#that phrase sounds off to my little autistic brain but

[artheresy]

Creating the flags content that I want to see in the world

[asexual-abomination]

Hi 🥺 I saw requests were open? Could you maybe do platonic Phantom Troupe with the reader having echolalia? If the troupe is too much, maybe just Chrollo and Feitan? Thank you in advance 🥺

Thank you so much for this request! I had a lot of fun writing it!

I know that echolalia and a lot of other symptoms show up differently in different people, so I had to base this on my own experience, and I have a tendency to echo literally anything, words, sounds, rhythms, anything.

I decided to have this take place in a scenario where reader copies each member individually!

Chrollo

Probably the one who has read up on any and all of your symptoms, since he considers it his responsibility to be educated on your needs

When, after you happened to be sat in a meeting with the Troupe, you began muttering to yourself, he wanted to see if you were alright

As he walked up to after, hoping to speak with you, he was surprised to see you repeating a seemingly innocuous phrase from somewhere in the middle of the meeting

Chrollo would recognize this as a stim, but he wouldn’t understand immediately why you would be stimming something he randomly said

He would be a bit thrown off when your explanation is very simple, telling him that it just sounded right, felt right in your brain

He wouldn’t tell a soul, but a little part of him was proud that you found his voice that nice to listen to that you’d imitate it for fun

He definitely doesn’t mind, and even encourages any stimming in general, since he can see that it makes you happy

Machi

While most of her medical training is in more physical things, after it was mentioned that you were autistic, she decided to go and top up her knowledge of neurodivergency.

At one point during a mission, she murmured to herself to remember a safe’s code, not realizing that she was within earshot of you

Several hours after the mission was over and everyone was celebrating the spoils of victory, she overheard you repeating the code to yourself over and over again

She expressed her confusion to you, reminding you that the mission was over and there was no need for the code anymore

When your response was to tell her that the code simply sounded nice, she would probably get confused for a moment

Machi doesn’t quite understand how some random string of numbers can ‘sound nice’ but she also knows that your brain functions differently from hers

I don’t see her making too big a deal out of it, but she’d actually make a sly comment about how much you listen to her

Other than that, she happy to let you stim as you please!

Phinks

Probably not educated at all about the intricacies of your stimming or any symptoms in general, but he'll never get upset with you, since he understands on some level that it's just how you are

I'd imagine that the way you'd echo from him miiight come from overhearing him death threatening a scared hostage

Definitely spooks him when he hears you mumbling the harshest and longest string of curses he's ever heard

Mostly because you're spitting the words with the exact same tone as he did, and he thinks that you're trying to threaten him

(He doesn't wanna mess with you 😆)

When he finally figures out that you're copying him, he jumps to the next conclusion that you're mocking him

"What? Am I not intimidating to you? I sure scared that scum back there!"

"What are you talking about?"

His face when you explain yourself to him is nothing short of flustered, and he begins profusely apologizing

He gets super caught up whenever he's accidentally ableist, since he wants you to feel safe around him

Once you've cleared up the situation, he actually takes joy in seeing you copy him, and if he gets the chance he'll want to teach you how to be more intimidating

Uvogin

Another case of not really knowing what stims are, but being respectful of them anyway

I mean, man is literally eight feet tall, he doesn't care about whatever weird things anyone else might do

He roars at the back of his throat once, and that's it

When he's walking past you after a mission, Uvo's almost shocked to hear you making a vague growling noise constantly

Since he likes to lean into his animal side a bit more than others, he'll jokingly ask if you're trying to intimidate him, much like Phinks

When you explain to him to you thought that his roar was fun enough to copy, he also takes an odd sense of pride in it

He's not normally a man for any kind of subtlety, but if you actually found his roars pleasing to listen to, he'll see if he can roar at a volume that won't immediately burst your eardrums without protection or distance

If you do a lot of vocal stimming in general, especially imitation of his roars, I can see him taking you out to some mountain or cave or whatever to practice your roar for some fun bonding

Nobunaga

Okay so we know that he spends plenty of time around Machi, so she's probably explained some of the main symptoms of your autism at some point when he asked

But when he sits next to you and hears you trying to imitate the sounds that his sword makes when he charges it with his Nen, he looks at you incredulously for a moment

You may not have even noticed that you were echoing at first, so you'll probably be confused when you see him looking at you

"Oh, sorry, your sword just sounds nice!"

*Cue even further confusion from him*

Completely doesn't get how a sword sounds nice, but kind of has this "You do you, kid" attitude about it

May or may not invite you to listen to his practice and then wait until afterwards to listen for your echoes because he finds it cute

Shizuku

Okay I'm gonna be honest, when Blinky first appeared in show and made that noise, I was taken and kept trying to make the same noise for hours whenever it appeared

"Shizuku, why did you summon Blinky? Is something wrong?"

"What are you talking about? I didn't summon them?"

"Oh that was me, sorry."

Definitely has a giggle about it when she finds that you enjoy echoing her Nen ability

Will summon Blinky whenever you want to 'have a chat' with them

Very openly thinks you're absolutely adorable with it, and it's one of the first things she'll do every time she gets to see you

Shalnark

Honestly, he says everything with such a happy, upbeat tone, anything he says can be copied for fun

His laugh is the best, so you're probably echoing that

He's probably not too shocked when he hears an attempt his own laugh coming from down the hallway, thinking someone's trying to play a prank on him

But he'll be a little confused when he finds you

When you reveal the truth of what you were doing, oh god, be prepared

"Aww, you like my voice that much??"

"You do a pretty good impression of me, must spend a lot of time listening, huh?"

He WILL NOT stop until he gets to see you blush, though if he does overstep and upset you, he'll tone it back down immediately

Might not change anything especially big with his usual way of talking, but will take a moment to appreciate his own voice whenever he catches you imitating him

Bonolenov

THE MUSIC!!

Okay I know that they're mainly used for battle and injuring people's ears, but he definitely has more calm songs that he plays for his friends

When you first hear it, the tunes are so enchanting that you will be humming or whistling it for weeks afterwards

He's sitting and relaxing when he hears you attempting to hum the tune of a sweet lullaby he had once played for the Troupe

It's probably not a perfect replication, since it takes a while to learn the songs he makes, but it makes his heart melt to think that you want to try your hand at his beloved music

When he overhears you, he jumps in to begin gushing about the song you found so lovely

Asking if you'd like to hear it again -  he'd certainly love to play it for you again!

He might seem really overexcited, but he's genuinely happy that he can bring you joy with his ability

Franklin

Took me a moment to think of something for him, but after a while of thinking:

He speaks slowly and calmly quite often, so I can imagine that he can sometimes say things in very rhythmic fashion, which will catch on very quick

You're walking away from a quick chat with him, when he hears you whispering under your breath

Normally wouldn't even make a note of it, but he wants to make sure you're okay

(Definitely isn't worried about you and wanting to keep you safe)

His reaction when you tell him that you liked the way that he said something is a mix between "Oh, that's nice" and "What are you on about"

Has probably the least amount of education on stimming, but also one of the most open to learning, since he wants to do what he can to keep those he cares about safe and happy

Will be a bit put off by the way you seem to copy him at first, but definitely doesn't mind after a while

Silently thanks you for making him take a moment to appreciate his own voice

Pakunoda

Sweetheart hums a meteor city anthem one day, and isn't really shocked when she comes upon you humming it yourself

Since she's looked into your mind with her ability, she knows the way that you like to echo certain sounds, and doesn't mind at all

If she's listening from around a corner or such, she will smile joyfully and quietly wait out of your sight

Unless you catch her in the act, she's actually quite happy to not let you know of presence while she enjoys the thought of you enjoying her culture

But, if you do catch her, she'll probably start gushing to you about the origin of whichever song you wanted to imitate

She wants you to feel happy, however you wish to pursue that, and will absolutely hype you up in any sort of stimming you need to do

Whether you want her to ignore your echoing, or to join in whenever she hears, she's happy to do whatever you ask to keep you happy

Feitan

If he catches you copying something he said in broken language, at first he will assume that you were making fun of him

Not because he thinks that you're mean spirited, just because he's used to people mocking

With most members of the Troupe, he would show no mercy at this point, but since he actually likes you, you get one chance to explain yourself

Once you tell him about why you're copying him, he'll be seriously confused for a moment

Yeah he's never heard the word echolalia before

So you'll have to explain it to him

Probably doesn't immediately get it, but he lets you off the hook for it, since he does understand that you're very different from him and the others

Doesn't really think too much of it once you've cleared up that you aren't mocking him, although he finds it interesting to listen to you talking about how stimming works, even when he doesn't understand half of it

Kortopi

Actually another case that assumes that you're mocking him

He's used to being acknowledged as a weak link in the Troupe, and would get quite internally upset if he thought you were also in on the joke

I can't explain why I think this, but I actually see him as one of the most educated members of the group when it comes to any sort of neurodiversity, since I think he's neurodivergent himself, but he probably doesn't catch on immediately that this stems from your own autism

Wouldn't confront you straight away, but when he does, he tries to be as professional as possible about it

Cue a string of quiet apologies when you explain yourself

Quickly tries to explain himself to you, and you probably bond over how annoying it can be to have stimming misunderstood

Tries his best to let you know from then on that any symptoms you need to express are accepted around him, since he knows that you accept him as well

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Thanks for reading!

[scatterpatter]

"Where's the essay OP" Said no one, and yet here I am

Lampy isn't stupid, he's neruodivergent: a rushed-together masterpost

Disclaimer: I'm not a liscened medical professional but I'm neurodivergent who's close to many neurodivergent people so I know when certain traits strike me as very familiar... Also tblt is my comfort movie I've seen it probably over 100 times, not exaggerating, so if anyone here's an expert on it, it's me.

I'm only going by the first movie because while To The Rescue and Goes To Mars probably have evidence to back me up, I don't feel like sitting down to watch them as I don't have them as memorized as the original

Point #1: Lampy is arguably the most intelligent appliance in the movie

Honestly it apalls me that so many are convinced that Lampy is an idiot when he displays some of the most intelligent traits in the movie. I'll just list off some of the most important scenes that show this

1: When discussing a way to get to the city, Lampy comes up with plans that end up failing, true. But we should also consider that not only did Radio and Toaster come up with bad plans before deciding on the swivel chair, but 2/3 of Lampy's ideas involved the same mechanic: on something with wheels(yes the mattress had wheels for some reason) being powered by Kirby

2: "From here you can see the really big lamp!" This scene is simply due to the appliances being sheltered from the outside world. Lampy displays the same level of naive-ness as everyone else: Radio seems earnest in calling the sun a "really big lamp", and Kirby calls the grass "shag carpet". Lampy is not at a lower intelligence in this scene, he's exactly at the same level as everyone else

3: The scene with the storm really sells his intelligence. The appliances have a rudimentary understanding of electricity, most likely from being appliances, but Lampy displays an excelled level of understanding by sacrificing himself for the battery. He understands that batteries are powered by electricity, lightning is electricity, and by using himself as a lightning rod, he acts as the conductive metal to easily transfer this energy from the bolt to the battery. Technically this should have overcharged and fried the battery but we'll suspend disbelief for the sake of this movie.

4: He knew that stacking the appliances to roughly human height, creating a dark environment with ominous sounds, and putting Toaster at eye-level to scare the human with his own reflection... Again, this is an intelligent understanding of how to scare a human

5: It's unclear on whose idea it was to look up Rob in a phone book, however this shows that not only can Lampy read(most likely picked up from being Rob's reading light), ESPECIALLY when Toaster struggles to read, but also has an understanding of phone books, addresses, and finding humans based on family names. I cannot stress how intelligent this is for a sentient desk lamp

There's a few more minor examples, but these are the biggest cases. Lampy is intelligent.

Point #2: Lampy struggles with social cues and doesn't empathize as easily as others

My biggest point here is when people think neruodivergents are "dumb" for having trouble picking up on things like sarcasm when that just... isn't the case. A few notable examples include:

1: When Air Conditioner says "You're a real bright little lamp", Lampy doesn't pick up the sarcasm and thinks he's being complimented. Though he definitely shows a level of emotional intelligence because he looks to Toaster to confirm "hey I was complimented", sees they're still looking angry, and gets the hint that he was insulted without someone needing to explicitly tell him that, to which he then responds with "Heyyy >:("

2: Sometimes he's able to read the room and pick up on tones, but other times he shows a level of emotional density. Legitimately not knowing if Rob had returned even when seeing Blanky disappointed to the point of near tears... But then knowing "brains wouldnt hurt either" was a jab at their intelligence and reacting with appropriate annoyance... But also when Radio says "Things could be worse!", doesn't realize he's just saying that to make Toaster feel better and asks "How could they be worse?"

3: He bullies Blanky alongside Radio and the others, unclear if he's actually being a jerk or just "oh this is what everyone else is doing so this is the normal way to act", but he's legitimately confused when Toaster tries to explain why they're suddenly being nice to him. He doesn't get the "now I feel better" argument because his argument was "Well you were never this nice to him before". Even when Toaster tries to explain why it feels nice, it just doesn't click... until Toaster finds a way to explain that connects personally to Lampy's own emotional state. He has trouble empathizing until realizing "oh this is like this thing that I feel sometimes"

4: Something I've noticed when gathering evidence is that more than once, Lampy goes "Wow..." After someone gloats about themself(Twice with Radio, once with the Computer). It's clear by the third time, when Radio goes "What does that mean?" And Lampy responds "I don't know. [To Computer] What does that mean?" That he doesn't even know what's being gloated about, let alone why he should be impressed. He has the emotional intelligence to recognize when someone's gloating and the "appropriate" response of amazement, but it seems like it never comes from a place of earnest. (While Neurotypicals can and do engage in "performative" behavior, I tend to notice this way more commonly with neurodivergents)

Also the "wow..." Performative thing is VERY reminiscent of Peridot from Steven Universe(a characters who many autistic fans see themselves in and the creator herself saying she doesn't consider Peridot or any of the gems to be neurotypical) going "wow thanks" as her default "this is how I've been taught to show gratitude" response

Point #3: Miscellaneous traits that could be neurodivergent

These traits COULD be interpreted as neurodivergent, but I will admit they could also be interpreted as something else so like take these with a grain of salt

1: Lampy appears to have sensory needs. When sleeping, he needs to tap a rock a few times(presumably to make sure it's "right") before clonking his head on it. It's interesting because rocks aren't a very "lamp" thing whatsoever, and none of the other appliances look for pillow-ish objects to rest on, so this could be a sensory thing.

2: Lampy has an interesting vocal quirk: repetition of phrases at the beginning and end of a sentence. Instances include "How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly?" "All of a sudden you're being so darn nice to him all of a sudden" "The fact is there's just not enough facts" The third one is a bit of a stretch but the first two seem to indicate a possible pattern of speech. Part of me wants to say this could be a verbal tic or some type of verbal stimming, but I've never met anyone who has a tic or stim like this so I can't say it's a neurodivergent thing with confidence, but I wanted to mention this quirk regardless.

3: Physically saying how he feels. Two instances where multiple characters are laughing, Lampy speaks while laughing "That's funny - I'm dying!" "I'm aching with joy!". It's just interesting that no one else speaks while laughing and for whatever reason, Lampy needs to verbalize "Yes I find this very funny" as if simply laughing along isn't enough. I've seen somewhat similar stuff in neurodivergents who have issues expressing emotions implicitly so they state them explicitly instead.

4: I've noticed Lampy isn't touchy... except with Radio. Some neurodivergent people can have issues with physical contact, which could explain that. But I've also noticed that Radio also gives me huge neurodivergent vibes... But more importantly Radio is extremely touchy with everyone, Lampy included, hence them often getting into physical fights but also just- tapping them or wrapping a cord around the other and pulling him close(they're so in love but that's a post on its own). A possible explanation is Lampy having issues with touching others, but either feels comfortable being touchy with Radio(due to emotional bonds and trust) or simply recognizes "Radio likes being touchy so I should be touchy back". A stretch of an argument, I'll admit, but I think the interpretation is there and valid.

In conclusion

I mean idk if Lampy was written to be neurodivergent or if the writers just wanted him to be "quirky" and accidentally gave him a lot of neurodivergent traits, but he reads as very neurodivergent to me(probably autistic or adhd but I'm not a professional and can't diagnose him). But while I can chalk up neruodivergency being one of many possible interpretations of his character, I WILL argue that he's not "stupid" given the evidence we see throughout the movie

Tl;Dr: Lampy is evidently intelligent, but sometimes struggles with social cues, empathy, and overall shows numerous traits of neurodivergency

[mimicutie]

Pit is Autistic - A “Brief” Analysis

Kid Icarus: Uprising is my favorite game of all time, and one thing I love about it is the characterization of Pit. Specifically, I see him as autistic. Of course, this is just a headcanon of mine, but I wanted to write out a little discussion explaining why I see him as such as well as show some of the autistic traits he demonstrates in Uprising (and the occasional reference to the Guidance conversations from Smash).

