#that post triggered a lot in me
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ummm….. so. the mondoblr server made a joke, and i liked it a little too much.
the kiyotaka ishimaru iceberg!!
of course, i wasn’t the only one who worked on this. big thanks to @pompadorbz @chinchillasinunison @mini-mecha-cowboy @cryzono and @ecogirl2759 for all the help, whether it be contributing entries or finding sources!! we had a ton of fun putting this together, and i hope you guys like it!
reblogs are greatly appreciated because all of these lovely people (and i) put a lot of work into this!! they deserve it!!
(under the cut will be a link to the document with all the entries and some links to sources for most of them. HUGE thanks to eco for popping the absolute fuck off and finding all these links for us!!! (and thanks to mark and @panicuriprince for helping us out towards the end!))
#my mom seeing me typing away on my laptop: are you doing homework??#me who's been working on this iceberg for the past few hours: uh... yeah!#anyways. i love mondoblr server#ya'll are so cool for helping me with this dumb idea.#danganronpa#danganronpa trigger happy havoc#kiyotaka ishimaru#kiyondo ishida#ishimondo#lots of this info has to do with the ishimondos so...#danganronpa meme#danganronpa shitpost#ramblepuff#also what a strangely fitting thing to post on this account’s 2nd birthday
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the sneak pics have me wondering why peter feel the need to keep apologizing all the time ? is it because adults used to get mad at him all the time ?
yeah he has a LOTTT of unpacking to do with that. he still thinks that because he did things like this, it gave the adults around him the excuse to yell at/say nasty things to him. peter goes into a lot of detail with Dick about his previous foster homes in chapter 15, and this time Dick knows he has to ask because Peter's response to Dick and Wally realizing he knew about the "glitches" in some way and didn't tell Dick is absolutely heartbreaking
#i won't post that as a sneak peek#because it's got some content i'll have to trigger warning in the next chapter#this chapter has a LOT of discussion about child abuse#but peter (even if he's been going to therapy) doesn't notice a lot of his reponses#like he's decently aware of the ones that he finds childish/stupid/shameful#like running from problems and etc#but he has a response in this first scene that shatters dick's heart#and peter doesn't even notice that it happened#erinwantstowrite#ao3#ao3 fanfic#leap of faith ao3#peter parker#leap of faith catch me if you can#dick grayson#thank you for the ask!#chapter 15
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"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.
(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)
#my dc posting#dc#jason todd#jaybin#im having so many thoughts abt jaybin and he is so important to me#in one fic he went on a hunger strike bc alfred didnt eat w them and did it for so long they had to compromise#i love a jaybin 100% willing to menace and bother batman until the man folds. as is his right#the thing abt jason's backstory is that it shows him unwilling to suffer for a home#ma gunn's is bad; he gets beat up and she tries to get him to help rob a place. so he leaves! and rats the whole thing out to batman#and shows up himself cus he didnt think he had been believed#and lets not forget the fact he hit batman with a tire iron and called him a 'big boob'!#the boy's got moxie!! let jaybin be crass and angry and sassy and flawed and traumatized without reducing him to 2d caricature of a 'troubl#d kid'#i dont like a jason who did nothing but use excessive violence and disobey orders and be cocky and all that shit#i like a jason who was. oh yknow. a complex person!! a child/teen who has been fucking abused!!!#you shouldnt erase the fact that jason's reaction/response to stressful situations and triggers IS anger#it's not an indication that he was always gonna become a criminal/red hood or whatever. get outta here w that shit#but like. let us not go so far in the other direction we forget to have him react and be affected by the abuse he's suffered#anyway. if anyone should be a drama-queen it should be jaybin. once he becomes truly comfortable w bruce he should dial it up to 11#a lot of red hood's appeal (to me&many others) is that he is an 'imperfect' victim. meaning he is angry and flawed and doesnt suffer quietl#but is loud and obvious abt it#so when i see jaybin written as the opposite its like. man whats that about#anyway. jaybin is good and cares and wants to help and protect people. and by god if i ever see anybody writing#him having arguments with bruce about the no kill rule WHILE robin again im gonna throw hands istg-#my tags are like a hidden treasure box. most of what i say is in here lmao
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need u to share your kandrew agenda 🫶 tell me all about them
ALL about them? dangerous territory my friend...but i will try my best
kandrew are my favorite pair of worsties like i'm not even kidding i love writing them as friends to lovers because they could be having r-rated pg 18++ thoughts about each other at any given moment but they will die before they confess. im talking off the charts sexual tension okay the air is fucking charged. i do have a few fics on them but they're building up to kandreil...sadly no solos yet...
