#that got really angsty
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Sherlock Holmes loves John Watson.
That is my main takeaway from the last episode. Whether this love is romantic, platonic or an entirely separate thing altogether. The fact still remains.
Looking at the whole ordeal from Sherlock's perspective reveals something interesting. To Sherlock, John is one of his extremely few friends, his best friend even. Sherlock hasn't had many friends. Sure Mariana is his friend, and once, so was Victor. But none of them have been a friend to him in the way that John has.
No one else had taken the time to dig deep into who he was. No one else had put themselves in genuine danger for him. No one else has followed him into murders, and kidnappings, and all the other horrors he deals with, and stays by side throughout it all. He can count on John to always be there. He can trust John with his fears. He can be vulnerable around him, and believes that John can do the same.
He has, in his own way, fallen in love with him. He has grown attached. He cares about John in a way he hasn't cared for anyone before... He nearly killed for John Watson... He'd very willingly die for him as well...
That's what takes me to The Final Problem. Where, at the threat of John getting hurt, Sherlock would back down. He'd call John, tell him everything, how much he cares. He'd ask, plead, beg, John to forgive for what he's about to do... Then he'd jump. Spending the next few years, still protecting John. And when he has to come back, he'll be afraid. Not of the press, or that he won't be accepted. That John, his John Watson will not forgive him...
After all, there is no universe, where Sherlock doesn't love his Watson.
#sherlock and co#sherlock & co#sherlock holmes#johnlock#john watson#the final problem#that got really angsty#sorry not sorry
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no more romance. romance is canceled. tell me about your warden/hawke/inquisitor's best friend and any info you want to add about their dynamic 🖐
#and by “romance is canceled” i mean that i have been writing so much angsty romance lately that i need something to balance it out#dragon age#dragon age origins#dragon age: origins#dao#dragon age 2#da2#dragon age inquisiton#dai#dragon age: inquisition#hero of ferelden#champion of kirkwall#the inquisitor#inquisitor#i have way too many ocs to do this with so i'll go with kinera#he was close with his entire companion group (minus wynne and oghren) during the fifth blight#but he was especially close with sten and morrigan. sten kind of accidentally cracked kinera's egg and#kinera was fascinated by morrigan because shes a mage outside of the circle#and in dai kinera was initally close with solas– until it really kicked in how much solas disliked the dalish and how much#he viewed kinera as being an “exception” when kinera already felt like an outcast due to mostly growing up outside of a clan bc he was take#to a circle.#healing sessions for the anchor got Really tense after that. and then morrigan showed up and kinera was#just yippie yippie!! because very briefly he had alistair leliana and morrigan all back together again
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i think he deserves the therapy dinosaur
ft. lyra’s own ominous ass chikorita

#pokemon#pokemon hgss#trainer silver#rival silver#trainer lyra#meganium#chikorita#millidrew#art#my post#this came about because I REALLYY wanted to give Ethan a cyndaquil#this was before I included lyra in my brain so kris as the protag got totodile#and silver got chikorita. I think the difference between him going >:((( strong pokemon#and this very calm and happy to be here bean sprout dinosaur is very fun#now about lyra’s chikorita#it end up fitting really well by completing the protag trio#she chose the starter weak to her brother’s but effective against her brother’s rival (who will also become her rival)#(that’s kris btw)#…but despite the type advantage she still loses every battle they have.#and she matches with that angsty guy they see sometimes!#success!
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paint it over
#doctorsiren#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#gregory edgeworth#ace attorney fanart#mitski#art#digital art#my art#fanart#procreate#I think about this a lot#how like…now he’s his dad’s age…#and he has glasses like his dad#my HC: he’s always needed glasses. but von karma wouldn’t allow him to get them because then he wouldn’t be ‘perfect’#and that perfectionist mindset stuck with him for a long while#and it wasn’t until the 7yg that he finally was able to feel okay enough with the idea of having glasses#that he actually got them#ik this art is like angsty but I actually think he would be really happy to see a little bit of his father in his own reflection#he goes from being more like Von Karma to finally becoming more like his own father#ALSO!! because he has those memory issues…😨
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i know i haven't uploaded a new chapter for this fic in over half a year... and i probably won't any time soon... but here's some lore explained w/ virgil
#i don't know if i'll ever get to the point in the story where zombies come up#cause that's like 10+ chapters away and i haven't written for this fic in months#but ig it's good to write it down so if i do get to it in like 2 years i can remember lol#i was pretty lazy when drawing the ghost one cause i knew i was gonna blur it anyway and you wouldn't be able to see the details#but i think you can tell i didn't try as hard on that one#skeletons in the closet au#sanders sides au#sanders sides fanfiction#i tried to show subtle differences between the different stages of life with virgil#after he died and came back to life he got skinner and paler#and after coming back as a zombie he got even skinnier and his skin turned a bit yellow#the poor boy is withering away#i guess i'll tag him too#virgil sanders#sanders sides#i didn't really sketch these drawings first like i usually do#i kinda just freehanded it#so if they look a little wonky that's why#i guess at this point with no context the zombie arc seems pretty angsty#and it is#but it's also kinda cute#zombie virgil is very fun#oh and i guess this is a spoiler 😬#idrc though#chances are i won't even get to writing that part so i might as well tell people about it#my art
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mmm thoughts of private executioner!blade, who is high priestess!kafka's bodyguard. well, more like her guard dog, as many fearfully seem to think.
