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chestharrington · 5 months

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Infatuation || Gator Tillman x Reader

Part One: Fixation

Rating: E (18+)

Word Count: 7.9k

Warnings: SMUT (f!masturbation, fingering, unprotected p in v), mild/implied stalking, abuse of power, brief non-sexual choking, harassment, slut shaming, misogyny, unplanned pregnancy, implied/referenced abortion, unhappy/ambiguous ending

Summary: As you face the consequences of your unsatisfying encounter with Gator, he finds new ways to worm his way into your life, for better or worse.

A/N: Here is the highly requested part two :) Thanks for all the love, and I hope you enjoy! This can be read as a finale of sorts to this story, but if there is interest I can write a "wrap up" epilogue :) Anyways, enjoy!

As it turns out, Gator Tillman beating the guy you were dancing on within an inch of his life wasn’t exactly good for your career. And the fact that you had technically stolen that guy’s money was the shit icing on the shit cake.

The club was crowded, maybe more so than you were used to, but you couldn’t find a single patron who wanted you for a dance, or a private dance, or even a second of eye contact.

And, really, you should have seen it coming just based on the general trajectory of your life, but by the end of the night, you were fired. Apparently, that stint with the realtor and Gator had harmed the stellar reputation of the business. That was bullshit anyway. Like, four people had OD’d in the bathrooms, and plenty of old guys had heart attacks on the floor.

The problem wasn’t that the realtor got the shit beat out of him. No, plenty of guys came in, got drunk, and wanted to prove how tough they were. The problem was Gator, but, more than that, it was a fear of the Tillman’s getting too close.

You left the club with maybe thirty dollars in tips and a box full of your shit, which you unceremoniously dumped into the trunk of your car. It was past five in the morning, which meant the sun would start creeping over the horizon soon enough.

As you drove back into town, you couldn’t help but pull over at the twenty-four-hour diner. The homey interior glowed through the windows like a siren song to weary travelers. It always smelled like coffee and grease, and there were always oldies playing on the jukebox. You sat down in a booth and practically melted into the seat.

The older woman taking your order seemed nice enough, though there wasn’t anything about working at the asscrack of dawn that brought a smile to anyone’s face.

“Does Sarah still work here?” You asked, glancing back behind the counter.

“Quit.”

Well, there was that. Your ex-husband’s skanky mistress wouldn’t be showing her face to ruin your night (or, technically, your day) even further.

There was a sign on the counter— Now Hiring! Probably in Sarah’s position, if you had to wager a guess. You chewed on the inside of your lip. It wouldn’t be glamorous, but it would be a hell of a lot better than it had been at the club.

“You’re really hiring?” You eventually asked the older waitress as you nursed a cup of hot chocolate. When she brought out your meal— a big stack of pancakes and the greasiest pile of hash browns the world had ever seen— she placed an application and pen down right beside it.

They really must’ve been desperate, because you got the call the following afternoon that they’d like to interview, and even that wasn’t formal. You walked in, got a three-page employee “manual”, and that was that.

Things seemed to be getting better… at first. A new job that had significantly fewer creeps, and free food once a shift. You got to wear flat shoes and real clothes, which was also a plus. A little less money in your pocket, but it was more stable.

Occasionally, you’d get a tipper who thought it was cute to leave a fake $100 bill with a bible verse on the other side, or an old man grabbing at your tits and ass “accidentally.” Spills and messes were more frequent than you expected— and usually wound up on your apron or soaking through your shoes.

The good with the bad. You had to keep reminding yourself to take the good with the bad.

It was a few weeks of getting on your feet before Stark County’s finest walked through the doors, boisterous and loud. You hadn’t noticed, hadn’t even thought to consider that Gator might visit the town’s best source for greasy comfort food.

When you came out from the back of the diner, your eyes caught him immediately, sitting in your section. You swallowed, grabbed your order pad and a pen, and approached.

“Good mornin’, officers.” He looked up at the sound of your voice, a sly grin spreading across his features. “Do y’all know what you want, or can I run through the menu for you?”

One of the other men just snapped his fingers at you. “Coffee all around.”

You swallowed and nodded. “Yes, sir. I’ll get that right out.”

You heard them snickering as you left, accompanied by loud whispers of don’t you know who that is?

Gator was staring at you, maybe he had been the entire time and you just hadn’t let yourself look. “We’ve missed you at the club, sweetheart. Wanna give us a twirl for old time’s sake?” His grin was smarmy as he looked you up and down, reaching over the table to place down the mugs of coffee. Your blouse gaped open, giving him a glimpse of your cleavage and a remarkably unsexy comfy bra.

As you reached to place the last mug down, Gator slapped your ass hard, making you spill the hot coffee across the table. His little friends laughed as your face burned hot. You did your best to mop up the mess of coffee, but it wasn’t enough and the table was left sticky and gross.

“You’re not gonna get a good tip if you’re so clumsy,” one of them said with a grin, holding up a dollar bill. It felt slimy, like you were back in the club entertaining them for singles.

An hour later, you had coffee and grits spilled on you, as well as a plate accidentally knocked off the table to shatter on the floor. They laughed at you on your hands and knees, picking up pieces of the china from the black and white tiled floor. And at the end of it all, unsurprisingly, there was no tip, no thank you, no anything.

You wish you would’ve spit in their food, but there was always next time. And you knew there was gonna be a next time.

But Gator didn’t like sharing, especially not his playthings. One morning of watching his friends make your life hell had been enough, you supposed. The next time they came in, they were nothing but respectful. All yes ma’am, no ma’am, thank you ma’am. The message was clear enough. He wanted you all to himself.

After a day on your feet, all you wanted to do was watch a shitty reality show on the couch you’d stolen from your ex-husband. You smelled like the deep fryer, which made you nauseous, but you knew if you took a shower, you’d pass out shortly after.

There was a loud knock on your door that nearly made you jump out of your skin. You stood, wrapped a blanket around your shoulders, and opened the door just a crack.

“We got a tip that you might be harboring illegal contraband on the premises.” Gator was leaning against your doorframe like he owned the place, his foot carefully wedged between the door so you couldn’t slam it closed.

You grit your teeth. What bullshit. “You don’t have a search warrant, asshole.”

He gave a careless shrug. “Eh, maybe I don’t, but who fuckin’ cares about that?”

You stood firm, holding the door in place as best as you could while he pushed against it. “Gator, no. Whatever game this is, I don’t wanna play. I have a headache, and I’m exhausted, so—” He gave a firm push on the door, and your strength failed you. You fell to the side as he barreled his way in, making a beeline towards your bedroom.

The door slammed shut, followed by the click of the lock turning. With a groan, you went for the coat closet and retrieved a wire hanger that you could finagle the lock with. After a moment, the lock clicked again and you pushed your way into the room.

What the fuck? He was rifling through your dresser drawers, tossing things onto the ground at random. You doubted he was even really looking for anything in particular. Gator’s priority, above all, was to be a creepy nuisance.

“Gotta be thorough,” he said with a smarmy grin, finally recognizing your presence. “Interfere, and I’m bringing you in for obstruction.” Like the perv he was, he was digging through your panties, grabbing handfuls of lace and cotton. He continued on, throwing things onto the floor just to piss you off. After he’d successfully wrecked one dresser, he moved to the nightstand.

He smiled victoriously and dumped the contents of the drawer onto your bed. Your cheeks flamed with embarrassment at the sight of your modest collection of sex toys, right there for him to see.

“There we are. This goes against the city ordinance prohibiting the ownership of more than two personal pleasure devices,” he said matter-of-factly.

“That’s not a thing,” you argued with a scoff.

He grinned. “Oh, it is. My dad worked to codify an ordinance to fight obscenity. And Jesus Christ, sweetheart, this is obscene.” He surveyed the pile picking up the devices with amusement and a hint of disgust. “Jesus, you’re a fuckin’ fiend by the looks of it. What’s this even do?”

You grabbed at the vibrator in his hand, but he held it up above your head with a grin. “You’re a fuckin’ pervert,” You hissed.

He pressed a button and it buzzed to life, which only made his amusement grow. “You know, if you found yourself a man, you wouldn’t need any of this shit.”

You rolled your eyes at the notion. Half that stuff was collected during your marriage, not that it mattered. Jack was worse in bed than he was at being faithful. You grew to relish in the nights when he was in some other woman’s arms and you could finally find some release.

And you especially relished an opportunity to relax and relieve stress when Gator was hellbent on ruining your fucking life, which was all the time.

You crossed your arms and glared up at him. “That’s a crazy thing for you to say considering you didn’t even bother to get me off.”

He wrinkled his face in annoyance, dropping the vibrator back onto the bed. “What the fuck are you talkin’ about? You came probably, like, three times.”

You could have laughed. “Whatever. Just write the goddamn citation and leave me alone.”

“Maybe I’m concerned about you,” he said with a shrug. “I mean, if you’ve got this many sex toys, that’s some kind of perversion or somethin’. You’re sick in the head. What kind of officer would I be if I punished you for that?”

He grabbed another one off your bed, a rabbit vibrator this time, which only seemed to confuse him more. “Besides, I don’t think you can really afford the fine for breaking this law. I mean, with what you’ve got here, you’re looking at thousands.”

Anger flooded your veins. “Bullshit,” You snapped. “You’re lying.”

“I mean, you can find out tomorrow,” he replied with another stupid fucking shrug. “Or I can forget I ever saw ‘em. Up to you.”

You swallowed hard, already getting a warm, overbearing feeling in the pit of your stomach. Like your body wasn't sure if it wanted to jump his bones or kill him. “And what exactly would make you do that?”

He smiled, showing off his canines. “I mean… now I’m a little curious. Tell me how you use some of ‘em.” He waved the rabbit in his hand. “This one especially. Looks like some kind of fucked up torture device.”

You huffed with annoyance and reached up, grabbing it from his hands. “This one, I mean… this part goes in, and this part stays out.” You explained with vague gestures toward the toy. You grabbed another off the bed. “And this one is, like, just a standard, like, you know. It buzzes. And that one like, kind of thrusts a little bit. I—I don’t know what the fuck else to tell you.” Just seeing him standing there beside the toys made your brain go a little fuzzy with desire and mortification.

He stepped closer, closing the distance between the two of you. “I think I’m more of a visual learner, sweetheart,” he said, his voice low. He reached up, brushing a lock of your hair from your face, and you did your best not to lean into his touch. Why did you want that? “So why dontcha take off your clothes, lay back, and do a little show and tell, huh?”

The moment of hesitation in your brain dissolved in an instant. You wrinkled your face in disgust and shoved him back. “Ugh. Fuck that, and fuck you.”

Anger flashed across his face, only for a moment, before he masked it with his usual shithead attitude. “Oh… I get it,” he said, looking down at you. “Probably on your period with all the attitude you’re givin’ me. Forget it, I don’t even wanna see that nasty shit.”

You narrowly avoided him as he shoved past you, heading back towards the door. The scales of kiss versus kill had firmly tilted towards the latter at his last comment. Anger unlike anything you’d ever felt flooded your veins.

Without thinking, you grabbed a book off of the coffee table in the living room and threw it at him as hard as you could. It collided with the back of his head and he swore loudly.

“You’re fuckin’ crazy!” His hand went to the crown of his head and came back covered in blood. “What the fuck is wrong with you, you stupid bitch?” You grabbed another book and raised a brow in challenge. “Whatever, you’re not even worth it anyway.”

He slammed the door on his way out. The squeal of his tires as he peeled out was music to your ears.

Later, you sighed as you collapsed atop your bed, exhausted from the long process of cleaning up the disaster he’d left in your room. But despite how tired you felt physically, your mind was still racing with thoughts of Gator.

The worst person you’d ever met, who somehow still managed to light every single one of your cells aflame with need. You didn’t want to be with him, obviously. He reminded you of all the worst parts of your ex-husband. And yet… you were staring at the ceiling thinking about the next time you’d see him and all the bitchy things you could get away with saying to him.

With a huff, you reached into your bedside table and grabbed the first vibrator you could get your hands on— simple, without any bells and whistles. Whatever. You were pissed at yourself as you stripped off your pajamas, then your bra… and then your panties.

Stupid fuckin’ man. Your head fell back against your pillows as soon as the vibrator touched your clit, and you couldn’t help the whiny moan that escaped your lips. Your free hand rested on your breast, kneading softly until it wasn’t enough anymore.

Your legs spread wider, hips canting up to seek out more as you began pinching and tugging at your nipples. The plain vibe wasn’t close cutting it, even at its highest setting. All it was good for was working you up to the point of dripping with arousal and needing more.

You clicked it off and sighed, rubbing a hand over your face. Maybe he was right. Maybe you were a little sick in the head. Why else would you be thinking about him right then?

You reached back into the drawer, fumbling blindly until you retrieved the rabbit. It slid in without any resistance with how worked up you were, and you let out a contented sigh at the full feeling.

The second you turned it on, it felt like liquid electricity was dancing through your veins. The external vibrator was positioned just right, so intense that your thighs were trembling.

“Oh, fuck,” you whimpered, back arching slightly. Maybe you could’ve let him watch you. It would’ve taught the asshole what it actually looks like when a woman cums.

You could almost imagine what he’d say too— encouragements veiled with insults. Takin’ it like a fuckin’ slut, aren’t ya? Look right at home on your back like that, spread out all nice and pretty.

You thrust the toy shallowly, eyes rolling back as it brushed against your sweet spot. You could’ve really drawn it out and made an evening of it, but fuck it. You wanted to get off and go to sleep.

You held it just right, so the vibration was focused on your g-spot and clit simultaneously. It was so intense that your moans were pitchy and whiny, hips canting as you got closer and closer.

With a moan more like a sob, you came, the pleasure so intense you had to pull out the toy altogether. As soon as it was out, wetness sprayed from you, making a breathless moan slip past your lips.

Your fingers rubbed at your clit, prolonging the orgasm and making your cunt gush and leave a puddle beneath you on the sheets. When you finally came down, it was with shaky breaths as your body trembled with aftershocks.

You laughed weakly at the ridiculousness of the entire night up until that point, unable to move for a solid few minutes until the fog cleared from your mind and you reached over to turn off the toy. Your legs wobbled as you stood to clean yourself up and change the sheets.

Well, at least if you were going to get arrested for possession of obscene materials, you got the best orgasm of your life out of it. If only you hadn’t been thinking of him the entire time.

——

By noon the following day, you hadn’t received any citation, or been walked out of the diner in handcuffs for your depravity. A quick Google search proved your suspicions that the obscenity ordinance was complete bullshit. Which, you know, made sense considering the sex shop and strip clubs within county lines.

When Gator showed up in his regular booth towards the end of your shift, you did your best to ignore him. One of your coworkers brought him out his artery-clogging usual order, and you were mostly convinced that you might be able to slip out the back without even having to utter a word.

And yet… Outside, Gator was leaning on your car, fucking around with your radio antenna absentmindedly.

“Can I help you, Deputy?” You asked, arms crossed as you squinted against the sun. Your entire body was achy and you just wanted to get home.

He made a vague gesture towards the front bumper. “Headlight’s out.”

You glanced at the front of your car, which was mostly held together by zebra print duct tape and sheer force of will. “Yeah, well, some fuckin’ pervert told me I should save my money to pay for some citation he’s writing up for me.”

Gator grinned. “Oh yeah… I decided to let you off with a warning. For the assault too. My head fuckin’ hurts, you know.” You rolled your eyes, pushing him lightly so you could open your door. “Y’know, you’re being ungrateful. Why don’t you be a good girl and say, ‘Thank you, Gator.’”

You hated the way your heart raced just hearing those words coming from his mouth, but you pushed it down and pulled open the door. “Go fuck yourself, asshole.”

A smug smile spread across his lips. “That’s an interesting choice of words, isn’t it? Bet you had a real good night after I left, didn’t ya?”

He was looking at you like he knew, which he couldn’t have, but he also definitely did. You made a face as you slammed the door shut and flipped him off through the cracked and peeling window tint.

There was one bar in town that was a certified Gator-free zone. Apparently, he’d gotten into a nasty fight there, slammed a guy’s head into a pool table a few times, sent him to the ICU for a week. Most people don’t realize that the actual table part is made of a giant slab of slate, but a lot was learned that day.

You sat at the bar, eyes trained on the photo of Gator on the Do Not Serve bulletin board. He could be kind of handsome when he wanted to. In that picture he looked a little younger, a little more serious. Maybe a little softer if you really wanted to believe it (which you did).

Maybe it was the fact that you had conned the guy beside you into buying you all your drinks (of which there had been plenty) or maybe it was the weird mood you’d been in for the past month, but you really wanted to just wash all of that gel out of his hair and wash his face and maybe buy him a pair of pants with the normal amount of pockets.

“Did you hear what I said?” The guy sitting beside you— Noah? Nathan?— asked.

You tore your gaze from the photo and turned to him, batting your eyes a few times for good measure. “Sorry, I think I’m just a little buzzed.” You smiled flirtatiously and nudged his arm with your own. “You were talking about… a trip to New York, right? Some sort of walking tour?”

He smiled, nodding enthusiastically before continuing, going on and on about things you were mostly half-listening to. He was smarter than most people you talked to, not surprising after you clocked the giant gold college ring on his hand. Mid-conversation, you grabbed his hand in yours and marveled at it, playing up how impressed you were just to make him feel important.

His family is from around here, but he lived in Minneapolis. He was in town visiting while his mom was recovering from surgery. He showed you pictures of the cows on his mom’s land, of the view from his apartment, and of the dog that was waiting for him back at his mom’s place. He was sweet, which made you feel guilty for using him to forget all about Gator.

“Do you want to maybe come back to mine?” You asked, playing at bashfulness. He nodded enthusiastically, looking like you’d just offered him a winning lottery ticket.

In bed, he was generous and eager to please, making sure your needs had been taken care of before his pants were even off. You were so worked up and sensitive that you came twice from his mouth alone, not that he was even particularly that great with it. And then he was inside of you, and you came again, which probably gave him quite the ego.

It had to be some kind of fluke. He was a sweet guy, but he wasn’t exactly a sex god.

But there you were, boneless and panting and flushed and sweaty as you both came down. He was red in the face, fumbling for his glasses so he could really see you.

He wanted to talk and stay up the rest of the night with you, which should’ve been nice. Really, you wanted to be excited. He even tried to ease you into his arms, hold you against him all nice and cozy.

You couldn’t fucking do it.

“I’m just gonna grab some water, alright?” You said before hopping out of bed. Your robe was slung over the back of a papasan chair in the corner. You tied it loosely and made your way out of the bedroom. Needing space, and distance, and god, you didn’t even know.

A sane person would have turned back around, spent time with him, and gotten to know him better. Maybe even wake him up in the morning with coffee and pancakes, or a second round in the shower. But you just wanted to be alone.

The knock on your door shouldn’t have been surprising. You had been pretty loud, even louder than the previous night alone. You tied the robe a little tighter and went for the front door, opening it a crack.

“Look, I’m sorry, I know we were l—“ You trailed off when you caught a glimpse of who was outside. “You’re kidding me.”

Gator stood on the porch, arms crossed and looking irritable. “Got a noise complaint,” he said, glancing between you and the house behind you. “You alone?”

“No,” you replied, crossing your arm. “Not that it’s any of your business.”

He scowled at that, and you recognized the way he was feeling almost immediately. Oh, he was jealous. A tiny laugh escaped you, which only served to piss him off more.

“What’s so fuckin’ funny, huh?”

“Nothin’,” you replied with a shrug. “Is that all, deputy?”

He puffed on his vape and the sickeningly sweet smell of watermelon or cotton candy or whatever the fuck made your stomach turn. You gagged, mouth turning into a frown. “Do you have to blow that shit right in my face?”

“Nope,” he said while repeating the same action. The smell was overwhelming. You could almost feel alarm bells going off inside. “Whatever. Better go on and send your fuck buddy back to whatever hole he crawled out of.”

In the back of your mind, you could hear Gator going on and on, talking about how he bet Noah (how did he know his name?) didn’t even make you cum, and that his dick was small, and he’s probably just some big city loser who comes out here for an easy fuck. But that was in the back of your mind. All you were focused on was the overwhelming smell of sugar as he fucking huffed his vape, and the sinking feeling in your gut.

Nausea clawed up your throat, and a familiar feeling of panic settled over you. You clapped your hand over your mouth, but it was no use. The contents of your stomach spilled onto the floor as you vomited right onto Gator’s boots.

He swore loudly and colorfully, stepping out of the puddle at his feet. You wiped at your mouth weakly, and you would’ve said something like I fucking told you so, but you just felt awful.

“That’s so gross,” was all you could offer. “‘M sorry, Gator.”

