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wonderlustlucas · 4 years ago

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jack pot ; part 3 - hwang hyunjin

⇢ prompt You know it’s bad when you’re high as a kite and he’s still on your mind. ⇢ pairing hwang hyunjin x female reader ⇢ word count 6.4k ⇢ genre fluff & angst (not heavy, just in a slow burn kind of way) ⇢ warnings (18+) drug use, a suggestive make out & the mention of a boner twice maybe ⇢ summary College is a matter of working hard and playing hard. It’s an opportunity to start fresh, to grow as an individual and to blossom with those you befriend. People come and people go, leaving their mark on your life and showing you all the parts of becoming an adult. Some, however, do more than leave their mark. Some take just as much as they give. Things become complicated once they take the entirety of your love because you outright offered it to them.—college!au ; stoner!au ; friends to lovers!au ⇢ a/n AAAAAAAA omg im so excited to post this, this by far is my fav part of jack pot & i cant wait to hear what u all think!!! sorry its a bit shorter than the other parts, & technically this is the *last* part, but there will be an epilogue where you will see how everything comes to be!!!! have fun reading!!! <3

⇠ part 2

five.

“Oh, fuck, he’s good,” Yeji gasps, shoving her phone into Maddie’s hands before faceplanting into the table.

“Are you H-T-T-P because I’m colon-slash-slash without you,” Maddie reads with a chuckle, thumbs hesitating over the keyboard. “Quick, YN, look up some pick-up lines.”

Closing the tab on the article you should be reading but has been long forgotten, you promptly do as you are told and open the first link from your search, Minho and Jisung leaning in to help. “There,” Jisung stops you, pointing to one, “’Are you a parking ticket? Because you have fine written all over you.’”

The table can’t help but burst into laughter at such a sentence. It’s stupid, but ever since Yeji and Kim Sunwoo began texting, their conversations have been full of tacky puns and emoji-filled compliments.

“Damn,” Maddie whistles, setting the phone back into Yeji’s limp hand, “he’s already typing back.”

“Gross,” Ryujin teases, busy typing away on her laptop. How she manages to multitask so well is a skill you certainly lack. “Why don’t you just like, I don’t know, ask him out?” Jisung asks and when you glance up, he’s looking at you. “Because that’s the guy’s job,” Maddie quickly saves the day, winking to you when you send her a grateful smile.

“Bullshit,” Jeongin scoffs. Everyone, even Ryujin, stops to look at him.

Did he just curse?

“I mean, like,” he stammers, cheeks turning rosy at all the attention, “it’s 2020. Guys have insecurities, too.”

“I agree,” Minho hums, looking to Maddie with hearts in his eyes, “that kind of confidence is enough to make any boy fall in love.”

“Yeah, but—”

Lia rebuts, but your attention quickly falls elsewhere when a text message first appears on your laptop, then your phone.

hwang hyunjin🦔🕺🏻💞🧻 [now] Where r u rn?

Unable to fight your smile, you quickly type back.

[3:39 PM] YN: outside hollin st café [3:39 PM] YN: why? :)

“Have you seen their new house, YN?” Minho asks, prompting you to click your phone off and set it back on the table. “Whose house?”

“Changbin’s parents.”

“Oh,” shaking your head, you distantly curse Chan for keeping your friend busy today. Unlike Jisung, Changbin likes to write lyrics and do whatever other music stuff during the day at a normal time instead of the middle of the fucking night while stoned and trying to finish his computer science assignments at the same time. “No, he forgot to send me pictures.”

“Dude,” Jisung sighs dreamily, “it’s huge. So nice. I think the front door alone could cover tuition.”

“Is it really that nice?” Maddie asks in awe.

“He started to show me pics the other day but couldn’t finish but the kitchen… unnecessary,” Ryujin quips, pausing her work to check her phone. “Yeah, it’s insane. The whole place is unnecessary but the kitchen is like, a house in itself,” Jeongin hums, head shaking in disbelief.

“Damn, now I really want to see it,” you sigh, making a mental note to hunt Changbin down so he can show you. “It’s like Hyunjin and his rings,” Minho snickers, “he has so many. Whenever we’re out, if he sees a ring, boom. It’s his.”

Well, he’s not wrong but… You bite your tongue no matter how badly you wish to defend Hyunjin and his affinity for rings and jewelry in general. The boy has taste, what can you say? You certainly are not complaining about Hyunjin’s long fingers and the way he chooses to decorate them.

“I never thought I’d hear Changbin’s parent’s kitchen be analogous to Hyunjin’s jewelry collection, yet here we are,” Maddie chuckles, leaning over Yeji to peek at her conversation with Sunwoo.

“Wow, speak of the devil,” Jisung pipes up of course as soon as you have reopened the tab to your assignment. Changbin or Hyunjin, you don’t know, head whipping up to find out and a peculiar mix of relief and panic settling over you once you spot the latter. “Uh oh, YN’s gonna go into cardiac arrest.”

As subtly as you can, you elbow Jisung in the stomach and smile at Hyunjin as he nears. “Hey,” keeping his eyes on you, Hyunjin approaches your table and stops behind Maddie opposite from you, “I’m sorry, I should have asked if you were busy.” His cheeks, already flushed, burn pinker once he looks away to smile weakly at everyone else.

“I’m not busy!” You squeak, scrambling to close your laptop and shove it in your bag. “Are you sure? I can come back later?” He offers, tilting his head and this is when you realize he is holding a bubble tea in each hand. And from the looks of it, one seems to be your usual order. “No, she’s not,” Jeongin answers for you, recognizing your stupefied expression.

“I was just – yeah. No,” rushing to stand and swing your legs out around the bench, you nearly fall flat on your face, “I wasn’t doing anything, actually.” Steadying yourself with a hand on Minho’s shoulder, you heave a labored breath before carefully walking to meet Hyunjin.

“Okay,” he beams, either oblivious to how flustered you are or simply choosing to ignore it. Turning to wave to your friends, he hands you one of the cups and you realize it is, in fact, your favorite boba. Oh boy. “See ya later,” you wave to them as well, nose wrinkling when both Jisung and Maddie wink in return.

Following after Hyunjin, you finally allow yourself to take notice of his attire and can’t help but feel confused. He looks good. And not in the good attractive way—he always looks good. But good as in formal. It’s four o’clock on a Tuesday in October and he’s out here looking as if he just got out of a business meeting. White button-down tucked into fitted black slacks, dress shoes, black tie, and he even has a black suit jacket draped over his arm. His hair is styled, too; ever since he dyed it back to black, he’s been growing it out long enough for his bangs to cover his eyes. Now, however, it’s parted down the middle and seems as if he’s ever so slightly curled it away from his face.

Suddenly, you feel ridiculous walking beside him in mom jeans and a baggy sweatshirt from high school.

“Thanks for the boba,” you mumble around your straw, brain still preoccupied trying to get over how utterly handsome he is. “Why do you look so fancy?”

The side of his mouth twitches up at your words, but his eyes stay glued to the sidewalk as you continue to your unknown destination. “I had an audition,” Hyunjin admits, voice devoid of emotion as if it’s not important at all. “An audition?” You echo. “Why do you sound so not super mega excited? How did it go? What was it for?”

“Well—”

“Wait!” You interrupt, stopping your walk once you realize he had an audition and you didn’t know. “You had an audition? What – why didn’t you tell me?”

Hyunjin frowns, avoiding your gaze and dragging his bottom teeth over his top lip. “I didn’t tell anyone,” he finally says before reaching for your hand and tugging you away from the walkway and into your campus’ main courtyard. “Why? Is it some sort of secret or something, Hyunjin?” You scoff, sounding way more annoyed than you intended. But you are annoyed; why didn’t he want to tell anyone?

“No,” he sighs, finding an empty area in the grass and lowering himself to sit, “I just… didn’t want anyone to know. Didn’t want to make it a big deal.”

“Hyunjin,” you sigh, visibly softening for him and settling down next to him, crisscrossing your legs, “it is a big deal. I don’t know what it’s for, but if it’s important enough for you to audition, then it’s important to us, too. You don’t need to be humble twenty-four-seven, you know. I’m sure you could have used our support.”

“I didn’t get it, though,” Hyunjin whispers, “they just – I didn’t get in. I wasn’t good enough.” Sensing the sadness in his voice, you find a lump forming in your throat when you notice the way his bottom lip trembles. “Hey,” panicking, you set your boba down and sit up on your knees to wrap your arms around him, cradling his head into your chest once tears start falling, “no. Don’t ever say you’re not good enough, Hyunjin.”

“But if I did better, practiced more, than I would—"

“Stop,” you hush, combing your fingers through his hair and brushing strands away from his eyes, “I’ve never met someone who works as hard as you do. You can’t beat yourself up over this. Everything happens for a reason. You don’t know what could have happened if you got in. You could have hurt yourself eventually, or maybe met someone who’s a real asshole.”

“Yeah,” is all he says, quiet and muffled when he turns to press his forehead into your sternum, body still trembling as he lets out all his tears. You stay like that for a while, holding him against you and soothing a hand up and down his back until his sniffling falls quiet. “Listen,” you finally sigh, grabbing him by the shoulders and pulling him back. Your heart sinks once you take in the wet trails down his cheeks and the puffiness of his eyes. “Forget about it. Was it something for dance?”

When he nods subtly, you cup his face in your hands and swipe his cheeks with your thumbs. “You are an amazing dancer, Hyunjin. You can’t let this get to your head. And I don’t want you working your ass off more than you do already. Practice makes perfect, sure, but you need to rest. What about the idea Changbin came up with?”

“The YouTube thing?”

“Yes! Filming dance tutorials or just posting your routines is a really good idea,” you remind him, wiping your hands on your jeans once he falls back onto the grass with a gentle thud, hair flaying around him like a halo. Your limbs twitch with the urge to lie beside him, maybe throw an arm around him and rest your cheek on his chest, fingers tracing the soft features of his face, stroking through his hair and reminding him just how innately perfect he is, inside and out. You, of course, resist such a temptation, flopping down beside him and staring up at the clouds with a heavy heart.

“I could do that. Maybe,” Hyunjin huffs. Tilting your head to look at him, you find yourself knee-deep in that familiar longing feeling, pausing simply to appreciate how pretty he is in the evening sun, cheeks rosy from crying and hair begging to be touched. Shaking your head to rid such daydreams, you remind yourself how fragile his emotions are right now. Now is no time to get caught up on a fantasy. Reaching for your tea, you lean up on an elbow and redirect your gaze to the trees, the promise of winter having turned what was green burnt sienna and butterscotch, leaving trees barren and branches swaying gently in the crisp breeze that leaves you curling into yourself. “You should,” you hum, distant, mind clawing to come up with the words you want to say.

“Come here,” Hyunjin says now, voice stronger than before and when his hand wraps gently around your wrist, you can’t find it in yourself to resist. Allowing him to pull you back down beside him, you curl into his side, resting your head a safe distance away from his own and onto the curve of his arm. “Thank you for being so good to me,” he expresses. You squeeze your eyes shut when the arm you lie on wraps around your shoulders and pulls you substantially closer. “I need to tell you something.”

A long stretch of silence falls upon you and for a moment, you are unsure the words even left your mouth. What are you thinking?

“Wait! I have something first,” Hyunjin sighs, missing the way your breath hitches. “Okay,” you whisper, fiddling with one of the buttons on his shirt and focusing all your attention there.

“I just – I think… I owe you an apology,” he finally says, “I need to apologize for something that I did a while ago that I know probably hurt.” Your chest tightens. There’s a lot that has hurt you when it comes to Hyunjin, but none that he’s done purposely. None that are his fault. None that he should be apologizing for.

“I feel like we came to some mutual understanding to not mention what happened when we were freshmen, but it kills me to know that – that something happened, and we never talked about it,” Hyunjin starts, grip tightening on your shoulder and suddenly, you think you are dreaming. This cannot possibly be real. “I know it was awkward but, I also know me and Yiren dating was… ah. I don’t know.”

When he falls silent, you are unsure of what to say or do. You have no idea what the end goal of this conversation is. Hardly a minute ago, your heart and your brain decided it was time to tell him. Now, you’re not so sure you can do that until he finishes, and you are not about to give him your two cents if his reasoning for bringing it up is not the same as yours.

“I just want to apologize for not being brave enough to talk to you about it. I know I was confused, but I’m sure it was worse for you when they told you about her,” Hyunjin continues, sensing your rendered silence, “and it’s been so long since that happened, and now, you’re one of my closest friends.” Ouch.

“But I’ve been thinking,” when he picks up again, your eyes fly open in a panic. He’s been thinking. Hyunjinhas been thinking. You think you are going to pass out. “And I just feel like we… me and you, I mean—"

The standard iPhone alarm blares from beside you, promptly cutting him off and you think it is the biggest cockblock known to man. “Shit,” he hisses, leaning up to tug his phone from his pocket and in the process nudging you from your comfortable position. Sitting back up, nerves aflame and heart racing, your brows shoot up in confusion when all he does is stare at the number calling him. “What are you doing?”

“It’s the studio I was just at,” he scoffs in disbelief, barely glancing at you before looking back to his phone. You have never wanted to shrivel up and die as much as you want to right now. “Well? Aren’t you going to answer?”

Hyunjin makes a noise of acknowledgement before tapping the green icon and bringing the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

Sitting quietly beside him, you watch with a forced smile as his hummed responses and subtle nods morph into enthusiastic laughs and wide, beaming smiles. Hyunjin notices your confusion when you tilt your head, mouthing a ‘What?’ to him.

