#that just let's process everything
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I watched Dead poets society for the first time today and FUCK I didn't expect it to make me cry
#I fucking love that movie#It has these still shots#that just let's process everything#ISTG I was full on crying by the time the boys stood on their desks#dead poets society#enya talks
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in spite of everything, I had fun <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk 271#well we made it :'>#im kind of ignoring a lot of the tag rn ghsdff ik people are upset#if u follow me u know th full extent of my thoughts on the wrapping up of the series but tl;dr the caption says it all#this series meant a lot to me and im working on a bigger tribute to fully express that love and gratitude#but take a redraw 2 tide u over for now#im just so happy. its bittersweet but those r my kids n theyre tgt and theyre okay#i think the return to normalcy is good fr them. i say let them rest n b together n process everything in time#/i'm/ satisfied with what i got out of jjk as a whole and that's all that matters to me#however ik that not everyone shares tht sentiment n thats valid!#regardless of how u feel abt the finale i hope that u at least take time to remember things abt the series that brought u joy#thats all i can say#oh yeah anyway i lightened up megumi's expression his face is so funny in that panel i can't believe he really said -_- until the very end#still tho i think megu deserves a content lil smile
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vanha kauppahalli date but the dessert edition aka the more enjoyable edition if not because sasha has a sweet tooth so we can like these foods freely
sasha in the midst of eating merengue and almost choking to death because he thinks any comment out of maffhews mouth is funny maffhew sweetheart we have to think about the effect we have on the people around us for a single second here
#aleksander barkov#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#2425#[insert my cake vs tart vs pie translations into eng rant here yes my eye twitched lets move on.]#im sorry has maffhew never had merengue in his life girl you live in soflo with so many hispanic bakeries#wdym you dont know how to eat merengue yeah if you use that much force its gonna cave in on itself 😭😭😭😭#(man who grew up in america) “never afraid of that [powdered sugar]”#man with texture issues likes the spongy cake and not the one thats texture hell because its airy and dry#and if youre not used to it feels weird. shocker!#as someone w texture issues if its a really bad day i cant even eat it either despite how much i like it yeah i get its a chalky texture#but girl we do have to take you on like a pastry soflo tour im so serious#runebergin torttu reigning superior yeah#kills me the way maffhew just repeats everything wrong and im like oh his ears are POPPED popped after that flight huh#my guy hows your auditorial processing just asking#“keep the flag” sasha hes sentimental don't encourage his trinket collection#“runebergin torttu” “roodoboo stars?” its like talking to my grandmother at this point its beautiful#the 1619 date is intricate huh boys
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Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.
Kamala 2024!
If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.
But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.
#personal#answered#anonymous#i mean let's be clear here no president is gonna attempt to be progressive ever again within my lifetime#because joe biden tried to do like 25% of that and got ZERO fucking credit#he did so much on healthcare on reform on loans on so many social issues and for all his litany of failings on i/p#he has been distinctly harsher on netanyahu than a good chunk of dems and certainly the entire republican party#for the first time since i was four we are not involved in any wars as americans and that is thanks to joe biden#but the thing is that he gets no credit for any of it!#him pulling out of afghanistan caused his approvals to tank in a way that never recovered#and leftists gave him FUCK ALL for it#they gave him nothing they just continued whining that even tho he cancelled a bajillion in student loans#he didn't actually cancel a QUADRILLION dollars so both parties are the same and voting is the most arduous task known to man#no democrat who is running is going to forget that catering to leftist/progressive policies gets them zero leeway with those supporters#that it not only tanks numbers but you still get constant haranguing about it anyway#so they're not gonna do it#we are gonna get fuckall for at least a good fifty years#and anything we get will be utterly in SPITE of people like you anon it will happen in spite of everything you've done#mostly because of people like me and mine who understand that voting is the bare minimum#and that for the democratic process to work the way you want it to you need to participate and not pitch a fucking fit#like a four year old who was told they can't go to disney this weekend#like i know you ratfuckers are happy this played out because this is all a game to you and you don't actually care#but that's why i've got zero faith in you people and why i'm glad it's my kind of folks#actual die hard democrats who have always been hardliners for supporting democrats in every possible election#who are picking up the slack and donating to harris and supporting her agenda#which is the exact same as biden's because she's his vice president and they share they same platform#because that's what they were both running on! twice!#anyway fuck you please feel free to find a necktie and test how tall your doorframe is
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he is so cute....... bite him, reader. (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) also, i hope everyone can appreciate the motivational picture that i've put on the wip so i'm reminded of him always. <3
