#that is all i wanted from this morning
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seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything
#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out#i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity#but me i like to chill out.#and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed#at the thought that others might want to see me working#if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do#catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries#for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day?#or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk#not in the slightest#but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior#that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation#this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age#and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative
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emma dupain cheng on the brain😽🎀
more:
#ml#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#my art#emma dupain cheng#emma agreste#(i think that may the more popular tag for her lol. she is a dupain cheng in my heart though)#plagg#she is thirteen almost fourteen here btw. because i love circularity#emma dupain cheng to me is like. what if emilie or adrien grew up in a stable home with no trauma. that’s emma#and she is theater kid✨#and adrien and marinette are soooo so so supportive and love going to her shows and are so proud of her#/marinette has to be held back from trying to manipulate the school play casting process to secure emma the lead every year#but then emma sets her sights on bigger things(broadway west end)#and adrien pumps the breaks big time#and he’s so torn between supporting her interests and wanting so badly to keep her from like. being a child actor. having a job. b#being pulled from school#and emma gets upset bc he is standing in the way of her dreams#and they fight about it:(#and then emma discovers plagg and convinces him to help her sneak out and go to her callback that she secretly auditioned for#(and forged all the parent signatures for lol)#and. well. plagg CAN be bribed#and also she just reminds him so much of baby adrien🤧 he is a softie#and she runs away to her callback. and adrien and marinette wake up the next morning and see on the news that there is a new chat noir.#anyway. not that i’ve thought about it or anything
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i am so unbelievably homesick right in the morning like why
#i just wanted to have some coffee and smell the rain in peace#that is all i wanted from this morning#i didn���t need to be hit by an intense wave of nostalgia and sadness#fucking sobbing fr#i’ve been doing so shit mentally anyway#constantly overwhelmed because i can feel a special interest of mine fading#a special interest of 2 and a half years and i just. i miss it.#it used to occupy my brain constantly and it was literally a huge part of my mind#in all it’s crooks and wrinkles#and now it’s slowly fading and i try to hold on because i don’t want to let go#i have had similar experiences with this spin#like maybe once a year it fades a bit#for a whole month even#but it always comes back#and now i’m just really really scared that it won’t#sorry for the vent i am just so sad rn#🫧
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can you even call it a warm up if I'm going to bed without drawing anything big
and a sketch I made while sitting in the park today
#sketch#my art#bnha#shigaraki tomura#tenko shimura#all for one#midoriya izuku#bnha manga spoilers#only after I finished basically polishing this sketch did I notice how it's basically dark and light mode#also the first one is basically a redraw of illustration from vol 11#I know that translation of Tenko's words is different in official but eh#fanart#I've kind of recovered from recent chapters#and I was analysing those chapters all morning#I'm still thinking but otherwise the chapters are so good#also did you notice that AFO actually talked about how his other him didn't use that 'last thing' yet and that was in ch 410#and in ch 419 he did so it's real and it's still sad#but still AFO was never hiding it enough#from Tomura maybe but we as readers actually saw his plans play out#in any case I'm still just sitting with those two Izuku and Tenko interaction chapters#I waited long enough#and if you don't count AFO's return Izuku DID save Tenko and it's so interesting#since he now has to save his OTHER origin that was in ch 237 taught to kill whatever he wants#Tenko and Tomura both had 'origins' chapters and for now we only worked with 235 and 236#and even if Izuku helped with the start of 237 there's still AFO#in any case it was a hard week#also the second thing actually had them holding hands#and then I was like 'but at that point Izuku's hands are gone oh no'#and it was just Tenko holding air where the hand was destroyed#in any case that scene.
