#that last tag might be shocking to some people but i feel like everyone knows by now that this is where good business comes from

[cheol-e-kat]

𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐞, 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭. 𝐜.𝐬𝐜

𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞𝐫

pairing: choi seungcheol x f!reader

summary: y/n’s ex has never fully left her life. but then again how could he when they’re both attorneys at top firms and constantly in opposition.

when they’re finally on the same side, can they let the past go to make a path for the future?

word count (teaser): 700

genre: exes to lovers, rivals, slice of life, attorney au, attorney!seungcheol, attorney!reader, there’s only one bed, idiots in love, *smut

warnings for teaser: none

a/n: lol if you guess my job - anywayyyy, i feel like this is more than the one shot i was imagining, so if you want to be tagged, leave a comment or use my tag list ^^ thanks to everyone for reading, kisses

⋆˙⟡♡ 𝒌𝒂𝒕

master list & tag list

Y/n had known Seungcheol for longer than she liked to admit, and in most instances, he was simply a thorn in her side. She represented people harmed by a company, and he was across the aisle, protecting the company who was completely responsible. 

Even if she was representing a company that had been harmed, their firms were never on the same side, therefore, they were never on the same side. And it didn’t help that they were painfully competitive, even as professionals. They ran against one another for board positions. 

And then there was who could write the most articles in their “spare” time. So far y/n was winning that one with two more publications than Seungcheol. Even if it meant not sleeping - she had more publications next to her name in the alumni publication for the last year. But he was always nipping at her heels. 

But then ‘it’ had happened. 

They had had one case where their firms were on the same side, meaning they were both stuck in some shit hole jurisdiction for weeks on end, with very little to distract them. Not to mention that they were both in the same hotel, which wasn’t shocking given there were two hotels in the whole place and they were booked out with attorneys, journalists, and experts. 

The ‘it’, though, was Seungcheol somehow ending up without a hotel room. Which, if what y/n had happened to hear in the elevator was true, there was some asshole at seungcheol’s firm who was looking to make his life miserable. 

Y/n didn’t love that - ruining Seungcheol’s life was her job. 

She still had his number from when they had first met in college, when they might have been something - she texted him.

[Y/n]

Need a room?

She had waited for him to ask who was texting. She assumed he had deleted her number.

[Cheollie]

How do you know about that?

She rolled her eyes.

[Y/n]

Is that really the important thing?

[Cheollie]

You magically have a room?

[Y/n]

It’s an offer to share but I would suggest you don’t bunk with whatever his name is - the blonde with horrifying bowties - he might actually hate you

She had watched dots - and dots - and then they died away.

[Cheollie]

What room?

જ⁀➴

She had opened the door when he knocked. He looked just exhausted enough to have accepted without too much pressure, which she thought was maybe actually good for him since he, realistically, had no other choice.

She had let him in, glad that she had sprung for the largest room she could. It meant there was a bed and a small sofa, which she imagined Seungcheol could fit on, admittedly, with problems, but that wasn’t her concern.

“Bad flight?” she asked.

He flopped on the tiny sofa, “Fucking shit flight and a four hour layover with no restaurants,” he grumbled. 

“Sorry,” she patted his head as she went to get ready for bed in the bathroom. 

When she came out, she noticed that he was already asleep and looking especially too large for the sofa he had taken without even asking her.

She felt a little bad, but not enough to wake him up. His flight sounded awful - why not let him sleep, she thought to herself. 

She sat up, looking through some files, until she was having trouble keeping her eyes open. She decided it was time for bed, which was just in time for Seungcheol to roll off the tiny sofa, landing with a soft thunk. 

She couldn’t help the snort that escaped her. She watched him sit up, eyes barely open, and his rumpled hair. ‘Cute,’ that was what she immediately thought - how cute he looked. It was the one consistent thing she always felt about him - he was unquestionably cute.  

“Seungcheol,” she saw him glance at her, “just come here.” She patted the empty half of the bed next to her. 

She knew she didn’t sound the appropriate level of exasperated, but she didn’t really care. It wouldn’t be the first time they had shared a bed. 

She was glad that he didn’t argue - he just flopped in the bed the way she remembered. But when she woke up to realize their limbs were tangled and his arm was around her waist, she stared into space, trying to decide if she would elbow him or not. But her thoughts were interrupted. 

“Y/n,” his voice was so soft and close. 

She didn’t move - she wasn’t sure what would happen next. But he just moved closer, his breath warm at the nape of her neck.

“Missed you,” he mumbled.

a/n: i actually started this fic like a month ago, and idk the new hugo boss photo is way too perfect for this banner skskss he’s such a mood

⋆˙⟡♡ 𝒌𝒂𝒕

♡ my [master list] if you want to read more

♡ if you want to be tagged in my posts, go [here] - if you want to be tagged in this fic you can leave a comment or the tag list form

𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐨𝐥 𝐛𝐲 𝐦𝐞 ^^

angst - [ a ] || fluff - [ f ] || smut - [ s ]

teasers: all but break your heart |୨୧| tonight tonight

drabbles: co-worker & spanking [ s ] |୨୧| gamer boy [ s ] |୨୧| professor one [ s ] | valentine's day [ f ] #kat_drabbles

fluff: profound, not sudden [ f ]

smut: see bingo series above and random slutty thoughts collection

series: obvious affection [ pt. 1 f ] [ pt. 2 f & s ] |୨୧| 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒖𝒑 𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 [ pt. 1 s ] [ pt. 2 s ] |୨୧| 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒇. 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒊 [ pt. 1 s ] [ pt. 2 s ] |୨୧| 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 [ pt. 1 s ] [ pt. 2 f & s ] [ pt. 3 f & s ]

seungcheol bingo [warning all smut]: knotting + marking | professor (prof. choi, pt. 1) | monster | spanking (neighbor seungcheol) | big dick + hate sex | forced masturbastion (prof. choi, pt ii) | voyeurism + punishment | coffee shop au + forbidden relationship (never let you go pt. 1) | bodyguard + drunk confession | anon sex + hair pulling + mask wearing | big dick!cheol + hate sex (choose your own adventure) | sexual frustration + ex sex |

omegaverse (a/b/o): alpha seungcheol [pt. 1 s] [pt. 2 s] || never let you go [master list] [part 1 f & s] [part 2 f ] ||

[ taglist ]

☁︎ @syluslittlecrows [e] ☁︎ @gyuguys [e] ☁︎ @tinyelfperson [e] ☁︎ @unlikelysublimekryptonite [e] ☁︎ @livelaughloveseventeen [e] ☁︎ @codeinebelle [e] ☁︎ @ateez-atiny380 [e] ☁︎ @mingcouper [e] ☁︎ @hanniebub [e] ☁︎ @perfectiondazesworld [e] ☁︎ @scoupshawty [e] ☁︎ @peachytokki [e] ☁︎ @coupsbestleader [e] ☁︎ @fleurloovin [e] ☁︎ @babybae-shisui [e] ☁︎ @asyre [e] ☁︎ @dcrlingyou [e] ☁︎ @yeosayang [e] ☁︎ @nanabananananabatman ☁︎

☁︎ @haik-chu [e - one/multi] ☁︎ @gigglensnort [e - one/multi/priv] ☁︎ @thepoopdokyeomtouched [e - multi/priv] ☁︎

☁︎ @liaaya-17 [c.sc - multi] ☁︎

[baorisa-hieroglyphica]

furaffinity recently added tag blocking/a blacklist after all this time and this plus the fact that you can just straight up remove access from underage users and/or people without an account unironically has made it one of the best sites for artists i think but nobody will ever fully move there because its the furry porno website

[lady-djarin]

on my radar

joel miller x f!reader (one shot)

warnings/tags: edited very little so sorry! dual pov, jackson era dark!joel, SMUT (oral fem receiving, p in v), stalker behavior from mr miller, age gap (50s/20s), joel is kind of a creep but reader is kinda into it, murder off screen, cannon typical violence, men harassing women (a guy is gross with reader/unwanted touching etc) NO R*PE, possessive talk and nicknames (mine, love, my girl, good girl etc), reader can be lifted by mr big man joel but otherwise no really specific details about readers body other than the usual fem. 18+ minors be gone!,

word count: 5.8k

* ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

YOU

You almost dropped it twice, your gloved fingers slipped around the smooth metal of the gun as you fumbled to pull the trigger. The clicker was quickly stumbling toward you even on its one and a half limbs. You and your patrol partner got separated when a small swarm of the dead caught you both off guard in a densely wooded area . As you were trapped in a corner of a hunting shed by the crawling thing, you felt your heart rate begin to rise and the feeling of dread set in that this might be your last moment.

You saw the blood hit your gloves before you even heard the blade hack into its head. Then the body hit the floor.

You looked up to find your patrol partner standing there with a machete clutched in his hand. He was looming over you with a look very close to anger creasing his brows and his chest heaving in exhaustion. He grabbed the gun out of your hand and grabbed your arm to pull you away from the writhing body. He hacked the large blade into the neck to fully decapitate the head then stabbed into the ear to finally kill it.

“Do you even know how to use this thing?” His voice had an edge to it, like he was mad, or scared as he held up the gun in your face.

You looked at him with tears brimming your lash line, the cold was seeming to freeze them before they tried to fall down your cheek. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Have you ever been on patrol?” His eyes narrowed as they scanned your face, then your body.

“No.” Your mouth was so dry.

“Who sent you on patrol!? What the hell…,” he grumbled as he turned away. “I asked you a question.” He shot another nasty glare your way when you didn’t answer.

His statement kind of shocked you, not a lot of people are blunt like that.

“Uhm, I asked Tommy, I wanted to help.”

“Fucking Tommy, sticking me with a kid.”

“Hey I might be new to this but I'm not a kid,” you chased after him and that didn't help your defense.

“Jesus…,” he was grumbling again and marching away, toward where you hid the horses. The two of you set out on patrol a couple hours before, your first time outside the gates in Jackson. You had heard rumors about Joel, people said he was ‘rough around the edges but good people’. You had seen him around the community and wondered if he was someone you could get along with. He seemed like he was an outsider, kind of like you. When you learned you were partnered with him you figured it was going to be difficult, but this was a little much.

You were on your way through the state trying to get to where your dad lived in Sundance when you ran into some trouble near their camp and they took you in until you recovered. They stitched you up after they found a nasty gash on your ribs when you were discovered fighting off a pack of stalkers. After arriving at the Jackson community, you learned that Sundance was completely overrun. The sparse community there hunkered down in their homes after the outbreak but with the large swarms that came through the area, pretty much everyone fled and went their own ways. You could barely stand the thought that your dad was caught in the middle but he was strong, he could find his way out.

He had to.

So you remained in Jackson, becoming a part of the community, and everyone in the community had to help out somehow. You felt indebted to Tommy and the community for helping you and making you feel at home here after your recovery. That's why you wanted to go on patrol, you felt like you could help. Joel clearly didn't agree.

That last fucking thing he wanted to do was teach some rookie how to handle themselves on patrol. He was pissed and you could see it in the tense bunching of his shoulders as he rode on in front of you. You felt kind of bad for having Joel take care of you back there but he didn't have to be such an ass about it.

“Hey,” you rode up next to him. “Look I know I'm not who you wanted to be on patrol with but just give me a chance ok? I'm just trying to do a job here.”

He barely looked your way, he just kind of grunted before urging his horse over the final path into Jackson.

Alright then.

You didn't see those broad hunching shoulders for a couple days after, though he clearly had been talking about you. Tommy took you off patrol so Joel obviously made his concerns clear to his brother. When you did see him it was from across a room or passing in the street, but even in brief passes it felt like a tension was always present. His brows would bunch in the middle as he scanned you. It always felt like a judgment maybe, or some kind of disgust the way he would observe you. You quite honestly thought he hated you.

JOEL

You looked cute when you were mad, actually to Joel you always looked cute. Your cheeks were pink with the morning cold, your breath steamed in the air as you huffed through your nose. You were mad because he was ignoring you, and he was ignoring you because he was scared shitless when he came into that hunting hide and found you cornered by one of the dead. It scared the living shit out of him to think about how you were almost torn apart.

He doesn't remember the exact day that he started to care a little too much about you, it was a slow thing. It took over his life, watching you as you became integrated into the fabric of the town. The people of Jackson welcomed you and you welcomed them right back. People loved you and you got along with pretty much everyone. He started to notice you when he saw you and Ellie chatting about something girl related in the mess hall. He noticed how you seemed to genuinely invested in your conversation with Ellie, hanging on to her every word. Next thing he knows he's thinking about you every waking hour, and you haunt most of his dreams. It feels like you are a presence in his chest that he can't carve out and he has tried.

Joel had tried to occupy himself by relieving the tension himself, trying to dissolve the desire he had for you. It didn't work, of course, but he couldn't help himself.

He refused to actually make any kind of relationship with you, he felt like it would look inappropriate. He was a grumpy gray haired man and you were young and bright, he felt like he would be too rough for you anyway. He was a broken man, his hands were dirty with death and guilt and blood. He could see the innocence in your eyes, the way you smiled with your whole heart when talking to people, especially someone he cares for.

Maybe those were the moments he truly started to have real feelings for you, seeing the way you cared for Ellie. Everytime he would see you it made his heart skip a beat, it almost confused him at first, like his heart was waking up from a decades long nap. His chest hurt with how intensely he was starting to ache without you near, it only ever stopped when he saw you or felt you close or smelled your shampoo as you walked by. It was the same as everyone else as there was a lady in Jackson who made everyone soap but still when it lingered after you it smelled like heaven to Joel.

All that to say, Joel still felt like it was wrong to pursue you. You were and always will be the one that got away.

He needed to stay away.

YOU

It had been a couple weeks or so, maybe longer since you saw those grumpy brown eyes. You had started to miss him, as painful as it was to admit. Even though he was barely a colleague, definitely not a friend, you were missing the way… he was mean to you? No, that can’t be right. Why would you miss a man that is anything but nice around you?

Tommy had found you another job working at the local watering hole/dining hall, as the patrol thing clearly wasn’t going to work. He was walking you around the hall, introducing you to the people you would be working with when you heard a familiar voice.

“Hey Tommy, you here?”

“Yea Joel, in here.”

Shit.

“Oh hey Joel…” You wanted to keel over and die.

”H-hey.” He seemed… odd.

They chatted about something security related and you were introduced to the hall supervisor. As you talked on one end of the room, Joel and Tommy were on the other and it felt like neither of you could look away from the other. Your eyes kept finding each other, each time it felt longer and longer, like the world was falling away. It felt much different than the last time you spoke, like he might not actually hate you. It was an odd feeling, having his eyes on you, he was almost predatory.

Even as he looked over what felt like every couple seconds, he still had this pinched, angry look on his face.

But it was hard to look away. Joel was mesmerizing but you knew deep down he could never be interested the way you would want him to be. He was a grumpy older man that wanted nothing to do with the new young girl in town.

You didn’t see him for a while after that.

JOEL

Joel Miller was by no means a good man. A good man wouldn’t be watching you like this, following an unsuspecting woman around town. A good man wouldn’t watch you as you walked around the Jackson streets, minding your business, talking to your new found friends.

Ever since seeing you again at the dining hall he couldn’t rid his mind of you, as hard as he tried. He knew he would ruin you if you let him, if he even got one taste he would be addicted. Not like he wasn’t now, leering at you talking to patrons at your job. He felt dirty in a way, like he wasn’t allowed to look, not allowed to have the urge to bash in the head of any man who looks at you wrong. Like the guy you were helping now, Mike, every time you turned away to get him what he asked for, he could see his slimy gaze caressing your curves.

He felt like he was going crazy, not being able to be near you like he truly wants. He wasn’t sleeping well, barely eating enough to keep him upright and almost missed patrol on more than one occasion. His mind was playing tricks on him, he would find you in dreams, wake up to find you cooking breakfast in his kitchen or walking hand in hand down the streets of Jackson. The cruel reality that he would never have that always hit him hard in the morning when the sunlight came streaming over his bedspread.

He often found himself turning over, searching for you.

Sometimes they were nightmares, visions of you being attacked by the dead or one of Jackson’s very own.

That’s why he was here, making sure you were safe from the dangers of this world. It was his job.

He was there until you got off work, gathering your belongings and heading out the door when Mike popped around the corner. Joel was immediately on high alert, watching the man’s every move as he advanced on an unsuspecting you. He stalked after the two of you, staying just out of sight. His blood boiled when he saw Mike call after you.

She’s mine, he thought.

He stayed across the street, just in case things went sideways. In case he put his hands on what didn’t belong to him.

“Hey! Saw ya leaving work, how was your night?” Ok, nice enough but Joel knew he was clearly waiting for you to leave work.

“It was ok, just tired and ready to go home.” You were being polite but clearly trying to convey that you were going home, alone. That’s my girl.

“I’d like to talk to ya though, ya know i’ve seen ya ‘round and think you’re real cute. Come on, please? One chance?” He’s persistent, that's for sure. Walking the line there, Mike.

“That’s sweet but I’m not really looking for anyone right now, I just got here a few months ago…” You kept walking and you kept your eye contact away from him, smart girl.

“If you give me a chance I’ll show ya I’m worth it. I promise baby.” You were not his baby.

“I’m not your baby, Mike. Please, I just want to go home.” You turned towards him now with determination in your tired eyes.

Mike clearly wasn’t hearing you, or just not caring because as you tried to turn away he grabbed your arm and pinned your back against a wall.

He’s dead.

YOU

I’m dead. This stupid asshole is going to kill me. Your mind was racing as you looked for ways out. Mike’s front was almost completely pushed against yours now as he trapped you against the brick wall. You could now smell the alcohol on his breath now that he was on top of you. You tried to break free, maybe he was drunk enough where you could shake him off. You could tell that wasn’t the case when he groaned in delight.

“Mhmm, keep doing that baby. I like feeling ya move that pretty body.” You wanted to puke, his greasy beard and sour breath was assaulting your space. You froze your body in an attempt to get him off you but he leaned in, trying to capture your lips. You whipped your head to the side and squeezed your eyes shut trying to block out whatever he might do next. Only, when you expected his lips or something on you, there was nothing. His entire weight was gone and you almost slumped to the floor in relief. When you opened your eyes, there was nothing, no one in sight, not even a sound. Mike was nowhere to be seen, nor was anyone else. If you weren’t so relieved that the creep was gone, you’d be freaked out. It felt like one of those eerie horror movies you watched before the word turned into one itself.

You weren’t really sure what else to do other than go home. You walked the quiet streets towards your small house and barricaded your door that night, just to be safe.

…..

“Have you heard?! I can’t believe it!” Angela’s voice shook you out of your tired daze. No matter how you tried to occupy your mind or sleep last night you couldn’t shake what Mike did to you. “It was Mike! That’s who it was that was found behind the dinner hall.”

Mike? Did you hear her right?

“Wait, Mike, like creepy Mike?”

“Yes!” Angela never learned how to not raise her voice.

Mike was dead. He was dead behind where you worked after he assaulted you. That seemed… convenient. Did that make you a bad person?

“They are calling everyone to the town hall for an announcement.” This was the only time they have done this in the short time you’ve been here.

Everyone walked over and filled the hall wall to wall. Tommy, Maria and a few other members in charge of running Jackson stood on the stage of the building that looked to once be a school auditorium, including Joel. Your eyes caught him up there as soon as you walked in, recognizing his brown curls anywhere. Tommy walked up to the top of the stage and everyone immediately quieted down, they clearly respected him.

“Hey ya’ll… Uh, unfortunately it's not good news that calls us together today.” He was clearly nervous. “One of our own is gone, Mike Walton. Now I know in this world losing someone happens more often than we would expect but this one is different. It happened in our walls and we think, committed by one of our own.”

Murder. He was killed. Fuck.

The crowd was starting to murmur and quietly panic. You felt responsible somehow, like you being the last one to see him, you think, meant… something. You had to tell them what happened last night, if only to make sure they know now instead of finding out some other way. So they know you're not hiding anything.

You stayed after the crowd cleared, listened to Tommy assure everyone that they are safe and he is putting security measures in place. You went up to the stage and caught Maria’s attention, you felt comfortable with her and maybe she would be more understanding. She really helped you assimilate when you recovered and felt kind of like a sister in a way.

“Hey sweetie, how ya doing?”

“I need… I need to tell you something.”

She took you to a more private area and you told her what happened the night before. She listened dutifully as you recounted your story and it really made it strangely better to talk about it. It was by no means easy to forget but knowing someone was listening helped. After you finished and she gave you a reassuring hug, she brought you back to Tommy… and Joel.

“Ok hon, I will need to tell Tommy about this, I’ll only include the necessary things.” You nodded knowing you could trust both of them with the news. “Joel, would you be able to walk her home? I don’t want to take any chances here.” Maria did say to you privately that she was going to treat this as if you were in danger in some way, in case this turned out to be about you.

He only nodded in your direction, extending his arm, signaling you to lead the way. You walked the streets, the silent tall man trailing behind you. You stopped so abruptly that Joel backed up in surprise.

“I don’t need you walking behind me like a bodyguard.”

“Where should I walk?” His voice dripped with something dark.

“W-well…I don’t know, next to me like a normal person?”

All he does is silently walk up to you and nod forward urging you on. You kept walking, feeling Joel’s arm brush up against yours and the tension was building before either of you said anything. You arrived at your building in silence and he walked you up the steps, more than you were expecting from the distant man. You paused as you opened the door and realized something, if Maria is right and someone is after you, they could be in your house.

“Y’ok?” His voice was low and rough.

“Uh… actually, no. Joel, would you be able to come in… and uh, check it out? Just to make sure, I don’t know…someone’s not— not in there?”

You swore his eyes softened at your nervous request, maybe he felt bad. He followed you inside and had you wait by the door as he surveyed the rest of the house. He came back within only a few minutes and you were relieved it was quiet in the house.

“You’re all good here darlin’,” he stood by the kitchen counter almost like he was avoiding leaving.

But you didn’t want him to leave.

JOEL

He knew no one would be in your house, there was no one after you. Except him. He saw Mike put his hands and other parts on you and something flipped in his brain. He went feral and had been looking for an opportunity to take this guy out. He was a menace to the community but Tommy said there was no legitimate reason. Usually he wanted a blatant offense to take action or even exile someone. Mike was sneaky, that was the problem, he was good at hiding his deplorable behavior towards women behind being friendly with most of the male Jackson population.

Joel was so sick of it, and he likes to pretend that’s why he was there that night, not that he couldn’t keep his eyes off you. For weeks now he had been everywhere you were, coincidence of course. He needed to make sure that you were safe, that someone would be there for you. Even if he couldn’t have you, he needed to watch over you. You had completely consumed his life, every waking and sleeping hour he had his mind on you.

The worst of it he thinks was a few weeks into his obsession, he found himself across the street from your house, crouched in the bushes like a maniac. He watched your silhouette as you turned about the room, picking things up, gathering our belongings and just generally going about your home life. It was so magical to him to see you living your life unencumbered by the burden of how cruel people can be. He had to make sure no one took that from you.

He was pulled from his thoughts by your sweet voice. “Joel? You ok?”

“Y-ya sorry, what did you say?”

“I asked if you wanted a drink.”

“Oh, uh- sure sweetheart.”

He watched you go over to a cabinet and pull out a dwindling bottle of something dark that made his mouth water. You had good taste.

That's my girl.

You slid over the glass with a small amount of whiskey and you each sipped it slowly.

