#that gets me out of the perfectionist mindset too

[erogurox]

You're a bit hypocritical with the let people have their opinions thing. They dissagtand make calm responses so your opinions, and you act hostile back. I've been as polite as I can but you genuinely made my mood die when I saw a reblog from you.

So, here's a few points I do not agree with to try and get you to understand and maybe (futility, likely) help you get past your illiteracy.

The "he's just like me fr fr has trauma"

By relating to myself, I'm trying to understand a characters mindset. I relate to sunny many ways and am trying to get you to understand the irrational mindset of a child. Him having trauma never excused him, it simply just made him frantic actions more understandable. Relating to myself again, as any other analyst would, when I experienced a traumatic experience with losing someone, I also tried covering it up. It's not the same as Sunny's, obviously, I didn't commit manslaughter. But loss is experienced differently. Omori is about the different ways to cope with loss, most, if not all being unhealthy. Every character has their flaws, so you can't hate one character without hating the other. All have their flaws, and Sunny's is that he runs away. Aubrey's is that she retaliates with violence, basils is that he doesn't accept it happen, kel's in that he accepts it too early as the therapist friend, and believes everyone else is overreacting, Mari's a perfectionist and is hard on sunny, and hero goes into a depressive state for months. But the thing is, omori is also about healing. They all heal. Kel learns he needs to help his friends accept it, Aubrey learns to control her emotions and accept others differences, basil, in the good ending, has the weight off his back and is able to accept what really happen, sunny overcomes his fears and faces everything, he finally makes past his cowardess for his friends and his own well good, and while mari never had the time to heal, I'm sure she was the first to forgive sunny, knowing her character.

2. 12-year-old would not feel "at peace" upon seeing his relative's dead body

He feels at peace that he doesn't need to worry about the repercussions anymore, as he didn't see the possibility of needing to say anything about it in the future. Again, he's naive and doesn't see future possibilities.

3. he's stupid, he doesn't know what a fucking lemon is, Now that is a new one. Stupidity doesn't grant you an examption from criticism.

I was referring, literally, to him calling lemons oragnes. He is naive to the reality of situations, and often believes what he dreams about. He hasn't been in school or anything, he doesn't know how to react socially.

4. it was a complete accident, It wasn't.

Mari grabbed his arm supposedly to keep him from running away to his room. He pushes her back to get away, and mari's bad knee ("omori, slow down! I can't go that fast with my *bad knee.*) gives in, causing her to trip. He didn't mean for her to fall.

If I said every other little thing I disagreed with, I'd be writing as fast as Alexander Hamilton writing the other 50-something letters out of 70.

Alrighty, so since the user I reblogged earlier apparently doesn't want to engage in any conversation with the people they're lambasting, I'm making my reblog a separate post. I'm nothing if not willing to talk :)

learning to forgive yourself even after seeing the full weight of the consequences of your actions, and realizing that you can still be loved and relearn how to love despite everything

1) "forgive yourself" I am not Sunny, and Sunny is not me.

2) Why should I be inclined to forgive an unlikeable asshole who killed his own sister because he's too self-centered to consider her feelings, lied about it to his friends, did next to nothing to show he cares about them during the game's events (the only time he tries doing anything for anyone is when he stops Basil's suicide attempt, and even then he contemplated ditching him again as a legitimate option) and then left them after revealing he lied to them for the last 4 years while bitching about how hard it is for him to live with the guilt?

Why should I root for him? I'd love to hear a reason other than "He has trauma!" or "He's the protagonist!" or "His love for his friends is shown via the dream world he has in his head!" or an ad hominem attack.

overcoming grief and realizing the world still moves on, with or without you, whether or not you think it's fair or if you blame yourself

OMORI isn't a game about overcoming the grief of a loss. It is a game about a character who's grapping with the well-earned guilt for taking another person's life and then lying about it. Those are quite different things.

Such an argument would've been applicable had Mari actually turned out to have killed herself.

You still have responsibility over your actions, and everything you do still matters,

Which is why the gang's reactions to what Sunny's done didn't matter enough for the game to show them, I suppose.

You still can change people's lives for the better or worse even if you think you aren't worth a second thought.

Sunny changed his friends' lives for the worse. And then he left.

I really enjoy this game can you tell.

Good for you! Doesn't mean others can't point out the main character is a nasty piece of shit and the writing has more holes in it than Swiss cheese, though.

I do think some people need to retake basic literature classes or touch grass perhaps

How classy. Is it because "some people" are not reading the game the way you want them to? :)

Look. You're well within your right to shove your fingers into your ears and go "lalalala I'm not listening!" when someone tries to explain their point of view to you and you don't like it. But you can't criticize people for different opinions when you refuse to listen to any explanations.

[crabsnpersimmons]

Hello there!

I'd like to know your advice on drawing tablets?

As in, what do you use for your digital art? Is there any you suggest?

I'm planning on getting one, but there are so many options, and I'd like to know your opinion and preference.

Thank you ^^

hi anon! thanks for the question!

i draw with a samsung galaxy tab s7!

BUT if this is your first time drawing digitally, then it's a good idea to test out if you like it with cheaper options first (so you don't drop a whole lot of money on a hobby/medium of art you don't enjoy)

some suggestions:

if you have a smart phone, try drawing with your finger using free to use drawing apps like ibispaint X or HiPaint (i recommend HiPaint cuz the UI is a lot simpler and less overwhelming, but both have a good selection of tools. i wanna say ibispaint has better text tools tho and there's A LOT more tutorials and resources online) drawing digitally with your finger is different from drawing digitally with a pen AND drawing traditionally, but this is a good way to familiarize yourself with digital art tools. a very simple entry point if you already have a smart phone.

if you don't want to draw with your finger (understandable, i personally couldn't stand it) you can try simple drawing tablets, which are the tablets that you plug into your computer/laptop, come with a pen, but they don't have a screen you draw directly on. they're actually a lot more affordable nowadays (i saw some for under $50 CAD, which is WILD), so that’s a good starting option if you want to draw with a pen. with a pen, you have more control with line weights than you do with your finger, but it takes practice to get used to. it also takes some getting use to drawing on a tablet and looking at your monitor, but this is where i started haha. i still have my old bamboo wacom create drawing tablet. but nowadays, other brands like xp-pen and huion are very comparable to wacom, so definitely consider getting a cheaper one to try out first. of course, if you go with a drawing tablet, you'll need an art program on your computer. i've used photoshop and clip studio paint and they're very good, but probably overwhelming for people who are new to digital art (they are loaded with tools and you have to really familiarize yourself with the menus and everything). there are probably simpler options available... but i'm not as familiar with them. oh wait, i think there are some drawing tablets that can also connect with your smart phone too nowadays. man, that's so cool. that's probably a better option instead of purchasing photoshop or clip studio paint right off the bat.

if you REALLY want a screen display experience, try a cheaper general tablet. iPads are a popular option if you're comfortable with the Apple ecosystem (i'm not 😅) but they can be pricey PLUS you have to buy the Apple pen separately. for Android, I'm pretty sure even the Samsung Galaxy Tab S6 is a solid choice and it comes with a pen unlike an iPad. the SPen is built with Wacom tech, so you know it's quality. and while iPad has Procreate, HiPaint is available for Android and it's basically a Procreate clone (i explain more about HiPaint here) otherwise, ibisPaint X is also good and infinite painter is probably the most sophisticated free to use drawing app i've encountered (sophisticated as in it does a pretty good job at imitating traditional media in their brushes. it's cool, but the free version is very limited).

also if you like watching videos, Brad Colbow and Teoh on Tech on YouTube are great resources. they specifically review tech from an artist's perspective.

why i suggest testing it out is because if you're used to drawing traditionally, then switching to digital is a different experience. some artists can't get used to drawing digitally, and that's fine. that's why it's a good idea to test it out with a cheaper option first to see if you like it and to give yourself time to familiarize yourself with drawing apps/programs. i actually kinda hated drawing digitally at first. i didn't have the same level of control that i was used to with drawing traditionally. and overtime i made a lot of bad habits with my digital art that i had to unlearn by switching back to traditional art for a couple years (some bad habits like: relying on the Undo button to make "perfect" lines; trying to draw really fast because the pen glides over the screen unlike a pencil has friction against paper) so... give it a try and just let yourself have fun. don't worry about making anything perfect, just have fun!

[fyodorsushankaaa]

Why Gifted Kids Are Actually Special Needs

why am i crying over a video.

[imthepunchlord]

I think that the main problem with Marinette is that she always gets blamed for minor things, but her bigger mistakes are ignored.

She also gets blamed for things that aren't her fault. Like Reverser I blame Nathaniel and his extreme expectations, and Refleckdoll, it was Alya who was making things worse for Juleka while Marinette was trying to help. Gamer's another as she did play fair and square, and won fair and square.

But yeah, ML has an issue with priorities. With the mindset that ONLY Marinette can be at fault, which has her at fault for things that actually aren't her fault or are minor things when there are bigger faults with others; and that, for Marinette's actual faults and issues, they don't focus on the actual problems.

For one thing, Marinette is a perfectionist, in her work and responsibilities, and in how she helps people. This leads to her being meddling and controlling. With good intentions but she can take it far. She even has this idea that only she can be the solution, though more in an Atlas complex way than being egotistical.