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2024 Brazilian GP | x
#franco colapinto#autumn posts#I'm so conflicted about all the rumors!!#I want him to have a spot for 2025!! but rbr is kinda falling apart!! and we've seen how especially callous they can be 😢#I miss Daniel so much 🥺 I've been on my usual insta dives and everytime I see vcarb I still pause out of habit#still I agree with so many folks that its good he got away from rbr who never were going to give him the respect and opportunities!!#so I worry for Franco!!!#and poor Max gosh this FiA balogna and the car just not performing 🥲#tbh I've been hiding in like 2017 posts just soaking up content I missed from bygone days!#I spam my sideblog verstappen100 if anyone wants like mostly Daniel throwback yearning hehe 🙂↕️#idk the vibes feel off this GP especially so like...idk how to explain it!!#but anyways I think I'm just new and I'm sick irl so just kinda stewing in the feels#nothing some gifs can't fix 🙂↕️#and I have to work tomorrow 🥲 but then!!! freedom!!!#anyways just rambling...#I like to hide in the tags and the side blog but I know that#hiding how I feel is blocking me from making true connections in fandom!!#I worry I'll say something silly or something#but maybe I should be more brave instead of hiding#oh anyways!!!#if you're reading all this!! thank you! hehe nothing huge just feeling dumping before slumber 😴#I hope all is well!!#sending good energy out to Franco on such a hard weekend#and to Daniel hopefully chilling and dreaming up something excellent 💞#and to y'all!! have a good night morning and afternoon!! 🌙☀️☁️#going to add a few more photos before I go!!
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lesbian pride moment 😳🌸
#jolyne cujoh#hermes costello#stone ocean#jjba#jojo's bizzare adventure#deliart#jolymes#i didnt make it in time for pride month. its 3 in the morning#but some for some time zones im just in time<3#focus here was GREEN i just wanted to work with lots of green colors#bc i never do and i need to improve at that#we ended up with neons tho still sorry#also the background was fully rendered so much details n stuff but u cant see it hehe bc i blurred it#that was what most of my time was spent on . btw#anyway. hope u all enjoy the dresses lol#might go back and fix some stuff tho bc i drew this in like 3 days from lineart onward#so i havent been able to rest my eyes inbetween. so ill probably find something i wanna fix later
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Hand That Feeds (Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Female!Reader) pt. 2
a/n: this one's a bit shorter, next one will have smut, i am so fcking sleepy writing this i'll have to check tomorrow it this isn't a hallucination
Warnings: Horny Violence, Blood and Guts, Suggestive Themes, we're on a steady route to pound town
Summary: Cooper catches his prize, but an uninvited guest puts a strain on an already rocky relationship. Cross-Posted on AO3
PT. 1
You must be a Vault Dweller. Truly. There is no other way to explain the utter lack of self-preservation skills.
Cooper finds you almost immediately after the sun sets. He can see the flickering light of your small bonfire through the trees, and languidly, he stalks forwards, opting to stay in the shadows to observe you a moment longer.
You're sitting on the ground, back leaning against a destroyed carcass of a plane. Hair pushed out of your face, Cooper can see the flames illuminating your focused expression with warm light. Once again, he's struck by this seemingly regal air around you. Like you've been raised in a castle, far from this fucked up place, that is now his home. A princess, stuck in harsh reality. Eyebrows furrowed, bottom lip tucked hard between your teeth, you seem to be pondering over something.
With quick motions, you take your messenger bag, opening it and dumping its contents onto the ground in front of you. It's somewhat hard to see, but the sound of small glass bottles knocking into each other is telling enough.
Taking stock of your inventory, you begin to tuck everything back into the bag. Chems upon chems, RadAway, RadX, quite the little drug library, and Cooper's eyes immediately lock onto his most sought after, amber liquid. Why would a Smoothie like you need any of that stuff is beyond him. He hasn't seen any Ghouls in the small town you hail from.
Perks of the job, he thinks to himself, as you stack away at least five vials.
At the last bottle, you hesitate, bringing it up towards the light, and looking at it with a worried expression. The liquid swirls inside, and Cooper watches from the shadows, as you press the cold glass against your forehead in a motion eerily reminding him of a prayer. Your shoulders shudder, and Cooper's mangled ears strain, as he sees your mouth move.
