#it’ll be out today hopefully!
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giiiiirllalalala where is part 6
in my google docs untouched since last week bc i’ve been busy w my friends and work and my trips 🧟♀️
#it’ll be out this week dw guys#but also…i am a free bird in the world rn#im supa busy today but hopefully tmr i can edit#and respond to all ur asks hehehe#IVE MISSSED MY FREAKKKS#asks
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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I’ve been mentally struggling really bad these past few weeks and my therapist recommended I get medicated so I called someone and they didn’t answer and haven’t called me back yet. so when I told my therapist about it this morning (mid another breakdown) she was like “well if they don’t call back by x date then call back again and again until they answer so you can be treated” like damn am I tripping that bad 🧍🏽♀️
#like my bad AKSJDKDJD#I have been tripping lately tho ngl I can’t even be mad at her#I hope if they do give me something that it’ll help me be able to get waxes again LOL#I miss it but the anxiety was so shit#anyway I have a headache from having like nine panic attacks today#and I’m about to knock out hopefully 👍🏽#tw: vent#tw: personal#tw: panic attack#—in store chit chat! 🍫
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y’all keep me in your thoughts and keep your fingers crossed that my day today and my shift tonight (it’s almost 2am already wtf) goes significantly better than today did 🥲🤞🏻
#⟡ — kayleigh’s yapping#everything was just absolutely fucked today and especially during my shift at work tonight#things did not improve when i arrived home 🙃#i am exhausted and my entire back is killing me from shoveling one (1) run#i desperately needed to shovel the rest of the runs because of how bad it was snowing#because since i didn’t the morning kennel attendant is going to have to shovel like 3-4ft of snow 😭#but i almost passed out 2x while at work and also my back is fucking killing me because i sprained it ughhh#also i literally didn’t have time 😭 it would have taken me probably 1 1/2 hours to shovel the runs#and i only have 4 hours to do everything including walking the 6 dogs 2x#and cleaning up after 6 groups of puppies and laundry and doggy dishes and and and-#also my boss texted me telling me to get out early tonight because of how bad the weather is#idk i am just feeling absolutely horrible about leaving joey with that much work 😭#it’ll probably still be snowing tomorrow morning too 💔#hopefully it fucking stops tomorrow or at least doesn’t snow as much#ANYWAYS i am going to attempt to go tf to sleep asap
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I’m working tonight but I wanna try sending some asks out before I go!! I’m currently trapped downstairs dog sitting ( again ) so I’mma try giving y’all some Hermione content if peeps wants some rn ✨
#{✦| mobile — out of character |✦}#{✦| I’ve been busy with life these past few days so hopefully after today it’ll finally calm down!!#{✦| on the back end of it w my granddads bungalow and such so#{✦| hopefully we’re in a good spot
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I've always seen posts about how bad it hurts when your kid is heartbroken, and I don't have a kid but l've helped raise my niece for so many years and through so many milestones, always there for the important and the not important stuff and she feels more like my little sister than my niece. She's tough like me and also a teenager so she keeps her emotions to herself and I gotta say her coming into my bedroom earlier crying and defeated about this boy - hurt in a different way because I can’t fix that.
#first loves#I went to work stressed!!!!!!#she texted some updates throughout the day though and they talked and are ok for rn#I’m so glad but also now I’m nervous for her and them because it’ll be so bad#on one hand I know she’s tough and would be ok and it’s ok to let go sometimes#but it’s her and I don’t want her to be sad#or if he sucked overall but he’s actually a really good kid and they’re good together#and they’re never apart and it’s been like a year and a half#so her confusion was so sad#she’s also weird with her emotions like me so I know she’s been going through it the last couple days#today was just the worst of them and I hope tomorrows better#I had mentioned to her to ask him to take a walk on the crusty beach nearby us to talk#and I looked at her location a bit ago and she was there was cute#they both turn 18 next month so it’s time to start growing and dealing with stuff in a different way#I can also legally beat him up if I had to lol#we all like him so it was even confusing to us like get it together brother#I’ll find out more later but hopefully all is well
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i wanna start buying manga n my friend told me it’s cheaper and easier to just get from amazon but i want the full overpriced inflated economy experience so im gonna go to barnes & nobles
#csm manga here i come#yapping#also sorry for not being able to get the gumi fic out today hopefully it’ll be sometime tmrrw!#was occupied w a dinner#n then we put up our ugly christmas tree#i was just thinking (and dreading) my christmas event the whole time
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I just read black is the color of my true loves hair and I am SCREAMING AND FROTHING
I HAVE TO KNOW HOW HE AND MC MET. IT SOUNDS SO CUTE AND WHOLESOME.
