#that has to be the angriest hes made me

[gifti3]

remembered the asmo cockblock scene once again

[orcelito]

oh,,,,

Brad referred to Wolfwood as Vash's "partner"

Oh.

[plusfuckingultra]

Now,

How.

How to address her.

A different kind of ache,

Of hurt.

The kind that I hate,

But thrive off of.

The kind I'm determined to move past,

Yet can't seem to rise above.

I smell her in the laundry sometimes,

In cheap dish soap.

I see her in the shows I watch,

And the anxiety they invoke.

It makes me weak.

You made me weak.

It makes me sick.

It made me sick.

You.

Make me sick.

[kisses4reid]

criminally hot | ·˚ ༘ spencer reid ,,

summary - you get wrongfully accused by a sheriff, and it isn’t you who’s angriest. it’s your boyfriend who has to expose your relationship in order to clear you.

genre - spencer x bau!fem!reader, fluff, slight angst if u squint, angry reid x calm reader

wc - 1.2k

warnings - reader uses she/her pronouns, handcuffs, violence, a weird white man i know id be fucking scared as well, oh swearing as well.

a/n - i love u you’re so awkward i am doing so well bc of ur request, keep requesting things your brain is crazy. ummm anyways this is my first time writing this kinda thing omg how exciting okay start reading it wtf you still doing here?

request - ( from @babyoureahauntedhouse ) omg hii!!! :3 this is my first time requesting, so please excuse the awkwardness 😭😭😭😭 first of all, how are you????? i hope you’re doing amazing!!! absolutely no pressure, but can you do one where reader gets falsely arrested (not a huge thing, maybe in a police station at a small town or something) and spencer absolutely **loses** his shit at how she’s being treated????? like, she’s freezing and the sheriff or somethjng keeps pushing her and then he just bursts into the interrogation room and uncuffs her and it’s just very fluffy???? thank you!

Emily handed you your coffee with a smile, receiving a small thank you in return. It was warm in your hands and created a comforting contrast to the cool chill of the police precinct you were set up in.

Things were going well given that you’d only been in the small town for half a day. The team debriefed on the plane, but Aaron had been on the phone with the leading detective for at least an hour now asking him where he was.

Emily headed off to the restrooms when a slender hand made its way to your waist. You turned and felt your cheeks heat, knowing exactly who is was.

“Hi Spencer.”

“Hi Y/n.” His eyes held sweetness in the chocolate swirls, and you felt like a kid who had been given candy. Spencer and you had been dating for a few months, but somehow in a team of profilers you both kept things under wraps, even with Spencer’s clumsy touches and your lingering stares. “I wish we were home,” he whispered.

You glanced around for anyone who could witness your interaction and get suspicious, but you were mostly alone other than Hotch and some officers who were weirdly taking a lot of attention to you.

“Yeah me too. I’m feeling oddly popular and not in the good way.”

Before you could talk more or offer him a sip of your coffee (even if you know he doesn’t like it), Aaron calls his name and the slim tall boy scurries away with a straight face.

You turn to find something to do. To reread a case, to help someone fill out papers, to talk to Morgan or Garcia. You would’ve opted to huddling in your cardigan if a tall man didn’t interrupt.

“Y/n L/n?” He asked in monotone. His arms were at his sides, one hovering above a pair of cuffs that hung from his police belt. Furrowing your eyebrows you answered,

“Yes? What’s wrong?”

“You’re under arrest for the robberies of…”

His voice pounded into the background of your head, thoughts attacking your eyes through a sudden headache as the words registered before you could help it. The room was silent except for the man’s voice, yet all you could hear was the furrow of eyebrows and quick approach of your boss, Aaron Hotchner.

“What’s going on here?”

“Your agent has been seen…”

You stood still as another officer came behind you and forced handcuffs onto your arms, gripping your wrists with unnecessary force that would surely leave bruises. You winced and looked between your boss and the officer, and then at Spencer, who was being pulled back by Morgan. He yelled your name in worry, witnessing the hardened grips on your body and rough pushing you were being subject to. Your coffee splattered on the ground, staining your white shoes.

There was only mumbles and white noise, as your eyes met with Spencer’s. The large officer behind you kicked your leg to get you moving, the shock glueing your shoes to the rubbery floor. And you almost didn’t even notice the hand on the back of your neck pushing you towards a dark room with a desk and two chairs.

You were so familiar with these rooms and yet it felt so different.

Of course, you didn’t actually do anything. And of course you attempt to clear that up to the officers who are slamming their hands on the table and screaming as much as they could, in a poor attempt to intimidate you.

Aaron was in the corner with a scolding face and hard hand to his chin, observing the situation with an intensity you barely ever see.

“Last month, you were seen at one of the houses that got robbed over night. You left a few days later, after also being seen at two of the other houses-“

“So she was seen at three of the ten houses robbed and you arrest her?” Aaron spoke up, bringing the men’s attention to your boss instead of you. You took the opportunity to look outside of the window.

Though it wasn’t clear, you could make out the outline of a tall boy you wished would just break into the room and save you.

And he did.

“Your evidence is illogical and childish. She’s an FBI agent for gods sake-“

“Anybody can be a suspect Agent Hotchner, even federal agents.” The tall one replied with a stubborn mumbled.

Suddenly, the door was slammed open and you were met with a disheveled Spencer panting with a red and severe face. He didn’t even bother looking at you before he starting schooling the men in blue, who at that point were glaring at him and attempting to look more intimidating than they actually were.

“I’ve read your files on this case and nothing links to Y/n L/n, not one-“

“There’s no way you read our-“

“I can read more in a minute than you can in a day, dickhead. Y/n was meeting old school friends when she was in town, we went to the Diner Inn afterwards and we met with her parents who have receipts for the meals because they’re-“ he turned his glance at you,” “sorry Y/n- they’re hoarders. You have nothing against her other than some positively reported visits and some photos of her hugging the house owners.” Spencer had slowly pinned the officers to the opposite wall unconsciously. It was hot. “I was there, I’m her receipt. And like her parents, she loves keeping those. So if you want to insist she’s your culprit, go for it. But your going against a man with eidetic memory and a lot of evidence.”

And while he was logical and correct, he was also a little too truthful.

The officers blinked in fear. Spencer definitely didn’t seem the type to yell or swear, so this clear, concise and undermining approach to the situation was somehow even scarier.

“Spencer,” you began, “thank you.”

He looked at you, his expression softening into empathy and care, “Of course.” His hands found a key in his back pocket as he approached you, starting to promptly uncuff you.

As Aaron continued to speak with the officers of their major mistake, Spencer took you outside of the room and into a private office. Your heart was racing, but it seemed Spencer was more stressed than you. He paced as you leaned onto the front of a wooden desk, hands over your chest as your eyes trailed Spencer.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I should’ve reacted faster, then you wouldn’t have been..” He stopped closely in front of you, his breath hot on yours as his gaze scoured over your body for injuries or bruises. “Are you okay?”

You smile calmly, “I’m fine. My leg hurts, and I think my wrists will be bruised, but I’m fine.”

He took your hands and rubbed his thumbs on your wrists carefully, causing butterflies to explode in your stomach.

“Thank you Spencer.” Your eyes dance with each others. “You were really hot. Maybe I need to get arrested more often.” You joke with a lift to your voice and a smirk, causing him to look down with a smile and shake his head.

“If being angry makes me hot maybe you should reevaluate what you-“

Your lips found his, you hand going to his bicep and his going to the back of your neck, before a clearing of the throat took you both out of your trances. It was Hotch.

“I’ve got some paperwork you both need to sign. About the arrest and,” his hand waved between you two, “this.”

Morgan stood behind Aaron with a smirk, leaving quickly to go tell Garcia that she had lost their bet.

taglist: @jeffswh0re @reap3erslov3 @candyd1es

[feathered-serpents]

The angriest the live action Avatar show has made me is Pakku telling Katara women can’t fight and Aang… agreeing with him?????

In the animated show Pakku said Katara can’t fight and Aang was like “well Pakku’s fucking stupid” and taught Katara in secret. Never ONCE did Aang doubt Katara’s skills but here he goes “Nah don’t fight I can’t lose you” and it’s making me see RED

[atimesfeeler]

A lot of people, I think, were surprised at how angry and mean Logan was in Deadpool and Wolverine. I think we see him being like this in Logan 2017 but in the rest of his movies he’s much more tame.

