#that excitement will go out in week 3 tops
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sugar, sugar | v.a
summary: on a slow day at your grandmother’s bakery, a customer captures your attention. as the weeks pass, you see her pop up more and more. a gentle friendship ignites between the two of you. the only issue was the undeniable attraction to her and it didn’t help now having to do her a kind favor. it would go away…. right?
pairing: fem!reader x vi arcane
contains: modern!au, kick-boxer!vi, reader is described to have long enough hair to tie up, reader has a sister named mila, we love gram, vander, isha and jinx mentions <3, nothing but fluff, strangers to friends to lovers:)
word count: 3.5K
a/n: i seriously had so much fun writing this and i am excited to dig into a mini-series with vi. i hope everyone enjoys this as much as i do </3
— ONE
Running your grandmother’s bakery wasn’t easy but it was a light in your life. She taught you tips and tricks of working the large industrial oven, every single one of her recipes, and wiping down the chalkboard to write the specials for the delicious treats.
She was charm personified; somehow able to convince pretty much every person that walked to the pastry shop to try at least one item. You were on the more quiet side, not insanely secluded but you weren’t extroverted. Nice people cracked you open and next thing you knew it, you were shoving a donut into their palms to take home.
It was a bad habit.
It was a slow Thursday in November. You were sweeping the small area of seating, softly asking one of the usual college students that came if they needed anything else. You were just a few streets down from the community college so many people your age would come in for coffee and furiously type on their laptops.
Once you were told they were good for now, you excuse yourself back to behind the counter to adjust the display desserts. You were bent over when you heard the bell over the door echo within the space, shouting ‘welcome in’.
“If you have any questions, just let me know. We have a daily special which is on the blackboard,” you stood back up with a slight grunt from the rush, brushing a few flyaways to kindly smile at the new customer. “Today we have buy one, get one donut free.”
Your eyes slightly widen at the… attractiveness of the customer. You adjust the neckline of your soft brown cable knit sweater to tug out your necklaces, plastering on a friendly smile.
“I actually came in because I was curious about the sign,” she trails off, tilting her head as she shoves her hands into the pockets of her jacket. “Do you actually just let people smell the food?”
You let out a soft chuckle as you nod. Your grandfather, one of the only men who had ever tolerated, made the sign for your grandmother the second she mentioned it to him. Now, in all its carved glory ‘Free Smells!’ is hanging underneath the shop's main sign: Sweet Tooth Bakery + Cafe.
“Yeah, my grandma thought it’d be a funny sign to draw people in. Obviously, we don’t let them shove their nose into it or anything,” you shake your head, holding your hand out to the stranger. “Because that’s… unsanitary.”
The pink haired stranger nods with a soft chuckle, stepping back to check out the arrangement of treats in the display case. In that moment of silence, you, as discreetly as possible, check her out. She had on a navy blue cut off sleeve zip-up, a soft white tank top underneath and a pair of grey sweatpants hugging her lower half. Very simplistic outfit but she made it look good.
You think she just naturally looked good. If you stared for long enough, which you embarrassingly did so, you could see markings of ink on the side of her neck and following down the backs of her arms and the smallest etching on her cheek.
“Any suggestions on what to smell first?” She questions, curious eyes bouncing back up to you.
You hum to yourself as you, too, stagger your eyes from pastry to pastry to carefully choose which one you could have her smell.
“Are you a fan of blueberries?” You question with a beaming grin.
“Uh, sure, yeah. Blueberries are good.”
“Then you have to take a whiff of the blueberry danish. It’s one of my favorites.” You offer, pointing to the sweet treat.
The pink haired stranger leans forward, folding her bare arms across her chest. You, again, can’t help your stares as you try to figure out what was exactly dotted into her pale skin. She nods with a shrug, looking at you with a kind smile.
“I’ll give it a whiff, yeah,” she stepped forward so that the glass of the display case was the only obstacle between the two of you.
You can feel your face getting hot as you mutter a bright ‘okay’ to yourself. You bend over once again grab the metal tongs to pick out the danish to place on a ceramic plate. You place it on top of the display case, motioning for the stranger to give it a smell.
Still seeming a bit hesitant that you were playing a joke on her, she leans her face forward so that she is mere centimeters away from the pastry. She inhales a bit, letting out a long sigh as she leans back to look at you.
“Shit, that smells amazing,” she praises the sweet aroma, nodding in satisfaction. “I’ll take it.”
You blink at her before chuckling awkwardly.
“You don’t have to buy the ones you smell. I promise.” You reassure her as you attempt to put the danish back so that you can shove the cranberry-orange muffin in her face.
She’s quick to hold a palm out to stop you, shaking her head. A beautiful smile spreads on her lips, temporarily forgetting how eager you were to show her every single pastry on display.
“I want that one. I swear. Plus, my sister’s going to rush me out of here if I take too long.”
A part of you was disappointed that she was so quick to purchase the first, yet incredibly delicious, treat. You selfishly wanted her to stay for as long as possible. Your grandmother would be on your ass for being so distracted by an attractive customer.
She would give you a clap on the back for making a sale, though.
“Oh, okay. Did your sister want anything?” You offer, itching to find any way possible for her to stay just a bit longer.
The stranger hums to herself for a moment as she examines the rest of the delicious treats. You tilt your head as you grab a small brown paper bag to place the danish into, waiting patiently to see if she was going to pick another item.
To your delighted surprise, she nods as she points to a more simplistic pastry.
“I think this pink donut should be good,” she nods to show certainty.
You grasp onto the sweet treat to slide it into the bag with her danish, trying not to spill a lot of the sprinkles. You seal it closed with a custom sticker with the logo of the shop, typing up her total into the register. The stranger reaches into her sweatpants pocket to pull out her wallet.
“Your total is gonna be $7.89. Cash or card?” You question.
“Card.”
You watch her hand you a simple light blue credit card, grinning as you not-so-discreetly check out her full name on it. Her first name caught your attention. Violet. As you swipe her card, you clear your throat to work up the courage to give her a compliment.
“I love your name. It’s pretty,” you say as you hand her back the card.
The stranger, now known as Violet, smiles small at your words. Her long fingers take the card from you as she slides it back into her wallet.
“Thank you. My, uh, dad named me,” she grins at you.
“Well, he made a very good choice,” you hand her the bag as well, nodding as you try not to appear awkward. “Anything else I can get for you?”
Were you being weird?
“No, no, I’m good,” she chuckles as she crinkles the bag in her palms. “I’ll see you around, yeah?”
You nod as you hand her own copy of the receipt, holding onto the half second of the tip of her fingers brushing against yours. You watch her turn her back and leave the shop, eyes never leaving her sculpted back profile. You huff at your behavior once the bell from above the door snaps you out of your small trance, shoving your copy of the receipt into its designated spot.
“She’s cute,” you hear from behind you, causing you to jump and whip your head around.
You’re met with your grandma grinning evilly at you, a little bit of flour smudged on her cheek from her baking in the back.
“Gram,” you sigh as you shake your head, brushing away your loose hairs.
“I’m just saying, bug,” she walks up next to you to rub up and down your arm.
You blush at what she was insinuating. As much as you love your grandmother, she attempted to be your match maker like you were an introverted middle schooler. You were 22 for God's sake. You would make moves and flirt when you felt like it.
“Don’t you have something in the oven?” You raise your eyebrows at her, hoping she’d leave it alone.
“Hey. I could fire you, you know,” your grandma pointed a finger in your face accusingly but her tone was light and a cheeky grin was on her face.
You roll your eyes playfully as you softly bump your hip with hers.
Everyday since Violet came in, you perk at the sound of the bell hoping to see that head of pink hair waltzing in again. Two excruciatingly long weeks pass before you see Violet again.
What was disappointing about seeing her today of all days was that you were working this shift with your 17 year old sister who was… less than thrilled to be working now; especially with you being her superior in a workplace. She, like most teenagers, was yearning to be more independent which meant constantly disregarding your instructions on what to do at work.
You were irritated beyond belief with her constantly arguing with you. You couldn’t even really fully pay attention as Mila smacked your arm with the rag. When you saw her from outside the shop, this time around she came with company. You were in the midst of a bicker with her because she didn’t wipe down a table like you had told her to when you saw Violet coming in with a little girl walking beside her.
You gasp at her childish antics, pinching her arm but then shushing her as you tight-lipped smile at Violet as she approaches the familiar display case. You try not to frown at the sight of her bandaged nose and small bruise sitting right on the apple of her cheek. Her outfit is similar from the last time you saw her except a simple oil-black hoodie with those same joggers. You even saw a bit of wrapped bandages on her hands peeking out from the sleeves.
Was she jumped or something?
“There are only, like, two people here and they’re sitting outside,” your sister whisper-shouts at you, plastering on a fake smile at the new customers. “Hi! Welcome in.”
Violet glances at Mila when she straightens her back, placing a gentle hand on the back of the child’s back to guide her to the display of new and fresh treats for the day. She places her little hands on the glass as she very eagerly bounces on the soles of her worn in dark blue tennis shoes.
“Hi! Violet, you’re back.” You turn to your sister and sneer quietly. “Clean the tables. Now, please.”
Mila gives Violet a once-over and you a narrow glare as she grumbles a ‘fine’ as she rounds the corner to go and wipe down the crumb and dust filled tables.
“Hey. You can call me Vi, by the way. I, uh, was with my sister for the day and she wanted to try this place. I gave her some of my danish and she went crazy.” Violet motioned to the child just a few feet below her, chuckling at her gazing hungrily at the sweets.
“Well, Vi, I’m glad to hear,” you lean your head to the side to get a good look at her sister.
She had a wild head of short waves, a small gap in between her two front teeth. Her outfit made her ten times more adorable; a plain white Henley long sleeve with a pair of overalls. Her big hazel eyes stared at you patiently.
“Hi, cutie. Do you see one that you like?” You question her with a friendly smile.
Her adorable face scrunches up in thought, stepping back to look at her choices. She turns her head to her older sister before pointing at a strawberry muffin and raising her hands to sign what you believe is ASL. You curse yourself for not knowing what she was telling the pink haired stranger.
“She wants to smell the strawberry muffin,” Vi chuckles. “I told her about how you let me smell my danish first before buying it.”
“Okay, I can do that for you. What’s her name?” You question, hoping it didn’t come off as offensive.
“Isha. She doesn’t talk much,” Vi raised a bandaged hand to settle on her light brown waves on her head, ruffling the strands.
“Well, Miss Isha,” you focus your attention on her once again, watching her bounce on the balls on her feet with excitement. You grab your trusty metal tongs to grab the muffin and place it on a soft blue ceramic plate to set it down on the counter area of your register set-up for her to smell. “Here you go. Let me know if you want to smell anything else.”
Your heart grows tenfold as Vi quietly tells Isha to not shove her nose into the muffin, smiling at her sister as she hovers close to the pastry.
“Is she the one who ate the pink donut?” You turn your attention to Vi, raising your brows as you adjust your flyaways from your bubble braid.
Pretty blue eyes flickering to yours, her brows twitch as if she was shocked that you remembered such a minuscule detail.
“No, that was my other sister,” she shakes her head. “Isha was actually very angry with me when I came home with no cupcakes or muffins for her so I’m making it up to her.”
You watch her scrunch up her bruised bridge of her nose for a second as Isha signs something else to her. Vi playfully rolls her eyes with a sigh as she turns to you with another wince.
“Can she eat this now? She has an impatient appetite.”
You chuckle with a nod as you hand the plate to her, muttering a ‘careful, sweetie’ to Isha who beams up at you. She scurries over to a small round table to hop up on the seat to divulge. Now that it was just you and Vi standing in front of each other.
“Hey, are you okay?” You ask softly, eyes flicking to each injury on her gorgeous face.
Confused about your concern for her, her brows furrow for a moment. You watch her turn around to make sure Isha was all good, hounding down the muffin with crumbs falling from her mouth to the ground.
“Oh, yeah,” Vi shook her head, waving at you off as she grins sweetly. “I work at a kick-boxing studio and some of the kids can get aggressive. I’m okay, though, trust me. I’ve taken more than a few hits to the head.”
That explains the injuries and the bandaged hands. Of course, she was a kick-boxer. Her physique gave that away but what did you know? Isha was distracted with her muffin so you were able to converse with her, get to know her a little more so your gram would stop asking you if that cute pink haired girl came in again.
“Really? Where at?” You hum.
“It’s like fifteen minutes from here. Why? You want to come see kids beat me up?” She teases, folding her arms over her chest.
You hum with a nod, walking around the counter to place a napkin on the table so Isha could wipe her face to be rid of the sticky crumbs on her face. “Yeah, that’s exactly why. Because I’m a masochist.”
An actual laugh left her plush lips as she shook her head, eyes following you as you face her now. If Gram could see you now. Well, she was probably watching you from the security cameras in the back room with an evil smile.
“You know, I meant to ask. Do you make custom cakes?” Vi leans back to rest her lower back on the countertop where your register was, crossing her legs and shoving her hands into the pocket of her hoodie.
She really just looks like that, you thought to yourself.
“We do, yeah. Is your birthday coming up?” You look at her with raised brows.
Vi shakes her head, pointing to the little girl behind you. “No. Her birthday is next week and my family is throwing her a zoo themed birthday party.”
You awe out loud at the thought.
“That’s so cute. Yeah, I can— I mean, we can do that,” you shake your head as you correct yourself, hoping she didn’t catch your desperate slip-up.
Isha stands up from her table, dusting off the crumbs from her overalls. She walks over to you to hand you the plate, signing ‘thank you’ to you. You pause for a moment before hesitantly signing back ‘you’re welcome’ slowly, not sure if you were doing it right. You knew the basics but weren’t extremely educated on ASL. After today, though, you were determined to brush up on it.
Isha eyes brighten at you signing back to her. She turns to Vi with a smile so wide, you swore her cheeks would split open. She nods down at Isha, ruffling her hair once again as she reaches for her pocket to retrieve her wallet.
“Shit, sorry, how much do I owe you for the muffin?” Vi shuffles through the bills in her wallet.
“No, no. You’re… good. Don’t worry about it.” You wave her off, shaking your head.
Vi pauses before scoffing, attempting to shove the money into your palms. “I’m paying for the muffin.”
“Seriously. It’s one muffin, Vi. Plus, a little early birthday present for Isha.” You shove the bills into her hands once again, gripping onto her hands to make sure she doesn’t try to give them back.
Vi glances down at your gentle hands around hers. Reluctantly taking the money back, she takes the bills before shoving them back into the crease of her wallet. You try not to focus on how slightly bigger her hands were from yours; how surprisingly soft her knuckles were.
Isha seems to become impatient now with her elder sister, reaching up to tug on two of her fingers. Vi nods down to her, muttering a soft ‘okay, okay’.
“Thank you for that, by the way. And if it's not too much trouble for you, cupcake, can I get your number?” Vi questions as she takes Isha’s hand in hers. “You know, for any questions about what the cake should look like and what flavor it could be.”
Your brows furrow at her words before nodding, pursing your lips to repress the smile creeping onto your face. Cupcake. You like that nickname coming from her lips.
“Right! Yes, um,” you walk over to the counter to grab a sticky note and a pen to scribble down your personal number. “Here. Call or text me with all the information.”
You place the small yellow piece of paper into her palm that wasn’t holding Isha’s. She takes it in between her pointer and middle fingers, nodding with a confident smile.
“I will. See you, cupcake.”
“See you, Vi. Bye, sweetheart,” you bend down ever so slightly to wave at Isha.
The adorable girl waves her free hand at you with a just as cute toothy smile on her face. You excused it as a sugar rush as they walk away from you, hand in hand as they leave the store. Vi turns her head to give you one more glance before Isha is tugging her down the sidewalk.
Mila angrily stormed up to you the second they left and raised her hand with the rag to smack you on the forearm. You gasp and snatch the weapon away from her, pointing a finger in her face.
“What the hell? Stop hitting me with this,” you sneer.
“I’m wiping down tables and you’re flirting? How the hell is that fair?” Mila quips back as she folds her arms in front of her chest.
“I wasn’t flirting. I was taking a cake order, by the way, so you can stop whining.” You roll your eyes as you walk back around to the counter.
Mila sucks in a deep breath before shaking her head.
“Really? So what was that whole,” your sister cleared her throat, sucking in a deep breath. “Giving her your personal number when you could’ve just given her the store's number?”
You pause your movements of wiping down the counter from behind the register, thinking about it for a moment. You knew why. You just hated your sister being all in your business.
“Okay, what is it to you?” You get defensive. “I can’t… make new friends?”
Mila merely snorts before rolling her eyes.
“Sure. You definitely only want to be friends with her.”
TAGLIST: @strawberrykidneystone @lovinglynny @kylorey25
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Trying to absorb everything there is to know about ice hockey within the shortest amount of time possible really does strange things to a person. You come up against questions such as what do defensemen even do aside from skate backwards and do tummy time to protect their goalie? (Broadcasts aren’t the most informative) What the hell makes defensemen effective? What do the casters mean when they say “gap”? What are defensive details?
I love watching games back, I love trying to understand the game. I love hockey <3 But sometimes it’s nice to have help, and sometimes my favourite writers/podcasters collaborate!!
Here is part 1/3 of a podcast mini-series about defending, putting it here so I can have a copy of it in case it ever gets taken down + wanted to share with everyone some of my findings! (All episodes are available if anyone just wants to listen to them!) Transcript + edits done by me, all mistakes are mine.
Published 6th November 2024, Hockey IQ Podcast: Modern Defensemen (with Will Scouch) Ep #1 - by Hockey's Arsenal, hosted by Greg Revak (apple / spotify / youtube / bonus substack link)
part 2
[START Transcript]
Greg Revak: On the Hockey IQ Podcast today, we open up a new segment: we’re bringing back our favourite Will Scouch. If you’re on the Hockey IQ Newsletter you know his work by now.
Will, good morning. Earlier than most of us probably normally get up, but it’s a good day.
Will Scouch: Yeah, Greg, thanks for having me, it’s a lot of fun. Me and Greg go way back. We’re boys from years ago and I’m excited to hop on the show. I’m a keen listener, keen reader.
[They exchange pleasantries]
GR: Beautiful. Well, today we’re gonna talk about three concepts. We’re gonna break it into three spots though, so everyone’s gotta come back next week and the week after that.
We’re gonna talk about defensemen, because everyone knows they’re important but how do we actually play the position well?
WS: Yeah, I mean, it’s a position that’s still, to me, being explored; both by, I’d say youth and junior coaches and pro coaches alike. There’s a lot of different ways that you can do it.
I mean, I watch a lot of hockey from around the world, all kinds of different levels. I’ve watched guys develop from 15 to 24 at this point, and just seeing how their games evolve and everything, and how effective various versions of this position is. And I think it’s a very interesting area that’s still being explored in a lot of really interesting ways, for sure.
GR: Yeah, I think back to David Savard; he comes out of the [QMJHL] as this high-flying offensive defenseman, and if we just forgot about the rest of his career and you just saw him today as this great shutdown, defense-first player, you’d be absolutely shocked.
I mean, you think about Rasmus Dahlin — kid didn’t even play full time defenseman until his actual draft year, he was still playing forward a ton. There’s so much to be explored here.
I feel like [to get a lot of] — for you NHL fans — to get a lot of value in the later rounds out of your defensemen, take those offensive players first, and we can find a lot of hidden gems later.
WS: Well, yeah. I mean, actually, I’ve said this a few times but your listeners probably don’t know, but I did a presentation during the pandemic at the Ottawa Hockey Analytics Conference about this topic exactly; how, when you look at the numbers and the defensive value of players in the NHL, I found that there were just as many in the top 50 defensive value of players in the NHL, there were just as many undrafted players as there were second round picks, second and third round picks combined.
So the draft isn’t really a great historical gauge on defensive ability. Offense is a different story from defensive players, which we could probably get into a little bit.
But I find, personally, that evaluating defensemen and projecting defense to the NHL is still really spotty and questionable. And I don’t know, in my line of work, watching a lot of defensemen, a lot of the ones who I think are some of the better defenders kind of go a little unheralded, because a lot of the time you don’t need to be particularly noticeable to be a good defenseman, but scouts are always looking for the noticeable guys.
So it’s a very interesting world and it’s a very interesting thing to pick through, but there’s definitely a lot of case studies you could dig into, and a lot of players you could look at as cases of, “Oh yeah, nobody was really paying a whole lot of attention to them!” or maybe people were thinking about them the wrong way. But if you think about things a little bit outside the box, you might be able to see something really interesting there.
GR: Yeah, so let's dive into why that may be. Classic example would be Lane Hutson, so maybe we'll pick on him a little bit, but I definitely want to talk about Rasmus Ristolainen, because he is an interesting case study that we wrote about on the newsletter.
So where I want to start with this is just modern day defending. How are defensemen defending today versus old times? A lot of times it was the big hit, separate the head from body. The puck’s somewhere, but let's separate the head from the body, and we’ll worry about the puck later — that is going bye-bye.
Every coach I talk to now, they prefer having the puck rather than having a head on a stake. So for me, it comes back to this old saying of, “position before possession.” We're gaining body positioning, we're not so much separating head from body, but puck from player.
All right, so we've got position before possession. It's super valuable in gaining the space that you need to have first whack in a puck or put the puck where you want it, or just push it to a teammate. Just having the idea of owning space and there's no better league at this and no league that values it more than the NHL. If you don't do this well in the NHL, sooner or later, you're going to find yourself out of a job making a heck of a lot less money in a league that probably no one really cares that much about. You want to be in the show, the big lights: you have to value this more than anything.
