#that isn't just my friend who will put up with any of my fandom rambling

[nebulousboops]

Wouldn't it be so silly to take the avatars from Trombone Champ and give them personalities and fun designs to reflect those personalities and dynamics with each other. wouldn't that be so stupid and silly and

anyway I did exactly that and I'm having the time of my life

[darkcircles4lyfe]

This doesn't have anything to do with anything, but i had a talk with a friend a few days ago, about shonen biasis and the way this shapes our expectations, and mha came up so i remembered how so many people apply those biasis HEAVILY into the manga, to the point that they sound like they're looking for a different story.

And one of those things that it seemed to be MOST talked about is exactly bkdk's relationship.

I have seen many times people from the fandom (sometimes really angrily) point out how in most cases Katsuki seems to basically take up not one, but four roles in Izuku's life and this includes putting him in situations that people associate with the MC's love interest, and it is weird that, despite Izuku "having a girl" for people to make assumptions about, he seems to completely repulse any female character that could be the counter part to Izuku's.

And this made us wonder if Katsuki's placement in those roles and lack of interest was made specifically because the author precisely did not want the actions that both do for each other as romantic but a whole another thing entirely, as a subversion for the these classic tropes, as he did by making the conflict between Ochako and Himiko not a "rivals fighting for the affection of a boy" but something that is connected to the plot of these characters instead.

Oh you bet! I am always down to talk about this, because I think about it a lotttt.

This reminds me, recently I remembered a funny habit I used to have with books I read. Like, back in middle school. I used to start by flipping directly to the last page and reading the final sentence. Usually this did not spoil anything whatsoever, but sure enough, by the time I read through the whole book, that sentence would take on new meaning.

So I started musing about what it would be like if only I could do this with bnha, if everything was already out. It made me feel so nostalgic…

Will the last panel be something grand, or something small? Hopeful or sad? Distant? Intimate? A parting message to the reader? Will it look like almost nothing of consequence to the unknowing eye—yet burst with hard-hitting subtext?

Of course I wonder about all the twists and reveals that might be still ahead of us, but it’s kinda soothing to think about how the whole thing could be put to rest. Because then I realize I’m not worried.

For once, this is not because the story is following so many tropes so predictably that I know exactly, in so many words, how it will end. It’s more like the story is a close friend who I’ve gotten to know well enough that everything they do is so “them” it makes me smirk. I'm often marveling at how Horikoshi has managed to pull all this off. How is it that (at least here in the west) people who aren't really paying attention call it basic and cookie-cutter. Even a Japanese animator called it "classic," and this interview shows such obvious dissonance between Hori and the interviewer, just... wow. But it's so clear that bnha has broken just about every rule in the book at this point, so much so that I struggle to condense it into words. I'm like--*gestures broadly at everything*--why haven't more people picked up on it??

Yet we still get bombarded with people saying "it's a shonen, c'mon, we all know how this will end." Um. No you don't. I KNOW there has to be a bunch of people who are secretly frustrated by Kacchan taking up all the roles and getting all the moments. It's not even in a mysogynistic way, because Kacchan is the most anti-dudebro character imaginable. Bkdk's relationship isn't intended for them and they know it... and you know what, I'm starting to ramble. You've heard all this before. The thing I should really be focusing on in your ask is the part where you mentioned how you and your friend were speculating about bkdk ending up as "a whole other thing entirely" rather than simply romantic.

Well, fuck it, I've been biting my tongue, but now might as well be the time I talk about this. I got into a bit of a disagreement with someone over it once and then I shut up. Because it's very difficult to approach the subject without being lumped in with those people who see bkdk as "brotherly" (ew) or otherwise try to push some "crisis of male friendship" agenda, or at the very least without being accused of enabling people to make excuses against bkdk being canon ad infinitum. So let me be clear that I do NOT want bkdk to have an ambiguous or open ending. I want their complexity and importance to be acknowledged. I want them to use their words. I think we may have created a bit of a false dichotomy there.

I am aromantic, and to suggest romantic relationships are inherently the most important and intimate goes against every fiber of my being. I also reject the idea that cut-and-dry gay representation is more desirable just because it is more easily understood by the masses than aspec representation or representation of relationships "beyond" both romantic and platonic. We recognize how ridiculous it is for people to expect Izu*cha at this point, right? Well, the reason they're so confident anyway isn't just because of heteronormativity. It's also because of amatonormativity, the assumption that romantic attraction trumps all: no matter how much focus bkdk get, Izuku blushed at Ochako, so that automatically makes them more "important." THAT is the notion that I want to challenge most. More than anything, I want bkdk's relationship to be fully acknowledged because they have so much more going for them than just attraction.

You and your friend make an excellent point, that it would be very much in line with Horikoshi's taste and the patterns of his writing so far if he chose to subvert the shonen romance trope not just by giving it to two boys, but also by disregarding its premise entirely. It's unlikely he'd try to stuff them into such a copy-paste ending right at the end.

So maybe they won't get the blushy confession, the obligatory kiss, the wedding, the 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. That's fine, we shouldn't pretend those tired tropes are suddenly revolutionary just because they're gay. But don't be disappointed! Without them, we have more room for things that are actually personally meaningful to bkdk to stand out and receive the nuance they deserve: talking through their feelings openly, building each other up like no one else can, understanding each other like no one else can, smiling at each other, embracing, holding hands, rushing to the other in the hospital, being glued at the hip (or even closer), healing mutual trauma, putting each other first in all things. Maybe we'll also get confirmation on Ochako's side as she moves on from her crush on Izuku. You know what other shonen manga took this exact angle as a way of subverting tropes and presenting genuine complexity? Blue Flag! There are so many ways to do bkdk justice.

Even a kiss isn't out of the question, if the right opportunity comes along. A perfect example of what I'm talking about is Good Omens (major season 2 spoilers) because the kiss between Crowley and Aziraphale was not at all about canonizing them. It was an expression of pain and desperation that just made sense at that particular moment. Neil Gaiman was adamant that if it took that kiss to understand the context of their relationship, you really weren't paying attention. I respect the hell out of that.

Recently I was even daydreaming about bkdk getting something similar to the sort of uh, shall we say tasteful nudity, that togachako got, because of how Izuku appears in the vestige realm.

Ya know like not in an nsfw way but in like a "this is so deeply intimate and soft that I feel like I'm intruding" kind of way... yeah. Because it represents vulnerability and openness and acceptance of someone as they are. And I don't care if people call that bait. It's not. It's beautiful. It’s honest.

[a-legacy-not-to-be-forgotten]

Why Ceroba and the Feisty Four were right

Not bothering with any fancy opening, it's exactly what it says it is: Ceroba and the Feisty Four were right to call out Starlo.

Now before you crucify me, I love Starlo as a character. But I'm tired of people (not calling out anyone in particular) pretending that he's done absolutely nothing wrong and demonize Ceroba and the Feisty Four for snapping at him (largely Ceroba, but I see the Feisty Four get shat on every now and then). And this is not me calling Starlo a jerk. Typically, calling him a flat-out jerk would mean he did shit on purpose with malicious intent, and I don't think he acted out of spite. Rather, he did all those things because he just didn't think about it in the moment. I understand that, and I can 110% relate to that myself, honestly.

That being said, he did make some legit dick moves over the course of the game. Exhibit A: Having Moray walk around with a snake in their boot and giving them rashes.

IK some of Starlo's more wild fans would probably do anything he says and all that, but put yourself in Moray's shoes (or boots I guess would be more appropriate). If your friend made you walk around with a rubber toy in your footwear that gave you a nasty rash, I think you'd be reasonable at least a bit angry at them.

Exhibit B: The Boulder Droppers

They're literal goddam boulders. That shit could've killed someone. Setting them up at a busy mineshaft is reckless enough as it is but leaving them on after you're done using them just makes things even worse.

Exhibit C: Blaming Clover for everything that happened and shooting them over it.

What am I supposed to say? If you hate Ceroba for what she did to Kanako and Clover, keep in mind that Starlo basically did the same exact thing.

Again, this is not me calling Starlo an asshole overall. Yes, he is a good monster deep down and just made some legit mistakes. But my point is, he does have flaws nonetheless and I can't stand people who ignore them. Like, him accepting what he did was wrong and coming to terms with that is one of the best parts of his character! C'mon guys.

And yes, people treat Ceroba as a horrible friend because she wasn't into it and apparently 'hates that part of Starlo' or whatever. If Ceroba actually hated Starlo's obsession with Western culture, do you think she'd indulge in his ramblings on humans?

...or helped him set up all of those wanted posters for him?

...or helping his family search for him when he 'goes missing' during a neutral run?

*sarcastically* Wooooooow, what a horrible friend...

Yes, I understand Ceroba is a very blunt and sarcastic person, but I think because of that, she ends up coming off as harsher than she means to be. Trust me, I can relate to that.

To call her a heartless bitch is a disservice to her character. She does care deep down, even if she isn't that good at showing it.

And hey, she's a mourning widow and mother, I wouldn't blame her for not being good at showing positive emotions.

As for the Feisty Five, our favorite enby fish puts it best themself:

My point is, despite snapping at him, Ceroba and the Feisty Four did not hate Starlo. They understood that his obsession over Western Culture was really important with him. It's made clear that they know he's a good monster deep down, despite his transgressions and were very ready to forgive him.

They just wanted him to dial it back. And yeah, he needed to. Granted, this is targeted at the 'Starlo did nothing wrong' crowd. If you admit that he's pretty heavily flawed but that Ceroba's done worse, I can accept that. Hell, despite me being a Ceroba apologist, I might even agree with you to a degree. But I am a bit tired of the fandom putting him on a pedestal while overhating everyone who remotely criticizes him.

[hdra77]

Ok since this blog is kinda getting alot of attention i'll just make a pinned post about a little bit of myself

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interested in commissioning me? my art commission page can be found here! (my commissions are closed )

i accept payment through ko-fi or paypal! feel free to dm to inquire or if you have questions! :D

!! DISCLAIMER !!

Please read this before following my blog!! There would be gore,body horror,dark themes and even some suggestive themes Sometimes but overall i do not post any explicit nsfw here !!

