#that I was told was irritation
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Oh my god… can’t remember the last time I jacked off
#I���m so deadass serious it’s like I forgot I could or something#but. I dreamt abt it last night#cuz I’ve been kinda h*rny lately#AND ITS SPRING BREAK AND IM GOING HOME SO I CAN#WAHOOOO#oh wait#actually I know why I haven’t#bc I had a yeast infection for like two months#that I was told was irritation#LMFAOOOOOUDAKFHNDNSJFJFKFJ ok well that explains#but still weird how I just. completely forgot abt it#anyway#back to WAHOOOOOOOOOOOO#caitie blabs#sx talk
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#why no one told me that trying to get in the “grown up life” is so stressful when you have zero experience in a real work#All the skills you have are not enough#At the same time you didn't have rest at all after graduating because of the outside pressure#And I feel like I became deadly annoying#Let me complain a little bit I swear to god this is like 2 time after college when I want to complain at something I'm not that strong#What do you mean there is no sign “We want YOU as our worker!” ahagsha funny#I have to learn about 2 new programms on a basic level at least#Learn new things on Toon Boom#Prepare different portfolios when turns out I barely have something I can show#I was thinking too little and now I barely can think and I start being irritated at myself yet can do nothing since my brain rebels#Okayyy just 2 more months to see if something will turns out good out of what I will be doing
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"He knows I'm not the possessive type. I'm totally cool with him having other friends." Girl twenty issues earlier you stole your mom's scrubs to sneak into a hospital and spy on your boyfriend's female friend after he repeatedly told you they were just friends. ARE you cool with it
from Robin (1993) #101
#approximately twenty issues later she will see her boyfriend being kissed by another girl and immediately ghost him and take his old job.#no questions asked#in this issue alone she gets irritated because (wait for it) tim appears to be making friends with his elevator boy#there were plenty of moments in steph's characterization that were....shall we say....male-writer coded#but for real though i have such a soft spot in my heart for steph's jealous streak (and her repeated denial of it)#she's so clearly spent so much of her life without feeling especially loved by anyone in particular. and now she has tim#who tends to be much more secure in his relationships and genuinely DOES think steph is perfectly fine with him having other friends#(BECAUSE SHE HAS TOLD HIM SO AND HE TAKES HER AT HER WORD)#but she's plagued by the fear that she'll lose him. and that fear scares her too#another instance of steph not really *getting* tim's boundaries honestly#altogether genuinely one of the most teenaged girl things ever#she's imperfect and i love her for it with all my heart#i support women's wrongs.#stephanie brown#spoiler#oli reads comics
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how long did it take Stan to learn all he could?
I mean, for thirty years he only had one journal, so I wonder how much time he spent actively fixing the portal and for how much time he was simply... searching
when he finally had all three journals things moved along pretty quickly, so I believe he knew everything he could with the limited information he had, and grasped the rest of the instructions easily
imagine how frustrating it must've been, after teaching himself science he never thought he could comprehend, cracking Ford's codes, and at some point all of that just wasn't enough
he learned so much but couldn't figure it out the rest by himself, and it was worse than when he was clueless because now that things make sense, he knows exactly what he can't do, what would be too risky – understands enough to know what's broken but not enough to know how to fix it
all that's left to do is find the other journals and I think that's how he spent the better part of those years
I wonder what went through his mind when he realized Dipper had one of them all summer
#Gravity Falls#Stanley Pines#Grunkle Stan#seriously he is so smart#it annoys me when people seem to think it took him all of that time to figure out how the portal worked#like no he was just unlucky#that poor man he deserves so many hugs#when Dipper told him he found it inside a tree he probably got so irritated#he cursed Ford so bad like damn there are so many trees lol#also forgive me if the english is weird I tried my best
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Tastes of Whumptober: Day 11
I had an absolute blast with this prompt and I've been looking forward to it for a while. I should've gone and bought some wine so I could write being IDed from experience though. Unrealistic writing 😮😮😮
Convenience Store
Each item was set neatly on the conveyor belt.