(fair warning, this is not very brief)

Difficulty Understanding Words and Jokes

It’s made abundantly clear that Pit isn’t the best at picking up sarcasm or jokes. At times, he struggles with understanding words, phrases, and context. Here’s an excerpt from Chapter 11.

Pit: Good! There are survivors! Palutena: They’re a stubborn bunch hanging on like that. [...] Pit: Uh… stubborn? Palutena: Oh, I didn’t mean it like that.

Here, Pit doesn’t understand what Palutena means by “stubborn.” It’s pretty common for autistic people to struggle understanding parts of speech, such as words being used in different contexts than what they’re used to.

Medusa: Hmm… Now this is a little… bizarre. Pit: I know right? The mouth on that guy! I’d never talk like that! Medusa: That’s not what I meant. Palutena: Sorry. He can be a little… thick.

Once again, Pit is misinterpreting the situation. He doesn’t understand what Medusa is alluding to, thinking that she is talking about Dark Pit’s brash behavior. Palutena’s last comment hints that it’s very common for Pit to misunderstand people like this.

Pit: I’m Pit, servant of the goddess Palutena. I’m here to defeat Dark Lord Gaol. Magnus: So you’re here for a slice of the pie too? Pit: Huh? Pie? Where?

Chapter 2 has several examples of Pit not picking up on obvious jokes or idioms, and here’s one. Pit takes the idiom literally, not understanding what Magnus really means at first.

Viridi: Pit certainly is devoted to you, Palutena. Hades: Only because she squeezes his head wreath when he doesn’t follow orders. Palutena: You mean like… THIS?! Pit: No no no no no! You’ll squeeze my brains out! … (sigh) Why do I always fall for that?

In this example from Chapter 15, Palutena is clearly messing with Pit, but as he stated, he always falls for her jokes. Even though it’s clear she is just teasing, Pit can’t pick up on the fact that she isn’t being serious. He consistently struggles with understanding tone.

Pit: This is so annoying. Lady Palutena, help me out here! Palutena: Deploying the Palutena Super Sensor… Pit: I didn’t know you had a super sensor! Palutena: Hee hee. I don’t. You know I like to make stuff up. Pit: I can’t believe you’re messing with me at a time like this!

This dialogue from Chapter 13 is just another example of Palutena clearly joking while Pit does not pick up on it. Even though Palutena has done this time and time again, Pit still struggles to tell when someone, even a person he is incredibly close to like Palutena, is just messing with him. These are just a few examples. Pit commonly struggles with understanding language and tone throughout the game.

Using Words Differently

We can see that Pit has his own unique vocabulary with his own creative phrases like, “Calamaried!” “Re-defeated!” “Pulverazed!” and so on. Pit also makes LOTS of noises throughout the game, all of his “woohoo”s and “woah”s and whatnot. It’s just how he communicates, even if it's a bit particular or different.

Expressiveness

Pit is excitable. Like, really excitable. Sure, he’s a fun video game protagonist, but he’s always very happy-go-lucky and upbeat in a way that reads to me as autistic. Just look at how he jumps in excitement!

And when he gets the Three Sacred Treasure?! Gifs can’t really do the excitement in this scene justice. (link in case tumblr embed isn’t working)

Additionally, while Uprising doesn’t have a lot of cutscenes with Pit just standing around talking, in the ones where he does he is usually very expressive, using his hands to talk and whatnot. Added with his excitability, I feel that this shows us that Pit is so expressive and emotional because he’s autistic!

Extra Help

Pit needs more help with understanding things in comparison to others. Palutena often goes out of her way to guide Pit, whether it be giving him directions or explaining how to defeat an enemy. While Palutena’s advice does work as a guide for the player, it’s clear that Pit needs the help more than someone else his situation might. The clearest proof we have of this comes from Chapter 22.

Palutena: Watch out for that heart-shaped crystal barrier! You see, it’s— Dark Pit: Reflecting my shots back at me, right? Palutena: Well… yes. Dark Pit: I got it, so stop telling me what to do! 

Palutena is expecting Dark Pit to be like Pit, where she needs to explain to him what’s going on and offer her guidance. However, Dark Pit was able to figure out a strategy to defeat Pandora all on his own. Palutena is very aware that Pit needs a bit more help and prepares accordingly for him.

Accidental Rudeness

Many times throughout Uprising, Pit is shown speaking “rudely” towards gods or characters who have authority over him.

Pit: Oh, great! You’re the guy I’m looking for. Listen, I have a favor to ask you. Would you mind if I borrow your chariot for just a little while? Chariot Master: Your foolishness is matched only by your rudeness. How dare you charge in here, flinging unreasonable requests at me? [...] Viridi: You can’t really blame him for being upset. That was kind of rude.

Here, Pit is talking to the Chariot Master very casually, treating him like a friend despite the fact he is breaking into the Chariot Master’s tower and asking him for a precious artifact. Pit doesn’t see it as rude but Viridi and the Chariot Master clearly do. He is breaking an unwritten social norm by talking so casually to someone of high authority. Autistic people often misinterpret social situations or don’t act appropriately, sometimes resulting in “rude” behavior. There are several examples of this throughout the game, such as in Chapter 24…

Pit: You know, the Three Sacred Treasures weren’t exactly durable. Can you please make sure that this new weapon won’t just fall apart? Dyntos: Palutena, you’d be wise to put a muzzle on your chicken.  Palutena: I apologize for him. Again. Pit: I… I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to be rude.

To Pit, he is just stating a fact. However, it comes off to Dyntos as Pit being rude or even insulting his work. This is something that autistic people often do; they are blunt or honest about something, which is again mistaken as being rude.

Pit is also seen being more blunt when under emotional stress, such as in Chapter 20.

Pit: I trusted you because I knew you were on the side of justice, and… and light! But something is blocking that light now. This isn’t the real you. Viridi: Someone cue the strings… Pit: Would you mind holding the commentary for two seconds, Viridi? Phosphora: There are goddesses you’re talking to here, Pit. Watch your tone. Pit: Butt out, Phosphora! The goddess of light has turned dark. Skyworld is destroyed! Everything is wrong, and it’s up to me to make things right! Palutena: Oh, Pit. You’re just as naive as ever. Pit: I’m not naive!

Phew. This scene is pretty noteworthy to me because throughout the game, Pit is never really that angry or upset. He does show hostility, but he never really snaps at anyone, much less gods, like this. But when his home is destroyed and Lady Palutena is not herself, his emotions get the better of him. He doesn’t even seem to care that he is being “rude” to Viridi. I definitely see this moment as Pit having an outburst because of the stressful situation he is under. 

Scripts / Scripting

The most obvious example of Pit using a script is with his “rally cries” that he prepares before fighting enemies. Look at the idol description for this AR Card.

He practices his rally cries a lot in order to be prepared for battles with bosses. Pit even mentions practicing his rally cries in a later chapter.

Pit: Cells of Hades, hear my words! And, um… see my actions! Uh… something, something… I’m going to rain death on you! I can’t remember all the words, but that’s the general gist. Hades: My innards have so longed to hear your battle cry. How could you forget the words? Pit: I didn’t have time to rehearse. I’ve been busy fighting evil, okay?!

While some may see the rally cries as meaningless fun, I think it could be seen as Pit having a script that he likes to fall back to when facing enemies. 

His many references and quotes to video games could be seen as scripting, too. There are lots of instances in Uprising, and especially in Palutena’s Guidance, where Pit quotes famous video game phrases or imitates sounds. Which leads me to…

Special Interest

Pit’s special interest is video games. While Pit’s very vast knowledge of video games could just be because of Uprising’s fourth-wall breaking style of humor, I think it could also be seen as Pit having an intense interest in games. He references various video games such as Metroid, Nintendogs, and Super Smash Bros. in-game. He seems to enjoy bringing up video games or referencing video game mechanics whenever he can, which is very similar to how autistic people enjoy bringing up their special interests in conversations whenever possible. Additionally, while the Palutena’s Guidance conversations aren’t 100% accurate to canon, Pit constantly references and alludes to various video games in them, such as quoting Reyn in Shulk’s conversation or Peppy and General Pepper in Fox’s (which ties back to him scripting). It’s clear that he loves video games and talking about video games!

Pit: Those Aurum troops are doing their best Game and Watch impression! Viridi: Check out the gaming IQ on this guy! You’re a regular video game historian!

See, even Viridi is impressed with his video game knowledge! :D

Sensory Issues

Throughout the game, Pit seems to have an obsession with hot springs. It is never outright explained why he loves them so much, but I’m led to believe it is because of sensory reasons. Many autistic people use extreme temperatures to help soothe or calm themselves, such as cold showers or hot baths. It can often help with sensory overload. Hot springs, similarly to hot baths, may be a way to help soothe Pit and keep his sensory issues to a minimum. 

Pit’s habits with his tunic seem to hint towards sensory issues, too. He doesn’t like to be without his robes, stating that he keeps them on even when he’s in the hot spring. When his clothes seemingly get messed up in Chapter 21, he gets upset, exclaiming that it’s his only tunic. Wearing the same clothes or same types of clothes/fabric is pretty typical for autistic people, and Pit wearing the same tunic everyday is similar to that.

Additionally, Pit’s habits with food could be because of sensory differences. He very well could be hyposensitive to food and tastes, which is why he eats a lot and doesn’t seem to care about what he eats (as long as it isn’t vegetables, according to the Revolting Dinner short ;D ) . 

Small Social Circle

Pit doesn’t have a whole lot of people he can rely on. Before Uprising, the only person he seems to have any affinity for is Palutena. Other than that, he doesn’t seem to talk to anyone else. We don’t have a clear picture on what his relationship with the Centurions is like, but based off of the Revolting Dinner short and Chapter 17, he only really talks to them when he’s working as the Captain of the Army and not as a friend.

While yes, Pit is the only angel left in Skyworld, I still think it’s important to bring up that Pit only really has Palutena to rely on. By the end of Uprising, he has Viridi and Dark Pit as well, but his only clear and completely positive relationship is his mother-son bond with Palutena. I see this as Pit struggling to really befriend others. He’s had over two decades between the original game and Uprising to befriend the Centurions, but again, he only really has Palutena. It’s pretty typical for autistic people to have very small social circles, consisting of just one or two friends. Palutena seems to fit the role of mother and best friend for Pit, and she even remarks that he should make more friends in Chapter 4. 

Working Alone

This is a small one, but still something that I think is worth pointing out. Pit seems very adamant on accomplishing his missions on his own, telling Dark Pit on two separate occasions (Chapter 9 and Chapter 21) that he can handle the situation by himself. Similarly, it’s common for autistic people to prefer working by themselves rather than with others. Paired with the previous point about having a small social circle, this just reads to me as Pit not feeling too comfortable in situations with others.

Conclusion

There’s a few other points that I feel I could bring up but overall I think these are my main points summed up (and yes, I said summed up. this used to be over 2500 words) ! Thanks so much for reading! If you have any other traits that you think Pit has that I didn’t mention, feel free to share them, I’d be more than happy to hear! ^_^

[gaysimpsstuff]

Hey Max? Could you kinda shortly explain a little more about autistic people? Nobody ever taught me about this and I really want to be educated on it since I feel that it is very important. I have tried to google search it before but I don’t feel like I got a good response. I apologize for the bother. :/

I am not an expert- I’m not 100 or even 60 percent sure if I even have autism, but I am going to try.

If any actual autistic people see this, please please please add on and correct any mistakes I make, as I’m not fully educated in this matter myself and I don’t want to accidentally spread misinformation about anything.

Autism Spectrum Disorder (or ASD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder that can cause sensory issues as well as issues with understanding people and social ‘rules’

Symptoms can vary, and every autistic person experiences it differently, but the main thing to understand is that autism does not equal evil or stupid. Like, at all.

As a matter of fact, autism can redirect the brain to latch on to a piece of media or random subject and then BOOM you know literally every fact about it. (This is something that overlaps with ADD/ADHD, although the name for it is different for the different disorders. Special interest for Autism and hyperfixation for ADD/ADHD).

People with Autism sometimes don’t fully understand social rules, which can come off as rude or gross, but is never intended that way.

Another things is not really understand idioms and phrases, ones that don’t make full sense. This example is from a story I heard from an actual autistic person, when their friend mentioned walking a mile in someone else’s shoes and the person talked about how her sister’s shoes really smelled (or something I heard it months and months ago I don’t really truly remember)

Autism can also cause sensory issues, which is the main thing that can cause stress. Certain textures, sounds, colors and patterns, etc can cause extreme stress and can lead to a sensory overload (I don’t know if that’s the correct term or not). This is one of many things I relate to with autism, and certain things really bother me when others don’t.

It isn’t just overstimulation though, because there’s also understimulation, which often leads to stimming as a way to self express, manage emotions, and self stimulate.

Stims can be anything from just fidgeting and finger drumming to full body movements and sounds. I stim, and I often do a weird clap with the part of your hand just below your palm, and/ or make a little kitten noise).

This is pretty much all my information on autism, and I’m sorry if I left out any important details or got something wrong, please please correct me if I do.

Also please reblog this with more information if you have any

EDIT: thank you @zombiqueen1967

[armandyke]

The link between diet and autism: a critical analysis of the recent Earth Locker episode and a chance for River to relive her lab report title writing days

Link to the original video

So as I already mentioned I’ve seen a few people talking about the recent episode of the Earth Locker (a podcast by Robert Sheehan, Tom Hopper, and Bryon Knight) where they talk with Tom and his wife Laura about their experiences raising their autistic son. I watched the whole episode and while there were a lot of good points made, there was also some misinformation, statements that were poorly explained and could be misinterpreted, and a couple of pretty harmful ideas put across which I’m gonna go into below. 

Disclaimer one: I’m gonna be saying a lot of stuff that I’m not going to be posting sources for. This is because everything I’m saying comes from my experiences as an autistic person, my experiences working as a support worker for adults with autism where I am currently a key worker for two autistic individuals, my work related training on autism, mental health, and diet & nutrition, and my knowledge from my psychology degree in which I also spent a lot of time studying biology and physiology. This is all just stuff that I know, and at some point I might try to add some sources but I’m writing this fresh off watching and making notes on this video so my energy is already running a little low and I’d rather focus on getting my points across instead of having to take time to source every piece of information. 

Disclaimer two: The purpose of this post isn’t to attack or defend any of the people involved in the podcast. This is also in no way a criticism of Tom and Laura’s parenting. This is purely a criticism of the discussion that took place on the podcast, not on any of the choices they’ve made for their son.

Disclaimer three: I’m going to be using the phrase “challenging behaviour” a lot while I’m explaining things as this is the term used in most modern research and is what we use at work. This basically describes any behaviour that causes harm to the individual or to other people around them, or behaviour that is detrimental to the individual’s wellbeing. 

So the main thing I want to go into with this is the misinformation and misinterpretation of information that was central to the discussion in this podcast, and that was around the connection between diet and autism. Most of the things Tom and Laura said about the effects of diet weren’t incorrect, but it wasn’t explained accurately and missed out on some key points so let’s go: 

In terms of whether diet can “cause” autism: no it can’t. There’s absolutely no evidence to suggest it does. It also can’t “worsen” autism because autism isn’t something that can get “worse” or “better”. A person with autism can develop and learn new skills and they can also regress (and diet can influence this, which I’ll go into further on), but an autistic person at a lower stage of development does not have “worse” autism than a person at a higher stage of development. 

Poor diet can have an impact on autistic people in the same way as with neurotypical people. If we eat junk, we tend to feel like junk as a result, and when we feel like junk it can be harder to concentrate and carry out our usual day to day tasks. However, autistic people are also significantly more likely to suffer from digestive problems and food intolerances, and so for a lot of autistic people (or parents of autistic children) diet may be something that requires close attention. So saying that an autistic individual’s challenging behaviour could be a result of their diet isn’t necessarily untrue, but it does massively oversimplify the issue. The challenging behaviour is more likely a response to pain or discomfort, (as well as frustration if they are unable to communicate this), which is caused by a diet unsuitable for this specific individual, which is caused by an intolerance or digestive problem, which they were at greater risk of developing due to their autism. It’s worth mentioning that medical professionals still don’t know why this comorbidity exists. 

So, referring back to Tom and Laura’s experience with their son, they were explaining that their son’s challenging behaviour spiked while he was on a high-sugar diet. Laura also added that he had been suffering from increasingly frequent infections in his ears and throat while eating these foods, which makes sense because high blood sugar levels can weaken the immune system and make us more susceptible to infections. They then explained that these infections stopped following a tonsillectomy and a change to a sugar-free diet, which then also lead to a complete reduction in their son’s challenging behaviours. Again, implying that the reduction in behaviours is a result of cutting out the sugar is oversimplifying. It’s most likely that their son’s challenging behaviours were a response to the pain the infections were causing, which may or may not have been linked to his sugar intake. Either way, autistic people are all individuals and so while a reduction in sugar intake has benefited their son, by no means does that mean that all autistic people should be following a low-sugar diet or that this would be beneficial for them. 