Especially how u preluded it......... turning someone who sleeps around into a soft devoted boy is my favorite meal ♡♡♡
THIS IS LITERALLY THE MOST SWEETEST ASK TO WAKE UP TO I’M CRYING THANK YOU FOR READING that fic is my absolute beloved <333
AND AHHHHH DID YOU KNOW THAT I WAS THINKING ABT WRITING THE PREQUEL FIC (HOW THEY MET) YESTERDAY??? are you in my brain anon omfg…
JUST BC OF YOU I’LL BE STARTING ON OUTLINING IT SOON! (hopefully i get inspo on actual writing but i have some of the storyline down!) <333
as a lil treat for You my beloved… i’ll give you a smooch <3 also suguru’s tattoo parlor is called uzumaki 🤭 i may show parts of his time sleeping around but i think by the time they met he had his own tattoo parlor? I’M NOT EVEN SURE ANYMORE I HAVE TO REREAD MY OWN FIC NOW TO MAKE SURE NFNFNFNFNFNF 😭 but yes they ARE both so devoted and soft <333 wholesome sometimes but feral little demons in love the other <333
i love you so much thank you for sending me this <3 what a wonderful thing to wake up to :’) ILYSM :D i’ll get started on it soon just for you! <3
(also dear anon idk if you’ll see this but lmk what stuff you want me to put in the fic as a treat for you! if it works well w the story i’ll see what i can do :D)
(a treat for you anon these texts killed me) ^^^ the way their relationship in “black is the color of my true love’s hair” works btw reader is in grey and suguru is in blue 🤭
#asks#anon#lmk if you want it to just be the meetcute or show when they get into a relationship/maybe even smut? idk yet LOL#this goes for anyone who sees this ask/read the fic 😭#i’ve been in such a writing rut!!!!! hopefully if i outline this fic today/tomorrow it’ll help 😭😭😭#the first one is also how fashion designer reader flirts w curator geto#second one is just all my readers to suguru#both are black is the color!reader JDJDJDJDJDJDJ#anyways. love you anon SMOOCHES!!!!! that fic is my fav thing i have wrote (probs cuz it’s the most fleshed out/first official fic hehe)#i’ll get to outlining today if i can :D i didn’t know if anyone would really want the prequel (i was gonna make it anyways but not yet)#BUT NOW :D SOMEONE WANTS IT!!!!! WAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO#ilysm i’m so giddy this fic and all the tags/comments on that fic really blossomed my heart :’) ilysm again hehe 🩷
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*closes 13 tabs on astrology and greek mythology*
ES Ch.5… is now complete.
#Everything Stays#writing stuff#Seven’s Celestial Commentary#there were 30 tabs in total by the time i was done doing all my research for this chapter but the other 17 weren’t astrology related#they’re full of name definitions and foods and children’s books and FNaF wiki pages#but yes! more time than i’d like and 13k+ words later… the chapter feels ready to go#gotta give it one final editing sweep and draft it up on Ao3 but it’ll be ready in time for the fic’s anniversary!!! which was my goal#exciting news for the few of you who out there that maybe hopefully haven’t given up on this story in spite of yet another long hiatus#(full transparency: this post and the following tags were drafted a few days ago and then i. never posted it.)#***the Preceding tags not the following tags#(so! take this as your official announcement that ES Ch.5 is now live on Ao3! i did it!! i posted it on the anniversary!!!)#(with one entire hour to spare CST! wow look at me go)#(no honestly i’m very disappointed in myself that my time management failed me once again. bc i wanted the chapter to go up at 7pm not 11pm#and i wanted to have the Edit Log and Appearance Reference Sheet posted here already so i could link them.#but it’s okay we live and we learn and one day i’ll learn to start working on things further in advance to give myself more time#and honestly extra stuff aside the chapter would’ve at least gone up at an earlier hour#had the curse of being an Ao3 author not befallen me at 5pm by thrusting a fucking family emergency into my day#like everyone’s okay it’s all fine now but jesus christ what kinda timing. the ONE DAY THAT THE FIC’S ANNIVERSARY FALLS ON#and somehow it ends up involving four police cars :)#but that was not gonna fucking stop me from posting this chapter today. nothing could! i may be unreliable and inconsistent#but i wouldn’t be able to rest knowing that i missed this fucking anniversary#anyways. tempted as i am i Will Not overshare but i’ll reiterate that everything’s fine now! and Ch.5 is up so i’m going to sleep#will re-review the chapter and make any little edits tomorrow that my tired brain didn’t catch tonight. there’s always a few that slip by#okay that’s all from Present Day Seven goodnight i am very tired pls go read Everything Stays i will love you forever and even kiss you#if you want. or we’ll actually maybe don’t read it yet maybe gimme a few days to review it and catch any more edits that need making#***well not we’ll. i hate mobile tags
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I can’t believe I’m actually going on a trip to Japan. And it’ll be my first trip without family. Ah dreams do come true for those who have friends that ask them randomly on a Wednesday afternoon (last week) if they wanna go on a trip with them and then you forgot your passport expired so you went to renew it over the weekend but your photo got rejected so you made your way down to immigration to beg them to expedite your passport with the new photo you submitted after telling them your sob story (not that I was flying off to Japan) and then the officer gave in and approved my passport and then your friend was able to book the flight and that’s how dreams come true.
