#that ended up way longer than i thought

[idkwhatsgoingonargh]

I recently met up with my closest friends after a long time. We had some drinks and just talked. Naturally the conversation at some point ended up in guys. I’m aroace and was kind of dreading this as I also get always asked if I’ve found anyone, and always have to once again explain that I’m not interested.

But when I went “I’m not interested in that” my friend said “But it doesn’t have to be like that right? Just have you met anyone cool or interesting”

I swear to god my brain short circuited. Like she knows about queer platonic relationships?! I never explained that part to them… what?

Anyway she clearly learned about my identity from somewhere and I felt so appreciated in that moment and definitely didn’t show it to her like I should’ve, as I just said “yeah, no one like that either” and the convo moved on.

[dykedvonte]

Curly not immediately punishing Jimmy for assaulting Anya is something I don’t think a lot of people are viewing in the complex context for Curly as the superior to both of them and closest confidante they had.

Like I am in no way saying he didn’t under react or fail Anya by not being harsh or direct with Jimmy but it really is the case that he really couldn’t. Imagine being stuck in such a confined space with very little areas to genuinely hold someone if they commit a crime. It’s not like this was an event that occurred before they departed or that they have easy communication with The Pony Express to ask for how to proceed when something like this arises. Not to mention, Jimmy’s relative power in relation to Anya as the co-pilot and second in command, he has the knowledge and access to do something to her had Curly directly punished him in this setting.

They were also Curly’s friends. It’s not just the case of him mediating something between his subordinates but people he is personally invested in don’t want to see spiral further in Anya’s case while also not wanting believe his friend go that bad in Jimmy’s actions. They were both suicidal and Curly putting Jimmy’s stability first is both out of bias but also the fact he’s aware at some level Jimmy is a danger to himself and others if not constantly placated. Combined with the fact he was in denial or just not piecing together what Anya said it’s hard to say what he buying time for and what he had treat as urgent. This isn’t even saying he doesn’t care about Anya but he’s not going jump to the worst conclusions about his friends even if part of him acknowledges the evidence saying so. It’s a complicated thing but he’s still human and needed to process it on top of trying to keep a ship that already took on a lot of water from further sinking, metaphorically.

I just personally think that while Curly failed Anya, it was a scenario where there wasn’t much he could do to the best thing by her safely and like Jimmy, we are underestimating what a good leader would do in a very fragile and tense situation like he was in. By the time he may have been ready and had a plan, things were much too late.

[arguablysomaya]

Nightwing's weird fem-coding

! LONG POST !

Finally got around to jotting down my thoughts on the weird way that Dick Grayson (Nightwing) often occupies female-coded roles without being a particularly feminine guy. This is entirely due to me procrastinating on my finals. Okay!

Dick has often been cited as the hero who plays into the "female gaze", and he takes up some key roles that are typically reserved for women characters.

A large portion of Dick's fem-coding is contingent on his being with his family, and when he's not with them, this fem-coding kinda drops away, such as when he's with his various teams or acting solo.

His most prominent (and imo, complex) femme-coded role is:

-> Eldest Daughter + Widow

Eldest daughter syndrome means " frequently feeling like you’re not doing enough, like you’re struggling to maintain a veneer of control, like the entire household relies on your diligence." It's born out of the unique way that first-born girls are expected to take on adult roles around the household before they've had an opportunity to fully experience childhood (an opportunity their younger siblings will have, in part due to this sacrifice). It creates a strong sense of independence and a desire to be a good role model, but also leads to undue pressure and perfectionism.

Dick acts as a central emotional pillar for those in his family. To the point that when he fakes his death, it breaks something fundamental in the family dynamic:

Not only is it repeatedly made clear that Bruce depends on Dick to act as a lifeline for his own mental struggles, but moreover, his siblings do as well. In a very literal sense, the maintenance of the batfamily rests on Dick's shoulders. Bruce is so rarely available for emotional support that these children turn to the next best thing, which, to be fair, is better than what Dick had growing up. He has to clean up so many breakdowns, it's honestly pretty staggering.

As the OG sidekick, Dick receives quite a bit of hero worship, particularly from younger heroes/sidekicks, who look toward him for guidance. As a naturally upbeat and welcoming person, Dick ends up in the position of bringing light to everyone, not just Bruce. For example, here's Cassandra:

This balancing effect is unique to Dick's skill set. However, this can (and does) backfire very easily. The same pragmatism Bruce engages in hurts extra bad when coming from Dick: like when Dick had to take Robin away from Tim. Not to mention just how intimidating Dick's legacy is, which can create resentment when his successors aren't able to play this role so easily. For example, Jason both before and after his death expressed insecurity that he felt he was constantly being compared to Dick, and falling short.

