#that man makes me fear for my life
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just finished s3 of the boys and catch me doing mental gymnastics to internally defend everyone except for homelander
#that man makes me fear for my life#and he doesnât exist in this universe#soldier boy did nothing wrong#apart from the bigotry maybe#and killing mmâs family#but listen itâs jackles what am i supposed to do#frenchie and komiko mvpâs fr#queen maeve is everything to me#also ryan is so jack kline coded iykyk#the boys#the boys tv#em saying things
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "đđŒđđŒâ" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) âwhy didn't he use đ«”đŒ?â didn't exist yet. âwhy didn't he use đ?â dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. đđŒ is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent đđŒđđŒ as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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#the book of bill gave me total brainrot#I fear they have taken over my life#tried to make bill look scary but then I added the bow tie đđ#gravity falls#the book of bill#bill cipher#stanford pines#billford#toxic old man yaoi#emotional damage#song is Iâm Your Man by Mitski#my art <3
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(DCxDP) The obligations of a rogue versus those of a parent (Pt. 4)
â
Tw: descriptions of body horror, Dr. Crane has PTSD and Does Not Realize, Crane has an actual panic attack and just doesnât care, the Riddler makes one (1) sex joke about Batman
Will be crossposted to AO3 eventually
(Pt. 1 here) (Prev here) - (Pt. 5 here)
(Masterlist here)
â
Dr. Jonathan Crane is in his lab, the acrid scent of chemicals filling the air, and his hands are shaking.
Dannyâs health, for the first week that he had him, had been steadily improving at an extremely quick rate. However, his healing had begun to stagnate. Danny said that it was because his body had run out of ectoplasm, and that while there was a lot of ambient ectoplasm in Gotham, he needed a stronger type in order to heal.
And so, that led Dr. Crane here.
He had stolen the research notes from the Penguin years ago regarding his experimentation on him.
(He quite vividly remembers the sound of bone creaking and groaning as it twisted, lengthened. The squelching of shifting tendons and muscles, the strange fabric-like tightening of skin. The feeling of going from man to monster, of losing all claim to his humanity.)
Danny had called him Liminal, part ghost. He had said that he was transformed by, among other things, a kind of synthetic ectoplasm.
Danny needed ectoplasm.
Crane had the research notes. He had every ingredient necessary. And yet, attempt after attempt failed.
The chemical smell burns his nose. His hands tremble.
Dr. Crane is not afraid.
He doesnât feel fear anymore. Heâs tried to, many, many times, but nothing has worked. And yet, his hands are shaking still.
(The horrifying sensation of vertebrae pop-pop-popping along his spine, growing and lengthening. The unbearable itching beneath his skin as toxin glands begin to form. The feeling of his teeth sharpening and elongating, of his skull growing, of his vision changing and brightening. The awful stench of chemicals. The awful stench of ectoplasm.)
Jonathan takes careful note of his shaking hands, his blurring vision, his accelerated heart-rate and shallow breathing.
(Human hands. Human vision. Human heart and lungs and organs.)
He takes note of them, but he does not let that distract him from the task at hand. Danny is not a chemist, but Jonathan is.
The boy knows enough about chemistry in theory, but he wonât go anywhere near Craneâs equipment. He seems to have some sort of intense fear of laboratory settings, probably developed during his stay with the GiW, and Crane is willing to respect that, if only because he cannot afford to lose him.
As such, Crane is the only one qualified to do this. And, unfortunately, if he isnât successful the boy may very well die.
He heats the chemicals to precisely the right temperatures, adding each one to its correct container.
Dr. Crane thinks of the Scarebeast, that creature born of cruelty and greed and a sense of superiority. That creature which he tries to ignore is a part of him, that can never be removed. A damage which cannot be undone.
He pours the contents of a small beaker into a larger flask, watching the liquids swirl together. The stench in the air is becoming closer and closer to the one burned into his memory.
Craneâs whole body is wracked with unpleasant sensations. Itâs truly unfortunate, he thinks, that despite his mindâs lack of fear, his body still reacts so harshly.
Jonathanâs eyes wander, eventually settling on a purple and green card sitting innocently on the corner of the table.
Right.
Even if they wiped out the GiW tomorrow, and even if Danny could survive without ectoplasm, he would still be in danger.
Crane has to get him back to good health. Itâs the only way he can be sure that the boy can defend himself properly.
