#that i havent checked out yet but feel like a beautiful idea also so of thats what youve got then ill hear that too

[princessmyriad]

That last reblog reminded me

Send me your favourite poems, please!!

I make wax stamp seals but ive nothing to really use them on, so i thought it might be a cute idea to print out poems i love and stick them each in their own little envelope so i have an excuse to use those stamps, and a collection of lovely and powerful writings that grows as long as im alive and have access to paper.

But i know like 3 poems off the top of our head lol. So please mutuals followers and friends send in your fav poetry pieces, even just the title and author and I'll look it up in my own time if you cbf right now!

[drawlody]

My list of Adam ships♡ n my opinion bout them (also fics rec :D)

Adam x Luicfer (Adamsapple/Duitarduck) 10/10

Need i say more:)))??!?! started out as a "haha funny slip-up ship" to "hey they got really good angst potential". The friends/lovers to enemies to lovers is STRONG with this one n i am eating up everything i could found on ao3. Smth bout this macho-ass man finally getting to stay back n not take charge for once feel nice, also princess Adam supermacy wooooo. Whoever came up with the ship name i applaud u cause that's like a 3 layers name(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

It's not an Adamsapple fic without Adam having at least 1 mental breakdown n Lucifer have his guilt eating him alive:)))

Very fucked up torture but i swear it worth the pain:D The dove is so dead it start to rot so plz read the tags properly (plz check out the AngeliaDark other works too they got good shit)

This one have a splits so check out both the fics (beware the author have a skrewed sense of what is considered wholesome:))))

I didnt think a smut scene could be this sad

Adam x Lute (Guitarspear/Guardrock) 10/10

Litteraly my first Hazbin ship, assholes in love is an underrated dynamic we desperately need more off:))) That with a dash of evil dude x loyal subordinate (which i havent seen since the Deathglare days) n opposite attract (look they have one main thing in common is that their extreme bloodthirst, other than that she's stricter than ur mom n he's lazier than the Sloth ring itself but that the beauty of it no? He convince her to chill tf out n not to burst a blood vessel, she keep him on track n make sure Sera dont come on their asses)

They're just being silly enabling each other terrible behaviour n i love that for them (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) Litteral besties i tell ya

Heavy non-con shit involving Val but Lute will revenge our boi i promised u that

Cool idea n they r just made for each other damn

First hazbin fic i read which is a really cool smut:D

Adam x Micheal (we need a ship name people ) (update: it's Songbird/Guitarhero) 10/10

I like how we dont even got a proper comfirmation of Micheal design/personality yet the ship is here already ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ( im using the Nakariiale's design as a base here love their design)

Hit me with that rebound love x "u look like my ex so im using u as a replacement but ill fall for the real u eventually" x co-workers in heaven. I'm thinking smth along the line of "after Lucifer fucked off with Lilith, Micheal became Adam guardian angel n they just hang out" ya feel me here? (✿◕‿◕✿)

Shout out to Bloog_b for dragging me into this ship:DDD also im on the Adam x the archangels ship as a "gotcha" to Lucifer of sort. Like bitch u stole my wives imma steal your brotherS

Look it's Adamsapple endgame but trust me u will be feed well on this ( u know how good u gotta be for people to ditch the main ship?)

I'm giving yall 4 fics here cause i can only found 4 rn(._. )

this one is uhh non-con so beware

Micheal is indeed Adam guardian angel in this one:D

Adam x Eve (Flowertunes) 8/10

I dont care what yall said they love each other throughout Eden n Earth , might have a falling out in heaven but that doesnt change the fact that they were once IN LOVE. Honestly why cant we just have a couple that have the same bright-eyed innocence like one another.I refuse to believe Eve like willingly cheat on Adam with malicious intent n all, simply she was indeed ''tricked'' or just not fully understand the sistuation, n Adam love her way too much to think that she would do that to him like Lilith. Hell the dude was heartbroken after L left , starting the abandonment issues, so he would have cling to Eve, doing everything so that he aint alone again, even if that mean leaving Eden

Honestly it pisses me off that the Adam/Eve tag on ao3 most of the time is just 1 dialouge between them back when Eve bit the apple n thats it no elaboration on the couple whatsoever >:(((

Lots of switcharoos

sinner eve woooo

look its hard trynna find a fic focusing on them ok?

Adam x St. Peter (Guitargreeter (bet ya didnt see that coming:))) 7/10

Base on this fanfic alone Joe my dude u r on the path of becoming THE Adam crack-ship writer n i am here for this:)))) just so u wait this dude gonna whip out a AdamxNifty , AdamxHusk fic later on ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

From within the fic itself the ship its 2 bros in love with homophobia standing in the way >:( also when did we have a name?!?!?!?

I just like Adam x anyone in heaven alright:D like bro famous n he got that ancient rizz, u telling mr he cant bag a hottie or 2-100+ hmm?

Adam x Alastor (Angelicradio) 8/10

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT ABOUT THEM THAT I SHIP I JUST DO φ(゜▽゜*)♪ i blame YOU honestly rn this ship is either Adam found Al after the fight n they make a deal or they're in heaven n they chillin this ship is confusing:D

They're angels on heaven

Adam gone back into eden n do shit differently

This is both Adam/Eve n Adam/Alastor kinda

Adam x Alastor x Lucifer (Angelicradioapple/ Charlie's dads (only me call them that lol)) 9/10

''Hey Charlie u know how u r sad that your mother left? Wellllllll i got you 2 new dads suprise:DDDD''

Look 3 miserable men who hate each other + hell's greatest dad + my love for Dadam = Messy ass old men yaoi :DDDD n it work perfectly with Alastor Asexuality too!!! Like Adam n Lucifer could fuck each other brains out before Al joining in for the cuddles lol

Chaos ensue

Not exactly a love triangle but a love corner but hey we barely got food here :D

I cant believe how hot this shit is lol

Adam x Eve x Lilith x Lucifer (Eden poly/ applecore?) 8/10

They could have been all married to each other(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ But as much as i go "OooOooo Poly yay'' i just cant vibe with EvexLucifer, like the cheating vibes is wayyyyyyyyy too much i just cant man . I mean with the interpetation that Lucifer came to Eden to hang out with the humans they all know eachother, they're a throuple yes but BUT when Eve came into the picture it was only with Adam n him only so the other 2 is ehhhh. Im fine with EvexLilith cause im seeing it happening later, not hidden from Adam while LuciferxEve got that deception going on .So uhhh in this ship they're more like bestie than lovers to me¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also AdamxLilith is an underrated pairing like everytime i saw this applecore thing going on these 2 r at most tolerate each other like cmonnnnn we already twist this to hell n back, why cant we make it so their arguement was a petty non-malicious one n they still cares for each other hmm???

They're one happy family

IDK what to tell u bittersweet reunion n loving family is the only typa fic u get with this ship

Not that im complaining i need this wholesomeness

Adam x Mammon (Adammon/Madam/Greedyguitar/ 1st chirstmas.... hasnt had an offical name yet) 10/10

They r litteraly same person different font idk what to tell u. More insults thrown around than Guitarspear but they're pretty similar. Adam is just " sinners suck ass but this dude is the worst in the best way". Also they're both big bois (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ , they love towering over others

I'm sorry but there r barely BARELY

any fics of them :(

The art side is more plentiful tho :D

Adam x Angel Dust (Holydust/guitardust) 5/10

THEY ARE BESTIES YOUR HONOUR n that the exact reason why i cant see them be together as a couple 100%, like the shit-talking bff vibes r wayyyy too strong XD Angel finally got someone who have the same vulgar humour as him n if Adam got married in hell Angel would 100% be his best bitch of honour (≧∀≦)ゞq(≧▽≦q)

They're best friends who have casual no-string attached sex that is ACTUALLY no-string attached:)))

I came to ship them due to those "What if they're co-workers under Val' scenarios ive been seeing on Tumblr

I got like 1 fic on ao3 i mean if u r looking for just platonic friendship between them then rest asure most Adam's redemption fics have that

I got 1 fic on tumblr

Adam x Charlie (Charadam/Guitarprincess) 5/10

U know this ship give me a pretty bad first impression since a good chunk of the fics r either heavy non-con shit or lean wayyyyy to much into the daddy kink, ya know how Charlie got suppose daddy issues n all that jazz?:))) yeah that... that

But after seeing the art side of this ship im chillin with them now, since the art r pretty wholesome, usually having them decked out in punk-rock clothings hanging out. It's a big "Fuck you" to Lucifer n i live for these mf argueing ╰(*°▽°*)╯

So uhhh stay away from the fics if ya want an actual functional couple instead of wtv messed up shit we got there:))) But here's a fic anyway, the only one where it feel bearable n actual trynna go into said messed up relationship i already warn you

We got cracks like Guitarmaid (AdamxNifty), Valadam (AdamxVal) which i dont have enough materials to decied, Classicalrock (AdamxSera) sound interesting but also havent found anything , Guitarhalo (AdamxEmily) is an unexpected find, find i deem them to be more familial than romantic so we'll see if there's a fic good enough to convince me

Edit:i forgot to add Blitzo like Mammon already there why did i forgot

Adam x Blitzo (i dont think anyone even ship this but me:)) 7/10

I cant find a single fic where they has anything more than a 1 nightstand n 1 interaction where they hit it off , i live off imagination alone (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) but like fr fr they would match so well, like their bloodlust n general jerkiness would make them the 3rd asshole x asshole ship on this list :DDDD

Tho as much as i wanna see them go further i feel like an on-n-off relationship/friends with benefits fit em more ya know ( *^-^)ρ(*╯^╰) If ya have any fic but the 2 here that have them interact lemme know cause a bitch need food :)

This is a lot of tag(._. )

[mycupofrum]

Hi! One of my coworkers just came back from maternity leave, we havent seen her since 2019, and she looks so different now after having 4 kids in a row… the point is that it gave me a fic idea about jily/prongsfoot, I thought i’d share, I hope you dont mind! It’ll be long probably, so feel free to ignore this!

So considering Canon events, James and Lily were hiding for about a year, but it would make more sense if it was even longer due to Lily’s pregnancy… which can translate well into a modern AU with the loooong COVID quarantine periods… they cant go out, do sports, go to work, and Lily is heavily pregnant, has all the carvings and her increased appetite has an affect on James’ usual diet too, then having a newborn baby too has the toll on them and their weight… so long story short, they both gain weight, Lily is curvier than ever and James has a dad bod now!

He doesnt really notice it at first, they are at home wearing sweatpants 24/7, and James has always been athletic, in his head him getting fat is not really possible… But then reality slaps him on the face, when he can barely button up his nice clothes by the time they can leave quarantine for a few hours to have Harry christened. He goes into full panic mode, checks himself out in the mirror for hours and tries on all the clothes in his closet, but nothing really fits him well beside the sweatpants with elastic bands… he finds their old school uniforms, he cant remember why he has a pair for all of them, but he’s desperate… so he proceeds to try on Peter’s old uniform, because that for sure will be too big for him at the waist, there’s still hope!… but it fits him perfectly. He is shocked and even more embarassed, like how is this even possible?! So he asks Lily if she noticed anything, and gets even more devastated hearing her answer: of course she noticed! She assures him jokingly how much she likes his belly and tbh it makes her feel better about all the baby weight she just can’t seem to be able to loose… He’s almost crying at this point, and wants to ask Sirius, he’s his best friend, he should be able to end this nonsense… unless he can’t know about what a fatass he became! He’s spiraling cause he just realized that he can’t undo almost 1,5 years of quarantine weight gain in a few weeks until the christening ceremony, where he will definitely meet with Sirius as he’ll be Harry’s godfather! He reluctantly orders new clothes and downloads a dozen diet/workout apps… only to a new wave of COVID coming! And his parents unfortunately fell victim to it this time, so his determination of getting fit again disappears with his grief and yet another lockdown.

Fast forward to the end of COVID, no more quarantine, they are eating healthier, but neither of them manages to lose any weight, indeed, they might need to go one size up again! James is kinda still in denial about exactly how many sizes he went up in the last years, but he has to admit that he sort of prefers Lily’s curves, she is glowing almost the same way as when she was pregnant (maybe she’s with child again…?), she’s just beautiful! He is not as stressed about his own weight anymore as he realized that all his male relatives grew a belly when they had a child! So it’s technically honoring a tradition on his part only! (He’s halfway between the bargaining and acceptance phase…) He’s still anxious about meeting Sirius though, he doesnt really understand just WHY he cares so much about looking fit enough for him… But he can’t avoid meeting Sirius forever, so far he was “lucky” enough that Sirius had to spend a year abroad for his work, almost like he’s also trying to avoid the meeting… whatever the reason is, it gives James some time to start working out again, but he only gets stronger and not thinner…

They finally meet, James is extra self-conscious, and Sirius also acts weird, as if he’s trying not to look at him… He’s as fit as ever, because of course he is! The meeting is over quite quickly, Sirius excuses himself and leaves early… It happens a few more times, and James slowly cares less and less about sucking in his belly and wearing loose clothes… And Sirius acts even weirder upon seeing more of the true size of James’ body…

Because Sirius is extremely into James, especially now, he practically loses it when he sees James’ now bigger, rounder and juicier ass in one of his now quite tight pants… he blurts out how James is even hotter than how Lily described him in her letters…

Turns out that Sirius acted weird because he tried to contain his lust and love… and that the covid lockdown was hard on him too, but instead of weight he gained an alcohol problem… his year abroad was because he had to go to rehab, his wakeup call was also Harry’s christening. He was only allowed to write letters, that he sent to Lily because he was too embarassed to admit his condition to James… so Lily was the first to piece everything together, and the one who tried to encourage both boys to sort out their feelings towards each other! (Her blessing is granted to prongsfoot!)

