#that and her justifying weird shit her buddies do and people coming out saying she is abusive

[will-pilled]

Just saw someone post "an article debunking all viv allegations" and it was shit hardly anyone is mad about anymore and they were like "oh it was a long time ago so it's fine."

[ghost0loxer]

Imagine, a gender fluid teenager like myself has a favourite/feel-good film and that film is “Just One of the Guys,”from the mid 80s.

Picture this: theatre class, we watch “She’s The Man”, a dreamworks film from the 2000s. And yet, the social justice issues within the film are glaringly obvious to today’s society. Don’t get me wrong, it can be a funny film in a group setting - but then there are scenes that are just uncomfortable. Now, we discussed these themes in class, but I just can’t help but think about the film that came before it. Yes, StM (she’s the mans) is a modern day adaption of Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” but I was thinking about the modern day adaption before StM, “Just One of the Guys” from the mid 80s.

I love this film. For multiple reasons, which I hope to discuss.

Number one, our main character. Terry Griffith is stubborn. If she thinks something is right, she won’t let anyone say no or get in her way. Now in some cases, this is great. It’s definitely a shift in the usual romantic comedy female lead (especially for the 80s). But it’s one of her biggest flaws. In the beginning, Terry doesn’t win a contest for a part-time job at the Sun Tribune. She believes her article was amazing, but she speaks with her English teacher and he gives it to her straight. “You don’t have what it takes to be a reporter.” Her article is boring; it’s about the nutritional value of the lunch menu in the school cafeteria, of course it’s boring. But the words her teacher tells her has her convinced it’s because she’s a woman. Thus, she leaves school for two weeks and transfers as a buy to another school who are holding the same competition. Once she gives her article, she is told almost the same thing, but this time, she’s given proper feedback to improve it. Of course, there was some irony with this scene between Terry and the teacher. “Just because you’re guy, doesn’t mean you can’t be sensitive or light.” Thing is, she doesn’t give up, she strives to fix it and finds a new angle. I love her determination, I love the way she doesn’t let others push her around. Furthermore, her transition to a man. In StM, Viola as a guy is made to be cringey and comedic, you watch and think, there’s no way a guy would do that. But Terry, having grown up with a younger brother and is actually smart, manages to nail the role. Sure, she has slip-ups, but she stays afloat and she’s not being over the top. She’s chill and convincing, yet you as the audience can tell she’s trying to appear masculine. Her lines are witty and she’s sharp. Someone has something to say, she’ll be able to backtrack and answer with a joke or sarcasm quickly. I like smart characters.

Another point, the way women are written in this film. A lot of women in this film are treated like shit, but it’s probably a realistic depiction of the 80s. Everyone is talking about dating and sex, it seems to be the only topic the women in this film speak about, unless they are Terry. Terry seems to be the only character in this film whose main goal is not romance or sex. She strives to be a reporter, she wants to prove herself, and she rejects the advances upon her frequently. Whether it’s the boys asking her on dates in halls, or her own boyfriend attempting to seduce her when her parents aren’t home, she doesn’t put them above herself, yet she still lets them down easily, unless they become more pushy (case in point, her boyfriend, Kevin, in the beginning). She can stand up for herself, but she’s not the only one. Her best friend, Denise is one of the many women looking for love, nevertheless, she holds standards. I will admit, I didn’t like Denise’s acting in the beginning; she’s not a great character, but even she manages to reject men’s advances constantly. She’s not afraid to say it bluntly and she expresses her true emotions when certain guys try to ask her out. She tells it to them straight, and I respect her for that (despite her lack of empathy for some). Terry’s brother is constantly hitting on Denise, but she stands her ground. She doesn’t hit him or curse him out, she spins words around him and always lead back to the key word “no.”

This is my third, and maybe final point, (because I’m not great at writing but I’m starting to get tired) the way they handle sexual orientation. It seems if you’re going to make a film about a cross-dressing woman who falls in love with a man, you have to discuss sexuality and this film is not afraid to. That was my biggest beef with StM, when Viola confessed her love to Duke, the made it blatantly clear that it was “weird” and “unusual”; the editing and music cuts. It was done for comedic purposes, but in that moment, it just made me cringe. Even when the principal marched onto the field during the big match to expose Sebastian as “the woman he was all along,” he used a big megaphone and said to the whole crowd this man is in fact a girl. If it were to happen in the real world, and this character was a trans male, that would be traumatizing and so so insensitive. I couldn’t help thinking the way they handled the reveal in StM was poor and shitty.

But with JOotG (just one of the guys)? It’s done respectfully. Throughout the film, Buddy, Terry’s younger, sex-obsessed brother (I have thoughts on this character), often refers to Terry as a transvestite or sexually confused. They make references about her dating other women and jokes. It’s not treated like taboo, but just something people normally talk about, and as a questioning kid when I first watched the film, I really needed that. Although it was used for jokes, the fact that it wasn’t treated like a silent topic made me think more of it and discover who I was; it was media like this that made me accept myself.

Even with the reveal. Kevin, Terry’s boyfriend (or ex boyfriend by the end), stomps up to Terry after she’s wrestled with the school bully and was dumped into the waves at prom. Rick, who’s been Terry’s friend (and is the male lead) throughout her time at his high school, immediately questions who Kevin is and he responds with a harsh and sure “Terry’s boyfriend.” Of course, that doesn’t expose Terry as female, but makes Rick assume she’s a homosexual. But instead of calling her weird or replying negatively, he answers Kevin’s question calmly and says he’s just a friend. There is no prejudice, no disgust, Rick is shocked, but that’s expected. Furthermore, this reveal not only does not alienate homosexuality, it puts the center of focus on the main characters rather than have the whole audience/prom witness this exchange. Sure, the rest of the school is watching but the camera never pans over to them, and even then, Terry drags Rick away from the crowds to a secluded area to explain more.

Even once they’re secluded, Rick doesn’t yell at her or is homophobic. He just says “I understand, you’re gay.” As we know, Terry is not in fact gay and she reveals this to him in a similar fashion as StM, at least it’s not flashing a whole crowd. But the thing that hits me, is the fact that it’s not used as a joke or for comedy. Throughout the film, they’ve mentioned homosexuality and being transgender, but it was used as a light-hearted joke (nothing insulting or derogatory). In this moment, it’s not a joke, and it’s the bare minimum for a emotional scene like this, but it always hits me.

Of course, Rick gets justifiably mad that he’s been deceived and he storms off. Terry’s flaw catches up to her here, as she kisses him in front of the prom guests, stubborn to make him realize how much she cares. ( I didn’t agree with this action to be frank, I cringed ). The crowd gasps and it’s the usual reaction to a homosexual kiss and Rick just pulls back, says “It’s alright everyone, he’s got tits,” and leaves with Deborah.

In true romantic comedy fashion, life moves on. Terry gets the job at the Sun-Tribune after writing her article about posing as a guy and everyone who was longing for love in the beginning has found it, except Terry. The ending, however, is Rick coming back for her after a couple (days? Weeks? Idk all I know is it’s summer by the time he comes back, how much space between prom and summer?) and they kiss, go on a date and all is good.

Now after writing this long ass post, I’ve come to realize the main reason I like this film. Sure, Terry is a good character (not morally sometimes, but she’s interesting to watch), the way women are presented also is good, but my main source of affection for this film (in comparison to StM) is the way they handle the switching of genders. I’m gender fluid, I don’t always like being a woman or a man, I switch almost daily and half the time can’t decide if I want to grow out my hair or cut it. Seeing Terry, originally a woman, manage to convince people she was a guy made me wish I could do it too. It made me realize, I don’t always like being a woman. I want to be a guy sometimes, and I want that to be accepted. It was media like this, like Ouran High School Host Club, like Bare: A Pop Opera, that made me understand my gender and sexuality. (Even media that didn’t have any relation to LGBTQ+ helped).

When I first heard of “She’s the Man”, I had hoped it would be like these pieces of media. And it wasn’t. It was an alright film, but made me feel disappointed and somewhat let down. And that’s why I just prefer Just One of the Guys. Maybe it wouldn’t float in today’s political climate, maybe I’m wrong for seeing these points as reasons it’s one of my favorites, but its still better than StM and is one of my favourite films.

[brazenautomaton]

Fixing Afterlives: The Maw, First Visit

So our Shadowlands journey starts with the Maw. You know what? People hate this scenario now because you can’t skip it and have to go through it on every character, but the first time through, this is actually really good. You’re kicking in the gates of Hell with a platoon of Death Knights and then everything goes tits-up and you don’t have a beachhead and you’re lost and wandering and there are awful, awful things everywhere and you’re hiding and isolated and need to learn how to escape. You just need the option to skip it on your alts.

Plus the aesthetics of the Maw are great. They sell what it is -- the hostile architecture, sinister crystal formations, the way everything seems swept and shaped by a windstream of souls. We’ve seen plenty of environments that look like a Hell of flames. This is a Hell of pure suffering. Pain is what lives here. Pain is all that enters and pain is all that is produced. It’s only after you went farming Stygia for a while that the pain gets inflicted on you.

So we assemble the crew, get the exposition while we put together the Helm of Domination, get given a portal stone to establish a beachhead, and we bust in to find the four captives: Anduin, Jaina, Baine, Thrall. We rally the Death Knights into enough of a formation to make it in and find the evidence of Jaina, and I like that, I like how you track her by the huge formations of ice -- it shows you her power and the mark she leaves. Finding her is mostly the same although her dialogue is less generic and content-free (from now on assume I apply this caveat to all dialogue). She’s more confused and disoriented and even though she’s fighting it’s with a resignation that she knows it won’t work and she’s starting to think she’s only hurting herself by trying. She acts like she has been there for years. But you say you and the DKs are here to save her and she follows against her better judgment and agrees to try and find Thrall, who she struggles to remember, but seems to be trying very hard to be able to remember.

Then the Mawsworn Kyrian show up and laugh about her hopelessness, and you fight them. And they kill the shit out of you. 

More and more and more of them keep coming and they’re level 60 when you’re level 50 and if you do some bullshit to survive eventually one of them will grab you by the neck to Silence you, lift you into the air, and do the ol’ Val’Kyr Special and fatally drop you. You unavoidably die.

This is necessary early to establish what dying in the Shadowlands means. Play a special graphic effect when the player dies, something more drawn out and grasping. Play a sound effect appropriate to race/gender of the PC of them struggling against great pain and gasping. Then you appear next to a Spirit Healer (yes normally in the Maw you just respawn alive so you have to pick up your Stygia like in Dark Souls, we’ll explain the discrepancy later), a Mawsworn Spirit Healer, who says “No. Your suffering will not end. The Maw claims you.” and then starts to chase you the fuck down with a bunch of shades. You need to run, as a ghost, to claw your way back into your body. Obviously, if the shades catch you, you get dragged back to the start and the Spirit Healer fucks with you a bit. 

Your body has been dragged over to the area where Jaina and the rest are hiding; they fled while you were being merced. Jaina sees you stir. And she says “I’m sorry, champion. Death is no respite here. It is so hard to fight the pull… I struggle to even remember my body when I try to return.”

Jaina has been brutally killed over a dozen times. This is not her first rodeo. This is not her first escape attempt. This is not the first time she’s killed that particular Mawsworn tormenter whose name I don’t recall. It doesn’t end. It never ends. She doesn’t know why she tries any more, when she knows it will fail and she will die and suffer and claw her way back to her flesh and every time it gets harder and harder. All it buys her is the ability to offer futile resistance and maybe that isn’t even worth it.

Mood: established.

From there it goes mostly the same. You try to pump the shades for info about how to escape and they don’t know, they can’t know, they can’t even want to escape. The info you get is a memory of spitefully hating someone who fled to the waystone. You rescue your buddies. You see the Jailer fuck up Baine, only instead of giving him a spirit poison, he fucking snaps the dude like a Kit-Kat and drops his lifeless corpse, and you drag it to safety. You don’t need to find a poison dagger to counteract the spirit poison; you need to keep him safe and clear a path for his spirit to flee back to his body. Thus reinforcing what the danger here is and how it’s different and what they fear.

And while you do this, at some point, you run into Sylvanas. Maybe she just walks up to you while you’re all collected around Baine trying to help him revive. Since the Jailer won’t be saying “it’s not like you won anything b-b-baka, it was just a temporary setback,” you need to establish that feeling that he views your victories as completely meaningless. Sylvanas knows you’re here saving Baine. So does the Jailer. It does not matter. You cannot accomplish anything. 

Thrall kills her dead. She just gets back up. She has an escort for her soul to go back to her body. “How many times are you going to try that before you learn it’s futile? Come now, Thrall. I know you’re smarter than this. I know you respected me more than this.”

And then stuff like “How could you do this, Sylvanas? How could you betray the Horde?” Thrall is incredibly angry and offended at her. He thought he knew her. “Neither of us had any illusions you were not a monster, Banshee Queen. But I trusted you anyway because I knew you wanted what was best for your people. You were a monster, but a loyal one. How can you now turn your back on what little principle you had?” Sylvanas is hurt by this, but she doesn’t linger on it.

Jaina, however, is desperately trying to flatter her. Do this to sell the kind of impact this has had on Jaina, and what this suffering drives her to. “Please, Sylvanas. I know you were my enemy but you were an honorable one. It isn’t too late. Someone as cunning as you must know that this will end in ruin. I promise… I promise… I will surrender if you let me return. Kul Tiras will become servants of the Forsaken. Just, just let them live… please, you could rule our world, not slaughter it…”

Jaina breaks down in tears. Yes, she just tried to surrender her people to the enemy for mercy. Jaina is breaking. All of them will. The Maw is a Bad Place and makes them give up hope. That’s how we sell the threat. Not by making the enemies bigger or spikier, showing how they have broken these heroes. Less screaming anger. More pain.

Sylvanas scoffs at her offer. “It doesn’t matter where your people’s loyalty lies, Lord Admiral.” And then she says the phrase that will become a motif: “Nobody escapes the Maw.” She leaves. She doesn’t care what you do. It doesn’t matter.

But you have to still hold on to that sliver of hope that maybe the waystone is a way out. So you get Baine up and you sneak past this big-ass Maw army that can fuck 31 flavors of your day up. The jailer notices you and sends out a force to stop you at the waystone, and he repeats the phrase when he sends out the order: “Nobody escapes the Maw.”

So there’s the event, you fight off the army while the waystone charges, the army gets bigger and bigger, the charge meter gets stuck at 90%, you go to kick it and it teleports you to Oribos.

The mob descends on the other captives. Sylvanas and the Jailer look completely unconcerned with your escape. After having clearly seen you physically leave the Maw, Sylvanas brushes it off with “Nobody escapes the Maw.” Dun-DUNNN! Cutscene end.

You appear in Oribos. The Protectors stop you because you stink like the Maw and what the hell dude, yada yada. This is when you get a tour of the city, here’s the profession trainers, the bank, the transmog. Only secondary details need to be changed here. One, this is an instanced version of the city where no other players exist (you are the first one there, nobody else is). Two, Lich King Bolvar (hashtag #notmylichking) arrives from Azeroth and says SOMETHING to justify other players coming from the Maw but being less important than you. Something like, he saw what you did, there are other adventurers from Azeroth still in the Maw, his DKs are hunkering down in defensive positions and will try to make their way to the Waystone once it cools off because you already activated it, since you are the more special one, and there might be a chance that a couple others might have an echo of your power because they have had similar adventures. You are the True Maw Walker, and the context of the massively multiplayer element is “for your story, all those other guys have shitty Maw Walker powers that only work once you opened the pickle jar for them.” They can’t bring passengers, either.

Third, not the most importantly but yes the most importantly, if you are Forsaken or a Death Knight or Mechagnome or whatever you get a special dialogue where you say “Why do you keep calling me a ‘living mortal’? I’m not alive. I’m undead / a machine / maybe something else like maybe I missed the fact that vulpera are made of rocks and string.”

So Tal-Inara or whoever can be like “Oh, THAT’S what that is. Something was odd about you, mortal, that I couldn’t quite place. I call you ‘living’ because your soul is still tethered to a body. To us in the Shadowlands, to be bound in a vessel like this is far more important than the nature of the vessel itself.” That’s why people keep calling you “living”, to them you’re easy to mistake for one.

Kyrian in the Maw is disturbing news, and also WEIRD, because as Tal-Inara reminds us, “Nobody escapes the Maw.” Why would the Kyrian go down there when they can’t come back? It is terrible but not unheard of for mortals to try and speak to the Jailer but they never GO there because they can’t get out. And yet Sylvanas just walked in there? And he is mustering armies? Better go to Bastion and find out what is up. Let’s crank open this gateway, and...

[doolallymagpie]

Same bat-time as last week, same bat-channel, it’s the ol’ “Doolallymagpie pours his brain out about the new episode of The Expanse”, with 6x04, “Redoubt”!

This episode sure had a lot going on.

Ah, the future wannabe God-Emperor. I’ll admit to booing him a little.

Alright, so Cara’s turning into a grade-school Herbert West. Fun.

And...Sanjrani’s gone right back to doing propaganda for Marco. Oof.

Again, we’re seeing Chrisjen’s growth since season one and two. And I’m very nervous about this strike the MCRN may or may not end up doing.

Monica! She’s still alive! (I mean I saw the BTS pics on Twitter, so I’d been a bit spoiled, but it’s nice to see on screen.)

Bobbie and Amos, singing some of Alex’s music, Bobbie fixing her armor, nice. (also, Wes and Frankie can both sing pretty well, when’s their album drop?)

I...really think Clarissa should’ve brought this up to Holden, not Amos. Or maybe Naomi. But I understand her reasons.

Love seeing the friction in Marco’s inner circle. Not just Filip having second thoughts. Even Rosenfeld’s a bit on the fence.

So we’re back to the gang snipping at each other. Oof.

There’s...several plausible BS explanations for that. And oddly, I’m glad Holden didn’t grab one, because that’s just not who he is. (But let’s be real: it’d freak Marco inside if he knew Holden absolutely chose not to end him there. He’d never show it, but it’d freak him the hell out.)

Filip’s a lot more likeable when he’s not around Marco.

Naomi, sitting in the middle of a hologram of Ring space, figuring things out. Very nice to look at. (Obligatory “steely-eyed missile woman” remark.)

On some level Naomi’s asking Holden to...not be so Holden. And...yeah, maybe he should ease up on those Paragon interrupts.

Filip and his tech buddy found the warhead! This is gonna get interesting.

Neat little makeshift cargo station, love it. And the shot of Drummer and her team coming up on it, very nice. Cinnamon Topography at its finest.

Oh no, Drummer took a hit! OH NO! JOSEP!

Now they’re really glad they couldn’t get Michio off the OH SHIT. OH GOD. GRUESOME. GRUESOME AS FUCK.

And of course, Drummer’s gotta Drummer, when the universe needs a daring pirate queen, it creates her.

So Bobbie’s gonna be the last to find out it wasn’t a dud, huh.

I...can’t actually argue with this, really. I was gonna, but even if it’s 100% justified, killing people fucks you up, psychologically. It’s actually extremely abnormal, even after military training that’s meant to make you more okay with it, not to at least feel really weird about killing someone.

You know, Cat Guy’s right. We’re all tired. We’re all just people. And we all just want to live our lives and pet our cats.

Really wish we’d got Holden doing “Humans of Space New York”, but at least it wasn’t totally lost in translation.

And then...feels like Monica’s been learning a lot being around Chrisjen. Just gonna throw that right in her face, huh.

Drummer declaring war, just going right out into the open, saying “hey, I took your stuff, I blew up what I couldn’t take, and you’re a little bastard man and nobody likes you. Die mad about it.” Beautiful.

I’d really started liking Rosenfeld. But then...yeah.

So they do know the missile wasn’t a dud. But they really don’t wanna think about why. Hm. Wonder why they’re so eager to brush it off as a malfunction...

And now, the reaction shot. Oh, that full speech. Beautiful. Beautiful.

And then...Filip just snaps back. His dad, living rent-free as the devil on his shoulder, completely silencing any angel that might be there again.

[pomrania]

TMA Entities as Normal Horoscopes

(To clarify, the Entities from The Magnus Archives, as represented by horoscopes from @normal-horoscopes. Entities presented in alphabetical order, horoscopes in the order that I found them.)

BEHOLDING

Libra: Your eye for detail is one of your most defining traits! Most people only have two general purpose eyes.

Gemini: Unleash your curiosity upon an unforgiving world and dissect everything you are afraid of with an olive fork until you understand it so well it can’t scare you anymore.

Pisces: You are the last one still awake. What are you still doing up? This late at night, with only one pair of eyes. You might see something you weren’t supposed to.

Gemini: You’ll have to throw out or donate most of your novelty t-shirts when you awake to find several bonus eyes hovering around you in elliptical orbits.

Sagittarius: Careful not to blunt those sharp eyes on an unforgiving task. Passion for learning is all well and good, but you’re venturing into uncharted territory that may contain things that want your eyes.

Gemini: Most of us have spare eyes. You have far too many.

Taurus: I can’t shake the feeling I’m being watched. Wait, watched isn’t the right word. Watched and something else.

Cancer: Quit your peeping. Something is looking back at you.

BURIED

Virgo: The weight of the world will crush you into a diamond.

Virgo: Your horoscope today is just dust. That’s it. Buncha dust.

Libra: Pressure can be an excellent motivator in the right amount. Also, they meant social pressure, doing paperwork in a deep-sea diving bell will not improve the quality of your work.

Gemini: From dust to dust. You came from the earth and she wants you back.

Taurus: Cave buddies.

Capricorn: Spend some time huffing large amounts of dust to make your insides dustier.

Scorpio: As you lay on your back, head tilted to an uncaring sky, the very earth whispered to you. She reached up her hands and fingers and you gave her everything you could. Sleep now. Mother is here.

Taurus: It goes far deeper than you imagine. Talk about it.

Cancer: You’ve come across something you should not have interrupted. Run. Run now. Go, or the very earth will swallow you whole.

Scorpio: Your natural drive and ambition will lead you to some interesting places! Who knew a person could even fit in that small a hole?

CORRUPTION

Aries: Live in the level of filth that is comfortable to you. Just make sure you are practicing self-love.

Pisces: You will see a cool picture of a plague doctor this week. Hell yeah.

Pisces: Growth is simply growth. Gardens and cancers alike.

Ophiuchus: When she awoke to see the infection had taken her shoulder she did the only sensible thing. She cut off her own head. She holds it by the hair in her left hand.

Ophiuchus: Worms in your brain. Worms in your brain. There are very helpful worms in your brain.

Gemini: The discomfort you can’t seem to shake is likely due to the large nest of bees that have made its home inside your ribs.

Ophiuchus: The value of today’s fortune depends heavily on your opinion of rot.

Virgo: The position of Mars says the virus is spreading and soon you will be reborn ascendant to join in the virulent bacchanalia.

Leo: We can only hate what we see in ourselves. Consider that you may be full of mosquitoes.

Aquarius: A lavish and ostentatious estate. Empty and bare because the previous occupants couldn’t stomach a little plague. Wimps.

Aries: When she touched you she laid several eggs in your skin. Free babes! Nice.

Ophiuchus: Having trouble in an academic setting? Try lying down in a field and letting insects use their tiny voices to whisper the secrets of the world to you.

DARK

Scorpio: A ray of night from the clouds will darken the banks of the river. Look only. Touch nothing.

