#cringe on main blah blah

[darkforestwarriors]

having conniptions at 3am as I realize that my only fully finished and realized fanfics are a one shot warrior cats vampire AU and a long ass one piece self insert shipfic that no one other than me will ever lay eyes on (probably?)

why am I like this help

[grasslandgirl]

literally who’s gonna be black cat/orange cat with me. for real ?????

[grantihare]

what to do when youve just finished convincing yourself that your friends dont all secretly hate you and then they immediately cancel your plans to hang out with other ppl lol

[lalarawr]

the horrors ive been experiencing

[bubblergoespop]

audio rp is cringe yeah yeah blah blah all that stuff

the main reason it’s perceived as cringe is not only because of the poor quality of a lot of them, but also because no one is willing to take them seriously.

literally every piece of fictional, entertainment media created is just people pretending. the magic happens by convincing the audience that what’s happening in a film or a book is real. or (a better way of wording it would be) by evoking strong emotions, so that even though the media is fake, those emotions are real. and they compel the audience to immerse themselves further in this fake universe. if the audience allows it, that is.

if you were to watch a film and completely disregard the intent behind all of the scripting, acting etc and just view it as people playing pretend, then it’s very easy to see it as cringe. that’s why so many people say they couldn’t be an actor. by taking media seriously, it heightens the immersion and overall experience. with poor quality literature and films, it’s very hard to take them seriously, even if the concept is great. i think that can be applied to audio role plays.

if people would genuinely sit back and immerse themselves in the universes that these creators make, i think they’d find them really enjoyable and these audios wouldn’t be looked down upon as much as they currently are. sure, its hard to look past the poor quality of some of them, but this is such a niche branch of media with so little general acceptance, i think it’s fair to allow people’s audios to not have the same level of quality as media created by megalithic corporations. but no, they’re made fun of to the point where people create reaction videos to them, laughing at every word and refusing to accept that this is just another way of expressing a story (a more immersive way than others if you ask me).

also, some audio role plays are just cringe. that’s not gonna change. i can’t stand 90% of them bc the voice acting is so bad and unserious, and they’re practically just fan service for horny, lonely people 😭 this whole ramble is mostly about those few gems that are the channels ive managed to find amongst all the neko yandere mommy daddy mafia boss deep voice shit. there’s bad films and books out there that are cringey and fan-servicey, but one bad version of one of those doesn’t impact the public’s view of the rest. why does it only apply to this medium?

[captainjoongki]

not to sound like an annoying karen, but i honestly, truly feel that netflix has fucked up the kdrama genre for good.

just 10-ish years ago, there were kdramas that the big 3 korean channels (SBS, MBC, KBS) would broadcast and then there were kdramas that the main cable channels (jTBC and tvN) would broadcast. and between those groupings, you got everything. you got 16-20 episodes of dramas that had heartfelt writing, filmed with bright colors, filmed with concise plots, that most of the time, ended WELL. you got a GOOD ending that was complete. the works felt authentically south korean. yes, there were cheesy tropes and moments that made you cringe, but it felt so real. and you had SO many kdramas airing during the week! you couldn't keep track of just how many!

cut to netflix coming in and making it big with kdramas with squid game and some romantic works and then suddenly they (and disney+) are making these short kdramas, less than 10 episodes, with generic filters, generic plots, and poorly written scripts that are just mere shadows of what kdramas used to be. they end shitty 90% of the time. and worst of all, they feel like american shows. and no, i don't mean sex scenes or action scenes because hey, i love change there, but i mean the entire VIBES are just off. they're not the kdramas i fell in love with, the ones that felt so human. and thanks to these big, foreign companies coming in, the main broadcast channels have basically shut down 1/2 their timeslots, and so many dramas aren't even getting aired these days.

yes times change progress is great robots will probably replace us all in a few years blah blah, but it's really depressing to me personally since i have such fond memories of the utter joy of kdramas, especially from the golden era of 2008-2017. and while there are some that escape the netflix!americanized! curse, it's unfortunately the majority that remain nothing but commercial puppets, rather than authentic entertainment.

[halenhusky309]

Just recently finished LOTR and realized I'm old because I found out I can't stand the "blind optimism" from TF:O Orion Pax that much. Seeing Frodo and Sam were stuck in a dire situation that they knew they would have died anytime and still they still pushed through to get that one task done. And they didn't even know if they would even succeed the task, given the unpending dangers and despairs continue to loom over them... So when Orion Pax had that "down" moment after his friend(s) got captured by Arachnid and he was about to fold in guilt and "hopelessness", I couldn't help to find it so ridiculous and laughable to me. And it was not even helping when that moment followed by that cringe-ass, forced as f from Elita-1 as the movie tried to remind that this sidelined queen is still important to the main's development ..... "Oh, Elita-1 said the 'blind optimism' which would become the new name of Orion Pax when he became the Prime. See? He's peak representation of optimism and hope and blah, blah, blah" because he chose to do so many reckless and even outright stupid shits without even thinking out consequences ... "But he did those stupid acts to give everyone a better future" ... Yeah it was fun for a while but not, Orion's brand of optimism was just grating to me. It likes someone screaming and pointing at themselves: "see, see, see. I'm an optimistic boy because I'm cheerful, acting like a little shit that makes stupid and reckless decisions because I don't scare the consequences. But when I was in a slight 'dead end situation' and I finally tasted the consequences of my reckless choices, I felt hopeless and needed someone to cheer me up by reminding my cheerful dumbass optimism and no thoughts of consequences is good actually"

Okay, Optimism "by default" Prime.

Yeah, no. I take characters who are aware of the dire consequences but still hopeful for better outcomes. Yeah, Frodo and Sam deliberately blind themselves to the dangers and terrible outcomes to keep going, and that made me emotional.

[iris-sistibly]

I'm probably going to hell for this, but I don't feel any sympathy for Julio Borromeo at all.

Dude not only cheated on his wife but also impregnated another woman, and kept this as a secret for years until the death of Filipina.

While I disagree with how Carmela treats Adelina, she has every right to be furious at Julio--this motherfucker had been lying straight to her face for YEARS. Telling Carmela and Teresita that they're the only women in his life, and him telling Adelina how his and Fina's ✨love story✨ began, how he wanted to make her happy after Fina was left by her ex boyfriend after getting her pregnant was like...pure cringe, like bitch who the fuck do you think you are? Some God's gift to women? Some knight-in-shining armour who ought to "save" every lonely woman in the country?

Some of y'all would probably be like, "Oh but he regrets it now, he has been asking for his wife's forgiveness, he's a good father, blah, blah, blah."

This pathetic excuse of a man, tried to deny Adelina when Amelia brought her to his theater (after Fina's death). Tried to lie AGAIN to his wife and daughter despite the truth being slapped on their faces, he's sorry and regrets it? Motherfucker was sorry only after he couldn't deny the truth anymore. Imagine being in Carmela's shoes and your husband, whom you thought was a good man turned out to be a horrible one?

And him not showing up to Fina's funeral to be there for Adelina because he doesn't want to see Fina lifeless is bullshit. He didn't go to the funeral because people will talk, rumors will spread which will eventually cause humiliation to his family, his business going bankrupt, etc. Adelina just loves her father too much.

He loves Filipina?

No, he's a selfish bastard who wants both Carmela and Fina for himself.

He loves his wife?

LIE. You don't betray the person you love. Cheating is a choice, those who cheat always have the excuse of "nagmahal lang ako," and "nagkamali ako," these are so overused. May utak ka diba? You know cheating is bad yet you did it anyway. It's a choice, it's always a choice.

In the show, it was implied that Carmela paid someone to burn the theater. I'm not saying what she did was right, but as the saying goes, "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." She was deeply hurt, and betrayed by her own husband. She wanted to inflict the worst pain possible for Julio, to ruin him the way he ruined her. It was Julio who turned her into the villain that she is now, Carmela's only mistake was she projected that anger towards Adelina who is innocent in all of this, and in doing so she ended up resenting her own daughter, Teresita for choosing to have a sisterly relationship with Adelina.

"Oh but she can choose to forgive and move past that."

Yeah, because doing that is a walk in the park **insert sarcasm** you can't just tell someone to move on especially when they are still clearly hurting. Betrayal is the worst kind of pain you could inflict on someone, and when trust is gone it's hard to earn it back...chances are, you won't.

"But Carmela going as far as burning Julio's theater is too much."

I do believe it's too much. But Julio begging Carmela to save the theater by selling some of the properties to save their livelihood? And that being a performer is the only job he knows? Nah, he wants to save the theater to preserve the place that reminds him so much of his affair partner. The livelihood, the shows were not the main reasons. Carmela might have turned into a cold, bitter, resentful woman but let's not forget who turned her into this.

Moral of the story: Julio is a walking red flag and that he deserves the karma hahahaha! Also, divorce should be legal in the Philippines.

