#that reminds me i really need to set up an abt me post lol.....

[guiiay]

I'm loving your art. You say it's mostly reposting so is there an older blog with more? It's just the first time I see you in ny dash.

nope, I'm just posting older stuff from my other socials! it's the same @ on twitter and instagram :)

[urrockstar-xe]

movie nights n pretty girls - c.m.m x fem!reader

posted dec 7th, 2023 5:25 pm

@popeheywardssecretgf asked: helloo, could u do a Chad Meeks Martin fluff where fem!reader goes to Mindy and Chad’s house to see Mindy (beacuse they were bestfriends friends before her and Chad started dating) and Chad’s just kinda like wtf she’s my girlfriend Mindy~ tyy!! (love your writing btw)

okay he's a little less jealous-y and i am so fucking sorry for the wait wow i really hope u enjoy, i think its pretty cute, thank u for ur patience xx

summary: Mindy needs to tell reader all abt her date and chad gets sidelined use of y/n, a lot of platonic!mindy x reader, not a lot of romantic!chad x reader :/ mentions of mindy getting laid lol

masterlist

wordcount: 1.2k

“Y/n!” Mindy’s voice rang through your ears as the familiar front door of the Meeks-Martin household opened. “Hey, Mindy” You responded with a smile, backpack slung over one shoulder but quickly being slid down her arm as Mindy practically pulled you inside.

“So, you remember that girl I said asked me out?” “yeah, Ivy right?” Mindy’s face lit up at the name which verified your guess was correct. You listened with a smile as your best friend rambled on with details of the date as she mindlessly pulled snacks out of the pantry for your sleepover. You set your bag on one of the chairs at the table before leaning against the counter and taking one of the chip bags from Mindy. 

By the time Chad had gotten to the kitchen, Mindy’s arms were full, and her rant about the pretty girl was far from over, so Chad took it upon himself to carefully maneuver his way throughout the room to not get in his sister’s way before slinking his arms around your waist and hugging you in one swift movement. Mumbling a “hi” into your hair and pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before moving away from you and to the fridge, leaving you suddenly cold. 

You smiled, setting the bag of chips on the table by your backpack and crossing your arms, “so wait, did you kiss her or-“ Mindy cut off your question with harsh shushes, earning a laugh in return, “you need the full rundown before I tell you the best details”

“So she did kiss her” Chad answered, deciding the fridge was boring before grabbing a water bottle and closing the door, taking your previous place against the counter. 

You laughed as Mindy glared at her brother before she threw a majority of the snacks into a reusable bag from the grocery store, holding the few that didn’t fit in the bag in her hands. 

“Come, sweet Y/n, I’ll finish the story while we set up for our movie” Mindy announced, pointing at you while she picked up the bag and started for the living room. “Hey, so what are we watching?” Chad asked as the two of you followed Mindy. 

“Y/n/n and I will be watching Silence of the Lambs, you will be butting out of our movie night” Mindy responded matter of factly, ignoring the sympathetic smile you shot Chad as she abandoned all snacks on the coffee table. 

Chad scoffed, “You know she’s my girlfriend right? not yours?” Chad asked sarcastically, “Yeah, only after you stole her from me” Mindy scoffed back, accidentally reminding you about the fact they were twins as you watched the encounter, setting up the couch. “Y/n?” Chad said, getting your full attention, those brown. puppy eyes just waiting to work their magic on you. 

“No! Nuh-uh! don’t put her in that weird trance you do!” Mindy snapped her fingers in front of her brother’s face, causing you to laugh once more before slapping your hand over your mouth to stop it. “We have our date tomorrow night! think you can last till then?” You asked, smiling at Chad, watching as he rolled his eyes and took one of the bags of chips from the snack bag. “I’ll be waiting for you when you inevitably get bored of hearing about Ivy, babe,” Chad said pointing at you in a similar way to how Mindy did a few moments earlier before he turned around and started for the stairs, not missing the way Mindy called him an asshole as he flipped her off without turning back.

A few hours had passed now as you cleaned up the empty soda cans and a few beer bottles from the table when Mindy’s phone lit up with a text, initially you both ignored it, laughing at some dumb comment you had made about Hannibal Lecter as Mindy tied the trash bag and set it on the floor. It lit up a few more times this time catching your attention, “Tara maybe?” you asked with a shrug, Mindy mirrored your action before picking up her phone. “Oh my god it’s Ivy” she smiled, her face lighting up from the light on the screen. “What’s she saying?” You smiled, picking up the empty popcorn bowl. “Oh,” Mindy’s smile dropped before she shoved her phone into her back pocket, picking up the bag of trash. “She just wanted me to come over,” She shrugged, following you into the kitchen so you could put the bowl in the sink. “Told her I can’t, too busy with my Y/n,” she said teasingly, smiling at you as you scoffed. “You should go, movie’s over, it beats studying til we pass out,” You said with another shrug, “you’re sure you’re okay with it? I’m not gonna ditch you for a girl," 

"not ditching if I told you to go, it’s just for tonight! Maybe next movie night it’ll be a group thing” you teased, smiling at your friend as she let a toothy grin fall over her lips. 

“Okay, but only if you’ll still be here when I get back,” Mindy said, “let's go take this trash out and then I’ll go,” She smiled once more, practically skipping as you two went out the backdoor to the trash can. 

You were met back in the kitchen with Chad, cleaning your popcorn bowl as Mindy ran past him to get upstairs and find a different jacket. Making your way over to him silently, you laid your head on his arm as he turned off the water and shook his hands carefully to not splash you before reaching with his free arm for the rag and drying his hands. “Where you guys going?” he asked, tilting his head towards you. “Mindy got invited to Ivy’s, I told her to go” you responded, moving to look at his face properly. 

He smirked that half smile he always does before turning fully and pulling into his hoodie-covered chest, earning a laugh as he did so. “So, that means it’ll just be us?” 

“at least till she gets back, yes” You responded through a muffled laugh.

“Later losers! I’m getting laid!” Mindy called to you both as she rushed back down the stairs, as if on cue all three of you called out I love you at the same time before the door opened and swiftly shut. 

“Just me and you” Chad sighed in content, “now what?” you asked in response, leaning back just enough to look at his face, but quickly moved back into him for a kiss this time, a quiet hmph being heard as your lips hit his but seamlessly falling in tune with his movements. 

“I missed you” he mumbled into your hair after pulling back and hugging you once more, “ you saw me at school earlier” you laughed.

“That was forever ago,” he said through laughs. 

“I missed you too, let's go watch a movie,” you said, pulling away completely and taking his hand, leading him to the couch littered with blankets and pillows. 

Chad spoke once more as you landed on the couch, “Can we watch the Mario movie?”

[eggsyondaside24]

Career headcanons

By that I mean how careers came to be, their culture surrounding the Hunger Games, and how reapings work. The career districts are my favorite part of the Hunger Games world, so I got a lot of ideas abt it lol. So in preparation of me posting my career pack ocs, here’s a bit of context to the shit they grew up in.

History The idea of careers came from a kid from District 2 named Theseus (I’m not a Greek mythology expert, I just heard about the minotaur and Theseus myth in ancient history class and was like “mmm yess that reminds me of a Hunger Games OC”). He was the son of a former rebel and secretly trained him just in case he was ever reaped. When the President announced the 1st Quarter Quell and its rules, he campaigned to be a tribute to save those who would otherwise not stand a chance in the arena. He won the vote and ended up winning the Hunger Games.

Inspired by his own upbringing, he began doing the same with kids from his districts. Ofc he wasn’t stupid enough to do it behind his back because he knew the Capitol would kill him and everyone involved, so he sought permission. The government was like “ya okay but only if those kids become peacekeepers after they’re past reaping-age because we desperately need peacekeepers :(” He agreed and created the first career academy with funding from the Capitol. Ik Career Academies are a little controversial and aren’t canon in the books, but shut up let me worldbuild in peace. Career academies were spread to Districts 1 and 4 due to their own victors setting up their own schools.

Theseus spread his altruistic philosophy to his students, urging kids who were strong enough to volunteer for the games to protect the weak and poor. It became a really popular sentiment, especially with the victory of Alexandria, a district 2 victor of the 29th games, who worked with Theseus and volunteered to protect a disabled girl from being reaped.

However, Theseus’s beliefs became absolutely corrupted and bastardized throughout the years. The Capitol was enjoying the good influx of peacekeepers in their force, and the Capitol audience was really enjoying the entertainment brought on by overzealous or honorable wannabe heroes that came out of the academies. The whole thing would also cause division among the districts. Non-career districts felt like career districts were cheating, and career tributes from different districts were very competitive against each other. To encourage more peacekeepers and interesting tributes coming in, they began putting out propaganda that portrayed Theseus and Alexandria as these badass heroes kids should strive to become. It didn’t help that Alexandria would spread the same “volunteering is totally rad yall should totes do it too” thing. 

They would glorify the hunger games, desensitize kids from violence, and put a lot of importance on physical strength and being the best—which leads to unathletic and disabled people being looked down upon. This all shaped countless kids to be bullies at best and pretty psychopathic at worst. 

Theseus obviously didn’t like where any of this was going. He still held onto the values his rebel father instilled in him, so seeing the districts be so divided and kids gleefully murdering each other pissed him off. He tried to counter it by trying to spread a pasifistic message, but kindness and empathy were so dark days ago, so nobody really took him seriously. Deeply ashamed with how his ideas were bastardized by the Capitol, he committed suicide around the time before the 2nd QQ.

The Capitol wasn’t done shitting all over Theseus’s ideas, though. They used his legacy to further their own agendas, like spreading propaganda that he was pro-Capitol and all.

At some point, the Capitol felt like they gave the career districts way too much control over themselves. The Hunger Games were literally made to punish the districts through child murder (aka one of the most vulnerable people they got), but they just kept sending the best of the best to the games. So the Capitol banned the traditional way of volunteering in the career districts all together, replacing it with a more random system of reaping instead (which I’ll get into later). That way the districts weren’t in complete control but had enough to not cause an entire rebellion again.

My headcanon(s) for volunteering in career districts Volunteering works differently in career districts, as it doesn't disqualify everyone who doesn't volunteer from the Hunger Games. It only increases the volunteer's odds of getting reaped. Volunteers aren't allowed to take out tesserae, and those who do can only take out a limited amount. If someone wants to take more, they’d probably have to do more work or smth idk

So right after the Hunger Games, the Justice Building would open sign-ups for kids who wanted to volunteer. Only kids who would be 15-18 by the time of the next reaping are allowed to volunteer, and they’re required to bring documents proving their age, physical health, and approval from their legal guardian. A recommendation letter also gives a kid extra entries, and a sign-up is worth more entries the older a volunteer is.

After that, they’re able to get more entries via a sort of point system. Community service, high performance in training, winning tournaments, etc. gives kids a certain amount of points that they can exchange for more entries. Parents can buy more entries if they’re rich enough, but it costs a fortune, and and buying your way into the games is seen as dishonorable.

Career culture and how it differentiates between districts Generally, career culture values strength, success, and honor. These are core principles that careers live by and strive to embody… but to an extremely unhinged degree. First off, it's common for careers equate physical strength to overall worth. If you’re unathletic or disabled, you might as well be a pile of dead clams. Success in careers means getting reaped for the games, and the pinnacle of making it in life is winning it. Even if you die, you’ll be seen as a martyr. However, not everyone is automatically a hero for being in the games. Careers have a code of honor they have to follow unless you wanna be seen as a cheater. For example, betraying your allies is a huge taboo and will always get you hated. The only time it’s acceptable is when you and your allies mutually agree to break it off. There’s also a sense of honor and “patriotism” being a tribute/victor because their presence in the games is saving a more vulnerable kid to be killed in the games and making your district richer through the rewards the Capitol brings when they get a victor.

Because these values are so valued, anyone who doesn’t fit or wants to fit into them is looked down upon by careers. Like I said, even though their whole thing came from wanting to protect the vulnerable, career kids look down on unathletic, or worse, disabled people because they’re weak. People who have no interest in being careers or volunteering for the games are treated worse because they willingly avoid being careers while disabled people “have an excuse.” There is literally an insult for ppl who dont want to volunteer (conchie, as in conscientious objector. Yes that’s a WW1 reference. what are you gonna do about it). And it’s absolutely bonkers how cruel they can be to anyone who doesn’t fit into this mold. Like kids can be driven to suicide just because they don’t want to volunteer. So with the huge pressure to conform, vulnerable people end up getting hurt or roped into the games anyway to avoid getting ostracized by their peers.

The most messed up part about this whole thing is that the Capitol and people running the Academies purposely designed a culture like this. They know that putting so much importance on these values is harmful for kids, even those who are considered the perfect career. But do they care? NAH. Academies bring a lot of money, peacekeepers, and entertainment for the Capitol. And as long as they keep a good stream of all 3 of those, they’re not stopping any time soon.

An example of this happening are entry tokens. Kids are given tokens equating to the numbers of entries they have. This gives kids physical evidence of how many entries they have and, in a deeper sense, how dedicated they are to having good careers. They literally have like a panem-equivalent of Claire’s where you can put tokens on fashion accessories so you can serve cunt while showing off how much you’re dedicated for your district. As a result, more pressure is given to rack up as many tokens as you can get, sometimes just so you can prove how much of a good career you are.

Inspirations An inspiration for career culture is actually the whole enlistment craze at the start of WW1 and the disenchantment that follows them when they finally end up in the trenches. I was endlessly fascinated by it (no thanks to All Quiet on the Western Front) and used a bit of my knowledge on it in here.

Theseus was hugely inspired by Penelope Scott's song "American Healthcare" which is about a man who became a doctor for good intentions only to discover the shittiness of the Healthcare System in the US and feels a sense of guilt for working for it. If you haven't listened to the song, I beg of you, DROP EVERYTHING AND LISTEN TO IT RIGHT NOW IT'S REALLY FUCKING GOOD.