So they make up and make out! Sirius is now an expert at being healthy, he learned that in rehab, which he can now put to good use! They work out together, and while James loses a little weight, his dad bod mostly remains… And he truly doesnt care about it anymore, because he is healthy and loved, Sirius can barely keep his hands to himself!

Hi! Thanks for the ask! I appreciate that it's about accepting being comfortable in your body, no matter the size. :)

First of all, you had me at dad bod James. 😘 He for sure is in a new situation when he's never had to worry about his physique before. I like the idea that after gaining weight and dealing with the most immediate grief (RIP Euphemia and Fleamont 🙏), he finds working out something he wants to do again. Maybe he starts to lift weights and slowly builds muscle and only becomes thiccer... And Sirius just finds him hot both with the dad bod and the more muscular version because that means there's just more of James to hold onto. Sirius especially appreciates his big arms, thicc thighs and that plump arse. 🥵 And the dad belly is now just another part of James that Sirius loves.

I got the feeling that this is more of a polyamorous relationship with Lily being fine with sharing James with Sirius but not really interested in taking part with Prongsfoot alone time? Anyway, whatever they have going on, I support this. Maybe she locks them together in the guest bedroom so they will finally stop ogling each other and just kiss already. For some reason there are some snacks and water bottles conveniently left in the room as well so they can take their time sorting things out...

After Lily has arranged Prongsfoot to get together, Sirius moves in with the Potters. Harry has three loving parents and Lily has a happier husband. Sirius and James develop a workout routine that often ends with them making out and groping each other everywhere, sweaty and high on endorphins. Whenever Lily catches them in the act, she stops whatever she was doing and enjoys the view. She also looks amazing in her curvy mum bod and shamelessly flirts with Sirius who reciprocates it, whether it's romantic or not. And Sirius will get the emotional support he needs to continue to live a life without alcohol. It's the best case scenario for everyone.

[i-sveikata]

I've been reading various fanfics dealing with the series for a year now. Endless variations of Vegas and Pete, Kim and Chay... One shots, novels, longer stories. I feel like almost everything has been said and thought about. The fleshing out of the canon, the back story, the childhood and what might come after.

I developed a real addiction and couldn't get enough, especially of the complex relationship between Vegas and Pete and their respective very multi-faceted characters. The number of authors is huge, but I also spent a lot of time reading them. To my dismay, I am noticing signs of fatigue in me.

Now that everything seems to have been said, every possible happy or tragic ending seems to have been thought out and told, many fics veer off into alternative universes and genres.

It's all wonderful to read and I'm grateful that there are so many unknown but worthwhile authors whose work will never be printed but who are worthy of a large readership.

But: Since fanfiction is tied to concrete people and concrete, and to a readership that has seen the series. How do you see the future? The actors will take on new roles, if all goes well, new beautiful plots will be developed there too and good series or films will be made.

How long can the hype around KinnPorsch and the series continue? Do you have the feeling that everything is coming to an end, now that the anniversary of KP is being celebrated in a big way? Is boredom creeping up on you or is the end not yet in sight and is there still a lot that needs to be written? I have also asked this question to other writers because it really bothers me, but I would be interested in YOUR answer.

Hi there!! hmm interesting question and I don't really want to discount how youre feeling or anything but i do very much doubt that everything that could be possibly said and thought about for this fandom has been done already.

because this show isn't really that old? and the age of the show or when it finished really has no bearing on the existing fandom if you think about it. at a certain point fandom breaks away and becomes its own separate entity.

like i wouldnt say im an expert but the things that keep fandom alive are not really even directly related to whether there's new episodes or video clips or content about the actors from the show that the fans can consume.

take teen wolf for example (because its a fandom ive been in the longest) that show ended in 2017 and literally as of now when i've just checked it on ao3 it has 106,344 works written for it. A show that started in 2011 and finished six years ago. And people are still posting stories for it today! (i myself still have some WIPs which i eventually intend to finish off and share) ignoring the fact that there was a teen wolf movie recently that hardly anyone in the fandom watched it's still inspiring fic, and fanart even now six years later.

and why is that? because there's no time limit on a fandom, it's because of the fans creating things like fanart, fanfic, playlists, gifs, meta analysis, tumblr posts, twitter posts, fandom discords etc. because having a constantly running tv show or a movie or book doesn't keep a fandom alive. fans do.

to compare right now, the works i can see in kinnporsche tv series tag in ao3 havent even topped 10,000 yet. like seriously let that sink in. 106,344 fics to 9,556. like im not really trying to compare right now but its just to give you some idea that KP in particular is really just starting out, like we are literally dealing with a baby fandom here so i wouldnt despair just yet that people have already run out of ideas or that its already finished because if you have dedicated fans behind you you can end up with literally over one hundred thousand stories to read about that fandom. and tbh teen wolf isn't even the biggest fandom out there!!

And if you are feeling fatigue with the KP fandom right now then of course i would recommend stepping away from it for a while in order to give yourself a break. because at the end of the day it is totally up to you to customise your own experience.

im not really sure why it matters whether authors writing for this fandom will be published or not? im mean they literally cant legally publish fandom works? or profit off it? not without sanding the story down to repurpose it for entirely new characters. but you can always save or download copies of your favourite KP fic and if you are interested in a physical copy you could always get these bound into a book yourself (with permission from the fic authors of course).

im also a little hesitant to address the comment about 'worthwhile authors being worthy of a large readership' because it kind of discounts all of the other authors who are putting their time and effort into posting stories and might not be getting the same level of comments or kudos or attention as others. like the whole point of keeping a fandom alive is to interact with all of it and if you want to encourage more content than that means dealing with the fandom at a community level. (im not talking about the dont like/dont read elements of fandom obviously the rule of thumb there is to just click out)

But i personally really dont like the idea of setting some authors above the rest because their stories might have gotten more attention or traction within a fandom. it's meant to be a community. not a hierarchy. nobody should be on a pedestal in fandom. and i would hesitate to put any number of people above anyone else for this reason. like we really all are just people being inspired by the things we watch and experience. and by suggesting that some authors might be 'worthy' it also implies that others are not, which kind of goes against the spirit of fandom imo and can be really discouraging for people creating art or fic that might not be getting as much likes, reblogs, kudos, comments etc compared to others.

I also just want to point out that a lot of people come into fandoms without having ever watched the specific content that the fandom might be about? its actually a very common thing and they still read and engage with the fandom anyway in spite of this? so its really not tied to specific people or a readership that has watched the series.

At the end of the day i really don't think hype is what keeps a fandom alive, it's the dedicated people within that community who like and share and comment and talk to each other about the stories they love.

personally im not at all bored with this fandom (and tbh im still not bored with teen wolf lol) so i hope you aren't discouraged by the idea that a fandom simply will fall apart without its tv show because i absolutely can reassure you that it wont!

and also, taking time from a fandom can also mean that when you are ready to come back there's always the possibility of falling in love all over again. so really dont let the fatigue bother you! just because your love might be waning for the show doesn't mean that others are feeling the same way! there's always plenty more for people to share and enjoy and talk about so its not really over.

tbh fandoms dont ever really finish or disappear completely anyway. like at the end of the day you have platforms like ao3 where peoples works are archived for all time and tumblr where hints of fandom will always still roam about in reblog land. that kind of love doesn't just vanish!

welp this was a long response lol but i hope it helped in some way!

[podcast-stargazer]

There are so many incredible moments in the season 2 premiere of death by dying so go check it out if you havent already! SPOILERS FOR @deathbydyingpod FOLLOW, SERIOUSLY LISTEN BEFORE READING THIS

Without further ado here are some of my favourite moments (in chronological order):

‐ then Bury it, as deep into the earth as we will bury our depression afterwards

(I relate heavily haha)

- Hello, I am the totally fine and emotionally stable Obituary writer

(Ah huh, sure you are)

- Anyway, I was being shot at

(What a beautiful segue back and it always makes me laugh)

- I just love the music that comes in when Gert is found again (also the fact Gert is Gert in the transcript and not Marian makes me laugh)

- pretty man

(He is indeed)

- who doesn't want to be the little spoon

(I feel that on a spiritual level)

- ooooh, kablooey.

Indeed kablooey

Kabloeey

Kablooey

(What an iconic and emotionally intense section of dialogue. The feelings kabloeey introduces are indescribable)

- the entire maggot sequence is just perfection, I've never been so invested in maggots

- I thought you could use a hand

(Giving him a hand was in fact very useful)

- The return of the silent nuns! It was so cool to see these guys brought back because of the emotional depth these guys allow the characters to explore and fight against

- the whole paragraph about the idea that maybe Charlotte was right about the fake happiness being better than living with the grief

(I have very strong opinions on this whole concept but it hit really hard to see how OWs views had been morphed through dealing with grief and the complexities and pain of it while still holding out hope for Charlotte - it hurt so much)

- Gerts sacrifice - plenty of iconic lines in here but im partial to 'two plus two equals four, i don't know what that has to do with this but...'

- the direction in the script of 'Click! Beep! The detonator - oh fuck' is pure beauty

- Kablooey

- I need to know why she's gone (this just hit so hard seeing the parallels in how their grief is similar, yet knowing how different it is at the same time)

- It's okay...write me a good Obituary...won't you? (THESE WILL NEVER NOT KILL ME AS LINES, THEY WERE SUCH IMPACTFUL LAST WORDS AND UGH, PURE PERFECTION)

- The angel of Death not allowing his last words to be Kablooey

- 'Somewhere I could only go if I was dead' which was a beautiful line, but was then followed by the increasingly beautiful 'Being mysterious makes you sound like a schmuck!'

- Why are you doing this?

Charlotte is my friend

Thats it?

Yeah

(Ugh, this show has such a hold on me - I'm a sucker for an amazing friendship like this)

- then I'm just going to have to keep on living then, aren't i

(What an icon this man is)

- the 'snow' that I immediately knew was ash but still found absolutely hilarious when he got hit with an earlobe

- You once said nothing done out of love is a mistake. I don't know if what I'm doing is a mistake. But I'm doing it out of love. I hope that's enough

(I didn't need to be hit so hard in my emotions)

- Martin is an iconic bicycle, I love him

- The beautiful 'Wait I can't publish any of this can I?' As OW realises he broke the law many times

WOO! That's all of them, I hope you enjoyed reading that haha, looking forward to the upcoming episodes!

[outofcontexturi]

thurs 10th nov 2022 journal

today was a good day. yesterday was also a good day. mind has been sound. done alot of deep breathing these past couple of days. the benefits of utilising your highs i guess. I went to Mortimer House with Andre yesterday. that place is fucking beautiful. it’s the sort of place i want to be a part of if soho house wont accept me just yet ; but forreal it’s a great start for the lifestyle i want to live. so yeah that was good. really pushed myself on the treadmill yesterday. we did 30 mins. bearing in mind that i havent been to a gym in over two years i think im doing a great fucking job! Also bumped into Arseniy and Charlie in Goodge St and we had a conversation about third year and the fuckeries that take place and the life of a graduating actor. it was quite the convo i needed actually. i think im on the right path. I’d like to think i am. I think many things are a mindset thing for me. If i can’t get my mind behind it I cannot invest in it because mentally i didnt check in. I’ve been consciously doing alot of this work for 3 months now. I feel like a different person and im seeing small results. maybe they’re the results im meant to be seeing now and maybe i should wait and see how good things can get. its 21:33pm and i wanna eat. I might be seeing Alexandra tomorrow. i miss that sexy bitch ugh. I wanna see Geillo too. i can’t believe tomorrow is friday. my body is in pain from yesterday’s session. I took a towel from the place because fuck capitalism and they dont need that shit sorry. petty crimes are okay in my book. anyways karma is a cunt because i lost my fucking cocoa butter cream ( i think i left it at the place). i dont know if i have a lot of energy or if im just tired or if im hungry but i dont feel like having the same food again. i need to get back into my cooking bag cause yeah man i’ve been slacking just wasting money on outside food instead of cooking like the rest of these ppl. Ella is also a cunt for not putting me on a rota this weekend like i didnt fucking message her to put me on the shifts. i need to do some press ups. i need to bulk in three weeks. kinda. idk. i took the train with Camilla today. never done that before. she told me she had to get up at 6:30 in the morning to prep breakfast for her mum (she’s currently going thru chemo) and i honestly felt that. like i know the feeling of putting someone you love before yourself during the early hours of the morning and then acting like things are okay when deep down you want to break but you dont want to break infront of people. i get that. i need to feel sexy again. and truth be told i just want some head from a bad bitch. some head from a bead bitch this week would be GREAT. its 21:53pm. no food in my stomach STILL. i have grapes beside me though but they aren’t cold which sucks but its okay i guess. its better than nothing. im gonna listen to some music and call it a night me thinks. read a few pages of Revolutionary Suicide and then get ready for bed. currently listening to Foreword by Tyler the Creator. i did think about leaving drama school yesterday. like i really entertained the idea that maybe drama school isn’t for me and im still at a crossroads. i really hope that whatever decision i make is the most favourable for me in the long run. time to be somebody. i am somebody. i dont wanna be someone else. i wanna be me. that is all. sign out time: 22:00pm. 

