#thanks to them i got into politics... i learned english by translating their songs 10 years ago....

[yohankang]

just came back from the most fun concert in my life!!!

[uelden]

Vanity Fair interview translated

Just a side note before the actual translation; I don't know why, but instead of reporting the full questions and answers in full as she should, the journalist decided to report only summarized fragments of what Måneskin said and patch these fragments up into messy clusters. She also worded a couple phrases in a very confusing way (and yes, she's fully Italian). In short, she did quite a poor job, so the final shape of the interview is not that good. I didn't expect top-tier journalism from Vanity Fair but ffs. You'll see what I mean.

I translated it as it is, adding just a couple footnotes to give you insight on Italian pop culture references.

Translation under the cut

Måneskin: "Different from whom?"

by Lavinia Farnese, 09 June 2021

"True justice is being judged for what you do and not for what you are." The ones who are convinced of this are Damiano, Victoria, Ethan and Thomas who, by being the emblem of a generation that is finally free, refuse labels and conformism. In life, in love and on the stage. Where, maybe precisely because of this, they're winning everything

With the still unexpected (first place at Sanremo Festival) and the incredible (triumph at Eurovision) in their eyes, Måneskin are on the sofa of the house-studio they rented - to resume writing songs and rehearsing them - like you are after a won battle: lying in a calm and unreal silence, alert and a bit irreverent, happy.

In the garden there's the tennis table and the pool, the light of summer when it's starting and calming the country all around, and it filters inside from the large windows, and it goes onto the shining black of Ethan's hair, which blends with Thomas' eye shadow and the butterfly he has tattooed oh his naked forearm, which completes the picture of Victoria's golden crucifix hanging between neck and tank top and ends on the black nail polish of Damiano's stretched hands.

It's a human fresco, a Theatre of wrath [translator's note: "Teatro d'ira"] - to call it with the title of their latest album, a platinum record already - where their flaunted 20 years of age, their irregular femininity and virility are grown into proud and challenging custom, a pop glam rock generational manifesto of hard-earned liberties in a finally-unconditional expression of the self.

To watch them from any angle and from another age is to think that a great love will be born in those who'll understand: this new way of being in the world, the true and sovereign realm they hold where "diversity=exceptionality", the power of the artistic and cultural revolution of which they are healthy carriers in establishing in all lyrics and gestures the right to live according to one's own nature past the "people (who) talk, the people (who) unfortunately talk, and don't know what the fuck they're talking about." [tn: "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

We go where we're afloat, where the air isn't gone. [tn: journalist's own variation on "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

Miley Cyrus says hi – The numbers of a phenomenon

"The streams of Zitti e buoni are growing by the second, and they bring us above Muse, at the top of English charts, twelfth in the Spotify Global Chart. Followers almost tripled, in the post-Rotterdam period (from 1,4 to 3,3 millions, ed.) Contagious and universal folly: t-shirts and merchandising sold out in 10 minutes. Like the records, the tickets for a tour that keeps adding dates and expanding over geographic maps. They're contacting us even from some festivals were The Rolling Stones went." Thomas

"After the pretextual controversy over cocaine that France built against us, later disproven by my drug test, some graffiti popped up in Spain depicting me as a “No drugs” poster guy. Some tweets made us laugh: "Congratulations, Italy! I've never been more certain that four people have had sex with each other." Miley Cyrus started following us -You're great. -You guys are greater." Damiano

From the garage to the stars – Story of a flight

"It was only 2016, and we played in restaurants, in the streets, in via del Corso. Damiano without even a microphone, Thomas' guitar with wonky strings, Ethan was drumming on a cajón. During Rome highschools' sit-ins (Kennedy, Virgilio, Mamiani) we had our first confirmations and half-hours of celebrity, playing among those who criticized us and those who went "wow they're really cool." One of the rare times when they would have paid us – 50 euros each – we gave the money to the next band in the lineup so that they would make us play in their spot, later in the day, when there would have been more people. We had already realized how things worked. Visibility mattered more than money. And we still think that." Victoria

The intimacy of rock – Choice of a genre

"Music allows us the miracle of extending to others some very personal and private topics, sometimes even difficult and thorny ones. They are and they remain deeply your own, but at the same time they become a confession that reaches a wider audience, and in this passage that is alike a delivery, they find a place in you as well, a processing of them. You overcome them, you accept them. One second it's something aggressive, the next it's a ballad. Cathartic». Damiano

Against panic – The stage as therapy

"I've suffered a lot from anxiety and panic attacks, it's an issue I've worked on thanks to a psychotherapy course, my friends and my family. Playing helped me in not letting myself be paralyzed by my fears, not making myself limited in my private and professional life. I've learned to accept, to live with this side of myself. I don't hide it. I don't feel ashamed of it." Victoria

Analysis as necessity – Relying on someone saves you

"This belief that only madmen go to the psychologist is a widespread ignorance. No-one's born learned. [tn: common Italian saying] And it's often hard to understand the very reason why we're here, let alone the origin and direction of our desires. It's a long and legitimate journey towards lucidity, a kind of backing to become transparent." Damiano

Being out of our minds – But different from them [tn: "Zitti e buoni" lyrics]

"When you feel a strong passion towards something that is not a canonical job but an artistic language, that already puts you on a level of anomaly, which is not superior or inferior to other people, but it puts you in the position of the one who breaks the mold and also works at a loss, the one who sustains great risks while trying to do something that who knows if it will take you anywhere. "Why do it if it doesn't pay?". You want to give this dream of yours an aesthetic, but it becomes "You're dressing so weird! You must be gay!" - now that I'm 22 I laugh about it, but when I was 17 it had an effect on me, too." Damiano

The beauty of uniqueness – Of believing in it and defending it

"And I mean, at the end of the day if we're all different it's not because we want be alternative but because, really, no-one is the same. Justice is being judged on what you do and not what you are. Justice is equality, respect, beauty." Ethan

Fluid sexuality – Pride is freedom

"Heels for men that like themselves in them, kisses among ourselves, we have an open, extended mind, and we're proud of it. The horizons become vast, past the oppression of conservative families. With the information on the web knowledge becomes greater and with it the possibility that minorities will be less and less minorities, because the majority will be less of a majority. This way we'll make insults and bullying grow quieter. If social media get to a village of 50 souls and reveal to a girl who's afraid of the dark that someone has felt her same fear, then there's no reason to give a name to that fear, to mark it with labels which also limit and restrict. Definitions always had this effect on me. You shouldn't even consider the gender when judging someone, let alone their orientation." Victoria

Sexism – A culture to be dismantled

"Emma [tn: Emma Marrone, Italian singer] drops the bomb: “At Eurovision when I was there they massacred me for a pair of shorts, while they said nothing to Damiano – bare-chested and in heels.” The easy judgment against women is more fierce, constant, debasing (if I have a lot of sex I'm cool while Vic is a whore, where I show myself strong I'm a leader while Vic is despotic and a pain in the ass who reached success because she's hot.) As a male I'm privileged, the abuse I get is not comparable to those a woman has to live through, the comments over my aesthetic are centered only on my aesthetic and don't insinuate anything about my professionalism and my competence, while women are victims of this kind of thought in a systematic way. It happened though to find myself standing with a woman who while pulling me to herself to take a selfie, started licking my face out of the blue... I mean, what the hell do you want? Who asked you? Consent exists, and it's due." Damiano

