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illusioncanthurtme--art · 5 months ago

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A very self indulgent Billford playlist!

Self indulgent, because this music does not appeal to the masses at all; these songs are limited to the stuff I listen to. So I’m being VERY transparent about my embarrassing taste in music right now! Plus, NOBODY ASKED FOR THIS!!! But I hope some of these resonate with you. This is a little collection I’ve formed in my phone notes since I got into this ship a couple weeks ago.

Not a fancy spotify playlist, it’s just links to the music on youtube.

I’ve got this divided into parts:

-The Billford Songs

-The In This Moment Billford Songs

SO MUCH of their music is enemies/lovers perfection. I’ve thought about so many *killing you but also making out with you* pairings to this shit, because these songs were like, DESIGNED to be recycled for any and all love hate relationships, and still hit insanely hard EVERY TIME. So now that you have these songs under your belt, you have them FOREVER. You’re welcome. I haven’t even listened to all their music, I’m sure there’s more songs for this category that I simply haven’t discovered.

-The…Maybe…Billford Songs

My standards were kinda high for making this list. But every song is about your ship when you’re insane, right??? So these are the maybe’s. One’s I’ve thought about billford to, but maybe the lyrics don’t totally align.

Playlist under the cut! I wasn’t gonna ramble about each song but WHOOPS I DID 🤷‍♀️

The Billford songs:

Monophobia - Deadmau5 (Extended version, cuz it’s the best.)

THE LYRICS… THE LYRICS!!!! Definitely bill pining in theraprism.

Propane Nightmares - Pendulum

This one WAS gonna go in the maybe’s, but I convinced myself otherwise after listening to it eighty more times, and now it’s up here on top. And fuck it, this is the *self indulgent* billford playlist, so I do what I want. I go into a fucking trance when I listen to this song, so I can’t really explain 110% why this is a billford song to me, but I’ll try. Apparently, this song is about the heavens gate cult. So not enemies/lovers angst. But looking at the lyrics, you could interpret it as giving yourself to something greater, and coming to the realization that what you pledged yourself to is actually a very bad thing which will ultimately destroy you. (also, you can’t deny that there was some cult like manipulation happening with Bill and Ford. Sense of purpose and friendship.) Definitely billford-y when you consider Fords commitment to bill. And I’ll admit, when I listen to it, there is some pov switching. Because the “trail of fire”, “we will be as one”, and “bring it on home” is VERY reminiscent of bill executing weirdmageddon. So overall, my interpretation of this song is Ford feeling torn about bill, feeling regret, feeling scared, and Bill of course, just wanting to bring the dimensions together. “BRING IT ON HOME!!!!” Or I just like the song.

Rule 34 - Fish in a Birdcage

Bestie recommended this song to me. It needs no explanation.

Painkiller - The Queenstons

…NEEDS NO EXPLANATION DSKFDSKJHF It’s similar to the above, just more… scary imo. Violent. Definitely bill being a little psycho. I really love this song. It’s very recyclable too. You have it for any toxic ship now.

9V - The Queenstons

One of my favorite Lapfox/Halley Labs songs… I’m gonna give you the lyrics, it’s a bit hard to understand without them. In my eyes, it’s about betraying Ford. Also these vocals (and other music by this artist) works so well for bill because of the synthesized voice.

LoveBOMB - S3RL

This is a new S3RL song. This song sounds like a tantrum, and I really liked it when I first heard it, but it didn't fit anything I was into at the time. Luckily, bill suffered a horrible breakup, and now this song has it’s meaning.

When I'm There - S3RL

Bill thinking about joining the third dimension with Ford.

Click Bait - S3RL

I’ve listened to this one a LOT before this, and I surprised myself with how much it aligns with bill, specifically, him tricking Ford.

Space-Time - S3RL

Speaks for itself.

Sodom & Gomorrah - Dorian Electra

This one’s just funny :)

The In This Moment Billford Songs

Sick Like Me

Sexual Hallucination

This is one of those recyclable songs, but I was damn surprised at how well the lyrics suited them, because it alludes to being out of body, possession, etc.

Blood

Half God half devil

Roots

Whore

Damn it, I cant deny this one suits them.