He was also inspired by the Black Mirror episode "15 million merits". I don't wanna spoil anything in case anyone reading hasn't seen it, but I took a lot of inspo from the message of corporations taking something meaningful and watering down/bastardizing it for profit and applied it to Theseus.

Alr yap sesh over I'm gonna do my homework byeeee

[wheresmymilliondollarman]

heyyyy🫶🫶 for something quick, do you have any hc of certain AUs for warner? also good luck with prom dress shopping!!💗💗

-🪷

omg hi 🪷!! thank u for the luck i need it cus im sewing some of it and im still a beginner LOLL

for au’s i do have a few that have crossed my mind recently, im sure i can do more that this if i put my mind to it

so i had this idea i scrapped before i even wrote the ferrars! reader hcs and basically its a tangled inspired au (ik super ironic bc kenji is the one tangled obsessed)

reader was hidden away at a young age because of her powers and the restablishment uses them to control the word (like how they utilized emmaline basically) so you live in this secluded tower away from sector 45

so aaron is finds you accidentally when he’s on a mission and he gets separated from his soldiers for a bit and sees the tower

then he climbs up and scares you so you hit him with a pan (LOL) and then you explain that you lived there forever but leave out your gift

aaron reintroduces you to the world and secretly keeps you at the base to hide you from his father (once he learns about what you can do)

then for your birthday he takes you to a festival thing but then your both caught by aarons dad

the rest isnt that planned out but rough synopsis of my idea

and then i often think more abt aaron and reader in present times like

imagine reader and aaron going to the met gala (aaron is ur stylist no one tell me otherwise)

or just any red carpet event, you both tend to match

paparazzi pics of you both

being rumored to break up every week or “cheating” scandals

you both arent really into social media but both def have a pinterest / instagram / maybe twitter

your instagram feed is just pictures of aaron, places, and friends and occasionally yourself

aaron’s feed is literally only pictures of you. he posts like once or twice a month. but his stories are active because he likes to post his outfits or yours.

if you post on any media platform aaron is ALWAYS the first to like & comment no matter what

people constantly asking aaron if he can fight (he always responds he can)

kenji’s the type to make u both participate in tiktoks or prank u with current trends

also you have a group chat with juliette, kenji, nazeera, and adam (he was added by accident but then stayed there)

aaron sends you random pictures of things that reminds him of you. anytime your not tigether he’s going to message you a bunch.

sugar daddy! aaron warner is literally the dream. this one is set in modern era

you are a college student struggling financially, and if you dont get money for tuition you can go to school/will be kicked out. your parents kicked you out for following your own dream, so you have no one to turn to

aaron is a ceo, happens to find you at your job as a barista. he immediately thinks tour the most beautiful person ever and wants to know you. so he shows up almost everyday to the place even though its out of his way to work.

you two get to know each other a bit and you let your financial situation slip out, so aaron offers you money, but you decline and such.

you think thats it, but then you later get an email to let you know your tuition is covered.

you feel bad and offer aaron anything to let ypu repay him in some way, so he bargains that you let him take you to places and basically date him.

so that starts your arrangement.

buys you quite literally anything — even if you dont say you want it. if you glance at it in a store, you’ll see it on your bed the next day.

you even get to move into his apartment because he hates the idea of you in those ugly small dorms, and i’ll be easier for you both to see each other. (he’s clingy)

you go with him at any event, he literally never went to any before he started seeing you now he wants to take you everywhere in pretty dresses

even when your officially dating he won’t stop buying you things, if anything it doubles.

this ones dark so TW but with the the hype of the scream movies going around it got me imagining ghostface! aaron warner working with ghost face! kenji (i imagine this set in the 90s type era bc 1st scream is so iconic)

in this au aaron’s abusive childhood enabled him to have psychopathic tendencies so he starts off with random killings then later gets into the ghostface thing after wanting to get revenge on juliette for cheating on him with adam.

aaron enlists kenji because kenji’s the one that figure out it was him, but he’s doesn’t want him to turn aaron in, he wants to help. but kenji is kind of easy to manipulate so aaron is the master mind.

aaron makes the calls and kenji does most of the killing.

aaron and you are already dating when the killings start happening

you were originally meant to be killed bc you’re bffs with juliette but then aaron fell in love with you so now he protects you (#couplegoals)

if anyone messes with you or a guy gets too close with you, they’re gone. if a person is involved with you then aaron is likely to kill, especially if he already doesn’t like them

adam is the first to go (LMAOO), then its brendan, ian, nazeera (queen was a fighter im sorry

your so oblivious to it all and very scared that ghostface going after you next. and aaron thinks that’s so cute. so much that he calls your house as ghostface just so you can call him all scared and run into his arms for protection.

and if you somehow figure it out he’s just going to kidnap you and lock you somewhere you can’t escape and leave him <3 (i’m insane for wanting that)

[kny-agere]

Little! Douma & Cg! Kotoha

Breastfeeding headcanons

★彡☆彡★彡

Putting this disclaimer at the top to remind everyone that this is completely nonsexual! I’ll be keeping a close eye on this post so don’t try anything gross. I wanna try and get comfortable writing stuff like this so I hope it goes well :)

★彡☆彡★彡

- Ok well obviously Kotoha has a baby Inosuke that she has to take care of

- Not that Douma isn’t aware of breastfeeding before this but since he has specific interest in Kotoha he pays more attention than before

- Kotoha is really patient w/ all his questions even though most of them are really stupid

- “Doesn’t that hurt you?”

- (She’d say no but Inosuke is definitely a biter </3)

- In a commune like that she’d be pretty comfortable breastfeeding openly but they have plenty of random side rooms to sit in too

- She’s not really shy about doing in front of Douma either

- I’d imagine he actually gets close by noticing her massaging her sore chest while trying to fix a clogged milk duct

- At first he probably thinks it’ll lead to something else

- But Kotoha doesn’t really think about that because she’s so set on doing this properly

- She’d cradle his head and have him kinda sit in her lap even though she’s half his size

- Douma is really careful about his teeth but even thinking abt it makes me scared ;-;

- Still before he can even think of doing anything the man is caught up in the gentle rhythm of suckling and the strange taste of breastmilk

- (His own mother had a nanny take care of him, meaning that even as a baby he wasn’t breastfeed)

- Kotoha hums a song for him while rocking gently

- She’s just so used to doing this with Inosuke that her brain doesn’t quite register the difference in the sitation

- Douma doesn’t need to sleep but he often does anyways

- But this is the first time he’s felt actually tired

- He’s happy to curl up in Kotoha’s hold and drift off with his lips still wrapped around her breast

- Douma probably gets a bit of milk on his chin without realizing lol >_<

[izzy-b-hands]

So. I'm allowing myself a vent post or two abt Stuff in the Brain today that won't fuck off, but it'll all be under a cut if I feel I'm at risk of being too wordy so folks don't gotta see this if they don't wanna. And on this one I did get wordy, multi-paragraphs so. fair warning if u decide to be brave and read thru it lol

I'm behind on getting Mum a bday gift. Like two weeks behind. Partially bc money, partially bc the thing I really wanted to get her involves bidding on ebay and attempting to win a listing (and I just haven't managed it yet lmao), and partially bc like:

For once I've been living my life for me, thinking abt me and Housemate first and foremost, and focusing on what I actually want/need from day to day, and that means I'm away from my phone a bit more than usual, which means I've missed some calls and texts from Mum and just haven't been as Available via phone/apps/etc as I've been in the past

(including one time in the last week or so where Housemate and I stepped aside to the kitchen to make ourselves mac n cheese, and Mum was late to calling me for a planned call, so I figured I was safe to leave the phone by the couch while we cooked. Nope! In that less than half hour, 25 mins at most that it took us to finish mac and get plated up, she figured we'd both A. fallen down the stairs and were now dying from brain bleeds while the cats sniffed us in panic and fear B. decided to cut her out of my life forever and so now I wasn't going to be answering her calls (tho this point I didn't know until a much more recent text where she admitted to it and did say she was ashamed of feeling that way.) )

So I really need to get something out to her, either the chocolates I was planning on sending for her and the family from a local shop, the Snoopy Build-A-Bear plushie with a lil 'I miss you' tshirt and a voice thingy inside it with me telling her to remember that I love her and am always grateful for her help and care and things like that, whatever will fit lol (this is the fucker that triggered this whole train crash of a set of thoughts today lmao), and/or something from one of the ebay listings I've been trying to get (I just need to accept it and pay the buy it now price considering what the thing is isn't like. Uber rare? But apparently Bon Jovi doesn't have their figurines made any more, so they're a bit harder to find and I'm gonna risk not getting one at all if I don't just. do the dang thing lmao)

I'm thinking the Snoopy would be best/easiest for rn, but I keep getting stuck on what I'll say for the recording and it's so dumb but like:

I know, for the sake of both of us and the deeply grown and intertwined sort of emotionally incest-flavoured codependency Mum and I have, we probably should eventually try going NC or LC for at least like. a month or two in the future? Probably even a bit longer? Not as like a 'this is forever' thing (unless something would happen that would point to that as the best option for both of us), but just until we can maybe both heal a bit and work closer towards something even vaguely approaching a more normal mother/son relationship.

And the particular fear is very silly but like. I'd hate to say the things I have planned, that I mean (I do love her, and I know she does her best, and so I'm grateful for every bit and every sort of help she's ever given or will ever give me), and then we someday go NC or LC, and she's hurt by having the plush and audio around as a reminder of how things were before. I could see her throwing it away in a fit, and then being so sad and begging for a new one by the next day. And I'd want to get her one. I don't know if that's right of me or not.

Like, the trauma has me Entirely overthinking this and I know it's ridiculous, you know? But still. Got the Build-A-Bear tab open on my phone bc the chocolate is at least partially to be shared, so that's Not Enough as a partial belated bday gift; and I'd like to hit another paycheck (or part of it, since the uni rarely puts the full fucking direct deposit in on scheduled payday lmao) before I try for the Bon Jovi figurine (and hope it isn't bought before that point.) So the plush is really the best choice, and I don't want to wait any longer to send anything out bc like. Her bday was at the beginning of March, this is fucking ridiculous of me and not how I like handling gifts at all, for anyone!!

Fingers crossed I just. Get the fucking recording done, get it ordered and have them send it out to her, and that'll be enough until I can get my hands on a figurine and/or order the chocolates and candies for her, her bf, and to share with the rest of the family.

[swordmaid]

anyway some post bg3 hcs / rando shri’iia hcs that has been swimming around in my head that I haven’t shared yet (I think …)

- shri’iia is now growing out her eyebrows lool. the reason why she kept them shaved is that it’s very easy to change her appearance w makeup when her face is just bare but now that she doesn’t need to pretend to be someone else anymore she just grows them out albeit they’re growing out quite slowly. i think in the epilogue party they’re barely there so she probs draw them for the most part ..

- she gave up all the intel she collected for her matriarch on the menzoberranzan nobles (+ their houses) to the mirror of loss. it is her closing the door on that life so to speak, since she knows she can’t ever go back, and the knowledge that she has collected can either ruin or uplift depending on who gets it and how it is used. but shri’iia refuses to be a participant in that game anymore, and she

- that saying, her matriarch has assassins hunting her down because shri’iia knows too much and she is not meant to be ‘known’ or ‘exist’ anyway. the matriarch is nothing but meticulous, and it’s better to cut off a loose thread than run the risk of it unraveling the whole thing. not to mention that shri’iia is now an apostate of lolth, a heretic who turned away from the spider queen, and now she’s doing lolth a favour by getting rid of her.

like shri’iia’s og oath being how she will punish those who betray lolth (and her matriarch’s house) and now she is that very traitor it is so very olivia wilde nod.gif to me

- THAT saying she is travelling the world with astarion ..!!! considering that they can’t really stay in one place because she has drow assassins on her tail AND she’s very adamant on looking for a cure for his vampirism. not to mention that she is very much new to the world ..!! baby girl hasn’t left the underdark until the whole illithid shit and he spent 200 years in cazador’s kennels so now they’re travelling and exploring, living their best life but they only go out at night lol. they spend their mornings lounging and lazing about bc she can’t really go out due to her sunlight sensitivity, but when the sun sets they go out and become night time tourists with the occasional heroics (and extortion) on the side 🫶

- i also like the idea of them wearing a promise ring. i think marriage or anything of the sort is very far down the line for them, and it’s really not something they have in mind, but to have that prospect of maybe they can have something like that in the future is something that’s appealing to them. it’s also a reminder of the commitment they have for each other which I think it’s quite nice … I think they’re both a bit shy with their genuine feelings which is so 🤭🌝😳😳 kind of cute to me LMFAO.

anyway the promise rings are def stolen but I’m debating whether shri’iia looted it off a corpse or astarion stole it from some jeweller. or maybe both- like they somehow found near identical looking rings from diff people and they just decided to keep it. but the rings are made of platinum with a ruby centre stone. I think astarion’s ring is much more elaborate and intricate than shri’iia’s, with filigrees decorating the band and small clusters of gem around the prongs but the centre ruby is a much deeper red, whereas shri’iia’s band is a simpler design but her ruby is much brighter - def the highlight of the whole ring. it also matches their eyes lol

- shri’iia is also learning how to speak more fluently in the surface language/common tongue. she knew enough to communicate but she is def more comfortable speaking in drowic (both verbal and in sign language). but now that she is living in the surface, she’s def learning how to speak the language so she can communicate better. also wondering if astarion were to understand her if she spoke drowic since the elven language sounds similar - and drowic prob stemmed from it anyway - so maybe they could understand each other??? hmmm … lots of thoughts abt that anyway I also like the idea that he helps her out in that department lol

- also she is def developing a new wardrobe. since they’re always travelling to new places I like the idea of her adopting the fashion styles and trends the different region has + mixing that with her own that’s v much influenced by the fashion in menzoberranzan. anyway am I planning to make a lookbook for her some day maybe so…!