Grow yourself – The only commandment

"To me conformism is the opposite of education [tn: could also mean "politeness"] and is the asphyxia of expression. I fortunately never endured heavy bullying, heavy enough for the the judgement of others to change me. But the mold of the small crumbs of bullying I got and of the kind of aggression that scars is the same. If I'm a kid who dances and likes dolls you have to let me do what I like. I was a kid who wanted to keep his hair long and played with Barbie. As a teen, my friends looked at my hair: " You have to find a girl with short hair to be at your side." My grandparents took away my dolls: "Stop it, they're not for you." Ethan

"When I was six I was already sick of them, the distinctions between masculine and feminine. I've always had strong ideas about how I wanted to be. I refused things that were typically defined as girly, and all around me they mocked me because I went skateboarding, I played soccer, I didn't wear skirts, I was giving myself the chance to be as I wished. I endured it a little, I suffered a little, but I had courage, and now thanks to that courage I know that I could have gotten even much more hurt, otherwise I would have left to others the most important choice: the one about myself." Victoria

Love in progress – Music, girlfriends

"I've been married to music for the last 20 years. I can't wait to celebrate our golden wedding anniversary." Ethan

"Everyone makes their own experiences, sometimes it goes well, sometimes it goes wrong, but it's always not anybody's business." Thomas

"When I first felt feelings and attraction towards a girl it was a bit disorienting because I had never had the courage of going beyond the limitations I had put for myself. For society being heterosexual is the norm and so you often define yourself in that way automatically, depriving yourself of the freedom to live many shades and faces of love. Once I overcame the initial insecurity of having to call into question my certainties I've lived my sexuality in a very natural and free way, as it should be for everyone." Victoria

"I had paparazzi at my door every day and night. So, after four years of relationship, I revealed her name. I still have paparazzi at my door every day and nigh, but at least I don't have to hide anything anymore." Damiano

The worth of the group – Phenomenology of protection

"The true engagement though, the true family is among ourselves, our band. We've believed in it since day zero, even before we called ourselves Måneskin (Moonlight in Danish), even before Ethan drew a giant moon on the flier for the first concert we ever did. We share everything, even the pain for the tragedy of Seid Visin, who committed suicide at 20 because of racism. [tn: I think the journalist asked them their opinion about Seid Visin's death, which was a current events topic in Italy, and then pasted it syntaxically in the middle of Thomas' answer, which was not a great move] A group is what we all should be: stay united and not back down an inch in the face of oppression that is generated by a distorted view of diversity." Thomas

I'm not of the right age – Like Gigliola [tn: Gigliola Cinquetti won Eurovision with her song "Non ho l'età", which means "I'm not of the right age"]

"Before you the only one who won both Sanremo and Eurovision on the same year was Cinquetti (1964). If there's anything I feel I'm not of the right age for? No, honestly no. Maybe having children. Regarding children I'll be honest: I'm not of the right age." Damiano

Having touched the sky – The fears that remain

"We're more than inside the dream, we're in the conquered dream. When you fly high there's the risk of plummeting and hurting yourself, but we'll work hard not to end up like Icarus, who burns his wings with the sun. Everything is in our hands. And this - a bit pretentiously - reassures us rather than scaring us." Damiano

[writing-gifts]

we ain’t in kansas anymore ch. 01 (bruno x gn!reader)

chapter 02

Summary: After being dragged into the middle of a fight, there’s no way for you to return back to your norm. You have no choice but to get used to your new environment while dealing with language barriers, homesickness, and trying to tiptoe around the organized crime of Naples. And maybe, just maybe you can find a way back home in the process.

-----

A/N: There’s going to be a 2nd part for this AU for the 100+ followers milestone but I wanted to write out the outline of the 1st part into an actual chapter first.

I added a good amount to and changed a few things from the outline so if you’ve already seen it I would recommend still reading this. 

(btw i put 202X instead of 2020 because I didn’t wanna date the story so specifically, at least not yet)

Dialogue in Italian is “Italicized like this”

-----

You have no idea what's going on. One second you were opening your bedroom door, and the next, you lost your balance and fell. But the fall was way longer than reasonable.

Now this random stranger has his arm wrapped around you and a knife to your neck. He's yelling in a language you don't understand at a man with a bob cut, standing a couple of feet away. He doesn’t look very bothered by the situation though.

Even though you might not understand what’s being said, you’re pretty sure if he gets any closer you're in trouble. But this has to be a dream.

You begin moving in your captor’s grasp undaunted by the weapon which is enough to distract him. He glances at you, his grip growing tighter as he adds more force to the knife. You stop struggling when you feel the stinging caused from the blade pressing into your skin. But suddenly he yells, the pain becomes much more intense, and then you’re not being held anymore.

Confused, you look down and see a severed arm at your feet and end up falling on your ass in shock. Your fingertips brush against something when you bring them to your sides and you look over to see another arm holding a knife laying next to you.

You yelp, bring your legs close to you and cover your eyes.

While chanting 'wake up' under your breath, you hear someone say something. It makes you flinch but you still peek through your fingers. Seeing a pair of legs so close to you makes you scoot away instinctively and you end up bumping against something. A shiver runs up your back but you force yourself to look up at the man instead of what’s behind you.

He says something else to you, maybe in an attempt to calm you down--it was hard to tell--but, of course, you have no idea what it means.

Still guarded, you reply, "Uhhh, sorry but I don't understand?"

His eyes widen slightly. A look of uncertainty shows on his face just for a moment before he says something else. You tilt your head and just stare at him while he stands there, but then he points to the opening of the alley. Oh.

You consider the hand he holds out to you. You weren't completely sure if you were actually dreaming anymore, so were you really going to follow him? And where would you go by yourself if you decided not to?

The man patiently waits as you mull this over while looking at his hand and then him.

Even though you were still conflicted, you decide to grab his hand and he helps you up. He then pulls out a flip phone--you hadn’t seen one of those in a long while--and makes a call. You dust off yourself while looking over at him.

You're surprised you didn’t notice his white patterned suit until now. What’s with all the zippers?

You touch your neck unconsciously and immediately yank it away from the pain. Your fingertips are covered in blood so you do your best to ignore the pain and wipe the rest of it off your neck, but you just end up smearing it instead. You’re getting ready to wipe at the cut with your clothes instead when a piece of light cloth is held out in front of you by the Zipper Man.

“Oh thanks…” You accept it although you felt a little bad knowing you were about to ruin it. You dab it around your neck trying to feel out the cut without making the pain worse but your neck felt unscathed. Which made no sense since there was so much blood.

You couldn’t be bothered trying to figure out what was happening though, so you finish cleaning up the blood and put the cloth in your pocket. Once the man sees you’re done, he starts walking out of the alleyway and you follow a bit behind him.

"Where are we going?...Wait nevermind." You shake your head. The question slipped out before you remembered he wouldn't understand.

He throws you a curious look and not knowing what else to do, you return an awkward smile.

The both of you walk in silence for some time after that before it’s broken by a yell.

“Buccellati! Everyone is taken care of and I didn’t find anyone else suspicious on the radar." He looks at you. "Who is that?"