“They made a mistake,” he whispers, covering the speaker of his phone, “read off the wrong Hwang. I’m in.” When he grins excitedly at you, your response isn’t as cheerful as it could be. As it should be. “Yay!” You whisper, clapping gently but quickly turning to your boba when the other line begins speaking again. Looking away, you take a hefty sip, nearly choke on a tapioca ball, and build the walls around your heart up all over again in a matter of seconds.

“I’ve gotta go,” whispering, you manage one more pained smile before getting to your feet and wiping your butt of any possible grass stains, “good luck!” When he shines you one more breathtaking smile and waves excitedly, you hastily head in the other direction, wrapping your arms around yourself and swallowing past the lump that threatens to form the farther you walk.

It must be nice, you think, frantically wiping at your waterline. Must be nice to put yourself out there and have things work out the way you want them to. Must be nice being told you’re ‘in,’ you’re wanted, you’re desired.

It must be nice.

six.

Pick up food, you said. Ask Jisung, you said.

Your conscience is a big fat oompa loompa ass bitch. You would have never called Jisung to ask him if he wanted anything from Taco Bell if you knew he was with Changbin. And not just Changbin, you realized four minutes into your call; Seungmin and Hyunjin, too. Apparently he went over their place to record, or something, and didn’t care to let you know. Not that you’re his mom and he has too—but it would have been nice, and would have saved you from spending almost fifty dollars at Taco Bell.

“I tried calling Jisung but he didn’t answer,” you snap once Seungmin answers your call with a muffled hello. “Can one of you please come out and help me carry this in?” You glance at the five large sodas and two bags full of food in your passenger seat with a grimace. “Sure,” he agrees and you make a mental note for the umpteenth time just how much you love Seungmin, “I’ll be out in a sec.”

True to his word, you spot him making his way out of their apartment and across the small courtyard to meet you by your car not even a minute later, hauling each bag under his arms. “Thank you,” left only with the cupholder, you hurriedly lock your car and follow after him. “No problem. Thanks for being our Uber Eats,” then, pursing his lips, “how much was this?”

“Forty-seven something,” you grumble unhappily, knowing this was a big hit to your debit. “We’ll pay you back, don’t worry,” Seungmin smiles, leading you up the final flight of stairs and kicking open the ajar door.

Immediately, you’re hit with the smell.

“Dear, fucking hell,” making a face, you rub your nose to keep from sneezing, “it reeks in here. How have you guys not been kicked out yet?”

The stench of weed generally does not bother you anymore, but still—they could light a candle, or something. Seungmin shrugs, setting the bags down on the kitchen counter. “Luck, I guess.”

“IS THAT YN?” From another room, you hear Changbin shout, followed by an excited shriek from Jisung. “They’re high. Very high. You’ve been warned,” Seungmin whispers just as tweedle dee and tweedle dum themselves come flying around the corner. “YN!” Jisung grins, engulfing you in a dramatic hug. “Watch,” you hiss, regarding the blunt held between his fingers that comes dangerously close to your hair.

“Sorry,” he smiles, then, without warning, sticks the thing right between your lips. “I didn’t even offer.” Well, when life gives you lemons…

You hesitantly take the hit and blow the smoke away from him. You weren’t planning on getting high today, but here you are. “Thanks,” shaking your head as if that will clear it, you turn to Changbin and snugly wrap your arms around him. Every day you thank the heavens that he is a chill, calm high, unlike your maniac of a roommate.

“Thanks for the food,” fishing into his pockets and pulling out a crumpled ten-dollar bill, he slaps it into your palm. You only hum in reply, shoving it into your own pocket and praying you don’t lose it before you remember to put it in your wallet. “Where’s Hyunjin?” You ask, no longer caring about being slick.

“In his room,” Seungmin answers, rummaging through the bags to find what he ordered. Then, “HYUNJIN!” You jump, reaching for your soda and standing away from the other three until they have claimed whatever belongs to them. No sooner than Seungmin calls for him, you hear a door being cracked open and out comes Hyunjin.

He looks extremely disheveled. Like, just woke up from a two-month hibernation, disheveled. In the blink of an eye, however, he rakes a hand through long blonde hair and promptly sets a baseball cap backwards to keep the strands away and suddenly, he doesn’t look so disheveled anymore. You force yourself to look away, cursing the way your gut twists.

“Gimme my crunchwrap,” you say around your straw, snatching the blunt from Jisung’s fingers and moving around him to fetch your dinner. He doesn’t even protest.

He knows you need it more than he does.

“That’s a lot of food,” Hyunjin says once he has finally entered the kitchen, voice groggy and eyes puffy from sleep. Or from being high, you can’t tell. Pressing his chest to your back, he wraps one arm around you to keep you against him while the other reaches into a bag to take what’s his. Swallowing past the desert dryness of your throat, you manage a thick inhale from the blunt before tilting your head to look at him and mentally thanking the other three for taking it as their cue to head out.

“Not my fault you guys eat like animals,” you chuckle shakily, trying to ignore the firmness of his body against yours, veins prominent on the arm that holds you against him and the ripple of muscle along his abdomen noticeable even through his shirt and yours. Dear god, it is too early for this. Not even seven o’clock and you are already drooling in more places than one.

Hyunjin pouts as if it is not true. “How much do I owe you?” He asks, finally moving away to grab his drink and you can’t help your disappointment, quickly finishing the blunt before tapping it out into one of the many ashtrays. “Don’t worry about it,” you wave off, digging through their drawers for a paper plate.

“YN,” Hyunjin deadpans, regarding you with a raised brow once you come up and begin unwrapping your food. You refuse to look him in the eye. “What do I owe you?” He repeats, firmer this time and it sends a chill down your spine when it most certainly should not. Sighing, you retrieve the receipt from your pocket and count everything he got. “Thirteen.”

Humming in content, Hyunjin reaches for his wallet on the counter and pulls a ten and five out. “There,” he beams, tucking the bills into your pocket himself. Rolling your eyes, you pray he does not notice how you flush and hurry out of the kitchen to join Seungmin on the sofa.

“House Hunters?” You ask with a laugh, looking at the TV once you have settled next to him. “I told you HGTV is the best.”

Seungmin hums in agreement. “I thought it was stupid at first, but Hyunjin was watching Fixer Upper and I got addicted,” he says, nodding to the older boy doing a little dance in the kitchen as he eats one of his tacos. Your heart does somersaults at the sight. “They’re all so good,” you agree after taking a few bites of your own food, eyes trained on the television, “House Hunters is a classic, though.”

“I like the international one,” Hyunjin adds on his way over, crashing unceremoniously next to you. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Seungmin wrinkle his nose when Hyunjin sets his free hand casually on your thigh. “Shh,” he grumbles, vaguely gesturing to the screen and chewing a mouthful of food, “I wanna hear what the house has.”

One episode turns to two, which turns to three, which turns to four, and suddenly you have been watching House Hunters with Seungmin and Hyunjin for almost three hours. It definitely is the weed, always making time perpetually slower, and it did not help when Jisung and Changbin reappeared sometime during your binge with one of Felix’s bongs. Not necessarily how you intended to spend your precious Friday night, but there is no sense in complaining when you are with your buddies and Hyunjin, of course.

Taco Bell long gone, you watch with blurry eyes when Hyunjin gets up from his slumped position against you to head into the kitchen and open the freezer. This, as well as the realization that House Hunters has ended and gone to some other, not-as-cool show, brings both you and Seungmin somewhat back to reality.

“It’s almost ten,” Seungmin announces, staring dazedly at the time on his phone. You hum in acknowledgment, certainly sober enough to reply but simply too lazy to. “I think I’m going to bed. Or play something. Don’t wreck the place,” he sighs, dragging a hand down his face before standing up. “G’night, Minnie,” you smile, watching with a furrowed brow as he continues down the hall and into his room. It isn’t until you hear his door click shut does the weight of being alone with Hyunjin settle on your chest.

It’s not like you haven’t spent time alone with Hyunjin before. In fact, that usually is the way it’s been in the past three years; whether the two of you decided to do your own thing or the rest of your friends eventually left or went to bed, you are used to this feeling. Used to ignoring the butterflies in your gut when he does something particularly cute and used to tampering down the mental images you conjure up knowing it’s just you and him.

But that doesn’t make things any easier. No matter how hard you try, you simply can’t help but feel this way around Hyunjin, especially when you’re alone. That’s just the way the cookie crumbles.

“Whatcha wanna watch?” Hyunjin asks around one last spoonful of ice cream before setting the pint back into the freezer. “Uhh…” You drone, blinking heavily at the TV and back to him as he makes his way back over. “I dunno, I’m sure you’ve been watching some drama. You can put that on.”

“You sure?” He asks with a raised brow, collapsing next to you and slumping dramatically halfway down the cushions. “Yes,” laughing, you find yourself reaching out to tuck messy strands of hair back behind his ear without hesitation, “also, why are you wearing a hat inside?”

Hyunjin pauses, straining to look up as if he will be able to see the back of his cap against his forehead. “I’m wearing a hat?”

“Yes, you idiot,” in comes the endless weed giggles and you find yourself unable to stop laughing, watching with teary eyes as he sits up and takes his hat off. “I don’t remember putting this on,” he chuckles airily, flipping the cap back and forth in his hands before tossing it onto the coffee table. “Should I cut it?”

“No!” You shout a little too quickly and a little too loudly. Shrinking against the arm of the couch, you ignore his amused smile and look to his long hair, freshly bleached strands falling down to his neck and shorter pieces brushing against his cheeks. Fuck, it should be illegal to look this good. “I like it long. It really suits you.”

“It’s annoying,” Hyunjin grins despite his complaint, lifting his legs onto the couch and flopping onto his side, head now resting on your lap. “I don’t know what to do with it.”

Now that he’s offered playing with his hair on a silver platter, you don’t hesitate combing your fingers through it, tugging out pieces stuck under his head and brushing it out completely. “You could pull the sides back,” you hum distantly, separating a section of hair near his temple to pull back, “or make a bun with what you can. You just have to play around with it.”

Humming in agreement, Hyunjin resituates himself after reaching for the remote and switching to Netflix. When you go back to simply raking your fingers from root to tip in irregular directions, you don’t miss the way his eyelids flutter at the motion and make sure to pay extra attention to his scalp. When this turned into a head massage, you’re not entirely sure.

The drama Hyunjin puts on is unbearable. You stopped paying attention a while ago, focusing more on him and how he seems to enjoy it, fingers busy braiding random sections of hair, taking them out, and then braiding them again. With two finally done the way you want them to, you are midway through the third when your fingers begin to cramp up.

“Why’d you stop?” Hyunjin asks seconds after you drop the braid and stretch your fingers out. “Fingers are cramping,” chuckling at the disappointed pout of his lips, you crack what knuckles you can before going back and undoing the unfinished braid. “Oh,” he mutters, cheek still pressed against your leg, “feels good.”

Humming in response, you ignore the way his words make your heart swell and begin gathering all his hair into a ponytail, pressing the braids to lay flat and finally tying it with a hair tie once you have combed up all that you can. Immediately, his bangs and hairs closer to the nape of his neck fall out, leaving the ponytail spikey and messy. At least the braids look good. You can’t help but giggle.

“What?” Hyunjin asks, pausing his show and leaning up. “What’d you do?”

“Go see for yourself,” pointing to the bathroom, you comb out a looped piece of hair before he stands to do just that. His ponytail bobs the entire walk there.

When he reaches the door and flips the light on, you watch from your position as he checks himself out, brushing away his bangs and flicking the pony. You frown when he accidentally yanks at a braid.

“Come here,” you say, sitting up, “you messed up the braid.”

“Honestly,” Hyunjin considers his reflection one last time before skipping his way over, “it doesn’t look half bad.” Expecting him to sit back next to you, your pulse quickens when he anchors a hand to the armrest and leans in front you, only inches away from your face. “No, definitely,” you say once you have gotten over the shock of him being so close so suddenly, “I like it in the ponytail. You’d really impress the girls if you braided your hair yourself.” Reaching up to tuck hair back into the braid and press it down flat once more, you don’t miss the way his brows draw together and lips twitch down. “What?”

Time ceases to exist as Hyunjin begins to come closer. In reality, you know it simply is a matter of seconds, but all of space and time seems to still once he leans forward. It feels as if an eternity goes by, allowing you to count each individual eyelash, memorize the details of his skin, take note of the smoothed lines on his plump lips. The way time slows is cruel; it allows panic to set in, the realization that he most certainly is looming over you with his eyes on your lips sending a spark of excitement and anxiety through your veins.

And then, just as this realization and this panic has set your nerves aflame, a gentle hand comes to cradle your jaw before Hyunjin’s lips press against yours.

It is so easy to surrender to the taste and touch of him. Instantly, an eruption of emotions and thoughts spiraling out of control fills you, yet your brain focuses only on Hyunjin, Hyunjin, Hyunjin. This is not the first time you have kissed him, nor the first time simply having him so close, but the feeling that radiates from your heart outward is unlike anything you have felt before. This is uncalled for. This is not like two years ago. You were not expecting this.

Hyunjin sighs into the kiss when you lean up to loop your arms around his neck. No sooner have you done this, he breaks away to sit beside you once more, hands reaching for your waist and guiding you to sit over his lap.