“Thanks for walking me home, I really appreciate it.”

“No problem darlin’, but I'm sure you’re safe. No one’s gonna hurt ya.”

“Sure doesn’t feel that way.”

YOU

“I promise you, no one will ever…ever hurt you again.” The way Joel said it, it was like he had murder in his eyes. He was so intense that you believed him, like he would protect you. You felt a thrill pass down your spine from his gruff voice. He was always a rugged man with his height, his broad shoulders and intimidating dark eyes but now, he looked downright deadly.

For a minute you worried that Joel could be responsible— no he would never. Even if he did, could you really be upset at him making this community safer? Did that make you a bad person?

He was looking at you like prey he wanted to devour. It made your pulse race, it made your core throb. The tension had been growing since the walk back and it was evident to both of you. Joel circled the kitchen counter to come right in front of you. Both your glasses forgotten, he caged you in with his hands on the counter bracketing your hips. Without a word he brought a hand up to cup your cheek, his calloused skin caressed your skin much lighter than you were expecting. The only sound in the house was your heavy breathing as he stared down at you. You couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something off about Joel. Not necessarily bad but just something sharp and scary, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care as he slowly leaned down to hover his lips over yours, asking for more.

Even if Joel was a bad man, fuck it.

You leaned up slightly to meet his lips and all self control went out the window. His hands were all over you in a second, hips pressed into yours as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. Your head spun as he licked into you and nipped at your bottom lip causing a whimper to escape your lungs. It all became very frantic as he lifted you up onto the counter and bit and kissed his way down your neck. You knew there would be evidence of it the next morning and it kind of excited you to know you’d have Joel’s marks on you. His greedy hands were groping and squeezing every inch of you and you couldn’t get enough. With your own shaky hands you tried to unbutton his shirt but Joel stopped you.

“R’ya sure baby girl?” You swore you felt slick dripping down your inner thighs. “Jus’ gotta tell me and I’ll stop, ’k?”

All you could do was nod.

“I need words.”

“Y-yes,” you practically moaned.

“Good girl.” Fuck, his voice. Your hips rolled forward on the counter, trying to gain any friction. Your clit was pulsing with need and both of you were getting impatient. “Thank god, otherwise I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.” He mumbled it almost to himself.

You gasped as he pulled off the counter and led you up the stairs in silence. Any other person would think he was angry but you knew, he was anything but. He led you to your bedroom and it briefly dawned on you that he was leading you there, he knew where your bedroom was. There was always something intense about Joel, you knew that from the start, it's one of the reasons you were drawn to him. But due to recent events you were starting to question just how depraved he might be. You hated to assume anything but you somehow knew deep down that he was the one who… saved you from Mike. That’s what it was, he saved you from being killed, or worse.

Once in your bedroom Joel turned and pushed you against the wall, attaching his lips to your neck.

He hummed deep in his throat, almost a moan. “Mhmm, darlin’ you are so sweet. Y’smell so good.” He was mumbling into your throat, half kissing, half biting. You were each pulling clothes off the other, desperate to feel skin. When Joel had you completely bare for him, you tried to cover yourself, mostly out of habit.

“You… you are perfect baby.” His eyes dark with desire as he pulled your hands up his mouth and kissed your knuckles. “Don’t cover up, I wanna see ya.” He pulled your hands away as he backed you up to the bed and gently pushed you back onto the soft quilt. You stared up at him, taking in his form, he was still in his jeans but bare from the waist up. You admired his graying hair that led below his belt, mouth watering at the bulge underneath. Before you could reach for his belt, he looped his strong arms under your knees and pulled your butt toward the end of the bed. With cracking knees he knelt in front of the bed and his face became level with your dripping core. His eyes were locked on you, his lips almost matching the way you drooled between your legs.

“Joel—,” you were unable to form words, the breath perpetually caught in your throat.

“Shhh, I know hon, I gotcha,” his voice was lower than you ever heard it, something dangerous simmering below the surface.

“Joel, wait—,” he moved up your body at your request. “I just… I’m confused,” you were shaking and out of breath but you needed to ask him. “I thought you didn’t like me… it’s just every time we would see each other you seemed to avoid me at all costs and now…”

“The only reason I was acting like that was because I liked you��� too much.” His eyes hovered directly over yours, deep pools of obsidian overtaken with the desire. “I thought I was protecting you, from myself. But I… I,” he almost seemed nervous in a way, but there was still the underlying grumble of anger in his chest.

“What?”

“I see now that I have to protect you from everyone else.” He said it with such a darkness settled over his face, and it took you a minute to register what he was admitting.

He killed Mike. Holy shit.

Your whole body froze and you felt your eyes widen and breath pick up. But you also had this deep feeling in your gut, was that arousal? Were you attracted to this? That dropping feeling in your stomach told you that you were. Jesus, did that make you a bad person? Fuck it.

You grasped your fingers through his hair, pulling him down to you as you attached your lips to his.

JOEL

You were a vision, puffy lips wet from kissing, eyes blown wide as your chest heaved. “You protected me?”

Oh, fuck me.

“Of course baby girl,” he needed you to know this was all for you. He was yours and you were his. “No one will take you from me.”

He worked his way down your body, kissing and nipping his way to your center again. He spread your legs and stared into your dripping folds as he got onto his knees again. You whimpered and moaned his name and he relished the sounds, he loved hearing and seeing you react to his touch. He wanted nothing more than to hear you scream his name.

“I wanna feel ya’ cum on my tongue darlin’,” he loved the way your pussy drooled for him. Joel felt like a man starved, like he was finally seeing water after a year in the desert. He licked a broad stripe up your folds then sealing his lips around your clit and sucking. You screamed and he felt your thighs wrap around his head only spurring him on further. He pulled your legs in front of him and pushed to the mattress, opening you up further for his enjoyment. When he worked two fingers into you, he knew you were close based on your shaking and whimpering.

“I-I’m so close baby,” you sounded so cute, so desperate. “I need— please Joel.”

He wanted you to fall apart, speeding up his movements he knew it wouldn’t be long now. He curled his fingers while lapping at your clit, he felt your walls flutter and tighten around his fingers.

“Cum for me angel.”

You broke. Joel’s fingers were covered in your juices and you screamed his name as you came. He kept up his movements to prolong your pleasure, he reveled in the way your legs shook with overstimulation.

“Oh… my god,” you sighed as Joel crawled his way back up to your face, slotting himself between your legs.

YOU

He entered you slowly. You could feel every vein and edge of him and you were thankful he readied you with his fingers because Joel was not a small man. He started slow, presumably for your benefit, but soon his pace picked up and the crown of his dick was hitting a spot inside of you that made you see stars.

“Fuck— You feel so good,” he puncuate each word with with his hips, each time driving you up the bed. You grabbed onto his shoulders, trying to gain leverage but you were unable to do anything except take his brutal pace. He was past holding himself back now, you swore you felt him in places you never thought possible. You recognized somewhere in the back of your mind that letting the man who… murdered someone for you fuck you into your mattress might be a bad move. Too bad he was too good at it for you to care. You felt the coil of your orgasm tightening in your lower stomach as Joel leaned back, looming over you like a dark angel.

“I want you to touch yourself,” he pulled one of your hands towards your clit. “Cum for me baby.”

You pressed and circled your fingertips into the bundle of nerves, your pleasure just seconds from cresting. Joel must have felt it because he gripped your hips and pulled you into his lap, picking up his pace and punching into your g-spot.

“Oh fuck!— I’m gonna cum baby…plea—,” you couldn’t even get the rest of the word out as your orgasm crashed into you. You think you might have blacked out as your vision went blank for a moment and you think you heard yourself screaming. Joel kept up his pace and rode you through it all.

“Mmm that’s it, that’s my good girl…,” his voice was low and gravely in your ear when he leaned over, pushing almost all his weight on top of you while he chased his high.

“P-please Joel, cum inside m-me,” his harsh movements made it hard to talk, hard to breathe. You didn’t care though, you were desperate to feel him finish inside you.

“Inside you baby? Ngh, tha—that’s my good gi—,” he didn’t finish his sentence either as he almost collapsed on top of you. You wrapped your legs around his hips and held him there as he filled you up. He grunted and groaned in your ear as he came down, he pulled out slowly making sure you were comfortable and kissed his way down your neck and chest. “Stay here baby.” You laid there unable to move and watched his naked form as he found your bathroom with ease and came back with a warm washcloth. As he cleaned you, you recalled his words, ‘my good girl’. His.

“Joel?” He didn’t respond with words, only hummed at you to continue while he cleaned your inner thighs. “Did you mean it? I’m…,” you were hesitant to speak it, what if you were wrong? What if it was something he said in the heat of the moment. You felt the bed dip and he settled beside you, towel discarded.

“Use your words honey, what’s on your mind?” He moved a bit of hair out of your face and waited patiently for you to continue.

“I’m yours? Not just tonight.” You met his gaze with timid eyes.

“Yes, of course. Y’have been since I first saw you.” He kissed you deep, lips prying yours apart. “I protected you, remember? I wasn’t gonna let anyone hurt you, especially not him.”

He looked at you with nothing but truth in his eyes. He really did kill Mike, holy shit. He did it for you. In this world maybe you could rest easier knowing you had someone to protect you like that. Joel may be a scary man, but you had nothing to fear for yourself with him around. You slept that night more soundly than you had in ten years. wrapped in the strong arms of a man who chased your nightmares away.

[ambrosiagoldfish]

Adam x third spouse part 3 I’m begging pookie ❤️

like a time skip to when Charlie appeared and proposed the idea

Benifit of the doubt Pt.4

Adam x 3rd Spouse! Reader

Warnings: General Adam TW’s, a little bit sad for a moment but it’s ok. Gn! Reader! honestly that’s about it I think?? Wow this is the first time it’s been this short in this series.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3.

Request Box: Open

Word Count: 4617~

A/n: So… it’s been almost 2 months… whoops. In all seriousness though I’m sorry it’s been so long. I’ve just not been in the mood to write and a lot of stuff has been happening (which is finally over) and I’m glad I could finally post this. I was also, if I’m honest, nervous to post this, cause I’m not sure if everyone’s ready for the direction of the story. But I have made it clear that I wanted to do a time skip to the show at somepoint and decided to do it now! If you enjoy this, please let me know cause I’m really nervous about (Not my words of affirmation love language coming out-) ALSO to the requester, I know you said part 3, but I used it for part 4. I got your request as I was making part 3 soooo my bad. Hope you don’t mind tho <3 this will be the last part before the angsty finale (and maybe an epilogue)

Reblogs are always appreciated!

Anyways this was NOT beta read unfortunately, I tried to get as many errors out during the writing process so hopefully it’s fine. Also, there’s probably some words I might have wanted to italicize or make bold that aren’t, but I’m too tired to care honestly.

Tags: @tired-of-life-86 @nervoussystemss @qopia @lovelyemily @hcneyiced @v3r41ynn @ghostdoodlen @nxptvne-13 @ximenavc-che @edgyfluff @ericityyy @diffidentphantom @faimmm @slasher-whore69 @1-randomized @ozzersauce @fanlovedlt @alientee (if I forgot someone or you want to be added just tell me !!)

Days turned to weeks, to months, to years. Until eventually an eon had passed. An entirety filled to the brim with an indescribable happiness and love, threatening to spill over at any given moment. You loved Adam and Adam loved you.

To say it was all happiness would be a lie, there were some moments of sadness and pain, but all relationships were like that, even ones that lasted for eternity. You both always bounced back, apologize and moved on with a stronger bond than before. And you loved every second of it.

A lot has changed in these last few eons. Adam formed a band and is now the most popular guitarist in all of heaven. You both made new friends, some got into heaven while others were made there. Emily was one of these people to you, she looked up to you for being older than her. You’ve existed for almost all of human existence so, of course she’d look up to you.

Adam had also made new friends, his band members, some officials in heaven, but someone he’s grown close to recently was Lute. You're really happy about his friendship with Lute. She seems like a strong and loyal friend, someone that can keep him grounded while still encouraging him to be more himself. Overall, you really liked her.

How they became friends though is something… less tasteful for you. All the way back when Heaven and Hell had their first meeting on what to do with the surplus of sinners in hell causing an uprising. Neither side came to an agreement in the end, you do feel partially to blame for that, but you still stand by what you did.

You never returned to any of the follow up meetings

But Adam did, surprisingly to you. In the end, you were called to talk with Sera and Adam. You were told of the agreement between Heaven and Hell, about the yearly “cleanse” that Adam and his “Exorcists” would have to commit. At first you were shocked, sure, you didn’t have the best experience with sinners and especially with the rulers of hell, but was death really necessary? You didn’t know what to say, and Adam clearly saw this.

“Babe, you alright?” He puts his hand on your shoulder rubbing his thumb in circles. You place your hand on his.

“Yeah it’s just a lot to take in. Are we sure it has to be done… that way?”

Sera looked down in pain “they’re… uprising and are becoming to much of a threat to heaven.”

You sighed as Adam took you in his arms. Adam was fully aware that you don’t share the same sentiment towards sinners as he does. His hatred towards the unholy souls down in hell was brought about by events that you simply cannot understand. Which he is thankful for, he never would want you to experience what he did.

“If there isn’t anything else we can do then… I guess we have no choice. But I don’t want to… kill anyone, even if they are sinners.”

Adam holds you closer “You won’t have to,” you smile at him, the now familiar flickering of his LED mask meeting your gaze before softly frown “you ok?”

You nod, “yeah, just…I wish there was another way.”

-

That was it. Adam would take his exorcists down to hell to kill as many sinners as they could each year. Adam knew you didn’t want him to talk about it , he kept it as separate as he could from your life. You did have to attend meetings regarding it, as one of the very few people to know about it, that was your duty.

You were fine with having that part of the job. You weren't sure if you could kill someone, sinner or not. So, for the countless years to follow, you played your part with every new extermination, attending meetings to deal with the repercussions of each cleanse.

Adam would also have to attend the occasional meeting. Which is exactly what today was. Sera had called you both in to talk.

“Thank you both for coming. I have to inform you that you will be attending a meeting tomorrow.”

Adam groaned “What! Again? This is like the 4th fuckin’ one this week! Ugh fine! Where is it this time? halo city? Cherub towne” Adam’s voice mocked the locations you’ve both been sent to countless times with a high pitched voice. Even you have to admit that the meetings could drag a bit.

Sera's face turned into a slight grimace as she looks away from you both, she sighs and continues “The meeting will be in… hell.”

“What!” Both your voices raise in shock

“Sera, you know I don’t want to go down there again!”

“Why can’t you just send the other fucking dipshits who know about-“ Adam crossed his arms defiantly

“Stop,” Sera raises her hand toward you both “no one wants to go there, and I know you both especially don’t.” She pauses “But you both are the only available angels who know of the cleanse that aren't busy. Please… I understand your disdain but heaven’s business comes first.”

“Who are we even gonna be talking to -Wait a damn minute- Don’t fucking tell me we have to talk to him.”

“I'm sorry…” You all sat in silence for a moment before Sera begins to speak again, “But you both won’t have to worry about physically being there, we have prepared holograms for you, so neither of you would be in any danger.”

“I'll have an Angel escort you to the ‘meeting’ room tomorrow, please, get some rest. I’m sure you both have had a long day.”

With that, you and Adam went home, you were definitely not feeling well about the meeting, but the fact you wouldn’t actually be there calms your nerves a bit. You had to be a little honest with yourself, hell wasn’t really the issue for you, it was more so the people. Lucifer for one, that made you feel uneasy.

The next morning, you and Adam got ready, you had to motivate him a little. He was clearly not excited for this meeting like you. The entire way there he held you close, even though nothing could have hurt you it made him feel better knowing how close you were.

On the way there, you also got Adam some ribs, his favorite. You thought it would help his nerves a bit. Turns out, Lute was the one Sera assigned to escort you both there. That also made you both a little calmer knowing a mutual friend would be there.

The three of you waited in the ‘meeting’ room for a while, about an hour. At first you thought the meeting might had been canceled or moved and you just weren't told. But then, Lute walked up to you both.

“Sir! The Seraphim has told me to inform you that there’s been a change in plans!”

“What? The fucks that mean?” Adam said stuffing a rib into his LED mouth

“Lucifer won’t be attending the meeting, instead… his Daughter will be here in his stead.” Lute’s mask showed a continuous frown and stern expression as she spoke.

“Daughter?” Your voice shook a little. This was news to you, as long as you’ve existed you had never heard he had a daughter while in hell. You look over to Adam to see His LED eyes were wide in shock but his mask turned into a smile as he sighed.

“Phew boy, we sure dodged a big ass bullet, huh Sweetcheeks?” He laughed as his arm pulled you closer. The whole thing caused you to join in. Suddenly your nerves felt a lot better than before.

“When should she be arriving, Lute?”

“Within the hour.”

-

Adam scarfed down another plate of ribs as you all wait for the “princess of hell” to arrive. The entire time you just had to wonder what kind of person she’d be. The daughter of Lucifer and Lilith. The more you thought about it, the more bizarre it seemed.

But suddenly your thoughts were interrupted by the sliding doors opening to the meeting room and a girl steps in, asking if anyone is there.

“She can’t see us?”

“Yeah, Sera gave me a long ass lector on how this stuff works before we got here. Let’s see here…” Adam pushes a button causing a click to sound out as he says “Sup!”

The girl jumps back and falls to the floor, shocked by Adam’s sudden appearance in the room. She introduces herself as Charlie. Adam offers her to shake his hand, only for it to go through.

“Ha! I fuckin’ got you! Did you fucking see that? Good shit.”

You let out a slight laugh, as you sit and watch the meeting happen. Well, you say “meeting” but nothing about it seemed very professional. Adam for the last hour (you honestly wasn’t sure at this point) had been talking about the most random of things.

You or Lute occasionally shakening your head yes or no while listening to him, while Charlie seemed quite tired already. Not that you could blame her, people who weren’t used to Adam’s banter definitely weren’t cut out for it. But You love every word that comes out of his mouth.

Eventually Adam decides that it’s time to get into what you all came here for. Pulling out a bunch of papers, Charlie begins explaining her solution to hell’s overpopulation. You were only really half listening at first, at least before she mentioned that her solution could stop the extermination which peaked your interest.

She explains her “Hazbin Hotel” and its purpose to rehabilitate sinners, you wanted to hear more of it but Adam cut her off.

The meeting didn’t really go that well, At least for Charlie. But the whole thing left quite the impression on you. The idea of ending the extermination was stuck in your head for so long, and now you had someone who had an alternative.

“Adam, are you sure that it couldn’t have worked?”

Adam looks at you in surprise “What? Do you think that shitshow could have actually worked?” He laughed as he placed a hand on your back. “Don’t even pay it any mind, alright Babe?”

“I know, it’s just… you know I don't like the extermination. So another way to lessen the population of hell should at least be looked into.” Your voice was soft enough to barely hear.

Adam’s gaze softened but he didn’t say another word, only wrapping his wing around you pulling you closer. You lean towards him, snuggling into his soft robe. No matter how much you wanted to ignore it, you couldn’t. You needed to do something, anything.

So that night, after Adam fell asleep, you asked to talk with Sera. Leaving a note for Adam saying you went to buy something just in case he woke up.

“What is troubling you?” Sera’s voice was clear and concise.

You looked toward the ground, your nerves feeling tighter than ever, as you struggled with how to put your words together. “You're aware of all that happened in the meeting with Lucifer’s Daughter, right?”

Sera nods her head “of course, all meetings are documented about as they happen.” She tilts her head slightly “What about it?”

“Well!” You steel yourself before continuing “I would like permission to observe Charlie Morningstar’s ‘Hazbin Hotel’”

Sera’s eyes widen, breaking her calm demeanor before giving a firm “No”

“But-“

“It’s too dangerous for you to be there, Adam wouldn’t want that anyways”

“He would listen if it was an order from you!” Your eyes felt watery but you continued “Please Sera… I know you don’t want the extermination to continue. Just let me do this!”

Sera looked away from you, her feelings evident on her face, any mask now down. ‘Just a little more’ you thought

“Sera, I promise you, I’ll be careful! We don’t even have to fully support them yet, just let me observe them. It would be devastating if so many souls parish if we failed to seek all options!” You beg

Sera sighed, shakingly “…I’ll see what I can do.”

Your eyes gleamed up at the tall woman “Sera, thank you, thank you!” You wanted to hug her but out of courtesy, you advised against it.

Sera tells you that she can’t guarantee anything but she will try as she sends you home to rest.

-

A few days past after that and you haven’t heard anything from Sera. It was a little worrying and felt like a bad sign to you. That was, until you were informed by Sera that your request was accepted!

“But.” Sera stops you before you can celebrate “You're only there to keep track of the progress and to make sure nothing is happening under our noses” You nod your head in understanding

“Also…” she pauses “If anything involving this hotel happens, you will have to take full responsibility, understood?”

You nod again “yes I understand. Have you… told Adam yet?”

She shakes her head

“Ok… can you… not tell him it was my idea, please. I don’t think he’d agree if he knew.”

Sera sighs before nodding her head “Very well, I’ll tell him after you leave”

“Thank you.”

-

You return home, when you got back Adam was already gone, Sera must have already called him to the office. You dreaded when he got back. You didn’t want to see him upset, it hurt you to know how worried he was for you.

A few hours later, Adam comes through the door in a panic. He stomps up to you and pulls you into a warm and intense embrace.

“Don’t go down there. I need you here with me” his voice hitches as his wings wrap around you both, curling you both into a warm and feathery ball.

“Adam…” you paused, was this really the best thing to do? No, It had to be. If this goes well, not only will the extermination stop but Adam wouldn’t have to go down to hell ever again.

“Adam, you know I can’t go against Sera’s orders.” You kiss his cheek “and I won’t be gone forever, I’m only supposed to be there till the next cleanse. Not to mention, I’ll always come back to see you.”

Adam grumbled a little “I know, I just… don’t like you being in the same place that bastard is, and in his brat’s stupid hotel! ”

You laugh softly “Adam…” grabbing his hand, you put yours in it, showing off the gold ring on your finger “I’ll never forget my promise. You know that, right?”

Adam looks at the ring, the gold wrapped around your finger with a perfectly snug fit. Everytime he looked at it was just a reminder of your love for him. That promise was something he could never forget. He slowly raises your hand to his LED mask, kissing the back of it. “Of course not.”

“Good. I promise I’ll be fine, ok?”

He nods. Hand in hand, you slowly lead you both to the bed. The both of you lay next to each other, your bodies linked together like knots. You slwoly remove his helmet from his head, laying it on the nightstand.

Your hands move up his body before landing on his face, cupping his cheeks before pulling him to a kiss before snuggling into his chest.

-

Finally it was Time for you to leave. Sera allowed you to create portals back to heaven in case anything happened and you were in need of assistance. Adam walked you to the front gate.

“Ok, do you have everything? You didn’t forget that fucking angelic dagger I had Lute get for you right-“

You shush him “Adam, I told you I’ll be fine!”

He’s sighs “Damn it- I know that but just make sure to text me while your there ok-

You kiss him deeply “Adam. I know, you’ve told me a hundred times.” You smile as you cup his face “I love you”

He sighs “Love you too Sweetcheeks”

With one final kiss, you give Adam a tight hug before waving goodbye as you went through the flaming portal. As you went through, you take a second to look at your surroundings. In front of you was a tall building. You take a few steps back to see LED lights of a sign flashing the words ‘Hazbin Hotel’

You let out a sigh of relief. You had been a tad bit worried you’d spawn somewhere random and you’d have to find the building yourself. But it seems heaven at least spared you of that.

