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ialwaysknewyouwerepunk · 2 years ago

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they wear flowers on their chest

for @mc5ftjillo, who inspired this post

so, as many may have noticed, our two favorite queers have been in the habit of showing off the flowers they really like. most significantly, we have louis putting flowers on his chest with his very own fashion line, 28 programme, and harry wearing a pair of coats in the late night talking mv where the boutonnières almost cover their entire fronts. this is - obviously - not random, but it really holds more significance than i even realised at first glance.

from the expo at the V&A museum: fashioning masculinities

history of the boutonnière

boutonnière, or flowers in the lapel of a suit/coat jacket

origin: (probably, likely) the war on roses: two neighboring houses in the north of england, fighting for the throne - wearing a red (house of lancaster) or white (house of york) rose on their chest to show off which house they belonged to

prince albert supposedly started the modern trend of the lapel flower, after queen victoria offered him flowers on their first wedding anniversary, which he subsequently put on display in his jacket. since there were photos made of the event, which was a rarity back then, the gesture spread as a trend

from then on, and especially through the years, it was a sign of a dressed-up gent. formal, masculine, and a show of love - wiki: symbol of good breeding, elegance, and sophistication

green carnation, oscar wilde:

oscar wilde, a famously queer writer, made a statement by wearing a green carnation in his lapel at the premiere of his play, Lady Windermere’s Fan, in 1892, urging his friends to do the same. it instantly became a symbol for solidarity among queer men, for men who loved other men

‘unnatural’ color for a flower:

“Blooming Haus speculates this may have been Oscar Wilde's way of poking fun at the authorities, using an unnatural green flower to mock the idea that, at the time, love between two men was seen as "unnatural.”

queerness of flowers, flowers symbolising queerness

flowers have borrowed their names and meanings to the queer community, for all sorts of nicknames or secret codes. like the slang ‘pansy’ for a gay man, which is just a little flower, or how a violet is an ancient lesbian symbol. (or how “evening botanist” is an old school term for a gay man which i think is just the funniest thing ever)

rose

love, esp love between gay men in japan

key part of identity! f.e. Pokémon character James is often shown carrying a rose, which is an established symbol in anime to signify a character is gay

lily

in japan, a popular genre of manga is known as yuri, revolving around romantic relationships between women

depictions of female genitalia

“Both the Greeks and Romans held the Lily in very high regard, including it in dozens of their religious myths and breeding the plants extensively. Alchemists considered it a lunar plant with feminine qualities, while the Lily is in high demand in China for weddings because its name sounds like the start of a phrase wishing the couple a happy union for a century.”

AND THEN WE COMBINE WHAT WE HAVE LEARNED

louis came on stage at the afhf last summer with a custom-made jersey, designed by the man himself, which was pretty much covered in flowers. a flower on his right pec, a bouquet on his left.

source

NOW what’s super interesting here, is that louis is channelling the origins of the boutonnière with the abstract flower symbol he’s adopted as the 28 official programme logo!! it’s a yorkshire rose, the emblem of his home county. AND THEN on the OTHER SIDE he’s got ROSES, a whole bouquet of them, a universal symbol of romance, as well as that of a gay man. with the added fuck-me-up detail that the fabric of the jersey is green, the typical color of a certain someone we know, making the flowers green. just like the green coronation. ok. ok.

then we have harry, who has used lilies before, in the photo shoot for the fine line cover art and booklet, where it was used to symbolise rebirth and femininity. now, in the late night talking mv, he wore the lilies on his chest, first in the museum scene, which flows into the date scene, as well as at the end, where he officiates a wedding and then falls from the sky.

it’s completely meant to fit into the tradition of the boutonnière. harry is conveying the message: i am queer, and i am wearing it proudly on my chest. it’s not subtle, is it? it’s meant as a clear symbol for those who understand, just like oscar wilde and his friends wore the green carnation. it’s so beautiful that it’s the lily on his chest, causing the flower to be a theme in his art, of rebirth and femininity.

when you look at when exactly harry is wearing the boutonnières in the mv, it’s just...?? in the museum, he’s the art exhibit. he’s wearing the lilies openly on his chest. then, he’s on a private date with a man. his napkin is even pushed to the side a little to show off the flowers in full. then, when he’s officiating a queer wedding, he’s wearing them, and then he seems to be shot from the sky by lightning, and he’s falling through the sky on his bed. WHAT DOES IT MEAN? harry’s gayness, or the way he’s shown it with messages, isn’t hidden. irl he walks around with a pride enamel pin. he’s being scrutinised, studied, and he’s still not hiding it. then he’s in private, celebrating love, and he shows it, loud and proud. it reminds me of how harry’s stated in the past that he has shown us who he is. that he’s said it in enough ways. he hides in plain sight, just like oscar wilde and his entourage. general society knew what the green flower meant, but it remained something unspoken. now, any casual observer could see that harry is at least not straight. and yet, still, you are deemed straight until stated otherwise.

so what does one do, when one can’t say it out loud? a bit of queer signalling. with flowers.

#my posts #they wear flowers on their chest #boutonnières #queer botany #that expo at the v&a changed me man #can't stop thinking about it #and now i'm very pleased i have it out here in a post #hit me with the theories about why harry is wearing the flowers in those specific scenes in the mv #i haven't sorted my own thoughts yet #but it's a start #and louis and that green fucking jersey i will never be okay

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itsscaredycat · 4 years ago

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oops im doing it i’m gushing, dnf playlist expo ahead--

heat waves - glass animals

ok this one needs no explanation lol

every other freckle - alt-j

a george pov song, major pining vibes, a bit spicy??-- “i wanna kiss you like the sun browns you / i want every other freckle”

wildflower - 5SOS

the colourblind glasses vid???-- “my wildflower” george gushing over the colours of flowers to dream dfjksfdk

all to myself - marianas trench

oooooooooof this is the jealous dream song-- “i thought you wanted me? ‘cause i want you all to myself”

jenny - studio killers

another one that’s p obvious-- “i wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead”

golden - harry styles

dream pov, he’s so in love w george-- “i can feel you take control of all i am and all i’ve ever known, loving you’s the antidote”

tangerine - glass animals

this is just a good song, maybe for an au? it gives me george pov dnf vibes--”hands knees please, tangerine, sugar honey sweet”

if it’s love - train

honestly this is SUCH a dnf song it’s gross, every line fits them so well-- “hold our cellphones up in the air and just be glad that we made it here alive / on a spinning ball in the middle of space, i love you from your toes to your face”

invisible string - taylor swift

there’s a lot of t swift songs oop dream and george are soulmates....... makes me v soft-- “isn’t it just so pretty to think, all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?”

four leaf clover - christian hudson

domestic dnf.... dream singing to george....-- “take your pressure, take your pain, feed it to the flames / we’ll lie by the fireside and whisper eachother’s names”

would you be so kind - dodie

dream pov, he’s crushin’ real bad and wants george to feel the same way-- “i know you know that i like you, but that’s not enough / so if you will, please fall in love with me”

what a man gotta do - jonas brothers

again, dream’s got it bad and wants all of george’s attention and love-- “i’d move the earth or lose a fight just to see you smile”

intentions - justin beiber (ft. quavo)

c’mon, george is pretty and dream won’t shut up about it-- “when i create you’re my muse, the kinda smile that makes the news”

magic in the hamptons - social house (ft. lil yachty)

i love this song for dnf sooo much, another dream pov definitely-- “i’m tired of lookin’ at your pictures, wanna be up in your face / i wanna dance with you, i wanna laugh, i wanna sing”

everything has changed - taylor swift (ft. ed sheeran)

george pov, dnf strangers to friends to lovers au?? yes please-- “and all i’ve seen since 18 hours ago is green eyes, freckles and your smile”

come home - birds of bellwoods

ok first of all this band is super good, highly recommend. once again, dream has it bad for george and tries to deny it, but can’t-- “i’m still trying to believe that nothing is once in a lifetime, or you’re not meant for me / but i cannot deny that every time i shut my eyes, yours is the face i see”

delicate - taylor swift

another au vibe, they are rly toeing the line of friends and lovers, and they’re afraid to admit feelings (first verse is dream pov, second is george pov)-- “is it cool that i said all that, is it chill that you’re in my head”

intertwined - dodie

such a soft and intimate song, cuddles in bed during a rainstorm, quiet whispers.....-- “i’m afraid of the things in my brain, but we can stay here and love away the fear”

sofia - clario

a classic, could be from either pov, they wanna be more than friends-- “you know i’ll do anything you ask me to, but oh my god i think i’m in love with you”

illicit affairs - taylor swift

george pov, possible au, they have to meet in secret bc of dream’s identity or something, angstyyy-- “you showed me colours you know i can’t see with anyone else”

peaches - in the valley below

road trip vibes, realizing feelings-- “we won’t live too long, so let’s love for one song”

give me love - ed sheeran

this song cuts deep, especially from dream’s pov, he wants george to love him back so bad it hurts, more angst-- “give me love like never before, ‘cause lately i’ve been craving more”

i love you - billie eilish

ending on angsty note sorry lmao, george pov, dream accidentally confesses to george, george isn’t sure what he feels, he thinks he might love him back but he doesn’t want to bc he’s afraid it will change them & their friendship-- “there’s nothing you could do or say, i can’t escape the way i love you / i don’t want to, but i love you”

sorry for the literal novel, i’m an artist not a writer so hopefully i got my ideas across ok :’3

#now you know what i listen to when i draw dnf #dreamnotfound #will anyone actually read this? who knows #but it feels good to get out the brainrot y'know #text post

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randomoranges · 3 years ago

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here we go folks, after a whole dang month working on this beast it is OVER.

33 pages and nearly 20k words later it’s DONE. idk what to do with my time now [lol what a joke] but here we go.

as they say in the vernac’ attache ta tuque a’c d’la broche à foin.

The Five Times Étienne Fell in Love

PART V

“You know we don’t have to do this,” He says. He knows this story. It’s their story after all and thankfully, he at least knows it has a better ending, but he’s not sure he wants to hear what Étienne has to say about him.

“We absolutely do, Murphy; you’re the one who brought this whole thing up.” Étienne teases softly and Edward groans, because, he has and he may as well grin and bear it.

Edward makes the mistake of turning his head a fraction and catches the last of the saddest of smiles on his friend’s face. He does his best to ignore the swooping sensation in his stomach and focuses on the bird song for a moment instead. They’ve talked over some of the finer points over the last few years. There’s no need to rehash all of it just now. Yet, he’d been the one to open the proverbial door to Pandora’s box and he supposes it is only fair to listen to whatever else it is Étienne has to tell him.

“Promise it’ll be a good ending.” Étienne ads and that at least makes him crack a smile.

“It better,” He says and jabs Étienne’s sides gently with his elbow.

“I still remember the day you showed up on a freaking canoe during Expo. I thought that was the most badass and coolest thing ever. I couldn’t believe it! I remember I kept on telling people that the guy on the canoe? He’s my really good friend! And I was also so psyched to see you!” He laughs and something warm settles in Edward’s stomach.