The solution in the flask begins to foam, and Jonathan does not hesitate as he adds the final ingredient. He pours the mixture into a new container, capping it and placing it into a freezer set to -40 degrees.
Hopefully this time he got the timing right.
Jonathan tries to relax, the ventilation in the room slowly but surely clearing the familiar smell from the air.
He thinks of the letter.
Surely, he thinks, that man can come up with some better material for his jokes. Or, at least something new.
Same old threats, same old attempted poisoning.
Aiming his threats at Danny, though, that was new. New and utterly unacceptable.
Scarecrow did what he had to.
He doubted that his solution would last forever, of course, as with that man it never did. As such, he would prepare both himself and Danny for the inevitable moment that his choices came back to bite them.
However, for the moment, they were safe. Danny could rest and recover, and Jonathan could figure out a plan to minimize possible damages.
Jonathan is no longer shaking.
Heâs exhausted. This is his fifth attempt today, and each one leaves an unfortunate strain on his mind and body.
With a sigh, he settles himself into his seat at a nearby desk, opening up his computer and logging his most recent attempt. He still has to wait for it to chill to know if it was successful, but he can always update the logs later.
Once heâs done, he stretches, joints popping loudly as he walks to the freezer.
When he sees the results of his tireless work, the ghost of a smile flits across his face.
Success.
Jonathan picks up the jug of ectoplasm and leaves the lab, which is in all actuality the basement of the new apartment that he moved himself and Danny into after receiving the note. The scrappy old woman who was his landlord had told him that as long as he paid her five hundred dollars up front, she would let him set up in the basement without any questions or cop calls.
And so, the most expensive apartment in the Narrows was his.
At least, he thought, the distance between the basement and the apartment was short enough that Danny didnât have to sit in while he was doing his labwork.
Jonathan knew that he didnât exactly have a strong grasp on the concept of âlab safety,â proven by his built-up immunity to almost every toxic chemical heâd ever encountered, and he doubted that Danny should be around such an environment.
He was back to the apartment quickly, not bothering to hide the self-satisfied smile on his face. Danny is sitting in his armchair, trying to read one of his books. Danny looks up, ready to greet him, when he sees the jug in his hands and pauses.
âIs that..?â
âSynthetic ectoplasm,â Jonathan says proudly, âI found the Penguinâs research notes and decided to recreate it, since you said that you needed it to heal properly. Iâm not sure if itâll work the same as what you usually have, but I hope itâs helpful all the same.â
Danny is standing, now, and looking at Jonathan with a strange look in his eyes. He looks, Jon thinks, like heâs about to cry.
Then Danny is rushing forward and wrapping his arms around Jonathan, his scrawny form shaking.
Jonathan is, for a moment, horrified. Did he do something wrong somehow? Why is this child, whoâs so afraid of touch, hugging him?
And then he hears Dannyâs voice, and he knows that it was all worth it.
âThank you,â heâs mumbling, over and over, âthank you, thank you, thank you, thank you so much.â
âOf course,â Jonathan says softly, because what else can he say?
The boy cries in his arms for a while, and Jonathan briefly wonders what his life must have been like before, if a person like him can be seen as a comforting figure.
Then, Danny pours himself a small glass of the synthetic ectoplasm, putting the rest into the small fridge which had come with the apartment, and he settles back down, sitting in the armchair once again.
Jonathan sits opposite of him, and they chat with one another as Danny drinks.
Danny talks to him about the stars and tells him about different spaceships, and Jonathan makes sure to pay attention and ask the boy questions.
He doesnât miss the way that Danny lights up every time he asks him something about his interests. Heâs so passionate, so smart, a trait that he seldom sees outside of his fellow rogues, and Jonathan wants to encourage that.
ItâsâŠnice. Peaceful, almost.
And then the front door flies open, because Jonathan isnât allowed to have nice things.
âJon,â a familiar voice rings out, âwhat the hell?!â
Danny is frozen in place, clearly terrified.
Jonathan heaves a sigh, turning to face the nuisance whoâs entered his apartment.
âEddie,â he drawls, âto what do I owe the pleasure?â
Edwardâs face is red with anger as he invades Jonathanâs apartment.
âOh, I donât know! Maybe itâs the fact that you sent a bunch of rogues a cryptic message and then dropped off the face of the earth for two weeks! I was worried, Jon!â
Jonathan hums in acknowledgement.
