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thefiveavengers · 5 years ago

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jester and sexuality/romantic inclinations

so, this is my last day of summer break (actually the day before last, but tomorow is monday) and I decided to put into words what my thoughts about this dicey, dicey subject are. First, these are solely my opinons based on 1) watching the second campaign, 2)watching talks machina and the meta knowledge that comes with that and 3) assuming the players are playing in good faith and are open minded to organic changes that might come to their characters along the way.

and second, I do have my biases, and I come from the following inclinations: I ship lavorregard, and I don’t believe Jester is straight.

That said let’s begin. I’ve written a far amount about the lavorregard ship, but mostly focused on Beau’s feelings and her perspective. Right before the ep that Beau reveals the crush to Nott I wrote the following: “ If I were to put a chronology on Beau’s feelings for Jester it would go something like that: 1)“This girl is cute and somehow I like her way more than I usually like, well, anybody” 2) “This girl is cute and we are… friends???” 3) “This girl is cute, we are friends and I love her” 4) “We are friends, I love her AND I think she is hot” 5) “This girl is hot, I love her and maybe I love her as more than friends?”

But last ep I think it shifted to, “I’m definetely into Jester as more than friends and she’s never been hotter AND I think I’m getting to a point where I’m ready to actually process my feelings regarding that and be open about it.”

And lo and behold, the very next ep we saw Beau actually processing her feelings when talking to Nott. But what about Jester?

I’ve seen some people express the idea that “wouldn’t it be galaxy brain if all three cr ladies had independently decided when creating their characters that they are lesbians?” and honestly, while a cute thought, I don’t think that’s what’s happening. In my opinion what happened was, Marisha created Beau as a lesbian and she made sure to make that clear as possible from the get go, and one of the reasons I think she did that is because she entered the campaign looking to avoid a pc/pc romance, since the one she was in in cr1 took such a toll on her. She probably figured it would be a safe bet, playing a lesbian she would shield herself from the male characters and most likely the other female characters would not be interested in Beau, right?

Enter Ashley Johnson. Honestly I don’t think Ashley had such a clear idea that Yasha was (or is) a lesbian. She had a wife, and from what has been said in canon Zualla was her only romantic and sexual relationship. Now, from what we’ve seen Yasha hasn’t expressed any interest in men, but to be fair she hasn’t really expressed interest in much anybody. She called Jester adorable in the very first ep and she seems to be fond of Beau’s flirtations even if not directly responding to them. The conversation where Yasha has said that she has “seen {Beau} a lot” coupled with one of the songs in Yasha’s playlist has me convinced that Yasha has some kind of feelings for Beau, even if is just a small crush. And I say this as someone who doesnt ship Beau/Yasha. I don’t think they would make a good match, but that doesn’t mean I’d deny either of them having interest in the other. But that doesn’t mean Yasha is for sure a lesbian who would never engage with a men ever. She seems pretty adamant on not having any romantic connections, so its hard to gauge really where her interests lie. She is for sure though a wlw.

Now, when it comes to Jester and Laura Bailey that’s when things get complicated. I would assume that most of us that have considered the possibility of Jester not being straight have read the excellent essay on comphet by tumblr user fuzzy-face ( https://fuzzy-face.tumblr.com/post/185001577009/you-make-your-own-fairytale-jester-comphet ), so I’m not gonna rehash what she’s said already. While I do agree almost wholeheartedly with this post, I’ll say this, I don’t think Laura Bailey when creating Jester set out to tell a story of a wlw learning how to overcome comphet. But (BUT!,!) I also don’t think her idea was Jester is totally straight and that’s that! I think she created Jester as a sexually and romantically inexperienced young woman that almost immediately got a crush on Fjord because, among other reasons, he reminded her of a hero from her smut books.

Recently, with the new upload of talks to the CR youtube channel, I rewatched this talks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZqJzNj_1tI , which is about the ep a Hole in the Plan, deep into the pirate arc, but before the first big Beau/Jester moment, the conversation they had in the boat on ep 46. First I must express my annoyance at the fact that Laura and Marisha are the guests and yet at least 80% of the questions are about Fjord. I know it was in his arc, but COME ON! Also I was very surprised by how open they are talking about Fjord/Jester as if it were a done deal alaready. When anyone involved in Talks claim that they don’t do shipping questions, you should show them this ep because it is all about shipping questions. Anyways, Laura clearly states that Jester has a crush on Fjord (at the time at least) and she compares it to a super intense high school crush. So to me there is no refuting the fact that at least at some point Jester had a crush on Fjord.

What I do find it interesting is when you compare her answers in that talks to what she said in the most recent talks she’s participated ( https://youtu.be/_NmZ2b_Q3So ) which seem to at least indicate that Jester has, on a level or another, moved on from said crush. It’s also, the now infamous moment where Laura talks about Jester’s crush...es. We’ll get back to that.

That’s all good and dandy, but this is meta outside the game. Let’s go analyze actual in-game developments. As far as I can remember (and I’m not an expert in Fjord/Jester, so I might be forgetting something) these are the moments Jester spoke directly or inderectly about her crush on Fjord; when Caleb point blank asked her if she was sweet on him (to which she answered “I don’t know” and let’s keep that in mind); when she talked to nott about first kisses and the best thing she can say about it is that it didnt make her feel dead, and to me the most significant moment; when she asks the traveler how to make a boy like her. Now, I’ve seen some people band about this as irrefutable proof that Jester IS straight, otherwise she wouldnt be asking the traveler advice about boys, but in this case she wasn’t talking about boys in general, she was talking about ONE boy and that was Fjord.

And that’s the crux of the matter isn’t it? Jester has demonstrated sexual/romantic interest in one man and one man alone, and that’s fjord. That does not mean she is straight. It doesn’t even mean that she, if a wlw, is bi. Her crush on Fjord has been wrapped around in all these expectations and I think its hard to parse how much was just projecting, among other things, the romance her parents had. Also, let me comment on how all these developments were long ago, during the pirate arc, over one year ago in real time.

Jester has commented about Fjord’s appearance and Caleb’s and even pointed out to Reani that hot boi Essek was hot, but its all done very matter-of-factly. And if we are going to talk about Jester commenting on people’s apperances we have to acknowledge how Jester cannot SHUT UP about how she finds women beautiful. From Beau to Nott, from Reani to random shop girl in Uthodurn and her obssession with the Bright Queen in particular its all very in your face. Once someone wanted to argue with me that this is just how straight girls air their insecurities, and even if that’s true and not just misogyny, the only time Jester commented on a woman’s apperance with any kind of insecure note was one time when she compared herself to her mother.

Look, the thing is, if we take at face value every comment Jester has made about Fjord’s looks and strenght, we also have to take at face value how distraught she looked and sounded facing the idea that Beau’s new vestiments wouldn’t let her abs show. Is it funny? Yes, but it’s funny for the idea that Jester is very appreciative of Beau’s abs, which, I’m still waiting for the straight explanation if anyone if willing to give me.

To end, this goddamned book that I’ve started, the thing that gives me the most certainty that Jester is not straight and that a Beau/Jester romance is not only possible but likely is that I do not believe Laura Bailey is cruel. If she had no interest in exploring the possibility of a not-straight Jester and a B/J romance she wouldn’t been doing what she has been doing for awhile now.

And what do I mean about that? I mean that even before Beau’s confession there’s been a different dynamic to their relationship. I already mentioned the “but can I see her abs????” incident, but also her encouragement about beau’s qualities and abilities (beau, you’re super strong), using the traveler as a proxy to her feelings (the traveler thinks you’ll do great, the traveler thinks you’re awesome, the traveler loves you), waiting to hold beau when she went up a column and showing disapointment when she didnt fell into her arms, listening to Beau regarding her wanting to confront her dad, being super, and I mean SUPER bummed out when Beau and Reani kissed and took a walk. And after the confession things ramped up.

Like, that was Laura Bailey listening to the conversation between Nott and Beau, not Jester. She could have had continued to play out their friendship as usual, but that’s not what she did. She used this opportunity to play the romantic possibility as never before. Making sure that Jester shielded Beau’s body in combat, being VERY specific that when her double cured her, she leaned over her body and put her hands to her face and even contradicting Matt, pointing out that when she woke up, it wasn’t the laughing hand that she first saw, but Jester’s face. And then there’s ep 89, the juiciest lavorregard ep since ep 46. It’s romantic comedy set up, one character confesses their love to a third one, and the one character who is the target of that love starts a conversation with “Are you avoiding me? Because I think I know why.” That’s a romantic trope ladies and gents, and Laura Bailey the genius she is played it to perfection. Not being sure why she was so upset about not curing Beau (a sentiment that battle mercy Jester has never expressed before). Wanting to punish Beau’s dad for not treating her right, getting to an agreement after arguing about tarot and molly. Afterwards engaging Fjord in an activity that she usually associates with beau, that goes disastrously and thanks to the dice gods, I could see, in real time the comphet melting away.

And concluding with the fact that she bet 20 extra gold on Beau on the down low.