[just-some-random-blogger]

Trading Secrets

GOT7

Kim Yugyeom x WangSis!Reader

Summary: After ending your year long engagement with Jaebum, your older brother Jackson made it his mission to be your personal hype man. However, while playing matchmaker, he unintentionally overlooks your own feelings.

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: Jackson's Younger Sis AU, rich kid au, themes of classism, mentions of bad exes, fluff, some angst, typos, etc.

A/N: I have been in a rut, so I've decided to literally speed run the requests I can do rn. I HAVENT CHECKED FOR TYPOS ILL COME BACK SOON ENOUGH maybe. this request has been here forever im so sorry it took so long T_T Also obviously this is fiction ok miss me with that BS TY

Meeting Yugyeom marked the end of an era, the end of my year long heartbreak, the closing chapter of the mopey life I lived up until that point.

He was the beginning of my sunshine, the reason I could walk with a skip in my step, it was the beginning of me feeling like myself again.

I met him at a gala, but not how you would expect. He wasn't one of our family friend's guest, in fact, he had nothing to do with Choi Youngjae's family at all, except maybe the fact he was their employee for that night. Yugyeom was a server for the party the day I met him.

I was in an emotional fit when he saw me at the gardens and he immediately felt awkward since he went outside to take a break from the stuffy atmosphere inside.

For a moment, he kept his silence, up until he decided it would be downright rude to just stand there within a few feet from me and not say anything.

"Did one of the snobby kids in the party fight you, or something?" Yugyeom tries with a lighthearted voice, hoping it would be better than asking if I was okay, when I clearly was not.

I jolted at the sudden sound of his voice, and managed a look at him. Since I was pathetic and prone to self-deprecation during this time, I simply agreed and casually stated, "yeah, my ex-fiancé was there with his next bride-to-be. It felt like I was the butt of everyone's joke, so yeah, I'd say it was a fight."

Yugyeom was not expecting that. But he did know about the dude who was flaunting his fiancé. How could he not when he was so bigheaded about her dress for tonight and the assests her father had. So, Yugyeom placed his pockets in his hands and asked, "was it that moron in the Im family? What's his face, Jaehyun? Jaeyoon, Jae-"

"Jaebum," I say, sniffling, "how'd you know?"

Yugyeom scoffs, "how could I not. He's a prick, even he knows it. Honestly, you're better off. The dude can't tip for his life. How is someone so rich yet so stingy."

I chuckle, shaking my head at the thought, "he wasn't always like that."

"Oh, baby," Yugyeom says out of instinct, it meant nothing to either person in the conversation, "don't defend him. He's not worth it."

It was at this moment, Yugyeom and I finally look at each other. Even with bloodshot eyes and a semi-runny nose, he decided in his head the view was beautiful. He suddenly felt even more annoyed by the idea of Im Jaebum.

"Thanks," I say, wiping my nose, "you gave me enough confidence to walk back in all the way to my car."

Yugyeom knits his brows, "what? Where you planning on camping here for the night?"

I chuckle, "I'm friends with the Choi's. It wouldn't be the first time I slept in their garden, although this time, intentional."

We both share a laugh. Yugyeom felt compelled to make the atmosphere ever more relaxed than it already was, and so he said, "I'll trade you a couple secrets, since you told me some."

Both a brow and a corner of my lips quirked up upon hearing this, "which part of the conversation did I tell you any secret?"

"The part where you talked about your ex and the fact you got shitfaced enough to sleep on grass."

"Hold on," I raise a finger, "I never said I was shitfaced, nor did I sleep on the g-"

"Whatever," Yugyeom laughs, "I got you rich kids all figured out."

Instantly, I feel standoffish and borderline provoked by this, but I keep it cool and only cross my arms as I throw him a face, "do you now."

"Yep," he pops the P, "you're the really rich type that doesn't even notice the fact that I accidentally stole caviar from the last party the Choi's had."

"Wait, wait," I feel my jaw drop, "how do you accidentally steal-"

"I was fixing my hair in the kitchen," Yugyeom immediately explains, "I had a jar of wax and I placed it on the counter top. I fix my hair, throw the jar back in my bag, except when I got to my gig, it was a fucking jar of caviar and not my hair wax."

I break into a laugh. Yugyeom watches my expression and matches my giggles. I shake my head and wave a hand, "wait, I have so many questions."

Yugyeom's watch beeps. He turns to his wrist and stops it, "well, they're gonna have to wait cause my break just ended."

"Oh, right... it was nice-"

"Do you want to get drinks with me after this?"

I am so stunned by his confidence that I nearly forget that he asked me a question. It takes him smiling at me, urging a response by saying, "any second now," as he did a small hop in his place. I break into another chuckle, feeling the need to wipe my nose, suddenly realizing I had just been crying before talking to him. Contrary to the voice I had in my head saying it was a bad idea, I quickly nodded my head and smiled back, "sure. I... I don't have anything better to do anyway."

That small voice in my head was wrong, getting drinks with Yugyeom after that party was the best thing that ever happened to me in a long time.

He and I would hang out every weekend, and he would take me to underground art shows, rap battles, and even dances showcases where he would perform.

I would learn when he wasn't hustling for extra money, he was dancing, either professionally as a backup dancer, a teacher, or in competitions.

Slowly he was seeping deeper and deeper into my world. The causal greetings I would give him if he wound up being a waiter at another party I was invited to would turn into shy smiles from across the room. The casual hangouts we had on weekends blossomed into much awaited dates that ended with kisses and promises of meeting next week.

Still, as much as my heart thumped at the sight of him, we were taking it slow and labels were sort of up in the air. I mean, goodness, he was close enough to me that he became friends with my brother. He was close enough with me that my brother trusted Yugyeom enough to drive me home when he was too drunk to do so.

So during one party on my older brother's yacht, said older brother Jackson put me in quite a tough spot, especially considering he personally invited Yugyeom after hanging out with him enough.

It seems in all of this time Jackson has seen me with Yugyeom, he didn't notice that I was practically making googly eyes at him, cause what did he do? He sets me up with Bambam.

Bam. Bam.

"Hi, Bambam," I chuckle, awkwardly reciprocating the hug initiated. Bambam was dressed to the nines, like he always was, glasses, leather shoes, gold watch, and all.

Jackson was watching from afar, arm around Yugyeom as he squealed and shook his friend, "I have a good feeling about this."

Yugyeom could only watch with disdain.

"That bastard Jaebum really did a number on her, but I think, since she's been talking about going out on dates lately, she might be ready to date again."

Yugyeom grinds his teeth, "she's been talking about going dates?"

Jackson turns to Yugyeom, the hand that was not around his friend was holding a drink, "yeah. She told me she was thinking about dating again, and I said I knew exactly the person she'd be into."

Yugyeom scoffs, "and Bambam is that?"

Jackson takes a swig of his drink, "duhhh! He's around her age, and he went to the same school she did. He's also in charge of the same department she handles in our company, so yeah. Match made in heaven, don't you think, Gyeom?"

Yugyeom, who was annoyed by the fact Jackson totally looked over him initially, suddenly felt like he was put in his place. He was none of those things. He didn't even finish going to university. He watched as Bambam nodded his head causally, making the neatly pressed clothes on his body move just a bit at the action. Then he looked at his ripped jeans and worn out combat boots, then suddenly he was acutely aware of how out of place he really was in all this.

The Wang siblings were gracious enough to make him delude himself into thinking he had a shot at getting the girl he liked.

He didn't know if it was the yacht ride or the realization that make him feel like barfing.

Yugyeom weighs the chances he has to get to shore if he just jumps off here and now.

"I'm going to the bathroom," he tells Jackson. Jackson nods and pulls away, moving on to mingle with the rest of his guests.

Yugyeom makes his way to the tiny bathroom and looks at his reflection for a solid minute. He splashes water on his face and wipes it off with bottom of his old band t-shirt.

He is surprised by whom he meets once he exits the room.

"Hey," I chirp. The smile on my face deflates when Yugyeom returns a gloomy gaze.

I find myself frowning, "are you okay? Are you seasick?"

"No..." he shakes his head. He can't help but feel tingly at the concern, and so he involuntarily chuckles in endearment, "I'm fine."

"Well, you don't look fine," I counter, offering a wide-eyed look. Suddenly, as he shifts in his place to lean against the wall, I realize something, "is this because of Bambam?"

Yugyeom, in all his casual confidence, tenses, nonverbally answering me.

"Hey," I sigh, catching his hand in mine. Yugyeom feels his entire being burn at the slightest of contact. I knit my brows, "Jackson's just trying to help me."

Yugyeom can't meet my gaze, "I know..." he offers a half-hearted smile, "he's right... you should end up with someone like Bambam."

"What?"

Yugyeom straightens himself up and tightens his hold on my hand. He looks down on me and sighs, "You're out of my atmosphere. Come on, we met at a party where I was a waiter. We're worlds apart."

I look at him with an incredulous expression, "the air pressure up there must have finally gotten to your head, huh," I mock, ripping my hand away from him to cross my arms.

He is unamused.

I sigh, "Gyeomie, do you honestly think if I cared about that, I would have my heart race when I'm around you like I always do."

"Well-" he cuts himself off once he realizes exactly what I said, "your heart races when I'm around."

I shudder out, "unfortunately yes, and you don't seem to want to take responsibility."

Yugyeom is at a loss for words. He opens his mouth and raises his hand, "I do. I do. I so do."

"Alright then," I hold back a smile, "I've told you a secret, now you tell me one."

Yugyeom perks up at that and immediately leans down as he places his hands on my shoulders. He peppers the side of my face, down to my neck with kisses, causing me to curl up at the sensation and giggle at the ticklish feeling. He pushes hair behind my ear then whispers, "I really, really, really want you to be my girlfriend."

[folklorefairyy]

* my all time faves!

celebration post !

this list could be so much longer and there are some amazing moots i have that i havent included or haven’t had the chance to read for (namely bucky since that list is so big dhdhd) and so check out the moots tagged on my celebration post and go check out all their works because they are genuinely amazing)

i might do another of these one day so that i can get more fics on but just know if you’re a moot and i havent included a fic of yours i love your work and i love you and i just think ur amazing

➱ Bucky Barnes

wakanda by @buckybarnesdiaries *

Steve gives you Bucky's dog tags for a reason.

froot loops by @burninmatches // more than just destruction *

bucky helps you during a tough time and maybe your relationship is not just mentor and student.

drunk in love by @burninmatches

you got infected by the love serum and now you’ve fallen in love with one of your closests friends, peter parker. what happens to your boyfriend, bucky barnes?

as long as i’m here, no one can hurt you by @blackberrybucky *

bucky holds you through the sadness

i’d never hurt you by @cap-n-stuff *

bucky x short!civilian!fem!reader who meet in Bucharest with reader as a tourist and as Bucky’s getting his plums reader trips and catches her - a relationship ensues yet the fairytale comes crashing down when Bucky is framed for the UN bombing and Steve and Sam come to get him

innocence by @extremelyblackandwhite

bucky barnes, recently retired avenger, is hired as a bodyguard for an innocent upcoming actress.

warm by @revengingbarnes *

“The fire alarm in our building went off and you rushed out without a coat. Wanna share my blanket?”

period. by @greyslytherin

Bucky Barnes taking care of the reader while she’s on her period

bucky having a nightmare by @cap-n-stuff

imagine bucky having a nightmare and walking into the readers room with a blanket and waking her up asking to be the small spoon

➱ Peter Maximoff

the coolest twinkie by @amourtentiaa *

where the reader discovers they have a mutation and is lowkey panicking and Peter is just there like “BUT THIS IS AWESOME!” and just generally full of encouragement while trying to calm you tf down

adventures in parenting 101: nightmares by @milkytheholy

peter maximoff x reader being new parents and raising a kid in the mansion

ivy by @sunflowergirl522 *

Your mutation is controlling and growing plants. Peter spots you one day while he’s running and makes it his mission to get close to you. You then use flowers to tell him what you think of him without actually saying it.

(just check out zoe’s full peter maximoff masterlist because she’s bloody incredible at writing peter and i need to read more of them!!)

bad behaviour by @free-pool-trash *

Peter x Reader where they’re in the sitcom reality and Billy and/or Tommy get in trouble in school so they ask them to pretend to be their parents so Wanda and Vision don’t find out

convenience store by @quicksilverownsmysoul

you work at the local convenience store, everyday the same, that is until someone speeds by. Someone brings a little more excitement to your life than you bargained for

➱ Pietro Maximoff

the other half by @burninmatches

You and Pietro have been walking through the fine line past friends and before… something else. Perhaps a handful of moments, though the domestic bliss of sharing food to the boiling feelings under your skin, would change everything. 

double sided recipe card by @vanillann *

where the reader tries to cook sokovian food for him because he’s homesick

kiss of life by @dem-obscure-imagines

You are an Avenger with the power to heal. However, you didn’t expect to catch feelings for the man you brought back from the dead.

