#thanks for the questions pell!

[the-apocrypha]

3, 22, 26?

3. How would you describe your writing style? 

Uh. Functional. Highly functional. Occasionally I strive toward the slightly poetic or prosaic, and I feel like my own tendency toward dry humor will come out from time to time, but otherwise I think it's pretty… basic. 

(The more literary answer is that my style is highly reflective of my history of pretty much only ever writing within the bounds of fanfiction. While there are obviously exceptions, there tends to be a lot of homogeneity amongst fanfiction writing style, for a lot of reasons, including (1) You tend to write what you read, and (2) People generally turn to fanfiction for literary comfort food. While a House of Leaves or an On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous is nice on occasion, we are mostly here to straight torture or sexify or cuddle our blorbos and we don’t want to beat around the bush. It is in no way a bad thing! It’s actually kind of cool, from a literary perspective, because it's genuinely recognizable. Like the Scholomance trilogy! They are good, but you can tell by page two that this person absolutely cut their teeth on fanfiction. So, I am a product of my experiences.)

22. What is it about watching the same two idiots fall in love over and over again? 

See above: comfort food. 

Long answer: for me, I am a person who does not instantly attach to characters. I rarely enter fandoms that are based around a single book or movie, and greatly favor comics/television/series because it lets me spend a lot of time with characters and my affection for them can really take root and grow. Fanfic is just the next natural extension of that. I am very much a person who finds a Happy Button and then wants to mash the Happy Button ad nauseum until it breaks. I listen to the same album on repeat for three months. I just discovered Tim Tams and have bought a box a week for the last four months. And when I settle into a fandom, I want to see my blorbos having nice things over and over and over and over again. :D 

26. What would you describe as OOC?

Oof this is a tough one! I think characterization is such a personal thing that it’s impossible to define that. I definitely have opinions on things that I read, on whether they’re in/out of character, but the beautiful thing about fandom is that we are all casting prisms of the same characters and what is out of character for me may be in character for someone else! So, eh. 

I will say that I feel like any time I start writing for a new fandom, my first fic or two will always feel a little rocky in characterization. Once I’ve written more and developed a more nuanced and consistent concept of the characters, I usually look back on the early stuff and go woof. Sandman has been no exception to this. (Fond wave at fly me to the moon. You’re not completely terrible.)

(for the writers ask meme)

[emil1863]

Here’s a question have you ever drawn Pell or Smoker? I feel like they’d look great in your style!

I know I've drawn Smoker before but Pell was a new one! Thanks for the ask!!!

[andrew-thy-accursed]

hi Andrew !! I have a question about 1995*, how did Pelle feel after he survived? Well, he was going to kill himself completely, but in the end he was able to survive, shouldn't that have hit him even harder? thanks for the answer!

Hiii again!! So right off the bat :

CW for discussion of Self Harm & Suicide



When one attempts suicide of any form, you aren't expecting to live, obviously. Because if you attempt to take your own life there's a lot of shockwaves of different kinds from an attempt. Shame, embarrassment, guilt, etc. (ime)

From my experiences, after an attempt one is more often than not still suicidal; so I'd imagine Pelle is still feeling that way. Pelle is put into a hospital for emergency surgery and once he wakes up he's obviously in bandages; but when he's up and conscious it's confusing. He tried to kill himself, so why is he in the fucking hospital bandaged up? I specifically see him being more upset in his head, but not physically fighting back or showing anything seeming more "empty" than anything else; he just asks for someone else to take his own life again. Pelle's an emotional mess inside but he refuses to let it show, everyone now knows he tried to kill himself so he's embarrassed and also feels guilty because of the "repercussions" of it socially. He won't let Øystein talk to him and refuses to communicate with anyone trying to help him (including his doctors and nurses) after remaining "concerningly calm" for a period of time.

Now I need to do more research on hospitals in the early 90s but even then I imagine they have something akin to current days "suicide watch" when you're in a hospital and actively showing signs of "suicidal ideation"...because of this I feel like Pelle would minimally speak to nurses after slightly warming up, but refuse to speak to his doctor & anyone else. He wants out of that Hospital, so he's not going to make a fuss or get physical or speak because that will just keep him there longer and he knows that.

Since pelle won't let Øystein visit him; Øystein instead decides to write letters to Pelle while he's in the hospital and deliver them to the desk attendant to take to pelle. After a period of time writing letters to him, Pelle finally lets Øystein visit. Seeing Øystein in his room sends him into a silent, very very obvious emotional episode. He's embarrassed and feels guilty that he now has to help him recover but also because he failed...on top of that he can't perform while he's recovering at all which he's afraid that Øystein is going to hate him.

If anything, Øystein's presence is enough to stop him from being suicidal for even a small amount of time.

But yeah, overall he is not doing so great immediately after the attempt and also for quite a few years after. He slowly works to get better, but relapses several times over and over, but he keeps trying to get better for Øystein (because he hasn't learned he needs to heal for himself before he can for anyone else)

Also wanna state : I know I didn't go into too much detail here because in my writings when I post them in the future it's more in depth and clearer. I tend to project a lot of my own experiences with surviving two attempts and a separate psych ward hospitalization onto him; and a lot of it comes out more raw in my writings. I don't see him as someone who presents his emotions too much visually or as someone who openly cries too much. I dunno. I'm rambling at this point lol, words are hard!!

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Hi, I got a request in mind.

Kind of anxious, straight female virgin smut with Pelle/Dead from Lords of Chaos. We are left alone at the house after the other guys decide to go out and we both decide to examine each other’s bodies, because we are both fascinated by the human body. This ends up leading to me wanting to know sex actually feels like, and he decides that could be interesting. Possible blood kink.

Love your blog so much, you're so talented & you're from my homecountry ahhh <3

Blood, Blade and Anxious

warning : smut, some fluff/comfort, blood, blood play/kink, knife play, kissing

Info : Thank you for your kind words dear anon und have spaß beim lesen ;)

masterlist

Disclaimer : I don't want to glorify anything, it's about the actors who play a role, not the real events.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

How did it start? Was it the closing of the main door, the closing of the windows so that the wind couldn't pass through the chilly hut? You two were the only ones left in the house.

The blond looked away at the drawings lying on the floor in front of him and the girl next to him still let her gaze wander through his room, even though she echoed his hands.

The pictures showing different parts of his body, the knife in his hand, there was something inside her that wanted to touch him. Her gaze knew that he was looking at her, that his bright eyes were running over her body, that he wanted what was underneath.

She slowly, almost cautiously, reached her hand out to his, tracing the veins and blood vessels that showed on his pale skin, seeing him tense up, still not used to touching people. But she wouldn't play, she herself could hardly stand contact but with him it was different with Dead.

She wanted to explore his body, to finally pursue her desire for him. ,,Can I kiss you?" suddenly came the question from the blond as he reached out to her, his hand gripping hers and her fear flashed. Despite the fact that they had been together for a while, sex was still something they hadn't needed before, but now. Maybe it was because of the fair in the room, the death, the fact that they were alone or maybe they just wanted each other.

