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python333 · 1 year ago

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déjà vu — python333

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synopsis you and ghost are more similar than the two of you realized.

relationships platonic!ghost & gn!reader.

characters ghost.

word count 2.88k

warnings 2nd person pov [you/yours/yourself], usage of c/n [call sign/code name], ghost's backstory [yes that is a warning within itself], kind of badly written.

note holy shitttttt i'm so sorry i haven't posted in two months. to everyone who is disappointed this isn't a req they submitted—i am very sorry but i have like. no motivation. please take this small fic as a peace offering after being silent for two months. also yes i said alej fic but i only had motivation to write for ghost LMAO

“So…” Ghost can hear Price next to him, creating an echo as he speaks through his earpiece, “Doesn’t it get hot, always wearing that mask?”

“Not when it’s made of the right materials,” Your voice crackles through, the wind blowing by slightly distorting your voice, “It’s also winter, captain, so no, it doesn’t get hot.”

The corners of Ghost’s lips twitch upwards when you answer, but he otherwise doesn’t say or do anything, simply leaning against the wall parallel to Price. For you, maybe your mask doesn’t get hot, but his certainly does—though, he doesn’t voice that, simply listening.

“Oh really?” Price hums, looking around the corner of the wall he’s leaned up against, spotting a few enemy soldiers walking by without a clue of who they’re in the presence of, “What’s yours made of, then?”

“Polyester,” You answer.

From what Ghost understands, you wear a mask for the same reason as him—anonymity. As much as he can respect that and understand the want to remain anonymous, he can’t help but wonder why you would want that. Is it for reasons similar to why he wears his? Have you gone through things similar to what he’s gone through? Did a fellow SAS soldier also murder your entire family and attempt to pin it on you, to which you responded by killing him, stealing his dog tags, and burning your own house down? He had many questions, but didn’t ask any.

He doesn’t think you’d answer them, anyway. He certainly wouldn’t. He’d maybe try to divert the conversation with a bad dad joke, or simply not dignify the question with a response, anything but an actual answer. He strangely expects the same of you.

He vaguely remembers a conversation he had with Price when you first joined maybe two months ago, specifically a comment Price had made about your file; “I had the same conversation with Laswell about their file that I did when I first got yours. She said the same thing when she saw their file, too, word for word.”

It turned out that they had the exact same exchange that they did when they saw Ghost’s file, verbatim. Laswell had pointed out that you had no picture, and Price said, “Never.” Ever since then, Ghost has felt an inexplicable connection to you, despite not having talked to you that much.

He’ll admit, he tried to initiate a conversation with you more often than he did with the others when he first met them. Maybe one or two times a day, he’d find you and make small talk, something that made his skin crawl with discomfort but something he still forced himself to do, just to try and make sense of the invisible line that seemed to tie you both together.

This small talk started off as anything from a question about the weather—yes, Ghost asked about the weather, unfortunately for the both of you considering how awkward and stilted that short conversation was—to asking about training and skills. He didn’t normally initiate conversations with anyone else, he was typically the one that was walked up to and barely even had to carry any conversations he was in.

Every conversation the two of you had always ended the same way, though; with you cutting it short the moment it got anywhere near your personal life, or even just your life outside of being a part of the 141, and walking off elsewhere. Ghost could see the tiniest bit of himself in you everytime you did that, and an annoying voice in the back of his mind always asked, Was I always that much of a hardass? … Am I that much of a hardass?

“Ghost,” Price’s voice snaps Ghost out of his train of thought and he grunts, looking over at Price. The man in question nods his head towards the now clear path to the building they needed to get into, and Ghost nodded back, taking his SMG out of the sling and moving out of the small alleyway they’d camped in, following after Price.

They quickly rush over to the building, the doors thankfully unlocked and the soldiers guarding it stupid enough to not be right beside the front doors, and lock the doors behind them once they’re in.

“Are you guys in?” You ask, the wind no longer distorting your voice, the background of your audio now relatively silent except for your faint breathing.

“Yeah,” Price replies, the darkness of the building making him squint as he scans the walls for some sort of light switch, “Anyone notice we got in?”

“Not that I can see, no,” You answer, your sigh audible through the comms, “They’re pretty far from the building, actually.”

“Perfect,” Price hums, patting his hand along the wall for a moment before finding a large lever. He hesitates to pull it, and ultimately decides against it, deeming it too risky. Instead, he searches his tactical vest and goes through a few large pockets that sit around his lower midriff before finding a relatively small flashlight.

He presses the button on the end of the handle with a small click, and the flashlight flickers for a moment before the light becomes consistent and a small buzz begins to sound. Price looks around for a second, scanning the area for any immediate threats, and motions for Ghost to follow him.

“See anything?” You ask curiously, some rustling heard on your end. Ghost looks around for a second, footsteps echoing eerily through the building.

“Nothing important,” He replies, voice quiet, “Just dust and old furniture.”

“His office is just down there,” Price interjects, nodding towards the hall to their left, making Ghost look in that same direction, “I’ll head down there, you stay here, let me know if anyone’s coming.”

The echo from Price talking to Ghost both through comms and being right beside him, as well as the echo from being in such a large room, starts to irritate Ghost. He rolls his shoulders and puts his gun back in the sling, looking back at Price.

“Turn off your comms,” His suggestion sounds more like a command, but he’s sure Price understands it’s more of a request than anything else, “You’re echoing. If anything happens, I can just talk to you without them.”

Price pauses before nodding, and pressing the small button on his earpiece to turn off his mic, and the piece entirely. He trusts Ghost wholeheartedly, and it shows. He takes one last look around before walking towards the office he pointed out.

The office belonged to the man who had stolen vital intel from the 141—not intelligence on the task force itself, but rather a separate team that had recently allied themselves with the task force. They couldn’t risk that data being taken, as it would not only expose the other team, but several other similar teams and task forces.

Ghost waits until Price is actually in the hall before speaking again, “You still there, [c/n]?”

“Yeah,” You answer almost immediately, “Need something?”

“No,” Ghost hums, leaning against the wall behind him, “Just wanted to talk.”

“Please don’t ask me about the weather again,” You sigh, almost exasperated, “Or about how my training is going, or about how my CO is, or—”

“I’m not,” Ghost interrupts you, not sure whether to laugh or cry at your examples of past conversations.

“Promise?”

“Promise,” He says, before asking, “How long were you apart of the army, before joining here?”

“Before the 141?” You pause, thinking for a moment, “Sounds kind of personal.”

“You don’t have to answer,” Ghost offers, voice almost reassuring, “Just curious.”

“Aren’t you always,” You mutter, a comment Ghost promptly ignores, before you properly answer, “Just a year. Maybe a year and a half.”

“American army, right?”

“Mhm,” You hum, “Would you believe me if I said we sang Yankee Doodle before going on any missions?”

“Oh, sure I would,” Ghost chuckles, before countering, “Would you believe me if I said that song was made to mock Americans?”

“I’m not sure if I should be offended that you believe that,” You say, a lighter lilt to your voice as you do compared to a few moments ago, “But yes, I believe you. I think that almost every American has reclaimed it as one of the most patriotic songs, though.”

“Almost every American?” Ghost questions, growing more amused as the conversation goes on. It confuses him, making him wonder why he’s so easily drawn into conversations with you, no matter how small or dry.

“I’m sure there’s some here and there that don’t like it,” You elaborate, “But I haven’t met any. Not yet.”

“Alright,” Ghost nods even though you can’t see him, before asking another question, “What branch?”

“The Navy,” You answer, now without questioning Ghost which brings him a strange sense of relief, “I flew planes around and stuff. Didn’t really like it, though.”

“Oh yeah?” Ghost sounds more interested now, “Why not?”

“The soldiers there aren’t the best people to be around,” You hum, the sounds of you moving audible, “One mention of any sort of mental issues, even if it’s just something like feeling anxious or being sleep deprived, and suddenly everyone’s on your ass pressuring you to be better or just… being weird about it. It gets draining after a while.”

“I bet,” Ghost murmurs, “Is that why you left?”

“Partially,” You answer honestly, “Half of it was that, the other half was that I just didn’t like flying planes. I was also eighteen and couldn’t really control my impulsive thoughts, so a majority of the time I was fighting myself trying not to crash the plane on purpose.”

“Makes sense,” Ghost considers what you said for a moment, before his eyebrows furrowed in confusion and he asks, “Isn’t the enlistment age for the Navy nineteen?”

