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grudgecollector · 19 days ago

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Trip Sitter | Nam-gyu / Reader / Thanos

HEADCANONS & DRABBLE

Pairing: Nam-gyu & Choi Su-bong (Thanos) / GN!Reader

Summary: The three of you do shrooms.

Tags/Warnings: Drug use, swearin, suggestive themes, implied sex while intoxicated

A/N: So I used to do shrooms with my ex, so this is written with personal experience.

The concept has been living inside of my head for like four days now. So finally I've come around to finish it.

Now realistically would I ever do shrooms with these bozos? HELL NO. Well... Maybe. But first timers doing shrooms with them? Bad call.

ᯓ First time? Congratulations you’ve just made both the best and worst decision anyone could make under this circumstance.

Best because they’re both experienced. Worst because they are terrible trip sitters. Kind of.

ᯓ The come up is always the worst. That gripping nausea that holds you down to the bed, eyes shut, focusing on your breathing to stop yourself from throwing up. You felt like the room was spinning around you every time you cracked an eye open. You were trying to be brave.

ᯓ Nam gyu would absolutely be the type to say"

“the cops are actually on their way right now.” "Dude your mom just texted me, and told me she wants to talk to you right now." "I think there's someone outside the window..." (he will say this when it's night time specifically) "Did you hear that? Was that someone saying your name?"

Let's just say that if you scare easily, this trip is not going to be very fun. And you have eight hours to deal with it.

ᯓ If you start crying though, Nam-gyu will be the one to pull you into his chest. Comforting you, trying not to move too much and shushing you quietly.

Su bong would be sitting at the end of the bed watching with worried eyes. He doesn’t want to risk overstimulating you too much, as that is a very frequent thing that can and will happen.

ᯓ First trips are INTENSE. All of these emotions you’re feeling coming to the forefront so suddenly. A floodgate absolutely will burst.

ᯓ Su bong would be the one to pull up TikTok. Which is always a gamble when scrolling through while on shrooms. Especially if you’re still getting visuals. Either the funniest videos in the world will show up, or the most horrifying thing you’ve ever seen will be bestowed upon you.

ᯓ Nam gyu is the one who gets an idea to build a fire outside. The come up hasn’t hit any of you yet, so you have a good forty minutes to build this fire. You and Su-bong pull some chairs off the patio, pulling them close enough to be able to feel the fire and watch it.

ᯓ Walks with them while on shrooms is honestly the most peaceful though. If you’re walking through a path in the woods, sunlight streaming through the leaves, it’s absolutely gorgeous. It’s like you’re seeing the world through a different lens.

The leaves on the trees would look like they're sparkling, the bark would look like it's breathing, pulsing slowly back and forth. The three of you take your time outside, stopping and watching nature.

ᯓ Out of the three of you, Su-bong is the one who gets after-shrooms depression the most. It's pretty simple, once the high goes away you just feel empty and depressed. All of those intense feelings now dissipated back into how they were before.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

"Holy fuck dude...." Su-bong whispered, the grip he had on his phone tightened before he dropped it into his lap. A hand came up to his face as he tried to contain his laughter. "I am so fucked up right now."

You glanced over at his phone to see the front facing camera was open. The icons on that weren't covered by his hand were swaying in your eyes, almost like they were going to crawl off the screen.

Goosebumps rose up on your skin when you felt Nam-gyu's fingers trail up your bicep. He was laying down on the bed, curled into your side, listening to your steady heartbeats.

Su-bong was sat crisscross at the end of the bed, your feet pushed up against his shin. You couldn't stop staring at his hair, it looked like it was blowing in a subtle breeze, every time he moved the color seemed to leave a translucent trail before settling back on his head.

His eyes almost seemed to twinkle in the light, the sun shining in from the window right down onto him. It made him look ethereal.

"Tell me about it dude, I keep seeing a face in the corner of my eyes." Nam-gyu chuckled quietly, snuggling himself closer into your chest.

"Is it scary?" Su-bong asked, swaying a little back and forth slowly.

Nam-gyu continued to trace small patterns into your arm, "Nah he's chill."

You looked down at Nam-gyu's hand on your arm, staring as it almost looked like his fingers would dip beneath your skin any second.

"You feeling good, babe?" Su-bong asked, his eyes meeting yours. God his pupils were huge, you're sure yours were no better.

"I fucking love this." You sighed out, leaning your head back against the wall.

ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻ੈ✩‧₊˚

The one who is most likely to beg you to make out with them, hold them, do a little more with them is nam- just kidding it's both of them.

One thing about shrooms is it will make you clingier and hornier than a motherfucker (sometimes... depends on who you're with and doing it with). And they are absolutely no different.

Once the comedown stops and you're all just chilling in your high, you'll be sandwiched between them.

Nam-gyu laying in front of you, his lips moving in sync with yours, a hand braced on your waist right below Su-bong's arm that was wrapped around you.

The purple haired menace would be laying behind you, his whole body pressed flush against yours as he nips and sucks on your neck. Whispering filthy things into your ear that makes both Nam-gyu and you whine desperately.

God everything felt so much more intense right now. Every sense was heightened to the max, you felt like you were vibrating, you have never needed them more than right now.

#nam gyu #su bong #choi su bong #squid game #squid game x reader #thanos x reader #thanos squid game #squid game x you #thanos x nam gyu x reader #nam gyu x reader #nam gyu x you #nam gyu squid game #violet writes #violets headcanons

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verdantlights · 4 months ago

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Thoughts/Analysis Part 2 (but its coherent)

OKay so i slept (finally) after staying up since wednesday morning and only getting roughly 5 hours of sleep in total?? until I finally managed to get decent hours of sleep last night. anyways. i am still not normal in the slightest over round 7 but i have many more thoughts, am a lot more coherent, and have had it swimming in my head for a while.

TW for mentions of drug use. I'm gonna start with Luka. I've stated in the edit I made of the original post as well as in a few reblogs, but Luka is a victim. A lot of people are Luka haters, and that's valid! I am also, to an extent, a Luka hater.... even if I have a thing for blonde twinks with issues. But his character is also incredibly interesting. If you are familiar with Honkai: Star Rail, then you might understand what I'm saying when I think Luka is a combination of both Sunday AND Robin. He has the trapped bird in a cage mentality from Robin with the need for order and control mentality from Sunday. Order and control referring to winning being the only thing keeping his sanity in check.

Luka, as a human pet, is aware that he is playing a losing game. He needs to win, but he knows that winning Season 50 is not the end. He may have won against Till, but now the segyein are going to put him against Hyuna, considering Hyuna and Mizi were referred to as special guests. The way he looked at Hyuna in that last scene was part of him realizing this. It's the face you pull when you realize something horrible, but you need to keep face/keep your composure.

Their ear pieces are similar to their collars in that they show the emotions of the wearer. We can clearly see Till's earpiece glowing red the entire time (up until Mizi appears), and Luka's is constantly glowing green. Luka was seen in hysterics pretty much the entire time like the one frame where he's holding in his laughter.

Luka was drugged on something that makes him euphoric and lose his sense of control, like weed or cocaine. He found fucking with Till to be the funniest thing ever, but it's not normal for Luka to be so outwardly expressive of his elation. We know he enjoyed fucking with Mizi, even if it let to getting his ass beat, but even then, he wasn't as expressive then as he was with Till. That leads me to believe that he has something in his system to heighten his emotional output as well as some sort of adrenaline drug like what Till was most likely given.

What bugs me is that they don't show us what color his earpiece is as he looks at Hyuna. We see Till's earpiece turn green at Mizi, but does Luka's stay green as he looks at Hyuna? I feel it was orange, but that's just me.

Luka now knows what's about to happen, which is also why Hyuna tries to stop Mizi. Hyuna knew the whole time that if they were to save Till, they'd be walking straight into the trap. Mizi's heart is too kind and she's desperate to save Till.

Thankfully, what Hyuna had gone there for originally seems to be completed. Whatever files she was downloading was complete before she went after Mizi, and I think that's where were gonna see Issac and Dewey again. I think she might've been uploading those files to them so that they can take the lead from there. This leads me to my prediction for the next episode. (ill get to till last, hes my little meow meow and im not normal about him)

I don't think Blink Gone is done. I believe there is a part two to the Finals, and that round 7 wasn't even the final round. I've already stated that the most likely thing to happen next is Luka v Hyuna, but then I also talked about Issac and Dewey.

Hyuna could have gotten her hands on high profile data regarding Alien Stage. She sends the data to Dewssac, and they shut down the stage from the inside, allowing the resistance to come in and do a massive sweep, hopefully before either Hyuna, Luka, or Mizi dies.

Now, as for Mizi. We know Mizi is the main character, and there are people who are saying Till's death boosts her hero arc. Now there are two ways I see this happening, either:

Vivinos keeps up their streak of tragedy and kills off everyone, leaving Mizi isolated entirely.

Or someone (dewssac, hyuna, mizi, maybe even luka) pull through and live to save more people.

If it's the first one, Till is dead dead. If the second, Till has a chance at being alive.

There are many reasons why Till is most likely alive, and as a hopeful feeler... I also am clinging onto the more hopeful ending (the second option). Not just because "Haha guys I need Till to be alive, he's my bias" but also because seeing Mizi completely isolated and forced to fake a smile and perform would absolutely fucking destroy me and I don't think I'd ever be the same after that, honestly. Like that genuinely scares me.

There's the narrative of ALNST and vivimeng's beautiful storytelling. That is my number one hopeful reasoning for Till being alive. If Till dies here, it would be utterly nonsensical and it would ruin the narrative. It would completely void all of Ivan's character, for starters. I was just talking about this with @rockwgooglyeyes and Vant (idt they wanna be tagged here), but Ivan's character is static. He is not dynamic or fluid, but he is extraordinarily complex which makes up for it. He never really had an arc of his own unless you count what happened in his past during/before being bought by Unsha. His death is meant to haunt the narrative, meant to haunt Till. So why would he die, only for Till to die a few hours later? It would completely ruin what he was meant for and it would be so unsatisfying and bitter.

However, there's also the thematics of ALNST. Rock called out @pwippy for this already, but I'm gonna call them out too because fuck you plip (/j i love you plipster). Rock put it really well in these two excerpts I took from his post:

"Alien Stage is a universe full of suffering and pain for humans, forced to perform until they literally die on stage, all for the entertainment of the audience. It's not even meant as a way of exerting control or oppressing them, though it serves that purpose, because why would the seygein bother to oppress something that can't even fight back? Why go to the trouble of controlling something that is just a pet, whose cries are the fuel for a new age?"