This isn’t entirely on topic but there are two other things I want to address in terms of what Tom and Laura said while talking about their son, the first being when talking about their initial approach to their children's’ diet before they were aware that their son was autistic. Laura essentially said that she wanted their children to be able to try different foods and that the focus would be on education about health and diet rather than cutting “unhealthy” foods out of their diets completely, which I thought was a great way to approach things. However she then added that, had they known about their son’s autism at the time, they may have approached things differently, which I was confused about. I think (and hope) she was just trying to say that if they had known upfront that sugar particularly seemed to be detrimental to their son, they would have reduced that straight away rather than having to use a process of trial and error which makes sense, but just the way it was phrased set off alarm bells because it sounded like she was implying that they would have controlled his diet more strictly if they had known he was autistic. Hopefully this isn’t the case because autistic people don’t need to have their choices limited if there is no detriment to their health or wellbeing. 

Another thing I was confused about, and I’m not sure if this was supposed to be more of a weird analogy rather than factual information, was when Tom started talking about “sensory glands” when talking about their son’s hypersensitivity to sounds. I think his exact words were something along the line of saying that the high sugar levels were causing his “sensory glands” to “swell” which was heightening his sensitivity. And like... unless I missed something there is no such thing as a sensory gland and they certainly don’t swell up when we’re over stimulated or when we have a lot of sugar. Sugar triggers high dopamine responses in our brains which then leads to cravings and can cause spikes and crashes in mood, and it can also cause inflammation, all of which can cause discomfort and in turn could lead to an increase in sensitivity, but as far as I know sugar doesn’t have a direct effect on our senses. 

Now on to the elephant in the room and the two big, glaring no-no's in this podcast, both of which were said by Tom (these are not direct quotes because I didn’t get a chance to jot them down in time so I’m paraphrasing slightly):

“we cannot ignore the correlation between rising autism rates and the increase in fast food consumption” (spoiler alert: yes we can)

“I really want to get to the cause of autism and see if there’s something that can be done to prevent it”

So, first of all, autism isn’t something that needs to be prevented. Autistic people are not a detriment to society. We don’t have an illness, we just experience the world differently and, in some cases, require additional support to live our lives as fully as possible. Obviously it can’t be ruled out that fast food, or anything else, has a part to play in rising rates, but there is absolutely no evidence to suggest that it does and correlation absolutely does not equal causation. Gay representation in the media has also been steadily rising with rates of autism diagnosis. Does this mean that seeing gay people on TV makes people autistic? No. As Laura briefly mentioned, it is far more likely that the rising rates are actually due to an increase in understanding about autism and the accessibility of diagnosis, especially when you consider how many people are still slipping under the radar even with all the knowledge we have today.

I appreciate that most of this podcast is just a conversation between friends about various topics, but when the goal of this podcast is to “raise awareness”, and with the shared platform the people involved have, casual statements like these are incredibly dangerous. With the general implication that if everyone lived a healthy, clean, and organic lifestyle, we could reduce the number of autistic people in our society, this not only puts the “blame” on parents of autistic people, and on the individuals themselves, but is also dipping into eugenics territory. And while I don’t think the intentions behind either statement were malicious, they were incredibly ignorant, and the fact that they went completely unchallenged was concerning and made me pretty uncomfortable. 

There were still a lot of positives in the podcast. I’m really glad Laura was also involved because she definitely came across as being the most educated on the subject of the four of them and did make a point of bringing up issues with diagnosis (particularly among girls with autism), her and Tom’s privilege in terms of being able to work with doctor’s to find out as much as possible about their son’s dietary needs and to then provide him with a tailored diet, and also addressing the issues with “high functioning vs low functioning” when Rob asked about the “severity” of their son’s autism. However there was still an undeniable amount of inaccurate or poorly presented information, as well as some things that were just plain incorrect and offensive. I appreciate that a lot of this was coming from personal experience rather than being generalised information, but I think this could have been communicated a lot more clearly and effectively considering the intention was to spread awareness, and the episode would have massively benefitted from the input of an autistic adult. Rob specifically had a lot of questions about autism in general and I think they would have been much better answered by somebody with autism, rather than a parent giving an outside perspective of their child’s experiences. It’s always a little uncomfortable to watch four neurotypical people discuss autism, regardless of how positive their intentions are, and I don’t think it would have been a great challenge for them to find an autistic person who would have been willing to talk about the topic with them. 

[thechangeling]

Lost and Found:

Happy birthday Alex! @catadorass I hope this is everything you wanted, or at least sort of what you wanted lol. I wrote this from Ty's pov because it's really importance to showcase his side of the story. 

Nothing about us without us Cassie. 

"Hey can we talk" Ty heard Kit ask from behind him. 

It was late. Very late, most likely past 12 by this point and they had all just finished doing another late night round of frustrating and pointless research. They being, Ty, Kit, Dru, Jaime, Janessa a wayward Vampire who traveled all over with her band, but was originally from LA, Thais a Brazilian Shadowhunter who was dating Janessa, and Ash, the son of Sebastian Morgenstern and The Seelie Queen who had betrayed Janus, who had tasked Ash with infiltrating the Los Angeles institute and killing Kit. However, Ash and Kit had ended up bonding immensely. This had caused Ash to essentially switch sides and work towards protecting Kit from Janus trying to kill him. There was also The Seelie Queen trying to abduct him in order to obtain control of his powers, and generally anyone else who wanted to get their hands on the first heir.

At first Ty was a little worried that Ash was in love with Kit, but the pair seemed to be very platonic, just heavily invested in one another like Kit and Janessa. And of course Ty had no business being jealous either way. He and Kit had both been engaged in various- well relationships wasn't the right word, but various flings of sorts over the past few months, but he still couldn't help but think of Kit as his.

Which didn't make any sense because Kit had left.

What made even less sense was that Ty still loved him.

Ty braced himself and then turned to face Kit. It was clear how exhausted he was from the events of the past few weeks. They were up against The Seelie Queen, Janus, The Cohort, also several supernatural disturbances that didn't make a lot of sense. Anush, his friend at the scholomance was researching the problem there. It was quite possible that it had to do with Livvy's presence.

Ty really didn't want to think about that.

He also really missed Alyssa, a new friend of his that he had met while she was studying at the scholomance. But she had left to rejoin her werewolf pack in New York. They had bonded over both being autistic, and in moments where Ty was anxious or overwhelmed he wished he could summon her to his side.

Moments like this one.

Livvy was hovering nearby, giving him a look over Kit's shoulder. Ty ignored it.

Ty nodded at Kit without fully meeting his eyes. "Fine. We can talk. Liv can you leave us alone for a moment?" He asked. Livvy scowled slightly, but did as she was told. Looking back at Kit he couldn't help but still be slightly comforted by his presence. And even though Kit was visibly worn out and stressed, he was still the most beautiful thing Ty had ever seen.

Ty did his best to remain as cold as possible. "What do you want Kit?" He asked harshly. Kit flinched slightly in response, and Ty was caught in between feeling victorious and feeling like he had just been stabbed. Kit shook his head slightly.

"Come on Ty aren't you sick of this? Don't you miss me? The way things used to be?" Kit inquired angrily. "I'm sorry I left. But I forgave you. Isn't it time you forgave me?"

Ty honestly had no words. He just continued to glare at Kit. Did Kit honestly not have a single idea what Ty was feeling?

But wasn't it obvious? How hurt he was? How utterly broken he was?

Ty took a long deep breath to keep himself calm. His fingers were aggressively flicking at his sides. Kit took his silence as a sign to keep talking.

"Look. I talked to Dru."

Seriously. Now we're involving my sister in this? As if Livvy wasn't already bad enough?

"She sort of helped me realize some things, you know" Kit continued. "She pointed out to me that I should ask you how you feel, instead of just assuming that I already know." Kit was nervously shifting back and forth on the spot.

"Wow" Ty muttered sarcastically under his breath. He looked Kit dead in the eye and spoke. "What a revolutionary concept. That I should be allowed to speak for myself for once, and not have you, Drusilla or anyone else do it for me."

Kit sighed, his eyes softening. It was in that moment that Ty was close to forgiving him.

He desperately wanted to be able to run to Kit and throw his arms around him. To hold him, and kiss him and tell him how much Ty had missed him and that he was so brave and beautiful and sweet, and that Ty belonged to him.

But Ty couldn't cave now. Not until he made Kit understand.

"I'm sorry ok?" Kit pleaded. "I get why you're pissed but-"

Ty couldn't help it. He laughed. Even though nothing about this situation was in any way humorous. "No Kit." He shook his head. "You really don't."

Kit looked a little angry at that.  Fine. Ty thought.  If you hurt me then I'll just hurt you back.

"Fine." Kit breathed, his voice sounding surprisingly gentle.  "Then tell me."

Ty was instantly brought back to the roof of the London institute. Tell me. Tell me what you need. He willed himself not to cry.

Ty took a deep breath, glaring at Kit. "Alright. Here's the thing. I am angry. I'm so angry that I can hardly breathe and no one notices." Ty snapped.

Kit opened his mouth to interject but Ty shook his head, eyes blazing with fury and tears. "No!" He shouted. "You said your piece already. Now let me say mine."

Kit stayed silent.

"I am quite literally always dealing with everything coming at me all at once, and Kit I know this is a very horrible situation for you, but I am just as stressed as you are, because despite what you might believe, I don't want you to fucking die!" Ty screamed.

Kit looked absolutely horrified. Ty was pretty sure he had never heard him swear before.

"I'm dealing with new people, new dangers, and I might lose Livvy again. I have all of this stress, all of this sensory information bombarding me 24/7. We barely sleep! We're all constantly together when we're awake! There's no time for me to stim, no time to breathe because we are all working to rescue you from your own fate!" He shouted. "And I'll do it too! Because of course I will! "It doesn't matter if I'm angry, or stressed, or tired, or scared! It doesn't matter that you broke my heart when you left me because for some unknown reason, you thought I could handle it!" Ty cried.

Kit was shaking his head. But he didn't look angry, just devastated. "Ty" he whispered, but Ty cut him off.

"Everybody always seems to think I'm either unbreakable or far too fragile and I need to be coddled and I'm sick of it. "I'm furious with you for promising that you wouldn't leave, and then telling me that you wished you had never met me when I thought I was never going to get Livvy back" Ty sobbed.

Kit gasped. Ty noticed that his eyes were filled with tears. Kit shook his head aggressively. "Sweetheart no" he breathed. "I didn't mean that. I swear."

Ty heard himself make an unrecognizable sound. His fingers were now aggressively fluttering at his sides. He clenched them into fists to stop them from moving. Kit began to step forward then stopped himself.

"Sweetheart" Ty whispered under his breath in awe. Alyssa had once told him that what he was doing now was called sub-vocalizing.  He could hear her voice in his head. When our brains get stuck on a word or a phrase because it was so shocking or we can't stop thinking about it, or it brought out a huge emotional reaction in us, then we mouth it or we say it out loud over and over again.

"Sweetheart" he mouthed, warmth overflowing his body.

"I'm- I'm sorry" Kit stammered. "I didn't mean to upset you." Ty recovered himself quickly, shaking his head.

"No it's fine" he said firmly. "You just surprised me." Kit looked down at the ground. He looked embarrassed, defeated. He looked exactly the way he looked on the beach three years ago.

No. No don't go there. He doesn't really love you.

Ty continued on. "And at least I got Livvy back in a sense, but you still left me and I didn't survive that." There were fresh tears running down his face. Exhaustion was definitely catching up with him.  Ty partly just wanted to let it go and go to sleep, but he needed Kit to understand.

"You cannot under any circumstances ever tell an autistic person that you're never leaving and then go back on your word Kit!" Ty exclaimed. "This is why we all have trust issues! Because we're naive, so we let our guards down because we just want someone to choose us. Not out of pity but out of genuine love. And it wasn't like this had never happened to me before but you were supposed to be different." Ty said defeated. He looked over at Kit and waited for Kit's eyes to meet his.

Ty had always hated eye contact. Mostly because it physically hurt and made him feel really awkward, but also because it felt too open. Too vunrable. As though someone could see into his soul and know all of his secrets just by looking.

Well he had never felt that way with Kit. Or maybe he just had never cared about letting Kit really see him. All of him. And they didn't have any secrets from each other. At least not anymore. Kit looked back at him and Ty could see it all. Hurt, exhaustion, longing, and love.

Love?  Ty shook his head, physically willing himself not to be sucked in.

But there was no point.

"And that's why I fell in love with you" Ty admitted.

Kit's eyes widened almost comically. He inhaled sharply staring at Ty with an expression Ty was having trouble placing. Up until tonight, Ty hadn't actually looked at Kit. He had been avoiding it for some time now. Most likely because he was afraid of what he might see. Would he recognize the person that Kit had become?

But all Ty could see now was what he had actually been avoiding from Kit all those years ago. It was that look of complete awe and adoration. Like Ty had all of the answers to the secrets of the universe.

And Ty really really really didn't.

It was painful, because as much as he was angry with Kit, he also didn't want to hurt him or let him down again.

Ty fought to keep his voice steady as he spoke. "The worst part is, in the end I know i'll probably forgive you eventually. I will do what I always do. Take the high road. Be the bigger person and let it go because I have to. Because I'm never allowed to be angry Kit, and I'm not allowed to hold grudges because everyone is always convinced that I'm overreacting." Ty said bitterly.

 "So it doesn't matter that you hurt me. It doesn't matter how many nights I spent crying myself to sleep at the scholomance or how many bad decisions I made during some futile attempt to feel something other then pain, and it doesn't matter that you might hurt me again" Ty lamented. He was fully aware that he was crying, but that didn't matter anymore.

Kit was staring at him dumbfounded like Ty was speaking another language, but the pain in his eyes was clear.

Ty shrugged slightly. "I'll still love you Kit, no matter what, because that's just how I am."

Kit took a deep breath, wiping away at his tears. "Ty- I'm so sorry. I-             I didn't know" he stammered. Kit slowly began to approach Ty, carefully as if he were a wounded animal. "I'm sorry I didn't think about it like that. When I told you I loved you and you didn't say anything back, I just assumed you didn't want me, that you didn't care." He was standing directly in front of Ty now, and Ty couldn't help but stare into his eyes.

Suddenly, Ty was overwhelmed with the powerful urge to touch him. To reach out and comfort him. For Ty it was almost as instinctive as breathing. Instead he just shook his head.

"That's not true, it never was" Ty said adamently. "I was torn apart. Everything with Livvy was just too overwhelming and I just couldn't lose her Kit!" He protested forcefully. "But I always cared about you. I honestly just thought you knew."

Kit paused for a moment, then slowly reached for Ty's hand. Ty didn't fight him, only watched as Kit traced the lines on his hand. After a pause, Kit looked back up at him. " You're right. I shouldn't have assumed. I should have just asked you how you felt" Kit admitted. "I'm so sorry Ty." His voice broke. "I'm so sorry for leaving, for making you feel like I didn't care." Kit lifted his other hand, the one that wasn't holding onto Ty, and placed his palm softly on the side of Ty's cheek. He shook his head, almost in disbelief.

Ty fought the urge to close his eyes and lean into it.

Kit continued. "Honestly the truth is Ty, I fucking adore you. I love you so much." Ty heard himself inhale sharply. Kit was so close now, only centameters apart. It wouldn't take much just to lean over and kiss him.

Wait.

No. Not yet.

We're not done.

Ty scoffed slightly. "Yeah you say that Kit, but at the end of the day those are just words. Pretty, empty words." Ty almost regreted it as soon as he saw the look on Kit's face. Up close he could see the heartbreak in his eyes. Ty could also see the dark circles under his eyes which were a little red. He could see the dried tears smeared across Kit's cheeks.

Ty couldn't help but look at the broken boy in front of him and hate himself a little for the damage he had clearly caused.

Look at what you did to him, a cruel voice inside him whispered.

This is what you do. You hurt people, break their hearts and make them regret ever knowing you. This is all that you are. Selfish, cold and cruel.

Ty shook it off. It wasn't true. He loved Kit, just as he loved his family and his friends. It didn't matter that there were some people who refused to see that, refused to see that just because he felt differently, didn't mean that he was unable to feel. Some days, the sheer strength of what he felt for Kit threatened to break him in half it was so powerful. It was almost too much to bare. So Ty squashed it down and pushed it to the side, molded it so that it was more manageable and less scary.

Kit let out a soft breath of air and closed his eyes, he let go off Ty and dropped his head forward so that it was resting against Ty's shoulder. Kit was slightly shorter then Ty which Ty had always found amusing. Kit, less so, but secretly one of the things Ty had always loved about their height difference was that he could tuck Kit into the nape of his neck. Ty loved the feeling of Kit's curls against his skin.