So coming back to the idea of Jester having crush...es, to me is very clear those crushes are, the one she has/had on Fjord and her new emerging one on Beau. do I think Jester herself is aware of these feelings? Not really, but Laura sure is.

look this is not about being entitled or acusing anyone of queerbaiting if my ship doesnt pan out. its just, you know, laura’s sister is a lesbian, and I do think that gives people some perspective that they might not have, and I genuinely don’t think she would be playing things as she is, if she didn’t have any interest in playing out to the end.

#critical role #jester #jester lavorre #beaujester #lavorregard #this got super long and took me a few hours #but anyways these are most of my feelings regarding queer jester

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bigbadwolf-16 · 4 years ago

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anyway heres the thing for wolf and i am SO sorry if the readmore doesnt work oof this bitch long

slightly modified it

Name:

Wolf-16

Age:

Mentally twelve, but roughly Dark Age old.

Race:

Exo

Call signs/alias:

Wolf. One syllable, easy.

Pronouns:

He / Him

Class:

Hunter

Preferred subclass(es):

Gunslinger, but he’s handy with Void and Stasis. Never got the hang of Arc.

Ghost's name:

Serenity, but she reluctantly answers to Red sometimes.

Their Vanguard:

He came late to the party and properly joined the Guardian ranks sometime after Tallulah died, but he was closest to Cayde-6, rip.

Fireteam name:

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo (former) Maelstrom (former) Exodus (current)

Fireteam teammates:

In Foxtrot: Liz Cabrera, King-3, Armani-7 In Maelstrom: Amelia-9, Atticus Maav In Exodus: Puck-13, Aera-9, Emmanuel-7

Favorite legendary weapon:

Dire Promise IKELOS SMG Seventh Seraph SAW

Favorite exotic weapon:

Ace of Spades Riskrunner The Lament

Favorite exotic armor:

Sealed Ahamkara Grasps The Sixth Coyote St0mp-335

Are they offense, defense, or support:

Generally offense, he’s blindingly fast and is a crackshot with any weapon you put in his hands.

Do they prefer being close, mid, or long range:

He prefers mid to long, but ends up getting in close more often than he’d like. The agility kind of nerfs his ability to take a lot of damage all at once, so he goes airborne the second he gets surrounded.

Do they lean more "Element of Surprise" or "Upfront and Aggressive":

A bit of both! He’ll pull a surprise attack and jump in to get his hands dirty if he has to, which makes him a pretty good distraction if there’s a lot of enemies looking for a bullet sponge, but he prefers a little bit of distance if he can get it.

Strikes, Gambit, or Crucible:

Getting him into strikes takes a lot of perseverance, honestly. He’ll do them if Zavala can actually hold him down long enough. Hunters are elusive as hell anymore, and the amount of times he’s been back to the Tower or even within the City’s walls since the Red War can be counted on one hand.

Crucible is also kind of a gamble. Serenity doesn’t like him doing it because he gets ruthlessly competitive and tends to favor Stasis which gets... ahhh, intense...

He fucks super hard with Gambit, tho. If he’s anywhere near the City, he’s probably playing Gambit because the Drifter won’t give him the good stuff until he does.

Who was their mentor:

If anyone was, it was probably Serenity and only insofar as teaching him how to be fucking normal. It hasn’t worked very well.

Who are they mentoring:

He went through a brief stint where he mentored Atticus. He couldn’t teach him any Warlock things, of course, but other stuff like no-scoping an Acolyte or picking locks? Absolutely.

What ship do they have:

After Forsaken, all of Cayde’s stuff was pretty much left alone, but Wolf asked the Vanguard if he could take the Queen of Hearts and they let him.

What is their Sparrow:

Blood in the Water

Favorite Ghost shell:

Serenity picks her own shells. When they met, she pretty much had the Rust Punk shell after the one she was created with got messed up pretty badly. The new one didn’t stand up very well against the elements.

Wolf keeps a handful of them in the ship so that she can go between them and her favorites are Wisteria Orbit and In Fine Omnium, but she goes back to her old one occasionally if she doesn’t want to get the others dirty.

Favorite color:

Red, but sometimes purple.

Favorite food:

Any kind of spicy ramen and shawarma.

Least favorite food:

He doesn’t like anything with a bitter taste and there are a lot of veggie-based things he just genuinely cannot stand the thought of.

Favorite Pre-Collapse music:

He discovered classic rock and hasn’t looked back once.

Favorite place in The Last City:

Before the Red War when he spent more time in the city itself, his apartment. It was small and pretty cozy and also loaded with his hauls from various jobs. He’d sit in the window and play video games on his off days and just chill with Serenity for hours.

There was also a bar he’d frequent with his old fireteam (and sneakretly sometimes with Cayde) where they pretty much knew everyone who worked there by name. It’s the one place he never got kicked out of for causing a ruckus.

Favorite NPC(s):

Cayde and Wolf hung out a lot when either one of them had the time. These days, if he’s anywhere near the Tower, it’s only to see Amanda or Banshee.

He also likes to kick it with Devrim, Variks, and Failsafe. Osiris finds him frustrating at best, but he and Crow are kind of a package deal at this point.

Least favorite NPC(s):

He finds Rahool kind of dry and nerdy and has nothing but bad things to say about Hideo.

Favorite patrol location:

The EDZ. It’s more or less his home now and he knows every square inch of it by heart.

Least favorite patrol location:

Anywhere on Europa or the Moon. Europa he’ll at least go to without being dragged, if only just to say hi to Variks or Elsie and check up on how things are going, but after the Lunar Incident he won’t step foot on the Moon unless Eris requests him specifically.

5 things your Guardian likes:

Glimmer, babeyyyy!! Also food, bad jokes, going real fast, and springtime.

5 things your Guardian dislikes(this can be anything):

Handling trauma in a healthy way like normal person, having to be responsible for people, being told what to do, big open spaces, and waiting.

Your Guardian has to rest. What is their living space like:

Wolf can and will sleep just about anywhere and in pretty much any position. His old apartment in the City was destroyed during the war, and he just never went back, so now he knocks out in whatever place has enough cover or is out of the way enough he won’t be found.

Does your Guardian have any casual wear?:

Lots. He usually goes for a more urban style, so lots of huge hoodies, joggers, chunky sneakers, snapbacks, that kind of thing. He generally only wears armor when he’s actively working.

What hobbies and/or skills does you Guardian have:

Outside of Guardian stuff, he’s picked up a handful of skills over the years. He can rap and sing and figured out how to autotune his voice/mimic others, he’s pretty good at woodcarving and making little things out of scrap metal, and even if his designs are intentionally tacky he’s good at custom paint jobs for jumpships and Sparrows.

As for hobbies, that mostly consists of exploring. He’s got a lot of patrol areas memorized, and does a lot of urbex in places that aren’t very thoroughly mapped because he likes finding pre-Collapse artifacts and seeing places not very many others have. Mostly for selling.

He also does a lot of gambling, but whether or not he’s any good at it is arguable.

What would your Guardian's lore book be called:

Sixteen Wolves

Where was your Guardian reborn?:

Somewhere in the humid and shitty swamp that used to be Houston, Texas. It was tough going for a while, but they eventually traveled all the way to what would eventually be the City.

What were they wearing when they were reborn:

Rapidly disintegrating work gear from, presumably, some kind of security job.

What was their reaction to being reborn:

Confusion and alarm, but he warmed up to Serenity pretty quickly, so it wasn’t too bad after the initial shock.

What was their reaction to their first rez:

Very surprised until Serenity explained what had just happened. After that, all bets were off.

After being reborn, did they meet friendlies first or hostiles:

Like many, the first sentient form of life he met was hostile, but it wasn’t aliens. His first run-in with other people was a group of survivors who had a lot of mistrust regarding the Risen and he didn’t want to fight them, so he took off.

Who was the first other Guardian they met?:

He definitely doesn’t remember, but it probably wasn’t a pleasant encounter.

Did your Guardian get reborn with, or find, any indication of their past life? If so what do they have/found:

Exos get the luxury of at least knowing their name, but Wolf found his etched into a corner of his chest plate in cool letters. He didn’t remember anything from his past life beyond random glimpses if he dug hard enough, and nowadays those glimpses are pretty rare and extremely vague. There’s never any memory fragment that’s enough to really grab onto, so he tends not to bother with it.

How did your Guardian get their name(if they didn't rez with past life mementos):

Exo thing! He doesn’t remember if it was just some kind of moniker or part of his actual original human name, but Wolf sounds cool so he’s not worried about it.

Going back to your Guardian's lore book, what would be some quotes or passages from their book:

The Hunter dove for the ball and caught it, whipped it back across to his companion with a well-practiced flick of his wrist and tumbled. The Warlock caught it a bit more gracefully and without getting dirt on his clothes.

“Do you ever think about home?”

“What do you mean?”

The Warlock shrugged, tossing the ball back and forth between his palms. “Home. You know. Where you’re from. Your people, I mean. I think about the Dreaming City a lot. I don’t remember how it used to be, but... I like to think maybe I had family there once. Someone to miss me when I was gone. Dreadful to think of how it’s been destroyed...”