Hesitantly, she nodded and moved closer to him as he pulled her close and kissed her. She tasted the warmth, the life tasting as he began to slide his free hand under her shirt and she pressed herself against him, wanting more and more, this nagging mixed with curiosity for more.

She had heard the others with Dead fucking their girlfriends and now it was time for them both. ,,Let me see you...all of your body...this beauty," he murmured as she saw something flash in his eyes, this morbid fascination for the td as she slowly lay down on the mattress, pulling her shirt up slightly and giving him a glimpse of her upper body due to the summer struggles, she didn't wear a bra that would have only made her sweat more.

But it didn't matter when he turned his gaze to her, she looked like a statue carved out of the hard stone. His cold, pale hands wandered over her body as he caressed her sensitive spots, testing how far he could go as he kissed her again.

Her own urges slowly filled with the desire for something else, her gaze went to the metal that made her abdomen tingle with sweet excitement. Her imagination flashed, a whimper escaped her and Dead paused as he kissed his way down her neck, looking at every little vein, sight and birthmark with morbid fascination.

,,What is it? My heart," he asked, following her gaze, a grin hushcd on his lips and she agreed, her heart beating up to her neck as he finally grasped the weapon and was in front of her as he kissed his way down her body, leaving light bites and placing the knife gently against her stomach.

,,That look...you wanted it all along...to see the blood, didn't you?" he asked, running his tongue over the flat of the knife, feeling her thighs press together as a breathless nod came over her lips.

,,Yes-Yes since I saw you with it...Dead do you want it too?" she asked a hint of fear coming from her a hint of insecurity flashed again that she didn't want him to not share this fanaticism. But when she saw that he kissed her again and felt the warm red stripes on her chest, she gasped into the kiss.

She felt him slowly stroke his middle against her thigh, his arousal fueled by the sounds of her imagination as his tongue traced the lace, praising her when he finally placed the tip against her belly. ,,I'll make you a masterpiece," he whispered as he made the first cut, not too hard to kill her, not too easy not to make it bleed.

It was just right that the little rivulets of blood flowed over her skin, her approval cascading over her lips. She felt his tongue wipe away the blood, he licked at the wound to get more, his muffled moans sending a wave of arousal through her body.

Her hands held onto him lightly as he continued to rub against her. ,,Feels-Feels good," she murmured, feeling him leave more cuts that would become small scars if he wasn't careful. ,,Do you want to... do you want to feel it too?" he asked, pulling her slightly out of the pleasure. As he stood up a little from her, allowing her to sit out, he put the knife in her hand and looked at him.

Saw how he took off his pants and his excitement was clearly visible in his underpants. ,,Here right here do it...let me feel it again please" he murmured and pointed to his pale skin she realized that for others it was cloying but for the two of them it was something else it shcine like a forbidden eroticism. ,,But-but how about the well position," she murmured as he ran his hands over his face and lay down on the mattress and she understood what he wanted.

She gave him the knife again, he stroked himself and she undressed with only the top covering her upper body as she threw her panties down on the mattress and took off the rest of her clothes.

He used his hands to slowly direct her to his bulge. Her center on his ridge, moaning as the two of them escaped, she was wet and the first drops of pleasure had soaked into the fabric of his underwear.

She began to move he helped her with the movement of his hands holding her on his hoscc the look in his blue eyes the lips she kissed earnestly felt the excited twitch of his shwnazes the tingling in her abdomen as she continued to move holding onto him one hand on one breast to support herself before she finally used the knife in the other hand.

,,I'll do-ah I'll do good I'll give you blood" she mumbled gasping for air the lust clouding her mind as she finally applied the knife making the first cut a little deeper than Dead knew he wanted.

That as the blood flowed over his chest and seeped down onto the mattress and she smeared the warm liquid his moans heard the rhythm of his thrusts as he rubbed against her she found her own rhythm. The room flooded with the sounds as he continued to cut her. With each cut he made, she lost herself more and more, surrendering to the pain and blood leaking from the blade and joining him.

The moment when they became too much, the blood that clung to him, that clung to her, the lust became too much as they both moaned and reached their climax.

The knife was dropped the blood on his torso was smeared again as she lay on this light the blonde put his arms around her she held her thanking her for what she had done.

She searched for something until he found the blanket and covered her lightly with it as he gave her another bloody kiss that for the first time tasted not just of love but of bloody lust that now connected them both.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@icarus-star , @ria-coolgirl , @angelsanarchy , @nunezs-stuff , @mimi-kiwi , @oceansrose2002 , @shadows-from-helvete

[anystalker707]

take a look at my girlfriend

Pairing: Nefertari Vivi x [gender-neutral] Reader Summary: SFW and NSFW headcanons about dating Vivi! Tags: very sweet ! / she's so lovely / vague but i can write oneshots if requested

requested by anon ["Could I request a Vivi relationship headcannon both sfw and nsfw for a male S/O Please and thank you"]

MASTERLIST

• Vivi is naturally overly protected, so it takes a while until her family finally accepts you and lets you go around without keeping an eye on you 24/7. She tries her best to reassure you it’s okay; she loves you so much and doesn’t want to see you get scared away just because of it, but you already knew that when you decided to date a princess

• Everyone (Cobra, Chaka, Pell, etc.) asks you a thousand questions, narrowing their eyes at you or side-eyeing you, but it’s just before they treat you like family as well. It also includes getting Karoo’s approval, of course. She’s a little nervous and awkward about it in the beginning, but she ends up getting annoyed after some point because they just don’t seem to accept you’re safe (even if she understands their point)

• Vivi’s a busy person, of course, but that doesn’t mean she won’t try to make time for you—she will make sure to keep free time in her schedule for dates or simply hanging out with you, sharing a meal in the castle, or resting together. She loves sweet dates like going for a walk while holding hands or picnics, so she isn’t exchanging that for anything

• Even if she can’t manage some free time for you, she will make sure to take you with her everywhere (being her partner is a full-time job), whether it’s for emotional support, help, or just to be there with her in general

• It also means you need to know how to fight or just improve what you already know (you need to protect yourself and Vivi), so you’ll have to train hard. It’s tiring and takes a lot of effort, but it’s needed and very rewarding. Vivi will always be waiting for you at the end of the day to say how she’s proud of you, cupping your face and kissing your lips. Sometimes, she lets you know that without saying it—curling up in your arms when she is apprehensive or glancing at you at the slightest risk of danger, showing how much she trusts your protection and cares about you, of course

• Vivi is extremely loving. She will always make sure she is giving you enough attention and love, always give you pecks on the cheek and hugs, even if she’s in a rush for something else because a little second with her partner is never lost

• She is the type to talk problems out, but you have to work for that. She won’t admit things in the beginning, just trying to bottle up feelings and push through the problems, but she will eventually learn how to deal with things better later on because she wants the relationship to be as healthy as possible

