#clearly I’m personally triggered a bit by it lol

[jamietarttsdaddyissues]

Okay I’m going to say this and I’m going to say this once.

I do not like how the relationship with Jamie’s father was handled in season 3.

If they wanted to go the route of forgiveness they absolutely could have. If they wanted to go the route of his dad going to rehab they absolutely could have. Those are not inherently wrong or bad. It’s a show about forgiveness and I get that. It’s a comedy and Jamie is not the main character - I get that too.

My issue is this: the show went out of its way on multiple occasions to show just how violent and abusive James is. Just to give a few examples:

Repeated physical abuse

Repeated verbal abuse

Planning, funding, and likely pressuring the sexual abuse of his 14 year old son (a minor and below the age of consent in both The Netherlands and the UK regardless of the age of the girl in the red light district)

The willingness to beat Coach Beard (basically a stranger to him) with a metal pipe in a 3 to 1 fight in a back alley which could have realistically resulted in his death (and calling Beard “son” right before the final blow)

Jamie literally gave up his dream - a job as a professional footballer on a top hometown team - to leave the country on a trashy reality show just to get away from his father. The show traced a large portion of Jamie’s issues back to his relationship with his father. Not all of course - but that was a big theme of his growth and development.

So even if we entertain the notion that this stint in rehab was successful and James is sober - that’s great. That’s a storyline I wouldn’t mind hearing - IF we had the appropriate time to show it. But the thing is, we didn’t. This season was disjointed and rushed in many ways - and I’m not complaining - I still loved it. But if they’re going to tackle a topic this serious, they need to do it right. They need to be clear that alcohol was not the only problem James had and that sobriety does not absolve you of accountability. As important as it is to portray the message that all human beings can change, including addicts, it is equally as important to show the serious work that addicts in recovery put in to address the hurt that they caused through their addiction. It is not easy work to battle addiction and to mend relationships - sometimes part of recovery is accepting that you can’t mend things with everyone you’ve hurt and that is the right of the victim to decide how they feel.

We were shown none of this. What we got instead was:

A speech from Jamie’s mom about how he is still amazing despite his dad while still somehow crediting Jamie’s talent to his dad’s abuse

Ted telling Jamie to forgive his dad as he’s mid-panic about his safety and his dad’s location

Ted making a point to say the forgiveness was for Jamie’s sake, not for James - which was ALMOST good until they ruined it

Denbo and Bug suddenly supportive despite being just as violent as James in 2x09

James suddenly in rehab for 0.2 seconds

Jamie reaching out to his dad via text despite having no idea his dad is in rehab - something that is realistically compromising his physical and emotional safety

A quick clip of Jamie bonding with his father before the season/series ends for good

The reason I connected with Jamie so intensely from season 1 was the shared experience of abuse from my father. I want to be clear that I know I’m projecting - that’s what fandom is - and I in no way expected the show to end exactly as I wanted. However, this is what I would have liked to see as 1) an abuse survivor 2) a licensed therapist and 3) a person:

The message that you can heal without forgiving those who hurt you OR that you can forgive them and still not allow them back into your life (ESPECIALLY if it compromises your safety)

The message that sometimes people don’t change for the better and you can grieve that relationship while still fostering healthier ones elsewhere.

An emphasis on support systems and chosen family when someone doesn’t have the reality of a parent or partner getting better (we saw this with Bex seeking out Rebecca and Rupert’s assistant)

Instead of Man City suddenly cheering for Jamie, which felt insanely unrealistic, having the cheers of Richmond fans drown out the boos and verbal assaults of the Man City crowd - further emphasizing that despite the pain he has attached to Man City and his father, he has a home with Richmond.

So to wrap up this very long rant, I feel very disheartened by this part of the season. I still love Ted Lasso and always will - there were so many parts of this season I absolutely adored and wouldn’t trade for anything - but I feel that they dropped the ball on this one. Most people don’t get to repair relationships with abusive parents. Is it possible? Of course. Is it important to depict that it can happen? Absolutely. It’s a show about forgiveness. But they didn’t need to do it like this for Jamie’s storyline. They could have kept the speech about forgiving James for Jamie’s sake and deleted all of the rehab/texting afterwards. I still wouldn’t have been thrilled but it would have made more sense to me in context of the show. And it would have meant a lot more to me as someone who’s father is unlikely to ever stop being a risk to my safety.

This just felt bad. Jamie Tartt had one of the best arcs I’ve ever seen in media and he deserved better than that.

[angels-fantasy]

Girl let me just say your fics are superb and thanks for the quirkless child one I requested with Bakugou! I promise I’ll leave you be for a bit in a second, but… post final war; everyone who has came out alive clearly is suffering from injuries, health issues, and trauma (both physical trauma and mental trauma) no? So how about a Bakugou x Reader with a reader who was essentially Bubbly, Firery and Energetic, to after the war who is exhausted, is often having nightmares over Bakugou cause well he nearly died, sleep deprived and basically depressed because I can guarantee nobody should be sane after a war, especially not children like our lovely highschoolers. Please make it angst to comfort, because seeing how Bakugou also has developed I’m sure as sad as he would be he would also be understanding and try to be comforting (despite his awkwardness). I’d appreciate if you could get this done to be as close as possible (and maybe just a little long than the one I requested last time- no pressure) BUT if anything you find in my request may be too triggering or something feel free to make it less triggering and change it, I just ask if you can keep the same vibe and theme with the reader who changed drastically after the wars and is getting comforted by Bakugou, Angst to comfort (duh), thank you so much, and I hope I’m not troubling you too much! — An anon who enjoys suffering, angst, and comfort ((SAC) Anon); (get it? Suffering, Angst, Comfort, SAC, wait that has a good ring to it, damn I have a new alias, I’ll shut up now)

I'm Okay, As Long as He's Here (Request)

Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Details/Warnings: reader has a panic attack and nightmares!! pls be weary of this. angst to fluff, well, my attempt at angst lol

Word Count: 1k

thank you for your request and the support :D it means a lot to me 🩷 btw don't ever feel like you're bothering me or like you need to leave me alone! i like talking to everyone :) also this is a good little plot, but im not the best at writing angst but this is helping me improve i think, so please tell me how i did! i really hope you like it SAC anon hahah

Before the war, you were a different person. Looking at you now, no one would ever guess you were once a bubbly, out going person. But Katsuki knew you were, and sometimes, he missed the old you.

It was hard to watch you wake up crying in the middle of the night from your horrible nightmares of the war. Some being about his near death experience, and others being about him dying in other ways.

Some nights, you didn't sleep at all, and it was really showing.

"Hey, keep your head up. I don't want you to fall asleep." Katsuki said. It was already months after the war, so you were all back at school, but you were one of the few students that was struggling the most.

He definitely has his struggles too, but he knew he had to be there for you, because yours were much worse.

You opened your eyes wider, trying your best to stay awake. "Sorry. I couldn't sleep last night."

"You havin' nightmares again?"

You nodded, he sighed.

"Come sleep in my dorm tonight. You sleep better with me and you know it."

You agreed and continued trying your best to stay awake for the rest of the day. Occasionally, Katsuki would have to wake you up or remind you to stay awake. The lack of sleep made it hard to focus, especially in Hero Training. Thankfully, Mr. Aizawa and the rest of the teachers were understanding of the students who were struggling.

Once school was over it felt like a weight was lifted off of your shoulders. You knew you had homework to do, but right now you'd rather sleep. Or at least attempt to. Since you were going to be with Katsuki tonight, you were probably only going to have one nightmare. Plus, he'd be there to comfort you.

Following your boyfriend to his dorm room, you immediately changed into some of your clothes that he had there for you, and then laid down on his bed.

For a while, you just silently watched him as he sat at his desk and did his homework, something you should also be doing.

"What're you starin' at?"

You smiled, but not as brightly as before, "I'm just admiring you."

He huffed, "Good, I'm awesome."

Rolling your eyes, you said, "And there he is."

He laughed and continued doing his homework. You just continued watching him, because it was something that comforted you. It was a reminder that he was okay and alive.

Knowing he was safe right in front of you, you fell asleep.

...

You didn't know what time it was, but it must've been late since the room you were in was dark.

You clutched your chest as you sat up in bed and breathed heavily, feeling tears prick your eyes.

Of course, you had another nightmare again. This one in particular was about Katsuki, and he was in the arms of Shigaraki. You saw the villain use his Decay quirk on him, and your boyfriend began to crumble away but you were paralyzed in your dream. There was nothing you could do.

The nightmare felt so real and so scary, like they usually do. You felt so helpless and scared. The evil that emitted from Shigaraki and All For One was something you'd always remember.

You subconsciously began to rock yourself back and forth and made self soothing noises as you continued to have a panic attack. They never got easier, or less scary as time went on. It always felt like you were going to die.

Your panic must've woke Katsuki up, because you suddenly heard his voice calling out to you.

"Hey, hey! Breathe baby, you gotta breathe." He said.

You shook your head, "I-I can't! It hurts. I'm scared, I'm gonna die!"

He carefully grabbed your hands and held them in his. He took one of them and brought it to his chest near his heart so you could feel it beat.

"What is my heart doing right now?" He asked. This was a method he used to ground you during these situations, especially because he knew how you felt about him and his safety.

You looked at his chest, "Beating. Your heart is beating."

"Right. Now what do you feel here?" He asked, now placing a hand on the blanket that was on top of you guys.

"The blanket."

"What does it feel like?"

"It's soft and fluffy."

As he continued distracting you from your panic, you eventually calmed down. You were still crying a bit, but he held you in his arms as you let it out.

"He killed you Katsuki. I was so scared, and I couldn't do anything!" You cried into his chest.

He rubbed your back, "You know that shit isn't real, no matter how real it feels. I'm right here living and breathing. I'm safe, okay?"

You nodded and sniffed, "Okay." You placed a hand on his chest over his heart and felt it beat, the steady rhythm of it comforting you.

Katsuki grabbed that hand and kissed the palm of it, "Love you. I'll be here all night, 'kay?"

"I love you too. Thank you."

"It's no problem."

The next morning, you felt more rested than usual. It must've been because you only had one nightmare, which was an improvement.

You noticed you woke up before your boyfriend, so you just let him sleep a little longer while you got on with your morning routine. You had a lot of your own things in his room, including an extra toothbrush which you were thankful for.

When he eventually woke up, he walked over to you and hugged you tightly.

"You feelin' okay?" He asked.

You nodded as best as you could in his tight grip, "Mhm."

"Be honest."

"I am! I feel a lot better than last night." You insisted as you pulled away slightly, still keeping your arms around him.

He hummed and kissed the top of your head, "Mkay. Wanna sleep with me again tonight?"

"Yeah, I'll bring more clothes later."

He smiled, "'Kay. Let's go to class." He said and threw an arm over your shoulder, making you smile up at him.

Yeah, you knew things would be okay as long as he was around.

authors note

i hope you liked it! i'm sorry it was kinda short, i've been in a little writing stump but im trying to get out of it!

love ya 🩷

tags for bakugou fics: @doumadono @shonen-brainrot

[1moreff-creator]

thoughts on the "mai posseses monotv" theory? :eyes: like, it explains so much! the reason monotv could go anywhere was because mai was using the flipside!

Hey! Well, it’s certainly a theory with a lot of spirit to it!… I’m not funny. Anyways, it’s an interesting concept, and I can also use this as an excuse to talk about other theories drawing connection between MonoTV and Mai, so let’s see!

