#that boy is fucked up in 8 different direction and I need someone to take care of that.

[dirtytransmasc]

Miles "Spider" Socorro Needs a Hug

Is already a tag you can filter by on ao3.

this boy has barely lived and breathed on the big screens a month, and this tag already exists for him, that has to say something.

[blouisparadise]

Today we have the third part of our angst rec list for you to check out! You can find part one here and part two here. The fics on this list are all amazing, so please be sure to read them, give them kudos, and leave a comment for the author. If you enjoy our rec lists, please like this post and reblog it to help spread the word. Happy reading!

1) Please, Don’t Say You Want Me | Explicit | 9,320 words

Prompt 496: ABO/royalty AU. Where Omega Prince Louis is forced to marry alpha King Harry by his father for the benefit of their kingdom. After the wedding, Harry lets Louis know that he didn’t want a mate and to not expect a relationship from him. Since they are already mated, Harry has to officially reject Louis’s omega to break ties. This practice is so taboo that he doesn’t know the omega has a maximum of a year left to live after rejection. As time goes on, the omega gets weaker and weaker.

2) All This Delusion In Our Heads | Explicit | 15,088 words

After Harry and Louis break up, they cope with it in very different ways. What will happen when Harry keeps calling his ex over when things go wrong in his life, but Louis just can't take it anymore?

3) Dandelion Heart | Explicit | 17,563 words

After his sister’s death, Louis is granted full custody of his 4-year-old nephew, TJ. It isn’t easy, but with the help of TJ’s other uncle, Harry, they learn to make it work.

4) Death Wish | Explicit | 22,067 words

Louis hates vampires, he lives his life trying to kill as many as he can, night after night, year after year. He hates them. Then why the fuck is he kissing one? Again. “I mean it, Harry.” Louis says, into his mouth this time. “You need to get the fuck away from me.”

5) The Games We Play | Explicit | 23,448 words

Louis is a political lobbyist who chose his career over his personal life a long time ago and has never regretted it. Then he met Harry.

6) Bloom | Explicit | 24,887 words

When they first meet at Harry’s flower truck, Harry falls hard but Louis’ unavailable. Only before long, Harry reignites a spark that Louis thought long forgotten.

7) Somebody's Got Your Trainers On (It's You) | Explicit | 28,000 words

Louis hasn't thought about Harry since half an hour after the shift started, when Krystle told him that she was binging Gogglebox last night and therefore didn't get enough sleep - a sure reminder of Harry’s temporary Gogglebox obsession. Five hours isn't much without thinking about someone, but that's as long as it gets. Louis came to terms with that two years ago. When Harry walked out the door with his stupid New Balance trainers and never looked back.

8) The Road Not Taken | Explicit | 30,393 words

The one where Harry returns back home for the holidays after a successful debut album, leaving Louis to unwrap gifts as well as old complicated feelings. Cue: hometown holiday hookups, overbearing siblings, and a disastrous New Year’s Eve party. A 'Tis’ the Damn Season' inspired AU.

9) Compass To The Soul | Teen & Up | 31,439 words

Harry Styles, alpha, is 1/4 of the perfect pack, and 1/5 of world famous boy band One Direction. He spends his time touring the world with his best friends and family. Louis Tomlinson, omega, is 1/5 of world famous boy band One Direction. He spends his time hoping his bandmates don’t notice him.

10) Like The Stars Above | Explicit | 33,759 words

Louis has a witchy little secret that is slowly ruining his relationship. When that secret comes out, it turns out that he has a lot more to worry about than just losing the love of his life. He might lose everything.

11) Close To Nowhere | Explicit | 34,589 words

Louis and Harry are psychics who kind of hate each other. They go to Tennessee to investigate a haunting.

12) Just A Pretty Boy | Explicit | 35,614 words

The alpha in front of him wasn’t only tall, but used every inch of his body to look even more threatening. He looked as shocked as Joseph felt, in his eyes he could clearly see horror and anger mixed into an odd and painful mix. It was as if he just watched a ghost or a monster from a nightmare come to life.  “Louis…” he said with a low voice. It wasn’t a question, he was calling Joseph by that name.  The crease between Joseph’s brows deepened. “Who?” Louis and Harry were married until, one day, Louis passed away in a tragic accident. Years later, he is found alive and with a thousand questions plaguing his mind. The most important ones; was his husband involved in his disappearance? And, how long did it take Harry and his best friend to fall in love after his supposed dead?

13) Best Colours For Your Portrait | Explicit | 37,717 words

Louis bites his lip in, his eyes leaving Harry's face, they are cast low as he takes a deep breath before sighing, "In solitude, I felt the liberty you spoke of." "But," The omega glances up, his eyebrows twitching as he brings his face closer to Harry's neck to overpower the alpha's scent with his scent, "I mostly felt your absence."

14) Give Me Love | Explicit | 41,041 words

Despite being an omega, Louis’ always had a blatant dislike of alphas.

15) Letters To June | Explicit | 41,150 words

It's 1915, Europe is in the middle of the Great War. Omega Louis decides to join the Letter Home Project to become someone’s penfriend. Through this he meets a lovely soldier who hasn't got anyone else to send a letter to. Along with his letter, comes a picture of the most handsome alpha Louis has ever seen.

16) Strangers In Love | Explicit | 42,207 words

Louis wakes up to find himself in a marriage with the last man he thought he'd ever end up with.

17) This Glass House | Mature | 43,072 words

While deployed, Alpha Harry gets injured by an IED explosion, leaving him to deal with severe injuries in its devastating aftermath. During his road to acceptance and recovery he learns with the help of Louis and their children just how important family can be for the mind, body, and soul.

18) Oubaitori | Explicit | 48,822 words

Note: This fic is locked and can only be read by AO3 users.

After a year away, Harry comes back to his hometown ready to shoulder the responsibilities that come with being a Styles. However, an unforeseen return will greatly setback his plans as he finds himself confronting ghosts of the past, his prejudice, and a torrent of feelings he thought were long-buried. In the midst of a battle between protection and progress, trust that was once broken will try and pierce through walls of convictions he built around himself, leaving him grasping for power he is unsure he even wants. Meanwhile, Louis merely tries to save his family and make the next day better than the last. As he faces his past wrongdoings and the scars they left, chances will be granted to him - either to repair what was once broken or finally find closure. Torn between the desire to defend himself and the fear of the truth being rejected, he will learn peace comes from honesty - and that sometimes, what appears to be the easiest solution simply was the most coveted one.

19) Untamed Hearts Align | Explicit | 55,795 words

For as long as Louis has known her, Lady Margaret Tomlinson has had two aspirations for the remaining years of her life. The first was to out-dress the Duchess of Kent at every soirée and gathering. The second was to marry off her omega nephew to the most honorable – and highly ranked – alpha suitor she could find. He does not expect for her to arrange a marriage between him and the crown prince, and he certainly does not expect to fall for him. Everything changes when Harry disappears.

20) If You’re Out There (I’ll Find You Somehow) | Explicit | 55,916 words

Harry looks so intensely into Louis’ eyes it’s as though he’s reaching in and touching his very soul. “I never thought… I never… I’ve been searching for so long, Louis, but I never gave up. I couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop trying,” Harry says, bottom lip trembling as he strokes the backs of Louis’ knuckles. “I just knew that if you were out there, I’d find you somehow.”

21) Of Lost Things | Explicit | 57,980 words

Louis comes with a familiarity Harry has never felt with anyone else before. After their fateful meeting, their chemistry became undeniable, and soon after, Harry had felt like he hit the jackpot when it came to finding the person he would spend the rest of his life with. But all relationships come with their own unique problems, and Harry soon realizes that their relationship is no different. When their problems go from unordinary to nearly bizarre in nature, he takes it upon himself to find an answer to their troubles. What he stumbles upon are terrifying coincidences between his and Louis’ story, and the ill-fated mythological couple, Orpheus and Eury. But it’s all they are; just coincidences, ones that feel as frighteningly familiar as Louis. Except… what if none of this is a coincidence? What if everything Harry has always seen as fiction is true, and myth—or rather, history, is about to repeat itself?

22) But We Have Promises To Keep | Mature | 62,608 words

Note: This fic is the fourth part in a series. We'd recommend reading the other fics first, though none of them have smut.

Maybe, Louis thought, from the beginning to the end, he had always known exactly what he wanted. He had always heard it, a quiet song in his head never giving up, because it had never been a thing apart from who he was. Someone who wouldn’t stop. Someone who could walk out into the dark, seeing nothing, having little, and still looking. The undeniable, terrifying, gorgeous truth was always going to be this: that he had a heart, and that that heart wanted to live.

23) Sink Into Your Sunlight | Explicit | 79,601 words

Louis hadn’t forgotten about Harry as much as he tried. It wasn’t due to the strange nature of their meeting, more so the magnetic pull he somehow had on Louis. He couldn’t fathom why this complete stranger stayed in his mind as much as he tried to stop it. Any time his phone sounded his heart skipped a beat at the thought of it possibly being Harry. In all honesty, it made him feel sort of pathetic. Gay guy falls for straight guy, what a cliche he had become.

24) The Rose Of Whitechapel | Mature | 100,180 words

Jack the Ripper AU. Detective Constable Harry Styles and his partner, DC Liam Payne, lead the case on the Whitechapel murders. Louis Tomlinson, the Rose of Whitechapel, is harbouring secrets of his own, along with a dark and sordid past. When their paths cross, truths are revealed, and perhaps hearts are mended... A darkness is brewing, and it's finally come to collect on the promise it was made.

25) Our Endless Numbered Days | Explicit | 120,815 words

“Harry?” whispered Louis, his mouth dry, his nose pressing against the other’s warm skin. “Mh?” Harry’s humming was gentle, his fingers lightly caressing the younger boy’s arm, his chest steadily rising and falling beneath Louis’ cheek. A couple of seconds passed, and Louis looked up at him in the darkness of the cave, barely able to make out the expression on his face. When he tried to inhale deeply, his breath hitched. He struggled to find the words to tell Harry what he was thinking about. Another couple of seconds passed, and Louis listened to the reassuring beating of the prince’s heart beneath his cheek. He couldn’t. “Nothing,” he whispered, his voice weak. I think you’re half of my soul.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

[panelshowsource]

hi, sarah! i see you've watched a lot of british panel shows/comedians and i need a specific recommendation: where to start with dara o briain? he's right now my favourite taskmaster contestant ever and after listening to his episodes on the tm podcast and off menu, and watching him on wilty, i'm completely in love with his humor and manner of speech. what are the "must see" things he's done in the past? he's such a prominent figure in british tv but idk how to choose what to watch next

i have watched a lot of panel shows...you got that right hehehe...

i'm happy for you that you found someone you really like and get to explore a lot of new content! i gotta say, that doesn't happen often for someone quite so famous and prolific like dara, so it's fun for me to think back to all the stuff he's been in :')

he's a comedian, but he's also known for being mr big smarty pants, so he's done a lot of comedy programmes as well as smarty pants programmes & documentaries. you may choose to start in one of these distinct directions if there's a side of dara you like best! let me start with a few of my own faves...

he's probably best known — definitely by my followers, but also in general — for being the long-time host of the news-focused panel show mock the week, which JUST ended after 17 years. of the panel shows about news, of which there are many, this one is the most accessible and the most silly. dara is a GREAT host and has hilarious dynamics with the regular panelists, especially his literal best friend ed byrne (who we heavily stan). in fact, on mtw, you'll also see lots of other taskmaster contestants you may recognise, including panel captain and cult fave hugh dennis, frankie boyle, russell howard, and ed gamble. i know 17 years is A LOT, so if you've never seen the show and aren't sure where to start, i'm gonna recommend you give series 15 a go — as a new-er panel show fan, i think a more recent season like this one will be most accessible. also, this compilation of comedians roasting dara on mtw for half an hour is fucking hilarious lmaooo

dara has been on tons of panel shows as a panelist opposed to hosting, and you'd be amiss not to catch up on him on qi! one of stephen's smart lil boys and a clever laugh, he was made for that show. you can find dara's episodes here and i have all of qi linked on the masterpost! if you've never seen qi here's a silly clip that is mostly sean being one of stephen's naughty lil boys but it's a great example of the learning a lot/learning absolutely nothing dichotomy that can happen with a great panel (including dara!!)!

apart from that, i'd highly recommend you watch his stand-up! i put two specials on drive for you, 2012's craic dealer and 2015's crowd tickler (sorry for the mid quality — they're just dvd rips). these are pretty perfect for blossoming dara fans because they're funny, witty, clever, goofy — all the things we love about dara at once!!

as for my final personal recommendation, you should definitely check out dara & ed's great big adventure, a bbc two miniseries where the besties travel along the pan-american highway! they have top-tier wholesome bantz, ed is very fucking goofy (you will find quickly that being a fan of dara is being a fan of ed hahaha), and they explore some very beautiful cultures. i will work on getting decent rips of the show for my drive, but in the meantime you can watch this on dailymotion!

it would be amiss if i ended the recs here, because dara has hosted a lot of different series — but these series are based around very specific interests of his. some of the big ones include the following: go 8 bit, one of his most recent shows about classic and indie video games, very nostalgic with fun guests; science club (if you need full eps of this lmk, i should be able to get them but it will just take a lil time) and school of hard sums, nerds talking about science and maths, def have qi vibes; and the underrated stargazing live, broadcast every winter and when dr brian cox & our fave amateur astronomer mr ó briain talk about stars and shit! these are less necessary watching and more worth watching if the topics tickle your fancies~

okay i hope that helps!! there is obviously so much more to his career — including his many books — but i think this is overwhelming enough and i hope you don't mind the long post! feel free to catch us up on what you're enjoying down the line, we love dara and hearing what others love about him too :')

[emilykaldwen]

I think you created an incredibly vanilla OC who is the embodiment of the maiden and saviour of Aegon. She is like virginal, Madonna like. She is the bunny girl. Then you just whack edgy concepts on her like the whole blowjob thing. Like fr blowing is something you need to gain by experience or being told logistics of. I hardly think someone like Abby would know what to do technically wise. You made it seem like she was an expert. Which is so unrealistic man. And it gets messy too but your interpretations is weirdly sanitary

Like we can have character development and nuance but you don't know the meaning of the word. We have a pure maiden never been carnally touched but somehow she can naturally give pornstar level bjs. Get real Nat

Hey anon! Thank you for showing that you're either one of my [few] followers or have my blog open in a tab or something because I was just thinking about you when I reblogged that Tom Hardy Picture 11 minutes before you sent me this. Hello! How are you?

I'm putting this behind a cut to both save the dash and spoilers for the fic in general I guess? Thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk about my character and the themes I'm exploring in my story!

Do not come in here and tell me I don't know the meaning of character development and nuance (and don't fucking call me Nat, which only my friends call me, you do not have the right to it), when it's abundantly clear you don't have an ioata of reading comprehension given that in the chapter you're throwing a fit about, you failed to read Aegon specifically thinking how Abby's not great but she's at least enthusiastic, and he is giving her some guidance, but do you really need a word-for-word break down of it? I mean I'll keep it in mind but Aegon's not thinking 'wow my fiancee is super bad at this', like my dude thinks about how Cassandra Baratheon is better at this.

But it also is abundantly clear that this is the only chapter you've read because we have because they're physically intimate in both Chapters 8 and 15, which build up Abby's confidence in being an active participant.

We see in their first encounter together that Aegon's absolutely taking the lead, but Abby does reach for him. She does want to touch him. He comes upon her touching herself and thinking about him. Because this isn't regency or victorian England. They do know about sex, there are dozens of horny Valyrian frescoes around the red keep, and while the Seven frowns down upon it, people are still getting down out of wedlock, they are exploring themselves, and I'm not sorry about touching upon that. When Aegon gets her off in Chapter Eight, Abby also touches him in return. She's curious! She wants to touch him! She's full of horny good hormones! And seeing him taste her off his fingers, she hesitantly gives him a taste as well. And frankly, by the time we've gotten to this most recent chapter, Aegon's been teaching her how to give a good handjob for like, a month.

Yes, you are right in that Abby is meant to represent those things. That's why the story is called The MAIDEN and the Drowning Boy. Because this is an ideal being forced upon her in so many different directions. So, AGAIN, it's abundantly clear to me that you have not read any of the other chapters because we have in IN CHAPTER ELEVEN AND THIRTEEN TALKS ABOUT THIS:

The entire point of this first arc and Aegon and Abby going through what they do (also referenced in their fight in Chapter Eleven.

Also, again, I'm coming back to keep your purity culture bullshit out of my inbox. Stop thinking that a virgin means uwu innocent doesn't know anything baby. This story is actively going against that assumption and ideal because it's a shitty one. Engaging in sexual activity should never, ever mean that someone is no long 'pure'. It's a disgusting view point that goes down an even more reprehensible rabbit hole (no pun intended but we're going with it anyway).

The virginal Madonna motif you talk about is an impossible ideal, and one that is actively addressed in the story... but you'd actually have to read the story instead of just reading my recent chapter and coming in my inbox trying to belittle my character.

And for the fucking record: Abrogail Strong does not have a magical vagina and she sure as hell isn't here to save Aegon. If he wants to be saved, he has to make that decision himself (and he is).

Also??? is this a new thing? Since when the fuck are blowjobs edgy? Blowjobs are so fucking basic. Like? We even get implied blowjobs in a fucking kids movie (You know that scene in The Road to El Dorado I'm talking about). NOT TO MENTION I'm not sorry, if you're looking for descriptions straight from The Hub, my work is not for you. Graphic play by plays are not what I write, I prefer to focus on the emotional and internal side of things because that is what interests me.