Once again mentioning the Hunger Games because I genuinely can't help myself I love THG way too much, but that's the key difference between ALNST and THG: the human pets aren't being forced to do this because of a past rebellion and are being punished by the oppressing government... They're being thrown into this for fun. Full credit to @alien-til-i-stage who said this as a joke, but it is really fucking real, but the segyein bringing their human pets to watch ALNST in the audience are like people bringing dogs to a dog fight in real life. And that, I fear, puts into perspective as to just how much of a pet the humans are to the segyein. They are only there for entertainment. The resistance is mostly a thorn in their side as of right now (dewey and issac better change that next episode or istg) and killing these humans is simply just fun for them. They know humans can be hostile, just like dogs, but they tame them and make them docile and obedient, only to make them kill each other in the end, even if it's through a singing competition rather than an all out teeth and claws brawl. (except for round 5, that doesnt count)

"In this world of pain and suffering, perhaps death is a mercy. If Till is truly dead, then he no longer a tool for his oppressors, he is free of their control. For Ivan and Sua both of their deaths were mercies to them- Ivan was able to die for the one he loved, as was Sua, and neither of them were forced to live in a world without their beloved."

(thank you rock i love you pookie snookie)

He also mentions that it's not in character for Till to die, which I completely agree with. Till's persona is that of someone who wants to win, but not in the same way Luka needs to win. Till wants to win to live and survive with those he loves, he wants to win to beat the system, but considering how dystopian of a world this is, as much as he wants to win and save Mizi, he craves death as a freedom.

That out of the way, another thing that @junebluues actually got me to think about was this:

The bomb has Till's eyes and is crying as it knows it's going to die (assuming it's a sentient alien like Freddie). And the comparison here honestly opened my eyes a little bit and got me thinking.

Was Till a catalyst? Because that was a smoke bomb. I ended up thinking about it for a minute and came up with three possibilities where Till is a bomb/smoke bomb:

Mizi is using Till to hide her feelings

Till is the bomb that sets off a chain of events

Till is used to hide/cover up the real plan for either the segyein or for the resistance

I don't think it's the first one, I feel like it'd be closer to the other two, but any three of those could work. Because Mizi's feelings of despair over her situation can be hidden behind the hope as she reached out for Till. But as the smoke clears (Till dies) she remembers that it was, in fact, a bomb.

EDIT: Also, the lyric that plays during the smoke bomb scene is "No, don't look back now" which also kinda leads me to believe that Till is the start of a chain/domino effect. Once you knock the first domino, you can't go back.

I think someone somewhere had also talked about Till being forced to be used as a catalyst/bait again considering how well it worked here. There's a good chance Urak might have supplied the drugs to Till and also paid out or WAS paid out by another person to use Till as bait. Urak wouldn't want his pet that he is grossly possessive over to die that easily without every ounce of use being wrung out of him,,, something something Till being a Trojan Horse of sorts (thanks rock for that one, too).

EDIT: I also remembered that during the sequence in the song where the audience is singing the chorus and we see Ivan on the screens, is when Till looks like he's about to pass out. What gets me here is the fact that it is quite literally a chorus of vultures. The audience singing the chorus with images of Ivan surrounding him and seeing Luka mimic Ivan made Till realize that he was surrounded and that's when he started losing hope. It's why his reaction to Mizi is so prominent, because it's like she was there to save him from the vultures. The audience singing is my favorite and also least favorite part of the video/song because the feeling of being surrounded and cornered with everyone against you and their voices echoing in your head... really does it for me. I really want to animate this sequence from up close in Till's POV.

Anyways the 4th reason i had for the bomb theory was that Till is smoking hot (sorry). okay im done now i think,,,,,, i might actually come back with more because i think i forgot something... but i cant remember..... i forgor.....

other tags: @shakingparadigm @aakaneeee @ivanttakethis @k9punkout @crustyfloor @apriciticreveries @bluemoonscape @tsukacchako @nottoonedin @paperstarry

side note that i genuinely put more effort into my analyses than i have ever put into any school essay ever

edit: FUCK I WAS SUPPOSED TO ANALYZE THE LYRICS AGAIN GOD DAMNIT i dont feel like doing that anymore ill just do it later maybe

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mysecretlittlelibrary · 11 days ago

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hey so can I have a scenario with Kurt wagner having a crush and he’s kind of hanging with the group, and the topic of “your type” comes up cuz crush just got asked out by the group very hot bad boy hero and crush is just like “Oh I don’t find bad boys or tough guys attractive at all. I like the opposite”. They like men who are cozy basically? (Kurt is cozy to be around once you know him).

~You Know You're Just My Type~

Pairing: Nightcrawler x Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: none

Genre: fluff

Summary: A conversation about your type leads to some discoveries you were not prepared to make today- carpe diem... you guess

***

"I've got a question for you y/n." Jack announces as he walks back into the room that you're all hanging out in.

"Shoot." You say dismissively. Jack's cool and all but nothing good ever comes out of his mouth when he begins like that. Plus all did was go get a soda, what could he possibly have discovered he needed to ask in that 5 minutes?

"When are you going to let me take you on a date?" He asks. Across the room, Kurt hold his breath at the question. Jack had a habit of flirting with you, but he'd never asked you on a real date before now. Or at least not that he knew of. But Jack is attractive, Kurt's never seen anyone say no to the guy before and he's not convinced you will either.

"Excuse me?" You blink at him and then burst out laughing. "That's the funniest thing you've ever said if I'm honest." You shake your head and Kurt feels beyond relieved as he sighs.

"Give it a rest man you're barking up the wrongest of trees." Logan scoffs.

"And how would you know?" Jack looks at Logan.

"Because he's got a brain." You say.

"They're practically attached at the hip dude, if any person here would know what's what with her dating preferences it'd probably be Logan." Jean says.

"Blasphemy!" You scoff.

"Defamation!" Logan chimes.

"Character Assassination!" You add.

"You're literally leaning against each other as if you can't sit up on your own right now be serious." Scott scoffs.

"Wait a second, that's a good point- are you two dating?" Jack asks.

You and Logan share a look.

"Gross." You both say.

"Why would you ask that?" You scoff.

"We just established the two of you are basically one person." Jack says.

"Yeah- platonically." You say.

"Have you never been friends with a girl dude?" Logan asks.

"I mean yeah, I'm friends with Jean, and Storm, and y/n- we're just not as close as you and y/n seem to-"

"Well hang on you just asked y/n on a date, so that automatically makes things a little different." Logan cuts Jack off.

"You're telling me you wouldn't date y/n?"

"I'm not answering that. You're being weird." Logan says, shaking his head.

"Yeah and don't talk about me like I'm not right here." You say.

"Fine, why won't you go on a date with me?" Jack asks.

"You are not my type darling."

"Nonsense." He rolls his eyes.

"So what is your type?" Jean asks.

"More importantly, how is it not me?" Jack asks.

"Do we have to do this?" You sigh.

"I think we should, I wanna know." Jack smirks.

"You're rowdy and obnoxious and kind of a dick sometimes and surprise there's only room for me to be close to one guy who's kind of a dick- Logan's already taken the spot." You shrug.

"So if you stop being friends with Logan-"

"Hey, tread carefully asshole." Logan points at him.

"Yeah that sounds like the start of a threat." You say.

"Don't team up against me." Jack shakes his head.

"Fine so we know they're not your types but you still haven't answered what is." Jean presses.

"Does it matter?" You scoff.

"Why are you being so secretive about it?" Storm asks.

"I just don't think it changes anything for most of you." You say.

"But for some of us?" Scott asks.

"Maybe Jack here." You say.

"Just Jack?" Logan smirks.

"Go die." You side eye him.

"Just answer their question." Logan chuckles. You sigh heavily.

"I like someone kind, gentle, I guess more on the soft spoken side? Not a pushover but not abrasive. I want someone calm, none of the adrenaline junkie shit."

"Can you guess who she's thinking of?" Logan smirks. His eyes flit very briefly to the subject of his oh so subtle insinuation.

"Shut up. You piece of shit." You shove him slightly, but you are still leaning on him so not with enough force to knock him down. You hope no one was able to pick up on what he was trying to hint at to the rest of the room. Although with Kurt being more quiet than usual you can't help but wonder if he knows.

"Wait, are you thinking of someone particular?" Scott asks.

"No." You say firmly.

"Logan?" Jean presses.

"She says no." He shrugs.

"You are such a dick. You know they're not gonna let this go! I will have no peace so long as they think I was describing someone in particular." You groan.

"Well-"

"Shhhhh! You're the worst. I'm never telling you anything of importance ever again." You smack Logan's chest.

"So there is someone specific?" Storm asks.

"That why you won't date me? Because you have a crush on someone else?" Jack asks.

"I! Did not say I have a crush on someone else." You say.

"No but your second head basically did." Jean says.

"Okay, just so we're clear, I won't date you because you're you. Whether or not I have a crush on someone else is irrelevant to that decision." You tell Jack.

"Ouch." Jack grabs his chest as if you've wounded him.

"You'll be fine, walk it off." You roll your eyes.

"Come on- you can trust us. You know that." Jean says.

"That is so not the problem here. I didn't want to talk about any of this in the first place. Can we drop this? Now?"

"Okay when y/n wants us to know anything about that she will tell us herself guys." Scott says.

"Thank you Scott." You say. "I'm going to get a drink. Anyone want anything?" You ask standing up. You need a break from this nonsense.

"I just came back from the kitchen, I could've got you something." Jack says.

"I didn't want anything then."

"I'll take a beer." Logan says.

"Great- be back." You say, leaving the room. You walk down to the kitchen and grab a beer from the fridge for Logan and a bottle of water for yourself.

"Do you- actually have a crush on someone?" Kurt's voice surprises you as you shut the fridge door.

"Fucking Christ!" You shout as you clutch your chest.

"Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you." He blinks in surprise.

"We need to get you a bell, you're too quiet when you walk." You say waiting for your heart rate to slow.

"I'm sorry. Logan asked me to refill on snacks." Kurt says

"It's fine dude, what'd you ask me?"

"Just- if Logan was telling the truth about you having a crush on someone or just taunting you like he does?" Kurt asks. Your knee-jerk reaction is to lie, tell him Logan was just being a dick and there's no one, but how bad could it be if he knew- I mean he's asking after all.

"Uh- well he was definitely trying to tease me but he wasn't lying about it I- was describing a specific person, yes."

"Someone we know- I assume?" Kurt asks hesitantly. He's not even sure he wants to know what the answer is.

"Correct." You nod. This conversation feels so awkward. You wish he would just ask who it is if that's what he wants to know.

"And you... want to keep it a secret, who it is?"

"I want the person to know before everyone else does." You say. Quit beating around the bush and tell him already my GOD

"I don't want to pry." Kurt says.

"Kurt the person I'm talking about is you." You blurt out before you can convince yourself not to. Again.