DRDT Full CH2 Spoilers. CW: Death, mentions of gun violence

(Also, “flipside” like- like the FNAF term? Did you people check my channel after watching Vivisection or… Certainly wasn’t ready to see it applied to DRDT lol)

Let’s start by the funniest thing about this theory: there’s technically evidence that ghosts exist in DRDT. In the most roundabout, absolutely-not-a-valid-argument way imaginable, but it technically exists. The argument is that DRDT takes place in the same universe as Trigger Happy Havoc, which takes place in the same universe as Ultra Despair Girls, and UDG has ghosts (and if there’s any in THH beyond Kirigiri “hearing the footsteps of death” or whatever I forgot about them). Clearly, the groundwork is there, absolute foreshadowing masterclass from dev-

Alright so obviously that’s silly, but even beyond that argument, there’s technically nothing disproving ghosts in DRDT. We do have semi-supernatural elements already, such as Teruko’s luck, Xander’s strength, Rose’s memory, MonoTV’s disappearance acts, and the whole Eyes situation. Really cool and awesome eyes, wouldn’t have them any other way; also not humans work. And of course, some people believe in a time loop, and that’s a perfectly valid theory, so why not ghosts? 

Well, unfortunately, while the ghosts are weird but not disqualifying, I think the Mai part is also a bit of an issue for me to believe it. It falls into ye old DRDT theorist trap of assuming any unidentified person (or personality, in this case) is Mai, which, let’s be clear, I’ve also dabbled in (see: “Mai is the girl Eden kissed” crack theory), but that doesn’t mean that these things aren’t always a bit of a long shot. 

In this case, probably the big question would be “what does it mean for Mai to possess MonoTV?” Or alternatively, to address the other idea going around, “what would it mean for the personality driver to be based on Mai?” It’s not straight up its identity; even DefaultTV refers to itself as “MonoTV” and “not a human.” 

DefaultTV: Greetings, everyone. My name is MonoTV.

DefaultTV: Perhaps you’ve mistakenly conflated me with a human and thought I have a ‘soul’ that is intrinsically connected to my body. But I am not human.

I mean it even says it doesn’t have a soul. Or, well, if it has one, it isn’t connected to the MonoTV body, but the former is more likely in my eyes. 

Also real quick, voices don’t match either. DefaultTV has the same VA as MonoTV, Artimmiss just has incredible range (and Unnamed Classmate is voiced by someone else). This doesn’t really affect any theories but it’s worth mentioning.

It’s also not personality, as far as we know. Unnamed Classmate is too nice to be MonoTV and too cheery to be DefaultTV, so unless Mai changed significantly in the time between the Bonus Episodes and the time she possesses MonoTV/her personality is used as a base for DefaultTV (which we currently have no evidence for), then the personalities don’t match.

There is, admittedly, one aspect where I could see the argument, and I believe this is where these theories come from. That being DefaultTV’s weird compassion towards Teruko, the implication that it “feels” guilt and grief, and it choosing to stop firing at Levi instead of just killing him and Teruko.

However, compassion and remorse over murder aren’t exclusive to Mai Akasaki, and I find it perfectly reasonable to assume those things are a result of DefaultTV being a “default” driver presumably intended for more general, non-killing game purposes, where those “feelings” would actually probably be nice for the AI to have.

As for not killing Levi, it’s important to remember that MonoTV and DefaultTV are always making the conscious decision of not killing everyone. It’s like David said in 2-12; if you just wanted to murder these 16 people, you wouldn’t need the killing game. Mono/DefaultTV’s stated primary goal is not “kill all these people,” but:

DefaultTV: To run this killing game until the death of every participant.

“Run this killing game.”

The reason letting the attempt to destroy MonoTV go unpunished would go against its purpose is, as I currently understand it, not because it lowers the kill count, but because it would be a threat to the integrity of the killing game. If DefaultTV lets this loophole go, then it sets a precedent that it will always follow the rules to a T, and that encourages the cast to look for further loopholes. Instead, it just needs to show that it’s willing to bend the rules to follow their spirit and not their letter.

That’s why it’s satisfied with warning shots and why it shuts the gun off: it sent the message it needed to send, but DefaultTV killing Levi, who is completely unrelated to the attempt on its life, would go against the spirit and letter of Rule 8, “MonoTV will never directly commit a murder.” Again, always follow the spirit, but show it’s willing to bend the letter to maintain the integrity of the game; “To run this killing game until the death of every participant.”

I hope that made sense :v

Moving on, there’s also logistic problems. Since MonoTV seems to have been created specifically for the killing game, the “possession” theory is incompatible with the theory that the killing game was created in response to Mai’s death, unless we’re pulling a Stitchwraith where Mai first possessed a TV or something and then that got put into the MonoTV body (and that still runs into the issue with the “no soul attached to body” statement). And at this point, one of these seems a bit more likely than the other. 

Speaking of, logistical issues also come with the idea that DefaultTV is based off of Mai. Because why would XF-Ture Tech choose to base their default drivers on, quote Min’s Mai quote, “an average girl with nothing special at all about her?” Wouldn’t it make more sense for them to base it off of someone working at the company or otherwise connected to it, such as altDRDT’s XF or even Min?

… Wait, Min… Possession… Min possessing MonoTV… Alright new theory- /j

(To be extremely clear; Min possessing MonoTV is even less likely than Mai, I’m just being silly :p)

There may be even more problems I’m currently not fully realizing, but what I’ve listed is enough for me to consider both theories discussed as highly unlikely at this point in time. Still cool theories and I wouldn’t mind if they got confirmed, but just very unlikely. Would make for fun AUs though! 

As an extra, I’ll throw in what I actually think this weird compassion is leading up to, though to be clear it’s pretty wild speculation and will probably be wrong.

I explained before that I believe it makes sense for DefaultTV to be a far more morally upstanding AI than MonoTV, as “default drivers” would presumably be made with more general purposes in mind. It’s also been established in the main series that Whit, someone who I currently believe is very likely to survive or at least make it pretty far in, knows about machine learning.

Whit: Machine learning! [Charles and I] both like machine learning!

Now, I’m not sure that this is exactly AI in the way DefaultTV and MonoTV seem to be, but it’s close enough. If this Checkov’s Gun is ever to be fired (and Whit isn’t the mastermind), it’s very possible that, around Trial 6, Whit somehow manages to take out the directives that make MonoTV/DefaultTV dangerous, allowing the more compassionate and remorseful side of the AI to help the survivor cast in some way.

Also Charles could do this too but I don’t think he’s making it to the end so. There's option 2 ig.

Is this completely insane and almost entirely unfounded? Yes! Do I expect this to actually happen? I give it like a 5% chance on the high end. Nevertheless, do I consider this to be the best guess we can currently make as to where both Whit’s knowledge of machine learning and DefaultTV’s compassion are going? Also yes, again provided Whit isn’t the mastermind, which is a pretty large assumption in and of itself. Is it much better than MonoTV being possessed by Mai Akasaki? Not really! But if you’re sending me an ask you presumably want my opinions, and there they are!

Thanks for the ask! Very fun to ramble about this goddamn dog.

[freya-fallen]

Little Dove 2/?

Check part 1 for story triggers, though none really apply here.

Part 3

You frown at the text. It’s from your bother’s number, but it’s clearly not him. You don’t know if you should respond or wait to talk to Keigo about it. But who knows when that will be.

>Where should I drop this phone off?

>Your the only contact outside the HPSC

>hello?

You didn’t realize that. Surely, Keigo had other people— sidekicks or… then again, he had multiple phones. He said it was easier that way; he could ignore calls from one phone, but keep the other on in case of emergencies.

You should probably respond, right?

<Who is this?>

>I asked you first

You scowl. This is getting you nowhere. There must be some question you can ask that this person will answer. 

<Are you a hero? What agency are you with?> 

>I’m not with an agency. I’m more underground

Whoever this is must be a contact. Keigo does all kinds of work for the commission, to include intel gathering. 

>You bird brain’s gf?

<Ew no lol>

It’s such an automatic response that you type it out before you can help yourself.

>You gotta be a little sister then

“Shit.” No one outside the HPSC is supposed to know about you. You stare down at the screen in your hands, your heart pounding as your mind rushes to find an excuse.

>Don’t worry I won’t tell

<Hero families get threatened a lot> 

>I understand completely

>I still gotta know where to drop off this phone tho

You’re not dumb enough to invite this stranger to your home, not that they’d get through the door without being vetted.

That begs the question of what you can do. You can meet them somewhere, maybe at a cafe or something, a public place. You roll your lip between your teeth as you consider. That might be the best option.

<Do you know XYZ? The cafe?>

A minute passes. You approach the black car awaiting you outside the school and hesitate to open the door.

>sure

You release the breath you weren’t aware you were holding and open the door, climbing inside. 

<Meet me there in ten?>

>you got it dove

“We need to make a stop before home,” you tell the driver. “It’s not too far, so I can probably walk from there.”

XYZ is a small cafe only three blocks from home. You’ve been allowed to walk there on your own a few times, usually on weekends where you decide you want a sweet pastry. The driver sets up and you pull outside the cafe only a few minutes later. Nervous hands waffle your phone as you find a seat and cross your legs under the table. You’ve never met another hero, let alone one who works with your brother. Something tells you itt’s a guy and you wonder what he’ll be like, if he’ll judge you for being a highschool girl, or for having such a weak quirk compared to your brother.

“You like coffee, little dove?” You didn’t even notice the person approach. His smoky voice makes you jump and you blink up at him with wide eyes.

He’s a little taller than Keigo, with black hair and the brightest blue eyes you’ve ever seen. They’re familiar, but strange above the black mask that covers the bottom of his face. Maybe if you could see his whole face you could put a name to him, but you’re lost at the moment.

“I’m not allowed to have coffee,” you admit awkwardly. 

His eyes crinkle at the corners in a hint of a smile. “I won’t tell if you won’t. C’mon, it’s a caramel latte.” He sets the steaming cup in front of you and slips into the other seat at the tiny round table.

You can’t see all of his hands from beneath the cuff of his jacket, which is buttoned up all the way to tickle at the bottom of the mask. His fingers are long and pale. There are half-moon scars beneath his eyes, though the mask covers a bit of that, too. And his ears are similarly trextured and lined with silver piercings.

“Thank you.” You wrap your hands around the mug and bring the steaming cup to your lips. It’s sweet with just a hint of coffee bitterness beneath. You like it. It must show on your face, because the stranger chuckles.

He leans against one fist. “I don’t know what I expected, but not anyone as cute as you.”

One of your wings flutters at the compliment and your cheeks burn. You hope he didn’t notice, but something tells you he sees everything. “You have Kei— Hawks’ phone?”

He pulls out the red-cased cell and taps it gentle on the table. “I could just leave it as his agency or something, but when I saw your contact, I was intrigued. Seriously, why isn’t he sharing you with the world? He should be taking you to galas and shit.”

“He’s more concerned with my safety.” Your face is so hot you’re sure he can feel it from across the table. No one talks to you like this. At school, you’re so shy that no boy has ever confessed to you. The adults in your life are typically all business. Keigo calls you pretty and says you’re perfect, but he’s family. 

He nods. “Your boyfriend probably shows you off though, right?”

“I don’t have a boyfriend.” You almost choke on the words. Keigo has told you it isn’t safe to date either, not until you’re a little older. Once you have your own place, it’ll be different.

“No way. A cutie like you? Have you ever been on a date?” You shake your head. “So you don’t have a boyfriend and Hawks never takes you out.” He sighs and his eyes bore into you as he seems to consider something. “How about I take you out some time?”

“What? You? Really?” You’re lost for words.

“Sure. Why not?”

You gape at him. “But you’re a hero. And I—I’m…” 

One of his hands crosses the table to lay over yours. You’d expect it to be cold given how pale he is, but it’s warm, almost hot. “It’s not like I’m famous. Your brother and I mostly just pass intel.”

“I’m not really allowed…” You shrug. The weight of his hand is nice on yours and he gives it a little squeeze.

“So don’t tell. It’ll be our little secret, like the coffee.”

You smile brightly. “Okay.”

“I’ll text you, pretty bird. Enjoy your coffee.” He stands and you suddenly realize something.

“Wait! What’s your name?”

