#that ff was the reason the english language was created

[vieviehime]

i just read the best ff of my life. i'd like to thank the academy, my parents, my fully functional eyes and gege akutami for writing jjk.

[superultrapop]

Damn, people really like to complain, uhn?

I've been on tumblr - as ohthati - since 2009 as well, coincidentally. Lets talk.

Saying a whole statement is corporate-speak bullshit is not only unpolite, but also unreasonable. Well, this is a corporation. Not your best friend. They can't just tell you "hey shit head, we trying to run a company here". They have to sound profissional. Good thing you don't, ain't it?

There has been research about the users and their habits lately, more than it ever had. If you missed, you're not using the site very much. I answered. Did you?

Things that seem simple and easily interactive for you on the site happen to be this way because you are here since 2009. The old way will always look easier. That's why older people have trouble interacting with new media. Don't worry. I also raise my hands and grumble "those damn kids" everytime I see a Tiktok edit 😒

"That 'small portion' of your userbase is your core userbase"

SAYS WHO? Where do your numbers come from? Where is your data? Do you have access to Tumblr user numbers? Or are you creating information out of thin air? FFS. Talk about spreading misinformation.

"Countless site have tried before" oh my god. Oh my god. Such a villain speak. My dude. They are adapting some functionalities they are not creating the Frankestein monster. Countless sites have tried to adapt to the new information flow and flourished, without losing their identity. Name me one site that has remained the SAME over the years. Damn.

You claim your "tags you might want to follow" are unnacurate. Well! That's what they are trying to fix, dumbass! They are trying to make it easier for you, that is oh so special, to find content! It doesn't mean this will turn into algorithm hell hole!

"Your users are not idiots", well, we can agree on that. I just think some might enjoy shitting all over the godamn plataform they use for over ten years more than others.

You claim you don't think tumblr is stale. Well, we used to have - back in the day, remember? - big events where we could learn what was happening as it was happening. Same as Twitter. In a way, we lost that - somewhere around the same time we lost Superwholock. I wonder if that was the price. But anyway, fashion, movies, tv show, MVs: I used to be kept up to date by tumblr. Now I have to open other platforms- such as Instagram and Twitter - to learn news about my interests. I wish I didnt. I hate the negative emotions both those platforms bring. I like being here. I wanna stick to being here.

If you can be kept up to date on news about your interest on tumblr... I just wonder what are those subjects.

Tumblr has a lot of things it could be better at - it should be better at. We shouldn't let our nostalgic and self centered visions react to change, otherwise we will be stuck in a vicious cycle of complaining when things don't work, and complaining when things are fixed.

"I will never be your creator", they claim, with a passive aggressive tone. Well, honey: you just wrote a whole lot for someone who is not interested in create. Creation and creativity is not limited to the uses of influencers on TikTok. They are what bring us together. Without creativity AND creators there is not a single reason to log on tumblr. You are either consuming or creating, even if its just discourse for the sake of discourse. Or, as we used to call it back in the day, good old wank.

*sorry for my bad English, it's not my first or second language

*this rant is aimed at Tumblr user @thatlittleegyptilogist, that I just can't tag. Hope you see it, honey.

Tumblr’s Core Product Strategy

Here at Tumblr, we’ve been working hard on reorganizing how we work in a bid to gain more users. A larger user base means a more sustainable company, and means we get to stick around and do this thing with you all a bit longer. What follows is the strategy we're using to accomplish the goal of user growth. The @labs group has published a bit already, but this is bigger. We’re publishing it publicly for the first time, in an effort to work more transparently with all of you in the Tumblr community. This strategy provides guidance amid limited resources, allowing our teams to focus on specific key areas to ensure Tumblr’s future.

The Diagnosis

In order for Tumblr to grow, we need to fix the core experience that makes Tumblr a useful place for users. The underlying problem is that Tumblr is not easy to use. Historically, we have expected users to curate their feeds and lean into curating their experience. But this expectation introduces friction to the user experience and only serves a small portion of our audience. 

Tumblr’s competitive advantage lies in its unique content and vibrant communities. As the forerunner of internet culture, Tumblr encompasses a wide range of interests, such as entertainment, art, gaming, fandom, fashion, and music. People come to Tumblr to immerse themselves in this culture, making it essential for us to ensure a seamless connection between people and content. 

To guarantee Tumblr’s continued success, we’ve got to prioritize fostering that seamless connection between people and content. This involves attracting and retaining new users and creators, nurturing their growth, and encouraging frequent engagement with the platform.

Our Guiding Principles

To enhance Tumblr’s usability, we must address these core guiding principles.

Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Retain and grow our creator base.

Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Improve the platform’s performance, stability, and quality.

Below is a deep dive into each of these principles.

Principle 1: Expand the ways new users can discover and sign up for Tumblr.

Tumblr has a “top of the funnel” issue in converting non-users into engaged logged-in users. We also have not invested in industry standard SEO practices to ensure a robust top of the funnel. The referral traffic that we do get from external sources is dispersed across different pages with inconsistent user experiences, which results in a missed opportunity to convert these users into regular Tumblr users. For example, users from search engines often land on pages within the blog network and blog view—where there isn’t much of a reason to sign up. 

We need to experiment with logged-out tumblr.com to ensure we are capturing the highest potential conversion rate for visitors into sign-ups and log-ins. We might want to explore showing the potential future user the full breadth of content that Tumblr has to offer on our logged-out pages. We want people to be able to easily understand the potential behind Tumblr without having to navigate multiple tabs and pages to figure it out. Our current logged-out explore page does very little to help users understand “what is Tumblr.” which is a missed opportunity to get people excited about joining the site.

Actions & Next Steps

Improving Tumblr’s search engine optimization (SEO) practices to be in line with industry standards.

Experiment with logged out tumblr.com to achieve the highest conversion rate for sign-ups and log-ins, explore ways for visitors to “get” Tumblr and entice them to sign up.

Principle 2: Provide high-quality content with every app launch.

We need to ensure the highest quality user experience by presenting fresh and relevant content tailored to the user’s diverse interests during each session. If the user has a bad content experience, the fault lies with the product.

The default position should always be that the user does not know how to navigate the application. Additionally, we need to ensure that when people search for content related to their interests, it is easily accessible without any confusing limitations or unexpected roadblocks in their journey.

Being a 15-year-old brand is tough because the brand carries the baggage of a person’s preconceived impressions of Tumblr. On average, a user only sees 25 posts per session, so the first 25 posts have to convey the value of Tumblr: it is a vibrant community with lots of untapped potential. We never want to leave the user believing that Tumblr is a place that is stale and not relevant. 

Actions & Next Steps

Deliver great content each time the app is opened.

Make it easier for users to understand where the vibrant communities on Tumblr are. 

Improve our algorithmic ranking capabilities across all feeds. 

Principle 3: Facilitate easier user participation in conversations.

Part of Tumblr’s charm lies in its capacity to showcase the evolution of conversations and the clever remarks found within reblog chains and replies. Engaging in these discussions should be enjoyable and effortless.

Unfortunately, the current way that conversations work on Tumblr across replies and reblogs is confusing for new users. The limitations around engaging with individual reblogs, replies only applying to the original post, and the inability to easily follow threaded conversations make it difficult for users to join the conversation.

Actions & Next Steps

Address the confusion within replies and reblogs.

Improve the conversational posting features around replies and reblogs. 

Allow engagements on individual replies and reblogs.

Make it easier for users to follow the various conversation paths within a reblog thread. 

Remove clutter in the conversation by collapsing reblog threads. 

Explore the feasibility of removing duplicate reblogs within a user’s Following feed. 

Principle 4: Retain and grow our creator base.

Creators are essential to the Tumblr community. However, we haven’t always had a consistent and coordinated effort around retaining, nurturing, and growing our creator base.  

Being a new creator on Tumblr can be intimidating, with a high likelihood of leaving or disappointment upon sharing creations without receiving engagement or feedback. We need to ensure that we have the expected creator tools and foster the rewarding feedback loops that keep creators around and enable them to thrive.

The lack of feedback stems from the outdated decision to only show content from followed blogs on the main dashboard feed (“Following”), perpetuating a cycle where popular blogs continue to gain more visibility at the expense of helping new creators. To address this, we need to prioritize supporting and nurturing the growth of new creators on the platform.

It is also imperative that creators, like everyone on Tumblr, feel safe and in control of their experience. Whether it be an ask from the community or engagement on a post, being successful on Tumblr should never feel like a punishing experience.

Actions & Next Steps

Get creators’ new content in front of people who are interested in it. 

Improve the feedback loop for creators, incentivizing them to continue posting.

Build mechanisms to protect creators from being spammed by notifications when they go viral.

Expand ways to co-create content, such as by adding the capability to embed Tumblr links in posts.

Principle 5: Create patterns that encourage users to keep returning to Tumblr.

Push notifications and emails are essential tools to increase user engagement, improve user retention, and facilitate content discovery. Our strategy of reaching out to you, the user, should be well-coordinated across product, commercial, and marketing teams.

Our messaging strategy needs to be personalized and adapt to a user’s shifting interests. Our messages should keep users in the know on the latest activity in their community, as well as keeping Tumblr top of mind as the place to go for witty takes and remixes of the latest shows and real-life events.  

Most importantly, our messages should be thoughtful and should never come across as spammy.  

Actions & Next Steps

Conduct an audit of our messaging strategy.

Address the issue of notifications getting too noisy; throttle, collapse or mute notifications where necessary.  

Identify opportunities for personalization within our email messages. 

Test what the right daily push notification limit is. 

Send emails when a user has push notifications switched off.

Principle 6: Performance, stability and quality.

The stability and performance of our mobile apps have declined. There is a large backlog of production issues, with more bugs created than resolved over the last 300 days. If this continues, roughly one new unresolved production issue will be created every two days. Apps and backend systems that work well and don't crash are the foundation of a great Tumblr experience. Improving performance, stability, and quality will help us achieve sustainable operations for Tumblr.

Improve performance and stability: deliver crash-free, responsive, and fast-loading apps on Android, iOS, and web.

Improve quality: deliver the highest quality Tumblr experience to our users. 

Move faster: provide APIs and services to unblock core product initiatives and launch new features coming out of Labs.