he is aloof and gruff and rough around the edges, his name capturing it perfectly. when in the eyes of the public he either keeps to himself or stands ready by kafka's side, but when out he lurks in the shadows ready and waiting to carry out her death orders.
you, yourself, haven't had very many pleasant encounters with him... if you can even call them that. that being said, you haven't had many pleasant encounters with anyone. notorious for your... less than pleasant disposition, for a lack of better words, you have more people who'd rather see you run through than those you can call a friend.
in a dog-eat-dog world, you had no choice but to protect yourself. that, however, ultimately became your demise.
"oh? so you're the one sent to kill me. can't say i'm all that surprised."
standing before you is the feared executioner. his sword is tucked inside the sheath attached to his hip, that ever-present dark swirl of an aura stifling the air. he doesn't say anything, instead opting to silently stare down at your slumped and worn-out form. you find that his gaze doesn't bother you; rather, it's oddly comforting knowing someone will see you in your last moments.
"i've never asked you for a favour before, so this will be my first and last request for you." in all honesty, you're not sure where this chattiness stems from. considering you're currently in a holding cell under the crime of attempted murder towards kafka (a poisoned wine you were most definitely framed for, though you can't say you were surprised) and are awaiting for your turn to be under the guillotine for your public execution, you probably should be a little desperate towards the private executioner in front of you.
and yet, your mind is nothing if not peaceful.
with a huff, you relay your request, "can you make sure it's quick? painless, preferably, but i'd rather you just get it over and done with."
silence blankets the cold chambers. moisture accumulated along the cobble ceiling drip in a steady rhythm, like a clock ticking away the seconds. it's unnerving, almost, how there is not a single sound other than your impending countdown.
"why?" comes his low mutter, effectively causing a ripple within the stagnant air. you almost think you misheard him, but his following words cease the thought, "why won't you ask me for help?"
had it not been for the abrupt shuffle and clanging against the metal bars, you would have never looked up to see him in your last moments.
his scarred hands gripping the metal until his knuckles turn a ghastly white and blood dripping from his palms is what greets your sight. as your gaze slowly trails up, you almost let loose a laugh of disbelief; who would have thought blade, the infamous guard dog of the high priestess, could make such a desperate expression? one looking as though his whole world crumbled before him, in which he can do nothing but sit and watch.
(you will never know of the anger and desperation which coursed through his veins the moment he heard of your predicament. had it been anyone else, he wouldn't have cared. but you're not anyone else; you're you — unapologetically, wholeheartedly. it didn't take him long to hunt down those behind it, cutting them down without thought and putting an end to their miserable lives. he rushed as soon as he could when kafka gave him the order, no thoughts other than you, you, you, occupying his mind.
you will never know of the anguish which overcame him when he found you in such a state, your once healthy complexion and defiant gaze reduced to nothing but a tiredness which had always sat quietly behind your disposition. he's almost positive the muscle which unwillingly keeps him alive tore at the seams from your request, the acceptance in which you displayed causing his mind to go astray. even as he damn-near begs you to rely on him for help — to run away with him to some place no one knows of you and start anew there — you merely smile, resigned and peaceful.
you will never know of how much blade is willing to put on the line for you, for you never made it to see the complete and utter carnage he wrecked in your name.)