He glances back at you and says, “Call me Dabi.”

want to be added to the taglist? lemme know

[xo-urban]

HI HIII HELLOOO

soo, request for ghost x male reader? :D

probably this one may be a little sad, but let's say reader also uses a mask like ghost so no one actually knows his face, not even ghost. he has been working on his team for years now gets along with ghost (they're in love but in denial lol) bc both use masks and the team finds it funny.

one day one mission goes wrong and his mask gets snatched, ghost sees and they act like nothing happened the rest of the mission but ghost clearly sees that the soldier is affected by this.

later, ghost takes him to a more private place where they adress the situation and the soldier let's ghost take off his mask basically showing his face again more carefully, seeing this big ass scar that covers a lot of his face and that's mostly why he used the mask in the first place. they already have a lot of trust in eachother so simon let's the soldier see his face and then they kiss.

kinda dramatic, but that's my thing lol bye bye!

I loved this sm 🫶

Good Things Come in Damaged Packages

Pairing: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Male Reader

Summary: A mission went a little south and Ghost supports you all the way when you show him your biggest insecurity.

Warnings: Typical mission violence, angsty themes, fluff and Ghost support, no beta read cause I’m lazy 😭

Word count: 883

Despite how much time had actually passed serving with Task Force 141, you have never shown your face, not to a single person. You despised your looks and cherished your privacy. You were okay with it, knowing there was another person who also his his face made you feel a little bit more welcomed when you first came.

You and Ghost never asked about taking off the masks, keeping to yourselves was the normal. You liked him for being wary of your boundaries as you are of his own.

The reason for your mask was this nasty burn scar that made you heavily insecure, to you, it was hideous, your only option was to hide it so you wouldn’t be so heavily judged. It took up almost half your face, like someone tried to erase you but couldn’t quite get the job done. You’d never thought about anyone loving you to this day, it was completely hopeless to you.

Over the years, you and Ghost became closer, you would trust the man with your life, but you’ve still never shown your face to him. You’ve seen him lift his mask to take a drink, and you can’t lie when you were caught staring for a few moments.

Tonight you two had a mission to retrieve some intel for your operations. It was dark out when the two of you approached the building which said to have held the information you needed. The place was littered with enemies.

You stayed dead silent when you lead Ghost into the building. Whenever an enemy appeared, you aimed and pulled your trigger. You had no silencer which alerted the whole building. Footsteps ran to your position as Ghost had your back, firing clean shots at your enemies, savoring his ammunition as you tread forward, clearing a path.

You took a step forward, only to get pulled into a dark room. “Fuck!” You yelled, capturing Ghost’s attention. The enemy yanked your mask off before you threw yourself at him, sending the two of you tumbling to the ground. When Ghost turned into the room, he froze, shocked as he saw your angered face, it was the worst yet possible time to have seen it. You gritted your teeth when his fist connected with your jaw, cursing as you pulled out your pistol and shoved it into his chest, firing multiple shots into your enemy. You stood silently, picking your mask off from the ground and putting it on. You huffed turning to leave, only to see Ghost with his eyes on you.

He saw.

He saw your face.

The face that you found hideous, you cursed to yourself as you shoved past him, this wasn’t the time to deal with your anxiety. The mission continued without further problems, happening to be too easy for you and Ghost. You grabbed the files and left quickly, not wanting to say a word.

When the two of you hopped in the car to head back to base, it was so uncomfortably suffocating but silent for the most part. The tension was there and you hated it. When you arrived at base you were in a hurry to leave, gripping onto the files to hand to Price later. You heard Ghost call for you but you ignored him, he probably found you disgusting and you hated it, you hated yourself for it.

You dropped off the files before quickly walking to your room with your head slightly down. That's when you were pulled into a room you found so much comfort in. You looked up to find Ghost staring at you with soft eyes, “What do you want..?” You spoke softly, afraid of what he’ll say after seeing your face.

“You don’t have to run away from me.. Scars can still be beautiful and shouldn’t define you at all..” Ghost spoke softly, cupping your face in his hand, rubbing his thumb over your cheek. “You’re beautiful y’know? You don’t need to hide from me.. Not any more” Ghost spoke softly, slowly lifting up your mask to reveal your teary eyes, you never fought him, letting him remove your sense of security.

“You’re so perfect.. I love you so much..” Ghost whispered, watching with soft eyes as tears rolled down your cheeks. You hiccuped, pulling Ghost close to you as you cried into him. You felt accepted after hiding for so long.

But most importantly, you felt loved.

Ghost hushed you, cupping your cheek to get you to look up to him through teary eyes, his mask was off and you couldn’t help but sob out of pure happiness.

Ghost pulled you into a kiss, hushing you softly as you leaned against him, he rubbed your back with a free hand while the other rubbed away your crystal tears.

“I love you so much, ever since the day we met, just knew you were the one. You’re so perfect darling.. Wouldn’t trade your handsome face for the world… never. I love you.”

It was all you’ve ever wanted, to be an accepted human again.

You cried in Ghost’s comfort, sobbing as you told him you loved him so much, over and over as if Ghost was too stubborn to get it in his head.

“You’re perfect, just the way the world built you.”

[bwobgames]

Just finished Beebing, as us Beebers tend to do, and compiled a list of the Beeb Bugs (/ finicky game design things) i noticed to help guide you in your valiant quest to Better the Beeb. Hope these help!

(No pressure with any of these by the way, please don’t put too much on your plate and make sure to get plenty of rest!)

Probably contains some spoilers so be aware fellow Beebers

Fullscreen mode please 👉👈

Not an issue (and you can completely ignore me on this) but it’d be very funny if there was an ending where you either choose never to go to the party or leave once you get there. Like. Screen goes dark “and he never found out the true mystery of the mansion” cut to title screen. Totally up to you though just thought it’d be silly. Okay now on to the actual issues i noticed

Tutorial states that backspace will reset things in the demo instead of the space bar (space bar still does that though)

When beeb enters the house for the first time, “one more chance” displays at the top of the screen as if it’s the start to another loop. Wild lore implications, but i’m not sure if they’re lore implications you wish to be implicated

Would be nice if doors were more clearly labeled so players know where the kitchen and office keys go. Secret doors with secrets could be labeled “unknown” until the keys for them have been found, to allow for intrigue while also having that guidance when it is needed

The mini game with the magnet… dunno if it’s bugged or just me but the magnet tends to drop right as it reaches the top. Had to try that one a few times lol (maybe try making the “hit box” a bit bigger? Oh and something prompting the player to stop clicking once the keys have been successfully acquired would be nice)

Some cutscenes have blank screens instead of the pictures, probably intentional but can get confusing at times, especially when there isn’t any guidance/tutorial informing players that they have to click through cutscenes. Even like… having a little arrow at the bottom of the screen would help immensely with that (personal recommendations of what i feel might communicate this best; arrow that bobs up & down, arrow that fades in a little while after the first image of a cutscene shows, or a label prompting the player to click)

Maybe some sort of timestamp thingie for save files if possible. Or some sort of something that marks files that have been saved to (if not a timestamp then maybe something that states where in the game you are, what puzzle/loop the player is at based on pre-existing triggers or variables)

During the “In relation to Eugene Coli, who…?” mini game, there is what appears to be a default grey scroller thing to the right of all the options (text boxes probably a smidge too big)

Can’t access notepad in tiny upstairs room

Kitchen key dialogue plays again when clicking the shelves after already obtaining a key. You don’t get another key, but the dialogue is still there

Right-clicking the door with the number lock then right-clicking the inventory space that shows up will immediately open the place to input the code (skips dialogue). Not necessarily something that needs to be fixed, but might cause issues elsewhere if the same thing happens with similar objects

If you click on Ángel while he’s chilling next to Vivi while you’re trying to solve the sticky note puzzle, he turns around. He turns back around when you exit/return or reset the room

Would be nice to have some way to cancel out accidental button clicks (for example accidentally clicking an object will have beeb walking there & will trigger the dialogue, it’d be nice if there was a way to cancel actions)

As soon as the second loop starts, pressing the spacebar ends the demo. Do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars

No way to exit to title screen from the demo page (was there in the accidental bug one i found but not the actual end of demo screen)

(The demo-related issues probably aren’t very high-priority since they are temporary, so don’t worry too much about fixing those issues since they’ll all jump ship when the full game is released 👍 just thought i’d include them here to be ~thorough~)

Okay that’s all i found!! I’ll probably do another run through at some point to mess around a bit and see if any other bugs show up. Good luck out there soldier 🫡 and thank you so much for making such an amazing game!!!! :D

Now THIS is a rat who knows how to pass the labyrinth!

I also enjoy the beebwords. She beebo'd beebily down the stairs.

I shall answer your concerns!!

This is actually 100% a personal thing, I dont like fullscreen in non 3rd person games, i loose sense of time too easily ): and I like having the ability to look at my notifications. But I'll poll it!

it's too cold to go out!! (unless there's a promise of cute guy?)

Ah yes, the space bar was a secret little key for test players. Backspace toggles "is dialogue running?", backspace reloads the whole room for big glitches. Congratulations! u found my secrets.

This is intentional, it is Beeb's first loop but not the house's >:3

If you talk to Nina again she tells you which door is which, although I've had other rats miss that, I'll see what I can do!

That's a good idea actually, also it shouldn't go back down once you reach the very top. Which evil code is causing this

I thought of that once a friend told me "I stayed 2 minutes looking at a blank screen thinking it was loading" Which is. incredibly funny to me but yeah I should do something about it. No comedy for me.

I also got advised to do that by a fellow rat, I might rember my save files but other people could forger (because i only use one save file). It's gonna be a bit difficult but I am ready I am not a coward I will code that thang!!

Thats a weird one, One of my rats got it but some didn't. I think it has to do with window resolution? I shall make them invisible

That's also intentional, it prevents a glitch, and it will happen in the future too! Nothing can stop my evil glitch-preventing ways.

I'm pretty sure I patched that in the latest release, but I will double check

I'm praying that my current fixes to the code solve that. if not. well. it be like that.

Well yeah, you poked him. hehe

That's very much feasible, although I fear people pressing it on accident and missing dialogue, which already happens just by being very trigger happy with the mouse

Nooo dont press the secret key only for big glitches randomly haha ur so sexy

Oh yeah at that point I expected the player to just. close the game. lmao. But i should probably implement it for the endings.

My rats.,.., they're working full time. I'm really tempted to just upload everything I have so people can tell me about bugs but no!! that's spoiling the fun!!

[lover-of-mine]

thank you for all of your replies to our messages!!

i am holding onto the fact that tommy is eddie in a different font. honestly i wouldn’t put it past tim to brush it off as ‘it’s just why they’re good friends’ but no, no way. helicopter, army, cars, wrestling, martial arts, bit sassy, fuckin exact same dating advice to buck… paired with the whole ‘MY attention?’ ‘i guess’… that has GOT to be deliberate. eddie and tommy being basically the same person has GOT to come back around as a point for buck to realise or for someone else to bring up, because if it doesn’t, what was the point?? literally just so he and eddie can have friend things in common?? nah. i’m not denying that buck is into tommy/attracted to him, he clearly is, but also tommy is a safer version of eddie, one that wouldn’t ruin his life if the relationship went badly

the marisol of it all…. i’ve seen lots of speculation that she and eddie may be having emotional intimacy issues, issues getting to know eachother or being emotionally closer. which could be kinda interesting. i assume that’s what ryan was alluding to with that whole ‘finding out who she is’ thing. tim’s comments about eddie being unsure about ‘his place in the world’ are very interesting though

i hope you sleep soon!!

