#that Steve would have been able to break free from the brainwashing

[daydreamerdrew]

Bucky thinking, even before all the Winter Soldier stuff, that his positive image to Steve is at least somewhat manufactured/a mask and that he has to hide parts of himself from Steve so that Steve doesn’t think badly of him, and Steve idealizing Bucky after his death and thinking that he was perfect.

[dearanakin]

Break Free - Bucky Barnes x f!Reader / Part 4 (Final)

Summary: You and Bucky get intimate while you treat his wounds. Barnes struggles with his nightmares after spending decades being the Winter Soldier.

Warning: +18 smut, oral sex, penetration, fluff, minors DNI

Word count: 3.2k

☆☆☆☆☆☆

You've been staying at the same refuge for a week since the latest event. You and Bucky barely left the place, being cautious all the time. The soldier would sneak into places like he's never been there.

Since then, you've been granted with the chance of getting to know the real Bucky Barnes. You've learned about his early life, you've learned about what he likes to read, to listen to. He seemed to be learning some things about himself as well.

You would always pay attention to him, watching him from a distance to notice anything unusual, but you didn't find anything. Both of you didn't have to worry about Pierce anymore, Natasha made sure to leak every HYDRA content, including the Winter Soldier's.

Along with Steve and Sam, she defeated Alexander and killed him. At least for now, Barnes will have the peace he's been wishing for. And mostly, the peace he deserved to have since he was taken and brainwashed.

You were finishing your suture on his flesh arm, the bullet wound was slowly getting better. He was sitting on a chair at the kitchen table while you were softly patching him. It was funny how he looked at you with puppy eyes, which was new for you.

It was honestly new for him as well, he was so used to being this dark, broken, assassin man, he didn't even remember how good it was to feel warmth inside his body. It wasn't the first time you caught him doing that, it felt like gratitude for him, to be taken care of by you. You were what he really needed inside HYDRA, to have someone who wouldn't judge him for being a killer.

And you would actually never do that, knowing he was being brainwashed all the time. Barnes lost two decades fighting for his life while HYDRA constantly tried to break him and turn him into the most brutal assassin. He spent most of his life being from one fight to another.

While you were gathering the first aid kit, you didn't see when Bucky got up and stood next to you, still watching you being distracted. You felt his metal hand grab your waist and turn you around to face him. He grabbed all the stuff from your hand and left them at the table, still staring at you. You noticed he was about to kiss you, but you didn't have time to protest.

He dipped his tongue into your mouth, letting out a groan when he found yours. His kiss was feral, and you felt it in your gut when he pulled you closer with the other hand, cupping your cheek. James lead you to the kitchen island and made you sit there, never leaving your mouth. As you wrapped your legs around his body, he used his bionic hand and squeezed your thigh, making you gasp under his lips.

He spent the last days rehearsing how to make the next move on you, since he was never able to actually do it before. It was a desperate touch, you felt, but you liked it either way. You helped him get rid of your shirt, and he broke the kiss to take a look at you and your chest. You were wearing an ordinary bra, which would've made the moment a turn-off, but it didn't get to his attention.

Barnes used his flesh hand and slowly slipped the fabric until your nipple popped up, hard already. His eyes glowed, and he used his thumb to give it a soft touch as you were short of breath. He kissed you urgently, fast and needy this time, making small circles with his digit on your skin. Your cunt was already burning under your clothes, but you didn't want to rush it, it was probably one of his few experiences.

Bucky tried his best to undo your bra without breaking the kiss, and it didn't take him long until you were exposed to him. He felt his stomach sink at the view of your hard nipples begging for him. He used both hands to stroke your skin, and you felt your heart beating out of your chest for the next seconds.

It caught you off guard when he feverishly pulled half of your breast into his mouth, softly sucking on it and making delish noises under his breath. As he used his tongue to circle your nips, you were already so wet for him, it made your walls throb by the thought of him inside you.

You grabbed his long hair by your hand, while enjoying every second of his moment, making kitty noises and groaning in an undertone. You felt desperate to feel more of him and tried to get rid of his shirt while he was still eating your skin raw, it was hard for him to leave your nips, leaving a "pop" noise when he stood back.

You watched as his whole body flinched, your legs trembling while he helped himself take his jeans off as well. You were delighted to see he was wearing white boxers, they were easier to sneak a peek on. His bulge was already pulsing inside the fabric, and Barnes was panting while he watched you stare at him with lust in your eyes. He pulled your pants with such agility, it almost took your panties with it.

"God, this is like a hot mess", he whispered, still looking at you. Both hands resting on your thighs as he squeezed them. His eyes were flickering with lust as well, and you threw yourself at him, capturing his lips with every intensity you could have.

Bucky trailed his hands slowly until he found your panty strap and pulled it off without hesitation. You knew this was going to be it for both of you, mostly for him. He barely had time to get it off of your body, when he saw your cunt, beautifully and graciously wet for him, it made his cock pulsate.

You heard him let a small groan before spreading your legs a little, so he could see it better. You were perfectly open for him and you weren't ashamed, you were actually hoping it would happen at any moment. The way things were happening made you almost lightheaded. The soldier left wet kisses while trailing your thighs and lingered when his mouth touched your folds.

God, you were soaping. It became tinder for you as you felt his hot, wet tongue stroking your slit. They were small, slow movements, but you felt like you were already in heaven. He didn't know how to keep his pace, but he knows how sex used to work, and it's not like he never saw people doing that before on TV at some point in his life.

He was making circles, using every ounce of saliva he had in his mouth, and it made you whine when he used his thumb to massage your clit. You were holding his hair with a grip, trying to keep yourself sane while still sitting on the kitchen counter.

Barnes started to speed his stroking, dancing with his tongue up and down your folds, and you started to moan his name. He was trying to give you the pleasure you deserved, but his cock was making his boxers become tighter and tighter. He snapped his mouth on your clit and started to suck on it like a candy.

You were feeling every inch of your body fill with desire and lust as you tried to not be so loud, but his touch and his mouth made it difficult for you to even breathe. "Oh, Buck", you whimpered. You heard him moan in response, and he sucked harder on you. His metal hand never leaving your hip as the other hand he used to grip your thigh.

It was the feeling of ecstasy for you that made you wake from the daydream and start giving him what he deserved. You pushed him slowly from yourself, and you almost fell down when you saw his face in delight, his scruff was damp from your humidity, and he was savoring your taste on his finger. It made your brain do a hard backflip.

The soldier was a motherfucking disaster, even in sex. You made him sit up just where you were and didn't even wait as you were already stripping him from his last piece of clothing. His cock slapped on his stomach and your eyes went straight to his monumental accessory between his legs.

It wasn't huge, of course, but it was perfectly shaped, and it was honestly thick, which made your mouth water and your legs shake. He was still heavily staring at you, panting, his chest pumping up and down, and he stroked your cheek. You looked at him, scraping your teeth with your tongue, before going down on him. You didn't have mercy like he did, you just wanted him to burst into flames with your mouth, and he grunted as soon as you licked his length.

It tasted like heaven for you, his salty pre-cum gave you goosebumps. You gave an open mouth kiss on his tip and he grabbed your hair, pulling it towards him. You tasted him entirely when you dug onto him until the tip reached your uvula and you reversed. You kept your pace sucking on him up and down, slowly, feeling every bit of his taste in your mouth, swallowing every drop of his liquid.

Bucky felt like he was in paradise, his cock would throb every time you would grab one of his balls, massaging it while you sucked him hard. You have learned a few tricks before, swirling your tongue around his cunt while pumping him, making sounds he was having trouble to digest.

You felt his hips moving around each time you ate him whole, and it gave you motive to deepen your blowjob, feeling his tip on the back of your throat. You tried hard not to gag, and yet it was still lustful for him to watch you.

"Fuck, this is so good", he mumbled, breathing heavily. You could hear him trying to catch a breath every second. Along with the panting, he was also proclaiming disjointed words you couldn't understand.

As he started to thrust into your mouth, Barnes let out a loud groan, still holding your hair with both hands. You were making it hard for him to breath, he was having a blast under every touch you gave him. He noticed you were moving slowly on his tip, just enough to detain his orgasm, leaving him on the edge of his breakdown. You moved your head slightly to look at him, and he was enjoying himself, eyes closed, and his head backed down. You moaned into him, he moaned back, and it made you soak.

He used his metal hand to gently move you away from his cock and sighed. You looked at each other with a flicker in both eyes while he stood up and went looking for his wallet. He grabbed a condom and walked back towards you, now carrying a small grin on his face. He made you sit back on the kitchen island, your legs wrapped around him as you kissed each other passionately while he wrapped himself quickly.

He pulled you closer to the edge of the counter, rubbing his tip in your folds. The touch felt like it was burning your skin, and he started to dip his cunt into you, slowly at first. You grunted so loud, he actually gave you a kiss to muffle your sounds. As soon as he filled you, he started thrusting lustfully, feeling your walls stretch every time he got in and out.

Bucky dropped his head on the crook of your neck as he started to pump into you harder, hitting on the back of your cunt. His moans in your ear made you tremble under him, your arousal begging for more of him inside you. He used his bionic arm to grasp your hip furiously, while the other hand was placed on your chin.

You took advantage of his hand and sucked on two of his fingers, soaking them while your head goes back and forth. His cock throbs inside you, and it makes you whimper on his fingers. The soldier is already lightheaded, he tries to inhale all the air in his lungs, but he's lost in his own furor. He lunges inside you deeper and faster, but doesn't want to reach his peak before you do, so he just enjoys every moment and every inch of you.

After a few minutes, you notice he's grabbing you and pulling you from behind, knowing it would be easier for you to get to your highest level of desire. Barnes is always gentle and makes sure you don't get hurt when he's pulling himself inside you, but when he reaches all the way up, he starts stroking so hard his hips slaps against your ass and you scream.

He doesn't care anymore about the loud noises and joins you along with the wet sounds your cunt makes against his length. You hold yourself by your arms on the counter as you also ride his cock with vehemence, learning he's holding back his orgasm. You hold his metal hand and guides him until you find your clit, giving him the hint that it would help you reach out faster. His cold fingers give you goosebumps, and you start riding him faster each stroke you feel.

He lingers just two of them on your clit while blasting at you, his head starts feeling heavy, and he rests on your shoulder as you hear his tired moans. As he starts moving faster, you feel your orgasm coming up stronger. You almost faint when you feel the pleasure take your entire body, your legs start shaking, and you breathe heavily under him, making a small sound of desire while fall into his arms.

When Barnes feels your walls seem tighter after your orgasm, he thrusts into you with so much desire it doesn't take longer for him to splash into the condom, throbbing inside you. He let out a loud gasp over your ear as he feels like he was locked out for God knows how long. He takes his time before getting out of your cunt, and until then, he starts leaving small kisses on your back, while you're both panting.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

You were asleep when you heard a loud grunt next to you. It wakes you up suddenly, making your heart race, and it scares you and your head immediately analyze the entire room until you realize it's coming from Bucky. When he starts screaming, it makes you jump scare from the loud noise.

You get closer to him, trying to wake him up. It wasn't the first time he had nightmares, you should be alarmed already, but it always ended up getting you off guard. You grab his face with both hands and start calling for his name, but he's still trapped inside his dreams. You try to shake him and stroke his hair, while calling for him, and still nothing.

You get desperate, because you honestly have no idea what to do this time. When it happened before, he would easily wake up, out of breath most of the time, but still. Now he was standing there, still unconscious, yelling and saying disjointed words. You get up and stay on his side of the bed, trying to make him sit up, watching if he wakes up.