And this is actually the one thing that I noticed about Hunter McDonald. He's in the Flyers’ system now — he was an overager, but I was like, “This guy is unbelievable!” He’s a huge frame, you can’t miss him out there. He would just get the positioning before possession, and I was like, “Okay, that’s interesting, let me watch him further.”
And I feel like he’s going to be one of those bottom of the lineup guys who, unlikely, made it out of being an overager in the [United States Hockey League], going to college for a few years, but has those little details of a defenseman that you see in modern day play, which is positioning overall, which is an NHL trait to the nth degree.
WS: No, I know. I think I would definitely agree. Those are the players that are always really, really fascinating to me because you look at a guy like Hunter McDonald and the production just isn't amazing. But it doesn't — to me, when you look at defensemen, it almost doesn't really matter. That's kind of a very secondary-slash-bonus style of thing that comes with a player.
I see a lot of defenders every year and it seems like a thing where a lot of them, maybe at the lower levels, there is a little bit more of that “separate the head from the body”-type of player. And I think there are NHL scouts who still gravitate towards those guys but, at the end of the day when it all comes out in the wash, it's a lot of the time the guys that are kind of, I hate to say ”boring”, but just very effective, and just they're always in a good position.
The guy I always reference as a young defenseman who, I think, is just a really, really high-end defensive guy is Kaiden Guhle in Montreal. We're going to talk a little bit about Lane Hutson in a second, but Kaiden Guhle is a guy who, when he was in the junior level, just played such a great, balanced style of defense.
He was a good skater, but he had really good length. He was a guy who didn't just lay the body every single time, but he certainly could if he needed to. It was about his lateral mobility, it was about tracking rushes, keeping inside the dot lines, and preventing chances from inside and leading with his stick, but then finishing with the body if he had the opportunity or the need to do so. And he seemed to have a really good read of just how to do his job really, really well.
And so that's been a lesson for me for sure. He was a really interesting case study a few years ago, and he's become a pretty solid NHL defenseman. I mean, on a team this year that’s kind of struggling defensively I think he’s been one of the brighter spots on that defense group there, [he’s] doing a pretty good job at least suppressing chances against.
GR: I don’t watch as much as you do, prospects, but Guhle I did catch. For me, the play style wasn’t very good. He had elements of it, you could see the flashes, but he was just really brash. His decision making and his reads were quite poor. But the tools were there, and it was like, “Can he adjust?” Which I think he’s done a phenomenal job [of], and I think Montreal is probably the perfect place for him to develop a lot of that.
So I think you're spot on like, “Okay, how does he actually apply?“ Having assets is one thing, having the tools is one thing, but how do we properly apply those assets, those tools that you have in a good way? So I think another piece, for me, is if you do have the speed, is just making sure that you're controlling speed and then you're also keeping small gaps.
And just knowing with my high school team that no one knows what a gap is, let's define that real quick, which is: the difference in space between the forwards and the defensemen. So the space in between, “How much space are you [allowing]?” in hockey term slang. It's underneath you versus on the other side, which is above you or behind you. So, “How much space, what's that gap between D and O?”
(Editor’s note: He says O instead of F here, I assume because the person attacking isn’t always a forward. As in, “How much space between the defenseman and offenceman?”)
So you got the speed, shrink that gap as much as possible. Don't give them the space to operate or work in, or, I even call it the space to think, which [it often becomes] for forwards, especially unsophisticated ones.
WS: Yeah, I mean, that's really the bread and butter of a lot of the position. It's so much of this, like you said, gap control. I actually just did a bit of video work for a really high end player, [an] NHL draft pick playing in Sweden this year, who is producing really well.
But in terms of the defending side of the game, he's not the most incredible skater you've ever seen, he's not the biggest guy in the world. And a big thing that I noticed, that even at the professional level that was kind of a bit of a work in progress, was that gap management. Especially because the footwork wasn't amazing, [he was] keeping his feet a little too stationary, gliding backwards and sort of allowing that gap.
And when you watch the NHL that's the point of the whole exercise, watching the NHL and how they play. Forwards are fast and they're smart, largely. The guys who can score are the guys who know how to get through soft defensive pressure, the guys who know how to find lanes and cross up defensemen, and if you don't have the footwork or the mobility or the reach or all of it — all of the above — to track all that and manage it, then it's going to be a lot tougher to do your job.
But the interesting thing, though, is that there's a lot of different ways that you can get defensive jobs done. That's always been very interesting to me; seeing how different players approach the position in different ways and seeing the efficacy of that come out in the wash, and how their offense balances with their defensive ability. It's a very interesting world to dig into, for sure.
GR: Yeah, I think you've got a rabbit hole there. You just kind of opened up around defensive skating. What do clean feet look like? What does defensive posture look like, that actually allows you to have that kind of mobility?
So we'll leave that for another day. If anyone wants to go check it out on the Hockey IQ Newsletter, they can do so. Just look up defenseman skating development. We've got two good pieces there talking about building and maintaining defensive posture and keeping clean feet, which — actually massive base for anyone.
It allows you to have the proper gap that allows you to kill plays early, and ultimately, it's a lot about just controlling speed. You don't want McDavid building up to full speed. You don't want MacKinnon building up to full speed. You don't want anyone coming up to you at full speed. It's very hard to maintain that kind of speed going backwards [that we] even generate in the first place.
How do you kill it early? How do you get a hand on someone? Or, my favorite example is just proper pivoting. A guy dumps a puck on you, how are you going back? What does that pivot look like?
I'll let you open that up because at the NHL it's almost too good, where you can't see what a bad example looks like, but you can see it's everywhere.
WS: Yeah, I mean, it's a make or break skill in the NHL. It's where a lot of defensemen die. I mean, it's a cliche at this point to talk about pucks in deep, to talk about [getting] pucks deep in the offensive zone, get below the goal line, dump and chase. People make fun of dump-and-chase kind of stuff. But if your team is built to do it, you can do it.
You can take advantage of defensemen in the NHL who just don't have the speed or the agility or the skating ability that some of your forwards might have. It is a lot easier to skate forwards than it is to skate backwards. That's just, you know, anecdotal, but also pretty factual — you're naturally going forwards.
I think an interesting trend that you're seeing a little bit more of [is] what they would call ‘scooting’. You're the coach; I don't know if that's exactly what the terminology would be, but [it’s getting] your defensemen in the neutral zone, kind of pinching a little bit more and having them skate forwards, tracking play towards the boards.
So it's not necessarily that they're doing their backwards crossovers, it's not necessarily that they're entirely skating backwards, but you see guys who are really talented skaters or do have a lot of quickness driving play to the boards in a more aggressive way than having the play in front of them. It's about them sort of tracking that play laterally, which is an interesting thing I think you're seeing more of now.
I think there are definitely coaches and systems that love to play their defensemen more that way, and the weak side defense can sort of fill between the dot lines for them and sort of leave the weaker side of the ice a little bit more open. That's kind of what I mean. There's a lot of different ways to achieve these kinds of goals, and I think you're seeing a lot of different things popping up to adapt to this.
In situations where you have a dump and chase or something like that, or just getting pucks in deep or whatever you say, when you have a defenseman who has trouble with their footwork and turning around… Trust me, I'm a defenseman, when I play hockey, I strap on the skates — I play defense myself and that's where I fall apart, when I do fall apart. Which is often. But definitely, when play turns around and I’ve got to change directions or change my area of flow, it can be tricky. And in the NHL, I can only imagine how tricky it can be there.
GR: Yeah. I mean, a good pivot you're looking at three steps total, like boom-boom-bam and you're there. You watch an amateur game and it could be like five, six, seven, eight chops before [they] finally get going and [it’s] looking like a proper forward stride again. [Or just] getting into a good defensive posture and positioning. It's total scramble mode.
A big one for me, too, is just the direction that you pivot. Do you wait for that offensive player to commit to their lane? It's just a great defensive habit in general, letting the offenceman make the first move. If you're making the first move, you're the one showing your cards. It's kind of like showing your cards first in Poker.
Let them make the decision and then you can pivot into them. Now you can get that position before possession, or at least get a chip on them, slow them down. You can either make it easier for yourself or your partner. So one, there's the clean footwork on the pivot, and two is making sure that we're controlling the speed and we're pivoting properly in the direction that we want to pivot.
There's a ton of times where I see, especially the lower levels, players coming up, they're in a bad spot, they're skating forward, defenseman skating backwards and they just chip it off the boards. And the defenseman is like a dog just following the puck and it ends up in the middle of the ice where the forward actually went. Again, the NHL is the best at this so it's really hard to see bad examples of pivoting into and controlling the space of the opponent.
WS: Yeah. I do a lot of work outside the NHL, and the biggest thing I notice is not necessarily the number of chops it takes, but the amount of time. You can see guys taking two seconds, maybe more, to get themselves turned around, tracking pucks below the goal line.
To me hockey is a game of milliseconds a lot of the time, right? I was working with someone years ago who really shared the idea with me that, in the NHL, generally goals are not scored if you have the puck on your stick for more than either half a second or a second.
I can't remember off the top of my head, but it's so fast in terms of; when you score goals in the NHL, it's when you touch the puck for a very short amount of time in the offensive zone and get a puck on net. And so, if you have guys who take too long — and “too long” might not be very long… If the difference is relatively short at the time you're making those pivots or those changes, but the [opponent has] got a lot more speed than you and you're [taking more] time to then start generating that speed to match the opponent, you're in trouble.
And in my opinion, I think that you want your defensemen to be more assertive. I always fall back on the strategy of; make them make a decision, make them commit. That might imply that you do the committing first, but that's where the importance of footwork and tactics come into question.
You have to have strong support, whether it's from backchecking forwards or your partner. You want to be able to adapt to quick players who might fake one way, go another, and be able to use your stick or use your feet or both to be a factor regardless of what happens.
It's very interesting to watch defensemen play. I find it really, really interesting to see the different approaches of different players and especially how they evolve and get into the NHL.
But yeah, I mean, [it’s so pivotal], the skating ability; defensemen who can skate, it unlocks so many doors for their career. If you're an elite level skating defenseman, it just unlocks so many doors that interest me. If you're not, and if that's not a strength of your game, then it can be a big struggle, especially against faster opponents. Even if you're big and physical and pretty good throwing the body or whatever, there's a lot more of the game in the NHL these days. Very, very interesting stuff.
GR: I think that's actually the perfect segue into someone who, early in his career, threw the body too much and sold out too much on plays that he probably shouldn't: Rasmus Ristolainen.
Great case study, great case study from when [John Tortorella] started working with him to where he is now. Will, I'll send in the link here from the Hockey IQ newsletter so we can track a little bit better with each other.
I found him to be a fascinating player. High draft pick, 8th overall in 2013. Really pretty, smooth skating, big body — has all of the tools that you would traditionally say, “Yep, that checks [out].” And then you looked at his stat profile and it was just abysmal. His micro stats were terrible. I think the only thing he was good at was D-Zone Retrievals, which, being able to take contact, it was kind of an easy thing for him.
WS: Yeah. I remember watching Ristolainen when he was in junior hockey, because that was the earliest years of me being kind of curious about that side of the game, and I did not really recall that being a premier area of his game.
I remember him being big, but pretty mobile, and has some skill to play around with. He did have a bit of a physical edge to him, but it feels like it was that tail end of an era in the NHL where those big, mean, physical guys were kind of in vogue, and people were kind of curious and needing guys like that. And I guess that's what Buffalo drafted him to be.
I remember being very surprised that he was in the NHL the year he was drafted. It just did not look like it was really working out there. And Buffalo just seems to have been not a great fit for him, they kind of turned him into something that he wasn't, but I do think that he's turned into some sort of serviceable defenseman.
But he, to me, is a great example of one that I always look back on and go, “Man, what if?” Like, what if things went a little bit differently for him? Because there was good stuff there, it's just I feel like the development was focused in the wrong areas.
To me, 65% of the work [is] scouting, and developing — the easy part is drafting good players, the hard part is developing them and bringing them along into being good NHL players.
So to me, if you can find the most amount of things that get in the way of that process being easy, then you're doing a really good job. And with Ristolainen, I feel like in his case they inserted more things to make that journey more difficult and sort of turned him into something that he wasn't, which is always a scary thing for me to think about doing to a player.
But it's not over for him, obviously. He figured it out. Obviously, Tortorella found something for him to do, and he has shown a little bit better. But yeah, he's always been a what-if guy for me.
GR: I always liked how Tortorella, after the 2022-2023 season, was doing his media stuff and he was like “Yeah, he's our most improved player.” You're a guy who's getting paid big bucks — I think he was making five million plus that year, still is, probably — and even him, he was like, “I was just bad the first half. And then around Christmas break, I started getting going. The second half was much better.”
Basically, the first half, they were just trying to rebuild his defensive game, and this is true for anything. Zach Benson's another good example of this. If you can't play defense in the NHL, you're going to be out quick. Benson can play defense despite being — I think they list them at five foot 10, but there's no way.
WS: Yeah, no, no. I know. He's a little guy, but he's another great example of a player where I, in my work, I do not care how big you are. I just care about how you play. Even in the NHL. And I feel like Benson's a really, really good example of that; a guy who, just forechecking alone is a really… The easiest way to defend is if he can cause turnovers in the opposing team's offensive zone, a guy like Zach Benson does that extremely well.
And if he needs to track guys through the neutral zone and backcheck, he'll do it, and he does it really well, and he does it at a speed that I found to be projectable to the NHL. And again, that's another one where I was a little surprised to see him in the NHL so fast, but he didn't really look out of place there.
He's had a bit of a slow start this season, but just a really, really talented player, and one where you kind of do look at and go, “Yeah, these smaller guys can definitely defend.” They just — the expectations are a little bit higher, and maybe for good reason, but he checks all the boxes for sure.
GR: Yeah. So for Rasmus (Ristolainen), there's two big things that, when I dug into this, that Torts was working at. At this point, I was so intrigued [that] I was tracking every single time Torts spoke and Rasmus spoke to the media. So I was like, “I wonder what they're actually doing?” Which, Torts can be tight-lipped, but he gives it away if you follow long enough.
The big one was just inside, like too much, he was finding himself, Rasmus was finding himself on the outside. So whether that be outside the dots, outside on bad ice, for whatever reason, or just finding yourself outside, like losing defensive side positioning to the offensive player.
If you finish contact, but now you're on the wall and your player's got to step to the net, that's trouble. There's a great, great clip the other night featuring, I think it was (Aliaksei) Protas [who] ended up scoring the goal and K’Andre Miller of the New York Islanders. So Caps — Rangers, not Islanders — Rangers… Where [Miller] went in soft, didn't really take positioning, got beat back to net, and Protas just put out a stick and just tapped it in, Igor Shesterkin never had a chance.
A similar idea of; okay, good, maybe you got some contact, you tried to make the stop, but you still need to maintain defensive side positioning. You still need to finish on the inside. So if you're doing contact, you can't overreach.
You just can't do that. You have to stay in good positioning.
And the second piece was just, finishing with contact to get stops, like stopping movement. Offensive play is a lot about movement, and defensive play is about stopping movement, AKA getting stops. So he would maybe make a play, or get a poke check, but the puck was still moving and could be easily on the other team's stick.
So how do you make sure you're always staying in good positioning? Staying on the inside, as Torts put it. Or the other piece, which is getting stops, or finishing with contact — but smartly, not chasing the contact for contact’s sake? Being tactful in your play.
I feel like Risto really just learned how to play defense smartly. He was actually thinking and being intentional about what he was doing, rather than like, “I see a puck and a player, I'm going to go end that!” And then, boom, in the big scheme of things, it’s a net negative. Even though at the moment, it may have, especially to him — otherwise he wouldn't make the play — seemed like a positive, really it was a negative for the team.
WS: Well, that's the interesting thing too, going back to talking about junior players and the context in the draft and how defensive players might go a little bit underreported or undervalued in a sense.
I see this all the time, especially with North American defensemen, especially with Canadian ones, but there are definitely players who everybody talks about how good they are defensively, everybody talks about how solid they are. They're big, they're physical, they're mean, blah, blah, blah. But then when you watch things in detail, it's this sort of Ristolainen-style thing. You're talking about K’Andre Miller where it's like, they're along the boards, they're doing the thing along the boards, but they're losing.
They're allowing guys to get low on them, get through them, and even in the junior level, right? What good is it if you're trying to pin a guy against the boards and they give you a little shove, crouch down a little bit, chip the puck three feet out from you, you don't adapt to that, they get three feet of space on you, throw it out in front of the net, and boom, you got yourself a scoring chance, right? I see that all the time.
It's the focus on the body and not focus on the turnover, turning that possession back over, that really seems to be a tough lesson for a lot of defensemen to get over. I find that a lot of defensemen from the age of 18 to 23, in the grand scheme of things, their style of play doesn't drastically shift all that often.
And so, when I see things like that happening, I'm going, okay, I gotta either hope that this guy puts in the time in the gym and becomes, just, a strength nut, and pins that guy to the boards so they can't do anything, or they figure out a way to get into those situations, take a step back, chip at the puck. Really battle for the puck rather than focus on the guy.
Because I've seen it so many times with guys who are bigger and more physical, they apply it in a way where I feel like coaches will go, “Wow, look at you go, you're playing hard, you're playing the thing!” But then they escape, this opponent might escape, and create a little bit of space for themselves. And again, this is a game of inches, it's a game of a couple of feet, and every inch matters.
So in some cases, yeah, you get those situations where guys like Ristolainen, yeah, you're doing the thing, people clip the hits, people clip the physical play, but then five seconds later, someone's got some space on you and they generate a scoring chance. And so what do you really value, right? Personally, fewer scoring chances would be ideal.
GR: I love it. Last piece to wrap this up, because I think it'll go well into our next piece, which is point play. Shorting the zone.
I was able to find some phenomenal clips and do some photos of this for the newsletter. But the concept of; if you're watching a game in the NHL, if you can see all five of the people trying to break the puck out, low in the zone… A lot of it, you think about the NHL today, is like a swarm. We're going to do close support. I'm going to try to crowd the puck out.
A good way to respond to that is to short the zone, which basically means your defensemen, instead of hanging out at the blue line, are going to go into the offensive zone. And they're going to start with small gaps, they're going to be [at the] top of the circles, if not a little bit lower.
Tortorella is another big fan of this, so you can see it with the Flyers a lot, too. I would say [Sheldon] Keefe is another example of a coach who does this a ton. So you saw a lot in Toronto, now you'll see a lot more in New Jersey, which is the perfect d-core to make all of this work. So I think Devils are going to be good for — that's going to be a great fit.
But just the idea of crowding in the space, setting small gaps, so when you do start defending, you can either cut a play off early — it's an easy pinch there if you don't have to go very far — you can cut it off. Or, 2; create a turnover in a much better spot than what is in your own zone. Why not make it in the o-zone? So from a positioning standpoint, phenomenal place to start, good way to kill plays early.
Before they can get going, before the team can build speed, and just being able to put yourself in a good spot to take advantage both from a defensive standpoint, but offensive standpoint.
WS: Yeah, I love when I see this being deployed. I think, again, I'm a geek, like I'm a math guy, and even just thinking about the numbers here, it makes such a difference if you think about it.
The offensive zone from blue line to goal line is 64 feet. So you're looking at the difference between a guy standing at the blue line being maybe 75 feet from the net or at the top of the face-off circle where you might be 20 feet closer, maybe 20, 25 feet closer. So you're cutting down the time at which you give the defense to adapt, the goaltender to adapt. You're cutting that time down by a third-ish, a quarter to a third. I'm ballparking here, but that automatically is just based on where you are on the ice.
If you can compress the offensive zone on your opponent, you're laughing. The second thing I wanted to mention here is this is, again, why skating ability and quickness and speed are so important to me. Because it is objectively a better position to be in when you're in that position — closer to the top of the face-off circles for your defensemen.
But if you do have a situation where the opponent has possession of the puck you have to get set up, you have to cover that gap, you have to cover for yourself, or you have to have some sort of system in place where a winger can cover for you if you're caught in the offensive zone. Ideally, you have your defensemen who can wheel up, get some speed going, get positioned well to counter that attack, and have a system that can swarm whoever has that puck in the offensive zone.
I think it's a really interesting trend for sure. It's a simple little thing, it's a concept that you see definitely a lot more now than you used to, but I'm all about it. It just makes sense mathematically, and it plays into exactly the styles of player that I always look for: guys who do pinch a little bit more aggressively, but have the mobility and the skating ability to cover for themselves.
I would rather have a player who tries something creative, or tries some sort of play that could lead to a high scoring chance, but may relinquish some space on the ice, but has the ability to cover for themselves.
And I can at least as a coach, rely on them — not that I'm a coach — but rely on them to cover for themselves. To go, okay, I can rely on them to try these things, because I know that if it doesn't maybe go their way, which happens in hockey all the time, I'm not going to be upset at this player, but I know that I want them to backcheck, cover for it, because I know they're capable of it.
I think that that's sort of the trade off that you have to live with, but I'm totally cool with it.
GR: All right, so we're going to call this end of the day on some modern day defending, and we'll pick up on point play in episode two.