As the original character that people think of when they think "sidekick", DG Robin (and his successors) had the advantage of not losing prominence even as his contemporaries (Kid Flash, Aqualad, Wonder Girl, etc.) were de-prioritized in favor of independent teenaged heroes (like Cyborg, Beast Boy, Raven, and Starfire). But that means Robin as a concept now has to deal with questions that weren't so prominent in the earlier decades, such as: "How do we justify a grown-ass man using a child (and in fact, children) as emotional crutches?"

It's icky to think about, but there's no denying that early Batman and Robin got side eyes for homosexual subtext. I mean, they literally call each other "partners". So while that "subtext" was, and remains, just audience speculation, given Dick is literally Bruce's adopted son, there is room, I believe, to call into question how healthy it is for Bruce's oldest kid to be taking on a nearly-parental role and be a core pillar of Bruce's emotional regulation.

Hot take here, but I think Dick's relationship with Bruce was/has been pretty emotionally incestuous for a long time.

-> Emotional incest

"Emotional incest[...] is a type of emotional abuse performed by a parent. In cases of emotional incest, parents rely on their children for significant emotional support, which is a reversal of roles. Emotional incest is more than just relying on your kids on occasion—rather, it is an extreme dependence on them." (There's a pretty good argument to be made that Bruce has been emotionally incestuous with all his Robins, especially Dick and DEFINITELY Tim, but y'know. Small steps.)

Emotional incest is a semi-common consequence of eldest daughter syndrome; the natural conclusion of deputizing a child to manage the other children combining with an inability to see the child as a child, still in need of emotional guidance, but more like an adult capable of shouldering the burdens of grown-ups dumping their traumas on them.

To be clear here, while emotional incest may not be incest in the most traditional, taboo sense, it is still abuse. It's putting a burden on a child they shouldn't have to carry, even for children that aren't dealing with such extreme burdens as "grown-ass man running around in a fursuit needs me to keep him from getting himself killed". It's a perversion of a healthy parent-child relationship, where the child is treated more like a partner than a child. In Dick's case, it further exacerbates the parentification he already experiences. This is made more explicit when Bruce "dies" and Dick is cast into a sort of "Widow" role.

Dick reluctantly dons the cowl in an attempt to bring order to his family members. He's also left to parent Damian, alone. He has to make the decision to take Robin from Tim, and try to deal with the fallout from that decision. He has to put a stop to Jason's fratricidal rampage. He's made into the de-facto head of the family.

And the thing about this is: Dick's not even bad at it. In comparison to Bruce's litany of disasters-in-parenting, Dick does a pretty bang-up job of managing his siblings, heading the Justice League, and being Batman. But the crucial point is that he does this at the expense of his own mental health, which is the crux of eldest daughter syndrome. There's no denying that at the time, Dick was most certainly the best choice for New Father Figure, but it was a choice he was pushed into, and a sacrifice he had to make. When this sense of responsibility to the point of self-sacrifice is pushed to its logical conclusion, it has the effect of making Dick a Martyr-type figure.

-> Protector/Mama Bear/Avenger

Dick has shown repeatedly that his hot button is his family. From Tony Zucco to allowing Blockbuster to be killed after the villain targeted Haley's Circus, going after Nightwing's family is a pretty good way to earn yourself an asskicking. Probably the most infamous example of this is when Dick thought the Joker had killed Tim, beating the clown to death to avenge both Tim and Jason.

And while this role isn't particularly feminine, I do think it's interesting that Dick protects his family members from each other with almost the same frequency that he protects them from outside threats. He's pretty notorious for wrangling Damian and Tim, foiling Jason's murder plans, and most importantly, beating the shit out of Bruce whenever he crosses a line, such as when Bruce asks Dick to conceal being alive from their family to join Spyral or when Bruce wanted to abandon the Bruce Wayne persona after the murder of Vesper Fairchild. Or of course, more recently after Bruce's latest MK-ULTRA shenanigans.

This basically puts Dick in the position of being the glue that holds the family together, at basically all times, but especially in times of conflict. This also means he's put in the dangerous position of bodily defending his younger siblings from Bruce's wrath or irresponsibility, a position made even more awkward given the whole emotional incest thing.

That's not to say that Dick's relationship with his family is 100% unhealthy. Dick and his family members (including Bruce!) feel legitimate affection and care for each other. There are times when the dynamics here are indeed healthy. And like most people with eldest daughter syndrome, the unhealthy nature of this dynamic is usually understated. Oldest sibling syndrome is often just an unavoidable consequence of how parenting works. So while I am of the opinion that this dynamic is often unhealthy, hot take: I'm fine with that.

Now, though I've just listed some tropes that he only falls into around family, Dick also falls into some fem-coding all the time, regardless of who he's with, and these have to do mostly with his sexuality.