#what was initially a teehee shower thought became an ueue scenario#this was going somewhere and and then it got longer and longer and then took a severely angsty turn wtf#originally was going to keep this on the blog but then i cried at the end and decided it had to be let free <//3#im sorry blade i love u i really do but that just means i need to put u through the emotional wringer haha... ha... a....#oh and also blade is kafkas bodyguard bc she promised to help find a way to cure him of his curse#(<- the mara/immortality equivalent wow we love unneeded lore !)#and yeah. this is me saying i have too many ideas and aus and idk what to do with myself so im blurting them out here#this is yet another cry for help 🥹#sophie talks : concepts <3#blade x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#blade x you#honkai star rail x you#hsr x you#honkai star rail imagines#hsr imagines
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honey and guy angst pls
It was nearing holiday season, and Guy and Honey were working overtime for what felt like every single day. Guy is forced to take more shifts as Max’s Pizza was getting more orders, and Honey had to take over another project after their coworker took the week off for a holiday.
By the time Honey got home, Guy was passed out in the bed. And by the time Guy woke up, Honey had already left. Guy wanted to stay awake or at least wake up when Honey got home to talk to them, but he was so drained from standing and working all day.
When was the last time they even saw each other?
On Sunday Guy finally got a small break, with his shift starting in the afternoon instead of the morning, and he took this opportunity to finally see and talk to his Honey again.
He woke up to the sun shining through the blinds. He was pleasantly surprised to feel warmth coming from the spot next to him on the bed, and he wriggled towards it, arms snaking around Honey’s waist and burying his face in the crook of their neck.
“Mmmmf…” He nuzzled into their hair. “Honeyyy…”
He felt them wriggle a little, head tilting ever so slightly in his direction. “Hmm? What time is it?”
“It’s 8am or something, I don’t know.”
“Mmmmmh… lemme sleep.” They rolled away from him and buried their face in the sheets.
Guy let out a gasp, waking up a little more now.
“You’d throw away an opportunity to spend the morning with the love of your life? When we finally have the chance? Come on Honeeeyyy I missed youuuu.” He wriggled closer, arms reaching for them again.
“Please stop. I’m tired. Lemme sleep.” Honey mumbled and avoided his touch again.
Something in Guy snapped, frustration built up from the previous week of fatigue, and without a word he got up and left the bed. He made his way to the kitchen and made breakfast, before leaving for work a little early. He’d make up some excuse and help out with prep today. Not that any of his coworkers would complain about extra hands on deck.
Honey fell back asleep, making the most of their one day off. They vaguely remember Guy saying something that morning, but couldn’t recall what happened. They were dragged into deep slumber, before they were trapped in a nightmare.
Guy had left. Actually left. And they hadn’t even noticed. When was the last time they even talked? When was the last time they ever even saw him? They jolted awake, hand feeling the spot next to them where he usually lies. But it was empty. Cold. Honey sat up and looked around. It was their apartment, but it was as if every trace of Guy had disappeared. His clothes were gone from their closet. His extra pillow and plushie was gone from the bed. His hoodie that was always on the chair in the room was gone.
Or was he ever here?
Honey spiralled and it felt harder to breathe. Their thoughts in their head grew louder and louder until it overwhelmed them, and all they could hear were the same thoughts that used to plague them.
Why would anyone be here? Why would anyone want to be with you anyway? No one likes you, you’re too cold. You’re too mean. You’re too closed off. No one understands you. Why would they even want to. You’re not worth the time.
Time seemed to stop yet also speed up at the same time, and they felt themselves freeze up. Their hands instinctively moved to cover their ears. It was too loud. Yet the house was silent. Their thoughts just kept getting louder, and they shut their eyes, a single tear falling down their cheek. Somewhere along the way they had woken up, but their dreams had blended into reality, and they felt trapped.
Guy came home earlier than he planned as he had started work early. Rosa insisted he rest, and he was too tired to refuse. It had been a while since he got to go home before the night time rush.
He opened the door to find darkness. That’s odd. Honey had their day off today. They could have gone out, but that would be very uncharacteristic of them considering it’s their rare day off.
He shuffled in, putting his bag down and taking off his jacket. He made his way to the bedroom, just in case. Sometimes Honey would nap at odd times of the day, maybe this was one of those moments.
But there they were. Sitting up on the bed with their knees folded up, curling in on themselves. They had their hands over their ears still, and Guy could see dried tear stains on their cheek.
Oh.
Not wanting to scare them, Guy whispered.
“Honey? What’s wrong?”
Honey didn’t seem to hear him. Their eyes were hollow and unfocused, gaze stuck at their feet.
Guy reached for their hands, and gently touched it, gauging their reaction. When Honey didn’t flinch, he held their wrist in his hand and pried it away from their ear. Only then did Honey finally register his presence.
