him being taken and left in that cell flash through your mind along with his laughter.
You gulp and finish taking care of him.
He sits on your perfectly made bed and stares at the floor.
You lean against the doorframe, taking him in. “Why did you come back?”
His head tilts up, tired eyes staring at you. “Huh?”
“Why did you come back?”
“Are you saying I’m not welcomed by my wife?”
“I’ve said no such thing since you’ve arrived,” you snarl at him. “I’m only asking because I know you and if you know who did anything to you, you’d get revenge like the time James took your hair products resulting in the Black frizz of 74’ and you turned his hair green for a month. So, I ask again, why are you here?”
He brushes his freshly cleaned hair out of his face. “I found him.”
“Found who?”
He slams his hands down on the bed sheets. “I found that rat!” His face scrunches in pain.
“What- are you okay?” You rush towards him.
“I’m- I’m fine,” he tries to reassure you.
“You are not fine.” You grab your wand, waving it around him. “Is that better?”
“What’d you do?”
You shrug, “something to ease your pain until we get to the kitchen.”
“You trying to seduce me, little bird?”
You pull him with you, keeping him behind you. “I don't need to do much to seduce you if I needed to.”
“Is that a fact?”
“It is, because I know you inside and out no matter how much you deny it.”
You gesture for him to sit down at the kitchen table while you riffle through your cabinets. “The others would say all I ever needed to do was so much as breathe in your direction.”
You turn, eyes widening upon the sight of your husband standing there, beside you. “Really?”
You nod before telling him to sit down. “I- I need space to prepare this for you.”
An amused smile dances across his lips. “Is that all you need me to do little bird?”
“It is, if you would just, please-”
“They told me the same thing.”
“About what?”
You move around him.
“They told me all I needed to do was look at you and you'd be at my feet, willing to do whatever I asked.”
You scoff, avoiding making eye contact with him, not wanting him to see the faint flush in your cheeks. “As if.”
"If that's the case," he places his arms on either side of you, caging you in against the counter, leaning closer to your ear. "Why are you so red?"
You huff and elbow him, "go sit."
He holds his abdomen and smiles at you, even though you aren't looking.
You shake your head and continue working on the potion, a sense of deja vu flooding through you, thinking back to the times when you'd help him make potions for Moons after you found out about his condition.
You and Remus share eye contact.
"You know?"
You hesitate to nod.
"And you're not scared?"
"I know you, I've seen the scars. You hurt yourself more to protect everyone." You place the bottle in his hands, "this is the least I could do to try and help you. I know it's not much but-"
"This means more than you could know."
You fight the urge to let out a wide smile, knowing what the others are planning. "I wouldn't say that just yet."
You shake your head and finish with the potion and start preparing the meal you were going to make before... the re-arrival of your husband.
“Drink this,” you place the potion beside his hand, followed by the plate of food. “Eat this after or else you’ll get nauseous. Eat what you can and don’t force it down.”
He nods, listening to your words with all he can until he notices there’s only one plate for him. “Where’s your plate?”
“Oh, I’m- uh- I’m not hungry.”
“Liar, I hear your stomach growling. Sit with me.”
“I have too much to do, I- you need your energy more than I need it. Please just, eat some and then I’ll sit with you once I’m done.”
“No,” he shakes his head, fighting you. “I have been locked away for twelve years,” he holds onto your arm, preventing you from walking away. “I barely got to speak to our godson, I- I need you.”
“Sirius-”
“No, please just- just eat with me and if things are too different, I’ll- I’ll leave.”
You place your hand on his, squeezing his hand once seeing the fear in his eyes. “I won’t, just let,” you take a breath, “let me make something for us to share for old time sakes, okay?”
He slowly nods his head.
You let go of his hand and wander back into the kitchen, riffling through the cabinets and your basket, only to find ingredients for your favorite bread you two would share all the time during your shared time at Hogwarts.
‘Guess I knew beforehand yet again.’
Once it’s done you pull it out of the oven and place it on the counter. “I made it the same way the elves did.”