- Let me be brave - you whisper to the vial, like some ancient spell, and something new tightens in his chest, something he immediately brushes away.
Then, he sees you lift a very familiar piece of equipment, putting it on your wrist, and begin to tweak something in the controls. A Pip-Boy. Old and battered, but apparently still working. All his confusing feelings are wiped clean in an instant. Now, he's truly intrigued. The clasps seem slightly too big for your hand, and the device slides the length of your arm, as you move.
You sigh, heavily, then press something, and the Geiger meter clicks to life, picking up on stray radiation. Cooper feels his muscles tense, knowing all too well, why the device has activated so rapidly. As a Ghoul, he leaves a trail of radiation, that follows him wherever he goes. He wasn't particularly aware, that a Pip-Boy could pick up on it, but he wasn't surprised either.
The sound makes you freeze in your spot. Slowly, you scan the area, your hand extended towards the darkening outline of the surrounding trees. As your hand passes by the place Cooper has chosen as his hiding spot, the meter grows louder.
Jumping to your feet, you raise the blasted thing in front of you, your other hand tugging at the waistband of your skirt, freeing your trusted kitchen knife. As if to double-check, you put your hand somewhere to the back, listening to the quiet cracking noise.
You can't fully confirm your suspicions on time, as Cooper springs to action.
A thick line of rope falls over your shoulders, and before you have the chance to react, the loop around you tightens. Your entire body is tugged with surprising force in the direction of the treeline. Loosing your footing, you collapse onto the damp forest floor, chin scraping in the process. The yelp of shock tearing out of your throat, rings through the surrounding area, before you literally, eat dirt. The force of the impact wrenches the knife from your hand, as it bends at an uncomfortable angle. The weapon lands somewhere in the grass, the blade reflecting the flames.
Wiggling like a worm, trying to free yourself from the bounds, you notice a pair of well-worn shoes entering your vision. They cross the remaining distance, stopping just short of your head. Knees crack as your attacker squats down, before taking your hair into a hard grip and lifting your head from the dirt.
Your face twists in pain, neck craning uncomfortably, and with an overwhelming feeling of finality, your eyes land onto the face of a ghoul. The Ghoul. He turns his head slightly to the side with the meanes of grins, before letting go of your hair, your head falling back into the dirt.
- Oh, motherfucker - you groan, pulling your legs up, and attempting to get up.
- Stay down - the Ghoul's voice is rough and biting, and sudden pressure on your back pins you to the ground. - Do you know how fuckin' stupid it is, to light a fire in the wilderness? Any unsightly character could pick you off in seconds.
Spitting out stray clumps of earth and grass from your mouth, you scoff at his scolding tone.
- Thankfully, there are no unsightly characters here, huh?
- Oh, I wouldn't say that, sweetheart. - the bounty hunter tugs the toe of his shoe under your side, and kicks up, turning your body.
You roll onto your back, throwing a nasty look at the Ghoul, as he secures the loop of his lasso. His eyes reflect the light in the most haunting of ways, and you squirm under his gaze, which drags itself across your body, stopping briefly at the tips of your breasts, peaking from under your shirt. Swallowing thickly, your muscles relax, in hopes of loosening the rope. It barely gives, but your limbs recover some wiggle room.
Cooper blinks, his head jerking to the side, and only as he brings his hand up, do you register the gun in his hand. Making sure you can see it, he turns towards your messenger bag, grabbing it from the ground where you left it.
He sits down, somewhere outside your field of vision, and you risk pulling yourself up into a sitting position. He doesn't seem to mind it now, too busy with rummaging through your belongings. Finally, he pulls out a vial of amber liquid, watching it swirl in the flickering light of the bonfire.
- Now - Cooper starts, as he grabs the inhaler from his pocket, inserting the vial into it - Why would a backwoods healer have something like this on 'er?