“…Guy?”
“Yeah, it’s me. What’s wrong?”
“I don’t… I-… I thought you left.” Honey looked up at him, their eyes desperately searching for answers in his. Their hands were shaking. Guy had never seen them so small before.
“I did, but I just went to work. You said you wanted to sleep, and I didn’t want to bother you if you weren’t in the mood.” He kept his hands on theirs, hoping it somehow grounded them.
They fell silent. Then they leaned their head on his shoulder, hiding their face.
“I thought you left.” It was barely a whisper.
Guy wrapped his arms around them, and shifted so that they could sit in his lap and he could have his legs on either side of them, holding them properly.
“I’ll never leave you, Honey.” He pressed a kiss to their head.
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redactedverse#redacted headcanons#redacted guy#redacted honey#sorry it took so long!#I needed a bit of time to think of smth angsty#thank you for helping me btw you know who you are#I wrote this while listening to Porter arguing with treasure#then I got really sad and my hands just moved XD#and voila#this got really long
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Veeeeeeeeeery slight nsfw warning


what if I had been writing a vampire au foils to friends to lovers slow burn angst eR fic that throws the idealistic character (Enjolras) into the terrors of nihilism in the face of eternity while Grantaire resident nihilist struggles with the meaning of revolution because immortality makes all their sacrifices worthless? also it’s canon era to modern era
#les mis#enjoltaire#enjolras#grantaire#vampire au cos there has got to be one#there is no seggs in it they are just physically intimate#the line shame syndrome is so bad it’s embarrassing sorry😟#the first pic is enjo turning r#the second is more like an angsty physical fight idk#kinda nervous that this will be Perceived by the Masses idk (once again I never really intended to post these until very recently)#haterart
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Another one of the paintings I did this week, was playing around with lighting and felt like painting Zuko, so I did. :D (oh yeah - and a close up if you're interested - you can see the sketch lines if you squint, but I reckon that's part of the charm~ *smiles innocently)

#this was actually the first one i did#watched a tutorial on how to not overwork watercolours recently#and wanted to test out the theory#this is take one#the other paintings i did got better as they went on#(like. i like this one its just a lil blotchy yknow?)#:D#zuko#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko fanart#love drawing this angsty dude#mixing all the different reds is a lil hard tho#since i left most of my paint stuff at home#and like. i was away for most of this week#with my mini 12 colour paint set#(bit bigger than one of my hands)#cause it was easier to pack#anyway#reckon i figured some stuff out#really like this kind of 'sketch - paint over sketch - outline with fine liners' thing im doin atm#watercolours are cool#havent really tried other types of paint but yeah.#i like them a lot#:D:D:D
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shadows edge is my favorite kind of edge, but some people cant get it right. you cant make it a generic edge. it cant be half assed, and you certainly cant make it ironic. you cant hold back, you gotta put your whole pussy into making it early 2000s edge. you need the full undiluted essence of an emo anime character crying blood with one angel wing and one demon wing and linkin park lyrics around it.
#shadow the hedgehog#shadow#sth#i live off of 2000s edge bc of shadow. i thrive in it#his game had fucking gunshots as the menu sounds ffs. you have to reach that level of edge or leave#this is why i love shadow gens so much. gave full respect for the kinda edge shadow deserves. the edge that makes shadow SHADOW#angsty emotions but he does his best to stay strong and not lose himself to rage#hes the edgy broody antihero but hes got a heart of gold <3#and they really let all of that shine#shadow my perfect wife. i love him. kisses him
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The Best Present is Love - Ron Weasley x gn! Reader
Warning: feelings of inadequacy; mild cursing (in my writing, not actually spoken by them and it’s only once)
A/N: we get a little angsty during holiday celebrations but I swear it’s resolved at the end; we get kinda sappy cause that's how I roll
You went to his room to find him and, sure enough, there he was, sat off the side of his bed producing a melancholy you could sense from his doorway. One of the gifts he received during the gift exchange sat in his hands as he stared at it, his mind clearly elsewhere. He hadn’t even noticed you at the door until you spoke.
“Hey Ron,” you said, informing him of your presence, “What’s up?”
“Oh just, looking at my gift from George and Fred. It’s surprisingly harmless,” he tells you, looking up at you with a bit of a smile. As soon as these words leave his mouth, he looks back down, under the guise of inspecting his brothers��� gift to him. But he’s not hiding anything from you. You saw him just now. He’s upset about something. Whether or not he’ll tell you right now is a different story.
