#that logic just really gets to me

[beraths-strongest-lil-soldier]

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idk why people just decide they get to invalidate someone else's identity when they are not the one with that identity and therefore don't know what they're talking about. just saw someone i otherwise respect reblog a post about how bisexual lesbian is an invalid term because each term has changed over time and claiming it's lesbophobic and biphobic to use the term [something something mutually exclusive experiences]. i usually call my orientation "queer" but i often use "bi lesbian" to make sense of my own experience. the tags of this post were full of people dunking on all imagined reasons someone may call themselves a bi lesbian, none of which reflect my own experiences and reasoning.

not that i should have to defend myself, but a lot of these comments were very fixated on the experiences of "liking only women" vs "liking both women and men." these categories obviously have social significance, but to me personally, romantically and sexually, these categories aren't super helpful. i cannot isolate traits of manhood or womanhood i find attractive. i'm into femme traits until i see a hot butch. i like certain chests, certain facial features, and any genitals. these traits don't map onto coherent binary genders very well. not to mention my attractions shift with my fluid gender. if i'm looking for a consistent pattern, i'm into gendernonconformity if anything. i guess i'm far more into women than i am men unless the man is a flamboyant twink but at the end of the day i'm not into either as much as i am a very specific weird collection of queer gender markers. (and pansexual had never seemed to fit the bill, because there are also many gender expressions and markers i am certainly unattracted to.)

does that really make me a biphobic bisexual? i wrestled with more shame at the idea that i was a lesbian, a stereotype threat for the bisexual community i love. the twink i married turned out not to be a man at all. i was struggling with worries about comphet for years because i loved them but our marriage didn't feel "right," and now that we're both practicing genderqueers it does. to me, that experience made bisexuality feel less like home than it had before. at the same time, finding like two men attractive excludes me from the lesbian community. is it such a sin to have found home in a term that made coherent my knot of comphet and dysphoria?

i realized, as many lesbians with comphet do, that i would probably never be happy in a relationship with a man, as in someone who self- identified as a man and embraced manhood. i also find astarion bg3 hot as fuck. i fail to see how these are mutually exclusive experiences.

can i guarantee that no biphobia or lesbophobia has wormed its way into my brain? of course not, but it is so strange that embracing both those terms brands you as someone who hates both. it's also strange to exclude people from terms on the basis of internalized shame. why care if some people call themselves bi lesbians? does it feel invalidating to you? that's your own work-- same as women who think afab nonbinary people are really just women who are ashamed of being a woman and therefore should continue living as "women". (ie it's not my job to choose an identity that you approve of or think is free of shame. you figure it out.) are you worried it invalidates us in the eyes of the heteros? i simply don't believe in policing our own terms to make cishets see us as more valid or understandable. it's disguised respectability politics, plain and simple.

all these terms for our identities are best fits and best guesses, grasping for connections under this big lovely queer umbrella. the person who reblogged that post is a nonbinary lesbian. why do the same people who accept the concept of a nonbinary lesbian-- a thing that should be impossible if the term "lesbian" has actually calcified as the post claims-- insist that "bisexual" and "lesbian" are concrete, immovable, and mutually exclusive identities? to be extremely clear, i support nonbinary lesbianism. it's valid. and it's a weird fucking line to draw, saying that the gender spectrum can support loosely-gendered lesbianism on the side of the beholder but not the recipients.

there was also a historical argument claiming that people are misinterpreting contexts in which bisexual lesbian was used circa early 20th century. and like... okay??? i found the term in a pdf zine from the 90's which interviewed self-identified bisexual lesbians, gleaning a bunch of different reasons for the label. some fell into the assumptions of the aforementioned post, eg bisexuals who were basically political lesbians. (i don't claim to support this stance, though i do still insist people can call themselves whatever they want.) many more summarized complicated stories like mine, people who did not fall neatly into either "mutually exclusive" category because, it turns out, gender is a fluid weird spectrum. bi lesbians whose attractions are bi and gender is lesbian. bi lesbians who were literally only into women except for one "man". bi lesbians who were trying to untangle comphet and so weren't sure which label, if either, fit. bi lesbians who liked to fuck any gender but only fell in love with "women". so anyway, fuck outta here with "history doesn't work like that" narrow target practice.

and even if that's true... again, words are evolving all the time. we've made words like sapphic and achillean to make some sense of gender. "lesbian" has on-off been used as a gender term for decades. we've invited nonbinary people into lesbianism and many understandings of gender into bisexuality. bi lesbian is another evolution of our language, and people have been shitty about it since at least the early days of DTWOF-- bechdel's characters struggled with all of the above since the 80's.

and what's the point of terms? to find community, self- identity, and sometimes practical utility, eg in the dating world. were i to date again (yikes), "bisexual" would not be a helpful self-descriptor for finding a romantic partner. lesbian would. if i wanted to hook up, bisexual would be more helpful than lesbian, and i'd have to root through lots of gender expressions anyway. so in terms of my self identity and finding communities of similar folk, "bi lesbian" is a super helpful term. if you are a bisexual or a lesbian and feel frustrated or confused by my term, that's because it doesn't apply to you. maybe just realize this isn't your thing and leave our community to explore our experiences. love you, see you later in the sapphic tags where we have things in common.