[END Transcript.]
part 2 <- convenient link at the bottom <3
#puck!script#puck!research#p!res:defenders#p!res:archiving#proud of this one. took ages and definitely not perfect but very important to me !! <3#please read if you have an interest in dmen and understanding dmen... there's a few mentions of specific NHL players ->#rasmus ristolainen#<- features heavily here. there's a lot of flyers talk actually and I found it super interesting!!#Parts 2 + 3 transcribing... soonish. as soon as I get a bit more time on my hands.
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bunny hybrid!riwoo
+*:🍞:*﹤no warnings for this section ♡ / masterlist
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sfw
ᡣ𐭩 idk a lot abt bunny breeds, but i can see him with soft, light brown ears that are long enough for him to cover his face with when he's shy
ᡣ𐭩 lotss of unconventional habits like play-fighting, he finds it exciting, but often ends up getting too excited and biting you in the process. the bites are more like nibbles and are gentle as long as he’s going to the dentist regularly
ᡣ𐭩 lovess lying on you, if you’re sitting down at home and your lap is free, he’s in it immediately (babygirl!riwoo truthers rise up...) if you’re lying down, especially if you’re on your stomach, he’s climbing on top of you and nuzzling into your neck. finds it so comforting, and when he’s not lying on you, he’s pulling you to lie on him instead; he’ll tug on your clothing/limbs until you’re close enough for him to drag your body on top of his. at first, you’re reluctant because you’re worried about hurting him. if you say no, he doesn’t argue, but he does find somewhere to pout. he has a balance of trying to convince you every chance he gets, but also not pushing it when you say no. eventually, you give in to his promises that it’s not going to hurt him – it’ll do the opposite, comforting him so much especially after hard days
ᡣ𐭩 would love, love, love when you play with his hair or his ears, melts when you run your hand through his strands or rub his ears gently. when you ask if he needs help shampooing, he’s nodding before you even finish the sentence
ᡣ𐭩 absolutely hates making you upset, feels like apologizing with words isn’t enough, so he tends to nuzzle you instead. assuming you don’t need space, he’ll gently nudge his nose against your neck and/or cheeks. he’s not necessarily trying to stop you from being upset with him, it’s more of his way to show you that he’s here for you and that he loves you even if you guys disagree/have hit a rough patch. even aside from being a bunny hybrid, being close to you after a disagreement comforts him so much. he is not a silent treatment guy at all, please just let him make it up to you!!
ᡣ𐭩 would HATE going to the dentist. it’s a horrible fear of his, but he has to go to make sure his teeth are in good condition, definitely needs you to motivate him to go, and to be there with him the entire time <3
ᡣ𐭩 because real life riwoo likes sweets so much, I think bunny hybrid!riwoo would loveee carrot cake!! like he would do concerning things for carrot cake… if you want to get him a treat for getting through a particularly hard week, carrot cake is the way to go! he’d be so grateful, nearly swallowing it whole, like did he even taste it?? however, bunnies do have to eat carrots in moderation, so you have to be the voice of reason in terms of how much carrot cake he should eat. if you don’t like carrot cake, he’s lowkey hurt – “it’s carrots and cake, i dunno how you don’t get it??? :(”
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nsfw
+*:🥕:*﹤warnings : sub!riwoo tendencies, piss kink mention (it is very brief), mention of overstim (ooh shocker!!!)
ᡣ𐭩 going back to him loving it when you play with his hair/ears, it definitely gets him hard. he tries to hide it 'cause he doesn’t want to ruin the moment in case it might gross you out/make you stop touching him
ᡣ𐭩 extremely secretive about his high sex drive during the early months of your relationship due to it being an aspect about him he’s always been very insecure/ashamed about, so he does everything he can to hide it from you when even the little things you do (innocently touching him, kissing him, reciprocating his habits) set him off. when you visit his place, he’s frequently excusing himself to the bathroom just to splash cold water on his face and try to calm himself down. he doesn’t want to scare you off and would rather suffer through the arousal just to be able to spend time with you </3
ᡣ𐭩 bunny tails are very sensitive so many hybrids would prefer it if you didn’t touch them. that is not the case with bunny!riwoo… part of me feels like he would like being sensitive due to how much it heightens his pleasure. because of that, i think he’d like it if you played with his tail during sex. he’ll be ass-up while you peg him, and his cute little tail will twitch, bringing your attention to it. the second you gently massage into the nub, he's cumming quicker than he can think
ᡣ𐭩 i don’t write about bodily fluids but bunny!riwoo definitely has a piss kink... this is one of the only ways he shows how territorial he is, and another thing he’s embarrassed about, so he doesn’t tell you about it, but you end up finding out anyway
ᡣ𐭩 i know a lot of people say this about riwoo, but bunny!riwoo cums so quickly it’s actually humiliating, can barely even bottom out in you before he’s shuddering through an orgasm and stuttering out apologies. this likely stems from his high sex drive and being on edge all day when he’s in your company. when he finally gets his hands on you, holding out is just a fantasy
ᡣ𐭩 however, he’s a bunny! so he has a high sex drive, like he would show jaehyun up hard. even if he cums quickly, he’s ready to go again almost immediately <3
ᡣ𐭩 another habit of his is tapping his foot. he does this when he’s irritated, but also when he’s overstimulated. you’d be working him through his third orgasm and his leg is twitching, foot thumping against the mattress or floor. this is typically a sign that bunnies are unhappy or on edge, so you’re concerned when it happens the first time, he’d have to reassure you that he’s fine and genuinely does want you to keep touching him even if he’s overwhelmed (sweetie !!!! i want him so bad)
ᡣ𐭩 don't get me wrong, i'm a big fan of Dig Bick!Riwoo who doesn’t know how to use it, but i think bunny!riwoo would have a small cock, and he’s so embarrassed about it when you guys first start getting intimate :(( everything about him is tiny, and his cock is no exception. however, he grows to love his size, and the sight of your hand covering his entire length as you jerk him off drives him crazy. loves feeling small and under your control in that way <33
ᡣ𐭩 bunny!riwoo lovessss overstim, actually needs it to tire himself out. he handles it like a champ even if he cries about it. some days, he’ll beg you not to stop because he’s obsessed with being so sensitive and tender (and again, under your control). some days, he’ll whine that he can’t take it, can’t cum anymore, but you’d know him well enough by then to know that he can (and he does), loves when you ignore him and force another one out of him, even if he's shooting blanks </3. loves the idea that you know his body better than he does, knows his limits even when he doesn’t, and that he can rely on you during times like this where he might've slipped into subspace. he’s not so on edge or easily aroused for a few days after a thorough milking session, which is such a relief for him!
ᡣ𐭩 to end it off, bunny!riwoo is likely free-use since he’s always horny anyway. he’ll let you do whatever you want to him whenever, and he’s secretly obsessed with the idea that you’ll just take him and use him how you want. chances are that he was already hot n bothered, but was too shy to ask for help, so you’re doing the both of you a favor !!
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a/n : ty for reading, have a good day!!! eat a fruit drink some water listen to a comfort song,,,
#blueberrybeomgyu#boynextdoor hard hours#riwoo hard hours#boynextdoor imagines#riwoo imagines#boynextdoor hard thoughts#riwoo hard thoughts#boynextdoor x yn#riwoo x yn#boynextdoor x reader#riwoo x reader#this has been sitting in my drafts for literally weeks im not joking#im so happy to be active again#queuecumber 🥒જ
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Wrestling the Changes - Part 2
[Story Collection] | [Part 1] [●] [Part 3🔴]
Hayden walked confidently through the empty halls, enjoying the cold wind announcing the impending December snowfall as the soft glow of the setting sun cast long shadows across the campus. Hayden had always loved the cold, even though he grew up in a permanently hot town. He was excited about going home for the holidays in about two weeks, but he had a lot of things to do before enjoying some family time with his parents and little brother.
As he approached the gym for practice, Hayden took a deep breath and smiled, thinking about the events of the last two months. It had been eight weeks since the day he joined the wrestling team and met his teammates. For the first 4 weeks, Hayden went through intense practices in preparation for the regular season, which started in November. He trained with James, Marcus, Jake, Tyler, and Connor six days a week and reached the proper conditioning for the dual meets and open tournaments, setting the stage for the season.
Hayden couldn’t help but inflate his chest with pride as he recalled all the victories he brought for the team, helping them win all the duals and the tournaments and filling the coach with pride. They still had more matches ahead before the holidays and a local championship before the New Year, so they still had work to do. Hayden was very excited about his success with the team, and it also helped him get closer to his teammates, James in particular.
After the wild rounds of sex they had on the day they met, Hayden and James had messed around some more, but not as seriously as the first time. Whenever Hayden performed well in practice or during the duals in November, James rewarded him with secret encounters in the lockers or other random places, to make out. They hadn’t talked about being exclusive or having a relationship, which was good with Hayden. He loved to feel James’ body against his, but neither of them was interested in a serious relationship.
As Hayden thought about James’ magnificent body, remembering a few times when the massive guy rode Hayden’s big dick, he felt his fuck tool harden in his pants, and a grin spread on his face. College life was going better than expected. He had grown accustomed to the rigorous demands, balancing his studies with the grueling wrestling practices that had become a central part of his routine, and on top of it all, he had lots of fun with James and the other teammates.
Fixing his pants to hide his half-hard dick, Hayden pushed the heavy gym doors, expecting to see James and the others already there, but Marcus stood alone in the middle of the mat with his wrestling singlet already on. Marcus turned as he heard the door open, and a welcoming smile spread across his face when he saw Hayden. Even after all those months, Hayden couldn’t help but gasp at Marcus’ towering and imposing frame, making the tall guy smile even more.
“Hey, Hayden,” Marcus greeted Hayden. “It looks like it’s just the two of us tonight.”
Hayden returned the smile as he approached and shook Marcus’ hand. “Hey, Marcus. I guess so. Where’s everyone else?”
“Coach decided to give us the night off, but I didn’t check on my phone on time, and I guess you didn’t either,” Marcus explained as he began stretching. Hayden took his phone from his bag, only to find the messages from the coach. “Since we’re both here, what do you say about a one-on-one to work on a few things?” Marcus asked, and Hayden nodded.
“Sure, let me change, and I’ll be back in a second,” Hayden responded with a smile.
Hayden went to the locker room and quickly removed his thick jacket, sweatpants, and shirt. Standing only in his jockstrap, Hayden glanced at his reflection in the mirror, and a few thoughts crossed his mind. He had noticed a slight change in his physique over the past few weeks. His muscles looked bulgier than ever due to the arduous training but seemed somewhat softer.
He didn’t mind the bulk because it helped him on the mat against the opponents, but he couldn’t help but feel worried about the sudden increase in his weight, most noticeable on his abdomen. His once-chiseled abs now bore the faintest hint of softness and a rounding-out shape that Hayden had always avoided. His ass, already prominent after all his years of training, also looked fuller and jiggled more than ever before. He attributed these changes to the infamous freshman 15, expected during a guy’s transition to college life, but he had already gained 14 pounds in only 9 weeks since joining the wrestling team, so he was still worried.
Snapping out of his trance, Hayden quickly put on his singlet, noticing that the stretchy material only accentuated the changes on his body. The red fabric strained to contain his bulging pecs, stretched taut around his midsection, and barely held his fat ass and big bulge in place. Hayden softly groaned as he adjusted his singlet between his thick thighs, realizing that he would need a bigger singlet if he got any bigger.
As he stepped out of the locker room and approached Marcus, Hayden couldn’t help but marvel at his teammate’s physique again, causing his dick to harden in the pouch of his jockstrap again.
“Ready to get started?” Marcus asked, grinning when he noticed Hayden’s singlet looking ready to burst and his half-hard dick straining the singlet. “You look great, Hayden, but… you’ve put on a bit of weight.” Marcus winked and looked at Hayden’s body up and down.
Hayden shifted uncomfortably, his cheeks flushing as he scratched the back of his head. “Yeah. I’ve noticed it. I think it’s just the freshman 15 catching up with me. I’ve been trying to keep up with my workouts, but I guess I’ve been eating too much lately.”
Marcus nodded as he walked around Hayden, his gaze lingering on his bulging abdomen and glutes. “Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us, man, and you look amazing!” Marcus said, playfully slapping Hayden’s ass to see it jiggle, making the young man gasp. “But we can work on this together. Practice will be just the two of us, so we can focus on specific moves and conditioning for the mid and lower parts of the body.”
Hayden chuckled when Marcus slapped his ass again as they moved to the center of the mat, their bodies poised and ready for action. Marcus took the lead, demonstrating his speed and strength through different moves and techniques. Hayden watched closely and followed Marcus’ instructions.
Then, Marcus said they had to put the techniques into practice, prompting Hayden to attack him, which Hayden immediately did. Marcus’ larger frame seemed to dominate the match as their bodies collided, but Hayden had no intention of giving up without making Marcus sweat. He had improved over the last two months, so Hayden was determined to show the bigger man that he couldn’t easily defeat him.
Both of them groaned while they pushed against each other’s bodies. “Keep your stance low,” Marcus said. “And remember to use your hips. I can tell you have great strength there.” Marcus added, slightly stepping backward and making Hayden lose balance.
Marcus quickly moved and wrapped his arms around Hayden’s torso to reach for the young guy’s back and grab his massive ass. Marcus grinned and loosened his grip enough for Hayden to turn around, attempting to leave. Then, Marcus pulled Hayden tighter against him, feeling the massive ass rub against his bulge and making Hayden pant. Marcus hugged Hayden from behind so tightly that Hayden could feel Marcus’ pecs pushing against his back and his dick stirring to life.
“You’re doing great, Hayden. And this weight gain isn’t bad. You look better than ever,” Marcus whispered into Hayden’s ears as he released him from the hug, but Hayden stayed there, enjoying having Marcus’ muscular body against his.
“Thanks. I guess your dick confirms you like how I look,” Hayden said, pushing his hips backward to feel more of Marcus’ dick against him. “I know what you’re doing, and I’m not against it. You also look great. Maybe you’d like to do a workout focused on the hips.”
Marcus chuckled and firmly grabbed Hayden’s hips. “Sounds perfect.”
Both guys quickly threw their singlets and jockstraps away. Hayden got on all fours on the mat, and Marcus got behind him immediately. Marcus massaged Hayden’s fat ass cheeks, making him moan. Then, Marcus rubbed his 10-inch-long dick against Hayden’s ass, sending shivers down Hayden’s spine.
“Go ahead. Don’t hesitate,” Hayden said, pushing his hips backward and making Marcus smile.
Following Hayden’s instructions, Marcus buried his dick into his teammate’s hole, enjoying the animalistic sounds that escaped his lips. Marcus pushed his entire 10 inches of dick into Hayden in one swift move, loving how the younger guy’s plump ass felt against his body. Marcus leaned forward and covered Hayden’s body with his. Then, his hips started bucking, slowly but hard, and Hayden’s moans grew louder.
“Told… you. We’re... working the... hips,” Hayden managed to say as Marcus sped up his pace, not letting him form words.
“I’ve dreamed about this ass of yours since the day we met, and it feels much better than I ever expected,” Marcus said, bucking his hips as hard and as fast as a jackhammer while Hayden moaned and gasped for air.
Hayden was so lost in pleasure that he didn’t notice his dick was leaking pre-cum onto the mat because he was more interested in the incredible sensation in his guts while Marcus’ pre-cum entered him, making him feel bloated even before the big guy started cumming. Everything about that moment felt incredible. Having Marcus’ body surrounding him felt fantastic; Marcus’ balls hitting his balls with each thrust was surreal, and the massive dick reaching so dick felt fantastic.
“Bro, I’m so close. I’m pulling out now,” Marcus said between groans as his balls prepared to send a big load into Hayden’s guts.
“Don’t. Finish inside, I don’t mind,” Hayden said, flexing his glutes to stroke Marcus’ dick and prevent it from moving out of his hole.
When Hayden flexed his glutes, Marcus moaned loudly, and a massive wave of cum flooded the young guy’s guts. Hayden moaned when he felt Marcus’ thick seed filling him up, resulting in his own dick shooting massive globs of cum onto the mat. Both guys were so high on pleasure while they both came that they didn’t notice they were making a mess.
Then, as Marcus stopped cumming, Hayden felt his abdomen tightening and feeling fuller than before. He groaned loudly and placed his right hand over his distended midsection, which started rounding out under his palm. Hayden moaned and groaned while his belly inched outward, further than a simple bloat. The expansion only lasted a few seconds, and the difference was subtle at first sight, but for Hayden, his belly felt very different. His once flat abdomen had thickened in the last two months and now had a curve that made Hayden smile.
“Are you okay?” Marcus asked while Hayden rubbed his abdomen, heavily panting.
“I am. You were incredible,” Hayden added, looking at the messy mat beneath them. “Sadly, we should clean this up before anyone finds us.”
“Oh, true,” Marcus said, pulling his dick out of Hayden’s hole with a loud pop. “Let me help you up, and I’ll clean this up,” Marcus said, offering his hand to a panting Hayden.
****
Hayden woke up feeling utterly drained the morning after his intense practice with Marcus, still only wearing a jockstrap. As the soft light of dawn entered through the thin curtains of his dorm room, he groggily turned over in bed, feeling his body protest with each movement. A wave of exhaustion washed over him as he rubbed his eyes and tried to shake off the lingering dizziness, but the room seemed to slightly spin as he sat up.
Memories of the previous night’s practice flooded his mind, and a small smile tugged at his lips as he recalled the incredible sensation of Marcus’ dick buried inside him. He absentmindedly placed his hand on his abdomen, feeling the slight bulge that felt more pronounced since Marcus’ cum filled his guts to the brim. His fingers traced the contours of his stomach, smiling as he realized that it was just a reminder of the incredible sex with Marcus.
“I don’t mind the little belly after such a good fuck,” Hayden said while caressing his abdomen.
Then, a sudden wave of nausea hit him like a freight train. His stomach churned violently, and Hayden barely had time to register the sensation before he had to jump out of bed and rush to the bathroom. Kneeling in front of the toilet, he retched several times before vomiting his dinner from the night before. He felt weaker every second, the cold sweat on his forehead making him shiver despite the room’s warmth.
Once he stopped throwing up, Hayden leaned against the bathroom wall, his mind racing with confusion and worry. He couldn’t get sick on the verge of an important championship. Hayden struggled to feel better, splashing cold water on his face and taking deep breaths to steady himself. However, even after he had regained composure, the dizziness lingered, a constant reminder that something was wrong.
Hayden continued with his routine between scheduled dual meets with other teams, and with some pills for nausea, he managed to win all his matches. He tried to hide his sickness from his teammates and the coach, but over the following weeks, his condition only worsened. Nausea became a near-constant companion, striking at the most inconvenient times and leaving him doubled over in pain. The pills helped, but the nausea never disappeared.
His appetite fluctuated wildly. He couldn’t stand the sight of food some days, while on others, he felt ravenous, devouring everything in sight. Despite his efforts to maintain his regular workout routine, he noticed that he was gaining weight at an alarming rate, which he attributed to his constant overeating or stress for finals. His entire body thickened, but most of the additional pounds settled around his midsection, adding to his growing sense of unease.
Once the duals ended by mid-December, knowing that he needed to be healthy for the championship before the New Year, Hayden finally decided to visit the campus health center. He felt apprehension and hope as he walked into the doctor’s office. A nurse ran a quick examination, asking him about the symptoms. Hayden’s anxiety worsened when the doctor came a few minutes later and referred him to another doctor outside of campus because they thought he needed further examinations.
Hayden made an appointment for December 23rd, the day he was supposed to leave campus to spend the holidays with his parents. The second doctor asked even more questions, and the examinations were more extensive, including weighing him. Hayden sighed when the nurse read the numbers on the scale: 218.3 pounds. Almost 20 pounds in less than three months didn’t sound like a lot, but it was unusual since Hayden exercised constantly.
“Good morning, Hayden. I’ve been reading your file, and your symptoms are somewhat strange,” the doctor kindly said as he sat behind his desk in front of Hayden. “You mentioned you feel tired and dizzy, and you’ve been vomiting a lot. Plus, you’ve gained weight—18 pounds. Correct?”
“Yeah. I’ve been feeling really sick lately,” Hayden responded.
“I see. When did you first notice the nausea and the fatigue?” the doctor asked.
“About two weeks ago. It started out of nowhere, and it’s been getting worse.” Hayden said, sighing deeply.
“Noted. The nurse asked you about your diet, exercise routine, and any recent changes in your lifestyle, and I understand you started college a few months ago,” the doctor continued reading through Hayden’s file.
“I did, back in September. I’m part of the wrestling team, so I can’t allow myself to be sick for long,” Hayden said, sighing again.
“I understand that, and considering all the information you provided, I have some theories, and they’re all related to your stomachs or intestines, so I’d like to run a sonogram to get a clearer picture of what’s happening,” the doctor said, and Hayden only nodded.
Hayden lay back on an examination table a few minutes later, with his shirt rolled up to his pecs. The doctor prepared the sonogram machine, applying a cool gel to Hayden’s abdomen before pressing the transducer against his skin. The doctor inspected the area around Hayen’s stomach and didn’t find anything wrong. Moving lower, he checked on other vital organs, all seemingly healthy. Then he pulled down the waistband of Hayden’s sweatpants to check on his lower abdomen, his eyes widening in shock as he studied the screen.
“This is… highly unusual,” the doctor said, his professional composure slipping momentarily.