• Absolutely loves it when you praise her. Vivi will be all proud and mushy when you compliment her speech or even how nice she looked in some public event. She also loves knowing you enjoy her cuddles and the way she plays with your hair and takes care of you. It makes her proud of herself for being able to care for you in the right way

• Long night talks with Vivi when she finally returns to her bedroom. She will sit on her bed and let you brush her hair or rub her back while she tells you about her day or reasons with you about an ongoing problem

• She just loves the quality time in general, whether it be working alongside each other or playing with her hair while she reads. Either way, she is always melting in your arms whenever she gets the opportunity, clinging to you or sitting on your lap with her arms around your neck

• Matching jewelry with you. She will ask to have jewelry crafted with your initials engraved on the golden surface or keep lockets with pictures of you two inside it

• Vivi is quite possessive, as well. If she spots someone else flirting with you, she knows you won’t give them any attention, but it doesn’t avoid the inconvenience. She will be grabbing your hand and quickly introducing herself as your girlfriend, sticking to your side the whole time. She will be all proud when you wrap an arm around her waist and accept her actions

• Vivi might find it cute when you’re jealous, but seeing you jealous is a rare sight because she just doesn’t give you reasons to feel like that. Someone’s flirting with her? She will either dismiss them or rush to your side

• Vivi will always wear the stuff you give her, whether it is a new pen, a ring, or a hijab (also stick to your opinion about what she should wear). She demonstrates how much she values you by also valuing everything you give her, and also the things that are important to you (catch her making sure she can be there for you in your special moments no matter the appointment she has scheduled for the same time, and she will also ask the others to provide the best things for your needs or your hobbies)

• Supportive girlfriend 100%. Will be there for you no matter what

• Don’t try to decide things for her or anything—Vivi is very independent, and she will learn how to ask for help when she needs to, but the trick is not to make her feel like she isn’t self-sufficient. The mutual respect and recognition are some of the things she values the most

• Either way, Vivi will need support once in a while. She will get in a quieter mood, with a sad or longing expression on her face, and all she will need is long hugs and a comforting presence, not even words. Just looking after her will be just right for Vivi, helping her with whatever she is going through

• She’s not shy to admit she wishes to marry you as it becomes a more frequent subject in the castle, since she’s getting older and is the only heir to the crown. Of course, you’ll get a few side-eyes at first, but it’ll be acceptable; you’re part of the family already, anyway, they trust you

.𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟.

NSFW hcs

• You two probably have your first time with each other, having known each other since you were younger. The first times were laced with nervousness and insecurity, but you learn how to please each other. She’s all shy at first, but once she gets the hang of it…

• Sex with her either is all sweet and passionate love-making or deep into a kink. Vivi is usually the one who brings up new stuff that she is curious about and wants to try, and her favorite stuff usually involves bondage. There’s something about being tied up and to your mercy that turns Vivi on so much. Hands tied to the headboard as you please her or tied behind her back as her face presses to the mattress—she loves all of it

• Balance of dominance between you two, unless you’re doing something that requires the unbalance

• She likes being praised and worshiped, having your hands run along her skin while you bathe her in praises, giving love to each inch of her skin. It makes her melt as her heart flutters, but also makes pride swell in her chest as she offers herself more to you. Kiss her hands, her collarbones, her breasts, her stomach, her thighs, calves, shoulders. Everywhere.

• Vivi enjoys giving as much as she receives, always ensuring you’re okay. If she can, she will pull you down for passionate kisses that aren’t just due to the urgency and seeking pleasure, but just wanting to touch you in general, to express her love through the slow make-out session

• Sometimes all Vivi needs after a long day dealing with Alabasta’s stuff is a relaxing shower and good sleep, but other times, what she really needs is your head between her legs: she also loves receiving and giving oral—she will play with your hair while you eat her out, praising you between moans, making sure to let you know how well you’re doing on pleasing her like that. The most delicious moans will come from her as she arches her back and rolls her hips on your tongue when you’re with her thighs over your shoulders, feasting on her. Sometimes, on the other hand, she will be pulling you with her into empty rooms in the castle to give you a little treat, wide eyes looking up at you as she wraps her lips around you and brushes a strand of hair behind her ear

.𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟.

[darling-i-read-it]

Requested: by anon, Hello hello hello 👋 I just read your new Pelle fic and.. thank you for reviving my Midsommar obsession ❤️ It gave me an idea for a request, too. Something on the creepy vibe (if you're okay with it) with Pelle and a shy reader, like super shy. She can be friends or a sibling of the group (to justify why she's there). He is completely smitten, and she doesn't understand why.

I hope you enjoy love! I hope you don't mind I made it with headcanons, I thought it would flow better. I love doing a subtle creep, the horror fan in my goes wild lol.

You had known grown up as a childhood friend to Mark, which turned into you both going to the same college, which turned into you being friends with his friends

You quickly grown close to Dani, as the only other girl who frequented the boring testosterone filled dinners 

But you had otherwise been friends with all of them, comfortable with being around overnight if you needed to be, to go out drinking and trust them to watch over you if you had a little too much 

Other than that you remained shy and quiet. You had your friends with no real reason as to branch out further than that. You had never been sure if it was a mix of social anxiety or just sheer uninterest but when you were out, you tended to be silent 

The group brought you out of your shell but you had known some of them for years, they had broken down past your walls and been granted access to your personality 

When Pelle came you were unsure how to feel about him

He brought a warm composure with him, as well as a natural need to pry about everyone's lives

You lived in the middle of being unsure with him, never positive if he was too be trusted, never sure if you could believe he was part of the group or not

Pelle on the other hand, was enthralled 

He had never seen someone he so easily wanted to get along with. Was it the challenge of having to get past your natural boundaries? Was it the way your silence indicated a deeper understanding of everything around him? Was it the fact that you were the only person who was suspicious of him, able to see past the expert front he was putting out? 

“She’ll warm up to you,” Mark promised. “She’s just shy. We’ve all known her for like…forever.” Pelle nodded, watching you interact with Dani. You were sitting at the table in the other room. He could only see a sliver of you, a gentle smile and a soft laughter. He ached to make you laugh like that, to make you understand him in the way he wanted to understand you. 

“Yes, yes. I understand being naturally unsure,” Pelle said, though he didn’t mean it. He wished, not for the first time, that he had brought things from home. Things that would loosen you up, things that would get you to talk. 

He truly didn’t think this was wrong. This sinister streak was all he had known. 

“Just don’t take it too personally alright?” Mark asked. He was distracted, on his phone. Pelle looked towards him, watching him. A fool. A natural fool who could never read between the lines. 

“Of course not.” 

Pelle watched you with a natural eagerness, a desire to understand, a desire to completely hold 

He started to do subtle things. Things that you should be able to chalk up to coincidence. Going to the same library as you so that you didn’t have to talk to him but knew he was there. Getting the same coffee order. Always being around when you planned to stop by. 

You wondered if you should consider him a nuisance, stalker or a soulmate. The lines blurred as you saw him more

Finally you started to open up. It was slow. You talked to him, to be polite, but never more than you had to. And then you would answer his questions with longer answers. Then you wouldn’t mind being around him for a longer period of time. 