- I also like the idea of eilistraee - or members of eilistraee’s clergy reaching out to her since their beliefs and her newfound oath very much aligns with each other. but I think shri’iia is still very scarred from her worship of Lolth, and she’s very aware of the depths of her own devotion so following another goddess - or anyone else in the matter tbh is out of the question for her. this freedom she’s given is still new to her, and she wants to see what she can make out of it, and she doesn’t want to be held back by anything or anyone anymore so she is not going to be following anything else anytime soon…!! in the future she might chance her mind (or not) but for now … I don’t think she will follow eilistraee.

[love-toxin]

Dylan and Ryan. I wish they had made more of that relationship. Especially them and kaitlyn.

Them and Kaitlyn where the three of them are left alone at the truth and dare scene, and Dylan's callback to it later where he says something like "was I imagining it or was something about to happen there." And "We missed our chance." Like that implies we were so close to some kind of bisexual threesome! Lol projecting a little maybe but the dialogue and insinuation is there! it just fell so flat and disappointing. A throwaway line that alot of people seem to miss.

I really enjoyed the game but it felt so incomplete and rushed, especially towards the end. Like where was my group reunion??

(spoilers!!! rants!! also some until dawn spoilers for context!!!)

CAN U IMAGINE....GOD.....it's so unfair that ryan's the one gettin all this pussy i wish it were me 😩 LMAO but fr i noticed that too and i was like....👁....waiting for my threeway kiss!! i always feel bad about choosing one love interest over the other in that scenario too so it's only fair they get the ot3 pairing!! and the game seems to be riddled with throwaway lines like that so it's unfortunately hardly surprising TwT

i was complaining abt the ending to my coworkers too! i can see what they were trying to do to keep to the horror movie theme but i agree, it felt so rushed. plus, in my (probably controversial) opinion, i would argue that it even somewhat takes away the consequences that come with all the choices you've made in the game up until the end.

like yeah some people live or die, or all live or all die, but it really felt to me like those more personal choices just fell totally flat, unlike how they did in until dawn. i wouldn't have been upset at all to see them do the same thing for the ending and show all of the counselor's police interviews post-tragedy (in fact, that's what i thought they were setting it up for with all of the "evidence" you collect, i thought you'd have to prove your innocence at the end) because it would have tied it up so much nicer than a bunch of ending cards and a godawful podcast end credits that made me regret every single piece of evidence i picked up in the game.

like imagine laura's cold stoicness when being interrogated, because she's been in that exact situation and is on the defense, and her reaction when she's told that max is dead despite everything she did to lift the curse? or nick being shown pictures of abi in the poolhouse or jacob in the cages and coming to the realization of what he did to them? dylan and kaitlyn's reactions when they're told that ryan was shot and killed by travis hackett? or max rushing through the questions and repeatedly trying to get up because he needs to find laura, and starting to panic because he's reminded of those two months he spent in a cell? or, on a lighter note, jacob getting excited and waving when he sees emma passing by the window of the interrogation room out of frame, and turns back to the camera with a big, goofy smile on his face because he's so happy she's unharmed enough to flip the bird at him.

like there's so much emotion you could pack into those short interactions that would translate better than the plain obnoxious ending we got with characters nobody even cares about or knows. I'll never forget the immediate stab in my heart in the first ending i got in until dawn when i had mike shoot emily, and the switch in matt's expression when the interrogator tells him she was murdered that instantly made me want to go back and replay it just to get a different reaction AND to see the other reactions from the characters that didn't survive. sigh. i suppose I'll just have to dream about those sweet, sweet reunion hugs and kisses. i still think it's a crime that max and laura's touch-starved asses don't even get a measly hug at the end. I WANT TO SEE THEM LOCK LIPS. LET THEM BANG ONSCREEN!! GIVE IT TO ME SUPERMASSIVE 🔫🔫🔫

[ohayopoko]

Eren with Newborn& Blackfem!S/o

Note: This was a request and I ABSOLUTELY had to get on it like my fingers were going a mile a minute😭 I hope y’all enjoy this as much as I did💞✨

-Eren actually cries when he holds the baby for the first time and all he can do is stare because how?

-He never thought he could be capable of creating something this innocent and pure, something so beautiful 😳

-Y’all laugh about it after, about the way you screamed and the way he freaked out and cried

-Eren’s genuinely curious about why the baby looks like a plucked pink chicken and doesn’t look like you or him???

-S/O has to remind Eren that babies are new human beings and they have to grow into their looks and Eren wants to bet $100 that the baby’s eyes will look green like his own

-S/O laughs and accepts the bet, knowing damn well that baby eyes ain’t finna be green cause y’know, with her genes and dna being stronger or w.e it’ll be brown or some shade on that spectrum

-When Eren and S/O leave the hospital with their newborn baby and the hospital just lets them leave they feel like their kidnapping some kid lol

-Eren drives so carefully with you and the baby in the backseat, he swears on his mother’s grave he’ll get his family home safe🤞🏼💞

-Eren wants to name the baby after his mom but S/o is so set on the name she picked out for her first baby so y’all agree Carla can be the middle name

-Eren’s so stingy with the baby, more stingy than S/o cause that’s his baby baby, okay???

-If s/o isn’t holding the baby then Eren definitely has that baby in his hands or in one of those slings you wrap around ur body to put the baby in when you need your hands

-S/on will randomly touch his dick and make jokes like “Boy, this thang work!”

-Sweet boy blushes and rolls his eyes when you tease him 💓😖

-S/o looks at Eren sideways when he’s tryna crawl up in her pussy with out a condom now “Nigga If you don’t get up off me,” 🤬

-Y’all actually take contraceptives seriously now, but Eren whines abt the condoms cause he doesn’t really feel it so you get a iud and he bitches abt that too

-S/o feels weird abt her post partum body but Eren worships every inch of her cause she literally took the love he gave her and created a whole life with it like wtf that was just so fucking godly in Eren’s eyes

-When your momma comes over it’s literally just her and Eren fawning over the baby

-Diaper change? Burping? Bath time? Eren doesn’t know how to do it at first but he’s so dedicated he doesn’t need your help anymore and it’s just so cute to watch him be so careful and loving with your baby😫

-bites her lip at the thought of Eren putting another baby inside of her again and cringes at labor flashbacks😭

-Eren doesn’t even blink when the baby spits up on him anymore, like he’s totally over it and he doesn’t even wear shirts in the house anymore

-Whenever S/o starts getting depressed Eren takes the baby and stays at your mom’s house for a few days so you can sort yourself out but he sends u pictures all day and he facetimes you every night so y’all can sleep otp

-Like he props his phone up so u can see him and baby sleeping in the bed 🥺

-S/o gets nervous when she thinks about that pretty question Eren never asked her hoping it might be a possibility now that they had a family

-S/o try’s not to make it hot but Eren looks at her sideways when she’s sharing a lot of wedding ideas on her social media and doodling her name down as Y/n Jaeger

-Kinda thinks his last name looks good with your first name😗

-but when it’s just the three of you at the end of day Eren can’t help but think abt how hard he’ll fight for his family because it’s something he never really had 😖💕

[write-ur-wrongs]

Nature’s Nurturing Ways

Hi y’all! This pandemic has really taken the wind out of my sails these past few weeks (maybe months? Time is completely untraceable right now). This piece is born out of a lovely anon’s request, bolded below. As always, I haven’t proofread this mess, so please forgive the typos! I’ll do my best to correct them post-publishing. I seriously can’t thank you enough for taking the time to send me your ideas, and I promise I’ll get better at writing actual drabbles LOL. I hope you enjoy :) 

Hii can you write something abt Geralt being w a plant-based reader where she loves animals and nature? Tysm

_____________________________________________________________

Geralt and Jaskier had been travelling for hours when the beating sun finally wore them down. There hadn’t been a breeze in days and the hot, stale air was starting to suffocate the uncharacteristically quiet bard, who wouldn’t dare compete with the surrounding cicada’s symphony.

“Geralt,” he rasped, “do you hear any running water? Drips or gurgles? I’ll take anything.”

“Jask, it hasn’t rained in days and it’s hotter than the depths of hell,” the Witcher sighed before continuing, “I said no yesterday, the answer is the same today.”

“Euughh!” Jaskier threw his head back in despair before hanging his head in exhaustion. “Geralt, I don’t want to be dramatic -,”

“Ha!” Geralt twisted in his saddle to look back at his friend with a quirked brow.

“- but I will fall off this horse and die of exposure if we don’t find water soon.”

Shaking his head, Geralt knew that despite the bard’s tendency to embellish, the situation was getting dire. They’d traveled this way dozens of times before and had always relied on the steady creek that ran alongside the trail for water. The region wasn’t known for dry spells and while Geralt was sure he could manage either way, his companion on the trail was not so durable.

They wouldn’t arrive at their destination for another three or four hours, at his level of dehydration and with probable heat exhaustion, Jaskier might not have that much time.

With another gruff sigh, Geralt pulled back on Roach’s reins and redirected her off the road and into the forest, turning back to ensure Jaskier’s horse would follow.

Geralt knew that there was a small clearing off the road where the thick leaves from the old trees made a lush, and shaded, canopy. He’d been there before a handful of times. It’s where he shared a tender first kiss, where he’d laid his head on Y/N’s chest before falling asleep feeling the cool, lush, grass cradling his large frame. It’s where he first said I love you.

Shaking his head slightly to pull himself from his memories, he dismounted and grabbed both sets of reins, leading the horses into farther the clearing. Once they’d reached the middle of the small field, Geralt released Roach’s lead and gave her a neck a scratch before leaving her to graze.

“Come on Jaskier,” he said, reaching into the gelding’s saddle bag for some food, “get off your horse and lay down in the grass.”

The bard fell out of his saddle with a thud while Geralt continue to root around the bag, huffing as he kept coming up empty.

“Did you eat the last of the cheese?”

“Mmpft,” Jaskier replied incoherently, face down in the grass.

“Hey –”

“Oi! You kicked me!”

“Where is the food? We had bread, cheese, and meat left over last night. Did you fucking eat it all?”

“No, you oaf,” he said, rolling over onto his back, “we ate the rest of it this morning.”

“Fuck!” Geralt cursed under his breath, pulling his hair up off his neck to cool off. He could barely remember what they’d done earlier that day. The heat had been unbearable all evening, and the rising sun only made it worse.  

“Don’t worry about it Geralt! No need to apologize for accusing me so harshly.” Jaskier said, words dripping in sarcasm.

Geralt merely looked down at the bard with disdain and rolled his eyes, refusing to admit the sun might be affecting him too.

“Shut up and take off your shirt –”

“Oh-ho!” he laughed weakly, wiggling his eye brows at the witcher. No matter how beaten and battered the bard may be, he’d never miss an opportunity to tease Geralt.

“No, Gods! Fuck,” Geralt went on, flustered, “the grass will cool you down a hell of a lot faster if you’re in direct contact. And besides, Y/N will kill me if I let you die of exposure.”

“Always so serious, eh Geralt?” Jaskier chided playfully, pulling off his tunic before laying back down onto the grass, “Oh-ho-ho-ohhhh yes… Sweet merciful goddess of all that is good, this feels amazing! Yes, yes, yes!”

While he was sure the bard was still mumbling gratefully, and disgustingly, at the feeling of the cool grass against his skin, Geralt’s mind was elsewhere. Somewhere in this clearing, wild heliotropes had bloomed and the sweet, almondine scent was pulling him into a memory.

“Geralt! Witchers use herbs, mushrooms, and flowers in all kinds of magic,” you said, your hands resting high on your hips, “I find it incredibly hard to believe that in all your years and extensive travels, you’d never learned to forage?”

“All my years, eh?” he’d replied, cat-like eyes gleaming back at you.

“Well of course,” you teased, “I mean, unless you mean to tell me that silver head of hair is a choice born out of vanity?”

“I’m going to make you pay for that later, Y/N.” He laughed, taken aback and a little impressed that you felt so comfortable with his mutations as to mock him playfully.

“Ha! Me and what coin?” you reply with a light laugh, bending over to collect the generous mushrooms growing through the bed of leaves and needles.

Geralt turned his head towards you to hit you with a winning comeback, but found himself lost for words when his eyes failed to meet yours.

You get up slowly, peering over your shoulder to find your witcher’s eyes on your backside. Smirking to yourself and quirking a brow flirtatiously, you toss a handful of dirt and wet leaves his way, hitting the poor soul right in the chest.

“Distracted, Geralt?” you said, tossing your hair over your shoulder as you straightened up.

Geralt swallowed thickly, desperately trying to string together at least a couple words – witty at best, coherent at least – when he heard a twig snap in the surrounding forest.

Quick as a flash, he drew his sword and his attention towards the source of the disturbance, a large boar. Chest already swelling with pride at the thought of providing you with a hearty meal, Geralt prepared his attack on the creature before him.

Seeing that the “threat” in question was nothing but a passing porcine, you dove before him with a shout, dropping the mushrooms on the way. Your scream coupled with your sudden movement startled the beast, and it dove deeper into the brush to escape.

“Geralt, no!”

“Damn it, Y/N,” he swore, “I could’ve had it! We could have had a decent meal! We – we would have been set for days!”

“No, Geralt! We have food, right here in this clearing. We needn’t take lives from the forest to eat.”

“Gods, Y/N,” he sighed, dropping his sword to the ground in frustration, “do I need to remind you of the cycle of life? Creatures live, they die, and they get eaten so others can live –”

“Yes, and by leaving that gentle giant to its ruminations, we’ve allowed it to go on, to feed its young, or hell! By leaving that boar to live, we might have secured a lifeline for a fellow wolf or fox. Geralt look around you; mushrooms, flowers, these thick leaves, those berries? You see that tree there? At its roots there are nuts, and over there? Those flowers? Means there is garlic. The forest will feed us with ease if we simply care to drop our weapons, and look.”