“You got their recipe?”
You shrug, not wanting to admit the truth. “I cannot confirm nor deny your statement.”
“Never been one to say yes but I know, I know the truth, little bird.”
“That’s why we work so well together.” You place the bread in front of him. You stare at him, curious as to what is going on inside his head.
“It’s weird, isn’t it?”
“What is?”
“This is the first time we’ve been together since we lost them.”
“Yeah… I know.”
“Have you seen him?”
“Who?”
“Harry.”
You quiet down, “no.”
“He knows about you, about us.”
“He does?”
He nods, “and Moons condition.”
“Oh my- it was a full moon yesterday, wasn’t it? No wonder you’re in so much pain. Why didn’t you tell me?” You push yourself out of your chair, holding his head in your hands; you gulp at the sight of him running with Harry and then nothing. “Are you okay?”
“I'm fine, concerned about Moons... and you.”
You hold in a groan as you release him, offering a small smile. “You don’t need to worry about me, I’m a big girl. I can handle myself.”
“Just because you can,” he explains while holding your hand, “doesn’t mean you have to.”
“I know,” you tell him, trying not to get into a vaguely familiar talk with him. “And I’m not just saying that.”
“We should go see him tomorrow.”
You narrow your eyes at the man. “Do you not remember the fact that you escaped from prison and are now a wanted man because I’m sure that everyone within a fifteen-mile radius knows and will bring you right back to that cell.”
“They don’t know my animungus.”
“That doesn’t help your situation.”
“Who would know?”
“Me.”
“Other than you.”
“Harry? Moons?”
“One, the boy doesn’t know and two, Moony is a solid mate.” He explains, knowing you guys were always there, supporting him to no end.
“It’s dangerous.”
“When has it ever been safe?”
You scoff through your nose. “Are we seriously arguing over your life right now? You say you came back for me, but you keep throwing yourself into danger. How am I supposed to close my eyes and pretend like everything is okay when I don’t even know if you’ll be here the next day.”
“It’s to protect those I love.”
You clench your jaw, holding in your sobs. “What about-”
A tap on the door interrupts you. You can sense it’s Kit and open the door, letting the cat hop into your arms.
“Who’s that?”
“Kit.”
“Why do you have a cat?”
“I found him.”
He narrows his eyes at the feline. “Why is it here?”
“He’s been the only company I’ve had for the last few years.”
“He doesn’t seem to like me much,” he notes, due to the way the cat seems to glare at him.
“He senses your different but,” you lean down and whisper into the little cats' ears.
The furry creature seems to have calmed down a bit and stares at the man with wonder.
“It’s a boy and I merely told him you mean no harm.” You return to your place in front of him and continue to eat your meal.
He doesn’t plan on staying the night, not wanting to endanger you.
“I don’t know where you're going but please don’t leave me alone again.”
He smiles in return. “I’ll be back, I’ve never broken my promise, have I?”
You shake your head. “I don’t want to lose you again.”
“You won’t. I’m a man now.”
A mix of a sniffle, chuckle, and a cough escape you. “You’re barely a man.”
“I knew you’d remember.”
You tilt your head, “how can I forget? All of the memories we made were the only thing helping me through the loneliness.”
-
Previously: Part I // Continue to: Part III
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#harry potter#harry potter fanfic#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter imagines#harry potter imagine#sirius orion black#sirius black#sirius black x reader#sirius black fanfic#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black imagines#sirius black imagine#to build a happy home series#crazyk-imagine
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Running from the Daylight (Part 2 Final)
Regulus Black AU
Request: @iluvthe-marauders HI LOVELYYY, HAVENT HAD TUMBLR IN AGESSSSS. Dont know if you remember but i was the one who asked for different harry potter characters and wanted to ask if you'd do a regulus oneshot. where y/n is a halfblood (Remus’ sister) and they run away together?
Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader
Rating: T
Link to Part 1
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Remus and Sirius arrived back home after midnight to a quiet house. Sirius stood tapping his foot as Remus unlocked the door.
