#that moment made me feel emotions a normal amount btw

[mjesechii]

Oh Crowley, nothing lasts forever.

[pacing-er]

The Krakoa Era Reading List Cherik Version (PART 2):

4. Reign of X

Another very long series, 14 volumes of content! Similar to Dawn of X Cherik is not the focus of this series plot. However I did like this one a lot more and it introduced some elements that I really loved. For a brief summary this series covers the events leading up to the Hellfire Gala and all factors that went into preparing for it (ft. a LOT of flexing from Magneto XD). It does also cover the Hellfire Gala itself, which was super fun.

To start with the things I loved about it, there were a lot of queer characters and couples in both major plotlines and casual representation. The Make More Mutants™ law of Krakoa always made me feel a little icked out, because of its heteronormative implications. I was surprised to see this sentiment confronted by some of the queer characters themselves:

Pretty soon after this sentiment is expressed, we are presented with several solutions to the issue of same-sex reproduction. One of which is that science is advanced enough on Krakoa to produce a child using both parents DNA regardless of their gender or genitals (or lack thereof):

Another solution presented was that there is a LOT of coupling happening on Krakoa producing babies whose parents aren't ready or willing to raise them. Like. Excessive amounts of babymaking. To the point where people have actually had to start giving out contraceptives to slow it down. These unwanted babies are left waiting to be adopted by mutants or mutant couples who want them:

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW!!!!!

Speaking of baby-making. Reign of X reintroduces several of Charles and Magnetos children who as of yet had not been mentioned in the Krakoa era. Including Legion, Onslaught, and Wanda (who shows up and dies immediately under mysterious circumstances RIP). Legion's storyline is intertwined with Nightcrawler's while they explore the darker sides of Krakoan society. Nightcrawler is hilarious and adorable in this series btw. Initially Legion is suspected by Charles to be behind the alias of the "Patchwork Man" who has been terrorizing young mutants on Krakoa.

(a moment of appreciation for how scared Charles is of Legion XD)

However after Nightcrawler is sent by Charles to confront Legion we find that this is not the case, and that it is actually Onslaught who is terrorizing Krakoa and feeding off of conflict and negative emotions. For some reason Legion decides to keep this a secret from Magneto and Charles as he and Nightcrawler work to hunt Onslaught down and stop him.

Onslaught must also be kept a secret from the rest of Krakoa, since the psychically-produced hate baby of the nations founding fathers might cause some discourse XD

Also Legion introduces us to the concept of non-physical psychic intimacy (kinda like the psychic intimacy that produced onslaught 🤔🏳️‍🌈?) which can be used by mutants who are unable to touch their partners without harming them. This psychic bond is demonstrated between a lesbian couple.

There's just. So many fun concepts introduced in this series. Most of the stuff above was in the last 2-3 volumes so it wasn't a HUGE part of the story, but a part I very much enjoyed none the less. The confrontation between onslaught and his biological parents hasn't happened yet but I desperately hope that there is a decent payoff. If not I can write one ☺️

As for how much I can recommend this comic based on Cherik-ness, I'd say it's worth a read if not just for the fact that Erik and Charles children are important parts of the story. Charles and Erik themselves don't get much character or relationship development and are just kind of managing the goings of the island like normal.

You can see my part 1 to this series under the tag #krakoa era reading list

[gettingfrilly]

Let's talk about Eddy and empathy

Okay, so. Hand-me-down Ed.

Lotta people talk about this episode. Lotta them have the take that the boomerang unleashed Eddy's repressed nurturing side. This is a very valid interpretation when you consider the abuse Eddy has endured and all the reasons he has to repress any nurture-type feelings. But here is the thing that I think. Or don't think. I don't think Eddy represses a secret nurturing side. I think it got repressed by outside forces when he was young and squishy and moldable, and now there's not really a whole lot of nurturing in there left for him to repress himself. I truly believe the intent of the episode was to show the Eds being the opposite of who they truly are. And Eddy, truly, in my opinion, is an incredibly traumatized kid with some really unfortunate learned behaviors and underdeveloped empathy muscles that just aren't gonna fully recover.

There are two episodes I wanna talk about to back up my claim.

Ah, Dueling Eds. Who doesn't like Dueling Eds? I certainly consider it one of my favorite episodes. It's a surprisingly serious episode with a genuine look at how Eddy navigates the consequences of hurting someone. That long silence in the van with Double D? His continuing insistence that he didn't do anything? Continually asking throughout the whole episode what the hell is even going on? Mwah. Chef's kiss. I've seen a few different theories for what's going on with Eddy in this episode, but I've always felt that he genuinely has no idea what he did, why everyone's acting the way they are, and is incredibly fucking frustrated by how little sense the whole situation is makes. He knows it has to do with the fishball; he even brings it up himself when he's talking about the incident with Double D later. But he doesn't understand why that was wrong. He doesn't get how something so inconsequential in his own mind could be so hurtful to Rolf, and he is either incapable of, or refuses to acknowledge, that just because it wasn't a big deal to him, doesn't mean it can't be a big deal to someone else. (We call this ~theory of mind~ btw and it's a big component of empathy.)

Another favorite of mine, Little Ed Blue. I've talked about this scene before because I love it for a lot of reasons, and one of those reasons is the insight we get into how Eddy's emotions have probably been addressed by those around him in the past. I mean, jeez, this is Ed! He's one of Eddy's most important people! A true and dear friend he's had since he was a toddler and one of the few people in the world who outwardly likes him and gets along with him. And what does he do when Ed's having a bad day? Calls him a wuss, laughs at him, invalidates his feelings, and tells him to get over himself. This is some grade fucking A asshole behavior, even for Eddy. And yet he does it easily without a shred of guilt, convinced this is the correct way to address a friend who's in the throes of misery. I mean, just look at this face.

Has Ed ever made a face like that? His feelings got fucking hurt man. (also, as a sibling, I can say that this is categorically the most Sibling moment between Eddy and Ed in the entire show.)

IMO, someone with a repressed nurturing side wouldn't be that baffled by how Rolf is reacting or be that cruel to their own best friend. This looks more like someone who genuinely has a low amount of empathy. So what's actually going on? Do I think Eddy is just some cold, uncaring asshole? Of course not! He's a traumatized 12 year old kid who's endured intense physical abuse. Cruelty was normalized for Eddy at a very young age. Why should Rolf be so upset about a fishball? It's not like Eddy beat him or something. And what's Ed got to be so miserable about? Men shouldn't act like wusses. Men are supposed to just get over it. And how could Eddy be wrong for thinking these things? It's what he was taught, after all. He learned these behaviors from his hero, after all. This is all he knows. This is what makes sense to him. It's Rolf and Ed who are being ridiculous.

That kind of stunted growth to someone's empathy isn't something so easily fixed. This is why I don't headcanon or write a more grown up Eddy as someone who learns he doesn't have to repress his nurturing side anymore; I see him as someone who's learned that nurturing and empathy are part of the whole "having friends" deal. He's learned that nurturing and empathy are what's considered normal, learned that it's what's expected of any decent human being, man or not. He's also learned, a la BPS, that you have to be a good friend to have good friends. It doesn't come naturally to him. It's gonna take a lot of hard work and growth on his part. But even if Eddy doesn't always understand why he needs to be gentler, needs to just listen, needs to offer a shoulder to cry on, that doesn't mean he won't do it for the sake of his friends. Because even if empathy ain't his strong suit, even if being empathetic is hard fucking work, he still genuinely and wholeheartedly cares about his friends and cares about doing right by them.

[analogwriting]

Childhood Crush

Chapter 14: Magnesium

Killer x gn!reader word count: 3.3k a/n: ayeo fuck kese amirite???? this isn't the chapter i was crying over btw also i definitely have this queued to post at like 2am bc i feel like that's my brand so i'm deffo passed out rn cause i open LMFAO next

Dead? He told everyone you were dead? Now you were even more confused than before. Why the hell would he say something like that? It only drove the question more - why the hell did he want you out of the picture? Is that why Eustass seemed to go off the deep end? Cause his level of recklessness did just suddenly spike out of nowhere. Was that when he received the false news? 

Your head was spinning but you had to focus on the task at hand. While you were running, you felt something land on your shoulder and you stopped. It was a bird - not any bird, but Myra’s bird. One she sent when she had urgent news. You couldn’t help but be nervous.

You untied the letter attached to its foot, opening it carefully and reading it. As the words sunk in, you started laughing. Was she fucking joking? “C’mon, My. You could’ve told me that from the beginning.” 

Dear y/n,

I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you this in person - I just didn’t know how. So, I set up a fake mission to get you to find your brother. You always seemed hesitant to leave our island - to leave Lily and I, so I figured this was the only way to get you to reunite with him. I knew you would keep putting it off, claiming that you needed to get stronger. I hope you forgive me for lying to you.

There is no flower that we need for a breakthrough - there’s nothing in Wano that we need. I just knew your brother was there and knew you were missing him. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

My sincerest apologies,

Myra.

At the very bottom was Lily’s name written as well. You were sure she just wanted to feel included. You smiled fondly at the letter. “Oh, My. I could never be mad at you.” You pulled a pen pad and pen out of your pocket, writing a quick response before sending the bird off again. Impressive it was able to find you in all this chaos, honestly.

You made sure to let her know you weren’t mad and thanked her for everything. The whole thing was just hysterical. Myra was terrible at talking about feelings of any kind. A lot of people claimed she couldn’t feel normal emotions like a normal human, but she just couldn’t express them. She was rigid and came off cold, but you knew better. She had her own way of caring.

Obviously. She arranged a whole fake mission just to reunite you with your brother. You tucked away the letter, knowing you’d probably end up just keeping it. A keepsake along with the knife. Huh, maybe you were getting sentimental. Eh, whatever.

Well, now what? You spend a considerable amount of time looking for this damn flower that didn’t exist. And your brother is probably long gone from the place that he was at. 

You suddenly felt something jump on to you from up above, yelping as you tumbled to the ground with whatever it was. After a moment of rolling around and a few scrapes with something sharp, you pinned it to the ground.

“Dive!?” Your eyes widened as you saw the small woman struggling against your grip. “Get fucking off of me!” She cried. Confusion took over your features. “Dive! It’s me!” 

“No, it can’t be! You’re dead!” She eventually stopped struggling. That’s when you noticed her lip quivering and the tears in her eyes. “Who are you and why do you have their face?” 

You stared at her for a long moment, processing. Right. Kese told all of them that you were dead. You let out a small sigh, sitting back and letting her go. “It’s me, Dive. I don’t know why Kese told everyone I died.” She sniffled, glaring at you.

“I don’t believe you.” She slowly sat up, wincing. You noticed a cut on her arm. “Here, let me tend to it.��� You reached out and she pulled away suddenly, seemingly to distrust you. You frowned. 

“Dive. I promise you. It’s me.” You tried to think of something to help your case, then you remembered. You lifted up your pant leg, showing her a clear bite mark scar. “When we met, I startled you so bad that you bit the shit out of me. I couldn’t walk right for a week.”

Dive’s eyes widened and tears started falling. “It really is you!” She threw herself into your arms as she sobbed, burying her face in your chest. You held her there, comforting her. Fuck, why did Kese do this? What the hell was his angle? 