âI didnât think it was that cryptic,â he says, picking up a book in order to pointedly ignore the Riddler.
âOh, of course you didnât, you straw-stuffed hickory dickory dickhead. I swear, youâre alwaysââ he pauses, finally having noticed Danny sitting opposite of Jonathan, ââwho is this?â
âMy apprentice,â Jonathan replies, dreading the upcoming headache he was no doubt going to develop from Edwardâs company, âheâs helping me hunt down the GiW. His name is Danny.â
Edward gasps dramatically.
âYouâan apprentice?! And youâre letting him sit in the old man chair?! You donât even let me sit in the old man chair,â he wails, draping himself over the headrest of the couch with a flourish, âJonathan, I thought I knew you!â
âEdward,â Jonathan says, âget out of my apartment.â
âOh my goodness, this is incredible. Youâre becoming the bat!â
âI am not becoming the bat, Eddie, now get out.â
Edward has a shit-eating grin on his face as he waltzes over to Danny. Danny, who seemed terrified when he first appeared, is now looking at him with obvious amusement written all over his face.
âI mean, look at him! The hair, the eyes, the scrappy build. If you put him in one of those traffic light vigilante costumes, he could easily pass as a Robin!â
âIâm not doing this with you today, Eddie.â
âRiddle me this, Jon: I am a treasure hidden inside of a chest. You can break me, or steal me, or give me a rest. I can flutter, or pound, or attack, or drop, but if you donât have me, youâre certainly fucked. What am I?â
Jonathan pauses for a moment before he groans, dropping his head into his hands.
âEddie.â
Danny sits still, a confused look on his face as he repeats the riddle silently. Then, his face lights up in delight.
âA heart!â
âJon, I like this one,â Edward says with a smile, ruffling Dannyâs hair, âyou are correct! A heart, something that I wasnât aware that our dear Jonathan had!â
âEddie, stop.â
âNo, no,â Edward says, âI was worried about you, you deserve this. I mean, you even missed girls night! You never miss girls night!â
âGirls night?â Danny asks, absolutely delighted.
âOh, of course,â Edward says, sprawling over on the couch, dangerously close to just laying in Jonathanâs lap, âwe have it once a week. Iâm invited because of Selina and Jonâs invited because Harley likes him.â
âAnd what does girls night entail, exactly?â
âEddie,â Jonathan groans, âplease.â
âWell,â Edward hums, âwe usually paint our nails, or watch a movie, or gossip about the other rogues, and occasionally, we tell each other about any âencountersâ we have with Batman,â he says, raising his eyebrows up and down.
Dannyâs jaw drops.
âEdward, shut up,â Jonathan says, an irritated tone in his voice that wasnât there before.
âNo way,â Danny says, âI thought that Batman, like, hated you guys or something. You mean he actually..?â
âOh, the Bat is much like a bottle of liquor or a cheap cigarette, in that he was made to be passed around.â
Danny chokes on air.
âEdward Nygma,â Jonathan hisses, getting out of his seat and looming over the man, âget the hell out.â
Edward pales.
âLeaving, leaving!â Edward says, dashing away from Jonathan. He pauses, turning to flash Danny a quick smile.
âRemember Danny, Iâm your favorite uncle! Not any of the other rogues, me!â
With that, he leaves, the room falling completely silent.
And, as per usual, that silence does not last.
âYou full-named him?â Danny asks gleefully, âand it worked?â
Jonathan just sighs, sitting down on the couch and rubbing at his temples.
âPlease, donât take anything Eddie says seriously. Heâs a moron.â
âDr. Crane, please let me come to girls night with you,â Danny pleads, his eyes sparkling, âI promise I wonât embarrass you.â
Jonathan groans.
âOf course you wonât, Eddie will do it for you.â
âCome on, please?â
âI think weâre a bit busy with the GiW at the moment,â Jonathan snaps. He pauses as he notices the crestfallen expression on Dannyâs face.
This boy is going to be the death of him.
âPerhaps, though, when all that is taken care ofïżœïżœïżœâ
Danny cheers, grinning wildly, and Jonathan is not at all relieved to see him happy again. Certainly not.
The rest of the day is relatively normal.
Danny works on trying to get information from the GiW database while Crane refines his his fear toxin, both preparing for a raid on the GiW base they located in Gotham.