“What? What is it? Am I dying?” Hayden’s voice quivered with fear, his heart pounding in his chest.
The doctor didn’t respond immediately, and Hayden’s anxiety skyrocketed. “Hayden, calm down. I don’t think you’re dying. I would say it’s the opposite.” The doctor was evidently shocked and concerned. “Hayden. It appears that you’re pregnant. I have to double-check, but here you have a womb, and inside that womb, I see six fetuses.”
“A WHAT AND SIX WHAT?!” Hayden shouted, struggling to comprehend the impossible reality. “I’m a man; I can show you! I can’t be pregnant.”
“I know you’re a man; you don’t have to show me. I can tell. And yes, men can’t get pregnant, but you are pregnant. You have six fetuses developing in your womb. You obviously have options since this is unprecedented. However, I’ll need to monitor your condition very closely. Whether you decide to continue with the pregnancy or not,” the doctor said, turning the screen for Hayden to see the tiny shapes of his unborn children.
“What? You mean, an abortion?” Hayden said, evidently confused. “NO! Of course not! But… I can’t be pregnant. I’m a wrestler. What am I going to tell the coach? What am I going to tell my parents?”
Hayden had more questions than answers as he left the doctor’s office. He couldn’t help but think about his wrestling career and how mad his parents would get. Hayden was confused. He stood outside of the clinic and placed his hands on his small belly, realizing that those six kids were the results of his wild sex with James the day they met. He didn’t know how to deal with a pregnancy, and he feared his belly getting even bigger because he would have even more trouble finding clothes to wear, but at the same time, Hayden couldn’t help but smile at the thought that he was carrying James’ babies inside him.
“I guess we’ll have a New Year’s surprise for your dad when we see him during the championship in a few days,” Hayden said with a broad smile, talking to the babies as he thought about telling James the truth about the six little wrestlers they had created.
...
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「 Fireplace Freestyle | A Very Merry Footballer Ficmas 」
summary: you surprise your man with k dot tickets and he shows his appreciation by giving you a freestyle of his own | MDNI 18+
warnings: fluff, smut, oral (f receiving), language 🎅🏾: this was supposed to be longer fluff piece but my writer elf is ovulating and up to no good, what a ho ho ho | pt 3 of my ficmas series wc: ~1.7k
When Jules walked into the house, the first thing he noticed was how you somehow managed to turn the place into your Christmas inspo board on Pinterest. The tree he complained about dragging in last week stood tall in the living room, decked out in hand blown glass baubles, glittery gold ribbon, and a dusting of fake, but realistic looking snow.
You were sitting criss cross near the fireplace wearing fuzzy socks with a chunky knit blanket over your lap. As soon as you locked eyes with him you grinned wide, knowing you were about to rock his world and surprise him with the best Christmas gift ever.
“You look like you’re up to something..” He eyed you, looking you up and down with his eyebrow raised as he dropped his keys on the overly decorated console table. You lost your train of thought for a second as you took in the sight of him. He was annoyingly fine and he never let you forget it every time he walked through the door.
“I have something for you” you teased in a sing-songy voice, doing a little dance like you were about to share a huge secret.
He plopped down the rest of his stuff and crossed the room, leaning down to give you a sweet kiss. “C’est quoi? (what is it?)” he asked, speaking against your lips in a low tone.
“An early Christmas present. Just for you baby.”
He pulled back from you, tilting his head. “Nah.. no early presents. You said that. Remember?” He mimicked the conversation you had with him two weeks ago and then kissed his teeth. “I haven’t even went shopping for yours yet. Don’t do this to me mon amour.”
“It’s fine. Just open it, you’ll like it.” You held up the envelope, shaking it in your hand like it was a golden ticket. “You can’t say I’m not the best girlfriend ever after this.”
Jules eyed the envelope before taking it out your hand and ripping it open. When he pulled out the confirmation email for tickets to Kendrick Lamar’s upcoming tour, his mouth dropped. “Hold on...is this...?” He read the confirmation page in its entirety from top to bottom about three times and flipped it over to the back, expecting it to be a joke.
“Kendrick?! And it’s the Inglewood show too! How the hell did you get these..?”
You shrugged, all smug while smirking. “Ticketmaster can go to hell but I did it. Anything to make my man smile.” You legitimately went to war online for those tickets, but he didn’t need to know the privy details. It took you two phones, a laptop, and a sleepless night to grab them up, but you got the job done either way.
He leaned back, still processing while rubbing his jaw. “You serious?”
“Oui baby” you replied, still smiling from his reaction. “I was way too excited to wait until Christmas to tell you, so I–”
Jules cut you off and in one smooth motion, he pulled you onto his lap with the envelope still partially in his hand. “You..” he kissed your cheek. “Are…” he placed another kiss, but this time on your neck. “Incredible.”
You giggled but then he gripped your thighs and ran his hands up to your waist and you knew exactly where things were headed. “I’m glad you think so but–”
“Non, non, non.” His voice dipped low, brushing the shell of your ear. “You’re not going anywhere.”
“Jules…”
“Shhh” He kissed below your ear, nibbling on the skin before roaming down further and kissing your collarbone.
It was a wrap after that. Jules could’ve told you a ridiculous lie and you would’ve believed him with the way his hands started caressing your body. His mouth moved lower, dipping his lips into the curvature of your chest while his hands went underneath the hem of your top.
“I need this off, mon amour” he spoke against your skin. “Right now,” he commanded.
“But I’m not done decorating..” you whispered in a voice shaky as he started sliding your top off of you.
“Fuck decorating” You could hear the grin in his voice, probably because he knew he was about to give you a little present of his own.
You didn’t argue – somehow all your clothes ended up on the floor and your head tipped back against the couch. The room felt hot, but it had nothing to do with the fireplace crackling a few footsteps away. Jules’ hands traced the outline of your body before moving to your nipples, where he softly rolled them between his fingers to make your breath hitch.
“I should thank you properly” He slid down to his knees so suave you barely registered it until you were looking down at him. “Don’t you think so?”
You tried to answer, but the way he looked like he was about to devour you had you speechless.
“Say oui baby” he voiced in a teasing tone. “Or tell me to stop. Up to you.”
“Mm, oui” you moaned as he lightly placed a kiss on the inside of your knee, then the other, before spreading your legs apart with his hands. The fireplace glowed warmly against your skin as he kissed higher up, brushing his locs up against your thighs. He ran his thumb over the slickness of your folds, making you arch up against his hand involuntarily. You didn’t know why you were so sensitive, but you had to grip the couch to keep from falling off and he barely even touched you.
When he ran his thumb over your clit again, you whimpered and gripped the arm of the couch with one hand, and clutched the top of his head with the other. Your reaction egged him on and he dipped two fingers inside of your pussy before taking them out and bringing his fingers to your lips.
“Taste yourself, mon amour.”
You looked up at Jules seductively through your lashes, grabbing his wrist and twirling your tongue around his fingers to taste his favorite flavor – you.
A low groan escaped from Jules as he watched your lips wrap around his fingers. “Just like that baby. So damn sexy.”
You released his fingers with a soft pop and he leaned in to kiss you, sweeping his tongue over yours to get a taste of what was left. You moaned into the kiss when he gripped your thighs to drag you down to the edge of the couch.
“Relax for me” he whispered while pulling back to lower himself between your legs. His tongue striped against your folds and the moan that tore out of you was instant, making you buck your hips against his mouth. He pinned your thighs down with his hands in a firm grip, yet gentle enough to make you even wetter.
“Be good for me and stay still” he teased, making you shiver because his lips were ghosting over your clit as he spoke. “Let me hear how much you love it” The minute his tongue circled around your clit you did just that.
The sound that came out of you sounded so desperate and whiny you barely recognized yourself. Jules was working against you like it was his last meal, flicking his tongue over your clit in a rapid motion with the perfect amount of pressure. Every flick, swirl, and vibrational hum had you writhing against the precision of his mouth while he alternated between teasing your clit and dipping his tongue inside of you.
“You taste so good” his voice was muffled but his french accent had you ready to come undone with the way he said it. “I can eat you all night.”
The minute he said that, you became a babbling mess and your thighs locked around his head, quivering. His name came tumbling out of you in broken moans and breathless cries. He slid his fingers inside of you again, curling them just right as he took your clit into his mouth, sucking gently.
“Jules I’m gonna cum. Fuck..it’s too much” you whimpered in a shaky mess of a voice.
“You can do it baby” he growled, kissing the crevice where your thighs connected to your hip. “Show me how good I make you feel. Let it all out for me.”
His fingers hooked inside of you and his tongue went right back to relentlessly ravaging your clit in quick flicks. You whined, trying to push him off of you from how good it felt but he wasn’t letting up.
“Don’t run from it. Take that shit. That’s my girl.”
The increasing pressure that was building up exploded, leaving you arching off the couch and screaming his name as you orgasmed. Your body shook uncontrollably as Jules groaned against you, and even then he didn’t stop. He kept going until he lit every nerve in you, dragging your orgasm out.
“Jules! Oh my god, yes!” you sobbed with your thighs trembling around his head while you tried to pull away, but he stayed put – lapping up everything you gave him like he couldn’t get enough of it.
When he finally pulled back, his face was glistening and he had a cocky smile on his face like he was more than satisfied. He placed a kiss on the inside of your thigh before joining you on the couch again, pulling you back onto his lap.
“You coming with me to Inglewood?” he asked, gazing into your half lidded eyes with a smirk.
“Obviously” you sassed while envisioning yourself next to him at the concert. “I didn’t go to war for those tickets just to stay at home.” You wrapped your arms around him, placing a kiss on his lips.
Jules grinned against your lips. “Merci, mon amour. Be ready though..I’m rapping every word.”
“Don’t embarrass me Jules. I’ll act like I don’t know you.”
“Ah, c’est comme ça? (it’s like that?)” he teased, grinning even more.
You smirked, running your fingers lightly over his locs. “Yeah.. it’s like that.”
“I’m front row embarrassing you then. Word for word, bar for bar. Especially when he does ‘squabble up’.”
You rolled your eyes, smiling as you pushed against his chest playfully. “You’re lucky I love you.”
“Mm..I know” he said, pulling you close and kissing your cheek. “Best Christmas gift ever, mon amour. Hands down.”
#jules kounde#jules kounde x black reader#jules kounde x reader#footballer x reader#footballer x y/n#footballer x black reader#black!reader#x black fem reader#footballer imagines#football fanfic
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31 August 2023
Brushing up on my physics before the new semester starts and physical chemistry inevitably decks me :')
#as you can see im feeling very optimistic about pchem#i mean im excited#but let's be real#that excitement will go out in week 3 tops#mine#studyblr#chemblr#studyspo#op
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2024 is gonna go down as the year my dogs Fucking Died, both my parents had major surgery, my sinuses collapsed for no fucking reason and the first woman who matched with me on the dating app i was just trying to get a haphazard and unideal little hookup on only matched with me to check if i was alright bc my bio was a little too alarming
#like. shit is fucked and on top of it all i can only pull butches who are either merely concerned about my wellbeing or think i'm lying#about my age. good god#i'd simply pretend none of this happened but again. i put both of my puppies in the fucking ground and then i hallucinated pippin barking#for me at least once a day for like 3 weeks which. um ok wig#god AND i'm out of vodka#whateveeeeerrrr#once again as a disclaimer i am not going to kms. i'm too excited to see what's going to go to absolute shit next#i'm fine i really do just need to pull myself together a bit and like. idk start eating breakfast earlier or something#it's all actually probably kinda funny deep down. there's a joke in there somewhere about how the night i realized pippin was only going#to make it a couple more days max i dug him a grave in the dark and despite how good i am at digging holes for myself i couldn't dig one#quite deep enough for him and had to get him cremated when he carked it the next day#but again things could like. be a lot worse i guess. congratulations to my dad for not dying of cancer#and also to my mom for gaining a reputation in the gynaecology post op ward for throwing up exorcist style lmfao#it's FUNNY please laugh#better luck next year and all that
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i'm probably the only one on here who's extremely excited about summer night lmao
#it's in my top 3 series that i'm looking forward to the most from the 2024 pt1 line up#next to the trainee and pluto#aaaaanyway i'm absolutely DYING to see dunk without joong#and i'm also excited to see him act opposite a girl#i'm even more excited about it now that i sat my mom down in front of hidden agenda#and we were also rewatching simm this week (we actually watched it live as it aired)#dunk works so well with joong like. they complement each other so perfectly#and i'm SO curious to see if dunk will manage with different acting partners#there's actually many things that he does where i'm like. yeah. i think he'll do well even without joong#and i just need to know if i'm right about it#for months i've been saying dunk is a better actor than fandom gives him credit for#it feels like summer night will be the series that'll prove it to me#or maybe i'll be proven wrong idk#that's what i'm dying to find out. will i be right about dunk's acting skills?? or will i be wrong??#if i end up being right tho then i might just go off tho#(we'll see. maybe i'll just rant to my mother in private)#hidden agenda and various stage performances already got me into the dunk protection squad#but if summer night proves me right then i WILL turn into mama bear if i see people shit on his acting#and that's that on that#airenyah plappert#summer night#adrm#this rant was brought to you by: dunk posting about the summer night fitting#bye
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really excited for uhh march or april of 2024
#there’s sure to be many pockets of joy and inspiration between now and then#but i’m not going to be able to completely relax again until we have moved and settled and i have a new job.#i’m just bummed out ig. like.#top surgery was 100000% the right decision but it’s had me in a state of perpetual anxiety since october#and i relaxed and recovered peacefully for exactly a week and two days#and then . now. with the imminent moving. and the imminent job change. i’m like 😵💫.#like ik this is how life goes. it comes in big waves like this for me always always always.#and i knew this was all coming. or at least suspected. i was moderately mentally prepared.#but jfc. recovering & working & moving & changing jobs is going to take everything i’ve got for the next few months.#and i’m. really not excited about it.#in the grand scheme a few months isn’t a big deal. but like.#now that top surgery is done i just want to recover and rest and then start enjoying my life :^(#i dont wanna be anxious and strung out for another 3-4 months :^((#izzy.txt
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THE SPREADSHEET IS DONE!!
Figuring out brackets now, and then everything will get posted soon!
#yall are gonna have to give me a week or so tho#im going out of town!!!#SO EXCITED THO#the top 5 makes total sense#also theres a 3 way tie for first place!#not a poll
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#ok so like this is fine bc im not in a horrible mood rn. this is more i feel like complaining bc what im doing is kinda ridiculous#but my memory is so bad that ill probably forget if i dont write it out. but basically 4 days a week i have to come in starting at 7.30 to#water and prep for measurements. then from 9am to 6.15pm i have to nonstop take the measurements. and theyre timed so that means#i get abt 4 min to do anything before i have to take another measurement. which is abt enough time to start to focus and then have to stop#which is very fucking frustrating. and i have to manage data. coordinate for this fucking paper. and keep track of like 10 other things for#work stuff. which means that it takes me like and hour to send easy emails and they come out all fucked uo bc my brain is so shot#but on top of that i also have to fucking do the steps to get set up for my new school in the fall. and like ive officially accepted the#offer but havent talked to my new advisor since then so now theres this weird gap where im like. uh fuck do i ask for wtf im supposed to#do? bc ive been able to do things for like 2 or 3 weeks but then my life started collapsing in around me. and like there r probably#instructions somewhere but i cant fucking read lol. whatever. hes nice i just need to find the energy and words to email him and b like lol#srry everythings been insane. but bc ive waited so long i have to compulsively keep going back to check that ive been accepted like somehow#that would change while im not looking. ugh. and ive also fucked myself over housing wise bc theres a housing shortage in the city and huge#demand of housing on camus so theres a wait list for everything but i cant fucking apply bc i cant get my id to work. and fucking idk who#to call or email abt that. but idk i might have to have roomates for a semester. or my parents offered to give me some extra money for an#apartment until i can get one that doesnt put me in the red on a grad student budget. ugh. i dont wanna do either of those things#but christ do i not want roommates. ill figure something out. its just annoying and difficult from so far away#and it makes me kinda sad bc ppl r like: r u excited?! and im like. i cant really think abt that. partly bc im constanly putting out fires#in the present so theres not really space for it. partly bc i dont allow myself to b excited abt things so as not to get my hopes up.#but just after i accepted i was excited. and now it feels like im reaching my hand out toward a floating light just out of reach. like#its a nice idea but i wont believe until it happens. but that just bc ive become distorted about things#and i dont even get a weekend bc the 4 days of measurement r friday to Monday and i cant fucking relax on weekdays bc ppl r like hey can u#do this??? and there r things i can only do on weekdays so its like ok i guess ill just suffer forever thrn. and my boss texts me like: hey#did u do X? and am like: uuuuuh i fucking dont kno what day it is anymore. i dont understand y we have to meet. lets just not talk bc im#afraid ill say something worrying. so yea its pretty fucked up rn. but this stuff ends on the 24th#then ill probably not take a break and fucking finish the measurements for another project bc i just really need it to b done. i need it#all to b done so i can fucking wash my hands of this and fucking quit and move away at the start of july... or August if i decide i hate#myself that much. ugh. at least the lab has been pretty empty so no ones seen me crying lol#also thr fucking rutgers guy emailed me yesterday like: hey u want this position? and im like bitch u r like a month too late also im in#my cringe fail era. i would not survive at ur school. ugh everything is terrible. 2 or 3 more months then i csn leave this place forever#unrelated
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feeling normal
#...infatuated with girls i meet after one week and like 3 conversations#also tonight met a guy and had one pleasent conversation and im like omg loml?#i should be like locked to a chain in the yard long enough thay i can go to my kennel for sleep or whatever#should not be unleashed out in the world#girl s older than me very nice we were takking ahout diy hormons and dnd#girl L in same course as me very excitable cute cries very easily#dude a talked about hoe he chose his name n how i ended up with my more used name#overall such a social night need to rest so bad#lots of people were very nice to me i was dressed as a plague doctor had the mask and a long leather coat n like lace top under#guy whos a friend of my friend waved so enthusiastically at me so nice so full of joy this girl shared all of her drinks with me sillies#its very nice to be majority trans and nuerodivergent people surrounding in real life like woah i actuslly love socialising silly#feeling joy n sillyness i love u mutuals i hope your doing well
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Deleted a very embarrassing post I made this morning bc I am almost immediately feeling better. NEVER let me post annoying self-deprecating/anxious/whatever shit bc I WILL regret it and laugh at myself a few hours later 😭 Sigh. I feel good now though
#my voice professor is definitely right every time I tell her how anxious voice lessons make me#or have a little mini breakdown during my lesson (which is most times)#and she’s like#‘girl that is a chemical imbalance. you need professional help’#<- in a sweet way though lol#SHE IS RIGHT#I need to schedule a psych appointment so bad#should be my top priority this coming week#wackyposting#ellyposting#whateverposting etc etc etc#ANYWAY HI <3#sorry for being in a Weird mood today#full of love again#going to write now :D !!! I’m excited I just need to. actually figure out how start this fic
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Overworked and Underpaid | Franco Colapinto x PR! Reader
Summary: When Logan leaves Williams, you’re assigned as Franco’s PR handler. Except nobody warned you that he hadn’t been trained yet
Warnings: Fluff. Angst if you squint, Franco is sad at one point
Requested: No but the people did want Franco and PR
F1 Masterlist
The original title was going to be With A Yap Yap Here
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williamsracing breaking news franco colapinto to race for the remainder of the season
13,893 comments
francolapinto i am very excited for this opportunity
→ user1 he seems so polite, bless him
→ user2 don’t be fooled
user3 praying for yn because she used to have the easiest driver to manage and now she has franco
→ user4 that’s if she gets assigned to him. she may not get to work with him
→ user3 why wouldn’t she???
→ user5 williams better not take away yn’s job and logan’s
user6 has anyone heard from yn since the news dropped? her and logan were actual besties, not just work besties
→ user7 she always talked about how much she loved working with him so she’s def gonna miss him
→ user8 what if she leaves with him???
→ user9 she didn’t even like the williams goodbye post. she’s pissed so it’s a real possibility
yn_ln welcome to the team
→ user10 this was so dry for her
→ user11 i think she’s processing and doesn’t want to seem rude. give the girl a break
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williamsracing a day you’ll never forget. welcome to your first grand prix @/francolapinto
7,337 comments
user1 omg he’s such a cutie
user2 his excitement all weekend has been so refreshing
user3 chat, what’s your favourite thing about monza gp this year? and why is it yn chasing franco around the paddock with a look of exasperation the entire time?
→ user4 she has been working overtime this weekend
→ user5 it’s the way sky sports always know to zoom in on her when franco is talking
user6 the fact that we haven’t even had the race yet and yn has had to cut two interviews short and say many times “he didn’t mean that”
francolapinto today will definitely be going on my list of top 3 unforgettable first times
→ user7 omg can he say that?
→ user8 i wanna know what the 2nd thing is??
→ yn_ln @/williamsracing i need a raise
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yn_ln just posted
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yn_ln hello cota. a weekend for cowboy hats, cheerleaders and my attempt to replace williams’ photographer
5,099 comments
alex_albon you’ve never taken a good photo of me
→ francolapinto because she’s not your media manager
user9 chat, are they healing? are they becoming friends?