Rolling your shoulders ever so slightly, the rope slides further down your arms, and you regard the Ghoul with a venomous rendition of a "are you fucking dumb?" look. Which he doesn't appreciate. His hands tremble, as he closes his mouth over the inhaler, taking a long hit, draining the entire vial. You try very hard, not to notice the low moan flowing out of him, as the drug enters his system. Or the way his eyes flutter blissfully for just a second.
- You never know, who might be needing help... - you mutter, wincing at the biting pain in your limbs.
- Well ain't that considerate of you - he coughs into his gloved hand, before sighing deeply, his head reclining back against the plane's exterior, his eyes closed.
From where you're sitting, he looks weirdly handsome. Rugged and very much Ghoul-like, but handsome nonetheless. The skin of his neck is pulled taunt, and in the flickering light of a dying bonfire, you can see a myriad of scars, littering any surface of his skin that's visible. Still, there were other matters at hand, that needed your attention, and you try to shift in your seat as quietly as possible, slowly but surely sliding the rope down your body.
- Next time you try to run away, I'll shoot you - your efforts are stilled by his warning tone, and by the way he waves his gun at you, you know he'll make good on this promise.
- Thought you needed me in good condition.
To that, he finally throws you a look from under his cowboy hat.
- Good... - he confirms, his other hand slowly shortening the length of the rope connecting the both of you - Ain't the same as mint.
The loop suddenly digs further into your flesh, and you grunt at the uncomfortable feeling of the rough rope scratching at your exposed upper arms.
Unfortunately, he's right. During your time as the local healer, you've done many questionable things to ensure the well-being of the town. One of those things, was dealing with organ harvesters. You've only bought a limb or a finger, every once in a while, as if that was some consolation for your darkened soul. Those moments quickly taught you, that something being good was most certainly not the same as ideal. Or mint, as your captor has supplied.
- You a Vault-Dweller? - the Ghoul finally asks, breaking the small spell of silence between you.
The question doesn't surprise you, and you lift the Pip-Boy as far up, as the lasso allows you. Which isn't a lot.
- Nah - the flames dance on your suddenly melancholic expression, and Cooper drinks it all up, curiosity spiking with each new information - My mother was. She ran away from her Vault when she was a teenager and joined the Brotherhood soon after.
- The Brotherhood doesn't recruit women - Cooper turns his body towards you, fishing for lies like a shark sniffing for blood.
- Oh, it doesn't? - your lips pull back into a teasing smile, which perhaps isn't the smartest thing to do, but entertainment is scarce in the Wastelands, and you're determined to have some fun - She posed as a man for years, picked up a job as a medic.
Cooper hums to himself, inviting you to elaborate with an inclination of his head.
- There, she met my father - you continue, looking over at the last glowing embers of the bonfire - They were discovered, court martialed for treason. They escaped together and had me somewhere along the way.
Your Pip-Boy still cracks, the radiation emanating from the Ghoul making the Geiger meter go haywire. With soft eyes, your hand traces the outline of the screen, watching the way green light dances on your fingers.
- The forbidden love of the Wasteland - you sigh into the silence - Sounds like a title of some romance novel, no?
- Or a bad porno - Cooper grumbles, rolling his eyes.
- What's a porno?
His head snaps towards you in record speed, a myriad of emotions running through his mangled expression. It settles on deep annoyance, when he notices the sly smirk on your lips, and you have to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from laughing.
- Gotcha - your attempt at finger guns is pathetic at best.
- Oh, you think you're a fucking comedian, huh? - the bounty hunter asks, a slight amused tint to his words, which you consider to be a small victory.
- That's why they put a bounty on me - you giggle - I'm too damned funny.
- Shut it.
The sudden change in his tone catches you off guard, and you cock an eyebrow at him, confused. The Ghoul looks much more tense than seconds ago, his hand tightening around his gun. One of his legs kicks up a pile of dirt, smothering the dying embers of the bonfire, as he leans forward, seemingly ready to jump.
