#thanks im dead
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PARIS AND HOT AIR BALLOONS!!! HE KNOWS SHE WENT TO HIS HOUSE AFTER THE WRAITH!!!!!! SINCE THE VOLCANO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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@strangeravatar made a great point
i was gonna focus on the spike-hotboxing-celestia aspect but i got distracted somewhere along the way and i think i forgot what joke i was trying to make
but dont you think its interesting how many guards of the exact same color/body type she's managed to accrue?? i do
ooohh you want to go look at our stickers so bad
#conclusion: if one of them smokes weed they BOTH get high#but it's a baby's metabolism vs a sun god's so if CELESTIA is zooted spike is DEAD#i also like to imagine rainbow dash becomes quite the philosopher while under the influence#and yes their bong IS zecoras potion bottle from season 4 episode 1/2 thanks for asking#anyways#this is a long ass comic with. minimal payoff. but we're POSTING IT ANYWAY BABES#i couldnt decide if it would be funnier to have zephyr breeze at the end or one of those regular white blue-haired blue-eyed stock guards#i left it as zephyr. the real ones get it#i guess the real ones are everybody who saw season 9 episode 4#but cmon why ELSE do you think celestia would hire that guy#it's cause she's a freak and im calling her out on my tumblr dot com#mlp#mlp fim#mlp friendship is magic#mlp g4#mlp fanart#princess celestia#princess luna#rainbow dash#fluttershy#spike the dragon#zephyr breeze#horse comic#me art#also that font is one i made based off my own handwriting!! im so happy about it#though it does look. exactly like comic sans#idk how to feel about that tbh#wow you can just talk to yourself in the tags forever and no one will even know huh
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at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
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a tribute to celebrate the finale of the manga that has meant so much to me these past few years
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#nanami kento#ryomen sukuna#toji fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 271#i would tag everyone but ik the most frequented tags in this fandom smh ghsdhfgdfjs#THSI KILLED ME#3 DAYS#IM DEAD DECEASED IN THE GROUND#i knew the minute i drafted the sketch that i would hate myself for it and yeah i was right#but honestly it was worth it it was worth every single hour#i got . lowkey highkey emotional wrapping this up bc like. what a RIDE it's been#ive grown so much since starting drawing fr this series i owe it a lot im so grateful to the things its taught me abt how i like to create#im so grateful fr the people its let me meet#ik it's not over-over and ill be around while the anime catches up but still something abt the manga ending#i'm sentimental u kno?#so i hope that i was able to convey those feelings#to jjk and to every1 who has engaged with my art for it: thank u <3
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#gimmie a second im having a breakdown#making gifs with tears in my eyes nbd#niko sasaki#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives agency#dbda#dbdaedit#dbdedit#dbdagifs#tvedit#im sorry i do not know the goodest tags for this show i did my best#giffed🍂#please use tumblr's gif search feature if you want to put one my gifs in a new post ty#do not repost gifs - reblogs or tumblr gif search feature only thanks!
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they should've hugged!!
#art#mha#bkdk#bakudeku#dynadeku#mha manga spoilers#bnha#listen he saw his friend dead on the ground idk why they arent hugging the shit out of one another out of pure relief they survived the war#i always wanted these two to hug and im sad we'll probably never see that#shout out to queerplatonic bkdk btw#they make me so happy anyways again im so proud of bakugo#thank you mha for carrying me through high school + college :>
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"smaller mass" you say
#she was punted first. the implications of nori still being in the pit when uzi comes down later#long post#i think. does it count if theres a lot of images and they are long#too lazy to draw 4 more lazy backgrounds so just pretend they're falling#or a second cyn. im losing my touch#struggled so hard to draw her.stupid people proportions kinda#go read ad astra per aspera its so good im munching#no like genuinely i love it so much its what got me thinking about this post#not dead just too busy reading ao3 twenty four seven to actually draw anything#art#murder drones#murder drones nori#murder drones cori#i think cori is a really funny name#murder drones cyn#murder drones flesha#cw blood and gore#thanks tumblr user digitalcatastrophes#if only i knew how to animate. not trying my old method again
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Falin
#im in a long art hiatus#idk when ill post somethign more finished#bear with me#and thanks for still following this rather dead art account#dungeon meshi#falin touden
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Pettigrew is stronger than me cause if my animagus was a fucking rat while my friends were a stag, dog and wolf(kinda) respectively I would snap too especially if they called me wormtail
#hot take y’all#ik im right thanks for coming to my ted talk#regulus black#marauders era#marauders era funny#marauders era textpost#harry potter#jegulus#marauders#james potter#starchaser#sunseeker#peter pettigrew#remus lupin#wolfstar#sirius black#dead gay wizards
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So in a lot of fanfics I’ve read Edwin is touch averse to everyone, including Charles, and it’s like “touches like this are rare” blah blah blah (not hating bcs I love them all) but if we look at the show, they casually touch all the time, (they’re obsessed with each other). My absolute favourite scene is in episode one where Charles is trying to teach Edwin boxing and he’s all bouncing around and he does this thing where he mimes drilling into Edwin’s head with a hand drill and Edwin just looks like he’s trying not to smile and lightheartedly shoves him away. Trust me that is not something you do with someone you’re not comfortable touching. Give me Edwin seeking out touch from Charles and he’s so gentle even in his admonishments and it’s not the kind of touch either of them are used to. Give me Charles shying away from Edwin at first because he had to be such a typical boy when he was alive and the only touches with his friends were slaps on the back or punches on his arms, and he wouldn’t dare hurt Edwin because he’s the best person Charles has met. Give me them learning how to touch until it’s so casual they barely notice when Charles swings his legs over Edwin’s on their little sofa, or when Edwin uses a hand on Charles’ back when he’s going past, or when they fumble into each other (because come on they’re lanky teenage boys they don’t have control over their limbs, coming from a lanky teenager) smoothing over the nonexistent pain with their palms.