Big Bad Wolf

DAMN IT I wasn’t gonna include this one, but I just checked the lyrics and fuck, it works. In this moment, how are you so wonderful

The…Maybe…Billford Songs

Illuminaughty - Infected Mushroom

I'm kind of grasping at straws with these lyrics, but with a title like that? Come on

The Pretender - Foo Fighters, Infected Mushroom, Turbo Remix

Three versions, for whichever suits your fancy.

Leopold - Infected Mushroom

This one has NO LYRICS, but it has this buildup that sounds really cool, and it has an abrupt decrescendo. Reminds me of their "friendship" and how it all came crashing down.

Idolize - Dorian Electra

Hmmmmm, I just like Dorian. But the idolization thing works for obvious reasons.

That’s it! Hope you enjoy. Maybe I'll do an expansion pack of sorts if I find enough songs for a part 2.

#billford #billford playlist #gravity falls #bill x ford #ford x bill #stanford pines #bill cipher #playlist #gravity falls playlist #billford fanart #gravity falls fanart

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clockwayswrites · 7 months ago

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The bitties must cuddle. ""Birdtritch"" Part 5

masterpost

“Nightwing!” Tim shouted, leaning forward on his perch.

Nothing.

Then a black and blue stripped hand poked out of the green feathers in a thumbs up. “I’m okay!”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Nightwing,” Hood grumbled as he stalked forward. “Hey bird brain! Let go of my brother.”

“Aww, he called me brother,” Nightwing cooed over the line.

“…maybe you can keep him after all,” Hood said to the bird thing that had leaned down to peer at him.

The green glint of the bird thing’s eyes reflected off of Hood’s helmet. Then it blinked and in that moment dozens of abstracted cyan eyes blinked into existence around Hood.

Hood reached out to poke at one with the muzzle of his gun. It went right through the ‘eye’. “What the fuck…?”

The bird thing trilled back at Hood.

Tim tapped his comm to open the all channels line. “Um, so, we have… an eldritch bird creature that has been exposed to cuddle pollen. It’s is already cuddling Nightwing and… yep, yeah, now it has Red Hood. Don’t shoot it, Hood! It’s friendly!”

“It’s a fucking menace!”

“A bird?” Robin’s voice piped up.

“Don’t get too excited, baby bat, eldritch bird. It’s the size of an SUV and has too many arms. And eyes. Sorta eyes? And yep, there goes Hood, absorbed by the fluff. Oh great, it’s looking at me now.”

“Avoid the entity, Red Robin,” Batman said across the comms, tone clipped and worried.

“Sorta hard to do, big B. It has a lot of legs right now and all eyes on me. There so many eyes.”

“Avoid the entity!” Batman barked again.

Yeah, like that was going to go well.

“Father! Make this creature unhand me at once!” Robin shouted.

“Calm the fuck down, it’s not hurting us,” Red Hood grumbled. “Not that it’s letting us go…”

“Actually pretty comfortable,” Red Robin said in a voice tinged with the edges of sleep. Bruce couldn’t even see a part of Red Robin in the mess of feathers.

Bruce just sighed and pinched his nose. “Boys.”

“Did you just ‘boys’ us?” Nightwing asked, though he sounded like he was enjoying the whole circumstance.

“Yes. Black Bat isn’t involved in this at all,” Bruce said. “So, boys.”

Black Bat’s soft laugh over the line was mostly drowned out by the warble that the bird entity made. Bruce absently started comparing the creature to the types of birds that roosted in Gotham as the surprisingly long neck unfolded and reached out towards him.

He regarded the bird entity steadily.

It warbled again, tilted its head, and then started preening the ears of the cowl.

Bruce sighed heavily.

“Likes you.” Cass’ lyrical words came over the line. Bruce knew that tone. She was taking pictures for blackmail.

(And everyone said girls were easier.)

“I really don’t think it’s going to let us go, B. It might not even be able to with the cuddle pollen,” Nightwing said. Bruce could see the blue tips of the boots now but nothing else.

Bruce hummed. “Gotham doesn’t have the facilities to humanely keep such a creature.”

Robin hit the ground in a crouch and started forward. “Father—”

The bird entity reached out again for Robin with one of its too many limbs. Robin parried with his sheathed blade. The coo that the entity made in response was heart wrenching. Almost instantly Robin deflated at the sound.

He crossed his arms and looked away with a huff. “Fine.”