“It is,” You assure him, “I was an exception, ‘cause I was a month or two away from turning nineteen.”

“Hm,” Ghost hums, “And you’re twenty now?”

“Twenty, almost twenty-one,” You confirm.

“Did you wear the mask back then?” Ghost asks, praying that the question isn’t too personal to the point where you stop responding. He’s been dying to ask the question, always worrying whether or not it was too personal—it was pretty personal, to be fair, but he wasn’t used to worrying this much over another soldier, much less one he only met two months ago. Sure, you both wore a mask and remained somewhat anonymous, but that didn’t mean you two were automatically best friends who braided each other’s hair.

“...” You don’t respond for a moment, making Ghost’s worry increase, before you reply, “No.”

Your simple answer makes Ghost more curious, and he can’t tell if he should ask why or not. He stays silent for a few seconds, weighing his options, before he ultimately says, “Alright.”

He tries to leave it up to you whether or not you want to tell him about your own story, of if you’re comfortable with that, which you probably aren’t, considering that—again—the two of you only met a couple months ago.

“Did you wear the mask?” You ask quietly a moment later, catching Ghost off-guard, “Before this?”

“Before the 141?” He echoes your question from earlier, nodding to himself, “Yeah. For some time before this, I had a different mask, but it was still a mask.”

“Was the skull always there?”

“Mhm.”

“… For just aesthetic purposes, or?” Ghost feels the corners of his lips tug up in amusement at your question, and at how genuinely curious you sound.

“Eh. Not really,” He answers, taking a deep breath in and out through his nose. He doesn’t say any more than that, not being able to as his mind takes him back to a time a while ago, when he was being held hostage and was in the same room as some kids who heard him spill his entire background to the men holding him hostage.

He remembers one kid in particular, a little girl with blonde hair, who had listened to every detail that he’d said. When he was telling the story of why he has the call sign Ghost, in hopes of distracting the men so that the 141 could rescue him and the kids, she had clung to every detail and later asked him if what he had said was true, her tone of voice eerily similar to yours.

He remembers when he was carrying her out of that room, the questions she’d bombarded him with, and how he answered every one with as neutral of an answer he could muster. He debates doing that now with any questions you ask, but decides against it almost instantly—something that shocks him, even though it was his own thought—considering that he wanted to ask you those same questions. Not about your call sign, only about the mask.

“It’s a long story,” He says after you’ve been silent for a while, your curiosity somehow palpable even through just the comms, “But it has to do with some family members.”

“Yeah?” You hum, “I know a thing or two about that.”

“Do you?” Ghost asks, slightly ashamed at the small jolt of excitement he feels at the opportunity of hearing more about you.

“Mhm,” You pause, staying quiet for a moment, before continuing, “About family members. Dead ones.”

“Ah,” Ghost nods, the discomfort he originally felt sharing some of his own story starting to melt away, “Dead ones. I understand.”

“Can’t tell if I should be glad or not,” You snort, “Like, I’m glad you understand, but also sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Ghost grins under his mask, “I was wondering the same thing.”

“So… dead ones,” You think out loud, before asking, “That’s why you have that call sign and mask?”

“Yeah,” Ghost looks around for a moment, reminding himself to keep watch while talking to you, before cautiously asking, “Are yours the reason for your mask?”

“Not really,” You answer honestly, with a little less resistance behind your answer to Ghost’s relief, “Well… I mean, kind of. But they’re not the reason-reason. I didn’t really like them, so I’m not gonna give them all the credit, but I’ll give them… maybe twenty-five percent of it.”

“A quarter’s still a lot,” Ghost points out, “What’d they do to earn that?”

“They died, and…” You’re doing more pausing and hesitating now, making Ghost wonder if he’s going to personal every second that you stay quiet, before you finally answer in a more guarded tone, “I almost got blamed for it. Almost.”

Ghost gets hit with a pang of mixed emotions, like a weird sort of uncomfortable nostalgia. They almost got blamed for it. He lets out a breath that’s slightly shaky, and thinks for a moment before saying, “Almost?”

“Almost,” You confirm, tone a little less guarded, presumably at Ghost’s more calm reaction, “Then I handled it the best I could, and the guy who killed them got what he deserved.”

“Which was?” Ghost feels more of that uncomfortable nostalgia bubble up, giving him an uneasy feeling in his gut, as if he knows where this conversation is going.

“Death,” You answer softly, “And the nameplate on his uniform stolen, which I replaced with mine. I would’ve taken his dog tags, but we didn’t really wear them on missions ‘cause our drill sergeant didn’t care too much.”

Ghost can put a name to the feeling now. Déjà vu. He takes a deep breath and considers your words for a moment.

“And the body?” His lips move before he can think.

“Burnt.” You answer simply, “The whole house. It was mainly drywall, so it took a moment to actually completely catch on fire, but it was quick enough. It also smelled disgusting.”

“Yeah, I bet,” Ghost swallows, vividly remembering the smell of his own house, before continuing, “He was a soldier for the Navy, too?”

“Mhm. He was… a Private, I think,” You reply, “I wasn’t too close with him. I wasn’t with anyone.”

“And so the reason you wear the mask is…?”

“I didn’t really exist anymore after that,” You hum, “At least, not to them. I was dead in a burned down house, my own house, and was far gone. I like wearing the mask; it keeps me as just another soldier, not as the person who died in that house.”

“But you didn’t,” Ghost points out, trying to ignore the eerie feeling that only grows stronger the more you talk, “You’re here.”

“… Yeah, I am,” You say after a moment of thinking, smile evident in your voice, “Doesn’t mean I can take that back, though. ‘s not the best feeling, doing something like that.”

“Trust me, I know,” Ghost chuckles, “If anyone here, I’d be the person to know, kid.”

“Really?” You ask, voice more curious like it was before, “Why’s that?”

“I’ve… weirdly been through almost everything you said,” Ghost admits, “Word for word with the house burning down, actually.”

“… Huh,” You huff out a small laugh before saying, “I’m wondering if I should feel happy or sad again.”

“Me too, again,” Ghost smiles, eyes flickering up at Price’s footsteps sound through the hallway, his silhouette slowly coming into view, “One last question.”

“Shoot.”

“How’s the weather?”

“I’m not answering that, fuck you.”

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etoileee · 5 months ago

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I never thought I'd actually find another Percy Jackson shifter this is so cool🫶

Anyway as someone who's tried actually shifting only a couple of times I feel like one of the major things that's holding me back is the thought of not scripting enough? Like I'm scared that if my backstory doesn't have enough details or if I don't script my actual part in each and every prophecy I just won't know what to do once I shift😭. Have you ever felt like that? If yes do you have any advice?

I get what you mean 1000% because I genuinely enjoy scripting, to the point of considering it a hobby lmao

but I think you’re struggling to know that you really don’t need to script, you could shift without one entirely even. people script because it’s fun, or they feel like they need to or don’t know they don’t have to.

I’ll try to explain this the best I can PLEASE STAY WITH ME HERE

you subconsciously already know what YOU want from your dr, so scripting every little thing truly isn’t necessary, and if you don’t know what to do once you do shift that is completely fine! please remember that your dr is just as real as your cr. your dr won’t disappear into nothingness if you’re in a scenario that you didn’t script.

like you don’t script every little thing about your cr and you’re still living life, why do it to your dr?

again, its okay if you don’t know what to do in a certain situation in your dr, it will still play out completely. the only things I would for sure script would be things that have to do with safety but other than that don’t feel the need to script too much into detail!

I do enjoy scripting yes but honestly I don’t think I go into too much detail, and as someone that doesn’t script every little thing I can reassure you that honestly I think it’s a little bit fun that way 😭 I have scripted that I forget that i’ve shifted, and that I forget about my cr, that plus having all your dr memories makes it seem like you really are from that universe and I think that’s one of the best things I could’ve done shifting wise!

(obviously your dr self IS from that universe but that’s just the best way i could put it into words)

when I shift I like to make it realistic (it will feel realistic either way tho don’t worry!) but I like to feel the same way I do here if that makes sense, for example I don’t know what I’m gonna eat tomorrow for lunch so why would I script that in my dr? I don’t know how I’m gonna meet my future potential lover so why would I script that? basically what I’m saying is I like my drs to feel like my cr in the way that I can’t control every little thing, I like it playing out on it’s own, I like the surprise of it!

not to say that you can’t script things like scenarios that you want to happen, you should 100% do that if you wish but you don’t have to go so detailed with it. you can just script something like ‘my godly parent will claim me my first day at camp’ or ‘me and percy will have our first kiss underwater’ and that will be enough I promise!

basically what I’m saying is you really don’t need to script every little thing, you know subconsciously what you want, and that’s more than enough :P

maybe I could do a script tour of mine, or I can make a specific percy jackson dr script template on notion and share it with you all if you think that would be helpful!