- Had I known you were such a buzz kill...-
You're not allowed to finish, as the Ghoul basically throws himself in your direction. Your yelp is cut short with a piece of flimsy cloth being shoved into your mouth. A series of muffled sounds, vaguely resembling "is this my robe?" escape you, and the Ghoul pushed against your head, until you fall back down onto the ground.
His body is hot against yours, as he covers you entirely with his weight. It's quite difficult to breathe through the makeshift gag and the overwhelming scent of blood, gunpowder, and the sickly sweet undertone of rot. As well as the unfamiliar feeling of having someone so close. You were a hermit after all.
- I said, shut the fuck up - he whispers harshly into your ear, and you shiver underneath him, as his chest rises and falls against your back.
Then, a sound somewhere close to the forest line makes your head whip in its direction. Cracking of twigs and heavy footsteps, coming closer and closer with clear determination.
- Healer? - your entire body stiffens, as a familiar voice rings out through the trees. - Are you alright, Healer?
Benny. The same Benny, which led this damned bounty hunter right to your doorstep is currently making his merry way towards the both of you. Your eyes follow the way the Ghoul's thumb loads the pistol with a click of finality, and suddenly new energy floods your system.
- Stop fucking moving - Cooper grounds down on his teeth, as you attempt to free yourself from both his grip, and the lasso's.
Images of Benny, bloodied and dead, flash through your mind, and despite your lack of any sympathy towards the man, you don't want to see it. So, you start to move again, violently shaking under the Ghoul, forcing the lasso to slide from your body. Your hips jerk from the ground, bucking into him like a wild animal, and somewhere behind your ear, you can hear him suck in a sharp breath. Which you have no time to dwell upon. Your tongue fights against the fabric of your robe, and after a second you're able to spit it out.
- Don't shoot him - you plead feverishly, hands gripping the Ghoul's forearm - I'll talk to him, he'll leave. Just don't shoot him, please.
Cooper looks down at you, his eyes hard on your face, as he watches out for any signs of deceit. Then, he presses his lips into a thin line.
- Make it quick, or I'll pop his head clean off his shoulders. - southern accent floods every syllable, and were you not fighting to save a life (again), you would've blushed.
- Yes, thank you. I'll be quick. Thank you. - words spill out of you like a broken faucet, whispered into the space between your bodies, as the bounty hunter tugs off the loop of his lasso.
You take a moment to steady yourself, as he drags you up with him, hand twisted into the front of your shirt. Still a little stunned, you allow him to manoeuvre you, turning your body in his grasp, until your back is pressed flush against his front.
Strong arm sneaks over your shoulders, hand clasping around the column of your throat, while the other one waits just outside of your vision. The barrel of the gun rests between your shoulder and your neck, and the coolness of the metal causes a myriad of goosebumps to erupt across your skin.
- I'm here Benny - you call out, praying to anything that would listen, that your plan would work - Come out, slowly.
To his credit, Benny has always been quite good at following directions. There weren't many attributes about him either way, a bit dim in the head, a bit too heroic.
And definitely a bit too quick to pull out a gun.
Which is what he does as soon as he sees your peculiar situation. The Ghoul drums his fingers against your pulse point, and Benny approaches, a simple shotgun in front of him.
- What the hell...?
- Benny, I need you to listen to me - your voice sounds way too panicked, and you swallow hard to fake some illusion of control over this situation - I need you to turn around, and leave.
- But, there's a Ghoul with a gun behind you, Healer.
You nearly jump out of your skin, when you feel the hot breath of your unwanted companion on the back of your neck. You can almost imagine his chapped lips, so close to your skin.
- Time's a tickin', sweetheart - he whispers, and your blood runs cold in your veins.
- He's a - you swallow, mouth going dry in an instant - He's my friend. Who's getting very anxious with the trigger, Benny, so please, just go home.
Deep down inside you know there is no scenario, where the farmer leaves alive. He signed his death warrant the moment he stepped out of the shadows, yet for some unknown reason, that just makes you fight against the odds harder. Call it dumb optimism, perhaps you're possessed by your mother's spirit. Or perhaps the chems have finally scrambled your brains for good.
