#that nate didn't bring into the relationship himself

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia! Just caught up on the most recent chapter of Underline the Blue that you uploaded to A03, and could you elaborate a little more on why Christian acts the way he does? Is it just that he's been able to treat Nate this way for so long that he believes he's entitled to and/or beyond reproach?

Christian's a straight-up psychopath.

He has no real capacity for genuine empathy towards other people, and no capacity for remorse. Anyone around him is always in danger, and he's charming enough to be able to fool quite a lot of people.

There's not really much of a 'why.' We don't really know exactly what causes or creates a psychopath, and how much of it is genetic, or social etc. Some people are just like this. It's like asking why Crielle enjoys hurting people. Well, she enjoys it, she always has, that's how she's always been. It's fun for her, and she doesn't see why she shouldn't get to have fun if she can trick other people into leaving her alone to do as she pleases.

Christian is careful about who he hurts to this degree. He doesn't just believe he's entitled to treat Nate this way, in this society, he is legally allowed to treat Nate this way. There's no laws protecting omegas from domestic violence or abuse, and omegas are an easy target for this reason.

~~

(The Spoils of the Spoiled version of Christian is not a psychopath, but he's still an abusive asshole who very much believes he can treat other people however he wants, and does so).

[punkshort]

Hard to Handle

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader one-shot

Summary: One year after Joel cheats on you and gets someone else pregnant, you run into him for the first time.

Warnings: pre-outbreak au, angst, language, infidelity, female rage, alcohol consumption, open/ hopeful ending but reader and Joel do not end up together

WC: 2.5K

Written for @tightjeansjavi's June writing challenge

"Guess who Neil saw at the pediatrician?"

You cracked open one eye and bringing your hand up to shield you from the sun, squinted over at your best friend, Kate. "Who?"

She grinned and sat up in her lounge chair. "Joel."

You made a face and closed your eyes again. "Don't care."

"He was all alone, Nate said. Looked like he was struggling to keep the baby quiet in the waiting room and he also said he looked tired as shit."

"Good."

"C'mon, aren't you the least bit curious?"

You made an exasperated noise and sat up in your chair to face her. "What's the point? He made his bed, he can lie in it."

Kate sighed and pulled out her phone. "Well, I was curious so I looked him up on Facebook and guess what?"

"I don't-"

"The bitch left him!" she exclaimed, showing you Joel's Facebook profile where it clearly stated his relationship status was single and the profile picture was an old one from high school. You snorted and shook your head.

"It's been almost a year, what do you want me to say?"

"I want you to feel happy that he's fucking miserable, that's what," Kate said, picking up the baby monitor at her feet and zooming in on the screen, checking to make sure her six month old was still asleep.

"Okay, fine. I'm happy he's fucking miserable," you replied before taking sip of your lemonade. "It's not fair to the baby, though."

"Oh, of course not," Kate said immediately, "but after what he did to you, you can't deny that this is karma kicking his ass."

You shrugged and looked down at your hands, picking at something imaginary underneath your nail. It had been almost a year since you left Joel. A full year when you found out, after being together since junior year in high school, that Joel had cheated on you and gotten someone else pregnant.

Well, found out probably isn't the right term. He flat out confessed one morning.

You had woken up and reached out for him, your hand running up and down his bare chest. You inched forward and buried your nose against his side, breathing in deep his natural, masculine scent before slowly dragging your hand underneath the covers to the waistband of his boxers. You didn't even realize he was awake yet until his hand suddenly shot out and stopped you.

"What's wrong?" you asked, sleep still permeating your voice.

"Nothin'."

You opened your eyes and looked up at him. He was wide awake and staring at the ceiling.

"Joel?"

He slowly turned his head to look at you and at the same time, one single tear slid from the corner of his eye. You scrambled up into a sitting position, panic singing in your veins.

"What's wrong?" you asked again, harsher this time. He swallowed and slowly sat up.

"I gotta tell you somethin'."

Your pulse began to race as all the possibilities ran through your mind, but what he said next was never what you had expected to hear.

"I slept with someone else and... she's pregnant."

You remembered in that moment it had felt like time stood still. The birds stopped chirping, the lawn mowers stopping running, the laughter outside your window ceased because the world as you knew it just ended.

After that, your memory was a little hazy.

You were sure you said some terrible things as you packed up all your belongings in a rage. The terms motherfucking piece of shit and fucking loser were tossed around more than once. You do remember preemptively accusing him of giving you an STD because he chased around whores and as you were walking out the door, you told him he would be a terrible father because he was still acting like a child himself.

Joel didn't say a single thing back. He stood there the entire time and took it, each word landing like a blow across the jaw. You weren't sure what pissed you off more: the fact that he didn't say anything or that he didn't even try to make you stay.

After you had a few weeks to reflect on it, you came to the conclusion that he must have been looking for a reason to break up and he was too chickenshit to do it himself, so he found a way to make you do it.

You blocked him on everything you could think of and pushed him from your mind. His name was banned in every conversation you had with your friends and family and as time went on, you managed to heal. You found a cute little apartment in downtown Austin and began hanging out more with your friends. You even went on a few dates with a couple different guys but nothing ever managed to stick, and you were fine with that. You actually preferred it. Being single was something you weren't familiar with and now, in your mid twenties, you were actually having a really fun time getting to know yourself again.

After so much time had passed, you really thought you were over it. Even after Kate shared that news with you, you still barely had a reaction. You were proud of yourself and feeling good. Joel was the furthest thing from your mind when you met some friends out for drinks that Friday night after work. The bar was crowded, but that wasn't unusual. It was one of the most popular spots downtown and your friend, Shannon, got there before the rest of you and managed to grab a small table.

"Are you still seeing that guy? The one with the cats?" Mel asked Shannon, and she shook her head.

"Ghosted me," she replied, making a sour face. You both pouted in return and you rubbed her back.

"Fuck him. There's plenty of other guys out there. Hell, there's plenty of guys right fucking here," you giggled and gestured behind her towards the packed bar. You noticed one guy in particular with sandy blonde hair and blue eyes glancing her way every few minutes and you nudged her foot under the table and jutted your chin in his direction. "Exhibit A."

She looked over her shoulder and smiled shyly before looking back at the two of you.

"I don't know..." she said hesitantly, then bit her lip and looked at him again. This time, the guy winked at her and she blushed.

"Come on, he's cute. Go dance with him," Mel urged, then Shannon grinned and snatched her purse.

"What the hell, can't hurt."

You both giggled as you watched her weave her way through the crowd towards her mystery man. Mel tossed back the rest of her drink with a wince before speaking again.

"Your turn."

You shook your head.

"Nah, I just wanna have a few drinks and go home, I'm not looking for another headache other than the one this vodka's gonna give me in the morning."

Mel opened her mouth to reply but then her eyes flicked to something over your shoulder. "Incoming," was all she said. You rolled your eyes and braced yourself for a shitty one-liner, but you turned out to be very wrong.

"Evenin', ladies," came a very familiar drawl from behind you. Your shoulders immediately stiffened and you slowly looked up. Sure enough, there he was. Joel.

It was Tommy who had greeted you. Joel still had yet to say anything as you glared at him. You met Mel after your breakup with Joel, and while you had told her about it, she never saw what he looked like so she was completely oblivious to what was happening. She had introduced herself to Tommy and was giggling at something he said while you were mentally planning your escape route.

"Lemme buy you a drink," Tommy offered, reaching out a hand. Mel eagerly took it and glanced back at you, frowning a little when she noticed your icy demeanor.

You ok? she mouthed, and you just nodded. She grinned and followed Tommy to the bar, leaving just the two of you.

"Mind if I sit?" he asked. You shrugged and grabbed your purse.

"It's all yours, I was just heading out."

"C'mon, don't be like that," he said. You swiveled around angrily and he held out a refill of your favorite mixed drink as a shitty peace offering. Kate was right. He had bags under his eyes and he looked run down.

"You hand me that drink and I'm dumping it over your fucking head," you snarled. He sighed and set it down on the table.

"I tried callin' but it never goes through."

"Because I blocked you, asshole."

"Yeah, I figured that out," he replied, sounding annoyed now. "Can you please just sit down?" he pleaded, pulling your chair out, but you shook your head and took a step back.

"No, Joel. I don't have anything else to say to you," you told him, then before you caused a scene you turned on your heel and began to push your way to the door, ignoring him calling your name over the music.

When you got outside, you took a deep breath, the cool night air mixing with cigarette smoke from a few bar patrons nearby. You didn't live too far away, so you decided to walk home and text your friends on the way so they knew you were safe. It was about two blocks away from the bar when Joel caught up with you and the idea of him finding out where you lived made you irrationally angry.

His fingers reached out and brushed against your elbow, trying to get you to slow down. You yanked your arm away and skid to a stop. "Don't fucking touch me, Joel."

"I'm sorry, please," he tried, but you shook your head.

"Sorry for what? For ruining my night out with my friends or throwing away seven years together and knocking up some slut?" Your nostrils flared as you glared at him angrily and a few people walking by turned in your direction then murmured amongst themselves when they were out of earshot. Joel glanced around nervously and raked his fingers through his hair.

"Can we please talk? I-I wanna apologize, I wanna make things right-"

"It's too late, Joel," you huffed and crossed your arms.

"Goddamnit, why you always gotta be so fuckin' stubborn?" he groaned, "this is why it wasn't workin', by the way. This is exactly fuckin' why."

"So your answer was to cheat on me? Real fucking classy," you snapped.

"I was fuckin' drunk!" he almost yelled, making you jump. "'Sides, from the sound of it you're havin' the time of your life bein' single. Makin' up for all those years you were stuck with me?"

"Fuck you!" you seethed, pointing your finger in his face. "You fucking asshole! Who the hell do you think you are? And why are you keeping tabs on me, anyway? What I do isn't your goddamn business anymore, so leave me alone!"

He buried his face in his palms and rubbed his eyes aggressively before taking a deep breath and trying again.

"I know, I know. And I'm sorry."

"What are you even doing out at a bar this late, anyway? Shouldn't you be home with your kid?" you said, leaving out the part about him being a single dad now, refusing to give him the satisfaction that you already knew.

"My mom's watchin' Sarah, wanted to give me a break," he mumbled. For some reason, hearing his baby's name made you freeze. Sarah, Sarah, Sarah. "It's just us now," he continued, and you swallowed tightly, finally letting him speak. "She left us a few weeks after Sarah was born. Said she couldn't handle it. I told her it sounded like that post-partum... whatever it's called," he continued, taking a step back so he could rest his tired body against the building behind him. "But she just got more and more distant and one mornin' I woke up to Sarah screamin' her head off in the crib and a note on her dresser."

You clenched your jaw, biting back the instinct to express your sympathy. Even through all your rage you couldn't help but feel a little bad for him. You could see it in his eyes. They weren't bright and playful like they used to be. The past year aged him.

"I made a mistake but I ain't gonna abandon my kid. Don't get how anyone could," he said softly, "she's just so small 'n helpless 'n I'm all she's got."

You took a deep breath and averted your gaze, staring up the street at nothing in particular. Even if you felt bad for him, that didn't change what he did to you: a betrayal worse than anything you had ever experienced. When you opened your mouth to tell him that, he spoke first.

"I still love you."

Your shoulders sagged and you closed your eyes.

"How stupid do you think I am?" you asked quietly. His tired eyes roamed over your face helplessly. "Your baby mama left you and now you're feeling overwhelmed so you thought you'd try crawling back?"

"That's not what this is," he insisted. "I didn't know I'd see you here tonight but now that I have, I couldn't let you leave without tellin' you I've thought about you every single fuckin' day since you left. Even the day Sarah was born, I was starin' down at her wishin' you were her mama instead." His eyes began to glisten, filling with unshed tears as he poured his heart out to you on the sidewalk. "I fucked up, baby. But if-"

"Don't call me that."

He ignored you and kept talking. "But if you gimme one more chance I promise I'll make it up to you." He gazed at you, blinking back his tears while trying to read your expression. "We got so much history together, there's gotta be something left. Somethin' worth fightin' for."

You tilted your head to the side and shook your head sadly.

"Sorry, Joel," you replied, watching as his face fell. "You made your choices, now you gotta live with them."

You turned and began to walk in the direction of your apartment, proud that you stood your ground but still feeling a pit in your stomach as you left. He wasn't wrong. You had a lot of history together and the hardest thing you ever had to do was walk away from him, but you knew in the end, you had to put yourself first.

Before he was out of earshot, you turned back around, spotting him standing in the same spot against the building staring down at his feet.

"Hey," you called out, and he quicky looked up.

"Good luck. To both you and Sarah. I mean it," you said sincerely. "You're doing the right thing, Joel."

He slowly nodded and you turned back around. Pulling out your phone, you saw a missed text from Mel asking where you were.

I'm gonna be okay, but I'm going home.

[everydayyoulovemeless]

HC on a modern fallout. Like same characters just in now times.

Like Obvs Nick would still be a PI but what of the others? Would factions be a thing still or would they all have normal jobs?

What of the synths?

Modern Fo4 Headcanons

➼ Word Count » 3.3k ➼ Warnings » Spoilers for many character arcs ➼ Genre » Modern AU ➼ A/N » This took me WAY too long, but I had so many things I wanted to write down and expand on.