→ user10 i actually saw her smile at him today after weeks of her scowling at him!
williamsracing all our cota favourites rolled into one
user11 okay but she took the most boyfriend coded picture of him
williamsphotographer gonna put me out of a job. i don’t think i’ve ever taken a photo that good before
→ yn_ln what can i say? i excel at everything
user12 why did no one tell me franco’s pr handler was so cute?
user13 i could see her and franco together
user14 can’t believe you’re betraying logan so easily
user15 the fact that logan liked this, which means he’s seen her so quickly forget about him
user16 you used to pretend to be logan’s friend and now you’ve so easily run off with his replacement?
(comments have been turned off)
yn_ln posted a new story
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yn_ln just posted
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yn_ln enjoying a break from work-mandated media and yapping drivers by posting vacation pics
6,633 comments
francolapinto i thought you found my yapping fun 😔
→ yn_ln uh, since when?
→ francolapinto i have proof!
→ yn_ln don’t you dare
→ user1 i have to admit, i am loving their banter more than yn glaring at him
user2 wait, she has a boyfriend? there go my franco/yn dreams
→ user3 unless, hear me out. the guy is franco
→ user4 nurse, she escaped again
williamsracing but we miss you?
→ yn_ln you’re the reason i needed a break
→ williamsracing i thought that was franco’s fault?
→ yn_ln admin, this wouldn’t be a pr approved comment
user5 why do they hide yn behind franco because she is stunning
user6 tbf, if i had to look at yn all day, i’d forget all social filters
→ user7 somebody free my man franco. he’s being blamed for his words when it’s yn’s fault for being so stunning liked by franco_colapinto
→ user7 omg guys, franco liked my comment
francolapinto just posted
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francolapinto pr so good that we had to get hr involved
10,340 comments
yn_ln franco! these are not the photos we agreed upon!
→ francolapinto it’s not my fault your ass is irresistible
→ yn_ln now my ass is off limits. james just messaged me to say we have to sit through yet another pr/hr meeting
user8 okay but these photos are kinda hot
logansargeant my favourite pr nightmare couple
→ yn_ln i’m not the nightmare! i’m the pr
→ francolapinto i’m the nightmare :)
→ user9 i hope you bitches that sent hate to yn for being franco’s friend feel bad now because logan has clearly supported this from day 1
user10 i knew boyfriend franco would provide us with good content and i was right
→ user11 these the kind of pics we need the others to post
→ user12 yes! like show some appreciation for the woman hotter than you that gave you a chance
williamsracing we’re confused. who are we supposed to report franco to now for pr violations?
→ alex_albon i tried to complain about him twerking in the garage yesterday and she just smiled dopily at his name
→ yn_ln i did not! i am a sensible girl
→ francolapinto haha sensible. you looooove me
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requests open. you can find who i write for on my masterlist
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𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 !
synopsis. upon recovering from a recent breakup with your longtime boyfriend, you find yourself confiding in a certain raven-haired man who is more than pleased to show you the rhapsodies of pleasure that his idiot of a cousin failed to give you.
pairing. zen'in toji x fem!reader genre. age gap au + smut cw. mature content (mdni), slight slow burn, slight angst, ooc!toji (pls be warned), p in v -> unprotected sex, age gap (reader in mid 20s + toji’s in his mid 30s), infidelity, slap on the cheek (m), consumption of alcohol, loads of tension, big dick!toji, rough sex, cervix fucking, explicit language/dirty talk, fingering, squirting, oral sex (m+f), reader’s on the pill, creampiez, toji calls you “doll”, toji’s not a papaguro </3 + voyeurism & public sex (in extra scene)
wc. 16k
author's note. another repost of my work from my previous blog (chosai), and this is undeniably one of my top fav writing pieces <3
FOR THREE LONG YEARS, you genuinely believed that this man, Zen'in Naoya, was going to be the one you'd marry. However, one curious peek on his unlocked phone proved you wrong – terribly, terribly wrong. All those years spent on believing your mundane love life was due to your boyfriend’s grueling office job; often working long hours, and then coming home straight to the bed to fall asleep before waking up again and heading back to work — and all those messages proved your theories wrong. He wasn’t the workaholic he said he was, after all. The sounds of the shower running egged you to continue scrolling down his phone, feeling a myriad of emotions coursing through your veins; be it anger, dread, sadness, denial, and betrayal. You felt it all.
Trembling, you attempted to fight the tears as you continued to scroll; trying to retain everything before he finished his shower. Naoya spoke absolute filth in those texts, and you could barely believe it. There came the pictures of an attractive woman showing off her lingerie, thanking him for buying it for her. For as long as you were with Naoya, he had never bought you lingerie – he had never spoken to you so affectionately and lewdly compared to how he had spoken to the woman on his messages nor did he ever manage to finish you off, chasing after his release above all else. Your sex life was less than mundane, but you didn't try to make it a bigger issue for the overwhelmed Zen'in, so you relented – despite all this, you wanted to be understanding. However, you couldn't have been any more wrong.
To say you were flabbergasted was truly an understatement. For the past year that was spent talking about marriage and your future, your boyfriend had gone on week-long 'business trips' – to which you had later found out was a front so he could fuck his coworker.
"Ah, what the hell," you mumbled to yourself as you scrolled through his phone continuously, staring intensely at the screen. You then stumbled across a picture of Naoya, shirtless with a mischievous smirk. Almost immediately, you slapped your hand against your mouth; reading the messages in horror.
NAOYA: I'll come visit you tonight. You better be keeping that on by the time I arrive. I wanna take it off you myself. AIRI: You're getting me excited lol AIRI: Just come here quickly and fuck me already babe~
You genuinely wanted to throw up. You turned his phone off and placed it back on the coffee table; you had seen enough. Coincidentally, the sound of the shower running came to a halt and you could hear the faint sounds of your soon to be ex dressing up for a "drinking party with his male colleagues". What a fucking liar, he was. You leaned your back against the couch, trying to keep your focus on the television while you attempted to control the burst of emotions that were more than desperate to come out.
The sound of the door creaking brought you back to the present, and you snapped your gaze over to Naoya in his casual business attire. You couldn’t control the biting scoff that left your lips. He had the audacity to look at you, confused. "Babe? Is there something wrong with my outfit?"
Babe. Hearing that word roll of his mouth, smooth like honey, was the sheer equivalent of him rubbing salt on your open wound; knowing damn well that you weren't the only one he was seeing. You didn't know how long he hid this from you, and you were honestly afraid to know the answer. However deep down, you knew you needed to know. You reached your arm towards the remote, turning the television off. It was silent now. You returned your attention towards the male with a cold gaze.
"We need to talk," you said firmly, yet your voice was slow as you tried to maintain the stability within your emotions that were moments away from bursting out of your chest. The male rubbed the back of his neck, a dry chuckle leaving his lips; his sharp brown eyes averting from your intense glare.
"Can't we wait? I can't be late for the party. The guys are already waiting for me—"
"The guys, you say?" You interrupted Naoya, laughing bitterly as the beads of tears you had desperately tried so hard to control trailed down your cheeks. “Or, is it Airi?”
Oh, how you wished you could take a picture of Naoya’s face the exact moment his mistress’ name left your lips.
"What…?" Naoya’s voice had gone quiet, his eyes wide in both shock and horror. "W-What are you talking about?"
Even when caught, rather than admitting it – he still chose to act innocent. You shook your head in dismay, already feeling your composure crumble.
"There's no use playing stupid, Naoya. It only makes me feel even more embarrassed for you." You said solemnly, your eyes clouded with tears. You could barely make out the facial expressions he was making, but just hearing his desperate excuses just added more to the ache that was growing within your chest.
"We'll make this short and quick," you continued. "After all, your Airi is getting impatient waiting for you in the lingerie you bought her."
Naoya gritted his teeth, his eyes narrowed down at you. "You looked at my phone while I was showering."
"Isn't that obvious?" you bit back, wiping your tears. "Anyway, how long were you and this woman seeing each other?"
You wanted to smack him until his cheeks turned red, but you held yourself back. "Answer me, Naoya."
His facade crumbled and if you thought you didn't recognize him enough, he effortlessly continued to prove you wrong. He looked down at you coldly, sneering at you. It stung, you had never seen him make such an expression.
"And how is this any of your business, hm?" He said, leaning down towards you with a cold glint in his gaze. "In any case, this should be your fault. You can't even satisfy me in bed! Otherwise I wouldn’t have gone out to seek out for another woman––"
Smack!
The loud sound of your palm making contact with his cheek resonated across the silent living room, the satisfying sting egging you on to slap him a second time. "You make me nauseous. You're surprisingly very audacious for someone who got caught red-handed, cheating.”
You pointed a finger at his chest, prodding harshly against his sternum. You didn't give him a moment to come down from the shock of you slapping the shit out of him. "Fucking answer me, Naoya. How long have you been seeing this woman?"
He mumbled his words, at first. They were barely coherent and you struck him a nasty glare. “What’s that again?”
"Two and a half years," the male grumbled out, holding onto his stinging cheek before mumbling softly. "Agh, fuck that hurts."
You could hear your heart shatter into a million pieces; you could no longer control the onslaught of tears that escaped your eyes.
"Even while we had talks about our future and discussed marriage?" You laughed bitterly through tears. You shook your head, crossing your arms together. You couldn't believe you wasted your time on this man. But then again, good fucking riddance; though the ache in your heart felt otherwise.
"That's all I wanted to know," you said, before turning your back to him.
"You... You're not even going to ask me why I did this?"
"No, there's no need to." You replied quietly. "I loved you and respected all your wishes even when you were too 'busy' to spend time with me. Regardless of whatever fucked up reason you had to cheat on me, I know well enough that it's not my fault."
Naoya stayed silent, but you could tell he was feeling frustrated.
"You're most likely going to keep fucking your coworker behind my back even after we get engaged or even married. So why not just end everything now?" You further added through your persistent tears and sniffles. "So, from now on, go ahead and do whatever. We’re done.”
There was a tinge of guilt present in his eyes, but you weren’t going to let it faze you. “Hey look, Y/N…”
You averted your gaze from his, and you can feel your lips beginning to tremble once again. He attempted to reach his arm up to you, but he paused and retracted when his phone resting atop the coffee table began to ring, breaking the uncomfortable silence. You both looked over to the phone, and a familiar name popped up on the screen. It was Airi. You pressed your lips together, blinking rapidly.
You already knew who he was going to end up choosing. It was a no-brainer.
You sighed and turned away, “Just go. You can get all your stuff and leave tomorrow morning.”
Making a beeline to your bedroom door and slamming it shut, you plopped down on the soft mattress and all emotions that you tried so desperately to contain had resurfaced; stuffing your face into a pillow, you wailed and wailed — succumbing to heartbreak.
Bitterness swelled in your chest when you heard your ex’s faint voice in the living room as he answered the call. “Yeah, I’m sorry babe. I’m heading straight over to you now.”
The door closed, and then came in the silence — however, not without the solemn echoes of your heartbreak. In the end, he didn’t choose you. After what felt like an eternity, your tears had finally dried up, but you stayed in the bed that was once shared between yourself and your now ex-lover. You needed to get your mind off things.
So there you were, clad in an oversized shirt as you walked down the empty streets of your neighborhood, strolling over to the nearest convenience store with your cold hands stuffed in the pockets of your sweatpants. Initially, you thought that walking outside could’ve helped with getting your mind off of things, however, it merely did the opposite; a string of curses leaving your lips in forms of mumbles with each moment that Zen'in crossed your mind.
You didn't realize how quickly fifteen minutes had passed until you stepped into the convenience store, immediately greeted with the cashier's voice laced in both fatigue and boredom. Scanning through the aisles of foods and other necessities, you mentally pondered on what you wanted to get. Bottles of beer, was definitely on the very top of your list. Oddly enough, you didn't have the appetite for anything else.
Purchasing the bottles came by quickly, and you immediately dipped out of the store and headed straight home, your worn out slippers continuously making contact with the concrete with each step you took. Your mind was relentless with attacking you with thoughts of Naoya and Airi, the woman he was seeing behind your back – and all you could think was that you wish you had caught him sooner, rather than trusting him with all your heart could muster and let him do whatever for 'work'. Biting your lips and blinking your eyes rapidly, you had desperately avoided letting out your tears once again; your face was already stained enough with your dried up tears.
As if the universe didn't prove to you enough that they weren't on your side, the skies above began to pour. It didn't even begin with a mere drizzle, not even close. Within seconds, your clothes were drenched and you tried to rush to the nearest shade – however, much to your dismay, there was none and the only solution was to run back home.
Your socks became soaked as well as your shirt, which was uncomfortably stuck to your skin, running through the dark neighborhood with your plastic bag filled with alcohol bottles used as a makeshift umbrella in hopes that it would shield you against the merciless attacks from the sky; yet, it all ended in vain when you tripped over a small crack in the concrete, your body immediately making contact with the cold and wet ground.
Fuck me backwards, that was the sole sentence that went through your mind as you fought back the frustrated tears that threatened to leave your eyes. You stayed on the ground, feeling defeated.
Then, there was a shadow casting above you and the rain stopped. You peered up through your weepy eyes, only for your attention to snap towards a familiar scar on the edge of a man's lips.
"You okay there, doll?" A sudden timbre echoed in your ears, and it was almost as if the rain had actually stopped.
"Does it look like I'm okay, Toji?" You said through trembling lips, feeling the waves of embarrassment washing over you as you stared back up at the tall male holding an umbrella over your head. “W-When did you get here?”
"Well, no. C'mere lemme help you up." Effortlessly, Toji hoisted you up back on your feet with a singular arm, and then his eyes traveled over to your hands. “I was driving by and saw you on the ground.”
"Are you having a house party with those drinks?" He questioned you, gesturing towards the dampened plastic bag filled with the bottles of alcohol.
"They're all for me." You replied in a joking tone, albeit it was the unadulterated truth. The raven-haired male caught on immediately, raising an eyebrow at your response.
“Trouble in paradise?” He asked you, his voice resonant as he looked at you with a curious gaze before his eyes widened in surprise. "O-Oh – are you crying?"
"No," you replied to the older man, though there was a waterfall of tears dripping down your cheeks. You spoke through persistent sniffles and shaky breaths, and at this point you weren't even sure if you were coherent for the older cousin to hear but you could honestly care less. "I c-caught Naoya... sniff... c-cheating on me… T-That little shit!"
"That dumbass..." Toji mumbled under his breath. "Let's bring you back home first. You’re drenched all over.”
He hurried you over to his car, and the musky scent of his car air freshener immediately struck your nostrils the moment you stepped into the passenger seat. There was something oddly comforting about it, though. Suddenly, he handed you a spare sweater sitting in the backseat, “Yer shirt’s drenched. Wear this to keep yourself warm.”
You had been so caught up in your emotions that you failed to realize the vibrant colour of your bra peeking through the drenched fabric. Bashful, you grabbed his sweater and thanked him profusely. He waved it off, a small chuckle leaving his lips. Slumping against the seat, you tried to ignore the musky scent of his cologne present in the thick fabric of his black sweater and you wanted to smack yourself profusely for letting your mind wander off too far, however you couldn't help but notice how large he actually is.
It wasn't often that you'd see Naoya's older cousin, as he would show up to family functions once in a blue moon. Though, at first you had found him intimidating as hell, you later found out you weren't all that wrong – making small talk with the older male here and there, much to your ex's dismay.
"Actually, Toji... I don't want to go home, yet." You admitted shortly after he handed you his sweater. "I don't want to come home and be paraded with reminders of that man."
Toji paused briefly before speaking, "So, you're saying that you want to stay over at my place tonight, doll?"
You could feel the blood rush to your face; a warm incarnadine imbued on the apples of your cheeks. You were surprised you hadn't paid much mind to it earlier, but there was something surprising arousing about his resonant voice; something about it tickled your brain the right way. You tried to stop yourself from letting your thoughts wander too far, after all, you had just gotten out of a relationship with his cousin.
"I didn't mean it in that way! J-Just drop me off home, then!"
"Whatever you wish, doll." Toji grinned teasingly before starting the engine, driving up the neighborhood through the heavy rain. “Anyway, I don’t mean to be noisy but how did ya catch that idiot red-handed?”
“He left his phone unlocked on the coffee table while he was showering,” you sighed heavily, staring outside the window with a somber gaze. “I later found out after reading his messages with his coworker that they’ve been seeing each other for two years. Two years and a half, actually..”
“Good fuckin’ riddance on yer part. I’m surprised that this man could last three years in a relationship, of course he had to fuck up and pull that shit on ya.”
You stared outside the window, feeling the heartache steadily returning the closer the car got to your apartment. Eventually, the car came to a stop, parked across your humble abode.
"Thank you for the ride, Toji. And thanks for the sweater. I'll make sure to return it to you once I get it washed." You said softly, looking at the older man with gratitude. He nodded his head in response, "Anytime, doll. Hope ya feel better soon."
Rolling his windows back up and preparing to leave, you stopped him before thinking. He paused and looked back at you, rolling his windows back down; meeting your flustered gaze. "Forgot anything in the car?"
"Um," you said awkwardly, feeling the heat returning to your face. "Do you wanna drink with me at my place?"
The older man blinked for a moment before a smirk tugged at the corners of his lips, "I didn't know ya were this type of person after a breakup, doll."
"Tojiiii," you whined, embarrassed. "I just don't want to drink alone and drown in my own sorrows. I need someone to talk shit about your cousin with too, you perv."
"Hey, that's yer fault for wording it weirdly." Toji shrugged before turning off the engine and leaving his car. "Though, I can't say no since you asked me so nicely."
"I'm sorry for keeping you waiting," you said, your voice soft as you walked out of the washroom door, dampened towel in hand as you made your way to the living room, plopping down on the couch next to the older Zen’in, though you made sure you maintained a distance. “It didn't take too long, did I?”
You glanced over at the male endowed with borderline Herculean features, and his eyes quickly met yours. Undoubtedly, you felt shy. You invited him over on a whim, last minute decision.
"Mhm, ya were really quick." Toji replied, smirking at your flustered expression. "There's also no need to be so shy with me, doll. Just think of this as one of our many small talks, but with drinks this time."
You nodded your head shyly before you dug your hands into the plastic bag, bringing out two bottles of beer. Thank goodness they stayed intact after your ignominious fall.
"Give me the bottles," said Toji, "I'll open 'em up for ya."
He made a come hither motion with his large hand, signaling you to give him the beer. Without thinking, your eyes stayed glued on his rough, calloused hands – you shook your head, embarrassed. Complying to his words, you handed him the bottles and he brought each bottle out, one by one, and opened them with ease; each movement was effortless, and a mere reminder of his strength.
He handed you the beer, and you thanked him with a soft grin.
"Cheers," you both said before drinking from the glass bottle, and a sharp sigh immediately left your lips. You looked over to Toji, who drank that beer as if it was water. You found yourself getting dazed, almost amazed at how effortless this man made drinking alcohol appear.
"About that idiot, Naoya," Toji began, swirling his bottle slightly, "Am surprised that guy managed to stay in a relationship with ya for so long. That man's never been the type to settle down."
You sighed heavily before letting out a bitter chuckle, "I'm surprised too, and I had to find out the hard way. Plus, he's actually out right now fucking his mistress as we speak. Funny, right?"
You let out a small grumble, taking a large gulp of the beer; ignoring the stinging sensation hitting your throat when you swallowed. Toji leaned back against the sofa, his dark blue eyes staring down at you as he continued drinking the alcoholic beverage.
"How are ya holding up right now, doll? I know damn well that breakups are never easy, especially with that guy."
You shuffled in your seat, you could already feel yourself getting worked up at the mention of your ex.
"To be honest," you spoke slowly, "I'm not as torn as I thought I would. I think I already cried all of those sorrows away, but I'm still heartbroken and bitter. Really bitter."
"Bitter? Do tell me more."
You took another large gulp, letting out another sharp sigh. By then, you were already drinking your second glass – feeling the heat steadily increase in your face. You slammed down the bottle onto the coffee table, an irritated expression plastered across your face.
"This man… hic… had the nerve to say that it's my fault because I didn't satisfy him enough in bed! Says him! He only ever chases after his own orgasm whenever we did it and barely… hic… lets me finish? What the hell!"
Tears were now rolling down your face, surprising the older man. One second you were showing anger and fury, and the next second you were slumped down on the couch as you drowned in your sorrows and heartbreak.
"I-I'm... I was never close to being his priority. I also… hic… found out that he's been spoiling and treating his mistress far more better than I was ever treated in the past two years…hic! How can I be so stupidddd."
"Hey now," you could feel a warm hand patting your back with an unforeseen gentleness, "it's better now that you found out rather than later. You deserve so much better, so don't beat yourself up too much."
The older man's words brought you comfort that you didn't know you needed. Without thinking, you leaned your head against his shoulder, downing on your second bottle of beer. You didn't realize through your drunken haze that he stiffened up at the sudden contact, but he didn't budge. You reached out for a third bottle, but he stopped you.
"Take it easy there, doll." Toji said. "Yer gonna have a hell of a hangover if you keep that up."
"Don't worry, I am," you said in a sing-song tone, though you still grabbed a hold of the beer bottle. "I'll make sure to drink slowly."
He massaged his forehead before chuckling, "Well you’re quite stubborn.”
You giggled softly through stifled breaths, “I-I can be sometimes… hic. Wanna help open this for me?”
He complied to your request, and opened the beer bottle once more with ease.