“I can’t believe you didn’t get me cotton candy.”
Remus rolled his eyes before opening the door.
“I can not help that the theater’s cotton candy machine was down. I promise we will go back next week and get you some.”
Sirius scoffed.
“I’ll take Y/n to a movie. She will get cotton candy too.”
Remus chuckled. He made a mental note to tell you that you needed to tell Sirius no more often. You treated him like some kind of pet, making Remus’ life difficult.
“You can be really annoying sometimes. You are aware of that, right?”
Remus said over his shoulder as he tossed his coat on the couch. Sirius was chuckling to himself as he moved to go get a beer out of the refrigerator.
“Yeah, but you love me so there.”
Remus smirked while shaking his head. He was not about to feed into Sirius’ foolishness (no matter how right he was on the subject). A small envelope on the coffee table caught Remus’ attention. It had both his and Sirius’ names on the front.
Frowning, Remus walked over and picked the envelope up. Right away, Remus noticed your handwriting.
“Is she leaving us love notes again?”
Sirius asked, coming back into the room while shoving popcorn into his mouth. Remus rolled his eyes.
“She’s probably begging me to marry you so you don’t go get lost some place.”
Sirius gave Remus a cold glare as his lover tore open the envelope.
“To Sirius and Remus, By the time the two of you read this, I will be out of contact. There have been many things that I have been hiding and it is time that the both of you know. I have been dating Regulus for a while. We are running away together. This is the only way that we can be together and no one have a problem with it. Remus, I know you of all people won’t be happy. You are my big brother and I love you but you need to let me make my own decisions. If I was honest and told you that I was dating Regulus, you would have flipped. Please know that I am not doing this to hurt you. I hope, in time, we can meet again and put this behind us. I beg you to take care of yourself and I love you. Sirius, I want you to know that you were right about Regulus. There is more to him than some cold member of the Black family. He isn’t a death eater and no longer “drinks the family koolaid.” He and I….we are what each other needs. Regulus is still your brother and he loves you. I hope to see the two of you sooner rather than later. I’m sorry but I have to go.
Love, Y/n.”
Remus stared at the letter with his mouth open. Sirius shoved a few more mouthfuls of popcorn in his mouth before realizing that Remus had gone dead silent.
“Moony, what…”
“Y/n ran off with Regulus!”
Sirius stood motionless. He tilted his head as if he was trying to process what his lover actually said. Did Sirius hear Remus right? You ran off with Regulus? Why would you run off with Regulus? Did you even know Regulus? Sirius had never witnessed the two of you speak to each other.
“Regulus? Like my brother Regulus?”
Remus ran a hand through his hair, fighting the urge to start jumping up and down.
“How many other guys named Regulus do you know?”
Sirius held his hands up defensively.
“Just my brother. Why would Y/n run off with Regulus? Do they even know each other apart from us?”
Remus handed Sirius the letter. Sirius frowned as he read the letter, his eyes widening with each word. While he wanted to panic that you jumped ship with his little brother in the middle of the war…he couldn’t. Sirius read your words to him about “being right about Regulus.” Regulus wasn’t a bad guy.
“Regulus is still my little brother, after all.”
Sirius smiled at the thought. His little brother…the real Regulus…the boy Sirius adored so much was still in there. Sirius also smiled at the thought of you being the one who gave him this information. You would be good for Regulus just as Remus was good for him. Sirius could live with that.
“Sirius, say something.”
Remus ordered, feeling on edge. He didn’t know what he was going to do but he needed to do something. Remus was nearly ready to go run about the neighborhood looking for you. Sirius took a breath before speaking.
“Remus, I need you to breathe, mate. Look, I didn’t know about this either. I have my concerns but…they are like us. Maybe Y/n is good for Reg. Let’s give them a chance. Let them come to us.”
Remus paced around quietly for a moment.
“She’s my sister, Sirius.”
Sirius nodded before moving to put a hand on the small of Remus’ back.