(they can be filtered through tags but just putting this here as a heads up)

tags are usually: #cw body horror, #tw body horror #cw gore, #tw gore, #cw suggestive, #tw suggestive

Using my art as PFPs/Banners is okay! As long as you give proper credit! But reuploading my works without my permission or claiming them as your own is NOT okay. I will find you and i will hunt you down and turn you into a helpless flopping fish gasping for air.

Inspirations is ok too!! But please do not directly copy from the original work.

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Heyy! i'm Soren!

He/Him

You can call me Zarou or Dra

I am bilingual but im more comfortable speaking in english (still bad at it actually)

I'm an adult but that doesn't mean i allow suggestive comments/nsfw art on any of my ocs/aus.

I'm multifandom so you would occasionally stumble upon different fandoms from me LMAO besides, this blog isn't STRICTLY Rainworld related i can do what i want

Commissions: closed

Art trades: friends/mutuals only

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My socials:

Twitter - HINDRANCE77 (!! page contains some suggestive themes !!)

Youtube - HINDRANCE77

Tumblr - hdra77 (you are literally here right now)

Ko-fi - HINDRANCE77

Bluesky - HINDRANCE77

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My tags:

#hdra7shitposts - yes, shitposts

Art tags:

#fishdoesart,#fishdoesdoodles,#fishdoesrequests,#wips

#fishbites.txt - ramblings

#other's art - gifts/fanarts! with a mix of some reblogs

#asks - all of my responses goes here

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AU TAGS:

Twist of Fate AU

(Tag: #Sprunki Fate AU)

-AU masterpost (TBA)

-Designs

Metamorphosis AU

(Tag: #nine sols metamorphosis AU)

- AU masterpost(tba)

- metamorphosis Yi design

Disarray/critical system failure AU

(Tag: #rw disarray au)

- AU masterpost (tba)

- designs

Rainsols AU

(Tag: rainsols au)

- AU masterpost

- designs

my DNI are basically the general DNI: proshippers,homophobes,etc. you know, the general

my interest varies but i currently hyperfixtate on these fandoms so far:

Sprunki

Rainworld

Nine Sols

Animator vs Animation/Animation vs Minecraft

Slay the princess

Warrior cats

Marikinonline4

My dms here are also open so feel free to send me a message! (No weird dms or you get instant block)

Im busy and i dont check discord as frequently but i would be happy to talk to you! I would also be glad to make friends im not intimidating i promise i dont bite totally-

My ask box are always open! Ask me anything basically, my aus, ocs, pretty much anything. You can also send some requests but they will take a gajillion years to finish but i promise ill get them done soon!

My other blogs:

@nyaworld-askblog - for the nyaworld au! this blog is story driven but asks for specific characters are always welcome!

My Rainworld AU tags:

#rw voided au - simple AU about iterators called voideds who drains void fluids out of other iterators, theres also some rot infection going on too

#rw disarray au/SYSTEM FAILURE - a virus in Lttm's code had created a fatal error in her system which caused her to slowly spiral into insanity as she would slowly loosen her grip onto reality, claiming that she had found the solution to their problem..but was it really the answer all along?

#rw nyaworld au - joke au about the entire rainworld cast taking place in the 2000's this one is purely just for nostalgia purposes

#into the sigverse - technically considered an au. this is just a silly little askblog about different versions of NSH interacting because for some reason they can now magically interact with different alternate universe versions of themselves. ocs being used to interact is allowed to!! anyone can use this tag however they please you don't have to send me asks to be a part of the sigverse

-- still WIP --

[billyjoecobra]

JOSEPH JOESTAR CHARACTER ANALYSIS (1)

I never see anyone talk or analyze Joseph very often in the fandom, which is tragic because i believe he's very complex!! So here's some thoughts to chew on, rattle around in your head a bit. It's all under the cut, and it is LONG AS HELL because i have a LOT to say on him!!! Warning though, it's not super properly punctuated as these are discord rambles of mine, but -- enjoy nonetheless!!

i think it's super interesting to note how every time someone puts joseph down, or does something shitty to him, he just doesn't care. not a single bit. he even says it's fine, maybe even deserved sometimes. he assumes people always thinks the worst of him, and yet doesn't really care aside from the one time he dressed in drag and got insulted about it. even then he was just kind of, "man. i looked hot though.." however every time someone even remotely upsets his friends or hurts those who don't deserve it or his family he goes. ABSOLUTELY APESHIT. he will get SO fighty.

he will immediately throw hands and hurt you physically without thinking about it he likes to put assholes in their place sometimes (i.e. the taxi driver, the nazis who insulted him. and any nazi really ) but that is different than really caring about what they say to him. i think he has a very strong moral code, though people tend to see him as quite dubious because of his loud and obnoxious behavior every consequence to his actions, he only worries what others close to him will think and he can easily be driven to a blind rage revenge if you dare to hurt his family in any way. because you DONT fuck with his family. family is the no. 1 thing he cares about

beating up racist cops? he only feels bad because he doesn't want to stress out erina with the thought of bailing him out. told speedwagon is dead? he's upset, but he keeps his cool and throws a punch at the guy for upsetting erina, and worries more about her comfort than his own. guys hijacking a plane and holding him hostage? he couldnt care less if he was the hostage, he only cared enough to stop it because it might risk getting speedwagon hurt. and it goes on

and for the sake of his family he keeps purposefully trying to risk himself to death repeatedly. when fighting kars lets not forget when he shot kars into space and his thoughts were about how he was ok with dying if it meant his family was safe i think . and i said this before this is just me getting my thoughts out way more eloquently with points i've already touched on before. but.

in a non emo way, it's really hit me how he isn't like. beat up about it. about assuming ppl always think the worst of him. he cares way more about others than himself type of guy thats like similar to "they're friendly but after awhile of their support and talking to them you realize to your horror you dont actually know anything about them at all" other than he's like. bold and brash and likes to start fights sometimes oh and lest we forget he also tends to take the death of loved ones so hard to the point that no matter the circumstances true causes he always blames himself.

he always blames himself and gets a bit. ummmmm i wouldn't say suicidal but like way too risky with his life and stops really caring if he'll die. he's just so used to nobody ever understanding him and his "off kilter" tbh neurodivergent way of thinking and living that he. like. he doesn't exactly have great self image beyond thinking he has sexy lips which sounds so silly but it's true and again it's not something he dwells on it's just kind of, A Fact to him. and this isn't even touching on the slew of issues i'm sure speedwagon's constant comparing of him to his dead grandfather must have caused.

It's very evident to me that he has ALWAYS felt like a burden to some degree i think. even when erina and speed havent really treated him as such. This is why I think his dynamic with speedwagon would be pretty strained / already seems as such -- bc. As I said before, he's ALWAYS comparing him to jonathan, even when he was just a kid.

NOW BY ALL MEANS!! I DO NOT THINK speedwagon means any ill will. it's just something that he just keeps.. doing because. well he respected jonathan so much, and it kind of clouds how he sees joseph because -- well, joseph is the SPITTING IMAGE of him. But not intending harm does not mean he hasn't caused any by doing that -- comparison can WRECK you pretty bad. joseph has made it clear that he knows he's nothing like jonathan in any regards except looks and i think it kind of contributes to his overall. tanked self image. and also the fact that he's a reminder of the tragedy of losing his parents ( or so they thought for a while. yk )

he deeply cares for him still, this much is true. he always will. but, it doesn't negate the serious comparison issue, constantly being told "WOW you have an attitude not at ALL like your grandpa, he would have never done x!! how do you look like him while being such an angry kid!!"

..... said without real malice or really bad intention, more out of exasperation. but. those kinds of things stick with kids. yknow? Joseph's always bottled up his emotions and tried to be on his best behavior for erina's sake. hes always a little more open with speedwagon. but .............. BWGHGURUGURGGH!!!!!!! i could go on for hours about it ok. but i shall move on to my next point now.

what sucks about it though is that the fandom tends to gloss over these bit of characterization at every turn. there is a lot of sadness and concerning things surrounding joseph that he just simply SHRUGS OFF about that it's kinda concerning! not that he'd ever really see a problem with it.

the fact that he was prepared to die / did the bet if only to distract them long enough to let caesar and speedwagon get away... you COULD maybe read it as a little bit of self preservation but given how he handles literally all other instances of him possibly dying., and the circumstances of him leading whammuu away being to SAVE those two. I think it yet again falls in line with "who gaf if i die i care if THEY die". then he gets stressed about the time he has left. which i imagine would stress ANYONE honestly. but . part of me thinks that it's also because this means that he has a short time to make sure he can be strong enough to protect everyone he loves and cares for..

that isn't ALL there is, of course. but i feel like with his behavior that is probably a big reason of it. You can summarize it all with one sentence; essentially,

joseph isn't afraid of death, nor dying himself; he's afraid of his loved ones dying.

This fact is extremely present in everything he does and says, but especially so when Caesar's death hits. THAT, however, i will make it's own post on. I have a lot to say on that and how it fucked him up for life. For now, though, I will move on and touch on another topic.

for all the loud opinions joseph seems to also speak none of it is ever really looked into much deeper as anything more than " he's just being joseph again" and he never really elaborates on it either, hence why a lot of people don't know much about him. While he is schrodinger's himbo -- too stupid to be smart, too smart to be stupid -- it's clearly all an act to get people to lower their expectations of him. He doesn't like being taken as a joke though. that he is a hater of for sure so. Joseph hides his true self behind a mask of idiocy and lackadaisical attitude to the point where it's blended into his actual truest self and he can hardly tell what's real and what's the mask. But at the same time, Joseph gets very angry when nobody takes him seriously because of his facade and trying to make everyone lower their expectations of him so he can pull the rug out from under them.

He's so mad when people don't take him serious but then continues to act pretty unserious and it's like. Well if you want them to take you more seriously bro you should stop doing that. Stop lowering others expectations so you can kick their asses or have a general upper hand just in case ( but he won't 💖)

he is a bit of a polarizing character but i hate when fandom reduces him to just "funny goofster" or ""cheater"", or writes him off as annoying with no depth to him. To judge Joseph through a lense of solely good or solely bad is a terrible idea; that man is gray moraled as HELL, he has a strong sense of self justice while also being incredibly underhanded and sneaky. If you dislike him, that's fine -- but don't discount his complexity just cause of that!!! He's not puddle deep, there's a lot of facets to how truly fucked up he is.

yeah. he is goofy, and he's a cheater at many things. but there's a lot to him. HE'S COMPLEX!!!!