Expo had been one of the craziest things he’d ever witnessed in a long time and he’s glad he’d been able to participate, in some way. He does remember Étienne’s look of pure shock and amazement when he’d been there to welcome them and somehow or other, despite Étienne being more than busy during the event, he still managed to find a few spare moments to catch up with him. Plus, at the time, they didn’t see each other as often, so it had really been something for Étienne to take the time to hang out with him, even if it was while they went from one pavilion to the next.

“I always thought you were attractive, a sentiment that only grew stronger the more we saw each other throughout the twentieth century. I obviously wasn’t going to do anything – not unless you wanted me to, since you were my friend and even if you were into men, it didn’t mean you’d want to be with me.” Despite knowing this, Edward still finds his cheeks heating up at the words and he wonders if he’ll ever get used to the idea that Étienne still thinks of him as someone attractive and handsome. He likes hearing the compliments, even if he flushes furiously.

“Then you came to me – when we started reconnecting – and said that you needed an escapism. I could do that. I was more than happy to provide one, especially the kind you were looking for. At that time, I was done, really, with love. Especially with humans. It was too hard, too complicated, too messy and it hurt too damned much. I still wasn’t over Koffey and I vowed that it would never happen again. I had tried. Love just didn’t come as naturally to me as it did to others. It was fine. But I wasn’t about to get that close to humans anymore. Let my guard down and have these feelings creep up on me after months or years. Fuck that shit.”

“You know,” Edward interrupts, “You could have told me about Koffey at the time.”

Étienne lets out a bark of a laugh and looks at Edward with a quirk of his eyebrows. “Really? And told you what exactly? P.S., in case I seem more than off, it’s ‘cause the man I loved has just died and I think I’m at fault. Don’t mind me, I’m still reeling from that. Oh, and also from every shitty thing that’s happened in the last ten years, but hey, nice to see you, how’s it been?”

Edward supposes he has a point. It’s not as if he’d given any information of what had happened to him in the last decade right off the bat either. Retrospectively, however, he would have liked to know. He’s not sure what he would have done, but he knows he wouldn’t have laughed in his friend’s face. Not then and not ever.

“Anyways, you wanted sex. You wanted experiences. You wanted to go out and get fucked up. And I wanted that as well. I still needed that as well. It was easy to bring you those things. It was easier still to show you how it was done. You were a very willing student and who was I to deny you? You were the perfect distraction I needed and on top of that, you were my friend.”

“As the saying goes; misery does love company.” Edward offers.

Étienne looks at him and laughs. It’s good that, if anything else, they can more or less laugh about it now. That there are enough better days between those times and now. They’ve grown, changed and gotten better. Found better coping mechanisms.

“Plus, It helped that you’re like me – that you wouldn’t die on me no matter the drugs, no matter what we did or didn’t do. It felt like – being alive. Somehow. I didn’t have to hide anything with you. We could do what we wanted and see how far our limits would take us. It was liberating – in all its messed up ways. And I knew that no matter how many blackouts we had, no matter what it was we took, I wouldn’t lose you and I didn’t have to explain anything to you. Come the following day, you’d be alive. And that was – a relief.”

Edward takes a moment to think back to those early years as well. He’d been coming out of his own bad place and Étienne had been a – breath of fresh air, in a way. Despite the abuse of drugs and sex and everything else that had come with it, it had been liberating. He’d felt – free somehow even if he realises now that neither of them had been in a good place at the time either.

But going off to find Étienne had been his own way to rebel. The parties had been his own way of dealing with things at the time and his way of existing. For once, he felt like he could be some part of himself. That he had control over his own narrative. He may have gone the wrong way about it, but Étienne had been his own anchor, however unsteady he had been. Étienne had been a friend when it had felt like he had no others and someone who’d expanded his horizons. He’d been his point of reference and he’d returned to the proverbial well of knowledge willingly.

In a way, they’d found each other; from one fucked up mind to another. They’d relied on each other and had turned on each other as well.

Yet, despite what had happened, he doesn’t regret those years. He’d learned a lot from them and in a way, it had been the cataclysm to getting closer to Étienne.

“I never expected to fall for you. That wasn’t my plan. I was still mourning Koffey and you were my friend. At a time when it felt like I had very few of those, the last thing I wanted to do was make things complicated by falling for you. Plus, who was to say you would love someone like me? You deserved someone who’d make you happy and who could help you heal.”

Edward opens his mouth to argue the point. In his opinion, Étienne was a very good candidate to help him – more so now than before, but still. However, Étienne shakes his head and so he keeps the thought to himself and lets him proceed.

“You could have genuinely just thought of me as a friend only,” He counters and Edward quiets down – he has a point. “My other fear was that you would fall for me, and I wouldn’t and that you wouldn’t understand. There’d been too many people who’d gone down that path and it always ended in another ended relationship. I feared that even if I liked you, I wouldn’t develop those romantic feelings and that it would break your heart and end our friendship. I couldn’t have that. I always valued our friendship above all else.”

Edward wonders, not for the first time, just how many other people had entered and left Étienne’s life just because he was different. It hurt and angered him to know that so many had potentially missed out on a wonderful relationship – be it friendly or otherwise, just because he worked differently. It was their loss, really, but he hated that Étienne had had to suffer because of it.

“So I told you. Not to expect a relationship. Not to expect a romantic liaison out of it. That we were just friends having a good time. And it worked. At least, it did at first. For many years it worked. I enjoyed the time we spent together, the benders, the drugs, the parties and the sex. I liked being around you. I liked making you discover new things. I liked having you around.”

“And then I went ahead and fell in love with you.” He says with the most dramatic of sighs. Étienne spares him a glance and they give each other a look before laughing. It’s such a ridiculous story, yet it’s their story and it makes it that much more special.

“If it makes you feel any better, I went ahead and fell for you as well. So I guess we both didn’t heed your warning.” Edward gives Étienne’s hand a small squeeze and he smiles softly when his boyfriend laces their fingers together.

“Yeah, I guess it turned out alright.” He pulls him in for a one-armed hug and Edward nuzzles his face in the crook of Étienne’s neck. They stay that way for a moment, enjoying the possibility and the fact that they’re back here together and even though Edward knows how the first chapter of their relationship ended, he at least knows that they make it back together.

“It took me a while to realise that I was in love with you,” Étienne tells him gently, “But the signs were there. Those stupid signs Samuel had told me about a million years ago were all there. I felt like such a tool too – that I hadn’t realised it sooner and that of all the things my brother had told me – these were the ones I was going for.”

“Every time you’d call, I’d feel giddy. Hell, every time the phone rang, and I was expecting your call, I’d run for it, not wanting to miss the call, hoping it was you. I remember walking around in my living room, twisting the telephone cord around my fingers, an excited mess when you’d tell me you were coming back.”

Edward grins, imagining Étienne doing those things. It’s cute and endearing even and if he holds him a little closer, his boyfriend doesn’t comment on it.

“I looked forward to all our chats. I couldn’t wait to see you again. I’d even count down the days. I felt – butterflies in my stomach when I would finally see you again. Every time, without fault, I’d just want to scoop you in my arms and hold you close.”

“For your information, that’s exactly what you’ve always done, sweetheart.” He teases gently. He doesn’t remember Étienne not launching himself at him when he greets him at the airport. He likes it, deep down, even if it’s a little loud and very open – but it’s also so very Étienne and that takes precedence.

Étienne looks down to him and rolls his eyes, but it’s fond and has no bite. “I know – that’s just the thing, I thought it was normal. We were friends after all. Of course, I was excited to see you. I still do all of those things and I still count down the days to our next visit and I still get those damned butterflies in my stomach when you call or text me or when we see each other. It never fucking stopped – and, well I don’t want it to stop…”

He trails off for a moment and when Edward looks up at him, he’s happy to see that Étienne’s cheeks have coloured just the same as his.

“If it makes you feel better, I feel the same way, you know.”

Étienne presses a soft kiss to the top of his head, “Yeah, I know…”

At the time, Edward had obviously known that Étienne – liked him, as a friend, but he’d never even started to think that he could like him beyond that, or even love him. If past him could have gotten a glimpse of this very scene, he’s sure the poor fellow would have passed out cold or convinced himself it was some drug induced fantasy worthy of the greatest production of his mind theatre.

“But then it went beyond that, as if that wasn’t enough. It was the longing to hear your voice; wanting to snuggle up to you. A swooping feeling when you’d kiss me. I wanted to sit and just – spend time with you. Make you laugh. Spend the day together doing nothing. It was less about the drugs and the getting fucked up and more about you – being with you. Wanting to be with you.”

“It honest to goodness freaked me out. It felt wrong and stupid to tell you, oh by the way, guess what, I love you, d’you think we can make this work when I specifically told you not to expect a relationship?” He scoffs, annoyed. “Wish I had now.”

“Hey, you can’t feel sorry for yourself. We’re both to blame. I could have easily done something as well and I didn’t.”

“Yeah, but, you were going with what I told you. How were you supposed to know?”

“I could have been bigger about it. Or even told you and laugh it off. The point is, we both didn’t do anything about it and I don’t want you to think that you’re alone in the blame.”

Étienne lets the issue slide for the moment. He doesn’t want to argue with Edward about this, even though he feels like the bigger part of the blame rests with him. ��Still, this was the last thing I wanted to happen yet, there I was completely in love with you, and I had no way of knowing if you felt the same, nor did I want to put you in that spot. In case I did decide to tell you, I didn’t want it to be some big awkward thing. Plus, there was still so much going on for both of us – at least, I know I wasn’t any better; not mentally. Not in the long-term way, anyways. And you weren’t even out to anyone back home.”

They’ve spoken about that issue in particular. About why Étienne had kept on pestering him about it over the years. It made some sort of sense now that he knew, but at the time, it had annoyed Edward that his friend was so adamant about it. It still didn’t make it okay, but Edward had forgiven Étienne for it – they were beyond that now. (The real question was whether or not Étienne had forgiven himself.)

“Yet, the more time went by, the more my feelings for you grew and the more I wanted to try to – be a couple. Be together. Officially and really. I figured if you’d tell me something first – if you gave me a sign that this wasn’t all some construction I’d made in my head, I’d take the plunge – but you never did. And I never gave you an occasion to either. So the proverbial joke was on me.”

Edward gives Étienne’s hand a squeeze. They’d both been in bad places at the time. He doesn’t regret the step back he had taken from Étienne, for it had given him the space and place to figure himself out and grow, but he had missed him something fierce. It would have been nice to have both at the time; the boyfriend and the coming into himself. He hadn’t exactly been a fan of feeling as though everyone had abandoned him and that he was alone. It would have been nice to welcome the change of the millennium with friends and a boyfriend. But, everything happened for a reason he supposes, even if he doesn’t like said reason. And at least, somehow, things had gotten better over time. It’s already much more than many people unfortunately ever get.

“There were so many times when I nearly told you. Times when I felt you felt the same. Times when things were good. But every time, I didn’t want to ruin it and make it complicated – figured you knew and therefore, what was the point? We were good and it was all that mattered.” He sighs deeply and picks up the ball again to toss it to Mercury, who goes galloping after it.