It's no problem, I'm happy to talk about the show, and honestly, it's been great to help me release the anxious energy I've been feeling about it. And honestly, Buck's first experience with a guy being with Eddie a step to the left and triggered because of Eddie is such a choice, because it didn't have to go this way, they didn't have to make him so similar to Eddie, they didn't have to involve the whole jealousy thing, they didn't have to make the jump ship comment, they could've just made Buck reach out to Tommy and them getting to know each other, yk? The way they literally said "what if made Buck's bisexual awakening under pressure but Eddie kisses him when he's being a brat" and I'm supposed to believe that's not about Eddie, like, PLEASE. Love that Buck has a safe space to explore this part of himself without the obvious panic that will follow when he realizes he might be in love with Eddie, but, like, everything about Tommy is also about Eddie, and that's such a choice. I do think Buck is attracted to Tommy, like, people get crushes, and sometimes a relationship is about learning something, not actual endgame potential, and I think that's what's happening here. But, literally, Tommy is a safer relationship where he can figure himself out in a "controlled environment" in a sense. And the Marisol of it all, I do see things going that way, them having trouble to connect in a deeper level, but that's something we will have to wait and see I guess. I am very curious about the "his place in the world" comment for sure. I need to know what it all means lol

And right now I'm just waiting for it to be an acceptable time for me to fall asleep and not wake up at like, 3 am, so I can take something for me to sleep because I will not sleep without help today sipakapakpakapak, but thank you 🩷

[cladestruction]

PART I of my super long aotd thoughts (and prayers) commentary/analysis extravanganza🤪

warning: spoilers. repetition of words/expressions hehe. badly written (english is not my first language lol). looong text. biased opinions because this is my blog and i get to do with it as i please.

Press conference and failed plan: i love how there’s practically no time jump in the beginning, i find it both dynamic and realistic. as the world’s most famous band/people, they’re always right at the center of attention, even more after such major events like the ones in dsr, so the press conference is great: is sudden and painful to watch, it’s awkward as the boys try to answer the clearly triggering questions in their usual laid-back, disinterested manner, and barely succeed in doing so. also, this scene establishes three elements that i’m so grateful for: 1. Toki is safe with them again but still visibly fucked up, 2. the boys Don’t Remember what happened after they found Toki (the dethlights and stuff), 3. Nathan is the exception, he remembers but doesn’t quite understand wtf happened, and it haunts him. i love how Magnus is talked about in this movie and this scene, the public and the press don’t have much information about him and the band (i guess?) so calling it a tragedy is practically the easiest way to label it, but the reality is waaay deeper, and the fact that this comes back later on? i love it. i also like that the band’s plan announcement shows exactly what i wanted personally: how much Charles' guidance is missing. the boys are erratic and messy, and considering their actual behavior throughout the show it’s actually very rational for stars like them to want to jump right into action. bc it’s their job, their passion, and there’s pressure on them to do something: either talk about what happened, acknowledge their trauma and heal, or get to work and give people music so they can shut up and stop asking questions the boys are not prepared to answer. the tour fails before it begins and it’s great. the fact that Nathan only gets exhausted right after announcing they were back and ready to kick ass adds so much weight and drama, i love it. here we get a beautiful, stunning, amazing sequence with great voiceover and visuals. 10/10 i love the black/white/red sequence with Nathan’s silhouette falling and falling and a bunch of menacing shadows haunting him while the deththeme plays on the background. Masterpiece me thinks.

Crozier: the voiceover is AMAZING (i always loved his voice tbh). Crozier was kind of an annoying character to me throughout the series. he’s the typical american military authority and i’m not a fan, but i have to say i was very excited to see him get more depth in just one scene! i couldn’t help but feel for the guy as he failed to deliver what could’ve been his last words. it feels desolating to see him once again be left in the hands of these mysterious and shady people who are constantly preying on him. this sequence also gives much insight to the Tribunal, which is great to make the audience feel more on edge with their plan and see Salacia as a threat. the song of salvation is mentioned, the metalocalypse, Charles and the Army of the Doomstar. it’s great exposition without taking too much screen time. big fan of scenes like that.

The Church: what can i say, i love the (found) family dynamic. it’s always been there on the show, but this movie really took it to a whole new level and i’m living for it. Ishnifus’ funeral is a great detail. my man did nothing wrong in his short appearance on the finale of the show+dsr, and as a high priest, it feels only right to remember him and pay respects even if it’s for such a short scene. moving on, Toki with headphones is so important to me. he seems a bit recovered but it’s obvious something changed in the band’s behavior toward him. it seems it’s already normal for them to look out for the youngest and tend to him without as many reservations as they once would’ve shown, at least Pickles looks very used to it, even if it’s also clearly a lot of responsibility and he most likely has to deal with by himself (Murderface doesn’t really help and Skwisgaar is very cold and kept to himself. even if he complies with Pickles’ orders, he seems painfully closed off, and Nathan might actually be of help when present, considering Toki wanting to go to the bathroom with him and hinting that this is something they do now. but Nathan is not very present so yup, that’s that). moving on, Charles is…different. he was always calculated and cold but i kinda feel bad for Pickles (and Nathan later on) when they talk to him. Charles uses very mystical(?) language now and talks to the boys in a mysterious and ominous tone, it feels very impersonal, but it’s so good story-wise that i just can’t complain. Pickles’ reaction to Charles telling him that his role in saving the world is just: to be a friend to Nathan is AMAZING. Pickles is clearly nervous and expectant (it’s the end of the world, after all) but then he just asks “that’s all?” and it’s literally the BEST thing he could’ve said. he already IS a friend to Nathan, he has been so for years, even when things had already gotten ugly, so what more should he do? is it not enough? would he even be able to be such a good friend to Nathan if the frontman is being so closed off? the honesty in Pickles’ doubt is great and i love him so so much. moving on, that Edgar exchange with a very dozed-up Nathan almost made me cry. Edgar’s face when Nathan brushes him off is ugh, my heart hurt so so bad for him :( i’m sooo happy this wasn’t his last appearance and final interaction with Nathan. moving on, Nathan and Charles speak and it’s pure exposition, but i like it bc, again, is made clear and dynamic. i reiterate my point about Charles being too ominous-y (?) in his way of talking, making an already exhausted Nathan even more tired and overwhelmed. it feels even a bit out of touch and cruel of Charles to do this but, again, it fits just perfectly in the narrative so i like it.

The fucking PROPOSAL!!!: oh god, ok. i love Abigail, believe me. i remember being so desperate to see a female character appear on the show for more than 1 episode and not be killed off immediately that i screamed when Abigail came around. seeing her again in this movie, alive and well and receiving help really augmented my lifespan. that said, i am happy this is The Abigail Scene of the movie. she’s shown strong, confident, and most importantly, wise. she couldn’t say yes to Nathan, that’d be absurd, but she declined very elegantly. and though Nathan was already going through a lot, she was clear, direct and honest, while expressing respect towards him as a man and towards his feelings for her (though confused and not very well-founded, were honest). she wasn’t cruel but she also didn’t sugarcoat the stuff that Nathan Needed to hear. especially considering how he was acting, how uncharacteristic and weird he was behaving. and no, i won’t say “oh Nathan Explosion would NEVER get on his knees and beg” bc we all know that’s not true lol, but it was very erratic behavior, desperate and needy for all the wrong reasons, and please let’s again remember how much xanax/red wine/coffee this man had on his system !!! and oh, don’t even get me started on how important it was for Abigail to clear up how her kissing Nathan at the end of dsr was an act of shock and thrill of what they just went through. they barely knew each other but Nathan still went and saved her, and while Nathan was just out of all the fucked up shit that happened in dsr‘s last act, she kissed him. they almost dies, and in such extreme conditions they did what they did and that’s ok. but to think there would be more after that was, well, kind of an illusion. and that’s sad but true. in summary, Abigail is a queen and i love her with my whole heart and lungs. if you ask me, i’d love to have seen her more and i actually think her and Nathan could’ve worked out if things were different, or maybe they could be great friends. but for the short scene she got, i think she was great. Nathan breaking up with the fans right after is such a good scene too. he’s lashing out and it makes perfect sense for him to do so. and tbh i will go and say it: he wasn’t wrong in what he said. yes the fans are always there to support the band (i’ll talk more about this in the ending) but they also are constantly setting expectations. the fact that they’ll go and celebrate 99.5% of whatever the band does, the constant fear of losing them is still there, and for Nathan it’s infuriating bc it might get difficult for him to believe that these people will love everything he does, especially bc he, in this moment of his life, doesn’t feel loved.

last part of the church scene: Rockzo. i’m glad his scene was short, i dislike him and don’t enjoy him at all, but i will admit that after witnessing such a painful heartbreak/horrendous proposal, hearing Rockzo start singing Amazing Grace made me laugh very hard. great comedic timing, i liked it.

Dethklok tries to cheer up Nathan: i talked about this before, when they released the teaser clip and all. when i saw that with no context i did feel like Pickles was acting especially concerned toward Nathan here, and he even sounded a bit needy. now that i know it’s because of what Charles told him, it makes so much sense. he feels almost obliged to support and even comfort Nathan in ways that he hadn’t done before, but of course it is! the world is at stake! he is trying his best and he even goes against what he thinks, shown by how he actually doesn't appreciate Nathan treating them like crap and calling them “fuckbags” and “jackshit”. i love how those little details build up tension between them.

[fefairys]

what do u do when someone sends u something and goes “i thought you would like this it seems up your alley :)” and you absolutely do not like it lol. like it is very sweet that they thought of me and stuff but they clearly have a skewed view of me and my likes and interests

i don’t want to be an asshole and be like “you were wrong i do not like this” lol because it was thoughtful of them to think of me and send me something in the first place but i also don’t want to politely pretend to like it because then i am furthering the incorrect view of me they have in their head! i am confirming that i like this thing, even though i do not, and will be sent more things like it in the future! i don’t want to continue to give them the idea that they’re right about me and what i like when they’re not, but i don’t want to be an asshole and go “i don’t actually like this.” especially when the thing in question is completely harmless and like. i can understand why they might THINK i would be interested in it, but if they knew me just a little bit more it should be clear why i don’t. :/

this has happened to me a lot and so far i just either ignore it (feels evil. they thoughtfully sent me smth and want a response) OR i respond to it unenthusiastically. “cool!” “neat!” (because when someone shows me something i Do like i get Very Excited and the difference is obvious) (feels evil. i’m being passive aggressive instead of just being honest. but honesty feels mean in this situation.)

this is a genuine question btw if anyone has advice.

i can’t ask myself ‘well what would you want someone to do in your situation’ because i simply don’t show people things unless i am 100% positive they will like it. but on the chance they don’t like it i would prefer honesty, but like. that isn’t true for everyone :/ some people get Destroyed emotionally if you tell them you didn’t like something they showed you. they take it extremely personally and i don’t want to trigger someone’s RSD yknow?? or ok specifically my mom does this a lot she is the main perpetrator of this for me lmao and i don’t want her to feel Bad that she’s out of touch with me because she used to know me a lot better…

[crispy-bonnie]

HIIII BESTIE HI

SO LIKE I'VE GOT A REALLY ANGSTY REQUEST LOL BE PREPARED

- Okay okay so can I get uhmmmm

- Dallas, Sokol, Hoxton, Houston and Jacket for this?

- Okay so, Reader and heister are already dating and they match pretty well

- They've been assigned to do the diamond (garnet) heist together bc they can blend in as a couple

- But just before the heist they have a fight

- (It was over some misunderstanding idk)

- Heister says something kinda rude and readers rlly offended

- So they're like 'clearly you need time to cool off so I'll just go on my own'

- Heister's like 'Fine go on ur own >:/' bc the heist is stealth and it should be easy

- But what they don't know is that an unknown rival group already knew that they were going and ambush the place with reader inside

- Heister's waiting for reader to come back as they scroll through channels on the TV

- He sees the news and it shows that there was a massive attack on the building reader was heisting on

- He rushes to the building to see the building surrounded by police tape + cops, ambulances and so on

- He sneaks inside to see partygoers still in the place, all of them shaken up and evacuating

- He asks if they saw someone (reader)

- One of them just says 'I saw someone that looked like that. They were fighting the criminals.... now....' and they point over to a smashed window with some blood surrounding it

- Heister's heart sinks into his stomach as he walks over and looks down from the smashed window

- As he looks over the edge he just sees reader

- Or what's left of them

- Yeah.... they were pushed off

- Haha guilt time for Heister (😭😭😭😭)

- Uh sorry if this is too intense I've had this idea in my head for a WHILE

hahahahahAHAHAHAHAAAA YOU FOOL !! YOU’VE GIVEN ME TOO MUCH POWER AND NOW A L L WILL BOW TO THE POWER OF MY CREATIVITY AND KEYBOARD !! I WILL MAKE YOU SOB FOR YEARS TO COME EVERY TIME YOU THINK OF THIS-

ahem anyways ,, i love this prompt ajdbajs /gen

i’m not gonna specify who this rival gang is , but it’s definitely not the golden aces bc they wouldn’t kill a heister , only do a minor bit of trolling

!! TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNINGS !!