With a much happier sound, Robin was grabbed carefully around the waist and placed on the bird entity’s back, right behind its next.

“Get off,” Red Robin grumbled from wherever he was in the mass of plumage. Some shifting along the back feathers followed the sleepy words. Then a yawn. “The Cave is the only choice.”

“You can’t be serious,” Red Hood said.

(Bruce thought Red Hood might be clasped firmly under a wing.)

Red Robin yawned again. “Large, secure, safe for us…”

“Yeah, and how the fuck do we get this thing to the Cave?” Red Hood snapped back.

After a considering silence, Black Bat pipped up with that same mischievous lilt. “Idea.”

#dp x dc #birdritch #cass is a gremlin child and I love her

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mywritersmind · 3 months ago

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TWENTY FINE - LN4

summary : Throwing your best friend a birthday party is easy. Trying to figure out if he’s joking about kissing you is the hard part. Two best friends and a moonlit roof.

listen up : kissing! swearing! happy birthday lando norris!! 25!

word count : 1976

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Lights flashing, music blasting, people jumping. It's everything that surrounds me while I grab my third drink of the night from the bar. A body slides up next to me and I know who it is immediately.

He smells like alcohol and the cologne I bought for him last year. “Birthday boy.” I smile softly as he grins at me. “You look happy.”

“How could I not be? My best friend organized the best party ever just for me. I’m feeling special.” He’s radiating good energy. He looks sickeningly good. In black slacks and a shirt to match, it’s unbuttoned low enough so I can see his 4 necklace hitting his chest.

“Well, you’re twenty fine!” I laugh at my own joke as Lando cringes, “I’m glad you’re happy though.” The bartender hands me my drink which I bring to my lips instantly. He's being extra nice to me because I organized the party and made sure it’s only people we know and like.

He rests his hand on my arm as a girl calls his name, he glances back then meets my eyes again, “I seriously don’t deserve you.” Lando brings his lips to my cheek quickly, winking and hurrying off to people who chant his name.

I laugh, making my way over to my friends. Max eyes me, “You’re seriously beating me out of number one best friend spot.”

“Good! I deserve it more.” He shakes his head, his curls moving with him.

“Not fair! Lando likes your face more.” I roll my eyes and take another drink, turning to Carlos who’s with his girlfriend Rebecca.

“Can I steal your girlfriend away?” Carlos frowns as Rebecca sits up, “That actually wasn’t a question!” I take her hand and we run into the crowd.

Everyone’s sweaty and drunk and laughing. I hold onto Rebecca’s hand and jump under the lights. My hair is messy and in my face, my skirt riding up and I couldn’t be happier.

Some of our friends join us, hugging and waving at people as I grin. My drink is empty in my hand and I lose it when a guy comes up next to me. He’s one of Lando’s friends, hot and tall with shaggy hair.

I catch Lando in the crowd right as his friends puts his hand on my waist, whispering in my ear in an attempt to be seductive.

He’s laughing with Max and a girl I don’t know. She’s holding Lando’s hand but I can tell he’s trying to shake her off when he moves to push back his hair with his occupied hand.

He gives in eventually, dancing with her far too close for my eyes. I turn back to the guy and focus on him.

He grabs my ass as I move my hands to his shoulders, “You’re Y/n, right?” I nod, leaning my head back and feeling the music. “I’ve heard a lot about you!” I wish he would stop talking to me.

“That’s nice!” Is all I can say.

“Lando talks you up, I just had to see if you’re really that great!” I nod slowly and back away to my friends. Mentioning my best friend while feeling me up is not the way to get in my pants.

“Y/n!” Lily, Alex Albons girlfriend grins at me. Every annoyance in my face disappears as I hug her.

“Lily!” We melt into a mix of talking, screaming the lyrics, and dancing.

“Where’s Lando!?” She yells over the music as I shrug.

“Off with some girl!”

She gives me a look. It’s weird and almost surprised, She sips her drink and nods drunkenly, “You need a boyfriend!” When she gets pulled away by her boyfriend, I slip out of the crowd.

I know my way around the place, there’s three levels and they’re all completely filled. When I step up to the third, I can see Lando at the DJ booth, a huge smile on his face.

I close the door behind me, the music muffling as I walk up the staircase. It’s creepy and dark but as soon as I step onto the roof, the cool air hitting me, I take a deep breath and smile.