Conclusion

Our mission has always been to empower the world’s creators. We are wholly committed to ensuring Tumblr evolves in a way that supports our current users while improving areas that attract new creators, artists, and users. You deserve a digital home that works for you. You deserve the best tools and features to connect with your communities on a platform that prioritizes the easy discoverability of high-quality content. This is an invigorating time for Tumblr, and we couldn’t be more excited about our current strategy.

[sonyeou]

HEADCANON i.

language(s) and bilinguality.

at present, maya is able to speak 3 languages. she is fluent in korean ( as it is her mother tongue ), english ( also fluent as a result of schooling and a penchant for english shows and music ) and spanish. english is her most commonly used language and considered her time learning spanish to be almost entirely redundant before going on her travels.

however, since traveling, maya is grateful for the time taken in learning of new languages. because of this, she was inspired and motivated enough to learn her fourth, which is italian. so far, she only knows basic italian sentence structures as she wished to visit italy next on her list of countries.

[ohsalome]

And I am once again reminding you that for centuries, Ukraine wasn't given its own voice in the world discourse. Our history, politics, culture were written by the people who colonised us and benefited from convincing the world (and us!) of a distorted picture. A good majority of information in English language that exists about Ukraine, that you believe to be the default knowledge of the world, is such distorted information. Because that is how russian propaganda work. They take a snippet of truth and blow it out of proportion and add a bouquet of lies to it and repeat it many-many times until you think that it is just basic information about the world that everyone knows.

No, Ukraine is not run by nazi. Ukraine has a non-zero percent of nazi population that is marginalized out of politics because their rhetoric is not relatable to the majority of the electorate, which leans towards socialistic populism and anarchism.

No, ukraine is not "brotherly nation" with russia. Antropoligically we belong to the same slavic family of nations that includes many other eastern europeans like czechs, polish, moldovan etc. There is no reason to select russians, belorussians and ukrainians into a distinct category that isn't political. The idea of "three brotherly nations" was literally created by a theologist Theofan Prokopovych as a part of philosophical justification to russian imperialism in the 19th century meaning of the word.

No, DNR and LNR are not "people's republics". They were created by russian army, run by the russian army and following the orders from the kremlin. Russis spent decades trying to create a dissident movement in the eastern Ukraine but failed and stepped down to brute force. Everything you see in the southern Ukraine now has happened in the east in 2014. The only difference is that y'all swallowed russian lies back then.

No, Crimea didn't have a "referendum to join russia". Russian soldiers occupied the peninsula, forced the politicians under the gunpoint to announce the referendum, and made sure that the results would be the ones they like. The native population of the peninsula, crimean tatars, that had been twice genocided by the russians in the past, boycotted the referendum. Despite making up only ~12% of the population, crimean tatar rallies were much more numerous than those of the russians in Crimea. The people who "supported" the "return of Crimea" were russian nationals, who moved to the peninsula after the ethnic cleansing of the native population and proclaimed that "it has always been theirs".

No, Ukraine doesn't have a "government-run kill list". Myrotvorets is (1) run by the volunteers, not the government, (2) is a database of pro-russian propagandists, and (3) hardly anyone on that database has been killed so far. FFS, our current first lady used to be in this database.

No, Ukraine didn't ban russian language. Ukraine has implemented laws that would help ukrainian book, music, film industry survive the competition with russian industry that has for many years monopolised our market. Ukraine has implemented the law that our politicians need to know ukrainian language if they want to hold office (this will sound surreal, but many didn't. Can you imagine such scenario in any other country? A spanish minister that doesn't speak spanish?). Ukraine has implemented a law that websites, advertisements published in foreign languages need to have the information accessible in ukrainian as well Ukraine has implemented laws that state that ukrainian citizens have a right to governmental service in Ukrainian. And if you bothered to open the law you criticise at least ONCE, you would have seen that every article has a clarification "the communication can happen in any language as long as both parties consent, but if the consumer requests to be served in ukrainian, the provider is obligated to respond to them in ukrainian".

No, Ukraine doesn't use the war as an excuse to repress the political opposition. The only people that have been "repressed" are the ones who have been colluding with ruZzia and have helped in organising the invasion of Ukraine. FFS one of those "poor oppositioners" is literally putin's godfather, and another visits russian tv channels agitating russians to nuke Kyiv. The proof against them is overwhelming and well-documented, and ukrainian civil society has been pressuring our government to stop them for literal years. Even today, many russian agents remain in governmental structures.

No, Euromaidan was not a "coup". It was a response of civil society to the police brutality and usurpation of power. We do not need white saviours to tell us that being beat up at peaceful protests is bad. We have enough agency to understand this without external help.

It's almost a year of this war. It's high time for people to stop spreading russian propaganda, especially if they claim to support Ukraine. I am yet to see a "both sides are wrong" argument that wasn't based on russian propaganda.

[makkoskafanfic]

I really like how you write smut. I'm new to trying to write NC-17 stories but I'm trying! Can you share any ideas with a newby how to do sex scenes good?

This took me a few days to answer – and the reason for that is how this kept trying to turn into a bloody essay and I kept trying to cut it back to something sensible. I want to say I’m really happy with this ask, as I might be unsure about my plot, my ability to keep a story interesting, my grasp of the English language, but I do take pride in my smut.

Here are some advices in no particular order. Please keep in mind these are very subjective and reflect my own personal preferences when it comes to writing Explicit fiction.

Some non-worksafe ideas are ramblings are under the cut folks, don't like, don't click!

1. Start easy. Don’t write what you are not comfortable with. If you enjoy creating the scene, it will be smoother and better. This is not The Golden Rule, as you might want to challenge or push yourself or write on-purpose uncomfortable scenes, but if you are new to writing smut, starting with something easy and pleasant is a good idea.

2. Don’t make the mistake of sticking with a description of the physical act only. Written sex scenes are not a porn movie. There’s only so much you can say about who sticks what where and how long they move it around. Write what the characters are feeling. Is it good, is it bad? Do they experience pleasure, maybe discomfort or pain? What are their emotions? Are the comfortable, are they feeling safe? Compare it to their previous experiences. If they have non to compare it to, write about that.

3. Don’t give exact measurements. Before you say someone has a 13 inch dick, just think about how big that actually is. Don’t say something went on for 10 minutes, except if for some reason one of the characters are counting the time.

To combine point nr 2 & 3, a bad example would be: “Mike took out his 13 inch dick, lubed it up and thrust it into Jack’s hole. Jack moaned. Mike thrusted into him for 8 minutes after which Jack orgasmed.” This is very dry. You are not writing a script, you don’t want to simply describe the act, but make it enjoyable. You’d rather say Mike was larger than any men Jack took before, talk about how this makes him feel. Was the sex rough, was it gentle? Was it passionate? Did Jack love Mike or just had a fling with him? That’s all so much more interesting than inches and minutes!

4. Think it through – is it possible? Don’t forget the basic rules of anatomy and physics.

5. That being said, don’t be limited by reality, and I don’t only mean that for monster sex and the like. But you are writing fiction and not a guide. You want to ignore refractory periods? Go for it. Skipping lube? (or maybe replacing it with something handy as a lubrication spell?) Sure thing. I don’t remember ever reading someone giving themselves an enema before anal sex in a FF and I can’t say I mind this.

6. Speaking about lubrication spells. Respect the rules of your fandom (or the rules of your own universe). Magic of some kind will make things easier, but if you are writing an otherwise realistic story, you probably don’t want a too far fetched sex scene in there.

7. Respect your characters too. If you are writing someone who’s very reserved, you will want to write a process how they open up (or not) during sex. People don’t miraculously become a different personality just because they took their clothes off. I saw tags so many times saying characters are OOC but it doesn’t matter as it’s all porn. That’s a bad approach. If I look up Mike/Jack fics, I want to read about Mike and Jack having sex and not about two men who wears their name and looks but act nothing like them.

8. Writing goals. If you are writing a PWP you likely don’t want to overcomplicate this, you just want your characters to get on with it. Writing goal in this case can simply be making a pose/kink/scenario come true. If the sex scene is part of the story, try to tie it in. Instead of having a random sex scene somewhere (typically at the end) have it fit in with the plot, with character development. If you are writing about a relationship, and go for multiply sex scenes, have a curve.

9. Build it up, especially if you write a longer winded slow burn. Learning Mike has the hots for Jack 50K words in the story is kind of random. Light that spark and blow it to a fire as you go on.

10. Last but not least: don’t be embarrassed. Fiction is fiction – nobody should judge you for what you write. If you wrote something that doesn’t fit your usual writer profile, you still have the option to post it to Ao3 as Anonymous. I have one or two floating there as Anon too 😉

[saphirlefanz]

Overview & Links

📖Saphirlefanz on AO3 

📚Saphirlefanz on Wattpad

Chains of Fate – AU – AO3 | Wattpad; Chapter 7 - work in process - 10% done

You Have Fought Well – Kix FF – AO3 | Tumblr  

We Will Remember – GER; OC FF – Wattpad

🖌My Art on Tumblr 

🔠I grew up being trilingual and while I do consider English to be my first language together with German now, there are points where you will find me struggling with grammar. If you do, please be considerate of this fact, point it out to me, and don’t judge me too hard lol.

👩🏻‍🎨Any art that I create/post here is purely for entertainment purposes. I’m not trying to take a particular stance through them (if I do, I will be very clear about it), but you are welcome to interpret them in any ways you like. 

✔️If any of my written work inspires you to write something of your own, you are welcome to do so, as long as it’s not too similar (aka. same plot parts, same concepts). If you get inspired by my art, go ahead and create what you want. 

☑️You may use any of my OCs for writing & art purposes, provided that they are represented in-character and that they don’t become an essential part of the plot if it’s written work.

✅Feel free to let me know when you do create something inspired by my stuff. I will definitely check it out and be a happy bean for the rest of the day. 

⚠️If you find any repost of my work on sites other than the ones that I have linked above, please let me know, as it has likely been posted without my consent and knowledge.

🚫Please don’t repost my stuff without my explicit consent. You’re welcome to use any of my art as profile/background pictures (if you want for whatever reason), but please give credit.

⛔️I don’t enjoy romantic master/padawan ships, so please refrain from addressing such ships when interacting with me. Open to any other ships though :)

[astoriaxx]

Random "niggling" thoughts

There are so many Harry x Hermione prompts here on tumblr that most of them have potential in becoming an amazing fic. Ngl, i've read tons of them, even those one shots.