COMPANIONS [ these are how I imagine them before meeting Nate and Nora, a random couple who just happens to enter into everyone's lives ]

MacCready grew up as an orphan in Virginia where the older kids raised him. He never got adopted and, while he was thankful for the teens who raised him, there was always a sense of abandonment and negativity that he'd always attach with the state. So, when he turned 18, he hitchhiked to Boston, hoping to find a happier and more fulfilling life. It didn't happen as soon as he'd wanted, however, and he bounced from place to place looking for a stable job. His rugged exterior and immature attitude forced him out of a lot of areas, but there was a group that didn't mind any of that. MacCready was ecstatic when the Gunners first picked him up. They gave him jobs, sure, but they had also given him a group he could identify with in the same way he did with the kids back at the Orphanage. After a year of working with them, MacCready met Lucy. He'd originally planned on robbing her, but her name reminded her too much of the Lucy he'd grown up with, and offered to walk he home instead. When they had gotten to her door she asked him about why he was wearing army pants. He jokingly told her that he was in the military who was currently on leave, which she ended up believing. It surprised MacCready since his Gunners tattoo was visible on his arm, but he found her gullibility to be endearing. After that, the two spent a lot of time together, but right after Duncan was born, she pieced together his association with the gang, left him, and quickly moved into an apartment located in a safer area. Heartbroken and consumed with guilt, he quit the gang for good and worked to better himself and clean up his act so that he could be a part of his son's life, and maybe try his relationship with Lucy once more. He does a few odd jobs here and there but, so far, none of them have stuck.

Once Nick's testing was over, the students at CIT didn't know what to do with him other than to let him roam the campus, so he stuck with what he knew - police work. He'd wander the college as an officer, looking for any job or event that could require his help. At first, he was treated more as a Protectron than an actual member of the force, but that never really bothered him, as long as he was actively making people safer, then he was content. What did bother him, however, was the amount of jury trials he had to be present at for being the product of unethical testing. It always made him feel guilty that he was an unconsented clone of the real Nick Valentine's mind, and if he could, he would've chosen not to be created at all. Knowing the amount of pain his existence had caused an actual person made him feel awful, but he'd rather put that energy into his community over hating himself for something that was out of his control. He never really got over the confusion and sadness he had when he thought about who he was but, over time, many of the students began to treat him as if he were a real person. They'd greet him in the mornings, buy him ties on special occasions, and every once in a while someone would bring him coffee, forgetting that he couldn't drink it. His life slowly changed from him not understanding what his purpose was, to becoming a well-respected member in his field. Even the real Nick grew to appreciate him after he helped to hunt down Eddie when no one else wanted to. His memories of DiMA were still there (as it had only been a 2 or 3 decades compared to 2 centuries), but his brother didn't stay with the school, instead opting to discover himself elsewhere. As soon as he was allowed, he left for Maine and made a name for himself as the first robotic philosopher and occasionally sending letters to Nick.

Cait ran away from home at 15 in an attempt to escape the abuse she received from her parents. Scared, alone, and incredibly fragile, she was an easy target for many others on the streets and was taken advantage of both emotionally and sexually by almost anyone who saw her. As the years went by, the more hardened and angry she had become. Finally able to adapt to her surroundings, she stole, fought, and threatened anyone she could. This led her to be put in many juvenile detention centers and child reformat camps, both of which never helped change her view on the world. Still living on the streets at 18, she went and bought her first gun. She thought of going to visit her parents for a while, wondering if it would make some of the pain she felt go away. On the day she decided she was finally ready to go kill them, she ran into Tommy, a sleazy businessman who was desperate to strike it big in the corporate world. Seeing the potential and opportunity that a young, angry, mistreated girl could present to him, he offered her a deal. If she focused her rage into wrestling and let him be her manager, he'd help her get off the streets and really make a name for herself. She agreed and very quickly became one of the best and most well-known wrestlers in Boston, although, most of the press that covers her is about her attitude and allegation regarding her addictions. She still holds onto that shotgun she bought. It reminds her of what could've been and helps her feel a sense of security. She knows no one will take advantage of her again because she now has the means to ensure of it. She's still waiting for the day her parents beg her to take them back so she can tell them off, but they never did. It hurts her more to know that, even now that she's found success for herself, her parents still don't want her. So, until it kills her, she'll drink and inject herself with whatever she can get her hands on, desperate to numb as many of her thoughts as she can until she passes.

Danse was also made at CIT, although he's much more advanced than Nick is. Almost immediately after being created, he left to go to DC where he met Cutler. Cutler was on the verge of homelessness and pitched his idea of starting a small business to Danse who agreed quickly (he had no other plans). They sold odd things they either built or found for a few years before they were approached by a general in the US Army. He was only browsing, but Danse felt compelled by his stories from when he was in combat. There was something about serving his country and defending the common man that he found to be incredible, and so he and Cutler quit their gig and signed up for the army. There've been robots who've joined the military before, but none who made the decision on their own volition. All the others are Assaultrons and Mr. Gutsy, so having one who willingly wanted to be a part of the cause was astounding to many. Cutler eventually got mortally wounded and Danse, who was clearly devasted, was then assigned to work with Haylen and Rhys out of fear that he'd go haywire or malfunction due to the impact of his friends death, and that's where he's been ever since. The memories he'd been given were vague and slightly foggy, but the army gave him something to identify with and a cause to work for. He was prideful in the work he did and, although there were others, he served to be one of the first instances of a robot showing a willingness to fight for his country.

Ever since he was young, Preston had looked up to those who did right by people. At first, he joined a police academy to be an officer, but after a bystander got caught up in one of the scenes he'd been sent to, he quit, deciding that this wasn't something he was cut out to do. The guilt of not being able to successfully protect an innocent civilian eats away at him, so, in an attempt to make it up to himself, he went into hospice care. At least here he knows the deaths aren't his fault and that all the people he cares for have lived long, fulfilling lives. Currently, he's caring for the long-time addict, Mama Murphy (who still manages to sneak a few pills into the room every now and again). Preston adores her, but every once in a while she'll tell him about a dream she's had where the world had ended and he played a part in rebuilding it. He can't let her describe it for long, though, otherwise she'll start to panic and he'll have to grab her medication to help calm her down, and he hates having to give her drugs. Luckily he knows that she's just and elderly woman suffering from schizophrenia and none of what she says about a war torn world holds any truth. As much trouble as she causes him, Preston isn't sure what he's going to do when she's gone. He only hopes that it doesn't shatter him as much as the bystander incident did.

Codsworth still operates under Sole's roof in taking care of Shaun and the home. Nothing changes with him, however, when he went to drop Shaun off at college for the first time, he met Nick, and the two got along quite well! Whenever he goes to visit Shaun with the family he always makes sure to stop by to chat with the detective.

Piper runs a very controversial newsstand right in the heart of Boston. There are so many authorities and higher-ups whose reputations have been ruined due to her articles, and even with a mob of protestors against her, she still does whatever she wants. She grew up in a smaller town on the outskirts of Massachusetts before she managed to work up enough cash to get herself and Nat to the city, where she could finally begin to look for work to support them both. However, she quickly found that the 'big city' had many issues on its own and, since then, she was dead set on bringing people's attention to them. She doesn't care about the death threats or riots that sometimes occur outside her home. The police know her well enough by now to keep an eye out in her neighborhood. Especially Nick, who met her once while she set up a debate booth on campus and interviewed students for an article she planned on publishing. She's not rich by any means, but she loves her job. And, to her, there's no better feeling than that. She's just praying Nat isn't as prone to controversy as she is.

Curie was placed in a research facility where she helped to test and study different diseases with a group of other doctors before being places in a hospital. She mainly cares for sick children but is reveled to be one of the best doctors as she doesn't need to sleep or take any breaks. She adores her job and never stops working on cures and medicine for her patients. When she heard about the synths being created at CIT, she asked her supervisors if she could swap bodies so she could better fit in with the rest of her coworkers, as well as be able to hold vials and syringes better. They agreed and got her a custom made body for her to subvert her subconscious into. Eventually, when he's older, Shaun will come into her clinic in hopes of having his cancer fully treated, but that'll be years from now when he's in his 70s.

Even though Strong isn't affected by the FEV in this timeline, he still holds that same barbaric and thuggish aura. He's not affiliated with any gangs, but he's no stranger to violence and lives in the part of town where shootings happen the most often. Despite his intimidating stature and hostile disposition, he still frequents the local libraries. More often than he'd care to admit. He loves old literature and has a bit of a soft spot for anyone who likes it too. He claims she's overexaggerating, but Daisy will usually sit and listen to him ramble for hours about the beauty and symbolism littered throughout Shakespeare's plays or Lovecraft's short stories.

Hancock is a well-known politician who is loved as much as he is hated. Ever since Piper outed him for his drug addiction and put into question his validity and dedication to his cause, he's been somewhat of a controversial figure in the political world. Despite it all, he has no ill feelings toward Piper or Publick Occurrences and is constantly hyping it up as a reliable news source. Although he owns quite a bit of cash, he's constantly pouring it into the slums of Boston. Some think this is just a publicity stunt to make up for his occasional violent outbursts (the drugs do a number on him since he's not a ghoul), he does it because he genuinely believes it's right for him to do. Besides, the people are friendlier there. Now his biggest concern is building up his reputation again so he can beat his brother when they run for mayor against one another. Him and his secretary, Fahrenheit, have a lot planned for the city and they'd like to see those ideas become reality as quickly as they can manage.

No one's really sure who Deacon is, and some are cautious of him for it. One thing that is certain about him is that he's a massive history buff, and is almost always in a museum of some kind. His favorite past time is striking up conversation with strangers who probably just want to be left alone while they browse the artifacts displayed, but he doesn't really care. Eventually, he happens to start a conversation with Nate and Nora in the Museum of Freedom and he quickly integrates himself into the couple lives. Him and Barbara like to show up spontaneously on their doorstep with a pack of beers in their hands and grins on their faces, but surely they don't mind.. even if they still have no idea what he does for a living.

X6-88 is another one who doesn't change much. He works as security for CIT along with Nick, and few other courser's, although none of them are as approachable as the detective seems to be. He's very strict about his job and carries it out very well, however, when Shaun eventually begins to attend the college, they sorta hit it off? Not really because either of them are particularly kind to one another, but more so because they like it when people are straight forward, intelligent, and blunt and they both just so happen to be that.

Dogmeat’s a stray that everyone seems to know. Officially, he’s Mama Murphy’s, but most everyone claims him. He appears whenever someone's in distress or wherever his owner's vision take him. He's a mysterious dog with strange motives.

Old Longfellow lives as a fisherman up in Maine. Nothing particularly changes with him, he's still got the same closed off personality that he'd always had. His wife got sick and died and few years back, but his daughter went and became and engineer in a similar area to DiMA. Longfellow thinks DiMA's a kook but his daughter thinks he's a scientific masterpiece and will often ask him questions about his creation or how his mind was built.

Gage grew up around gang violence and quickly learned to steal, lie, and hurt to get the things he wanted. He never really lived in a stable home and mostly just squatted or camped wherever he could. Despite living in poverty, whenever he and his friends managed to scrap together enough money together, they'd hitch a ride to Nuka World and spend the day there. He grew to have a soft spot for the amusement park as he got older, and took up a maintenance job for them (they don't do background checks.. or any skill checks for that matter, but Gage is a quick learner.)

MAJOR FACTIONS + SYNTHS

The synths operate in society along with the other robots of the fallout universe. But, unlike the Protectrons, they can actually hold conversations. Because of that, they normally take on your regular lower-class to lower-middle-class jobs. They don't tend to be rich at all in their lifetimes due to the stigma around treating them exactly like humans. A lot of those opportunities have been stripped away from them for those exact reason. Some of them still manage to find ways around it, but it's a lot harder than how it'd be if they were a regular human. For instance, synths can't start businesses on their own. Many argue that it's because they're just not meant to do anything on their own and that they were created to help humans, but no one can give an argument on how them doing their own thing would harm them either.

The Railroad is the main group that's actively against the stereotypes and discrimination faced by the synths. Although, they've received a lot of backlash for naming themselves after a former anti-slavery group (many don't think it's fair to compare 1800s racism to whether or not bots can work higher-paying jobs), they've still become a huge relief to many synths who are desperate to be treated the same as any other person would.

The Institute is just a college in the modern age. Despite them receiving some backlash from the public about whether or not the practice of creating human-like bots, arguing that it's too 'Frankenstein-like', the students and professors still continue to build and work to make more and more realistic, artificial creatures and beings. Mr. House helps to fund their research as he finds it useful and because he also went their for school.

The Minutemen don't exist. There's no need when you have the police force, the fire department, and properly operating Protectrons active in the community. Most of hose who were a part of this faction have taken up community-centered jobs like farming or social work.

The Brotherhood of Steel continue to exist as the US Military. They're more focused on defending the country than they are preserving technology and the only places you’ll see one is in military bases or along the coast.

MINOR FACTIONS

The Atom Cats (along with Sturges) are a group of young adults who work at the local Harley Davidson. Tuesdays and Thursdays they host poetry night and generally just open the place up as a garage for anyone interested in mechanics or just hanging out with a bunch of strangers.