“Yeah, better look out,” you say with a nudge. “But really,” you say, looking into his eyes, “what’s up?” As you say this, he looks back into your eyes. Caught off guard at first, but then giving a surrendering and soft look, and almost sort of smile.
“Should’ve known I can't hide much from you,” Ron says.
“No,” you say, cupping his face and applying a gentle kiss to it, “you can’t. So tell me, sweetheart. What’s bothering you? What's wrong?” you ask, still holding his face ever so tenderly, with so much love in your eyes. He could feel it, and so he shared his qualms with you.
“I’m afraid that you may not like it here, with my family.” You look at him, puzzled. He senses the question “Why?” occupying your mind right now. However, rather than interrupt, you chose to kneel down in front of him and wait for him to speak at his own pace. You placed your hands in his lap to comfort him and give him the opportunity to fiddle with your fingers if he wished. He did. “S’ just that, we’re so messy and- and loud and, well, we are far from perfect and we aren’t like other pureblood families and-” You stood up, and Ron stopped talking. He wasn’t sure why you stood up. He thought that maybe all he had done was mess up, and you realized he was right and he should've never said anything and-
Oh. You were hugging him.
You stood there, cradling him, and he just accepted it. He didn’t try to deny anything, he just accepted your embrace and care, left himself bare to you, and you took him in for all he was, you took his family in for all it was, and you loved it. Most of all -well you honestly could hardly just pick one thing- but you loved how much love there was within the Weasley household. And as for Ron, you loved him. You loved his hair, his eyes, his cute little nose, his body heat, and the way he always ran warm so you'd snuggle him in the common room when you studied and you were cold. Or even when you weren’t cold. You loved how he would occasionally complain that it was “too bloody hot” but would hold you tight as soon as you made any motion of leaving. You loved his sarcasm and -as much as you wanted to smack him sometimes (lovingly, of course)- you loved his smart remarks. You loved the way he could and would confidently state the obvious as if it were a new revelation of sorts. And although it could be frustrating at times, even his tendency to be rather dense was cute at times. You especially loved how sweet he was to you. You knew that he would let the world burn if it meant that the people he loved were protected, and that included you. You felt the same way about him.
“Ron,” you looked at him sweetly and then continued, “I love it here.”
“You… do?” He looked genuinely confused.
“I love it here too, Ron. I love the love that flows through this house. I love the chaos. I love the lively energy and how there’s never a dull moment —especially when George and Fred are bored. I love how each person in your family is so unique —you and the twins included— and how everyone has such a strong personality- yes, you included!” you added with a smile as you gripped his shoulders strongly but not roughly. “I always have an amazing and wonderful time here and I wouldn’t change anything about it.” This time it was Ron who pulled you into his grip. The hug was strong and firm and full of emotion and unspoken words. Unsaid, but understood all the same. That was another thing you loved about him -two actually: his bear hugs and the fact that even though he couldn’t always express himself in words, he made damn sure you knew he loved you and appreciated you. And you made sure he knew you loved and appreciated him just as much.
#happy christmas#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter universe#hp fanfic#not proofread#or anything#i really just wanted to give this to y'all for Christmas and only got the time to edit a lil something for y'all#love youuuuuuus#update#i edited this#angst with a happy ending#angsty fluff#hp fluff#ron wealsey x y/n#ron weasly x reader#ron weasley#ron weasley fanfiction#ron weasley x reader#ron weasley x you#gn!y/n#gn!reader#gn reader#my gift to you#christmas fic#harry potter christmas#christmas fanfic#christmas angst#hope you enjoyed#love ya <3#mwah <3
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And All That Follows (ch. 1)
aka: Let's Mitigate This Blast Radius Before It Gets Out of Hand
Alpha Gabriel Shaw dies and everything falls apart.
Ch. 2 // ao3 // 1.9k words
(TW: death, car accident, grief)
EDITS: small grammar stuff, formatting, and new title (formerly known as The Fall of an Alpha, but i hated that name so i chose a new one)
———————————————
Sept 3. 2017, 11:04 pm
Between the raging storm outside and the blaring tv in front of them, they barely heard the knock at the door. It was only on the second attempt did they notice, and even then it could have easily been dismissed as thunder.
Milo gave David and Asher confused glances. “You guys expecting anyone?”
David shook his head. Asher shrugged; he paused the game and tossed his controller behind him as he said, “I’ll get it.”
Milo stretched out in the newly available couch space, calling out, “Could you get more chips while you’re up? We’re almost out.”