Brb I’m going to visit the famous satosugu kfc breakup spot.
#text#aidah shut up#my flight is at midnight today#random shit your unemployed friend does in their life#tbh my parents kept asking me to renew my passport ages ago#but I don’t like going on trips with them cause they stress me out#and I always end up crying on trips cause of that#hopefully this will be better#I’ll have fun#I’m going with my childhood bestie#I was her bridesmaid at her wedding#so i sorta know how she is in stressful situations#it’ll work out
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eeJAHAAJHA was having a good day and THEN decided to fucking DROP food on my favourite cream sweater
#it’s white#it’s really soft too#this makes me so sad#I am SO RESTLESS TODAY SHDHSJS sorry#me.#hopefully it comes out#I think it’ll come out#please pray it comes out
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Making some white turkey chili in a little bit and I’m honestly so excited
Bf and I are coming to a time of semi rest before he starts a new (full time!!) job at the start of the year but there’s still a lot of residual stress lingering around and I think we could def use some comfort food
And imho soups/stews/chilis are some of the easiest foods to transition to magic as well, so there’s definitely gonna be some of that in there too (especially because this is my first chance to bust out my giant stew pot since we moved in and there are few things that feel more like making potions to me)
#kitchen witchcraft#hey y’all I’m alive#planning to be posting more (and interacting with other people more) soon with the transition to the new year and everything#but yeah idk#just kinda been in maintenance mode lately#we both have#and I’m trying to move back into ‘living life’ mode without overwhelming myself#anyway I also made shortbread today and I’ve got the chili coming and I think that’s a pretty good way to do it#I know that cooking and baking makes me feel better#especially when I do it with love and attention#but lately I’ve just been too in my head to do it at all really#I do have to cut onions tonight though and I am Extremelh#y#sensitive to the whole crying thing#but it’ll be okay either way#i’m just happy to be here#this is a new(ish) recipe also so hopefully it turns out alright#if it’s any good I might post it idk#food magic#Is like the highest kind of magic to me in a lot of ways#anyway I’ll be quiet now but I’m feeling pretty good#hope y’all are too
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good morning, beans and buds! happy thanksgiving to those who celebrate and happy thursday to those who don’t 💜 please be safe and eat lots of tasty food!!
#i’ll likely lurk here and there and hopefully send out kaiya asks#but ofc it’s gonna be a busy day :’ )#part of me doesn’t wanna do this today simply bc i get nervous around my extended family bc i’m what you call socially anxious :) asdfh#but it’ll be fine and nice in the end i know#sending y’all love and wishing you a very lovely and safe day 💜#get ready to ramble | ooc
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Sad :(
#dndads oc#dungeons and daddies oc#vent art#sketti draws#real talk I’m getting blood drawn tomorrow and I’m scared lmao#I cried for so fucking long last year and it took them so long to get anything out of me#I drank exclusively water today so hopefully it’ll go better#and I’m bringing a stuffed animal
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OW
#well that’s enough working out for me today#was doing shoulder presses and tweaked my shoulder#luckily my shoulder isn’t too injured#i can still move it around#but it hurts like heck#guess I had it way too heavy 😔#and the weight wasn’t too bad but I guess it was too heavy for me too control#so my shoulder just went bnbjrdnknk#ow#hopefully if I’m nice to it it’ll get better#but uh…#yeah just gonna stick to the lighter weights#and I thought i was getting stronger too :(
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going to start on the name explanation posts! i think Twilightclan is going to be first because I had a lot of fun naming them haha
#doing the name explanations for either clan will be fun anyways#i did try to put a lot of thought into them!#hopefully it’ll be out later today!
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