➱ Peter Parker

sweater weather by @beskar-tano *

You spend a cozy evening by the bonfire with the Avengers and your boyfriend, Peter Parker.

the ship by @itsapeterthing *

you and your best friend and teammate, peter parker, go to a costume party only to discover that everyone believes that you and peter’s alternate super-hero identities are dating.

stuck in my brain by @felicityparkers

whatever music that is stuck in your head is stuck in your soulmate’s head too.

i have them too by @tom-holland-is-spiderman

A headcanon of Peter Parker comforting the reader with stretch marks and they get ashamed of them so they hide their body from Peter making him feel sad.

by the elevator by @peterbenjiparker * (there are two parts to this and the second is linked on the op)

You break your hand after punching the elevator door. But luckily the cute boy is there to help out. You thought you would never see him again but you both keep running into each other by the same elevator.

➱ Thor Odinson

totally not a date by @superficialstark *

in which you go on a double date with tony and pepper expecting steve to show up as a mate date and instead being met with thor who you can’t help but be charmed by

but i just wanna hear your voice by @blackberrybucky

thor comes back after they defeat thanos and tries to make things right with you.

➱ Wanda Maximoff

of taunts and tickles by @beskar-tano *

Wanda spent the past few days trying to cheer you up and bring you out of your dreadful slump. After trying almost everything, she resorted to her last hopeful idea: a tickle fight.

➱ Natasha Romanoff

my girl by @beskar-tano

Natasha surprises you with a romantic date by the lake, surrounded by the beautiful scenery as fall takes its toll on the changing leaves. 

➱ i’d love for you guys to suggest some fics for steve, sam and loki because i apparently don’t know of any in this dodgy brain of mine (she’s not working as i make this dhdhd) - you can also send some in for any i’ve not got too many fics on so far!

i havent written or read for star wars in so long (dw i am still a sw account and i love my sw moots ive just been on a marvel kick and haven’t had time to read many moots fics recently so they’re all piling up lol) and so i don’t think i could come up with a comprehensive enough list given the fact that there’s so many amazing fics coming out each day!

so instead i thought i’d direct you to some accounts that have some phenomenal work that i instantly fall in love with each time!!

➱ @etherealsanakin

poe dameron, anakin skywalker

➱ @xwing-baby

din djarin, poe dameron, star wars oc

➱ @dindjarindiaries

din djarin

➱ @sunsetkenobi

obi-wan kenobi, anakin skywalker, boba fett, din djarin, padmé amidala, rey, luke skywalker

➱ @artiza-n

anakin skywalker, marvel! (namely bucky)

➱ @beskar-tano

anakin skywalker, obi-wan kenobi, boba fett, din djarin, luke skywalker, fennec shand, poe dameron

➱ @anakinswhore

anakin skywalker

➱ @anakinlove

anakin skywalker

➱ @betweentwopines

din djarin, anakin skywalker, padmé amidala etc.

these are just some accounts that i have read regularly or some moots who post for these characters (and i need to get around reading for) but there’s so many more incredible writers for sw on here, some that i’m moots with too, that can self plug here if they want!! (my brain isn’t working today so i can’t think of everyone)

[aki-simp]

Helping hand.

((A/N: Havent written in a while so I feel a bit rusty. This fic was part of a server collab that can be found here! ))

Tags; Megumi x Male!Reader, blackmail, voyeurism, is this dark content? Also nsfw bc Megumi diddles himself hehe 

Im sure I dont need to but just incase : Minors go away

Are there words to express the feelings upon watching the one you love moan the name of your classmate as they touch themselves? Surely there must, for whatever you’re feeling is… gut wrenching? Intriguing? Disgusting? Not so much the latter, you conceded as you watched him. Truly, it was anything but. 

You took note of the small shivers that wracked his lithe form, the furrow in his brow. The short heady huffs of air he released whenever he squeezed the base of his cock and the whine that accompanied it. In all his naked glory and whatever thoughts of Itadori plagued his mind, he still had yet to notice you. 

As usual. Megumi was a perceptive boy, but you felt it failed where it mattered. Every careful word, every sure action done to get his attention. Unintentionally thwarted by Itadori. You don’t blame him, Itadori is a sweet guy. But you can't say that Megumi’s blind eye to your affinity towards him doesn’t sting. As the thoughts of all the times you looked to Megumi only to find his eyes on Itadori swell to a heavy weight in your chest, you hear him groan. 

In the time your mind wandered (and you’re confused as to how, because Megumi is breathtaking) you see he has now made himself more…. Comfortable. The bench where he once sat he now lays on, his chest resting along the seat with his ass in the air, one hand slowly inching his long finger into his hole as the other continued its languid strokes along his cock. 

You watched his finger slowly disappear inside himself as the desperation dripping from his needy moans fills the small room, the sounds rousing your cock to an almost unfathomable degree. The light sheen of sweat gracing his forehead, the bright tint to his lips from being bitten to hold back moans topped with the small coat of saliva dripping from his mouth is almost too much. Truly a sight to behold, an eternal image you wished to have ingrained into your mind. It was amazing watching how effortlessly his fingers slid into himself, as if he’d done something like this many times before. And with his sudden cry upon hitting a certain spot, you can tell he has. 

Your hand travels to the front of your pants in an effort to quell the unbearable tightness, palming yourself you can feel your watery precum leaking through your boxers. Slowly pulling your cock out, you bite back a stinging hiss as the chilling air touches your head. As your eyes travel back to Megumi’s quivering form, you pump your hand in time with his fingers, imagining the feeling of his warm hole clenching around you. A heady breath is held in your chest, the air in the room reaching a stifling degree. 

Over the slick wet sounds of Megumi’s fingers in his hole and his wanton moans, it’s no wonder he couldn’t hear your soft pants just beyond the door. Lost in his own world that you very much wished to be the center of, the pang of jealousy returns to your chest once more when he moans a name once again that is not yours. Watching him with a seething envy of simply wishing he would notice you, wanting to be the one who he dreamed of, the one he pined for. The grip on your cock speeding up at the thought of marching up to him, prying his legs open and making him realize that Itadori is simply who he wants but you are what he needs. 

A gasp catches in your throat at the sinister idea that flies through your psyche. With the shaky hand not wrapped around your cock, you slowly reach into your pocket. It pains you to tear your gaze away from Megumi’s flushed and tear filled face, but you’d be able to see it again soon enough. You’ve had it for years, but the phone in your hand somehow feels different now. Be it due to the impending orgasm from watching Megumi in his most vulnerable and debauched state or the fact that your thumb hovered over the camera button with its lens angled right at Megumi’s perky ass, the device felt sacred. 

Taking a deep, focusing breath, you quickly check to make sure the flash is off before finally pressing ‘Record’. Swallowing, you zoom in on Megumi’s blissed expression just in time to see his eyes roll back, tongue lolling out from between his bitten red lips. The sultry moan of Itadori’s name makes you curl your upper lip, an urticate reminder that despite the show Megumi has unknowingly put on for you that it is not you who he touches himself to the thought of. 

As you watched the flush on his cheeks grow in colour, you could feel the blood rush to your cock, causing it to throb painfully. You kneel, feeling the cold floor in contrast to the rising heat of your body at seeing Megumi not only in front of you moaning without a care in the world but knowing it would be on your phone to view again and again; whenever and however you wish sent a feeling akin to euphoria rushing through your blood. It was almost too cruel, knowing how awful the boy would feel if he knew, but you love Megumi too much to hurt him, you think. Keeping the video to yourself for a while wouldn't hurt anyone, and you definitely weren't complaining. 

Your attention is drawn away from the screen view of Megumi to the real deal as he changes his position. This one hides his face, but the new angle ensures you a perfect view of his ass and the flushed leaking cock below it. Whether it was this new display of Megumi’s vulnerable state or the blood leaving your brain to make your cock throb, it seemed the wet squelches of his fingers desperately in search of something deep within his wet hole. Megumi must have thought the same thing as a string of stuttered curses leave his lips before being consumed by a heady groan. Even without seeing his face, you can tell he's drooling, you can imagine it coating his lips. 

A knot in your stomach threatens to burst as Megumi’s breathy pants grow. If it hadn't been for the fact that you knew he would never do something like this, you would almost believe he knew he was being watched. The arch of his back, the rock of his hips onto his nimble fingers and the hand furiously stroking his cock was enough to make a masterpiece. Megumi was beautiful, and you would show him. 

The hand stroking his cock picks up speed just as Megumi's breath stutters and you slowly, subconsciously lean in. At one last shrill cry of a name that isn’t yours, Megumi cums, a shuddering whiney and sweaty mess. The orgasm that makes its way through you almost makes you drop your phone, but you remember to keep it steady and  the look on Megumi's face as he sits up in his post orgasm bliss is worth it. Tears clinging to his lashes, the sheen of saliva on his lips, and a small red spot on his cheek from resting it on the bench, all coming together to create the perfect picture for you to reach your climax as well. 

A small taste of blood fills your mouth as you bite your lip to keep any noises at bay. You continue to watch him in your post orgasm haze, admiring his features as you always have. Although you still wished it had been you who Megumi cried out for, you let out a soundless laugh, shaking your head. Putting yourself back into your pants after closing the video, you take one last look at Megumi, as he also composed himself to leave. As he turns his back to the door, you silently slip out. 

The walk back to your room was quiet. Images of Megumi flashing behind your eyes as you aimlessly walked the halls. You look out one of the many windows adorning the halls to see a full bright moon. Before reaching your door, you make one last stop at a vending machine for a cool drink. The drink seems to help, soothing the last dregs of nervousness and anticipation before the light padding of footsteps reaches your ears. Quickly turning to the source of the noise, you look just in time to see Megumi slip by. Your gasp is interrupted by the liquid in your mouth, and Megumi turns to your coughing form. “Are you alright?” he inquires with a raised brow, half hearted sincerity laced in his voice. 

With a few quick, harsh thumps of your fist to your chest, you nod.  “Yeah,” you let out with a shaky voice. “Just caught off guard is all.” you finish with an unsure smile. He hums before looking you over. You watch his eyes travel down your form and you quickly glance down to make sure nothing looks out of place before looking back up to him, his eyes boring into yours. He blinks slowly, his eyebrows furrowed.

Shaking his head, he looks at you once more before asking “What are you doing out here so late?”. Taking a slow sip of your drink before letting out a fulfilling sigh, you look at him and shrug. 

“Eventful day made me a bit restless I guess.” you quip before turning to take your leave. He hums as you can feel him watching you as you walk away. You almost wish he could see the smile adorning your face, maybe then, the fake worry in his voice would finally lead to something more. Just like you’ve always wanted. 

——————————————————————-———————-———

              The next day during class, your mind wanders back to the night before. You attempt to keep your hands busy to keep yourself from growing hard in your slacks. And subconsciously to keep you from grinning at Megumi like a madman. You could practically feel your hands vibrate whenever you held your phone at the thought of what it stored. The smile that etched its way onto your face sadly did not go as unnoticed as you would have hoped for. Your head perks up when Gojo inquires what girl you were texting that made you so giddy before laughing. 

              You turn away from Gojo, shaking your head. As you make your way out of the classroom, you look at Megumi before stopping. “Hey.” You start, trying to keep your face neutral. The same thrum of adrenaline after last night coming back to you. When the boy in question looks up to the sound of your voice, you have to clench your fists to not allow any more of your emotions through. “Can I talk to you later? It’s not important, it's just…..” you let the sentence trail off, hoping he wouldn’t ask any questions. 

              And like the good boy you know him to be, he doesn’t. The boy solemnly nods before returning back to the work on his desk. Before leaving, you tell him you’ll stop by his room after classes. After hearing the door click shut, you begin a slow, deliberate walk back to your room in anticipation. Upon sitting on your bed, you take the time to stare at your ceiling, pondering what Megumi will say. What Megumi will do. The blush is imminent , he’s such a reserved guy that being face to face with video evidence of him in such a debauched state would surely fluster him. 

                Would he cry? Would he get angry? Try to fight you? The mental image of Megumi crying and clinging to you, begging you to delete the video made you sigh. Imagining his lashes heavy with tears, his bottom lip trembling as he stares up at you as if you held his life in your hands which, inadvertently, you practically did. The surge of pride that coursed through you at the thought of having him wrapped around your fingers almost makes you laugh. 

               Before long, the sounds of laughter and footsteps of students returning to their rooms pulls you from your power induced daydream. Standing from your bed, you let out one long steadying sigh before making your way to Megumi’s room. You spot Itadori along the way, he smiles telling you Megumi is already in his room. How wonderful. How obedient. 

                Gently knocking on his door, you stand and wait patiently for him to reach the door and the sight of him in casual wear softens your heart. You don’t have time to wonder how he changed so fast or why, but he ushers you into his room nonetheless. He motions for you to sit on his bed as he takes his place in a nearby desk chair. 

                He opens his mouth to speak, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. “So…. you need something?” he questions as he watches you look around his room. The silence is stifling, making Megumi shift in his seat before looking at you again. “Look man, I don’t know what you-“

                “As a sorcerer, you should be more aware of your surroundings.” The interruption makes Megumi flinch, though he would deny it. Brows furrowed, Megumi goes to question exactly what you mean before you turn to him, the smirk you had been hiding all day on full display. “Don’t you think if you’re gonna finger your ass in a public place you should have the decency to at least make sure you’re alone?” 