“Retrospectively, I should’ve said something, but I didn’t and then we drifted apart after one argument too many.”

“Again, it takes two to tango. The blame isn’t yours only.” Edward reminds him. Étienne shrugs and wrestles the ball out of Mercury’s mouth before he throws it again.

It’s funny how they’ve both tried, over the years, to figure out exactly what happened to their fall out and when, but even they’re fuzzy onthe details. There’d been an argument of sorts, that much they’ve agreed on, and Edward had then returned home. They’d been busy with their own lives, at least one letter had been confirmed lost in the mail and then the years had somehow or other gone by.

It hadn’t helped that Étienne had stopped going to meetings, so running into him there had happened less frequently. No matter how many times Edward had told himself that he’d make amends at the next meeting, Étienne had never been at it. It also hadn’t helped that the more time went by, the more Edward convinced himself that Étienne had moved on and that it would be pathetic to bring up something that had happened such a long time ago.

He’d eventually assumed that with their fallout, Étienne had realised that there was nothing to him and that he’d been shelved, just like he’d always feared. It had hurt, obviously, but Edward had been dealing with bigger issues of his own back home and he’d focused his energies elsewhere. Étienne had been a far away fantasy and now that was over.

On the other hand, Étienne’s own unstable mental health had whispered dark nothings in his ear and had slowly but surely convinced him that Edward had realised that he was messed up and not worth his troubles. He’d then figured that the best course of action was to forget about Edward and move on quickly, before he made a bigger fool of himself. It had pained him, obviously, but it had been the only way.

Of course, they both realise that there’d been a better option they could have taken, but at least they can say that eventually they did reconnect and had made amends.

“When we stopped hanging out together, I honestly thought it was a temporary thing. Spending that much time together was a novelty anyways, so it didn’t really bother me. We both needed to blow off some steam and I thought for sure things would pick up again soon enough.” He shrugs, “Anyways, I was angry at you as well, so I returned to my regular thing and – put space between us.”

“I started to worry when days turned to months and then years. It was so – strange, not hearing from you. I wanted to reach out, but I was mad, hurt and petty. Too bad for you, I figured. It’s not like I needed you, I had other friends! But – it felt like I had heard more from you when you didn’t even had a proper post office than now and – it stung. A lot. I went from resenting you to thinking I had fucked up royally and that you no longer wanted anything to do with me. That messed me up even more, because now reaching out to you felt useless. You’d probably just toss me to the side and tell me to get lost.”

Edward groans and Étienne looks at him, confused. “I think it’s a fucking miracle we managed to actually get back together. I can’t believe we both thought more or less the same thing and it took us that long to – talk.”

Étienne chuckles, “We’re a special type of stupid.”

The fact that Edward agrees says a lot about the both of them.

“I thought it was better to cower away and feel sorry for myself. I tried not to dwell on it too much – tried to move on, while going through a million versions of I told you so. This is why I didn’t want to go ahead and develop feelings! Not only would I get hurt, but you would as well – one way or another, but at least, this way, you had no idea. It was better if you thought I was some heartless monster than some messed up person…”

Edward wants to once more remind his boyfriend that he is not some monster and that everyone has their own imperfections, but there’ll be time for that later. He needs to make sure that his boyfriend leaves this conversation knowing and reassured that he is not broken.

“And when I found out about you and Calvin, well that pretty much sealed the deal. You had moved on and I was not about to break that up, regardless of my feelings. I didn’t want to make things even more awkward and complicated, so I kept my mouth shut and just – played it cool; or at least tried to.”

“What a success that was,” Edward chides even though Étienne had indeed kept his distances and hadn’t brought up his feelings until much later – until after they’d reconnected and after that still.

“You know what I mean. I may have been called many things in my life, but I wasn’t about to fuck up your relationship just because I was jealous and still loved you.”

“I know, Sweetheart, I know,” Edward takes a hold of Étienne’s hand and presses a soft kiss to it. He hopes Étienne understands that he’d never thought that about him. He’s relieved when his boyfriend gives his hand a squeeze and that the bite from his voice peters off.

“It helped when I met new people. That was and is always fun. Building that initial connection, finding that first spark – what they like and what they want. It’s what makes it interesting, really, but of course, even when I hooked up with people just for sex – even when everyone was aware this was just a casual thing, there were still some who’d go ahead and say they loved me. They’d end up thinking that just because we’d meet up a second or third time that it was turning into a serious thing. I just liked their company or wanted to sleep with them again. But they never got it.”

“At some point, I even faked it. Went along with it. I thought it would be easier. They’d say they loved me, and I’d return it. It – never worked, obviously. I would get tired of pretending. It always felt fake. How could I tell someone I loved them, when they were just a casual friend to me? Or a stranger I had just met? Like, yeah, maybe eventually I would’ve felt love for them – like, with Isabella. We get along great and we certainly have fun, but it’s a casual thing to me. I can’t predict the future, but I certainly do need the time to get to that whole love thing.”

Edward had been wondering about Isabella, quite honestly. He’d heard of her, over the years, more or less, and Étienne had mentioned a few things about her, but he’d never asked. At first, afraid that his own chance with Étienne was shot and later one because he knew that Étienne loved him and therefore, that was all that mattered to him. Étienne was free to do whatever it was he wanted and if he wanted to share with him on anything, he’d be there to listen.

Still, with this conversation, he’d been hesitant to ask, afraid Étienne would think he was accusing of something. He’s quite sure he wouldn’t have minded if his boyfriend would have told him he loved Isabella, but he’s also – for the time being – relieved. He supposes he can reflect on exactly why later. There’s enough to process as it is.

“Yet, it seemed like everyone was after love and everyone equated sex with love, when those two things can be so diametrically different. For so long – for so fucking long there was barely even love in marriages. And now these people were finding love when it was only sex!” He shakes his head as if still in disbelief and Edward gets it, in parts. He’d gone after his fair share of sex only and had only wanted that. He can only begin to imagine how tricky it must have been for Étienne.

“Eventually, the other person would feel that there was something off with me. Sometimes, they confronted me about it and then would call me heartless or other such names. How could I not feel the same? They’d ask. What did I mean when I said I didn’t feel love but I didn’t mind them? I must be a monster if I only wanted sex. Christ – why the rush?! They couldn’t understand and it just made me question everything all over again. Had I ever really even loved anyone? Was I really broken? Were they right? Had I missed some great big boat where they were handing out love?”

“I got tired of that – I’m tired of that.” He sighs and passes an agitated hand through his fringe, before he tugs on a curl that Edward watches bounce back into place. He carefully reaches out for Étienne and puts a comforting hand to his knee.

“It took me so long to come to terms with the fact that no, I’m not broken.” He admits quietly, “I’m just fine the way I am and it’s okay if romantic feelings never appear, yet every time someone would bring it up, it felt like going back to square one – like I was still that same young man from so many years ago who was terrified I was made broken with missing parts. It honestly got discouraging at times. Like – hell, there’s even a word for it now! Can you believe it?!” He asks without really addressing Edward, “Demi-romantic, how’s that for fun, eh? How fan-fucking-tastic! I now have a shiny new word I can dangle in their faces. As if I needed that to prove my worth! I don’t need crap from others! And I certainly wish my brain could fully get on board with that as well!” He lights up another cigarette, mindful to let the ash fall into the ashtray Edward had dug out for him. He seems a little annoyed, still, - frantic – as if talking about this has brought up some pent up frustration and unprocessed emotions of his, and Edward gently nudges his shoulder and offers him a small smile.

“You know, even if you had never told me any of this – about you being demi-romantic, I would have never thought of you as broken. I like you the way you are – always have, really.” He knows these words can’t heal all of Étienne’s wounds and he knows they certainly can’t erase the wrongdoings of the past, but he hopes they bring Étienne some comfort, if nothing else. That if Étienne thinks the whole world doesn’t get him, that he’ll always have him. That Edward will always stand in his corner, regardless of their relationship status.

Étienne gives a sheepish sort of shrug, and takes a long drag from his smoke, before he passes it to Edward, who’s more than thankful for the hit of nicotine. “I’m sorry I went off like that – that turned into some never-ending tangent.” Étienne knows he doesn’t usually over share. In fact, it usually always takes him ages to open up, but Edward has always been his confidant and this had more or less been things he already knew. It had just been different to – verbally tell him, but if they are supposed to be more open and discuss things, he supposes this is a good way to go about it.

“Don’t apologise – I don’t mind listening to whatever it is you have to tell me, you know that, right?”

Étienne nods after a moment, “Yeah; thanks for sticking around through all of this, really. I know none of this changes how I acted towards you and what I said and didn’t say, but I’m glad you didn’t toss me under a bus after that whole debacle. I’m glad we got to be friends again and that we’re back together.”

Edward chuckles and loops an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders to pull him close, “For what it’s worth, I’m also glad we got to be friends again and that we’re back together, silly. I missed having you around.”

For the first time since this conversation has started, Edward feels as though Étienne’s smile is genuine and it settles something in him. He presses a kiss to his boyfriend’s cheeks and holds him to his chest for a moment.

“That’s it – really. I’m just – demi-romantic and was afraid you’d freak out on me, like so many others had. And after all the grief and loss from Gen to Charlotte, Nicholas and Koffey – I was afraid I’d lose you as well. So I kept quiet and – ended up regretting that even more...” He trails off for a moment and Edward feels him tighten his hold on him, “But here we are now,” He says, making his voice sound strong and stopping it from breaking. Despite everything, he’d made it. Despite everything, he’s here, with Edward and Edward still loves him and still wants him in his life.

“Here we are now.” Edward parrots back. It has to mean something. It has.

FIN

Part IV

#pc: montreal #pc: edmonton #edward murphy #étienne maisonneuve #fic #projocanondoko #IT IS OVERETH

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irondadfics · 5 years ago

Note

Hi! How are you guys? Sleeping well? Sorry to bother you with this way too especific ask, but do you know any Annie-ish Iron Dad fics? I've just been dying to read something where Peter is an orphan and he meets Tony by accident (like at the expo) and SI decides that if Tony really wants to change the direction of the company he needs better PR so he decides to take Peter to live with him for a while or sth like that. I know we should write the stories we wanna read but I'm lazy :v

Hello! We’re hanging in there, thanks for asking. :)

We’ve done some digging and found some fics that you might like!

From Fraud to Father by TonyStarkissist

“Tony,” she placated, “all you have to do is read a couple children’s books to them and answer a few of their questions. You’ll be fine.” “Will you come with me? You’re so good with kids,” he pleaded as she finished up with his collar and awkwardly patted the lapels of his suit down, forcing a smile onto her face when she looked up at him.“No. I’ve got a lot of work to do. Phil’s going with you, though, and so is Happy. You shouldn’t have a problem. They’ll make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”Theres a long pause before Tony finally voices his true concern.“But what if one of them sneezes on me?” OR: A kinda sorta Orphan Annie AU

Hard Knocks by TempestRising

Tony gets a foster kid as a PR stunt to distract from his Iron Man disasters. That foster kid is Peter Parker, who’s been kicked around the system for months. Peter is hesitant to trust a “new family” and frankly Tony is, too. Cue bonding. Cue bad foster stereotypes. Cue the Avengers taking in baby Peter. Or: Yes this is the musical Annie.