"I'm not completely sure but I think the bastard I was fighting could teleport people from other locations, maybe even out of the country because they don't seem to understand any Italian. They aren’t a stand user either.” Zipper Man explains.

After that exchange, the boy looks at you with a shocked expression.

You simply stare back. "...W-What?"

The boy starts talking rapidly at you. “So you can’t understand me? Where are you from? Do you only know English?" He clears his throat and spouts off something in accented English.

You stare at him like a deer in headlights but not only from all the questions. "Is...Is that from a rap song? You probably shouldn’t say that. It’s kinda inappropriate..." You tilt your head and raise a brow. "How old are you anyway?"

“The only thing I really understood was ‘rap song’! Do you really not understand any Italian?”

“Ahhh this is so weird! I really must not be dreaming cause it sounds like you're speaking legit Italian and I don’t know any!” You huff and slide your hands down your face.

“Narancia,” Zipper Man looks at the boy, “Leave them alone. Fugo’s going to meet us at Libeccio. He knows how to speak English.” 

He starts walking again. You follow him as the boy--who you guess was Narancia--comes up beside you and keeps asking you questions you don’t understand at all. But you try your best to reply. Maybe you two are having a somewhat coherent conversation…

After about 10 minutes, you enter a restaurant. An employee immediately greets the three of you and you smile politely. They led you all to a table in a different, empty room of the restaurant.

A menu is put in front of you but you shake your head. You went a bit crazy with your midnight snack before you ended up here and honestly you were too stressed to eat right now. Actually why were you all here anyways?

You and the boy continue your barely-conversation. But after listening to him ramble for a while, you hold up a finger so he quiets down.

"What's your name? Is it Narancia?" you ask.

"Are you guessing my name? Cause you just said it!" He points to himself, "I'm Narancia!"

"Narancia..."

You didn't think he could smile any harder than he was now. “Yea!”

You grin a little. So you did guess right.

You then turn towards the Zipper Man looking at him expectantly. "Your name?"

“Bruno Buccellati,” he says.

You're pretty sure that’s a type of cookie. Did he just bring up sweets for no reason?

“Bruno….B-Buccellati?”

He nods his head. “That’s correct.”

Is that a legit last name?

You let it go and point at yourself. "I’m ___."

You give a thumbs up when they both repeat your name back to you.

“Buccellati.”

You turn at the new voice and you can't help feeling caught off guard. Bruno definitely had unique clothes but this person took the cake. You couldn't help thinking of green swiss cheese.

“Fugo, sorry to call you out so late, but this is the person I was talking about. Can you be a translator for us,” Bruno asks.

“Of course.”

The Cheese Boy turns to you. “Hello, I’m Fugo Pannacotta, but you can just call me Fugo, and I’m going to be translating what you say from here on out.”

You smile. Finally something you could understand! “Awesome! I’m ___ and I have no idea what’s going on or how I got here!”

“They said they don’t know what’s going on or how they got here,” Fugo translates and goes back to you. “Where exactly are you from?”

You answer and pause before speaking again. “I’m in Italy right? It sounds like you all are speaking Italian.”

This talking back and forth and translating goes on for a while and you learn a couple things.

First, that something really weird and supernatural is going on. Bruno said it was called a ‘stand ability’--they’re like superpowers you guess.

Next you had accidentally gotten dragged into some mafia crap. You didn’t know you could be this unlucky.

“We’re in the mafia,” Fugo tells you matter-of-factly.

You gawk at him. “Mafia!?” Your voice goes up an octave. “N-No way…I mean yea sure gangs still exist everywhere, but isn’t this all a bit too obvious?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, it’s 202X! I think you'd have to be more tactful right? You wouldn't tell someone like me so quickly.”

Fugo looks at you like you're crazy.

Your brows furrow slightly. “What?”

“You said it was 202X. It’s 2002,” Fugo corrects you.

“But...huh? It was 202X this morning!”

“What are you talking about?”

"No, what are you talking about?"

“What's going on?” Bruno asks.

“They said it was 202X.”

Bruno and Narancia throw you strange looks next.

You huff. “What!?”

The next 15 minutes consist of you trying to accept the fact that you aren’t in your own time anymore.

The three mafiosos watch you pace back and forth in the room. Well two of them were. Narancia was too busy stuffing his face.

Fugo sighs, slightly annoyed, "Can you please sit down."

“How am I going to get back home?” you mutter to yourself. You didn't even hear him.

You could just fly back home on a plane but your family wouldn't recognize you since you were much younger at the moment…

You stop pacing, a terrible realization hitting you.

You look at Bruno and Fugo and  ignore their questioning looks as you stare at their eccentric attire. You weren't exactly a fashion connoisseur but this seemed a bit much even for 2002. And on top of that, you’d never seen a mafia man wearing such loud clothing in any depictions or photos of them.

You begin pacing again.

...Were you even in the same reality? What if you weren’t supposed to exist here? Did your family not exist here?

From Bruno and Fugo's reactions, it must not be impossible for these superpow--stands to transport people from across thousands of miles. So maybe there could be ones that could transport people from even further! Maybe galaxies… even realities? Were there even limits to these things?

You turn towards the table to speak but can't help stuttering. “H-Hey...um is there like someone who can send me back where I came from? Like that guy from before! Is he even s-still alive? Can he send me b-back?”

Fugo’s pitying look is enough to answer your question.

“Nevermind, I uh…” You trail off and sit back down to stare at the tablecloth.

You sigh. “Fugo, this is just a guess but I think there's a chance I might not even be in my own world. Just a weird feeling.”

He looks at you for a moment before he tells Bruno and Narancia what you said. You tune them out though. They seem to be getting into something else anyway.

You unconsciously grab at your pocket and feel something--your phone. You're about to pull it out but then an idea hits you.

If you were still in your own world you should be able to call your dad. He hasn’t changed his number since forever!

“Guys, I need a calling card!” Narancia jumps from your outburst.

You need to call your dad, then you’ll know if you should start crying or not.

You stand up from your seat, set on leaving. “Somebody, come with me. We need to-” Your stomach growls. Loud.

Narancia laughs. “Holy crap what was that?!”

Bruno calmly calls over a waiter. “Tell them to sit down Fugo. We’ll take the next steps after they eat.”

Fugo starts to speak but you shake your head and cut him off. "No, I can't eat like this! Please let's just go now..."

Fugo doesn't move though. Nobody moves. The waiter awkwardly stands there staring at you. You feel a bit like a kid throwing a tantrum, mainly because you suddenly felt like crying.

"___?" Narancia speaks up.

You realize that being stubborn wouldn't get you anywhere, so you sigh and sit down. And when Bruno asks what you want to eat, you just wave your hand. You didn't care.

-----

chapter 02

[rhysand-vs-fenrys]

Because I’m very bored, ALL DA SYMBOLS

LMAO!

You must be bored!