Of course. He’s finding family, he’s finding love, a place that accepts him for who he is. He has a purpose, a people. Of course he’s rough around the edges, but he’s softening and learning to open up and let himself care for other people. He still has his rage, his stubbornness, his don’t care attitude, but the force of the X-Men and Charles wearing down his defenses sorta mellows him out. And then when he leaves the X-Men Mariko and Yukio bring out his heroism and loyalty again.

In Logan, he’s the angriest and meanest because his lost literally everyone. (I’m not 100% sure but I think it was set after DOFP so it was right after he got everyone back that he lost them again. He’s lived through losing them all TWICE, once to the apocalypse and then second to one of his best friends because of a seizure) and in the brief time that Laura interacts with him, she is able to bring out some of his better qualities, but… like she says, Logan is dying and he wants to die. He’s mean and he’s trying his best, but he’s relieved when he doesn’t have to try anymore.

In the Deadpool and Wolverine, Worst Wolverine is most like Logan 2017, not the past version people got used to. And he doesn’t have Charles or Laura. He’s all alone for so long. This Wolverine lost everyone and he blames himself. He doesn’t know Wade and he doesn’t give a fuck about him. He lost his humanity back at the mansion when everyone he let himself care about was slaughtered. Not only does he not care, he’s probably so guarded that he won’t let himself care about anyone after what happened to the x-men. Not to mention that everyone hates him, no one gives him a chance, he’s hated by both his own kind and humans. He wouldn’t be able to find work completely vilified. He wouldn’t be able to stay sober and he probably spent what money he did have on drinking because the weight of everything was too much. He probably has to move constantly to find bars that will serve him or to avoid people trying to capture him.

So he’s kidnapped, told he’s the worst version of himself in the entire multiverse, and he’s sober for the first time in a decade. Withdraw and Wade Wilson does actually sound like a nightmare, and in the void of all places.

At first I was surprised at the amount of aggression and violence he displayed, but then I got it at this scene:

And then I was surprised at how mellowed out Logan was at the end of it

But then it made sense. Wade and his little adventure basically fast tracked rehab, therapy, and recovery and then gave him a new chance, a home, and a friend who is so loyal that he’d tear apart the universes for his people.

This is why Logan being less angry and violent after the void is so important to me. Like, he’s still grumpy and mean and traumatized, and obviously Wade didn’t fix everything, but he helped so much. Logan definitely cares about Wade and wouldn’t just see him as the most annoying person he’s ever met anymore. Not after what he did for him.

It’s a delicate balance between not erasing Logan’s inherent and learned rage and anger, but also not whittling him down to only angry violent and mean around Wade.

[storiesfromafan]

The Prank - Mattheo x Reader

A/N: I bring you all a Mattheo Riddle one-shot! I've been struggling with writing insporation for all my current works 😭 So please bear with me 💜

Prompt: “I’m going to break your arm like you broke my heart”

Pranks. A Slytherin's dangerous and destructive pass time. About 98% of the Slytherin house loved a good prank. The more damage – physical or emotional – the better. And the three best know Slytherin pranksters are Theodore Knott, Lorenzo Berkshire and Mattheo Riddle. They salivated it, and relished in it. Always trying to out do the others last prank.

Many have fallen subject to them, and a lot more in the cross-hairs too. Most Professors hate to have them in their classes because of their ways. And other Professors gave them detention before they’ve done anything. Many students even stayed clear. You being one of the few exceptions. For you were entangled with Mattheo, your loving boyfriend.

You put up with your boyfriends past time. You never stopped him, nor do you condone it. He was his own person, has his own mind. There was one time a prank dragged you in was when it involved a group, one of them being a good friend of yours. After that happened, you out your foot down. And so the three made sure to be more thoughtful, thinking it over before doing it.

It was early evening, just before dinner time. In the Slytherin common room, by one of the fires, was Theodore, Lorenzo and Mattheo. All three lounging around and talking shit. Shit about other students and Professors. It was all calm and leisurely.

That was until the common room door opened. And the loud stomps across into the landing atop the stairs leading down into the belly of the beast were heard. With the silence, those closest to the stairs heard a loud sigh or huff. Following it was the loudest, angriest voice. The pain in their voice sent chills down all to hears spines.

“MATTHEO RIDDLE!!” you yelled. Uncaring of how loud you were, or of your tone. You were furious, and hurt. Wanting blood.

Mattheo – who had been lounging on a couch – jumped, scurrying to sit up. He turned to look behind the chair, and to the stairs. Stomping down those stairs you finally came into view. The way you stood tall, face red and looked like you had been crying. That got Mattheo's attention. He fumbled to get up and move towards you. When you saw him you moved to him, meeting half way.

The fire in your eyes, the anger he could see clear as day. “I’m going to break your arm like you broke my heart!” your voice cold, and deadly.

Mattheo's blood ran cold. “H-huh?”

Your teary gaze darkened, drawing in on the boy before you. “You heard me!”

“L-love...” Mattheo sputtered. “I-I don’t know what’s going one?!”

You lifted a shaking fist, held tightly in it was parchment. You took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. Then you threw the crumpled parchment at Mattheo. He fumbled but caught it. Looking to the parchment and then back to you, confused on what it meant.

“How could you!” You half whined, half whimpered. “I thought I meant so much to you!?”

“You do love” Mattheo replied quickly.

“Then why? Why break up with me over parchment!?” you finally broke, voice dripping in anguish as the tears finally fell.

Mattheo's eyes widened. “WHAT!? I didn’t love!!”

He continued to tell you how he hadn’t sent you a parchment message, nor did he break up with you. All the while you cried and argued with him. Back and forth you went. Mattheo trying to grab a hold of you, but you pushed his hands away. One thing led to another, and to the surprise of Mattheo and everyone in the common room, you slapped him.

You looked from Mattheo, to your hand. Shocked you had slapped the gorgeous boy. Shakily you took a breath and released it. Then you turned, talking off to your room. Tears still streaming down your face. Mattheo stood there shocked, cheek hurting from your actions.

He stepped forward, “(Y/N)!” Mattheo called, voice breaking and laced with confusion and hurt.

Then he heard it. A snigger. Which turned into a full on laugh. Turning on his heel, Mattheo was greeted to the sight of Theodore laughing like a lunatic. Lorenzo looking to the laughing male like he had a second head.

“O-oh man” breathed Theodore holding his sides. “T-the look on your face!”

Confusion marred Mattheo's face. His mind going over everything, eventually putting the dots together. Your hurt and anger, the parchment and Theodore’s delight and laughter. Now he got it. His friend pranking him.

“You!” Mattheo growled. “W-why!? Why’d you do it!?”

Theodore’s laughter died down, a shit eating grin upon his lips. “Paybacks a bitch, right?”

Ah yes. Just a week ago Mattheo had pranked Theodore. It was when he was chatting up a girl he’d been eyeing for a while now, a girl he contemplated turning his back on his playboy ways for. But in came Mattheo. Causing havoc with his prank, that lead to that girl getting angry with his friend, and not talking to him since. Along with detention for the disruption that came to the classroom.

Mattheo saw red. Ready to lung at his friend but Lorenzo got to him first. Holding him back, talking to him. Somehow he got through to Mattheo, who took off towards the dorms. He had to get you to talk to him.

Lorenzo turned back to the pleased Theodore. “Really? You couldn’t have just did something that would get him detention?”

Theodore thought about it. “Nuh. Plus, he’s no fun since he’s been tied down".

Lorenzo rolled his eyes before walking away from his friend. He wasn’t going to support this. Not one bit. “Just remember" he threw over his shoulder. “Mattheo won’t take this lightly...”

That sobered up Theodor. “S-shit...”

[winterspellsfrozenkit]

Theory as to Why Disney's Hades Wanted to Overthrow Zeus

So, I was thinking recently about why Hades tries to overthrow Zeus in Disney's Hercules. The reason that the Muses give us is because he "thought the dead were dull and uncouth", but that feels super flimsy to me as an excuse. Especially when we see Hades say this:

He points out the scheme's been around for 18 years, which means that Hades had set up the hostile takeover scheme right around Hercules's birth, but he hadn't checked with the Fates until the day Zeus had that party for Hercules on Olympus. How do we know he hadn't checked before? Clotho tells Lachesis they are not supposed to tell anyone the future. I doubt she'd argue if they'd already told Hades the future of his plans before.