TLDR: I want more soft DBD fanfics with casual (platonic) touches until it’s not so platonic anymore.
#dead boy detectives#payneland#that is a very apt portmanteau because they send me to pain land#i love them#i’m literally going insane#they make me ill#no im not projecting#but my relationship with touch is very similar to Edwin’s and I want to cry about it thank you very much#I’m aware that this is probably not very coherent#paineland#edwin payne#charles rowland#lgbtq
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'Dead Poets Society' gang
Headcanon that these four drop poetry and literature quotes on their conversations unprompted.
Jason 'English-major-I-only-visit-the-manor-for-the-library' Todd-Wayne
Damian 'I-master-liberal-arts-unlike-you-plebs-PHD-holder' al Ghul-Wayne
Cassandra 'I-learn-English-thru-Shakespeare-as-god-intended' Cain-Wayne
Duke 'only-title-holder-of-vigilante-poet-and-will-cuss-you-just-as-poetically' Thomas-(future) Wayne
#My background is ass#I promise to practice but omg i am losing motivation coz its too ugly#started putting some on coloring that i started being happy about it#But my background is level toddler i hate it#the patience and discipline to make my lines straight and clean is nonexistent gdi...why did past me choose library gdi#Just writing some Duke in my fics and this image of them all just made me wanna do art...Duke is a poet and writes stories u kno?#Duke is not a wayne yet...and is not dead yet...but with how comics goes then its just a matter of time lol#They're all in school here...Cass and Jason are college watching over their juniors in high school#everyone use cardigans but Jason like his leather so no thanks lol#Duke and Cass in outsiders are cute#jason todd#dc comics#damian wayne#fanart#robin#cassandra cain#duke thomas#inking & background study#Damian is now 14!!!! He's getting old...he's like a baby yesterday omg#I need to stop obsessing over this so i posted a WIP so i can continue writing my fic!!! argh#Im gonna watch youtube tutorials again on drawing bookshelves coz i cannot do this without guidance
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Chappell Roan via lucienne’s tour vlog
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needed this on a loop for reasons #2/?
#dead boy detectives#payneland#dbda#dbda gifs#dead boy detective agency#dbda needed this on a loop for reasons series#i am unwell thanks for asking!!!!!!!#THE LITTLE SQUEEZE IM GONNA PASS OUT
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he smiled with his eyes...
#im dead im literally lying dead on the floor rn#dip speaks#dip plays sonic#incoming wall of tags because i think this is extremely important#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#shadow generations#sonic x shadow generations#shadow generations spoilers#sonic x shadow generations spoilers#sxsg#sxsg spoilers#dude the DIFFERENCE that tiny little detail makes!!!!!!!!#i almost didn't recognize him!!!#thank u sega i give you a bow and an applaud
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UH OH 🥵HOE👨🏻🦳BIDEN🍆HAS DROPPED HIS ASS 🍑OUT⬇️🤤OF THE 2024 ERECTION🥺😱😥🗳️🔥 THE PRESI-DICK🫡🇺🇸IS EXPERIENCING😩😲SOME 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 😏HEALTH ISSUES👨⚕️🩺🤒INCLUDING MEM-WHORE-Y LOSS🤔❓CUM-FUSION 😵💫🥛😏 AND DIFFICULTY BREATHING 😮💨🫁 DUE TO COVID SIDE EFF-UCKS😰🦠😷. VICE BITCH IN CHARGE 👩🏽💋🙏COCK-MALA WHOR-ISS💅👮🏽♀️🚔WILL SQUIRT🦪💦IN HIS PLACE 🫦FOR THE UPCUMMING 🗣️ERECTION🍆🍆🍆WILL SHE FINALLY BE THE FIRST SLUT💅 TO CLAP THOSE WHITE HOUSE🏛️ CHEEKS🍑 AND BREAK THE GL-ASS CEILING?🔨 💅OR WILL THE ORANGE TWINK 🍊💁🏼👂EAT OUT😋🍽️THE POLLS?!?!✌️👅💦
#how this message finds me#im too brain dead to properly respond rn but this should be seen#thanks for this contribution#us politics#it’s joever
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