“Hm.” Wolf considered the question, then it was his turn to shrug. “Dunno. Guess we don’t really have one.”

“You must have something, Wolf. Exos had to come from somewhere. Everyone has a home.”

“Y’all might have a home. All we got’s a graveyard.”

Does your Guardian have a significant other:

He’s had a handful over the years. He’s still friends with Liz, not that anyone can tell because all they do is fuck with each other and cause trouble when they’re together. He and Amelia were a thing briefly but that one had to be called off to preserve their friendship because, even though they’ve known each other for decades and get along surprisingly well, they are very, very different people.

The last one was Cayde, and that didn’t end well for anyone. Cringe culture is dead, don’t @ me.

Did your Guardian go explore first before going to The Last City? If so, where to:

That was kinda the name of the game back then. The City was just a dinky little encampment and Wolf was on a completely different continent, so by the time he actually got there it was a dinky little town with not much to explore. He ended up breezing through a few times before anyone even really realized he was a Risen. The section of the wall he helped build is actually still there.

What was their reaction to first seeing The Last City:

A little bit surprised, honestly. He already knew there were a lot of little camps and small towns scattered around, but he hadn’t expected to find any that were that organized and so full of lightbearers and mortals, just working side by side.

Is your Guardian a part of a clan:

Yes! He’s part of the Exodus Family.

Does your Guardian's clan have a back story? If so, what is it?(if you want to or able to share):

Not much that I’m personally aware of, just cus my friends and I haven’t talked about it at length, but basically everyone is an Exo and having a fairytale/biblical theme is pretty common. Like. Puck is an obvious one. Wolf and Serenity are a little bit Little Red Riding Hood themed, only insomuch as Serenity having an affinity for red shells and Wolf thinking he’s all big and bad and tough.

(He’s not, he’s a baby.)

If your Guardian would have a quote as a flavor text for a weapon and/or piece of armor, what would they be:

I have a couple of these actually, all inspired by some really good quotes I’ve seen.

Wolf Moon’s Chase (Exotic) “Don’t look back. You’re not going that way.” A hand cannon with a wolf head grip and the Howlin’ Wolves perk; Successive precision kills gradually reload the clip and boost Super energy regen even if stowed. Missed shots have a chance to track enemies and explode.

Last Man Standing (Exotic) ”I was always taught that if you shoot for the Moon and miss, the vacuum of space will suck out your eyeballs. Failure is not an option. Go kill ‘em.” Chest armor with the Knock ‘Em Dead perk: Low health massively boosts damage, resilience, and mobility for a short amount of time.

Bad Blood (Legendary) ”The strength of the pack is the Wolf. The strength of the Wolf is the pack.” A Hunter’s cloak with the Vermilion Stripe down one side and a moon shattered into three pieces on the back.

If your Guardian has had any interactions with any civilians, Eliksni, Cabal, Vex, Hive, Taken, Scorn, Rogue Lightbearers, or Iron Lords/War Lords tell us about it!:

Wolf’s been around a while and he’s seen a lot of things, so let’s dig into this one.

He’s not as well known in the City except by name unless he’s wearing his wolf mask, but he drops in at the Farm pretty often and he’s on good terms with everyone there. He does a lot of supply runs for them and will stick around if they’re shorthanded to help with upkeep or defense if there’s a lot of hostile activity in the area. In general, he doesn’t interact a whole lot with mortals unless they’ve been out on the front lines like Devrim or Suraya. There’s way too much cultural and social disconnect there and he doesn’t have the patience or really even the language to try and explain to them that he, even as a Guardian and Old Light, is just as human as they are and while he may be immortal and have crazy cosmic superpowers given to him by a mysterious and sentient white spheroid, dying hurts and the trauma every Guardian walks around with just is not worth it.

Where Eliksni are concerned, he tends not to initiate fights with them. If they shoot first, all bets are off, but for the most part he has a lot of respect for what they’ve been through and can relate to feeling lost and completely adrift with no identity. He helps rebels on Europa either fight back against Salvation or escape to Earth to join the House of Light. He’s made a lot of friends that way.

Cabal he has a lot of respect for as well, for similar reasons. They lost their home to the Hive and are trying to survive in the best way they know how, even if he doesn’t agree with their politics. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen with Caiatl, but he’s trying to maintain hope that her empire and humanity will eventually reach an understanding. They’d be unstoppable as allies.

He doesn’t fuck with the Vex. Even before things came to light on Europa, even being near them made his brain itch and one of his biggest fears is being infected with some kind of Vex virus that’ll turn him into one of them and spread to other Exos or Ghosts, almost to the point he’d prefer to avoid them altogether.

He is terrified of the Hive. I’ve mentioned the Lunar Incident before, and the trauma of it caused such an intense meltdown that it forced a reset. Unless Eris Morn specifically asks him personally to go to the Moon for any reason, he doesn’t go anywhere near it. He can deal with them in other places like the Reef or on Earth, but the combination of Moon + Hive just scares him to death.

Taken and Scorn both are kind of a wobbly thing for him. He feels bad for what happened to them, but knowing that it can’t be reversed and that just killing them is a mercy makes it easier to deal with them. With Taken and anything relating to them, the spatial distortion they cause kind of overwhelms his processes if he’s dealing with it for too long and can make him feel a little sick, but that usually subsides once he’s gotten some distance. (Scorn are just... Oof. On the one hand, he kind of feels like they’re not too dissimilar to lightbearers just in that they were brought back from the dead and now won’t stay dead, but he always wonders if they’re suffering or if they even know where they are or what they’re doing. It’s just incredibly sad to see them like that, and the same goes for the Wrathborn.)

Rogue lightbearers? He kind of is one. He didn’t join the Vanguard until long after the City was established and before that he was just kind of doing his own thing being a thieving little shithead. It was Amelia who encouraged him to do it, and he’s shaped up a lot since then and become a lot more sympathetic toward other people. He still has that wild edge and always plays it fast and loose with the rules, more so than even most other Hunters, so he’s always butting heads with Zavala about that. In general, he doesn’t think much of them unless they’ve genuinely gone bad and are actively out there hunting and hurting other people.

Warlords/Iron Lords, uhhh. He was friends with a Warlord back in their day, but he didn’t pay them much mind outside of that. As far as he was concerned, if they stayed out of his way and he stayed out of theirs, everything was fine because other people’s problems weren’t his problem and he had no intention of getting tangled up with all that shit when he had a free pass to do all the petty crimes he wanted. He’s always thought the Iron Lords were stuffy and holier-than-thou, but he does kind of respect what they did back then and he might rip on Lord Saladin, but he understands his perspective on things. That kind of survival instinct and total victory or death philosophy, like... ya know. Wolf grew up in different times, too, and back then it was genuinely kill or be killed and you couldn’t trust anyone not to stab you in the back over scraps. He gets it. He may not always agree, but he gets it.

Does your Guardian have any unconventional allies or connections(By Vanguard standards):

Definitely. It didn’t start with Crow and Spider of course, but they’re a pretty good example. As a Hunter, he is connected. He knows a guy for everything you can think of and most of that knowledge is very under the table kind of shit. If the gains are good, he’ll partner up with just about anyone and his only hard limit is probably wholesale murder and not necessarily even because he isn’t comfortable with it. It’s a lot of mess, and a lot of potential to get his ass into really deep trouble he’d rather avoid.

He’s got a lot of Eliksni and Cabal buddies out in the system, most of whom he met in some makeshift prison or while trapped somewhere. More than once it’s been a situation of kidnapping where he just accidentally became friends with his captors.

One of his best friends for years was an Eliksni vandal out on the Tangled Shore, so he has absolutely no issue with having unconventional allies.

(Plus, like. With the system in total fucking chaos, you’re gonna need all the friends you can get. He’s dumb but he’s not stupid.)

How does your Guardian feel about themselves or others using Stasis:

Wolf has mixed feelings about Stasis. With Exos being pretty much literally born of Darkness, he has a natural affinity for it but being such a sensitive dude makes it very easy for the Darkness to manipulate him through. Any time he uses Stasis, he gets weird and a little bloodthirsty, so he tries to only use it when nothing else is working. He’s got a lot of willpower, but you can only hold out for so long when someone’s promising you salvation, peace, and power after the sort of life an Old Light has to deal with. Fear and trauma are very easy to appeal to when everything is looking increasingly more bleak all around you.

As far as other people using it, he’s still very “not my circus, not my clowns” about it. The only time he’d take issue is if someone was using it like legitimately trying to RTL someone he cares about.

Did they run The Last Wish raid? How did they react to seeing a live Ahamkara a.k.a Riven:

I’ve only done parts of it myself, but if he has met Riven he definitely almost short-circuited. I think anyone would if they met a supposedly extinct magic space dragon for the first time.

Did they run The Deep Stone Crypt raid? How did they react to the Crypt and seeing Exo Eliskni:

It was harrowing to say the least. Everything on Europa has been a nightmare, just from his own standpoint as an Exo. He goes through phases where he thinks that being one is the greatest thing ever because you’re faster, stronger, and tougher than anyone else, but at the same time, like. Look at what they have to deal with.