"This isn't empty Ty" he murmured, nuzzling the side of Ty's neck. "This is everything."

 Kit's voice was so quiet that Ty almost didn't hear him.

Kit pulled back slightly and tilted his head up to look at Ty. They were so close that their noses were slightly touching. Kit was staring up at him through half-lidded eyes. His hands were trailing up Ty's arms, pulling slightly at the fabric of his sleeves. His lips were parted slightly, staring up at Ty with so much love in his eyes.

"Beautiful" Ty whispered under his breath.

 Kit looked utterly beautiful, and before Kit had the chance to answer him Ty was pressing his mouth to Kit's in a deep passionate kiss. The moment their lips touched, Ty almost let out a sigh of relief, sliding his hands up to Kit's face to cup his cheeks. Kit made a sound that was somewhere between a gasp and a moan, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss. Ty could feel Kit's hands all over him, rubbing across his back and then finally settling on Ty's waist. Ty pulled back slightly, noticing that Kit was straining himself to reach Ty's height, pulling himself up on his tip toes.

Ty couldn't help but laugh. "You really are quite short aren't you?" He teased. Kit looked like he was about to cry so Ty kissed him again, attempting to pour all of the love he had for Kit into the kiss. He slowly moved his hands down Kit's body, then bent down slightly to lift him up. Kit wrapped his legs around Ty's waist and threw his arms around Ty's shoulders kissing him sensually. Ty clung to Kit even tighter, afraid of what would happen if they let each other go.

 He remembered way back when he and Kit had first been getting to know each other and Kit had told him that he was pretty sure Ty was autistic. He had given him a bunch of articles and official clinical descriptions and terms that made Ty feel distant and afraid. But then he had recommended Ty check out posts on social media sites made by autistic people and Ty had been completely swept into it. There was an entire tag on tumblr dedicated to autism, and Ty had spent hours scrolling through the posts feeling overwhelmed in the best way possible by a sense of community and belonging.

 He had come across this one blog dedicated purely to autistic love and lust and how it manifests differently. Ty remembered reading one quote in particular that had made him feel hot and shivery all over, and painfully aware of Kit's presence next to him. It had stayed with him all this time.

I want to ink myself underneath your skin.

Ty  gently put him down for a moment and leaned his forehead against Kit's. They were both breathing heavily.

"I missed you" Ty whispered. Kit smiled at him beautifully.

"I missed you too sweetheart."

Edit: This is old but I'm tagging @ti-bae-rius in this because I honestly just want your opinion lol.

[candied-peach]

ao3: “icing infinity” rating: T warnings: food, autistic patton, LAMP genre: fluff description: Patton makes cookies for autism acceptance month. His boyfriends help. for anon prompt: "I just wanted to know if you could write some autistic LAMP or Logicality, usually Logan or the creativitytwins are hc autistic, but I really like autistic Patton. :'))

One of Patton's hands beats a happy rhythm in the air as he dances around the kitchen, pulling down the ingredients he needs to make cookies. He normally prefers to make chocolate chip cookies (they're his favorite, especially with extra chocolate chunks), but he wants to decorate these and for that, he prefers sugar cookies.

"You forgot your apron," Virgil says, poking his head around the corner. Patton's cheeks flush pink when he spies his apron, neatly folded over one chair.

"Thank you, Virge!" Patton says, grabbing it and tying it on. It's baby blue in color, with the words "all you knead is love" written in curly script over a loaf of bread. "I'm making cookies, want to help me?"

"Sure," Virgil says, skulking properly into the kitchen, hands tucked in his jeans pockets. He rocks back and forth on his heels as he watches Patton work. "How uh, how can I help?"

"Why don't you take the big mixing bowl-" Patton points. Appropriately, it's light purple. "-and start mixing the dry ingredients. I have the recipe out, but you can ask me for help!"

"Okay," Virgil says hesitantly, grabbing the bag of flour and getting to work.

"Pat? Have you seen Virgil, he's left his- Oh," Logan says, coming to a stop. "Well, I suppose I don't have to ask you where Virgil is anymore, do I."

"He's right there," Patton says, helpfully pointing a wooden spoon in Virgil's direction.

"You left your chewelry in my room last night," Logan says, depositing a silicone purple bat in Virgil's hand. Virgil immediately goes crimson as he stuffs it into his pocket.

"Chewelry?" Patton asks. "What's that?"

"It is jewelry that is meant to be chewed on," Logan explains. "Virgil uses it to calm his anxiety. Have you never seen it, Patton?"

"No," Patton says, curiosity piqued. "It sounds interesting."

"Here," Logan says, concentrating for a moment. He hands Patton a chocolate chip cookie-shaped one. "You can chew on it and it's safe. Much safer than biting on your fingers, for instance, or chewing your lip."

"I do that a lot," Patton admits. He looks down at the stim jewelry in his hands. "Here goes nothing!" He says brightly, slinging the necklace over his neck and popping the edge of the silicone in his mouth.

"Oh!" He exclaims in delight a second later, his voice muffled by the chewelry in his mouth. "This is nice!" He flaps both hands in the air, his fingers a blur, as Virgil and Logan look on, smiling.

"Roman could probably make you a bunch of different ones," Logan says. "If you wanted." Patton nods eagerly.

"Back to cookies!" He says, spitting out the stim jewelry and letting it dangle against his shirt. "Do you think Roman wants to help, too?"

"I shall retrieve him," Logan says, volunteering. "If it involves anything creative, he is 'in', as they say."

"I got all the dry ingredients, I think," Virgil says, pushing the mixing bowl Patton's way. "Is that right?"

"Looks right to me," Patton says, cheerful. "Now, let's see if we can finish mixing the cookie dough before Ro and Lo get back!" He giggles at his turn of phrase, and even Virgil can't help the snort that escapes his mouth.

They finish just as Logan and Roman return, Roman with a smear of glitter across one cheek.

"Ooh, cookies!" Roman says. "What kind, Pat?"

"Sugar cookies!" Patton says. "So we can decorate them easier. I have lots of red icing and all the colors of the rainbow!"

"Sounds good to me," Roman says, with a grandiloquent flourish. "Love the apron, by the way." Patton's face turns happy pink as he glances down at his clothes, now lightly flour-dusted.

"You like it?" He asks. Roman nods.

"It is...perhaps...creative word play," Logan acknowledges. It looks like it caused him physical pain to admit it. Patton grins, bouncing on his toes.

Thanks to mind palace physics, the timer goes off a few minutes later and Patton is free to pull out all the sugar cookies, putting them gingerly on cooling racks and pushing a rack toward each person.

"Decoration time!" He announces. Virgil tentatively pokes one cookie, surprised when it doesn't burn him.

Patton finds his new stim accessory tucked firmly in his mouth as he decorates, absently chewing as he smears red icing across the surface of one cookie and ponders how best to create a rainbow infinity sign on another.

"This is nice," Roman says, with a soft sigh. "I was going to go adventuring in the Imagination this afternoon, but-" He looks around at all his boyfriends. "This is better."

"I was just gonna listen to My Chemical Romance all day," Virgil mumbles, adding a thick layer of red icing to the cookie in front of him. Patton turns curious eyes onto Logan, who looks like he is trying to draw a brain on his cookie in pink and white.

"I was going to read an Agatha Christie novel," Logan says. "But I have to agree with the rest of you. This is far more enjoyable."

"Because we're together," Patton says. It comes out muffled, thanks to the silicone cookie, and his boyfriends look at him in confusion. He hastily spits it out again and repeats himself.

"Agreed," Logan says. "Do you like it?" He holds up his cookie. Red borders it on all sides, and he's managed a very passable imitation of a brain.

"I love it," Patton says genuinely. "All of it."

The infinity sign he manages is a little lopsided on one side, but he thinks it's never looked more beautiful.

tag list: @k9cat @paravigilant-virgil @croftergamer @airiervessel @ambersky0319 @yalltookmyurlideas @bexxbeauty @ihateitwhenyourejustvague @matthindavick @killjoy-3000 @littlestliu @did-he-just-hiss-at-me

[makimakikun]

Maki Katsuragi: The Autism Theory

Maki Katsuragi could be on the autism spectrum. Here’s why! TW: Abuse mentions/references, mental disorders/disabilities in-depth, child abuse, psychological aspects, and childhood conditioning. 

I think the common conception of mentally ill/disabled people not being confident in nature or never being able to fit into a setting isn’t entirely accurate for everyone or a good way to sum up such a wide variety of people. 

Let’s go into maki’s personality. His most noticeable quality: he’s confident. He’s confident enough to shape the environment he enters if he wishes. He’s confident enough to make people bend or even change their entire perspective on things. 

Did you notice everyone had false misconceptions about him? Everyone was surprised when he said certain things, like they weren’t expected of someone “with his personality”. For example, what he told Itsuki after he hit the boy with the racket, what he said when Tsubasa held the racket, what he told Yuu after confronting them, what he said to Touma after the matches, etc.  There are so many examples of people misconstruing Maki. People thinking he’s not as smart or as considerate as he actually is.

Why? I think it’s because he comes off a certain way. He seems too confident; too formal; too anti-social; too whatever. Everyone has misconceptions of everyone else, but these are things I heavily related to: the ways everyone saw Maki. 

To add personal experiences-- in the environment I was raised in, I had to be confident. I had to learn how to confront opposition with a calm war face. I had to learn how to speak; how to stand; how to stare into people’s eyes despite being uncomfortable with it; how to seem like I did things with little thought to them, despite the fact that I overthought constantly. This made many people think I was an airhead, or just generally not as smart as others.  I’ve had many people be really surprised that I was insecure, that I had issues, that I was smart & analytical. it’s happened to most people I met. These same misconceptions are bred when people see Maki, just because he’s confident and makes talking/moving/doing anything look easy. While we can see he’s smart as the audience, the other characters cannot, and this is important to remember.

Living while mentally disabled in a situation where you have an assigned job (like mediator & provider, which are Maki’s jobs) and huge responsibilities (both household chores/jobs and/or emotional support, which are also Maki’s jobs) is different from living while ill in a situation where your responsibilities are limited (like Touma’s).  There are many reasons why Touma’s issues seem more relatable and noticeable to the audience than Maki’s, and it has to do with the familial and outside dynamics they experienced throughout their life, as well as personality and disorder conflicts.

By personality and disorder conflicts, I mean that Maki and Touma have a lot of differences, both in upbringing, personality, and in the disorders I believe they have. Maki contrasts from Touma’s Autistic relatability most likely because he seems to have both ADHD and Autism, in my opinion. It’s a combination that can leave you a lot more jumbled and harder to relate to than just having Autism or ADHD alone, like I headcanon that Touma only has Autism.

Circling back to Maki’s personality. He seems to have a case of Chronic Chillness, outside of his obvious impatience issue, which I think is an indicator of his trueness as a person. In that respect, I mean that his impatience may be an indicator that he’s not as nonchalant as he seems. This is a huge part of my own mentally ill experience, so I felt the need to mention it.  It doesn’t mean I never look anxious or that I’m never anxious; It’s that no one sees it or suspects it. Sometimes I even convince myself. I have lax shoulders, I make lazed movements, I speak confidently & a lot of the time with slang or curses. Maki exhibits these qualities as well, aside from the cursing. However, I become starchly formal with people I don’t plan on befriending or becoming close with - esp in a professional setting (I.E. how Maki acted with the teacher and meeting the team, as I’ve concluded his original belief was that he wouldn’t attempt to attach himself to the team emotionally at first) - and I add formality to most newer people unless it’s a casual setting and I want them to feel comfortable/welcome. 

I create environments where either respect is expected or people feel obligated to bend in their hatred, whether it be out of insecurity, fear, or genuine appreciation. Maki does speak confidently and calmly, and he does all that I listed, in my opinion.  Let’s talk about the symptoms and symptom portrayals.  ♡ First up on the list: Intensive focusing/ Hyperfocusing/Interest in specific topics alone, with a habit of losing interest or not showing interest in other things. This is one of the most talked-about symptoms in processing and learning disorders from my experience.  One could say Maki is the definition of this symptom. He shows little interest in school, clubs, or any other subject besides astronomy. Specifically, as of most episodes, his book given to him by Ryouma, which he seems to continuously read despite it being a small book. We can assume he may be reading it over and over again.  The only club he now focuses on is soft tennis. That began from a place of obligation, not genuine interest. He seemed to have felt morally obligated to join after receiving a promise to money and a racket. However, we can assume he’s more emotionally invested in this team now, after rekindling his friendship with Touma and meeting the club members.  His focus on the club is obvious. He allows it to be a part of his daily life, and seems to even spend his off-time putting together schedules for their play, as seen in the episode where Rintarou and Touma speak privately. He also speaks of soft tennis during breaks within the school or dinner at his own apartment, as seen in the episodes where Yuu, Kanako, and Touma visit.  ♡ Moving on to the second symptom. Tics, like repeated motions, phrases, or movements. These movements or phrases can vary in frequency and noticeability. It can be shown subtly or as a common and known action that this person does every day. Maki Katsuragi seems to have a catchphrase - saying “I see.” or “naru-ho-do”, but since this isn’t your typical anime and the characters are portrayed as a lot more realistic than troupes, we can assume this could be a sign of a tic. He also tends to make strange movements while thinking, which is a sign that he’s trying to process what he’s about to say or what he’s thinking of.  This scene, in particular, stood out to me. While thinking, Maki idly swung his hand in circles. This is something I do personally as well. I tend to circle my hands while thinking to either enunciate my words or figure out a way to explain what I’m about to say, as well as try to process things I’ve heard. 

♡ On to the third symptom, which is - in my opinion - a very important one. Trouble showing or expressing certain emotions well or clearly. This can range from ways of speech, to expressions, to body language, and so forth. This can be both subtle or severe, depending on the case. Maki seems to be the type that wears smiles on his sleeve in good situations, but... let me ask you a question. Did anyone see the ending coming? I can’t say that I did, but I can tell you that I don’t think it’s unrealistic for it to happen. What I noticed about Maki is that he’s not the best at showcasing emotions outside the scope of positive or neutral, which is a huge indicator of many things. Two of them are some of the main issues in his life. Physical and mental abuse (from his father), and an overly cheerful and somewhat neglectful parental figure whose nature most likely makes him feel obligated to keep up a facade and not vent his frustrations (like his mother). In truth, many of the scenes where Maki was happy in recent episodes could’ve been motivators for him to pick up the knife. The looming threat of his father never went away, and when you’re in a happy situation, while there’s a threat still lurking, it can leave you to wonder when all these good things will be taken away. His mother possibly being hurt or even kidnapped are huge solidifiers for his resolve. I’ll be addressing this motivation-driven argument further in another post. Moving on now! Maki shows very few expressions. One of his most common being a blank face that looks a touch angry. It doesn’t mean he is angry; I think the intention behind his facial expressions is that he has trouble showing a relaxed neutral expression as well as having what many would call a “resting bitch face”. Most of his expressions range from constant neutral, curious, scared, happy, or the occasional mad. His voice tone is also key here. He often speaks around the same keys. His voice is quiet and calm, with the occasional hint of playfulness. However, it rarely rises or falls drastically, unless in a serious situation. Even then, Maki still doesn’t sound very different from his usual tone.  He also moves very directly and with purpose. It’s rare for him to show hesitation or anxiety, which may be a product of Autism, ADHD, and/or living with his father, where any sign of fear, sadness, or anger could cost him. ♡  Here’s a fourth symptom. Not remembering information, especially information not regarding hyperfixations or general interests. This is common in many illnesses but is hugely prevalent in both Autism and ADHD.  This is shown especially in the scene where he meets Kanako Mitsue for the second time canonly. He didn’t even remember her face, name, or room despite just meeting her yesterday. This is a huge indicator of a memory problem regarding information his brain considers “not important”, as he seems to remember most things about his interests and chores clearly. 

This is getting increasingly long, so I think I may be ending it here! This is a subject I could go on and on for, but I think I made some good and valid points here! It took me a long time to finish this, as my motivation is lacking.  Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! 

[prettywordsyouleft]

Hey Chelle, I haven’t come to cc for a while D: wanted to pop by!! How was your week? Tell me anything about it :D I’m going for an interview for an internship at an Autism school next week, and I was thinking about what kind of attitude one should have in such a setting. I don’t have much interactions with individuals with special needs, and I feel that my society doesn’t really integrate them well.

Although there is support in terms of resources, not as much in terms of societal mindset in general because a lot of people aren’t sure how to interact with them. I think it’s a lot better as compared to the past though. What is it like in New Zealand? If you have any advice it’d be greatly appreciated :) (honestly I’m not sure if what I’m asking is clear lol, let me know if it isn’t!!)