I love parties, I wouldn’t be so close with Lando if I didn’t. But I need air far more often than him. I step to the edge, leaning on the barrier and looking out at the city.

People are walking the streets still, some dancing and some arguing. They look like ants. My eyes catch on a tiny couples, they’re holding hands and skipping down the street.

I rest my chin on my hand, looking up at the stars. I wonder if any of the stars are looking down at me and thinking I look like an ant.

I’m so absorbed in the sky that I jump when the door to the starecase opens. When I turn, I see Lando.

His hands are in his pockets as he walks up to me, “You okay?”

“Yeah! Just wanted some air…” I turn to him, the concrete rubbing against my exposed back, “Why are you up here?”

“Looking for you. Had a feeling you’d be looking at the stars.” He's teasing but I know he’s 100% serious. He rests his forearms on the parapet and looks out at the city.

I outline his profile in my mind, his freckles and hair looking extra nice under the moonlight. His eyes closes, dark green disappearing under unfairly thick lashes.

“Enjoying the party?” I ask quieter than I meant.

He turns to me, looking at me like no one else has. “I’d be enjoying it more if you would stay with me.” I may have been avoiding him a tiny bit, but I wanted him to be catching up with his other friends.

“You seemed like you were enjoying that girl's presence more than mine.” I’m lying and he knows it.

Lando turns to me, narrowing his eyes, “Untrue.” He looks at me for a second, his eyes flicking down to my body. If it were anyone else, I would think they were just looking at my outfit. Unfortunately, I know Lando better than that. “You look good.”

“Well this party is star studded…” I joke, “Had to look my best to compete.” I run my hand through my hair, my rings tugging on it.

He shakes his head, not joking with me, “They can’t compete with you in pajamas, love.” Still, a serious little smile tugs at his lips. This is what he does.

He drops something like that then goes and makes out with a girl opposite of me. But I’ve done the same so I can’t say anything. It’s just how our friendship works.

“Someone’s been taking advantage of the bar.”

“I've had two drinks.” Is all he says. I know he’s serious, too. “I wanted to say thank you- though. That’s why I came up here.”

I smile softly, tilting my head at him, “You’ve said thank you.”

“I mean thank you for everything.” His hands fidget in front of him, “For being there.”

He’s being extra sincere. “You’re welcome. And this is your present so don’t go asking for more-” He gets a big closer, laughing.

“Just one more thing?” He says in a sort of begging tone.

I raise a brow, our arms touching now, “What could you, Mr rich birthday boy, want?”

He bites his lip, then lets it go. The look he gives me is… magnetic. “A birthday kiss.”

It surprises me and for the first time in a while, I don’t know if he’s joking. “I’m sure you could get that from many others.”

“You don’t want to kiss me?” His hand goes to my waist, not touching my skin, but tugging at the fabric of my skirt.

I breathe in, scanning his face for any hint of humor. “I didn’t say that.” I know I made the right move when the corner of his mouth tugs upwards.

“So say you want to.” His voice is soft, that accent I’ve listened to for years soothing my beating heart.

I furrow my brows together, “You’re gonna make me beg for your birthday present?” There’s a tiny shadow on his face from the moonlight and his curls.

“It’s called consent, love.”

I take a big step, resting my arm on his shoulder so he gets closer, “Happy birthday, Lando.” I don’t think he’s going to do it at first, but then he leans in.

He hesitates, looking at my lips and eyes to make sure. But then he closes the gap and I wonder why I would ever say yes to this.

I think I'm out of my mind but who cares about that because Lando’s lips are on mine and I'm melting into him. He’s soft, pressing a gentle kiss onto my lips. Lando pulls back by an inch, he looks into my eyes. They're so green, my favorite color.

I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe and I'm pulling him back in, crushing his lips back onto mine. His hold on my hips gets tighter and my other arm wraps around his neck. His tongue goes into my mouth and suddenly I can’t understand why we haven’t done this before.

Kissing Lando is everything. My mind has come up with a hundred ways this would happen, I knew I shouldn’t think about it but I can’t help my dreams.

He feels hot against me. Hungry and needy for me.

He pulls me tighter against him, like he physically needs to be closer. It’s everything I've ever wanted and everything I’ve dreaded.