-> Sexual Assault & Harassment

Yeah, so nobody is surprised that this is a factor. Look up any list of the top ten hottest/sexiest/most attractive male superheroes, I guarantee 9/10 times Nightwing is number 1. However, unlike his father, whose attractiveness is usually played as a part of the male wish-fulfillment fantasy, something people aspire to be, Dick's attractiveness more often makes him an object of desire- very similar to how most attractive female characters are perceived.

And as an object of desire, Dick Grayson is constantly having to deal with being objectified.

Now, Dick Grayson being an attractive character is not the problem. Dick Grayson being sexually assaulted isn't even the problem. the problem is that he keeps being harassed, assaulted, and raped in ways that are flagrantly nonconsensual, and yet it's not treated with the seriousness it deserves. In fact, it took a full decade for Devin Grayson to retract her previous statement and admit that yes, the rooftop scene with Catalina Flores was in fact rape, and it's never been acknowledged in-universe (though, comics have always been atrocious at calling out sexual abuse of all kinds, let alone that which targets men).

Hell, even when he in-universe calls it out, he's dismissed immediately and the story continues like nothing happened.

Like???

Dick's adult sexcapades (which were consensual and enthusiastic) have long contrasted with the numerous times he's been harassed; times in which he comes across as bored, exasperated, and even frustrated with his own attractiveness and the vulnerable position it often leaves him in.

This puts him in the rare (in comics) position of being a male character who consistently and near-exclusively has his sexual agency and boundaries violated by women - a position that authors uniformly refuse to examine despite writing him into it all the fucking time.

Other characters around him frequently make comments passing off this harassment and assault as a natural consequence of Dick's own attractiveness, making "jokes" that essentially amount to "I understand why someone would want to assault him". Which- UH?

There is also, of course, the unavoidable reality that as an acrobat and an aerialist, he receives a very specific type of sexual harassment

the nature of nightwing's fight style necessitates a type of tight-fitting suit that male heroes typically don't go for: an extremely slick suit with bare-minimum armour that again, makes him vulnerable in a way most male heroes aren't, but a style female heroes wear all the time, whether it makes sense for them or not. This of course then allows artists to draw attention to this fact by posing Nightwing in poses usually reserved for femme fatales:

And unlike the Hawkeye Initiative, these poses are (largely) unironic, and not played for jokes. Dick isn't arching his back or looking over his shoulder to poke fun at how female heroes are treated; he does so because the artist (clearly correctly) sincerely believed these poses would play into the unironic gaze of the audience, and also probably thought it was hot. It's the same line of thought artists use when posing femme fatales.

He's even been known to use his sexuality as a bargaining chip, much like more traditional Femme Fatales. In Batman and Harley Quinn (2017), he refers to sleeping with Harley Quinn after being kidnapped by her as one of "the things I do for Gotham", to which she responds "I'm taking that as a 'yes'." And that's uh- not how consent works.

And this particularly sucks because- HELLO? The opportunity to explore the very real and tragically underacknowledged phenomenon of sexual violence against men is literally invaluable, especially with such a prominent character. It's one thing to ignore that men face sexual violence, it's another, entirely more unforgivable thing to continuously and explicitly depict such scenarios and play them off as jokes or not as serious as they clearly are. But what did I expect from an industry that has never had a good track record on sexual violence anyway.

-> Queercoding?

There's also of course the fact that DC has been, as of late, dropping hints that Dick might be bisexual.

That on it's own doesn't mean anything, but when paired with the fact that DC has been angling toward giving Dick a similar playboy persona that Bruce has, just with men included, it's just very interesting.

(BTW: The likelihood DC actually commits to making Dick bi is, uh, not a lot, but if they're gonna stick with this weird closet stuff for a while, let's hope they do so in a way that doesn't make him sound like a cross between Donald Trump and Harry Styles next time? Please?)

Anyway, all of this is basically to say I am forever fascinated by the gender dynamics of Dick Grayson, likely due to the fact that I'm projecting all my eldest daughter traumas onto him, and that someone who's background is in Gender Studies needs to get on this shit if they haven't already. I just love this character sm.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Ok, I think I have a pretty good idea of why a lot of Akechi's dialogue is... like that.

So, even before his confidant truly started, I noticed that he has a real knack for directing the flow of a conversation. This is very fitting for someone who is both a detective and skilled at interviews - when there is a topic and a goal, Akechi is in his element.

All this to say, he's actually kind of controlling when it comes to conversational flow. He probes for information, or turns the conversation around to a particular topic, usually the Phantom Thieves. He manages to take a few of Joker's dialogue options and spin them so they sound mildly incriminating in the context he's placed them in - the only way to truly get around this is to pick answers that feign indifference, and even then, that's more than a bit telling. He's clearly very good at this kind of thing.

But then, we get conversations where either Joker does something he didn't expect, or else he doesn't have a particular goal in mind - and the conversation stutters. In the first instance, Joker does something (a particularly egregious example is putting his glasses on him and fluffing his hair in rank 3) which both leaves him wrong-footed and no longer in perfect control of the situation. He just kind of... freezes, for awhile. It's hilarious. He has no idea how to respond.