But you shouldn't have tried that. His metal hand grabbed your neck furiously and threw you against the wardrobe, making you hit your back. You didn't know what to do, you weren't sure there would be anything you could do.

You could call Steve and ask him for help but until then, who knows what he would be capable of. Barnes got out of bed and walked towards you, carrying a different look in his eyes. He was only wearing sweatpants, his chest was dripping from sweat and he was still heavily breathing.

This time you weren't capable of asking him to stop. You were trapped inside the room with him, while he was trapped inside his own nightmare. He went full Winter Soldier without being triggered and it scared the hell out of you.

"Bucky, please. Please wake up!", you screamed while getting up, running away from him. You reached your phone and the only idea you had was something you weren't even sure would work.

He was still walking after you around every furniture while you typed words on the screen. You played a high pitch noise with the max volume and it makes him stun on his feet. Bucky closes his eyes and flinches his eyebrows with the loud noise your phone makes. He starts holding the head and crouches on the floor. You don't know if it's safe to check on him, but he asks you to stop, and you do.

"Bucky?", you asked, panting. You were looking at him from a distance, while he was also panting and recovering from the loud sound.

He looked at you and stared at your neck. He knows what he's done, and he feels guilty. Barnes opens his mouth and closes it countless times as he reaches up to you.

"What have I done? I'm so sorry, darling", he said, his eyes were pleading. He cupped your face and hugged you tight. You felt him sighing. "I am so sorry. Are you okay?".

You agree without saying a word, your heart sinks from his words. You know he doesn't mean any of that. "You were having a nightmare again and wouldn't wake up. I figured it might work".

"God, I'm such a mess", he weeps in your arms and you comfort him. "I'm so sorry for putting you into my shitty mess".

He sounds like he's crying and you start crying in his shoulders. You grab his chin and shake your head. "It's not your fault, Buck. Don't say that again".

He knows it's not, but he can't wrap his head around the fact that he's still the Winter Soldier inside him. And until he wipes all these tormenting memories out of his head, he's still going to struggle with himself. You already made sure you're going to be there for him all the time.

"No matter how long it takes for you to get rid of that, you know I'm always going to be here", you snuggle him, resting your forehead against his. James gives a genuine smile and breathes into you.

"I know. And I'll be forever grateful for that, dragă", he says, leaving a kiss on your lips. You look at him, confused, and he smiles eagerly. "Oh, it's 'darling' in Romanian. In fact, I never told you I'm half American and half Romanian, have I?", he asked while placing kisses across your cheeks and you laugh.

He wraps you around his body and makes your way into the bed once again. The soldier lies by your side and cuddles you while you're on your back to him. He uses his bionic arm and holds your hand with his, resting his head on your shoulder, breathing harmoniously in your ear.

Bucky closed his eyes and noticed you were, have always been, and will always be his comfort. He knows he can rely on you, and make you his refuge, his heaven, his actual home.

[fortitudina]

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Rebecca Penelope Barnes NICKNAME: Becca, Becky, Becs, Red Widow AGE: 101 ( looks 40 ) BIRTH DATE: March 29th GENDER: Female SPECIES: Human ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Biromantic SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual RELIGION: N/A SPOKEN LANGUAGE: English, Russian, German CURRENT LIVING CONDITIONS: A mid-city apartment OCCUPATION: Close Combat agent for L & Strix / Freelance Agent ( Formerly Redroom Widow & HYDRA Agent. )

RELATIONSHIPS

PARENTS: ~ Mr George Barnes ~ Mrs Winnifred Barnes SIBLINGS: ~ James Buchanan 'Bucky' Barnes SIGNIFICANT OTHER: ~ Verse Dependent CHILDREN: ~ N/A FRIENDS: ~ Steve Rogers ~ Natasha Romanoff ~ Yelena Belova OTHER CONNECTIONS: ~ Valentin Demiurgos ~ Lucien Morningstar ~ Adrian Strix ~ Uinseann McConnell

PHYSICAL TRAITS

EYE COLOUR: Blue HAIR COLOUR: Striking Red or Brunette HEIGHT: 5ft 7 inches BODY BUILD: Mesomorph TATTOOS + PIERCINGS: Pierced Ears, Red Room tattoo on her wrist NOTABLE PHYSICAL TRAITS: Surgical scars and combat sustained scars upon her body.

POWERS & ABILITIES POWERS: ~ Above average stamina ~ Above average Strength ~ Hard to kill ABILITIES: ~ Expert marksman ~ Skilled in Hand-to-hand combat ~ Highly skilled in espionage WEAKNESSES: ~ Can still get hurt by any form of weapon ~ Her brother.

PHOBIAS & DISORDERS

PHOBIAS: Thanatophobia MENTAL DISORDERS: PTSD WHEN WAS THIS DIAGNOSED?: After she was free of the Red Room

PERSONALITY

PERSONALITY TYPE: MORAL ALIGNMENT: True Neutral INTELLIGENCE: Above-average intelligence LIKES: Movies, Martinis, going for runs DISLIKES: Not being in control, disorganised people, poor time management, Routine being broken. DISPOSITION: She is very much sassy and likes to joke about but at the same time, she is incredibly hard-working and loyal. She cares deeply about her friends and family and will do as much as she can to ensure that they are happy and do not get harmed by anyone or in any way. EXTRAS: She can be quite hot-tempered at times, along with reckless.

BIOGRAPHY

TW: DEATH, WAR, TORTURE, BRAINWASHING

Born to George and Winnifred Barnes, Rebecca Barnes is the younger sister of James Buchanan Barnes. The family grew up in Shelbyville, Indiana until their parents were dead and the two siblings were separated. Whilst Bucky went off with their Dad’s friend to Camp Lehigh, Rebecca was forced to endure boarding school. She was only 14 and having lived with her parents until their deaths, being shipped to a new school, in a new city daunted her. 

She focused on getting herself through her schoolwork; it was a welcomed distraction from the fact that she no longer had either parent ~ Winnifred had died whilst she was only a tiny child but George had been killed in an accident whilst training at the camp her brother was now staying at. There were the winter, spring and summer breaks, along with thanksgiving, where she was able to visit James at the camp, meeting and getting to know Steve in the process too. The three became a family in their own way, vowing to stick together, no matter what. 

At the point that she graduated and could no longer reside at the boarding school, Becca enrolled at New York University, doing a degree in biology. She was in the middle of her studies when news that America was joining the war after Pearl Harbour broke out. She tried her best to get hold of her brother but by the time that she could, she’d heard the news of both him and Steve heading off to join the war effort. 

Many nights were spent wondering if they would come home again or not. She hoped endlessly that both would do so. Then came the beginning of the letters no relative wished to receive. First came the Missing in Action letter. Rebecca did not want for it to be true and she hoped for weeks, that news of him being found would come but instead came the letter that no one wanted, ever  ~  Killed In Action. 

Rebecca did not believe either of the letters, despite them having broken her heart. She knew her brother; knew his stubbornness and determination to live, knowing that he would not allow himself to be killed. From the moment she graduated from NYU, Rebecca made it her mission to find her brother, no matter what the cost. She found Agent Carter and Howard Stark first, asking them what they’d done to Steve and asked that the same be done to her with a slight age progression so that she didn’t look so childlike. She had no idea at the time, that it would then stop her from ageing completely. The process was painful, but she wanted to have the best chance at finding James as she could. 

When everyone was certain that the war was over, that was when Rebecca went in search of them. She was aware that even Steve was lost now too, but no one had any clue of his whereabouts, either. As much as she loved Steve, her focus was on her brother ~ their connection was considerably strong since they only had one another. She made her way to where he was last seen; made her way into the remnants of the base there, fishing for clues that might lead her to wherever Bucky had been taken. That was when she ended up being taken, herself. 

She put up a good fight, considering she hardly possessed any former training ~ only the little bit that her dad and Bucky had taught her. She was taken by HYDRA, made to become another of their little minions for a time before a fault in the system meant that their little brainwashing machine failed to fully rewire her mind and thought process. She mimicked the mindset that she could remember; that distant and emotionless expression, answering their orders, right up until they went on a mission and she managed to slip from their grasp. However, she fell from one organisation to another. She hadn’t realised that they were deep within Russia at that point and, as a result, walked directly into the hands of the Red Room. 

They treated her better than HYDRA did, even if she was still a slave to the cause, but with them, she was quickly one of the top agents and one tasked with looking after the newer recruits and posing as a parental figure to some of them. One day, she was given the means to free them from the assassin's hold and did so, freeing them of the Red Room’s clutches, along with herself. 

That was when she took herself back to the US. She made it her mission to blend in with those around her, unknowing that both her brother and Steve were still there, until one day, she walked straight into them. Now, she’s happy to be back in that little family of theirs and to live a relatively normal existence. 

[fea395-alejandroruiz]

Journal #9

This week for class we viewed the film Captain America: Winter Soldier. In the film, Steve Trevor learns that the terrorist organization Hydra has brainwashed and is manipulating his long time friend Bucky to do their bidding. The film has gathered a lot of attention because of the queer readings of the film and the potential romantic subtext between Steve and Bucky, even though both characters are seemingly depicted as straight. One aspect of this film that I found to be most interesting is while the film heavily surrounds the relationship between Steve and Bucky, the badass assassin Natasha Romanoff is thrown right in the middle of them to diffuse any homosexual implications. The film plays with the relationship between Natasha and Steve in a really weird way, as they have no chemistry and Steve is clearly not interested, yet throws them in situations where they have to kiss or be intimate. Meanwhile, the whole film Natasha is trying to set up Steve with all these different girls. It’s like the filmmakers are yelling at the audience, “Steve can’t be gay! Look at these potential girls he can date!”. The only real purpose of this dialogue is to detach any romantic implications with Bucky. After all, Bucky and Steve have such a strong connection. Seeing Steve was the one thing that broke Bucky out of his brainwashing, like how Sleeping Beauty is awakened by her true love’s kiss. Seeing Steve woke Bucky up, and he keeps repeating “I knew him”, as it’s the one thing that Bucky is able to remember from his life. 

In addition to the film, we had the reading “The Monster and the Homosexual” by Harry Benshoff. The reading looks at the view that homosexuality is seen by some as a “monstrous condition”. The existence of homosexuality has always been seen as monstrous and different compared to heterosexuality which is seen as normal (p.117). Bucky can be read as a monstrous character as he has a metal arm and has unfortunately become an experimental puppet to Hydra. He’s a killing machine and is only seen as such, except for Steve who still sees the man he is deep down. Steve sees past the “monster”. To Steve, Bucky is perfect and he loves him and won’t give up on him. Even Steve could be categorized as a monster, as he was also experimented on to be a super soldier, making him different from everyone else around him. Two soldiers from a different time, completely changed, but still having that love for each other. In the reading they reference that in one of Margaret Tarratt’s essay’s “Monsters from the Id”, that in Hollywood monster movies of the 50′s the “monster represented an eruption of repressed sexual desire (p.121).” And while we cannot confirm if Bucky’s feelings for Steve are sexual, we do know that he loved him. And that love and emotion is what was being suppressed by Hydra because that’s what ultimately would free him. Whether or not the queerness of Captain America: Winter Soldier is unintentional, it’s hard to deny that Bucky and Steve’s relationship is so full of love and that love is what saves Bucky. Bucky’s love is repressed and Steve is able to break him free. While I can see how casual audience’s may not see this relationship, it doesn’t mean that it’s not there. Queer readings of media are valid readings.