Also, while Hades may not like his job, his job makes him the most powerful king because EVERYONE will eventually become his subject. Why would he even want to rule over the living if he thinks the dead are so dull and uncouth? It's not like being dead robs you of intelligence or good manners... So why then would he want to rule Olympus and overthrow Zeus?

Well, I noticed this in the song "One Last Hope".

The song has Fall and Winter. If you've studied Greek Mythology, you know that means Hades is married because Fall and Winter happen in Greek mythology when Persephone is in the Underworld. We actually do see Persephone and Demeter in several shots on Olympus in the movie.

On top of that, Hades says this when he's offering his deal to Hercules.

I think that Hades decided to overthrow Zeus because he was angry that Persephone had to spend Spring and Summer with her mother, rather than being his wife and Queen all the time AND on top of that, he had to take the rap for Demeter causing a mass famine over her daughter's marriage to him. Here's why I think this.

When Hades shows up, he tries to break the ice with a joke, but we see the party glaring at him. You know who we don't see? Demeter, who by all accounts, SHOULD be there and the ANGRIEST with him. After all, in Greek myth, he kidnapped his wife. But she's noticeably ABSENT.

The ones glaring at him are Ares, Athena, Poseidon, Dionysus/Bacchus, and Aphrodite. All people who were likely massively affected by the massive famine Demeter put in place. Wars and tactical strategies don't go well if the people are starving to the point of death, repopulation drops if there's not enough food, if there's no grapes growing, there's no wine or drunken madness, and besides the ocean, Poseidon is also over horses and many horses likely died due to lack of plant growth. But they don't seem to be mad at Demeter, given Poseidon is chatting with her earlier in the scene.

Instead, all the ire seems to be directed at Hades, who, as far as we know, hasn't DONE anything to warrant that reaction. All he did was tell a poor joke, but everyone is looking at him like he caused a major problem by being there. Hades brushes their reactions off and starts trying to play nice and then Zeus grabs him and says, "You finally made it!" And notice Hades's face here:

Hades looks so uncomfortable with Zeus trying to make small talk, but he's trying to hide his negative emotions. He's forcing a smile and when Zeus asks how things are in the Underworld, he responds with this:

Hades, then focuses on Hercules, and doesn't seem to have a problem with him until he crushes his finger, but the point where Hades drops the mask and shows his ire is when Zeus says "Join the celebration!"

He says, "Hey! Love to, babe, but unlike you gods lounging about up here, I, regrettably, have a full-time gig, that you, by the way, so charitably bestowed on me, Zeus. So, can't. Love to but can't." He then quickly leaves.

I hear this as Hades subtly reminding Zeus that he has a taxing job that he can't be away from too long, especially now that the one person who SHOULD, by all means, be there to help him with the load of running the Underworld, can't be there half the time to help him get the excess work under control. Persephone, unlike the rest of the wives in the Greek Pantheon, has EQUAL power to Hades, which means that if she'd been able to be with him all year, they'd likely get the work done faster and could do things other than work.

Zeus makes a joke about Hades working himself to death, a few of the Olympians laugh, but again, Demeter and Persephone are missing from the scene.

Hades, however, is very upset at the joke at his expense and he mutters, "If only... If only..." when Zeus says he kills himself. Back in the Underworld, Hades says this about Zeus.

Now, we just saw Zeus be super welcoming to Hades at the party for Hercules. Why on Earth would Hades call Zeus "Mr. High and Mighty, Mr. "Hey, you, get off of my cloud"? I think Zeus behaved this way when Hades argued against the summons for Persephone to return to Demeter. Persephone is the Queen of the Underworld, and in myth, the reason Hades kidnapped Persephone? Her father, ZEUS, told him to do so.

Zeus is the reason for Persephone's kidnapping and marriage. Hades was following the law of Ancient Greece at the time. Ancient Greece was cool about many things, but women's rights? Not one of them. Greek men, if they wanted to get married, arranged it with the father of the bride. The mother and the bride herself had little to no say. So, in actuality, the one at fault when Demeter caused a mass famine? Zeus. The famine was actually targeting Zeus, because if all humans died, he'd get no more sacrifices, and all the dead become Hades and Persephone's subjects.

So I think that Zeus realized how ENRAGED Demeter was and made Persephone return to her mother, but Hades tried to argue against it because Persephone was his partner is a very demanding job and he'd gotten Zeus's permission, but Zeus used his title as King to force Hades to comply. As in, "I already decided, so we're done talking about it. Now, leave and go home." That would explain also why Hades says this:

Another thing I see as a hint to Hades attempting to overthrow Zeus because he's mad about the Persephone situation? When he's in the mortal world, Hades only destroys a few things. One is the statue of lovers that he uses as a throne when he's questioning Meg about Hercules's weakness, another is the vases of Hercules because he's mad that he can't beat him, but the other two? Plant life.

In the Homeric Hymn to Demeter, the main source for the Hades and Persephone myth, it's Demeter who brings back spring and plant life because she's happy about Persephone's return to her, not Persephone herself making the plants grow. While this could just be Hades taking out his frustrations on his surroundings, I find it interesting that he DECIMATES a grove of trees because Hercules is alive and could muck up his plans and that he burns a flower when he figures Hercules's weakness, which are often a sign of Springtime. It's almost like he's taking out his anger at Demeter's famine costing him his wife by destroying the plant life that Demeter creates as some small way to vent his frustrations. And speaking of Hercules's weakness, once Meg points out that monsters haven't been working against Hercules, Hades says this:

Now, given by this point, we KNOW due to "One Last Hope" that Hades and Persephone are married. I think this played into him figuring out to use Meg against Hercules. On top of that, Hades says this when Hercules is worried about innocent people getting hurt because of the deal:

I think Hades might have the same mentality about overthrowing Olympus. Having his wife back is more important to him than the ire of the rest of Olympus. Having his wife back is more important than keeping the Titans locked away. Having his wife back is worth being hated by all of Greece. Given the short time frame of his plot and all these other little things in his behavior, I really do think the reason that Hades decided to overthrow Zeus was so he could reverse the order for Persephone to spend half the year with him and half the year with her mother. But that's just my little theory/headcanon.

TLDR: I think the reason Hades tried to overthrow Zeus in Disney's Hercules was because he was angry he could only be with Persephone half the year.

[downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles]

Raphael's First Love—A Talk With Splinter

part of the First Love Talk miniseries!

sfw 💫 word count: 1.2k

The old metronome in the corner of the dojo ticked on incessantly as Raphael sat in indignant silence with Master Splinter. After four outbursts, a fight with Leonardo, and days of distance, Splinter had put his foot down and called his son in for a talk about his behavior. Beneath his stern exterior, Splinter was concerned.

"Raphael, explain yourself," Splinter demanded with a calm voice, treading a thin line with his angriest son's temper. Not out of fear—Splinter could and would easily put the giant back in his place even as an old rat. That was no issue. "What has gotten into you?"

Weeks of this crap, that's what, thought Raph bitterly. Weeks of feeling sick to his stomach every time she was around, trying to put up a good front and getting embarrassed by himself or his brothers; he felt stupid. Weak. Utterly at her mercy, and she didn't even know. Good. I don't want her to. Splinter gave him a skeptical eye. He shifted his position multiple times, uncomfortable and trying to look casual. Grunted dismissively. But he knew his father was not going to take that for an answer. He let out a scoff, dodging eye contact, "Things gettin' under my shell like usual."

"But not like usual, because you are worse-off than usual," observed Splinter.

His mental health was actively declining the more he deliberated on the pang in his heart he felt when he thought about her. It made his guts twist to think about why he was so angry, why he was even afraid of her, deep down. The last thing he ever wanted to admit to himself, let alone Splinter, was that he cared what she thought. A lot.

Too much.

All of his brothers seemed so confident, and yet he was self-conscious. Why? Why do I gotta be like this?!