P.S. I hope the writers don't come up with the bullshit that the wife is a bitch to justify the man's affair. It's 2024, not the 80's.

[m0llygunn]

Strat and Jag (Eddie Munson x fem!reader)

Summary: an unfortunate bout of eavesdropping rocks the boat of friendship between you and eddie, and ex-sailor steve helps steer you right...

Warnings: 18+ for mature content (not too explicit yet) and eventual smut, mature language, mentions of eddie trauma (parents/alluding to drug issues). Authors note: howdy this is part 2. also i take back the prologue being a prologue, thats just part one idk what im doing. This part and the 3rd part will be the main chunk of this series, then I have bonus chapters coming after! ty! wc: 6.7k+

01/02

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The Fire of All Hells

“I can’t fucking do this anymore, holy shit. She’s killing me.”

“Killing you? I don’t think it’s that serious, man.” Gareth laughs.

“No.” Eddie says harshly. “If you heard what she was saying yesterday… holy fuck, you’d understand. She is killing me.” He groans. 

“Well, dude, you know what you could do?” Jeff replies sarcastically.

Eddie, Jeff, and Gareth were all setting up in the drama room and you figured you’d show up a little early with the cookies you made after Eddie left you yesterday. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

While you didn’t play DnD, you were an odd sort of an ‘unofficial’ member. You and Eddie have been friends forever so it was kind of pushed into your lap when he wanted to start his little club. And since it was a group of dimwit boys, you unwarrantedly became the founding mother of the club… alongside the founding father, Eddie— who, have it be noted, has zero organizational capabilities, not an ounce of time management skills, and absolutely no faith entrusted in him by any school faculty members. And for all of those reasons, that is why you were roped into this weird little club.

Eddie practically begged for you to be the one to ask the teachers to start the group. His far from perfect rep with them would have made the teachers obviously turn him down… but you on the other hand… you're liked enough, get good enough grades, and although have been tied to Eddie in numerous ways (including physically that one time when Eddie bought industrial level handcuffs, brought them to school to show off, cuffed you and him together to demonstrate, realized he lost the keys, and then you both spend the day cuffed together until Wayne got home to saw you free), you keep out of trouble for the most part. 

After a week of Eddie groveling and a few deals set between you too, you gave in. At the time, you were in your freshman year, and Eddie was promised Wayne’s old van once he got his license, so he set the deal that he would drive you to school and home everyday (which now that you're both in your senior year, it’s a promise that he has mostly held up overtime). He also promised his eternal friendship, which was already a given so that barely sweetened the deal. It’s kind of foggy at this point, being so long ago, but you’re sure he also bought you some other shit, probably stole you some beer too, because god knows you two were fiends for any alcohol back then. 

Since you had to ask to start up the club, it was your name under the club registry so it was always the drama teacher up your ass about making sure everything was cleaned properly, put away, no food left behind because of the mice… blah blah blah. So yeah… you’re practically the sole standing reason hellfire exists at Hawkins High but you don’t like to think about that… if you think too hard about it, you can’t help but cringe internally. You don’t mind their little group but you’d rather not be known as their leader— that’s all Eddie.

You knew Eddie because his dad and your dad were friends back in high school. The only difference between the two men was when your mom got pregnant with you, your dad cleaned up his life. Eddie’s dad on the other hand was the first to get a girl pregnant out of the two of them— which coincidentally happened in the same year; however, Eddie’s dad couldn’t quite give up his lifestyle. He tried for a bit, he really did, especially after Eddie’s mom skipped town, but it was just hard for him. It didn’t help when he got an injury doing some kind of labor job either. The doctors prescribed him some heavy pain medicine and that’s kind of when everything went to shit. 

As a kid you never noticed. At 8 years old, you were oblivious to the havoc being dragged through the lives of everyone around you. You thought it was all fun and games. Eddie had come and stayed with your family for a few weeks and you thought it was the best. It was like a giant sleepover, probably the closest thing you’ve ever had to a sibling. 

Then Wayne came into the picture. He was living down south, working as a truck driver. Once his brother got his sentence, he moved up, got the trailer, got a job at the plant, and started taking care of Eddie. He was a saint in the body of a mean-looking, tough talking trucker. Not really mean though, he’s a big ole softy, he just doesn’t let most people know that. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You take a step further into the drama room, not purposefully trying to eavesdrop, you just didn’t mean to interrupt their conversation so abruptly.

“I can’t do that.” Eddie says flatly.

“You can dude. There’s no way she doesn’t know already. Everyone already thinks you’re together since you touch her nonstop. Seriously. You’re like, attached to her at all times.” Gareth says.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Eddie’s always been touchy. Always. Gareth’s not wrong, he always has some part of himself connected to you, whether it’s a knee under the table or an arm around your shoulder, that’s just how he’s always been. He’s never shied away from physical touch and that’s normal for you two after all these years. He was your first hug with a boy, first hand hold with a boy, first kiss, second kiss. It’s always been innocent enough though, he’s your best friend after all, it just so happens to be that he’s a boy. Not a boy boy. Just a boy. 

At 7 years old that’s when you two had first kissed. Then again at 10.

The first time, he was making you play some stupid game where he was a knight and you were a princess and according to him, obviously the knight had to kiss the princess. The second time he wanted to ‘practice’ playing spin the bottle. It was only the two of you so you had thought it was a dumb idea but it was Summer and you had been banished from the trailer after spending the weekend blasting the TV and probably stopping Wayne from getting any rest. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Summer of 1978

Eddie had spun the bottle 27 times before it finally landed on you. 27 times. You still remember counting each failed spin, laughter getting rowdier and rowdier at your best friend's terrible luck. The 27th time, he lit up like a damn Christmas tree when the neck of the bottle finally slowed, landing point blank in your direction. You couldn’t help the laughing fit that overcame you and you had thrown yourself backwards, clenching your aching stomach, head softly hitting the dirt floor of the forest clearing you two frequented. That’s when Eddie snuck up and stole the kiss. 

You would have let him kiss you, cause that was all part of the game after all. You both had agreed on the rules before starting, but that didn’t stop your surprise when his scrawny little 11 year old body fell over yours. 

You still remember distinctly the way he had grabbed your hands to pull them away from where you were holding your stomach. He pinned them both beside your head, similar to when you’d wrestle, and he looked at you with the biggest signature Eddie Munson smirk known to man. At this point, you were stronger than him still and could have easily tossed him off but it shocked you having him so close and so quickly. It took you by surprise so much so that it knocked all the giggles from you. You just laid there, in Eddie’s hold. His smirk fell and after a moment, he dipped his face to yours, and he kissed you for the second time. 

“Gross Eddie!” You shrieked when you felt his slimy tongue harshly poking past your lower lip and into your mouth. He started to get up off you but you were embarrassed, so you pushed him making him land harshly on his butt. 

“It’s called a French kiss.” Eddie stated matter of factly, face scrunched, hands rubbing over his lower back that stung from the impact of his landing. 

“It’s disgusting and you smell like cheezies.” You say pushing yourself up from the ground and wiping his spit off your mouth. 

“It’s practice.” He huffed. “And you taste like cheezies. It’s not just me.”

“I do not!” You shrieked before hauling yourself up into a standing position ready to stomp away from him. You were already embarrassed by Eddie shocking you into silence, then him telling you that you tasted like cheezies… even at 10 years old you knew that’s not what a boy would want to taste during a kiss. 

“We ate cheezies, Strat.” Eddie said, rolling his eyes at you. 

‘Strat’ was a nickname that your dad started. He was the guitar guy, and spent a lot of time teaching you and Eddie about music since you were toddlers. Once you got old enough to actually hold a guitar, he had two that he’d let you both mess around with; a Fender Stratocaster and a Fender Jaguar. The strat was a pretty baby blue colour that you adored, so naturally, you always called dibs on it, and Eddie got the red Jag. Your dad would call you both ‘Strat’ and ‘Jag’ and unfortunately the nickname stuck for you and you only— probably because you would whine and cry about the strat if Eddie tried to steal it from you. 

At the roll of Eddie's eyes, that really set you off. You turned, stomping your feet back to the trailer park.

“Hey, I like cheezies, Strat! Don’t go!” Eddie called after you. “We’re not done playing, you still have to spin!”

“I’m telling Wayne!” You screamed, running faster to the trailer once you heard Eddie’s clumsy steps behind you. 

“No! Please, don’t!” He yelled back pleadingly, making you smile to yourself revengefully. You heard his steps quicken behind you so you sprinted, making it to the door of the trailer in record speed. 

You threw open the door, startling Wayne who was sat on the couch, and just as you were about to speak you felt Eddie’s hand clamp around your mouth from behind. 

“Edward Munson. You take your hands off that girl.” Wayne warned sternly. 

“B-but-”, Eddie began before you interrupted him by elbowing him in the stomach.

