#that broke me even more tbh
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I hope we meet again someday, my friend...
#🖼️┋art#🐭┋personal#I'll miss you so much Joy Sandwich ;; _ ;;#I wish I didn't agree to let her leave#I immediately regretted my choice and started crying...#I should have waited until I was truly comfortable with her leaving before letting her go#letting her leave is so much worse than having her get married too like#at least when they get married they happily ride off into the sunset with their partner#instead she packed a little bag and walked out the door#but then came back while crying for a few seconds before leaving again for good ;; _ ;;#that broke me even more tbh#YES I'M DEPRESSED OVER MY TAMAGOTCHI LEAVING#I promise I'll keep hunting for another female Tamagotchi with a 'naughty' nature#one day I'll find you again Joy Sandwich#and this time I won't let you go ;; _ ;;#*breaks down crying for the 6th time today*#tamagotchi#tamagotchi uni#mimitchi
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Unrelated, but if it rains again today I'm gonna scream. I'm trying to dry the damn washing 🙄
Treat me ~ Tip Me ~ More of me
#Help me pay for groceries and pretty lingerie! And chew toys to distract beanie baby so I can go shower for more than 2 minutes#satans knitwear#Didn't even have one full song in the shower before she broke out of puppy jail to search for me 😅🐶#cheeky#Pls enjoy some more soft and delicious tiddy on this fine Wednesday. It doesn't feel like a Wednesday tho tbh#uk girl#bi girl#girls with piercings#alt pinup#pinup girl
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you got a fast car // i want a ticket to anywhere maybe we can make a deal // maybe together we can get somewhere
#cp2077#cyberpunk 2077#cp2077 photomode#cp2077 screenshots#cyberpunk screenshots#cyberpunk 2077 photomode#cp2077 oc#cp2077 edit#masc v#male v#maddox de vasconcelos schaeffer#there'd be so many more pics of him in the badlands if the lighting there didn't wash him out to hell n back ngl#the amount of TIMES the shot ended up overexposing itself even though i had the game exposure cranked all the way down#and i ended up having to redo the lighting again and again but the overexposure wouldn't go away anymore#grr snarl etc#also the nibbles replacer broke for me so my new year's resolution of taking more couple shots is off to a bad start#tbh i imagine he's moving an entire truck full of server racks around when he's moving camp#anyway i think i'll reblog this with some more lore attached later
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they are ignoring my big beautiful pathetic himbo wife and his cute little platypus tail that he has for some tank part reason im too dumb to understand why
#how can u laugh 😿 this is not a JOKE 😾⁉️⁉️⁉️#love the way starscream was smiling and entertained by demo's people pleasing and having to make himself frown#so he can make demo even more exasperated by his apathy#'it's funny when he nags cyclonus but he can stfu around me pls '#part of what makes armada starscream so cool is demo taking a lot of the more pathetic sides of his ppl pleasing#starscream's ppl pleasing is more for competitive career (power) reasons and fear#demo's tries to be but also he just wants megatron to like him and be nice to him pls :(#whereas megs actually likes starscream and wants him to succeed one day just not today lol#and starscream is like no wtf ure weird i just want ur position . gtfo#it's like the one worker the manager wants to make a new manager one day but the worker hates it there & just does whats needed then leaves#& trains new ppl by being like 'yea so the fuckass manager likes it like this so if u see him then do that shit but heres how i do it lol'#new ppl being mini cons who hes like that cool younger adult to wholl send ppl home instantly if theyre sick & is chilled but professional#meanwhile demo is the suck up tryhard who just needs to put the fries in the bag bro#he wants to be manager so bad but hes also annoying and dumb and megs just wants him to leave his office so he can pretend 2 work#cyclonus is the broke guy who just goofs off bcs if he gets fired then he gets fired but they havent yet bcs theyre understaffed#n he knows it too. he sleeps on the job if it slows down for 1 second. but hes an adrenalin junkie who can get distracted#demo wants meg to want his effin cookje so freaking bad... i love pathetic men#sideways secretly has 3 jobs total & 2 of them are at their competitors' who pay better so he dgaf abt this one#he never picks up shifts and doesnt care abt working less hours. hes hust here for the drama tbh#he clocks in wondering if demo will ever get that megadck hes been bitching abt#he clocks out a disappointed fujoshi#it's ok bcs karen hot rod who works at their competitors comes storming in with his kids & needs rizzed up#by either starscream or sideways bcs they fucked up his kids' orders on purpose after hr gave them a spiel abt their long list of allergies#demolisher#starscream#cyclonus#transformers#maccadam#tf armada#sideways
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vvvery well then ill come off anon, feel free to block me as you see fit
i said it because even if we dont interact anymore, i hate seeing people get kicked when theyre down. i cant stand bullying and i cant stand condescending bullshit directed at people who dont deserve it. it wasnt a waste of time because any time a person is getting hurt and they dont deserve it, i step in. i dont care if it was my business or not. it wasnt a waste of time because you still deserve to be treated with respect.