Raiders and Gunners are just the Bloods and Crips of the modern world. They stick with their own groups and despise anyone from the opposite side of the tracks. Shoot outs and common between them and it's best to not be associated at all if you can help it.

The Children of Atom are a strange and niche group of zealots that migrated from somewhere in Virginia to spread their gospel. No one’s sure who they are or what they want, but they’re attracted to the pollution cities bring and generally advocate for the betterment of the earth.

Ever since DiMA's arrival, Acadia's national park has turned into a debate ground for different thoughts and philosophies. People from all over the world come to visit to talk and discover other points of views. There's even a Atomite Pastor that frequents the area and promotes the newly found religion with those who are willing to listen. A strange place for stranger people.

[sciderman]

that sketch of nate and pete arm wrestling and peter totally overdoing it on the strength to Prove A Peter Point (ahem...)

do you think nate would ever explore that in the bed? like i feel like nate meets very very few people who could manhandle him in the bedroom and though peter is smaller, we know that does not matter in the slightest...

i ask only bc i get the vibes that in the nate/pete/wade dynamic, nate is usually the one "on top"/taking care of everyone/doesn't really let himself be at the absolute whim. is that something he'd be into at all? it's hard to picture tbh but also i think that would be a very much ! moment for wade since that wasn't their dynamic at all when they were together and it would be an interesting Thought Moment for him to see nate being vulnerable like that, a side wade might've never seen before

hooh! i definitely think it's something wade's tried at, before. to bring nathan down a peg. to get him to be more vulnerable with him, but – i don't think wade had much success with it, not necessarily because nathan didn't want to, but – just, wade shooting himself in the foot as usual. wade wants nathan to be more vulnerable, but won't do it himself. wade complains about exclusively being submissive, but – resigns himself to it, too. he likes the attention to be on him too much to surrender the spotlight. in fact, i think wade was wholly selfish in his relationship with nate. he wanted everything about him, and made everything about him. and i think wade didn't really ask very much about what nathan wanted, and only took notice when it didn't align with what wade wanted. so - wade wasn't the best, in that respect.

nathan's a bit of an enigma. he doesn't vocalise what he wants very often. he kind of just serves. i think nathan, in 9319, kind of accepts that he won't have what he wants. so it's not important to bring it up. i've mentioned that he's kind of the embodiment of selflessness in 9319 - he's a guy that continually has to make sacrifices - sacrifices comfort and stability, just in efforts to steer the world onto a better path. to steer wade onto a better path. just - he knows what's best isn't always going to be what's best for him.

he's a bit like peter in that way.

i think wade kind of always wanted nathan to stop giving so much. okay - not necessarily when it came to what was going on between the two of them in the bedroom, but - when it came to the world. nathan gave too much. so much, that wade could never have all of him. because nathan was giving to the whole world, too.

i think wade wanted nathan to know that it could work both ways. and that he didn't have to give so much. he could lay back and receive, too. but they never got there, i guess. because wade was still too greedy and wanted to ask everything of nathan too. and i think it's something wade feels guilty about. that he's selfish. that - actually, wade and nathan's relationship fell apart because, actually, wade asked for too much. he was too greedy.

peter is such a lovely creature, actually, because he took wade wilson, the most selfish man on earth, who exclusively received - to learn all the joys of giving. of selflessness. of putting someone else's needs above his own.

i think it stands to reason that peter can also do the same with nathan summers, notorious giver. i don't think peter is resigned to being a bottom exclusively, in any dynamic he's in. he is a self-proclaimed switch.

and personally, i think nathan would be down. if just a little (pleasantly) surprised. i think nathan might not be quite as impenetrable as wade had given him credit for. and hoy.. what a be-yoing! moment that would be for one wade wilson.

[feith-rikya]

All these characters are from an RPG campaign called; Gehenna's Gates, set in the world of Vampire The Masquerade.

Here are some characters from the campaign! In order, we have:

O'Connel: a Nosferatu tech expert, found himself in a difficult situation after his clan decided to abandon London. However, Danya was invited to join their circle to help manage the leaks and, through a deal, became a valuable collaborator. Despite being known for his short temper, temper and constant sulking, everyone had developed a special affection for him. His death left a deep and irreplaceable void in the hearts of the coven.

Alastor VanHelsing: A Dampyr thinking he is human, who hates vampires but doesn't know he works for them as an Alastor...and has memory and identity problems and thinks "Alastor" it's his name and not a title. Van isn't the brighter star in the sky, but sure as hell can fight. Loyal and honorable to a fault, even if it would risk his life in the process.

Samuel Sharabi: Ravnos, antitribu and Archbishop. A cheeky asshole with no respect for anything anyone probably not even himself. The only thing he cares for is making the clan Ravnos stronger. bringing it under one leadership, in hopes it wouldn't go extinct. For the rest, he lives his life to satisfy his beastly instincts, he lost a hand and a leg for it. It didn't teach him much. He is cleverer than he lets on, and Danya finds him quite fun.

Naya the Fifth Finger: Former member of the Black Hand and belonging to the mysterious clan of the snakes of light, apathetic, emotionless and with a very violent past, he binds to Nate, with whom he establishes a very close relationship.

[terrainofheartfelt]

liz, I'd like some adorable dair hcs, please and thank you 💛

it would be my pleasure, my dear 💛💛💛

dan proposes with an empty box, because he knows that blair is a control freak and wearing jewelry forever that she didn't pick herself freaks her out. people who don't know them very well will side-eye the story but anyone who actually knows these two weirdos thinks it's really sweet

they spend every Sunday morning having coffee and croissants in bed and doing the Sunday crossword together. or, they try to beat each other to answering each clue

slightly related, they are banned from van der humphrey scrabble games, because they get too competitive and too horny to play with others

in a comedy of errors, Nate finds out Blair's pregnant before Dan does (he's out of town on a book tour, Blair finds out while he away and is wigging) and then Nate has to pretend that Everything Is Cool even though he's a literal human golden retriever and is just so happy for them. he keeps it a secret though. when they tell the rest of the gang he's like "FIRST! I knew first! I knew the entire time!"

in any universe I hold in my head, they live in Paris for at least one year, possibly more.

once in an interview, Dan discloses that Rosemary's Baby is his and his wife's "Valentine's Movie" and the internet is like "????????"

in his late 20s, Dan starts getting ocular migraines while trying to read and write and brushes them off, so Blair is the one who kicks his ass all the way to the optometrist. He's fine, he just needs glasses. (blair thinks they're really, really hot)

on their first anniverasry (paper) they each give the other their preserved Nenette ticket stub, because they tried to throw it away, but just couldn't. saps. Blair frames hers and Dan hangs it in his home office. Dan puts his in a custom shadow box that sits on Blair's desk at work.

Once, in a dedication or social media caption, Dan calls her “The Ingrid to my Humphrey, the Waldorf to my Statler, the Harry to my Sally.” the biggest issue she takes with that is "I am Meg Ryan. Always."

speaking of social media, every time Dan and Blair post photos of themselves or sappy things of each other, Jenny leaves the same comment: gross.

(obviously at this point they're all cool with each other but Jenny is a little sister and also loves a bit)

sometimes Blair will like and/or quote tweet thirst tweets about Dan because she loves to cause problems.

Red wine makes Blair Bonkers Horny and far enough along into their relationship Dan learns to just roll with it and prepare himself mentally.

I discussed this at length before in dms with nads @mysteriesofloves which is that Blair has a system of pet names for Dan. *keira knightley as elizabeth bennet darcy voice* kitten for every day, my love for Sundays, and bunny, but only on very special occasions

and finally, to bring it back to the wedding rings, both are engraved. Blair chooses for Dan's band: bread, light, & shadow (based off of Neruda) and Dan chooses for Blair's: still days & hurricanes (based of von Radics)

[egojock]

❛ fucking hit me already. ❜ ( rue )

darker vibes prompt ( accepting! )

she thinks so fucking lowly of him, understandably so, and the goading sound of her voice has the desired reaction. his hackles are raised, tongue prodding at the inside of his cheek with irritation. when he put his hands on maddy, it'd been because she was so comfortable airing truths he himself wasn't comfortable with, emasculating and humiliating him. there was no excuse for his actions, his immutable rage, but nate resorted to violence in specific situations -- mainly when he was being provoked or taunted about his sexuality. at times, he can't help but be impulsive and reactive, but nate erred on the side of careful calculation. being in rue's presence unnerves him. addicts were manipulative and charismatic, because that's how they get their fix. at this point in his life, the manipulation felt like a gentle breeze blowing on his face and the concept of putting his hands on rue seemed so laughable when he's seen her walk into door facings or struggle to stay upright. "i know you like to self-destruct in any way possible, but do you think i was born yesterday?" he questions, letting out a derisive snort as he folds his arms against his chest to meet rue with a measured look. nate would characterize rue the way people would most addicts, as unreliable and impulsive, but he knows that despite her incessant substance abuse that she's got her wits about her. enough for nate to be suspicious and wonder what the play was here. despite the tension and animosity, he didn't hate rue. he just didn't like to deal with wild cards. she was difficult, unapologetically obtrusive and not as malleable as other girls in his life. "don't tell me fezco's hiding around the corner ready to bludgeon me with another fucking smirnoff bottle." he doesn't understand their relationship, how fezco's simultaneously holding her back in life but trying to protect her from the big bad nate jacobs. he was literally a drug-dealing gangster with a heart of gold, and somehow more trustworthy in her eyes. maybe if nothing else, another head injury could bring him some much needed perspective. his defensive posture falters and he brings a tired up to scrub over his face, brows pinched. he'll level with her. "look, i've kind of had a long day, so can you give me something more to work with or find some new and exciting way to destroy your body that doesn't come with consequences for me personally?"

[parvuls]

obligatory 6am episode thoughts (and MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF TED LASSO SPOILERS)

so far it's ep2 > ep1 > ep3 imo. this episode was basically the start of various plotlines but didn't have any big moments for any of them, so it's a little 🤷

ngl, hated zava with a passion and all of his scenes were cringe and boring to me. we already went over the dick star player arc in season 1 with jamie, and zava purposely has less redeeming moments (because he doesn't have a three-season story ahead of him). this plot could only be interesting if it leads to a break in format or character development: ted yelling and giving up on a player / rebecca firing him despite the wins because she cares about the team / west ham drama.

I was SO FOND of colin and michael in this episode!!! they were sweet but not over the top and those moments were literally so far removed from the rest of colin's scenes in the ep, which just stresses how long colin has been hiding this. really liked michael coming to sam's restaurant and their collaborative cover story, because I'm pretty tired of gay relationship drama being one dude angry that the other one is "ashamed" of him. framing the media as their enemy and not each other is a good start.

speaking of which: trent. big sigh. could SO see that plot coming from all of the interviews mentioning trent as both a good and bad presence in richmond. idk if he'd actually out colin, because it'd be hard to come back from that in the eyes of the audience, but there's definitely drama coming and SOMEONE is going to either out colin or threaten him with it, leading to him coming out himself. could be rupert, and that'd be the start of nate realizing he's gone too far. either way that's one plotline I'm hella excited for.

that being said, if michael ends up outing then, I'm 🤡

I simply do not know what to make of tish's predictions. rebecca being upside down and drenched is foreshadowing the amsterdam episode, and whoever saves her (probably ted) would be the knight/shite. but being a mother? obviously not biologically, since hannah explicitly said it's no longer an option. so... tedbecca future???? I'm not even a shipper, I honestly can't see who else she could adopt. rupert's daughter somehow? idefk

jamie was my fave this episode, followed closely by roy. thank god for that bromance, and all of jamie's sudden vocabulary moments were laughing out loud funny. praying for a shot of him reading a dictionary and explaining his sudden word knowledge 😂 am Not Amused at the scene by the bar where keeley looks at them both, but we shall see. I'm actually kinda here for a jamie/shandy thing? their vibes sort of fit lmao. also YES to sam and his chef falling in love. let the man have some happiness and normalcy!

the ted/sassy ongoing hints confuse me, and their purpose escapes me even three seasons later. remind us ted can fuck? I don't feel like it's an endgame thing.

I'm not touching the jake thing with a ten feet pole, jfc. jake seems like a nice guy in theory, but going out with your patient/marriage counselor + not telling your co-parent that you're bringing a new man into your kid's life? no. michelle is on thin ice with me.

[variousqueerthings]

okok i do wanna think about structure and ted lasso, real quick (or not, we'll see) (edit, it was not quick) (edit, okay we'll make a separate post for hypothetical s4) (edit, I have no idea if there are mistakes in this, but fuckit we post!)