You could kiss him all day, you think, palms lying flat by his collarbones before fisting the material of his shirt when his tongue prods at the seam of your lips. Blood seemingly coming to a boil and nerves sparking dangerously, you find yourself quickly sobering up as the minutes tick by, completely and utterly addicted to him and this feeling, this feeling you have craved but never crossed the line for. And now, it’s yours to keep.

Forgetting the braids, you seize the opportunity to rake your fingers through his hair. Different, than how you did earlier. Desperate. Combing it away from his face once, twice, swallowing his groans when you tug at the roots, you realize with a whine that his hands have left your face in favor of dragging down your sides, circling back to squeeze at your breasts, rubbing at your thighs and finally sliding back to your ass, situating you more comfortably on his thighs.

When Hyunjin finally breaks the kiss to journey elsewhere, littering chaste kisses across your jaw, below your ear, down your neck, the weight of your actions finally hits you. It is overwhelming, the way you come spiraling back to reality, and you are not sure if the quiet moan that leaves you is due to the press of something else against your thigh or simply the realization that you are making out with Hyunjin.

You have to stop before you get hurt again.

“Hyunjin,” you gasp, shuddering when his soft lips brush against your jaw, “wait. We need to talk.”

He pauses at this, fingers digging into your sides and you feel his frown against your neck. “What’s there to talk about?” He murmurs, arms sliding around you and tugging you closer, prompting you to wrap your arms around his neck and hug him close and pretend like his boner isn’t digging into you.

It’s your turn to frown. “About us,” whispering, you lift one hand to stroke through his hair, “we need to talk about us.”

“I thought my feelings were very clear,” Hyunjin scoffs, all tenderness in his voice gone. Instinctively, you lean back, blinking at him in surprise. “Unless this is just another one of your games? Does this not mean anything to you, YN? I don’t think I could stomach you running off to Changbin or fucking Chan again.”

His words pierce your heart before you have even fully processed them, hurt flashing across your features and your body goes numb. “What?” Is all you can manage, scrambling to get away from him, chest heaving and eyes suddenly burning with the brine of tears. “What are you talking about, Hyunjin?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about!” He shouts. You flinch, not from the way he raises his voice, but from the genuine sadness in his eyes. “The past three years have been a constant battle with you. We’re best friends, for fucks sake, I figured out a long time ago that you have feelings for me. Feelings more than best friends. Yet every fucking time we started moving in the right direction, you turned your back on me.”

You can do nothing but stand there and let the tears fall. All the words and bottled emotions you wish to say are right there on the tip of your tongue, but you simply cannot bring yourself to voice them. Not when he’s right. Not when you have turned your back on him time and time again.

And then, he hisses more to himself than you, “Is this just sloppy seconds? You never once thought about my feelings in all of this?”

The anger brewing within you suddenly bursts from the dam and hisses through your body like deadly poison. “Sloppy seconds?” You snarl, fists clenching. “Who the fuck do you think you are? Your feelings? You just said you know how I feel about you, so why didn’t you ever do anything about it? How was I supposed to know you felt the same?”

“I thought it was pretty fucking obvious,” Hyunjin spits back, gaze narrowing, “didn’t think I had to spell out the fact that I like you, YN. You’re a smart girl.”

“Do not treat me like a child,” clenching your jaw, you have to look away for a moment, pacing one, two, three steps, hands raking through your hair and wiping away the stream of tears from your cheeks. You have never been filled with such rage. Having finally reached its boiling point, it now consumes you whole, sweeping off in waves and destroying all boundaries. “Confessing is not an easy thing, as you apparentlyknow, so don’t make me seem like the only idiot here. But maybe I was wrong about you if you think of me as just sloppy seconds.”

“I never said that!” Hyunjin barks, standing up to grasp your wrist when you turn away to grab your keys. “Don’t put words in my mouth! I would never, never think of you that way. I just don’t understand why you never spoke up after all this time. I’ve been dying, YN, you have no clue how badly I have been—”

“Oh, believe me, I know,” you snap, yanking your arm away from him, “I told you, Hyunjin. Telling someone you love them isn’t as easy as learning to ride a bike. You’re right, I have turned my back on you. But not intentionally. I’ve been scared, I’m a pussy, whatever.” Biting your top lip as if it will stop the tears that continue to fall freely, you avoid looking at him and glance back to find not only Seungmin, but Jisung and Changbin, too, peeking out from their doors with eyes blown wide with shock. Once you have noticed them, however, they panic and scramble to get out of sight.

Sighing shakily, you look back to Hyunjin and cannot ignore the way your heart sinks at the sight of him. Even upset, he is beautiful. You wonder how much you will see him after this.

“You don’t have to tell me you like me back to make me feel better, Hyunjin,” bouncing on your heels, you suddenly feel exhausted, body and soul heavy with the words you not only spoke, but heard, too. “We can figure this out another day, but for now, I need to go home. I’ll see you.”

Turning away once more, you do not make it very close to the front door before he stops you once more. “Wait, YN,” Hyunjin huffs, smiling softly when he reaches for your hand and you do not pull away. Running his tongue over his lip, he seems to hesitate for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts.

“Did you mean it when you said you love me?”

⇢ epilogue

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dayzone · 4 years ago

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hello tumblr user andrewsrabies i've been having some jeaneil thoughts lately 😭 anything to share w the class 🙏

hi tumblr user daystens let’s talk about my random jeaneil hcs

neil gifts jean a pair of bright socks with cutesy cartoons on them as a joke but jean unironically loves them so neil buys him a shitload but just stuffs them in jeans drawer and never admits to buying them. they don’t talk abt it.

they actually do this a lot.. like. they will never admit it but taking care of each other quietly and without wanting for thanks is their love language. neil likes to cook for jean, he mealplans for them, leaves him baked gifts on the counter for jean to wake up to when neil has already left for class/work. jean likes to buy little trinkets and knick knacks for neil bc neil is at a place where having more things is grounding more so than anxiety inducing. it helps remind him that he takes up space in the world and that it’s okay. neil is particularly fond of 3D puzzles

i wanna think that in a world where they weren’t hurt quite as much and where touch doesn’t almost always hurt they like to wrestle. they are just dumb boys with stupid jock disease. it always starts out as like,, footsie or even just little shoulder nudges but neil can and WILL climb jean like a tree or attempt to suplex him. jean is too competitive for his own good, ESPECIALLY when neil is involved. it does not matter when or where. in jeans dorm? jeremy is terrified. in a restaurant? just another one they’re banned from. on the sidewalk? campus security knows them by name.

neil likes it when jean lays on top of him. the weight is just... nice and grounding. it works for jean too because after a long day he can always look forward to coming home and immediately flopping on top of neil, letting his muscles unclench one by one as neil strokes down his neck and back, carding fingers through his hair and tracing along his ears. jean likes the quiet rumble of neil’s chest as he hmms along to jeans rant about why his day was specifically terrible (in a post canon setting, jean relishes in being able to consider getting drenched from the rain, getting a B on a test he studied hard for, and rude, snappish people as a reason for his day to be terrible. it takes a while, and there’s days that even the thought of doing such makes him hate himself, but usually it’s just proof of freedom)

they are terrible at singing. TERRIBLE. THE BOTH OF THEM. but that doesn’t stop them from serenading each other in french, giggling all the while and holding each other close to sway to the song that they’re making up as they go

they have too many inside jokes. their texts are indecipherable.

chaotic. sometimes just the sight of them standing together gives kevin a headache.

they tune everyone’s opinion of them out. a common opinion is that neil is too mean, too blunt to jean, that jean lets neil get away with too much and is too flippant about everything in life. neil’s lack of sugar coating helps jean the most though, helps him see straight and come to the present when things get overwhelming. jean is organized but has recently started carrying a more casual air around him that reminds neil that if he takes a breath, if he takes a break, he isn’t going to die

jean has all of his keys painted. his closet is filled with bright clothes. his phonecase is layered in stickers. he likes color. neil is impartial to style but loves to steal jeans clothing, so they’re kind of walking disasters. jean is can kind of pull it off and knows a little about matching clothes together but neil just cannot be bothered. jean likes to dress him up whenever neil lets him, though.

they do a lot of crafts and are kinda bad at them but it’s stress relieving nonetheless and they proudly display everything throughout their apartment. their crocheted blankets are kinda lumpy and the colors aren’t perfect but they’re neils favorite. the kinda leaky mugs neil makes arent really usable but jean adores them anyways and uses them in any way possible (other than drinking from them). jean likes to paint things around the house just to make it brighter. neil knows jeans fondness for colorful things so whenever he sees something particularly bright and eye catching, he’ll buy it for their apartment. jeans favorite thing so far is a five inch tall multicolor and glittery walrus statue. it’s on their living room mantle. andrew despises their apartment and has only been in it once.

touch becomes really important between them. little touches, fingers brushing napes, intwined pinkies, ankles resting against each other, a nudge of a forehead against a shoulder. the bigger touches are important too. they make time each day, on good days when touch is good and doesn’t make their skin crawl, to just feel each other, whether it’s cuddling on the couch, jean giving neil a foot massage, or taking the time to wash each other in the shower and rub lotion into each other’s skin afterwords

erm idk if u can tell but i am feeling v soft for them rn :,) pls talk to me more about jeaneil... tell me if u want more angst or fluff i have many ideas about both

#i love them. so good.#neil josten #jean moreau #jeaneil #aftg #tfc #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg hcs

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dailyaudiobible · 5 years ago

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03/29/2020 DAB Transcript

Deuteronomy 11:1-12:32, Luke 8:22-39, Psalms 70:1-5, Proverbs 12:4

Today is the 29th day of March, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I’m Brian it's great to be here with you at the beginning of a week where we just consider that it's all out in front of us and step through the threshold together and see that it's brand-new, it's waiting to be lived into, its shiny and sparkly, and the choices that we make and the paths that we walked down they’re gonna tell the story of…of this week. And, so, let's approach it with full hearts and an openness to God's leading in our lives. So, we gotta a new week. So, we’ll read from the New International Version this week and we’re gonna be continuing our journey through Deuteronomy and Luke. And just by way of reminder, I hope it's not over reminding but Deuteronomy is…these are the final things that Moses has to say. So, it is reviewing the story that we've read, but he's speaking it to a generation of people that are about to attempt to go into the Promise Land. And, so, it is a review, but it gives us a really good chance to review a lot of territory that's very detailed. Deuteronomy helps us kind of pull that together as we prepare to move into a new era in the Bible. So, today we’ll read Deuteronomy chapters 11 and 12.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for bringing us into this brand-new week and as we enter this week, we enter it with a rhythm of life, allowing Your word to speak into our hearts each and every day. And, so, even as we’re here at this…at this little threshold with his new week, You know, that’s just something that we recognize every week, it's still true, it's out in front of us and we don't dare want to take a step forward without taking a step forward with You. We’ve learned far too well what our own way looks like and yet we confess that everything will sweep in upon us in this week and we will be busy about our own way without even realizing it, but we’re here now and we’re out in front of it and we’re inviting Your Holy Spirit to lead us into all truth. And…and…and that's never not happening. Wisdom is never not at every crossroads, either. What we need we have we’re just often not paying attention at all. And, so, come Holy Spirit, quicken us, that we might slow down enough to know that before we make any decision which should consult You. Come Holy Spirit into this week we ask in the mighty name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website and that is indeed home base for a virtual community like ours. So, that’s where you go to find out what's going on around here.

That's where the Prayer Wall lives and that is always happening. That’s we’re get different links of different connection points on social media, etc. Those…that can all be found in the Community section.

But also something really unique is going on around here, something we’ve never ever been able to do before, but just really overjoyed to be able to do it in the time that we’re kind of going through, this disruption that is happening throughout the world and, you know, causing all kinds of interesting things to be said and done each day. And we began kind of the middle of…middle of last week and we’ll kinda go through this week until we’ve concluded. But, my book, Sneezing Jesus, we’re releasing this as an… releasing the audio addition one chapter a day. And this is a gift. This is a gift from NAV Press who published this book. It’s a gift from the Daily Audio Bible. This was the fertile soil from which it was written, but this is the gift of good news. It's a portrait of Jesus life. It's an exploration of Jesus humanity and what that means to our humanity. It's a clear and concise telling of why the good news is good news and it's an exploration of the fact that the good news spread like a virus and good news can spread like a virus just like darkness, just like viruses that can hurt you. And, so, today we are up to the chapter called Between a Place and a Hard Rock. And this explores the story of Jesus walking away from the sea of Galilee, 15 miles. So, like walking 15 miles north to the city of Caesarea Philippi which is a pagan Gentile city. And this is the place where Jesus asked perhaps the most important question that can ever be asked in life, “who do you say that I am?” So, that chapter is available now. It just shows up along with the Daily Audio Bible each day. It’s a separate program but it shows up in the feed and you can click on it and listen to it and move through the book together as we do…do this in community. So, be sure to take advantage of that. It's…it's a joy, it's a joy, honestly to give this to you, especially now.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that dailyaudiobible.com. There's a link that lives on the homepage. I thank you. I thank you with all of my heart for your partnership. If you are using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer the mail, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can dial 877-942-4253 or you can just hit the Hotline button in the app and begin to share from there.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi DAB family it’s Carla Jean in Las Vegas I am calling to pray for all of us during this pandemic. In particular I am a couple of days behind, but I just heard Asia praying and feeling isolated and judged. And I’m just so sorry sister that you’re going through this and I’m just praying that hearts and minds will open and just be kind to one another. I read Peter’s request on Facebook to pray for God’s Smile who’s in such tremendous pain. And it hurts my heart to know that you are in pain sister and please know that I’m praying for you very deeply. Sierra, I’ve heard you, I heard your mission trip is postponed and that you’re feeling abandoned by your grandpa. And I’m just praying that God will work on his heart, that he will come to know the Lord first and foremost and to find reconciliation with you and I am praying that the Lord will open up a place for you to be and that while you are in the hallway you are praising Him in the hallway. Jerry from Duluth, I hear you brother. My kids also have mental health issues. And my son woke me in the middle of the night last week and was suicidal. Brother, you are not alone. I’m praying for your kids. Please pray for my kids too. I love you all so much. And thank you Brian for being the pioneer to online and virtual community. We so need you and I’m so glad that I’ve been part of this community for years so that right now I don’t feel as alone as I would without you. I love you all so much. God bless you. Bye.