[pianocat939]

Ok this isn't my usual content, but like hear me out. And no, this isn't like anything character related-

Just think of it...as like a scenario to fill in ig Girlie I don't fucking know, I'm just spewing words

Tw: kidnapping, stalking, mentions of violence

Ok so imagine.

There's like this drive. We'll call it Chestnut drive.

Just a typical neighbourhood street.

And on the last house, there's a married couple.

The husband, is like some super scary, really cold guy. He hates the world except for maybe his own wife. And he's a monster too- *ahem he was a thug back in his school days* But he is a handsome fucker.

And then you got the wife. Who's really nice, and never has any problems. Honestly, she's the one usually having to hide her husband's crimes.

Enter MC, who's a single person, getting the first ever house. Which ended up being right next to theirs. Everybody else doesn't go near their house, because of the husband. And yet, MC is totally clueless and ends up watching their feral dog in their yard.

The wife notices first, and strikes up conversation. She's eager to have someone new to talk to. She bakes desserts sometimes, and constantly tries to offer them to MC.

Guess who she gushes all about MC to? That's right- her husband. At first he's like creeped out and even a little jealous. But after watching you through your living room window a few nights a week, he’s realized why she’s so intrigued.

He finds MC so cute, all alone in their house. With no one but themselves really. Maybe the occasional friend over. In a way, he starts to grow protective of them, just like how he is with his wife.

Meanwhile, the wife is just obsessed to have someone to talk to who isn’t terrified of her husband. She’s constantly giving affection she tries to pass it off as platonic when honestly it’s borderline romantic

Their conversations at dinner went from a bit mundane to just simply rambling about you. Wondering which bedroom you should take, or if they should expand theirs completely.

Soon they invite you over to their house often. Just for the occasional meal or tea. Even showcasing their feral dog. (Tiny dog may I add)

MC doesn’t notice, but soon the couple’s house has little things that they like. If they like art? A few paint tubes or high-end coloured are thrown around the house. If they like music? Wow- they suddenly got a Steinway grand piano for them to play around with.

The husband is constantly checking if MC’s ok. Making sure they dress properly for the weather before they go back to their house. In any extreme weather conditions (blizzard, hurricane, rain- a shit ton of rain) he’ll just show up to their house with groceries.

The wife seems to love giving little cheek kisses and hugs. Always finding ways to present her cooking. She likes buying the occasional clothing item for them. Just something she thought would look quite fitting on them.

It’s all too late at some point, because the husband will haul them over his shoulder if they try to run away. He’ll carry them to their now big bedroom, enough for 3 people to share.

He’ll beat up anyone that tries looking for them. He doesn’t have those muscles for nothing.

The wife is just so happy to have MC in their bedroom. Giving snuggles and lots of coos of affection.

And with a kiss goodnight from both of them, MC finds themselves sandwiched between the two. Unable to move from the husband’s arms, or push off the wife who’s laying on top of them.

MC should just consider themselves as newly-wedded to this strange but surprisingly…functional couple.

(HELP- I JUST FELL DOWN A PIT OF SELF-INDULGENCE)

(I have so many ideas for this bullshit but I also have never written anything non-fandom related on this blog before…Other than my shitposts)

(Assuming I’ll probably make more, I’ll put the tag ‘Husband Wife Trio’ lmao)

- Celina

[carouselunique]

Is it true that there's no animosity between you and... you know, you know who. You never talk about her in any way. I guess I'm curious. You guys seemed like really close friends and then just weren't friends at all. And there was some stuff she said that seemed very targeted at you...

I don't know if she feels any animosity toward me or not any more. Our mutual friends have said she doesn't and I take them on their word in that regard, assuming that if they have an answer for me it's because they're aware how she feels. I wouldn't know and it's not my place to put words in her mouth.

I haven't spoken to her/about her in a long time and the only time she even crosses my mind is when people bring her up to me. As for me feeling any animosity? I'll admit my feelings on her these days are complicated and way too nuance-core for people who aren't my friends to hear about but I wouldn't call them animosity in any way. I inherently want people my friends care about to live well because I care about my friends, and anyone my friends care about by proxy and I still share friends with her. I would never wish ill on people my friends care about so animosity doesn't fit into that by definition. I'd say I'm hurt more than anything and even then I've worked through a lot of it with trusted friends who have helped me deal with my emotions in a healthy way.

(Besides, my own life struggles keep me from even being able to invest time into animosity. I have to expend that energy loving my family, doing my best to support them during our struggles. And I've never been a hateful person it isn't in me. I would rather play 'Hot To Go' by Chappell Roan and teach my dad how to do the hand gestures to help him strengthen his muscles again than focus on hating anyone...)

I try not to think about her because it hurts. I often think that people forget that I'm a real person outside of her sphere, and that I wouldn't want to talk about what happened because I truly did consider her a friend for a long time. And when someone I consider a friend appears to not regard me with care any more suddenly and I don't even have closure on that... well... it hurts... A lot. Of course I never talk about it.

And I'm not stupid, I have seen some stuff she's said that I've gathered was about me. I remind myself that she has a right to vent in her own spaces and I truly mean that... it's just a shame that her own spaces have people who then have taken these things to me to show me (after all, I wouldn't have even seen these things myself if not for third-party anons going 'this u?') saying it is my own fault because I was a terribly cruel friend or my own fault for not listening to warnings about her when I had the chance and that makes me a stupid gullible bitch. You lot haven't seen some of the awful shit about me from some of her more ravenous fans and haters I've seen over the years that I've had to let roll off my back in the fear it would bring backlash - not even to me, to her. I don't want to be the cause of any hatred going to anyone.

Also I'm just not going to ever talk about the details of our fallen friendship or our fallen relationship. That's private. She might be a public person to some extent but I never was, even if I do gain some measure of small fandom for my work one day I'm just private about personal matters especially raw ones. I almost deleted this ask entirely but Idk I never stated that it bothers me when people talk to me about her from my own mouth, so I guess that's what this ramble is.

If you send me anything about Lily Orchard it will not be addressed. I am not a part of her life not even through our mutual friends. I do not know or care what's going on with her public/personal life. I haven't kept up. I will never keep up. Don't treat me as an extension of the situation because I am not in the situation. In the most plainly stated sense of the word: Leave me the Hell alone. (...pretty please.)

All I've wanted this entire time was to be left alone to process everything in a healthy, peaceful way. I'm workin' on it.

[lineffability]

on crowley's loneliness

there's sth that has been sitting with me vis a vis Crowley, loneliness, and what the fandom, largely, has made of it... and it is the notion, simply put, that Crowley is - well - lonely.

but of course he is, you might say, I've even got textual evidence for it! and you might quote Good Omens Season 2 Episode A Companion to Owls directed by Douglas MacKinnon and written by John Finnemore, and you might point to the final conversation of the Job Minisode, when they agree that being a demon/angel who goes along with hell/heaven as far as he can is...lonely!

and, yes, that's right and true.

and yet. still. I want to argue against Crowley being lonely. at least to some extent. I'm not saying crowley isn't lonely, it's more about how that loneliness is sometimes portrayed/interpreted/understood?

I think we need to look at Crowley's loneliness on different levels: his loneliness vis a vis humanity and his loneliness vis a vis the occult/his job/his place in the ineffable scheme of things

because it's right there in the quote, isn't it? it's lonely to be a demon who doesn't feel part of hell. it's not about being lonely on earth with the humans.

when it comes to humanity and friendships to humans, regardless how close or not they may be, Crowley is not lonely! he forms attachments, he meets and knows tons of people, he schemes, he has fun (Jane Austen anyone???? I mean it's actual canon) and yes of course they all die - of course Crowley's human friendships, just like Aziraphale's, are always slightly detached because , well y'know, they will outlive every single human they will ever meet, and that will influence your attachment style. they don't even really meet humans as equals, arguably, but they both have been shown to continuously engage in friendships, whether those are superficial acquaintances (like neighbor Maggie to Aziraphale) or genuine connections (like Leonardo Da Vinci or Jesus, both canonically really close relationships of Crowley's!!) but it's not even the fact that human friendships are fleeting that makes him lonely in the end - it doesn't cheapen the experience. he's used to people coming and going. it's the way things are.

where the loneliness hits, and yes it hits hard, is on the supernatural level. hated by heaven and hell etc etc. before he became closer with Aziraphale (so roughly around Job) he was truly a solo agent, all alone against the not-world, and this experience of defying both hell and his arguable purpose as a demon made him lonely where it mattered most. but Aziraphale has since been with him, they are the same, they are a group of the two of them and they are only lonely together, which is a different kind of loneliness. it holds defiance and partnership - us against the world.

he still struggles with purpose, both his own and that of the universe, he struggles with his own love for humans and God's seeming indifference to them, and there's loneliness in that too, or at least pain, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have any friends??

ah I think this is the bit that gets me! that people think he doesn't have any friends! or that he doesn't have a life outside of Aziraphale! there we are, I have arrived at the core of my problem apparently. (idk if I'm making any sense with this incoherent rambling, I'm making it up as I go)

but basically I just have been irked by seeing this idea a few to many times that's basically: 'aziraphale is a happy little socialite who draws friends to him like moths to an angelic flame while crowley needily and sadly and longingly waits by himself for the angel to grace him with his company' (this is slightly exaggerated maybe but you get my drift, and I'm sure you've seen takes like that) (I love pining Crowley as much as anyone believe me, and oh boy does he do pine - but you know what I mean right??) (I just love this stupid optimistic and loving demon too much)

[laugtherhyena]

What are some of you're favourite Sprite edits you've made Whether that be this year, or any over years you've been in the sprite editing business

Ok so I've made A LOT of edits over the years so it took a lil while for me to sort out the favorites and why exactly, but here it is so get ready for some rambling!

First things first i gotta say this isn't really organized from the one i like the most and least, i like all of these edits a whole lot and i really don't think i can pick one or two to be the favorite.