#percy jackson #pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #heros of olympus #pjo fandom #percy jackson fandom #reality shifting #shifting motivation #percy jackson x reader

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fennecfiree · 7 months ago

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Why do I see so many people hating on chubby Kyle and saying it doesn’t make any sense? They say, “He's fatphobic! He makes fun of Cartman for being fat! He can't be chubby!” But then they go on and headcanon Stan as being chubby, even though there's more proof of Kyle being chubbier when he's a kid than Stan. (I'm aware post-COVID Stan is chubby, but I'm talking about the kids.)

The same people who tell me my headcanon makes zero sense and that I “made it out of nowhere” (which I didn't—even if I did, why does that matter?) say chubby Stan is so canon, and it makes sense. When your excuse is “Kyle makes fun of Cartman for being fat!”—uhm, Stan does too? What the hell. Can you just let me headcanon something without trying to find something wrong with it? If you don’t like my headcanon, leave me alone. It’s my comfort headcanon. It makes me happy.

“Kyle's probably really buff, though, because he plays basketball.” Stan plays baseball? But you use all this stuff to prove me wrong. Let people have fun. And yes, I do have proof for Kyle being chubby. If you can’t let me have fun with a headcanon, leave me alone and block me. Here’s my PERSONAL proof for MYSELF (you dont have to agree, this is shit that makes it more real to me), so you all can stop saying I made it up from nothing.

And no, i dont headcanon Kyle as taller, then that would mean his height would be why he weighs almost as much as Kyle. I hc him as short.

Btw, this isn't hate for the chubby Stan headcanon. I would feel the same way if someone was being an asshole to people for headcanoning that. I'm just pissed about this. Just let people have fun. wtf. i only hate a hc if it's stereotyping, just weird, or some shit like that.

i just think ppl should stop attacking ppl for harmless headcanons in general.

I am aware that being weak and non-athletic is a stereotype, but I don't portray him like that in my AU. I don't make him weak or unable to defend himself. I understand he's strong, but I just don't make him the strongest in the class. I feel like he's the third strongest. He's not weak at all, and he is athletic. I headcanon him as a jock.

"Well, then how is he chubby?" Chubby people can be strong and athletic. I don't have any negative intentions behind this.

I like adding my personal insecurities onto characters.

There's actual evidence to support this headcanon.

If you don't like it, just leave me alone and block me. It's my comfort hc, and I'm really attached to it. Don't harass me for a headcanon.

Also, why do people think that when I say 'twink Kyle,' I mean the regular Canon Kyle? What the fuck… I'm referring to him being sexualized and people making him into A TWINK. LMAO and making him not able to defend himself.

I swear to God, if you don't like it, leave me alone. Don't harass me over a fucking headcanon. That's really weird. I'm 13, just go away. I'm seriously considering leaving Tumblr because you guys can't handle a fucking headcanon. i don't want to be in fucking drama OVER MY HEADCANON.

#kolbies random thoughts #sorry it just makes no sense and im pissed about it #just leave me alone #i hate this fandom #dont be afraid to block me if u dont like my hc #south park #southpark #sp #south park fandom #rant #fandom rant #ill post this when im not a pussy lol

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thestobingirlie · 2 years ago

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Somewhat tangentially related to that other ask but I wish fandom would just acknowledge that Eddie is also bully in his own right and just because he's antagonist towards jocks doesn't mean they deserve it by virtue of being jocks (no matter how much fandom likes to pretend it's warranted because Eddie is bullied himself- this is nowhere near canon and I'd go so far as to say it goes against canon if we're basing it off of Eddie's own behavior) and beyond all that; like the other asker and yourself said Eddie isn't just antagonizing jocks! He openly scorns band kids, geeks and pretty much everyone that isn't his specific brand of nerd which is not about academics so much as nerdy interest like fantasy and "non-conformist" music.

I put that in quotations because Eddie is actually probably the one that buys into the whole high school hierarchy spiel more than any other character on the show; by setting himself up as such an anti-establishment non conformist (all within the high school setting mind you we see nothing to make me believe his ideals go beyond that setting and it makes sense to me considering he's a Peter Pan archetype stuck in a state of arrested development- but I digress) because he sets himself up in such a way that his entire persona is built off of the abject refusal to adhere to societal expectations he's by and large helping to perpetuate them. He's cosplaying this attitude more than living by it because the societal norms still very much dictate how he views himself and how he approaches others.

Ironically Steve is the real deal in this regard by shucking what others expect from him and living his own life the way he wants it divorced from the excepted norms he used to let dictate him as late as mid s3 while changing the things he didn't like about himself behaviorally while still retaining his core personality and interests without the need to revise himself fully.

But because he doesn't have an alt style or interests that go against the mainstream, fandom refuses to see him in this light. He also doesn't let his new friends change his own interests nor expect them to change theirs for him.

I guess this rant makes me sound like I don't like Eddie but I do! I think fandom Eddie is entirely separate from canon Eddie however, to the point where his only recognizable qualities are his interests and aesthetic. Fandom really seems to martyr him in that regard and fully drink his kool-aid which is hilarious because it's largely performative with no substance lmao (even the "woe is me hunt the freak huh 🥺" falls flat narratively when a whole ass dead girl was found in his home).

I think the duplicitous nature of his personality and his hypocrisy (while still fully being a good guy! If you ignore the whole uh selling hard core drugs to a 17/18 year old girl who clearly never did them before thing) I think it's this dual nature and slightly shady actions while still having a caring heart and good intentions is what makes him a good character and we don't get to see that hardly ever with the way a laaaarge portion of fandom worships at his freak alter.

god, beautifully written. i agree with every single point. honestly, you anons just know how to word exactly what i’m feeling.

yes! eddie pretends like he rejects societal ideals, but he just reinforces them to the next generation. he’s built his life on being the freak, he plays it up to get attention, and to rile up his classmates. i honestly think eddie won’t know who he is post high school. which is, like you said, ironically the way the fandom tries to portray steve. but we see that he’s much more secure in himself and his life than eddie. does he have everything figured out? of course not, he’s 18!! but he knows a hell of a lot more than eddie.

but because he isn’t a nerdy outcast, the fandom would have us believe that he actually hates his life and who he is, and secretly doesn’t want to be a jock. fanon steve is honestly way more like canon eddie than i think the fandom wants to admit.

(and yeah, chrissy is found dead in his home. people aren’t just witch hunting eddie for no reason lmao)

all this is what makes canon eddie an actual interesting character!!! and the fact he (and steve) are entirely stripped of these characteristics is one of the reasons that i just can’t vibe with the fandoms rendition of steddie.

#steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #stranger things #asks #anon

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bunitivity · 1 year ago

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Straw hats cooking headcanons:

- nami can’t cook for shit. Takeout and dash and dine kind of gal. Back in the day she used to sneak into kitchen restaurants and pretend to be a waiter to make off with the food plate and all. Later learns the bare basics but only cooks under duress re: wci incident(firmly believe the food was just ok at best and they were only raving about it so much because they nearly starved lol so anything would have looked divine in that moment)

- Robin makes the most horrendous combination of shit that being on the run for twenty years will teach you. It’s not cooking in any sense of the word. She loves it but no one else can stomach it. (oh she used to know how to cook but due to trauma and a lack of access to real food for so long she just forgets) Sanji offers to teach her and she just shakes her head and thanks him and walks away

- Brook can make one meal and one meal only. He couldn’t cook before he met the straw hats but he falls in love with one of Sanjis signature dishes and MOST learn how to make it under any circumstances. Please it’s his dying wish Sanji(even though he’s already dead yohoho!) Sanji is more than happy to teach him everything there’s to know. Very happy to take Brook under his wing. As soon as he masters the one meal and makes Sanji weep with the sheer perfection of it he gives him a deep bow, thanks him for teaching him and says he’ll always be grateful for everything but Sanji-san doesn’t need to indulge him any longer he’s learned everything he needed to know and just fkn quits(Sanji gets so mad at him for wasting his talents and not developing his culinary skills lmao Brook could be SO good but he just don’t wanna)

