#that broke me even more tbh
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I hope we meet again someday, my friend...
#🖼️┋art#🐭���personal#I'll miss you so much Joy Sandwich ;; _ ;;#I wish I didn't agree to let her leave#I immediately regretted my choice and started crying...#I should have waited until I was truly comfortable with her leaving before letting her go#letting her leave is so much worse than having her get married too like#at least when they get married they happily ride off into the sunset with their partner#instead she packed a little bag and walked out the door#but then came back while crying for a few seconds before leaving again for good ;; _ ;;#that broke me even more tbh#YES I'M DEPRESSED OVER MY TAMAGOTCHI LEAVING#I promise I'll keep hunting for another female Tamagotchi with a 'naughty' nature#one day I'll find you again Joy Sandwich#and this time I won't let you go ;; _ ;;#*breaks down crying for the 6th time today*#tamagotchi#tamagotchi uni#mimitchi
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Unrelated, but if it rains again today I'm gonna scream. I'm trying to dry the damn washing 🙄
Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me
#Help me pay for groceries and pretty lingerie! And chew toys to distract beanie baby so I can go shower for more than 2 minutes#satans knitwear#Didn't even have one full song in the shower before she broke out of puppy jail to search for me 😅🐶#cheeky#Pls enjoy some more soft and delicious tiddy on this fine Wednesday. It doesn't feel like a Wednesday tho tbh#uk girl#bi girl#girls with piercings#alt pinup#pinup girl
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not to be weird and sappy on main, but frfr i'm so glad i have found a community of people who think my work is good
#talking#to the tags if you want the longer rant that maybe i'll talk about fully one day#tl;dr when i was in hs i was with my ex that i think ive mentioned like once or twice#there was a lot of shit wrong with that relationship and us and me at the time#but the thing that happened after we broke up which was the worst was her saying i was passionless#because in her mind i wasn't 'trying hard enough'#didn't help that she was super talented in art (even if thinking about it now its way too disney for my taste tbh)#and seemingly had her life together bc she had a super cool supportive mom#(wish i could've gotten her in the divorce tm)#and tbh that haunted me for YEARS#i stopped drawing for years after being with her#i didn't really pick up drawing HARD again until 2020#and i didn't really work on many of my own wips#just kinda poked at the ashes of the wips i got in the divorce (which funnily enough i don't use anymore. used the ocs but not the plots)#i was just so fucked up about it#but seeing y'all comment that you like my writing and my art#having people say that my worldbuilding is fire and passionate#idk it heals the part of me that died that day#so thank you all from the bottom of my soul#whenever y'all are kind enough to compliment me the hole mends even more#so idk i was just thinkin about it like bro the difference between me then and now is night and day#in part to all my lovely friends and mutuals#so yeah idk thank u i'm gonna go back in me corner again
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Stupidest thing to happen to me on twitter was when people were coming onto MY post that I made defending the dsmp, telling other people to not make it about Dream bc he contributed nothing LIKE MF ITS MY POST !! Defending Dream is ALWAYS allowed on all my posts like who tf even are you 😭😭
It’s also funny bc the only people even bringing Dream up were people shitting on him for “not contributing” to the dsmp or whatever like no one except for antis were even making my post about him like idfk who they’re even yelling at
#ALSO BOOOOO BAD TAKE#that had nothing to do with my post either#I literally just said dsmp was not a failure and saying tjay is crazy pants#tbh I think the line at the end saying that ‘just bc it became disorganized at the end doesn’t mean it failed’#may have been taken as an invitation to shit on Dream#even tho tjay wasn’t my intention at all like I personally think there were wayyy more factors than Dream not answering dms that caused the#server to die down a bit but whatever drantis will take it however they want#to me mentioning lack of organization at the end of dsmp is not a dig at Dream :/#I just kind of felt bad a bit bc I didn’t think my post would get more than 5 likes so I wasn’t thinking about how antis would interpret it#it ended up getting 7.4K likes and it definitely broke smiletwt containment#their obnoxious takes on Dream still have nothing to do with my post tho#.___.