Which I'll give the show this, by how it's set up, Adrien and Marinette kinda feed this bad aspect of their dynamic into each other. Adrien goofs around as a hero or doesn't take situations seriously with his flirting at bad times, so Marinette feels like she has to step up more as leader and responsible one, and Adrien doesn't get a chance to take things more seriously or be the leader as Marinette doesn't expect him to, which leads to his frustration of not being as valued as a partner like he wants and he acts out, and Marinette sees she can't rely on him as much and it just cycles.

I know the show sorta tries to address this with the insistence that Marinette can trust Alya and doesn't need to shoulder everything, which is great, if they didn't take it back right away validating Marinette in being right in not trusting Alya.

Which man, that's one of Marinette's actual big issues, and you address it, and then take two steps back and reverse and vindicate the flawful mindset.

Another big issue is her over involving herself in this she doesn't or shouldn't get involved with, meddling included. She could do to ease back, let others solve their own problems. Like, Darkblade comes to mind (though there may be a better example). I do think it was a good episode, but you got Marinette admitting she's already busy, and doesn't want to be class rep, but steps up as no one else is. This is just an added responsibility she doesn't need but does so because she's involving herself in others problems.

This also leads into the other issue: Marinette's tendency to overpile onto her plate. They even focused on this in Gamer 2.0 but instead of doing a lesson of learning to ease up, take a break, and have fun (which Adrien could've been great for, heck, could've had them bond over a busy lifestyle); but nope, she passes Max off to her parents and continue being busy.

And of course, there's the big issue of her crush.

Like, they're 13-14 yos dealing with first crushes, they're going to be cringe and crazy as they don't know how to handle this, but they just take it way too far. And the extremes it's taken isn't even funny but concerning.

Marinette having his schedule.

The hoard of pictures.

Jealousy that spirals to extremes.

And having rose colored view of Adrien, to thinking he can never do wrong and feeling like she needs to protect and assist him, even at the risk of herself (Collector).

Part of the worst part about this is that this exists for the writers' amusement, taking it to unlikable extremes and not portrayed as really bad flaws that need to be addressed or have lessons about; which leads me to question what's the exaggeration and what can be more accurate/reasonable for the cringey, dramatic crush. Some of which could've been fine issues to fault her for and for her to get called out and learn from, but we don't get that, all we get is unpleasantness.

Oh! You could also cover Marinette's lack of prioritizing herself, and may not knowing how to take a break and have fun. Cause I don't know if this girl knows how to relax. And she definitely doesn't behave like a kid, but much older. Could even delve into the friendship problems she has not really connecting with her friends as well because she doesn't know how to be a kid, how to mess around and goof off.

Marinette has a good number of issues and flaws that can be addressed and worked with, but they pick the wrong ones to focus on.

[astropookie]

Sun houses and fathers 🌞

Yoshitomi Nara

✨first post of 2024✨

take what resonates, leave what don’t 🎀 you don’t have to necessarily identify with it.

*I use whole sign system -house system- for more certainty

9H: you’re learning constantly from your dad. he teaches you what he’ve learned through his life. he’s teaching you about his mindset, the origin of his beliefs, why he stands for them. he could be someone very religious or faithful, and through that faith he could have teach you things he know now. also, he could be really philosophical and probably has a fixation with politics, investing. he could seem very patient or is constantly worried trying to understand how he can help you.

10H: your dad could be someone really hardworking, who you could have seen work really hard through all this years, making sure you’re satisfied in the economic and study aspect. he could have not been present too much when you were growing up and when he showed up he was too strict, he probably wasn’t conscious or didn’t know how to approach you -could be bc they thought him to bottle up his emotions-. you could end up studying/working on the same career/field your dad’s in.

11H: your dad it’s okay with who you are, or what side you show to them🧐. you’re their fav or they left you. you could feel like the only child/you are. he could seem too disperse, take it how you want to. idk why but mostly of dads of sun 11H are younger than what’s expected. he’s permissive. you were a spoiled kid, that has to do with your dad. “dreams” that word is important, he had a lot of influence and power over yours, he could have destroyed them or making sure you have all the resources -depending on the aspects-.

12H: your dad won’t judge your decisions or you. he’ll be a support. he could have difficulties to put limits in a father-son relationship, you could have felt stressed when you’re seeing how your dad is being bullied by your siblings bc of that attitude. you could have being the one who is protecting them or you’re the more serious/introverted one in the dynamic. or the total opposite: he’s too strict and you had to be careful on how to act. there’s something that happened there… you two could share something obvious, an interest, physical appearance, an adjective, etc. something everyone can point out. also, you could feel a strong or subconscious connection with your dad’s sight of the family.

5H: idk why I have the feeling you didn’t saw your dad for a long time and then you saw him, I’m trying to express that your relationship with him it’s not constant. he could be explosive or impulsive. he could contradict himself so much. he could have had you without planning it/unexpected -you were a surprise for him 🤩-. could be that your parents were young when they had you and etc. that’s why you’re like an experiment 😭 your dad doesn’t know how to approach you and he has a temperament. emotions here are fiery, when each other express their emotions they don’t take a seat and have a chat with a cup of tea, they’ll say how they feel crying and screaming.

6H: your dad could have OCD, no, I’m lying, but he could be really fucked up about order. “thinks have to be like this, why you didn’t let me this at this time?” Or the total opposite, not in the middle. he could get sticker in his routine and if things are not how he planned he get stressed. a perfectionist. he could be strict or conservative. he’s sarcastic, that’s why you could be sarcastic too. he’s hardworking and also could help on campaigns and etc. at some point you could have helped him on working on his health. and you could be the one who end up taking care of him/being the sibling who spends more time with him.

♡ Based on personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

♡ English is not my first language.

♡ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

[tarot-by-e11e]

PAC: "What do you need to let go of?" (call-out from your guides)

"Once we rid ourselves of the shackles of our own self-imposed limitations, we will be able to soar higher and further than the birds in the sky." - said by me

(reminder: this is for entertainment purposes only. Only take what resonates) Choose with mic will lovingly call you out~

Pile 1:

Pile 1: 8 of Coins, Judgement, 7 of Cups, 3 of Cups

Right off the bat, the first phrase I heard was, “unrealistic high standards”. Oomph. *nervously looking away*

Pile 1, by any chance, are you known as the “resident heartbreaker” in your community because of the trail of broken hearts you leave behind? It’s great to have standards but you need also to remember that nobody’s perfect, not even you dear pile 1.  There’s this journal prompt(?) I’ve encountered before about listing down all the characteristics you want in your ideal partner, then sitting down and reflecting if your ideal would wish to have a partner like you. It’s such a humbling yet eye-opening journal prompt TBH. Don’t expect the best if you won’t show up as the best version of yourself. Like… if you want the best, you have to be the best version of yourself as well.

What you also need to let go of Pile 1 is your hyper-self-awareness. Granted that it’s great knowing what your strengths and weaknesses are but there is such a thing as too much. I heard, “A healthy balance is key” in your case. Sorry for the call out Pile 1 but from the second card as well, your perfectionistic tendencies are slowly making themselves known. You might have these “all-or-nothing” tendencies, like a “black-or-white” mindset sometimes. It seems you have high standards for others and yourself, so you tend to intellectualize your feelings instead of feeling them. Again, apologies for the call-out Pile 1.

The last card feels like a desperation for external validation. Like, you feel you always need someone to impress or win over to feel like you’re good enough. There’s this unworthiness wound that needs to be addressed. Also, chronic people-pleasing tendencies to the point of immediate self-sacrificial tendencies. Pile 1, you need to learn to let go of this unhealthy thirst for external validation. Because the moment you lose your “audience”, you feel lost and listless. You need to remember that you are worthy of love, happiness, and success in life because you exist.

Pile 2:

Pile 2: 2 of Cups, Tower, 10 of Swords, Strength

I’m saying sorry in advance Pile 2 but the first thing I heard was, “You need to learn to be happy alone.” Pile 2 either is the type that can’t stand being single or is a hopeless romantic that has more fictional crushes than actual human relationships. (Apologies to all the romance genre bookworms all over the world). This pile falls under those two categories~

So for the serial daters, it seems that you need to take a bit of a break/pause and assess what do you want in a partner, your non-negotiables and negotiables. You are asked to don’t say to every person that asks you out. Also heard that, don’t date just because you’re bored, lonely, or have a lot of time to spare. Basically, you are called to only get into a relationship for the right reasons.

Now for the hopeless romantic who prefers fictional men to real men, I understand that you might have heard stories or had experiences that made you always choose the bear every single time. Those horror stories are an unfortunate reality for people into men. But I can’t, in my good conscience as having nephews, say that all men are despicable human beings. Granted, not all men but still they’re men. So… what I’m saying here is, that your fictional boyfriends would want you to actually experience happiness through real human interactions too. So yup, keep your guard up to those who wear their red flags with pride, but do try to give a chance to good men out there.