Raph shrugged. "You know me, master. Comes with the whole package, whether all of you like it or not." He was already moody, prone to rapidly-changing emotions. That was never a guess, it was a given. "Look, I'll do us a favor and just end this convo now—I ain't in a bad way. And Leo needs to stay in his lane comin' to you over a little fight." He started to get up, leave the terrible silence of the training room and that god awful ticking metronome. Splinter jabbed his cane into his plastron, knocking him back, and then brought it down hard on his foot. Raph yelped and stumbled down, quickly reassuring his seated position.

"Enough!" Splinter barked. "Sit, Raphael."

Splinter had his full attention, now. The top of his foot ached dully.

Raph was seething on the inside. On the outside, he slumped over his knee, hiding his face behind his thick forearm.

This was all her fault. If she hadn't fallen—literally crashed—into their lives, he would be fine. There would be no question about what to do or what he was feeling. It was always them and the shadows—no people, no complications. He always knew that would never be accepted despite craving it with every ounce of his being. Why change that? Why suddenly bring more emotions into the mix? Before her, it was all straightforward. Now, he worried if he was too brutish, too much of a freak, if his normal habits weren't so "normal". He didn't want to feel like he was under one of Donnie's microscopes, with her eye looking through the lens.

Splinter furrowed his gray brow at him, resting his hands on his cane. "This is about your self esteem, is it not?" he questioned carefully. Prying.

"You couldn't know anything about it!" Raph shouted back. He swung his hand as he spoke. "I'm a six-foot turtle, there's no changing it! No changing me!"

Sighing a light breath, Splinter closed his eyes. This was going to be the challenge for the day. No day was without its challenges. He recentered his thoughts, looking for a different angle. He wanted to speak his son's language.

"Correct, there is no changing you."

Raph stuttered on his response as his face fell almost imperceptibly, but Splinter knew every minute expression of his kids.

If she knows, I'm done for. Raphael's mind was swirling and his thoughts were reaching dead-ends left and right. There was no changing. No hope? He couldn't tell. He'd given up before he'd even tried. Because like his weapon, he was defensive, and did everything possible to protect what? Himself. His big, soft heart in there that needed some serious attention. The thought of telling her made him want to hurl. But like a moth to a flame, he kept coming right back to her, torturing himself with "what-if's" and doubts he had all the while.

"What do you want me to say, Splinter?" Raph spat with a low voice.

"I want you to be honest with yourself," Splinter replied.

Raph poked the tip of his sai into the mat before him, digging it into the material. "Okay, I'll bite," he said, "what do you think I'm lyin' about? Huh?"

He already knew the answer to that. It was everything; he rejected the shyness he felt inexplicably when she was around. He felt dirty next to her, or if he accidentally touched her, it was an ordeal. Because he was a mutant and she was a human. Out of all of her pick of people, he never could have been at the top of her list. He doubted he even made the list as an option.

Knowing Raphael was lying then, too, Splinter simply lifted his chin at him, and waited for the real answer.

The silence was getting to be too much for him. He jammed his sai into the mat, stabbing through it. But in his face was sadness, not anger. He finally admitted, "I just want to be accepted. Even just by her." Fiddling with his sai, he averted his eyes to stare at something random next to him, adding quietly, a little bashfully: "Aaaaaand sometimes I think Leo has a…better shot than me. That's why we were fightin'. I went nuts because he was gettin' along with her and it made me feel some stuff I don't want to feel."

There it was, thought Splinter, bingo. "Well, you are certainly not the first young man to make a fool of yourself over a girl."

"Master, I don't even know what to do with myself. How am I ever gonna know what to do with her?"

"The first step would be to stop ruining my mat," Splinter said as he bonked his son's head with the end of his cane, irked that he was creating a hole in it with his sai. Raph quickly tucked his weapon away. He muttered an apology. Splinter cleared his throat before continuing. "The second step would be for you to face your fears, Raphael. Accept them, conquer them. You are as you are—what humanity thinks of you is not your concern. You know who you are. I would like to think that [y/n] does as well."

Raph shifted, uncomfortable. "Yeah, I don't think she does. I don't really…"

She was all too kind, beautiful, and smart; a deadly, terrifying combination, in his predicament. He'd been plagued with dreams of being with her night after night. Not worrying about a single thing until the moment he woke up—he was stressing every morning. His anxieties always seemed to curse him cropping up in his dreams; not even in sleep could he escape her sphere of influence.

Placing a gentle hand on Raphael's shoulder, Splinter looked down at him, "Then, you show her who you really are. Raphael."

[hrizantemy]

I know this might be an unpopular opinion, but I really don’t want Nesta and Cassian to have kids. In fact, if it ever happens, I’m going to lose it. Cassian has consistently shown that he doesn’t truly stick up for Nesta when it matters, and I find it baffling when people try to claim otherwise. Sure, he might defend her over small, inconsequential things, but when it comes to the moments that really matter—the ones where her safety, dignity, or even her life is on the line—he’s either silent or outright against her.

For example, when Nesta was threatened with execution by his High Lord, where was Cassian’s outrage on her behalf? Somehow, in that moment, he managed to be the angriest person in the room—at Nesta. Not at the people threatening his mate with death, but at Nesta herself. That kind of reaction tells me everything I need to know about how little he actually supports her. And what’s even worse is that he never sticks up for her in a way she can actually see. He might defend her when she’s not present, but that doesn’t mean much when he can’t or won’t do it in front of her. To me, it’s as if he’s ashamed to stand by her publicly.

Nesta deserves a partner who will defend her fiercely and without hesitation, someone who understands the depth of her trauma and her worth. Cassian, on the other hand, consistently diminishes her struggles and turns the blame on her for his own frustrations. So, the idea of them having children—bringing innocent lives into a relationship where there’s already such a clear imbalance of respect and support—feels completely wrong to me. It’s just another way Nesta would likely be set up to carry the emotional weight alone, while Cassian continues to falter in being the kind of partner she truly deserves.

Let’s say Nesta and Cassian have kids—something I’m already against for a multitude of reasons—but let’s go there for a moment. People love to talk about how Cassian owes so much to Rhysand, how his loyalty to Rhysand is unwavering and absolute. That’s fine if it’s just about Cassian himself, but when you bring children into the mix, it becomes a lot messier. Does that same blind loyalty extend to his own child? What happens when the Inner Circle inevitably starts dictating the path Cassian and Nesta’s child should take? If Rhysand or the IC decide that their son or daughter should do something dangerous—be it for Velaris, Nyx, or the Night Court as a whole—is Cassian going to push his child into that role just because Rhysand says so?

We’ve seen time and time again that Cassian doesn’t stand up to Rhysand, not even when it’s about Nesta. So why should we believe he’d suddenly draw the line for his child? If Nesta is against putting their child in danger—and she absolutely would be—is Cassian going to stand with her, or will he just side with the IC again, telling himself it’s for “the greater good”? And what if Rhysand, in his High Lord arrogance, decides to berate or humiliate Cassian and Nesta’s child the way he’s humiliated others in the past? Is Cassian going to step in and tell Rhysand to back off? Or is he going to stay silent out of “loyalty” to his High Lord? We’ve already seen Cassian fail to defend Nesta when Rhysand and the IC crossed lines with her—what’s to say he wouldn’t fail his own child in the same way?

And here’s an even darker thought: what happens if Cassian is put in a position where he has to choose between his own child and Nyx? Because let’s be honest, the IC has made it very clear that Nyx is their priority. If there’s ever a scenario where Nyx’s safety or future conflicts with that of Cassian and Nesta’s child, can we really trust Cassian to pick his own blood? Or is he going to fall back on that same unshakable loyalty to Rhysand and Velaris, even if it means sacrificing his child’s well-being, dreams, or even life?

These are not small questions. They’re the kind of conflicts that arise when someone’s loyalty to others outweighs their loyalty to their own family. Cassian has already shown us where his priorities lie when he didn’t stick up for Nesta during her most vulnerable moments. If he couldn’t do it for her, why would we believe he’d do it for their child? The idea of them having kids only highlights how deeply flawed and imbalanced their relationship is—and how dangerous that could become for anyone who relies on Cassian to choose them over the IC.

I know people are going to say I can’t bring up “what if” scenarios when it comes to Nesta and Cassian having children, but I absolutely can and will. These are exactly the kinds of things you need to think about when you’re considering children. Having kids isn’t just about how cute they’d be or the idea of expanding a family—it’s about responsibility, protection, and making decisions that prioritize their well-being, no matter how hard those decisions might be. And when we look at Cassian’s track record, there are glaring issues that need to be addressed.