The moment someone steps out onto the roof, loudly stomping and singing, I pull away and look back over at the city.

It looks new… somehow.

I don’t look back at the guy, but Lando clears his throat and the man starts talking, “Oh shit! Sorry!” and the door closes, leaving us again in silence.

My heart is pounding so hard that I barely hear Lando mumble, “Dickhead.”

I smile slightly at this, dropping my head down so my hair falls in my face. What the fuck did I just do?

“I’m going to ask for one more thing.” Lando says, “Please don’t get mad.”

I push my hair behind my ear and listen to him.

“Can I take you out?” What the hell. “On an actual date. Not for a present or because I want you to. Because you want to.”

“Lando-”

“We’re not ruining anything.” He knows what I was going to say already. “I want to take you out on a date because I like you.”

I feel like I'm dreaming. This doesn’t feel possible. “Okay.”

“And you can’t say no just because you’re nervous because i’m nervous too and basically shitting myself just asking- wait. Okay!?”

I smile softly, nodding, “I guess I'll let you pay for a fancy dinner.”

He shakes his head, a huge smile appearing on his face, “We are not going to dinner! Do you even know me?” his hand goes to mine, lingering.

“I don’t want to fuck this up, Lando.” I say it because he’s right, I am scared.

He shakes his head, “I’m twenty fine… Nothing gets messed up anymore! Especially with you. Nothing is ever wrong with you.”

I sigh as he slips his hand to my cheek, moving his thumb softly against my skin. He cups my jaw and kisses me again. “I like kissing you.”

It feels right all over again, and I can’t help but smile at the idea that I’ll be doing this over and over again.

“Smiley.” He says against my lips.

Lando barely lets me get my words in, lost in lust and smiles, “I like you too, Norris. A lot.” He kisses me harder.

#fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #lando norris #lando norris fanfic #lando x reader #lando imagine #happy birthday lando norris😆😍✨

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dolcejwnie · 19 days ago

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WISH YOU WERE SOBER. N.RIKI

synopsis : the unfold of the lyrics of wish you were sober by conan gray .ᐟ

warning : presence of alcohol, drunk driving

genre : drunk af! niki x jealous reader, drunk kiss, drunk confession, 3154 words.ᐟ angst?

remember to reblog and like for more content!

the house was packed, heat and noise pressing in from all sides. you stood awkwardly by the snack table, clutching a drink you didn’t even like. the music was loud—too loud—and the energy in the room was chaotic. it wasn’t your scene, not by a long shot.

but you came. for him.

riki had invited you with his usual teasing grin, a playful “don’t get too bored without me, okay?” lingering in your mind. yet now, as you scanned the room, he seemed entirely absorbed in someone else.

your heart sank when you spotted him near the couch, leaning casually against the armrest. his ripped jeans and loose-fitting hoodie made him look effortlessly cool, even in a sea of overdressed partiers. but what really caught your attention was the girl next to him.

she was gorgeous in that confident, easy way—bright eyes and a perfect smile. she leaned into riki, laughing at something he said, her hand brushing his arm. and worse? he didn’t seem to mind.

you clenched your jaw as you watched him trade his half-full cup with hers, his laugh ringing out loud enough to carry over the music. he took a sip from her drink, giving her a cheeky grin as she teased him about it.

the sharp pang of jealousy hit you like a punch to the gut. you knew he was drunk—his slightly unsteady stance and overly relaxed smile gave it away—but it didn’t stop the ache spreading in your chest.

“you good?” a voice interrupted, and you glanced over to see jake raising a brow at your expression.

“yeah,” you lied, setting your drink down a little too hard.

you tried not to stare, but your gaze kept drifting back to riki. he was too charming for his own good, and he knew it. every time the girl laughed, every time she touched his arm, the knot in your stomach tightened.

you couldn’t stop watching him, noticing every little detail—the way he moved, the way he smiled, the way he laughed too loudly at his own jokes. he wasn’t himself tonight. he was nineteen, but the way he carried himself—confident, reckless, like the whole room revolved around him—made him seem so much older. like he’d stepped into a role he wasn’t ready to play.

you hated it.

he acted twenty-five now, like nothing mattered, like he had it all figured out. but you knew the truth. you’d seen the riki behind the bravado, the boy who told you his dreams in whispers and let his guard down when no one else was around. this version of him—cocky, careless—was just another mask.