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Today in my gender studies class, we talked about P.E in primary school and basically how much trauma it induced. Especially for people assigned female at birth.

Other kids, especially boys, could be extremely aggressive or treat P.E as "life or death".

Where I live, we played a game called "brännboll" ("burnball"), which I guess is similar to baseball, but it's essentially one person that serves and hits the ball with a bat (there is no one throwing the ball to them or anyone behind them, it's ONE person serving and hitting), and then they get to run laps around the field while the other team tries to get the ball. When they get the ball, they run to a spot, shout "burned!" and the person who threw has to go back to the last "checkpoint" they ran past.

There is two different bats used for hitting the ball, and you can choose which one you want to use

As you see, it's a normal bat, and then another bat that might make it more easy to hit the ball with. This bat is often called "kärringracket". "Kärring" is a more mean-spirited word for an old lady.

Very often, when a girl in primary school was gonna serve, many boys immediately made comments "use kärringracket! So you'll hit the ball!" Because they could not believe they could use the normal bat - meaning that, if a girl did use a normal bat, she'd have much more expectations and pressure that she needs to hit. And if she doesn't, some (especially male) classmates takes offense because they dare to be bad at the sport.

I have a large trauma from playing brännboll in elementary school, but not from serving and hitting the ball. But when I was in the team that was gonna catch the ball. I was 8 years old, at the end of 2nd grade. The ball bounced on the field, and started rolling fast on the ground. I was about to grab it, when it rolled between my legs. Apparently, me not being able to catch it was SO OFFENSIVE to one kid, that he started screaming: ”WHAT THE FUCK, SARA!!! I’M GONNA MURDER YOU!!!!”. He then proceeded to sprint in my direction. The gym teacher saw it and stopped him from reaching me by standing in the way, so he then proceeded to run in another direction while the gym teacher chased him.

I have other traumatic memories too. Like when we were jumping over obstacles, and I couldn’t no matter how much I tried. I had to walk over them. And my classmates saw this as a great offense to them. That I couldn’t jump over obstacles was bothering for them?

Or all the ball sports… aggresive ball throws. If you managed to hit someone with a ball, ”it didn’t count, actually!!”

Girls could be mean too. If you know european P.E halls, they often have colored lines on the floor. We had a game of tag one P.E lesson where you were supposed to only run on the colored lines. If you got tagged or if you ran outside the lines, you had to step aside and do five jumps (the kind of jump where you squat, put your hands on the floor and jump up). I had just done my five jumps, when a girl stopped me and was like ”Sara, you did the jumps all wrong! Now you need to get back and re-do them!”. I’ve been thinking for years why it was so important to her that I didn’t do the jumps ”correctly”. What if she did them incorrectly? She was also not a P.E teacher, she was a child like me?

I actually still remember some trauma in high school. By that point, no one got that offended anymore, but as a girl I sometimes got treated like I couldn’t do things as well as some others. One lesson, we played badminton. Now, I’m fine in badminton. But when the whole class is watching me serve, I feel the pressure, and I miss hitting the ball. And again. And again. And I get stressed, because I can do this!! And then comes a boy up from my class, and goes ”this is how you serve” and proceeds to explain to me how to serve, as if I didn’t know… and I am aware he’s being nice, but it felt humiliating when I COULD serve, I just got stressed and nervous. The nail in the coffin was some time later, when we discussed badminton, I mentioned ”Yeah I like it fine, i’m not the best but it’s fun” and this boy answered ”Sara… you can’t play badminton. I’ve had to help you several times 😉”

(The same guy also mansplained how to hold a minigolf club because I didn’t hold it the same way he did. Then I just told him ”I can’t hold the way you can, and I’m gonna hold the way I’m comfortable with”, to which he got nervous and was like ”but of course!! I just mean… I have learned to hold it like this!”. I won over him in minigolf anyway)

The more I think about P.E the more bad memories come. Like us having to run laps and I came last out of everyone because I could not run as fast as hard as I tried (I also had undiagnosed asthma). We all needed to lift ourselves up with some gymnastic rings. I never could. We were supposed to cartwheel. I have never learned to cartwheel. And when they brought in the springboard and everyone needed to jump over this giant stool-table-thing (i don’t know the english word). Ugh.

This little post was from an AFAB perspective, but I am aware P.E definitely was not always fun for AMAB people either. Especially if you weren’t one of those boys who took P.E super seriously.

[alpinefrsh]

Tommy in LMK crossover ideas

Ahem... Below the cut, you'll find yourself faced with eight different concepts for Tommyinnit in the universe of Lego Monkie Kid. Most of which I'd like to write something for in the future, but honestly, who knows if I'll actually get around to it. If any of these happen to be up your alley, feel free to take as much or as little inspiration from them as you'd like.

1 - Amnesiac c!Tommy: c!Tommy wakes up in a city (Megapolis) with no memories aside from the innate knowledge that his name is Tommy. Lives in a cardboard box he named L’Boxberg for no apparent reason until he befriends Bai He, who, upon figuring out that he’s homeless, drags him to Macaque’s place and doesn’t accept criticism. Tommy occasionally gets fucked up by things triggering his memories from dsmp. Sometimes they’re positive memories, but mostly they’re just traumatic and upsetting.

2 - Fae!Macaque and village child TommyInnit: Tommy, MK, Mei, and possibly Bai He are all children in a rural village on the outskirts of a forest. Whenever there’s no one else around to snitch, MK tells Tommy and Mei (and Bai He, depending on if she’s there or not) about the Fae who’s been teaching him magic (Monkey King). This is great, except it fills Tommy’s head with all the wrong kinds of ideas and he decides to venture out into the forest to meet the Monkey King for himself. Spoiler alert, the fae he encounters is not Monkey King (Tommy’s persistence earns him a fae older brother/father figure out of Macaque anyway).

3 - Ghost!Macaque and Tommy: Tommy moves out into a shitty cheap flat all on his own, only to discover it’s already occupied by a pessimistic ghost named Macaque. Also, he doesn’t believe in ghosts.

4 - Vigilante Tommy, Villain Macaque: SBI is family, all of them, excluding Tommy (who’s too young) are heroes. When a villain called Macaque hurts Wilbur badly enough to put him in a coma, Tommy becomes a vigilante for the sole purpose of getting revenge by putting Macaque behind bars.

5 - Raccoonification Station: In a classic case of ‘wrong place, wrong time’ Tommy gets hit by a mystic artifact Jin and Yin were messing with that turns him into a Raccoon. Now stuck as a raccoon with no idea of how to change back and no way of asking for help, Tommy befriends the first person who feeds him- presumably Bai He, but could hypothetically work as someone else- who eventually realizes that- one, there shouldn’t be any raccoons in China, and two, this raccoon does not act like a raccoon. And then brings him to Macaque (or Wukong, depending on who it is) to see if there’s any mystic shenanigans going on.

6 - Tommy and MK roommates AU: Everything is the same, except Tommy is MK’s roommate. Ongoing joke of one of them hitting the other with “We need to have a serious discussion” and then that ‘discussion’ being things like “MK, you have to stop facing your Monkey King toy in my direction. He stares at me all day long and I am beginning to fear for my life.” (Until of course Tommy gets sick of watching MK’s mental health collapse and has a genuinely serious discussion with his roomie) 7 - Sorry!Tommy in LMK: After being buried alive by the people he thought were his friends, Tommy digs his way back to the surface with a new fear of tight spaces. Except now Tommy finds himself on a mountainous island in the middle of an ocean (Flower Fruit Mountain). He befriends a local troop of monkeys and Wukong is entirely unaware of the random human living on his mountain until he overhears some monkeys chatting about the weird boy who came from the earth.

8 - Noodle Thief AU: Tommy’s part human, part raccoon demon, and a literal child, who lives in the bushes of a local park. One day he smells something particularly tasty and follows the scent to an unguarded vehicle with several containers of noodles. This starts a cycle that will take several years off of Pigsy’s lifespan in which Tommy makes a habit of stealing noodles whenever MK’s not looking. Post season 4 special.

These are all fairly slimmed down to the bare bones premises, so if you'd like more elaboration or plot details for any of these ideas, let me know. (I also have a written scene for both the Ghostcaque AU and the Vigilante & Villain AU if anyone wants to see either of those)

[damnhitsuzen]

New chapter!

Different Directions - Chapter 8: Excuse

DUM DUM DUUUUM The penny has dropped, next chapter will have something totally different. And may have some answer? maybe? >:)

I considered expanding here on the theory I mentioned in the description, but decided to put it off till the next chapter. This one took longer and happened to be bigger than I expected, so it had me completely drained. In midst of it, Himawari appeared and saved me from terrible lack of progression for Watanuki's emotional labours. That's how I could, with the help of epigraph, wrap up the theme of this chapter, which is "a wedding" somehow? I know, I was shocked myself. Doumeki is so hard to write, dude never speaks any emotion. My theory that he was brought up in this very shut, emotionally restricted manner. We see a tiny bit of his mother - she is nice, but kinda... politely distant? And growing in such a traditional home I think that he just never saw enough examples of how to deal with emotions. How to express them. Perhaps that is why he immediately fascinated with Watanuki - hot mess, shouting his feelings on the top of his lungs not giving flying fucks about his surroundings. And I do think his ideas of noble servitude to the person he loves will get in the way of actual relationship. After all, in the original story we are so blindsided by Watanuki's self-sacrifices, we may miss that only Watanuki has learned his lessons and changed. BTW, the only viable thing in the whole eggs mystery I see is the metaphor they present. Watanuki finds a way around inevitable doom (helping with Himawari curse or taking half of the Tsubasa-kun's price so nobody has to die); and nothing will come out of Doumeki's egg, if he won't make a choice himself. He doesn't.

And yes, writing about sad, angry boys who love other boys, I did include a Placebo song. Duh.

For this chapter you will need Omake 4. Excited for the Birthday Party. For some fucked up reason, no one mentions there it's Sakura's birthday too. Watanuki is pouty little shit. Syaoron is dating someone (???) and Kurogane shows that fact more attention than Fai (??). Wild, right? Like all this over the top cheerful story crumbles on itself, right?

Finally, love to all my readers! your feedback makes me feel alive, I thrive from every kudo and every comment leaves me in tears. So please, leave them both here.

[andyisbleeding]

Zombie Undertaker x Reader

Chapter 1. The Power

The back of the house in most arenas is a labyrinth of gray halls with gray floors and no windows. You'll find yourself walking in circles and still not getting anywhere new. Some passing doors had small name plates, mostly offices and janitorial closets. No help to you, of course. The show is somewhere different every night so there's no use trying to remember the floor plan of the arena. By the time the tour comes back around, you'll have been to 200 other stadiums in 200 other cities, an exhausting but exciting whirlwind of work.

You've been on tour for 6 months now. Finally having a handle on the day to day duties, you've almost been able to overcome the lack of sleep schedule with the help of daily energy drinks and sitting up naps in quiet corners. Friends were easily made, both crew and wrestlers know these are the only people you'll get to see for months at a time. This is your new family, you feel welcome. As long as you pull your weight and aren't a raging asshole, everyone gets along surprising well.

Of course people have their cliques and squabbles. Some fights do break out but most are warranted and broken up quickly by the rest of the boys. People make up pretty quickly, knowing that you can't get away from each other is the best way to snuff out that flame.

You continue to wander down the cement hallway, hoping that a sign or person comes along soon. It feels like you've walked the whole arena by now, 'how the fuck do you get back to the locker rooms?'

Stepping out to smoke a joint with the lighting crew seemed like a good idea at the time. The door locking loudly behind you was when you all realized you'd made a mistake.

"Who doesn't put a wedge in the door Dave!" The group tears into the rail thin man. "What is your first day?" "Narc!" "Fuck you Dave." You all erupt in laughter, slapping the man on the back.

You hear soft footsteps coming quickly towards you. The hallway finally coming to an end with only a right hand turn for a direction.

You turn the corner and come face to face, or perhaps belly to belly with Paul Bearer himself.

You stopped quickly to not run smack into the stout man and tried to side step out of his way. Two beady eyes scanned you up and down and made a snap decision. He arched his dark eyebrows at you and twisted his face into an all knowing smirk. "Lost your way little sparrow?"

You swallow hard and force a polite smile onto your face. No need to make an enemy of Paul Bearer, keeper and manager of The Undertaker. "Yes sir actually. Would you mind pointing me in the right direction?" You hold your breath.

Paul cocks his head ever so slightly. Taking in your request and rolling it around in his round head. He smooths out his mustache while he decides if he's going to answer. He looks you up and down again. You don't shy away from his gaze, making sure your eyes meet his when he studies your face. His face twists up again into an approving grin, he gestures behind him.

"Back the way I came," Paul said softly. "Two rights and you'll be back where you belong, little bird." He turned on his heel and went on his way. For a chubby guy, he was very light on his feet, you remarked to yourself. It must come with being a funeral director.

"Thank you!" You call after him. He doesn't seem to hear you or chooses not to respond, either way the encounter went well and you're no longer lost.

Paul's word was good, and in a matter of minutes you walk into the staging area. Stage hands and wrestlers lingering around monitors and craft service tables. A large digital clock blinked the time over head. 8:30 PM. The show had essentially just started. You'd be willing to bet that someone was probably still monologuing in the ring and the first fight hadn't even started yet.

You don't have much of a job during the show. You help with set up and tear down and occasionally help out the art department when they have an extra large job. Tonight was going to be a pretty quiet night. Maybe you'll find yourself a dark locker room and get a much deserved nap.

You decide to check the title card just to recheck the roster. You enjoy watching the fights but the chance to catch up on sleep is far and few between. Nothing pops out at you from the schedule so you wander back towards the locker rooms. People were scattered through the halls, leaning, laughing, talking business. A little bit of everything gets talked about when you spend 24/7 with the same group of people. No topic is off limits and no shame is known.

You walk past the bigger locker rooms. That's where people really congregate, mostly the wrestlers and managers but definitely no peace or quiet. A few of the guys have their own dressing rooms, those are labeled and almost always occupied and locked. You step up to the first door with no name tag. You knock softly as you twist the handle and crack the door. "Hello?" No response. You push open the door wide and glance around the room. Empty minus a loveseat and a small coffee table. No bags, no people, perfect.

You're tempted to lock the door but know that could end poorly. If someone comes looking, you need to actually be findable. You curl up on the love seat, facing the open room and cover up yourself with the flannel you had around your waist. You're a pretty light sleeper so when the taping ends and people get rowdy, you'll be up and ready for tear down. The love seat was lumpy and smelled like stale cigarettes but your eyes were heavy as soon as you were horizontal. You drifted away to the far away sounds of the WWF.

********

You shiver awake.

The whole room was freezing and foggy. You're surprised you can't see your breath as you sigh and bring your flannel tighter around you. 'Why is it so cold in here?' You think to yourself. You slowly bring your wrist to your face. The room is too dark and your eyes are still adjusting to being open again. Trying to read your watch was impossible. Your legs bump up against the coffee table as you put yourself upright. That's odd. The table wasn't that close when you laid down.

You feel his gaze before your eyes fully adjust to the dark room. Truly only lit by the hallway light coming through the thin door window, the corners of the room are pitch black. You look into the darkness in the far corner and it stares back at you. Silent and cold. Two piercing green eyes stare at you through a curtain of wet curly hair.

What little warmth you had left exited your body. A gasp escaped your lips as you realized who was standing in the shadows. There wasn't a name on the door. You're sure of it. No bags. Everyone had language, even him. There were no bags when you started your nap. No inkling of habitation. The room was too small to have overlooked anything.

The Undertaker took a stiff slow step towards you. His large frame, now outlined by the small strip of light coming through the door.

You stand up suddenly. Your legs are cold and numb but you've realized your mistake and now need a swift exit. "I'm so sorry Undertaker. I didn't know this was your room. There wasn't a name on the door." Your voice sounded small and far away. You clear your throat. "Sorry again. Let me get out of your way."

The Undertaker took another step forward. He hasn't blinked. You realize he's a full foot taller than you, maybe even more. You notice how sore your neck is from your little nap as you look up at him. He's still in his wrestling gear. Was he waiting for you to leave to change? Why hadn't he woken you up and kicked you out? Paul Bearer. Paul Bearer was the doer. He controlled The Undertaker, or at least claimed to. But Paul was absent. Maybe he sent Undertaker to the locker room on his own.

You've been frozen to the spot ever since you stood up. All the thoughts running through your head distracted you and he had stepped towards you again. Now you're face to chest with the Undertaker. His neck craned downward towards you, the never ending stare still taking you in. He smelled like wet earth after a fall rain. You couldn't hear him breathe. You couldn't feel any body heat coming off of him. You wondered if his skin would be cold to the touch.

Your hand twitches. Why do you want to touch him so badly? You picture touching his bare chest and then sliding down his stomach. Your face is red and warm now with embarrassment, at least mostly. You remind yourself how you remarked on how handsome he was when you saw your first fight as crew. His red beard covered a square jawline, constantly clenched and almost never moving. His sad green eyes had lost their light sometime long ago. Maybe back when he was alive.