#meraki mumbles#reader: no one loves me 😔#skully (wearing his 'i love (name)' shirt): I DO!! ME!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! LET ME LOVE YOU PLEASE#i'm so ill about him!!!!!!#his feelings for you are so soft and tender and sweet and he loves you with his whole heart AAAAAAAAAAA#and he listens to everything you say and remembers all of these small details you think are insignificant#but to him they mean everything!!!#skully's courtship is something like spider courtship in my heart... you are his spider queen he would do anything for you#i just know rollo and fellow are sick of these two and their romantic tensions T_T#skully loving the very unlovable you in spite of everything....... i am sick. this is so twisted. he is so sincere WAAAAAAA#and then there's skully's thought process of 'no one understands me' but because no one has been willing to try#and there's reader!!! matching his freak!!! enjoying his morbid quirks all of his silliness... genuinely interested in what he has to say#they are meant to be!!! it's fate OTL
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My half of the "A Cat May Look at a King" collab I worked with the wonderful @betsib for @catlawexchange
(fun game: try to count how many hearts are in Law's spots lol)
#read the fic everyone! Bet went above and beyond with my prompt and knife twisted my heart through the process so so good#one piece#one piece fanart#cat law exchange 2024#monkey d. luffy#trafalgar law#lawlu#lulaw#nimud.art#curse you brain for not letting me draw in time everything I wanted from the story#my birthday law art of this year is just cats
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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:')
#witch hat tag#orufrey#i will go back to the angst zone at some point so..... things the way they still are in canon this won't feel right for long#having portrayed the 'we've kissed but haven't worked out the trauma and pain so what we have is still too fraught' era in writing#i just want to draw past that for a bit...there's more..we're more than just this... let's go to the gentle kiss zone#it doesn't feel right not drawing EVERY aspect of Betrayal Processing but damn i'm not going to comic about EVERYTHING it's not possible#so just let me do what comes to mind.. <- still at cai court arguing on behalf of cai (me) to me (cai)#i wish i could do more fic illustrating & be satisfied with it. i want to portray the moment where oru is staring darkly into the fireplace#and basically qifrey sorta wants to die so this shame can be over. well anyway
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if u see this post:
- unclench ur jaw
- lower your shoulders
- straighten ur back
- stand up and look at other things than ur phone
- walk around for at least 5 mins
- drink a goddamn glass of water
- wash your face
- take a deep breath and exhale
- it’s going to be okay
- you’re going to be okay
- you got this
#honestly ppl need to do this several times a day#take deep breaths babe#we need to slow down#it’s all going too fast#we need kogure and yasu rn#to slow down the game#take the time to let urself feel what ur feeljng#everything just happens too fast we cannot#process anything properly anymore#so yeah disconnect urself from the net#even if for a few mins a day#this id honeslty me yelling at myself#like SLOW DOWN BITCH
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Just remembered that Will sat on the icebox in the van for the 30 hr ride back to Hawkins
#byler#stranger things#that willelmike dynamic in the van after the monologue needs to be studied under a microscope#like why couldn’t we see the aftermath of his monologue???#what happened??#when will sat on the icebox did el and mike look confused??#did they offer to leave room for him to sit there but he declined politely like no that’s okay…#followed by the next 30 hrs of awkward#I know the vibes were OFF#that’s the reason they only let us be confronted with them by the time they arrived in Hawkins#they needed to shift the mood to confusion about Hawkins’ state#bc they could not reveal what the vibes were like before that#no but the prospects of el hugging all of them after saving max#and it’s like emotional and they’re all so relieved she’s alive#but then shortly after that when they’re planning going back to Hawkins#she’s distant again#maybe it’s with everyone so they just brush it off as her needing time to process everything#but it’s still suspicious because…#why are things with her and mike still feeling very off#and then that’s when they’re getting into the van and then will just adds to the awkwardness even more by sitting on the icebox 😭#I also noticed 2 pillows on the backseat so it’s likely that’s where byler slept in s4 during their shenanigans#so I’m guessing that where el and mike slept while Will slept on the floor 😭#no but seriously they could not show any of that without giving it all away#the angst and heartbreak and confusion and regret would have been so loud 😅
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wet on wet, attempts at some art therapy at home
#art#watercolor#abstract#i suppose!#my art#i’ve been going THROUGH it this year dear lord#and my art has taken a beating for sure#well maybe not the art itself just the feeling around it#i haven’t been able to let loose in so long#so today i decided to just do it!!!#i used my kuretake gansai tambi and a big ol brush and no palette#i just let the paint do its thing#my favorite is the first one#or the second#hm#this year has been so so much to handle and we’re not quite out of the woods yet#and on top of everything else i’ve had to heal from traumatic experiences#that i gained *at* therapy which is so painfully ironic#old ladies who don’t believe in autistic girls existing (basically) and deny my pain only because i’m young#have no place in the therapy world#she did and said a lot of other things that hurt me so deeply that it’ll take months to fully process it all :’D
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dr veritas "finally a moment of peace. should have squashed him. this gambler gets on my nerves. ughh annoying ass mf" ratio; dr veritas "you look pale. tell me if you cant hold on any longer. stay alive. i wish you the best of luck" ratio
I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOCTOR RAAAAHHHH
#yes you can take it any way you want obv#but i just love how hes so mean and sharp tongued without getting actually offensive and horrible#while showing care towards aventurine by telling him he didnt mean to offend when he said smth or him saying these#im still processing the entire story and dont fully understand everything but let me babble here all delusional ok#rambles#tbd#hsr tag
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me: waiting for shoe(s) to drop
Personified Alan Becker YouTube Icon: oh... buddy...