- Heavy angst - Suicide / Suicidal thoughts - Major character death - Derealization - Spoilers for PAYDAY 2's ending

!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED !!

Oyasumi — PAYDAY HEADCANONS

Dallas

So basically this mf is overworking himself as always

When you try to get him away from his desk for the heist he kinda just snaps at you

Even if you continue to try and pull him from his work, he just continues to push you away

So you end up leaving him to his work and go on the heist alone, in which he kinda just dismisses you

Later on, he ends up finishing his work, but he notices a headline on the news just as he’s about to close his computer

Dallas took a minute before it finally clicked

The Garnet group building was ambushed

And you were in there

First was panic, and he immediately got Bile to pick him up and drop him off at the roof of the building while under the disguise of law enforcement

Among the partygoers who were fleeing and screaming for their lives, he tried desperately to look for you, but he couldn’t seem to spot you

Eventually he managed to find an injured partygoer, whom he asked about your whereabouts

This partygoer said that you put up a big fight with the ambushers, but you ‘didn’t come out on top’

When Dallas asked tor clarification, the person pointed towards a shattered window. There didn’t seem to be much, but it was the minuscule blood splatters that struck fear

He wasted no time rushing over, peeking over the edge and praying that he wouldn’t see what he thought he would see

But alas, it was exactly what he thought

You were on the roof of an adjacent building attached to the Garnet tower, your blood spread across its surface in such a beautiful yet horrifying manner

His heart seemed to sink upon seeing this, and he wasn’t even paying attention to the fact that he was nearly about to fall off of the edge

It was only when the rest of the Payday gang arrived on the scene, to retrieve Dallas and finish off the heist at hand

Luckily, Dallas managed to get a breather when he was taken back to the safe house, but he still was in shock

Surely it was an elaborate prank, right? You’ll walk in all fine and give him a kiss on the cheek while telling him you were okay… right?

Well, his despair seemed to grow when the others came back, but you were nowhere to be seen

He ends up feeling so awful for pushing you away that he ends up slacking on his own work and avoids doing heists, ESPECIALLY heists that have to do with diamonds or gems

Sometimes he would wake up and expect to see you next to him, but he would end up remembering that you’re not there and he’d cry himself back to sleep

He’s no longer allowed to do any mission that involves heights, because the crew knows damn well that he might have a panic attack, or worse, jump off the ledge

Dallas never recovers from this state, and he ends up leaving the Payday gang as a result of it

He still keeps your belongings and does his best to preserve them as much as possible, leaving them untouched like memories locked in its place

He basically turns into a hikikomori, withdrawing from pretty much everything and becoming a fucking mess

Hoxton

So y’know how Hector ratted Hoxton out?

Well this takes place before they find out, and he’s still extremely pissed about the fact that someone fucked him over

He’d spent every bit of time trying to figure out who the hell it was, and even when he gets a break, he still always talks about it

You tried to pull him away from it by offering up a diamond heist, but he dismissed you

However, unlike Dallas, he lashed out at you the second time you tried to offer, saying that he was too busy to deal with the likes of you

You just huff and turn on your heel, saying that you’ll go on your own if “he was going to be such a whiny bitch about it”

Hoxton was about to yell at you again because of your insult, but you were already out the door

A few hours pass, and Dallas speaks up from his desk

“Uh- Hoxton? I think you might wanna look at this.”

Hoxton finally seems to be drawn away from his investigation, as Dallas’s concerned tone caught his attention

The second he saw the headline, Hoxton wasted no time getting his equipment ready so that he could not only see if you were okay, but kick the shit outta the ambushers in question

After pestering Bile for a minute or two, he finally found himself in the Garnet building, searching frantically for you

In his panic, he ends up bumping into a civilian and he desperately asks about your whereabouts

The civilian pointed towards the shattered window, and Hoxton rushed towards it so fast that he nearly tripped on himself just as he made it to the ledge

When he saw your corpse laying almost peacefully on the now blood-coated concrete, he nearly had a heart attack

He called your name several times, but there was no answer, nor was there any movement from you

Hoxton continued calling your name, desperately hoping that you would wake up

But as he was dragged away by the rest of the gang, who had just arrived on the scene, he finally realized that you were truly gone

Once that part clicked, he went into full on anger, literally fucking incinerating any cop that got in his way as him and the rest finished the heist

He continued to express this aggression, on anyone and anything he could. It reached to the point where Aldstone couldn’t even let him in the safe house because he was wrecking shit like there was no tomorrow

And it sure as hell felt like there was no tomorrow, at least not in his eyes

His life was over now that you were gone. All of the plans he had, thrown away like garbage

And there was no one else to blame but himself, yet he refused to believe it

He was in so much denial, that he even tried to blame you for your own death. Yet deep inside, he was beating himself up for not accompanying you

Perhaps if he had just listened to you, you’d still be waking up next to him, or holding his hand, or even just talking to him

He missed you. Every last part of you.

Looking at anything that even remotely reminded him of you filled him with sorrow and rage, so much to the point where he tries to destroy it

But he can’t destroy those memories, he held them too dear, but they hurt so much

There was only one way to get rid of them

And the price of it was his life

Houston

Houston absolutely hates it when a single mistake is made during a stealth heist

Knowing a lot of heists that have gone loud after a failed stealth, he decided to make a very elaborate plan for this heist in particular, as he wanted to make sure that it went perfectly

Unlike the rest of these, the two of you managed to make it to the heist without fighting

It was only during the heist when the two of you started to argue

You wanted to keep talking with the partygoers to keep them distracted while Houston went ahead to start the process of hacking the laptops for the vault's code

However, it went against his plan, making him frustrated

He didn't want to protest too much with you, so he just left you to do whatever

The rival gang eventually intruded, causing everything to go to shit just as he was hacking into one of the laptops

It was only when he heard the sound of screaming and glass shattering when he finally snapped out of his initial anger

Getting his weapons out, he went to go and look for you, calling your name, only to recieve nothing

Due to the small talk that had popped up beforehand, one of the civilians recognized the name, pointing towards the very broken window that had pulled him out of his angry daze in the first place

He peaked over the edge and his heart dropped

His plan, not even Houston himself, was prepared for the possibility of seeing your corpse splattered on concrete

Houston eventually fled, as he knew that if he stayed long, he wouldn't make it out alive

However, even so, he didn't even know if he wanted to make it out alive

All of his planning, all those hours thinking just to make sure that both you and him made it out safely

It all amounted to nothing

He was trying to rethink every step of the plan, every moment of that heist

Houston was trying to find some sort of loophole or way to predict and prevent the events from happening

He spent months doing this, but it was futile

Nothing could predict that rival gang's assault, nothing could predict your untimely fate

And nobody could predict the way he reacted after coming to terms with the truth

Sokol

You didn't have any ill intention when you said this

Sokol had asked how you would feel if he left the Payday gang to return to hockey, and you said you wouldn't mind

You said this because you didn't want him to be held back by the job if he doesn't enjoy doing it

However, he didn't interpret that part, resulting in him getting angry

After nearly punching you in the face, you retreat to go on the heist that you were assigned to, but you had to go alone instead of with Sokol like you intended

It took a while before Sokol cooled off, and just as he was about to go and join you, Sydney stopped him

He was confused as to why Sydney was so persistent on making sure that he didn't go, but he was just as persistent on heading to the Garnet Group building

Sokol seemed to panic when he saw SWATs storming the building and civilians rushing out

What happened?

Sokol rushed his way inside, careless about the law enforcement officers telling him not to.

He looked everywhere for you, hearing the distant noises of chaos from the roof above.

Sokol was about to call up Bain when he registered the broken window, blood staining the glass

He hurriedly made his way over, and his eyes couldn't believe the sight before him

He saw you, laying motionless on the concrete with blood spread across its surface

He wanted to break down then and there, tears streaming down and some even dripping down onto roof below that you were dead on

However, Sokol knew you would want him to stay strong, and so he did

He proceeded with the heist, alone, and he even managed to get rid of the rival gang who had your blood on their hands

Afterwards, Sokol returned to the Payday gang, and he proceeded with his jobs as per usual

Even after all of it came to an end, when he moved to Cyprus with friends and family, he couldn't help but think about you

He had you on his mind all the time, and just the thought of you was his whole reason of staying alive and pushing forward

Sokol never got over you, but he knew that if he were able to see your face, even if it was for one last time, he would see you smiling and telling him how proud you were of him

He wanted to create a life that he wished he could share with you, even though your own was cut short by the incident

The image of your bright smile is what got him up in the morning to try and make changes for the better, for both himself and the world

It was what you would've wanted

Jacket

So y'know how in Prison Nightmare, you can hear faint lines expressing the greatest fears of some of the heisters?

Well, one of those biggest fears for Jacket happens to be his tape recorder running out of batteries. No wonder he spends a fortune on them!

Whether it be because it would either force him to talk or render him unable to communicate, he's terrified of his tape recorder running out of batteries mid-heist. He always makes sure to have a fresh pair.

Today was a little different, but this difference was HUGE to Jacket

For some reason, he couldn't find his stash of spare batteries, and his tape recorder was starting to run low

He searched frantically, looking high and low for those batteries, but they never turned up. He couldn't even find any stray ones lying around

You were just about ready to go on the heist, but Jacket was nowhere near prepared

He didn't even pay attention to you when you called his name, or when you walked into his room to tell him that the two of you had to go

Jacket was so invested with finding his batteries, not responding to you. Not even in sign language.

You eventually left due to Twitch's nagging, as well as the fact that you were just fed up that Jacket couldn't at least put his search on hold for until the two of you got back

Eventually, Jacket found his battery stash [which was hidden by Sokol underneath one of the staircases], and he managed to relax

He thought he would be able to hop in on the heist to help you out, but when he arrived, he wasn't expecting to see SWAT units all over the place and a few civilians running out of the building

Thinking that he would be able to make it through even if caught by the authorities, he snuck his way in, his confusion growing upon seeing the mess of the building. What happened here?

Eventually, one of the civilians who was running away stopped by him, grabbing his arm as if to try to encourage him out.

"What are you doing!? C'mon! We gotta get outta here!"

When Jacket expressed confusion once more, the civilian went from worry to anger as they said:

"Fine! If you wanna end up like that bitch then go ahead! I'm outta here!"

When they said this, they gestured towards the broken window before making a sprint for the exit. Curious about what this civilian was talking about, Jacket made his way towards the shattered and somewhat bloodied window.

His heart seemed to drop upon seeing your corpse splattered against the roof of the shorter building below.

Despite having his tape recorder, it felt as if he couldn't communicate or even call out to you. He wanted to scream, hoping that you would hear, but everything was stuck in his throat as he tried to comprehend the image before his eyes.

Surely... this was a nightmare... right?

It was so unreal to him, he could barely even feel his palms sliding slowly off of the glass-sprinkled edge.

He wondered if this was all a bad dream and that when he woke up, you'd be next to him and sleeping peacefully.

Well,

He would be disappointed by the answer by the time his head hit the concrete next to you.

