#that buffet bout to get trashed

[chubunited]

Poor hungry fella…

[laora-inn]

Supernatural - Of Dean, Cas and Pies

Well, in this post I’ve said that Cas = Dean’s pie and promised to talk about it later. 

I’ve seen a lot of meta considering Destiel, cakes and pies. In fiction, food is always kinda connected with sex and craving for it, and also with death. All the cycle, Eros and Tanathos, you know. 

So it’s no wonder that there are lots of food in Supernatural and lots of it’s possible interpretations. Maybe, ALL of them are right simultaneously. 

The version about Dean’s food personally I like, by @amwritingmeta from here:

Trash Food: the life of the hunter = saving people, hunting things Pie: home and stability (the longing for his mother and his longing for love) Cake: at first being reluctant, but open, to trying new things 

I think it’s absolutely correct. That’s why Dean’s hook-up with Anna in 5x10 is characterized by Uriel as “having a piece of angel food cake”. Anna is an angel, it’s certainly new experience for Dean, to hook up with an angel. 

The cake could also refer to Dean’s bisexuality, though in my opinion there is a bigger problem here.  

‘Cause you know, there will be a great difference in the sharpness of your sexual experience and in aftertaste if it’s not just sex but something more, an emotional connection. And that connection is the scariest part of every possible relationship.   

So I don’t see the point in Dean’s sexuality there. The point is whether Dean want to try something new of not, both in his sexual preferences and family life, in his life at all. 

From the Supernatural wiki:

There have been occasions when Dean has been tempted by cake:

3.02. The Kids Are Alright: Dean is seen eating birthday cake with a young Ben Braeden at his birthday party.

7.03. The Girl Next Door: While laid up with his broken leg, Dean asks Sam to go on a food run. When Dean asks, “Where’s the pie?” Sam says, “You got cake, that’s close enough, right?” Dean does not eat the piece of cake.

7.06. Slash Fiction: Dean ask Sam to buy him something that “rhymes with songs songs” i.e. Ding Dongs which a small chocolate cake with a creamy center.

10.12. About a Boy: 14-year-old Dean snacks on cake while he is held captive, he didn’t much care for it.

10.15. The Things They Carried: In a police station, there is a birthday cake on the desk. The police officer offers cake to Sam and Dean, but Sam declines on their behalf. Dean looks disappointed, and sneaks a fingerful of icing.

I think all of them, situation with Anna included (textual references can work even better than visual ones, as for me), refer to Dean’s possibilities of new experience. 

In 3x02 he had a possibility of a new family with Lisa and Ben, and he tried it. Back then the show was supposed to end with them as Dean’s constant family. So we’ve got a cake and Dean who’s eating it, possibly enjoying. 

7x03 is crucial for Destiel shippers. Why? ‘Cause that’s the moment than Dean needed A PIE and got A CAKE from Sam instead. And nope, he didn’t manage to eat it. Why? Because this cake isn’t his pie. In 7x02 Dean lost Cas. And nothing can replace him, more than that, Dean doesn’t want to try anything new, he just can’t even if Sam helps and doesn’t see the difference. 

7x06 was Dean’s prompt to try something new - to have a daughter with Lydia. He didn’t make it either.  

Also he didn’t like the cake he ate in 10x12 as a teenager, said the cake was too dry. So he didn’t stay a teenager (someone he used to be a long time ago, but being a teenager now is new experience for him, a chance to start a new life, without Mark of Cain on his arm). Dean preferred to stay an adult in this episode - he tried something new and didn’t like it. 

In 10x15 Dean tried the cake = something new. I think it’s the moment when they’ve finally said us: okay, guys. In case you still have some doubts, let’s clarify. A new endgame for Dean comes, not with Lisa and Ben for sure. 

So whom with? Oh, well. Maybe with an angel whom Dean gave the First Blade, like he’s preferring him to Crowley? An angel whom Cain saw Dean’s parallel to his wife Colette in? Both moments were in episode 10x14, the previous one!

If 10x14 and 10x15 haven’t clarified it to us yet, in 10x16 Dean also says that there are some people and some feelings he wants to try in a different way. Yep, something new. Three times make no coincidence. This “new” is connected to Cas, and here from cakes appearances are rare. ‘Cause Dean’s already in the path of trying something new. 

I think that’s the reason why there were no cakes and pies in season 11th. I love this season very much, it’s also supposed to be the last one, and I suggest Destiel endgame was planned here at the end, maybe not in explicit form, but still. We could tell it looking to the story fabric. 

And then they’ve just torn it up at the very end and added 4 more seasons, full of Destiel and pies. Why pies, not cakes? Why pies remain and are still relevant to the story?

‘Cause after Destiel “confession”, which wasn’t at the end of 11th season, but was supposed to be there for sure (and that’s the reason why 11x23 looks like kinda awkward to me, especially Destiel talk in the car about friendship and brotherhood, which was a big step back itself), Dean and Cas aren’t subtextually “something new” to each other. They are ALREADY “family”, and not like brothers. They are couple. 

It’s no wonder that after this point pie=Cas for Dean. No, not Mary. Mary is a part of equation, but her special dish isn’t a pie, she can’t even cook pies. No, not Sam. Sam can bring a pie for Dean, but that’s Dean who should be confident enough to take it. 

But actually even before season 12, since season 7, pie references were connected with Cas mostly. 

From season 1 to season 6 they mean rather a family in broader sense. ‘Cause “apple-pie life”, you know. Life with the family, who loves you, not with the toxic people.  

More quotes for us from the wiki, seasons 1-3:

The running gag relating to Dean's pie love, is that Dean rarely gets to eat his pie.

1.11. Scarecrow: In Burkittsville Indiana Scotty's Cafe serves apple pie made from the towns apple crop. "We’re famous for our apples. So, you gotta try this pie." he tells a couple who the townsfolk will later try to kill. Dean orders a piece of the pie. Later when Dean is tied up as a sacrifice, he yells the now classic line ""I hope your apple pie is freakin’ worth it!"

2.21. All Hell Breaks Loose: Part One: Dean asks Sam to get him some pie from a diner while he waits in the car. Once inside, Sam is taken by demons and transported to Cold Oak, with the other Special Children.

3.05. Bedtime Stories: When a young couple, Ken and Julie, are lost in the woods, they come across a sweet old lady who invites them inside her house to rest. Ken sees pie cooling on her windowsill and accepts her invitation despite Julie's reservations. Once they've eaten a fair amount of the pie, it is revealed the pie was poisoned, and the old lady kills Ken with a butcher's knife while he lies on the floor unable to fight her off.

3.16. No Rest for the Wicked: When Lilith kills her host's grandfather, he literally falls face first onto a piece of pie.

Here we see that pies are mostly connected to family, death and danger. Because in seasons 1-3 the Winchesters have no chance to a happy family. They are deeply in a toxic relationship with each other (poisoned pie), their father is dead, Sam is doomed, and they can’t be happy. That’s why Dean can’t have his pie here. That’s why he accuses Sam of wanting an "apple-pie life” in 1x01 - Dean doesn’t think he deserves this life himself and mocks on it while craving for it. His greatest fear, as far as we know in season 1, is to be abandoned. To have no family at all, even the toxic one.

So, in the end of season 3 Dean dies because of his deal, which purpose was to save his only family member left. Sam, who is holding Dean’s corpse in the end of 3x16. Yep, dead face in the pie. 

Kinda tragic, you know. 

Situation in seasons 4-5 looks just a slight better to me. Pies are more likely a symbol of happy family now... except the fact that Dean can hardly get them:

4.01. Lazarus Rising: When Sam and Dean are in a diner following Dean's resurrection, Dean orders pie. Unfortunately, the pie is brought to them by a possessed waitress, and Dean is unable to enjoy it. After their confrontation with the demons in the diner, Dean leaves money to pay for the pie.

4.02. Are You There, God? It's Me, Dean Winchester: When faced with a pile of research on angels, Dean demands of Sam, "You're gonna get me some pie!" When Sam returns sans pie (due to encountering Ruby), Dean complains, "Dude, Where's the pie?"

5.15. Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid: Karen Singer finds baking makes life as a zombie easier, and fills Bobby's house with pies. On one of the few occasions Dean gets to eat pie, it's baked by a zombie.

5.16. Dark Side of the Moon: In Heaven, Dean and Sam relive a memory from when Dean was four years old. Mary makes him a sandwich with a glass of milk and then has a brief argument on the phone with John. Dean goes to comfort her, and Mary hugs him and says "You are my little angel. How ‘bout some pie?" This may be a clue to the origin of Dean's love of pie, and his associations between pie and comfort.

5.19. Hammer of the Gods: Mercury tells Dean after checking in that the hotel has "the best pie in the tri-state area." Sam also warns Dean that they should leave the motel while eating at the buffet: “It’s Biblical, exactly. It’s friggin’ Noah’s ark out there and we’re eating pie”.

Situations in 4x01 and 4x02 refer to Sam. He can’t be a pie for Dean, his family anymore, ‘cause he has Ruby now, a demon. Demons interfere between Dean and pie. Well, sorry for them. 

Situation in 5x15 refer to Bobby as a part of family whom Dean in this episode wants to save. Also pies here have a straight connection to death, even the Death himself. 

Karen also says, that Dean’s never been in love. He knows only familial love... and during this conversation he is eating a pie. Karen makes pies to bring peace=her love to Bobby, and this love is romantic for 100%. And hella tragic. 

I don’t think Dean was in love with Cas back then. Cas was his friend and meant a lot to Dean, maybe Dean was attracted to him somehow, hoped for him, even loved him - but, in my opinion, not romantically. 

So that time Cas just couldn’t be Dean’s pie. 

To tell the truth, I don’t think ANYONE besides Cas could.

From 5x16 we know, that pie for Dean means not just family, but a happy one, a family, where he is unconditionally and absolutely loved. We also know that the pie could be associated with the word “angel”, even if in the context of a season 5 that may sound kinda sarcastic. 

Pie from the 5x19, as I suppose, refer to another family. Not the Winchesters, but Lucifer and Gabriel. ‘Cause now, then Sam and Dean are the vessels, they are certainly a part of a BIGGER family (which also includes Cas, btw). But this family is absolutely awful, toxic and bloody. 

Let’s see how the textual references to the pies in seasons 4-5 work:

4.22. Lucifer Rising: when it seems like Dean has given up on Sam, Bobby gives him a talking to: “Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good?! Bake you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!”

5.12. Swap Meat: when Sam is returned to his own body, he confides in Dean that life as a normal kid "sucked ass": “All that apple-pie, family crap? It's stressful. Trust me, we didn't miss a damn thing”.