ill say it as many times as i have to but you really dont deserve the hatred you receive. everyone in that server kept telling you that we never hated you but you kept believing we did to the point where it felt like you were making us out to be the bad guys. it was incredibly unhealthy on both sides. we hoped that if we just stayed moots with you on tumblr that itd be okay and that you could distance yourself as much as you needed to so that it wouldnt be so overwhelming.
i see that that probably wasnt really issue but possibly several other things. if you want to stop posting content related to alnst then so be it. thats your decision. we will dwell on you because youre an amazing person and there are many fond memories with you and your characters. if you dont want to participate in any of the fan seasons, including sona season, then we will make adjustments for you. whatever you want to do with your characters is completely up to you.
thank you for being a beautiful and wonderful being, and i hope that whatever you choose to do, you do it in good conscience. we dont want to push or annoy you any further than we might be doing (sorry, genuinely. i really do care about you tbf.) but we also just want you to be happy.
/gen, /lh, and /withlove.
- zen (papa, if youre still willing to call me that /nf)
It was you -!!! (Geno sans, CPAU comic dub voice) ((I knew itt.. you do stand up for others and are more vocal about being ..indunno but I guess yk inna way, just the way you typed it (sorry if that's ..weird/creepy), the way that you confront others and such .much braver ig, since you take action a lot))
Sorry for making it seem like I was making y'all the bad guys. Didn't mean to, and honestly shouldn't have done that- that was wrong of me from the start. Though, now I don't think I can remember- well. Given how it was like. Two months ago now? And I do forget a lot so- ...sorry for unfollowing as well (tho I know that no matter the amount of me saying sorry will ever fix things up since I avoid what happened/etc..)
I don't really think I can stop posting alnst/alnst oc content. I'm in too deep, in three gc (AREPH, Setup and Takedown, and then Toxic ysosu)— I have an Au (you probably know or maybe not; Sonic.exe like au, I'm mainly focusing on the hypothetical 3d game in the universe that happens in 2035, called Mor. I remember asking you for permission, but then again.. gah. Fucking sorry for putting onna invisible time limit to the question, as said- for almost everything I've done since I was in the series(what I call servers now) and out of it.... Though you did say we don't talk anymore, and so like. Yeah- haven't answered my question- tho ITS TOTALLY NORMAL! FINE! Just slightly weird?? That like. Just recently you came here to like. Ig cheer me up? When I was "kicked down even more". Tho it is .you. You did say that you can't stand what they have said to me and what/who they were referring to, which is interesting but I won't bother you with anything i have to say) — I still have a lot more to show (so many hidden characters and hidden lore) and post,, and I've been going back to writing like. Flor's lore, and getting some basic ideas down. Besides, I still can't stop thinking of the ocs and such.. as ..said..... I'm in too deep (was basically here from the start.. before s39 was even s39.....ah..kills the wall). And it's not leaving me anytime soon, since I always have thoughts- ideas and such. <- this is what 50+ OCS does to a person
I still have OCS, in the seasons. I still have OCS I want to work on and expand on.