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Girl help my housemate is judging me really meanly for having sex with a guy that (accidentally!!) misgendered me in front of them (apologized immediately)
#housemate tag#fuck buddy#I'm more upset about the being judged than the being misgendered tbh#I was even telling a different housemate that it wouldn’t have bothered me at all if we were in an actual relationship#he said “after you my lady”#i said “I'm not a lady”#but listen if we were dating I'd fucking swoon over that shit sue me#not actually I'm broke
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oh yeah btw! i listened to the new tyler the creator's new album a few days back, every song is so good but i think my personal faves are darling, i, st. chroma, and like him :3
#might listen to it again bcus i think i forgot some of the songs </3#but these three stuck to me !!#especially like him#THOSE FUSHIGURO EDITS I SAW ON TWT BROKE ME#so i listened to it heh ..#kinda ruined me even more tbh#miro's diary
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decided to rewatch oli's christmas song stream from last year and remind me again why the fuck oli/sausage is a rarepair again. he sings no less than five romantic songs about sausage (admittedly two of those are just different versions of santa, baby). one of them is him and sausage singing baby it's cold outside together. oli literally left heaven to find this man. what. what am i seeing that everyone else isn't hello.
#space rambles#sorry every once and a while i have to get ill about them again#remind me of this post when it's actually closer to christmas#and maybe ill write/draw something inspired by them singing it's cold outside actually#more likely draw but idk we'll see what i'm feeling#i do genuinely love this stream even though by GOD sausage cannot hold a tune#oli's great as always though#also in the two different versions of santa baby oli says “ive been an awful good boy” and “ive been an awful good girl” so like. gender wi#slight revision he technically sings FOUR songs about sausage#because he sings last christmas at two points and the first time around he goes:#“this year to save me from tears ill give it to someone special (sausage)”#the second time around it's eddie because. of course it is.#and also tbh i think the second time around he is??? maybe singing last christmas about sausage?????#they broke up in the like 30 minutes in between the two versions#ANOTHER EDIT. IT WAS FIVE SONGS (can you tell im just listening to the music again)#the “underneath the misletoe” bit in “all i want for christmas is you” is also followed by him going “sausage”#he's normal
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“Panic! at the Disco broke up” bitch breaking up implies there’s more than one person here. I’d say it’s been disengaging since 2009 and just finished. Like one of those time lapse videos of a rotting watermelon but it had makeup at one point.
#panic! at the disco#part of me feels odd (ha) bc the band that made fever and pretty odd broke up finally but also#good riddance i dont know if I could take much more of it#truly ended earlier tbh#shit was getting stale tho#even the album cover was stale#i knew something was up when the album cover was just him standing lmao#anyways *waits for new fob content* :D#oh yeah also it would be pretty funny for ryan ross to make some sorta return or something lmao
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Can I be honest here. Finally accepting that I am an introject both explained so much and has been very healing for me. Like after being in denial for 5+ years finally just going "ok fine yeah maybe I am JD from heathers the musical" was like taking a massive weight off my shoulders. Me when I finally accept myself!!!!!! 🐬🌈✨
#herbert speaks#it also just explained a lot#like “why do i have not real memories of dying in an explosion that are distressing to me” (pointing at myself) YOU ARE JD!!!!#“why do i have such an obsession with 711 and slushies?” YOU ARE JD!!!!!!#i still want to fakeclaim myself real bad but im working on it 💪💪#the source memories became so much less distressing when i finally figured out what my issue is. like “ohhh its just source stuff i see now”#finally accepting myself and learning to live with everything!! 🐬🌈✨🐬🌈✨#kinda funny bcs I Am the Core too. like hey guys im the original person born in this body. im also JD from heathers the musical.#which means i can make jokes abt how if i wasnt a system id be a JD kinnie singlet 💀 terrifying thought tbh i cant imagine not being a sys#like what would i even do as a singlet. i would just be One Guy. what would i even do. i straight up cant even imagine that#cause even before i knew i was a system weird shit kept happening. like blacking out n when i come back my friends call me hawkstar now.#or like blinking and 4 days had passed and i couldnt tell u a single thing that happened in that time#the amnesia was badddd shoutout to system acceptance and knowledge being more available online bcs imagine if i never knew why this happened#imagine if i never figured out what a system was or found ways to communicate with my system or broke down amnesia barriers. .(shudders)#thats like. the evil timeline. where i never figure out wtf is happening to me#UGH I HAVE TO GO TO WORK NOW AND SEE MY SHITTY COWORKER that fucking SUCKS