5.22. Swan Song: when Sam is preparing to say yes to Lucifer, he makes Dean promise that he won't try to get him back from Lucifer's Cage. He wants Dean to find Lisa and try to live a "normal, apple-pie life."

I think that’s what Dean wants from his family - to get an apple pie (unconditional love/appreciation). He can’t get it from them, and that’s the main tragedy in his life for the seasons 1-5. He is too fixated on them and can’t move on. 

Lisa and Ben are just a dream of an apple-pie life (love) for Dean. But you know, that’s not how it works. To notice someone’s love and to appreciate it, you should love them back. We've never had enough information about Lisa and Ben to make any conclusions about. And Sam’s words from 5x12 just state that they both, Sam and Dean, currently can’t believe that they deserve a happy family, deserve to be loved (hello Crowley’s allusion). 

Season 6 is poor for pies (and love), both textually and visually. That’s the season where Cas goes the dark side, ‘cause Dean doesn’t love him back (doesn’t trust him), so no wonder. 

Here some pie moments:

6.04. Weekend at Bobby's: Bobby's neighbor Marcy Ward brings him a ginger peach cobbler. Marcy, after some exposure to Bobby hunting, decides against dating Bobby, who never gets to eat the pie because he keeps getting interrupted.

6.08. All Dogs Go to Heaven: Dean is sick of soulless Sam trying to act normal, and he tells him that he doesn't buy his act: “You say you're "just folks," yeah? That - that you like baseball and apple pie, or whatever. But truth is, I don't know what you are, 'cause you're not Sam”.

6.11. Appointment in Samarra: Death tells Dean "What do you think the soul is? Some pie you can slice? The soul can be bludgeoned, tortured, but never broken, not even by me."

In Bobby’s case a pie=possible romantic relationship, but Bobby can’t get it. 

Dean in 6x08 means that even if soulless Sam says he likes/loves his family (Dean and Bobby), he lies. 

The last line I think isn’t connected with this all pie=love narrative. The Death just knows about Dean’s love for pies and says what he needs to say in a simple way. But it’s also about family - Sam’s soul, basically Sam himself.

And it’s season 7 where we have the narrative change! It deals not only with pies, but also with Dean’s feelings to Cas. I think he’s still not in love here. But Dean comes closer to understanding this season. Without this romantic subplot season 7 is just a mess. And you know, this subplot is something what is not easy to notice. That’s why season 7 was something that nearly killed all the show. You should be more open to your fans.

Pies in this season: 

7.02. Hello, Cruel World: A TV ad for Biggerson's announces they now have a homemade pie bar - like a salad bar but for pies!

7.03. The Girl Next Door: While laid up with his broken leg, Dean asks Sam to go on a food run. When Dean asks, "Where's the pie?" Sam says, "You got cake, that's close enough, right?" Dean does eat from the piece of cake and passes out on the couch, leaving it unfinished.

7.05. Shut Up, Dr. Phil: Dean is in the motel room, about to eat a cream pie, when Sam comes in and presents him with some chickens feet that they require to combat the witches. They have not been refrigerated due to a power blackout, and Dean is put off his pie.

7.22. There Will Be Blood: Dean is devastated to learn that the modified corn syrup the Leviathan are using to make humans docile and obese is in nearly all his favorite foods, including pie. Dean: "Roman acquires..." What's SucroCorp? Sam: They make food additives, namely high-fructose corn syrup. That crap is in – well, it's in just about everything – um, soda, sauces, bread. Dean: Don't say "pie." Sam: Definitely pie. Dean: Bastards.

Moment from 7x02 can refer to Leviathans that were in Cas. There are MANY of them, they were ruining his core. Connection to the death and danger once again, but this time it refers to Cas. FOR THE FIRST TIME. Why?

Moment from 7x03 had also a cake and was discussed before. The meaning of it that Dean wants Cas back and can’t move on. So, here Cas=Dean’s pie for sure. 

7x05 deals with the lovers’ quarrel that ruins the whole town. They are two powerful witches who need to be in peace, then the world will be whole once again. I think that refers to Cas’s and Dean’s quarrel at the end of 6th season, because IT IS basically the reason why Leviathans are here ruining the world. Dean and Cas should have been in peace to prevent it. 

Yep, Sam and Dean also have their quarrel about poor Amy, but this quarrel is a result of Dean’s misunderstanding with Cas, of Cas’s death. I feel sorry for Amy so much! She’s a victim of Dean’s personal issues, and that’s very mean of him, to kill Amy, who once was significant to Sam, in a kind of a mirror situation. I lost Cas - you’ll have to loose your monster girlfriend too, and why are you so obsessed with the monsters at all, hey, little brother?

The truth is Sam HAD NEVER such a powerful connection with a supernatural being that Dean had. It’s Dean who was obsessed with a monster, not Sam, and Dean IS still obsessed. So much, that he kills Amy in a prompt to be freed from obsession, to forget Cas’s death and the fact that it’s what is bothering him so much. 

So yes, now Dean can’t have his pie. Because Cas is dead, and the world is ruining (chickens feet that they require to combat the witches have not been refrigerated due to a power blackout, CAUSED by these witches‘ love quarrel). 

Definitely Sam and Dean have their own issues which can be very destroying but in this episode they haven’t. It’s LOVERS’ quarrel that ruins everything, as in the whole season 7. Once you’ll understand it, season 7 becomes much more interesting. The writers should be clearer with us here, but they weren’t brave enough. Personally I think THAT was the main problem for Sarah, but except this she is a good writer and she did an excellent work for all of us Destiel shippers. 

She prepared the scenery for the greatest love story I’ve seen. 

Pie conversation between Sam and Dean in 7x22 refers to Cas’s unstable mind. The Leviathans messed up Dean’s pie, and now he and Sam should try to beat them to bring the pie back. Just change the word “pie” here with “Cas” and you’ll see that’s absolutely adequate metaphor given to us by the writers themselves. 

Season 8 was a bliss for the shippers. I think Carver is a genius, I love the romantic story he made for Destiel SO MUCH. We see it within all of season he made, from 8 to 11, and it has a strong structure. Seasons 12-15 are more honest with DeanCas details and nuances, I’m absolutely in love with them, but simultaneously Destiel relationship in them is kinda... hidden sometimes, more than it was in seasons 8-11. 

In seasons 8-11 we had certain plot circumstances that prevent Dean and Cas from being together. We have no such circumstances in seasons 12-15. So, are Dean and Cas together ALREADY? But why the hell that’s not IN THE TEXT? Or they are not together? But then why do they have couple dynamics? 

Carver’s story for Destiel was PURE. The following story is more complex and in some way more painful, despite the fact we have Jack whom I adore. I fully understand writers’ reasons here: they can’t say in the text that Destiel is real till the end of the show, because I believe Destiel was the thing that's preventing show from shutting down all this time. The moment writers’ll recognize Destiel as a real thing for GA (like ”they are couple” in the text from the narrator we can trust) will be the moment that ends the show. OR THAT’S HOW DO THEY THINK. 

Personally I think that it’ll be interesting to see TFW future adventures with canon Destiel and Saileen, ‘cause for me there should be some adventures then far and some couples’ problems too. As I said, in seasons 12-15 Dean and Cas act like an arranged couple ALREADY, and it’s still interesting to watch them. Actually the fact that they are NOT couple confirmed by writers yet was one of the main reasons of fans’ annoyance and show shutting down imao. ‘Cause you know, fans don’t like to be played all the time. Sarah made this mistake in season 7 already.

Carver didn’t play us. 

So in season 8 we have 4 brilliant pie moments, connected with the all people who could be seen as Dean’s “family“ except Sam, one sure constant in his life. From this season we started to see Sam as Dean’s “child” and to understand it’s bad for both of them, it’s co-dependent relationship.

Notably, Dean fails to get his pie all these 4 times and despite the fact the other important for Dean people are involved, the pie ALWAYS refers to Cas. 

Here are these moments:

8.09. Citizen Fang: At the Gumbo Shack, Dean asks Elizabeth for some pie, but she is out of what he wants. "You’re out of pecan? Story of my life," says Dean. Martin Creaser is later seen at the Gumbo Shack eating a piece of pie, before he takes Elizabeth hostage.

8.19. Taxi Driver: Dean brings takeout from Biggerson's for himself and Kevin Tran, including a slice of pie. The paranoid Kevin grabs a tray and retreats to the storeroom. Dean moans "That's my pie!"

8.20. Pac-Man Fever: Charlie Bradbury comments: "I will pick us up some grub, and unlike you Sam, I will not forget the pie" referring to Sam's long history of failing to get Dean his pie as requested, a fact she obviously read in the the Supernatural books. Notably, Charlie also fails to get Dean any pie.

8.22. Clip Show: At the Convenience store, Castiel buys things he knows Dean likes: beef jerky, beer, a copy of Busty Asian Beauties, toilet paper. He tries to buy pie, even going as far as threatening the convenience store clerk, but of course to no avail, continuing the running gag in which Dean never gets his pie.

Now let me explain.     

8x09 takes place right after 8x08 where Cas, brainwashed by Naomi, decided to stay away from Dean. No Cas = no pie for Dean. More than that, the one who has the pie here is a villain of this episode and that refers to Naomi. Also, this episode involves Benny who basically is a part of Dean’s “family”, though never spoken and not the same as Cas for sure. Dean trusted Benny only because the vampire defended Cas in Purgatory. It was mentioned in many metas, it’s IN THE TEXT of the story. In case you doubt it, just re-watch 8x01, 8x02 and 8x05. There you can see all Dean’s and Benny’s dynamics. 

Yep, Benny saved Dean’s life in 8x01 and helped him later, but the turning point in their relationship which was as far as it possible from the friendship was the moment when Benny saved Cas’s life. Despite of all the things he said about how dangerous is to search for Cas and to walk with him through the Purgatory. 

In 8x09 Dean helps Benny as a part of his family, his brother-in-arms and friend, but he still has no pie. Truly story of his life.

The moment with the pie could also refer to Elisabeth. Martin has the pie = he has her as a hostage. Dean’s hint about the pie in their conversation sounds flirty as well, and Benny suspects something about Dean and his great-granddaughter. 

But Elisabeth was in this episode only, though the pie metaphors remain. So I suppose that pie moment has more than one interpretation, and the essential to the whole plot one refers to Cas.  

8x19 takes place right one episode after 8x17 where Cas, brainwashed by Naomi... guess what? Yep, decided to stay away from Dean. No Cas = no pie for Dean. AGAIN. 

This time it’s Kevin who stole the pie, also a part of the family. In season 9 Dean’ll call him a younger brother. Dean helps Kevin, brings him the food, they actually have the help of each other. Still, Dean doesn’t have his pie. 