What you also need to let go of Pile 2 is your destructive coping mechanisms whenever you feel triggered by your traumas. Yes, I’m sorry to have it break it to you. You kinda felt this would eventually be mentioned, right? You are aware of your own destructive tendencies when triggered. You are aware that you unintentionally hurt your loved ones whenever they trigger you. And you also know you want to stop hurting people in the process. If therapy is expensive, try searching for somatic exercises and eft tapping. You don’t always have to swallow a pill to get better at managing your anger issues and self-sabotaging tendencies. You just have to give yourself a safe space to be able to honor and validate your feelings/pain/trauma. Treat yourself as gentle and compassionate as possible, like you would a child who’s just learning how to walk and talk.

Lastly, you are called to let go of your arrogance. I’m really sorry for the call-out Pile 2 but the cards have spoken. It’s great to know within yourself that you can walk your talk but you might have the tendency to bulldoze anyone that crosses your path. This might even cause an issue with authority figures. There’s a fine line between arrogance and confidence that you need to learn to master. It’ll help with the harmonious dynamics between you and your coworkers.

Pile 3:

Pile 3: 10 of Wands, 6 of Coins, Queen of Coins, Wheel of Fortune

Pile 3 feels like my burnt-out workaholic pile from the get-go. Being burdened by too much on your plate. Pile 3 might actually tend to take on other people’s problems. I understand you want to help out but you need to understand that you have limits too. You are asked to let go of the burdens that aren’t actually yours to begin with. You’re also asked to reprioritize your needs and responsibilities first before even considering helping someone else with their problems. I kept hearing, “You can’t pour out of an empty cup.”

Why does it feel like Pile 3 is my overly giving and generous pile? Sweetheart, please… I get how you want to help others out and give whenever you can. Just don’t forget to keep some for yourself, okay? I’m not asking you to stop being generous. I’m asking you to discern who genuinely needs your generosity and who is abusing your kind and loving heart. Unfortunately, not everyone deserves you and your generous heart.

Pile 3, your pile really has me crying and whimpering, “Please stop letting people walk all over you.” No wonder y’all are burnt out, you are the most loving, generous, and nurturing souls in the world to the point of being easy prey for abusive, manipulative narcissists. I’m begging you Pile 3, discernment and boundaries. You’re so nurturing and caring to the point of ignoring someone’s red flags. So… you have to actually learn how to have healthy boundaries and practice discernment. Don’t entertain the idea/potential of a person and see them for who they really are.

The last card feels like you need to let go of being too much of a “going with the flow” to the point of not taking charge of your own life, Pile 3. I understand you’re adaptable and know how to roll with the punches, but it also feels like a drifter with no roots. Always letting yourself be carried wherever the wind blows, can be interpreted as letting people dictate how you should live your life. It seems that pile 3 tends to take a passive approach to living your life. I understand that people who are of authority claim they want what’s best for you, but that’s what’s best based on THEIR values and preferences, not YOURS. So… please Pile 3, take the time to figure out what do you actually want to do with your life, in your own way. You are not just someone’s child, not just someone’s sibling/parent, not just someone’s friend/classmate/coworker. You are your own person, with a heart that feels and a mind that can think for themselves.

Pile 4:

Pile 4: 2 of Coins, 6 of Swords, Knight of Swords, Chariot

The first card of Pile 4 feels like you need to let go of only prioritizing your needs while disregarding your desires. It’s great to know how to be practical and resourceful, but you tend to only focus on nurturing the physical and basic needs, you tend to forget your emotional needs too. You tend to forget that you can let yourself enjoy your life while you work hard to provide for yourself and your family. I’m hearing, “self-care” is something you need to prioritize. Don’t just say, “Oh, I can just enjoy the fruits of my labor later” then realize your knees can’t even be stable enough to carry your body to your bathroom. The last I heard from the first card was “Go on a vacation and treat yourself while your body is still able to live and move with ease.”

The next thing you need to let go of is your cut-off game, specifically your tendency to ghost people. It seems that Pile 4 is quite quick to cut people out of your lives without notice. It seems that pile 4 also tends to cut someone out of their life on impulse. Like, no explanation, no notice, no last goodbye. This is giving “ghosting” vibes. It’s like, the person you cut off didn’t even do anything wrong, yet pile 4 while just going ghost without a valid reason. Like, pile 4 may go ghost whenever someone is getting a bit too close to your heart and you tend to run before they even get a chance to offer any friendship/commitment. Pile 4, are you a commitment phobe?

Pile 4, what you need to let go of is your impatience. Not just towards others, but also towards yourself. The littlest inconveniences make you lose your cool quicker than a mic drop. Not everyone is capable of keeping up with your demands and requests, not even you. So please, learn to be more understanding and patient with yourself and other people. I understand that you want to just go-go-go, but you need to know that you shouldn’t bulldoze your way through life. Learn to pace yourself by taking the time to smell the roses. There’s nothing wrong about going after what you want to get done, but you just need to remember that you don’t always do everything perfectly in the first try. You too make mistakes. You too need time to learn from your mistakes and become a better version of yourself. So please, show yourself and others the same compassion and patience you wished someone would give you.

Finally, the last thing pile 4 needs to let go of is “being controlling”. I’m really sorry for this call-out Pile 4 but you must have heard this from someone else before. Just because you know what’s best and know how to do it best, it doesn’t mean you should always take the reins and just control everything and everyone to bend into your will. Your way isn’t the only way to do things. You might be surprised that there are other ways to go about a task with minimal damage and effort. So please, let go of the concept that you have to always take charge and always be the leader.

Thank you for trying out my PAC reading. Feel free to give me a feedback on how your pile resonates with you.

[sydneymykah]

☆☆THE STRUGGLE OF ROUTINE ☆☆

✧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Some people can just get out of bed and automatically do what they need to do to get the day started. And the same people seem to be the ones we see the most on our screens. "My Morning Routine", "My weekly regimen", "What I eat in a day", and "My Nightly Routine". These people are seemingly put together and perfect like their said routines. But here you are slouched on your undone bed, still in your pajamas, wearing makeup from the day before after waking up after 12 pm. You meaning me, lmao. ☆...

☆The struggle of routine is something we all face regardless of what social media persists to tell us. But I don't really want to talk about how "social media is fake" because that's not even fully true. Some people really do live like this and have very structured routines for their day to day lives, granted it's what pays their bills but that's still technically their routine. But I'm more concerned about talking about how DIFFICULT it is to keep a constant routine. Especially in this weird time we live in.

ミ★I'm a perfectionist. I hate when things don't go the way I want and I tend to want things one way or not at all. But life doesn't live by those rules. Life will throw whatever the hell it wants at you, whenever it feels like it. As an individual you have to learn to work around it all. For me it's an inconsistent work schedule, minor (or major) inconveniences, mood swings, and of course the main culprit is laziness/lack of discipline.

☆We've all done it. On a random day of the week you're up way too late reflecting on your life and what you're doing with it. You suddenly feel the hyperactive urge to fix everything about yourself. You want the perfect body before the summer. You want your hair to grow longer faster. You want to get all your life goals written down and planned out dow not the last minute. You want to post a 1 minute video everyday on TikTok at exactly 3 pm EST and post at least 4 pictures to your instagram every other day. So you open the notes app and make an extremely specific, unrealistic, and way too intense routine to follow everyday. You set reminders, add 30 new alarms to your phone, you fill your amazon cart with stuff you believe you'll defiantly use. And after you make yet another playlist of YouTube workout videos you go to bed confident your life is gonna change forever after this...

Now one of two things happen:

You completely throw away the routine the minute you wake up the next day

Or, you do it for a few days but eventually burnout and find yourself back where you were before, now with just more useless junk you have no room for...

ミ★I have personally been both. But we can all empathize with this because if maintaining a routine was easy it wouldn't be such a successful phenomenon online. Out of the millions of views under "my morning routine" posts, many, if not majority, of them are people who wish they can live the way these people do. I think we as people have developed mindsets that are negative first, positive later. Ever since the quarantine we've been used to online overconsumption. The idea that "more is better", and the scare that was the virus has sparked this fear in us that is wasted time. Hence us wanting to build new giant routines in the middle of the night just to eventually abandon it because our minds and bodies don't evolve or develop like that overnight. Most the time the routines are grueling and just makes us feel exhausted over accomplished. When we don't see immediate change a lot people, including myself, give up then and there.

☆Im not here to tell you how to keep a constant routine or how to become more disciplined because all that information is in the palm of your hands. Honestly at the end of the day it's about your mindset. Realizing what is around you and remembering the reality you live in. You want that body? You want that hair growth? You want to post? It's all possible but here's where the issue lies:

ミ★We forget to forgive ourselves and to be patient with ourselves. We fall under the pressure to perform for social media as well. In this digital age we try to make social media real life 24/7 and put real life on the back burner. Everything must be aesthetic or else! Or if you can't keep a constant routine for a week you're a failure! But the reality is no one just wakes up in their perfect aesthetic one day and has this perfect routine down pat the first time. Another thing that we keep doing is what everyone else is doing. Another example of putting the online first before real life. We've forgotten the beauty of growth, and how things develop overtime. It reminds me of how small artists have the potential to blow up overnight. They suddenly have all these eyes on them and then the GP turns on them simply because their exceptions don't match the artist's personal growth. I think we do the same to ourselves. But regardless of what other people, social media or even what you might even say to yourself the best way to find a good routine is get to know yourself, not someone else. And to not go by others expectations. It's good to hold yourself to a high regard and to make ambitious goals. But you should remind yourself that you want this to last and you don't want to burn yourself out trying to perfect your life like it's a speed run.