[soviet-ghost-story]

"What was I thinking?? What - no! Steve-" Bucky didn't know what it was that Steve wanted to correct in the past, but he had an inkling as to what it might be - if he allowed himself a moment of conceit and thought for two seconds that Steve' would endanger entire timelines for his sake. However, Bruce had explained to him what he knew about timelines after the fact - that even if something were changed in the past, all it would do would create alternate timelines; nothing at all would change for them in this one. Even if Steve had been able to catch him before he fell from that train, it would have only mattered to that Bucky - he would still have ended up here, a former slave to HYDRA, languishing in a cell awaiting judgement. "What are you thinking? No! I'm not going to do this." Bucky didn't approach the bars, though he had stood. As he did so, it became obvious that he was down an arm - the prison officials had deemed his prosthetic a weapon and disabled it, removing it from his person. "I know you think you're doing the right thing, but this time, I'm going to face the music. I'm here of my own free will, okay? I chose to turn myself in because I'm tired, Steve. I'm so tired of running, of hiding. Do you think that I want to be here? You think I think I deserve to be here? I know I had no choice in what HYDRA forced me to do. I know I was brainwashed, I know because I was there. Remember? I survived that. You always think you can solve problems by punching your way through them, that you've always got the right answer, but this time, I need you to listen to me. Please. If you break me out of here, I'll never be a free man again. You'll be wanted, and whoever helped you in here will be too. And I'll...be hunted for the rest of my life. I won't be able to rest, won't be able to stop looking over my shoulder. I spent seventy years in captive slavery to a Nazi organization, Steve, and two years after it looking over my shoulder wondering when they would come for me. Would you really make me go on the run again? This is...my chance. My shot at freedom, actual freedom. Maybe, if I get a good enough lawyer, if we can get people to testify, get the evidence we need organized to present, maybe they'll grant me clemency. A pardon. Something. But I'll never know if you unlock these bars and drag me out of here. I break out of here, and I'll be HYDRA's Winter Soldier for the rest of my life, as far as the world is concerned." Bucky squared his shoulders and frowned at him intensely. A part of him wanted to go with him, so badly that it hurt - the part of him that was irrational and quietly in love and desperate to be free after spending most of his life in a cell. But a louder part of him knew better. Plant yourself beside the river of truth, Steve - isn't that what you always said? "If you care about me at all - If you were ever my best friend, then you'd respect my choice. I haven't exactly had the luxury of one in my life. This is my choice. I don't want you to throw everything away for my sake, and I don't want to throw away my chance at being free either. I'd like you to...stand with me, ideally. I wouldn't say no to your help, or your solidarity. But I'm not leaving with you. Not today."

❛ i know i shouldn’t be here but … i just needed to see you. ❜

The last time he had seen Steve, it had been there in the woods, when an elderly man claiming to be Steve had given Sam the shield. The man had vanished after that, and Bucky had been upset about Steve leaving him behind then, and he had fostered that pain all the way until now. He'd turned himself in after the dust had settled - to face his past, to face the truth of what HYDRA had forced him to do, to face justice in the hopes that perhaps they would show mercy to a man who had been manipulated, tortured, and brainwashed. He doubted they would, but he had been a war hero once, a long time ago. The authorities had cuffed him and put him in the Raft for safekeeping until his hearing could commence - apparently, the world was in disarray after the return of half of the population so abruptly, and procedures were taking time. Furthermore, even though Bucky had turned himself in and had proven to be uninterested in struggling against this willing captivity, they had deemed him too dangerous to be held in conventional prison while awaiting his day before the tribunal. Inmates in the Raft rarely got visitors; only important people were allowed entry into it, and no one around who might have wanted to visit him were important enough to gain access. At least, that was what he had thought - until he heard that voice. Bucky stilled, his heart jumping into his throat. His eyes unfocused as he clenched the book in his hand and refused to look up - it was not the voice of an elderly man speaking to him from behind these bars. He knew it had to be impossible, and that bitterness and hurt flared up again at the very idea. His breathing quickened, and it was almost a panic attack threatening to overtake him - that wouldn't do; he didn't want anyone within the Raft to think he was volatile or unstable. Closing his eyes, Bucky took a deep breath, and steeled himself before he opened his eyes and raised his head to look up over the top of his book. He stared in silence at Steve Rogers looking at him, those familiar blue eyes looking pained, saddened to see him behind bars like this. Bucky breathed out and sat up, his jaw straightening. "...Shouldn't be here?" he asked quietly. "Am I hallucinating?" It was entirely possible; he was quietly mentally unwell, he knew - perhaps there had been a psychic break over the trauma of being abandoned by a best friend. But Steve seemed real, standing there. "...You left. How are you here?" He stood, but didn't approach the bars, still wary. "...Was the past not...rosy enough for you? Why'd you come back?"

[omni-scient-pan-da]

How I personally would've had Rise of the Titans go

Spoilers under the cut

Alright so, first of all, Douxie wouldn't have lost the seals at the end of Wizards to begin with

After having Charlie read the ancient draconic, Douxie would've kept Merlin's staff intact and decided to break it ONLY when they needed it as a bargaining chip or something

When Douxie returns to see that all his friends sans Krel have been taken, he works with Krel to build the time loop machine thing and maybe we get some extra scenes of them being cute together

He lures the order to the shop again, but instead of ACTUALLY GIVING THEM THE SEALS he creates an illusion of some sort, maybe something made in conjunction with Akiridion tech so the enchantment lasts longer and the Order doesn't find out what's up, and he tosses that into the time loop instead

The rest of Wizards basically goes as planned with Douxie and Nari going on the run, Claire keeps Merlin's staff as the only other one that can do magic and as a failsafe in case the Order ever realizes they don't have the real seals

ROTT starts fairly similar, the team has divised a trap to stop the order once and for all, the team fails and Nari and Douxie swap again, because Douxie is a self sacrificing bitch that would rather be in danger himself than see his friends get hurt

They all regroup, James panics, Striklake engagement reveal, maybe Barbara asks Claire to be her maid of honor? 👀 And they try to figure out a way to get Douxie back

Aja shows up and like I've seen a bunch of other people saying, the seven kisses thing is an engagement ceremony rather than a baby making thing, Steve and Aja both panic, especially when Steve realizes this makes him king(? Prince consort?) Of Akiridion-5, cue line from Krel about how their planet would be doomed if the blonde oaf ended up ruling alongside his sister

Krel and Aja actually get a moment to catch up since it's been a long time since they've seen each other

They go to save Nari and of course Claire and Douxie are there because neither one of them is going to sit behind and they don't trust leaving the staff on Camelot because they're paranoid and somehow, in their attempt to free Nari, the staff breaks

The real Genesis Seals are revealed for the first time and they escape with Nari and one of the seals (because there's like three seals right? I had no idea why all three were in the same place it would've made more sense to separate them don't you think?)

The other two seals are with the Order and things are not looking good, the gang is panicking and they realize that running from the Order forever isn't going to work and that maybe they're not the best at setting up traps

Instead they outfit Nari with some magical/Akiridion mind-control resistance just to be safe and try their hand at setting up another trap with the anti-magic ray thing

The trap once again fails and this time the Order kinda knows what to expect so they end up with Nari and the remaining seal and are able to unleash the Titans, except this time Nari isn't completely brainwashed and they're able to help her break from the orders control quickly

Varvatos arrives with the Gun Robot and teams up with Nari to defeat Skrael's Titan, leaving just Bellroc to defeat

James realizes what's wrong with the amulet but instead of needing some cryptic message from Nari to tell him how to get the sword out of the stone, he remembers the whole "WE are the Trollhunter" speech he gave back in like S2, and that's how he figures out how to get it free

Everyone gives it their all to help Nari's Titan fight Bellroc's and through sheer force they're successful, but at the cost of Nari herself

However they did hear about the kronosphere or whatever it's called from Nari before she died so they hunt down that to try and figure out what the heck she was talking about

It takes a while but they're able to figure out how to combine Merlin's staff with Akiridion tech and part of the Heartstone because they realized how powerful it was (also symbolism for the characters from the three shows coming together) with the kronosphere and manage to make a device that lets them travel through time

This also triggers the memories of the Trollhunter gang and the 3 Below gang from the Porgon incident and they're all like "Hey! Would you look at that"

Anyways, with the rigged up Kronosphere they're able to go back in time and save people (Draal, Vendel, Nari, Merlin, Morgana,etc) just before it's too late so it doesn't have an effect on the timestream (think like the Lost series from Margaret Peterson Haddix where they pull people from the timestream like right before they're about to die so nothing bad happens to time)

The movie ends with the Stricklake wedding, and Jim and Claire are both like "that's gonna be us one day" and everyone lives happily together as one giant found family

[bloodymarymorstan]

“it’s good for Bucky to not have Steve around anymore because he’ll get to figure out who he is on his own” uhhhh actually Bucky’s entire sense of self is tied to Steve so strongly that without him Bucky would have never been able to re-form his identity in the first place???

some things to consider:

- all the times we’ve seen Bucky break free of his brainwashing have been directly because of Steve

- when Bucky was trying to figure out who he was he went to a museum exhibit about Captain America

- the journal he used to help remember things about himself had a picture of Steve in it and seemed to be pretty focused on Steve in general

- after he becomes the Winter Soldier again temporarily in Civil War the first things he remembers when his comes to are facts about Steve

tell me again that Bucky losing the only person who actually knows who he is separate from the Winter Soldier is good for him

[thefanbasewhore]

The Weeping.

Prompt no. 4 from @wkemeup 's 9k challenge! - Character A is being held hostage. Character B offers to trade themselves in A's place.

master list || tag list

Summary || After you're taken from a mission, Bucky offers himself in order to insure your safety.

Paring || Bucky Barnes x female reader

Word count || 1,660

Warnings || abduction (kidnapping??), violence, gun-fire, mentions dead bodies and blood, angst.

Side note || clear eyes is Bucky and yours way of saying everything is okay and this is shorter then I intended it to be, I didn't have a lot of time to write it, so if it seems rushed, I'm sorry.

The mission was supposed to be simple - a quick in and out, retrieve the information and burn that place to the ground but even that seemed unattainable at the moment.

Bullets whiz through the air, penetrating the barrier of sound that make Bucky's ears ring. To anyone else it is frightening, usually follows screams of terror but it's something he lives for, the only familiar sound to stay with him constantly through the years. Adrenaline makes his body visibly tremble, chest conforming to laboring breath in order to stay quiet. Those crystal blue orbs narrowing, fine wrinkles bunch on the skin of his forehead as he nods towards you, on the opposite side of the room but still in his peripheral vision.