After the next conversation with Kevin in this episode Naomi comes. She says “You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty. I only wish he felt the same way”.  No chances for the pie. Yep. 

In 8x20 Charlie mentions the pie to reveal she’s read the books on Supernatural. She also mentions Cas to Dean and to Dean only. I think she understood the pie metaphor :) But also, even if she is a family to Dean and actually says him “I love you”, 100% platonically ‘cause she likes girls only, she fails to give Dean a pie. She isn’t his pie, and Cas - oh, he is still missing after 8x17 and Naomi’s words. No Cas = no pie. It’s the third time, guys. 

Finally, in 8x22 Cas returns to Dean and decides to give him the pie himself. It’s funny how desperate he is about finding the pie for Dean - because actually HE IS A PIE. 

Here Metatron comes, a villain for the next season, and make Cas forget about the pie - he provides some “greater” goals for Cas just to trick him. 

I hate Metatron more than any other character in this story. He may be the ONE I hate at all - because it’s him who makes obstacles in Destiel way through seasons 8-11. He tricked Cas at the end of 8th season and took him from Dean, he killed Dean at the end of 9th season when Cas gave up an army for Dean, he was a reason of Dean and Cas disagreement in 10th season when Dean almost killed him, he said to Cas that he is expandable in season 11, which made Cas say “yes” to Lucifer. Not to mention he stole Cas’s grace, initiated Kevin’s assassination, killed packs of angels, worsened relationship between Cas and Heaven and was arrogant enough to claim himself a new God while manipulating homeless people. He was redeemed, found God and saved Cas from Amara, but I still don’t like him. He’s just a dick - just like Chuck, even worse.  

The next season has two pie moments as far as I know, both of them refer to Cas:

9.03. I'm No Angel: Dean buys pie that Sam complains about. It does not appear that Dean gets a chance to eat the pie. Sam: Look at these chemicals. Do you even read the label? Dean: No. I read "pie." The rest is just "blah, blah, blah."

9.12. Sharp Teeth: Dean is given pie (baked by Sister Joyce and reputedly famous through the "Badger State") with lunch by a pack of werewolves. Although we don't see him eat it, Sam later says "They gave you lunch; they gave you pie".

9x03 is the episode where Cas is already a human and he is dangerous - the angels haunt him. But that’s not a big deal for Dean. He sees Cas, and the rest is just "blah, blah, blah". Though in this episode Dean has to kick Cas away. No pie again. 

9x12 is the episode with Garth, who is also like family to Dean. They mourn about Kevin together and even share a hug. Garth is a werewolf here, he has a werewolf wife, and Dean and Sam are invited to the werewolves’ family dinner. The table is served with pies, which look just terrible. The same scary pies are in the fridge, while Dean is checking it, possibly looking for the human hearts. We don’t know if Dean’s eaten some pie here, but I suppose he’s not. ‘Cause this family, especially Sister Joyce, isn’t good after all... and because it’s Garth who get a pie here, not Dean. Garth found his romantic love and get happy life with her while Dean is carrying Mark of Cain now and after Kevin’s death can’t let himself to be happy. No pie, my friends. No pie. 

Pie in the season 10 has rare appearances, we have more cake moments here, ‘cause Mark of Cain made Dean think about some new possibilities in his life for sure. 

Still, we have such moments:

10.03. Soul Survivor: In between giving demon Dean purified blood injections, Sam goes to Dean's bedroom where he spots a half eaten piece of pie.

10.22. The Prisoner: When Crowley goes to a diner looking to make a deal with the cook, he is seen eating a slice of pie.

In 10x03 Dean is freed of being demon by Sam and Cas. We saw Sam couldn’t help him alone, and we saw Dean compliments Cas’s good look, as well as how is he upset when Cas said about female in his car. Cas came just to leave - so the pie wasn’t eaten again. But we have some progress here. :)

In 10x22 Dean hasn’t a pie either. He isn’t human again, not a demon, but not himself as well. He just doesn’t need food. He doesn’t need family business, family, love, trying something new. He doesn’t need Cas anymore. This is a heartbreaking episode with Destiel fight, with Dean who is actually less human than Crowley is. Despite Crowley shows his red eyes here, he also eats a cake. He CARES about Dean, Sam, Rowena, and last but not least he cares about Cas. I think that’s what his pie represents. 

As much as I hate Metatron, I love Crowley. I’m sure that without him as an acting character Destiel would be just impossible and miss him so much in the latest seasons. He knew how to make it right. 

As I said, there are NO PIE AND CAKE MOMENTS in season 11, which was supposed to make Destiel canon. But they didn’t. So, Mary, who was originally responsible for all this pie story, showed up. And the pie metaphor returned!

12.02. Mamma Mia: Dean finally gets some pie, when Mary brings him a blueberry pie after they have had dinner. To Dean's surprise, Mary admits that she actually bought the pie instead of making it as Dean previously believed his mother would do.

12.05. The One You've Been Waiting For: Sam brings a pie home from the store for Dean, but Dean is too distracted to eat it, opting instead to get a pie later after having killed Hitler.

12.10. Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: Sam and Dean meets Ishim, who was Castiel’s superior. Dean is asking “Who wants some pie?” and by the end of conversation Ishim says “Have some pie“ to Dean while leaving money at the dinner table. 

Here I must confess that I absolutely love Mary as well. :) I think she understands Dean, I think she knows that Cas is important for him from the time she’s first met him. Also I think she appreciates all that Cas’s doing. I wrote about it here just a bit, but actually there are a lot of examples. So that’s no wonder that is Mary who manages to give Dean a pie. In the end, in 12x12 Cas’ll say “I love you” because of what’s Mary done. 

But again, the pie isn’t something that Mary made herself. She just can deliver the pie to Dean. 

The pie moment from 12x05 is about Dean’s self-worth issue. Actually, Dean could have his pie, communicate with Cas despite Cas’s working with Crowley, but Dean thought he didn’t deserve that. He needed to do something nearly impossible, to kill Hitler, for instance, to fell worthy. 

Back in the season 6, Cas’s working with Crowley was the reason of Dean and Cas’s fight, that literally almost ruined the world. So no wonder that Dean doesn’t like it. 

I wrote about Destiel and Crowley here in details, from the start till the end. Just one little piece:

Season 12 - here Cas and Crowley start to look for Lucifer together and this is a horrible piece of news to Dean. Cas left him in 12x03 to work with Crowley again! Cas and Crowley are playing FBI agents together - it was Dean’s only role-play with Cas from 5x03!

The pie moment from 12x10 is textual only but important one, as for me. It’s well-known Steve Yokey’s episode,whom I absolutely adore. Here, during Cas and Dean’s conversation with Ishim, pie is mentioned:

Dean: Well, who wants some pie?

Ishim: You know, when I knew Castiel, he was a soldier. He was a warrior. He was an angel's angel. Now look how far he's fallen. Dean: How about a little coffee with that sugar? Ishim: No wings, no home. Just a ratty old coat and a pair of poorly trained monkeys. Dean: Oh. Well, you can go to Hell. Cas: Dean, it's fine. Sam: No. No, it's not. Cas: Sam, this isn't about me. It's about Benjamin. Ishim: Now that is refreshingly accurate. But since you brought a couple of extra “people” to our little chitchat, we should go somewhere more private. I have a safe house nearby. I'll go get Mirabel. So nice to see you, old friend. Have some pie.

Dean’s words about pie are for Ishim. Ishim ‘s words about pie are for Dean only - he also gives Dean some money. Their conversation begins and ends with a pie, and clearly they both understand the meaning. That’s why Ishim answers to Dean’s “Well, who wants some pie?” with “You know, when I knew Castiel, he was a soldier“. 

‘Cause for Dean Cas = pie. And Ishim gets that. 

All their words could be translated like that:

Dean: Do you wanna my Cas? 

Ishim: He isn’t in female vessel anymore, and this matters for me. Also, I envy you two happy gays who like sweets and chick-flick moments.  Dean: Too much sugar in your coffee for the man who doesn’t like sweets. You certainly wanna him for your purposes, and I won’t let you have him. Ishim: He was much more better with me back then. Dean: You used him.  Cas: Dean, it's fine. Sam: No. No, it's not. Cas: Sam, this isn't about me. It's about Benjamin. Ishim: Oh, we’ll talk about him. In my place ‘cause I need some insurance. Your boyfriend is too aggressive. I’m interested in Mirabel, not in you, old friend, ‘cause she listens to my commands and looks pretty. And you can have your Cas, poor-trained monkey. Some charity from me here.   

I love this episode so, so much. I’ve re-watched it for 10 times at least and I’m certain about “pie=Cas” meaning for 100%. To tell the truth, this conversation between Dean and Ishim was the reason I’ve decided to write this meta. 

In season 13 we have one visual moment with pie:

13.08. The Scorpion and the Frog: When the Winchesters arrive at Smile Diner to meet with the Crossroads Demon Barthamus, Barthamus offers Dean a slice of cherry pie. After Barthamus leaves, Dean begins eating the pie, earning him a look from Sam.

Barthamus offers Dean a spell to find Jack. When Jack is back, Cas is back. Sam tells is to Dean some episodes later. Of course, Dean wants Cas back, so he took this possibility to get his pie, even if he didn’t like Barthamus. 

There was also one textual pie moment in season 13, which refers to Cas. I wrote about it here.

There are some pie moments in season 14:

14.06. Optimism: While working a case with Jack Kline, Dean order pie for both of them and gets to actually enjoy it for once without any sort of interruption aside from Jack's awkward questions about sex.

14.10. Nihilism: Cas sees through Dean’s good memories, and here Dean’s words from 2.21 are mentioned:  “Hey, see if they got any pie!“

14.11. Damaged Goods: As she goes shopping for the ingredients for Winchester Surprise, Mary promises to get pie. She returns with an apple pie, but they do not get around to eating it.

14.16. Don't Go in the Woods: Pie is apparently on Dean's shopping list for Jack Kline as he is seen examining one. Jack later tells Dean that he bought everything on the list except the beer, as Jack has no valid ID and he didn't want to use a fake one, suggesting that Jack did indeed buy the pie. It is unknown if Dean ever gets to eat it, but it's possible, since Dean had nothing to interrupt him from enjoying the pie after he got back to the Bunker except for going to the store to buy beer.

In 14x06 Dean and Jack both have Cas with them. And Jack asks Dean about sex. Hmmm. Yokey’s episode, guys!

14x10 is also Yokey’s. So, Cas=pie metaphor could be used here as well - pie moment from 2x21 changes. 

14x11 - if Dean is going to seal himself in the Mal’ak box, there will be no pie=Cas for him for sure. ‘Cause THE CLOSET, guys. 