                  All the daydreaming in the world could not prepare you for the look of shock and hurt that adorned the young man's face. The scoff you produce makes Megumi's blood boil, rushing to his cheeks and the tips of his ears. Cute. An expression of disgust takes over his features as he stands. He lets out a humorless laugh as he stands. “What the fuck is wrong with you? You’re a god damn pervert.” The shake in his clenched fists, the twitch of his eyebrow, you admire it all. It would almost be scary if this situation had not transpired because he quite literally got caught with his dick in his hand. 

                “If I’m a pervert,” you start, making your way to Megumi to stare down at him past the bridge of your nose. You swiftly grab his chin in one hand, and use the other to block the hand he tried to swipe at you with. “what would Itadori think of you?” The raw indignation from Megumi’s scowl was truly one of the better parts of this whole ordeal. 

                 You can feel him clench his jaw under your grasp, and his attempt to pull himself free from your grasp. “And why would you tell him? You’d look just as bad as I do, recording your classmate jacking off-“ his sentence cut short by the pained sound from you squeezing his jaw. The smirk you wore before is long gone, instead replaced with a cold stare that Megumi won’t soon forget. 

                 “You are loud. Just like you were last night. Calling out to a man who you and I both know doesn’t feel the same. Truly, Megumi. You’re better than this.” You shove him away, pushing him so that he stumbles onto his bed. He makes a move to stand again, but the steady hand on his chest and you standing between his legs stops him. “But this can be our secret. He doesn’t have to know, and you can continue crying and calling out to him all you want.” You chuckle, slowly pushing him down onto his bed and sliding your hand to his throat. 

                  He keeps his scowl on, but his labored breathing tells you another story. “For? I doubt you came all the way here just to laugh at me.” You smile at him, not as sinister as before, and slowly slide your free hand up his side. Megumi hates that he shudders, but he hates your laugh even more. You abruptly stand, walking to his door before looking at him over your shoulder. 

                “I’ll keep your dirty little secret so long as you don’t mind lending me a helping hand from time to time~” Megumi sits up, confused. He opens his mouth to ask what you mean before you close the door. You pull out your phone to send the illicit video to Megumi. The small chime of his phone and the anguished groan he lets out upon seeing that you had physical proof of his lapse in judgement, made the whole thing that much sweeter. Before walking back to your room once more, you send him a text. 

         “So I’m free this weekend. What about you?”

[hollypunkers]

Miss hollypunkers can you rec us some of your favorite zukka fics please

Please, anon, Miss hollypunkers was my father, just Holly is fine.

I’m not much for ficrecs because I have a hell of a memory (as in bad), i dont read too many when I an writing myself bc I lose momentum in my own work, and I never want to leave out anything I love - which I inevitably will do, but this question has been asked a lot so I will do my best. If I didnt do the links correctly let me know and I’ll try to fix it

Unconditionally and Irrevocably - @sokkadyke which should be no surprise, its a fantastic reimagining of the twilight story with so much genuine thought and emotion. I also highly recommend Haley’s current wip, Breakable Heaven, fantastic, showstopping, beautiful.

Beautiful Things by @i-love-your-light , funny, cute, so well written and I love the idea of artist Sokka, definitely worth reading and checking out their work

Plum Blossom by GallifreyanFairytale , it’s been awhile since I read this one but I remember crying and I love tragedy with a happy ending

Unchained Melody by AvocadoLove this is one of the first zukka fics I ever read I think, really got me hooked on it and so well done, I’m not caught up but I want to be

It’s the lack of creativity for me by theboilingrock, short, sweet, a soulmate trope - worth it :)

If the shoe fits by @lesmiserablol love it, cute, sweet, well written and well done, I also highly recommend checking out their ao3, there is so much to read and its so well written, this was the first fic to come to mind but all of it is fantastic and worth reading

In Spirit, In Flesh by CSHfic and VSfic, this is SUCH a favorite, I love how plot heavy and anxiety inducing it is, and all the twists and turns, it’s so good

At the Top of the World by Lady_of_the_Flowers, a reallt interesting premise that I read so long ago I cant remember a lot about it but I know it was interesting and very well written, modern au

Ozymandias, King of Kings by Think_of_a_Wonderful_Thought, I think this is the very first zukka fic I ever read? Its was sad, angst, so well written and very easily converted me to the ship. Big recommend.

The Carry On For You series by haicrescendo (and everything by haicrescendo) shkabaisis its pokemon??? its so well done??!! absolutely unbelievable. Fantastic. Amazing. Check out all their writing too.

I havent gotten to these yet but theyre highly recommended:

Feels Like We Only Go Backwards by @oldpotatoe

In the Soft Light by CSHfic and VSfic

Protective and Diners Drive-Ins and Dumbasses by crosspin

Wooing the Water Tribe by llenaballena

Cause and Effect by azenki

(Do you take this jerk to be) your one and only by jatersade

not Zukka but I highly recommend also:

Salvage by MuffinLance

Like a Baby Shirshu by mindbending

I’m certain I missed a million things so, everyone is free to just reblog this with additions or anything. Feel free. But here is my best attempt at a full list of my zukka library as of now.

[wisespookysalad69]

Racing, Part ll (Allison's perspective)

I was just trying to fall back asleep for the 4th time in the last 20 minutes, due to the stomping above of my roomate, and best friend, Nadira.

Suddenly as I was about to doze off I heard a loud bang and Nadira called my name sounding panicked. I rushed up the stairs as fast as I could. She could be seen lying on the ground holding her chest, chest towards the ceiling, grabbing her chest, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. Her breathing seemed abnormal and I began to wonder if it was her heart?

"All..ison.."

"NADIRA?! what the fuck happened? What's going on did something sca-"

"I think *pant* it's my heart, it's beating too quickly and it's.. -UGgnn. Skipping" it's like it's out of rhythm I cant catch my.. *pant* breath.."

She looked so afraid yet so ready to drop dead, I was mortified. Nadira grabbed my hand and placed my palm on her chest, strands of her long, soft black hair fell under my hand against her tanned Italian skin, but under that I focused on the irregular pumping that made itself apparent under my left palm.

"Do you feel that?"

"Y.. yes."

Her heart was beating erratically, extremely erratically. But I had a secret i kept from Nadira, she had no intuition on my.. interest I'd assume because it seems so out of bounds. I had a, fetish, you could call it. Hearts, they got me going and I never ever planned on telling even my best friend.

"Allison"

"Wha-! What?" Do you need me to call an ambulance is this normal is this just something that you havent told me about?"

"Go in my left hand dwaer fhe bottom there's a steth. Grab it.:

"Why would she have a- not important."

I opened the drawer to push past an old cellphone and t shirt she's likely been using to hide it.. like I have mine. Normal materal items would distract you from the potentially abnormal.

I walked back over to Nadira who now looked a little better. She was always beautiful anyway, but less sweaty but still panting. Although still panting she's sitting up now, which is a very good sign. I put the stethoscope in my ears and sat in front of her, Trying to make it look like I had no Idea where to put the stethoscope even though i knew I wanted to start with the pulmonary auscultation location. I gave a "confused" stare at Nadira as she panted and put the steth on her chest. Suddenly, my ears are filled with the sound of her irregular heart.

"BOOMBOOMBOOMthumpthu-BOOMthump. BOOMTHUMP.thump boom.

It almost sounded like her heart was in both tachyarrythmia, and bradycardia. It skipped a lot and was at about an inconsistent 210 BPM..I was both concerned and so incredibly turned on.

"Alli."

Hmm

"What does it sound like?

"Well. Not normal. Your heart is racing. Absolutely racing.. it feels like you cant catch your breath from the rate I'm feeling your chest rise and fall.. your heart is arrhythmic its uh. Skipping beats and youre tachycardic. Has this ever happened?"

"I- no but how do you know all this stuff about whats happening to my heart right now?" I -ugh *grabs chest * thought you were an art student, we're both art students i didnt know you we're into cardiology, what are you like a cardiophile or something?"

Did she just.. call it a.. how would she know? Shes so obvious but im growing more concerned with the task at hand. Her heart seems to be recovering but it should be monitered.

"How did you know it was called being a "cardiophile?" Huh?

"I.. i uh.. i didn't. I made it up. We're both creatives haha.. remember?"

She looked so panicked. It was so cute.. wait?what?

No. I need to listen to her heart furthermore. I put the ear pieces back into my ears and placed the steth onto her apex after tugging her tank top down.

Bathump-bathump-bathump-...babaBuMpBump.. baba..baba.. bababUmpBump. Bathumpbathumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump- baTHUMP.

Her heart sped up and slowed down, skipped, ect. But was recovering surely, she had her hand to her chest and panted.

"It feels like my heart is beating backwards. Pumping at the efficiency equivalent to a flipflop starting a fire smacking a sidewalk. " my chest.. it hurts. Check my pulse.

I placed my two fingers against the side of her neck and she grabbed my hand and placed it on her heart. Fuck.

Baboombaboombaboombaboombaboom. My heart.. its racing too. Its going at about 160 beats per minute. I'm going to be the one having a heart attack tonight..

Well, this is only part two, will things get even more heated between these two? Idk yet lol, well

I hope y'all liked this, the first part was so successful and I will get part lll out reguardless of how decent the second part goes but will also be starting on other heart-related stories simultaneously, really got off writing this one lol

-Nikki

[zmayadw]

Hello to all :)

Time for the next part!

Wish you all a wonderful evening! :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 13

We continued enjoying our time, as Aurora got more crowded with people. At some point Cleo showed up, coming to say hi to us, as she was here to meet with Hannah and the others . She had one drink with us before going to sit with them, telling how she is bussy helping her mom at the Gates of Hope with redecorating and other stuff, but she hopes all will be done soon, so we can finaly meet in peace. As it got more crowded with people, Phil was busy and also didnt have much time to have fun with us. Jessy was in a quite good mood, joking and drinking, it was nice seeing her like that.The music playing was good. There was a mixture of everything, from 80's till present day. A song started and Jessy grabbed my hand „Ohhh, lets dance, Maya, i love this song!“ I had no chance to say anything, as Jessy lead me half way to the dance floor already. She started dancing, and i couldnt do anythign but join her. And we had fun. I needed this, i tought, just some simple fun with good friends. Dan joined us from time to time, showing off his killer dancing skills. Phil was passing by us few times, going to one of the booths or tables, always winking at me with that devilish grin of his. One of the times, as Jessy and me wer dancing Phil came from behind me, wraping his free hand arround my waist and squeezing agains me. We just moved with the rhythm of the music for a while, before he groaned at my ear „Arghh, as much as i would love to stay here with you gorgeous, but work is calling.“ I grined at him, as he let go of me slowely „Aww, next time then.“ As much as i liked it, i hoped Jake didnt see this. I wouldnt want him to get the wrong idea about Phil and me. I really wanted to know where i stand with him, but this noncomunication between us wasnt helping. Lily told me to be patient, but as i told Jessy, my patiance is running short. I leaned to Jessy telling her i need to go sit down for a while, and we returned at the bar. Dan and Thomas wer there talking, and both got up from the stools letting us sit as we came. Thomas smiled at us „You two really got it going on tonight.“ He turned to Dan saying teasingly „You better be careful,man, and keep her close to you“ He pointed at Jessy „They wer smoking hot on the floor, dont let someone steel her.“ Jessy grined at Thomas „Let him sweat a little, he might appriciate me more then.“ „Awww, babe, dont be cruel, you know i appriciate you.“ Dan told her, being dramatic as always, making a puppy face. „Ohh, shus it, you big goof, and lets dance.“ She told him, taking him by the hand to the dance floor. Thomas turned to me „So, can i presume all is good between Lily and you now?“ „I guess you can.“ I told him, and he smiled „Thats good to heare.“ A waiter came with two drinks, handing them to Thomas. „Guess then soon we can all get together again, without any drama.“ „Definatly!“ i said, smiling. He smiled back „Good. Well, have fun, Maya, see you arround.“ I waved at the waiter asking for a mineral water, i was really thursty from all the dancing. I checked my phone, it was after 3, and i noticed a missed call sign. I opened the call log, and when i saw it was another of those hidden numbers, my mood darkened all of a sudden. What is going on here, i touhgt, thess calls are starting to get me worried. Jessy and Dan returned from dancing, and i decided i had enough for the night. This thing shook me up good, and i doubted i could enjoy the evening anymore. I told Jessy i'd be going, to wich she protested a bit, but hugged me and said to call her for coffee any time im up for it. I took my things, waving them goodby. As i was near the entrance, i saw Phil, so i waved at him, he winked and made a phone gesture with his hand, suggesting we'll be talking soon.