☆When following creators who makes content like this I advise to follow people you relate to first. Not saying you can't follow those extremely aesthetic ASMR morning/Night routine videos because hell I watch them too. But know that I watch them for simply that. I've come to the point where I can watch that stuff and not feel incompetent or that I'm failing in life but I digress. Don't pay attention to the many trends and what's hot, just look for people who you might see yourself in, or people who have qualities similar to yours. Physically, mentally, ect. Because if you're a black girl who wants to know how to do a specific 4C hairstyle you're not going to the white girl influencers for tutorials are you? For me I watch Jackie Aina. Her and I don't even have the same tastes in certain aspects, specifically clothing and home decor but she reminds me a lot of myself and some of my values. Her content inspires me but doesn't make me feel like I need to reinvent myself overnight. That's not realistic nor healthy. I think subjecting yourself to that will just give you an identity crisis. Her content helps me feel confident and you should follow people like that too.

ミ★My purpose of this post is not "continue to be a slob" (I'm a Taurus stellium and Venusian. Girl we don't do that over 'chere.) it's to remind and to encourage. A reminder that what you see online isn't what real life is 24/7. Doesn't mean it's all fake, it just means that life doesn't just look like one thing. Social media just tends to make our vision a bit tunneled. Yes, some peoples lives surround what they eat in a day, what they do when they get out of bed, and the steps they follow in their nighttime skincare routine. But our attachment and overconsumption to these types of creators constantly fails to remind us that they're still human. Hell even when the human creators tell y'all "hey I'm human" they still aren't treated as such but guess what? They are! So are you. You are still human. Finding a groove that works for you will take time. And many times you will fail. You will probably forget to do something, you won't have the time for certain tasks, or an inconvenience will pop up out of no where that knocks you off course. But if at first you don't succeed, try again. Social media picture perfect propaganda (lol) has made us forget that life happens and that we will essentially always struggle with routine. Some things stick, some things don't. Some routines last a long time, some only stay for a day. We live in an age where everyone's trying to move as fast as they can to keep with the trends, keep up appearances, and to make up for lost time. And as much as I love the thrill of the fast life, how can I expect to see my growth, what I like, what needs changing and how to fall into a good rhythm when I'm too busy trying to keep up.

✧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Xoxo, Sydney Mykah -☆

[riizebabie444]

☆ ─── hello and welcome to today’s tarot reading which is about your first impression of your future spouse and your future spouse’s first impression of you, with some other tidbits of information about them and you.

☆ ─── be sure to check out my other readings and don’t forget to share and give feedback. disclaimer: all readings done are for entertainment only. please do not use my tarot readings as a replacement for legitimate advice.

☆ ─── picking your pile: take a deep breath and allow your soul to centre itself. when you feel your mind balanced and cleared, allow yourself to be drawn to an image. your eyes may gravitate to one, or you may close your eyes and feel which image is calling out.

☆ ─── masterlist. paid readings. exchange rules.

donations. games/events. feedback.

☆ ─── 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏

your first impression of them: i'm getting masculine energy that may seem like they are in a job or position of high power. for example, you might look at them and immediately assume they are involved in jobs related to law, military, police etc. it's possible that these may be their professions, however, for some it may just be a first impression. their aura as a whole is penetrative; they seem to have intellectual power, they have an authoritative demeanour. very boss-like. they seem cool and confident. not entirely lacking of emotions but you may immediately think "oh, this person is totally emotionally constipated." but i don't think this is entirely the case. they do have emotions and perhaps i picked up those professions earlier because this person has strong feelings when it comes to justice. but like the profession itself, they require their emotions to be strained because life is too difficult for emotions to rule their life. it's possible that for some of you, you may assume they are married at a first glance. for some, they may have children or during your first meetings, they may mention children or show you them. so naturally, you would assume they are married. let's not be homewreckers here, for the small number of you which this applies to. this is just a first impression, not an absolute truth and by no means does this suggest you should break apart a marriage or family. it could also be that they are someone who seems desperate to marry. you see them as lonely, needing of a true and passionate companion. and it could also suggest that when you first meet your person, you know from the very beginning that you will marry them. you know, one of those people that you can't help crushing on when you barely know them, and before you know it, you have a whole wedding and family planned out with them in your imagination. be careful not to fall in love too quickly, because this person might bring about a lot of delay. a delay of emotions, of love, of work. whatever it is, adventures end just as quickly as they start. you understand this from your first impressions of them, but it may be something you choose to ignore.

their first impression of you: firstly, they get a mix of both masculine and feminine energy from you. you seem to be someone who has control, someone who is active and knows what to do with their life. but they also see from the first impression that you have control over other things, like emotions. you may seem uptight at first. you come off as a total perfectionist. perhaps a workaholic, too. you seem to have mastered a lot of skill, but you come off to them as a person that is too engrossed in self-development. don't get me wrong, self-development is good. but their first impression tells me they think you are all "me, me, me!", putting all the work into yourself and never giving any effort to anyone else unless it allows you to achieve your own goals by doing so. they might also think you are too delusional about your financial state. at the time they meet you, you could have the "i manifested this!" mindset, but they may not believe in things like manifestation, and so, they assume you are delusional. they also have the first impression that you are a reckless spender. they'd rather you see and understand how you became into your position by your own efforts, and not what the universe has manifested for you. they might also see you initially as someone who moves too fast. they'll get to know you and won't be able to keep up. they think you should slow down, "hold your horses!" - especially in regards to career and money.

☆ ─── 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐

your first impression of them: i believe you will have a hard time deciding on what your first impression of them is. you could typically be the type of person who categorises people as "good or bad" and use your judgements to decide whether they are worthy of being in your life. but it will be hard for you to decide with this person. you don't know whether you should avoid them or keep seeing them. this could also suggest that you initially find this person indecisive. though overall, i think despite the confusion, they are a person that seems balanced and brings you balance. they might seem quite fiery, perhaps a fire sign or fire energy. they may come off as clumsy, but they are a person with fantastical thoughts and ideas. you might also think they are an "ace". good at everything, excels in anything they try. despite their clumsiness, they seem to always find success. you may perhaps meet them in a work environment, so you see more than one side of them. this is why it is hard for me to say you have a clear and concise first impression. they seem to know themselves, never wavering in fear. they believe in themselves above anything and you would admire this about them. they may initially seem too loud, too energetic. but they are deeply passionate and courageous.

their first impression of you: i immediately see that for some of you, when you and your person meet or make first impressions, you will be celebrating a personal achievement. perhaps a new job, new home, you quit smoking, or even something small and related to self-care. whatever this goal is, it is special to you and it will likely be one of the very first things they get to know about you. so initially, they will be proud, despite not knowing you well, or at all. they might also think your small goal is cute, and that you are cute for being so proud and excited for achieving it. go you! hard work definitely pays off and they get that vibe from you. you work hard to achieve something and you take time to admire all the results of your efforts. like a gardener who can't stop staring at their garden - this is the image they have of you. they think that you are the type of person who goes by the motto "no matter what life brings, it is a learning experience." however, they may also wonder if you are judgemental, or quick to judge. i don't see this in a negative way, but rather in an innocent way. you make quick judgement and speak or act in certain ways without realising how judgemental it could be until afterwards. they will notice this early on. and for some of you, they may think you are too high up in your head. it's good to be intuitive, to have compassion and empathy. but sometimes, they think you need to escape your mind and have a taste of the real world. lastly, for some of you, they may think you are so mysterious.

☆ ─── 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑

your first impression of them: you think they are a total loner. i'll try to be nice about it but the loner energy is way too strong. i think you will think negatively of them at first, someone who lacks friends and perhaps even family. it could be a red flag to you - there must be a reason they have no one close in their lives, no? i think they have a very lonely and sorrowful look and demeanour about them that makes you want to stay away. alternatively, it may mean you will meet them at a time when either you or them (or both) are going through a period of loneliness and social withdrawal, and for some of you, a breakup. you may think this person needs to reflect on their self-worth. i'm sorry if it may not be ideal for you to hear, but it's likely your person is going through it and you simply do not want to deal with it. yet, at the same time, you have these impressions of them but you can't stop thinking about them, worrying about them. the thoughts that keep you up at night, "i don't even know this person, i don't want to know this person but why can't i sleep? why am i so worried if they are doing okay or not?" there is still a good part of you that wants to reach out and i hope it will. keep in mind, these are just first impressions. their attitude can change at anytime so be aware that they may believe "if you don't love me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." i'm not attempting to intimidate you into checking on them and forcing yourself to be in their life, but keep it in mind. because you will realise later on that they are not the person you had thought they were.

their first impression of you: they may look at you and think "wow, you come from a really good family." this is in terms of abundance, wealth, finance, success. they immediately assume you are someone who has been materialistically provided for. for some, they may tease you about "mommy's/daddy's money" and whether this is the case or not is none of their business at all. if i were you, pile three, i'd tell them straight away that you will not tolerate teasing about your financial position, because it's most likely they said it due to their own insecurities being triggered from the sight of you. don't let words like this dismay you. it could also be the case that someone else says this to you, or about you, and they will defend you. for some, a friend or colleague may say demeaning comments about your wealth and they will say "well, where is your money? stop being jealous." they may not know you well, but their first impressions at least make them want to defend you. however, it is no use in denying that they also had these fleeting thoughts too. that you are power hungry, the money got to your head. however, they will soon realise you are like a double-edged sword. money is good, and money is bad. success is good, and success is bad. "heavy is the head that wears the crown." you may also tease them, and that is why they think you are quite boastful and tyrannical, but as i've said throughout. this is not a bad thing because genuine, long-lasting impressions are very rarely the same as first impressions. and for a number of you, they may think you are generous, or would like to know how generous you are. not in a "buying them things" kind of way, but how you choose to help others, and how much of your resources (financial, emotional, time) you are willing to give to others.