The red skies of hell were quite different from the pristine blue ones of heaven. Even though you just got here, you could already hear the sounds of screams and explosions in the distance. How welcoming.

You steel yourself and with three hard knocks to the door, you wait for someone to open it. Muffled Scurrying sounds of footsteps approach the door before it creaks open revealing the young blond woman in the doorframe, Charlie Morningstar.

“Hi! I’m-“

The door is slammed shut, Before opening again

“Be not afraid-“

It shuts again…

Well, this may be a bit harder than you initially anticipated. You go to knock again only for it to open once more. This time, the door doesn’t close again, instead the girl mutters a quick “Hi” before going quiet.

“Hello! I didn’t mean to scare you!” You give a small laugh before continuing “I believe we met a couple days ago?” You bring your hand towards her for a shake, to which she reciprocates.

“During the meeting with.. Adam? Right?” She grimaced when she mentioned Adam, which you decided to ignore, you simply smiled and nodded. ”but I don’t believe I caught your name?”

You tell her about yourself, about how your there to stay and monitor any progress the hotel may have. You made sure to pronounce ‘may.’ While you were hoping for this idea to show some kind of positive results, even you weren’t sure if it’d would work.

“Charlie? who’s at the door- WhatHolyShit-“ a woman with a red X over her eye suddenly shouts in surprise. You look over at her, She looked very familiar…

“Wait, you are-“

“Vaggie! Charlie’s sinner girlfriend! And you are?!” The woman known as Vaggie, highlighted the word sinner while performing a “be quiet” gesture with her hand. Your eyes widen a little at the ex-Angel in front of you but you simply smile a nod “I’m Y/n, I don’t believe we’ve met, yes?”

Look, lying is the last thing you’d want to do as a citizen of heaven but you figured that it would be fine if it was to protect someone. Vaggie nodded, her face scrunched up in a tense look.

“You feeling ok Vaggie? You’re looking a little… red?”

“I’m fine! *ahem*, Hun, how about you give them a tour of the hotel.”

Charlie gasped “Yes that's perfect, you may as well get acquainted with everyone if you’re going to be here more often!”

Charlie ran off, telling you “this way! This way!” Over and over. Before you went to follow her, you leaned toward Vaggie and said a quick “Relax, I won’t tell anyone.”

She lets out a sigh before muttering “Thank you”

You both follow Charlie as she shows you the various rooms in the hotel before leading you back to the hotel’s lobby and lounge area.

“Hey! Hello everyone!” Charlie’s voice picked up a little “I’d like to introduce you to our uh… new staff member?” You nod in agreement with the title. The room in front of you was shrouded in looks of both horror and amazement.

“What the hell’s an angel doin’ here?” A lanky spider demon spoke up first

“It’sss an ambush! seek Cover!!” The Snake demon shouted, seemingly grabbing an army helmet from thin air before taking a deep dive behind the couch.

“No Pentious-” She sighs “they’re here to monitor the hotel! Heaven sent them to scout any potential progress the hotel will have”

“It’s nice to meet you all” you look at the people in front of you, to say it was a colorful cast would be an understatement.

“These two are our current tenants of the hotel! Angel dust and Sir Pentious!”

The snake slithered slowly from behind the couch up to you, while the Spider demon remained rested on the couch

“Oh… *ahem* Excuse me dear! I am Sir. Pentious! Formally known as ‘the Architect of destruction’!” He laughs, a slight hiss sounding in his voice.

He offers a handshake which you accept. To which you immediately regret. ‘ Slimey’ you thought, before wiping your, now wet hand on your clothes.

The spider demon, who you now know as Angel Dust, just gives a wave with one of his 4 arms.

“And-“ Charlie extends the word as she quickly walk to a bar by the entrance “this is the recreational area, run by our Bartender, Husk!”

The winged bartender seemed entirely uninterested in your presence or even Charlie’s. The most you got was a small glance before he takes a swig of his alcohol and walks off.

“He’s not the most… social guy in hell” she awkwardly laughs before moving on to the next person. “And this is Nifty, our one and only maid at the hotel! Nifty say hi.”

The short woman scurried moved around you, her eye quickly looking at every every nook and cranny of you as she moved. She made numerous attempts to touch and grab various things on you, your clothes, wings, and eventually she tried to climb up you to get to your halo. That’s when you finally grabbed her in place “you're a… fast one, huh? Nice to meet you!”

“And last but not least! This is Alastor, the hotel’s executive producer and our first -and only- overlord sponsor!”

Immediately, you could tell there was something off about Alastor. The entire aura he gave off was as if he was restraining something completely and utterly ungodly. The static that surrounded him was just one of many whispers you could hear from his soul.

“Hello! It’s quite a pleasure to meet someone of your… holy status!” He offers a hand to which you, hesitantly, shake. “And what do we owe the pleasure for your service?”

“They’re going to be here to keep track of the progress of the hotel…” Charlie paused “you know I’m starting to sound like a broken record- here, it’s late, how about we all get some sleep and we can talk about it in the morning!”

“Fine by me, I am waaay too sober to be having social interaction this late” Angel picks himself up and stretches “I’m gonna hit the hay”

“Here I’ll show you to your room!” Charlie smiles “We -obviously- didn’t have time to make your own so I hope you don’t mind using one of the guest rooms” she laughs

She and Vaggie walks you to your new room before leaving you be, The room was nothing more than just your average hotel room. Of course it did have its differences, a multitude of… eyes seem to be on the wall, staring at you. Well, that’s not the least alarming.

You place your stuff down and begin unpacking, you mostly just brought the basics. Clothes, hygiene stuff, your phone, and, most importantly, a framed photo of Adam.

You sat the photo on your nightstand, angling it just right so that it would always be visible to you. As you do so, you think about the memory the photo brings, you took it on one of the first dates you went on with Adam. It was a relatively tame date, you and Adam, having a picnic by a lake at night. You brought candles so you both weren’t completely in the dark, and you just loved the way he looked, his golden eyes watching the water. The dim candle light illuminating his face with a warm golden shade. Adam hates photos of him with his mask off but… You just had to keep that moment in time forever.

*Ding* *Ding* *Ding*

Speak of the- well, you know the rest. The bright light from the phone comes with the notification sound displaying Adam in bold letters. You smile as you read his messages.

Dixkmaster69

Heyy Sweetcheeks, it’s been a bit since you left

You there??

Fucking answer

You let out a small laugh at Adam’s barrage of messages. He’s not used to you being away from him for more than a day, huh? Not that you could blame him, this is honestly nothing compared to how you feel each year he has to do the extermination.

Sweetcheeks

Hey love

Everything’s fine, I’m ok.

Aside from not having you with me :’(

Dixkmaster69

Fucking finally

You know you don’t have to do this

If I bitch enough to Sera I can get you back by tomorrow

Sweetcheeks

Please don’t, Sera already has enough on her plate.

I promise I’m going to be fine

I’ll be back before you know it.

Dixkmaster69

I know

This shit just worries me

Gonna miss hearing your sexy ass voice at night too ;)

You blush at the message before sighing. Whenever you or Adam approached a topic that made him uncomfortable, he would always try to change the subject to something that made him feel better. You knew why, Adam’s someone who rarely talked about his feelings, even after all these eons together that was something he hadn’t changed. You knew exactly what he needed, even if he didn’t explicitly tell you.

Sweetcheeks

I already miss yours too <3

Do you want to help me fall asleep with that heavenly voice of yours on the phone?

Dixkmaster69

Whatever you want Sweetcheeks <3

You smile when, almost immediately, Adam begins calling your phone. You click the lights off before You make your way in your new bed, not even bothering to change out of the clothes you’ve been wearing. You grab the cover and pull it over you and tapping the answer button.

“Sup”

You yawn “Hey handsome, I missed your voice”

You hear his voice hitch before he caused on “Of course you did, no one has a better voice than the dick master. But uh, yours is a close second”

You’re let out a tired giggle, “such a charmer, you. How’s your day been huh?”

“Oh! don’t even get me started on that- Lute took me to get some ribs to ‘calm my nerves’ or some shit and they had me, ME, wait in line for like 15 minutes! The fucking audacity!”

You smile to yourself as Adam tells you about his day, the sound of his voice was like a sweet lullaby to your ears and you couldn’t get enough of it. But eventually…

“And then when I got home, I couldn’t find my damn charger and it took me like 40 fuckin’ minutes to realize it was under our bed, do you have any idea of how it keeps getting there?” He waits for you to respond only to be met with silence. “Uh bitch, I’m talking to you.”

More silence… well no, actually if Adam focused on listening, he could hear the faint sound of your snoring from the phone. Adam sighs,”Long day, huh?”

Adam lays back in your shared bed, getting comfortable. He sets the phone beside him, plugging it in while keeping it on speaker. He yawns, “Goodnight Sweetheart, can’t wait to see you again”

Slowly, the soft sounds of both yours and Adam’s snores filled each others rooms, a distant, but intimate connection. Even in slumber, you couldn’t stop thinking of your handsome and caring soulmate.

[astonmartinii]

no more ace to play [mamma mia part two] | formula one social media au

drivers: sebastian vettel, fernando alonso and jenson button

the investigation was fruitful but now y/n has a handful of drivers and a bucket load of criticism

general note: i answered an ask about this but i thought i'd reiterate here, this is a no wives or kids au, so seb and jenson's wives and kids do not exist in this !! thank you so much for all the lovely feedback on the last part, hopefully i remembered to tag everyone who asked x

part one | masterlist | ko-fi

yourusername

liked by sebastianvettel, jensonbutton and 1.405,605 others

tagged: fernandoalo_oficial, sebastianvettel, jensonbutton

yourusername: so i guess it's kinda real now and they're all lovely x

view all comments

user4: i know the bitter old people are going to find this now but i for one think it's fucking ICONIC

user5: the guys are way too chill for the situation

user6: they've not said anything, so how would you know?

user5: idk reeks of babytrapping

user7: be for real y/n doesn't need to baby trap anyone she has her own career?

yourbff: debrief needed STAT

yourusername: literally on my way to yours right now get the non-alcoholic wine READY

landonorris: do i like get a prize for my hand in this?

yourusername: here's a gold star ⭐️

landonorris: i was hoping for some monetary rewards

yourusername: ur literally a millionaire ?

landonorris: and?

user8: are any of them gonna like comment or?

user9: very odd considering they wouldn't shut THE FUCK UP on their own posts

user10: for real they were very proud of their 'accomplishments' but now it's the consequences of their actions and theyre silent ?

user11: have yall considered the fact that finding out you might be a dad is a bit of a shock, let them all process it?

jensonbutton

liked by lewishamilton, sebastianvettel and 302,889 others

jensonbutton: back to see the old rides

view all comments

user12: SPILL JENSON PLEASE

user13: so like what team is this kid going to support they've got so much to choose from?

user14: if they have any taste, ferrari 💅

user15: i mean their momma clearly has taste so ....

oscarpiastri: nice to meet you jenson!

jensonbutton: by how much mark talks about you i could've sworn i'd already met you

aussiegrit: bold of you to send shots my way considering your current predicament

user16: mark saying this like they aren't lucky to be with y/n ?

user17: bro we all saw that you met up with y/n and the baby daddy squad... wanna maybe share some thoughts?

user18: why would he want to publicise that he got with a slag?

user17: i know you're not calling y/n a slag when we're talking about f1 playboy JENSON BUTTON ?

user19: i have complete faith that this mamma mia summer WILL have a good ending but i NEED these men to maybe actually talk about it so people aren't just out here coming for y/n ?

yourusername

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, jensonbutton and 1,209,677 others

yourusername: got myself a sweet treat and did some meditation (i.e. listening to asmr roleplay) because life is crazy and morning sickness is a bitch

view all comments

user24: not to be sappy but i am emotional watching y/n go through this, she's been on the internet for so long i feel like i've watched her grow up, idk anything about f1 but i hope they're good for her

yourbff: gosh who knew you getting pregnant would lead to us having to go to the bakery every single morning

yourusername: but but but they have such good croissants and SHUSH I BUY YOU YOURS EVERYDAY

yourbff: i know you're like my sugar mama, please still buy me pastries when you have your actual child

user25: i think we're all being a wee bit dramatic about the whole "they haven't said anything" business. yes, they probably should say they're fine with it so people stop accusing y/n of baby trapping them but ALSO we don't know what they do everyday, maybe we should just let the adults go about their business

charles_leclerc: i am basically seb's kid so i shall be a character witness: that man is an ANGEL and believe me that took a lot for me to say in public lol

yourusername: why thank you charles, i have heard a lot about you. in fact on his "provisional dad cv", sebastian directly named you, some guys called max verstappen, mick schumacher and lance stroll as fatherly experience

maxverstappen1: LOL I KNEW SEB LOVED ME BUT WTF IS A DAD CV

sebastianvettel: this is a serious matter and i wanted to show that i'm serious about fatherhood

mickschumacher: soz max, charles and lance i think WE all know who his favourite is

lancestroll: i'm just happy to be recognised tbf

yourusername: well i kinda hope this real child will be his favourite...

charles_leclerc: boring 🥱

alexalbon: well i'm gonna nominate myself as jenson's grid kid and woah that guy is great 👍

jensonbutton: sounds kinda sarcastic but thanks for the effort alex

carlossainz55: seeing as we're all here i'll say that nando is the best grid dad sorry not sorry

yourusername: you're all here but idk who you people are ?

fernandoalo_oficial: chilli have i ever told you how proud i am of you?

stoffelvandoorne: do i mean nothing to you old man

user26: wtf is going on here

fernandoalo_oficial

liked by yourusername, sebastianvettel and 1,403,677 others

fernandoalo_oficial: what a race! thankful to finally be back on the podium this weekend and i'd like to dedicate this race to the soon-to-be new addition and my new family, here's to our future ❤️

view all comments

user27: HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO CUTE

user28: i'm sorry the THUMB IN THE MOUTH CELEBRATION ARE YOU KIDDING?

jensonbutton: proud of you, come home quick x

user29: i'm sooooo chill about this

fernandoalo_oficial: i'll make sure to tell the team that THE jenson button wants the meeting to go faster

sebastianvettel: do i mean nothing? that's literally my old team name drop ME

yourusername: just tell them i've gone into labour

fernandoalo_oficial: you've not even been pregnant two months yet...

yourusername: they don't know that

astonmartinf1: this is a public instagram comment section...

maxverstappen1: maybe when the little one is actually here i'll let you win for once

fernandoalo_oficial: how kind of you?

maxverstappen1: i need the little one to know that at least one of you is cool and that i should be their favourite god father

lewishamilton: now that is a bold assumption

danielricciardo: i have been quiet on this topic but if anyone is prime god father material YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM

yourusername: you'll all receive an email and a god father application in the coming weeks

charles_leclerc: is this another seb idea?

yourusername: maybe... but idk yall so i think it's a good idea

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, mickschumacher and 1,509,874 others

tagged: jensonbutton, fernandoalo_oficial, sebastianvettel

yourusername: welcome to the crazy house

view all comments

user33: so we've confirmed the poly? yes or no?

user34: i'm gonna say yes but with them you literally never know

georgerussell63: so we all sent them a jellycat?

alexalbon: speak for yourself george that sick ass rocking bunny is all albon

user35: not to be weird but this kids is literally going to have the hottest parents of all time

user36: no cause if i'm a teacher and all of them walk in for parent's evening i'm passing out

jensonbutton: oh wow what a lovely crib i wonder who put that together

fernandoalo_oficial: don't you dare take all the credit

sebastianvettel: as if anyone other than the WOOD WORK KING put that together

yourusername: guys they are lying the delivery guy put it together and they all stood around watching like dads at the airport

jensonbutton: "like dads" so still getting the experience in

danielricciardo: so who is responsible for this grandpa ass nursery aesthetic?

yourusername: well this is awkward i thought it was cute

fernandoalo_oficial: it is don't worry honey, it matches seb's overall grandpa aesthetic

sebastianvettel: you guys agreed to move to mine don't switch up on my aesthetic now

jensonbutton: oh seb we all love your certain affinity for tartan and plaid

sebastianvettel: i'm not feeling this love right now :(

yourusername: cuddle pile incoming

note: ahhh okay this was very highly requested so i hope it met expectations. i'm thinking this could defo be a longer series (i am also working on into the arms of another dw) following the whole family if yall would like that? i'm gonna try and tag everyone who requested that, i am sorry if i missed anyone x

taglist: @boiohboii @vellicora @faithm120601 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @luv4kani @minkyungseokie @eugene-emt-roe @magical-spit @ironmaiden1313 @jaydaaasworld @whoreks @rainerax @nonsensical-nonsence @laneyspaulding19 @chelseyyouraverageluigi @lxclerc @gemofthenight @woweewoowa

[mountttmase]

Change Of Heart

The Beginning - Part Two

Note - thank you so much for all the feedback last week I was honestly in shock 😂 but I’m really happy you guys like it and I hope this chapter clears things up a little bit. Once again let me know what you think and thank you guys so so much I adore you 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader

Word count - 6.9k

Warnings - series contains angst & fluff

‘So who’s coming to dad’s birthday thing? Like will there be a lot of people?’ You asked. Half because you actually wanted to know how busy it would be and the other to know if he would be there.

‘A fair few. Auntie Jean and uncle Tim are coming plus the kids and Grandma said if Steve can give her a lift she’d come. A few of the neighbours will be here too and some people from dads work’ she reeled off but you didn’t care about if these people would be here and you couldn’t deny the omission of his name calmed you. ‘Tony and Debs are coming too. I think Lewis might tag along but it’s too late for the little one and I think that’s it really’

‘Okay, not too bad then’ you nodded, not minding at all that they would be there as you knew they were still close with your family and you still kept in semi-regular contact with Lewis when you could. ‘I’ll go finish getting ready’

’Make sure you're quick, everyone will be here soon’ she called as you ran up the stairs and you called down to let her know you would, even though you were nowhere near ready.

It was only a family party but you still wanted to look nice. Cracking out one of your more family friendly dresses that still showed off your figure and finishing your makeup before moving onto jewellery. You didn't have much, just a pair of hoops and a few rings before popping on your favourite necklace.

You knew you probably shouldn’t, but you’d worn the necklace Mason had gifted you every day since he’d given to you last year and today wouldn’t be an exception. No one knew about the secret engraving underneath and even if there was no coming back for the pair of you, you still wanted to keep part of him close to you as he’d always been such a big part of your life.

It had been about half an hour now and you could hear the buzz from downstairs letting you know people had arrived. You were nervous about heading down however and hoped that your cousins were there so you had someone to talk to rather than aimlessly following your mum around.

’Hey love, can you get that nice bottle of rosé out the fridge for Debbie?’ your Dad asked as you were halfway down the stairs, nodding at him before making a u-turn at the bottom of the stairs to fetch it from the kitchen before taking it to him in the dining room.

Knowing they were here and Mason wasn’t with them gave you mixed emotions. On the one hand you were relieved as you didn’t have to see him but on the other hand you wondered if he was avoiding you. He’d been back for a few weeks now and still made no attempt to contact you so you came to the conclusion you were no longer friends.

It stung, and left you feeling confused but you’d grown to accept it. Not everyone in your life was meant to stick around but you’d always thought Mason would be the exception. Trying to get past the fact you’d never see your favourite brown eyes or his special smile directed at you anymore.

That was until you heard his unmistakable laughter in the living room. The sound making your blood turn cold and for a second you wondered if you were just hearing things, but as you rounded the corner to double check you spotted him right away.

The same boy who’s heart you’d broken a year ago, who’d in turn had broken yours slowly since then. The same eyes and smile and silly spiky hair but he’d grown more than you could ever imagine to the point it was like looking at someone new. His shoulders and chest were broader and even through his jeans you could tell his legs weren’t as tiny as they used to be. He was even dressed better than he used to be, all in black in a pair of ripped jeans and a dark denim jacket but you felt sick at the sight of him.

He was still the boy who’d ignored you for a year because you said you didn’t want to be with him romantically and even though you stood by your decision, you were hurt by the way it had all been handled.

You didn’t want to speak with him or be near him so you turned back around made made your way to the stairs so you could lock yourself away for a moment. The bathroom being empty when you made it up the stairs and you sat on the edge of the bath as you tried to relax.

There were too many emotions flowing through you right now. You were shocked at seeing him again, upset and angry that he thought he could just turn up at your parents house and you’d be fine with it and embarrassed that everyone seemed to know he was here and you didn’t.

After a few relaxing breaths you managed to look yourself in the mirror. Wiping away the few tears that were sitting in your waterline before making yourself look presentable enough to go back.

You weren’t prepared to see him, the shock of him actually being here overwhelmed you and as much as you had told yourself things were done you knew there was still a part of you that yearned to still be his friend. To forget everything that had happened over the last year and accept him back with open arms but your pride wouldn’t let you.

The first thing you saw when you left the bathroom was Mason's big brown eyes again. This time he was standing on his own directly across from the door and you knew he’d been waiting for you. You paid him no attention though, your eyes falling to the floor as you walked away and back down the hall to the stairs but you should have expected him not to let you go so easily. Feeling his fingers wrap around your wrist as he pulled you to a stop and gently turned you to face him.

‘I’m sorry’ he whispered after a few seconds of silence. The sound of his voice in the flesh again making you shiver but you keep your eyes down as you knew they were full of tears again. ‘Y/n? Please. Please, I’m so sorry’

You didn’t respond, the tears now freely flowing down your face and even though he’d let go of you now, you were frozen. Your hands coming up to hide your face as you sobbed into them but he was quick to wrap you up in his embrace like nothing had happened. The pair of you fitting together like missing puzzle pieces as he tried to comfort you the best he could but soon enough he was pulling you in the direction of your room to try and avoid anyone seeing you so upset.

Once inside your room he grabbed your arms gently and placed them around his neck so you’d hug him and you didn’t pull back. Letting him hold you close to his body as his arms wrapped around your waist and that same feeling of safety you got around Mason that you always did returned alongside the crippling feeling of hurt that rippled under your skin.

‘Come on, please don’t cry’ he whispered but his words had the adverse effect. Sobs wracking through you as you held him as tightly as possible, almost as if he might disappear again but he was holding you back just a tight. Rubbing your back to soothe you but all you could do was sob into his neck as the smell of him consumed you. ‘Come sit down, yeah?’ He whispered and when he pulled away so he could take your hand you let him lead you over to your bed, unsure as to why you were blindly following his lead but you were hurt and upset and even though it was all his fault, his was the only comfort you wanted.

You followed him over to your bed. Your hand in his the whole time and he sat down on the edge before manoeuvring you onto his lap. Not really aware of your surroundings as your eyes were full of tears but once you were seated he pulled you into a hug again. Holding you close to his body as he slightly swayed you from side to side but you just hid your face in your hands again as you lent into him. Still too upset to even look at him but your mouth was now starting to run away with you.

‘You didn’t even let me say goodbye’ you hiccuped through your sobs. Feeling him pull you in even tighter as you wiped your eyes repeatedly. ‘I get you were hurt but you took that from me’

‘I know I know, I’m sorry’

‘I waited… I waited for you to text me and you never did’

‘I know, love. I know I didn’t and I’m the biggest idiot in the world’ he told you quietly. ‘Why do you think I came here tonight? I wanna try and make it up to you. To apologise and explain myself’

‘Why haven't you tried before?’