After Dive calmed down enough, she pulled away. “So, are you coming back with us?” A soft smile spreads across your face and you nod. “Of course.” She grinned widely. “Good. Everyone is going to be so fucking happy you’re alive.”

You stood up with Dive, looking around. “I heard the captain is fighting Big Mom with that other pirate captain - we should go find them!” She pulled you down the hallway and you followed behind her. 

“Dive?” The both of you stop as you see Heat and Wire coming out of one of the many hallways that seemed to be in this maze of a place. They both tensed when they saw you. “Dive…get away from them.” You groaned, rolling your eyes. This was getting old fast. Sure, you understood why everyone was cautious but you were getting annoyed and honestly you couldn’t wait to kick some ass. Well, specifically Kese’s ass.

“No! It’s really them! The-”

“For all we know, they could be some kind of devil fruit user.”

You looked at Wire as he spoke, thinking for a moment. “Remember when we were kids? There was the snapping turtle incident? You know? The one where it bi-”

They were both over in moments, covering your mouth with their hands. “Okay! Okay!” You couldn’t help but start cackling behind their hands. They let you go, staring at you for a moment. They took you in and you sighed. “You’re making me uncomfortable,” you grumbled.

You suddenly felt them both wrap their arms around you and you yelped, almost taking a tumble to the ground, but catching yourself at the last moment. You patted their backs, keeping your own tears back. Mostly because you just missed the shit out of everyone. Besides, you knew these two for such a long time and now seeing them after being gone…

“Alright, alright,” you said, sniffling and pulling away from them. Now wasn’t the time to be sentimental - there was a wholeass war going on.

“We don’t understand…” Heat said, shaking his head. “Why would Kese tell everyone you’re dead?” Wire was just as confused. You shook your own head. “That’s what I’m going to try to figure out.” You sighed, putting your hands on your hips. You supposed you understood getting you off the ship…actually…no you fucking didn’t. Why has he been out to get you since the fucking get go?

“When the captain received that letter…” Wire frowned. You blinked. “Letter? What letter?” He looked at you. “Kese gave it to him. Apparently there was a letter sent by the lab you were at, saying that you had died on a mission. It included some newspaper clipping as well. There was a picture of you and everything.” 

Your eyes widened. A picture? How the fuck did he pull that off? Why was he going through such lengths to do such a thing? Nothing was making any fucking sense. 

“The captain went on a rampage after that,” Dive chimed in with a frown. “That’s when he ended up fighting Shanks. Shanks had tried to stop his rampage and the captain lashed out at him and…well…” She shrugged, assuming you knew the rest. You frowned, indicating that you did, in fact, know the outcome.

“Killer also seemed to change quite a bit. He wasn’t the level headed vice captain we all grew up with. Seemed to not have much care for what happened to him. It grew reckless… He kinda stopped cooking too. It was…” Heat shook his head. “Bad.”

You stood there, shocked. Bewildered. Dumbfounded. So, your guess was right. When your brother started to grow more reckless, that’s when he received the fake news. Also, you weren’t expecting to hear all this about Killer. Stopped cooking? You just couldn’t imagine it. But…you just couldn’t fucking figure out why. It was so weird, so confusing. What would Kese gain from all this?

“It’s so fucking good to see you,” Heat said with a large smile, hugging you again. You patted his back and smiled. “It’s good to see you guys too. I just wish you all didn’t think I died. That’s definitely making everything much harder.” You sighed, running a hand through your hair as you pulled away from Heat.

“Well, let’s head to wherever Tungsten is now. I saw him earlier, but at this point I’m not sure if he’s fully convinced what he saw was real - same with Killer.” Their expressions were bored into your skull. Well, Eustass’. But you knew that Killer must’ve felt the same way. You could just feel it.

Wire nods. “Follow me.” And you do. You slowly find more and more crew members on the way, all of them absolutely overjoyed to see you. Gig nearly crushed you when he picked you up, sobbing as he hugged you. You almost died for real. That would’ve been incredibly awkward - surviving death allegations only to die by affection.

The only people you were missing at this point were Killer, Bubblegum, and Pomp. And the man of the hour - Kese. Though, someone mentioned he was watching the ship. Everyone seemed to be in agreement that they weren’t going to say anything to him and just let you and Eustass deal with his ass.

Eventually, you made it to the room where Eustass was fighting Big Mom. You arrived just in time to see him summon a behemoth of some kind of a machine. Your eyes widened as you watched the scene unfold before you. You’d never really watched your brother fight before, but you knew it wasn’t to this calibur. 

“Holy fucking shit,” you mumbled. “Impressive, right?” You looked over to Heat and nodded. “Yeah. When the fuck did that happen?” He shrugged. “This is definitely a newer one, but this was the only good thing that came out of…everything that happened. Awakened his devil fruit n’ all.” Your own face darkened. You still couldn’t believe that Kese just…lied to everyone. About something of that caliber too.

You needed to see this letter. To see this…picture.

While Eustass was fighting, you started patching everyone up. The lot of you stayed out of the way and you figured there was a better way to pass the time besides just sitting and watching. The fight seemed to be almost over anyway. With the amount of yelling and big attacks happening, you knew the fight was drawing to a close. 

“Aren’t you worried, y/n? You seem rather calm about the fight right now,” Wire said. You looked at him, shaking your head. “Says the man who never shows any kind expression.” You snorted before answering his question. “I’m not worried in the slightest though. I have faith in my brother. They’ll win.” 

It wasn’t long after that that he had done just that. They won. You head over to your brother with the rest of the crew, cries and shouts to be heard. You stop next to him, kneeling down and smiling. “Good job, Tungsten.” You started to patch him up quickly. He just stared at you. “You…really are back, Bigs? It wasn’t a sick delusion earlier?” You shook your head. He let out a breathless chuckle as he seemed to process it, staring up at the ceiling.

“They’re really back, captain!” Dive chimed in. You saw as tears welled in Eustass’ eyes and he covered his face with his arm. “I can’t fucking believe it,” he mumbled in a hoarse voice. You didn’t say much, just working on patching him up. You knew he was more than likely crying, but he wasn’t about to display that kind of emotion. You let him be.

Suddenly, you heard a command come from a large dragon that came crashing from above. Was that Kaido? He was a fucking dragon? An order came to attack your brother and the other captain from the other crew. You stood up, pulling out your own blades as people began to run towards the lot of you.

“Like fucking hell I’ll let them hurt you.” 

Though, not much was able to happen before a large hand came down, grabbing Kaido and yoinking him right back out of the ceiling. You blinked, looking back at your brother who was sitting up. He looked just as confused as you, shaking his head and shrugging. “Luffy - I’m assuming.” You blinked. The Strawhat guy? Man, you really were missing a lot of important pieces of information right now, but you weren’t about to dwell on it.

It seemed everyone was distracted after that. A few people tried to come after Eustass, but you took them down with ease. You saw him stand up at the corner of your eye. “You better sit the fuck back down, Tungsten!” You turned around and glared at him and he returned the sentiment. “I’m fucking fine - chill out!”

“You just took a fuckin’ beating. You don’t need to be standing!” You marched back over to him, letting the others worry about what stragglers tried to attack. 

“But I won!”

“Well, that’s not what I fucking said is it?”

“What the fuck are you getting on about?”

“I’m here to patch you up, no matter the damage. Now just accept my generosity before I let you bleed out!”

“Why are you fucking yelling at me?!”

“I’m not yelling!”

Just like that - the two of you are back to your old ways of arguing. To anyone else but the crew, it probably looked like yet another fight was about to break out, but to your crew members, they couldn’t have been happier to see the sight before their eyes. They all had smiles on their faces and some of them were even laughing about it. “Finds out y/n is alive and the first thing they do is argue. They’re really related,” you heard Wire muse.

“Why the hell are you mad at me!” You shouted, drowning out background noise.

“I’m not mad - I’m just shocked!”

“Well-”

“Well what? What could you possibly have to say now? More yelling? You’ve done enough of that!”

“I’ve got two years’ worth of scoldings to catch up on!”

“What the fuck does that mean!”

“It means-”

“Alright.” A third party interjects as you suddenly feel yourself being lifted off the ground. “Killer!” you shouted, immediately beginning to squirm. Eustass just laughed at you. “Ha! Serves you right for yelling for no reason!”

“Just ‘cause ass is in your name don’t mean you gotta act like one!” you shout from over Killer’s shoulder as he carries you away from your brother.

“Oh my fucking god - there are two of them,” you hear a voice say. Your eyes land on Trafalgar Law who looks absolutely horrified at the scene before him. You flip him off. “Mind ya business, asshole.” 

“Real threatening coming from the person being lugged around like a sack of potatoes.”

“Why you fuckin- Killer let me at him!” You start struggling only to feel his grip on you tighten and you immediately give up.

“Absolutely not.” 

He does, however, finally put you down once there’s distance in between you and your brother. You dust yourself off and straighten yourself out with a sigh before folding your arms. You looked at Killer with a small glare. “I was just trying to help,” you grumbled. 

Then you heard it. You fucking heard what haunted you from your encounter in the snow. You tensed as the laugh rang through the air and your head snapped up, looking around for that deranged swordsman.

It fucking hit you like a fucking freight train.

Your eyes widened as you slowly looked at Killer, whose shoulders were shaking along with the haunting laughter. “Killi?” Your voice was soft as you slowly walked towards him. He stepped back and you paused for a moment. You looked over to your brother whose attention had also been grabbed by the sound of Killer’s new haunting laughter. It seemed to reverberate in a way that stuck with you.

It was hollow and emotionless. Not like the genuine laughter that it used to be. This was not the laugh you had fallen in love with. It was a twisted ghost of something you once enjoyed.

“Killer, what happened?” Before really thinking, you outstretched your arm towards his helmet but he quickly grabbed your arm - which happened to be the bandaged one and you hissed softly, pulling your arm away. He paused in his own movements as well.

His own hand reached out and took your arm gently, looking at your bandages. “Did I do this?” You looked at him, confused. Wait…was that shot in the dark theory you had true? You assumed he was just affected by whatever that swordsman was infected with. Was Killer and that swordsman the same person?

“No? It was some crazy swordsman in-”

“I did this…” You could hear the realization in his voice as it also hit you, but you’re still in denial. There was no way they were the same person. The dead look in his eyes. The look of bloodlust and just…

“Killer, no-”

“I did.” He ripped off his helmet and you gasped - mostly just out of shock from his sudden movements. You looked up at him with wide eyes. The bandages were gone, yes. But that smile, that haunting, empty smile stretched across his face. It looked absolutely painful. You reached your hands up towards his face and he pulled back, that damn cackle ringing out from him.

You caught his face in your hands anyway, brushing his hair out of his face to get a whole view of him. “What did they do to you?” Your voice was soft as you looked up at him. You watched as he cackled, the smile and the noise not matching the pure sadness his eyes were portraying. You saw the tears forming in his eyes. He was clearly in pain. Surely it wasn’t comfortable to have your face stretched and contorted in such a way permanently.

There had to be something someone could do about this.

Before you could say much more, Killer pulls away, putting his helmet back on his head. Eustass joins the two of you and you look at him. “What the fuck happened?” Your brother blinks as the blame of your conversation was pointed at him. He just holds up his hands in a surrender-like way.