So let's start from the start (sorta) i have to give a spot to my Fantasy Au twins edits, it would be illegal to not put them in this list

The Sdra2 Fantasy Au was one of the first things i made in the fandom and i was attached to it for a long while. These are actually the 4th version of their sprites, out of all them only the 3rd had a full gallery of sprites and trust me they were complex since on top of posting i even made different tails and ears to move around depending on the emotion of the sprite.

Even tho i never finished this 4th take on them I'm pretty happy with the redesign (since as i grew older i realized some of my choices were questionable and i really should have thought more before just going with it, just keep in mind i was a dumb 14-15 year old then) and the improvement on graphical quality because not only does it show how much i improved in editing but also because editing the fantasy twins were my first really hard edits and i was always happy with how well i was able to translate their weird little designs to sprite form.

The Fantasy Au as a whole had a lot of edits with a bunch of complicated details that i never finshed and although I don't like them as much as the twins i do feel like they deserve to be shown somehere so have this pile of lizards, undead firemen and two human girls.

(fun fact; i didn't know how to add textures back then so see those scales on the dragons? I made them all by hand-)

Next one on the list has gotta be the Nijiue siblings! Crazy to think these guys are only 2-3 years old like it feels like they've been with me for ao much longer!

These guys where my first try at making Oc sprites since before all i did were Au stuff and they're very very dear to me, as you can probably guess by the amount of spites an different iterations i made of them over the years. While there are a few things i could improve upon them if i were to remake their edits nowadays, i never felt a strong need to do so because as it is their sprites hold up well imo so remaking them feels unnecessary to me.

And you know I can't really talk about them without mentioning the Voidswap Au and a couple tumblr blogs owned by friends of mine. After Voidswap's cancelation i didn't thought I'd ever use these guys for anything so to think that nowadays there's so many people who not only know these characters but care for them a lot out of seeing them in Asoot and Dfta more recently really fills me with joy! I'm glad y'all enjoy my silly siblings so much and obviously huge thanks to the mods for wanting to include them in their stories, I really couldn't be more thankful for that!

And since we're talking about the fam, let me add Mako to the list as an honorable mention of sorts, a i'm still very happy with how i made her adult designs especially the whole closed trenchcoat and open trenchcoat thing she has going on and how i was able to cary out the heart motif on both of them :]

This next one is one of my newer edits + a pretty simple one which is this Irl Sora design i made for mod Bubbles around early this year.

Honestly, I don't even know how to explain why i like it this much? Maybe it's because Sora is one of the characters from Sdra2 i still decently enjoy or because i had a fun time coming up with her design. I had in mind that i wanted something plain and simple just like her in-game one, just adapted to a more adult look. Rolled up sleeves to resemble her uniform's ones and a scarf to bring back the spark of red her old design had, i also gave her the short hair that post game Yuki has because it's still her body at the end of the day + i think butch-ish Sora looks pretty good :]

From simplicity we jump back into weirdness with these last ones because obviously i wouldn't leave my girls out of this list, what did you guys even expect?

Favoritism? Absolutely, by now I'm sure all of you know how much i like these two but focusing on the graphical side for once, I'm super proud of their designs, i think they fit with the weirdness of some of Linuj's design choices pretty well which in turn makes them look kinda legit? In my head at least. I also had a lot of fun working on their sprites, especially Beni's since it had been a long while since i last tried to really exaggerate expressions on sprites of my characters so that was really fun! + I'm super proud of the baby sprites i made of them too, almost as much as i like their standard/adult designs really.

[crows-of-buckets]

finally deciding to make an about me post yippee yay!!

Hi my name is Crow! Most of what I reblog is fandom stuff, and I jump between fandoms quite frequently <//3 I have a few that I tend to come back to regularly however (Somehow I manage to have a dragon age obsession at least once a year. it is very consistent)

If I don't respond to something, it is either bc 1) I genuinely don't know what to say and social interactions terrify me, 2) I was too tired to respond to something when I saw it then I promptly forgot about it or 3) got anxious and convinced myself that the person who sent it hates me or something. Deepest apologies I'm just awful at stuff like that and have pretty bad anxiety I do try though <//3

I block very very generously! If you do end up blocked by me it may not be for any actually bad reasons, you could have just worded something in a way that mildly annoyed me, please dont take offense to it lmao. Me and the block button are madly in love, and I do not hesitate to press it. This is mostly just to curate an experience that is fun for me, and also to avoid me getting overly mad about random bad takes i see. Bigotry of any kind is not tolerated and you will be blocked.

I tend to ramble on about my ocs a worrying amount. As of right now, I am rather focused on my dragon age ocs, but i also have personal ocs and ocs for other fandoms

About tagging

Generally I try to tag things appropriately, although sometimes i am not the brightest and forget. If I do that's my bad I'll normally notice before too long

I tag all my art as "#my art". If you only want my art stuff, I have an alt that is solely for reblogging all my art. That is @bucket-of-crows

My rambling tag is "#crow rambles" half the time this is me yapping about my ocs, other half is me complaining about something lmao

I tag my ocs using "oc: *oc name*" as a way to organize stuff. I also use "worldstate: *worldstate name*" for dragon age worldstates, since I have a few. Any posts I make about my ocs/oc playthroughs is tagged "#my ocs"

While I don't tend to reblog sexual stuff, anything with excessive nudity is tagged as "#nsfw" just to be on the safe side

I tag all Dragon age: The Veilguard spoilers as "#dav spoilers" I will probably continue to tag this as spoilers for a while. I also tag anything critical of the game as "#dav critical" Anything critical of other dragon age games / bioware as a company is typically tagged "#bioware critical" or "#da critical"

About my ocs

Im gonna ramble about my ocs a bit, so I'll put this under a cut so this doesnt look too long lmao

I accidentally posted this instead of saving to my drafts so this section isn't done my bad

Aviae Surana

(she/her)

Aviae is my main dragon age origins oc, and I talk about her quite a bit. Shes specializes in spirit healing/arcane warrior/battle mage. Technically she also takes a little bit of levels into keeper, but I don't really consider it one of her canon class since I never use it with her like I do the others.

She romances Morrigan, and does the dark ritual with her. She puts Alistair on the throne due to her distrust of Anora. She feels guilty about it, but she would do it again in a heartbeat. Her closest friends from Origins are Zevran and Alistair, but she considers all of the people she traveled with dear friends. From the Awakening crew, Anders is practically family to her (they grew up in the Circle together, and shes always considered him like a brother), and Nathaniel becomes someone she ends up relying on. Her and Justice also get along very well, even if they butt heads on occasion.

For important decisions, she sided with the mages, made Bhelen king of Orzammar, made a truce between the Dalish and the werewolves, helped Redcliffe and saved Connor without Isolde dying. She kept Avernus alive (I'm still in the air about whether she allows him to continue his research), let the Architect live as well, and saved Amaranthine. Vigil's keep stood its ground with the upgrades she had provided it.

This is my girl! Sadly I don't have a better reference for her current canon outfit (she has an old outdated reference sheet though), so this will have to do.

In some of the older posts, I refer to her and Alistair as exes. Sadly, while this is a fascinating dynamic, it is not canon anymore. As much as I love Alistair, Aviae would not trust him enough to fall in love with him due to him having trained as a templar. Eventually they become close friends, but never more than that. She is part of my "Mage rights" Worldstate. I tag all of her posts as "oc: Aviae Surana"

Wolfe Amell

(he/him)

Lucio Hawke

(he/they) (probably) (its not like hes figured it out yet lmao)

Selene Adaar

(she/her)

Revari Mercar-Surana

(they/them)

Ena de Riva

(he/him)

Tyrian

(he/him)

Varamis

(she/her)

Other Ocs

Some ocs I either don't have a lot of content for, or dont post about enough to warrant me giving them their own section, so I'm going to put their tags down here. All posts about my ocs are tagged as "#my ocs". Some of these ocs may eventually get full sections if I get the motivation for it

Athiman Mahariel (he/him) (Dragon Age)- Morrigan romancer who made the ultimate sacrifice. Tagged as "#oc: Athiman Mahariel"

Veloura Mahariel (she/her) (Dragon Age)- Leliana romancer who got Alistair to do the dark ritual. Tagged as "#oc: Veloura Mahariel"

Viara Hawke (she/her) (Dragon Age)- Merrill romancer who sided with the mages. Tagged as "#oc: Viara Hawke"

Yvette Hawke (she/her) (Dragon Age)- Isabela romancer who sided with the mages. Tagged as "#oc: Yvette Hawke"

Zel (he/him) (Dragon Age)- Part of Selene's mercenary group. Has an au where he's Inquisitor, but that one isn't canon. Dorian romance. Tagged as "#oc: zel adaar"

Vashoth (she/her) (Dragon Age)- Part of Selene's mercenary group. Tagged as "#oc: vashoth"

Solmummer Adaar (she/her) (Dragon Age)- Josephine romancer. Tagged as "#oc: Solmummer Adaar"

Tyrian (he/him) (Pathfinder WOTR)- Tiefling, Daeran romancer, Lawful good turned Neutral good. Mystic path went from Angel to Legend path. I do actually have a lot of posts about him I just don't feel like writing a blurb about him <//3 I do adore him though. Tagged as "#oc: tyrian"

Uvara (she/her) (Pathfinder WOTR)- Dhampir, Arueshalae romancer, Chaotic Good, Azata. Tagged as "#oc: uvara"

Watcher Nyxtra (she/her) (Pillars of Eternity)- Pallegina romancer (the lack of a canon romance cannot stop me), tagged as "#oc: watcher nyxtra"

Arphae (she/her)

Grisvald (he/him)

Kaid (he/him)

Zayan (she/her)

[kartaylirnaak]

Might I be able to ask about Match the 212th ARC. Why the name? Do they like to match things? Or is it like matchstick and fire is their friend?

You most certainly can! I will very happily ramble on about him.

Match is my 212th ARC Trooper OC. He's a Sergeant and is in an ARC pair with Wooley, who is also an ARC in this AU. Match is quiet, reserved, and doesn't same much, if at all. There's a quiet, shuttered sadness to him and he can be a little intense sometimes. He cares and worries deeply but isn't always the best at expressing it. Match is an expert in wilderness survival, especially jungle survival, for Reasons (I put him through The Horrors). He's fairly lean and wiry for a clone and, when fighting, has a viciousness and brutality to him, along with a keen eye, sharp intelligence, and heightened situational awareness. But he wasn't always this way.