Putting it under a cut, since there are a lot of pictures

📱 Show your phone lock screen and/or home screen

I’m not someone who puts home/lock screens, I just change my phone’s theme when I get bored (and thank you for asking this because in wiping out personal info I realized my phone was still on silent XD)

💕 Your two top fave fictional characters

I’m sorry, I’m picking characters from my Original. It’s cheating, but they’re where my heart is right now–

Nereene

Colm/Vivienne (it’s a tie)

🕹 Video game you are currently playing

World of Warcraft- and before you make fun of me, you can play free up to level 20 so see if YOU don’t get hooked too. I am getting my 5th character to level 120, I have another 6-7 who are at least L90…

There are literally only 2 games I don’t suck at: World of Warcraft and The Sims 3. 

🌡 Fave season

Either fall or winter. I like being cold and watching snow or the leaves change…

🏫 Are you in school, what grade

I’m in 21st grade (haahahahahaha).

🎒 Are you in college, major area of study

I have a B.A. in Telecommunications (Video Design and Production track) and a minor in Classical Civilizations: Literature and Culture (Roman track)

🏢 Your job (You don’t have to be specific) or dream job if you don’t work

Job: I work as a freelance media specialist for the local PBS station. I’m a camerawoman, audio director, lighting director, grip, and script supervisor as needed (plus like 10 other things).

Dream Job: A writer in some way- movies, TV shows, or my own novels (but not movies or TV shows based on my novels because I’m not objective enough to cut stuff down to movie/tv formatting).

📷 Post the 12th photo from your phone’s gallery

Oh great, now you know what we’re having for Thanksgiving (if you can read my nightmare handwriting)…

📅 Your birthday

Winter sometime

🎂 How old are you

27

📏 How tall are you

5′6.5″ (169 cm)

🔑 Key to your heart

Being loved ^_^

📖 Fave book

A Court of Mist and Fury

📝 Fave quote

“It is easy to descend into Hell, all day and all night the dark doors of Hades stand open. But to retrace your path, to emerge once again in the sweet air of heaven- this is your task, and therein lies your burden.”— Virgil’s ‘The Aeneid’ (Poetic translation)

Basically the greatest quote for redemption or even just to get through life.

🌐 Languages you can speak and/or are learning. Which are you fluent in

I am not fluent in any language (or at least today it doesn’t feel like it), but I can sometimes speak English.

For real though, I’m pretty good at Korean (studied it in Uni and lived in Wonju for a year), and I can surprisingly not totally fuck myself over with Chinese (1 semester in college and a couple years watching Chinese dramas, so don’t expect much).

💻 Desktop/Laptop/iPad/other

Desktop yes, Chromebook (a tablet that thinks it’s a laptop really), and a Samsung tablet.

📔 Do you keep a traditional diary

Sort of? I mainly write in it when I can’t sleep because something is chewing at my mind, which means it’s full of really dark shit.

☠ Something that angers you

The political landscape of the US right now and how homophobic, misogynistic, racist, and elitist it is (also people who drive 5 miles under the speed limit in the passing lane).

🐷 Junk food you can never get enough of

Cooler ranch doritos

🌼 Fave flower

I love the look of a rose but the smell of carnation.

📺 Fave anime

“The Twelve Kingdoms” (Because I love the book and it’s surprisingly almost identical to the novel, which is surprising because when I say novel I mean novel- it isn’t a comic book).

🎥 Fave film

Either “My Cousin Vinny” or “The Secret of Roan Inish”

📻 Fave song currently

I was digging “Natural” by Imagine Dragons the whole drive home from work today.

🎙 Can you sing

I can make sounds come out of my mouth, but I’m sure people would disagree as to if it counted as singing…

🎁 Best gift you ever received and why

I’m calling it a “gift”– the settlement from a lawsuit against my pediatrician. He (more likely his wife/head nurse) was watering down vaccinations, so the settlement was $XXX for how many you had re-done. I ended up getting 3, my brother only had 1.

I say it is the best because the $1,500 I got (at 14) ended up buying me my very first laptop, and it wholly unleashed me as a writer. I had somewhere that was MINE to work on stuff without my family being able to access it (my family, btw, doesn’t know I write). I typed up first drafts of about 5 originals within 1 year. 

The most liberating thing in my entire life was that first laptop, and now I’m unstoppable.

👾 Do you believe in aliens

Of course.

Do I believe they stick probes up hillbilly assholes and draw in corn? No. I’d be stunned if there was any previous interaction, they’re probably as ignorant of us as we are of them.

To quote the movie Contact (or paraphrase because I’m not looking up the quote), if we were alone in the Universe, “It would be an awful big waste of space.”

👻 Do you believe in ghosts

Sometimes? IDK, I like a good ghost story, but I’ve never seen someone describe an encounter and been like “THAT SOUNDS SO LEGIT!”

⛪ What is your religion

I like the idea of religion, but I figure no one is actually going to get it right. Every religion in the history of existence has always sworn they’re the only real one and everyone else is going to hell. In 5,000+ years every religion now will be looked at like how we look at ancient Greek or Roman gods.

I just try to live well so I can face my own conscience and generally leave things better than I found them. I think that’s the core of every religion, and just “Do your best to not be a dick” is a good life policy. 

Again, I love religion, I think it serves a great (but sometimes terrible) place in humanity, and I’m not an atheist, I just don’t feel strongly about any specific religion. If my future lover is heavily invested in one, I’d go to services with them and support them all the same.

🌎 What country do you live in

United States, the country of horrible health care and truly atrocious sex-ed.

📸 Post a selfie

I’m having a bad face day, so here’s one from last December (AKA the last time I looked good)

[yoongiwillforgiveme]

Just Give Me a Reason Pt. 4

It’s been forever, I’m sorry. Here’s the next part of my Yoongi fic. I hope you guys like it.

Kay 🌹

July 2016

It’s been almost a year since I’ve wanted to work with BTS after I went to their concert in L.A. 

I truly started liking their music after that day and after talking to the guys over dinner after their performance the idea of a collaboration came up.

But with both of our busy schedules making it happen seemed impossible for months. Namjoon had been sending me snippets from songs he thought would work for a remix and we ended up with 3 or 4 demos on our hands that never really materialized into anything other than that.

It wasn’t until Tae, whom I had been texting back and forth since we exchanged numbers, mentioned Yoongi had an idol singer coming to work with him in his studio to feature on his mixtape that I started playing with the idea of doing the same. 

Maybe we needed to physically meet for a writing session and see if we could come up with something worthy to put out. 

So when a small role in a movie took me to Taiwan for two weeks on June I cleared my schedule so I could travel to Korean and hit the studio with the guys for about 10 days during their very little free time.

When I arrived to the BigHit building I realized just how big they were now. They had just recently moved there, it was the super nice part of town where everybody who was somebody in Korea were expected to be found.

The security was tight, and no wonder why. From what Tae had told me they have had several incidents where obsessed fans lurked outside their home and work to catch a glimpse or them and some even tried to sneak in. He said it was weird and they got low key scared knowing the lenghts some of those people went to get their personal information so the company had increasingly hired more security for both for the boy’s dorms and the office.

After my appointment with the guys was confirmed, I was escorted upstairs with a translator my record label hired for me. We were shown to what they said was the studio’s floor. 

As we were walking down the corridor I saw a door mat with a cat on it giving the middle finger that read ‘Go away’. It was funny. 

We finally reached the room we were looking for and I was told to wait for a bit so they could get the boys.

I was waiting for all of them to show up, so I was surprised when only Namjoon, Hoseok and another guy showed up, one of their songwriters who went by the name of Slow Rabbit.