Capricorn: The massive black roadrunner that followed your car through Utah. You didn’t say a word the whole night.

Leo: When you see the black, many eyed owls, immediately turn around and snuff out any lights. Your light up sneakers will have to go. Sacrifices must be made.

Aries: Take their hand. They will guide you into the night. Finding your own way out will be its own task. Feel as your heart starts to quicken.

Pisces: There is so much the world has to offer. So much beyond this fervor. Steady your hands and rest in the gentle dark.

Leo: The Diminutive Beings of Shadow and Dread are raccoons. They are raccoons. Close your trash cans.

Aries: You visibly absorb light from the area around you, consider medication.

Leo: Something moves soundlessly through your neighborhood, avoiding the streetlights. Check on your pets.

Pisces: The night is a blanket over all of us. There is fear and comfort in the privacy of the dark.

DESOLATION

Scorpio: As much as the stars and I admire your zeal, human hair candles will not catch on.

Taurus: Ensure your friends sit next to you by burning all other chairs and eating the ashes to hide your trickery.

Virgo: Fire is a powerful cleansing force, but that doesn’t make arson legal. The one thing fire cannot purify is the law.

Gemini: It absolutely could hurt to try. Pain is just pain.

Aries: Today your horoscope involves fire and children. The stars wouldn’t clarify anything past that.

Ophiuchus: A chapel made from old shipping containers. The priest is setting herself on fire for the third time in the sermon.

Cancer: It will not actually solve anything, but you can put your problems into perspective by setting everything on fire.

Capricorn: You’ll look back on all of it and wish it to be burned. Start the fire as soon as possible.

Libra: Watch the fire dance between your fingers. You only have so long.

END

Aries: Look buddy, only one of us can leave this pumpkin festival alive, and I’m already dead.

Gemini: What’s the rush? Nothing has happened but you can feel your heartbeat in your ears, you can feel your eyes dilate. Literally nothing has changed but your body seems convinced that you are going to die any second.

Scorpio: No sense in arguing over the supposed opinions of a dead man. Dig him up and ask him why don’t you? It’s a once in a lifetime chance.

Sagittarius: Today you will be legally dead for about 140 seconds but you’ll come back with a complementary mint.

Leo: After selling your soul to the devil, the sheer negative value of your soul will crash the soul market, causing the dead to walk again.

Ophiuchus: The only permanent state of being is death and even that’s debatable.

Pisces: A good strategy here is to simply refuse to die.

Aquarius: Fuck it. Carry a scythe around. Who even gives a shit.

Capricorn: Statistically, there is a chance that something you do today, however small, will lead to the death of an innocent.

Ophiuchus: Death is only the beginning. The beginning of not being alive anymore.

Aries: Your obsession with death will be satisfied. Eventually.

FLESH

Ophiuchus: Have yourself a feast and invent a new catholic saint to justify it.

Taurus: The stars say to get of your high horse and quit genetically engineering horses to have such legs. Horses are poorly designed as they are. It’s irresponsible.

Aries: Your newfound ability to scale a brick wall in seconds flat is kinda scary. Your bones make weird noises and everything. Try not to do it around kids.

Virgo: Do you know what flavor you are Virgo? Well get ready to find out!

Capricorn: You know Capricorn, you’re really one or two big steps away from being a sausage.

Leo: There will be a distinct element of aggression to your emotions today, specifically towards chefs that are a member of the ancient secret society of cannibals who just murdered your science teacher.

Taurus: Money troubles Taurus? Try growing new bones and selling them to bone farmers for extra cash. If you get good enough at it, you can use wholesalers.

Sagittarius: Fear not, there is pulled pork aplenty for those with the courage to seek it.

Virgo: There is a mad little part of our heads that looks at a meat cleaver and says “just chop your hand off”. Don’t listen to that bit. It's a prick and it owes me $120.

Pisces: Your body is not a temple, it is a river. A river made of meat and blood and stuff.

HUNT

Aquarius: Speak softly, carry a big stick, hide a gun inside the stick just in case the bastard is outside of stick range.

Pisces: If you are being chased by something unearthly, go for the selfie. Life is short, especially when you are being chased by something unearthly.

Aries: Nothing evil stalks the forest. The wild is bigger than you could ever imagine. You are nothing to it. No skinwalker or boogeyman or revenant could ever aspire to the persistence and hunger of the wild untamed.

Leo: Allow fear to inform you. To accept fear as sovereign is sin against the self. Fear is very correct about the large hungry mammal chasing you. Run.

Aquarius: Those assassins from the meat of the month club have finally found your new address and are planting the explosives as you read this.

Scorpio: Dreams of chasing smaller weaker things through the woods. Waking aching to remember. You will remember soon.

Sagittarius: The hunt is on! No starbucks will escape your horn-blessed gaze.

Scorpio: You will get into a fight. Go on a quest for revenge. And know the true visceral feeling of the hunt.

Virgo: The blissful are being sold a lie. The only true bliss is the glory of the hunt and a slaked bloodlust.

Pisces: Nothing gets the panties wet like the sound of hundreds of spectral mounts crashing through moonlit woods while the call of the hunt echoes among the trees, striking fear into the hearts of your ghastly quarry.

LONELY

Ophiuchus: You can’t stop feeling just one thing. Stuffing down one emotion means stuffing down them all.

Aquarius: You may be stunned to find that the introduction of a new person into your life will make you less lonely.

Taurus: Spend some time outdoors today. Reflect on the state of the world. See yourself reflected in the world and try to fight the other person who is interrupting your reflection time.

Aquarius: Do you remember the seaside? That strip of sand that made you feel at home? Do you remember how quiet it was?

Virgo: Remember Virgo, you can click the control stick to go into stealth mode. Use this to avoid your problems easier.

Aries: You are beyond the pale, transparent really.

Taurus: It's not fog. It's a curse. A curse that looks like fog. Stay away.

Cancer: The stars and I regret to tell you that you will, actually, have to talk to people at some point.

SLAUGHTER

Capricorn: Some things cannot be prepared for. Who even uses flintlock pistols anymore? Especially in the parking lot of a grocery store?

Pisces: There is a number of knives that it is appropriate to own. It is quite high. Let’s say you need to curate your collection.

Pisces: Romantic bloodsport for two.

Leo: Nobody really cares that you’re not one for fighting. Preparation is its own reward.

Leo: Having trouble with your customers at work? Strike the head for critical damage!

Aries: When things seem confusing, just start swinging at whoever you see. At the very least, you’ll get some breathing room.

Capricorn: It may be that you fight for good, and your opponent fights for a love of bloodshed, all that matters is that you are fighting.

Virgo: Ruthless efficiency produces results but blind rage is more fun.

SPIRAL

Libra: Drawings of wildflowers that don’t exist. Diagrams and advice in a language that nobody speaks. Strewn about your room in impossible places.

Capricorn: Reject the concept of direction. There is no up, there is no down. Orientation is for losers.

Sagittarius: You are correct Sagittarius! That small wooden carving of a fox wasn’t there last night! Yes, it is cursed! Right on the money there.

Capricorn: There is no old woman following you around throwing small potted plants at you.

Scorpio: Relieve stress by planning a trip that isn’t a trip to a place that isn’t a place. Relieve stress by conceiving of time collapsed into a single semipermeable plane of events that anchors all the things that could be.

Leo: When the world stops making sense, play with the perspective. Go Escher on your problem’s ass.

Taurus: Two strangers meet in a Mediterranean country that does not exist. They discuss silver and poison and the nature of madness.

STRANGER

Aquarius: You are never done growing. It takes real effort, and for you, it will take many hours of prowling around the backs of hardware stores for stray screws to eat.

Libra: There is something in the wires practicing its voices by leaving spam calls in your inbox.

Sagittarius: Whoops! Something stole your friend’s face again! Get that ritual dagger and get to work.

Capricorn: Well lookee what we go here, a full shipment of mannequins that look exactly like you except with minor errors in body part proportions. Whoda thunk?

Sagittarius: Enough improvements and you’ll barely recognize yourself. Harvest the parts and avoid the authorities.

Cancer: If you’re gonna copy other people, don’t half-ass it. Ritual cannibalism is the only way to go.

Ophiuchus: The creepy carnival set up outside of town that only certain people can see is not to be trusted, not matter how cool the rollercoaster looks.

Cancer: She’s a fake bitch. Literally, she has a heart of clockwork and armored skin made of porcelain. Even unholy things like her shouldn’t gossip though.

Taurus: Beware the almost. The almost real, the almost breathing, the almost human.

Virgo: Keep a close eye on the puppets. One of them has no strings. 

VAST

Aries: The stars say you may find yourself falling from a great height. Remember to tuck and roll.

Virgo: Do not look down. There is nothing beneath you. Carry on with your day as if the world is sensible and solid beneath you, and it will follow suit.

Aries: The storm sirens wail, the sound of colossal footsteps thunder closer. A low mournful sound that seems to crack the sky.

Pisces: Today you might fall into a bottomless pit. This is not a metaphor.

Aries: Ever feel under the weather? You are lightning.

Aquarius: You can also see the stars if you’re not in a gutter.

Leo: A man on the roof of his home during a tornado warning, laughing.

Aries: The world seems to be getting smaller and smaller. One day you will be confronted with the magnitude of it all. The vast unexplored deep. The wild unknown, and all those that would build a home in its bosom.

Aries: The space between two mountains in the distance. The sky looks different. You can hear the beating of colossal wings.

Aquarius: Your desire for human contact can be satisfied by being struck by lightning for some reason.

WEB

Capricorn: Today you will finally locate and kill the college student with a writing credit on your life.

Capricorn: The stars say to make friends with the harvestmen in your bathroom. They are helping clean up all the lil bug corpses and would appreciate some recognition.

Aquarius: It’s time to make a nest. Don’t ask questions. No thought, only nest.

Gemini: You’ve got a productive day in store Gemini. Will it be on something you actually want to do? Let’s say there is some minor will enslavement involved.

Aquarius: You’ve done an excellent job so far of making friends with the spider people that live in the abandoned subway tunnels. Keep it up!

Gemini: People are depending on you to uphold your promises. The last thing you want to be known as is a trickster. Or is it? That’s exactly the sort of thing a trickster would do!

Leo: You are a puppet, you know exactly who is pulling the strings.

Libra: A tiny spider who has made a friend.

Ophiuchus: The spider lady would like her copy of Where the Sidewalk Ends back.

Aries: See how the cobwebs catch the light? Be sure to thank the spiders.

And some others that didn't necessarily fit with a particular Entity, but gave off such strong TMA vibes that I had to include them anyways:

Gemini: This week you will be faced with your greatest challenge yet, a twink with massive burn scars.

Libra: Preserve yourself for all eternity by outsourcing your aging to other people.

Pisces: One man’s panic inducing siren-song is what another man uses to fall asleep.

Virgo: Confused? Do not worry. Everything not saved will be lost.

Taurus: This week should be one of experimentation! Push the boundaries of what it means to be mortal!

Capricorn: Answer the Door.

Scorpio: Tomorrow will be the last time you dream of the crown of teeth.

Cancer: The thing that watches over the prison transport ships. It used to be two things but now they share a spine.

Aries: Trust your instincts Aries, your dead wife does have a new form made of dried paint and she is slowly hunting you.

Taurus: They died when the radio tower was bombed. Sometimes you can hear them sending messages before the sun rises, whispering over the unused channels.

Virgo: Your capacity for learning will come in handy today when you smash your head through an old Apple II and download the entire internet into your brain, along with several shards of glass.

Libra: Look, nobody said it would be easy, but at least now you’re suffering for something you love.

Pisces: There is a hole in the world where you cannot see, and through this hole there seeps the things that can never be.

Scorpio: Sometimes being too oblivious to even notice a problem can be an asset. Can’t sweat the small stuff if you don’t even notice it.

Libra: Financial problems? Try encasing your credit cards in a block of ice. Encase all money in a block of ice. Keep all wealth frozen in a block of ice.

Ophiuchus: Maybe your prayers would be answered if your god wasn’t such a pussy.

Gemini: Limited options make choices easier! There are only so many places you can get a human heart!

Taurus: Remember, now matter how many false eyes something might have, at least one of them has to be real. It boils down to a question of bullets over time.

Libra: When others can’t decide, you will be there to make the tough choices with your brave disregard for things like “Rational Thought” and “Basic Self-preservation”.

Virgo: Ribs are important. Make sure you have a good grasp on the importance of ribs.

Pisces: Your constant near death experiences may be putting you under some stress. Time for some light reading, or maybe some breathing exercises. Honestly the stars say you’re handling constantly being faced with your own mortality pretty well.

Aries: After hearing that cursed song today, you’ll only destroy 80% of the objects around you. Recovery is a slow process.

Cancer: There is an aggression to you today. There is an aggression to you all the time. There is an aggression to all things, it is simply your turn on the wheel.

Leo: The hunger you feel is not for food.

Capricorn: Woo her. She is terrifying isn’t she?

Gemini: You are hunting the guy down seven years later and bashing his knees in with a pipe.

Capricorn: What happens when you open a door marked “exit” and all you find is another hallway?

Ophiuchus: Nothing makes a friendship like shared intense suffering.

Taurus: Analog recording devices are surprisingly sensitive. Listen to your old tapes again and hear the tiny voices that whisper along with the song.

Taurus: Clawing your way back out has dulled your talons and blunted your fangs, you are a soft and gentle creature for it. You can buy a knife at most stores.

Sagittarius: When you needed patience, you thought of those who loved you. When you needed fury, you thought of those who hurt you. When you needed strength, you thought of yourself. When you needed just one more chance to get it right, you thought of that cat.

Libra: Keep a journal and write down everything you see, it may save the life of whoever finds it.

Libra: Did you feel it? Just now, the world ended. There's no going back. Saddle up and find a mask.

Leo: The night is long, the tea is hot, the eyes are plenty.

Ophiuchus: Your eyes can’t lie to you if you don't have any eyes.

Aries: Now is the time to try new things! Experience new forms of pain! Suffer in new and interesting ways!

Cancer: Someone is missing from that big social meeting you’ve got planned! Luckily they were just preoccupied with being suspended in limbo between life and death.

Libra: If someone says they have power over you, don't believe them until you see for yourself. Test those limits.

Aquarius: The danger you pose to others is dwarfed by your ability and desire to help. Nothing is without its dangers. You know this more than anyone.

Taurus: Turn some of your energy towards improving the space around you, especially if the space around you is bad and the energy is heat. Burn your house down.

Virgo: The stars say an authority member might be causing you some minor trouble. The important thing to remember during professional squabbles is to use your psychic powers to rip them apart with the strength of your will alone.

Taurus: It's a tough thing, allowing yourself to be known. The stars say the time may be coming up, are you ready? Too bad fucko, it's happening anyway.

Ophiuchus: Hiding under the covers actually works with some things. It is technically a threshold and so some things do actually have to be invited.

Cancer: Watch for a box that carries no address. Do not open it. It will be gone tomorrow.

Ophiuchus: Your choices are yours alone. This is important to remember, especially when not making choices.

Scorpio: Goddamit Goddamit shut the fuck up and tell a story.

Sagittarius: That could be you in a few years. Keep your feet about you.

Gemini: There is a deep and old power in that of the image. As long as cameras existed they have been a tool to tell what is really there.

[makeste]

if gran torino is kotaro's father and he took the "no contact" so literally he didn't even know he had a grandson, wow. it's one thing to knock at someone's door, it's another to keep an eye on someone from afar, especially your child when the threat is still around. so to me the "we made the decision" was nana consulting gran torino and both of them coming to a conclusion. she does say "i don't have a son" not "we". but i guess i don't my unfavourable opinion of GT to switch to negative.

yeah, I don’t actually think Gran is Kotaro’s father; I just find it amusing/intriguing that, rather than confirming that it’s not the case, Horikoshi is out here actively dropping weird lines of dialogue that would seem to make it more possible and not less, lol. but the “our decision” thing is most likely referring to the fact that he was in on the secret, but also chose to stay out of Kotaro’s life, even after Nana’s death.

regarding that decision though, no contact means no contact, period. I know it seems harsh, especially from Kotaro’s end (and honestly my heart aches for him so much every time I see those images of him sobbing and clinging to his mom and not wanting her to leave and not understanding why that I almost want to start crying myself), but she made the decision in order to protect him. not only that, but I fully believe that decision actually did save his life, or at least prolong it until AFO finally did manage to track him down all those years later. and the very fact that AFO still eventually managed to track him down and then proceeded to gruesomely kill him (because I still believe AFO was responsible for that tbh) and kidnap Nana’s grandchild and groom him into becoming his own heir says all you need to know about how serious the threat was. Kotaro was in immediate and very real danger, and the person targeting him was a man with unlimited resources who lacked so much as the slightest shred of mercy or empathy.

and lo and behold, AFO actually did eventually kill Nana. she was 100% correct in her estimation of how dangerous he was. there was no hiding from him, and at the time neither she nor Toshinori was strong enough to defeat him. this was something she knew was inevitable, and so she made the decision to spare her child from that. he was young and innocent and he didn’t understand, and that breaks my heart, and it absolutely broke hers. but she did it regardless, because the alternative was him eventually losing her anyway, except in a far more traumatic way, and with him probably not being far behind on the dying front afterwards. there just wasn’t another option. and to be honest, even if there was, even just the small risk of this potentially happening would be enough in my mind to justify the decision she made. she couldn’t risk anything happening to her child. she did the only thing she could do, knowing it would still hurt him but that he would at least be safe, and hopefully spared a much greater trauma down the line.

as for Gran, I said it in my previous post, but he is a clear and obvious link to Nana. if you’re AFO, and you know Nana had a husband (who you killed!! because you’re an asshole) and a child, and you know she dumped the kid off somewhere and wiped all public records of him and apparently did a very good job, but you still really want to track him down because, again, you’re an asshole, how do you manage it? you have absolutely no idea where he is. he could be literally any child. how do you hope to even begin narrowing it down? well, one very obvious way is to keep tabs on Nana’s hero buddy whom you definitely know about because he’s the guy who flew off with Nana’s heir right before you killed her.

(this is from All Might Rising, btw; just mentioning that because it’s technically not part of the series proper, and so I know not everyone has read it.) anyway, so this guy is a pro hero, which means a lot of information about him is a matter of public record, meaning that it’s probably fairly easy for you to track him down and keep him under observation. especially since you are literally the king of the fucking underworld, who has minions and spies everywhere to the extent where you can do ridiculous shit like spiriting away children to experiment on whenever you feel like it, and stealing the corpses of other children with absolutely no one being the wiser. I think it’s safe to assume that you have eyes and ears everywhere.

and so for Gran to keep tabs on Kotaro, which would presumably involve calling him (but what if AFO tapped his phone), or writing to him (but what if AFO intercepted one of the letters), or visiting him (this would have been the most dangerous thing of all because AFO could easily have had someone tailing him, and so Gran would have led them right to Kotaro’s doorstep), would honestly have been an incredibly risky thing to do. especially given how much Nana sacrificed to keep him safe to begin with! is he really going to risk throwing all of that away and making it meaningless, just for his own peace of mind? because it wouldn’t have benefited Kotaro in any kind of way either. what good is it going to do to drop by just to tell this five-year-old, “hey it’s me, your mom’s old friend who you probably don’t know very well if at all. I just wanted to let you know that your mother died horribly. real sorry about that. anyways good luck being an orphan, peace.”

and as for the notion that Gran should have adopted him instead, which I’ve seen a few people mention, I honestly don’t know how that would have been any better for him. either way his mom is still gone. at least this way he’s with people who are actually caring for him and who can keep him relatively safe. with Gran he most definitely would not have been safe, and Gran’s not exactly the most nurturing guy, either. and then there’s the matter of Toshinori on top of that. he already had a child he had basically adopted, and it wouldn’t have been fair to either Toshinori or Kotaro for him to try and split his attention between two grieving children, and trying to train the one while somehow attempting to raise the other. that wouldn’t have been healthy for any of them. and again, I keep saying it, but that’s because it’s true: AFO would have tracked them down. he did track Kotaro down eventually, even though it took him decades. this was not a danger to be underestimated at any cost.

basically what I’m trying to say is that this was a lose-lose situation, and everyone involved knew it, and so they tried to do the best that they could under the circumstances. there is absolutely no one to blame here except AFO. and hey, at least that’s one thing we can all agree on, lol. fuck All for One. that big dumb poopy head.

[nokomiss]

I'd love to see G - a fistfight with best girl Steph, please, if you're still doing your fic thing.

Hope you enjoy this, @shauds02! Sorry it took so long. ♥

*

If you do something often enough, it becomes habit.

Sometimes, that’s unfortunate. Super unfortunate. Like, for example, if you’re sitting there with your college study group, struggling your way through the week’s assignments (well, Steph’s struggling, everyone else is acting like it’s fine, though none of them had fought Firefly until 4am the previous night, but that wasn’t exactly something she could advertise) and a supervillain bursts into the library.

Jordanna shrieked and ducked under the table, Francisco held up his binder like a shield, and Steph leapt to her feet, rocked back on her heels, and punched the Riddler square in the nose.

“What the fuck,” he said, words garbled as he held his hand over his now-bleeding nose. “You broke my nose.”

“Move, you’re bleeding on my textbook,” Steph said, trying to shoulder him away from her books but not before they’re splattered with Riddler blood. Probably she should burn them now, no matter how much they’d cost her. Maybe Bruce would fund new ones. 

She distantly realized that her study group was staring at her. Most of the library was staring at her. Even in Gotham, the normal designated response to an A-list supervillain wasn’t to break their nose and then bitch about the mess.

“You little--” Riddler started to point at her, then stopped. “Wait, I know you.”

“No you don’t,” Steph says quickly. She could feel Jordanna and Francisco’s eyes on her and resolutely did not look in their direction.

“No, I definitely do,” Riddler said. He squinted at her, one hand still cupped around his nose. Steph probably could have gone easier on that punch, given how he hadn’t seen it coming at all, but old habits and all that. 

“Aren’t you meant to be doing crime or something?” she said, hoping to derail him. Babs was on campus today, and no doubt had already sent out the alert. Encouraging the Riddler to go back to crime was totally not that bad, since there was no doubt a superhero on their way.

Because this is not how she wanted her secret identity to be revealed to the world. How did the Riddler even recognize her as Batgirl, anyhow? She hadn’t had any encounters with him in the suit-- maybe he was going to tell everyone she was Spoiler? She could maybe play that off as a thing of the past, that she’d left it all behind…

Ugh. She grimaced, bracing herself for her world to come crashing down.

“Stephanie!” the Riddler said loudly, pointing at her with the hand that wasn’t cupping his nose. “Cluemaster’s girl! I stayed at his house a few years back and you were a real brat about it.”

Steph blinked. 

“I was not a brat, I was totally justified in not wanting to share my bathroom with your gross henchwomen,” Steph replied back heatedly. “They got what they deserved.”

“I had to pay them hazard pay because a goddamn teenager kept hiding the toilet paper, putting hard candies in the showerhead and filling their shoes with jell-o,” Riddler said.  “Do you know how embarrassing that is to explain to your accountant? Huh? Do you?”

“Do I look like I have an accountant?” Steph pointed out. “And maybe you should have used that money to get yourself a lair instead of squatting in my house and then bitching about the treatment.”

Riddler narrowed his eyes at her. Steph narrowed hers back.