I think a clearer way to phrase my question would be - what kind of attitudes/ traits/ mindsets do you think the interviewer might be looking for?

________________

Hey lovely! I hope you’re doing well! My week has been really busy with so many ups and downs, I haven’t really given myself the time to acknowledge much of what has happened! 

I think it’s important to be yourself during the interview. Because if you try to be anything more than that, and then you spend time with special needs people/children, you’ll soon realise that you can’t expect traits you highlighted in an interview to get the position will help you.

It sounds a little negative, and I am actually really proud to hear that you want to work in this field, but as someone who employs someone to come and work with our Hayley, talking yourself up won’t help in the long run. We just had to go through a rather frustrating period of terminating the person who worked for us because she seemed great in the interview but wasn’t prepared to put in the work when Hayley lost all interest in her and decided this person was a nuisance.

Before I say anything more, the below response is all from my experience and if I’ve made an assumption that offends other people who use this website with Autism, I’m really sorry. I know every story, and every experience is different <3

I’m not sure what type of position you’re applying for and what the role entails, but here’s my honest opinion on what you could come to expect:

Autism has an entire spectrum and looks different on each individual. You can think you understand it to a level and the behaviours associated with it, and then the individual will throw you off down a completely different path. 

Patience is a virtue and one you must have even if you feel like you have none left. 

Being open to understand, even if you don’t, is crucial. My sister will tell you fantastical stories that she believes actually happened. She will feel validated if you listen to her and acknowledge her whilst telling of said stories. Each person will have their own thing that they really want to be validated over. Try to find it and encourage it.

Never try to correct the thinking that person has. Trust is a huge thing to gain and keep with some autistic individuals. Always aim to guide them to the right answer, as opposed to saying their thought process is wrong.

Fear of rejection and failure are huge for a lot of the kids I’ve had contact with. Most of them won’t even try something, because they believe they’re no good. 

Changes have to be done gradually. Change is one of the biggest triggers for most people with Autism. Some will be quiet through it, and others will have giant outbursts. Something as little as placing an item in the school room in the wrong place could trigger this for some individuals, so having an attention for detail is a must. 

Tears. There will be tears. Some days are rough, and others will be so rewarding. Happy tears are a thing... crying out of sheer frustration is too. This work is emotional. You’re essentially watching over people as they grow and share their world with you. 

Be prepared to admit when you need help. There’s nothing wrong with asking for it, and improving your understanding in the process.

If you’re looking to make this something more than just an internship, I recommend finding books on Autism to read. Understanding why the brain works the way it does really helped me navigate the behaviour we see on a daily basis.

If you’re working with children during puberty, they will be more sensitive, and naturally more complex to understand. Younger kids from my experience seem to be very black and white... you can tell when they’re having fun, and when you need to back off or when you need to support them more. With teens, at least, with our experience, it’s like trying to go upstream through a strong current. Sometimes you hit into rocks that you couldn’t see along the way. 

I know the above is a lot of information and a lot of it is based off my own experience with Hayley, and her siblings (all have it), along with a couple of times being in her classrooms. It’s not easy, but I don’t think you applied thinking it would be. There’s so much to gain from a role like this, and I hope it helps you make changes to the people around you in understanding more about special needs. Every little change makes a difference.

Here, we don’t have nearly enough support for kids like Hayley. And to get it, you literally have to jump through hoops and even then you will face the reality of still not getting it. We’ve been struggling all year for help with Hayley... and it’s only coming through now after 5 professionals all ganged up on the service we required to give it to us - and as a result, those professionals now have to stop their support so that service will give theirs. Ridiculous that they can’t all work in harmony with each other, right?!

As for how society sees them - there’s always someone who stares and judges. There’s always will be. Narrow-minded folk are everywhere, and when they see a kid playing up in a store, they probably think it’s because they’re a brat or the parenting is awful. I’ve had people come up to us when we’re just taking Hayley back to the car with an outburst when she was younger, tell us we’re abusing her, all because she was screaming “you’re hurting me!” - yet if anyone was hurt, it was us because she would kick, bite, scream and twist your wrist all whilst yelling this.

We were blessed with giving Hayley a stable home when she was 4. We had no idea what we were getting ourselves into as she wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until 7-8 and Autism when she was 12. Sure, it’s been one hellish ride along the way, but I wouldn’t change it for anything. And, I think I’ve become a better person through educating myself over special needs and opening my mind to why things are different for these special humans. 

I really hope this helps you.

________________

My ask box is open for this week’s Chelle Chats!

[disabled-queen-hc-blog]

This blog is beautiful and your writing makes me joyous, you’re incredibly talented ❤️ Could I please request some Autistic!John joining the band and the rest of Queen inevitably falling completely in love with him (platonically or not)? Basically anything painfully soft ❤️

“How’re you liking the new guy?” Roger asked, poking his elbow into Brian’s side. 

Brian made a contemplative face before shrugging. “As long as he can play the bass and not get in the way, I don’t really care if he’s, uh, weird,” he said, head tilting a little as the two of them watched John in a far off corner. He flapped his hands a bit before plucking some notes on his bass, looking at the music sheet before him. He’d have to let out some more flaps before he could finish what he was practicing. 

“I’d say a bit more than weird,” Roger said with a sneer only to whine when Freddie, who was passing by slapped his head proper. 

“He’s not going to want to stay in the band if you two keep gawking at him,” Freddie hissed, proceeding to slap Brian’s head too. Brian’s curls were a buffer, but he still frowned rubbing the back of his head. 

“Now go talk to him like normal people rather than sitting back and gossiping like old maids,” Freddie continued, his dark eyes nearly black as he squinted at them. 

“We’ll play nice, jeez,” Roger replied, hands up defensively. 

But none of them went to talk to John. Not that John noticed, too busy focusing on learning as many songs as possible.

♚

“Brian!” John called, a glow on his face and in his voice when the taller walked into the room. 

Brian was pulled from his day dreams, blinking as John approached him, fingers wringing and wriggling excitedly. 

“Hm?” he said, rather disinterestedly, wanting to go fiddle with Red Special than talk with John. He talked funny. 

“I saw you struggling with your amp, so I fixed it,” John said while practically beaming, his gap toothed smile wide. 

Brian recoiled internally at the though of John fiddling with his gear. The bloke couldn’t know how to deal with electronics, right?

Tentatively, Brian put on a forced smile and said, “D-Did you?”

John nodded, making fists to steeling his excitement. 

“Yeah! A few wires were rusted and the circuit board was a mess, but I patched it all up for you. It sounds even better now,” 

Brian’s smile grew faltered, worrying about the state of his amp. Through grit teeth, he asked, “Where is it?”

Without hesitation John led him to his amp, plugging it in and connecting it to his own bass. He strummed a little melody before messing with the dials, playing again to show off it’s versatility. Also showing off that it in fact was working significantly better than it was yesterday. 

Brian’s jaw dropped, staring at the tiny amp making impossibly stable and loud sounds and then at John, who couldn’t get that ridiculously sweet smile off his face.

“You..fixed it? You fixed it! Brilliant!” Brian said, almost unable to wait to plug in his old lady and hear her sing. 

“Yes! For you!” He continued to strum idly.

Brian’s brain stuttered on the words ‘For you’, his own smile disappearing. 

He hadn’t been a very good band member, always dismissing and ignoring John. Like he had this air of superiority just because he wasn’t ‘weird’. Even though Brian was. He was a geek. An outcast in school. And here he was doing the same thing but as an adult. 

He shook his head clear of those thoughts, a hand going to John’s shoulder.

“Thank you, John. I appreciate you thinking of me,”

John just let out a small giggle before unplugging his bass and running off. 

Weird guy with a sweet heart. The sweetest Brian’s ever seen.

♚

“What are you doing, darling?” Freddie said, eyebrows knitted, having stopped in the middle of belting out a song to himself when he saw John gesticulate weirdly. 

“Do you not like my singing?” he added, not really serious nor joking. 

John stilled his flapping hands and shaking head, eyes growing wide. He begun to shake his head, not happily, but in the negative.

“N-No! I love your singing! A lot, actually,” John said, internally confused as the why Freddie had stopped singing. He wasn’t being distracting, was he?

“Oh. Uh, well, with all that hand flailing I couldn’t be sure,” he laughed awkwardly. “What’s up with that, anyways? The…” Freddie flapped his hands to finish the question, head cocked to the side. He always saw John doing something strange with his body. Squeaking, flapping, mussing up his hair. He could never quite understand what any of that meant. 

It took John a second to get the question, perking up once he did. That was a common question he got and while it could be phrased viciously, Freddie asked politely. Somewhat at least. So he was happy to answer.

“Sometimes I feel something so much that I have to let it out or I’ll get distracted by it. Like my stomach can only hold so much sadness or happiness that it needs to be drained every once in a while,” John explained, hoping Freddie was following.

“Or sometimes I do it to keep focused. If not a lot’s happening, my brain will focus on like the wind instead of my assignment or what have you,”

“But right now, I was doing this,” John flapped, a grin stretching onto his lips, “Because you sing so beautiful, Freddie. Like an angel, I think. Never heard an angel, but I think you’d sound like one. And my stomach started to feel like fireworks were going off and sparklers. Hundreds of ‘em. So I just..” He flapped harder, shaking his head from side to side, his fluffy hair swooshing and swaying as he did so.

Freddie couldn’t help but to smile too, his heart suddenly feeling mushy from the compliment and the younger mans display of enjoyment. 

“An angel?” Freddie asked, his gaze gentle on the youngest who couldn’t stop wiggling.

“Yeah. An angel,” John managed to say despite his wild shaking. 

Freddie hummed, his face going warm. 

He certainly had a new favorite band member.

♚

“Oh, there you are! Roger, can you help me?” John asked, pointing to Freddie’s indecipherable music sheet.

Roger stopped his trek to the back room in search of drum parts and nodded, steering himself over the the table John was hunched over.

“What’s the matter, John?” he asked as he pulled a chair close to the other and sat down, peering onto the music sheet.

John threw his hands up, frowning. “Everything! None of this makes sense. Starting with, this,” he said, pointing to the beginning of the first bar.

“That’s a bass clef, John,” Roger said, his voice suddenly slow and over enunciated.

The hairs on John’s body stood up, his stomach flopping. It was a tone he was all too familiar with. That condescending tone teachers and strangers put on when they wanted to explain something to him, as if he had the cognition of a 3 year old. 

John cringed, but assumed it was a mistake. Allistics seemed to be unable to help those random outbursts of baby talk when it came to him. 

“I k-know. I mean the key signature. What is that supposed to be? A natural and sharp hybrid?” his finger was on the monstrosity of a key.

Roger glanced at the sheet and laughed. “It’s a sharp! That’s how Fred writes it. You’ll get used to it,”

John breathed out heavily and continued with his questions. “And that?” he asked, pointing to the time signature that appeared to be 0/4 or 8/4, both of which were impossible. 

“That’s a time signature,” Roger said again in that stupid voice.

John felt his face go red, his hands going cold and pale. 

He’d suffered years of people treating him like a child because he was different. Thinking he was less capable because he talked funny and did things weirdly. He had to bite his tongue for years, having a left a scar on it. But not anymore. Not in his band. 

“I bloody know what a time signature is, Roger! I do know how to read music, you know. And you know that I do. Or have you forgotten because you think I’m a retard?” John hissed, gray eyes growing stormy.

“I know I’m not normal like you and the others but I’m not stupid! I’m not stupid! I’m not! Stupid!”

He didn’t mean to blow up, he really didn’t. But he didn’t feel bad in the slightest, especially when he crumbled up the paper and threw it into Roger’s stunned face. 

Brian was distant with him. Freddie was mostly confused by him. But Roger was the worst of all. Thinking of him more as a child than an adult. It made him seethe. Ripple with anger.

John stormed out of the room, fingers starting to thread into his hair, yanking and tugging at his brown locks. 

He didn’t even notice the blond trailing after him until his shoulder was touched, the sensation like needles to his skin. He jumped, slapping the hand away. 

He turned on his heels to look at Roger, his face wrought with shame, eyes so big he could see the whites all around.

John didn’t say anything, teeth working on his bottom lip, hands in his hair.

Roger’s mouth open and shut uselessly, words failing him for once. Or perhaps he decided he wanted to think them through before speaking. For once. 

“I-I- uh, John. I’m sorry. I’m really, deeply sorry. I don’t know what came over me to talk to you like that. I...Something came over me,” he said, slowly, only because he was speaking carefully. 

John recoiled, wounded further. “Nothing came over you. You just think I’m a spaz.”

Roger tried to say something but John cut him off.

“You do. You have a subconscious bias about me or whatever. But I’m 19 years old and despite how I come across, I think like a 19 year old. I’m getting a degree in electronics and my GPA is higher than you could say for your own degree. Your unfinished one, might I add.”

Roger reeled backwards, blinking at John’s ruthless onslaught. John just fumed, fists now at his side clenched. He was intelligent and he hated that he had to defend that every single day. 

There was a grand silence between them, Roger’s face shifting every few seconds from anger to shock and then finally, to a wide smile.

“You’re a cheeky bastard, John,” he said, letting out a gigantic laugh, like he did with the others. Not the meek laugh he used to pity John. A gut busting laugh that brought tears to his eyes. 

The rage melted from John’s bones, fighting his lips to stay neutral, but they tugged upwards anyways. 

Roger was hunched over, trying to catch his breath, wiping at his eyes. “Mate, you did me dirty,” he let out a loud whew before straightening up. “I’m real sorry for being an ass. Can we start over?” he asked, extending out a hand.

John hesitated before stretching his hand out, grabbing Roger’s and giving it a firm shake.

“I’m John Richard Deacon. Bassist for Queen. The most intelligent of the lot,” he said with his chest puffed out. 

“I’m Roger Taylor. Drummer. Dumbass extraordinaire,”

The broke out into cackles, Roger wrapping an arm around John’s shoulder.

He was going to fit in perfectly. Only if they gave him the chance, which they all were from that moment on. Roger would see to it.

♚

There was music playing on the record, sunlight pouring into the tiny flat. Brian sat at the dining room table of Freddie’s and Rogers flat, filling out a crossword puzzle, tongue stuck out between his lips in concentration.

Roger sat on their ratty old couch, arms stretched out over the top, legs splayed out in front of him. He looked up at the ceiling, wondering which pub he’d want to visit that night. There were far too many and so little time.

In his lap laid John- or the top half of him at least- fingers working furiously on the knotted tassles that adorned Roger’s crop top. A fashion disaster of a shirt he’d burn in a fire in 5 years time.

Everyone was content and quiet in their own little worlds, dotted with the occasional question from Brian.

“What’s a 4 letter word for a nobleman?”

“Earl,” John said without so much as a thought, continuing his fiddling with the tassles.

Brian nodded to himself before scribbling that down.

Just then, the door burst open, Freddie walking in with his arms filled with shopping bags.

“Boys! Mama brought home some goodies!” he chirped, closing the door before settling the bags down on the ground.

“You have an addiction!” Roger said, imagining how all those bags put a dent into Freddie’s half of the rent.

“You won’t be saying that once you see what I’ve bought you all,” Freddie quipped with a flair, dropping to his knees to dig through the bags.

He pulled out a pair of sunglasses, round with dark pink lenses. Roger’s tune immediately changed, making grabby hands at them.

“Thought so, bitch,” Freddie murmured before handing them over. 

Freddie continued rummaging, pulling out a hunk of metal.

“For my Jimi Hendrix!” he announced, leaning over to give it to Brian.

Brian smiled, holding the mystery object in his hand. “Thank you, Fred. W-What is it...?”

“A telescope thingy! I found it at the market! Isn’t it so lovely and antique? Only costed me 2 pounds,” Freddie said flipping his hair. 

“Jesus that’s cheap,” Brian said as he examined the thing that probably wasn’t a telescope.

“Yeah, ‘cuz it’s broken,” Freddie said seriously and then continued to look through his bags. Brian deadpanned, setting whatever the hell the thing was aside and proceeding to finish his crossword puzzle. Freddie had too much money for his own good. 

“And finally, for my darling Johnny boy! A rubber duckie!” He held up a fist sized rubber duck, painted in rainbow stripes with big blue eyes. John let out a ear piercing shrill, rolling off of Roger’s lap with the grace of a truck driver, landing (thankfully) on the rug, snatching up the duck, immediately beginning to play with it. It made the most delightful whistling noise when he squished it, the glossy top coat an addicting sensation on his finger tips. 

Freddie sat back, watching his friends play with, wear and ignore his gifts, a smile on his face, a sentimental hand on his chest. “Who says I don’t treat my children good?”

“We’re not your kids, Freddie,” Roger said as he wiped the lenses on his glasses clean.

“He does remind me to take my vitamins...” Brian added to the conversation.

“Don’t worry, Fred, you can be my mum,” John said, a little distantly as he was too absorbed by his new toy. 