I have no idea where the name came from. It just sort of morphed out of thin air when I started coming up with him. Initially, I wasn't that keen on the name but it kind of stuck and now he's Match. I haven't come up with any in-universe reasoning behind his name yet but I have come up with plenty more backstory and information about him. I was organising my OC's in a spreadsheet to try and keep track of all of them and decided to open a new doc to collate my thoughts about Match. It wasn't going to be much, just a little more than what I could fit into a spreadsheet.

16k+ words later

I now have a lot more backstory and detail about Match and I'm still nowhere even close to finished. It also evolved from ramblings into actual chunks of fic. I'd love to be able to write a whole fic and more about him but that's be a mammoth undertaking that I'm not sure I'll ever manage. So now I have all these sections of fic about him that I wish I could share but there's no context to them so they don't make a great deal of sense in isolation.

Below the cut is the condensed version of Match's backstory, which is still over 2.2k words 😂 It's very rough so there's definitely some clunky writing in there.

I've also included a section of fic I wrote about Match's backstory, where I introduce a different OC, mention another, and the 212th's fandom CMO (Helix) also makes an appearance.

Match's backstory

Match starts off as a shiny in the 212th fairly early on in the war. He’s very loud, brash, cocky, arrogant and egotistical. Thinks he’s top shit and knows everything. He’s constantly getting disciplined and being dressed down by his CO’s for doing stupid shit that endangers his brothers, but it never seems to get through to him. During a battle, his squad is ambushed by droids and he and the commando droid he’s fighting are thrown off the path and down a cliff by an explosion. Match is badly injured but manages to survive and shoot the commando droid, who ended up wedged in a tree. He collapses and is then stunned and captured by Trandoshans, has his wounds perfunctorily treated while he’s out, and wakes up in a cage on a ship, dressed in civies, and with a bunch of other caged natborns. They’re all dumped out onto a beach near a jungle and then shot at, so Match and the natborns that survive all bolt for the jungle. (If this sounds like that episode from TCW, yes that’s where I pinched it from). Match then has to survive in the jungle all by himself while being hunted by the Trandoshans for sport. It’s brutal and terrifying and he has to do some truly fucked up things in order to survive. It’s a constant fight for survival, everything is life or death, and he’s constantly being hunted by the Trandoshans or creatures in the jungle. Match is forced to adapt in order to survive and stay alive. The experience changes him and he becomes quiet and withdrawn, not talking for days at a time. He’s completely alone and isolated and he knows he’s never going to be found. Match survives for over a year and a half in the jungle. He crafts his own weapons, armour, camouflage, supplies, gear, shelters, traps, and everything else he needs to survive. 

The jungle forges him into something new. 

Something different. 

Over a year and a half after Match was captured, he’s watching the latest batch of natborns be dumped out onto the beach and spots that one of them is different, likely a Jedi. They drop down silently in front of him a day later and as very little gets the drop on Match in the jungle these days, he nearly puts a knife and axe through them. Turns out the Jedi is the 212th’s padawan (Jedi OC), who joined the 212th after Match was captured. Something something “will of the Force”, picture a bunch of Commanders rolling their eyes at their General’s here. Bit clichéd but let's be real, it’s not as bad as some of the nonsense that happened in TCW. Anyway, Match now has a baby Jedi. Accidental ad’ika acquisition has been foisted upon him. He teaches them how to survive in the jungle and looks after them, fiercely protecting them against everything. The baby Jedi looks after Match, helping with jungle survival but also helping him slowly remember a little of what it’s like to be around others again. He has someone to talk to now and he relearns, in a way, how to talk again (rocks don’t talk back to you). He has to learn to deal with touch and human interaction again, for when they have to hand things to each other or help each other through the forest or huddle for warmth when the wind picks up and the storms rage and the temperature drops. This lasts for about a month to six weeks until they enact the padawans' plan to escape. There’s a bit of angst around that because Match knows he’ll never be found but the baby Jedi keeps going on about hope and plans, which is all just futile to Match. They have a bit of a fight about it but reconcile and then go and steal the transponder and some electronics from the next Trandoshan ship that arrives. The padawan gets a message out to the 212th, who turn up and rescue them. Match gets shot protecting the baby Jedi during the rescue and nearly dies. 

He wakes up in the medbay on the Negotiator, having had surgery and spent over a week in bacta. He’s survived but his body and mind are fucked. He could never find enough food in the jungle so he’s skin and bone for a clone. The results from all the tests the medics ran on him are all over the shop. He’s covered in scars, has a bunch of old injuries that didn’t heal properly, and picked up all kinds of mystery jungle diseases and parasites. Match is also deeply traumatised from everything he’s been through. The jungle never leaves him and it’s always there in his mind. He still thinks in terms of relating everything to the jungle and has to actively remind himself that he’s not there anymore. 

But the jungle is always there. 

Waiting. 

There aren’t many clones left who remember Match from before he was captured. When Cody visits him in the medbay, Match apologises for how he behaved before and asks to be punished, to which Cody’s response is ‘absolutely the fuck not’. While Match is deeply fucked up, he’s still functional, so he has a long recovery as he heals and gets back into shape. He’s never able to fully return to the baseline body mass of a CT and he stays wiry and lean for a clone. The jungle also shaped him into a brutal fighter. He’s now fast, ruthless, and lethal, easily capable of putting down most clones quick and hard, even while recovering. He struggles to adjust though, still stuck in the mindset of the jungle where everything is a fight for survival. There is no room for practice or training in the jungle. There is only life or death. It causes some problems initially but Match was put in Waxer’s platoon for a reason (he often gets the tough cases) and everyone tries to help him adjust as best they can.

Match has changed. The arrogant little shit of a shiny from before is gone. Replaced by a quiet, reserved, and watchful clone who doesn’t say a great deal and often falls back on protocol because he doesn’t know what to do in social situations anymore. He’s a highly effective and efficient trooper now but outside of that, he struggles with a multitude of issues, including hypervigilance, dissociation, overtraining, and nightmares. He’s also filled with an immense amount of shame and guilt at how he acted and behaved as a shiny before he was captured. Match doesn’t paint his armour for quite a while because he thinks he doesn’t deserve it. That is until Boil basically shoves a can of armour paint at him and makes him turn up to an armour painting session. 

Match ends up having to be an acting Sergeant in the field during a battle because two squads both lose half of their members and he’s the oldest left and he has four shocked and injured vod’ika staring up at him. So he cobbles them together, gets them through the battle, makes his report on what happened to Waxer, and then goes to make sure they’re all as ok as possible and looks after them. It’s only when they won’t leave him alone that he realises he’s accidentally acquired vod’ika. He ends up being promoted straight to Sergeant of his cobbled together squad because they worked quite well together and bonded as a group, plus Match performed well under fire. Match doesn’t think he deserves it because he just did what he always did in the jungle. Survived. But the vod’ika keep looking at him like he’s hung the stars and there is no way in hell he’s behaving like he used to, so he takes on the responsibility and teaches them what he knows. 

Cody’s been keeping an eye on all of this and has been conveniently dropping by with various other experienced clones when Match is doing his own training. Match can last the longest out of the standard CT’s when sparring with commanders, ARCs, or commanders, like Cody, Wooley or Gregor. This is how Match meets Wooley, who will end up being his future ARC partner, even if Match doesn’t know it yet. He likes Wooley and has a healthy respect for him and his skills, even if he does think he’s too bright and cheery and talks too much. 

You can’t talk in the jungle. 

They’ll hear you. 

Match ends up having to be an acting Lieutenant during a later campaign when Waxer is injured and Match is the only Sergeant left because the rest are gone or too badly injured. At the time, Match does what he has to do. During a campaign or battle, the same mindset from the jungle returns. He does what he has to do to survive, just now it’s mixed with doing what he has to in order to keep as many other clones alive as well. Match has now somehow acquired more vod’ika but he absolutely does not want to be a Lieutenant. He still doesn’t think he deserves to be a Sergeant, let alone a Lieutenant. There isn’t a space for him to be promoted to anyway once Waxer recovers. Cody has been keeping an eye on all of this and decides now is the time to send Match to ARC training. Match has a massive internal crisis about this because he thinks he definitely does not deserve the honour of even being considered for ARC training, let alone being an actual ARC. Cody puts Match through his own preparation training for ARC training so Match spends his evenings being thrown around the mats by the Commander and Wooley, learning as much as he can, and getting to know both Cody and Wooley better. He still doesn’t think he deserves to be in this position but he doesn’t talk about it because that would involve Talking To People. Rocks never talked to him in the jungle. Both Cody and Wooley clock this and try to get through to Match that he does deserve this. Match still doesn’t entirely believe it but he can understand their more rational arguments that he now has the skills, ability, and potential to be an ARC. 

Seventeen is inspecting all of the ARC candidates who are lined up in the training room at the start of this round of ARC training. He stops in front of Match, who internally is freaking the fuck out, but outwardly does not even fucking blink. Match is very good at staying completely still now, especially in the presence of a threat. The jungle beat that lesson into him. Seventeen just looks at him before stating, “You saved the little Commander” (referring to the 212th’s padawan). Match, who is looking straight ahead with a dead stare, having reverted back to survival coping mechanisms that he developed to survive on the island, answers with an automatic “Yes, Sir.” Seventeen gives him a look, grunts, gives Match the tiniest of nods, and moves on, which for Seventeen is high praise. All the other ARC candidates in this round of ARC training are internally freaking out and wondering who the hell this vod is that already has Seventeen’s approval. Match just wants to be left alone and avoid any kind of attention and make it through ARC training. 

Match tops almost all of the categories in this round of ARC training and is top 3 or 5 in the rest. He sets a new record in jungle survival and is equal second of all time in wilderness survival. His main competition during training is a vod named Jesse from the 501st, who is far too friendly (idk what the timelines are doing at this point so we’re just rolling with it). At least the giant Republic cog tattooed on his head would help him camouflage in the jungle a little. 

The jungle is always there. 

Waiting. 