You couldn’t figure out why he was seemingly so enthralled

“He’s smitten,” Dani explained. She was sitting on the couch beside you, legs up beneath her. You shook your head. 

“He doesn’t even know me,” you argued. She shrugged. 

“I think he knows more than you think. He’s been nice to you right?” You feared that. You feared that he knew more than he was letting on. Something about him said he would observe and absorb. You understood that and you understood how that could be used for less than good reasons. “Just give him a chance. We all like him.” 

“I know, I know. I guess it’s just this gut feeling.” 

It was the pressure from the others that generally sent you into being closer to him. He was so happy to see you more likely to talk to him. You asked him questions about home and he gave you cagey answers. You pressed some of the answers. He never seemed to give you the full picture

He loved that about you

You were smart and you were observant

He was extremely hopeful you would come back home with him. You would see how he lived and you would understand everything. It would all fall into place

Pelle knew how to bide his time and he knew that there was no use in pressuring you. It would undo all of his progress! 

Instead he just let you instinctively become more used to his answers. You would chalk it up to cultural differences. You didn’t want to be rude right? 

He wanted you to be May Queen. He wanted you to stay forever, to be by his side. You would make such a beautiful May Queen, covered in flowers. You would no longer have to hide within yourself. 

“Everyone’s going to Sweden?” you asked. Your voice was always quiet, like you were contemplating staying silent. Pelle nodded. 

“Even Dani, I believe. It’ll be her birthday and she wants to celebrate.” You hardly believed that. Dani surely wanted a distraction from the horrors of her current life. You couldn’t blame her. “You should come. I think you would enjoy my home, as I’ve enjoyed yours.” 

You nodded slowly. You didn’t like long trips, filled with all those new people. It was draining. 

“I’ll have to ask Mark if he thinks I can tag along.” Pelle nodded. 

“I hope you will. It’s beautiful and extremely educational. You might not want to leave.”

[joepelling]

“WHY ARE YOUR TAGS LIKE THAT?” OR: RED GUY DUCK AND YELLOW GUY ARE THE EGO SUPEREGO AND ID TO THE ENLIGHTENED MIND, A MASTERPOST

BASICALLY: the ego, superego, and id are freudian concepts of how the mind works in psychoanalytic theory. i match up the three protagonists of don’t hug me i’m scared with these concepts. here’s my insane person, long-winded explanation as to why.

THE EGO: rational, realistic, practical. the true self, the mediator between the other two. very concerned with self-preservation.

THE SUPEREGO: idealistic, critical, perfectionist. the judge, jury, and executioner.

THE ID: impulsive, childish, emotional. pure desire. associated with sexuality and romance.

the characters have been described by joe pelling as “the middleman” “cynical and fussy” and “optimistic and idiotic” respectively

RED GUY: is CONSTANTLY the mediator between yellow and duck. the only one seen in the “real world,” and the ego is the self presented to the outside world. the “worm in his brain” has to do with outward appearance.

DUCK: famously hostile and judgmental, constantly associated with the military (authority figures), even becomes a dictator in the scrapped pilot. his aggression is often targeted towards yellow, who he deems too emotional and sensitive and deserving of it the most. the “worm in his brain” has to do with morality.

YELLOW GUY: while he is often read as asexual and aromantic (which i agree with!), he has multiple “love interests,” even if none of them are played straight. his brain friends are all very emotional and have nothing resembling a voice of reason, and no way of handling warren (who can be interpreted as an intrusive thought) without enabling him. the “worm in his brain” has to do with relationships.

MISC DYNAMIC THOUGHTS: when yellow claims “grolton is the dog,” red corrects him gently and politely and duck swiftly shuts him down and tells him to shut up (there’s a lot of instances of red gently correcting yellow and duck doing it harshly, but to my memory this is the only time they do it with the exact same thing). during the friendship fight, red implies he’s told duck to stop being so harsh on yellow. duck has to intervene to remove warren (again, here a symbol of intrusive thoughts) as yellow is physically incapable of doing so on his own.

CLOSING THOUGHTS: do i think this theory is the key to understanding what dhmis is about? not at all! i personally believe that dhmis is just made for fun and with no deeper meaning than “becky and joe made something fun to make each other laugh.” do i as a psychology enthusiast think it’s an interesting way to interpret the text? yeah. my theory is flawed, for sure- yellow is concerned with keeping harmony and is usually nonviolent despite the id’s association with aggression, duck is the least likely to go along with the teachers (authority figures, when the superego gets its moral system directly from them), red often doesn’t care about the other two, among other things, but that doesn’t mean it’s not fun for me to think about!

if you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for reading! feel free to ask any questions and i would be very happy to answer them, as i’m very passionate about this theory and love to discuss it. love you!

[loonysama]

20 questions for writers

Thank you for the tag @thebiwifeonao3!

How many works do you have on AO3? 88

What's your total AO3 word count? 1,090,772

What fandoms do you write for? Mostly Frozen (Kristanna, especially), sometimes crossing over with other Disney movies. I've also written 7 fics for Wednesday (TV), and one or two for Good Witch (TV), The Americans, Beetlejuice, and What We Do in the Shadows. Oh, and a fic about the song, "Brandy."

What are your top five fics by kudos?

Woe is Your Master (Wednesday/Tyler, E)

Cat Scratch Fever (Wednesday/Tyler, T)

Woe is Me (Wednesday/Tyler, E)

Sweet Poison (Wednesday/Tyler, T)

Black Lace on Red (Wednesday/Tyler, E)

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, I try to! But to be honest, if I get a super long comment or something that needs a long response, I usually put it off because I want to answer with as much effort as the commenter put into it. So sorry to the people whose comments I haven't responded to. Please know that I read them and loved them and will respond as soon as I collect myself from the puddle on the floor.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I've yet to write anything with an unhappy ending. But the closest I got was The Ice King (Hans/Elsa, E). I can't say because it's a spoiler. Let's just say that everyone got what they wanted, but it didn't work out quite the way it was supposed to.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Everything else? I guess if I have to pick one it's She Holds a Candle (Kristoff/Anna and Stephanie (transfemme Sven)/Ryder). I ended up giving Stephanie and Ryder their own chapter because I loved them so much and just wasn't ready to let them go. So Kristoff and Anna ended up together and then Stephanie and Ryder got married at the end. (Y'all know I love Ryder so much that I named my cat after him.)

8. Do you get hate on fics? I have. Mostly on ffn, so I stopped posting there. And I've gotten a little on AO3, too. Mostly it's been from people who don't know what archive warnings and tags are for, or who have contempt for the characters, ships, fandoms, etc. and haven't even read it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes! Mostly m/f, usually femdom, and sometimes with mild BDSM (mostly bondage)

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I did more when I started out, but I don't do it so much anymore. I guess the craziest was Hans/Elsa in an animated Addams Family fusion AU (The Magenta Cravat, T). At one point I was going to write a WednesdayxFrozen AU where Anna was Wednesday's roommate instead of Enid and Elsa was a teacher at Nevermore. There's also the Frozen/Midsommar AU (Elsa/Pelle) which will never happen either. C'est la vie.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I don't think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes, a couple of my Wednesday fics were translated into Russian!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic? Yes, but it never saw the light of day. It was with a few other Frozen and Beauty and the Beast writers in the Frozen Hearts Will Melt Discord server (DM me if you want an invite).