Hey DAB family, first and foremost I want you to know that I’m praying for the whole world. I know these are some scary times, but we rely on the Lord and His promises. We should not fear, we should not live in fear for He is a great God. Would you please pray for my sister-in-law that is been called to go to New York? She’s a doctor, she was…she’s in the military reserve and they were just activated, which means that they will go and serve and help all the sick in the midst of everything that’s happening in New York. Please pray for them. She has a little boy, he’s less than a year old. So, he’s going to be at home left. Would you please lift her husband up as he will be home as well playing the role of a single dad? They don’t have a timeframe. Her name is Natalie, her husband’s Kenny their son is Caleb. I also have another request. My sister-in-law Michelle is a nurse. She is an RN in California in LA for Kaiser and I’m sure you’ve heard in the news they are completely under resourced. Please pray for them. Pray for a hedge of protection over all health care, all the nurses and doctors, janitors, I mean everyone that is just making sure that the hospitals are running to care and love everybody. This is Stephanie from California. Thank you so much. Love the DAB family. And thank you so much for lifting us with prayer. Love you guys. Stay strong. Share the gospel, especially during this time. Stay positive. Love you guys.

Daily Audio Bible this is Jane Ruth from Nebraska and I wanted to say something else. I know that I’m not supposed to submit twice. But Brian, on my belly button birthday March 22nd, you talked about Luke 15 and you talked about the…the guys…letting the guy come down through the mat…through the roof on the mat. And you made reference…you know sometimes all these parables kind of run together for me…but the thing that Jesus said was, “your sins are forgiven.” And when you said the words, you know, we can say that to somebody else, that your sins are forgiven, I thought, “that’s heresy.” But wait, in the Lord’s prayer, and you said this, we are to forgive other people’s sins as He forgives our…forgives our sins. And the thought that went through my mind was, “Jane where have you been all this time. You’ve been saying those words over and over again.” And it was like He sets the captive free and I felt like finally, finally I could forgive all these people that I’ve been carrying around on my…on my back like this albatross. And I felt like finally Jesus saves because I have been set free. It was the most incredible awareness that I don’t have to carry these people around anymore. Thank you so much.

This is Violet from Indiana I’m calling in response to Nick’s request for prayer. Nick helps in public transportation. Drives a bus I think he said. I want to know Nick I’m praying for you and adding to that prayer all of the DAB family who work in service to the public where they are daily exposed to people who are often acting in a much less-than-perfect way. I pray that God will protect you and help you through this time so that you will not become ill. But I also pray that the Holy Spirit will fill your hearts with the spirit of forgiveness as so many of us are so less-than-perfect and we display behavior that is not loving, not kind, not patient, not considerate and that you service workers can be filled with forgiveness as our Lord forgives us, forgiving us for our imperfections that we display that just add to the burden of the work that you are so graciously serving for us. So, I will keep you in my prayers Nick. And all of those DAB family who are giving service, I thank you and I thank God for the gift of you in our lives. Amen.

Good day Daily Audio Bible family my name is Oscar I’m calling in from the United Arab Emirates where I live and work. I’m a first-time caller but have been a listener for about a year now and I’m really grateful for the family I have here in the Daily Audio Bible. Thank you, Brian…Brian Hardin and family for all that you do and for letting God use you in such mighty ways. I’m calling in today because I just listened to the first part of the book Sneezing Jesus and I can’t describe what a blessing…what an encounter it has been. I think one word to describe this is Emmanuelle, God with us. I mean like the book mentions as much as we like to focus on the divinity of Christ which, of course, cannot be denied, the human side of him, the humanity of Christ makes Him so…so relatable. And the fact that…that God wouldn’t…wouldn’t give up, the fact that God doesn’t give up on humanity. In fact, I find that…through this book I find that God actually affirms our humanity. And it’s a real miracle to see how he brings forth these treasures from our earthen vessels. And I can’t imagine…can’t describe. Sorry, if my thoughts are a bit jumbled. It’s because I’m still reeling from the __ of this book. It’s something that I never realized I needed at this very point in time. And I just want to say, thank you so much for making this available. I’m totally going out there to buy the book myself. Thank

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jaywrites101 · 6 years ago

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Tag Game: About the Author

I was tagged by @trickster-writes you should give her a look-see if you haven’t already. Thanks =)

Rules of the Game: Answer these questions and tag blogs you’d like to know better.

Nickname: thejay101 was the name I used while gaming online, what little of that I did. Now, on Social Media, I use JayWrites101 as a brand name to unify my different accounts (even though the only two I’m active on is Twitter and Tumblr) Fun Fact: Jay. is my nome de plume or pen-name. There’s a lot of meaning packed into those four characters lol.

Zodiac: Uhhh, Capricorn, I think. I don’t put stock into zodiac signs so I keep forgetting, but I like reading posts about _____ as the signs, so I keep re-looking up what I am. XD

Height: Don’t know. I don’t measure. I’m taller than you’d think but shorter than a lot of people.

Time: rn it’s 11:11 A.M. I think I’m on U.S. Central timezone.

Favorite Band/Artist: Favorite?

Song Stuck In My Head: The Cups song, -- I can’t remember it’s proper name -- but I’m weird so I’ve also got bits of Five Rings, New Divide, Halzy’s Without Me, and the main refrain of Spectacular Spider-man interrupting at “fun” intervals. (Spec-tacularr, Spec-tacularr, Spider-man! Spec-tacularrrrr (repeats))

Last Movie I Saw: Captain Marvel. And before that Shazam. (I watched S first so I wouldn’t be quite as biased towards one or the other.) The JayReviews should be finished on Friday.

Last Thing I Googled: The correct spelling for the word “necessarily.” In my defense, that was four days ago. And I double check words a lot out of paranoia more so than proper misspellings. (I have Grammarly for that.)

Other Blogs: None, but again, I’m on all Social Media platforms except Kick. But again, again... I’m only active on this one and Twitter.

Do I Get Asks: Every once and a while. I love asks, especially about my writings, life, philosophy, or my furry little editors. =D

Why This Username: Well, I started gaming under thejay101 ‘cause Ima school ya’ ;D I’ve always been really good at games, and I’ve always been a bit (read lot) of a braggart. But with the march of the internet, that name got more and more taken by people who were not me. XD

So I came up with JayWrites101: A Writer on Social Media. It was unique, interesting, slightly more humble and -- most importantly -- not already taken. So I spasmed my fingers across my keyboard as fast as I could to go through each of the Social Media accounts and stake my claim at the accounts before anyone else could. I even made a website under JayWrites101 so no one else can.

This way, It’s a brand name. I’m still trying to grow it. To figure out what I am and what I do, but I’m getting there slowly. =) Right now it’s just my author’s platform, but I’d like to think that someday if I get big enough and have people who share my dreams with me, it’ll grow and become a pillar of the internet.

Following: Only 667. And... Fun... Fact.... <.< I’ve only got 274 followers, but in your defense you guys and gals and everything in between are Awesome! I love ya all and I like how much interaction we have ^.^

Thank you.

Average Amount of Sleep: 8-10 hours! I’m a long sleeper. If I get any less than that I end up groggy, slow, and it’s all I can do to go about my day on autopilot.

Fun Fact: Once while I was working at DG, I was so overworked and go so little sleep that I spent a whole workday running on autopilot and when I got home I couldn’t remember anything I did that day at work.

Bonus Fact: The day after that was my day off and I spent the entire 24hours asleep!

And my manager still wonders why I quit! <.< Whackadoodle.

Lucky Number: Ten. Let’s see if you can guess why lol XD

What am I wearing: Well, normally it’s a t-shirt and blue jeans, but today I’m being wild so it’s a t-shirt and sweatpants!

Dream Job: Making money as a playboy billionaire who made a tech company when he was six and is still making enough from interest alone to justify him never needing a job as long as he lives, but he continues to go to the office and sign paperwork so he can make even more money, buy a few yachts, tour the globe eight times over in style, and still have enough money to fund a few local social programs like “here, I’m not a dick.”

Just kidding, my dream job is doing everything I’m already doing, just getting paid for it.

Dream Trip: I’d really like to tour Europe, just once. Go to London, travel to France, see Rome, and Athens, go to Barcelona. You grow up hearing about these places and seeing them romanticized through film, but... I want to see them for myself. It’s kinda like wanting to go to Disneyland to see the unpaid actors and find the cracked, seams in the facade. I want to see the reality behind the dream.

And I want to go with friends or family. Or maybe both. I know I don’t want to go alone.

Favorite Food: Chicken Fajitas with either Fried Rice or Nachos and just simply drowning in queso cheese. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: It’s heaven in a plate.

Instruments I Play: Um... I can read sheet music, and I can sing. Roughly that means I can sorta play all instruments badly, but none of them well.

Fun Fact: I took piano lessons as a kid, but stopped.

Bonus Fact: I still compose little tunes to go with my poetry.

Eye Color: Blue

Hair Color: Dark Brown

Aesthetic: Combat boots and a long brown overcoat, a wisard’s staff in one hand, and a short sword in the other, a broadsword across my back and a mischevious grin on my face.

I don’t know if this is an aesthetic like your looking for, but it’s how I see myself.

Languages I speak: I badly speak English, I can read and write in Spanish, and sorta hold a conversation. (Hearing words pronounced is a challenge) I can bluff my way through Japanese (A few very important words) and various bits and tidbits across all the Latin languages that come from studying etymology.

Most Iconic Song: If it’s theme songs you’re looking for that would be Centuries, by Fallout Boy. But if we’re talking about songs that are iconically me to me, that would be Fairly Local, by Twenty-one pilots.

Random Fact: There’s no such thing as fire or lighting.

What we see as fire is actually a low-level plasma that’s formed from the air superheating into the fourth state of matter due to an exothermic reaction. (A chemical reaction that releases heat energy and carbon stored within the wood.)

And what we call lightning is the same phenomenon caused at a much higher intensity as invisible electricity moves through the air. The sheer friction of electricity passing electrons through the air causes the air molecules to superheat and change states into plasma. Basically, electricity is burning the air as it moves from one point to the other.

Tagging: @currentlynotreading, I have to know what your answers are lol. @bexminx @blueinkblot @pens-swords-stuff @kiramartinauthor @odd-dog @ciestess @ednaraged @thatoneaceinthecorner @siarven @prettydoddleoddle and @soul-write

I think you’re supposed to tag twenty, but you’re all my most active followers. =)

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writerunsolved · 6 years ago

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The Drunken Mistake - Ch. 1

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Category: F/M

Fandom: Real Person Fiction

Relationship: Tom Hiddleston/Reader

Genres: Fluff and Humor

Language: English

Chapters: 3/?

Summary: You're a young up-and-coming singer based in London who has just released her first album.

After a wild night at the VMAs and some heavy partying and drinking at the afterparty, you write and publish a drunken tweet about a certain celebrity and one of their friends. You only realise what you've done the next day when a slew of texts and calls wakes you up to a dreadful but expected hangover. You immediately delete the tweet, but you're left to deal with the consequences. A public apology would probably be enough to make everything go away if you hadn't been invited to a movie premiere where said celebrity is most certainly going to be.

You decide that the best course of action will be to try and avoid them, but your plans almost never go the way you want them to.

Chapter One - Never Tweet Your Deepest Fantasies

The light streaming in through the window right onto your face, though annoying, wasn’t what woke you up.

It was instead the insistent vibration of your phone, sitting deceivingly innocently under your pillow and making your brain rattle in your skull. The frankly inordinate amount of alcohol you had consumed the night before certainly wasn’t helping, either.

Resigned to having to face your hangover eventually, willing or not, you finally took out the phone and through bleary eyes, you saw you had a disconcerting number of missed phone calls and messages from your manager; in addition, your phone kept blowing up with social media notifications in your hand.

Panicked and confused, you tried to remember the night before.

You’d left the house quite early in the afternoon, dressed to the nines and wearing make-up, all thanks to your stylist Nadia and your make-up and hair expert Linda, and a car had picked you up to bring you to the VMAs where the red carpet had been waiting for you. When you’d first started attending big events like this, you had soon realised what a long day they made: the red carpet usually started pretty early in the afternoon, and by the time the actual event took place you would have been standing on high heels for several hours already. You’d grown tired of wearing them almost immediately, so now when you attended events of this kind you would usually swear off the stilettos and go for a trendy pair of flats.

This time had been different, though. It was an important night, and you wanted to look your best. Moreover, it had been a while since you’d worn heels, and you’d forgotten the actual pain they caused you. So, as with any other event, you’d been dropped off at the venue and walked the red carpet while a never-ending number of pictures of you was being taken and after what felt like an entire day and night, you’d finally gotten off your feet and taken your seat in the audience, not too far away from the stage.