- He's not looking very friendly - Benny's gun sways slightly, as he tries to keep it raised, muscles evidently straining against the weight - He's the guy that shot Pete.
Oh for fucks sake, your whole body starts shaking at this point, heart thrumming in your chest like a moth batting against a lampshade. You can feel the Ghoul smirk against the skin of your shoulder, and tears prick at the corners of your eyes. His thumb presses slightly into your pulse, feeling it run rampant against his finger.
- Please - somehow you hope the desperation in your voice will be enough - Please, leave. Benny, please.
Benny looks between you and the Ghoul peaking over your trembling form. You can see his brain working overtime, scrunched eyebrows, smacking of the lips. You're only praying it's working in the right direction. Then, some idea flashes across his expression, and you know in the hollow of your stomach, that this is his end.
- If I save you, will you marry me? - he asks, looking at you with the utmost hopeful expression.
- ...what?
Confusion doesn't even fully register in your mind, as the deafening sound of a gun being fired nearly blows up your eardrums. At first you're not sure, what you're looking at. Where there used to be Benny, now there's a carcass, mangled and bloody. It's hard to figure out, where individual parts of his body are, some bones sticking out from the chunky mush. A spray of red falls onto your face like a morning mist, and the scent of iron and gunpowder is stunning your senses.
You can't move. Eyes glued to what once used to Benny, you don't even notice, as the Ghoul removes himself from you, placing the lasso over your head and around your body. The loop is secured tightly, and the bounty hunter tugs on it a couple of times, just to test its durability. Then, lazily, he picks up your messenger bag, swinging it over his shoulder.
- The first time he came to me for help, he tried to domesticate a rad roach - you mutter absentmindedly, not caring if your unwanted companion is hearing you - Wanted it to help with the farm work. I had to stitch half his left side.
- Stupid life deserves a stupid death.
- You're a fucking monster - you spit out, the feeling of Benny's blood on your lips almost making you gag.
Apparently, the Ghoul takes offense to that, because almost instantly, he's in front of you, his hand gripping your throat, and pushing you hard against the metal plating of the destroyed plane. Stars erupt behind your eyelids, as your head knocks hard into the wall, pain barely registering under the confusion.
- I have been more than accommodating to you, little princess - the Ghoul snarls in your direction, but all you can focus on, is his other hand, grabbing your bruised chin - I've entertained your little medical escapade, I let you negotiate with that dimwit over there.
The warmth of his body suffocates you stronger than any hand around your throat. You can't decide on the color of his eyes, as they seem to shift between amber and green, and completely black. Your mouth opens just a smidge, as you try to defend yourself in any way, but before you can speak, the Ghoul shoves two gloved fingers into your mouth, silencing you in an instant.
- I could be so much worse, darlin', and I don't think you would like that - his voice lowers itself barely above a whisper, and he watches your expression shift under his grip.
You can't help it, really, the way your body reacts to this rough manhandling. It's not like you could predict being pinned to a wall by a stranger would make your thighs press together. Cooper looks down. He smiles like a cat, that's just found the fattest of mice, when his eyes drag back up to your face.
- Or perhaps you would - his knee presses against the middle of your thighs, just short of forcing them apart, and you gasp around his fingers.
As if nothing has happened, he pulls away, so suddenly, you nearly fall over. His gloved hand glistens with your saliva, and gracefully, he wipes it clean on your shirt. Blushed, panting, and very angry at this turn of events, you stare daggers at him, as he tugs at the lasso, forcing you to start moving.
- What is your name? - you demand, blood running hot and defiant in your veins.
Cooper stares for just a moment too long. The way you seem to bristle in rage, even though that farmer truly was stupid, and you know it too. He likes the way your eyes harden, the way your jaw sets, when you realize this is no longer fun and games. When you recognize, how dangerous he can be, how mean and ruthless. He'd be a fool not to admit it, it makes him feel powerful, revered.