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? Kristoff/Anna from Frozen.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? All of them? Seriously, though. I've determined that none of my WIPs on AO3 are going to be finished except for Head Over Feet. I'd love to finish The Refugees, All Tied Up, Sophisticated Grace, and Pour Some Sugar on Me, but I don't know if I have it in me. I dunno. Maybe someday.

16. What are your writing strengths? I've been told character dynamics and descriptions of body movements.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Repetitive sentence structure, head hopping. And I have no idea where commas are supposed to go. Every time I think I'm right, my grammar check tells me I'm wrong.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for fic? I generally prefer to write dialogue in English and indicate that it's in another language. I don't want to make the reader do extra work just to find out what happens next. I also want the reader to be in the character's shoes the entire time without even realizing it, and having to read in a language they're not as familiar with can take them out of it. But, at the end of the day, it's a technique and a choice the writer has to make about what's best for the characters and their story.

I wish I knew another language well enough that I could write a whole fic in that language, but alas. I hold writers who write in foreign languages in the highest esteem.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Frozen (Kristoff/Anna)

20. Favourite fic you've written? Pretty Please (Kristoff/Anna, E). I wrote this for @99goosebumps for the 2023 BDSM Exchange. It was so much fun to write, and all the stars aligned with it. Aside from writing some new kinks I loved, I'm really happy with the quality of the fic and I really loved Kristoff and Anna's dynamic in this one. I don't think I've ever gotten it quite as right as I did in that fic. It's definitely not for everyone, but I hope the people who have read it found something they liked there.

Tagging @thefamilybruno @glassslippers-n-cowboyboots @bad-at-names-and-faces @thecassadilla @99goosebumps @paigebstorey @butchbetty! And anyone else who wants to participate.

[boxfullaturtles]

For the fic title game, maybe something like "With Love, from an Alternate Timeline" or something with a fic/album title like "Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge"? Or, finally, maybe funky like "Disaster Twins, Deft Torpedoes"? (Feel free to pick and choose which to answer!)

I like the ring that "With Love, from an Alternate Timeline" has, there's something very catchy about that. Unfortunately, couldn't think of anything.

Also mega distracted by the MCR title.

SO!

"Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge" Otherwise known as "You Kidnapped the Wrong Fucking Turtles"

Leonardo, Raphael, and Michelangelo disappear.

Donatello, Splinter, April, and the Caseys are scrambling to find them.

It had been a regular patrol, the brothers scattering to chase after the stupid mutant silverfish taking advantage of the mess left in the wake of the failed invasion. Except Donnie loses contact with his brothers and the trackers--his trackers--go offline. Donnie knows his tech doesn't just fail like that, no fucking way. Someone's stolen his brothers and he's going to track them down and get them back.

It takes weeks of doing. Maybe several months. Scraping what clues and pieces of information they can. Donnie grits his teeth and enlists the Purple Dragons to assist him (not help, he doesn't need help, thank you very much). Kendra mocks him at first, but then she must see something on his face because she shuts up real quick. The government is the first suspect, because they were definitely poking around a lot during and after the Krang invasion. But nope! The government's not interested in trying to detain the people--mutant or not--who stopped an alien race for taking over the planet with goo and body horror. They'd rather leave the turtles well enough alone (and for the turtles to leave them alone, please, dear god, we can't fight you guys, we leave you alone and you leave us alone, okay). But if the government doesn't have Donnie's brothers, then who does? Baxter Stockboy? Mm, nope, but they do confiscate some high grade military tech from a kid who really shouldn't have it. Meatsweats? Nada. Draxum!? He's offended you would think such a thing. Not because he cares or anything like that. Just. He doesn't have time for that sort of thing anymore, you know.

But Draxum wasn't the only scientist-alchemist-whathaveyou in the Hidden City. And somebody got vveeerrryyyyy interested in the turtles after seeing what they did to stop the Krang. Some yokai has Leo, Raph, and Mikey and has been putting them through their paces. Read: unethical experimentation.

And the family can't just charge in half-cocked, willy-nilly, pell-mell. This yokai has a stronghold, has guards, is just as dangerous as some human facility, if not moreso because of the mystic powers available to them. It's dangerous and downright deadly. It's a stealth mission. So say they manage to sneak in. Then they separate to go their separate ways and Donnie beelines for a server room or file room or whatever. And it's going great! He sneaks in no problem! He finds out where they're keeping his brothers!

And he finds out what's been happening to them.

And he's pissed.

You DO NOT touch his family and you certainly don't do what's been done to his brothers. Donnie will be the first to admit that his morals are somewhat questionable. He knows his science gets a little...mad at times. But never in his life would he do the things that have been done here.

Well. Maybe he'll make an exception. For the yokai that have marked his brother's files with "TERMINATED".

Donnie snaps.

Forget stealth, he's going to raze this place to the ground and scorch the dust and bury the ashes and salt the earth. There will be nothing left when he's done. His Ninpo goes wild, he's tearing the place apart, he's killing indiscriminately, the rage he feels is too big, too much. The fury and desperation he'd felt when he'd flung his drill at the Krang through Mikey's portal to save Leo? That was a fraction of this almighty, crushing anger. Donatello is out of control, he is a beast, he is wild, he is a veritable god of power as he rips the building from its foundations and screams his vengeance upon the fools who thought to cross the Hamato clan. He crushes lives out underfoot and doesn't care about the blood that smears his hands. His weapons are endless, his body is a machine, he is righteous fury and he is light, and life, and fire! He is a god, a dragon, a nuclear warhead.

He is the atom bomb and he will destroy everything in his wake.

The only thing that stops him, is a faint, hoarse, plaintive chirp.

Because there are his brothers. Definitely worse for wear, frightened and hurt, but alive.

The monster eases, Donnie breathes. He staggers over to his family, falls to his knees in front of his brothers, and pulls them into a hug. No one cares about how much blood is on him, on the ground, everywhere. Because they're together again. They're okay.

Donnie doesn't leave them alone for days. He badgers them while they're healing, he sleeps in the med bay, he drops everything to take care of his brothers. His temper feels closer to the surface, like letting his Ninpo rage like a wildfire has irreversibly changed something in him. But he naps next to Raph, he draws with Mikey, he smiles at Leo's stupid puns. (Later, much later, after they witness that temper again almost level a city block, Raph takes Donnie aside and talks to him about how to turn that anger elsewhere.)

There's scars, of course. No one escapes these sorts of things without them. But no one in the Hidden City is ever going to try to touch the Hamato clan, not after this.