Then he tossed his head back and laughed. “Yeah, your dad always said you were a handful. Laughed when I told him what you were doing. Bastard.”

“He is,” Steph said, nodding, always happy to talk shit about her dad.

He looked around, at the cowered students, and the work spread out on the table. “You’re not following in his footsteps, right? Actually gonna make something of yourself?

“I was trying until some dumbass supervillain interrupted my study session,” Steph said. 

“Touche,” said Riddler, and sighed. “This idea’s toast now, anyway. Can’t make a good speech for the hostages looking like this.”

“You technically haven’t done any crime yet,” Steph agreed. “You could just stroll out. Start fresh.”

They’d had a few snacks from the food cart outside before starting the study session, and she grabbed a few napkins left over from that off the table and handed them to Riddler. 

He accepted and used them to mop up the blood around his nose. “Fair point. Next time you talk to your dad, tell him we’re even.”

“Bold of you to assume I talk to him, but okay,” Steph said, and waved a little as the Riddler motioned for his henchmen -- not the ones Steph had pranked, thankfully, henchperson turnover was a real problem in Gotham -- to follow him out of the library.  She wondered briefly what her father could have done for the Riddler to owe him, then decided she didn’t actually care.

Silence filled the room after he left, and Steph sat down in her chair, staring at her ruined textbook and avoiding her friends’ stare.

“Okay, I’ll be the one to say it,” Jordanna said. “What the fuck was that?”

“Uh,” Steph said, “nothing important? Do you have the answer to number fourteen yet?”

“Oh no,” Francisco said, leaning forward on his elbows and staring her down. “You are absolutely telling us how you know the freaking Riddler.”

“He was work buddies with my dad?” Steph said. “So like, number fourteen. I’m thinking it’s C, because--”

“So when you found out about my dad, you never felt like you should mention that yours was a supervillain.”

“To be totally fair he’s a shitty one?” Steph said. “And he’s in Blackgate and I hope he stays there forever, so. Not really comparable to your family, who you actually talk to.”

“This explains so much,” Jordanna said thoughtfully. “You’re such a weirdo, and the fact that you think punching the Riddler in the nose is a valid response to a hostage situation is so much more understandable now that I know that you grew up in it. You know, I bet I could do a really interesting psychological study on the effects that growing up with a supervillain has on appropriate stress responses.”

“Absolutely not, no,” Steph said. She refused to answer any more questions, and hoped that the topic would drop.

*

The topic most decided did not drop.

Steph had been living a blissfully nondescript college life. She hadn’t even realized how blissful it was until suddenly everyone knew that she was the daughter of a supervillain.  Like, she’d dealt with this shit enough in elementary school, she thought that by college it would be no big deal. But the thing about college is that it’s made up of people from all over, even at a place like Gotham University, and apparently supervillains were still a noteworthy thing for a lot of people.

Steph finds this out in class.

She’s sitting there, awake, taking notes, minding her own business when the person behind her taps her on the shoulder.  She turns, and the girl whispers, “Is it true you beat up the Riddler?”

“Of course not,” Steph said reflexively. “Or, I guess. The library thing? I, like, barely broke his nose.”

She turned back, ready to listen to her professor, only to find that apparently he’d been listening to her. She stammered out an apology, and he waved it away. “I think we all would like to hear a firsthand account of what happened there,” he said instead, eyes alight. 

“Uh, what?” Steph said, entirely unused to being asked about fighting supervillains.  She realized everyone was looking at her in a way -- well, she’d seen it before, but typically she was wearing a Bat on her chest when it happened.

It wasn’t a very dramatic story, though Steph added a little pizzazz to it so she didn’t disappoint anyone. Afterwards the lecture went on as usual, though she noticed she kept getting looks.

She got invited to three different parties on her way out of class, and fled to Babs’ office. She was actually in, though she gave Steph an annoyed look before returning her attention to her computer screen. 

Steph waited as patiently as she could until Babs sighed, took her hands off the keyboard and said, “You wanted something?”

“So my identity’s blown,” Steph said, flopping into the chair across from Babs. 

This got an immediate reaction. “Batgirl? Who all knows? We need to--”

“Not Batgirl,” Steph interrupted, before Babs started launching some sort of secret identity fail protocol. “The Riddler talked about recognizing me, and now everyone knows about my dad.”

Babs blinked. “I didn’t realize that wasn’t public knowledge.”

“The fact that Arthur Brown is the Cluemaster is something you can easily google,” Steph said, “but not that I’m his daughter. Brown’s not exactly an unusual last name. And people are being weird about it since I broke the Riddler’s nose in front of the whole library.”

“You don’t think that maybe the weirdness has to do more with your actions than your dad’s?” Babs said, with that eyebrow raise that Steph hated so much. 

“I will admit to it being a factor but let’s be real, I’ve done weird shit before and no one invited me to parties over it.” Steph leaned back in the chair, staring up at the ceiling. “Of all the damn things to finally make me cool in the eyes of my peers.”

Babs was definitely laughing at her.

*

It was weird, no doubt, but Steph actually was kind of enjoying the attention. Sure, it made dashing off on Batgirl business a little more difficult -- she actually had to tell one group of people, who were wanting to hear what it was like to live with supervillains firsthand that she had ‘urgent supervillain business’ to attend to in order to escape, and while it wasn’t an actual lie, it definitely made her feel kinda gross -- but overall? Suddenly getting the respect and admiration of her peers, and seemingly a lot of it having to do with her own badass actions? Pretty great.  Total confidence booster. 

 Especially since with the other Bats, her own supervillain ties were embarrassing, given that the others who had been born into supervillainy were related to the A-list. The Cluemaster was laughable when compared to David Cain, Lady Shiva and the al Ghuls. 

So she laughed and demonstrated her left hook and did a few impromptu lessons showing girls how to get more power behind their punches, which was a definite public service for college girls in Gotham.  She avoided actually talking about her dad or glorifying his actions, since she still hated his guts, and the vagueness of her answers on that topic only served to add more mystique to her growing legend.

Then it happened.

She was sitting in the commons with some of her new buddies, eating some nachos that had been gifted to her, when the girl beside her -- Frankie, that’s what Steph was pretty sure her name was -- sighed dreamily and said, “He’s just so hot, you know?”

“Who?” Steph said through a mouthful of tortilla chips and queso.

“Cluemaster.”  Frankie flipped open her notebook, and wow. Wow. She’d drawn a picture of Steph’s dad.  He was shirtless and had his hair fluttering over his shoulder like he was on the cover of a romance novel. Steph distantly noted that the art itself showed a lot of talent and effort, but most of her mind was occupied by the sound of the Kill BIll sirens echoing louder and louder.

“Right?” another girl -- Kala -- sighed. The guy next to her -- Miles -- nodded in agreement.

“What,” Steph managed to say.

“Like, you know how most of Gotham’s male villains are really gross-looking?” Kala continued, “which is totally unfair, given how fucking hot all the lady villains are.”

“Seriously,” Frankie said. “I mean, I enjoy looking at Ivy as much as the next person, but no one wants to check out Killer Croc or Two-Face, you know?”

“Well, Two-Face is at least half-hot,” pointed out Miles. “But the other half is a definite dealbreaker. But your dad, on the other hand…”

“No deformities, great hair, hot bod,” Frankie said. She smiled at Steph. “You’re so lucky.”

“I… what?” Steph struggled to find words. “Not really the word I would have chosen?”

Kala leaned in on her elbows. “He’s in Blackgate, right? Do they monitor his mail?”

“Do they--” Steph blinked rapidly. “You are not allowed to write dirty letters to my dad.”

They all laughed merrily, like she’d made a funny joke. Steph put down the plate of nachos and said, “That’s gross. He’s a terrible person! And in prison! And he’s married!”

She left off the fact that her parents’ marriage, at this point, was more a forgotten legality than a relationship. She stood up, brushing the crumbs off her lap and saying, “I’m gonna go now.”

She fled.

*

This time she didn’t wait for Babs to finish with her work when she burst into her office. “Babs! My life is a living nightmare!”

Babs gestured for her to be quiet, but Steph couldn’t hold in the horror of her discovery. “My new friends just wanted to be around me because they wanted to bone my dad.”

A choking sound from Babs’ computer, and Steph hurried around the desk to find that Babs was in the midst of a video call with Dick.  He looked entirely too amused.

“Are you sure?” Babs said doubtfully.

“One girl showed me her gross horny drawing of him,” Steph said. “I’m sure. They asked if Blackgate monitors his mail.”

Babs bit her lip, clearly holding in laughter. Dick didn’t bother with dignity and was full-on laughing at her.  

“This is a nightmare.” Steph clunked her head down on Babs’ desk, then had a thought. “Dick, how do you shut this kind of shit down?”

“Huh?” Dick said. 

“Like, with your buddies, how did you shut them down when they realized your dad was a hottie?”

Steph found that her own misery was somewhat lessened by the appalled look on Dick’s face.

“I mean,” she quickly clarified, so that no gross rumors got started, “I personally don’t find him bangable, you know, but clearly a lot of people do. He was voted People’s Sexiest Man Alive three times.”

“You’re very well-informed on the subject,” Dick managed, still making a face like he’d just tasted a lemon. Steph wondered if she’d been making that face at those awful Cluemaster fangirls. She hoped so.

“For his birthday this year I gave him a mug printed with the covers,” Steph explained with a shrug. “I think he took it to the Watchtower.”

Dick’s face went on another journey through a variety of emotions, then he said, “Babs, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye,” she said, waving her fingers cheerfully as he hung up. 

Steph sighed. “That wasn’t very helpful.”

“You certainly enjoyed it, though,” Babs said, words tinged with laughter. 

Steph couldn’t even deny it. Misery loved company.

*

Steph took to avoiding as many of her classmates as she could. She no longer trusted them. She went to class, hunched down in the back row like she thought she was famous, hoodie up and giant sunglasses on the second she left the building. 

The only ones she trusted to eat lunch with were Jordanna and Francisco, who tolerated her presence.  The revelation that her dad was a supervillain and that she was willing to punch supervillains in the nose hadn’t been enough to change their opinions of her, which she was grateful for.

She was listening to Jordanna give a detailed rant about the reasons her new roommate was a nightmare when Jordanna went quiet.

Steph realized someone was approaching, and she glanced up to see Tim sit down on the bench beside her.  She blinked at him.  “What are you doing here?” she asked, confused.

“I was in the neighborhood,” Tim said with a shrug, and opened up a takeout container. “Thought I’d have lunch with you.”

Francisco and Jordanna were staring again, Steph noticed. She glared at Tim, who calmly started unwrapping his gyro. “You could have asked.”

“You always tell me to leave you alone at school,” Tim replied easily. “I brought you some baklava, though.” He pushed the container towards her.

Steph accepted the baklava, but not the explanation. “Yeah, because aren’t you supposed to be at work.”

At Wayne Enterprises. She was ninety percent sure that Francisco and Jordanna totally recognized him.

“Meeting got cancelled,” Tim said cheerfully. 

“Timothy,” Steph said, putting all of her angst into his name, dragging it out.

“You are Tim Drake-Wayne,” Jordanna said. She turned to Steph with narrowed eyes. “Why do you know one of the Waynes?”

“Good question,” Francisco said.”I mean, first the Riddler, now a Wayne? It’s like we don’t even know you.”

“We dated in high school,” Steph said, because the truth was always the best lie.  

“And now we’re best friends,” Tim confirmed. “She’s basically part of the family.”

Steph looked briefly heavenward. This was not happening.

Jordanna looked between them. “How did you meet? I mean, a supervillain’s daughter and a billionaire’s son?”

“It was before he was a Wayne,” Steph said quickly.

“Because of the supervillain thing,” Tim said.  Steph glared, but he continued on. “My real dad was murdered by one, you see, and Steph here wrote me a really nice sympathy card. We bonded.”

“How sweet,” Francisco said.

“Yeah,” Steph said, “so sweet.”

Lunch continued on, and by the end of it Steph realized that there was no way that Francisco and Jordanna were going to let the knowledge that she had an in with the Wayne family die.  When Tim offered to walk her to class, she accepted, and hissed into his ear, “What the fuck, Tim?”

“Dick told me about your problem,” Tim said cheerfully, waving at a few people as they passed. “We thought that you needed to distract from the issue at hand.”

“By showing everyone I’m even weirder than they thought? Ugh,” Steph said, clunking her head against his shoulder. “Tim, my friend, light of my life, how are you so smart and so very dumb at the same time?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said cheerfully.

“See, if you’d gone to college, you would, you high school dropout,” Steph grumbled.

“You didn’t finish high school either,” Tim pointed out.

“Yeah, but I got a GED and continued my education, so suck it.”

*

Steph found herself in the center of so many rumors after that. She understood what Dick and Tim had been thinking, but god, boys were such morons.

“True enough,” Babs agreed when Steph came in exclaiming that. Steph angsting in Babs’ office was becoming quite the habit.

“So now I’m the girl with the supervillain dad who is cozying up to the Waynes,” Steph said. “I heard a conspiracy theory that I’m trying to marry Tim and steal the Wayne fortune to disperse amongst the Gotham rogues.”

Babs snickered. Steph was beginning to think that her visits were the highlight of Babs’ workweek. 

“I’m thinking about faking my death,” Steph said conversationally. “Then starting fresh with a completely new identity. That’s how I fucked it up last time, I went back to the old one. New me is the only way to go. Thinking about naming myself Esmerelda. Or maybe Jane. No one would notice a Jane.”

“Faking your death is not the way out of every problem,” Babs said. 

“I mean, you say that, but are you sure?” Steph said. “Pretty sure I’m the resident expert on the topic here.”

“Rumors are only interesting for a little while,” Babs said calmly. “Just hold out a week or so, everyone will forget about this.”

Steph sighed. “I miss the good ole days when my biggest woes were finding out people were horny for my loser dad.”

“That was yesterday,” Babs said.

Steph wondered if Babs would fail her if she flipped her off.

*

The best and worst part about Barbara Gordon was that she was always right.

Steph suffered through the next week, but sure enough, the rumors swirling around her began to die down. She began her (thankful) transition into just another college student, instead of That Girl.

She no longer got free nachos, but she also no longer had to hear anyone talking about how hot her dad was, so that was an absolutely fair trade-off. Her connection to the Waynes was largely forgotten, her college friends just started talking to her about ping-pong tournaments and answering her questions about readings she didn’t get done.  It was great.

Then a giant alien worm crash-landed in the center of campus, followed quickly by Supergirl. She wrestled the worm, taking out the math building in the process, and once the worm had been subdued, she spotted Steph.

“Hi, Steph, wanna go get ice cream?” she said cheerfully, seeming to completely forget that she was both still in her Supergirl costume and also covered in alien worm goo.

Jordanna and Francisco both slowly turned and looked at Steph, who had absolutely no idea how to explain that one.

Might as well lean into it. She shrugged at them and called back, “Sure!” to Supergirl.

Let the rumors fly.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 17 - prt1

17

Keeping up with the tradition, they all wound up back at Lance’s house. Keith and Pidge were bonding with Blue, his cat a ho when it came to pats... on her terms of course. Keith seemed mystified over what to do when a cat sat in your lap. Blue was a traitor, bunting up into Keith’s chin because she was a traitorous whore with no taste. In the kitchen with Hunk, Lance nursed a mug of warm wine mixed with blood, as Hunk baked. He couldn’t stop himself. He needed to unwind and Lance was happy to provide his kitchen for that

“Did you really break your phone, man?”

Lance looked over the rim of his mug

“Yep. Dropped it on my bedroom floor. It shattered on the spot”

“You said we’d talk... I’m feeling kind of left out man”

“I didn’t mean to make you feel left out”

“Ever since Keith came along, you’ve been acting weird. I know sometimes Pidge can be full on, but I thought we were tight”

“We are tight”

“Then what haven’t you been telling me? I’ve told you things I wouldn’t think of telling Pidge”

Lance felt as if Keith had gotten his wish and staked him through the heart

“It’s not like that...”

“Then what is it like?”

The vampire didn’t have a whole lot of options. He could confess he was a vampire and give Hunk a heart attack. He could keep lying, which was clearly hurting Hunk. He could claim Keith was threatening him, but then Pidge and Hunk would want to take things into their own hands... Fuck... He didn’t want to hurt Hunk. Lying really did hurt. His friends were so special to him that he hated having to distance himself... semi lies were as bad as the real thing

“Okay... okay... the truth is I’m not really over being sick. I’m still feeling sick most of the time and I’m not used to having company all the time. I didn’t want to tell you because you worry about me so damn much. I’ll recover, good as new, but I’m supposed to have spent this last week resting up as much as possible. I can’t help myself, I love hanging out with you and Pidge, so when you invite me I can’t say no. I pushed myself a little too hard to fast, but I promise I’m working on getting better”

Hunk’s eyes immediately welled with tears

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because all I need is to catch on some sleep. You and Pidge are my best friends. I want to make as many memories with you as I can. I also had a call that wasn’t great, so that’s been on my mind too”

“A call?”

“A work call. The woman was strung out of her mind, I had to call in a welfare check on her. It’s been exhausting, but nothing a few good nights sleep won’t cure”

“Man... I wish you’d told me. We could have gone back home...”

“It’s okay”

“It’s not okay. If you’re sick, you need to be resting. I’ll tell Pidge while you get ready for bed”

“Dude, I’m okay”

“Please, stop being stubborn! Pidge and I both know you’ve never been really well. You’re always so pale. But you never tell us anything. We’re your friends, we want you to rely on us”

He’d been told that by Hunk before, playing it off as a low immune had bought him about a years worth of silence on the matter

“I do. I love you guys like family. That’s why... that’s why it’s so hard. We’ll watch what Pidge filmed, then head to bed”

“Absolutely not. I’ll have dad come pick us up. Keith can crash at mine for the night”

“You don’t need to do that”

“I don’t need to, but I want to. Let me help”

Passing Keith off was a terrible idea. Keith didn’t mix well with others. If he snapped anything was likely to come out... but what Lance wouldn’t give for a night without having to worry about waking Keith

“His brother Shiro should be swinging around tomorrow to pick him up. It’ll be fine, it’s only one more night. Plus, if we don’t watch the film now we won’t be able to watch it all together as a group”

Sure, most of Keith’s face was hidden behind the mask but Lance could tell all his expressions from the way his muscles moved. His brain told him that at any rate. His imagination must have been filling in the blanks automatically based on what he knew of Keith’s personality

“You need rest”

“I’ll be resting on my chair. Nothing strenuous happening, other than being in trouble with Pidge for talking. We’ll watch the video, pick out what to keep and what to edit, then I’ll go straight up to bed”

Hunk sighed, picking up the closest tea towel off the kitchen bench as he did

“You better. I’ll still have dad pick us up. And you need to answer your phone”

“I only have my work phone and the home phone”

“Exactly. Two other ways of calling”

“I can’t promise I’ll hear them, but if I see you’ve called, I’ll call back. Deal?”

Holding his hand out, Hunk took it, his handshake firm

“Deal. Don’t go around worrying me like that, man. I’m still recovering from tonight. Did you see that grey stuff?”

“It was the light off the camera. From having the viewfinder open and in night mode. That’s my bet. That combined with dust. Anyway, anything haunting that place would have made themselves scarce thanks to Pidge. I wouldn’t want to be a ghost and on the wrong side of her”

“I thought she was literally going to blow steam from her ears. She was so cranky”

“Especially when Keith tripped. I thought she was going to go turn him into a ghost on the spot”

Lance snorted as he smiled. Keith would be the dopiest ghost. He’d probably actually turn into one, but go around thinking he was human

“So did I. Our little gremlin is viscous. How long do the cookies need?”

“10 minutes. Go on ahead, I’ll be in soon”

“Alright, buddy. Don’t forget to use the dishwasher instead of doing the dishes by hand. Tonight was hard on you too. You deserve to kick back and relax”

“Yep, will do”

Pidge had Lance’s laptop on her lap when Lance headed into the living room

“Pidge! You’re not supposed to be on there!”

Pidge jumped at being sprung in the act

“I was ordering you a new phone. What kind of idiot doesn’t use a lifeproof case?”

“Me when they’re not very lifeproof. You know there’s sensitive files on there”

“Relax. All I did was open the browser. I don’t want to know about your cases”

“That’s beside the point. How you feel if you were one of them. And, it’s not like I can’t buy a new phone from the post office”

“You can, but I’m picking out a good one”

“Nope. No. I just need a cheap one where I can message you guys, take photos of Blue, and watch cat videos”

“Pffft. No. Trust me, you need to embrace the future, no more living in the past. Now, what colour do you want?”

“I don’t care about colour”

“You’re hopeless! Here’s one for $1500”

“Absolutely no way. I can’t justify spending that much on a phone. No. I’m fine with a $120 cheapie”

“You’re not fine and those things are an insult to technology. Help me out Keith”

Keith’s expression said he was in for trouble. Keith would do anything to mess with his life further, including taking revenge by making Lance pay out an unreasonable amount of money. Give it enough time and everything flashy would become standard for much cheaper

“I don’t know if he’s allowed something, or if he’d just wind up breaking it”

“Damn! Nice one. Okay, I’m ordering your phone now...”

“Pidge!”

“... and it’s done. You can thank me later with a shitload of photos of Blue. She’s such a diva. You should make her her own socials”

Lance didn’t love socials. He didn’t love the fakeness. He wished people could see and love the things in them that they might hate because society had made them feel like shit. He only had socials because of Pidge and his Mami. Most of what he posted was of Blue and her perfect little toe beans... with the occasional, less than lady like, tongue blep as she glared at him. He wasn’t putting pressure on Blue to be perfect for an audience

“Seriously?”

“Yep. A new case is coming too. This one should be Lance proof. Do we need to think about putting child safety devices in place?”

“I don’t know, Pidgeon. Do I need to think about digging a shallow grave when I see the price?”

“Maybe... is it for me, or for you?”

“I don’t know yet”

“Then I don’t know either. Hurry up and sit down already, you can have your precious laptop back. I don’t see why you need the desktop set up and a laptop. Both are practically antiques”

“You did both builds last year”

Pidge moaned

“Exactly, antiques. A painful reminder of my youth”

“Keith, do me a favour and punch Pidge in the arm for me. She’s being an idiot”

Keith ignored him, scratching the base of Blue’s back where it met her tail, Blue purring. Everybody in the room sucked. If it worked and did what it was meant to, Lance was fine with it not being the latest and greatest

“Ha! He knows better than to hit me”

“Yeah, because he’s as scared of you as the rest of us”

Pitch ditched a cushion in his direction, that missed him completely

“Rude”

“Merp”

Keith simply snorted at the both of them, Blue was taking up too much of the hunter’s attention. Still, he was going to be the bigger man, no wet food for Blue until she came back and loved him again.

*

The next week of Lance’s life passed slowly. Very fucking slowly in parts. His thirst wasn’t getting better, Keith wanted to fight every day, he didn’t have the energy to keep up with his work, feeling like he was letting all his clients down. Something in his gut was trying to tell him something, and Lance wasn’t sure what it was. He hadn’t heard from Shiro. Keith’s answer to that problem was that Shiro would come back when it was safe. But “safe for who?” was a totally different question. Lance had found that gradually he was getting used to Keith’s presence. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like this kind of uneasy peace. Keith grudgingly ate Lance’s cooking. The idiot had burned toast... in the toaster. It didn’t take a degree to be able to put two pieces in and pull down the lever, but somehow he’d done it. He’d set off the fire alarms, waking Lance, who immediately went into panic mode. Smacking his arm on the wall, he’d burst the blood blister building beneath his skin, smearing blood on the wall, as he swore. Rushing into the kitchen, the toaster was on fire, Lance ripping the cord out the all and dumping the lot in the sink.