and yet, it still hurt. because no matter how much you wanted to look away, a part of you couldn’t help but wish he’d act like the riki you knew when no one else was watching. the riki who saw you.

it wasn’t like you had a claim on him—you weren’t even sure what the two of you were. friends? something more? but seeing him like this, carefree and drunk, flirting without a second thought, made it hard to convince yourself it didn’t matter.

and then, as if he could feel your eyes on him, riki glanced your way. his grin faltered, just for a second, before he turned his attention back to the girl beside him.

your chest tightened, and you forced yourself to look away. this wasn’t the riki you knew—the one who laughed with you over stupid jokes and teased you about your favorite shows. this was someone else, someone you weren’t sure you liked.

you needed air. without another glance in his direction, you pushed through the crowd, heading for the stairs.

the noise of the party grew more distant as you slipped up the stairs, your chest tightening with every step. you didn’t know where you were going—just away. away from the thumping bass, the fake laughter, and, most of all, away from him.

the bathroom at the end of the hall was blissfully quiet. you closed the door behind you and let out a shaky breath, gripping the edge of the sink. the reflection staring back at you in the mirror was a mix of frustration and something rawer, harder to admit.

you didn’t belong here. this wasn’t your scene, and it never would be.

a quick glance at the small window above the sink sparked an idea. without hesitating, you unlocked it, pushed it open, and clambered out. the cool night air hit your face as you crouched on the slanted roof, the muffled sounds of the party still echoing behind you.

the roof was quiet, the cool breeze brushing against your face as you settled yourself on the sloped tiles. it felt good to be away from the stifling heat and noise of the party. the muffled bass thudded faintly below, but out here, under the open sky, it felt far less suffocating.

you stared up at the stars, trying to let the calm wash over you. but your thoughts wouldn’t stop circling back to him—his reckless laugh, the way he flirted with that girl, the way he’d grinned at you like none of it mattered.

lost in thought, you didn’t notice the sound of footsteps on the roof until a voice broke the silence.

“figured I’d find you up here.”

your head snapped around, and there he was—riki. he looked slightly breathless, his hoodie slipping off one shoulder, and his dark eyes locked onto yours.

“what are you doing here?” you asked, surprised and maybe a little annoyed.

“following you,” he said simply, sitting down beside you with a casual ease that felt at odds with the tension between you. “you left pretty fast.”

you gave him a sidelong glance. “yeah, well, i wasn’t having the time of my life.”

“same,” he admitted, leaning back on his hands. “but i didn’t realize it until you were gone.”

you scoffed, turning your gaze back to the stars. “didn’t seem like you were having a bad time. looked like you were having plenty of fun with her.”

he let out a soft sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. “yeah… i guess it looked that way.”

you stayed silent, waiting for him to explain.

“it’s not like i even knew her,” he continued after a moment. “it’s just… at these things, it’s easy to fall into that, you know? everyone’s pretending to have fun, pretending to be someone they’re not. and tonight, i guess i pretended a little too hard.”

your chest tightened at his words, your earlier frustration melting into something softer. “why, though? why go through all that if it’s not who you are?”

he turned to look at you, his eyes searching yours. “because sometimes it’s easier to be what people expect. but then you—” he paused, his voice quieter now. “you remind me that i don’t have to.”

you blinked, caught off guard by the rawness in his voice. “riki…”

he smiled faintly, leaning back against the roof. “you’re the only one here who sees me for… me. and i guess i didn’t want to lose that tonight.”

for a moment, the only sound was the wind rustling the trees and the distant thrum of the party below.

“you’re different out here,” you said softly.

he tilted his head, a teasing grin breaking through the seriousness. “better, right?”

you rolled your eyes but couldn’t hide your smile. “yeah, better.”

the roof felt like a different world, far removed from the noise and chaos of the party below. riki sat beside you, closer now, his arm brushing yours in a way that sent sparks through your skin. the cool night air couldn’t dampen the warmth that radiated between you.

for a while, you sat in silence, the stars twinkling faintly above. but the silence wasn’t empty. it was thick with unspoken words, emotions hanging in the air like a fragile thread that could snap at any moment.

riki shifted slightly, turning to look at you. His dark eyes, usually filled with playful mischief, were softer now—serious in a way that made your chest tighten. his lips parted, and for a moment, it looked like he might say something. but instead, he hesitated, letting the weight of his gaze speak instead.

you couldn’t look away.

the faint flush on his cheeks from the alcohol made him look younger, more vulnerable, and it clashed with the way he carried himself earlier in the night—careless, like nothing could touch him. now, though, the cracks in his bravado were showing, and all you could see was riki. the real riki.