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not to be ungrateful but i don't get paid enough at my job lol
#the problem with jobs that people do bc they love the work is that it doesn't pay well and you will be overworked to death#genuinely couldn't quit bc i love the kids too much already but 15 an hour is....not ideal tbh....#how am i supposed to make future plans in these conditions#i cant ask for a raise ive only worked here 3 months but ugh#the only reason i got hired is i finally broke my rule abt the minimum hourly rate i was willing to accept#i applied to the two 14-16 an hour jobs and used the one i already accepted to get this one to gove me 15 instead of 14#but that's still not a lot tbh#need to buy an oven since we havent had a working one since january#and i keep gping ok next time i get paid i will buy an oven#and it hasnt happened yet#and i need.....17k to invest in starting my own business and i will not see a return on that for a very long time 😭#and i have no idea where that money will be coming from lol#fortunately its not that time sensitive except it kind of needs to happen in the next year or two probably but idk#if i dont do what i need to do idk what will happen but i think the issue will become more expensive but also maybe less expensive#but also uglier and make my neighbors mad#but i have no choice but to wait bc i have no money for that lol#anyway#17k is my immediate expense but i also need to come up with the money to eventually buy my parents house somehow#and i dont even make enough to pay the mortgage 😭#fortunately i dont need to do that for a long time but...eventually#anywayssss#how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions#i do love working with kids but jts hard work and all my coworkers are petty and hate eachother so its a lot#and i dont make enough money to live fr#im so lucky i live w my parents bc nobody at my job makes enough to live on their own lol#also the sheep that are supposed to be clearing brush got sick and went back to their farm and they're not coming back this year at all#so we need to brush hog it#or contract another farm#im not sure if its even safe w their poop all over the place snd im not getting any communication from the farmers#but it lowkey might be better to get our own sheep but thats so much work i dont want to think abt doing livestock
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losing my mind so bad rn i wanna do things i literally cannot say on other platforms bc i will get banned or something.
#ghost talk#broke my self harm streak#wanted to do worse tbh but didnt#but god the thoughts dont leave huh#and my mother oh gods#why cant she leave me alone?#everything is so much worse when she gets involved even sligjtly#slightly*#but goddamn i just got back from ✨vacation✨#i shouldnt be feeling like i want to slit my wrists and overdose yk#and yet here i am#and with nobody to talk to because whats therapy?#friends? yea i guess i have them. but they dont talk to me and. actually bringing this shit up is a whole other thing that i cant do#i dont trust my siblings because theyre snitches at best. so. its really just me and. whatever i can stand to say to my partner#before my stomach bubbles over and i feel to sick to continue the conversation#you know?#i could say so much more but i'll spare the tags the details#just. been a bad couple of days i guess#mental health? who's that?#sigh
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i bet you think about me is so regulily fr
#like.. specifically thinking about a famous singer!lily au where her and regulus used to date#but he broke up with her as she got more popular as his family found out about it and he was too scared about getting disowned and stuff#so he listened to his parents and broke up with her and mentally tried to make himself distanced so he would actually be able to do it#and then lily writes the song about him#i mean tbh it also works with just. usual them. like them dating in school but his parents make him bw a deatheater#so he breaks up with her before even telling her about it because he knows she'd break up with him as soon as he does#like. “you grew up in a silver spoon gated community.. i was raised on a farm. no it wasn't a mansion.”#“reality crept it. you said we're too different”#“i don't have to be a shrink to know you'll never be happy. and i bet you think about me.”#“oh block it all out. the voices so loud saying why did you let her go?”#“chasing make believe status. last time you felt free was when none of that shit mattered cause you were with me.”#“it turns out im harder to forget than i was to leave. yeah i bet you think about me.”#SO THEM FR FR#I PROMISE YOU ALL!!!#marauders era#marauders#regulily#lily evans#regulus black