#me reassuring myself like#it's okay. look see? they can speedrun the genuine apology process too. see? yeah i know#i know#--/ art#L1_CAT#subpixels#alan becker#green influencer arc#ava influencer arc#(OHMYGO D BRIAN MADE IT??????? NO WONDER IT'S GLORIOUS?!?!?!?)#i don't think there will be- well no. that's a lie there will totally be more great works with these specific themes in the future . . .#because there will probably be these specific problems in the future. but W0w does it hit now.#not that long ago i know i was dealing with angst online. and that just. permeates everything. for *months*#what a shot to the heart !!! new weakness unlocked ! ! ! !#/pos ... yeah no it's. you know what i mean#ghhhhghh the imperfect files feeling defensive about not being included hhhhhhhhhhhhhh kindness to snarling creatures hhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!#gonna need to rewatch this a few more times. at Least. hooh#ps: i have a vivid memory of reading a fic on ao3 that emotionally compromised me and i saw in the notes that the author said...#''[please trust me. i know what im doing c: ]'' or something that that's what they meant. it was either a doctor who or a good omens one.#and i did trust them. and the story continued being amazing. and they didn't let me drown in that space i found myself in.#i feel responsible for not letting myself get too far underwater like that- and i have succeeded.#and i also trusted Them (scriptors directors animators etc etc etc). and i am. safe#it feels like there was a wound here i forgot about that is only now beginning to heal. . . ... . . . . . .#i think ill be 100% ready to laugh about it in like. a year. for now we roll catharsis gang#a year is maybe too long. you know what i mean. arbitrary time unit. laundry minutes.
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I think my fic where Xander accidentally becomes a successful novelist (largely without realizing it) is the funniest idea I’ve ever had. This guy started writing little stories to remember their adventures in Sunnydale (his last line in Chosen about “how will anyone even know about this unless we tell them” burrowed itself into my little archivist brain and won’t let go) and posts them online. He unintentionally goes viral. He thinks someone named Simon N. Schuster is leaving him voicemails. He ends up on the New York Times bestseller list.
He doesn’t even realize that everyone else thinks the stories are fiction. Xander is out here writing autobiographical non-fiction but everyone else thinks he’s a weirdly dedicated author that’s really committed to maintaining a Lemony Snicket style pseudonym/persona for the narrator of his novel. There are “Who Is Xander Harris?” articles. No one can dig up much of anything on him because he lived his whole life in a town that got wiped off the map. He keeps rejecting requests for interviews because of his stage fright. At first this drives his publicist absolutely ballistic but it just adds the the air of mystery that’s drumming up book sales so she lets it go.
He only responds to questions over email and only ever responds “in character” as his “novel’s narrator” and this baffles everyone, only adding to the supposed mystery. It’s literally not even Xander actually writing the emails 95% of the time. It’s Dawn. She has appointed herself as “Xander’s representation” even though she doesn’t really know what being someone’s representation means. She printed business cards.
#meanwhile the rest of the scoobies are doing everything in their power to stop this book’s publication#it’s a total comedy of errors on every single front#tagging this so claire can filter it lmao (ily claire)#xander Harris#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer#dawn summers#Dawn’s business cards are maybe the funniest part of this me and I truly think this whole thing is hysterical#xander is letting her take care of all the business stuff which is a huge part of why he has no clue what’s going on with the book ever#but also <3 he is a little bit dumb <3#but also genuinely he just doesn’t care about the business side of things all that much#he really was just writing little stories bc he loves his friends and wanted to remember the times he’s shared with them#and as a way to remember/grieve everything he’s lost. friends. anya. Sunnydale as a whole.#he’s just a little guy who’s so loyal and full of love and thank god Dawn intervened lmao#and now he’s sort of just along for the ride on the publication process#Cristina if you see this is also love you thank you
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since more of like the class swap etc started going up every once in a while there will be a question in my inbox that would take me literally multiple comics' worth of art to answer adequately lol. and I don't wanna do that under an ask I want that to have its own space! so if I don't answer ur question know that it's probably that^ above there and not that I think ur question sucks
#not art#I know I got a weird way of going about this stuff but that's me babeyy and it's my house <3#example of this that already happened on the blog is when someone asked abt pretty much just All of class swap baron#and I was like. well I'm gonna like draw that and make comics and stuff lol#I don't think I can draw like a hard line around what I'll reserve for writing about and what I'll answer in an ask etc#bc like I'm cool with talking abt the general concept and arcs I have in mind for the bad kids/player characters#and abt like the process of figuring it out and bouncing ideas off of folks#but there's a point above that where if u get to it's just. I might as well send u a lore bible or recreate the whole show for u ykwim#so yeah this is just to let u know that Im not like spiting u personally if ur question doesnt get answered#(would be a weird thing for me to do regardless tbh!)#honestly pat urself on the back lol u've hit a jackpot on subjects I Want to get to in the form of art and/or writing#I'm not an idea guy! I'm a guy who makes comics and stuff. that's how I'm approaching this (and everything else really) u get me#cool! cool. I sleep now hopefully. have a good night lads
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