“Get them yourself!” Asher retorted as he padded down the hallway, “Unless you’re too short to reach!”
“Oh fuck right off!”
Asher chuckled as he reached the front door. He didn’t bother looking through the peephole before answering, but as soon as he saw who it was, he wished he had. It would’ve given him a moment to steel himself.
An officer was standing in the hallway, her dripping face starkly grim. Asher recognized her as a shifter from a neighboring pack.
“Evening. Beta David Shaw lives here, yes?” she asked.
Asher tightened his grip on the door handle. “Uh...yeah, he’s um my roommate.”
“Is he here now?”
“Can I uh, ask what this is about?” Asher replied, his voice cracking slightly.
“There’s been an accident.”
It felt like the ground gave out from underneath him. Like a blast of thunder had gone off in his chest.
“Hey, Ash, who is it?” David called from the living room.
Asher ignored him. “Gabe?” he whispered, eyes wide.
She gave him a small nod.
“Is he…just tell me, is he dead?”
She shifted her weight uneasily before nodding. “Yes.”
“Come in.”
He moved aside to let her in, closing the door behind them. “He’s uh, he’s in the…um...follow me,” Asher said breathlessly. His feet were like bricks as he led the officer down the hallway.
Milo and David looked up to see a very pale Asher hurry across the living room and practically cower in the corner.
“Who was…” the words died in David’s mouth as he and Milo looked over at the officer standing in the doorway to the living room, rainwater trickling down her coat and pooling at her feet.
David stood, an edge of authority in his voice as he spoke, “Officer. What can I do for you?”
“Beta Shaw, please, have a seat,” she replied.
He stayed standing. “What’s going on?”
“David…” Asher pleaded.
David’s eyes shot over and met Asher’s—they were already red and glassy. He lowered himself back onto the couch, then looked over at the officer as dread climbed into his chest.
She stepped forward, her voice stern but not unkind, “Beta Shaw. About forty-five minutes ago, Alpha Gabriel Shaw was in a car accident. He died on the scene.”
David had never really known grief before. Sure, his mom had died, but he had been too young to really know what was going on. A few distant relatives and pets had died over the years, too, but none of that had seemed to really affect him. The deaths of his grandparents had been sad, but not debilitatingly so. He'd begun to think that maybe death just didn't affect him that way. He thought maybe he just wasn't built to grieve.
It was instantaneous. It felt like shifting—a full and all-encompassing transformation. Grief ran like magic through his bones, warping his core and leaving him unrecognizable. Those in the room felt it—Asher especially. He almost reached out, almost said something, but David was already talking, his voice cavernous:
"Thank you, officer, for informing me of the situation. Where is his body now?"
The officer blinked in surprise, but quickly composed herself. "The coroner has taken him to the nearest morgue."
"I assume they'll want me there to confirm his identity?"
"Yes, but you don't have to go imme—"
"Can you take me?"
She furrowed her brow. "Yes, sir."
David moved to grab his coat, and Milo shot up. “David, wai—”
“Stay here, both of you. Don’t tell anyone what’s happened. I’ll call for an emergency meeting tomorrow morning,” David commanded, “I want to avoid as much panic as possible.”
And with that, he left, pushing through the doorway and into the hall. The officer took a deep breath before following.
Milo sank back down. The two heard the front door open and shut.
For a minute, they didn’t speak. The storm swelled outside, rattling the windows of the apartment. The pause music on the tv played over and over at a low volume.
Staring blankly at the wall opposite him, Milo mumbled, “We’ve gotta tell Tank.”
“We can’t. You heard David,” Asher croaked from his corner.
“David’s not in his right mind,” Milo retorted, his eyes beginning to burn, “Gabe is like a father to Tank.”
“…was,” Asher whispered.
Milo locked eyes with him, silently pleading.
"I...I'm going to the bathroom," Asher replied before hurrying down the hallway. He couldn't say yes, but he wasn't going to stop him. Especially when Milo was right. They needed to tell Tank before they heard it from anyone else or, god forbid, at the pack meeting.
Asher closed the bathroom door and leaned his weight against it as sobs tore through his body, robbing him of everything—sound, breath, strength. He slid down the length of the door to the floor in a silent, heaving heap as his mind spun.
He gave himself five minutes.
———————————————
Milo pulled out his phone, groaning in frustration as he struggled to read his screen, tears flooding his vision. He wiped his eyes with one hand as he pulled up Tank’s contact with the other.
Tank was somewhere loud; he could hear it through the phone.