14x16 - as long as Jack is the Dean, the pie=Cas is with him. We’ll see the opposite thing in the next few episodes.

As well as in seasons 13-14, pie moments in season 15 is far too easy to read:

15.10. The Heroes' Journey: Dean attempts to buy a copy of Delicious Pies magazine, but is denied when his credit card is declined.

15.11. The Gamblers: Dean learns that he and Sam only have enough money for two cups of coffee and a slice of pie. Dean asks for two forks for himself and Sam to share the pie, but complains about not getting to eat a cheeseburger instead. However, Dean never gets to eat his pie as the waitress notices that the Impala has a flat tire before she can bring it to him.

15x10 - no luck=no pie=no Cas. Sam mentions that they are unlucky and that Cas isn’t with them in one line here, and he is right undeniably. Also, it’s interesting that this time it’s not the pie itself that Dean is buying. It’s a magazine how to cook them! After his nearly love confession to Cas in 15x09 Dean is ready to make his happiness himself. Sadly, he is no luck this episode. 

And he isn’t buying Asian Beauties magazine! Unbelievable. 

15x11 - here Dean isn’t flirting with the waitress AT ALL. No cheeseburgers, he is to pie=Cas strictly now. He can complain, but he even can’t eat cheese for now - here Sam tells that to him. Cheese may also refer to his hunter’s life - without his luck Dean can’t be a hunter. Maybe it’s the taste of the peaceful future? ;) We’ll see. 

The word “pie” can also refer to women. But I believe that above there are enough evidences that the pie meaning here is different. 

That’s what we are calling a subtext. 

Thanks for the reading! 

_______________________

This was the last Destiel topic I’ve wanted to write about this far. Let’s see what the last 7 episodes’ll bring. :)

I’d be happy to analyze any Destiel moment with you guys so feel free to write in my ask and to comment. 

[garpie64]

Fic Scraps #4

(The holidays are breathing down my neck so I haven’t been able to write as much so have an extra long scrap instead)

He didn’t think Bruce would fire him. He expected to be benched, to be grounded for a few weeks after everything. He didn’t expect to be fired as if he was just an employee. He thought Bruce saw him as a son like he did with Dick. He thought he was family, but he thought wrong. The manor had been quiet ever since that last explosive argument. There had been so many fights in the months leading up to it that the silence had felt ominous.

Jason stared down at the suitcases sitting on his bed. He’s already checked to make sure he had everything he’d need. The taxi should be arriving soon and his window of opportunity was closing rapidly. He left a note for Alfred on his nightstand before heading out of the manor towards the taxi with his bag. Gotham taxis knew not to question their strange passengers and for that Jason was grateful. He didn’t feel like coming up with a story. He just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. With the address to an apartment Bruce had forgotten about, Jason was off to his new home. Until then, he sat back in the seat and let it sink in that he was alone again. At least this time he knew how to siphon off Bruce’s account.

* * *

Jason blinked as the front door swung open and the least expected person entered: Dick Grayson. Jason sat on the couch curled with a thick blanket around him and his homework in his lap. It’s been months since he moved out of the manor and he’s had no guests so to have Dick Grayson – who tolerated his existence at best – to suddenly barge in made his heart jump in his throat. He froze as Dick locked eyes with him and there was a dark look in his eyes – something like the anger he had when he and Bruce fought. Had Dick come to scream at him for what happened? Or to rub it in? He didn’t need the golden boy to rub his failure in his face.

Jason jumped as Dick shut the front door before he stomped over to him.

“What are you doing here?” Dick growled.

“What does it look like, Dickhead?” Jason grumbled. “I live here.”

“Since when?”

“Since Bruce fired me months ago. Figured you already knew about that.”

Dick blinked. Bruce fired the kid? Since when? He thought Bruce was head over heels for this new Robin. “I just got back from an off-world mission. Bruce was still at his office when I came to the manor. It was quiet so I asked where you were. You know you didn’t have to leave. Alfred misses you.”

“Don’t you get it, asshole? Bruce didn’t want me around. He fired me then gave me the cold shoulder. So I left before he threw me out.” Jason growled. “Why the fuck are you even here? You should be out celebrating. The shitty Robin’s finally out of the way. No more worrying over the little brat. I’m sure Bruce would even offer you the suit back. That should make everyone happy.” Jason pulled the blankets closer as he glared at Dick. “I’m not part of his family anymore. Hell, I was never. Not like you are. Congrats, you’ve got Bruce all to yourself again. Now just leave me alone.”

Dick was silent. He watched as Jason curled back into the blanket fort. Jason was watching him just as closely. Dick looked mad – pissed even.

“Fucking Bruce.” Dick muttered glaring at the floor. His blue eyes then locked with Jason’s. “Have you eaten dinner yet?”

“Um...no. I was going to make something after I finished my homework.” Jason answered unsurely.

“Good because I’m going to get take out and a copious amount of sugar.” Dick answered.

“What? Why?” Jason gaped.

“Because Bruce is an asshole.” Was Dick’s only answer as the door shut behind him. Jason sat there very confused. After a few moments, he returned to trying to do his homework even as his mind raced off to far distant thoughts.

He was so lost in his thoughts that when Dick returned with a few bags and an actual cake it made Jason jump a second time. Without a word, Dick plopped down beside him laying out a buffet of junk food. Dick immediately starting eating. Jason picked up a box of Thai a few moments after him. They ate in silence, but Jason’s mind was running a mile a minute.

“Dick, what’s wrong with me?” Jason questioned.

Dick paused to look at him. “Nothing’s wrong with you.”

“Something has to be for everyone to leave me. What’s so wrong with me that no one can ever stand being around me? I – I tried so damn hard to be what everyone wanted, but it was never enough. Not for my mom or for my dad or Bruce or the League or anyone.” Jason stared down at his hand as he stirred the noodles mindlessly. “All I ever do is fuck up. I couldn’t be good enough for my dad. I couldn’t keep my mom alive. I couldn’t be perfect for Bruce. I’m fucking worthless.”

Dick moved the moment he heard Jason sniff. He pulled Jason in, crushing him against his chest. Jason went rigid, but Dick didn’t do more than hold him. Jason wanted to push him away. He wanted to scream and instigate a fight. Instead, his arms came up around Dick’s shoulders. His fingers curled into the fabric of the shirt as he lowered his head against Dick’s strong solid shoulder.

“You’re not worthless. You were never worthless. Don’t ever say that about yourself again.” Dick reached up carefully to card his fingers through Jason’s hair.

Jason’s breath hitched. “I can’t keep trusting people, Dick. They always leave me, hurt me. I thought Bruce might be different.”

“I know, Jay.” He closed his eyes as he felt the tears start to soak through his shirt. He gathered Jason in his arms and pulled the small teen into his lap. He held Jason as he cried silently against his shoulder. It took a while before the shaking and tears ebbed away leaving Jason silent in his arms. “Come on, why don’t you take a warm shower and we can watch movies tonight. You can stay home from school tomorrow if you have nothing important.”

Jason nodded. He slipped out of Dick’s lap and lumbered down the hall towards the bathroom. Dick watched him a moment before getting up off the couch. In silence, Jason stripped out of his clothes started the shower. Steam quickly filled the small bathroom as he slipped under the spray. He took his time calming down. Dick left a t-shirt and pair of sweats on the counter for when he got out. Dick was waiting for him on the couch having cleared up most of the mess. He had changed into an old Gotham’s Knight shirt and sweats he must have had stashed here. Dick smiled at him before patting the couch beside him. For once, Jason didn’t scoff or question as he slid into the space beside the older man letting Dick drape his arm and blanket around him. Some chick flick was playing, but Jason wasn’t paying much attention.

“It’s not your fault Garzonas fell.” Dick spoke up out of the blue.

Jason tensed as he looked up at Dick. “What?”

“I asked Barbara what happened between you and Bruce. She told me about the Garzonas case. She showed me the CCTV footage.”

“No, I...I just wanted to confront him about it. I-I was angry. Be-because that girl – she killed herself because of him and the bastard wasn’t going to pay for it and there was nothing we could do. I didn’t want to kill him. I didn’t, but then he wouldn’t shut up and he said things – bad things ‘bout the girl and Batman and me – and then he...he wouldn’t let go. Said a hole’s a hole – that he knew how to take care of little boys...and I – I...I pushed him...” Jason reached up to grind his palms into his eyes. “He wouldn’t shut up. He kept talking. He could tell I was from Crime Alley and he wouldn’t shut up and he wouldn’t let go. I’m not...I’m not trash. I’m not a – I’m not a whore. I’m not! I didn’t...I don’t...”

Dick pulled Jason closer, tucking his head under his chin as Jason latched onto him. “Bruce never asked you what happened did he?”

Jason shook his head.

“It’s okay, Jason. It’s not your fault.” Dick whispered.

“Bruce says it is! He thinks I’m a murderer. He threw me away like trash!”

“You’re not trash, Little Wing.” Dick assured. “Bruce fucked up. We both fucked up, but we’ll fix this. I promise.”

“How?”

“I’m going to help you. You don’t need to live on your own, Jay. I know I fucked up so badly when you became Robin. I was angry with Bruce for pushing me away and then for replacing me and giving a title, I made to remember my parents away without even telling me. He never told me about you. I had to learn from the papers. I took out all that anger and pain on you. You didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Little Wing.” Dick reached out to grip his arm. “Now let me help you. You’re not alone anymore.”

“You’re just going to leave like everyone else.” Jason looked away.

“No. No, I’m not.” Dick answered. “And neither are you. You’re staying with me from now on. Bludhaven can be your home now.”

Jason curled his fingers into a fist, but he felt too drained to fight anymore. He didn’t fight the pull as his eyes slid closed and he relaxed into Dick. He already had plans to leave Gotham when he graduated from school. He was haunted by Bruce’s shadow lingering over him. Maybe, just maybe he could find a home in Bludhaven. Maybe he could have a home with Dick if only for a little while.

[due4amiracle]

Day 155

Listo~!:

Reading, dailies, RP?

Short cute list for a short cute me - or at least that’s what Sir tells me, i’mma cutie. So i roll with it.

Aaaanyways.

i read my two chapters! The only reason i’m reading this book, as i told Sir last night in bed as we were doing our end-of-day roundup to each other, was because i want to know who killed the fucking fairy - that’s all i care about. i don’t care about the MC or her witchbitch aunt or her (admittedly sweet and precious) 11 year old daughter who is literally a 90 yo woman in a prepubescent child’s body. i don’t care a bout the vampire or the werewolf, or whomever the MC ends up with. i don’t care about any of it. i just want to know who done the deed. 

i’m 50/50 on whether or not i even want to continue the series, tbh. Could move on to the Powder Mage series. Perhaps The Locked Tomb series. Alpha & Omega series. Keeper's Chronicles. Gemini. Kingson Pride. Kingston Cycle. i have so many choices. Sigh.