Silk Is As Strong As Iron by love_write_edit_sleep

Tony Stark only wanted to judge a High School science fair to get some good publicity to distract him from the depressive pit in his chest. Then he met Peter Parker, an orphan as Midtown High with an IQ almost as high his own.That was how Tony found himself balancing being a Foster Dad, Mentoring, and Iron Man.As it turns out, Peter is a boy of many secrets, though he’s not best at hiding them. Can Tony and Peter learn to trust each other, despite the pasts they’re trying so hard to ignore?

Publicity Parent by Bowtiez

Tony’s losing his credit with the public. Pepper’s got a plan to fix it. Enter Peter Parker, eight-year-old orphan from Queens, New York.Tony has no idea how children work, so why is he so drawn to little Peter Parker?

#au #publicity #adoption #kid!peter #fic rec list

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nothingbutfangirlsmut · 5 years ago

Text

The Girl Out of Time

Pairing: Bucky x Reader and Sam x Reader

Background: Willow Roffe was born and raised in Brooklyn. She lived her life as happily as she could with her two childhood best friends Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. When they both left her to join the military she tried to continue with life but that didn't get to happen for her for the simple fact that she meant something to James Buchanan Barnes.

Rated: Story will be over all MATURE but not every chapter. There will be strong language, talk of both mental and physical abuse, some good ole angst, and some eventual smut once the story reaches that point.

Chapter 2

I stood outside the door of the "avengers tower" as Steve had called it. The building truly was a tower. I'd never seen anything like this in my life. Steve gently pulled my hand to lead me inside. I'm sure he felt like he was dragging a child behind him. All I could do was stare. I tried to look at everything. There was just so many odd things that looked familiar yet completely foreign.

"Welcome back Captain" a pretty blonde woman said as she smiled wide at Steve.

I noticed the deep 'V' in her shirt's neckline. She was wearing a very tight and short skirt as well. My father would beat the absolute hell out of me if I even thought about wearing something like that.

Steve lead me down a small hallway that stopped at some closed metal doors. Steve pushed the lone button on the wall next to the doors. The next second the doors came open. We stepped inside letting the doors close again. It's an elevator but where's the operator? I heard Steve chuckle as he pressed one of the numbered buttons.

"It's completely self efficient now. They no longer need an operator." He smiled down at me.

"How?" I asked him.

"I'm still not entirely sure I just know technology has come a long way. A lot of things have changed."

I nodded staying quiet. I already had so many questions but I didn't want to bombard him with all of them especially since he's only been here for two years.

The metal doors opened up to a very large living space. It was so elegantly decorated. Something you'd see in a film or in a rich person's home possibly. I've never had the luxury of knowing what the finer things in life are.

"I'll introduce you to everyone." Steve smiled walking towards the small stairs leading down to the sitting area.

"Jarvis" Steve said looking up towards the ceiling.

"Yes, Captain?" An odd monotone type of voice sounded like it filled the whole room.

I didn't see anyone at all that the voice could have came from.

"Can you tell everyone to meet me in the living room please." Steve said back to the unknown voice.

"Of course" the voice answered.

"Who was that?" I asked as I stepped farther into the open room.

"Jarvis, he is an AI. Tony created him."

I turned to look at Steve. I know I looked completely confused because I felt completely confused.

"An.. AI? This Tony created a person?" I asked in bewilderment.

"I'll let him explain it." Steve chuckled.

A few minutes later as I walked around the room I heard the footsteps of a few people coming towards us. I turned around to see a small group coming down the few steps to put them in the sitting area.

"Ok, all of you guys already know about Willow but I thought I'd introduce her to all of you." Steve explained.

I walked back over to his side as the others each took a seat around the room.

"This is Natasha Romanoff also known as Black Widow." Steve gestured to the gorgeous red head in extremely tight and revealing clothing.

The woman waved and smiled.

"That's Clint Barton also known as Hawkeye." Steve pointed to the man sitting next to Natasha.

He smiled and nodded.

"The timid genius over there is Bruce Banner who is also the Hulk so I'd avoid irritating him." Steve said with a humorous smile.

Bruce looked embarrassed by what Steve said as he gave me a small smile and wave then looked anywhere but towards me.

"Lastly, this is Tony Stark." Steve barely gestured to the man standing by the counter on the other side of the room.

"Stark?" I questioned remembering that name.

"Capsicle, you forgot to tell her I'm also known as Ironman. I'm also a genius billionaire." Tony said with a cocky grin in place.

"Stark" I repeated the name.

Why can't I remember how I know that name? Wait, of course, Howard Stark. How could I forget him.

"Do you know Howard Stark by chance?" I asked him.

His face fell instantly. I knew I had struck a cord without meaning to.

"Howard was my father." He said simply.

"That's amazing! I met him a few times. My father worked with him on several occasions. He is a great man." I smiled widely.

It was an odd thing to see the son of Howard Stark standing in front of me looking the same age now as his father was the last time I had seen him.

"Well, Willow, what exactly happened to you? Do you remember anything?" Natasha asked leaning forward.

I shook my head. The last thing I remembered it was 1946 now it's suddenly 2013. I'm at a complete loss for 67 years. I should be an old woman right now or maybe even dead.

"I can show you what happened." Tony said suddenly.

"You can?" I asked excitedly.

Tony nodded as he walked to the center of the group.

"Jarvis, open the Hydra Research file." Tony ordered.

"Certainly sir" the voice answered.

Suddenly images appeared to come out of the table Tony was standing in front of. I watched as he moved his hands around which also seemed to move the images. He made one image larger. It was a newspaper article with my photo on it.

The headline read "Local Woman Still Missing After Months of Searching".

The picture was originally of myself and Steve as well as someone else it seemed. I remembered the picture partially. Steve and I were at the Stark Expo. I could see his arm draped around me in the photo but the rest of him was cut out. What I don't remember is who the other arm draped around me belonged to. I only remember being there with Steve.

Tony moved his hand and the photo changed to a moving picture. It was of the same man I met earlier. Fury. He was sitting behind a desk staring straight at me.

"Your mission is simple. This is a research Intel gathering job. You are going in to one of the former Hydra bases in the Swiss Alps. I want as much information as you can gather. We will meet at shield headquarters in 24 hours."

The picture stopped then Tony changed it again. It was another moving picture. I saw several people in head to toe black gear. Most of their faces covered. They carried large weapons. They were walking threw some kind of cave. There was odd equipment everywhere. I recognized a few things. The image seemed to change suddenly to a different area.

"What the hell is that?" I heard a man ask.

Ahead of them were some kind of chambers. There was two of them. One was open and empty while the other was closed with something over the glass to shield what was inside from view. I watched as they used tools to break the door open. It looked like a cloud of smoke that came out of the chamber. Once it cleared I felt every bit of color drain from me.

"That's me" I whispered in shock.

"What the hell?" One of the men questioned in the image.

"We need immediate extraction! I repeat immediate extraction! We found something!" A man shouted loudly.

Two men worked carefully to pick me up out of the chamber and carry me back threw the area they had come threw.

The image changed again. This time I was laying on a table. My skin looked to slowly be gaining color again. A few people in white lab jackets stood around me.

"Do you have any idea who this is yet?" One of them asked.

"I do" the voice came from somewhere unseen.

The video moved to show Fury standing in a doorway. He walked over to where I lay and looked down at me.

"This is Willow Roffe friend of our very own Steve Rogers." He stated.

"What would Hydra want with this woman?" One of the doctors asked.

"That I do not know. Not yet anyway." He seemed bothered by that.

The moving picture stopped and Tony turned to me. He waved his hand and the images disappeared.

"Any questions?" He asked.

"Yea, actually, a lot of them." I answered honestly.

---

Masterlist

#nothingbutfangirlsmut #the girl out of time #steve rogers #tony stark #natasha romanoff #clint barton #bruce banner #nick fury #bucky x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes #sam wilson #sam wilson fanfiction

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e8luhs · 5 years ago

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VIRGO.

LISTEN ON SPOTIFY.

tracklist/annotations under the cut! and make sure you check out my other astro playilsts for your moon/rising if you like this one

I. TRISTESSE/JOIE / YELLE

[sorry i dont speak french its just the vibe]

II. PLANTS / CRUMBS

don't take me down where there's no way out, no way in, the plants can't breathe down here every day there's another thing on my mind it weighs me down to the ground

III. GETTIN’ MY MOM ON / JACK STAUBER

cup in my cap, and i'ma drinka my mimosa! read “KEEP CALM CARRY ON” Poster (drivin’ the kids to the mall and back, listening to john mayer) (gettin’ my mom on)

IV. SOUND TRACK / STRFKR

[instrumental]

V. WE LAUGH INDOORS / DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE

when we laugh indoors, the blissful tones bounce off the walls and fall to the ground peel the hardwood back to let them loose from decades trapped and listen so still this city is my home, construction noise all day long and gutter punks are bumming change so i breed thicker skin and let my lustrous coat fill in

VI. AGORAPHOBIA / AUTOHEART

i am dented by the skies they keep me up at night and it’s not agoraphobia, it’s just a lack of air supply that keeps me up at night i know i’m getting older, but i’m told that i’m not momentarily out of my mind

VII. NICE HOUSE / JOYWAVE

there's a strange grown man in a creepy coat in the bathroom mirror, he knocked me down to the floor i don't know him, i don't know him there's an aging man with a narrow face he's been following me around for days i don't know him, never met him

VIII. COUGH DROPS / FOSTER PARENTS

[instrumental]

IX. SPRING AND A STORM / TALLY HALL

i wish you could have heard the music when the clouds growled overhead i finally felt enthusiastic, i finally felt alive “blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah, blah” so you said would it please you to listen to thunder instead?

X. KILLER QUEEN / QUEEN

she's a killer queen gunpowder, gelatine dynamite with a laser beam guaranteed to blow your mind anytime!

XI. OXFORD COMMA / VAMPIRE WEEKEND

why would you speak to me that way? especially when i always said that i haven't got the words for you all your diction, dripping with disdain through the pain, i always tell the truth

XII. NUMB / MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS

i feel numb most of the time lower i get the higher i'll climb and i will wonder why i got dark only to shine looking for the golden life oh, it's a reasonable sacrifice

XIII. THE BUG COLLECTOR / HALEY HEYNDERICKX

and i digress 'cause i must make you the perfect morning i try my best to scoop the slugger out the window

XIV. POISON IVY GROWS / THE SCARY JOKES

i used to spend so much time wandering around outside now i've got too much on my mind now i've got too much on my mind

XV. DRY HANDS / C418

[instrumental]

XVI. CANNIBAL / TALLY HALL

i am the willing victim of a cannibal she rips out my bones just like i'm an animal and right when i'm feeling like my blood is drained she calls it a game but the wound that she leaves is unmistakable

XVII. O MY HEART / MOTHER MOTHER

oh my heart, it's a house in tornado oh my heart, it's a house in the sky in the eye of tornado oh my heart, it's a roof in el nino oh my heart, it's a roof made of straw in the jaw of el niño

XVIII. TINDER / ORIGAMIBRO

[instrumental]

XIX. EXPO ‘86 / DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE

but if i move my place in line, i'll lose and I have waited, the anticipation's got me glued i am waiting for something to go wrong i am waiting for familiar resolve

XX. LENT / AUTOHEART

give it up, give it up give it up for lent take a break, pack it in take it out to the bin isn't it counterfeit? take a hit, a little bit wasn't it not worth it?