“It wasn’t his fault, y/n…” You look back at Killer. “I’ll…explain later.” You stare at him for a moment before looking at your brother who also has a dark expression on his face. You nod, looking back at Killer. “Fine. I’ll let it be - for now.” “We have something to take care of anyway.” The two of them nod, knowing exactly what, or who you are referring to.

[jamieedlund]

Loved the answer and art you left! Pretty sweet. Do you have any animal headcanons? Like animals they like or dislike? Looking forward to that Aaravos thesis btw!

⚠WARNING!⚠

Another long answer with comics so strap in, sit down, get some popcorn and enjoy.

pst not related to the question but they can talk about anything and this genuinely brings a smile to my face how Aaravos can just easily carry Callum like that ok --

First of all, thank you - I feel blessed since I actually really enjoy working on asks like this. It’s a good excuse for me to draw them together outside of my thesis. But also this ask has been the only thing I've worked on for the past 4 days... So i really hope you enjoy it because I'm a long long way from finishing my thesis---

When it comes to their relationship, “animal headcanons” probably wouldn’t effect much of the dynamic so I haven’t thought about it much until now for this specific question asdfghjklkl — anything that happens during this ask just kinda exists in my head as I go so fair warning: I am not responsible for any of my brainrot nor is any of this actually canon as far as I know of🤣😂🙏

—And because I’m me this ask gets 13982398290 ugly doodles attached to it

Author's extra note: For the sake of everyone involve, Callum will speak in black letters and white bubbles; Aaravos will speak in white letters and black squiggly bubbles. There's also my narrations sometimes but I think it's pretty easy to tell when it's me speaking ❤. Okay let's go!!!

Callum likes to act weak in front of Aaravos and pretends like he's bad at most things. I think he secretly just wants to be pampered.

And now- for the extra extra brain rot probably relating to animals but also is here because I feel like this is very on brand for the both of them. Enjoy~

Again, this is not canon but it would be hilarious if it’s true, I didn’t bother looking up about these monkeys that’s how much I despise ss4. But if Ray’s pet is just a baby right now that means she’s raising a 100lbs death machine and Cally made the right call to dip with Aaravos. This idea came from a video I watched about some family keeping a chimp as a pet and it literally murdered them all.

Author's note #2: I will always acknowledge that there IS anger and contempt within Aaravos. No amount of sunshine and possitive energy can possibly recover him from those traumas - but this can be navigate in the best way possible when you consider the fact that he is also a known genius, both in normal and emotional intelligence. I think this fantastically synergize with Callum's curiosity but extra kind and understanding self, leading to some very special moments and facial expressions. Something they completely destroyed forever in the show and I will always be angry with that.

Thank you for making it till the end, this was a very long ask despite the question being fairly simple. I love these two character with all of my heart, and as always, I am so blessed to have at least some people here to share my undying passion for them ❤💗💜🏃‍♂️

[otakebi-cam-wao]

P101 Japan The girls ep 8 by a harowota

you know the thing, i write my mind's flow under the cut

LET'S START!!!!

i'm already spoiled of the eliminated ones, AND CRYING cuz of one (more than the others)!!!!

i love parutan in a normal amount... also ayane in a normal amount, i love mi intps girlies in a normal amount (not normal amount)

i fuckin love the presentation by the names they give the groups so cute, okay gonna cry now (even tho i already know this, but their faces is sad)

Momoka's new hair looks better than those black bangs and silverish blonde hair

love you parutan, this is mood as well!

parutan cutie!!!!

i dunno the places btw

ohhhhh after position evaluation?

lol KitaSakura lol, i'd follow her game with a bit of an embarrasement

concept battle, right

why is Nano so beautiful in an very interesting way? (her eyes are the main catch)

original song

SHUT UP RIMIKA (sorry Rimika fans, idk why but she gives me off vibes)

owo somethingsomething Baddie?

how hype they look nice

popcorn

oh, somehow i imagined something more cutesy (i shouldn't expect cutesy here, right?)

is hype and sexy?

AtoZ?

somehow my mind brings gee, cute but not extremely

toxic... what is this kpop g-idle vibes (as far as what i know cuz of tiktok... i'm not kpopie)

&ME (=ME reference? ok no)

powerful sounding, idk what to think

"aren't all you bad girls" lol kaela, baddie seemed nice, ngl

oh so the people decided the songs for each?

i fon't get this system... E is the group or song? me confusion

oh the letter is the song, but they can choose one to see who liked which song?

Nagomi's extensions made her so cute!!!!

i'm confussion tho... everyone gets a letter, but... what bout the eliminated girls

cute Joa

ohhh Ran hair extensions owo

i love people hiding lol

lol Yui getting a micro heart attack by Ema and Chiharu

Ran got excited w Joa

poor Shizuku, she just wants someone to get to that A room

these girls lol

Nano cute getting into the "empty" room and the surprises

lol nagomi miyu and rin

poor Aita Rin, all alone yet

lol Shizuku finally got someone in that room

Tsuzumi good eye!!!

Kassa! there too!

Kokoro getting there and how Kassa went was amazingly cute

how kassa says "Sakurai Miu" is funny

lol that C team is so funny

Kokona cute eyes and Nano?!

HINA!!!!!! looked so cute

lol

i love this, but they're not lol (the rest appeared cutesy way)

i fucking love how they wait every person gets into the room lol so funny, so exciting

C room is popcorn lol

A room is?! AtoZ (definitely the cute one)

B is baddie? ofc our bad girls lol

E room is for? idk... &ME then

D is toxic then... yes

i'm confused why they let everyone to rehearsal if there will be eliminated participants in each group

lol Popcorn team all got twintails, i love them so cute and hype, i wanna be there somehow

oh no Yuuki losing hope to even ask for the center

i'm kinda lose watching cuz i don't feel good knowing they had to rehearsal before eliminations tho it make sense

but also lol Yumeki laughing!!!!

Nakasone on video call being mother as always

i swear i don't want to talk a lot now...

Thelma seems a bit tougher this time

lol Miu ruining the emotive moment!!! (mood)

okay now the elimination...

or well, the passing ranking

35 to 25

i'm half lose, half tense here, cuz i know the ones who left, but not the places and it's so uabsdfbgdsihgh i don't like it

at least they had a relax time before the eliminations with sport battles!

so fun!!!!!

i just cannot even write, this is so fun, the imitations thingy

everyone imitating Yumeki 10/10

Mikotone in 3 legged race? thats cheating

elimination was sad

but also OMG radio for the trainees brought by the babies Nagomi and Hina

cute letter from Yui for Koto

Mana's letter for Chiharu is funny lol!!!

Rinon to Ayane is cute as well

CUTE AYANE PROMISING TO BRING RINON, NAGOMI AND HINA TO KARAOKE

i won't comment all letters, but 10/10 they did this

they had finished the letters but then nagomi had one for hina awww

cute babies

cute embarassed Nagomi

ohhhh Hina had a letter for Nagomi!!!!

they're so cute!!!!

i can't stand the elimination!!! (tbh i'm glad Rimika didn't make it tho)

i'm also kinda sad Momona got 3rd, but you're still there girl!

the cut girl is?....

Even Kaela cries saying this!!!!

cut girl (35th) is Yoshida Hana

moment to cry now that Sakata Kotone says her words for being 36th (it hurts me too)

cuz...

she was 3rd on my top 11 pick and i left her a message she liked

Kaela makes me hurt more, bye Kotone, bye MiKotone (twins) bye gyaru Sakura... is hard to see, i don't want more!!! (i will keep watching this ofc)

i'll just leave this

next week team reoganization? so they rehearsaled for nothing (if they move)

WTF?!

i'm fucking loving this girls (besides Nagomi bby, i love you, she's my bby), team popcorn fun stonks!

oh no the cries after eliminations

it hurts, it burns (the person writing this is poker facing tho)

pain, this is pain!

[ode2rin]

us again 🙁🙁🙁🙁 it was actually so good i’m so glad you decided to pick it up again THANK YOU FOR SHARING TJAT WITH US DONT EVER LEAVE PLSKDJFB

Anyway i will send a long ask about quotes i liked because i need to express my awe and support and compliment U because omg. what.

After all, everything here in this town is about you and him. 

i like how you decided to set it in a town instead of just saying smth like city or whatever, because i find it more like … romantic? and YES the way we rot in his memories he’s never getting rid of us we are his childhood and literally 19 years of his life t-t THE OTHER HALF OF HIS HEART (like u said).

And deep down, he didn’t want to believe it either – until that day you decided not to show up when you promised you would.

OUCH. the paragraphs before this one too i love the way you portrayed his coping to himself and how much of an effect we had on him 😭😭 at first i was like wrf i can’t believe we ghosted him like that but after reading the letter i would definitely do the exact same thing i’m ngl 😭😭

A thousand emotions danced in his eyes, each one a testament to the love that once blossomed between you.

i love it when they can’t ever forget about us. the use of the word blossom makes it seem like such a temporary thing and it just screams highschool romance because flowers don’t blossom often (like what… once a year or smth???) and that’s like saying our love blossomed and was peak in the past and idk what i’m saying but i hope yk what i’m saying and i hope i’m not misinterpreting ur work LOL but i just had to sauce this one in here too

In this universe, you're just some two ghosts standing in the place of you and him, haunted by the memories of what once was while trying to remember what it feels to have a heartbeat.

the alternate universe comparison I EAT IT UP ALWAYS BUT IVE NEVER SEEN ANYONE USE GHOST BEFORE TO DESCRIBE IT AND IM JUST LIKE WHAT YOURE SO SMART !!! HAUNTED BY MEMORIES TOO?? MIMI IS SO BIG BRAIN

while you share a kiss as greedy and fiery as the sea’s yearning for the moon.

the sea’s yearning for the moon that’s all.

I would’ve traded all my tomorrows for just one yesterday with you.

now this is genius. traded the tomorrows aka trading your entire future and dream and careers just for one moment in your fleeting highschool teenage romance with sae that was left in the past ……. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

so yeah. i love your writing lots and i’m glad we’re moots<3 thank you mimi!!!!! and thanks for listening to my little rant tehe

yumi. YUMI. i would really really really love to hug you right now like this INSTANT (ಥ﹏ಥ)

the fact that you even took the time to go over the whole fic (ik it's a lot bit ._.) is enough to make me go ➡️ o(〒﹏〒)o btw i can't even start to articulate better word to tell you how thankful i am. YOU CAN HAVE A HUNDRED MANGOES FROM ME PLEASE 🥭

let me go over your fave quotes (that made my heart go swell btw wdym i have quotes now) AAAAAAA

➼ the small town !! let me telle you something, i actually love small town romance like a not so normal amount, it's prolly included in my top 5 tropes pls. i just love it when the other leaves and the other stays and by fate, they just meet again to rekindle what was once their shared memories. childhood friends to lovers is nice but if it's small town? NOM NOM I LOVE IT i've always wanted to try writing it and who's a better choice to try than our mr. i went to spain right here (even if it's not fullblown focus on that trope..)

