#that is Very Much A Thing
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realizing you were wrong is a vital part of the self diagnosis process — you probably won’t get it all right on the first try and that’s okay, reflecting on your experiences and realizing you were looking at things from a flawed perspective isn’t bad. it can be hard to accept if you’ve already adapted your understanding of yourself to include the old label, but the adjustment period is worth it once you get the chance to really appreciate having a fuller, clearer understanding of yourself.
…am i saying all of this because i’m currently trying to convince myself of it as i realize i was probably wrong about some things? yes. yes i am. if you’re in a period of adjustment too, you’re not the only one. we’re in it together.
#to be clear this is not about my avpd#that is Very Much A Thing#this is actually about the fact that i think what i thought was npd and stpd might actually be ocd#since ive posted about having npd#and since stpd was something i thought i knew about myself since before i knew about my avpd#but if ocd is a better fit and will help me find better resources in the long run#it’s worth the work of letting less accurate words go no matter how much they helped me in the past#poss.speaks#not avpd#pro self diagnosis#pro self dx#and that’s a tough one
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asking people to be mindful of others when sharing a communal space (especially one you cannot just up and leave from) is not selfish or misanthropic. come on now
#like we are human beings who have to coexist. i don’t think it should be so much to ask for some courtesy#but some of you guys act like being asked to be civil to the people around you is like being asked to sever a body part#idk it’s just a respect thing. i’m not being very coherent right now but we have to act like we can share communal spaces!#abandon ethical egoism please 🙏
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The math just adds up!
#dungeon meshi#falin touden#marcille donato#farcille#I always loved how chapter 27 ends with them both so bloody and 28 starts with them in the bath.#not just because of how iconic the bathtub moment is but because you know they had to scrap off so much gore first.#I think everyone in the party took a very long and methodical bath but Falin was basically *all* blood*.#Being covered in blood is one of those 'just girly things' that women deserve to stop being shamed about.#I just don't think Chilchuck is progressive enough. He probably made them take a bath first B*/#Okay jestering aside I want to just highlight -#The magnitude of Marcille's joy at seeing her dearest friend again! Of holding her and sharing her presence in the same room!#Something about this reunion feels like a beautiful dream you are afraid of waking up from...
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What is it about laying on the floor when you're overwhelmed that makes everything feel so much better?
#like its better than laying on a bed when it comes to that very specific state of absolutely out of your gourd overwhelmed#it takes serious self control for me some days to just not lay on the floor if things are too much#floor time is best time
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when will we talk about the willful helplessness epidemic on here. So many people on this god forsaken website demand to have any and all things that exist outside their personal experiences directly, personally pre-chewed and spoonfed to them. And when you do, they'll then ask for you to swallow for them, too, because, you see, in THEIR experience..,
#this is about people who show up in the replies asking shit that has already been answered in the replies#this is about people who show up in reblogs asking people to explain very obvious things to them that'd take one second of listening to#others' experiences to be aware of#For the love of god if you're presented with information or turns of ohrase that conflict with your personal experience don't just sit down#Consider that perhaps things unlike you exist and that things that are one way for you may be different for others#This isn't difficult you just need to stop centering yourself as the only point of reference you have#you're not. There is so much more than you out there. And you can hold it and know it#you just need to get the FUCK OVER YOURSELF#fucking christ#mumblr#problemnyatic thoughts
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Several weeks ago one of my coworkers called me over into her cubicle and gave me a very unexpected gift. Her mother passed away recently, and she'd been packing stuff up at her condo to give to relatives and sell, so the home could be sold. The mother was an avid knitter and crocheter, and when my coworker came upon her stash of equipment, she told me, she "immediately thought of me as someone who might get some use out of it."
So, I have inherited a varied collection of knitting needles and crochet hooks, cable needles, sewing needles, and, best of all, now-out-of-print pattern books, mostly for blankets, because that was what this lady loved to make most. Plus, I also have a bunch of gauge swatches she made, pinned to little bits of card covered in perfect schoolteacher handwriting setting out the patterns they were made to test.
And also...
My coworker brought another bag, full of yarn and...knitted blanket squares. Her mother's last started project, before she got too sick to continue. And she asked if there was anything I could do with it.