- Chopper is honestly the only who would know how to cook prior to joining apart from Sanji. Kureha strikes me as the kind of woman who could cook but would rather make you cook if you know what I mean so Chopper definitely did most of the cooking. Also considering how his master was so good at alchemy he definitely knows his way around the kitchen. Taught Chopper everything he knows. He’s pretty good at it. No one on the crew knows because he just didn’t think to mention it

- Zoro can’t cook. Never tried never will

- Luffy still firmly believes he can despite everything that happened and what everyone keeps telling him. They’re just haters. He will show them (cue nami and usopp descending on him and tying him up before Sanji kills him for daring to ruin his kitchen and they wind up without a captain)

- Franky can’t but will. It looks deceptively decent😟(he’ll get better tho but not before almost killing the crew at least once(he gets luffy more than once luffy just won’t stop eating it and proclaims he knew he would get better once Franky finally learns how to cook and no one rightfully believes him))

- Usopp cannot. Lived lavishly through Kaya before joining the crew. Will learn a thing or two while helping out Sanji but nothing substantial. Just useless things like how to make the perfect glaze. Nothing that would actually help him if he had to survive on his own

- Jimbei can make fishman food really well and so everyone has very really high expectations for him when he tries to make some food for the crew. He tries to transfer his fishman food skills to human food the results are disastrous. It’s so bad that no one trusts him with human food after that much to his dismay(even luffy forsakes which is how you know he fucked up) everyone enjoys his fishman food tho so at least he has that. He tries to learn to make up for it(curse his perfectionist heart) and just can’t

Knows how to: nami, chopper, franky, sanji

Do not: usopp, robin, luffy, zoro

Kinda knows: brook, jimbei

Does anyone ever cook except for sanji? No why would they?

#straw hats #one piece #one piece headcanons #one piece usopp #usopp #roronoa zoro #chopper #nami #vinsmoke sanji #sanji #nico robin #one piece franky #one piece brook #tony tony chopper #jimbei #one piece jimbei #if any of this is contradicted by canon no it didn’t

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whateven333 · 11 months ago

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What you prefer bonnie going dark with kai or kai being redeemed for bonnie?

I think, and forgive me, I feel like I’m always picking answers that are kind of in-between (I’m a “little” bit of an indecisive person lmao) but I like when they’re sort of a mix of both.

What I mean by that is like for Bonnie’s character, -I think she’s not as “good” as the show tries to convince us, and don’t get me wrong I think this is a positive because it makes for a more interesting/ complex character, -well it would have if the writers actually acknowledged it and did something with it, instead they kept her boxed away as some sort of “saint-like” figure (with none of the respect) but I think they did that in order to keep her away from any of the fun action in the show that the other leading ladies were allowed to be apart of, -like getting romantically/ sexually involved with villains, being careless/ misusing her powers for selfish reasons (like how the vamps in the show got to be reckless/ indulgent with their powers) without consequences, going to parties/ balls whatever and just being there to look pretty in a dress and have fun etc. and I think the writers liked to describe her like she’s “too good” as an excuse to leave her out of storylines that would allow more development for her character and to neglect writing for her character unless they needed to use her as a plot device.

But even though Bonnie is selfless etc, she’s still done plenty of morally questionable things in order to protect her friends (who are mostly killers) so the “too good” thing the writer’s tried to pin on her is pretty stupid and an obvious ploy to keep her away from being a part of more interesting storylines.

So because of that I think although Bonnie is kind of a mostly ‘good’ character, she’s also at least a little bit morally grey? As well as a little dark at times (considering her expression arc, -we know she’ll go to great extremes to do what she believes needs to be done).

Though with Kai I do think he brings out more of that darkness in her and that’s really fun (this concept has been explored in a lot of fantastic BK fanfics and I LOVE IT).

And with Kai, I think that he doesn’t need to be redeemed and actually I think this applies to other characters as well, -like should they even be redeemed ? Do we need to ? I think it’s perfectly fine for darker/ morally grey characters to exist without any sort of redemption arc. I’ve enjoyed redemption arcs before so I’m not against them or anything but I think on TVD it’s been done a lot (though I wouldn’t say they’ve done it well,- also TVD focussed on the ‘her lOvE redeemed him’ trope which I’m not really a fan of, I think it can be one of the reasons a character is redeemed but not the sole reason).

I liked that Post-merge Kai still seemed to have kept his pre-merge traits. I would have hated if they turned him into some sort of strangely good version of Luke, -even though some people insist that’s what he was post-merge and that’s why he was apologising to Bonnie, although that doesn’t make sense since the merge is not supposed to erase him- Kai’s meant to just be himself but with emotions now and Luke really did not have any serious connections to Bonnie to make him care that much about her.

One of the things I like about BK is the intense way they affected each other even when they didn’t want to be affected, even when they tried to act indifferent to the other it was obvious how they were still influenced by each other.

The type of redemption arcs that TVD focussed on had one person changing because of / for the other person. I think with BK they would change each other, both for the better and worse tbh, and that would be so delicious to watch -some of Bonnie’s good bleeding into Kai’s bad and vice versa.

And it would be an unwilling change for the both of them that they would probably try to fight tooth and nail, but regardless of what they want, their mutual obsession would inevitably lead them there.

So all that to say... I'd prefer them to mutually destroy each others perceptions of their own self-concepts and egos 💖

And I mean if that isn't ✨️True Romance✨️ then what is 💕

Thanks so much for the ask ! this was interesting to think about, I tried to answer this earlier but I couldn’t decide which I preferred and ended up kinda in the middle after all anyways… 😭

#bonkai #bonnie bennett #kai parker #ask

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mxmoonjelly17 · 7 months ago

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PEARLJELLY RAMBLE!!!!

oops all insanity - sponsored by me :]

I believe that Frilled Jellyfish Cookie and White Pearl Cookie is unrequited feelings yuri. The one with the unrequited feelings being Frilled Jelly. It feels like out of all the gem mermaids, Frilled Jellyfish cares about White Pearl the most. If she had her memories, i’m sure she would have insisted on finding a way to talk to Black Pearl despite the dangers. Not only that, but her extra dialogue (for when you unlock her as a playable character and she’s able to wander around your kingdom/you’re able to view her stats, etc.) White Pearl Cookie often. (I think crimson only mentions her specifically like ONCE lmaoo) Ik using this as evidence for lore might be not the best but it must hold some weight considering devsis will drop information like Butter Roll Cookie being a student of the darkness school place thing in the form of an interaction with Espresso Cookie. Which they wouldn’t add for no reason. Anyways examples of Frilled Jellyfish Cookie mentioning White Pearl that are relevant here are; (important stuff is in italics, with notes sprinkled in)

“My job is to keep White Pearl Cookie beautiful as always.” (She thinks shes pretty 😭)

“I’ll never forget the day I met White Pearl Cookie!” (She says this like it was the best day of her life and yk what good for her honestly she needs a win)

“Almighty Sea is behind all fateful encounters!”

“The Sea guided me to my lady. T’was Fate!” (this and the two previous lines of dialogue mentioned HAVE to be connected in some way im sorry yall)

“Doesn’t the rippling moonlight remind you of a shiny pearl?” (I feel like this could be connected to Seamoon in a way. With Frilled Jellyfish taking the role of Moonlight Cookie, someone White Pearl yearns for even though she’s ‘gone’ [gone as in dead but not really] and can’t reach her iff that makes sense)

“Dear jellyfish, do you got any stories for White Pearl Cookie?” (Goes out of her way to make White Pearl Cookie happy)

“White Pearl Cookie is who I serve!” (the way this line is delivered makes her sound so proud of this fact)

“White Pearl Cookie is the most lovely gem mermaid there is!” (GUYS COME ON???? THERES NO WAY SHE ISNTINLOVEAUFIGUSHGS IUOH)

Anyways, as shown, Frilled Jellyfish cookie talks about White Pearl a lot. Moreso than Sea Fairy Cookie references Moonlight Cookie which is saying something considering what she does in A Mermaid’s Tale LMAO. Another example of Frilled Jellyfish Cookie showing how much she cares about White Pearl is being on her deathbed and deciding to tell White Pearl how happy she made her (I liked the life of following the currents aimlessly, but only having met you down here made me truly happy.”) and comforts her as she nearly dies. Also there’s “Soon i’ll get back up as if nothing happened. To be with you.” like???? Cmon ya’ll. Then, post near-death, even after losing her memories, forgetting her name. There’s still a small part of her that somewhat remembers White Pearl, or at the very least recalls that there’s someone important she’s missing.

So yeah, Frilled Jellyfish Cookie is in love with White Pearl Cookie. No cap.