Got in and did my dailies, managed to get two rolls and...

i got QIQI?! Ok i ain't even mad about it, i wanted her and could never roll her but HOT GOT DAMN i got her now~! :D ♡♡♡ i’m so happy, i love her she’s a new member of The Short And Cute And Adorable And Bamf club i’m building. xD Her and Diona are headcanon besties. Klee would be part of this club - if i had her. Maybe if her banner ever rolls around again i’ll get lucky. But for now, Qiqi is mine. No Hu Tao though. Sad. But that’s ok!

Forgot to talk about the sushi i had yesterday! The Chinese food was a bento  box from the local place in town that got delivered, it had little sushi in it, california rolls? i think? i don’t know sushi very well - in fact, this is the very first time i’ve had it that wasn’t a weird very poor quality buffet place that tasted very bad and made me sick. This however was GOOD oh my goodness. i enjoyed it! UwU tasty sushi, i like? Sushi? Wild. Absolutely wild.

Did some cleaning yay. Got the garbage in the bedroom changed, and incidentals picked up and thrown away and whatnot. Sir also took out a bunch of trash, which was great, starting tomorrow we start working on That Fucking Living Room where all the gottverdammt boxes are. Ugh. Too many boxes. Too many. Gives me bad claustrophobic anxiety just going in there. x_x

On the RP front, i didn’t get RP done, however, i did get some new spellsies! Yay~ UwU wards and such and things. Going to have to actually RP setting that stuff up tomorrow.

i think that’s about everything i did today, tbph.

Food: A Feeling a bit peckish, but we’ve got a cookie in the oven so that’ll top me off, and everything was tasty today. Liquid: A Did all the drinking required, cranberry juice, water, coffee, energy coffee, and a bit of C4. Pain: C Headache was pretty raunchy, not quite bad enough for More Than Normal Meds but hrm, not great, and the normal gamut of pain things in the cold, joints ache and hands and then there’s the probable uti that i’m working hard on eliminating, lungs were a bit gunky too. Brain: B Focus, again, as per usual, is my struggle, trying to keep all the threads together as they scatter like kittens in a ball pit (bad idea, do not do this) and then there’s the omnipresent anxiety and stress that lurks over my every movement. 

There were a few times i got quite lightheaded and dizzy. So there’s that.

Tomorrow: Reading, dailies, boxes? cleaning? RP?

Ever Onwards and Upwards!

[zwei-the-penguin-with-a-pen]

‘You’re Welcome’

Blake scribbled line after line onto any loose paper she could find. The big slam was this weekend, and Adam Taurus had talked far too much garbage to win this battle. Him and his 'White Fang' as they were calling themselves made out as though they had the best rhymes in Remnant, but Blake knew better than that. Face to face with her, Adam had never won a rap battle before. She didn't plan to let him start.

She'd been hearing about his new recruit, a reptilian knockout with a flow unmatched. That's what her fans had told her. He would probably pull rank or something and get her in a tag battle. His crew did run the Club, so any newcomers were at a disadvantage.

Shove those horns up your ass, T! You're full of it

Taurus is composed entirely of bullshit

I'm the black cat, a lyrical wizard

Your new girlfriend looks a lot like a lizard

Because every punk in this spot done got with her

I bet you still haven't put your hands on her.

If you tried to feel her up, the cops would call it manslaughter

The black cat is back, and I brought my firestarter

That was all she had that made any sense at the moment. A few more bars would tie things up nicely, and bouncing lines off of Yang should scare up a nice verse. If Adam did call for a tag battle, Blake and Yang would demolish anyone that came to face them.

"So, we have a whole week before this battle? That should be more than plenty. Adam Taurus is definitely not the rapper he likes to think he is. His lyrics aren't bad but the kid can't flow to save his life." Yang mentioned as she exited the bathroom, yawning and stretching. Blake nodded, admiring Yang's arms.

"Hey babe, could you do the thing?" She asked the fire dragon. Yang chuckled and flexed an arm. Blake's eyes turned to stars at that. She breathlessly uttered, "Oh, my Dust!"

"You're so silly, Kitty Cat," Yang laughed at her black cat. Blake was still mesmerized by her golden dragon. She threw one arm around Yang's shoulder as Yang sat down. "You know, even if Adam actually found some talent that can outdo both of us, I could rough Junior up and still get us a win." She joked, Blake laughing loudly at the idea. Junior wasn't much of a fighter, that was true. He did have those two girls at his side, not to mention a small army of goons.

The Malachites were just well-dressed ornaments that could halfway fight. No one in Junior's Club could best Yang in a fight. They surely all remembered that time she'd torn the place apart unless they'd taken leave of their sanity.

"I seriously doubt he's found any... unless that reptile girl everyone keeps talking about is the same girl I think she is..."

"Who would that be?" Yang asked, curious to know this person in question. Blake's ears folded over, a sign of frustration.

"Ilia Amitola. We used to be part of the same crew. They called us the Beastly Beans crew, named after a coffeehouse back in Menagerie. She and I were the two best in the crew. Her flow was better than mine and she was crazy fast, but I wrote the better bars. She even proved that the last I saw her."

This intrigued Yang. "How did she prove that you were better?"

"We made the scene at a pretty big slam to represent the Beastly Beans... and when her turn came, she stole my lyrics. She took five separate lines from one of my notebooks without so much as asking me. When my turn came, I had a whole two pages I was going to spin, but I closed my notebook and went off the dome. My last two lines were a callout for her. 'I guess I'm solo now, and you finally got your wish. Best not let my lyrics cross your lips again, you thieving bitch!'" Blake laughed at the memory. "I'm pretty sure that won me the slam."

"Even if it's her, she'll probably spin Adam's lyrics. We both know those are trash. None of those White Fang can freestyle, either. I'm telling you, Babes, we've got this! We're the Black Cat and the Golden Dragon. The Bee's Knees, even." Yang cheered, Blake smiling at her and kissing her forehead.

"We're the bee's knees, its legs, and its arms. Wait, do bees have arms?"

"Doesn't matter, the reference is appreciated all the same." Yang grinned. Blake kissed her again, on the lips this time, and suddenly their discussion was over.

\/\/\/

The Club was jumping, jumping tonight. This would be the biggest poetry slam to ever hit Vale, judging by this crowd. Blake didn't let herself feel nervous, as she would be the best talent here. The White Fang might be lining Junior's pockets, but Blake and Yang could smash Junoir's face if they really needed to.

Dust, Blake hoped fervently that they would need to. Junior's face made her sick.

Yang returned from the bar toting a backpack full of water bottles. She pulled two of them and passed one to Blake. "You ready for this club, Kitty Cat?" Blake smirked and chortled at that.

"This club better be ready for me, Sunshine!" She proclaimed confidently. A yellow monkey tail caught her eye. "WUKONG! Show me your face!" She yelled in his general direction. He turned to see who had called for him, grinning as he saw Blake. He walked toward her, high-fiving her when he got close. "What's the thing, Monkey King?"

"Blake, have you seen the new talent Taurus has for this battle?" Sun asked, looking frantic as he asked her. "It's Ilia!" Blake's eyes looked as they might pop out at the mention of the name.

"Really, now? Well, that doesn't change the fact that Yang and I are the best wordsmiths in Vale right now. She'll spin Adam's lyrics because she can't write her way out of a paper bag, and she surely can't free verse. I have my own lyrics and can freestyle better. And I have Yang. She flows as well as I do, if not better, and her lyrics are incredible." Blake's left ear twitched.

The slam began. Blake tore through the White Fang's gauntlet of poets one by one, thoroughly defeating everyone that stepped to her. They could not hold a candle to her lyrics. Adam would be her next bout, but she knew he would pull rank and bring his lizard lady to do his work for him, so she would force his hand.

"I demand a tag team battle!" She declared, the crowd whooping at that. "Don't think you can pawn me off on your new girl! I present my teammate, the Golden Dragon!" She told them all. Yang took the stage next to her black cat, facing down the reptile and the red bull. Blake kissed Yang on the lips before laying eyes on Ilia. "So, you still stealing rhymes?"

"Nice to see you too, you cursed kitten," Ilia spoke, her skin and scales changing colors. She was now a deep scarlet.

"So you're White Fang now. Whatever happened to being an independent artist? You know, like you always preached about in Menagerie..." Blake's gold eyes narrowed, a smirk creeping onto her face.

"The White Fang crew owns the poetry scene here, and I decided they would be good for my career. It's probably the easiest way to get signed."

"Yeah, especially with your bullheaded boyfriend writing lyrics for you. I hear he bones like a bull, by the way. Hopefully, he's not laying it on you like that." The smirk gained sass with every word Blake spoke, especially when she could see the rage on Ilia's color-changing face. The coin toss fell to Adam and Ilia, who conceded to Yang and Blake to start things off.

The order would be Yang, Ilia, Blake, then Adam.

"The Golden Dragon begins the Grand Slam." The deejay announced before dropping a beat.

I see this girl can change colors. That's a little new.

If I scare her hard enough, will she turn yellow or blue?

I bet blue would look nice on her. Lovely and full.

She'd look perfect if she weren't standing next to that bull.

Seriously, honey, drop that bull shit you're draggin'

Come get your buffet fix from the Golden Dragon

Shit, Xiao Long. That wasn't even clever.

Rhyme harder! Prove you won't stop until the Red Bull's head is severed.

This bull is on bullshit if he doesn't know that I'm the one

The fireball from Patch, bitch! I'm the Dragon of the Sun.

I make this black cat purr in pleasure. Yeah, I know how to pick them.

I bet I could make your chameleon girl take my lizard and lick him.

My cat and I will bust you, about that there's no doubt.

My daddy don't like you, and my mama said to knock you out

Forget what you sang, let me finish with a bang.

The golden one burns like the sun. You'll catch fire playing with Yang!

The crowd roared with excitement as Yang passed the microphone off to Ilia. The 'Leaping Lizard' spun sixteen bars that sounded well rehearsed, though the crowd clapped all the same. Blake looked through her notebook during Ilia's verse, but she tossed it aside. This was a battle, after all, so she decided to go off her head.

Forget about a bang, let me start this with a Yang.

A cursed black cat screaming FUCK the White Fang

You all think you're great rappers just because you're lining Junior's pockets

My rhymes could blow all of your eyes straight from their sockets

But don't let me keep talking too much shit.

Your leader is the worst! The Red Bull? More like the Red Bitch!