Donnie's pretty sure they got the message (and if he stays awake some nights smelling iron and hearing screams and feeling the power simmering just beneath his skin, then he crawls into Leo's bed and they watch stupid videos until they pass out in the early hours of the morning).

[at1nys-blog]

The Prince at sea

Pairing: Akagami no Shanks x Nefertari!Buggy

Summary: Buggy, is Vivi's brother, snd is going to be the next King of Alabastra. But he knows he was not meant to rule a kingdom but to seak adventures at sea

Shanks lived a life filled with adventures and stories to tell but he feels like something is missing

A/N: a friend of mine asked me to write a ff about Shanks and Buggy and remembering I saw a picture where Buggy and Vivi were related i decided to use that idea and write this. Everything is the but: Shanks and Buggy being younger than from the original story; Roger is still alive hence the crew is still there.

Masterlist

It was in moments like those that Buggy thanked his younger self for his curiosity.

Back in the days, when he was still an innocent and naïve boy, he regretted having eaten that devil fruit but now? Now he was excited to use his powers and escape the castle.

The best part of it was being able to deceive Pell, Buggy never thought that being able to tear his body parts into pieces was the best way to escape Pell’s hawk vision, but here he was.

Dressed in all black Buggy scattered his body parts in different directions and once he was safe from preying eyes he walked down to the city.

Even thought the time was late in the night, the prince noticed a few people still out, playing some music while other danced or simply kept conversing. He likes this atmosphere and wished, in different occasions, to be part of that world and not the one he was born into.

Buggy knew it wasn’t his fault, nor was his family’s. Is not like they chose for him to be born in royal family, nor that his spirit was tied to the sea. It happened and that’s all.

Buggy wouldn’t have noticed the time he arrived in front of the tavern if the man behind him didn’t push to get in himself. The prince was only able to see he was wearing a straw hat and the color of his hair: red. Buggy thought of fire burning with brutal force you are drowned into it. That red was so…

-Are you coming inside?-the owner of the straw hat spoke getting his attention. Buggy noticed the guy was holfing the door open for him.

-uhm…yeah.- the prince answered covering at his best the hood of the cape to hide his face. He didn’t recognize the man but that didn’t mean he didn’t recognize the prince. -thanks.- he added entering.

What he found inside was nothing knew but having a first hand experience was a totally different thing.

The music was a mix of what he grew up with and something new, more chaotic. Yeah, chaotic would be the way to describe it for Buggy. It was very chaotic but in a nice way, his ears were not affected by it. In all honesty he liked how the different melody were somehow complementary to each other.

Once again someone pushed him, and once again the prince saw the red hair half hidden by the straw hat. He was intrigued by the guy, who was he? Where is he from? Why is he in Alurna? How long would he stay? Would he be an ally or a foe? Millions of other questions filled Buggy’s head but he didn’t have time to ask all of them. He had to get a room and some supplies for the journey ahead.

-…thank you very much. At the back tor the camel right?- he heard and looking at the waitress behind the counter he saw her nodding with a blush on her face. Was the man that attractive to blush?

-great. My friend here will pay for both.- it took him a second to realize what was happening.

-WHAT?- he turned to face the young woman. -no, we are not friends. I don’t even know the guy. Don’t listen to him.- when he turned to ask the man to apologize for the inconvenient he was already gone. -I guess I have to pay for the both of us.- he scoffed but he knew the waitress wasn’t going to let him go until getting her payment.

Buggy walked upstairs defeated with less than half the money he left with. Yes, he was the prince, and yes he was able to pay for someone else but if asked he didn’t know how to explain that much amount of money.

-…so how much do I own you?-the red hair with the straw hat surprised him.

-let’s see, a room is 6.000 berries for night. Each meal is around 500 berries and 1.500 if take out. So, saying you stay one night, having one service for dinner and breakfast, counting in three take out meals for at least, let say… three days? Yes three days makes nine take out meals your total would be…- before Buggy could come to the total the guy owned him, he reminded the undercover prince for the price of the alcohol and a camel.

-right.- he answered with a roll of his eyes. He didn’t stand the man a single bit, how can women blush at his single words? That was a mystery for later, or never. Buggy didn’t care.

Thinking about the additional fees he decided to overcharge whoever decided to play with him.

-the total would be 280.000 berries.- he smirked. He knew he didn’t have that much money, and he didn’t care as much as he was supposed to. He wanted to play with the red haired man too.

The foreigner checked his pockets and the money sachet and concluded he, indeed, didn’t have the money to pay him back.

-I have 150 berries, is okay?-

-you know what, is okay, keep the money. Good night sir. I might see you for breakfast.- he said and locked himself in the room.

The morning came too early but Buggy couldn’t wait to get to the beach. It had been too long since he went there the last time and it wasn’t to have fun or dreaming about new adventures and islands, it was to welcome to Alabasta a ruler of some kingdom he forgot the name.

-Good morning.- the prince was able to avoid slapping him on the face as an instinct. -so I had all night to think of a way to pay you back.-

Please don’t say in nature. Please don’t say in nature he thought. He had heard some of the women, and men, using it as a way to pay their debts or to get a simple ampoule of spice.

-you see, the universe provided me…-

-STOP IT HERE I DONT WANNA HEAR IT- the prince covered his ears but even like this he could hear the man next to him laughing. He uncovered them slowly, painfully slowly, and looked at the red haired man confused. What was that funny to laugh?

-Oh lord, you should have seen your face. Don’t worry, I was kidding.- he said sanding a wink at Buggy. -on a more serious note. I want to pay you back and I might have found a way since as of now I am out of money.-

-well you still have 150 berries.- looking at the expression he made the prince understood that was a lie. -what is your idea.-

-since is pretty clear to me you can’t defend yourself I will accompany you wherever you are going.-

-is not a long journey and the desert bandits don’t attack in daylight.- he really didn’t want to stay in his company. What if the stranger was to find out his true identity and kidnaps him? He wanted to leave the castle, yes, but not like this.

-Oh come on, I am plenty funny. You could use a laugh every now and then.-

-I said no- he simply replied.

-okay okay, you don’t like a commedian. I know a lot of stories.- he tried but Buggy didn’t care. -I have set sail a lot. I really have stories to tell.-

Now this was something he was interested in. The red haired guy took his silence as a good sign.

-okay, but I have one condition. We don’t ask for names.- that was the only thing that mattered. Not exposing his true identity.

-Can I at least ask to see your face?- silence again.

-Not here.-

Two hours in the desert were starting to take a tool, not on Buggy that for sure. He was used to the heat, it wasn’t anything new.

-You want to stop a little bit?-

-if we do, we become easy targets for the bandits.- the prince thought that was a good idea to teas his new companion.

-Oh my bad, I guess I overestimated you.- that touched an open nerve. The red haired scoffed. Buggy was in wait for an answer, anything, something in him was craving to hear his voice. The man just licked his lower lip for a brief second, which wasn’t unnoticed by the other one. -okay then. But you know I don’t understand why you proposed to protect me if you can’t take a few bandits.- he hoped to get a reaction but once again he failed. No answer, just a click of the tongue.