"What?" His eyes snap up to meet yours.

"I was talking about you."

"Oh." He whispers.

"It's not a big deal and I'm only telling you because Logan's been giving me grief for the past couple of months and after what just happened I'm starting to think he'll tell you before I do so- I wanted to get it out there. While we're on the subject or whatever."

"You- you like me?" Kurt asks, astonishment laced through his quiet words.

"Don't make me regret telling you."

"I- I had no idea."

"Yeah I'm pretty good at that."

"No I mean- I didn't even know you paid attention to me."

"Of course I do."

"I like you too."

"You do?"

"More than anything. When Jack asked you out earlier I thought for sure you'd say yes and- I really hated the idea."

"I hate the idea of saying yes to Jack too." You quip. Kurt chuckles and you're glad that at least some of the tension has been cut by the joke.

"So- what happens now?"

"Now we go back in there and pretend this didn't happen because- I want us to figure things out before we tell everyone else." You say.

"Okay, but what does figuring things out look like?" Kurt asks.

"A date. How's Friday?"

"I can do Friday." He nods.

"Okay, good, I'll meet you in the foyer at 8?"

"Where are we going?"

"Wherever the night takes us." You shrug.

"How do I dress for that?"

"Something you'll be comfortable in."

"Okay. Friday. 8pm. Now we go back in there and be normal?"

"Yep. Until at least Friday at 9."

"What happens after 9?"

"Depends on how the date's going."

"Cool- you should head back first you've been gone longer." Kurt suggests.

"Good idea. See you in a few." You say leaving the kitchen. You're a little confused on how that all just happened but you're pretty sure you have to thank Logan for that? You're not totally sure why yet, but later, when you're alone with your thoughts and able to dissect this whole evening properly, you'll hopefully understand what the hell just took place.

***

#marvel #marvel fanfiction #xmen #xmen nightcrawler #nightcrawler fluff #nightcrawler x reader #nightcrawler #kurt wagner x reader #kurt wagner

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ripdragonbeans · 8 months ago

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Zeno's Paradox // modern!Aemond x reader (2/2)

•Aemond x Reader, Aemond x Floris, Jace x reader•

Summary: You and Aemond instantly clicked when you met at university. So why did he choose Floris instead of you?

TW (overall): afab reader, p in v, oral (f receiving), swearing, talk of violence, talk of losing a body part

Part 1

You and Jace had a plan for every day. Every morning you'd meet up with him at the cafeteria. He'd sit close enough to you that your knees would be touching. Any time you talked your heads would be bent down and close, giving the illusion of wanting to be only with each other and no one else.

It took a few days but finally Aemond and Floris showed up one morning for breakfast. Seeing them hurt your heart. You looked at Jace and nodded.

“Let's go then,” Jace smiled. “I'm gonna say a joke and you're gonna laugh like it's the funniest shit you've ever heard.” He cleared his throat. “What's red and bad for your teeth?”

Oh gods.

“A brick!”

You looked Jace dead in the eye with absolutely no amusement. “Seriously?”

“Just laugh,” he whispered.

As you saw Aemond and Floris get closer you let out the biggest laugh you could muster, without it sounding fake, of course.

“Hahahahahaha!” There was pain in your eyes but you did your best to smile like it was the best joke you’ve ever heard. “Gods, I love your jokes.”

Placing your hand on top of his, you interlaced your fingers just as Aemond and Floris came up to your table.

Aemond looked at your hands then flitted between you and Jace.

“Is he bothering you again?” Aemond asked.

“No, why would you ask that?” You cocked your head to the side and moved closer to Jace.

“Last time we talked to him you were pissed beyond reason.”

“Well, things change. People change, Aemond. And I found myself wanting to get closer. He’s much nicer when you’re not around. He’s been a big help in my Eyes of the Seven class. Right, Jace?”

Jace smiled at you. “Yeah, and you’ve been helping me, too. Studying with you is one of the best moments in my life. And now I can call you mine.”

He leaned in and kissed your cheek. You were watching Aemond closely. His face was neutral but you knew him and his eyes were angry. A muscle in his jaw ticked.

“Well…congrats I guess. I'll see you around,” he ground out.

Aemond tried to leave quickly but you held him right where he was. You weren't going to let him go that easily.

“You're not going to eat breakfast with us? It's a nice morning!” You offered. “Floris? What do you think?”

“Oh, let's eat breakfast with them, Aemy,” Floris pleaded.

Fucking “Aemy?”

Aemond was hesitant. “Fine.”

As the pair went off to get their food you and Jace talked quickly.

“First off,” you started, “that joke was stupid. Second, good call on the kiss. Aemond hated that,” you grinned.

“Hey, that joke was funny!” Jace defended himself. “I saw the way he was looking at you. It's been a long time since I've seen him that pissed. I don't know if Floris could even tell.”

“That just goes to show how much she doesn't know him. She shouldn't be with him, they don't compliment each other.” A beat. “I swear, Aemond hasn't been himself since they started dating.”

“I'll agree that he hasn't, at least the few times I've seen him. He's stuck to Floris’ side.”

“Love that,” you dead panned.

“We're back!” Floris sang.

“Great,” you said through gritted teeth.

“So, tell us how you two started dating!”

Aemond sat down. “Yeah, how did you start dating?”

You looked at Jace and put a loving smile on your face. “He comforted me one night. I was having a really bad day, heard some terrible news, and he found me,” you moved your focus to Aemond. “He was there when no one else was and I'm so thankful for that.”

“We started hanging out more and the rest is history,” Jace pulled you in close and you leaned your head on his shoulder.

There was a tense silence. Aemond stared at you intensely trying to get a read on you. You put up your walls and gave him a shy smile. You nuzzled in closer to Jace.

“Aw, that's so sweet!” Floris broke the silence. “I know Aemy told you how we got together so I won't bore you with our story.”

Our story.

It hurt. It hurt so much. You felt like you were in a fucking Taylor Swift music video.

Jace looked at you and saw your face devoid of color. “You okay, babe?”

You coughed. “Yeah, yeah. Um, I think I just need to get to class. It's getting late, you know?”

“It's only seven forty-five and you haven’t eaten,” Floris tried to get you to stay.

“Yeah, and my class is at eight and I finished eating before you guys got here,” you tried to get away but she stopped you in your tracks.

“Oh, you and Aemond have that class together, right?”

Fuck.

“Yeah, we do, but I was gonna go ahead. He can stay here with you. He doesn't have to come with me.”

“Nonsense! I know you two haven't been able to hang out much since we started dating. He just always wants to be by my side,” Floris laughed and turned to Aemond. “Go on, Aemy.”

Standing there awkwardly you waited for Aemond to get up and join you on the walk to Psychology.

“Hey,” Jace tugged on your hand. “I'll see you after classes, yeah?” he pressed a kiss to the back of your hand.

Despite Jace being an asshole to Aemond in their childhood you couldn’t help but find a friend in him, especially now. The dating might be fake but the two of you have grown to care about the other.

“Yeah,” you offered him a small smile.

You turned and left the cafeteria with Aemond but as soon as you were outside you picked up the pace, hoping to lose him. If he really wanted to talk to you he'd catch up. When you thought he wasn't going to even try, you slowed down; believing yourself to be far enough away from him. But you heard his footsteps as you neared the classroom door. He grabbed your arm and turned you to face him.

“Can we talk about this?” he whispered.

You refused to look him in the eye. “What's there to talk about? You're with Floris and I'm with Jace, end of story.”

“Exactly! You're with Jace! Why would you even think of him?”

“Because, like I said, Aemond, he was there for me when no one else was.”

“What about me? Why didn't you come to me.”

“You were busy.”

“How could you know that? I haven't received any text or message from you since Floris and I started dating.”

“I didn't need to text you to know you were busy. I saw you. You and Floris aren't exactly discreet,” you spat out.

Realization hit him. “Are you jealous of Floris?”

“I never said anything about being jealous, I just said I saw you were busy. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to take my seat in the classroom.”

“Wait.” He grabbed your arm once more. “There’s nothing serious between me and Floris. We’re just dating.”

“It seemed pretty serious when you were eating her face.”

“You know that doesn’t mean -”

“Are you trying to explain why you haven’t been around me? Because if you are, you’re failing badly.” The anger you’ve been repressing began to bubble up. “Ever since you started dating her you’ve left me. All we do is sit next to each other in class. We don’t talk. You don’t say anything in class anymore, either. You got with Floris and left me, Aemond. You fucking left me.”

You pushed yourself away from him and headed to a different seat, already occupied in front, behind, and next to you. Being next to Aemond would give him more opportunities to talk to you. As much as you wanted to talk to him, you didn't want to hear about how great him and Floris have been.

While you weren’t sitting next to him, you felt his gaze on you the entire time. Even when the professor was talking about Zeno’s Paradox, one of his favorites, he was still focused on you. It was cruel, how Zeno’s Paradox was the main lecture for today. Two points will never be together, there’s too many halfway points to make it. There’s always halfway to go.

You refused to look Aemond’s way. He sat in his usual seat, the one next to him vacant. You hoped it hurt him a bit, not sitting next to you. The entire time he’s been dating Floris you’ve been discarded. It wasn’t even until today, after prompting from Floris, that he talked to you. Maybe he felt guilty for leaving you and didn’t want to see what happened to you as a result. If that were the case, he was being weak.

Class dragged on and on. While there’s infinite halfway points, according to Zeno, it appeared the same for this lecture. You groaned loud enough for the professor to call on you.

“I’m sorry my lecture is boring you. Shall we wake up and play a trivia game?” the professor asked the class.

That woke up the class. Everyone was always willing to play a game rather than listen to a professor drone on and on, despite this professor being a very animated one. Class finished up with everyone playing the game. You tried the same strategy for leaving the room as when you tried to leave the cafeteria earlier. Quickly.

You made it out the door and down the hallway, heading for your dorm instead of your next class. Skipping one class wouldn’t hurt your grade too much. Besides, you really needed to get away from Aemond.

“Hey,” a voice called out.

You picked up the pace.

“Hey!”

You closed your eyes and sped up again. You didn’t want to see him, you didn’t want to talk to him. Once you opened the door to leave the building you sped off into a sprint. Tears were coming and you couldn’t stop them. You couldn’t let Aemond see them, as well. So, you went where you could only think of. Jace’s dorm.

“Wait up! Please! I want to talk!”

You shook your head. So close. You could see Jace leaving his dorm.

“Jace!” you yelled.

Jace looked up to see you running at him full force. He looked confused but when he saw Aemond speed walking behind you, he instantly understood. Opening his arms, you barreled straight into him.

“He’s following me. He wants to talk, Jace, and I don’t know if I can do it.” Tears were streaming down your face now.