And the undertone of humiliation running through the length of your spine is just such a delicious addition. Almost better than chems. Almost more addicting.
Lips tugging back into a nasty smirk, he appraises you with his gaze, surprised when your resolve seems to harden even more.
- You, Healer - your title sounds wrong coming from his thin lips, worse than any other time you've heard it - Can call me "sir".
Something akin to disgust runs through your expression, and you turn away with a grumble.
- Fat fucking chance.
#my writing#cooper howard smut#cooper howard x you#cooper howard x reader#fallout x reader#fallout tv series#fallout smut#the ghoul x reader#the ghoul smut#if yall see any typos no you dont ill edit it in the morning i just gotta post it before i go insane#i am slightly taking inspiration from a little ship ive been shiping since highschool but i want tell yall which one#you gotta guess#its from superwholock is all im gonna say which is just... who am i#anyways good night this cowboy is retiring
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can i just say, it still makes me feel a little crazy how astarion, come act 3, still can’t quite put a name to his relationship with his partner, but he WILL tell them he wants to keep them both safe.
he won’t say i love you just yet but he will say forever, for good.
#astarion's greatest desire being safety -> astarion telling his partner he wants to keep them safe too#the way this particular facet of his want is twisted into a desire to preserve them eternally through vampirism and compounded by#his own need for security from betrayal if he does ascend#the way 'it can't be forever' is very pointedly one of tav's options to break up with him post ritual as a spawn#and the shift in his language going from very fleeting and temporary to this very permanent thing despite his inability to name it#going from 'i'm all yours and you're all mine... until morning at least'#to 'i'm doing this for you too you know. to make sure we're both safe. forever. for good.'#like do you get me do you understand the gravity of a vampire dropping the f (forever) word#chef's kiss muah no notes#astarion ancunin#astarion#astarion bg3#bg3 astarion#i knowww he's still being a cheeky and slightly manipulative guy up to the actual ritual but come on
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give me some whiskey and ill draw The Most Thing i can come up with
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#snap sketches#this wasnt the personal thing i wanted to draw this weekend but it has been on the back burner for a while so. it counts !!!!!!#i did sketch this last night. MODERATELY hammered and the final comic is Just A Tad diff from the sketch im wheezing#just in terms of angles but still thats huge to me#CHAT everyone knew i was gonna draw SOMETHING as soon as i saw those tentacles#however i flipped the script on you all. probably. idk SOMEONE prob assumed i woulda had magneto use them#but how the turn tables .... have turned. this is so stupid JVLKJVLA if this gets 5k on twitter ill do a charles ver MAYBE.#welcome back to my ongoing series of These Old Men Will Make Their Weird Love Affair Everyones Problem#i have an exam in the morning i need to stop this#ill have to this week like Truly but still VJELRKVJE I GOTTAAAA STOPPP DRAWIN THIS LATE#anyways. please enjoy this is so dumb but i got to try drawing charles' powers in effect so thats nice#i should do a study of that one day ... not anyday soon LMAO GOD moving on goodnight everyone !!
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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.
yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.
it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.
how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.
chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?
how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.
"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.
i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.
#writeblr#warm up#i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books#(just started book 4)#and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!!#(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. )#anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild#but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild???#so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning#and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go#anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct#i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers#i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page.#here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once#it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because#when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area.#i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that#a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN#who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends#i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!