“you’re different tonight,” you whispered, barely realizing you’d spoken aloud.

his lips curved into the faintest smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “so are you.”

you swallowed hard, your heart thudding painfully against your ribs. there were so many things you wanted to say, so many things you wanted to ask, but the words stuck in your throat. instead, you stood, brushing off your hands.

“we should go,” you murmured, not sure why you said it.

he blinked, momentarily surprised, but then he nodded. “yeah. let’s go.”

the walk to his car was quiet, but not uncomfortable. the cool night air wrapped around you, and you felt the buzz of energy beneath your skin, though you weren’t sure if it was from the party, the closeness of riki, or something else entirely.

when you reached his rover, he unlocked it and opened the passenger door for you with a small flourish. “your chariot awaits,” he said, a teasing smile tugging at his lips.

you rolled your eyes but climbed in, the faint scent of him—mint, cedar, and something unnameable—enveloping you as you settled into the seat. he slid in beside you, the door slamming shut with a finality that made your breath hitch.

the roof had been an escape, but now the quiet hum of riki’s rover felt impossibly loud. the cool night air from the open window brushed against your face, but it did nothing to calm the storm brewing in your chest.

riki sat in the driver’s seat beside you, leaning back against the headrest, his flushed cheeks illuminated by the faint glow of the dashboard. his hoodie hung off one shoulder, and his dark hair was slightly mussed, falling into his eyes in a way that was charming you into melting all the shreds of glass that this party stuck upon your heart.

he turned his head to look at you, his eyes glassy but still searching. “you okay?” he asked, his words slightly slurred but filled with concern.

you let out a soft laugh, shaking your head. “i should be asking you that.”

he grinned, lopsided and boyish, the kind of grin that made your stomach flip even when you didn’t want it to. “i’m great. well…” he paused, his brow furrowing in mock thought. “i mean, I feel a little dizzy. but, like, in a good way, you know?”

“yeah,” you said softly, your gaze dropping to your hands. “i know.”

he leaned closer, his breath warm and tinged with the faint, sweet smell of alcohol. “hey,” he said, his voice dropping to a whisper. “you’re really pretty, you know that?”

your heart stuttered, but you forced yourself to roll your eyes, trying to play it off. “you’re drunk, riki.”

“so?” he shot back, his lips curving into another grin. “doesn’t make it less true.”

you bit your lip, your chest tightening. his cheeks were flushed a deep red now, and his dark eyes sparkled with a mixture of mischief and vulnerability that made it impossible to look away.

“come here,” he said suddenly, his voice soft and in a little warm breath.

your breath caught, and for a moment, you didn’t move. but something in his gaze—unguarded and raw—pulled you in. slowly, hesitantly, you leaned closer, the small space between you shrinking until you could feel the heat radiating off him.

his hand came up to your face, clumsy but gentle, his thumb brushing against your cheek in a way that sent shivers down your spine. his lips were parted, and his eyes flickered down to yours, his breath hitching like he wasn’t sure he should move closer.

but then he did.

the kiss was soft at first, tentative, as though he wasn’t sure you’d let him. his lips were warm, slightly chapped, and they tasted faintly of the drink he’d traded earlier—sweet and sharp, like the party still clung to him.

he tilted his head, deepening the kiss, his other hand fumbling to rest on your knee. his touch was a little too firm, his movements a little too eager, and it was impossible to ignore how unsteady he was.

when he pulled back slightly, his forehead rested against yours, his breathing uneven. “you’re amazing,” he murmured, his words slurring just enough to make your chest ache.

“riki…” you whispered, your voice breaking.

“what?” he asked, his smile soft and boyish, like he didn’t know the damage he was doing. “i mean it. you’re—” He hiccupped, blinking in surprise before letting out a sheepish laugh. “okay, maybe i’ve had a little too much.”

you pulled back slightly, searching his face. his cheeks were still flushed, his lips red and swollen from the kiss, and his eyes—bright and unfocused—were locked on you like you were the only thing keeping him tethered to reality.