He must have seen your hand twitch, or maybe he saw your face suddenly turn red in the freezing room. A purple gloved hand slowly made its way towards your bare forearm. You don't shy away as the cool leather touches your skin. His fingers wrap around your wrist, tightening slowly like a constricting snake. You tilt your head back to look into the Deadman's eyes. His expression hasn't changed but his gaze moved away from your face and onto your wrist and his own hand. He was holding you tightly but it didn't hurt. You're not sure if you could pull away even if you wanted to. He was the strongest man in the WWF and you'd seen him take apart people 3 times your size.

His eyes snap back to yours.

His stare is too intense, so you drop your gaze to his pale lips. They look soft and you wonder how they'd feel against yours. How they'd feel against your neck and then your chest and you suddenly realize your panties are wet. Your face burns even warmer in the cold room, a beacon in the darkness. You pray he can't read minds, he is supernatural after all. Being dead seems to come with a few good perks so why not telepathy? You find yourself wanting to lean against his huge frame. You want your lips against his and his hands on more of you than just your wrist. You look back into his eyes, trying to tell him everything you were thinking in just a look. You could kiss him if you go on your tiptoes, you think. You look at his lips again. Neither of you have moved since he grabbed your wrist.

Unsure where you found the courage or maybe the audacity but you couldn't stop yourself. You make yourself as tall as possible and put your lips against his. His lips are cool but not cold and surprisingly soft. His ginger beard scratched against your chin. He hasn't moved. You realized you closed your eyes as your lips met. Do you dare open your eyes? Could you take the emerald stare and rage probably growing on the Undertaker's face? No. You really couldn't. You feel stupid. Having a crush. Kissing a man you've never had a conversation with let alone a dead one. You start to pull away and the grip on your wrist tightens.

Your eyes snap open in shock. You're met with his dark eyes closed and his face moving closer to yours. His lips are back against yours, the deadmans kiss was unsure. He seems to be taking your lead, he's out of practice perhaps. You press your body against his and lean into his kiss. He fells so good against you. You shift your mouth on his and your noses bump against each other. You're so wet you're worried about it showing through onto your jeans. You want him to touch you all over. You want him to kiss you all over, to tear your clothes off, to pin you against the wall and fuck you until you scream.

The Undertaker pulls away suddenly, returning to his full height and taking a large step away from you. Your wrist is hot where his tight grip was. Your body is vibrating. You snap back to reality as you realize he's no longer against you. You wonder why the abrupt halt and immediately find out why. The door opens swiftly, almost like it was kicked open. The light switch clicks on and you go momentarily blind.

"Taker, why are you in here? Your room is down the… hall…" Paul Bearer's voice fills the little room. High pitched and doating, his sentence slowly came to a stop. Your eyes were still adjusting but you could feel his puzzled stare on your red checked face. "What are you doing in here little bird?"

You decided the truth was the best answer, up to the kissing part anyway. "I came in here to take a nap during taping. There wasn't a name on the door. I woke up a few minutes ago and he was just… here." You gesture to the big man, still as a statue. "I was just leaving, I need to go start tear down."

Paul's face twisted around as he spoke. His chubby fingers tapped on the gold urn tucked in the crook of his arm. Paul looked from you to the Undertaker and then back to you. He glanced at his watch dramatically and let out a sigh. "You still have a half hour until you tear down. You stay here little sparrow. Taker and I will find our way to OUR locker room." The stout man gestured at the Undertaker to follow him and then swiftly turned on his heel and retreated from the room.

The Undertaker's eyes cut into you once more. You look up to meet his gaze, holding it for a moment. You swear you can see a twinge of red on his lips, warmth transferred from yours. His right arm crossed over and straightened the glove on his left hand. The hand that had held you tightly, the glove being the only thing between your skin and his. His stare dropped to your lips until he turned to follow Paul. To follow the gold urn. To follow the power.

[firsttarotreader]

For the cards, how does Pedro flirt with men and with women? Is there a difference in his flirting strategies?

Hello! I know I have done one about flirting, but didn’t specify genders, so it will be interesting to write this one. Again, I know these aren’t the only two genders, I am just sticking to the anon’s ask. Let’s start with the men, shall we?? 🤭 The first pull for his potential flirting style with men was the Queen of Teacups, Knight of Teacups and 7 of Flowers.

So, he might start being like the Queen of Teacups, very lovely, caring, worried about being the nicest he can, the same with the Knight of Teacups, very charming, a gentleman, he will probably want to talk about acting, about movies, theatre, his creative side. However, 7 of Flowers is curious in a sense that he will somehow end up feeling the guy like some sort of rival, part of him could try to be a little bit of a show off because he could feel secretly threatened, afraid that the guy would be “better” than him in any way.

The second pull was the Knight of Spears, The Hermit and 2 of Swords. Knight of Spears shows us, again, he will see the guy somewhat like a rival, someone he needs to best, to conquer, and he will “fight” to get him. The Hermit, on the other hand, means he could retreat to himself too, play hot and cold, come in strong and then back down, and 2 of Spears just confirms the confusion. He might give mixed signals, should I stay or should I go style, being insecure and uncertain, as usual.

Now for the women, the first pull was the 6 or Flowers, 8 of Flowers and Page of Flowers. You know, like with the men, he starts well, 6 of Flowers telling us he will come in hot and strong, even feeling kind of confident, very passionate in his approach. 8 of Flowers means he’s not gonna waste any time. He might be more direct and fast in his flirting, again very passionate. Page of Flowers is more passion, but also when he wants to flirt with a woman, he might feel like an overwhelmed boy. The one that would go “😍😍😍” like he does in some chick’s posts (not that he is necessarily flirting when he posts that lmao). A boy who wants to explore all the wonders of that woman’s body and heart. 🤣🤣

The second pull was the Page of Spears, Suspension and Strength. Page of Spears means that insecurity might also be creeping in, he really wants to impress her, he really wants to do it all right, but he might stumble a bit due to that uncertainty and possibly make mistakes, but dedicated, he will try to right his wrongs and please her. Suspension is more hesitation and insecurity in a sense that he could be scared to fuck it up and back down (like with the men) after coming in strong. Strength points to him trying hard to keep his shit together while flirting, he might feel the need to breathe and think of the situation as… conquering, dominating someone, “convincing” her in a way.

You know what we can gather from these two different approaches to these two genders? Aries being impulsive and Capricorn holding him back. The man always seems so insecure and feeling like he can’t pull them off. The men are his rivals, the women are too good for him and he is too much in awe of them to believe he can get them. I even asked if he feels insecure when he flirts with both and pulled one card for each. The women got me a 10 of Teacups reversed. Lol

He really feels like he can’t get that “happy ending”, like it’s not gonna work and the woman will say “no”. The men got me the 3 of Teacups. Let’s say he could believe he has more chances with the men because he might let out his funny side more easily (not that he doesn’t with women) but he could also feel like the men wouldn’t take him seriously and would want him just as a friend or someone to have fun with.

So yeah, the man is very possibly insecure in his flirting.

[fillyoursoulxx]

louis beaumont || bio pt. 1

❂ Louis Isaiah Beaumont was born Dec 2nd, 21 years ago in Washington DC. It was early morning, 3:33am to be exact and he’s always held that as sort of a ‘lucky’ time/number for him.

❂ He was the third born to Damian and Miriam Beaumont and the only boy. They’d been trying and failing for a few years to have a child and longer for a boy. To his mother, he was her precious rainbow baby and to his father, he was his heir.

❂ Standards for Louis were…different. With 8 and 13 years between him and each of his siblings, he was close to them, but he wasn’t often treated as the kid he was. His father had him very regimented, starting early with piano, athletics and language lessons. His mother didn’t object, but at the same time, she tended to give in to him on a regular basis. So it was a lot of whiplash for him on what was ‘really’ expected.

❂ His solace was found in his Uncle Elijah. When their parents were too busy, which was often, Eli took charge of the kids and let them– be kids. Sure he had them doing some of the stuff his parents expected, but he wasn’t nearly as rigid and he helped put things into perspective as Louis grew up on ‘why’ his parents wanted him to be as well rounded as possible. In the end, he realized so much was out of love even if fear and ego were there at times too.

❂ But as a kid, uncle Eli was king for Louis. Louis was always going a mile a minute. Always jabbering on, always into something. If something was broken, you could expect it to be him. Spills. Destruction. Curiosity. You couldn’t leave him alone without him finding something to get into. Which conflicted with the type of ‘kid’ his father was trying to mold. His sisters tried to shield him a bit, but even as a toddler, he experienced a lot of ‘discipline’ due to his energy and lack of impulse control.

❂ At that age, he didn’t really notice. He kept going, never letting spankings, time outs or loss of privileges effect him, nearly oblivious to what was happening in those moments till he got older. He just– went back at it. It wasn’t until he hit school age that it really began to click, oh ok. I shouldn’t do these things. And yet, a lot he couldn’t help. At home or at school, he was a fucking tornado of energy.

❂ He had…alot. In this search to just keep him busy and out of trouble, Louis fucking struggled. He loved his family. His memories with Max and Dallas and Eli are some of his favorites. But it felt like a struggle with his parents. Nothing was ever good enough even when it was ‘good’. He felt the perpetual fuck up. Constantly trying and failing to ever truly get their approval on anything. It was to push him, to make him great. He knew that because he did have softer moments with them. His mother was there when he truly needed it, providing the kind of softness she knew how. And his father, while often absent, followed his games, kept his stories, and did show up when he could even if it often ended in a fight. But it was…stressful.

❂ But where he lacked impulse control, Louis made up in kindness. He always the first to volunteer to help, whether it involved the teacher or another student. He’d give away his lunch money to someone he thought needed it or sit with the kids that seemed alone, talking their heads off about the latest thing he saw on late night tv.

❂ He was the kind of kid you dreaded and loved all at once and if you ask him, he’ll tell you his childhood was a wonderful thing even with all of the bad feelings, the good are what he focuses on.

❂ While mainly stationed in DC, they moved around a bit when he was elementary age. He liked being the new kid, always getting a chance to make new friends and have new ‘expectations’ from those around him. Though it always got to the same point. School was a process for Louis, who multiple teachers recommended that he take some form of medication for his outbursts and inability to follow directions without being distracted or derailing the entire class. Packing his schedule seemed to help some. Those sports, languages, music. Anything and everything was tried to keep him from idling.

❂ It was a lot. The pressure. He didn’t have a proper outlet and he had his first real panic attack at 9. His father didn’t want him to be stigmatized. Medication wasn’t an option. So he did what he could. Though movies proved to help in his lower moments. Movies, tv, anime. All escapes that for two hours he didn’t have to think about anything else. He began writing his own stuff and that helped too.

ADOLESCENCE;

❂ As he hit his preteen years, Louis began to play sports more seriously. He was coordinated, good at most physical things only after a few tries even if he couldn’t always focus. Soccer was his first poison of choice and he was good.They settled back in DC a bit around the time he turned 15 and he joined a team but some of the other kids found him to be odd. There were always jokes made about how he spent more time talking about japanese cartoons, comics and superheroes than he did the sport or the usual topics. Small, he was picked at, but Louis? He never really noticed. He was the butt end of jokes, but always the first to laugh. He was confident, even then, that the things his ‘friends’ did were often in good fun and never to take advantage of him or be malicious. Even when his trips to the principal's office became more frequent and his detentions began to pile up, he insisted things were fine. He was loyal and they just had different ways of showing their friendship to him.

❂ It was during that time things really began to sour from him. His uncle Eli had been struggling without the families knowledge. He began embezzling to stay afloat and other unsavory things that got him in a shit ton of trouble. He went to jail and Louis started to spiral a bit. He kept it cool. For the most part. He had that standard to live up to, but at the same time? He was being to buck it. Also anxiety inducing. The stress helped his mother realize he needed help. Therapy. Meds. He started both without his father’s knowledge.

❂ He was sixteen when a new kid moved to town and his friends turned their attention to him. Louis thought they were looking to welcome him into the fold, he was a bit quiet, always reading, kinda awkward, but the more time they spent with him, the more Louis started to notice the shit way they were treating him. The jokes they had used on Louis, they were funny to him, but this kid? Not so much. It didn’t take long before he began to see their relationship with this kid and their relationship with him? They weren’t harmless and in one very explosive day, Louis not only stood up for the kid, but broke his best friend’s jaw.

❂ He was ousted from the soccer team. Fine. He needed new friends. Fine. He had one and that was fine with him. He took it all in stride. Stayed confident and though he had a nasty mark on his record, his parents were actually kinda proud he finally stood up for himself and someone else. In the end, his dad was able to make it go away, but still. It felt kinda good. But at the same time, increased the pressure from his father to pick the right friends and be that person he wanted him to be.

[bubbleddisasters]

Just thought of another set.

——-

Yuu- Was the unofficial dorm therapist in my dorm in boarding school, and somehow ended up being the only girl in my grade at one point.

There was also a cat that followed me around everywhere and once sat outside the science classroom meowing at me.

Bonus 1: My friend once invited me all the way to her apartment in fucking Florida with her for a long weekend just because she felt like it.

Bonus 2: I twice befriended someone on vacation as a kid that didn’t speak any language I knew and I didn’t speak theirs. The first was a French boy who was also on vacation at the time (I was 5-6 I think?) , and the Second was an Costa Rican Girl who’s parents ran the restaurant of the place we were staying (I was 8 I think?)

I played Fire Boy and Water Girl with her, a game based on teamwork and communication, while not being able to communicate.

(General) Lilia: We had a chicken coup of chickens we hatched for a science class and made the coup for home ec, with there were 5 black feathered chickens and 4 with assorted shades of golden brown.

I was coming in to feed them for a friend and I found one of the black feathered ones (Karen, who was really annoying tbh, once attacked my ankle when I tried to fix the fence.) was literally beheaded on the ground outside of the coup. All the chickens still in the coup were fine.

But nope, not Karen, she was beheaded.

I was really tired so I just kinda looked down, decided it was too early to deal with a murder, walked around the body, filled the feeder, walked back to the stable, left a sticky note that just said : “Karen fucking died.” And went back to my dorm.

Bonus. 1: In trying to find a water source at like midnight so we could get water to filter, I sat on a dirt road and lead the other group to it by listening for its location and giving them the directions. It worked to my surprise and later on misery because they kept making me do that at other campsites as a last resort.

Also once someone accidentally held a knife to my throat by accident and I just stared blankly back at them. I literally can’t remember why the hell I did that but apparently it scared the shit out of the others.

Bonus 2: When me and the camping group got groundstruck by lightning in the middle of no where in the woods, me and the only other person still capable of movement had to find our way back on a big time limit bcs the youngest member in our group had gotten flung into the camp fire. The Guides ended up in some trees and another group member ended up in the wood pile.

We also once had to filter water that was so muddy it was near pitch ass black. I did not trust it but since that happened on my last day I just rationed the rest of my water.

Bonus 3: My older sister discovered I am apparently very strong (and can see that sadly I’m also short and smol) and proceeded to always make me carry her large and/or heavy items, especially through doors because i’m short and tiny enough that if its big, I don’t get stuck trying to get it through or need someone to hold it with me so its lower down.

She also makes me carry everything if I’m shopping with her, and I mean everything. I’ll end up holding 2 Watermelons, a bag of clothes and/or makeup, spices, a whole chicken, etc.

Once I genuinely forgot to take some of the purchases out of my bag, which at the time was the same I used for school, and ended up pulling out 4 full blocks of different kinds of cheese mild Honors English, said “Shit.” and just casually put them back.

Apparently one of my childhood friends actually witnessed this and until I introduced myself he just knew me as “Cheese Block Girl.”

Fun Fact: I fucking hate raw cheese, any kind. Just no wtf why are you eating wax textured Milk Mold.

Bonus 4: Scared the living shit out of this drunk bachelor party that happened to be doing an escape room with me and my mom-

(If you had two or less people, you were placed with a random group)

-By doing the entire thing by myself because I got tired of waiting, then at the end you were supposed to get this sword and stab it into a book, and for some reason they put a whole ass real metal sword in there, so these poor drunk men are standing around waiting for me to come out because my mom told them I finished it

Then boom, this tiny 11 year old comes out with a fucking metal sword and screams “ON GUARD!”

Bro they literally parted the way for me I felt so damn cool.

Bonus 5 : I went to a renaissance fair with a good friend and beat a ton of people in a (fake weapons) sword fight. I was also in heels and bitch even I don’t know how I didn’t trip.

Also I met a guy who had 12 replica Flintlocks and 2 Blunderbuss’s, he somehow attached all 12 flintlocks his vest and wore it.

Najima: My sister was having a party, and I made my Russian Roulette Cupcakes without telling her they were Russian Roulette Cupcakes (More or less they are party game I made, except I ironically rarely attend parties.)

Basically, lets say you have 12 cupcakes, 5 are filled with good stuff, like chocolate mousse, or marshmallow fluff. 5 are filled with bad stuff, which is usually just whatever edible sourcesI can find in the kitchen that should never be legally allowed in a cupcake , Like Sardines, Pico, Mayo, etc.

Then 2 are “Big Bangs” , one is several good fillings mixed together, and the other is an abomination to mankind.

My older sister kicked me out of the room I was in last minute to have this party, so it was my revenge by only telling one of them what the cupcakes actually were and getting him to agree not to snitch that some were bad but make sure nobody gets something their allergic to.

Giving those cupcakes to tipsy College students and watching them eat them was a comedy act in of itself.

Bonus : Unintentionally started a school wide manhunt after using a giant highlighter I found on a random desk and forgetting to return it, and apparently the teacher it belonged to, who I didn’t have, was pissssseed.