Sighhh, and don't make me start with a lot of abandoned fics :(((

I've realized that I ship hermione to alot of men. Is it just me?

Im worried abt my wip fic on ffnet and i honestly don't know what to do with it now. I feel the... what do they call it?? Writer's block or was it something abt void where no inspiration or motivation perks you up to going back at it. smh, didnt explain that well didnt i?

Ive been reading a lot of dramione and harmione fics.. which is as always, a lovely past time..

I'm turning 21 this year... holy fck

I guess the reason why i feel stagnant recently with my works (ff, video editing) is bcs im insecure with how i create them.... FF: grammar, sentence structure, deep conversations, good character creation, descriptive war scenes that are hell'ova hard to describe huhu.. VE: flop

How to become an adequate writer if english isn't your first language??? Hmpf. I basically know very few words that are considered "deep"

Oh! my bday is on May 1st.

I'm interested in sewing diy dresses. And im unsure if my parents will support this possible new hobby of mine.. (nope i dont have a single clue abt sewing machines)

Is there an existing dramione discord?

I love dramione and harmione ship... drarry is my secret.. ehe

Hence, dramionarry.

I can't choose between these three ships, so i combined them all. :P

I HAVEN'T GIVEN UP ON MY HARMIONE FIC YET, SO IF ANYONE OF YOU ARE WILLING TO BETA MY WORK PLEASEEE HELP ME :((( I want to know what i shld work on and if im doing it correctly. Lol.

I have a prompt in mind.... hmmm... and its all abt dramione and a baby harry—time travel fic perhaps?? They rescue little potter from the past then... imma write it later instead...

Wow, this is embarrassing i basically encoded all of my thoughts here.. lol

[nari20]

Hello :)

First of all thank you so much for sharing your wonderful, breathtaking Sailor Moon art with this fandom. I’m a huge fan of every little piece you create.

Some time ago you posted a lovely explanation of the Japanese word ‘Aishiteru’ and I was wondering if you could give me a hint where I could find it.

The background is that I just read a FF on the German SM ff side and realized that the whole scene at the airport could have been misunderstood because of the very poor translation of what Mamoru is telling Usagi after he gave her the ring (normally the translation was pretty good but perhaps the reason why it terribly failed this time was due to the fact that in German there is no appropriate wording for Aishiteru and I wanted to explain what is really going on in this particular scene).

Thank you so much in advance for your help and Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! I'm glad to hear that you like my stuff!

I looked for that post on "Aishiteru" but couldn't find it, so I'll try to remember what I wrote before! May not be the exact same thing with what I had before but here goes:

When you want to tell someone that you love them in Japanese, you can use both "愛してるaishiteru" and "好きsuki". "Aishiteru" is literally "I love you" and "suki" is "I like you". Now, "suki" is the more commonly used between the two, for example: when you confess your feelings to someone, when telling your bf/gf that you love them, or just talking about a love interest in general - you would say "suki-na-hito(person)", not "aishiteru-hito". So "Suki" is the more commonly used form of "love" and "I love you". Now when it comes to "Aishiteru"... you barely hear it in real life. You would hear it used affectionately among friends etc, but not so often between couples. I've never heard any couple, whether that's my parents, grandparents, friends, tell each other "aishiteru" in my life. It's just one of those words that are not used lightly (I always thought it might be similar to "I love you"s in English and "Je t'aime"s in French from what I've learned from international couples). When I think of the word "Aishiteru", the number one thing that comes to mind is wedding vows. I can't think of any other instances that "Aishiteru"s are used in real life, it's just that rare. Also the Japanese language likes to put things in a not straight forward way, like there was this famous author in the 19C who translated "I love you" to "tsuki ga kirei desune(The moon is very pretty today)" because apparently he thought "愛Ai" was too strong a word.

So yeah, when we hear Mamoru tell Usagi "Aishiteru" in that airport scene, you know he means a lot more than "Kay I'm off, I love you!" just with the use of the word "Aishiteru". He deliberately uses it, because it was a very important moment for him, he was going to propose to Usagi.

There! I hope I was able to recreate that post you were looking for!

[ailec-12]

Today, September and Calendar

Thanks!

Today: Have you made any progress in any wips today?

Uhh, no. Remember what I said about writing earlier this week? Well, I've done a million things, but unfortunately writing hasn't been one of them.

September: Share a comment or review which still warms your heart?

Oh, Anon, I can't share only one. I've been rereading comments this past month and several come to mind right now. These all warm my heart no matter how old they are or how many times I've read them already.

randomdork11 on House Potter:

You’re back!!!! I’ve missed you and this story more than I realized. Little Sev dealing with sick Harry and exhausted parents is so heartbreaking and sweet that I can’t handle it! Plus, I can totally relate to the exhausted parent bit XD. That whole family is just far too adorable. A certain bean who is far less evil than she proclaims to be, told me you were about to post again, so I’ll admit that I’ve been checking my updates like a crazy person.

Self-doubt is easily the worst part of writing. However, if I can offer you any encouragement, it’s that you have no reason to doubt yourself. Sometimes stories seem so big and daunting and we aren’t sure if what we are writing even makes sense or is relatable or true to character. Everyone goes through it and - as I’m sure many have already said - in your case, you’ve nothing to worry about. This story is beautiful and charming and captures the characters so very well. You’re doing a marvelous job of creating well rounded characters who all have faults and positive traits. You’re writing it in a way that none of the characters seems too good or too bad, just simply human. It’s utter perfection and you should be extremely proud of this work!!

Happy writing Ailec! And if you end up in doubt, just remember that your readers all agree that you are wonderful and we are here for you!!

@allstoriesrtrue24601 on the last OFaH chapter on AO3:

What a beautiful ending to an unbelievably impressive series! Having read the original series on fanfic.net repeatedly habitually since their original completion, it’s brought me so much joy to have weekly reminders of how much I love this story; and now with a gorgeous new epilogue!!

I’ve said it before but the one thing that really gets me about your writing is the characterisation - it drives the stories in a way I feel is really missing from most pieces of published works and tv shows. The bonds you build between characters and the whole dynamic really comes through throughout each installment - making the character development extremely natural and impactful. I’ve waxed lyrical previously about your writing style but I reiterate that it’s utterly and irrevocably beautiful, especially when considering English is not your first language. The pacing, plot and actual progression of the pieces are so well thought-out and really prompts excellently-executed dialogue and exposes opportunities to get to the hearts of the characters. It is suffice to say I have THOROUGHLY enjoyed your work in every one of its forms.

On a side note, I feel massively honoured to be mentioned in author’s notes (I have to say I’m slightly star-struck) and I’m more than happy for any future English queries. Have a wonderful day x

Kuroui, also on OFaH, but the first version on FF:

I realize I never actually left a review on here but here it goes.

This is definitely one of my all time favourite fics to ever exist period. Not just within the OUAT fandom. I was ecstatic with the introduction of Zelena, as it opened potential for Regina to have someone blood related still alive for her to interact with. At the end of Season 3 when Zelena was given that second chance, I was excited to see a possible turn around for her character. Up until that point, everything she had done was to give herself a better life, one with her blood mother, in hopes that she may be loved. She was not unlike Regina's initial persona and I could see how they could connect over it.

Season 4 dashed those hopes, and the progressing seasons left me with a bitter taste in my mouth. In the end, I am glad at least that at the end of Season 6 they had become something like sisters, and for that I am glad. I am also happy to see Zelena returning to play some time in Season 7. I dont know what it is but Zelena is my favourite OUAT character, and I love Rebecca Mader who plays her. For that reason I always seek out Zelena fics in hopes of finding good ones as she is not one of the most popular characters, in terms of fic writing at least.

This fic was both amazingly written and brought to light my hope of them reconciling as sisters. I like that it was not an immediate turn around from "villian" to "good", but a gradual process that involved interactions with multiple people and learning from mistakes. It made her a very real and relatable person. Everyone has flaws and makes mistakes and going from a life where her only goal was to hurt Regina, to living with her and attempting to be "good" was a large turn around that no doubt shook her to her core. You displayed that in your series very well, showing the ups and downs in her journey as well as the reflective reactions from those around her.

Henry's role in this was very heartwarming and he really is a miracle. The Greatest Believer. I do not think that Zelena would have come as far as she had without him. Though Regina does her best, it is always nice to have someone else there, not to mention someone who looked at Zelena without any negative feelings. Having multiple people care and believe in her no doubt gave her greater motivation to change and be a better person. Not to downplay Regina's role in this of course. Regina very much has been the core to this family, to Zelena's change.

At the end, Zelena desired to be wanted, to be enough, and she was going to look for that in Cora. Regina knew though, that it wasn't Zelena's fault for that, Cora only wanted power. Which you had her explain. And I think that having Regina turn into that person that Zelena wanted to be enough for, to be loved by, was a big change even if she didn't realize it. The initial hostility, anger and sadness moved away from being targeted AT Regina, to more herself and referenced in terms of Regina instead.

At that point, I think that Zelena's family slowly began to form in her own subconscious which eventually or hopefully would expand onto friends like Robin and Tinkerbell and perhaps even the Charming family, they do get along well enough of course. And if Charming's reaction to her run in with Sidney was any indication, I'm sure they would welcome her with open arms at this point.

Overall I suppose I can summarize it into this.

Thank you for writing this story/series. It holds a very very special place in my heart and I come back every once in a while to read through it. It warms my heart every single time no matter how many times I've read it. I love it with every inch of my OUAT loving soul and I am so glad that such an extensive well-written piece on Zelena exists.

Long comments aren't the only ones that have my eternal love and gratitude, though. Here's a couple of recent ones that are making this writing hiatus much more bearable:

Ninafia on the latest instalment of Hotchpotch:

I loved this! You're really good at writing emotions.

It's like I'm in their head, if that makes sense. Thanks for the chapter!

Lilia on House Potter:

This is such a remarkable story—so subtle and heartbreaking. Use of child Sev’s POV is a true narrative tour de force. Wish I could give it 100 kudos.

I'm lucky to have received a lot of nice comments over the years and you can be sure that, if your comment made me happy the first time I read it, I've come back to it more than once.

Calendar: Do you have a schedule for posting?

Not right now —I only keep a posting schedule when there are a few chapters already written at the very least.