‘Cause I was embarrassed’ he admitted quietly but it didn’t make you feel any better hearing it. ‘And I thought you deserved more than a phone call or a shitty text’

‘Why Mase? Why did you go and just forget about me?’

‘I didn’t I promise, I’ve thought about you every day, yeah?’ He told you sincerely, moving the pair of you so that you could face each other a little better but your eyes were still full of tears and you couldn’t make him out very well. You wanted to hear his explanation though so you waited for him to continue whilst you quietened your sobs and thankfully he took the hint and carried on.

‘That last conversation we had, I was crushed. And it’s not your fault at all yeah, I told myself you’d probably shoot me down but there was this tiny part of me that thought you might feel the same. And it’s okay that you don’t, you’re probably right as it wouldn’t have worked but I was so embarrassed that you knew I liked you and the fact nothing would happen felt shit so I told myself just to adjust to life out there for a bit and then I’d be fine to talk to you again’ he told you quietly and it hit you once again how upset he was that you’d didn’t have the same feelings he did.

‘The first few months weren’t great and I needed you but I held back. Gave you your space and me mine, you know? but as time went on I just kept talking myself out of it. Said that you hadn’t tried with me either so I should just leave it a little longer but then it got to the point it was too long and I was too embarrassed to text you cause I figured you must hate me now’

‘I've never hated you, Mase’ you told him, sniffing as you tried to get yourself together again. ‘I’m really fucking hurt but I could never hate you. I only never messaged you cause I was giving you space too. I can’t tell you the amount of times I typed something out to send to you and then backed out cause I figured you weren’t ready. That you hadn’t text first and I had to wait for you to come to me but you never did, Mase’

‘I know’ he sighed, his voice full of tears now himself and hearing him upset hurt more than anything else you’d been feeling for the last year. ‘I’m so sorry, y/n. I really am. I don’t know if it makes any difference or if there’s anyway we can go back to being friends but I’m here now and I want to make things right with you’ he told you and you could tell he was ready to have a cry himself. The sound of his voice making your tummy churn and when you built up the courage to look at him the tears were sliding down his cheeks. ‘You’ve got me through some of my worst days, and when I was struggling out there I can’t tell you how many times I went to message you as well. I tried to push it all aside but I was afraid you’d still think I was pathetic-‘

‘Hey, no’ you interrupted, reaching you to touch his arm that was settled on your lap and the tiny bit of contact made Mason's eyes light up. ‘You’ve never been pathetic, Mase. I know that conversation didn’t go how you wanted but I never once thought you were pathetic’

‘I’ve really missed you’ he pouted, his bottom lip wobbling as his eyes continued to overflow and as much as you wanted to tell him you missed him back you held off. ‘It’s all my fault, I know that, but I’ve missed hearing about your day and telling you about mine. I’ve missed laughing until we’re crying and feeling sick, I just miss you. Like I don’t care about any of that stuff now I just want my friend back’ he hiccuped and your heart hurt for the broken boy in front of you. ‘If you need more time I can give it to you. I know things won't be the same and we’ll have to work on stuff but I’ll do anything for you’

‘If it was anyone else, you know I’d say no’ you told him, watching the hope fill his eyes as he knew what was coming next. ‘But I’ve been miserable without you Mase’

‘I’ve been miserable too’ he laughed, a few more tears spilling from his eyes but you took him into your arms again so hold him. To hopefully let him know that things would be okay somehow no matter how the two of you were feeling that you could get back to where you needed to be eventually. ‘How about, we both sort ourselves out so we look presentable and head back downstairs. We can talk more then yeah, I just don’t want you missing your dads birthday’

‘Okay’ you sighed, giving him a small smile but you watched his eyes flicker over your face before coming back to look in your eyes.

‘Where’s your red lipstick?’ He asked quizzically and you should have known this comment was coming sooner or later.

‘Oh um, I’ve still got it, I’ve just been trying something new for a while’ you smiled. ‘The red’s a lot, you know?’

‘I liked it’ he shrugged and and your heart melted at the way he was looking at you still.

‘Do you not like me without?’

‘Of course I do, you I know I’ll take you whatever way you come but I never thought in a million years you’d willingly stop wearing it’

‘Just thought a change might be good’ you nodded and you were hoping he’d move on from it and not make you explain it any further.

‘Come on then, we should head back out’ he told you. Tapping your thigh so you’d stand up off his lap and once you had you’d realised how much you missed his touch.

‘You go, I’ll come in a sec. I just need to sort my face out’ you laughed, realising you probably looked like a hot mess but he just smiled at you and touched your arm before turning to leave. ‘Mase?’ You called quietly, but he stopped in his tracks and turned to you with his eyebrows raised. ‘Can I get one more hug? I really did miss you’ you whispered and you watched his face soften immediately before wrapping you up in his arms again. Lifting you off the floor so he could sway you from side to side but your giggles made him pop you back on the floor.

‘See you down there, yeah?’

‘Okay’ you nodded and with that you let him go.

You didn’t think too much of letting him go back on his own, Mason grabbing himself a drink before making a beeline for his brother but he didn’t quite get there as he was stopped in his tracks by your mum who wanted to say hello and congratulate him on his season abroad.

‘Mason you must come and meet Jack’ your mum told him, linking her arm through his as she led him through the dining room and he just went with it.

‘Jack? Yeah sure’ Mason said, walking up to a guy who was stood alone by the window but he nodded his head at Mason as he got close but Mason didn’t know what to think or how to react.

Mason could tell what kind of guy Jack was immediately. Taller than him by a good few inches, short jet black hair and arms as big as Mason's head. He had no idea who he was though and guessed he was part of the family or a friend but when Jack gave him a once over as your mum introduced Mason to him there was something about him that felt off.

‘Hey it's good to meet you, man’ he smiled, holding his hand out for Mason to shake and it’s like he was trying to crush Mason's hand with the grip of it so Mason held back just as tightly. ‘Y/n’s told me a lot about you. I can’t lie, I’m actually an Arsenal fan but we were keeping up with you last season.’ Jack smiled and Mason just nodded along, still unsure as to who the man was in front of him as the pair of them let go of one another and Mason flexed his fingers behind his back. ‘Have you seen her by any chance? It’s like she’s been avoiding me- ah here she is’ Jack smiled holding his hand out to his right and when Mason turned to look that way he saw you standing in the doorway like a deer caught in the headlights. To say this was the moment you’d been dreading was an understatement but you couldn’t leave Jack hanging.

Mason could see the uncomfortable look on your face but you took Jack's hand and let him pull you into his side and press a kiss to your head. The action making his skin prickle uncomfortably and he had to look away to process what he was seeing before looking back up and avoiding your eyes.

‘You alright, babe? Was just saying to Mason I thought you were avoiding me’ Jack laughed, wrapping his arm around your waist and your heart broke at the look on Mason's face. This isn’t how you wanted him to find that you had a boyfriend but unfortunately you were stuck in between both of them now unsure of what to say or do.

‘Sorry, was just sorting a few things out’

‘That’s alright, sweetie’ he smiled and the term of endearment made Masons' skin crawl. Watching him as he pulled you in front of his body so he could wrap his arms around your waist and rest his chin on the top of your head. Like he was trying to claim you in front of everyone else and Mason could feel his blood starting to boil.

Mason didn’t want to be here, stuck talking to this guy who was holding you in a way he could only dream of but it was the fact he was there in the first place annoyed him more than anything. He came here to talk to you, to make amends with you but now everything was up in the air. He knew he owed you this, that he'd been a crappy friend and he owed it to you to be the best friend he possibly could in this moment but he was overwhelmed and needed a way out. Looking up to find Lewis looking back with his eyebrow raised so he made a quick excuse that he was needed quickly and fled the scene.

‘What the fuck, Lew? Why didn’t you tell me she’s got a boyfriend?’

‘I assumed she would have told you?’ He shrugged, only then realising that the pair of you had both lied to your families that you were still speaking. ‘What’s up with you?’

‘Nothing, I’m getting a drink’ he mumbled before trudging back to the kitchen.

Mason felt broken. A small part of him hoped that when he came back there would be a way for you to work things out and be together. That you’d had a chance to think things over and realise you were in love with him too but now all his dreams were dashed. Yes he’d told you it was fine being friends and he’d do what you wanted but he’d also wanted you to miss him. To realise that you could feel the same and that you could make it work but now there was no chance.

Jack wasn’t the guy he thought you’d go for and he made Mason feel more insecure than he ever had. He could tell he was a few years older and quite clearly able to give you things that Mason couldn’t but the reality that you’d slipped through his fingers completely was more than he could take.

He knew what he had to do though, he had to be what he hadn’t been for the last year and be the bestest friend he could be so he psyched himself up and went back to find you so he could prove himself to you again.

You weren’t hard to spot. Jack now leaning against the table with you in between his legs but it was like Jack could see Mason coming and when he got close enough he started to kiss you softly. The sight making Mason's temper flare but he pushed through it and carried on making his way over.

‘You look hot as fuck babe’ Jack told you, holding you out at arms length so he could look you up and down and even though he was being silly, it made Mason feel awkward how Jack seemed to be dangling you in his face without your knowledge.

‘Jack stop it’ you laughed, tapping him on the chest as you tried to brush the comment away but Mason knew you and he knew how uncomfortable you sounded.

‘No, I’m serious. Like look at you’ he laughed, trying to get you to spin so he could oogle your bum but you just laughed awkwardly and turned back as Jack looked at Mason. ‘You admit it too, don’t you Mason? Go on, tell her. Tell her she looks hot’

‘Mason you don’t have to say that’ you told him, only now just realising he’d seen the whole thing and you watched as his cheeks reddened and he awkwardly coughed. Feeling awful for him as Jack tried to parade you in front of everyone so you swatted Jack in the arm playfully to get him to stop but he just laughed loudly and pulled you closer.

‘What about you Mason? You got a girl’

‘Nope’ Mason breathed, popping the p at the end of his sentence and you knew Mason was getting annoyed with Jack's antics.

‘Why not? You must have girls all over you right?’

‘Not the ones I want though’ he laughed under his breath, just loud enough for you to hear before clearing his throat and nodding to the side. ‘I’m just gonna use the loo I won’t be long’

‘Can you stop doing that’ you whispered to Jack as soon as Mason was out of earshot but just sent you a cheeky wink before pinching your bum.

‘What? You love it when I compliment you usually’

‘I know but we’re at a family party, you need to tone it down’

‘I can’t help it if you're the sexiest person I’ve ever laid my eyes on’ he teased and you wanted to roll your eyes at how ridiculous he was being. ‘You’re my girl and I wanna let everyone know you’re mine’

‘You can show me another time’ you winked, letting him pull you into a hug but you should have known he had ulterior motives when you felt his lips on your neck. Peppering soft kisses that usually drove you wild but you were well aware you shouldn’t be doing this as it wasn’t the time or place.

‘Jack…’

‘Sorry sweetie, I can’t help it’ he laughed, pulling away from you so he could look you in the eyes and you noticed straight away how dark his were. ‘Doesn’t help I won’t get to have you tonight’

‘I’m sure you can wait a few days’

‘I don’t think I can’ he whispered, hands travelling back down to your bum but you pulled out of his grasp so no one could see him being handsy.

‘Well tough. I’m going to get a drink I won’t be long’ you winked and left him on his own so you could go to the kitchen. You’d told him it was for a drink but secretly you wanted to check in with Mason and even though he said he was going to the loo you found him exactly where you thought he’d be.

Mason was out in the garden on his own, arms crossed as he looked up to the sky and even though you knew he’d come out here to be alone you also knew you needed to talk to him. You didn’t want him to find out about Jack the way that he had and you didn’t know what he was thinking so without a second thought you made your way to him. Quietly walking across the grass until you were stood next to him and even though he didn’t look down, you knew he’d seen you.

‘I really have missed out on a lot then, huh?’ He sighed. Finally glancing down at you but you were unsure of what to say. Looking off into the distance just as he had done and you waited for him to talk again. ‘How long have you been together?’

‘About 7 months’ you whispered, watching his head drop out of the corner of your eye and your heart broke for your best friend.

‘How did you meet?’

‘We’re on the same course’

‘And are you happy?’ He asked but you kept silent as you didn’t want to upset him even further. ‘It’s okay, you can tell me’

‘Yes’ you whispered, your tummy dropping as he just shut his eyes momentarily but he was soon looking at you with a small smile on his face.

‘Well that’s all that matters then, yeah?’ He nodded and you felt the tears in your eyes spill over instantly. ‘C’mere, it’s okay’

‘I was gonna tell you, I didn’t want you to find out like that but it just slipped my mind before’ you spoke into his chest. Holding him like he might disappear but the way he was rubbing your back let you know everything would be okay.

‘It’s alright, you don’t need to be sorry’

‘I don’t want you to hate me’

‘Hey, I could never’ he whispered into your hair and you just held him tighter. ‘We may have lost our way a bit and I know it’s my fault but seeing you today, I never wanna go that long without you again okay? You're my best friend, y/n and I’ll always be happy for you no matter what you decide, okay?’

‘I’m still sorry I didn’t say anything earlier’

‘It’s alright, it’s all out in the open now. Unless you've got anything you wanna confess’ he teased but you just shook your head with a laugh. ‘Come on then, I better go give him the full assessment. Make sure he’s good enough for you’

‘I know he’s a lot, but he really is good to me Mase’

‘Okay, I trust you’ Mason smiled before quickly wiping your eyes for the hundredth time that night.

Once you were back inside, the three of you sat together so you could get to know each other. Both boys relaxing a bit as the night went on and you couldn’t believe the two men in your life were getting on. Something you didn’t think was possible even this morning but you hadn’t felt this happy in a long time.

‘You guys got any plans over the summer?’ Mason eventually asked when he was finishing telling you about the trip he’d planned with his family and you smiled at the way he was taking an interest in the both of you.

‘We’ve got a little road trip to Cornwall coming up’ you nodded, feeling Jack squeeze your waist as you knew you were both excited for your first trip away together but you didn’t realise he was about to explain further and drop you in it.

‘Yeah, we weren’t gonna do anything as we need to save the pennies for our big trip but we thought a few days away wouldn't hurt’ Jack smiled and even though you knew what was coming you couldn’t stop it from happening.

‘What’s the big trip?’

‘Safari in Kenya’ Jack smiled and it was like Mason's heart fell into his stomach. That was meant to be our trip he thought, trying best to swallow back his shock and thankfully he pulled it off just enough so Jack believed him.

‘Oh wow, that is a big trip’

‘Yeah, I mean I’ve been there, done that before. I traveled for a few years before uni but when this one mentioned she’d always wanted to go then I told her I’d make it happen’

‘It's just an idea, could be years away’ you mumbled, trying to ease the heartbroken look on Mason's face but he just gave you a tight smile and nodded.

‘No you should do it, I know you’ve always wanted to go’

We’ve always wanted to go, you thought to yourself but you didn’t bring it up again. Letting the boys change the conversation to something football related as you sat there with a heavy heart.

Jack had to leave at around 10, needing to get a late train so he could be home for a family trip the next day and you walked him to the door so you could share a private goodbye but as soon as he left you felt yourself pulled in Mason's direction.

He’d been doing the rounds for about an hour now and even though you’d been talking with Jack and some other members of your family it was Mason who your eyes always went to. Finding him looking back at you fondly most times or pulling silly faces the other so now you were alone you knew you wanted to finally talk to him properly.

You joined in with the conversation he was having with a few of your neighbours until it was just the pair of you talking. Him taking you into the kitchen to refill both your drinks and any concept of time vanished until Debbie made a beeline for the pair of you.

‘You alright you two?’ She smiled and you both nodded before her attention was on Mason. ‘We’re gonna head back but you come when you’re ready yeah?’

It was only then you looked up and realised most people were gone. Only Lewis on Tony left who were putting their coats on and you realised you and Mason must have been too caught up talking to notice anything else.

‘Oh okay, yeah’ he nodded, reaching over to give her a quick kiss on the cheek and you smiled at how lovely he was with her.

‘Text me when you’re leaving i'll get your dad to wait for you by the door’

‘Mum im a grown man and we live one street away. I’m sure I’ll be fine’ Mason groaned, rolling his eyes as you let out a little laugh but Debbie just huffed and you had a feeling she was about to put her foot down.

‘Well I'll feel better if your dad waits for you so just humour me and text us please?’

‘Yeah yeah fine, but don't wait up okay?’

‘If it gets too late he can just stay here, Debbie’ you smiled. ‘I’ve still got that old mattress he used to sleep on whenever he stayed round before’

‘And you wonder why my back was always fucked-‘

‘Language around y/n, Mason’ Debbie interrupted, not happy with her son's filthy mouth but he just chuckled and patted you on the shoulder.

‘What? Who do you think I learnt that word from’ he laughed ‘she’s got a mouth like a sailor’

‘Just text me okay’ she laughed, rolling her eyes once more before giving you both a quick goodbye and joining everyone else in the dining room.

You followed after, making sure to say goodbye to everyone before retreating to the living room and when your parents never came back in, Mason tapped your knee lightly.

‘We should give your parents a hand clearing up, I bet there’s loads to do’

‘No it’s fine, they said to leave it until tomorrow. I think they’ve both gone to bed by the sounds of it’ you laughed before stretching your arms above your head. ‘You wanna go to my room? Bit comfier than these chairs and I wanna get changed’ you smiled and you could have sworn he was blushing ever so slightly.

‘Okay’ he nodded and after grabbing a few snacks the pair of you hurried upstairs and into your room. You’d changed it around a bit from when he’d last seen it properly and when you switched the LED lights on and the space was filled with a purple glow, he looked at you with a shy smile.

‘I’m just gonna get my pjs on, this dress is suffocating me’ you laughed, running over to the bathroom to get changed and wipe your makeup off and when you got back he was sat up against your headboard with a soft look on his face. ‘You okay?’

‘Yeah, I’m fine’ he coughed, adjusting himself and shuffling over before patting the space next to him for you to join and you were quick to jump in next to him.

The pair of you were sat against your headboard for what felt like hours, trying to keep your laughter to a minimum but it was difficult. You’d missed his cheeky personality and he had so many fun stories from when you were apart that he was incessant about telling you about. You eventually found yourselves laid down facing each other and you couldn't help but shuffle yourself closer towards him.

‘You know, I thought I saw you once’ he laughed, rubbing your back lightly after he’d placed his arm around you a short while ago. ‘We were playing PSV and there was this girl in the crowd and I could have sworn it was you. I went over to have a better look at the end of the game but she’d gone and I realised maybe I was just going crazy’

‘You weren’t going crazy’ you whispered. Not having the courage to look at him but you could see him staring at you funny from the corner of your eye. ‘It really was me, I flew out to see you and watch a game but I chickened out of saying hi’

‘Are you serious?’ he laughed, his hand on your side so he could shake you and you laughed until you had the courage to look at him.

‘Completely, I’ve got pictures and everything’ you told him, reaching for your phone and scrolling to the album you had them saved in before rolling onto your front so he could see. Him still on his side but he wrapped his arm around your back further and leaned into your arm so he could get a better look and you could feel him chuckling as you flicked through them.

‘I can’t believe it, I was thinking about you for days after’ he laughed, rolling onto his back and even though you probably shouldn’t have, you felt yourself shuffling over so you could lay next to him. You head on his chest with an arm around his waist and you knew he was shocked as it took him a few beats to wrap his arms around you.

‘Sorry I didn’t come and see you, I just didn’t think you wanted to talk to me’

‘You don’t have to be sorry about anything I promise you’ he whispered. ‘It’s me that’s the sorry one, I can’t believe you came all that way for me’

‘I told you, I’ll always be cheering you on and that’s whether you want me to or not’

‘Of course I want you to’ he gulped and you could tell he was getting upset so you rubbed his chest lightly in hopes it would make him feel a bit better. ‘I really am so sorry y/n’

‘Mase it’s okay-‘

‘No it’s not’ he interrupted, planting a soft kiss on your forehead. The act startling you are little but it warmed your chest and you couldn’t hide your smile. ‘I haven’t felt this… whole, in a long time and I always knew it was you that missing’

‘Well in the interests of being sorry, I’m sorry about the whole safari thing. Jacks travelled here, there and everywhere and when he said he’d been I told him it was always my dream to go. After last year and everything I didn’t know if we’d ever get a chance but it’s our thing and I’m sorry I shared it with someone else’

‘It’s okay, we can make it a group trip’ he laughed, squeezing you tighter and you loved the fact he was taking everything in his stride.

‘Yeah? You’ll come with us’ you smiled, looking up at him but he shrugged and you weren’t sure if he was saying it to try and make you feel better.

‘Maybe, we’ll see’ he winked before you settled back on his chest. ‘Maybe i’ll be able to buy you your own safari to keep in the garden soon’

‘I’d like that’ you whispered, loving the fact everything had clicked right back into place and the fact that you thought this would never happen made things feel extra sweet.

You spoke quietly for a bit longer, talking about the future and what he thought his next plans were but it was way past 2am and you were both yawning your heads off.

‘Come on Mase, you look exhausted. Why don’t you go to sleep’

‘Cause I cant be arsed to get up and get that fucking awful mattress’

‘So don’t, we can share right?’ You told him, not wanting him to move either as you felt so comfy on his chest but you hoped you weren’t pushing things too far for the pair of you. You’d had sleepovers before when you were younger but never in the same bed and now you knew he once harboured feelings for you it may have been awkward but you didn’t care right now.

‘You sure?’

‘Yeah, just don’t hog the covers’ you laughed, rolling away so you could get up and pull the covers away as the pair of you had been laying on top and you laughed as he rolled around to get underneath

‘I can’t promise anything’

‘You really gonna sleep in jeans?’ You asked, sliding in next to him, not wanting to make him uncomfortable by telling him to get undressed but also knowing that he was a human radiator and it would be like sleeping next to the sun if he stayed as he was.

‘I’ve got nothing else’ he mumbled. ‘Stop trying to undress me’

‘Oh whatever’ you laughed, moving the covers back so you could finally get back in before turning your lights out and settling down.

‘Y/n? He whispered, only just hearing his voice as he was most of the way asleep and you hummed to let him you know heard him in hopes he’d carry on. ‘For what it’s worth, he was right. You did look hot tonight’

All of a sudden you were wide awake, a small gasp falling from your lips as your eyes flew up to his but he was out like a light. Small snores filling the quiet room and you thought it was typical for him to be asleep so quickly.

You ignored what he said though, knowing he was just trying to tease you and you rolled over onto your side away from him. Letting the sound of his breathing lul you off to sleep, feeling more at peace than you had in months.

Tag list - @saltyheartnightmare @harvestmount @prideofpd @sid-vii @carlottawllms @footiehoemcfc @katharinanadiaa @whenelifallsinlove @neverinadream @cityzenchick @msnmnt @stikkibun @masonmtxo @chillymountsjess @yoursselo @maseymm @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps @leclerc13

[moldychefboyardeecan]

Too Close!

A Sanji one shot I thought was cute.

WC: 1.17k

Parings: youxsanji

tags: cooking?, comfort, cute,injury,might be ooc

a/n: i get injured/weak..a lot. I often feel like a burden since so many people have to re-accommodate me. So..I guess take it from my perspective, this is how I feel. Last real post before Japan yahoo.!