As for White Pearl? I think she doesn’t have any feelings for Frilled Jellyfish Cookie beyond platonic at the moment. But if she were to hypothetically, get a redemption arc then maybe, just maybe. She’d begin to fall for the jelly. If Black Pearl and Frilled Jellyfish cookie reunited then it’d be an arc of Black Pearl learning to be vulnerable, accept love, and push past her probable trust issues and love again. Also get over yk, losing her pearl. With Frilled Jellyfish cookie, having accidentally stumbled upon her (still without her memories, though she may have recovered some because of the gem mermaids.), and slowly recovering her full memory while falling in love with the Lady of the Black Sea all over again. They both fall for eachother basically and it’s great and omfg i need to write a FIC.

As a bonus, here’s some headcanons.

WP and FJ would swim through the sea currents together for fun. Very relaxing.

FJ is older than WP by like a year I think. To me they both seem to be in a similar age range but FJ seems slightly more mature. Though not on the same level as Crimson Coral who’s probably in her 30-40’s(?) she seems old.

If my redemption arc idea happens it’d be FJ who’d find Black Pearls’ pearl somehow and then try to return it to her <3 it’s like a proposal.

I think WP would have taken FJ to the surface once or twice, though FJ was too hesitant to stay for too long. Even if she loves her lady.

The two will go out together and WP will listen to FJ tell her stories, the two have a secret designated spot for it that nobody knows about.

I have more but like. This post is long enough.

This is my ramble!!! Sorry for this CRK Tumblr i couldn’t resist. Oh yeah their shipname is Pearljelly and I love them.

#cookie run kingdom #white pearl cookie #black pearl cookie #frilled jellyfish cookie #I'm so sorry for this #cookie run #ramblings

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anendoandfriendo · 11 months ago

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So, we have a LOT of gripes with this post but more just want to address then individually without giving the OP any harassment so:

These first and second paragraphs is fine honestly, we won't tell people how they should feel about their own experiences.

The problem starts at the next part where OP starts trying to tell people how they should feel about their own brain.

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Also we just REALLY need to get this out of the way woth no other comments —

"We don't label [implied word is diagnose] personality types"

LMAO try saying that to uhhhh — *checks notes* — people with PERSONALITY DISORDERS.

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People who generally live life functionally but who every now and then are reminded that they’re disabled and need help in very specific situations. Like somebody who doesn’t struggle much socially and who doesn’t need supports at school or work but who sometimes doesn’t have as much energy for doing the dishes because they’re exhausted from living as an autistic person in an allistic world.

Did you know that therapists require a diagnosis to see literally anyone, ever? At least in the United States?

By your logic the neurotypical idea that "nobody is normal" actually exists. Why is someone who goes to a therapist and is forced to get like, let's just say a depression diagnosis for the ease of thos conversation. Why are they allowed to get that diagnosis, do the therapy, then consider themselves completely neurotypical but an autistic person isn't allowed to do that?

Please make that make sense.

And if you didn't realize everyone who's ever gone to a therapist loses their neurotypical card and is lying to you (using YOUR OWN LOGIC these people would be lying/faking neurotypicality) then don't worry about that! We didn't know that either until this year.

Anyways, that leaves us two options: either everyone is disabled or these people are allowed to choose their neurotypes in spite of the system labeling them otherwise. We sincerely hope why you realize the former is more shitty and we do not have to explain to you even bodily autonomy you don't like is still an inalienable right.

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So if you’re like me, please don’t speak over higher support needs people. Recognise that, if you can generally live independently, you are lower support needs than a LOT of others.

Is this about the assholes who went "waaah!! Don't call yourselves nonverbal!!! You share the same brainbody!!!" yes and as a plural system, we are still DIFFERENT PEOPLE. SOME OF US ARE NONVERBAL AND CANNOT SPEAK WHEN FRONTING WITHOUT ADDITIONAL ASSISTANCE FROM ANOTHER HEADMATE. SOME OF US HAVE TO BODY DOIBLE EACH OTHER JUST TO GET THE DISHES DONE YOU DESCRIBED IN THIS POST.

YES WE DO STILL HOLD A JOB TAKIMG PHONE CALLS. BECAUSE THE VARIETY OF AUTISTICS IN OUR HEAD MAKES. IT. SO. WE. ARE. COLLECTIVELY. NON-DISORDERED.

We may be endogenic, but we would still not, in any way, survive the world as a singlet. We are low support needs on a fucking technicality because they confirmed us as an autistic person when the brainody was two!!!

Just because you do not benefit from a purely social model of disability doesn't mean there are autistics who straight up wouldn't have issues anymore if people just..accepted them and society in general was less shitty.

The ONLY!! WAY!!! We have seen this kind of statement be used is to gatekeep people like us who try to describe their experiences of plurmisia and its intersectionality with ableism.

We are a non-disordered autistic collectively with specific members in our system who ARE in fact disordered autistics. The only reason we don't have people who describe themselves as neurotypicals in this system is very specifically because they do indeed feel a change in them when they arrive here.

Yes! We are a lot lower in support needs! To the point we do not consider ourselves such! Because of our multiplicity. Not because our autism "isn't that bad" or anything like that.

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TLDR:

Stop fucking telling people how to feel about their own experiences.

If youre trying to gatekeep what we think you are trying ro gatekeep, you're an asshole and need to stop. Maybe we are just lucky, who knows, but we have NEVER seen this kind of sentiment occur in a way that does not have an undercurrent of plurmisia and/or other ableism.

You can in fact be a nondisordered diagnosed person. It happens all of the time, otherwise therapists as an institution couldn't exist lmao.

Additionally, as far as we are concerned, there are, in fact, situations you can be simultaneously non-disordered and disordered.

How about you follow the advice you said to everyone else, and not tell no-support and low-support autistics how to feel about their experiences? You're a fucking hypocrite OP!

Someone or somesys with more experience analyzing this kind of thing from a mad pride lens and/or a bodily autonomy lens is absolutely free to add onto this but we're just. Tired. And also kinda we have to be at work in likeeee 10 to 20 minutes.

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monstersinthecosmos · 11 months ago

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please make longform sheith posts on tumblr 😭😭😭 (if you so wish ofc)

hjaklgd I hung onto this ask because I was waiting for the right time to talk about Sheith and I got such an insightful comment on my fic Tonight the Stars Revolt! that I decided I wanted to talk a little meta about the thought process that goes into this fic and so here you are and it's time to utilize this invitation !!!!!!!!!!!!

The comment from DocYo5 as follows:

It feels like reality, the feelings and thoughts Keith has, fitting for someone who had to grow up without close relationships, with Shiro being closest to a family member before he left for Kerberos. Understandable that he's able to open up to him, because he trusts him and somehow understandable that they can have sex together without hard feelings... At least from Keith's point of view. We can only guess how Shiro feels about this, probably more than he lets out. For me it's surprising to have sex with someone repeatedly without considering to love him, to announce it as weird to like him when I think it's much more weird to fuck someone often without love, only to get release. In this fic I think it's possible that it stays that way. So I am curious what you will make of it. The way you put it it would make sense.

So!!!! This is exactly the dynamic that this fic is ABOUT, okay? And while some of this pertains to my fic specifically and the places their relationship goes behind the scenes of canon, I did build it off of canon, so a lot of this speaks to the way I’m reading them on the show.

Since the fic is Keith’s POV we’re spending more time with his interiority, naturally, but I’m going to get to Shiro in a second lol. But I think Keith is someone who really compartmentalizes his feelings. I think he, more than the others on the show, sort of has an ON and OFF switch in which he’s either a grumpy little shit or he’s simply dealing in facts. It’s SO rare to see him smile; I think he laughs, like, once? Even in the shitshow of S8 he can’t enjoy himself on their day off at the carnival.

Compartmentalizing can be a useful tool, especially given that the characters are at war, but it can be so harmful, as well. And Keith, unlike the others, tends to have sort of violent outburst from time to time and does lose his temper. I know the creators one time ascribed this to his being half Galra, which I think really opens a fucking can of worms when we talk about Keith’s emotional intelligence as well as being neurodivergent; it’s a popular fanon read that Keith is autistic, and there’s a lot of clues!, but I also have to ask like, how much of his Galra half is driving in his brain? And if his brain is only half human, that literally means he’s neurodivergent from a typical human.

I strayed from my point a little but I’m trying to say that Keith perhaps relies on anger a little too much, whether it’s genetic or not, and sometimes I think compartmentalizing looks like him being angry all the time because he won’t interact with any of his other feelings.