As i left the Aurora, cool night air washed over me, so i put my jacket on. I got to my car,  just leaning on the side of it, my mind still thinking of those damn calls. They are starting to freak me out a bit, and that sinister feeling started to creep up to me again. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, when a voice said „Are you ok?“ I opened my eyes, seeing Jake standing infront of me. I managed to barely make a smile at him „Yeah, im fine.“ He was looking at me, those deep eyes scaning every inch of my face, like he knew what i said wasnt true. „Just tired, i guess.“ I added, giving him a bit bigger smile, wich seemed to make him belive me. He leaned on the car next to me, and we just stood there in silence for a while. I get restless every time im close to him, my hands itch to just grab him and pull him closer. „You look good, by the way.“ He said after a while, giving me a shy look. His words snaped me from my fantasizing, and  i smiled and winked at him „Thanks, glad you noticed.“ „Ofcourse i did, i do have eyes, you know.“ He said teasingly. I turned towards him making a gesture of bevilderment as i said „Oh my, he can joke!“ „I try my best.“ He said, smiling. Oh that beautiful smile, i tought again, making me smile, too. „You going back in?“ he asked. „No.“ I started „I'm actualy contemplating should i walk or drive back to the motel.“ „And how's that going for you?“ he asked, raising an eyebrow at me. „Well, considering im still standing here doing non of the above, i would say not good.“ I replied, sighing desperatly. He chuckled at me „Hmm, well, how about I drive you back to the motel?“ I looked at him surprised, not really expecting it „You would do that?“ He smiled shyly at me „I would“ pausing a bit, before adding „For you.“ My heart started beeting like crazy, and i could feel heet comming to my cheeks. This night really is interesting. „Umm, well, sure, i'd like that.“ I told him. „But, you dont mind walking back again?“ i asked. „No, its fine.“ „Alright then, lets go.“ I told him, taking my keys out of my purse handing them to him. Our palms touched as i gave him the keys, and our eyes met. He moved his hand slowly away, taking the key, giving me goosebumps. I barely glued myself of the car to let him get in. I got in myself as he started the car and we drow from the Auroras parking. It wouldnt take us long to the motel, and i wished the ride wasnt that short. I noticed he was driving slower then you would normaly drive, as if sharing my toughts himself. I felt nervous, my head was blank, i didnt know what to say. All of a sudden, a tought crossed my mind. „Hey, Jake, can i ask you something?“ „Sure.“ He said, sounding relieved the awkward silence got broken. „Well, i just tought, i havent had a chance to ask you before. Wern't you in some kind of trouble, if im not mistaken?“ i paused before continuing. „I mean, we never discussed it any further. And since you're here at Duskwood for quite some time now already, i was just wondering what's up with all that.“ „You're right“ he started, glancing shortly at me, focusing back on the road „Short version: lets say i made a deal with some people, making sure i'll be left at peace.“ „A deal“ i started „You didnt threaten anyone, or something like that?“ „What?“ he said, „Ofcourse not! What made you ask that?“ „Hey, its a legit question.“ I told him, rising my hands up. „You can understand why a tought like that might cross my mind.“ He was silent for a moment before saying „Ok, fair enough. But, no, i didnt threaten anyone, if that makes you feel better.“ „It does. I just dont want for things to get complex for you again.“ I said, adding after a little pause, my voice getting a bit sadder „Or you dissapearing again.“ He looked at me with such tenderness, slowing the drive even more now „Dont worry, Maya, i'm not going anywhere.“ I smiled at him „Good.“ He turned his head, focusing on the road again, and i realized we came at the motel. He parked close to my room. Neither of us was eager to leave the car, so we just sat there in silence for a moment. I had a felling he wanted to say something, but wasnt sure about it. I finaly managed to force myself to leave the car. I was about to pull the door handle, when Jake suddenly said „Wait.“ I turned towards him. „Can i ask you something now?“ „Sure“ i said, even tho i had a feeling i wouldnt really like the question. He got all nervouse, but finaly asked „You and Phil.. is there something happening?“ Oh,no,no,no, i tought, why he had to ask it. The night would end perfectly without this. I groaned pleadingly at him „Ugh, can we not talk about Phil now, please.“ „Why not?“ he asked, and i noticed his nervousness intensifing. „Because i dont know what to tell you, Jake.“ „How about the truth?“ he said. „I cant do that.“ He looked at me confused „Why not?“ „Because i myself dont know what the truth is.“ I groaned, leaving the car. He left the car, closing the door and walking over to me handing me the keys „What do you mean?“ „I mean, i'm a mess, Jake.“ I started „I dont know what to think any more. You want the truth? Fine. Yes, i like Phil, i cant denie it. We clicked, i feel good arround him, thats the truth.“  My words  stung him, and he barely managed to say „I see.“ He leaned with his back against the car, steadying himself. But i wasnt finished yet. „And then there's you, Jake“ i started, my voice full of compassion and tenderness. He looked at me, his eyes meeting mine. „I like you, too. I like you so much, that it hurts.“ I paused a bit before i continued. „Im drawn to you like a magnet, i cant pull off. But, its like, every time the magnets are about to connect, one switches polarity and the other is thrown aback. Its driving me insane! With Phil, everything flows easy. But with you, its everything but easy.“ „Maya, i know i'm not the easiest person..“ he started to say, but i held my fingers to his lips, not leting him speak.They wer so soft and warm, i had to focuse hard on what i wanted to say. „I know, its not easy for you to open up, to let people in. I get it. And i know i said i can wait, that i'll be patiente. But my patiance is fading. I dont know how much longer i can go on like this, Jake. Its tearing me up inside.“ As i said it, i leaned my forehead to his, putting both of my arms to his chest,leaning against him. We just stayed like that for a while. Being this close to him, and the warmth of his body radiating - i felt serene. His heart was beeting fast, probably matching mine. I could stay like this forever, i tought, but i needed to continue. I was waiting for this, to finaly tell him what was on my mind. „I need to know what might be of us.“ I said „If there even exists the posibility of 'us'.“ We stayed like that for a while more, non of us daraing to move or speak, before i slowely pulled away from him. I sighed „You dont have to say anything now. Just, think about what i said. You know where to find me if you want to talk.“ I leaned to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek „Good night, Jake. Thanks for the ride.“ I turned walking slowly towards my room, when i heard him say „Good night, Maya, sweet dreams.“ I turned back, not stopping in my steps, giving him one more smile, him smiling back. I hoped me opening up like this will make him finaly understand the depths of my feelings. I knew there was a posibility he might not feel the same, but i didnt care of it now. I did what i could, i told him how i feel, now he holds all the cards. I unlocked my door and entered the room, kicking my boots off, throwing myself on the bed. What an interesting night it was, i tought smiling, covering myself with blanket and letting sleep take over me.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

sometime in this last week, or this week coming, my blog has turned/turns 10. god. a decade old. a whole ass chunk of my life i’ve spent on this hellsite. when i began on here, i was a kid. a lost, lonely, depressed and anxious 15/16 year old kid. a kid scared of her future. a kid confused about her future. what to do for uni. to change schools or not??? to do drama/acting at uni or english/philosophy or to move 8hrs away to another regional uni to “escape” her “washed up, dead end hometown” that was so typical of all the pop-punk music that she was listening to at the time.

she was a tad overdramatic, loud, “funny” (as described by her school friends) and terribly forgetful in regards to homework and school assignments. she was angry at the world, most especially the catholic school she was fucking sick and tired of attending. but she was convinced that since she was the so-called “funny girl”, that she simply couldn’t be depressed or anxious. she believed herself unloveable because she didn’t look like a weird mixture of hayley williams and emo-pop queen lights. but now, i no longer believe that i have to look like the women that i looked up to in the ~emo scene~. fuck beauty standards. i am loveable.

in the years since joining tumblr, i’ve managed to get through business college, my undergrad degree and, well, failed out of postgrad due to obvious burnout and health issues amongst other things. although i’ve lost many friends irl and many followers/mutuals online on here. for those who’ve stuck around to see me get through all of this, thank you. to all the friends/casual mutuals that have since deactivated or only followed me for a short time then unfollowed; thank you.

like obviously i was never/have never been a massive popular blog on here, like thebootydiaries or vampireapologist (who has since deactivated a couple of months ago) with tens of thousands of followers. my follower count is still close to the 8,000 range at 7,892. obviously that’s still a lot of people (and of course, porn bots lmao and many, many non-active blogs), enough like one super old post from like 2012 tumblr pointed out, enough for a small to medium sized city or town, or something like that. i don’t know how many people i’ve really reached. i really don’t know how i actually amassed this small army of people.

i am aware though, that on other platforms like snapchat (lmao does anyone even use it anymore in 2021???)/instagram/youtube/tiktok etc, i’d PROBABLY be considered as some type of ~micro influencer (🤮🤮)~. hell, i actually had a bot slide into my notes about being one on here on this hellsite back in 2019. i don’t know if i’ve ever actually ~influenced~ anyone on here with my shitposts (when i started making some) or my personal posts. i don’t know my reach. even though, now, i do occasionally get featured on buzzfeed listicles (although pay me buzzfeed along with the OPs of those original embedded posts), i still don’t know how many people i’ve reached… and even with my very occasional checks of google analytics lmao. on top of this, grappling with the loss of followers at times is much, much easier than it was when i began on here and the first few years following that. i know that my follower count doesn’t determine my worth and stuff.

but over these 10 years, i have grown. i turn 26 this year. back in 2011, 15/16yo me never thought she’d be here. she was partially down the suicidal thoughts hole, with things about ~picturing her funeral and wondering who’d bother to turn up. if only she could pretend to be dead for a day to see who’d give a fuck~ and 16-18yo me was defs down it with her HSC hellscape thoughts in 2012/2013. that 3rd floor tafe/tech women’s bathroom window drop and the thought of scarring her class for life (and that cool dude from catholic school that she crushed on who ended up at tafe with her) with jumping out of it onto the concrete below. instead, she just posted on fb about ~being a failure~ etc which ultimately did lose her a bunch of facebook friends lmao. it was practically the same thing. her mental breakdown after the end of her hsc, where she let her earrings go green and get infected in her ears because “fuck self care, bc what the fuck is it??? i’ll never get better! let me fucking wallow in my self loathing bc it’s the only thing that i’m fucking good at!!!” so i no longer have my ears pierced. oh! it was just all too fucking much!!

i am happier today. i no longer have those semi-suicidal thoughts. hell, i almost died in 2020 from a fucking bowel aneurysm, after my stomach tumour excision surgery. that forced me to put things into perspective. i appreciate the little things . i appreciate the very few friends that i actually have. yes. i’m still depressed and anxious. some days are still shitty and hard. but nowhere as hard and shitty as they were back when i began on here 10 years ago.

how the fuck last 10 years have gone past, with my ass on here; clearing out my blog and caring more about doing that than my uni work (lmao whoops); having made some lifelong friends both internationally (from the US) and long distance domestically in australia, it’s been a long ride; i honestly have no fucking idea. obviously over these past 10 years, i’ve debated with myself over and over and over again whether i should delete/deactivate this account or not. would it make me healthier??? more than likely. but then when i have meltdowns or just inner ramblings i have to get out somewhere, where else to post??? on fb?? obvs not. it’s “attention seeking” or the like on there. no one will read them. no one will resonate. but on here??? even if i got/get one “like” in the notes or one “yo i feel this” response in the tags or replies, it feels like i’ve reached someone??? okay yeah. i know this place IS NOT therapy and i’m not using my followers as amateur (or probs even actual professional) armchair psychologists…. which is a thing i think people need to stop doing internet-wide: but that’s a whole other post that i reblogged a few days ago lmao. i really need to get another therapist, actually lmao.

but it’s the community i’ve found hard to leave. i have what feel like friends, when i’ve never been employed (still as of yet); and when all of my irl friends/acquaintances are working and doing the whole ~adulting~ and ~grown up life~ thing right. it’s also the frenzied rabidness of spite with hating staff’s godawful ideas. the memes. oh the memes. and also the RaWrInG 20s XD emo scene reemergence on here that’s kept me here. the messy petty drama from time to time of big blogs fighting it out.

this place really is bizarre and fun sometimes. and also the fact that i can still hide behind the ridiculous “roaring pikachu” URL that i made all those years ago. i am anonymous. it’s freeing. but on fb it’s all like “WHY WONT YOU ADD A BANNER IMAGE AND TELL US 20 FUN FACTS ABOUT YOU!!!!!???? LET PEOPLE WHO HAVENT SPOKEN TO YOU IN 10 YEARS KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU BECAUSE WE’RE ALL FRIENDS HERE!!!” and the same goes for Corporate Hellscape Facebook™️ (linkedin) but in the professional sense instead. y’all know fuck all about me really. besides my posts. and i love that and live for that. okay yeah. y’all know more about my mental health than my fb feed obvs… which is probably a terribly unfortunate thing. but still.

over the last 10 years then, my superiority complex for being ~so original and intelligent~ or whatever the fuck i had in high school, has all but ebbed away. i’m not that smart just because i went to uni. hell, i literally did NONE of my in-class work and none of my philosophy readings in uni….. so i have fuck all idea of how i got through undergrad like that lmao. i’m not original when so many people can articulate the same thoughts that i have, but like, sometimes better, on a post (even though sometimes/most of the time the Tumblr User Hot Takes Tuesday™️ takes on here are fucking awful lmao). but still. originality is not something i really have anymore. or really had in the first place lmao.

so will i deactivate after these 10 years, like i’ve been saying for so, so long??? i honestly have no idea. but just know. thanks guise. have a nice gpoy selfie day XD. grab your wands. your tardises. grab your war paint. grab your whatever the fuck other fandom specific stuff that was one that hella cringe post from 2011 til 2015 random tumblr. that relic is as old as time itself. just as this mysterious roaring pikachu is for someone whose too loyal to leave this W E B B E D H E L L S I T E that’s just as much of a train wreck as she is. lmao.