And all the secrets that came out as we learned more about Exoscience and Clovis Bray? Yikes, dude. Any time he’s not feeling cheeky or neutral about it, he just feels this weird sense of shame and guilt. Why would anyone want to be an Exo? Why would anyone willingly hand over their peace of mind and their security in their own identity like that? Most Exos don’t know who they were before, some don’t even know who they are now, and all because they got too close to the truth or their fundamentally unsustainable existence backfired again and they had to completely erase everything and start over.

Seeing Atraks was like watching a car crash knowing you wouldn’t be able to do anything to stop it. All these people seeking that out, wanting to make themselves or their allies into Exos just to be top notch unstoppable war machines when they don’t even slightly understand what it’s really like to live inside a completely foreign body is something he just can’t wrap his head around. He tries not to think about it too hard.

Is your Guardian from D1? How did they react to seeing Taniks alive once again:

He has his own beef with Taniks, but like. If he kept being killed and revived in shittier and shittier conditions, he’d probably be really pissed off too.

Where did they go and what did they do during The Red War:

The Red War kind of spelled the end of him transiently living in the City proper. His apartment was in one of the residential areas that got leveled, and he just never went back once the dust settled.

He did what he could to help, but his main concern was just keeping Serenity safe. He’d never admit it out loud in mixed company but if it came to having to choose between her and a handful of mortals, he’d choose her every time. She’s been the one constant in his life since he was revived and he couldn’t imagine having to try and carry on without her.

It really brought home just how much abuse he could take before his body would quit on him, and he almost didn’t make it through the whole thing. He’s way too reckless now to survive long without his Ghost, but it brought them a whole lot closer together.

For the most part, he teamed up with other Hunters to scout for safe exits and round up survivors, and when the Vanguard left to take care of business he stayed to help keep his lil classmates on task. After that he stayed at the Farm for a while dealing with the whole self-repair and maintenance deal, and he spent a whole lot more time out in the field when it was over.

Here are some characters that are either polarizing or have created a strong enough mass emotion within the community. What opinion does your Guardian hold on each of them >>>

Osiris, First Warlock Vanguard, originally exiled:

Wolf likes Osiris. Anyone who’s reckless, stubborn, uncouth, and a little bit feral is always going to be someone that Wolf likes and wants to be friends with. They get along for the most part, but because focusing doesn’t even make the list of Wolf’s strong points, Osiris can get exasperated with him pretty quickly when they’re going over some kind of batshit strategy and Wolf is over there in his corner texting. Osiris has no idea how he’s survived this long and has definitely said as much to his face. Wolf isn’t so sure either.

Eris Morn, Bane of the Swarm:

He’s a bit intimidated by her. She was kind of the catalyst for one of the most traumatizing events of his life, so being around her now still makes him feel a little bit weird and very nervous. Despite that, he still respects and trusts her immensely and will always come if she needs him.

They’ve taken time since All That Mess to talk to each other and she’s incredibly remorseful over what happened, but Wolf doesn’t blame her for any of it.

She has a very unique perspective on the Darkness and the Hive what all of this shit means, and he generally will trust her word over someone else’s when the topic comes up. She’s got a lot of wisdom in that crazy head of hers and they have a bit of a shared experience when it comes to being trapped in a Hive nest.

Cayde-6, Sixth Hunter Vanguard:

Lemme roll out the simp wagon for this one, ahem.

Wolf adored Cayde. Before The Dare, he joined in on Cayde’s little crew every so often for jobs and over time they got to know each other about as well as anyone can know Cayde or Wolf, and Wolf ended up falling for him pretty hard between all the snarky banter and watching him in action. They did some casual messing around and I’m sure anyone with eyes could see how bad he had it, but he never got the gumption to really confess and never tried to actually pursue anything beyond casual fun.

Cayde’s death absolutely destroyed his entire world. He’s seen plenty of death and his fair share of RTLs, but none have hit him as hard as that one. He spent a little while just immobilized by grief until it morphed into anger because, honestly, I don’t think any Guardian handles loss very well, and he decided after the memorial service to hunt down Uldren regardless of the cost.

The whole thing caused a bit of a rift between himself and his old fireteam and the Spider got a few good laughs out of calling him ‘Killer’. He doesn’t remember a lot of it now due to his reset around Shadowkeep, but he still gets flashes, and he definitely still blames himself. If he could have gotten there just a few minutes sooner, he knows Cayde and Sundance could have survived.

Ikora Rey, Second Warlock Vanguard:

Mad respect for Ikora Rey, especially when she low key high key supported his revenge mission. She has a unique way of being shady about things that Wolf really likes, and they don’t have much in common but he’s enjoyed working with her any time he’s gotten the chance.

When he has things to report on that he knows Zavala won’t like, Wolf goes to her first since she knows best how to soften the blow, and when he has the forethought to even bother, he runs strategies by her to get input. She’s the best Crucible player in history and he kind of sees her as a Warlock that thinks like a Hunter in a lot of ways. In the absence of Cayde, she’s the Vanguard he answers to the quickest.

Commander Zavala, Second Titan Vanguard:

Wolf and Zavala have a tense relationship. They don’t agree on most things and any time you put them in the same room together it inevitably devolves into some kind of argument about the best course of action to take on anything. Wolf’s story has him kind of lined up to be promoted to Vanguard because of experience and technicalities on the Dare, and while it’s not entirely up to Zavala, he does have a lot of sway as the Vanguard Commander. Wolf could not be less interested in the seat if someone was holding a gun to his Ghost.

He’s intentionally unprofessional as hell any time he has to work with Zavala directly and tends to go out of his way to use very unconventional methods that he know Big Blue won’t approve of, because he’s a child. Being petty is the spice of life, and Wolf is still mad that Zavala forbid him from going after Uldren. That he does remember.

With all of that said though! He does respect Zavala. You wouldn’t know it, but he truly does. The guy has the weight of the entire Sol System on his shoulders and never once has he complained.

Saint-14, legendary Titan, First Titan Vanguard:

Wolf is very fond of Saint and Saint is probably one of the few people left who has a way of getting Wolf to slow down and just take it easy for a while. Before Wolf dipped out for good, he’d sometimes just track the guy down to spend time with him and listen to his various wisdoms.

These days, he still calls him up sometimes to shoot the shit and check in on things and he always asks Saint to tell the pigeons and the Colonel that he said hi.

Lord Saladin, Iron Banner handler, One of the last remaining Iron Lords:

Wolf clowns on Saladin a lot but he does understand his point of view when it comes to survival. I’ve mentioned it before, but Wolf “grew up” in the same time period and gets where the intensity and giving no quarter comes from, because back then it really was a life or death decision with way more immediate consequences. Table politics are kind of lost to him and the turning tide between humanity versus the Eliksni or the Cabal is calling for a more open and foreward-thinking willingness to take that risk in allying with them against a common enemy. Wolf’s a quicker learner though, and spending as much time as he has with both has taught him that, in a lot of ways, they’re just like us. They had their homes taken and destroyed, they’ve lost loved ones in droves, and they’re struggling to hang onto a thread in the only way they know how.

Wolf hopes that Lord Saladin will come around and let go of his dated worldviews, because the old ways aren’t what’s going to win wars anymore. Things are far, far bigger than us versus them now and Wolf has a feeling that humanity is gonna need more resolute leaders like Saladin to survive what’s coming.

Lord Shaxx, Crucible handler, Hero of Twilight Gap, living megaphone:

Don’t leave Shaxx and Wolf alone together unless you want complete and utter chaos to unfold. Any time they get together, they get rowdy, and no piece of furniture is safe from having one of them suplexed or dropkicked into it. Shaxx is kind of like a cool uncle to Wolf and they have been known to test new weapons on each other.

The Crow, New Light, Ex-Enforcer to The Spider:

Whoof. When Wolf first met Crow, he was absolutely gobsmacked. Of all the things running through his head, the biggest question he had was why. He almost shot Crow on sight, but he hesitated for some reason. It took a long time for Wolf to warm up to him and in that time he was uncharacteristically quiet and a little cold. Serenity managed to get him to keep his stupid mouth shut, and he’s glad he listened for once.

I think just spending all that time with him hunting Wrathborn, just being a team and really going through it together, was what brought Wolf closer to him. Learning about what Crow was dealing with in his personal life, everything he was going through just as a consequence of existing. Wolf opened up over time himself and once he worked through that big C6 obstacle, he found himself really endeared to both Crow and Glint.

These days, Wolf would probably consider Crow one of his best friends. He’s taught the kid a lot of old Hunter tricks and they hang out a lot, to Glint and Serenity’s immense relief. Crow is like the little brother he never had.

The Spider, The Shore's Only Law, founder of "House" Spider:

He may or may not have low key threatened Spider before he left the Tangled Shore with Crow. From day one, even as someone who is by default insufferably cheeky, the amount of disrespect. Ooh, bitch.

Spider calling him Killer (especially around Crow) got under his skin so fast, you would not even believe, and it was all Wolf could do not to leap across the room and strangle him to death any time they had to do deals.