I really liked the ending overall (I have some things I disagree with, mainly that nate would want to be kitman again and his relationship with jade, but I will get more into nate on this post!) (edit, I will get more into nate's ending in the s4 post, however other nate stuff is here)

I keep feeling confused about why it was 3 and not 4 seasons, I am charlie day meme about it all -- several characters could've done with more space overall, especially nate, sam, and keeley

so I'm thinking about the 4-season structure

SEASON ONE: introductions + set-up for some of the major storylines. we know rebecca and rupert, we know ted's panic attacks (but not, yet, his family backstory), we know jamie a little better, we know that nate's been bullied but has an opportunity now to change his fortunes, we know that keeley's been floating around and is trying to find her purpose + she and roy are something or other, we know roy's going to retire, so there'll be something about that + a few other things, such as potential narrative development with sam

* SEASON TWO: roy and keeley's relationship continues to develop + they're both on the journey of figuring out who they are individually (which may clash with finding out who they are together), jamie needs to find his way back to the team, we get more about sam and his ideals + the struggle with politics in football, especially through being Nigerian, so focus on exploitation and effects of colonialism on a young Black man playing for an english football team, we discover that ted's father killed himself and he isn't a fan of therapy, nate's newfound power clashes with nobody really dealing with the harassment he faced in the past and so he turns to rupert to get what he considers real power, rebecca genuinely wants the team to succeed off the back of relegation which changes the overall focus, but with the success of the win on a playing level, comes the fallout of personal relationships *deep breath in*

* SEASON THREE: here could be the continued delving into those personal relationships, including times when one needs to cut off a relationship (whether professional or personal or both) and times to remember who matters to you and who you'll be there for, with the episodes ranging between 30-40mins max (except for sunflowers, you can stay at that length) -

a lot of below is similar to what does happen, but with an understanding that they're structured differently, particularly with regards to the ending (which being a hypothetical s3of4 rather than a final season, is filled with uncertainty, rather than wrapped up)

keeley: roy and keeley split up (in second ep not first) because roy is convinced it won't work out, and it affects keeley's start in a new business. as a consequence of not feeling confident on her own two feet + very hurt about roy, she gets into hot water because she hires a past friend and gets romantically involved with her boss. the season ends for her with the friendship, romantic, and business-relationship being ended, but with one character she didn't think was in her corner, sticking up for her -- barbara. rebecca offers some start-up money for a smaller version of the company at the end. her need to have shandy around and unhealthy relationship with jack last the whole season. at the end of it her boyfriend split up with her, and similarly two people she thought she could rely on (her friend and her new gf) made things worse for her, but she discovers who she can rely on, and makes a commitment to being in control of her company and not putting others' needs ahead of her own. the end of season 3 is her bringing the proposal for a women's team to rebecca, but there's another season to come...

nate: we follow nate at west ham as a trainer. as he starts to doubt rupert's intentions and realises that his newfound power has not, in fact, given him confidence, he begins to change his training methods from bullying to taking in some of ted's ways of buoying the team. he dates jade who's suddenly giving him the time of day, but it doesn't work out because he realises that she was never all that nice to him and part of a wider group of people that he let dictate his worth (including his father). he leaves both the team (rupert) and jade, with an expectation that while he doesn't know how he'll get around to it, he will start valuing himself more. this can end on his making amends with will with the locker-room scene, and returning home to his old bedroom, unsure of what will happen in his life now, but at least out of a bad place. rupert bad-mouths him to the press and without nate knowing, this upsets the richmond team and ted especially

sam: sam's narrative with the restaurant and his political narrative start to become more intertwined, like they do on the show, but on a larger scale and slower -- this includes edwin akufo sabotaging his career several times and his hitting an overall breaking point, at which point his dad comes into the picture. again, this builds up slower + are connected, so him not playing for nigeria is tied emotionally to the restaurant being trashed. the team continuously supports him in getting people to the restaurant and start openly backing up his political presence online, perhaps urging other footballers to do the same. they help to rebuild and reopen his restaurant, getting him tons of customers. for now his future is very uncertain, but he knows the others are there for him. near the end of the season he and rebecca have a conversation as well, finally clearing the air between them, so that the breakup isn't just something coming from her side, but sam has some opinion about it and say in how it goes down as well

roy's and jamie's storylines still revolve around their bonding and unpacking Stuff together, and perhaps includes talking about keeley and where they both went wrong + jamie's nerves about eventually playing manchester city again and his dad being there (he finds out at the end of the season that he's in rehab). keeley, roy, and jamie celebrate the mancity win together/we still have them coming to his mother's place, but it's at the end of the season. overall pretty similar, including roy's commitment to go to therapy, but spread out more

rebecca's storyline is still about letting go of wanting to "beat" rupert and ends with bex coming to her, and we have a conversation between them, although we don't know what they'll do yet. I want her to continuously not like zava, despite having hired him, and feel like there's something more she ought to do for the team. at the end she does consider selling, but then final scene is keeley putting the women's team proposal in front of her

ted's storyline is still him floundering between his commitments to the team and wanting to go home, and while he does get it together, it ends with him telling rebecca that at the end of the football season he'll be going home (or it ends on the cliffhanger and s4 begins with them knowing he'll be going home at the end of the season)

colin's storyline still ends with him kissing his boyfriend, except it's at the end of the mancity match, and perhaps there is some focus on this/perhaps it'll affect s4 (I'm on the fence about this as it is meant to be a fantasy, but for this version, which grapples a tad more with the politics inherent in football)

trent's still there to write the book, and as a chronicler gets to still do that meta exposition, and exists even more to comment on the ways things are happening with the various characters, including doubting zava's presence as a good thing. perhaps as a callback to s1 he challenges ted more directly on his lack of passion (because he's torn and unsure), but the difference is that this time he believes in ted, where ted doesn't believe in himself. we also get an episode where he interviews various team-members, because that would be hilarious

beard is still in a rocky relationship with jane, but it's on the outs/not considered healthy. he ends up breaking up with her for good (although she's still in s4 in some capacity/he still thinks about her in s4). he misses the signs that ted isn't totally focused at first, because he's focused on jane, but he and ted briefly have a disagreement (not a falling out, more a "oh hey what's happening there") before both recommitting to the team doing well in the league at the end of the season

*

overall: the season includes putting zava into the mix, but he stays for most of the season, with people gradually realising (both the team, and the commentators) that he's not actually good for the team as it's been developing thus far, and there's an overarching message of knowing who's got your back (both in the specifics of the storylines, as well as on the pitch). zava perhaps leaves on his own, or ted starts a conversation about getting rid of him that he overrides as if it was his idea, and there's no overall hard feelings. we also meet his wife at some point

the rest of the team get closer throughout, with similar kinds of narratives as what we saw, particularly around colin and isaac

the 3rd season is only half of the league and ends on the mancity match, mirroring the mancity match in s1, with jamie this time scoring that goal and it being a different kind of victory to when he made the extra pass + it overall goes down pretty much the same

the focus of s3 is about various personal relationships that either need to be left behind or re-committed to, whilst ted's preparing for his exit. it sets up the final pieces for s4 to play out

three bigger subjects that are also set up to have more focus in the final season are: racism and homophobia in football, and equal access for women in football -- perhaps we start on a women's match, or with some discussion about the england vs germany win, so there's a sense that this will matter going forwards, and continuously there's reference to women's football in some way

structural changes: a lot of the second half of the show doesn't happen (partially, yet), with several of the earlier season things developing much slower, with nathan leaving west ham + keeley and jack breaking up + shandy blowing up + sunflowers all coming later + zava arrives later and stays for longer, edwin akufo arrives earlier and is centred around sam's storyline, and the restaurant destruction occurs later, along with sunflowers "ultimate football" doesn't begin to happen until late in the season, with the understanding that it will be developed more in s4

where s1 was a structural setup for s2, s3 is an emotional setup for s4

the biggest difference overall is that people leave the season mostly uncertain of their future, except for trent who's kind of a narrator now, and ted. ted knows he'll be going home. everybody else is focused on rebuilding in s4 -- keeley's business version 2.0. having less money behind it but a dedicated team, nate no longer with west ham but back home with his parents, sam's restaurant reopening but unsure of how he'll achieve his dream of being on the Nigerian team, rebecca considering selling the club but suddenly handed a brand new opportunity, roy starting therapy with shannon (as s3 ends for him already), jamie discovering his dad has gone to rehab and not knowing what to make of that information. there's a feeling that certain relationships (jamie, keeley, roy // nate and the team // keeley and rebecca // ted and beard // rebecca and ted) have been pushed aside more or less for things that didn't matter as much, and next season they'll try to make it right

what doesn't happen in this season: nate doesn't return officially to the team in any capacity (yet), he doesn't have an interaction with beard or the rest of the team (yet), he doesn't date jade for that long and we don't have as many scenes of them vs what's happening with him at west ham -- the akufo league isn't proposed, we don't see jamie texting his dad (yet) or reconnecting with him, the last episode doesn't happen (since it's a finale episode)

the mancity episode is still the second-to-last, but the last one has a focus on setting up s4, including nate going to live with his family + apologising to will, sam's restaurant having a grand reopening that everyone comes to, ted telling rebecca he's leaving (or about to tell her), roy starting therapy, bex coming to rebecca about rupert, with the most one-to-one parts being keeley's revamped business and the women's football team proposal shot

what I'm not sure about: michelle's relationship with their therapist -- I didn't really want to see it, but since it was there, I kind of wish it had felt more organic in some way and not just "oh and then they don't get on"

jamie and roy fighting for keeley's attention -- wasn't a big fan of it, especially as it was tacked onto the final episode of the show and so felt a bit out of nowhere, but if it was with an understanding that they both have work to do, then yeah maybe? but also I don't think it's so interesting, so I'd leave it on the cutting room floor, especially for this season

[geekynightowl1997]

Okay, so I finished re-watching Leverage Season 1... well minus The Second David Job, but I remember alot of that episode.(just to make sure I have everything semi-correct. Obviously my goal is to have ALL correct- but I am aware that I miss things.)

So- let's talk Leverage and Leverage Redemption. Let's discuss the characters, cons, and just- everything shall we?

As many of you know- my favorites hand down are Eliot, Hardison, and Parker. There's just something safe and comforting about their friendship/relationship. There is just something easy going about the three. From the very beginning- they worked together effortlessly. They connected well with each other and you don't see that a lot. Each of them had their part to play and they didn't overstep the boundaries of each other. Like Hardison didn't play the hitter or thief- that wasn't his job. Eliot didn't play the thief or hacker nor did Parker play the hitter or hacker. And if they did- isn't wasn't to take control; it was because they were in a jam and desperate to get the team out safely.

Now- Nate, Sophie, and Harry are my next favorite. Nate was definitely the drunk dad. However- he wasn't dangerous and Sophie did an excellent job of keeping him in line. Would he make snide remarks at times? Absolutely. Did he push to hard at times? Yes he did. But if you think about it- it was good for this ragtag team. Nate knew what they could do- what he wanted to know was- what was their breaking point. How far could he push- before they all had enough? (I'm pretty they each had their moments- but like Eliot said once; "Nobody tells me to walk away. I decide that.") Nate was a good mastermind. Sophie is definitely the annoyed/exasperated mom. Not only does she have to cut off unnecessary arguments between the children- but she has to deal with a drunk father. She's good with people. Knowing what they want and how to give it to them. That's her job to know people. It's how she's survived so long. Harry is definitely the struggling uncle. This man doesn't know where he fully stands. All he knows is; he's done a lot of bad in this world- and he wants to be redeemed. What better way then to be a good bad guy. If Nate see's the world in black and white- than Harry see's it in shades of grey with blobs of color.

Now- I don't know how you all feel- BUT I'm not a huge fan of Breanna. For me- she's like that annoying cousin that follows the older cousins. She's just too much all at once. I understand that she wants to prove herself- but she just felt like she took over the whole room. It wasn't that she didn't have anything to bring to the table- it's just... she was a lot. ( I don't know how else to describe it.)

Over all- I love Leverage and I'm on the fence about Leverage Redemption. I love how they all work together. How it's literally a family.

I love how they don't know how to work together- but still seem flawless at working together. I love that easy going banter between the OT3. How Eliot allows Parker to poke, prode, and put hats on him. How Parker feels safe around Eliot. I love how Hardison and Eliot respect Parker. Sure she might be crazy- but only they can say that. Only Eliot can say that Parker has something wrong with her. That Hardison understands Parker? I love that! The way Hardison isn't really that upset with Eliot whenever he does geek speak and Eliot is all huffy. Or how Hardison does his own way of poking and proving Eliot. (I love these three your honor! I do.)

I love how Eliot isn't afraid to call Nate out. How Nate isn't afraid to push... as long as he puts himself in the same position. I love how they aren't huge fans of Sophie's acting- but are impressed with her acting. I love how they get so use to each other.

I love how they don't mind ribbing each other! The ribbing doesn't even change when Harry and Breanna join. They all do it. It's what makes them a family.

The cons are just as flawless as the characters. There are certain episodes that resonates with me. Just like there are episodes that resonate with you all. And they just give me hope that everything will be okay. The Low Low Low Price Job and The Belly of the Beast Job are the two that affect me the most. Though they aren't my favorites. Still, they pull it off and it gives me hope. Makes me feel all fuzzy and warm. Their criminals- and their looking out for the little guy. Watching the team actually care about the clients helps humanize them.

Lastly- I love their quips. The quotes they say. I can't tell you how many times I quote the team. Between things like; "No stabbing." To "You think she dresses like a nun for no reason?" "It's Parker." To "Not Lucille! Get that look outta your eye." To "Parker made me do it." To "You do trust me, don't you Eliot?" To the more heartfelt ones like: "We are all addicts! We are addicted to our past!" And "Depends on the torture, depends on the man." And "I'm not crazy!" (I can't think of any Harry and Breanna quotes at the moment.)