Someone should tear those horns off and shove them up your ass

You thought that bringing this reptile was gonna save you from my class

Well, I came to school the both of you. I'm a lyrical wizard.

Your reptile lady must be a parking lot lizard.

Because she looks like every thug in this spot has been with her

She spat your prewritten lyrics. What is she, your kid sister?

And you, you think you can spin it better than me? That idea is obscene.

I've been out-rapping your scaly ass since we slammed at the Beastly Beans

This bull prick won't help you. He's on that same whack shit

I hope my bars taste bitter, you lyric-thieving bitch!!

The beat cut off at that point, as Blake had taken her allotted sixteen bars, but she paid that no mind and kept going. She got  into Ilia's face as she spun the next few bars.

Forget about that beat, Bear2. I'll spin some acapella

I'm surprised your damned scales haven't already turned yellow

Sure I'm over my bar limit, but let me finish first.

I bet you wish your boy toy here would make you finish first.

I know I used to, every time, but you chose to leave me far behind.

You may not be a pig Faunus, but you're a traitorous swine.

These tricks might think you're all fine, but this whole spot is asinine.

Fuck you and your bull boy, this battle is mine!

"INCONCEIVABLE! The Black Cat just spit 24 bars at the Red Bull! How will he follow that?" Bear2 announced over the deafening roar of the crowd. Taurus took the microphone and the beat dropped. He seemed to be holding off for dramatic effect, but he never even bothered to begin. He motioned to the deejay to cut the beat.

"I know when I'm beaten. Looks like the Black Cat is your new champion." He spoke, clearly annoyed. The audience cheered raucously for Blake and Yang, who kissed before they jumped off the stage. Sun congratulated them, as did his blue-haired man-piece Neptune. She crossed paths with Ilia as they left the club, but no words were spoken.

None were needed. She'd made her choice a long time ago, stealing Blake's lyrics for her own. She'd made another choice since then, running off with the White Fang crew to try and make herself a real poet. Maybe there was some talent among their ranks, but Taurus was only a ghostwriter. Then again, Ilia was only a reciter anyway, so perhaps the two deserved each other.

Blake and Yang held hands as they walked home, content to go fall asleep instead of spending their little bit of prize Lien. There would be time for that soon enough. Maybe a nice brunch or something tomorrow would do the trick. They were always down for food, after all.

\/\/\/\/\/

\/\/\/\/\/

\/\/\/\/\/

Day 17: A Pairing You Like

So the movie 8 Mile came on at my job the other night, and my coworker is a huge Eminem fan, so we watched it between serving customers. Anyway, the rap battles at the end got me thinking about Yang rapping, which in turn got me thinking of Blake rapping, which brought me to the idea of a rap battle with Adam Taurus, and so this monstrosity concept was conceived.

I wish I had a better reason, but I don’t. XD

THIS ONE HAS OVER 2,000 WORDS BY ITSELF! Good thing too, because my next one will just be me recounting my adventure of meeting Arryn Zech, so it will probably be super short. I’ll try and make it an actual story, but no promises. I am still behind, but I’m nearly caught up. YEAH!

[imaginetonyandbucky]

Prompts are open omgg! My prompt is: Tony acts like a playboy and a tough guy, but in reality, he is a sucker for everything emotional, romantic and affectionate. He lives for it. You can win his heart this way. Bucky loves it, loves doing all the romantic things for Tony and loves the expression on Tony's face whenever he does.

50 Ways to Woo Your Lover

“What the hell, Stevie,” Bucky whined to hisbest friend. “How the fuck am I supposed to impress a fucking geniusbillionaire?”

Steve, No Help At All, Charter Member, had thefucking gall to laugh at him. “You don’t,” Steve said. He didn’t quite finishthat up with Why would you even want to, but Bucky could see it dancingon the tip of his tongue.

Good thing for Steve they were already sparring,which meant that Bucky had gloves on and Steve was wearing protective headgear.Both things were actually pointless, if Bucky wanted to do damage. Bucky calmlyanalyzed the situation, found a good three dozen openings that Steve gave himin the first five minutes alone, and took exactly none of them. Right up untilthe very end, when he lightly tapped Steve in the nose with his elbow. (Okay,so the Winter Soldier version of lightly gave Steve a bloody nose and a splitlip, but hey, Bucky wasn’t above cheating. Never had been.)

“Look,” Steve said. He wasn’t even mad, he justhad his head tilted back and an ice pack over the bridge of his nose, eventhough everyone had already told him that didn’t help. “You think I know whatto do to win the girl. I’ve talked to like two in my entire life.”

“Tony’s not a girl,” Bucky growled. He was quiteaware of how very male Tony was. He couldn’t help but trace the lines of theman’s body with his eyes, couldn’t help leaning in a little closer to catch awhiff of that masculine scent, sweat and cologne and a tang of metal and fire.

“Probably even less help there, pal,” Stevesaid. “I dunno, you were always a hit with the dames back in the day. Howdifferent can it be?”

Clint snorted, the next time he’d passed Buckyin the hall and tossed a women’s magazine at him. Ways to win the heart ofyour lover, teased from the cover. Bucky didn’t even ask how Clint knew.There was no percentage in that play.

#1 - Write a poem

Tony spent most of his time in his workshop,surrounded by iron and steel, by fire and wire, by electric and circuits. Withrare exceptions, no one else was allowed in, unless Tony was already there --Pepper had an access pass, but these days she rarely used it. Rhodey, becauseTony was never sure when his bestie was going to be in town, and it was justeasier to let Rhodey come in and get his attention than to be sure that areminder would pry him out of his headspace and out for a dinner meeting.

(mobile readers, ware the readmore)

So why was there crumpled paper in hiswastebasket? Tony never used paper. Even when Pepper had things for him to signthese days, they were always on tablets or another device that he could use athumb print and scribble in the air with a light pen.

Tony fished the paper out of the trash; balledup and torn. He spread it out on his workbench, matching the pieces together.Hand-written, even. The letters were black and spiky, written with thatbackward slant that indicated a left-handed writer.

Tony

I am afraid of forgettingI am afraid of myselfI am afraid that I'll hurt someoneI am afraid that someone will be youI am even afraid you'll forget meI am afraid of the coldI am afraid of the darkI am afraid that blood is on my handsI am afraid that it's never mineI am even afraid sometimes it's yoursI want to know loveI want remember who I amI want your touchI want your kissI even want your loveI want to know who I amI want to remember who I wasI want to have a futureI want to have dreamsI even want to be with you

Most of all…..

#5 Pick Wildflowers

Five days running, Tony had opened the door to  the penthouse and found a little bouquet of daisies, tied with a silver  ribbon, laying across the hall.

Daisies didn’t smell like anything.

They were small, white and yellow.

The petals were not quite firmly attached; a  few of them always fell off when he picked up the packet. They weren’t  cultivated, either. Mandelbrot only knew where his unseen admirer was getting  them from. There were aphids crawling on the stems sometimes. The petals were  somewhat gray from being exposed to roadside air.

Every morning Tony brought them back into the  penthouse and found a little cup full of water to put them in.

The sixth day, he left a little note pinned to  the floor where the flowers had been left.

and while never saying a wordwho was anything but dumb;since the silence of himself sang like a bird.Most people have been heardscreaming for internationalmeasures that render hell rational—i thank heaven somebody’s crazyenough to give me a daisy

                                 Eecummings

The seventh day, someone left roses.

#19 Watch an old Movie

Tony would have thought it was Steve whoselected the black-and-white films, but Steve really had almost no interest inmovie night at all. He sat with everyone else, because it was expected andbecause Steve had some pretty firm beliefs about team-building activities, butwhenever it was Steve’s turn to pick the films, he usually selected somethingfrom the Oscars awards list, like he was going through in reverse chronologicalorder. According to Tony’s mental map, he was going to have to skip Steve’s turnin about a month, because he was not going to watch Forrest Gump again. Thatmovie was terrible the first time.

Bucky, on the other hand, kept picking all theold films. City Lights, Notorious, Roman Holiday, Camille.

And the man put off body heat like nobody’sbusiness. There was something about a super-soldier’s metabolism, Tonytheorized, but Bucky was like a portable furnace. Tony didn’t like to admit it,but he was getting older, and it started casually enough, just sitting next tothe man was enough to keep him warm.

Then he was leaning against Bucky, sharingpopcorn. No one sat on Bucky’s right, that was Tony’s spot, long before Tonyeven recognized it. Bucky was so warm, and soft. And one night, while they werewatching Philadelphia Story, Bucky’s arm went around Tony’s shoulderslike it was the most natural thing in the world. He played with the ends ofTony’s hair, fingers dangling loose and warm over Tony’s neck.

#34 Rooftop picnic

“Hey, Tony,” a soft voice grabbed his attentionand Tony looked up from where he was analyzing a three percent improvement inarc-reactor efficiency. “You hungry?”

“Hmmm?” Tony stuck the screwdriver in his mouth.He didn’t actually need a screwdriver, but he had a tendency to fiddle while hewas thinking and the screwdriver often seemed to end up in his hand, or in hismouth, or sometimes drumming it against the countertop. He went through a listof food that he thought he’d eaten in the last few days; an orange forbreakfast was the last thing he could remember and looking at the clock, hewasn’t sure if that was this morning or yesterday morning. He did sort of getinto the zone sometimes.’ “I could eat.”

Bucky gingerly took the screwdriver out ofTony’s mouth and put it down next to his toolbox. “That can’t be hygienic,”Bucky commented.

“Pfffft,” Tony dismissed this concern. Really,Bucky should have seen his working conditions in Afghanistan. On secondthought, and third, and maybe seventh as well, he probably should not. Buckyhad gotten a little wild around the eyes when Steve had off-hand mentionedTony’s captivity at the hands of Ten Rings, and Steve hadn’t even gotten intosome of the more gruesome parts of that memory.

Tony had to admit, he was surprised by that;given what Bucky had gone through with Hydra, he’d almost been expecting a boutor two of trauma-Olympics where a room full of people competed for who’d had itworst and everybody lost.

When Tony went to push the button for the commonkitchen, Bucky reached past him and thumbed the rooftop access.

“What’s up, Bambi?”

Bucky made a soft scoffing noise and rolled hiseyes. “It’s a surprise, genius,” he said.

The landing platform had a small table and twochairs set up; a simple peaked tent had been arranged, dripping with white Christmaslights, over the table.

A whiff of spicy Thai food came from silverplatters arranged on the buffet to the side.

“What is this?”

“Dinner,” Bucky said, offering Tony his arm.“Some genius you are.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “I know dinner. But…dinner, or… you know… dinner?”