“Yeah. Hands off.” You said turning to face Eddie as he held onto his stomach. You smirked at him and he sent you pleading eyes not to tell. You weren’t going to. That never was your plan, you just wanted to see him squirm as payback for him embarrassing you. 

“Ohhhhh Wayne.” You sang. Eddie’s eyes widening, his features turning increasingly pleading for you not to tell on him. 

“What in god's name happened to you, you’re covered in dirt, missy.” Wayne said ignoring you. He stood from the couch, making his way over to you before his hands were patting at your back trying to get the dirt off. Your face fell and you couldn’t think of a response. 

“She-she… we were playing a game and-” Eddie’s pleading look stopped and his gaze dropped to the floor. You could tell he was about to rat himself out. This boy couldn’t keep one secret from Wayne…

“I fell and Eddie helped me up.” You interject. Eddie’s gaze locked into yours, eyes wide before relaxing, sending you a small smile when he realized what you were doing. 

“Her mom’s gonna kill us both, boy. You better go find her some clothes so I can throw these ones in the wash.” Wayne huffed.

Eddie ran into the trailer to his room.

“Clean clothes too, boy! Don’t give her dirty stuff!” Wayne yelled when Eddie was taking too long. 

“I know Wayne.” Eddie yelled back, voice full of attitude. 

After a few moments, he emerged, with his favourite Black Sabbath shirt that your dad bought for him for his birthday last year and a pair of plaid pajama bottoms. 

“Go change, missy.” Wayne gruffed, patting you on the back. 

Back in Eddie’s room you both sat on his floor reading his comics.

“You look pretty in that shirt.” Eddie said, interrupting the silence.

“Shut up Edward. I still don’t forgive you for trying to french kiss me.” You say, cheeks turning hot in anger, prompting you to pick up the closest discarded piece of clothing from his messy floor to throw at him. 

“I'm sorry! It was just for practice.” Eddie groaned dramatically. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Before you both reached puberty it was all hugs, holding hands, sharing seats, sharing beds, just being innocently close to each other. After puberty his touchness did simmer a bit. Albeit not much though. Eddie still barely knows what personal space is, but he’s not grabbing at your hand every second like he did when you were kids. 

“I don’t always touch her! Besides, it’s always been like that since we were kids, it’s normal.” Eddie says, focusing his attention on setting up.

“There’s nothing normal about the way you act around her.” Gareth says with a laugh. 

“Yeah. You love her.” Jeff teases. 

“And that’s the fucking problem. Thanks for really rubbing it in guys.” Eddie says exasperatedly, throwing his bag of dice onto the table carelessly. 

“Just ask her out.” Jeff says, patting Eddie on the back as he slouches down onto the table.

“Oh great idea! Strat, I fucking love you. Please, go out on a date with me and potentionally fuck up our lifelong friendship. Great idea guys. Thank you so much.” Eddie says sarcastically. 

During Eddie’s spiel he had picked up his bag of dice again. Finishing his scornful remark, he had thrown it down on the table, this time the dice falling out and skidding across the floor, most of them landing at your feet. 

All three boys turn at once, moving to pick up the dice before they spotted you. 

“Shit.” Gareth says, filling the silence of the room. 

You look at Eddie and he’s gone pale, his whole face null of expression. 

“I- Hey.” You stutter, clearing your throat. “I was just gonna drop these off.” You continue, stepping forward to place the container of cookies on the table. 

“Hey Strat.” Jeff says nervously, being the first to snap out of his surprise. “You gonna stay today?” He asks. 

“No, no… gotta help my mom with.. something.” You lie. You were gonna stay. You told the little twerps you’d stay today, but you really have to go now. 

“I swore you told Dustin at lunch that you’d stay?” Gareth says, eyes narrowing in on you. 

“No, I-”

“Hey guys! What’s up?” Grant greets excitedly as he enters the drama room.

“Hey Grant.” You smile before taking steps towards the door.

“Strat? You’re going?” He questions, brows furrowing at you. “Dustin said you were staying and that you had something for us?”

“No, I have to go. Bye guys.” You say, turning quickly before exiting the room.

“What’s up with her?” You hear Grant say to the guys from the hall. 

“Strat! Where you going?” Lucas calls from the other end of the hall. You turn briefly, still walking backwards towards the school exit. 

“Gotta go home! I left cookies for you guys in there.” You say, putting on your best cheery voice before turning and walking as fast as you can out of the school. 

Shit. Eddie was right. He can’t just ask you out. That would be ruining a lifelong friendship. He can’t do that. He can’t like you. You guys are best friends. He can’t do that to you. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

At home you flop yourself on your bed. What the fuck are you gonna do?

Nothing. 

You’re going to do nothing. 

You’re going to pretend you didn’t hear that. Eddie doesn’t like you. He doesn’t love you. He’s not ruining your friendship— you won’t let him.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You spend the weekend convincing yourself you made up the entire conversation you overheard. Eddie called 6 times since Friday evening, but you needed the time to erase whatever you overheard in the drama room from your memory. 

You spend Sunday evening contemplating if you should even take the ride from Eddie in the morning. He barely shows up Monday mornings so, who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky and won’t have to see him anyways.

You were wrong though. You decided to start your walk, and halfway there, you heard the familiar rumbling of his van approaching before slowing at your side. 

The van halts and you look over to see a fairly normal looking Eddie smiling at you. You try to muster a smile but you know it must look weird because he retracts into himself before motioning for you to get in. 

You stop, contemplating if it’s a good idea before you hear a car coming up the road that makes the decision for you. You quickly hop into the van, buckling yourself in as Eddie starts driving before the car behind him has time to honk. 

“Hey.” Eddie says.

“Hey.” You reply.

For a moment all that’s heard is the rumbling of the van engine. 

“Haven’t heard from you in a while.” He says cautiously.

“Yeah. Sorry. Was busy.” You lie. You spent the whole weekend in bed doing fuck all but thinking about the situation at large. 

“Busy?” Eddie asks. He knew you weren’t busy. You told him a few days that you had no plans. You were supposed to go over to his, but obviously that didn’t happen. 

“Yeah. Busy. My mom needed help with something.” You say, sticking with the same lie from Friday.

“Something?” He questions. Without looking at him, you can tell he's smiling.

“You’re just full of questions, aren’t you?” You say flatly, copying his same avoidant statement from Thursday night when he claimed to be helping Wayne with ‘something’. He huffs a breath out of his nose in what sounds like amusement, but you don’t think this is funny.

You don’t say more and neither does he for the rest of the ride. When you pull into the lot, you both get out before walking into the school. It’s mostly normal, except for the fact that it’s dead silent between the two of you. You don’t think it’s ever been this quiet between you.

When you see Robin, you use her as your escape.

“Robin!” You call. She turns to you and you wave at her. You start walking towards her and out of your periphery, you can see Eddie still trailing beside you. 

“Bye Eddie.” You say, stopping to turn toward him. You can’t look at him though, not in the eyes. You haven’t yet, apart from through the window of the van. 

“Bye Strat.” He says quietly.

You quickly push your way through the halls, leaving Eddie behind until you get to Robin.

“What was that?” She asks as soon as you’re close enough to hear her.

“What was what?” You question.

“What did you say to him, he looked like he was gonna cry?” Robin says furrowing her eyebrows at you.

“I just said bye?” You say.

“Just bye?” She says skeptically. You nod your head at her.

She grabs a book out of her locker, eyes still on you, clearly not believing you. 

“Steve said that those little twerps said something happened.” She says flatly. 

“Like what?” You ask hoping she has some drama that’ll take your mind off of all this.

“Something with you and Eddie.”

“Why’d they say that?” You roll your eyes.

“Cause something did happen?” She says, waiting for you to fill her in but you don’t. 

She stares at you, waiting for you to spill but truly, there’s nothing to spill. You let your eyes roam the hall, feeling awkward under her scrutinizing look before the slamming of her locker startles you. 

“You heard them talking didn’t you?” She asks.

“Heard who?” You ask and you physically feel Robin's annoyance rising. 

“Strat. Stop playing dumb.” She scolds.

“Robin. I’m not playing dumb.” You reply, sticking to your guns. It didn’t happen. You didn’t hear anything. Nothing happened. 

“Strat-” Robin starts, getting interrupted by the first bell. 

“Gotta go Robs! Good talk.” You say before bolting to home room.

You usually sit next to Eddie, but it’s fine. Nothing happened, right? Don’t need to be weird around him, right?

You cross the class to your seat at the back of the room, the spot next to you still empty. Little by little the class fills and by the time the second bell goes, you’re still left sitting alone at the back of the class. 

Halfway through the class, you’re still sitting alone. 

You try to focus on taking notes— especially now since you know you’re gonna have to teach this shit to Eddie who’s currently skipping, but you’re having a hard time focusing. 