“Do you want me to make him go away?”

Do I really want him to go away?

You nodded your head yes. Just for once, you didn’t want to be near Aemond Targaryen.

Jace cupped your face with his hands. “I’m going to kiss you.”

“Okay.”

He leaned down and captured your lips in a gentle kiss. It wasn’t rushed, it wasn’t awkward. It was simply nice. When the two of you broke away, you leaned your forehead on his.

“He’s just standing there,” he told you.

You pulled your head away from Jace and looked behind you. Aemond was there, watching you. You were close enough to see his shoulders fall but you could almost see something break inside him.

It was almost the end of the semester and nothing had changed. You and Jace were still “dating” and Aemond and Floris were still together. Floris would try to say hi to you and join you and Jace at meals but Aemond always pulled her away. It was clear he didn’t want anything to do with you.

Maybe it’s for the best.

Both of you were hurting, even though you didn’t know why he was. He should be happy. He was rid of you and had Floris.

“Hey, Jace,” you began. “I don’t think we need to fake date anymore.”

“You sure?” Jace looked at you with concern written all over his face.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“What’s up?”

“I’m just… I’m tired, you know?” Everything was tiring nowadays. “We leave for winter break next week. There’s no reason to keep it up,” you said mainly to yourself.

“...Okay. If you say so. Should we make a big deal out of breaking up?”

“Nah, I’m not eager for anyone to really care.”

“You mean you’re not eager for Aemond to care.”

You pinned him with a sharp look. “Shut up.”

“Look, as much as I’ve enjoyed pissing him off, it’s obviously doing something more to both of you. I know you and I didn’t get off on the best foot but I do care about you, as a friend, you know.” Jace took a breath. “Why don’t you talk to him?”

“It hurts. It hurts too much.”

Jace gave you a small smile. “You can do it. If anything, you can wait until after winter break; start new, you know?”

“Yeah, I like that idea.” You returned his smile with one of your own. “Thank you, Jace, really.”

You ended the semester without saying so much as goodbye to Aemond. You left quickly and quietly. Winter break wasn’t anything to be excited about. It was nice to be with family but that was it. Some old friends visited and they were able to help take your mind off of Aemond but he was always there. No matter what you did, all you could think about was Aemond. You wondered what Aemond was doing on his break. Was he with Floris? Was he with family?

You still cried frequently. You’ve been crying on and off since Aemond chased you and you ran to Jace. The tears should’ve stopped by now but they haven’t. It’s gotten to the point where you expected yourself to cry almost every night. It was normal now. At least the second semester would be a new start.

Spring semester began and you hoped to turn over a new leaf. You found Jace after you moved in.

“Hey, stranger,” you greeted him.

“You look a lot better than when I last saw you.” He pulled you into a hug.

“I feel a lot better. New semester, new me, right?”

“If that’s what you need to tell yourself, yeah.”

The two of you continued talking, catching up on the month and a half you were away from each other. Jace spent his break with his family, his whole family, including his adoptive dad. Apparently his family was a little confusing as well. His mom had an affair with a coworker and she got pregnant with Jace, but it was all okay. The guy she had Jace, and her two other children, with died in a tragic fire but her husband was quick to adopt and love them all the same.

You and Jace decided to eat dinner at the cafeteria, as sad as the food could be. Joking around and laughing, you were having a great time. Until he showed up. Jace was in the middle of telling a story about Luke and Joffrey when he stopped mid sentence.

“Jace? What’s wrong?” You were confused.

Someone cleared their throat behind you. You turned around and froze. It was him. Aemond Targaryen.

“Hey, can we talk?” Aemond looked directly at you.

You glanced at Jace and he gave you a reassuring nod. “Yeah, sure.”

You stood, urging Aemond to follow you to a spot against the wall.

“So..” you started.

“I broke up with her,” the words flew out of his mouth.

“You - what?”

“I broke up with Floris. You were right, I was pulling away from you because of her and I didn’t like that. She never tried to get me away from you, she wanted me to still be friends with you, but I found myself being scared of that for some reason. Instead, I plastered myself next to her. I found, I don’t know, some kind of structure when I was with her? Order? It was nice but it wasn’t as nice when I was hanging out with you.”

“And how did… Floris,” you still hated to say her name, “take it?”

“She said it was okay, surprisingly.”

“And now?”

“And now I want to be with you. I fucked up. I fucked up so badly. I left you when I shouldn't have. Being scared of being close to you is no excuse for how I treated you,” he sighed. “And I want you, I really want you. All of you.”

“How do I know you're not going to leave me? I don't know if I could take you leaving me again.”

“You'll just have to trust me.”

“Trust you? Trust you with my heart?”

“Yes. And I will cherish it and take of you and I will always be by your side. Please.”

“...I'll think about it.” You had already made up your mind but he didn't need to know that right now.

“Well, what about you and Jace?”

“Me and Jace? We’re fine. We broke up, too. No bad feelings between us, just figured we’d be better as friends,” you shrugged. You weren’t going to tell him it was all fake.

Yet.

There was a comfortable silence.

“Have you thought about it?”

“Maybe you should ask me properly so you can get the full answer” you teased.

“Let me start over then,” he cleared his throat. “Can I ask you a question?”

“You already did but sure, go ahead.”

There was a twinkle in his eye. “Will you go out with me?”

You put a hand up. “You just told me you broke up with someone, found out I broke up with someone and you immediately want to fall into a new relationship?”

“Would it be new though? There was something between us when we first met.”

“Yeah, and then you went off to date someone else.” You rolled your eyes.

“I messed up, I know that now.” He took your hand. “Give me a chance, please?”

“Wow, I don’t know. I kind of like it when you beg. Do it again and maybe I’ll say yes.”

Aemond smirked and got down on his knees. “Please, go out with me?”

“I like the sight of you on your knees.” You leaned down to whisper in his ear. “Maybe I’ll ask you to do it again when we’re in my dorm.”

He looked up at you with hope on his face. “Is that a yes?”

“Yes. Yes, Aemond, I will go out with you.”

A smile broke out when he stood up and gathered you in his arms.

“May I kiss you?” he pulled away slightly to see your face.

“I’d be a little upset if you didn’t.”

You met him halfway, leaning up to capture his mouth with yours. It was soft but there was so much emotion poured into it. It was just like what you thought it would be. His mouth moved seamlessly against yours; it was pure bliss. Aemond’s hand went around your waist to pull you closer but was stopped by someone whistling and clapping.

You broke away from the kiss, leaning forward to rub the tip of your nose with his. You looked around for the source of the whistle.

There he was, Jace standing up and clapping. “Whew! You did it! Now get a room!”

You laughed and pulled Aemond away, taking him to your dorm building. As soon as you arrived at your door, you pulled him in for another kiss, this one a little harder than the first. Somehow you got your key into the lock and let yourself fall into your room. Aemond kicked the door closed without breaking away from you.

“I have to tell you something,” you said between kisses.

“Whatever it is, it can wait. I want these clothes off you so I can get back down on my knees.”

“Fucking hell, Aemond, when you put it like - fuck.”

Aemond ran a hand up your body and cupped your breast. You arched into his touch.

“There we go,” he praised you. “It’s just you and me.”

You whimpered when he snuck both his hands under your shirt to take it off.

“No bra? What a bad girl,” he smirked as he leaned down to take a nipple in his mouth.

“Oh, fuck, Aemond. That feels good.”

“Mhm,” he hummed against you.

You backed your way to your bed and he gladly followed, briefly letting go to take his shirt off as well. Leaning back on the bed you admired his body. Aemond was toned and had a happy trail that certainly made you happy. You rose up on your knees and brought him back down in a searing kiss.

“I want all of you,” he murmured against your lips.

A hand traveled down to your core over your shorts where he gently pressed it against you. Once again, you found yourself arching into his touch.

“So responsive,” he chuckled. “I bet you’re fucking wet. Is that right?” He drew circles over your shorts before diving under them.

“Aemond,” you moaned.

“Hm?”

“I want you to touch me.”

“Baby, I am touching you. I even sucked on your nipples. You want more?”

“Yes, please.”

He brought his mouth back to your tits, sucking on one nipple while his other hand ripped your shorts.

“No panties, either? Tsk, tsk, tsk, you’re really a bad girl.” He dipped his fingers into your core. “I was right, you’re fucking soaked.”

Aemond pumped you full with his fingers. You couldn’t help but moan and find a rhythm with him. When he took his fingers out you frowned. He brought them to your mouth.

“Suck,” he commanded.

You did as he said, tasting yourself on him. You released his fingers with an obscene pop.

“Now it’s time for me to eat that pussy of yours. Spread your legs wide, baby.”

You immediately did what you were told. The air was cold against your core but Aemond was quick to remedy that. He kissed his way up your thighs, never really going where you wanted him.

“Aemond, please,” you begged.

You felt his smile against your thigh.

“Don’t be such a tease - oh!”

His tongue flicked your clit and pleasure surged through your body. He ate you like a man starved. When he stuck one finger in you, you moaned; when he added a second and third, you arched into him; when he found that special spot inside you, you screamed.

Aemond was quick to cover your mouth with his hand and lifted his head up briefly. “Quiet, baby, we don’t want to get caught, do we? Or maybe the thought of that excites you.”

He went back to your drenched pussy, licking and sucking everything he could.

“Fucking hell, Aemond. Please, I need you inside me!”

“As you wish,” he said against your thigh.

He gave you one last kiss before slipping off his pants and underwear.

Fuck, he’s big.

Your eyes widened at his size and your mouth watered. You wanted, no, needed him inside you.

“I have an IUD, so don’t worry if you come inside me,” you told him.

“Oh, now I’m excited.” He gave you a wicked grin.

Aemond lined himself up with you and rubbed his cock against your slit. Fuck, it felt so good. He slowly pushed himself into you. It was pure bliss. He was so big but you took him in.

“There we go. What a good girl,” he praised. “You feel so fucking good.”

All you could do was nod. You didn’t trust yourself to form coherent words.

He started pumping into you, picking up the pace when you matched a rhythm with him. Aemond leaned forward, holding himself just above you, and pressed his forehead against yours.

“Fuck, this feels so right. You were made for me.”

After a few more thrusts he pulled out of you and you whined.

“On your hands and knees, baby. I want that ass in the air.”

You turned over on your stomach and shook your ass for him. When he slapped it a moan slipped out.

“You like it when I spank you? I’ll keep that in mind for next time.” He rubbed the spot he smacked you and then kissed it.

“You have such a beautiful ass. Fuck, and your pussy. All for me.”

As he sank his cock deep into you, you almost screamed. This angle was so much better, you could feel all of him. You rocked back to meet him with each thrust. Aemond’s breathing was becoming ragged and you could feel yourself near your peak. He brought a hand around to play with a nipple.