A roll of duct tape. Kleenex. Air freshener. Trash bags. Zipties. Rubbing alcohol. Superglue. A bottle of merlot. Disinfectant. Sponges. Latex gloves. A wrist brace. Ibuprofen. A hammer. And a bar of chocolate.
A bright beep sounded as the cashier scanned each one.
“Doing some home improvement?” They smiled, placing the superglue onto the other side of the conveyor where one of their customers, the shorter of the two, was busy bagging with their head down. The other stacked the empty shopping basket with the others and pulled out their wallet.
“Definitely an improvement project,” they nodded back with a knowing look. “The whole thing just needs to be demolished and rebuilt at this point.”
“Oh I hear you. A pipe burst in my basement just last month and my spouse had to stop me from tearing the whole thing down then and there.” The cashier scanned the wine and paused. “Your ID please, Mx.?”
They flashed it with a toothy grin.
“I’m flattered!”
“Just doing my job. Thank you.” They typed something into the system and picked up the next item. A few items later, a snort broke their calm demeanor.
“Hm?”
“Oh my goodness, I’m sorry Mx! Just had a funny thought.” The cashier scanned the hammer.
“Do share! Lord knows we could use the humor.” They elbowed their partner who smiled meekly and nodded along, balancing with a crutch under their arm.
“Well, sometimes home improvement supplies look a lot like premeditated murder supplies,” they giggled, and the taller one broke out into raucous laughter. The shorter just shook their head. “Sorry, I meant no offense.”
Realizing they were being addressed, they fixed the sullen expression across their face.
“Ah, none taken! I’ve just had a tough day, what with this shithead and all.” A playful poke to their partner who just laughed again.
“You’re in for it when we get home!” They stuck out their tongue.
The other went back to catch the items they’d missed in that time, slipping the chocolate bar in their pocket.
“Alright, cash or card?”
“Card please.”
“Your receipt?”
“Sure, why not.”
“Perfect. Have a good one!”
“You too!”
The taller one took most of the bags, but the other still managed to carry one. They were almost out the door when a voice shouted out.
“Oh! Excuse me, I think you forgot one of your items!” The cashier held up the hammer, and the couple turned around. Neither came forward to claim it, but with a nudge and a whisper, the shorter allowed the cashier to drop it into their bag. “Can’t do any demolition without that, can you?”
“Absolutely not, I’m glad we didn’t forget it!” The other didn’t say a word, struggling to lift the bag now, and then the two were gone.
.
“Interesting what you choose to forget, darling.” A hissing whisper in their ear, so different from the friendly persona they put on in public.
“I don’t… I don’t know what you’re implying,” they averted their eyes as the trunk of the car opened. Fuck.
Their captor’s foot landed on their broken ankle and they had to suppress a scream.
“I let you have one good leg for today. Don’t let me regret it.” The bag was taken right out of their hand. “In.”
They crutched up to the passenger door but a clearing of the throat stopped them.
“Childlock doesn’t work on that seat.”
Somehow, climbing into the back was more humiliating after that comment. The door was slammed shut before they could do so themself, and they felt the car shake with how hard the trunk was slammed. A horrible indicator of what was to come.
“I behaved around the store,” they grumbled when the doors locked and the engine turned on.
“And then you fuckin’ ruined it.”
“Black and white thinking much…”
A fist flew against the passenger headrest and they were suddenly grateful to be flinching in the backseat.
“I’m buying a car with blacked out windows. That way, next time, I can throttle you in the backseat.”
#whumptober2024#no.11#convenience store#original#writing#fic#public whump#threats#broken bones#irritating wounds#choking mention#whumptober#my writing#whump#snippet#tastes of whumptober#this required so few tags omg who am i#anyway AHAHAHAHAAAAA I HAD SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS phone stop playing a sad song i don't wanna be sad#okay skipped it lol. anyway!#go listen to the band Creeper right now that's a threat they're so good i got to see them in concert a week or two ago and WOWOWOWOWOW#the whole album sanguivore is perfection the best thing that has ever touched my ears the cd is in my car i love#okay okay okay right whump. i mean what can i say. i fucking love playing with dialogue and twisting words and i just :DDDDDDD#'you're in for it :3!' what a fun playful thing to say! this has no cruel implications!#and don't worry they won't get away with snatching that chocolate bar i promise ;) or calling them a shithead ;)#but i'd be lying if i told you the whumpee wasn't fucking THRILLED to be presented that opportunity on a golden platter#two can play at that game!!