“Noona, you made it!” After a quick introduction to their song writer we took a seat and started working. After establishing what we wanted to accomplish after out sessions we began throwing ideas here and there for both lyrics and melodies. The guys started working fast on some beats as I scribbled down some verses.

“Are the rest of the guys not coming?” I asked Joon about 20 minutes after we started our session out of curiosity.

“They wanted to come but sadly they were busy today so they’ll probably join us in a few days. Yoongi hyung should be here any minute now noona. He was just wrapping things up in his own studio with another artist” He tells me with a smile

“Right, Tae mentioned something about a feature for his mixtape” 

“Yes, she’s very talented. No wonder hyung chose to work with her. We’re all excited to hear his finished work.” I catch a glimpse of Hoseok chuckling softly and shaking his head no after Slow Rabbit whispers something to his ear with a big smirk on his face. 

In that moment Suga walks in, iced americano on one hand and a notebook on the other. He’s dressed very casually, black ripped skinny jeans, black t-shirt and black converse.

What is it with men in all black that makes my eyes sprakle with interest anyway? 

He carries himself with confidence, even though he slouches a bit he naturally has that “I’m cool and I know it” aura around him that makes him stand out. He’s not smug about it, I can see it’s definitely not something he’s doing on purpose, that’s just the way it is and I’d be lying if I said it’s not attractive.

“Hyung you’re late, noona’s been here for almost half an hour now, we had to start without you.” Suga bows politely but doesn’t say anything to me, he barely makes eye contact and passes me by to take a look at the screen. He exchanges a few words with the boys and asks to listen to the demo we’re working on. At least that’s what I think he did because I haven’t asked the translator to tell me anything since we got here. 

Joon has been kind enough to translate for us when it’s needed, even though Hoseok tries his best to speak in english for me. I appreciate that and it makes me want to learn his language so I could at least try and do the same.

Suga points to my notebook and I ask him if he wants to check out what I’ve got. He seems to understand what I said just fine as he replies with a short ‘yes please’. 

“Hyung understands some english, mostly if it’s not spoken too fast. And he can read and write in english too. He’s just shy when it comes to speaking you know. Right hyung” Joon smiles proudly at him and Suga takes a minute to acknowledge this with an “uh-huh ” without even looking at us since he’s immersed in my lyrics.

When he’s done he hands my notebook back and nods several times more to himself than me. I quickly reassure him I’m nowhere near finished with it and it’ll get better and he just nods again. 

“Hey, do you have a guitar I can use to record a melody? I don’t want to forget it.” We’ve been working for two hours now and I have a beat stuck in my head, Hoseok turns around and excitedly points to the door.

“Guitar? Yes yes, Jin hyung...” He’s stuck at that, so he quickly looks at Joon and Suga and tells them something in korean.

“Ah yes, Jin hyung must have a guitar in his office. We can borrow it. I’ll come get it. Do you want to come so I can give you a quick tour noona? We have a cafeteria too in case you want something to eat, it’s going to be a long night” I say yes to both a quick tour and a late night snack, Namjoon lets the guys know we’ll be right back, I think he asks them if they want anything  because Hoseok shakes is head no and Slow Rabbit asks for a coke, I grab my phone and we start making our way to the door when Suga calls for Joon.

He stands up and makes his way to us.

“Noona, he needs to grab something from his studio so he’ll come with you.” I smile and tell him it’s okay

“Hyung, I promised her a tour alright?” Suga looks at him for a moment but doesn’t say anything, my guess is he doesn’t want to waste his time showing me around. We really shouldn’t, we have very little time as it is but then he says okay.

“Let’s go” He looks at me and starts walking. I follow him closely but not too much, this guy is way more distant and shy than the rest of his friends. I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.

“It’s okay you know? No tour, it’s okay” He looks at me and even though it wasn’t a hard sentence I feel nervous. Does he understand what I mean? They hire a translator for me but I don’t use it, such an idiot.

“Uhmm... here.... guitar?” He point to the room to our left and he opens the door for me, I guess it’s Jin’s office since they said this is where I could find a guitar but turns out it’s nowhere to be found.

“No guitar, sorry. Uhmm... You want coffee?” He apologizes and motions for me to follow him so we end up taking the lift down.

“I don’t like coffee but thanks. Tea? Do you have tea?” I make a drinking gesture with my hand and make a point to raise my pinky in hopes he can understand what I’m saying but he frowns and then just smiles lightly as he shakes his head no. He doesn’t understand.

I tell him it’s okay and when we reach the cafeteria I just google what I want and show the picture to the lady. Turns out they do have tea, he goes “Oh tea” as he finally gets what I was asking for. He asks for something and while we wait I get a little uncomfortable so I start staring at everything around me except for him. He seems to be doing the same. Once we get our drinks he motions for me to follow him again and I do

He shows me their practice room, it’s huge. I can only wonder just how many hours they’ve spent here practicing their dances over and over and over again until they’re perfect. He then shows me a conference room, then the closet room completely packed with dozens of outfits for the seven members, two different recording studios, a computer room where from what I can understand Tae, Jungkook, Jimin and Jin play games during their free time and finally we’re back on our floor. As we’re approaching the room with the doormat I saw earlier I point to it.

“What’s in that room?” He looks at me hesitatingly and looks back and forth between me and the door.

“Here, is my studio” He doesn’t make a move to open the door and I understand he doesn’t want to show it to me so I don’t push it

“Oh, your door mat is cute” And with that I start walking again towards the room where the other guys are, Suga follows me. When we get back we dive into our work one more time until we decide to call it a night. They do still have things to do early in the morning so I say my goodbyes and go back to my hotel.

Yoongi’s POV

“Isn’t noona nice hyung? It’s been a while since I’ve worked with someone as nice as her. Not to mention talented, she has a really pretty voice and her lyrics are good. I wish we spoke more english like Namjoon so we could understand her better don’t you?”

 Hoseok seems very excited we’re working with Y/N noona, I know all of the guys are, and I am too. This is a good opportunity to try something different and the fact that she’s a big international superstar that was willing to work with us who are still relatively unknown around the world it’s flattering. She travelled all the way here and cleared her schedule so she could accommodate to ours.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t starstruck when we first met her. I’m still a little starstrucked now and we’ve met her a couple times now. It’s crazy to think we’re working with a big hollywood star. I hadn’t listened to her music before we met her. A couple of them after the L.A. concert out of curiosity, but that was it. When I heard we would be working on a collab it’s when I decided to check it out. I focused on the lyrics and the production, of course the last one is good. She probably has the best of the best working for her, but I was pleasantly surprised when I read most of her lyrics are written by her and she also plays some instruments. 

I then watched some of her music videos. For work purposes of course, to get to know a bit more about the artist. 

Even when most of her songs are not at very sexual, there are a couple, especially collaborations with rappers and non title songs on her albums that are very naughty. 

It’s embarrasing and I would never admit it to anyone but even though I felt my cheeks start to redden when I watched some of her more risky scenes play on my computer I didn’t look away. 

I know the western culture is a lot different from ours, and as a hip hop fan I’m no stranger to sexual content on songs and their music videos, I’ve also written several suggestive verses here and there. But if I’m being honest with myself I can’t remember another instance where I got semi hard after watching a girl on a video that wasn’t porn.