He nods once more - just to ensure that the hallway is clear. His heart is thumping against his chest right along with your own, fingers clenched the butt of your to bring it closer to your chest, raising it as Bucky moves in front of you with his own. The walls are splattered with red, fresh blood as you maneuver through the corpses' that lifelessly scatter the floors and the dark hallway seems almost endless, except the flickering light at the end of it. With every muffled gunshot it turns into darkness only to be unexpectedly brought to life again. "Stay low.." Bucky whispers as he follows your stance - back against the wall and a free hand reaching for the spare knife hidden in both of your boots but not before he extends his arm and fingers grasp the buckle across your chest with a gentle but meaningful pull, "Clear eyes?" "Clear eyes." Bucky nods softly as the cool vibranium finger sculpts the structure of your jaw with twinkling eyes. "Be careful in there, okay? You need anything --." He taps the shell of his ear with two fingers, and you nod in understanding. With one last glance Bucky turns towards the double doors, a hand pressing against the handle as he uses his body weight to push it open with ease and the moment he does more gunfire echoes the walls of the room. A sudden blur of motion catches his attention as his breath hitches as his arms wrap around you as bullets whiz through the air, only inches away from piercing your skin. Bucky uses the other door as cover as metal bullets ricochet. Smaller fingers clench into his flesh arm, forming indentations of small crescent moons as a means to seek cover. Bucky's arms wrap around you pulling you into his chest to shield you from any stray bullets but the heavy door behind his back is a strong enough metal to take the blunt force of the bullets without breaking through. His soothing hands find your hair, breathing heavily as he angles your face to meet his eyes. "Are you okay?" Your throat tightens at his worried expression but nods to confirm you were not hit. Bucky nods back, eyes setting in a hard line as he keeps you between his legs but peers over the threshold of the floor but a warning short from around the corner bounces off the walls. "Fuck." Bucky whispers as he reaches into the pocket of his tactical pants, but you don't need to look to see what he's got. "I'll go up the stairs, you go to the right." He pulls the pin out, rolling it into the room and waits until a thick, white cloud of smoke fills the hall, with one last nod he pulls his glasses down, fingers tapping the side as they click to life. You follow behind, gun raised in the air as you follow through sweeping the rather large room. The smoke is thick - suffocating, throat closing due to the inadequate amounts of oxygen, but you swallow the ball in the back of your throat while trying to maneuver through it, the glasses didn't help much. Footsteps cause you to jump, turning in every direction but the cloud is too thick and they near closer following along with your frantic motions to protect yourself with a mixture of anxiety and fear coarse through your veins. Something is mumbled to your right but it's too late, two rather large hands roughly grab at your hair, pulling it into a tight fist as another set of hands catch your leg - pulling into your fall onto the ground, hitting your head hard enough that dark, round dots cloud your vision. Before you could even manage to move - the cool surface of a blade touches your neck and your raise your hands in surrender as the weight of the man moves to crush your chest, face still veiled behind the white smoke. Without a word he turns you around, pressing your cheek against the floor with a rough hand as he pats down your suit, pulling the knives out with a snarl as his friend picks up your gun. 'Sweetheart, where are you?' Bucky's voice is muffled from the fact that the man's hand presses against it, but it vibrates his skin and it's yanked from your ear and crushed between two fingers. When the smoke dissipates the man brings you

to your knees, hands wrapped around your wrists with an unforgiving knee digging into your spine. "If you want her alive, come out now." A thick, foreign accent bounces off the walls of the room as the hand tightens, the other goon on your right holds your gun up as a blur moves in the corner of your eyes. Bucky's eyes meet yours in a panic as he rounds the corner, raising his gun to the man that holds your hair which only causes him to say something in a foreign language, digging the knife into your throat until it stings with pain. Every ragged breath the sharpened blade nicks the thickest column of your neck. "Let her go." Bucky hisses through clenched teeth, jaw clenching as seafoam eyes darken like the night sky. The man smiles evilly, a sick grin that reaches his eyes, makes Bucky's stomach drop inside his stomach as he twirls the knife around a dirty, unmanicured finger. "Didn't think we'd recognize you with that haircut, Soldat?" The skin of your neck burns as a yelp of pain fills the room, blood smears his fingers and invades your senses and the words make Bucky's eyes narrow, squeezing them shut at the words. The smell of smoke, gunfire and metallic make your head spin as Bucky lowers the gun to the ground, hands raised in the air. "Take me, let her go." "What use do we have for you now, Soldat? You are no longer our winter soldier; they have rid you of that." The man's sick chuckle causes him to shake his head, eyes wild with paralyzing fear. "That's not true - I feel him, he's still in here." He pauses, guilty eyes flicker to your own and back up the to man's, "Just let her go, don't hurt her." "No, no." You manage to mumble, tears stinging the waterline of your eyes as you grit your teeth in pain, he never lets the pressure of the knife go as you try to suppress a shiver. Bucky lowers his head with shame, in complete defeat as he lowers to his knees and moves the gun further away. "He's still in here. You can get him out. Take me instead of her, please." "Stop, no!" Eyes of guilt refuse to meet your own, the secret you have known all along and Bucky's urge to smother the winter solider completely blinded him from the fact that this could happen someday. It's been years since he's been so called 'freed' but some roots are so deep they can't be removed, the inside of his brain still tainted with the dark soldier who refuses to stop haunting him after all this time. "Bucky don't you fucking do it!" Bucky ignores the calls, squeezing his eyes shut with emotion. It's not fair, all those years spent brainwashed, tucked away inside his own brain just to end up there again. He barely survived the trauma then but now - he would never be able to, not without Steve, without the Wakandian's again. "Walk towards me, slowly." The other man commands as Bucky nods an understanding to stand on his feet but pauses as the knife presses into your skin more, "Let her go first." The instant the knife is gone is relief, hand reaching up to rub the burning skin and smear blood against your gloved hand and along your neck. Roughly the knee against your back pushes you from the position of on your knees to leaning against the man for support as his arm crosses against your chest, hand crushing the windpipe of your neck. "I will count to three and you both will walk, you towards me, her out the door. Got it?" With every number your heart pounds inside your chest, face turning red due to the harsh grasp at the surface of jaw as a cough follows suit, chest greedy for oxygen as he releases. Bucky takes the first step forward, edging you closer with his eyes that leave little room for argument. Close, slow steps until both yours and his arm brush against each other The fat of your bottom lip quivers as he leans forwards, hands still raise obediently in the air to press his forehead against your own. "Buck -." "Promise me, you won't come look for me." It is rushed as the men in front of him yell but inaudible as you shake your head as tears push past eyelashes. "I mean it, forget about me, they'll never stop. Okay? No

matter how much I try, they will never leave me alone." "How could you say -." There's a rough tug on his hand, pushing him forward but he uses the last second, he can spare to press one more heartbreaking kiss against your lips and before you could comprehend what coming next - a burning, red-hot pain radiates at the base of your skull and numbing darkness consumes you.

tags: @sugarpunch-princess, @old-enough-to-know-better73, @maxsaturdayhatesnarwhals, @Fajitasandfics, @devilswaldorf, @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123, @grubler, @SodDy030, @agent-catfish-kenobi,@scarletglowss, @abitchforbarnes, @xxlovingfandomsxx, @jewishdelis, @klorpski, @kaitieskidmore1, @peterpstuff, @akaaaaashiiii, @angelsandsorcery, @moony-is-bae, @yliumy, @watermelonsponge, @stolenxkissess, @peakascum, @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme, @crvecem, @likealadygodiva, @harrysthiccthighss, @burnerbitchh, @sergeantjamesbbarnes, @amelia-song-pond

[superhusbands4ever]

I don’t want Crosshair to have an Anakin Skywalker redemption arc.

I want Crosshair to have a Bucky Barnes recovery arc.

I don’t want Crosshair to do a bunch of dark, evil things, get the chip out or have a change of heart or realize what he’s doing is wrong, do one good thing or save someone’s life, and then die for it.

I want Crosshair to do a bunch of dark, evil things, get the chip out or break through the chip and realize what he’s doing it wrong, do something good and/or save someone’s life, and then survive to have to deal with the repercussions and face the consequences.

Not legal consequences. Crosshair is, at the end of the day, a victim of the Empire. He’s being mind controlled. He’s been brainwashed. He’s been Winter Soldier-ed.

Yes, he’s killing civilians. He’s hunting his brothers. He’s hurting people. He’s ruining lives. He’s killing people. But his actions are not his fault. He’s just the puppet, the Empire is pulling his strings. He has no control. He’s being forced to commit these crimes. However… he’s still the one doing them. And he has to face the emotional repercussions of doing that. He has to redeem himself to the people he hurt in able to recover from that trauma.

I could go on and on about the parallels between Crosshair in just the first 3 episodes alone, and the Winter Soldier. There are direct, scene for scene parallels between the two characters. I want so desperately for them to continue that trend.

To talk about Bucky Barnes/The Winter Soldier for a second: obviously, Bucky is not to blame for what he did during his time as the Winter Soldier. Hydra was the one in control - they tortured him, they hooked him up machines and wiped his mind, they took away his free will, they made him fight and kill and torture strangers, friends, foes, the guilty, the innocent, civilians, criminals, politicians, etc. As an audience we know this, we understand it and we sympathize with him.

But… he still did all those things.

One of my favorite Bucky scenes (and honestly probably the scene that really made me fall in love with him) was in Captain America Civil War when Bucky and Steve are on the quinjet to Siberia to fight the other Winter Soldiers.

Bucky: I don't know if I'm worth all this, Steve.

Steve: What you did all those years... it wasn't you. You didn't have a choice.

Bucky: I know. But I did it.

Bucky is able to acknowledge that while he didn't have any control over his actions and what he did, he still did bad things to innocent people. And those innocent people are still going to look at Bucky and see the man who caused them pain, hurt, and suffering. Sure, they might understand logically that he wasn't in control, that he wasn't the one who did those things. But we don't always think rationally when we are angry and scared and hurt.

We can see this later in Siberia when Tony attacks Bucky. Immediately after watching the video he turns to Bucky. We can see the resigned look on Bucky's face. Bucky understands. He understands that in that moment, Tony isn't thinking rationally. He is thinking with his emotions. And his emotions are blinding him, in that moment, to the fact that it wasn't Bucky who did those things, but Hydra using Bucky's body as a puppet. "It wasn't him, Tony." "I don't care. He killed my mom." Was Tony right to attack Bucky? No. Did Bucky deserve it? No. But we can see on Bucky's face right before the fight starts that he understands why Tony is doing it and honestly? Probably doesn't blame him. He understands that even though he wasn't in control when he killed Tony's parents, he still did it. He still caused Tony real pain that doesn't pay attention to things like fairness or blame. All Tony can see is Bucky's hands killing his mom, and they both have to face the emotional repercussions of that.

Another great (and less discourse-y) example of this is in Falcon and the Winter Soldier. We see Bucky continue to have to face the emotional repercussions of his time as the Winter Soldier. He's making amends for his actions and working through the psychological pain of it. He may not have been in control when he killed Yori's son, but it was still his hands that pulled the trigger. That is why he's so afraid to tell Yori the truth through the whole series. He thinks he's protecting Yori from the pain of knowing what happened to his son by not telling him, when in actuality he is protecting himself from that pain of what Yori might think of him after Bucky tells him. He's aware enough to know that Yori might hate him, never speak to him again, that he might lose a friend. Because while he wasn't in control when he shot Yori's son, at the end of the day, he died by Bucky's hands. Yori's son is still dead because of Bucky. It's not fair, but sometimes life isn't always rainbows and butterflies with a fairy tale ending.

Back to the Bad Batch: I want Crosshair to get his chip out and go back to the Batch and have to face the repercussions of what he did with the Empire. I want the Bad Batch to be distrustful of Crosshair at first. I want Crosshair to be afraid to be left alone with Omega. I want Crosshair to not trust his own mind. I want Crosshair to be hurt or get frustrated after the 15th time he moves too suddenly and Tech flinches. I want Crosshair to have nightmares. I want Crosshair to have to recover from his own trauma while also redeeming himself after the trauma he caused the Batch. Not just... die. Sometimes recovery and redemption is messy and ugly. But it's necessary and it's more interesting narratively than killing him off.