Swapping the washing from the machine to the dryer, Lance closed his eyes and counted to 10 before opening them again. He could hear Keith shuffling around in the kitchen. He could hear his phone vibrating on the bench. The way his coffee machine slowly came to life told him he had all of 5 minutes before Keith would be all up in his face demanding that they fight. He could be in the middle of vacuuming and Keith would still pop up and demand to fight. He seemed to be working out a style for himself and organising his thoughts as he did. He still hadn’t decided on Keith, but he had to give him some credit. He kept trying and he kept getting back up... He was still to get an actual blow in that Lance hadn’t allowed. Maybe he was sick from Keith continually beating him up? And maybe he was kind of enjoying things more than he let himself believe. Or maybe his defences were lower than normal thanks to still being sick.

“Lance! Message!”

So Keith was his answering service now? Where was that in the terms and agreements of having his house hijacked?

“I know! I heard! Some dick didn’t bring all his washing out!”

“That’d be you!”

Like fuck it was. His lapses didn’t count when it was his house and he was going through stuff. Watching Keith try to wash and live in two sets of clothes was painful, so now he had three sets, plus underwear and socks of his own. He had a whole damn drawer in the spare bedroom, the Hunter basically moved in

“Fuck off!”

So much for his calming breath.

Heading into the kitchen, Keith had coffee made for the both of them. Yeah, Lance would have preferred tea but Keith seemed adamant on conquering the coffee machine

“Who was the call from?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t check it”

Lance raised an eyebrow

“I thought that was your thing, snooping on people’s calls?”

“Very funny old man. You look worse than you did yesterday”

“Isn’t that good for you?”

“No. I can’t learn anything if you’re half dead”

“If only I’d known that all along. I would have been off the hook long ago”

“Ha ha fucking ha”

“Shut up drink and your coffee”

Snatching his phone up, Lance’s chest went tight, his stomach dropped and his knees nearly went with it

“What’s wrong?”

Opening the message recorded, Lance held it to his ear as his hands shook

“Hi, Lance, it’s Sally here. Your grandmother’s taken a bit of a fall. She was awake when we found her, but we’ve transferred her to Platt General hospital. I’m sorry to drop this on you. If you want to give them a call, they might have more information for you...”

Lance’s phone slipped from his hand, Keith catching it before he could break another one

“Lance?”

“I’ve got to go”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. It doesn’t concern you... fuck...”

He was getting teary. His Mami wasn’t as strong as she’d once been

“Hey...”

Brushing Keith off, Lance started scrambling to get ready, his head already dreaming up worst case scenarios. Had his Mami fallen or had it been something more? Had something happened? Was she not telling him something?

Racing out the front door, he made straight for his car. The key didn’t seem to want to go into the ignition, Lance screaming at it in frustration

“Move over, I’ll drive”

Lance nearly told Keith to fuck himself. He didn’t know why he’d followed him out. Sliding across the bench seat, Keith climbed into the drivers seat

“What’s happened?”

“It’s... I need to get to Platt general”

“You’ll have to give me directions. What’s going on? Who’s in hospital?”

“My Mami...”

Whatever smart reply Keith had for that died on the man’s tongue. Giving a nod, Keith got the key into the ignition, the old bronco starting with a rumble.

The drive to Platt was horrible. It passed in a blur as Lance prayed to whoever was out there that it wouldn’t be something major. Barking directions at Keith, Keith copped all his bad mood and worry, the hunter barely parked before Lance was rushing to get out the car. He hadn’t even bothered to clip in his damn seatbelt for the drive

“Lance, take a breath”

“Fuck you”

“Your teeth are fucking showing”

Oh... he was making a vampire face... fuck... he felt like he was about to throw up across his feet. He needed to see his Mami, and Keith’s presence was the only thing keeping him from completely losing himself. The hunter deserved a break

“Do you know what ward she’s on?”

“No. They didn’t say...”

“Okay, we’ll find out together”

Lance should have known Keith knew all about his family. Keeping his hand on Lance’s good arm, to keep him from running off, Keith talked to the woman at the front information desk, finding his Mami’s room with more patience than Lance had. He’d been here before with his Mami, so he should have remembered the way up to the floor, Keith nearly getting them lost because Lance couldn’t stop the flood of tears rolling down his face over the fact his Mami wasn’t dead. Finding the right ward, the nurse at the desk looked up at them like she was perplexed by their presence, telling them that only family was allowed to see his Mami. With choked words Lance explained that he was her grandson and emergency contact, which was apparently Luis on the hospital side of things. It wasn’t supposed to be him. Lance lived the closest, and he was the one who always made time for his Mami. When the woman looked to Keith, Lance explained that he was Mami’s other grandson, Keith not at all comfortable with the sudden promotion to family. Signing in, the nurse led them to his Mami’s room. She’d fractured her hip in the fall, and done a bang up job on her face, Lance nearly face planting as his emotions grew further out of control.

Propped up on pillows, Lance let out a fresh sob at his Mami’s face. Keith telling the nurse he’d call if they needed anything. His Mami looked so frail, far too frail, her complexion washed out, but when she saw him, she was raising her arms towards him

“Oh, Mijo...”

Walking over to his Mami, Lance wrapped his arms around her the best he could

“I’m okay. It’s just the silly head of mine. I got a little muffled”

“I was so scared”

“I know, you’ve always had a sweet heart. But you know it takes more than a fall to stop me”

Lance snorted a laugh, well aware he was snotting on his Mami’s shoulder

“I was still scared. Sally called to let me know”

“She’s got a big mouth, that one. They say I’m off to surgery soon, time for the good drugs”

“Mami!”

His mother chuckled, her strength wasn’t what it was, so Lance reluctantly drew out of her embrace to sit beside her

“Now, enough of that face. It’s a fractured hip, I’ve still got plenty of life in this old bird”

“You’re not old”

“Says you”

“Touché... fuck... I felt like...”

He felt as scared as when his Papi passed

“You didn’t lose me just yet. My face is sorer than the leg. I’m a tough old duck”

“That doesn’t make me feel better”

“That’s because you worry too much. Now, who is your handsome friend here?”

Right. Fuck... He didn’t know if his teeth were still showing... but this was his Mami and he’d never been that great at keeping secrets from her

“This is Keith... he knows...”

“Nice to meet you “Keith He Knows”... I’m hoping you did the driving and not Lance”

“Uh, yes, Ma’am”

His Mami laughed, her slight wince in the corner of her eyes didn’t go unnoticed by Lance. She had to be in a lot of pain, despite what she was saying and how she was acting

“Gracious. Where did he find you. Miriam is fine, dear. Now, I know my son is a worrywart, so could be a dear and find him a cup of tea for his nerves?”

“I think I can...”

“Thank you. It’s nice to see Lance is making friends. He’s so insistent that he’s fine alone. I hope you’re a good friend to him”

Keith took the the opening to flee, Lance didn’t blame him. They weren’t friends... he didn’t know what they were

“Mijo, I’m okay. Where did you meet Keith “who knows”?”

“Does it matter?”

“It does when my baby boy is making friends... or is there something you’re not telling you Mami”

Lance groaned

“You sound like Pidge”

“Ah, she’s a smart girl. Sooo... you and Keith?”

“Aren’t like that... He’s a human for one thing”

“And?”

“And a single drop of my blood could change all that, plus, I’m pretty sure he actually hates me”

“Ooooh, my little Mijo is growing up!”

His Mami must have been high

“Mami, he’s a hunter”

“I can see how that could make things difficult... Is he here to kill you?”

How could his Mami sound so blasé about his death?

“He wanted to. But things happened. Now he’s annoying houseguest”

“I hope you’ve been treating him right”

“Mami!”

“Good chinaware and fresh sheets...”

Lance groaned

“Mami, it’s not like that. How can you be so calm?”

“Because I can tell he’s not going to kill you”

“How?”

“Just call it a Mami feeling”

“I think Mami’s feeling high”

“A bit. A bit annoyed this happened before bingo. That Andy Jefferies always wins the good stuff. His walker might have to go for a walk”

“Mami!”

“I’m just saying... oh, never mind. Luis should be here soon”

Fucking Luis...

“Don’t make a face like that, Mijo. He is your brother”

“I know and someone changed me from their emergency contact here”

“Well Luis and Lisa are thinking of making the move here...”

“I’m already here”

“I know you are, dear. But you can’t chase after your Mami forever”

“I’m pretty sure I can. I mean, vampire and that”

Lance injected scoff into his tone. He didn’t want to seem as jealous as he was. He’d always thought he’d had a special bond with his Mami, and the rest of his family all had families of their own... except for Rachel. She’d had a troubled life, thanks to him

“You know what I mean”

“I do, but you don’t get to think that you’re rid of me anytime soon”

“I wouldn’t dream of such freedom”

His Mami was viscous

“Now, give me hug. This old body doesn’t always like cooperating”

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 511

Ok so this episode is like the perfect embodiment of my love/hate relationship with the books. And the show, but since the author wrote it, the books too, and her writing/plotting in general. I hated the other episode she wrote so my expectations going into this were *rull* low.

This episode was like a series of character-driven vignettes, which is what I like most about her writing (and why I bother even sticking around): random scenes here and there that I really enjoy as standalone bits. But, in true Outlander fashion, it also like ticked a lot of the boxes for stuff plot-wise that I can’t stand. Namely, yet more violence against multiple women, Marsali and Fergus getting shortchanged, Lord John crossing just over the creepy line for a sec with Jamie and the situation with Ulysses’ legal status. It didn’t check the rape box, but we may have to revisit that next week. I sure as fuck hope we don’t have to, but seeing as this show never met a rape it didn’t think was ToTaLlY nEcEsSaRy to include... *preemptive sigh*

Show-wise this very much felt like a penultimate episode and in that respect it accomplished what it was supposed to. In the overall arc of the season though, much like when considering the whole book series, a few solid standalone scenes here and there do not equal a good whole. To be in this fandom is to be an expert in eating around the moldy parts of the bread to get a few nibbles of good stuff.

Anywho, SCIENCE!JIZZ 5EVA!

Fuck yeah PB&J, and Claire is forgiven for not mastering fluff yet. But fluffernutters are also a staple in any growing kid’s diet.

Poor burned girl. It’s not her fault she vaguely resembles a walker so I spent the whole time thinking about TWD.

Omfg I got like PTSD flashbacks when I saw that dress in the title card. KILL THAT DRESS WITH FIRE!

There may not be fluffernutters, but Bree and Claire fluff and Young Ian and Jemmy fluff are good substitutes.

This kid is adorbs tho.

They’ve been really blasé about mentioning time travel in front of folks this season. First Marsali and now Young Ian. The latter will be remedied, but I’m still lowkey annoyed that Fergus and Marsali aren’t brought into the circle of trust... Esp. when there was a perfect opportunity for it later on.

I cannot with men, tbh. Seeking justice for a daughter who’s been “dishonored” by killing the dude is like the most overused trope of toxic masculinity ever. And now we’re supposed to be all like oh look how relatable the Brown guy is! Because our tropey men wanted to kill a dude like that last week! Hard pass. Also, fucking his kid wasn’t raped, she loves a guy who happens to be married, but everything was super consensual. Sooo like double gross points for you, dude.

And yes, I know it’s ThE pAsT, but I am not in the past, I am in the present, and the show is airing in the present, so thinking this sort of behavior is gross is totes ok. So the fucked up squad of randos who always jump into my notes about how they like “their men to be men” can just shove it, ok? Ok.

They’re like really not subtle with the foreshadowing this episode are they. But then again, when has subtlety ever been a thing on this show. That’s a nice still you got there, shame if anything were to happen to it...

I’m really digging the decor in this living room.

Oh hey! They finally decided to stop pretending like Young Ian was dumb and didn’t notice literally *gestures* everything about Claire.

I’m still salty they never told Jenny and Ian in S3 tbh.

Shockingly, considering who wrote it, so much of this episode is directly from the books. So I’m sure the Cult of Herself folks will be obsessed. And like yeah, some of the stuff in this episode is some of the bits I really like from the books as individual little scenes. However! I know some in the cult will use this as a reason why the show should StAy TrUe To ThE bOoKs more. And please, for the love of fuck, fight that instinct. Parts of this episode aren’t good “because they’re from the book,” they’re good because they’re emotional moments between characters, which is where both the books and the show are strongest. “Sticking with the book” on everything would make an already not great show even worse. I mean, the show ain’t great, but thank fuck they’ve streamlined the book stuff as much as they have.

Yes, I did notice the Pamela easter egg from the book. No, I’m not one who gets excited about shit like that.

Aaand here we get the problematic af bit about Ulysses and his legal status. In the book, he was offered freedom and turned it down to stay with Jocasta. Which is twelve kinds of fucked up. Here, he *is* a free man and he chooses to stay and cosplay an enslaved person so he can chill with Jocasta? FUCK THAT NOISE. That is some “benevolent slave owner” bullshit. They don’t get overt with the Ulysses and Jocasta are banging stuff from the book, which is also epically fucked up considering the power dynamic and how a fuckton of men enslaved their own fucking kids because they’d raped the mothers and children take the status of the mother. I’m glad they didn’t come right out and say that. But it’s like lowkey implied and even if it’s not supposed to be taken as canon, having a Black man be given the option to get the fuck out of there and choose to stay with someone who enslaves other Black people is like some dangerous white fanfic nonsense.

Also, thinking about the slave/master relationship dynamic today really makes me wish I saw Jeremy O. Harris’ play while it was running...

Oh yay, Bree and Roger are actually leaving. Much like the Bonnet shit, credit where credit’s due, I’m glad they’re not dragging the will they/won’t they go out for another season.

Don’t sound so butthurt that you didn’t get to murder a guy, Jamie.

Poor Young Ian. Buddy needs a hug. And more screentime for his story. Like, do we really need something else traumatic to happen to Claire when we could explore family dynamics instead? This time with Young Ian and his wife and their Mohawk family?

THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER WAYS TO HAVE DRAMA AND CONFLICT THAT CAN TAKE UP THE RUNNING TIME OF A SEASON THAT DON’T INVOLVE CONSTANTLY PUTTING THE WOMEN IN PHYSICAL DANGER.

Lol at the thought of LJG “working the land.” Like, buddy, have you seen yourself?

“No doubt there a great many things I shall miss about being here.” Don’t make it weird bro.

Yes, I know he’s like gonna miss their friendship and stuff. But he’s always been just a smidge too intense about it. And by a smidge I mean the gay guy openly in love with his straight best friend a gross trope and I don’t like it.

Ok so if we’re following the “rules” of the show that the production used to recite ad nauseam to justify why Jamie and Claire barely seemed to even like each other for a few seasons (”they’re married, we don’t need to see them fuck!” “we already know they love each other, it’s a given!”), this sex scene shouldn’t exist. Because it’s really not essential to the plot. Which just proves the “rules” are and always were bullshit excuses. And the author/writer of this episode def spouted that bullshit too, so she can also shove it.

Because this scene *should* exist and those “rules” *were* complete crap. Because Jamie and Claire are very sexual/physical people and, especially when they’re going through things, use sex to center themselves where they are and in their relationship. Bree and Roger are leaving. Jem’s leaving. They’re sad about that. But they’re also happy that they made a family and got to be together as a family and are glad to have had that chance. (And, they just like to fuck.) So of course this is a good character moment. This is the kind of shit we should be seeing instead of just a constant barrage of plot and violence. And the crew can fuck all they off with their not at all convincing talking points about “rules.”

Also this is a much better use of sex than them constantly having them fuck after a fight instead of actually working through the issue between them.

Also, fuck yeah, get it gurrrl.

SCIENCE!JIZZ! (I’m gonna need a gif of Claire’s face when Jamie’s figuring it out because that’s gonna be in heavy reaction rotation.

I just love Claire fuck yeah science Beauchamp.

It’s also another scene that does nothing to advance the plot, but is a nice respite from the constant trauma. The show has yet to find a balance between the two, which is annoying af because they’ve had five seasons to figure it out. So like whenever there is fluff, folks pounce on it like starving animals. Which some in the crew (and some fans) like to point out like “see, you all like everything now!” Or “look, why are you whining so much, we gave you this!” Or “wow you hate the show but now you like this part? Hypocrite.”

But like, no, that’s not what it means. Not giving someone water for days and then throwing them a small canteen doesn’t mean everything is hunky dory. It’s still super fucked up. So no, enjoying the fact that there are a few fluffy scenes in an episode doesn’t mean the show is good. If they made more of an effort to center the characters and spread the fluff around a bit more instead of waiting until there was like trauma fatigue and throwing in a fluffy life raft, the show as a whole would be stronger.

</rant>

Ok it’s super fucked up they hadn’t told Bree about Willie yet, but I’m glad Jamie is the one who tells her.

“And it wasn’t a matter of love between us, but it was her choice, and that’s all I’ll say about it.” BECAUSE SHE RAPED HIM. COERCION IS NOT CONSENT AND ALL THE PEOPLE WHO ARE STILL TALKING ABOUT HOW “HOT” THAT SCENE WAS ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING AND THE PRODUCTION IS DISGUSTING FOR SHOOTING A FUCKING RAPE IN THE MANNER THEY DID. AND ALSO FUCK THEM FOR HAVING IT BE A RAPE IN THE FIRST PLACE WHEN IT COULD HAVE SO FUCKING EASILY BEEN CONSENSUAL.

This show is so fucking not good.

This scene with Jamie and Brianna is super nice, but like, we saw nothing of them building their relationship. He didn’t even fucking hug her after Murtagh died. The scene loses so much of what it could have had because they never did the legwork to show us what they mean to each other.

It’s the same old shit they pulled with Claire and Jamie. “Oh they’re together and endgame so we don’t actually need to show you them building and working on their relationship that much. Because you know they’re together so just go with it.” Like no? Fuck you? That’s not how this works?

FERGUS AND MARSALI DESERVE BETTER!

Of course Marsali’s preggo again. Why the fuck should she do anything but spit out babies. Also, THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECT TIME TO HAVE THE FRASER KIDS TALK ABOUT TIME TRAVEL.

And Bree’s become a sister to Marsali? We saw one fucking scene of them together. See above rant. Fucking show us them becoming sisters. Sorry to interrupt your constant stream of violence and trauma, but fucking actually SHOWING characters building relationships instead of TELLING us they did the thing is how this is fucking supposed to work.

I’m rull pissed we never got quality Fraser kid bonding, y’all.

And ditto with this scene with Lizzie. We saw more of Bree and Lizzie than Bree and Marsali, but like we never really saw them becoming friendly post Bree’s rape and Rogergate.

All the goodbyes are like making me feel inch deep feelings because they’re rooted in nothing we’ve actually seen. And I’m not a Bad Fan or dumb for not filling in the feelings myself. I’m the viewer. It’s not my job to fill in the show’s gaps. It’s the show’s job not to have emotional gaps.

Oh hey! Another shitty man who hurts his wife and another woman trapped in a physically abusive relationship who thinks the abuse is her fault! On Outlander? Who’da thunk they’d have something like this?!

I’m so tired, y’all. So. Fucking. Tired.

I HOPE YOUNG IAN FINDS HAPPINESS TOO, ROGER.

Ok but for real, every time Lord John talks about how Willie and Bree are like Jamie it has that gross tinge to it. Like I know he’s not meaning it like a creeper, but they leaned so fucking hard into him being so into and not over Jamie that the layer of grossness is always there.

Also like, grannie and grandda, we got like one scene of Claire and Jamie playing with Jem. WE COULD HAVE FELT SO MANY MORE FEELINGS ABOUT THEM BEING SEPARATED IF ONLY THEY HAD TAKEN THE TIME TO BUILD THE RELATIONSHIPS ON SCREEN.

Claire making everyone PB&Js is fucking adorable and I love her.

Old timey forks will never not be fucking weird looking.

“And now it’s just you and me again.” Uh, Fergus, Marsali and Young Ian might be a tad offended by that sentiment, Clairebear.

Ok but like do they really think a rope is gonna hold up to fucking magic time travel rocks? It’s gotta just be like a mental security blanket thing, right? Because if not, loooooooooool.

Ok but the really just let their kiddo run off like that in the middle of the magic time travel rock circle? Dumbasses.

Ok but like what’s the betting they ended up in like a RenFest type thing and think they haven’t traveled but they have and it’s like lol look at them fitting in with their old timey clothes vs. skipping them going back to the future and doing the going adventuring around the even past-er past part but with them all together instead of Roger and Buck?

I’m just hoping it’s something completely different than the books because I have zero interest in Bree and Roger in the 20th century and hate the Roger and Buck nonsense with a fiery passion.

Erm, that’s a little close to the house to build a privy, my dudes.

Is the setting a guy’s dislocated shoulder thing supposed to be a cute callback? Because like hey wink wink, first she was kidnapped and then set a shoulder and now she’s setting a shoulder and then getting kidnapped is kind of a fucked up “joke.”

But how about we get more of Nurse!Marsali and less of Marsali just being constantly preggo.

“Sort of like the opposite of what you do when ya joint a hog.” I JUST LOVE NURSE!MARSALI A LOT OK.

Aaand now that we’re all good and docile little fans who have been placated with some fluff and Fraser fucking as a treat, we can go back to the regularly scheduled violence against women. Because we literally just had a violent abduction last week. So clearly it’s time for another.

Everything in this story has been done before...

I swear to fuck, if they do the thing I think they’re gonna do next week, I hope they get rightfully dragged by fucking everyone.

And if by some fucking miracle of Caitriona putting her foot down they don’t do the thing next week, they get zero brownie points. You don’t get rewarded for doing what you should have done the whole time.

And of course the closing is Jamie lighting Flaming Dildo 2.0. His men swore oaths to him, not any government or crown, and protecting his family has always been the top thing for Jamie. So good choice there with saving Claire being the reason he calls up the men.

[fluxedbuds]

can you go off about lalnable

ugly bitch idiot becomes a serial killer instead of going to therapy

But seriously, my take with Lalnable has always been more on the ‘fuck this guy’ side than the ‘poor sympathetic monster’ side. I don’t like seeing this guy woobified, especially because it tends to go some really concerning directions. I won’t get into it, because that’d be like slapping a label that says ‘come have discourse at me’ on my face, but let it be known, this guy ain’t got any excuses.

I’m not touching Lalnable’s potential childhood, because THATS a whole mess with no canon answer, but I do think he started out as pretty much a regular Lalna. Keep in mind, even the nicest, softest Lalna, FB Lalna, thought it was completely fine to repeatedly dunk a live bird in molten metal, because it didn’t die. And I think it’s pretty much still the state he’s in when he gets hired into Yoglabs.

Now, this is where you might start to think, ‘well gee, tumblr user Fluxed Buds, wouldnt it be easy for Yoglabs to twist that lack of moral understanding into something worse? wouldnt it mean its not his fault?’ And you’d be like, five percent right! The thing is, though, even Bird Torturer Lalna wouldn’t be any kind of okay with the kind of shit Lalnable ends up doing- there’s no boiling the frog situation possible, because there’s NO easy transition point into being the kind of person Lalnable becomes. At least one Lalna has quit Yoglabs because it was too evil, theres no reason Lalnable wouldn’t have been able to do the same, or at Least escape somehow. What I think happened is Yoglabs provided an environment where Lalnable could get away with doing horrible things extremely personally, and Lalnable took that and RAN.