When the teacher steps out of the class to get her forgotten worksheets from her office you lean forward in your chair, poking Jeff in the back. 

“Where is he?” You ask, when he turns.

“Seriously?” He laughs. You frown, not appreciating being laughed at right in your face. 

“Yeah. Seriously.” You reply sharply. 

“I think you know the answer to that.” Jeff says before turning forward again. 

Okay. Ouch. You always thought of Jeff as being the nicest out of the three older hellfire guys, but that was cold. 

You didn’t see Eddie for the rest of the day. Matter of fact, you didn’t see him until the next morning when he did the same thing. You had started walking and he drove up behind you, slowing, and you got in. The ride was in complete silence. Not a word or a glance. 

When you got to school, you parted ways immediately, without as much as a goodbye. Eddie didn’t show up to homeroom and Jeff didn’t look your way, not that you would have started a conversation with him after yesterday. 

You had seen Gareth and Grant walking in the hall and you waved. You know they both saw you but they kept walking, not reciprocating your wave, and it really fucking stung. 

That evening you walked home again. Alone.

The next morning, you walked the whole way to school. Alone. No Eddie in homeroom.

You were miserable. And to make matters worse, that morning, the drama teacher called you to his office over the intercom and proceeded to tear you a new one about how things were left in the drama room last Friday. You lied and said you weren’t feeling good and left things a bit of a mess, and that you were very sorry. By the end of the conversation, he was less so scolding you and more so giving you a pitiful look. Maybe you appeared as shitty as you felt, who knows, but you didn’t get detention so at least you got that win. He let you off with a warning instead but made sure to add that if it happens again this Friday, that’s it for your club.

Before lunch you set out to find the only hellfire members that you were certain would not give you the cold shoulder.

“Dustin! Mike!” You called, stopping them before they could enter the cafeteria. You really didn’t want to go in there, knowing Eddie would be there for sure. 

You jogged to catch up with them, both of them stopped right at the door. 

“Hey, do you mind doing me a favor?” You ask, trying to not seem like the shell of a person that you feel like. 

“Yeah? What’s up?” Mike replies. 

“Mr. Joels called me to his office and said if you guys leave the drama room like that again he’s gonna cancel hellfire permanently. Can you tell Eddie?”

“Can’t you tell him?” Mike says before Dustin hits him on the arm.

Dustin turns slightly, peering into the caf and your eyes follow, narrowing in on the person you’re always first to look for in a room. You feel whatever shards of a heart you have left dissolve when you see how miserable he looks too. 

“S-so can you tell him?” You stutter, trying to pull your attention away from Eddie. 

“Strat? Why didn’t you stay on Friday?” Dustin asks quietly.

“B-because.” You stutter again, feeling far too terrible to put up with any more interrogating and far too tired to keep up your lies.

“You heard him didn’t you?” He asks. Yeah. You heard him. You can’t lie to yourself anymore. You can’t pretend you didn’t. It’s not helping anyone. It’s not saving any friendship, because look at this. This isn’t preservation. 

All you can do is nod your head, eyes glued to your shoes.

“He likes you, Strat.” Dustin says. You shake your head, disagreeing. 

“He does.” Mike adds. You shake your head harder.

“No. He said he loves me.” You say, voice coming out croaky, lowering lip jetting out like you're about to cry. 

You bring the palms of your hands to your eyes, pushing until all you can see is black. You’re not about to cry in front of these freshies. You’re not. 

You hear the scuffing of their shoes on the floor before you feel a hand on your arm.

“Hey. It’s okay. Strat. Seriously, we can tell him. Don’t cry.” Dustin coos nervously, obviously not having the intent of making you teary eyed. 

“I’m not crying.” You huff, pulling your hands from your damp eyes. 

“No-yeah! You’re not crying. Don’t worry, we'll tell the guys.” Dustin says genuinely, his demeanor remaining soft yet incredibly nervous. Mike continues looking back into the caf, obviously looking for help from anybody. “So you’re not gonna sit with us?” He asks tentatively. 

You shake your head, not trusting yourself to speak. 

“Well, if you want to come back eventually, uh- we miss you.” He says. You laugh and both boys look taken aback. 

“Gareth and Grant pretended I didn’t exist when I saw them in the hall. Jeff laughed in my face when I asked about Eddie and then proceeded to give me the cold shoulder. They don’t miss me, trust me.” You say, exhaling deeply before standing up straighter, ready to end this conversation.

“We do miss you! Seriously.” Mike adds, looking nervous like it might not be the right thing to say. 

“Thanks guys.” You say, accepting their sentiments. “Tell Lucas I said hey and sorry for running off on him on Friday. And sorry to you guys too, I did say I was going to stay and then I didn’t.” You add before turning on your heels, heading off to the library without waiting for their reply. 

That evening, instead of moping in your room again, you decided to walk to family video. Making matters worse, your dad bought a new distortion pedal for his guitar and he’s been bugging you about getting Eddie to come over to check it out since Sunday. You're clean out of excuses and can’t handle him asking you again tonight, so getting out of the house seems like your best option. Robin usually doesn’t work Wednesday, which leaves Steve closing by himself. You’re not mad at Robin, you just can’t handle the interrogation.

Steve wouldn’t push you for answers like Robin would. He wouldn’t give you the cold shoulder like the other guys. He wouldn’t be the first person you’d hang out with, that of course would be Eddie but… yeah. Steve is a good friend though.

As soon as you walk into the video store you hear Steve calling your name from the register. 

“Hey! Long time no see!” He says happily.

“Yeah. How are you!” You ask, trying to return his chipper attitude but it comes out meek.

“Eh, living the dream.” He says, smiling. He rounds the counter, leaning against it, beside where you’re standing. “And what about you?” He asks, quirking a brow. 

“I’ve been better.” You say honestly. “Mind if I chill with you for a bit?” You ask, looking around the empty store.

“Not at all, in fact, I welcome it.” He laughs, his own eyes grazing the desolate isles.

You take a seat behind the counter with him, just talking about nothing. You can tell Steve’s waiting for you to bring something up though, he keeps giving you knowing looks whenever there’s a lull in conversation. 

When he turns away to help some customers you mentally give yourself a pep talk to talk about it. You’re not going to cry. 

“So… I assume the children and Robin filled you in?” You say, once Steve joins you again after the customers have left.

“That they did.” He says, smiling at you with a nod of his head.

“And?” You say, waiting for him to bombard you like Robin did.

“And what? What do I think?” He asks. You sit back, surprised by his response. 

“I guess.” You say shrugging.

“Well… you and Munson are close. Obviously. Totally and completely close. I can see why you’re like… y’know… freaked out or whatever. In denial, like Robin said.” Steve says, shrugging his shoulders, mirroring your action. 

You look up at Steve in total shock from his extremely validating answer and he just smiles back at you. 

“Don’t you think… Am I not.. in the wrong? I mean, it feels like everybody's mad at me… but like, I don’t know what to do?” You say quietly, stumbling through your thoughts.

“I don’t think you’re in the wrong. Feelings are complicated, there’s not really a right or a wrong.” Steve says genuinely, surprising you.

“Wise.” You laugh.

“Well, you know. I’ve had my fair share of feelings.” Steve laughs.

“How did you know when you- uh…” You trail off. Steve waits patiently for you to speak and you’re beyond thankful for it. “With Nancy, how’d you know?” You say, mustering you all of your courage. 

“I think that’s a little different because we weren’t close friends first, but… it’s hard to say. I guess I just really wanted to be with her, even if it was just hanging out. Thought about her like 24/7. All of that corny shit, like butterflies and blushing and feeling like you can’t breathe.” Steve says, grabbing a tape off the counter and fidgeting with it in his hands.

“Sorry for asking about Nancy.” You say, picking up his discomfort as soon as he starts playing with his hair, pushing it back over and over again.  

“Don’t worry about it, seriously.” He says, reaching a hand across and patting your knee in a friendly manner. 

“I guess, I’m just confused cause… I’ve never thought of Eddie that way, but… maybe I have?” You say, questioning yourself. 

“Hmm.” Steve hums, thinking to himself.

“Like, I feel like Eddie’s my person. He’s the only one that I want to hang out with all the time, and I always think about him… but the butterflies and all that other stuff you said, I don’t know. I feel like Eddie's just Eddie, he doesn’t make me nervous like that. 

“Well that could be because you’ve known him your whole life?” Steve gathers. “And I’m not trying to fuck with your head or anything, but you can’t say you don’t blush at stuff he does. I’ve seen it before.” Steve smiles at you genuinely.

“What?” You scrunch your face. You so do not blush because of Eddie. “When?”

“Halloween. Jonathon was taking all those photos and Eddie kissed you on the cheek for one of them. You seriously went bright as a tomato and there’s photo evidence.” Steve laughs.