"I know it corny an' weird coming from an older guy like me, but believe me when I say that the end of a relationship does not equate to yer worth or that the world is going the end. So, don't beat yerself too hard, better things are about to come." He then paused before sighing. "Ugh fuck me, this is how ya know the alcohol's hitting."
"You don't need to pretend that it's the alcohol, Toji." You said, laughing. "You look more than sober. It even looks like you handle beer like how you drink a bottle of water."
"Anyway," you continued, glancing up at the man bashfully while you drank from the bottle; your throat had already grown accustomed to the stinging sensation of the alcohol, and you could feel your cheeks growing warmer the longer you allowed your mouth to ramble. "I didn't know you were capable of saying such sweet things, Mr. Toji."
He paused for a moment before sighing.
"It's nothing," replied the man as he swigged the bottle. He wiped his mouth with his arm, exhaling sharply.
"You must've… hic!… had many experiences… hic!… with romances, Toji." You said, taking a sip from the bottle despite the persistent hiccups that escaped your lips.
"What makes you say that?" Toji responded, raising an eyebrow.
"You look like the type to," you replied and Toji laughed. “I realized just now… hic!… that you’re… hic!… good company to have around.”
"Ya think so highly of me, doll."
You looked confused now, tilting your head to the side – looking at the sinewy man deep in thought (as far your alcohol would allow).
"Are you married? Seeing anyone, at all?"
"Divorced seven years ago, and nope."
"Ah..."
You both drank in unison, however your eyes stayed glued onto the older Zen’in. You felt yourself growing more sweaty despite having just gone out from the shower, your cheeks warm and your brain slowly yet surely getting even more fuzzy. You didn’t even realize how much time had passed, but the number of empty bottles resting atop the coffee table was enough for you to know that it had definitely been a few hours. Your eyes thoughtlessly wandered to his lips wrapped around the bottle; watching as his Adam's apple bobbed with each gulp he took, a small bead of sweat rolling down his neck.
Without even realizing, rather than your beer, you swallowed your saliva.
“I’m gonna get us some water!” You suddenly stood up from the couch, the sounds of your feet pattering against the hardwood planks echoing throughout the flat and Toji’s eyes followed suit.
“Do you need help with anything?” You can hear his voice from behind you, though he stayed seated, comfortably, on the couch. You shook your head in response, playfully pointing a finger at him. “Don’t you move an inch, big guy. Your host will take care of everything… hic…!”
Turning around, you resumed to the kitchen with slight staggered movements. Reaching your hand out, you opened the fridge, letting the cool air hit your face that was engulfed with warmth. You sighed softly, feeling even more relaxed as you scanned the refrigerator. Grabbing the water pitcher, you set it aside on the counter and your gaze shifted to the tall cabinet. Unbeknownst to you, Toji’s eyes were glued to you – though, it was mostly to ensure your safety, but he couldn’t help but notice how your shirt rode up when you attempted to reach the cups; your face flushed and your eyes narrowed in concentration. Silently, he took another sip of his beer. He wanted to slap himself.
“Ya look like you’re struggling, doll.” Toji called out, and you replied with a firm no. You shook your head, though you were really struggling – especially with your lack of balance. With one hand cupping the side of your head, your other arm reaching out to the glass cups resting atop the shelves while you were on your tippy toes, you attempted to reach even further but your feet lost its strength. Just as you were about to brace yourself for impact, a large and warm hand caught you; his arm snaked around your waist and your chest pressed against his well-built chest, and your lips inches away from his.
You stared up at the man, surprised before blood rushed to the apples of your cheeks; further intensifying the warmth on your skin.
“Shouldn’t have let ya do all the work when yer balance is already shit,” Toji commented, and you could only watch, flustered, as he extended his other arm to the two cups with effortless movements. You were unsure if it was the alcohol or the flustered emotions rushing through your veins, however you could feel your heart battering against your chest crazily and your cheeks growing warmer. You were also unsure if he had noticed his hand, large and calloused, was underneath the soft fabric of your shirt; his warmth radiating onto your bare skin. As much as you hated to admit it, you weren’t against it one bit.
“You alright there, doll?” The timbre in his voice brought you back to reality, and you felt your cheeks growing warmer.
‘Fuck, get it together! You can’t be getting these thoughts freshly out of a breakup!’ You attempted to reason with yourself, but when you glanced over to Toji’s concerned gaze, you honestly believed you were going to melt. This wasn’t your first time talking to the older Zen’in, having spoken to him many times in family functions or simply after crossing paths, though they were no longer than small talk. This felt somewhat different, however it wasn’t in the way you disliked.
“I-I’m… hic… okay now,” you said shyly, averting your gaze from his. Toji pulled his hand away from your waist, extending his hand towards the water pitcher and filling up the two glasses. He handed you the glass, and you accepted the gesture. Leaning against the kitchen counter, he stared down at you as he drank from the cool water. You fidgeted underneath his gaze, your cheeks growing even more warmer.
“Are ya feelin’ better now?” Toji questioned you, raising an eyebrow. You nodded your head slowly as you sipped from your glass, “I feel a lot better now, actually.”
“You’re lookin’ like you’re about to burn up.” He then commented before pressing the back of his hand against your forehead in an unforeseen gentleness. “Just as I thought.”
Just as you were about to open your mouth to speak, he beat you to it. “Let’s call it quits for tonight, doll. You should get some rest now..”
Unexpectedly, he ruffled your hair gently; his thick fingers brushing through your locks as you could only stare up at the man dumbfoundedly. You were just beginning to enjoy his company even more. As embarrassing as it would be to admit (when you’re sober), but it wouldn’t hurt to talk for even longer – even if it wasn’t about Naoya, anything would suffice.
“What about you?” You asked him, tilting your head. “Why can’t you spend the night here… hic!… and sober up?”
“No can do, doll.” Toji said, his timbre rubbing your brain in the most satisfying way possible. “Anything can happen since there’s alcohol in our system.”
You could feel your heart hammering against your chest, looking up at the older man who looked like he had just drank water rather than downing two bottles of beer. Absent-mindedly, you grabbed onto the hem of his shirt and he appeared to be taken aback.
“B-But… you still shouldn’t drive around… hic!... drunk.” You persisted, but Toji shook his head with a light chuckle.
“Don’t worry, it’s nothing but a little splash of cold water can fix.” He said before turning over to you, tapping on your forehead. “But you. You’re a bit too far gone.”
Your fingers immediately went to your forehead, covering the one area that the Toji had touched, your cheeks flushed a bright incarnadine. “Still,” you grumbled softly, glaring at the male, “you gotta wash your… hic!... face with cold water before you leave, no matter how sober you may appear.”
“Alright, alright.” Toji cackled, shrugging his shoulders. “You can even watch me, if it makes you feel any better.”
In came the following morning, and you were met with the sight of a familiar blond male with his suitcases in tow. You had just woken up from the couch to see your ex-boyfriend at least fulfilling his one promise, which was to leave your apartment with all his things. You rubbed your eyes, disgruntled at the persistent ache in your head. You didn’t have a moment to hark back to the previous night when all you could feel is your ex-boyfriend’s sharp gaze cutting through you.
Naoya’s sharp eyes scanned your surroundings, “Were you drinking last night?”
“Why are you asking me questions you know the answer to,” you grumbled out, stuffing your head into the comfort of your pillow. Naoya scoffed at your response, crossing his arms. “Well, you couldn’t have finished all those bottles yourself. Who were you drinking with? And whose sweater was in your room? Looks like it belongs to a man.”
“All of that is none of your business,” you snapped, your voice still muffled by your pillow. “Are you going to leave now, or what?”
“Tsk,” the blond male clicked his tongue at your sharp response, “are you now sleeping with another man out of spite? You’re no better than I am.”
This fucking man ––
Now you felt awake, and you shot up from the pillow — sending your ex a glare that would definitely kill if it could. “I’ll give you another slap on the cheek, ten times harder than yesterday since you’re begging so nicely for it.”
Naoya’s gaze narrowed, his lips forming into a sneer. However, he didn’t say anything. He knew damn well that he wouldn’t want to experience that slap again, or a harder one.
“And,” you continued, feeling yourself getting more heated the more you spoke, “you absolutely have zero room to talk about spite or being a better person. Remind me where you went off to last night, hm? While I was drowning myself in beer, what were you doing? Oh, that’s right! You were busy fucking your coworker, and even spent the night with her!”
The audacity of this man never ceased to amaze you. Just hearing him open his mouth was enough to give you a reason as to why you shouldn’t mourn so much over the loss of this relationship, despite having committed so much of your time and energy into it. Frustrated and beyond annoyed, you massaged your aching forehead with your fingertips.
“You clearly don’t feel sorry for anything that you did.” You spoke, your voice stern as a feeble attempt to mask your crumbling composure. “Even mustering an apology would suffice, yet you come in and have the audacity to accuse me of sleeping around?”
You paused for a moment, your gaze locked onto the Zen'in. Furrowing your brows, you sighed deeply and frowned. “What’s even worse is that you don’t look sorry.”
As much scorn you harbored for the male who cheated on you, there was undeniably a tinge of sorrow and ache that lingered within the depths of your chest upon making that crestfallen realization.
Pointing at the door, you didn’t leave your couch but you glared at your ex-boyfriend. “If there’s nothing else you want to say, you can go ahead and leave.”
And just like that, he wordlessly complied — walking out of the place he once called his home after three years, a place where he once promised he’d make many sweet memories with you; all that he left behind now was a poignant silence and another headache, other than that bothersome hangover, that you now had to deal with. Staring blankly at the door where your ex had exited from, you heaved an exasperated sigh.
In the end, Zen’in Naoya still couldn’t even muster a proper apology – not that you were going to forgive him, anyway. However, three years down the drain was still plenty to take in. But then again, breakups that end on bad terms were usually much easier to move on from, especially that cheater ––
Ping!
A brief noise coming from your cell phone brought you back to reality – cutting you off from your lamentable dwellings, and you snapped your gaze almost immediately to the source of the sound; your hand grasping onto the device, your eyes scanning the screen as you silently read the message.
TOJI: Recovered from the hangover yet?
You absentmindedly smiled towards your phone; your thumbs already working on a response.
YOU: barely ahaha YOU: what are you up to now?
TOJI is typing…
TOJI: Nothing much TOJI: Did Naoya come by and get his things already? YOU: yeah,, he actually woke me up to ask about the sweater and who i was drinking with before he left YOU: i didn’t mention you though, but he was being a total headache about it TOJI: Why not? It would’ve been funny if you did YOU: you wouldn’t want naoya to hop on your ass about it if i mentioned you
TOJI is typing…
TOJI: He wouldn’t be able to lay a finger on me anyway. That guy’s afraid of me YOU: you’re hilarious TOJI: Anyway TOJI: Thoughts on getting yakiniku tonight?
You didn’t realize it sooner, but over the course of days –– weeks, you eventually found yourself growing accustomed to the older male’s company; whether that be in the form of texting, or simply going out for drinks or barbeque –– Zen’in Toji was, without a doubt, clouding your mind. At this point, the thought of the misery your ex had brought upon you had dissipated. However, you wouldn’t deny that there was a wall that was evidently separating yourself from the Zen’in, a boundary that he, himself, had implemented. Oftentimes, it brought you back to an older conversation that you had with Toji; him telling you that he hadn’t truly been seeing anyone since his divorce, which was seven years ago. Even sometimes, you had gotten struck with the random spurts of realization that he was a decade or so older than you; his little nickname for you, every so often, served as a reminder. However, there were moments where you felt like you wanted to cross that line, and whenever you looked at Toji; his lips slightly agape, swallowing his spit as he stared down at you with that gaze –– you were certain that he was thinking of the same thing. This unspoken, yet increasing tension could be cut clean with a knife.
“Here. Get some meat and vegetables.” said Toji. With his chopsticks, he placed the freshly grilled meat and vegetables onto your plate. “What’s on yer mind, doll? Noticed you’ve been dazin’ off for quite some time.”
You shook your head immediately before thanking the older man profusely. “My goodness. I didn’t even realize they were moments away from burning. Thank you!”
Promptly, you threw the borderline broiling piece of meat into your mouth, chewing with tears slowly forming inside your eyes. “Wow, it’s s-so good. I love it.”
“Somethin’s on your mind after all,” Toji remarked, tilting his head off to the side while his midnight blue eyes gazed into yours. You gulped, swallowing the meat silently as you grabbed the glass of water and chugged it.
“I promise you, it’s nothing really important. It’s just work.” You responded, smiling cheekily as you reached for the grilled broccoli with your chopsticks. You didn’t think you’d have it within yourself to tell him that he was all that you were thinking about – you’d simply drown in embarrassment before you could even utter a word! While you were chewing, you swiftly reached for the meat on the grill and placed it onto Toji’s plate.
“It’s bigger meat,” you mentioned, “therefore, it’s all yours.”
“Oh? Look at ya bein’ all generous, doll.” he immediately teased you, raising his brows as his lips curled into an amused grin. “Ya weren’t like this the first time we went out for yakiniku.”
“Since when were you so observant?” You grumbled out, fighting the urge to roll your eyes jokingly.
“I’ve always been observant,” Toji said while he chewed on the meat, swallowing with a satisfied hum. “But yer facial expressions make it so much easier for me. You’re not that great at trying to hide yer thoughts, either.”
You paused, staring at the man with a flabbergasted expression plastered all across your face. “Ya just proved my point,” laughed Toji.
You closed your lips and pouted, taking another bite of the grilled meat – basking in the smoky flavor as you attempted to fight off the skittish emotions that were about to resurface. Though, you were unable to control the blood that rushed to the apples of your cheeks; heating up your face. “Clearly, what I did just now was on purpose.”
“Besides, what do you think goes on in my mind?” You questioned him, but as soon as those words slipped past your lips – you immediately wished you hadn’t. He sent you a teasing smirk, his eyes staring straight into yours as he uttered those words:
“I don’ think it’s the right time and place for me to say it here, doll. Ya might get a lil’ embarrassed if I lay them out for ya right now.”
Instantly, you could feel your face growing even warmer and you averted your gaze from his. “You’re bein’ mean right now, Toji.”
Then returned the insufferable tension. You fought the urge to squeeze your legs together, worried that the older man might catch on and you reached for another piece of meat and vegetable, chewing onto those two in tandem. Toji stared at you, amused; his head leaning against his hand as he played with the other pieces of food on the grill with the other.
“You’re awfully easy to get a reaction out of,” Toji further commented, chuckling. “It’s cute.”
“At this point, you’re just doing this on purpose!” You complained, blushing heavily at his teasing and he merely shrugged as a response.
Time passed by quickly, and you were spent; leaning against your chair with your hand resting atop your aching belly –– staring weakly at the older Zen’in who appeared to be in no way affected as he downed the remaining food on the grill. When he met your gaze, he bursted out laughing; cackling, even, at your state.
“C’mon doll, I think you can handle a lil’ more meat inside ya.”
“I can’t tell if you’re being serious, or if you’re making an innuendo.” You murmured, your voice course. “But I’m not taking another bite. I’m sooo full.”
“Ya pervert, I am bein’ serious.” Toji retorted, taking the last bite of meat before he gulped down his glass of water.
While he briefly left the table to pay for the bill, you stayed seated on the chair, staring blankly at the clutter left behind on the wooden table.
The more you thought about it –– about him, you were left with a feeling of anticipation that you knew wouldn’t be fulfilled. You bit your lips softly, trying to fight back that massive frown that was threatening to appear; you were certain that Zen’in Toji, your ex’s older cousin and nearly more than decade older than you were, saw you no more than just an eating or drinking buddy, or a young woman who was left heartbroken by his cousin.
“Now, what’s with that long sigh?” A familiar timbre brought you back to reality, your eyes snapping over to his.
“It’s ‘cause of my stomach,” you replied, laughing it off before you stood up from your chair. You glanced outside and down at your watch, “How long were we out for?”
“Hours,” Toji simply responded and you rolled your eyes.
You both stepped out of the store, ready to leave until you felt the sensation of small beads of water falling onto your face –– mere seconds later, it began to pour heavy rain. Groaning in pure unadulterated dismay, you both rushed to his car which was across the street; using your arms as means to shield you from the pouring water.
“I didn’t expect it to rain today, especially like this.” You observed, brushing your fingers through your dampened locks. Toji sighed in response, “To be honest, doll, I dun’ think I could drive you straight home in this weather. I jus’ checked my phone and it said that there’s a bad thunderstorm that’ll last all night and there’s also a chance of a small flood happening.”
“Ah, that’s alright.” You said. “So, what’s the plan now?”
“There’s an inn nearby and we can spend the night there, if that’s fine with ya.” Replied the Zen’in.
Your face flushed at his suggestion, and Toji immediately took note of it.
“Don’t worry doll, I’ll sleep on the floor or couch – if there’s one.” Toji reassured you, and you could only nod your head –– completely and utterly dumbfounded with the series of lewd thoughts that began to cloud your mind. You and him. Together. Alone. You wanted to smack yourself. Genuinely.
You shuffled in your seat, feeling the heat in your face and between your legs worsen. You tried to distract yourself, silently immersing yourself with the music that was playing on the radio. Then the car came to a halt, and you stared outside the window. It was an average looking inn, nothing too special. Upon finding parking, you both hurried over to the entrance; rushing over to the receptionist.
“Room 261 is on the second floor, to your left. Please enjoy the rest of the night, you two.”
The moment you found the designated room number and opened the door, you both stood there flabbergasted. The room was decorated in hearts and flowers — even the bed was large and heart-shaped, and on the nightstand, there rested a fuzzy pair of handcuffs, condoms, and bottles of lube. Instinctively, you touched your cheeks with the backside of your hand. Yep, your face is definitely hot.
Toji covered his face with the palm of his hand, heaving an exasperated sigh. “Shit. I’m sorry, I should’ve known it was a love hotel.”
“Don’t worry,” you laughed it off, “they were being really discreet about it, so I’m surprised. When you look at the exterior, anyone who never went there would’ve also thought it’s a normal inn — totally not a love hotel.”
The moment you both locked gazes, you bursted out laughing.
“I-I’m sorry,” you giggled, “the fact that we actually got into a love hotel is crazy. Damn.”
“Just our luck,” Toji chuckled. “Oh, fortunately there’s a couch over there. The bed’s all yours, doll.”
Plopping down on the bed, you released a relieved sigh. “It’s so comfortable here, Toji. You should try it out, too.”
He slowly lowered himself onto the edge of the mattress, and a look of surprise was plastered across his face. “You’re right.”
The bed was large enough to fit the both of you, you pondered to yourself. Your eyes wandered to Toji’s large and sinewy frame, his back facing you as he fumbled with his car keys — his large, calloused fingers tracing along the metal ridges. Undeniably, his fingers were large — thick and long, even. For a brief moment, it almost made you wonder, in your uncouth curiosity, what it would be like to have his hands wander farther…
No. Stop it right there.
‘You horny, horny woman,’ you scolded yourself, mentally smacking your head as you attempted to hide the blush that was moments away from resurfacing. Briefly, you averted your gaze from the older Zen’in, trying to look anywhere but him — it was hard though, especially when this man was quite the eye candy. There was simply no way he didn’t not go out with other women.
The insufferable tension lingering in the air was another thing you couldn’t ignore, it had been like this for weeks already; naughty thoughts and reveries involving the male came to you nearly every night and as much you tried to ignore it, you still noticed the way he licked the icing off his lips after taking a bite from a dessert, the veins adorning his large hand as he gripped onto the steering wheel, or how his eyes would flicker between meeting your gaze or your lips.
This was driving you insane. Terribly insane.
You could feel the weight of the bed lighten, and you turn your head to see Toji standing up from the edge of the bed, making large strides to the couch. Without ever turning his head to face you, he began to speak; his voice had gotten an octave lower, it caught you off guard.
“There ya go again, doll. Are ya even aware of the expressions you’re makin’?”
“Huh?” You stared at him, dumbfoundedly. “What expressions?”
“Do I really have to say it?” Toji questioned, turning his head slightly to the side and tilted. Your eyes wandered to his lips, glued onto the small scar as he spoke. “I’ll sound a lil’ bawdy, but…”
He pointed a finger towards you.
“You’re lookin’ at me like you’re beggin’ to be fucked,” the man stated, his navy blue eyes meeting your flustered ones.
You tensed at his words, feeling a surge of heat overcoming you – his words paired with the timbre in his voice causing a stir within the depths of your abdomen. The atmosphere had changed, the tension was so unbearably thick; you could sense that his composure was also beginning to fall apart.
“W-What?” You could barely manage to squeak out the words, but the older Zen’in’s gaze didn’t falter. You were, undeniably, aroused – for god knows how long.
“I’m a pretty observant person,” Toji said, his deep and baritone voice ringing in your ears. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way ya looked at me earlier, and even the weeks before. Even now, you’re aroused. Am I wrong, doll?”
Your breathing had gotten heavier, hitching even. Was Toji that good at reading you, or were you being plain obvious? You didn’t know, nor did you care too much. Either way, whatever he said – he was correct. You were simply too embarrassed to admit it; you bit onto your lip, unable to come up with a response.
“You gotta speak with yer words, doll.”
You swallowed your spit, gulping softly. “I… You…”
The way you wanted to dig yourself a hole and shrivel yourself up into a ball. God, this was so embarrassing.
“I… You…?” The man repeated after you, amusement plastered across his face. You opened your mouth, closed it, and then opened it again.