It was only a temporary base, nothing of note, but there was a chance of discovering more bases through it, and that wasnât something either of them were willing to give up.
Still, something like this would take time. Rushing would only lead to failure.
âŠ
Late in the night, long after Danny is fast asleep in his room, Jonathan pauses.
The GiW are not the only threat out there. They arenât the only threat to him or to Danny. Perhaps it could be helpful to reach out to someone with greater resources than himself.
He sends a quick message to Red Hood.
Hopefully, he thinks, everything will go smoothly.
â
#dcxdp#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dc x dp fic#liminal scarecrow#Jonâs PTSD is triggered by the smell of ectoplasm because his life is a nightmare#HDJFNDNDNFKDJF#I am the master of emotional whiplash#rip Jon just trying to have some peace in this fucking house#never gonna happen king đ«Ą#oh also Eddie is not lying that bat can manwhore#and like half the rogues in Gotham know this from experience#and also most of the JL#and some of JL dark#btw Eddie and Jon are besties#theyâre both awful but they make it work#when Jon full-names Eddie that just means that if he doesnât stop whatever heâs doing heâs gonna get a dose of fear toxin#Eddie isnât intimidating enough to full-name anyone so if he gets mad he just bashes whoever in the head with his cane#Jon is the living embodiment of âme and my girl donât argue she bash me in the head with a rock and I walk it off like a manâ#also side note Iâm not doing any ships in this#because I donât want to#they are just Like That#if you wanna read it that way though itâs completely fine#also shoutout 2 that one scriddler fic on ao3 that helped inspire that riddle LMAO
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SOOYOUNG on Hyo's Level Up
#sooyoung#choi sooyoung#snsd#girls generation#kpopggsedit#ggnet#femaleidol#femadolsedit#idolady#dazzlingidolsedit#*m#useroro#useranusia#userresa#awekslook#lunanuggets#eritual#jadeblr#forvy#userbexrex#GODDDDDDDD. lord help me the love of my life is wearing a dress exposing her clavicles and i feel like a victorian gentleman i fear.#she is the most remarkably sexy woman on earth i actually think i will need to take a day off to recover from this experience.#her imitating the members when she's retelling stories and just#making the most over the top physical comedy out of it. man she makes me ILL!!!!!!!!
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Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)
Sure has been a year.
#terri#niart#got my wisdom toofies out#well 2 out of 4#still got stitches#idk if this removal lowkey fixed my fear of the dentist?#it was so easy and painless#also finally i'm on anxiety meds jkahsdjash#i also got depression meds but i haven't tested them yet#I'm going to see the love of my life soon again!!!#only 2 more months to go....#i've also finally found awesome friends who don't make me feel like i'm insane for wanting to be cared for#the difference is like night and day#old friends saying hey let's surprise another friend of ours oh also i think it's your birthday on that day#new friends reminding me to pick a brunch place for us to go on my special day#i am sobbing#the right people are out there#don't lose hope#i've never felt this platonically loved honestly#also yes i'm working on the next dragon's lair aksjdhasjkd#just#a lot of things happening and i'm sooo burnt out#this piece was such a strain and i just#don't have patience for art rn#this is photobashed btw there's an actual photo of my typewriter under all those layers#i'm not about to spend 300 hours just to draw a typewriter from this angle kajshdjkasdh#ALSO ONE MORE THING CAN I JUST GUSH ABOUT THE ANASTASIA BROADWAY OKAY?!?!?!#I didn't realise until now that they made it way more historically inspired and i mean bruh BRUH#i have been having a recording of it playing on the background nonstop for like 3 days now#Vladimir Popov I want to inject you straight into my veins holy shit he is a perfect man
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Something I really love about the Silt Verses is how, in a world of gods and monsters, how grounded Faulkner's trauma [and relationship with his father] is. Especially as the season moves on, and the stakes amp up [and up] its so unexpectedly piercing to be presented with this exploration of childhood abandonment/negligence, inter-generational trauma, the indignities and stress that comes with unexpected elder care/early onset Alzheimer's. You're so locked in to these grander, more abstract concepts that your defenses are down! Mine were, anyway. TSV is so good at cutting its grand, complex plotlines with simpler [but not shallower] gutpunches, and it just grounds the whole thing.