What if scenarios aren’t just hypothetical—they’re preparation. They’re about asking tough questions: Will this person defend their child in every situation? Will they be able to separate loyalty to others from loyalty to their family? Can they provide a safe and supportive environment for their child to grow up in? With Cassian, I have serious doubts. People like to argue that Cassian would be a great father, but his inability to consistently stick up for Nesta against the Inner Circle shows a troubling pattern. If he can’t stand up for his mate when Rhysand or others overstep, how can I trust him to do it for his child? It’s not outlandish to imagine situations where his loyalty to Rhysand or the Night Court would conflict with what’s best for his family—because that’s already happened with Nesta.

Parenting isn’t just about love; it’s about action. It’s about hard decisions and protecting your child, even when it means standing up to people you care about or respect.

People like to dismiss these concerns, but they’re real. They’re exactly the kinds of things that can happen in a world where power, politics, and loyalty are always in play. These aren’t just random, baseless hypotheticals—they’re extensions of behaviors we’ve already seen in Cassian. If he couldn’t stand up for Nesta, who has been humiliated, threatened, and dragged down by his so-called family, how can I believe he’d do better for his child? These are the kinds of questions that must be considered, because having a child isn’t about what works in the moment—it’s about building a future where that child feels safe, protected, and prioritized above all else. If Cassian can’t consistently prove that he’s capable of doing that, then these “what if” scenarios aren’t just speculation—they’re warnings.

I also don’t think Nesta is ready to have children—and honestly, I don’t think she will be for a very long time, if ever. It’s not a criticism of her as a person, but rather a recognition of where she is emotionally and mentally. Nesta has been through so much trauma, and while she’s made strides in healing, that doesn’t mean she’s in a place where she’s ready to take on the responsibility of motherhood. And the truth is, not everyone needs to be a parent, nor should they be forced into that role if it doesn’t align with where they are in life.

Motherhood requires a certain level of emotional stability, patience, and selflessness. Nesta has spent so much of her life being forced into roles she didn’t ask for—caretaker for her family, the scapegoat for everyone’s frustrations, and now a warrior in a world that doesn’t truly understand her. She’s only just starting to rediscover who she is outside of those expectations. To thrust her into the role of a mother would be unfair, both to her and to the child, because she’s still working through her own pain and figuring out how to live for herself.

Nesta deserves the time and space to fully heal and to decide what she truly wants out of life, free from the expectations of others. Becoming a mother isn’t just a matter of love—it’s a lifelong commitment that requires you to be in a place where you can give your child the emotional support they need. Right now, Nesta is still learning how to support herself. She’s still processing her trauma, learning to trust, and rebuilding relationships with the people around her. Adding the pressure of motherhood to that mix would only risk reopening old wounds or creating new ones.

And let’s not forget how much pressure the Inner Circle would likely put on her if she did have a child. Nesta has already been judged and criticized for every move she’s made; imagine how much worse it would be if she became a mother. Every parenting decision she made would be scrutinized, and knowing how they’ve treated her in the past, it’s easy to see how they’d weaponize her struggles against her. That’s not an environment where anyone, let alone someone like Nesta, could thrive as a parent.

Motherhood isn’t something that should be forced on Nesta as part of her “redemption arc” or used to soften her edges for the sake of a storyline. She has the right to take as long as she needs to heal, to figure out her purpose, and to decide if children are even something she wants. Right now, she’s still building her own foundation, and until that foundation is solid, I don’t think she’s ready—or that it’s fair to expect her—to take on the enormous responsibility of raising a child.

Nesta has so much self-loathing buried deep inside her that the idea of her becoming a mother feels almost impossible for her to even comprehend—because she doesn’t believe she would make a good mother. Nesta has spent so much of her life feeling unworthy, undeserving of love, and like a burden to those around her. Even as she begins to heal, that inner voice of doubt and self-hatred still lingers, constantly telling her she’s not good enough. How can someone who struggles to see their own value believe they’re capable of raising a child?

Nesta’s guilt and shame run so deep that she often feels like she poisons the people around her, no matter how hard she tries to do better. She believes that she’s failed her sisters, that she’s failed herself, and that every relationship she’s ever had has been marred by her inability to let people in or show them the parts of herself she doesn’t hate. Those feelings of failure and inadequacy would only intensify if the question of motherhood ever came up. Nesta would likely convince herself that she’d ruin her child, that her anger, her fear, and her pain would seep into them and make her unfit to care for them.

It’s not hard to imagine her rejecting the idea outright, not because she doesn’t care, but because she believes her love wouldn’t be enough. Nesta has always struggled to reconcile her desire to protect the people she loves with her belief that she’s not worthy of their love in return. When it comes to something as vulnerable and selfless as raising a child, those fears would only grow louder. The idea of creating a life, of being responsible for nurturing and shaping another person, would terrify her—not because she doesn’t want to love, but because she doesn’t think she’s capable of being the kind of mother a child deserves.

Nesta has spent so long convincing herself that she’s irredeemable, that she’s nothing more than the sharp edges and pain people see on the surface. Even as she works to heal, to accept herself, and to believe that she’s worthy of love, it’s a long and difficult journey. Until she can see her own value, it’s hard to imagine her believing she could provide that kind of unconditional love and stability to a child. And the tragedy is that Nesta does have the capacity to love deeply—she just doesn’t see it in herself. Until she can, the thought of becoming a mother would only amplify her self-loathing and fears of failure.

It’s not that Nesta wouldn’t care for a child if she had one—she absolutely would. But she would carry the constant fear that she’s not enough, that she’s somehow damaging them, or that they’d be better off without her. And that’s heartbreaking, because the truth is that Nesta’s love, while imperfect, is fierce and unyielding. But until she can see that for herself, she’d never believe she could be a good mother.

[trans-axolotl]

content note: discussion of suicide.

this next monday will be the six year anniversary of losing one of my friends to suicide.

when he died, my high school barely mentioned his death, even though for other students who died by things like car crashes or illness, there were so many public expressions of grief. they believed that having any memorials for a student who died by suicide would encourage other people to die the same way. in their rush to erase the circumstances of his death, they erased the memory of his life.

there are so many things i am angry at that high school about in terms of how they treated mental health (mandatory reporting and collaborating with cops, their refusal to recognize the ways in which that system led to peer-to-peer crisis support, their refusal to recognize the ways that trying to keep each other alive through trial and error was scary and exhausting, carceral disciplinary policies, etc etc etc). but i think one of the things i am still angriest about is the way they enforced shame around his death. it felt like they were retroactively blaming him for the constellation of circumstances that made suicide an option in his life. it felt like they were blaming those of us who missed him and cared about him and wanted to grieve him. it made those of us still there who were actively suicidal feel even more scared about the reaction if we did reach out for help from one of those mythical safe adults.

as an adult now involved in psych abolition/mad liberation work, it makes me so fucking mad to see the ways in which he was discarded by people in authority positions. and the older i get, the more options i have found in my life for making sense of the world and finding healing and community and support which were never available to him because he died when he was 16 and the only things offered to him were a carceral psychiatric system that blamed him for his own fucking death. it feels so incredibly unfair.

i miss him and i think i always will; i can't remember his laugh or the sound of his voice or his favorite color any more and that aches. this grief is so heavy and it feels harder in a new way each year, when i become older than he will ever be. sometimes meeting new comrades or seeing new anticarceral suicide support models hurts because i wish so fucking bad that we had that back then. i remember how close we came to losing even more people that year and i know it is simple fucking luck that i'm still here when he's not.

i remember another letter (never sent) that i wrote to a friend while they were in an ICU bed after a suicide attempt when i didn't know if they would live or not. i have spent so much time in the past 10 years begging for anything to keep me and my friends alive, but even in that letter i knew that there is so much fucking violence that is hidden beneath psychiatric logics of cure and safety that promise a "solution" to suicide. I knew that institutionalization, coercion, and shame would not have helped build a life more liveable for him or **** or any of the people i've loved and lost since.

there needs to be more fucking options for care and support that aren't so incredibly cruel to suicidal people. i know so many people doing incredible work in alternatives, peer respite, a million different frameworks for healing and liberation. but it makes me so mad every day i have to live in a world where there are still people restrained, locked up in psych wards, having all autonomy and personhood taken away from them. knowing there are dozens of people every day getting blamed for their deaths the same way he was blamed for his.

i miss him. i cared so fucking much for him. and he died by suicide, and all of those things are true. he has been dead for 6 years and he lived before that and the people who loved him want to remember all of him; our celebrations of his life should not require hiding the way that he died.