I’ve tried to forget about it because that’s most definitely not professional of me and it makes me feel ashamed of myself. A part of me rationalized that it’s normal, I’m still a healthy, 23 year old, warm-blooded male and she’s a beautiful and very sexy woman. 

Of course she stirs a reaction when she’s being sensual like. But never in a vulgar way, at least I don’t think she looks vulgar. She has found a way to be provocative but still keep it classy. 

Maybe that also has to do with the fact the she has a very innocent face, soft, doll-like features that make her look younger than she is, especially when she’s not wearing make up like today. 

I’ve also noticed that she has never looked too flashy any of the times we’ve met her before. Mostly wearing jeans and simple t-shirts, natural hair and make up. She must also be tired of being dolled up constantly as part of her job, most girls and a lot of guys around here are not confident enough to go out with a bare face. Always trying to impress. But when that’s part of your daily routine it gets annoying. I see she couldn’t care less about impressing us with her looks.

Today she was wearing flats and I’ve also noticed she’s pretty short for an american girl, I still remember the noonas from the Warren G music video. It was embarrasing how they all towered over me in their high heels. Y/N noona is way shorter than me and I’m not a particularly tall guy. In my eyes she somehow looks younger than me.

“Yeah, we should work on our english but today was still okay” Hoseok doesn’t say more about her and the subject quickly changes to what we’re having for dinner. It’s been a long day. I just want to get home and get some sleep.

Slowly but surely the days are passing by, on the third day we are joined by Jungkook and Taehyung, the last one was excited to see me after communicating via text all these months.

“Noona! I’m so happy to see you” As I hug him Namjoon tells me the young boy has memorized some phrases for today and has been actively practicing his english whenever he has the time and it’s getting better. He also thanks me for helping him with the language. “It’s hard to learn english, especially when you don’t have friends who are native speakers to practice with. You’ve been helping him a lot noona, thank you”.

“Not a problem. Taehyung knows I like him and enjoy talking to him. I know it’s nice to have someone to practice with, I’ve also struggled when I’ve tried to learn a new language so I can relate.” 

I spend a lot of that day laughing with the younger ones, at first Jungkook was very shy and refused to make eye contact with me, but he eventually warmed up to my presence and started practicing his english lines with me and then cracking some jokes. 

Trying not to bother their hyung too much they rely on the Naver translator to communicate with me and they convince me to download it so I can use it too.

By the end of the day Jungkook and I have plans to cover an english song in the future and we’ve also exchanged personal numbers. Tae has made me promise I’ll go with him to Gucci so he can convince me that’s the it place to shop these days and on the fourth day when Jimin comes to the studio as well the young one recruits his friend for the outing. Jin comes by to say hello but doesn’t stay long, he has a family emergency and has only come to apologize for not being here for the last few days but he has been down with the flu.

On the tenth and final day of our recording sessions I have everyone’s number except for Jin’s and Yoongi’s and we’ve been texting some during the day. With everyone except for Jungkook who apparently rarely ever texts anyone.

“So we just need to start working on the mix now. We’ll be in touch with your label so we can all agree on the final product. Hopefully everyone will be pleased. It’s been nice working with you for these past few days noona. We’ll miss you.” It’s late at night and it’s time to say goodbye. By now the guys have warmed up to me enough that I can give them a light hug and a cheek air kiss as a goodbye. Even Jungkook accepts it, with blushing cheeks but he does. 

When it’s Yoongi’s turn I go for it and he stiffens but still awkwardly places his arms around me and pats the air instead of my back, still not comfortable enough to touch me. I on the other hand pat his back very lightly with one hand and can’t help but blush when I smell his cologne and have him so close to my body. It’s a natural reaction, he’s an attractive guy, I mean, they all are, but he’s the only one that I have a bit of a crush on.

I hear a laugh and a voice that doesn’t belong to any of the Bangtan members so I turn around mid hug, still very much in Yoongi’s personal space. The only word I recognized in the sentence was his name so I know they were talking to him. 

Slow Rabbit was still in the studio when we were saying goodbye and even though I don’t dislike him I didn’t talk to him at all during my time here, he was always focused on the guys and working so he’s barely an acquaintance.

Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook laughingly push him and signal him to keep quiet. Suga takes a step back and his eyes seem to throw daggers his way. He doesn’t say anything but doesn’t laugh either.

“What did he say?” I look at Yoongi who immediatly looks at Joon. 

“Nothing noona, he’s just joking” The poor guy must be tired to translate for us but I’m really curious as to what he said.

“About what?” I laugh half-heartedly and turn to Slow Rabbit who I know speaks a bit of english as well.

“I said I think you like him” He points at Suga and out of reflex I turn to look at him, he looks angry and I start to laugh nervously. The words, ‘haha so funny’, or ‘I dont’ don’t come out of my mouth for some reason.

“Don’t worry, he likes you too” Namjoon takes a step closer to us but before he can start a sentence Yoongi beats him to it.

“Yah, jibeochiwo” He then walks out and everyone tries their best to shake off the uncomfortable vibe that lingers in the room now. I try to act as if nothing happened but to be honest it was awkward.

As I’m making my way down to the main entrance I bump into Yoongi again, I guess he’s on his way upstairs. He’s sipping his brand new iced americano and he’s rubbing his temples.

He looks around to check if anyone is watching us, but it’s late and there’s very few people in the building. No one is paying attention to us. He approaches me with caution, his cool and collected demeanor is back and I feel slightly, or more like very intimidated, but even more embarrased because of what just happened.

“I... I’m sorry... Slow Rabbit-ssi, he... uhmmm.... You are so nice but... I not...”Oh God, Oh dear God please someone kill me right now.

Suddenly my head is spinning and I feel nauseous. I feel like all the blood in my body has gone to my face and I’m about to explode, my cheeks and ears feel hot, I can only imagine what I look like right now.

My legs feel like jelly and I might trip over something on the way out but I speak as fast as I can and make a run for the exit. All I want is to reach my SUV so I can try and collect myself after this nightmare.

“Oh my God, no. Don’t apologize, I know he was joking. Of course I know you don’t like me. Oh God, this is so embarrasing. I’m so sorry if anything I did came out that way. I-I.... I gotta go. Don’t worry and again I'm sorry. Bye”

I get in the vehicle and I take deep breaths. My heart is beating so fast and for some strange reason I feel like crying.