I don’t know what exactly happened, but one of my friends had him and a week after I took it by accident he said he was so tired of the teacher interrogating them about it that he was contemplating just buying him a new one. Other conversations I overheard had people sounding down right homicidal, like “When I catch the guy that stole that stupid fucking highlighter-“

I literally just sat there like, In the words of John Mulaney :”Did I do that?”

I never returned it out of fear, and since I wasn’t even in his class I wasn’t a suspect.

———

OK THATS PROBABLY IT FOREVER BUT WHO KNOWS.

BYE :3

Stupid Shit I’ve done/Gotten myself into by accident/been dragged into as Twisted Wonderland Characters:

—————-

Ace : Heard my sister screaming bloody murder downstairs and didn’t do shit because I assumed she was watching a horror movie. Turns out there was a fire in the oven.

Bonus: Sniped my friend in the eye from across the Cafeteria with a Ketchup Packet, Meant to hit his glasses, but he repositioned them at the last second.

Deuce: Answered Maine four times on a Historical Geography test and was wrong all four times.

Cater: Threw my phone out of the window in a panic after seeing one of my Idols followed me back.

Bonus : Accidentally convinced a transfer camper from Wales I was from London after I quoted something in the accent to myself in the showers and was too awkward to tell them I wasn’t when they struck up the conversation.

(I am from America, and the camp is in America.)

Trey: Accidentally created a puddle of Dark Red Icing and Stepped in it four times in a row while making a cake at 2 am.

Bonus : Befriended and helped out the owner of a French Bakery down the street when they started out, they ended up becoming really popular (rightfully so, her stuff is amazing) and now I either get free shit and/or Friends and Family Discounts.

Riddle : I have read the dictionary on multiple occasions out of sheer boredom.

Bonus: I once read the bible and marked down verses. Im not religious I just needed to win an argument.

Leona: Slept through an earthquake and 3 ambulances coming to my house bcs my sister was hurt.

Ruggie: Waited for families going inside to pass by and asked them to hold the door for me so I could sneak into a VIP rooms for free food. (Usually only at fancy hotels but luckily this strategy is flexible when your 5’2 with a baby face.)

Jack: Used to Smash open large rocks containing Crystals or Quartz at the beach as a kid, and now I have a large collection of them.

Bonus: I have extremely good hearing, to the point I hear into the negative decibels up to -15 - -20 (according to the audiologist this is rare but i literally don’t know shit about audio and decibels) so my old dormmates used to try and bribe me to tell them what I heard about certain things or themselves.

Bonus 2: Almost got shot by an illegal hunter while in the woods with my sister.

Floyd : Cracked my skull open at the pool, lost consciousness for a few seconds and woke up in the water calling for help, then got confused on why I was calling for help.

Bonus : A Sea lion once came up to me while I was scuba diving and did little circles, bumped its snout on my mask and just followed me the whole time in a very gleeful manner as a temporary homie.

Bonus 2: Apparently ate / took bites of my moms library books as a little kid (????) according to the librarian.

Jade: Taught myself to untie my hands with my hands behind my back, tie by hands behind my back with my hands behind my back, deciphered, translated and memorized a fictional hieroglyphic language, Read from Act 1 to Act 6 of Homestuck, and accidentally discovered how to disguise Chocolate Ice Cream as Pistachio; all within the span of 2 weeks. (I had covid and was A-Symptomatic)

Bonus : Lived in the Woods for 7 months (in total), had a large bag of mica and Almost Drowned in a tent when there was no moving water nor rain. (Basically, I was asleep, Woke up underwater, nearly went back to bed, then shot out of my tent screaming “My Tent Titanticed!” )

(It was like 3 am don’t judge me)

Azul: Somehow ended up with $2200 dollars in $100s in Monopoly at the end of the game. Also have been stuck between two identical twins while talking with both and boi that shits TRIPPY. (I also almost died with them later but it was fine)

Bonus: I lived on a middle of fuck knows where island during the spring and summer up until covid, yet I absolutely despise eating fish or Shellfish, and the smell often makes me nauseous.

(Bonus 2: I love shiny things, but very specifically fancy looking keys. I also had a weird obsession with signing a shiny contract after watching Ariel. Another tiny thing Is I own a Flotsam and Jetsam Scarf which I chuck around when Floyd or Jade pisses me off ingame.)

Kalim : Got distracted by a cool leaf while at a fancy resort in Xatapa, Mexico, and waddled off from my parents and explored around to try and find more, somehow managed to get extremely far and ended up lost in a whole different city for 6 hours while trying to find my way back.

Bonus 1: I had an obsession with Kiwis for awhile as a kid, and our neighbors house had a Pangium tree that reached over to our yard. (It was planted before either families moved in so we didn’t know) I thought it was some kind of strange Kiwi and ate one. I didn’t like it and was like “Oh maybe its not ripe” and waited 3-5 months then tried it again, same reaction, repeat process one more time.

I went to my parents out of curiosity and asked them what it was, and so after some process I am unaware of but I think my mom brought one of the fruits somewhere, we discovered what it was.

Pangium contains Fatal amounts of Cyanide if not properly prepared. I was fine but for the love of anything please don’t try eating it like little me did.

Bonus 2: I’ve Almost died more times than I can count on both hands and feet. Im not an heir or something fancy I just have wackass luck.

Jamil: Once had to talk my sister out of jumping off a tour boat because our cousin dared her to.

Bonus : Managed to make French Toast in the middle of the woods with Dehydrated Milk, Cinnamon, Three Eggs I stole, and a loaf of bread we got once a month. Also made 3 kinds marinated chicken in the middle of the woods.

(My Cooking Style is literally “just trust me bro.” I’m like Lilia except it actually works and is edible)

Epel : Whenever we went applepicking at my Grandfathers house, I’d climb into the trees and throw or pass the apples down. Sometimes I actually wish I could sit in trees more often shits comfy.

Bonus: My Mom was a Champion Horseback Rider as a kid, and sometimes took us to this Dude Ranch I shall not name for my own privacy, but I’d run around with this group of kids and this one herding dog like a damn movie protagonist, sometimes go riding horses, or the one time we stole a tractor and near crashed it (THE REGRETS I STILL HAVE-) etc.

The WHIPLASH from that to going back to a whitewashed Northeast suburban town is insane.

Rook: My Cousins and I, and sometimes the kids at the priorly mentioned ranch, would play the most intense games of manhunt (basically really intense hide n seek at night) ,

I mean wearing camo if you had it, alliances, little dollar store walkie-talkies, code words, binoculars, climbing in trees or hiding in bushes/tall grasses/Hay to “scout”.

I hid in a large pot/vase more than once and another time on a roof, and (ONLY ONCE, DO NOT DO THIS IM STUPID) under a car.

I still remain the top in last man standing points. Mostly bcs I’m stingy with rescues but shhh

Vil - Accidentally poured a lot of liquid eyeliner into my eye, was literally crying out Eyeliner for 30 minutes. Also taught myself to run and jump in heels as a kid because I thought it looked cool in movies.

Ortho : Unknowingly was Hacking my Elementary School Databank for several years,

I genuinely thought it was normal to go on the school website, press a few buttons and be able to find a friends address if I had a playdate and needed to tell my mom where the house was, a parents phone number if needed communication with my friends parents , and mostly ignored the other general info.

I didn’t even know I did this until my dad told me a few months ago that I almost got suspended for it but by the time they found out it was the end of my last year there. ;—;

Idia: Accidentally acquired both a Nahida and Eula in Genshin and was genuinely annoyed at the time, they are now my most powerful DPS’s…

Bonus : I own a shit ton of original Japanese first edition Pokemon Cards my cousin gave me, (they are probably worth more than me which is neat), and I have a giant pile of Pokemon plushies I have infact fallen asleep on or in on multiple occasions.

Bonus 2: I was playing Breath of the Wild, and my very first thing I did after getting off the plateau was beeline for the castle. I actually got all the way up and took out 2 blights but the Wind one kicked my ass.

Bonus 3: Got confessed to and asked out by a guy I did not like nor knew very well, and I panicked, said “Maybe, Sorry no.” And ran into a wall. Also have crawled through a chute to avoid an awkward situation as a kid (do not recommend its dusty and definitely not safe)

Bonus 4: Once didn’t sleep for 5 days.

Malleus : Accidentally attended a Private Party and a Private Funeral in the same week. I was not invited nor knew anyone present. Stayed there for most of it because I was too nervous to say I wasn’t supposed to be there. Whoop.

Bonus: Got nicknamed the “Trip Curse.” By my Old Dormmates because everytime I went on a trip with them everything seemed to go to shit or get hella chaotic.

Bonus 2: Another camping one: Once woke up at night with a shit ton of fireflies just chilling in my tent. It was serene but also I genuinely thought I was hallucinating for a few minutes.

Lilia: Literally will hang upside down anywhere I can, its so fun bro.

Bonus : I know an extremely large amount of useless historical information, and once genuinely realized I know more about poison than what flour and eggs are used for in baking.

Silver : Once befriended a wild horse ( Im like 90% sure he was a Chestnut).

I called him Clover the Dog like horse because he was honestly just a golden retriever in the body of a horse.

This is great and theres alot of sweet moments, but then theres the times you have a giant horse galloping full speed at you for attention or trying to nudge you affectionately and nearly pushing you into a creek in the process.

Sebek: Got groundstruck by lightning once. Also I am often told I have a loud voice.

Che’nya : a good friend of mine and I have an inside joke at school where if we see eachother through a window (my school has alot of indoor windows for some reason?), we’ll text the other “Behind you.” Or “To your left.”

——————-

Theres more things I can think of but I have run out of characters and this is getting too long, so ye!

[randynova]

♡𝓜𝔂 𝓦𝓸𝓶𝓪𝓷♡

𝓖𝓾𝓷 𝔁 𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻

𝑆𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: 𝐴𝑙𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑦 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒, 𝐺𝑢𝑛 𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑐𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑎𝑙 𝑡𝑜 𝐺𝑜𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑦𝑠 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑖𝑓 𝑖𝑡 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑛𝑠 ℎ𝑒 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑜𝑓 𝑚𝑎𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑡 𝑡𝑜 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑒 𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒.

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔(𝑠):𝐹𝑒𝑚!𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟, 𝐹𝑙𝑢𝑓𝑓, 𝑠𝑜𝑓𝑡(𝑠𝑖𝑚𝑝)! 𝐺𝑢𝑛

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

“Why couldn’t this have waited until another day?” Gun muttered, unbuttoning his shirt, letting it slide off his taut frame, and neatly folding it, placing it onto the roof of his car. He was glad he hadn't put his jacket on, having left it in his passenger seat. “I can’t dirty my clothes again, [Name] will be mad if I get blood on it.” He rolled his broad shoulders until they released a satisfying crack, his thick muscles bulging as he stretched his arms across his scarred chest. Gun peered at a nearby store, the digital clock displaying in big white numbers, ‘7:45 PM’. He groaned, his lips curling into a scowl whilst his arms fell to his side. He didn’t have enough time to deal with this.

“Hmm, and it’s almost time for our date. Fuck.” Gun whispered to himself. He clenched his fists, narrowing his eyes at the man across from him. He removed his shades and revealed his dark gaze, placing his favorite accessory to his side as well. “I’ll make this quick, Goo. I have more important places to be.”

Goo laughed, grinning in his spot as he balanced a pole in his hands. He rolled his eyes, arching a brow at his partner. “Tsk, tsk, tsk, Gun, maybe if you didn’t spend all your time by [Name]’s side, we could have dealt with this matter much earlier. That girl has you wrapped around her pretty little finger, huh?”

“Shut it,” Gun said, already racing towards the blonde and thrusting his fist, knuckles colliding with metal. Upon the cold sensation meeting his skin, he wanted to absolutely kill Goo and rip him to shreds. This would take longer than he wanted, wasting his already precious, short time. He backed off, having a considerable distance between the two, stretching his fingers a few times before clenching them again. He growled, spitting venomously,  “You just like picking fights.” 

“You did too. Before you met her, y’know,” Goo tutted, waving his finger in the air. He scoffed, voice low, “Who would’ve thought? Gun going soft for a girl. Psh, pathetic. Never thought I’d live to see the day...” The blonde trailed off, his face becoming stoic, his mind wandering. You truly had to be someone exceptional if you managed to have a guy like Gun to fall for you. He always wondered who you were, how you looked like, what you did, but Gun had kept you a secret from the world of crime. He hid almost every known trace abou you and tied every loose end that implicated you existed. No one knew who you were and no one could find you — unless Gun allowed them to. 

Goo found it so irritating how he was unable to know the girl who made such a notorious gangster go soft. 

He only met you once and that was by pure sheer luck; dropping by unexpectedly at one of Gun's apartments, only to be met with the sight of you. Seeing how Gun reacted, he knew you were supposed to be kept hush-hush. But boy, did he have a field day the next time he saw the man.

Goo had to meet you again. Or at least, know you more.

Only when Gun’s fist connected with Goo’s face did the man snap out of his thoughts, the impact of such force throwing him a few feet backwards. He dug his feet into the floor, a high-pitched screech coming from his shoes as the rubber burned against the pavement. With his sleeve, Goo wiped his cheek, seeing a speck of blood staining his clothes. Goo chuckled, standing up straight with a grin, “If I can remember right, you told me you got Eli Jang in trouble for basically the same thing. What was her name again? Heather?”

Goo blocked the upcoming attack, his pole raised and crossed above his face. He pushed Gun back with an effortless swing of the pole. He tilted his head and scratched the back of his head with his free hand. “How is [Name] any different from Heather? What does she have on you?”

Gun twisted his neck gently until he heard a crack, looking back at Goo as he hissed with venom, “Nothing.”

“Let me think, let me think….” Goo hummed, racking his mind for any possibility that someone like Gun would stay with a woman longer than one night. His face lit up and he broke out into a wide grin, pointing a finger at Gun. “Aha! You got the poor girl knocked up, right?! See, I always tell you to wear protection! Just couldn’t keep it in your pants, hm? Shaaame.” 

“Ugh, fuck no. I don’t want kids and neither does she. We made that clear at the beginning," Gun said with a sneer, annoyed beyond comprehension at Goo's antics. 

“Awe, I really thought she held something over you. How about this: I’ll stop fighting you if you tell me why you’re still with such a pretty girl like [Name]? Deal?" Goo offered, slinging the pole onto his shoulder. His eyes darkened as he spat maliciously, knowing each word would wind and rile Gun's emotions. "She deserves better than a perverted gangster, you both know that.”

Gun stayed silent, the corners of his lips tugging down into a frown. Goo’s last words struck a chord in him, sending a pang through his heart upon hearing an insecurity he’ll never admit to. Of course. Everyone told you to stay away from a man like Gun. People kept telling you you will only get hurt in the end, that a better man will come along and sweep you off your feet if you just waited, or you could always do better than him. But you never listened. You stayed by his side, even when the whole world looked down on you two. Even for months, he tried convincing himself he felt nothing for you, but after a while, he finally accepted that someone managed to tear down his walls and enter his hollow, cold heart — you. 

You were just a different kind of girl - no- a different kind of woman. A special woman he had the pleasure of meeting. One he wouldn’t dare let go of now that he has the privilege of calling you ‘mine’. And by any god out there, he won’t be a stupid fool to lose you.

Gun sighed. “I tell you and you’ll put this stupid fight behind us, right?”

Goo placed a hand over his chest, replying shortly, “You have my word.~”

“[Name] is just that special person you meet once in your life. One you know you can’t let go of because there isn’t another like her. Simple as that.”

“What?! Ugh, don’t be boring! Tell me more!”

“You asked why I  stayed with her and I told you.”

“Yeah, but I expected a story, not some sad attempt at an old man’s wise words.”

A low guttural sound rumbled in Gun’s throat, his eye twitching. “Maybe when I’m in a better mood I’ll tell you, but if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with my woman.”

Goo groaned and tossed his pole to the side, rolling his eyes and grumbling, "Fiiine, but you owe me a story. "

"Whatever—damnit," Gun looked at the clock once again and his face contorted into one of pure irate. "I'm late."

'8:12 PM'

✦✦✦ ✦✦✦

Your head rested on your hand, balancing a glass of wine between your fingers, twirling the cup as the liquid swished around. Your eyes were looking down on the glory of Gangdong, the shimmering, blinding lights of the city mesmerizing you. The city always looked beautiful at this time of night. You just wished you could enjoy it with the person you cherished. A sigh leaves your lips and you look away, eyes trailing to the other tables over the balcony. 

The lingering eyes of many strange men didn't faze you anymore, the two burly boys surrounding your table always making them avert their gaze as fast as it landed. A courtesy of your boyfriend, who was at least thirteen minutes late, who insisted on you needing to be guarded at all times. You knew if he were here, no one would dare to even breathe in your direction, let alone glance. 

The cool air pricked your skin and a shiver passed through your body, reminding you of where you were. For a man as smart as him, Gun tended to neglect keeping the season in mind when planning your dates. Nonetheless, you were happy he went out of his way to take you out on such a busy schedule. 

You jumped in your seat, snapping out of your thoughts. A jacket was wrapped around your frame, warmth immediately enveloping you as the fabric made contact with your bare skin. You looked up and smiled. 

Gun stood behind you, towering over your sitting form as he made sure you were nice and covered. His coat basically swallowed you whole. A small stuffed animal was tucked under his arm, it’s fluffy fur peeking out. He walked over to take his seat, pulling the chair out, and wasting no time to slip in. He waved to the guards and they nodded, beginning to clear the scene of people.