You remember that night. You did blush, but you blamed it on the alcohol consumed… even though you only had half a beer at that point. You literally went hot all over and then you blamed it on not eating enough before drinking.

“Oh my god.” You say, mostly for yourself. Eddie had made you blush. He made you blush hard. 

“Am I right?” Steve says smugly. You reach across, hitting Steve on the shoulder but he swats you away with a laugh.

“I hate to say it Steve, but maybe you’re onto something.” You smile in disbelief.

“You people have no faith in me.” Steve says, faking hurt. 

All you can do is smile at him because things are finally starting to make a little more sense. 

“Well, want to keep going or are you tapping out of feelings?” Steve says, quirking his brow at you, making you laugh. 

“What are you? Dr. Harrington? PhD in love?” You joke, grabbing your own tape off the counter to fiddle with. 

“Oh yeah. Took a lot of heartbreak to get my PhD but hey, if it helps at least one person, maybe it was all worth it.” He laughs.

The conversation lulls for a moment but you quickly break it, deciding you’re not tapping out of your feelings, how could you when you’re so close to understanding?

“Do you think it’ll ruin our friendship? Like what if it doesn’t work out?” You spit out your worst fear, but it doesn’t even phase Steve.

“Well, from what I heard from Robs, how’s your friendship going right now?” Steve says cautiously with a softness to his voice.

“Horrible. I’m miserable. He looks miserable, but I haven’t really talked to him since last Thursday and even then he was acting weird.” You frown thinking about how Eddie looked in the cafeteria, slouched in his seat at the table, eyes all sad, not even talking to the guys— and Eddie is a talker, it’s not fucking normal for him not to be talking.

“Right. And you’re still confused about if you have feelings for him?” Steve asks genuinely, curious but not prying.

“I mean yeah. Like, I pictured Eddie in my life forever, but I never even considered it in that way or really any way at all. I never put much thought into it, ever.” You say honestly. 

“You don’t… you know.. think about him sexually.” Steve asks, grinning. You look down into your lap, shyly and you feel your cheeks heat but it’s an easy question you know the answer to.

“Truthfully? I always blamed it on him being so close to me. Like proximity planted all that shit in my head. And like… obviously I trust him and stuff so, like… if I thought about him like that, I always told myself it’s because I could trust him and that’s it.” You say, hiding in your hands. Steve grabs at your hands, before shooting you an amused smile. He’s so stupid, but this is fucking working, he’s actually making everything make sense. 

“So you’re attracted to him?” Steve says once your blush cools.

“Eddie’s fucking beautiful. I’ve never been shy to say that. Well, except when he was, like, going through puberty, that was scary.” You say widening your eyes, remembering how gangly and extra clumsy he was right after his growth spurt, and the awkward squeaky voice he had for an entire summer before his voice dropped. Steve laughs at you, clearly enjoying the terror that flashes over your face when you remember the first time you found his porn stash that somehow moved in right along with puberty. 

“And… correct me if I’m wrong but you’ve never had a boyfriend, right?” Steve says.

“You are correct.” You say sheepishly. 

“And why’s that?” He asks. You shrug, starting to feel nervous. 

“You don’t have to tell me. I’m not judging you for your choices, just might be helpful to think about?” Steve says softly, leaving it as an optional question with a way out if you so please.

“Yeah. I think, just… dunno. Whenever I’d think about going on a date, I’d always think about Eddie and that would kind of cut the idea short, if that makes sense? Not that I’d think about going on dates with him, just like, if I thought about going on a date it was more so, like… ‘well I usually hang out with Eddie so there’s no time’.” You ramble, nerves getting to you.

“Makes total sense. But you don’t think you associated Eddie with dating because…” Steve leads, leaving open space in his point for you to conclude.

“Because I want to date Eddie?” You say out loud, trying to piece together the puzzle that you’ve been recklessly throwing the pieces around to for far too long. 

“Once again, I’m not trying to make you think any particular way. Just helping you get to your own conclusions. Think of me as an impartial mediator.” Steve says, standing up from his spot, starting to pile some tapes back into a cart. You stand too, starting to help him since you’ve stolen so much of his time. 

“You really should consider getting a PhD or something, cause damn. Much to think about.” You laugh. “When did you get so wise.” You joke, pushing at his shoulder. 

“Yeah. Definitely would never qualify for a PhD, but thanks.” Steve laughs, placing the final VHS from the counter into the basket. “Now, want to do returns with me? Either that or we leave them for Robin tomorrow and when she chews me out I'll totally blame it on you so…” Steve says, tilting his face at you, raising his brows waiting for your response. 

“Already had Robin chew me out enough.” You smile, grabbing the return bin for Steve. 

You ended up staying with Steve until close. After he dropped you off at home, you spent the whole night thinking about everything you talked through with Dr. Harrington. 

Even after a night of contemplation, you kept thinking about it into the next day. You thought about it as you walked by yourself to school, sat through home room alone, ate lunch alone, walked home alone, and spent the evening alone. 

You like Eddie. 

It’s so fucking clear now. 

I mean, every time you’ve ever pictured your future? It’s always been with Eddie. Every dirty thought, every wet dream, every time you touched yourself, it’s always been about Eddie. You don’t go on dates and you’ve never cared to, because you have Eddie. Eddie is your person though and through. 

You don’t just like Eddie. You love him. 

And when that thought crosses your mind, you feel sick. Feels like someone is both tickling you and also absolutely bludgeoning you from the inside out. Is this what butterflies are? Holy fuck. 

When you think about Eddie spilling his guts to Jeff and Gareth in the drama room, you get that feeling and, god, is it horrible. But also… it makes you giddy?

You think about Eddie and suddenly you can’t wipe the stupid grin off your face. You think about his eyes, his nose, his stupid jokes, his laugh, and you get that fluttery feeling.

Deeper into the night you think about Eddie’s lips. You think about his hands, his arms, the way he always is touching you, the ways he could touch you, and you get a different feeling. Like a heat brewing in you. A desire, a neediness. Sure, you’ve thought things about Eddie, but never this purposefully. It makes you squirm in your bed until you get up and go grab water to cool yourself down.

You wake up befuddled with feelings. Like Steve was a fucking train conductor and you just got run over. 

It doesn’t help that you remembered that you kind of fucked this up already. It’s Friday. It’s been a whole week since you overheard him. 

It’s barely been 24 hours of you feeling so full of feelings. If Eddie was sure enough to admit he loved you to the guys, how long has he been feeling like this? If he’s felt anywhere near the way you feel now, he must have been drowning. And you were just letting him. And now, you’ve made him go a week, knowing that you know that he loves you, and you just went awol. 

Your mind goes to what he said in the drama room. 

“She’s killing me.” 

You’ve been killing him. It didn’t make sense at first, but now it does. It makes perfect sense and it took you until 5PM on Friday night to understand it after a long day of skipping school, laying in bed, and stress baking. And you need to stop it. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

ty <3

[bloodmaarked]

book of night // holly black

first published: 2022 read: 24 march 2025 - 18 april 2025 pages: 306 format: hardback (+audiobook)

genres: fiction; adult (just about); fantasy (urban); mystery favourite character(s): i didn't really like anyone... maybe vince? least favourite character(s): charlie, lowkey first line(s): "any child can be chased by their shadow. all they need to do is run straight toward the sun on a lazy afternoon."

rating: 🌕🌕🌗🌑🌑 thoughts: soooo... this can't be the same holly black that wrote the folk of the air trilogy, right? the author that kept me in a chokehold for three books straight couldn't turn around and produce something so dull and lifeless could she? well apparently she could, and she did. book of night was disappointing on most fronts, and i would have DNFed this very early on if i hadn't been reading this for a reading challenge. i even turned to the audiobook to help me get through this while doing other, more entertaining things, which is how i know for sure that this was a slog.

i read the first 22% of this in one sitting and was unmoved. it was fine, but slow and certainly not what i'd call engaging. it got to the point where i didn't pick it up again for 3 whole weeks; the thought of having to return to it was really off-putting, and when i did finally pick it up i felt like i wanted to do anything but. i read the next 60% by audiobook, which is incredibly rare for me to do, but it meant i could continue reading this book without having to give it my undivided attention - i could crochet, cook, or commute, without feeling bogged down by the slog of putting eyes to paper. the pacing did not pick improve throughout the length of the book, and even in audio form i felt like this story dragged badly, but it made it easier to consume. i don't like audiobooks, and i enjoy giving a book my full attention, so turning to one as a way to keep me reading is suuuuch a red flag!

aside from the pacing, the world building was lacking for me. i found it hard to get my head around what exactly the shadow system was how it worked, and who people were (i'm still only semi-sure of what a gloamist is). i ended up intuiting far more information than i'd have liked. there were a lot of moving parts, which can be fun, but there was too much i felt in the dark about which meant it leaned more on the side of confusion than intrigue.

the characters were so dull and lifeless. i didn't care about any of them, except maybe vince at a push because he actually had some interesting development in the last 75% or so. charlie was a really bland main character, and i kind of cringed at how she was written. she was supposed to be the resident bad girl i guess, but she fell flat and read like she was all bark and no bite. posey was blah. the myriad other characters were forgettable.

i did like the atmosphere; it was a nicely written dark, urban fantasy which could've been great if there was the plot and characterisation to boost it. a book can't rely on atmosphere alone, though.

i definitely won't be picking up the sequel, which releases later this year. book of night was a book i wish i could've abandoned. in all honesty, i'm not sure if holly black is an author i'll bother going back to again. i loved the folk of the air, but was disappointed by the stolen heir, and now this. it seems like it's time for me to move on.