“Whatever you want it to be, Tony,” Bucky said,all wide-eyed sincerity and earnest eagerness.

“Are you…” Tony wasn’t sure how to phrase it.“Are you --”

“Courting you?” Bucky suggested. “If… yeah, kinda,I guess. If you… wanted to, I dunno. I…”

Tony’s eyebrow shot up. “Is this a date, Barnes,it’s a yes or no question.”

James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Soldier, themost feared ghost-story assassin in the last century, stared down at the tipsof his boots and scuffed his foot in the gravel that covered the roof of theAvenger’s Tower. “Yes?” He looked for all the world like a high school juniorthat was trying to work up his nerve to ask out the homecoming queen.

It should not have been cute.

It should have been damn near terrifying.

It was fucking adorable.

“A date,” Tony said, again, slow. Rolling theword around in his mouth like he wasn’t sure what it was supposed to tastelike.

“Yes,” Bucky said again. “I’d… would you like tohave dinner with me, Tony?”

Tony rested his fingers on Bucky’s offered arm.“Yes, yes I would.”

#50 Do what comes naturally. Slowly.

Tony snuggled, wrapped around Bucky’s body likea cuddly octopus. “I want to see this list of yours,” he said.

Bucky blushed. He’d finally confessed, let Tonydrag it out of him with torturous kisses and teasing touches, that he’d gottenhis ideas from a glossy magazine. But Bucky had his number now. He kissedTony’s temple and worked his way down with soft nuzzles until he was nipping atTony’s throat. With all the wicked promise he felt in his heart, Bucky ran hishands up Tony’s body. “Shall I read it to you?”

[sickdaysofficial]

Changing Colours

Hi!! This is an OC fic. Seasickness. CW: alcohol mention, vomit

If you like this, there’s more at @anonyony1 ! Thanks for reading!

“It’s freakin’ huge in here!” Liam said, looking up at the giant chandelier in the entry of the cruise ship. Ira grinned.

“Look, they have every flag from all the countries,” Porter said, pointing at the tiny flags that circled the ceiling.

“I bet you there’s lots of international girls too,” he smirked. Becca rolled her eyes.

“Well, Ira, Ozzy, and Eno are on floor 6, room 234. Then Liam and Vera are in room 236. Across the hall, Porter and Becca in 235 and then Max and Joel in room 233,” Porter read off the itinerary they’d received.

The crew felt things shift as they took off from the dock. They were now on the ocean.

Ira had been more excited than anyone. He loved sailing and staring out at the open sea. He couldn’t wait to feel the waves for an entire week.

After some time in their rooms debriefing and resting, dinner was being served in the dining room. The gang made their way downstairs to eat.

“Oh, Ira, it’s a buffet,” Vera said, “your favorite.”

Ira gave her a weak smile. Honestly, he wasn’t very hungry. In fact, he felt a little sick.

Worse yet, he’d felt bad since just after they’d left port. Ira had been seasick before when he was younger, but years of gaining his sea legs had helped. Now, cars were his main cause of strife.

The excitement he’d had about feeling the waves all seemed to vanish. Now every wave made his stomach slosh in an uncomfortable way.

He wasn’t excited about sitting through dinner. He was sure he wouldn’t be able to eat.

“I think you should try the seafood!” Porter said, sitting down at the table across from Ira with a big plate of food. It took everything in him not to pull a face.

“You good?” Porter asked.

Ira frowned.

“I actually feel kind of bad,” Ira confessed. Porter cocked his head to the side.

“Bad about what?” He asked.

Ira shook his head, “no, like… I don’t know, I think I feel sea sick…”

Porter blinked, almost amusedly.

“Are you kidding? You’re a surfer. You’re in the ocean more than any of us,” Porter said.

Ira shot him a glare.

“I just need to rest, I think…” he jolted with a sudden hiccup that caught him off guard.

“I really think I’m gonna throw up,” Ira muttered quickly with a strong, convincing gag that made Porter nervous.

“Why don’t you go lay down? I’ll let the others know you weren’t feeling well. Maybe when you wake up you’ll feel better,” Porter suggested.

Ira nodded, sticking his fist to his lips. He was so queasy. He hated feeling this way.

He hurried up from the table, pushing past other cruisers to get to the exit.

Ira hurried through the foyer and into the elevator, praying he’d be okay once he laid down. He got to his floor and hurried around the turn to his bedroom.

He opened the door and beelined for the bathroom. He leaned over the toilet, the queasy sloshing in his belly was too much. He left his mouth hanging open over the toilet in preparation for what was to come, but it never did. After several minutes of anticipation, he let out a frustrated sigh. He still felt so sick. They were only a few hours into their trip and already it was ruined.

Ira left the bathroom and walked across the room to his bed. He flopped on his belly, pressing his face into the pillow. He didn’t take off his shoes or jeans. His jacket was still on. He wanted to fall asleep already.

Ira was woken up by a hand on his forehead. He squinted, blinking himself awake before realizing it was Vera.

His friends were all standing around him.

“No fever… you look absolutely green,” Vera frowned.

His face was tinged green and pale. He looked horrible. He was sweaty and his eyes were a bit red.

Ira looked at her with a confused stare for a moment before he swallowed.

“You alright?” Liam asked.

Ira shook his head, still in a bit of a daze.

“I’m ‘bout to throw up,” Ira slurred, his voice a bit gravelly from sleeping. And then he did, without any other warning or attempt to move. The sick spilled down his legs and on the bed. He gripped the edge of the nightstand until his knuckles were white.

Another wave came up and Porter grabbed a trashcan for him, shoving it in his lap right in time to catch most of it.

He belched as another, smaller wave came up through his nose and mouth. He winced as it burned his nose.

“Shit,” Max said, sitting on the other bed. Joel sat next to him and frowned at Ira’s misery.

“It’s okay, Ira,” Vera soothed. But Ira didn’t feel okay. He felt terrible. He wasn’t sure his motion sickness had ever been this bad. Every time he closed his eyes, he felt the ground moving beneath him. The dizziness was overwhelming.

“Okay, where’s Eno?” Vera asked, looking at Ozzy.

Ozzy shrugged.

“He said he was… going to the bar,” Ozzy said sheepishly. He didn’t want to rat his friend out, but the situation wasn’t looking good.

Vera frowned, then turned back to Ira who was swaying back and forth dizzily.

“I feel awful,” he said. And he looked it. Ira had always been so tan, Vera wasn’t sure she’d ever seen him this pale and green looking. In fact, she wasn’t sure she’d ever seen anyone quite this startling shade before.

“Everyone out,” Vera said.

“Go,” she said again, this time with a hand gesture shooing them away when they just stared at her.

The boys all made their ways out except for Liam. Liam got to work helping Ira up. Ira jerked forward with an unproductive gag which ended in a painful choking sound in the back of his throat. Ira was sick.

“Let’s get you to the bathroom at least,” Liam said, and Ira nodded miserably, walking through the room. He stripped of his sick-covered jeans and jacket in the bathroom, and Liam threw them in a giant trash bag for washing.

Ira was in his boxers now, freezing but somehow still sweating. He jerked over the toilet as a long, thick wave of sick came up. Liam was genuinely surprised – he wasn’t sure where that had come from.

“I’m dying, I think I’m dying, I’ve never felt like this,” Ira said, his voice hoarse from strain. It echoed against the walls of the toilet.

“You’re gonna be okay,” Liam promised. But he and Ira both knew this wouldn’t run its course. The problem was the trip, the boat they were stuck on for another six days.

Another painful retch tore from Ira’s throat as his stomach fought to send itself up.

“I’ll go find Eno,” Liam said with a sense of urgency. Ira was not well.

“If you find him,” Ira said, then spat into the bowl, “tell him not to come back up here. I don’t wanna see him.”

Liam stood in the doorway, now unsure. He prayed Eno wouldn’t be drunk when they found him. Ira had been more than patient with his brother, but even he wasn’t aware of the whole story.

And Ira was in no position to find out.

[einstein-robin-hood-blog]

NAKED LUNCH WITH POOH AND PIGLET By A. A. Milne and William Burroughs

Chapter One - In which Piglet plans a special luncheon for Pooh’s Birthday

Although Pooh was a bear of very little brain, Piglet was positive that he did, in fact, have a birthday. So he set himself to making plans for a picnic party with all the fixins: pickles, olives, tuna subs with chipotle mayonnaise, and lots of honey. Christopher Robin thought it was a fine idea: “I’ll make my famous brownies!” he shouted. Christopher Robin’s brownies were known all through the Hundred Acre Wood. He packed them with the finest herb. One small brownie would have you drooling buckets and put you over until well into next week. Christopher Robin ate two with every meal. He weighed exactly 375 pounds.

Tigger stopped by and took a look at the piece of paper that Piglet was using for his to do list. The first item was “MAKE LIST.” “Oooh hoo hoo! Listy ma twisty listy! Are you making a list, Piglet?” Before Piglet could respond, Tigger started in: “Humpitty chump chump, who needs a little bump? Bump bump a rump.” He took out a little glass bottle of coke and started waving it around.

“That coke is wack,” said Eeyore as he ambled into the clearing. “Owl cuts it with so much crap that you have to snort half a dozen lines before you feel anything.” He paused a moment before adding: “It’s very disconcerting.”

“Well, no one’s making you do Owl’s coke,” Piglet offered.

“That’s rippity roppity right,” said Tigger. “And Owl says if you keep talking trash about the product, I should pop a cap in your ass.”

“But I’m a donkey,” moaned Eeyore. Then he asked Tigger if he had any Quaaludes. “No,” said Tigger, “but I have some ether that will straighten you right out. Bloopity, sloopity, snoopity.” Eeyore said “Fine, I guess,” and sighed a deep sigh and tromped off to the meadow, his big ears flopping against the can of ether.

Piglet finished making his list, looked it over and announced that he had everything he needed back at his house, except the honey. “We must have lots of honey,” he told the group, “or Pooh will be jonesing really bad.”

Tigger stopped bouncing for a moment and told Piglet “I can get you honey, but it’ll cost you. We’re hard up right now because the bears are done hibernating and they’re raiding every beehive in the woods.”

Piglet asked him how much he wanted, and Tigger said one hundred acorns of the brightest shade of green. With the caps on.

“It’s a deal,” said Piglet, “can I get it by noon Saturday?”

“Does Pooh shit in the woods?” responded Tigger, “no problemo, amigo.”

Chapter Two - In which Pooh’s birthday party does not go as planned

Piglet decided to have the party at the Paint and Sip on West Pico Boulevard. They had a deal - a party of twelve got the first round of refills free. And the Paint and Sip on West Pico was the only one in town that had Tej - the Ethiopian honey wine that Pooh couldn’t get enough of.