Besides, Eddy and Sebastian have a very close bond. Flor, Oli, Dian, Faisal, and their other siblings are well. Siblings. Four of them don't belong to me. I have OCS in romantic relationships with others, and all of that. I can't just .. abandon it all honestly.
For the Sona Season, I think I'm like. Basically disqualified though? Before I did whatever I did, I kinda did ask to be in round1 so things can end faster for my sona. But then again. <- is a whiny person. <- impatience, which is wrong. <- generally a ""ugly"" one. So I just decided to do what I did in the server basically— and just leave the Garden & Stage thing. ..tbh I did do a song-comic, but I doubt you want to see anything I do now (NOT trying to make you see what I do. Waste of time. And again in the previous ask you sent you used past tance and so that practically means that we are thru, huh? Along with us not talking to each other besides those two asks you sent to this blog..along with the Seb song. But I don't think that you and the others don't want to touch anything made by me or are related to me! Which I totally get)
You all have NEVER annoyed me or pushed me, at all (only ever asked me for some small things, or actually nothing at all). IM the one who's annoyed and pushed you all (too many ideas, too many posts I've tagged as ocs- I've tagged y'all in, etc etc. basically at those times and still now, it's just me talking to a wall). It's.. stupid to apologize for what I've been doing the most.
Also don't .. apologize for caring actually. I don't know what to say, or have anything to say besides that.. still can't fucking believe that you are still. That you still allow me the chance to call you papa...stupid of me to have mentally clocked the community as a family(ish?only a few) to me. since it ended up with me being .not continuing that sentence. but yeah, really stupid of me to have you all as family when we ended up like this.which is unhealthy as you said! What type of friendship is like person A: your my friend! / Person B: (you are like a sibling to me. You are family.) ???? Certainly not a working healthy one. Because I became so very impulsive when .not finishing that either.
#ask#zerostyrant#tbh i think i needed to cry after these two asks you sent. tho reminded me on how i would actually#. before all of the alnst stuff. i would mainly cry because my ex .one time wasnt responding to me for like#...i knew i counted. (seconds to months for sure) but its been like. months now since we broke up. ah#but. uh. yeah. uhm. when he wasnt responding to me i was scared he mightve died in some way (thank god he didn't.....)#and then there was a second time where i cried more as well. smth smth. had to deal with Kayo Sudou and a song#smth about a crane and feathers snd such. and kayo i believe just. working until her lover can finally heal up and live even if she dies#working to save up money to help heal him..though maybe thats wrong in actual Evillious Chronicles lore#.the song did appear in a Obey Me! x Evillious Chronicles texting story so. i dunno but yeha#// also.tbh this is like .i think the hardest ive ever cried before#but hey. they say crying is good for the body right? so. uhm. thanks ...#((oh yeah..the counting happened when we were still together. the song happened like .after a couple of months#when we broke up and stuff))
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last spoti wrapped post but this was the evolution from last year to this year when i realized i could just convert all my fav tracks on spotify to mp3s on my fav offline app…get ready for next year when i’ve downloaded every song i can think of and no longer need that stupid ass app unless it’s to discover new songs!!