my brain says (🤓☝️) they have an understanding that goes deeper than a lot of the other relationships kevin has. i think one of andrew's best qualities is to listen to someone talk about the worst thing that has happened to them and not overreacting or coddling them afterwards (which is something im personally fond of and love to see) so he may as well have been a tether for kevin when he left the nest. (not to mention how similar jean and andrew are and going from one 3 to another would fit kevin well) to me, if someone sees them together at times they'll feel like andrew and kevin DETEST each other. they're ultimate bickering couple, constantly roasting each other, arguing as a build up to sex, they drink like their life depends on it, they hate each other, they're in love and i am watching all this with popcorn. they get each other tbh like they get it. they may not fully understand but they do get it.
also something about a dog collar but that thoughts not fully developed yet.
have some memes that might help:
#wymack hates them#loathes them really#if u wanna know smthn specific then u can ask ofc!!! i know most of this was pretty vague#aftg#kevin day#andrew minyard#kandrew#there's a lot more to say tbh#like i actually love fwb kandrew because of how hesitant they both seem to admit their feelings#but we all know that doesn't work#just feel like they'd be physically and humorously and emotionally present and comfortable around each other a lot of the time#but both of them have easy triggers and bad tempers which is a recipe for disaster and angst and i love that hehe#eeeeeeee they're actually really funny to me i love writing them have fun and then makeout#wheres that one post about how everyone should actually imagine kevin day bent over a desk with andrew doing unspeakable things to him#hmmm#i think kandrew is the most physically affectionate kevin ship i like
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I'm thinking about Curly and the fact the fandom is kinda slowly turning on him and starting to,,, blame him? More than Jimmy? And I've just been thinking about that
Like the takeaway from the game that Curly did not do the right thing and was not good at taking care of the crew is DEFINITELY an important, if not the most important, takeaway. Being constantly aware of toxic masculinity causing the bystander effect in others who feel like they have to cover for the toxic ppl is VERY IMPORTANT and I don't want to confuse people into going "Curly did nothing wrong!" "He's just a victim too it's not his fault!" "He didn't need to be responsible for Jimmy's actions!" Cuz that's just dangerous
But I do wanna dive into the fact that I think his actions (lackthereof) aren't just due to toxic masculinity and that feeling many cis men have where they have to cover for other toxic men and try to downplay all negative situations. Maybe it's just that I relate too much to Curly but it really seems to me that, after Anya, he's the most abused by Jimmy.
Like, I rewatched the Curly's Birthday Party scene where Jimmy not only berates him BRUTALLY but does so IN FRONT OF EVERYONE ELSE (/nm) AND Curly doesn't stand up for himself after the first few attempts, which will come back later. Jimmy verbally abuses him so comfortably (seen via 1.him doing it in front of everyone else 2.the fact he got Curly to shut up really fast and 3.the fact nobody stepped in to help Curly/stop Jimmy (which in Anya's case is so fair she was like having a panic attack but I was really expecting Swansea to say something or Daisuke to try and defuse)) really makes it seem like that's a common occurrence. The fact that the crew is used to it just feels like not only has he done that before but he does it frequently enough that even Daisuke, the last minute new hire, is used to it
Like when I first saw that scene my first thought was oh shit Jimmy really does abuse EVERYONE indiscriminately. But it kinda seems like the fandom forgot how quick and comfortable he was verbally abusing Curly On His Birthday Celebration, In Front Of Everyone.
And then, what I said earlier about Curly trying to fight back a little at first before giving up and just taking the beratement 100% applies to the scene where Jimmy beats Curly after giving him his pills. The same thing happens there, Curly screams out at first but eventually stops and just whimpers/cries while Jimmy beats him until he's done, at which point Curly starts full-on crying.