“Sorry I’m late, [Name],” Gun started, taking the stuffie out from underneath his arm and presenting it to you. Oh, how adorable. "I brought you a gift as an apology."

A small brown otter sat in his palms, barely taking up Gun's hands. It’s beady, plastic eyes looked straight at you, a little smile stitched onto its snout. A snort left you. The sight of such a well-dressed, intimidating man carrying such an adorable toy was  amusing. "Really now? Just a cute toy, Gun?"

Gun sighed and sat up a bit from his chair, leaning over the table, and cupping your face as he planted a gentle kiss on your cheek. As quick as it started, Gun's lips left and he was seated once again. You pout. "Don't give me that look, [Name]. We can do more at home if you want but not here."

"It's not wrong to be disappointed in no kiss on the mouth after not seeing your boyfriend for such a long time. Don't you think I deserve it?"

Gun smirked, placing his shades on the table and taking your hand, intertwining your fingers together. He gave a light squeeze and you didn't miss a beat as you squeezed his coarse hand back. The way you pursed your lips and looked at him with such glossy, innocent eyes made his heart swell. With such a pretty, cute face, it was hard to say no to you. "Hmm, maybe. But Olly told me you crossed paths with Hostel A." Gun spoke, slipping his hands from yours and picking up his dinnerware, quickly cutting the savory meat into pieces. He didn't hesitate to put a piece up to your mouth, a hand underneath so as to not have the juice leak. "I was told you nearly broke the Uncles' bones and Big Daddy himself."

Your face scrunched up and you scoffed, shaking your head. You placed the stuffed animal to the side, petting it. "Figured those assholes wouldn’t tell you everything. The ‘uncles’ wouldn’t leave me alone and I thought Olly was another one of those bastards,” you snap, sitting back in your seat with a scowl. “How was I supposed to know he was trying to help when he dresses like that? I thought he was trying to assault me for God’s sake!”

Gun placed down his fork on his plate and his face twisted into one of fury, eyes turning cold and rigid as all the warmth disappeared whilst his lips curled back into a nasty frown. You almost thought his infamous scowl was directed towards you, but you knew better. You dear boyfriend wouldn't dare lay a single finger on you if it didn't bring you pleasure. "They what?" 

You smiled softly, placing your hand over his as it clenched into a fist. With your small attempt at trying to soothe him by rubbing small circles, you spoke with a bit of hesitation, "Ah, yeah. They kept trying to get my number and wouldn't let me leave the booth I was in. I had no other choice than to use the training you taught me. Since I never met Olly, I really thought he was just another one of them and I reacted before thinking, making me attack him too."

Gun scoffed, shaking his head as he listened to your explanation with disbelief, every word fueling his rage of someone daring to hit on his woman. Every fiber in Gun's body screamed, wanting to feel their skin underneath his fists as he pounded them into oblivion. But the only thing stopping him was his date with you. For now, he'll put his anger aside to be with you and keep you happy. Who knows how long he'll be gone and when he'll see you again. The man has to make every second count. 

Yet, he couldn’t let this go unpunished.

"Fuck." Gun leans closer to you and sits on the edge of his chair. Placing his hand over yours, he slips his fingers to grasp your palm, and lifts your hand to his lips, pressing tender kisses against your knuckles. His thumb grazing softly across your fingers and his eyes flutter shut. You couldn't help but stare in awe, never quite seeing him like this.

So careful with you, so gentle, you were surprised he wasn't seething in his seat and threatening to break their heads open. Gun opens his eyes and looks up at you, shaking in his seat. “I promise I’ll have those fuckers begging on their knees for your forgiveness. They should know better than to treat a woman with such rudeness and disrespect. Shit, I’ll go right now. I’ll beat them till-”

Your sweet laugh reaches his ears, cutting him off from his little speech. You lean in and pull in his hand to your lips, pressing a tender peck to his coarse knuckles. Gun felt his heart race and skip a beat at the sight, shock crossing his features. You look up, looking at your boyfriend with mirthful eyes. “As much fun as that sounds, I'd rather you stay here. Please? I want to spend as much time with you before you go back to work.”

The man stayed silent for a few seconds, taking in your words. He looked away, clicking his tongue before he broke out into a small smile, a blush blooming across his cheeks and the tip of his ears burning a bright red. “Of course, [Name]. Though, you could’ve just said you like spending time with me.”

Giggling, you lower your hands and shake your head. “Gun, of course I like spending time with you. You’re my favorite person and I love you after all.” Your voice said those three words with such fondness, it’s as if the man was in a dream. 

If your words from before didn’t send Gun over the edge, your proclamation of love surely did now. He looked down, grinning like an idiot, showing a soft, bashful side he’s never revealed to anyone before. He swore his heart would jump out of his throat from how fast it was pounding against his ribcage. Gun grasped your hand tightly and sighed blissfully, Gently, he spoke, gazing at you with loving eyes, “I love you too.”

You smiled.

The tension in the air grew to be too much and both of you found it unbearable, wanting to do what both of you have been waiting for for weeks.

Both of you sat up and leaned over the table, closing the gap between you two as your lips interlocked, slipping together like if you were made for eachother. The kiss sparked and fed the fire both of you held in your hearts, burning brighter with every moment you spent at one another’s side. Gun couldn’t help but smile against your mouth.

As much as he hated being apart from you for so long, moments like these made the long hours worth it. If working so much meant he could provide for you, then he wouldn't mind doing it for the rest of his life if you had a roof over your head and a nice, warm meal at night.

Afterall, you were his woman.

And he loved you.

✦✦✦✦✦✦

©𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚢𝚗𝚘𝚟𝚊 || 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚍 || 𝚗𝚘 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜, 𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚜, 𝚌𝚘𝚙𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚎𝚝𝚌. 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚌𝚒𝚛𝚌𝚞𝚖𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚜 .

✦✦✦✦✦✦

[americasass91]

The Shield and the Sweater

Hello lovelies! This little fic came to me when the lovely, beautiful, talented @stargazingfangirl18​ asked a very important question on her blog. Would you rather be enemies to lovers with Steve Rogers or friends with benefits with Ransom Drysdale. Well my greedy ass wanted both. Thus the birth of this story. I also turned it around a little to make it fit into Siri’s 5k Soft Dark Challenge! I’ve never written anything dark before. Also not sure if this classifies as soft!dark or if it’s more dark. But it’s one of those! If that makes you uncomfortable, then please don’t read it. This is also my first time writing a threesome, so let me know if it sucks! I hope you enjoy it! 😘

General prompts:

8)The town golden boy isn’t as sweet as everyone thinks.

Dialogue prompts:

3)”Oh, honey, you weren’t supposed to see that.”

11)”I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart.”

Rating: Explicit(if you’re under 18, please leave)

Words: 6.2k(this one got away from me, sorry)

Warnings: soft!dark/dark themes, unprotected sex, anal sex, vaginal sex, threesome(M/M/F), manipulation, language, model!Ransom being an asshole, Steve not being who you think he is

“And I really think if everyone pitches in to make these changes, it’ll really make a difference in the long run.”

Wow, so this is how you were going to die. In your whole 20 something years of existence, you never thought boredom would be your cause of death.

Sure, you were the lead Accountant at Stark Tower and these monthly meetings were mandatory. But did you really have to be here to listen to Rogers go on and on about how we can ‘improve our working environment’? Why did he even care anyway? He was barely ever here as it is.

You must have been zoning out worse than you thought because next thing you know your coworker, Janet, is poking you in the side and pointing towards Steve.

With a quick glare sent her way, you move your gaze to the Captain. He is giving you the same look he always does. Like he’s disgusted with you. “I’m sorry Miss Y/L/N. Am I boring you?”

A scoff escapes your mouth. “No, not at all Captain Rogers. I just love when people who are never here seem to always have an opinion on how things are run and how they could be better.”

He narrows his eyes at you. “Do you have a problem with me, Y/N? Cause if you do, I’m sure there’s a way to solve that.”

You stand up and match his expression. You lean forward with your hands resting on the table. You can’t help but notice the Captain drops his gaze to your cleavage that’s now on more display than before. But just as quick as it was there, his gaze rises back up to meet your face. “Is that a threat, Captain Rogers?”

“Oh, it’s more than a-“

Tony quickly stands up and claps his hands together. “Okay! Meeting adjourned! You two, come here!”

You quickly straighten yourself up and make your way over to Tony. You always try to make sure you show him as much respect as you can. He’s your boss after all.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark. My emotions got the better of me. It won’t happen again.”

He nods to you. “Thank you, Y/N. I accept your apology. But what I’m not understanding is why Steve here wanted to fire you?”

You both turn to look at Steve who has a sheepish expression on his face. “Yeah, sorry about that, Tony. She just seems to bring out this ugly side of me. I’ll try to keep it more contained next time.” He then moves his gaze to you. “Sorry, Y/N. I promise to be more professional moving forward.”

He makes a quick exit, leaving you shocked that he apologized at all. Ever since you started here almost a year ago now, you’ve been at each other’s throats. It was your fault really.

It was your first week and you were in the break room grabbing some coffee when you overheard a few of your coworkers making fun of Steve for being a virgin. Now, you weren’t sure if it was true but you wanted to fit in so you made your way over to the group and asked if anyone calls him Captain Virgin. That earned you some big laughs. But the laughter died down quickly as Steve entered the room to grab some coffee. Judging by the glare he gave you, he heard what you had called him.

You went straight to Tony after that to apologize. You really didn’t want to get fired. But you wanted to make sure Tony heard the story from you before Steve got the chance to talk to him. To your utter surprise, Tony found the name hilarious and gave you a high five, saying you were going to fit right in.

Well long story short, it’s almost a year later and Steve is still getting called Captain Virgin. Oh but don’t worry, he has names of his own for you. His favorite is Tony’s Pet. For some reason, it really eats at you when he calls you that.

But the one thing you hate the most about Steve?

Is how utterly, hopelessly, and desperately attracted you are to the son of a bitch.

That happened in your second week when you went to use the complimentary gym and saw him beating the shit out of some poor punching bag. Your panties and your workout were definitely ruined after that.

The more you fought with Steve, the more you just wanted him to bend you over any surface and have his way with you.  

It was despicable how horny you were for him. You were pretty sure all he’d have to do is snap his fingers and point to the floor in front of him and you’d happily drop to your knees and take him down your throat.

So that left you leaving work every day in a horny state. You started by taking care of it yourself when you got home. But after a while even that wasn’t cutting it. Then you started bringing home one night stands. But after the 4th disappointing non-orgasm, you gave up and just learned to live with it.

Sure, you could attempt to start being nice to Steve and maybe ask him out. But you were pretty sure he hated you. Plus you have way too much pride to actually do that.

So that leads to now. It’s Friday night and your workday is almost over. You’re inputting the last few numbers from the last expense report in your pile.

You get the last number put in when Janet approaches you. She sits on the corner of your desk. “So, you coming tonight?”

You take your glasses off and lean back in your chair, stretching your arms over your head. “Coming where?”

She rolls her eyes at you. “Oh, come on Y/N! You know we go out almost every Friday night. You never come and you always say you will!”

You start to clear off your desk and put things back in their place. “Yeah well I could. Or I could go home and sit on my ass and do nothing.”

“Well, that explains why it’s looking a bit bigger lately.”

Janet’s jaw drops as she directs her gaze at Steve, who is now standing in front of your desk.

You smirk and lean on your elbows towards him. “You like looking at my ass, Rogers?”

He scoffs. “Well when it takes up that much space, it’s hard not to notice. But here, I came to give you this.”

He hands you what looks to be a 10 page expense report. “Sorry it’s late, I’ve been busy, you know. Saving the world.”

You ungraciously take it from him and throw it in your to-do pile. “That can wait until Monday. I’ve got plans. We’re going to-” you look towards Janet for clarification. “Lavo.” You turn your gaze back to Steve. “Yeah, we’re going to Lavo. So this will wait til Monday if that’s okay with you, sir.”

Steve does his best to move his bag and jacket subtly towards the front of his pants so you won’t notice his growing hard-on. He hates how turned on he gets when you guys get into it. And then you call him sir? Jesus. He clears his throat. “Of course, I'm the one who turned it in at the last minute.”

Janet speaks up quickly. “You could always come with us! It’ll be fun!”

You grin widely at him. “Yeah! You could finally get your cherry popped, Captain Virgin.”

Steve can’t help the blush that covers his cheeks. “Uh, I can assure you my cherry has been popped since the 40’s. But thank you for your concern. And thank you for the invite, Janet. But i think I’ll stay in tonight.” He takes out his phone and sends a quick text before turning around and walking towards the elevators.

Wow. He didn’t even try to retaliate. You shrug your shoulders and grab your purse before standing up. “Alright, I’ll go! But on one condition!”

Janet claps her hands in excitement and starts walking with you towards the elevators. “Sure, anything!”

You press the button for the lobby. “You are going to be my wingwoman. Cause this girl definitely needs to get laid.”

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Lavo is super packed by the time you guys arrive. Of course you all had to go home and change.

You decided to go with a simple, yet effective, little black dress that showed off just enough to get men’s attention.

Thankfully you are able to score the last table. The waiter comes over and gets everyone’s drink order. You decide to stick with your favorite. You don’t want to get too drunk on the off chance you find someone to take home.

About a half hour into hot office gossip, Lucy, who is sitting across from you, taps your arm. You raise your eyebrows in question towards her.

She subtly nods her head towards the bar. “Okay I’m pretty sure the hottest guy I have ever seen is checking you out.”

You can’t help the smirk that crosses your face. “Yeah? Which one?”

“You can’t miss him. He’s fucking hot. Like no comparison to any of the other dudes sitting up there.”

You glance down at your drink and quickly finish the remainder. You stand up and adjust your dress, pushing up your breasts in the process. “Well, then I guess it’s time for a refill.” You wink and turn to make your way towards the bar.

It doesn’t take long for you to spot him. And boy was Lucy not kidding. He was fucking hot. Brown hair, blue eyes, and a smug smirk that would normally turn you off. But on him it worked. And who even looks that good in a fucking cream colored cable knit?

You go up to the bar, not too close to Mr. Hottie of course, and patiently wait for the bartender.

Hottie McHothot not so subtly moves his gaze up and down your body. He must like what he sees. “Hey honey, have you ever raised chickens?”

Uh. That’s definitely not the first thing you expected to come out of his mouth. You look over at him with confusion on your face. “Uh, no. Why do you ask?”

He just shrugs his shoulders. “Just kinda figured you might. Cause you sure can raise a cock.”

Okay, you’ve definitely never heard that line before. You crack up. You’re pretty sure you even snorted on accident. Once you collect yourself you ask, “Has that line ever worked for you?”

The bartender makes his way over to take your order. After reordering what you had before, you turn towards Hottie and wait for his answer.

“Not sure, my buddy told it to me yesterday so this is the first time I’m using it. Did it work?”

You shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know. It was pretty cheesy.”

“Yeah, maybe. But it got you to laugh. So I’d say mission accomplished. Name’s Ransom. What’s yours, pretty girl?” He holds out his hand for you to shake.

Ransom. Now where have you heard that name before? You accept his hand shake. You can’t help but notice how much bigger his hands are than yours. Jesus. You could already feel your panties getting wet.

“My name’s Y/N. Ransom, that sounds familiar. Do I know you?”

He releases your hand and goes to take a sip of his bourbon. “Well, I guess that depends. Do you read magazines or have you seen the side of the city bus lately?”

You quickly wrack your brain. You don’t read many magazines. But the bus drives by you everyday on your walk to work. Holy shit! That’s it! He’s in his underwear on the side of the bus. You’ve drooled over that picture plenty of times.

“Oh, yeah! I remember now! I’ve seen you on the bus! What’s it an ad for? I can never really get past the almost naked man. A bit distracting on my way to work.”

He smirks as he briefly glances down at your breasts. “I’m glad you know my work. It’s an ad for Calvin Klein. For their new line of men’s briefs. Sorry I’ve been a distraction.” He sends you a wink.

Fuck. He was a model. And a popular one at that if he’s in an ad for Calvin Klein.

“I didn’t say I minded. You can make it up to me you know.” You wink back. Holy shit. Were you really flirting with a model?

“Yeah? Well, how about we get out of here and I’ll show you a fully naked man.”

Okay. Cheesy line number 2. Was that really going to work on you?

Yes.

Yes it was.

“Let me just go grab my purse.”

Drink forgotten, you go back to your table as quickly as you can without looking desperate. “Sorry, girls. But this is where I leave you.”

Janet glances down at her phone. “We haven’t even been here an hour yet! Where are you going?”

You send her a wink. “I’m leaving with that guy! You guys know him! Remember that ad on the side of the bus?”

They all turn their gaze to him. And they all make it very obvious. He just waves and sends them a smirk.

“Holy fucking shit! That’s the new Calvin Klein guy! Oh my god you lucky bitch!”

“Wait! Listen. We’ll let you go on one condition.”

You furrow your brows in confusion. “Okay?”

Janet gives you a naughty smirk. “On Monday I’ll need a report on if they had to stuff his briefs to get that delicious looking bulge or not.”

You give her a naughty smirk of your own. “I can totally do that.”

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Monday morning you were all smiles as you stepped off the elevator and headed towards your desk. You give Janet a wink as you pass by her. She quickly makes her way over just as you sit down. “Um, excuse me hoe. But is that the same dress you were wearing Friday night?”

You quickly grab the cardigan you always keep in your desk out and put it on and button it up, attempting to look a little more professional. “Maybe.”