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tumblr you show me a weight loss ad I instantly report it as ‘offensive or inappropriate’. get that shit out of my face
#if I wanted to be told to lose 45lbs I’d go to literally whatever random website#it is actually offensive and inappropriate fuck offff. where are the weird little ads#desperately need to sleep but irritation wins out#skravler
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Portrait of Madame X (but now Himeko Murata)
#i could never forget the mole#i took an art class once and it was horrible#the teacher kept telling me good job and i was actually begging for help#but youre doing so well already NO!!! NOOOO!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!! HELP!!!! ME!!!! HELP ME!!!!#as you can probably tell from my blog im not very good with colors#let me tell you something else. not only do i struggle with color. im actually afraid. too afraid to try#dawg that teacher...i told her all this and i was like please. just guide me. tell me something. tell me something to practice.#like how do i get used to it? how do i try?#bro said youre good enough already.#so i got irritated and gave up trying to learn in that class#anyways.#himeko murata#himeko#honkai impact 3rd#honkai star rail#it could be either woman#himeko guns girl z#himeko houkai gakuen 2#could be any of the three actually#ive never played flyme2themoon or zombiegal kawaii. i should try to find them and play#i stopped playing hg2 recently bc my [insert language] is so bad it turns out i misunderstood the story so i rage quit#ill be back tho.mama didnt raise no QUITTER
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my dad was on his best behavior tonight. i met him and his new wife. he has a white beard now and looks like every grizzled fisherman in an old sea myth. it was awkward but my siblings carried the conversation (as i was typing that sentence, my sister called to debrief and said "yeah, that was my goal, just to keep talking.") my dad's new wife repeatedly hassled both of my siblings about settling down and having kids, but left me alone, presumably because i'm Butch Dyke. my brother mentioned doing volunteer work with foreign students at college and she went, "oh, are they illegals?" which was the only really nasty reminder of Who These People Are. then when my brother said he'd been talking to a friend, she went, "oh, a giiiiirl?" and he got the meanest look on his face and flatly went, "no. they're nonbinary." truly taking one for the team in terms of being the most problematic one at the dinner table.
dad told several stories about when i was in elementary school, since that's the last time i was his daughter. he reminded me that a lot of who i am now comes directly from him in ways that aren't Always bad. he was the one who told me to beat the shit out of anyone who harassed me or my friends. he was the one who taught me how to fight. he was the one who impressed upon me that i'm ruthless before i'm ever a woman, however much he may regret that now.
i put on my best high-pitched all-american cheerleader appeasement voice for all of dinner, and his wife said, "oh, you sound just like your mother! your voice.... it's so strange" thank you ma'am. it's because my mother and i both know how to win.
#racism#just in case#i'm seeing him One more time before i go. for my sister's birthday dinner#but like i said. my sister is VERY skilled at keeping a conversation going. god fucking bless her.#this is actually a pretty positive post. i wanted him to behave and he did. i wanted his wife to behave and she did. mostly.#my siblings are both irritated about the grandkids thing -- my sister especially#because she lives independently and has a fabulous career and is killing it in life#and she'll never be good enough for them as long as she doesn't have a husband and child.#i got that lecture over a decade ago when i told dad i'm a lesbian. so it doesn't sting me anymore.
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No hate like christian love is right.
One of the most upsetting sermons I've ever been to was when I was around 10 or 12. We had a guest pastor and he was preaching about love, and how much we should love god. In fact, we should love sky daddy so much, that we should literally HATE our family/friends/loved ones in comparison.
I can't even really tell you why it was so upsetting to me. Most people I tell don't think it's that serious and I just end up looking stupid for being upset. I don't think they realize how serious that guy was. But I was a child thinking about having to hate my family, my friends, the people I cared about in order to be a good xtian... and I knew I couldn't do it.
I think it was supposed to be framed as "we xtians have such a higher capacity for love than the evil heathens which means that we can love our neighbors more than them AND love god so much that it seems like we hate them in comparison but we actually don't, because our capacity for love is so much greater because of Jesus" and I was too young to "pick up on that nuance" or something.
But my capacity for love only got stronger when I left.
#i dont wanna hear 'you shouldn't have taken it so literally' I WAS A CHILD. AN ADULT I AND THE COMMUNITY TRUSTED WAS TELLING ME HOW TO LIVE#I'm so fucking sick of being directly and indirectly blamed for things ADULTS TOLD ME#i don't understand how it's my fault for trusting the adults i was told i could and needed to trust. like give me a break#sorry i interpreted things literally and was brainwashed as a child#I'm so irritated that people don't understand. and that my childhood self gets blamed every fucking time#personal
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sena 🤝 yujiro
older siblings (who see themselves as unreliable) who look out for and love their (relatively aloof) younger siblings unconditionally
#finally relistened to shortleg song off the clock and finally realised why i thought the vibe of the song felt so familiar lmao#it’s just watashi no tenshi with extra steps (pun not intended) isn’t it#imagine what the someya bros’ relationship could’ve been like if longleg hadn’t pitted them against each other in kabuki man.#this is all your fault longleg you need parenting classes :(#i’ll be waiting for the someya bros duet hw—#though come to think of it i wonder how mona and shortleg would interact in canon#lock yujiro and sena together in a room and they’ll probably talk about work and stuff all professionally.#lock mona and koichiro in a room together and they’ll stay in there trash talking yujiro for hours… maybe#now i wanna see shortleg become mona’s partner in yujiro-related crimes lmaoooo what if he ‘stole’ *that* cd from yujiro upon her request#or maybe they’ll be honest with each other about their feelings for their older sibs#like a ‘my older bro/sis is sooooo irritating… but i love ‘em and support their careers anyway’ kinda thing#now i wonder what shortleg would’ve been like in honeypre (rip) i want him to talk to ken too…#man. this sure was a pointless post. i think i need more sleep. gnnnnnn (it’s 7.30 in the am)#染BODY ONCE TOLD ME—
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really wish my one friend would quit flirting with me. and trying to goad me into hanging out more. and assigning us fictional characters that are oh-so-coincidently either couples or with romantic tension. and then interrupting our gameplay to ask me repeatedly if I think they’re “like us” (which they rarely are…). and matching my icon on discord without asking (again, usually by insinuating a couple connection). and giving me random things I do not want and did not ask to receive (and then forcing me to take them???).
#storyrambles#it’s not creepy. just for context. it’s just irritating because I’ve told this person repeatedly that I’m not interested in romance.#this person is also naturally a huge romantic so it is next to impossible to tell whether it’s actual flirtation or just flirting for fun#flirting for fun is cool. I wouldn’t mind that. but if I do it once this person will take that as an invitation to do it an excessive amoun#but yeah after being given 12 roses out of the blue when I said ‘no don’t buy me flowers’. there’s only so many things that can mean#‘it’s nice to see your face you always cover it!’ …I’m masking. because of covid#I’m narrating a game and suddenly ‘I like hearing your voice I should call you every day so I can hear it for 10 minutes’. …no.#‘you have to take the snack I brought you know it’s rude to refuse a gift’ I have never refused a gift. It is rude. But also I didn’t ask.#‘you know this game is one you can play without talking so we can play more often!’ we already play games once a week for usually 3 hours.#‘but it’s not talking so it’s less social energy’ no. that is not how it works.#sorry for the rant im just. tired.#you know those people who are so pleasant to hang out with and then they try way too hard#and that’s actually what makes things awkward? rather than when they’re just being themselves?#yeah. that’s this friend here.#usually I go along with the bit but when I can never tell when the bit is actually a bit#and you insist on me taking on the ‘girl role’ for most of them#I am not going to play along.#UGH don’t get me started on the ‘you’re cute when you’re flustered’#I wasn’t even flustered. I was trying to do mental math while running on four hours of sleep and he was staring directly at me#it’s uncomfortable.#also. I never want to hear that again. fuck. ‘you’re cute when you’re angry’ ‘you’re cute when you’re upset’ ALL THE FUCKING TIME AS A KID#will I be so cute after I kick you in the nuts? will I?#(for clarity I don’t want to kick him. I want to kick those other people.)#I need a lot of alone time. I really do. I can do 3 hours and then I will be drained for the rest of the day.#‘how did you grow up? did you not talk to your mom for more than 3 hours a day?’#first of all. that’s different?#secondly we actually regularly do separate things without talking to each other. or go in separate rooms to take some time to ourselves#also I don’t have to be on high alert for if I’m going to be flirted with. so.#ugh. I like him as a friend. I really do. I know this all makes it seem like the opposite. I try so hard to be as nice as possible.#but UGHHHHHH
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Glad New Vegas is now seen more as a queer thing in general and not specifically transfem *only* like it used to be because while it's silly and cute on the surface it was really tiring being misgendered constantly by otherwise well meaning people just because I like the game
#the amount of ppl being like 'suuuure' when i said i was a man. like hey im a trans guy thats kinda transphobic#to imply im actually 'secretly a woman' just bc of fallout#also being told to detransition as a 'joke' was very very irritating#anyways#vinny rambles#fallout new vegas
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#can I just. scream for a second#so as is news to no one#we need to start over the entire us medical system from scratch#also I would like to be flayed alive and start over from scratch in the skin department as well#anyway for context: I've had some kind of rash/acne/infection/irritation all over my legs for over a year now#have tried various products and changed habits and products to try and get rid of it to no avail#everyone said you should really just go to a dermatologist#(I was not that inclined to do so bc the previous and only time I'd seen a dermatologist it was not a good experience. very condescending#also I don't like making appointments and stuff. girl I don't have time)#but I decided to be an adult and go (my insurance info seemed to imply I could go with zero copay even)#spoilers: that was not the case#anyway so I show up and surprise surprise: it sucked#she was dismissive and condescending imo. was literally like 'well it could be A B or C but I can't tell'#'all of those are basically impossible to get rid of anyway but the things to try are X Y or Z'#I asked to try Z since X and Y are things that I already tried and did nothing (which I had told her!!!)#but she just kept being like 'you just need to stop picking at it. that's the real problem and that's what's exacerbating your scarring'#(wow thanks never thought of that!) (she also insinuated that my scarring was ugly)#girl I'm not 5 years old I understand.#unfortunately for me that is a compulsion so strong it would probably take years of directed therapy to get me to stop doing that#what I'm here to see you about is to figure out what the problem is and how to stop it from happening in the first place#and STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT A COSMETIC ISSUE#it's causing me pain and discomfort that's the main problem! I would like that to stop!! and me not touching it would not solve that proble#also I wanted to ask her about something else but they were too quick about it. felt very Handled if you know what I mean#but anyway#she gave me a prescription for topical antibiotic which was the thing I had not tried#apparently my insurance doesn't cover it and it's also made of gold and plutonium or something#so she gave me a coupon for it#but get this#when I went to pick it up at the pharmacy they didn't take the coupon#the guy said. 'um this only works for the generic brand. and we don't have the generic brand'
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idk i feel like if the only thing you can think to get someone you love for christmas is an acne treatment kit, then maybe its best to just. hold off
#i almost find that more insulting than the pink headbands and girly jewelry#at least they know what theyre doing. they put a little bit of thought into it#when the only thing you seem to know sbout someone is a physical flaw that you think needs to be fixed.....#well.#especially when ive told them a million times that its hormonal and that no face wash or solution will ever make a real difference#it just gets irritating after a while#having to pretend like im grateful
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Okay, but no. I’m sorry. My mom tried so hard to find me a different fantasy book series to redirect my somewhat worrying Redwall obsession, and she couldn’t. It’s not that the Redwall books are inimitable, they’re actually very imitable. But it is that Brian Jacques wasn’t setting out to write fantasy, he was setting out to write a story that kids would enjoy and that he would enjoy telling to them. I wasn’t reading 350-page novels in one sitting because I loved fantasy, I was reading them because I loved Redwall. Obviously I can’t speak for every kid, but I didn’t branch out by being handed more books in the same genre, I branched out by being given books that were written with the same genuinity.
#actually it’s a lie to say I ‘branched out’ I just read whatever I could get my grubby little hands on#but I did get irritated by well-meaning elders who went ‘Oh! You like stories with talking animals!’#or ‘Oh! You like fantasy!’#when those were just /incidentals/#what I /liked/ were stories with tension and description and excitement and humor and riddles and songs and joy and grief#I /liked/ stories where the good guys were good and the bad guys were bad and you could tell who was who#I /liked/ stories that told me it was okay to be angry and confused and hurt and scared and sad but I had to do the right thing anyway#I /liked/ stories that used big words and let me figure out what they meant instead of just telling me#It’s not that you can’t recommend books that are like Redwall.#It’s that people get confused about what makes something /like/ Redwall.#Ranger’s Apprentice had a lot more in common with Redwall than The Mistmantle Chronicles.
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im happy my post is garnering discussion but honestly i wasnt around for 2018-2021 fandom on tumblr and i was mainly talking about how its kind of silly to get mad at people for portraying colonizer countries as mean, or calling it demonization and stuff. like its okay not to like personally portraying ur fav characters as mean or part of the state, but getting irritated at the fact that it exists or is popular imo kind of misses the fact that this… is the state and nation personification fandom. and its hard to say its not canon when canon did once portray the characters in uniform and at times involved in their state activities… like the early strips discussing western imperialism in china is literally ‘china being bullied by the allies’ ‘france wanting to grope china’ ‘china being treated like a maid’ etc etc like they were very much. the state LOL also china and japan’s canon relationship, as much as I have my issues with it, has an entire thing about china being stabbed by japan… i do feel like hetalia started out as a history nerd’s history exploration that blended humour with ‘what i find cute’ with satire etc etc, which inevitably involves illustrating the personifications as vessels of state and culture, and although the modern strips have deviated quite a bit… well, different people will approach this series for different reasons, right? Whether its serious or comedic content showing the characters as mean or imperialist or unpleasant, it’s not something that deviates too far from canon (if we take all canon eras into consideration) nor is it surprising given how history laden the topic is.
#diary#hetalia#hater tag#also have some issues with some things being called drama…#like i know some of u think of me and some others as drama stirring little devils#honestly i dont enjoy drama that much but ill become upset when i see things that i see as racist or insensitive…#because im of the opinion that this fandom requires extra sensitivity given the subject matter.#let people have fun#but#also be careful yk? i guess for me personally im always trying to be careful#when im out of my depth i try to talk to ppl with better understanding while doing my own research#and if ive written or expressed antyhing bad (which i certainly have even on this blog many times before)#i try to change my stances with new info… and like#this is important to me and its important for me to read ppls thoughts bc.#i know what its like to be treated racistly and dismissed. or to have things and history precious to me twisted#but anyways rambling aside… i guess what i want to say is i understand it seems annoying but#if you post something insensitive… and someone gets upset… then thats just how it is. hetalia is sensitive#again ive definitely posted bad insensitive things. ive been told im acting out of line.#and it sucks. but… sometimes you have to understand ur own irritation doesnt outweigh the hurt#and listen a little#sometimes i like things that i then find are insensitive or cruel. and id rather not engage with it than dismiss peoples hurt… or something#honestly i keep most of my whining private i promise JLKFHDJGLKFH BC FOR THE MOST PART I THINK I CAN TELL THE DIFF BETWEEN#when i have a real issue and when im just nitpicking#so i keep my more petty whining or basic stuff private#but if i see something egregious then i dont want to be quiet#and if a friend of mine (esp if theyre a kid) is upset or hurt by racism I dont want to be quiet
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