➼ THE LETTER AHSJKAJSHAJ ngl, i would also do the same thing .. i just think sae is the kind to hold grudges lmao he definitely held MASSIVE hatred for not showing up

➼ i like using the word blossom in describing past love sometimes because (1) i love flowers, (2) it's a one time thing aka seasonal and it fits characs that yknow will fall in love once or twice in their whole life and that's it, (3) and lastly, it's temporary and it passes like time.. I LOVE YOU YUMI YOU REALLY GET ME I'M GIVING YOU SMOOCHES RN

➼ two ghost is actually a song !! i love that song so much (rumor has it that it's about taylor swift since she's harry's ex 👀) i've been listening to it and got inspired by the lyrics <3

➼ there's this children bed time story my friend told me abt that the reason why there are high tides is bec of a prince imprisoned in the sea and the moon was actually a goddess that he got punished for loving? and everytime the tide is high it means he's trying to reach for the goddess I CAN'T REMEMBER BUT THAT WAS THE STORY BEHIND IT and i decided to use it bec damn that story is the definition of yearning come on..

➼ now that line.. i was making pancakes when i thought of that oh my god and i reached out to the nearest paper i could find bec what if it leaves my mind 😭 ngl i love love love that :(

it's ME who should be glad 🫂 i'm glad i wrote make you mine bec it led u to MEEEEEEEE (iirc we became moots bec of it :>)

[peterlorres21stcentury]

stupid sexy fantasies

I have the same fantasies over and over. It's like my brain refuses to think of anything normal or interesting. These things show up in my writing a lot, to the point where I worry that readers will notice how repetitive I really am.

So here's a brief look into my strange inner self, as I imagine telling all this to a kindly therapist in the image of Peter Lorre because I cannot afford one in real life.

*taking notes* Patient is clearly a deviant and a lost cause.

The following was difficult to write down because of shyness but I'm making an effort to be bolder this year:

I'm sure I mentioned this before but I have a huge fetish for bellies. So much. I don't even know why, but I've had this fascination since I was not quite three years old. At least that's when I first remember it. As time went on it went hand-in-hand with a fat/weight gain fetish. I always made up little stories to myself about hungry characters with grumbly tummies who eventually had the opportunity to eat as much as they wanted, and then they rested with a good full belly that happily gurgled away while they slept. Invariably they would eat more and get fatter because in my head, plump bellies = the sexiest thing on planet earth. I STILL find every opportunity to work these things into my fiction and I'm sure it gets old for literally everyone except me.

And I can't forget belly rubs. Bellies are a vulnerable part of us, and something about being allowed to rest on top of someone to soothe and kiss their bloated belly and listen to their food digest is deeply exciting for me. I love getting the same kind of attention, too. I want to be told how fat I am, or praised for the impressive amount of food I managed to put away (in a nice way. Like an appreciative, admiring kind of way). Also if we're cuddling/making out and things are starting to get hot, and our stomachs press together... 😍😍 It just feels amazing and it's so comforting. It represents trust. (btw if there's some long German or perhaps Yiddish vocabulary word for this precise feeling of comfort/safety/sexual lust/belly and/or food obsession in general, I'd really like to learn what it is).

If I'm in another kind of mood, I also like vore; the impossible fantasy of a person swallowing another person whole. Obviously this cannot be done by humans, but in fiction all manner of weird things are possible. The same belly stuff applies here--the predator ends up with a HUGE belly which is always exciting--but there's also that element of control in play. The predator exerts control over their helpless prey by literally consuming them. I like it when prey gets digested, because I just can't be normal about anything. I'm either a soft cuddle bug or a devouring predator and there isn't much in between. I don't know what that says about me.

ANYway, after all that, it's inevitable that I would start to combine various obsessions, so all these fantasies typically involve Peter Lorre in some way. Now that I think about it, my fetishes may have initially played into my love for Peter. See, my obsession with Peter began when I first saw "Arsenic and Old Lace." And there's a line, right after Jonathan and Dr. Einstein first show up at the Brewster home:

Jonathan: I hope there's a fatted calf awaiting the return of the prodigal.

Einstein: A fatted calf? Oh, Johnny, I'm so hungry...

I remember the exact moment when I first saw that and a few things went through my teenage brain at once: "omg, the little doctor is so pitiful and cute. OMG, he just said he was hungry?? !!!! Must feed him. C'mon, somebody feed him, he's starving. Oh I hope he gets to eat soon." I spent the rest of the scene in a state of confused excitement while hoping nobody else noticed the emotional whirlwind I was in. Ever since then, Peter was my favorite actor forever, the end.

I'm sure I would have loved him anyway even if I didn't have the aforementioned fetishes, but now I'm stuck imagining him as the subject of various tummy fantasies, too. I mean, by all accounts he loved food and sort of naturally tended to be plump. What if he enjoyed this kind of thing too? Would he like it if someone, say me in another life, admitted all this to him and gave him loving belly rubs as a form of foreplay? I dunno... but I hope he would like it.

[goldenkenku]

hello I come with oc questions hello! what are some fun facts about whoever is most on your mind right now? and what are some not-so-fun facts? :3c

OUNGGHH. TY FOR THIS [EXPLODES]

LMAO SO FOR FUN FACTS:

Paroxysm is genuinely something I can say was created purely on accident because I got very attached to the new edgy oc (Shin) and decided that they Must have some depth even tho I originally wanted them to be flat and just for funsies. To explain: Shin originally was this mass of creatures who decided to kill and possess some rando's (rando being Daki) body while pretending to Be them etc etc then shenanigans ensure. But yeah I was like. "Ok but who is the guys he's possessing tho. Also does this dude have any friends who'd notice this change– oH ALSO W–[FALLS FACE FIRST INTO INTENSE HYPERFOCUS]

▪︎Also extra note: Dai had been created during this original concept phase as well! I wanted Daki (the guy Shin is possessing currently) to have like. Actual Friends who'd notice that Somethings Different in him and would help him if possible and moments later Dai was born

And speaking of Dai, this reminds me that in early development (saying this like Paroxysm isn't still a baby) he was originally meant to be... 21 years old? but after getting more into his life accomplishments and all that I came to the conclusion of: "If this guy were in fact 21 yrs old, I think the sheer amount of stress he's under would perhaps send him into an early grave"– and basically he's 23 yrs old now (but also I do not think that man has ever gotten more than 5-6hrs of sleep in one sitting. Good lird)

On the flip side tho, his friend Daki is currently in the middle of taking a break year between high school and college since he's graduated, and I think he gets enough sleep/relaxation time for the both of them (/hj because very soon Daki gets exposed to The Horrors and is put thru the metaphorical blender)

▪︎Dai's name came from when I was trying to say ShinDaki (<- the current duo name for Shin and Daki's dynamic) While. Extremely Tired and ended up saying "ShinDai" on accident LMAO, anyways it stuck with me as we can see

▪︎fun thing that I like to sprinkle into their dynamic occasionally is that Daki admires Dai SO much, but subconsciously has this bad habit of comparing themself to him Constantly (obviously not the healthiest of habits lol) and wants to be someone that Dai can be proud of

Also Daki has been procrastinating confessing His Feelings™ for Dai for at least years and at this point he's made peace with going to the grave with them as well (Hes gets nervous making larger life decisions, and will normally get someone else to support him during smth like this. And since this is something he must do alone (<- without Dai's support) he has decided to Not)

Dai has Feelings for Daki as well lol, but he's less self aware when it comes to these things and it took dating a random girl that he works with to Really register it LMAO (while they were dating he was like. Huh. Hey so why can't I stop thinking about my friend. [Realizes] OH. OHHHHHHH. FUCK.) Anyways he ended up telling her this (bc he felt guilty and thought she should know) and soon after they broke up unfortunately, on good terms btw!!! They're still really close friends still but it was... sooo fucking awkward during the week post breakup. But in true Dai fashion he has decoded to repress his feelings for Daki for Later™ him to address

Anyways I love my sillies, but for the not so fun facts!!!:

▪︎The reason why Dai is Like That (overachiever/overworker/doesn't know how to take care of himself etc etc) is because he's been trying to live up to the impossible standard his parents have set for him, and the standards he's set for himself mentally as a result of this. I feel that he envies Daki's ability to like... actually relax without the feeling of crawling out of his skin bc of restlessness (tfw you have strict parents who don't know how to convey positive emotions at children and give them insane mental illnesses instead)

Also Daiki be like. "Ohh I admire your ability to live a life that is seemingly the exact opposite of my own. I wish I were more like you" bc I dunno love wins

▪︎In the Egregore AU (<- Basically the reverse version of Paroxysm where Dai gets possessed instead of Daki) Dai is.. Alot more paranoid(?) compared to his original counterpart. And smth smth I think he has OCD  in Egregore now? So basically. The Curse thats possessing him can be summed up as "horrific intrusive thoughts that are also Very Sentient/Alive" and I dunno. I was looking at how someone like him might yknow. Cope with this sort of thing and kept realizing that it was very simular to how I've seen people deal/sooth themselves during bad bouts of OCD. Anyways in Paroxysm Daki's body is taken away from him and in Egregore its Dai's mind that's turned against him. They are 🤝🤝🤝🤝 while also crying LOL

▪︎There was a version of Paroxysm where Daki... perma died at The Start of the story, and it was abt Dai solving and avenging his murder and Shin being an ass about it. It's changed since then so instead of dying he gets rreeaallllll close to it lol

(And since this was The Original Concept of Paroxysm, the meaning of Daki's name reflects that still even tho things have changed Alot since then. Anyways Daki meant "abandon, throw away, discard" etc etc however I recently found a different (kanji) spelling of Daki that can mean princess which is SO funny to me)

▪︎ONE MORE SINCE I AM SLEEPY AND I THINK THIS IS GETTING A TAD LONG.

Shin has The Worst abandonment issues known to man and science. It's understandable since the One person he had really trusted and felt a really connection with basically sealed him into a box where his energy bounced and reflected off of itself for.. almost? 20 years basically, and for the most part he doesn't know Why this happened to him (the process of That fucked up/twisted his memories, so he genuinely cannot rely on whatever goes on his brain memory wise) so he's done alot of stewing in anger/grief/intense confusion during that time. I do not think he would begin to recognize what he was "before."

In short Shin has decided to take out all of his Very pent up Issues on Daki, which obvs doesn't end well for anyone involved unfortunately

[leviathans-watching]

hello there! may i request a fluffy oneshot with lucifer where mc likes to keep their feelings and thoughts to themselves in fear of annoying him? i adore your writings so much btw 😫❤

open affection with lucifer

includes: lucifer x/& gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: .5k | rated g | m.list

a/n: this was a blast to write so i hope you enjoy!! it was really fun experimenting with tone and emotion w this! thank you for requesting and for the compliment!! my inbox is open to chat, request, or leave feedback so come say hello! <3

please reblog mwah

“you’re always so open with your affection for everyone else,” lucifer murmurs one evening, the two of you bent over his desk working.

“hmm?” you ask, looking up. you’re touching the cap of your pen to your bottom lip, tapping it gently.

“never mind,” he says eventually. “it was nothing.”

you blink, focusing in on him, eyes sharpening. “no, what did you mean by that?”

he knows better than to play coy; you’re akin to a dog with a bone. now that’s he’s spoken up it’s best he follows through. “i’ve just noticed how you seem, well, less outspoken about your love for me.” he chooses his words carefully, trying not to upset you. or show that’s he’s a little upset himself. normally, he wouldn’t bring it up at all, but asmo had been teasing, and well, to put it simply, his pride was damaged.