He picks up control again in the phone call afterwards, having chosen to play into it, turning this "fooling the crowds" into a kind of game or secret between them. Nice save.

But in instances where there isn't an obvious topic and the goal is somewhat nebulous, for instance, that one Leblanc scene, it becomes pretty apparent that Akechi doesn't have the right "script" to go off of. Again, it's particularly notable in that scene, because I'm fairly sure he didn't have any specific reason to be at Leblanc, other than him looking for a quiet spot now that public opinion has turned on him. And because there isn't anything specific he's digging for, he kind of just ends up throwing things at the wall to see what will stick. Probing for any kind of recognizable reaction that he can jump on and work with, and that just doesn't really happen in this scene.

He references Sae, a woman in a respectable position, to Sojiro, but instead of that netting a welcome, it earns his ire, given Sae's recent actions against him. He then tries to greet Joker, his... rival? friend? enemy? person who at least seems to somewhat enjoy spending time with him? But Joker's responses are somewhat short, and Akechi practically wilts. He tries to commiserate by oversharing. He tries to involve Futaba and reaches out for the only topic of interest he can think of around "young people". He compliments the coffee. He compliments Joker. He tries to invoke that connection between them. None of it is really sticking, nor does it serve as a jumping off point for him to steer the conversation, or even really start one.

So, he basically just ends up having a one-sided chat with himself and then leaves. Hilarious. Also a little sad, if I'm being honest. It's really giving "guy with no friends who only knows how to speak to adults" energy. If there's no specific purpose to the exchange, or he is not in control of its direction, he seems to be kind of out of his depth. He succeeds only in being a little awkward and confusing, more than anything.

[galacticlamps]

ok I have A Lot of thoughts about the staircase confession (well really about Edwin's whole character arc, but all roads lead to rome) but for now I just wanna say that, yes, I was bracing myself for something to go terribly wrong when I first watched it, and yes, part of me was initially worried its placement might be an uncharacteristically foolish choice made in the name of Drama or Pacing or Making a Compelling Episode of Television but at the expense of narrative sense--

But I wanna say that having taken all that into account, and watched it play out, and sat with it - and honestly become rather transfixed by it - I really think it's a beautifully crafted moment and truly the only way that arc could've arrived at such a satisfying conclusion.

And if I had to pinpoint why I not only buy it but also have come to really treasure it, I'd have to put it down to the fact that it genuinely is a confession, and nothing else.

That moment is an announcement of what Edwin has come to understand about himself, but because it takes the form of a character admitting romantic feelings for such a close friend, I think it can be very easy, when writing that kind of thing, to imbue it with other elements like a plea or a request or even the start of a new relationship that, intentionally or not, would change the shape of the moment and can quickly overshadow what a huge deal the telling is all on its own. But that's not the case here. Since it is only a confession, unaccompanied by anything else, and since we see afterward how it was enough, evidently, to fix the strangeness that had grown between him & Charles, we're forced to understand that it was never Edwin's feelings that were actually making things difficult for him - it was not being able to tell Charles about them. 'Terrified' as he's been of this, Edwin learns that his feelings don't need to either disappear completely or be totally reciprocated in order for him to be able to return to the peace, stability, and security of the relationship with which he defines his existence - and the scale of that relief a) tells us a hell of a lot about Edwin as a character and b) totally justifies the way his declaration just bursts out of him at what would otherwise be such a poorly chosen moment, in my opinion.

Whether or not they are or ever could be reciprocated, Edwin's feelings are definitively proven not to be the problem here - only his potential choice to bottle it up - his repression - is. And where that repression had once been mainly involuntary, a product of what he'd been through, now that he's got this new awareness of himself, if he still fails to admit what he's found either to himself or to the one person he's so unambiguously close with, then that repression will be by his own choice and actions.

And he won't do that. Among other things, he's coming into this scene having just (unknowingly) absolved the soul of his own school bully and accidental killer by pointing out a fact that is every bit as central to his self-discovery as anything about his sexuality or his attraction to Charles is: the idea that "If you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell"

So narratively speaking, of course it makes sense that Edwin literally cannot get out of Hell until he stops punishing himself - and right now, the thing that's torturing him is something he has control over. It's not who he is or what he feels, but what he chooses to do with those feelings that's hurting him, and he's even already made the conscious choice to tell Charles about them, he was just interrupted. But now that they're back together and he's literally in the middle of an attempt to escape Hell, there is absolutely no way he can so much as stop for breath without telling Charles the truth. Even the stopping for breath is so loaded - because they're ghosts, they don't need to breathe, but also they're in Hell, so the one thing they can feel is pain, however nonsensical. And Edwin certainly is in pain. But whether he knows what he's about to do or not when he says he 'just needs a tick,' a breather is absolutely not what's gonna give him enough relief to keep climbing - it's fixing that other hurt, though, that will.