Janet opens her mouth in shock. “You stayed the whole weekend with him? You little slut! How was it?”

You turn on your computer and grab for the expense report of Steve’s you left in your to-do pile. Then you turn towards your nosy coworker. “Well, if you must know, yes. I did stay the whole weekend with him. And I’m pretty sure I was in an orgasm-induced coma the whole time. It’s all kind of a rough, sticky, mind-blowing blur.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

You shrug your shoulders as you put in your login information on the computer. “I haven’t decided yet. While the sex was the best I’ve ever had, he’s kind of an ass. Talked about himself and all the famous people he’s hooked up with since becoming a model. I honestly kept initiating sex just to make him shut up.”

She gives you a look like you’re stupid. “I’m not seeing the issue here. So what if he talks about himself a lot? The sex was amazing. You need to lock that down girl.”

You roll your eyes at her. “That’s the thing, Janet. He doesn’t do relationships. He told me so multiple times. Plus I’m pretty sure he was texting another chick in between our ‘sessions’. I suppose if I’m desperate, I’ll get a hold of him.”

“You know you could always just have him on backup for sex. Like a friends with benefits situation.”

“Janet, I’m in my late 20s. I’m too old for that kind of relationship.”

“Exactly, you’re in your late 20s! This is the perfect time for that kind of relationship before you settle down and get married! Have one last final hoorah!”

“I can’t have this conversation before caffeine. I’m going to get coffee. You act like I’m dying soon or something.” You turn to walk away but then remember you were supposed to tell her something. “Oh yeah and by the way. The bulge is definitely not stuffed.”

You give her a wink and then head to the break room for some much needed coffee. When you see who’s in there, you almost contemplate going downstairs to a different break room.

Steve is standing at the counter, preparing his coffee. He turns when he hears you come in and gives you a once over. “Well, look what the cat dragged in.”

You grab a mug out of the cabinet beside him. “Sorry my appearance isn’t up to your standards today, Rogers. I was a little...busy this weekend.”

He takes a sip of his coffee to make sure it’s right. Then he moves out of your way so you can get to the coffee, but still staying close. “Busy getting run over by a truck? Cause that’s kind of what you look like.”

You pour yourself a generous amount of coffee and take a long sip, letting the bitter liquid slowly make you human. “Yeah, well. I was busy getting fucked all weekend, Rogers. But I know your little innocent mind wouldn’t know what that’s like.”

That wipes the stupid little smirk right off his face. He almost looks pissed. He moves even closer to you. Almost pressing himself right up against you. So close that you can smell his coffee-scented breath. If you were wearing panties, they’d be ruined.

“Not all of us feel the need to sleep around. Some of us are looking for a real connection. Not just a one night stand of meaningless, mediocre sex.”

You press yourself just a little closer to him, his chest now touching yours. “Oh, it was anything but mediocre. Maybe if you actually got some, you’d know what that feels like.”

He leans his head down until his mouth is next to your ear, his left hand now resting on your hip. “You really need to stop insinuating that I’m a virgin sweetheart. If you were nicer to me, I’d show you that I know how to fuck.” With that he backs up and heads out of the break room.

You let out the breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. Jesus Christ. You swear you almost came.

And if you were nicer to him? Fuck him. He’s not nice to you either. That’s okay. You have someone who can scratch this itch.

You pull out your phone and send a quick text.

To: Fuckboi

You busy tonight? I could really use a release.

The reply came almost immediately.

From: Fuckboi

Didn’t get enough of my cock this weekend huh? I suppose I could make myself available.

You roll your eyes and quickly reply with your address and what time to be over.

The rest of the day passes by slowly. It takes you half the day to enter Steve’s expense report. God he’s descriptive. At least it’s completed. You can’t really say that much for the other Avengers. They usually half assed them and made them barely acceptable.

You are shutting down for the day when Steve approaches your desk. You remove your glasses and look at him expectantly. “Is there something I can help you with, Steve?”

A blush creeps it’s way across his cheeks. “Um, I was actually just wondering if you had time to go over the new expense report forms? They should be a lot easier to fill out.”

You glance down at the clock on your computer. Ransom is going to be at your place in about 20 minutes.“Can we do it tomorrow? I have company that’ll be showing up at my apartment in like 20 minutes.”

His hopeful smile falls. His face is now unreadable. “Would your company happen to be whoever you spent the weekend with?”

Confused, you grab for your purse after getting your computer shut down. “Actually, yes. Should I have asked your permission first?” You attempt a joke to ease the sudden tension.

He pulls out his phone and starts typing furiously. Wow. You weren’t aware he knew how to text. You hear it ping with a reply before he angrily puts it back in his pocket. “Sure, we can do this tomorrow. Wouldn’t want to get in the way of your whoreing around.”

Your jaw drops in surprise. Sure you guys were always throwing jabs at each other. But he’d never said anything like this before. And in such a mean tone.

You round your desk and stand right in front of him. “Fuck you, Steve.”

You hurry towards the elevators before he can see the tears that have welled up. You couldn’t let him know he had that power over you. Asshole. Thank god Ransom was coming over. Hopefully he could fuck what Steve just said right out of your head.

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

You’ve lost count of how many orgasms Ransom has pulled from you with his mouth when there’s a knock on your door.

Ransom looks up at you from his kneeling position on your living room floor. “Did you invite someone else to join us, pretty girl?”

You scoff and push him away so you can stand up. You pull your dress down as you make your way towards the door. “Yeah. I can barely handle just you. I’m pretty sure if we added someone else, I’d actually die.”

You open the door and gasp in surprise. “Steve? What are you doing here?”

He rubs the back of his neck nervously. “Look, I know you probably already have company but I felt really bad about what I said to you earlier today and wanted to apologize.”

You have so many questions. “How did you know where I lived?”

That sheepish smile makes its appearance again. “I may or may not have looked in your employee file.”

You shake your head. “And you felt the need to come all the way here and apologize? Why not just text me?”

“It would only have felt right to me to do it in person. I really am sor-”

You feel a pair of arms wrap around you from behind. “Well, who do we have here? Why is Captain America at your door?”

You turn your head to address Ransom. “He just came by to apologize to me. I think he was just leaving.”

Steve has a disappointed look on his face. “Yeah, I suppose I was.”

“Awe, what a shame. I thought you were gonna ask him to join us, pretty girl.”

Steve’s eyes grow wide at the thought. You quickly speak up. “No, I don’t think he’d be comfortable with that. He’s a little old fashioned.” You give him a sincere smile. You didn't think that was a bad thing.

Steve looks back towards the elevators and then back to you. He clears his throat. “What if I wanted to join you?” Seeing your wide eyed look, he quickly adds, “Only if Y/N would be comfortable with that of course.”

You contemplate what the consequences could be in your head. But then you get distracted when Ransom starts grinding his hard on against your ass. “Come on, pretty girl. Make a decision.”

The next word comes out of your mouth faster than what your brain can process. “Okay.”

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

Now you were standing awkwardly in your bedroom with Steve and Ransom looking at you expectantly.

You’ve never done this before so you’re not sure how this is supposed to go. “So, um. How do we start exactly?”

Ransom smirks and comes up behind you. “I think you should call the shots, pretty girl. If you’re okay with that, Steve?”

With the mention of his name, he walks towards you and places his hands on your hips. “I think that’s a great idea. Can I kiss you now?” He places his hand under your chin and raises your face up to meet his. “I’ve waited a long time for this, sweetheart.” With that, his lips meet yours. It’s explosive. You quickly wrap your hands around his neck and press yourself up against him.

You get so lost in the kiss, you forget that Ransom is there. That is until he presses his lips against your neck and presses himself against your ass. It presses you even further against Steve, making you feel his excitement against your lower belly.

You’re so overwhelmed already and you’d barely started. You may not survive this evening.

As you move your hands down to remove Steve’s shirt, Ransom is unzipping your dress, pressing kisses to every inch of exposed skin.

Without breaking the kiss, Steve moves his hands around to unhook your bra so he can get his hands on your breasts. He pinches your nipples, causing you to moan into his mouth. He moves his lips to your neck, sucking on your pulse point.

After successfully removing your dress, Ransom stands back up and turns your head to connect your lips. He starts rutting his clothed hard on against your naked ass. His left hand reaches around to bat one of Steve’s away so he can squeeze your breast.

Steve takes the hand that had been swatted away and moves it down to your soaking wet core. He starts lightly circling your clit. Just enough pressure to make you mewl.

You reach behind you with your left hand and tug at the waistband of Ransom’s briefs. “Off.” You moan out as you take your right hand and start attempting to take off Steve’s jeans. He smirks into your neck and helps you out. He barely gets them unbuttoned and unzipped before you’re reaching your hand into them and his boxers to grab his cock. It feels big.

Ransom grabs your left hand and places it on his now free cock. You wrap your hand around it and give it a squeeze before you start pumping your hand up and down. You do the same to Steve’s, making the both of them let out grunts against both sides of your neck. Steve increases the pressure on your clit a little. Still not enough.

“Nee-need, you. Please.” You weakly moan out. Ransom moves his mouth up to your ear. “How do you want us, pretty girl?”

You reluctantly pull away from both of them so you can think. You decide to be greedy. You point to Steve. “I want you to lay on the bed, please.”

He does as you ask. Putting his hands behind his head as he awaits further instructions.

You get on the bed and straddle him. You turn around and reach your arm out for Ransom. “Want you behind me.” You lean over and open your bedside drawer to grab the lube and toss it at Ransom. He smirks as he straddles Steve’s legs and gets behind you. He uncaps the lube and starts coating his cock with a generous amount. “Need my cock in that ass, pretty girl?”

You hold up your hand. “Wait.” You lean down towards Steve and give him a quick kiss. “Are you okay with this?”

He nods his head. “As long as you are.” You raise back up and smile at him. You turn your head and look at Ransom. “I’m assuming you're okay with this?”

He just smirks and squeezes some lube out so that it slides down the crack of your ass. “More than okay, pretty girl. Need me to stretch you out first?”

You smirk and pull him in for a quick, filthy kiss. “I think it got plenty stretched out this weekend.”

He matches your smirk. “You little slut. Wanting both of our cocks stuffing you full.”

You whimper as he lands a smack on your ass. Leaning up on your knees, you grab a hold of Steve’s cock and start running his tip up and down your folds. He places his left hand on your right hip and his right hand on your left thigh. “Condom?”

You quickly shake your head and pause your actions. “On the pill. Unless of course you’d be more comfortable with one.”

He shakes his head. “No, just making sure.”

You turn back to Ransom. “I’ll let you know when I’m ready for you.”

He nods and places his hands on your shoulders, waiting somewhat patiently.

You slowly sink down on Steve’s cock. He’s stretching you out so deliciously. It burns in just the right way. Ransom may be longer, but Steve is definitely thicker.

After you get fully seated on him, you take a minute to adjust. It only takes a few seconds. You turn your head towards Ransom. “Okay, I’m ready.”

He removes his right hand from your shoulder and grabs the base of his cock and starts pressing against the tight ring of muscle. He’d been in there a lot over the weekend. But it was still a tight fit regardless. He doesn’t go as slow and sheaths himself to the hilt, causing you to moan out in slight pain and pleasure.

Holy fuck. You feel so full. You think you might die. That is until Ransom removes his cock until just the tip remains and then forcefully thrust back in, causing you to grind on Steve’s dick.

Steve grunts out from the movement and starts thrusting up into you the best he can from his position. Ransom wraps his left arm around you and continues his thrusts, not letting up his pace. You don’t even really have to move, the both of them doing it for you. They somehow find the perfect rhythm. Each of them pulling out and pushing in at the same time. One of your hands is behind you, resting on the back of Ransom’s head while the other is resting on Steve’s chest.

Steve sits up suddenly and pulls you in for a kiss. “Like being stuffed with both of our cocks, pretty girl?” You hear from behind you. “Yes. So good. So full. Gonna cum.”

Ransom removes his arm from around you and reaches down and starts circling your clit. “Do it. Cum all over us. Make a mess.”

Steve can feel you squeezing him. “Please, sweetheart. Need to feel you cum on my cock. You’re gripping me so good.”

You explode. You clamp your eyes shut, seeing stars behind your eyelids. You let the both of them fuck you through it.

Ransom’s hips stutter. The fluttering around his cock is too good. He cums with a shout of your name, filling up your ass to the brim. He gives you a few more thrusts before he pulls out and collapses beside you two.

Steve’s been patient while you come down from your high. He lays back down, pulling you with him so that your chest to chest. He bends his knees and grabs onto your hips. “You ready, sweetheart?” You raise up, both of your hands on each side of his head. You give him a nod.

That’s all he needs. He starts fucking you, hard and fast, chasing his release. He can feel it building. He just needs to feel you come undone around him again. He moves one of his hands and starts circling your clit with his thumb. “Need you to cum for me again, Y/N.”

You shake your head. “Can’t. Too much.”

Ransom sits up beside you. “I know what she needs.” He reaches over with his left hand and wraps it around your throat, squeezing gently.

It makes you clench down on Steve’s cock. “Yeah? That all you needed, sweetheart? A hand wrapped around your pretty throat? I know you like it. Can feel you squeezing me.” He picks up his pace. The only sounds that can be heard are his grunts, your breathy monas, and skin slapping against skin.

It doesn’t take long for your orgasm to hit you. This one is somehow even more intense than the last.

You must’ve blacked out for a few seconds because the next thing you know, you’re waking up in between Steve and Ransom.

Steve smiles down at you. “There she is. We lost you for a second, sweetheart.”

You feel drunk. You smile goofily up at him. “Did you cum?”

Just as you ask that, you can feel his release seeping out of your overused cunt. Then you feel cum leaking out of your ass. You hide your face behind your hands in embarrassment. “I can’t believe we just did that.”

Ransom removes one hand while Steve removes the other. “Nuh uh uh. No hiding allowed, pretty girl. I have no regrets.” He looks at Steve. “Do you?”

Steve smiles down at you and leans down to press a soft kiss against your lips. “None from me. You tired, sweetheart?”

You let out a big yawn and nod your head, slowly closing your eyes. “Get some rest, pretty girl.” That’s the last thing you hear before sleep takes you.

😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

You wake up sometime in the early morning, stretching out your sore limbs. You know you have a dumb smile on your face. But you can’t help but notice your empty bed.

You sit up and hiss at the deliciously sore feeling between your legs. You grab your robe and slip it on. You can smell coffee coming from the kitchen. You giddily make your way out of the room and down the hallway. They both barely just come into view, still unaware you’re there, when you hear Steve speak.

“I thought you were going to be an asshole to her? Make her see I’m not that bad.”

You hear Ransom next. “I was an asshole to her. I’m sorry I dicked her down so good that she wanted more.”

Steve scoffs. “I never gave you the okay to fuck her!”

“You also didn’t tell me it was off limits. Look you got what you wanted right?”

“No, actually I didn’t. I didn’t pay you so we could have a threesome together.”

What the fuck? Steve paid Ransom to help him get in your pants?

“Ok, how about this? I’ll give you all of your money back if I can fuck her one more time before I go? Then we’ll be squared away.”

Steve seems to be conflicted. “Fine! But this is the last time Ransom. I have to get to work anyway. After this, she’s mine. And make sure she’s not late for work herself.”

Before you have time to react, Steve rounds the corner and sees you standing there. He has a deer caught in headlights look. Ransom comes up beside him and sees you. “Oh, honey, you weren’t supposed to see that.”

You slowly start backing up towards your bedroom. Steve moves towards you, stopping once you put your hands up. “Stay away from me! Both of you! I want nothing to do with either of you!”

Ransom moves past Steve and grabs onto your arms. “Oh, please. You’d fuck us again if we wanted. Wouldn’t you?”

You spit in his face. “Fuck you, Hugh.”

He gets a sinister look on his face. “Wrong move, pretty girl.” He looks toward Steve. “Don’t worry, I’ll fuck the brat out of her. You better tell her boss she won’t be in today.”

Your eyes go wide at his words. You start thrashing against him, trying your best to get away. Steve has had enough. He comes over and yanks you away from him and presses you against the wall. “You better calm down, sweetheart. I’ll treat you like a princess if you can be my good girl. Can you do that?”

You shake your head. “Why would you think I’d want anything to do with you after finding out you paid someone to help get into my pants?”

He gives you an evil smirk. “Because if you don’t, I’ll just have to release the tape of last night on the internet. Let everyone see how much of a slut you actually are.”

You narrow your eyes at him. “You’re bluffing.”

He smirks and turns his head towards Ransom. “Show her.”

Ransom gets his phone out of his pocket and swipes at the screen for a second before turning it in your direction.

Holy shit. They weren’t bluffing. There you were, getting fucked by the both of them. That would ruin you if it got out. Not only would you get fired, but your parents would probably disown you. You’d never have a normal relationship again. You’re fucked. Even more than you were last night. How had you not noticed they were recording it?

Ransom must have read your mind. “I set my phone up while you were busy with Steve’s fingers on your cunt and his tongue down your throat. I think you need to ask her again Steve.”

Steve grabs your chin and moves your gaze onto his face. “I’ll ask you again. Are you going to be my good girl? Let Ransom fuck you one more time and then it’ll just be me and you?”

You drop your gaze to the floor. You feel a tear run down your cheek as you whisper out, “I’ll be your good girl.”

Taglist: @stargazingfangirl18​ @drabblewithfrannybarnes​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @lllols @patzammit​ @quxxnxfhxll​

Steve Taglist: @donutloverxo​

[noonborykedabory]

The Turning Red 9/11 review is probably old news at this point but I’m really fucking angry tonight and need to blow off some steam, so I am finally breaking my silence on this matter, because there is so much I need to scream about.