Match lasts the longest in their final no holds barred hand to hand spar assessment against Seventeen and is one of the few that doesn’t technically lose because the Alpha Medic supervising the spars (which are basically just fights) calls an end to it because Match refuses to stop. He must survive. Match joins Jesse and another vod in the medbay later who also had their fights stopped before they were turned into paste. Jesse was quite pleased with himself, even as he bemoaned the reception he was going to get from someone called Kix, who is apparently going to kick his ass even worse. The other vod is completely out cold. Match paints his kama in a camo pattern similar to the camo pattern on the ARFs armour in the 212th, with only the barest hint of gold paint lightly brushed through it. It’ll help blend into dappled light. The rest of his armour might be too damn bright but at least some of his legs will be camouflaged.  

Match and Wooley work as an ARC pair as part of the 212th and Ghost Company. They go where they’re needed and complement each other well. They’re also both part of the specialised squad that accompanies the 212th’s padawan on missions. There’s a pool of troopers in Ghost Company with various specialisations that are drawn on depending on the needs of the mission. This will pretty much always involve Match and Wooley because wherever their padawan goes, they go. The General has the Commander and their padawan has at least one ARC. They’re all very serious about keeping their jetii alive, Match especially so about keeping the baby Jedi alive. That’s been with him ever since the jungle and will never leave. 

Just like the jungle. 

It is always there. 

—

Section of fic about Match Context: This is after Match has been rescued and is recovering in the medbay of the Negotiator.

Waking is easier this time. 

Match comes to a slow awareness of his surroundings. The white walls and bright lights and beeping machines are still there. The mask on his face is gone, replaced by tubes that fill his nose and do not feel welcome at all. Match think’s he’d prefer the mask back. He gingerly shifts his jaw and it immediately cracks, making his eye twitch and drawing out a pained grunt. His side twinges at the noise but the slicing pain from before doesn’t return. He carefully shifts slightly and is relieved to find that it doesn’t feel like he’s being stabbed again. Instead, there’s a deep penetrating ache in his shoulder, thigh, and ribs. The rest of his body feels like one big bruise. Deciding to risk a little more movement, Match turns his head to the side to confirm that, yes, there are machines next to him. There’s also the door along with a wall with a window that gives a view out into what looks like a larger medbay.

Why is he in a room by himself?

Turning his head to the other side reveals more machines, cupboards, and a chair for some reason. Match is pondering the existence of the chair when a vod with eye searingly bright blue hair and a splash of patterns on the side of his face pokes his head around the door.

“Eeeyyyyy, he’s awake!”

Yes?

The vod hollers out to the medbay at large with a string of words and letters that make absolutely no sense to Match and then bounces over to him.

“How you doin’ bud? I’m Fluid, but everyone calls me Flu because they all think they’re sooooooo funny giving a medic the name of something we can’t catch. Fancy heightened genetically engineered immune systems and all that.”

This vod is far too loud, in every sense of the word.

“But you managed to pick up some very interesting mystery jungle flu down there. That produced some wild results in the battery of tests we had to run, let me tell you.”

The jungle gave Match a lot of things. 

It took away even more.

The vod keeps nattering away as he looks at a datapad and does things with the machines and rifles around in the cupboards like he’s trying to make every noise imaginable.

“So on a scale of being ripped apart by our friendly neighbourhood Force wielding Sith gremlin, to being thrown around the mats by the Commander for his sadistic pleasure, to stubbing your toe on that little lip of the door on the last training room that really shouldn’t be there because everything’s supposed to be standardised, what’s our pain like today?

What the fuck is a Sith gremlin?

“Are we gonna have to use numbers? Numbers are so boring. Utterly useless too, seeing as they don’t accurately convey pain and, despite us all being clones and all, we definitely process pain differently. But you try telling the longnecks that and just watch them get all pissy. That’s a recipe for being recon’d at the very least so let's keep that between you and me, pal.”

The loud, blue haired vod is looking at him expectantly so Match guesses this is where he’s supposed to respond.

“What’s a—”

His voice gives out, cracking into a rough croak and a hacking cough that makes his ribs really fucking hurt.

“Oop, one sec, here ya go, that should help.”

The straw from a hydro pack is brandished in his face and Match sucks down his first gulp of water that hasn’t come from somewhere dubious in the jungle.

It tastes plastic.

“Alrighty, howzat then? Bit better, yeah?”

“Thanks,” Match manages to croak out. Fuck, his voice sounds and feels rough. Flu seems to be of the same opinion and decides to make it known.

“Damn vod, that is some heavy gravel you’ve been garglin’. Don’t worry ‘bout talking too much at the moment, your voice is in about the same state as the rest of you, which is to say, pretty damn beat up.”

This vod has said more words in the past few minutes than Match has said in over a year and a half. 

Repeatedly honed instincts mean Match doesn’t miss the movement across the window and his eyes track a familiar clone as they hand a datapad off to another medic and then walk through the door. 

This is someone he remembers from before. And someone who remembers him.

“Flu, stop terrorising him.”

“Now, Sir, would I ever do something like that?” Flu answers, clutching at his chest and somehow managing to be even more dramatic. 

A deeply unimpressed look is all Flu gets in return.

Match would be more confused at whatever is going on but right now he’s more occupied with looking at Helix in trepidation. He can’t run from a threat. Isn’t even sure how well he can move, and there’s only one way out of this room.

“Go be a menace elsewhere.”

“But at least I’m your favourite menace,” Flu replies, as he cheerfully slaps the datapad against Helix’s chest.

“No, that’s Pinch.”

A scandalised gasp.

“Wounded. Deeply wounded, Sir. So deeply and fatally wounded. I am in the death throes and seeing the light.”

“No dying in my medbay.”

Flu leaves with an exuberant “Yessir” flung over his shoulder as the door closes on his exit and finally brings about some peace and quiet.

[danggirlronpa]

Hiii. First off, I'm so sorry if this is annoying, but I. Have a lot of Nanamiki thoughts and thought you might like them? I was talking with a friend about them (he hasn't played danganronpa so he doesn't really know them but he was still super nice and listened to me ramble) and I realized that you may be interested in what I had to say about them?

First off, I think nanamiki is a lot more complex than what a lot of people make it out to be, in my opinion. She ship was first popularized by the optional scene in SDR2 where Chiaki and Mikan play video games together. It's a very cute scene, and I urge anyone who hasn't seen it to look it up, because it makes it clear that Mikan and Chiaki are friends, or at least have the potential to be friends, and the relationship is very positive and sweet on Chiaki's side. Nanamiki as a pairing got very popular in the komahina fandom back before DR3 came out (I can only really attest for about a year before DR3 came out, but this was very much the vibe I got) as a pairing to get Chiaki out of the way of komahina. Back before DR3, I saw a lot of double date fics with the two couples, and a lot of Komahina fics where they were a side pairing. They were, for the most part, regulated to "lesbian best friends of komahina", which, nowadays, ever since DR3, has seemed to be replaced with Soniaki and sometimes Tsumioda instead. Now, I like Soniaki, and I don't have anything against people who ship Tsumioda (even if it's not personally my cup of tea), but as a Nanamiki lover, I have noticed a fandom shift to favoring these ships just from my own observations. Which, good for people who like those ships! I just can't help but look back longingly on the Era where nanamiki was the standard wlw ship - even if that Era was rife with issues.

Even back then, you would be hard pressed to find any work that explored Nanamiki in depth that wasn't a one shot - and most if those one shots were plotless or near plotless fluff. This, to some degree, makes sense. Nanamiki's origin *was* plotless fluff - it was Chiaki showing Mikan a fun game and teaching her how to play. That's what the whole scene was, and that scene is the ships origin point. On works that did focus on nanamiki in depth, there was an emphasis on Chiaki comforting Mikan, which also makes sense, as that scene was Chiaki reaching out and being nice to Mikan. When I was young/a teenager, I also wrote fics similar- with Chiaki reaching out to Mikan, and helping her overcome her trauma.

However, now that I'm older, I look back on what a lot of these fics were (including my own), and I find myself somewhat discontent with the state of them. I feel a lot of these works fall into woobifying Mikan, and having Chiaki putting all the work and effort into "fixing" Mikan and her life. Oftentimes, there's no discussion about Chiaki's wants or needs, and those go unaddressed. It doesn't feel balanced, like a give and take dynamic, but instead like Chiaki is putting so much into the relationship and getting none of her needs met. A lot of times, there's not even fleshed out reasons why Chiaki would be dating Mikan - what she gets out of it, not just what she provides. Now, arguably, this is because most stories involving them are one shots - there just isn't time to explore both of them in depth, and its only a snapshot of their relationship. But even with that, there is an overabundance of Chiaki taking care of Mikan with oftentimes little to no indication that she does the same. I think this is partially because a lot of people are primed to see relationships as "what can this person do for me?" and not "what can we do for each other?" A lot of times, the dynamics aren't mutual and balanced. To be fair, life is messy in real life - sometimes one person is going to be putting in more work than the other one at the moment, but usually that is a temporary situation—and when they can, they reciprocate later. Relationships have their ups and downs. But I can't help but wish that we saw a more balanced dynamic between the two in fics, at least the fluffy ones.

But while I do acknowledge that the ship has fluffy origins, I am desperate for non-fluffy content. I think only having fluffy stuff does a disservice to the relationship - especially for Mikan. Mikan, in my opinion, is a very messy, traumatized person, and I don't like how a lot of people candy coat this in an attempt to write really fluffy relationship stuff (not just aimed at nanamiki works). Her trauma wouldn't just go away after getting in a relationship, and a relationship wouldn't just fix all her problems, either. Reducing her down to "crybaby who just needs love" misses the point of her character - while it's true she needs support, she can't just survive on one person, one relationship alone. She needs a support system, not (just) a girlfriend. In my opinion, Mikan would be a disaster in a relationship - and not just in a cute, insecure, shy way. Mikan has a lot of feelings and she feels them very violently, including love - she gets obsessive, is a chronic people pleaser, and threatens to break Hajime's legs in her island mode. Her whole motive for being a nurse is because she likes the power it gives her over her patients. This characterization, that she's a poor little baby who did nothing wrong and just needs real love to heal her, is a disservice to her character.