so anyway, i think it's pretty silly to see a term, imagine reasons you dislike for why someone may use it, and pitch a fit. my identity's legitimacy has no bearing on yours. leave us alone.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Thinking about marriage/women's rights on Vulcan Some may think that T'Pring not being allowed to divorce Spock was because he was going through the pon farr but if she were allowed to divorce him at all she probably would have done that a long time ago, confirmed by T'Pol when she's speaking with Koss, who isn't suffering from the pon farr. She says that he can choose another mate (without invoking a fight it seems: note the difference between a 'mate' and a 'challenger') and after he makes it clear that nothing she says will change his mind about marrying her, she finally threatens to declare a kal-if-fee. It's clear that Vulcan women cannot divorce/refuse to marry a man they've been betrothed to under any circumstances if A) He himself doesn't consent to ending their marriage or B) She doesn't have someone else waiting in the wings to be given to in his stead. Though, if the challenger she selects fails to win the fight, she'll have to marry her betrothed anyway unless (again) he decides he doesn't want her after the challenge. That seems like an incredibly unfair system, heavily biased towards men. SNW is an alternate universe in many obvious respects but most egregiously in that T'Pring has a lot of non-canonical agency over her relationship with Spock. It's interesting to me that Vulcan society has women in many positions of power and treats women as equal to men from what I've seen despite these laws. We don't really see Vulcans exhibiting a misogynistic attitude towards women in general but in TOS (perhaps because of its general writing style but it's still interesting to note) both Sarek and Spock take on patriarchal attitudes specifically regarding wives. Amanda says that 'of course' Sarek commands her because "he is a Vulcan and I am his wife." It's worthwhile in my eyes to note that she specifies 'wife' instead of attributing this attitude to women as a whole. Again, with TOS' writing style it wouldn't be out of place for her to say "he is a man and I am a woman." Spock, while in a pon farr induced irritation, states that it's "undignified for a woman to play servant to a man that isn't hers" - again implying that there's something specific about being a Wife in Vulcan society which is different from being a woman in general and demands subservience to a husband. This could perhaps stem from the extreme sense of ownership that Vulcan law has permitted men to have over women. A woman legally cannot point blank refuse marriage. There is no option which guarantees she won't have to marry her betrothed other than death. When T'Pau speaks of T'Pring she refers to her as being 'property' and Stonn, before being interrupted, states he's made 'the ancient claim' - we don't know what this is because he gets cut off but it's obvious they're both using the language of Vulcan law. Men are permitted true freedom to choose. If a woman wants to choose someone else to be with there is no option available to her other than the kal-if-fee which might result in the death of the one she wants to be with. And, if her lover fails, her husband can still just decide he wants to marry her and she'll be forced to. T'Pring gives two scenarios: One where Spock 'frees' her and one where he doesn't - it's still ultimately his decision which is clear when he ends the conversation with "Stonn, she is yours." This again isn't just because of the pon farr as T'Pol also goes through this. Koss can choose another mate and when the option is talked about there's no implication that this would result in any sort of fight (both by the casualness of its mention and by the fact that there's no formal word for it unlike the kal-if-fee.) Also, the fact that Koss does eventually grant T'Pol a divorce and it's all fine means that T'Pol isn't lawfully required to have another man waiting if her HUSBAND doesn't want her. It's ONLY required if SHE doesn't want her husband. Tradition must take precedence over individual desire UNLESS!!! You're a man. Then it's fine. Like, your parents might not be happy but legally you're golden.

[gunsatthaphan]

"do you like me?"

[fluffydeoxys]

OC stuff is dangerous wdym you just think about that guy and you feel things. You made that thing and it’s come such a long way like they’ve grown and fleshed out and you’re proud of them. And there’s an indescribable feeling of pride and tenderness and passion and fondness. That ☝️thingie is My Thing and I love them

[shepscapades]

Why does Ren have 4 ears? Are they all real or is one set fake?

Hehe I’ve gotten this question a lot actually! They’re all real— I like to think hybridization isn’t always a clean balance of traits, so Ren just unfortunately ended up with two sets of ears— his Dog ears being much more receptive to sound, naturally— and sometimes when the extra intake of sound is too overwhelming, I imagine he wears earplugs in his human ears to help adjust :> it’s a bit weird, but idk! i like to make designs funky and nonconventional! I liked the idea that Ren had hearing struggles due to wonky hybridization and just kept the concept :>

[clumsypuppy]

learning abt friendship decay and "not reaching out to your friends for months at a time unprompted is not neurotypical behaviour" has me feeling a certain way

[happi-dreams]

still trying to figure out how to exactly draw these lil guys so more doodles wahoo! ( plus oc woa- )

[tategaminu]

Everytime I see someone going "you can't ship [x] with [x] because they are [x sexuality] since their color palette matches [x flag]" I die a bit inside.