This is not in any particular order because I just don’t fucking care, so bear with me as we sift through what is possibly the angriest post I will ever make on this hellsite.

“Boy bands were on the way out”

Bullshit. I was born in 2004, and let me tell you, boy bands were absolutely still in during the late 2000s and into the 2010s (Inside Out, another Pixar film released in 2015, directly states the main character likes boy bands at the end). Even ignoring the obvious example of One Direction, there were pop groups like Big Time Rush, punk groups like Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, and today, we have K-pop groups like BTS. In fact, there is literally a member of 4*Town directly based on a member of BTS.

See that? That’s a breathing reminder that boy bands are still popular and that your point is literally false.

“This strange adult trying to completely obscure their appearance, carrying a box”

1. The only thing different about Ming’s appearance in that scene is that she’s wearing sunglasses, which is something the Aunties do later in the film when they are doing the opposite of obscuring their appearances, 2. Ming has a child in the school (who’s in Grade 8, so she’s been there for three years), so they would absolutely recognize a child’s parent, especially one as overprotective as Ming, and 3. What box? It was hidden in her purse, out of sight of the security man. Even then, the box is very obviously a box of menstrual pads, and not something that would raise suspicion.

Gee, I sure do wonder who that is...

“I bring {9/11} up because it radically altered the culture of the time”

Then how come I didn’t learn about it until I was 12, in 2016, when the 2000s were over? By the way, I see you showing a Muslim character on screen when you start bringing up a terrorist attack that sparked a huge wave of Islamophobia that still hasn’t stopped today. Real classy there.

That poor woman. She didn’t deserve this shit.

“The dad has two words throughout the whole thing, then near the end he decides to become an actual character”

THE MOVIE IS NOT ABOUT JIN! THE POINT IS THAT THE RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN THE MOTHERS AND DAUGTHERS ARE STRAINED AND NEED TO BE FIXED! JIN IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE A SMALL PRESENCE BECAUSE HE IS LARGELY UNINVOLVED IN THE PROBLEM!

You’re just mad that Jin didn’t have a larger role because he’s a man, aren’t you. This whole fucking video reeks of misogyny.

“Anime was a more niche thing”

More bullshit! Anime like Pokemon, Dragon Ball, and Sailor Moon (a major influence on the movie) became popular in North America during the 90s, and exploded in popularity in the 2000s! The early 2000s were also around the time that anime-style effects became more common in Western cartoons (see: Teen Titans 2003). Anime was more of a flavour of the decade than fucking 9/11!

See? Stacy understands the assignment. Why don’t you?

“(literally anything he says about Ming, take your pick)”

You clearly do not understand the point of the term “exaggeration for comedic effect”. The point of scenes like the school scene and the Daisy Mart is that Ming is overreacting, and it’s causing a rift between her and Mei that needs to be resolved before the movie’s conclusion.

Also, the way you word things makes it sound like Ming went to the Daisy Mart for Devon’s sake. She didn’t go because she wanted Devon to know that her daughter was drawing suggestive fanart of him, she went because she suspected someone she thought was a grown-ass adult was hitting on her 13 year old daughter. In what fucking world is Ming not justified to be pissed off at the idea that a 30 year old was trying to fuck around with her minor child? (Doesn’t mean it was right for her to shout at him, just saying I totally understand her mama bear rage)

“blah blah blah Disney selling your values back to you, yadda yadda rainbow capitalism, what the fuck ever, I don’t fucking care anymore”

This is where it becomes blatant that this review was written by a white man. Turning Red is important because it’s the first time a woman (a woman of colour too, no less) was able to direct a Pixar movie and not have that credit stripped from her and given to a man (ahem, Brave). It’s the first time a girl of colour has stepped into the spotlight in a Pixar movie. It’s the first time in God knows who long that I’ve watched a movie about a girl and really felt like it was truly about a girl. So many girls and women, of colour or not, felt seen by this movie, and it’s coming from Pixar, a company that previously had staggeringly poor treatment of women and POC. If this movie is not proof of how far Pixar has come, and isn’t a goddamn accomplishment, then I don’t know what is. 

Braceface is irrelevant because that show has nothing at all to do with Turning Red besides the two shows both starring teenage girls in early 2000s Canada. Turning Red talking about periods is just as important as Braceface talking about periods, because in case you couldn’t tell from the backlash this movie got, periods (and female puberty in general) are still something that a lot of people feel shame about, and it absolutely must be normalized. By the way, a lot of episodes of Braceface (not the one mentioned in the review, but a lot of others and even the entire third season), as well as a few episodes of 6teen, which started airing a few years later, were banned in the US because they talked about heavier subjects (which included elements of female puberty, adolescence, and yes, periods), so your point about being “dArInG” is also irrelevant, because when cartoons in that time period tried to “be daring” (a.k.a be realistic to a teenager’s life), they were very quickly shut down, or at least received major controversy.

This entire video was a disaster. It’s truly broken me. Turning Red was not the most perfect movie ever, but god DAMN I feel sorry for Domee Shi and her crew for having to put up with all of the shit their work has been receiving.

Thank you and good night. I’ll be jamming to 4*Town in the corner, if you don’t mind.

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#237

This is a direct follow up to Story #168.

“You Caleb? I’m Scott’s dad… Well this is awkward. I wasn’t expecting you to be this early. I figured that your bus would arrive at the station across the street at the hour. At least I think that was what I told my son I would pick you up. Oh well. Let’s get your stuff in my car right here. Even though there’s hardly anyone around we can talk with more privacy while I drive….

“You just have the back pack? OK, get in. Your side should be unlocked. Good…. You don’t have to thank me for picking you up. Of course I don’t mind taking you to Scott’s apartment. I only live not even two minutes from here. It’s really no problem on my part. What else do I have to do on a Saturday morning? Other than looking for a blowjob in that park bathroom….

“Oh, you can drop the coy shit thing, no one but you and me in here. Not five minutes ago you held my cock in your hand long stroking it while it was getting hard. You were getting amazed at its size, but then you didn’t have time to play because you were meeting someone—which turned out to be me. So I have a question, do you want to go back to my place a few minutes away and we can have some fun, or do you want to pretend that you didn’t want to throat me, pretend it didn’t happen, and then go to Scott’s place to wait for him to get off work later tonight?

“Here let me take out my dick for you to consider. You were captivated by it at the urinals. The windows are tinted for a reason. Now you can look at it without worry someone will walk in or catch you. Since you haven’t complained, I’ll just assume you are ok with going back to my place. Don’t worry, I live alone and I have no nosy neighbors. It’s so private that I don’t wear any clothes when I’m at home….

“You know, I would love for you to be naked too. Later on, we could have fun in my pool. Keep licking those lips. Why don’t you reach over and play with my cock while we go the few more blocks. See you have me leaking. Rub your finger in it; get it covered. Fuck yeah. You’re transfixed all right. I like that. I also like that you haven’t once tried to play with your pecker. My cock is all that matters here.

“Have you ever sucked cock before? Figured. Taste my leak. Like that? Heh, heh. That pre-cum slime, it’s like a drug; isn’t it? You’ve tasted it before? You a bathroom whore?… Of course you are. Now, there’s nothing wrong with being a whore, a slut, a tramp, a pussy, a bitch, a cunt, or whatever. You are just living up to what you are meant to be.

“You are what, 19? It’s great you know your role so early. Real men need mouths and asses like yours ready to use. I assume you’ve taken it up your shitter? Not that often? Understandable in a cruise toilet situation.

“I’ve been going to that toilet for blowjobs or asses to fuck for years now. All I have to do is take out my 8-and-a-halfer and two or three fags fight over it. Since my divorce and Scott moving out, it’s real convenient to bring the fag boys back home a few blocks away for more private fun, including pussy pounding….

“My house is that one over there on the corner. Once in the garage, we’ll go ahead and strip. There’s a workbench you can put your clothing on, and you can leave your pack in the car…

“OK the garage door is closed. Get out and strip. I want to see that ass of yours. You naturally follow orders. Keep that shit up. Hey, that’s a tiny dicklet. Don’t hide it. I like tiny dicks. You know what my favorite thing to do to tiny dicks? Ignore them. They are best when they are ignored and ignored by you as well. Trust me, my cock will be the focus here.

“Now show me that ass. Bend over. I want to see that pussy hole. I can’t wait to have my dick buried to the root in there. I am so going to make that pussy into a cunt. You know the difference? No. A pussy is a hole that a man has feelings towards, and a cunt is a hole to be used as an object to exploit for pleasure. And this hole of yours is itching to be used like that. I can just tell.

“You want to be used by men don’t you? Big men like me? Thought so. You want a man, a real man, to take you and make you an object of pleasure? Follow me faggot. Yeah, you know you are. Don’t you? Your cock-lette tells you every day that you are never going to be a man.

“Come with me past the pool to my work shed. I built it to separate my play from the rest of the house. It’s soundproof and full of toys. Don’t worry, we are not going to use them all right now. Some we might. That’s a sling over there. I’ll probably have you in it when I cunt you.

“That’s a rimseat. Have you ever eaten ass before? No?! You mean I have a rimming virgin? Have anyone stuck their tongue in your hole? So you know then that it is a wonderful feeling. You will be doing that to me.

“In fact, I just got this device from Germany last month and I haven’t tried it out on anyone. You’ll break it in with me. It’s not much, just a plank for you to lie on. Go ahead and put the center of your back on the plank. Where it narrows is where your head goes. It’s kinda weird, I know. Go on lie back.

“The designer suggested securing your torso down to the plank to prevent you from falling out. So I’m going to put this belt across your chest. This is a small cunt plug. It’s long but not that thick. It goes in like this. It’s there to prevent your ass from sliding off. There are handles for you grip along side and under the plank. Yeah just hold on to them,… then I can easily secure the wrist cuffs on you. Now you ain’t going anywhere.

“The way this works is that I straddle your head. Hey you get to look at my cock and balls from below, my ass crack too. Did I mention that the plank is motorized. Yeah it’s going to lift you up, and your face will be forced into my ass crack, with your mouth lining up perfectly with my sweaty shithole. And you are going to clean that shithole. It is one of your jobs here over the next few days.

“Yeah, I should fill you in, you ain’t going anywhere. Scott doesn’t care about you staying with him until your dorm opens up. In fact Scott is pretty much doesn’t care about you. He’s mostly done with your friendship. See I pay for his car and his apartment on one condition, he sends me barely legal boys he meets on campus to turn into cock hungry cunts.

“Yeah, this was all a set up. He befriended you, as he know you are my type. He told me all about when you came out to him, and subsequently telling him that you are a glory hole queen. You thought he was a totally hip straight guy, when in fact he was taking notes. So when we were setting you up, I had him tell you to meet me at the park, knowing that bathroom was too tempting for cruise tramp like yourself.

“Fuck, you were too easy. Now before your tongue reaches my hole I want you to look kinda above your head at my work table. Notice the yellow box? Well next to it is the webcam keep looking into it as your face makes its last few inches before it becomes my seat, with my shithole strangling your tongue. Do a good job, or else that electrified butt plug I put in your cunt is going to deliver one hell of a shock.”

[kohanayaki]

.:Time and Time Again:. (Marauders Era x Reader) Ch 7

Severus looks back on everything that went wrong.

tw: non-consensual kissing/harassment, trauma responses

LINKS:   CH 1   CH 2    CH 3   CH 4   CH 5   CH 6   CH 7   CH 8

________________________________________________________

Ch 7 .:Things Unforgivable and Things Left Unsaid:.

Graduation day at Hogwarts was supposed to mark the beginning of a new adventure for you. Instead, it marked the day you decided that whatever it was between you and Severus Snape, friendship or otherwise, it was over.

Or at least that's what you had thought. Of course, the universe just loved making things more complicated for you. You were working with Charlie in Romania when you had gotten word that Severus defected from the death eaters and was now working as a double agent at Dumbledore's behest. He continued teaching Potions at Hogwarts, and was even indited as a member of the Order. If anything, that only solidified your decision to go to America instead of staying in London. You didn't even know what to think. Of course you trusted Dumbledore, confusing as the man was, but you didn't know if you could really trust Snape again. You had worked towards forgiving him; over time you moved past what happened, but it was difficult to really say it was 'resolved' when you quite literally haven't spoken a word to each other in over a decade. You didn't even know where to start.

For the entirety of your seventh year, you didn't speak a word to Severus. It was hard to imagine that such a tight knit trio like the one you, him, and Lily had formed could crumble in an instant, but that's exactly what happened.

The end of your sixth year at Hogwarts was a quarter Snape would never forget, no matter how hard he tried. It was when everything fell apart. . .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   1976  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“James!” you yelled, running to the top of the hill where he and the rest of the Marauders had Snape held upside down.

“What are you doing?” you said, immensely hurt and trying to keep your voice steady, “You said this would stop, you promised. . . you swore.”

“(Y/n), I. . .” James trailed off, immediately feeling guilty. As he turned to you Snape dropped to the ground, attempting to scramble to his feet but finding his ankle twisted.

Sirius moved towards you to say something but you put your hand up firmly.

“No,” you said, “not a word out of you, Black.”

Sirius stared at you, wide-eyed, shrinking back as you called him by his last name for the first time in a long while. Not Sirius, not Pads. Black. As if your whole friendship had just been reset.

“And you two,” you said, addressing Remus and Peter, “how could you let this happen?!”

All four boys looked at you in shame, none of them daring to verbally respond.

Suddenly, Lily came running up the hill, having fallen behind you in your quick pace.

“Severus!” she panted, rushing over to him, “are you alright?”

Snape was in an angered daze, not even registering the words being said around him. The blood rushing through his veins felt like lava, his heart pounding in his ears, his chest, his tongue. His face burned with humiliation and hatred. Pure fucking hatred for James Fleamont Potter. For Lily to see him like that. . . for you to see him like that, pathetic, helpless, in need of your help once again. He wouldn't have it. He was a master of the dark arts now, he didn't have to fucking take this. He would curse Potter into the next century, he would—

“Severus!”

Snape's eyes snapped open, not even realizing they were closed. The world came rushing in around him and he was suddenly acutely aware of Lily's hand on his arm. He reeled back at her touch as if he'd been burned.

“Don't touch me!” he screeched, startling the redheaded girl. Her eyes were filled with concern, but all Snape could see was pity.

“Sev—“

“I don't need any help from you, you filthy Mudblood!”

And everyone in the clearing stilled.

The color drained from Snape's already pale face as he realized what he'd just said.

“Lily. . .” Severus whispered; pleading, desperate.

“Don't come any closer,” Lily said, her voice stone cold as tears welled up in her eyes.

“I'll kill you,” James said lowly.

“Prongs, no—”

“I'll kill you, you slimy bastard!” James growled, Remus moving quickly to hold him back.

You stood in the middle of it all, staring at Severus. Severus, who'd always told Lily that blood status didn't matter. Severus, who you and Lily always stood up for no matter what. Severus, who you thought you had feelings for up until this exact moment.

Without even thinking you stepped forward, grabbing Lily's hand.

“Let's go, Lils,” you said, your expression unreadable as you looked down at Severus. Lily squeezed your hand back gratefully, fighting the sobs racking her chest as she turned around and took off with you.

“(Y/n), wait—” Snape tried to get up but found himself shoved back down to the ground by Sirius.

“No,” he said sharply, “you don't get to say anything to either of them, you hear me?”

“I—”

“What?” James spat, “you're sorry? Well sorry doesn't cut it! You say a word to her after what you called her and you'll wish you'd never have been born.”

Snape's head hung low, that wish already present in his mind.

“Leave him,” Remus said, this time not out of mercy, but malice; letting Snape wallow in his own misery as he left with his friends, looking for you and Lily.

Soon, Severus was left alone. Just as he began, and just as he should have never hoped for anything different. Was this it? That's how it was going to end? One mistake, and the only two people he'd ever cared about were ripped away from him.

No. He decided he had to apologize properly, consequences be damned. If those Marauders wanted to beat him to a bloody pulp afterwards, that was fine by him. He just needed to talk to Lily one more time. To tell her how deeply sorry he really was.

He took off down the hill, sprinting towards the castle and completely ignoring the burning pain in his ankle. He rushed through the grass, ignoring the looks he received from the other students walking by. He ran past the oak tree, through the castle gates, flying through the corridors and cutting across the courtyard when he skid to a stop at what he saw.

Lily and James stood in the center of the garden, her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer as his lips captured hers. Her eyes were still wet with tears, the tears that he had caused. Severus didn't do a thing. His presence remained unknown to them as he slunk away back to his common room, heart silently breaking.

He was too late.

Nothing was the same after that.

Lily insisted that if you wanted to remain friends with Snape, as she now referred to him, she wouldn't hold it against you, but she made it very clear that she would never forgive him herself. But it wasn't as easy as wanting to stay friends with him or not; he'd changed that day.

After some time to let things settle down you tried to approach him, but he only became more and more hostile towards everyone, including you. You hardly saw him anymore. The only time you occasionally spotted him was when he was walking around school with Malfoy, Mulciber, Wilkes, and Avery, unable to look you in the eye lest you see the utterly crushed expression on your face as he fell deeper and deeper into the dark side.