Image description: [1000 origami cranes in all different colors and patterns that are tied together in strings of 25]

(these were the 1000 cranes we made to give to his parents, in memorial and recognition of how much he meant to us.)

[lectern-fullcauldron]

the thing about joe hills, at least for me, is that once you're accustomed to Joe's streams, no other streaming style is compatible.

let me explain. Joe, last I heard, has over 4000 unread messages from people asking to be unbanned. the ban hammer falls heavy, the ban hammer falls firm.

the angriest I've ever heard Joe was during a section where he stopped playing minecraft to give an extended speech about the importance of no platforming facists, about recognising dogwhistles, and making sure the community he's built is protected from those that could harm it.

Joe mods his own streams - except on special occasions where he'll pay a moderator to look after chat when Joe is busy.

and because Joe is self modding, the stream often moves with chat. Joe reads what we say, and because he has both discord and YouTube chats (rip twitch chat), he'll read aloud messages for different chats to hear. and so you learn names in Joe's chat. you say howdy to regulars (or ahoy) and the chat moves slow enough to say howdy back.

there is no spamming in Joe Hills' chat. No all caps. No strings of emojis. Chat moves slowly, and legibly so that we can read and consider and talk to one another.

The rules are engraved on the doors to the chat, and we all know them, once we've been there long enough. And they're good rules. Incredibly good rules. people who break them are often timed out so that they can read the rules and consider where they messed up before trying again.

One rule I appreciate most is the one that bans mentions of like counts, or view counts. The stream ethos is to not get neurotic about numbers, to not make Joe neurotic about youtube metrics that make no financial impact.

I cannot be in a stream, now, where the streamer is obsessed with their view count, and says things like 'im not starting till we have five hundred likes on the stream or I have a hundred thousand subscribers.' I can't do it.

the Joe Hills community is the place I've felt most comfortable on the internet. It is a space that you can tell is over ten years in the making. Joe has consistently made choices about his YouTube career that conform to the ethics he voices.

His stream has no 'real' dynamic overlay so that people can know they don't have to commission graphics and music and alerts to be a successful streamer. He often has a microphone out of his office window so that we can hear the birds singing. His camera grows and the abacus beads clack whilst the beetlejhost suit waits just out of sight.

Joe Hills is filmed before a live streaming audience (that's us!)

[celaenaeiln]

so my friend, at 12 am, called me just to say that dick grayson is the only one in his family that bruce truly views as an equal and then hung up. what. what do i do.

well, call them back and tell 'em they're right 😂😂😂

I started cackling so hard I began wheezinggg oh my god that's hilarious!!!

But maybe for a more reasonable time to talk about this concept after you wake/have woken up from your dick grayson cameo dreams, I'll drop some comic panels

Dick is privy to all of Bruce because of the way Bruce treats him like an equal

He lets Dick in on secrets that he doesn't tell any of the others

I've made a post before on how Clark views Dick as his equal just as Bruce views Dick as his equal.

I'm going to drop the Bruce segment here:

When Bruce was gone the only person he entrusted any information to was Dick. He left a personalized - voice activated - message for Dick and only him that lists his worries, faults, and regrets.

"The girl, Cassandra Cain... I told her to give this file to you should I fall tonight."

"She's my greatest sin, Dick. My deepest regret. Stay alive, and please. Try to forgive me--"

He lists his insecurities to Dick as friend, as an equal.

Of everyone Bruce left behind, the only person Bruce left a message for was Dick. He relies on him unconditionally to take over because Bruce doesn't seem him as a kid like he does with the other - don't get me wrong, he still values and knows just how brilliant the rest of his children are - but he sees Dick as an equal in terms of intelligence, abilities, and leadership. Actually -

Bruce puts Dick on a pedestal.

He views Dick as the golden standard of everything he's working toward.

The reason I think Bruce is so harsh on Dick in regards to training is he doesn't see him as a kid that needs protection, he seems him equal to himself.

Time and time again he sends Dick on solo missions because of the faith he has in Dick's abilities and intelligence

In another comic there's an Arkham breakout and Bruce just. He just sends sends Dick on a solo mission to contain the entirety of Arkham and the villains inside by himself.

And Dick does. Effortlessly.

The fight for Spyral

"I know the other heroes. I know them all. I'd have them do it, but they can't. They'd fight, but eventually they'd give up, they'd give in."

We all know that Bruce despises himself when he fails at something. He thinks he's the best in the world and struggles to cope with the idea that he failed. As such, Bruce views Dick as an extension of himself. Unlike with the kids where he acknowledges their differences and treats them like children, Dick and Bruce are so intertwined that Bruce considers Dick as the "good part" of himself while Bruce is the "bad part".

He gets the angriest at Dick during times where Dick disagrees with him because he believes that Dick should understood what he's going through and what he believes in. For his part, Dick is always on Bruce's side and acts like Bruce's leash. He'll let Bruce do anything he wants as long as it's within the limits of acceptable behavior. Once Batman crosses those limits, Dick fights with him to bring him back.

As such, Bruce doesn't differentiate himself with Dick. He is the best and as a result so is Dick. Except in his mind Dick is better than him in every way possible and he took the steps to ensure it through training.

One of the reasons people in the comics call Dick the Golden Child is because he's the living embodiment of everything Bruce strived to create. It's not because he follows his orders religiously or anything. No, Dick just gives Bruce a longer leash than most.

In the Spyral fight I think he hits Dick because he is in part frustrated with himself. Imagine seeing someone you have unconditional faith in because you know they're capable of the very same things as you and can even surpass you fall to a threat. Doesn't that mean you would've fallen too? Is their failure just as much yours if you see yourself as a god? But how can a god-like being fall?

Their relationship is complicated because while Bruce sees Dick as his own person, he also sees him as the reflection of his success.

That's why Bruce is harsher on Dick than the rest of the kids. That's why Bruce makes Dick his right hand man. That's why Bruce shares his sorrows, fears, and vulnerabilities to Dick.

The way they interact, they view each other as father and son but with all the roles and responsibilities as partners.

Dick's compartmentalization and the way he mothers Bruce and Bruce allows it? He doesn't let anyone do that. I feel like on some level he subconsciously expects Dick to take care of him. As someone he can turn to with his worst and darkest sides and still be loved and appreciated and told everything will be alright. It's not a burden he places on the rest of his kids. Which is why Dick's relationship with Bruce straddles the line between son and guardian with him playing both roles and Bruce reacting/ forcing him to react that way.

Also

"Robin fuctions as support."

"Robin wasn't your idea, Bruce! It was mine! I sat in your cave and I watched you and I learned-- and when you needed my help I was there!"

"I'm not your employee, I'm not your son. I'm your partner."

One thing that differentiates Dick's robin from the other robins is that while the other Robins were worried about meeting Bruce's expectation, Dick was more worried about Bruce not seeing him as an equal. He ran away from home because he was mad that Bruce was becoming more controlling and not at all like how they used to be - partners.

There's a reason Dick is the only one Bruce views as his equal. It's because the experiences they've shared have woven them so tightly together that Bruce considers Dick his better half and pillar of strength. If he falls back, he can rely on Dick to take over. Emotionally and physically.

Still laughing at your friend lol. Wild

[noemilivv]

Request: You know that scene from The Show must go on with Charlie and Vaggie singing the reprise of "More Than Anything" On the night before the battle? Well can you do that but with Husk and his s/o with the two either singing or talking about how much has happened but they’ll always stand by each other’s side even if they’re freaking terrified about the outcome of it all and saying the word “I love you” for the first time in the process

ofc i can do that!! this is so cute and husk has my heart so haha

Warnings: Reader basically takes Angel’s place in this, Mentions of Drinking, Mentions of Death, Mentions of War

“More Than Anything”

“I guess you really have changed.” Husk said, giving you a soft smile.