THE EXCEPTION TO THIS of course, is with Shiro! There are so many moments of him and Shiro where he’s vulnerable and soft in a way he doesn’t show to other characters! And I think it’s easy to overlook this when we watch with shipping goggles—of course we ARE SEEING IT because we’re shipping it lmao but it’s easy to forget that he doesn’t show this to anybody else.

So anyway I’ve been very intentional in this fic to try to write Keith as obsessively compartmentalizing and trying to keep a hold on all of his emotions and have control over the way other people perceive him. I’ve ranted & raved about this before but I read Keith as a person who makes himself deliberately unpleasant so that he can control when people come & go from his life, rather than ever trusting anyone or relying on them or having his feelings hurt when he inevitably gets abandoned again.

I often struggle in this fic with the line between showing and not telling because I am very aware that a lot of the text IS telling, but this is intentional! Keith obsesses over every feeling, every interaction with Shiro, he questions everything he says and does and worries about it for days! This is part of his anxiety around the whole situation and not knowing if he’s behaving correctly! He doesn’t want to compromise his relationship with Shiro, because it’s the ONLY meaningful relationship in his life AND Shiro is the ONLY person he has the stomach to trust, but on top of that he simply does not understand how he’s supposed to act. So every interaction between them is this huge puzzle for him to figure out and he’s stressed out as fuck!

And this fic is about him trying to compartmentalize all these human emotions and needs, like, his need to have sex, his need for companionship, maybe even his need for love? And he has the drive to want these things. (Does his growing and uncontrollable horniness have anything to do with same non-human half that dictates his temper? We shall see. 😏) But how does he navigate “I am horny and want to get off” vs “I need the companionship of my best friend” alongside “having sex with someone is actually very intimate” and in the end "sexual intimacy makes me uncomfortable because in some ways this thing with Shiro is everything that I want, but if I admit that and lose it I will be destroyed” ?? How can these things coalesce for him???

The idea for this fic was me trying to subvert some tropes I was seeing all the time in Sheith fic and the main one is like, we have a habit of making them such soulmates and making it so seamless! WHICH IS FINE AND GOOD, I LOVE THOSE FICS TOO LOL, but I wanted to ask like, what if it was messy, what if they were just fucking? And I think part of me wanted to keep the illusion going for longer, when I was first planning the fic, and it wound up like growing a life of its own and taking me to a lot of places I didn’t intend to go. And I say that because, where we are right now in the story, I don’t think either of them are denial about their feelings, or withholding on purpose. I think Keith is compartmentalizing, and I tried to get at this a little bit when he has the conversation with Pidge about what love means. He loves Shiro, he already loved Shiro. He will love Shiro regardless, as a friend. And he’s also fucking Shiro. And he’s keeping these two things separate. And I don’t write it as if he’s pining and WANTS more (just yet) as much as he’s just found himself in a tricky emotional space and doesn’t know where his boundaries are.

The complication of the perhaps-alien-half dictating his libido trying to co-pilot with his very human half that is demisexual is a problem, too. Like he asks Pidge in Chapter 8: . “If you love someone as a friend, but you’re fucking them. When does it become, like. I don’t know. Romantic?”

He doesn’t know! We don’t know! Let’s keep going and see what happens lol.

SHIRO ON THE OTHER HAND.

What makes him such a great character (for me lol) is that like, he could so easily be such a 2D character and just, the fearless leader who is always chill and nice to everybody, and we DO get that to an extent, but they were generous in making him so multifaceted. He has PTSD. He struggles with his disability. He even loses his temper sometimes! When he gets back (as Kuron) he has a lil depression cave sesh in his bedroom in his PJs. Like he’s a very well rounded character and it makes him extremely realistic and human to me!

I don’t think it’s as fair to say that he compartmentalizes the way that Keith does, except what we can glean from his canon timeline. Meaning: He fights for the Kerberos mission despite his disability, he makes it up there only to be abducted, he survives the arena, he escapes to lead Voltron. And ALSO him being canonically queer; I think this starts getting into headcanon territory because I don’t think we get any clues in canon that they’re navigating homophobia in their universe, but we absolutely still see ableism and sexism. (Put a pin in the racism conversation as well when it comes to like, alien species and systems of oppression because there’s a lot to unpack and I’m trying to focus LOL.) So like, we do know that their world isn’t perfect, and Shiro is someone who had to work his ass off and fight for his rank and for his career. He’s someone who can put his feelings aside and focus on the task at hand, and we know this because he’s NOT perfect, he does occasionally lose his temper, and he has PTSD!

Basically, I think we have to assume he compartmentalizes to function, because he comes out of a year of INTENSE trauma to immediately lead a team, and lead them with kindness and patience, and the writing tells us that it’s not a matter of him being Perfect Cartoon Man, because he’s not a perfect person and he’s traumatized as fuck.

Because the fic is Keith’s POV I’ve tried to communicate this by Keith noticing that Shiro wears “masks”, or uses different voices. Sometimes it’s even about his clothes, like as they become more intimate and Keith starts seeing more of Shiro’s scars, and how Shiro is self-conscious about them. But it’s also moments like in Chapter 7 when Shiro is crying.

I feel that Keith and Shiro have some like sort of equal-opposite relationships to trauma and grief that balance each other in the end. Like, Keith lost his dad at a young age and had a horrific childhood, but that’s been his reality for most of his life and he’s learned how to carry it day-to-day. Even though he’s a messier and more immature person, he’s used to shouldering it and it’s sort of baked into his personality at this point. But Shiro’s trauma is SO new. Shiro’s is a ton of shit ALL AT ONCE, vs. Keith’s 10+ years of grief and disappointment, and it’s so recent! Even though Shiro is, on paper, a more mature and emotionally intelligent person, this is very new to him!

So Shiro in this fic also has some feelings he’s juggling, like, “I am touch starved and have physical needs” and “my mentee grew up kinda hot” and “I have to be very careful with him and his feelings”. He sees Keith for the mess that he is, and he’s patient, and he can wait for Keith, and take Keith’s lead.

I don’t feel that Shiro is pining necessarily, either—I think he’s a lot more grounded and realistic, and their encounters aren’t causing him the same level of anxiety because he can read Keith so clearly, even when Keith can’t read him back. But I think, he is pining a LITTLE lol. I think because he’s smart enough to know where this is heading, and he’s being patient, but he’d speed it along if it were up to him. They’re both so sensitive in different ways and I think they’re both so vulnerable to hurting each other’s feelings!!!! And Shiro is trying so so hard not to crush Keith like a little egg!!!!!!!!!!!

😊

Anyway !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you for coming to my lecture! I don’t say this often about my fics because it makes me squeamish but I LOVE this fic, it really is where I put all my Sheith love, and all the thoughtwork I do about them is FOR THIS FIC lol it’s my lovenote to them, I’m putting my whole Sheithussy into it ahskjgdlasd

#sheith #stuff i wrote #ttsr #SPACE MAN META

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polyamorouspunk · 10 months ago

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Fully agree with you on the trans thing. It’s something I struggled with for a LONG time that I didnt *want* to be fully 100% trans. Like I fit in with trans people, I was transmasc, but I never felt *trans*. If that makes any sense??

People used to tell me all the time that I had to be trans if I checked xyz boxes. And I hated it. Now, years later, I’ve made it to a point that I just *am*. And it took me SO LONG to realize that was even an option. To just be myself without putting a label on it. I dont need to be fully cis or fully trans. Im just a little bit of everything and fully me.

It still confuses my queer friends. That I just *do not* care and dont put any importance on it. So its nice to see someone else with that opinion. Thank you

Yes!

Listen like I do not care if people reblog my posts and disagree with me. Like that’s you’re right as an individual. But what I don’t like is when I make a post talking about my identity and someone “corrects” me on it.

The problem with the push to be super inclusive, sometimes, is that people stop making it about who *wants* to be a part and who doesn’t.

I know people who are gay men who have 0 interest in being part of the LGBTQ+ community. Gay men who are like I’m not queer I’m not part of the community I’m just gay but I’m not identifying with the community in any way.

I know people who have described their “gender” to me almost verbatim the way that trans people have described to me their gender and have told me they do not consider themselves trans in any way, and it kind of sucks because I’m like… I know that if I were someone else they might put that label on that person even if that person doesn’t want it?