Tigger showed up with the honey and threw in a few bags of Turkish opium as a birthday present. Tigger warned Piglet “Tell him no more than two bags at a time. Or else he’ll never come down. Or wake up, for that matter.”

Pooh showed up with guns blazing - literally. He had a chrome plated .357 magnum in each paw and announced his arrival by firing off a few shots into the air. Owl dropped some pellets and took off for the highest branch he could find. Pooh had his entire entourage of low rent she-bears with him - Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, and Kylie.

All of the she-bears squealed with delight every time Pooh fired his guns. Except for Khloe. She hated guns, and wasn’t too crazy about Pooh, if the truth be told.

“Why do you have to shoot your guns so much? It’s so uncool. And someone could get hurt.”

“What you talkin’ ‘bout?” Pooh responded. “Nobody gets shot, unless I want them to get shot.”

“Fine. I’m going to get myself a jar of honey and a glass of Tej and find a shady spot under a tree.” Khloe started to storm off, when Pooh stopped her.

“Now hold on there, darlin’, you know safety is job one with your Pooh Daddy.”

He holstered his guns, grabbed a tuna sub off the buffet table, and led Khloe over to the Honey Tree.

“Baby you stand here, and you’ll see something. Don’t move.”

He had Khloe stand with her back against the tree and balanced the tuna sub on her head. Then he measured off ten paces, drew one of his guns, and turned to face her.

Christopher Robin spoke up: “Ten paces? Kid stuff. My uncle Maurice could hit that sub at ten paces. And he has cataracts and a twitch.”

“Ten paces seems like a perfectly reasonable distance for an occasion like this,” Eeyore said. Then he wandered off to the buffet table, because he had heard that someone had put out a bowl of Quaalude salad.

But Pooh was stung by Christopher Robin’s remark. He was also extremely wired from too many lines of Owl’s third-rate blow. He paced off another 20 yards. Then he turned, faced Khloe, and drew one of his revolvers.

You’ll never guess what happened next.

[emetofiend2dand3d]

3C+4A Kyouya and Tamaki! Maybe they're at a fancy cruise or something and Kyouya had the misfortune of eating something bad (half of the passengers are sick) but thank god Tamaki didn't so he can take care of poor Kyouya.

3. Motion sickness C.Seasickness 4. Food poisoning A. Spoiled food .

It had been a lovely vacation. ‘Had’ being in the past tense as their lovely vacation was a thing of the past.

Kyoya’s family had planned a luxurious vacation for them on a cruise around the South Pacific. Without Kyoya’s approval, his father invited Tamaki, to maintain good relations. He was also expected to share a room with Tamaki while his older brothers stayed with his father.

Kyoya, who was expecting a vacation away from Tamaki, was not thrilled.

He spent most of the first day pouting, while Tamaki dragged him around every part of the boat exploring. He had never been on a cruise before and was bewitched by all of its charms.

One of the things he was most impressed with was the all you could eat twenty four hour buffet.

Kyoya however, had been on many cruises before and the novelty of them had long since worn off. He had no desire to get a slice of cream pie at three in the morning just because they could, yet Tamaki made him do it anyway.

Kyoya was not enjoying his vacation much at all, but he was a bit more excited when he saw they had put out the fresh seafood section of the buffet, which was his personal favorite. It was not always accessible because it had to be served fresh. Kyoya always found that sort of ironic considering they were on a boat. He took one or two of everything, knowing he wouldn’t he likely to get seconds, because the line for the seafood seemed to be a mile long.

Kyoya sat down next to Tamaki who was stuffing his face on what appeared to be a burger.

“There’s some of the highest quality seafood just over there and you’re eating peasant food?” Kyoya scorned.

Tamaki shook his head. “This isn’t peasant food, it’s steak tar tar!” He said with his mouth half full. “Besides.” He swallowed before continuing. “In Japan we eat seafood all the time. Don’t you all ever get sick of it?”

Kyoya sighed, shrugging, as he picked up a crab leg and broke it open. “I guess I can’t claim that you have poor taste, seeing as you were raised for the most part in France, a country famous for its lavish and exquisite food.” Kyoya said this a bit half heartedly, as he watched Tamaki devour his food rather distastefully. “Well, to each his own.” He said, before digging into his own meal.

.

It was at about three in the morning that he was awoken. He initially believed it was a noise that had woken him, but he came to think otherwise as he turned over on his side and was struck with a terrible feeling of nausea. The feeling jutted through his entire body, making him break into a sweat and he shot up in his bed. The act of moving did not benefit him in the slightest. He pitched forward, clutching his stomach with both arms and moaning.

He looked over at Tamaki’s bed and saw him still fast asleep. Kyoya let out an internal sigh, just before he heard a noise outside, and Tamaki rolled over in bed.

Kyoya flinched when he heard Tamaki speak. “Kyoya? What are you doing up?” He sounded drowsy and rubbed his eyes as he looked at him with confusion.

Kyoya paused, trying to think of an excuse. “Ano… I heard a noise outside the door that roused my sleep.” He said, trying not to sound like he was straining himself.

“Oh?” Tamaki got out of bed, opened the door and looked outside. He gasped as he saw people sitting in the hallways with blankets. Doctor’s and nurses were wondering around with handouts, checking the passengers.

“What are you ogling at?” Kyoya put on his glasses and irritatedly pushed passed Tamaki. When he witnessed the sight his eyes widened and he swallowed hard. His heart leapt when he saw his eldest brother with his second brother’s, who was being helped with his arm over his shoulder. His brother helped him sit against the wall.

“What’s going on?” He raced up to them.

“They say it’s food poisoning.” His eldest brother sighed.

“An epidemic of food poisoning.” His second brother groaned, shutting his eyes and hugging his waist.

“What about father?” Kyoya found himself feeling worried.

“He’s fine. He’s helping the doctors make rounds.” His eldest brother told him.

Kyoya sighed a breath of relief, just before he was struck with another wave of nausea and the color drained from his face. He felt a bit wobbly on his feet and he swayed dizzily.

“Kyoya, are you feeling alright?” His eldest brother put his hand on his shoulder. “You look decidedly pale. Did you have any of the sea food?”

Kyoya was filled with panic. “S-s-sea food?” He stuttered.

His eldest brother sighed. “You’d better sit down.”

Kyoya was in too much shock to sit down. He looked around at all the sick passengers roaming around the halls like zombies. The boat was ripe with the smell of sickness. The atmosphere was almost too much for him to take.

Tamaki ran out of their room and came up behind him. “Kyoya! What’s going on?”

Before his eldest brother could even feel his forehead for a fever, Kyoya grabbed Tamaki and locked them both in their room.

He leaned against the door and slid down it to the floor, clutching his stomach and panting.

Tamaki seemed to be in as much shock as he was. “Kyoya… you’re s-sick?”

Kyoya glared at Tamaki with flaming eyes. “No! Of course I’m not sick!” He panted. He could feel sweat dripping down his forehead as his stomach tied itself in knots.

“I’ll go tell your brother. You look ill.” Tamaki tried to get passed the door but Kyoya shot him a look that made him appear as though he was about to bite Tamaki’s head off.

“I told you I’m fine!” He insisted.

Tamaki swallowed, and sat down on his bed nervously.

“Go back to bed.” He insisted.

“I’m already awake.” Tamaki told him. “Besides, it’s too noisy outside to go back to sleep.”

Kyoya snarled under his breath. “Fine. Then go out and help.”

“I’d love to help.” Tamaki admitted. “But I won’t leave you if you’re sick.”

Kyoya had just about had enough. “I said get out!” He shouted.

“No!” Tamaki refused, stomping his foot. “You are clearly ill and refusing to admit it. And I cannot in good conscious abandon a friend in need.”

Kyoya probably would have blown his top, if it weren’t for his stomach, which decided to lurch suddenly.

He cupped his hand over his mouth and pushed himself up with his free hand, darting to the restroom in the shared bedroom.

He pulled up the toilet cover gagged harshly into the bowl. Before he could even swallow to stop it from happening again, another sharp gag sent him ducking forward again. His glasses slid down his nose and he took them off. He had no intention of having a quality picture of the event anyhow. His stomach muscles tensed strongly, forcing his stomach contents up. He could feel his lunch and dinner making their way up his esophagus as he coughed painfully.

Tamaki simply stood watching, feeling helpless.

Before long, the contents of his stomach were forced out, and Kyoya found himself spewing vile liquids into the water. He spat into the toilet with disgust, panting heavily. The first bout didn’t seem to do anything to relieve his nausea, and only irritated his throat.

Only just after catching his breath, he felt his stomach convulse again and he was once again reduced to vomiting into the toilet. This went on for almost an hour.

Tamaki stood in their bedroom pacing back and forth anxiously. He couldn’t stand feeling so helpless, but Kyoya wouldn’t let him get close. Until about two hours later when Tamaki had almost drifted back to sleep, he heard Kyoya calling his name dryly. “Tamaki?”

Tamaki jumped up and ran in to see him. He found Kyoya resting his head on his arms which were leaning on the rim of the toilet. His hair was drenched in sweat and he had dark circles around his eyes. His lips were dry and his back was arched uncomfortably.

“Please-” Just trying to speak caused him to gag. “I need my brother.” His voice was raw from vomiting so much in such a short period of time.

“Okay. I’ll be right back.” Tamaki assured him.

Tamaki returned shortly after with his eldest brother, who examined him briefly. Then he guided Kyoya back to his bed and placed a trash bin beside him. He closed his eyes immediately after his head hit the pillow. His brother wet a hand towel and put it over his forehead.

“Will he be okay?” Tamaki asked the moment he seemed to be finished examining him.

“He’s in for a rough night, but he’ll be fine.” He assured Tamaki.

Tamaki was relieved. “I’ll take care of him.” He asserted.

Kyoya’s brother smiled at him. “That might do him some good. I gave him some water supplements to ensure he doesn’t get too dehydrated. I plan to come back in a few hours and give him some more. If you could watch over him until then, that would be most appreciated.”

“Yes sir.” Tamaki smiled.

Chuckling at Tamaki’s response, he left the room. Tamaki pulled up a chair and sat beside Kyoya’s bed. Just as he would find himself drifting off to sleep, Kyoya would roll over with a groan and Tamaki would help him sit up and ensure he vomited into the bin. The night went on like that until his brother returned just as the sun was coming up.

“Kyoya? How are you feeling.” He asked.

Kyoya looked up at his brother with a sharp glare. “Why did you wake me up so early?”

“I came to give you something to rehydrate you.” He explained.

Kyoya scoffed. “The next time you wake me up before sunrise, it better be for something important.”