#also this is a reminder that i am criminally insane about music#if i was talented enough i’d probably be in a band rn#my entire life’s dream but im currently too broke to buy an instrument and also probably too old to learn how to play one#but like…i was meant to do something music related with my life this is proof#ughhhh like i want it more than anything but alas…not sure if it’s meant to be#also it’s always morally correct to 🏴☠️music on the spot app#why would I want to sit through five ads when I can listen to music uninterrupted for free??#i had like 5000 songs on the app before i learnt I could just convert the spot tracks so now I gotta replace them all slowly#like the spotify users and the apple music users should come together and find a way to mp3 their tracks#maybe then the companies would make their free apps better#also you heard none of this from me#I did not teach you to 🏴☠️ the spotify tracks you learnt that on your own#plus wrapped this year sucked major ass that’s why i’ve barely posted mines#motley crue on top three of my top artists was a major surprise tbh even though I’ve been listening to them quite a bit this year and last#but like…who really cares tbh. sorry for yapping this much#like wtf am i on about lmaooo
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not to be weird and sappy on main, but frfr i'm so glad i have found a community of people who think my work is good
#talking#to the tags if you want the longer rant that maybe i'll talk about fully one day#tl;dr when i was in hs i was with my ex that i think ive mentioned like once or twice#there was a lot of shit wrong with that relationship and us and me at the time#but the thing that happened after we broke up which was the worst was her saying i was passionless#because in her mind i wasn't 'trying hard enough'#didn't help that she was super talented in art (even if thinking about it now its way too disney for my taste tbh)#and seemingly had her life together bc she had a super cool supportive mom#(wish i could've gotten her in the divorce tm)#and tbh that haunted me for YEARS#i stopped drawing for years after being with her#i didn't really pick up drawing HARD again until 2020#and i didn't really work on many of my own wips#just kinda poked at the ashes of the wips i got in the divorce (which funnily enough i don't use anymore. used the ocs but not the plots)#i was just so fucked up about it#but seeing y'all comment that you like my writing and my art#having people say that my worldbuilding is fire and passionate#idk it heals the part of me that died that day#so thank you all from the bottom of my soul#whenever y'all are kind enough to compliment me the hole mends even more#so idk i was just thinkin about it like bro the difference between me then and now is night and day#in part to all my lovely friends and mutuals#so yeah idk thank u i'm gonna go back in me corner again
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I don't think I can keep being open minded to n@tl@n guys
#I'm trying so hard to like the fucking region but every time I played the game within that region I feel so mad#I'm trying out the new area n the new creature is just so lacklustre#Tbh I think the design r pretty/cute but playing as them??? Ugh UGH#How do make flying awful#That mechanic broke on me??! I was stuck having to float down to the water lvl cuz I wasn't at right lvl to hit the mountain top#N for some reason the movement for it was locked in one direction so I couldn't even try n turn to get to closer area orz#I know it was just a glitch BUT AFTER having to find that creature only for it not to work? Piss off omg#Also there so much mountain n okay fine I understand that the region design ig#But having wave point be at the highest place where u need to have one of the creatures to even get there if u don't have the correct chara#Character?? Insane fuck you#Ngl this makes me want to not pull any fucking characters out of principal/only pulled the archon cuz I'm guessing she gonna have all movem#In this game so what even the point of the other characters for movement#Feels like it punishing ppl for not pulling lacklustre characters or not being whales n not caring where Ur spending money#I don't care how 'good' the story is if the exploring part of your games is so garbage without the characters/until the archon is released#CUZ WHAT DO U MEAN YOUR EXPLORING GAME IS NOW BEHIND A FCKING PAYWALL#this is not a 'this character makes exploring easier in general' this is straight just needing a character or u can't explore this area eas#I'm not looking forward to any new areas in this region cuz what the point if I can't enjoy playing a game#This is worse than when in@zum@ had a lightening island#At least I could get that sht turn off when I played a story quest#Maybe I would like the region better if by doing the story quest the exploring in this region would be easier#Ugh#I remember seeing a tweet of somebody saying 'well Ur not playing the new story/area so of course u won't like it u haven't played it!'#Shaking them violently cuz I'm playing!! I'm reading!! This place sucks!! Gimmick is awful!!#Praying for the next region to not rely on this kinda shit#I know it probs gonna have the frostbite like dragonspine but imma be honest? Dragonspine is so much more enjoyable to explore than n@tl@n#W it gimmick