“Touch your clit for me,” he ordered.

You were quick to do as he said. It brought you closer to your orgasm and it felt so damn good.

“Aemond, you’re gonna make me come!”

“Hold onto it baby, I want you to come with me.”

He started rutting against you hard, each thrust becoming more and more erratic. You never let up on rubbing your clit. You were squeezing him hard. You knew you were close. You knew he was close.

“Fuck, fuck, baby. Come with me,” he almost begged.

“FUCK!” you came hard squeezing his cock as he spilled himself inside you.

Aemond collapsed on top of you, breathing hard. For a few minutes the two of you just lay there together in pure bliss. He kissed your cheek before sliding himself out of you and rolling over to the side.

“So, how do you like dating me so far?” he asked.

“Oh, shut up, asshole.” You playfully swatted him.

“Come on,” he got off the bed and held out a hand for you. “Let’s shower so we can sleep.”

“Together? Already?” You gasped dramatically.

“Yes.” He pinched you when you stood up and took his hand.

As you started up the shower, Aemond came up and hugged you from behind. “You said earlier you needed to tell me something?”

“Oh, yeah, that. Please don’t get mad at me,” you laughed.

He gave you a skeptical look.

“Jace and I were never dating. It was all fake. I did it to piss you off.”

Aemond buried his head in your neck. “You can be such a snake,” he chuckled. “But I’m glad it was fake. I hated the thought of you being with him.”

“And now I’m yours.” You kissed his cheek.

“And now you’re mine.” He stepped away and pulled you into the shower.

“Promise me you won’t leave me again?” you asked after a few moments under the water.

“Never again, I promise.”

#fics by bean #hotd modern au #aemond x reader #modern!aemond #modern!aemond x reader #aemond targaryen

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m4rs-ex3 · 2 months ago

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so naturally i was up at 1am the other night watching tdp related youtube videos and i figured i'd watch the 2020 comic con panel since it'd been a while and oh my god some of this shit

(also just me talking about how much i love this cast)

"IT IS I, DARK_MAGE_DAD420" i cannot believe that is real

aaravos: "if i want to do a screen call, i must perform a cosmic blood ritual. with a mortar and pestle. AND FLOATING KNIVES" you are fucking kidding me (edit: i realize that pertains to what he did in s2 but still like "cosmic" "ritual" "knives"? cmon)

jason simpson playing the ukulele. that's all.

jack: *talking about how he had a baby in quarantine* eric: i've been doing a lot of gardening... uh i haven't had a baby, but you never know! i mean if it's possible through social distancing aaron: if anybody can make that happen through social distancing it's aaravos you are F U C K I N G KIDDING ME

racquel: some fun things i did- i uhh died my own hair and burned my scalp and i would like to inform you all it's finally healed and we're good to go, i'm ready to do it again! i'm obsessed with the fact that racquel is quite literally claudia irl

the ttm read is awesome. jack came with the Rayla Voice fucking PREPARED oh my god

i don't think i've ever actually talked about the dnd sketch but it is one of my favorite things in the entire world

rayllum in this sketch is amazing particularly callum he is SO down bad like "my character is a mysterious elf assassin with two beautiful blades to match my two beautiful eyes~~ ✨" like hello that's canon idc if it's a sketch that is canon

"my character cannot help but look at her. he locks eyes with rayla's mage" "....there will be time for roleplaying later" HELLO THATS GOLD

viren in this skit is genuinely one of the funniest things i've ever seen. i cannot emphasize enough this is comedy

necromancer ezran. i think about him daily.

s: "i start swinging my sword at, uhh, idk, rayla's mage" r: "WAIT WHAT" c: "uh wait wait i take it back MY SWORDS GLEAM INTO THE LIGHT AS I LEAP TO THE DEFENCE OF THE BEAUTIFUL MAGE!" s: "hey no takebacks!" sibling ass fight i love them

"LIKE WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY DO?"

i rolled a 1 😐

i loot their corpses for blood >:D

"do elves have four toes?" "i always assumed that they would have 6 so they could learn how to count to 20" paula my love

someone get sasha some hamantaschen

i don't need arc 3 actually i just need the beta script including as many guns n roses references as possible

racquel: ok call me crazy, call me crazy... jesse: you're crazy, racquel racquel: THANK YOU FINALLY they are literally just them

"I WILL NOT BE POSTING A SINGLE THING ABOUT ICE, FOR I AM JULIA" (okay but.... venous frigoris anyone?)

paula: ugh, no one likes soren jesse: well no one likes rayla racquel: you two should fight 😈

long hard sigh

bonus: jason: literally no one likes viren so let's move on

"how old is bait?" "sasha, how old do you think bait is?" "3."

"is-is a glow toad kinda like a toad?" "................kind of"

i fucking love sasha have i ever mentioned that i fucking love sasha

"i think that he's 56." "either 3 or 56 only, apparently"

the saga announcement is great i love how everyone's is so excited they don't even know all of their characters are about to be destroyed physically and emotionally

the way aaron says it so fucking funny "is there gonna be a season 4?" "uh so i think it's really important to emphasize: yes-"

"i too want to cry" "just cry, just-" "IT'S A PANDEMIC. NO TEARS. THERE'S NO CRYING IN A PANDEMIC." "...where is this rule coming from?"

and finally there were a handful of moments that i could not do justice by transcribing in a post so here is a masterfully edited compilation i made

#i think no matter how similar a va's speaking voice is to their character that there's always at the very least *some* differentiation #even when it's just the tone/cadence that makes things distinct #but jesse just talks EXACTLY like soren in every way and it's so trippy #tdpo #tdp #the dragon prince #continuethesaga #giveusthesaga

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jackhues · 2 years ago

Text

ferrari?! - charles leclerc

request: hii I loved your wolff!reader x charles ig concept could you please write more of them<33

requested by: anon : )

notes: trying out some new things, hope you guys like it, and pls don't be silent readers!! thanks for requesting <3

join my f1 taglist!

part one

pictures are not mine!

y/nwolff

liked by scuderiaferrari, lucawolff, pierregasly & others

y/nwolff - charles has got dad's approval, ferrari on the other hand... also, luca's a pain, i don't recommend having older brothers. check out the full video on my youtube! tagged lucawolff

pierregasly: did you guys take him on vacation to tell him?? -> y/nwolff: we needed him to be a little bit happy. i had no idea how he was going to react

lucawolff: older brothers are goated -> y/nwolff: i'd like to return mine

y/nisqueen: the pinky promise 🥺 liked by y/nwolff

charles_leclerc: so am i allowed to be in his vision or will he destroy me on sight?? -> y/nwolff: you can be in his vision lmaoo -> charles_leclerc: really? -> lucawolff: don't listen to her, she's lying -> y/nwolff: go away luca! but just to be on the safe side charlie, you should probably be near me so that his (nonexistent) anger dies down -> charles_leclerc: this isn't boosting my confidence -> userone: charlie 🥺🥺

usertwo: this is the toto content we signed up for!

userthree: luca and y/n are the best siblings on this app, love them!!

userfour: bestie, when's the new music coming?? liked by y/nwolff -> y/nwolff: we'll see 🤭

conangray: why is this the funniest thing i've ever seen?? liked by y/nwolff -> oliviarodrigo: it's true, he hasn't stopped laughing for twenty minutes

f1newsandmore

liked by userone, usertwo, userthree & others

f1newsandmore: Toto Wolff and Charles Leclerc spotted before the race. After the video of Toto reacting to his daughter, Y/N Wolff, dating Charles Leclerc, we're all dying to know just exactly what this conversation was about. tagged charles_leclerc, y/nwolff

userone: toto explaining to charles that he's not good enough for y/n while he's with ferrari -> usertwo: and charles zoning out the second he heard y/n's name liked by charles_leclerc

userthree: i'm so invested in this entire thing -> userfour: aren't we all??

y/nwolff

liked by mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton, oliviarodrigo & others

y/nwolff: dad, i promise i'm still a mercedes girl 📷 : charles_leclerc 🤍

lucawolff: says she's a mercedes girl, tags a ferrari boy -> y/nwolff: if you took the pictures like i asked, you'd get the creds

charles_leclerc: the ferrari bracelet is saying otherwise -> y/nwolff: charles!! shh!! -> userone: LMAO! y/n's fighting for her life and charles out here exposing her

lewishamilton: mercedes >> ferrari -> y/nwolff: LOUDER FOR THE PPL IN THE BACK!

landonorris: mclaren >>> -> y/nwolff: boo 👎👎

y/nisqueen: YOU LOOK STUNNING! liked by y/nwolff -> y/nwolff: mwah 🥰

y/nwolff has posted on their story!

caption: 🤍

charles_leclerc

liked by lucawolff, conangrey, pierregasly & others

charles_leclerc: date night! (with toto's approval) tagged y/nwolff

y/nwolff: can't believe you didn't post the vid of me throwing you in the water -> charles_leclerc: i need to at least try and look cool on social media love -> userone: no one cares if you look cool! we wanna see the vid! liked by y/nwolff -> y/nwolff: don't worry, i gotchu -> charles_leclerc: i'm concerned -> lucawolff: no one told you to vote yes when she asked if she should make a yt channel -> charles_leclerc: y/n literally told me to -> lucawolff: this is where being a simp gets you -> y/nwolff: get out of my bf's comments or i'll post the vids from your last bday party -> userone: I LOVE THIS!

lucawolff: is no one gonna ask for my approval??! -> y/nwolff: no -> lucawolff: rude -> charles_leclerc: you literally covered for us for months, the approval had been given -> lucawolff: oh yeah -> usertwo: lmaoo luca tryna start shit but it didn't work!

userthree: time to pack my bags and sleep on the highway

userfour: they're so cute!

userfive: god, when will it be my turn?? 😭😭

part one

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literallymyflowersstuff · 21 days ago

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the funniest thing to me in the whole hayffie/effie trinket hate discourse is the "but THE ACTRESS pushed for the ship to happen" and "woody and elizabeth just acted on their attraction to each other using the movies as an excuse" arguments. that's so weird

elizabeth banks is mostly known for comedy, and the fact that they were casting a comedic actress for the role of effie already shows that the character was planned as a comedic relief amidst a very dark storyline, whether elizabeth herself had any say in it or not.

and now, of course an actor provides their own vision of the character they play. elizabeth did say things in her interviews that rubbed me the wrong way (e.g. her words about hayffie being a classic rom com story or whatever), but she had good points as well, even if you could say that she doesn't "get" effie

however being an actor also means that you follow the script and directions given to you - and all the improvisation you do is either approved of or discarded. so, all of the flirtatious remarks and kissing had probably not only been approved by the creative leads, but also encouraged. and if we remember that suzanne collins took part in the movies' creation and even pushed for effie to be in the mockingjay...