It turned out, there are twelve completed squares, and I quickly located the pattern book they are from amid those given to me. It's a book of 60 patterns, meant to be put together however the maker wishes into blankets of 20 squares. I figured out which of the numbered patterns were already made, and selected eight more that I thought might go well with them.
So now! I am working on completing! My coworker's mother's last knitting project!
And I really am feeling very good about doing it.
#kidk says stuff#knit#i love making blankets anyway and these patterns are honestly cool#i already have most of the equipment i'd ever need but i still feel warm and fuzzy having this old gal's stuff too#my coworker thought of me ;__; she's seen my scarves and the table runners and stuff i have in my cubicle#she gave me precious things from her mother's beloved hobby because she 'knew i wouldn't let them go to waste'!#i feel very much like a human being and a member of a community because of this idk it's just nice all right?#crafts#blanket completion project
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Just a man and his muse :)
A shameless plug for something I drew last night!
(I think I'll do a separate post for a proper Patreon update, cuz I've gotten so much support, and I've been doing a lot with it this past week and having a really good time!)
#NOTHIN TO SEE HERE FOLKS MOVE ON 📢#anyway I had so much fun drawing that thing for patreon last night oh my god#was I up until 3 am? Yes#BUT IT MIGHT BE THE SILLIEST THING I'VE EVER DRAWN#A hint. Ford has a very.......... intrusive. sleep paralysis demon#THATS ALL ILL SAY DSKJSJSGHKJ#billford#billford fanart#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#sketchbook#pencil drawing#traditional art#traditional drawing#bill cipher#stanford pines#bill cipher fanart#stanford pines fanart
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im thinking abt how anya was the one to mainly take care of curly when he became so injured.
how she likely did a lot of "invisible" work, stuff that she has to monitor around the clock. like changing his bandages, maybe washing them to reuse assuming pony express didnt have as much as curly would need in his condition. having to feed him, probably intravenously, and clean him and his bedpan up later because, you know, just because youre burned like that doesnt mean that you suddenly dont have to use the bathroom anymore. checking his vitals. maybe even talking to him to see if hes still cognizant, if not to keep him company.
the only thing she really couldnt do was the thing that reminded her too much of what jimmy did to her
#mouthwashing#captain curly#anya#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing spoilers#we see a lot through jimmys fucked up POV but just thinking of the immediate trauma treatment and surgery that woulda been needed#let alone post traumatic care#anya was very competent and would have probably done well in her industry if she had survived#it makes things so much more tragic#and maybe there were intravenous painkillers there before but just keeping curly alive for surgery and whatnot burned thru it all#thoughts
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I am such a big Werewolf Stan advocate I had to jump on this particular train 🙏 (but I didn't really wanna commit to full line art, you guys understand)
Oh, and you guys aren't gonna believe this, but here's part two 🙌
#I've been really enjoying the vampire/werewolf FiddleStan#which i think.... is for some october thing? uh fiddlestantober? or uh fiddle... idk i know it's because it's october!!#and I'm very glad for it#i love werewolf stan so much 🙏#i never really thought about vampire Fiddleford but yeah I've been enjoying that part too#anyway keep making that thanks guys 😋#I KNOW IT'S NOT SUMMER but wouldn't it be funny if they met outside of the fall months#put those bozos into situations 🗣️#this is why summerween exists in this AU guys TRUST 🙏🙏#cole's art#art#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddlestan#FIDDLESTAN ‼️‼️🗣️💯💯💯#best ship in this fandom NO COMPETITION 🙏#werewolf stan pines#werewolf stan#vampire fiddleford#fiddlestantober2024#yyeeahhhh that thing#i am not a part of it i am hijacking just this one thing 🙏#i use the praying hands emoji too much sorry guys#gravity falls halloween au
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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can we talk about how AWESOME it is when the light hits nimona's eyes?