© lueurais — please do not copy, steal or repost anywhere.

[batsplat]

hello i saw in your tags that you don't think people on here get casey stoner and as someone relatively new into the sport i would love to hear your thoughts <3

(context here) okay first of all, this post will be framed as ‘things I wish people talked about more with regards to casey stoner’, rather than arguing against what I think people think

I've tried to come up with a concise response to this ask but kept heading into thesis-length territory. so I decided to write a bullet point list and it’s still… yeah… but well it could be worse. if you, dear anon, wish to read thousands of words of casey stoner lore then please let me know. otherwise, here are just a few things I find interesting about this bloke:

casey has a very complex relationship with the concept of confidence, both in other riders and himself, in the sense that he KNOWS how important it is but also believes/wishes that he specifically is kinda above all that

this feeds into how he wishes that racing were Just Racing and not all this other stuff… not his brain not his body not other racers being assholes on/off track not talking to journalists or doing photoshoots not having to deal with politics etc etc - central underlying tension of his career

he has openly spoken about not ever really enjoying race day, saying the only thing he's missed after retiring is qualifying. very perfectionist, the anxiety, the over-thinking, craving control… all key casey traits

(which also ties in with the valentino rivalry, because valentino obviously adores racing (in particular wheel-to-wheel battle) but he’s also great at all that other off-track stuff)

some very rigid ideas of How The Sport Should Look, which you can see in everything from how he talks about racing standards to the introduction of CRT riders (he had it OUT for them, head hot every time aleix espargaro shows up in parc fermé) to valentino’s influence on ducati and the importance of the colour red

let him have his mean streak! the grim satisfaction in discussing jorge’s 2008 injuries after his early-season arrogance towards casey, the dismissiveness towards dani, some of the wilder valentino remarks (this isn’t a criticism to be clear, alien-on-alien violence is part of the natural order of things)

casey is a classic case of ‘just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they aren’t after you’. definitely a suspicious guy and perpetual underdog 'me against the world' mindset. not to get too psychoanalytic-y, but I reckon this was partly born out of how he had to leave australia as a teenager (with his family completely dependent on him succeeding) because of how the racing establishment down under fucked him over

they definitely were out to get him a lot of the time, cf yamaha and then ducati drama plus the slander from some of the greats of the sport, fellow riders, the media etc etc (particularly egregious in 2009 when he was dealing with his mystery illness and a lot of people said some pretty unpleasant stuff in his absence - here is just one example)

his struggles were constantly downplayed. the chronic fatigue misdiagnosed as lactose intolerance led to people calling him weak-minded, broken, running away from the sport (part of why he was so allergic to the idea his results might in any way be connected to what was going on in his head). add in the undiagnosed anxiety and you have all this invisible strife people wouldn't even take seriously

that being said, he definitely did have a propensity for jumping to the worst possible conclusions

two specific examples: firstly from his autobiography, where he makes the claim that valentino may have been sabotaged in the 2006 title decider and was deliberately given a rubbish tyre to make him lose the championship - to which casey’s response was: “welcome to my world, mate”. he does have a tendency to believe he’s being sabotaged, and is constantly on the look out for conspiracies even when they are… unlikely

the other example is mat oxley talking about his issues with casey in his stint working for ducati, partly based on a misunderstanding:

something allegedly written about him in 2001!

let’s just say he can definitely hold a grudge

the moaner stoner stuff was definitely nasty, calling him mopey and whiny and all of that, but he also has never shied away from some good old-fashioned complaining (some of this was a bit of a spiral - complaining for good reason worsening public perception of him leading to more reasons to complain)

see also the lingering marc grudge, who probably did play a significant part in getting casey kicked out of honda (as casey has accused him of). whether marquez prevented stoner from racing in 2015 is more of an open question. casey still speaks about how honda made a mistake by only listening to marc (which, again, does have some truth to it)

casey was always very quick to shut down the idea that momentum, motivation, confidence etc could affect his results (unlike that of his competitors) because he argues he was always very rational & clear-sighted about when things were his fault & when things could be blamed on the bike + extraneous factors. he really goes into detail about this when discussing 2008 laguna seca in his autobiography, which he argues had no effect on him psychologically (but was followed by him crashing out of the lead of the next two races)

has definitely spoken more about his rivalry with valentino than valentino has, which probably has also helped shape perception of it over time

on ‘ambition outweighed talent’ - I feel like people almost understate just what a (hilariously) out of pocket remark it was in context. it was rossi’s second ever race at ducati (and the start of his season was impacted by his shoulder issues) - and the rain meant he had a ~win it or bin it~ approach because he knew it was as good a chance as he might get for some time (despite starting from 12th). the move on stoner for second place was at best optimistic, most definitely impatient and at worst foolish - but sort of understandable in that situation, rossi was definitely rapid, and this stuff can happen in the wet. in that sense, it was obviously more a reaction to the manner of the apology (and his frustration with the stewards) than to what casey himself described as a racing incident

stoner made a remark in his autobiography about how rossi had stolen 25 points in a title battle he was never going to be a part of (oof). whether you're obligated to race title contenders differently is already a bit sketch but certainly should not be a consideration for anybody in round TWO

he was forced to publicly retract the remarks, though he doubled down on them to a deeply funny extent in his autobiography by suggesting they were true of valentino’s entire career and that he’d just benefited from a weak era. rossi mostly took it on the chin especially when interviewed about it for documentaries, probably because with something like that you do just need to take the L

it's understandable how it’s become such a defining image of their rivalry (along with laguna seca), not least because of how evocative the whole thing is - rossi showing up still wearing his helmet, trying to make a PR apology stick while he’s been eating nauseating amounts of humble pie at ducati; stoner casual as you like, pissed off about the points loss while still indulging in schadenfreude about how the Great Big Ducati Adventure is working out for rossi

but again, I think it’s funnier because of just HOW over the top an insult it was in that situation (and more broadly how it does have a different vibe to their interactions when they were meaningfully competing, aka 2007-2008)

in conclusion: casey has his doubts and his insecurities and his obsessions and his foibles… a complicated guy in his own right

and a big thing I’d like to stress here is that the rivalry with valentino does benefit from treating them both as somewhat unreliable narrators

I just think he's neat

[twistedbloodstain]

vincent de gramont x assistant!reader: if my wishes came true it would've been you | a glimpse of the marquis.

plot: the one where the marquis isn’t so sure about you.

warnings: stalking, slight mention of violence, more stalking, staring, soft ooc marquis, invasion of privacy

masterlist

vincent de gramont. the marquis. unforgiving. determined. capable.

he is a man that exudes power by simply waving his hand or by the snap of his fingers. he does not need anyone. not when he has all the power and influence of an entire country. all he needs is himself, no one else. people are a liability, because of what we can feel for them. the moment you let them in. you start to do things that you shouldn’t, but you do it anyway for the mercurial high of their company. but in fact they don’t bring you up, they bring you down. of course, the marquis doesn’t do such practices, he can’t risk such vulnerability, if he is vulnerable then he is weak and the world be fucking damned before he let’s what he feel for someone tear him down.

a pessimist mindset. yes but why does it matter? he can’t even name someone who cares for him, at least someone who isn’t paid to do it. they don’t want his company, they want his money and power that he exercises over this world. the men want his coin and the women want the same or a night of pleasure, he might welcome that invitation if he isn’t busy enough.

there are three kinds of people in the world. those who have something to live for, those who have something to die for, and those who have something to kill for.

“oh, oh…poor vincent de gramont. who would search for him if he went missing? who would mourn his rotting corpse as it’s buried six feet underground?”

a mockery and threat of a rising drug lord when he had refused the terms of a deal. it annoyed him, as much as he didn’t expect it to get into his head. because why would he need to have that? soon he had the fool’s tongue pulled out by one of his men, he doesn’t let such insignificant things occupy his mind. but to answer his question there is one who would.

his assistant. that’s who, mildly amused with that thought. if i paid her more than enough my procession would be like the queen of fucking england. ironically, because his assistant falls into the three kinds of people and wants his money. at least she actually works for it. for once, the wages he’d given were actually worth her value, they weigh the same in a scale and he doesn’t feel forced to pay her that much because she gets the job done with exquisiteness.

when he’d first hired her, he thought she might be too good to be true. either she was a bragging and incompetent woman or a vying fusspot whose words are truthful. he doesn’t mind a perfectionist as long as she gets the job done. however good she might portray her character to him, he was still cautious around her.

this could be a calculated spy sent out take everything from me. if so, she might as well bloody think again. no one can rob me of what’s mine.

possible threats imagined or real must be carefully and quickly dealt with. so the first two months she works for him, he keeps his eyes on her. he has her followed to her home, which isn’t so bad but not really to his taste. but since she rarely gets home to manage personal matters with the endless pile of work he’s tasked her with there’s not much to be reported to him. just the mundane life of his assistant and her cat. he also has her background checked and it’s nothing malicious, truly just someone whose motives are sincere and harmless.

but it’s not enough. there has to be something. when she isn’t in her home, she’s in his mansion. the lavish and spacious place that always seems to awe her.