Do I think the show is going to do this? No. It's a children's show and they've already shown they aren't going that deep into the emotionality of everything. I just think this would be a much more interesting and complex way to carry on Crosshair and the Bad Batch's storyline while also providing opportunity for character development in the Batch outside of Hunter and Omega. They've already shown they know how to write a redemption arc - they managed to write a redemption arc for Kallus successfully and, while I love Kallus, he did work for the Empire and commit war crimes and participate in genocide of his own volition without a chip in his brain. If they can do it for Kallus, they can do it for Crosshair.

If they kill Crosshair off I'm going to be genuinely angry because it seems like such a waste of character and also a waste of good content and character development for the entire Bad Batch going forward. With the confirmation of season 2, I don't think they're going to kill him (yet). Right now my worst fear is that they'll get the chip out and he'll stay with the Empire or he'll reveal the chip has been kaput for months and he's doing all this because he wants to, which would make no sense based on what we've seen of him in season 7 of tcw and throughout this show. But that's for a different post. I guess we'll see with tomorrow's episode.

[batmayne]

𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 “𝐁𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐘” 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐒 - fluff alphabet by @snk-warriors

featured song: Hide by Juice Wrld and Seezyn

warnings: small mentions of angst

authors note: this was written before tfatws (aka before I knew bucky’s personality) so I apologize for any inconsistencies and or if he’s ooc.

𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 - what do they like to do with their significant other? how do they spend their free time with them?

Since Bucky’s only available time to spend with you would most likely just be time he had off in between missions (unless you were an avenger yourself), most of your time spent together would be spent relaxing. If you do happen to not be an Avenger or maybe live out of New York (kind of like Laura Barton) he would more inclined to spend time at your house instead of his own. You are his solace away from all of the peril and endangerment that comes with his everyday occupation from saving the world from various threats - anytime spent with you is enough to make him happy. Activities wise I believe that he would enjoy simple things like taking your dog for a walk in the park, visiting a local museum or even just going to a family owned diner to grab milkshakes. Time not spent out would most likely be spent indoors reading or watching movies.

𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐘 - what do they admire about their significant other? what do they think is beautiful about them?

I can’t imagine that things like appearance, weight and height mean a whole lot to him, your personality is what really drew him in. He was initially attracted to your kindness and patience, because just befriending someone with the amount of baggage that his past holds is no easy feat. Unlike others, you didn’t treat him like a monster because of what HYDRA had forced him to do for the past 70 years of brainwashing. He admires you for taking the time to understand him when no one else did, especially after Steve went back in time to be with Peggy. He and Sam had become close of course but it couldn’t compare to what he had with you.

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓 - how would they help their significant other when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He knows all to well what it means it be “feeling down” or having troubles mentally so he would be very understanding about it. If you a working or have some sort of occupation he would encourage you to probably take some time off to recover and if he was able he would take a break as well so you wouldn’t be alone. If it was more serious he would want you to go get help, because that is what you have done for him in the past.

𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐒 - how do they picture their future with their significant other?

As mentioned earlier, I think that seeing what happened to Steve after he decided to spend his life with Peggy and have children of his own really would have struck a chord with him. Once he came out of HYDRA’s possession I think he may have thought that a chance at having a different life with a significant other and even children would be near impossible - but after he met you he was willing to give that fantasy a second try. I think he would be over the moon with eventually marrying you when things calm down some (he wouldn’t want to put you in danger if some enemy was targeting him) and having a child or two (if you wanted). Overall I think he just just craves for a simple and peaceful life with you, without having to worry about the dangers of his job or the outside world.

𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐋 - are they the dominant one in the relationship or rather passive?

The both of you are definitely equals in this relationship, in every aspect. I have to mention though, some of that 40’s gentleman may come out at times where he likes to hold the door open for you or help you out of the car. But he would only do this if you were comfortable with it of course, if it bothered you or got on your nerves in any way he would definitely stop - no questions asked.

𝐅𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 - would they be easy to forgive their significant other? how are they fighting?

There may be more arguments in the beginning of the relationship because he hasn’t been in one in so long, and the majority of them center around either him not wanting to hurt you on accident (I imagine that he is still uncomfortable with his arm) or pushing you away. Eventually after he gets more comfortable around you the fights will lessen, but when they do occur you just give eachother plenty of space before reconciling and trying to work things out. One thing he will not do is leave for a mission without making up with you - if something happened and your relationship was left on a bad note he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.

𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐄 - how grateful are they in general? are they aware of what their significant other is doing for them?

Bucky is beyond grateful that you are with him and he would reassure you about it constantly. Befriending him alone is a huge task in itself, not everyone has the patience to even do something as simple as that. Taking the time to get to know and understand why he is the way he is without judging him for it is something that he will be forever greatfull for.

𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐘 - do they hide secrets from their significant other? or do they share everything?

As much as he would want to shelter his ominous and dark past from you he knew that wouldn’t be possible with him being a wanted criminal several years ago - he wasn’t exactly famous be he was definitely well known (unfortunately not for the better parts of his life). It would take him some time for him to open up about everything he has gone through, but after some time he will open up about it. It’s nothing against you personally, he just fears that once you know everything you’ll run away from him (which wou wouldn’t of course). He just needs some time.

𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 - did their significant other change them somehow or the other way around? like trying out new things or helped them overcome problems?

Your relationship has had quite the positive effect on him since the start, and it’s something that his friends would immediately take notice of. Of course you couldn’t solve and help with everything that HYDRA has put him through, but just having you around has done tremendous things for his mood. When Sam notices that he hasn’t said “I hate you” to him in the past week, he knew that something was up.

𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐘 - do they get jealous easily? how do they deal with it?

I think Bucky would be more protective than jealous, but not in a creepy or possessive sense if you get what I am saying? He wouldn’t mind if you spent a lot of time hanging out with friends or anything like that, but if he feels like someone is making you uncomfortable he wouldn’t hesitate to place a reassuring hand around your waist so they’ll back off.

𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 - are they a good kisser? how was their first kiss? and 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 - how did they confess to their significant other?

He isn’t particular with his kisses in my opinion, as long as they aren’t too sloppy and there aren’t many people around (I’ll discuss this more in the PDA section). I head canon that he really likes giving and receiving cheek and forehead kisses - but he will repeatedly deny it if you mention it to anyone else. (Your first kiss and love confession happened at the same time so I wrote a little Drabble about it below eugh)

Your first kiss took place when you were bordering the fine line between friends and something more. Bucky was taking some time off after a particularly rough mission and you gave him a place to stay away from all of the action. Finding him outside relaxing on a bench not too far from your house/apartment, you joined him and sat in a peaceful silence for a few minutes.

“Hey [Your Name]?” He spoke tentatively, distracting you from picking at the fraying end of your shorts.

“What’s up?” You questioned in turn, raising an eyebrow. Your breath hitched when you felt the coolness of his metal hand gently grab one of yours, and his human one placed itself on top.

“I just want to say thank you.”

“Bucky, you know you’re welcome to stay here anytime you need to-“

“That’s not what I meant.” He cut you off immediately, his voice wavering slightly. “I mean thank you, for accepting me, and not judging me for my past.”

“Of course.” You chirped back, maybe a little too fast.

It sounds cheesy but it did feel as if something was drawing your faces closer, and you eventually placed your free hand on his cheek as if saying a silent “yes”. When his lips finally pressed upon your own you felt an eruption of butterflies fly around your stomach, especially after you felt his arm glide around to your back. Once he pulled away it was hard to keep the smiles plastered off of both of your faces.

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐆𝐄 - do they want to get married? how would they propose to their significant other?

Marriage wasn’t one of the things he thought that he would be able to enjoy when he was rescued from HYDRA, but I believe after he began his relationship with you he would most likely change his mind. Within the first few months of dating he already knows that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you so why not go ahead and tie the knot? He’d probably wait around a year to ensure that you felt the same before popping the question. I don’t get the “proposing in front of a large crowd of people vibe” from him so I’d probably say he would propose at an at home dinner where it was just the two of you. Most likely on a holiday such as Valentine’s Day or someday that was meaningful for the both of you (like the day you met or when you officially started dating).

𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 - what do they call their significant other?

Other than your name, Dollface or Doll.

𝐎𝐍 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄 - what are they like in love? is it obvious to others? How do they express their feelings?

Now, I wouldn’t necessarily call him a simp - because that would be disrespectful, but. Other than being reunited with his childhood best friend Steve, you are the best thing that has happened to him. Of course you couldn’t possibly solve all of his problems and erase everything horrible that has happened to him but you sure do help a lot. Sam notices that he is in noticeably brighter spirits and he is also experiencing less nightmares. When a particular mission gets rough or difficult the only thing keeping him going is knowing that you are at home waiting for him.

𝐏𝐃𝐀 - are they upfront about their relationship? do they brag with their significant other in front of others? or are they shy to kiss etc. with other people around?

Similar to Steve, I reckon that he wouldn’t be comfortable with public displays of affection because of the era he was raised in, where it was more frowned upon. Another thing to remember is that even though his name has been cleared he was a wanted criminal for quite some time, so I imagine he is already somewhat self conscious about being in public already. Additionally, the nature of his job caused him to already be a wanted target for many dangerous people, and he wants to keep you away from that by keeping you a secret from the public. This isn’t to say that he would be opposed to hand holding or subtle things such as that, just nothing that what be too attention grabbing from other people.

𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐑𝐊 - what random ability do they have that’s beneficial in the relationship?

As kind as he is once you get to know him personally - there is no denying that he can be quite intimidating, even without the vibranium arm. Though not intentional. Being with him is like having your own personal bodyguard around you at all times. Normally, you wouldn’t even have to worry about the potential unwanted admirer because his presence would scare them off before they even attempted to say anything.

𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 - how romantic are they? What would they do to make their significant other happy?

I cannot emphasize this enough, he is the perfect gentleman. Since he is unfortunately gone so often (saving the world and all), I theorize that his love language might be Recieving Gifts. They may not be extravagant or expensive but they’re things he thought you would like from the various locations that he’s visitied for missions. As far as making you happy he’ll do just about anything (within reason of course). Take watching movies for example, there may be a particular genre or type of film he isn’t interested in, but if you want to watch it he’ll oblige because he knows you would do the same for him. Another thing is when he is at home and not busy with missions, he ensures that all of his free time is spent with you.

𝐒𝐔𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓 - are they helping their significant other achieve their goals? do they believe in them?

He may not right off understand everything you want to achieve and why, but he would certainly do everything he can to help you achieve in them. Like I said, he might not actually understand entirely all of your goals, but he will be supportive regardless.

𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐋 - do they need to try out new things to spice out their relationship? or do they prefer a specific routine?

Having been basically shut out from the world for the past 70 years, there is a plethora of things that Bucky has not seen yet or tried. Each date you have could mean trying something new, so things rarely ever get boring for with of you. While he doesn’t mind keeping a routine like getting dinner every Friday, its nearly impossible with what he does for a living.

𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 - how much do they know their partner? are they empathetic?

As you do with him, he knows you like the back of his hand. Even though he may not have known you throughout your entire life, I would say knows you on a closer level than most of your friends and relatives (which the exception of your parents and closest friends depending on your on your relationship with them). As stated earlier, he might not understand everything that you might go through but he will surely be empathetic to all of your struggles - as you are with his own.

𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐄 - how important is the relationship to them? what is it’s in it’s comparison to their things in their life?