Like everything else in that scene, there's a lot of layers to him promising Charles "You don't have to feel the same way, I just needed you to know" - but I don't think that means it isn't also true on a surface level. It's the act of telling Charles that matters so much more than whatever follows it, and while that might have gone unnoticed if anything else major had happened in the same conversation, now we're forced to acknowledge its staggering and singular importance for what it is. The moment is well-earned and properly built up to, but until we see it happen in all its wonderful simplicity, and we see the aftermath (or lack thereof, even), we couldn't properly anticipate how much of a weight off Edwin's shoulders merely getting to share the truth with Charles was going to be, why he couldn't wait for a better, safer opportunity before giving in to that desire, or how badly he needed to say it and nothing else - and I really, really love the weight that act of just being honest, seen, and known is given in their story/relationship.

[anzuhan]

[wispforever]

[fazedlight]

“Nervous, Lena?” It was clear that the blonde was amused - but her eyes weren’t mocking. If anything, they seemed quite understanding, and Lena tried to shake off some of the tension that she was feeling. Young doesn’t mean incompetent, Lena thought to herself, thinking of the conversation Kara had with the student earlier. She literally flies all the time… “Yeah,” Lena confessed. “Not a fan of flying. I’ve never been in one of these small planes.” Kara picked up the keys that Winn had placed on the counter, along with her bag and the second headset. “I’ll take good care of you,” Kara said.

Lena Luthor is an MIT masters student who decides to face her fear of flying. Kara Danvers is a flight instructor with a dream she knows she’ll never reach.

Chapter 3 of the Aviation AU is up!

(Happy birthday, Kara 🎂❤️)

[bleue-flora]

You know, I feel like we don’t talk enough about how sensitive and painful scar tissue is. Maybe because most people haven’t had stitches and huge, deep cuts. But let me just share as someone who’s had quite a few surgeries and injuries, scars are really tender. Like I cut the side of my pinky pretty deeply and I couldn’t wear rings on my ring finger for like a year because the ring rubbing against it hurt so much. And after I got my eyebrow stitched up, I couldn’t pencil my brow for about a year and whenever my sunglasses bumped against it, it hurt so badly. The surgery scar I have on the base of my thumb from when I was 4 years old still hurts if I’m stretching or using my thumb too much. The bigger the scar the worse it is too, which makes sense. I have two scars about half a foot long on the inside of both of my knees and they took forever to not be super painful to touch, even now they can be a little sensitive. All that to say, even when a character’s injuries are healed they would still have a lot of pain and tenderness going on from any sort of touch, even months after, especially in the places with the most nerves. Just something to think about…

[hellsite-detective]

looking for a post of fnaf unreality which used the words: "english will" to describe springtrap.

ah, a Five Nights at Freddy's post. didn't think i'd be lookin' for one of these, but i gotta say, i ain't complainin'. this anon was lookin' for a post that described William Afton as "English Willy." now, i didn't have the pleasure of workin' on the Afton Case back in the 80s, but i like to think this is my little way of contributin' to that investigation.

headin' over to the tumblr search bar, i typed in "fnaf unreality english will" and found a masterpost with several screenshots. pretty convenient, and i could've just linked that. but there were so many posts there, i didn't wanna risk gettin' the case wrong. so i kept diggin'.

i headed over to the blog mentioned in the screenshots and decided i was gonna grab every single one of those posts and link them below. was this overkill? maybe. but in this line of work, you could never be too careful. i went through the original poster's blog, grabbin' all the posts that i could find, and brought them back to my office for cataloguing.

hopefully this is what you were lookin' for! now, the masterpost mentioned it was "part 2" but i couldn't find any evidence of a part 1 on the blog. either way, i hope you enjoy these! have a great day!

[jasontoddsotherhalf]

A Short Simon Snow Character Analysis:

"Simon needed time. He needed care. He still startled at bright lights and sudden noises. And prolonged eye contact. He'd get jumpy when we were alone together." (Any Way The Wind Blows pg 85)

"On the worst days, on the even worse nights, I used to think about all the bad things that have happened to Simon– just the ones I know about. And then I'd wonder about all the terrible things that have happened to him that I DON'T know about. Twenty years of bad things. How long would it take for those painful memories to die back?" (Any Way The Wind Blows pg 86)

Simon is genuinely one of the saddest chosen ones I've ever read about, and I feel like its ignored by the fandom a lot. Like the book series is always portrayed as funny and light hearted and it is sometimes but at the root it's sad and heart wrenching. However, it's also really creative and has a tone of parallels and connections and like the whole concept of the chosen one fulfilling his purpose and no longer being needed anymore isn't used often. A lot of the times the Chosen one's issues aren't even addressed at ALL its just "Oh he went through a lot as a child but the bad guy is dead now and he got the girl (or guy) so it's fine, he's happy"