Freddie threw his hands up with a laugh. “That’s why your my favorite kid, Deacy!”

The room grew silent.

“He can’t be your favorite. He’s my favorite,” Roger said, eyes squinted.

“Well, you’re both wrong since he’s my favorite,” Brian said, slamming his pencil down.

“Both of you bitches need to back down. I literally gave birth to him,” Freddie snapped, holding a finger up.

“Freddie, that’s disgusting,”

“Impossible since that’s what I did,”

“Oh now you’re saying you gave birth to him?”

“Perhaps,”

“You know wh-”

All the while, oblivious to it all, John played with the duck, listening to it whistle and looking at the colors. He was thinking of a name for it. He’d ask his friends but they were busy fighting, as usual. He loved them dearly, something he was so happy he could finally say, but they talked far too much. He liked to drown them out every once in awhile. Like right now. The duck let out another long whistle, making him laugh. 

[thewokewordsmith]

Hi. I just wanted to say I'm in love with all of the Zutara gifset you've made. Where do you get your ideas from and what's your favorite Zutara gif?

This might sound weird but I think being autistic has a lot to do with my gif making ideas. As long as I can remember I’ve had an almost total recall memory for the shows that become my special interest. I didn’t realize that this was something that wasn’t normal until I got older. People would say “How do you remember all of  that?” or “I can’t remember the show like that” Whenever I’d talk in detail about a scene from one of my favorite shows. Sometimes in the middle of me describing a scene someone would say “It’s been awhile since I’ve seen that show” and it had been awhile since I’d see the show too but I’d pretended that I’d just watched because I didn’t want people thinking I was weird. Sorry I’m rambling (I tend to do that) I guess what I’m trying to say is I when I really like something it stays with me like a little video playing out in the back of my mind. All it takes is a song or phrase (anything really) to remind me of a Zutara moment and then I think of an idea for a gifset and I have to go create what I see in my head.

As for my favorite gif I couldn’t pinpoint one as my favorite, but this gif stands out to me because I think it neatly sums up all three ships (Zutara, Kataang, Maiko) in one convenient little gif. Being articulate isn’t my milieu so bear with me. 

In this scene the gaang is the most relaxed we’ve seen them in a long time. The war is over. There’s no deadlines to meet and they’re among friends. Everyone is in their most “natural state.” They’re being who they are without the threat of war or any other outside influences. 

We have Aang sitting on the floor acting very much like a twelve year old boy. He’s playing with Momo and his focus is pretty much on playing around and being a kid (as it should be) because that’s who Aang is a goofy kid, sure he’s shown great maturity, but Aang is still just a kid and it shows here when more than ever he’s allowed to be himself. 

Mai is playing pi sho with Suki and paying zero attention to Zuko, not that she has to pay attention to him every second of the day just because he’s her boyfriend, but Mai has a habit of not paying attention to Zuko and treating him like an accessory until she needs him to fetch something for her. If he were to have directly given her the cup of tea I doubt she’d even notice. She would have expected it because when she wants something it’s Zuko who is supposed to run and fetch it for her. This how relationships work in Mai brain. 

With Zuko and Katara their interactions have always been more give and take which is what we see here. Katara is the first person at that table Zuko brings tea to and Katara gives him a look that you give to your significant other when they’re doing something sweet and thoughtful for you without them even realizing it. 

So we have both Aang and Mai not paying attention to either Zuko or Katara but Zuko and Katara paying attention to one another…

Perhaps I’m over analyzing this scene, but nothing was stopping the writers from making a cute little interaction between Zuko and Mai/Aang and Katara. It’s the little moments that make up the big moments in relationships and I feel like with Kataang and Maiko we only got big filler moments because there weren’t very many little building moments to go off of.

The writers (Bryke) of this show have this habit of writing Zuko and Katara’s interactions in a more positive light than they do Zuko and Mai or Katara and Aang, but yet they act all harassed and put out when people have the audacity to ship Zutara. 

[comicteaparty]

March 4th-March 10th, 2020 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from March 4th, 2020 to March 10th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

What are some comic synopses that convinced you to read the comic?  In general, what are you looking for in a synopsis? 

carcarchu

bastard's "there's a serial killer in my house" was all it needed to sell me on it. short and sweet, just begging you to read more to find out what that means

Capitania do Azar

Broken http://broken.spiderforest.com/ had me at "psychic zombie kid befriending a fairy general"

Ash🦀

are there monsters? Are there wlw? are the women monsters like werewolves and vampires and demons etc etc I tend to see monster as the main character and I’m instantly hooked! I have a hard time empathizing with purely human characters, (as an autistic, I have often been called something not human, I guess that’s why) so when I see a monster, I’m like YEEEES. That being said, “Fox Fire” on Webtoons really drew me in. https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/fox-fires/list?title_no=125525 A mysterious journey through lands unknown by a raccoon dog? Yes. Inspired by Finnish mythology which I’ve not seen before? YES. It’s not short or snappy, but I love animal stories so much, and seeing them based on a culture I’m not overtly familiar with is so exciting! So many things to learn! To research! Yes!!

spacerocketbunny

Sink your Hookteeth had me at "cosmic horror romance with eldricht mermaids" https://hookteethcomic.com/ Usually I give things a chance past the synopsis to see for myself but there definitely is some keywords that get my attention right away. Stuff like psychological, horror, world-building, surreal, lgbtq+, occult themes etc., but I'm pretty open to most things

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I usually don't get invested in a comic because of a strong premise, but I can get interested in a comic with a unique premise. Ironically the one example that comes to my mind is something I have not yet checked out (but it is on my list!). What is that one webcomic called, the one where time only flows in the vicinity of certain special individuals? And the MC is one of such individuals? I honestly have no idea if I will actually like that comic, but the premise sounds so interesting that I would like to at least check it out.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i too find that premise intriguing

please someone link it if they know what it is(edited)

Feather J. Fern

Premises are really important to me, since there are so many comics nowadays it's hard for me to filter through what I would like and not like. So if something like "Boy meets girl" comes up I tend to shy away but if someone says "Monster boy meets girl who is blind." Then I am like "OH THAT! I WOULD READ THAT!" I think it's the details that really get me, I need more details if possible to make sure I can get the most out of it.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

For me it usually boils down to "relatable/intriguing situation with (insert supernatural/fantasy/sci-fi element here)." The relatable/intriguing situation hooks me on a higher brain level - the fantasy/supernatural element hooks me on my lizard brain level

eli [a winged tale]

Art aside, I look for intrigue/hook and a conflict (whether that’s through a character description/contrast in presentation like a dichotomy/ or a surprise/thwarted expectation). I have my genre preferences but usually if there’s an intrigue (that’s so cool and interesting!) and a conflict (sense of pace/tension/driving the story), then I’m in. These are the examples of ones I love:

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I might be the odd one out that I don‘t look for synopisis much - I tend to read the first ten pages of the comic instead and look for two things: 1) character that interests me and 2) did the plot start yet?

Mind you, godslave synopsis got me at „modern-day egyptology“ https://www.godslavecomic.com/about

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I usually don't read the synopsis if I'm already "there," but like... when people are reccing something for me

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Then I still check out the comic proper. If someone likes it enough to rec it it‘s worth a try!

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

My tastes are too specific (yet vague at the same time?), so I fully admit to not checking out every rec that comes my way.

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Makes sense! I read quickly and have absolutely no compuction about dropping stuff that doesn‘t interest me, so sample reading works well. But in webcomic lists I found synopsis to be important, that‘s how I found godslave. So I guess I‘m like @Feather J. Fern and look for an interesting premise.

Feather J. Fern

I also try recommendations, which is why I like the CTP since it does help me narrow down reading choices.

Oh also, when someone adds something too typical like "And then romance blossoms" in a premise then I am like "Eh" Especially with the genre of the comic is NOT Romance. Like I think when I am looking into a genre, I want that genre, don't pull the side genres into the main stay in your premise. For example, and Action Comedy being like "Romance blossoms between the two" I would be like "Why wouldn't this be a Romance Comedy with Action side, or Romance Action" If i want Action comedy I WANT the action and Comedy. the romance cna be on the side just don't mention it in the premise, it makes me go pick another action comedy to read.

I guess it's like Confusing Promotion of your Premise is what gets me?

eli [a winged tale]

Yeah that’s fair Featheryjustice. I’m also the same

And chalcara I definitely am swayed by the art and pages too!

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

In general, I feel a good summary should tell me why I should read it, rather than what the comic is about. (Those two things are closely related and definitely overlap, but not 100% the same.)

Deo101 [Millennium]

I like this idea a lot. I also think a good summary should match the tone of the story, and kind of give you enough to get you interested but without telling you what really happens in it

I'm not reading a list of traits about your story, I'm reading a bit of an intro to it to get all excited

Feather J. Fern

I agree with Keii and Deo. I want to get excited to know more, not "Ugh I can get this but better elsewhere" from a summary.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I think that might be a helpful group exercise to do sometime in story_help maybe -- workshopping a short paragraph/long sentence/list of reasons of "why you should read this comic." It'd be like, an informal rough draft of a pitch maybe?

Anyway, I'm also in camp "art plays a big role." It's not necessarily how pretty the art is, or how much I like the art as art. More like, what kinda vibes is it giving off? Would I like a story with these vibes?

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah, the art and summary kinda gotta feel like they mesh, they don't HAVE to and there are exceptions of course but for that first impression glance I think it matters a good bit

eli [a winged tale]

Yeah I’d be down for some synopsis workshop!

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

yes please!

Q (Wayfinders: Off Course)

Samesies!

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yes!

Feather J. Fern

Agreed!

DanitheCarutor

Eeeeh I'm kind of the oddball in this, I can't write a good synopsis to save my life, so I almost never read them. Not even on recs, promo threads, or masterposts. Usually I go by how the comic looks via the banner/thumbnail/promo art, or if I stumbled on an update showing pages with some interesting content. I would rather have the comic show me what it was about. Maybe if the comic is really young and I can't tell where it will go, but I'm intrigued by what I read so far, I'll then read the synopsis. Even though I'll read just about anything sometimes a genre will catch my eye, usually something really rare for webcomics like: Horror, thrillers, mystery, or anything with the word psychological.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I usually look for keywords that hook my interests specifically when reading a synopsis- words that stick out or create an intriguing combination An example of this os XII: Of Magic and Muses use of 'magical horror light show' was an insta- intrigue! And i def find it most important for people, when making synopsis, to use key words or phrases that make them stand apart. What is it about your mystery story That's so mysterious? Or what makes your romance so special? Twists and unexpected words are also an easy way to pop up in searches too!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I don't usually rely on a synopsis to determine whether I'll read a comic. As others have said, most of the time I just start reading if the art caught my eye and the genre is something I like. That being said, there are times where a synopsis has really sold me on a story, and it almost always includes the "who," "what," and "why." (Sometimes also the "when/where," but it's not always necessary.)

(Also, if we do a synopsis workshop, I want in. I'm horrible at writing them.)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i'm sure there's people who'll be down to help you out anytime in shop talk

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

If something says it has pirates I'll click on it usually

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Yo read Tiger Tiger https://www.tigertigercomic.com/tiger-tiger/

Tiger, Tiger -

(@sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD))

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I've seen this before! I read a little bit of it and there was this one scene that was very close to something I've drawn and it freaked me out a little bit. Tiger Tiger is a really great comic though and I appreciate it a lot. It does also have a lot in common with Joe Is Dead and I appreciate you recommending it!!!

Feather J. Fern

Oh speaking of summaries and premises, what are people's keywords for things that does make them read it instantly or things that a premise does that make you want to stay away? I mentioned genre failing but what gets me to click is if the premise itself has good grammar. Soemtimes you get some wonky grammar in the premise statement and it alerts me that the rest of the comic might not be as well edited as I thought.

Oh an a pet peeve, lack of punctuation and capitalization in the premise.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@Feather J. Fern I definitely also get put off by grammar errors in summaries.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I'm not sure if there's a good way for me to talk about my major turnoffs in summaries without offending those who like to read/ make such stories...

kayotics

I think what gets me to read is when a synopsis is written in a way that’s off beat, or like they’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it. The synopsis has time put into it, it makes me think that maybe the story itself is a bit more unique or polished, and if the synopsis is generic I feel like the comic might be generic.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I am repelled by mentions of religious topics like gods or demons. Stories like those usually rely heavily on Christian themes that are too far outside my cultural grasp for me to relate to or enjoy

Feather J. Fern

Oh what does grab me is stories that are inspired or made in other cultures than my own. That makes me want to learn more about that culture

kayotics

I do really like foreign stories. Sometimes I want the familiarity of a cultural context I relate to, but I do like to explore worlds that I’m unfamiliar with

That’s kind of how I feel about Heart of Keol, I’m not very familiar with South Korea so I feel like I’m learning a lot through the world itself, even if it’s historical fantasy based

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

As for keywords I look for in summaries that might actually get me to read: words like "discovers," "mysterious," "ancient," or phrases like "learning to be human."

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

The culture talk reminds me! I like stories that focus on non-mythological aspects of a culture. Not that I dislike mythological stuff, but the non-mythological stuff, the mundane everyday omnipresent aspects seem so awfully underrepresented.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

That's basically my favorite part of culture!

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I don't code, but if I could, I'd be tempted to quickly make a bot that generates summaries based on the phrases/keywords that have been mentioned in this channel, haha

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Like the way people eat, or what they wear at festive events(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

"Mysterious pirates discover ancient culture. Shenanigans ensue."

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I'd read that tbh

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah or like, even just everyday life things that you don't really think about until you go to a place with a different culture. Suddenly you become aware that you're sitting, standing, walking, looking (as in using your own eyes) different than everyone else

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I would read that because of the pirates

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Even stuff that's considered fairly universal, like smiles or laughs, are different

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@keii’ii (Heart of Keol) Or certain hand gestures that may be offensive or mean something entirely different in other places(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

It's true! (though I feel hand gestures, you're at least aware when you use them)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Or how eye contact is received

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

To be clear I don’t have anything against the culture. Stories exploring aspects of unfamiliar cultures are usually really cool. It’s specifically when a story is founded on religious beliefs that I don’t understand and don’t ascribe to that I have a hard time getting into a story because it’s too much work to suspend disbelief and live in that unfamiliar mindset while reading

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah, that's fair

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Even if it's fantasy religion?

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Especially if its fantasy religion tbh. They’re usually grounded in Christian beliefs by some way or another because of their commonness in culture and expect readers to have a base knowledge of those things

Fantasy religions are rarely made of completely unique material. Its always gods and shrines and prayer

Feather J. Fern

I also like it when the summary is straight forward with not too many crazy descriptions. It's hard to get into a story if they are already throwing all the technical jargon of that fantasy world at you. At least for me.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I agree

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah, succinct summaries are Good

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Ah.... I understand your aversion, but I've kind of come to terms with the fact that religion is often so innately tied to culture.

Feather J. Fern

I think Sssfrs is talking if the entire story is based in religion or just a small part will turn you away as well?

I am sure there are stories where a bit of religion is talked about but not a focus

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

If large parts of the story require base knowledge of Christian religion to fully comprehend mainly

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Ohhh, yeah that's definitely far more understandable

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I just have a hard time following whats going on

I specifically mean stories about hell or demons. I once read a webcomic about nuns in a cloister that I really enjoyed

RebelVampire

You know ironically, I can't really answer this question without out talking about what turns me away. Now on the one hand, there are certain keywords that will get me to look, but these are 100% about what I'm subjectively look for (like anything with royalty for example). So I don't think these synopses qualify as having convinced me so much as they basically included metaphorical hashtags that I was looking for. As for synopses that actually convince me, it's generally a lot more about it not having things I consider a turn-off. Things that turn me off include: -Being too vague and mysterious. I actually want to understand the who and the what I'm jumping into. -Prioritizing the "message" and/or themes of the story in the synopsis too much. In my experience, this usually means the themes will override the plot which doesn't generally make for good writing. -Too much emphasis on "This story is [insert popular mainstream media] meets [insert other popular mainstream media]." It can be powerful if used correctly, but in most cases I just find is alienating because I'm either a) unfamiliar with one or both of those mainstream medias or b) don't like those mainstream media its referencing -Too lengthy. I find lengthy summaries just paint a poor reflection of what the comic is as opposed to painting a better picture (which is usually the intended goal). There are probably more I'm not thinking of, but my overall point is I'm not overly picky about synopses. None really convince me so it's more about not convincing me to leave.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

You know, in some cases "it turns me off because I don't like the mainstream media it's referencing" might actually be a good thing. IMO the job of a synopsis isn't only to attract people; it is to tell inform people whether or not they might enjoy the thing.