You could still feel the phantom pain of the shoes where they’d scraped off your skin behind your ankles, you reached your hand to lightly touch the spot and moaned in pain, both because of your feet and because of the sharp pang the movement caused to your hungover brain.

You laid back down with your head on your pillow and tried to go through the rest of the night. You immediately remembered winning the award for Best New Artist and happiness pervaded you once again, you still couldn’t believe that had happened! You sought to remember where you’d put the award. You looked for it around the room and noticed it on the floor, right next to the door, propped to keep it open. You reflexively slapped your forehead in reprimand - which only worsened the headache - that was no way to treat your first important award!

After receiving your reward, and hopefully not making a fool of yourself during your acceptance speech, things got a little muddled. You remembered wanting to celebrate and leaving with some of the guys in your staff and some other artists who’d been attending the event. Drinks had begun flowing, which was exactly why your memories were so hazy.

You attempted to squeeze more memories out, but you’d drank so much your brain must have gone into overdrive at some point. Normally, you weren’t one to overdo it with alcohol, but it had been a special night and the award had come as a huge surprise, so it hadn’t been hard to convince you to make toast after toast. Everyone around you had been having fun, it was only natural for you to get carried away with the euphoria of your first real award.

You couldn’t remember anything else after that, so you still had no idea what the reason for your social media blow-up might be. You reassured yourself with the thought that it would just be some kind of article full of embarrassing pictures of you completely dishevelled and visibly drunk. Sure, it wasn’t ideal and it would leave you ashamed for the rest of time, but it would blow over in relatively no time when one of the Kardashians would be spotted buying a pair or jeans or something equally trivial. You shot a quick text to your manager Nina to let her know you were awake and alive, and resolved to find out what was going on as soon as possible. You were just about to open up Twitter when another text from Nina made the matter that much more pressing. It read: “You need to take that tweet down RN!!!!!!”.

You immediately sat up, headache be damned, and scrambled to open the Twitter app. Without bothering to scroll through your timeline, you went directly to your own profile and right there it was, mocking you and punishing you for your questionable life choices, your most retweeted and liked tweet:

[ID: Displayed name: A WINNER @ THE VMAS

Twitter handle: @trebledwoman

Tweet content: h cmoe on who wpldnt want 2 be RAWED by t hiddleston &chremsworth at the sme time?? ? ? if yoy wouldnt ure either a coward or yur lyin]

Dread immediately filled your lungs, you wanted to close your eyes and stop seeing what you’d done but the sheer disbelief kept them wide open, staring unblinkingly at the screen while your brain tried to process what was happening.

You couldn’t fathom doing something so stupid and reckless. It was one thing to be caught after a night of enthusiastic celebrations, but involving others in the show business industry was an entirely different ordeal. Bigger celebrities than you had gone down for much less and putting your whole career at risk because of one night of heavy drinking was the stupidest thing you could have ever done. Seemingly on their own, your fingers started scrolling through the responses you’d gotten and you could see people responding with memes, some even hilarious, but you weren’t really in the mood for a laugh at the moment. Others loudly announced having taken screenshots and having saved the tweet on the internet archive. You weren’t exactly surprised, the internet was forever after all. Even though several hours had passed since you’d posted it, and it was obviously too late for it not to have already spread all over social media, you deleted the tweet without a second thought.

You exited the app and called Nina.

“Jesus, finally! Have you taken that shit down?!” was her answer.

You brushed back your hair restlessly and replied with a sigh “Yes. God Nina, that was so stupid!! What am I going to do? This is a disaster, right? How could I possibly recover from this?! And I just got my first award, too, why did I have to drink so mu-”

“Honey, honey, listen to me. You need to calm down.” she interrupted you “People seem to have taken it as a huge joke, and there was no public reaction from neither Chris Hemsworth nor Tom Hiddleston.” she laughed nervously “I know it was up for several hours, but it’s good that you deleted it, and you will have to publish an apology as soon as possible.”

You took a deep breath and tried to unclench your jaw. Finally, you closed your eyes and said “Okay, so that’s our action plan for now? A public apology? And then what?”

“And then we hope the Buzzfeed articles will be humorous rather than accusing, and we keep on making music, ok?” you could feel and picture her warm smile through the phone “Seriously, we can get through this. Your career has just started and I have no intention of letting you go just yet.”

You’d really lucked out with Nina, she was such a supportive and incredible woman. As soon as she’d discovered one of your songs online, she’d seen a talent in you that not even you’d known you had. You felt a wave of guilt come over you, this was going to affect her too. “I’m so sorry, Nina. I shouldn’t have put you through this.” You shook your head resignedly “It’s one thing to make a mistake, but to let it reflect so badly on everyone around me… I really hope you can forgive me.”

“Oh, sweetheart…” he voice was kind “Don’t say that. I told you, we’ll recover from this. It’s not as bad as it feels right now, and don’t doubt for one minute that I will eternally make fun of you for it.”

That pulled a laugh out of you, she joined in then continued “Tom Hiddleston, though, really? I can understand Chris Hemsworth, he has muscles for days, but I would never have guessed you would be into the unassuming British type.”

A blush stained your cheeks, you were grateful she wasn’t there to see it or she would have never let you live it down. “Hey now,” you started defensively but with mirth “he’s cultured and polite. Plus have you seen his pecs? I bet you haven’t, you huge lesbian.”

Nina let out a rambunctious laugh that lasted several seconds, then said “Oh well, I guess you’re right.”

There was a beat of silence or two, then Nina concluded “I really have to go now, honey.” you never got tired of the pet name “As soon as you’re done writing down an apology, send it to me and I’ll let you know if you’re okay to publish it.”

You nodded, then remembering she couldn’t see it, you told her “Will do. Thank you so much, Nina. See you soon.”

“Later, sweetie.” with that she hung up.

You sat there for another beat, legs still half-covered by the duvet and phone in hand. You took a huge breath that filled you up from your shoulders to your abdomen, trying to gather the energy to face what was showing all the signs to be an interminably long day.

Your head was swarming with possible ways to go about apologising, you wondered whether to address part of it directly to the objects of your tweet or if it would be better to keep it vague and only concentrate on your behaviour. On one hand, you felt like you owed an apology to Tom Hiddleston and Chris Hemsworth for objectifying them like that, on the other you were conscious of the fact that that wasn’t the only reason why you were so ashamed of the tweet.

You regretted drinking so much. In hindsight, you realised that you’d put yourself in danger by being so reckless and that if you intended to pursue your career seriously and to win more prestigious awards, you couldn’t resort to that kind of behaviour again. At least it was a lesson learnt.

You put those thoughts aside, dwelling on guilt wasn’t going to help matters. For now, it would be better to concentrate on the task at hand and to look to the future. Lesson learnt, lesson ended.

You got up from the bed and crossed the room barefoot, on the way outside the bedroom you grabbed the award from where it was still standing up propped against the door and brought it with you to the kitchen through the dining room. The first thing you’d done with the earnings from your first album under your new record label had been to buy a small apartment in a building not too far away from central London. One of the things you’d hated the most about renting was the uncertainty of not having a real home that was your own, the possibility that at any moment you would have to pack up all your stuff and move away and start all over again. Furthermore, you loved reading and owning books, and when you were still renting it was impossible for you to maintain a decent library.

You thought back to first joining your sister in this great big city, and how terrified of the future you were. To be fair, the fear had never really gone away, but that was just the kind of person you were. Your sister had already been living in London for several years, she had a great job and all her life together, and she’d been pushing for you to move here too almost since the beginning. You had preferred to wait, though. You’d only just finished university and felt like you needed more time to figure yourself out, but eventually, the time had finally felt right and now here you were.

The small planner you’d been looking for was exactly where you expected it to be on the kitchen counter. You’d left it there before leaving for the VMAs and in it was basically your whole life. You had a detailed calendar of all your work and social commitments and several blank pages to use should the need arise. That was exactly why you’d been looking for it. You knew the apology would have to be published online and rewritten digitally, but pen and paper always helped you to better put your head in order.

You put down the award you still had in your hand right next to the planner and started idly flipping through this month's appointments, searching for a blank page to use and already wording the beginning of the apology in your head. You’d calmed down quite a bit since first waking up, and even your hangover headache seemed to be dwindling down on its own, so you felt much more centred about your current situation. And then you saw it -

September 4th - precisely one week from now - “New Marvel movie premiere”.

It came back to you in a flash, and really it was entirely your fault for forgetting, that in a week you would have to attend the premiere of a new Marvel film for the soundtrack of which one of your new songs had been chosen. How could you have possibly forgotten having written a song for a Marvel movie?! Alcohol was officially cancelled.

You felt a wave of nausea hit you, either from the residual hangover or from the realisation that you would come face to face with the flesh-and-blood consequences of your actions in a week from now. You couldn’t remember specifically what movie the London premiere was for, but even if it wasn’t another Thor movie there was simply no universe in which Tom Hiddleston and Chris Hemsworth wouldn’t be attending.

You grabbed a glass from where it was drying on the side of the sink and filled it to the brim with the coldest water that came from the tap, and while you were downing it in one single go, you made a resolution.

There was absolutely no way for you to skip the premiere, but you had to avoid Tom Hiddleston and Chris Hemsworth at any and all cost.

Chapter 2

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston fanfic #reader x tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fic #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston x you #fanfiction #reader tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston reader #tom hiddleston fandom

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staygoldponebone · 5 years ago

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🥀, ⚡, ❄️, 🌈

🥀- what makes you drift apart from people?

Lots of times I drift away from people because I’m horrible at conversation so I never really know how to keep them going or bring them up. I also have a tendency to overshare or scare people off with my emotions so oof....

⚡- what makes you tense?

Hmm. Anything that I find stressful- from socializing to doing something in a certain amount of time.

❄️- what gives you chills?

When there’s a harmony that’s real good is enough on it’s own, but when you throw in an ad lib or something on top, I’m out for the count! Honestly just any music where you can hear a powerful message that the singer is bringing will give me chills. I mean, Queen’s “Love of My Life” is a good example, along with “I Know Where I’ve Been” by Queen Latifah from Hairspray. Same goes for MJ’s “Gone Too Soon” and lets not forget “Till It Happens to You” by Lady Gaga. Powerful songs are amazing.

Another thing that really gives me chills are those really dramatic parts in movies or tv shows that are executed in the most defying ways. For example: Orange Is The New Black, near the ending of season four. Or the whole part near the end of The Art of the Steal or Employee of the Month where you see everything that actually happened.

🌈- what tends to make you step back and appreciate things?

I’d have to say that I honestly am not sure. Like, don’t get me wrong, I step back and appreciate things a lot, but it’s never consistent or triggered by anything. It happens randomly. I could be laying in bed, then be like “yo, it’s amazing how I’m alive rn and I thank God for that”. Or I could be driving to the store and I’m like “isn’t amazing how I’m living and breathing in the same universe as all these other 7 billion people? That’s amazing, man.” I’m just amazed by many things and all the little things of the universe are just beautiful and it’s mind boggling to know that we were all important enough to be given life and, as an American, I got free schooling and I can wear jeans and I don’t have to worry about a lot of things. I’m very fortunate, as are many, and usually branching off of these thoughts, I dream about one day, like, saving the world and making a difference and all that stuff that protagonists say in the movies.

But yeah. Anyway, sorry about my long ass answers…..

#my computer wife is a blessing #karen ily #💞💞💞

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gaylortruther · 6 years ago

Text

(many) tag games

saw someone else do this so i figured i’d go through all my tag games in one looong post instead of spamming you all with a bunch of separate posts!

i’m gonna tag everyone now and yall can choose which tag games you want to do or whether you want to do them all (or whether you want to do any)!!

thanks to everyone who tagged me in all of these! i LOVE being tagged in tag games and i am always up for more! <3

tagging THE SANCTION (including ppl that i haven’t gotten up on the page yet im sorry abfjffsdhsjbjsdf it will happen SOON): @newdivinities @wolvesofarcadia @maskedlady @victoiirres @sancta-silje @bumblebeesonpaper @wasting-ink-not-youth @horrorspell @ya-lady-tauriel @awritinglen @purpleshadows1989 @ivonoris @theforgottencoolkid @the-ichor-of-ruination @grotesqu-e @lucacangettathisass @tea-ndi @hazeywrites @lunar895 @thewordsinthesky-andstars

[LAST LINE TAG]

TAGGED BY @melwrotethat AND @hazeywrites

thank you both for the tags! these are the last few lines of the prologue-excerpt-thing i wrote for the page i’m working on for WHERE THE CELLAR MEETS THE SKY

Somehow, Collin hears them. Silently, she rolls up her sleeve, and Rowan feels the Collin Sutherland they knew is somewhere far, far away. The tattoos are black, geometric in design, two on each arm, and eerily similar to the ones Rowan has just discovered on their own left arm. They're sure if they were to roll up their right sleeve, they would find more.

"I should have told you a long time ago," Collin whispers. "I didn't know you were a part of it, but I should have guessed. I didn't want to put you in danger."

"I'm not- I don't- in danger of what?"

The waves crash onto the shore, and in the distance, a seagull cries, sending Collin into action. She grabs Rowan's hand and starts pulling, dragging them back behind the house.

"Come on. We don't have a lot of time, we have to get going. I can tell you everything on the way. I don't know why he brought me here instead of straight to the veil, damn it-,"

"Wait!," they say, wrenching their hand out of her grasp. "Just- stop! Where are we going?!"