As far as Wolf is concerned, if he never sees the Spider again, it’ll be too soon.

Uldren Sov, Prince of the Reef, Master of Crows:

Khhhh, hoo boy. The hate. The Frothing Hatred he had for this little man. Wolf had never in his life wanted someone dead as badly as he wanted Uldren Sov dead.

Being friends with Crow and his 16th reset has softened that a lot, and he’s learned a few things about Uldren that have made other things make a lot more since sense then, but. Yeesh.

Mara Sov, Queen of the Reef, Queen of the Awoken, Ex-Kell of Wolves:

Very mixed. He never dealt with her directly, but Wolf has a natural aversion to any form of leadership just by nature. That she cornered the House of Wolves into subservience doesn’t help, but on the other hand, if she hadn’t been at war with them, things would have turned out a lot different for humanity at Twilight Gap.

Variks, the Loyal, founder of House Judgement:

Speaking of shifty motherfuckers.

Wolf definitely likes Variks and his reset between Shadowkeep and now has conveniently erased the memory of knowing Variks had a hand in Cayde’s death.

He does what he can on Europa to help Variks get Salvation rebels to safety if they just want to get the fuck up out of there and is happy to do knife tricks for him when he asks. Variks has made a lot of questionable decisions, but it’s all been done for what he believes is the good of his people, and Wolf can respect that.

Mithrax, the Forsaken, Kell of Light, founder of House Light:

Hasn’t met him, but he’s heard... a lot. With Mithrax being the Kell of the House of Light, Wolf is hopeful it’ll be a good step in the right direction toward uniting humanity and Eliksni. He’s pretty sure they’re both doomed if they can’t at least fight alongside each other temporarily.

The Exo Stranger/Elizabeth "Elsie" Bray, Granddaughter of Clovis I and Sister to Ana Bray:

Wolf is incurably nosy, so he finds Elsie pretty frustrating. She’s full of secrets and never hangs around long enough to explain what the hell she’s talking about or what her end goal is, but she’s been invaluable on Europa. Once she finally opened up a little bit and started actually telling him important things, he found her a whole lot easier to get along with and it helped to have her around when he was discovering a lot of things on his own about where Exos came from.

Eramis, of House Salvation, Kell of Darkness:

He... gets where she was coming from, in a way. She was angry and desperate and that kind of thing is easy for the Darkness to take advantage of. He can’t rightly blame her for grabbing onto anything she thought might save her people, even though it’s ended in yet more trauma for them.

Eramis isn’t someone he’d go out of his way to try to be friends with if she was ever freed from Stasis, but he would hope she’d more or less see the Light and realize that her methods needed some serious rethinking.

Empress Caiatl of the Cabal Imperial Empire:

Wolf has a lot of respect for Caiatl. She watched her home burn down around her and has used that pain to fuel a cause he thinks is pretty noble. Humanity has been at war with the Cabal for a long time now, and both sides have suffered incredible losses because of it. He thinks that trying to mend that and join forces is a good idea, but for once he’s kind of with Zavala on something: They shouldn’t have to swear fealty or subservience to a foreign empire to have their support against a threat that’s coming for both.

He’s holding out hope that if they show their strength against her greatest warriors, she’ll understand that Guardians and humanity as a whole are more beneficial as equals, not cannon fodder. It only takes one Guardian to decimate an entire Cabal squad, after all.

The Darkness is fast approaching. How is your Guardian handling it:

He’s... handling it. It’s been getting harder in recent years to just not think about things which has been his entire motto since he was first revived. More and more he’s having to confront head-on the things that scare him the most, and there’s only so much running away you can do before you run straight into a corner and have to choose between extinction and fighting until you draw your last breath.

Wolf isn’t a pacifist by any means, but it’s just one of those things where he’s starting to realize his way of living just isn’t sustainable with the system in such chaos. The Hive used to be just another threat he had to deal with every so often, but now they’ve become the Big Bad that are outpacing even the Vex in terms of imminent destruction of several species all at once. His biggest hope right now is that humanity, Eliksni, and Cabal can all set their differences aside, at least long enough to try and put up a defense against the Hive and the Darkness. If they can’t, then... well, they won’t have to worry about it for very long, at least.

And finally, does your Guardian have any advice for any New Lights:

Be good. Be understanding. Tell the people you love that you love them every single chance you get, because you never know what could happen out there. Don’t treat everyone as your enemy, because you may find friends in strange places, and how you treat someone may be the difference between waking up dead and surviving to see morning, but most importantly; Don’t look back. You’re not going that way.

#w16 #i need a meta tag for all this stuff oogh #meta

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two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat · 5 years ago

Text

CW: transphobia, homophobia. Also pretty long and I'm on mobile so I cant put a read more thing on it.

Ok so this is kind of a personal post so if you don't wanna hear about some of my personal drama, just scroll along. But I feel like I need to get this shit on record somewhere since I don't have the screenshots of the texts this is concerning anymore.

So a little over a year ago, I told the person who'd been my best friend, we'll call her E, since I was about 9 that I didnt want to be friends with her anymore. More on that later.

Back in senior year of high school I started thinking I might be Bi. I brought this up to E and she was super dismissive right off that bat. Saying that I wasnt, sounding like she was trying to console me. Like being Bi was this awful thing that I needed to worry about.

Well fast forward about a year and a half and I went up to my college with her so I could do new student orientation since I was starting the next semester. This is when the fact that I was Bi sort of smacked me in the face because the girl doing my orientation was super hot. I immediately knew I wouldnt be telling E that.

Fast forward to march of 2017. Its spring break. I've reconnected with my high school friends. I've never felt the need to hide my sexuality from them and they were instantly nothing but supportive of me. We never really hung out outside of school back in high school (or in elementary school either in Eric's case.) I start realizing that I've been having more fun with them then I ever did with E. And I finally had people to geek out about sciencey stuff with because E doesnt believe in science but eric LOVES science. It was nice.

Well a couple weeks after spring break me and Es mutual friend Althea asked me to drive her to the shelter so she could get her boyfriends cat fixed (it's way cheaper there then at the vet) and spent the day hanging out with her because she WAS planning to walk back there to pick up the cat afterwards and I was like "uh no. I'm not gonna make you walk across town by yourself." So I finally got to meet her boyfriend. Well that afternoon E came and picked me up to go up to the KU campus to get some more bus passes to go to our college in KC because our school was out of bus passes and didnt know when theyd get more.

Here's when I kinda started to realize I should maybe get out of this friendship. On the way to campus E starts telling me about her day at school and how "theres a girl that used to be a guy in one of my teachers other classes. It's making me uncomfortable."

Me: "that sounds like a you problem, E."

Now I knew she kind of thought that way already. She may not have said shit like that around our other friends but I had to hear it a lot. But because I'm pretty nonconfrontational and she was my only close friend outside of school and I was terrified of being alone, I usually just ignored it or politely debated her about it but generally just agreed to disagree. This was the first time I ever decided to speak up to her about it. Unfortunately I couldnt say much cuz her mom was the one driving us and i knew she agreed with everything E said.

But I'd been hanging out with althea and her boyfriend (who just so happened to be trans) all morning so suddenly having to hear E talk about how uncomfortable trans people make her got me more fired up than usual.

After this I slowly started distancing myself from her. I'd been hoping for a few years that she'd grow up and accept that not everyone is like her and try to be more open minded and accepting of people. Apparently that wasnt happening.

I stopped responding to her texts as often. I was trying to think of a way to talk to her about it but all my past friendships that fell apart, did so naturally and on a silent mutual agreement. So I was half hoping that would happen. Pretty stupid. Dont recommend. Just be straight with people.

After a few months of me only answering her texts every once in a while, she decided to start calling me multiple times a week. Often while I was at work. Sometimes from her mom and sisters phones when I wouldnt answer from her number. Idk y she thought that would work. She knows I hate talking on the phone.

I still didnt know what to say to her. I probably should've just told her I needed some space and she might've backed off for awhile so I could figure it out. But subway stressed me tf out. And i have no idea how you're supposed to end a relationship with your best friend of over 10 years.

(Also some of my other reasons for not wanting to be friends with her were specifically because of althea and I didnt want althea to get dragged into it. Unfortunately it ended up happening anyways. But basically back in highschool, if we were planning for all four of us (me, e, althea, and nikki) to get together, and nikki would have something come up, E would tell althea our get together was cancelled but would still have me come over and then made me promise not to say anything to althea about it.)

Around march or april of last year I blocked her family's numbers. This is when they started showing up at my work. The first time it happened I had a long ass line and was helping my coworker get through it before I left. Her sister came in by herself and just asked how I was doing but left pretty quick after she got her sandwich since it was busy. A couple more times they came and just parked outside like they were waiting for me to get off my shift but ended up leaving. The last time it happened E came in while I was there alone and I really didnt wanna have THAT conversation while i was at work alone and her crazy overprotective mom was out in the car waiting for her. So i made her sandwich very quickly so i could get her out as fast as I could.

I was planning on finally talking to her around the end of april but was still having trouble figuring out what to say.