“Ugh,” you groaned out, feeling the steams of pure and unadulterated embarrassment leaving your ears. “Yes. Yes, you’re right. You’re all I’ve been thinking about for weeks.”
You slapped your hands on your face, covering the roseate warmth that seemed to merely worsen as those words left your lips. Upon setting your pride aside, you had finally admitted the embarrassing truth. But, what would come after that? Would he be weirded out and distance himself from you? You averted your gaze from his, you didn’t have it within you to meet his eyes. As aroused as you were, you were also incredibly embarrassed – and even that was an understatement.
You felt his finger tracing your chin, lifting your face to meet his. You didn’t realize he had already made his way back to you, his Herculean build leaning close to yours yet there was, undeniably, an invisible wall that separated the both of you.
“I tried to think nothin’ of it at first, but…” Toji began, stalling his words a little.
“I’ve been thinkin’ about what you told me earlier,” Toji said, his voice low in a murmur; his gaze yet again flickering between your eyes and your lips. You gulped softly, your breath hitching in anticipation. “About Naoya not pleasin’ ya enough in bed. It seems to me you’re feelin’ all pent up now.”
He shot you a teasing grin, “Am I right about that too, doll?”
Your eyes widened, looking at the man in front of you in shock; your mouth agape and your cheeks flushed. “You…” You attempted to come up with a retort, but all the words that threatened to leave your lips had come to a halt when he raised a brow towards you, his midnight blue gaze looking down at yours.
“Judging by yer reaction, I’m guessin’ I’m right.”
“Yeah?” You riposted, biting your cheek. “So what about it? If you’re just saying this to make fun of me, then you can just quit… it.”
Your eyes trailed down, your words slowing down to a halt as you caught sight of the large tent growing at the center of his trousers. It’s big.
“I wouldn’t be sayin’ all this if I only intended to tease ya,” Toji replied, his voice slightly hoarse as he briefly followed your gaze. “But I’m glad it’s confirmed that we see eye to eye.”
“Eye to eye? Does that mean…” Your eyes stayed glued onto his bulge, and Toji turned his head away; a bright roseate blush tinting the tips of his ears.
“Yeah,” he said, his voice gruff. “It’s exactly what ya think it is, Y/N. It’s ya fault for being so fuckin’ cute.”
You stared back to his face, a look of wanton adorning across your face as you eyed his lips. Licking your lips, you gathered all the remaining courage you had –– cupping the older man’s face in your hands and bringing him into a soft and brief kiss, your lips locking for a few seconds before pulling away.
“I-I didn’t think you’d be seeing me in this type of light, either––” your words were abruptly put to a halt when he locked lips with yours once more, this time with plenty more fervor; his large hand cupping the back of your head to pull you closer, if it was even possible. Tongues, forthwith, were intertwined as you followed the male’s lead; his well-rehearsed movements harbored from the years of experience you forgot he had. His lips were on yours, yet you felt as if your whole entire body was burning up.
Your fingers traveled to his clothed chest, gripping onto the fabric tightly as you struggled to keep up with his movements. Without ever pulling away, he leaned closer; his weight slowly pushing your body down onto the mattress, a soft sigh leaving your lips the moment your back made contact with the comforts of the mattress.
The wet sounds of your lips interlocking echoed throughout the room, along with the soft noises of your whimpers and moans escaping your lips as Toji’s hands wandered; leaving every curve of your body untouched, and the tip of his fingers snaking underneath the hem of your jeans. You wrapped your arms around the man’s neck, your fingers dancing through his raven locks. You barely remembered the last time you had a kiss this passionate.
Eventually, you both pulled away; revealing a thin string of saliva connecting both your lips together and anything else that escaped your lips were harbored breaths. You kissed him. And it felt so good. Pressing your fingers to your lips, your eyes traveled over to Toji’s –– it was evident that his self restraint was merely hanging on by a thin thread. You bit your lips at the thought.
“You’re makin’ it so hard for me to hold myself back,” hissed Toji, wincing slightly at the discomfort within his trousers.
“You don’t need to,” you replied, your voice was quiet yet it was dripping with arousal. “I don’t want you to.”
Toji raised a brow at your words, but he couldn’t deny – those exact words did cause some sort of damage. “Ya sure, doll? I don’ think I’ll be able to stop myself once I start.”
You sat back up from the bed, your hand caressing his cheek; your finger tracing the small scar ingrained in the corner of his swollen lips.
“Well, I don’t want you to stop either.” You murmured, your voice soft and you shifted your gaze to the tightened area of his trousers. “I can help with that, too.”
Taciturnly, you brought your palm to his lap, giving his enlarged bulge a soft squeeze; immediately eliciting a soft groan from Toji as a response to your sudden and bold movements.
“Y/N,” he muttered your name, though it sounded more of a warning than anything. You squeezed it once more, shooting the male a playful smile; your fingers playing around with the small metallic zipper before you slowly zipped it down.
“Can I?” You questioned him. It was clear you were ogling his bulge beneath, excited to explore for more; your eyes were wide in lewd curiosity, barely able to control the arousal and desperation within your movements. Toji found all of that, somewhat, endearing.
“Do whatever ya want, doll.” He huffed out. “But ya also got to give me somethin’ nice to look at and play with.”
His fingers played with the hem of your shirt before they snaked underneath the fabric; the sensations of his rough and calloused fingers touching your bare skin – his blunt nails grazing your waist. You raised your arms up, and with effortless movements, he slipped the fabric off you. For a brief moment, you considered hiding yourself – a wave of shyness suddenly overtaking you, but all that stopped when you felt his fingers, once again, grazing your bare skin; slowly tracing over the cups of your bra.
Your breath hitched, and a surge of heat rushed to your face. This was it. You were going to have sex with Zen’in Toji. However, undeniably, you felt like a virgin around the older male. His fingers lingered across your back, unclasping the undergarment with ease; he watched, with amused eyes, as it fell from your breasts –– revealing your soft mounds. Unawarely, your arms rushed to cover your breasts – but his strong hands held them back.
“Don’t ever think about covering ya self, doll.” Toji said, his large hands grasping tightly around your wrists. “I love the view I’m seein’ right now, so don’t be shy to show me everything.”
You tried to suppress any noise that threatened to leave your lips, biting onto the skin; your body writhing underneath the man’s soft, yet teasing strokes on your breasts, most particularly your nipples. You leaned closer into his touch, a quiet gasp escaping your lips as his fingers teased the erect buds — twirling, pinching and pulling; your mind was going blank to his teasing ministrations.
“You have such pretty breasts,” Toji commented, pinching your nipples with his index and pointer fingers before he began to twirl the bud. You bit onto your lip even harder this time; your legs squeezed tightly together as you attempted to satiate your arousal in silence.
“T-Toji,” you stammered out, “I’m s’pposed to be the one pleasing you first.”
“I can wait,” he grinned, licking a small stripe of saliva across your breast. “I needa show these girls some love first.”
You couldn’t even utter a response, all that came out were stifled moans and whimpers — your hand clasped against your mouth while your other was nestled in his raven locks. Zen’in Toji was, indeed, showing them love. Lots of love. The insufferable ache building up between your legs seemed to merely worsen, not even squeezing them together was enough to satiate it. You were far too aroused — melting immediately at the foreign, yet pleasurable sensations.
Toji’s eyes never left your face; analyzing every micro reaction your face made, every single move he made felt as though it was rehearsed — a well one, in fact; effortlessly finding the spots that elicited the most delicious reactions out of you with both his tongue and hands. He cupped your breast and gave the mound a squeeze, and he eventually pulled his mouth away from your nipple; leaving behind a thin string of saliva that connected his lips and your skin. If you were standing, your knees would’ve already buckled on the spot.
Breathing heavily, you softly pushed the older male away from your body. “It’s your turn.”
You slowly lowered yourself, your hands tracing down his shoulders, his chest and then to his abdomen; your nimble fingers unbuttoning, thus unzipping his trousers. You didn’t realize you were holding in your breath, while trying your darndest to control your heart that was hammering rapidly against your chest.
“Breathe, doll.” Toji’s baritone voice wasn’t much help, but you breathed in — then you heaved a shaky sigh. Gulping, you took in the sight of the sheer size of his shaft hiding beneath the thin fabric.
By the time your hands reached his boxers, your fingers snaking underneath the hem of his underwear; you pulled the fabric down, slipping it down his muscular thighs — you were unsure if you were being obvious, but you attempted to stop your mouth from watering.
“It’s big,” you thought aloud, slapping your mouth immediately after. Toji chuckled deeply.
“For a woman who’s mostly shy, ya certainly have no filter.” Toji teased, lightly slapping his hardened cock against your cheek. “How cute. Do ya think you’ll be able to take it in ya mouth, doll?”
You flushed a bright incarnadine at his words, “Were you always this crude?”
Wrapping your hand around his girthy shaft, you gulped softly as you slowly stroked his member; up and down, up and down –– your eyes were locked onto his face, taking in every micro-expressions that the older Zen’in was making, though it was evident that he was trying to suppress them; he was biting his lips, though he still had that sexy grin plastered across his face. For the longest time, you weren’t aware that Zen’in Toji had this obnoxiously lewd side of him, and you also didn’t know that you could be so fucking aroused because of it.
‘Will he fit inside me?’ You asked yourself, nearing your lips closer to his cock. You licked a long stripe across his cock, circling the soft muscle around his tip before sucking on it. Toji immediately reached his strong hand to your locks, giving them a soft tug.
“Fuck,” he hissed softly, “I almost forgot how good this feels. You’re so fuckin’ good with your mouth, doll.”
Breathing through your nose, you slowly took him inside your mouth; feeling the small beads of tears building up the lower you went down on him, your nose pressed against his pubes. It was difficult to breathe — he was just too fucking big! However, the loud groan of your name leaving his lips was more than enough as motivation to keep going; circling your hand around the area your mouth couldn’t reach, and you stroked his cock in languid movements.
Each noise — grunts, hitched breaths, or groans — that escaped his lips, you could feel yourself growing even wetter; a puddle of arousal dampening your underwear. You continued to bop your head onto his cock, drool dripping down your cheeks as you attempted to take him deeper. You knew you shouldn’t have pushed yourself too much — you could barely remember the last time you’d done something this lewd, but you couldn’t help yourself. When there was Zen’in Toji in front of you, feeding your hungry mouth with his fat cock, there was simply no way you’d say no.
The obscene noises of your mouth showing love towards his cock echoed throughout the room; your soft gagging, whimpers, and the slobberish noise your mouth made each time you bobbed your head lower made it nearly impossible for the older man to not buck his hips into your poor lips. The turbulent rainstorm showering outside had long drowned out — the sole sound of Toji’s little grunts and groans lingered in your head; hungry to please him even more.
“Atta fuckin’ girl,” Toji grunted, his hands traveling to your breasts to give your nipples a tight pinch. You clenched your eyes shut, whimpering softly with his cock deep inside your throat; writhing underneath his touches, every graze of his fingers brought you closer and closer to the brink of insanity. You squeezed your legs together tightly, bucking your hips slightly as you continued to please him. “You’re pleasin’ me so well, doll.”
“Ah—mmph…!” You let out a surprised moan, snapping your eyes open to stare at the raven-haired male as he pulled and twirled the erect bud between his rough fingers. Your grip tightened around his hips, and upon pulling away from his shaft, you gave the tip a good suck — grinning at yourself when you felt Toji’s body twitch at your manipulation; his breath hitching at the shocks of pleasure rushing through his veins as his fingers’ squeezed onto your mound. A line of praises escaped his lips in the form of grunts and mutters, his hand cupping your cheek; his thumb softly stroking the tears away.
“Do ya even realize how arousing ya look right now?” Toji’s deep baritone voice rang in your ears as he bucked his hips into your face. He threw his head back, a mix of a hoarse chuckle and grunt leaving his lips. “You’re doin’ so good, doll. Keep on goin’.”
Continuing on with your ministrations, you used both your hands to stroke his dick while you pressed your lips against his tip; bobbing your head down his tip while your hands made twisting motions as you fondled with his girth. You glanced up towards Toji, awaiting some sort of praise –– and he wasted no time; the thrusts of his hips had begun to stagger and a loud groan of your name escaped his lips, coating the insides of your mouth with thick ribbons of white. Pulling away from his length, your eyes returned its focus to the older Zen’in; locking eyes with his as you swallowed his cum, feeling the warm liquid trickle down your throat.
Heavy breaths echoed through the room, Toji’s soft pants mirroring yours; his eyes gazed into yours wantonly and his fingers cupping your chin briefly before he leaned back in for a third kiss. Locking lips and tongues intertwined, he lifted the shirt off his body with ease; revealing his chiseled build. Panting in between kisses, your fingers trailed down his neck – traveling down his chest, and back up to his raven locks.
His hand trailed lower to your pants, unbuttoning and unzipping effortlessly as he pulled the denim past your ass; his thick fingers grazing against your cheeks, slowly snaking underneath the thin fabric of your panties — shivering, you rocked your hips into his hand when he slid a finger across your slick folds. His breath hitched a little, pulling his lips away from yours.
“I didn’t even put a finger yet, but yer drenchin’ it already.” He commented, and you could only watch — in both embarrassment and unadulterated arousal — as he licked your juices off his fingertip.
His hands returned to the denim fabric hanging on to your thighs, pulling them down along with the thin fabric of your underwear. Without uttering another word, he brought his hand between your thighs — spreading them open. Midnight blue eyes locked onto your bare cunt, his mouth nearly salivating at the sight of your arousal dripping down your hole. Glancing down, he was, once again, fully erect.
Extending your arm to his shaft, Toji had stopped you — though, not with words, but with the abrupt movements of his arms hooking around your thighs; pulling your hips closer to his face.
“W-Wait––A-Ah!” The moment you felt his tongue prodding at your folds, your eyes rolled back and a sharp moan escaped your lips; your fingers immediately finding solace in his messy, black hair. Toji didn’t seem to listen, however. His tongue slid up and down your folds before pressing his lips against your sensitive bundle of nerves, sucking harshly whilst flicking his tongue against it.
“Oh my––fuck! Toji!” You mewled out, arching your back and you could feel yourself convulse as he continued to suck and lick messily at your cunt. “T-There’s no way you didn’t sleep with anyone after your divorce,” you stuttered in between moans, “you –– mmph! Hah – y-you have to be lying! You eat pussy too good – AH!”
The older man grunted against your folds, his canines gently grazing your swollen clit. You writhed, your hips twitching in response.
“What are you on, doll? I never lied to ya. Not one bit.” Toji replied, his voice muffled while he continued to stuff your face into your juicy cunt. “It’s been so long since I’ve felt this typa pleasure.”
With his tongue, he licked another long strip across your drenched folds – humming in delight; the timbre of his voice sending vibrations onto your sensitive clit. You bit onto your lip, staring at Toji in lewd desperation while you bucked your hips against his face. The pleasure you felt was surreal; nothing you had ever felt before. It was addicting. You could feel the pressure pitting in your stomach growing warmer – heavier, more insufferable.
“I-I’m close,” you warned, digging your nails into his scalp and he let out a soft grunt, eating your pussy with plenty more fervor.
“Don’ come yet,” Toji said, “hold on for lil’ more longer for me, doll.”
You gulped, nodding at his request. Closing your eyes shut tightly, you tried your darndest to not succumb to the pleasure that was washing over you like strong, persistent waves. Don’t come. Don’t come. Don’t come! Your toes curled, your eyes opening wide in surprise when you felt his two fingers, without any effort, slide into your drenched pussy –– his fingers stretching you out so deliciously; your walls clamped down onto his thick fingers that were knuckles deep inside your cunt.
“Don’t come,” Toji warned you, and you could only stare at him with your heavy-lidded gaze –– too fucked out to care. You rocked your hips against his large hand, a string of incoherent moans and praises escaping your lips each time he fucked his fingers into you; his movements were fast and profound, eliciting such wet and lewd noises from your drenched hole.
“Hm–– T-Toji,” you mewled loudly, throwing your head back against the plush of the pillows; your hands –– one gripping tightly against the wrinkled fabrics of the duvet cover, and the other tangled in the strands of Toji’s mane. “Ahn! P-Please let me come. You’re making me feel so… good..!”
Toes curling, another moan ripped out from your throat, your hips convulsing as he brought his mouth down to your swollen bud –– flicking circles and wrapping his lips around your clit repeatedly, all whilst fucking your pussy with his fingers as if he would with his dick (in your imaginations); curling his fingers, a loud whimper fell from your lips, your hips rocking desperately against his hand as his fingertips would kiss your sweet spot.
“P-Pl-Please,” you could only murmur out, your whole entire body overwhelmed with pleasure and ecstasy. You could feel your eyes rolling back, your whole entire body writhing as he continued on with his ministrations – his fingers fucking you so well, hitting your g-spot with terrifying accuracy. His precise, yet profound movements were making your mind melt, along with the rest of your body. You could barely recount a memory where you came due to someone’s manipulation, often having to cater to your own needs to satiate the need for pleasure. However, now that you were experiencing it now; it was as if shocks of electricity were pulsing throughout your body –– your whole body growing sensitive, yet wanting more.
The mixed sounds of his tongue sloppily making love with your clit paired with the wet noises of his fingers fucking into your hole, along with your mewls and the male’s sexy grunts filled the room. The persistent pressure growing in the pits of your lower abdomen was growing all the more unbearable, a new, foreign feeling began bubbling the more you tried to stop yourself from coming on the spot. It was getting even harder to hold it in now, you swore you could feel yourself burst.
“Fuck, doll.” Toji said, licking his lips at the sight of your pussy clenching tightly around his two fingers curled inside you, watching your juices trickle down your hole. “Look at me when you come, ‘kay? Look at the man that’s gonna make ya come hard.”
You were completely under his submission, your eyes – though heavy-lidded – locked onto his midnight blue eyes; giving him a pleading look. He stared up at you, his lips locked around your clit and his fingers mercilessly doing their work on you. This sensation was something that you had never felt before – panicked, your fingers grasped onto his locks in a vain attempt to pull him away.
“T-Toji!” You whimpered his name, urgency evident in your voice. “I think I-I’m gonna pee!”
“Let it go,” Toji hummed, both his mouth and fingers continuing to pleasure you – edging you closer and closer to your orgasm. “Come for me, doll.”
And so you did, a loud cry of his name rolling off your tongue as your back arched; toes curled and your hips convulsing against his face —the warm juices spraying on his face and his hands, drenching his skin. A hitched groan escaped his lips, and he rubbed your clit with the palm of his hand; eliciting more of your juices to coat his hand while you twitched beneath his touches, strained moans leaving your lips as you rode out your orgasm.
“Hah,” you heaved a breathy sigh, staring blankly at the ceiling for a brief moment before you finally noticed the puddle you left behind after your release, evidenced by the dampened sheets underneath you. Blood rushed to your cheeks, “Fuck, I’m sorry.”
“There’s nothin’ to be embarrassed of, doll.” Toji grinned, the gentle grazes of his fingertips lingering onto your soaked thighs. “If anything, it’s fuckin’ hot. Was it your first time squirtin’ like that?”
You nodded your head, suddenly feeling shy once more. “Mhm. I can’t remember a time when I came this hard — let alone came from someone’s touch.”
“Damn,” Toji said, biting back a haughty grin. “Didn’t expect Naoya to be that much of a disappointment. But then again, it’s not too big of a surprise.”
“I’ll make ya feel much better,” he added, a smirk adorning his face while his arm extended to the nightstand — reaching for the packet of rubber, but you stopped him; your hands cupping his face as you made the man face you.
“You don’t need to use it,” you said softly, your voice soft as you could feel the blood rushing back to your face. You glanced down at his cock, your mouth nearly salivating as you watched the girth jerked slightly in the air; a small amount of his pre-cum trickling out. You were right, this man was indeed an eye candy –– the most delicious one, in fact. “I’m on the pill.”
He stroked his fat cock languidly, his lustful eyes locking onto yours. “You sure about that doll?”
You nodded your head rapidly, it was almost foolish how excited you appeared — however, you were too horny to care. You needed this man inside you, desperately. Hooking your arms underneath your knees, you spread your legs apart for the older man to see — and he was instantly hooked; a hitched breath escaping his lips as he locked his gaze onto your drenched and needy hole — and your face too, looking so fucking lewd; the wanton look in your eyes begging him to fuck. A hoarse grunt escaped his lips, enamored at the heavenly sight.
“Fuck me, Toji.” Pure arousal was laced in your voice as you uttered those words, your tone almost pleading.
Just how could he ever say no to that?
A sharp gasp left your lips when he pulled your legs closer to his hips, his large palms pushing your thighs back as he aligned his cock with your needy heat. You glanced down, lips quivering in anticipation as you watched him further prep you for his girth. He rubbed his thumb across your folds briefly, a low chuckle escaping his throat. “You’re still soakin’ wet, doll. I doubt we’d even need lube at this point.”
He inserted a finger briefly before pulling away, laughing at how your body immediately twitched at his touch.
“You gotta relax for me, ‘kay?” Toji adjured, pressing the tip of his cock against your soaking entrance before slowly entering. Your arms immediately reached out, your hands finding solace around his chiseled back; your nails slightly digging into his skin, your body reeling at the stretch. He was too fucking big, and he only inserted the tip! The feeling of being filled up to the brim was incomparable to your fingers — you were going to melt.
“Relax, doll.” repeated Toji, his voice strained. “You’re suckin’ me in.”