There’s no evidence that Honeydew, Xephos, or any of the testificate scientists end up doing the shit Lalnable does. This isn’t an environment that’s forcing people to become like Lalnable, it just doesn’t provide many roadblocks. So, like Xephos lying about Lalnable being a clone, he’s lying about why he got locked up. Employee death is just an inconvenience. Lalnable got locked up for disagreeing with how cloning should work. I’ve had a post about this in the works for a while, but my theory is that Lalnable thought clones should be a brainless workforce, mostly because he Absolutely Could Not Handle the idea of another him running around without being under his control. Which, yknow, isn’t super weird of a hangup, pretty much every Lalna has it, and I’d wager a lot of real people would have similar objections. The problem is, Lalnas are stubborn little fucks, and when Xephos wouldn’t listen, Lalnable went ballistic and started fucking Everything up. So, stick him in a cage, pry him for info until you don’t need him, then put him in stasis for stable DNA.

So, the one thing Lalnable is justified about is being pissed about all that, because Xephos was a jerk and betrayed him, and also fuck Yoglabs. And thats one of three times Lalnable has ever been right in his whole life!

So, yknow, once he’s out of Yoglabs, he’s super got no excuse to kill/kidnap/enslave entire towns and whatnot, so any chance of him being sympathetic is long gone. Dude’s a piece of shit and won’t wash his goddamn clothes. But he does have some interesting psychology I can pry apart at this point!

So, first off- the name and aesthetic change, the color contacts, the voice changer- He’s trying to force control over the clone situation. He knows he doesn’t have any hope of controlling his clones, so he tries to fix it for himself by trying to make it so there aren’t copies of him running around, because he’s now different from all of them. But that sort of evolves into hatred of his original self, his real voice and name and appearance. So, that’s a little sympathetic, but he could’ve decided to be like properly goth or something so I don’t feel bad for him he looks like an idiot

Lalnable doesn’t care about justifying his actions, which does mean he’s a lot more powerful than some other yogs villains. He’s got nothing holding him back, his only setbacks are directly caused by other people fucking with him. Lalnable is legitmately a scary threat! It’s easy to forget that when we get to see so much of him being a complete failure idiot, but he’s good at what he does, and what he does is crimes and evil.

He’s also excessively focused on revenge, which I think is kind of why he ends up abandoning it in the end. He was so focused on the concept that he didn’t even realize how generally impossible and ill-advised it is. Besides the obvious issues of time loops, after he creates Five, if he actually succeeded, he’d delete Five. And for once, he doesn’t Want to destroy someone. FB4 really skipped over so goddamn much of his development, and thats REALLY annoying, but it doesn’t seem like a wholly illogical endpoint. He’s kind of driven by an impossible goal- control over everything about how the world sees him. At some point, he probably realizes that destroying every single one of his clones wouldn’t bring him any more joy than just torturing the shit out of some rando! Or, at least, it’s not worth more to him than Five.

I enjoy the Lalnable-Five father daughter dynamic a lot (because it’s literally canon Lalnable says he’s her father dont TRY me), but it takes a while to really get to that point. When he first makes Five, he’s making her like any other clone he’d make for spying. She’s just another tool, a frail attempt to steal Nano from a clone who doesn’t deserve to know her.

Oh yeah, the second thing Lalnable has ever been right about! He seriously thinks Nano is cool as FUCK. Which she is! It’s not a romantic interest for sure, I’m pretty sure Lalnable hasn’t thought about romance in like 10 years, it’s more of a fascination. I don’t think he’s really interested in friendship, but he wants that kind of power on his side, he wants to see how it works, and most of all, he doesn’t want some clone getting to even be near it. Five offering the side-switch deal to Nano was something both the Baddies agreed on.

Anyways, back to Five. While she starts out as a tool, they do end up growing closer, and for once, Lalnable isn’t a total bitch idiot about it. Unfortunately, he does spend a lot of time pointing out how Five is better than Nano because he made her, and through that making Five obsessed with Staying better than Nano, because if she’s not, Lalnable might abandon her. So, he’s Dad, but he starts out as a truly awful dad that should be dropkicked. I think Five’s confusion and fear over how absolutely focused he is on destructive and impossible revenge is part of what makes him reconsider too, although I guess we’ll never know for sure. They’re both still comfortably evil as all hell, but it’s settling into a weird sort of manageable space for the buddies, and thats probably the best we’re gonna get. Lalnable has no desire to be a good person and he never will.

The last thing Lalnable is ever correct about, is loving and appreciating Five for who she is as herself.

And then he wears those sunglasses and he stops being correct for the rest of his life.

TL;DR: serial killer develops identity issues, gives daughter identity issues, trades identity issues for a second daughter and disgusting sunglasses

[ambootyos]

Deception Pt. 1

Is There A Rule Book?

Adam x Reader x Finn

Plot-No strings attached always gets messy when new people get involved

Tags- @reigns420 @glittercupcakes-and-squats @capwasright @originalbish98

If you wanna be tagged, ask.

Warnings- language and sexual themes

A/N: I’m back! *return of the Mack plays*

“Y/N, come on. It’s been three years, if he’s not calling you his girlfriend by now, he’s never gonna.” Kyle sighs, Bobby nodding silently in agreement.

Roderick cocks his head.

“This is why you should’ve just hooked up with me, I’d have married you by now.” He teases.

I love these guys, I truly do, but they never could understand that my ‘love life’ was my concern, and my concern only.

“It’s called a fling for a reason.” I reply, trying once again to steer them straight and make it very clear that it’s not up for discussion.

“For three years?” Bobby judges. “Three years is not a fling.”

“I know this is Adam we’re talking about, but at some point you guys are just gonna have to use the word ‘dating’ and get the fuck over yourselves.” Kyle chuckles.

That’s the thing, did he know who we were talking about? Did he truly understand it? Adam wasn’t exactly who I saw fathering my future children. He was hot, and we’d known each other for a long time. It was exactly what we needed it to be.

“Can you guys just stay out of it? Like for once?” I huff.

Kyle rolled his eyes, and Bobby shrugged me off. Roderick never really gave a shit, and was more or less just talking about it to get under my skin, so his reaction was a sly smirk of satisfaction.

“Let’s just, talk about work, mkay?” I suggest, rubbing my forehead.

“So Finn being back is odd, right?” Roderick states.

The group nods in agreement.

“I’m glad to have him, but yes, it’s odd to see him in our neck of the woods.” Bobby replies.

Finn was a nice change of scenery in my opinion. New competition, new storylines to be had, etc. However, Finn was different. We’d never really interacted. Not personally. Sure he’d had his moments with Adam, or with the other Undisputed Era guys, but I didn’t play any part in that. I didn’t know Finn from atom, and it wasn’t like he was dying to meet me either, so I just thought it best to steer clear.

“Y/N, what do you think?” Kyle asks pulling me from thought.

“I think he’s good for the brand.” I shrug, nothing else to say but that.

We carried on without conversation a while longer before they left to do media, or whatever else. Adam was busy resting up from the long week he’d had that ended at Survivor Series, which left me as a party of one, to drink alone at the bar for who could say how long.

“Well, it’s good ‘ta see a familiar face.”

I heard a voice I recognized say I glanced over to see the talk of the brand himself, Finn Balor, sitting not too far away from me. I smiled, and took his hello as an invitation to sit next to him, though maybe it wasn’t, because he seemed confused by it. He didn’t say anything about it though so it didn’t bother him too much.

“Y/N, right?” He asks, his face expressionless.

I nod.

“Yep, that’s me.” I shrug in response, before sitting my drink and phone on the bar close to his.

“How’s ‘ya boyfriend? He ‘ad a pretty rough week.”

It takes me a few seconds to realize he means Adam, and I breathe a laugh, it seems I can’t escape the assumption me and Adam are more than what we say we are.

“He’s not my boyfriend.” I explain, ignoring the question. He cocks his brow.

“Oh?” He starts. “So ‘yer single ‘ven?” He asks.

I clear my throat, and tuck my hair behind my ear.

“Well..not exactly..we have a thing..we’re just not exclusive.”

He tilts his head, and gives me a cocky smirk, that tells me he either doesn’t believe me when I say we aren’t ‘exclusive’ or that he wouldn’t care if we were.

“So..single.” He states, not asking me this time, just declaring it to see if I’ll argue. I don’t. I am technically single. Though, I didn’t really want another fling with someone else either. I didn’t want my workplace getting too complicated.

“So, Adam, hm?” He chuckles.

“What’s funny?”

He shrugs.

“I coulda seen ‘ya dating ‘im. But, he doesn’t seem fuck buddy material.”

I can’t help but chuckle.

“And, why is that?”

“I dunno. He seems too..childish? Like I can’t imagine ‘im being any fun in bed. He seems too focused on making ‘imself look good.”

“He’s plenty fun.”

“Plenty?” He questions. “Are ‘ya suggesting there’s more fun ‘ta be ‘ad?”

I clear my throat and roll my eyes.

“Why? You have someone in mind?” I mock.

His smirk grows, and he looks me up and down, before biting his bottom lip.

“I might.” He flirts.

I feel heat creep up my face onto my cheeks, and I swallow the lump in my throat.

“Um..oh..I didn’t realize you wanted-”

He cuts me off.

“I said, might. I gotta know ‘wha ‘yer up for first.” He teases. “So, if ‘ya are interested,” He starts, before scribbling something on a piece of paper, and sliding it to me. “‘Dat’s my ‘numba.”

“Putting it off for another time?” I question, puzzled as to why he only made an agreement to make a move in the future and not just doing it now. He chuckled, and gave me a look that almost felt like a judgement.

“Darling, ‘ya aren’t ready ‘fer ‘wha I can do ‘ta you.” He winked, before taking his leave.

I cleared my throat and swallowed. I felt a strange sense of anxiety walking hand in hand with excitement. I didn’t know what to think about Finn’s offer outta nowhere. It was tempting. But would it be okay?

I know it’s not cheating. But, is it still wrong? Adam is my friend, and even if this is just sex is it wrong to have sex with someone else we work with? Isn’t it at least weird?

Who could I even talk to about this? Roderick never had solid advice, and certainly not Kyle or Bobby. They’d act like my cocerns for what might be considered an ‘unspoken rule’ is just repressed feelings for Adam. Or, they’d get mad at me for asking them because they-for some dumbass reason-probably think it’d hurt Adam’s feelings.

Would it?

It’s not like he and Finn were besties, but they didn’t hate each other. Was there any clear reason he’d be upset? One that doesn’t exist only in Kyle’s head, of course.

I pushed it from my mind for the time being. I decided it was best to just go to my hotel and sleep away the thoughts I had.

I didn’t hear from the guys again that night, so I was able to sleep peacefully, though, Finn’s smirk when he said I wasn’t ready, was still fresh in memory.

---

The next day, I sped through my morning routine. Shower, hair up in a bun, little to no makeup, jeans and a t-shirt, and out the door to meet my friends at the arena.

Adam seemed to be in a better mood now that he’d had some, even if it was just a few days of it, healing time.

He smiled when he saw me.

“Good to see you’re alive, since you didn’t answer any of my texts last night.” He teased.

“Well Adam, to be fair, you can only answer that ‘u up?’ text so many times before it gets old.” Roderick chuckles earning an eye roll from Adam.

I cock my brow.

“You didn’t text me..” I trail off.

“Yeah I did! Like twenty times!”

I take my phone out of my pocket and realize it isn’t mine, meaning it must be Finn’s.

“Shit! I grabbed the wrong phone at the bar last night.” I facepalm. “Excuse me.” I walk out of ear shot almost like I have to hide who’s phone it is. I call my own number, only to hear it ring from down the hall.

Finn, shows me that he has it with a goofy smile on his face as he hands it back to me.

“For a not-boyfriend, pretty boy seems ‘ta blow ‘yer phone up a lot.” He says, not giving me a chance to grab my phone myself as he slides it into the back pocket of my jeans, letting his hand linger, for a second longer than he should.

My back stiffens, and he cocks his head, and hums like he’s making an assumption.

“Still not ready ‘fer me.” He shrugs. “Dat’s okay. I can wait..” He flirts.

I feel like he’s challenging me in a way, and it makes me wanna prove him wrong. He goes to take his phone and I pull it back causing him to raise his brows, and await what I’m gonna do next. I grab his belt loop and pull him closer, before using my other hand to put his phone in the waistline of the front of his jeans, and smiling up at him.

“Don’t wait too long.” I wink, causing him to bite his lip. I give him a devilish grin before walking away. Back to my friends. I feel the blush creep onto my cheeks, as my thoughts tell me I should’ve kissed him, or let my hands travel even further.

The guys are talking about something, I’m paying no mind to.

“This is what happens when you don’t answer your phone!” Roderick teases, pulling me into the conversation I was too distracted to of heard any of. Now I feel guilty for being elsewhere, like I’ve let Finn overshadow my friends, overshadow Adam.

“Huh?” I question, hoping they’ll repeat it without asking me what my thoughts were consumed with seconds earlier.

“He hooked up.” Kyle states rolling his eyes.

“Oh!” I reply, a little surprised by it.

Don’t get me wrong, Adam was allowed to fuck whoever he wanted, but since me and him started sleeping together, we barely slept around at all.

“I didn’t know you weren’t getting my texts or I would’ve just went and saw you. I thought you were asleep.” He explains, like he needs to justify it.

Kyle clears his throat.

“Why would she care? She’s not your girlfriend.” He says, waiting for my reaction.

I roll my eyes at him, something Adam doesn’t see because Kyle never bothers him with his ‘big brother bullshit’ talk.

“I didn’t think she’d care. But it would’ve been easier to see her, so I’m just trying to give her shit for grabbing someone else’s phone.” He laughs.

Like I assumed. We were nothing. So why the hell was I so worried about Finn? There aren’t any rules if you’re nothing but friends.

Kyle still has an ‘I told you so’ aura wrapped around him. Gosh, I just wanna fucking scream at him I was with someone else too.

“Sorry! I was busy, stealing some hot guys phone by accident.” I say, pretending to be embarrassed.

“Ooh, phone guy is hot?” Adam chuckles, while Kyle furrows his brows, still unconvinced as if he ever would be anyway. I shrug with a smile.

“Devilishly.”

[zukkatrash]

im pretty sure nobody wants this content but:

aged up, no bending atla x fallout 4 crossover!!!

(spoilers for some atla and fo4 stuff obviously, and in sukis part i rant abt the ending where ur against the brotherhood, so major spoilers for that too)

lets start with katara

katara is a minuteman, no lets be real shes the goddamn general, preston took one look at her and immediately knew she'd protect the people of the commonwealth with all she had

elder maxon is actually scared of her, which is why he refuses to let her on the prydwen so none of his underlings see him fold under her stare

shes probably the first minuteman that hancock like actually truly respects bc he knows shes 100% abt the ppl and goodneighbors motto is literally "of the people for the people"

katara is a probably a bit conflicted about him at first bc u know hes a bit ruthless for her taste, but she can see his heart's in the right place

she definitely helped marcy long with her grief and turned her anger into smth productive, aka marcy is now probably a high ranking minuteman

sokka

def a railroad agent (i read alchemy, sue me)

him and tinker tom are the best buddies and yes sokka got convinced to drink his weird serum thing, stop bringing it up!!

god just the crazy inventions those two would cook up, they'd probs scare the shit out of the institute

on topic of the institute, theres probably like at least one abduction attempt from them a month but hes not only smart but a badass too

hes also one of the only people dr. amari is actually nice to and will routinely rescue him from irmas relentless flirting

he definitely fanboys with kent collony over the shroud

i feel like deacon would drive him mad, because on one hand he gets the secrecy and that he doesn't want anyone to get too close but also deacs, my man u cant shut everyone out with ur lies

okay now im thinking abt them bonding over their dead gfs and am sad

when he meets nick he has to hold back soooo hard to not ask invasive questions, bc nick is basically a walking insight into the institute, but hes alao a person who sokka respects and really doesn't wanna be an ass to

toph

also with the railroad(but shes a heavy ofc), probably mostly bc shed get more action there

sokka and tinker tom def made her some really cool gadget à la seismic sense so shes still a BEAST

she can also hear a raider ambush/lurking wildlife before anyone else and if shes not with anyone who needs to avoid that kinda stuff she pulls out her trusty missile launcher and makes quick work of her enemies

probably participates in cage matches at the combat zone and raiders shit their pants when they see her

toph is either dating glory or cait or both, cant decide, just badass wlw

or maybe fahrenheit 🤔, i mean the only refrence of tophs type we have is that she mightve had a crush on sokka who is not only strong but smart and u cant tell me fahr isnt smart, she might only have like 5 lines but at least one of them is abt chess which is a common shorthand for intelligence and she is undoubtedly a badass so yes toph and fahr! never thought id think of those two as a ship but here we are haha

zuko

is the silver shroud, you can't change my mind he's a righteous theatre kid ofc he's the shroud

suki

also a minute man, probably kataras second in command

shes the one training the minutemen at the castle

danse tried so desperately to recruit her but suki is too smart to fall for the bos' bullshit

probably plays into his whole spiel tho to get an inside look at the bos and takes them down from the inside

and not by blowing the ship up wtf there are kids on the prydwen what the fuck why cant u get them out beforehand??? why is that the only option to get the bos out of the commonwealth???? they steal poor farmers crops ffs i want them gone! WITHOUT killing innocent children that are being indoctrinated what the fuck

aang

im actually having a really hard time to imagine aang in fo4 bc u know its a biiit violent for a pacifist monk but i really dont wanna just make him a farmer or some boring shit, its just that stuff usually needs killing in some way in fo4

okay nvm i can def picture him on the island mediating that whole conflict between arcadia, the children of the atom and far harbor

oh god aang finding out how dima kept the 'peace' would be a brutal fucking scene, i dont wanna spoil too much if possible but aang would def feel really betrayed by dima

i can see aang arriving at the island and really trying to make everyone understand that dima only wants arcadia to be safe and left alone and i have no idea how he would actually deal with dima once the truth comes out but fuuck, bending or not aang def entered the avatar state there

but just to be clear he still protects arcadia, just bc its built by smn who thinks the ends justify the means doesnt mean that synths dont deserve to live in fucking peace for once

also aang would absolutely adore erikson and his puppies ^^

but back to the commonwealth

aang would for sureee advocate against the mind wipes the railroad makes and try to find other ways to help synths

he probs cannot deal with desdemonia saying that erasing the synths memory and identity is the only way to keep them safe, aang knows what loss means and he wont stand for it

and i can see him do a lot of the actual building in the settlements and helping all those small communities to flourish

now for the crack, as in i dont think this is in character but i thought of it so now yall have to read abt it:

the fire nation is in nuka world, also there is no overboss per se bc except for like 3 lines we know nothing of colter

ozai leads the operators, but also kinda everyone, so basically the overboss

post breakdown, pre redemption azula leads the disciples

zhao leads the pack bc like mason hes an animal and i hate him ^^

gage is dead bc unfortunately ozai isnt dumb, altho ozai was dumb enough to underestimate zuko when he literally told him his plan to join the gaang, but then again gage didnt like colter bc he didnt get shit done and unfortunately ozai does get shit done so gage is probably delighted :(

if anyone actually read this and wants to add on pleaseee do!!!

[seddm]

One week later

I think that this time, despite the magnitude of what happened in the show, managed to have a mostly non-kneejerk reaction to it, but a week (and a looot of thinking) later, I think I got a better understanding about how and why I feel about this episode, S4 so far, and the show’s future as a whole. Going to make this a bullet-point style list because making a single conversation about all of this would be either too long, or end up feeling disconnected at times anyway. Bad things first, then the good ones to close on a positive note, for a change.

THE BAD

- The thing I always loved the most about this show has been its ability to use individual events and interactions between the characters in almost any given segments, even ones more fillery in nature, as a way to slowly advance the growth of the characters from a pre-established Big Event™ to the next one. This always gave the show an aura of strong continuity despite its storyboard driven and episodic nature, and allowed me to claim that even events clearly facilitated by some sort of plot based compulsion (such as the Truth Cube in Sleepover, or the photo booth in Booth Buddies) were still largely natural, just more flashy ways to push the characters in directions they were already taking.

The first episodes of S4, up to Curse of the Blood Moon, didn’t really do this. They felt heavily more compartmentalized than the usual: S3 ended in an explosive way that seemingly set up all the characters for immediate changes or payoff, but then this current season kinda ignored that. Not completely, because both Moon Remembers and Ransomgram has Marco tell Star things like “rip the bandaid off” and “own up to your mistakes”, which could be clearly applied to the “Tell Tom about the kiss” situation (never mind that she didn’t do that, it was still relevant and her going the wrong way about it was part of the point), but between an increased focus on plot and plot exclusively, and a two parter season premiere that chose to focus exclusively on finding Moon (reasonable decision, really, but it ended up making 40 minutes of show feel a bit empty on the emotions side, in my very subjective opinion), Curse of the Blood Moon seemed to happen a bit out of the blue, especially considering that Star and Marco’s feelings were apparently so strong and so intrusive to justify even Tom being able to see them in the former case, and Eclipsa’s comfort and counseling having been needed multiple times offscreen in the latter. Things that we didn’t see at all in the first 7 episodes, with the exception of Star never reacting to Tom telling her that he knew the kiss with Marco didn’t really mean anything. It’s not a necessarily tragic scenario, especially if the show purposefully wanted to wait for Curse to kick start a new chapter in the shipping of the show, but this bridging between seasons taking one third of the last one felt a bit excessive and largely devoid of sufficient build up to me.

- Kelly / Kellco. Anyone who’s familiar with my blog should know that I always struggle to never insult ships, characters or elements from the show that other people might like. And even now I don’t want to cheapen the value of personal preferences at all, nor tell anyone “No, you can’t ship this!”. But at the same time I have to say that, in the context of the show, these new Kellco developments look (ready to eat back my words in the future, as usual) extremely pointless, and handled badly. Kelly feelings something for Marco, kinda unilaterally liking him, that’s something the fandom has been speculating ever since Lava Lake Beach. They shared an emotional moment over heart break, and then clearly developed a friendship from there, and hanged out more. Kelly’s lines in The Ponyhead Show then confirmed without doubt that she felt something from Marco, but that he seemed to be largely unaware and oblivious about it. Just like you’d expect Marco to be, especially a Marco who spent the previous season focusing on how strong and intrusive his feelings for Star were.