And then you were crying your eyes out, and he was walking you inside so you could sit down, and that made you cry more.

“Jesus, you’re moody, huh?” He asked, but the bite in his voice was nearly gone. “Stay here, alright? Before you make an even bigger mess.”

You sniffled and nodded. You saw Noah stepping into the living room, wearing his actual clothes again, which was a relief. You didn’t really want Gator seeing him naked.

“Is everything okay?” He asked, taking a few steps forward.

“I’m fine, I’m just embarrassed,” you said, voice croaky with tears. “I just got sick from the drinking, I think.”

There was a noise from the kitchen and Noah furrowed his brows. “You have a roommate?”

“No, he’s—“ you trailed off, unsure of what to say. “He was here to handle a noise complaint, and I kind of puked on his shoes.”

Gator walked into the room, then paused at the sight of Noah. His face furrowed in blatant judgment. He handed you a sprite, then went straight back to staring at Noah.

“Who’re you?” Gator asked, his arms crossed like a club bouncer.

“I’m Nick.” Oh. Well, at least you were close.

“You should head out, dick,” he said, standing taller, trying to appear more imposing than he really was.

Noah glanced at you and hesitated until you gave a tiny nod. “I had a good time,” you offered. “Sorry about… all of this.”

He scribbled his phone number onto your grocery list by the door, offered a wave, and then headed out, leaving you and Gator alone. For better or worse.

It was quiet as you sipped your sprite, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“Are you pregnant?” He asked suddenly. “And don’t fuckin’ lie.”

“What?”

“You’re acting all bipolar, and you're puking over my vape, and your tits look bigger.” You glanced down at your boobs with a frown. They did?

“I’m not pregnant,” you replied defensively. “I got my period, like, right after we fucked.”

He shook his head. “I don’t believe you. You wanna know what I do believe?” You didn’t, but he was going to tell you. “That you pocketed the money for the Plan B, ‘cause you want to get pregnant and blackmail my family.”

You scoffed. “You’re out of your goddamn mind.”

His jaw ticked with annoyance as he looked down at you. “Take a test.”

“Whatever,” you said with a shrug. “I’ll buy one after my shift tomorrow if you’re so fuckin’ worried about it.”

He shook his head. “Fuck that,” he said while tapping away on his phone. “You’ll just lie about it. I’m doordashing this shit.”

You would’ve protested, but what was the point in that? You had nothing to hide— certainly not blackmail. The idea of purposely letting yourself get knocked up by Gator Tillman almost made you want to puke again.

You had finished your Sprite by the time the poor kid arrived, probably seventeen, with his face burning red as he handed Gator a bag from the twenty-four-hour convenience store. Gator slammed the door and dumped the contents of the bag on the coffee table.

Two boxes of pregnancy tests, a monster energy drink, and a pack of cheese bugles.

You grabbed the boxes and trudged towards the bathroom attached to your room while Gator followed close behind. You went to shut the door, but he held it open.

“No fuckin’ way,” he said firmly. “If I leave you’ll just fake it.”

You rolled your eyes, the irritability you felt close to reaching a boiling point. “I’m not pregnant! I don’t want to be pregnant, least of all with your fuckin’ kid!”

When he didn’t move, and, to his credit, stayed completely stoic. You huffed and turned. “If you’re not gonna leave, you can be useful. Hand me one of the little cups beneath the sink. Next to the mouthwash.” He furrowed his brows, but obeyed. “I’m not pissing in front of you.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’ve seen worse.” You closed your eyes, doing your best to ignore him and just pee into the fucking cup. The whole situation was so infuriating that you just wanted to scream. Once your shy bladder got over itself, it was easy enough. Dip the tests in the cup, cap them again, lay them out and try to forget they’re there.

You’d taken plenty over the course of your marriage— and you hoped for the same result then that you did before.

“What’d it say?” Gator asked as you washed your hands. He was squinting down at the tests, trying to discern what was happening.

“It’s not instant. You’ve gotta wait three minutes,” you said. After drying your hands, you looked at him again.

Really looked. He was all fidgety, a little pale. His lip was bleeding where he’d been biting at it. He was just as anxious as you were, but you doubted it was for the reason he was saying.

“You kind of want one, don’t you?” You asked, meeting his gaze.

He scoffed. “No. I hate kids,” the words came out quickly, defensively. He was lying, and he was just as bad at it then as he was every time before. “Besides, what the fuck would I tell my dad if I knocked up a stripper?”

His words should’ve had some bite to them, but he just reminded you of a skittish animal lashing out at anything near it. You leaned against the doorframe and sighed. “You’re pushing thirty, Gator. Who fuckin’ cares what your dad thinks about you?” Gator rolled his eyes, because you just didn’t get it, or whatever. But you knew plenty about outrunning parents and the weight of expectations. About outrunning the weight of not being what they wanted.

You looked at him again, narrowing your eyes. “What do you really want, huh? Outside of making my life hell, terrorizing the town, and making your daddy proud?” You paused, but were met with silence. “If you’d just try to be a decent human being for once, you might find a nice girl who wants to be with you.”

“And that asshole you brought back here and fucked was decent, huh?”

“I think so, yeah,” you replied.

“And you’re gonna see him again? ‘Cause he’s so nice?”

“No, Gator, I’m not gonna see him again,” you said sharply. “I’m not, because he deserves better than a second night with someone who didn’t want to be around him.”

Before he could respond, the timer on your phone went off, louder in the tiled bathroom. Your hands fumbled as you turned it off, heart pounding with nerves.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ, just look,” Gator said, clearly annoyed by your hesitance. You watched him flip them over, one by one, all reading the same result.

Positive. Positive. Positive. Positive.

Gator squinted at the lines, then at the back of the box, a few times until it settled in.

“Goddamn it!” He shouted, slamming a hand against the counter. You flinched, but couldn’t bring yourself to react further than that. “I told you to take a fucking Plan B, didn’t I?”

You swallowed hard, doing your best to remain calm. “You did, and I did. Maybe, if you didn’t want to knock me up, you should’ve pulled out like I told you.”

He rolled his eyes. “You know, it probably isn’t even mine,” he said, glaring in your direction. “You let that asshole from the bar cum in you tonight?”

Your cheeks burned hot. “You’re disgusting,” you sneered. “And, no. I don’t make a habit of letting guys fuck me raw.”

He rolled his eyes. “Oh, but you were so willing to give it up for me, huh?” He grabbed your arm, hard for the briefest second before his grip softened. “See, this is why I know you’re tryin’ to fuck my family over.”

You gave an exasperated groan and yanked your arm out of his grasp. “One, you didn’t pull out. Two, how exactly am I gonna blackmail your family if there’s no baby, you fucking idiot?”

His expression softened slightly as he considered your words. His brows furrowed in confusion, as he looked back at the tests. “Those are all positive, that means you’re pregnant.”

You gave a long exhale and met his gaze. “And it’s early enough that I can still have it taken care of. Maybe not in this fuckin’ state, but my car can still make a trip to Minnesota. Probably.”

He processed the words and the implications before shaking his head. “No.”

You raised a brow, taken off-guard by that single word. “I’m sorry?”

He shook his head. “I said no. You’re not doin’ it.”

You scoffed incredulously, blinking away your confusion. “Five seconds ago you wanted to punch through my drywall because you thought you were being blackmailed. Now you suddenly care about the sanctity of life? Give me a break. You nearly beat that guy to death in front of me at the club, and from what I’ve heard, you’ve done worse than that.”

”It’s different,” he argued, annoyed that you called out his hypocrisy. “It’s mine, so I should have some sort of say.”

You swallowed hard, staring at the curtains near the window so you could avoid his eyes. “Exactly. It’s yours. I don’t want to have your baby, Gator. I don’t want to bring another goddamn Tillman into the world.”

He had you pressed against the wall before you even had a second to realize he was moving. Your head knocked against the drywall, making you yelp. One hand was wrapped around your throat, keeping you pinned to the wall with a light amount of force. “I could stop you,” he finally said. “I mean… really stop you. Make it so you can’t leave. Could keep you at the ranch, make sure you don’t do anything stupid.”

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t, because that would mean involving his father. Knocking up a stripper doesn’t exactly give men like his father warm and fuzzy feelings.

When you swallowed, your throat bobbed against the palm of his hand. Your eyes trailed up, landing on his as your breathing came out in pants.

His mouth was on yours suddenly, claiming you with a searing kiss. His tongue forced its way into your mouth, making you moan.

He’d never kissed you before, not once. You hadn’t even thought he’d want to. But there he was, groaning into your mouth as he made out with you.

“Gator—“ you gasped as he ground against you, already rock hard without any real coaxing. He shut you up with another kiss, hungry and messy.

You got the message— no more talking about that. He pulled the tie of the robe you wore and it fell onto the ground in a pile, leaving you completely bare.

He pulled back from the kiss, eyes raking over your body hungrily. Big hands traced over your skin, making you shiver. A gasp escaped you as he squeezed your tits.

“They really are bigger,” he said with a wry laugh.

“Shut up,” you snapped, head knocking against the wall as you tossed it back.

“You’ve got a bad fuckin’ attitude. But I can fix that.” One of his hands moved down your body, cupping your cunt, fingers dipping into the pool of your arousal. “You get this soaked for that asshole?”

You whimpered as his fingertips teased your entrance, just shy of everywhere you needed him. Just shy of slipping inside, purposely avoiding your clit. He locked eyes with you, his gaze intense.

“Don’t be shy, you can tell the truth,” he said, continuing to tease with featherlight touches. You could feel just how wet you were getting— dripping embarrassingly down your thighs.

“Only ‘cause I thought about you,” you admitted. A sly grin spread across your face. You’d never let him have an easy win. “You’d probably be one of the best fucks I ever had if you bothered to make me cum.”

“Don’t fuckin’ piss me off,” he said with an eye roll. He thrust his middle finger inside of you, and you moaned softly. “Such a goddamn liar.”

He was a little more gentle with you, despite, well, everything. Warming you up with one finger before adding a second. Moans fell from your lips as he curled them just right, the cocky expression he wore told you he was dead set on proving that he really was top-ten material.

His thumb brushed against your clit, making your legs tremble. You couldn’t help but clench around his fingers, your entire body overwhelmed with need. Maybe it was hormones, or maybe it was all the tension between you, but your entire body was aching for him.

“Close,” you gasped out. Your open, panting mouth was like an invitation. He kissed you deeply, his tongue licking into your mouth as he continued fucking you with his fingers. When he pulled back, his eyes locked with yours.

“That’s it,” he practically cooed. “C’mon, give it to me.” You moaned, walls clenching around his fingers as you grew closer and closer to the edge. He tried to pull his hand from between your thighs, but you grabbed his wrist and shook your head.

“Gator, don’t fuckin’ stop until I tell you to.” His cheeks went pink, eyes flashing with something unfamiliar.

Your moans grew pitchy as you got closer, hips canting against his fingers, shoulders digging into the wall as your back arched off of it.

You barely had time to gasp out a feeble, “‘m cumming!” Before your climax hit.

Broken moans escaped you as pleasure radiated through you. His fingers kept their pace, and every brush of his thumb on your clit made spots dance across your vision. When you were finally spent, you had to tap his wrist weakly. “Okay, that’s enough,” you managed.

He was coated down to his wrist with sticky arousal, which made you look away with heat burning in your cheeks, chest heaving as you tried to catch your breath.

He grabbed your jaw and turned your face back to look at him, wearing a smug expression. “Don’t act all shy now. Tell me you want more.” Bold of him to assume he could make you cum again. But you nodded anyway. You’d like to see him try, at least.

“I want more,” you said, even though it killed you to just give in so easily. His thumb brushed against your bottom lip, before he pressed a little more and breached the pouty seal of your lips.

“Yeah? Your friend didn’t wear you out before this?” He asked, his voice dripping with a false sense of concern. He pushed his thumb a little deeper, pressing down on your tongue while you sucked on it. You had a pretty good sense of what he was getting at, but a hot need was bubbling up in your stomach and you couldn’t deny yourself any longer. “I’m just saying, sweetheart. Takin’ two cocks in one night is… well, it’s pretty fuckin’ slutty.”

At his words, you bit down on his thumb until he withdrew it with an annoyed huff. “You wanna leave?” You asked, raising a brow. He shook his head. You stepped around him, settling in the middle of the bed. “Take your clothes off then.”

He was quick to undress, clumsy in his haste. His vest knocked against the wall and sent a picture frame tumbling off its hook. He stripped off piece after piece in a sort of never-ending Russian doll until he was finally naked and standing there waiting for you to compliment him, or something.

You took in the sight of him hungrily, and the hormonal neediness of it all made you want him more than you had before. “You’ll do,” was all you said, smirking as he pinned you down against the mattress.

“You’re such a bitch,” he said, but there wasn’t any real malice in his tone. Actually, you were pretty sure he liked it about you. You spread your legs to accommodate him, shivering as he rocked his hips just so and let the head of his cock brush against your folds. “But you want me so bad, huh? Just need me to fuck that attitude out of you, don’t you?”

You whimpered when he pressed himself against your center, only letting the tip slip inside briefly before pulling back out. He raised a brow, wanting to hear you beg.

”Gator, if you don’t get inside me, I’ll call Nick to finish the job.”

You would have laughed at how quickly he buried himself within you after that if the force of it hadn’t punched the air from your lungs. His pace was brutal, and the sound of his hips slapping against the plush of your thighs with each rough thrust made sheepishness settle warm in your chest.

“You act like— fuck— like you don’t want me, but I don’t think this pussy got that memo.” A smirk played at his lips as he railed into you, soft grunts punctuating each thrust in. You wrapped your legs around him, pressing with your heels to encourage him deeper.

He was such a self-assured asshole, but, fuck, if that didn’t turn you on. He had one of your hands pinned to the bed, fingers tangled with yours.

“Go ahead and touch yourself,” Gator instructed.

He didn’t have to tell you twice. As soon as the words passed his lips, you moved your free hand between your thighs to circle your clit. The feeling was damn near euphoric. Breathy moans fell from your lips as your head fell back against the pillows.

And Gator was fucking eating it up.

“That feel good, huh?” His voice was breathy; his words were punctuated with moans and fucked-out pants. “Squeezin’ me so fuckin’ tight, sweetheart. You’re really lovin’ this, huh? Bet you wanna be stuffed full of this cock every day. Coulda had this again a lot sooner if ya weren’t such a bitch all of the time.”

You could feel yourself reaching your finish, but you couldn’t find the words to tell him. Each moan slipping past your lips was even more debauched than the last as he buried himself inside your needy cunt.

“It’s too much, huh?” He asked, fucking you with a relentless need to cum. With each thrust his cock kissed your cervix. “You can take it, can’t you? Made just to take this cock inside your needy little pussy.”

Your eyes rolled back as your walls clamped around him, your finish so close you could have sobbed with relief. You came with a cry of his name, which would have been mortifying, had you been in a mindset to retain your pride.

“F-Fuck—“ He cried out, his hips stuttering. “Holy fuckin’ shit— gonna cum— fuck—“ He buried himself in you with one final, rough thrust before he went still, collapsing atop you with his full body weight.

He laid there, panting hot breath against your neck until he came back to his senses. He gave one final wet kiss to your throat before rolling over with a pleased sigh.

“You finally know what it feels like,” you mused, staring up at the ceiling.

Gator furrowed his brows as he turned to look at you. “I’ve fucked you before, it’s nothin’ special this time.”

Gee, thanks. “I meant you finally know what it feels like for a girl to cum while you’re inside her.” You grinned as you watched annoyance twist his features. He rolled his eyes with a huff, but didn’t seem too pissed off at your jab.

It was contentedly quiet until you remembered the pregnancy tests sitting on the counter just one room over. Your stomach twisted with guilt as you looked over at him, his hair a little messy, cheeks flushed from exertion.

It would’ve been nice if things were different.

“I’m moving,” you said finally. “Back to Texas, I think. Maybe even somewhere new. As soon as I’ve saved enough for a down payment.”

Gator turned quickly, anger making his brows furrow. “Leaving?”

You swallowed hard. “I’m getting out of Lehigh, and I think you should too. This place is poison. You know that.”

You watched him swallow, jaw ticking as he stayed quiet. You let the quiet linger in the air, nearly choking on it before he finally spoke. “This is where I belong.”

You nodded and said nothing else. When you woke up in the morning, his arms were around you, and he was drooling into the junction of your shoulder. His hand, flat on your tummy, almost made you yearn for that picture-perfect Tillman family, the one he thought he wanted so badly.

You couldn’t bring yourself to wake him up. When he left, he didn’t say a thing. It felt definite.

#hiiiiiii <3 #gator tillman x reader #gator tillman fanfic #gator tillman smut #okay that's all enjoy <3

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charmedreincarnation · 1 year

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Ya bitch got into the void state

Champagne anon here and your mf girlll got in the mf void state and manifested her dream life. This happened a week ago, and I’ve been chilling but I do wanna share my story to help others. Gotta give Thanks to Maya, and so many other bloggers and even anon. Y’all hoes will forever be in my heart, and I’m forever grateful 🥹 also Maya girl you told me when I succeed to get into detail and I got nothing to do for the next two hours so imaaa just share it all here in detail.

I also wanna especially thank all the black creators on tumblr!! I didn’t know there were so many of us using the law. It always seems the world is so against us, and there’s nothing we can do abt it but nahhhh!! we can all live our best melanated lives regardless. Periodt, as we should it’s about goddamned time after everything we’ve been though 😂

Anyways!!!! after reading this: https://www.tumblr.com/charmedreincarnation/717864613626134528/im-your-bubble-anon-but-i-made-this-burner-to success story yesterday I got hella motivated. I read that shit and I thought I posted it on accident because it was everything I had been through, and had been thinking anyways. That anon ate your tumblr habits btw. If y’all haven’t seen my good sis’s sucess post go check that shut out rn, On god it will help.

At the end that anon (my mf dawg 🙏) included that they manifested for everyone. Now ion know if that shit actually work tbh. I’ve seen people say you can and can’t, but tbh the vibes were too high for me to doubt. I was like ight, okay fuck it, ima leave my dream life. Whether it me, that anon, or the devil himself ion give a fuck.

So that’s whatssss a bitch did!!! I just affirmed all day it was very fulfilling. People who hate on affirming are mad corny. I can’t lie that shit works hella fast even if you don’t believe it. Idk if that anon’s void manifesting helped or what but I didn’t do much and after 3 months of trying I entered the damn void state. I’m mad I thought I had to be on some ghandi shit to do this (no hate to him hes da man) but you rlly don’t y’all. BUT LEMME TALK MY SHIT ALL YOU NEED IS AFFIRMING AND PERSISTENCE.

Anyways I went go bed excited asl!! I wrote my script that was like 10 pages long I can’t lie I did the most… but it’s whateva. I woke up in the void state after waking up at 4 am or sum, and i was like oh shityyyt lemme manifest rq and skrttt out this hoe. So that’s what a mf did 😂😂

Anyways the part y’all’s is waiting for. This is what ya girl manifested

Desired face and body. I was in shock how all the details came to life. Y’all im a solid 100/10 it’s giving natural bbl and Aliyah. I swear to gahhh everywhere I go people be trying to peep. I’m not used to being treated like a fucking celeb everywhere I go, whole time it’s just my fat gyattttt

Being the hottest 16 yr old IT GIRL at my school, and having lucky girl syndrome. People call me a mini jayda wayda, but tbh I’m better than her now. No hoe is ever gonna cheat on meee like they did her…bye. She’s still gorgeous as fuck tho

Perfect school life. Your girl is set to be the Valedictorian when I graduate (my school has 4!) I’m also sophomore year President, captain of the basketball team, apart of some volunteer programs through my school, and so much more. My resume and college application is abt to be so fuckin fire in 2 years. As I should Columbia is a competitive ass school 😤😤 that aside everyone always tryna link, I got 3 guys fighting over me (whole damn love square), so many people tryna be my friends, teachers love me, and I excel in everything I do.

My Family being rich assss fuck. My dad got a Wikipedia now and his net worth is 22 million dollars. He owns a hedge fund company now, we love a man in finance 😍😍 AS HE FUCKING SHOULD. He got a material gurlll daughter. Two in fact now.

Fire ass crib. Bro it’s a 9 million dollar penthouse, perfect for ragers. I woke up here and my room is decorated to my personality, pintrest clothes all in my closet, I got an exotic pitbull and frenchie, and the house is just mad clean and fire, I’m obsessed with it. Rarely ever wanna leave now.

My mom not being strict. That bald headed ass hoe use to be mad annoying. Y’all know how Haitians are. Mad annoying as fuck and strict for no reason. Now I go out everyday and come home at midnight and no one gives a fuck. Everyone minds their own business as they should.