“She will always be your sister but for right now Y/n is what Regulus needs. Trust me.”
(two weeks later)
The sound of a tea kettle whistling woke you up from a sound sleep. Yawning, you reached over to Regulus’ side of the bed. His pillow was cold indicating that he had been up for some time. You stretched with a smile before slowly getting out of bed and looking out the window.
You would never get tired of the sight in front of you. Everything was peaceful. Waking up in a quaint little cottage with a field of wildflowers near a lake was your own personal heaven. From the moment that you arrived at the cottage life changed completely. You had gone from being stuck in the middle of a war with no idea how the future would play out to pure blissful peace.
The sound of a small bang in the kitchen tore you from your thoughts. Regulus muttering “son of a bitch” made you smile.
Regulus
That was another thing that you couldn’t help but smile about. In the course of two weeks, you had seen Regulus make a complete change. Now he was no longer the brooding moody young man who always looked mad at the world. He smiled more than you had ever seen him smile before. You noticed how much Regulus being happy reminded you of Sirius. Happy was exactly how you loved seeing Regulus.
Your mind went back to the morning that you arrived at the cottage…
“This place hasn’t changed since I was a child.”
Regulus commented as he sat his bag down. You were looking around the cottage with a pleased little smile on your face.
“It's lovely. I can see why your uncle bought that place.”
Regulus nodded as he started looking through the cabinets.
“As much as Alphard loved our family, he loved being in peace that much more. He saw the cracks and crazy in the Black family. Thank Merlin he saw a way out and away from it all.”
You turned to face Regulus as he took off his suit jacket and started rolling his sleeves up.
“Now we can have our peace.”
You replied as Regulus’ grey eyes rolled up your face.
“Yes, we can. We can have our happily ever after without this stupid war or whatever garbage is going on back in reality land. Maybe in time, Remus won’t hate me for conning you into running away with me.”
You moved to wrap your arms around Regulus’ neck.
“You didn’t do any conning. I wanted to leave as much as you did. I’m not brave like my brother and friends. I don’t want to be involved in some war where people I love on both sides die.”
Regulus frowned before wrapping an around your waist.
“You are braver than you know. You left everything behind for some boy who never deserved a moment of your grace and love.”
“The boy who deserved all of the grace and love.”
You countered with a smile. Regulus leaned his forehead against yours. He didn’t know that you saw the happy smile on his face…but you did.
“Well..if you say so. You know, we’ve never had the opportunity to dance together.”
You couldn’t help the chuckle as Regulus slowly began to move with you in his arms.
“We’ve never had the opportunity.”
Regulus nodded.
“Now we do. Every day…anytime that you want.”
The bedroom door opening pulled you from your thoughts. Regulus stepped in with a small smile on his face.
“Sorry, I didn’t wake you…did I?”
You shook your head before moving to snuggle back into your boyfriend’s waiting arms.
“No…I heard you fighting with the stove.”
Regulus rolled his eyes.
“That damned thing is a menace. We might have to invest in a new one before I catch that one on fire. I see why Kreacher hated our stove at Grimmauld Place now.”
Regulus didn’t have to say it for you to know that he missed Kreacher. That was the only part of his family that he missed.
“We can get a new one whenever you want or you can let me do the cooking. I admire you for trying but I was born to cook on shitty stoves.”
Regulus rolled his eyes before looking back at the bed.
“You haven’t made the bed yet.”
You nodded.
“I just got out of it.”
Regulus reached out to gently push the strap of your nightgown off of your shoulder.
“We can mess it up a little more before you make it up…for the day.”
Wrapping your arm around his shoulders, you stood on your tiptoes kissing Regulus slowly.
“I love that idea.”
Right as things were starting to get heated there was a loud knock at the door. Regulus pulled away as you reached for your silk robe.
“Who the hell is that? We don’t have friends. That is the problem with visitors. They always come visiting.”
You grabbed your wand and followed Regulus down the stairs. Part of you was wondering if it was the friendly widow who lived down the road a bit. The other part worried that it was some member of the Black family to attempt to drag Regulus home.