Simon was used by everyone his whole life. The Mage, the rest if the world of mages, even Penny and Agatha a bit too, (which Penny realizes and admits in AWTWB). Simon was left as a child at an orphanage where we really don't know much about his life, because he doesn't know much either. In Wayward Son, Simon talks to his therapist about not remembering a lot before he was 11 and she says the brain blocks out things that have traumatized or hurt us in the past. When Simon is 11 and comes to Watford, he speaks so little the teachers have to give him private lessons, and when that doesn't work he gets a speech therapist. A few other details a are given as well such as how Simon jumped from orphanages and Foster homes. All these allow us to infer that he didn't have a good childhood, and stuff probably happened to him.

The Mage becomes Simon's only father figure, and even then Simon says he never felt like a father. The Mage treated Simon like a weapon, and even lied to him about being his father. The Mage could have made things much easier for himself by raising Simon, but he chose to just leave him till he was 11 because he didn't feel like raising his own kid. "Maybe it's part of what the Mage did to me. He said he got me wrong, that I was a cracked vessel. I can't hold on to anything good." (AWTWB pg 65) the Mage only payed attention to Simon when it benefited him. Simon was an object to him, and if you remember in Carry On, it was obvious to literally everyone but Simon, who didn't want to believe he was being manipulated. It turned him into a killing machine.

Often times I feel as if the fandom portrays Simon as some talkative goofball, but that's completely ignoring his character. Simon says in Carry On that he doesn't think because in the end he just does what people tell him too. But that's not true. He does think, all the time, he just pushes away the stuff he doesn't want to think about, thinking about other things to muffle out these unwanted thoughts. Baz also says in Carry On that most conversations with Simon are just Simon shrugging. We feel as though Simon talks a lot because when it's his POV he's always rambling, but this is because Simon has a strong inner monolouge.

Simon had no adult figures in his life to lean on. Every character had someone, despite their maybe complex relationships. Baz has Fiona, and the two are close despite the tension and arguing. Penny has her mom and dad, despite their differences, they all love each other a ton. And Agatha has her parents, who do care about her. Simon never has a firm foundation. Not the Mage, Penny's mom barley likes him, Agatha's family only treats him well because he's the chosen one and dating Agatha, and Baz's family straight up despises him. Everyone else also has friends to lean on too, once you get later into the series. Agatha has a Ginger and even Penny, Penny has Baz and Shepard, Baz has Dev and Niall whom he chooses to sort of ghost, but also Penny. And they all have Simon. But I couldn't help but notice that whenever Simon tried to communicate, he was shut down.

Simon is bad at communicating. They all address this multiple times. But it's the fact that his friends don't even have faith that he'll survive. Multiple times from all POVS it talks about how everyone expected Simon to die, and they're all talking about how they would feel and how it affects them knowing that, but no one ever asked Simon. And Simon is aware of this too, but he just once again ignores it. No one wants a hero who's scared to die for his cause. Simon is shit at communication, but he has his own ways of showing that at least something IS wrong, that Penny and Baz have learned how to read, yet ignore when it's not convenient. Baz and Penny take Simon on a trip out to America, but it wasn't about Simon. Penny had ulterior motives, to see Micah and Agatha. Then the whole situation happened there, and though obviously Baz had nothing going on with Lamb, it clearly made Simon insecure and upset. But Baz just gets annoyed at him for it instead of trying to figure out the root of the issue.

A scene that always irked me in WS is the one where Simon comes back with his hair cut, after months of neglecting it because of his depression. And Baz says nothing, because he's too busy feeling sorry for himself. This may have seemed like a small thing but Simon literally couldn't leave the couch, for almost a year. His self hatred and issues were so bad he couldn't get up. So he finally makes this step, cutting his hair, trying to get better...and Baz basically ignores it.

Another thing is the end if WS when they're on the beach. Simon is trying to say how he feels, in his own way. That he isn't good enough for Baz, Baz should find someone else. And Baz just shuts him down, like he always does. Like he always does when Simon tries to communicate his feelings about being the chosen one, and what happened with the Mage. Then they get back to England, and Baz just acts like nothing happened. Simon shouldn't have ignored all his texts, and shouldn't have moved out leaving just a note, but he doesn't know how to communicate. No one taught him how to do this, all he knows is he needs to figure his shit out and no one currently in that situation, was really helping him.

I see a lot of people hating on AWTWB because Simon and Baz break up, because their relationship is admittedly toxic, and then get together the next day. But I think it makes perfect sense. They both love each other so so much, and they have an unhealthy attachment. Often with toxic relationships, especially when we love each other and want them to work out, we keep coming back in hopes of fixing things. Both boys have severe abandonment issues, and they don't want to loose each other.