And again, this doesn't absolve him of the fact he didn't help Anya. Not one fucking bit. Like, as much as it's played for irony in game it was, to a pretty big extent, his responsibility as captain to make sure that his crew could coexist. And he SHOULD have done more to stop Jimmy. I'm not saying he's innocent, I'm saying that the assumption that he was a bystander to Jimmy's actions simply due to toxic masculinity influencing men to cover for one another is a little inaccurate. It's definitely the more important takeaway because being conscious of the dangers around you is important. It's just that seeing the specific ways he was abused by Jimmy and how he reacted to it makes me feel like it was less of a toxic masculinity thing and more of a Fawn response thing, because he DEFINITELY was a victim of Jimmy's abuse too. And I feel like that's a little important, both to show how men can abuse and manipulate one another and to show how abuse in general can make more than the abuser a danger to others (in the sense of people who are abused are less likely to speak out when they see other abuse, because they're used to it (speaking from experience, not being an asshole)). But I really don't want this leading people to baby Curly and excuse him from not sticking up for Anya more, cuz it's not an excuse, it's an explanation, a further development. He is still at fault for not doing more, but I this the reason he didn't do more isn't a toxic masculinity thing but an abuse victim thing
(Also it's interesting to see how Jimmy doesn't fuck with Swansea very much. I assume it's because he knows he can't topple Swansea, yet he's already toppled Curly and Anya so they're the easiest victims of his abuses. He knows Swansea would fight back, but he already has Curly wrapped around his little finger and Anya severely traumatized so he just focuses on them instead. Also this is in reference to the fact he doesn't try to go around Swansea and get into the Util/Cryopod room until he thinks Anya's hurt Curly. It's like he's afraid of Swansea, which he should be <3)
#mouthwashing#Mouthwashing Jimmy#Mouthwashing curly#this is mostly abojt curly tbh#it just bothered me that the abuse subtext was so quickly ignored#like the toxic masculinity/covering for other men thing is definitely the more pressing takeaway#but I think talking about the abuse is important too#maybe it's just that I relate to curly so I don't like how hard he's behind demonized but I'm trying to not let that cloud my judgement#but I really do think the abusive part of Jimmy and Curly's relationship explains a lot#this was kinda triggered by a post saying that everyone reacted with Flight/Fight/Freeze/Fawn and the post had attributed-#-fawn to Anya and Freeze to Curly#but I really feel like it's the other way around#cuz Anya made calculated decisions to kill up to Jimmy. it didn't seem like a trauma response#but Curly did it entirely subconsciously#Anya moreso just let him walk over her. which to me seems more like Freeze than Fawn#but I'm not a psychologist so don't take my word on that#I just feel this way cuz of how much I relate to curly. like the amount of traumas he went through that I did too is shocking#like I get why he's characterized in game the way he is. I see his thought process and reactions and feelings#don't ask who I am <3#captain Curly#typo in the tags#Anya tried to KISS UP to Jimmy not Kill up to Jimmy#also I hate how negative that phrase is#like I need a different phrase that doesn't blame the victim instead of ''kiss up to''
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i appreciate the curiosity and desire to understand when people ask me what growing up religious/in a cult was like, how religion and religious trauma impacts me, why i'm so against christianity, but i kind of dread those questions now because it's so... impossible to explain it properly. i don't know how to explain to people that don't have that experience that it's everything and it's a million little things.