I want to see Mikan being complicated. I want to see her having maladaptive and unhealthy coping mechanisms. I want her to be messy. That's what I love about her character- that she is a deeply, truly traumatized person who is sometimes awful and sometimes a wreck of a person, but despite that, she's a victim. Despite that, she deserve to heal - or maybe because of that. Mikan is very much informed by her trauma, in a very unhealthy way, but she is still, ultimately, a person who needed help and didn't get it. She is a person society failed.

She didn't just need a lover. She needed a support system, she needed people to constantly stand up for her, constantly love her, support her—she needed people to not hurt her in the first place.

Sorry, I got pretty passionate about that. My point is, I wish there was more complicated Nanamiki - Nanamiki that addresses Chiaki's needs, Nanamiki that addresses Mikan's dark sides, Nanamiki that is complicated and messy.

I think, too, that DR3 (while having a lot of things I didn't like) had a compelling idea for Nanamiki (if I'm remembering right). Before Mikan pushes Chiaki into the hallway Chisa finds her, if I'm remembering right, Mikan talks about how everyone loves and admires Chiaki... and to me, she sounds jealous. Now that. That is interesting to me. I find that SO compelling - the idea that Mikan sees herself in Chiaki, and it infuriates her, because everyone loves and adores Chiaki and she feels like no one feels the same for her. Now, I have extrapolated a lot of feelings on Mikan's side from that short interaction, and maybe that's not the intent of canon, but honestly? I really like what I've extrapolated. With that in mind, there's even more you could headcanon about Mikan and Chiaki and their state of their relationship during the despair arc: Chiaki acts like she loves Mikan, but Mikan can't believe that, how could someone so loved like Chiaki love her? Maybe she even wants to test that love, test the limits of it, behave badly or hurt her to prove to herself that Chiaki never *really* loved her in the first place, that her "forgiveness" was fragile. (Think similar to the dynamic of dogbird by maddy, I guess?) Maybe she's jealous, so bitterly jealous, that people love Chiaki and no one loves her. Maybe she's secretly angry that Chiaki can get along with Hiyoko so well when she bullies her, and she's angry at herself for being angry, because isn't what Hiyoko does to her what she deserves? And yet Chiaki says she doesn't deserve that, yet at the same time is friends with someone who treats her like that... she's confused and hurt and internalizing all of it. I could go on.

I think, in DR3, it was a real missed opportunity to have the remnants turn on Chiaki slowly instead of being brainwashed. In a hypothetical AU, instead of being brainwashed, Junko turns them against her, or calls to question her love, makes them doubt her - and maybe that's not enough to get them to turn on her fully, but when she proposes a "test" of her hope in the form of a murder maze, they agree (Nagito first because he's all about testing hope and has faith in Chiaki, Mikan second because of her devotion to Junko—or reverse order, I'm not picky—and then everyone else reluctantly following). That isn't canon by any means, but it's the AU I tend to go with when I keep human Chiaki in my fanfic.

In that situation, Mikan becomes like a Judas figure. Actually, lower one's eyes (specifically trickles cover) portrays what I imagine Mikan would feel perfectly. Another song that really fits Nanamiki (imo) is lacy by Olivia Rodrigo. It talks about jealousy over and attraction to a girl you think is so perfect, which I think fits Mikan's side of this perfectly.

Even without the AU I made up, I think DR3 adds a layer of tragicness to nanamiki I don't see explored a lot! Which is sad. I mean, getting brainwashed to send your girlfriend to her death is prime angst potential. I would love even that to be explored (despite how I'm usually not a big fan of the brainwashing video in general). I want more angsty, doomed nanamiki. Even now, most stories are one shots focusing fluff, or ones where they woobify Mikan, or ones where the dynamic is unbalanced between Mikan and Chiaki, and in those fanfics, they hardly ever explore Chiaki. Which is so sad to me. All the multichapter fics I've seen only have nanamiki as a side pairing, too. I love Nanamiki (it might be my favorite DR f/f pairing ever!) and I would love for people to explore more sides of it!

Sorry for the long ask. I just have So Many Nanamiki thoughts.

As someone who wasn't around the fandom in 2013-era, this is SUCH an interesting read. It aligns with a lot of what I've rediscovered searching through for old art, especially searching for Nanamiki works.

I don't really have anything to add, which I hope is okay - this is just really cool on its own, and I don't have anything to add to it other than "YEAH!! YEAH"

[a-caterpillars-world]

So. I finished Homestuck.

Reading Homestuck in 2024, over a decade since it started, was definitely an experience. There was a lot that i was spoiled for, but a lot that took me by surprise, even though "spoilers" are just about everywhere. I'm glad I was able to go in blind, there's a lot that wouldn't have felt nearly as impactful had i known about it beforehand. I'm not great at just directionless rambling, so I'll organize it in the form of an FAQ of a sort, under a read more since I'm expecting this to be a longer post.

Did you enjoy yourself?

Honestly, yes. I know Homestuck has a kind of negative reputation, and now that I've finished I can certainly see where it comes from, but even considering all of that I can't say I had a bad time. I think Homestuck has a lot to love, even if there's also a lot to hate. Personally I think there's several elements and characters of Homestuck that deserve a better rep, there was a lot I read that was very funny or very narratively compelling even through all the obvious flaws. I had a good time, I don't regret picking up Homestuck.

Do you plan to read anything else related to Homestuck (eg Homestuck 2)?

Maybe! I'm not entirely sure how much I'm missing out on, or how much the various side stories impact the main canon. If one of them seems particularly interesting to me, I'll look into it, but right now I'm good. I'm not even entirely sure how deep the Homestuck rabbit hole goes, though I suppose I could look it up and find out for myself.

Do you have any favorites/what do you think about [character]?

This is a hard question to answer, as Homestuck is a series with a loooot of characters to talk about. If you want to know a more in-depth opinion on your favorites, send me an ask! I love conversation and even since I started my liveblog I've been open to asks being sent in even if we've never spoken. Maybe I'll make a tierlist to organize my favorites, that could be fun.

Should I read Homestuck?

It depends. Homestuck can be a very good and interesting story at times, but a lot of what makes it a great story is hidden behind layers of questionable-at-best humor and casual ableism. I think if you can approach it as it is and understand the flaws inherent to it, it's definitely worth at least checking out. And then if it isn't for you, then it isn't for you, but it did end up being for me so take it as you will. Even if you're just looking at it as a part of internet and webcomic history, I think it's not a waste of time to give it a read. Via the downloadable archive though, not the browser version. Homestuck suffered greatly from the death of Flash, so it's best to read on a version that can better support all the unique elements it utilized without much risk of it crapping out on you (like it did to me, in several key points including the finale.) I also recommend reading with a friend, preferably one who's read Homestuck before so you can talk about things as they come up naturally.

Final thoughts

Homestuck is a fascinating piece of internet history. It's a near-perfect capture of the humor and culture of the late 2000s and early 2010s, largely dependent on a web service that is now entirely defunct. Were it not for the actions of archivists and fans, it's entirely likely we could've lost massive chunks of an incredible piece of webcomic and fandom history. It certainly isn't for everyone, its flaws have been talked about with regularity by essayists and internet historians with the whole spectrum of opinions on it. Even with its flaws, though, it still puts together a quite lovely story, with several compelling characters and scenes that grab your attention and hold it tight. Not only do I not regret reading it, but I completely understand how Homestuck created such a storm of a fandom especially when it was being actively updated. I'm glad I read it, in the end. It brought me a lot of joy in the best moments, and even at the times when I was most frustrated with the story I can't say there was ever a point where it was too much for me. Thank you to everyone who stopped by to check on the liveblog, whether you're one of my friends or a stranger checking in from the Homestuck fandom. It has certainly been an interesting ride, and I'm glad that I got to take it, even if I am in fact several years late to the party. Until next time, everyone!

[melodic-haze]

Lisa mentioned!!! I don't know much about the issue with her being flirty with the traveler and honestly, it sounds like people are nitpicking for something to complain about, but she's so cool!!

it sucks that the only thing people notice about Lisa are her looks (very pretty though) and flirtatious behavior when there's so much more to her! Not only is she the best Akademiya student they've had in the last 200 years, but she's also ridiculously strong. Varka wanted to make her a Captain right after Lisa joined, and it's stated that they would've been much stronger if she accepted that offer. Lisa has some of the coolest lore too and for some reason, no one talks about it??? She isn't even taking things seriously and she's already at this level of strength. She knew that she'd go crazy if she went down the path of pursuing knowledge no matter the cost, and a determined Lisa is NOT something that Teyvat would survive

For the other two that I definitely also agree with, I apologize if I get any of the lore wrong since I haven't done much of the Inazuma quests other than the main story (which was a while ago), but Kokomi, man!! Everyone was so hyped up when she first made her entrance, but then she suddenly just disappeared? In my opinion, the quest would've been cooler and had better lore if we spent more time with Kokomi than that Taipei (?) guy. No one talks about this either, but her ability to lead people is super impressive! Everyone doubted Kokomi when she first became the Divine Priestess since she was just a kid, but she proved them all wrong. Now, everyone trusts her and looks to her for help. Kokomi's skill as a leader is insane, and I really wish they did more with her lore 😭

Miko, man... No one talks about her unless it's to debate whether she's gay or manipulative!! She's only mentioned when people are talking about Eimiko and it sucks so much how seemingly no one sees how selfless and loyal she is. Miko was alone for 500 years!! I'm sure she had friends, but even those would only hurt her eventually since they would've passed away as well. The one person who experienced the same things, the one person who understood her, and the one person who she probably thought wouldn't abandon her like the others left her in her time of need without even saying goodbye. But Miko still waited! Even if she knew that there was a chance she'd never see Ei again, she was loyal enough to wait despite that. Miko gave up the very thing that gave Ei the authority of an archon without hesitation just for someone who had a chance to save Ei, the traveler. This is just my opinion, but I think Miko only really helped the people of Inazuma as much as she did as her way of preserving the eternity that her friend sacrificed so much for. She's so so kind and beautiful and loyal and selfless!! Whether you ship Eimiko or not, it's undeniable how Miko was such a good friend to Ei despite Ei not exactly reciprocating the same efforts.