At this point essentially everyone, me included, expected for Kelly’s World to be used as a way to bring up Marco’s unrequited (as far as he knew) feelings once again, to introduce Curse of the Blood Moon. I expected Marco to either go something like “Sorry Kelly but I’m not ready to give up on my feelings for Star” or, at worst, a frustrated Marco who’d have thought and reflected about Kelly’s feelings for him. Instead, out of the extreme blue, we got a Marco who was uncharacteristically all too aware of the situation, going “I don't want these feelings for Star they're getting in the way of other feelings" while being all blushy and then being more than receptive to Kelly’s emotionally confused flirting. Now, if this was reality, there would be absolutely nothing weird in a kid like Marco being dual in his feelings, really liking Star while also being tired about all the pain those feelings have been bringing him for the better part of a year and being receptive to another girl being ready to jump his bones. But this is not reality, and these events absolutely lacked any form of proper build up, they were (wow, I can finally use the word Starco haters have been throwing around for years!) forced. Not entirely, but for a great deal. Jarco had Sleepover and Naysaya providing a strong buildup to the ship revolving around Marco overcoming some personal hurdles; even Tomstar didn’t immediately go for the ship after the well-timed dance in Club Snubbed, but first had Demoncism, giving some sort of basis to the exes getting back together, and Tom and Star had a pre-established relationship and we both knew that Tom still wanted Star, and that Star still had hung up feelings for Tom, if just physical attractions ones (from her behavior in Blood Moon Ball and Mr. Candle Cares, very spread out over the show, I admit). Meanwhile Kellco went from “ok they shared an important moment one season ago and Janna teased Kelly in a holiday special episode but after that their interactions have been nothing but background ones” to “Marco and Kelly lose track of time reading about fighting on a bench, then as the warm hues of the sunset wash over them they fight hand in hand, as one body and one spirit, and the fireworks and music happen and there’s more blushing in a single scene that there has been in the whole show and in all the kisses in it so far”. That’s... very, very, very heavy handed. Very “manipulative”. Especially since Kelly and Marco aren’t even properly together yet I guess, since Marco might have gotten over his feelings for Star (hahaha yeah as if), but as far as we know Kelly still isn’t completely over Tad. So where is this relationship going to go from now? Why does it exist? In what ways it doesn’t shit on what Jarco already taught Marco? How is it going to “end” once Marco inevitably realizes he still feels thing for Star without making Kelly look like a throwaway rag? Obviously I don’t have the arrogance to assume I know how things are going to play out from here on, so who knows, maybe Kellco is going to be part of an important arc, but from where I’m standing, from what I know now, it’s hard not to see it as a hamfisted attempt at going “Haaaa these confused teens, it’s only fair that they get their share of experiences!”. Which is ok, sure, fine, but FICTION ≠ REALITY and things need some kind of build up and reason to happen. If it’s just supposed to be padding to keep the situation in a status quo for a while, “Marco is with Kelly and Tom is with Star and everything is right in the world and they don’t have to think about their feelings anymore” then... bleah.

- This is tangentially connected to both the previous points, and it’s not really THAT bad, just me being a bit nitpicky about a still legitimate direction the show decided to take: by having this constant comparison between THE OTHER SHIPS and STARCO, now stronger than ever after Curse, the former being very casual but also ultimately unrewarding, “we hold hands we blush a little and we are ready to kiss and be a couple”, while the latter being “dozens of life changing events are needed to progress the ship even by little; NOTHING BUT PAIN can ever come out of Starco for the people involved until it’s officially recognized as being completely and utterly full, pure, complete, mature and life lasting love”, can kinda give a wrong message about relationships and teen love, or an annoying one at least. “Hey kids, don't try to actually have fun or be happy with romance, because that's not how True Love™ works. If you actually find it kind of easy to be happy with your significant other, that isn't love!" [quote by @ngame989]. Obviously I’m using a hyperbole for the sake of clarity, and it’s clear that Star and Marco’s relationship is based on finding it easy to have fun together, always. But if we talk strictly about romance and the way the show approaches to it, it’s kinda undeniable that Starco has been nothing but a source of sadness so far, and the only genuine moment of happiness, this one, lasted about three seconds and overlapped with a realization of True Love.

By now I have fully accepted that the show is not going for an early Starco relationship to then show it growing and changing as the two make the first steps together, but that they’re waiting for a “ok we’re both completely sure this is what we want”, and it’s a completely fair direction for the show to take, but it also contributes to this “fetishization” of true love. Still, execution matters way more than the larger brush strokes in this case, so we’ll see.

- The timing. I’m going to talk about why this incoming arc can actually be a very good thing in a moment, but at the same time introducing the idea that the Blood Moon might have forced feelings now, 30% through the last season, when absolutely nothing before that ever referenced of foreshadowed it, and with essentially no references to the Ball throughout the show (last direct one was in Naysaya and it was Tom throwing shade at Marco...), feels kinda jarring to me.

- This is a bit more of a personal note, but not entirely: Star and Marco enter a dance in their memories with the specific goal of “destroying their feelings”. One minute into spending time together having fun without any kind of distraction for the first time in forever, they literally fall in love. Not crush, love. The whole setup of the Severing Stone’s function literally confirms that. What kind of tension can Kellco and Tomstar deliver now that we know that Star and Marco can and will fall in love with each other if given a moment to truly think about nothing but each other and themselves? The endgame was kinda clear before as well, but now it has officially ruined any chance at making other ships feel worthwhile - beyond their value for the growth of the characters involved, obviously. I mean their intrinsic value as a ship / source of romantic drama.

THE GOOD

- Even if I’m not a fan of the timing, I can see a lot of potential in an arc revolving around the question “Are these feelings genuine? Is Marco/Star the person I truly love and want to be with?”. Now, obviously we know that the feeling were genuine and that the Curse didn’t force anything, so it’s not really the answer to the question that matters. What’s important is how they’re going to get to that: by having Star and Marco more or less directly tackle this question in a context where there is apparently no sadness and pain brought from unwanted feelings, some positivity can FINALLY be associated with Starco as a romantic relationship. Obviously we don’t know how things are going to play out now, but if both dorks are now convinced that they are only friends (something that didn’t happen at the same time since early S2) they can enjoy their relationship to its absolute fullest, and see along the way, together this time, that they both want more. I don’t know if one or both of them lied about not having feelings anymore, or if it’s placebo effect, or if the Severing Stone has some lingering after effects. What I know is that these two now feel like they can be completely comfortable around each other once again, while still having all the feelings of friendship that were the base for the romance once already,

and that the last time they had a moment to truly be together with each other and enjoy their feelings to their fullest, they fell in love, like love for real, certified by the Severing Stone taking that moment away as a price.

So yes, we all know the answer to this question already (articulated a bit better by the show’s composer in this post),

- Curse of the Blood Moon as an episode itself is far from being without merits: it opens with a wonderful display of one of the many sides that make Star and Marco’s relationship so adorable, with the duo having a secret cereal date at night without waking up Meteora; shows how in sync and how well they understand each other (yes, this was a set up for the scene but you can’t tell me it’s the curse’s fault, that’s bullshit); it literally had Marco tell us that he likes every single thing about Star and her personality (again, not the curse’s fault. That’s bullshit.), and the dance itself was utterly perfect and pristine and had Starco fun, Starco flirting, and Starco love all happening the moment they could focus on each other and forget about the rest.  Also, while I’m not necessarily the biggest fan of Tom having achieved “good boy status” simply by getting slightly better with each episode instead of taking some affirmative action on the nature of his relationship with Star, I don’t mind seeing him helping his friends, at all. Sure, this can contributed to making him feel more “pathetic”, with scenes like the spat on the elevator apparently underlying a lack of compatibility between him and Star compared to her and Marco, as many other scenes before, and that’s the part I don’t particularly enjoy, but the overall journey he went through, that’s good. It should have featured more defining moments of change in my opinion, rather than a simple “little by little always better and gets points for trying”, but it’s still vastly preferable to a world where we can’t get some Tomco bromance moments, and this kind of relaxed situation, as infuriating as it can be at times, could potentially contribute to what I said in the first point, give Star and Marco the chance to understand what they feel for the other in a completely or almost completely positive way.

- This is connected to the first point and not necessarily an objectively good one on its own, more like something that further contributes to feeling like there’s potential for things to develop nicely from her on: the brunt of the romance in Starco fell on Marco for most of S3, at this point Star was less of an active player than him when it came to liking each other. But Star is the Main Main Character, we can’t have that happen. With this new turn of events, with things being “reset” into New Game +, the spotlight moves once again on Star and this time we can finally have the Main Main Character answer the question “do we love each other?”. Obviously Marco is surely going to have a role as well, he’s still a protagonist, but it’s Star’s story before anything else, and this “Free Will and Choices” arc can easily tie Eclipsa / ruling Mewni to Love, and strongly relate to the blonde (ex) princess.

- On the same note of “elements that makes one hopeful about the show’s potential but still don’t really confirm anything about what’s going to happen”, we have this quote from one of Adam’s interviews:

Adam describes Star as someone who is “all over the place” in terms of life as compared to Marco who unlike Star has yet to outwardly reveal his feelings. “But, she’s one of those people who so much stuff is going on for that she doesn’t necessarily, in my opinion, she doesn’t really have time for a romantic relationship. She’s too busy. She’s got a lot of things going on her plate,” he explains. “But, she’s one of those people who, in my opinion–I’m not saying this happens, I’m just saying this is why I like them–I feel like she’s going to be one of those people who is gonna stop one day and have a second to breathe and then dust is gonna settle and she’s gonna look and see through all the settling dust and fog that someone has been there with her the entire time and she’s gonna see Marco,”

and while there’s absolutely no way to confirm this, especially since everything Adam says is always nebulous PR talk that has to be taken with eighty grains of salt, looking at list of episode post-mid season finale suggests that this “dust settling down” might happen sooner than later, the second half(ish) of the season having way more episodes with titles suggesting either Earth things, or a generic downtime for the teens to focus a bit more on their own lives, and a little less of Eclipsa. Obviously there’s still necessarily going to be plot happening, but I can also see how they could be going (strong emphasis on the could) for a journey that allows Starco to finally happen in the series finale in an explosive way, with both Star and Marco being utterly sure that this is what they truly want, and that they love each other, not just like or crush.

Cornonation Doop-Doop / Britta’s Tacos Beach Day / Gone Baby Gone Sad Teen Hotline /  Jannanigans Mama Star /  Ready, Aim, Fire The Right Way /  Here to Help Pizza Party /  The Tavern at the End of the Multiverse Cleaved 

To conclude and sum up, my greatest issues so far are with the way S4 handled romance and relationships in its first 7 episodes, rather than with the new arc Curse of the Blood Moon apparently set out, or with the idea that the show is almost certainly going for series finale Starco (still kinda hoping for just a little something before that though, with the finale being the true celebration of what they have). It’s not the show I’d have liked the most, but it’s still one that has all the potential, so far, to honor the kind of build up Starco had, and the amazing characters Star and Marco are. But this first third personally disappointed me in a number of ways, and it kinda hinders my ability to fully trust this potential to actually become the reality of a good execution. But “hinders” doesn’t mean I completely lost any hope, and there are certainly dozens of ways to properly pull this off. We’ll see.

[retrauxpunk]

sv 6.03

i have just finished this episode. under the cut you will find my intensely spoiler-filled thoughts.

HOLY FUCKING SHIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT

oh my GODDDD

i saw this episode was titled Hooli Smokes! which is hilarious and adorable but i was kind of like ‘ehh i don’t ... like i really don’t care about the fate of gavin/hooli’ so i didn’t really think about it but now i’ve just watched it and OH MY GOD IT’S A FANTASTIC TITLE

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS HOLY FUCKING CHRIST ON A CREAM-CHEESE CRACKER

I SWEAR TO GOD IT TOOK ME LIKE 45 MINUTES TO WATCH THIS EPISODE BECAUSE THERE WERE SO MANY MOMENTS I WANTED TO PAUSE TO UNDERSTAND WHAT EXACTLY WAS GOING ON (because i’m a stickler / occasionally slow hahaha) IT WAS SO INTENSE

oh my lord

i’m gonna

try to do this in chronological order. okay. okay. so.

i’m super glad that richard didn’t sell to maximo because, you know, he’s a vile human being on a massive scale and is responsible for massive human rights abuses and so on, i don’t need to justify this!!

speaking of which i’m a liiittle bit disappointed that (in descending order) dinesh, gilfoyle, and monica (mostly dinesh) weren’t that on board with richard’s decision not to sell..... ............but whatevs it makes sense, it’s a billion dollars lmao fair enough money corrupts etc etc

so at this point richard’s fucked and this is such an intense episode it felt like the intensity of the first couple seasons, like, s2 for example, when there was so much going on all the time and i LOVE IT

jared trying to turn himself into the cops for assaulting richard? wow i. um. yeah look i found that a little touching. ngl. i find it interesting that he ... idk, is he doing it to punish himself or because he thinks he’s a danger to richard? i’m not sure. either way it’s a bit weird. but totally in keeping with jared’s character at this point, i feel.

JIAN-YANG’S MYSTERIOUS ILLEGAL OPERATION LMAO

it always makes me pleased when they don’t bother translating the foreign languages and it also makes me pleased when i can perfectly understand the bit they didn’t translate ;) 

i mean you can probably guess what he said to all the other chinese people but in case you’re curious it’s this: “come out, come out. the police have left, get back to work. come out. everyone come out, quickly quickly quickly! motherfucker...”

I LOVED the scene of richard and gavin chatting on the bench! it was just fun! also i did recognise the part where you think gavin’s gonna accept richard’s offer but actually he just says ‘fuck no’ from the season trailer and that’s why i don’t fully enjoy trailers because THEY GIVE STUFF AWAY! thankfully the only thing left from the trailer that i can remember is, IIRC, not something that gives away anything particularly suspenseful. hurray.

love the kombucha comment lmao

that scene with dinesh and gilfoyle chatting about karma just seemed a bit unncessary and not that funny, like, not funny enough to keep in?? but then it became clear at least why they had the interaction with wajeed, bc he came back later...

the phone call with jared! ... JARED’S EMOJI LMAO they were so hilariously fucking awkward of course i love them

THE PHONE CALL where he tells richard that gavin swooped in and bought gwart’s company when he heard she had good tech... YOU GO JARED. i mean. yeah he’s being a dick in this. but considering the buddy fucker thing and richard still not actually fucking apologising lmao (i know he has a lot on his plate! but come the fuck on, he had the chance!!) i .. don’t feel that bad for richard. and it’s like, this is the umpteenth time that richard has accidentally (via carelessness) screwed something over and all the other times jared’s not said a single bad thing about him (even with hoolicon, he objected to what they were doing, there was no attack on richard personally) ... so it makes sense and is totally understandable that it all came out now.

honestly i felt a bit vindicated by jared telling richard off, i mean, he deserved it. he did know that gavin’s a monster. and him getting called buddy fucker after relentlessly calling jared that after he was told/asked not to ... yeah.

LOOK i’m still not condoning jared breaking down a door and shooting him with a bb gun! because holy shit that’s fucking nuts.

but the buddy fucker thing? yeah look i don’t feel too bad for richard here.

FINDING OUT THEY CAN BUY HOOLI HOLY FUCKING SHIT I FUCKING LOVED THIS STORYLINE SO FUCKING MUCH OH MY GOD

MONICA GESTURING WORDLESSLY OUT THE WINDOW AND THEN WE SEE JARED IN SUNGLASSES PURPOSELY MARCHING INTO PIED PIPER LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING B.A.M.F. HOLY SMOKES

hooli smokes teehee

ALKSDJFLKSDFJLKGD i LOVE that he came up with this ingenious way to save pied piper and speaking of which i know jared says it’s not for pied piper, it’s for gwart so she can be free again -- i wonder how much of that is true? i ........... look i don’t buy that he truly didn’t do it AT ALL for pied piper. i think jared tells himself and maybe truly believes he did it solely for gwart but i think really he did it at least PARTLY for pied piper and richard. right??? that’s what i think.

oh my god jared keeping the sunglasses on presumably bc he can’t bear to make eye contact with richard in case he breaks down?? emotionally breaking down into sads, or flying into a mad rage? both are sad as fuck. or is it just because he’s so mad he doesn’t want to look him directly in the eye? also ouch.

THE DECISION TO BUY HOOLI WHILE GAVIN’S DOING HIS TRIATHLON HAHAH MOTHERFUCKER I LOVE IT it’s dirty as hell but you know what? i don’t care because gavin’s a fucking asshole like, even just looking at how he tried to sue piped piper, just from that i would ... like... i wouldn’t judge richard for fucking him over. and that’s just ONE thing he’s done! there’s also when he tried to steal pied piper at the end of season 5, and the fact that he’s a verbally abusive asshole, etc. etc.

FUCK THE FUCKER

but yeah oh my it was so evil but because it was pied piper doing it to gavin ........ it was very enjoyable. deliciously so.

oh man i feel bad for wajeed getting fucked over by dinesh. i........... sure hope dinesh makes it up to him somehow. i don’t think canonically that’s gonna happen (definitely not on screen!) but my headcanon is that at some point down the line maybe, when pied piper is successful and healthy again, dinesh pays wajeed back all the money he fucked him out of and wajeed forgives him eventually ................ yeah

didn’t expect to care this much about wajeed!

of course gavin would fake the triathlon. of course.

E-SIGNATURES! PAPER CONTRACTS! that’s why the e-signature thing was mentioned in 6.02!! at least i hope that’s why, i hope they’re not gonna do a thing later on when someone disastrously accidentally signs something ... or at least i hope it doesn’t cause irresolvable-by-series-end consequences lmao

HAHAH OMG THE RACE!! I LOVED IT!!!!!

how technologically plausible is it that gilfoyle hacked into the watches? from my hilariously unqualified opinion ... i think it seems okay. more plausible than some of the other stuff this show’s had at least. so it’s nice seeing something that doesn’t require as much suspension of disbelief.

GOD IT WAS SO TENSE WHEN THE DUDE WAS READING THE CONTRACTS

god I LOVED monica’s line ‘you’re really gonna let a woman tell you what to do?’ GENIUS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING GENIUS SHE IS AMAZING YAAAAS and it was such a short scene with such an efficient laugh, no BS, etc. LOVED IT

WHEN HE WAS READING THE CONTRACTS. MOTHER FUCKER. I was sitting here literally with my hands clasped over my mouth because it was SO. TENSE.

gavin bursting in! oh nooo! 

but the time already elapsing!! YES!!

JARED ANNOUNCING IT AND SMILING FOR THE FIRST TIME ALL EPISODE HOLY SHIT

AND RICHARD SEEING HIM SMILING AND SMILING BACK!! given his speech at the end, i’m pretty confident in saying he was partly smiling for pied piper and PARTLY BECAUSE HE SAW JARED SMILING AND WAS PLEASED TO SHARE JUST A SCRAP OF CAMARADERIE WITH HIM AGAIN!!!!!!! FUCK!!!

AND THE WAY JARED QUICKLY UNSMILES!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!

i thought maybe what would happen is that gavin’s speech about being terrible would make the guy even more sure he’d sell to pied piper

then dinesh’s speech made me be like ...........uhhhhhh........

(omg fuck dinesh amirite!! what a clown!)

(A TRULY TERRIBLE MAN)

(AMAZING)

(tERRIBLE)

and when the guy said ‘i don’t want to be in business with any of you’ for a moment i just panicked and thought he wouldn’t sign?

BUT HE DID HURRAYYYYY

THEY BOUGHT HOOLI!

I’M SO FUCKING HAPPY !!!!!

i swear to god there was one moment in that after gavin and the guy had left, when everyone was happy, richard turned to jared and I SWEAR for a SINGLE SPLIT SECOND i LEGITIMATELY thought they would kiss!! because fuck these two have been played SO HARD as potential romantic counterparts!! fuCK THIS!!!!

and then the speech!

FINALLY!

RICHARD TRIES TO MAKE UP FOR BEING A DICK

APOLOGISES

YES

GOOD

and he didn’t say anything fucked up either! was nice about gwart, offered jared and gwart office space in pied piper (didn’t even try to get jared back! has accepted jared going to gwart!)

(btw i feel iffy about jared’s seemingly ironclad devotion to gwart. seems a bit BS to throw away years with richard to be with this person he doesn’t know. and to talk about loyalty. i don’t like it. seems to me like gwart is his REBOUND. SUCH. A. REBOUND. he’s using her as a substitute richard, using her as an excuse to keep stonewalling richard, as a distraction from his PAIN involving richard........... yeah that’s what it look slike to me)

IT WAS GOOD

HE SAID HE MISSED HIM

FUCK YEAH

FUCK FUCK FUCK

YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR IDIOTS LIKE RICHARD (and a lot of men probably due to society) TO SAY THAT HE MISSES SOMEONE? not that he deserves congrats for this, but GOD IT WAS SATISFYING. AND MADE ME MELT A BIT.

AND JARED’S SINGLE FUCKING TEAR AS HE LIES THROUGH HIS FUCKING TEETH AND SAYS HE DOESN’T CARE OH MY GOD SLAY ME

JUST RUN A FLUTE-SHAPED SWORD THROUGH MY FUCKING HEART OH MY GOD

THERE BETTER BE A GOOD PAYOFF FOR THEM I SWEAR OH MY GOD

I’M SO FUCKING HYPE THIS WAS SUCH A FANTASTIC EPISODE I LOVED IT

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #157

And now for something entirely different.

For the first time in the entire series, we have a chapter in which Tomoko Kuroki is completely absent. For a series whose initial premise was so dependent on having Tomoko as the solitary focus, it really speaks volumes that the side characters can now carry the series on their own. Of course, it wouldn’t be Watamote if Tomoko wasn’t there in some way, shape or form, and as we see today, her spirit lives on in rest of the Watamote Crew.

Chapter 157: Because I’m Not Popular, I’m Suspended

I really dig the hatching in this opening shot. It automatically gives you the sense that this is a retroactive moment and that Tomoko will be MIA until further notice.  

And just as we already knew, Tomoko and Yoshida got busted.

I’ve noticed quite a few people criticize this school policy, claiming that’s it’s unreasonable for the “crime”. My assumption is that riding a motor scooter reflects poorly on the school, which its students are supposed to represent with “proper” behavior. While I don’t think it’s really a justified punishment, I don’t think it’s necessarily an unjustified punishment either. Dissecting the reason would mean pulling apart much about Japanese cultural values, and this ain’t the place for that.   

This, on the other hand, seems a teeensy bit excessive. But that’s just me.

Naturally, Komiyama takes this as an opportunity to validate her less-than-savory impression of Tomoko. Gotta eat up those friend-of-a-friend brownie points. 

The true endgame of this series is when Tomoko and Komiyama call each other “friend.”

Blatant disregard of sensei’s instructions? Looks like Yuri’s the next to join the new delinquent posse after Tomoko and Yoshida.

But on that note, I really do enjoy that Yuri cares enough about her buddies to break the rules. She’s always been an obedient student overall, but I always had this inkling that Yuri wasn’t really a goody-two-shoes. Rebels gotta stick together.

And Tomoko’s (and Yoshida’s) reputation continues to brew. And through the semi-popular kids at that. If nothing else, Tomoko is going to leave school known as the “Weird Kid” that everyone admires.

I now wonder just how much these guys knew about Tomoko and Yoshida’s friendship? I’d imagine that this whole suspension might actually paint the two as BFFs in everyone’s eyes. 

Lastly, I wonder what was the manga Tomoko and Yoshida were reading? Maybe a sequel to “A Happy Cat”?

Can I get a Prison School shoutout, anybody?

Yup, like I said. Everyone knows about that “Weird Kid” in high school who did stupid stuff, but you couldn’t help but admire them for having the nerve to do it. Nemo may give Tomoko a lot of shit sometimes, but to some degree, I think she wishes she could be like her.

Girl’s itching for her Kuroki-Kimoi fix. 