#astro #plylsts #*screams as i put agoraphobia by autoheart onto a playlist*

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solskinns · 5 years ago

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Gold Over the Heart

It's a simple night in the city of true perfection; even the horrors of night have no power to tarnish the beauty of the city lights from above on top of some of the tallest buildings. Such a scenery allows me to see the cars below as if they are mice or rats and my good friend Lanced-Moonlight looks down too. I believe clarification is needed though, I am the great Captain-Daylight; hero in the thriving city of Perfania though I personally want that ‘f’ to be a ‘v’ however that is me getting ahead of myself. My ability of great strength and flight has made me the hero of light. Though my friend ends up my opposite as the night's final answer wielding a lance more like a bow-staff. He sees the city that he holds so dearly to his heart.

“Look at them all, at ANY time ANY of them could end up in jail if they make even a single wrong move” He said worryingly.

“Do not fret old friend, soon we can make sure the utopia we achieved remains so” My answer became. Indeed this city couldn't be better of its painful perfection after the work of war being neutralized. What WAS here was the rubble of a broken city doomed for apocalypse upon its fallout during the 1950s and war in the 1960s! Therefore, upon the end of the war, peace had settled in at last with the help of me and my fellow men that took the call to action. Now the buildings stand taller than ever a renaissance beginning with a bigger, scattered, more functional Stonehenge towering over those who innocently roam the streets; truly, a paradise has been made in hopes of it being maintained!

It always seemed to be the alleyway, however, that was still as dark as it always was aside from the litter and graffiti that no longer marks these areas, though warning signs for innocent strangers are what fashion them now. It makes the roundup of bad guys much easier honestly.

“You know Lanced-Moonlight, such heroism is quite difficult for keeping morale amongst our public; how is it you are maintaining such popularity?” I question sitting against a wall with him holding his lance like a once warrior now king, waiting for his next challenger pridefully.

“John, must we go through with the reasoning of your failure as a hero on the daily now?” He questions back with disappointment in his tone. I could tell it was disappointment laid true considering his mention of my name and his heart seeming unwilling to mention it once more. It's also possible that he doesn't want to be here anyway.

“It has boggled my mind then and it still does NOW, so I believe it is still needed, yes” I say so a bit assertively with my kind wish for advice

He sighs defeated “Well if you MUST know, you are completely out of your league; powers of the strong with a mind for the weak” he scoffs as if disgusted and continues “Where I am able to take down the villains to the delight of our fans, YOU are criticized time and time again by your methods”

Like always, I'm shocked by the response I got “Methods? Well why woul-”

He cuts me off “Don't you see your excitement is killing your reputation for what you do?!” He blurted out of a hate for WHAT I do rather than me specifically.

I basically wait till he's done which he took as me speechless.

“They all love me because I don't bother with horrifying acts like that and they ALL have feelings that you of all people have a dark side to yourself,”

“well that goes for you too my frie-”

Once again he cut me off from my little joke “Me included…” Now THIS was a new one and worst of all, it felt like he kept that in for practically MONTHS!

He gets up from the cold low hair of concrete and brick and looks down at the alley he has been on the lookout for as his eyes narrow to a group down there, so he tries to finish our shorter of talks “I suggest that you change your acts before you get labeled a madman and get thrown in the prison, I'm sure they'd LOVE to talk to you there” he jumps down and next thing I end up hearing is the punching and even cracking of bones. Not a single scream or beg for mercy was uttered by the my old friend!

The next day, my rest in a simple mattress was rather nice; my apartment room was small with a kitchen, bathroom, and bedroom all wrapped into a nice package the size of half an attic really. I manage getting out of bed and do my daily routine of perfect hygiene, a great breakfast of eggs, bacon, and pancakes filling my nostrils and my stomach, and finally dressing up in my uniform of the white suit with the significant C in a sun as well as yellow gloves and boots for this occasion. OH, and can't forget my flowing yellow cape to fly in.

With all the essentials, I fly out the window, close it, feel the sun return my abilities in full force, and patrol the streets of a perfect city, no crowds and no trouble either. I could feel the wind flow my well cut and positioned hair as the only sounds I get to hear up here is the public enjoying their lives without a second thought. That is until I find a line decorating a single sidewalk to an expo center. Now what on earth is all this? I look for a sign on the building and oh I thought seeing Lanced-Moonlight’s daily routine of the morning. I decided to float my way slowly to the expo that would be the the most average sized building in the city.

People and even security allowed me inside without the need to wait in line. Upon arriving, it was clear as day, Lanced-Moonlight was signing autographs and selling his recent stories for all to see his work. Not to mention his merchandise flying off the shelves like a tornado took all the good products! There DOES exist my merchandise, but, like every time, it lays dormant and fully stocked. Only a select few have wandered there just because the Lanced-Moonlight stuff is long gone.

“AH, the Captain of Daylight himself” He says smiling smiling at me and getting up. His costume is visual and his navy blue suit is shown with a crescent shaped moon and stars making an L shape. He sports a scarf of pure white with only a few light gray spots here and there. Simply put, he stays my opposite in every way “HEY EVERYONE ‘GOODY-GOODY’ IS HERE TO TELL MY STORY TO YOU GUYS! Aren't you pal?” patting my shoulder with a nice grin directed to me. He also jokes with me seeming like a ‘goody-goody’ he calls it.

“Sure, I'd like to” I recite the story as I heard it for myself and how I didn't join due to me...having faith in his ability to do it alone...yeah. The audience would correct me on the violent acts he did and laugh at my cowardice as I portrayed it “and there you go, the story of another victory for the Lanced-Moonlight against the dreaded Jaded-Key” I really assumed it was the villain who could open any door through his incredible strength; it simply made sense from the voice. He segued me off to the side as to give himself more attention. It didn't matter to me though, I did what he wished and that's all I want, besides, I'm going to be late for MY meet and greet.

I fly off in the lower streets where kids usually have trouble around here and sure enough, I snatch a cat from a tree and talk to its owner about this behavior, I get a kid a brand new balloon to replace the one in the same tree as well as scold him for doing it for the seventh time this month, and even stop some roughhousing between four kids while having them make up for past mistakes. They all say the same thing “get away” “I can't talk to mean strangers” “so what old man” and my favorite “go jump on the meanie-trainy” the imaginations on these children seem to never end. It all passes by me though; I helped them and I'm okay with that. What madness it is to get that across others and to say I'm not crazy which once more, I protest still, my mind is sane and well.

I fly on down to the gray box of inescapable brick and I stand proudly in front of it, opening the doors that contain these villains all that have destroyed or stole in some way or another. I walk past every cell with names flashing by; Winged-Zapter, Professor Gulp, Sea-beast, and then Jaded Key which I stop at. There were others beyond his cell, but I don't need them now, for now it's HIM I need! I take my breath and get ready for my vile deed to the city. Delay is no longer an option. I must do this. For my city. For my people...I open the door as it creaks in the way a metal door would to see him peacefully sitting on the bed.

I smile relieved; he could escape easily with his strength and yet he sits. I take a seat on the other end of the bed as my position is to him so we can have this be done and over with“good morning, Jake, I trust you slept well today”

He smirks at my mention of his real name “better than ever, but ya kept me waiting” he responds gladly.

“Oh, well I had some delays on the way here, you know me” I chuckled.

“Yeah, hero business and what not” He says understandably.

“Now...let us talk about what happened yesterday,” this is no interrogation “how was it?” this is my horrible act that I pull every single day

“Well ya see…” he responds with how he was just fine with all the chaos that was going on. Do I regret what I do because the fans won't give me fame from what I do? Am I tricking this man? Do my acts cause pain and sorrow to those I face? Absolutely NOT! Why? Because despite the city claiming its openness to all, the people of PerVania do not see the segregation that still reigns supreme and is even SUPPORTED by the likes of the Lanced-Moonlight!

Therefore, as the only light in the dark, I believe everyone deserves a second chance...EVERYONE!

*CUT*

Coming this week; the next story concept of a perfect world trying to figure out how to remain perfect. This short story is not the real thing and Captain-Daylight as well as Lanced-Moonlight will not be this simple. Lanced will be lighter and less selfish than that while the 'bad guys' are typical villains instead of criminals. Daylight is more optimistic while also somewhat ignorant to the big picture as he only saves lives and unintentionally gain fame amongst the audience. Just as further salt on the wound, the audience is okay with all of this. No worries though, a hitman in a world where corporations are all there is has been thrusted into this world of a classic and tired formula...this is more comedy as I create it so maybe look forward to that. Until then, keep the sun shining! Buh-byye

#Painful Perfection #Superheroes #moral compass #Rights of a Hero #A pilot of sorts #Captain-Daylight #Lanced-Moonlight #Is villainy mostly mistakened?

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leftwriteb · 6 years ago

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Industry Trend: Sony Drops Out. E3 Is Dying. Maybe That's a Good Thing?

Sony has decided it won’t have a showcase at E3 in 2019. Some see this as a terrible sign. However, even with this news, the expo has been slowly dying for some time. It might seem all doom and gloom but maybe this is all a good thing? We break down why the absence of the E3 Expo may do the industry some good.

It’s been a good few months since we all settled in to watch the events of 2018's E3 event unfold. We got to see what the beloved yearly showcase had to offer us whether it was news, surprises or cringe-worthy out-of-touch presentations. That said, the event came and went and it seems to have become largely forgettable already… Why? Because E3 is a relic of the past and something that probably doesn't need to exist anymore.

There’s no denying that E3 is a great time for video games and acts as both a celebration and showcase of what games can be, and how varied our medium is. With such a variety of genres and experiences at hand, we get to show the world just how great gaming can be and how it can resonate with people of all ages and origins. Make no mistake, that kind of event is incredibly important and is something that will always be cherished by game devs and players alike. I, like many others, absolutely love E3 week. For the past few years I’ve been able to book the time off for it so I can watch it all happen live as it happens. Sure, it usually takes place in the early hours of the morning for those of us in the UK but I don’t mind; some people go to watch their favourites sports teams or their favourite bands but this was the kind of event that could truly grab my attention.

To me, games are an important part of my life. Whether it be for the escapism of visiting weird and wonderful places, the friendships forged over multiplayer or the excitement shared leading up to a new release, there was a whole host of reasons games spoke to me and with E3 having become the golden boy of gaming conventions and shows, I always do what I can to watch.