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assorted Jeeves and Wooster sketches of various quality from the past six months, part 1
#jeeves and wooster#jeeves#fanart#genderbend#reginald jeeves#bertie wooster#regina jeeves#imagine having a style#idanit makes#idanit draws#some traditional art some pc digital art and some phone fingerpaintings in this sketch dump#I don't know what it is about this fandom that makes me want to post most of my sketches even the bad ones#i have so many bad good omens sketches that i'm perfectly pleased to never post#it might be because jeeves is a much smaller fandom and if other people were sitting on their sketches i would have liked to see them#as for the unsourced quotes...#slide 4: an autotranslated Russian fic called “Дживс и Каннингемское привидение” by Jane_Doe#(the illustration isn't all that connected to it though)#slide 5: Wodehouse#slide 6: a panel from the manga adaptation called “Please Jeeves”#slide 8: “Kiedy ranne wstają zorze” i.e. a 1792 morning hymn by Karpiński. it exists in English as “With the Morn in Radiance Breaking”#but i prefer the Polish original
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friend ditched our plans to go with her boyfriend instead
#and now shes like well why dont you come and join us we hang out with her boyfriend all the fkn time today was supposed to be just us#like i dont want our friendship to just be me third wheeling. and i havent had time to get ready anyway bc she ignored my msg#from this morning asking if our plans are still on. like this is so annoying
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More riddler doodles mayhaps 🥹
i wanted 2 color the rest of this but got lazy >_> anyways.. slewpepppy eeeumm go to sleep sometimes dude
#batman followed all the riddles from his latest crime but doesn’t want to wake him up…#let him rest#inspired by me because i’m really freaking tired but i have my 10 hr drive 2 college in the morning so i gotta pack my stuff :[#whatever too much scariddler lore#riddlebat#edward nygma#edward nigma#the riddler#dc comics#batman#bruce wayne#my guys#fanart
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I should be asleep but instead I wish to yell at everyone about how utterly enamoured I am with the entire 100+ years pre-game Reithwin setup. Isobel "do you believe in love at first sight" Thorm and her whole princess in a tower vibe, while being, as she says, "an experienced cleric". Isobel's overbearing widower father, who disapproves of her relationship. Isobel's very literal knight in shining armour paramour, who also happens to be the divine emissary sent specifically to protect her family line, and who has very literal wings. Isobel's high tower room, which exits onto a balcony (do you see my vision?).
Now that's romance, babes!
#baldur's gate 3#dame aylin#isobel thorm#bg3#aylin x isobel#i am obsessed i need more#from before it all goes to hell so very spectacularly#and during the going to hell part#and tbh afterwards too i just want it all#i also want to know more about all the thorms#what is their deal#feed me#yes i was scribbling a fic at 3 in the morning what of it
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Based on my favorite gif lately
#my art stuff#digital art#baldurs gate 3#bg3#astarion#batstarion#once again specifying this is a spawn astarion with some sort of wild shape thing#bat#good morning#gif#I’ve been in such a weird place mentally about art lately#I just keep stopping myself from drawing things cus I want to draw Astarion -#- but fsr my brain decided I draw him wrong and thus makes it pointless to even start#bat form is fine - I have no problems with it. But in his normal form? no can do buckaroo.#It’s one part why I haven’t shared much art lately - I don’t get happy enough about the “quality”#then just don’t share it as a result - in turn making me feel worse because I’m not posting - making me doubt myself more - etc etc#idk man - I got way too giddy earlier today cus someone could tell this was Astarion - even though this isn’t even the version of him I -#- feel insecure about#I keep seeing these artists making more realistic art and cool comics and interactions - most of which are shaded really beautifully -#- and all I can think about is how I CAN’T do that - even if it wouldn’t fuck me up mentally#I just put too much stress on my ability to create realism and I keep “failing” at doing that (by actively avoiding it for my own health)#idk man - I just wish I felt better about Astarion’s stupid chin OTL
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You shouldn't do this. I didn't even get to unpack. I haven't put on the mattress cover yet.
DESTINED WITH YOU 연애는 불가항력 2023, dir. nam ki hoon
#destined with you#kdramaedit#kdramadaily#kdramasource#rowoon#jo bo ah#asiandramasource#dailyasiandramas#kim seokwoo#destinedwithyouedit#netflixedit#kim seok woo#kdrama#jtbc destined with you#dwy: 1.16#.gif#ugh so freaking cute!! but also 🔥#if i dont gif anything else from the last eps it's bc i've been feeling sick since this morning 🤧#but i want to gif them and all their cute moments 😭
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