2:00 AM

a pair of guards open the large decorated chunky door for him, he struts through. quite exhausted from his previous affair that took several hours, something about an assassin getting out of the fold. he checks his watch and a slight scowl appears on his face, annoyed that meeting has taken too long for a good night’s sleep. he had a big day tomorrow, hordes of meetings and an opera in the afternoon. he’ll have to get up early if he wants to witness the entire spectacle.

“bring the car tomorrow around 6 AM and move the meeting with Allaire around-” vincent orders but pauses when he realizes the click of your heels were no longer heard in his ears.

he turns around and sees you motionless. you were occupied with gazing at the new painting that had arrived earlier that morning. he could sense the gears in your head turning, taking in the artistic beauty of the masterpiece. he wonders if just like him you appreciate historic works of art that preside in The Louvre or perhaps you like a more architect approach-

christ. what is he thinking, he’s not even sure of who they are and he’s interested in a pastime she might have? he swallows that thought down and buries it behind his mind.

by the sudden snap of his fingers, he snaps you out of your gaze. you face him rattled and a slight worry occupies your face when you realize you’ve been caught slacking.

“i’m so sorry sir. that won’t happen again, what time did you want the car brought?” you immediately apologize, saving your excuses from him. still bashful from the ogling you’ve done, you don’t meet his stare.

he knows you’re just as tired as him, you’ve been stuck with him for the entire day, organizing his schedule and arranging appointments. he decides to not chastise her for the momentary indolence and let it pass. although he is partly pleased you still try to keep your wits sharp and alert. christ, what in the world is he saying? it must be the lack of sleep, yes that’s it.

“bring the car tomorrow around 6 AM and move the meeting with Allaire around 7:30 AM. lastly, get up early. i have an important matter for you to attend to.” vincent says again, much more firmly this time with a harsh tone, a slightly futile attempt since his voice partly falls flat from fatigue.

“yes sir.” you answer straight away, jotting down what he just said into that little purple notebook.

he turns away from you and walks away to his room.

he has her spied in the mansion. every movement she makes in his home is reported by the guards and staff. rather unfortunate with the latter, since you’ve grown close with some of the staff and half of them inform you of your activities. what they’d reported was not what he was looking for. just filled with casual personal stuff and ventures he’d ordered you to do.

with all that extensive efforts settled, he feels somewhat assured that she won’t turn against him. now he just needs to keep her on his side, and to sense any form of betrayal that might cook while she’s in his employ. he instructs his men to halt from following her home but still let’s the staff inform him of her bustle from time to time. how does he keep her on his side? pressure and observation.

he gives her labors that are sometimes beyond her pay grade and leaves her alone to do it. it confounds her, very much. they both know this is not what they’d agreed to but surprise, surprise. she delivers as ordered, little to no flaws. he observes her reactions, to see if a recipe of hatred was cooking in the cauldron.

he keeps his eyes on you. the both of you just got out from a meeting with a drug lord that had rather difficult terms and conditions he wouldn’t agree to but he entertained them nonetheless for the sake of testing you. since the job fell on you to deliver those terms and conditions.

you keep writing down notes on that journal, he reads some of what you’ve written which are familiar to him.

“huh. still not faltering are you? i wonder when you might raise this matter.” he thought.

your posture is not as perfect as it had been when you greeted him earlier in the morning. the late night seems enough explanation for that. the inside of the car is quiet except for the engine of the car and the rustling of your pencil on paper.

ever since he started giving them to you he hadn’t heard a word of complaint. he’s not really sure what he expected. a bitch fit about how you can’t do it? a conversation about raising your salary? a rant about how he’s being unfair? he’s dubious about the result he was searching for but he should know. he is the marquis. everything must have a reason, had he expected all three so he might have a reason to fire you? maybe. but why would he fire you? you’ve proven yourself capable and competitive. there is almost no one to your like, only a fool would do that. why does he want to get rid of you for no reason?

perhaps it’s because of what you do for him. he knows you’re in it for the money but…but that unwavering loyalty you’ve offered up to him. does it mean more? or is it just something he’s paying for? an even exchange for the both of you. god, prostitutes seemed easier to handle than this, at least with them he knew their motives but with you…he can’t. you’re background is as pristine as water and everything you’ve done is to further his power. what had he done to deserve it? maybe it is true, maybe. there is no amount of money that can give that level of loyalty, even his highest paid employees and previous assistants weren’t even that good. oh, why? why,why,why,why-

why do you look at him as if he’s the rarest thing on earth? why do you follow him blindly with no hesitation? why do you listen to his words clinging to them as if it’s good as gospel?

he snaps out of his inner turmoil and notices that you’ve looked up at him. you’ve caught him staring, he’s slightly abashed because he’d been vulnerable with himself for a moment, and it’s because of you. for a minute he thought you might’ve been genuine to him, that everything you do is because you want to, not for any materialistic gain. he doesn’t show his disappointment. he keeps his face plain and cold and turns away from you, facing the window. he can see the glass pyramid from The Louvre, his mind begins to drift.

you gullible fool, there is no one in this world that can give you that. you know this-you know this. why do you still yearn for that? there are three kinds of people in the world. those who have something to live for, those who have something to die for, and those who have something to kill for and you are not one of them. no matter how much you want it you cannot be one of them. you are the marquis. you are the marquis. you must be untouchable. what you feel cannot be weaponized against you. do you understand? she does not feel anything for you. there is nothing but you and yourself. in the long run, she won’t matter. when you’ve grown more powerful than today what she’s given to you will be nothing but specks of dust.

that’s how he viewed you. after those two months, he treats you the same with no efforts that may seem arbitrary an attempt to veil what he’s felt for you. keeping it professional you might say, he screws it through his head, that he doesn’t matter to you, that it doesn’t mean more.

one day it changes.

almost two years after that car ride to The Louvre.

you take a bullet for him.

but you take much more than that.

author’s note: welp, that’s part three! i found it difficult to choose which pov for part two, idk if I should keep the marquis’ thoughts ambiguous or just throw this in. I had this dilemma in class and decided to go for reader’s pov, it turned out nice anyways feel free to share your thoughts!

taglist: @dcgoddess @1mawh0re @davvydobrik

part one part two part four part five

[hide-in-imagination]

Simón and Ámbar are two very contradicting people and that's why they work so well. I'll elaborate:

Starting with Ámbar, she's someone who seems a lot, but isn't actually that much. With that I mean she seems very happy and in control and determined and like nothing ever gets to her, but as we get to know her, we start seeing she's actually incredibly lonely, comically indecisive when it comes to the simplest things, and has no real idea of who she is and where she belongs beyond striving to be number one at everything (because it's the only way she learned she can be loved.)

Ámbar, due to her childhood trauma with her motherly figure, is very independent, assertive, perfectionist and controlling. With these qualities, people usually go after romantic partners that they can 'control'-- that are subdued, sweet, gentle-- all the things their mothers weren't with them. The problem with that is that then these women can never relax (which is what they truly want deep down) because they are the ones who end up doing all the problem-solving in the relationship, the ones who always take the lead. Therefore, they should actually go after someone with more masculine energy instead.

We could say Ámbar did this by dating Matteo, but the problem is that Matteo was also too independent, perfectionist, and detached from the relationship, so neither of them really developed a deep emotional connection. (Which, let's be honest, neither of them was seeking, so it worked great for them.)

Then we have Simón, who at first glance would fit the 'feminine energy guy' thing perfectly-- He's sweet, gentle, easy-going, he puts other people first, etc.

BUT, turns out, Simón is the very embodiment of "Get yourself a guy who can do both." Because man does this guy can do both.

Simón might be a pacifist at heart, but he will not hesitate to fight for those he cares about, and he will call you out if you mistreat him because he has a very strong definition of what's right and what's wrong, and he will not allow people to purposefully behave badly. He might tend to go with the flow of what other people wanna do, but he is brave enough and independent enough to leave his country and fly across the globe with nothing more than a suitcase and a guitar.

He also has the drive to go after his dreams even when they seem impossible, and he declared his feelings for Luna the moment he realized he had them even when it could endanger their friendship-- He did not stay passive. Even in Season 3 when he was the most passive (aka staring at Ámbar from afar 24/7 but doing nothing about it) this inaction was not due to lack of confidence or drive (after all, he had the confidence to ask her to dance from the very beginning)-- It was because he knew Ámbar was not in the same place as he was. Ámbar at the beginning of Season 3 was having fun playing with Simón, even tried to manipulate him with the feelings he harbored for her more than once-- She was not in an honest place of "I want us to be together." Even later, when she was getting into that mindset, Simón kept his distance but he was clear about what he wanted if she wished to be with him. He had the assertiveness to say "I'm crazy about you, but I'm not gonna play into this if you don't put in some effort."