The past few years worth of shows have had their fair share of memorable moments. 2015 gave us Bethesda’s first showcase, the Final Fantasy VII Remake and Cuphead. 2016 gave us the reveal of Death Stranding, Project Scorpio and Spider-Man. 2017 gave us Metroid Prime 4, the Shadow of the Colossus remake and a trailer for Beyond Good & Evil 2. 2018’s E3 Expo, on the other hand, didn’t have anything that truly stood out for me. There were some surprises for sure but it all seemed to fade from memory within the space of a week. Some of the showcases given seemed almost pityful and lacking in content, with others arguably being dragged out longer than they should have been.

This isn’t something that’s unique to 2018’s show though; past E3 expo’s have seen an interesting shift and style as the landscape in which E3 sits becomes a more competitive one. E3 used to be the pinnacle of gaming events but that’s not the case anymore. As games have become increasingly embraced, more shows have expanded in influence and instead of having one huge blowout event to give us our news, we now have several. E3 is dying and, if you haven’t heard, Sony has recently hammered a further nail in the poor things coffin.

The news broke that Sony wasn’t planning on attending E3 2019 and that no presentation would be had either at the convention centre or elsewhere. Sony aren’t the first major player to turn their backs on E3 of course, with Nintendo opting to focus on their more polished Nintendo Direct presentations in more recent years. Presentations from the likes of Ubisoft, Square Enix and EA have been spotty at best and, to boot, PlayStation has an event of its own in the form of PSX. On top of all of this, other events are starting to step on E3’s toes. With so many events scattered throughout the year, there’s inevitably going to be a bit of a battle between them to see who can bring the biggest and best news to their own showfloors. PAX, EGX, GDC, Comic-Con, Paris Games Week, the Game Awards, Gamescom, QuakeCon, BlizzCon; everyone wants a slice of the pie. With so many shows in need of content and with only so much to go around, somebody has to draw the short straw.

One of the reasons so many events have sprung up and grown over the years is that it gives reveals a chance to breathe. Too often an announcement can be made and it is buried by bigger, better or simply more controversial news showing up immediately after. E3 is a prime example of this; with the conversation following such events always centering around a small handful of bullet-points, lesser known titles are being swept under the rug all too soon. By spreading out such things through the course of the year, it gives things a chance to hold the spotlight a little longer. What’s more, it also allows for more flexibility in release schedules; there’s often expectations attached to announcements and reveals that the content will surface within specific time frames afterwards. If you had the chance to reveal your game in January instead of June, people will instead have different preconceptions of when they will see more of the game and when it will release. A more flexible schedule allows for more flexible announcements and more flexible responses.

Why does this matter? Because game release schedules are getting more and more hectic. Just as they do within games conventions and conferences, releases are now battling it out for the best time to play their hand. Winter and Fall schedules are now home to countless big releases and all within a few weeks of each other. In years past we had Battlefield, Titanfall 2 and Call of Duty all surface within a matter of days. Both Rise of the Tomb Raider and Shadow of the Tomb Raider took considerable hits in sales because they had been forced to face off against game releases that would unfortunately outmatch them. This year alone, we learned that Anthem, Days Gone and Crackdown 3 were all going to be released on the very same day in February of 2019 - something that has thankfully changed since.

E3 is arguably the largest of those gaming showcases and is seemingly shrinking. This may well open the doors to a more varied and well-balanced schedule for the plethora of conventions spread throughout the year and, in turn, the multitude of games we get to enjoy too. A less competitive peak period would also allow for games to get the focus they deserve in periods of the year we don’t often see larger titles. Would the original Dying Light have done so well if it had released in late 2014 instead of January 2015? Would the Witcher 3 have become the enormous hit it was if it had been released in the middle of the huge Fall 2014 releases such as Destiny, Fifa and the Grand Theft Auto V rerelease?

The absence of Sony at E3 next year also presents a unique situation for those who still plan on showing up. While it can be argued that Sony’s absence may well strike a significant blow against the game industry’s annual trade show, it does free up a significant amount of space for Microsoft and Nintendo to potentially occupy. It’s the first time in the event’s 23-year history that Sony hasn’t been there but with it being one of the strongest presences at the event it could prove an opportunity for others; maybe Nintendo could return to the E3 stage in full force. It’s also foolish to deny that Microsoft struggled during the first few years of this console generation. The Xbox has certainly come along way since and is in a stronger position than ever; Microsoft has done well to introduce new policies and features into their console infrastructure that have caught peoples attention. With the host of studios they have also taken control of, they may well be able to get of to a flying start in the generation to come. With an E3 stage next year that’s more spacious than ever, both Microsoft and Nintendo have the chance to grab it with both hands and show people what they’ve got that PlayStation hasn’t. More fierce competition brings fierce change.

With PlayStation having scrapped plans for PSX this year, there’s certainly a sizeable lack of Sony within the next year or so. Maybe they want to have PSX 2019 be one huge PlayStation celebration that’s topped with a PS5-shaped cherry? Maybe Sony just doesn’t want to have to be confined by the typical structure of games media year by year? Maybe Sony simply hasn’t got much to show off next year? Whatever the case may be, the gradual withering of E3 as the industry staple is actually a sign of something bigger.

We’re now spoilt for choice. While there was once a time where we had only one event to turn to, we now have a multitude of them. There is no longer just one celebration of the medium we love so much, there is a multitude of them. Gaming isn’t that hobby people didn’t understand like it used to be. Gaming isn’t seen as the cause of troubled youth like it used to be. Gaming isn’t the niche medium it used to be. We are now at a point where gaming is something that’s just part of nearly everyone’s day to day lives. We don’t need a single celebration of our industry because it’s celebrated consistently. While the slow death of E3 is certainly a shame, it symbolises more that the industry is getting bigger and better year by year.

The death of E3 might very well change the landscape of games media and the industry as a whole but it’s been allowed to happen because changes are already underway. Gaming media has embraced the culture of YouTuber’s, Twitch Streamers and Infuencers. It’s expanded into cross-media promotions. It’s working more closely with the fanbases that follow it. Games are forming passionate communities of players. Games are becoming services that are captivating players for longer than they used to. Games as a platform and medium have changed and so to must the means used to showcase them.

Sony has dropped out of E3. They’re undoubtedly gearing up for their next console and want to make sure that it surfaces with a far share games and revelations. Looking at the release schedule for big games going forward, they seem to all be releasing in the first half of 2019 or don’t have a solid date at all. Big changes are coming for PlayStation. Big changes are coming for gaming. Big changes are coming for E3.

E3 Is dying. Maybe that's a good thing? Change can be a good thing. In the next few years we will see new consoles, new approaches to gaming experiences and new ways that developers and publishers choose to interact with their players. For a group of people that love to spend their 1-UP’s and start things over, why not let our favourite trade show do the same…

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karasunocurry · 6 years ago

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Atsukashiyama Ibun Paris report

So I’m home and I feel like I’m in a post-convention depression more that I’ve felt after recent cons xD I was kind of sad that I wasn’t at Japan Expo Paris, I didn’t actually know beforehand they’d be there ^^; and I couldn’t take days off or afford to go either way, but I’d been looking forward to the musical for an entire week (including losing sleep over it, oops). I went to Paris on Friday and met up with Edo and did some shopping for items we needed (or didn’t need but I have a backscratcher that acts as extendable Ishikirimaru prop now xD). Later met up with Mai & Katy and then had a late but well-deserved dinner at a Japanese restaurant.

Saturday I attended the fanmeet near the Louvre. It was warm and we tried to stay in the shade of the trees. Some people came in cosplay (brave! but not smart xD) and it was fun to see all the itabags gathering. I didn’t talk to that many people but it was great meeting @sohmariku and talking about Japan and subbing. There was a lot of things going on in terms of ‘what we can do for the boys’, like signing a flag, writing short messages for Kitazono Ryo and even recording video messages (which I fucked up- and once I make a mistake I’m done for xD). Took a break early in the evening because I was tired and started getting a really bad headache, but met up with a group of people for dinner, and then went to bed. For some reason, woke up way too early every day but *shrug* it must be a jiji thing.

Sunday- performance day

Aaand then it was Sunday. I’d also decided to write letters on a whim but I only ended up writing two (for Sakiyama & Ryuji) and a get well soon card for Ryo. I went to the venue around 10, to meet up with Edo and Katy again and check how everything would be organized. It appeared that goods would only be sold 45 minutes before the show. Uhm. I didn’t think too much of it at that point, but luckily Edo was very much set on getting in early for merch, so I was also pretty much in front of the line of one of the entrances. Good thing too, because the goods stand was too small and too slow to allow many people to actually get their stuff. I managed to buy bromides, the pamphlet and a penlight - decided against the DVD bc I can get it cheaper online - and after I went to the toilet, they already announced that not many more people would be able to buy goods. I went in and took my seat and was later joined by Senta, who’d never watched the musical before so it was fun to afterwards hear what she thought of it and explain some more about the connection between the swords and their former masters. I wasn’t very much at the front but had a good view on the entire stage. At first the full cast and the producer (and writer?) took the stage to explain the Kitazono Ryo’s medical condition - he’d been diagnosed with retinal detachment and was advised not to act on stage, but he could do his lines and vocals. They then called him on stage, and you could tell by his posture and face that this was a very difficult thing to do. Ryo cried through his words and could hardly speak, it was so very sad to see him like this, apologizing for not being able to be on stage. He got a big round of applause and took a spot behind the audience from where he’d act out his lines. [spoilers ahead]

The musical started off differently, with Mikazuki doing a dance - immediately making the link to Tsuwamonodomo stronger - while the ‘human’ story played out behind him. They also added that smithing song between Mikazuki and Kogitsunemaru. There were some obvious changes to the musical, but mostly subltle changes in conversations and little things added here and there. The overall flow of the story remains the same, of course, but the musical has evolved through time and you can tell that there’s improvement in all aspects (although it was always great haha). The presence of Kogi on stage was not a big problem for the course of the story, since his interaction is mostly limited to speaking to others, aside from the song he shared with Mikazuki and ofc in the group scenes, there is an empty spot, but even so his character was there. It was still sad to see everyone looking at that empty spot, but I’m just glad that at least he was allowed to and able to perform by speaking.

I love the scenes with Benkei and Iwatooshi - let’s be honest, Iwatooshi is the new guy at the citadel in this piece and he’s so fucking strong, bless him. Just like his former master, he’s a good man with a strong sense of duty and good intuition. And his doubt and resolve are played out very well. Araki Kentaro is also great as Yoshitsune, in every performance he’s been able to express the duality between human Yoshitsune and possessed Yoshitsune very well.