Perhaps someone can enlighten me, but are Japanese shoe lockers really left unlocked? I mean, you see it all the time in manga–how else would the love interest send letters/chocolate to their crush?–but I’d like to to know if there’s any truth to that. 

If Ucchi really was getting ready to confess apologize, then I gotta hand it to her. It took her a lot faster to get to that point than I thought she would.

Unfortunately, the universe discriminates against emojis, and when they flippantly confront a random girl to inquire about their obsession, you know a blast of karma is heading their way.

The Counseling Room, huh? For those who’re uninitiated like me, that’s supposedly where they keep the suspended students to do their schoolwork and reflect on their actions. 

In Ucchi’s eyes, however, it’s the higher beings keeping her from her beloved. 

Sorry, Ucchi, but you gotta work on your “Uwaaaah!”s. Maybe you ought to get some pointers from Komiyama.

More and more, Ucchi’s cries of despair get even more absurd. And more and more, I wonder how she justifies it in that head of hers. 

Aw damn, is it that same dude that criticized Tomoko for supposedly almost falling into a ravine? And on film, too? Bro needs to take a chill pill.

That seems to be the food for thought amongst the student body these days. 

Is it wrong that I laughed at Katou’s very obvious face of absolute boredom? You can just feel the Tomoko withdrawal symptoms destroying her from the inside.

I used to be pretty ambivalent about her increasing affection to Tomoko, but these more humanizing moments make me grow fonder about their relationship.  

Fuuka’s never gonna let this one die, is she?

That’s basically the exact same thing that Tomoko said to Fuuka, wasn’t it? Shoot, gotta had another tally to the “Tomoko-Katou ship is actually kind of cute” chart.

At this point, she and Okada need to start a support group for the Tomoko-challenged.

I gotta say, I fully expected Tomoko to be hypocritical enough to deny Fuuka an answer, but not Katou. More than anybody else, it feels like nobody, not even her closest friends, really understand who Katou is. I’m counting the chapters to the day it all comes to blows. 

So close, and yet so far.

Back to fill the void with the ol’ earbuds, huh, Yuri? 

Well, Tomoko is perpetually tired, but I’d imagine suspension isn’t doing her any favors. A loner Tomoko may be, being locked up for a week in pseudo-solitary confinement (with Yoshida, no less) is bound to lead to some cabin fever.

I think the old Tomoko would brag about it before the fact, but after experiencing it, she'd take it back after realizing that suspension actually kind of sucks.

In old news: Yuu is a sweetheart and deserves the world.

Ah, Komi. I can't tell if you're ignorant, in denial, or just being a bitch, but your delusions of grandeur towards Tomoki never fail to amuse me.

It took me a while to realize that we were going over several days throughout this chapter. The time transitions are just that subtle, and I'm pretty sure that was intentional in order to emphasize how Tomoko's absence is really screwing with everyone’s sense of time.

Is this the first time anyone other than Minami has acknowledged Ucchi's lack of a face? Alright, Minami, you win this one.

Also, this is so going to add fuel to the fire on those NSFW headcanons about Mako and Minami’s "pet play" relationship.

Wow. When she says it like that, it puts Minami in an almost sympathetic light. Curse that endearing dependency of hers.

I see that Okada’s infamous shut-her-down moment from the field trip has left some after effects. If nothing else, Fang Girl knows when to fold ‘em.

Obvious imagery aside, I do like that they include Yoshida as one of the “loud” ones in the class. She’s definitely more of the “in-your-face” type of loud, while Tomoko is mostly loud in presence, and it really drives home just how extra loud the two are when together.

A wild Hirasawa appeared!

Somewhere underneath Yuri’s veil of apathy is a very particular layer of empathy. That being, her affection for Tomoko. Yuri may get jealous of other girls, but she can understand how it feels to have an attachment to someone, and when she recognizes that in someone else, that’s when she’ll go the extra mile.

Even she can’t abandon an underclassman all by their lonesome.

That said, it wouldn’t be Yuri if flashes of green didn’t flicker in her eyes at times.

Then that green turns into...whatever color is usually associated with begrudging respect.

Aw damn, this is going to be one of those heartwarmingly bittersweet endings, isn’t it?

Continuity porn.

Okay, ya’ll, but that glimmer of hope in Yuri’s slightly widened eyes is just golden. I hereby put this at the top of my “Top 5 Purest Moments in Watamote” List.

You know, if this were earlier in the series–as in, before Nemo opened up to Yuri–this would come off as pretty mean in the context of the plot, even if it really isn’t. It’s still trollish in a way that only Nemo can, but it feels like a genuine offer of friendship now that we’ve seen these two slowly come closer together. And if slice-of-life manga has taught me anything, it’s that walking home from school together is the Friendship Rite of Passage.

I’m sure Yuri’s first instinct was to punch her out, but hey, any reaction is a good reaction.

Actual proof that Tomoko has temporal powers that allow her to accelerate the passage of time at a rate that’s proportional to her exuding weirdness.

Or, you know, they all just miss her.

If there’s one thing that this series has taught me, it’s that the most wonderful of friendships can start with a mere coincidence.

At the start of Watamote, I never would’ve thought that the series could hold its own without Tomoko. And yet here we are. Gone are the days where the cast was just her, Tomoki, and Yuu. The cast has expanded exponentially since then, and their stories are all rich enough to headline their own series. But no matter how far the web grows, it always comes back to Tomoko. Even with Main Character Privilege, her existence is the glue that binds everyone together. And while this chapter gave us a unique insight on favorite characters, it also gave us a chance to see an alternate reality where Tomoko (and Yoshida) don’t exist.

And as expected, it’s a dull, dull world.

[floralseokjin]

↳ the index [ #4 hurt ]

Recently heartbroken, it feels like you’ll never be able to get over it. But a chance encounter with a guy you haven’t seen in months changes everything…  

pairing; min yoongi x f reader (past kim namjoon x f reader) au/genre/warnings; semi) fuck buddies au, rebound au, unrequited feelings, angst, drama, conflict, there’s a small fight scene, a punch is thrown, smut; fingering (a lot of), sex without a condom but reader is on birth control  other; namjoon arrives 😬 words; 8,166

⇤ previous | next ⇥

“I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” 

Seulgi sounded just as betrayed as she had the other fifteen plus times she’d said the same exact line. 

“You would have tried to talk me out of it! I know you would have!”

“No way,” she maintained, shaking her head side to side. 

“Really?” Somehow, you did not believe her. 

It was still only the next day after Hobi’s party, but somehow it felt like a week. Possibly longer. You’d gone over everything, start to, well, now, with her since this morning, and she was still going on. 

“Okay, maybe because it’s Yoongi I would have had my reservations,” she finally relented. She looked at you quizzically from her spot on the sofa. “Didn’t he and Namjoon used to be best friends?” 

You on the other hand had chosen the chair, although the small distance hadn’t helped matters. You fiddled with your hands nervously. Here they came. The questions. Up until now she’d been in shock, feeling just a tiny bit betrayed that you’d kept it from her for so long. But now, she was really thinking about it, and of course she had questions. 

“I don’t know if they were best friends, but yeah, they were friends.” 

“Do we even know what fully happened there?” 

“Namjoon just said they had a falling out,” you shrugged, not really wanting this conversation, “and well, I haven’t asked Yoongi.”

Last night you’d justified your thing with Yoongi, and while you still had nothing to feel guilty about, Seulgi’s questions made you feel uneasy. Technically, this was complicated, no matter how simple sex with Yoongi was. He and Namjoon shared a history, and despite not being friends anymore, it made sense that Seulgi would point it out. Without Namjoon around, that tiny detail could go ignored, but maybe that was the point. You didn’t need to feel guilty because Namjoon had left. He’d gone and ditched you and his supposed friends in the process. You didn’t owe him anything, and you could fuck whoever you wanted. His ex-friend or not. 

“Yeah, cos you’re too busy choking on his dick,” Seulgi snorted, interrupting your internal monologue and absolutely mortifying you in the process. 

“SEULGI.” 

“Just saying. The guy must be good if you keep going back for more.” Your silence turned her uncontainable. “Oh, my god. He is, isn’t he?!”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “I’m not talking about our sex life.” 

Your best friend however, was not listening. “Is he better than Namjoon?” She ignored your scoff of frustration. “Come on, it’s okay to talk shit about that buffoon.” 

“Yoongi is… different,” you yielded, not meeting her eyes. 

“So that’s a yes.”  

“He’s… Sex with him is…” 

“So good it’s indescribable?” she concluded for you. She leaned forward, all excited. “Now you have me curious. I always did think Yoongi was hot. Like in that aloof, mystery guy type of way.” 

“He’s not aloof.” You sounded more defensive than you’d intended. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to talk shit about your man,” she laughed. 

You groaned. “He’s not my man.” 

Maybe telling your friends had been a bad idea… On the outside looking in maybe things between you and Yoongi could be perceived differently to what they actually were. Which was bullshit because people your age had casual sex all the goddamn time. 

As if Seulgi could read your mind, she asked you something carefully. “So… this is just sex?” 

“Yes.” 

“Like hot, amazing sex with no feelings involved whatsoever?” 

“Seulgi.” 

Your irritated sigh was enough to make her sit back, coming over all serious. “I’m just worried about you, _____. The breakup really hurt you and it sucked seeing you like that. At one point I thought you were never going to get over it.” 

“But I have,” you pointed out. “I’m over it.” 

It hit you then that it was the first time you’d said that out loud. It made you feel weird. You did mean it, right? Or were you just trying to prove a point? 

“Exactly!” she exclaimed. “What if you’ve just started liking Yoongi instead?” 

“I haven’t.” 

The thought was just absurd. How could you fall for someone else so soon after the breakdown of your two-year relationship? Especially when you had still been so heartbroken when you’d started sleeping with Yoong. Seulgi was just being wary, that’s all. You would know if you had feelings for someone. You weren’t stupid. 

“I mean, I like Yoongi, of course, just not in that way,” you continued, not liking the way she was looking at you. “I’m not going to catch feelings if that’s what you’re trying to say.” 

She softened. “I just don’t want to see you hurt again…” 

You gave her a small smile, knowing she meant well. “Thank you.” 

But she wasn’t done. Third degree over for you, it was now Yoongi’s turn. 

“What if it was the other way around?” 

“Huh?” She’d lost you. 

“What if Yoongi’s the one who catches feelings?”

“Pftttt.” You couldn’t help but laugh. “Not gonna happen.” 

“Why is it so impossible,” she asked, eyes narrowing. 

“Just is.” 

She sighed at your lack of engagement, hugging her legs to her chest. “I’m just saying, sex isn’t always as simple as it seems.” 

You paused, sensing her change in tone. You thought you understood why she was so passionate about this now… Leaning forward over the armrest of the chair, you asked, “Do you want to talk about it?” 

She shook her head no, voice quiet. “We’re talking about your thing now.” 

“We can talk about both,” you insisted softly. “Come on, something must have happened.” 

You wondered what it could have been. Her and Taehyung were all drunk and giddy last night, sucking face at Hobi’s place, rolling about while on the phone to you… 

“It didn’t,” she replied. “Not really.” 

You waited for more. Patience was key when it came to Seulgi. Finally, she sighed. 

“It’s me. I’m the one who caught feelings.” 

“Guys, this is a social gathering,” Seokjin whined. “Which means we’re supposed to gather and be social.” 

Yoongi didn’t even bother looking at his best friend, who was sat on the sofa opposite, when he replied. Too preoccupied with you sitting in his lap. “Thanks for stating the obvious, smartass. We are socialising.” 

“With each other.” 

“Leave them alone, they’re cute,” Dana chided her boyfriend, lightly whacking his shoulder. 

Jin pouted, crossing his arms. “We’re cuter.” 

The room erupted into noise as all four of you started laughing. It had been about a month since everyone had found out about you and Yoongi, and by now it had long become normal. So normal in fact, that Dana calling you cute was heard without much thought. You were all just friend who hung out together. Two were in a relationship, two were having casual sex, and one was… 

“Can we feel for me for a moment?” Hoseok whined. The only one who hadn’t joined in with the laughter. “I’m the fifth wheel.” 

“Awh, Hobi,” Dana said from across the room. Unfortunately for him, he was sat next to you and Yoongi. “You could have invited someone.” 

He brought his bottle of beer to his lips, taking a mouthful before glancing at you. “I was kind of hoping Seulgi would come.” 

Yoongi sniggered. “Haven’t heard the news?” 

“Don’t tell me she’s with that guy I saw at my party?” he sighed, face falling dramatically. 

You laughed. “’Fraid so.” 

Taking another drink, he shrugged. “Ah well, plenty more fish in the sea.” 

Wow, he’d gotten over the news impressively quick… Not that it came as a surprise. As much as you liked Hoseok, you were glad Seulgi had finally realised there would never be something serious with him. You were just happy things with Taehyung seemed to be going in the opposite direction. After a momentarily blip, they’d both confessed how they really felt. It was amazing to see your best friend so happy, and secretly, you hoped one day you’d have that again too… 

“I’m gonna text her, say congrats,” Hoseok continued, pulling out his phone. 

“How nice of you.” 

“Then I think I’m gonna ask that chick I met last weekend to come over.” Hoseok looked over at Jin as Yoongi scoffed, one hand casually skimming down your thigh. “Is that okay, bro?”

“I guess,” Jin shrugged. “There should be enough food to go around. Shit, where’s my wallet?”

“Didn’t you have it in the kitchen?” Dana asked. 

You watched on as Jin beamed his girlfriend’s way, planting a kiss on her temple. “You’re so smart, baby.” 

“I know.” 

He was right, they were cuter. 

With Jin in the kitchen searching around for his wallet and Hoseok busy texting “that chick”, Yoongi wasted no time with distracting you again, whispering low in your ear as you giggled. It was crazy, even after all this time hooking up you still couldn’t keep your hands off one another. As his mouth found your earlobe, Hoseok groaned. 

“Fuck sake, can you guys knock it off. Dana, still think this shit is cute? They’re about five minutes away from fucking on your couch.” 

“Hobi!” you cried, feeling your face burn up. Yoongi just chuckled. 

Before she could reply, the door buzzer in the hallway went off. 

“That must be the delivery guy! He’s early!” Jin yelled from the kitchen. 

“I’ll get it.” Dana wasted no time, hopping off the sofa, almost as if she wanted to escape. 

That just left Hoseok, and Yoongi being Yoongi decided to fuck with him some more, kissing your cheek loudly. Then again. And again. Much to his friend’s visible disgust. You couldn’t help but giggle, “pushing” Yoongi off, but not really. He wrapped his arms around your middle, squeezing you to him with a laugh off his own. 

“Jin!” Dana’s voice was loud, almost enough to distract you. 

“I’m coming! Just counting out cash. How much was it again?” 

“Seokjin!” 

This time she sounded shrill, and Jin came hurrying out of the kitchen, a little alarmed. “What’s up?”

“Come here, please. Now.” 

You, Yoongi and Hobi looked at each other in confusion as Jin rushed into the hallway, the latter even standing up to follow, but then you heard a familiar voice from behind the wall that made you freeze up. It couldn’t be. You must have been hearing things, but one look at Hoseok’s face told you that you weren’t. He looked just as shocked as you. Yoongi’s arms around your waist loosened, and you knew he recognised it too. For some reason you couldn’t look at him though. Too busy fighting the rising panic you were feeling. 

There were footsteps, more voices, Jin and Dana’s, in such a flap they spoke over one another. You looked over at the doorway, heart hammering in your chest now, and that’s when you saw him. Namjoon. He appeared around the corner, smile big, just the way you remembered it, and it widened when he saw Hoseok, automatically reaching in for a hug, but then… he noticed you. Slowly, realisation took over his features, confusion written all over his face before his brows pinched together, his eyes flicking to the guy whose lap you were in. The remainder of his smile disappeared instantly, expression turning suddenly. 

“What the fuck.” 

There was silence. 

You tried to find your voice, his name trembling from your lips. “N-Namjoon…” 

His looked away from you, turning to Hoseok, and then behind him where Jin and Dana stood. “What the fuck is going on?” he demanded, his hands balling into fists. 

You clambered out of Yoongi’s lap, legs shaky, still unable to look at him. Your hands felt cold and clammy, but the rest of you was boiling hot, and your head whirred. You were so shocked you couldn’t think straight. 

“Joon, hey, uh, calm down, yeah?” Hoseok said, stepping closer, attempting to placate his best friend. 

From beside you came Yoongi’s voice, even and horribly calm. “Hey, Namjoon. Long time no see.” 

“You fucker!” 

Everything happened so fast after that it was all a blur. You remembered seeing Namjoon’s eyes flash with fresh anger before he launched himself at Yoongi. Then there was a commotion, some yelling, before he stood a few feet away from you both, held back by both Jin and Hoseok. 

“Woah, woah, woah.” Jin’s voice was firm. “Not here, okay?”

“Namjoon, it’s not what it looks like–” you heard yourself begin, but you were unable to finish. It was exactly what it looked like. Almost. 

He didn’t hear you anyway, too busy straining against Jin’s grip. Hoseok had let go by now, stepping in between him and Yoongi. 

“Let go of me, Jin!” 

“No!” The older guy sounded uncharacteristically mad. “You can’t just come back here and start shit. Who the hell do you think you are?” 

“Start shit?!” Namjoon yelled in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me right now, Jin?” 

“He’s right,” Hoseok said. “Just think about this rationally.” 

“What the fuck. I leave town 3 months ago and here he is,” he stopped to point at Yoongi, “jumping straight into my grave! How long?” He was breathing heavy by now, and when he spoke again, he sounded threatening. “How long has it been going on, Yoongi?” 

Yoongi, who had been watching on entirely unbothered, shrugged. “I don’t know.” 

Namjoon’s nostrils flared, attempting to lunge again, but Jin’s grip was firm. “If I found out it was before we broke up…” 

“Of course it wasn’t!” you cried, unable to believe he could even assume that. 

Namjoon ignored you again, and you couldn’t work out if it was intentional or not. It hurt either way though. 

Tugging from Jin’s grip, the other guy finally let him go. “You two just let this happen?” he scoffed, rounding on his two friends. “You replaced me straight away?” 

“Fuck you.” 

Jin’s outburst shocked you, and you made eye contact with Dana who was still stood by the door. She looked panicked. 

“Nobody replaced anyone. Yoongi is our friend too. Always has been,” Jin began his tirade. “You’re the one who decided to leave out of the blue. You’re the one who left everyone to pick up the pieces,” he paused to take a breath. “And you’re the one who’s just suddenly shown up here.” 

“It was a surprise.” 

For the first time, Namjoon didn’t sound angry. He sounded hurt. 

“I wanted to surprise you.” 

A silence followed, Hoseok and Jin dropping their heads, feeling guilty. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“It wasn’t our place to tell,” Hoseok muttered. “Besides, you haven’t been the easiest to get hold of lately…”

Namjoon shook his head, chuckling wearily, his gaze finally catching yours. “How long has this been going on for?” His voice was barely there. 

“A couple of months.” Your voice trembled, feeling like you wanted to cry, but no tears would come. 

Fresh anger spread across his face, tone changing instantly. “Are you fucking serious, _____?” It made you shrink back into the couch. 

“What right do you even have to be mad?” Yoongi said from beside you, finally some emotion in his voice. Irritation. 

“I have every fucking right, you snake!” Namjoon exploded. “You know why. Bet you couldn’t contain yourself when you found out I left. Waiting–”

“Shut. Up.” 

Yoongi was up out of his seat, frightening you with his sudden aggression. You’d never seen him like this. You’d never seen either of them like this. Hoseok placed a hand on his chest, ready to hold him back if needs be. 

“Or, what? You’ll make me?” Namjoon stopped to laugh, before smirking and glancing at you briefly. “You and I both know I have the upper hand here.” 

Yoongi noticeably backed down, and after a moment of silence his voice was low. He sounded different. Almost worried? But that didn’t really make sense. “Namjoon, listen. It just happened, okay? We were hanging out and one thing led to an–” 

He didn’t get to finish, Namjoon’s fist hitting him square in the jaw, sending him flying back into the couch. You cried his name, in shock, but instinctively you reached for him. 

“Fuck,” he muttered, cradling the side of his face in his palm, amongst all the commotion. Jin and Hoseok were holding Namjoon back again, unsure if he was going to throw another hit. Yoongi looked up, his eyes filled with fury. “What the fuck?” 

Namjoon tugged at his human restraints, able to free a hand so he could point accusingly at Yoongi. If Yoongi’s eyes were filled with rage, Namjoon’s were murderous. “You’re fucking pathetic!” 

“Quit it,” Hoseok tried, straining against the strength of his best friend. “Fuck, Joon, calm down!” 

“Do you think she wants you? Do you think you mean anything to her?! You’re fucking deluded!” 

You couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying, his words a blur. 

“Shut the fuck up,” Yoongi snarled. “You’re the pathetic one. You left her, Namjoon. Whatever you have to say doesn’t mean shit!” 

“Yoongi, chill,” Jin shot. 

“Me?! He’s the one who just fucking hit me!” 

“This is fucking ridiculous,” Namjoon fumed, shaking his friends off him. “Let go of me. I’m fine, I’m fine.” Hesitantly, they listened, still looking wary. “There’s no point wasting my energy on him.” He turned to you then, his voice soft. But now it sounded alien. “_____, can we talk? Alone?” 

You felt Yoongi tense beside you and shook your head. 

“Please?”

“Not tonight.” Your voice was small. 

“Come on, you’re going to stay with him?” Namjoon said, scoffing slightly. “Please, just hear me out.” 

“Listen to her, man,” Jin said from behind him. “She doesn’t want to speak to you tonight.” He placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him a comforting squeeze. “Let’s just go outside, take a breather.” 

To your surprise, he agreed, taking a step back. Maybe all the fight had left him. Hoseok followed them towards the kitchen, where the balcony was, but Jin hung back, checking on Dana, taking hold of her hand. “I won’t be long, okay?” 

“Take your time,” she replied, kissing his cheek. 

He smiled softly and then turned to Yoongi. “Are you alright?”

“I’ll live,” Yoongi chuckled humourlessly before noticing his best friend’s reluctance. “It’s fine, go. We can talk tomorrow.” 

With a nod of his head, Jin walked out. 

“Are you okay?” Dana asked you immediately, rushing forward. You nodded. The air still felt a little heavy, but at least there was silence. At least there wasn’t any more fighting. “Sure?”

“I think we’re just gonna go,” you managed to get out, your voice sounding hoarse. 

“Both of you?” She sounded surprised. 

You nodded again before turning to Yoongi. He did want to leave, right? “Yoongi?”

He looked a little shocked, probably still a little dazed from the punch, but he agreed, already standing up. 

“Okay, well, I’ll message you tomorrow?” Dana asked, watching you get up too. She followed you to the door. “I’m really sorry, _____. I thought he was the delivery guy, I tried to think of a way to stop him coming inside.” 

“It’s okay, Dana,” you managed to smile. “It’s not your fault.” 

.

.

Thankfully Yoongi had brought his car tonight, missing out on the alcohol because he had work early in the morning, but the car ride was made in almost complete silence. You stared out the passenger’s window, lost in thought as you replayed what had just happened over and over again in your mind. It didn’t seem real, and you were still trying to wrap your head around it. 

“Want me to drop you off home?”

Yoongi’s voice cut through the silence like a knife, making you jump a little. Going home was probably the best idea, but the selfish part of you didn’t want to be alone. You didn’t want to leave him either. 