“Hey.. Charlie said we could live tonight however we wanted.” You started, smiling back at him, “So pour me a fresh one, and let’s get to living!”

You watched as Husk crossed over to the other side of the bar to prepare your drink, you let out a dreamily sigh that felt like it was being held in forever.

Husk had only entered your life a few mere months ago, but you don’t think you’ve ever cared for someone so…lovingly.

Truth be told, you didn’t know how far this would go, if he even felt the same, hell, if you both even survived tomorrow. But you didn’t care.

When you were with Husk, it felt like you could be the weirdest, saddest, happiest, angriest, silliest, and most fucked up version of yourself without judgement. And…it was a little strange.

Hell wasn’t the kindest place to you, and neither was your life on Earth, but that didn’t matter.

Husk would be there to put all the broken pieces of your heart back together, sure, they were only binded by mere pieces of figurative glue or tape, but even with the most crappy materials that belonged in a kindergarten classroom, Husk would be able to put it together good as new.

After a short conversation with Husk, you went over to Charlie and hugged her, thanking her for everything the hotel has given you. It looked like she was about to cry right then and there.

While you were at it, you went over to Pentious, thanking him for being one of your closest friends while at the hotel, and wished him good luck in the battle, and good luck winning Cherri’s heart, patting him on the back before you left.

Then… you snuck off. You stood against the wall, feeling tears prick in your eyes, little did you know a certain cat approached you.

“You snuck away.” He stated. “What happened?” He asked, coming over to your side, leaning against the wall.

Neither of you made eye contact, instead you both just stared at the other side of the wall.

“I’m just so scared…” You mumble, your voice cracking, the water works spilling out of your eyes.

You wiped your eyes, trying to stop hiccups from escaping your lips, “What if we lose?”

Husk sighed, bitting his lip, he wasn’t ready to say this, but this could possibly be the last chance he had to do so, “Then at least I’ll die with you by my side.”

Your head whipped around to face him, surely you heard him wrong! “Huh? Wha— What do you mean?”

He took a breath in, turning to his body completely to face you, “I… I know this is sudden, but if I die tomorrow, if you die tomorrow, I need you to know that you made me a better man.” Husk said, looking into your eyes, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“If tomorrow, one of us is gone, you need to know I love you more than anything.” Husk whispered, holding your face in his paws.

Your foreheads connected, feeling eachothers hot breath on your face, and all you could do, is lean in, and kiss the man who made you feel whole again.

[sluttysnowangel666]

The Song of Blackwoods & Brackens: Chapter 15

masterlist

Chapter 15: The Battle of the Burning Mill

cw: graphic depictions of war

𐂃 𐂃 𐂃 𐂃

I didn't know how I got there. All I knew was that these moments were about to be my last.

Everything had happened so quickly. The situation spiraled out of control before I even realized it was occurring.

Smoke was everywhere, bodies were everywhere. I couldn't walk without stepping on someone. I knew I was going to die. I could barely walk, could barely see.

I could live with dying. I made my bed, I'm ready to lie in it.

He and I were doomed from the start. I loved him; It ruined my life.

———

"I wish I could keep my hands off of you." Benjicot says, kissing my forehead repeatedly.

"Touch me all you want, Benji. We've got a month of time to make up for." He smiles, continuing to plant gentle kisses on me.

He holds me close, our bodies still wet and cold from the water. "Does something trouble you?" He asks.

I sigh, "How could you tell?" I pause for a moment. "I just... I curse the Gods for making me as they did."

"What do you mean?"

"A Bracken." I say, saddened. "A Bracken woman."

I turn to face him before continuing, "I want to love you freely with no consequence. I want to stay in bed all day and eat cake with you. I want my brother to love me, despite what I'm doing to our house, to my duty."

"Fuck duty." He says.

"I wish we could just run away together. Live here, hunt, fight, fuck, build our land, maybe our own new house... A family."

"What would you name our house?" He asks.

"Brackwood." I jest, and he laughs.

"You truly do something strange to my heart, my lady." He says. "I think we should return. Midday is nearly upon us."

He pulls me up. We dress and begin our walk back. I don't know why, but I feel an impending sense of doom.

We make it back to the edge of the woods, when Benjicot pulls me in for a tight kiss.

"I love you, my lady." He whispers into my lips. "I've loved you since the day I met you."

"I love you in return, Lord Blackwood."

We part, painfully, like getting a limb cut off during a fight.

I make my way back to the castle, and my heart sinks at the sight before me.

My brother's horse, my uncles carriage, and... a Lannister carriage.

"Oh, no. Oh, Gods no." I whisper to myself. I turn to run, but I turn right into the arms of my uncle.

I gasp in shock, I try to break from his arms but he has me tight.

"Uncle-"

"Be quiet!" He yells. I immediately burst into tears. My uncle curses and drags me into Stone Hedge as I cry and fight and drag my feet.

He covers my mouth to keep the Lannister lords from hearing me sob as we pass the council chambers. He opens my door and shoves me inside to the floor.

"I've had enough of this. You will get out of your brother's clothes this instant or I will cut them off you myself, get you in that bloody dress, and let that Lannister wed and bed you here and now!"

"You wouldn't dare!" I scream at him through tears. He unsheathes his sword.

"Is this how you dare treat the Lady of House Bracken?" I yell as he yanks me by my arm, using his sword to rip through the fabric of the back of my tunic. "Your own brother's daughter?"

He turns me around, forcing me to look upon the most angriest stare I'd ever seen from his eyes. He raises his hand, and lands a cold, harsh slap across my cheeks. I fall to the floor, holding my cut cheek from his ring in pain. "You are to never speak to me of my brother again, or I will have your head. Fuck the Lannister alliance, I will behead you myself."

He waits, but when I say nothing he exits my chambers; My cheek bloody, my clothes ripped, everything perfect beginning to fall apart.

My sadness began to grow into anger. I was so stupid. I did this to myself. It was mine own fault for falling in love with him. I should've just left when I had the chance,

married the Lannister. I hated this place, I hated my brother for never caring, my uncle for the same, the servants, the handmaidens, the other lords. All they did was watch and let it happen.

I stood up and stormed outside, but the guard my uncle placed outside my door grabbed my wrist.

"Let me go. This will be your only warning."

He laughed. "Your uncle said you weren't to leave this room... He said I could use any force I wanted to keep you here."

I unsheathed my sword. He was quick, but I was quicker. With one shove I slammed my sword into his stomach. He fell to his knees, the blood eliciting gurgling, choking sounds as he began to drown in his own blood.

He fell on his face, dead.

I had killed my first man.

While I didn't know it yet, I would kill hundreds more in less than an hour.

I went outside, straight to the boundary stones. My tunic was almost ripped entirely, revealing my whole backside, but I didn't care. I was fuming with so much anger, fear, adrenaline. Nothing would stop me. I was going slightly mad.

I began moving the stones, one by one, by myself. Nothing was about to get in my way.

"Aeron!" I turn and look, to see some Bracken men walking towards me. "You moving the bloody stones again?" They ask laughing.

"Yes." Is all I respond. They begin to help, and I don't make any attempt to stop them. Within 10 minutes, there's a small enough clearing for the cattle to walk through. I chase them with my sword, herding them to the Blackwood land.

Twenty minutes pass of me sitting with the men along the stones, talking.

"Can you even get that thing up?" One of them asks about my sword.

"Well enough for killing Blackwoods." I say, and they laugh.

And then the sweetest voice, like a siren song to my ears, yells in anger.

"BRACKEN!"

I turn and look, unphased. I knew it would be him to come. No one else got more upset over the stones being moved than he did.

His eyes soften. He looks me up, confused at my disheveled appearance. He continues anyway, angry even more so now that he knows I messed with the stones.

"Put the boundary stones back." He says, stern, but not harsh. His way of warning me.

"We didn't move them!" I say, marching towards him.

"Oh, did they move themselves then? Just rolled their way over so Bracken cows can fill their bellies on Blackwood grass?"

"The assize of Riverrun-"

"Fuck the assize," He says, exasperated. "and fuck you. This is our land."

I look at the men behind him, weighing my options, then I look back to him.