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not to be ungrateful but i don't get paid enough at my job lol
#the problem with jobs that people do bc they love the work is that it doesn't pay well and you will be overworked to death#genuinely couldn't quit bc i love the kids too much already but 15 an hour is....not ideal tbh....#how am i supposed to make future plans in these conditions#i cant ask for a raise ive only worked here 3 months but ugh#the only reason i got hired is i finally broke my rule abt the minimum hourly rate i was willing to accept#i applied to the two 14-16 an hour jobs and used the one i already accepted to get this one to gove me 15 instead of 14#but that's still not a lot tbh#need to buy an oven since we havent had a working one since january#and i keep gping ok next time i get paid i will buy an oven#and it hasnt happened yet#and i need.....17k to invest in starting my own business and i will not see a return on that for a very long time 😭#and i have no idea where that money will be coming from lol#fortunately its not that time sensitive except it kind of needs to happen in the next year or two probably but idk#if i dont do what i need to do idk what will happen but i think the issue will become more expensive but also maybe less expensive#but also uglier and make my neighbors mad#but i have no choice but to wait bc i have no money for that lol#anyway#17k is my immediate expense but i also need to come up with the money to eventually buy my parents house somehow#and i dont even make enough to pay the mortgage 😭#fortunately i dont need to do that for a long time but...eventually#anywayssss#how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions#i do love working with kids but jts hard work and all my coworkers are petty and hate eachother so its a lot#and i dont make enough money to live fr#im so lucky i live w my parents bc nobody at my job makes enough to live on their own lol#also the sheep that are supposed to be clearing brush got sick and went back to their farm and they're not coming back this year at all#so we need to brush hog it#or contract another farm#im not sure if its even safe w their poop all over the place snd im not getting any communication from the farmers#but it lowkey might be better to get our own sheep but thats so much work i dont want to think abt doing livestock
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Girl help my housemate is judging me really meanly for having sex with a guy that (accidentally!!) misgendered me in front of them (apologized immediately)
#housemate tag#fuck buddy#I'm more upset about the being judged than the being misgendered tbh#I was even telling a different housemate that it wouldn’t have bothered me at all if we were in an actual relationship#he said “after you my lady”#i said “I'm not a lady”#but listen if we were dating I'd fucking swoon over that shit sue me#not actually I'm broke
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oh yeah btw! i listened to the new tyler the creator's new album a few days back, every song is so good but i think my personal faves are darling, i, st. chroma, and like him :3
#might listen to it again bcus i think i forgot some of the songs </3#but these three stuck to me !!#especially like him#THOSE FUSHIGURO EDITS I SAW ON TWT BROKE ME#so i listened to it heh ..#kinda ruined me even more tbh#miro's diary
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decided to rewatch oli's christmas song stream from last year and remind me again why the fuck oli/sausage is a rarepair again. he sings no less than five romantic songs about sausage (admittedly two of those are just different versions of santa, baby). one of them is him and sausage singing baby it's cold outside together. oli literally left heaven to find this man. what. what am i seeing that everyone else isn't hello.
#space rambles#sorry every once and a while i have to get ill about them again#remind me of this post when it's actually closer to christmas#and maybe ill write/draw something inspired by them singing it's cold outside actually#more likely draw but idk we'll see what i'm feeling#i do genuinely love this stream even though by GOD sausage cannot hold a tune#oli's great as always though#also in the two different versions of santa baby oli says “ive been an awful good boy” and “ive been an awful good girl” so like. gender wi#slight revision he technically sings FOUR songs about sausage#because he sings last christmas at two points and the first time around he goes:#“this year to save me from tears ill give it to someone special (sausage)”#the second time around it's eddie because. of course it is.#and also tbh i think the second time around he is??? maybe singing last christmas about sausage?????#they broke up in the like 30 minutes in between the two versions#ANOTHER EDIT. IT WAS FIVE SONGS (can you tell im just listening to the music again)#the “underneath the misletoe” bit in “all i want for christmas is you” is also followed by him going “sausage”#he's normal
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Can I be honest here. Finally accepting that I am an introject both explained so much and has been very healing for me. Like after being in denial for 5+ years finally just going "ok fine yeah maybe I am JD from heathers the musical" was like taking a massive weight off my shoulders. Me when I finally accept myself!!!!!! 🐬🌈✨