When it came to Vinsmoke Sanji, you didn’t know how much of a fragile man he is. After finding out, it drew you closer to him. For so long, he kept you stable, a reminder that there’s a window to open, and he would be the sun. Always pampering you and the crew, but always kept his gaze lingering, and you seemed to have matched that too; because every time you meet his eyes, you give him a small smile, while he turns red, his eyes practically becoming hearts.

After a while, you both were more adventurous than before when it came with each other. A giggle here, a laugh there, a brush of hair away from your face and his. It was starting to become more common between the two of you to stay close together. You started washing the dishes after him, and he tried to teach you how to cook. In which you burned your fingers by placing them  too close to the torch when you were trying to flambé something.

“Fuck! Im sorry..” you muttered, placing the finger which was most in pain by your mouth, basically sucking the burn, as if the irritation would go away, but at most, all it did was give you a sense of temporary relief. Sanji took your hand and kissed your finger. “Mon Soleil, it happens. I’ll finish up here. Go to Chopper and I’ll meet you in your quarters to check on you.” Your face turned red and you were giggling— until you realized where you were and this wasn’t a daydream. Then your face, fully red in embarrassment now, gave him a hesitant ‘thank you’ before dashing out of the kitchen, trying to catch your breath from that moment.

Too Close..! Too close! Too-

..Close. A hand holds your shoulder, and by the sleeve, you recognize who it is: Sanji. Too close. But not in a way to not be friends..

..right?

“You okay? You seemed a bit..off in there. I told you to go to Chopper damnit! Not just stand outside the kitchen doors!” He gritted his teeth between his phrases, trying to hold himself back from shaking you back and forth to remind you to get a grip on yourself.

You give off a soft chuckle, in awe of his care and concern for you.

Maybe we can be this close, as friends.

After a good scolding from Sanji reminding you to be careful in the kitchen, Chopper's initial shock from your injury, you were in your quarters, your hand feeling a bit better, your fingers throbbing still. Chopper bandaged your middle and ring finger together, making it a bit harder to move the two fingers on your left hand. You sit on the edge of your bed, and lay your back against the mattress, your legs still hanging on the edge. You were a good wildcard for the Straw Hats, having helped Nami draw a map, and Franky with some repairs. But this injury would have you out of service for a few days, since most of your handiwork on the ship required both hands.

If only I didn’t fuck up that flambé, maybe I wouldn’t be so useless right now.

You sighed and stared at your ceiling, thinking about how you could still stay valuable to these pirates, who allowed you to be here, to be free. Maybe you could practice your switchblade? After all, you fight with that small thing, and you’re often well off just with that.

 No, I’d just hurt my hands more..

Cooking?

I can’t hold the pan right now, I burnt myself today.

Drawing?

My left hand can’t handle the pressure of holding something down.

Reading?

I can’t hold the book.

You groan in frustration, feeling tears form.

Why am I so damn useless right now?!

You get up and place your hand on your counter to carry you up. Your left hand. The sensitive skin behind the bandages react to the sudden pressure and in return you feel the pain burning your fingers again. You hate sitting on your ass, watching everyone work hard while you couldn’t do anything but just that. Watch. Watch how they carry their weight while you have to be put on rest. Watch them sweat while you rest. Watch them laugh. It hurt, knowing that you were on the sides for now. Those thoughts finally broke you, sending tears to your eyes. Trying to hold back a sob, you bite your lip and take deep breath through your nose. You give in to the sadness and start crying, letting it all out, whimpering and sounding like a small child. You move into your bed, away from your table, curling yourself in, leaving your injured arm out, while your other arm wraps around you.

“Am..I, really..that..useless?..” You whisper to yourself, in between sniffles. You felt your other arm wrap around yo— Wait. Your injured arm is still out. You look up and see a blonde man, hair covering one side of his face, only showing one of his big beautiful blue eyes and his curly eyebrows. Sanji.

“No, you aren’t.” He said, rubbing your side while he sat on the edge of your bed. “Trust me, you’re amazing. More than anyone would know. More than we let on, actually.” He ended with a chuckle, feeling his genuine heart echoing from him. He laid his back on the bed, his legs on the edge, as if he were still sitting. “I think I’m probably the biggest burden here, if we’re being honest.” He added.

You try to recuperate your voice back , but all that comes out are hesitant, shaking words. “What makes you say that? You’ve benefited me in many ways.”

He smiles softly, before slowly turning his demeanor to a solemn one. “I'm glad. At least you think I can help.”

Your face stiffens up, and forms a concerned look. “I'm serious. You mean..a lot to me.” You gulp down the anxiety and tension, preparing yourself for anything that would come after that.  “A lot more than I thought.”

He looks up at you, his face melting slowly once again, his eyes already swollen with a quivering lip. “You..mean it?.”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

With that, he crashed into your shoulder, pulling you into a hug tight and close.

“Then we can mean a lot to each other.” He cupped your face, and pressed your forehead against his, before pulling your lips into his. It wasn’t rough, it wasn’t careless, but a promise. A promise to both of you, to be enough not for everyone, but for the only other people that mattered in the world at that moment: eachother.

You were right. This isn’t too close. This is perfect.

[unforth]

Alright not to like liveblog my breakdown on main but yesterday was a really bad day after a really bad, like, 4 months, and I've hit a bit of a breaking point and one of the only things in my life that can give is running @mdzsartreblogs , @tgcfartreblogs , @svsssartreblogs , @erhaartreblogs , @tykartreblogs , and @cnovelartreblogs , so that is what has to give. It's been a 99-out-of-100 days thankless job. A small number of people do say thank you and yall I appreciate you so much (HUGE shout-out to the artist I met at Flamecon who gifted me a zine when I said I ran these blogs, @bonesblubs you rock) but I have never done an act of fandom labor simultaneously this labor intensive yet this invisible before and, uh. It sucks. I spend an hour or more a day on this every day, if it's under 2k hours since I started the first of these in September 2020 I'd be shocked. And I do it because I love it but doing it means I don't have time or energy to do other things I love. And I really don't want to just quit, but I can't keep this up.

In a last-ditch effort to try not to just give up, I'm making the following changes:

1. Only watching one tag per fandom for the MXTX fandoms. I am going to check *only* #tgcf, #svsss, and #mdzs. Artwork posted to any other tag, I will not see unless a mutual reblogs it.

2. Reduced tagging (even more). I'm only going to tag characters and maybe overarching au type (eg, "modern au," "fantasy au"). I'll no longer tag creatures. I will continue to tag the same common trigger warnings I already tag.

3. If a work's appearance doesn't make it obvious what it is AND the tags aren't clear, I'm not going to reblog. I can't keep spending 5 minutes or more trying to figure out what I'm even looking at, scared that if I guess wrong the artist will get mad at me for mistagging their work. If I do reblog, I'll tag only the artist name and/or whatever else I can identify for sure.

4. I am no longer going to follow #link click. The fandom is just too big. I've started dreading checking it. If I was more into it and less busy I would make another spin off just for it but neither of those is true. (The art is so good, I hate to do this, but. If you love link click, highly recommend the main tag, lots of great stuff there.)

5. I will no longer tag any non-cnovel content in the art/post. Like, if someone draws, idek, Xie Lian and Marinette from Ladybug, I'm not gonna put any tags for Marinette, just for Xie Lian.

6. Basically if I run into something hard to tag or confusing or unclear, my new policy is I'm not gonna fricken bother.

I think those are everything but idefk, I cried for 3 hours last night and got 4 hours of sleep so I'm mostly fueled by exhaustion and desperation right now and my memory is even more fried than usual.

How artists can help. This is obviously all optional. You do you. But since some people might want to know what would make my life easier, I'm sharing. I'm not claiming I feel entitled to dictate how people fandom or anything like that.

1. Put the tags for the character(s) and ship(s) early in the tag list.

2. If you make art for a fandom that isn't one of the big ones (right now the only big danmei fandoms on tumblr as far as I can tell are the MXTX fandoms and maybe 2ha) I am begging you to use my tracked tag #cnovelartreblogs

3. Do mdzs art? Tag #mdzs. Do tgcf art? Tag #tgcf. Do svsss art? Tag #svsss.

4. Not only artists, but everyone, *please* stop tagging fandoms not discussed and/or depicted in your post. It's gotten to be stupid common for people to blanket the danmei fandom tags with posts only about one fandon (like, svsss-only works also being tagged mdzs and tgcf and 2ha for some damn reason). This isn't about just my sideblogs tbh this is just fandom etiquette that seems to have been forgotten or never learned by many. Tagging unrelated fandoms isn't "reach," it's annoying. People go into the #mdzs tag to see mdzs, not whatever not-mdzs stuff people have decided to tag for ~reach~, and seeing the same post in 8 tags, none of which it's related to, is so damn irritating, and makes scrolling the tags looking for content that IS relevant take that much longer. Knock it off.

Okay. I think that's as much as I'm prepared to meltdown where everyone can see. Thanks in advance everyone for your understanding, and apologies to everyone about to see this 8 times as I reblog it to each sideblog.

At least I'm not tagging it to everywhere. 🤣🤣🤣

[fiendishartist2]

im not fucking around anymore. here's the full "Paul is Care" essay i've been working on:

“Alright. So there's uh, nothing out here, as far as I've seen. But actually, I think there is something out here. I just haven't seen it yet.”

In Petscop, the story is told between the lines. When you feel like you have a grasp on it, a single colour or date throws off everything you’ve built up. That’s why I like to look at Petscop in another way; not as a series of events, but an exploration of a single character: Paul.

Some people like to map everything out in a single timeline; when did Care go missing, when did the family get the game, when did Lina and Mike die. I think that every interpretation of Petscop has its own value, because Petscop means something different to everyone who watches it. But, when I look at Petscop, I don’t just see a series of events wrapped up in the mystery of Care’s disappearance. I see a video game used as a device to explore and understand the connection between the past and the present. I see the ways in which Paul Leskowitz is Carrie Mark.

I know that to some that notion might seem crazy; the broader discussion of Petscop is different to the niche ones held by crazy people in the tags of a Tumblr post . Obviously, this theory is personally significant and I hold it very near and dear to my heart. But, I want to share this theory in a way that makes sense to the general audience of Petscop because I genuinely believe you guys are missing out! So, keep an open mind and enter my Petscop mind-palace…

“...were signs along the way. Um, that I ignored. Because it would have been a completely ridiculous idea to me. Um. But when I found my room, it made, uh, well, I was shocked at first, but it made sense, especially considering where I found the game in the first place, um, that it would be tied, in some way, to me through you. Um. And I'm trying to think, when was the last time I saw any of you at all? It had to have been in like, 1999. I was a kid, I was a small kid. Tiny kid. Um. And after that, just, you know. But, it would make sense in the timeline.” (Petscop 11)

A lot of Petscop theories surround the actual textual proof found in the videos, so that’s where I’ll start. There’s many instances where Paul makes the connection between himself and Care, but one moment continues to stick with me. In Petscop 11, Paul finally enters the house and takes a look around. He’s on the phone with someone, presumably Belle. Paul goes up to the calendars and starts talking about Care, “Yeah, on that topic... I don't remember meeting this girl at all. Um, I don't remember knowing her at any point (…) Um, and I remember you saying that we were, that we, we are, um, exactly the same age.” (Petscop 11). He points out that he and Care share the same birthday, down to the year. We get further confirmation of this in Petscop 14, when Paul’s conversation with Jill that he had on his own birthday is superimposed onto Care’s. The next part though, is what really gets the theory started, “I do agree there's a resemblance. Um. Very strong resemblance between us.” (Petscop 11).

Faces are incredibly important in Petscop. Marvin thought Care and Mike could be rebirthed into Lina because they had similar features, and Care had to be given Mike’s eyebrows specifically to change her room. So, for Paul and Care to have such similar facial features that someone else pointed out the resemblance is significant.

They also happen to share the name “Leskowitz”, which is both Anna and Lina’s last name. We know this because his Reddit account is “p_leskowitz”.

If he’s a Leskowitz, then that explains his complicated feelings towards “the family”. “The family” is a foreboding presence throughout Petscop. Their meddling isn’t outright malicious, but even Paul admits that he’s intimidated by them. And it makes sense, as “the family” (comprised of Anna and Jill) each have a major role in the core mystery of Petscop. Anna is the mother of Care and the wife of Marvin, while Jill is Marvin’s sister and the mother of both Rainer and Mike. To be a Leskowitz, Paul would need to be blood related to Anna or Lina in some way. Paul shows that he has this relation to the family in Petscop 22, when he’s talking to Belle about finding the windmill, “And, I don't th- and you don't have to worry about it, right, 'cause... 'cause you aren't, you aren't family, so you wouldn't... have a room, that's the thing.” (Petscop 22). In this context, Paul is asking Belle whether Jill has contacted her. When he tells her she doesn’t have a room, this is in reference to the Child Library explored in Petscop 3 and 7. This means that in order to be part of the Leskowitz-Mark family (and in our case, related to Care), you have to have a room in the Child Library, something both Paul and Care possess.

Paul being related to the family is also supported by his casual mention of meeting Rainer as a child, “‘Rainer’... I saw him at a birthday party once. All the older kids were down in the basement playing video games, to hide from everyone. He was down there, too. He was older than the rest of them, though.” (Petscop 11), and his confusion of not knowing Care, with the implication that if she was real, he would have met her through the family.

A rarely discussed aspect of Paul’s character is that he can’t tell his left from his right. When he’s doing the disc puzzle in Anna and Marvin’s room is Petscop 11, “Um, we can see what the room looks like in that recording, um, on the uh, right? ... Left? Left? Right ... side.” (Petscop 14) and before he even enters the house, “And, I mean, I still get confused about that. Because, I mean, well, I know it's always the top, but, um, I still have to think. I have to think.” (Petscop 11), we can clearly see that he has trouble with directions. In a similar fashion, Care is described as “dizzy”, most notably in the end credits of Petscop. She is also described as blind by Rainer in Petscop 17, “You were blind. At some point, your movements stopped making sense.” (Petscop 17). In the counsellor’s office, the counsellor says to Paul, “Are you right handed, or left handed? You don't know? Really?” (Petscop 22). I’ll get more into it later, but this sequence is presumably a real conversation that the game is recreating. If this scene is taken from Care’s real childhood, then it confirms that she also had problems with her lefts and rights.

Now, this is the base level of the theory. It’s easy to figure out that Paul is a Leskowitz, he literally calls them “the family”. And while I think the bits about faces and birthdays and directions are significant to this theory, I wanted to get all of the textual evidence out of the way so that I could get into the fun part of this essay: the subtext.

”Some things you can't rewrite.” (Petscop 14)

Petscop is nothing if not a collection of symbols and metaphors. Ask me what Petscop is all about on any given day and there’s a non-zero chance I will start explaining why the car is orange. While it is necessary to analyse Petscop as a real series of events, I think that another approach can be taken; what if we analysed Petscop as a series of events that are happening to Paul specifically? That the game is creating meaning by placing Paul specifically in these snippets of the past. By looking at each moment as “Why did the game make Paul do this?” instead of “What is happening in the game?”, we can see everything through a new lens.

First, I want to discuss colour. Colour plays a huge role in Petscop; almost every character is assigned their own colour. This is most often used to denote who is speaking in text, but it’s also used for other things like the tool. You are probably aware that Care’s colour is yellow, as all of her text is yellow. What you might not know is that Paul’s colour is red. Paul has exactly one instance in all of Petscop where he has coloured text and that is in Petscop 22, when he gives the counsellor his name. The calendars in the house are also colour coded, as the one showing 2017 is red.

One of my favourite moments in all of Petscop uses colour in a way that supports this theory perfectly. When Paul takes Care out of the rebirthing machine, she has been transformed into an Easter egg. A red and yellow striped Easter egg. I will get into this egg later on, but for now, I want to point out how Paul and Care’s colours have been used here. Of course, it’s significant just that they've been put together, but it's more than that. Care’s final form, the egg she has been placed in to keep her safe from all of the trauma she has suffered, that she will spend the rest of the series in, is painted a combination of her and Paul’s colours. In the same sequence, when Paul is playing the Needles Piano for Care B, the “wrong” notes he plays to turn her into the Easter Egg are all red. There’s a joke about eggs and transness in here somewhere.

Right after Care’s rebirth into the egg, Paul places her in the locker with the purple egg and the “new life” letter. If we abide by the established colour theory, this second egg would be Belle’s/Tiara’s egg. By putting them together, alongside the letter, it symbolises Care and Belle’s transfer to Lina’s care; this can also be supported by the ending of Petscop. In the final scene of the soundtrack, Belle recounts when she and Paul were adopted, “There is Boss waiting for her son. Pall do you remember being born. Smuggled away driving to your new house. Boss in driver seat me in back.” (Petscop Soundtrack). “Do you remember being born” is a question posed over and over again throughout Petscop. It’s meant to be a reference to rebirthing, but here it’s Paul being asked if he remembers being born, not Care; you can also connect this to the “new life” letter, making it apparent Belle is asking if he remembers when he was given his “new life” with her and “Boss”. There’s also the implication of the wording “smuggled away”, implying that there was something stopping Paul from being taken to his new home. Paul and Care’s final scenes parallel each other; Care is placed with Belle’s/Tiara’s egg with the “new life” letter, while Paul is taken back to “Boss” by Belle. Care and Paul are both asked if they “remember being born”.

Another, smaller piece of colour theory in Petscop comes from the board games in the counsellor’s office. The board game “Accident” features red and yellow puzzle pieces that fit together, but are broken apart. Remember that Care’s colour is yellow, so assume that she symbolises the yellow piece; Paul’s colour is red, so assume that he symbolises the red piece. The red piece is bigger and fits into the smaller yellow piece, like it’s missing the beginning of it. The yellow piece comes before the red piece, as if it adds context to the red piece. When we think of this in terms of Care and Paul, we can see that Care is the “missing piece” of Paul; the small part of his past that adds the context that completes him. Paul’s piece is bigger because he’s been Paul for so much longer (if we interpret the counsellor’s office as a real event the way it is shown, then that could be the moment he changed. Or, if we consider Care’s rebirth into the egg as the moment Care turned into Paul, then that would be the moment instead), meanwhile Care’s piece is small because she was only a small part of his life.

Taking colour into account, we can get into the meat of the symbolism in Petscop. When we view the events of Petscop through our new lens, many things become significant. Paul is placed in the role of Care many times throughout the series; on Care’s birthday, in the counsellor's office, and in Rainer’s “you are Carrie Mark” monologue.

During the “strange situation” birthday scene, Paul carries around a yellow balloon, symbolising that he is standing in for Care. This is further cemented by Anna’s dialogue addressing Paul as if he is Care on the day she came home, “You made it. Happy birthday! (...) Why are you covering your face? (...) Of course I recognize you. Those eyes. That nose. That’s still you.” (Petscop 14).

This next dialogue from Anna is particularly interesting to me; she doesn’t just tell Paul that she’s happy Care is home safe or ask him where she’s been, but instead she says this, “I sure hope you’ve realised by now. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been gone. It doesn’t matter how much you’ve changed. You aren’t lost. Stop wandering and come home.” (Petscop 14). When we talk about Petscop, we have the urge to deny any supernatural involvement in the story. Whether through AI or predictive programming or alternate timelines, we want Petscop to be plausible. Understandable. Easy to digest. But, we often forget that Paul poses the question of a literal “ghost in the machine” in the first few episodes. I want to consider this quote– Anna talking to her child who has been “lost” for many years– as an act of this ghost. The game is talking back to Paul, telling him that no matter how much he has changed, he still has the same eyes, the same nose that made him Carrie Mark. And we know how important eyes and noses are in Petscop. Also as a side note, consider how Anna didn’t specify eyebrows; we know that Care’s lack of eyebrows is in some way due to Marvin, but when she tells Paul she recognises his eyes and nose, she doesn’t add on eyebrows. Paul said it himself in Petscop 7, “Um, and why am I doing that? Well, because eyebrows seem to be important.” (Petscop 7). I like to think that she couldn’t have said that Paul has the same eyebrows because, since Marvin isn’t in the picture anymore, he wouldn’t have any reason to pluck them.

Another scene that mixes up Paul and Care is the counsellor's office. When Paul finally enters the “girl wall” in Petscop 22, he is placed into a school’s counsellor’s office. Again, they talk to Paul as if he is Care, apologising for taking him out of class and saying he needs to “catch up”, implying that he’s missed a significant amount of school. As they start to play Graverobber (Jesus Christ, Rainer), the counsellor is confused about Paul’s name; they ask him if they have the wrong name written down, as his save file is currently “Strange Situation” and when they called out the name on file, Paul didn’t respond. Now, the connection here is a little more nuanced, but it still comes to a conclusion that I think greatly supports the theory. “Strange situation” is in reference to the Mary Ainsworth Strange Situation Experiment, a test in which an infant is deliberately separated from their mother to test their level of attachment. This is a very base level understanding of this concept, but when applied to this specific scene, it becomes apparent that this “strange situation” is another reference to Care. Care was separated from her mother for about half a year, only returning during the birthday party scene; the counsellor’s scene was accessible once Paul started using the “Strange Situation” file. Care stopped recognising the name she used before the seperation, considering herself to be “Strange Situation” instead. She has literally stopped recognising the name Care, and picks out her own name (which in the game Paul sets to his own).

Also consider the implication of the “girl wall”. At first, it’s an absurd joke, meant to lighten the mood using the same roundabout humour the rest of the series has. But, the counsellor asking if they have the wrong name, listing Paul as “Strange Situation” instead of his name, combined with the fact that when Paul is placed in front of the girl wall, he can’t walk away from it, it becomes a bit of an analogy; The game keeps forcefully showing Paul the word “GiRL” over and over and when he finally enters the “girl-world” as Strange Situation, he is called the wrong name and once again placed in Care’s shoes.

Let’s revisit the “ghost in the machine” idea. In Petscop 17, we are shown a past recording of Petscop; we never find out who was playing at this time, but it’s easy to assume Paul is the one watching the recording. The footage is less interesting than the dialogue, but it is notable that it’s a recording of the player running backwards in a very deliberate pattern. The actually relevant part of this sequence is Rainer’s monologue; in particular, the way he frames it, “You are a girl named Carrie Mark, and you were born on November 12th, 1992. You have a mommy named Anna, a daddy named Marvin, an auntie named Jill, an uncle named Thomas, a cousin named Daniel, ......I know what you must be thinking. Have these statements always been true? Or have I cursed you? Is there such a thing? A curse that changes your past?” (Petscop 17). There’s something about the forcefulness of this dialogue, “You are Carrie Mark,” as if Rainer is trying to make it so just by saying it. The inclusion of the birthday is also notable; we have been shown time and time again that Paul and Care share a birthday, and that this is an important part of both of their characters. So, when Rainer asks if these statements have always been true, or if it’s “a curse that changes your past”, we’re meant to interpret it as such: some of the statements are true, but the “you” being addressed is not currently “a girl named Carrie Mark”. Rainer casts a spell to make the player retrace their steps and although he might not be playing, the use of the word “you” and present tense language makes the statement pointed towards Paul. There’s something to be said about Rainer’s position in all of this; he isn’t the only tangible “ghost” in Petscop (Marvin and Tiara fit Paul’s definition established in Petscop 6), but he’s the only one to be fully dead. It truly feels, in this moment, like Petscop– like Rainer– is talking directly to Paul. The “curse that changes your past” is the part that ties it all together. This past that Paul doesn’t fully remember, where Anna and Marvin have a daughter named Care, where someone in his family went missing for months– by learning about this through the game, Rainer is essentially changing Paul’s version of the past. Your memory and physical evidence are all you have of the past; when your memory tells you one thing, but physical evidence tells you another, what version of your past is true?