#like. there's a reason my therapist didn't really get the religious trauma until we had been working on it every week for at least a year#i keep trying to write this post and explaining it but i keep dissociating and like#that's part of it too#there are a lot of things i don't remember that only come to me when i'm triggered/having a flashback#there are a lot of things that are normalized so even when i realize they're traumatizing#other people don't#there are a lot of things that don't sound very upsetting and only make sense in the context of larger things#there are some things you can't understand the weight of unless you've been in it#there are some thing you just straight up forget until something reminds you of it#there are just... so many bits and pieces that make up what makes it traumatic#and xtianity is so fucking normalized that nobody blinks an eye about it#if i never have to explain my religious trauma to a MHP again it will be too soon#religious trauma#ex christian#ex cult
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really starting to think that many of you aren't as anticapitalist as you portray yourselves to be or if you are it's in a very shallow, self-centered, and most of all WHITE way
#me#a lot of you want socialism so that your life can improve and that's it#no sense of solidarity or self reflection#this was triggered by a post that was like 'travel while we have a functioning DOT and read books on feminism and support the biden admin!'#no lessons were learned you all really DID just want to go back to brunch after all#no i will NOT be supporting the loser dems they failed they need to be punished for their genocide#in the meantime we need to care for each other sincerely and not just in platitudes
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Guys listen I'm once again having ideas that I cannot draw. Consider:
A brief look of rage on Calypso as odysseus calls out for /a different goddess/
#epic the musical#Calypso#Odysseus#Love in paradise#Concept ideas that I cannot draw#Tw: Calypso keeping odysseus as a sex slave for seven years#Tw:rape#Or at the very least trigger warnings for some one being aggressively into you when you've already told them no multiple times#And being manipulative and feeling entitled to do whatever they want with you#Anyway debates about how severe Calypso's actions were aside#Calypso is a jealous goddess who has been trying to get odysseus to willing ask her for help for years#And HATES when odysseus mentions anything or anyone from the outside world#And here he is calling out to a different goddess for help when said goddess abandoned him?#When she's right fucking there?!!!#You know she'd be so so pissed#I make a lot of posts exploring Calypso and odysseus's time together which might make it seem like#I hate Calypso and I don't I actually really like her character#There's a lot of nuance and pain for me to dig my fingers into and play with which is my favorite and#I can also just recognize she was a victim that turned around and victimized other people and that she's an antagonist so
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one of my favorite senarios to imagine to put yukio in is sending him 10 years into the future (with the exwires usually) and everyone from their class are like chill adults including himself working their boring ass exorcist job and hes trying to assert dominance over them as the teacher™ but they're all like bro why so serious?
#somehow in my future au i accidently made only the boys active exorcists im so sorry to all the women in aoex#they all passed but i think shiemi and izumo would leave to persue other passions but still be in ajacent fields#like shiemi still runs her exorcist shop#idk what izumo does maybe she still is an exorcist but shes on leave trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life#cuz so much of her adolescence was focused vengence for her family i think she would be kinda lost as an adult#ive said this a bunch of times but rin isnt actually an exorcist for the same reason izumo isnt#ive been kinda muddy on my own timeline but either he passed and left or he dropped out of school and ran away#i think hes like an independent demon slayer like a contract worker#so he still is basically an exorcist but not sanctioned by the vatican like as part of a mercenary guild or something#but he can still take exorcist missions if he wants to but usually its not worth it so he just helps out yukio or bon on their missions#i think after being a literal terrorist yukio got demoted and lost his license for a bit so hes still the same rank as he is now#but now hes medicated and he went to therapy#he has like no memory of highschool to almost a concerning degree and hes generally pretty muted but is still well liked#bon had a completely normal exorcist experience against all odds actually so did koneko except koneko went back to the myoda#and then shima got scouted for his amazing spy skills and works overseas#sorry shima ur not allowed to be an idol that might be the trigger for the bad end#anyway i think teen yukio would hate adult yukio because he thinks hes not allowed to be normal and happy#this is like the 4th time ive made this post like i said its one of my favorites#the reverse is rin going to the past and like tutoring the exorcist class#nobody wants to do yukio psychoanalysis but me so i gotta step up to the plate#jk theres a lot of good yukio fanfics#blue exorcist#ao no exorcist#yukio okumura#rin okumura
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The biggest shoutouts to selfshippers with f/os who mostly have ship content made of them. If it’s hard to look for solo content of your f/o because everything is shipping, remember that you know them better than anyone else. You do not need to feel obligated to ship something or headcanon a character the same way that a lot of people do. They love you!!! Their love for you and your love for them is what matters the most. Do not ever allow other people’s opinions to sway you into abandoning a selfship that’s important to you.