#herbert speaks#it also just explained a lot#like “why do i have not real memories of dying in an explosion that are distressing to me” (pointing at myself) YOU ARE JD!!!!#“why do i have such an obsession with 711 and slushies?” YOU ARE JD!!!!!!#i still want to fakeclaim myself real bad but im working on it 💪💪#the source memories became so much less distressing when i finally figured out what my issue is. like “ohhh its just source stuff i see now”#finally accepting myself and learning to live with everything!! 🐬🌈✨🐬🌈✨#kinda funny bcs I Am the Core too. like hey guys im the original person born in this body. im also JD from heathers the musical.#which means i can make jokes abt how if i wasnt a system id be a JD kinnie singlet 💀 terrifying thought tbh i cant imagine not being a sys#like what would i even do as a singlet. i would just be One Guy. what would i even do. i straight up cant even imagine that#cause even before i knew i was a system weird shit kept happening. like blacking out n when i come back my friends call me hawkstar now.#or like blinking and 4 days had passed and i couldnt tell u a single thing that happened in that time#the amnesia was badddd shoutout to system acceptance and knowledge being more available online bcs imagine if i never knew why this happened#imagine if i never figured out what a system was or found ways to communicate with my system or broke down amnesia barriers. .(shudders)#thats like. the evil timeline. where i never figure out wtf is happening to me#UGH I HAVE TO GO TO WORK NOW AND SEE MY SHITTY COWORKER that fucking SUCKS
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losing my mind so bad rn i wanna do things i literally cannot say on other platforms bc i will get banned or something.
#ghost talk#broke my self harm streak#wanted to do worse tbh but didnt#but god the thoughts dont leave huh#and my mother oh gods#why cant she leave me alone?#everything is so much worse when she gets involved even sligjtly#slightly*#but goddamn i just got back from ✨vacation✨#i shouldnt be feeling like i want to slit my wrists and overdose yk#and yet here i am#and with nobody to talk to because whats therapy?#friends? yea i guess i have them. but they dont talk to me and. actually bringing this shit up is a whole other thing that i cant do#i dont trust my siblings because theyre snitches at best. so. its really just me and. whatever i can stand to say to my partner#before my stomach bubbles over and i feel to sick to continue the conversation#you know?#i could say so much more but i'll spare the tags the details#just. been a bad couple of days i guess#mental health? who's that?#sigh
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i bet you think about me is so regulily fr
#like.. specifically thinking about a famous singer!lily au where her and regulus used to date#but he broke up with her as she got more popular as his family found out about it and he was too scared about getting disowned and stuff#so he listened to his parents and broke up with her and mentally tried to make himself distanced so he would actually be able to do it#and then lily writes the song about him#i mean tbh it also works with just. usual them. like them dating in school but his parents make him bw a deatheater#so he breaks up with her before even telling her about it because he knows she'd break up with him as soon as he does#like. “you grew up in a silver spoon gated community.. i was raised on a farm. no it wasn't a mansion.”#“reality crept it. you said we're too different”#“i don't have to be a shrink to know you'll never be happy. and i bet you think about me.”#“oh block it all out. the voices so loud saying why did you let her go?”#“chasing make believe status. last time you felt free was when none of that shit mattered cause you were with me.”#“it turns out im harder to forget than i was to leave. yeah i bet you think about me.”#SO THEM FR FR#I PROMISE YOU ALL!!!#marauders era#marauders#regulily#lily evans#regulus black
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i cant believe im sick again this is ridiculous
#i was just starting to feel better after a week in bed#spent 2 days traveling#and bam#coming down with something again#what am i even wearing a mask for#god fuck me#honestly idk how many more setbacks i can handle#ever since i broke my shoulder#idk it feels like#ive just been treading water#trying to catch up#but im not getting anywhere#its just one curveball after another#like playing whack a mole#always putting out fires#<- and atruggling to find the right metaphor lmfaoo#and beyond that zero chance to focus on the important thing (writing this fucking thesis)#i dont even have anything to look forward to#thats the problem innit#right now my life sucks#and yet i am on the comfortable side of things#once i graduate there's only gonna be money problems and debt and a housing crisis and not being able to do what is right for me and pain a#nd suffering#the fucking bureaucracy#god i hate this country#its not something to look forward to#it feels like im waiting for my execution tbh#so yeah#no wonder im doing my utmost to sabotage myself#tbd
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