“is that what it seems like to you?” you ask, leaning forward. “i’m sorry, that’s not how i intended it.”

“so you are less affectionate with me?”

you purse your lips. “yes, but-” exhaling, you take a moment to gather yourself, also speaking carefully. “by no fault of yours, i am. trust that i love and adore you just as much as the rest of your brothers. you take up that same amount of space in my heart and mind and that’s something that won’t change.”

“then why?” he asks, genuinely confused.

“well, you’re a bit colder than your brothers in general,” you point out, “and when i first arrived here you were very firm in establishing boundaries with me. i didn’t want to annoy you, or disregard those boundaries by constantly loving on you.”

he stares at you, stunned. he made you feel insecure to display your emotions?

you frown, eyes darkening slightly. “hey, i can see you starting that self-deprecation stuff. it’s really to as deep as you’re thinking.” you try to shrug, but as much as you can read him, he can read you.

“but i made you hesitate to express yourself,” he responds. “i made you feel as if you’d be an annoyance, or a bother, when all you would be doing is telling me you love me.”

“i suppose,” you concede. “although, i have always been prone to overthinking. if it’s truly something you want i’ll stop hesitating.”

“i would like that,” he says firmly. “please, don’t hold back.”

“i hope you know what you’re asking for,” you say good-naturedly. “i’ll fuss over you in public.”

“as long as it’s you,” he returns, delighted by the way your eyes flick from him in embarrassment, “then i’m alright with it. more than alright.”

“oh, you’re going to get so many cheek kissies,” you say, startling him into a laugh. “especially since i have so many to make up for.”

“i love you,” he says, reaching over to brush your hair back. “so much.”

you catch ahold of his hand, pressing a kiss into the skin of his wrist, where the glove stops. “good. it’d be kind of awkward if what i had going on was unrequited, you know, particularly after this conversation.”

leviathans-watching’s work - please do not repost, copy, or claim as your own

[sylenth-l]

I like your exo art and how detailed you draw them! After the last DLC we got some *juicy* details on exos but one thing remains unclear to me - how do they have sex? Is the *cough* equipment needed build in? Is it always there or is retractable? xDD Do you have any headcanons or ideas in this regard? ;) I can’t even picture two exos kissing, imagine the metal on metal sound it would make?? >_< Or do they have some soft parts out there?? Should probably have some otherwise they’d be too heavy??

Thank you very much, anon! 💙 There was a time I thought I'd never be able to draw any Exo convincingly, so it's always nice to hear that :D

Well, the thing with Exos is that the road to their creation was quite rocky and a several attempts were made by Bray Exoscience to make this whole thing work. The first Exo models (ones I believe we can see in the facility on Europa) were built and designed in a way that stripped them off all human's organic "flaws" - such as the need to eat, sleep, reproduce, etc. Exos from Europa don't even have mouths (not to mention other... functional traits) and their bodies seem to be not meant even for wearing clothes or shoes. But even though Clovis Bray was extremely pleased with this concept, it eventually failed, since these Exos fell victims to the so-called Dissociative Exomind Rejection or DER. Basically the issue was human mind rejecting robotic body. DER could've been delayed by resets - blocking off all memories about the previous organic body. But it wasn't that effective, since 1 - memories couldn't be wiped once and for all and they inevitably returned at some point, causing DER all over again and 2 - Exos' brains could handle only a limited amount of resets before taking damage leading to insanity, the safe number being ~20 (that's why the numbers in Exos names are so important). So CB came up with another solution, adding some familiar organic needs to the Exo bodies to trick their brains - such as the ability to eat, rest and yes, have sex. The newer generations of Exos were built with these functions from the start and the old ones (like Cayde, for example) were modified/reuploaded into new bodies later. They probably included not only these new... assets, but also overall more simlar to human shapes so they could wear normal clothes, more detailed faces so they could express their emotions better and etc. So yeah, Exos have all equipment needed (maybe even more than that 👀) and it's always there, pretty similar to humans, it just wasn't like that from the start, when they were more similar to classic robots.

(I oversimplified it for a better understanding & shorter story, if you're interested in details, I highly recommend reading the lore, especially Clovis Bray's journal, it's one of the most interesting stories in Destiny imo)

Actually I think the possibilities are unlimited here, I mean, they could basically install whatever they wanted into themselves and change it any moment, how cool is that! Of course I highly doubt Bray Exoscience approved any of this, but I bet there were (and still are!) tons of "underground" workshops where Exos could mod themselves to whatever amount they wanted, starting from fancy lighting and ending with retractable robo tentacles 🤪

As for Exo kissing... Idk, I think they won't be able to kiss in a way that humans do? Since they, well, have very rigid lips and don't have tongues or even cheeks at all. Maybe two Exos can show affection in a different way, like sharing some sort of electrical impulses or connecting wires or something like that? I don't have any Exo/Exo ships so I never thought about it before tbh 🤔 And maybe it's for the better, I feel like I struggle enough with drawing human/Exo kisses already lol OTL

(Have one as a treat for reading all that btw ✨)

[silversatoru]

Hello! I saw that you’re taking requests. I hope this is the right place to request, I’m new to tumblr haha.

Could I request, Megumi x F!reader, heavy angst breakup sex? The rest of the details are completely up to you if that’s okay!

I loved the gojo one btw!

yes yes here u go!! i hope this is the kind of thing you were looking for!

burdens

fushuguro megumi x nonsorcerer f!reader

synopsis: you and megumi have been dating for a few months now, and he decides it’s time to call it quits. he’d rather break your heart than have to watch you die, but not before he gets to feel you one last time

tags/warnings: smut, angst, break-up sex, nsfw (18+), takes place in the jjk universe but reader is not a sorcerer

word count: 2484

a/n: writing angsty megumi breaks my heart every single time. i jus want to give him a hug

Megumi watched anxiously across the room as a couple nurses finished applying bandages to your arm, your eyebrows knitted together in pain as they brushed over the large gashes. He noticed the small twitches in your other hand —probably caused by a mixture of pain and anxiety. You were stupidly strong, probably one of the tenacious people he’d ever met, but he could tell that this was getting to you. All of the curses you couldn’t see, the jujutsu techniques that you didn’t understand, it was all becoming overwhelming — dangerous even.

The two of you had been on a date a few hours ago, a sushi dinner and then a walk in the park — something simple — because even the simplest things felt wonderful when he was with you. And that’s exactly how things felt today, wonderful, or at least they did before the two of you ran into a hideous curse. 

He should have noticed it, picked up on it’s cursed energy, anything — but he was so terribly distracted when he was around you. So when it caught both of you off guard and wrapped it’s grotesque fingers around your fragile body, he felt nothing but guilt. Nothing but shame and disappointment in himself that he had failed to protect you yet again. Exorcising it was easy of course, but the damage had already been done — your beautiful arm had been torn to shreds by the monster. Now the two of you were sitting in a pale, white hospital room telling lies about how you were attacked by a stray dog. 

Thankfully, other than the lacerations down your arm you were okay, your blood loss wasn’t too severe and the two of you had gotten here before any kind of infection could crawl it’s way into your skin. 

The car ride back to your small Tokyo apartment was dreadfully quiet. You’d made several attempts at conversation but Megumi continued to shut them down, a dark shadow of expressions cast over his face. You told him several times that this wasn’t his fault, that you understood the risks of dating him, but he just kept brushing you off. He’d told you several times to “shut up” or “be quiet”, and your heart ached at his bitter words — he’d never talked to you that way before tonight. 

When the two of you walked into your apartment, he was quick to slam the door shut and wrap a firm arm around your waist. He moved with a sense of urgency, forcing you back against the wall and letting hot, heavy breaths fall against your neck.

“Megumi-,” You pressed a hand to his chest, attempting to put some distance between the two of you but failing miserably — he was much too strong. 

You wished you could take a peek into his head, unravel his thoughts and figure out what the hell he was thinking. He was acting incredibly out of character since the two of you had left the hospital, and your chest was starting to throb with anxiety. 

He pressed a wet, messy kiss to your lips, making your heart leap into your throat and your stomach churn. You graciously accepted the kiss, of course, his lips against yours was the most blissful feeling in the world. However, as his tongue moved roughly around your mouth and his teeth bit down fiercely on your bottom lip, uncertainty crawled up your skin. Megumi was always so gentle with you, only ever touching you in the most gingerly ways, treating your body like a piece of the most priceless glass. So, why now was he gripping your skin so tightly you thought it might bruise? Why were his kisses sure to leave your lips swollen and sore? 

“Please, honey, let me have you,” He suddenly spoke, stirring you out of your thoughts. 

Honey, it was his favorite name for you, in fact he rarely called you by your actual name. Normally, that name sent butterflies swirling through your stomach, but this time was different. He said the word as if it left a sour taste in his mouth, as if he regretted having to call you that. 

“W-what?” You looked up at him with big eyes, big eyes that he refused to look into.

“Give me permission to touch you, please,” His voice was filled with so many emotions all at once — anger, despair, regret, need, hunger — there was probably more but he was impossibly hard to read right now. 

“Why are you acting like this?” You tried to plead with him, reaching up and cupping a hand around his soft cheek. 

“God, just say yes. Please just say yes and then stop talking,” His voice was almost a growl as this point, so uncharacteristically resentful. 

“I mean- yes? Of course? You’re always allowed to touch me. But why-” You spoke in confused, frantic breaths. 

“Thank you,” He immediately cut you off after gaining consent, wrapping a stiff hand around your wrist and practically dragging you back to your bedroom. 

He pushed you towards your large, queen-sized bed and then slipped his hands underneath his shirt and yanked it over his head in one long, swift motion. 

“Take your clothes off,” He demanded, undoing the drawstring of his sweatpants and letting them fall into a heap at his ankles. 

You wordlessly obliged, attempting to convince yourself that he needed this. He needed this and after you gave it to him, things would go back to normal — he’d just had a rough day, that’s all. 

It took him mere moments to aggressively pin you underneath him, though he was tediously avoiding your injured arm. He pressed a series of sloppy, wet kisses to your collarbone, slowly moving up to your neck and leaving painful imperfections all over your skin. You winced as he began to suck on a particularly sensitive spot, nibbling hard enough to make your skin sting and burn under his tongue. He continued to trail hungry, relentless kisses down the entirety of your body, covering every inch of your skin in aching love marks. You felt like you were on fire, the subtle pain and immense pleasure beginning to cloud your head — you were even starting to forget how tense things had been between the two of you just moments ago. 

Megumi sat up and stared down at you as he fumbled with his boxers, sliding them off and throwing them to the floor. He needed this more than he’d ever needed anything in his entire life — he needed to feel you one last time and then he needed to break your heart. 

He reached down and ran a single, slender finger along the folds of your entrance, a fire igniting in his eyes when he felt how slick you already were. 

“God, you’re too perfect,” He murmured, giving a harsh squeeze to the skin around either side of your hips, “Get on your hands and knees”.

His praise sent goosebumps up your arms and light blush across your cheeks, making things feel almost-normal. You flipped yourself over onto your knees, stretching your arms out against the bed and arching your back as hard as you could. 