Fanfic questions :)

[threeletterslife]

chana, what are some of your pet peeves while reading a story? like things such as bad grammar. btw i love your works!!

god i love this question so much. and thank you for reading! 🥺🥺🥺i really appreciate the love!

i’m seriously going to sound like a grumpy ol’ bitch saying this but i have a LOT of pet peeves lol. i have such specific, meticulous taste that it’s hard for me to find stories (internet fics and irl books alike) that pertain to my weirdass standards 😀

quick disclaimer! just because i don’t like some of these popular/infamous/adored tropes doesn’t mean they’re not bad at all! remember, i’m just rEALLy picky! here goes:

fake dating. (i hate it. i can’t stand it when a story’s main idea is fake dating. i just can’t seem to understand why anyone would want to fake date. the scenarios always seem so bs-ed or middle school-esque to me. but someone is always welcome to prove me wrong.)

bad grammar. (this one speaks for itself. i can’t stand bad grammar. this doesn’t mean i’ll jump on you if you make oNE little mistake <because, i mean, we’re all human, you know>. but if the grammar mistakes are consistent... and far too many... i will be pissed 😀😀😀) honorary mention common mistakes: every day vs everyday; your vs you’re; .” vs ”. ; affect vs effect; anymore vs any more; their vs they’re vs there; lay vs lie; except vs accept; then vs than; -- vs —

bland/generic y/n. (i love writing in 2nd pov. but just because this ‘y/n’ character doesn’t technically have a name... doesn’t mean... she isn’t allowed to have a personality. a bland or mary sue-type y/n with zero dimension can single-handedly deter me from reading the rest of the story. remember, y/n deserves a personality too 😭😭)

starting the story with “I woke up in my bed after hearing my eomma call my name from downstairs.” (this is just a very specific pet peeve of mine that triggers my fight or flight. i’m blaming this on wattpad.)

using honorifics and romanized korean. (this is going to be very controversial. but... i think it kinda has to be said. i do not want to read an english story that is very obviously not set in korea and have to go through words like “eomma” “oppa” “jagi” “saranghae” “hyung” “jimin-ah” “taehyung-ie” “unnie” “noona” and sometimes a whole SENTENCE in romanized korean. as someone who is korean, i find it—for the lack of a better word—cringy. because of some of the stories i’ve seen, i can’t even speak my own language sometimes without cringing. you could NEVER catch me calling my older cousins “oppa” anymore even though i’m supposed to out of literal respect and culture. and it’s thanks to the fact that some (thankfully, a minority of) fanfiction authors romanticize/sexualize it. don’t even get me started on my younger cousins/siblings calling me “noona.” i wanna d-word every time i hear it because it’s been so sexualized in the ff community that i just don’t feel comfortable with them calling me that for platonic/respectful reasons. but i digress. if i can tell the author has done research and it is written well and correctly and in a non-sexualized manner, then i don’t have a problem with it. still wouldn’t read though 😭😭)

idol au’s. (also controversial. but this is mainly my fault LMAO. once upon a time, long ago, little chana first stumbled upon bangtan and decided she wanted to venture into the fanfiction world for them. her first fanfiction was a jungkook idol au. and now she will probably never write another idol au again because she is scarred. but seriously. idol au’s make me want to cry inside because 1. they’re unrealistic 2. the writers usually do little to no research on korea/the music industry 3. personal (humiliating) history 😔which again, is totally on me. i feel like this pet peeve of mine is unjustifiable tho lmao. a lot of people adore idol au’s. but i just can’t get into them)

adding photos in the middle of the story. (this just boils my blood for no reason i’m sorry 😭😭to me, it seems unprofessional. BOOKS may have illustrations. but only if the illustrations are showing a SCENE that the writing describes. not necessarily an outfit. usually, when internet authors put photos in their stories, it’s to show the ootd/makeup/hairstyle/what y/n is supposed to look like. i’m personally not into that. i think that should all be up to the reader’s imagination! that’s why we read, isn’t it? to be able to create our own faces and scene layouts from scratch!)

social media au’s. (VERY controversial. and kinda ironic since i’ve actually made a whole ass text fic. but lemme tell you it was not fun and i will never do it again 😭i don’t know. i’m not very big on social media lol. and a possible romance developing from such unauthentic apps like instagram, twitter, snapchat doesn’t sit right with me. i’m more into traditional/authentic romance! the kind where you sit down face to face and talk and giggle for hours—without the presence of devices)

a bad ending. (man this one’s a very personal pet peeve of mine. imagine slaving away reading a 100k+ fic just to find out the ending is abrupt, the strings are left untied and your favorite character just... dies. for no reason at all. i hate that feeling of no closure. a bad ending doesn’t necessarily mean a SAD one. i prefer sad/angsty endings to a happily ever after. but i think the ending makes up the whole story. and to have a good ending, the ending must somehow still connect to the rest of the story.)

character inconsistencies. (i love character development as much as the dude next door but just because a character does a 180 out of nowhere doesn’t mean they actually developed at all. real people take time to change!!)

when there are author’s notes IN THE MIDDLE of the story. (believe it or not, i’ve seen this happen. it interrupts the flow of the plot and it looks unprofessional. and the fact that i used to do this when i first started writing ff’s bYE—)

when the romance escalates from 0 to 100. (i’m guilty of this. but it’s also a pet peeve of mine to read something like this LOL. but i get it. writing subtle developments in romance is hard 😭😭but it doesn’t excuse itself from being one of my major pet peeves 😀😀)

when mental illness, domestic abuse, trauma is romanticized. (this is a given, i think. don’t romanticize someone else’s struggles for your fictional pleasure, please!!)

telling instead of showing. (probably one of the biggest pet peeves of mine. too often, i see writers outright telling me that their oc is ‘independent’ and ‘strong’ or that oc and jimin’s romance is ‘unparalleled.’ but if i don’t feel that from the writing itself, i’m not going to be able to believe it. but if you show me that oc is independent and that oc and jimin are meant to be with little scenarios and anecdotes, that’s gonna be a lot more effective!)

when’s there’s no chemistry between the couple. (this is probably everyone’s pet peeve LMAO)

the “oh no! there’s only one bed!” trope. (i never understood this because. damn just take the couch or sleep on the floor. OR just sleep in the same bed with a pillow barrier. it’s literally not a big deal 😭unless 👀 idk this one 100% depends on execution)

and i saved the worst for last:

when you read 50+ chapters for an ‘ongoing’ fic but when you get to the ‘end’... you realize it’s been discontinued since 2017 😀😀😀(the pain is fucking real y’all)

um.... that was a lot 😭😭i’m sorry. i actually thought i’d be a lot pickier, but i guess i’m actually really lenient on types of tropes and au’s. i’m okay with basically 99.9% of all tropes (yes, including vampire, abo, love triangle, etc) because i believe all tropes depend solely on EXECUTION. so generally, i keep an open mind. (with the exception of fake dating, idol au’s, social media au’s and the tHeRe’S oNlY oNe bEd trope lmaoo) 

basically, i’m quick to give things a chance but quick to leave too 😔😔

i swear i have more penchants than pet peeves 😭😭but that’s a story for another time!!

[hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall]

So this will be quiet long but very important for anyone that follows me or my work.

First of all I want to thank you all for reading and reacting in any way with my blog (whether its reading my own stories or liking whatever I reblog). It matters the world to me, really!

I have created this account to be as anonymous as I can be while doing something I love - writing. I'm not native in English and I never said I'm perfect in it, but there is something in this language that gives me more freedom and creativity than my own. And by creating this account I wanted to set my imagination free and just write. Whether it would be ff or any stories that would came up. 

I have a huge anxiety and one of the lowest self esteem and creating something as big (or small whatever you call it) as a Tumblr account has been an enormous step for me. Despite being anonymous I was giving a huge, uncertain part of myself to a world and people I have never seen or met before. I became more vulnerable than I have ever been before. And in the beginning I loved it. It has become my gate away from a serious, sometimes too hard to handle life. It was fun and I have met some amazing people (shout out to all the Discord people, you know who you are!) 

It took me a long time to understand Tumblr (and still I'm not sure if I know how it works). I was growing with it and when I go back and see my first stories I cringe but it kind of gives me satisfaction. Because I see that I grow not only as a person but also as a writer. 

Maybe this is why I need that time off? 

I would have never thought or hoped for over 550 followers. So many people looked at what I create, what I like and decided that, yeah 'I'll give her a chance'. This is why I think this gets harder and harder the further you go. Because you grow and it is only natural that you hope that while you grow your work will grow with you. And when it doesn't, it hurts. Something deep down inside makes you realise that all these people don't follow you because they like what you create, but because they like what other people create. 

Do not get me wrong. I am happy to reblog anything that has caught my attention. There are people out there that are just so amazing and are not being heard or appreciated enough. Which makes me think that God, I'm such a whiny bitch! But I don't know, maybe I am… 

For over three months I think I published two stories. Each had less than 70 interactions. I am not going to be the one to say reblog reblog reblog, because I'm actually happy with the likes. A simple like (hell even a heart comment makes my day) is just simple enough. I like and strive for constructive criticism. I write for the people and I want to hear what they get to say. And when the time has come that they are silent, so beat it, so will I. 

I know I'm being selfish, because I am the last person who should say this. I have an awful tracklist of reacting to stories. But for me, even a stupid like is a road from anxiety to an almost panick attack 'am I too pushy?' 'What should I write?' 'This story is too good for me to ruin it with my stupid comment'. So here, please answer the comments, reblogs, because if you don't, people won't keep posting them. 

I'm not leaving Tumblr. I will try and quiet down the voices in my head and actually be more productive in a reblog and comment sections. But I will not be posting anything. 

For the past four months I have written A LOT (over 50) short stories, one-shots or longer stories that I haven't published  because I just couldn't find a reason to. NOT LIKE ANYONE'S ENJOYING THEM ANYMORE ANYWAY.

So before I start hating on writing I need a break. Maybe I will come back, maybe it will take me a month, maybe a year. Maybe I will never come back. But now? I just don't find the fun in it. 

I'm sorry to these people that wait for my stories. I really am, and I hope you will understand. But from now on MY MASTER LIST IS SUSPENDED. 

Thank you to those that read through all this. And I hope that you don't take it as my whiny cry out thing. I want to be fair with all of you and the only way of doing it is for me to open up. 