[rosalesbeausderholle]

Girls I have an update on the cringe books I was talking about on this post

I'm reading book 3 rn (yes I can't help it it's like being unable to take my eyes off a plane crash) and I never thought I cringe so fucking hard from something as I did this past scene.

The love interests in this book are a woman who has a lot of one night stands but doesn't want to commit to anything serious bc of bad past experience blah blah and another woman who just broke up with her long time ex and has MAJOR social anxiety but is forced by her friends to try a one night stand.

Now, I was already in disbelief when these two meet at a bar and the woman ridden with anxiety somehow manages to "charm" (read: stutter her way through an introduction) a hotter much more experienced in one night stands woman enough that they go to her apartment together to have sex. But ok, escapist fantasy where social anxiety = rizz. Whatever.

But then, when they were taking their clothes off Miss Social Anxiety got so nervous SHE VOMITS on top of the other woman and the floor. Let me reiterate: she VOMITS. PUKES. THROWS UP.

And not only does the other woman not run away screaming (which would be the reasonable reaction). She... cleans it? And tucks the sobbing anxious vomitter into bed before leaving?? (They're both 28 to 32 by the way!!!)

Like, this is the main couple of the book. Later on they'll have steamy scenes how am i supposed to believe these two characters can even talk to one another after this?? Hello??

[firefullofblood]

Soooo... Welcome to my blog, this is my officially main blog about anything I wanna post about.

Names I use: Benjamin, Sheldon, Jeff, Tate

I'm using he/him pronouns

Arospec(Myrromantic) & bisexual ftm

+ uniromantic

I'm polytherian and otherkin or whatever...

I am a part of a lot of fandoms... Blah blah blah

POSTING

I'm gonna definitely post about some interests of mine like animals, nature, books, planes, music, guns, painting and drawing, vintage and more.

I also have an interest in taxidermy, anatomy, true crime and collecting stuff ( especially bones and feathers), also love vinyl records and 1920/30's, might post about it too.

This blog is mainly for my otherkin and therian stuff, but also my personal life and interest, art etc etc.

I'm not NSFW but I might post some more mature stuff

Imma post looooot of music related stuff

My theriotypes

Grey ( timber brownish ) wolf

Fallow deer

Ichthyosaur

elk

+ spitirual connection to fox and domestic dog (possibly theriotype)

MY MAINLY ANIMAL THERIAN BLOG : @waterfullofbubless

I have a NSFW blog, but I won't put it here

My kins

Tate Langdon

BEN Drowned

John Watson (not close kin to me)

Millard Nullings

Tom Riddle (before full Voldemort era)

...

Also past life: Jack McGurn

Just wanna say BC of this... I'm not a violent person towards others and I don't commit hateful crimes, thx.

If you wanna talk to me I'm always down for it ( might sound a bit cold from start, but I don't mean it bad)

I'm a satanist who's into witchcraft a bit sooo...be respectful ( I respect every religion)

Don't forget to check my webtoon comic Instagram account Space.fulloffire

What I personally don't support:

Transphobia

Homophobia

Practicing harmful paraphilias

Racism

Hate towards furries or therians etc

Hate towards people for something that can't change when they don't do anything bad

What I don't vibe with but I RESPECT ( don't be mean and just respect me back). It's just stuff I might not talk best about, BUT I respect y'all if you show me respect back:

BTS "army" & Swifties ( idm fans in general but... If you know you know)

SHARK or SNAKE HATERS ( just don't be rude lol)

Haters of non violent satanism ( just don't be mean ig)

People who think liking taxidermy is weird

People who are huge K-pop fans ( respect just... I'm not a fan so don't be rude about it)

People who are like: "name three songs and band members" ( I'll respect y'all...but honestly tf)

DNI:

people who are toxic BTS and Taylor Swift fans

Toxic Christians ( you know which I'm talking about)

Homophobes

Transphobes

Anti furries and therians

People who are under 13 years old or over 40 years old

People who have harmful paraphilias who are practicing

People who wanna s*x text me

People who think therianthropy is cringe ( duh)

People who are anti any alt style

....

DO NOT INTERACT WITH COMMENTS OR DON'T REBLOG IF YOU'RE EXPLICIT NFSW ACCOUNT ( pictures with sexual nature)

Oh btw, please DO NOT flirt with me, I have a boyfriend and I love him with every single drop of blood in my body.

♪MUSIC BONUS♪:

Some of my favourite genres:

Rock

POV: indie

Pop

Alternative metal

Modern rock

Pop punk

Punk

Post-Grunge

Nu metal

Permanent wave

Scenecore

Jazz

Electro swing

Classic rock

Rap

Pixie

Otacore

Show tunes

Etc.

SOME of my favourite bands/ artists etc:

My chemical romance

Joost

Queen

Nirvana

Mindless self indulgence

The cure

Cavetown

Set it off

Jack Stauber's micropop

Tally hall

Dean Martin

Lady gaga ofc

Voodoo church

Breaking Benjamin

Get scared

....

I guess that's all for a "music window"

thanks for reading this lol

[lost-inanotherlife]

Lost Rewatch S3 - Random Thoughts

As I've stated before, in stops and starts season 3 was quite cringe-y. Of course, we're still navigating high-quality storytelling waters but you know there's something a little wrong when writers admit to being in shortage of creative ideas by episode NINE (the much-talked about "Stanger in a Strange Land"). As a result this post might sound a bit S3-negative although, as I've just said, I'd never question the writers' command of the narrative. It's just that some stuff didn't really work out for me this time, that's all. I'll sprinkle-sprinkle some positivity too 'cause this season gave us all some mind-blowingly intense and beautiful moments, too. We can never forget those.

Starting off strong with our lovingly island-made love triangle: Jack/Kate/Sawyer that's not so slowly becoming a love square. Not a fan of how Kate and Sawyer got together, I'll be honest. Yes, the trauma of being kidnapped, forced to haul rocks and live in cages makes a human do crazier things, still... They put on a pretty dress on Kate and all of a sudden everybody goes "woa" (very 90's "chick flicks", didn't they have EYES before?), Sawyer is smashing rocks under the sun, sweating his own weight off but can't seem to resist the urge to look at her ass and kiss her, Kate herself is working her ass off (sorry for the pun, couldn't resist haha) and, well, the shots very much highligthed that by focusing on her ass... Guys, it was cringe to watch. And yes, the kiss was a distraction and blah, blah, blah. Again: cringe. All of a sudden Kate's madly in love with Sawyer which, you know, I'd have dug if they'd continued to show how their flirty relationship evolved instead of going from their sarcastic banters to extreme "I love yous" desperately screamed at gun point. Same goes for Jack by the way: for most of S2 Jack and Kate are on looser terms compared to the closeness of S1. after their kiss Kate's way closer to Sawyer because she chose him. Jack and Kate are not together and don't speak very much for, possibly, the whole duration of s3 and all of a sudden Jack's all "I love you". I don't see the crescendo of this love, therefore I don't fully buy it. Not gonna lie, the scenes were beautiful and very well-acted but these guys have spent weeks without talking to each other lol. They did the same exact thing in S2 as I've said before and I didn't particularly enjoy it in S2 so it's not like I wasn't gonna see it repeating itself in S3.

The majority of the flashbacks shown in this season are... how can I put it? Not au pair with the usual Lost-esque quality. Particularly not excellent, let's say, were the already mentioned "Stranger in a Strange Land", "Enter 77" and "I Do". Also, please but Desmond's and Kate's wigs in their flahsbacks are plain awful. Please stop.

Conversely, "Left Behind" was a fucking good flashback story. Kate-centric episodes are either meh or extremely good for me. I think she's one of those characters that when you find the right vein to write her, you write an incredbily layered, unbelievably complex character. When you don't, her character feels quite flat and it's a pity.

I might be in love with Juliet?! When I watched S3 for the first time in 2007 I deeply disliked her. Maybe I was too young to appreciate her character, she's not a clear-cut archetype like the other main characters are: more lived life helped me understand her better and now I'm deeply in love with her. I love how you can never predict what her little cute smirk means, she's a bit of a mystery but, unlike Kate, she's as such not because she has something to hide from her past (at least until now lol): she's enigmatic because that's who she is, she's very "torn-in-two" character. Love it.