[ebonyheartnet]

I was raised learning bits of Arabic, Spanish, German, Japanese, Chinese, Latin, Italian, French, Twee, Swahili, and a fuck ton more (everyone thought that it was a good idea to teach me just enough to be confused no matter what language I hear), so here’s a hilarious list of plausible real life fun and fuckups you can use for characters that grew up in multicultural environments who are still (SOMEHOW) monolingual:

Teach a bully the supposed translation of their favorite superhero’s name, and then smile every day at the bully’s new nickname, “General Shithead”

Give them an accent just good enough that they can bullshit folks who don’t speak the language while their friends that do try not to laugh

Teenagers rapid fire cursing at each other in three languages while using the grammar of their mother tongue, but none of the words ((aka how I got banned from a bar I technically worked in at 15 for 3 months before resuming my unpaid internship))

Having an ear for accents just good enough that they nearly cry every time their parents try to say something in their target language, because Bad Sounds Are Bad

Realize they’re pronouncing Romanji like you would Spanish, and then wanting to yeet their soul to the other side of the globe

Telling themself no more manga for a while because they just tried to read a regular book in English completely from right to left

Secret codes written in Hieroglyphics and spelled in pig latin with a bastardized form of Spanish grammar

Singing an entire song in Japanese at karaoke, and then thanking the crowd in perfect Latin because they’d spent an entire week studying for that fucking test but who gives an oral exam for LATIN ((It has been almost 10 years and I am still bitter))

Bullshiting a cognate, getting it right, and wondering if they’ve actually started becoming fluent

Immediately following that up with another attempted cognate, and taking several moments to realize that no, that’s just Latin, not Italian

Repeating something you learned years ago that you thought was probably German for, “Don’t do that dear,” and then learning that the sweet old Jewish lady their dad worked with swore at him in Yiddish before politely chastising him in English ((may her memory be a blessing, she was a goddess and still far too kind))

One character mishearing where the other one is from, beginning to speak in Spanish, realizing that character 2 actually speaks Arabic, and then having both characters figure out how to bitch about Google Translate, because they each know just enough of the other language to know it’s fucking up spectacularly

Correcting teacher on their use of a foreign language, actually taking teacher up on their sarcastic offer to lead the class bc they don’t do sarcasm, and nearly getting sent to the office for backing up their shit by knowing just enough for the other students to help bridge the gap ((That was a fun day lol))

im going to have a stroke

[kittoforos]

i was tagged by @worldapprentice​! Thanks! (and thanks for the compliment)

1. Which language(s) do you know/are you learning?

My native language is American English, I know Russian well enough to blush but not deny it when people tell their friends i’m ‘fluent’, and I’m currently studying French! (in a low-key way which i plan to step up this winter... unless i end up doing German then. it depends on logistical factors tbh i like both languages a lot and would ultimately like to learn both i think). I took Spanish in school and I used to speak it decently, but I’ve forgotten almost all of it and want to get it back someday soon. And many more...

2. Why did you start learning these languages?

I started learning Russian to better understand the culture that gave rise to Russian and Soviet music, which I’ve always loved, and I keep studying it to understand poetry and complex prose... and complex politics...

3. Is English your native language? If not when did you learn it?

English is my native language, but that doesn’t mean i’m not still learning it!

4. What’s your favorite movie you’ve watched in your target language?

Oh, this is hard... “Русалка” (2007) probably? or “Большой” (2017). And i have a really soft spot in my heart for like, “Конец Санкт-Петербурга” (1927). And i mean, Tarkovsky is Tarkovsky, согласит��сь

For French, Godart’s “La Chinoise” (1968), which i watched a few days ago. The Mao Mao song is still playing at the back of my head lmao lmao

For German, “Der Junge Karl Marx” (2017), which i watched on a plane...

I don’t remember as I’ve ever actually sat down and watched a movie in Spanish. Send me recommendations?

5. What’s your favorite word in every language you speak?

In English, i really love the word “conspiracy” for its etymology (i studied Latin in high school— literally it’s “breathing together”)

In Russian... hmm, i’ll have to think about this. Probably “неистовство”, because i’m in love with Vissarion Belinsky (and being able to pronounce it shows me how far i’ve come lol)

In Spanish, “estadounidense”, because i love being able to state my nationality without the vague imperialism of “american”. and like, “soñar”, because deep down i’m basic as all hell (and it’s a cognate with Russian).

In French, “orage” because i’m charmed that it comes from Latin “aura” (Latin influences my preferences more strongly than i thought, it seems) or “matin” because... i just like it. it reminds me of monasteries

In German (which i don’t speak lol), “Akkord”. that seems odd maybe but i’m a classical singer and i use this word a lot (many, many songs are in fact about songs— plus it’s the same word in Russian!) and i love how it sounds. Oft hat ein Seufzer, deiner Harf' entflossen, ein süßer, heiliger Akkord von dir...

6. What are your best resources to learn a language?

Native speaker friends!! and YouTube channels! and poems/music. I’m a very auditory learner, and if i hear how a word/phrase/grammatical structure sounds in a spoken/sung context i’m much more likely to remember it than if i’ve only read it on the page 

I have a couple of grammar books for Russian but honestly i very rarely use them. god bless викисловарь lmao. If i’m unsure about how to use a particular syntactical structure i usually just google a sentence with it the way i think is right and see if the results make sense. It’s a surprisingly effective method, once you get to the point where you can determine whether the results mean what you’re trying to say...

7. What language would you start studying right know?

Czech!

8. What country do you live in? What’s the official language of your country?

I live in the Unites States of America, which has no official language (contrary to popular belief...)

9. Tell us a moment when knowing another language turned out helpful.

I’ve had literally countless such moments since i got comfortable in Russian especially at border crossings and on public transport in unfamiliar central european cities/russian towns at night lol , both abroad and in the U.S. i’ve made tons of friends and important contacts from all over the place just because i speak Russian, and of course it’s vital for my academic work in Russian lit/history

and sometimes the little Latin and Spanish i learned in high school crop up in my life as well.

sometimes even my extremely weak knowledge of Irish has come in handy to express a specific feeling.

learning languages is basically never a waste of time.

10. How do you plan to use the languages you know/you are learning? (E.g. do you wanna be a translator, do you wanna teach others, etc)

I want to be an academic (research and teaching) in the field of Slavic languages and literatures and do a lot of translation, maybe some linguistic research too. and maybe in my heart of hearts i want to write poetry...

11. Do you have a different personality for every language? If yes, which one do you prefer?

i guess i’m more direct and more intense when i speak Russian, and my humor in Russian is maybe a little darker, more subtle, and much more literary/referential (whereas my English humor is, if i’m honest, mostly based around bad puns). i’ve also been told that i speak lower in my (already fairly low) vocal register in Russian than in English a lot of the time, although i suspect that that’s a factor of comfort. I speak at a higher pitch when i’m uncomfortable/trying to ingratiate myself with some (usually, although not always, male) authority, and Russian for me is kind of like the linguistic equivalent of a big soft grey blanket/coat in which i can wrap myself up and avoid a) accumulated angst related to the social stressors i grew up with, which are connected irrevocably to English as my native language and b) the emotional repercussions i would otherwise face for discussing certain things. i saw a study that said that’s true for most people who speak more than one language that they didn’t acquire simultaneously, it’s easier to talk about strong emotions and charged topics in L2. i’ve also only ever lived on my own in Russian, so to speak, which probably has something to do with it...

[asumplicity]

NieR: Automata - game diary pt. 1

Hey. I've felt like doing something with the games I play for a while. Like creating some kind of content with them, written or video or whatever. Recording and uploading let's plays to Youtube or something. But that wasn't really my thing. Just writing reviews seemed boring to me, too. So I decided I'll do game diaries. I started playing NieR: Automata yesterday. I'll do a write-up of my day 1 experience. Full spoilers ahead.