Geralt looked at you and with soft eyes, he took in the way your eyes burned with passion, the way your chest rose and fell with every energized breath. He looked around you and really looked at the plants around him, beyond scanning for any toxic or dangerous herbs, he did his best to see the forest through your bright eyes.

Looking at you he felt his chest swell once more, but this time the feeling was warm, grounding.

“I love you, Y/N,” he said quietly, pulling you into his arms, “so, so much.”

You looked up at him with tears in your eyes. You knew he loved you. You had known for months, but you’d made peace with the fact that he loved you however he could, and that that would have to be enough, even if it meant you wouldn’t hear him say it.

“Oh, my sweet, sweet dove,” you murmured, reaching up to lay a soft kiss on his forehead, “I love you too.”

Geralt was wrenched from his thoughts by a swift kick to his shin, courtesy of the bard.

“Shhht!! Geralt!” Jaskier shout-whispered, still kicking at the witcher’s shins. “A deer! A d- dinner! Food! Geralt!”

Side-stepping out of the bard’s frantic little kicks, Geralt looked around him in a quick movement, spotting the deer with his hand primed above his sword’s hilt.

The world seemed to go quiet and still when his eyes met the doe’s. Despite himself, he could hear your voice in his head telling him that she’s a young, vibrant member of this forest’s population. That at her age, she’s likely a first-time mom or about to be. That she has more life to live and more to give to the land than be a poor man’s meal.

Jaskier watched in hungry-horror as Geralt waved his large hand at the creature, turning his back to it before looking down to meet his shell-shocked gaze.

“What the fuck, Geralt!” he spat, “what happened to “Y/N would kill me if I let Jaskier die”? What the fuck! That was food! Survival!”

“You’ll be fine Jask, shut up and lay in your grass.”

“As long as you don’t make me eat it.” He grumbled, not quietly enough.

A laugh rumbled through him as he walked towards to forest line, spotting thick dandelion leaves, mushrooms, and bushes ripe with nuts. He might not necessarily need to feed Jaskier the grass beneath his feet, but he was going to make him eat his words.

***********************************************************************************

“There you are my intrepid explorers!” You damn near squealed at the sight of them, dropping your basket of recently-purchased produce as you ran towards them.

At the sight of you, Geralt dismounts and runs to meet you in a tight embrace. You hold each other tightly, breathing in each other’s scent; his cedar, damp earth, and cut grass, and yours sweet almond.

You pull back just enough to look him over quickly and, spotting no fresh injury or new scars, pull your brows together curiously.

“Did you get lost?”

“Not at all,” replied Jaskier, clapping Geralt on the shoulder, “You’d be impressed, madam Y/N! Our dear witcher made quite the feast. Pulled me right out of the greedy jaws of death, he did!”

“Oh?” You said, brows furrowed in a silent question. Knowing what you meant, Geralt shook his head and kissed your temple to reassure you.

“Picture me this, Y/N,” Jaskier mused as he untacked his gelding, “I’m wilting away, inches from Death’s grip, and Geralt sweeps me under a lush canopy of trees and lays me in the grass…”

“Lays him in the grass? Should I be jealous?” you whispered.

“Never my love,” he replied softly, his forehead against yours.

“… then our honorable friend bid the deer a fond farewell, letting him get away! Yes, Y/N, there I lay, starving, thinking the sun must have cooked the sense right out of him when he marches out of sight only to emerge moments later with a bounty!”

“A bounty?” you mock-gasp, egging the bard on to Geralt’s great displeasure.

“Yes! We ate like kings in that forest, Y/N. All we did was eat but I felt hydrated and renewed! Truly a culinary delight.”

“A delight, Geralt!” you giggled, giving his waist a squeeze.

“Gods, won’t he ever shut up?” he grumbled, ghost of a blush creeping up his collar.

“Oh hush, my love,” you cooed, “without Jask’s bragging, I’d have never known what a big softy you’ve become.”

Wordlessly, Geralt looked down at you in mock-contempt, unsure that this wasn’t a veiled insult. He was instantly reassured though, when his eyes met yours.

“You left the deer.”

“I did.”

“And you foraged, found just what you needed.” You spoke softly, admiration and love rounding your features out beautifully.

“That’s right.”

“Now where did you pick up skills like that, my dove?” You chanced another tease, twirling a lock of his white, dust-packed hair around a finger before giving it a light tug, your head cocked to the side.

“Oh, I had an exceptional teacher…” he said, wrapping an arm tightly around your waist and bringing his other hand up to cup your face, pulling into a deep kiss.

[greensaplinggrace]

honestly THANK YOU for saying all that abt baghra bc i thought i was going crazy from not liking her??? bc i haven't read the books and only summaries of them on wiki and like. i dunno why ppl like her actually even in the show bc this guy, her son, is like "i wanna make the world better for us grisha" and she's just like "no." even tho he sees that she's MAKING HERSELF SICK from suppressing her powers! she's literally like in bed coughing in the flashback yet seem much healthier at the little palace. also like after everything, after her disapproval, after the fold, after centuries of waiting for the sun summoner.. he never abandons her. he makes sure she's cares for. he doesn't harm her. and i have to wonder if baghra has ever thanks him for that, for just not leaving her alone. like i dunno how im suppose ro believe aleks is a heartless villain when he still cares for his abusive mom like this. like has baghra even told her she loved him (honestly she reminds me of a classic emotionally unavailable asian parent but maybe that's just me). also im wondering if baghra ever told aleks that he had an aunt.. bc like.. now that u bring up her isolating him it's like hmmmm...

not at me being like alina... why do u trust the bitter old woman who literally beats u with a stick and verbally abuses u every chance she gets.. just bc she showed a bad painting... like.. pls use two braincells to see that who u figured out as his mother... is also using his protection..

like baghra could've upped and left with alina. but no. she stayed bc she knew she was safe under aleks's protection.

alsoim just impressed that after his first friend tried to drown him and harvest his bones... he didn't go into hiding???? he still wanted to make a safe heaven for grisha!!! HE STILL WANTED TO PROTECT GRISHA EVEN AFTER HIS GRISHA FRIEND TRIED TO KILL HIM FOR HIS FUCKEN BONES. like... this is the guy im suppose to believe is the villain???

honestly i feel like part of the reason why LB's plotlines seem so bad and disconnected (and sometimes outright racist but that's another rant) and why darkles is disproportionately more violent and villainous in the later books is bc she didn't expect the darkling to be so popular and wanted to stick with her guns of making him the villain. but also wanted the money from aleks's popularity. but like you can't have ur cake and eat it too.

Well thank you for sending this ask! It's very sweet and very passionate. I'm glad you liked my post! I didn't put as much thought into it as some of my others lol. I kind of just talked. But it was nice to be able to finally talk about some of the problems I have with both her character and the fandom/author's perception of her.

HERE is the post this is referring to, in case anyone's wondering.

👀👀 You've hit the nail on the head for so many things, here!

Baghra is extremely emotionally unavailable, basically to the point of neglect. She's also verbally and physically abusive, traits which I doubt were only reserved for her students and not her son. Baghra claims she would do anything to protect him, but I've known a lot of parents who have that mindset and yet still harm their children because they think it's "good for them".

Aleksander stays at Baghra's side for years, and even when they're opposing each other she's never too far away from him. Idk if you've read the books but he does eventually hurt her. And as much as I don't like Baghra, I think his actions were horrid. But I'm also honestly kind of surprised it took him so long lmao.

Yeah I mean, in terms of isolation, let's not forget that she never wanted to introduce him to his father, either. Baghra's sense of eternity clouds a lot of her judgments on relationships, which means she views most people as dust and therefore teaches her son to as well. The problem with that is that he's a growing child, and he needs those social and emotional attachments for healthy development.

I would bet quite a bit of money that Baghra has either never told him she loves him or she has told him so few times it's practically forgettable.

And everything becomes more complicated because so many of Baghra's actions are understandable because of her life and her history, but the impacts they have on the people around her, especially Aleksander, are permanently damaging. And the fact that that's never gone over in critical depth in the books or how it's glossed over in fandom is just very disconcerting. Like, acknowledging Baghra's failings doesn't mean we're excusing Aleksander's actions, it just means we're holding Baghra liable for her own. Which the fandom should be doing, considering she's the epitome of an abusive parental figure.

And Alina trusting Baghra over Aleksander is even more confusing! Especially in the show!! This is the woman who beat her and abused her and tortured her friends when they tiny little children (and who probably still does so now that they're adults). This is the woman who mocks you and harasses you and insults you on a regular basis. Why does Baghra revealing she's Aleksander's mother make Alina change her mind?! Like fuck, I'd just feel bad for Aleksander. No wonder he kept it a secret, I would too! And that painting is enough evidence?! Really?! A random painting shown to you by this abusive mentor that's been making your life hell. That's what you're going to betray your new lover over?

The friends trying to harvest his bones thing is a good point, too. I think Aleksander, especially show Aleksander, is incredibly idealistic. I think he cares too much for others - those he's deemed worth his care (a sentiment given to him by Baghra). Despite everything she's tried to teach him about hiding and abandoning others and never caring and never doing anything to help or reach out or connect with people, Aleksander still continues to do so. It's likely because he never got it from Baghra growing up, and so is desperate for those emotional needs to be fulfilled elsewhere.

His turning point, when Baghra tells him it was understandable that those kids tried to kill him because the world is such a hard place for them - that's crucial. And the reason it's possible as a motivating factor is because of that idealism and that desire to help and that desire to be everything his mother isn't. Baghra tells him this trauma he just experienced was because of the oppression of his people, and instead of following her lead and accepting that, going into hiding and abandoning everybody to their misery, he goes I can do something about that. I can make it so this never happens again. Which is usually how trauma like that combines with one's core personality traits at a young age, especially when there's none of the essential support systems in place to aid in recovery (ie, the role Baghra should have been filling but wasn't, because she decided to exacerbate the problem instead).

And yeah, one of my biggest problems with the ham-fisted "beating you over the head with a sledgehammer of evil deeds" look-how-bad-this-character-is! portrayal of the Darkling in the later books comes from the impression I get that Bardugo doesn't trust her readers. She's so desperate to have us hate this character and think him an irredeemable villain, not trusting any of her readers to engage critically with a morally gray character, that it feels quite a bit like condescending fucking bullshit. Which ew, I know how to engage with literature, thanks.

She really does seem to look down on a large part of her fandom, and imo, the infantilization of the female characters in her books seems to carry over to her impression of most of her female readers as well. Which is why the Darkling's character arc gets fucking destroyed. But he's still a good cash grab, of course, so she'll shake his dead corpse in front of the fandom for money every time she wants something from it.

Also! Another reason I think her plotlines feel disconnected (I'm sorry Bardugo I respect you as a person, but shit-) is because the writing in SaB is just bad. I mean, nevermind the absolutely nauseating implications of the way she portrays the Grisha as a persecuted group who's situation is never actually fully addressed as it should be, considering Grisha rights is what her main villain is fighting for (imo for a series called the Grishaverse, LB seems to be pretty anti Grisha), but her characters and story alone are just wrong for each other. They don't fit together.

And the ending is one of the main pieces of evidence in that regard! You can’t say the ending where Alina isn’t Grisha anymore is her “going back to where she started” when she’s always been Grisha. She just didn’t know she was Grisha because she denied that part of herself that she was born with.

Alina is reluctant to move forward or change, she struggles with adapting, and she’s very set on the things she’s grown attached to throughout her life. She also has some latent prejudices against the Grisha, and so denies the possibility of being Grisha for those reasons as well.

Alina’s lack of powers in the beginning of her life because she willfully doesn’t learn about them to avoid change versus her lack of powers at the end of the book when she’s accepted them and then they’re stripped away from her by outer forces are two entirely separate circumstances. You can’t make a parallel about lost powers and lack of Grisha status bringing her back to the start when she was always Grisha and she always had powers and she simply refused to come to terms with it because of personal reasons.

The first situation is an internal conflict that indicates a story about growth and a journey of self acceptance. Denying herself the opportunity to learn about her heritage and to find acceptance with a group of people like her because she’s tied to the past and because of the way she was raised is the setup for a narrative that tackles unlearning prejudice and learning how to connect with a part of her identity that was denied her and learning how to grow independent and self assured. It’s the setup for a different story entirely. The second situation is an external conflict that centers around the ‘corrupting influence of power’... for some reason.

In a world where Grisha do not have social, political, or economic power and they are hunted, centering your heroine’s journey of self acceptance and growth around an external conflict about... the corrupting influence of power (in a group of people that don’t actually have any power?!) just doesn’t work. It is literally impossible to connect the two stories Bardugo is trying to push in Shadow and Bone without seriously damaging the main character’s developmental arc.

The only way a narrative like this would work, claiming that she has gone back to where she started, is either a) if the Grisha weren’t actually a persecuted group and instead were apart of the upper class, or b) if the one bad connection between the two instances is acknowledged - that Alina denied a part of herself crucial to self acceptance and growing up, and that losing her powers at the end has also denied her. It is a tragedy, not a happy ending.

Alina suffered because she didn’t use her powers. She grew sick. It was bad for her. This was not a resistance to 'the corruption of power and the burden of greed', it was her suffering because she couldn’t fully accept herself.

Framing the ending as a return to the beginning can’t be done if you don’t address how bad the beginning was for your main character. You brought her back to a bad point in her life. You regressed her. This should be a low point in her arc. It should be a problem that’s solved so she can finish developing organically or it should be something that is acknowledged as a tragedy in it’s own right, for the future the world (the writing) denied her.