I'm not liking all these dead women on my screen. Locke couldn't kill his father, couldn't kill Jack but he could sure as hell plant a knife in Naomi's back. The two persons guarding the submarine hatch had to be women and they had to die, didn't they? Of course, the mothers are dying on the island, of course the mob in "The Cost of Living" had to shoot just a woman, of course Bea Klugh had to be killed by Mikhail, of course "Tricia Tanaka is Dead". I was quite growing fond of Tom and was saddened by his death but I ultimately think that if they kept sparing white guys while killing off women and black people in general in the blink of an eye they'd have a real problem. Well, as a matter of fact they still do. They should've done better.

John's "shamanic journey" in "Further Instructions" is very offensive. Shamanic practices are serious things that must be done seriously. But hey, here's our "connected-with-the-island-lazarus-rising" white old man, let's have him enter a sweat lodge, prepare a slop of something so that he can have a vision and resolve this knot in the plot. No, thank you.

I don't agree with people bashing on "Exposé": I think it's a good episode. In fact, I appreciated the Other Losties' POV (Arzt you won't be forgotten!). The real problem is that it's just that: other, plot-unrelated people's pov, nothing really new was added and the characters were eventually killed off so what's the point lol? What I want to say is that it's a good filler episode and I enjoyed it but at this point in the series, filler ep for filler ep, I'd have preferred one that was "-centric" to one or more of the main characters. But hey, I get what I can and, all in all, good ep.

Now, I know that one of the main themes of this season is the impossibility of going back: it was very artfully written to lead us to the season finale's big reveal. Fine, good, intellectually I love it. Instinctually when in a story I see characters going from point A to B and then going back to point A in the span of the same episode or the following I... well, I don't take it well lol. It's a pet peeve of mine, really, but COME ON. It's a way to milk a narrative thread for all its worth. It's a way to buy narrative time without resorting to fillers. But sometimes you just need to let it go and come up with a better idea presto. I'm talking about Kate going back to find Jack as soon as she arrives at the beach. How in hell did Kate know that Jack was on the main island and not still on Hydra? And how did John connect the dots between the writing on Eko's stick and Jack's whereabouts? And why did the Others just leave their barracks, in which they had lived for years, instead of just killing Kate, Sayid and John? Come on. These guys have killed for way less.

The best fucking line of the whole season is Charlie's: "It's the five best moments of my… sorry excuse for a life. My greatest hits. You know, memories. They're all I've got." Chills, literal chills.

"Flash Before Your Eyes" is a totally cringe episode. Everything feels exactly what it is: a set, a prop, a wig on the actor's head, lol. Twenty years ago I was still a naive girl fangirling over Desmond and Penny's relationship but now I know better. Des was a lot of a dick toward Penny, let's be real. He was obsessed with this "honor", with feeling "worthy" and totally took it out on her. She was right, he was indeed a coward. I wish they had given a different backstory to Des. Maybe it's because it's so similar to (re it's the same as) Jin and Sun's story but it didn't land for me this time. I don't see the same "epicness" in their love story that I'd first seen back in the 00'.

Eko's "Redemption-Not-Redemption" arc is the best thing of this season. I have no words to describe it so I'll just leave his final speech here. INCREDIBLE.

I ask for no forgiveness, Father. For I have not sinned. I have only done what I needed to do to survive. A small boy once asked me if I was a bad man. If I could answer him now, I would tell him that... when I was a young boy, I killed a man to save my brother's life. I am not sorry for this. I am proud of this. I did not ask for the life that I was given. But it was given, nonetheless. And with it... I did my best.

[awarnesstv]

I do not believe in the law of assumption.

I wanted to make this clear.

Why do I not believe it?

First of all: an assumption is a belief you have without proof, what people often forget is that assumptions are often biased and wrong.

Well, the reasons are many. I'm gonna list a few: it makes no sense, it doesn't actually work the way people say it does, it has a very culty type of fan base, confirmation bias and internet liars, victim blaming, encourages toxic behaviour (with the sole excuse of, it's your reality, do whatever you want).

Is it completely useless?

No, a good chunk of it is actually applying real life things that have already been proven to help and have long term benefits, like affirmations, ambition towards reaching goals and positive self talk.

Another thing I don't like is the encouragement of the ideology that everything is just gonna get handed to you because you want it without you needing to do anything (which is also false because in those same success stories you'll have people mention that they did in fact take action , like you didn't manifest a scholarship, you applied, you didn't manifest that purse you wanted , you made it clear to your friends and family that you wanted it and they bought it... ) these examples work only if you see manifestation as something "magical/illogical" and not as an actual/tangible process.

I don't really care much about what people in these communities do to be honest. I just think it's important to have people use their critical thinking skills.

Like, no. You don't have to force yourself to believe in something that makes no sense to you. You don't have to blame yourself for having a shitty life because some rando on the internet said you manifested everything in your life.

Also I sometimes cringe at some posts. Like these people claim to have the ability to get anything they want instantly but their main concern is getting back with their ex who cheated 3 times?... Ok.

At the end of the day you can believe what you want but ... You know what, I suggest you guys watch this YouTube video. It will show you that belief/acting as if...blah blah blah...is clearly not enough to manifest whatever you want and how it can be harmful (we've seen it with cults, religions ...I think it's time people become more aware), it's not about loa itself, (though I think the YouTuber has a video on the law of attraction ) but it really drives my last point home.

[lilythecaattt]

(A pile of not-so-random Shelly’s World AU Lore bc yes :3)

When you want to ramble about something, but don’t have something to ramble about, but suddenly have an idea as you’re typing:

(Click below if you wanna be psychically whiplashed by my wall of text over my silly AU’s version of Dandy :3)

HELLO UNFORTUNATE SOUL, I will now give you just as you signed up for:

So.. Dandy, the goober I love and hate equally for his shop, and for the fandoms pressure to hate him…

…But let’s ignore all that for a second:

(!POSSIBLE TW!: Wall of text, Aka an Essay, Misspellings, AU nonsense, Cring, Very slightly-hinted Moonflower, Trauma, *Maybe* body horror?… Yeye 😎)

(^Take the tags with salt, and concern. You will be just as surprised as me which of these is a joke and which isn’t. Hahah…)

This mostly talks about the other Mains, and less of Sprout or Cosmo… They’re still mentioned. BUT THIS IS DANDY-CENTRIC. With some Astro & Shelly too.

Also this might be like, a 15-20-ish minute read? Not sure…

But if you need writing ideas? Maybe this can inspire you?

Now, let’s get straight into some (hopefully brief) detail on this specific Shelly’s World AU: Shelly has her own Show, because Gardenview was renovated before Dandy was even reintroduced—BUT that does not mean he wasn’t.. around, in some shape or form.

The totally-very-secret SW!Dandicus Dancifer Lore… Or at least what I’ve taped together:

What does that mean?: He kind of just watched from a distance, for a while, at least. He never showed himself to the other Toons, and mostly stayed in the lower, more abandoned parts of the Centre. *At first, anyways… This is the past of the AU, but not the far past.*

Blah blah blah… Dandy is caught sneaking around with Astro one day, Vee notices Dandy’s not-very-good “disguise”, and the Toons find out because Vee is a nosey *bot* with a love for yapping with (some specific) other Toons. Also Vee HATED him at that time—as all the Toons knew were rumors on what happened with Dandy. (Most of them were bad)

Shelly, Sprout and Cosmo stayed neutral, kind of ignoring it… But Vee kept pressing them to not ignore it, so they started getting annoyed by her. (Them ignoring her, lead her to become a bit desperate for attention, so she started bothering Shelly and Astro all the more) (Suddenly that “LOOK AT ME” popup has another meaning… ;-;)

Once Astro and Dandy had realized the secret was out, one of the people in charge of the Toons offered to reintroduce Dandy, since it wasn’t very safe to ignore that he’d been wandering unmaintained parts of the Centre… After Astro pushed Dandy a bit, Dandy agreed, and he was reintroduced. The other Toons were told what was found out during investigations and questioning. So basically they (“they” as in, the people working there or whatever) interrogated Dandy, and anyone else they could, to figure out what had happened with ✨Delilah✨ behind the scenes. (In secret, Astro and Shelly were also questioned…)

So yeah they heard Dandy was manipulated (mostly via threats) by Delilah, but most Toons didn’t care for the extra information… Either because they still believed Dandy was the bad guy, or because they believed the opposite to begin with.

For a long time, Dandy stayed closed-off to the other Mains—Aside from Astro, because Astro was actually the one keeping him sane despite the loneliness in the basement lower-parts of the Centre—but a few Toons still went to talk with him. (Those being more the ones neutral about the “controversy”—such as Boxten, Connie, and also Finn.)