[vixendoesstuff]

I have a feeling that if every other incarnation of Prowl to ever exist were to meet their IDW counterpart, they would instantly hate him LMAO

Like, straight on ON SIGHT, hate. Especially for Cartoon G1, Animated and perhaps even Prime or Earthspark. Mr. I-drink-warcrime-juice is cancelled in the Council of Prowls, no questions asked

[hmsdoodlin]

I think we as a society need more Heart and Soul interactions. They have a lot of potential to be really interesting in BOTH fluff and angst.

Idk y’all but positive Heart and Soul dynamics are really nice. They deserve to be friends and love each other and bond.

They share the same night sky.

[vaguely-concerned]

walking through lucanis' mind prison. the tam lin of it all

[sittinginsunflowers]

my favorite part of the mayor logic twist is that it really is such a reminder that a lot of things can falsely present as logic. Mayor Logic wasn’t in it with the DA, or in the mob’s pocket, he was just a reflex pretending to be more important than he is. What your brain presents as “logic” isn’t always actually logical and logic can so easily be clouded that you can mistake the two for years. And that doesn’t make you a bad or unintelligent person, just because you have reflexes, habits, or triggers, that interfere with that logic.

It seems so small and superficial, but it means so much to have it reinforced by a story you love, that logic isn’t always what it seems and sometimes it takes some work to piece together what’s right.

[misterbenzadrine]

!!binary bfs ghosts au!!

this is mainly based on school spirits (specifically charley and yuri) but it's just not technically the main plot of school spirits so they're just ghosts :3

demetri alexopoulos (1951-1967)

died of anaphylaxis in the school cafeteria

relentlessly bullied for being gay (though he obviously never came out or even accepted that he was gay)

also bullied for being a nerd who couldn't physically do much

the gay kid that died from a nut allergy; that went over well with his reputation at school /s

in death, he kinda just sits in on stem classes or computer classes bc he's always really excited to see how much has evolved or changed through the years

he's secretly sad he never got the chance to explore the world of science and math and make his own discoveries

eli moskowitz (1973-1990)

died of asphyxiation after a panic attack in the greenhouse triggered his asthma

largely outcast bc of his scar and his "intimidating" energy (he has resting bitch face and is really trying not to have a panic attack every five seconds) (all of this is still true, even in death)

spent a lot of his time in hs skipping class due to anxiety and smoking to calm himself down

in death, he spends his time sitting in the band room playing a guitar

the other ghosts avoid him and think he only speaks hebrew and he lets them bc he wants them to leave him alone

he forces himself to only focus on smoking and playing his guitar, since anything else would force him to confront the reality that he's dead and a ghost for eternity

when they first meet, demetri makes a few bad science puns, thinking eli won't understand it anyway

eli corrects him since he said one wrong, and demetri has a totally normal reaction (he flinches and falls into the percussion section)

demetri comes back every day to figure out how much eli knows about science/math/engineering (a lot, he finds out) (it's just like a whole week or two of him going to the band room and yapping with him about stem stuff then wandering about the school every single day)

eli ignores everyone but demetri, even though they now all know he knows english

demetri indirectly convinces him to leave the band room ("the chemistry teacher on the second floor is pretty good but she sometimes forgets the formulas. you'd probably know more about that than me, though. it'd be nice for you to fact-check her when i sit there. but anyways-")

eli feels like he's exploding with nerves when he steps out of the band room for the first time in actual decades but the excited smile on demetri's face when he sits next to him in the chemistry classroom makes it worth it

they reverse-engineer some old computers together, do some experiments, practice balancing some chemical equations with leftover worksheets, etc.

they also figure out how to use a computer together ("i think i saw someone click this icon one time" "do i have to click here to type a question too?" "you literally know as much as i do. more, even. computers were barely being installed at nasa when i was alive.")

~~internalized homophobia~~ hits demetri hard and when eli makes the first move (for once !), demetri immediately shoots him down and runs off to the roof while eli retreats back to the band room

the other ghosts grow frustrated with them over the following week when demetri mopes in the basement hunched over the same telephone he keeps deconstructing and resetting day in and day out, and eli plays the same sad song over and over again (he also destroys his guitar and lets it reset on one of the days)

one of the other ghosts, miguel, coaxes demetri out of his burrow in the basement and has a LONG talk with him about what happened ("demetri, you've been here longer than most of us. you've seen how things changed. i know stuff was hard in your time but none of us are like that; eli really likes you, dude, and i know he makes you happy. what's stopping you from being happy?")

demetri visits the band room and nervously talks things out with eli, who stays quiet the whole time while he tries to control his breathing

they agree to take things slowly so demetri doesn't freak out about how other people will react

eli teaches him how to play some songs on his guitar (namely "sweet child o mine" bc that's one of my all-time favs) but demetri always prefers to hear it from eli

we need more binary bfs au's

[anniebanannie0]

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[love-too]

Hey little gay people in my phone, can you wish me good luck for tomorrow?

[charophyte]

In the selfship tags I keep seeing the sentiment of "of course I'm nonsharing, would you share your irl partner with someone else??"

Like... Yes. Yes I would. And I have. You being nonsharing is valid ofc but maybe don't assume everyone prefers "normal" monogamous closed relationships...