#I love you selfshippers who like a canon ship with their f/os too#so dw in that case#this is just targeted towards selfshippers who do not#don’t feel pressured by anyone to ship something or headcanon your f/o a certain way#just because a lot of people do#one of my main f/os became super shipped with another character and now they all hc her as a sexuality that doesn’t include me#and it makes me like more than just uncomfortable it lowkey triggers my gender dysphoria#also one of my qpp f/os that I hc as aroace is almost exclusively posted about in the context of romantic ships it’s so tragic 😭😭😭#obviously don’t harass anyone for shipping something else or headcanoning a character differently but we’re all proshippers here#we know that#also don’t let anyone tell you that being a proshipper means that you can’t have boundaries or be personally uncomfortable with ships
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This. This. This entire conversation with Morrigan actually makes me want to sob. She and my Tabris always becomes close friends over the course of DAO; that, paired with the fact that my Tabris always romances Alistair, makes everything about this hurt so much more when you take DAO's ending into account.
Her confusion over why my Tabris didn't send her away. Why she didn't abandon her after they learned of Flemeth's plans. Why Tabris went out of her way to slay Flemeth and bring her the true grimoire. She asks Tabris why, and is baffled when the answer is, "I did it because I'm your friend," as if it's that simple.
The way Morrigan looks at the warden, the way her voice cracks when she says, "I want you to know that while I may not always prove... worthy... of your friendship, I will always value it."
She knows how this will end; Flemeth sent her with the wardens with the end goal of stopping the blight and obtaining the old god soul through the dark ritual. Morrigan knows that Alistair and Tabris are the only Grey Wardens here, and assuming they don't find more, one of them will have to die defeating the archdemon unless they agree to do the dark ritual.
With that context, her asking Alistair, "And what if a Grey Warden has forced to choose between the Warden he loved and ending the Blight? What should his choice be?" suddenly has so much subtext weaved through the words that I'm gonna start foaming at the mouth. She's practically telling Alistair that a warden has to die. She's scrutinizing his reaction to find any hint that suggests he would agree to the dark ritual in order to save himself and the woman he loves. And when he doesn't choose, she has her answer.
Morrigan made comments to Tabris about him, almost hopeful that their relationship was just a physical thing between them and not actually riddled with feelings... and then gives disapproval when Tabris says she loves him.
She doesn't want the warden to die; hell, she doesn't want Alistair to die, either; whether because she does actually care about him or because she knows it'll break her friend's heart if she loses him, or both!
Things would be so much easier if the only two Grey Wardens left to defeat the blight didn't fall in love, wouldn't they, Morrigan?
She knows that in the end, no matter the outcome, she will lose the woman she called sister and it's devastating.
Morrigan, who has never known true friendship. Who grew up isolated in the woods with an abusive mother and terrible implications for her future. Who discovered said mother planned to take over her body just as she did with her other daughters. Who doesn't understand kindness as it was rarely given to her without a catch. Who isolates herself from the others in camp. Who finally has a companion she cares about... and in the end, if her plan works and the dark ritual is completed, she'll end up pregnant and alone and wearing Tabris' resentment like a tender wound on her heart.
Or Tabris will reject the ritual, and will die to the archdemon.
Or her lover will.
I just- the dynamic between the warden, romanced Alistair, and Morrigan is so good and painful and rich that I'm gnawing on furniture as we speak.