Your relationship is by far the best thing that has ever happened to him so if something were to happen to it he would certainly be broken up over it, as would you. A lot of your relationship was founded on helping eachother through difficult times going on in both of your lives so the relationship ending would be quite problematic for the both of you. In comparison to other things that are in his life you are most definitely at the very top of that list.

𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐃 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃 - a random fluff head canon.

He refuses to let you tie your own shoes when they come loose. It was a subtle thing you noticed even at the beginning of your friendship. One of your laces would come untied and he’d keep insisting that you tie them so you wouldn’t fall and get hurt - until he eventually would just do it himself. It was a subtle gesture but still enough to make you swoon a bit at the kindness of it.

𝐗𝐎𝐗𝐎 - are they affectionate? do they love to kiss and cuddle?

He is indeed affectionate, as long as you are alone and no other people are around. Having said this I feel like having a significant other who is constantly cuddling him might make him uncomfortable, so someone more low key and less touchy would be his vibe. Bucky has spent a lot of his life alone and in isolation, so it would definitely be something that he would get used to at the beginning of your relationship. This doesn’t mean he wont cuddle at all though, he just may not be into it as much as others.

��𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 - how will they cope when they are missing their partner?

An unfortunate side effect of dating a superhero is that they’ll be away on missions quite often - you and Bucky’s relationship was no stranger to that. I’d imagine that he would attempt to call and text as much as he could, but of course the majority of the time he would be unavailable. To cope with missing you, he would probably end up talking about it to Sam after a lot of coaxing. While it would indeed help some, what actually kept him going was as I said earlier: knowing that you were at home safe and waiting for him to get back.

𝐙𝐄𝐀𝐋 - what lengths are they will to go for the relationship? if so what kind of lengths?

As I have stated numerous times your relationship is what keeps him going everyday, it’s what wakes him up in the morning. You are the single most important person in his life and always will be. He would do anything within his power to ensure your safety (within the parameters of reason of course). But in general he would do about anything for your relationship.

[babyangellee]

The Fear of Losing You (B.B)

Warnings: Torture, Blood, Swearing

Word Count: 1.2K

Summary: You would do anything to protect Bucky Barnes

Terrified was an understatement.

Your wrists were already raw from struggling and your voice cracked from the amount of strain screaming had put on your throat. Dried blood marked your face from where you had been hit, knocking you out, a gag was digging into the corners of your mouth and a blindfold covered your line of vision. 

How had you ended up in this situation? The last thing you remember was being at the tower, cooking mac and cheese, and humming to yourself. The rest of the team had been on a mission but you decided to sit it out given that you were still healing from the last one. Next thing you knew you were waking up with a pounding headache and tied to a chair. 

Before you had time to fully collect your thoughts the blindfold was being ripped off and a man kneeled in front of you. He smiled while reaching up to touch your cheek but you flinched away.

"Feisty" He chuckled in a thick Russian accent. He reached up again, this time aggressively grabbing your face and looking you dead in the eyes. "Let's begin, shall we." he let go of your face. removing the gag, and taking a step back. "Where is the Winter Soldier?" So that's what this is about, they wanted Bucky. You stayed silent, no way were you giving in to this. He repeated himself but you still didn't respond. He gave you a look before placing the gag back and heading towards the door.

"Начало" ("Begin") He nodded your way as you started looking around in confusion. What had he just said? As two men approached you, you tried to break free again, scared of what was going to happen next.  They looked at each other and then back at you. 

"Loyal are we?" He chuckled before grabbing a small knife from his pocket. He stabbed it in your leg as you screamed out in pain. "You'll talk. They always do eventually." 

*********

 Steve was laughing at something Wanda had said as the team made their way into the tower. Bucky made a beeline for your room wanting to see you after they had been M.I.A for the last three days. He missed your laugh and the smell of your coconut shampoo that filled his nose when you two hugged. When he didn't find you, he dismissed it as you were probably somewhere else in the tower. After about 10 minutes of not being able to find you, he circled back to the living room where everyone was sitting.

"Anyone see Y/N?" Bucky couldn't control how fast the words came out, anxiety starting to take over. Everyone looked around and then at each other realizing none of them had seen you yet. "Friday where's Y/N," Tony asked, sitting up straighter and placing his scotch on the table. "I don't think you are going to like this sir." Everyone's face went pale as a video of you being attacked in the kitchen started playing. They watched as you went from smiling and dancing around to falling to the floor and being dragged away. 

"Friday how long ago was that?" Nat asked, putting her weapons back in their holsters. "That was from yesterday afternoon." Another pang hit everyone as they realized you had been with your captor for over twenty-four hours. 

*********

"This will all end if you just tell us where he is." You chuckled as blood dripped from your mouth. "Kiss my ass!" This made your tormentor furious. Before you knew it your head was snapping to the side because of the impact of his fist. You just laughed again as the man in front of you picked up another weapon. 

"Do what you will, but I am never going to tell you where he is. I'd rather die than give him up" More blood dripped from your mouth as you held a straight face. You loved Bucky and you weren't about to give him up to this asshole who wanted to turn him into a brainwashed soldier. "Careful what you say, we can have that arranged." You couldn't hear his chuckle over your own screams as an electric shock was sent through your body. 

 You didn't know how much more of this you could take. You were trying to be strong for Bucky, for the team but there is only so much that you can take and you were getting pretty close to that amount. Just as you started to catch your breath a blade was pushed into your stomach leaving you gasping for air out of shock. 

"He'll come for her whether she's dead or alive." Was the last thing you heard before finally succumbing to the darkness. The men in the room just laughed and talk among themselves waiting for further instruction. 

*********

They wanted to be found. They weren't hiding where they were keeping you, the goal was to get him to come looking for you. Which he did, only he wasn't going to fall for their traps, he was going to save you. 

  Within an hour, the team was on the way to you. Friday had found the location pretty quickly and even though that should have been a red flag, the team didn't care. They needed you back.  

When they arrived, they walked in guns already in the air ready to kill anyone that got in the way, the team split up trying to find you. Bucky passed by a room and heard hushed whispers, it was the only room with a closed-door so he assumed that's where you would be. He walked into the room, finger already on the trigger of his gun. He quickly fired two shots, killing the two guards standing in front of you.

You. There you sat slumped over tied to a chair barely breathing. You had multiple fatal wounds but you were still fighting. "Guys I got her." Bucky said hardly about a whisper into his earpiece. 

"Hey wake up. Come on, wake up!" His voice cracked as the sight of you broke his heart, what on earth did they want to know that you were willing to die to protect?  "Please wake up!" That's when it dawned on him. This was Hydra, they wanted him and you nearly gave your life to make sure that didn't happen. 

The pool of blood was growing bigger every second that Bucky was distracted by his own thoughts until he finally snapped out of it and broke you loose, your body immediately and involuntarily falling into his arms. He picked you up and rushed you to the helicarrier and the team praying that you would be okay. As soon as he placed you down on a cot in the aircraft Sam was performing triage. 

His eyes didn't leave your form as Sam worked. He needed you to be okay, you were his everything. The helicarrier finally landed and you were being wheeled away faster than he could process. 

You were in med bay for three days before all the medication wore off and you finally woke up. Your hand was hidden between two larger ones, one flesh, one metal. 

"Took you long enough to find me." You chuckled as Bucky's head perked up to the sound of your voice.

[kayxleeee]

Bucky Barnes: Anywhere (Bucky x Reader )

Bucky Barnes: Anywhere 

Warning: Kinda sad, but not really. You can handle it lol.  Slight Mental Health nod. Overall just sweet reader caring for Bucky’s wellbeing

A/N: HAPPY FRIDAY !If you are reading this and supporting me I really love you🥺. Loosely edited.

Summary: Like usual, Bucky can’t sleep after a mission. You have a discussion with him about a place Steve told you about. This place has all of the advances that may help Bucky free himself from the emotional prison that is his mind. 

Word Count: 1k+

*NOT MY GIF* Don’t copy my work !

After what felt like the long  night would be internal, it felt incredible to finally wake up laying in a cozy bed. With the covers warm, the birds chirping, and a little bit of the early morning su rays beaming on your face, it felt like a good morning. But even better than that, was knowing the man you loved was laying right beside you, safe and finally at home; Except for the fact that he was not laying in bed beside you. His absents caused you to remember the events of last night, the struggles he had with possibly trying to fall asleep. You let out a heavy sigh feeling the empty space next to you. As excited as you were yesterday to finally be reunited with him, you knew things were complicated for him, and  the night was not as amazing as you hoped. In fact as much as you wanted your homecoming to be perfect everything seemed different, his cries out for help seemed more urgent. 

Only a year and a few months ago did you and Steve find Bucky, which led to the breaking free from the reigns, being a wanted man, and coming to terms with the damages with Hydra’s brainwashing. It was all a lot, and he had still been adjusting, even when you two began to get close. And as much as he’d like you to believe he was okay, you knew he was still adjusting months later. Adjusting to what exactly? You could only assume it was everything, but you mostly knew it was the task of being able to think for himself, being stuck in his own head.

With his thinking, came one track obsessions. Bucky had this overwhelming, and I mean OVERWHELMING, infatuation with taking down hydra and getting justice for what they did to him. You and Steve had many conversations about how unhealthy it had to be for him to constantly be face to face with the people who caused him so much pain. These long missions he’d gone on, probably involved him sitting and waiting to do unimaginable things. This wasn’t the best for him at his fragile state and you all had to remember that; Otherwise you wouldn't be on your toes constantly worried about him and his mental states . 

Prior to waking up to an empty bed, you had spent almost two months without him. Fast forward to last night when he came home, he was extremely tired coming in, but could never fall asleep. It killed you that his first night back in his own home, safe, in his own bed, with you in his arms, was still not as peaceful for him. It was hard to sit with the thoughts of these bounty hunts, only being that, and not being beneficial for him, whatsoever. It had always been hard to get him to open up about the “missions.”, or what he has done or even seen, for that matter. In fact it was damn near impossible, he was so stubborn. His brain was running 24/7, thinking of ways he could feel better about himself, thinking of ways he could redeem himself. And that is what you hated the most, the times where he was stuck in his own head, overthinking, driving himself insane, trying to find a reason to the madness. This hurt you tremendously , because you really hoped it would all eventually be better for him, that this last “mission” would be the problem solver, you prayed it would be, but it just seemed to never get better, there was always another goon who needed to pay him repercussions.

You stretch your arms above your head letting out a sleepy yawn as you throw back the duvet, preparing to find the dark haired man in your cozy Brooklyn apartment. You grab the throw blanket at the end of your bed wrapping it around your shoulders, heading out of the bedroom. Right as you exit out of the door, you see a glimpse of him on the brown couch in your living room. He’s laying on his back staring up at the ceiling. Silence and isolation were never his friends and, all you could do was just hope he was not laying there beating himself up over something that he either had no control of or something he could not change.

“Good morning.” You say softly walking to the end of the couch closest to you, where his feet were. “Missed you in there. Everything alright?” 

He looks over at you and smiles slightly. He looked exhausted, which led you to believe he definitely did not fall asleep.

“Sorry, yeah, everything is okay.” His voice sounded tired and raspy. “I guess it wasn’t a good night.”

He wasn’t always restless, battered, and bruised, and your relationship was not always based on saving him from himself, but it was always hard knowing what you were doing for him wasn’t enough. That the simple kisses you shared on days were he was upset, or on the long nights where you’d rub his back reassuring him that he was so much more than this unspoken pain, weren’t enough.