This is a ramble and it makes no sense and I’m really sorry, but my point is that Bardugo put the wrong characters in the wrong story. The character arc required for organic development doesn’t match the story and intended message at all. The narrative doesn’t fit the cast. She's got two clashing stories attempting to work in tandem and she ends up with both conflicting messages that fans still can’t comprehend in her writing and an ending that doesn’t suit her main character to such an impossible degree that it’s almost laughable.

So yeah, there's a few reasons why I think the story and the plot feels so bad and disconnected. I hope you don't mind me making this answer so long! 😅 I was not expecting to write this much.

[woozi]

Um this might be annoying but your descriptions on that mutuals as svt members was so wholesome! So I thought if you could name your mutuals and say what you like abt them? Your favorite thing about them kinda? Idk I thought it was cute but you don't have to do it if you don't want to ! 💚💚💚

i went through my following list and i think these are all of my carat mutuals/friends <3 i only included those who i'm mutuals with here on this blog, but with that in mind i hope i included the right people/and all of you! if not, i may have gotten confused with your main and sideblogs. :/ i divided this into 4 sections (because that's how i think of them in my head, lol). so, without further ado, here they are in the order of my following list (from the most recent):

caratblr

@leechaerok (mirelle) - mi!! i love how you are always striving to be positive and that this is something you share and extend to other people! you literally remind me of sunshine and i hope that only good things are coming ur way. ily!!

@ohoshi (cora) - cora my naughty (IN A PLAYFUL WAY) friend <3 cora's really fun to talk to and she keeps you on your toes. idk why i didn't follow her earlier (i didnt know i wasn't following her jsdjkdsjsdk). extremely talented!! also love the upbeat vibe.

@soonyoungs (cara) - same with cora, i've been seeing cara around but never got to interact with her until recently! i love how versatile cara is and how she always always always appreciates even the little things. 10/10 would let her visit my home again <3

@wrongnanab (aya) - i get mom/older sister friend vibes from aya and i think it suits her a lot. she’s also not afraid of reaching out and i love that sm about her!! i relate to her a lot and i love how she’s always there.

@junhaoshua (e) - something interesting always comes up every time i speak to e! i also love her initiative and how well she manages her time. she’s really passionate about the things she likes and i love how she can get people to be interested in them too!

@choibeomgyus (kale) - kale has excellent taste! i love her aes so much. <3 her work is particularly right up my alley and i just love how clean looking they are. kale’s also such a sweet friend, and she’s not shy about showing affection. i love her sm!!

@dokyom (izy) - izy’s one of the first carats i first followed when i got into caratblr and i’m so glad to have made that decision! her work always wows me and although we haven’t talked much, she’s one of the people i always look out for in here.

@seohoshi (nele) - nele, my mutual at heart. <3 the way we became mutuals is so funny and memorable to me, and i can’t say that about most people! i really like the way nele presents herself as well. she can have fun while still being collected, which i find really interesting. i think she’s someone who brings stability, but i can’t really explain why i get that from her. <3

@art-hao (carrie) - goddess on earth. so elegant. a literal virgo. i love how carrie doesn’t want to be too invested in one single thing. that being said, she’s multitalented, yet is skilled in each of the fields she’s venturing in. she also speaks what’s on her mind, and i admire that a lot. what can’t this woman do :/  

@svtreasure (kate) - kate is one of the first people i got to talk to here on caratblr! and although she’s not on here that much, i always look forward to seeing her. i feel like i have to protect her like a younger sibling <3

@uriboogyu (lee) - lee definitely has feisty younger sibling vibes which i think is so cute! like carrie and e, she’s not afraid of saying what’s on her mind. lee is also such a go-getter! the future is very bright for this one <3

@smallkore (kore) - i remember first talking to kore after she tagged all 3 of my active blogs in one post, and i thought it was kind of funny <3 kore is super talented and entertaining! i also think she’s super interesting, and i love her strange picture collection. <3

@rq-s (katrina) - katrina is also one of the first few people who i interacted with here on caratblr! she is so supportive and always has a nice word for everyone. even though she isn’t here much, i always like seeing her around <3

@boosbin (isa) - iconic. legend. will kick your ass. my beloved <3 isa is SUPER talented and she never fails to amaze me. she’s also very relatable and is super fun to talk to! idk i’m just really fond of isa lol

@dk-s (zay) - i love zay’s sense of style and her overall aesthetic! she also is really smart and gets really invested in her interests. i love her dedication and initiative!

@scoupsy (dreamy) - dreamy and i haven’t really talked much aside from interactions here and there, but she’s someone i really admire. i love how she doesn’t take anyone’s shit and knows what she wants. she’s really skilled in her areas of interest and takes pride in her excellent work. love that about her!! 

@julyprince (madison) - i was really shocked when madison followed me back because i love her work so much! i love how she is so consistent and dedicated (honestly, the constant 9 sets say it all <3). she’s intimidating at first, but she is actually so nice and likes reaching out!

@xuseokgyu (belle) - one of my treasured moots. belle is literally the seok to my soon. <3 she doesn’t know it, but i was kind of shy during my earlier days in caratblr, and she encouraged me to be myself just because she was always reaching out to me. i see belle as someone who really nurtures and is just a reliable older sister for me!

@haniehae (anna) - also one of my favorites <3 anna doesn’t really need too much words but u can always feel the love from her by her little tags here and there. she’s also super supportive and very appreciative of the little things! anna is such a cute person to have around. i lalso love how much work she puts into caratblr. also an amazing dancer oh my god???????

@jaemtens (kevin) - like dreamy, kevin and i haven’t really talked much, but i always love seeing him on the dash! one of the people i admire. it absolutely blows my mind how he has a phd (about to have one? :D) and that he’s still somehow able to make gifs (BEAUTIFULLY!) consistently. love that dedication, wish that were me!!

@tearsofsyrup (vi) - vi thinking of me and tagging me on cute stuff really just makes me feel so :’>. i love how easygoing vi is and i just feel light whenever we interact!!

@soonhoonsol (chey) - everyone’s bestie!! chey literally is the go-to person on caratblr. idk how she manages to do it but she’s always so nice to everyone and really does go out of her way to make everyone feel comfortable! chey has a special place in my heart, and my stay in caratblr wouldn’t be the same without her. <3

@iiasha (emily) - you all don’t understand how much i LOVE emily. i can’t even explain why i love her i just do. she’s also one of the first people i followed when i came on caratblr and i’m so glad to have met her here on our own personal hellsite. emily’s the perfect balance of smart, cool, and funny (this sentence sounds lame as fuck but idk how else to put it)! i appreciate how much she likes her job and that’s something i hope to also imitate! i’ve said it before but i also really love how generous she is. emily also made my stay here on caratblr very enjoyable and i always love reading her text posts <3 i think tumblr junation would nearly die without her so go thank her rn. (she also spotted me turning full dinonara without me even noticing that i am one so. <3 /mwah/)

@coupsnim (izzie) - izzie gives me calm artsy vibes.  her work is always stunning omg. queen of red lips (and i think it’s so fitting bc it suits cheol the best imo???). ALSO love how much she loves cheol!! izzie’s just a sweetheart. <3 would also support ur 0 note posts, lol.

@kyeomshine (lyns) - lyns coloring queen <3 i looove how clean and cohesive her work always is! she’s also one of the people who encouraged me to stay here on caratblr (although she doesn’t know it!!). and though we don’t see lyns as much nowadays, i still think of her as the resident dk fan <3 one of the memorable people for me.

@heartgyus (rhys) - my sister (dISGUSTANG!!). my enemy. THE mutual to have homoerotic subtext with. rhys is actually my closest friend on caratblr. she’s multitalented, almost all-knowing, and has prettie vibes. i’m not elaborating anymore from here on out because i just know she’s gonna be a little devil about it on the dms. 🙄

@hanwooz (kellie & christine) - one of my absolute favorite blogs! i think of them as one of the constants of caratblr. i absolutely love their posts sm and just enjoy when they’re around!! (and how do ur gifs always look good omg tell me ur secrets pls <3)

@7ww​ (yasmin) - one of my favorite (if not my favorite) gfx maker!! i love how you can immediately tell something is from her because of their trademark look. we haven’t talked yet, but she’s one of my favorite carats!

@mngys​ (sofi) - coolest person in the world. idk why we’re even mutuals i don’t deserve this <3 sofi always has the coolest ideas and i look up to her sm!! i’ve also seen her from the birdie community before i got into caratblr so i’ve been following her for quite some time now, but we became mutuals here!

aes carats

@vixenjun​ (kaya) - another one of my beloveds <3 i always say kaya is funnie and sexie but she really is, and those are always the first words i think of when i’m reminded of her. one of my absolute favorites. a bestie that's close to my heart. <3

@tiddie​ (deniz) - i don’t see deniz posting much about svt anymore, but deniz is one of my first carat moots (i followed aes carats first). this one really witnessed my jeonghan downfall. :/ so funny. is a great friend!!

@bwaldorf (ramasha) - A SWEETHEART!! ramasha and i don’t talk much anymore but when i think of her i only am reminded of good things. i rmb how much she supported my weird posts back then <3 also iconic aes hello???? 

@vernons (oona) - oona and i are literally just vibing here <3 i actually met her from the aes side of tumblr before i got into caratblr (like deniz) and discovered that she’s also a carat! i really like oona’s presence and i just feel like she’s someone i want to protect. <3 also makes amazing pastries. she’s also so pretty!!!!! (i really like ur hair sm i think i’ve said this before lol) a cute friend. would send u things saying ‘this reminded me of u’, and i’d get heart attacks from it jsdjdjksd

@oldbooks (fawn) - my frog friend. i think it’s so cute that fawn shares this agenda with hao <3 also unexpectedly tags you on things and leaves cute little notes/tags that makes me want to :’). sophisticated taste!! also really friendly. ily!!

@scoups (hani) - hani is so friendly and takes really good care of her friends!! i was intimidated of her at first, but learnt that she’s an absolute sweetheart. i love how she’s also giving us sm svt content when she’s around! hani’s a supportive friend that you’ll always find yourself looking for. 

@snwo (joy) - refined taste. funny text post advocate. i love joy’s vibe sm!! i first got to know her when she had a hao url and i was super intimidated of her. now she’s one of my absolute besties! aside from her impeccable taste, she’s also such a great friend. this one always has ur back. ily ms joy <3

@sataemism (sof) - sof literally the funniest person in the world!! i’m always happy to see her and she brings me so much joy. very lowkey chaotic vibe (the taemin and hoshi urls speak a lot abt this lol), and just a very fun person overall!!

birdie carats

@flowerbeom (kat) - kat, like the rest of those in this category, is someone i’ve been following for a while now as i came back to tumblr because of got7. kat and i haven’t really talked much but always interact with rb/s and likes and i love that JSDJSDKJDSJ that being said kat’s tags are always so enjoyable to read. + it’s so funny as well that when we actually got to talking we didn’t realize we had a lot in common! a very generous friend. gave me a yugyeom pc even though i’m literally from another continent. 😭

@tuanzie (joanna) - content queen. i looove how joanna’s work has a trademark look to them! they’re always so gorgeous and smooth-looking. i love how joanna’s able to speak her mind and would not take shit from people. i see her as someone brave, but not too out there! also someone you can rely on to put reposters on hit lists mwah<3

@gotseventeens (belle) - my name twin <3 belle is actually one of the people/reasons why i got into svt and i’m eternally grateful to her for that!! we’ve been talking since i first became a birdie but somehow we both have 0 recollections of our conversations JSDJDKSJKSDJ tumblr wouldn’t be as fun for me if belle weren’t around ngl. i love how she seems to be mature yet you’re also up for a wild ride with her!! she’s my own personal wonu <3

@secndlife (karoline) - i’ve also been following karoline since i was a birdie, but we only became mutuals here! i love her writing so much and i enjoy seeing her lose her mind over hoshi (mood <3)

@defgyus (val) - i often associate belle with val and i think they have a lot of similarities!! val also gives me the mature yet fun vibe. i think val’s so successful and i admire her a lot!! i love her work sm and just love how she interacts with people. very warm and homey!!

more carat moots i haven't really talked to but enjoy seeing on the dash

@emailclub (emily), @kyeomblr (maddie), @joshuahong (bea), @delicatecy (deli), @mintyseoks, @syuperseventeen (nat), @haol (mali), @svtclub (hannah), @cutiejoshi (siri), @chanswu (mandy), @jeonghannie (myrena), @squishy-woozi (kris), @wonwooo (hiba), @rameniji (rain), @cafevernon (ish), @hoshluv, @minghyu (nicole), @mingyiu (katya), @yeol (tat), @dearkyeom (kristy), @seokgyus (kai), @bbaksu (akemi), @1adyluck (sushi), @shineesbag (gen)

[mariaiscrafting]

ahhhh ty ty ty <3

ok, so I think that what makes Dream act this way (iykyk) is how dreamwastaken became so big so quickly. and by quick I mean fucking lightning speed.

he didn't have enough time to learn enough about cc etiquette, especially in these three aspects: influence, boundaries and fanbase/stans/whatever you call it. I'll try to explain it:

• Influence: Does he know the influence he has? Like, when he hears that he is the myct with the largest fanbase, does he really process that? I remember he talked about not being able to control all of his fanbase and there's bad apples everywhere -- which is true, and that only like 1% of his fanbase breaks his boundaries (that include sending hate for him, harassing, doxing, etc. yk, basic twitter culture lol) but, honey, with your big ass fanbase, 1% is still a lot of people. As a content creator you *have* to be aware of that.

let's take the hbomb situation. First off, as a streamer, it's you that set the mood of the stream. Even if he was only messing around with his pals, even if they did say to do not send hate to hbomb, dt dunking on him created a toxic environment, which caused his fans being toxic towards hbomb and you know what happens next. Hell, when this happened, I was watching Tapl and he was watching them and he was crying laughing over them screaming bc they were just. so loud and so aggressive that it was kinda ??? Sirs, this is literally a Minecraft Stream lmaooo

my point is, that was not the road that dreamwastaken, 21M fans, should've taken. he don't condone his fans actions but he knows his fans are diehard and will always be on his side, he should be more careful before stating negative opinions, especially if its towards another person.