[idjitlili]

Thor,Son of Odin

Thorin x Modern!reader

Summary:Imagine being apart of the company ;and calling Thorin,Thor the god of Thunder.

a/n i hate wattpad it deleted 6 hours of work on this ,bloody bullshit and i fell over in that time todays going amazing, I passed my gsces though.

Word count:3277

Okay ,okay ,let's do this one last time. You Y/n L/n ,some how ended up in Tolkiens universe,the hobbit.Bro you was beyond freaked out to wake up snuggling up with some dude,practially laying on top of him,his arms around you holding you. His hair dark ,long ,silky almost,his face wore but structured,his body muscular,yet some what stumpy. Your face so close to his ,as ou come to reality ,you do not know who in bloody hell this man was.

You had brought your hand up his his cheek ,poking it once ,nothing,again,slight groan but nothing really,again his time mulitple harsh pokes ,finally his ocean coloured eyes shot open. They looked into your e/c ones you screamed then he screamed. Pushing yourself of his out of his grip.

"who are you?" he had shouted ,in shock really.

"no! Who in bloody earth are you? and why were we snuggling? Kidnapper! HELP"  you had stood up ,your face turning in every direction to see where in gods earth you were,just all you could see was forest and a bunch of men,who surrounded you and the strange blue eyed man,looking at you strangely. You looked around again and you saw a man that was dressed as a wizard , he looked like cogsworth,damn he really does.

"oh I get it. I will rather die than take part in your orgies!" you had shouted again ,laughing in horror after ,you were very much terrified in this moment.

"I'm sorry ,what orgies? what gives you that idea?" the smallest one hadspoken up pushing passed the others ,you had pulled your attention to him ,noticing his cute dirty blond hair,travelling down to his huge hair feet,letting out a gasp. "w-why are you feet so large?" you had whispered in shock. "I am hobbit ,of the shir-" " a what?" damn if this couldn't get any weird.

"Enough! WHo are you?why wre you trying to seduce our king?" A balding muscular tattooed man had interrupted ,your questioning."Your king? I havent heard of a king,not at least in europe for over a hundred years! Also last thing I remember was laying in my bed ,not in the arms of a 'king'"  you groaned out this sitution had began to give you to give you a headache.

"this is Thorin ,son Thrain ,son of Thror,the rightful dwarven king of erebor."

"Now enough of the bullshit ,Thor SOn of Odin ,God of thunder, I want to go home! THere are no such thing as dwarven king ,nor dwarves,nor whatever a hobbit  is ,and there's certainly no such place as erebor on this earth! This isn't bloody princess diaries."

The group of men had just stared at you in conflusion,as you had fainted ,therefore Gandalf had concluded that you will be apart of the company. As he had realised some how ,some way you had ended up in an another universe,well all he knew as some sorta force had brought you their world for a reason. He had forced Thorin to accept that you were to be apart of the company ,even if he felt absolute hatred towards you.

When you had came to the first thing you saw was Thorin,so you had made a run at him punching him square in the nose,only to get this sidekick,that tattoo'ed punk to grab a hold of you. "Oi what the fuckk ,get off me!"  yeah they basically tied you to a try ,and then from that Gandalf had explained everything ,and in a couple of hours you had agreed to join ,you still did not trust them however.

You had put upon an pony ,sat behind Bilbo ,the hobbit. "hey just so you know I am still not joining in on your orgies, I do not want to lose my innocence to anyone apart from a nice MHM-" you had pretended to cup an ass in your hands."set of cake shape ass,god dAMN."Bilbo had turned to look at you with a face of pure disgust ,,whereas others of the company such as the kings nephews had laughed. "and what is this orgy you speak of lassie?" the oldest dwarvf had spoken up you had found out his name was Balin older brother of Thorin's side piece.

"oh- its basically when a group of people do the stuff eachother all together" now bursts of laughter had filled your ears. "I assure you miss y/n l/n,the is none of that." Gandalf had spoken sternly ,he did not want to witness that no thank you.

"Oh good then, oh mister hobbit you have such beautiful locks." you had brought you had to touch a single curcle upon his head,whilst the hobbit had blushed brightly at your compliment. "oh well thank you ,as do you have lovely h/c locks." you had smiled widely ruffling his hair,Thorin heard this and did not like it,jerk.

Anways skip to a week later Thorin is brooding with his coak off,those pants really defined his ass,you were sat on a log next to Bilbo,you had nudged him gently grabbing his attention. His eyes filled with red from the warmth of the fires flames as he looked up at you,Thorin's nephews had seen your staring at your uncle and were watching and listening intensely.

"Thor has a nice nutt ,mhmm ,just like Jensen Ackles ass." Bilbo had choked on his own tongue ,as you just glaced back the dwarven kings ass one last time before turning back to Bilbo.

"aye, Y/n ,psttt" Kili had whispered shouted gaining you and Bilbo's attention ,he had gestured for you to go to him with his fingers,you had grabbed Bilbo by his hand before standing up,dragging him with you to sit beside the brothers. "wasssuppppp" damn this isn't the 2000s ,its bloody some age,you don't remember Gandalf got a bit boring if you were totally honest. Fili and Kili smirk to themselves, before Kili speaks up,Fili isn't as talkative as Kili is."you fancy our uncle." you had instantly scoffed , Bilbo had just pretend to be studying the stars ,and avoiding your bullshit lies.

"I see how it is,you trying to get your uncle laid, well yes he has the perfect ass, but I hardly know any of you,except Bilbo I accidentally saw him naked, he has a the cutest little bu-""Y/n!" you had cackled loudly catching some of the dwarves that were still awake attention, the nephews grinned even larger than before at you. "so you admit to looking at our uncles bottom,and you've seen Bilbo nude! Well!" he had basically shouted.

Bofur had turned around raised an eyebrow at you ,whilst Thorin pretended to be brooding still. "what?! Lass,you've seen the little fellow naked????" you had sighed loudly in distress,bloody god darn dwarves. "I say it again it was an accident!I was go for a pee, and then I daw that Bilbo had just gotten of a lake and was wearing a toel,so I decided to scare him, I didn't know he was going to scream ,and drop his towel." Bilbo held his head in in his hands in complete embarrassment.

"what did you except to happen lass? "

"I thought that scream was you."

"wow thanks for coming to save me then. plus i thought Bilbo might of just -you know what I dont know"

Thorin had felt a load off of his shoulders fall away ,knowing you didn't get it on with a dude that was half of your height, he didn't like the fact you were on this quest ,but he couldn't help thinking you had some nice hair. He also felt like grinning ,but of course a scowl was always imprinting on his face,he hadn't had a woman check him out in what it seemed as forever.

That was months of ago now, in which currently you had all been captured by elves ,well the prince of the Greenwood realm,Legolas.The company had been separated from you and Thorin and Bilbo was no where to be seen ,but you knew he was sneaky ass..butt. This elven king Thranduil , had did some voodoo to his face ,spat in Thorin's face with his stinky ass breathe...who needs to talk to someone that close up,might aswell had kissed him. After he was done with the dwarven king he started eyeing you up so you did back ,his ass mainly.

"and who are you ,andwhy does a woman travel with pigs?" his voice like silver ,yet cold as ice, but he would not stare bloody still,while you rated his ass. "Y/n L/n-god damnit stand still," the King had stopped , you had turned your body to get a look at his...flat ass,before leaning back to check out Thorin's. "what ARE you doing?" bro they didn't even tie your hands ,so you had made your way behind Thorin cupping his ass,making him gasp in shock ,as you squeezed gently,before heading back to Thranduil who shook his head no,you didn't want to be executed anyways.

"that king has a better ass than you, I suggust some squats, as your personality nor looks are in favour f-""ENOUGH. Tell me who are you?" he had interrupted you rudely , Thorin now less red ,smirking,he was glad he didn't end up in boner city.  "uh mister lanky stick ,I am y/n ,like I already told you,now can I and my mister patrick swayze be brought to our cells, I don't want to have sex with a skeleton..I mean a elven king."

"TAKE THEM TO THE CELLS,stay here an rot for all I care,100 years is a mere blink for an elf." you smirked at the king,as you and Thorin were grabbed by guards ,being pulled away. "I feel bad for your son,he inherited your flat ass, the poor kid don't get any attention from his daddy." If you were still infront of Thranduil he would've slapped you.  However instead you gpt see his son look to the ground ,away from his fathers gaze ,before walking out of the throne room shortly after you and Thorin.

Soon as you are shoved in separate cells,the questions start from the caged dwarves. "what happened up there?!" Kili questioned loudly,"I may have cupped a kings ass."

"You touched Thranduil's behind?"

"no I almost did,but damn You should have seen his face when I told him Thorin's was better than his and that I fet sorry for his son gainning a flat ass from his father."

Silence was in the air ,for a few seconds before the company had figured out what you had meant wwhen you said about touching a king's behind.

"you touched Uncle's butt infront of Thranduil?"

"oh hey ,Bilbo." thus Bilbo lead you all to the barrels ,in which you sat in on by yourself ,it was the ride of your life, and no kili doesn't get shot,because Dwalin held you you up while pulled down on the lever, therefore no one was injured. All that happened really was you were completely soaking ,and you stayed that way until you arrived at Bard's house,thank jesus you didn't have to go through the toliet.

Bard's daughters had handed you a blanket which you had wrapped around your shoulders ,in hope to warm up. However you could not help but see Thorin ,who refused a blanket politely. His beautiful long locks dripping ,his clothes sticking to his skin,darn he must be freezing ,dwarves and their stubborn asses. He really must be cold ,due to the scribe of this tale, experiences with wet long hair ,it takes ages to dry and keeps you freezing.

So you had decided without really thinking ,to walk towards Thorin who just stood waiting ,whilst everyone else was settling down,removing the blanket from your shoulders ,placing it upon his. Now you just stood next to him ,unsure what to do know ,blushing slightly feeling his eyes on you,gasp when he gets closer ,drapping the blanket back onto you ,but keeping it on his ,pulling you close by wrapping his arm around you ,as to keep you warm too.You had wrapped your arm around his waisr ,you could already feel him warming up against you ,you could smell him aswell ,and feel his hair against your neck.

However you did not look up to see the company's stares at their king,if anything they were worried about his behaviour,yet they wondered if it was true,was you his his one? But Thorin saw it ,yet no one dared to speak upon it , as he was their king ,yet his nephews ,oh they wanted to tease their uncle until the end of the one ring. They had smirked at their uncle,kili raising his eyebrows at Thorin ,who sent a deathly glare to his nephews.

He had broken the silence shortly after that,"where are the weapons?" and of course after that he was like they are shit ,okay lets go rob a bank ,thus the next time you were so close to Thorin was after your second boat ride in the last 36 hours.

Kili,Fili,OIn and Bofur were all left behind ,to catch up when Kili had recovered. THerefore the rest of you were all now to hike to Erebor ,god it was so tiring you felt as if your feet were on fire. You had groan in displeasure before muttering "I swear dwarves must have some hella leg muscle ,yet  I don't, I cant walk." Bilbo had scoffed next to you 'your legs are 10 times as long ,you got it easy'

"I hear humans ,cannot walk after 10 minutes with a dwarf,do you want to take a short break?" Thorin had a smirk inlaced with his voice ,as DWalin laughed loudly as if he was drax laughing at peter ,he was cocky when he wasn't trying to set an example for his nephews."no I want to be  carried Thor." you had spoken with annoyance ,not watching where you was going ,tripping falling harshly on the sharp rocks ,most deinitely cutting your knees open,you had let another groan. "god damn it korg." you had muttered yet again. Thorin had made it over to you ,pulling you to your feet , before turning away ,and kneeling infront of you.

"come on get on,we don't have time to delay" and with that Thorin oakenshield agve you a piggyback ride. "Thor son of Odin ,a God carrying me? No one would believe this."Thorin didn't understand who the fuck that was obviously,you had explained to him what a god was ,the same as the what they call malah ,or near the same.

Anyways he carried you all the way to Erebor ,with ease as well,he was indeed strong,and that was a long journey ,you even offered to walk but nope he would not take it. And after all the dragon stuff ,it was clear to you that he was suffering from dragon sickness ,he made everyone search for the arkenstone except you and Bilbo. You'll never guess what he requested you to do... Well he was on his throne and he was like "y/n ,come here" okay in which you did. "sit on my lap" nope and you walked away ,damn we he so forward now,you missed the shy Thorin.

It got worse and worse and soon enough Thranduil's army had arrived ,aswell as laketown ready to fight to claim what was theirs. Thorin was being a little bitch ,when practially he was a billionare,stopped sitting on bilbo , he isnt Dildo Gaggins ,not a huge stick up your butt.  Frankly you had enough.

"Thor ,if you dont snap out of it , I am going to show all these elves my breasts,you wouldn't allow a young woman to do such a think would you?" okay so blackmail is the only thing you could think of ,Thorin basically ignored you. "OI YOU FLAT ASS KING!" you  had gained the kings attention ,as Thranduil looked up at you ,as did Thorin as you began to lift your shirt up,revealing your belly button then high and high. UNtil two arms gripped your middle lifting you out of view. "No,I will not allow an elven king see my ones breasts,nor an one else" he had growled ,you had lifted your hands up in surrender ,well you tried.