Collin's eyes flash bright, despite the lack of sunlight. "Home."

yeah, a bit long, a bit unedited, but *shrugs*

[SPELL OUT UR URL USING SONG TITLES]

TAGGED BY @tea-ndi

thank you sage!!! <3

hard feelings/loveless | lorde

another one of those days | cavetown

let’s fall in love for the night | FINNEAS

ocean eyes | billie eilish

honey and milk | flower face

i know | king princess ft fiona apple

dreamz | sara king

iloveyou | BETWEEN FRIENDS

nobody’s home | gnash

greek god | conan gray

sycamore girl | rex orange county

and there you have a small sample of my music taste! add in literally every taylor swift song (dont judge me), some lo-fi tunes without ANY words whatsoever, and the occasional fall out boy or panic at the disco goddamn absolute banger, and you have my XANDERS JAMS playlist on spotify. ENJOY

[11/11/11 TAG]

TAGGED BY @awritinglen <333333333333333333333333

thank you for tagging me len!!! your questions were so fun!! i’m doing this for WHERE THE CELLAR MEETS THE SKY

Name all OCs in your WIP

OMFG okay,,, wait do you mean full names?? POV characters as of rn are Collin Aisling Sutherland, Rowan Tilley (doesn’t have a middle name) and Avery Bristol Charter. then the next most important one is Isaac Michael Rosewell, even though he’s the antagonist. then the side characters that are still very featured are Noah Rosalyn Pratten, Reese Iseul Radley, and Sage Emarosa Delgado. THEN we get into the very very side characters, Willa Robinson and her son August Robinson. then we have Avery’s parents, Alaric and the late Octavia Charter. and thennnnn we have Beldane Moreno, Avery’s uncle and Collin’s grandfather (undecided abt that last name but going w it for now). i promise it all makes sense. i promise anfnfsjnfdjsfd

Name at least one hobby your Main character love

i’ll give this one to Collin, she is a musician! Avery’s mother always taught her music before The Accident (dun dun dunnn) and after Collin was abandoned in the Nigh she threw herself into music. she plays guitar mostly, but she secretly loves piano the best out of every instrument she knows

3 sentences about your current WIP

OOF. im so bad at summaries why would you do this to meee abfhshjbsbshfjsbf. “A determined believer wants to return to a home that never wanted her. Almost 4000 miles away, an incisive, intellectual outcast of a dreamer muses over getting out of their hometown. And infinities away from them both, a teenage revolutionary disappears into thin air, on his way to bring back his past and fix his (and everyone’s) future.”

Is there a romance in your WIP and did you plan it from the beginning?

yes! there are three! they are definitely a main focus of the plot, but not THE main focus. Reese and Rowan were definitely planned from the beginning. Collin and Noah were, too, but they weren’t originally enemies to lovers, and they are now (hehehehehe). and Isaac and Avery were DEFINITELY not planned from the beginning. in fact, Avery was originally paired up with Sage, but it’s literally so much better this way and i’m so glad it’s been changed. Isaac and Avery has been planned since about when Isaac’s character was thought up, one year into planning WTCMTS.

What genre(s) is it?

a mix of dystopia and urban fantasy. and it’s YA, borderline NA because some of the characters are 19-20, but i still think YA is appropriate because of the style of writing.

What’s the aesthetic of two of your characters?

fun question! Collin’s aesthetic is very emo-punk, with a splash of yellow towards the end of the series. piercings, blue hair, rips on clothing, dirty converse, smudged eyeliner, safety pins. the yellow comes in as part of her character arc, as she learns to accept that her childhood memories are tainted and not actually perfect utopia. Rowan is way more minimalist (sometimes). they’re into the bookstagram type aesthetic, and mom jeans with sneakers, jean jackets, plants against a white wall, colorblocked windbreakers, rain against a car window.

When did you start your current WIP?

WTCMTS was started in august of 2017

How far along are you in the process (i.e 1st/2nd/3rd draft, worldbuilding)

still worldbuilding, unfortunately, for personal reasons

Who’s the hardest character for you to write?

OOOOOOF. sage or rowan?

What music genre best decribes your main character(s) and whats their favorite?

Collin - alternative (favorite band would be like twenty one pilots, p!atd)

Rowan - ichillwave (clario, rex orange county)

Avery - emo (fall out boy, all time low)

Isaac - indie alternative OR instrumental lofi (jaymes young, birdy)

Noah - electropop (lorde, halsey, charlie xcx)

Reese - folk rock (the head and the heart, of monsters and men)

Sage - indie pop (lana del ray, florence + the machine)

Are you working on more than one WIP?

yes! i have four currently but only two are important lol, ILLUNIUS and WHERE THE CELLAR MEETS THE SKY (this one). WIP PAGE

MY QUESTIONS

how did you come up with the title for your WIP?

is there anything you want to change about your WIP but you are hesitating on?

do you have a favorite character? a character that is your baby?

write a tinder bio for one of your characters.

how do you feel about epilogues? does your wip include an epilogue?

what changes does your MC go through over the course of the story?

what is the most significant insignificant thing that happens in your story? don’t explain why it is significant if it spoils things ;)

do you know what will happen after the ending of your wip, or would you rather not picture it?

how long does your wip span? is it a novel? a series? does it have prequels or spin-off wips?

what is a major internal conflict for your MC?

do you include flashbacks in your wip? do you like writing flashbacks?

[HOW TO KNOW YOU’RE IN A ______ NOVEL TAG]

TAGGED BY @writevevo AND @wolvesofarcadia

thank you both for this tag! it’s so much fun and both of your novels sound like novels that would be very interesting to be stuck in :D

inspired by this post

HOW TO KNOW YOU’RE IN A HALOHIDINGS NOVEL

you’re an older sibling and you have a younger sibling. you’re extremely bitter towards your younger sibling for stealing opportunities from you, damning you to a life you never truly wanted. your younger sibling adores you and just wants to please you. they never meant to do it.

you’re stuck in constant, wistful wanderlust, never feeling like you truly belong, never fitting in anywhere, not with friends, not with family, and when you finally find the place you’ve been looking for, you realize it’s nothing like you dreamed or remembered.

you’re not heterosexual. no one around you is. no one is cisgender either. where are they? no one knows.

you have a peculiar capability dancing under your skin. it trickles from your pores and muddles with your mind. maybe you asked for it, maybe it was predestined, maybe you never wanted anything to do with it. whatever the reason, it’s there, and you don’t know what’s you and what’s it. maybe you’re not meant to ask. maybe you’re meant to succumb.

your memories are as fickle as the rain, coming and going and breaking through the clouds, shattering the fog and disappearing with the sun. you can’t recall what you’re doing here, or where you’re meant to be instead. what’s your name?, they ask. you don’t know.

there are two worlds. one world is blissfully unaware of this, or at least, as unaware as any world of millions and millions of people can be. no secret can be kept forever, they tell you. you are desperately trying to keep the secret.

the one closest to you, despite your abhorrent denial of this fact, the one you would trust with your life, will betray you. because of their decision, their selfishness, you will either lose them, or lose yourself.

THOSE WERE SO FUN OMG. they all mostly apply to both of my major wips, which is probably bad. oh well LMAO

SORRY THAT WAS SOOOOOOOO LONG hope at least someone does one of these tag games lol <3

xander out

#taggedin

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gayside-blog · 6 years ago

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All of them, sorry

You’re not sorry but we’ll allow it. Here u go:

1. Post a picture of you?

I’ve never put a picture of me on Tumblr and I never intend to

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

Yeah

3. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

I don’t really have a preference! I don’t like people who are hypermasculine but I prefer spending time w boys/masc-aligned people so it can be a toss up sometimes. Luckily all of my friends are great

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

Yeah!

5. Can you commit to one person?

Yeah

6. How do you look right now?

Uh. Normal. Maybe a little tired

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

Jeans and a red t-shirt and grey toms sneakers. I have my red jacket but I’m not wearing it rn

8. How often do you listen to music?

Very often. I like to have it in the background when I’m chilling or studying and I usually listen while I’m traveling anywhere. Occasionally I use it to fall asleep but not so much anymore

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Jeans but I wish I wore sweats more often bc they’re more comfortable

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2020?

Probably. Maybe not suddenly but things are changing so much every moment for me right now

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

I’m pretty social! I like to talk to people I know well and strangers but a little less to people I vaguely know.

12. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I would be really jealous but I’d never act on that. I’d be happy for them

13. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

I think I’m okay at it

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

Nope

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

Yeah

16. Are you going out of town soon?

I guess so. Am I out of town now? Am I going out of town or going back to town?

17. When was the last time you cried?

Same as the last time I answered this. Sometime in march

18. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

No I think I have a type

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

Maybe for fun! My band director would wear red contacts on halloween so maybe I’d pull stunts like that

20. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

I have my last day of work for the semester tomorrow!

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

I wish I didn’t have to work so long today

22. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

This question is confusing

23. Are you nice to everyone?

I try to be! I’m not nice to people who are mean to people I care about

24. What are you sitting on right now?

A desk chair

25. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Yeah??

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Kind of?

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

Alex

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Not really! Usually like once a year

29. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

No!! That sounds horrible

30. Does anyone hate you?

I don’t think so

31. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

Yeah

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

I haven’t seen many! But I don’t like watching them right before trying to sleep

33. Are you a jealous person?

Yes

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

None of them! If I had to, I guess I’d pick 2011 but really they’re all very important to me

35. Did you have a dream last night?

I don’t think so

36. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

Technically yeah. I probably wouldn’t though, I like to maintain my mysterious and elusive persona

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Probably not

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

Yes? It’s complicated

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Probably not? Not to plagiarize Lio but someone is reading this rn so there’s that. As I’m typing this though, I don’t think so.

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

Yes. A goofy one

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

It’s hard to recall……no

42. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

No! I’m in a new state with new (wonderful) people and I’ve grown a lot personally

43. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

In theory? being bold

44. What’s the best part about school?

I’m learning the coolest things!! So I can go do the coolest things!

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

I don’t use my facebook besides to see cute videos of dogs (thanks Lio) and keep up on what my mom’s up to

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

I used to! Now we have phones

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

Ceaselessly and to my own detriment

48. Were you single over the last summer?

Mhm

49. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

“Working” or something. There’s no work to do though so I guess nothing. Studying?

50. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

Yeah!

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snkpolls · 6 years ago

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SnK S3E04 Poll Results (Manga Reader Version)

The poll closed with 407 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that this is the results of the manga reader poll. Anime only watchers are suggested not to read if you do not wish to be spoiled about certain events! Anime only viewers, click here to view your poll results!

Rate the episode

Overall, respondents gave the episode high ratings, with 90% total feeling that it was at least very good. The pollsters are very happy to see these ratings improve!

The episode felt short. I wanted more after watching it :)

The pacing of this episode was much better than the first two

We're only on episode 4 and about to enter the climax of the arc, not sure how I feel about this.

Very good. I hope that the skipped scenes appear in a later episode.

It was pretty neat. Sometimes stuff is a touch slow, but I know it’s all a lead up to what’s to come, and like, it’s important to have stuff that is slow sometimes so the big stuff feels even bigger.

This recent episode found a little boring to me. I feel like there's wasn't much action less Levi

Bruh I need the next episode like rn

Did you notice the subtle changes made to the animation in the OP this week?

Less than a quarter of respondents initially noticed that there was something different about the OP this week. However, just over half noticed them upon a second watch or seeing it pointed out by others.

I didn't notice the changes in the opening because I always skip it.

Which of the following scenes were your favorites?

Hange and Moblit taking out the MP’s won by a good margin. The runner up is Spider-Hange. Levi and Mikasa reacting to Kenny’s last name, Levi interrogating the Central MP and Jean testing Marlowe and Hitch were also very loved moments!

The moments between Jean and Marlowe is one of my favorites. That was really fantastic and Marlowe is going to be a wonderful SC member. Too bad he will die later. I was really upset about it while reading the manga. He was such promising and brave guy.

I enjoyed the moment when Erwin asked Nile about Marie. It felt like he still had some feelings to her. I wonder if they're going to go back to this topic later (in flashbacks). Probably not.

This episode was so fucking amazing after the exposition heavy episode 3! I have literally waited years to see Hange taking down that MP animated, shit, the way she just casually like ducks away from the bullet... I used to keep staring at the badassery in that manga panel and now I am watching it on repeat, Wit got that scene so perfectly right!!

My whole life has lead up to this moment with Hitch and Marlo!!! Bless WIT for doing so good by my precious MP!

It was hilarious when 3MPs ran on the ground to chase Flegel while they are equipping ODMG. It was even funnier when one of them cried for joy catching Flegel without using ODMG.

Faithful to the manga with a healthy combination of action and world-building. LOVED Flegel's "I'm the boss" scene.

Erwin’s VA was superb! I was close to tears during the scene when he and Nile were talking.

Who made the best face when ambushing the MP base?

Connie won by a landside! There was no contest here, folks.

How bangable was Levi this episode on a scale of 1-5?

As expected, over half of respondents would love it if Levi totally wrecked them. Although there are still quite a few of you who would rather he not.

LEVI DADDY PLEASE STEP ON ME!

Levi in the moonlight was everything I never knew I needed.

Levi cutie crazy ass bitch

Levi. Le-vi. LEVI.

On a scale of 1-5, how distressed were you to see Erwin beat up and chained?

More than half of respondents are anxious to see Commander Handsome out of chains and cleaned up!