Having an older brother and younger sister. I was an only child, because I was a miracle baby bc my mom was infertile. Now she got 3 of us, so she can stop being only in my buisness. I’m just playin I love my mom regardless she’s just hella clingy. Anyways my brother is mad protective but also be wrestling mad aggressive for no damn reason. He gave me a bruise but it’s whateva Ima get my lick back. I also always wanted to be an older sister, bc I’d love to be a role model! My sister is 10 and adores me soo much it’s so adorable 🥹 lmfaooo, she’s mad spoiled by me and my mom but it is what it is.

Successful lip gloss business and being a successful drop shipper. Now you didn’t think a sista wasn’t gonna give herself a career just because I’m young right 🤨🤨 we’ll ya wrong. Ya girl is making 200k-400k a year. I barely even use my money cause I got an allowance from my parents… but still, financial literacy and wealth is so important to me especially as a black woman.

A pookie bae. Y’all know I wasn’t gonna deal with finding a loyal cute and funny guy in nyc. It’s like finding a needle in a haystack. Anyways I got me a fine ass boo. I just wrote down all the features I wanted in him like for exampleS finically secure so he can spoil me, handsome as fuck, tall, funny asl, kind, little clingy, deep raspy voice, nice hand, good hygiene and style,yanno yanooo !!! Plus some other shit and whewww the void did me so good. Nowww my boo bear is a lil cracker and I’ve never dated a white boy befuh but my am I surprised. I wake up everyday with some long ass appreciation texts and plans already made ! Y’all know I love me a dominant man who knows what he wants. He’s got some nice ass clothes, nice car and crib, made me a passenger princess and spoils me way too much. He doesn’t complain abt my mood swings and simps in the best way possible. Not to mention he’s fine afkkk he’s giving vinnie hacker. He’s also 6’1 and I’m 5’1 so that height difference is soooo hot I can’t lie I feel so so safe with him 🫣 I could go on all day but in short he’s more than perfect

+ so much more but this is what shocked me the most. Anyways I’ve been living like this for the past week and it just feel so natural. I keep forgetting I got into the void but whateva I’m the only who knows anyways. Anyways live yo best life and neva give upppp. I gotta go but I’ll probably eventually make a blog. My names angela so look out for it. I’m just mad lazy soo idk tho !!!

Angela out 🫡✌️

Girl this was so fun to read, I’m just as excited for you lmfao. I love seeing black women win, and thank you for sharing your methods! Enjoy your best life and come back if it resonates with your life bae !!!

#law of assumption #manifesation #manifesting #void state #law of attraction #void success

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thecapricunt1616 · 3 months

Text

The Bear & His Honey - Chapter 19

Blurb (More BTC): “Baby you’re stressed- I hear it in your voice let’s go have a cigarette mm?” I gently touch his shoulder and he rolled it to get me to stop “Jesus y’fucking needy. I said no! I fuckin quit, ok? Do you need me to say it 3 fucking times so that you remember I told you? I quit. I fucking quit, okay? has it sunk into your fuckin memory? Ok, good Now get out of my fuckin face. There’s no available seats, and I don’t have time to fuck around and listen t’you talk about bull” he went right back to plating the food and my mouth drops a bit.

♡ Chapter Inspo: "You're Losing Me" - Taylor Swift ♡ Summary: Carmy is dead set on getting a star because he thinks it will assure Syd will stay at the restaurant. Winnie is sick and tired of his attitude lately ♡ W/C: 11.1K+ ♡ A/N: Hello everyone !!! It has been a while since we have visited Carmy and Winnie! Most of you are new here, I don't think i've posted a TB&HH chapter since I had like 100 something followers? Anyhow, this is my OC fic! I hope you enjoy it. You can find the landing page right here if you'd like to read from the beginning / catch up on the last chapter By the way i'm still doing my 300 celebration blackout bingo if you wanted to send in a request! Or if none of those tickle your fancy I have a list of prompts, as well as my rules here on my masterlist! Or, If you just wanna talk i'm always here! ♡ Warnings for BTC: Swearing, Kinda verbally abusive behavior, Sad!Winnie, Alcohol/Drug use, Asshole!Carmy (thanks S3!!!)

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡ ➵ My 300 Follower Celebration Bingo! ➵ Catch up on Chapter 18!

It had been 3 weeks since Carmy had seen his mother. He had called Natalie back when he got out of the shower, and stood on the balcony for about 40 minutes chain smoking like a steam train while he spoke to her, and when he came back inside he just wanted to cuddle and watch cooking shows the rest of the day, to which considering the shit week he’d had and it was only Monday- was to be expected.

After the bruise had gone down enough to be covered with makeup, he threw himself in to his work harder then I’d ever seen before. He would leave the house at 4:30, and not be back until midnight every night. And then, he would stay up until 2 playing around with new recipes and replating dishes over and over, thumping it into the garbage each time he felt it wasn’t just right.

Something was…different with him lately. I assumed it was just the toll Donna’s harsh words were taking. But I missed my Carmy, my sweet bear. He had been so…short with me lately. He wasn’t texting as much, I hardly got an ‘I love you’ out of him most days, because I hardly exchanged more then 2 words with him. It was like living with a ghost, or a roommate that hated you. We hadn’t had sex since before the family dinner everything transpired, but that wasn’t even what got to me most.

I figured he was just…distracted? I knew Carmy loves me, he wouldn’t be coming home every night if he didn’t. So that is why I had taken it upon myself to tell Richie to save me a table tonight and not tell Carmy, so I could surprise him and finally give him the absolutely adorable specially made crochet knife storage pouch that I’d even sewn fabric into and embroidered his initials on. I made sure to wrap it super pretty with navy blue ribbon and brown paper just like the colors of the restaurant before I headed down there.

When I walked in I had a bright smile, I was so excited to see him and hopefully sneak a smoke break outside, it had been a while since we did that. I had even done my hair extra pretty for him, curled how he liked and put in one of my silky bows that matched what I’d wrapped around the present paper. I remembered when Carmy had told me that navy was his favorite color on me, and that it complimented my hair so well. I told him I would wear it more often cause it always brought out the blue in his pretty eyes which of course made him blush and smile one of his shy boyish smiles.

“Cousin!” I chirp happily and wrap my arms around Richie “it’s been too long, how are you? Still got my seat?” I asked, he wrapped his arm around me a kissed the top of my head in that sweet, brotherly way.

“Hey Shortstack, M’sorry we’ve been swamped- this might not be a good time f’you huh? Wanna come back another day?” He pat my back gently and I pulled away slightly, looking up at him

“You mean Carmy is in a mood?” I ask and pout a bit. He gives me that look, and I sigh “I’m gonna go talk to him…he just needs a cigarette” I said and brushed off his objections, pushing open the door to the kitchen to see Carmy absolutely ripping Syd a new one, about what? I couldn’t be sure.

“I fucking TOLD YOU, if it’s not PERFECT it doesn’t GO OUT. You have TWO emulsions on this plate, BOTH ARE SPLIT it’s GARBAGE “ he shouts, chucking the entire plate of food into the garbage that I truly didn’t see a problem with. As someone who came from a home where we had peanut butter bread for dinner at least twice a month, seeing him throw away such expensive food made me nearly twitch, and the tone of his voice made me cringe.

“Carmy?” I held the wrapped present to my chest nervously, Syd looks at me, relief flashing in her eyes “why don’t we take a break?” I asked gently and go up to him, touching his hand and he pulls it away. He was angrily chomping on gum, and shook his head

“Not takin’ breaks anymore. What’s up, need somethin?” He asked, his tone nearly indifferent. I frowned bit, eyes flicking to Tina who would usually be telling Carmy to be nicer to his girl, or Marcus who would be beckoning me over to try some sweet treat he’d been perfecting- but instead they were dead focused on their dishes. Like I wasn’t even there.

“Babe, what do you mean? Cmon, let’s go smoke huh?” I gently rub his bicep and he shook his head again, grabbing a new plate from the stack of them beside his station

“Refire! 2 wagyu- let’s pick up the goddamn pace we’re fucking behind!, chefs! Every second counts, heard?!” he calls out in a loud, grating, nearly barking voice.

He was quickly met with a chorus of ‘yes chef’ and he got right back to plating some…thing? Without even a single glance to the woman he said he dreamed of being his wife. I didn't even know where I’d get started trying to guess what the little plate of flowers, and goop, and..some kind of meat? Would be.

Well, all I knew is it was ‘fancy’ and if I didn’t like it- Richie would be really upset with me, and so would Carmy. Also, that Carmy needed a break, and soon or he’d blow his top.

The food Carmy crafted when I saw him looked like barely a snack to me. Like - a single bite, and I told Carmy that, he used to chuckle and have me try it, but when I did lately he would get pissy and tell me I ‘don’t fucking get Haute Cuisine’ .

But the fact he was just essentially ignoring me and my love for him and how I had gotten all pretty for him and came all the way here but he didn’t give a single shit - it made me livid. He was really rubbing me wrong, lately . I had come out of my way to see him, and he couldn’t even take 10 minutes?

“Baby you’re stressed- I hear it in your voice let’s go have a cigarette mm?” I gently touch his shoulder and he rolled it to get me to stop

“Jesus y’fucking needy. I said no! I fuckin quit, ok? Do you need me to say it 3 fucking times so that you remember I told you? I quit. I fucking quit, okay? has it sunk Into your fuckin memory? Ok, good Now get out of my fuckin face. There’s no available seats, and I don’t have time to fuck around and listen t’you talk about bull” he went right back to plating the food and my mouth drops a bit.

I look up to search for Syd hopefully getting ready to yell at him for that, but she was over helping Tina with something. I swallowed thickly “do you want to maybe try that again? I don’t think I heard you correctly, Carmen” I kick his shoe lightly and he finally looks at me, fire lighting behind his eyes. I couldn’t believe that he was insulting me this way, something had to have crawled up his ass. “Because I know you didn’t just insult my memory knowing my situation. That would be really low, coming from you” I narrow my eyes in fury, the two of us staring eachother down like lions about to fight.

He hadn’t ever dared to speak to me or treat me this way before. Ever since we’d met, he was all blushy smiles and sweet mumbled compliments. His demeanor would brighten, like his energy was being dialed up when I walked in a room. He’d practically trip over his own feet to come give me a sweet Carmy Bear hug. But lately it was as if I was fucking bothersome housefly.

“I said” he dropped the long pair of tweezers he was using and took a deep breath, the vein in his forehead popping out and when he took a deep breath like he was about to scream I quickly said

“Remember. Think. Think right now Carmen about the way you’re going to speak to me. Think really hard because I told you once and I’m not telling you again what happens if you ever raise your voice to me demeaningly- don’t fucking test me” I said and he narrowed his eyes, breathing deeper how he did when his top was about to blow.

“Leave.” He said just above a whisper. I scoffed, blinking a few times not sure I believed what I heard.

“Leave? You want me to leave? Since when have you ever not wanted me around” I asked “what has gotten into you, Bear? You’re hardly sleeping you’re- you’re-“

“WHAT THE FUCK COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW, WINNIE?! ALL YOU DO IS PUT GOD DAMN BOOKS ON A SHELF. AND THE REST OF THE TIME? YOU WHINE ABOUT YOUR DEAD FUCKING BROTHER. NEWSFLASH- YOU FUCKING PRISS - YOU ARENT THE ONLY ASSHOLE WHOS BROTHER DIED!! SO CAN YOU DO ME A SINGLE FAVOR? A SINGLE THING, WIN? CAN YOU NOT STRESS ME THE FUCK OUT FOR A SECOND AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. UNTIL I TELL YOU OTHERWISE? LEAVE ME BE! YOU FUCKING NAG! CHRIST!!! ” He roared. His voice was so scary, so deep, so honest - tears started rolling down my cheeks before I could possibly stop them, and my lip wobbled as I held back hot, embarrassed tears.

Nat comes out of the back office “what’s going on-“ she flicked her eyes from Carmy over to me in the now silent kitchen. I didn’t even know who this is in front of me. But it’s not my Carmy, my Carmy would never willingly stab me in such a deep seeded wound, and then salt it right after by calling me a priss. I nearly choked on my tears, my heart racing and blood roaring in my ears. The same 3 words ringing in my ears

He’s leaving you, he’s leaving you, he’s leaving you.

“Carmen!” Nat snaps, “you can go fuck pal. What the fuck did she do to you?” She comes over to my shocked frame, heaving in breaths panicking worse then I did that night I’d met his mother. And hugged me gently, rubbing my arm

“Go. Fucking GO get her out. I don’t need the dramatic, stupid sniveling” he brushed me roughly toward the door, without a care of the world I nearly tripped over my own feet. I was so upset, I could have thrown up on the floor if Nat didn’t give him a sharp glare as she basically carried me out while I sobbed. She rubbed my back gently as she tried to soothe me as much as she could.

“He’s so stressed, win, this is him blowing out because he’s scared about Jimmy cutting us off.”

“S-sniveling?” I sobbed and Richie pushed open the door, pulling me into a big hug when we got outside “he- he said I talk too much about Chris” I choke sobbed into his jacket and he rubs my back gently, allowing me to cry as hard as I needed “he called me a priss Richie- w-why does he hate me now? What did I do?” I cry, my makeup streaming down my face in thick black streaks.

“He’s a little bitch, he’s become a little fuckin tyrant since Syd said she wanted a star, honey. It’s nothing t’do with you” he coaxed, gently rubbing my back how he did for Eva when she was upset, hoping it would have the same effect but unfortunately for him my heart had just been ripped out and stomped on by Carm so it wasn’t doing much.

“He- he knew what would happen I - I can’t. Oh god I don’t wanna break up why did he do this Richie” my voice horse and broken

“What’ya mean hon, he’s not breakin up with you- kids fuckin whipped are you jokin’?” He said and I shook my head

“I can’t - I - I can’t be with someone who’s abusive that way, Richie. I wish this never happened I - I wish I never came today oh god- oh god he’s gonna wanna come home later- can you- you- “ I choke back a sob, covering my mouth and squeezing my eyes shut at the realization.

“Tell him not to come home” I pull away and wipe my face, handing him the crumpled present “and give him this. I don’t want it” before heading the 2 blocks home. He didn’t try to stop me, it was no use with the state that I was in. The only person that could calm me down like this is Sadie, and I felt I’ve disappointed her because what she said nearly a year ago now, ended up being true. Carmen Berzatto is an asshole, and he’s only going to end up hurting me.

I stormed home, turning off my phone because I knew what I was supposed to do, and I didn’t want to be tempted to stop because people were asking me not to. I took 2 bong hits to calm down my breathing and stop crying finally, before wiping my makeup off and grabbing a box of trash bags. For the next two hours, I went around my apartment collecting any and everything that belonged to Carmy, or that I’d gotten him as a gift, and put them in to garbage bags.

I had told him when we first started dating, that I no longer date men who yell at me, or hit me. I made sure to let him know it was the only time I’d tell him, but if he ever were to raise his voice to me in a mean way we’d be over without even having to say it. So to take it as my warning. And he should have, because I was sticking to my word.

When I was done, I allowed myself to take an hours long steaming shower, and sob on my shower floor about everything. I couldn’t believe that Carmy had called me stupid essentially, made fun of my adhd and bad memory. That he had told me I talk too much about Chris when he knows the only way to keep your dead sibling alive is to share stories. Just like he did of Mikey, but I guess to him that street should only go one way.

I truthfully didn’t even know who this man was. Cold, uncaring, nearly evil. I wanted to scream and sob and kick things and punch Carmy but also kiss him and I wanted to slap him for what he said but I also wanted him to hold me and whisper about how he loves me more then anything in this whole fucked up world between sloppy kisses he left all over my face and neck. I wanted to lay with him in the dark and stroke his forearm as he tells me about his irrational worries and I soothe him by telling him no matter what happens we do it together.

Didn’t he love that? He said he loved that, that he loved me. But how could that be love? The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt Carmy, whenever I do even by accident the level of guilt I feel is immeasurable. But he so easily, so willingly hurt me about the single most painful thing in this world. Like I meant nothing to him at all.

I got into bed after getting into my favorite hello kitty pajamas, only to start sobbing again when all I could smell was him. I held his pillow, crying into it to stifle my sobs.

It was a good 3 hours of sobbing before I gave myself such a bad migraine that I essentially conked out and was woken up to Persephone asking for her dinner long after the sun had gone down. “Gosh- I’m sorry honey dad-Carmy” I correct myself, feeling tears spring to my eyes again. “C-Carmy” I start to sob again, shaking my head and covering my face with my hands. Sephy jumps up on the bed, coming over and licking my forearm sweetly and I sniffled deeply, picking her up and stroking her fur as I kiss her head.

“Carmy isn’t coming around anymore so I’ve been a little upset. M’sorry” I told her and got up, padding to the kitchen and putting on my glasses after wiping my eyes. I realized my phone was still sat powered off on the counter, so I took it turning it back on and grabbing her food for her while it powered up. I got my skincare globes out of the freezer, holding them to my puffy sore eyes, sighing softly In relief.

I sat there for a moment enjoying the feeling of the cold compress when my phone started buzzing over, and over, and over as it loaded through all of the notifications from the day. I popped the globes back in the freezer, seeing the last 56 texts were from Carmy, on top of 17 missed calls and 3 voicemails. I clicked on the thread and to start, it was horrible

-Fuckin really- you leave Richie with a gift to what, make me feel bad?

-Well guess what, I don’t so nice try.

-That’s really fuckin embarassing, you told Richie to tell me not to come home?? How old are you, really.

-Why wouldn’t I come home?? You’re being over dramatic.

-What do you wanna break up over a petty fight???

And after I didn’t reply, it turned into

-Fuck babe the pouch is really nice, I’m sorry.

-Is that pouch what you’ve been working on lately? You did so good, princess it's so nice, I love you.

-I’m sorry angel, please pick up the phone :(

-Come on honey I’ll come home early and make you your special garbage plate, and bring you your chocolate cake yea?

-Winnie, really. I’m sorry baby, I love you, you know that.

-I love you, pretty girl, please pick up the phone.

-Ok so I can’t make it early but I’ll try not to be late, hm? we can cuddle and watch your show

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head as I read through them. In response, instead of words, I simply send him a photo of the 4 trash bags tied up near the door along with the huge stack of cookbooks and hit send, opening my freezer once more to find something to eat. I settle on a frozen pizza that had been living in there a bit too long but when you have - had. A genius chef boyfriend, every night was something new and delicious so frozen pizza was always off the table.

It wasn’t even 3 minutes before my phone was vibrating on the counter as a call came through, I look over and see the photo Sadie took of us at new years, big goofy 2024 glasses on Carmy and one of those large ‘happy new years’ sparkly headbands was on me, kissing out on her balcony with fireworks in the background as the clock struck midnight. I shook my head at the memory, deciding to just rip the bandaid now and I hit the green button, and hit the speaker button.

It was silent other then the sounds of the kitchen dimming as he walked down the hallway to go outside. “Sweetheart?” He asked, as if he was amazed I answered - he should be.

“No. Not anymore. When will you be by to pick up your shit?” I preheat the oven and grab my phone, going to sit in my bed while I wait for it to heat.

“Baby. Come on Angel, don’t be like that mm? M’sorry, I really am babygirl I-“

“Stop! I - I’m not your baby or your angel, or your babygirl, anymore, Carmy. You fucking forfeited that the moment you yelled at me and told me I was fucking stupid and couldn’t remember anything and then- and-“ I took a deep shaking breath “and what you said about Chris? Fuck you. That’s what I wanted to say, Carmy. Fuck, you. Fuck you for making me fall so fucking far in love with you- just for you to turn around and ruin it. We had something so beautiful and-“

He cuts me off this time

“Had. You’re gonna say we had something, Win? It’s been fucking not even a day can you hold the fuck on? Why are you throwing us away you know that we’re fucking-“

“What? Throwing us away? Tell me, Carmy. What did I say to you about dating men who yell” I said and he remained silent “say it.” I told him and he huffs.

“You don’t date assholes that yell at you or hit you anymore because you learned that y’better than that” he muttered.

“Mmm. So what makes you special?” I asked, and out of everything I said that night that was a knife straight to his gut. He felt like it knocked the wind out of his lungs, because if anything at all- I made him special. I made him feel special. And for him to now believe that I no longer see him as such, what was he if not special to me?

“Honey, baby- don’t- don’t do this” he said, the edge from his voice gone and replaced with that softness, that softness that only came with the real Carmy, my Carmy.

“What makes you special?” I ask again, my voice shaking as I bit back more tears, although I wasn’t sure how I possibly had anymore left to cry given today.

“You” he said barely above a whisper. I don’t know what I was expecting, it was more a rhetorical question for him to answer on his own- but that answer melted me to my core.