“You’re the Newmaker. You can turn Care NLM into Care A, and close the loop.” (Petscop 9)

Finally, I want to explain why this theory is supportive of the themes of Petscop. Of course, there’s the obvious link between rebirth and the change from Care to Paul. But, there’s also themes of blood family versus chosen family, breaking the cycle of abuse, and of healing from your past. I want to provide an explanation of each of these themes and how the “Paul is Care” theory fits into them.

Let’s begin with the family point, since I already expanded on the family’s role in Petscop earlier. There’s a story behind the scenes in this series; the conflict between the chosen family versus the blood family. Anna and Jill against Belle and Lina. Anna and Jill are restrictive– they take over the channel and block certain things from the audience. Paul admits that he’s intimidated by them, and he’s concerned when he thinks Jill could be in contact with Belle. When we get the only dialogue from Jill, Paul is hostile and aggressive with her, something we don’t see from him otherwise. Alternately, Anna comes off as dismissive in most of her dialogue; when Care shows up at the birthday party, Anna treats her like no time has passed, like they haven’t been searching for her for months. We don’t get direct contact between Anna and Paul (except for a phone call in Petscop 11 that you could interpret as being with Anna), but the way she talks to the player through Care during the birthday party is still dismissive, “I sure hope you’ve realised by now. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been gone. It doesn’t matter how much you’ve changed. You aren’t lost. Stop wandering and come home.” (Petscop 14). There’s a level of distance between Paul and the family, which is evident from the name alone; Paul identifies himself as part of the family, but he still calls them “the family” as opposed to “my family”. When you pair that with the fact that he calls them all by their first names instead of any term of endearment (like how Rainer calls her “Auntie Jill” in his spell), it paints a clear picture: Paul does not want to be part of this family.

In direct contrast, Belle is shown a significant amount of affection from Paul. Not only is he on the phone with her for a good handful of the episodes, but Belle also has a familial connection to Paul. In Petscop 2, Paul is talking to Belle and he says “When you come home next month, and uh, hopefully you're feeling a little more enthusiastic about that now, we can investigate this together, and maybe you'll find stuff that I can't find here.” (Petscop 2). I think the casual use of the word ‘home’ to describe where Belle is staying implies a certain closeness, maybe even that they live in the same household. That’s not the part of this line that is important to me, however. Take a look at Belle’s final speech at the end of Petscop; Belle says “I could not wait too be your friend,” and Paul responds, “Family”, to which Belle says, “We can investigate this together.” (Petscop Soundtrack). After distancing himself from the family, as well as directly telling her she’s not part of the family (following it up with “Uhh... I didn't- I didn't mean it that way,” (Petscop 22), implying they have a similar connection that she’s defending), Paul calls Belle family. She states that they’re friends and Paul corrects her by telling her that they’re not just friends, but family. The most gut wrenching part of this dialogue is the use of ‘we can investigate this together’. It’s like a ward, a promise that Belle is making to Paul. He doesn’t have to go through this alone, she’s promising to be there for him. She’s going to investigate this with him, like he asked her to in the second episode. Paul doesn’t call his blood relatives family, but he tells Belle that they are his family; her and the “Boss”.

How does this connect to Care? It’s not hard evidence, but when you take this theme of family into account, it makes more sense for Paul to have a strained relationship with the family if we apply Care’s story to him. Think about it; Paul was ‘smuggled away driving too [his] new house’ and he hasn’t seen the family since he was a child, and Care’s egg was (metaphorically) placed with Belle’s and the New Life Letter when she would have been around 5, since that’s the age she was when she was kidnapped. Care went through an extremely traumatic event in a toxic environment– why wouldn’t someone step in and take her out of that family? To me, this theory extends the same closure Paul gets at the end of Petscop to Care; it tells us that even after everything she went through, she finds people who love and take care of her.

Abuse is a huge focus in Petscop, both as a plot point and a major theme. Rainer’s main motivation is to expose Marvin’s abuse of both Mike and Care to the family– whether or not that’s successful is not important. Because years after Rainer’s attempt, Paul is back doing the exact same; although, his playthrough of Petscop is less of an expose and more of an attempt at solving the mystery. Now, I think it’s a little pedantic, but in this context, I think the “cycle of abuse” in Petscop refers less to a generational cycle, but a continuous cycle that happens every time Petscop is played. Care is stuck in this version of the past that Rainer has created, forced to live through it as many years as Petscop is left on. Paul doesn’t continue this cycle though; as far as we know, Paul is the only person to reach the good ending of the game, where he’s rebirthed Care into the egg and reconnected with Belle and ‘Boss’. Paul is the only person who could understand what Care needed, because it’s exactly what he needed.

Care’s trauma is replayed for us throughout Petscop. Every knowable aspect of it is shown, leaving behind a raw feeling; like somehow, Paul and Rainer have made a spectacle of her abuse. But, I don’t think that’s entirely true. Rainer, although he is bitter and vengeful, is ultimately the person who finds the truth about Care and Mike and (if we are to believe him) is also the one who found Care at the school. In the beginning, it’s obvious that Paul is playing the game to see the mystery and is slowly engulfed by it throughout the rest of the series. When the game tells him that, “Marvin picks up tool hurts me when playstation on,” (Petscop 3), Paul proceeds anyway. The same happens when Care is caught in her room; Paul sees what is obviously a child being kidnapped and continues to solve the puzzle anyway. He picks the flower, catching Care NLM, and leads Marvin to the house. Paul follows through on everything he can to ‘solve’ the mystery of Carrie Mark, but in the end, he defies what the game has told him to do and saves Care. He does what Rainer couldn’t do: he breaks the cycle of abuse in the Mark-Leskowitz family. It’s kind of poetic, the idea that the person Care grew to be is the same person who confronts and lays to rest her trauma. The fact that playing his own theme would be the key to changing Care into the egg (a symbol of birth and potential) is beautiful.

The last thing I want to talk about is the theme of healing. This concept is more nebulous; we don’t see much of Paul post-Petscop, but the final scene does always leave me feeling hopeful for him. I think the reconnection with Belle and ‘Boss’, alongside the reassurance that, “[they] can investigate this together,” shows that Paul is out of the mindset and environment Petscop put him in. I’ve always thought that throughout Petscop, we see a deterioration of Paul; in the beginning, he’s intrigued and confused, but we see him become more and more disturbed, irritable, and frustrated towards the end. This is first evident with the CD puzzle in the house, where Paul is so out of his depth and confused that he stops acting with the same calm rationality shown throughout the earlier episodes. Then, when Paul is messing about with the demo recordings, he stops speaking in the videos entirely. When Paul sees the final blacked out object, which are coordinates to the real life windmill, he is the most stuttery we’ve ever seen, “Hm. Y- y- yep, yep. Yep... yep. N- we would- we would have to find out how big... like, we'd have to find out how big a tile is..? One of the tiles..? Like, if we could- if we could figure out how big... one tile is, in... u- in, umm... Like, feet. Or... Uhh, yeah. Meters.” (Petscop 22). He’s frazzled and excited and a little bit scared, evidenced by how he talks about the family, “They didn't... I don't like talking to them. They intimidate me…” (Petscop 22). All of this changes by the end; Paul is no longer stuck playing the game and he’s free to return to the people who love him most. This freedom is summed up in a single image: the final one we see in Petscop. Paul’s chair is empty and the blue sky beyond the desk is brimming with hope.

All this to say, Paul choosing Belle and ‘Boss’ over the game as well as saving Care by doing what’s best for her instead of finishing the final puzzle, alongside his final scene where he is welcomed home by his real family, shows us an interpretation of Petscop that paints it not as a tragedy, but a story of chosen family, breaking the cycle of abuse, and healing trauma through connection.

Thank you so much for hearing me out.

Bye-bye!

[dragonnon]

OKAY HI, JUST BEAT THE UNSPEAKABLE ADVENTURE AND BY PROXY DGS1. I HAVE SOME THOUGHTS. QUITE A FEW ACTUALLY.

Starting from the ending sequences. if you want to see my entire experience through he game just look through the live blog tag on my blog! ^^

I thought that scene was gonna be Ryunosuke and Van Zieks dueling in the courtroom, (brain want samurai fight. in fact I wanted to see a duel between Kazuma and van zieks since the 3rd case lmao) but I was pleasantly surprised. We got hints at his back story! I've been waiting the entire game for his backstory so I'm deeply satisfied. I mean I think van zieks is the prosecutor for dgs2 as well, because I never see anyone talk about a different prosecutor for dgs2 so I'm just assuming it's van zieks again.

Ryunosukes belief that no matter who you are, we can all relate to each other because we're all humans who experience human emotions is one that deeply resonates with me, and it means a lot to see it in this game, I think ryunosuke's my favorite character, he overall just means A LOT to me.

Then, with Gina, the way she was trying to be nonchalant about it all but was actually holding back tears the entire time was so cute, man. And her crying sprite reveal got me just as hard if not harder than Athena's did, like gosh, my tearducts were WORKING through the entire ending of this game.

AND RYUNOSUKE WONDERING IF HE MADE IT UP TO KAZUMA'S EXPECTATIONS BROKE ME LIKE LITERALLY. i like to make jokes that ryunosuke keeps hallucinating Kazuma, (even in the musical) but it breaks my heart every time deep down inside. Crazy how this game makes me think and feel exactly how his is. It's like I share his same grief to some extent.

(And Iris with her good news and bad news thing was really funny to me, cause I've been thinking about that for basically my entire life. personally me, I'm with ryunosuke, the good news cancels out the bad news. That along with sholmes' bit with constantly being ignored when he thinks he should've been noticed never gets old. Ever. Sholmes is king.)

Let me tell you, at the boat scene I could barely contain myself from screaming, I was so happy to see susato again and finally knowing why she was calling herself a failure all the time, despite being a actual freaking legend. ryunosuke telling her she's the BEST JUDICIAL ASSISTANT in the world was 100% deserved. She's a LEGEND. She planned ALL of that. ALL of it. And she's so humble about it too.

oh and the whole thing with the Morse code actually had me running laps around my living room, (it was 3:00AM 💀) WHAT BUSINESS DOES KAZUMA, GREGSON, AND IRIS'S DAD'S NAME HAVE BEING IN THERE. When it first dawned on me that it spelt out asogi i went absolutely feral, y'all should've seen me lmao, I was crouched on the floor in shock. if you ask me, it's gotta be a hit list right? 2 outta four people on that list are literally dead. (GREGSON WATCH YOUR SIX 😭) Wait, now that I'm thinking about it, maybe there's actually more to Kazuma's death than I thought? Gonna find out next game.

And I almost cried during the fully animated cutscene (AACJ reference lol) I miss susato already, AGAIN.

That ending sequence felt like it lasted a millennium, but once it was over it felt like it was all too soon.

I was so happy too see everyone in the character send offs. This game is really good at making me attached to absolutely every single character. Skullkin bruvvers, (& graydon) I love y'all, I hope y'all have a good time in prison, and I hope you get out the slammer soon Gina. And seeing hosonaga and soseki for what might be the last time was great, I've been missing those two.

DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE LAST END CREDITS PART. Kazuma and ryunosuke going on a stroll for a while, and Kazuma abruptly stops walking, ... I think from the text matter of this here post you can hypothesize what my reaction might've been. TEARS. Me and my siblings were screaming 😭

And then the part where the whole crew eventually groups together, I SCREAMED FOR EACH ADDITION. Look at the fuckkingggg.... SQUAD. and the ryunosuke and sholmes pose at the end there was the perfect way to end the ever. EVER... 👺👺

I'm looking so forward to playing DGS2 to see what's gonna happen next, I gotta know the van zieks lore and who the hell traumatized him that bad hat his face is permanently reminiscent of a depressed cat, and the Morse code lore, and if susato comes back sooner rather than later, and what she know about the hound of the Baskervilles!!

IM SO EXCITED. THIS IS MY FAVORITE ACE ATTORNEY GAME EVER. EVERRR!!!!

ACE ATTORNEY SERIES IS A GEODE AND GREAT ACE ATTORNEY IS THE BEAUTIFUL GEMSTONES INSIDE OF IT.

Definitely in my top three (as seen below.)

1. TGAA

2. SOJ

3. AJAA

TYSM FOR READING BYEEEEEEEEE!!!

[firefly464]

I wrote another one!!! This time it’s about Pearl :DDDD

Scott | Pearl (you are here!) | Martyn | Cleo | Scar | Grian

Word Count: 1,496

Fandom: 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Scott Major | Smajor1995 & Pearl | PearlescentMoon, GeminiTay & Pearl | PearlescentMoon, Pearl | PearlescentMoon & ZombieCleo

Characters: Pearl | PearlescentMoon, Scott Major | Smajor1995, ZombieCleo (Video Blogging RPF), GeminiTay (Video Blogging RPF)

Additional Tags: Character Study, POV Second Person, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, its the powdered snow I promise it’s nothing more than that, Pearl | PearlescentMoon-centric, Pearl | PearlescentMoon Needs A Hug, Minor GeminiTay/Pearl | PearlescentMoon, but it’s more implied than anything else, Can be read as /r or /p it works either way, 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series-Typical Character Death, Only Winners Remember the 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series, Pearl and her relationship with loneliness

Series: Part 2 of Life after Life (again and again and again

Summary:

“I wish I could have seen it,” she says with a dramatic sigh.

“No you don’t,” You don’t think before saying it, “That would mean that you’d have been in the room.”

“Hm, I guess that’s true.”

“Then you’d be on red and I’d be the only G left! We wouldn’t want that, now would we?”

~~~

Or, an exploration of the crushing loneliness that Pearl can’t seem to shake

~~~

https://archiveofourown.org/chapters/158976964

Or read it under the cut :D

~~~

It’s quiet. The night sky looms above you, as though it’s trying to crush you under its weight.

You don’t mind. You’ve always been more comfortable at night. Besides, the only alternative is the underground bunker.

You hate the bunker. It’s cold and dark, the walls feel like they’re closing in around you. Nothing like the warm and cozy basement of the cottage.

There’s footsteps behind you. You don’t need to turn around to know that it’s Cleo. You’re pretty sure she’s the only person who isn’t angry over your little stunt earlier. That’s ok. You don’t need them to forgive you.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” You gesture for her to join you. You watch as she clambers to your perch with the grace of a predator.

“Congrats on the kill.”

You can’t help but grin. It had been fun, leading everyone into that small room. Watching their faces morph into shock as they realized what was happening.

“Thanks! I’m still upset it didn’t get more people, but I’ll take what I can get.”

“Still better than some of the other traps we’ve seen.”

You think back about minecarts filled with explosives, placed in such a way that should have torn you to pieces long before you ever knew they were there. You think about Joel’s cries of frustration and rage.

You snicker. “That’s very true. I’ll have to remember to use minecarts next time.”

“I wish I could have seen it,” she says with a dramatic sigh.

“No you don’t,” You don’t think before saying it, “That would mean that you’d have been in the room.”

“Hm, I guess that’s true.”

“Then you’d be on red and I’d be the only G left! We wouldn’t want that, now would we?”

“Pfft, no of course not.”

You’re both silent for a moment, enjoying each other's company.

“Would you have still done it?”

“Huh?”

“If I was in the room. Would you have pushed the button?”

You want to deny it. To tell her that of course not, you would never do such a thing to your ally.

The words get stuck in your throat. You think about the way the curse had crept down your throat, forcing itself into your mind.

It had burned. An itch you couldn’t scratch.

You think of the overwhelming relief that had flooded your body when you were cured. Like breaching the surface after being held underneath the ocean.

You think you might understand why BigB did what he did.

Your hesitation rings out louder than any words possibly could.

You wonder if she’s going to leave you now. You hope not. You really hope not.

She’s staring at you.

“I… I don’t know.”

“Yeah, that’s fair.” What? “At least you’re honest.”

Your confusion must show on your face.

She grins and punches your shoulder a little bit. It’s playful. Kind.

“Don’t worry about it,” she says, “I already knew about the trap. I would have been able to survive it no problem.”

It takes far too much effort to keep your grin from slipping off your face.

~~~

You hate him. You hate him so much. Your skin burns from frostbite.

Good. That means his does too.

You don’t know why you feel so betrayed. You barely even know the guy. You’re… what, acquaintances? The word doesn’t feel right. But it’s the only one you have.

So why does this hurt so much?!

You’re alone. You hate being alone. He knows that you hate being alone.

There’s a nudge at your foot. You force yourself to look up.

Tilly is staring up at you. Shes probably worried about you. You’ve been sitting in the powdered snow for a while now.

Whoops.

You reach out your hand and stroke her nose. You don’t want her to worry. She’s all you have left.

“Sorry girl…” your voice is scratchy from disuse. It’s been a while since you’ve talked to anyone besides her.

She lets out another whimper and paws at the ground.

Oh. She’s trying to get to you. The snow is in the way.

You need to move. You need to pick up the snow. So that Tilly can reach you.

Yeah. You can do that.

You can bury your rage for a little bit. For Tilly.

~~~

And then you win. And your memories return full force. You think you might hate him even more now.

You don’t want to remember this. You don’t want to carry this burden.

You get it. You really do. He was lonely. He didn’t want to be the only one carrying the memories of your friendship.

You’re pretty sure it just makes everything worse.

He had known. He had known how much you despised the idea of being alone. You had told him!! Right before the curse had taken his yellow life, you had told him how scared you were of being alone!

And yet!! He left you anyways!!!

You hate him. You really do.

~~~

You swear to BigB that you’ll stay by his side. That no matter what happens or what he does, you won’t abandon him. You refuse to do that to him. To do that to anyone.

Because you aren’t a coward.

You ignore the way that Grian’s eyes burrow into the back of your skull after he joins your little team. You ignore the sympathetic looks that he keeps giving you.

You hate it. You hate that he knows you so well. Knows you better than you know yourself sometimes.

Because it’s not about BigB, is it. It’s about you. And how terrified you are of being alone again.

You know it just as well as he does.

Neither of you say a thing.

~~~

BigB dies. Scott’s the one who kills him.

You hate it. You hate him. You hate him.

You ignore his cried out apologies. You ignore the way that he looks truly pained. You ignore it all. You have to.

He looks like he’s going to cry when he stabs you through the heart.

You hate that too.

~~~

You almost manage to outrun the loneliness this time. Almost.

You thought you had escaped it when everyone had gathered in your little home for a giant sleepover. That you had chased it away with board game nights and laughter. That you had scared it off with stolen nights and secret meetings with Gem.

But then it catches up with you. For a brief, terrifying moment, it catches you. It wraps its arms around you and pulls you into its bitter embrace.

It finds you as you stare Gem in the eyes and she begs you not to do this. Not to kill her. Not to abandon her.

The world feels like it’s crashing down around you. You wonder if this is how Scott felt.

You think you might be shivering.

But then Scar puts his hand on your shoulder and you’re reminded where your loyalty lies.

Because you had made a promise to him. You had told him that you would stay by his side until the end. It was last minute, a deal made in desperation, but it was a promise nonetheless.

You had never made that promise to Gem.

Maybe you should have.

You’re forced to watch as Scar lands the final hit and she collapses.