“Miles, what’s up?” Tank all but shouted.
“I need you to come to Ash and David's,” Milo rasped.
“What? Wait-wait, gimme a sec,” Tank said. He could hear them pushing through a crowd, then the sound of a door opening and slamming shut, followed by the shush of rain. They must have moved outside.
“What’s going on? Are you hurt?” Tank asked.
“No I just…I need you here. Now.”
He could hear the panic in their voice. “...I can be there in twenty—no, fifteen.”
“No! Don’t speed. Please, Tank, drive slowly. It’s late, it’s raining, it’s not—” Milo held his phone away from his mouth for a second as a sob slipped out, “It’s not safe.”
Tank must’ve heard it. Their words shot out of their mouth as they strode into the rain, “Is David there? Ash? I swear, Miles, if you’re hurt and not telling me—”
“Tank, please,” Milo begged.
“Okay! Okay, I’ll be there soon.”
“…we’ll leave the door unlocked. Drive slow.”
Once they hung up, Milo put his phone on the coffee table. He bit his clenched fist as tears pooled in his eyes and his chest convulsed.
————————————————
Everything was happening too quickly; David couldn’t keep up. One minute he was getting into his car, ready to follow the cruiser in front of him to the morgue. The next, he was looking down at a shrouded body, being asked if he was ready.
Ready? Fuck no, he wasn’t ready. He wasn’t ready for any of this. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Gabe wasn’t supposed to die suddenly, in his prime, leaving his 24-year-old son to pick up the pieces. Leaving him an orphan.
Orphan.
The word made a desert of his mouth. He was alone. Entirely. His last safety net. His last pillar of support. His last corner to hide in. Gone.
David was bare, flayed open for the world to see. He’d never felt so exposed, and it made him panic. But there was no time to panic. He was still the Pack Beta. He still had a job to do. And for as long as he could, he’d throw himself into it, fully. So David chiseled a hard look onto his face and nodded.
The sheet was pulled back.
Everyone always said David looked like his dad. He took so much pride in that comparison. But in that moment, he saw no resemblance. He didn’t have an out-of-body experience, seeing himself on the table. He didn’t spiral at the sudden realization of his own mortality spurred by the likeness of his dead father.
Because that wasn’t Alpha Gabriel Shaw, revered Founder of the Shaw Pack.
That wasn’t Gabe, loyal friend and loving father.
The body before David was just a man, battered and broken beyond repair. It felt wrong to claim this husk as his father, felt like a lie.
But David had a job to do.
“Yes, that’s him.”
————————————————
When sound returned to his body and his sobs were no longer silent, Asher muzzled them with a frantic hand. He couldn’t let Milo hear. He had to be there for him. Once his self-allotted time was up, Asher rose on shaky legs. He pressed a washcloth to his face. He straightened his clothes. He smiled.
Leaving the bathroom, Asher went down the hallway into the kitchen and began to heat some water. He pulled down mugs. He got out tea. He waited. He poured the water. He wiped his tears. He smiled.
The mugs clinked in his hand as he carried them into the living room. He set them on the coffee table. He placed one tea bag in each. He sat next to Milo. He smiled.
“You get ahold of Tank?”
“Yeah,” Milo croaked, “They’re coming over.”
“Good. That’s good.”
He smiled.
————————————————
After ten minutes, Milo’s phone began to buzz.
Asher removed his arm from around Milo’s shaking shoulders and grabbed the phone off the coffee table, handing it to him. Milo cleared his throat before answering.
“Tank?”
“Is he dead?!?”
Milo could hear the storm on their end, along with cars rushing past them. Were they still driving? He prayed to whoever or whatever would listen that they'd at least pulled over.
“Wh-what?” Milo stammered.
“I saw his fucking car, Milo! Smashed up in the middle of the fucking intersection!! Is Gabe fucking dead?!?”
Asher gaped at Milo; Tank wasn't on speakerphone, but they were shouting loud enough for him to hear.
“ANSWER ME MILO!”
Milo glanced at Asher, who was vehemently shaking his head no. Not now. Not this way. Wait.
“…yes, he’s dead—”
“And David?!”
“David wasn’t in the car. But Tank, I need you t—” Milo was cut off as the line went dead, “Tank? Tank?!?”
Asher grabbed Milo's arm.
“They-they hung up," Milo whimpered, "At least I think they did. I hope they did…oh god." He called Tank again. It went to voicemail.
"Fuck!" he yelled, throwing his phone across the room.