“i wish you were sober,” you said softly, the words tumbling out before you could stop them.

his smile faltered, and for a moment, he looked like a confused little boy. “why?” he asked, his voice quieter now, almost afraid.

“because then i’d know this was real,” you admitted, your chest tightening as the truth spilled out.

“it is real,” he said quickly, his hand squeezing yours like he was trying to prove it. “i swear, it is. i—i just…” he trailed off, his brow furrowing as he struggled to find the right words. “i just feel braver, i guess. like i can finally say it.”

you blinked back the sting in your eyes, shaking your head. “but it shouldn’t take that, riki. you shouldn’t need a drink to tell me how you feel.”

his expression crumpled, and for the first time that night, he looked genuinely upset. “i’m sorry,” he said, his voice cracking. “i didn’t mean to mess this up.”

“you didn’t,” you said quickly, though your heart was breaking. “i just… i need you to mean it when you say it. and right now, i don’t know if you do.”

the silence that followed was deafening, and the weight of it pressed down on you like a physical thing. riki’s hand slipped from yours, falling to his lap as he stared down at the space between you.

“i do,” he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper. “i just don’t know how to make you believe me.”

your heart ached at the sincerity in his voice, but it didn’t change the way you felt. because no matter how much you wanted to believe him, you couldn’t ignore the doubt that lingered in the back of your mind.

and as the night stretched on, the only thing you could think was how much you wished he was sober.

the drive to your house was quiet, the kind of silence that wasn’t empty but full of unspoken emotions. the faint hum of the engine blended with the distant echo of your heartache. riki kept glancing at you, his gaze lingering a little too long before flickering back to the road. his flushed cheeks had faded slightly, but the soft haze of alcohol was still evident in his glassy eyes.

you wanted to say something, to fill the silence with words that might make sense of everything swirling between you. but every time you opened your mouth, the words caught in your throat.

finally, he pulled up outside your house, the gravel crunching under the tires. the faint glow of the porch light illuminated the quiet street, casting long shadows across the car.

riki killed the engine and turned to you, his hands gripping the steering wheel like it was the only thing keeping him steady. his eyes, dark and earnest, searched yours, and you felt the weight of his gaze like it was a physical thing.

“we’re here,” he said softly, his voice low, rough and almost hesitant, as though he didn’t want the night to end.

you nodded, reaching for the door handle. but before you could open it, his hand shot out, gently catching your wrist.

“wait,” he said, his voice cracking slightly.

you froze, your heart thudding painfully in your chest as you turned to face him.

“i… i know i messed up tonight,” he started, his words stumbling over each other. “but i don’t want this to be it. i don’t want you to leave thinking i don’t care, because i do. more than i know how to say.”

your breath caught, and for a moment, all you could do was stare at him. his cheeks were flushed a deep red now, and his dark eyes sparkled with a mixture of mischief and vulnerability that made your chest tighten.

“riki,” you began, but he shook his head, cutting you off.

“just… let me walk you to the door,” he said, his voice softer now, almost pleading.

you hesitated, but eventually, you nodded. “okay.”

the two of you climbed out of the rover, the cool night air biting at your skin as you walked up the familiar path to your front door. the world was quiet, the distant hum of the party a faint memory.

when you reached the porch, you turned to face him, your heart aching at the way he looked at you. he was trying so hard to hold himself together, but you could see the cracks in his façade—the vulnerability that made your chest tighten.

“thanks for walking me,” you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

he nodded, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his hoodie. “yeah… of course.”

for a moment, you both just stood there, the silence stretching between you. then, before you could second-guess yourself, you leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

but riki, being riki, wasn’t content with just that. before you could pull away, he turned his head, catching your lips with his.

the kiss was different this time. it wasn’t clumsy or hurried—it was slow, deliberate, and laced with all the things he couldn’t say. his hands found your waist, pulling you closer as though he was afraid to let you go.

for a moment, you let yourself sink into it. his lips were warm, and the faint taste of alcohol was still there, but it wasn’t as sharp this time. it was softer, almost bittersweet, like the lingering notes of a song you didn’t want to end.

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