You very nearly fall to your knees as well.

~~~

She hates you. She hates you and you don’t know why.

She says it’s to do with how you betrayed her last time. It brings up a whole other slew of questions, but you can’t find it in yourself to care about them.

All that you care about is the fact that she hates you.

Your first visit is made with the intent to help. You want to make sure that she’s doing ok, that she’s not freaking out too much.

Not that you really expected her to be. Maybe you just wanted an excuse to see her.

Instead, you’re met with hostility and anger. You’re told in no uncertain terms that she wants you gone.

It makes you want to sob.

You wonder if this is how Grian felt with Scar. If that’s why you see him glancing over at you with pity in his eyes.

Except— no. No, Grian had chosen to antagonize Scar. That was his doing. You had no say in this. You never wanted this.

You can feel the bitter chill of loneliness hovering above you.

Scott finds you crying after the first visit. You don’t need to say anything. He takes one look at you, curled up and pressed against a tree, and sits down beside you.

You know you look pathetic right now. You can’t find it in yourself to care.

There’s a small part of you that hates how easily he’s able to tell what’s wrong.

The rest of you… simply doesn’t care. You’re tired. You’re so tired. You don’t want to be alone anymore.

You lean down and rest your head on his shoulder. He pulls you into a hug.

It feels warm.

[cheol-e-kat]

• no blueberries, feat. mingyu, pt. 1 •

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁

pairing: kim mingyu x f!reader

mentioned: seungcheol, joshua, vernon, christian yu (dpr ian in part ii)

word count: 4.1K

genre: fake dating, college au, college student!mingyu, college student!reader, fluff, f2l, idiots, idiots in love, angst, pining, denial of feelings, etsablished friendship (reader & ian)

summary: mingyu was just your lab partner and study buddy for several semesters, but lately things seem to have changed, and maybe everyone else has noticed, but for the most part, neither of you even think about what you are to one another until mingyu asks you to be his 'fake' date for a long weekend trip so he can avoid an ex, the biggest problem is realizing that there's nothing fake about your relationship but when mingyu won't even talk about what you are to each other, you start to think things might be over before they even really start

warnings: explicit language, mentions of anxiety, sexually suggestive situations, drinking, established open relationship

a/n: they are literally idiots in love but they're so dumb they almost don't deserve a happy ending - i am screaming at them ;-; ooof writing part ii...and well, i need to update this with additional characters...oops (if you don't know - i am not a planning writing - i just go where the characters take me - they get their shit together - trust the process) besides it's named for a dpr ian song anyway, might as well include him for his dilf status and the accent

xx kat

[part ii] [part iii]

♡ if you would like to be tagged in my upcoming posts, go [here]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁

“please, y/n,” he was definitely begging now. 

she rolled her eyes, “dude, she’s your ex - you’re over her, just go and be normal, okay?” she was a bit annoyed at this point because he was over her, wasn't he, she wondered.

he whined softly, “seriously, just come with me, pretend you’re into me for like four days - i can’t deal with her, you know, alone,” she watched him stare at his textbook, looking fully embarrassed. 

she blinked quickly wondering how she was the friend being enlisted for this - to her they were mainly lab partners and study buddies. she had no clue how he had decided they were close enough to even bring this idea up. but she did feel bad. even as lab partners, she knew his ex was genuinely horrible, as in her entire personality was “gaslight, gate keep, girl boss” - as though those were positive things no less. 

she sighed, “i thought it was kind of a couples thing? since almost everyone is part of a couple,” she trailed off. 

he nodded, “yeah, it is, but she’s going alone - she told someone her whole goal is to fuck me one more time,” he mumbled the last part, blushing hard, “apparently, she ‘misses’ that,” he rolled his eyes, looking miserable. 

even she was shocked to hear that. it was certainly a new low. 

“that’s - that’s really shitty,” she sighed, not knowing what else to say. 

she watched him nod, still staring at his textbook, thumbing the edges of the page. she bit her lip gently, “can i think about it for a bit?”

he nodded, glancing up at her. she couldn’t help but notice how glossy his eyes looked - she worried he was on the verge of crying. she wasn’t equipped to deal with a crying mingyu. happy? sure. drunk? yes. whiny and ridiculous? no problem. 

but to see him on the verge of tearing up because he was worried or stressed or whatever, that was beyond her friendship scope. but to be fair, fake dating probably was too. even if she knew some people did mistake them for a couple. that really wasn’t the point.

the point was the longer they sat there fake studying, she knew what she was going to do. she couldn’t sit back while he went off to a terrible trip to the lake where he might be the target of his ex’s sexcapades. she knew he hadn’t dated since her, which would just be a point againts him - she could easily imagine, ‘oh baby, you haven’t even tried since me?’ - gross, she thought. besides, if he were gone for the break, she wasn’t really sure what she would do anyway. 

the standard was for them to study friday afternoon, and then they would usually met up at a party or something and would duck out for food when either of them got bored and go back to y/n's to watch tv and pass out. saturday was fairly similar, but sunday was more like study, and then they kind of always ordered food and watched tv or something. sometimes he slept on the couch - something her roommate would roll her eyes at whenever possible, espeically since ‘sometimes’ seemed to translate to almost every sunday. 

she had finally told him to just bring clothes so he would't be late for monday morning practices anymore. her roommate had wondered loudly why mingyu didn't just move into y/n's room and get a tiny corner of the closet already. she had ignored that unnecessary commentary. 

she groaned inwardly, “okay, fine - i’ll go with you, but you owe me,” you whispered. 

he glanced up, “really?”

she ignored that he sounded a little too happy and nodded, “yes, if it means you can avoid her insanity for the long weekend,” she tried to feel confident about the decision. 

luckily, she knew there was nothing between them. they’re only lab partners and maybe friends, at best, she tried to assure herself and ignore every other thought she had. 

⋆˙⟡

she truly hated packing for anything, and this trip was no exception. the only slight difference was mingyu hanging out on her bed while she packed this time. she wasn’t sure if he was nervous or what, but he kept shifting around on her bed - it reminded her of a puppy rolling around in the hope that someone would rub its stomach. she tried not to laugh at the mental image of him rolling around in search of belly rubs. instead, she tried to focus on what to pack. 

it was still warm enough to go swimming, despite the fact that it was ‘fall’ break, so she tried to decide on swimsuits. ultimately, she just packed them all - they were basically underwear anyway, she reasoned. 

“are we sharing a room?”

“yeah, you know, since we’re together and ‘finally admitting it’ - is that really what jeonghan said?” he asked. he had been annoyed about that response for at least two hours. 

“i literally showed you his text,” she mumbled as she hunted for friends-who-are-fake-dating appropriate sleepwear, aka her most oversized tshirts, sleep shorts that were as un-sexy as possible, and a few sweatshirts in case it was cold.

he sighed, “okay, but that’s such a flippant answer,” he complained. 

she snorted, “‘flippant’?”

“yes!”

she grinned, wondering when he started using words like ‘flippant’ in normal conversations. mingyu was one of those guys who she hadn’t taken seriously when she first met him - he was fun at parties, but when he wanted to study together, she had been seriously skeptical. but then she saw their first exam grades post and realized how well he had ranked. she had wondered if it was just his personality or if he actively worked to hide the fact that he was that smart. 

it hadn’t really mattered though since they had been studying together since then. something she distinctly remembered being an issue for his ex - katie had genuinely hated y/n and wasn’t quiet about it. it was maybe the only time she had seen mingyu fully lose his mind over something - she had never heard the words ‘get fucked’ said quiet so intensely, especially since that they were sitting in the library at the time. 

she sighed, “don’t you think it might be a little obvious for us to show up together?”

“not really - she always said we had some weird thing, so why not let her be right,” his voice was concerningly normal. 

she had been thinking about the fact that it was kind of a petty move. actually, there were loads of reasons she could think of for not going, including almost every scenario from a horror movie - she was not discounting serial killers in masks waiting in the woods. but her main concern was being confronted by katie - it just felt like a needlessly stressful way to spend her fall break.

“okay, but i mean, you couldn’t think of anyone else?"

he sighed, “like who? i hang out with you, i go out with you - you make sense,” his voice was soft, but he still sounded just a little disappointed that she was asking him…again. 

she rolled her eyes, “we could just hang out like normal and avoid this.”

she glanced at him, watching him mull over what she had said and not for the first time either. to be fair, her anxiety was only growing. she left him to go pretend to be discerning about how much of her skincare she was packing, even though she was blindly grabbing everything from her counter. when she walked back into her room, he was sitting up.

“even if she’s there, the trip is just to have fun and not be on campus - you know, a break at joshua’s nice lake house,” he didn’t look at her as he explained. 

she stared for a moment and turned back to her already exploding suitcase, “you only asked me because of her,” she felt like it was very obvious why she was going, but she heard him mumble something, which she ignored. instead, she violently jammed her clothes and toiletries into her bag. 

she absolutely hated that knowing katie would be there made her feel a tiny bit competitive - she had purposefully picked all of her smallest swimsuits - she had even gone to get waxed for this, something she definitely would never admit to anyone. she had even dragged out her status luggage bag - the one her step-mom had given her two christmases ago that made her cringe. there was also the little, tiny mean voice in the back of her mind that had always thought katie had never been good enough for mingyu anyway - she wasn’t especially cute, and her voice drove y/n up the walls - not to mention she was kind of dumb and objectively sucked at beer pong. y/n would also never admit that she used to play them on purpose just to beat them because she was good at beer pong. 

she jumped when mingyu touched her arm, “fuck, what?” 

she hadn’t even noticed that he was lying on his side, watching her jam everything into her bag.

“you don’t have to go,” he whispered. 

she swooped all of her hair off her shoulders in annoyance, mostly because there was something about the way he whispered, with this weird tenderness, that made her feel way too quivery. it wasn’t fair because she knew she never affected him like that. she just shook her head. she was totally fine with everything. plus, she didn’t believe him for a moment that she could just stay. she knew in her gut that she had moved something in their friendship past a boundary that she hadn’t even noticed, and now, she couldn’t just take it back without suffering the consequences. 

⋆˙⟡

she was glad she was driving. she could at least focus on the road, plus they were the ones tasked with stopping at the liquor store, so she only had to deal with mingyu and seungcheol - she only wondered briefly why no one cared that seungcheol was solo for the long weekend. actually, it only annoyed her slightly that mingyu had left that fact out - she knew he could have spent the entire break with seungcheol, no problem, which only made her wonder why he really asked her. worse was her wondering why it seemed to matter that mingyu sounded disappointed at the idea of her not going, accepting but unhappy - not like he had been when she said ‘yes’. 

she walked through the store, mainly looking for the things she wanted. her ideal party weekend was starting her day off with something bubbly and moving on to liquor by lunch. she wasn’t really paying attention to the cases of beer, tequila, and vodka mingyu and seungcheol were collecting. instead, she was in line to pay for her stuff and some edible gummy candies she noticed last minute - she grabbed several of those. she could’ve kicked herself for not asking her roommate’s girlfriend for some weed before she left. she waited next to her car for them to come out, answering a few texts. she ignored the ones from mingyu. she couldn’t help that she was from a family of people who completely avoided their emotions, plus she could see the message preview - it wasn’t anything life-changing. 

when they came out, she wasn’t super shocked by the very full cart or the fact that they practically filled the back of her suv - they had to move their bags into the seat with seungcheol. it was like half the soccer team, their girlfriends, and friends for five nights, after all. the team wasn’t known for holding back at any of their parties - the rule was ‘no empties.’ she could only hope that the people getting food were grabbing enough to balance everything out. 

the rest of the drive was uneventful. it was pretty though - even if it still looked like summer and not a bit like fall. 

the house was a massive hunk of glass overlooking the lake. everything was very modern and sleek inside. she had been imagining something a little more cozy, less brutal. but that didn’t really matter, especially when they started divvying up the rooms - she and mingyu had a room that shared a bathroom with seungcheol’s room. and it hit her immediatly, mingyu was staying in seungcheol’s room. she wasn’t sure why it annoyed her, but it did, especially when she planned to be sharing a room with him. 

she starfished out on the bed - her bed - and decided she would probably go home the next day. there was literally no reason for her to be here, and there probably never had been. also, sharing the bathroom with two whole ass guys just sounded miserable. she sat up after a few moments of moping, remembering the edibles she had - she ate three and dropped back onto the bed. she wasn’t planning on coming out of her room. mingyu could get fucked, she decided. 

it was seungcheol who was leaning over when she woke up with a yelp, “what the fuck?” her heart was pounding. 

he laughed, “sorry, mingyu wondered if you were okay, so i came to check,” he raised an eyebrow, “you seem alive, though,” he concluded.

she rolled her eyes, “thanks for the astute diagnosis, dr. choi,” she murmured and fell back onto the bed.

he laughed, “seriously though, you good?”

she exhaled loudly, “is he like standing in the bathroom or something?”

seungcheol shook his head.

“liar,” she groaned and rolled over, “i’m going home in the morning, so he can stop feeling whatever way he’s feeling.”

seungcheol looked surprised, “you’re just heading back? isn’t this like the first time you’ve like been somewhere together?”

she shrugged, “and?” your annoyance was definitely coming through, loud and clear.

seungcheol nodded, “right, you two have weird vibes, but look, i need him out of my room - my date is here, and i actually want to spend time with her.”

she could only roll her eyes, “so four people and one bathroom - this is only getting better,” she sighed, “i should just go home now.”

seungcheol shrugged, “whatever, just say it’s okay for him to come in here, so he stops whining in my room - it’s seriously killing my mood.”

“okay, whatever, i don’t care.” 

this was truly going downhill as far as she was concerned. and why would mingyu be whining to seungcheol anyway, she wondered. she heard him come into the room, but she didn’t move. even when he sat on the bed, she stayed still. 

“are you really leaving?”

she pressed her lips together, thinking, “probably not, but seriously, why did you even ask me?” 

she had maybe run out of whatever annoyance she had felt before at being woken up out of nowhere, plus her edibles were wearing off. she sat up so she was next to him, “just tell me what this is - like i’m a buffer, right? but you didn’t tell anyone that i was just coming along, you told them we’re dating, and that comes with like expectations,” she trailed off. 

“since when do you care about expectations?”

she wondered if smacking him would be too strong of a reaction. 

this was all such a bad idea. she was going to have a shit weekend and probably lose her friend in the process. 

⋆˙⟡

the rest of the night was uneventful, with everyone filtering in and no one eating at the same time. she grabbed food and something to drink and mostly avoided conversation, especially if it had to do with her and mingyu. 

she also decided if she pretended this was like a retreat, she could just focus on swimming and hiking since, according to her phone, there were some great trails around. and obeying her fake retreat rules, she grabbed some extra water and headed to bed early - she needed to sleep if she was going to go for a sunrise swim. she was glad that she brought a sleep mask and ear plugs.

her only problem was mingyu’s texts. he hadn’t answered her question about why he asked her or explained why he went nuclear and told everyone they were dating. she had thoughts on what was going on, but she was as bad as he was. even lying in bed, in her not sexy at all clothes, her brain was in overdrive thinking about him in ways she didn’t want to be, especially since her phone kept going off. she knew he was thinking about her, even if it was this pretend, fake way - it didn’t matter. she pulled her pillow over her head to try to drown out the telltale buzzing. she refused to check her phone. 

even when she finally heard the sounds of people going to bed. she cringed at the idea of seungcheol fucking. her gut reaction was that man would be loud. 

she heard the footsteps outside their door, “come on mingyu - baby, just come to my room - you know you want to,” she sat up, knowing the voice immediately. 

“no, i told you i’m not” — she heard the sudden wet sounds of a kiss.

“fuck, katie, stop - what are you not hearing?” she could hear the edge in his voice. 

she sighed, she was technically there to help him avoid this kind of thing. she got out of bed and pulled off her sleep shorts, so she was clearly down to just her panties and tshirt, and tossed her sleep mask. 

she walked to the door and opened it slowly, “gyu?” she made sure sleep was thick in her voice, as she pouted up at him adn tugged his shirt sleeve, “come to bed,” she whispered, biting her lower lip gently. 

she didn’t even look at katie, just him.

he looked at her, “hey, baby,” he didn’t miss a beat, pulling away from katie as fast as he could and walking into their room after her, closing and locking the door. 

she walked back over to the bed and flopped back onto the soft mattress, “helpful enough?” she asked. 

the low light from outside was enough for her to see him nod, “sorry we woke you up,” his voice was soft. 

she shook her head, “it’s fine, just come to bed - i want to swim in the morning,” she was already happily back under the duvet. 

he was gone long enough for her to doze, but she opened her eyes when she heard him, “do you literally mean come to bed?”

she turned over and threw the covers back and patted the spot next to her. he still looked uncertain. she sighed and moved so she was on her knees - she grabbed his hand, “how much more of an invitation do you need?”

“you didn’t even check my messages,” his voice was so small - he sounded hurt. 

she tried to find some answer in the way he was looking at her. but there was nothing besides the fact that she had hurt his feelings. ignoring him was the only thing she knew genuinely drove him nuts - he had told her when they were strictly lab partners how much he hated it - how much it annoyed him. she rarely ignored him. but she had tonight, mainly because her own thoughts were kind of fucked, seeing his stream of conciousness texts would have made it worse.

“so let me apologize,” she whispered, pulling his hand gently - it wasn’t lost on her that he was just in his underwear. 

he let her pull him into bed, and she straddled him, reaching down to smooth his hair back from his face, “what hurts, baby?” 

he touched his lips - she nodded, leaning down to kiss him softly. she held his jaw gently and kissed him slowly. she moaned faintly when she felt his hands ghost along her lower back and under her shirt. his hands were so warm, she shivered. she deepened their kiss, tracing her fingers through his hair as she did, loving how soft his hair was. they stayed that way, making out like it was the only thing in the world that mattered. even when she felt one of his hands slide down over the curve of her ass to trace his fingers under the hem of her panties, she didn’t break the kiss. she wasn’t worried about where his hands might wander. there were only so many things he could touch. 

when she finally pulled away to breathe, she still played with his hair, “so, tell me what we’re doing, mingyu - so we both know, please.”

she could feel his hands on the backs of her thighs - he squeezed her thighs lightly, “what we do every weekend, y/n,” his voice was low.

she bit her lip softly, thinking about the weekend before, letting all her memories bubble to the top. her favorite part was the way he had held her back against his chest, leaning down to kiss her while he fucked her from below. 

she shook her head gently, “just say it - tell me the way you told everyone else,” she murmured. 

she waited for anything besides silence before sitting up and shaking her head. she moved to her side of the bed. she didn’t understand how they had gone so fluidly from one thing to another without really talking about it at all. but then again, that was maybe exactly how it happened - they hadn’t called it anything - it was just what they did. and she hadn’t cared about what it was anymore than he had until he brought it up - until he told people what they were. but somehow, that was the fake part - actually calling it a relationship wasn’t real, even though they had clearly been more than friends or anything else for months. 

⋆˙⟡

she went to sleep purely for spite. and when she woke up with her alarm, she slipped out of bed, grabbed her swimsuit and went to change. it was when she walked out of the bathroom and by the bed that she felt him grab her hand gently, “are you really going out?”

she nodded, “yeah, why shouldn’t i do the stuff i want?”

“i didn’t say you shouldn’t,” he let go of her, sighing as he shifted around under the duvet. 

she didn’t repsond, instead, she just grabbed her stuff and went quietly through the house and out the back. she walked along the dock, pausing at the end for a moment before jumping into the cool waters. even when she surfaced, she couldn’t get him out of her mind. she floated, thinking about the fact that whatever they were was only nameless when they were alone. she laughed to herself. 

she got out when she started to feel chilly. she dried off and walked back to the house. she poked around the kitchen to find something for breakfast and some ice - she had kept her own drinks in their room, knowing they would be gone otherwise. 

she went back to their room, bypassing the bed in favor of going onto the balcony they had. she hadn’t looked at it the night before. she only went back in to grab a bottle of champagne. she popped the cork, not really caring that it wasn’t chilled yet. she sipped it before sticking the bottle in the ice she had gotten. she ate fruit and some leftover steak she had found in the fridge. she scrolled through her socials. 

a few of her friends had messaged to ask if she were really dating mingyu - her blanket response was easy, ‘no.’ 

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁

a/n: told you they are dumb af...trust the process, yes they're about to be messy af...but i only write happy endings

♡ kat

[part ii] [part iii]

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁ ִ ࣪⚝₊ ⊹˚ .𖥔 ݁

tag list: @syluslittlecrows

if you want to be tagged, go [here] my [master list] if you want to read more

[diamonddaze01]

⋆｡°✩ n o t e : thank you to everyone who tagged me in this ( @sungbeam , @petrichor-han , @haologram)! took me forever to finally get around to it, but excited to share my wrapped for this year!

⋆｡°✩ on poetry and homecomings - yoon jeonghan

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : my first ever fic! based on a quote by the fantastic palestinian poet mahmoud darwish. something about the words, "If I ever see a flaw of yours, I'd say my eyes are the flawed ones" made something in my heart twinge in the most beautiful way. a purely self indulgent fic i wrote after an exhausting work week, and suddenly, here we are, 3 months later.

⋆｡°✩ plan b-day - hong jisoo

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : my last fic of 2024! a lil drabble for the loveliest boy. no real notes on this, other than i am sure that murphy's law somehow targets me 50000x more than the average human being. again, purely self-indulgent, but also a wonderful way to close out the year.

⋆｡°✩ baby, darling, light of my entire life - choi seungcheol

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : the idea for this came to me after a crazy night out. though i myself have not gotten to this level of drunk yet, i definitely would scream about how pretty choi seungcheol is any day, any time. i was actually shocked when this blew up - it wasn't my favorite piece i'd written at the time, and i woke up one morning and it had skyrocketed from maybe 100 notes to upwards of 600 in one night. weirdly, i think this was maybe the third thing i had ever posted to this blog and it made me so happy that people actually enjoyed my writing. bdlomel, ily <3

⋆｡°✩ full throttle part i | full throttle part ii - yoon jeonghan

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : oh, full throttle, what to say about you (i am combining both parts into one fic - the only reason there are two parts is bc tumblr is a bitch about formatting). there are few things that exhausted me, exhilerated me, enraged me, and made me feel as proud as i do looking at this finished fic. three weeks of non-stop writing every day after work, jotting down notes in the cleanroom and during lunch breaks, and storyboarding when i should have been sleeping culminated in most possibly the pièce de résistance of my year. i had so many people who cheered me on as i wrote this fic, battled through witty banter (that i myself could never say irl) and fiery headlines, but none cheered as loudly as @haologram and @ylangelegy. alta and kae were genuinely the wind beneath my wings as i wrote this, and reading their comments in the doc was what kept me going. in the end, i'm genuinely so happy with how full throttle turned out, and seeing the reactions i'm getting from it make me feel so fulfilled.

⋆｡°✩ the somerset affair - lee seokmin

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : my first forray into longer fic writing (and i'm still battling my way through it, but we don't talk about that). if anyone knows me, they know how much of a Bridgerton fan i am - i quote anthony's speech on the daily, and penelope/eloise are some of my fav romcom heroines ever written (until they both get married, but again, we don't talk about that). i felt like writing this fic was my way to pay homage to this fictional world i adore so much. i have a love/hate relationship with the actual tone of the series - its so hard to maintain the regency tone and also write in a way that's true to my own voice, but at the end of the day it's a challenge i relish. i'm so excited to finish this series this coming year!

⋆｡°✩ 40 fics posted - check them all out in my masterlist!

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : to be fair, a lot of these are drabbles i did for my 101 drabble prompt game, but fuck it we ball. maybe i'm just insane.

⋆｡°✩ ~133,470 words written

⋆｡°✩ n o t e s : again, i think i might be a bit insane. did a sacrifice sleep to write? yes. did i storyboard at work? also yes. but then again, it's been an interesting year to say the least, and writing was a really good way to blow off steam after a stressful day at work.

⋆｡°✩ some of my fav fics i read this year - please read the warnings on each fic and do not interact with smut if you're a minor! this is in no particular order:

⋆｡°✩ unforgiven [boo seungkwan] - @haologram ⋆｡°✩ catch you when i can [smau] [chwe hansol] - @xinganhao ⋆｡°✩ the first snow [hong jisoo] - @junkissed ⋆｡°✩ what are the vibes? [choi seungcheol] - @daechwitatamic ⋆｡°✩ red card [kim mingyu] - @highvern ⋆｡°✩ an ode to hands and voice [boo seungkwan] - @ddeonghwa-s ⋆｡°✩ take my word for it [yoon jeonghan] - @ylangelegy ⋆｡°✩ prey [choi seungcheol] - @pochaccoups ���｡°✩ sit down [kim mingyu] - @gyuswhore ⋆｡°✩ ave, general [lee jihoon] - @amourcheol

these are just a few of my fav fics i've read, but if you want to see all my recommendations - i suggest checking out @diamond-reads !

⋆｡°✩ goals for 2025

⋆｡°✩ on diamonddaze01: i have a lot of collabs coming up in 2025! i hope that i can meet all those deadlines and write things i'm proud of. i've also learned that writing longer fics like full throttle or somerset affair make me feel more fulfilled as a writer, so expect a lot more of them as i further explore my writing style and characterization. i also want to go back to some of my older wips that i abandoned and reopen them, see where i can go with a fresh mindset. ⋆｡°✩ personal goals: i have a lot, but to name a few: read more, laugh more, love more. i also want to focus on establishing a better work/life balance - i know already that the coming months are going to suck at work, but i no longer want to drag the weight of corporate life home with me. work is work, and that's where it will stay. i want to prioritize my mental and physical well-being over all else, and that starts with reprioritizing things like work, my social life, and writing.