#dragon age origins#dao#alistair theirin#dao alistair#dao morrigan#dao tabris#warden tabris#i'm replaying dao right now in case my recent written posts haven't made that obvious#the relationship dynamics the warden has with each of the companions is so so soooo good like there isn't a companion i dislike#i play into the slow burn with alistair's romance but it's not even just the romance aspect it's also their friendship too#playing dao and not romancing alistair would feel wrong at this point for me it's so crucial to the entire story and its development#and i love morrigan's friendship with the warden and how gutted tabris is when she comes clean about everything and offers the ritual#and then bails once everything is over and tabris is torn between hating her and feeling hurt and not wanting morrigan to be alone again#i talked more in depth about morrigan and the ritual in a previous post but it's a lot... especially when it comes to the witch hunt dlc#oh and then there's the friendship between tabris and zevran like don't even get me started on that sksksks i won't be able to stop#even a character like oghren who is the last person you'd think tabris would ever become friends with since he's y'know *oghren*#but i'll go on the record and say there's more to oghren that gets overlooked and overshadowed by his glaring flaws#and i don't wanna talk about leliana... she makes me too sad like ever since my last playthrough where i accidentally triggered her romance#while i was deep in alistair's romance i have a really hard time not reading into the things she says to tabris#in my last playthrough i dunno what i did but she confessed to tabris even though she was fully aware that tabris and alistair were togethe#and it was a *mess* okay like it really felt like we killed marjolaine and leliana was in a vulnerable position yet was hardened enough#to be like 'i know she and alistair are together but i'll take my shot anyway and attempt to break them up' like.... noooooo leliana D:#and the rest of the game it felt like she was bitter and still in love with tabris and i felt *horrible*#i just said i don't wanna talk about it but hhhnnngggg i'm taking extra precautions to not have a repeat of that this time#excuse my tag ramblings i'm just very passionate about dao and the companions okay#also want to note that this is my interpretation of morrigan's motivations based on how i play the game and my warden#so others might view this reaction and the warden/romanced alistair/morrigan dynamic differently and in that case#i would be interested to hear that different interpretations because those are always fun to read
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the second readthrough of world trigger is where it really kicks in
#my post#world trigger#the first read is really good. it's just that the second read is incredible. and the third gets even better. and the fourth. and the fifth#i might even go so far as to say you haven't fully experienced it. until the second read. bc there is sooooooo much you will appreciate#when you have the knowledge of what comes later. and familiarity with the protags so you can actually pay attention to side characters#who this manga really rewards paying attention to. fans of the other teams in naruto would beg on their knees for their faves to get the#kind of ongoing presence and progression of even wt's fairly minor side characters like taichi or teruya#it's a little overwhelming at first but my god does wt handle its ensemble cast fantastically. while never losing sight of its protags#im so mad the official translation didn't keep the honorifics so we can get even more information on the fantastic web of relationships....#anyways read world trigger! the shonen battle manga with sports series charm. as i have been known to say#tbh i think it's the kind of shonen battle manga that will really appeal to people who stopped reading shonen battle manga haha.#extremely subversive but in very understated and subtle ways. like how its underdog protag is a REAL weak loser underdog (compliment)#the combat is actually interesting (idgaf about 99% of action sequences in any medium. but i fucking love every single fight in wt)#the female characters actually get writing and presence and cool shit. without being subjected to like. any sexualization at all.#and don't discount chika just cause she looks like the typical Demure Shonen Girl at first. she is way more interesting than that#you can tust me#it has its flaws like anything else but i like it. i like it a lot. <understatement of the century
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Not "Robin Jason was just an angry, violent, aggressive brat", not "Robin Jason was a perfect, innocent, complete sunshine child" but a secret third thing (Robin Jason was a child who'd suffered abuse and trauma his whole life and never got the proper tools to heal from it; he was happy and silly, and he got angry and could be difficult)
#my dc posting#dc#jason todd#jaybin#robin jason todd#no he wasnt a devil child and no he wasnt a perfect sunshine angel#im much more receptive to the latter bc at least its not demonizing a traumatized child#or victim blaming someone for getting murdered#but it still feels like a big disservice to who he is#and not to be projecting/relating to jason on main but-#my life hasn't been half as bad as his but when any complexity to jaybin is denied bc he Wasn't Bad Like That it feels. bad#my trauma&mental health issues did (and do) make me difficult. when i was 13 i was angry and had a hair-trigger temper#interpreted everything in bad faith etc etc. i was difficult and a lot of work and i was suffering and deserved love and help#(which i've thankfully gotten. love my mom for always being there for me even when i WAS a nightmare)#anyway. i dont like a jaybin who was nothing but angst and rage and behavioral issues. hate it in-fact#i also dont like a jaybin w no issues n no trauma n no poor coping mechanisms and troubles#you gotta get a healthy mix. its the only way forward#once again... the answer to everything is ''people are complex and you gotta think abt things more than surface-level''
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i think like. so much would be solved if we normalized the fact that some people do experience delusions and hallucinations. like yes, its something that those people need help with/need more accommodations for, but we could use being more understanding of people with psychotic symptoms in general.
like, i can tell you that at least one person raving about conspiracy theories is someone who experiences delusions, and if we understood that, we wouldn't have such a hard time getting them back to a more grounded perspective.
i am someone who experiences delusions and I do get incredibly triggered by all the unreality bullshit, the simulation theories, all that unreal bullshit, and it is actively negatively impacting people like me.
we could really use a better understanding of those with these symptoms, because acting like having hallucinations/delusions makes you a killer is a take that makes zero sense. Like, genuinely, you have no idea what you're talking about if that's where you immediately go. I can point out a bunch of shit discussing the darkness of humanity and that logic applies to anyone, regardless of mental illness. Delusions and hallucinations don't mean you'll act on anything, it just means that your brain is creating false images or thoughts, and that can get really fucking confusing.