“Come home right now and maybe we can talk about you earning your way back. Maybe.” I said and hung up. I sighed, sitting back and rubbing my face to rid it of tears. Suprisingly enough, it was only about 10 minutes until I heard a key in the door and a familiar

“Honey?”

I sit up in bed, wiping away stray tears to try and look strong as possible, but when he came in, all of that resolve crumbled. His eyes were bloodshot, he had to have been crying too. But how? In the back office? Did he really leave the kitchen to go cry? I could hardly believe that. “Honey” he said, nearly relieved that I was really there and sunk to his knees next to the bed in front of me, taking my hands and kissing them all over the backs

“I’m sorry- I’m so so sorry, I’m so sorry pretty” he rests his forehead on the plush of my thigh, sighing softly and I resist the strong urge to detangle his curls from the day, something I hadn’t gotten the pleasure of doing in what felt like years but in reality was only a few weeks.

“Sorry for what” I urge and he nuzzled his face in my tummy

“M’sorry f’r being an asshole, and a bitch, and a piece of shit, and a horrible fuckin’ boyfriend” he mumbled, wrapping his arms around my waist like he’d never let go and kissing around my ribs and stomach “M’sorry honey. So so sorry. I love you” he repeated over and over, kissing different parts of me each time with slow, purposeful worshiping movements.

“Do you really think that about me?” I asked, allowing myself to gently rest my hand on his back, rubbing at the tense muscle through his chefs coat.

“Never. Never. That was so - so fucked baby. I regretted it the second I said it- I don’t even fucking know what’s wrong with me, I- I don’t” his voice cracks and he took a shakey breath “I don’t deserve you” he admits, his voice raw and honest. My hand trailed up, gently scratching at his scalp and that is when he breaks

“It’s just so hard this is all so fuckin’ h-hard baby” it comes out in a sob, and I gently pull him to come lay with me. “I don’t deserve this I don’t deserve- fuck. I don’t deserve to feel good after what I said babe. I don’t deserve comfort” he shook his head and stood, tugging off his coat. “M’sorry- I need to fuckin get it together. M’sorry. It’s just- everything is shit babe. Please don’t come to the restaurant anymore, ok? It’s too much- everything is too much and it’s like peace comin home and seeing you. I don’t want you mixed up with it” he kisses the top of my head

“Are we good?” He asked. I thought for a moment, swallowing thickly and sighing a bit. “Baby please” he plead, sitting down on the bed next to my legs and cupping my cheeks.

“How can we be good if you won’t even let me hold you? You don’t even want me touching you lately , Carmy. Are you sure you’re still…” I bit my lip to keep it from wobbling “that you still want me?” I asked. A few stray tears fall down his cheeks and he pulls me to his chest, hugging me tightly and kissing the top of my head.

“Baby- baby.” He whispered and rubbed my back gently “the only thing in this world that I’m sure of, is that I fucking want you. I want you more than I want the restaurant- I want you more then anything” he assured me, rocking me gently and kissing my cheeks.

“Then why do you spend more time with the restaurant then with me?” I ask gently, hating that I was enjoying his coddling and kisses.

“Cause I’m a way better chef, and a shit boyfriend. So I figure it spares us both the heartache of having me around too much” and the indifferent, casual tone he said it in tells me he truly believed it. That was the part about it that killed me the most.

“Oh bear” I whisper, cupping his cheek and pulling him into a sweet, loving kiss, gently playing with his curls. He nearly sighs in relief in my mouth, his palm spread flat along my back where he rucked up my pajamas so he could be touching me skin to skin, our favorite way. “Do you wanna know something, love” I said softly when I pulled away, planting a gentle kiss to the bridge of his nose. He rested his forehead on mine, eyes fluttering shut as he got lost in the much needed affection.

“Hm” he didn’t even have the ability to make some self deprecating joke, he could only focus on the way his heart felt steadier then it had all day now that he was back in my arms.

“If I could spend every waking moment with you, I would. Because you are my favorite person in this world, there is not one other being I’d rather be with day to day, even Taylor swift” I joke which earned a small smile from him

“That’s a lie, but thank you baby- I wish I could be around all the time, but I fuck up too much” he sniffled, and I wiped the stray tear stains from his cheeks.

“It’s the truth. And how do you mean, you fuck up baby? You are so good at being a boyfriend - today was the first time you’ve ever been nasty to me. And definitely the last, hm?” I confirm and he nodded quickly

“The last- it’s the last I swear. I’ll never be mean again t’you baby that was the dumbest shit I’ve ever done in my life. Y’my best girl, my favorite, perfect angel” he kissed my forehead and snuggled me close, gently petting my hair. We were quiet for a moment, just enjoying each others touch when he said “this is getting long” he whispered as he plays with the ends of my hair that brushed the mattress even while I sat in his lap.

“Mm- I thought you like it long” i kiss that pulse point on his neck gently to assure he was still calm, happy to feel the steady beat beneath my lips as I lingered for a moment, smelling the last bits of his cologne and the kitchen smell from the day on him that I loved so much, distinctly Carmen.

“I do. S’fun to play with” he rubs my back gently and rests his lips on the top of my head in a prolonged kiss, shutting his eyes and lingering for a moment, savoring the smell of my shampoo and hair oil that I’d actually gotten him to start using and to his surprise it did make his curls way less frizzy. The humid, Chicago summers were always his least favorite because it gave him a super curly Italian Afro that would go frizzy by the end of the day in the kitchen, but I loved it more then anything.

“Will you shower with me?” He asked after a few moments of silence, with his cheek mushed on the top of my head. I sigh softly “I had a long shower earlier, I’ll sit with you, though. My pizza should be almost done” I said and he lays back on the bed, taking me with him and I giggle a bit as I roll on top of him and he lets out a satisfied hum at his newfound weighted blanket.

“Never mind. Kinda want pizza” he adjusted my thighs so I’d straddle him and I tucked my hands under his back, kissing his neck gently as I usually would after a hard day, moving from his forehead to his nose and his cheeks then his lips and chin, then his jaw, then his neck, then his chest and arms and hands. I knew he loved it, because he’d sit with his eyes closed every time and essentially let me kiss him to sleep, it was quite adorable actually.

“M’serious baby. Never again, ok?” I said softly when I finished, laying comfortably on his chest with my cheek mushed against it and he took a deep breath. “Never again”

After things had calmed down a bit, we both ate, Carmy had a shower, we were laid in bed and I was stroking his hair gently, my sound machine already playing rain noise but I knew he wasn’t asleep. His hands were busy rolling and unrolling my pajama shirt hem between his fingers as I was sure his mind was racing.

“Why are you doing this, Carm. At work. What’s up, baby. Why are you changing so much stuff in the restaurant?” I asked and he stopped, his tattooed hand coming around my hip and squeezing gently.

“Baby I don’t wanna talk about this. I’m doing it because I have to, ok?” He said and rubbed my hip with his thumb gently.

“Sydney is going to quit if you keep talking to her that way. And then what is this for, Carmen.” I said boldly, my hand steadying on his head

“I’m teaching her” he said shortly.

“You’re treating her how that dick treated you.” I said and he tuts, taking a deep breath.

“Babe I’ve not even told you half of the shit that fuckface said, and trust me I’d expect Syd would stab me how she did Richie if I said that shit to her. I didn’t tell her she should be dead. I didn’t stop the entire fucking kitchen and tell them that Syd was so stupid, and slow, that we need to wait so we can give her a second to catch up. I didn’t literally kick her ass for wasting ingredients. I’m teaching her. She’s gonna thank me, I’m making her better.” He nuzzled back into my stomach and closed his eyes once again, likely expecting me to just take it at that.

“Ahh. So that’s what your boss did, when he was doing all that. He made you better? You think screaming in your face that made you better.” I scoff lightly, annoyed he thought this was at all good “you know she’s my best friend - one of them- Syd is basically Sadie’s sister. Which makes us that close.”

“Well y’best friend chose a career path that’s hard sometimes, honey. I’m tired I worked 16 hours today” he laid down on his side, back to me and pulling open his bedside drawer, tugging out a box of sticker looking things and putting one on his arm. Nicotine patch.

“And when were you gonna say you stopped smoking?” I asked, still confused why he wouldn’t tell me something as big as that, Carmy told me he’s been smoking since he was 15- that was half his life at this point.

“Do you give a fuck? Thought you’d be happy if anything. Thanks for the support I guess” he laid on his stomach, tucking his arms under the pillow, still not facing me.

I chuckle dryly “the support. Yeah Carmy. You are the most supportive fucking person as of late.” I got comfortable on my side, back to him “see you tomorrow night I guess since you can’t even be bothered to wake me up for a kiss anymore.” I snip, crossing my arm over my chest and frowning.

“I literally do do you want me to start recording it? Y’fuckin half asleep why would you remember.” He scoffs “fuckin looking for a fight, swear to god” he muttered

“You’re being a real jerk right now.” I huff and he chuckled sarcastically

“Yes babe. I am a fucking jerk you knew this when we first started dating, you used to be into it that’s the funny thing”

“Yeah I was into it when it was the whole jerk to other people but super sweet to me, thing. Now you’re a jerk to literally everyone and it seems you especially like taking it out on me, someone you say you love.” I said and he huffed, annoyed as he rolled over on his back, extending his arm

“C’mere. I don’t wanna fight like this before bed, please baby. I’m sorry. I’ll try to be easier on Syd, there. Can you come lay now. And stop actin’ like this” he said and I turn around, crossing my arms over my chest and looking at him, he motioned for me to get comfy on his chest so he could wrap me up in a hug and we could fall asleep.

“You’ll try, or you will.” I said and he did one of those fed up slow blink sighs.

“I will be more lenient with Syd’s fuck ups, even if I’ve shown her 50 times how to do it right and she’s still rushing it.” He said and pulled me to his chest, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my temple firmly “can we sleep now?” he murmured against my skin.

“Yes, we can sleep now” I gave in, knowing that I wasn’t going to get a better answer out of him until he’d at least had some sleep. I made it a point, though, when the sound of the shower woke me that I was going to get up and make him a coffee and some breakfast before work and hopefully we would get to spend some time together before he left.

I made us both some scrambled eggs and toast, making sure to put his coffee in his favorite travel mug I’d gotten him last Christmas and adding a bit of cinnamon for him as well. I heard the water cut off just as I was setting the table and finishing making my own latte, and when the bathroom door opened, and he saw the bed had been made- he called out a confused

“Babe? Y’up?”

“In the kitchen” I called back, putting my creamer back in the fridge and mixing up my iced latte I’d made for myself. He came in, towel hanging low on his hips and another around his neck since he hated the feeling of his hair dripping on his skin. It was truly a mouthwatering sight. “Morning handsome” I said and greeted him with a sweet kiss and handing over his mug.

“Morning babe- it’s…fuckin early- Y’don’t need to be up f’work until 8” he pats my bum gently “you made food?” He looked at the table and I nod happily

“Yeah! I figured we could have breakfast together, right? Before you have to go to work..you don’t always have to be so early bear - you guys open at like 5!” I rub his chest gently and kissed his now soft stubble free jaw, he’d been very diligent as of late of shaving his face - sometimes twice a day. I sort of missed his stubble.

“Yeah but I make the menu, honey. And I have to make a list of what I want Tina to get at the farmers market. I have to make sure everything is clean, I have to accept the meat delivery. And the dairy delivery. Someone’s gotta do it- but thank you, could you do me a big favor and slap it in a Togo for me? One of the plastic ones from the cabinet over the microwave that’s gonna be great to eat at work babe” he kissed the top of my head and headed back off to the bedroom to get dressed, leaving me stood alone in the kitchen again.

I wake up, before the fucking sun to spend time with him - I’m still brushed off.

“So we just don’t have sex anymore?” I call as I open the cabinet in search of the stupid fucking container he wanted me to put his breakfast in.

“What’s that mean?” He comes to the bedroom door as he put on his white shirt - “fuckin shit I forgot to switch over my whites! Fuuuuck” he runs over to the washer and dryer in nothing but his boxers and plain white shirt, opening it and smelling them to asses if he could just throw them in the dryer “fuck!” He exclaims “fuckin fuck fuck” he said annoyed and pours in another cup of detergent, slamming the lid shut and setting it to a quick cycle

“It means-“ I stop when he rushed past me, shaking my head and realizing he had completely stopped listening, anyway. “You can ask for help sometimes, you know that right?” I said and he shook his head annoyed, going back to the bedroom to grab his jeans

“You can’t help me babe. Thanks for the coffee but I gotta go over to mine to grab my spare whites- oh- you can help with somethin’ actually, can you just throw those in the dryer when you get back up? Love you” he gave me a quick peck on the cheek, grabbing the container of food and his travel mug of coffee and dashing out the door.

I sighed, giving a defeated “yup” and watching him leave. I sit down at the kitchen table, eating my lukewarm breakfast in silence as I think over the events of the morning. It could have gone so much differently if he just took a second. There was a fleeting thought in my mind when he got out of the shower that we could eat together and then have slow, passionate morning sex. The kind that he would mumble

I fuckin love you, baby- you know how much I fuckin love you, right?

You’re everything to me, my whole fucking world Angel.

You’re my peace baby, my home, my relaxation - I couldn’t ever go without you now that I have you, y’mine princess. Forever

Into the crook of my neck as he lazily thrusted in and out of me, his words and my mumbled praise and agreements with his words bringing us to the throes of pleasure more then the short rolling of his hips. It had been weeks since we’d done that, and it would always bring us so much closer after we did. It was what we needed, right now. Especially right now, it felt like we were worlds apart and I would do anything to bring us back together.

I pouted a bit, realizing just how much I missed him in that way, craving the closeness and the praise and the pleasure. I went ahead and opened our text thread, staring at the last which was the photo of his things in garbage bags we took about an hour putting away last night and I sigh softly. I type out a few versions of what I wanted to say, before settling on

I miss having sex with you, Carmy. Can we please try and make time tonight?

And sent it. It wasn’t the usual text someone would send or receive before 6 am, but Carmen and I had a tendency to not do things in classic or traditional ways. I see the type bubble pop up, then go away, then pop up a few times before I got a response of

Baby I’m pretty busy today but I’ll try to see if I can find time maybe next week. I miss you too, my best girl 🖤

I shook my head, sighing and pushing away my now empty plate. Feeling frustrated and horny and pissed off. What happened to the Carmy that would no matter how tired he was, get under the covers and eat me until I was a trembling mess and ask for nothing in reply, but give in to my begging him to fuck me cause of how good he made me feel. That man, I wanted that man. I was coming to the realization that not having sex was getting to me.

I send another text,

Or you could come home for lunch and fuck me like you know we both need. Or does the big, mean boss man not get a lunch break?

I bit my lip, petty - yes. But if riling him up to the point he has to come home and pound me from behind while rambling about how I’m such a pretty distraction and how could he ever say no to this pretty cunt was what I needed to do to get him inside me again, I would do it. He also needs it, he’s way too wound up.

It wasn’t long before I got a reply

Being needy and filthy over text isn’t gonna clear my schedule, pretty girl. I know you have toys why don’t you go put them to use and tell me how good you can make yourself feel, I know you can baby.

I furrow my brow, frowning and just reacting to the message with a thumbs down. Asshole.

I washed the dishes and switched over his whites to the dryer and go to bed for a few more hours before I would need to get up and get ready for my shift at the library. I listened to Taylor of course while getting ready, still in the process of memorizing the lyrics to her new album. I wished we could have gotten more time to listen to it together, but he doesn’t even have time to sleep it seems anymore, or have sex, or do anything that isn’t directly related to the restaurant.

It was getting exhausting just to even witness. It nearly felt like I was single again, and Carmy just lived here and kissed me sometimes when he felt he needed kissing. It’s almost as if he’d fallen out of love with me and in love with the bear and its success. I didn’t know what Nat meant by Cicero cutting them off - I figured that would probably have something to do with it. I leaned into the mirror, observing my freckles around my nose.

What if he realized you aren’t pretty enough for him?

I shook the thought out of my mind, going back to doing my eyeliner and telling myself I had to make an extra therapy appointment for this week, because the last time I felt like this was before I met Sadie and was all alone out here after Chris died. I finished up getting ready, giving Sephy extra love and snuggles per usual after she ate and then I headed to work.

When I got on the L, funny enough I bumped into one of my favorite people. “Is that Syd the Chef Kid?” I plop next to her and her face brightens with her classic Syd Smile.

“Pooh! What’s up carrot top, headed to the library?” She asked, popping her AirPod out so we could talk.

“Yup! How about you, shouldn’t you be getting your ass chewed out by my ever patient boyfriend?” I said sarcastically, sitting back and sighing a bit as the train pulled off again.

“I should…” she looks down “but uh. I took some time, this morning. You remember where Carmy used to work, Ever?” She asked and looked back over, I nodded a bit and she continued “well- it’s closing, and one of the chefs wanted to uh..talk. About an opportunity- please don’t tell Carmy I’m just going to hear him out and I-“

I cut her off “Sydney- that’s fucking awesome!” I giggle happily and hug her “what the hell- of course I won’t tell Carmy, but that’s like totally awesome! Right? You want to go different places in the cooking industry, that’s how you meet people, like Carmy did. You're so gonna get it if its a job offer” I told her. She looked a bit…surprised that I seemed excited about this, which kind of burnt a bit.

“You don’t- you like.. wouldn’t be mad? If I left? Cause then Carmy would be all… y’know- Carmy. When he’s trying to find a new right hand, and-“

“Syd. I can handle Carmen, trust me. If anything he would be sad but he would be so proud of you too I bet!” I hugged her “just- don’t tell him until you make a decision- ok?” I told her and she nods, smiling a bit thankfully.

“Yeah, for sure. He sent me this..partnership thing I’m not sure I wanna sign yet…At least until I explore my options” she said and I nodded, grabbing her hand and bringing it to my lips, kissing it gently

“Syd- do what is good for you! Ok? I can handle Carmy, he’s…he’s really regimented? And yes, you leaving will throw off his routine but I can talk him down from freaking out. I’m sorry you even have to deal with his behavior, most the time I wonder why I do- but…it doesn’t even matter! This is about you babe! Let’s go celebrate - let’s go to smart bar tonight and fucking party! Cause tomorrow’s your day off, right, you me and Sadie! We’ll get fucked up. We deserve it. And Charli just put out a new album!” I grabbed her hand “you deserve it, Syd. Let’s go! Cmon. Let’s go have fun Carmy has been such a dick lately!” I said and she laughed, her head falling back.

“God. I wish you could hear yourself, Win. Yeah. Carm has been such a dick. He doesn’t deserve you. But uh- I guess sure. Can Marcus come? He’s been bugging about going out” she said and I nod happily and clap.

“Syd!!!!!! Fuck oh my god I’m so excited!” I giggle “pregame at yours! Sadie is so coming. Fuck Mitch I hate that prick but he’s probably gonna be there. And - oh your boyfriend?” I said and she shook her head

“He said - it doesn’t matter. We’re not together. It’s fine. Let’s have fun, right?” She asked as we pulled at my stop. I nodded and got up, kissing her cheek quick

“Text me- I’ll be at yours after I get off work. I’ll wear that dress I lent you! If Carmy is a dick about you being late tell him I said to go pound sand!” I call as I got off, quickly heading to work since I was already late.

The day went extra slow, since of course I was excited for after work. I got home earlier then Carmy of course, because why would he ever make an effort to see me? And took a quick shower, packing my makeup and hair things, as well as a few bottles of alcohol before ubering to Syd’s.

When I got there- Sadie, Marcus, as well as some very handsome tall British man was In her kitchen. “Hey bitches” I said and they turned

“shortstack!” Marcus said happily and I giggle. The pretty blonde male and I meet eyes.

“Hi there” he said and oh - oh…he’s British? Mm. Hmm. Interesting.

“Hey” I said shut and shut the door behind me “like vodka?” I asked , and the way he looked at me made me feel we were the only 2 In the room.

“I’m a tequila guy, but vodka does it.” He smiled a bit, and his pretty perfect teeth made me nearly weak at the knees.

You aren’t single, just angry at your boyfriend. Behave, Winnie.

I giggled in a way that I hoped I would read as friendly, and gently nudge his shoulder-

Fuck. This guy is pure muscle, I’m sure his stamina is absolutely insane - Winnie! You are not single!! Stop being a perv about this pretty British chef …

But he’s so pretty

Winnie! Stop! Stop. Do you need to go home? You are taken. No matter how kind, and sociable, and funny, and fit, and muscular, and tall, and -

Winnie!!!!!!

I looked back at Syd, a fake smile on my face, as I clutched my phone, avoiding the tall, sexy Brit to my right that had such a sweet laugh and I’m sure a huge dick

Winnow!!!