How Erwin can kneel before them on his own? When he knows how horrible they are that they made decisions that killed his father? How can he be like that? Oh just take my heart away already! It's not that I need it…

Also, seeing my husband all beat is tragic and seeing him hanging was far too distressing and I know what’s going to happen in this season, but I want to pretend it isn’t happening and that he might be happy when he reunites with Levi

Erwin also manages to look hot not matter how beat up he is, which isn't even fair.

I love Erwin and he deserves the world. That is all.

Are you feeling better or worse about the season so far?

Most voters either felt great about the season from the beginning or have started to warm up to it a lot more! There is still a small percentage of those who are still unsure or unhappy, however.

Feeling alright overall about it but disappointed about some parts being rushed/skipped

I did not like the first two episodes, but now that the pacing has slowed I’m starting to like the episodes better. Still salty about the first two though.

I knew I was going to love it just because it's AOT, but I won't know how much I love it until I've seen how they handle the RtS arc

I havent feel good, still dont feel good but its better than before, so a combo of the 2nd and 4th option

I'm loving the episodes, but I'm still unure about some of the removed scenes, specially the ones involving Historia and Levi COS i swear to dead Marco if they do not animate Levi's smile im gonna riot

I'll wait until this arc is over to cast any judgement. However, I do wish they would've expanded the Reeves' storyline. It kinda fell flat for me in the anime.

Was unsure at first with all the changes from the manga, but have come to accept that some things are gonna be different so I'm just gonna enjoy it as it is. At the end of the day, it's still Attack on Titan so I'll always enjoy it.

I’m just happy we’re getting this season at all

I never thought they could make the uprising arc funny and interesting

Instead of attacking the Centrap MP HQ, Squad Levi ambushed a small outpost on the outskirts of Trost instead. Did you like this change?

Nearly half of respondents were okay or even preferred this change. 36% are let down that there was no slicing and shooting though. Chin up guys, the cave is coming soon!

I always thought it was a little confusing that squad Levi would go all the way out to the central base, so I think this made more sense because of how they're still on the run. The anime version feels a lot more like they could be caught at any second, which is great!

I was looking forward to the 104th's subtle distressed reactions after having done what they had to do. But I guess the anime is not for subtle.

I'm not sure if replacing the newfound edge from the SC by a lulzy moment was a right choice. I feel like we're losing the grim aspect of the SC not being good guys anymore.

I didn't even remember how the manga handled that, so I didn't notice the change.

I honestly like both situations

While i did want to see the gang cut up peoples legs, the anime version made more sense and I'm down for any Springlestein.

While the cart charge was hilarious, I'm not sure why a small outpost would know anything about Eren and Historia's location.

I quite honestly didn't notice the difference, the real attraction was Levi fucking the old boy's shit up

While I hopedd they'd make it bigger, after watching the episode I grew to like it, it makes sense both geographically and in terms of the scale of the event.

Oh lol I totally expect them to go ahead and get the Central MP HQ next. I mean, didn't they also do that so that the MP's couldn't mobilise and come to Kenny/Rod's defense later on?

Were you expecting there to be more focus on the press?

Most respondents were expecting to get Hange’s talk with the press prior to exposing the Military Police. A few are certain it’s lost not, while a good 30% are hopeful that we’ll still get it in another way.

By making the newspaper Trost local, their presence didn't need to be explained, and some aspects from their talk from 60 can be merged with the little moment from the Rookie from 61 after Erwin's trial so as to not be redundant.

The talk with Hange and the press will no doubt happen next episode.

Having a flashback would be good, but I don't have much faith in them doing it

Indifferent to it, doesn't make much difference to the overall plot.

we will get them though not in a flashback half the arc has been rearranged remember.

I NEED Hange brooding on a desk in the press office, it's an important part of my spiritual development

I hope we get more Peaure :(

Which scene from the PV are you most looking forward to next week?

At 41%, the largest group is most anticipating getting a flash of Frieda in the mirror. It’s about time we get to see her in anime form after all these years, right? The remaining three scenes are at an even split.

Since we’re getting Frieda in the mirror, do you think there will be a flashback to the conversation about Eren’s experiments?

To build off of the previous question, over half of respondents are anticipating the potential for the bedside flashback to happen after all. 35% are optimistic that it will definitely happen, while 11% believe we’re getting Frieda flash in another way.

I'm hoping the Frieda content doesn't come across as too rushed in the next few episodes. In the manga, almost a year passed between the first Frieda flashbacks and Rod's full story in the chapel underground, but it seems Frieda's anime debut will be only an episode or two before the story. Still looking forward to how it all plays out!

Where do you primarily discuss the series?

Additional thoughts on the episode?

*chanting* STICK! STICK! STICK! STICK!

the changes are fine, doesn't stray too far from the manga. Maybe also makes the anime less of a drag.

Connie had goofy hat. All my stanards has been pleased.

Finally the pacing slowed down to a human level. I'm happy to see so much of Erwin, but it still pains me how he is characterized.

HITCH WITH THE STICK HOLY HELL. Honestly that whole fight scene between Hitch, Marlowe and Jean exceeded my expectations (hopefully not sounding too much like a worshiper). I just love it (probably too much).

Hanji can punch me and I’ll thank her

I MISS EREN AND HISTORIA

I can't believe Flegel sat on the dude's face lol.

Why did Not!-Marco not look like Marco at all?

I don't have a great memory of manga events but I'm feeling shocked - as though the anime is really rushing through events, so I feel worried now!

I love it. The animation when Hanji and Moblit attacked the MP was spectacular. The animators have continuously outdone themselves this season so far.

I'm not sure about my feelings and impressions about this season so far. I got disappointed before with other mangas adaptations, and now, I don't feel like trusting WIT for the moment, until I see some logical modifications.

When it was announced that there would be changes made I was skeptical and thought that the manga was perfect the way it was. Oh boy was I wrong. While I am still angry about some scenes, others just make more sense. I think wit is doing a great job.

Only thing that makes me sad is that Armin's glorious gesumin expressions weren't animated till now.

Honestly so excited to 24 episodes this time not 12. But still proper sick episode.

I've mentioned it on Tumblr before, but while I like how things have been centralized around Trost in this version of Uprising, it does cause an issue. How did Erwin, his captors, and Nile all get from Trost to Mitras in the space of a single morning? They military police either has teleporting tech or an underground bullet train. Or Isayama really wants to replicate S7 of Game of Thrones with characters teleporting all over.

NEXT EPISODE WE’L GET OUR ACKERTALK!!!!!! Eeeeek!!!

No Kenny?! So what kind of episode was that?!

I enjoyed this chapter a lot. Can´t wait to see Eren again.

Well fuck. Manga readers, we know what happens at the reiss chapel

Thank you to everyone who participated! We’ll see you again on Monday!

#snk poll #snk polls #snk spoilers #snk s3 #poll results

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boisheviks · 6 years ago

Note

Do everything that you haven't already done

thanks owobiwan

angel; do you have a nickname? no not rly

awe; how old are you? 18

baby; favorite color? either red or blue

bloop; spirit animal? red panda

blossom; favorite book/movie/song? havent read a book in years, into the spiderverse was a really good movie (just saw it yesterday, 11/10 would recommend PLEASE SEE IT IF YOU HAVENT), tbh idk what my favorite song is but my favorite band is p!atd

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child? hmmm i guess my first major stuffed animal was a bunny. i also had a lot of dogs

bright; mermaids or fairies? both??

bubbles; do you have a best friend? yea (:

buttercup; showers or baths? showers

butterfly; dream destination? japan

buttons; are you religious or spiritual? uhhhh?????? neither???? i guess spiritual if i had to pick

candlelight; what did you dream about last night? i dont remember most of my dreams unless something significant happened so idk

charming; have you ever been in love? nah

cozy; eye/hair color? brown and black respectively

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period? uhhh now i guess? although trump sucks so bad timeline

cupcake; favorite flower/plant? plants that grow fruit

cute; what did you get on your last birthday? iphone x

cutie pie; most precious item you own? my iphone x lol

cutsie; what makes you happy? talking to my friends

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free. when i came home from college for winter break lmao thank god no homework or studying i dont want to go back

daylight; favorite album of all time? oof uhhh i guess the wall by pink floyd

dear; zodiac sign? aries

delightful; concerts or museums? concerts but museums can be cool

dimples; have you ever written a letter? ..yes? lmao

dobby; dream job? something in cybersecurity would be cool

doll; how do you like to dress? tshirt and jeans, with a jacket if its cold

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences? nope

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos? no tattoos and currently not rly interested in getting any anytime soon

euphoric; talk about someone you love. i love my parents theyre great

fairy; do you have a pet? i have a fish!

forever; where do you feel time stop? where…??? idk

froglet; are you a good plant owner? LMAO i was until i forgot about my plant for a solid week. but in my dorm my plant was one of the nicest looking ones so rip plant

garden; how many languages do you know? 2 if u count my horrible chinese that i learned in high school

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice? sunsets and what the sky looks like

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not? sure. i mean i dont rly get any in the first place but lol

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

1. I’m funny (i hope anyways)

2. I’m smart (kinda)

3. I’m strong

4. I’m understanding

5. I’m good at playing music (lol i literally could not think of anything else yikes)

heart; silk or lace? silk

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it? coffee, only if its in the form of a frappuccino

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why? people, mainly bc its funny to watch them sometimes

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep? no sounds in general

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather? sunny

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends? sleep

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more? probably laugh loudly id say

kinky; do you blush easily? i dont think so

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most? to have someone love me (wow i live a sad life)

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad? idk i will listen to the same music no matter how i feel

love; what is your favorite season and why? summer bc no school and its warm

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream? i dont eat macarons much but as for ice cream i guess smores

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks? hmm i guess i like looking at soft pastels but cool darks are also nice

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date? actually going on one haha

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself? sleeping and talking to friends

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life? dont procrastinate for too long (i say as i procrastinate writing thank you cards whoops)

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more? bake

prince; how would you describe your handwriting? ugly but surprisingly legible

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play? yup i play lots

prinky; how do you relieve stress? listening to music

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable? mangoes

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read? tbh i dont even remember the last book i read

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far? this is sad but probably getting into college and going to college

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you? tbh probably getting an internship since i kinda (??) have a guaranteed job once i get out of college as long as i dont mess up so yea knocking on wood rn

shine; art or music? music but i love art as well

smitten; do you collect anything? not really although i used to collect state quarters (now theyre like presidents and important locations or something)

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with? 1 usually but i can also sleep without a pillow

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind? does my phone count

sparkle; do you wear jewelry? yea usually ill wear a watch and a necklace

spooky; sunrise or sunset? sunset, i cant get up for the sunrise anyways

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones? headphones

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child? funny story but i think barney was my favorite show when i was rly young. but then i guess when i got older (elementary school) probably the mythbusters

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house. my desk where my computer is. its often a mess but i spend the most time there

soothe; digital or vinyl? vinyl bc im such a hipster wow i dont even own any vinyl (my dad has a bunch of records tho)

squeezed; who do you miss right now? all my college pals :(

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends? people who will laugh at my awful jokes and will tolerate me and listen to me i guess

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing? aesthetically pleasing who needs things to be practical and useful anyways lol

sweet; do you find it easy to open up? nope lol it be like that sometimes

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any? eh kids are ok but can also be kinda annoying so idk if id ever want any/be fit to have any anyways lol. id probably adopt tho

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they? yup and its the person who gave me all of these to answer smh

tootsie; what kind of friend are you? one who will probably make fun of u too much but will also listen to u when u need it

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl? night owl for sure

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out? depends where “going out” is and with who

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup? nope ive never worn makeup

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person? messy

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star? no, but also i dont rly see shooting stars rip light pollution

#ask

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sonofadeanwinchester · 6 years ago

Text

Someday Darling (Part Thirty)

Summary: Leaving LA to go to New York to spend time with your brother might just be the worst/best decision of your life.

Words: 1438

Student!Sebastian x Reader; Actor!Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: SWEARING; FLUFF

A/N: If you wanna be tagged, don’t be shy and let me know! ;) This one is specially dedicated to my friend @marvelouslyme96 bc she’s having a bad day and she loves this story.

Tags: @221bshrlocked@marvelouslyme96@shellymaesworld@titty-teetee@pawallday@chameerah@buckylicious@nerdywitch@teresaolivia20 @guera31 @i-should-probably-be-asleep-rn@lancetucker@ssweet-empowerment@ijustreallylovezebras@amandarosemire@zainab2 @jhangelface0523@care-bear-girl@parkerrpeterr@bxxbxy@winter–cearig@beccavesper@mrs-meghan-winchester@amren-tiny-ancient-one

The drive to the hospital was a little awkward with all my mothers' questions for Sebastian. She kept asking about his life in Romania, mostly if he could speak the language. He said a phrase in Romanian and she almost went off the road. He laughed nervously and kept glancing up at me. I had my hand around the right side of me, holding his fingers. She asked about any other languages, he said he knew a little German. We arrived in the hospital parking lot, my mother jittering beside me, she linked her arm with mine as my other hand was still locked with Sebastian's.

"Excuse me." A hefty nurse turned towards us with a bit too much makeup, tattooed eyebrows, and wild red hair. My mother eyed her up and down before continuing. "Yes, I am looking for my husband. I think he is in room 581B?"

The nurse clicked her long fake nails along a keyboard, she smiled and smeared lipstick on her yellow teeth. "Yes, honey, follow me."

My mother looked at me and rolled her eyes, disgust filling her eyes. Sebastian just laughed and sat down in the waiting room. I followed my mother into the room, finding my dad still unconscious, but looking so peaceful. My eyes filled with tears, "Daddy."