See you soon 💕

[justgottafinishthischapter]

Making a Fictional Language

So you’re writing a story where you want to create a fictional language. That’s great. Only problem is, you’re not quite sure how to go about it. Fear not, I have a few tricks up my sleeve that I use myself when constructing a language. Now of course, before we can discuss how to build a conlang, it’s worth mentioning what a conlang is.

The term “Conlang” is short-hand for Constructed Language. What this means is that the language is fully realized and fully formed with proper grammar, an expansive dictionary, and could theoretically be learned and used in day-to-day conversation. A Conlang is not a real language. It doesn’t exist in our real world. But it’s well formed enough that it could be learned and spoken with a wide reach of use. Examples of Conlangs include Klingon, High Valyrian, Dothraki, and Na’vi. There are some lesser forms of Conlangs such as Functional Languages. That is, languages that exist only to say a few words. Before being turned into an official language for the show, Valyrian had very few words. It was the job of a linguist to construct a language around the fundamentals that George established in his books. Another example is Atlantean from the Disney movie Atlantis: the Lost Empire. There is just as much Atlantean as needed for the script and nothing else, and if you wanted to learn the Atlantean word for fire, you’ve gotten your hopes up for nothing. Some are also simply text-based, such as Hylian in the Legend of Zelda. It uses different symbols, but it all directly translates to the Japanese language, making it just a re-skinned version of Japanese.

So, how does one actually build a conlang? Honestly, a good first step is to do some research on Phonetics. But the crash course is this: a Phoneme is the simplest sound you can make. There’s an international phoenetic alphabet (IPA) that you can find tons of online. Every distinct sound made by human language has a specific symbol to represent the sound. Learning to read these symbols and the sounds they make will make it easier to find sound links between words. Now, let’s get to the actual methods and the steps involved.

Method 1: The Library

You may have heard of a Sound Library before. For sound technicians, a sound library is a database of sound effects and noises they can Foley into film projects. Building a language can work the same way. In the Librarian method, look through the list of IPA and look for the sounds you want to use in your language. Think about the tone of the language, and whether you’re looking for something softer or harsher, and the kind of culture the people have. Once you have your library of phonemes, it’s just a question of how you want to go about forming words. You could roll die to decide syllables and which sounds to use, you could play it by ear, you could compare to languages you want to sound like. The main appeal of this method is that it creates a great consistency with the sound of a language.

Method 2: The Language Blender

You know you want your language to sound coarse and rough but you’re not sure how to make it sound that way? A good method I like using is taking common words that your world would use, such as Fire or Sun, and translate it into about 3-5 languages that fit the sound you’re trying to invoke. Once you have all of your words translated, you have two paths. Option 1: Find the middle ground. If 3/5 of your words had the letters ma next to each other, chances are, that’s a good pair of letters to carry over to your own language. Option 2: Take your real life languages and put them through the Language Mixer on Chaoticshiny.com. A major benefit of this method is systematically learning words in other languages, and even seeing the etymological roots that tie languages together. The one downside of this language building format is that you may end up with words that don’t mix well together, or as they mix, you find that the sounds of the words don’t tend to mesh well, so it’s important to have a Base Language, the root language you build your fictional language around. No matter what, include at least part of the translation from this language, and you’ll be more grounded in your approach. 

Method 3: The Root System

This is a conlang creating system I learned from Artifexian on Youtube, and I’ll link the video he made right [here] if you want to see it for yourself. He has a lot of great world building videos and I love his content, so don’t be shy about giving him your likes and support because he talks about a lot of the world building aspects people tend to gloss over, myself included. What this method does is it focuses on forming root words that then lead into forming other words.

This is a root system language sheet I designed based on my own fantasy world. In their culture, running water is associated with healing and cleaning because it carries off dirt and other foul things and wipes them away. For this reason, rivers have associations with cleanliness, healing, and life. And this is something worth keeping in mind when building your own language. How does the culture itself interact with the word you are describing? For instance, the reason we say “vandalize” to mean to destroy someone else’s property is because of the Vandal barbarians that plagued Europe during the last legs of the Roman Empire. Heck, the term Flanderize isn’t even that closely linked to the Simpsons, but it emerged as a result of Ned Flanders’ character becoming stock and one-note, which led to the creation of the term. When it comes to actually building the dictionary, this can be a really useful step. So, for example, let’s say the word for River in my language was Asar. A boatman might be Asarii, much like how we have work and worker, fight and fighter, dance and dancer, the suffix of -ii denotes someone who does the root term, in this case, they go on the river. Meanwhile, a fisher could be Asarakii, having Asar mean river, -ak as a suffix for a thing living in the river, and the -ii as a suffix for those who catch the things that live in the river. And for something more abstract like River of Time or River of Stars, you might get something like Asarag Talari.

UNIVERSAL CONLANG TIPS

Keep in mind the people the language exists for. if you’re creating a conlang for dragons, reptiles don’t have lips, so the labial sounds of [p], [b], [f], [v], and possibly even sounds that require lip shaping such as [o], [u], and [w] might not fit the creatures that need to be speaking. Furthermore, if the culture exists before global communication and they live next to the ocean, chances are, they won’t have a word for camel, desert, or sandstorm unless it’s a desert port city. This is why Dothraki has words for every kind of horse and no word for thank-you.

Remember that certain sounds can be switched around. Throughout human language, I’ve learned that certain letters can easily be switched out for each other, and this is in part due to linguistics history. Most of the letters that can be exchanged I actually realized while studying Grimm’s Law and the evolution of language, and by looking at Welsh in particular. In Welsh, the way to write a [f] sound is to write it as ff. When just one f is by itself, it becomes [v]. The sounds of [d], [t], [θ], and [ð] share a similar connection, as do [k] and [g], [ʃ] and [ꭓ], and [b] and [p]. So changing between these similar sounds could prove to be a useful strategy for mixing up your language.

You absolutely have to create a grammar system or you’re going to make a huge mess. That means word order, syntax, suffixes, tense, conjugation, and whatever else is needed. If it helps, learn how another language conjugates its terms. In Sumerian, the phrase “I am your king” is Lugdalzuimen. Lugdal means King, zu is your, and imen means “I am”. So word order is Object Possessive Subject. Then in the phrase Sesguene imes means “they are my brothers”. In actual word order it translates out as “brother my -s they are”. Now we see that the word order is Object Possessive Pluralization Subject. In the phrase Dumuninlagasakak, it becomes child queen Lagas of of. Meaning child [queen of Lagas] of or Child of the Queen of Lagas. By understanding how this language structures itself, something like the phrase River of Stars I made earlier could now be broken down to be something like Asartalariag (River Star -s of). I find it helps in this case to word it as “River star many of” to get “river of many stars” to figure out when the pluralizing suffix would be applied.

Resources:

Wiktionary.com

Chaoticshiny.com

http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/definitionlookup (for all of your ancient greek translation needs. Set it to Latin transliteration)

http://www.abair.tcd.ie/?lang=eng (because Google Translate doesn’t sound out Irish words)

https://www.wordreference.com/enfr/ (it’s set English to French, but it has a lot of languages, and it’s great because it also teaches you slang uses of words.)

[mcrmadness]

Oooo, how about two from each of them? Fanfic asks: J and P, film asks: 15 and 16, music asks: 20 and 26.

OMG thanks!!! :DDD

Ask games: Fanfic asks, Film asks and Music asks. (People you can still send me asks if you want, asks are fun to answer to!)

***

FANFIC ASKS:

A little background before we get to the questions: I haven’t written too many, actually only 6 quite short ones (and one of them is a bit longer than usual) about Die Ärzte (Bela/Farin FTW) and all of these I have written between the years 2009 and 2012, so I was 18-21 which means they are not that good. And there’s lots of things I wouldn’t write anymore. I also have a WIP on my computer, I started it in 2012 but stopped writing altogether only to start writing again in the end 2018, it has bit over 28k words currently and tbh I have written 90% of that when I started writing again two years ago. I still have my old ones up on LiveJournal (ask for a link), but I haven’t published anything fron this later one as I’ve just been writing down all kinds of snippets whenever I have had an inspiration. I think those are also a lot better in quality than what I wrote before, the old ones are quite cringey.

J. What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

I guess we talk about those fics I have also finished, now. It’s actually hard to decide but I would say my favourite is either Why not even once? or The Boring Book Freak. I think the latter is actually The favourite.

The first one (was actually my second dä ff overall) is set to happen in 2003 and in that one Farin is leaving for another vacation somewhere and Bela wants to go with him, but Farin wants to travel alone and Bela is struggling with that, as well as with Farin finally leaving and having to somehow survive his time at home without Farin there. The writing itself is bit stupid and I feel that the end got bit too far but otherwise I like the idea.

The second one (came actually after the previous one) is set to happen in the early/mid 90s (my fave Bela/Farin era btw) and on that they just are at some random summer cottage. Now, fuck cottagecores and such, I wrote it because summer cottages are a thing in Finland and I wrote it when cottagecore was not even cool yet. Somehow I imagined that it would be very Farin-like to rent a cottage from the middle of nowhere, in a forest and then spend a weekend or so there with Bela. Who then is not entertained at all and is bored because Farin won’t put away his book and won’t give him any attention, so he tries everything to get Farin’s attention. I especially like the visual images this fanfic gives to me, I can see their hairs and outfits so well and those are also aesthetically very pleasing. (They look the same as in that Absolut Live interview from the 90s, I don’t control their looks with my fics usually, I just have an idea and then my brain creates how they look in that particular scene :D)

I have also written a short songfic around the lyrics of their song “Ich weiß nicht (ob es Liebe ist)” and it was fun to imagine that as Bela/Farin. That was fun to write.

This got a bit long so I put the rest under a cut:

P. What are your favorite tropes to write?

(Had to google what a trope is lol. I’m old-school and no longer know most of the terms unless they’re old terms.)

Angst - I put my own angst, sadness and angriness into my writing often. It’s when I feel like in real life I would need other people but I don’t know how to reach out or don’t just feel comfortable about opening up, I open up a file and start writing. This is also where we get to the next trope...

Hurt/Comfort - But not so that X hurts Y, but that Y feels hurt for other reasons and then X comforts them. I kinda got obsessed with this theme after being bullied at school so I was always hurt but never comforted, so I often go back to those feels and emotions with my text to look for that comfort (hug, nice words, whatever) I never got in real life.