I’ve had people ON THIS BLOG send me asks telling me I am not trans and other people send me asks saying I’m not cis. Like lmao it’s so fucking funny pick one you guys. I gotta be one or the other- SIKE no I don’t. I’ve had people dump me over saying “I’m both cis and trans” which in hindsight seems kinda ableist because that was actually when I started IDing as plural so like. The idea you can’t be both is like. You know there are people with different experiences than you right. Like some common enough to be in textbooks. Not like some “out there” concepts like if you can grasp the concept of DID you can understand how perhaps to some degree a person can be different than their literal AGAB without being trans. Just for one example.

Sometimes I also fail to realize this but. When you reblog someone’s post, or comment on it, or send them an ask, etc… you are coming into THEIR space. I mean it very much went through my mind to be like “just ignore it” but I was like someone is coming onto MY post where I try and validate MY gender experiences and telling me people like ME are quite literally exactly what I’m talking about where I’m like actually I’m valid if I’m a little trans and outright saying “YOU AREN’T A LITTLE TRANS UWU” like. Hi it’s you you’re the problem you’re the people I’m validating myself to. Like I don’t care how politely and nicely you try and dress it up with inclusive language do not put me into a box I do not want to be put in because you think “that I have to be trans because I check xyz boxes” yeah literally. I know fully cis people who check “xyz boxes” and I ain’t out here telling them that actually they’re trans and valid for it. Like bro if you tell me you’re cis who am I to disagree.

In the near future you’ll never hear the words “I’m transgender” come out of my mouth directly. I might post it on here or say irl that I “dabble in transgenderism” but I do not outright say irl in person that I am transgender not because I’m “dealing with internalized transphobia” and “not ready to fully accept myself to be transgender in the real world instead of just offline” like no I just don’t ID as “transgender” period. Or you know what maybe I am but also who are you to say that’s what I am? How are you helping exactly? How is acting like I can’t “really accept myself for who I truly am” helping me any? Idk. Just because you have good intentions doesn’t make it better than the people who have bad intentions. Both are issues. Both are problematic.

Learn to go “actually it’s not my fucking business if someone is trans or cis or neither” and “they can call themselves whatever they want” and that includes NOT wanting to be included.

#bro like even Nimona says in the movie ‘I’m not a girl I’m just Nimona’#like I’m not a transgender person I’m just me #punk gets mail #personal

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petefromarma · 2 months ago

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omg thank u for answering my question!!! you did not ramble, it was all really interesting and i liked to see the process 💟

your comment about scents having the ability to change has me 👀 about joe’s comment on patrick smelling “better than before.” i was kind wondering about that, like if he meant when patrick was upset or if it was possible he was referencing pre-hiatus in some way and now i have so much more to think about

speaking of joe, on the piroshky marked with a ‘p’ that he ate, by chance, did the p stand for pork? because if so… lol. lmao even. you are so casually hilarious.

also, patrick is so funny being all, i’m a grownup, i can do everything myself, only to IMMEDIATELY turn around and be like wait, why is pete’s entire focus and attention not on me??? when he talks about managing any aspect of his life all i hear is Lil RT’s voice “i’m a big dog and i do big dog shit”

lastly, i can really feel how much longing he has for pete, despite trying to be really clinical and unemotional about it and to pretend he’s over it and it’s delicious. i’m in love with it.

please anon this is so kind omg 😭❤️ i’m glad it helped also!! and, yeah i’ll go ahead and expand on that lol re what joe said about patrick’s scent, someone in my comments mentioned it too which i’ve been meaning to reply to for months but i have the attention span of a small dog

so when he comments on him smelling ‘better than before’ he is talking about when patrick was angry; scents change with extreme mood swings/emotion in this verse and what patrick was sending out into the world at that time was that he was pissed off and his emotions were turbulent/all over the place and it reminded joe of his mom, who died a few weeks before the start of the fic. irl joe took some time off from the band to be with his family but went back to work soon after and iirc it was just an incredibly difficult time for him. but anyway joe is this fic is sort of…he considers patrick a brother but he also has a slight unrequited thing for him and it’s a bit of an oedipal thing, where patrick reminds him of his mom. short, fiery personality, mean to him, etc; usually i think this is more a latent thing for him but being so overwhelmed brings all of this upset to the surface for him and patrick being visibly and olfactorily pissed off at him is just too much all at once

and yeah it was pork 💀 i’m pretty sure joe said at some point that he eats pork and i think that his family does too (possibly? his brother seems to be more observant than he is so i’m not sure) which like, makes sense, he’s from the midwest, i feel like most jews in the us probably eat pork nowadays, but i kind of think it’s funny that comparatively, patrick doesn’t lol

PLEASE NOT LIL RT THAT RLY IS HIM 😭 i’m so glad this came across how i wanted it to lol he’s such a brat. like he thinks he needs to be independent because that’s what he Should do but pete has always been there and he flounders without him. pete’s kind of an asshole who’s always putting his foot in his mouth, and likes it when patrick relies on him, but also, he’s like, not wrong that that video probably wouldn’t have gotten uploaded if he had been the one mercilessly hounding their management team for updates about the situation, whereas patrick kind of just forgot about it

thank you again btw your asks always so sweet they really make my day 😭❤️

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another-lost-mc · 1 month ago

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HII UR OC'S R SO COOL I'VE BEEN THINKING MORE ABOUT THEM THAN THE CANON CHARACTERS SINCE THEY HAVE LORE THAT ADDS UP SO WELL AND JKSDJHBUDFG

I was thinking how would you think the angel OC's would react to the news that Simeon isn't an angel anymore? (human or demon idk what’s going on in the lessons anymore lmao)

Would they be surprised considering (in their opinion) he's almost a great example of how an angel should be so it was unexpected or would others be not so surprised? Also depending on how well they knew Simeon would it come as a more depressing news for some?

And I love all your works smmm 🤍

I'm glad you like the OCs.✨And I'm sorry that I’ve been sitting on this ask for a while but I've been at odds with the game's flimsy world building when it comes to the Celestial Realm/angel society and Simeon's story line is another example of that. I also played through the most recent lesson to catch up on what's been going on with Raphael, tangentially related to Simeon's drama, and yikes.

ANYWAY. I do (eventually) have some thoughts about the OCs, but this also turned into a speculation post/rant about angels and the Celestial Realm so you might have to muddle through that first. Apologies in advance. lol

(Note: unhinged rant may contain potential spoilers up to the current lesson of NB)

I have to admit, I really don’t buy into whatever it is Solmare is trying to establish with angel/demon lore by implying that Simeon (or any angels) turning into a demon is supposed to be some long, drawn-out process. I think (I hope) it's a very rare occurrence and not standard procedure because I think it’s stupid. (And I'll eat my shoe if MC hasn't gotten the Super Sailor MC power-up specifically to fix whatever clusterfuck is about to go down in the upcoming lessons).

I’ve complained that the world feels extremely empty aside from the canon cast, because if Simeon were slowly becoming a demon:

- Why has it taken so long for the other angels to notice?

- Why hasn’t Father noticed or, more importantly, done anything about it? Like, speed it up the process a little bit if he's not going to instruct Michael to fix it? (He doesn’t strike me as the patient, level-headed type. Or maybe he’s a sadist and this is just another level of petty punishment meant to make Simeon suffer even more because ???)

- If there were suspicions about Simeon’s well-being as early as OG Season 3, why didn’t Michael do anything sooner? (In all likelihood, it would've been shrugged off as part of his punishment and not taken seriously)

- If ANY of the angels suspected anything, why didn’t ANYONE do anything sooner?

Of course, there are theories that Michael (as an extension of Father) runs the Celestial Realm with something like an iron fist and other angels may not be comfortable speaking up against his decisions. The other angels (the Seraphim most likely) would be torn between loyalty to Michael/Father and Simeon's well-being. Risking themselves to voice those concerns may be secondary to their own sense of duty (and self-preservation) if they feel like Michael would punish them as well for trying to interfere.

While there might be justifications or excuses about why no one has done anything to help, I think my biggest criticism is that none of those possible reasons are good enough to justify not getting involved. Are angels just petty and unobservant? Would they allow that type of suffering to continue if they even suspected it was happening? I want to give them more credit and say that they would help if they could and it's frustrating that this was so easily avoidable. It feels like there's way too much happening that seems to be at Michael's random whimsy without a whole lot of reason or logic to justify his choices, not when there should be measures in place to ensure he's not just doing whatever he wants while the other angels are seemingly fine with his own emotionally-driven decisions.