“Can I do anything to help?” You ask, coming closer to his spot on the couch.

“No,” He pauses for a second reaching out for your hand. “I’d like you to just come cuddle with me though.” He says opening his arms. You smile and walk over to where he was on the couch. 

“I don’t mind keeping you company.” You say with a smile as you climb on top of him, settling in and getting comfortable.

He immediately wraps his arms around you pulling you into a warm embrace. Your head is tucked underneath his chin, his slow breaths matching your own. The two of you have your fingers intertwined as his metal hand rests on the small of your back over the blanket you had brought with you. You lay there in silence, just feeling the rises and falls of each others chest. But then the silence worried you since that meant his mind could possibly be somewhere else.

“Bucky?” 

“Mmh?”

“If you could be anywhere in the world, where would you be?” You ask randomly, wanting to fill the silence with anything.

“Right here.” He says softly rubbing your back. “Right here with you.”

You smile at his sweet words, but just couldn’t believe them, not because he has ever lied to you, but simply because there was always a hunt, there was always a mission, there was always a reason to be anywhere, but at home...

“Out of all the places you could be, just here would be okay?”

He pauses for a minute then nods. “Not just here, anywhere with you is alright with me. I’d always choose that over anything in the whole world.”

“If I asked you to leave with me tonight would you go?” “Yes.”

“Even to get away, —stop doing these hunts…” 

He doesn’t say anything, so you continue.

“To get away from whatever it is that’s hurting you.”

“Yes of course, in a heart beat.” He finally says, kissing the top of your head. 

Silence falls over both of you as you cuddle on the couch in your small apartment. You think for a second remembering a conversation that you had with Steve a few days ago. 

“Then let’s go somewhere, just you and me.” You speak again, testing the theory. “Steve said he knew a safe place, a place called Wakanda.” You begin to play with his fleshed fingers.

“Wakanda?” He repeated back.

“Yes, a place where you can just step away from all the madness of bringing down Hydra, just for a little bit, to get your headspace together.” 

You begin to explain how you hated to see him in these different states every time he came home from a mission and how it’s is all consuming in both of your lives. He nods at your words and sighs.

“Like I said, I’d go anywhere… as long as you’re there too.” He lets out a yawn and you nod in contentment.

Those words now put you at ease. You bring his hand to your mouth giving it a kiss, before saying, “Alright then Buck, it’s time for you to finally get some rest.” You encourage beginning to get up.

“Can we just lay here until I do?” He asked as he realized you were about to leave him, his grip tightened softly around you.

“Of course.” You say settling back into his arms.

“I know it hasn’t been easy, but I am trying, and I am willing to try anything.” He says softly.

Moments later you could hear his soft snores pick up as he finally drifted off to sleep. You hoped it was peaceful as you began drifting off too, imagining what Wakanda was like and how life changing it could possibly be for him.

-

Comments, Questions, Opinions :)

See more of what I have written so far: Masterlist

[fortitudina]

esotericsoldier asked: "Let's go home." ~ Bucky

HOME.

noun the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household or an institution for people needing professional care or supervision.

Bucky felt that he had neither one of those anymore. Before the war, Brooklyn was his home. His parents and his sister were his home. Steve Rogers was his home. Then the war came and from then on, he'd never left it, nor did he have anywhere that he could call home. To his family, James Buchanan Barnes was Killed in Action, and for a long time, he had been dead. HYDRA had claimed him as their own. A puppet, a pet; something they deemed more than welcome to experiment on and torture as they pleased. The endless brainwashing, the times spent in Kryo whenever he began to remember his past before them, the electrocution therapy... if you could call it that, it was more like frying the brain into submission.

Breaking free of them had been both the best and worst thing that could have happened. No longer was he subject to their torment and their orders to kill people who really, did not need eliminating. Unfortunately, he now remembered everything. Steve had helped to piece back together his memories, and Sam had helped too. He'd been on the slow path of redemption and the Wakandans had helped free him of the words that would have once triggered that other side of him to be present, the side that needed him to kill. But with his freedom came his loss. All he'd known for seventy years was HYDRA ~ Siberia. That had become his home, The Winter Soldier's home.

There had been one upside among all of the torture and pain. Assets weren't ever supposed to befriend one another for risk of compromisation, but The Winter Soldier had been a hard-working asset and had been made to take care of some of the others. He'd gotten to know a few in particular, but one had always been more on his watch. Even now, Bucky had never forgotten the wolf that had run with him. Even now, he still watched over him when he was able to. It seemed though, that now the tables were turned.

He'd been unable to sleep in his apartment. The jarring nightmares were still too much to bear and despite his best efforts to sway his therapist to think that they were getting better, he was sure that she was on to him about them. The air had been crisp but dry when he'd opted to go for a wander but that crisp autumn air had soon become picked-up winds and dampness. Then came the rain but Bucky had continued to walk.

Time had eluded his mind when it was so wrapped up in other things, however, it must have been the early morning. The sky was getting lighter with the rising sun and the birds, despite the weather, were beginning to chirp. That was when he'd heard the voice, muffled but familiar. His eyes stared blankly in front of him as the rain ran off his head but the fingers of his metal arm twitched, the vibranium calibrating against the cold of the weather almost like a recognition he was being spoken to. He did not wish to talk, not at first, anyway. The risk of upsetting his friend was too much and that was not something he wanted to do ~ Even if he probably already had through not being at his apartment. " What is home, exactly? "

@esotericsoldier SEND "LETS GO HOME" TO FIND MY MUSE / ACCEPTING

[an-optimist-prime]

When the sun came up you were looking at me

A Sambucky/WinterFalcon ficlet

Summary:  Right now it’s two in the morning, and Bucky is laying on Sam’s couch, and he’s pretty sure that he’s in love with him. - Or, Bucky realises that his one-sided feelings for Sam aren’t so one-sided. Set after TFATWS Season 1.

Word Count: 1350

Rating/Warnings: T, N/A

AO3 Link

*

See, the thing is, Bucky had truly believed that Steve had been it for him.

Not that Steve had ever felt that way back. It had always been one sided, and honestly, Bucky was just fine with that. Honestly. Because even if Steve didn’t love him back, he still loved him, as a friend, and really, what more could he ask for?

Who else would care for him, anyway? Bucky knows he’s not worthy of it, not after everything he’s done. But even then, he’d always thought that he and Steve were best friends. It was something he had taken for a given.

But then Steve went back to the past, and Bucky once again lost everything. Without a word of warning, Steve had left, leaving him behind in a foreign future he’s only now just beginning to understand. No help, no guidance, just a few words uttered between them as he passed the shield onto Sam and that was it.

And if Bucky’s being honest? It hurt. There’s no other word for it. Hydra’s many forms of torture had nothing on the pain Steve’s abrupt departure left him with.

But he’s fine, really. Well, certainly not at the time, or for a long time after. But Steve deserved to be happy, more than anyone else, and Bucky was never going to deny him that. It’s just that he wishes, sometimes, that he had been enough to make Steve stay. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel so lost all the time. Like he doesn’t fit.

No, that’s not correct. Not anymore. He had wished, past tense.

Because today was different. After today, he actually feels like he might be okay.

The cookout had been nothing short of fantastic. To be there, in public, surrounded by people who were neither fearful nor furious at his presence. People who weren’t trying to control or manipulate him. He’d even been comfortable enough to have his left arm on display, and received nothing but curious looks from some of the adults and adoration from all of the kids. It was all so easy, and all so good, that it makes Bucky think that there might be a home for him at the end of the road, after all.

Maybe.

The only strange thing about the whole night was the fact that Sam spent a fair amount of his time just staring at him, when he thought Bucky wasn’t looking.

And therein lies the problem. Because for so long, Bucky has been lost and alone. He’s been haunted and hunted. Never safe and never free.

And then Sam Wilson came into his life, and that really threw a spanner in the works. Because right now it’s two in the morning, and Bucky is laying on Sam’s couch, and he’s pretty sure that he’s in love with him.

And, he’ll be honest, Bucky didn’t even like him at first. Hell, the first time he met, he’d tried to kill Sam. And yes, he was brainwashed at the time, and yes, that wasn’t his fault, but still. The guilt lingers, and the point remains. They didn’t get along.

Well, until they did. At some point on their mission, something had shifted, and now, they were at the very least friends.

In hindsight though, Bucky supposed it probably shouldn’t have been a shock. There’s been something building between them for a while now. Something that had started rough and tense in the beginning, but had transformed into something far more gentle and familiar.

No, Bucky’s not pretty sure he’s in love with Sam Wilson. He’s one hundred percent goddamned certain he’s in love with him.

And really, how could he not love Sam? He’s a blessing - kind and loyal and brave and so many other things. He’s the only person worthy of holding that shield other than Steve.

And at that thought, Bucky can’t help but laugh a little under his breath. Even he can see the humour in the fact that he’s fallen for Captain America twice. Because honestly? That’s what’s happened here. There’s no point denying it. Bucky even knows the moment it happened.

He distinctly remembers looking up when Sam had just saved the armoured truck with the hostages, looking downright angelic with the wings, and just knowing, oh, this again.

He’ll keep a better lid on it this time, he swears. Sam is his friend, possibly his only true friend at the moment. It’s just that, much like Steve, Sam’s shown no inclination that he feels anything more than that. Which is fine. Truly. Bucky refuses to ruin the one good thing he has going for him at the moment.

So, he lays on Sam’s couch at two in the morning, staring at the ceiling, and wondering how long he’ll get to have this before it’s taken away from him too. He knows he shouldn’t think like that, but old habits die hard.

Bucky’s only stirred from his thoughts when the object of them speaks.

“Can’t sleep?” Sam asks quietly, catching Bucky by surprise. How long has he been there, just standing in the doorway?

Bucky immediately sits up so there’s room on the couch for Sam as well. Sam takes the spot next to him, and Bucky instinctively moves closer to him. He’s always pulled into his orbit.

In the moonlight of the room, Sam looks absolutely gorgeous, and it steals his breath a bit.

“Yeah,” Bucky eventually manages to say. “Just thinking about some stuff. You?”

“Yeah, something like that,” Sam admits. “You got something on your mind?”

It’s asked with gentle concern. Sam knows when to push and when to ease up on something, and Bucky is always grateful for it. Just another reason he loves him.

“Nothing bad,” Bucky replies, trying to distract himself from the fact that he wants to lean across and kiss him. “The opposite, actually.”

“Well, that must be a nice change. Do you want to talk about it?”

There’s something about Sam that makes Bucky want to confess everything, to tell him just how he feels. But not yet. “Maybe someday.”

Sam stares at him for a moment, as if searching for something. “I find that honesty is always a good policy.”

It takes Bucky a moment to find the words. “I wouldn’t want to overstay my welcome.”

“Bucky, you’re all always welcome here. I need you to know that,” After a moment, Sam continues. “Do you really need to go back to New York?”

“No.” Bucky replies, honestly. Because really, his only mission at the moment is to stay as close to Sam as he wants him to be.

Sam’s next words are barely more than a whisper. “Then stay.”

And that’s when it hits Bucky - that maybe, just maybe, it’s not all one-sided this time. And huh, that’s a revelation.

It all clicks into place - the not so casual touches, the intense stares, the lingering moments. It steals his breath away, because he never thought he’d have this.

“Oh.” Bucky says, completely floored.

“Yeah, oh,” Sam sasses back, but he’s smiling. “I was wondering when you’d get it.”