Fluff - This is bit complicated because I like writing fluff but I also hate reading fluff I have written. Because it does not sound like me. And sometimes when I write, I feel like standing behind my own back and vomiting a little on the inside because of how cheesy and disgusting that is but still I can’t stop writing. And then I feel like a different person when I read them because I can’t believe it’s ME who wrote them. The same way when I watch movies and people kiss, I always look away. And I want to look away when I read my fanfiction. But I can’t, especially because I know I looked at that scene in my head when I wrote it.

Humour - I love humour so much and I like to include this to my writing. Normally I put the humour in my comics but some of that fits also in the regular texts too.

***

FILM ASKS:

These are super tough but also fun - I have been trying to think of what to answer to these for days.

15. A film everyone loves but you hate?

The Avengers (-12). Sorry but not sorry. Well I don’t hate it but I don’t understand why everyone says it’s the best Marvel movie ever. It’s not. It’s full of clichés and stupid forced heteroromances and whatnot and the plot was just so, so predictive I don’t understand why it’s often talked about as some sort of cinematic master piece. I literally was able to tell everything that was gonna happen next when I watched it for the first time. Only cool things in that movie are Loki and Iron Man, whose character I already liked as I had seen the Iron Man movie and liked it. But I hated both Thor movies (the third one is awesome tho). 

I like Marvel and I have seen I guess most of the movies - before MCU all good Marvel movies to come out were The X-Men movies and Spider-Man movies, and because I saw so many terrible Marvel movies, I was avoiding the whole MCU and I got into these movies much later and still, after seeing them all, I say The Avengers is one of the worst ones. Thor and Thor 2 are pretty much even worse (and I haven’t even seen the Hulk movie because it looks terrible), mainly because I just can’t stand the fact they’re mainly just built around Thor and his love interest...

16. A film you love but everyone else hates?

Spider-Man 3 (or the whole trilogy with Tobey Maguire). I see we continue with Marvel here but seriously I don’t understand why everyone is always picking on Tobey’s version of Spider-Man? And people especially hate the third movie and how Venom was portrayed in it (I’m obsessed with Venom’s human teeth pls I want his teeth), when it’s actually the best one for me. The second one is bit boring because it was again all about whining and Mary-Jane... Anyway, the reason why I am so attached to these movies is that I saw the first Spider-Man movie from TV when I was a teenager and in junior high myself, and I was bullied and a bit of a nerd so I could relate to Peter Parker a lot, and it gave me just so much strength to see him become Spider-Man and to stand up against the bullies and other assholes.

I also saw the third movie in the movie theater and there was one scene during which I started hysterically laughing with my friend because of an expression Tobey made as he was sitting on a bed, I don’t know why but somehow I just totally lost it at that :D It still makes me laugh so much when I see it! And when the movie ended, I heard a The Killers song “Move Away” for the first time during the end credits and TK was one of my favorite bands at the time (and still is).

***

MUSIC ASKS:

20. a song that empowers you

It gotta be Dead! by My Chemical Romance:

This album was what got me through all the shit that happened when I was 15+ and especially this song always made (and still makes) me feel so good. I often listened to my old mp3 player while walking to school and back home and every time this song came by, I just felt like nothing can harm and that life FINALLY was so great! It’s so energetic and still makes me feel that living is actually super awesome.

26. a song that taught you a lesson

Hmmm. I think I will answer to this with Dusche by Farin Urlaub.

That thumbnail is terrible but... And why did I choose this song? Well, I’m all for the sound what comes to music and I’d say at least 80% of all lyrics go way over my head. I just don’t have the skills for understanding poetry and also very poetic lyrics make me go crazy. I hate not knowing and when I have to assume, guess and interpret something. I don’t want to guess but I wanna know what someone has actually thought.

Dusche was the first song that had lyrics that for the first time ever actually spoke for me. I probably saw some video with English subtitles a fan had made and it just blew me away because holy shit, people are capable of writing lyrics even I can understand??? And that way I realized I can like lyrics but only if they make absolutely no sense (aka are funny or somewhat crazy, like Dusche) or when they are written in a story form or sung from the 1st person view or to “you” or in passive - but only if I can get behind the idea there.

After Dusche, Farin’s song Porzellan followed. And one of my absolute favourites is Karten. So, Farin is one of the only few people whose lyrics I have been able to understand. I still don’t hear lyrics and don’t understand a majority of the lyrics my fave bands write, and I have understood only a couple of Bela’s lyrics and I’m not sure if I’ve understood any of Rod’s lyrics. It’s not even about the language barrier anymore really, it’s just the topics or wordings I cannot comprehend.

Thank you again for the ask! This was very interesting to ponder and answer to :)

[quietlysatan]

A Land Not Mine - theprosefool, AO3

Link: Here!!

Rating: Explicit

Favorite Quote(s): I just, love this part so much???

Kaidan didn’t take his hand, but he smiled a relieved, worn sort of smile that added a crinkle to his eyes. “I’m glad to hear that, Shepard. I was....” He trailed off, cleared his throat.

“What?”

“I was worried you might feel like you... owe them. For bringing you back.” He looked down as he said it but his voice was firm.

"No," Shepard said easily. "I'm glad to be alive, I am--especially right now--but I didn't ask for this. Any of this. I don't owe them a damn thing."

This is how adults work children, they figure out “Oh, this person won’t back down on this subject that I also won’t back down on” and figure out a compromise or they move on until a later date. Some of y’all don’t know this and it shows.

And that was that. Shepard could tell he hadn’t entirely won Kaidan over to the idea of working with Cerberus, but Kaidan didn’t seem to have anything else to argue with. Neither of them was going to get what they wanted, so they put it away and moved on, finding no lack for conversation.

Gods how this must feel, the energy this must carry for two people to experience

Kaidan moaned against his mouth and thrust upward just a bit, but then he put his hands on Shepard’s hips to steady them both and tilted his head back to sever the kiss and look at him, eyes following the lines of scars once again. No words, just a look, his brow furrowed and his mouth a tight line despite the flush of arousal coloring his cheeks. He released his hold on one hip to touch the glow at his jaw with trembling fingers, and Shepard couldn't bare that look, not directed at him, so he closed his eyes and focussed on his touch instead. Kaidan traced that scar before moving on to another, and the trembling didn’t stop so Shepard made to distract them both, pressing forward and capturing Kaidan's lips again.

It’s almost painful in the best way possible

And that was another lie, really; as desperate as he was to stay at Kaidan’s side, he was headed back in the morning, back to his ship and his fight and his responsibilities. But it was the truth, too, somehow. Some part of him--every part of him that wasn’t Commander Shepard, Spectre, the parts that were just John, those parts would stay with Kaidan.

Smiles during sex are always a win, always, smiling and laughing is just, the best part of being With somebody else. 

Kaidan must have felt his smile because now Shepard could feel his, and it left him light-headed and more than a little hard.

To know someone loves you as much as you love them, must truly be the greatest treasure in all the worlds

And maybe Kaidan wanted it just as bad as he did, for as long as he had. It felt like it, the way he touched him, greedy hands rolling hard over the muscles in Shepard’s back from the hem of his pants to the nape of his neck, the way he kept their bodies pressed close, never allowing Shepard more than an inch of distance. Not that he wanted even that. 

CONSENT IS SEXY AND IT IS EASY. PERIOD. END OF STORY. NO ARGUMENTS ALOUD. (Except for the BDSM people in the back, cause y’all are better at consent even when it’s r*** play and honestly, it shows.)

He was desperate for more friction, but he wasn’t going to make the next push. He would eagerly receive and return with enthusiasm anything Kaidan offered him, but he would stop the second Kaidan hesitated. Tonight, it was Kaidan’s call.

I wonder if you can sense my gay longing the more I type

But before he could get a taste Kaidan leant down, capturing his mouth, and now all he could see was brown eyes, and that was good too, maybe better, because Kaidan was straddling his hips as they kissed,

Humor during any form of intimacy (fun fact, intimacy is My English Word that I cannot spell even though it’s my first language, we all have one, that, language and farenhehe) is important, and so is hoping for the absolute best (whatever that may be)

“I don’t, uh....” Kaidan lifted his head to look at him, a nervous smile creasing the skin around his eyes in a way that had Shepard’s heart in a clinch. “I don’t have....”

It took him a moment to grasp what Kaidan was talking about, distracted as he was by everything he could see and feel, but when comprehension dawned he had a nervous smile of his own. “M--my bag.”

Kaidan arched an eyebrow, that devilish smirk Shepard had seen so little of, and somehow it worked to calm his nerves--though not as much as the light kiss that followed. “High expectations, huh, John?” he chuckled when he pulled back.

“No. Just hopeful.”

DO YOU FEEL THE FUCKING LOVE RIGHT HERE???? BECAUSE I DO, AND NOW i’M SUFFERING FROM GAY LONGING 2.0

Shepard would never know, because Kaidan opted for taking his mouth rather than finishing the thought, but it was slow and sweet and so Kaidan that maybe Shepard knew exactly what he meant, because kissing like this felt a little like dying and a little like starting anew. 

SAFE SEX IS IMPORTANT AND EASY FFS IT’S 2020

It took him longer than it should have but he found what he was looking for, a pack of condoms and a bottle of lube.

Words & Chapter(s): 30,443 words and 8 chapters

Pairing(s): Kaidan Alenko/Male Shepard (Whose name is John btw)

Summary: After being dead for two years, there’s only one person Shepard wants to see. So he writes a letter.

My summary: If I could tell you what this fic is about I’d say it is about Kaiden Alenko and John Sheppard falling so completely and irreversibly in love that it’s nearly painful to watch, or in this case, I suppose, to read

Score: 13 (I read it twice guys, me) ((Three times cause I lost half of this in an edit))  You have already left kudos here. :)

Warning(s): Shepard, and thus Kaiden, aren’t 100% sure Shep is Shep, which is fair. 

Also, ME2 settings.

Mentions of Shepard dying, or rather, “dying”.

Really good lemon, you can tell when it’s going to start, basically a little after they start full-on making out. Also, I don’t mean really good as in “This got me really hot” but like “This made me Feel Emotions but In A Good Way”

Also, hope you don’t mind mid-coitus interruptions ;)

The collectors still arrive there

And so does the angst but not too much, like, Just the Right amount of angst

Minor OC character that you probably liked death

Mentions of painful injuries not gruesomely described though

Also, mentions of PTSD and Sheppard has a nightmare

Pros: This is actually my second read through, so obviously it’s good. Honestly, even if you don’t like this ship I’d still recommend it just for the story of it all.