With absolutely no warning, he thrusted forward with incredible force, sheathing himself deep inside you and causing a strangled scream to lurch from your lungs. His head dipped low as he let out a throaty groan, his long black hair hanging lazily over his face. Sharp breaths and pained whimpers rolled from your lips, your knuckles turning white from squeezing the bed sheets so hard. 

Megumi always started slow, he always whispered sweet praises into your ears, always asked if you felt okay — nothing between the two of you had ever been this rough and unforgiving. This time he set a steady pace right from the start, his hips rolling ruthlessly as he slammed himself into you. Your breaths were terribly uneven and completely muffled by the pillow your face was forced into. You gasped for air as he stroked with unbelievable force, catching the pillowcase in your teeth and biting down hard on the fabric. 

His pace slowed for a mere second, and you felt his fingers intertwine themselves in your soft locks of hair. You sucked in a sharp breath, his fingers tightening into a fist and yanking your head backwards. Once his hand was secured around the roots of your hair, his strokes intensified again. 

The initial pain of taking his forceful cock had subsided and replaced itself with immense pleasure, but your scalp was ablaze with a horrible, piercing pain as he tugged at your hair. The overwhelming combination of complete agony and intoxicating bliss caused a few tears to form at the edges of your eyes, threatening to spill at any moment. Your hips and ass began to ache, and you knew you’d be terribly sore tomorrow morning. The pain was starting to become more prominent and it was getting increasingly difficult to hold your back at such an uncomfortable arch. 

Megumi lifted his spare hand to his forehead, swiftly wiping the small beads of sweat that were forming above his eyebrows. He panted hard, moans and strings of curse words leaving his throat as he continued to rail you into oblivion. His throbbing member was starting to go numb from the devastating amount of stimulation, and he knew he’d need to finish soon. 

“Squeeze your legs,” His words were less of an instruction and more of a demand. 

You quickly complied, squeezing your legs closer together and feeling your walls constrict around his full length. The euphoric sensation was enough to send Megumi falling over the edge, his head flying backwards as he ripped his member free of your warm grasp. He wrapped his long fingers firmly around himself, jerking hard as he sprayed his emanation all over your beautifully arched back. Choked moans and aggressive cuss-words flew from his gritted teeth as his climax coursed through his body in waves. 

As the wonderful feelings finally started to wash away, he stared down at you with a horrible emptiness in his eyes — now came the hard part. 

He stood up and wordlessly walked into your bathroom, retrieving a towel to clean you up with. He wiped it lazily over your back and then tossed it into your hamper before beginning to collect his clothes that were strewn across the bedroom floor. 

“What about me?” You were sitting up now, your favorite blanket pulled up to your chin and clinging to your last shreds of hope.

You felt the need to hide your exposed body now that the two of your were done, his coldness heightening every insecurity you had.

“I have to go. Do it yourself,” He shot you a sideways glance, pulling his loose sweats around his waist. 

“What? Why do I feel like you’re not going to come back?” You could no longer fight the tears that had been lingering in your eyes for hours now. 

Everything was starting to make sense — you were slowly piecing everything together. His silence at the hospital, his refusal to speak to you in the car, his sudden hunger towards you, and now his unusual coldness as he practically told you to go fuck yourself. He was going to break up with you, wasn’t he? But why?

“Because I’m not. I think we should end things here”.

“So, that’s it? You just wanted to use me like a fuck-toy one last time, is that what this was?” You tried hard to keep your voice steady, but a few cracks forced their way out. 

“That’s really all you were good for anyway,” His words were like a knife to the heart, “You’re nothing but a burden outside of that”. 

A burden? That’s all you ever were to him? You refused to believe that, but his words were doing an excellent job at convincing you. After all, he was constantly protecting you from those terrifying monsters he called curses — maybe that really was a burden on him. You didn’t have any kind of other-worldly powers like Megumi did, so you truly were helpless whenever one of those things was around. Hell, until they were literally threatening your life, you couldn’t even see them. 

“You’re springing this on me out of nowhere, Megumi. You were completely normal just a few hours ago when we were eating at that sushi place! Is this because of that curse and my arm? Because if it is I’ll just work harder! You can teach me to use those cursed tools you told me about!” Tears were streaming down your face as you screamed helplessly at him.

“You’d still be too weak even if I did teach you to use a weapon or two. Things between us just aren’t going to work, okay? Don’t make me keep saying it,” He shook his head, slipping on his shoes and walking towards the bedroom door.

“I hate you, Fushiguro Megumi,” You spat out his full name, “You could at least be honest with me. You could tell me you’re afraid of losing me, that you don’t want me to get hurt — but this ‘you’re nothing but a burden’ garbage that you’re spewing is bullshit and you know it”. 

“Maybe. But if I told you those other things instead, you wouldn’t listen, would you? You’d just keep telling me that the risk of being with me is worth it,” He turned around and looked at you with heavy, pained eyes.

“Do you know how tired I am of watching the people I love die? Things would be so much easier for me if you just stayed the fuck away”. 

He left after that, slamming the door behind him before you even had a chance to say anything. He couldn’t bear the idea of seeing you die — seeing a curse pop your head off or strangle your body into horrifying shapes. No matter how broken his heart felt leaving you behind, it was still better than being the reason you suffered a young, unfair death. 

It turned out that you were never the burden — the real burden was being born into the cursed life of a jujutsu sorcerer. A life of risk and regret, pain and suffering, watching people die young and in the most grotesque ways. Somewhere, in another universe, Megumi liked to think that he was born into a normal, mundane life where he was able to love you endlessly and give you everything you ever deserved. And god — in his eyes you deserved the entire fucking world. 

[literatikoo]

Jess Mariano's alleged communication problems

If there is one thing the Gilmore Girls fandom agrees upon, whether you're team Jess or Dean or Logan, it's that Jess isn't great at communicating. There's just a consensus that he's not great at discussing his problems and that's the number 1 reason why his and Rory's relationship blew up in their face in season 3. But... this is a (somewhat) unfounded complaint? Don't get me wrong, I know Jess can be harsh and rude and really knows how to hit the nail on the head sometimes but there are also multiple instances where he talks after being pushed a little. Like every single time he's talked to Luke about Rory problems ("The girls I like don't give a damn about me," "I told her I loved her" and the infamous swan episode) or when he tells Rory, a girl he barely knows, that his mom doesn't want him back for Christmas.

The problem with Jess is that he picks and chooses who to communicate too. He definitely doesn't talk about Liz to Luke because he knows that Luke just doesn't believe that Liz is a bad person and a neglectful mother. And seriously, we've seen Luke enable Liz' terrible behaviour multiple times on the show, do you really think he would've believed whatever Jess had to say about her? He talks to Rory about Liz that one time and she doesn't believe him either and both we and Jess know that she has a right to that because she's never met Liz, but this is still enough for Jess to never bring her up again (at least from what we see) because he's a 17 year old kid with a terrible relationship with his parents. NO 17 year old kid who's been treated bad by their parents would want to open up about it because it's pretty strongly ingrained in us that having negative emotions against your parents is WRONG. On the other hand, Jess knows that Luke sees his and Rory's relationship and may even help because he has his own unique relationship with the Gilmore Girls, which is why he's much more open about Rory and even seeks advice on occasion.

Now, let's talk about Jess' less than stellar communication moments:

1. Lying about school and Walmart: Jess skives off school a LOT to work at Walmart and save up money. He doesn't tell anyone about it. Why? Because for everyone else in Stars Hollow, and for most of us too, school is important and education is a positive thing needed for growth. But who knows how often Jess went to school before SH, we already know he has a bad relationship with the educational system but why? When he goes back to NY in s2 it's obvious he's not going to school and we know Liz moved around a lot so he may be a lot more behind in school than we know. Yes, he's smart and he reads a lot but that's not enough to do well in school; you need to be able to conform a fair amount and I don't think Jess even went enough to know that. Jess already wasn't planning on going to college and he knows that living with Luke is temporary, which is why he puts more importance into saving up money. He was already working for the future, just in a different way from everyone else. It's obvious that he also wasn't planning to flunk out of school, it happened because he wasn't attending enough not because he was failing (which pisses me off so much don't even get me started). He was going to graduate and then he was going to use the money he saved up while looking for a job that suited him. And that's a pretty solid plan honestly, especially since he didn't have the luxury to suddenly decide to go to 4 year college because his girlfriend told him too like Dean. But this is something else he just couldn't talk about to Luke or Rory, who both think he's capable of great things within the academic sphere. Mind you, once Luke found out he was skipping school he didn't deal with things in the best way either. He stole his car, effectively cutting off Jess' last bit of independence. I really feel like Jess was just waiting to graduate before he had THE talk with Rory about their future, and it was obvious he was thinking longterm ("22.8 miles"). That is before everything goes to shit.

2. Keg! Max!: Let me preface this by saying that Jess definitely made irreversible mistakes in this episode... but it wasn't for the lack of trying. This is the episode that he finds out he's not graduating and we can see him struggling with this information, he's tense and angry and his emotions are simmering. His interactions with Rory, which are usually so easygoing, are surrounded by this air of finality. At this moment, he knows he's going to lose her and his home with Luke because that's what the deal was. But he still goes with her to that party and he still does the bare minimum of mingling. Throughout the party he tells Rory that he wants to leave, I'm guessing to talk to her about what happened. But they don't (this is NOT Rory's fault btw, she had no way to know what happened either) and instead Jess' emotions get the better of him. This is the first of the two instances where we really see how non communicative Jess can be. However I still maintain that if Dean hadn't gotten involved, Jess and Rory would've been able to talk. (fuck Dean)

3. Jess leaves: This is the second case where we see him being truly non communicative, and unfortunately I don't have much to say in his defence. Except that he probably was still reeling from losing his home and meeting his Dad and just didn't know how to put that insane amount of emotion into words. He also probably thought that Rory just didn't want to talk to him anymore because of how terribly he treated her, especially since he was just going to give her more bad news. He could see himself self destructing, and didn't want Rory to be collateral damage.

4. Smaller instances (Swan song, Not calling Rory, fighting with Lorelai): Okay, I think the swan incident was Rory's fault, because he was telling her the truth and just didn't want to get into it in front of Emily. But she wasn't ready to hear it until she talked to Dean, which honestly was a sucky move on her part. The not calling her when he said he would while they were dating in that one random episode was also a similar misunderstanding. The thing in common with both of these instances was that he was ready to learn afterwards; he said he was willing to go back to Emily's house and he bought them tickets to the Distillers and from what the show tells us they had a lot more consistent date nights after that. This was Jess' first proper relationship and he was really trying. Now the Lorelai thing... he just didn't want her in his business. They had no relation to each other and she was very condescending to him the first time they met, he wasn't great either but when an adult talks to you the way she did after you've just been uprooted at your mothers whims, you tend to hate them a little. And honestly I always thought that Jess being weirded out by Lorelai's involvement in his and Rory's relationship was more normal 17 year old behaviour than Dean being overly friendly with her.