Everything that had been simmering under his skin suddenly surges to the surface. He’s not sure which one of them moves first, crossing the distance between them.

It’s a tender, tentative thing, their first kiss. More like a brush of lips. And yet it’s everything, like home and the promise of more, not far down the line.

After a moment they break apart, breathless. Bucky leans against Sam, their foreheads touching. It’s almost a miracle, how, after everything they’ve both been through, they’ve managed to find each other, been able to find this, here and now.

It’s so much, it might be too much. To have something like this, something perfect, after so long, it’s overwhelming. But Sam is there, gently tracing soothing patterns into the skin of his arm, grounding him. God, he really is perfect, and he’s his.

“Stay.” Sam repeats, his voice barely more than a whisper, and Bucky nods.

He’d do whatever Sam asked of him, honestly. Because finally, in this moment, with Sam Wilson, Bucky feels like he’s home.

*

Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving a like/kudos or comment, either here or on the Archive (Fic Link). Positive feedback is what keeps me going! I’m always up to talk Sambucky, the MCU, and fandom in general, so please feel free to come chat with me, here on tumblr or on my twitter. Thanks again  ❤️

[deviiancetv]

Cinema Starview Presents: The Patriotic Duo

Ya know, I had The Falcon and The Winter Soldier pegged so wrong... I thought I was going to not like it as much as I liked Wandavision, but the story and character development of The Avengers two side heroes getting more development was a wonderful way of executing the dynamic and the real world implications each of these characters have.

I didn’t know how much I’d grow to like the show these past six weeks it’s been released, but it was very enjoyable and inspiring to my own creative hero story. Let’s begin the analysis/review shall we...

Karli and The Flag Smashers:

The Flag Smashers are a group of Super Beings that have Super Soldier Serum running through them. Their ideas are very anarchist based, wanting the world to be seen as one with no borders or leaders. Honestly, that’s something I can see happening in our real world especially with the corrupt that run our government and the United Nations. Sadly though, like most anarchists, her ideals went beyond the extremes and this ended in her own demise...

Isaiah & Elijah Bradley / The Black Super Soldier & The Patriot:

Isaiah being one of Bucky’s old war pal’s while also being tested on as a Super Soldier had a tragic backstory. He was imprisoned for 30 years for his powers. Something so common in our society is the wrongful imprisoning of black people in America, especially the scene where Sam was being interrogated by the police outside of his house. The biggest news we got out of this scene is that Isaiah’s grandson Eli Bradley is going to be Patriot in the Young Avengers team that’s slowly being built!! His backstory was so tragic, and yet very understandable on his opinions of how he views America. I honestly love that he got a statue in his honor, he truly deserves it after all he went through and more. ELIJAH YOU BETTER GET READY CAUSE YOU’RE NEXT HOMIE!!!

Sam Wilson / Captain America:

Sam has struggles with his identity of not wanting to take on the mantle of Captain America, and I can understand why. It’s a big title, he’d have to work with the government and not be a “free hero”, and the opinions of the people would be divisive since he’d be the first black Captain America. Him and his sister have a strained relationship ever since he came back and trying to help her run a business in good ole’ Louisiana. But I loved his development, helping his sister with the business and being Uncle Sam to his nephews, now he’s the Uncle Sam America needs to help lead!!! Also, Wakanda has fantastic suit tailoring and customizing. His new suit looks so good on him and the wings make him the literal American Eagle lol, can’t wait for the now confirmed Captain America 4!!!!

Bucky Barnes / The Winter Soldier:

Bucky having to go to counseling due to his PTSD and Hydra brainwashing is a good topic to focus on mental health and those that struggle with it after being in the military and fighting in wars. Bucky hasn’t gotten a break since he came back and only had a small amount of peace when he was in Wakanda (where he got the title White Wolf). It’s interesting to see his journey of paying his dues and respects to those he’s hurt and or harmed. Also, his relationship with Ayo from the Dora Milaje is something I want to see be explored more 😏. I’m just glad he was able to complete the list and told the truth of what happened to that old man’s son.

John Walker / US Agent:

John really reminds me of an imitation Steve and in some cases he literally looks like an action figure. He’s got so much weight on his shoulders by trying to be the new Captain America that he slowly begins to morph into a jerky type of character. Kinda like a Chad, if a Chad was a soldier. And his right hand man / Battlestar have a cool relationship and they work so well together, but they definitely need work when fighting superbeings. The portrayal of the way he brutally murdered a foreigner being caught on camera was gut wrenching... His slow decline to a villain was very apparent and honestly i’m not surprised by the fact that fans are attacking the actor that plays him (cause that’s what ignorant people do). But honestly in the true words of what another reviewer said “Steve Rogers is the version of America we want to be, but John Walker is the America we are.” I definitely think Val is inducting him to be apart of either The Thunderbolts along with Zemo... or maybe the Dark Avengers, we’ll just have to wait and see.

Sharon Carter / The Power Broker:

Honestly I know it was a known fan theory, but I didn’t want to believe it because most fan theories in this fandom has you hype for something that doesn’t happen (i.e. Wandavision fan theories) but Sharon being the Power Broker wasn’t a bad revelation, I just was slightly confused by the idea of it and the power she now has working for both sides... The Carter’s have very interesting relations with the government so it’ll be fun to know what happens with Sharon in the future now that she’s free to be back in America and is the Power Broker in Madripor. Unless she’s a Skrull or something hahahahaa 👀

Overall, I loved this series and the adventure void it filled my heart with. I hope there’s a season 2 after the Captain America 4 movie, but who knows... they definitely have stuff to explore especially with Eli who is gonna become Patriot for the Young Avengers. P.S. I WANT MORE TORRES AND BAITING OF SAMBUCKY

SCORE: 9/10 ⭐️

[agentxthirteen]

SAM WILSON aka The Falcon is a former U.S. Air Force pararescue jumper turned Avenger who was Steve Rogers’ right hand man. When Sam finds himself tangled in an international conflict that is more personal than he could have ever imagined, his only shot at overcoming this trial will be to team up with his least favorite 106-year-old: Bucky Barnes. Anthony Mackie, who returns as Sam/Falcon, welcomed the opportunity to dive deeper into the character. “I feel like with this series, we've been able to show you why Sam and Bucky are who they are and why they believe in what they believe,” he says. “You get to meet and get to know them as three-dimensional characters. You get to see them as people. It's funny because usually in a movie forum, you only have two hours to tell the beginning, middle and ending of a story. But we have six episodes to tell the entire scope of where these characters have been, how they feel about the world they're in, and where they're going once this series is over.”Upon returning from the Blip, Sam joins his sister Sarah in Louisiana in an effort to help save the family business. It’s complicated and he struggles. “Sam became a hero because of where he’s from—he saw that the world was not fair,” explains head writer Malcolm Spellman. “He ran off to save the world by joining the military. But he’s always worried if joining the military was really about running away from problems at home—they seemed so insurmountable, it'd be easier to save the world.”But it’s not the only thing on his mind. The future of the shield and the role Sam plays is not as clear as Steve Rogers anticipated. Says Spellman, “He truly believes that there’s an argument to be made that red, white and blue—stars and stripes—inherently represents oppression.”Adds Mackie, “Sam considers the shield a representation of the country that we live in. There's a lot of trepidation as far as how does a Black man represent a country that does not represent him?”

BUCKY BARNES was Steve Rogers’ best friend and a WWII veteran who was brainwashed by Hydra to become the Winter Soldier—a deadly and ruthless assassin who would stop at nothing to achieve his assigned mission. As revealed in the post-credit sequence of “Black Panther,” Bucky’s mind was healed by the Wakandans, and he later joins the Avengers to heroically battle and ultimately defeat Thanos. But now that Bucky has been thrust back into the real world, he must figure out how to become James Barnes again—all while facing the demons from his past. Sebastian Stan portrays the eternally troubled Bucky/Winter Soldier. “He is trying to embrace his new life—but he’s pretty lost and having an identity crisis again,” says Stan. “He's doing his best, finding his own path after Steve, after all those events. It feels like this is the first time he's finally free, so to speak, to look after himself. But it's not easy. “How does this character now function in the world?” continues Stan. “What's his life going back to Brooklyn? How is he meeting people? How is he interacting at coffee 5shops? Is he dating? Is he thinking about another career? Is he in therapy? There were all these questions about where we could take this character. There were a lot of fun and exciting things that came out of that exploration.”Co-executive producer Zoie Nagelhout adds that for the first time, Bucky is making a concerted effort to take charge of his life—and that includes making some difficult amends. “He is working to unburden himself from the trauma of being the Winter Soldier,” she says. “He believes that will get him closer to knowing what he wants.”Stan asserts, however, that Bucky’s past is there to stay. “Look, there's always going to be a darker side of this character, which I’ve always loved—it’s what makes him more interesting and complex,” he says. “I feel like that doesn’t go away. It's still there deep down. He's just learning how to deal with it a little bit better.”

JOHN WALKER is one of the highest-ranking soldiers in the U.S. military. He is patriotic, strong, good-intentioned, and every bit of him will be put to the test as he tries to team up with Sam and Bucky to protect the world from a new threat. Wyatt Russell was called on to portray the dedicated soldier. “We thought Wyatt was an interesting choice because a lot of his work before had him playing the slacker with long hair and a beard,” says executive producer Nate Moore. “But we found this unique energyin him that neither Sam Wilson nor Bucky Barnes has, and we felt that was important so that John Walker stood apart from these two characters.”But, says Russell, Walker’s journey is not without complication. “I gravitate towards characters who need to make difficult decisions,” he says. “His dichotomies are what attracted me to him, and I’ve been allowed the leeway to shape him a little because we’ve never met this character before.”

SHARON CARTER, a former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who went on the run after breaking the Sokovia Accords, knows that if she stepped foot in the United States, she’d be arrested. But life underground has taken its toll on Sharon, who’s become somewhat jaded while fending for herself since the events of “Captain America: Civil War.” But heroism runs in her blood, and she finds herself tangled in Sam and Bucky’s global fight.Emily VanCamp, who returns to the MCU as Sharon Carter, says the character has changed since we last saw her. “Listen, when we find Sharon, she’s in a pretty dark place,” says VanCamp. “When we first see her, there’s a little bit of anger. She’s tougher, a little raw and rough around the edges—a totally different version of Sharon than what we’ve seen in the films. That’s really interesting to explore.”Adds Nagelhout, “We never really heard from Sharon after she put herself out there for Cap, Sam and Bucky, so we felt it was important to tell her story—to see what’s she’s been going through after throwing her career away to do what she felt was right. She’s that kind of person.”

ZEMO, the Sokovian special forces officer who targeted the Avengers after he lost his family in the battle of Sokovia, has been rotting in a German prison since we last saw him in “Captain America: Civil War.” But Zemo isabout to be reignited with a new ferocity. “I kind of fell in love with Zemo,” says director Kari Skogland. “He’s a man who’s struggling with this desire for revenge. But his story is a slippery slope of trying to make something right, but going about it all wrong. So, when we meet him, he’s paying for his crimes. He’s lost everything. He’s in a very sad place. I couldn’t help but feel a certain amount of sympathy for him.” DanielBrühl, whoreturns as Zemo, feels similarly about the character. “In ‘Civil War,’ I was fascinated by the fact that Zemo is a multi-layered villain,” he says. “He’s not just a sinister bad guy. But there was not that much time to explore different facets of him, so it was great to be given the opportunity to revisit this character.”