I also think everyone grew in their respective characters and the singing was also better than before. Everyone’s performance was outstanding. Mikazuki’s elegance, Iwatooshi’s strength, Ishikirimaru’s protectiveness, Kashuu’s vigor, Imanotsurugi’s enery and Kogi’s empathy, it was all there. I just love how these characters influence each other. At the end, the fighting got more intense than it was before, adding some dramatic despair that I don’t think I felt before during that scene, and I don’t think anyone would ever complain about Daichi’s bare back :) The Idol Live part was all new!! Surprisingly, I wasn’t expecting that and as people later pointed out, it was nowhere hinted at either - no idol outfit bromides for us yet, but I’d love to get those!.I love the new outfits, they were very nicely coordinated, the original character colours were used very well, and the jackets with connecting lines look so fabulous <3 The songs were also very good! Very upbeat and catchy and boi the dance moves!! I was really impressed and as Ishikirimaru fan I’ve been eyeing Sakiyama most of the time - hard to ignore his tight pants and smooth moves xD I have a vague feeling they also gave him more center stage time? His popularity has climbed since the first Atsukashiyama run so I guess they might take that into consideration? It made me happy to see that they looked like they were having a lot of fun, despite everything, that they were giving their all in a foreign country, and by the amount of pen lights and different colours, everyone had fans and I hope they felt our love~

They also kept up with the misogi tradition where someone has to say a line in repsonse to a given situation. Mikazuki got picked and instead of giving us a line, he had to flash his back, this kinky mofo. Mario ma boy you know what you’re about don’t you. <3 At the end they all presented themselves in French (v cute baww), aaand it ended with otokomichi as usual but that entire song/act is just A+++, it’s such a motivating song. Everyone looked happy. They got a lot of applause, a standing ovation WELL DESERVED and in the end, all pen lights turned yellow to wave at Ryo as he left his spot. I hope he got some strenth and courage from it, and felt less burdened. I went out... Edo and Katy went to the evening performance too. I was thinking of just hanging around or maybe going to the hotel but - France had just won the world cup and Paris had exploded into a chaotic soccer mess that I wanted no part of - so I bought a rank 2 ticket and went in again. (yolo is a thing, this might well be the only time to ever see a toumyu live) Things about seeing it twice: - Ryozono had regained his composure. I think that the successful afternoon performance and the fan’s reactions had made him feel at least less worried. He apologized this time with a strong and confident voice. Bless him. - There was a scene where Ishi wanted to draw Kashuu’s portrait (ref to Mihotose), but he forgot his pen xD He glossed it over real smooth. GJ Sakiyama <3 - It was misogi time for Ishikirimaru!! I may have screamed. I wish I’d remembered exactly what he said but it was about hugging, I think my brain just melted hence the bad memory. ^^;;;

- For the idol performance we took different seats at the side to see the actors from closer by.<3 - Sadly there were a lot of empty seats for the evening performance. It would’ve been hard to get home when the musical was over so I understand but I also think they should have done a better job at promoting the entire event. It’s alway been hard to get information, most of it had been translated by fans from the official Japanese site. People came from all over Europe and more people would come if you’d done proper promotion beforehand. Uhm... I think that’s it. It was great. I had an amazing time with the people I was with and talked to and I wish I’d been there today as well to talk about it even more but HMU ok.

Can I just say I’m into hell even deeper now? That I fucking love Tsubasa? But also Daichi? But also Mario? Actually EVERYONE??? I’m really really really happy I decided to go, best decision, kill me now (but I’m already dead), I haven’t been able to think of anything else and I’m definitely not ready to go to work tomorrow. I hope this does still open doors to more (tourabu) musicals and/or stage plays to come to Europe. It’s very niche but it’s still a growing fandom. I’m more motivated again to do some subbing to spread the love for the stages/musicals that I like and hope people will join us in this hell and start supporting the boys and their work.

more random stuff on twitter

#musical touken ranbu in paris #atsukashiyama ibun paris #toumyu paris #toumyu atsukashiyama ibun #report #musical touken ranbu #toumyu

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aaronsteinbeck · 3 years ago

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dorevenge · 3 years ago

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where ignorance is bliss - chapter 11: without the hurt

SUMMARY: Maria and Tony are decorating for the holidays while Howard is still tied up with work. [AO3 LINK]

CHAPTERS: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 [11] 12 13 14 15 ☆

December 19, 1973 – Manhattan, New York, Stark Manor

“Mama, Jarvis needs a stocking!”

Three green and red striped stockings hang from the fireplace, with “Tony”, “Howard”, and “Maria” printed on them in gold, glittery cursive. They’re accompanied with plastic pine wreaths that shed everywhere and decades-old unopened candy canes. All the decorations smell faintly of dust and abandonment.

“You think so, Bubba?” I reply to Tony. The mantelpiece does look a little empty with just the three of us. It’s a reflection of how big our home is and how little of it we fill up.

“It’s okay. I’ll make it, Mama.” I admire Tony’s independence, already thinking more for himself than I ever did.

Dozens of totes are spread out around us in the living room, dug out of the second garage, in the middle of the process of decorating for Christmas. We normally start the festivities on December first, but Tony insisted we wait for Howard to decorate, and Howard insisted he stay late every night to finish the reactor and whatever new project has his attention. Howard is home, for once, but he’s locked himself in his office, stating he has to finish this tonight while he’s thinking about it.

Tony rips the lids off one of the totes and starts pulling everything out one by one, tossing various ribbons and ornaments behind him.

“Tony, honey, what are you looking for?” I grab what he’s just taken out and put it back in its place, catching his hands before he can throw more out.

“Jarvis’s stocking!”

“They’re in this box over here, Bubba. We have to write his name on it first, nice and neat so Santa can read it. Let me help you.”

“I can write it, Mama. Let me do it.”

I spread newspaper underneath the stocking and the glitter glue, so Edwin’s gift doesn’t turn into another chore for him. I write out “JARVIS” several times on the newspaper for Tony to practice tracing before putting on the real thing. Like everything else he tries his hand at, Tony knocks it out of the park on the first try (he’s already graduated from picture books), and he prints the name on the stocking.

“Good job, Bubba. Where should we put it?” I ask Tony once it’s dried.

“Here! Next to mine.”

We hang Edwin’s stocking on the mantel and continue decorating, setting up the Nativity on the piano next. I hang the ornaments up on the higher part of the tree, and Tony helps where he can reach, and we save the star topper for last for when Howard finally joins us. It’s starting to come together nicely. One of the glass balls slips from Tony’s short, round fingers with a loud “uh-oh!”, and Edwin comes running in.

“Just a decoration, Edwin. No injuries here,” I say. He returns a moment later with a broom and dustpan. Before he can leave again-

“Jarvis, look! Jarvis, c’mere!” Tony’s voice reaches a high note, joined with a burst of giggles. He gives Edwin’s calves a tight hug, before tugging on his hand and leading him to the mantel. “Look, it’s for you! Next to me. Mama and I made you a stocking because you’re my best friend and you’re right next to be. ‘Cause you’ll always be right next to me.”

“That’s very thoughtful of you, Master Tony.” Always the proper British butler, I think I see Edwin fight back tears. “Did you and your mother have a good time decorating?” The boxes are nearly empty now. I set the empty totes aside to take back to the garage later this evening. To think we’ll have to put everything away again in just a couple weeks.

Tony’s too distracted to answer his question. “Jarvis, I want a puppy for Christmas.”

Edwin and I both laugh.

“I believe it’s a bit too late to file that request with Mr. Claus, Master Tony. Could I interest you with a nap instead, perhaps?”

“No!” Tony takes off down the hall, Edwin along with him, and I realize they’re headed towards Howard’s office.

“Tony, not in there!” I run after him.

He’s faster than both of us, and he’s just tall enough to reach the handle to pull open the door to the office. Tony lets himself in.

The smell of cigars and bourbon pours out of the room in waves.

“Everything is achievable through technology,” Howard begins, having spent the last week going over his lines, sometimes even in his sleep. At this point, I can recite the script he’s written for himself from memory. “Better living, robust health, and, for the first time in human history, the possibility of world peace.” Tony sneaks into the room, just out of frame, ducking under Howard’s Stark Expo model for next year, sprinkled with tiny trees and miniature buildings. Edwin and I stand just behind the doorway, ready to run in and grab him if need be, not wanting to ruin the take.

Howard continues on with the scene, introducing himself, going again and again ‘til his delivery is satisfactory. Always the perfectionist. Tony’s head pops up and, before anyone can stop him, picks up the model arc reactor. Howard sees him out of the corner of his eyes and whips around.

“What is that? Put it back where you got it from. Where’s your mother? Maria!” I step into the office, where on the other side of the room I find a whole production team. A bulky camera sits in front of the model, with our friends Barney and Johnny, the reel still running. One of them yells cut and stops the camera. A small bronze plague on the model reads “The key to the future is here.”

I scoop Tony into my arms, he tries to fight me, wiggling with all his might and calling for his father, but I hand him off to Edwin, standing by, where he instantly becomes more compliant. Edwin promises him some applesauce on their way out of the room.

“Maria,” Howard says raggedly. “I told you we were working in here, and that we were not to be disturbed.”

“We both tried to run after him, and you’ve been at this all day,” I sigh. “You know there’s no stopping Tony once he puts his mind to something, and right now he just wants to spend time with his father. Would it kill you to put this aside for the holiday and do something with him?” I don’t blame Tony for barging in; I miss Howard just as much as he does, even when he is home.

“Everything I do is for him, Maria!” Howard has never yelled at me before. We’ve fought plenty of times, countless disagreements, but never before has he raised his voice at me. Never before has he drunk so frequently, either. “He’s the future. Everything I’m building is a foundation for him to build upon. I’ll never get this fucking reactor to work, I know it, Obadiah knows it, everyone at Stark Industries knows it. Hell, Anton knew it, too. It’s pointless, but I know he will.” Howard points in the direction that Edwin and Tony left. “Tony is the best thing I’ve ever made. Nothing else will ever compare to him. That’s why I’m hard on him.”

“He’s three, Howard.”

“He’s three now, but he’s my legacy. He won’t always be three, and that’s why I’m starting now. Down the road, I don’t want him to be slacking off, wasting his potential. I push him because I know he can make it there. He’ll be better than all of us.”

“And that’s fine for down the road,” I say, taking the glass of bourbon from his hand and setting it on a grassy knoll on the model. “But right now, he needs his dad, and he needs you to pay attention to him. This legacy, the money, the future, even Stark Industries, it will all mean nothing to him if he doesn’t have a relationship with you.”

Howard hangs his head. “This is the most important thing I’ve ever done, Maria,” he says, pointing to the model. He places his hands on my hips and pulls me in, resting his forehead on y shoulder.

I shake my head, dejected, and take a step back. “You’re right; he won’t always be three. Soon enough he’ll be a jaded teenager who thinks you prefer your machines and trinkets to him. When he leaves for college, he won’t ever come back. We’re both going to lose him because of you. You know, you can be a better father than your father was to you.”

Howard doesn’t look at me. He takes a moment, before kissing me on the cheek. “Goodnight, Maria.” Angry, I turn around and leave. The two Starks in my life are the most stubborn people I know. There’s just no changing their mind once they decide they’re right, no matter who they may hurt in the process.

“Barney, let’s do another take. Just keep it rolling, shoot some b-roll. Ahem. Tony, you’re too young to understand this right now…” I hear him trail off as I leave, feeling defeated and trying not to cry. I go to Tony’s room, where he’s tucked in and passed out. Edwin can speak to him like no one else can; their relationship is unique, and I’m glad that even though Tony might not have Howard, he’ll always have his Jarvis. I sit in the rocking chair beside his bed for a just a moment, admiring him now that’s he’s quiet and in one place for once. His dark brown hair curls around his ears, his long eyelashes casting small shadows on his round cheeks. As I fall asleep, I hear Howard’s voice, echoing in from down the hall.