[dreamii-yume]

okay, i’m caught up with mikoto’s case now, but i hope that i’m not annoying you by constantly flooding your inbox. here goes my early analysis. hopefully i still got the edge for this kind of thing lol.

personally, i still think my former theory is still up for a possibility, because i find some loopholes/suspicious words and actions in both the voice drama and mv. here are the ones that bother me the most:

1. the inconsistency of what john said between the voice drama and mv. in the voice drama, he promised to disappear if we vote for mikoto being forgiven, but at the very start of the song, he clearly said that “you” (even mikoto himself) can’t get rid of him now. considering that the prisoners are probably able to lie in the interrogation but not in the mv (because it was extracted right from their brain), i want to think that john lied to us just to keep mikoto safe. and if this turns out to be correct, then we can say that he has a tendency to lie just to protect mikoto, and resulting that we can’t trust him when he desperately said that he was the one that did the killing. because there’s a chance that he was lying about that just to protect him.

2. how john was really adamant on taking the blame and insisting that he was the one doing the killing, but can’t even answer on how many did he kill because the reason was that it was vague since he was JUST born. honestly, this one is really sus to me. if he was lying, then why would he lie about not knowing something he had openly admit? but if he said the truth, then it would lead to another questions of why or when he was born. why? what was the trigger for his existence? yes, john was born to help mikoto unburdened his stress, but what was the breaking point? and also, when was he born? from his answer, we can deduct it’s probably right before, during, or even AFTER the killing happen.

3. some suspicious phrases from john. first, when he said that he’ll “take it from here”, probably talking about the breaking point that i’m questioning above, but isn’t it weird if he just woke up then suddenly killing the innocent passerby or random people because of simple reasons that they’re annoying?? it’s even weirder because mikoto will gain nothing by them being dead while john’s only purpose was to protect mikoto. mikoto himself doesn’t even know that they’re dead or that he killed them, so obviously it’s not a way to help him let off some steam. so, i still think that the phrase refers to after the killing happen, john was made to take the blame and took the sin of killing from mikoto, he’s made to deal with everything from that point.

second, when he said mikoto’s “already broken”. i’m probably overthinking on this one, but isn’t john’s purpose was sort of like to prevent that to happen? to protect mikoto from stress so he wouldn’t be broken. but if he was already broken, then what else is he protecting? probably the aftermath of him being broken.

third, the apologies at the very end of the mv. was it an apology because he made mikoto’s life harder by killing, or was it an apology because he failed to protect mikoto (1st trial)? for me personally, either is possible. but he also did say something like “if only i was never born”, so the latter was a bit unlikely.

4. the mannequins. i haven’t watched every second trial mv, but from what i remember, they mostly show the victims at the end of the mvs. but not in mikoto’s mv. they only showed the beaten up and bloodied mannequins throughout the video, but not a single living person. and, you know, we mostly see things from john’s perspective this time.

sorry that it’s a bit long, i hope you or anyone else could discuss with me about it, whether you agree or disagree about it 💙

-🍂

Don’t worry about the long message, Darling ☠️ I’m guilty about my hyperfixations too lmao

Personally, I’ve became a Mikoto/“John” apologist now so I’m a little bias, but I’ll try to stay in a “neutral” side here and explain why I think what I think lmao

1. I, too, am suspicious of “John” saying that he will disappear after Mikoto is voted innocent lol Like—Boi, is it really that easy? I doubt he can disappear just like that, because “John” was born out of Mikoto’s stress, so in order for him to disappear, we need to get rid of things that causes Mikoto’s stress. In this case, it’s Milgram itself and his surroundings, and it’s not like Mikoto will feel better if he left Milgram, you know? I think what “John” is trying to say in his interrogation is that he will at least slowly disappear if Mikoto is innocent, but I don’t think he’ll disappear completely. I choose to believe that “John” is not lying, because he understands that by coming out more often, he’s just causing Mikoto more pain. I’m not very knowledgable about DID myself, but I truly believed that the “Original Mikoto” can disappear if he got too stressed.

Also I think “John” is saying “You can’t get rid of me now” in the MV is for both us and Mikoto is genius, but I’m leaning more to the fact that it’s for Mikoto. This is because he knows that Mikoto doesn’t wish to hurt anyone, but at this point, “John” is pissed and tells Mikoto to just leave it to him if Mikoto wasn’t going to do anything. Of course, I’ll keep in mind that he could be lying in his MV too, but my dumbass will choose to believe in him lol

2. I think the reason why “John” can’t say who or how many he killed is because to him, the people he killed are just faceless nobodies. He doesn’t care about those people, because his priority was to protect Mikoto. The mannequins even feels like a symbolism for that, static and humans with no faces—Just like how “John” sees them. It’s not really known what triggered his birth in the first place, but maybe something especially traumatizing happened to Mikoto during those times? Who knows lol But I think he was born at that exact moment, at least that’s what he said during the interrogation.

3. His first line in the MV was interesting, but the english subs are kinda lacking the emotion of what he actually said. Instead of “I’ve got you, leave it to me”, he was more frustrated in Japanese and saying something that goes more like “Ah! Fuck it, let me do it for you” lol

And Yeah, “John” is definitely saying sorry for making Mikoto’s life even harder, because killing those irritating people was probably the only thing he knew of what to do at that moment. In the interrogation, I did remember “John” being confused when he born, I think it just came second-nature to him on what to do.

4. And yep, I’ve said it before but I believe the mannequins are symbolism of “John” not knowing the people he killed. They’re all the same and faceless to him lol

Theorizing is fun! Obviously, we don’t have the same idea now, but it’s great sharing what I think with people lol

[acatalystrising]

hi tysm for replying to my request i honestly wasn't expecting it but i just wanted to add a couple things if you're hitting some writers block or need some inspo if writing about your own experiences is too emotionally exhausting. 

/tw for dv (don’t have to read if it’s too much)

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in tdou the dad is guilt tripping the daughter about the mom's death, i'd like to read about a mom guilt tripping the reader about a grandmother's death as that’s unfortunately what’s happening to me. 

basically my mom & my grandmother abused each other during quarantine & the weeks before my grandmother died but she only claims it happened bc i didn’t “help out enough” (but she doesn’t work at all like the father in tdou)

i love that the reader in tdou was trying to do everything she could but it just drained her emotionally & physically

i related to that a lot as i had to basically play mediator whenever they would argue but sometimes i just couldn’t do it bc my moms yelling voice is triggering to me. she isn’t as physically abusive anymore but now she just chips away at my self worth whenever she has a bad day or sometimes before i go to work

i already carried a lot of guilt before my grandmother died bc i dropped out of college & wasn’t working at the time & now my mom just knows how to make it worse. 

i recently got her to apologize & recognize what she did was wrong but it just feels like she resents me now bc i called her out. the reader’s sense of inadequacy/powerlessness in tdou was highly relatable lol

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sorry if this was too personal & that this ask is so long but if it's too triggering/personal you can totally not include it. 

i really liked how scarily similar the readers situation in tdou was to mine & seeing how much ppl liked it made me feel less alone so maybe if you base this prompt off of my situation someone else can feel less alone too. If not it’s ok bc all of this is pretty heavy. 

but i really love how honest your work is otherwise. i have support in my life but like you said family trauma can be difficult to heal from so again sorry i don’t make a habit trauma dumping on ppl lol

but thanks so much for your writing. boba really is a comfort character for me

tysm for being understanding pls keep writing <3

Hey lovely anon! Firstly, I am SO sorry it’s taken so long for me to answer this. Life has been nuts and I really, really wanted to take my time writing something for you. Trauma is awful and I am so truly sorry you’ve had to deal with so much. You deserve all the hugs in the world!

I’m so touched you enjoy my writing - I write Boba stories to process my own trauma, and they have majorly helped. I’m happy to hear that they help others, too. You aren’t trauma dumping at all, and I’m touched you made this request! So without further ado, here is what I came up with! I hope you enjoy it, and that if in any small way, it can help you feel a little less alone.

Trigger Warnings: Given the subject, I wanted to make sure everyone knows this contains potentially triggering content including: abusive mother, language, gaslighting, verbal abuse (both mentions of past and present), and physical abuse. This is a bit darker then some of my normal stuff, so please be aware! No smut, but lots of angst, fluff, pining, hurt comfort, and Boba being the protective gem we all love and adore.

I’ll Carry You

Daimyo Boba Fett x f!artist reader

Boba Fett, the Daimyo of Tatooine, was one of the broadest people you’d ever seen.

Strong, built like a warrior capable of crushing his foes, an unstoppable force. He was smart, too, boasting a cunning that spoke of his years as a merciless bounty hunter. He donned mandalorian armor that struck fear in hearts across the Galaxy…

And yet, you wondered if he would hold you gently.

Was there more depth to the man who was living legend? Clearly so, given that he’d saved your city from the Pyke’s destruction. You squinted, peering at the lovely shades of green, wondering how a color could be so calming and exciting all at once. Did he know that such a thing were possible? That his beskar was also beautiful, and not merely a symbol of terror?

A shout echoed down the dusty street and you flinched, concentration broken. Gone were the brilliant hues of green and red from your focus, replaced with the clay, beige tones of sand, stone, and earth.

You blinked, staring at your painting with a frown. Boba Fett, of course, wasn’t really here. Your image needed work before it was finished, but you hoped you’d be able to do a decent job. The Daimyo deserved it, you wagered, even if he never saw it.

Stars, of course he wouldn’t see it. He was far too busy to spend the time ogling street art.

Of himself.

Kriff, this was a stupid idea.

Another shout rang through the air and you grimaced, hating that you had to leave your work unfinished for all to see, unable to be anything more than a random piece by an anonymous painter.

You dreamed of a day where you could proudly display your work for all to see, but as long as your mother had a say, you feared that they, like you, would never get the chance.

-

“Off daydreaming again,” your mother’s accusatory tone made you flinch. “I don’t know where I went wrong with you. I’ve been generous, gracious even. And how do you repay me?”

She paused, dark brows lowering over narrowed eyes.

“Are you even paying attention?”

“Yes, mom.” You looked up from the sewing machine, forcing your expression to remain neutral.

“No. More. Distractions.” She jerked a thumb at the pile of dishes beside her that seemed to grow on its own. “Do I make myself clear?”

You merely nodded.

Like you always did. As fate dictated you must. The last thing you needed was for her to go on another tangent again. Or for there to be another fight.

But life, as you’ve discovered, wasn’t that kind.

-

Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

Kriff. As if your terrible day couldn’t get any worse.

You winced the moment you heard booted footsteps announcing someone’s entry. They were heavy, breaking the silence of the oddly quiet kaff shop - one that often bustled with customers trying to escape the heat of the mid-afternoon suns. But not today.

Too tired to muster more social energy, you kept your back turned, strands of hair falling in front of your eyes as you swept the shattered glass into your dustpan. The last thing you needed was another reason to get yelled at.

“Welcome to the Twin Suns, I’ll be with you in a moment,” you didn’t bother trying to sound overly polite. Not when your mother had made your day a living hell.

The footsteps neared, accented by a metallic clinking you could only assume were spurs. Now who the hell would bother to wear…

“I’m not here for a drink.” A deep, rumbling voice broke the silence, sending a cold chill down your spine. You barely suppressed a flinch as those booted footsteps stopped right behind you. “I have some questions.”

You turned much quicker than you would have liked - but that voice carried a commanding tone that made you act without thinking. There was only one person you could think of that would sound like…

Maker above, you were fucked.

Your own wide-eyed expression stared back at you, trapped in the unseen gaze of a black, t-visored helm. Even then, as you struggled to breathe, recognition flooded through you with the force of a punch. The owner took another booted step forward, so close you could touch him if you had a death wish.

Oh kriff, kriff, kriff.

It was Boba kriffing Fett. The Boba Fett. And now…your Daimyo.

You tried your best to suppress a blush. As if you hadn’t just been daydreaming about him earlier while you’d been painting him. Good kriffing maker, you had to get it together.

You’d seen him once or twice before, when he was out patrolling the city, but only from a safe distance. Now that he was here, in front of you, every fiber in your body screamed to run. The power the man exuded made your head spin. He was a living weapon, back from the dead - the most feared bounty hunter in the Galaxy.