I absolutely agree that the movies are very flawed - the whitewashing, the erasure of katniss' relationships with other women, peeta's forgotten amputation, the list goes on. I belive that they did distort effie's character - they made her more lovable, and while she is a lovely side character, that diminished the point she has in the plot significantly. she hardly faces any hostility from district people, roams the 13 loudly and proudly as if she's not the very face of the cruelty coin's regime despises... lol I love the concept of effie in 13, but really the way it was handled is meh

you could dislike effie trinket and hayffie, sure. yet implying that all of this is some great misinterpretation of the books is strange as the author of the original source material was sitting by and only adding fuel to the fire. indeed, that was fan service if I've ever seen it and Elizabeth's portrayal of effie and the hayffie snippets are a part of the reason why a casual hunger games enjoyer remembers the movies fondly, so it could be said that the actors did just what was required of them.

the books are from katniss' pov, and as the girl couldn't care less about dear effie (not that she should have lol), we have a lot of things up to our own imagination. to my mind, effie could be a great insight into the horrors of manufactured womanhood or the way the totalitarian regime swallows whole even its poster children. to outright write her off as evil or one-dimensional just doesn't sit right with me.

as a side note, I just love it when people go "oh but that's all because of the Elizabeth banks' misunderstanding of the character". somewhere I've seen an actual "do not condone her crush on woody!" lol. while woody harrelson is not bashed as much for the whole thing.. even though he was clearly and very enthusiastically on board with it.. comes off as a bit misogynistic to me... hahah just a piece of mind

#effie trinket #hayffie

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fandom-junk-drawer · 4 months ago

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The Witcher Headcanon - Witcher Senses: Smell

Jaskier knows a great many things about Witchers, many of which are common knowledge, like their enhanced vision, strength, etc. Some are known only to him. For example, he is probably the only human being that knows Witchers pur, and like chin/cheek skritches. And catnip makes their pupils dilate and makes them see gods.

Jaskier doesn't count those as enhancements, they are more like bonus features.

Jaskier knows Geralt's sense of smell, like his hearing, is likewise far better than a human's.

Geralt can tell where he's been just by the scents he's picked up while on his outings in town.

Geralt: You're late. Stopped at Vespula's on the way back, didn't you?

Jaskier: *stammering, sputtering*

Geralt: You smell like laundry soap and hanky-panky

Jaskier: *offended bard noises*

He can tell when he is ill by his scent.

"You smell off."

"How rude!"

Geralt can tell what Jaskier got drunk off by the way his sweat smells as his body metabolizes the alcohol.

His nose is sensitive enough to pick up on Jaskier's moods by how his scent changes.

Having a sensitive sense of smell does have it's drawbacks. Strong smells are even more pungent. Smells like some of Jaskier's perfumes and scents. Sometimes the bard just uses way too much, or uses one that is just nauseating.

And of course, there's the embarrassing, uncontrollable reaction he has when he encounters an unfamiliar smell.

Jaskier got to see it for the first time one spring, and it was the funniest d*mn thing he'd seen in a while.

Jaskier met Geralt outside of Vengerberg. He'd hugged his companion, and was confused by Geralt's reaction.

Geralt: *smelling a new scent on Jaskier*

Geralt's brain: What's that smell? We haven't smelled that before. Time to analyze!

Geralt: *mouth open, upper lip raised*

Jaskier: What the f**k is that face?

Geralt: Hm! *awkward*

Sorry, I've just never seen you make that face before.

Geralt had given him The Look. The Look that meant he had just revealed something personal he had not wished to share, and that if Jaskier opened his mouth to ever mention it, he would be missing all his teeth.

"Is that a Geralt thing, or a Witcher thing?"

"Witcher" Geralt reluctantly grumbled, more embarrassed when he realized that he was sniffing Jaskier again.

Jaskier realized that Geralt was scenting the perfume he'd bought that morning at the market and decided to try out.

"It's my perfume." He supplied, " It's lavender and rosemary, with a little bergamot. It's not too strong, is it?"

"No. Just didn't recognize the scent combination..."

Jaskier hummed in understanding, promising that he would keep the secret of the Stink Face. He gleefully filed that information away. And Jaskier, being the little hellion is his, decides to find rare scent combinations to expose Geralt to.

For research purposes. Yeah. Purely for educational purposes.

It was hard to find smells that Geralt was unfamiliar with. He had lived a long time, and had a huge olfactory library of scents. He could tell monsters apart just from how their guts smelled.

Jaskier was going to have to try harder if he wanted to get Geralt to make what he'd dubbed the Stink Face again.

And he had to play it cool. Couldn't let the gloomy b**tard know what he was doing! Good thing Geralt was well aware of his love for fashionable toiletries!

Nothing to see here, folks, just a bard that loves his personal grooming items! Nothing suspicious going on here!

Jaskier begins visiting every market in every town they stop at, buying the latest toiletries, and trying them out in their rented room or at camp. Often times shoving the items under Geralt's nose to get his "opinion."

"Oh, that smells nice! Don't you think this smells nice, Geralt?"

Geralt: *Stink Face*

Jaskier *internally*: Haha, YES!

Jaskier *externally pretending not to have noticed*: What do you think?

Yes, it is a light, fresh scent! I agree!

*offended gasp* What do you mean "Not strong enough to cover up the stink of my ball sweat"?

That was uncalled for, Geralt!

Geralt had just 'hmmed' smuggly and turned to finish brushing Roach.

The next item Jaskier had purchased had been a new scent that even he'd never smelled. It was lavender, mixed with something called 'vanilla'.

Ooh, lavendar and vanilla! Let's see what that smells like!

Oh. Oh, wow. *cough* That's a bit strong!

Whew! It's really, just wafting right out!

Geralt, clear on the other side of the camp: *instant Stink Face*

"What the f**k-!" He'd snarled after his brain had cataloged the smell

"It's got 'vanilla' in it," Jaskier explained, noting the frown on Geralt's face, "it's some kind of bean from across the sea! It smells sweet, right?"

"It's f***ing strong!"

Jaskier, for some reason, was mildly offended at the comment, and quipped "Haha, yeah, I figured I needed something strong enough to cover up the stink of my ball sweat--!"

Geralt brandished the leather belt he used to tie up his bedroll, waving it threateningly.

Jaskier *grinning rakishly*: Ooh, are you threatening me with a good time?

Roach had made a sound that was suspiciously similar to a human chuckle, and Geralt had glowered at her.

Et tu, Roach?

He settles for slapping the bard on the back of the head.

Jaskier inadvertantly gets his revenge days later, and finds out another thing about Witchers. They hated citrus.

Geralt knows Jaskier has bought another bath product to try out when he comes up the stairs with the serving girls laden with the tub and buckets of hot water.

Geralt goes down to check on Roach while Jaskier bathes. When he comes back, ready to lie down and sleep, Jaskier is finished, and...

And the f**ker STINKS! It's got a very noticably citrus quality to it.

Jaskier: Geralt, what's wrong?

Geralt: *face twisting up*

Jaskier *trying not to laugh*: Er, Geralt?

Geralt: What the ever-loving f**k is that smell?

"It's the latest soap scent! It's orange blossom!

Geralt was not happy about the citrus scent. He hated the smell of citrus! And this little ar**hole had just bathed in the wretched stuff! The sweet smell of the vanilla couldn't keep the citrus tang from stinging his nostrils.

Geralt had opened the window, crawled into bed, and covered his nose with the blanket. He had to explain to the bard about Witchers hating citrus because it burned their sinuses.

Jaskier had had the decency to look ashamed, but even after profuse apologies had been made, Geralt had hissed at him and refused to allow him into the bed.

Jaskier ended up scrubbing himself down out in the laundry shed with hot water and plain, boring soap.

He was then subjected to a sniff test.

Jaskier: Did i get it all off?

Geralt,: *snuffling*

Jaskier: Do I pass?

"Hm." Geralt had grunted with a nod. "All i can smell is ball sweat."

*affronted bard noises*

#the witcher #the witcher netflix #twn #the witcher headcanon #geralt #geralt of rivia #jaskier #julian alfred pankratz #geraskier #henry cavill #witcher smell headcanon

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talkdutchtome · 1 year ago

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You Should Have Said No

chapter seven - enchanted

pairing . . . max verstappen x reader / pierre gasly x reader )

summary . . . when your fiancé cheats on you, you strike up an unusual friendship with one of his closest friends, who just so happens to have had a crush on you since he set eyes on you. chaos ensues.

inspired by the works of miss taylor swift )

genre . . . angst )

song . . . enchanted - taylor swift )

warning . . . cheating, mental illness, angst, eventual smut, poorly translated french and dutch, swearing, mention of parent loss, emotionally abusive parent, slight social media au, kendall jenner as fc (potentially more i’ll add as i go along)

a/n . . . so i took a bit of a hiatus, but upon returing i found i had written this chapter months ago and for some reason never published it, so here it is, more to come in the coming days )

Max Verstappen was usually a picture of confidence, there was very little that made him nervous; after all he spent his life driving at 200 miles an hour. Max was consistently cool, calm and collected no matter what he was doing, that’s just who he was. But as he stood in front of your apartment door, he felt a chill of uncertainty deep within. He had rehearsed his words a thousand times, but now, as he prepared to knock on the door, all eloquence seemed to escape him. Could he do this? Should he do this? Even though his friendship with you was still fresh, it had come to mean a lot to him, and if he did what he wanted to do, he was well aware that he could lose the newfound friendship. “It’s now or never” he spoke out loud to himself before finally gathering the courage to knock on the door. When the door swung open, revealing you stood there in your pajamas holding a rather large glass of wine, Max couldn’t help but second guess whether he should be doing this.

“Hey Max, I-” you started, trying to find a way to apologize for kissing him and then completely ghosting him immediately following the kiss, but was interrupted by the Dutchman’s voice cutting through.

“Wait, Y/N. Just let me get this out” His words hung in the air, heavy with anticipation, and you watched as he took a deep breath to steady himself. It was evident in the way his hands trembled that this was not an easy moment for him. Despite his anxiety, Max looked directly into your eyes, his sincerity shining through.

“30th of September 2017. That is the day that you and I met, I remember it like it was yesterday. Pierre and I knew each other from karting but when he got his seat at Toro Rosso, and you came with him to the Malaysian GP, we met each other for the first time. When I saw you for the first time, I thought you were the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my life, and when I got to know you, I realized that not only were you the most beautiful girl, but you were also the kindest and funniest girl too. But you were with Pierre.”