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i cant believe im sick again this is ridiculous
#i was just starting to feel better after a week in bed#spent 2 days traveling#and bam#coming down with something again#what am i even wearing a mask for#god fuck me#honestly idk how many more setbacks i can handle#ever since i broke my shoulder#idk it feels like#ive just been treading water#trying to catch up#but im not getting anywhere#its just one curveball after another#like playing whack a mole#always putting out fires#<- and atruggling to find the right metaphor lmfaoo#and beyond that zero chance to focus on the important thing (writing this fucking thesis)#i dont even have anything to look forward to#thats the problem innit#right now my life sucks#and yet i am on the comfortable side of things#once i graduate there's only gonna be money problems and debt and a housing crisis and not being able to do what is right for me and pain a#nd suffering#the fucking bureaucracy#god i hate this country#its not something to look forward to#it feels like im waiting for my execution tbh#so yeah#no wonder im doing my utmost to sabotage myself#tbd
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Since when is it against the rules to post or talk about trades and “in search of” listings on Mercari?? I’m more familiar with depop and know this happens all the time there, but I had no idea it’s against mercari’s policy?? I’m trying to find someone who’s going to any of the remaining shows for Melanie Martinez’s Trilogy Tour and who would be kind enough to get me a poster cuz they ran out when I went to my show last night
#I kinda hate Mercari tbh cuz 2 bitches gave me a 4 and 3 star rating for the stupidest reasons#I always packaged my stuff with bubble wrap and/or paper and stuff#the 3 star one was a total bitch cuz a leg of a tokidoki bling box broke in transit#even though I bubble wrapped them carefully too???#I have one person who messaged me whose willing to get me a poster on Mercari#regardless I’m tempted to deactivate my listings on Mercari cuz everything is god awful there#and I know more about using depop too#jazz uses curse! 💜
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ok i stole this from twt but work has been driving me crazy today. toji bullying me back.
#jupiter.speaks#> i still need to vote augehehegeheghhh!!!!!!!!#> i hate testing sometimes i need to fall on the floor dramatically and sob. brother. it is broken. 💔#> i dont know when it broke or if it ever worked. i think the latter tbh our last dev for this was. not super great at checking these parts#> theres still like. at least 3 pages that are suuuper insecure. like um. i know its not urgent but could we actually make it urgent#> just think i need a toji like man in my life. whatever ive been listening to too many love songs the past few days its gotten me all soft#> the toji hole. is that hes. fuck man i said i wasnt gonna have another. me when i LIE. TO MYSELF!#> yknow wbat fine. toji fo. whatever. fucking brain. okay let me expand that#> right tojo hole is that he is emotionally fucked up me too buddy. bully each other. even like yrs down the line or whatever#> like if im bein fuckin fr rn. im more likely to bully n tease an fo. i dont know im takin too seriously. i need to punt him into the sun#> thanks for readin 🙏 i will now find more insecure pages 🙏#❤️.toji
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most patients i work with are seniors and i had a patient the other day say "this is my first time in the hospital!" despite being like 70-80 something, and every time a patient says something like that it sorta knocks me on my ass. like it's unfathomable to me
#seeing that one poll going around about the first time you were admitted to a hospital#ans seeing nearly 30% of you guys have just never been admitted??? wild. what's that like#and honestly probably more because i know some people count an er visit as 'being admitted' (those are not the same thing)#a family friend broke his leg really horribly and i saw him a few months ago#and he as also like 'oh yeah i'd never been in the hospital at all before this! even for an er visit! i'd never had an IV!'#it's just mind boggling to me tbh
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