I think my favorite part of this fic is that while there’s angst and “how do I know you’re you?” moments, it’s not needlessly dragged out to create a painful heaping pile of woeful angst. It’s a very realistic and accurate both to the characters themselves and real-life response, it’s very organic and every moment between them has this feeling of like, “Of course that happened next what else could you possibly have done there?” realism, like is Shep and Kaiden were actually real live people what else could you expect to happen but what you’re reading, if that makes any sense.

Also, I love how in love with each other they feel, how magnetic they are, how inevitable it seems, ya’know?

I just love this story and its author so freaking much, honestly, it’s just too sweet and calm and honest, even during the angsty moments it still feels good, ya’know?

But seriously, I love how close to the edge they are throughout this whole fic, how close to just, tipping over at the beginning there, it’s so, satisfying to watch and experience, and it’s amazing and filling and fulfilling and just. So. Fucking. Good.

I don’t know man, I just, really love the little ways that theprosefool gets across them being in love, or being close to it, or falling into it, like, the way this is written is just so perfectly good that I don’t even want to skip the lemon scene which is, kinda rare for me normally just for overall various reasons.

Cut from the part of the favorite lines because it grew too long to go there imo 

“Smiles during sex are always a win, always, smiling and laughing is just, the best part of being With somebody else, even if it’s not sex, it’s so nice to have an intimate moment with someone and to see or feel or hear their smile, their laughs, and giggles, and chuckles, and snorts, and to just, feel how in love you are with them and in return how in love they are with you. Because, much like the song (and unlike the story, I promise they don’t break up no worries) even if you break up permanently and forever, it’s important to remember the good if at all possible. It’s important to remember that, even if y’all ain’t now, you were. 

And that means something. “

Gods I’m so glad op didn’t use warmth or heat or something like that, it always jars me from the story, however they do use shaft 

But they also say dick instead of throbbing erection, member, manhood, etc. so it’s okay!

Aesthetic: But in all seriousness, the realism and humanity flowing like a gentle river through your hand in the form of words is just, so fucking refreshing. It’s like drinking lemonade in a Vegas summer, like playing with your friends the first day of fourth-grade recess, like holding hands with your girlfriend, like remembering your first kiss as a preteen, like being hugged by your friend during a panic attack, like laughing so hard you snort AND cry and lose your breath, it feels like looking at him and just, falling, it feels like jumping into the pool and making the biggest splash, like playing in the neighborhood streets, like being a kid, like remembering that homework you swore was the hardest and thinking back and realizing that just wasn't true, but also how proud you were to finish it.

Food Aesthetic: Vanilla ice cream cones during the summer, French hot chocolate during the winter, cheesy fries during fall, and fresh sweet plums during spring all while still holding their hand, and kissing their cheeks and nose and lips, and making a mess and laughing about it. Just, silly food moments that make you fall in love a little bit more.

Word Aesthetic because I can: Longing. (Obviously.)

Song Aesthetic: Wolf Alice - Don't Delete the Kisses (And the video and possibly the whole fucking playlist too) but the ending feels like this one Alanis Morissette - Hand In My Pocket oddly enough and maybe also, the innocent unwavering love of this song, and it’s music video Heartless Bastards - Only For You

Gif Aesthetic: Their relationship feel like this (disclaimer, they’re not girls, sadly... I should look for that👀)

And this

And this too

But also, meanwhile, Sheppard and Kaiden @ Cerberus immediately and without hesitation at all times 25/∞

[lucyyh]

Ranting: Arrow 7x10.

English is not my first language, so be kind. If you think a word, or a sentence doesn’t make sense, please let me know, just as I said before, be kind.

In general, I thought it was a good episode. It has action, little of DD in the present time, and a lot of great Olicity moments to enjoy. I even enjoy the FF, and that says a LOT.

Let me put my thought in somewhat order:

Emiko Queen:

Unlike many others, I have no problem with Emiko. I think what it has been shown until now about her, is interesting and has the potential of being much more. What I do not like is that the writers are basically replacing a sister with another. There was no need for Thea to suffer just so Emiko could exist. I’m basing this opinion in the fact that Roy is alone in the future, implying that Thea and him didn’t get their happy ending...once again, as they did with Quentin, they are using the easiest solution to develop a new character/plotline. I don’t like it.

The mystery of her mom’s death is, well, intriguing. I’m wondering why she was killed, the reasons behind can be more tied to the general plot of the season than I imagine..and I like that.

Minor complain: Is the parallels they are trying to make between Oliver and her. It’s not necessary, at least I don’t think they are. Let her become her own person, without showing us how much like Oliver she is (or how she got a new partner thanks to a bullet wound).

The FF:

I found them incredibly interesting. A lot of information was given by Dinah; not only about the people who made the pact (Does that means that Curtis is no longer in the picture, or that he will abandon the heroic path at one point?), but it did too about the relationship between Rene and Zoe. It made a nice contrast with present time, where they are an united front, while in the future they are at odds.

Rene being a fracking traitor is no surprise. What a crap. They could had redeemed him, but I guess  is not in the cards.

The mystery about Felicity keeps creating more questions. Is she dead? at this point I’m inclined to think that yes, she is. But she isn’t the one who created the plan to level Star City, but the one who was trying to prevented it. Maybe she infiltrated the organization that Rene clearly belongs to, but she was discovered. I don’t want her to be dead, but with the information we have, It wouldn’t surprise me if she is.

Minor complain: In the episode before the crossovers, when Dinah told Zoe she needed to visit Rene, it gave me the impression she was at odds with him, and that she didn’t saw him often...but here suddenly she works for him? I don’t know, it confused me.

Also, bad wigs are Arrow’s trademark. But man Rene’s was the worst! 🤣🤣🤣🤣. It was a disgrace!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

A.R.G.U.S.: Ok, Lizard boy continues to be annoying af and I don’t care about him.

What I did like to watch, was some development in Digg’s arch for this season. His conversation with Lyla in the hallway was an eye opener for him, if his reaction is anything to go by. Maybe this is the starting point for Digg to realised he FUCK UP. If the spoilers are true, it should. I do not like the last part of the Argus scenes. I swear to god if something happens to Lyla...

Minor Complain: As stated before, if the FUCKING LIZARD DOES SOMETHING TO LYLA.

And Finally:

OLICITY: Their scenes were the best of the episode, no doubt about it. They were working as a team, having quiet moments when they were just two people in love.

I read some people  wanting Oliver to be more demonstrative in his affection, and I agree. I want to see him in episodes to come, be affectionate with Felicity as much as she is with him. But I understand that maybe is not in Oliver’s nature to be so demonstrative...and in my opinion, that’s ok. Not all of us show our love through touches. We do it with little actions, or in Oliver’s case, with smiles and looks. Felicity is the one who needs to touch the person she loves, to show him she is there for him, and that he can trust and lean on her.

She does it in this episode, in every scene they got. Not only she gave him support, but she did what she does best: she gave one of her pep talks and once again, remind Oliver he is better than his father ever was. From the moment Robert shot himself in the head, it’s been a recurrent theme how much Oliver think he owes his father something, and feels like he was not worth it of the sacrifice Robert did. And that is so far off the truth...luckily for him, Felicity will always be there to remind him he doesn’t owe his father anything, and that he is a better human being than Robert.

Beth said they where a force to be reckoned. Thank you, for started to prove it with facts.

Minor Complain: NONE, BECAUSE IT’S OLICITY AND I LOVE THEM.

Now, I do have a problem with the plot about Robert abandoning Emiko and her mother:

WHY ON EARTH MOIRA WAS INVOLVED?

WHY ON EARTH WAS SHE BLAMED FOR HIS HUSBAND’S COWARDICE AND LACK OF MORAL?

I was talking with @allimariexf  about this, because I don’t understand why it was necessary to involve her? it’s like the writers are always trying to justify Robert’s actions and equate them with Moira’s. Allie told me they were retrofitting her character, and it was obvious. She is right of course. Robert’s actions didn’t need Moira hiding that letter from Walter, or Felicity telling Oliver “Moira didn’t let him much choice”. HOW ABOUT NO. Let Robert own his mistakes without trying to justify how he abandoned a woman he supossedly loved and their daughter? how about we acknowledge that if he had wanted, Moira wouldn’t have stopped him for taking care of them?

Please writers, stop demonizing Moira just so Robert doesn’t look as terrible as he was.

Ok.

Random Thoughts:

-No Will. I miss my boy, in present and future. As I miss Roy.

-No much Curtis, thanks google.

-I liked to watch a team working together. Although it wasn’t the one I would like to watch combating crime.

And..that’s it. Once again I wrote more than I was thinking.

[rabbitindisguise]

oooo my phone died, killing the possibility of me doing my Daily Assigned Task (I only have one because aside from staying afloat with food and stuff that’s all my brain can cognitively handle. Yes, I also do this doing the school year. Yes, I know that sounds absolutely bonkers) right this moment so while I have my boredom captive in this textpost, let’s ruminate over the nature of humanity some more ignore me I’m talking to myself 

it is also very extremely weird and by “very” I mean “not at all” and “extremely” I mean “minimally, if anything, actually not super weird in any of the senses of the word” and weird still just means weird because otherwise the previous things I just said would no longer be accurate BUT

let’s just say it’s totally expected 

that people find These Weird Things That I Do generally, absolutely fascinating in fiction. Like, my original works for example are steeped in weirdness. Rolling with abnormalities. Boiling with oddity. And so on. And I don’t pull this out of my ass! Oh no. This is all like . . . gosh, inspired stuff. From things I saw and liked and felt reflected my very soul in fiction. 

But they’re totally hated in meatspace 

I wonder 

Anyway, it’s also really strange to see posts about this Weird Things That People Do on tumblr and to read people complimenting them and to feel a warm glow of pleasant optimism about the state of humanity, and hear the very same audience of tumblr people absolutely go nuts over the strangest bullshit I have ever seen or heard or conceived of in my entire life. Like I get weirdly tense and fraught subjects. I get really tense and pissy if someone headcanons a character as binary trans when I headcanon them as non-binary when I’m a nb trans it literally doesn’t matter aside from my emotional attachment to the concept. I’m not proud of it! But I get it, is my point. I understand. It makes sense to me. 