• Boundaries and Fanbase: He posted a list of his boundaries a while ago, idk if you know or seen it (btw please george copy your bestie for the love of god <3) but I'm not talking about those boundaries, I'm talking about the basic boundaries between cc and viewer. boundaries that, in my opinion, should exist between cc and viewer. I get that Dream is an open person, an oversharing type of open person if I may add, but I think he should take a step back regardless. When I heard that he was taking a time from twitter, I genuinely got so glad, not because he couldn't start any drama then, but because it would do so so good for his mental health. I'm not even that fond of him, it's just that for me, any cc taking a break or outright leaving twitter is a win for me. I know how RSD is hard to deal and honestly letting shit out it's better but dream you have dt you have bbh so please don't make things worse online 😭 I know how good can be to feel validation from millions of people but. it's not a good idea, especially in the state that his fanbase is on rn (this topic is kinda sensitive to talk abt for me bc people be outright ableist and hide it as criticism like. say that shit's not helping his reputation and whatever without acting like he's fucking. manipulating his fanbase for being affected by his rsd💀 or, on the other hand, don't say that hes just being adhd🤪 when he's just being an asshole like damn that's a Him thing bro lol)

(omg it's so big I'm so sorry and theres a part two I'm so sorry tumblr user messed-up-gal ToT) - morango 1/2

pt. 2:

Dream is the proof that the people who loves you can be your downfall. istg. Have you noticed that every drama that Dream enters, people usually get more mad abt how his fanbase reacts (85% they'll react in a bad way) than Dream himself? it's not always, but its definitely more likely. I'm not saying Dream is saint, he Is petty and his ego does him dirty and made him choke multiple times before,, But! i dont think hes a bad guy. he's literally just a dude. ok, he's a 21yr old white gamer man that has a trumpie past (maybe?? idk. I think hes cured now ig lol) so he's bound to do some shitty things but he still tries to get better and hopefully he'll mature. 21 is old enough but it's still so young, yk? I kind of lost my mind during the end and my eyes are literally begging to be closed so tl;dr: Its gonna be hard for him to become a better cc bc his fans don't let him be criticized (by infantilizing his adhd symptoms or the mob mentality as soon as someone says anything abt him), the honest criticism get lost between lies from antis that don't know shit, he still has a lot of growing up to do and overall he became famous too fast and he needs to learn things even faster bc as soon as there's not a single one dream hater on sight they'll turn their back and attack him instead lmao I hate twitter i definitely have more to say but I'm tired and my memory is shit. just-- hate dream if you want, love dream if you want, nobody is obligated to have an opinion but I wanted to express mine. have a lovely day! -morango 2/2

Aight, there's a lot to unpack here, so Imma try to only go into the points I have something to add to (here's what I talk about in each paragraph, if you want to jump to a specific point):

Speed of Dream's rise to fame

The "bad apples" in the Dream fanbase

Post-MCC HBomb stream

Not condoning versus actually condemning his fans

Manipulation & RSD

Criticism of Dream, his fanbase, and his brand

The “just a dude” argument, flipped

First, I agree that one of the many factors that has resulted in the current image Dream has set up for himself, the way his fanbase functions, the ways people hate on him, and the way the Dream brand functions, is the speed of his rise to fame. It's unique, and there are probably a hundred social/psychological angles that could be used to examine the exact effects of that speed upon all of these facets of the Dream Name; did rapid fame beget the rapid rise of unrighteous hatred, did those waves of hatred then instigate the rise of a surprisingly overdefensive fanbase, did that rapid fame get to his head and/or result in an inability to appropriately handle all the after-effects of rapid fame, etc.? That point you bring up, about how the speed of his rise to fame requires him to learn even more quickly, is so interesting to me. I think that maybe Dream expected to get pretty famous pretty quickly, hence the preparedness in regards to some mechanics of influencer fame- merchandise, business-building, networking, knowing how to manage his fanbase to best benefit him. But I don't think he expected to get this famous this quickly. This is all speculation of course, as are this entire post and your ask, but I think that he just couldn't anticipate having to learn how to handle enmasse controversy, waves of antis, or every Youtuber speculating/knowing about him; and yeah, that results in him having to learn all of these things very quickly, lest he allow his whole brand and fandom to fall apart.

Second, I disagree with the frequent argument that Dream's fanbase is only marginally toxic. Personally, I think that the circumstances of Dream's fame, his personality and management of his fanbase, and his brand of content have resulted in the very specific kind of stan that Dream stans are. I don't think this is simply a case of "all fandoms have a small percentage of assholes who take it too far;" rather, the nature of the community itself breeds the kind of mentality of "an asshole who takes it too far." I only even know this because I was a Dream fan (kinda a stan, I'm ngl). At one time, I watched every single Dreamwastaken & Dream Team video multiple times; I listened to the Manhunts on repeat, as though they were podcasts; I followed mostly smiletwt and dttwt accounts on mcyttwt; I had upwards of 10 tabs for AO3 DNF fics open on my phone at a time; I watched DNF and Dream Team Being A Family-esque compilations on repeat; I watched every George and Sapnap alt stream I possibly could; I went out of my way to defend Dream against Redditors and Twitter antis regarding the cheating scandal. For the latter half of 2020, and a couple months of 2021, I lived and breathed this part of the fandom; so when I say that Dream stans are a whole other breed than any other kind of mcyttwt stan, I say that because I used to be like that, too. I usually use parasocial very loosely or ironically, but Dream stans are genuinely one of the most parasocial fanbases I have ever seen or been a part of. The level of investment Dream stans have in this man's life, the lengths they will go to to defend him, the amount of psychonalysis and digging they do on his life and character, the amount of emotion he can evoke in them- it's taken to another level, man. This isn't just characteristic of a fraction of his fanbase; this is what the fanbase is like as a whole.

Third, I partially disagree with your take on the HBomb thing, but not in the way one might think? I actually empathize with the way they reacted much more than I thought I would, simply because I suspect I have RSD (also suspect I have ADHD, have for several months now) and I can see myself getting insanely frustrated because of something like that. Like yeah, it was "just a MC stream" or "just an MC game," but that's kinda disregarding the fact that something that might seem like "just a [insert inconsequential thing]" to a rational mind might have a major emotional consequence/take a major emotional toll on someone with RSD, or really anyone who gets easily impatient/angry about video games (Sapnap reminds me of many of my friends, in that way). The issues I, personally, had with the way they handled the HBomb situation is that these are simply explanations and reasons for my empathy; they are not excuses. I have no excuse when I get irrationally angry about something inconsequential in my own life, for a couple of reasons. One, because I am an adult and I need to learn how to handle my reactions and manage my own anger. Two, because as someone with many mental problems, it is my responsibility to learn coping mechanisms to ensure my own emotional stability and livelihood; this includes learning whatever I need to handle RSD- whether that be isolating myself from others when I know I will become violently/passionately angry about something, creating and sustaining a support system that can get me through bouts of extreme emotion, finding healthy emotional outlets for my negative emotions that won't harm myself or others, or a combination thereof. I don't think what they said about HBomb post-MCC was an irreversibly horrible thing, or anything. I think there were errors committed by two men who should be fully capable of foreseeing and preventing those errors, but I don't unconditionally hate Dream or Sapnap for the post-MCC stream or comments. I just wish they had made amends quickly, publicly, and sufficiently, because the greatest consequences from the whole thing weren't even from those two criticizing HBomb themselves; they were from the waves of backlash because of their immense influence on the MCYT fandom, which could've been prevented, if they had acted maturedly and responsibly after the stream.

Fourth, you’re right, that he doesn’t seem to condone his fans’ behavior. I detest the frequent anti argument that one of the reasons Dream should be criticized is because he explicitly uses his fanbase to attack others, or something of the sort. Personally, I think he created his fanbase in a very specific way and interacts with them in such a way so as to benefit him as much as possible, yes, but he never actually tells his fanbase to go and yell at or harrass anyone. Still, there is a significant difference between not condoning something and condemning something. It might seem unfair, and it might be annoying of me to say this, but I truly think that someone with this large a fanbase, especially one as overzealous as Dream’s, needs to be condemned every single time it goes on some kind of rampage/harrassment campaign. Either that, or Dream needs to make a definitive, permanent statement against any kind of harrassment of others on his behalf. I know he’ll occassionally make the odd tweet or serious stream addressing something his fanbase did, but one of the many reasons his fanbase keeps doing the same damn thing is because he’s so lukewarm and spotty about this condemnation. A fanbase like his needs to be given explicit guidance and boundaries for the numerous things they do in his defense- harrassing/doxing antis, harrassing people who criticize him who aren’t antis (respectful criticism, other CCs, other MCYT stans, etc.), harrassing the people he critcizes (i.e., HBomb), speculating about his personal life (his relationship with his gf, his mental health/ADHD, his romantic life, his childhood, etc.), and speculating about his relationships with his friends and colleagues.  My personal ideology is that, if you have significant influence over someone or a group of people, you are at least somewhat responsible for the things those people do or don’t do, if it at all relates back to you. I’m so fucking tired of the argument that CCs aren’t responsible for what their fans do. Obviously they aren’t responsible for every single one of their fans, and obviously they can’t fully control their fans at the end of the day. But I think there are certain things that reach such a level of extremity that does make those CCs responsible. This can be measured by either scale or intensity; that is to say, if a CC’s fanbase does things on an extremely large scale, or one person from/a fraction of the fanbase does something really extreme, then the CC is made all the more responsible. Another CC I’ve always had trouble discussing with other people on this subject is Pewdiepie, in particular, about the extremists in his fanbase. Because the things a small handful of his fans have done in reference to him and/or in his name were so fucking extreme, I thought Pewdiepie had to take at least some responsibilty. Along a similar vein, because the things Dream’s general fanbase does are so widespread and on such a massive scale, Dream has to take at least some responsibility.

Fifth, okay. Hmmm. I want to tackle this point you made about the ableism he faces in some criticism of him carefully and with empathy, but not coddling. One, I do think a lot of the criticism he receives for the ways he handles criticism (post-cheating Tweets, reactions to John Swan, post-MCC HBomb stream, etc.), disregard his RSD and can be oftentimes ableist. I’ve actually encountered people irl who criticize this aspect of Dream’s character, and have had to explain to them their disregard for how ADHD/RSD affect neurodivergent people’s reactions to criticism. But - and this is a big, and very controversial but - I think mentally ill/disordered people can 100% leverage their mental illness/disorders for the sake of manipulation. This is actually something I’ve learned from a psychiatrist, regarding the ways people I know and I handle our anxiety and depression. This manipulation can be unwitting or intentional, but it is entirely possible, and the possibility shouldn’t be entirely dismissed as ableist. Living with a mental illness or disorder that others know about/that you are very public about puts you in an interesting position to receive frequent sympathy, empathy, and/or pity. I’m not saying that empathy for Dream having ADHD/RSD is entirely unjustified; on the contrary, I have frequently expressed how I can relate to his ADHD symptoms and have defended him for expressing those symptoms, both on mcytblr and in real life. I am saying that Dream fans tend to use his ADHD as a kind of shield for a lot of criticism levied against him, including the supposition that he could be manipulating his fanbase to defend him because of his public expressions of RSD. So yes, my theory is that Dream knows how to levy every aspect of his life for his personal gain and for the growth of his brand, and that includes his ADHD. I think he has courage for his openess about his ADHD, I think his openness has contributed to the rise in awareness of mental health and empathy for neurodivergent people within Gen Z, and I think at least some of his expressions of RSD publicly/online weren’t intentionally made public. All that being said, I also think he has to know just how much his fanbase cares about defending him for his ADHD, and I think he has to know that some of the things he does related to his neurodivergence endear him to his audience, in a coddling, baby-ing, mildly ableist sorta way.  Maybe this is all incredibly presumptuous of me. Of course, I can never know the real intentions behind any Dream video, Tweet, or stream. Maybe I’m just projecting, because I can see myself doing just this, if I had the maturity I had circa 2018-2019. Idfk know, man.

Sixth, I actually agree with you here, people probably do get more mad at his fanbase than him. Dream puts out content pretty seldomly, considering the frequency of content output for other Youtubers/streamers in his field/at his brand size. And yet, he has received masses of criticism. Considering that the things Dream himself does/says do not entirely correlate with the amount of criticism he receives, I think it’s a logical assumption that a lot of that criticism actually goes back to the size of his presence online, rather than the man himself. That is to say, because of the massive community he’s amassed, the exponential growth of his fanbase, their presence on every single social media site and in virtually every single Internet space/fandom, and the size of his metaphysical presence in his fields, Dream is much bigger than the man himself, so the criticism he receives will, at least in part, be a direct or indirect result of all these other aspects of the Dream brand.  Something I don’t think many Dream fans/stans, or even most MCYT fans in general, understand, is that Dream isn’t just “one guy” in the eyes of the Internet- at least, not anymore. He hasn’t been for nearly a year. Like Pewdiepie, Mr. Beast, and other CCs who have amassed similar levels of fame and wealth via Internet content creation, Dream is a brand now, and most people will treat him as such. He isn’t just some uwu soft boy playing Minecraft anymore. He is on a whole other level from any other MCYT in his friend circle or colleague interaction bubble. His words will never again live in a vaccum or private bubble, his friend circle will never again be under anything less than intense scrutiny, his past actions will never again be simple mistakes or silly errors, his words will never again be casual tweets or streams for laughs among a couple thousand followers. Dream’s name represents something much bigger than just the one man. As such, all aspects of his brand, including his fanbase, will tie back to him and, ultimately, to any general criticism of him.