I honestly was really excited for what was expecting me in NieR: Automata. I looked at the series and knew what kind of genre it was, that it was made in Japan and some of the history around it. I hadn't really looked at much more than trailers and Wikipedia articles for any of the games though. I didn't know how the actual gameplay would go, what kind of story it was or anything. All the actual info that was known to me was that it was supposedly good, the main characters were called "2B" and "9S" and there were mech enemies with kinda cute looking faces (I find them fucking adorable for some reason), so I decided I would want to give it a try.

(Just for the info: I’m playing the game with Japanese audio, English subtitles and on Normal difficulty.)

I jumped in. The game didn't give me a lot of time to breathe. First thing I get is a white screen and a female voice talking to me. "Everything that lives is designed to end. We are perpetually trapped in a never-ending spiral of life and death. Is this a curse? Or some kind of punishment? I often think about the god who blessed us with this cryptic puzzle and wonder if we'll ever have the chance to kill him."

Well that's unsettling. Here I am, not knowing a thing and some unknown voice gives me that. Stating life as something like a curse and wanting to kill their creator. Alright then. I wasn’t expecting that, but I was already getting excited. The game goes on to start with a fun to play and decently made shmup sequence, which I didn't even know the game had any of, in which my allies just died like flies and I got left alone. Five allies. Just wiped away. They all got one shotted by some huge scary laser. Did I already say it all felt unsettling to me? I wasn't prepared for anything the game threw at me to that point.

Eventually, it settled down a little, when my flying mech-thingy was destroyed and I was left on foot. That's what I actually was kinda prepared for. Seeing my character and fighting on foot. I encountered the mechs with the cute looking faces and killed 'em. I felt how I wasn't ready to take in the combat system yet and took hits all over the place. Since there was auto-use of healing items when you got low hp it was all good so far though. I got through my first on-foot fighting sequence and got to meet 9S. He’s a polite and really chill dude imo. Before moving on I ran in circles, admiring the scenery for about 5 minutes. Everything looked nice. It was some kinda factory and some things looked kinda broken and everything, but I really enjoyed the atmosphere and I‌ still liked the looks of everything.

I moved on, ready to face and kill more mechs and complete my mission, which apparently was to find and destroy some "Goliath". I figured "Goliath" would translate to something like "real fucking big machine" and I got a destination marker on my map, which I supposed would be where the fight will take place. Every fight on the way was rather clunky on my part. I tried to get used to the game's mechanics and how they worked and took a lot of damage and used up a bunch of items in the meantime. I already noticed how there were a few alternative paths to take, which rewarded me with items, if I saw and took them. The game felt really immersive to me, I really got into the atmosphere and everything that was going on. Not much before I reached my first destination, I saw birds and a patch of green and when the birds flew away 2B slowed down and in disbelief mumbled "Are those..?" and 9S was like "You mean the birds? Yeah, there are more plants and animals here than there used to be" and I was feeling that moment.

I arrived at my destination. I had thought right. A boss fight took place. At this point, let me mention how much I like the music. Even in fights before that boss I already was lifted up by the music, featuring very distinct vocals and instrumentals which I really enjoy. It's hard for me to describe. Go give it a listen if you're interested in music, because it's fairly interesting (and good) music imo. Anyway, I died miserably after two giant sawblades hit me like 20 times in 5 attacks, because everything was way too much for me. Then, the game returned me to the main menu. I thought "wow, that looked quite hard. Weird it returned me to the main menu. But I'll restart at some kind of checkpoint for sure, right?" Let me tell you, I was wrong. I got returned to the very start, with the voice telling me how everything is designed to end and the shmup sequence. I looked at the time. I had played for like 40-45 minutes. I closed the game, mad, googling if that's actually what's supposed to happen, since the PC port, as I had noticed, did have some problems. Luckily nothing was spoiled storywise, but it was confirmed that that's what's supposed to happen.

I was pissed. I was going to go back to that guy and beat him up real bad. I jumped back in. The shmup sequence's controls came to me quite intuitively on the first run already, so that went equally good. When I got into the first fight on foot I noticed how it went much better than the first time. My determination to go and beat up the guy certainly helped with the speed I went through. Within 15-20 minutes I was at the same point I was at before, again fighting the boss. The sawblades-phase I died at before went flawless, if I recall correctly I didn't get hit once. It was a really satisfying feeling. That wasn't all there was to it though and the fight was a lot more than just beating up two sawblade-arms. It was a fun ~10 minute dance of kicking ass and getting ass kicked. However, I managed it. When I took the Goliath down, the game went into a cutscene, where I went to 9S' aid, who got badly damaged during the fight. There was some dialogue. The camera angle changed and I saw how there were 5 or 6 or something more of the same Goliaths surrounding the destroyed one we were chilling on. 9S held up a black cube and told me that the "black box" is ready. I had one too, I don't know if I didn't pay attention or if it wasn't introduced before, I didn't know what it was and where it came from. They triggered it, and everything blew up, including 2B, 9S and supposedly the Goliaths and the mech-producing factory the prologue took place in (not confirmed though).

The screen faded out and the next thing I know is that I was on some kinda space station. Everything seemed strange to me tbh. I just exploded right? So how did I get there? Dialogues happened, I learned that 2B and 9S are androids, that don't really die and even though we blew up ourselves, we simply were brought back. (I think for the sake of this moment of surprise + the message this sends combined with the opening dialogue of the game, the whole prologue had to be started over on death?) I encountered operators/commanders and other fighting units on that station called “Bunker”, which I imagine is going to be something like the main hub for the game. People told me I did great and stuff and sent me off to the next mission, to meet up with the human resistance on earth. To a stunning place introduced as “City Ruins”. I was allowed to roam around freely. There were more machines, but they were neutral/only hostile if I attacked. Plants everywhere and peaceful music.

I went exploring for a while, because I was amazed and wanted to look around before heading to the camp. I found loot lying around a lot, some hostile machines that I could kill without feeling too evil and saving points, which also provided map data. (I saved at every one obviously after the traumatic prologue death.) I didn’t have any problems with any encounters, though I found a couple of dead bodies by other players lying around the place. I approached enemies with care and was able to take them down smoothly. Eventually I went to the resistance camp and did some quests, but honestly it was more of a side thing. I was much more focused on absorbing the beautiful environment, exploring, enjoying the music and having fun. I afkd at least 10 minutes in the camp just listening to the music. Eventually while exploring I found an old rusty tower I could climb up, which I did and decided that beautiful sight was a great point to stop playing for the day.

Aight, that’s it for the write-up of my first session with NieR. I’ll be quite amazed if you actually read this far. It’s been fun writing this and I can’t wait to continue playing, haha. So far I’ve really enjoyed it and I absolutely can’t wait to fight the next boss and learn more about the story, even though I kinda also want to just explore everything around the City Ruins. I hope I’ll have the commitment to finish my diary throughout the whole game. I imagine it’ll be a lot to write once I start going for progress-heavy playing sessions, but I guess I’ll also get a little more routine into it and I’ll be much faster. We’ll see. If you did read up to here, I’ll admit that it would make me happy if you shared this, as I don’t have a real readership, but this has been a bit of effort and I imagine future entries to be as well and it would motivate me if people would read. No pressure though, I’m happy if you read this either way.

I’ll send you off with a listening recommendation, since I really love this song. Thanks for reading, cya.