Wow that is a lot of text. I am so sorry HAHAHAH 😭 There's no need to reply to this ask, I just saw you mention those three and wanted to ramble a bit hsjsh

Ik it's been a WHILE since this was talked about but I just wanted to 😊😊😊 put this out here BC YOU UNDERSTAND ME❗️❗️❗️ YOU UNDERSTAND ME SO HARD

DON'T WORRY ABOUT WRITING A LOT BTW FEEL FREE TO YAP ALL YOU WANT HERE HAHAHAHA I'M DOING THE SAME ANYWAY I just. Really love this specific trio :( I'm gonna cut this though cuz LOOOOONG ASS HELLL)LLL

Maybe I've just been on the wrong side of the fandom for long enough that I've seen complaints about Lisa and how she interacts with the Traveller ig (mostly due to the whole 'Traveller is a minor!!!!!' debate which......no energy is worth that age-old debate I'm ngl). SHE HAS SUCH INSANE BACKGROUND and so much of her is worth exploring????? Like I REALLY want them to go back to Mond and fully explore characters like her and Kaeya bc of how much they've got going on. While they're pretty, sure, there's so much more of interest beyond looks like it's actually WILD that Lisa has this much power despite her not visibly having some sort of indication she's blessed or has anything secret going on beyond her EXTREME capabilities

Not to mention tbh she seems like she'd be nice to have a nice nap with I'm gonna be real and put that out there 🤷‍♀️

IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE LORE DW IDK JACK SHIT PAST INAZUMA AHAHAHAHAH but omg??? No yeah they SHOULD have put her and Teppei under the spotlight for a bit more. I get they wanted to show Teppei and his easy closeness with the Traveller, but I do feel like seeing a genuine connection between a leader and her citizen, a strategist and her soldier, until the very end would have been so???? Like it shows how both sides are important to the other bc they're acc quite dependent, it'd show off a LOT more depth between them. BONUS if, like I've said before, Kokomi had a hidden sort of grey morality and/or she KNEW about the Delusions but turned a blind eye for the sake of winning. It would've put Watatsumi AND her character AND Teppei's in such a conflicting yet important light, showing how Inazuma' sinner conflict's actually fucking things up everywhere beyond just "lol haha foreign intervention bc funny lmao". Would Kokomi get bad rep? Maybe, but at least then people won't just disregard her as some one-bit chr that appeared in a fit of bubbles and did nothing else

You're ABSOLUTELY right in saying that she had her own selfish-sounding goal of keeping Inazuma basically upfloat. I'm not going to pretend that this woman's selfless as hell and would do anything and everything for her country cuz she won't unless Ei or a close friend (whom most, if not all, have died long ago) told her to. I saw an Eimiko poll in twt at one point where it was like "would Miko choose Inazuma or Ei" and NEAR EVERYONE chose Ei. On B side majority agreed that Ei would be the complete opposite which. Is REALLY sad but MY POINT IS!!! She chooses to live by her instincts, to base her decisions and devotions to what she knows and what she adores bc she had No Choice but to basically grow up like that. With that in mind, she could have EASILY shirked her responsibilities and went on to live with amusement as the Only focus she has, but instead she actually chooses to devote herself to the role her best friend relied on her for. She is so??? Absolutely devoted and beautiful in the soul I love her so bad and she's such a lonely being :(((((((( I NEED TO KISS HER I LOVE YOU MIKO

I just. I really want and need them to be talked about more man :( they deserve so much attention compared to whatever they're getting rn 😞

[flowersforbucky]

Do you have any general advice for someone who wants to post their writing but is scared to? I write a lot. But I have never posted on tumblr or anywhere else. I don't know why but I'm so nervous to.

had to add a keep reading link because i ended up rambling way more than i originally intended to 😅 sorry if this isn't helpful or isn't the kind of answer you were looking for but here's a summary of my experience with writing/posting on tumblr and some general tips -

i completely understand being nervous. i feel nervous every time i post my writing. i'm always worried that people won't like it, that it'll flop, etc. when i first tried posting bucky fanfiction about 5 years ago, and when i posted eddie munson fanfiction a couple years ago, just about everything i posted performed really poorly. i had a couple pieces that did alright but for the most part, just about everything flopped. and it was very discouraging, i would let it get to me too much for sure - i'd wonder how other people got their work to get so many notes so easily when nothing i did seemed to help.

so when i started writing/posting for bucky again a few months ago i was really nervous, since i hadn't had much luck in the past. i decided to give it a shot anyway, and told myself that i'm doing this for fun, and if people like what i put out then great, and if not then i wouldn't let it get to me because at the end of the day i'm doing this for myself, because i want to.

everything i've posted for bucky the last few months has surpassed my expectations, truthfully. i don't really know why all of my one-shots have performed so much better this time around than when i first tried to write for him back in 2019 - maybe my writing has improved? maybe i'm just getting lucky and posting at the right times? maybe it's the fact that i write more smut than i used to and the fandom seems to love that? maybe a little bit of all of those things? i'm not 100% sure, but i'm happy to give you some tips that i think work for me, at least.

also disclaimer i definitely don't think i've been doing this long enough or am a "big enough" writer within this community to even be giving advice LMAO but since you asked!!

i usually post on wednesday or friday evenings and i've had good interaction on both of those days, however fridays have been the best and i think i will be sticking to friday evening posts for the most part in the future

i usually post between 7:00 - 10:00 pm eastern time, most often around 9:00 pm - if the time you post doesn't seem to work well, try a different time with the next post

tags tags tags! add the most relevant tags first, and avoid adding tags that are irrelevant. so when i post for bucky i add tags such as the following: bucky barnes x reader, bucky x reader, bucky barnes, bucky barnes x you, bucky barnes smut, etc

write a brief summary for the piece that will draw people in but not give tooooo much away. also always give appropriate warnings

use the "keep reading" feature. to be completely honest, if someone posts something that's 500+ words and they don't use the keep reading feature, i'm instantly going to get annoyed that it's clogging up the feed and scroll past it lol. i personally like to insert the "keep reading" link a couple paragraphs into my fic so that people can read the first tiny bit of it and (hopefully) be interested enough to click the link and keep reading.

don't be afraid to reach out to other writers in your fandom and initiate friendships. i know this can be super intimidating because they usually already have mutuals that they are close with but what's the worst that can happen with trying? most people here love making new friends/mutuals and want to be supportive of new writers, though i know it doesn't always feel like that. not everyone that i've followed/interacted with has followed me back but a lot have!

tease snippets of upcoming fics before posting them (and make sure to add a bunch of tags so more people see) to help people get excited, draw in new followers, etc. pick a few lines of dialogue, or a specific paragraph or whatever, that you're particularly proud of and screenshot/copy & paste it and post it and basically say hey here's a snippet of an upcoming fic! i don't always do this but i like to on occasion

lastly, and this piece of advice won't necessarily help your writing perform well notes wise, but i think it's important to remember: write and post what YOU want to write and post. this is a hobby, this is supposed to be fun, and you are not getting paid for this. if you don't want to write smut, DON'T write it just because it's popular and you feel like you have to. if you don't want to write reader inserts and prefer OCs, then write an OC. if you prefer writing one-shots and drabbles over multi-part series, then write one-shots and drabbles! of course readers are going to have their preferences and that's fine, i have my preferences when it comes to reading fanfiction as well, but it's not your job to appeal to every reader out there. it's your job to enjoy this hobby as much as you can and write things that you're proud of.

[bluegekk0]

For that little ask thingamajig about the assumptions I wanted to put down that I always did noticed and a assume that you put a little bit of self-projection in some of your characters ever since I discovered the blog from the start a while back.

It’s no bad thing at all mind you, it adds a deeper connection with ones characters but that’s something I kinda picked up on.

Yea this is something I did mention at certain points in the past. Vyrm especially is a character I project a lot onto. I think it started back when the AU was still just an idea, I loved the Pale King as a character but I thought a lot of fandom mischaracterized him, so even back then I knew I wanted to make my own AU interpretation to hopefully separate it from the fanon. And as I thought of his arc, especially his backstory, I found myself giving him a lot of my own traits. It made him more relatable to me, and as a result I was able to come up with his story and personality without much trouble, as it came natural. As it turned out, many of those traits were those associated with the autism spectrum, so that also made me do a lot of self-reflection and ultimately suspect I might be autistic as well. Over time the distance between my AU version and his canon counterpart increased to the point I view them as two very different characters, and that is largely because of all the self-projection. Do I regret it? Not at all. I'm convinced that if I attempted to make him very different from myself, the AU wouldn't last even a few months. It does have a slight side effect (which applies to Grimm as well) in that I'm particularly sensitive about seeing interpretations I heavily disagree with, so I tend to stay in my own sandbox instead.

Grimm, funnily enough, wasn't actually part of the AU in its first iteration. I did already imagine him and my version of PK being in love back then (albeit it was very different to what I ended up with), but I thought it would be a bit too self-indulgent to include their relationship as, arguably, the main force of the AU. I'm very glad I changed my mind in the end and included that aspect, as writing them as a "slow-burn friends to lovers" couple allowed me to give both him and Vyrm a lot more depth than they would have otherwise. Romance isn't a genre I'm particularly crazy about (and being aromantic, I can't say I have any experience with romance either), but it was a lot of fun to develop them from this angle, while still making them interesting characters by themselves, and I have no regrets about that.

When it comes to self-projection, I think Grimm's love for Vyrm is part of that, I absolutely love Vyrm so naturally I had to write his husband as completely infatuated by him as well. But it doesn't end there, for instance, Grimm's fear of losing his loved ones and the general view of mortality is something I resonate with deeply. And while this does apply to Vyrm as well, the aspect of Grimm hiding behind a mask and pretending to be someone he might not be definitely has some elements of my own struggles, especially in regards to gender identity and dysphoria, though this is in concept only and not an actual element of his character (he's very comfortable with his male identity, which I suppose could be connected to me being a masculine leaning enby)

There are some small aspects of self-projection in other characters. Hornet's explosive personality does mirror some of my own traits I'm not proud of, and I think it allowed me to do a lot of self-reflection in return. And Holly's interest in art is definitely a result of me loving the process and wanting to have a character who does as well, though aside from that we are very different.

The ramble ended up longer than I anticipated, so apologies for the wall of text. But yeah, you were absolutely right in your assumption, this AU was built with self-projection (and old man yaoi) as its foundation. I'm very happy that it did, and I hope it also makes those characters more relatable to others.