I also see people hating on WS and AWTWB because Baz and Simon aren't all happy. Like legit, that is why I see those books getting the most hate. But it makes sense. People's pasts have an effect on them and how they behave. Simon killed the only father figure really he'd ever had. And he still doesn't understand the extent of abuse said man put him through. Simon doesn't know how to put himself first. Like when they're fighting the vampire's in WS, and simon is on the brink of death, he STILL stands up because that's what people have expected him to do all his life. Baz wants everything to be okay and happy and ignore their issues, because that's what they've done his whole life in his family, ignoring problems like him being a vampire. And what Simon desperately needs is to approach his, but he doesn't know how deep his issues run, except that he's a broken, fucked up, mess. He has ptsd, depression, and anxiety, and doesn't know how to help himself.

Overall, Simon's character holds a complexity that often times I see ignored. The story is romantic, and cute. I love Snowbaz as much as the next person. But you can't fully appreciate the story until you actually understand the depth of the characters, especially starting with Simon Snow.

Thank you, have a nice day <3

[ghost-proofbaby]

i just imagined the most cursed/dumb experience you could have with eddie and now i need to put you all through it with me.

imagine getting insanely high with eddie and playing around with one of those stress balls with the netting. like the kind that change color when you squeeze it. and you're just squishing it, fiddling mindlessly, before suddenly looking up at eddie with the worst possible idea.

"eddie... do you think they...?"

and him being so wide-eyed, immediately catching on, "absolutely not."

but then, you're both high, and you're both prone to having the dumbest fucking ideas possible, so when eddie catches sight of your fishnets peeking out of the drawer across the room, he can't help himself from saying the dumbest possible thing to ever come out of his mouth.

"but wanna find out?"

the night ends with the two of you in the ER, and eddie deciding it doesn't matter how much he likes you in fishnets, the two of you will never have another pair in the household again.

please don't take this serious i'm going to cry from how fucking stupid this is

[tinybro]

jasico server was chatting about the cupid scene and jason getting nico's memories blasted straight into his brain and how jason being shot with one of cupid's arrows while with nico and this was just never brought up in canon again and now i'm thinking like...what if that's just how cupid's arrows work? not by magically manifesting love for someone out of nothing, but by giving someone the perspective that'd make them fall in love naturally? jason gets a front row seat to nico's memories and instantly understands him intimately and can trust him completely without any doubt or suspicion

so what if jason, after slowly realizing he's totally in love with nico, just thought back to the arrow incident and it made him second-guess everything? because maybe he's only feeling this way because cupid hit him with an arrow with only nico was around and it's no different than any other god messing with his love life

[galaxynajma]

I wanna see someone write a double date with Ryurin and Kaisagi

That would be so funny so much chaos

I know realistically speaking how awful that would go but it’s so funny to think about

They’re just all sitting together at some restaurant in awkward silence just side eyeing each other at first because they can’t for the life of them being nice to each other in public

Half way through it just looks like Rin and Kaiser are having a resting bitch face competition

then finally Shidou breaks the silence with a stupid joke

And all hell breaks loose

Shidou is getting under Rin’s skin and Kaiser is getting under Isagi’s skin all the while Rin and Isagi are getting under each other’s skin

And then it just turned into a boyfriend competition with Kaiser and Shidou just throwing around " oh my sweet Yoichi does this better " or " RinRin does that better "

Kaiser puts his arm around Isagi and puts his hand on Isagi’s shoulder

And Shidou kisses Rin on the cheek obnoxiously

The staff members of the restaurant watching this all go down taking bets on who’s gonna go serve them

Across their table is Ness and some other members of BM and PXG spying on them making sure they don’t all kill each other by the end of this

But don’t worry! They don’t actually all kill each other at the end of this ( what a miracle) they just finish eating go off to say their goodbyes and leave

[setyourfireonme]

fic recs that feature sex worker dean for free space @spnficrecfest

✨💖✨

trade by chinablue (John/Dean, Dean/OMCs, 771, E) (part 1 of tradeverse)

You'll hide from mirrors until the marks fade away.

quiet room by chinablue (John/Dean, Dean/OMCs, 1.9k, E) (part 2 of tradeverse)

This is what love looks like.

love is by chinablue (Sam/Dean, John/Dean, Dean/OMCs, 2.3k, E, Rape/Non-Con)

Love is all you are.

halo (in reverse) by poisontaster (Dean/OMCs, Dean/OFCs, 4.9k, E, Underage)

Adulthood has a taste.

the black line below me by smilla (Dean/OMC, 4.1k, M, Underage)

It's not about money

march madness in carson city by egipci (John/Dean, 1.5k, Not Rated)

Dad just saw him, he’s pretty sure.

pragmatics by deadlybride (Sam/Dean, Dean/Others, 4.3k, E, Underage)