⋆｡°✩ final thoughts

⋆｡°✩ i started writing on tumblr because i was stressed from work and felt like i didn't have a community, especially at a new job and a new city. what started as some stress relief turned into a community of its own. i'm eternally grateful that i was able to meet some wonderful people this year that i truly feel a sense of belonging with. to everyone in the networks i'm in, to anyone that reads my work, to all the lovely people i've met: thank you, and i love you.

⋆｡°✩ if you've made it this far, thanks for reading, and thank you for all your support. i love you all endlessly. it's time to sign off for 2024.

with love as vast as the stars themselves, tara <3

⋆｡°✩ tagging (but no pressure): @tusswrites, @chanranghaeys, @bitchlessdino, @ddeonghwa-s , @c-oupsie, @lovetaroandtaemin, and anyone else who would like to do this!

[popcornforone]

Be A Good Girl

A Detective Tim Rockford Fic

Day 5 of Pedrotober (Esquire Photo shoot prompt)

Masterlist

Day 5, the return of everyone’s sexiest Detective. If you’re not here for Tim Rockford, then I’m sorry I feel for you. I wanted to include Tim & thought this would be a very fun way to do it. Have him show all his sides & then have you hanging on his every word. & that Esquire look Pedro had going… damn. Could have used so many photos for this, but ended up just going for this one.

Synopsis:- Your photo shoot falters when your model is late, how can your hot boyfriend help out.

Word count:- 1200

Warnings over & above:- mentions of being tied up durring sex, talk of sex, persuasion, good girl & god cop bad cop kinks, handcuffs basically don’t let me write sexual tension for Tim Rockford it’s not healthy for me.

Thanks as always for the read peoples & please thank @alyssamariag & @norththelemon for the prompt list for the month.

There you sit waiting for the hot model to come in to do this month’s shoot for Esquire. The outfits are laid out & ready to go. The couple of sets & props are ready to have some 6ft skinny model pose on them that you then need to try & make hot as you know they won’t be your type of man. But he’s not arrived. You’re running out of time to do this, it’s important for both the magazine & your portfolio to get some photos done today, this is a huge deal. Esquire don’t usually ask someone like you to do a photo shoot for them.

Instead you sit there & wait. Your boyfriend had even tagged along today. He wanted to see exactly what his girlfriend of 6 months did. You knew all too well what Detective Rockford did. It was rare for him to have any relaxation time with work, but with no case to work on, without a real suspect yet, he decided to spend this afternoon with you. Not that he’s spending it with you. He’s in his jeans, which make his arse look like a delicious peach, & shows exactly what you get to enjoy every time you are with him. He’s got a white vest on under dark blue shirt, his jacket he left in the car. He’s got adidas trainers on too. But more importantly he’s playing with the make up artists dog, letting her lick his face as he calls her a good girl & she continues to play. Each time you hear the words good girl you gasp a little. Thinking about how he whispered those words into your ear last night as you came, the clinking of the handcuffs chiming in your mind as you pulled against them, the bed frame creaking . You got the good cop bad cop in the same night & he got to watch you hit back to back orgasms in 3minutes, making him cum so hard you thought he was going to pass out.

“Fuck baby” he growled. You’re busy thinking of this when your iPad lights up with a call regarding this shoot.

“Well it doesn’t look like he’s showing up”

You sigh after coming off a call with his agent & Esquire. Everyone in the room groans. Tim looks up slightly from the dog. His hair now slightly disheveled as he’s been rough with the dog. “Let’s not make today a complete waist of our time though I have an idea” you put your iPad down & run across to Tim.

“Baby this is a huge ask, but if you could grab that jacket to the left & find some boots over there in your size, can I photograph you, just so then Esquire know the look I wanted to go for, they then might let me do it for another month”

“Me?” He asks shocked. His head looks up, if you didn’t think your boyfriend was hot before, you did in this exact moment. Those eyes are smouldering. You can also tell my the radiating face that he’s secretly excited to be apart of your shoot.

“Yes you” you plead,”please baby. I’ll do whatever you want”

“Really?”

“Yes”

“really really?”

“Yes” he then steps into your personal space, moving that stay hair off your face & whispers into your ear.

“What I want is after the shoot, is for everyone to leave & for you to lay on that dirty mattress over their & for me to investigate what’s under your clothes”

“Tim!” Blushing crimson doesn’t match how red you’ve just gone that he’s said this in a room full of people. Yes he whispered it but it was in a seductive way. You’re aroused instantly.

“Can we do that” you pause & look at the smirk across his face. You tug at his belt, he’s getting excited. His jeans are always tight fitting but that outline is much more prominent than it was a few minutes ago.

“If I can’t get the mattress & props clear it up, I promise we can head back to yours to do a thorough inspection.”

“Good girl” he whimpers. You gulp & you receive a sloppy kiss on the cheek. He then walks over grabs the boots & a jacket & lays across the sofa, the dog coming up to sit next to him. “Let’s get this over with”

You take the photos, but your mind is thinking about what Tim will do to you later. He has no idea that you actually have matching pink lace underwear on today. Hed lie you on the dirty mattress or his own bed like a man possessed. Your head hearing his dirty words from the night before.

“You want it baby, you need it, good girl, such a good girl for your bad cop”

After a few photos you look down at your camera & flick through them. Tim stands behind you looking over your shoulder.

“Hmmm there’s life in the old dog yet” he says as he slips his hand inside your own trousers. You hear the sigh as he feels the lace from your underwear & you hope no one else heard it.

“Thank you Tim, that means the world that you did that”

“Hmmm so when do you get to come to my work for work experience” he asks as costume ask for the jacket & boots back & he has to remove his hand from your arse.

“I’m not sure the police department would like that”

“Don’t care” he says bluntly now back in his trainers but he hasn’t put the blue shirt back on he’s just in that white vest. Your hands instinctively move to his muscular arms. Stroking and caressing each inch of him. Vests don’t usually do it for you at all, you prefer a man in a suit, but damn he’s rocking it all today. Neither of you are caring about the room being cleared around you “your my girl & if I want you for some hands on help, by god you’ll be in my office assisting me”

“Just assisting?”

“Orally”

“Obviously” you snigger. “Cos good girls…” you pause & tug on his belt”are obedient”

“& bad girl…” he reply’s he tugs at your hair”… know they don’t need permission” his lips vilonly crash with yours. That large hand goes around the bottom of your neck. You don’t care if he’s been licked by a dog all afternoon, he still tastes of Tim as your tongue entertains his, & he pushes his groin, hardening still, into your thighs. A small whimper escapes your lip.

“Take me home Detective” you moan when your eye lids eventually flutter open & realised the room is all but cleared. “I think I need you to work out what I have in store for you”

“Oooh beautiful” he moans & he scoops you into his arms & starts to carry you towards the door “if your let me give you a strip search, I’ll let you cum while your tied up, so be a good girl baby”

[triplexdoublex]

Let Go (Chapter 1)

Paring: Jaden Hossler x Landon Barker

Tags/Warnings: blonde Jaden, dual POV , internalized homophobia, homophobia, religious gulit, scent kink, masturbation, mentions of Coopers death,

A/N: Breaking this long ass fic into chapters as requested. Landon’s 20 as this takes place last year.

Landon

Ever since Jaden started working with my dad and signed to his record label, our house has become his second home. And with a new Album in the works, Jaden’s been here more than usual lately, recording with my dad in his home studio until late at night. Most nights after recording he just crashes here. Despite the house having numerous guest rooms, Jaden usually opts for sleeping in my room.

The first time my dad introduced me to Jaden the two of us clicked right away and quickly became best friends, so I don’t mind the company; in fact I might enjoy it a little too much.

Jaden

After a long , but productive day of recording it feels great to just chill and play some video games in Landon’s room before we go to sleep. Landon’s sitting cross-legged on his bed just scrolling through social media, while im sitting at the end of the bed kicking serious ass in Call of Duty. I honestly love that about our friendship, how we can be doing totally different things at times and yet still enjoys eachother’s company. And there’s never any need for annoying small talk or pressure to feel like either of us have to keep the conversation going. But at the same time we can talk to each other about anything and everything. The only other person I was able to do that with was Cooper. Fuck, I miss him, man. His death broke me, and although I’ve been getting help and healing I’m not sure I’ll ever be fully put back together, but I’m trying. It’s part of the reason why I crash in Landon’s room almost every night. Besides it being easier than going back home for the night, staying with Landon makes feel less alone and keeps me from getting lost in own head. He’s been a big help with adjusting to life in LA too, Moving from the south to LA a few years ago was a bit of a culture shock for me, and I don’t know what I would have done without Landon in my life to guide me through it. I seriously love him so much…No Homo. Ugh, I wish I could stop feeling the need to think or say shit like that anytime I compliment or express how much one of my male friends mean to me. Growing up in a Conservative Christian household in Texas and Tennessee will definitely do that to you. I’ve definitely grown as a person and have become more open minded and accepting since moving to LA. I’ve met and worked with some of the coolest people, a lot of which are from the LGBT+ community, including some of my fans—who i adore more than anything. I’m tying my hardest to let go of the homophobic ways of thinking that’s been ingrained in me from my life in the south and Christianity, and for the most part I have. I even joined an inclusive church out here but something about it still makes me uncomfortable for some reason and I can’t quite put my finger on it, and why I have the insitent need to make sure no one assumes or gets the impression that I’m gay, because I’m not, I’m totally straight.

Landon

I’m bisexual, I’ve known that for some time. Maybe bi-curious is more accurate? I don’t really know. All I know is as far back as I can remember I’ve found both women and men attractive, I thought everyone did. It wasn’t until I was like fourteen and one of my friends asked me if I liked the outfit he had picked out for the first day of freshman year, and I told him I thought he would look cute in it, and he asked me if I was gay? I never gave it much thought before, with LA being one of the most LGBT+ friendly places in the United States, I never really had to, it didn’t matter. But after that I found myself wanting an answer to that question too. And with some unsupervised computer time and a bottle of lotion, I quickly learned that I was, in fact, at the very least, bisexual. And although I never actually developed any crushes on my male friends or felt the urge to experiment with them, the glow of the computer screen in my dark bedroom at night became a routine, became like NyQuil to me. I’ve kept it to myself all these years, never feeling the need to come out as it was more of just a guilty pleasure and I was content with not taking it further in real life, but that all changed one day this past year while playing basketball with Jaden in the LA heat. I was about to go for a slam dunk, when Jaden jumped right in front of me, arms up, blocking my shot. The sweaty musk of Jaden’s underarms fighting its way through his fading deodorant took me by surprise. I don’t know if it was his pheromones or what, but I would have bottled the scent and doused myself with it until I drowned, It was that intoxicating. I wanted more, wanted him, his sweat, his smell, his body, his everything— fuck, I wanted Jaden.

Jaden

I’m about win Call of Duty when out of nowhere I get shot.

“Fuuuck, I was sooo close,” My body falls back in defeat, my head accidentally landing in Landon’s lap. “Oh shit, dude, sorry!” I quickly sit back up, but Landon stops me.

“It’s fine,” he says “I don’t mind. You’ve been playing that game all night. Just relax.”

“O-ok, you uh..” I scratch the back of my neck, “You sure?” I question, but I’m laying back down before he even answers.

My brain is overflowing with confusing thoughts: Is this normal? Do guy friends do this type of stuff? Is this cuddling, it certainly feels like at least a form of cuddling. And my body seems to be responding the same way as it does to cuddling; I feel safe and comfortable and a little warm inside. I’ve only cuddled with girls though. I didn’t know you could cuddle with your guy friends too? And that’s like acceptable? I’m still learning where the line between anti-toxic masculinity and being gay crosses or if that’s even a thing? But one thing is for sure, LA and the South have VERY different opinions on what’s considered gay.

What’s considered gay in the South: looking at another guy for more than two seconds, hugging another male (a quick pat is all you need), giving a guy a compliment, having excellent hygiene— hell I know some guys that don’t wash their ass cuz ‘it’s gay.’

What’s considered gay in LA: Actually being gay. So since I’m straight I guess this is okay? I hope so because I hate to admit that I really like this.

Landon

Don’t touch his hair, don’t get hard, don’t touch his hair, don’t get hard .But fuck it’s all I wanna do. I’ve had this fantasy many times before except usually he’s face down in my lap, my fingers lost in his hair as I palm the back of his head.

I shake my head to clear the image from my mind like an Etch-a stretch.I hate that sometimes my desire for him is so strong, I think about him in ways I know he wouldn’t approve of. It feels like betrayal, it feels wrong. He’s my best friend, I don’t like hiding this from him, but I know, he would be disgusted with me if he knew, I mean wouldn’t anyone, gay, bi or not? Imagine finding out the person you trust the most has been secretly getting off to you. I do my best not to give into the temptation, but how can I not when he’s gone at the studio all day and my bedsheets still smell like him.

I shouldn’t but I do, I let my fingertips flirt with pieces of his bleach blonde hair— my absolute favorite look on him by the way— aimlessly twirling small tuffs as Jaden searches through Netflix for something to watch. In the short time it takes him to choose something, my fingers have found themselves even deeper, my nails lightly grazing his scalp in a circular motion. I half expect him to tell me to stop any second now but when he lets out a small moan, it’s me who stops.

Jaden

“Holy shit, man, I’m sorry. I-I just got way too relaxed there for a second,” I blurt out in embarrassment the second I feel Landon’s hand pause in my hair. It was kind of an odd thing for him to do in the first place, and at the beginning, my old ways of thinking started creeping back in, but then I noticed my body slowly relaxing into his touch. We’ve spent so much time together lately, I think he’s just stating to know me better than I know myself, because after a long day in the studio, relaxation, is exactly what I need

“No worries,” Landon says with a small chuff of laughter “Everything’s all good bro. You really gotta stop apologizing tonight.” He starts scratching my scalp again but then pauses once more. “Do you want me to stop?”

“Actually, umm i-if you don’t mind doing it just a little longer, it’s really helping me unwind before bed.”

“Of course,” Landon agrees.

Landon

And now he’s asleep in my lap. God, he’s so beautiful, I could stare at him forever; his flawless skin, jaw so sharp it could kill a man, his full pink lips just slightly part—nonooonoo, fuck, I gotta get him off me before my dick wakes him up first. I cradle the back of his head with my hands and gently lift him from my lap, replacing my body with a pillow. He’s on my side of the bed, so I have no choice but to sleep on his.

Not even five minutes into being on his side I know there’s no way I’m getting any sleep, because despite being tired, part of me is very alert right now. I can’t control it, his smell is all around me; the sheet under me, the blankets on top, and don’t even get me started on his pillow— I can see the TMZ headlines now: ‘Landon Barker dead at 20! It appears the son of Blink182’s drummer, Travis Barker has died from accidentally asphyxiating himself with a pillow.’ I’d bury my face in it and forget to come up for air.

There’s only one thing I can do to fix it, it certainly isn’t gonna go away on its own. This time I allow myself to think of Jaden as I tug on my cock because I know it’s the quickest way to finish; alternating between pretending my tight grip is his mouth and his ass. I get too lost in the fantasy and before I can stop myself a breathy “Jaden,” tumbles from my lips…

[tarithenurse]

Inhuman

Fandom: MCU Pairing: Bucky x fem!reader, eventually Loki x fem!reader, Stucky, more (some canon, some not). Word count: 2990. Contents: The final countdown. A/N: Any questions are welcome. Please comment and like and reblog. Let me know if you want a tag.

Chapter 46

… Reader’s PoV ...

Only healing the bare necessities and working yourself to the edge of exhaustion before taking breaks, it’s been taking nearly two hours before you finally get to turn the focus to the last patient.

He’s an old man who is terminally ill of cancer that once might have started in the pancreas but now it’s everywhere. He’s been following your progress as well as the news coverage on the TV that sometimes shows the other Avengers.

“Just give me a moment, sir.”

You lean back against the wall and slide down until you’re sitting on the cold linoleum floor. Your hands are shaking as you try to open the bag of raisins.

“Let me do that, lass.” The old man has almost no strength left either, but he manages to tear a gap in the stubborn plastic and through half-closed eyes you spot his name on the plastic bracelet. Simon. “You’ve been busy.” You nod, there is no denying it after all. “So, it really is true, then. There’re them aliens coming.” Again you nod. “What d’you reckon…better or worse than the Daleks?”

His question nearly makes you choke on a raisin as you inhale to laugh. Damn dried fruit…would have been good with a giggle, you think as tears are streaming down your cheeks.

“I’m afraid they are worse, sir.”

“So that’s why you’re scramblin’ to get everyone out o’ here…”

“Yes, we need to get you all safe.” You drown the rest of the raisins with an energy drink you’ve been given.

“Screw safe. I wasn’t safe when they send me to Normandy –” he coughs so hard his entire body cramps for a few seconds after -“but I didn’t run then and I’m sure as hell not runnin’ now.”

He’s a veteran, of course. Normandy wasn’t exactly one of the great places to have been during the second world war and he must have been very young then.

“Let’s make sure you have some strength to go with that courage.” There’s not a whole lot of energy left to give the old man and even as you get to your feet you still feel shaky.

“Give me a gun instead.”

“I can’t decide what you do once you can lift your arms for more than 30 seconds, but if you want to give them hell, then I have to do this.”

You slam a hand onto his chest, sending shock waves of life through his body. With each second you pour it into the frail body, you can see the colour returning to his cheeks and the heart beat harder…then you collaps onto the floor, heaving for breath as black spots dance across your field of vision.

“Should have kept some for yourself, miss.” Tryingly, he swings his legs over the edge of the bed.

“Maybe, but I think it was worth it.”

Kaur, the young soldier appointed to help you stops dead as she barges into the room. Looking worried for a split second, she takes in the situation and then goes to help the healer instead of the patient. “Follow us, mister.” Her voice is authoritative and Simon doesn’t discuss her order.

Outside, people are milling around the last busses as they are getting ready to leave and Kaur has to let you sit down as she secures a ride back to the Cricket Grounds to meet up with the others. Out of the corner of your eye, you see a van with a satellite dish on top, but even though a corner of your mind is telling you to put up a good front it’s hard to muster the energy to care.

… Loki’s PoV ...

Perhaps it’s the lack of trust due to his track record. Maybe it’s because his ‘brother’ seems more of a hardened warrior than he does. Either way, there is not much for Loki to do and he finds himself wandering the field, zigzagging between tents, amusing himself with how foolishly reassured the Midgardians are despite the enemy they are facing. There is something almost endearing about it, as they scurry in their preparation for a battle where they don’t stand a chance. Were it not for the self-proclaimed heroes, then they would be sure to lose the impending war.

Pathetic creatures.

He is perfectly aware of the looks the humans send him as his passes them on his leisurely walk. Hatred. Suspicion. Fear even. Yes, they do right to fear him. They do right not to trust him with tasks…although for once he has no intention on harming anyone of this realm. The others have tasked themselves with the evacuation of the city in some way and the first to find an assignment had been the healer. At least it hadn’t been long after that, that her pet had been given a distraction.

Looking up, he realizes that his feet have brought him to the tent where [Y/N] has found a cot to sleep on. She’d come back not long ago, drained to the brink of collapse. Fool. Loki knows better than she that people only take without giving.

Not her though. The inkling of a reprimand sneaks into his mind before he can push it away. Her stubborn way of caring for people who don’t warrant it is so much like Mother’s and the resemblance makes his stomach bubble, because no one, no one, would ever be like Frigga.

Looking down at the slender figure on the cot, his insides unclench a bit. She’s lying on her stomach with one arm dangling over the edge, long fingers resting on the grass that waves gingerly in unison with her breath. Only a small circle around her fingers.

His brother is an oaf. He has told about this healer, but he has no idea what she truly is capable of. Thor has always been more brawn than brains and despite his change the recent years, this is unaltered.

A chill breath of wind makes the mortal woman huddle in her sleep, and Loki does something stupid: he takes off his cloak and covers her with it, gently and careful not to wake her. By Odin’s beard! At least he stops his hand before it reaches out to push a stray strand of hair away from her face. She has kept up a mask until now and seeing her true nature once more makes her appear vulnerable.

Turning to walk away, he thanks his fortune that no one were there to witness his moment of weakness.

“Thank you.” Her voice is slightly drowsy but her words are powerful enough to stop him in his tracks.

“You’re awake.” Fool. He’s already lining up a series of scathing responses to the jab she will make at his ever so dull-witted observation.

Propping herself up with by the elbow she looks around. “How long have I been resting?”

“Nearly an hour. The others are not back yet.” What is her game?

She sits up completely, but keeps the cloak wrapped around her. “No developments then that I have missed…”

“Thor and I have tried to teach what we can about the enemy to this…army.” His last word is a sneer and he sees a multitude of colours in her eyes for an instant before they settle back on the stormy bluish grey.

“I’m sorry I missed that. I would have liked to learn more about them if…” [Y/N] stops herself. “You know more about these people that are coming. Is there no way to avoid a battle?”

Pathetic human. “No.” The Chitauri and the Dark Elves love to kill and they each want dominion over any realm they can claim. The fact that they have put aside any animosity long enough to side with each other is nothing short of a miracle. “They are coming to kill every…last…being…on this planet.”

Each word has brought him a step closer to the female but as he lifts her head with a finger under her chin, he doesn’t only see fear in her eyes. There is determination. So much like the morning she recognized him. Hoping to catch her off guard he switches the subject.

“You knew who I was, why did you let me get close?” he asks.

A smile curls one side of her mouth as she leans back to get a proper look at him. “I knew who you weren’t…the rest you had to betray yourself by letting slip.”

“And this time?” Preparing himself for a verbal whiplash, he straightens up.

“Why did I let you have the chance to show kindness when no one was there to see it?”

Her words hang in the clammy air and he needs several attempts before he finally understands the meaning. He’s about to lash out in frustration as a hum vibrates through the tent and she digs out one of the digital contraptions Midgardians use for communications. Standing to stride out the tent she lets his cloak fall onto the cot and already her face is reshaping.

… Reader’s PoV ...

It’s your mom. With everything that has been going on since the news of the two landing sites, you haven’t even considered calling them and now the guilt washes over you. You are hurrying to the perimeter outside the stadium in the hope that the sound of the military operations won’t carry through the phone.

“Hey mom.” The words feel foreign for a moment.

“Oh [Y/N]! Are you okay?” The voice coming through the line is calm but you know your mother well enough to know what lurks beneath. “We’ve been watching the news and I think they mentioned you being in London. Of course, we can’t sit glued to the TV and your sisters and their families are here, so we haven’t had a chance to talk much, but I just had to know if you were safe.”

It takes a few tries to stop the mother from babbling, something she rarely does.

“Mom. I’m fine. Really, I am.” You have found a spot in the dead-zone between the Command Post and the surrounding media-frenzy. “I don’t know how much you’ve heard, but we are evacuating to make sure no one gets hurt.”

“So you are in London?” A calm, chill as the air, lets you know that your mother has gone into a more practical mode. “What do you need us to do?”

“Just stay were you are, there is no need to panic,” you lie through your teeth.

It’s tempting to ask them to go to the family-cottage in Sweden. It’s in the middle of nowhere and would be among the last places any aliens would look for people because it’s off the grid…but they wouldn’t be able to sustain themselves there for more than a week and they’d have no way of knowing what was going on. No, they have to be able to evacuate with everyone else if needed. The dreadful thought makes the bile sting your throat.

“You’ll be fine, don’t worry. I better go though.”

“I’m not worried about us, my girl.” Her voice is little more than a whisper and it makes your heart break all over again. “We love you.”

Up above the city the threat is getting nearer and if it weren’t for the clouds and the velvety darkness of the night, then you would probably have been able to see the enemy by now.

“Love you too, mom.” You have to hang up the phone before your voice betrays how scared you are feeling.

Standing for a moment in no man’s land, you look towards the array of reporters and cameras that are poised on the other side of the fencing that has been erected as a flimsy barrier. It makes no sense to you that these people are ignoring the advice of both the government and the military when they know from New York how bad it can become.

The arrival of more people makes them all turn, only reluctantly making room for four of your friends to pass them. Natasha and Clint must have found Wanda and Vision on their way back to Command Post and they light up when they spot you too.

Once by your side, Vision explains: “Westminster and Camden have been cleared and Lambeth is well on it’s way to be safe. It is my understanding that mister Stark is overseeing the evacuation of the city centre.”

“How did it go at St. Mary’s?” Wanda is on edge.

“There was a lot to do but it’s sorted now.”

“That explains why you look so tired.” Your mentor is not one to hide her observations if she thinks it can be of use as a lesson.

“Yeah…I lost count when we passed the 60th.” There had been a lot and you had only done the bare minimum. “I’ve had a chance to rest though, so it’s fine.”

A blaring sound of a siren alerts you to a new assembly. As you make your way back in you are soon swallowed in the masses of soldiers of various ranks that are flocking to the makeshift stage for the briefing.

The words are few and direct. Trajectory calculation indicate that the alien spaceships will descend in the very heart of the city and that will be where they, the Avengers, are to focus their efforts. All other personnel will be encircling that area, trying to prevent any stray enemies from getting further out and generally back up the heroes where needed.

“ETA 15 minutes. Now go and show the fuckers what we are made of.” The moustached general that has been speaking manages to kickstart a forceful round of huzzahs before blowing an old brass whistle.