"It's Bracken land." His eyes fume with anger, yet he's utterly confused if this is a jest. Was I alright? Everything had been such a dream this morning. He wondered what the bloody hell happened between then and now.

I ignore the snarl on his face and turn to walk away. "Babe killer." I mutter, loud enough for him to hear.

"What did you say?!" He knows it's no longer a jest now. I'm, for some reason, being serious. What he can't figure out is why. He's concerned, yet angry with my blatant disrespect. I stop, nodding my head. Will I do it? Do I dare begin this game?

I turn.

"Your false Queen Rhaenyra is a kinslayer."

He hides the shock in his eyes. Benjicot was fading, and Bloody Ben was returning. He's done with this bullshit game. If I'm willing to roll the dice, he's willing to take the gamble.

"Your uncle declared for Aegon... Did he?" He steps towards me. I say nothing. "Well, then. Let me tell you Aegon Targaryen is no true king."

He steps closer, mere inches away from my face. "Just as you... are no true knight."

I'm fuming, as is he. "You're both craven..." A shove to my chest, "Little..." another. "Cunts!" A final harsh shove, pushing me back into one of the Bracken men.

I unsheathe my sword, aiming it towards him.

He laughs, a frightening laugh, filled with anger and resentment. His lips curl into a smile and he glides his tongue over this teeth. "You wouldn't dare."

Is it a threat, or a plead not to do it?

"Y/N..." He whispers a quiet plea so only I can hear. The clarity began to hit me, the way he said my name like that. I had lost myself for a moment.

I lowered my sword, but it was too late.

One of the men behind me swung at one of the Bracken men, and from there it turned into a ballroom blitz.

The men around us began fighting, swinging their swords. The sound of the metal clashing was deafening.

Someone went to swing their sword at Benji, and I reflected it with my own. The man pushed me aside, shoving me into the boundary stone. I hit my head hard, immediately going dizzy. I touched the warm liquid seeping down my face, and turned to see Benji had struck down the man who pushed me.

He came to me, pulling me on my feet. "We have to go now."

More and more fights began breaking out. For every Blackwood that showed up, another Bracken did as well. The field was becoming surrounded with men, horses were whining, trying to avoid the cross fire. My uncle and brother run up, swords unsheathed, Lannister men hot on their heels.

"Go, now!" Benji yells at me, his voice is fuzzy due to the ringing in my ears.

"I won't leave your side." I yell.

"Y/N, no one is surviving this, go!" He shoves me behind him as my uncle approaches.

"Y/N?" Aeron asks, "What the hell are you doing?"

The fighting around us doesn't cease, in fact it grows, spreading like wildfyre.

"Aeron-"

"Your sister has been ruling in your stead, pretending to be you, Aeron." My uncle yells over the fighting. Aeron grows angry. He unsheathes his sword, going to step around Benji.

"Don't touch her." Benji warns, shoving Aeron back. Aeron stares, shocked.

"What in the Gods names have you done, Y/N?" My uncle asks, immediately understanding everything that has happened while he's been gone.

"Aeron." My uncle starts, "Bring me her head."

"Aeron, my blood, please." I beg.

He sighs, sadly. His voice cracks at his words, "I hope you'll forgive me, sister."

I shove past Benji, sword in my hand, raising it to fight my brother.

"Y/N!" Benji yells, preparing to swing at Aaron.

"Benji, stay back!" I command him. He's terrified to follow that order, but he does.

"Brother, listen to me-"

"How could you betray our family?" He sobs, our swords clashing together.

"We never were a family!" I yell in anger. "You don't know what he's done to me! You never cared! But, I still love you, brother! Please stop this." I cry.

Aeron brings his sword down, slicing it right down my eye.

I fall to the ground, screaming in agony. Blood poured down my face. I was blind. My brother, my twin, had cut out my eye.

Time slowed, yet the next events transpired so fast.

I looked up with my good eye, my brother standing over me, Benjicot with his sword slowly raising, ready to shove it into Arron's back.

My brother cocks his sword back, ready to take my head clean off. I take my hand off my eye, picking up my sword with both hands. It nearly slips from all the blood.

I shove it into my brother's stomach.

The world goes silent. Everyone watches. I just killed the heir to Stone Hedge.

I sob, and pull out my sword. His hands move to his stomach, and he falls to his knees in front of me.

"My blood." I sob, cradling his head in my hands. "I'm so sorry."

"Sister..." His bloody hand reaches up to cradle my bloody cheek. "I am sorry... Sorry I wasn't... a better brother."

He coughs, spitting up blood. I pull him into my lap, sobbing. "We... were born into this world, my sister, but we were never meant to die together."

He closes his eyes, and they never reopen. I sob, cradling his body to my chest. I kiss his head. My childhood best friend, the one I played with, who raised me until my Uncle took him under his possessive control.

"You dare mourn him, when this is your bloody fault. You killed the heir, you whore. You're no true Bracken."

I look up at my uncle, my chest rising and falling with intense anger. Tears fall from my eye.

Benji stares at me, fearful of the woman he loved turning into a mad man before him.

I stand, my brother's body lying at my feet. The fighting continues.

"Kill them all!" I cry out, "Kill every fucking Bracken and Lannister until their line is dead!"

"Get back, Y/N!" Benjicot yells, shoving my arm down to keep me from raising my sword.

"Stand back, My Lord!" A Lannister yells, standing in front of my uncle with his sword drawn.

Bodies start dropping like flies, and in the chaos I lose sight of my uncle. Benji fights behind me the whole time, both of us protecting each other's backs.

I suffer a severe blow to my leg, the gash is deep, making it near impossible to walk on.

"My Lady, you must go immediately." Benjicot says, holding me up to keep me from falling.

"Find my fucking uncle." I mumble.

"It's over! You must go! I will finish this for you, that I swear, My Lady."

I shove him off me, balancing on my good leg. "Don't lose sight of who you are, Y/N. Go now, before it's too late."

"My brother is gone. I will kill my uncle, even if it kills me."

"Then I'm sorry for what I'm about to do." Benji says, holding his sword towards me.

"Why are you protecting him?!" I yell.

"I'm protecting you! Don't be a fool! I will not lose you!"

"Do what you must." I say, raising my sword back. He sighs. I give him one last look, blood covers him from head to toe.

"Don't. Don't make me do this." He begs.

"I always knew you were a cunt, Blackwood." I say. He cries, red tears falling down his cheeks.

"Please. I'm begging."

I swing my sword at him, but he blocks it. The unfortunate part for him is he trained me. I know his moves. I know how to best him.

We fight. I fume with rage, he cries in sadness, both of us mourning who we were just a day ago.

I swing, but he knocks my sword out of my hand and sneaks upon me from the right, where my eye no longer could see him. He grabs my wrist, and I gasp.

"I'm sorry, Y/N."

Everything goes dark.

[disgracefulthings]

Whether you ship them romantically or platonically, Shen Jiu x Yue Qi has to be one of the most tragic couples I have ever come across, not just because of their circumstances, but who they are as people.

Shen Jiu shields himself in cruelty and refuses to allow himself to be vulnerable to anyone, even to those he has cared about. He convinces everyone he is a monster, he was able to convince me he was a monster with a single line in the story (we'll get back to that)

Yue Qi refuses to tell Shen Jiu the truth of why he never came for him. He is afraid of confronting his failure because, even if Shen Jiu hates him, he is still there, and Yue Qi rather be hated than to lose his Xiao-Jiu again.

In two timelines they failed to find happiness. In one, they both die horribly, in the other, one dies while the other is unaware of what he lost.

I love MXTX's writing, and there is a part of the Yue Qi and Shen Jiu extra that I absolutely loved. After Shen Jiu reunites with Yue Qi and believes the man had abandoned him, he wishes that he found him dead on the side of the road instead. This line made me hate Shen Jiu a bit, and it's probably his cruelest line in the book, but it's also a lie, something you don't realize until the end of the extra. Luo Binghe tortures his master for who knows how long, but he isn't able to get him to break until he reveals that Yue Qingyuan was dead. I do believe that the break is partly caused by the fact that Yue Qi came for him, something he thought would never happen, but I believe this scene is supposed to show the truth, that Shen Jiu never wanted his Qi-ge dead, even at his angriest, because no matter what he thinks, seeing him dead on the side of the road would break him more than the abandonment ever did.