So if a synopsis includes "panty shots galore!!!" and it's accurate... that's not a bad thing to include, even if it will keep me away

RebelVampire

I'd agree if not for the fact that a lot of the comics I've read who did this were either a) not really like the mainstream media they were referencing or b) something I still enjoyed despite the comparitive since the comic didn't do the things I disliked the mainstream media for

tho panty shots galore is a lot diff than what im talking about

XD

so i mean like i said

it can be powerful

and a good tactic to target a specific audience

but its a thing you have to be extremely careful with

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah, sometimes what you disliked about that comparison media is not why they're referencing it

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Definitely true!

I think those types of comparisons might help you sell your story to a large company by saying, "Look! I make something with marketable qualities like these mainstream stories!"

But it doesn't accurately depict your work to its fullest

RebelVampire

Yeah which is my issue when theyre done poorly. Theres a lot of synopsis I've seen that kind just use that instead of also trying to paint their own unique picture. So I only have the mainstream media to decide what to expect.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Oooh, yeah, it shouldn't be the only description

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oooof

RebelVampire

I'm probably more turned off when I don't know the media. Cause even if I dislike the media there are usually good aspects I can hope for. Like there have been a few synopses I've read that are like "It's a lot like Buffy the Vampire Slayer". And I just sit here blankly staring cause I've never seen a single ep of it

So there's no hope

Cause I wouldn't know what to hope for XD

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

And then the inverse happens because the readers who have seen Buffy and enjoyed it perhaps liked it for different reasons than why you compare your work to it.

So then they are disappointed when those aspects are not included

RebelVampire

Yeah. So I mean, I've seen it used really well, but it's super a double edge sword in all cases.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

As a reader, I feel the comparison is more interesting when I hear about it (e.g. "[this mainstream thing] was one of the main influences for this story") after I've already started reading it. I've had a few cases where I was like ooooooh, that hadn't occurred to me before, but now that they mention it...!!!!!

RebelVampire

Ah I have had that happen. Cause to be fair I don't always even read the synopsis till later. XD

Tantz Aerine (Without Moonlight)

This is a little hard for me to answer because often I jump into the comic without reading any synopsis... but when I do, I like them short and sweet, like an elevator pitch, almost, or very efficient in giving me the bare bones of setting, plot, stakes. An example of the first one is from Awfully Decent Fellows by Ironscarf (find it here https://www.theduckwebcomics.com/Awfully_Decent_Fellows/) : A group of friends plan a murder mystery themed evening, only to find they have a real mystery to solve: who's murdering Miss Scarlet?

The other that would be representative of what gets my attention is something like Potato & Kraut's blurb (read the comic here https://www.theduckwebcomics.com/Potato_and_Kraut/ ) : Set in early 20th century Ireland, Potato and Kraut centers around two young girls - one Irish, the other German. Brought together by unpleasant circumstances, the odd pair form a close relationship, only to be separated years later by even more unpleasant circumstances - the Great War. This story offers quirky folks, all kinds of love, a bit of silliness, a few tears, a couple of pet pigs and the occasional bloody nose. Welcome to Ireland!

[cassolotl]

Some cobbled-together explanations for NT-style phrases and concepts that confused me for ages but I have now sort of gotten the knack of

I could be wrong, and probably everyone means slightly different things when they say this stuff anyway, but once upon a time these phrases used to confuse me (and then make me angry when no one could clarify what they meant), so here’s me passing on some working definitions and instructions that suit me and seem to do the job.

~

GRIEF

I get that people need to grieve when there is a loss (of a loved one, of a situation, etc.), and I notice that things tend to get really crap in the short and long term when I don’t, but no one ever told me how to actually grieve in a way that made sense for my autistic brain. They just said mysterious things like “everyone grieves in their own way” and “however you want to grieve is okay.” (Thanks, but, can you give me some examples?)

These are some steps that I’ve found work for me:

Put yourself in a safe place/situation, and make sure you can stay there for the foreseeable future. (See below!)

Think about the sad thing on purpose and feel really sad and wallowy and crap about it, for maybe up to an hour or so.

Stop and do something else instead that’s a bit nice and not too intense, like a familiar and comforting TV show, or spending time with safe friends.

Repeat steps 2 and 3 until you feel enough courage to take on day-to-day life activities again.

You have to think about things related to the thing/person you’re grieving, on purpose, and get sad, on purpose. Which sounds terrible, right? But it’s okay, because when you know what you’re doing and you’re doing it on purpose you get to choose the timetable. That means you can avoid the worst feelings and still get the full positive effect of grieving! You don’t have to just start and then keep going until you’re done. You can pace yourself (see below). That’s actually really important, because grieving, despite being not very physically active, is hard work and exhausting and rips your soul out of your body through the eyes and mouth and solar plexus. When you’re grieving out of choice and you’re in control, this is a really good way to avoid the worst effects of being totally overwhelmed and swept away by sadness.

So, you think about the thing that makes you feel really sad for a bit. Then when you feel good and sad and wallowy but before you want to stop existing because everything sucks, you stop and distract yourself with something that fits well with your safety zone (again, see below). Something that’s not too emotional, not to scary, but just distracting and interesting enough to take your mind off the thing a little bit. Media that is a bit trashy is often good? Some people find that spending time with safe people and talking about the sad feelings (or talking about anything but the sad feelings) is good. My go-to comfort TV: The Librarians, The Flash (everyone is so kind to each other all the time!), something short and funny like Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Anything I haven’t seen before is out, because if I’ve not seen it then it’s a bit unpredictable and that’s not comforting enough. Rereading a favourite book is also pretty nice sometimes, if I’m in a reading mood.

Then, once you’ve recovered a bit, back to thinking about the sad thing and feeling sad on purpose.

IT SUCKS. You feel really really really awful. And it’s exhausting! You’ll probably cry a lot and/or be really angry. You might sometimes feel numb too, which surprisingly sucks in a really weird and unique way. So you have to break up the sad times with relieving restful nice times.

Don’t get too caught up in one of the two main steps. If you distract yourself forever it is going to bite you later on. If you skip the distraction step and only feel sad for ages you’ll wear yourself out mentally and emotionally. Both of these scenarios risk your mental health in the long term. You need to alternate them! If you are like me, you’ll need your step 3 (rest step) to be longer than your step 2 (sad and wallowing step), and that’s okay.

~

PACE YOURSELF

What this means is, put gaps between things.

It was always implied that doing things expends energy and it’s good to not wear your batteries down, right? But that didn’t fit with “pacing myself” for me, because things would get bad even if my batteries were not totally empty.

It works better for me to think of damage and recovery. It’s like every tiny thing I do causes some damage, and pacing yourself is stopping between each thing you do to allow the damage to heal so you’re 100% before taking the next step. Each task needs some time-padding between it.

If you do a lot of things without stopping, you get too damaged and will need to stop for much longer to recover. So it’s much better to stop lots of times, and break up tasks into smaller steps so you can pause between each step.

So thinking big: Let’s say moving house does 10 damage on its own, and moving house does 5 damage on its own. But if you do either of those when you’re not 100%, you take extra damage on anything else you do. If you move house and then start work the very next day, instead of it just being (10 + 5 =) 15 damage, because you didn’t add time-padding it’s actually 20 damage, and you’ll need longer to recover. If you make sure that you don’t start work until a week after the move, the first day at the new job will be less damaging.

~

DO THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL SAFE

This is different for everyone, and it even changes over time. Sorry.

If you’re totally at sea with this concept, this is what works for me.

Think of times when things have gotten really, really bad. Think about what you ended up doing when things were so bad that you just totally fell apart and it felt like you were backed into a corner and had no other choice. Think about what you’ve done when you were really, really scared and couldn’t help it.

Then do that on purpose, before things get that bad.

So if the thing you do when things get really bad is go to bed and don’t answer the door or the phone and just watch TV on Netflix on your laptop all day, do that. If it’s seeking out a friend and blurting out all your feelings and wailing while they pat you, do that.

It’s good to do this in advance because it often gives your brain some space to relax and accidentally come up with solutions to problems in advance. Preventing and/or being prepared for potential problems often means things are much easier to deal with than if you have to deal with them after they’ve happened and you’re in deep.

Not all things that you do when you’re scared are healthy. Don’t just drop your coping mechanisms without working on a back-up! If you often retreat to a person or situation or activity that harms you, it is good to work on replacing it by building up a support network of genuinely safe and supportive and nurturing friends/family/environments/activities in your good times, so that they are there during your bad times and you always have at least a couple of options.

[j-exclamationmark-l]

Personal rant

So I found out the hard way about two or three months ago that some phrases trigger some form of PTSD in me from the way I was raised. At least, I think that's what it is. I get filled with this aimless dread, I start seeing memories as clear as day. I start seeing exactly what happened years ago, I can feel myself screaming even though logically I know I'm not actually screaming, it’s just a memory but it's so real, like time doesn't exist and everything is overlapping on itself and I feel like I'm going crazy but I know I'm going crazy, I know none of these things are actually here, and it's like I'm being split in two by the reasonable side of my brain and this pure emotion that's insisting the threat is still right here in front of me.

I started crying at work and asked my coworkers to stop saying it. That was maybe two months ago. It's not even a common phrase - I think people used to say it in the 90s, but until recently, I hadn’t heard anyone say it.

But since I asked, my oldest coworker has kept saying it. I ask her to stop every time and she keeps defending herself. She’s incredibly self-centered, always talks about herself and how awesome she is, brags that she has the most exciting life outside of work (not really? she’s exactly what you’d imagine a white, middle-aged party-girl divorcee to be like), always cuts me off, never remembers things I say, always tries to get me in trouble. She also likes to insinuate that I’m gay by saying frequently that girls with short nails are lesbian (have you ever seen a violinist with long nails?). Her way of asking me to do things is to say “Why am I always the one who has to do this?” I’ve tried being nice to her. I try to listen to her a lot. Once I accidentally said her son was autistic and she began yelling at me that he’s not autistic, he has Asperger’s, so I apologized and asked her what the difference was, since I’d always thought before that Asperger’s was a form of autism. I didn’t fight her on any point she made, I just asked her out of curiosity because I genuinely wanted to know. The next day at work she bragged to the other woman in the office about how she totally schooled me, even though I’d asked.

Friday, everyone in the office was talking about cheesecake, and how Japan’s just doesn’t compare to cheesecake in other countries.

“When my best friend first came to Japan about eight years ago, cheesecake wasn’t really a thing that had caught on,” I said. “So he went to a restaurant and saw ‘hot cheesecake’ on the menu and decided to try it.”

“Gross, cheesecake isn’t supposed to be hot,” this woman cut in. “In Australia--”

“That’s not the story,” I frowned. I’ve been getting more aggressive about her cutting me off. She fought me to begin with, but slowly, other coworkers have started pointing out when she cuts them off, too. “He ordered it, then what was served wasn’t cheesecake at all, but a pancake--”

“That’s not cheesecake,” she interjected. “We were talking about cheesecake--”

“...A pancake. With a slice of processed cheese, like American cheese, on the top.”

“Some cheese could taste really good on sweets, like cream cheese, or--”

“It wasn’t cream cheese, it was a slice of processed cheese, like you buy at the supermarket, the plastic-y ‘torokeru cheese.’“

She began listing off other cheeses that could taste good on a pancake, and I tried to reiterate that that’s not what my friend was served.

Realizing she had nothing else to say to derail the story I thought was kind of funny, she looked me in the eye and said the phrase that she knew triggered me.

At first, I was just really confused. I wasn’t even upset, it was just so weird - not even that she’d say it, but that she’d tried so hard to derail my story. The room went silent, as I’m sure everyone remembers the time I started crying. I made a mental note to tell my friend how hard she’d fought his story. I wondered how weird he’d think that was. I wondered if there were any other details about it he’d share that I’d forgotten; it had been a long time since he’d told me, after all.

I could kind of feel it gnawing at the back of my mind. I knew what she’d said, but I was busy, and if I put on my headphones and went back to work, the flood waters barely sloshed over the top of the dam. If I didn’t process what was behind that wall, if I ignored it...

The minute I was out of work, the minute I was alone, the dam broke and I realized what she’d said, and saw my father looming every time I closed my eyes. I could almost swear he was hiding behind the crowds of people on the train, ready to scream at me. But I knew that was ridiculous, he hates me so much he’d never dare follow me to Japan.

But part of me was certain he was there.

The commute home takes an hour, and for that hour I felt torn, telling myself he wasn’t there and yet somehow convinced he was, and that I was 14 and he was threatening to leave me somewhere and my mother was telling me I was crazy and he was changing the pictures in the frames to not include me or how he dumped all my food down the sink or...

It sounds so stupid now that I write it out. Like a paper tiger. It looks scary, but there’s nothing actually to it.

I got home and drank. I drank more than I thought I could at once, I drank until I passed out.

In the morning, I woke up for long enough to send my coworker a message saying I noticed that she said that phrase and asking her to stop. I passed out again.

I was woken up by her reply. It was long and wordy and filled with phrases like “it’s been ubiquitously ingrained into our lexicon” and how I can’t expect everyone to change their speech patterns just for me. I was so angry that I woke up fully to tell her she’s literally the only person I know who uses that phrase. She then claimed, after her lengthy rebuttal, to have forgotten what the phrase is that upsets me. She also insinuated that nothing I’ve experienced could possibly be anything worse than the shit she’s seen and told me she has more compassion and empathy than anyone else alive, I’m just being an unreasonable little shithead.

So I tried to describe for her what it’s like, being reminded of my dad like that. I know I can’t stop from being reminded of him all the time, but somehow knowing I asked her to stop and seeing her continue to do it makes it worse. I’m not about to tell her that even the word “family” is dangerous territory for me because even I know that’s unreasonable to tell everyone to stop saying that word. But there are things I can do - thinking of my friends as my “family,” thinking of Kiryu’s music as “home.” But that phrase, the one that upsets me, has no actual meaning, and no one even really says it anymore, except for her.

And in the office, I told her, I do what I can. I try to listen to music to block out their conversations most of the time. Yeah, it’s antisocial, but I don’t want another episode and I don’t want to have to force them to change their habits.

But the way she interrupted my story to look me in the eye and say it during one of the few moments I didn’t try to block it out...

She didn’t reply to my message.

I stayed inside for fear of running into her on Sunday (she lives uncomfortably close to me) and I felt sick to my stomach at the idea of seeing her on Monday, but luckily she ignored me yesterday, and today, too.

I wish I could explain it to them, I wish there was a way to let them see instead of seeing it myself all the time. I know they don’t have the attention span to listen, though, and I don’t actually want them knowing that much about me. I just wish they’d understand, I’m not trying to be unreasonable.

I’m in pain and they’d poke me with sticks telling me to “get over it.”

I remember how her friend yelled at me after the first time I broke. She apologized later, but I still don’t trust them. I don’t trust any of them. They lack the imagination to empathize with anything they haven’t experienced firsthand, I think.

I remember friends in high school making jokes about how awful my dad was. I didn’t get it, not really. I mean, I wasn’t happy, but it was normal to me. I didn’t get it until I reached college. And how unfair it was that these people had families that loved and cared for them.

I’ve been having the same nightmare I used to have all the time.

It feels like it will never end.

[televinita]

Books Read in 2018: The Why

Third year in a row* of answering the self-imposed question: why did you read this particular book?

(*Although 2017′s is presently flagged by the garbage bot and under appeal -- WHY DO U HATE MY BOOK COVER COLLAGES, MR. ALGORITHM)

I am beginning to deeply regret the extra work involved to split them by category, so next year is probably just gonna be a numbered chronological list after the Quilt of Many Covers, but for now they are still divided into adult fiction, YA, middle grade/children’s books, and nonfiction

FICTION

True Valor - Dee Henderson. 2002. Read because: I went hunting for a military romance in which to cast Dalton and Jaz [The Brave]. This one at least guaranteed me Dalton (and included rescuing a female soldier lost/hurt in combat, so).

These Healing Hills - Ann H. Gabhart. 2017. Had this one in my back pocket for a while as a quality-sounding stock romance (nurse/soldier) waiting for players. When my need for a Barbie/Julia [Under the Dome] story reached a new high, I deemed it a match.

Shane - Jack Schaefer. 1949. This is the book Fourmile is based on, so I thought I could get a two-for-one casting thrill out of it.

The Lake House - Kate Morton. 2015. A gorgeous historic mansion hidden within an abandoned estate. A mystery from the past to be solved in the present. What are "things I am here for always."

Crimson Peak (movie novelization) - Nancy Holder. 2015. I LOVED the movie, and the only thing I love more than amazing movies is when I can have them translated into and enriched by prose.

Chasing Sunsets - Karen Kingsbury. 2015. Brush of Wings - Karen Kingsbury. 2016. I was hunting, desperately, for Ben/Ryan-shaped books [Off the Map], and "Brush of Wings" checked all the boxes (young woman who needs a heart transplant volunteers in a third world country, love interest has to find a way to rush her home when the situation turns dire). I only read C.S. first because I didn't want to miss where the romance started.