#the silt verses#other moments on the list#[the list being small but emotionally devistating grounded moments]#include: the lights coming back on in the aftermath of the strike during hayward and carpenters conversation#and you just. intuit the devistation#after all that. after all the fighting and protest. the lights come back on. you can HEAR the screaming in the silence#Faulkner's whole elder care thing with his dad#where he has to reckon with him as a person who made mistakes#and put his own resolution aside to take care of a man he had complex feelings for#also the Faulkner's dad/trawlerman connection is crazy to me its crazy#oh you want to worship the god with the garden do you faulkner#you want to be this gods enterpriter and favorite#what did your father do again?#oh also the god rocket scene#where we are put in the place of a sacrifice#the claustrophobia! the fear! the tinned patriotic speech! the narrowing down to a needle point of the overall themes of the story#the fucking microcosm of it all!#all the sandwhich shop scenes#the whole hotel episode#charity in the pub running for her life because CARPENTER reappears#also love how interconnected everything is#both carpenter and page knowing von#running back into charity#fantastic writing all round it's all so fucking TIGHT my god#the prose is killer the pacing is killer the acting is killer the STRUCTURE is killer#its just a fucking masterclass of storytelling like its just. GREAT#top to bottom.#like the sheer skill involved in making something like TSV#on all levels#is incredible I really do admire it
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By the time cars were invented, Jonah Magnus was already well into the body hopping game, which raises the question: has he ever actually learn to drive? Did this man sit through driverâs ed? Or has he just been getting out of legal repercussions for his shit driving by telling the cops everything he knows about their deepest darkest secrets every time he gets pulled over?
#the magnus archives#tma#jonah magnus#elias bouchard#tma spoilers#au in which real elias is alive in there because Jonah needs someone who can tell him what the road signs mean#poor man is forced to spend the rest of his days as a literal backseat driver for a pseudo-immortal douchebag#perish the thought#Iâm sure someone has already asked this question by now but I canât stop thinking about it#some people have pointed out that he would ride the tube which makes sense too.#btw this post is 100% inspired by how much I used to fear for my LIFE any time i was in a car while my grandpa was driving#genuinely terrifying experience grandpa stop it please quit turning your entire body around to talk to me while Iâm sitting in the back sea#why are you driving with one foot for the pedal the other foot for the brake one hand on the steering wheel and NO EYES ON THE ROAD
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Let me assign you an affection language.
A Knife Called Grief You have left your house, you have left those people behind, but what are you going to do about the memories which have taken root in you? You can run but not without them. You want someone to sit with you on this cool marble floor while the sun burns everything.You want them to cut your rotten heart and theirs too. You want to sit with it in front of you, let them see you with all your flaws, which havenât been your fault but you have been made to believe so, and you want them to love you anyways. Because you know youâd do that for them.
[yoinked from iobartach]
#[inch resting]#ooc#dash game#[reminds me of a post I saw about Miguel's infidelity-- I can't find it anymore but basically it boiled down to#his betrayal of Gabriel and Xina being a sort of betrayal of himself. Now the OP was also trying to make sense of the comic's writing as it#also mischaracterized Xina (per their words)â but since Miguel knew Xina since they were young and she protected him from bulliesâ and#Miguel grew up shielding Gabriel from their parentsâ his betrayal and subsequent estrangement from them for someone newâ someone his brothe#lovedâ and also apparently supported Alchemax whereas Xina was much quicker to criticize itâ can be seen as Miguel trying to shove down the#vulnerableâ hurtâ HUMAN side of himself to make way for the idealized version he tries to protect as a corpo snob.#Which is an interesting viewpoint considering post-forcible-genome-splicingâ comics!Miguel was also desperate to prove his humanity. He see#himself as an abominationâ a freak. So how do we reconcile this with movie!Miguelâ who we admittedly don't know much of his mental state#other than he is basically having The Worst Fucking Day Of His Life Constantly due to grief and leading hundreds of Peter Parkers?#I guess in my own characterizationâ Miguel is trying desperately to shut down that vulnerabilityâ BE the inhuman juggernautâ the leaderâ#but at the same time timeâ esp post-BTSVâ is so ridden by his mistakes and sins and endless list of shortcomingsâ ALONG WITH the grief for#his daughter that he doesn't seem keen to heal fromâ that he's simultaneously trying to REconnect with that. Figure out what and who he is#outside of workâ outside of Canon Eventsâ outside of everything that Miles took and shook upside down. But that's difficult when#you're so determined to shut that down tooâ huh? Spider-Man can't do both. Not this time. Miguel is going to have to learn one day that he#needs to allow himself to FEEL human instead of constantly shutting it down or drowning it out. Maybe then he'll BE human again too.]#[đ» if you read this far; I fear this was largely incoherent]
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one thing I have to keep reremembering every time I'm playing a soulslike/similar kind of difficult game -- and that I wish I could internalize elsewhere in my life as well -- is that you always, always have to suffer through the long dark of an inexplicable failcringe era before you can emerge into a fresh new dawn of competence. faceplanting into humiliating failure in ways you hadn't even conceived of before on a loop can sometimes be the herald of great and wondrous things to come soon. don't be so quick to abandon yourself in the early murk of daybreak because you think you just suck!!!