(I will admit here that my personal world building for the Celestial Realm does include elements of mistreatment/neglect, but there is also reasonable fallout because of it and other angels do try to hold the Seraphim accountable.)

So, you can see why I struggle with some of the interesting story directions in Nightbringer because the Celestial Realm is a gong show, the angels are seemingly too traumatized, scared, or powerless to do anything, and apparently no one saw it coming - except for Nightbringer, probably. Any takers on who it is? Barbatos and Solomon are fan favourites but right now I’m leaning towards MC or one of the angel characters.

Anyway, the current canon angels remind me of that one meme, especially Michael. Well, really ONLY Michael because he’s the only off-screen angel we really hear about and he’s the big boss in charge and it’s sort of his fault. “I’ve tried nothing and I’m all out of ideas" as he watches the other angels (and himself) deal with the repercussions of: a long history of unforgiving leadership; the fear of punishment from Father/Michael for voicing their honesty or concerns; and the desperate need for therapy to help process the trauma of the Celestial War and any other wars/losing other angels that came before it.

Let’s see. Michael punished Simeon after the war and he was demoted, while Simeon was probably struggling with his grief and doubt over losing his friends and also whether or not what he did was worth it considering nothing changed. Simeon was punished again for stealing something from Michael’s “President of the Lucifer Fan Club” collection and gave it to MC, which by the way saved all three realms from imminent destruction.

Simeon: You’ve already demoted me to the lowest rank, you can’t do worse than that.

Michael: Hold my strawberry tart. *removes Simeon’s Celestial powers and makes him effectively a mortal human*

So now we have Simeon, the human version of him, that’s been repeatedly beaten down and punished for *checks notes* having thoughts and feelings that don’t 100% align with Michael’s beliefs and Father’s wishes. Given everything he’s gone through, and the fact that angels apparently don’t have therapy as he’s still struggling with those feelings thousands of years after the war, is it any wonder why all that doubt and anger and bruised pride would start to corrupt his now-mortal soul?

At least, that’s the only way I can make the current plot line makes sense - if his turning into a demon is the result of him being human and therefore susceptible to sin and corruption the way other mortals can be.

(I should probably repeat that I don’t think this is how the angel-to-demon pipeline works AT ALL because it should be easily avoidable It takes a monumental crisis of faith and a willing, almost selfish desire to want to be a demon over being an angel. It’s not an easy process and there should be interventions NOT JUST PUNISHMENTS MICHAEL to try and help prevent it.)

So, if being human made Simeon weak enough to be afflicted with corruption enough to possibly transform him into a demon, it’s…Michael’s fault, I guess?

God, I can’t wait to see how they wrap up this mess in four more lessons.

Anyway, back to your question, I should probably give some context first. In the OC world building, the process of casting an angel to the Devildom isn't drawn out like in Simeon's case, and the punishment is swift but cruel and undoubtedly painful. The loss of any angel is a blow to the entire realm.

Angels that don't know all the circumstances will be relieved, but angels that did know the fallen angel in question will feel that loss keenly and suffer for it. There's some conflicted sense of knowing what happened was probably "right" vs. the selfish emotions that they've lost their friend/mentor/lover/whatever. In Meta's case with Azazel, he suffered from a lot of guilt and self-doubt; in Habuhiah's case with Belial, she was nursing feelings of anger and betrayal.

If we had to drop them into the NB story and have them react to Simeon's situation:

They ultimately support Michael’s decisions/Father’s will as absolute (something something about the greater good)

Gabriel and Uriel (they usually agree with each other and present as a united front in public, and they argue/fuck through their disagreements in private). If Michael asked for their opinions on what to do about Simeon, I think this is a rare occasion where Gabriel would tentatively support Michael and Uriel would not. I think Gabriel could be swayed into changing his mind; Uriel, Raphael and Simeon are too close for Uriel to abandon either of his friends if they need him.

They are more likely to argue in Simeon’s defense (if given the chance)

Metatron (Seraphiel and Habuhiah by extension, although they’re mostly powerless except for supporting Meta in his efforts to make a stand).

#jes.replies #jes.oc asks

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leenfiend · 1 year ago

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I thought the Two Slow Dancers comic would be a fun opportunity to break down my process a lil bit cause this was a lot of undoing and redoing and adding so for any ppl curious it will be under the cut!!

So to start off I actually only thumbnailed what is now page five and six, the original image in my mind was them reaching out to each other in different seasons clothing, I considered just making an animated version of that but then I connected it to the two slow dancers scene I had imagined in my head a month or so back and wanted to make it part of a small narrative:

(I actually did page six first - u can tell by the way my writing is nearly incomprehensible that this idea came to me like a vision in the night)

But then looking at that i said - well surely that doesn’t tell the story enough. I need more. And then I played two slow dancers on repeat for probably an hour while I thumbnailed a surrounding narrative for those two pages and ended up with this mess:

And from there I actually started working on the lineart two pages at a time - I like working on freakishly large two page spreads because to me it helps the flow feel more cohesive, I don’t look at them as isolated pages until I get to the shading part of the process.

But once I sent it to some ppl for feedback and reread it myself a million times I felt like the story still wasn’t reading the way I wanted it to - two out of six pages were “flashbacks/memories” pages and that ratio didn’t really allow for the other four pages to read as a cohesive story in my opinion so I kept trying to workshop two more pages for the front and I went through a few iterations:

I thought at first I would show the outside of the garrison, give the audience more of a setting, and then show the flyer so we know Keith is getting ready for this celebration. But it was too literal for me (even though what I ended up doing was still pretty literal lmao). So then I started with the phone/text messages as a story telling device:

Also this is an example of how I almost always draw the comic panels before I decide what goes in them haha, unless I’m really sure what images I plan on focusing in on the panels almost always end up informing what goes inside if that makes sense. But I finally ended up here when I decided “that’s good enough”

I even did most of the lineart for this composition before I decided the imagery of the jacket was just too repetitive, like we don’t need THREE PAGES of keith putting on a jacket.

So i kind of just moved the left page over to the right, and left the right page blank for most of the rest of the comic process. I finished most of the lineart on the rest of it before I finally circled back and decided to go with a tweak of what I originally thought was a lame idea (I had this image in my head of the lions silhouette against the glow of the Earth for the first page, but with the lyrics “the ground has been slowly pulling us back down” I thought it was just too cheesy, especially because that’s not what the lyrics mean either in the song or in the context of this comic and I didn’t want them to be perceived as so literal)

So this is the thumbnail I landed on for that which eventually turned into the actual final page.

Once I had all of the thumbnailing done the rest was pretty fun work! Just lots of going back in and detailing out the scribbles I had first put down. Now in terms of color, I actually have a secret. Most times I don’t color much at all? It depends on the piece but for most of my comics what I do is this -

I flat greyscale color everything and then use a color curve adjuster inside of procreate to pick a color pallet:

color adjusters are ur friend for picking color pallets i'm TELLING YOU!! I used to have a lot of trouble with cohesive color comps but it's a lot easier for me even without using this method now. Anyway I usually leave it here, in my other comics I don't have any shading or background elements outside of the panels but I figured since I was working so much on this comic anyway, I might as well light it a bit. So I basically just scribbled over the whole composition with a purple marker set on a multiply layer and then erased out the places I wanted light to hit, and then added a soft light layer with colored lights to give it more of a party look:

The only hang up I had during the coloring process of all this was how to color the "memory" pages. I originally just wanted them to be more pastel/blue, I thought that would make them look distinct enough. So I painted/shaded this whole page before looking at it within the rest of the composition and deciding it didn't read well at all and ended up sliding the saturation down to zero and calling it a day:

But I'm happy with that decision because it allowed for the "coming into color" moment with the other memory page and I think it connects better to the rest of the comic visually that way. And that was the whole process! There were tons of other little adjustments I made along the way and other composition things I tried out but I do tend to erase instead of iterate in layers so this is the process I have to show you! As a little bonus behind the scenes, here's the time lapse replay of that initial thumbnail for all eight pages! (it is sideways just because it's so large so if you're on a phone/tablet/laptop just turn ur screen sideways otherwise I'm so sorry lmao)

#my art #this is so long but i like 2 talk about process stuff lol #i also would love to see anyone else do a breakdown like this i LOOOVEEE seeing how other people work.#and feel free to steal any way I do anything ever (it is not stealing it's simply learning and using artistic practices that u are drawn to #colleen thoughts #also i use the 6B pencil in procreate for all of my linework ever and all of my thumbnailing im a one brush type of person #and it's like a default brush too lmao

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