For a second Max stopped, wondering if it was too late to run away and pretend that this never happened. He couldn’t bring himself to look you in the eye, afraid of what he would see. You were frozen, slowly taking in every word he said.

“You were with Pierre, and I knew I needed to respect that. So, I ignored everything I knew I felt for you. I kept you at arms length as nothing more than Pierre’s girlfriend because I knew the more I got to know you to harder it would be to ignore how I felt. And I was right; because as I've spent more time with you, it’s made it impossible for me to pretend that this isn't how I feel. I know this is selfish of me, I know that the last thing you need right now is me making things more complicated for you after everything you’ve been through, but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that kiss. I can’t pretend anymore. You deserve so much more than how Pierre has treated you.”

Max's confession hung in the air, and as he finally looked into your eyes for the first time since he started speaking, his own were filled with trepidation. He feared that he might see disgust or anger in your expression, but what he found instead was a bewildered look, a mix of surprise and confusion. For a moment, silence prevailed as you tried to process the whirlwind of emotions that his words had stirred within you. Max, sensing your confusion, stammered out an apology. "I'm sorry, Y/N. I shouldn't have put you in this position." He took a step back, as if ready to retreat and give you space to collect your thoughts. "If you want me to go, just say the word."

You shook your head, still unable to find the right words. "No, Max, please stay," you finally managed to say softly. "I just need a moment to process all of this." You motioned for him to come back inside, and as he entered your home, the air was filled with a sense of uncertainty.

Max stood there, his gaze locked onto yours, and it was clear that he was waiting anxiously to hear what you had to say. You could see the nervous anticipation in his eyes, the way his fingers slightly trembled. It wasn't just your feelings that were in turmoil; Max's emotions were on display as well.

"Max," you began again, your voice wavering with raw honesty, "I would be lying if I said that I didn’t feel anything for you. But I’m just so confused." Your gaze dropped to the ground for a moment before returning to meet his earnest eyes. "I met Pierre when I was 13 and we’ve been together since, he was my first and only everything. So even though he hurt me more than I knew was possible, those feelings don’t just disappear”

You continued, trying to express the jumble of emotions swirling within you. "I like you, a lot. And the time we’ve spent together has been great, but I'm in a place where I have no idea what's going to happen with Pierre. It wouldn't be fair for me to lead you on when I'm still grappling with my own emotions."

Max nodded, his understanding gaze unwavering. "I get it, Y/N," he replied softly, his voice filled with empathy. "I don't expect you to have all the answers right away, and I don't expect you to suddenly be done with Pierre. But I also don't want to give up on the potential of what we might share." He took a deep breath, a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "So, if you're willing, could we start by going on a date? No expectations, no pressure. Just two people getting to know each other better."

Your heart swelled with a mix of emotions, but you needed to make sure he understood the complexity of your situation. You searched his eyes for any signs of hesitation and, finding none, you mustered a small, genuine smile. "Okay, Max," you replied, “If you’re sure you’re okay with me not really knowing what I’m doing, then I’d happily go on a date with you.”

As Max heard your tentative agreement to go on a date, a radiant smile spread across his face, illuminating his entire expression. It was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and his eyes sparkled with genuine happiness and relief. His excitement was palpable, and it showed in the way he couldn't contain a small, triumphant chuckle.

Max's voice, once tinged with nervousness, now carried a buoyant enthusiasm as he said, "Thank you, Y/N. I promise there's no rush, no pressure. We can take things as slow as you need. I'm just grateful for the chance." You truly didn’t know what was going to happen, you liked Max, but you loved Pierre. Things were pretty much as complicated as they could be, but Max had made you feel like it was okay that you were confused, it was okay that you didn’t know what you were doing.

Content that you had agreed to go on a date, Max stood up to leave and as he reached the door, you noticed a moment of hesitation in his gaze. It was as if he was contemplating something, and for a brief second, you thought he might lean in for a kiss. Your heart raced at the possibility, but then you saw the doubt flicker in his eyes, and his lips curved into a warm, sincere smile. He decided to step closer and envelop you in a gentle hug.

The embrace was warm and comforting, and as Max held you, you couldn't help but feel a wave of happiness wash over you. There was something undeniably exciting about the prospect of this new chapter, despite the complicated circumstances that had led to it. The mix of emotions that had coursed through you during the day seemed to have settled into a pleasant anticipation.

As you climbed into bed that night, you were amazed by the unexpected shift in your mood. Instead of feeling worried or stressed about the uncertain future, you were filled with excitement and happiness. Max's genuine interest and the possibilities that lay ahead left you with a sense of hope and a newfound joy that you hadn't anticipated.

Taglist - @lordperceval-16 @omarsiglia @tom-rec @hiraethrhapsody @barnestatic @ironmaiden1313 @dudenhaaa27 @aundercover @amalialeclerc @icarus-nex @reidsworld @simxican @idkiwantchocolatee @ruleroftheuniverse @faithm120601 @eugene-emt-roe @bicchaan @leclercdream @be-your-coffee-pot @pjofics @yunnie-f1 @girlintheredscarf @larastark3107 @rosalysaoirse @mycenterfold @janeholt3 @daddyslittlevillain @gaslysainz @princessria127 @laneyspaulding19 @fangirl125reader

#f1 x reader #max verstappen #formula 1 #pierre gasly #pierre gasly x reader #max verstappen x reader #pierre gasly x y/n #pierre gasly x oc #max verstappen x oc #max verstappen x y/n #f1 fanfic #fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 x you #formula one x reader #f1 imagine

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pussyluvr2000 · 2 months ago

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I've been on a trout kick lately. I can't remember what the hell we were looking at (a bird or a beetle maybe?), but I said to my girlfriend, "the spots on [??] Are so beautiful. It reminds me of rainbow trout." To which she replied, "Girl who has only ever seen trout." And i think that's among the funniest things she's ever said to me. Delivery was really good. You kinda had to be there.

Anyway i scribbled one because it sparked joy. Scribbling, sketching, making art without really having a goal or judgment also sparks joy.

#personal #my art #sketch #fish #girlfriendposting #diary

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drinkthehalo · 1 month ago

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Goodbye to the McKittrick Hotel

April 16, 2011. My friend Tammy had told me she'd seen an incredible production of Macbeth that she was certain I would love. I walked into the McKittrick Hotel that Saturday night with no idea that I was entering a place that would change my life forever.

What an extraordinary, fruitful place of creative energy it was. How wild, almost unbelievable, that such a place survived in New York City for nearly fourteen years.

My first impression: You have to walk around and climb stairs and wear a mask? How can you do Shakespeare without dialog? Until I realized the dialog was in the dance, and the rave shocked my jaded sensibilities, and I was in a tiny room with a beautiful sobbing naked man, and then I went home and dreamed about it and knew I had to go back.

Then the parties. Halloween 2011 was the best event party I had ever been to - welcoming, engaging, fun. For fourteen years the McKittrick became my Halloweens, my New Years Eves, my May Fairs (I didn't even know that was a thing), that wonderful exhausting year of 2016 when they did Supercinema almost every month. The parties became more elaborate, the costumes, the set designs, the stories, the interactions, the performances. The Paisley Players, the epic ballroom extravaganzas, the tableaus in the walled garden...

Remixed (the first) remains the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. November Rain at the banquet. The Imperial March in the maze. Diamonds are Forever, forever...

The Boy Witch party made me cry and cry. Two nights only and it was probably the best thing I've ever seen. The carousel on the ballroom stage, the fire, the lady in pink tights, the lost love. Every time I hear that version of Crazy in Love, I feel that emotion again.

At the Clue party, Maximilian led us through the floors, and we watched Neil Patrick Harris chop off his own head in the Macbeth bedroom.

Fourth of July 2012, after the show, a marching band played as we climbed six floors to the roof to reveal a beautiful secret garden where we watched the fireworks. Gallow Green was magical in the early days, with Paul Corning's gardener watering plants and occasionally leading people away, and Annabella planting herbs and making potions with us.

One day after the show, Lulu put a stamp on my hand and told me to go to the elevator. I took it up and a character led me into the Heath for the first time. We'd go there for drinks or dinner, watch Elizabeth Lindsey glide through the space like watching a portal into a film noir, follow instructions on secret notes and hope to win the lottery. (Once I did; Ginger took me, blindfolded, to High Street, and I still have the memories of discombobulated absurdity - and a spoon with my name engraved on it.)

Then they put a cozy little Scottish lodge on the roof, with bunk beds and blankets and heaters, and a forest out back with a canoe? in a tent. We'd huddle around the fire pit, or sprawl on the bed. All the books were pre-1939. At some point there was a room full of board games. My friend Matty would sit at the desk writing his dissertation and people thought he was a character.

I watched Rosemary's Baby on the rooftop, curated by Amy Poehler, and Vertigo in the ballroom, shivering in the air conditioner.

Calloway started doing these "salons" in the Manderley after the show, with songs and narratives and recurring characters and Hans dying every time. Then one day the email said something about "McKittrick Follies," and I showed up and characters were singing and telling stories and everyone was drinking and talking into the night.

I can't believe we were so spoiled by that boundless creative energy for so long. For months? years? we had a weekly Follies, then... biweekly? Sunday afternoons we'd sit on the beds in the Lodge drinking mulled wine before going down to the Follies; then Wednesdays I'd work late and walk into the Manderley at 10pm, or go home and walk up the High Line to come back, listening to the show crowd's excited chatter as they exited, entering to music and humor and drinks that flowed and flowed and flowed. So much extraordinary talent, all concentrated in this one place and sparkling off of each other, creating and creating and creating.

Ginger was so funny. Lily's voice was beautiful. Mallory was the bawdiest thing. Nick's Maximilian was a true original. Conor and Austin were so awkward and snarky. JWW has the most dear, sweet, unique style. I can't list everyone; I can't believe we were blessed with so much.

There were so many incredible singers and musicians over the years. Kat Cunning. Lisa McQuade. Julia Haltigan. Stephanie Amoroso. Onalea Gilbertson. Every iteration of the Manderley band was full of wildly talented musicians. I was lucky enough to see Cibo Matto in the Heath, and Leslie Odom Jr in the Manderley. The place was absolutely punching above its weight in terms of talent.

I learned to drink in the Manderley bar. When I first went, the only drink I knew how to order was a Sex on the Beach. I had my first gin gimlet at the Manderley Bar. The Professor, Brandon Tyler Harris, asked me what gin I liked, and I didn't know, so I tried them all and discovered that it's Hendricks. Then I switched to smoky mezcal margaritas, and drank them for years, occasionally starting trends. Later it was scotch sours, smoky Laphroaig, heaven in a glass. At the Heath they'd had my all time favorite drink, long gone; something with Scotch, orgeat, and a cabernet float... I'm at the age now where I've largely had to stop drinking; the era of alcohol in my life will always be tied up in the McKittrick.