It's the same effect you get when you take a flash photo of an animal!!! it is an incredible detail to demonstrate that she is not human !!! I loved it
#in fact it's super noticeable even for them since the same thing doesn't happen with other people's eyes#so much so that even ambrosius notices when he looks at her#I thought this was a very cute detail#nimona#nimona movie#nd stevenson#nimona brain rotting#animation brain rotting
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WAIT when did he get FANGS
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#brushie brushie#i thought i was imagining it but i have compared screenshots and it is true#they gave him a bunch of new animations and just decided to throw some fangs in there too!#unless this is an earlier thing i just missed because i don't pay attention (very possible)#anyway i decided to do one last ten-pull and THERE HE WAS#and his personal story is SO unexpectedly cute oh my gosh#at any given moment crewel is thinking about how much he misses his dog(s)#it is CANON#canon like the fangs (why) (i'm not complaining i just want to KNOW)#get you a fandom where they randomly and with no explanation give a character fangs I GUESS#anyway thank you sensei for validating the mountain of keys i threw into the void for you#i'd assumed he'd duo with grim so it is unfortunate that it turned out to be with a card i don't have and will probably never get 🙃#but it is VERY funny actually that he duos with crowley so i'll forgive him#the only funnier character would be jack#OR NO WAIT actually leona#'which character would be the funniest to --' the answer is always. ALWAYS. leona
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I love you all, but you have the wrong parallel. We love Rhaenyra asking Alicent to fly across the narrow sea and eat only cake, but it's Rhaenyra and this Alicent that mirror each other. It's the smiles, and that halting breath.
#the cake one is more closely tied with running away and all#but this is the first time Rhaenyra offers Alicent her heart#the thing she loves the most. where she feels most free#and its the first time Alicent has to say no#and now the roles are reversed and it's tragically beautiful#house of the dragon#rhaenyra targaryen#hotd#alicent hightower#rhaenicent#hotd spoilers#house of the dragon spoilers#these are very much NOT my gifs so if someone knows the people who made them so i can credit them Id appreciate it!
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He loved her immediately I'm gonna cry
#and I'm probably projecting a little too much#but idk#the first thing he said to her was her outfit was cute#and he took her in without question#his only hesitation was if it was against her wishes#he let her call him Daddy if/when she felt comfortable doing so#and she started doing it immediately#they were all the other really had#Trucy has Very Complicated Feelings about Zak but she can love Phoenix without question#sorry I'm being emotional#Phoenix Wright#Trucy Wright#ace attorney#turnabout succession
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I want to post this here too because I’ve seen it happen a few times
Please understand that there are cultural differences and language differences, if you see this happening let the person clarify what they meant, that person might just not be familiar with words the western side of the internet use
#bearz rambling tag#no it’s not really possible to let everyone who uses this term to change#because as far as I know this is the most common word with use on Chinese websites#I didn’t know that pairing are called ‘ship’ here#like why would I even know that#‘ship’ makes zero sense to me#it took me a while to learn the fandom language people speak here#it’s hard#give people time#shipping culture is very different too#Like on Chinese site you HAVE to clarify the Top and the Bottom of this ship in the ship name#it is very very important to them#people who like the same ship but with different Top Bottom preference will fight till no end#imagine how confused I was when I first got here#where there’s no top bottom differences#it’s not really a smut thing#it’s more a dynamic thing#AxB and BxA is very different#oh I can talk so much about the differences on fandom cultures#if ya are interested in more please feel free to ask#it’s very interesting to me#I wanna talk about it
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been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading
#i haven't drawn in like. half a month. which listen i know i don't post much here but i do draw a lot#i have another blog. but also sometimes i just don't post things. i draw for myself#just got burnt out from working on an animation final 😔#so anyway. eased myself back in with a silly comic about portal#my irl saw my shitty sketch and thought glados was painting chell which is very funny to me.#chelldos#but like. unrequited. glados is obsessed with chell. chell is not having a good time#portal#chell#GlaDOS#GlaD0S#my art#og post#1k#5k#10k#20k#edit: i made this post almost a year ago and it haunts me. theres a typo. chell is out of character.#because i couldn't come up with a good reason for her to be there in the first place#and this was a shitty ms paint replicating drawing that i did just to get back into drawing#i didn't think it would gain much attention#i was Wrong#anyway someone in the comments said this is what happens when you speedrun thats an infintely better setup for the punchline#EDIT 2: ok i fixed it fuck you
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