“Do you have your wand?”
Regulus whispered.
“Armed and ready to go.”
You replied as Regulus moved to the front door. He was ready to hex whoever the hell it was to kingdom come and back.
The moment that he opened it, Regulus was shocked to see Sirius on the other side. Sirius stood holding what looked like a geranium in a tacky ceramic pot while Remus stood behind him looking super uncomfortable.
Regulus tilted his head to the side while you came to join him at the door. You were clearly as surprised as Regulus was.
“Hello?”
Regulus managed to get out while Sirius smiled.
“Hello, happy couple…I brought you a plant.”
Sirius held out the geranium to his younger brother with a grin. Regulus slowly took the flower with an uncomfortable expression.
“Um, thanks. How did you two find us?”
Sirius glanced over his shoulder praying that Remus had listened to that whole “be nice and don’t strangle him” talk.
“Can we come in?”
You moved aside as did Regulus. Sirius and Remus walked in closing the door behind them.
“Did you two steal this from the old woman down the street? I saw her potting this plant last week.”
Regulus commented before sitting the geranium down. Sirius shrugged.
“She won’t miss it. So….here we are and here you are.”
Regulus nodded, sitting down.
“Yes. Here we are. Again, how did you find us?”
Sirius grinned.
“Uncle Alphard told me after I wrote him.”
“How long?”
Remus finally commented. Both Regulus and yourself turned to face your older brother. You could see the unease in Remus’ eyes. How he was remaining calm was a mystery.
You placed a hand on Regulus’ shoulder before speaking to Remus directly.
“Two years.”
“Two years!!?? The two of you have been dating for two years and no one said a word. Y/n, this is big. You could have married this man by now…wait, you two aren’t married are you?”
Regulus raised an eyebrow before holding up your hand that had a diamond ring on it.
“Not yet but we will be. This is exactly why we didn’t tell you, Lupin. You are spazzing out and acting ridiculous. Family reactions are the reason why we didn’t say anything. My family would never accept Y/n and would potentially hurt her. You are…well…you are acting as I expected.”
Remus went instantly silent before muttering “fuck me” under his breath. He took a few deep breaths before speaking. Looking at your face, Remus stared at you hard for a few moments. No longer were you the little girl that chased after him always wanting to be part of her big brother’s activities. Now you were a grown woman with a life of her own…a grown woman who deserved to have the life that she wanted.
Regulus was busy watching Remus hoping the other man didn’t burst into a fit of tears. He was not ready to deal with that!
“I apologize…to both of you. You have to understand that is my only family left, Regulus. Outside of Sirius, Y/n has been my forever friend. It hurts knowing that both of you felt this was the only option…but I understand. I was wrong to judge your happiness. Y/n, is this what you want?”
You squeezed Regulus’ shoulder.
“It is, Remus. I love Regulus very much. He’s very good to me and I’m happy. I know you are worried but I want you to be happy for me. I found my person must like you found yours….your plant stealing person.”
Sirius giggled. Remus stared at Sirius before shaking his head.
“Yeah, my plant-stealing person. Fine, if you two are happy then I’m happy for you. Regulus, please take care of her.”
Regulus reached up to squeeze your hand that was resting on his shoulder.
“I would die for her.”
Sirius stood up clapping his hands together before going off in search of breakfast.
“Now that is out of the way…who is going to feed me breakfast? You two should have seen the mad dash we made to get here.”
_____
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#Regulus Black#Regulus Black x Reader#Reader x Regulus Black#Regulus Black au#Regulus Black imagine#timothee chalamet as regulus black#ben barnes as sirius black#andrew garfield as remus lupin#sirius black#remus lupin#sirius x remus#wolfstar#regulus x reader#reader x regulus#regulus black series#the ancient and most noble house of black#regulus arcturus black#sirius orion black#walburga black#orion black#alphard black#hp#hp marauders#marauders au#harry potter marauders#marauders post hogwarts#HP AU story#Regulus Black AU#Running from the Daylight#Running from the Daylight part two
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Marauders reactions to The Prank
(I was asked for my thoughts, so here you are! I’m basing this off canon, not the more fanon based characterisation of the marauders, especially Remus!)