Watching this show- it makes me feel like I'm part of the team. It makes me feel like I'm apart of the family. And I so want to be.

Finally, Leverage is the literal definition of the saying; "Blood of the covenant is strong than the water of the womb."

If anybody ever asks me for a found family recommendation: Leverage is it!

Thoughts anyone?

[rook-specter]

why Nathaniel Adams/Keizou Amano is unintentionally good BPD representation

fuck you, he's BPD coded and I'm tired of pretending that he's not. (also I may have BPD as well so yeah)

also, pwBPD stands for people with Borderline Personality Disorder, and that's the phrase I'm gonna use for most of this

Impulsive actions

So basically, he trains himself to be just like Moximous, and I see a lot of impulsiveness in this. also he does this shit:

-Training nonstop

-stopping his plans for the first yo-kai watch

-breaking relationships

there's some other actions that I'm not bothered to remember, but these are the ones I remember vividly. in case you do not know, impulsivity is very common within pwBPD.

while things like consuming drugs and unsafe sexual intercourse arent included in the above list (i mean, ofc, this game is for kids and he's fucking 11), damaging positive relationships is part of this impulsiveness.

Unstable Relationships/Splitting

as said before, Nathaniel had seen breaking his positive relationships with others, notably with Hovernyan/Fuyunyan due to not being able to protect his weaker friend.

basically, Kin and Gin inspirited a couple of bullies that beat up his friend, causing his friend to lash out at him. and then he discovered moximous mask and broke his positive friendships to cope and also to try to be like that superhero.

also, he lashes out at Hovernyan for using the Wicked Stone to bring his grandson Nate into the past to help him, along with lashing out at his grandson. (he didn't know that nate was his grandson at the time but I don't care) and he also lashes out a lot later, such as their second meeting

these actions can be similar to splitting (a BPD-exclusive term in which pwBPD tend to characterize themselves, other people, and situations in black and white), and it may contribute to relationships not being stable. it is possible for splitting episodes to be triggered from minor events or inconveniences (as said about Hovernyan and Nate above)

Intense Emotions/Mood Swings

like I said before, Nathaniel starts off as being angry and irratable, as he lashes out at Nate for just being there. he can also go from calm to angry in just a second, which is something I noticed while watching let's plays of Yo-Kai Watch 2 instead of playing it myself.

One of the symptoms of BPD is that a person rapidly changes their emotions and even often.

he does not only have intense anger, but as well as intense sadness, fear, and obsession, and because of his stress and obsession, he feels more intensely than others do.

Perfectionism

you look at me in the eyes and tell me that Nathaniel isn't a perfectionist. you tell me without shitting yourself.

he feels himself to be bad on the inside, so he tries to prove himself to the world that he can become like the moximous hero Moximous Mask.

in many instances, pwBPD have this kind of perfectionist mindset.

Favorite Person

in the past, that one friend seemed to be Nathaniel's favorite person (or fp for short). and after the story of YKW2, it seems to be fuyunyan. as I said before, his friend lashed out at him for not protecting him, but that impacted him a lot since he broke his positive friendships after that, and declared to not have friends.

now you may be asking, "how would this tie to him having an fp?"

in some cases, pwBPD may have their fp abandon them, which causes them to spiral into nothing, which is much like what happened to Nathaniel.

and later on, Hovernyan becomes his new fp. and when Hovernyan gets hurt, well... let's just say that doesn't go well for him.

------------------------------------

conclusion:

because of how his behavior connects to BPD symptoms listed above (there might be more that i might have missed), he is BPD coded, which is fucking hilarious because this is really good BPD representation even though I don't think that was Level-5's intention.

[katriniac]

IkeRev OC Bio

Meet Nate - the 3 of Hearts in the Red Army

Like many of the officers, the 3 of Hearts is an inherited rank. Unlike most of the Red Army, however, he doesn't come from a wealthy background. His family fell on hard times two generations ago. Now all his pay goes to support his widowed mother, who struggles to make ends meet.

Due to the unruly reputation of his hereditary rank, he gets all the "trouble makers" reassigned to his unit whether he likes it or not.

New recruits shake in their boots when lining up for training because they've all heard stories of Nate's "yakuza-like" aura and how merciless he can be, just like the rumored organized crime ring his grandfather had been the head of. Whether the tales of their gangster background are true or not, most give him a wide berth and try to stay on his good side.

Nate works his soldiers hard, and he works even harder on himself. He's constantly exercising, training, and lifting. He has never felt like he fit in at the Red Army, with all their noble lineage and displays of wealth. It makes sense that his closest friends would be Zero and Kyle. The Queen of Hearts considers his presence a blight on the noble rank, but most of the pressure on Nate's shoulders comes from himself. He just wants to keep his mom healthy and make her proud of him.

His favorite story about his grandfather, the previous 3 of Hearts, is how he became a master at unarmed combat. When the family was practically destitute, he decided to sell his saber. It had been one of the legendary weapons in the Red Army. The proceeds from the sale meant his daughter could get married and raise a family. “But that left his grandfather without a weapon,” argued the other officers. To which he replied, "No it doesn't. I've got these," raising his fists proudly. From that day onward, he devoted himself to every martial arts practice he could find. No one could even come close when it came to bare knuckle brawling like the 3 of Hearts. His methods were deemed uncouth and beneath an officer, but he never lost a fight.

Nate decided to keep up the tradition when he inherited the rank, partly because he didn't have the money to buy a sword, but also because he wanted to show those snooty rich brats that true strength isn't measured by who has the best weapons. He thought it a fitting tribute to his grandfather.

CHARACTER DETAILS:

Name: Nathaniel Stromm, 3 of Hearts

3 Descriptors: hard-working, protective, yakuza-like*

Nickname: Nate

Gender: Male

Race/Birthplace/Planet: Human, Cradle

Current Home: Cradle

Timeline/Era/Year: Ikemen Revolution game setting

Age: 29

Build: Muscular

Height: 6'

Hair: Dark Indigo Blue, short on the sides, longer on top. Slicked back while on duty, spiked up when off duty.

Eyes: Brown

Profession: Officer in the Red Army

Romantic Relationship History: one serious relationship at age 18-19, one-off dates every now and then but nothing serious.

Family: mother

Friends: Zero, Kyle

Enemy: Societal pressure? Unfair rumors? Poverty? Honestly, he doesn't have any people coming for him; people don't fuck around with Nate.

Education: high school, cadet training

Things They’ve Done: Has never let a new recruit flunk training

Goals They Have: Avoid bringing disgrace on his family. Doesn't really have any lofty ambitions; he's just living day to day.

What Motivates Them: providing for his mom and making her proud

Favorite Entertainment (music, books, pastimes, etc.) : running, boxing, soccer, football, hiking, swimming. Really likes autumn and watching the leaves fall in a strong breeze.

Favorite Food/Beverage: protein shakes (it's not that he thinks they are particularly delicious but he appreciates the efficiency and complete nutrition). Loves any of his mom's home-cooked meals.

Personality: quiet, intense, fair, non-judgmental, protective.

* Nate does not "act" tough; that's just the vibe he gives off unconsciously.

He doesn't realize that he has a fierce aura emanating from him when he's concentrating, competing, or giving instructions. His extreme energy output makes him seem angry when actually he's just intensely focused on the activity. The result of this is intimidating his soldiers into submission without even knowing he's doing it. He just thinks they're incredibly obedient and hard-working. He's totally oblivious to the fact that he has this effect on people.

The only people who can see what's happening are Kyle and Zero, and neither of them say anything because they assume Nate's method is intentional. But they are the only officers who understand he isn't scary or perpetually angry.

What Does He Fear: his mom feeling lonely or ostracized

What He Doesn't Know (yet) : his grandfather actually was involved with overseas mafia

Little-known fact: Nate and Lancelot share the same great-grandparents on their mother's side, the Quorays. Their grandpas (Solomon "Sal" and Andrew Quoray) were brothers, meaning their mothers (Julia and Nanette) were first cousins, making Nate and Lancelot second cousins. Nanette Quoray married a Kingsley and made both prestigious families very proud, while Julia Quoray married Mitch Stromm who was a nobody in her grandfather's eyes. But Julia's father liked the guy and all that mattered was that they loved one another. The Kingsleys were the line to the rank/office of the King of Hearts. The Quorays were the line to the rank/office of the 3 of Hearts. Both have noble blood, their lineage going several generations back to the founding of Cradle.

[solivar]

From the Annals of Unnatural Causes

Since today is Dr. Kieran Terrance Corben's birthday, I thought I would repost this snippet from 2012: Best Ever/While You Were Sleeping. Rated M for consensual sexy funtimes and supernatural violence, though not at the same time.

The evening clerk at the B&B caught his eye as they walked in, still slightly damp and smelling of sea salt, ylang-ylang, and sandalwood, exuding a certain unmistakable aura of freshly pampered. He nodded and, twenty minutes later, once they'd had the chance to change out of the clothes they'd been wearing all day and into something slouchier and softer (horrifying tie-dyed pants and that ancient, shapeless Grateful Dead tee-shirt for Terry, a pair of his surviving University of Washington sweatpants and an equally shapeless plain black tee for himself), a knock on the door heralded the arrival of a room service caddy containing a bottle of nicely chilled sparkling cider, two glasses, a tiny box of rose-scented cloth petals, and a platter of assorted sugary delights, which the clerk passed to him with a whispered, “Good luck!”

Nate was not entirely certain exactly how everyone, including apparently random strangers and hotel employees, knew he was utterly hopeless at the relationship starting thing, but it was beginning to become rather alarming.

Terry, bless his black little heart, was making things easy. Instead of turning on all the lights in their little semi-suite, he had purred in his own ineffable way over the gas fireplace and turned it on, snuggling down on the loveseat in front of it and laying his head on the cushioned back, his eyes closed. He looked about as boneless as it was possible for a healthy adult human not suffering from some atrocious degenerative spinal condition to be and didn't even open his eyes when Nate breezed past behind him, tray in hand, and set it on the coffee table. He did respond to the popping of the cork, however, lifting his head and blinking in the firelight, as Nate poured two champagne flutes of non-alcohol and handed him one.

“Well now,” Terry grinned and took a tiny sip, and grinned some more. “Living dangerously tonight, Dr. Harada.”

“The circumstances seemed to warrant it.” Nate grinned back and seated himself in one of the nicely padded chairs set directly off the side of the loveseat, extending his glass for a toast. “To your birthday, Dr. Corben. May you see many, many more.”

Terry made their glasses go ting and drank to his own honor. “What goodies did they bring us to help celebrate this most natal of days?”

“...Was that a pun? That was a pun. I should have thought of that first.” Nate laid out the provender: the tiny box of very delicious and very expensive Belgian chocolates, the plate of assorted fun-sized fruit tarts that he knew from past experience that Terry loved, the plate of cheese and grapes and little savory-sweet flatbreads. “And you should drink some more. Right now.”

“Right now?” Terry offered his half-empty glass for a refill and no meaningful argument. 

“Yes. Massage is wonderfully relaxing but you're going to be intensely thirsty in about an hour.” He provided the refill and a plate of goodies. “And fortunately there's supposed to be water in the suite fridge.” 

“But no sylphs clad in diaphanous tunics to feed me grapes and chocolates. Alas.” He made a comedically tragic face and fed himself one of each, sequentially, the tragedy transforming into bliss. “Wow.”

“I'm sorry about the sylphs, they wanted twice the going union rate to come out in diaphanous anything in October.” Nate considered the platter, found his stomach entirely too knotted up to cooperate with casual fine dining, and settled back in his chair. “So...enjoying your birthday?”

“Best. Birthday. Ever.” Terry bit into another chocolate and made a face that could be legitimately described as orgasmic.

“Really? Ever? Bear in mind that I've been to your family's vacation house and I'm finding that a little hard to believe.” 

“Oh, my friend. You have no idea. My parents' idea of a fun and relaxing birthday celebration is dinner at a three-star restaurant or possibly some fustily exclusive country club – black tie all the way, of course – and attended by somewhere between fifteen and fifty of their closest friends and associates, followed by a stimulating evening of cultural enrichment at the symphony or the opera or some gala art show opening. I mean, I enjoy the occasional art gallery or museum, but I usually prefer not to be one of the objects on display. And there is literally no such thing as a non-tragic opera. I don't care what anyone says. Aida. On my birthday. Really.” He contemplated the chocolate held daintily between his thumb and forefinger. “Whereas this is one of the best things I have ever voluntarily put into my mouth, and it comes following a day full of enjoyable things undertaken with a person that I actually know and like.”

“There are comedic operas,” Nate felt compelled to point out and desperately hoped he wasn't blushing as visibly as he thought. And the glass wasn't really big enough to hide behind, dammit.

“No. No, there are not.” Terry sat up a little straighter and grinned easily at him. “And this is one of the best days ever. And best things. Seriously, you have to taste this. We're talking angel kisses and kitten love, here.”

“I got those for you – “

“And I'm choosing to share them. Open your mouth, Nate.”