If it weren't for Sleep No More, I wouldn't have gone to London and made many of my dearest friends; would never have experienced Shanghai the way I did, with local friends to guide me.

Lily Ockwell brought me on the Manderley stage on my birthday. The lights were very bright. Could she have imagined how utterly terrified I was? In a good way.

At my 100th show, Kit/Ginger bought me a drink as soon as I walked in.

Gus from front of house overheard me talking about an upcoming trip to Shanghai and invited himself along. We had so much fun, we took a trip to Costa Rica the next year.

After my cat Lucifer died, London gave me the biggest hug as soon as he saw me.

At Austin Goodwin's Juilliard graduation performance, the whole evening was so beautiful. All these extraordinary young people who'd worked so hard, accomplished so much, brimming with possibility for their futures. I wanted so much to be one of the families, full of pride and love for someone I'd helped nurture. When I wrote a tumblr post wrestling with the decision to have a child, Austin sent me a message telling me he thought I'd make a good mother. It is one of the kindest things anyone has ever done for me, and helped me make one of the hardest decisions I've ever made.

Once on new years eve, Anabella gave me a Tarot card - Ten of Pentacles. I knew when I got that card that it was about my desire to have my own family, a child of my own. I put it on my fridge as inspiration and it's still there next to pictures of my kid.

I met my best friend on High Street, looking in the window of the tailor shop, watching Paul Zivkovich as a clown. This is the friend who is now in my will to take care of my child if I die.

I say I'm not creative, but the McKittrick brought out the creativity I do have. So many words in this blog. Several interviews for academic papers or articles. A box full of costumes in my closet: Andrea Alden in the Infidelity Ballet scene; Medusa out of a bunch of plastic snakes I painted and attached to a headdress; Vampire Willow; a Baz Luhrman Capulet; Mrs White. I see photos and find myself wearing costumes I don't even remember.

In early 2020, I hadn't been going to Sleep No More for a while, but when covid got scary, suddenly that's where I had to be. I was there until the day I showed up and the doors were closed.

I genuinely wonder, will I ever be as good at anything in my adult life as I was at following the Macbeth loop? I knew just where to stand, to view a perfect wide shot, to see a close up at a respectful distance. I loved to follow Macbeth down the corridor into the rave, a shadow halo'd in red, arms out against the tin walls. And to follow him out, running full speed, enraged and out of control as the music swelled and he went into the speakeasy to kill Banquo; there was no room for anything but adrenaline and utter absorption in the moment. To follow the Macbeths down the stairs as they screamed and shoved and kissed chocolate blood all over each others' faces. To stand still in the bedroom as they danced and fought around the room, the audience swarming around them, everything moving around me from close up to wide shot to close up.

Will anything bring as much peace as a Porter loop? I could always go there when I was sad. The hotel lobby was my favorite space. So dark it was almost black; figures emerging through the shroud of darkness. The tiny office, the papers and pencils. The sweet silliness of that character, the eternal hope. The overwhelming sadness. To be the one not chosen. Trapped, unable to change anyone's fate, watching and witnessing.

I used to think, there's a lot of downtime in this loop between the big moments like the cabaret, but in the end I realized, there is no downtime. Every moment is beautiful. I'd go there just to see the ominous deer loom over him as he reset the dining room, or to see those white sheets moving through the darkness like abstract art.

Zach McNally's Porter was my first 1:1, in 2012. I remember watching the tears down his face during the cabaret and thinking, wait, this character is as important as the Boy Witch. On Saturday, I watched him fade away into the shadows for the last time.

At the very last show, Andrew Robinson's Porter cried along with the audience as we watched him trace his hand. At the end, he cut his toast into a tiny heart and gave it to Danvers. She burst into tears, cut it in half, and they ate it together.

Boy Witch ended for me when my favorites left; it was all memories, echoes of the past. I'll never forget Conor, who always saw me, no matter how far away I stood, and always created some little moment to make my night special.

(I used to rarely watch the shower scene, and once he ran up to me in the bar and told me, you paid for your ticket, you can watch what you want to watch.)

Oddly, at my second-to-last show, I followed Macduff. Never a favorite, but the choreography is so good. Steven Bangerter looks and moves so much like Rob McNeill, and his sweetness balances out the character. How extraordinary to see the echoes of Rob, who was in the 2003 London production, so clearly and vividly, 21 years and who knows how many performers later. (I did not see the original production, but there are photos, and the first time I saw Rob in the Drowned Man I thought, wow, he moves like Macduff.)

I was noticing new things up until the end. Macbeth, upside down in the ballroom at the reset; the hanged man Tarot card. Macduff, lifting Sexy Witch in the ballroom and spinning her around, like Rob McNeill once did to me as we danced to the finale stage at the end of a Drowned Man.

After the second Remixed, I worked up the nerve to speak to Stephen Dobbie, asked him about the song choices, raved about how great they were. I'd forgotten that the November Rain video actually has a banquet scene in it.

One time I sat across from Felix Barrett at dinner and accidentally changed the ending of the show. I complained that the matron just closes the door to the pagoda and black masks hurry you away; he made a note on his phone and within days it was better.

Once, I had a long conversation with Maxine in the Manderley. (And a few brief ones in London.) Sunday night when I said goodbye, she gave me a hug and said, you've been here all these years.

I don't know why it matters that I met these people. I'm not trying to break into the arts. Maybe I just have so much admiration for the people who've succeeded, in a world that makes it so difficult. Actually if I could have been anyone in the building, it would have been Carrie Boyd; color-coded spreadsheets are my jam. What an unsung superstar. Her salon was the best.

Once after a roundtable, I found a note in my bag from Ilana. "Thank you for your heart and mind." I'd say the same to her.

I don't even know what else to write. Fourteen years of memories. After I post this, I'll think, oh I should have mentioned that other thing too. How can you sum up something that meant so much?

The McKittrick was at the center of my experience of New York City; of my mid-adulthood. I will mourn it at the same time as I marvel that it ever happened, that I found it as early as I did, and that it could possibly have lasted so long.

#sleep no more #mckittrick hotel #punchdrunk #the mckittrick hotel #sleep no more nyc

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tanoraqui · 8 months ago

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Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Some Much-Needed Downtime TBH

ok I kinda read these species-swap chapters quickly without commenting 2 nights ago bc I REALLY wanted to catch up to the show, and honestly I didn't have much to say? It was a fun showcase of some different species talents, and introduced multiple fun problems for the characters to solve [takes notes in DM]. But it didn't seem to move either plot or characters forward much. Some notes:

Honestly it's surprising that there's only been 1 count of food poisoning so far, when they're trying SO MANY new things. One must credit Senshi's cooking skills!

This might be the single funniest joke so far:

I've seen multiple posts saying Senshi's elfsona reveals him to be feminine by dwarf standards, and I'm genuinely BAFFLED by that take because it is SO obvious that Senshi's elfsona reveals him to be 1. the Hottest Man You Have Ever Met, and 2. HAIRY. We have seen 0 other elves with facial hair. I dug up that showcase of different elves and 0 of them have facial hair. In the Tolkienien lore from which all modern fantasy, or certainly this sort of fantasy, is derived, exactly 2 elves in the history of the world are said to have had facial hair. Elf!Senshi has a tiny little moustache. Elf!Senshi isn't feminine, he is the HOTTEST, HAIRIEST bear in the metaphorical gay club.

...it's possible that he's more of a himbo than we realize, though.

I don't know what's up with Kensuke and I AM worried that it's being directed by the demon. I want it to be Laios's friend so bad...

It occurs to me that "the winged lion is actually the demon at the root of all of this" is probably the biggest spoiler I've gotten, and I didn't even realize how huge a spoiler it was because I DIDN'T get spoilered for the fact that, so far as the characters know, the lion is supposed to be a helpful god. Don't play with spoilers, kids! Even if you want to read the juicy meta!

This initial fight with the gargoyles is probably my new second-favorite "Laios is really quickly analytical and problem-solving in combat" moment (the living armor fight is still #1). He sees how everyone is failing, prevents more problems as he can, realizes they can't win and puts together what pieces they need to get out. In group social dynamics, he's a mediocre leader at best, but he's a superb combat tactician.

Laios is just living in his own little after-school special, and I love him for that.

That first panel is definitely support for the theory that the 50-60yr life expectancy of "short-lived" races like tallmen, orcs, kobolds and halffeet is shorter than it should be, relative to their ages of maturity, because the long-lived races control and hold most of the resources. It's even possible that their ages of maturity SHOULD be even older, but social conditions force them to become "adults" at a younger developmental age than dwarves, gnomes and especially elves!

Panel 3 is Marcille mentally shoving Chilchuck higher on her list of Lives to Extend by Whatever Magic I Can Learn.

I love how the way they figure out that the mushrooms' effects are easily reversible is literally by thinking through the greater social worldbuilding implications of the effects.

^This is the single most Dad we've ever seen Chilchuck...topped only by that 'carry child like a football' a moment later. Actually, he yeets Marcille a LOT while tall - here, over the jump in the travel montage, with Laios to make a loop for the gargoyle...which I'm dead certain is an indication of how he physically treated his daughters. Those kids got casually, affectionately tossed like salad.

AND THAT'S WHAT WE CALL FRIENDSHIP.

...okay maybe I did have several thoughts about those 2 chapters.

"[Falin] was much tougher than I was. I hear she and our parents still write to each other" is SUCH a line for painting a picture of Laios and Falin's childhoods, and Laios's feelings on it.

you can keep your Kabru Wink(TM)s, I am weak only for the Laios Fond Little Smile(TM).

I love how Senshi is still musing on this soul = egg metaphor, and I LOVE how both times now that we've seen Laios genuinely lose his temper, it's because someone was saying "why are you just being excited about eating monsters when Falin is in danger?!", and he's snapping because he is fucking NOT dismissing his sister in favor of eating monsters, he is doing EVERYTHING IN HIS POWER to save her and it just so happens that the only plans with a smidgen of success involve leaning into eating monsters. And by trying to stop him from that, you're stopping him from saving Falin.

Laios, how tf do you remember the Wink? I'm 99% sure Kabru never once winked in your interactions; I WAS looking for it. Was he just exuding wink energy? (I mean...yes.)

The dramatic irony jokes in this chapter are on POINT. Chilchuck: "There's no way this thing still works" [tram door slams shut on his heels, cars immediately starts moving]. "You won't find a military company in the dungeon" [smash cut to Shuro, Namari and Kabru unhappily leading the Canaries into the dungeon]. Impeccable.

Stopping this one here in preparation for going nuts about implied elf-related worldbuilding in the next chapters!

#dm lb #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon

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