And you were now trapped in his gaze.

“Heard someone caused a problem here,” Boba Fett’s iconic helmet slowly turned, taking in his surroundings before snapping back to you. “What’s their name?”

You blinked. Why the hell would the Daimyo care about a small shop’s domestic outburst? Surely he had better things to do. He surely wouldn’t be interested in the affairs of someone like you.

“Oh, it’s nothing…” you spoke timidly, far smaller than you intended, but you couldn’t help it, being in his presence. “It wasn’t a customer, or anything. I’m sorry.”

You hoped he’d let it go. Move on to more important things. The last thing you needed was to lose this job, or give your mother another reason to make your life worse.

Fett regarded you silently, arms crossed over a deadly blaster rifle, gloved fingers tapping a slow, steady cadence. Sweat beaded on your forehead and trickled down your temple. Would he shoot you for not answering his question?

He lifted a gloved hand and you flinched, but blinked in confusion when he gently wiped a tear from your cheek. When he spoke again, his voice was so oddly soft you were inclined to believe it didn’t belong to the same person.

“Not gonna hurt you. No one should be afraid in my city. Especially a pretty little thing like you…” his tone rolled through you, and you shivered, an altogether new feeling settling in the pit of your stomach. “Who did this to you?”

You could only swallow, throat dry, heart beating a million times a minute as you leaned the broom against the counter and shakily took a breath. You were so nervous you nearly tripped over your own foot as you looked back at the visor, more tears threatening to burst to the surface.

Damn it, keep it together. Don’t fall apart just because a stranger said something nice…

“It wasn’t anything you need to worry about.” You took a deep breath, steeling yourself to speak. “My mom just-”

A familiar voice suddenly cut over your own, hollering your name as if it were a curse. You flinched, turning in time to see your mother emerge from the back of the store, several big bags of kaff beans in her arms.

“Still wasting time or are you going to be useful?” She clearly didn’t see their guest, too focused on her destination. “I need your help, if I’m not asking too much.”

You glanced at the Daimyo apologetically, instinctively shifting to answer your mother’s request.

“She was speaking with me.” Boba Fett’s voice was nearly a growl when he spoke, taking a booted step forward.

A step, you noted, that placed him between you and your mother.

Who finally looked up. And promptly dropped her armful of product onto the floor with a curse. You flinched. Kaff beans rolled all over the wooden planks you’d just swept. Damn, this was going to be a long night.

“D-Daimyo Fett? Oh, oh. My goodness. Whatever can I do for you?” Her demeanor Instantly changed, shifting from accusation to groveling. “Apologies for the mess, we, we…”

“Perhaps you should apologize to your daughter.” Fett’s voice was nearly a growl, his words rolling with a lovely accent you couldn’t place. “She’s upset. Yelling won’t fix that.”

Your jaw dropped. Your mother smothered a glare. Oh, this was not going to end well.

“I, well, I…” she dipped her head, red flaring in her cheeks, but you knew it was anger. When she spoke again, it was the icy professionalism you also knew well. “Apologizes, Lord Fett. Can I get you anything? It’s such a long walk from the palace.”

But Boba Fett didn’t answer. The conversation was clearly over. Instead, he turned to face you, helmet tilted slightly to the side as he walked toward the door.

“I was just leaving, but,” he paused beside you, looking down from that impassive helmet, once again ensnaring you in his unseen gaze. “If you’re ever in need of employment, little one, come to my palace.”

Little one.

Somehow those two words made heat coil in your belly faster than any flirtatious word ever could.

You nodded, swallowing hard, only able to emit a squeak as he brushed against you as he walked by, long enough for you to catch a whiff of his scent - leather, metal, and residual blaster smoke. Stars, why was it so attractive? You’d never even seen his face.

You couldn’t deny there was something about the Daimyo that was…electrifying. But you weren’t given the chance to ponder it for long.

Boba Fett walked out of the shop’s door, and your nightmare started anew.

-

“I don’t know why I let you work here.” Your mother’s back was turned, but you could feel her glare cutting into you like daggers to your chest. “You embarrassed me in front of the Daimyo. What were you thinking? Was that a way to get back at me? Why do you have to be so childish?”

“I didn’t know he was coming either, mom.”

You stood with crossed arms, hovering as close to the door as you could, heart pounding even faster. “My shift is over. I need to go home. At least he wasn’t upset.”

“Well I am, but not that it matters. You’ve always been a disappointment.” Your mother raised a critical brow, lips twisting in a frown. “If you grandmother were still alive, she’d agree with me. But oh, wait, she can’t.”

Your day could, in fact, get worse.

“You never listen. Her death wasn’t my fault.” You sighed, an age old weariness settling in your shoulders. “It doesn’t matter. Never does.”

Your vision sparked as her fist connected with your face, shoving you backward into the glass door. It rattled violently, and you winced as your hand flew to the injury, fingers wet with blood. Damn. Not again.

“Entitled brat,” your mother shook her head and had the audacity to cry. It broke your heart, seeing her like this - but it was a ploy. You knew it. And it worked every single time. “What did I ever do so wrong? How did you turn out like this? I raised you better, I did.”

“Maybe you’re asking the wrong question,” you winced, turning your back on her as you opened the door. “What did I ever do so wrong to deserve this?”

Cheek stinging, heart breaking, you twisted and bolted out of the door before she could see your welling tears.

-

The moment you stepped out into the cool night air, you knew you weren’t alone.

You could feel it, the prickle of eyes on your back, and lowered your hand to the blaster at your hip. You’d already had a terrible day, but the last thing you needed was more trouble.

“That’s not necessary.” A familiar gravelly tone broke the silence. “Saw what happened.”

You turned, peering into the dark alley beside the kaff shop. At first you didn’t see anyone, but then the armored figure stepped from the shadows, beskar glinting in the moonlight. You reflexively took a step back, and he held his gloved hands up, empty.

“Meant what I said,” his voice was calm, steady, as if trying to calm her. “Not going to hurt you. You’ve been hurt enough already, from the looks of it.”

Oh.

“It’s…it’s fine,” you gingerly touched your brushing cheek with a soft wince. “I’ve dealt with worse. Please don’t hurt her. She’s…mourning. It’s a long story.”

Not that you figured he would really care. Most didn’t.

“There’s never a reason to hurt your own child.” Fett’s tone was soft, even as he took another step forward. “Will you come back here tomorrow?”

“I…don’t know.” You stiffed your hands in your pockets with a sigh. “It’s all I’ve got. I can’t just abandon her.”

He nodded, helmet tilting down toward her as if in thought. You found yourself staring up at him, transfixed by the deep red and green hues of his armor, even as he removed the helmet.

Dark amber eyes met yours, expression much softer than you had expected from a man of his profession. He was scarred, whirls of scar tissue branding his tan skin - but maker, he was gorgeous. Your jaw almost dropped, caught in his gaze, heart pounding like a drum as he closed the distance between you, a gloved hand softly cupping your chin.

“Don’t live your life for someone else’s grief, even if it’s shared.” His fingers gently stroked your jaw, and you found yourself leaning into his touch. Damn, he was dangerous - just not in the way you’d initially expected. “Why don’t you come back to the palace with me? Would be a change of scenery - I’ll pay you well.”

“To do what?” You’re frowned, too frustrated to be worried that you were being too bold. “Unless you don’t already have someone who can make coffee in that fancy palace of yours, I’m afraid I’ll be of no use to you.”

He lifted a dark brow, and you swallowed hard, suddenly remembering his hand was still on your chin, dangerously close to your throat. But when he spoke, there was no darkness - only a playful mirth.

“Perhaps you could finish that lovely painting you started, hmm?” Boba Fett, of all people, had the audacity to wink at you.

Your jaw dropped, stunned, even as he removed his fingers from your chin.

Wait a second.

He’d…actually seen it? And knew it was you? Kriff, had he been watching? Heat flooded your cheeks.

“Oh…oh, umm,” you ran a nervous hand through your hair, “you saw that? I didn’t mean to…”

He tutted, a soft click of his tongue, and dared to brush a loose piece of hair behind your ear with practiced ease.

“None of that, princess,” his tone was lower, rumbling through you. “I am honored you’d want to do something so kind with your talent. My palace could use more color. Something to lessen the drab and make it something new. What do you think?”

Stars, was this happening?

Not only was he interested in your work, but the Daimyo was very clearly interested in you.

You knew your mother who disagree. She’d be angry, too. But you’d spent too many years of your life trying to please her, knowing that would never happen. And now, Boba Fett of all people, wanted to set you free.

And so you nodded, unable to stop a smile from spreading on lips that were so often twisted in a frown, as the words you’d never imagined you’d be able to say tumbled from you mouth.

“Okay, I’ll come with you,” you nodded, meeting his gaze. “That would be…amazing.”

Boba Fett smiled, took your hand in his, and led you to the palace. To your future. Into a life you’d never thought were possible - one where for the first time ever, you were truly free.

Where you were loved.

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hi Em,

Hoping you can help me figure out my MBTI and/or enneagram type or at least point me towards the right direction.

As a writer, I do a detailed sentence by sentence outline for a specific chapter I’m writing and overall rough outline for the book. In life and in writing, I can veer off the plan, but as long as I have that end goal in mind, I’m good. It’s like seeing a train light in the fog – you know it’s coming even if you can’t see it clearly yet. Writing for me is all about enemies to lovers, witty banter, power struggles and internal monologue just like my life lol. I write best when it’s episodic or shorter segments at a time. I also need feedback the interactivity from fans to keep me engaged.

With routine, I need some external push, like deadlines from work, classes, or events, to get me going. If you say by the end of the week, it will done early or on time. If you say by the 15th I procrastinate or it’s late. It’s weird how that works. I also need actionable tangible steps to things otherwise I’m lost. Cleanliness and organization are my jam, not because I love order, but because I love beauty. I trust my gut and intuition for the final say with my heart making most of the decisions. It has to feel right or I get physically ill.

Aesthetics are huge for me – I’m all about beauty, art, culture and hedonism. I love nature, animals, children, reading, solitude, the supernatural, the dark, the taboo, the mythical, spiritual, touch, excitement and adventure. Good sex, good convo, beautiful clothes, good food- 100% me. I’m into enjoying life’s pleasures, and I spend a lot of time making sure my appearance reflects who I am. It’s not about others liking me; it’s about them knowing what kind of person I am upfront and they can do what that what they will.

I believe in fate, but sometimes I get too passive, waiting for things to happen instead of making them happen. I prefer alone or with my partner vs others. I don’t like venting without having some sort of solution at the end, some sort of action. I get frustrated, and I’m like, "Ok, but what are you going to try to do about it?" Doing can be crying, talking, or just giving yourself some time to think. It just has to have an action.

I’m quietly ambitious and if I want it I get it. I hate complaining or sharing my problems, preferring to work through things on my own. But when I do reach out, it’s all about finding solutions, getting that step-by-step guide to hitting my goals. My emotions are private but I go nuclear if pushed too far. I’m not about revenge- that’s up to the universe and it takes too much patience and minute detail, which just isn’t me.

Socially, I’m a bit of an enigma. I’ve faced bullying, which makes me cautious in social settings, despite being quite good with people one-on-one. I’m not into trends or networking; it feels inauthentic, though part of me wonders if it’s because I feel like I have nothing to offer. Talking up my achievements feels awkward; I’d rather let them speak for themselves. I’m the person who sees the talent in others and isn’t shy about pointing it out.

I have to know myself 100%- I can’t move forward without it. Once I hit a goal, I’m done and onto the next, always striving for excellence. Competition motivates me, but I’m not cutthroat. I work at my own pace, based on my mood. I’m generally calm until I’m not, and then it’s zero to a hundred. I struggle to express anger healthily, thanks to having to bottle it up when I was younger.