They were, Nate had to admit, exceptionally good chocolates. Terry's blue eyes did that little dancing with glee thing they did at his own theobromine-fueled O-face. “And I swear that they get worse every year. Much, much worse now that...” He paused, took a breath, and managed a half-smile. “Now that I'm single again. I think my Mom managed to find an unmarried Vanderbilt relation to throw at me, she was so crushed that I didn't want to come to Scotland with them for my birthday. Or possibly an unmarried countess.”

Nate managed not to choke on his mouthful of bliss. “...Why a Vanderbilt?”

“My Mom has always wanted to be able to say that she's related to the Vanderbilts. I have no idea why, it's just a thing with her.” Terry shook his head mournfully. “But I suppose that's still slightly better than having the lifelong ambition to be related to the Kennedys. But! I am not going to digress into a diatribe about the insanity of my parents today. Today I am going to revel in the glory that is.”

“I guess I'm sort of lucky that way – my grandparents always let me pick what I wanted to do on my birthday.” Nate firmly decided that he was not going to make any sort of inquiries about potential Vanderbilt in-laws, no sir and no way, and drained his glass, wishing that its contents might have been a tiny bit more alcoholic. 

“Not your Dad?” Terry handed him a plate of grapes and chocolate.

“Sometimes. He was home with me during the school year so he had to travel on business quite a lot during the summer months – he always called, at least. And sent plenty of cool presents.” He grinned, remembering the more than a little squashed boxes of summer festival sweets and painted carp kites that had arrived over the years. “I had a few cousins close to my own age that visited Granny Hanako and Grandpa Toshiaki for a couple weeks every summer, so we usually ended up having fun.”

“That sounds nice – most of our cousins were a lot older than us, and we traveled so much we were almost never in the same place for more than a birthday or two. It was usually just Rob and Mal and I when it came to friends.” Terry looked him dead in the eye with an air of utter seriousness. “And, believe it or not, my brothers were insufferable goobers when they were kids. Age has definitely improved them.”

Nate managed not to choke to death on a grape. “Goobers.”

“That is what I said.”

“Goobers.”

“It is a finely descriptive and entirely accurate term. They started out the worst brothers anyone could possibly want to have – Rob was was six different kinds of popular everywhere we went and was embarrassed to admit that he was related to us for most of our childhood and Mal was the sort of annoying kid brother that invariably found the older kids on base stealing his underwear and running it up the school flagpole. Then, at some point after we all went to high school or college, everyone became a couple orders of magnitude more tolerable.” Terry sipped meditatively at his cider.

“'We looked around and suddenly we were all grown up'.”

“Yeah, like that. More or less.” Terry's eyes danced again. “Though I'm pretty sure Mal still gets his unders run up the flagpole on occasion.”

Nate snickered helplessly and Terry laughed and for a time they lapsed into a comfortable sort of silence – Nate's stomach unknotted enough to actually enjoy what he was putting into it. “So, what's the best birthday present you've ever gotten? Before today that is.”

Terry accepted a refilled glass and, after a meditative moment, announced, “Haggis.”

“....Seriously?”

“Okay, not the haggis itself. That was pretty nasty and required half a bottle of HP sauce just to get past the texture and I'm pretty sure it's the reason that I can't stand the taste of liver to this day.” He sat down his plate, the better to talk with at least one hand. “Making it, however, was my first real lesson in cooking – my grandmother's housekeeper, Mrs. Carmody, caught me lurking around the kitchen being surly and antisocial and put me to work. Granny wanted a Burns supper and didn't feel like waiting until January to get it – and so I found myself sitting in front of a cutting board covered in freshly boiled sheep innards that I was allowed to chop to my heart's content and serve to my brothers without even a whiskey chaser to soften the blow.” He grinned in fond reminiscence. “Next week she taught me how to make poor man's beef Wellington. I think I'm always going to miss that woman.”

“I know you've said that you were a terrible thirteen year old before, but I seriously cannot imagine you being surly. Or antisocial for that matter.” Nate shook his head.

“Well. Thirteen was sort of peak terrible teens for me.” Terry's smile went crooked again. “You?”

“I'm reasonably certain that I was the most mopily wangst-driven seventeen year old on the face of the Earth.”

“Seventeen has never treated anyone well but, in this case, I was asking about your favorite birthday present.”

“Oh!” Nate physically repressed the urge to facepalm. “Oh, man. I had so many nice things as a kid – it was just my Dad and I for the longest time and he spoiled me absolutely rotten when it came to toys that I wanted. But the very best, most what the fuck thing? A beer stein.”

Terry's eyebrow migrated toward his hairline. “You don't drink.”

“No, I do not. I have never drunk, not since my doctors told my Dad I would likely be sensitive to sulfates my whole life.” Nate refilled his own glass for emphasis. “Nonetheless, on my twenty-first birthday, Dad was in Germany on business and sent me a beer stein to celebrate that particular socio-cultural milestone. And not just any beer stein, mind you – it wasn't one of those cheap touristy things. It's made from hardened waxed leather, banded in horn and polished wood, and covered in this really fancy decorative carved leather work. Yggdrasil and Nidhogg. Oh, and it's the length of my freaking arm, so I'm assuming that it was probably a beer stein intended for use by a frost giant.” 

“I so need to meet your father one day.” Terry accepted a refill of his own. “Where is it? I'm pretty sure I would have noticed a frost giant beer stein in your apartment.”

“Granny Hanako uses it for extra large sized flower arrangements.”

“I need to actually meet your grandmother one day, too. I know!” Terry smiled a bright eyed smile of impending trauma. “We'll go to Oregon for your birthday this year. Clear you calendar, Dr. Harada.”

“I'm pretty sure she's already half in love with you, so a meeting couldn't hurt. If I put in for it now, I might even get the time off.” Nate smiled wryly. “Be warned, my grandmother will probably try to hook you up with one of my unmarried cousins. She apparently doesn't have enough grandchildren yet.”

“She can't possibly be more rabidly baby-bit than my own mother, I assure you. One granddaughter and suddenly she can hear her biological clock ticking again. Of course,” He had that dance in his eyes again. “You could always introduce me as your boyfriend, which would – “

Fifteen minutes later, once he'd stopped coughing all the cider out of his lungs with the aid of a few solid whacks and some therapeutic rubbing between the shoulder blades, Nate managed to croak out, “Well, yeah. Okay, that might work as a means of discouraging the cousin-throwing.”

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, well, nearly kill you.” Terry looked quite sincerely contrite which, for some reason, made Nate feel utterly wretched. 

“Not your fault. It's – It just surprised me. I – “ Nate stopped, realized he had no idea how he wanted to start that sentence, much less finish it, and soldiered on. “We're a pair, aren't we? Your folks want you to hurry up and get over that whole tragically widowered at a traumatically young age thing  and get on with the remarrying and making more grandchildren. And my folks want any option that renders me something other than a creepy recluse whose only close friends are corpses and case files.”

“Amazing, isn't it, how what you want to do with your life never seems to enter into it, even when you're all grown up?” There was a more than trace element of bitterness in Terry's voice.

“Astonishing.” Nate reached for the bottle with hands that were considerably less steady than they'd been a few minutes before, and poured for them both with exaggerated care. “Do you...want to be married again?” 

Terry accepted the glass but didn't drink, turning it slowly between his hands as he found sudden, passionate interest in the patterns of firelight on the carpet. “Someday. With the right person.”

“Ah.” Nate took a quick breath and found that not entirely sufficient to dispel the sudden, strangling tightness in his chest. 

“Which isn't to say 'never' but – “ Terry flashed him one of those quick, fantastically bright smiles. “Nate? Are you okay?”

“Fine. I'm fine. Really.” From somewhere, he dredged up the artful approximation of a smile.

Terry was Not Going For It, and Nate felt a little twinge of alarm in his gut joining the torturous cardiac contortions making themselves known in his chest. “What about you?” Softly.

Oh please don't DO that. Don't ASK that. Too late, he'd asked. “You've probably noticed that I suck with an audible sucking sound at that whole 'having a relationship' thing.”

“I don't know – I think we've got a pretty good relationship going on right here.” Terry inclined a single questioning brow and Nate wanted to sink through the floor.

“Friends. I'm good at being friends. Not so great at everything else.” He put down his glass and stood, rubbing his suddenly damp palms on the legs of his sweats. “In fact, I'm really epically terrible at everything else. I'm fairly sure that Rin's kids are going to be the ones picking out my nursing home.”

All the nervous energy suddenly bubbling out of where it had lain in wait for just this moment forced his legs to move, one stride, then two, and a few heartbeats later he was looking out the doors opening on the balcony, which itself overlooked the garden, at the moment a basically amorphous glob of wind-blown foliage in the night. Terry stayed where he was, which didn't help at all because Nate could feel the weight of his gaze, that intensely earnest blue-eyed look that belonged to a man who helped people cope with their emotional fuckedupedness for a living.

Whatever made me think this was a good idea? “Have I ever told you about my last...relationship-shaped...thing?” Nate heard the words emerging from his mouth with the sort of dull, disconnected horror he usually associated with dreams of walking into work naked.

“A little bit.” Oh so calmly neutral and Nate wondered, briefly, if throwing himself off the balcony would be enough to kill him or just hurt really badly. They probably weren't high enough up to make it totally painless unless he landed just right on his head. “Mostly that it ended really badly. Also that your ex is a colossal dick, which is a sentiment I can fully empathize with. I've got some exes that could only be improved via gravity slingshot into the photosphere of the sun.”

“Yeah...that would more or less describe it.” With massive reluctance, he turned around, but couldn't make himself pace back, leaning against the decorative door molding in case his legs decided to get all wobbly on him, which was looking like a distinct and unfortunate possibility. “I mean, don't get me wrong. It's not like that with everyone I used to – used to date or see or however you want to put it. I'm still friends with both the people I went out with in high school – Christmas cards and everything! But those weren't what you'd call relationship relationships, either. We were just doing the stuff that teenagers do, movies and pizza and necking in the backseat of somebody's first car and it wasn't really...serious emotional involvement. We liked each other but it wasn't...”

He absolutely could not say what he was thinking and look at Terry at the same time. He took a shaky breath and looked back out the window. “Like I said, I do friends really well. Sometimes even friends with benefits if it's the right friend. But I'm – I can't – “

“Nate.” Softly.

“I'm really bad at making other people happy. At even really knowing what would make someone happy. Long-term happy, I mean. Short term happy is easy – that's just basic paying attention and contingency planning. The rest? That's...beyond me. Totally beyond me, even when I try and I've really tried, I promise you that. But...trying isn't enough. It's just not.” He closed his eyes against the prickle of completely and utterly embarrassing tears and he was not going to start crying in front of Terry on his freaking birthday. “We...do have a good relationship going on here. A wonderful relationship. You're the best...the best friend I've had in years. And I...don't want to do anything...I don't want to say anything that would screw that up.”

“What makes you think you could?” Again, so very softly.

“Because I always do. Always. I say something or I do something – or I don't say something or don't do something – and that's it. Over. And I don't – want this to be over.” Darwin's fucking finches, he was, in fact, almost in tears. A head-first dive at the hydrangea bushes was starting to look better and better.

“Well, that's good.” Terry had obviously taken some stealthy like ninja classes at some point in his education because he very simply materialized right there next to him, leaning against the locked balcony doors in a manner that suggested he knew exactly what Nate was thinking just then and believed an intervention might be in order. Hell, he might – Terry was scarily good at that sort of thing. “Because I don't particularly want this to be over, either. Why might it be over, Nate?”

“Because I think I'm in love with you. Seriously, completely, emotionally involved with love for you and you – you're – my friend.” Was that his out loud voice? It was. He had said that out loud. “You're my friend and I'm in love with you and I always screw up being in love, I can't do it right, and can we just pretend I never said anything? Please? Please? Let's just...stay friends and be friends because I don't want this to end.”

Far, far too out loud for that, in all likelihood, and he buried his face in his hand before he could complete his self-actualized utter and abject humiliation by crying on top of everything else. He almost jumped out of his skin when Terry's hand closed around his wrist and pulled his hand down and he was totally crying right there in front of him and Terry was, he could not help but notice, smiling. And his eyes were dancing. 

“Nate, what if I told you that I don't want to be just friends?”

Nate took a shocked, gulped-in breath that came back out as something close to, “Oh?”

Not really a question, per se, or any other sort of sensible response because that was all it took for Terry to step in close and pull him closer and he tasted like chocolate and cider and Nate's mind temporarily shut down in self-defense as his back came to rest against the nearest wall. When his brain finished rebooting he was mildly astonished to discover that he wasn't experiencing a post traumatic relationship-related hallucination, that Terry's hands were really resting on his hips and Terry's soft, warm lips were really gently brushing his own, and his own hands were clinging helplessly to Terry's shoulders. When they parted, it was with an audible little moan of dismay on his own part and a sigh on Terry's. He swayed away from the wall at the gentle tug on his hips and into the warmth of Terry's body, burying his still-wet face against the junction of his neck and shoulder, Terry's hand against the small of his back, stroking his hair.