So what do we have? Someone who is empathetic and kind and chill enough for Ámbar to get that security and love she didn't receive as a child, but also someone who's strong enough, determined enough, and driven enough to allow herself to relax every now and then and let him take the lead of things. Our girl hit the jackpot and I am jealous every day.

By the way, let me just mention, for someone who by all accounts should have an Avoidant Attachment Style, Ámbar sure as hell lets Simón in a lot. This might be because the script needed it, but I wanted to point it out because it's very curious to me. (If you don't know what Avoidant Attachment Style is, you can click here to read about it.) I mean, she went from a superficial relationship with Matteo to basically crying in front of Simón every day-- That's huge! Sure, you could argue that she couldn't help it since she was completely destroyed inside, but even then, I think it speaks very highly of him that Ámbar considered him a safe space to vent to during those tough times. We got another example of that in Season 3 when she was upset after her phone call with Sharon and then Simón walked into the lockers and she hugged him, seeking comfort. It's like she can't stop herself from wanting him to 'catch her', if you know what I mean;) But of course, she didn't want to admit she was that 'weak', so she completely shut him out the next day (the infamous maracuyá juice scene, ugh, don't even remind me, it hurt.)

Anyways, I realize I focused too much on Ámbar's side of things in the relationship instead of what both get out of it, but I already wrote in a post once what Simón gets out of it, so I'll let that speak for itself.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, I wrote this instead of writing Roads✌🏻

[jessoloslemons]

I found a song that just reminds me of john dory-

John Dory seems to be most stuck in the past out of all his brothers.

Ex: keeping memorabilia inside Rhonda, still having this perfectionist mindset (although it's slowly getting broken - when they rescued floyd singing better place)

C'mon man, C'MON!! when you have grown up with a set mindset, it's almost impossible to unlearn it and learn a new one. John being a perfectionist clearly is very toxic, and had led to the disbandment of Brozone, and has hurt his brothers the most, even if he didnt mean to. Clearly, this mindset of his needs to be changed, but it's what he has grown to have, it's probably all he knows. :(

Pride. Refusing to humble himself and listen. Too proud to admit he was at fault (at least in the scene where they disband. He says "this is what happens when YOU guys dont follow MY lead." Puts the blame on others. But it's too late to apologize now, so he gives in)

The past just catching up, years has passed, and yet all his regrets just keep on coming back. (20 years is a long time, and a LOT of time. Imagine the thoughts he must've had, especially when he probably believed all his brothers were dead)

Him feeling like nobody's gonna save him, because who'd want to save him? a troll who abandons his brothers for 20 years and has been horrible to them when they were still kids? A troll who fucked up as a brother so badly?

--

AAA i've been wanting to talk about this song for so long now 😭 i've wanted to make a short comic, or an animation short regarding this but..bro im no artist ;-; and so here i present it on tumblr HAHAHA

I love John Dory as a character, and would just really wanna see him fleshed out more! And since the 4th movie would probably take years (sobs), it's enough time for us fans to do the job

Thoughts? I'd love to hear them!! Check this song and artists! The best <3

[crabsnpersimmons]

hi what do you use to draw program/brush/ect wise? I really like your brushes you use

hi hi!

for my digital art i use HiPaint (it's basically a procreate clone for people who don't have apple products 😅) it's free to use and you can watch an ad to unlock premium features and brushes for 2hrs. another heads up on ads, sometimes when you open/return to a canvas it plays a short ad (like less than 5 seconds) and occasionally an ad bar will appear at the bottom of the canvas, but otherwise it's a pretty simple and clear UI. it does have a subscription plan to remove ads and get all the premium features, BUT the nice thing is it also has one-time purchases for select premium features as well. the number of layers depends on how big the canvas is. it has a lot of useful tools (gradient, clip mask, liquify, simple animation, etc etc.)

and the brush, i got from Kipzis Brush Shop: https://www.kipzi.ca/l/cmadd?layout=profile

[yenonnoff]

TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE!

｡ｏ♡ profiles: mentally sane + atsumu ig?

masterlist ⌒☆ HOT dummies + minor chars! ⌒☆ chapter 1

atsumu started acting when he was in high school. it was rough for him; he wasn't getting the roles he wanted and on more than one occasion he was left dry with little to no opportunities. but considering his perfectionist mindset and stubborn attitude, he continued acting while also juggling high school and his vbc activities.

while he saw acting as a challenge and a way to show his worth, he enjoys acting as much as volleyball. still, it was a surprise when he chose the former over the latter.

moving to current times, atsumu is now a famous actor who stars in numerous hit films! he prefers doing romance movies as he thinks he shines better there than any other genre.

when atsumu was acting in one of his more minor roles, he met sakusa who was also working on the same film. they bonded over their dislike for one specific person (who, for atsumu, was too arrogant and annoying for his taste. while sakusa thought the person overstepped their boundaries too many times for his liking).

fun facts:

atsumu was the one that made the gc and originally named it "atsumu's crazy fanboys." but osamu took atsumu's phone while he wasn't looking one day and changed it. (everyone was grateful to osamu because they thought the previous name was horrendous). atsumu is too lazy to change it back.

osamu, once a day, has AT LEAST one customer asking about his twin brother. he hates atsumu's fans, but secretly enjoys the publicity his restaurant is getting because of him.

suna plays multiple instruments. his friends (mainly the twins) ask him for a free concert every time they hang out.

the first song that suna released instantly became popular.

TEACH ME HOW TO LOVE! ｡ｏ♡ an atsumu miya smau

synopsis: when y/n l/n, a rising actress, decides to star in a romance film that could make or break her career, she’s unable to showcase her skills, revealing her inexperience within the romance department instead. worst of all, atsumu miya, her co-star and the main lead’s love interest, seems to hate her guts! with absolutely, unbearably zero chemistry between the two, an idea was proposed: spend time with one another in the upcoming weeks. will y/n be able to ignore her professionalism and listen to her heart? and will she, a clueless romantic, be able to pick up on the signs her co-star is sending her?

a/n: this was so much fun. i need a nap

taglist is open! dm or ask to be a part of it! (those bolded were unable to be tagged)

⌒☆ @kqbukimono @empathum @clyver @chosoluv @moonplethxra @sunarots @marga-j @rukia-uchiha-98 @wyrcan @thechaosoflonging @rintarousgirl

[nnuanana]

Saturn as DK (man I feel like a woman)

Saturn as Darakaraka (DK) in a birth chart can signify the challenges in a relationship, it can also point to the longevity of certain relationships in your life, especially with people who display Saturnian traits.

What does it say about you? Well, it says you already have all that Saturn stuff under your belt.. well, not quite. There are certain lessons to be learnt with Saturn and these CAN or WILL feel heavy and even like a burden to some. (for me defo)

There is also a pointer to karmic lessons and karmic relationships.. we do not have it easy huh?

Yes, this is literally the EMBODYMENT of "started from the bottom now we're here" relationship-wise, be it romantic or platonic.

At the end of a major lesson here, you'll ask yourself what is pain? I don't know her. (and you won't be dead inside I promise)

You are destined to master that, you need and you will master the heaviest shi. That in the end will make you THE MOST DESIRABLE PARTNER THERE IS.

So that when someone else has the same DK you will respond correctly, like a badass you are

Now to the not-so-usual traits (it applies to both the future spouse and also to you my dear)

1. Responsibility and Reliability

A partner with Saturn in DK may be the one who always pays the bills on time and manages finances responsibly. They often take on the role of the planner in the relationship, ensuring that everything is organized and running smoothly. For instance, if you're planning a vacation, this partner will likely take charge of the logistics and ensure everything is in order. However, they also expect some level of reciprocal actions, even the slightest display of responsibility and/or reliability does well ;)

2. Maturity and Wisdom

Such partners tend to approach challenges with a level-headed mindset. A person with Saturn as DK might be seen as the voice of reason during disputes, offering practical solutions rather than getting caught up in emotional turmoil. For instance, during a tough time, they might suggest practical steps to improve the situation rather than just providing emotional support. Here the dynamic will be already feeling the thing but what comes out is practical advice or solution based on these feelings, rather than just emotional consolation. But, it's also a person that won't let you be dramatic for even 5 minutes with their ready-to-serve solution to your problem, they are just too logical and their solutions are end game lol

5. Challenges and Resilience

Saturn's influence often brings lessons through challenges. A partner might have overcome significant obstacles in their life, such as financial struggles or family issues, making them resilient and appreciative of stability. For instance, they might have started from humble beginnings and worked hard to achieve success, which inspires their partner.

6. Discipline and Self-Control:

A partner influenced by Saturn tends to exhibit self-discipline and self-control. This quality can manifest in various ways, from managing finances responsibly to maintaining healthy habits. Their disciplined nature can motivate their partner to adopt similar practices.