So, in conclusion, because he made two big fatal communication mistakes, he's labelled as the broody non talking type. When we see most of the characters actually do the same (Rory drops out of Yale and cuts off ties with her mother, Lorelai sleeps with Christopher after months of miscommunication with Luke, Luke doesn't tell Lorelai, his fiance, that he has a daughter), seriously, they've all made mistakes and this doesn't diminish the mistakes that Jess has made and the hurt he has caused, but he also doesn't deserve to have non communicative as a personality trait. If it was seriously that big of a problem, he wouldn't have been able to grow from it that quickly (by the end of s4) and by reading self help books of all things. I also think it comes off like that because he was in the show for so little time, and that's what the writers chose to focus on.

So tldr, Jess isn't as non communicative as the show wants us to believe and he definitely isn't broody.

[alpacaparkaseok]

Okay I have to start by stating the obvious bc it needs to be said every time I read anything you write: you are so talented 😭

Reader’s clap back to Russo had me 😂

“As you wonder if your father looked the same when his body as found” 🧐🕵🏽‍♀️ I’d like to know that too. How did I forget Ortega’s comments about Bianchi’s body 😐

Okay…can’t lie. The “here, we teach how to get away with it” was a really good one. You got me there Russo you got me there

Yoooongiiii. So even in reading the previous chapter again before this…yoongi do be looking really sus 😐 I h8 it here. The paranoia is REAL. This whole scene with the ring is…interesante 🧐🕵🏽‍♀️…I have thoughts (none of them coherent).

What do you mean she made up her mind on the drive over here 😐

“Funny. It’s daytime, but you’re seeing stars” GODDAMMIT THATS A GOOD LINE (I’m sorry this seems to be just me quoting stuff but like…how can I NOT!???) (also sounds like Namjoon’s still salty about the fake death thing 😬…so much has happened I almost forgot that that wasn’t too long ago. Right? How many days have passed since?)

WE BOTH KNOW WHAT-

Using a simile about a ballerina to describe a car crash is just…pure brilliance. I love you and your big brain 😭

Hobi??? Dammit it’s been too long since I’ve read the other chapters 😭 I for sure have to do some rereading 🕵🏽‍♀️ OF COURSE THE WORDS DONT SETTLE IN. I’m sick of not knowing all the things ☹️ (she says knowing damn well it’s a lie 🙄😂)

Oooh a flashback???? 👀 (we got multiple flashbacks!!! Hurray!!)

There sure are a lot of ‘darkness’ / ‘dark’ references…feels like in chapter 11 with ‘light’ but you know…opposite 🕵🏽‍♀️

“Bleeding out yet still looking at you as if you shaped the world” 🥲 to “you won’t always be” 😭

Misunderstood mad scientist type is 100% correct 😏🔥 (help Hoseok as the light 😭😭😭)

Or maybe…😐 (you’re killing me here!!!)

An emotion huh…(loving this namjoon time btw, also incredibly interesting to me that he’s the one she decides she can trust most. The one she’s known for the shortest amount of time. I want to say it was a good choice but I think I’ve established that the bar for my paranoia is quite high at this point so 😂)

Okay but I SWEAR, as I read “a book in hand that he’d fallen asleep reading” my thought no joke was ‘that’s so weird and normal?’ AND THATS WHAT YOU WROTE TOO. I feel like we just had a weird sort of jinx moment? And I’m weirdly delighted 😂

Unspoken understanding huh…

*editors note: two seconds later 😂

Yup okay that tracks

OH SHIT THE EARRINGS

Ouch…that’s gotta hurt. The pride on her father’s face. Can’t imagine she enjoys him thinking they are similar in any sense. I wouldn’t, the bastard 😡

A photo? Of her mother maybe? Damn…I really wanna reread everything now (seriously It’s been so long that now I don’t even remember if I’m supposed to know where Yadiel is from, cause the comments about the accent and tanned skin has me 🕵🏽‍♀️) I swear every little detail you write feels important, whether they are or not and here is when I once again tell you how good of a writer you are. *insert Bernie sanders meme*

I literally shivered when I read “a finger tracing a line from your shoulder to your wrist” 🕵🏽‍♀️

“Your jungkook” 😐 I feel like I don’t even have to say anything here 🧍🏽‍♀️YOU KNOW WHAT (I won’t quote the other related line BUT YOU KNOW 🙃 always referring to their past ‘relationship’ so…blasé)

Yadiel 🔪🔪🔪 every time he touches her I want to scream. A shoulder caress to a tight grip around her wrist…then a nose boop to a push against a wall…if that doesn’t scream manipulation idk what does 😡. In an abusive toxic relationship it’s all about subtlety and he has it down pat (it’s the gaslighting for me 😐)

Another piece of jewelry referred to as somehow alive…huh 🕵🏽‍♀️

Jail. Jail for the transition back to the present including conjuring the image of Namjoon fresh from the shower in a ‘snug’ white shirt 😐 FROM A SUPER INTENSE AND DENSE FLASHBACK NO LESS (did I ignore the “a little more” in front of “snugly” maybe so 🤷🏽‍♀️😂 but still jail time for you ma’am)

Dammit. Im about to read the namjoon scene you posted about aren’t I 😭 started strong with “where does it hurt” 😳👀 SIR LEAVE ME ALONE I ALREADY KNOW THIS AINT END GAME DONT DO THIS TO ME

Wait, “you know he’s seeing someone else, too” 🧐🕵🏽‍♀️

2020!??? 🕵🏽‍♀️ (Omg it happened again…the jinx. Tho this one feels like it’s an inevitability, cause like…that’s how conversations go 😂 BUT STILL)

I-

…..

I have thoughts. Whilst simultaneously having no thoughts 😐

(The way I can’t even properly comment on what follows after…EXCEPT “actually, call me regardless” gave me heart palpitations, one might say…my heart skipped a beat 🤧 and the “he’s looking at you” 👀 “your chest doesn’t hurt so bad when you laugh” 😩 I’m nothing if not a simp)

Ahhhhhh it’s taking so much of my willpower to leave it at that…SO I’LL LEAVE IT AT THAT JUST KNOW THIS IS GONNA BE ME ALL WEEK WHILE I TRY TO FIND SOME TIME TO REREAD

In conclusion: now that we’re reaching the end (I hate that sentence) I would just like to say that this is 100(1 million)% one of the best things I’ve ever read. I love all these characters so much and it’s so well written it’s insane. I can barely go paragraph to paragraph without getting ansias bc I want to tell you how brilliant you are cause I need you to understand the power you hold 😭. Thank you for sharing this with us 🥺

Ok reader getting a little jab in was definitely so therapeutic 🤧 Russo deserves it, the lil punk. Although I'm so happy you liked his little line about getting away with murder, I was pretty proud of his haha

Ooh yes, the ring. There's so much that happens in this chapter, the ring just kinda fades into the background. But I actually really enjoyed that bit. Very interesante 🧐

gahhh you flatter me. the "seeing stars" line and the whole ballerina analogy, so glad people think they're cool because I thought so too haha

Hobi!! I'll give ya a hint, she's recalling a conversation she had with him in chapter 11 :)

speaking of chapter 11, I laughed out loud at "There sure are a lot of ‘darkness’ / ‘dark’ references…feels like in chapter 11 with ‘light’ but you know…opposite 🕵🏽‍♀️"

Jinx! Haha great minds think alike

Right on the money, Yadiel is the gaslighting kind I swear. The earrings, the gift, the pressuring, the moodswings. I love yaddy!

haha I knowww Namjoon ain't endgame but boy if he was 🤧 I would be deceased

puh-lease the power I hold?? I wouldn't have even gotten this far if it weren't for you and everyone that reads my crap 😭 you're too sweet, thank you for analyzing and sharing your thoughts with me, it makes me a much better creator.

may the force be with you trying to prep for the final chapter!

[warm-starlight]

My thoughts regarding SnK chapter 139

Read at your own risk because my thoughts are all over the place and incoherent. 😅

So when the spoilers came out i innitially cringed a bit because of how cheesy the leakers made it sound due to the salt lol. After Korean raws came out, i liked the images. The art is phenomenal! After reading the official translation i am in love with it. ❤😭

It was so incredibly bittersweet, just like Isayama promised us.

The entire EreMin dialogue was heartwrenching and i said that if Eren pulls a Lelouch i will apologize for hating his character so much post TS. So i guess i have to apologize.

This dude was willing to turn himself into an absolute monster to ensure his friends have a bright future ahead of themselves. He believed that with him laying down the foundation and dirtying his hands to the point of being irredeemable they will be able to ceize their own future.

The story he told about Ymir and her motivation explains few things: Why she protected the king with her body, why she kept building the titans even after Eren seemingly freed her, why killing Zeke stopped the rumbling and why Eren told her "You're not a got nor a slave. Just a human being". He felt how strong her love for the king was and realized she is just a poor girl who was bound by her feelings.

Then we go to the talk about Mikasa and Eren reveals he has been in love with her that whole time, but kept it within because he knew their love is impossible, because he will have to die for their sakes. He completely bares his soul to Armin revealing his selfish, pathetic, Human side which i absolutely loved btw! But despite that he asks Armin not to tell her about it as he wants her to be happy, never wondering what if.. This also confirmed that the scene in 138 was in fact their shared dream and not "mikasa's delusion"..i hope antis die of embarassment now haha.

It is also revealed Mikasa's choice that time in 138 will lift the curse of the titans. Ymir was waiting for a girl who is deeply in love to show her how to break free and let go of her loved one.

This was what led Ymir to smile and finally free herself and remove the curse from the world.

It seems that everyone got their little talk with Eren, except Levi and Pieck. I think Eren was not sure what to tell Levi or maybe because Levi is an Ackerman, getting him to the paths was too much effort, considering he could only access Mikasa's mind only moments before his death.

In the end all their friends acknowledged his sacrifice (not the genocide!). Annie and Jean calling him suicidal blockhead for one last time made me sad and nostalgic. Annie showed she cared about him since trainee days... 🥲

Now we get to Levi's final goodbye and this was the moment i started crying. This man... He suffered so much, lost Everyone, destroyed his body just to make sure their deaths had meaning, but in the end it was all worth it, so he gave them a soft smile while shedding tears. Don't get me started on Hange being front and center ashdnkhdudjndnkxh

The warriors reunited with their loved ones, FaBi got to see each other again and their suffering also ended..

Armin's scene was such a great callback to trost arc.

It was sooo good. Also bonus Annie blushing at her husbando.

Three years later we see Queen historia with her beloved child who is now free from the titan curse, being happy and soft. She is probably much better mom than her own mother was

But she is also a Queen of the country who has become like a fascist dictatorship. 😬

Despite that, she retains her kindness for her friends, sheltering Jean's and Connie's families from the Yegerists. She is a strong, independent woman.

She writes her letter and tells Armin and co even if Eren was right about one side not being able to live in peace until the other is wiped out, he left Paradis in *their* hands, meaning Herself and The alliance. Which is why i believe the peace negotiations would go successfuly.

I am really digging Armin's speech here. Armin has been a chad this entire time heh.

And so we see Levi chilling in a wheelchair in Onyankopon's country, living the life, until a plane flies by and Onyankopon gives him that look. And he looks somewhat sad.

An anon pointed out that the bubble of "They'll want to know what we saw" being placed on Levi's panel is so poetic, because from 115 Levi only saw Hange and followed her lead to free humanity and i agree.