Unfortunately any plan I had to let her down easy was sort of thrown out the window on may 13th of last year.

My mom texted me that morning about how she got a weird call from Es aunt. On her work phone. This is basically how that call went:

"IS THIS OLIVIAS MOM?????"

My mom, suddenly worried it's my work and something happened to me, "Yes?"

"Why isnt olivia talking to E anymore?"

"............I dont know."

So that kind of crossed a line for me. It really freaked my mom out.

I'm bad at articulating my thoughts when I'm mad or stressed out tho. So my friend Alice ended up writing out the text for me and I read through it to make sure it was ok.

Basically it said "I'm sorry but I dont think we can be friends anymore. The way you talk about the LGBT+ community makes me extremely uncomfortable, especially seeing as I am bisexual and have several friends in the community. The way you used to exclude althea from hanging out with us because you think shes annoying and then expect me to lie to her about it makes me uncomfortable. It was inappropriate to show up at my work unannounced to corner me into talking to you when I needed space. And it was even more inappropriate for your relatives to call my mom at work. I'm sorry I didnt say something sooner but I'm tired of pretending I'm ok with everything you've said over the years."

Then her mom texts me. I dont remember all of it but the gist was "you're a horrible person. E never judged you or anyone else (sure, miss "gay people are gross. I can see how conversion therapy might work." Totally isnt judging anyone and 100% cares about the lgbt+ community.) The only reason she did those things is because she was worried about you."

Then E left me a voicemail that I couldnt understand at all cuz she was crying and I felt terrible even tho everyone was telling me I shouldn't. Now I probably should've taken out the part about althea because it effectively threw my "not wanting to get althea involved" plan out the window. Honestly what really pissed me off about this next part both made me pissed at E but also at myself. E removed herself from the group chat I had with her, nikki, and althea. Blocked althea on Facebook and blocked her number. Didnt bother to explain why. I still feel terrible about this even tho althea has told me many times that it's fine and if she'd had to pick a side she wouldve picked mine. But I still felt like she at least deserved an explanation.

Alice told me to screenshot the texts. I almost didn't cuz I just wanted to forget about all this. But I did.

Anyways life moved on. Eric got a new phone and gave me his beat up galaxy s7. I stuck my s6 into a drawer and let it die and forgot about it.

Then on new years I got a call from althea. Not weird at all. She calls me every major holiday and birthday. Shes done this every year since junior year of high school.

Normal phone call at first. But then she says that her mom has been talking to E's mom. Apparently E's mom told altheas mom that I told E that althea hates her and thinks shes a terrible person and that's why E hasnt been talking to althea. Althea of course didnt believe that but wanted me know about it. This prompted me to try and charge up my old phone and get the screenshots off of it. I had it plugged in for a couple of days and it never turned back on. So that's out apparently.

That's also why I felt the need to get all of this written down. It may not be as great as having the actual screenshots but I'm bad at articulating my thoughts when confronted so I want to have something written down in case any of this comes up again.

#cw: transphobia #cw: homophobia #i needed to get this out while i could actually put it into words #this is the first time in a while that i actually can #personal #homophobia #transphobia #i never post stuff like this so hopefully im tagging it right

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yourfeminist · 6 years ago

Note

All of the asks. If you don't want to answer some that's fine, I'd be interested in all of them ☺️

Hell yeah i’m down! Thank you a lot! Have a nice day or evening!

zinc white; how are you really feeling today? no one-word answers please!

Well I woke up today and I thought I had to work at 8AM but I didn’t need to work so that kinda sucked. But otherwise then that I’m fine! I need to do a few things today so I look forward to do that! Thanks for asking

lemon; what’s your comfort food?

Chocolate!

hansa yellow; what’s your guilty pleasure song?

Rich Girl by Daryl Hall & John Oates!

yellow ochre; name an artist/band whom you just discovered & can’t get enough of!

I recently discovered Billie Eilish and she’s pretty cool. But other than her I don’t remember any new album I listened to

naples yellow; where do you feel most at home?

Well my parents are divorced so ngl at my dads I feel more home because there are a lot of other people and I enjoy that. But when I’m at my moms I really love my room and that feels like home too. So I can’t decide :)

raw sienna; with whom do you feel most at home?

My (girl)friendgroup and one friend specifically that always makes me feel like home. When we are at the same party I always feel less awkward or uncomfortable ( I have social anxiety and sometimes it’s really acting up). So I’m really glad that he has that feeling.

golden ochre; describe the relationship you have with your closest friend.

We can talk about everything but still we don’t always do. We have a great friendship and sure do love each other but we don’t say things like that to each other. We also see each other pretty often. One of my best friends💕

golden deep; what’s your favorite season?

This anwser always changes but atm It’s spring! I really enjoy the weather where you don’t have to wear a jacket just a hoodie because of the sun! Yup really love that. OH AND everything starts to grow again :)

cadmium orange; what do you like to do on your days off?

Watch youtube video’s, watch a few episodes of a show, reading and mostly relax!

orange lake; do you have anyone you can turn to when you’re sad?

yup I do but this girl right here is kinda dumb because I never talk to anyone because I have this feeling that when I do I bother other people. And I know I don’t but still I won’t do it haha. But I’m working on it! So if anyone has the same feeling feel free to come to me or ask me how I’m dealing with that.

titans; do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings?

Both! But I prefer evenings a little more. Because then I see my family and friends more ( i know cliche :p)

shakhnazaryan red; are you currently binge-watching anything?

BROOKLYN NINE-NINE!!!!!!(cool cool cool cool cool no doubt no doubt) And I’m watching Teen Wolf for the second time haha

red ochre; are you more right-brained (creative) or left-brained (analytical)?

Right brained!

burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it?

Starry Night by Vincent van Gogh!

english red; what animal do you relate to most?

A CAT!!! LOVE SLEEPING LOVE CUDDLING AND SOMETIMES I LOVE TO BE A GRUMPY FUCK

vermilion; what’s your favorite accent?

Hard one!! I really like Irish ( @bleubelle249SO YOU BETTER HAVE ONE :PPP) and Scottish! But ngl I reaaaally love Australian accents, so hot.

cadmium red; do you have a “type” when it comes to a significant other?

Nope I don’t mind tbh. But dark hair and dark eyes are plus !

scarlet; describe your current crush/es.

Dark haired, dark eyed 6′2 and his name is Noah Centineo and he doesnt even know I exist :). But other than him I don’t have a crush!

ruby; what does your ideal first date look like?

A walk at a park and maybe picknick and a fun activity and dinner later in the afternoon and for the night a movie! But tbh everything is okay, I’m not that hard to statisfy.

carmine; what does your ideal second date look like?

Anything the other person want to do!

madder lake red; would you ever kiss someone (or accept a kiss) on a first date?

Yes I would. I would only kiss someone if they want to (CONSENT KIDS, ITS IMPORTANT) and I also would accept one if I’m comfortable. But there needs to be a connection tho. Otherwise a quick peck on the cheeks.

rose; what’s something really positive going on in your life right now?

That I’m working on myself to become a healthier (mentally) me. Because it took waaaaaaaaaaaaay to long.

quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to?

My drivers licence!

violet rose; what does your dream house look like?

A very cozy house. Nice, warm with a library and a lot of plants and flowers! A big garden with both sun and shadow. With a few neighbours. And I would love to live at a dead end next to meadow!

violet; is there any place in particular you’d like to settle down?

Somewhere in England, USA or Australia. Maybe somewhere else in Europe, don’t know.

blue lake; what would you like to do/accomplish before you settle down?

That I finished college. I’m financial stable and that I worked hard for the things that I have. I don’t like doing things the easy way.

cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to?

Český Krumlov in Czech Republic

ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it?

A week ago. I just felt good. Don’t have a reason for it.

blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember?

That I was dating a collegue who is also a friend. it was a really weird dream but I didnt tell anyone because my friends ship us hahahah

bright blue; what does your dream family look like? any kids or pets? how many of each?

I don’t yet if I want kids (or that my partner does) but if I would have kids I want 3 em. And both a dog and a cat!

blue cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could? Yes I like my name (Anouk) and no I will not give myself a different name because I don’t think an other name will fit me.

prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent?

Depends on my mood what it is; like a candle or perfume or deodorant. But probably vanilla, lemongrass and citrus.

azure blue; what’s your favorite type of tea, if any?

Earl grey!

turquoise blue; if you could start a garden, what would you plant?

SUNFLOWERS!!!!!!!!!!! And a few trees and nice flowers that grow each year.

cerulean blue; if you were guaranteed to have a viewership, would you start a youtube vlog?

yes probably. I secretly would love that haha

glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives.

Tall, nice skin, long arms and long legs and my stomach kinda has a sixpack.

yellow green; picture yourself walking in a field. what do you see & hear in this scenario?

Probably something like this. But with more high grass. And I soflty hear the wind and a few birds chirping.

green light; are you in a comfortable place in life? if not, what do you think might make it better?

80% of my life is! What do I think might make it better? Me. But don’t know how yet.

green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them?