“What is and always will be, my great creation…”

Notes: Parts of scene from “Iron Man 2”, where Howard films the intro for the 1974 Stark Expo https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reQs3g5LO8E

#where ignorance is bliss #wiib reading #iron man 2 #agent carter #tony stark #marvel #fanfiction #canary writes a fanfiction

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shirtlesssammy · 7 years ago

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10x08: Hibbing 911

Ah, the episode that planted the seeds for a movement. So happy to be recapping Dodio this week!

Now:

In Hibbing, Minnesota, a tagger artist preps to spray paint smiley faces on an alley wall. He hears a noise, but continues with his task. He’s suddenly attacked from behind, and beaten to the point where his blood flies out of him and on to the wall. Impressive! And stylishly cool, show.

After the title card, our fearless leader, Jody, finds herself at a sheriff’s retreat in Hibbing. “You can do this,” she encourages herself before taking the plunge to socialize. #relatable She runs into a bohemian homeless-chic young lady in the parking lot and gives her some lunch money, before heading inside to her doom.

Once inside, she’s greeted by the ball of sunshine herself, Donna Hanscum. Donna is 100% rolling out the welcome wagon for our reluctant sheriff, and she let’s Jody know she grew up here and knows all the town’s ins and outs.

Donna’s EXTREMELY UNLIKEABLE ex-husband Doug decides to make an appearance. His insults towards Donna do not endear him to Jody. Her face is priceless. (Also, petition for the show to not make weight loss/fat jokes for Donna this season and in Wayward? Plz and Thx.)

At the bunker, Sam and Dean continue to search for a cure for the Mark of Cain. (Also, I’m side-eyeing some of the titles of books the Men of Letters have.)

The sheriff’s retreat kicks off with one very awkward Sheriff Len Cuse announcing Partners! for the duration of the retreat. Jody’s busy checking in with Alex so she misses out on partnering up --but that’s ok, so did Donna. Looks like they’re stuck with each other!

Another sheriff asks Donna if she “heard about the body?”, piquing Jody’s hunter interest. Donna assures her that this is very uncommon.

Jody heads off alone to make a call to Sam. Some minor clunky exposition ensues where Jody finds out Dean’s back, and mostly normal. She then tells them about the case, and Dean offers their assistance. Jody declines. Jam flirtations intensify. Dean’s going stir crazy though so the boys head to Hibbing.

Jody tries to make inroads on the case by examining the body, but is rebuffed by the morgue attendant. Donna arrives and makes nice with Shelly, and the two are quickly ushered over to take a look at the victim. Donna can’t make heads or tails of the bite pattern on the vic. Jody quips, “I was afraid of that.” But keeps Donna in the dark about what she suspects.

Meanwhile that night, secret smoker Howie takes the trash out, and ends up Hibbing’s next mysterious victim.

At the retreat, Donna and Jody start asking Sheriff Cuse about the case, but he’s interrupted by Deputy Graham. They have an issue with “the raffle.” They take off, and it’s then that Donna notices Doug the Dick flirting and dancing with another woman. She exits so she doesn’t have to witness the gross. Jody heads off to pester Len again. He admits there’s been another attack. Jody’s on Hunter High Alert.

She makes a check-in call to Alex, and this episode is kind of hilarious when it comes to her interactions with Alex. Alex is painted as a total hellion that Jody can barely control, but that’s just not the Alex we met in Alex Annie… or in any other episode. I know it’s in the show, so it’s not out of character.I just have to accept that Alex went through a brief phase of adjustment. Donna catches the phone call, and calls Jody out on her less than perfect homelife. Jody admits there was another attack. Then they proceed to have a conversation about Alex and teens and I’m still baffled about it all. Alex isn’t a normal teen? Approaching it simply from Jody’s point of view --connecting with a teenager that she didn’t raise, etc. --does help. I think in many ways Jody had slammed the door shut on any domestic home life for a long time. Suddenly she’s in charge of someone, and that alone is a struggle --it’s extra fun when she’s an ex-blood slave to vampires.

The next morning, the boys pull up to the sheriff’s retreat.

For science:

They share notes with Jody. It seems that both victims were missing leather items. Donna arrives with coffee for her new BFF, and recognizes “Agent Frehley” and “Agent Criss”. (Boy, I hope they used the same names! I wonder if they use names regionally?)

They make small talk, but in order to keep Donna in the dark about the supernatural, Jody agrees to distract her while the brothers investigate.

Dean and Sam head off to talk to the sheriff...(four men raise their hands)...of Hibbing. Sheriff Len gives them an update on the “animal attacks” while everyone whips out their dicks and measures them right there in the hotel lobby.

Sam wants surveillance video of the attacks but the Sheriff denies there’s any record of it. Meanwhile, the deputy sips his coffee...shiftily. After the flock (herd? flight?) of sheriffs departs, Sam heads off to crack the police evidence database while Dean decides to crack the deputy. (Note to self: Mind out of the gutter Mind OUT OF THE GUTTER failed)

Classic dialogue alert:

Dean: This badge means something.

Sam: I made it at Kinkos.

Dean: Yeah, you did. Be proud of that.

Meanwhile Jody and Donna tour the expo and end up next to a firearms dealer. He tries to sell them a small handgun so they can be armed while they have their nails done.

The two sheriffs exchange a LOOK and proceed to display their weapons knowledge and prowess about a larger gun on display. “Ten pounds pull weight. Cute,” Donna notes.

“Call this a big one? Hope you drive a porsche,” Jody says. Boom DEAD.

Donna’s douche ex husband Doug strolls up and calls Donna a wolf in sheepskin. “Thank you,” Donna replies, adorably. “Wolves are majestic creatures.” Doug proceeds to rip Donna about her weight again, asking why she’s not out on the prowl herself.

Donna tries to laugh it off (while we stop paying attention to the episode so we can start plotting an elaborate “Goodbye Earl” death for Doug). Jody’s had enough. She asks Doug what his problem is, calls him a douche, and off he goes. Donna is understandably pissed about this because, even as we all get Jody’s motivation, she’s also made things harder for Donna. “‘Til you’ve actually lost a husband, you keep your mouth zipped about mine.” Jody suffers a bloody flashback from this, remembering how she found her son eating her husband. UUUUGH (Me: Gives Jody a hug and a warm blanket and a bunny.) Donna notices the dead look on Jody’s face and apologizes quickly, then heads outside to get some air.

Meanwhile, Dean circles around to the deputy and schmoozes him over. The deputy admits that the password on the surveillance server was changed by the sheriff a day ago.

Armed with information about the suspicious sheriff, we cut to Donna. She’s outside when she notices a blood trail. She follows it to find Sheriff Len busting out in fangs and crouching over the body of the pretty young Sheriff Goodhill. (Me: The one part of this episode I didn’t like because I felt like that sheriff was being punished for going out on a date with our protagonist’s ex.)

Jody checks in on Dean, asking how he’s been doing since she heard he took off a while ago. God, I love how Jody takes the time to care about her friend. JODY you are the best. Sam tells them the surveillance videos were deleted and we think we’re at a dead end when Donna runs up. She pulls Jody aside.

Jody immediately apologizes for butting in but Donna is one billion percent past this. “You ever think there are things out there? Things that don’t end up in the police blotter?” She tells Jody about the fanged sheriff. Jody believes her immediately. Donna quickly recalls which room the sheriff booked at the hotel because she is my very favorite sunflower.

Jody and Donna bust into the sheriff’s room. There’s sunscreen on the bed (heh heh vamps) and Donna scribbles out the tracings of a note on the bedside table. It’s an address.The door rattles and Jody whips out a machete. It’s the Winchesters! Hey, buddies. Donna learns quickly that the sheriff is a vampire when Jody drops this fact like a dead potato (shut up, that’s totally a popular phrase).

“You wanna give her the talk?” Dean asks Jody. Well, sure I do, pardner.

After “The Talk” they all head outside. “Heck,” Donna says. “When we were at the weight loss spa?”

“Monsters,” Dean says. “Suckin’ on your fat.”

Dean. Bean. Just...sigh.

Anyway, they’ve got an address now and it’s time to head out. Dean tries to get Donna to stay at the retreat. DEAN. BEAN. >:( But Donna and Jody insist.

The farmhouse is indeed old and creepy and mist covers the ground. Dean pulls out machetes for everyone (YAY) and tells Donna that she’s gotta chop of the head of the vamp. She takes this in totally calmly because she’s Donna Fucking Hanscum.

Sheriff Vampire pops up and tells Sam to run but a vampire gang’s already got everyone else. They knock out Sam and Dean and hold Jody and Donna hostage. Everyone gets tied up in the barn.

Hippie Vampire runs her hand longingly down Dean (get mind out of gutter get mind out of GUTTER) and tells him they’re going to use “every part of the buffalo.” Sheriff Vampire tells the hippie that he doesn’t kill people anymore. In fact, he stood over Sheriff Goodhill and vamped out over her blood, but didn’t bite.

“A vampire that doesn’t feed is like a tiger eating salad,” the vampires explain. (So...like Sam, amirite?) It’s a nature v. nurture argument and they’re going to destroy Hibbing until Sheriff Vampire goes back to the nest. They only found the sheriff because he got his photo in the paper from running a police retreat. “You didn’t just go straight. You became a damn cop. Now THAT is wild, man.”

Len and the hippies (the worst band name) chat while the hunters all saw at their ropes. The hippies try to force Len to kill the trapped hunters but he refuses, so Hippie Vampire chops his head off. Just then Dean busts free and starts to fight the vamps. Sam and Jody do what they can while still tied up when suddenly Hippie Vampire hisses at Jody, ready to chomp her. WHAM SLICE Donna chops her head right off.

“Hakuna matata, Lady,” Donna says. We all jump up and cheer shouting BEST CHARACTER EVER.

Outside everyone checks in with each other. Donna feels sick about chopping off her first head but she’s still standing. Jody and Donna MEGA BOND over it.

Dean and Sam check in with each other because oh yeah, this isn’t Wayward yet. Dean admits that for the first time since he got back he doesn’t feel like the Mark of Cain is pushing him to do things. Sam raises his brow at this because MY DUDE that’s a long time of pretending everything is fine.

“Knowing that these things are out there makes the world seem...I don’t know...bigger, darker,” Donna says. Jody offers to keep Donna apprised of how to fight monsters and they all head off to their lives while Dean rubs the arm with the Mark in a totally normal, not-suspicious manner.

What the Quotes?

You are true blue as ever, Donna.

I love the smell of parchment in the morning.

She smokes grass under the bleachers but at least she’s not luring men to their deaths.

Oh, pal, the FBI doesn’t do cute.

What the cuss? A vampire?

I’m sure it was all kombucha and kumbaya.

Are you feeling dirty, Len? ‘Cause we’re about to have a bloodbath.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #spn picspam #spn 10x08 #hibbing 911 #wayward sisters #jody mills #donna hanscum #dean winchester #sam winchester #supernatural season 10 #spn rewatch

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