#returnal out here reminding me of the great truths yet again#I am crying and screaming my way through the fractured wastes. I may have relinquished all dignity. but I am making progress#returnal#tbf I do find the grind weirdly comforting. this game is Doing something with the strange paradoxical comfort of misery#and it's doing it very well. fills the same 'knocking your head against a wall for the pleasure of it' depression niche#as farming for souls in formsoft games haha. we must imagine the bearer of the curse happy#it's the same thing I'm doing in real life but at least in games you get to see tangible progress within ten hours. not so in life I fear#the only part of the game I haven't loved so far is the nemesis boss fight but that kind of checks out considering what sorts of bosses#I normally struggle with. I love a dance partner boss I hate a 'so much is going on all the time all over the place what the fuck' boss#I could fight malenia for hours but when you fill my screen with noise I am frustrated and defeated lol#fight me man on man you COWARD!!!#thank god the game doesn't force you to replay bosses after you beat them the first time (though the others were kind of fun so)
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I promise you can speak about and denounce undesirable behaviour without attributing it to some in-born, immutable, unchanging trait that you must "civilize" away.
In this specific instance that inspired this, you really don't need to attribute bad behaviour that's done by a man with unchanging character traits. This isn't even solely about men, because doing this affects everyone, men included.
"Men needed to be civilized out of behaving this way!" Who are you expecting to be doing the civilizing and why? This is just defending the idea that women are responsible for training up men - the millenia-old idea that a man's failings are actually a woman's fault, not his.
As a man, I am responsible for my actions. You don't need to dehumanize me in order to preserve your misogyny and your need to hate a group of men. Don't get me wrong, this rhetoric absolutely is not good for men to face. It especially targets men who have experiences with marginalized identities. If you're on my page, you know that this is something I deal with personally, have personal stakes in that affect my life daily. I just also think we really need to remember that this issue exists in a context where women and other folks will inevitably be punished as a direct result of these ideas as well.
I need to make that last part emphatically clear: even if this rhetoric (somehow) only hurt men, it would still be wrong. It would still be wrong! I want to - as a man - remind people (especially those who already have decided to dehumanize entire groups of people) that nobody is safe from being exempt from punishment due to this rhetoric.
#feminism#politics#when you attribute behaviour to in-born traits you remove a person's agency and ability to make choices#and yes it is dehumanizing. the whole point of being a person is AUTONOMY#i fail to see how this wouldn't also just give shitty people an 'out' for their poor behaviour#you have given everyone a built-in excuse and punishing innocent people who may be affected by those poor decisions#so no i don't accept the In Their Nature argument as a valid or a praxis-led theory#you will ONLY hurt the people you claim to defend. you must start seeing behaviour as a CHOICE if you want to change this#as a man i recognize that i am a human. i MAKE choices. *I* affect the people around me#ME. not this bullshit idea that i must be trained out of in-born unchanging traits that fuel every tiny 'decision' i make#i do NOT need excuses or punishment because i am a 'threat' by being a man. i don't need that patronizing misogynistic bullshit#not to sound too passionate but the women i love in my life do NOT have a responsibility to 'train me'#i love and respect the women in my life too much to degrade them by expecting that from them#and in this case it WOULD be degrading because it relies on Woman As Eternal Caretaker and FORCES them to Train Men Up#because of the character limit in tags this is pretty restrictive but i am not JUST thinking about women in this case#but because this is kind of a tangent i want this to be optional#oddly enough the 'read more' tab is so annoying (i think) on mobile. it's so clunky and i hate using it if i don't NEED to#i'm just so deeply frustrated because i still see this so much and it scares me for many reasons#much of that fear is knowing that other people in my life will also be targeted by this despite Not being men...#but they are nonetheless fully intended to be targets of this rhetoric. they are not collateral damage they are INTENDED to also be affected
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i could KILL him for this. motherfucker's every interaction with children has him being, if not nice, then at minimum kind and forgiving and genuinely invested in their wellbeing.