So.. with almost everyone hating Dandy, what could have possibly happened to make that change?:

✨CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!✨ Yippee hurray everything is fine now because Dandy apologized for being horrible—

…Dang, knowing I’m gonna post this makes me nervous… Even though people prob would have stopped reading if they weren’t interested.

Put on Dandy’s theoretically-existent shoes: Everybody hate you, or is scared of you. They go silent when you walk in a room.

You only have one close friend, and this crazy robot girl is getting far too clingy with them. What do you do?

You start pushing back, of course! And who would be the priority target, for being one of the biggest haters? Well yes, Vee, but also; Shrimpo. Now, why Shrimpo? Because the minute he genuinely cares to try and destroy someone, even a Toon as seemingly-‘dumb’ as him can (try) and do a lot of damage. (*COUGH COUGH* Looey and the thumbtacks *COUGH*)

Now, if you’ve read my Sprout RP Blog’s Bio, you may know about the Cloned Toons—or, “Cousins” as the Toons are told to call them. Well, some of those Cloned-Toons also have a fierce hatred for Dandy. One of them, being a Glisten Clone.

Long story short: Dandy gets into a gossip-wars with a Glisten clone trying to ruin each others already nonexistent reputations, while simultaneously trying to avoid being dunked or drowned in weed-killed by Shrimpo.

Humorous comedy for Cartoon characters, nothing that serious, right?.. Wrong. Because Astro catches Dandy trying to flippin’ kidnap both of them on a whim to get “revenge” and gets mad at all of them because the whole thing only stressed Astro out.

Astro turns out to be the one snitching on them, all three of them get in trouble, and Astro locks himself in a room because Toons were gossiping about him and asking him things that they thought were true. (They assumed Astro was a traitor, who helped Dandy in secret, and that’s why he was so quiet… Or that he was helping Dandy by giving him ideas to “take revenge” on the Toons that hated him… Idk smth like that.)

It had gone on for a little over a month before Astro got them in trouble for it.

Afterwards, Astro locked himself in his room. So Dandy ended up becoming roomates with Shelly. (…because he used to be roommate’s with Astro, since the other Mains didn’t want him around them… but with the drama, having him there only stressed Astro out more.)

Also Dandy was grounded for like, a month in the corner of Shelly’s Room, because of the fighting with other Toons.

As for how Shelly felt about this?:

Well surprisingly, while nervous at first, she saw how Pebble (who was staying in her room, even after Dandy had been reintroduced) wasn’t bothered by Dandy, even after what happened. Trusting Pebble’s instincts, she started talking with Dandy sometimes, and convinced him to try and make it up to other Toons once he was ungrounded. (Shelly is also the reason Dandy started journaling more :>)

While it took a while, he started to slowly build trust again with other Toons. He and the Glisten Clone made a silent-agreement to not bother each other, and Shrimpo… Is Shrimpo and didn’t really change that much.

As for Vee?

Dandy used her connection with Brightney to slowly start getting her to at least tolerate his presence. Later, while being maintained, her Handler noticed some programming that was messing up Vee making her overreact a bit to things, and fixed it. THOUGH her extreme reactions weren’t only because of that…

Eventually she started talking with Dandy a bit, rather than having him approach her. After one evening having a long talk in the Greenhouse, she started to be less harsh towards Dandy… From there, even other Toons were surprised by how her view of Dandy changed.

But then… WHAT ABOUT SPROUT SEEDLY?

Well Cosmo was always pretty chill with Dandy, even having given Dandy some ideas to get the other Toons to trust him. Sprout wouldn’t talk much with Dandy for a while, but would encourage him to continue trying to make things right with the other Toons.

It wasn’t until later that he heard from Vee a bit about what really happened with Dandy… He later had his own talk with the flower after hearing about it.

Pretty much, with all the Toons (especially the Mains), one at a time they slowly grew to not be that bothered by him. None of what they saw or heard during that time in the past, was who he really was…

(*Edit: Or was it?)

What about Deli-

HECK NAWH I AINT GETTING INTO HER IVE BEEN WRITING FOR AN HOUR

What about Astroke?

Dandy eventually started slipping letters under his door, talking about things.. how Shelly suggested him to make things right… And Astro one day slipped a letter back under the door when Dandy went to give him one. From there they slowly started having whole conversations through notes, and… Well, the rest is history. Astro eventually started leaving his room again, and surprisingly the other Toons were really happy about that.

HEHEHE YOU’VE READ THIS FAR BETTER FOLLOW MY ACCOUNT LOL… Person that hopefully exists. AHEM ANYWAY-

Friendship! Everything is good and chill now!… They’re friends again, what other problem could possibly exist?…

…Dear reader—this is the tip of the Iceberg. (Please help me I’ve been taken PRISONER BY THIS-

Thank you for reading!

I could write whole stories on these ideas! So many points in Time I could write about!… AHH BUT I DOUBT IF ANYONE WOULD EVEN READ IT!

But hey, the point in writing something you’re passionate about—is for you. Isn’t it? You can share with your friends, share it online, no one has to look at it—heck, maybe that’s for the better—but there’s no point writing if it’s only for someone else.

Again, if anyone sees my ✨echoing into the void,✨ thank you for reading. I hope this gives you ideas for your own works, at the very least! :D

[mywitchcultblr]

OMG I love Yaoshi and the path of abundance too! I suppose I just have a thing for misunderstood healers

Just in case this is not me shitting on people's favorite xianzhou husbando or waifu, go simp as much you want, go pull for their banners, this is not an attack on any xiaznhou blogs here or blah blah, nor am I saying "Ahhhh all the xianzhou are irredeemable evilz" whatever, but merely an analysis and critique of HSR narrative:

I hate how abundance is treated in HSR so far, I know all factions in HSR are grey but feels like the xianzhou doesnt get called out enough like the IPC does despite the atrocities they committed and there are arguments in the story telling "oh but the followers of abundance did this and that and OH Yaoshi blesssing are ruining planets" "followers of abundance are monsters and abomination anyway so who cares"

Sure you can argue that just a part of the grey narrative, but I have a feeling so far those arguments against Yaoshi and their followers are used to make the xianzhou more palatable to sell the banner and because space china cannot looks bad or else hardcore main land fans and the CCP government will be angry.

I know abundance followers are not perfect, there's no factions in HSR who are morally pure, but the narrative so far is so imbalanced to the point people on reddit thought Yaoshi and their followers are nothing but evil troublemakers who must be weeded out (fuck reddit seriously its full of moronic edgelord with the worst takes)

Also FYI just because the xianzhou are not happy after they got immortality, doesnt mean other yaoshi immortals followers are unhappy with their life or their planet suffering. In fact the food and water became ever replenish and I'll do anything to get that blessing

I'm not saying everyone in the xianzhou are evil no, but the narrative is so imbalanced and they dont get called out enough. Dan Shu diary can be missed and she ended up as a cartoonish villain.

And I legit cringed so bad when Loucha is called 'abomination of yaoshi' despite the fact he is sentient

And when there are condemnation of Xianzhou/Lan actions, its all hidden behind text that you might missed easily. So its kinda like brushed them under a rug???

While the IPC atrocities are showed blatantly with Boothill story

Herta log mentioned a peaceful snake people who are blessed by Yaoshi but Lan KILLED ALL OF THEM just because yaoshi blessed them and this fact is not told directly but hidden behind a text.

Hoyo write themselves into a corner with the xianzhou, the basis of their faction story telling is grey to dark but they (so far) cannot portray the xianzhou as villainous or in a more honest way that will make this faction, obviously not honourable or good guys right?

Like this faction is actually more grey more darker but a lot of fans doesnt seems to grasp it? And I have seen some of them acted SHOCKED when I pointed that nah... Xianzhou is not morally good faction. (0 factions in HSR are morally good and pure) Because hoyo fans are notorious for their lack of reading comprehensions and this faction is portrayed as very favourable rn, because like i said china coded country cannot looks bad *rolls eyes*

You can't have your cake and want to eat it too.

Hoyo should have made the Xianzhou a chill, neutral faction like Liyue. I legit quit HSR during boothill banner, after I pulled him and find out another world is yet another xianzhou ship I just... Give up.

Not necessarily because I think everything will be awful or all xianzhou are irredeemable but like... I can't stand the narrative imbalance anymore and as Yaoshi simp I just can't stand it no more.

Maybe I'll return in version 10.0 when we finally see Yaoshi planet but if hoyo still paint Yaoshi and their followers as 'EvIL whO ShoULD be RIghtFULLy EraDICATed" I will fucking boycott Hoyo

I had a philosophical awakening because of yaoshi as well, that led to "yeah i dont think immortality is bad, and if there's a way for me to get it i will take the pill of eternal life" so yeah there's that