I couldn’t be more ashamed of where my mind wandered if I tried. I phone, avoiding his pretty blue green eyes - Jesus ! Why do all these men around Carm need to have the prettiest eyes!!!

“This is Luca” syd said, taking my tote full of bottles of alcohol, and starting to load them in the freezer. “He’s here because he worked with Carm at Ever- Richie introduced us, cause he went to check up on Jess after they said it was closing and this guy was hanging around like a dingleberry” she teased and he chucked, his eyes crinkling adorably.

Fuck, he’s cute. And tall as fuck.

“I’m Luca- nice to meet you uhh-“

“Winnie. Winnow- call me Winnie, though.” I shook his soft hand, blushing when he brought it to his lips and kissed my manicured fingers kindly.

“Well, Winnie, you look beautiful. Would you like me to make you a drink? You’ve brought quite the selection here” he squeezed my hand kindly before letting it go carefully and motioning to the selection of mixers Syd had set out.

It had been - well- since Carmy had stopped caring to woo me, really since the last time someone had cared to flatter me so openly, so I shrugged and smiled. Blushing at the compliment and offering my thanks.

“Yes, Chef Luca. Thank you” I squeeze his muscular bicep gently and Syd gives me the wiggle ‘get it’ brows as I sit down at the island. I rolled my eyes playfully, if anything she should be flirting with him.

“Where are you from?” He asked as he grabbed a glass, filling it with ice and putting a shot of vodka before a shot of lime and I smiled a bit

“Rochester New York. You’re from somewhere in England, right?” I asked and he chuckled a bit as he shook the drink together

“Right. London. You’re uh- you’re Carmen’s girlfriend isn’t that right” he poured the drink in a glass and handed it over. I nodded, looking down into the drink.

“That I am” I said quietly. I never knew these days what would come after someone saying that, he’s an ass, or he’s a genius or he is the best in the world. I was ready for the unfortunate embarrassing ladder of “he’s an asshole” but instead, I got

“How in the hell do you keep up with that guy? What’s he feeding you?” He joked, causing me to laugh a bit and sip my drink.

“Uh- I guess a lot of patience and love.” I said and Syd and I gave eachother a long glance.

“Where is he by the way? He hiding from me or somethin yea?” He chuckled and I smiled, laughing to match the mood and Marcus thankfully interjects

“Carmen doesn’t do clubs. You should know that” he nudged Luca gently and he huffed a laugh

“I guess- yeah. Makes sense” he said, and it clicked all the sudden.

“Holy shit” I whisper, staring at him and they all looked at me confused, staring at me silently.

“What- what you fucking weirdo” Syd nudges me and I nod towards Luca

“Him- him- that’s who…he like- you” I stared at him again and he furrowed his brow as he looks at me confused

“Who what?” He asked and put his cup down

“Carmy - you? Why? What about you what are you good at what did you beat him at?” I asked curiously and put my cup down as well “he still talks about you- what did you do better? It still haunts him “ I laugh a bit “how did you beat him out, all the time. he…he worships you in a way” I said and he cackled a laugh, nudging Marcus

“I like her! That’s funny darling. Uh- nothing. I just can ride his ass constantly but can never get ahead. Carmen is …. Something. I don’t know how he possibly manages, but -“

“He doesn’t sleep, or eat.” I said truthfully and shrug, and with the bluntness of my voice he just raised his eyebrows, eyes flicking from me to Syd to Marcus and back to me.

“Doesn’t sleep” he repeats and I nod, shrugging again

“Rarely- empire. You know that place?” I asked and he nods carefully and I nod as well “yeah. That place. He wants the bear, to be better. That’s what he keeps saying. So, he can’t. He says he has no time -“

“Does he know who that place is run by?” He asked

“His old Boss” Syd said. And I look over to her to see her looking back at me carefully and I nodded

“Hates that guy. Never work for that guy, Luca he’s a jerk” I told him and he chuckled, nodding

“Yes. That is pretty well known, that’s actually something he’s known for. No one really knows how Fields manages…he seems to be-“

“A robot” I finish for him and he nods

“So- when you say he doesn’t sleep does he-“

“Maybe 2 hours a night. I’ve been telling him he’s gonna give himself a stroke - he doesn’t care. He gets up and four and passes out at 2:30. Sometimes, well- a lot of times he has to sleep until 5 and I keep snoozing his alarms cause he’s so dead to the world he doesn’t even hear them but he wakes usually at 5” I nod “and when he comes home he keeps working, he’s had to buy 3 new sets of porcelain since they’re working for their star or whatever he keeps smashing them. My cat is starting to actively dislike him and his outbursts.” I explained. He motioned to Syd and she looked to him

“A star. Why the hell would you want one- weren’t we just talking about it? How it’s impossible to keep” He asked and she shrugged

“I said that too but Carmy said it’s what I wanted and I told him we didn’t have to but he insisted..”

“How did that thing go, Syd” I look at her and she shakes her head quickly to tell me to stop

“What thing?” Marcus asks “you had a thing?” He nudges her and she flashes a small smile, looking into her drink

“Girl thing- it’s nothing.” She lied and shrugged “let’s do shots! Luca you’ve done a proper tequila shot right?” She turned to the freezer and he laughed a bit

“Yes, Sydney we have limes and salt in England” he said, and I hopped off the counter to help her.

“Do you think Carmy hates him because he’s tall?” I asked her, my first drink already making me more honest and this leads Marcus and Syd to both crack up laughing

“Yo he would be piiissed if he heard her right now” Marcus laughs and I giggled

“It’s true!! Luca my boyfriend must be jealous of your height” I said and he laughed as well, shaking his head

“You are something. I’m seeing here how you and him work. You give em a run for his money I’m guessing” he said and I shrugged, grinning a bit.

“He said that was you. That working with you made him more motivated because for the first time since culinary school he felt someone could have beat him, so he had to learn how to be better and make it look easy so you panicked and he said it worked- also you have funny eyebrows I love them” I giggled and Syd sets a shot in front of each of us

“And you are very talkative, I see who’s the extrovert for your relationship” he joked “also, thank you? I think? I’ve been told” he smiled a bit and Syd put down the plate of cut lime slices.

“Hands” she said and I offered her my hand while Luca said

“With what?” And her, Luca, and Marcus stared at eachother for a moment before they cracked up

“Dude” she said and shook her head “give me your hand, idiot” she joked, taking his hand and he smiled adorably, cheeks painted a cute shade of pink and -

Holy shit. He totally likes her. He wants her!

“Syd I have to pee- also get my face on. Are you coming?” I said and took my shot quickly, licking the back of my hand and biting my wedge of lime “sure” she said and took her, dragging her by her sleeve to the bathroom and shutting the door

“Okay - uh- what’s up?” She said as I shut the toilet lid and sat

“He wants you” I said and she raised her brows, clearly confused

“Marcus? I already told you I’m not-“

“Luca. Sexy tall British man? Looks like he should be in vogue? Yeah, that he. And he totally wants your ass! You have to fuck him and tell me if he’s-“ she quickly covered my mouth, laughing as she shushes me

“Jesus! Winnie! You are loud!!” She said and I giggled

“Okay well- tell me if he’s hung” I told her quieter when she took her hand off and she shook her head, giggling and flushing the toilet behind me to make it sound like we didn’t just come in here to gossip.

“Yeah we’ll see about that, I think 3 shots is enough for you.” She teased. I got ready quickly, changing into the little black dress I had borrowed to Syd a while ago that seemed to fit much snugger now that Carmy had been feeding me so well.

When I opened the door and made my way back to see the guys and Syd talking about some candy dessert thing that Luca had been working on and I grab my phone their conversation having brought something to mind

“Syd- can we make this sometime? Carmy is too busy” I showed her the candied fruit with the yummy looking crunchy coating on it. She frowned a bit, shrugging

“Yes of course we can- but why would Carmy be too busy? Is he acting like that to you all the time, win?” She asked and I shook my head.

“Not yelling- just…not paying attention at least not like he used to. I think we’re going through a dry spell, ya know?” I shrug and sip on my mixed drink I still hadn’t finished.

“A dry spell?” She chuckles “what are you- 55?” I blushed and shrug

“Lets just go out! Ok! Fuck him he didn’t wanna come so let’s not talk about him. Let’s have fun something he doesn’t know how to do” I said and ordered the Uber for us on the app.

By the time we got to the club, I had found that Luca is very funny, and also very fun- and he also didn’t have a bad taste in music. I could see why Carmy was jealous of him back when they used to work together, even though he physically leaves little to be jealous of at all, but I knew he didn’t give a shit about what was going on in other people’s heads. At least, he didn’t think about it too often since he was so lost in his own.

“What are we drinking?” Marcus asks as we head in “I got first round” he added and we all piped up then, causing him to roll his eyes playfully “funny, everyone can make a decision when a wallet comes out. I’ll be back” he said and made his way up to the bar after he got our orders.

“I’m gonna be right back” I told Syd and squeezed her arm, making my way around the room until I found someone who looked like they sold.

“Hiii!” I said kindly and showed them the 50 I had folded in my hand “got something?” I asked and she nods

“Need an 8?” She replied and I nodded, grabbing the bag when she went to ‘shake my hand’ and she took the money.

“Been a pleasure, have a good night” I made my way to the bathroom and locked the door behind me, tightly rolling up a single I had and doing a line off the back of the sink before putting the little baggie in my bra and giggling as I feel the warm rush of relaxation and confidence wash over me. I hadn’t been able to party like this since before Carmy and I started dating.

It didn’t make him the happiest to know that I previously dabbled in drugs, but I only did it sometimes, very rarely. Plus, what does Carmen know about a party? Nothing. So his opinion on this specific matter holds no water. I wiped off the bottom of my nose and fixed my lipgloss before making my way back out to the group. “Let’s dance bitches!!” I said excitedly pulling Syd l and Sadie with me to the dance floor and Marcus and luca followed suit .

I didn’t get back home until around 3 head pounding from the comedown and a cracked phone screen, I wasn’t even really sure how that happened. Luca had to carry me up the stairs because I kept stumbling and he handled his liquor far better then I did. I also found that he was a fabulous dancing partner. “Gnight !! Sexy British chef dude I’ll see youuuuu-“ I point, looking up at him “when that thing”

“The Ever funeral dinner, yes darling. Now you should go get some rest yeah? Where are your keys?” He asked and I shrug, leaning against the door “dunno. Carmy should maybe be home” I said and knock on the door “Carmy!!” I call through the door and knock again and heard shuffling and the door opened

“Where the fuck have you been baby-“ he pulled me into a hug, shutting the door

“Hey !! Don’t be rude didn’t you even say hey!” I said and he looks at me confused

“How much have you had to drink, say hey to who you? Hey. Now why do you look high” he grabs my face, observing my blown out wide pupils

“Say hi to Luca your frienddd. Bye Luca!!” I call through the door not having realized he snuck away since he didn’t want to deal with Carmen questioning why he was holding up his girlfriend who was so inibreated she could barely stand and was high as a kite on south side coke.

” N’yeah Cause m’high” I yawn “kinda. Think I have a little left though m’saving it.” I said without thinking and head off to the bedroom, shedding my shoes and dress in a trail behind me as I go

“High on what” he followed and I lay down, not even really listening anymore, the only thing filling my mind was that I was overstimulated and exhausted.

“M‘not high” I lie after a few moments when I realize what he said and rolled on my stomach, getting comfy under the covers.

“Winnie what did you do?” He comes over, sitting down next to me and rubbing my back lightly “what did you take, baby. Tell me” he said and I look up at him

“Alcohol” I said and he nodded

“And?” He urges me to continue and I shake my head.

“Do I have to look through your shit babe, really” he huffs and rubs his face “I don’t have fucking time Winnie!” He said frustratedly.

And that was when I snapped, I couldn’t find where he got off, judging me and what I did at parties. Especially when he could hardly give a fuck about what I was doing, apparently unless I was waiting at home for him like a sad puppy, just for him to shower and collapse next to me with nothing but a “g’night hun’”

“Can you leave me the fuck alone? Jesus Christ Carmen! It doesn’t fucking matter. I bought an 8th of coke and did a few fucking lines! Are you happy? Now can I go to bed? because I’m fucking human and need sleep. I know That concept is foreign to you. Get out of my face what did you say yesterday? Oh- I don’t need the bullshit. Go to work or something.” I snap, over tired, over hungry, and with a now what was turning into a migraine “bad enough I’m gonna have to fuckin babysit you at that dinner Friday” I mumble and he got up, heading back to the kitchen for which I was grateful, but not without a muttered ‘what the fuck ever.’ Act like an asshole, get treated like an asshole would be my behavior going forward. If he wanted to play ball, so can I.

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡ ⋙

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tofulikesmala · 5 months

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hii!! how are you? i hope good, could you write a draken x fem reader, maybe smut if you feel comfortable with it, where reader is a shy nerd and since she met draken she changed completely and you do the rest!! sorry for bad english but its not much first language!!😭

At the flip of a coin

Draken x fem reader

author notes: hello, thank you for requesting! Unfortunately, I am a MINOR, so I don’t write smut. I apologize for the inconvenience. ANDAHHHB I TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE THIS IM SOS SORRY

It was time for midterms. Again. This time, Draken finally mustered enough motivation to study for it the first time in his life. The cold breeze of the aircon caused his long hair to sway a little. The quietness of the library was in contrast to the noisy environment of the Tokyo manji gang. Observing the tables—which were mostly packed with people, he sat himself down at a table which only had one person.

You watched as this tall and muscular guy sat down on your table. Looking back at the three assignments that was due the next day, you sighed. Well, you can’t do anything about it, might as well not complain, it’ll be beneficial for you anyways! Hey, it might even teach you to write faster! Looking at the guy who was flipping through his notebook, creases forming on his eyebrow, glaring at his notebook as he scowled. PleasedonttalktomePleasedonttalktomePleasedonttalktome

Placing his very clean textbook on the table, he begun flipping through the pages, not understanding a single thing at all. Staring at the girl in front of him, he sighed, before nudging her and placed his textbook in front of her. “Hey, if you can, can you explain what it’s trying to say?” The girl took some time to process his words, but after that she read the pages of the textbook, flipping here and there quickly. “This is my curriculum for next year…but be glad I still studied one year ahead.” She mumbled quietly. Draken jaw internally dropped. Which motherfucker would want to study a year ahead? The girl sitting in front of him, apparently. The girl started mumbling words Draken couldn’t even make up. “Can you speak up. You’re too soft.” A tinge of red appeared on her cheeks as she cleared her throat. “Alright….sorry…” Speaking a little louder, she explained the formulas, how to solve it, scribbling all over his textbook. Draken had to stretch his ears to be as long as a Buddha’s in order to hear her clearly. But Draken didn’t ask her to speak louder, since she seemed to have social anxiety. Shaking her leg, hand shaky, eh Draken decided not to push any further. After like half an hour of explaining the chapters tested for the exam, she put down her pen and sighed. “W-well, I hope you understood everything…..sorry if my explanation isn’t the best, I’m not very good at teaching, I mean I can understand the topic but I just can’t teach I’m really weird and all, so sorry. I’m so bad at teaching I hope you understood if it was too complicated just tell me….” As the girl went on and on, her voice got softer and softer, until she stopped speaking all together. “It was great, thanks.” Draken replied. The girl blushed a deeper shade of red. “T-thanks, it means a lot….” “Let’s be friends. You can help me with math and shit.” A deeper shade of red appeared on her cheeks. Friends….? Dang, she didn’t have a lot of that…. “I take that as a yes.” Draken stared at her before packing his things and walking away.

Time Skip. The young couple falls in love…

Dating Draken while being shy and nerdy would include….

Due to your shy personality, he feels an even more overwhelming sense of protectiveness over you

bring you to meet toman when your comfortable, of course

would 100% bonk anyone on the head if they try to make a dirty joke, he’d rather keep your innocence

A lot of times you rant about the topic your interested in to draken, although he doesn’t know what your talking about 90% of the time, he’ll listen anyways

remembers the stuff you rant about. He would see something related and would be like “hey don’t you like this”

very caring, protective and accepting! 10/10

if anyone bullies you, he’d beat them up, immediately

You groaned as your classmates who are a waste of oxygen forcefully pushed you against the locker again, slamming a hand beside you, causing all your books from your hand to fall to the ground. The smirk on his face only grew wider at your scared expression. What’s he gonna do next, beat you up? Like every other day? “If it isn’t the ner-” blood splattered on your cheek as your classmate fell onto the floor, blood trickling down your nose. Huh? What just happened? A tall figure loomed over you, as he placed his hands on your shoulders, a gentle but firm voice rang out. “Are you alright? Are you hurt anywhere?” You nodded your head, you were perfectly fine, after all. Draken nodded, before straddling the guy and beating the shit out of him, saying some curse words you didn’t even know, spitting insults here and there. As you were bullied quite frequently, more beating occurred. More shouts. More blood. More gore. More swears. Of course, it started to affect you in some way!

Three missing assignments, two exams, and 7 worksheets to complete by tomorrow. You were pissed. Very pissed. Things really decided not to go your way. You were sick, absent for only TWO days, and your asshole of a teacher decided to release all the homework that was meant for like, a fucking week. You weren’t even given an extension! Oh the urge to stab a knife into your teachers stomach and twist it, see her beg for mercy as more blood flowed out— “Ah!” You collapsed to the floor, scraping your knees on wooden floor somehow. “Oh! Isn’t this the WHORE who’s dating Draken? How did you even pull him, he’s so out of your league! Hahahah! I know, maybe it’s because you’re such a SLUT!” Of all days, she decided to piss you off today. Fuck. You were so done. Standing up, you launched right at her, pushing her onto the ground as you slammed her head against the locker. Screams sounded as both her and your classmates were shocked. Several others from other classes begun peeping their heads in, curious about the commotion. Grabbing her hair, you forcefully lifted her head, before slamming her head down again. You’ve seen draken do it many times, it was pretty easy to imitate. You lifted up her head tearing her hair. “I hope you get raped. Multiple times.” Taking your scissors, you brought it to her stomach, running the blade through her clothes. “I’m gonna make sure all the yellow fat from your stomach flows out.” Pressing a bit harder, the girl screamed and kicked, but the immense unknown strength from your body kept her down. Blood began to flow, but before you could continue, somebody picked you up, throwing away the scissors from your hands and pulling you into a hug. As you the scent of Draken’s shampoo filled your nose, you relaxed and leaned into his arms.

Draken went to the classroom too because, firstly, it’s your classroom, secondly, there was screaming.

But instead, he found you slamming your bully’s head on the floor, blood spilling everywhere.

He knew you would usually cower behind your own hands, but this time you didn’t even flinch.