And finally we see Mikasa sitting by Eren's grave, waiting for everyone to join her. Her clothes and longer hair indicate she indeed became the same normal girl she was before she met Eren. She misses Eren, it's normal, but a bird comes by and wraps a scarf around her, making her smile and look happy which gives just the right amount of sweetness to the story.

My only complaint about the story comes from Bias. Yeah, Isayama killed Hange for seemingly no reason, but i think the reason was simple: He needed to portray two characters who love each other letting go of each other, of their dream to remain together forever for the sake of the world and create a parallel between Ymir and the king and Mikasa and Eren. As i said earlier, Hange didn't do it for fame or recognition, she did it so humanity could keep surviving and so Levi could see the world without walls that he talked about in front of her in uprising.

I think no matter what happens, Levi will Never forget them as long as he lives just like Mikasa will never forget Eren.

So i guess that's it.. I sincerely am grateful to Isayama for not letting me down with his story, for creating amazing, relatable, Human characters, for sending me on a rolercoaster of emotions every month and it was so many emotions from depression, to thrill, to happiness, to anger... 🥲

I think just like the editor said i will reread the story from the beginning and with the ending in mind. It should give me a whole new perspective!

Oof this got long. If you are still here, thanks for reading.

[wonniesmile]

❥ playground! (ep. 2)

⤷ ellie’s moments in playground episode 2! (ft. txt <3)

⤷ bulletpoint format!

⤷ after a long wait, episode 2 is finally out! don’t forget to leave suggestions for new fics!!!

“HOW THE HECK DID YOU BEAT ME AGAIN.”

huening and ellie were once again playing on the nintendo, waiting on the others to finish getting ready for the next shoot.

“ellie please. please let me win. just this once...for my dignity.”

the boy gets on the floor and starts bowing.

ellie starts freaking out, obvi.

“NO PLEASE DON’T BOW!”

she’s in a very frantic state at this very moment, no clue why...but, i mean it’s ellie...right?

“what’re you guys playing?”, “oh- um- mario k-”

ellie looks up from her position, DUN DUN DUN.

that was like...really cringe, i’m so sorry.

it was none other than the choi beomgyu. standing. right. in. front. of. her.

“oh- oh my god- uh- h- he- hello!” she musters up a greeting and quickly bows.

“you don’t need to bow ellie! we’re friends!”

oh no, this poor girl’s heart.

if she dies from an early heart attack, it was bcs of choi beomgyu, just giving everyone a heads up! /j

anyways, her face was like BEET red.

from across the room, her members were watching her every move.

sunoo was laughing at how serious the rest of them were.

“can you guys like...idk...calm down? she’s literally fine.”

“i know, but...” (jake)

“but what?” (sunoo)

“oh you know...” (jungwon)

“can ya’ll finish the damn sentence?” (sunoo and jay)

“it’s nothing...” (sunghoon)

“jesus christ, you guys are insane.” (sunoo)

“five minutes!”

ellie’s head shoots up.

“darn it, i almost beat you.”

“not even close huening, ellie is the master.”

her cheeks, once again, burn up.

before she could thank beomgyu, ellie is pulled away by jungwon.

“what the heck wonie?”

“it’s time to go.”

she’s obviously very confused? what was getting into him?

choosing to ignore his attitude, ellie obliges and lets the boy drag her into the studio.

he spoke no words...very odd.

ellie started overthinking...did she do something subconsciously???

“places please!” she massages her temples and goes backstage to wait for her group’s cue.

the episode started with each group dancing on stage.

their instructions were to “have fun!”

she gave it her ALL, messing around...and even getting into a dance battle with riki.

she found it absolutely hilarious, but unfortunately, her face dropped at the sight of jungwon.

obviously, something was bothering him, but she didn’t have the courage to ask...at least not now when everyone seemed to be having fun.

jungwon was not one to show his emotions outwardly, so to a normal person, he seemed like his usual self.

but, ellie knows better, she can read jungwon like the back of her hand...something was up.

she made a mental note to herself to ask him if he was ok after the shoot.

the first game was an absolute BLAST.

they were competing to see which team they would have to play on.

since there was an odd number of people, ellie didn’t have to compete against anyone. instead, she got to choose which team she wanted to be on.

(she secretly enjoyed it)

she looked at the two teams in front of her.

her original plan was to go into the yellow team so both teams would have an equal amount of enhypen members, but she felt iffy about doing so because of jungwon...

she could possibly be overthinking things, but she didn’t want to take any risks.

making eye contact with him one last time, she looks over at the red team and points finger guns at them.

“yay ellie!” beomgyu seemed way more enthusiastic than everyone else.

of course, ellie’s heart rate quickens at the weird observation.

the team name choosing was absolutely wonderful.

beomgyu came up with ‘brave dummies’ and for some reason everyone went with it, not that ellie was complaining because it was REALLY funny.

this episode required a lot more physical activity than the last one, which she had no problem with.

she led her team to victory during the first game with the tubes and ping pong ball.

got picked up by beomgyu hai!

wait wait wait...let me set the scene for you guys because...it was something else.

after winning the race, the 7 teammates all did a group hug, ellie being shoved into the middle while the rest ferociously chanted “ellie! ellie! ellie!”

kinda scary...looked like a cult from the outside lol.

she was so confused.

all of a sudden, a figure picks her up from behind and starts cheering very loudly.

she looked absolutely terrified because she had no. clue. what. was. going. on.

and when this poor girl turns her head back to look at the person carrying her, all bodily organs in her shut down.

her eyes went blurry and suddenly she couldn’t see, her kidneys failed, her limbs detached from her body...it was insane.

jay and sunoo, being the teasers they were, laughed at the look of the flustered girl.

it was...so much.

when beomgyu put her down, she felt her life flash before her eyes.

she still couldn’t believe what just happened, placing a hand on her forehead to see if she was sick??? for some reason.

she literally could NOT think straight after that.

the rest of the episode felt like a blur.

during the flag game, she failed oh so miserably...

“you ok?” jay teasingly asks her.

“leave me alone.” *cue her side eye*

“hehe.” (jay)

she felt so bad for doing so badly during the game, she kept apologizing :’).

“ellie! its ok! none of us did good :)” thank god for yeonjun.

she had to lay her head down onto ni-ki’s shoulders because she felt so defeated.

ni-ki responded by hugging her by the waist.

“don’t worry, i did horrible too.”

she hummed and pouted.

the screaming from the others made her feel a lot better.

“there’s that smile!” sunoo squeezes her cheeks.

the other team won, obviously.

she examined jungwon, he seemed like he was doing a lot better, seeing him enjoy himself was all the reassurance ellie needed.

oh good god...the next game...hahahaha.

it was...hai!

they had a piece of paper in which they had to fit all their teammates on, it was...intense.

she tried standing in the middle of jake and ni-ki, but was pulled by kim sunoo to stand in between him and beomgyu.

she froze up, god...can’t you just act normally ellie? (this was to herself btw ;) )

she tried not to think about the close proximity between her and beomgyu, instead giving her all into the game.

“ellie, it’s alright, step on my foot.” yeonjun tells her.

“are you sure?”

“yes of course.”

she cautiously steps on his foot, making sure not to put too much weight into it.

they got past a good amount of rounds, the last one is where they REALLY struggled.

“i have an idea!”

ellie announces while clapping her hands.

“i think if we put our feet in this pattern...”

she shows what she means by using her own feet as an example.

“it would save space...we can hold onto each other for balance like all the other rounds and our other foot can come up. the foot on the ground will serve as a stabilizer.”

“that’s SUCH a smart idea!” yeonjun smiles at her.

“thanks!”

jake couldn’t resist it...it came as an automatic reflex. he moves his hand around to squeeze her cheeks.

“miss smarty pants saves us yet again!” (jake)

she glares at him and hits his arm.

(there was a slight smile on her face though)

with ellie’s strategy, their team wins yet again!!!

they huddled into a group hug while the other team groaned in defeat.

“ellie should’ve joined our team!” soobin yells.

she giggles.

the final game was a big round of yut nori, which ellie still had NO CLUE how to play.

“do you know how to play?” beomgyu asks her.

“not really?”

“no worries, leave it to us!”

ellie blushes...yk...the usual.

ellie didn’t do much through out the game, following whatever the others told her to do.

by the end of it, you’d think she’d know how to play, right? wrong!

she still, to this day, doesn’t know how to play yut nori :))).

she was sad as the shooting ended, knowing that they probably won’t be able to shoot together with txt for a LONG while.

it was so very fun getting to hang out with her seniors, though beomgyu was a bit too much.

after they said their goodbyes on camera, it was time to say goodbye off camera.

soobin suggested that they make a gc together, to which everyone happily agreed to!

beomgyu asked ellie for her number, which she shouldn’t have though much about considering he was the one making the groupchat for them, but a girl can dream right?

after hugging everyone goodbye, her group moved back into their dressing room.

“i’m exhausted.” sunghoon mentions.

ellie’s eyes did feel heavy.

the 8 of them have been shooting all day and they could all probably agree that what they needed now was a nice long nap.

she moved over to where sunghoon was laying down and tapped the boy to ask him to scoot over so she could lay down as well.

the girl cuddled into sunghoons warmth.

“sooo, you and beomgyu, huh.”

“why? are you jealous?”

“maybe...but you know who is Very jealous right now? and who you should probably talk to bcs he’s definitely upset?”

her eyes widen, finally realizing.

“oh my god, i gotta go.”

she climbs out of sunghoon’s embrace.

“i was comfortable ellie!”

“yeah yeah!”

she runs out the dressing room, frantically searching for jungwon.

she accidentally bumps into beomgyu.

“woah there, where are you going???”

“i’m so sorry! uh- i have to go talk to jungwon about something, i can’t really stay for long...”

beomgyu nods his head and motions for her to go.

she finally finds jungwon at a vending machine, grabbing two drinks.

“yang!”

she finally reaches him and drops her body down to catch her breath.

“i’m so sorry.”

“about what?”

“sunghoon said you were upset with me about something...and i wan- (deep breath) i wanted you to know that no one will ever replace you or any (deep breath) any of the other members (deep breath).”

jungwon stays silent for a bit before chuckling at the sight of the girl’s state.

“oh ellie...” he gently makes her look up by her chin, “don’t worry about it, i knew you would never do that...i just got jealous seeing you blush at beomgyu so much...”

the last part was barely audible, but ellie understood.

she giggles, “i didn’t know mr. yang was the jealous type!”

he glares at her, “whatever.”

she smiles and hugs him by the neck.

“let’s go back, we’re heading home soon.”

ellie pulls jungwon by the hands.

“wait,” he fishes for the two drinks still left in the vending machine, “this is for you.”

it was strawberry milk, her favorite.

“thank you, kind sir.”

the two walked back hand in hand.

“is wonie feeling better~” heeseung teased.

jungwon mocks his face.

“time to head back!” their manager calls out.

“god i cannot wait to sleep.” ellie groans.

“ellie~ can i sleep next to you tonight?” ni-ki pleads with his eyes.

“why not sunoo?”

“he wanted to switch it up today, apparently.” sunoo clings his arms with ellie’s.

“i mean of course you can riki, just promise me you’ll actually sleep and not watch videos all night.” ellie stares at him.

“promise.”

she smiles and hooks her free arm around his.

“now...let’s go home.”