You held your books tightly to your chest as you made your way to Hagrid's hut for one of your last Care of Magical Creatures class. You were being paired up with a few lower classmen to teach them the ropes for feeding all the creatures Hagrid kept in the meadows. You were a tad late, having been preoccupied at lunch, speedwalking to try and arrive on time when you saw a flash of silver-blue light emit from inside the forest. You could hear warbled shouting and laughter coming from the same direction, and your instincts told you to run.

However, because your nerves were on high alert, that also told you someone in there was in danger, and you couldn't just walk away from that. You drew your wand, abandoning your books by a rockface and moving towards the commotion, the distorted shouting soon becoming words.

“Oh come on, you little runts, you lot can do better than that!” you recognized Mulciber's voice.

A young girl shrieked as a giant acromantula barred its fangs at her, its front legs raised and poised to attack. Her friends were huddled in a corner, more students who couldn't have been older than second or third years, being forced to watch by Avery and Wilkes.

“How's this for Care of Magical Creatures, eh?” Mulciber taunted as he walked over to the other students, pulling a young boy out from the group.

“No!” the girl cornered by the spider cried, “please, don't!”

“Aw, how cute,” Mulciber drawled, “is this your little boyfriend, huh? Shame.”

The boy screamed in fear as he was suddenly lifted into the air by his ankles, forced to hover right above the spider just out of its reach. You wanted to wretch as you watched the scene unfold, unable to keep yourself hidden any longer.

You leaped into the clearing, a quick flick of your wrist relieving Mulciber of his wand. You did the same to Wilkes as he turned to you.

“Well well, why am I not surprised?” Avery scoffed. Right behind him stood Severus, his expression vacant.

“Grab this, and get to Professor McGonagall immediately,” you shouted to the younger Gryffindor students, tossing them a gold galleon. As soon as they touched the coin, the portkey shot them all back to the castle.

“Why are you always the one spoiling our fun?” Mulciber sneered.

“Someone's gotta do it,” you said, putting up a brave front although you were under no illusion as to your situation. You weren't fourth years anymore, and you were alone this time. They'd been studying the dark arts for the past two years. You knew you were outmatched, even with your dueling skills.

“Oh, come on, (Y/n), don't be a bore.”

You turned around at the sound of the familiar voice to see Rosier, an easy grin set into his face. Your heart dropped.

“So you too, huh?” you chuckled bitterly, “and here I thought you were one of the few good ones left.”

“You're not really that naive, are you?” he tutted, “you had to have known I would be inducted eventually. Might even get Barty to join us, even if he is a little nutty.”

You went for a stunning spell but found your wand spinning out of your hand before you even saw him move.

“Not so fun to be on the receiving end, is it?” Rosier said, “you're not the only one versed in non-verbal magic, (Y/n). In fact, I'd even go so far as to say we've surpassed you. Lucius will be furious, but I like you a lot, so I'll re-extend his old offer for him. Join us.”

You had no wand, no backup, no way out of this, but you stood your ground nonetheless.

“Eat shit,” you seethed. Rosier glowered at you, taking a few menacing steps forward. He grabbed your jaw firmly and you grit your teeth.

“I don’t think you heard me—”

He reeled back as you spit right in his face,

“You bitch,” he growled, wiping his face in disgust, “clearly no one ever bothered to train you.”

Without your wand you were really only left with one option, ready to defend yourself by revealing your animagus form, but you never got to take the first step forward.

“Imperio!”

You stopped in your tracks as a veil of what could only be described as pink fluff drifted over your mind. A smile immediately appeared on your face, and a giggle rose in your throat.

Severus looked at Rosier with horror, the rest of his crew looking among themselves uneasily.

“What do you think you're doing?” Snape hissed, “are you trying to get us all expelled?”

“So what?” Rosier said, “we've used the killing curse loads of times.”

“On insects, you loon,” Snape shot back, hoping his concern for you was masked enough.

“Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt your precious (Y/n), Sev.”

The nickname made his stomach churn. You used to call him that. Lily used to call him that. No one else did. No one else got to.

“Release them,” he said, raising his wand, “now.”

“Put that away,” Rosier's eyes narrowed, a smirk sliding back onto his face as he got an idea, “hey, (Y/n)?”

“Yes?” you answered, your voice dripping with honey.

“I don't think Severus likes you being under this spell,” Rosier said, “but you like it don't you?”

“Mmm hmm,” you nodded, your head feeling like it was floating, “it feels so nice.”

“You know what else would feel nice?” Rosier goaded, “if you gave our friend Sev here a kiss.”

Severus' heart dropped to his stomach.

“You're sick, Rosier,” Snape said, his voice close to tremmoring.

“You don't have to act like you don't want it,” Evan chuckled, “we've watched you putz around (L/n) like a fool for years. Besides, they want to. Isn't that right, (Y/n)?”

“He's right,” you said, your voice deceptively melodic, “I love you, Severus. I've always loved you.”

And in that moment, Snape had never hated himself more. Because he didn't care that Rosier was making you say the things you did. He didn't care that you were under the influence of a curse. All he could hear was the words he longed to hear spill from your lips, over and over like a skipping record.

I love you, Severus. I love you, Severus. I love you, Severus.

He played the words on repeat in his head. His heart was beating almost painfully in his chest, so much so that he hardly even noticed you slowly walking towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck like Lily had done to James. And when you leaned forward to kiss him, his selfish desires held him in place.

It had lasted a fraction of a second, but he didn't pull away. It was the greatest regret of his life that he didn't walk up to Rosier, break his nose, and curse every single person in that clearing instead of doing nothing, knowing full well you had no control over your actions.

When his eyes drifted open and met yours and his stomach twisted into ugly knots, fear and panic wracking through his spine. Your eyes were completely empty, irises a vacant white, and in that moment it felt as if he were kissing a corpse.

Suddenly the color returned to your eyes, and fear immediately filled them. Snape grunted as he was shot away from you, unable to move when he hit the ground. The other Slytherins looked around for the assailant, but they had no time to react when every single one of their wands was pulled from their hands. McGonagall stood there, expression the same as ever but clearly brimming with fury.

“(L/n), come,” she said, ushering you over and taking you protectively in her embrace, “we'll get you to Madame Pomfrey.” Her eyes narrowed dangerously as she regarded Snape and the rest of their group, “As for you,” she said, “Mr Filch, secure them in the dungeons until the Headmaster calls for them. And put all of their wands in the lockbox.”

“With pleasure,” Filch said, almost blending in with the trees behind her.

“Are you alright?” McGonagall asked you as she helped you back towards the castle.

“No,” you said, honestly, “n-no, I don't think I am.”

“No amount of apology could ever equate to the remorse I feel that this happened to you, (L/n),” she said earnestly, “I am truly sorry. This was completely unacceptable, and I will see to it that the proper measures are taken for their punishments. Expulsion would suit just fine, but even if the Headmaster disagrees, I will personally ensure you never come into contact with any of those boys again.”

“Thank you,” you said, your voice sounding hollow in your own ears.

You didn't remember walking the near half-mile to the infirmary. Madame Pomfrey's words felt so far away, as if she were speaking underwater. You just remembered laying down in the hospital wing bed as she checked you for any lasting damage, and as soon as she'd turned her back you'd just wept.

________________________________________________________

That night, Snape found himself in the Prefect's bathroom, leaned over the sink and watching the water rush into the drain. His hands clutched the marble sides of the basin so hard his knuckles turned white, every breath catching painfully in his chest before he forced it out to take another shaky inhale. He was an idiot, he knew. There was no fixing this. Not really. First Lily, now you. Was he just predestined to lose everyone in his life?

He paused. No, he didn't deserve to think like that. Everything that had gone wrong was his own doing.

When he heard the door to the bathroom open he whipped around, ready to curse whoever dared to interrupt him until he saw you standing there, your eyes red from crying and the Marauder's Map clutched in your hands like a vice. He was half certain you were a hallucination, but as soon as he pulled himself to the present, he rushed to apologize. You had to know how horrible he felt about what he did, even if you would never forgive him. He made the mistake of being too cowardly to properly apologize to Lily, he wouldn't make that mistake again.

“(Y/n), I'm—”

“I know you're sorry,” you said callously, “and I know you mean it. That's not the issue.” you took a breath to collect yourself before you continued. This was so much harder than you thought it would be. Maybe this wound really was too fresh right now. You thought you'd be able to handle this conversation, but your prior feelings weren't making this any easier.

“Why did you do it?” you asked quietly, “Better, why did you do nothing? You were my friend, Severus.”

Whatever was holding back the flood of emotions in him, it snapped at your words.

Were. Past tense.

“I don't know what I was thinking,” Snape said in exasperation, though it came off more as anger directed at himself. His hands threaded through his messy black locks, his eyes nearly manic. You'd never seen him unravel quite like this. He was desperate to fix this, to keep you in his life. “No, I wasn't thinking at all, (Y/n). I couldn't, not when you were . . . not when I. . .”

Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it—

“Not when I've fancied you for years.”

Snape knew immediately that he had made a mistake. The expression on your face made his stomach twist, and he knew there was no taking back what he said.

“No,” you said, tears welling in your eyes, “Severus Snape, don't you dare say that. What, do you think that just makes this all okay? You're an oblivious idiot, you know that?”

Your heart ached so bad it felt as if you couldn't breathe.

“Do you know how many times I wished you would have kissed me?” you said shakily, not bothering to hide the hurt in your voice.

Snape was sure his breathing had stopped, eyes wide with shock. He couldn't have heard that right. Did you really feel the same way about him? But reality hit him in the face when he saw your expression. This was no heartfelt confession on your part.

“For you to just. . . for it to happen like that,” you said, still struck with betrayal and disbelief, “If you've ever respected me, you never would have let that happen. I was under a curse, Severus. And you took advantage of that— of me. All because you were too much of a coward to just tell me how you felt. And then you go on and say you've liked me this whole time as a last ditch effort to save our friendship? How the hell did you expect me to react?”

He had nothing to say to that. He blamed himself entirely. Every verbal blow you struck he gladly took, he would have sat there still as stone if you hexed him, but you refused to draw your wand at him. You just stood there, staring straight through him with unbelievable hurt in your eyes.

“I can't do this, Severus,” you said, “please, just. . . just leave me alone. I'm not saying I'll never forgive you, but right now I can't even begin to think about that. Not now.”

You looked like you wanted to say something more, but your mouth snapped shut, and Severus saw the finality in your eyes. He stayed glued to the spot where he stood long after he watched you leave, his eyes trained on the door you'd slammed shut.

If you thought Snape had made himself scarce after what he said to Lily, after what he did to you he practically vanished. He no longer sat underneath the tree that had become so symbolic of your former trio. He no longer roamed the Slytherin common room, or even the Great Hall for meals. Instead he would walk through the forbidden forest alone, or hole up in some empty corridor purposely hiding but hoping you would walk up to him. You never did.

The people who did find him in the few days that followed were the newly named Marauders, though incomplete as they arrived without you. As he glanced down at the parchment in Lupin's hand he had no questions about how they'd located him. Snape grimaced, not bothering to get up from his seat beneath the stone pillar. Anything they did to him was what he deserved.

James stepped forward from the group first. His expression was unreadable, but Snape saw the way his jaw was set firmly in place, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. The Slytherin had expected Potter to come at him guns blazing, sending a flurry of verbal attacks and hexes his way. However, James Potter simply stared down at his former enemy with a look that met in the intersection of barely contained anger and utter disappointment.

“You didn't deserve them,” he said coldly, his voice oddly level.

“I know,” Snape glared, but not feeling very self-righteous.

“No, you don't,” James said, his voice rising steadily, “you will never know what you put them through. You sat there while your lunatic friends used an Unforgivable Curse on them, and you took advantage of them. I don't care if you know, I'm going to throw it back in your face, because it's what you deserve.”

“I think it's clear that (Y/n) doesn't wish to speak with you any longer,” Remus said, “if for some inconceivable reason they want to in the future, they'll approach you. Don't you even think about going about it the other way around before they're ready and willing to talk. If they ever are.”

“It's settled, Severus,” James said simply, “you're officially not worth our time anymore.”

Snape blinked up at him, trying to recall a time when Potter had ever called him by his actual name.

“Don't get us wrong,” Sirius glared, “the only reason we aren't throwing you to the Womping Willow is because we know the last thing (Y/n) would want is her friends getting expelled because of them.”

“We'll leave you alone now,” Peter said grimly, “just like you've always wanted.”

And they were telling the truth. They left him completely alone, not speaking a word to him after that; 'they' now including you and Lily, which destroyed him more than any amount of bullying had before. He watched from afar as you grew closer and closer to the Marauders. . . no, you were a Marauder. It was only natural that you became almost like a family in your seventh year. You, James, Peter, Sirius, Remus, and Lily had become as inseparable as Snape thought you, him, and Lily were, but he'd ruined that. He had ruined every good thing that had ever happened to him and pushed away every important person in his life.

The last time he saw you was graduation day. Everyone was running around excitedly, dressed in the ceremonial jewel-toned robes of their respective houses as they awaited Dumbledore's speech. You had been sitting with your group as usual, now having carved out your own spot at the Gryffindor table, when you noticed that Snape was nowhere to be found.

You frowned, wondering why he of all people had to slip into your mind on a day like today.

“You alright, Fangs?”

Sirius' voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah, I'm fine. . .”

His handsome features contorted in concern, but that easy grin slid back onto his face as he nudged you with his shoulder.

“What, you worried you're gonna miss us?” he smirked, “this isn't goodbye, you know. We'll all see each other at the Order meetings—”

“Which you always seem to talk about at an extraordinary volume,” Remus shushed him pointedly. Sirius brushed him off with a roll of his eyes.

“(Y/n), are you sure nothing's wrong?” James asked from across the table.

“I'm alright, Prongs,” you said, “I just. . . you know what? I just remembered I left something in my dorm, I'll be right back.”

Your friends exchanged worried glances as you got up from the table, taking off towards the Slytherin common room. It wasn't a total lie, but your intentions went against your better judgment. After today there was a very, very good chance you would never see Severus again. What he did wasn't okay by any means, and it would take more than an apology or a simple conversation to forgive him, but you needed closure at the very least. Not for him, but for you. You deserved that much.

You swiped the map off your bedside table and opened it fully, your eyes quickly picking out Severus' name near the cellars only a few rooms away from where you were. You took off quickly down the hall, reaching the intersection where all the dungeon's corridors converged when you spotted him. Your heart stopped.

His left sleeve was rolled up to his elbow, as was the person's standing across from him, their back to you. Even though you couldn't see the second person's face, you recognized who it was immediately.

Evan Rosier.

He wasn't on the map before. . . how had he gotten in?! He'd been expelled after the day he cursed you. Did he somehow find a way to bypass the anti-apparition charm?

You felt your breathing hitch, fear creeping under your skin. There, on both of their arms, was a tattoo of a skull, a serpent weaving its way through the mouth and eye sockets in an undeniable pattern.  You stopped breathing all together. You knew Severus had fallen into the dark arts, but to actually be a death eater? To be proudly showing off that awful display of radicalism along with the person who had used an Unforgivable Curse on you, who had invaded your free will and taken over your body. . .

Severus must have felt you even from the opposite side of the hallway, because something pricking at his skin told him to look up, and when he did he wished he never had. You were looking at him for the first time in over a year, your eyes full of terror. Rosier followed his gaze, but when he looked over his shoulder there was no one there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Severus sighed, trying to push the less than pleasant memories out of his head. He knew by now he was likely the last person left in the house besides you, Harry, and Sirius who were all staying here. Something like hope had sparked in his chest when he saw the faintest ghost of a smile on your lips as you saw him for the first time since graduation. He wanted to talk to you, to tell you he knew he deserved nothing from you, but he would spend the rest of his life trying to make it right if you would only give him a chance after all this time. In truth, he missed his friend. With Lily gone, you were one of the closest things he had to that left.

Against his better judgment, Severus made his way up the stairs, silent as a thestral as he headed for your room, but he stopped in his tracks when he reached the top. Sirius' door was cracked open the slightest bit, and what Snape saw inside made his blood run cold. You were sitting next to Sirius on his bed, your head resting gently on his shoulder. As you craned your neck to look Sirius in the eyes, that's when Severus saw it— the way the Marauder looked at you. The way his face seemed to light up, the spark that returned to his gray eyes, the utter adoration in them.

And just like that, Snape was a seventeen year old boy again, transported right back to that courtyard garden, watching Lily and James share their first kiss on the day he had made one of the biggest mistakes of his life. His heart shattered silently, though his departure was not so quiet as he took off down the stairs as quickly as he could. He grimaced at his own feelings, ones he knew he had no business owning.

As he was about to open the front door to leave, his instincts suddenly screamed at him to turn around, and he was just barely able to cast an invisibility charm as you began to come down the stairs. He held his breath as he looked at you. He knew he had no right to think so, but you were still beautiful like this; dressed in pajamas, hair disheveled, eyes still sightly puffy and red. He saw you look around, knowing you had no doubt heard his rather noisy descent of the staircase, and he cursed himself for not leaving sooner. Your eyes searched what should have appeared to be the empty space in front of you, but he saw you look him in the eyes, and he knew that you knew.

“Severus?” you called his name out softly, and the sound felt like a strike to his face.

He wanted nothing more than to say something to you, talk to you, hold you. But his mind flashed back to the way you had been with Sirius, and his words died in his throat. He said nothing, trying to remain unphased at your hurt expression as you turned around to walk back up the stairs. As soon as your back was turned to him, he left, unable to bring himself to do anything more.

Once again, he was too late.

Read chapter 8 here!

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