Remus
Angry at Snape for being a dick and trying to expose his secret, to get him expelled (or worse?!) and his friends in huge trouble too.
Can’t express his anger at Snape because the git now knows his secret and could expose him, which is a terrible situation to find yourself - beholden to your enemy who may ruin your life on a whim (even more aggravating that Remus wasn’t even the one antagonising Snape - that was James & Sirius - and I mean it was mutual, not one sided - it was Marauders versus Snape & the Mini Death Eaters: yes Snape canonically HAD friends who were into the dark arts etc etc; v unlikely Remus got involved as he was too busy trying to blend in and avoid getting into trouble - canonically he was the good boy who “got the badge” - and trying hard to avoid being noticed as a dark creature himself - his words not mine)
Realises Dumbledore has somehow managed to get Snape to keep his mouth shut (why? Who knows: in case he’d be in trouble for allowing a werewolf into Hogwarts, or to make Remus even more beholden to the Headmaster, turn him into Dumbledore’s man, through and through? How? He probably knew Snape’s dirty little secrets, his proclivity for the dark arts, details about illegal unsavoury company - blackmail). This over time eases his worry.
Sirius - he’s very hurt unimpressed with Sirius for telling Snape how to get past the Willow. He gets that, as James put it, only a complete fool would try to get into a shack with a werewolf on a full moon, but turns out Snape is that stupid/that vengeful (take your pick). His way of dealing with this hurt is to stop hanging out with the others. I headcanon this happened quite close to summer holidays (actually think that’s canon), so he goes home and ignores all owls/letters from the marauders. I think Lily does write to him and that’s where the film line “your mother was there for me at a time when bla bla” originates from.
He manages this avoidance as a favourite coping strategy (he does this a lot - for example he avoids trying to find Harry for years due to his stupid ideas about himself being too poor too dangerous yada yada; he avoids telling Dumbledore Sirius is an Animagus because *insert your pick: his “pathetic” love of Sirius/ his promise to never reveal their secret etc*; he avoids trying to keep in touch with Harry after he is sacked from his post as professor (thanks Snape); he avoids dealing with the scariness of being a werewolf dad in the middle of a war by running away from his responsibilities; he tells Harry he “always managed to forget my guilty feelings” when planning another escapade with his friends in the Forbidden Forest or town for the next full moon etc etc, you get me?)
That’s not to say when he comes to the next morning and finds out what happened, he might not in the heat of the moment let the mask slip for a second and scream his hurt at Sirius or even punch him once - his very careful/ always in control/mild mannered persona disappearing momentarily when he’s emotionally dysregulated after such a stressful event. But it’s back in place quickly.
He refuses to respond to James’ attempts to contact him that summer because he’s frankly sick of James having everything/being the Golden Boy (saving Snape from the evil monster aka Remus J Lupin; being great at everything you could imagine - sports, academics, flirting - omg he’s useless but Remus doesn’t see it because he thinks James is wonderful). It’s small-minded and pathetic and unfair and petty and embarrassing and horrible - his words - but he can’t help it.
He refuses to talk to Peter that summer too cause that’d be unfair to him - it would put him in the unenviable position of choosing between him and the other two. Because of course James will always choose Sirius… Peter doesn’t try to contact him though, so that’s easy enough.
He eventually makes up with James when they are back in school because James is impossible to ignore when he’s on a mission and impossible to stay angry at (obviously Peter immediately follows) and then lastly Sirius. Details in canon fics…
Afterwards? Well, if James and the others can call his horrific lycanthropy a “furry little problem”, he can refer to that horrible incident as a silly little prank, can’t he? It’s nothing. It didn’t really bother him. It’s totally fine. It was funny actually. No, really. Ha ha ha ha. Can we stop talking about it now, please?