We could use a little more empathy or compassion towards those with these symptoms, because obviously this shit isn't going away for us, just like other disabled people dealing with their disabilities. We are not idiots or monsters, our brain just gives us random false shit sometimes and it really fucking sucks. Be more understanding or I'll telepathically insert false shit into your brain one day, y'all should see the nightmare that some of us have to deal with.
#babey posts#actually delusional#delusions#hallucinations#schizo spectrum#actually psychotic#psychosis#paranoia#hypervigilance#honestly if i wasnt aware of my paranoia. id probably believe a lot of the conspiracy theories out there because of it#like that shit is so strong it makes me feel like everyone's out to get me#and i know they're not! my delusions are just delusions#but for some people. they struggle to tell about that sort of thing and i dont fucking blame them#and we should be more accommodating of people who experience symptoms like this in general#i can handle unreality to an extent. but there's some people who can't handle it at all.#be more respectful and understanding and dont trigger people for fun
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Okay I’m going to say this and I’m going to say this once.
I do not like how the relationship with Jamie’s father was handled in season 3.
If they wanted to go the route of forgiveness they absolutely could have. If they wanted to go the route of his dad going to rehab they absolutely could have. Those are not inherently wrong or bad. It’s a show about forgiveness and I get that. It’s a comedy and Jamie is not the main character - I get that too.
My issue is this: the show went out of its way on multiple occasions to show just how violent and abusive James is. Just to give a few examples:
Repeated physical abuse
Repeated verbal abuse
Planning, funding, and likely pressuring the sexual abuse of his 14 year old son (a minor and below the age of consent in both The Netherlands and the UK regardless of the age of the girl in the red light district)
The willingness to beat Coach Beard (basically a stranger to him) with a metal pipe in a 3 to 1 fight in a back alley which could have realistically resulted in his death (and calling Beard “son” right before the final blow)
Jamie literally gave up his dream - a job as a professional footballer on a top hometown team - to leave the country on a trashy reality show just to get away from his father. The show traced a large portion of Jamie’s issues back to his relationship with his father. Not all of course - but that was a big theme of his growth and development.
So even if we entertain the notion that this stint in rehab was successful and James is sober - that’s great. That’s a storyline I wouldn’t mind hearing - IF we had the appropriate time to show it. But the thing is, we didn’t. This season was disjointed and rushed in many ways - and I’m not complaining - I still loved it. But if they’re going to tackle a topic this serious, they need to do it right. They need to be clear that alcohol was not the only problem James had and that sobriety does not absolve you of accountability. As important as it is to portray the message that all human beings can change, including addicts, it is equally as important to show the serious work that addicts in recovery put in to address the hurt that they caused through their addiction. It is not easy work to battle addiction and to mend relationships - sometimes part of recovery is accepting that you can’t mend things with everyone you’ve hurt and that is the right of the victim to decide how they feel.
We were shown none of this. What we got instead was:
A speech from Jamie’s mom about how he is still amazing despite his dad while still somehow crediting Jamie’s talent to his dad’s abuse
Ted telling Jamie to forgive his dad as he’s mid-panic about his safety and his dad’s location
Ted making a point to say the forgiveness was for Jamie’s sake, not for James - which was ALMOST good until they ruined it
Denbo and Bug suddenly supportive despite being just as violent as James in 2x09
James suddenly in rehab for 0.2 seconds
Jamie reaching out to his dad via text despite having no idea his dad is in rehab - something that is realistically compromising his physical and emotional safety
A quick clip of Jamie bonding with his father before the season/series ends for good
The reason I connected with Jamie so intensely from season 1 was the shared experience of abuse from my father. I want to be clear that I know I’m projecting - that’s what fandom is - and I in no way expected the show to end exactly as I wanted. However, this is what I would have liked to see as 1) an abuse survivor 2) a licensed therapist and 3) a person:
The message that you can heal without forgiving those who hurt you OR that you can forgive them and still not allow them back into your life (ESPECIALLY if it compromises your safety)
The message that sometimes people don’t change for the better and you can grieve that relationship while still fostering healthier ones elsewhere.