I’m triggered by the following: being called over-emotional, needy, lack of personal space and control, group projects, noise for the sake of noise. I worry about wasted potential and not living up to my gifts and talents. Hate being a second romantic choice option. I am intense, nicer than I look. I’m great at reading people in person because I can get a strong feel for their energy, vibes and body language. But online-social media feels like a minefield where I’m constantly misreading or attracting the wrong kind of attention.

I appreciate it, Em

Hi anon,

I am fairly confident you are a high Fi user, and I think with that in mind you are likely an Se user - the aesthetic focus is one part, but also what you said about needing interactions to stay engaged with writing (whereas I'd expect an NFP to be sufficiently hooked on the conceptual aspect) seems likely. I personally think the topics that interest someone in writing are not really dictated by MBTI, but how one approaches writing definitely is. High Se is also, generally, the best in my opinion at reading people; there's an attunement to body language. My guess here is ISFP.

The part about needing a routine to ground you/procrastination without clear deadlines is more in line with perceiving, though plenty of things (eg, ADHD) can complicate that, and going through this in order it was that followed by the comment on inauthenticity that led me to high Fi. It sounds like you're an introvert in MBTI but fairly comfortable with people, which is not unusual for feelers - I know a decent number of ISFPs and they tend to be quite personable but ultimately prefer to hang out with only a few people.

The ambition aspect is interesting though - you see this in high Se, to be fair, but much less so in the Se-auxes than with the Se-doms. I'm wondering if this is a relatively new thing, especially if you're at a point where inf Te would be starting to deepen.

[pocket-of-summer]

Chapter 4 - Author’s Notes

Hey! Thank you everyone for your patience. I’ve probably said this, I’m aware my update speed isn’t the fastest and even then each update isn’t that long (writing is hard)...of course this is just a personal project for myself first and foremost, but even I wish I could chip away at it a bit faster lol. Either way I don’t want to overpromise anything with this dumb little story so just come along for the ride, feel free to drop off and get on wherever 😂 Thank you for checking it out!

This chapter’s notes covers a bit on Akihiro and Zemimon, but also some stuff we saw in the chapter.

▶Go to: - Continue to Chapter 5

Akihiro

Akihiro’s given name (秋広 Akihiro) literally means autumn ‘秋’ wide/vast ‘広’. Ok so with the reveal of the gods(?) in this chapter actually their names kinda have some meaning! A bit! I’ll write more about it below.

His family name (小川 Ogawa) literally means small ‘小’ river ‘川’. That completes the family names being based on water 😂 I think they were supposed to be more important in the story, but now it’s just more of a...theme thing?

I remember in one of my old posts someone commented something like he gives off Iori (Digimon 02) vibes...yes!!! I guess I made him kind of the ‘good boy intellectual’ of the group haha, with some traits similar to Koushiro (Digimon Adventure) and Iori.

Zemimon

So, Zemimon’s initial design was actually meant to be like an insect-dino cross:

It’s a pretty cool idea right!? But I couldn’t really get any ideas for his evolutions, and also him being a dino kind of overlaps with Pangorumon’s dino-based evolution line. I do honestly like the idea though and might like to use it for something else in the future...

Zemimon’s next design is more bug-like, but leaning more mechanical? I wouldn’t mind it but I guess it’s hard to make bug designs look balanced as a cyborg (I feel like they can go either organic or mechanical-looking, but I struggle to design something that looks clearly in-between). And since there is that subtle theme of ancient gods(?) in the story, I kinda wanted to go for something more organic-leaning. Which brings us to the current Zemimon design!

Other notes

As mentioned earlier, the kids’ given names have kinda a bit of relation to the gods:

“Haru-no-Kami, the god of spring, he watches the heavens and the stars.” Haruka’s name (春日) means ‘spring sun’.

“Natsu-no-Kami, the god of summer, she watches the earth and the seas.” Natsumi’s name (夏海) means ‘summer sea’.

“Aki-no-Kami, the god of autumn, he watches the great expanse and all who exist within.” Akihiro’s name (秋広) means ‘autumn expanse’.

“Fuyu-no-Kami, the god of winter, she watches the flow of time and every moment in eternity.” Chifuyu’s name (千冬) means ‘thousand winters’.

Hahaha so the names have (a bit) of meanings...what does it mean?? Let’s hope I manage to survive and continue the story to the point where it’s explained a bit better 🤣

Also we saw Murexmon this chapter! I was already set on her general body shape but so indecisive regarding her helmet lol.

Also yes she can come out of her helmet! She doesn’t usually do it because she’s totally defenseless in this form. Imagine a soft slug, but without the slime...the texture would feel like a plush toy but alive, kind of. Does she have legs? It’s a mystery O:

Lastly, the enemy Digimon of this chapter is the official Digimon WaruSeadramon! Yes if you’ve watched Digimon Adventure there’s the not-so-subtle parallel of WaruSeadramon triggering Dedemon’s evolution like how MegaSeadramon triggered Ikkakumon’s evolution in Adventure lol 😆

That’s all for now! I start a new job tomorrow so I don’t know what that will mean for my already slow update speed 😵‍ I hope it goes smoothly so I can continue their story!

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

what's body back about 👀

okay this is coming at the perfect time because tomorrow’s video may or may not be all about BB!! 👀 also reminds me that I want to make a WIP intro for it! basic info is that it’s adult litfic!

The short answer is that BB is the bridge novella between Moth Work and Feeding Habits (which was a duology I wrote a couple years ago). If you don’t know, those book follow two men in a verrrryyy complicated relationship (Lonan & Harrison). MW is all about Harrison wanting to help Lonan & realizing he has to let that go in order to progress in his own life, and FH is about Harrison needing to see him again (for closure reasons, he says. Sure).

BB is the bridge between that gap, and when we see Harrison at his worst—his “I never want to see you again” era. I wrote THIS ask about it which is rambly but still super accurate.

And here’s the logline:

It’s 2005 in Las Vegas and 21-year-old Harrison is tired of routines, of gods, of men. On a mission to move past a complicated breakup, he’s about to get recklessly indulgent--and he’s come to the right place.

I’m hoping it’ll be around 20k! At nearly 7k now, which is absolutely bonkers. I’m thinking maybe 5 chapters?

Most of it so far has been deep Catholic contemplations, lol, which has been a bit unexpected because it implies Harrison would’ve gone out of his way to study the Bible at some point before BB starts, which I actually hadn’t planned for him to do, but clearly is what he did because there’s no way his voice would know all the allusions he makes otherwise (he’s an atheist who didn’t grow up Christian).

I JUST finished chapter 2 which was about 4k and called Immaculate Mary. This chapter was mostly about Harrison’s mother, Suzanna, who he now lives with post Lonan breakup. I didn’t think she’d get a chapter tbh but I see now that I needed that chapter to trigger Harrison into his glittery downfall lol.

I’ve been sharing a lot of it on here because idk I love this app for long and complicated musings lmao but probably won’t talk much about it on YouTube in comparison to SV since it’s sooo personal.

In a lot of ways, this book is just about being 21. I had such a hilariously bad intro to 21, and it’s only seemed to get worse, HAHA, and while I don’t often get sooo close to my writing to the point where I’m exploring my own life, I wanted to capture this very real moment of 21 year old Rachel’s life. I am not nearly as much of a disaster (affectionate) as Harrison, but some of those feelings are 100% mine. It’s why this project has been so cathartic for me lmao. I’ve never felt so personal about a project before. I want to hold this one forever. Me in 10 years is going to be like wow… all good?

Music has been… the most important thing in my life for this book and I could go on and on about the playlist which I’ll eventually make on Spotify (I am ancient and still buy my music LMAO).

Thanks for asking, always down to answer more q’s!

[bonesandthebees]

[“If we don’t hurry up, I’m gonna be Tommy’s grandpa by the time we get out of here,” Techno huffed] This seems like the perfect time to mention that I love the way you write Techno so much. He’s mainly a comedic character, but that doesn’t mean he bland or flat. He still very much has plot value and aside from being funny he’s also very protective. He has a clear personality to shine through. He’s also the character to make me laugh the most on a consistent basis and you always manage to give him quips to shift the tone of a second without it coming fully outta left field or feeling out of character.

And Techno and Tommy’s bickering is so much fun. It does fade to the background to show us something else. I said it in chapter 23, but Phil and Techno have learned to never leave Wilbur alone when he’s not with Tommy. Tommy moves with Techno and Phil stays with Wilbur (feels like a very q!Phil characteristic too).

And Phil has seen Wilbur zone out a lot over the past months. Our favourite Pythia is constantly in his own head. Which is not always a good thing. So Phil has to check on him. And you can see that this conversation has shifted Phil’s perception of Wilbur. And then one they are about to have shifts it further.

Phil starts by trying to figure out what has Wilbur zoned out since he probably looks at least a bit upset or conflicted. He starts by confirming that Wilbur and Tommy are like brothers. He might have picked up on the fact that Wilbur didn’t deny that bond outright, so it’s a safe place to start. He points out that they act like brothers, Phil himself has only just noticed how much they do now that Tommy put the idea in his head. (He could have noticed sooner, but this is probably the first time he labels the real action ship as such).

Wilbur then mentions that he never had siblings, which triggers Phil to realise that he doesn’t know shot about Wilbur’s family before he became the Pythia and that he’s never mentioned a family before.

[“Did you have any family before you were chosen to be the Pythia?”] He did not, which 1. Extra sus on Clara from Phil from now on. I’m sure he’ll make the connection to how much easier it is to take an orphan. 2. If Techno mentioned the rant the “nobody cared until everyone did” comment will make a lot of sense, and if Techno didn’t mention it, then it will make sense when when Techno hears about it.

3. I’m not saying this is the exact moment Phil adopts Wilbur (though I like to joke about it), but in combination with the conversation before this, an idea is very much starting to form. The idea of family wasn’t there, but it’s been offered. It’s more feeling than actual words. More tentative jokes than actual confirmation.

And found family doesn’t have to follow the same structure as a regular family. Techno and Tommy’s bickering shows that. He’s not Tommy’s father or uncle or whatever. There’s no label, but Tommy is still his kid. And Tommy confirming that he sees Wilbur as a brother turns that kid into kids, because these kids are very much a package deal.

But Phil realising that Wilbur has never had a family + they way he jokingly brushed of Phil being his dad, make it very clear that he has no idea how to be part of a family even if some part of him very clearly longs for one. As I said, and idea has been planted. The kid needs a family and Phil realises that he could give him that. Though they aren’t quite there yet.

(1/?) guess I have to start a new count since I closed the last one out of fatigue.

-🌲

aaa thank you I'm always so worried I don't give techno enough character in my fics but I also struggle so hard with his characterization so I'm just constantly trying to balance him, but I have a lot of fun writing his quips lol. and of course him bickering with tommy is always really enjoyable to write too

wilbur zones out literally all the time he's always stuck in his own head and it's definitely obvious to anyone who pays attention. phil can tell he has to check on wilbur, and like you said, his perspective shifts bc of that conversation

yeah phil of course could tell how close wilbur and tommy were at that point, but it wasn't until tommy said the word 'brother' that he really picked up on how much they act like brothers. and he wants to get a gauge for how wilbur feels about that comparison, and it's pretty easy to notice that he likes it more than he lets on

and then he realizes he knows nothing about wilbur's familial situation before he became the pythia. until it's confirmed. he definitely suspected that wilbur could've been a street kid like tommy, but the confirmation is certainly chilling.

exactly found family doesn't have to follow the structure of a typical family! even though tommy is basically phil's son, there's still something slightly different to their dynamic than father and son. tommy doesn't really think of phil as his father per se, but it's the closet word for it so that's what tommy rolls with most of the time. and then with techno he's very clearly some kind of combination of a parental/uncle figure to tommy as well, but again there's not a clear word for it which is fine. when it comes to ae duo, tommy's their kid and there's not much more that needs to be said. and now wilbur is slowly finding his way into this dynamic as well, and it's a careful balance to strike but phil sees what this could be