Asher rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes, scrubbing away the hot tears before they fell but no doubt turning the lighter patches of his skin a blotchy red. He put his arm back around Milo as he fished out his own phone from his pocket and called Tank.
Voicemail.
He hung up and tried again.
Voicemail.
Milo growled and stood up abruptly. He grabbed his coat and moved towards his phone.
“Wh-where’re you going?” Asher stammered.
“To Tank’s place,” Milo replied, picking up his phone, “You stay, in case they come here.”
“Milo, it’s still really bad out there, maybe you should wai—”
“I’ll have to call one of Colm’s old coworkers, find out where the crash was.”
“What? Milo—”
“I need to drive by it. Maybe Tank’s still there. Or maybe,” Milo’s breath caught in his throat, “maybe they crashed too. I don’t know. So I’ll drive by there on my way to Tank’s. I’ll text you when I get there.”
Milo was out the door before Asher could speak. Alone, he crumbled, sobs overtaking him once more.
#goddamn these characters really got away from me#they just started doing their own shit i had no idea we were gonna end up where we did#and i guess i’m writing multiple chapters now??#idk how many we’ll see where this goes#umm but yeah i was really trying to explore the different ways the four of them grieve/react to tragedy#and i’m trying to show how David and Asher ended up with their roles as alpha and beta#cause they weren’t just handed those roles#poor tank they just lose everyone close to them#just wait it’s gonna get more angsty ehehehehehe#also!!! tank pre-stutter!#i never write that!!#it’s so odd not having to take that into account when writing their dialogue#not having a stutter makes them talk and act so differently damn#anyway#mayhem is brewing#redacted fanfic#redacted fandom#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted headcanons#redacted david#redacted gabe#redacted asher#redacted milo#redacted tank#redacted darlin
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My autistic queen

#and her supportive brother#they really got an angsty black haired character with issues of high expectations from family#and made me identify the most with a different one from the main cast#this is the power of autism#richeh#tbna#wha#tongari boushi no atelier#witch hat atelier#moralgayness
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last kiss
(alt. versions below!)


(yes I did reference the iconic Promare CPR kiss for this😂)
#shoot from the hip#sfth#shootimpro#sfth fanart#inside the mysterious cube#jeremiah (itmc)#bubbah (itmc)#bubbamiah#can't believe these angsty gay cowboys compelled me to try drawing my first kiss ever (THEIR POWER)#also#the idea that bubbah had to abandon jeremiah's body on the field—#—and him having to pray that jeremiah would still be there to give him a proper burial before the whole life jelly thing#it makes my angst brain go !!!#(also oof the ai protection really got to these pieces (ㅠ_ㅠ))#fanart#digital art#my art
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#showed my friend a photo of Bertie Wooster and she said “he looks like he'd go into cardiac arrest upon listening to Hang Em High”#and I was like erm actually he really likes cowboys!!!#anyway I was listening to Mama the other day and I was like#ok picture this#we've got one of those angsty ass ww2 Bertie goes to war fanfics going on#he starts out by writing his actual dead mother but as the song goes on the “mama” he/the solider is crying out and writing to#Morphs into Aunt Dahlia#so as he screams for his mother on the battlefield he is actually calling out for the aunt who was to him a mother#I'm so delusional that makes absolutely no sense#anyway#Bertie wooster#Jeeves and wooster#mcr#my chemical romance#Gerard way
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No I'm fine just thinking about Abbey calling love easy in WDGFIL and Cupid saying love isn't easy but it will always find a way in True Hearts Day and how Abbey found a boy who perfectly complimented her and chased her down in every universe without her needing to search him out while Cupid spent her whole life looking for someone to love only to be abandoned or rejected and watched as every guy she liked eventually moved on with a girl he truly loved, and she couldn't even be upset because it was her job to help people find each other even if she never found her someone
#thinking about how abbey and heath are superficial opposites but the true opposites attract couple are cupid and abbey#thinking about cupid leaving monster high and abbey and heath getting confirmed not long after#thinking about abbey waiting for cupid to leave before she moved on#and cupid looking for her blue-coded opposite for the rest of eah but never quite managing to get the same thrill back#ever after high#eah#monster high#ca cupid#c.a. cupid#cupid asteria#abbey bominable#cupid x abbey#abbey x cupid#cabbey#is this too angsty for the mh fandom? idk and idc tbh#just been missing them lately ig but i finally got cupid's doll#so at least they get to be together in one universe#they really lived up to their definitions of love didn't they...
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