“I want to go back with you. If that’s okay?” You sounded exhausted. Not so much physically, just mentally. 

You could sense Yoongi glancing at you, but kept staring out of the window, trees and signposts whizzing by.   “Of course it’s okay,” he said after a few seconds. 

His place was dark and quiet when you arrived, and you guessed Jimin was out. It was the start of the weekend after all. You kicked off your shoes and followed Yoongi to his room. Things felt weird, and you wondered then why were you here? You were forcing your baggage on Yoongi, but then… maybe you were both in this together… Your emotions were all over the place. You felt shock, anger, frustration… worry… guilt… It was a mess. Everything was a mess. But right now, it felt like Yoongi was the only person who could understand. The only person who felt the same as you. 

Yoongi sat on the edge of his bed, and you followed, a new emotion bubbling to the surface. Concern. 

“Hey, let me have a look at your face.” You took his jaw in your hands, making him turn to face you as gently as you could manage. 

He tried to shrug you off. “It’s fine.” And he didn’t meet your eyes when you angled his chin upwards. “There’s really no need.” 

You narrowed your eyes at the dried blood at the corner of his lips. “You were bleeding.”

“Yeah, he fucking split my lip open.” This time you let him pull away, watching him rub at the blood with his thumb.  

“Stop. It’ll start up again.” 

He listened, dropping his hand into his lap. Silence stretched between you, guilt eating you up. 

“I’m sorry.” Your voice was small. 

“Why are you sorry?” Yoongi sounded baffled, finally looking into your eyes. 

“He hit you.” 

It was all your fault. 

Yoongi just scoffed. “He’s been wanting to do that a real long time. Trust me.” When he saw you didn’t look convinced, he added, “You have nothing to be sorry about, _____.” 

You nodded slowly, but your mind was starting to whirr again. 

“Are you okay?” Yoongi asked, watching you carefully. “You don’t have to pretend.” 

“I’m just in shock. I wasn’t…”

“Expecting him to walk through the door?” he finished for you. “Yeah, neither was I.”

You still couldn’t believe what had happened, finding it hard to wrap your head around. It didn’t feel real. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t stay.” 

“Stay?” You looked at Yoongi, surprised. “I don’t want to hear what he has to say.” 

Yoongi raised his brows. “You’re mad at him?”

“Of course I am. He hit you.” 

That wasn’t the Namjoon you had known. That was a stranger. 

“What if I had hit him instead?” Yoongi asked unexpectedly. He saw the confusion on your face. “How would you feel then? I really fucking wanted to…” 

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t.” It was all you could say, not really understanding why he was asking you something like that.

Yoongi watched you, dark eyes roaming your face as if he was looking for something. Finally, he murmured, “He was saying some pretty crazy things…” 

“Can we just,” you paused to let out a weak sigh, “can we just not talk about him?” 

You didn’t even want to think about his name at this point. 

“Sure.” Yoongi agreed easily. 

Thankful he’d listened you shot him a grateful smile, unable to stop yourself from reaching for his face again, inspecting it some more.

He sighed your name, chuckling quietly. “I said I’m fine.” 

“I don’t think you’ll bruise.”

He gave you a small smile – the fondness something you’d grown used to over the weeks. You couldn’t help but reach forward and place a kiss on his mouth. He pulled back slightly, and you panicked. “Sorry, did I hurt you?”

“Not that,” he shook his head. “Just wasn’t expecting the kiss.”

And then he leaned in for more. 

The first few presses of his mouth seemed a little off, as if he was hesitant, but when yours grew a little hasty he eased up, kiss becoming firmer, a hand reaching to wind through your hair. Kissing his bottom lip softly, you managed to pull away. “You’d tell me if it hurts, right?” 

His gaze was on your mouth, thumb rubbing circles against your cheekbone. “Yeah, I’d tell you,” he murmured, unable to keep from kissing you. 

“I just want to forget about tonight.” 

You accidentally said the words out loud and Yoongi pulled back, his eyes now searching your own. His expression was unreadable, but you worried yours was an open book, regardless of how conflicted you felt. Then, something switched. 

“C’mere.” 

Snaking his arms around your waist, he urged you to climb into his lap, his mouth on yours once again. Only this time the kiss was rough, bruising almost, teeth grazing your bottom lip as he sucked it into his mouth, nibbling and tugging it as he pleased. If his jaw hurt, he didn’t show it. Didn’t notice it. Sliding your fingers through his hair, you clung to him tightly, wanting to feel him as close as possible, the familiar urge taking over you like it always did with him. Tonight was already becoming a distant memory. A little bit longer and you could pretend like it never happened at all… 

When his hands started exploring your body it kicked your hips into action, rolling into him as one hand groped your ass and the other glided over the curve of your right tit. You could feel the heat at your face and between your legs, the throb of excitement making your heart pound. Yoongi’s hand slipped under the skirt of your dress, gripping the flesh to make you rock harder, causing you to choke out a moan. He swallowed it right up, fingers now pushing under the material of your thong, running along the thin strip, but not quite stopping where you wanted him to. So, instead, you ground harder. 

He immediately pulled his head back to chuckle. Almost gleeful at that. “You can’t get enough.” 

It was true. 

It had been true for so long now. 

“Take your panties off.”

His deep voice was in your ear, breath hot, lips wet, and you shut your eyes when you felt his lips at your jaw, kissing to your chin, before licking his way back to your ear again, digging the muscle inside and making you shudder. With shaky hands, you lifted your ass up as best you could, a hand reaching up your dress to drag your underwear off. It was clumsy and rushed, Yoongi’s mouth now sucking marks on your neck, making no attempt to help you as you struggled to remove the flimsy piece of cotton. Finally successful, he tugged the panties from your hand and dropped them to the floor. You leaned into kiss him, but he pulled back. 

“Unzip my jeans too.”

He was full of orders tonight and it just seemed to turn you on even more. You were wet, could feel yourself, and you watched him with wide, needy eyes as you listened to his demand, Yoongi lifting his ass up slightly so you could work the piece of clothing down around his thighs. “If you want me to fuck you, gotta show me how much,” he muttered. “Get me hard.” 

With delayed realisation, his words sunk in. He wasn’t hard yet. For the first time ever, he wasn’t hard. It threw you for a moment, but then he was talking again, voice coaxing you to him. “Babe, make me hard,” he said, all breath, “can’t fuck you if my dick isn’t working.” 

You loved it when he called you babe. It sounded so natural now, as if you’d always been his babe. So, with determination, you started rubbing him through his boxers. You were going to work for this. His mouth finally found yours again, tongues meshing together outside of your mouths almost crudely, in a rush, with an urge. 

He started to grow hard from the moment you touched him, blood rushing, until he was rock solid against your hand, the friction driving him crazy. He tugged at his boxers, pushing them past his thighs himself, and growled when you wrapped your fist around the base of his dick. He pulsed once, flesh burning hot, before you started moving, close to the head of his cock, your thumb spreading the first bead of precum. 

Eager to touch you too, he slipped his hand up your dress, gripping your bare ass before the tips of his fingers travelled lightly along your slit. He made a deep approving noise when he found you were already soaked for him. ���Good girl. Didn’t even need my help.”

And then suddenly, he had a long, deft finger inside of you. 

You jerked forward with a surprised moan, the hand not wrapped around his dick flying into his shoulder, holding on. You kissed once, then twice, before you couldn’t quite keep up anymore, his finger pressing and curling against your walls. Your fist tried to work in time with his movements, jerking him steadily, making sure to concentrate on the tip, mutually pleasuring one another. 

You murmured his name brokenly, and he grunted in approval. “Yeah, that’s me.” His other hand squeezed your ass, fingering you a little faster in reward. “Be a little louder, tell me what you want.” 

Confident Jimin was out of the house, you gave him what he wanted, moaning more than necessary, and not afraid to ask for more. 

“Another?” he asked, tugging your bottom lip between his. You nodded and immediately felt fuller, the stretch of a second finger already that more pleasurable. He fucked you straight with them, making you cry out, not even trying this time around, and despite not being able to think properly, your tongue chased his. You tried to keep your hand in time with his, but your movements were getting clumsy. Not that he seemed to mind when you gradually gave up. 

Your hips jerked back and forth, trying to get as much as you could, practically fucking yourself on his fingers, and all you could think about was Yoongi and the pleasure. Nothing else mattered right now, and the last of your frustration and upset was seeping away. If you wanted to be clever – spiteful – it was trailing down Yoongi’s knuckles, and just kept coming. 

“Yeah, grind like that,” he encouraged, voice deep, hand gripping your butt, rolling you into him. Then, he spanked you loudly. “Let me hear you.” 

The smack was ringing in your ears, so you had no clue how loud you were being when you obeyed, your fingers digging into his shoulders as you lifted your hips up, so desperate you were trying to ride his fingers. You felt the careful press of another finger, your gut squeezing in anticipation as Yoongi began working it inside of you. Slowly at first, but when he noticed how easy it was, he slid the rest of the way in. 

“Three,” he commented matter-of-fact. 

You groaned out some type of response, the stretch so pleasurable you swore your eyes were about to roll to the back of your head. The burn was delightful, and you just felt so full. You circled your hips faster, wanting him to move, to fuck your brains out, even if it was only with his fingers. 

“You’re fucking greedy tonight, babe,” he laughed. It almost sounded patronising, but you loved it, moan turning whiny. “Why is that?”

“I-I want you,” you manged to choke out, hands grabbing at his t-shirt. Naked would be even better. 

“I can see that,” he smirked, eyes glancing south, but the skirt of your dress shrouded his view. 

 “Yoongi, please.” 

You didn’t even know what you were begging for. 

He let out a little hum. “Do you think I can fit a fourth?” As he fucked into you, he squeezed his pinky inside. 

You buckled, face falling into his shoulder, breathing heavily against the clammy skin of his neck. Lifting your ass just enough, he had perfect access to keep snapping his wrist. Pressure started to grow heavy in the pit of your stomach and you felt hot all over. 

“Such a greedy pussy,” Yoongi husked, the fingers of his other hand stroking one cheek of your ass. “Listen to how wet you are. I fucking love that sound.”

The squelching noises were loud, and a couple of months ago just the thought of Yoongi pointing it out would have made you embarrassed, but now not so much. Not at all actually. He made you so wet it felt at times as if it should be humanly impossible. He did things to your body you didn’t think were possible. He did things to you that seemed entirely unimaginable. 

“Babe, lean back for me. Let me see you.” 

You let Yoongi guide you because you felt all trembly, sitting back on his lap as the bed creaked under you. You’d fucked so many times on this bed, fast and hard, and in all directions, you were surprised it hadn’t given up all together. Intrusively, you started to wonder how many people he’d had sex with on here but stopped yourself. It was stupid of you, and embarrassingly it made you feel weird. What did it matter? 

His thumb started rubbing your clit at just the right moment, distracting you, making you feel like you were about to explode all over his ceiling. You gripped his t-shirt again, thighs shaking as he fucked you as quick as he could, so stuffed it was making things difficult. 

“Ngnn, please – oh, fuck.” 

“You still want more?” He sounded amazed. 

You leaned in, attempting to kiss him, but it was messy and wet. “Want your d–shit– Yoongi, I’m g-gonna–”

He laughed at that. “I have never met someone who cums so easily as you.” He stopped the movements of his hand at that, staring you straight in the eyes, but you were too far gone, needily grinding all over him, wanting him to continue. He cocked an eyebrow. “I must just get you, huh?”

“You do,” you agreed, nodding rapidly, nails digging into his shoulders. “P-please, Yoongs. Fuck me now.” 

You needed everything he could give you. 

“You have to slow down for that,” he laughed. “So horny, look at you.” 

You whined, voice croaky, frustrated. You didn’t know what you wanted. You wanted to cum, you wanted his dick inside you. You just wanted him, period. 

At that, he started pressing and curling his fingers as best he could, leaning in, voice low and almost mean sounding. “Beg for me a little, babe, and maybe I’ll give you what you want.” 

It came easy. 

“Please, p-please, Yoongi,” you pleaded, pressing your mouth into his, making sure your tone was that sugary sweet one he couldn’t say no to. Then, all breath and like something possessed: “Please fuck me.” 

“Okay, okay,” he soothed, as if you were a crying baby, his free hand reaching up to hold your cheek, fingers catching in your hair. He gave you one long, hard kiss and then pulled away. “I need to get a condom.” 

“No,” you clutched onto his t-shirt, not wanting him to stop even for just one second. You wanted his dick, but you also wanted his fingers, no pause in between. “N-no need.” 

He raised his brows slightly, surprised, but your words seemed to do something to him. He kissed you roughly, a moan ripping past his throat, and his movements sped up, the squelching of your pussy only getting louder. His lips bruised down your chin, towards your neck. “Want me to fuck you raw, babe?” 

“Yes–!” 

You were so close to coming, your vision blurring. He nudged you closer before gripping his cock, and you felt guilty, knowing you’d pretty much neglected him the entire time. He jerked his hand over himself a couple of times, getting ready to push inside you. But it wasn’t quick enough. 

“Shit, Y-Yoongi–Oh, my god–” The feeling washed over you all too suddenly despite knowing it was inevitably about to happen. “I’m coming–‘m coming ohhh…” 

You clung to him, body seizing up as the pleasure started rocking through your body, but mid-orgasm, skilled and quick, Yoongi replaced his fingers with his cock. The sudden fill, much deeper, had your high lasting longer. Or maybe you were just coming again, you didn’t know. But what you did know was that it felt too good to process. Sometimes the sex with Yoongi didn’t feel real, and each time you though okay, this was the best yet, another time proved you wrong. This was one of those times, but who knew how you’d feel next week. 

“Shit,” he muttered, thrusting quickly and feeling you squeeze around him desperately. “Fuck. You love making things hard for me.”

You had enough energy to giggle – however weakly – and tried to catch your breath, steadying yourself, shaky from your orgasm. 

He clutched your hips, voice husky, one hand still sticky with your arousal. “My turn now, yeah?” 

You nodded. 

“Think you can handle it?” 

You nodded again, gripping his shoulders, readying yourself because he was about to fuck you hard and fast. 

“That’s my girl,” he praised, voice low, and then he begun. 

Sometimes there was nothing hotter than the feeling of Yoongi using your body for relief. After he’d made you cum; once, twice, maybe even three times (because yes, he was absolutely right, you came so easily it was almost absurd), you’d lie on your back or front for him, let him take what he wanted. Tonight was new though. As in, you’d never been on top in this situation. It took a lot more effort you’d admit. But the ache inside you was almost gratifying. Especially with the way Yoongi was watching you. 

“Gonna cum so hard,” he managed to get out, and you could only kiss him in return. Unsure how else to express yourself. You loved making him cum, possibly as much as he loved making you cum, you just didn’t tell him as often – if at all. It gave you a deep satisfaction that you often couldn’t explain. 

Right now the kiss was desperate and messy, mostly hot, sticky breath and clashing teeth. Yoongi was close already, finding it hard to concentrate on each thrust. He got like that sometimes and it was such a turn on. To know sometimes you made him unable to think straight. He had his arms wrapped tightly around you, his lips moving to your throat before he hung his head, his movements growing harder, more intense. Determined. 

“Wanna cum inside you so badly…”

His voice was barely there, almost like he’d accidentally voiced his thoughts, but you heard it, hypersensitive when it came to him. The ache inside you meant something else now. It was an urge, and it had been building up for quite some time. Or so it felt like it had. 

“Do it.” 

His head shot up, a noise something like puzzlement leaving him, and his thrusts faltered.

“It’s fine,” you insisted, lost in the moment, babbling. “I’m on the pill.” 

After that one off the night of Hoseok’s party you’d gone back to using condoms. That night something had been holding you back from revealing the truth, from letting Yoongi cum inside you, but that feeling had gone now. You were sure of it, and especially after tonight. 

You reached for him, clutching his face, needing this, watching the slight pinch of his forehead smooth out. “Cum inside me, Yoongi.” 

“Yeah?” he murmured. 

“Please.” 

He rocked his hips once, twice, a third time, before his palms squeezed your ass, pushing you to him, his mouth pressed against your throat as he panted. Each snap of his hips got rougher, quicker, chasing the end, losing himself in the feeling of you. You moaned for him. 

“Mhmm, yeah,” he grunted quietly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

He fucked you through his orgasm, quiet noises catching in his throat as he spilled into you, and you swore you could feel it. You clung to him, lowering your mouth to find his, kissing him deeply. This was the closest you’d felt to him yet, and it just seemed so…normal. He held you to him after he was done and you continued to kiss him, taking all that you could, because afterwards you knew you’d have to start thinking again, start talking again. 

Yoongi was first to pull away, wincing slightly before patting his mouth. You panicked, suddenly remembering. “Sorry, did I hurt you?” His lips looked red and swollen, but that could also be from all the making out. 

He shook his head, “no, don’t worry.” 

He wasn’t touching you now and as he moved slightly, he fell out of you. You hated that feeling. Emptiness. But he gave you a smile and that did its job at reassuring you. Like it always did. 

You let out a dreamy sigh, body feeling an exhausted tingle. “That was…” 

Your vocabulary failed you at the last second, but Yoongi agreed anyway, chuckling quietly. 

“The pill thing… I, uh, you can’t be too sure sometimes.” 

Technically Yoongi didn’t know how long you’d been on birth control, but it was fairly obvious it had been way before him, and you felt awkward for not telling him, awkward for making up some kind of white lie. It was stupid, you highly doubted he cared. And to prove your point, he laughed, his hands roaming up your back. 

“Double dutching seems like something you’d insist on.” 

“Hey,” you shot, pushing his shoulder playfully. 

Did he really believe that? Or was he just trying to play along, guessing the real reason why… 

He cleared his throat. “I hope you didn’t feel pressured by what I said, I was just talking in the moment or some shit…” 

“No, it’s fine,” you reassured. “I didn’t. I wanted you to do it too.” 

You hoped he understood what you really meant. By the way his eyes roved your face, you were sure he did. Carefully, he placed a chaste kiss on your mouth. The action was so tender, so loving, something inside you shook. You felt strange and got off his lap quite quickly after that. Maybe you were starting to come down from the shock of tonight. 

“I need the bathroom.” 

“You okay?” he asked, watching you wobble with mild concern. 

“Legs are shaky.” Your laugh sounded a little too high pitched. 

He chuckled. “Same.”

In the bathroom, you sat on the toilet long after you’d peed already, thinking. Just thinking. Alone for the first time, you went over what had happened at Jin and Dana’s apartment. It was even more of a blur now, but you remembered how Namjoon had barely looked your direction, too busy yelling at Yoongi. That had hurt you, hurt you even more just thinking about it now… 

You stood, scared that if you thought too much you’d land back in square one. You didn’t want to think of him, especially after how he’d acted tonight. That wasn’t your Namjoon. But how stupid of you, he’d stopped being yours so long ago now. Three months ago? Even longer if you thought about it. He’d been planning to leave way before he’d told you…

You found yourself in the shower, needing another distraction, and the scent of Yoongi’s shower gel soothed you a little. Coconut and shea butter. What you could smell when you were wrapped up in his body. Thinking about him now, you felt a little niggle of self-doubt. For the first time in a while you started to wonder if what you were doing was wrong. It didn’t feel wrong, but Namjoon’s reaction made you look at things differently. He and Yoongi weren’t friends anymore, but they shared a history. You knew what it looked like, and that was using Yoongi to get at your ex. But it wasn’t like that at all… You were positive…

Or as positive as you could be. 

Just now Yoongi had cum inside you, something you hadn’t wanted at all for a long time, too soon after your breakup with Namjoon, but it had felt right, natural even, to let him tonight. In the heat of the moment it all made sense, but now, here in the shower, you started to wonder if you’d only done it to get back at Namjoon. He had hurt you tonight, and it had felt sort of vindicating to have sex with Yoongi straight after… You felt like a bitch and your head was a mess, not sure what you felt anymore. Seeing Namjoon in person had thrown you for a loop. You needed to get some sleep. 

You found a fresh towel to wrap around yourself and sure that Jimin was still out you made your way back to Yoongi’s room, surprised to find the lights were off and he was in bed, back to you, asleep you presumed. Quietly you crept around, just enough moonlight to get to his wardrobe and find a t-shirt of his to slip on. It struck you how natural that had become now, how comfortable you had become with one another in such a short space of time. It made your chest ache a little and you didn’t know why. 

You got into bed and shut your eyes, determined to shut your brain off and go to sleep. You kept telling yourself that tomorrow you’d wake up and see everything with a refreshed mind, but there was a part of you that didn’t believe it would be so easy. From behind you, you felt Yoongi turn around slowly, mattress dipping with his weight. 

“What took you so long?” 

“I took a shower.” You voice felt funny. 

There was a beat of silence. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about…it?”

“You have work in the morning,” you whispered. You’d already ruined his night and now you were about to make him too exhausted for tomorrow. 

“Who cares about that. Turn around, let me see your face.” He sounded so gentle, you couldn’t help but listen. Eyes adjusted to the darkness now, you could make out the soft features of his face. He took your hand under the covers. “Let’s talk,” he murmured. “It’s not good to bottle things up.” 

“I know.” 

“You know you can talk to me, right?”

You couldn’t help the small smile that crept its way onto your face. “I know that, too.”  

He returned it gently, almost sadly. 

“I really am sorry for getting you into this mess.” Your voice wobbled into the night. 

“Hey,” he breathed, the hand on yours now reaching for your cheek. “Don’t be.” The pads of his fingers soothed your skin, and you closed your eyes, enjoying the sensation. “I was in it anyway, makes no difference that he’s found out.”

His words didn’t really make sense to you, but you guessed it was something to do with him and Namjoon. You touched his face and felt the warmth of his mouth against your thumb. He kissed it once, and you thought: he really cares about me. No matter what type of thing you had going on here, you’d become friends, and you cherished that friendship. He’d been there for you through the breakup when he didn’t have to be. 

Your mind fleeted back to Namjoon. “I was finally used to not having him around and now he’s back.” 

You’d finally gotten over him, you thought to yourself, but didn’t want to say it out loud. A part of you wasn’t ready to, despite confessing something similar to Seulgi a month ago. Although getting over the breakup and getting over Namjoon were two totally different things, however stupid that sounded. You’d done both, but now you were shaken. 

“He’ll be gone soon. He’s probably just visiting for the weekend.” 

“It was such a blur.” You were talking without really thinking now. 

Yoongi’s forehead creased. “You don’t remember what he was saying?”

“Bits and pieces,” you shrugged. “I just know he was acting like an aggressive idiot.” 

Yoongi sighed softly, rolling onto his back. “Maybe it was justified.” 

The sick feeling you’d been trying to ignore until now grew stronger. You wanted reassurance. “Do you think we’re doing something wrong?”

He turned his head to look at you. “You’re not.” 

Frowning, unable to think anymore, you moved in closer, resting your head onto his chest. He wrapped his arm around you and kissed the top of your head. “You’re tired.” 

He let you an exhausted chuckle. “A little.” 

You closed your eyes, determined to forget everything just for tonight. 

“And I think you’re wrong, by the way,” he added. “Definitely gonna bruise. I bruise like a peach.” 

That made you snort, despite everything. “Go to sleep.” 

He squeezed you tighter to him. “You too.”  

Written 2018 - 2021. Reworked/re-edited 2021. Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021