he asks crying kids what's the matter, he's afraid to hold a baby because he's worried he'll drop it, he goes after people who are mean to kids without a second thought. his whole mentorship with timothy hunter is him trying to do right by that kid no matter how he feels about it at the time. man would be the most loving dad in the world but because of his own awful goddamn father and the ways he thinks he takes after thomas, he doesn't think that's true. i hate.
#this panel made me SPITTING mad for real he breaks my heart#the way his father fucked up his whole mindset and self-image is something that makes me so violent#me rattling the bars of my cage yelling about how the family man arc was a vessel for conveying constantine's fears about his father#how it made him feel responsible for his father's murder after his dad had called him the killer of his mother his whole life#then made him a literal killer which turned that childhood nickname into a self-fulfilling prophecy & his dad into an unintended oracle#how constantine has always been afraid of becoming his father and yet that's exactly who he had to emulate to survive the world of magic#and then vertigo gave him the fucking rosacarnis arc which made him unwillingly a dad and his kids killers. i'm unwell#i NEED john constantine to know how good a person he really is and how loved any kid of his would be#the one thing new 52 did right for him was making him genuinely loving and caring towards rose#instead of making him pawn her off on everyone around him. which i fear a lot of writers would make him do these days#i NEED him to know he's better than who raised him#they say mary anne constantine would have been a good mother if she'd lived and i think there's a lot of her left in her son#not that he'd ever believe it#hellblazer#john constantine#i'm very emotional about him right now#oxly hollers
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actually so evil how much of hal's internal world gets obliterated with the rewriting of his relationships with jessica and martin.
#hal jordan#empyrean posting#ok going in the tags because im not actually v confident in my understanding of his character. i read all of his 80s/90s stuff but forgot#90% of it but ANYWAY.#so much of him just does not make sense with how geoff johns characterises him and his relationships with his parents particularly the#parallax stuff simply because of how much his relationship with the guardians and their apathy/'betrayal' is influenced by hal's original#relationship with his dad. like at its heart it's pretty much the same dynamic in how hal blindly trusts and sort of idolises the guardians#despite their repeated infractions in hope of... something in return just as he had with his father and the abuse he suffered at martin's#hands. that's what makes his anger at the guardians make sense when it does show itself because the relationship parallel didn't stop there.#as with martin hal gets nothing for his devotion. he gets nothing for doing everything that's asked of him and more and it ends the same way#too: with a man in the sky burning like a newborn star. and you lose so much of that nuance and intrigue behind that if you just make#jessica the 'bad one' because!!! you cheapen it!!!!#the whole idea of hal is that he has his father's face but his mother's scars#(to me). in the sense that they both reacted to martin the same way with that cognisance of who he was as a man yet inability to pull away#because... love. both the love they had for him and the conviction that he did or could love them too. and jessica arguably did eventually#but also she didnt did she? because she held onto that notion of love till the very end. the few scraps she had she ballooned outwards until#they became the whole. but hal didnt have even that and he spent his whole life chasing it & running away from wanting it at the same time#like i think there's something so interesting to the fact that he had to be convinced that flying was what he wanted to do. how much of that#was touched by his father? the fear that he was already too much like him than he could bear to be? he already had his face now he had his#dreams and longing for the sky. how much more could he have before he began repeating the cycle?#and at the end he even had his father's death. burning in the clouds. like there's so much there and that's not even touching on how it#impacts his relationships with other heroes. not just in the sense of why did kyle clark and diana get to keep their close yet complex#relationships with their moms when hal had to lose his (although yeah why did they) but also just how he lets himself come across to them.#because it's on purpose right? that he lets them think his reflection of his father is born out of unadulterated love for a man worthy of it#? he has his father's job he wears his father's jacket he smiles his father's smile. what else are they supposed to think.#and isnt that interesting!!! that this man who is so committed to being good & just can lie so casually to people he thinks of as friends!!!#can you see how that might be his mother through and through!!! in how she might have glossed over the abuse to other people and herself!!!#can you see how in spite of it all he might want to be perceived as his father that paragon of masculinity and resent that he is not!!!#do you understand how everything he loves has been poisoned!!! im thinking of that scene where he tells bruce about watching martin die &#wouldnt it have been so much more interesting through this lens. how he is both revealing & obfuscating at once. i hate the change sm
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(grits teeth) it is still valuable to keep old work up to show progression over time
#some of these comments mf test me#bc like i know it is bad. and you know it is bad.#and i fight so so hard not to orphan stuff or delete it or make a new account#i think i have orphaned like. one or two works in my entire life#but likeđ#âreads like a 16 year old wrote itâ bc i was 16!! hope that helps#aw man. the Voices#honestly this goes for professional work too i have poetry and journal articles published that i am Not Happy about#i fear i just need to grow a thicker skin. iâve got this#sorry for complaining tonight guys the bookmarks put me in a Mood
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jay not asking coach about letting lonnie onto the team bc he doesnât want to do anything coach might disagree withâŠâŠ.