He nestled his face into your neck, peppering kisses and little suckles; thrusting his hips deeper and deeper. Small beads of sweat trickled down his neck as he reached halfway deep inside you, relishing in the way your walls clamped down onto his girth so tightly.
“Fuck,” he hissed under his breath, closing his eyes shut as he reached the hilt – the tip of his cock now kissing your cervix. A shaky whimper left your lips, your arms wrapping tightly around the older Zen’in’s neck.
“You good?” He asked you, his face hovering yours. You nodded, pressing a small kiss on the corner of his lips as you softly rocked your hips against his — a small moan ripping from your throat when his cock grazed your sweet spot as he pulled away slightly, leaving just the tip inside before he slammed his hips back into yours; evoking a loud scream that ripped from your throat, your walls squeezing him like a vice as you trembled underneath his body.
“Shit, doll.” Toji cursed under his breath, a coarse chuckle shortly leaving his lips. “Cumming, already?”
His calloused fingers traced over your hips, thus gripping onto your waist; his nails dug into your skin – his resolve crumbling by the second.
“You can take another one, right doll? For me?” Toji questioned you, raising a brow towards you; watching you attempt to utter a response, but merely trembling as a result when he began moving his hips once more; relishing in the way your body reacted to his –– your hips trembling underneath his, your velvety walls clamping down on him – all whilst giving him a pleading look; your cheeks flushed and your eyes blown in lust.
He chuckled, licking his lips. “Do ya even realize how lewd ya look right now?”
He thrusted his hips roughly into yours, his fat cock sliding in and out of your soaked walls in ease. You stuffed your face into his shoulder, biting onto his collarbone to stifle the myriads of moans that threatened to leave your trembling lips.
“Your pussy’s squeezin’ me so tight,” Toji said, purring as he rocked his hips into yours. “Like the way I’m stretchin’ your little hole out, doll?”
“O-Oh my god,” you whimpered into his neck, your nails digging into his skin; your voice jumpy from each rough thrust Toji made as he pistoned his cock in and out of your cunt; squeezing him back in each time. Each thrust he made, your body bounced along with it -– sliding onto the mattress; he made it his mission to fuck you silly. Jaws slacked and erotic groans escaping his lips, his nails digging into your hips as he continued on with his relentless pace; relishing in the way your body meld into his, your mouth agape as all the words that left your words would be incoherent. It was all so arousing, fucking you into an incoherent mess whilst you begged him for more.
You closed your eyes for a mere moment, reveling in the delightful pleasure — but with a rough thrust, the tip of his cock hitting that spot so deliciously, you shot your eyes wide open with a sharp gasp. Toji’s hand cupped your cheek before squeezing them, his dark eyes staring down at yours with a look of warning.
“Hey, doll — open yer eyes, and don’t ya fuckin’ dare look away. Look at the man who’s fuckin’ you good, yeah?” He warned, nearing his face to yours –– your lips merely inches apart. The husky, strained timbre in his voice sent waves of arousal throughout your whole entire body. Nodding your head eagerly, you could hardly utter a response, any noise that managed to escape your throat were in the forms of moans and incoherent praises.
Your mind was going blank, overwhelmed with pleasure and ecstasy. You were, quite literally, on cloud nine. The pleasure you felt was simply incomparable, and you could only feel yourself drown in it. Rolling your eyes back, another breathy moan escaped your lips; your legs tightly wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer. The pit broiling in your stomach returned, and you could feel it building back up rapidly.
“Mm—Fuck! I-I’m…” You tried to say in between moans, your body jumping up in tandem to the man’s powerful thrusts. “T-Toji… Ngh! I’m so close — you’re fucking me so good�� Ah!”
Your voice alone was nearly enough to get the man to cum, but he relented. He bit his lips and clenched his jaw, reveling in the ecstatic sensations.
“Fuck, doll.” Toji mumbled out a curse, clenching his jaw. He dug his nails deeper into your waist, taking it all within him to not cum right then and there –– especially when your pussy was squeezing him so nicely. A strained moan escaped your lips, riding out your orgasm; your arms pulling the man close. Just as when you had thought you could have a moment to recover, his strong arms had lifted you up from the bed –– manhandling you, and you shortly found yourself on your knees; bent over with your ass high up in the air.
Smack!
Moaning, your body jumped at the stinging sensation of his palm making contact with your ass, feeling the heat radiate across the skin. Though, within seconds, your body melted to his touch; his strong hands caressing and squeezing your derrière, eliciting a soft hum that left your lips ––
“O-Oh!” You pressed your lips together, your eyes immediately rolling to the back of your head when he thrusted his cock back in – drenched in all your juices as he effortlessly slid back in; reaching the hilt, his tip brushing against your cervix as he rocked his hips back and forth; his cock grazing your sweet spot with each thrust he fucked into you. Stuffing your head in the comforts of the pillow, you were getting even more sensitive to his touches; every caress from his fingertips sent shocks of pleasure throughout your whole entire body.
Stifled moans escaped your lips, drool trickling down your lips as you gave in to pleasure; inching closer and closer to your release each time he rocked his hips against yours in an unforgiving pace. It was almost as if he was fucking you to impregnate you –– his brawny arms wrapped tightly around your waist; pulling you away from his cock before he pulled you back down, stretching your walls in the most delicious way. The many months spent feeling so sexually frustrated had melted away in this instant; the bed squeaked beneath your bodies, his thrusts relentless as he led you closer and closer to nirvana.
“Ah, shit. You feel so fuckin’ good, doll” You could hear Toji’s grunts from behind you. “Hah, this pussy’s all for me, yeah? Hah—Mm…”
“Mmm… Fuck, yes! ‘S all for you, Toji — Ah!” You replied through stifled moans, your voice muffled by the pillow pressed against your face. “Y-You’re fucking me so deep…!”
“Atta girl,” Toji hummed and despite being unable to see him in that moment, you knew very well that he had a smug smirk tugged at the corners of his lips while he continued to fuck you.
You lifted your head slightly from the pillow, turning your face slightly towards Toji — a look of concentration was plastered across his face; beads of sweat rolling down his face and neck, strands of his hair stuck onto his forehead, his teeth gritted against one another. Fuck, he was too sexy. Loud mewls left your mouth, thrusting your hips into his cock as you desperately chased after your release.
“K-Kiss me, Toji.” You said, your voice pleading. An abrupt moan escaped your lips shortly after, followed with a small whine when you felt his large hand wrap around your throat –– hoisting you up slightly while he pistoned his cock inside you, and he pressed his lips against yours; muffling the loud moans and whimpers that tumbled out of your mouth as he tangled his tongue with yours. He traveled his hand below your abdomen, his calloused fingertips rubbing firm circles against your sensitive bud –– his lips not once ever leaving yours. You whined in his lips, feeling yourself losing strength in your arms. However, with his one arm hooked around your chest, he held your body up as he continued to fuck and rub your pussy. You were about to melt.
This all felt too fucking good.
“Ah! Mmm—Ngh! I-I’m gonna come again––! I… Hah… Fuck… ‘m so fucking close — please, Toji. I wanna come so fucking bad––!” You whined in his mouth, bucking your hips desperately against his; your legs twitched each time his hips met yours, hitting that sweet spot each time he fucked his fat cock inside your velvety walls. “O-Oh my god, this feels s’fucking goooood.”
“Yeah?” Toji queried, groaning at your words, and you nodded your head eagerly. Suddenly, your face was once again pressed to the pillows; his large hand pinning your head in place while the other returned to your clit –– rubbing rough circles on the sensitive bud as he rutted his hips into yours with an unwavering fervor.
“Shit. Come for me then, doll.” He grinned, clenching his jaw as he slammed his hips into yours, driving your body forward on the mattress.
The lewd noises of his hips rocking into yours, mixed with your wanton cries and his groans filled the room; only increasing in volume the closer you were towards reaching your orgasm. Given his staggered thrusts, you were certain he was also close.
“Mmm—Toji..” You mewled his name in between your needy whimpers and moans. “Hah! Ngh… Cum inside me…Ah! Want you… Mmm… to fill me up.”
Toji’s arms were wrapped around your waist, pulling you into a tight embrace as he fucked you arduously; his lips latching onto your collarbone, peppering a line of kisses and love bites.
A loud cry ripped from your lips, your whole entire body trembling as your orgasm washed over you; your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you arched your back against his chest in pure bliss — your hips convulsing as your juices, once again, sprayed all over his cock and the mattress. The raven-haired man tightened his grip on your breasts, practically squeezing the mound as he succumbed to the rhapsodies of his release.
“Oh, fuuuck.” Toji let out a drawn out groan, slumping his body atop yours as the tip of his cock slammed against your cervix, coating your walls with thick layers of white, warm fluid. Breathing heavily and as small grunts escaped his lips, his brows furrowed at the way your walls clenched tightly around him in an attempt to milk him dry. Languidly, he pulled out of your heat, his dark eyes glued onto the masterpiece he had created –– watching his seed trickle down your hole. Grinning, he stuck his finger back in, pushing his cum back inside your wet folds.
Heavy breaths filled the room, then returned the noises of the beads of rain smacking against the window. He glanced back up at you, his gaze locked onto your flushed face before he leaned in, pressing a chaste peck on your lips and slumping on the bed next to you.
“Are you feelin’ alright, doll?” Questioned Toji, caressing his fingers against your cheek. You nodded in response, cracking an enormous smile.
“I feel better than ever,” you said, nuzzling your head into his neck; your arms snaking around his muscular arm. “I loved every moment of it.”
“Oh, yeah?” Toji smirked, brushing a strand of hair away from your face, placing it behind your ear. “Me, too.”
He shortly left the bed, making wide strides towards the washroom –– returning with a towel in his hand. Reaching out for the towel, you were about to thank him but he stopped you; his hands softly pushing you back down on the mattress.
“Oomph…!” Was the sound you made as your back made contact with the soft mattress, and you snapped your gaze to Toji’s.
“Lemme take care of you, doll. You don’ gotta worry bout anythin’ else.”
You sighed in relaxation, relishing in the sensations of the soft and warm towel pressed against your skin; cleaning off the sweat and excess juices. “Thank you, Toji.”
He replied with a low hum, his hands caressing your body in a newfound tenderness. Your heart swelled at the gesture, your lips cracking a soft smile as you continued to watch the older man take good care of you and your worn out body.
“If you’re not feelin’ too sore yet, care to join me in the shower after this?”
As if all the fatigue had instantly evaporated from your body, you had never uttered yes so fast until this very moment.
EXTRA SCENE — !
NAOYA COULDN’T BELIEVE HIS EYES, his body frozen in place like a deer in headlights as he stared into the small crack of the door of the dressing room, his eyes unable to peer away from the sight of his older cousin fucking his ex-girlfriend like a madman; his flushed ears picking up on the lewd sounds of your stifled mewls paired with the squelching noises of both your bodies connecting together. His mouth was agape, he had never heard you make such a sound — filled with wanton, let alone seen you make an expression so obscenely lewd.
He glanced down at his own trousers, noticing the ache that was beginning to grow beneath his boxers. Shit.
When he first stumbled across you at his cousin, Zen’in Mai’s wedding reception with Airi clinging closely onto his arm, the last thing he expected was to see you by his cousin’s side — and what was even more frustrating was how Toji wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to his side without breaking eye contact. It was almost as if Toji was mocking him, especially with that smug smirk that tugged at the corner of his lips.
No words were exchanged between you and the blond male, there wasn’t any need to.
Naoya had thought nothing of it, at first. After all, it had been months since you had both taken your separate ways; he immediately made his relationship with his coworker official. Although Airi could be extremely clingy at times, he felt happy — at ease, even. After all, he could finally love his woman out in the open without any more shame. Though, after the initial encounter with you and Toji, he never crossed paths with you again during the reception. He could only stare from the distance, watching you happily chat with both Maki and Mai for a brief moment before he noticed a bright pair of eyes peering at him, and he shifted his gaze onto his girlfriend’s.
An hour had nearly passed, but Naoya was, undeniably, growing the biggest urge to simply walk out of the reception and head on home. While everyone busied themselves on the dance floor, chatting away with the other guests, or getting their nth plate of the night, Naoya had excused himself to the washroom.
Strolling down the empty hallways, his eyes scanned around the corridor to look for any familiar restroom signs — the blaring music playing that the venue rang in his ears. He stuck his hands into his pocket, feeling the irritation slowly getting to him. But then, all those feelings of growing frustration came to an abrupt halt when he heard your voice and that of another man’s. He lifted his head, tilting it over to the side in curiosity. There was noise coming from the dressing room, the door up ahead, and he could see a little bit of light peeking through the door.
“Babe,” Naoya could hear your playful whines through the door, “I-I don’t think we should do this here..! What if someone sees us?”
“Then let them see us. This is ya fault ya know?” Toji said, his voice low. “You don’t think I haven’t noticed you sneakin’ around, pressing yer ass against my dick? There’s only so much patience I can take in, doll.”
He could hear you stifle a moan, letting out a sharp gasp as Toji thrusted his hips into yours.
“You dirty girl, look at how yer pussy’s grippin’ so nicely around my cock. You love my cock, dont’cha?”
“Mhm—Ah! Yes, baby!” You moaned pathetically, taking everything within you to control your volume.
Naoya’s hand immediately slapped over his mouth, feeling the blood rush to his face. He knew he shouldn’t have gotten closer to the door — he could either 1) turn around to leave and return to the reception, or 2) leave to continue searching for the bathroom. Either way, the best course of action was to leave, yet he still found himself standing in front of the door — staring between the small crack in complete awe at the sight before him.
Toji had you perched up atop the wooden dresser, your legs wrapped tightly around his hips as he slammed his hips into your drenched heat; his hands snaked underneath your dress, squeezing your ass as he pulled you closer unto his cock. You writhed, throwing your head back as you could feel your eyes rolling to the back of your head; your mind was going numb due to the pleasure your older boyfriend was giving you — stretching your pussy out in the most delicious way possible.
“Y-You’re so fucking big, baby…” You mewled out, a sharp gasp leaving your lips with each thrust he slammed his fat cock into you; evoking obscene noises of your hips meeting each other. “I-I wan’ more, please… baby—!”
His mouth was agape, he had never heard you make such a sound — filled with wanton, let alone seen you make an expression so obscenely lewd; your face all flushed, your eyes clouded in unadulterated lust as drool trickled down your lips.
Naoya glanced down at his own trousers, noticing the ache that was beginning to grow between his legs.
“Shit,” he mumbled out, unable to control the blood rushing to both his face and his erection. He should’ve run away –– he had to, but for some reason his feet stayed planted on the ground and his eyes were unable to look away from the pornographic scene; your hands all tangled up in his older cousin’s raven locks, his lips and tongue messily locked with yours — muffling your needy moans as he continued to fuck you in a relentless pace, the head of his cock kissing your cervix each and every time.
Each noise that was elicited from your lips sent shocks of arousal straight to his heat, and he gritted his teeth. He knew this was wrong — hell, it even felt wrong. Yet, his feet wouldn’t budge.
Shiiiiit.
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#★ 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐛𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#toji smut#toji x reader smut#toji x you#toji zenin#jujutsu kaisen toji#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jjk fanfic#jjk x reader#jjk x you#jujustu kaisen fanfic#jujutsu kaisen x reader#anime smut#jjk x reader smut#fushiguro toji smut
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hellooooooo! I read yell and flight and let me tell u I was HOOKED. I cannot get fran off my mind the way this man is!!! It’s driving me wild and it’s barely been abt a week or two seeing him all over my socials👩🏻🦯➡️ I was wondering if you are still taking reqs obviously for fran? I know deep down in my bones that this man is so clingy like physically so maybe like him hugging the reader a lot like alot all the time, like long cuddle sessions just talking abt life?
xxxxxxx thx in advance
SEVEN TIMES WHEN FRANCO COULDN'T KEEP HIS HANDS TO HIMSELF - FC43
listen up : no warnings just some kissing!! this is cute so i hope you enjoy <3 franco x girlfriend!reader
word count : 1249
⋆。‧˚⋆
When I first started dating Franco, it was obvious that his love language was physical touch. Back then however, I didn’t know how much he depended on it.
⋆༺
1. I’ve never been more excited for Franco than I was at that first race in Monza. As soon as I could, I ran to him.
He was still in his race suit, grinning that stupid smile that I so love. He was sweaty and gross and I couldn’t be happier.
“Corazón…” He wrapped his arms around me, resting his head on my shoulder even as I jumped up and down.
“I’m so proud of you!” I pulled him tighter, his curls brushing my face. “That was so sick!” I pushed him back to move my hands while I spoke but his hand stayed on my waist.
He let me recount his own race back to him as he just stared at me dreamily, “I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He laughed and pulled me in again, kissing me this time.
People cheered and whistled as I smiled against Franco’s lips. He kept that same hand on me all day, holding me close as if the two hours he was racing for was time lost for us.
He never cared who was watching, as long as I was in his arms, nothing else mattered.
⋆༺
2. “Let’s stay here.” He mumbled into my skin, laying completely on top of me with his face on my stomach.
I laughed, running my hands through his hair, “We have to go Fran… You were the one who said we would!” He frowned up at me when I took my hands from his hair.
I slipped my hands back through his waves and he smiled happily again, wrapping his arms tighter around my waist.
I look at his arms flexing against me, “Darling…”
He frowned up at me again, making me laugh and having to physically push him off of me, “Ay no…” He groaned as I stood, smoothing out my skirt.
“Come on!” I had to walk out the door just to get Franco out of the room.
⋆༺
3. We were at a charity gala and I felt like a genuine magnet. A magnet that only attracts Franco's hands. I smirked at him, “Like what you see?” I spun around in my red dress that hit right before my black heels, his hands staying on me as I turned around.
His gaze dragged up my body, nodding silently. Franco is never silent. He gave my waist a little squeeze before kissing my cheek and pulling me into his side.
The whole night, the only time he left my side was when I went to the restroom. He was waiting with drinks when I got back, I can’t help but smile at his stupid face that looks way too happy to be buying things for me.
We ended up talking to Lando and his date, she was definitely a model and honestly I don’t know if he even knew her name. When the girl left, Lando eyed us both, “You’re making me look bad!” He ran his hand through his curls as I rested my head on Franco’s shoulder.
“Not my fault that you don’t like your date!” Franco argued and Lando pulled his lips into a thin line.
“I like her just fine! You two are just disgustingly affectionate.”
⋆༺
4. “I’m just having a hard time, Franco!” I sat on the couch, my head in my hands. We’d been fighting like this for an hour and getting nowhere.
He paced in front of me, turning to me and placing his hand on my chin so I would look up.
“I’m sorry.” He whispered as tears ran down my face, sinking to his knees, “I’m so sorry… I know you though. You can get through this.” His hands moved up the outside of my thighs, holding me tight like he always does.
⋆༺
5. I could practically feel Franco’s gaze burning a hole into the man across from me’s head.
He started over to us as soon as he saw the man take a step closer. He cleared his throat, placing his hand on the small of my back as he smiled at the man.
Franco leaned closer to me and the man left in an instant. I smiled softly at him, raising a brow, “Possessive, much?”
He sipped his drink, “With you? Always.”
⋆༺
6. “You look delicious.” I laugh out loud as he says it in my ear, I turn and swat his chest. The club music was loud and the lights were even brighter.
“Franco.” He knows he’s gotten to me, a smirk prominently on his face as he takes my hand in his and pulls me gently out of the crowd.
We make it to the bathroom, one stall, before Franco has his hands on my ass and his mouth on mine. “Needy.” I mumbled into his mouth.
“No shit, have you seen yourself?” I laughed as he pushed me up against the wall, his hand slipping below the hem of my blue dress.
He slips his tongue in my mouth, cupping my face and holding onto my waist tightly. I sometimes forget he’s an actual athlete until he brings his strength into the bedroom. Or in this case… the club bathroom.
⋆༺
7. Franco sat between my legs, my hands in his hair as he intently listened to the football match that was playing.
He's talking about some of the players but I'm busy braiding his hair which is quite hard given the length.
He moved his hands away from his water bottle that he was fidgeting with, playing them on my ankles and making me shiver. His touch is effortless and sometimes I think he doesn’t even realize because he was definitely focused on the game.
His hands slid upwards, brushing over my calf then back down. He repeated this for five minutes until I finished with his partially braided hair.
The game was still playing as he slid his fingers up my legs once more, making me shiver. He didn’t even realize until I pushed my hands over his and his head leaned back to look at me.
He smiled and kissed my hand, turning around and kneeling in front of me.
I watched his muscles move as he extended his arms to wrap around my waist. He looked up at me, his green eyes shining while his hair looked like a mess. “Are you excited for today?” We were in his drivers room, his suit unzipped.
“Yes. Because you’re here.” His hand rubbed against my face softly, like he wanted to memorize every part of me.
“Do you get nervous?”
“Of course. I don’t want to mess up when you’re were.” I frowned at his words, caressing his neck.
“I don’t care what you do, love… as long as you’re safe.” He sighed and laid his head on my knees.
“You that worried?” I nodded. “I don’t want you to be.”
“Well I’m your girlfriend and it’s my job because you chose a job where your life is in danger every weekend.” He laughed at my sarcastic tone, shaking his head and kissing my knee.
“I like that you care. But I promise you corazón, you cannot get rid of me that easily.” He kissed me softly, I kissed him back.
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