His mind starter to travel, going places it never went before. Now he understood why women blushed in his presence, he did because it had the same effect on him.

-Okay maybe two minutes. There.- the man pointed at a rock where they could take shelter for a couple of minutes, as promised. The red haired took place in the shadow the rocks casted and took off the cape, using its fabric to create a little of wind. Buggy on the other hand didn’t dismount from his camel. He was fine there. -if you don’t want to draw attention get off that damn animal and come here.- never in his life a commoner, a town folk told him what to do and he did but with him… Buggy felt different, his guts were telling him to listen to that, very attractive, man. His body acted on its own, getting off the camel he walked and once he was protected from the heating sun, took seat next to him.

The read haired kept him words. They stayed there, in silence for only a couple of minutes and then headed once again to their destination. It was only when they went back on tracks that the man asked his first question: where were they headed?

-the bitch side. I used to go there as a kid before my mother died. I want to see it one more time before is too late.- Buggy answered. He wanted to go there before being crowned king, he had to.

-is never too late to see the sea.- inquired the foreigner.

-it is when your job takes away all your free time.-

-what is your job?-

-is complicated. I don’t like to talk about it.-

In between questions, answers, jokes and teasing comments the duo was almost there, Buggy recalled another two or three hours of travel.

Once again the hours were spent talking about nothing much; sometimes they would stop to eat a little bit of what they had with them until they finally saw the sea.

Buggy’s eyes turned into two shining starts, that was clear as water. The red haired smiled, since the first time he met him, he never saw him like that excited to have the sea in front of his eyes.

He wanted to comment on that, tease the younger one a little bit but decided to let him be. He wanted him to enjoy the moment. Sitting on the hot sand, soon to get cold, he kept an eye on him. He looked how he played with the dry sand, taking it in his hand and letting it free a second after, looking how it went back to its place grain by grain.

Looking around the beach the foreigner was surprised to notice the familiarity of that shore. He was sure not far away from where he was standing, Roger had docked the ship.

-OHY SHANKS YOU ARE FINALLY BACK.- someone screaming from behind the trees got the duo’s attention. -We thought you were dead man.- he added.

Looking better from where the voice was coming from Buggy noticed a ship. It wasn’t much noticeable in between the greens of the leaves but he could tell it was a ship, and if it had been docked there it meant one thing.

-you are a pirate?- the question rolled out his tongue so easily.

The pirate tried to find a way to explain himself but he looked more like a fish gasping for water. Buggy felt that behavior was due to the fear of having to escape and never come back so he spoke one more time. -Don’t worry I won’t call you out to the City Watch, trust me.-

The two looked at each other for a couple of seconds but it felt like hours. The sea was not interesting anymore, the red haired’s friend was never there to start with now, it was just the two of them and a promise to not say a word about pirates.

It was just them until…

-Shanks move your ass back on the ship, Roger wants to talk to you.-

-Eye eye coming, just keep an eye on him. I think he is royalty or something like that.- he said in a too loud of a tone.

-I am not.- Buggy screamed, trying to sound confident in his sentence but his voice betrayed him.

-Yeah, whatever makes you sleep at night handsome.- he answered and then turned to his vice captain and asked once again to look out for the guy.

It was when the pirate was out of Buggy’s sight that he went to ask if there was a piece of paper and a pen he could have use. He scribbled something and once it was folded he went inside the little hut and then left to let loose the two animals that walked them there. The pirate watched confused, but if it was true that he was from the royal family he didn’t question his behavior. Who knew what was he going to do if questioned his doings.

-now, can I talk to your captain?- the vice captain nodded, still very much confused but let the boy on board and called for his captain. The owner of the ship came in seconds, followed by Shanks on his left.

-I want to join your crew.- he simply said making everyone laugh.

-fine with me.- answered Shanks the red haired pirate, he remembered how the boy’s eyes sparkled at the sight of the sea and how interested he was when he mentioned his adventures.

The captain laughed some more and then declared he was happy to have a new crew mate.

Vivi Nefertari knew what had to be done, her brother had left clear instructions if he wasn’t to return the next day. She was to tell where he told her he was going; she was going along with the guards and she was to check the hut by the beach. She was the one to find the letter because in Buggy’s eyes she was the perfect ruler for the kingdom and Vivi knew. She knew Buggy was meant for the open sea,for the excitement, the fear of the unknown and why not for the experience of true love.

Buggy never stopped thinking about his old live style, he never stopped thinking about his family but now he had a new one. A one he found by accident thanks to a bold man with hair like fair that now had control over his heart no matter what.

[plusvanity]

Hi!! To start off I love it by the way, your AU, the art is beautiful and I love the way you designed them, I loved the outfit Pelle was wearing when he was holding the glass.

I got some questions about your AU. Does it take place in Transylvania or is it Sweden/Norway? Also, Euro comes from a Hunter line right? Cryptid/Vampire hunters or a regular hunter?

Thank you! Again, I love it so much, I can’t wait to see future art for it with them in different settings and outfits.

This so sweet. You made my day, anon! 💖💖

So, the story starts up in Norway with Mayhem playing as a band. Øystein is not yet aware of vampires and cryptids or anything like this in the beginning.

A lot of things happen and as a repercussion, Pelle decides to 'fake his death/ dissappearance' with a suicide note and then runs off to Transylvania.

In Transylvania, he accidentally meets Varg, who happened to be there (taking inspiration from the place) recording his album Filosofem.

Things happen in Sweden too as Øystein (once embracing his destiny of making his great grandfather proud) goes to find Pelle to hunt him down. Naturally, he thinks that Pelle's not actually dead and the little bitch trys to hide at home.. so, he starts a big adventurous journey from Oslo to Stockholm to Sighişoara ✨️

[nom-nommmm1]

not a question but I just wanted to say I love your Pelle fanfics! I refresh your blog every day to see if there's a new one and then end up reading them again and again ❤️ Keep up the good work darling!

Aww thank you so much anon u got me blushin 🫶

But in all seriousness thank you so so much for the kind words, I appreciate it a lot ♡ - Oli

[andrew-thy-accursed]

Hi Andrew)) I have a few more questions about 1995*. 1. I remember to one of my answers, you said that there would be a EuroFaust in the plot, but would there be a Vargelle? I really don't remember if you mentioned something like that (although I reread your posts quite often), but still. 2. In 1995, how did all their entourage feel about Varg? I remember for sure that many people either condemned or testified against Varg in court after Øystein's murder. thanks in advance for the answer sweetie!~

Hiiii again! I know your ask came before some others, but yes there is some vargelle; although more subtle than others in my story, focuses more on their emotional relationship and how they interact more than 🔞 stuff (unlike how Eurodead is kinda my primary focus of 1995*)

And for 2. pretty much it's remained the same as to how it is now (ie. Bård remaining loyal to Øystein, Fenriz sucking up to Varg, etc.) There's a few who are split on who's side to take of course, but that's also for purpose & because it's also just how I feel it would have been if this had all happened where Pelle & Øystein were alive.