I’m not saying I like any of this, and I actually think the evolution of influencers from people to a marketable brand with similar mechanisms, responsibilities, and liabilities as a corporation is some kind of late capitalism nightmare fuel; I’m just stating my own observations and theories as to why so much anti-Dream criticism seems to be directed at his fanbase, rather than him.

Seventh, he’s just a guy, you’re right, but I think a lot of the antis on Tumblr understand this more than you know. As I’ve seen it, the sentiment among much of the “DSMP stans DNI” crowd seems to be that of “Dream/other MCYTs are such ‘bad’ people, so why do their fans stick to these mediocre, racist men, when there are so many better people to watch/better content to consume?” We know this argument is flawed for many of the obvious reasons - the conflation of all MCYTs’ actions regardless of individual identity, the equating of a CC’s fanbase’s morality to that of the CC they enjoy watching, the exxageration of any error MCYT CCs have committed as bigotry/racism, the fundamental misunderstanding and misinformation that led antis to believe this exxageration of the facts, etc. But I want to focus on the general, underlying sentiment of, “why not watch someone better, when your creator is problematic?” Sometimes, I ask this of Dream stans. Yes, being mildly ignorant, getting involved in the scandals Dream has, and being a right-leaning/libertarian centrist in the recent past all seem like harmless things, all things considered. One could say Dream isn’t nearly as bad as many antis who are misinformed seem to believe, and that there are much worse CCs Dream stans could be watching and creating fan content for. But I think what Tumblr antis wonder is, aren’t there also much better MCYTs/CCs people could be watching and stanning? Because he’s just some guy, right? Is his content truly so exceptional or is he really so exceptional a person, that people have to stick by him, despite the things that spike up regarding his current or past actions? I think that’s what made me finally decide to stop watching Dream. I realized he was just Some Guy. The Dream Team was a comforting dynamic to indulge in, DNF was a cute ship to read and speculate about, and Manhunts were fun videos to watch; however, once the Reddit posts came out and I read them in-depth, the cost-benefit analysis tipped over to the “not worth it” side for me. I realized Dream’s content, while fun and comforting, was not entirely unique, and wasn���t worth sticking around for, given what I then knew about his past political leanings. If he is just Some Guy, then there are a hundred more like him out there. There a hundred more ships, a hundred more found family dynamics, a hundred more entertaining and skilled Minecraft players. So while I agree with you on the point of people being allowed to love him regardless because he is just a guy, at the end of the day, I think that, if we are to believe that sentiment or use that argument in such a manner, we should also understand the flip side- that, if he is just some guy, why is it worth sticking around? To that I say, maybe because people just enjoy the simple things they enjoy.

Anyways, I wholly agree with your tl;dr. Thanks for that insanely long ask, this was a fun thing to keep me occupied while I’ve been at work, facilitating Zoom sessions this whole morning.

[y4rdbird]

mcc 17 vod time: cyan edition baby

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii <3 this mcc when watching other team vods i had some thoughts and decided to post them here lol? not much too it. im not an expert nor am i anyone whos opinion you should value to so dont sweat it if you disagree lol. 

I'm not gonna go over every game and more of where i had something to say so <3 time to get into it i guess <3

starting off controversial lol. skybattle i. didn't really enjoy. cyans placement wasnt that notable but something I noticed is they kind of revolved their strat around dream? round one the way he dies bridging to mid and then asks for ponk to do it at that part so *he* doesn’t get sniped again aswell as just prioritizing himself over his teammates a bit? just didn't really vibe w me lol. its not anything id call an issue and more just something i noticed, and kind of reminded me of the funneling strat for dodgebolt (something dream is well known for) vs arrow splitting. i don't like funneling but i also main falsesymmetry for mcc so. i am biased lol. dream is obviously a bit more of a sweat compared to players like h or pete who prioritize making sure all there teammates are getting their own shots in while dream goes for the win for all of them by doing the majority himself. tldr he can be a sweat good for him. dream fans please dont maul me im but a humble blog

moving on from the opinion that's most likely to get me cancelled (/j) sands of time!!!!! i think their sot strat was super smart and while i don't know if its ever been used before id love to see it again in the future! karl as sandkeeper was a great decision as he was on top of comms and communicating when he had keys, how much sand, and when he needed them to give him more. dream was great at instructing them on what to do and saved alot of time not running back for vault keys but instead going on a set path intending to get the vault, instead of go in and pray you stumble upon it lol. the entire team worked well and its genuinely a shame they had a shit run in with those ravagers. comparing the scores, first place was 4300ish, and cyan had at one point 4500ish coins, meaning they would have gotten first if not for it. never forget the cyan 17 incident </3

buildmart. made me want to bang my head against the wall. i dont think i can elaborate on it without flying into a rage again so instead i am going to copy some portions from my commentary on it from discord <3 hope you all enjoy the rage from someone who has been pampered by grian buildmart pov

idk what to say other then their buildmart makes me want to cry. like oh my god. It is just very frustrating

he started off by having multiple people go to the same resource zone or the SAME BLOCK and ONLY do one build and it was just so inefficient

furthermore when Karl said he was going to grab other woods he told him not to????

 if your basing it off speed and you are ALREADY GETTING THE WOOD. HAVE HIM GRAB OTHER WOODS. YOU DONT NEED TWO PEOPLE GRABBING 12 PIECES OF FUCKING WOOD

It was hell actual hell

not only was he giving out confusing commands but he was just wasting manpower. during the treasure build he had ONE PERSON GET 3 DIFFERENT ORE BLOCKS AND 3 FUCKING PEOPLE GET SPRUCE

never going to forgive dream for having 3 fucking people get spruce

like tbh after THAT id fucking hate buildmart too. couldn’t be me though

focusing to get first completion isn’t a bad strat but doing one build only causes more point loss then gain. if they focused on two they could have done so much better because they could have easily divided into teams of two since they were only going to like. 2 locations each build and could have maintained the speed dream was pushing for

that concludes the ‘maybe its better if you do sit out for buildmart dream that made me want to cry’ segment of this post. thank you and goodnight

next up and last!!!! survival games!!! im not going too critical abt this but obv they were kind of losing morale and that can drastically affect performance. that being said DREAM HOW CAN YOU SUCK AT COMMS SO MUCH WHEN YOU DID SO WELL IN SOT!!! I HAD HOPE FOR YOU!!!! my heart is forever broken and trust shattered into oblivion <///3. getting serious though, this was a game where tommy got to really shine. he’s always been p good in my book and survival games is no exception. they went in with tommy leading and giving commands and dream kind of just. ignored them. and pushed to do opposite of what tommy wanted which ultimately kind of got them killed. and when it was just him and ponk very quickly went to taking the shots and just. idk disregarded what his team might want to say or have actually said. dream suffers a lot when he’s not in the leadership role because he just. cant listen to other people ig LMAO. dream himself has said he’s not good at teamwork so this isn't a big surprise, but still made it super frustrating to watch.

hmmm that is all me thinks.... once again this is my OPINION please do not burn me like a witch <3  this is all v lighthearted commentary and obv i didnt cover all of the games so this isnt some end all be all they are shit or not. idk if ill do another one of these posts but it was fun to make <3 i am now going to make a sammie <3 bye 

[thisdreamplace]

I had a nasty fight with my former bff. This was long ago. She did the whole 'boycotting me' thing at school and afterwards had a mutual friend pass her msg to me, saying "tell her [me] to get it into her skull that she's not the center of the world, who does she think she is? Stop acting like a #" Im simplifying the words, her actual words were nastier

I got thinking today abt this fight, and her comment abt me that is still way too fresh in my mind even tho I hadn't recalled it in 2-3 yrs!, and I actually decided to use the law to revise my friendship to feel better as what happened after the fight was shameful on my part. But before I knew it, I started rmmbring my relationship with her. How I became a total victim. Got so stuck on her validation, begged her to be friends with me (after I got the degrading msg. 🤕 silly me w/o a backbone lol) and stayed her 'bestie' for way too long. Only after it's all over im noticing smth messed up abt out 'feiendship'. It wasnf that normal I think. She would get so pissed if I did anything that went against her thoughts/beliefs/way (which is why she called me a selfish # that major fight). It was so subtle the way she showed her disapproval. To her, if I did anything not aligned with her, or even makih decisions on my own which didn't involve her, it was wrong. And had consequences like her beinf distant for days etc, or getting angry if I didn't mind read her bla bla, I just had to keep her at the top 24/7 and she expected everyone else to do the same... which I thought was normal... It wasnt. And what would be even more crazy is she never realized how that meant she always wanted the attention. That she always wanted it her way! It just makes me feel... Sad.... When I look back. How couldn't I have notived it before? I used to be strong headed, opinionated before I became 'besties' with her.. That all has changed. I wonder why -_-

It may be dumb on my part but with the weak mind and insecurity I had then, I took that fight/her reaction to the heart and internalisef this stupidiy (DENY MYSELF if the other alternative was denying HER. I didn't think it was wrong. For the oldme, it really wasn't wrong smh). Aaah I'm so sorry old me :(

This fight started bcoz she asked me for smth and I refused, instead of relenting like I always would, and I see now that her reaction (to me not being an obedient # to her ig?🤢) was basically her setting rules. It was wrong of me to refuse, yes, but why did she react that way? Why did this pattern continue? That everyone was selfish if they didn't think of her ;_; like how do u deal with this? And the icing is when I too started to defend her and make excuses for her all the time. And ik I'm making her out to be so strong, don't worry... I accept the strong only rule when the weak submit. And I was weak as hell, so its understandable this whole thing. I think 😅

Idk. I seen your posts abt eyipo with other anons so i hope u can tell me figure out what this was. Its clear to me she was projecting smth about me, and mb throughout our whole friendship she was projecting me. And I would think it was her hurting me, that she was right and I was wrong or maybe I did smth wrong. Mb I thought I deserved being punished that way?!

Today I suddenly had an aha moment and I realised... this is how a victim thinks. I didn't know I was a victim when I was living that stoey aka thought I was powerless. When in fact I really wasn't?! Haha still accepting I 555% created ALL that. The law can knock you out haha

Enough old story I just want to ask, what du u think the msg she sent to me was? Did I really deserve such a reaction (did I mention she included other girls in the boycot? 🤢) just for standing up for myself? What about the whole 'fight' aka showcase of power? And the entire yrs of being friends why did I never realize I was only hurting myself so much by putting her before me? And also, with the everyone pushed out thing, how did it fit in? Like why the hell did I give her too much power in validating me by giving in after the fight in the first place?, and while I did have some fun times (saying this so anyone else who reads this doesn't think it was pure torture lol. We had some common interests tyat no one else in the class shared when we first became 'friends'), deep down I was so unhappy so why didn't this reflect on her? I mean why didn't she ever sense just how much she'd hurt me, why didn't she see how much I put on the back burner coz of her?! Was it as she saw it as her right? I'm just so confused

This is still a bitter pill to swallow tbh but I have to face this in order to move on. This person and my life with her has left me wit many scars and I got to understand how I did this so I never attract such a person in my life again. Its not even abt bejnf a victim. As I said, these victimy things were subtle and I only noted them when it was too late and I was a shell, like she getting super pissed and disapproving if I had a differing opinion and me blowijg it out of proportion and tailoring my views or not expressing them so as to not feel the disapproval...thanks boycott conditioning ig? 😭 Aaaah even talking agaunst her rn is making me uncomfortable. Which makes me think I still am scared of her subconsciously even tho she's no longer in my life. Like, what in me made me choose her? I haven't healed, obviously by this ask as u can tell, but idk what is it in my self concept that had this whole thing in my past even happen

My friend, I also want to say I think you're a beautiful soul 🥺. And im sorry for the long ask lol. And I pray you'll always have all your desires. And plz, was it hard for u at first when u learned about u creating everything? The good, the bad, and the repulsive (like this story)? How did u get over old stories? Ty ty ty 😭

To begin with you're being really harsh on yourself. Like, I know it's hard, but it's never that serious. And trust me, this is something I have to remind myself of regularly. Because there have definitely been moments in life where I look back on myself in that moment, and I feel like I was pathetic and would slap myself if I could. But the truth is, there's just no need for any of that. We always did the best we could. We always did, period. We couldn't have done anything differently and this will continue to be true our entire lives. Looking back on the past with such overwhelming feelings, is really not needed. I get looking back to learn from it, but practice coming from a place of love and acceptance instead. It will help you grow, rather than get stuck back in this cycle of self-hate and confusion. Plus, you actually never need to analyze the past to grow but that's beyond the point right now.

To me, by reading your ask, the message she sent to you was clear. You feel you deserve less in life, you feel you're not good enough, you feel like a victim to life and others, you feel like you're not empowered or the operant power of your reality. It's not about her being wrong and you being right, and I get this is one of the hardest pills to swallow. Everyone is you pushed out. Therefore, there's simply no such thing as who is right and who is wrong anymore. It was only ever you.

When it comes to everyone is you pushed out, you have to understand this person isn't this way because that's who they are. They were that way because that's who you were. Inside of you, you brought their character to life. Therefore, the same way you are not stuck to such an undesirable self concept, neither is that person. It's not that you chose her and attracted her in. You were just dealing with yourself. That's what I hope you walk away from this response understanding. Because by thinking she was outside of you, you're missing the mark. And this is such an important concept to understand when it comes to the law of assumption, because it's really at the forefront of everything. People play such a huge role in our lives, whether it's relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc etc. So understanding how everyone is you pushed out actually works is extremely important.

So instead of putting all this blame on her or even putting the blame on yourself, all these memories really do is give you a glimpse into who you were at the time. It shows you the beliefs you held about yourself. It shows you what your self concept was. That's all it's doing. So in that way, there's actually no one to blame at all. I know it feels good to put blame, even when it's on yourself, but the truth is there's no room for blame when you learn about the law. You simply take responsibility and become empowered by the power you have held this entire time. And you practice making it work in your favor.