Dean tells Sam about the work he used to do; he hopes Sam understands why he did it.

it's a mile from here to glory by ivyfic (Dean/Others, 7.6k, M, Underage) (part 1 of after school special)

John found it when he was doing laundry. When John dug into the bottom of Dean's duffel to get the last of the dirty socks that had been sitting in there, probably, since the last time John had caved and done the laundry, he found a roll of bills. Tens and twenties, mostly, held together with a black binder clip. It was close to five hundred dollars.

dear lovey hart by ivyfic (Sam/Dean, 5k, M, Underage) (part 2 of after school special)

"People I've fucked," Sam said nonchalantly. Dean almost did a spit-take. "I have had sex with eight people. Lifetime total." He waved his hand in the air over his head, probably trying to show the number eight on his fingers, then gave up and let his arm drop like a rock back to his side. He scrunched up his face like he was thinking hard. "Make that nine…no…eight and a half." Dean rolled his eyes. "Your turn," Sam said.

hitchhikers by glorious_spoon (795, T, Underage)

Some ugly facts about life on the road.

monsters are out there by connivingophelia (Dean/OMCs, 4.6k, E, Rape/Non-Con, Underage)

When Dean is ten-and-a-half, he learns men will fall for his pretty mouth, his fuck-me eyes. When Dean is twelve-and-a-half, he discovers how to use this information. Dean longs to be a hunter like Dad, to bring monsters to their knees. This isn't what he had in mind.

feel like i should have said something by karaokeburial (John/Dean, 1.3k, E)

John's come home exhausted from a long hunt, and they're broke. Dean, thankfully, is always good for making a little bit of money down at the hunter dive.

so goes the song by aeli_kindara (Dean/Lee, 21.7k, E) (+ jackalopes)

The first time Lee meets Dean Winchester, it’s courtesy of a chokehold.

the landscape after cruelty by hearthouses (Sam/Dean, Dean/Others, 16k, Rape/Non-Con, Underage)

Dean leans into Sam's touch, instinctive, too exhausted to fight the part of him that enjoys the attention Sam gives him, a shameful dirty secret, how much he loves letting Sam do this, when it should be the other way around. No one else would ever take care of him like this. OR Five Times Sam Took Care Of Dean In The Aftermath + 1 Time He Got Revenge On Those Who Hurt Dean.

there are worse things i could do by amiwritesthings (John/Deanna, 5.2k, E)

It’s cold and windy, the bite of first snow in the air, a strange yellow glow in the sky that tells Deanna winter is coming and it’s coming soon. Her breath billows in a cloud of white, and she pulls the thin leather jacket tighter around herself, rocks on her heels to keep the blood flowing. It’s a little past midnight, and the streets are quiet—too quiet—for all of them to get to the other end of the night with some cash in their pockets. It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last, but she needs the money tonight, for a hot meal and a fix and maybe a new jacket that isn’t more holes than fabric.

discovery by reapertownusa (John/Dean, 1.1k, E)

After a hunt John is looking for a release and finds it an unlikely place.

+ the rest of the past is a foreign country verse (John/Dean, Dean/OMCs, 13.1k in total, E, Rape/Non-Con)

as if we'd never met by thatotherperv (John/Dean, Dean/OMCs, 6.7k, E, Underage)

AU. Dean Winchester was kicked into the foster system when he was 4 years old…when he was 14, he kicked himself out of it. Bottom line is, men enjoy fucking little boys all across this great nation. Dean figures if he's gonna spend the rest of his life with sick fuckers staring at his mouth, he'd better be making some cash.

sharp teeth of the one you love by vintagedean (John/Dean, Dean/Others, 2.3k, E)

The ogre at the corner table right by the door has been eyeing Dean all night. John watches the way the beast’s eyes track Dean as he works different patrons at the bar with no luck. Dean tries for a shifter and a vampire before he starts flirting with a human man playing pool by himself, but John knows there’s no way his boy is unaware of the behemoth of a creature tucked into the shadows behind him. He’s been moving slowly in his direction, never engaging or tossing a smile, but angling his body with every interaction with someone else so that his ass faces the monster. Dean’s a professional, and he’s good at what he does. John keeps to himself and lets his son work as he nurses his beer and thinks through what he’ll need to have ready for after Dean’s done his job. Ogres have relatively small dicks for their size, but they’re usually barbed at the tip. It means Dean’s going to have some internal damage when he’s through, but not too much if they use enough of the right kind of lube. It also means they can charge a small fortune. Dean knows this, so John’s not worried about needing to intervene. His kid can handle it. He is, after all, a professional. 

first night as the prince of hearts by karaokeburial (John/Dean, Dean/Jean Renault, 1.9k, E)

John's made the drive all the way across the border from Twin Peaks into Canada, coming to visit his eldest on his first night at his new job.

[redyarns]

snippet (undertow, ch 4)