An emphasis on support systems and chosen family when someone doesn’t have the reality of a parent or partner getting better (we saw this with Bex seeking out Rebecca and Rupert’s assistant)
Instead of Man City suddenly cheering for Jamie, which felt insanely unrealistic, having the cheers of Richmond fans drown out the boos and verbal assaults of the Man City crowd - further emphasizing that despite the pain he has attached to Man City and his father, he has a home with Richmond.
So to wrap up this very long rant, I feel very disheartened by this part of the season. I still love Ted Lasso and always will - there were so many parts of this season I absolutely adored and wouldn’t trade for anything - but I feel that they dropped the ball on this one. Most people don’t get to repair relationships with abusive parents. Is it possible? Of course. Is it important to depict that it can happen? Absolutely. It’s a show about forgiveness. But they didn’t need to do it like this for Jamie’s storyline. They could have kept the speech about forgiving James for Jamie’s sake and deleted all of the rehab/texting afterwards. I still wouldn’t have been thrilled but it would have made more sense to me in context of the show. And it would have meant a lot more to me as someone who’s father is unlikely to ever stop being a risk to my safety.
This just felt bad. Jamie Tartt had one of the best arcs I’ve ever seen in media and he deserved better than that.
#ted lasso spoilers#jamie tartt#James Tartt#anyway#you don’t have to agree with me on this#this is just my take#clearly I’m personally triggered a bit by it lol#I’m not looking to argue or anything just needed to vent#a lot of things felt off this season and I know there’s a lot of behind the scenes reasons for that#some we’re aware of and some we aren’t#but this is one of the ones that hurt#I have a few others too but since this is a Jamie blog I’m just posting about the Jamie ones#don’t even get me started on Sam being told to forgive the people who committed a hate crime at his restaurant#and no further acknowledgement of that trauma and safety issue#and no explanation of how he got onto the Nigerian team with Edwin Akufo actively sabotaging him#okay I promise I’m actually done now#long post
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it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.
#twist rambles#vc posting#grooming mention#for blocklist sorry im on my im really mad about this fucking series soapbox again#to be fucking honest she treats slavery similar. like its just THERE and the characters doing it dont really feel bad about it (much like m#rius doesnt seem to.. feel much if any remorse for arm.and) and it is just like... ok heres another bad thing with no examination. this isn#a super coherent post but i went a bit forward to see how b&g was handling the arm.and stuff and oh my god. oh im so mad. like i just... i#wish so badly that arma.nds abuse was taken seriously other than haha its sooo quirky that mari.us is in a position of power over him and#provides housing money sex comfort etc for him and is abusing him but hes sooo happy with himmmm. like he fucking sold him into sex slavery#and we are supposed to root for him#ask to tag#sorry this is just. its a very triggering part of the books but its something that i kind of keep returning to to mull over because it is#handled really badly. like i think she was trying to go for a lo.lita vibe (iirc she did actually mention nabok.ov as an inspiration) but#didnt really care enough to examine WHY that is an interesting take on the subject matter. not even to get into pan.doras stuff bc its just#really bad but at least he waited until she was an adult i suppose. like i will give anne one thing that she has characters and (poorly han#led) writing that makes you really think and analyze. which i think is where i enjoy media that is like... this kind of sucks at points but#u can tell the authors viewpoints soo transparently. and u can examine it thru this. like i think thats why i find the gr.ell run of GA int#resting too bc u can telll that man is a libertarian and doesnt respect women. and then claims to do so. its interesting to me. anyways#did u guys know she defended bill clin.ton when the monica stuff came out and victim blamed her. just a funny coincidence.#sorry for the really long tag rant but i am sooo fed up with how she treats this topic forever and ever. bc its been this way forever.#anyways back to reading had to get that out. lmk if u need me to tag this bc its a lot of tws :)
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