“W-wha…?” Draken is SO confused, what happened to his cutie potootie pookie wookie sweet honey bear gentle girlfriend?

he can’t even MOVE. That’s until you started going a little too far

Back at the brothel, Draken used some wet wipes to gently scrub off the blood off your face. “So…who taught you all that….?” “You…?” You replied bluntly. Draken gulped. Guess there’s no turning back now

#tofu’s writing #draken x reader #tokyo rev x reader #tokyo revengers

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simpinberry · 2 years

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for my mental health i need hcs of bella ramsey x fem or gn reader with words of affirmation love language ‼️‼️

hi guys i’m back to feed you some more bella content ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ hope i did this right and that u guys like it :) also tysm for the requests

listen listen!!! after taking a shower she would 100% leave sweet compliments on the foggy mirror for u to read. will add ‘kiss your s/o’ to your to do lists.

will text/send photos of random things that reminds you of her throughout the day. she does this especially when she’s on set and you guys can’t talk much. they have your favorite snack there? sends u a photo and tells u theyre thinking of u. lots of i miss yous, love yous and that she can’t wait to be home to see u again. “text me abt what you get up to today babe” “pedro is making fun of me because i’m apparently such a simp for you, he is absolutely, in every way, correct ;).” “i saw a butterfly today n it reminded me of the pretty tattoo you have”

will watch u like the weirdo she is when you’re getting ready in the morning. sneaks up behind u and repeatedly attacks ur face with kisses. “i have the most beautiful gf in the world” “omg i love this purple eyeliner on you, it rlly suits you” “your curls look really defined today, the new conditioner you got is so good!! my beautiful bby”

is the type to whisper compliments in between kisses. yk like corny spelling out of i love you in between pecks? yep, does that. “i really really like you” “my darling” “mine” “you’re so cute” in between kisses hehehe.

spam texts you when you send/post a photo. in your dms/comment section screechingggg!! my mans is DOWN BADDD. needs and loves to comment “first” on ur posts. they actually make up most of ur comment section. “BABE IM DYING YOURE TOO BEAUTIFUL” “so glad we’ve advanced technology so i can stare at this photo 4life if i want to” “you+this dress= my death”

randomly tweets a photo of you, captioning it “this is my darling, be jealous, gn”

very validating when you’re upset and talks you through it. thanks you for speaking up and communicating abt anything that’s been bothering you. SPILLS THE TEA WITH YOUUU. you have a co worker you hate? she hates them too. listen to me when i say she is on ur side, she is shocked and they’ll even remember stuff you’ve previously told them to add to the fire. best bf frr “thank you for telling me babe, i’ll really keep it in mind next time, i’m so sorry for hurting your feelings like that” “it sounds like it’s been difficult for you to complete (insert task) you’ve been working through it so well :)” “he said what??? yeah like he’s one to talk, go go! continue tell me more i’m invested” “babe you’re honestly so right, this is why i always listen to u”

definitely acknowledges you so so much when you accomplish something. will go on about how proud they are of you, how well you’ve done and how wonderful it is. big or small, bellas on her way to pour her heart out to you. would be unbelievably encouraging throughout the process too, telling you to keep going and trust the progress. “you’ve got this babe, go on :))” “that drawing is absolutely amazing, you’re so talented omg look at the details” “you submitted your assignment?? ahead of time?? that’s my girl frr” “these cookies are amazing, thank u sm for baking them ughh give me a hug you’re the best baker ever, they’re so soft!!”

you guys will be facetiming one night when shes away in a different country for filming. she’s been gone two months and you really miss them. you get a bit emotional talking abt it and they really listen, telling you to let it out. just before you guys hang up they tell you to look at the last drawer of your jewellery box. turns out she wrote you a letter before she left, many letters in fact, for when you really miss them. you can’t help but sob reading it. she attached a polaroid photo of you guys kissing at bottom of the page. she’s so incredibly kind in the letter, telling you how wonderful its been getting to know you these past few months. "hehe youre probably crying from how nice im being" istg this mf even teases you in writing. when you're finished you call her back, they immediately burst out laughing at your blood shot eyes, “hahahhs i knew you’d cry”. sneaks in a ‘you look so pretty even when you cry’. tells you they have more hidden around your room and that when you need it she’ll tell you where you can find more ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ

goodnight!! if i made any mistakes, no i didn’t. byebye!!

#bella ramsey x reader #bella ramsey #bella ramsey fluff #ellie the last of us #wlw #lgbtq #bella ramsey gf #bella ramsey head cannon #lesbian #nonbinary #genderfluid

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radiant-reid · 2 years

Note

Single mom reader and her little one asking spencer to officially be their adoptive dad? 🥺🥺 SO CUTE he wouldn't even know what to do with himself

he would be bawling his eyes out

"Mommy, I got it," Daisy says happily, holding the document up as she runs into the kitchen.

She brought up the idea of Spencer adopting her a while ago when, as an overthinker, she asked what would happen to her if you died. Since then, she'd been asking about it for weeks, reading over your shoulder while you Googled.

Her excitement falls away after a moment of looking at it. "What if he says no?"

"Baby." You coo, bending down so you're at eye level with her. "He loves you so much. I think he'd love to be your dad."

Daisy has been calling him dad for a while which made him cry when it first happened, and you're almost 100% certain he's going to agree. "Okay." She says. "I'll come out when he gets here."

She had already devised a plan, hiding it in her book so he would find it when he was reading.

Spencer gets in a while later, walking over to find you on the couch. "Hi, beautiful. How are you?"

"Good." You say, successfully hiding your smirk.

Daisy is there a moment later, holding out her book. "Can you read to me, dad?" She asks. "Here."

Spencer nods, sitting down his stuff before sitting next to you. She sits on his lap so she can see the words, and you both eagerly wait as he starts reading.

When he gets to the page she has hidden it in, he frowns. "Dais, you left something in here." He tells her before opening it up and reading it. His eyes widen as he looks down at her and her little grin. He reads it slowly again. "You mean this?" He asks, already tearful.

She nods lightly. "Can you be my dad legally?" She asks. "Please."

That's all it takes to make him cry while he answers her. "Yes, I would love that. More than anything."

Daisy turns around so she can hug him properly. You cup his cheek to try and wipe all the tears off before leaning forward to kiss him. He makes it almost impossible with his grin.

"Thank you." You say.

He shakes his head as he continues to cuddle Daisy. "Thank you."

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid fandom #spencer reid blurb

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docholligay · 7 months

Text

Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir

Thank you @becauseforoncethisisme for sponsoring this! Regulars know this, but if you're new here, all opinions are mine and it's fine to disagree with me, but please don't get weird about it.

Nonspoilery:

Good God in high heaven and low hell, this is so much better than the first book. This is both a personal and professional opinion. The only problem with it being, I cannot in good conscience tell anyone to read the first book in order to get to the second. I don’t think it’s so good as to justify that. That’s a pretty tall order. In all, though, if you read Gideon the Ninth and thought, “Hm. Okay, that’s enough for now,” this might whet your whistle a little bit more.

Spoilery:

Wow did I like this better than Gideon, you were all so right and it does not bother me even one solitary bit to say so. I think it starts slow, and I don’t know that I really ever connected with the second person bits--once I figured out what it meant, i wanted it to be confirmed and stop-- and of course Muir’s style occasionally grates on me (Muir and I are the same age. I know we grew up in the same fandom environment, and part of the reason I know that is I recognize elements of her style from fanfics being written then as now. This is stuff from like, sporking days. She’s so talented, and so loves these strange, memey asides even in lovely moments. That being said, i think this book strikes a much, much better balance with that and there were even times I found it fun, so, things are improving) But overall I would say I liked this book just fine, and would consider reading it again on some winter night. LEAPS AND BOUNDS over my experience of GtN

I struggled so hard with the first 150 pages or so of this book. I think it was a combination of how little I remembered from the first book, the taste the first book left in my mouth, and the fact that I am just, too stupid for high-concept fantasy. So all the stuff about thanergy and thelergy and conversion, I just, sat there not possible caring less about any of it. I don’t care now, and I came away liking the book! This is for someone, certainly, but I am not it. If this hadn’t been a commission, I think I would have given up at a certain point. I usually give a book 100 pages and this wouldn’t have done it for me*

At the end of the day, I think one of the things this book can be about--for me, it’s about more than one thing, but this is the easy reach--is about grief. And how being willing to give yourself a Fantasy Lobotomy, if that’s what it takes, to avoid the hurt and loss that grief brings in, and the guilt, only ends up hurting yourself and everyone around you.

Also, it doesn’t bring them back. Forgetting them in every way possible does nothing to bring them back. Now, Harrow is a special case, so for her it can’t only be about avoiding pain, because what she’s also doing, because of how the whole Lyctorhood thing works, is, in a sense, keeping Gideon on life support. Like is said later in the book, shoving her in a drawer she can’t open, but so long as the drawer is never opened, Gideon is alive. It’s Harrow living her entire life in the doorway where where a policeman stands, ready to tell you someone you loved is dead, and she won’t let him speak. Because it’s not true until he does.

I like Harrow so much more in this one by virtue of the fact that this book cares so much less if we like or forgive her. Because of the way it works with perspective, and the way it’s trying not to tip its hand to the fact that Gideon is our second-person narrator, we get a much more neutral version of Harrow’s life

How Lyctors work: Love it. What a choice. My favorite takeaway from the first book, and perhaps the only thing I still think about actively while lying in bed at night, is the necromancer-cavalier system. I think it is fantastic, I love it, it works perfectly for imagining all shades of relationship and is very fun to do to your blorbim. I can’t remember if we found this out so explicitly at the end of the first book--as I said in an aside post while I was reading HtN, the pool scene in GtN pissed me off so much that I had a rage blackout for much of the book and forgot it the second I wrote about it--but the idea that the necromancer can only become this sort of ultimate power by killing this person they, by necessity, have some level of intimate bond with? Exceptional. I love that they are, in a sense, protected and powered by a person who loved them, that they murdered. I am so unbelievably into this idea, and the idea of those who can DO this, and who can’t. Reeled me back to my blorbos all over again.

Which of course makes the whole thing with Harrow so interesting, because Harrow is someone who can’t deal with the cost of it. In full fairness to her, it wasn’t a choice she got to make, but she certainly does Gideon’s memory no honor by refusing to even acknowledge her sacrifice. She’s spitting on the roast lamb on the altar, so to speak. It’s sort of the murdered children problem all over again, though a million times better done: If an impossible sacrifice is made for you, what do you do to earn it? It’s Saving Private Ryan, and you have to spend your whole life hoping you earned a sacrifice someone made without your consent. And you should! What will you do, to earn your place? I know, i know, we all hate that except for me, but if Gideon died to make you a demigod, earn your power, and take your responsibility.

Ianthe: I love a good horrible, manipulative cunt, and Ianthe certainly is that. This isn’t even me joking, she’s one of my favorite characters in the book (Though not my absolute favorite) and also my poster child for “I support women’s wrongs.” I think it’s so smart and great that at the end, Ianthe makes the wrong choice, and that you are sitting there screaming for her not to do that, and yet when she does it, it feels completely correct. Of course this is a thing that she both can and would do. Ianthe is about hedging her bets, and above all else, about Ianthe. She killed Naberius as soon as she figured out the deal. We get the sense that she feels…i’m not sure how I want to say this…it’s not that she doesn’t feel about it, but she feels inevitable about it, also. To her, there was no other choice.

She is willing to help Harrow destroy herself, shut herself off, because Ianthe loves a good “you fucking owe me” but also because other than how it benefits or hurts her, what the fuck does she care? I love her, it’s how I wish I could write Minako if I could get away with it. She’s clever and fun and terrible. I think she’s also, narratively, a great balance for Harrow’s whole ‘That girl in homeroom in an Invader Zim hoodie” vibe.

Mercymorn my beloved: If Ianthe is my poster child for, “I support women’s wrongs” than Mercymorn is my ‘tag yourself.’ The longer the book when on, the more I liked her because the more I understood her. As an old lady who has been a part of things for many years, who has seen them grow and fall apart, who has lost people I loved and worked with people I hate, I loved everything about her. I love how utterly done she is with the whole thing. The way she so clearly loved Cristabel, and how she reacts to the pain of that love in a way I understand, and didn’t realize how clearly I understood her until Mercymorn killed the Emperor. Then it all hit at once, I remember that moment pretty early on in the book where it mentions that is you say Cristabel’s name to Mercymorn, she reacts like she’s stung. The way she yells at Harrow to never use her name with her, filled with rage. That is a kind of grief I recognize. I don’t want to talk about it and i’ll fucking kill you if you remind me.

I felt every ounce of hurt, a plucking of a twin string, when she said, “This is the chance for unloveable Mercymorn--critical Mercymorn--to show you that she is the most capable of her name.”

And then she kills the emperor. Do I think he was sorry? Do I think he never wanted any harm to come to Cristabel**? Does Mercymorn think that? It doesn’t fucking matter. Whether he feels bad about it or not, it’s academic at best. She murdered Cristabel because a man she trusted, a man she took to be her God, lied to her about it. He told her she, to save the world, had to give up a person she adored. Had to do it herself. I, too, would rip him atom from atom, if I were Mercymorn***. Maybe she does forgive him, but only because he is about to make repentance in blood.

She’s my favorite character in the whole fucking book, bar none.

(On that note, sort of, I actually came to very much love Augustine.)

Oh! One thing I loved, so much, and I don’t think anyone I’ve seen say anything even offhandedly about the book, is during the fight with the Sleeper, how Ortus’ BELIEF and PASSION form the basis to call up Mattias Fucking Nonius. Is that not incredible? That faith, can be so strong, that Abigail could call up a man that none of them ever knew, who is basically an idea more than a man, to fight? I think it’s such a lovely little lesson tucked in there, because we have been making fun of Ortus’ belief system for the entire book, mocking the way he recites this, and in the end, his deeply held belief matters, it matters so much, and I adored that as a real reversal of mocking someone faithful.

I think part of the underlying problem with GtN is I just don’t like Gideon. I don’t like her point of view, I don’t like her character voice, I don’t like her general vibe, and the narrative does like her, and wants you to like her. In this book, it’s fine because so much of it is not from her perspective, but it became pretty clear to me that so much of what I disliked (though not all) of the first book was a Gideon-based problem. And you can’t escape her in the first book.

This all flew immediately back to me when Gideon is taking up Harrow’s body and also the narrative duties. I cannot stand her character voice. Muir is capable of being so smart and so beautiful in her prose, but not only is Gideon herself irritating, but she inspires Muir to do this…recitation of memes, the one I can think of off the top of my head is “Jail for mother” Tamsyn i will fucking kill you. I will not read Nona, because the back page tells me, threateningly, that Gideon will be back in Nona, and not only can i not handle reading another word from her, but also that will unmake the beauty of telling Harrow that she has to let Gideon go, that she has to let them become one and thus lose Gideon, because of course it does because it’s a fantasy book, and fantasy just Does This A Lot. Stop letting people come back! Kill these motherfuckers and leave them dead!

The thing about Pyrrha and Wake having an affair with Gideon’s body, and wake having God’s baby in order to open the locked tomb, it’s such a weird aside in a weird moment, that I can see I am going to forget about it. It’s so strange! I mean, it explains why Gideon didn’t die when she was supposed to, and I don’t have a problem with it per se, but I also don’t know that I have any feelings about it other than, ‘hm. Strange.”

In all: Not a bad book! Enjoyed it more as the book went on, Mercymorn for Lyfe. I hope Ianthe continues being the world’s sexiest and worst person.

Did you want to ask me something? As long as you’re not a dick about it, ask away! Let’s have fun.

*I suppose that’s my own personal de jure vs de facto, because truthfully I can’t remember the last time I straight up did not finish a book. Perhaps I’m just lying to myself. I dnf shows and movies all the time, but not books.

** No, I don’t think that.

***Although I’m actually not all that sure in my marriage if I’m the necro. I think I’m actually the cavalier. I don’t think Jill would feel a whole lot of patience over having murdered me either, though.

#Doc reads #now mom is gonna read them both I'll report back

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jerzwriter · 11 months

Text

Rollercoaster

Thank you to @starsarewithinme for the <100 words drabble request for Trystan, Carolina/Rollercoaster. It's a ton of silly fluff, but I hope you will enjoy it!

Book: Crimes of Passion (Post Book 2) Pairing: Trystan Thorne x F!MC (Carolina Rose) Words: Uhm. 1,400. (Only 1,300 more than 100! lol) Rating: Teen Category: Utter Fluff Summary: Trystan offers Carolina a penny for her thoughts... then he wishes he could give them back.... just a little. A/N: Participating in @choicesnovchallenge | Fireworks Night

There was much that Trystan Thorne admired about Carolina Rose. If asked to list the qualities and attributes he found most endearing, he would demand at least a week’s time to capture them all, knowing he’d still come up short when his time reached an end. Her natural beauty, incomparable sass, and sheer audacity were the first things to pique his interest. But, the more he came to know her, the more he knew her mind was the most fascinating thing about the woman who owned his heart.

She was brilliant... but not in a way that can be learned from books, but in a manner that is only earned through life experience. Sharp, intuitive, and quick-witted... she had a knack for knowing just what to do, just what to say, regardless of circumstances. Facing down a serial killer? Cutting a bigot down to size on the subway? Making him smile after a grueling day? Tending to an injured kitten outside her uncle’s bar? Carolina always sprung into action before he could even take stock of the situation, leaving him more awestruck each time.

It’s no wonder trying to read her mind had become one of his favorite pastimes, whether they were at work or at play. Sometimes, she’d catch him staring at her intently as she poured over the details of a case, stared out a window, or bopped around her apartment, dancing to music only she could hear. He’d often ask what she was thinking, and he could now guess with about fifty percent accuracy – something he was immensely proud of.

But recently, Carolina’s therapist all but ordered her to find little ways to reduce stress in her everyday life. And this time, it was Trystan who sprung into action. He ran to a corner gift shop, returning with a vast assortment of colorful gel pens, retro stickers, glitter glue, and notebooks festooned with images of unicorns, rainbows, and cartoon cats.

“What on earth is this for?” Carolina chuckled as Trystan scratched his head.

“I don’t know, exactly,” he admitted. “But how can anyone be stressed in the presence of glitter, unicorns, and adorable kittens? We’ll find a way to put it all to good use.”

And, of course, Carolina did. Popping in her earbuds, she’d pick the most insipid pop songs she could find, typically from Trystan’s playlists, and doodle whatever came to mind. Soon, the pink and lavender pages of the notebooks he gifted her were filled with Carolina Rose originals. Every time she did this, she was so happy and at ease that Trystan forgot about his mind-reading hobby. After all, seeing her so content warmed his heart. But some days, like today, he was curious.

Carolina’s smiles had been punctuated with delightful little giggles, but when he peeked over her shoulder to see what she was drawing, he couldn’t make sense of the abstract loops and swirls. She caught him staring at her over his latte and removed her earbuds with a smirk.

“Yes?” she asked playfully.

“Nothing,” she swore she saw him blush. “I’m just....”

“Just what?”

“I’m wondering what you’re thinking of. You seem so happy this morning.”

“I am,” she grinned, shutting her notebook. “I’ve been doodling all the things I want to do with you.”

“Oh... really,” he smiled lasciviously with a raised brow.

Carolina tossed her head back in laughter. “Keep it in your pants, Thorne. These thoughts are as PG-13 as the Hello Kitty notebooks you gave me.”

Trystan sheepishly pushed a shiny silver quarter across the table, then placed it in Carolina’s hand.

“What is the saying? A penny for your thoughts? This should buy me at least twenty-five of yours. Now I must know... what is it you wish to do with me,” he grinned.

Carolina jumped onto his lap, eagerly pointing to the various drawings. She pointed to a pair of ice skates, telling him they’d be going to Rockefeller Center, Wollman Rink, and Bryant Park very soon. Then she tapped on a sketch of a picnic basket she planned to fill with treats to share. Some waves along a beautiful shore, with a blanket made for two, were just how she imagined their trips to the beach next summer would be. Then, her excitement doubled.

“And this! This is the best of all!”

“What is it?” he asked.

“The Cyclone. At Coney Island... have you ever been?”

“Uhm... I can’t say that I have.”

Carolina clapped her hands with delight, a squeal befitting a thirteen-year-old escaping her. “Good!” she beamed. “Then I get to take you on your first ride! I found myself a Cyclone virgin!”

“A Cyclone... virgin? What exactly do you plan to do with me? Offer me as a sacrifice?”

“Trystan,” she reprimanded. “Given our history, can we refrain from talking about sacrifices?”

“Duly noted,” he smiled. “But what about the Cyclone?”

“I told you! We’re riding it! I figured we could do that as soon as Luna Park opens in April. Then, we can head over to Jersey and go to Six Flags. We’ll start with El Toro and then move on to Nitro and Kingda Ka. The following weekend, we have to go to Hershey Park! Their coasters aren’t as scary, but they have so many! And I don’t care what anyone says, Storm Runner is still enough to scare the crap out of you! We’re going to have....”

She came down from her reverie long enough to notice the pale expression spreading on her boyfriend’s face.

“Trystan? Is everything all right?”

“Yes. Sure. Fine.... it’s only November.”

“And?” she asked, perplexed.

“That gives me four, five months to prepare. Are their classes?”

“Classes?” She giggled. “For riding rollercoasters?”

“No... classes to get over my fear of riding rollercoasters.”

“Trystan Thorne! You’re not telling me that you, the former prince of Drakovia, are afraid of... rollercoasters.”

“It’s a little detail we hid from the public eye. It would have brought great shame to the family. However, I assure you, I am not afraid. The more appropriate word would be horrified. I am absolutely horrified by rollercoasters. So, needless to say, I have to end up with a girlfriend with a rollercoaster fetish.”

“I wouldn’t call it a fetish,” she laughed. “But I do love me a good coaster.”

“Right... so, are their classes?”

Carolina looped her arms around his neck. “Trystan, I’m teasing you. But if you’re really frightened by them, I’m certainly not going to force you to go on with me.”

“But if it’s something you’re looking forward to, I want to do it with you.”

She placed a quick peck on his cheek. “And that means so much to me, but it’s OK. We can double date with Luke and Ruby. She loves a good coaster as much as I do, but Luke, not so much. So we can be all badass and you guys can hold our purses or something.”

“Great,” Trystan sighed. “I’d like to at least try. Don’t they have kiddie coasters I can start with?”

“Sure, but we probably surpass the height limits. They are kiddie coasters, after all.”

“Damn!” he spat.

“It’s really all right, babe. There are plenty of fun things we can do at amusement parks without putting you on a rollercoaster.”

“Are you sure?”

“Very!”

“So, tell me about these fun things,” he asked, wagging his brows.