[My version of the prank and the canon marauders story afterwards including Halloween 1981 and what actually happened, in case anyone is interested]
#headcanons#the prank#I love how complicated Remus is#Remus Lupin#marauders#Remus Lupin headcanons#the prank headcanons#I love this stuff 😂😂!#Sirius and James versions to follow
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Lily and James surviving the war and moving to the countryside with Harry.
Their only human contact for months after the war is solely Remus, Sirius and Mary. Nobody knows where they are except them, like a second hiding but they are just living their muggle lives until they heal enough.
They buy a farm with big lands around it, because they want Harry to grow among animals and nature, as freely as possible, and also a space for Remus to transform securely, roaming around with Padfoot and Prongs.
They don't talk about Peter. Never. But they always notice the empty chair at the dinner table, the half-jokes that don't land as before. It's too heavy.
Lily starts studying again. Potions. And James takes care of their house, of Harry, of the animals. And of her. Silently and constantly. So they can heal.
And little by little, they rebuild their lives.
#marauders fandom#marauders tumblr#harry potter fandom#marauders#marauders fanfiction#harry potter fanfiction#lily evans#james potter#harry potter#sirius black#remus lupin#jily#james x lily#lily x james#flowerpott#the marauders#marauders era
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Hi :) Do you have Drarry recs that center around wedding planing? You know the whole, family butting in, cake delivery fail, couple stressing themself out and having to remember that this day is just for them <3 etc
Hi anon! Now I think about it I’ve seen more fics where they’re planning their kids’ wedding 😂 but here are some recs for you:
Thorny Business by playout and PrinnPrick (T, 2.3k)
With their wedding just around the corner and Draco running their vendors off with his ill temper and unreasonable demands, Harry sends his fiancé to warmer climes to prevent him from continuing to meddle. Unfortunately, the resourceful Slytherin still has access to owls...
stay awhile (stay here with me) by panicparade (T, 3k)
"Then when?" Harry tries again. He's not sure if he really wants to see the photo or if he just wants to keep talking to Malfoy. This Malfoy, who is so different from what he was expecting. In his Muggle jeans and smartly pressed sweater, with an air of vulnerability around him that Harry isn't used to seeing, Malfoy looks approachable in a way he never has before. Harry stops his fidgeting as Malfoy looks up to meet his eyes. Through the hum of the crowded pub, he has to strain a little to hear him. "Maybe," Malfoy starts, hesitating a little but never breaking eye contact, "one day?"
Archaic Enemies and Royal Weddings by @xx-thedarklord-xx (T, 6.5k)
It was the wedding of the century, talk of the town and the gossip in the papers. Only it was born out of revenge when Draco refused to marry any of Lucius’ suitors, and his father invokes an ancient and archaic law forcing him to marry his enemy. There’s nothing he can do to change it, but does he really want to try?
I'll Be Loving You (Always) by @phdmama (T, 10k)
“When are you going to make an honest man of Draco?” Harry chokes on his wine and hastily sets down the glass, making sure not to let it slosh over the rim. “I beg your pardon?” he asks once he gets his coughing under control, wiping his eyes with his napkin. Ron snickers and Harry glares at him.
My Big Fat Pureblood Wedding by QueenyMidas (E, 177k)
Chaos ensues after Harry proposes to Draco on their three-year anniversary. The two must plan a wedding around their fighting friends, warring families, and each other's stubbornness. EWE, post-war, disregarding Remus, Sirius, and Colin's deaths and the fact that gay marriage is not legal in the UK.
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I think it's very funny that Remus didn't contact Harry at all before POA, and then during POA he never told Harry that he knew his parents or knew Harry as a baby, and then he never reached out to Harry during GOF, and he also never reached out to Harry after Sirius died, but then in DH he's like "oh Harry I must go with you, it's what James would have wanted!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Like my man, you never cared about what James wanted before! Why are you starting now!
#i think james would probably have wanted you checking in on his son at some point in the past 16 years#but okay remus
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