#âcoach trusts meâŠâ like what if i cried#man i wish they made more of a thing of jay being TEAM CAPTAIN#<- iâve made a post before abt how easily he gives it up & jay not liking positions of power etc etc#but i do think he treats the role like it could be taken away at any moment#coach TRUSTS him. holy shit coach trusts him#the first positive adult figure in his life trusts him to take care of the team#train them and critique them and lead them to victory#and coach probably wouldnât have cared abt lonnie being on the team#but jay is sooooo hesitant to ask#coming from the âif you want it take it and if you canât take it break itâ guy#like this is the one thing he doesnât want to risk breakingâŠâŠ.#and then obviously he gives it up!!!!!#he gives up the thing coach TRUSTED HIM WITH bc it was the only way to let lonnie on the team#& mr âmy only dislike is women being unhappyâ was like I CANNOT REST UNTIL LONNIE IS ON THE TEAM#itâs suchhhhh a sweet gesture not only from a hashtag feminism standpoint#but also character wise for jay#like this precious thing that coach has trusted him with but didnât really want that much anywayâŠ..#itâs going to mean more to lonnie if she had it. even though it means everything to jay#oh it makes me crazy#damn my mum was right. i think too deeply about things#im like i analyse things a normal amount and then iâm writing essays about 1 line from descendants 2#I AM UNWELL#anyway. jesus christ#descendants#jay son of jafar#EDIT iâm not finished actually#do you think jay fears the repercussions? what would happen if he went against coachâs word?#bc sure. he knows coach is nice. he knows auradon isnât like the isle#but. âyou donât want to be at my house at dinner timeââŠâŠ.#he is still scared of his dad. you know. he can never get the lamp he can never do anything right
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Interestingly enough, there are so many different views on why Ace didn't run away in marineford, despite the fact that Oda tried to provide an explanation. It feels like I have barely seen the same conclusion between two people.
#it feels like a math problem everyone found different ways to solve for themselves#for example I myself never took âLuffy was behind meâ as a direct parallel to mg#mf*#I think it's one of those cases where Oda wants you to think deeper#while yes Luffy was in danger during mf and while they were running he wasn't in direct danger at that moment#mf put the focus very obviously on wb#I find Ace turning back very connected to the scene of him sobbing at everyone trying to save him#this is a boy who was told he was worthless and unwanted all his life#because of Roger#and WB as someone who knew Roger well told him it just did not matter to him and in general#Ace made his own mistakes and disobeyed direct orders and still wasn't abandoned#(this also strongly differs from Garp's relationship with him)#and then when the man who gave him all of that was dying because he saved Ace#and when he was totally helpless and unable to save that man#Ofc the insult from Akainu would be triggering#and comparing the man he considered a savior to one he considered to had ruined his life too#a lot of people say the insult was too simple#I don't think what the insult was mattered at all#the nature of it was enough to get to him#I know ânever runningâ has always been in Ace's nature and a habit#but still the reasons aren't exactly the same#it's meant to show Ace's protective nature and his fear of losing those dear to him as Garp said#am I digging too far into this?#Am I making it deeper than it is?#maybe but this is just my take on it and what has convinced me#lulu rambles#one piece#portgas d ace#portgas d. ace
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