1. Italy2. Australia3. New zealand

Yes! They are all three on my bucket list so I will for sure visit them!

emerald green; do you speak any languages besides english? are there any additional languages you want to learn?

Yes I speak: Dutch, Frisian and a tiny bit of German. And I really want to learn Spanish!

oxide of chromium; what’s your favorite book?

That’s way to hard for me to choose. So i am not going to give you an anwser :p

olive green; are you currently reading anything? how do you like it so far?

I am reading the Game of Thrones books. Currently reading A Clash of Kings (second one)

mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh?

Coco!! And all the Harry Potter movies!

burnt umber; what’s something you plan to do before the day is over to take care of yourself?

Nothing haha

umber; have you drank enough water today?

Not yet! But it’s still morning so don’t worry!

voronezhskaya black; what or who is your go-to outlet for when you need to vent?

I don’t vent a lot. And if I do it’s not a go to person. Probably my dad or anyone else from my family or friends

sepia; name five things that always make you happy.

1. Animals2. When people are happy3. When people are smiling 4. Music!5. Kian and Jc (shout out to them, they are youtubers)

indigo; what’s the best/sweetest compliment you have ever received?

That I’m a very relaxed person to be with. My friends told me that when we had a test I’m made them less nervous. And I really like that.

payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic?

Art

black; post a selfie because you are so beautiful!

I would rather not post one but I’ll guess I will post one

There ya go!

Thanks again!

8 notes · View notes

idexstuck · 4 years ago

Text

what is kissing various ccuers like? find out

vivian: awk af and will force ur hands up to touch her face. altho thinks its 10x more hot for u to just touch her lips not actually smooch her. might end w her trying 2 like eat ur hand killian: hes a dad. also divorced 2 times. so weird is an understatement. also full indiana dad semi-aftershave beard so double awk. altho if u like that good on ya. needless to say he kinda is occupied w trying to eradicate humanity but he makes time exceptions 4 u. lips taste like regret and $5 cedar lake beer c(d)r: again awk as hell. high energy tho. prefers little 'muah' pecks. if on lips: redbull and coffee. makeouts r rare but cdr isnt rly a ~sexy~ person (lawyer). would love love love if u initiated smth further tho! but if u are not comfy thats ok :) xiang: gravity increases in a good way like when u get underwater so far & water pressure does that thing it does where you just feel .zip'd. soft lips rating = 12/10 kris: dont try to be sexy and bite his lip you might catch his lip ring and that hurts him be careful :( otherwise also p awk but in a very endearing way pre gb emerson: apyr :) post gb emerson: his lips taste like broken dreams, expired yogurt, and porn. 0/10 but he likes to shove his tongue down ur throat and if u find that hot congrats. also will use his es. just enjoys the idea of escalation. rly hard to 'just' kiss him bc if he wasnt already horny for everyone its ESPECIALLY bad for u. ender: doesnt know what human affection is but hypothetically will not have an understanding of being normal. will try and succeed to hurt you. if you dont like it he wont be affected (MEAN!) unless he cares abt u (partner on his quest for revenge). if you like it congrats hes not abt to go bdsm and hurt u unless u ask tho eva: not interested in romance but you're special :) at first shes eh to the idea of making out bc tht takes up time but it grows on her. likes human intimacy ig. kisses are very sweet and very nice :) 20/10 jacobi: smoker so not great. also doesnt shave so not great. kinda awk and not rly in an endearing way either. you have to teach him. but hes trying ok???? juno: electric! loves kissing thinks the idea of smashing faces is weird but also AzanPog. will like it if u run ur hands thru his hair so do it :) ruth: has never been a romance guy post-HS and frankly has naught the time nor energy for it rn (except for u). so hes just kinda rusty. likes to be guided and told what to do not in a weirdo way just ig u gotta let him know cos he needs to know ur boundaries if escalation. otherwise hes super nervous. will maybe surprise kiss u if he is brave! :) holo 0302: kiss -> makeout -> devolves into (if you so desire) hard and heavy fuckin. cant really control itself enough to stop UNLESS you give the word/it senses u arent having a good time. otherwise its rly possessive of u. always wants to be the instigator. always tries to get ur clothes off as fast as possible lol tour: AWKKKKK but it is ok. she isnt for pda or hell even private da so moments are rare w her. u have 2 initiate. super duper rusty also lips chapped af. not rly one for making out tho. sometimes u get insecure like oh does she not love me and the answer is no, she does, just bad at showing it smop: weird she doesnt rly care abt romance or face smashing at all. also unphased by 99% of advances or innuendos or anything remotely romantic. have 2 tread carefully w her. first kiss probably 6mo after u started dating but shes like huh i thot we were jus rly good friends. its super sloppy and she has no idea what shes doing but its ok cos its endearing rich: need i say anything. its perfect every single time. pure euphoria. rly good kisser too. ur welc johanna: messy & sloppy af because she insists upon not initiating intimacy unless shes super inebriated. she doesnt want you to overwrite trevor in her mind so she just hopes the alcohol will get rid of the taste of ur lips. doesnt work. first sober kiss is still weird and shes rly hesitant. u got 2 feel it out w her. takes a looong time to escalate since shes uncomfortable but thats ok. when shes at that point then o ya she loves nice long chill makeout sessions. probably with the caveat that every so often she takes a massive swig of beer (remember to work out this idea with her beforehand as to not overstep boundaries). lips obvi taste like beer. sooo much jack daniels. nikolai: will never initiate intimacy. u have to sit him down and tell him its ok but he still wont. loves it if he is never in control of the scenario. would love it even more if u escalated w/o him asking and hes afraid to ask. but if u eventually deprogram him he might initiate sometimes. kisses are super weird hes not used to em. whys his mouth taste so salty wtf? clara: very clinical. she is not by any means a romantic. but still nice tho since any intimacy is a good act of opening her shell! issac: CHEFS FREAKIN KISS BABY. better than rich. even if u just have a fling u will never ever find anyone who can even just smooch u like he does. filled w emotion and also hes super nice ig so :). handles u so carefully not in a fragile way but in a loving way. mouthtaste for sure some kinda minty flavoure. or a nice wine :) reina: she makes u feel so safe. thts all i have 2 say. u are Held ingrid: are you crazy? schuyler: actually not as bad as one might think. prefers u to initiate. obvi used to be a heavy smoker and drinker so he is kinda bad for the mouth ya feel. acquired taste for sure. if u like southern men, congratulations. dr.w: go grandpa go jim: would start happy crying if u asked if u could kiss him. then would say no. ur gonna have to wait a LOOOOOOOOOOONG ASS TIME to kiss him. just be patient. notice that his acts of intimacy are skewed towards nonphysical- hes a great listener and is very attentive to u! those are good :)

#IT IS A DELUSION A PERSONAL CREATION PERSONAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#textpost

0 notes

angrybelieverconnoisseur-blog · 6 years ago

Text

How do I get 1 day car insurance in virginia?

"How do I get 1 day car insurance in virginia?

Someone is giving me a car I am picking up in newark and I need one day insurance to drive it back because i dont have money right now since my job doesnt start til 2 weeks from now and its my first job since my car accident 2 months ago. I tried calling elephant because I thought they had 1 day insurance but they keep transferring me to a place that says they dont have it. I dont know who to call

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://insureinfo.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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Im 18 i was speeding to get to school, 50 in 35... The ticket was worth 50 dollars, i pay 1200 a year for insurance and i was wondering how much it goes up, and my insurance company is farris insurance in Hickory NC, and my sister works there.""

Health insurance for someone on a Fiance Visa to the U.S.?

My fiance is travelling to California on a fiance visa this month. We have 3 months to get married and then we can apply for his permanent residence and social security, which I hear will take about 6 months. Therefore I don't think I can put him under my work's health insurance. In the meantime, what can he do about health insurance? Will travel insurance w/ medical coverage be okay until I can put him under my health coverage?""

How do you find affordable health insurance?

I have a friend of mine who lives in Florida. He had open heart surgery a few years ago. After the surgery was done, the Dr walked in the room and told my friend he really never needed the surgery to begin with. He is trying to find health insurance and he is having trouble finding it because of his heart condition even though now he doesn't have one. Most of the health insurance companies want more then $1500 a month to insure him. How does he find affordable insurance in the US?""

How much did your car insurance rate increase when your 16 year old began driving?

What are some good websites that talk about insurance options for a single parent?

I'm working on a health project and I can't find any websites that give me insurance options for a single parent. Can anyone please give me any trusted sources?

Does color of car affect insurance rates?

In the market for brand new car. Does color matter with insurance? Ive heard red is most expensive.

How much do you think my car insurance would be/added on to my mother's insurance?

I'm 18 and just now getting my license. My car is a 2001 Ford Focus ZX5 that I bought for $2500. My mom is going to add me to her insurance which is $50 per month (I know that is outrageously cheap I'm so jealous lol). I just want a loose loose estimate because I'm also in college so I'm only working 15 hours a week at minimum wage.