My mother grabbed my hand, rubbing it. "Daddy is going to be fine. The doctors suspect he will wake up very soon." She sat in the chair next to the bed and gestured for me to sit on the bed. "Doc thinks if you talk to him, he understands and hears you. Makes it coming back a lot easier."

With a shaking hand, I reached for my father's fingers. He was warm, which made me flinch, I guess I expected him to be cold, like a dead body. I grabbed his hand, tight, and sighed, tears falling from my eyes. "Hi daddy, it's me (y/n). I am home for visit from California. So much has changed since high school. Uh," I shook my head, grasping at things to talk about. "Uh, you remember Chris? Yeah, well he and I are no longer together. I know you loved him but this was for the best, I promise. I moved to New York with Penn after the breakup and I met someone very special to me. His name is Sebastian. He is loving, caring, giving, selfless. He reminds me a lot of you daddy." I started sobbing after talking about Sebastian with my father. I pictured my child, going to my father's grave every year, kissing the stone, whispering happy birthdays' or Merry Christmas. "Daddy, I need you to wake up, please. The doctor says you're going to soon, but I can't help but be doubtful. I know you always raised us to be faithful and trust God but I'm scared. Daddy, I need you to come back to me. Be a daddy to me and a grandfather to my baby." I gasped for air between words and tears. "Daddy, I'm pregnant and want you to be here for me, with me. Please."

I caught my mother's eyes, filled to the brim with tears, she smiled shakily. "Sweetheart, your dad is going to be just fine. Now, if you don't mind, I would like some alone time with him, just a few minutes. Ask Sebastian if he would like a drink or food, on me." She handed me a $20 bill. I smiled at her, kissing her cheek and then my father's and walked out of the room.

Sebastian was sitting, legs crossed, reading a carpentry magazine. "Plan on building something?"

I scared him because he jumped, he grabbed his heart. "Shit, you scared me." He laughed and stood, hugging me. "How's everything?"

I sat beside him, head on his shoulder. "Mom wanted some alone time with him so she kicked me out and offered to buy some drinks or whatever." I flashed him the bill. "I talked to him."

He nodded, thoughtfully. "What did you say?"

I shrugged, "I told him about mine and Chris break up, how I moved to New York and met you. How good of a person you are and how important you are to me." He kissed my hair. "Then, I pictured our baby, going to his gravestone every year, telling him about birthday's or Christmas's." I looked and found Sebastian wiping a tear from his blue eyes. "I told him needs to wake up, to be a dad to me and a grandfather to our baby." I wiped loose tears from my eyes.

Sebastian rubbed my back, tears filling his eyes. "I don't speak to my dad, but that's on his part. He didn't and doesn't want anything to do with me but if given the choice, I would fly to where he is right now, and tell him that I wish we could've had a relationship, that I always wanted him at my little league games or when I had a crush on a girl in the second grade."

I kissed his shoulder, "I'm sorry."

He shrugged, "It sucks and I was angry about it for so long, but then I just learned to love my step-dad. He is my father, he is the one who raised me, even though we don't share blood, he's my dad."

I nodded, sighing. "Coffee?"

We were in the waiting room, drinking crappy coffee and talking about baby names when my mother came running out of the room, joy filling her face. "(y/n)! He's awake!"

I stood to my feet, running to the room. I got one look at my dad, wide awake and sitting up, eating jello. "Daddy."

He smiled at me, loving. "Baby girl, welcome back home!"

I ran to him, hugging him tightly. "I'm so happy you're awake!"

He winked at me, "I had to come back after that incredible speech you gave."

I gasped, "you actually heard that?"

He winked again, swallowing a mouthful of red jello. "Every word, sweetie." He looked around the room, confused. "Where's Penn?"

I shrugged, "I have no idea. We dropped him off here before going to mom's and haven't seen him since."

He nodded, "And where is this Sebastian fellow?"

My eyes grew large. "Out ... in the waiting room."

He clucked his tongue, "Tell him to get his butt in here, getting my daughter pregnant. I need to approve before you have this baby." He winked again.

I peeked around the corner, catching Sebastian's eye. He stood and walked briskly to the room. "What?"

I smiled, "Dad wants to meet you."

He breathed out and nodded. He walked into the room, "Sir. Glad to see you're awake."

My dad eyed him up, squinting. "Good lord, you're like a Greek God."

Sebastian's face went deep red. "Uh, thank you?"

Dad nodded, "You're welcome, son. It's a compliment. Lord Almighty, you are one handsome young man. How old are you? Like 27?"

He nodded, looking at me. "Uh, 29 sir."

Dad's eyes widened, "29?. Well, that's two years younger than that other fellow my daughter was dating, Chris was it?" He nodded. "Okay, well, tell me about yourself."

Sebastian looked around and rubbed his palms on his jeans. "Uh, okay. I'm 29, I was born in Romania, moved to Austria when I was 8 and then to New York when I was 12. I am currently in school, the sixth year studying space basically, want to work at NASA someday."

My father nodded, lip puckered, "Good choice. What are your intentions for my little girl?"

His eyes widened, "Sir, I plan on having this baby with her and eventually marrying her. With your blessing of course."

Dad nodded, "There's the baby subject I wanted to get to."

I sucked in a breath and bit my lower lip, "Daddy, list-."

"No, you listen to me. I know in the back of your mind I have already said you're too young, should've waited until marriage speech so I won't repeat myself." We nodded. "Good, so how long have y'all known each other?"

I raised one shoulder, "two months, give or take a few days."

"Oh my good God, two damn months?" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Okay, here's the deal. Sebastian you are not allowed to leave my daughter with this baby, by herself and y'all ain't allowed to get married for another year. If you can survive one more year with each other, I will personally pay for every cent of the wedding." He shot his hands forward, "Deal?"

We both nodded, looking at each other. "Deal."

#someday darling #part thirty #sebastian stan #chris evans #sebastian stan x reader #chris evans x reader #sebastian stan fandom #chris evans fanfiction #sebastian stan fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #reader #marvel #marvel au #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction

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beefybuffybucky · 6 years ago

Text

The Moth and the Flame (Pt. 3)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female!HoH!enhanced!Reader - Avengers x female!HoH!enhanced!Reader - Clint Barton x female!HoH!enhanced!Reader

Summary: Reader is a new member to the Avengers team, and encounters quite a few challenges being the only HoH (hard of hearing) member of the team, but Bucky tries to help. But when Clint comes into the picture, things get more complicated.

Warnings: i suppose a wee, miniscule amount of angst, but there will be a ton more angst soon !!

Word Count: 1.4K

A/N: i’m sick and suffering and have like five fics i’m working on rn but barely found the willpower to finish this one (due in part to mental illness and working a shit ton) so hopefully i can actually finish one and feel good about it for once ?? i’m literally so sorry this part is so shitty

READ PART ONE AND PART TWO HERE!!

The next few days were all training, and no games. Your body ached from the hits, kicks, and pins it had absorbed, and you had blossoming bruises to show it. Natasha truly was relentless.

By dinner, you were so exhausted that you could barely stay awake to eat, let alone go out to get drinks with Clint. While you had been spending time with Clint, signing with him at dinner, and intersecting each other in the hallways, you had hardly seen Bucky, thanks to your insane schedule.

Today, you hadn’t seen Bucky all day, and grabbed your phone from your pocket to text him when instead, you saw a text from Clint.

Drinks?

It had been sent about fifteen minutes ago, and it was only 7p.m. You tap your fingers against the side of your phone as you think.

Sure, you type out. I’ll meet you downstairs in 15.

A small, excited smile pulls at your lips as you nearly jump off the bed and rummage through your drawers, in search of something to wear that would be better than sweaty gym clothes. After pulling on jeans, an old-school band shirt, and a flannel, you pick out some black boots and nearly skip down the hall, giddy with anticipation. As soon as you turn the corner that leads you to the common room, you run straight into Bucky, your breath nearly being knocked out of your chest.

“Sorry, Bucky!” You sign frantically.

“It’s O.K.,” Bucky signs back, a wide, toothy smile pulling at his lips. A light flutter ripples through your heart, moving down slowly through your chest as you watch his smile grow, a captivating sparkle igniting in his eyes. “Where are you going?”

“Your signing is already so good!” You sign enthusiastically, thoroughly impressed by how much he has learned in only a few days time. “I’m going to get drinks with Clint.”

Bucky nods slowly, taking his bottom lip between his teeth. “Have fun,” he signs with a forced, small smile as he continues back down the hall. Your eyes trail him as he goes, a soft sigh tumbling from your lips. You take the elevator down to the main floor and spy Clint waiting for you, casually dressed in a white t-shirt and dark-wash jeans.

You wave to him, smiling widely as you nearly skip over to him.

“You look great!” Clint signs enthusiastically, his expression excited and impressed. A gentle scent of lavender reaches your nose, and his pale blonde hair shines orange in the pale glow of the setting sun.

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” you sign back, chuckling softly. “Ready to go?”

“You took the words right out of my hands,” Clint laughs, his eyes sparkling as he smiles. He opens the door for you and waves you through, making you blush. His hand brushes lightly against yours as you walk out to the garage, hesitantly watching Clint as he chooses a motorcycle.

“Are you sure you know how to ride that?” You sign comically, looking at him with your head tilted.

“Yes,” Clint dramatically rolls his eyes. “Come on,” he signs with a smile spreading across his face. You grin widely, your heart fluttering as you climb onto the back of the bike, slowly wrapping your arms around his chest, the warmth of his body calming your nerves. You nearly squeal as the bike takes off from the garage, silently humming as it speeds down a winding road through a lush, orange forest. You open your eyes all the way and look around you as brilliant oranges, yellows, and reds blur around you, a wild, giddy smile pulling at your lips. Your breath is nearly taken away as the bike bursts out of the forest, leaving it behind as you cross a bridge over a large, sparkling blue river tinted orange by the setting sun.

Clint pulls into a parking spot in front of a small, semi-shady bar and uses his foot to put down the kickstand. After sliding off the bike, he offers you a hand. You take it and swing your leg over to bike, then follow him inside.

Wisps of cigarette smoke and delightful chatter mixing with rowdy laughter drift through the atmosphere, the dim lighting making it hard to clearly see the entire room. Everything happening at once blurs into one dull, loud noise, and anxiety begins to bubble beneath your skin just as Clint pulls out a seat for you at the bar, then sits next to you and digs around in his pocket for something. He holds out his hand to you, and gives you two ear plugs. You take them, looking at him curiously.

“I know being hard of hearing and having all those noises can be annoying,” Clint signs as he explains calmly. “I brought those for you.”

“Thank you,” you sign back, smiling as you put them in your ears, and the instant blockage of the weird noises around you immediately begins to soothe you. Clint asks you what you want, and he tells the bartender for you. Soon after, the bartender slides the drinks down the counter, and you thank her with a soft smile.

“So,” Clint signs after taking a swig of his beer. “Where are you from?”

“I grew up in the Midwest,” you sign calmly after taking the cherry out of your own drink and popping it into your mouth. “Nothing too exciting.”

“Have you always been hard of hearing?” Clint signs, his brows turned downward in curiosity.

“All my life,” you shrug as you sign. “Have you always been deaf?”

“Pretty much,” Clint nods, signing fluidly. “What brings you to the team?”

“Good question,” you smile as you sign. “I can read minds and I’m a pretty decent fighter, if I do say so myself,” you smirk slowly as you joke with him.

“We’ll see about that,” Clint smiles widely as he signs, then drinks more of his beer.

“Is that a challenge?” You retort, signing sternly as you squint at him, smirking softly.

“Absolutely,” Clint laughs, leaning forward in his seat. “So, do you have a family?”

“My dad left when I was really little,” you shrug with one shoulder as you sign, taking a steadying breath. “It’s always just been my mom, me, and my sister.”

“You have a sister?” He asks, his expression pure curiosity. You nod in response before thinking of what to sign back.

“She died a few years ago,” you sign sadly, tears pricking at your eyes as your chest clenches.

“I’m sorry,” Clint signs as his face drops. “I didn’t mean to bring up anything painful like that.”

“It’s not your fault,” you reassure him as your fingers slowly breeze through the air. “We all knew it was her time.” After a few long pauses, you meet his eyes again. “How long have you been on the team?”

“A while,” Clint offers a reassuring smile as he signs back. “They’re basically my family. I’m sure you’ll feel like that soon, too.”

“Everyone feels very welcoming,” you smile at him. “Especially Bucky. He’s even learning sign.”

“He is?” Clint chuckles softly as he signs, a glint of jealousy shining through his darkened eyes. “He never tried for me. You must be special.”

“I guess I am,” you blush as you sign back, hiding your expression behind your glass as you take another sip from your drink, letting your body relax into the buzz of the alcohol. Your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you slip it out to read a message from Bucky on the screen.

I have to ask you something when you get back

You take a soft breath as you text back a quick response and slide the phone back into your pocket.

“Care to dance?” Clint signs after finishing his drink.

“I can’t really tell the difference in vibrations from the people around us and the music, but sure,” you smile goofily as you sign excitedly. Your phone buzzes in your pocket again and you check it.

It’s pretty important

You sigh softly as you send back a simple ‘O.K.’, then put your phone back. You slide off your stool and and follow Clint through the crowd. Your phone buzzes again, but you decide to ignore it, and instead focus on Clint’s dazzling eyes and contagious smile as he spins and dips you, your heart fluttering with every move.

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