“Well, there is the merry-go-round.... the bumper cars....”

“Oh, I excel at bumper cars. You are going down, Detective Rose!”

“HA! I learned to drive on the Grand Concourse in the Bronx, baby... we’ll see about that!”

A big smile spread on her face as she pointed to a page virtually covered in an explosion of glitter.

“And, of course, there is this. The fireworks at the end of the night. We’ll watch together with a delicious treat in hand. It can be popcorn, cotton candy, ice cream.... what do you think you’ll want?”

“If I’m snuggled up with you? Then I’ll already have my delicious treat.”

“Aww, you’re the best, Trystan,” Carolina teased. “Even if you are a rollercoaster wuss.”

“I’m sorry, Carolina, but no one is perfect. Not even me.”

“Nope,” she said with a bop to his nose. “But you come damn close.”

Carolina was surprised to see him take out his phone; his attention shifted away from her.

“Hey, what are you doing? “

“I’m looking into books on how to overcome silly fears. I’m getting on those coasters with you, Carolina. After all... you deserve perfection.”

@choicesficwriterscreations - Tags on reblog.

#choices fanfic #playchoices #choices stories you play #crimes of passion #trystan thorne #trystan thorne x f!mc #trystan x carolina #crimes of passion choices #playchoices fanfic #rollercoasters

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cleos-cafe · 2 years

Note

hello!! can i request a relationships hcs with silver (twst) and his gender neutral!s/o? thank you!!

☽ʀᴏᴍᴀɴᴛɪᴄ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ꜱɪʟᴠᴇʀ!☾

Hi, welcome to the blog anon, I hope you enjoy your stay and the content!

-Sincerely with much love Dahlia

Summary: Silver's General Romantic Headcanons

The reader will be referred to as you

Part 1 (you're here right now) | Part 2

P.S Read at the bottom of the page when finished reading please.

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First of all, let's start with the pre-relationship steps.

Silver is pretty calm, which is a relief for you considering the amount of headaches you've suffered with so many overplots and the several times where you've been included in the first-year's problems.

Your first meeting was something… odd?

After leaving Grim with Deuce and Ace (which you would regret before long) you ended up walking through the NRC facility, inadvertently bumping into a boy under a tree peacefully sleeping.

He was so beautiful, he seemed to hypnotize you with such beauty, so much so that you didn't notice when you crouched down next to him and looked at him closely.

Once you recovered your senses a wave of embarrassment swept over you and you quickly moved away trying not to wake him up, deciding just to sit next to him and enjoy the silence and calm of the place.

You don't know how much time had passed since then, until you heard how that sleeping beauty was waking up.

"Hmmmm…. yawn …. oh hey, who are you?"

You couldn't help but laugh lightly at how calm he looked, though you were aware that he would have no reason to be alarmed since you both had the same uniform and studied together, but you were used to how some students' first reaction was to yell at you and try to start a fight.

You quickly introduced yourself and explained that you had found him asleep on the grass so you decided to sit next to him since he looked so comfortable.

After he heard your name and was 100% conscious he made a comment that left you somewhat surprised.

"You were there when the incident happened at the Spelldrive tournament, weren't you? I knew you looked familiar, you were with those two who had marks on their faces and the guy with the wolf ears weren't you?"

You were somewhat impressed when you heard him, after all what you were usually known for was either the overplots or the incident you had earlier in the year (don't ask which of the two it was anyway, though the way he recognized you is related to one of the overplots).

The two of you ended up talking for quite a while and a certain fae had been spying on both of you under the pretext of looking for Silver.

Time was passing and things were changing, as was your friendship with Silver.

Over time you both ended up being quite close, to the point that you were often invited to Diasomnia (to the chagrin of a certain green hair who, although he denied it, was slowly getting used to your presence) and taking part in one celebration or another.

Sometimes it was you who helped Lilia and Sebek to look for Silver when he fell asleep, other times you stayed by his side enjoying the tranquility, it all depended on how the days were going.

It's not like he hasn't changed either, once he was more comfortable with you he used to tell you stories of his childhood, helping you with what he can considering he's a year ahead of you (he gets to a point where he compliments how good you are with the sword [this is completely canon, in the game in Silver PE Uniform voice line, he thinks MC has a talent for the sword. Home transition 2 "I think you've got some talent with a sword. I'd like to see you fight seriously sometime.")

It wasn't until Silver began to feel a strange sensation that things began to change.

After an emotional talk with Lilia where I explained to her what I was feeling, Silver started to change her behavior with you, starting to be more and more careful with you.

Like for example the time when because of Ace you ended up in the infirmary for falling off his broom, the blow was a bit hard and when you woke up Silver was there, asleep, but he was there.

At that moment you realized how much he appreciated you and you started to develop feelings for him.

Fast forward a few months later, both of your feelings were painfully obvious. To such an extent that Lilia and Adeuce had to give you both a push, ending in a confession that many expected but that was just as beautiful as the first time you met Silver. ♥

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Hi! I hope you liked the 1st part of these hcs, I will soon make the 2nd one, look forward to the next one, I promise to upload it soon!

-Sincerely with much love Dahlia

#twst headcanons #twst x reader #twst wonderland #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst silver #twst silver x reader #silver vanrouge #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader

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kindheart525 · 1 year

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What do the Thirdverse Mane 6 couples do for their dates, when not preoccupied with work and their kids?

Twilight Sparkle x Sunburst: They have a sort of book club that’s just the two of them, where they both read a book and then take one or two days a month to write a thesis together on it. They get extremely passionate and in depth about it, with a number of papers easily exceeding 50 pages. I would imagine they publish some that they especially want the world to see but not always; it’s all in good fun as an intellectual bonding activity. It really brings them closer together as they engage in healthy debate and learn more from and about each other. Also they still love to go antiquing together just like in the show!

Applejack x Sugar Belle: They send the kids on a few days away with Big Mac or Apple Bloom and they take the kitchen to themselves for a baking weekend! It’s a passion both of them share and I think they’d spend the time not only discussing different recipes but also the goings on of their life and their personal values and whatnot. Much like when they were dating; it makes for a healthy and communicative relationship. The kids would certainly come home to tons of apple-flavored treats to enjoy (and even some with other flavors thanks to Sugar’s more varied palate)!

Rarity x Filthy Rich: Rarity would 100% love to take extravagant trips so she and Rich would absolutely go on a lot of those, distinct from obligatory travel for business or other high society commitments. They do bring their kids along, not wanting to leave them to miss out on any once-in-a-lifetime memories, but they hire a babysitter/nanny to come with them so they can reserve some of the itinerary for just the two of them. There are pretty much endless opportunities for what they could do together, depending on where they travel to. Rarity and Rich thrive on these experiences giving their relationship so much variety, but with how busy they are all the time, I imagine they’re also happy to spend a date night alone at home with wine and rose petals.

Rainbow Dash x Big Macintosh: I can see Big Mac loving nothing more than to lie back against a sturdy old tree and watch his radiant love perform dazzling tricks in the sky. Rainbow Dash loves the attention of course, knowing she’s admired so much for her talents, but I imagine she would also wish he could join her up there. Thus leading to her trying to carry him with her (she’s so strong yet so small - would she succeed?) or otherwise looking for some other way to get him up there. Big Mac would appreciate that even more than the stunts she performs, the fact she thought about him. If not that, they might race around with Dash flying through the trees and Big Mac running along with her, letting loose for some good lighthearted fun.

Fluttershy x Quibble x Pharynx: Nature hikes or weekend camping trips would be their favorite pastimes; they sometimes go with the kids and sometimes without. Fluttershy has lots of fun talking about all the fauna and flora while Quibble is enjoying learning new things, definitely taking notes along the way. All the while Pharynx is playfully joking about being their bodyguard, even going so far as to stand outside of the tent and keep watch at night. (I’ve recently developed the headcanon that only juvenile changelings need regular sleep and that adult changelings can stay up for days).

Pinkie Pie x Tempest Shadow x Luna: Since all three of them have a sense of humor in some way, I think they might enjoy lighthearted, harmless pranking sessions even as grown middle aged mares. Or they’d have dates at Sugarcube Corner, like Pinkie and Tempest before they became official, which holds even more meaning because Pinkie no longer lives there so it’s nostalgic for her. They would also love stargazing or watching fireworks (created by Tempest herself). Luna would love their nighttime dates the most, and she and Tempest would both find it adorable how enamored Pinkie gets with the colorful lights or how she always seems to find unexpected and unique constellations among the stars.

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brewed-pangolin · 6 days

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Pretty pretty please drop your thoughts and feelings on the ACOTAR books :) gonna need a play by play of your reactions as you read ❤️

I just started ACOWAR this morning, so I'll give a quick play by play on the first two.

The world and character building of this series is borderline addicting. It's not uncommon for me to read a lot, but I'm going at +250 pages a day. That's how obsessed I am with these books. I literally can't put them down.

I will keep the details vague so as not to spoil it for anyone who hasn't read it. But if you have, you'll know what my reactions mean. And I will only be reviewing characters, no plot. It's best to be discovered on your own.

By the end of ACOTAR, I loved Tamlin and hated Rhys for obvious reasons.

I like Feyre. I like her spirit, her tenacity, and the will to live. And to love (it's cliché I know), but it's integral to her character and becomes more prominent as she goes.

Lucien stole my heart the minute he opened his sassy little mouth. Still does, three books in. (Must protect golden eyed baby!)

Amarantha can eat shit and die.

So can the Attor.

Elaine and Nesta, I really didn't get a good feel for them until later. But I liked Nesta by the end of the book. She can see right through the bullshit, and I appreciate that.

My reaction after finishing the first book..

ACOTAR is a good starting point. But ACOMAF is where shit gets real good.

It's safe to say I am a full Night Court heathen, and I will stand by the High Lord of the Night with my dying breath. You gotta read it if you want to find out why.

I went back and forth between Rhys and Tamlin for nearly half the book. It wasn't until the cabin that I finally fell for Rhys completely.

And my God, the cabin. Whoa. That was nice. (And I cried like a baby, thank you very much)

Hate's a strong word. I would say I greatly loathe Tamlin. (man needs a redemption arch in the worst way)

My honest reaction when he shows back up...

Lucien still holds my heart. (Always will)

Feyre's arch is spellbinding. I love it. Including her shortcomings and faults.

Amren is a bad bitch. Two thumbs way up.

Mor is probably my favorite. Especially with her relationship with Feyre.

Elain is the embodiment of innocence. Nesta is hard and hates the world. I appreciate her character the most.

Azriel and Cassian? Yeah. I'm digging some bat boys. And their wings. I wanna touch 'em. (That little sensitivity detail is hot as fuck, btw. That's all I'll say.)

How ACOMAF ends...

I'm already 100 pages into ACOWAR, and I can't stop. I've yet to experience a series this enthralling. I appreciate SJM's character development and world building and already planning on moving to The Thrones of Glass series once I finish this.

I will most likely take a break and come back to write between then. But for now, my ass is going back Prythian.

Much love.

-💛

#acotar #my new favorite obsession #i will not spoil it for anyone #because its best experienced yourself

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sweetchcolate · 9 months

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I LOVE your posts about Sugar Apple Fairy Tale and just read your fanfic about Rafael visiting a pregnant Ann and loved it! I hope you write more fanfics on Sugar Apple Fairy Tale and can I request you write about Ann and Shall's wedding. IT WOULD FILL ME WISH SO MUCH JOY THAT YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE!

fandom: sugar apple fairy tale words: 5677 title: wedding prep shenanigans summary: A humorous glimpse into the weeks leading up to Anne and Shall’s wedding as their friends and guests show up one after the other.

also available on ao3!

A/N: Hiya, this ask is from late august/early september, so thank you for waiting all this time!

It's more on the funny/gen side since my last fic (spillover) was 100% pure fluff, but there was no way I could write about Anne and Shall's wedding without involving all the friends the two made over their adventures.

Thank you for waiting! I hope it was worth it!

As a heads-up, there are some spoilers for events in future LN volumes in Keith's section. It starts when he says "Ah, I was thinking out loud…" and ends when you read "It had been a worrisome whirlwind of drama and tragedy."

(And the changes of spelling between Cat and Kat are on purpose, depending on who talks to him. When it's Cat, it's because they're referencing the animal).

Despite the distance separating them, when Alph Hingley, Keith Powell, Hugh Mercury, Bridget Page, Elliot Collins, and the many other friends Anne and Shall made over the years received a notice for the wedding ceremony of a certain sugar master and an obsidian fairy, they all shared the same thought.

It’s about time.

Followed immediately by: wait, if I received an invitation, then who’s planning this?

Bridget, with her fiancé Orland and her ex-fiancé Elliot in tow, was the first one to arrive, of course. She greeted Anne with a warm hug, gave a solemn nod to Shall fen Shall and Mythril Lid Pod, and went straight to the crux of things.

“The wedding is only weeks away! Do you have everything planned?”

“Yes.

“Your dress?”

“Almost done. The seamstress wanted to see me one or two more times to make the final adjustments.”

“And Shall’s outfit?”

“All set!”

“What about the reception?”

“Right next to the church. The head priest and the mayor said they’d lend us tables and chairs so we could eat and party outside.”

“And how many people are you expecting? Do you have a guest list?”

Anne handed over the list, which Bridget briefly skimmed through. She nodded in satisfaction.

“Who’s in the charge of the catering? Oh, and what about the sugar confection? Did you order one? Who did you ask?”

“A-about that…”

“She was planning of making her own,” Shall said, his first intervention since Bridget started grilling Anne over the details. He hadn’t looked up once from whatever he was sewing, but it was obvious he’d kept up with the conversation. “She said she didn’t want to trouble anyone.”

“Shall!” Anne cried, betrayed.

Elliot frowned. He threw an arm around Anne’s shoulders, drawing her to him. He ruffled her hair.

“That won’t do, Anne. Do you know how many people would die to make your wedding sugar sculpture? Just think of it: Hingley, Powell, Mercury, Nadir, Valentine, King, Orland, Bridget—"

“Why did you cite me last, Elliot?”

“— and of course, saving the best for last: good old me. The silver sugar viscount and the best sugar masters of this generation at your beck and call. Soooo, who’s going to be the lucky sod?”

“Can’t I pick myself?”

“Ah ah,” Elliot tutted, wagging a finger. “No, no, no. Don’t you know it’s bad luck?”

“You guys should all make a sugar confection, and then we can choose a winner on the wedding day!” Mythril piped up.

“We? I wasn’t aware this was your wedding, Mythril Lid Pod,” Shall added.

“Ugh, you know what I meant!”

“Yes. You meant to stuff yourself full of silver sugar.”

“I’m going to gnaw on your wedding tunic.”

“No you won’t!” Bridget cut in. “Do you know how expensive those clothes are? Oh! I almost forgot! What about cosmetics? And your hair?”

Anne blanched, and that was an answer in and of itself.

“Anne, I can’t believe you! Come on, we’re going to Lewiston right now!”

“B-but the wedding isn’t for another mont—”

Shall, Mythril, Elliot, and Orland watched the blonde woman drag her friend. They were all quiet. Elliot made the prayer sign one would for the deceased.

Orland smacked him. To Shall, he said: “Aren’t you going to help Anne out? She’s your fiancée.”

“And she’s being dragged around by your fiancée,” Shall retorted. The implication was clear: if you’re not going to stop her, don’t expect me to.

“Hm.”

No one pointed out that the obsidian fairy, a one-man army of his own, could easily have prevented the women from leaving if he was so inclined. Keyword being ‘inclined”. No one could convince Shall (or Bridget for that matter) to do anything they didn’t want to unless you were called Anne Halford.

Mythril repeated the gesture Elliot made moments earlier.

“Yo.”

“Kat!”

Anne’s face positively lit up, shrieking when the older sugar master lifted her up in a bear hug. The gesture might be uncharacteristic coming from him, but hey, it wasn’t every day that his apprentice-figure was getting married. She deserved the rare show of affection.

“Hiya Anne,” Benjamin said once she was back on the ground. He was as cool and relaxed as ever. “Congratulations on the wedding~”

“Thank you, Benjamin! But it’s still two weeks away.”

“Oh good, we’re early~ The weather was just awful in Snowpoint, I thought we wouldn’t make it.”

“It smells good in here, small stuff,” Kat said. “What’s cooking?”

“An apple pie! I wanted to make a big one for the wedding, so Bridget and I are trying to figure out the right proportions. Want to be our taste-tester?”

“I won’t say no to free food.”

He followed Anne, finding Bridget, Orland, and Elliot huddled around a stove. Or rather, it was more accurate to say Elliot was huddled around the stove. Orland was holding the hearth door open while Bridget put a knife to a delicious-smelling pie. The air was filled with the scent of clove and cinnamon.

“Oooo, Hingley. That’s a nostalgic face if I’ve seen one.”

“Why am I not surprised to find you here, you freeloader.” Kat rolled his eyes. “Langston, Page. Congrats on your engagement again.”

“Thank you,” they answered in unison. Bridget added: “I think the pie is ready. Once it cools, we can eat.”

“Apple pie?” someone shouted from outside. “Wait for me! Don’t you dare eat without the great Mythril Lid Pod!”

It wasn’t long before Mythril showed up, perched on Shall’s shoulders. The two (or rather, the latter) had gone to chop some wood, the supply depleting faster with the addition of Bridget, Orland, and Elliot.

It was also a good way to keep the insatiable Mythril out of the way, lest he try to eat the apple pie dough raw.

“Oh, hi Kat! I thought I recognized your wagon outside! See, Shall fen Shall? I told you it was his!”

“Thank you for your wisdom,” Shall answered, more sarcasm than actual gratitude.

“Rude as ever, huh, Shall,” Kat said, leaning against the counter, arms crossed.

“Done hibernating, mister Cat? Glad you could make it to the wedding.”

“Hey, play nice.”

“No, no, let them, Anne.” Elliot snickered. “It’s free entertainment!”

“At least I’m doing something. You’re just lazing around, Collins.”

“Hey, hey. I’ll have you know I’m here on official Page workshop business.”

“Oh, really? And what is that?”

“We’ve got a wedding sugar confection for a very important client.”

“And where is that sugar confection? I only saw a regular carriage outside, not a crafter’s wagon.”

“Oh, that’s easy. It’s still in my head!”

“You lazy ass—”

While Elliot and Kat bickered, Anne scooted over to Shall, helping him put the wood away.

“It sure has gotten more lively,” she whispered.

“Has it? I tuned them all out since day one.”

Anne shoved him slightly, but the grin on her face betrayed her amusement. “Don’t tell Mythril Lid Pod, or we won’t hear the end of it.”

“Ha. I don’t think we’ll ever have trouble hearing him.”

She held her hands out to take another log. Shall took the opportunity to bring her hand to his mouth, using his body to hide the gesture from their friends. It wasn’t like he had trouble with displays of affections, but Anne and he could do without the teasing.

Especially Collins’s.

“Only two more weeks,” he murmured, voice pitched low, just enough to reach Anne’s ears. She felt every twist of his lips, every syllable pressed in her skin. In the low light, Shall’s eyes gleamed a beautiful dark amethyst.

She blushed, feeling warm, and squeezed his hand back with a shy smile.

“Hey, lovebirds! Get over here before the shrimp eats your share of the pie,” Elliot interrupted with his oh-so-great timing. True to his words, Mythril’s cheeks were full, resembling a squirrel.

Shall and Anne exchanged a look, sharing similar thoughts. Those would be the longest two weeks of their lives.

“I wasn’t expecting everyone to be here already… I’m a bit embarrassed.”

“You’re right on time actually, Keith! Bridget came in early because she wanted to help with the wedding prep, and Elliot and Orland tagged along. And Kat left Snowpoint ahead of time because he didn’t want to be stuck if the roads got snowed in.”

“Still, if I had known, I would have pushed for mister Radcliffe to let me out much earlier.” Keith pointed to the back of his wagon with a hopeful smile. “I hope my sculpture will make it up to you. It’s one of the pieces I’m most proud of!”

“I’m looking forward to it! What did you make?”

“That’s a secret. I can’t have you spoiling your own wedding gift.”

Anne pouted. “Everybody’s so cagey! First, it’s Bridget kicking me out of the venue, then Elliot telling me I can’t go home because he and Orland are making my wedding candy on behalf of the Page workshop.”

“What about Shall? And mister Hingley?”

“They’re checking with the innkeeper if we have enough rooms for all the guests.”

So far, all five artisans and three fairies had piled up in Anne’s and Shall’s home, with Anne and Shall sharing the master bedroom, Bridget in the guest room, Elliot and Orland in the other, and Kat and Mythril sleeping downstairs in the living room. However, after the reception, Anne and Shall would want for intimacy on their wedding night, and so their friends needed somewhere else where to sleep.