“In my personal experience,” Terry said quietly, “being friends isn't fundamentally incompatible with being lovers. Pretty much the opposite, in fact. I've never loved someone I haven't liked first. And I like you. I've liked you since we first met, that weekend when we both volunteered to stay at the office and you brought Cards Against Humanity to keep everybody entertained. I started falling in love with you every time you got fire-spitting pissed or cried with someone's family or snarked at some asshole defense attorney or reporter. So many people lose themselves to the work we do – let it peel chunks of their humanity away and go numb because caring hurts too much. But you...don't do that. You care. You feel. And I love you. I love you for that. I love you for you. And I freely confess that I want to find the asshole who made you think that you weren't enough, weren't worthy of being loved just for who you are, and psychoanalyze the living holy fuck out of him.”

Nate laughed, helplessly, holding on tight, the sound coming out suspiciously like a sob, and if anything Terry held him closer. 

“So no,” Terry's hand climbed up between his shoulder blades. “This isn't going to be over. Not because of this. I've wanted this for so damned long now...”

Nate took a deep, shaky breath and looked up just as Terry was looking down and it only took a bit more effort to finish the motion and bring their lips together again, a little less soft this time, a little less gentle. Terry's hand tangled tighter in his hair and his tongue brushed against the curve of his lower lip and Nate whimpered helplessly and let it slip inside. Chocolate and cider, stronger than before, and under that Terry himself; sandalwood and almond oil and musk filled up his head and sent his heart pounding off at a thousand miles an hour. A sudden, convulsive movement on somebody's part brought their bodies even closer together – which Nate hadn't thought physically possible – and made it absolutely, blindingly clear that he wasn't alone in the blood flowing swiftly condition.

“Terry,” He gasped, when the kiss finally broke and their hips ground together again and it was all he could do to keep his knees steady against the rush of pleasure this provoked, “we should probably get away from the window.”

“...Good idea.”

Nate wasn't quite sure who actually started the backwards motion away from the window and toward the fireplace and its cosy little sitting area – there was too much going on with hands and mouths and the head-spinning rush of having someone touching him with genuine desire again. Terry's hands were under his shirt, fingers spread wide across his skin, and then his shirt was over his head and the loveseat was behind his knees and they were tangled together, Terry's weight on his lap pressing him into the cushions and both their bodies together. Terry started working his way south, becoming distracted en route with the apparently irresistible allure of his neck and chest and collarbones and the delight to be found in licking and sucking and kissing and covering all of the above in a necklace of bites and Nate took advantage long enough to rid him of his own shirt, placing all that ink adorning Terry's shoulders at the tips of his fingers, and the tip of his tongue, happy to explore. A surprisingly back-arching, breath-catching, desperate writhing and moaning exploration, to be sure, Terry half trying to get away and half trying to get even closer, as though those tattoos were the most severely erogenous zone ever applied to any living creature on the face of the Earth, just waiting for human contact to set them on fire. 

“Nate,” It was easily the most desperate thing he'd ever heard in his whole life, Terry's voice at that moment, and the way their bodies ground together and then everything went a little sideways.

The rush of it came over him so suddenly he almost didn't have a chance to yelp a warning, his head going light and prickles of warmth running all the way up his body and his own spine bending at a rather acute angle. Terry blinked down at him, half startled and half dazed with lust, and he found himself blushing furiously.

“Sorry,” He croaked, fighting the urge to sink through the floor again. “It's been a long time. A really long time. And you're just so...so...Yeah.”

“Oh, Nate. Don't be sorry. I'm an idiot.” Terry kissed him, gently, and climbed off, helping lever him to his feet.

“No you're not. Stop it. Shut up.” He slithered out of the rest of his clothes and used the first available piece of clothing – that ancient Grateful Dead tee, so very appropriate – to sponge off a bit. “Get on the bed.”

The look on his face was not a single conclusive expression so much as a collision of emotional reactions, none of which resulted in an immediate response to what Nate felt was an extremely reasonable request. With a sigh, he grabbed the loosely knotted tie of Terry's horrific pants, pulled it loose and them down in a single smooth motion. He wasn't wearing underwear. Which explained a few things, actually, and he blushed gorgeously, and Nate took him firmly in hand on the way to the very nice King-sized bed with the mountain of pillows and goose down coverlets. Those tattoos and their erotic possibilities really required a more thorough and comprehensive examination, especially since just running his fingers over them  caused Terry to shudder and whimper and beg for more. Especially the ones wrapped in serpentine coils around the base of his spine and the delicious indentation of his navel and slender curve of his hips and the long muscles of his thighs. Milk white skin and a dusting of pale freckles and fine coppery hair, looped with jet ink, and he wanted to touch it all, kiss him, lick him, make those hungry noises of pleasure come out of his mouth. And that was, he was willing to admit very quietly to himself, something he was good at. One of Terry's hands found its way into his hair, gripping almost painfully tight and that was wonderful, almost as wonderful as the taste and smell of him, salty and musky and so very good. He couldn't keep his hips still for even a minute, between Nate's mouth and his hands spread over his hips and over his thighs, stroking and sliding and finding all the places that made those long, shuddering moans flow up his throat. The sound he made at the end was the sweetest thing Nate had heard in years, a helpless little mewl of ecstasy, and then his back arched and his hips tensed and Nate drank him down, milking him until there was nothing left to taste.

Terry's eyes fluttered open again as he settled down in the pillows next to him, running a hand through the fine dusting of coppery hair on his chest, a fingertip over the curling spiral of ink ringing one pebbly nipple. His eyes nearly rolled back in his head again and he reached up to capture that hand, holding it flat in place while he caught his breath. Nate leaned up and kissed him long and slow, nibbling a lip, sucking languorously on his tongue, and when they parted, Terry whispered, “You don't have any idea what you do to me, do you?”

“I think I can guess.” Nate smiled wryly and lay back in the pillows, tangling sweat-soaked red hair in his fingers, curly and imminently pettable.

Terry arched his head into the stroking and rolled onto his side, nuzzling gently at Nate's neck again, which apparently hadn't gotten quite enough attention or visible marks of possession just yet. “I feel that I have somehow fallen down on my half the deal here...”

“It's your birthday.” Nate pointed out, and kissed him again – and abruptly found himself pinned down in the pillows as Terry rolled a long leg over him and hoisted himself somewhat unsteadily astride.

“True, it is. And I freely confess, I've always been the sort to indulge in giving myself presents.” He rocked back and Nate arched helplessly himself as his body responded to the heat and friction and sweet sweatiness of it all, already more than half-stirred, and came all the way back to life. “Do we have any lube?”

Nate swallowed with some difficulty around the constriction of his throat and the sounds trying to crawl out of it occasioned by the teasing circular motions of Terry's goddamned wanton hips, croaking out, “Beside the table.”

Terry crawled to the edge and fished around in the little toiletries bag that Nate had almost decided not to bring coming back with a bottle and a little foil wrapped square and a gentle, nipping kiss. “Thank all the gods you didn't get that self-warming crap. It's awful.”

He poured out a generous dollop and massaged it between his hands, smiling the sort of lazy cat smile that made Nate acutely nervous in most situations but in this one seemed strangely exciting instead. “Close your eyes.”

He did so and was rewarded a moment later by the sensation of Terry's warm, slick hand cupping him, fingertips painting teasing circles in water soluble lubricants and it was all he could do not to whimper. Foil tore. Terry made a low sound in the back of his own throat and, an instant later, his grip shifted, sliding Nate's length from tip to root, once, twice, and his eyes flew open in shock as Terry's position shifted higher. He rocked down, slowly, and Nate's hips bucked as he was enveloped in smooth, slick heat, an inarticulate moan escaping him at the sensation and the sight of Terry taking him in, hands braced on his own thighs, back arched with the pleasure traveling all the way up his spine. Terry laughed, breathless, at the look on his face and rocked his hips and then all chance of actually saying or doing anything went utterly away and all he could do was hold on, catching hold of the curve of his hips and rocking up to meet him, their bodies moving together in a rhythm as old as blood pulsing and breath rushing and it was very simply too good, too right, too perfect. Every nerve in his body sang with how perfect it was, to please and be pleasured by this man, to love him and be loved by him, to know he'd give every drop of his blood and his every breath just to see that smile and those dancing blue eyes, hear that voice and hold that body, knowing it was the house a beautiful soul lived in. His head went white with it and his body went light and he let himself fall into it without a fight, let those wanton noises come out of his mouth, drank Terry's moans, and allowed the pleasure to drag him down into a warm and flawless darkness.

He wasn't sure how long he floated there in the tenebrous warmth inside his own mind, his own body, but it was still dark in the room when he woke, firelight casting shadows on the walls, Terry's warm weight pillowed against him, still trembling and breathing raggedly. He wrapped his arms around his lover's body, ran a hand through the sweat painting his back, curled into the curvature of his arms. 

Terry lifted his head and kissed him long and slow and sweetly. “Best. Ever.”

***

Kieran had, on the occasion of their first time sleeping together, expected Nate to look younger at rest than he did while awake. He had the face and build for it – a solid foot across the line that separated beautiful from handsome, as long and lean and wiry as a man a good ten years his junior. To his very great surprise, that had not at all been the case. The tension never seemed to leave the line of his neck and spine and shoulders, not even at rest – he seemed, even then, to be bracing himself, tightening up to take a hit, or else picking himself up from one. Even at his most bonelessly relaxed, curled up next to him by the warm glow of the firepit with the Orinids falling just beyond the shadow of the trees overhead, he wasn't genuinely at peace.

He was now.

Beneath his hand, Nate's back was one smooth line of bone and muscle and almost impossibly soft skin, still gently scented with massage oil and sea salt and more recently with sweat. His head lay pillowed on Kieran's shoulder, one long arm laying sleepily possessive across his stomach, their legs welded together from hip to knee. His hair was damp with sweat and his lashes were sooty shadows above his still gently flushed cheeks and his mouth was full and lush and kiss-bitten and through all the places they were still in contact, Kieran could feel the echoes of pleasure still ringing through all the places in his mind and soul that he usually kept locked up tight. Pleasure and more than pleasure. Exultation. His heart was singing with it.

And not alone. He pressed a kiss to Nate's temple and shivered slightly as, even asleep, he responded, squeezing the last microns of space from between their bodies, his arm curling up over his chest, sending a frisson of pleasure that echoed through them both, from the roots of his hair to the tips of his toes. A slow stroke the length of his spine made those ridiculously long lashes flutter, brought a noise past his lips that was half moan and half plea and more erotic than either sound alone. 

Beautiful, the thought crawled through Kieran's head, along with shared and tangled and mutual ecstasy still humming in every nerve and inch of skin, the heart-song and heart fullness and gentle wash and curl of emotion twining together. So beautiful precious wonderful mine. My own. Belonging to me.

He had not thought – had never really allowed himself to think – that he would ever be this happy again. And yet here he was, with his beloved and his heart's-ease laying warm and safe in his arms. Nate's breathing deepened as he fell further into sleep. Rain drummed slow and steady against the roof, a breath of cool air finding its way through the seams of the window casements. Against the far wall, the shadows cast by the fireplace joined and parted and joined again.

He wasn't quite certain how long he slept but when he woke it was immediately and all at once – without the slightest trace of disorientation and with every nerve ringing like the strings of a harp struck by a two year old. 

Something ghosted across the edges of his awareness, something swift and subtle, flirting with the warded boundary he'd built around the perimeter of the building when they'd checked in earlier. Powdered silver and salt and more than a trace of his own blood, that not even the rain could wash away – not that it was raining now. The only sound from outside was the wind, rushing through the trees with a roar not unlike a stream in full flood.

...witchthing...

It curled through him, through his mind and soul, like the first breath of winter, ran needles of ice deep into his gut. Next to him, Nate stirred in his sleep, responding to his own sudden tension, and he bent and soothed him back down with a kiss and a comforting murmur and a quiet inner caress. Slowly, carefully, he eased out from under Nate's arm, rested his head on his own warm pillow and drew the covers up over him – even with the fireplace, the room was cool and damp now, though how much of that was psychic chill and how much was the weather blowing through he couldn't quite tell. He found the clothes they'd discarded earlier, dressed swiftly and silently, opening the inner ward he'd forged around the suite itself barely a sliver and closed it tight behind him as he went.

Outside, the wind nearly clawed the loggia door out of his hand, storm-front strong and breath-stealingly cold, the roar of it in the trees easily drowning out any other natural sounds. But not the unnatural ones. The scrape of claws across densely patterned defensive energies, looking for some weakness it could make or exploit in the weave. Inarticulate gutturals and hissed sibilants, filled with rage and frustration and no small amount of pain. Morpheus was certain that he'd hurt it badly and the confirmation gave him a coldly happy grin as he started off across the vast expanse of beautifully manicured lawn in the direction of the equally manicured garden. He felt it sense him in motion, felt it catch his scent – and more, Nate's essence mingled with his own in the most intimate of ways, the quarry it had always been hunting. Felt it peel away from the house and begin limp-loping after him, low to the ground and more invisible than not, but far, far less sleek and strong and fast than it had been. Felt it gather itself in long, leaping strides and launch itself at his back, forelimbs stretching into scythes, smooth, serpentine head splitting into a muzzle lined in razor-fine needles – and slam face-first into the already active first line of his personal wards, the defenses it had bypassed practically without effort weeks before, filaments of power flaring into eye-searing visibility brighter than a stroke of lightning. It limned the creature's shifting-twisting body as it writhed in the net of the wards' power, seeking the shape that would let it escape, or at least break the circuit of punishing energies connecting them.