If you want to see how something was apart of your self concept, all you have to do is pay attention to what you are thinking/feeling. Shame, not being good enough, etc etc is all just stories you once held onto. Now you don't have to hold onto those stories anymore. Now that you know the power you hold, you get to make a new decision for yourself. Rather than ruminating of the painful past, allow it to be and know how that's not your story anymore.

Was it difficult for me to accept how I created everything? Yes and no. It's been a journey. While I could accept it logically, emotionally it was still very painful. Many times I wanted to cry and lash out when I felt alone and felt upset that no one was there for me. Although, I knew deep down it appeared that way because of my own concept of self. So yeah, it's been a journey. And it's honestly not always delightful. But this is the journey we have to take for the rest of our lives, so we might as well get used to practicing and applying these concepts. Instead of continuing to hold ourselves in such painful lights. I got through old stories, and I continue to get through old stories, by feeling all the pain that came up. By allowing myself to cry and feel however I felt like during those times. And in the back of my mind I knew I was getting stronger in my power. I knew how I would keep persisting once the pain subsided. And little by little, old stories fade more and more. That persistence to continue choosing better for yourself, is truly more powerful than it may seem in a difficult moment. Have trust in how it's all working out for you regardless.

Hopefully this is helpful! Thank you for your kind words. 💖

[simplybakugou]

maybe a scenario or headcanons abt dad!bakugou reacting to his daughter telling him she’s gay?

A/N: As a bisexual who hasn’t come out yet, this meant a lot to me :) Also, I will continue to use the name Suki because I’m not creative enough to come up with anything else lol Thanks for requesting and I hope you enjoy :)

Pairing: dad!bakugou x female!reader

Warnings: swearing; being outed

Word Count: 2,583

✐posted 04.27.2020✐

“Mom?” Suki called out, opening the door and setting her bag on the couch. She could hear the sound of pots and pans clunking against each other and the aroma in the house was making her mouth water.

Bakugou stuck his head out from the kitchen, looking at the front entrance where his eyes met his daughter’s. He went back into the kitchen. “You’re back already?” He called out.

Suki went to the kitchen to greet her father, looping her arm around his. “Mhm, I had an exam and got let out early.” She looked at the pan on the stove as Bakugou was sauteeing what looked like some vegetables. “Where’s Mom?”

Bakugou nodded upwards. “Upstairs.”

Suki patted her father’s arm. “Okay. I’ll be back.”

Bakugou narrowed his brows at her. “What am I, chopped liver? Mom is the first one you want to see right when you get home?”

Suki chuckled, kissing her father on the cheek. “It’s just girl stuff. It’ll be quick I promise!”

Suki continued to laugh as she heard Bakugou grumbling things under his breath like ‘girl stuff, like I won’t fucking understand’ and went upstairs. She knocked on her mother’s bedroom door, walking in with your word. You smiled at your daughter. “Suki, you’re home already?”

Suki nodded, explaining what she had told Bakugou. She crossed her legs on your bed, already feeling nervous. “I actually wanted to talk to you, Mom.”

“About what?” You asked, busy writing up reports that you weren’t able to complete at Bakugou’s agency.

Suki let out a deep sigh. “So you know how I… came out to you a few months ago?”

You looked up, realizing that this was going to be an important conversation and set your pen down on the table. “Of course I remember! What about that, sweetie?”

“Well, I have a girlfriend from U.A. and we’ve been dating for two months now. I wanted to introduce her to you guys,” Suki said bashfully.

You perked up, joining her on the bed. “Really?! I’m so happy for you, Suki! It’s your first girlfriend!”

Suki playfully rolled her eyes at her mother. “You don’t have to remind me, Mom. It’s kind of embarrassing that I’m a third year and I’m just getting a girlfriend now. You and Dad dated since your first year in U.A.”

“It’s not embarrassing at all! You just came to terms with your sexuality only a few months ago. If anything, I’d say it’s impressive that you got a girlfriend only a few weeks after,” you said, smiling at her.

Suki smiled back and immediately frowned afterwards. “I still haven’t told Dad. Yui really wants to meet you guys but she doesn’t know that I haven’t told Dad yet.”

You extended your arms out, hugging her. You wanted to tell her that Bakugou would love her no matter what she did but you knew it wasn’t that simple. Something so complex like sexuality or sexual orientation can be hard for people to address and those who don’t have to “come out” due to their heterosexuality wouldn’t understand the stress and anxiety that comes with coming out.

You rubbed her back. “You can tell him whenever you’re ready. There’s no rush and you don’t have to force yourself. I’m sure Yui will understand if you need more time, too.”

Suki pulled away, shaking her head. “No, I want to tell him. I feel bad that I already told you and he doesn’t know. Plus I want you guys to meet Yui. I was planning on telling him today anyways.”

You raised your brows at her. “Today? Are you sure?”

Suki nodded. “I’ve been pushing it off if I’m being honest but I’m not going to anymore.”

You smiled again. “You do whatever you think is best for you. And I’ll fully support you with everything.”

Suki nodded, thanking you. She got up, turning to face you again. “If it’s alright, I want to tell him alone. Just Dad and I.”

You nodded, raising your fists up for her. “I’m cheering for you up here!”

Suki laughed, raising her fists up as well before closing the door and heading downstairs. Her heart was racing against her chest and she let out a deep sigh, her hand resting against her chest as a way to calm herself down. As she came down the steps, Bakugou was done cooking, serving everything onto three plates. 

Bakugou looked over to the dining room, noticing Suki lurking. “Did you talk about ‘girl stuff’ with Mom?”

Suki nodded with a nervous smile. “Mhm, she’s working still though.”

Bakugou looked puzzled. “She’s not coming for dinner?” Suki shook her head and Bakugou sighed, holding one plate in hand. “That damn girl works too hard for her own good. You can start eating, I’m gonna bring this up to her.”

Suki nodded, watching her father’s back as he began walking up the stairs. So far only a few select friends of hers and you knew about Suki being a lesbian. Suki told you because she always was more emotional to you and connected with you ever since she hit puberty. Bakugou would never admit it, but he missed the days when Suki was a kid and was always clinging to his side rather than yours. But since she hit puberty, she became closer to you and Bakugou couldn’t help but be disappointed. 

Suki had also researched how other people on the internet came out to their parents. She initially wanted to copy one of those methods but opted out of it, not feeling comfortable with any of those methods. She sighed, getting up and sitting down on the couch and turning the TV on. She heard Bakugou close your bedroom door and emerge down the stairs. He looked at his daughter, going to the table and grabbing the plates and handing one to Suki before joining her on the couch.

Bakugou looked over at his daughter who was visibly distraught to the point where the chopsticks were shaking in her hand. “What’s bothering you?”

Suki was surprised, momentarily forgetting about how observant her father was. “Nothing, I’m just worried about exams and graduating on time.”

Bakugou waved her off, propping his legs up onto the coffee table. “You’re fine. You’ve always been on the top of your classes and I’m sure you’ll continue to blow those other shitty kids out of the water.”

Suki smiled, looking down at the plate. The TV suddenly changed to a notorious gossip channel, one that covers subpar stories about pro heroes and other famous individuals. Bakugou groaned at the sight of it. “These fuckers always piss me off.”

Suki laughed at her father’s reaction, never really watching these kinds of channels. That was why she was shocked by the sight before her.

“And we’re back today giving you another juicy story. This one involves pro hero, Ground Zero,” a woman says, smiling brightly at the camera.

Bakugou looked at the TV screen with confusion. “Ground Zero? What the hell did I do?”

“I’m sure it’s nothing. Probably some annoying rumor.” Suki shrugged.

“As everyone is aware, Ground Zero has been married to a pro hero (H/N) for nearly two decades. They have a daughter, Suki, who is currently enrolled in U.A. High, the same high school Suki’s parents went to. Well, sources have claimed that a few students have seen Suki close with Nakamura Yui, another rising hero in U.A. These sources have also claimed that Nakamura and Suki are in fact dating meaning--”

The sound of glass breaking echoed throughout the room as Suki stared at the screen in horror, her hands shaking as a picture of her and Yui holding hands was displayed on the screen.

Bakugou flinched at the sound of the glass breaking and was shocked at the sight before him. Before he could say anything, Suki got up quickly, rushing up the stairs and slamming the bathroom door behind her.

“Suki!” Bakugou called out, setting his plate aside and going after her. You emerged from your room, confused and startled at the sound of the plate and the door slamming.

“What’s going on?” You asked.

Bakugou clenched his hands into fists. “Those fuckers on that celebrity news channel outed her. I’m gonna fucking kill them.”

You gasped, covering your mouth with your hand. You knew how nervous Suki was about this, how she wanted to tell Bakugou and everyone else in her own way. And the fact that a gossip channel of all things took this away from her was something that was hurting Suki in a way she couldn’t even describe.

You knocked on the bathroom door gently. “Suki? Sweetie, please open the door. It’s okay.”

Suki didn’t respond but you and Bakugou were able to hear a whimper of a sob escape her lips from the other side of the door. You continued knocking, trying to convince your daughter to open the door.

You sighed, moving your hand from the door and turning to your husband. “Maybe we need to give her some space.”

Bakugou stayed silent for a moment, thinking. He looked over to you. “I’m gonna ask you something and I want you to be honest with me.” You paused, nodding anyways. “I’m just asking ‘cause you didn’t seem surprised. Did you know already? About her having a girlfriend?”

You looked over at the door, holding Bakugou by the hand and leading him to your bedroom. You didn’t want Suki to have to listen when she was feeling so upset. “Suki came out to me a little over two months ago.” Noticing your husband’s withdrawn expression, you held your hands up in defense. “She didn’t keep it from you because she didn’t want to tell you, I swear. It’s just that this is something that is so important to her and she wanted to do it properly. She’s always worked to make you proud, you know that Katsu. So please don’t get upset that she told me first.”

Bakugou shook his head. “I’m not upset that she told you first. You two have always been closer but I’d never turn this situation around and make it about me when she’s so upset.”

He looked over at the closed bathroom door once more, approaching it slowly. He raised a fist to the wood, knocking gently. “Suki? Can you open up?” 

There was a moment of eerie silence until you were able to hear the door click as it unlocked. Shuffling could be heard on the other side and Bakugou opened the door, closing it behind him but leaving it ajar. Suki was against the wall, seated on the floor. Her legs were held up to her chest, her head buried in her knees with her arms shielding her face. Bakugou walked over, sitting down next to her. He had no idea what to do, how to comfort her daughter after such a vulnerable secret was wrongfully exposed to the public.

Bakugou sighed, looking ahead at the closed door. “I’m not gonna sit here and say some bullshit like ‘I understand what you’re going through’ because I can’t begin to understand what you’re feeling, and I probably will never understand. But I’ll be damned if I can’t at least try and make you feel better, Suki. I get that coming out is a big thing and that it’s scary for you, but I’m your dad. There’s nothing you could ever do that would make me feel ashamed to have you as my daughter.”

Suki lifted her head up, her cheeks red as the tears streamed down her face. She sniffled, resting her chin on her forearms. “I was so scared, Dad. I wanted to tell you myself and they… they took it away from me.”

His hands clenched into fists once more and he could already imagine dealing with everyone involved with the reveal of this news story both legally and physically. It pained him to see how hurt Suki, his daughter and only child, was about this and hearing how badly she wanted to come out herself to him, Bakugou wrapped an arm around her shoulder, rubbing her bicep. “It’s not too late, ya know. What was it you wanted to tell me?”

Suki let out a breathless laugh, shaking her head. “This is stupid. You already know.”

Bakugou shook his head, feigning innocence. “I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.”

Suki’s lips curled into the slightest and smallest smile, looking over to her father. Despite knowing that he already knew, she couldn’t help but feel her heart beating out of her chest and her breathing quickening. She took a deep breath in and out before looking Bakugou right in the eye. “Dad, I’m gay.”

Bakugou smiled, leaning in and embracing his daughter, his arms wrapping around her tightly. Suki couldn’t help but begin to sob as the comfort of his warm embrace engulfed her. He felt so gentle in that moment, making her reminisce on moments from her childhood. She felt so safe, knowing that now both her parents accepted her. “You’re safe, Suki. Mom and I love you no matter what you do or who you love. All we can ask for is for you to be happy and do whatever the fuck you want to do with your life because it’s your life. We’ve never asked of anything from you except for you to try your best.” 

Suki pulled away, rubbing her eyes to rid them of the tears. “I know. You guys have always been so accepting of everything and I was just so scared that I was letting you down. Most parents want their kids to get married and have a bunch of kids in the future, you know?”

“You can still get married and have a bunch of kids with your future wife, there’s nothing holding you back. Being gay doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to feel the same happiness as straight couples.” Bakugou rubbed the remainder of the tears from Suki’s face. “And I’ll fuck anyone up who has something to say about that, and I don’t give a shit if it’s a kid either.”

Suki laughed at the thought of her father picking a fight with a kid, a weight lifting from her chest. She looked over at the door, knowing full well that you were on the other side, listening intently. “Mom?”

You practically threw open the door, revealing your teary-eyed expression. Bakugou sighed, shaking his head. “Why the hell are you crying, Y/N?”

You sniffled, sitting down in front of them on the floor. “I’m just so happy, okay?”

Suki laughed again, wrapping one arm around Bakugou and the other around you, bringing the three of you close to each other. “You guys are the best! I really have the best parents ever!”

The tears came pouring out of your eyes as you started sobbing. “Suki!”

Bakugou snickered. “Really hope your girlfriend isn’t a fucking softie like this one here.”

You swatted his arm, arguing with him as Bakugou continued teasing you. Suki laughed the whole time, feeling like she could actually breath for the first time. Coming to terms with your sexual orientation is terrifying but also freeing. The fear of others judging you for something so important like sexual orientation is nerve-wracking but having people that support you no matter what outweighs any criticism that could ever come your way.

After all, love is stronger than any form of hate.