Rancher Under Fire - Vickie Donoghue. 2014. I was looking for a different book when I casually stumbled upon this title, and listen. I am not gonna turn down a ready-made Barbie/Julia AU* with bonus "single father" angle. (*cowboy/journalist)

Heart Like Mine - Maggie McGinnis. 2016. "Ben/Ryan, Sexy Hookup AU Version please."

The Mountain Between Us - Charles Martin. 2010. The request list for the movie was too long, so I decided to see if it was based on a book. Upon reading the back cover and finding out one character was a surgeon, I immediately forgot the movie cast as my brain exploded with Shondaland options.

When Crickets Cry - Charles Martin. 2006. "Doctor whose wife died young of a lifelong heart condition" sounded like the best book-shaped Ben/Ryan approximation yet, with bonus "watching out for a little girl who is sick in the same way" cuteness as well.

The Woman in Cabin 10 - Ruth Ware. 2016. A woman at work recommended it to me, and I was like, "a well received general thriller? Sure!"

Listen to Me - Hannah Pittard. 2016. Put "road trip" into the library catalog --> picked 70% because "Gothic thriller" made me think of "The Strangers," and 30% because I was reliving the glory days of Derek And Addison and this marriage sounded similar.

The Lying Game - Ruth Ware. 2017. I enjoyed the other book of hers I read so my friend brought in the next one she had.

Hatter Fox - Marilyn Harris. 1973. Read in high school and forgotten until I reread the Goodreads summary, and "doctor drawn to help 17-year-old" set off my radar. Shippy or merely protective/caretaking, my radar reacts the same.

Vanished - Mary McGary Morris. 1988. The trailer for unreleased Martin Henderson film "Hellbent" whipped me into a frenzy so I did my best to find book-shaped approximations of it. (spoiler alert: this failed miserably, but I grudge-matched it out)

Thunder and Rain - Charles Martin. 2012. Former Texas Ranger who is a single dad. Rescuing & protecting a scared/abused woman and child. At his ranch with cows and horses. By an author who has proven his salt in the hurt/comfort and restrained-romance departments.

Before the Fall - Nick Hawley. 2016. Mostly I came for the dynamic between the young orphan and the passenger who saved him, but I also like witnessing the general aftermath of plane crash survivors.

The Perfect Nanny - Leila Slimani. 2018. My work friend loaned it to me with the statement, "This has such good reviews but I don't know if I 'got' it -- I am really curious to know what you think of it!"

The Girl Before - J.P. Delaney. 2017. She loaned me this one too, with a more glowing recommendation.

Everything You Want Me To Be - Mindy Mejia. 2017. Aaaand one last rec from my seasonal work friend before our projects took us in separate directions.

The Dog Year - Ann Wertz Garvin. 2014. Dog on the cover + synopsis was basically a list of tropes I love: a woman (a doctor to boot!) grieving loss of husband and unborn baby; dogs; a new love interest who is one of my favorite professions to pair with doctor (cop)...

Losing Gemma - Katy Gardner. 2002. "So basically this is the victim backstory to a Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders plot? Dude, sign me UP; I can so see this friendship!"

Uncharted - Tracey Garvis-Graves. 2013. The companion novella to a book I loved.

The English Boys - Julia Thomas. 2016. Mom checked it out of the library, "guy in piney unrequited love with his best friend's fiancee" intrigued me enough to open it, and by 3-5 pages in I was hooked.

The Broken Girls - Simone St. James. 2018. Abandoned boarding-school ruins, a murder mystery from the past being solved in the present day, possibly tied to a second murder from the past?? Yeah, give it.

Heart-Shaped Hack - Tracey Garvis-Graves. 2015. White-Hot Hack - Tracey Garvis-Graves. 2016. Proven quality romance writer's latest books feature a professional super-skilled hacker? Sounds right up my Scorpion-obsessed alley. First book was plenty good enough to launch me into Part II.

Shine Shine Shine - Lydia Netzer. 2012. In my continuing quest to find books in which to cast Walter/Paige, I searched the phrase "her genius husband" and this one's summary matched my desires well.

Learning to Stay - Erin Celello. 2013. Ever eager to expand my hurt/comfort scenario stockpile, I went looking for something where a husband suffers a TBI/brain damage that mostly affects their personality. The bonus dog content sold it.

The Fate of Mercy Alban - Wendy Webb. 2013. Came up on my Goodreads timeline. I read as far as "spine-tingling mystery about family secrets set in a big, old haunted house on Lake Superior" and immediately requested it from the library.

Rated PG - Virginia Euwer Wolff. 1981. I was rereading her Make Lemonade trilogy when I saw a quote in her author bio that said, "I did write an adult novel. Thank goodness it went out of print." Curious, I looked it up, and between its age and the fact that it sounded more like YA than a proper adult novel, I was immediately more intrigued by it than her boring-sounding middle grade books.

Someone Else's Love Story - Joshilyn Jackson. 2013. "Young single mom with genius son meeting a possibly-autistic scientist who protects them during a gas station holdup/hostage situation and later bonds with her son" was the exact literary approximation of a Scorpion AU I wanted in my brain. By the time I realized that was not the endgame ship, I had already flipped through it and fallen in love w/ William and his romantic memories of his wife instead.

Driftwood Tides - Gina Holmes. 2014. Cool title + I love the "young adult adoptee bonds with the spouse of their late birth mother" trope.

The Haunting - Alan Titchmarsh. 2011. Title caught my eye at the library near Halloween; I dug the "dual timelines" setup with a mystery from the past to be solved in the present, and hoped for ghosts.

The Lost Hours - Karen White. 2009. I searched "scrapbook" in the library catalog.  A family member's formerly buried old scrapbook, an old house, and unearthing family history/secrets? GIVE IT TO ME.gif.

The Etruscan Smile - Velda Johnston. 1977. Slim (quick read), attractive cover painting, an exotic Italian countryside setting in a bygone era, and a young woman investigating the mystery of her sister's disappearance all appealed to me.

Stay Away, Joe - Dan Cushman. 1953. All I could tell from the book jacket was that it was somehow Western/ranch-themed, possibly full of wacky hijinx and had once been deemed appropriate for a high school library. I just wanted to know what the heck it was about!

-------------------

YOUNG ADULT

(I’m kind of guessing at the line of demarcation between teen and middle grade audiences for some of these, especially the older ones -- another reason that I should give up on categories in the future -- but let’s just go with it)

These Shallow Graves - Jennifer Donnelly. 2015. Seemed like a YA version of What the Dead Leave Behind (which itself I was using as a Crimson Peak AU), from an author whose work has always impressed me.

Snow Bound - Harry Fox Mazer. 1973. Always here for survival stories! Also, this is a good author.

The House - Christina Lauren. 2015. I LOVE evil/haunted mansion stories.

The Masked Truth - Kelley Armstrong. 2015. It looked like Criminal Minds in a YA novel.

Things I'm Seeing Without You - Peter Bognanni. 2017. Went googling for stories that sounded like contemporary variations on Miles & Charlie Matheson [Revolution]. "Teen shows up at estranged father's door" fit the bill.

Even When You Lie to Me - Jessica Alcott. 2015. I always turn out for student/teacher stories, given enough suggestion of it being mostly an emotional connection rather than an illicit hookup.

Too Shattered for Mending - Peter Brown Hoffmeister. 2017. I also dig stories where teenagers have to take care of/fend for themselves in the absence of a parent/guardian.

The Devil You Know - Trish Doller. 2015. I enjoyed a previous book of hers, and I always like road trips and teen thrillers.

The Raft - S.A. Bodeen. Terror at Bottle Creek underwhelmed, so I thought I'd try a YA/female protagonist option for a survival thriller, not least because the girl on the cover reminded me of Under the Dome's Melanie.

Ghost at Kimball Hill - Marie Blizard. 1956. Picked up randomly at an estate sale; the vintage cover and incredibly charming first 2 pages won my heart.

A New Penny - Biana Bradbury. 1971. The rare idea of a teen shotgun marriage in this era -- when it would still be expected, but also more likely to fall apart and end in a young divorce or separation -- fascinated me; I was curious to see how such an adult situation would play out.

Marie Antoinette, Serial Killer - Katie Alender. 2013. I mean...it is really all right there in the title and/or the awesful puns all over the cover. ("Let them eat cake...AND DIE!") Pure unadulterated crack, combining my two fave specialty genres of history and horror? Yes ma'am.

Me And My Mona Lisa Smile - Sheila Hayes. 1981. I was looking up this author of a Little Golden Book to see what else she had, found one that suggested a student/teacher romance, and bolted for it.

To Take a Dare - Crescent Dragonwagon/Paul Zindel. 1982. 50% due to the first author's cracktastic name and my full expectations of it being melodramatic, 50% because I was still on my "Hellbent" high and looking for similar teen runaway stories.

To All My Fans, With Love, From Sylvie - Ellen Conford. 1982. The last one from my attempt-at-a-Hellbent-esque-storyline set -- girl hitchhiking cross-country is picked up by a middle aged man who may or may not have pure intentions, by an established quality author.

Be Good Be Real Be Crazy - Chelsey Philpot. Bright cover called out to me; I was in the mood for a fun road trip novel for spring/early summer.

This is the Story of You - Beth Kephart. Kephart's name always gives me pause due to her fuzzy writing style, but I loved Nothing But Ghosts, so I could not resist the promise of surviving a super-storm disaster.

A Little in Love - Susan Fletcher. "Eponine's story from Les Mis" on a YA novel = immediately awesome; I LOVE HER??? Also it's just my fave musical, generally.

Adrift - Paul Griffin. 2015. I've been really digging survival stories this year, and while stories about survival at sea aren't typically my fave, they keep popping up in my path so I keep poppin' em like candy.

Life in Outer Space - Melissa Keil. 2013. After delighting my brain with concept sketches for a high school AU, I set out to find the equivalent of Scorpion's team dynamics/main relationship in a YA novel, and by god I found it.

Everything Must Go - Fanny Fran Davis. 2017. The brightly colored cover drew me in, and the format of being like a scrapbook of personal documents/paper ephemera lit up the scrap-collecting center of my brain.

Going Geek - Charlotte Huang. 2016.

originally I thought it might be like Life in Outer Space, but once I realized the title geeks were all girls I shrugged and went, "Eh, still a solid contemporary YA novel at a cool setting (boarding school)."

Like Mandarin - Kirsten Hubbard. 2011.

By the author of my beloved Wanderlove, I was drawn in by the title, intriguing cover photo, rural Wyoming setting and the concept of a high school freshman girl latching onto/idolizing a cool senior girl.

Sixteen: Short Stories By Outstanding Writers for Young Adults. ed. Donald R. Gallo. 1984. Tripped over it at the library, and immediately wanted to consume a set of 80s teen book content from a pack of authors I know and love.

A & L Do Summer - Jan Blazanin. 2011. In the summer, sometimes you just want to vicariously relive the feeling of being a largely-responsibility-free teen in a small-town location.

The Assassin Game - Kirsty McKay. 2015. Looked like the (Welsh!) boarding school version of Harper's Island. (spoiler alert: it is rather less stabby than that, but still fun)

We Are Still Tornadoes - Michael Kun/Susan Mullen. 2016. "College freshmen? Writing letters to each other? Sure, looks solid."

Nothing - Annie Barrows. 2017. It looked relatable: like the kind of book that would happen if I tried to turn my high school journals into a book. (spoiler alert: dumber)

The Memory Book - Laura Avery. 2016. Contemporary YA about a girl with a(n unusual) disease, but mostly, the title and promise of it being a collection of entries in different formats.

Kindess for Weakness - Shawn Goodman. 2013. LITERALLY AU RYAN ATWOOD.

Make Lemonade - Virginia Euwer Wolff. 1993. True Believer - Virginia Euwer Wolff. 2001. This Full House - Virginia Euwer Wolff. 2008. I reread the first two so I could give them proper reviews on Goodreads, and then realized I hadn't read the last one at all.

Blue Voyage - Diana Renn. 2015. A hefty teen mystery in a unique exotic location (Turkey) -- with an antiquities smuggling ring! - called out to me.

Girl Online - Zoe Sugg. 2014. I was really in the mood to read something on the younger end of YA, something cute and fun, when I saw this at the library.

Wilderness Peril - Thomas J. Dygard. 1985. Reread of a book I rated 4 stars in high school but couldn't remember, which happened to be lying next to me on a morning where I didn't wanna get out of bed yet.

Survive the Night - Danielle Vega. 2015. The cover had a GLITTERY SKULL. Give me that delightfully packaged horror story for the Halloween season!

The Hired Girl - Laura Amy Schlitz. 2015. I've been digging into my journals and old family photo albums lately, really fascinated by personal historical documents (also recently obsessed over The Scrapbook of Frankie Pratt), and when I saw a diary format book set in 1911 -- a housemaid's diary, no less; that must be interesting as far as recording grand house details -- it spoke to me.

Fans of the Impossible Life - Kate Scelsa. 2015. The colored-pencil-sketch cover gave me Rainbow Rowell vibes.

All The Truth That's In Me - Julie Berry. 2013. Someone who favorably reviewed The Hired Girl also recommended this one; the cover caught my eye, and it sounded like a thriller.

Girl In A Bad Place - Kaitlin Ward. 2017. I heart YA thrillers featuring girls.

Facing It - Julian F. Thompson. 1983. I was in desperate need of a book one night and my only option was to buy one off the library sale cart, so I snagged the one that looked like some entertaining 80s melodrama with a fun (summer camp) setting. (Spoiler alert: fun and entertaining it was not.)

A Good Idea - Cristina Moracho. 2017. "Rural literary noir," promised the cover blurb, and as I just mentioned: I heart YA thrillers.

Something Happened - Greg Logsted. 2008. Short/easy read + I was hoping for either a misinterpreted Genuinely Caring Teacher, or scenarios to use in an appropriate age difference context.

In Real Life - Jessica Love. 2016. My shipper radar pretty much looked at the summary and went "THE AU CHRISTIAN/GABBY SETUP OF MY DREAMS."

The Black Spaniel Mystery - Betty Cavanna. 1945.

Adorable cover (and dogs!) from an established quality author.

--------------

CHILDREN’S / MIDDLE GRADE

The Cloud Chamber - Joyce Maynard. 2005. The cover made me think of Under the Dome, and the MC immediately reminded me of Joe McAlister.

Terror at Bottle Creek - Watt Key. 2016. After rereading Fourmile, I got a hankering for more books I might be able to cast with the kids from Under the Dome, and figured more Watt Key + a thrilling survival adventure was the ticket for that.

Swampfire - Patricia Cecil Haas. 1973. One of approximately 100 unread vintage horse books I own at any given time; finally in mood because it was short and sweet.

Baby-sitting Is A Dangerous Job - Willo Davis Roberts. 1985. Reread a childhood favorite in order to give it a proper review on Goodreads.

In The Stone Circle - Elizabeth Cody Kimmel. 1998. Same as above.

Wild Spirits - Rosa Jordan. 2010. Clearly the "Kat & Tommy take Justin under their wing" Power Rangers AU of which I have always dreamed, in my very favorite version of it: the one where Kat surrounds herself with animals.

Claudia - Barbara Wallace. 1969. Picked up cheap at a book sale, standard cute vintage Scholastic about a girl and her school life. Comfort food.

Reasons to be Happy - Katrina Kittle. 2011. The cover and the 5 reasons excerpted in the summary were so cute that I wanted to know what more of the reasons were.

Dark Horse Barnaby - Marjorie Reynolds. 1967. Needed a quick read and I'll p. much read any vintage horse book.

Runaway - Dandi Daley Mackall. 2008. Start of a companion series to my beloved Winnie the Horse Gentler, featuring some favorite themes: foster care + animal rescue.

Wolf Wilder - Katherine Rundell. 2015. Pretty cover, girl protagonist, historical Russian setting, wolves. All good things!

Backwater - Joan Bauer. 1999. Sounded like a beautifully tranquil setting.

The Dingle Ridge Fox and Other Stories - Sam Savitt. 1978. Animal stories + author love = automatic win.

If Wishes Were Horses - Jean Slaughter Doty. 1984. Overdue reread of a childhood favorite because I needed some short books to finish the reading challenge.

-------------

NONFICTION

Junk: Digging Through America's Love Affair with Stuff - Alison Stewart. 2016. I mean, I am definitely an American who has a love affair with stuff.

Keeping Watch: 30 Sheep, 24 Rabbits, 2 Llamas, 1 Alpaca, and a Shepherdess with a Day Job - Kathryn Sletto. 2010.

As soon as I saw my favorite fluffy creature on the cover, I felt an immediate need to transport myself into this (dream) hobby farm setting.

(Side note: this is probably the lowest amount of nonfiction I have read in 1 year for a decade, but I was just so busy hunting down specific types of stories that I could not get distracted by random learning.)