He just told you he was your one and you was like ''okay bro,you do you. " ,well you didn't believe it ,you just thought it was the dragon sickness,you were the only female around ..  

Then of course he tried to throw Bilbo over, which that didn;t happen he escaped ,little rat,he is cute boy though, he did what was right. In which it got worse everyone fighting and such ,Thorin had went back to this throne ,so you had followed him with a better plan than before. As you got close to Thorin ,who watched your every move.

"I've been waiting for so long Now I've finally found someone to stand by me We saw the writing on the wall And we felt this magical fantasy Now with passion in our eyes There's no way we could disguise it secretly So we take each others hand 'Cause we seem to understand the urgency

Just remember You're the one thing I can't get enough of So I'll tell you something This could be love

Because I've had the time of my life No, I never felt this way before Yes I swear it's the truth And I owe it all to you."

you had spoke for Thorin to hear as you close with each step,yeah you just quoted song lyrics ,most famously know from dirty dancing ,but yeaah. THorin had stood up to meet you ,and once you had you had cupped his cheeks ,pressing a quick kiss to his lips,before cheekly pinching his butt making him gasp.

"Thorin it isn't right, we must help them ,please." as you said his actual name he knew he had to ,his bestfriend he had abandon trying to kill, maybe a little more than friend,could be dead.  He had sent you a smile before grabbbing your hand throwing his crown off. "wait you need a shirt like you gave bilbo ,I have feeling you will need it..thor son of odin."

And lucky you did say that and say hold on dude this sounds fishy ,why azog look like a shark off that will smith fish movie,fish tale? Oh its trap kili ,fili come here. THus you saved the Durins lives.

"hey if you are thor that makes your younger brother Loki ,wait he's dead sorry, uh your sister dis ,Loki and Fili and Kili Hela because her dad is LOki-not saying your sister is a man -well she looks like it-oh um sorry ,very handsome though."

[gaylonelydyke]

if it’s not too late, 12 for episodes and ships, and 17!

its never too late! thankyou for the ask 🥰 oo damn this is gonna be a hefty one, just to prepare you this is gonna be long 😅😅😅

spoiler alert for my friends who are finishing up season 2 rn, be careful if you look at my top five episodes, pay attention the the episode numbers, i will put [ ] in bold at the beginning and end of spoilers!

12. Top 5 ships

5. faith x myself because have you seen faith? shes such a babe! spare consensual kiss maam?

4. willow x oz, i dont know if this is an unpopular or not but i feel like if the 90s had been more accepting of term then willow wouldve been bisexual, but like even now tv shows will rarely let characters say that word :( but anyway i love them! theyre both quirky and kinda awkward but its such a sweet relationship and you really see how they go from awkward crushes to an actual deep relationship, oz is one of my favourite characters too what a dude!

3. giles x jenny, mlmxwlw solidarity in this bisexual couple! there is no an ounce of straight between them and i love it, i love their dynamic, i love that giles *respects women* (im staring daggers at xander rn), also the original girlboss x malewife couple askdjaksjhd

2. drusilla x spike, these two!!!!!! once again a bisexual couple with zero straight between them, the vibes are off the charts. sexy vampires, goth x punk love, i just love them man, and their relationship is so interesting to delve into. like theyre vampires, theyre soulless and yet they have a capacity for love, they care deeply for eachother, theyre so tender towards eachother in season 2 in the way they take turns to care for one another, also drusilla picking spike up with one hand made me gay and thats on that

1. willow x tara!!!!! lesbians man lesbians! they have a beautiful relationship, until a certain point wink wink, they feel like a perfect match, willows become more outgoing due to buffy and xander snd having a proper group of friends, so its cool to see her as the more outgoing independant one in the relationship, and tara is such a honey 🥺 the biggest sweetheart in the world what a babe!!!! also like how groundbreaking was their relationship? as a queer couple, they had p much the dame amount of screentime as a aueer relationship today! and willow says the word lesbian so many times and is always making gay jokes which is something shows today are too scared to do, its honestly refreshing which is weird for a show in the 90/00s

12. Top 5 episodes

this is so hard because its such a damn good show so i had to rlly be picky about this but here we go

5. 6x22 ‘grave’- i watched buffy for the first time last year at work coz i worked with one other person just packing shit, and THIS was the episode that made us cry infront of eachother. the scene with willow and xander at the end is one of my all time favourite scenes and like legit we were watching and we starting going like ha.. this is so sad Q_Q and we looked at eachother and we were both crying akdjdjsjdhs its SO GOOD, like this is a friendship ive been so invested in and [seeing xander be able to pull her back from that dark place was so heart wrenching and amazing god its so good]

4. 3x12 ‘helpless’ - im finishing up s2 in my rewatch rn so i havent rewatched this one to double check but i remember loving it man. buffys father daughter relationship with giles is my favourite of the whole show they make my heart ache, so i love that this is an episode that really shows you how dedicated giles is to her, [its the breaking point where he finally disregards the fact that hes a watcher and acts as her father once and for all, its a turning point for their relationship where he is finally embracing the fact that shes like a daughter to him and i just love to see it Q_Q get you a dad who will leave his lifes calling for you]

3. 4x22 ‘restless’ - season 4 is interesting coz it has really good episodes and them some gd awful ones 😂😂 but this one just blew me away, i love a good character study episode and this is THE SHIT! its so weird and creepy but in the most perfect way, its not on the nose its so subtle, it feels like an uncanny valley version of buffy almost, i like that they finished the season first and then took this episode to do something out of the box and different i feel like it lets them fully explore this idea without the pressure of needing plot included. [also the cheese man is iconic. dont however like xander being all nasty with willow and tara but whats new there man]

2. 1x12 ‘The Prophecy Girl’ - for my first watch of buffy i wasnt that into the first season, like i enjoyed it but i didnt think it was anything super special? but this episode changed EVERYTHING for me. up until now buffy had been fun, witty, charming, but not anything new atleast for me, maybe in the 90s it was but right now its your average teen supernatural show. but this episode!!!! the emotion! buffy facing her death, her speech about how shes just 16 and shes scared and she doesnt want to die, that is what i wanna see!! its heartbreaking and it made me cry, and then it gives us the wonderful moment of giles trying to take her place and buffy realising that she has to be the one to do it, man its so good! basically anything with buffy and giles being a duo is gonna make it an automatic yes from me and this is indeed the case for this episode, i just love that the show remembers that shes a child! shes not brave all the time, shes not strong all the time, shes just doing her best and sometimes its overwhelming, 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 i bow to this episode

1. 2x17 ‘passion’ - i know i just sang praises about prophecy girl but THIS EPISODE IS THE SHIT, the best episode full stop. i wont accept any argument. angel is probably my favourite big bad, its so funny to see plain bread, mopey brooding angel become this charismatic, funny, poetic, blood thirsty angelus, hes everything i want in a villain and in this episode he delivers! rip jenny tho love her. i think the tension built around angel is so good, because of his drawings and notes left around, every scene youre worrying like is he here now? are they safe or what? its so tense! and also it is me and im a slag for buffy x giles father daughter moments and this episode fucking delivers! giles discovering jennys dead body is probably one of the best scenes on the show, the dramatic irony is heAVY, we know jenny is dead, we know that these flowers arent from her, but giles is so so happy, and i want to see him happy but you just know somehing horrific is about to happen and damn does it. its a masterpiece! i love jenny and giles so much it is so sad, but also the fact that it gave us that scene makes me almmmoost ok with it? i also love the moment where giles breaks down in buffys arms, hes been there for her and now shes returning the favour and hes accepting it i just 😭😭😭 also on a different note, angels narration of this episode is amazing! it gives us great insight to who he is as “evil angel” and like even though hes awful i was also kind of rooting for him coz hes just such a great villain

sorry this is so long lmao, last question!

17. Which characer do you wish had less of a focus on them in the show?

i dont wanna get yelled at butttttt i dont like the amount of focus on dawn. i think it makes sense for the her first season considering the story arc but that season really does double down its focus onto dawn and buffy and it barely leaves room for anyone else to have a storyline, it keeps the episodes super depressing too its like a constant level of just sadness the whole time because we’re so stuck in THEIR arc, theres no room to balance it out and have a breather, some people might like that its more serious but i really really didnt like, i love episodes like prophecy girl where it is campy and brings the more emotional notes in when the time comes, but dawns whole arc is just constantly depressing the whole time i just hate it, and also just shes not a character i felt i could connect to because of how suddenly shes introduced, so its weird to have her SO focused on in the first half of that season coz we dont know her yet so i feel like the emotional moments dont land the way that they should? basically they shouldve eased us into dawn or introduced her differently and maybe i would like her enough to want the focus on her but i really just dont

adksjakjshd apologies for the essay this is, thanks for the ask!

[cucumbers-and-olives]

Appreciation Overflow Post💛

Or, it’s my birthday, and i’m celebrating 67 amazing followers wtf???

hi, uh so it’s my birthday today, and i really want to do an appreciation post for all for my mutuals, because they have gotten me through so much even if they don’t know it, like

someone close to me going into hospice and then dying

my mental illnesses getting worse (one of my many christmas gifts lol)

sharing private information that for my safety i shouldn’t be sharing (i know this doesn’t really fit but it also does)

and a few other things that i don’t feel comfortable sharing

you guys helped me though so much, and i am amazed that i made it this far. i’m so happy i made it this far, because then i got to meet all of you.

i’m just a teen writing fanfic in my bedroom. (and i will block the creeps.) but you guys bring me so much happiness and i can’t wait to see what this year brings!

so without further ado- here’s me appreciating/maybe roasting/who knows what/simping (nah i’m not gonna simp for any of you) but to/for my mutuals. i apologize if i repeat any complements, there are not enough in the world for all of you

(i’m gonna go from oldest following me to youngest/newest)

@issaxcharlie issa, my very first mutual, i never quite processed that you followed me. i love all of your writing, and you interactions with @writerinlearning are so wholesome and amazing. keep being you issa 💛

@n0wornever missy, where do i start? your daily mantras help me know what day of the week it is, and if it wasn’t for them i would probably make a lot of silly mistakes (like going to the wrong zoom class) missy, you are beautiful 💛

@crybabyddl doll, you are one of my biggest inspirations on this site. dcma was amazing, and you are so talented! i am so happy you decided to follow me. you are amazing 💛

@meangirlsx sam, its so crazy that you follow me. you have thousands of followers, and yet you are following my tiny little blog. thank you. also can i take a second to just apprecate your blog aestetic? keep it up sam 💛

@bright-molina alright, is it bad that when the a majority of the people i follow changed their url to “bright-(last name of a JATP character)” i kinda lost track of who everyone was? nevertheless, bianca you are so amazing, and i am so honored to be one of your mutuals 💛

@txrii tori! you are so kind and lovely. i honestly cannot believe that you followed me, it blows my mind every day. keep creating tori💛

@blind-their-eyes kay, your support on my writing is unparalleled. i love your writing and i love to see your url pop up in my notifs💛

@jaskiers-sweetkiss erin, your writing is insane. the amount of talent you have is just so amazing, and the way your fics are written is even more so. i can’t wait to see what you come up with next! sending love your way 💛

@ssa-cinnamon jemma, im honestly amazed that you still follow me, esp cause ive turned into a JATP blog. you come up with the most amazing fics, and i hope you dont leave, but i undestand if you do. shine bright jemma 💛

@controversial-fandom-things love, go drink water and eat some food if you havent and also take a nap cause you are most def sleep deprived. i love you but go take care of yourself. please 💛

@piratesandswords lyra, where would i be without you? the answer that pops into my mind right now is less depressed, and less heart broken. but that’s the past, and this is now. i dragged you into JATP and i hoe you are enjoying it. thank you for being one of my amazing betas  💛

@calamitykaty katy, before i type anything else, can you and @dream-a-little-bigger-x get together already? you and nele are so sweet together and i will die on this hill. i love you owen fics so so much, and the plot twists that you come up with shock me everytime. be positive katy 💛 

@funsizearsonist doll, where do i start? like lyra, i have no idea where i’d be without you. you help be channel my ideas, and turn them into fics. your support on enemies to lovers is legit unparalled. thank you for your support  💛

@mo-d3ans dear your writing, like all of my mutuals, is legit god tier. i would love to see that hat that you pull your ideas out of and steal it sometime. do what make you happy love 💛

@julieandthepodcasters you all are so amazing. i re-listened to your podcast the other day, and just hearing your voices makes me happy. your podcast is once of the only podcasts that i am able to actually sit down and listen to. amazing work 💛

@softforcal nova, i know you are on hiatus, but if/when you see this, *gives you a big hug* (or if you don’t like that *gives you a high five*) i went back to check out some of your stuff the other day, and it made me a lot more confident to post my own RPF. hope your hiatus is going well 💛

@merceret julie, you are amazing! your writing is lovely, but you are even more so. i can’t believe i get to call you my mutual (also i’m ready for those benny watts fics i got so happy when i saw the coming soon!)💛

and to all of you, my 67 (what???) followers, thank you! i keep seeing that number go up, and it makes me so happy that you guys like my work. i didn’t think i’d ever get that many followers, and if i could tag you all, i would. you guys are the ones that make writing worth it, all your reblogs and messages and asks and notes. keep dreaming friends 💛

also i curled my hair and it didn’t turn out the best but i feel really pretty!