But what just doesn’t quite click, doesn’t snap into the convoluted logic of my brain meats, is HOW exactly SO MANY people have the same weird gripes of this obscure stuff that should be totally okay if people are accepting the activist principles of ableism as nonsense and weirdness not being bad. Many others who are probably smart have said it is simply, nay, merely hypocrisy and I’ve met a human or two in my time alive, I can see the potential for that sort of thing to happen. However, considering that Herd Mentality is what it is, I don’t think it’s possible that the plague is actually “being widely inconsistent in the execution of your beliefs to fit in to society” when that’s so stigmatized but actually that being angry about the same things is good for some reason. 

This is important! It’s important because Reasons. Because if you say “hypocrite!” when there’s a fire, I don’t think anyone will understand or listen to the concern. If the answer is anything but hypocrisy, talking about it generally pisses people off and makes them yell at you- a near identical response of an actual hypocrite, confusing everyone further. So I don’t think it’s unfair to talk about hypocrisy, of course not, there is nothing I enjoy more than finding logical inconsistencies because it means the world can be improved etc etc that’s not the problem. The problem is most definitely that if the problem isn’t even hypocrisy than the solution isn’t the solution to hypocrisy.   

If my theory is right, or semi-right, or at least not wrong, then approaching a bunch of people yelling about a thing to encourage others to yell in tandem is not going to be won by yelling something opposing to that, especially if it makes them angrier and also makes them feel wronged. Instead, calmly being like “nah, dude, I don’t feel the same way, but it’s chill” is way better. Not only because it makes them look ridiculous for having an out of proportion reaction to someone being weird in public (the horror, whatever shall we do about ~being weird~ and doing it ~in public~) but there’s no defensive position to get on. There is no “debate tactics” to use. There’s absolutely not a disagreement about ableism or politics or intersectionality. Rather, it uplifts a contrary option that is confident and secure and this is exactly the same rhetorical device that Centrists or whatever they’re called, use all the damn time. People have talked At Length about jeez, idk, it being exhausting to constantly talk to a person that’s not as invested and doesn’t see it as the Serious Issue It Is- but from the perspective of when they’re actually talking about serious issues, rather than complaining that someone referenced a tumblr meme in public or plays mc and oh, no, how cringey 

This is of course blatant emotional manipulation but as the fairness complaint generally goes, they did it first. Multiple people weighing in on a topic with angry voices telling someone not to do something doesn’t work because they have secret actual good reasons and that shines through, it’s because there’s a number of angry people and they’re trying to subdue someone’s Weird with force. Emotional force, but there’s nothing about consent involved in this exchange. No personal boundaries. Shame is a mode of control. Power, even. Which is why I hate those second hand embarrassment fics and avoid them like the plague because it’s icky to me and makes me feel gross and I guess one of my personal triggers is someone feeling bad for doing something Shameful in public 

Which brings me to Weird Humanity Musings part II (III? I can’t do math) that have taken a weird non-activist and highly personal turn for the worst: 

I don’t think people notice how often emotional manipulation plays a part in subtle power plays that go on in human interactions every day. Humanity made dominance ffs. Humans are the ones that get upset and feel challenged with eye contact- not dogs. Dogs use sustained eye contact all the time for a bunch of reasons. Humans too. But it’s humans that recontextualized that behavior as exclusively dominance, a wholly human concept, and, whatever I’m not going to spend too much time on this because I don’t actually particularly care about it. But the point is actually just that humans went out of their way to create this thing, and it plays a part in social interactions. Mothers and daughters and siblings and friends all have scripts of code that basically go for the emotional center of the other person to get them to obey. Most people can’t recognize it because society has that whole “if everyone does it THIS must be the baseline of normal” be as well All Know, normal doesn’t even exist so that reaction is bullshit before it’s even analyzed in any meaningful sense. 

Example time because I highly doubt I can just say that off the cuff and actually get people to follow that train of thought to completion (unfortunately, I’d rather not have to write this post at all because it means one less problem in the world and that’s a good thing). 

Anytime someone says “I’m your mother!” it’s to reinforce the authority of the child that this person probably have financial, social, physical (such a medical) and emotional control over for almost two decades of their life, or however much it actually was. This is often used to make the child of the mother Do Something, like maybe they’re questioning her judgement or smth I don’t know I get this one a lot and it’s lost all meaning to me by now 

Whenever someone says “thank you” it generally plays into the social script where they do the whole dance of “I got this service from you, I say thanks, you say you’re welcome.” This works as a subtle manipulation (not necessarily negative! these examples aren’t Get Mad and Force Conformity examples, just How It Works examples) when someone doesn’t feel like they’ve done something for someone else, so saying “thanks” shows appreciation for the effort and can force an acknowledgement of that effort by expecting a “your welcome” or “no problem” from the other person. This gets shitty and creepy when someone doesn’t take silence aka “I’m not doing the dance because I don’t agree” to a degree where they’re like “oh? are you not going to say you’re welcome?” aka are you gonna be a conceited shithead that thinks they’re better than saying “you’re welcome” the most common social nicety that supposedly always costs nothing? Which does nothing to make the person to feel better and everything to leverage the situation and make them preform social interaction for the other person’s amusement. 

“Good morning” is another example. It doesn’t actually matter if the morning is good or not, but it establishes rapport and focuses on the positives- one of those things called “small talk.” (Never heard of her.) This is something someone can actually observe better at the cultural level- someone says “good morning” in english, in another language they say something else. Both show ideological underlying beliefs of the culture Because That’s How Culture And Language Work because it’s a sneaky not-liar that can’t hide its true feelings about things. 

I’m not actually all that good with the line between “what is acceptable emotional manipulation in a social context when the fundamentals of the english language rely on subtle power exchange to function [and holy shit would some people hate knowing That] and the unacceptable abusive emotional manipulation” and I generally err on the side of stuff that people seem to be explicitly asking for and prompting but I don’t always succeed and I don’t know that I’m doing the best method but that’s the most chaotic good thing I could come up with  

But it still remains that calling things emotional manipulation is both true and a misnomer because in some ways, they’re necessary to exist in society without being considered a jackass (as a self proclaimed “I was called a jackass using many different words that all basically mean jackass” that mostly doesn’t participate in these social nicety dances because I don’t like my brain yelling at me that I’m doing the same bullshit I hated as a Youth and I don’t like disappointing myself) and in others, they’re totally unneeded and artlessly cruel. I mean, heck, going through this internal debate every time someone says “good morning?” Who does that? (I do. This is why people think I’m a dumbass lmao. Jokes on them unfortunately,) 

Regardless of what people actually DO about it though, these things are the underlying mechanics of how emotional manipulation works. It’s a concoction of societal expectations, situational contexts, personal histories, selective pressures, and a bunch of other things in smaller amounts. Most of the time it’s “normal” social stuff but with a ton of exaggerated features (I almost used my own handle from a different Social Media and that my friends is having a lot of issues and self hatred due to abuse! and also anxieties over becoming abusive ofc but who doesn’t have those these days). Which is why I think it’s so important that it’s expansively defined so much because otherwise people are really thickheaded about emotional abuse specifically. They think it’s impossible to do in some cases and in others, think it’s exclusively the realm of insults and humiliation. 

Those exaggerate features are even harder to spot if someone doesn’t even recognize the interpersonal dynamics of language in the first place. It all just becomes nonsensical and no one can tell what came from where or what this particular question is abusive and not this other one. The logic gets poked with holes easier and abuse survivors get dismissed. 

Of course, expanding that definition to reshape thinking might just go along the same direction as representation, where even alluding to the truly abusive mechanics of actual, you know, emotional abuse, is seen as abusive. Everything, literally, would become problematic. There could be callout posts about any human interaction in any context with anyone ever. I’m confident in holding myself to a higher standard than the rest of society but I Cannot overstate that being bullshit to the nth degree that I couldn’t even put up with myself telling myself to keep to it as a standard. It just doesn’t work. I’ve tried it. That way lies the nonsense form of madness as in the non-nd kind. That, along with purity culture and censorship and doxxing and death threats and so on: I don’t fully want to release this theory out into the world in practice because I’m afraid society will just use it as fodder to be cruel to people but I’m also equally afraid that not saying anything will just cause people to, I don’t know, keep accidentally causing suffering to others. So I’ll stuff it under a read more and hope that keeps the impact minimal but not non-existent. 

But yeah this whole post is a demonstration that just because someone’s behaving weirdly doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re bad people. Even if they do something that seems downright mean. I read a post that was basically “there’s no such thing as asshole disorder” but there really is, and it’s whatever I have. I get so compelled to Do the right thing by my ethics and morals that I go through above *gestures* and take longer than neurotypicals do to respond to “good morning” and I don’t mean anything by it so I assume that people can tell because I assume the best in others, and others are free to assume the worst in me so they do. 

I’m not upset by it but I also wish that there were a better system to screen assholes than assuming that non-compliance with normality is a sign of evil, because that’s the system we seem to have. It might have a high reward in the brain via confirmation biases and whatnot, but that doesn’t seem worth the risk of basically knocking down any and every mental illness symptom that’s unpalatable. Because they’re all unpalatable to someone, somewhere. That’s what makes them symptoms. We don’t have any “glowing green hair” as symptoms because that’s just sick as fuck and I want some. People who have working with their symptoms and turned them into something beneficial have largely challenged societal ideas about what is “good” and “natural” to get there, and that type of work isn’t someone everyone is cut out for. 

Many physically disabled people are all medical model, all the way because they’ve been largely neurotypical their whole lives, and I’ve read their grieving posts like people recommend that I read and I just don’t see how I can help them empathize with me as a person that doesn’t give a shit if my clicking pen annoys people if it helps me focus. That’s an Asshole move if any has ever be determined by society, but at the same time, a common fundamental symptom of many disorders, and as such, I don’t feel bad about it and I don’t know that I could, ever, be made to feel guilty for existing. I’ve never seen myself as a drain on society. I’ve never felt like a freeloader. And I’ll never feel bad for being disable or neurodivergent. Does that make me the bad guy? Or the weird cool antihero from fiction? My impulse is to say “yes” to both ‘cause what people like in fiction is not always what they tolerate in real life 

It’s kinda weird and paradoxical that I can feel bad about not feeling bad but not feel bad about being disabled at the same time but w/e I’m an abuse survivor we, collectively, excel at stuff and things that most people may not understand so I guess that’s all the explanation I need