Car insurance for a day/week for a learner

Hey, basically i am going to take my practical test in a couple of weeks (14th) and im taking it in my car, i was just wondering if there is any companys that specialise in car insurance for just a day or a week for learner drivers. if so what companys and how much am i looking to have to pay, thanks""

Will my insurance expire if I choose to pay by down payment?

Im 19 and have a payment of $565.90 but I can make 5 payments of $121.00 because $565.90 is way too much to be paying right now. My insurance expires 6/15/12 and I need my car since I just recently quit my job and need it to look for a job ASAP. So If I choose payments instead of paying whole, will my insurance still cover me past 6/15/12? Thanks in advance. I drive a hyundai elantra and live in Los Angeles California""

Landslide in San Diego.....are the homes covered by homeowners insurance?

Are there any insurance that would have covered for their losses?

Any 1 know a cheap insurance company??

im 17 and a provisional driver.i have jus bought a car because my test is soon. i want to insure my car as a learner and then change it to full license when i pass my test. is any 1 with a cheap insurance company?

What states don't require auto insurance?

As a young driver auto insurance is way to expensive. Since I drive a Mercedes most quote me at thousands of dollars a year. More than what I can afford. I know some states don't require car insurance if you can prove you have the financial means to pay out if you cause an accident. I need a list of those states that don't require auto insurance if you can prove you can afford to pay out. On top of this question how do I prove I can afford it. Do I need to keep a minimum amount of money in a bank account or do I have to buy a bond how does it work. And if it works with a bond or bank account please list the states with the minimum $ you need in bonds or account money. The reason Im asking is that I can easily get a minimum amount in my account (hopefully under $10,000) because id rather have $10,000 sitting in a bank I cant use than having to pay thousands a year for insurance I don't need. I been driving for 3 years and I never had an accident and im confident I never will (at least not one that's my fault) so I don't wanna waste thousands of dollars I need for my school. The reason Im asking is cause im looking for a state that suits me. So far Vermont and new Hampshire have laws to my liking but hopefully you guys can give me more possibilities by answering this question. Thanks""

A question regarding auto insurance?

even though I have no need of a car/cant afford one, my parents are still pushing me to get a license as soon as possible because they say it will reduce your insurance cost when I eventually do get a car, are they right? thanks""

How do I get 1 day car insurance in virginia?

How much does motorcycle insurance cost for a teen?

I am currently 15 , next year i will get my liscence and buy a Kawasaki Ninja 250R 2010. I live in Quebec, and I really need an answer, please not just a go get a quote.. just give me a number please!""

Is my car insurance still valid?

My partner has been banned from driving, he is the first named driver on my car insurance and I am the second driver. Am I still insured to drive my car?""

Will this up my car insurance?

If I buy a normal Volkswagen MKV Golf, and get a new bumper fitted and put some black alloys on it, will it up the insurance by much? I'm not trying to 'chav' it up, I simply want more of an R32/Jetta bumper and grille. I also want to have the interior retrimmed in white leather, how much would this up the insurance by? Thank you :)""

If i have fully comprehensive insurance can I drive someone elses car? Im 18?

Basically i got a quote from admiral for about 600 for fully comp insurance on a 900cc fiat, would I then be able to drive someone elses car? As this would work out a heck of a lot cheaper than actually insuring me on the other car [3k cheaper to be exact]""

How long can you take leave for NJ short term disability?

I've been at my current job since December so I am ineligible for FMLA. However, I understand that short term disability for pregnancy gives you 4 weeks prior to your anticipated due date and then 6 weeks after. Is this correct? Can this amount of time change if your company uses a private insurance plan vs submitting directly through the state.""

RX-8 annual insurance cost?

So I'm 18 and male, just got my license and need to buy a car soon. Set my sights on an 04 RX-8, but I need to know if I could afford the insurance. I have no accident history (obviously) would be primarily commuting about 15 miles a day, and would go LIABILITY ONLY on my parents' plan. GUESTIMATES WOULD BE APPRECIATED AS WELL AS WHAT YOU PAY FOR YOUR RX-8!! Spank you bunches""

How much insurance do you guys pay for a Harley (v rod)?

I am planning on buying a hd v rod soon and I'm 21. I've been driving my car for almost 6 years and have a clean driving recorrect (if it matters). I was wondering how much people pay for motorcycle insurance?

Health care reform. Does it work?

Our new health care legislation is supposed to provide affordable health care and insurance for everyone. How exactly does that work? For example, I make about $37,000 a year. About $3200 of that goes to pay my insurance premiums. That's not really affordable, but, whatever. My job absolutely sucks. It's the worst one I've ever had. If I went to work at McDonald's or Wal-Mart, where would my affordable health care come from? Who decides how much I can afford to spend? No politician is going to be able to figure out how an ordinary American lives and what they can afford. I know this sounds like angry, bitter ranting, but it's a serious question. How does this work, if it actually does?""

2009 honda and liability insurance?

hi there, I'm 22 years old and currently pay 116 bucks a month for a 959 deductible and I think it sucks. Is it possible for me to get liability insurance on this car I've had for 2 years??""

Which insurance company in Ireland provides the cheapest car insurance and best service?

Are you required to pay insurance?

Once you get your drivers liscence do you have to pay insurance ??

How much home insurance & tax for a cheap studio?

I know 0 about this: are home insurance rates annual or monthly? Could someone give me just a very rough idea about how much a cheap studio's home insurance & tax would cost? (in ...mostrar ms

How much would insurance be for a 2009 camaro for a 16 year old first car?

""Car Insurance, passed test today, 18 years old, cheapest insurance?""

Hi, I passed my test this morning and I live in Birmingham in the UK, I was wondering if there was any companies that do cheap insurance for my age group.. The car I have is a 1.4 Ford Fiesta Zetec, and was looking on paying 2500 maximum. Thank you!!!""

Does anyone know how much your car insurance will go up on a 1st offence dui???

Looking for a cheap car to insure for a teenager?

I am 16, and have had my license for a few months. Right now I am driving one of my dads cars, a Honda Element, and it is relatively cheap to insure. This in mind, I need a car of my own because he doesn't want me putting too many miles on it. I am wanting to buy a used car, relatively cheap (Max. price of $10,000 but I would like to keep it below $8,000 preferably) with low rates of insurance. I really like a 00-01 Jeep Cherokee, but am flexible. I just want a list of some cars with low insurance rates. Also, don't respond with nothing is cheap for a 16 year old because I know that. I am looking for something cheaper than most.""

Car insurance on Mitsubishi Eclipse?

Im only 16, almost 17. Female. First time driver. No accidents. We have Geico. The car is a 2007. 47500 miles on it. 2 door. I tried looking online for an insurance calculator.. I just wanna know about how much a month it would be.""

Why would a good car end up at an insurance auto auction?

Looking to buy a used 2009 vehicle right now with 9,000 miles. Seller states it was purchased at an insurance auction with a clear title. Autocheck confirms this info - single owner, no accidents, no thefts, no repossessions, clear title, etc. What might be the reason this car was at the auction in the first place?""

Does anyone know a cheap car insurance company?

Im About to Turn 17 and am Male,, I need to know if anyone knows of a cheap car insurance company, I have a 2002 Citroen Saxo VTR, I live in Dudley,UK Preferably i would like to pay less than 3000 (i am only a student) Preferably i would like to go in my name but i do also have the option to go in my 44year old dads name. If anyone could get back to me on this i would be very greateful p.s -- I have tried all of the comparison sites and have only found 1insurance company cheaper than 3k Gett Back to me please Thank You xx""

Do I need Mexican Car Insurance?

I'm driving from Toronto to Monterrey via Columbia Bridge. I was wondering do I need Mexican car insurance, since I've seen a lot of sites adveritising it I'm curious. And is my Canadian drivers license valid in Mexico?""

Does insurance agents give you the lowest price insurance?

or do they give you a higher priced insurance to make more profit?

Cheap car insurance/ first car whats been ur best quote?

hi im all most finished my driving lessons and wondering about the insurance ect i dont wanna spend hours on compere or that putting in details , but wondering if there r any first time drivers out there and give me there thoughts on how i would get a cheap car and cheap insurance Category""

What is liability insurance for?

If I drive my cousins car and I get pulled over by a cop and show him my cousins insurance will I get a ticket for not having insurance that's under my name even though I have his insurance?

Neighbors tree fell on my house and 3 of my cars whos insurance has 2 pay?

during a bad storm my neigbors tree fell over and landed on 3 of my cars and my house i was wonderin whos insurance has 2 pay? mine or the neighbors?

I was in a car accident with no insurance.?

It was a minor accident no injuries and my insurance ran out 3 days before the accident, i have got insurance again but The person I was in an accident with is taking me to court to try and get $2800 for the damages. Now I know his vehicle is not worth more than $1000. Could that mean that I can pay the price that the car books for and then he will have to give me the title, like insurance companies do?""

How do I get 1 day car insurance in virginia?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/rogers-new-mexico-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-88132-robert-watkins/"

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captainalwayslazycollectort-blog · 6 years ago

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how to compare health insurance quotes

"how to compare health insurance quotes

how to compare health insurance quotes

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr