#that “DIE HARD!” looks so pretty too
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Euronymous writing in Russian + my commentary.
About the 2nd one: he probably spelled "народов" ("peoples") as "нородов" because of the stupid Russian grammar, which sometimes makes no sense. Maybe he thought there should be two о's. Like in "городов" ("cities"). 🤔 He probably forgot how to spell these words and tried to guess based on how he remembered them to sound and tried to apply logic.
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#I posted this on r/Mayhem over a year ago but here's a better version with me yapping!#something something I'm neurodivergent and I like Euro a lot#he's the only guy I can forgive for being into this USSR stuff 😔 booo for the rest 👎🏻🙄#he's weirdly adorable. the 3rd pic is everything to me. so sweet ^_^ good handwriting too 🖤#and he didn't get carried away in all of those hooks in the letters lol#diva dare I say#that “DIE HARD!” looks so pretty too#Mayhem#Euronymous#Øystein Aarseth#black metal#NERD ALERT 🚨☝🏻🤓#added another small thing
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Kaka compilation
Because everyone is sleeping on him. Witness his greatness!! First two Kaka colored icons were colored by me, lineart by Ryoko Kui though!
Kaka & Kiki are kinda like Laios & Falin… Kaka being stoic and giving repressed energy like early Laios, Kiki being cryptic and always smiling and kinda soft-looking. Autism siblings 2, ostracized and othered as kids and have a deep bond due to sticking together through it all, though unlike with Laios their parents are very loving so Kaka developed family as a big value more than Laios (bc asides for Falin Laios doesn’t care much about it).
In the gnome festival comic you can see Kaka is more emotive than he seems! Full with a :3 face, and he’s the one crying at the end. He’s insecure about his legs and being tall… It really got to him. Conceal don’t feel. In the gnome festival comic you also see him sensing others’ gaze on him and that something is off unlike Kiki, again Laios-like in the way that judgement from others gets to him more than her.
#The twins are so autistic swag#A falin just as chilled out and smiling and a laios who never stopped repressing#They’re so neurodivergent and they’re allowed to just exist I love you Kui. Kaka is just literally me#I looove characters that are hard to know and hard to read/easily misunderstood. They’re my favorite thing#LOOK AT THE WAY HE SMILES THE WAY HE BLUSHESSS HE’S PERFECT and I would take a harpoon to the chest for him thank u#I do love Kiki too btw but I’ve been seeing her in fancontent and posts way more than Kaka so I had to give him some spotlight#But also Laios is my fave of the Toudens so this very much checks out#Their pre-Flokes story would be interesting to analyze too#Dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#kaka floke#Kaka#Kiki and kaka#floke twins#As you may guess from my new-ish icon I am in my kaka era#ALSO I SWEAR TO GOD STOP BEING MEAN ABOUT HIS NAME#KA IS A SYLLABLE IN MY IRL NAME. YES I WAS BULLIED AND CALLED KAKA AS A KID. MY NAME ALSO MEANS UGLY STUFF IN A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE#KAKA’S A PRETTY NAME I’LL DIE ON THIS HILL. IT’S NOT WEIRD IF YOU DON’T MAKE IT WEIRD#Oh also another laios falin parallel: they both sort-of-date the same woman
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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Doing a bit of a Santa Clarita Diet rewatch, and while I don't know intentional any of Abby's queer-coding was (and how much was just Hewson's vibes), her relationship with Eric has such teenage comphet energy. Like whenever Abby's like "I really care about you, more than anyone, but it's hard for me to pretend I'm into the physical; this has maybe a 2% chance of working out," my lesbian ass is just nodding so hard. Like, yeah! Exactly! You don't know you're gay yet, or you sense it in yourself and try to veer away, so what's the easiest option? You find the soft nerd boy, your best friend in the world, someone you absolutely trust to have your back no matter what, and go, "Yeah, uh huh, sure. I'll try that one." You absolutely look for the most non-threatening dude in the vicinity. And then it's improved by Eric's whole thing being like "yeah, this is absolutely someone I am down bad for, but if she doesn't wind up digging me that way, she's still my best friend." It reads so true. No idea if they were ever going to actually walk down that road, but in my heart of hearts? Here for it.
#santa clarita diet#i do not have a meta tag for this show and...i do not think i need one#but i get this a little more every time i revisit the show#some of it is almost definitely hewson's powerful queer energy but like. looking at the awkwardness of the sven thing lends to it too#you're trying really hard not to see yourself as a lesbian so what's the OTHER natural option to cling to?#the popular pretty boy#and it's just so awkward and uncomfortable#and then you get the winter friendship where there's so much chemistry and that just dumbass teen recklessness#that is innate to abby as a character but also SO present in first relationships for queer kids who are just incredibly excited to be In It#and then all the lil rainbows and shit in the costuming#yeah i'll die on this hill. lesbian vibes all the way for abby hammond i love this character so much#fun fact: my soft easy-cling friend of choice also happened to be gay#and while we literally never talked about it until we were adults i know we both clocked each other in like middle school#so shoutout to my buddy alex for being a safe 'yeah sure that can be a crush i never have to do anything about' person#a true legend of a man
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dead by daylight-- the game where you can play as steve harrington from stranger things, and can get sent to partake in a match of murder hide and seek at midwich elementary from silent hill, where you can then use a lute to perform bardic inspiration from dungeons and dragons to give a bonus to your teammates, except for the one who is being chased by nemesis from resident evil 3.
#dbd#thoughts about media#yes steve's jacket is bugged. it's done this before but I didn't think it'd do it again.#better than whatever the hell bug aestri has rn with her face.#girl looked like the fucking unknown.#anyway I was lagging WAY. WAY too hard to try another match for a better picture with a different skin.#I just remembered I unlocked bardic inspiration on that day my internet actually cooperated and I HAD to see steve play the lute.#it's so cute. the survivors all smile when they play. T___T I have to see gabe. claude. and nancy do this.#but I'll wait until my internet isn't getting me randomly downed by zombies.#I'm pretty sure my lag got elodie killed too so I feel kind of bad but it is also sort of funny that I wasn't even playing-#-killer and still managed to get a survivor killed.#not that I haven't done that befoooore.... or that I haven't done it deliberately in the past...#I will never forget you RPD ghostface who showed me he had the matching “I'd kill for you” heart charm to my “hooked on you” one.#and then killed a david for me when I asked him as a joke LOL. we watched his body ascend in the entity's spidery limbs together.#it was a beautifully romantic moment <3#generally speaking I am a decent survivor who will die so you can get out. like a good steve player should be.#However. if the evil man that I find sexy is nice to me? I'm so so sooo sorry for what you're going to endure if he only wants to spare me.
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Have you ever drawn / considered drawing any of the other IEYTD characters as objects? I wanna see what The Handler looks like in your style! (Only if you want to of course)
Yes actually! But I haven't drawn any of their assets yet (IM WORKING ON IT I SWEAR) so here are a bunch of little concept arts/doodles of the ieytd guys!
#agent phoenix lighter#i expect you to die#ieytd#ieytd fandom#agent phoenix#agent phoenix ieytd#ieytd fanart#object show community#osc#art#There's no Juniper because I still haven't figured out how to draw him#i got a hivemind sketch too#but its ugly so youll have to wait till i made him look normal#the others i have no ideas for yet#all of these are w.i.p.'s!!! they might look different when im done#plus some have several designs (cough cough prism cough cough)#they doodles are ugly and thats ok#they arent supposed to be pretty#tried making zor and failed earlier#assets are hard
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"Your hair is amazing how do you do it?"
Emm I wash it 😅
It's cut with a lot of short layers for volume but literally all I do is wash with shampoo, no conditioner, put salt spray in it when it's wet and let it air dry, it just looks like this naturally 😅
(Bet this is thrilling information if you're only here to see my tits 😝😂)
#sometimes ill use a defuser if i need it dry quick#i also only really brush it before i wash it#if i brush it after its a big frizzy or goes straight#i really should take better care of it but it seems healthy#my hairs natural texture is also pretty dry/wavy so that helps it look fluffy#i dont die it or use heat often so that maybe helps too#been years since i straightened it#i also cut it myself so mind yah business if it looks dodgy 😂#also ive had a fridge/bangs basically my whole life and i dont get the whole 'having bangs is such hard work'#maybe its how i sleep and not having oily skin/hair but 98% of the time I dont need to do anything to it#like some people seem to need to style/wash them daily and mine just vibe#or maybe its because i like the bed head look
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Thinking abt mechanisms and tummy again <333
#Tim is on the brain#she'd be so fucking skinny. very tragic. consequences of the moon war#she's Also one of the ones who gets full body resets pretty regularly bc of her violence habits#so she very rarely has the opportunity to put on weight- and even more rarely the opportunity to keep it for any notable period of time#she filled out a bit during her Persephone era with the (at the minimum) 70 years Ashes ruled the Acheron#bc she did not die often then and when she did it was even more rarely a complete destruction of her body#it was WILD to look at her body in the mirror and not see bone for the first couple years.#and she kinda misses it sometimes but she won't say that alout#also Jonny <333#he was underfed as hell (less so than Tim tho) during his time in new texas but I like to think his body just naturally holds weight easier#he's always had a bit of a belly#and there was enough time between Carmilla picking him up and getting mechanized that he picked up some more weight too#through regular meals and alcoholism#he's got a beer belly. like his belly isn't stiff stiff and there's a lot of softness there but its more rounded than folds#typical beer belly from a naturally fat person y'know#ough#I love them sm#tummy <33333#all of the mechs are just... so unapologetically into each other's body types#Ivy definitely is chubby too love her for that <3333#all the mechs are chubby. Ts and Tim and Nastya are the exceptions#Brian was heavy set well before his death and that benefited him so much as a robot. so much extra space for optimizing machinery#which is also delightful to crack his stomach open and spread that sensitive machinery out on a bed around him to play with#Ashes is also the obvious choice here but they like to stay completely clothed a lot so tummy glimpses are hard to come by#and immediately drooled over by their partners.#and Raphaella always wears that lil crop top in contrast and she gets So many tummy kisses#and y'know her tummy is ALSO immediately drooled over by her partners because their bodies never get old to each other#everyone has such good tummies. there's no such thing as a bad tummy regardless of how big or small it is#kinkdicon
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My 3 little cousins were baptized today. "Triggered" is kind of a strong word but being in a catholic church again... I'm a little fragile rn ngl.
#butch speaks#it was hard not to shake as i held J over the basin to have the water poured on his head#when he was cleansed of sin. as if a little kid could ever knowly or intentionally offend a so-called loving god#the words came naturally to me#but they meant nothing#i remember when they used to mean something. when i begged gods forgiveness for my sin (being a lesbian) and tried to pray the gay away#i remember how much i wanted to die bc i could never truly embrace the sacred#i STILL deal with the complex of catholic guilt. its a very real thing. its hard to shake#i cant help but wonder if the catholicism ingrained in my brain is why i have a hard time with casual dating n sex#fun fact: there was a point when i was a teen that i got REALLY catholic#i prayed everyday. i talked to my patrin saint (st agnes) every day. i wantsd to become a nun#the thought of marrying a man mad me more sad than feeling like an alien did. so id marry the church as a nun.#not the way to hide being a dyke when ur fam is catholic btw LMAO#the first priest i knew was father joe. i loved that guy. he was so kind. friendly. briming with love.#he was one of my biggest references for what a good person was like#he talked about gods love a lot. how its for everyone. no one is exluded. ever.#he used to look right at me when he said stuff like that. a few other kids too. all of whom grew up to be queer#then father joe passed away. our church merged with another church. father jeff was the priest there.#he was kind but not as kind. he talked about hell and sin more. he looked at the same kids father joe did.#but the kindness in his eyes wasnt there.#that wasnt for us.#my family wasnt even THAT catholic#i went to church every sunday i did vacation bible school and catechism classes and youth group#i was an altar servant and in the choir#i even used to speak/understand a little latin#imagine how much worse id have been if my mom could have afforded catholic school lmao#grateful to have grown up poor in that regard#hm. actually... reading my own tags. mayne we were pretty catholic actually.#fucking hell.#i need to have lesbian sex in a church before god and everyone. mayeb that would fix me.
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honk shoo.
#but yeah sleepy.#i have so much to do these next few days I’m gonna die#meanwhile I just wanna see my friends#the good thing is that some of the busy things involve seeing my friends but goddamn why are almost all of them hard#also YES I’m going to be dumb and gay again bc a) why shouldn’t I b) nobody can stop me#I’m being dumb and gay again.#now seen The Guy twice since I’ve been back and he’s very cool#still feel like I’m being insane god idk what I’m doing#I hope he comes tomorrow bc he can’t make the meeting which means he won’t be on committee which sucks bc he did want to#OH but I did mean to tell him there was one role he could go for and have a good shot at that I think he’d be good for#only problem is if he doesn’t come tomorrow I can’t tell him in time bc I don’t have any way to message him other than email#(which feels slightly creepy bc I only know it bc secretary and he’s never explicitly said his surname so it’s just inferred from the list)#idk. the thing that gets me is we are very much friends now. like early stages of friends but we keep talking at hockey#and importantly he keeps coming To Me which keeps surprising me bc he does it more than any of my other friends#but I guess I’m also coming to him kinda a lot too. self awareness falls when around cute boy you get how it is#god it’s so unfair why is he like this#I finished getting my skates off before he did yesterday which gave me a very good opportunity to Look while he was talking#and have it not be weird and he’s just very pretty. he’s got a rlly nice nose#i always feel insane pointing out noses it’s the Draw speaking bc I use noses as a focal point and they’re fun to draw#tbh it’s unlikely I will say someone does Not have a nice nose but idk let me have this. it would be fun to draw is maybe what I mean#and I hadn’t noticed before bc the like bridge? and uhh like. base? idk nose words but they don’t match#the bridge is super long and on the thin side w a bump like mine but the like bottom is much rounder and wider and I don’t see that mix much#he also just has rlly nice hair it’s super curly and he’s in that like weird light brown purgatory where it’s all different colours#like it’s mostly light brown but some bits look rlly dark and some especially at the ends is like almost blonde and it changes w the light#god he also keeps doing this dumb fucking thing where he’s trying to skate while squatting all the way and it’s ridiculous#he looks like a spider folding in on itself and the worst part is he can fucking do it#he’s gotten so good at skating recently and I have a feeling he lives somewhere with an ice rink bc I’m sure he’s better than he was novembr#yeah I also got to just stand and watch him play yesterday and it’s so incredibly horribly unfair#anyway I’m too fucking gay and I will not let him escape me again tomorrow I Will get his instagram or smth bc I swear this man#luke.txt
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Yall dont even know how badly down i was for this guy back in the day. Mf had me eating off the palm of his hand.
#luly talks#im pretty sure hes the main reason why im so into eyepatches in characters#at least one of the reasons at least#he was so hot AND FOR WHAT#TO SPEND HALF OF THE GAME JUST PUKING BLOOD#i remember close to nothing about this game but that scene had little kid me like sobbing and screaming and ripping my hair off#im exaggerating but not entirely im sure i cried when it looked like he was going to die#fucking okegom itself had me eating off the palm of their hand when i was a kid which#ITS BAD I KNOW LMAO but man. zany emoji but man. these silly little characters had me ON MY KNEES i swear to god#i dont actually remember if i was down as bad for anyone in wadanohara i guess. idate? and the octopus#but it was NOTHING like what me and wodahs had. or nega. although w nega it was platonic love i didnt wanna fuck that thing#i spoke of nega before the moment he died was one of the hardest blows kid me took#i mean they fucking crucified my man. they nailed him to the fucking cross. i was like 8.#my 8 year old ass did NOT need to see my at the time all time fave be fucking crucified i literally was crying so fucking hard#this sort of *grips table* way of interacting w shit did carry me to UT where when papyrus died i was like NOOOOOOOOOOO#bc i used to be a papyrus girlie yeah#part time sans girlie too i mean who wasnt back then but it was platonic never wished to fuck him#i dont remember if i didnt wanna fuck paps tho#i DO remember wanting to fuck grillby tho KFAJDHBGJH#when i got into lisa i was already too old and too normal to go as crazy anymore#no games ever managed to make me as emotional as Mogeko Castle and TGG just cuz of wodahs tho
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having conniptions at 3am as I realize that my only fully finished and realized fanfics are a one shot warrior cats vampire AU and a long ass one piece self insert shipfic that no one other than me will ever lay eyes on (probably?)
why am I like this help
#useless text post#I find myself writing almost exclusively self insert actually which I don't care if people find cringe but even so I find myself unable to#release them into the wilds#I have a couple non self insert-y ideas but its so hard to get. into the headspace to write them#or maybe I take them more seriously?#but then again I took my two longest self insert fics pretty seriously too so idk I guess i'm stuck unable to pass the embarrassment barrie#the embarrier as you will#secretly part of me does want to go ahead and post them now that I have an AO3 account but also the worries#what if peopel see them?#but even worse I think somehow is if I knew lots of people did see them and just ignored them I would fucking die#But like ...my tastes. are very formulaic and also specific#what if they bore people? On the other hand: What if they're exactly what someone has been looking for#im overthinking all this LMAO#I don't think im brave enough to do it tonight but maybe. maybe one day I'll be bold I'll be brave etc etc.#cringe on main blah blah#no one will read my inane word vomit tags anyways what am I worried for#(pleas validate me)
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when fratboy!satoru takes your virginity you kind of expect him to be an ass about it. he's cocky as it is, and has a habit of gassing himself up too much when it comes to his... skills in the bedroom. if you're not listening to him talk about how he's the strongest, you're listening to him talk about how he's the biggest.
being the only virgin of your friend group was starting to grate on you and... a small part of you might've wanted to find out if there's any bite to satoru's bark. it's not like the two of you were dating or anything, but you felt comfortable enough to walk up to him one day during lunch and ask, in front of his best friend:
"will you take my virginity?"
maybe you expected him to blush. or freeze up. or at least trip over his words. but instead, the stupid white-haired prick looked up at you with the most relaxed expression possible and shrugged.
"okay."
and that's how you ended up here, sitting criss-cross applesauce on his messy dorm-room bed with his tongue halfway down your throat. a few empty cans of beer and abandoned cheat sheets lay strewn over his floor, and you hate yourself for letting this be the backdrop of your entry into the sex-having life.
but you can’t hate yourself for long because as he runs a hand up your thigh and under your skirt, you start to feel more excited than you thought you’d feel. he pushes you back, slots his knee between your thighs and bites at your bottom lip before trailing down to your throat.
still, it’s satoru, so when he pushes your panties to the side and feels just how wet you are for him, he laughs. “you get this wet when you touch yourself or is all of this just for me?”
“shut up,” you groan as he nips at the skin of your throat and gently runs his finger through your folds and up to your clit. you’re surprised he knows where your clit is, even.
and he’s not wrong—you’ve never been wet like this before. you can feel just how damp the fabric of your panties are you as satoru pulls them down your thighs and hikes your skirt up to get a clearer look at your soaked cunt.
“pretty,” he licks his lips. “wannna taste her, that okay baby?”
his eyes search yours for consent and you’re stunned for a moment as he waits for ‘enthusiastic consent’. you didn’t expect this sort of check-in from a frat boy. your nod seems enthusiastic enough to him, but just for clarity—“use your words.”
“yes. please, gojo.”
“satoru,” he corrects you. “want to hear that name when you cum on my tongue. cant believe no ones tasted her before.”
the use of referring to your pussy as ‘her’ is odd but quickly overlooked when he delves into your pussy like he’s dehydrated. tongue flat against your heat just to flex and circle around your clit. he sucks and bites a little and pulls you to your first orgasm in nasty speeds.
you cum on his tongue whilst his eyes bore into yours from between your thighs. white hair pulled out of his face by your hand as you tug the strands in hopes that he’ll stop licking at your overstimulated clit. it takes until you’re shaking for him to finally pull back and free his angry cock from his pants.
you think you gasp when you see it. he said he was big but you didn’t think he was a truthful man in the slightest. his cock is so heavy it doesn’t even stand at full mast—it fights gravity. satoru sees the look on your face and instead of sporting a shit-eating grin like you expect, he climbs over you and presses a soft kiss to your forehead.
“let’s stop here?” he asks. “we could watch a movie. oooh what about die hard?”
you giggle, your nerves melting a little at his words. “i’m okay, i want this. i am not graduating as a virgin.”
satoru snorts and, after rolling a condom on, gently pries your legs apart enough for him to slot his wait in between them. he guides your ankles to link behind his back and slowly runs the tip of his cock through your slick folds. “tell me if you need me to stop,” he says. “just relax. i’ve got you, baby.”
you actually manage to relax a little, focus on the feeling of being stretched as satoru slowly pushes into you until his tip is completely hidden in your cunt. it’s uncomfortable, but not unbearable. “keep going.”
one of his long fingers dips down to rub soft circles over your clit to relax you a little more as he pushes deeper. you’ve never felt so full, so sore yet desperate for more… you wonder if it’s always going to feel like this, or if it’s just because satoru is the one breaking you open to find pleasure in your insides.
he lets out a pretty moan as he bottoms out inside of you, the weight of his heavy balls resting against your ass as he stills and catches your lips in a wet kiss. his tongue slips into your mouth, runs over your teeth and pushes against your tongue as he slowly draws out of you and then, with a grunt that you taste, snaps his hips forwards into you.
that hurts, but there’s an odd stitch of pleasure in the way he’s broken you open. “sorry,” he speaks against your lips. “it’s better that i just got it out of the way, it can start feeling real good soon. gonna make you cum on my cock, baby. you want that?”
you nod, eyes staring into his as your foreheads meet. satoru nods back, licking his lips and smiling. “yeah? you wanna be stuffed full, huh? always knew you were filthy. but i’m the only one that gets to see it.”
his arrogance pulls at your lips. “until i fuck the next guy.”
snap. his cock splits you open at that, and though you wince and screw your face us, you’re letting out moans made for porn too. his finger on your clit starts working a little faster as he draws back again just to drive into you even harder.
“no,” he dips his head down to bite at your neck. “not until you fuck the next guy. i mean you can try, baby, but it’s not happening.”
“ngh, what do you mean?”
another thrust into you sends you further up the bed. you’re sure you look a mess but satoru looks down at you with such wide blown eyes that you could be convinced you’re from the heavens. “not giving you up that easy,” he groans. “you know, i fucked someone last week just because they had your name. got to moan it without being slapped. again.”
your hand flies up to his chest, almost in an attempt to slow his now mean pace. “wait you—ngh god—you like me?”
“i’m far fucking past like,” he moans, hips starting to stutter. any discomfort has faded into glorious pleasure. your stomach starts to tighten again and you know you’re close enough that he’s going to try and time your orgasms. “you’re so perfect. so much better than i imagined.”
your eyes roll back a little at the thought of satoru fucking his fist late at night to the thought of you. how nonchalant he was when you asked him to take your virginity, you wonder if he went home last night and stroked himself to the sheer anticipation of being inside of you.
“satoru i’m gonna—”
he cuts you off with a deep kiss. it’s sex and want and lust, but it’s also soft in a way you can’t describe—maybe even a little anxious after his confession. it might just be his pending orgasm, but you swear his lips tremble between yours.
his cock throbs as he drills it into you, hits your most sensitive spot with every single thrust. it’s like he already has you mapped out, because you’re both cumming in tandem with each other before long.
a part of you aches to feel his cum spill into you instead of the condom he wears, to be claimed and filled by his seed over and over. would he fuck it back into you? clean you off with his talented tongue? would he plug you with his cock until he’s ready to overfill you with a second load?
he moans into your mouth and pulls back a little to revel in your fucked out expression. your legs still wrap around his waist, boxing him in and keeping him close. you worry that in typical frat boy fashion he’ll make an excuse and run off to recount the fuck with his friends. but satoru pecks at your lips, then your chin, then down your neck again.
“what are you doing?” you ask, vision slightly blurred from the intensity of your orgasm.
“gonna make you cum again,” he smiles against your skin. “didn’t you hear?”
“hear what?”
he pulls back to look at you, a soft smile pulling at his pretty lips. “that if you cum at least five times when you lose your virginity, you’ll fall in loooove.”
#gojo smut#satoru gojo smut#satoru gojo x you#jjk smut#gojo satoru smut#satoru smut#gojo x reader#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x you#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader
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why am I such a deeply humiliating person? why is this always how it goes??? I do my research, I do my best, I can see the results are not good but I don't know how else to continue because nobody will answer my questions, someone looks at it and tells me it's not good enough. and I know they're right and it's entirely fair for them to say it. it's just humiliating to have anyone else bear witness to my failures. I know when I've done a bad job of something and I've always tried to admit it straight off, and this thing I'm trying where I hold my head up high and say "yes, that was my best effort, thank you for your time" and pretend I'm proud of my work is soul crushing. and I know a lot of the time it's not actually that bad and I'm exaggerating it in my head but it's so fucking humiliating every time.
#did badly in a job interview the other day and cant stop thinking about it <3#she was super nice about it and I was trying to hard to be dignified but oh my god i want to crawl into a hole and die#i am getting better at looking like a calm and cool collected person but she kept telling me not to be nervous so.#im pretty sure i failed there too.#i want to burrow into the sand like a snake and never come out <3#she told me to reapply in a month if i really wanted to come back so im going to do that. i have no idea why she wants me there but she does#and i want a job!!#ugh i hate going BACK to places after experiences like this#im embarrassed in a place once and i think about it every time i come back#and like. i did not do good work. i know i could have done better but idk what exactly happened#the nerves and the months of not doing it and the unfamiliar setting got to me#but oh my GOD im so humiliated. i hate doing badly on things and i did BADLY#why tf would she invite me back. i would not have invited me back seeing me perform like that#journal#personal#rant
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i watched a video of a world of warcraft clicker (a player who clicks on their abilities, ZERO keybinds) killing Tier 2 ("??" difficulty) Zekvir.
Absolutely insane.
#if they can do it then i can too#i just need to get my ilvl up a bit more (and get lucky with it lmao rng hates me) and do a tier 9/10 with revives remaining#then im good to go#thing is... my main is a balance druid#it's DEFINITELY doable but it's gonna be fuckin hard#but man that person made it look so easy#who knows they probably actually DO bind... maybe they just did it for the fun of it#if they are seriously a clicker though... massive respect#massive respect either way. it's not easy playing the game like that#it took me YEARS to finally set up a few basic keybinds#FINALLY got a mmo mouse like a week and a half ago. still getting used to it#butr man it has changed how i play the game DRAMATICALLY. and FOREVER.#i still click out of habit though. old habits die hard for me man#i still bite my nails so im still gonna fuckin click some abilities#some of the mouse buttons are hard to reach. it's a pretty big mouse#i wasnt expecting it to be that big but eh. i'll press what i can#it was affordable and a bday present for myself so why not#ramblings
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I would like to be done suffering
#personal#i know that life is suffering#but i would like for mine to stop being that#im so tired#pls i just want to stop struggling#like havent i had enough 😭#i literally work from 7am to 11pm today and i barely pay my bills :)#and i have a degree 😭😭#that im in debt from and wont pay off for another 10-15 years#i miss beimg able to go out to eat and being able to come home and not have work still#i miss my friends and family too#like damn shit just sucks so hard#and to top it all off im living in the devil's asshole#Phoenix is probably the shittiest place in all of the US straight up#like yehaw there’s pretty mountains but you cant hike them bc you will die#from scorpions snakes or the weather just stay inside and cry#and the sun is going to make me look 10 years older than i am if i stay here much longer#i already see it#someone save me 😭😭😭😭 im done playing adult shit is bad!!
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