“The two of them? Will they be alright?” Keith asked, referencing to Kat’s short temper and Shall’s ability to get a rise out just about anyone with pinpoint precision. The two men got along like… well… cat and dog.

“Mythril Lid Pod’s with them, but if I had known everyone would give me the boot, I would have gone with them,” Anne sighed.

“In that case, do you know what to do when something’s bothering you?”

“Run and leave it all behind, right?”

Keith blinked, but a pleased smile appeared on his face. “I’m surprised you remember that. It’s been so long ago.”

“Of course! I was under a lot of stress back then, you know? Your words were a big help, they really cheered me up.”

“Just my words?” he teased.

“You know what I mean!”

He laughed. “I’m glad I could help.”

They lapsed into comfortable silence, watching the flowers sway in the slight spring breeze. All the snow had already melted, and the land was slowly regaining its colors, waking up from a long deep sleep.

“To think you’re getting married…” Keith murmured under his breath.

“Hm?”

“Ah, I was thinking out loud…” He sighed. There was something wistful, but also peaceful about his smile. “Talking about the past got me feeling nostalgic. To think that back then, our biggest worry was whether we’d make silver sugar master.”

True. A lot happened in just a few short years: Anne and Shall’s abduction by his brother Rafael fen Rafael, Shall taking his responsibilities as a potential fairy king and bargaining with the human king to slowly give fairies back their autonomy, Rafael fen Rafael’s return, and Anne and Shall almost dying at his hands and paying the price of surviving such an ordeal with their memories (Anne of her painstakingly hard-earned sugar crafting skills, Shall of his meeting with Anne and all those she brought to his life)…

It had been a worrisome whirlwind of drama and tragedy, but their happy ending was finally within reach.

And not just Anne’s and Shall’s… everyone’s: Bridget and Orland were engaged and most likely the next to get married; Elliot had assumed the reigns of the workshop, taking the strain off Glen’s shoulders; the Page workshop was flourishing ever since the Holy Beginnings exhibit; Kat and Keith kept up their work as sugar masters, refining their skills and gaining in recognition.

Everyone was moving forward towards a bright future.

But a part of Anne missed the old days, a time where life was much simpler.

“This might sound silly, but I hope we all stay in touch. I… I don’t want us to drift apart,” she said, fighting to get the words out of her tightening throat. She was suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of sadness and bittersweetness.

“Of course.” Keith patted her on the back, kind and comforting, and the gesture almost made Anne lose her composure. She sniffed the tears back. “We can meet up for the Royal Fair, for the Holy Beginnings, for Valentine’s day… Your birthday’s on the sixth month, right? So that will be our summer reunion.”

“If we only gathered for my birthday, that’d be unfair.”

“Alright, alright. Let’s come up with our own summer holiday, then. That way, no one’s jealous.”

Anne laughed, shaky. “As long as I don’t have to come up with the name.”

“You can design incredible sugar sculptures to wow royalty, but you’re stumped by names?”

“Hey! I’m a silver sugar master, not a name master!”

He laughed. Keith kept on patting her back until she felt better. She was truly lucky to have such an attentive and thoughtful person as a friend.

“Keith?”

“Hm?”

There was so much she wanted to thank him for, but she doubted she could ever convey the depths of her feelings, so Anne poured all her gratitude, her happiness, and her appreciation into two simple words: “Thank you.”

Keith wrapped his arm around her shoulders and squeezed. He whispered, barely a murmur on the wind, “Anytime.”

“Anne! Anne! Congratulations on the wedding!”

“Actually, it’s ‘congratulations on the engagement.’”

Noah ignored Valentine’s correction, clinging to Anne. “Can I see your dress?”

“Not today!” Anne laughed at the fairy’s pout. “Don’t worry, you’ll see it in two days.”

“But that’s too faaaaaaaar.”

“Noah.” It was Glen who spoke. The older man was on the edge of his seat, waiting for Anne and Noah to clear the way so he could get off the carriage. “If you’re that excited, why don’t you go check the church? That’s where the ceremony will be held.”

“Oh, in that case, could you tell Bridget, Orland, and Elliot that mister Glen is here?” Anne added.

“Will do!”

And just as quickly as he had latched onto Anne, Noah was off. Nadir and Valentine sputtered, giving Anne their regards before running after the fairy. Noah might be older than them both, but he was as innocent and carefree as a child.

“Mister Glen. You seem to be doing well.”

“I am. I feel much better these days.” Glen stood and Anne hovered nearby just in case, but the older man managed to make his way out of the carriage on his own. He regarded her warmly. “I believe you’ve grown. I don’t remember you being this tall.”

“I think you shrank, mister Glen,” King said. He waved at Anne. “Yo, thanks for the invitation. And congrats!”

“Thank you! I’m glad you could make it!”

“Of course. You’re one of us, even if you don’t work for the workshop officially anymore,” Glen said. “If you had told us earlier, we could have organized you a grand wedding. But what’s done is done. Are you all set?”

“Yes! Bridget was a big help. I thought I had everything handled, but there was so much more left than I expected!”

“The missy planned her own wedding months ahead. She knows her stuff.”

“Before I forget. Here.” Glen handed Anne a leather pouch, heavy and thick. There was a tinkling sound when he moved it, almost like that of coins. “For you.”

“Wait, why are you giving this to me? Are you not staying?”

“Don’t look so alarmed. I wouldn’t miss your wedding like I wouldn’t miss my daughter’s. This is a long overdue payment.”

“For what?”

“For your time as our head artisan.”

Anne blinked. She had assumed that role years ago, her goal to retrieve Shall’s wing, then to fulfill her promise to revive the Page workshop. It had never been about money.

“Mister Glen, I can’t—”

“Can’t accept it? It’s rude to refuse a gift, you know?”

“Just take it, or he’ll just ask Noah to hide it so you can’t return it to us,” King said.

Anne sighed. All her friends said she was stubborn and impossible to sway once her mind was set, but they were as equally headstrong when they wanted to be.

“Thank you, mister Glen. I appreciate it.”

“Treat yourself, Anne.” He patted her shoulder. “It’s good manners to make use of the gifts you’re given. It shows your appreciation more than saying thanks ever will.”

She was working on that, on relying on her friends, on accepting their goodwill and affection (whether through money, gifts, food or kind words) without falling back on old habits of doing everything on her own.

“Then I’ll buy myself some strawberry cakes. I’ve been craving those for a while.”

“That’s the spirit,” he laughed.

Anne flopped around like a fish out of water, sleep eluding her. Shall sat up from the bedding they’d laid on the ground, next to the bed — he would have been more than happy sleeping with Anne, but she’d claimed it improper before the ceremony. His guess was that she was still shy with anything beyond hugs and kisses, but also didn’t want to risk Mythril finding them twined together which… fair enough — and leaned in, cheek against his palm.

“What’s wrong?”

“I can’t sleep.”

“I can see that. Too excited for tomorrow?”

“I… I kind of don’t want tomorrow to come.” Anne gasped and put her hands to her mouth, as if she realized how her words could be interpreted only after the fact. “Ah, no! I didn’t mean it like that! I…"

He let her talk. With her tendency to ramble, her true feelings would come spilling out sooner and later. And his patience was rewarded.

“I’m so happy, you know? The past few weeks were so fun, with everyone coming and staying over. I didn’t realize how long it’s been since we were all together. But once the wedding’s over, everyone will leave… we’ll all go back to living our own lives…” She sniffed, voice shaking. “I know it’s silly, but I miss everyone. I miss them even though they haven’t left.”

Shall was reminded of Hugh’s words, many years ago — words he knew true, but words he’d never forgiven the man for since they meant to separate him from Anne. “Humans get used to comfort so quickly, they forget how to go back to their old lives.”

They seemed to sum Anne’s feelings perfectly.

“The Page headquarters are a day of travel away from here, and Lewiston less than half a day. Cat also gave you his shop, but you know him. He’ll show up to check on you once in a while,” he told her, cupping her face. This caused Anne’s unshed tears to bead at the corners of her eyes, and he wiped them away with his thumb. “Those you love and who love you will always be close to you, no matter the distance. But if the feeling gets too unbearable and you want to see them again, then let’s hit the road together.”

Anne’s smile was wobbly, but it was a start. He opened his arms, and she gladly went for a hug, burying her face against his chest as her shoulders shook quietly. He patted her hair, and she relaxed in his embrace after a while. She smelled nice and she was soft to hold.

“Thank you. I feel much better.”

“You should go to sleep. You have a long day tomorrow.”

“Oh, and you don’t?”

“I don’t need as much sleep as you.”

“I know. It’s so unfair. Do you know how much more work I could get done otherwise?”

“You’d just throw yourself at silver sugar until you passed out from exhaustion. Which you have before.”

“What if it’s just an excuse so you’ll carry me to bed?”

Such underhanded schemes weren’t like Anne, but he humored her just the same. “Just ask me then. No need to go to such extremes.”

“Hey, you guys still awake? Is this a bad time?”

At Mythril’s voice, Anne scooted out of Shall’s laps, putting a respectable distance between them. She ignored the disgruntled expression on his face. “No, we were just talking. Did we wake you?”

“Nah, I wanted to check the moon. It’s overhead, which means it’s now officially your wedding day!” He sauntered over to them and held out two small boxes. “And I wanted to be the first one to give you your gifts!”

Shall and Anne shared a look before taking the gifts. Shall’s was a pendant in the shape a golden full moon, the metal so polished it reflected his face. He glanced over to Anne. She had received the same thing.

“They’re matching necklaces!” Mythril exclaimed, taking his own out. “When we’re apart and you get lonely, just look at it and remember we’re all under the same sky, watching the same moon.”

Huh. Did he listen in on them or was it just an incredible coincidence? Then again, it was possible Mythril had picked up Anne’s underlying fears over the past weeks — he could be surprisingly perceptive.

Anne, whose emotions were already running high, was once again on the verge of tears, but she looked touched, rather than sad.

“Oh, Mythril…”

“H-hey, are you crying? Why are you crying? Do you hate it that much? Don’t cry, Anne, I’ll get you something else! S-shall fen Shall, help! Do something!”

“They’re tears of happiness, dummy.”

“Huh? Don’t be stupid, how can you cry from being happy?”

Anne shook her head with a small laugh, scooping the tiny fairy and bringing him close to her chest. She cupped one hand around his body and gently laid her cheek on the top of his head in the best approximation of a hug she could manage considering their size difference.

“Thank you so much, Mythril Lid Pod. I love it,” she whispered, overflowing with gratefulness.

He clutched at her front, cheeks pink and eyes downcast in embarrassment. “...you’re welcome.”

Anne set him down, wiping her eyes, and stood. “I just keep crying lately. I’m going to freshen up. I’ll be right back.”

Shall nodded. Mythril sat down on Shall’s pillow, playing with his necklace. It was quiet, if not for the occasional sniff coming from the small fairy. Shall didn’t comment on it.

“Hey, Shall fen Shall?” Mythril said after a while.

“Hm?”

Another sniff, longer. “I think I get it. Happy tears.”

Shall snorted softly.

“Hey, Shall fen Shall?”

“What?”

“Can I sleep on your pillow tonight?”

Looked like Anne wasn’t the only one hit with a bout of nostalgia and dreading separation.

It had been a while since they all slept in the same room. It was a necessity at first, born from the fact Anne barely had enough money to afford even a single room in inns. Even after she’d won the thousand cress prize in Philax, she kept her frugal ways.

It was only after the second royal fair, once Anne made sugar master and established her reputation, earning herself a commendable wage, that they started to rent extra beds or, on rare occasions, extra rooms.

And then everything went down the drain when Rafael fen Rafael returned, upheaving their normalcy. Once things had settled down, their new normal was for Mythril to sleep on his own while Shall kept watch over Anne, sitting in a chair or lying in nearby bedding.

This would be the first (and probably the last) time in months they would share a room.

“Fine.”

“Please, please, please! I promise I won’t make a peep! I’ll even— what did you say?”

Shall laid down, covering himself with his blanket. “Go to sleep, Mythril Lid Pod. It’s late.”

When Anne came back, she found Shall and Mythril lying side by side. The smaller fairy was sprawled out like a star, his eyes closed. Not wanting to be left out, she slipped in with them. Shall scooted backwards to give her more space.

“Good night, you two,” Anne said.

“G’night Anne… Shall fen Shhhh…”

It wasn’t long before the two were asleep. Shall adjusted the covers over them and watched over the two people most precious to him.

“Don’t!”

“You can’t!”

“Someone, stop him!”

“Easy for you to say!”

“What’s all this ruckus about?” Bridget asked, pulling away from where she was putting the final touches on Anne’s make-up. She frowned at the muffled screaming. The door to the dressing room shook and rattled, as if someone was leaning against it.

“Bridget, you gotta help us!” Elliot shouted from behind. “Lock the door!”

“What’s going on, Elliot?”

“Move aside,” Shall said. His voice might be muffled, but his annoyance was clear.

“I told you man; it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony!”

“That’s ridiculous. I should be able to see my wife whenever I want.”

“You’re not married yet, you dumbass. Show some patience.” It was Kat.

“Actually, they are. They signed the paperwork months ago.”

Mythril gasped, as if realizing he had let slip something he shouldn’t have.

Too late. It was like someone had sucked all the sound out. You could hear people’s breathing with how quiet it was.

“What?” pretty much everyone shouted in unison. Bridget turned to Anne, gaping, whereas Noah tilted his head in confusion, not understanding the fuss.

Anne would have buried her face in her hands if she didn’t risk ruining her make-up. Of course this would get brought up right before the ceremony and in front of all of their friends. Gathering the poofy skirt of her wedding dress, she made her way out of the dressing room, intent to explain the situation.

Instantly, six pairs of hands blocked Shall’s line of sight. The fairy huffed.

“When Shall and I looked for someone who could officiate our marriage, most of the priests we asked refused to.” Many of them had squirmed at the idea of a human and a fairy marrying, the result of decades, if not centuries, of subconsciously ingrained bias. “I told Hugh about this, and he said that as silver sugar viscount, he was authorized to oversee our marriage. So we signed the paperwork with him and Mythril as our witnesses.”

The silent was thick and heavy, everyone processing the information. It was Elliot who broke down first, bursting with laughter.

“That’s— that’s—” He could barely speak with how hard he was laughing. “Oh man, and you guys call me a schemer.”

“It wasn’t like we were trying to hide it!” Anne retorted, cheeks puffing. “It was just a formality.”

“Only you would call being married on paper ‘a formality.’”

“Because it is!”

“Sorry to break it you, kiddo, but that paperwork is as binding as any vow. As far as the kingdom’s concerned, you’ve been husband and wife for months now,” Hugh added with a smirk. He looked all too pleased and amused at Anne’s embarrassment. “Though I suppose if you asked Shall, he’d say it’s been even longer.”

The fairy crossed his arms, but didn’t deny Hugh’s claims. Anne was glad for the heavy layers on her face because she was sure her blush would have been as bright as the sun. She certainly felt as warm.

“You look very pretty, Anne,” Keith said, changing the subject. It triggered a flood of compliments from the other guests, their kind words overlapping.

“Yeah, you look great!”

“Beautiful.”

“Hey, where’s your veil?”

“I got it!”

“You’re all doing this on purpose,” Shall grumbled. He could easily have plowed through the crowd to check on Anne or moved aside the hands blocking his vision, but he had grown tolerant of his friends’ shenanigans.

Anne was filled with a surge of appreciation for her fiancé. He had come so far compared to when they first met.

“If you’re all ready, how about we proceed with the ceremony?” Glen said.

“Go on ahead, everyone. There’s something I want to say to Shall.”

Her friends looked at Anne, then back at Shall, uncertain.

“Shall, are your eyes closed?”

“They are.”

“There you have it. I promise I’ll be quick.”

Satisfied, they all filed down the hallway, headed for the altar, leaving Anne alone with Shall.

Given the opportunity, she took in her fiancé’s (husband’s) appearance. He had always been a beautiful man, with fair smooth skin, glossy dark hair, high cheekbones, and a sharp jaw. His striking features made people’s heads turn.

Some might find his wedding outfit simple — a long dark tunic over breeches, with jewel-patterned embroidery lining his shoulders, his sleeves, and his lapels — but in Anne’s opinion, it only made him more handsome, if that was even possible.

“So you’re allowed to stare all you want, but I can’t look at you?”

“Just a little longer. Once the ceremony starts, you can look.”

Anne grabbed and squeezed his hands, a small compensation for all his patience. His hands slowly traveled up her arms, her shoulders, and curled around her jaw, as if trying to perceive her through touch since his eyes weren’t allowed. Anne felt goosebumps at the feel of Shall’s strong and slender fingers on her bare skin.

“You better not shy away,” he breathed.

“I-I won’t.” Anne felt tongue-tied by their proximity. She felt like she was getting sucked in, but she resisted the urge to move in for a kiss — she wasn’t sure she’d find the strength of will to pull away. “Sorry about earlier. I forgot to tell you about that little tradition.”

“It’s fine. I waited years, I can wait a few more minutes.”

She smiled, even if he couldn’t see it. “Then let’s not waste any more time. I’ll be going first.”

She turned around, but was stopped in her tracks as arms wrapped around her waist, firm and unyielding. There was a puff of hot air on the back of her neck, and Anne’s whole body tensed when she felt a pair of lips on her skin. She squeaked as they moved up to behind her ear. Her legs trembled and her heart was pounding in her temples.

“S-Shall…”

“Tradition says I can’t look, not that I can’t touch or taste.”

Anne’s mouth was dry. She was frozen in surprise and excitement, but just as quickly as he had embraced her, Shall let her go. There was a satisfied and smug look on his face, even with his eyes closed.

“See you soon, my future wife.”

She didn’t need to be told twice, and basically sprinted out of there before Shall got more handsy and frayed her nerves. She met with Glen right outside the doors leading to the altar. He had offered to give her away, as she didn’t have any blood family, and Anne couldn’t think of anyone better suited for the role than a father himself.

“All set?”

She took a deep breath. Her heart was doing flip-flops in her chest and her hands were faintly shaking as she linked arms with Glen. “All set.”

He smiled at her, calm and reassuring. All their friends were seated and chatting with one another, but the second she stepped in, they turned to look at her. Elliot, Nadir and King hooted, Kat, Keith, and Valentine waved, Orland nodded and Bridget smiled at her, and Mythril jumped up and down in joy.

Anne waved as she passed each row of guests. She deliberately avoided looking at Shall, waiting for her at the altar. She knew whatever expression he made would make her weak in the knees.

Glen led her down the aisle, and she swapped his arm for Shall’s. She kept looking at her feet. It would be embarrassing to stumble and fall at this point.

Finally, once they stood in front of Hugh, their officiant, she allowed herself a glance at her fiancé (and on paper husband), immediately regretting and glad for her earlier choice.

She had been right. Shall was looking at her like she was the sun and he a sunflower. His eyes were intense, half-lidded and heady, and his strong features showed a fierce warmth and passion. She felt both like running away and wanting to stay in place to bask in such a rare expression.

“Alright everyone, I’ll be officiating this ceremony. I won’t bore you with a long speech,” Hugh said. The attendees got quiet, expectant. “Anne Halford, will you take Shall fen Shall for a husband?”

“I do.”

“Shall fen Shall, will you take Anne Halford for a wife? Will you love her from now on for better or for worse? In sickness and in health? In silver sugar obsession and in creative drought? In—”

Everyone snickered and even Anne giggled quietly. It was obvious Hugh was doing this to aggravate Shall, who bore the unnecessarily prolonged vows with admirable patience. Anne could tell when he tuned Hugh out, because he rolled his eyes and decided to look at her instead. They shared a smile, expressions soft with love, as they waited for Hugh’s speech to end.

“I do.”

“Good. Any objections from the guests?”

“None! You know there’s none!” Mythril yelled. “Hurry it up!”

“Then by the powers conferred to me as silver sugar viscount, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss—”

Shall didn’t need to be told twice nor was he going to wait a second longer. In one swift move, he’d lifted Anne’s veil and leaned in to kiss his proper wife.

“—the bride. You know, it’s rude to interrupt people when they’re talking.”

Cheers and shouts and clapping and confetti and flower petals burst all around them, swallowing Hugh’s friendly teasing. Not that Anne and Shall paid any mind to anything that wasn’t their spouse. They pulled back from their kiss, grinning, forehead and nose touching. Their happiness was obvious.

And just as all those weeks ago when they received the invitation, everyone shared the same thought.

It’s about time.

#sugar apple fairy tale #my fanfiction #shallanne #happy early new year and belated s.hall bday gift!#sweetchcolate's nonsense of the day #fanfiction

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