Kieran called them back down before the thing could find it, pulling the net of his protections in – not quite skin-close but near to it. The creature landed in an ungraceful, mostly-visible sprawl in the muddy, leaf-strewn lawn, form flickering as it struggled to hide itself again. He shook a gently chastising finger at it. “Now. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, and a thousand generations of my ancestors will rise from the grave specifically to kick my ass for embarrassing them that way.”

Clever witchthing, It keened at him, form losing visible definition even as he watched, springing away to try to circle him again, hoping to shake his perception. Should have eaten your heart when I had it in my claws. 

“Yes, you probably should have.” He replied, mock-commiserative. “But since you didn't...? Well, sucks to be you.”

He broke for the garden at a sprint, skidding on mud and wet grass and leaves as he went, the creature howling rage and hate and hunger at a pitch inaudible to human ears – human minds were another story – and leaping after him in ground-eating strides. He hit the entrance to the boxwood hedge before it could reach him and slid into the maze with his feet barely under him, skinning his palm on the field stone pylon marking the entrance as he grabbed it and took the corner at a dead run. Behind him, expensively cultivated and embellished greenery snapped and tore and he couldn't help wincing a bit because it was a very nice garden and he genuinely felt somewhat bad about wrecking it – but he rather suspected that the house was not really an ideal alternative venue for this sort of thing. His Eye snapped open and the path he'd traced earlier in argent and crimson and white leapt out at him, a shimmering thread in the otherwise absolute darkness. He held the wards tight around him, masking his presence as best he could at the cost of losing his finer sense of where the creature might be at any given moment – it hardly mattered, since it would chase him down no matter what, in order to get at what it really wanted.

Clever witchthing, the thing's soundless voice curled across the surface of his mind. Feeding the halfthing its magic. Cleverclever. Will like eating your heart.

He clamped down hard on the urge to taunt back – it was too close, would be on him too fast, for that to have the desired effect. 

Smell the halfthing onyouinyou, the sensation that accompanied those words churned his stomach in spite of himself, grotesque and vile and obscene, knew you would have liked helping with him, witchthing. Too bad.

The creature slammed into him from above, claws briefly finding purchase in his shoulder before the wards could engage, flung away before they could bite deep or cause serious harm, the recoil of energies slamming him into the ground and the creature through a few layers of hedge. He fought for air and staggered back to his feet – the center of the maze was only a few more turns away – the creature howling and thrashing and coiling in on itself in agony.

The center of the maze, the hotel's brochure had informed him on the way in from the city, was marked by a spectacular display of seasonal flowers. It really was impressive when he'd visited earlier, all Japanese anemone and monkshood and helenium and autumn crocuses, arranged in an inwardly curling spiral of color and perfume. The wind hadn't done it any favors and neither had the rain and neither were his feet as he ran across it, coming to a halt at the innermost point of the whorl of vegetation, the creature crashing through the final border of the hedge only a few breaths behind. He stopped, breathed, and his wards flowed out around him again, forcing the creature back a pace or two, its form flickering briefly more visible as it snapped and growled, its eyes lambent in the dark.

Witchthing, a purr. Should have stayed inside.

Overhead, the wind finished shredding the last of the cloud cover. The moon, full as it had been on the night of his birth, spilled her radiance across the vault of the heavens, bright enough that it washed the color out of even the stars, and cast hundreds, thousands of tiny, sharp-edged shadows across the parterre stones of the garden. Cast his own shadow across the creature, lending its shape a form and solidity that it otherwise lacked.

“Well – one of us should have.”

The creature shrieked, a hideous psychic ululation, as the shadows pierced it, wrapped around its throat and limbs in skeins of barbed darkness to bind it in place, deny it freedom of movement and shape, spears carved of night's own substance driving through its hide and setting its blood flowing. 

“I'm really thinking that was you.”

The creature's struggles slowly ceased, its shrieks dying away to desperate whines of distress, its eyes rolling in its head.

Witchthing witchthing –

Then, he heard it, beneath the creature's own voice.

Kagemasuta.

“Guilty as charged.” He smiled thinly. “Hellcaller.”

A hiss – a double hiss, one from the creature and one from the thing riding its senses, trying to force it to keep acting even as it died. Finally, finally died.

“I know you can see me. I know you can hear me.” Kieran replied, softly. “So I strongly advise you to listen to me now. He is under my protection. If you raise your hand against him again, I will find you and I will end you. And nothing – nothing you can do, not the Serpent, nothing in this world or beyond it – will save you.”

He spoke the word that released the shadows bound into his own flesh, the ward structure that held them quiet and quiescent folding in upon itself, and they reared out of him hungry. He almost felt sorry for the creature, and the human-shaped monster on the other end of it, but not for very long. It took longer, by far, to wrestle his personal darkness back under control, the sky beginning to go gray with false dawn and the creature little more than an unfortunately gooey blotch in the middle of the thoroughly wrecked hedge maze, though at least part of that could be explained away by the ferocity of the last night's storm. He did, however, make certain to scrape as many crushed flowers as he could off the bottom of his shoes, and take them off on the porch, before he padded upstairs to the room where his lover lay sleeping.

[terrainofheartfelt]

What are your insights on Georgina's relationships with Serena and Dan?

ooooh interesting and frighteningly open-ended!

it's interesting because Georgina is such a different personality from them, yeah? And I think that's the crux of the draw for her: Serena and Dan both have this compulsion to always believe and hope for the best in people, even Georgina. Like, there's a reason she and Serena became friends in the first place, right? There's a wholesomeness to the both of them that Georgina finds compelling, and I think it's both because she knows she can corrupt it, but never so much that they'll shut her out forever.

and for Serena's and Dan's sides of it...we don't really see all of what Serena and Georgina did together, but we can guess, and I think for her she was almost - set free from the idea that she didn't have to be Good with Georgie, they could be silly and self-destructive and Serena could sort of...surrender to the pain she couldn't name, but it never would be as bad or as dark as whatever Georgina was carrying. Blair is the friend who's always trying to pull her up, to keep her grades good and her mom from finding out her indiscretions but Georgina didn't ask perfection of her, and for the broken teenage girl that Serena was before the show, that had to be kind of liberating.

For Dan its similar, I think, but a little less fraught, up until Milo I suppose. With Georgina he doesn't have to be the good student or the good brother or the good son or the good boyfriend, and he can sort of....surrender to his bitchy side? Because he is a Bitch (I love him so much), which is something he has in common with Georgina, they're equals in a way for that. and in s3 Georgina is the person that he can make bad decisions with and have uncomplicated kinky fun. the sub!dan agenda begins with georgina after all. Until it becomes complicated, because he hadn't bargained for Georgina's possessive/jealous streak.

and Serena and Dan both fall out with her because Georgina crosses a line that is so egregious and nearly breaks both of them. for Serena it's the Pete trauma, and for Dan, it's Milo. but what interesting is this: Serena cuts Georgie out and means it, wants nothing to do with her and takes pains to keep her out of her life when she comes back to nyc. And after s1, she keeps on keeping her distance, Georgina and Serena never interact in any meaningful capacity after that, and they never initiate contact, it's always Blair or Chuck or Dan that brings Georgina back around for whatever reason.

But after Milo, arguably the biggest heartbreak of Dan's life, he still interfaces with Georgina directly in s5 and, of course, has a close personal relationship with her in s6. Serena, the always gracious, always forgiving Serena couldn't open the door to Georgina again. but Dan could. Dan does. and I think it mostly has to do with the spot he's put in in s5, being so grievously betrayed by Blair and Serena (at the same time!), and effectively abandoned by everyone else in his support system (Alison, Jen, Vanessa, Rufus, Nate). Georgina has already done the worst thing she could ever do to him (take his child away from him), so in his hurt, he goes with the devil he knows, and steers into the skid, leaning into the aspects of his personality that being with Georgina brings out in him, without a check this time.

going through my meta tag for that previous ask, I found a post from Ivy that says it plays into "Dan's need to belong to someone" he needs to belong to someone, and if it's Georgina, then so be it. there's something to her possessiveness of him that - in spite of himself - he cannot walk away from. And in that sense, Serena shows more strength of character than he does, because it's a marker of her personality too, wanting to belong to someone, always trying to make a home in someone else. unlike Dan, Serena knew that the person she was with Georgina is a person she never wanted to go back to. and she decided that her sense of self wasn't worth sacrificing for a home (a lesson she learned from being with dan! he looks at me like I want to believe in myself and all that).

[sciderman]

Sci, sci, sci I have a big question. HUGE. If at some point, Wade had the opportunity... If in some universe it was possible.. for him to actually BE with Cable in the way he wanted to- Would be still choose Peter, or would he leave him high and dry? I love both spideypool and cablepool but I'm curious about what would happen in your verse

GOD I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE Y

don't hit me with hypotheticals like that. do not hit me with hypotheticals like that.

OKAY. i'm going to assume this "some point" is right now. right now in the timeline. no. he's in love with peter parker. peter parker is the investment he's making. all his eggs are in THIS particular basket. he's not going to give peter up for anything. not for anything. he's put so much work in. this is it for him. he knows this is his happily ever after, and he's not going to step backwards from it.

honestly - even if things didn't work out with peter (for some reason, divorced entirely from nate) - i don't think wade would go back to nathan, unless there were some huge. earth-shattering. change. nate would have to rock up with a wedding ring, the world's biggest bouquet of flowers, a heartfelt poem and a coupon for 8 years of couples therapy.

he could've went back to nate after shiklah. he didn't. (he really, really wanted to.)

he could've fell back into nathan's arms during civil war. he was naked in nate's bed, for christ sake.

but he was RESOLUTE.

wade is DESPERATE to move his life forwards. and nathan has him in a timeloop. i think at some point wade realised he couldn't just keep running around in circles.

that's the thing with nathan and wade's relationship – that was their whole dynamic. wade would SWEAR it was over. that he doesn't need nathan in his life. that he's going to move onto greener pastures. and nathan slips back into his life and wade immediately presents his ass.

wade hates that about himself. god. he hates it about himself. that's why he's so in denial over being in love. because he knows he's such a simp. he's such a simp.

wade's whole thing right now is him trying not to fall into old habits - he so often thinks he's making progress, and winds up back at square one - and he so, so doesn't want that anymore. so no. i don't think he'd undo all of his progress finally moving past this just to run back into nate's arms again.

but it would, absolutely bring him solace to know that he and nathan do manage to work it out in some universe somewhere. that somewhere, out there in the timestream, he and nate made it.

i think wade would love to know that.

i think he'd probably cry.

[s-wordsmith]

The Leverage team in the first season is constantly putting personal objectives before the job. Obviously, the big ones are Parker ditching the team to rescue the orphans in The Stork Job and Sophie with the Davids in the First and Second David Jobs. But think about The Wedding Job and Sophie supposed to be getting the bride on schedule and then instead ranting about how men can't be trusted, followed by Nate derailing the ceremony he's officiating to talk about all the problems he has with marriage (directed entirely at Sophie). Think about Hardison forgetting to show up for the first part of The Mile High Job and then getting distracted talking about the game that kept him from coming. Nate being so thoroughly drunk during The Snow Job. Sophie focusing group therapy sessions on Nate in The 12-Step Job to the point of talking over the mark. People responding to things they're hearing on the comms in a way that risks their cover. Obviously the entirety of The Nigerian Job.

I love that they didn't just say they were all loners and then forget it. These are people who are used to working alone, even Nate though he worked for a company and sometimes worked (parts of) cases with Maggie. They're not used to their actions affecting anyone they care about. They're not used to having to explain their plans. Sophie in particular is used to everyone being a mark (and Parker, but there's an obvious difference between a physical act like stealing and how you relate to everybody all the time and you can put objects back).

It's why I love the First and Second David Jobs (one of the reasons): there had to come a breaking point, something to make them all reconsider how they act as a team. They needed that big wake-up call and time apart to reconsider or they would have either fractured over a dozen tiny cracks or taken longer to gel imperfectly. There's also the absolutely perfect fact that despite the recognition that they want to be a team again, what actually brings them back together is all of them acting in their own self-interest. Every. Single. One. Four thieves who planned to come back after the designated cooling-off period but couldn't personally let the job go and Nate who never planned on coming back but needed that personal satisfaction of helping the wronged.

I also love that it was Sophie, because in a way all conversation is persuasion and I think she has a really hard time drawing those lines, because she's so sweet and subtle that they took her for granted in a way, because she's the only one that was chosen. Because they forget that she's been at this longer than any of the rest of them (except maybe Parker) and is a legend in her own right and they don't know yet that she chose this when she didn't have to instead of being pushed into it by circumstances like everyone else. Because Nate in particular clearly treats her differently than the others (he makes a clear delineation between himself and the others that doesn't between him and Sophie, not just in terms of their very different relationship but in terms of the way he looks down on the rest of them for being thieves but admired her work however begrudgingly, because he feels like he knows her). They overlooked her exactly like every (other) mark has.