7. Communication Style

Partners with Saturn in DK may communicate in a straightforward and pragmatic manner. They may value honesty and dislike superficial conversations. For example, during discussions about the relationship's future, they may prefer to address serious topics head-on rather than avoid them. They are good with smelling lies but they are also good with telling lies. It's not too good not too bad. 50/50

Conclusion

Saturn as Darakaraka often points to a partner who embodies responsibility, wisdom, and a practical approach to life. These qualities can foster a stable and meaningful relationship, although it's important to balance the challenges that may come from perfectionist tendencies or emotional reserve. But this one depends on the sign it's in. E.g. Saturn is dry on it's own but a Pisces waters it down so it's not as emotionless etc.

Saturn in DK indicates older spouse more often than not however trust your gut on it.

You can make anything work. Without work here baby there is no relationship. That's what Saturn is about. And, the age thing is not always! It's really your preference. Your gut will tell you, your heart and intuition if it's this person. With or without Saturn placements, give yourself the freedom to decide on what's best for you. And what works for you. Then REFINE IT even.

Another controversial take is what if that "spouse" is actually you in a relationship? I did notice myself behaving like a Saturn person with a Saturn dk person 👵🏼

was it a projection? mirroring? who knows? even tho I wasn't supposed to as I'm not that Saturnian at all! and yes, I was the younger in the relationship 👶🏼

another one, I did notice myself acting like a person with moon traits (being like a baby but in a good sense and emotional fr) when I was dealing with a moon dk person.. and I was the older one! so yes, that's interesting 😬

both of these relationships were 4 and 2 years strong. 🤫

Ultimately all my Satun DK placement ppl should not worry about a thingggg and instead focus on bettering themselves in all the areas above.

[sakarrie-creates]

It’s that time of year! Here’s my 2023 art summary! After two years of having to include non-colored pieces, I finally did enough ‘full’ pieces to fill my art summary template! I did have to get a bit creative with the months since I was able to draw a LOT more during the summer, but I’ll take it! Sorry it's a bit blurry. I'm not sure if that's just for the preview or not, but it was a smaller file than normal and since these reflections are 99% for my own interest, I decided it wasn't worth trying to change.

As usual, I got rambly so reflection questions are answered under the cut. The template I used is available here in case anyone else wants to make their own! My fic summary will be coming in a week or so, so stay tuned for the stats and round-up there. :)

What events did you participate in (with art)? Player Appreciation Week, Fandom Trumps Hate, Dear Fellow Traveler (Animatic), Weird People (Editing), SPN Comfortably Queer Zine (dropped), and lots of zine applications for page artist, merch artist, comic artist, and spot artist roles!

What was your biggest challenge this year? While time, like last year, was still a challenge, I think my biggest challenge was a mix of low motivation and an intense perfectionistic mindset. At the start of the year, I got super into TOH and was super hyped about all the zines with apps opening. I really REALLY wanted to get into them and figured I should apply for art too just cause it would increase my overall chances of getting in. After the finale, I did a screenshot redraw that ended up being absolutely fantastic for where my skill level is. I went deeper into rendering than ever before, and somehow it worked for me. 

That probably was the start of my unreasonably high expectations, and I got it into my head that maybe if I could make a whole portfolio of artwork at that quality level, I actually stood a chance at getting into a zine as an artist. From then on, I was hardcore crash-coursing perspective, rendering techniques, and generally trying to improve without allowing room for mistakes. While I do think it helped me grow a lot, it burnt me out so I struggled to work on stuff past summary (when all the zine apps were) and even dropped from the SPN Comfortably Queer Zine cause my imposter syndrome was so strong. (Though that was also partially because it was a ‘sign-up and you’re in’ zine, so they never saw my art during the application process and had no way of knowing if I was good enough.

What was something you were surprised by? I’m pretty sure I discovered the perspective tool is CSP this year! CSP has so many tools I’m not aware of (despite watching tons of tutorials and guides), so it wasn’t super surprising but it was nice. I have to say, they’re a serious hassle to work with and require a higher understanding of vanishing points and such than I currently have, but I could see it being very useful for future scene art pieces.

Did you try anything new this year?

Yes! This year I kicked down the door to the merch world and have been collecting and designing throughout the year. Though the designs have mostly just been for zine app portfolio’s, everything has worked out really well for me and I hope to produce charms for my collection as I improve my skills. Where do you think you most improved? Definitely my confidence in rendering! And probably my rendering itself too. I did a ton more pieces with it this year and it’s definitely a favorite part of the art process for me. I think I’ll have a lot more fun with it this year too, since I’m trying to keep it lower pressure, so I can experiment more to find out what brushes and styles I like most. What are you most proud of? I think I’m most proud of how ambitious I was with my zine apps. Though I didn’t get into any for art and it burned me out a fair bit, I did a lot of hard work and made pieces I can be mostly happy with. As for specific pieces, I’m very proud of my animatic clip for the Dear Fellow Traveler MAP (which is what the Belos art from the summary is from). My portion was about 5 seconds with 24 fully colored and shaded frames. A few of those were moving frames too, so the end result is the closest thing to actual animation I’ve done. I also really like the rendering on the Huntlow Epilogue art and generally how the Steve&Matt hug turned out.

How’d this year compare to your 2023 goals? I honestly couldn’t remember what my goals were, but all things considered, I didn’t do too bad! Thankfully past-Sakarrie was wise and made it a bullet list so I can just check things off. Met: -Player Appreciation Week -Add to zine portfolio -Apply to at least one zine as an artist (fine if don’t get accepted) -Keep experimenting with backgrounds and shading -Pull out some old WIPs -Build more consistency of style

The checked off ones I definitely met, so good for me! This was a very zine-focused year, so I way exceeded those goals. The last two I did do, but they’re a bit subjective. Specifically, I think the ‘WIPs’ I was referring to were old sketches, but most of the old WIPs I revisited were already colored and I was either adding rendered or cleaning them up for zine usage. As for style, I’m REALLY bad at telling haha. That said, my characters seem reasonably similar when I draw them, so I’m going to tentatively count it. Kinda: -One fully colored piece per month

I’m gonna give myself a half check on this one. I didn’t have a fully colored piece every month, but I did have over 12 fully rendered pieces in the end, several of which had backgrounds. So while I didn’t meet the letter of the goal, I feel like I met the spirit of it.

Did Not Meet: -Finish Huntlow comic -30 minutes animatic digitalize rough draft -Maybe make some fanart of my favorite fics

These don’t shock me. They’re all personal projects and this was a very external-goal-driven year for me. The Huntlow comic is a big love of mine but it’s definitely ambitious for where my skill is. I’ve got the whole thing messy-sketched and most of it has been clean sketched, but the jump from that to lineart is gonna be hard, and I have no idea what I’d be doing with color since the panels don’t have a background. That said, I do feel like it’s some solid work and I adore the angst vibe of it, so maybe I’ll get it done one day. I could also see myself posting it as a messy lineart comic so that others could enjoy the concept being executed in case it never gets finished.

As for the 30 Minutes animatic, I still 100% intend to complete it eventually. I love the way it fits to the music and I’m so proud of the thumbnails. Even if it never becomes a full animatic, I want to digitize the frames and line it up with music so I can share the concept I see in my mind with others. My brain was somewhat overtaken suddenly by TOH this year, so now that that’s settled and I’m hoping to follow my muse more this year, maybe this will be something I can get excited about again.

The fanart for favorite fics is no surprise since it’s kinda the tack on. With low motivation and projects with deadlines that needed my focus, personal art like this was buried way below other priorities. It’s a nice though for sure though.

Alrighty then, now it’s time for 2024 goals!! Oh goodness, I really don’t know what to expect of myself. I definitely am going to try to allow for more personal projects with lower pressure, but I do still have some goals. Hopefully most can be accomplished without applying big pressure though.

2024 Goals:

-Number One Priority: Create for my and don’t put myself in a place to get crazy burnt out and still have requirements. If I meet this goal, then it’s okay if I don’t meet any of the others. (It would be sad.... But I would still count it as meeting overall goals.) -Participate in Summergen and PAW Week (Art or Fic) -Design Handplates charm as anniversary gift (November) -Design CS Charm -Have a fully usable Zine Portfolio (Currently need more merch samples and rendered pieces with backgrounds) -Apply to new TOH Zines or other loved fandom zines. If I end up getting into any, I can pull back, but since that doesn’t seem likely, I want to get into the habit of always being ready to apply with what I have. -Make an ongoing project list to pin to my tumblr. This applies mostly for fics, but that way people coming to my page can see what fandoms I’m actively creating for and what they can look forward to (as well as have an opening to ask questions if they’re interested). -Post more (at least 10 times throughout the year) and add my best pieces to instagram (8+ pieces by end of year). -Do ONE of the following:     1. 30 minutes digitized so it can be shared with music      2. Open Up Your Eyes fully thumbnail      3. Fanworks for other people’s fics      4. Participate in an extra bang or exchange with art      5. Design and manufacture a pin -Play with different brushes and rendering styles -Draw something from scratch every month, no matter how small -Not exactly art, but I want to have a finalized long-term merch display plan for all my items Overall, how’d the year go? I think I did well! I didn’t meet all my goals and I pushed myself too far, but I learned and improved a LOT this year. All things considered, I made pieces that last year me would be blown away by, so I think that’s an automatic win. I’m pretty uncertain on how this next year will go (even more so than last year, which is surprising since I was changing schools last year), but I’m hoping to enjoy what I do and create art semi-regularly. Here’s to 2024!