[startseeingstars]

Delicate Destruction - Euronymous (Lords of Chaos)

CH05 🎶 I’ve Been Bored - Superheaven 🎶

I was sweeping behind the counter, headphones on, but one off my ear, humming to myself. The cords dangled into my apron pocket where the cassette player sat.

Hammed was on his break, or in the office out back. The bell above the door rang but I didn't look up. "Be with you in a sec!" I called as I finished sweeping everything into the dust pan.

"Take your time." His voice caught me off guard.

I'm not sure why - he came in regularly. We hadn't spoken about what happened at the party, but things seemed pretty normal between us.

I washed my hands and returned to the counter. He greeted me with a warm smile, undertone of mischief, as always.

"Dolling yourself up for me back there, Peach?" He raised his eyebrow and I pulled a face. Peach was his nickname for me. I had to assume it was because of my hair, but I hadn't asked.

"Yeah, this was the best I could do." I rolled my eyes. My hair was pulled back in a messy bun, loose strands everywhere. My face was breaking out around my chin, and I hadn't bothered to put any makeup on to cover it.

He smiled sweetly at me, and I stared back at him, waiting for him to tell me his order.

It was silent for a few seconds too long. Long enough for me to look away, cheeks red.

He blinked, "Uh.." he mumbled. "Lamb kebab, extra meat. No tomato." I smirked to myself. I could always tell what his order would be.

"Sure thing." He slid the cash across the counter and I reached out for it, still punching numbers into the till. Our hands grazed lightly. It wasn't much, but enough for me to feel heat on my finger tips. I don't know if I imagined it, but it looked like he felt it too - his eyes darted from our fingers to the empty store, looking around.

"Keep the change." He always insisted on that. It wasn't ever much, but the amount he ate here, it would have added up over time.

Time passed and I served a couple more customers, every now and again Øystein would make small talk.

"Have a good one." I handed an order over to a customer and watched her leave. Øystein brought his plate back. He usually left it at the table. Before I could thank him, he was speaking.

"Do you like Pelle?" His voice was deep, and he seemed uncomfortable, like he didn't want to be asking the question. I was surprised at his forwardness.

I shook my head. "Only as a friend." Pelle and I had gotten to know each other more over the past few months since meeting at the party. We weren't close, but we had an unspoken admiration for each other, I thought. We didn't actually talk much. We preferred silence with each other's company. We both enjoyed nature, and had found ourselves lying or sitting amongst the trees in their yard on more than one occasion.

I watched the side of Øysteins lips twitch upward as he fought a smile.

"I was thinking... we could-" the bell above the door rang, but it was quickly drowned out by loud laughter.

Erik, Jørn and a few others walked in. I bit the inside of my cheek, feeling my stomach sink in disappointment.

"There he is!" Jørn exclaimed, slapping Øystein on the back fondly. His eyes met mine briefly, and I could feel his annoyance, seething. He patted the counter once before turning around and joining the others. They greeted me and put in their orders. I spent the next hour wondering if he would ask me whatever it was he was going to. Was he about to ask me on a date? No. I had to shove the idea away - it was absurd.

Erik approached the counter, carrying everyone's plates. He always cleaned up after his friends when they ate here.

"What did Euronymous want?" He glanced back over his shoulder and my eyes followed. Øystein sat with his back mostly to me now. He must've noticed us as he walked in. I shrugged.

"Food." Better he didn't know what I really suspected.

[lords-of-mayhem]

Hey there! Previous anon again lol sorry. Thanks for the advice from before! I really didn’t have specific questions in mind I wanted to ask, but now that it’s on my mind since he is a central character/lead the fanfic, tips on writing Euro? Maybe Ann too?

Sorry for taking so long to answer this! I ended up doing a more comprehensive answer than I initially expected. Also, sorry for not including Ann in this ask. I don't really write her currently, so I didn't have much to say. Here's my tips for writing LOC!Euro.

Keep in mind, these are just my personal interpretations and how I write him. Yours may be completely different. it's just important to find something that works for you.

Also keep in mind this is specifically about the LOC version rather than an irl version.

If there's another specific character anyone would like a list of, please let me know! I originally planned to make this a list of every character.

So, here's my full list of tips and tricks to how to write Euro just like Tumblr user lords-of-mayhem

Major emotion: Conflicted

Conflict is a major emotion that I play off of when it comes to Euro. This comes both internally and externally. He's a character who wants to set himself apart, but also wants to fit into the group. He needs to be seen as a leader and wants to be one, but often doesn't have the tools needed to be one. He also often prioritizes how he's seen in general over how he's seen by those closest to him.

Example: Leading Mayhem on technical ability, but not being great with the emotional aspect. Particularly choosing to use Pelle's death for attention whereas Necro needed him to be more respectful of it. Subsequently, the conflict forcing him to kick Necro out, securing his place as "leader" over "friend."

Euro also deals a lot with external conflict. Varg is the most obvious example, but he also clashes with plenty of other characters especially Necrobutcher.

Euro is a character that often gets defensive when he feels his actions or his intentions are being called into question. He also tends to shut himself off rather than explaining which causes further issues. He tends to be a person that believes, "you should give me the benefit of the doubt" and that it should be enough to clear up any doubts or concerns.

He shuts himself off completely when this happens. He finds it easier to shut someone out and lash out at them rather than allowing himself to feel hurt or to try explaining his feelings/point of view.

Example: Him very specifically going blank faced when Necro calls him out for the necklaces and pictures, kicking Necro out and then acting unaffected when he tells Hellhammer "he's not coming back."

Major traits: Arrogant, intelligent, judgmental, goal-oriented, focused, spiteful.

Major downfall: Bad communicator and poor emotional recognition

A lot of Euro's problems in the film come from not being able to communicate as well as he needs to. There's a lot of things he should say or do that he either doesn't realize or outright cannot say/do. He also tends to show emotions in ways that are not easily recognized and communicates in ways that don't hold the same levity as he needed. Whether he realizes this or not is totally up to interpretation.

Example: Asking Pelle "how are you" in the diner after the show. The words are dismissive and don't seem invested, whether he intends for them to be genuine or not is unclear. It could be that he does actually care and just struggles to show it. He also doesn't ask follow-up questions after Pelle just shakes his head. A charitable interpretation is that he trusts Pelle to open up to him and tell him if something genuinely is wrong. A non-charitable one is that he doesn't care to ask anything further.

General tone of voice and speech:

A lot of Euro's talking is dismissive and evasive. If a question or situation is uncomfortable for him to answer genuinely, he tends to redirect or flat out ignore it. He has a difficult time outright saying something he finds overwhelming or uncomfortable.

Example: Saying "Pelle's gone home" instead of outright saying Pelle had died. Then very casually saying, "no he blew his head off" when asked to clarify.

Example two: When asked "what do you mean it's him" by Necro, he responds "it's him, Dead" refusing to elaborate and letting the dots be connected by Necro instead.

Example three: Necro saying it's wrong and "he was our friend and now he's dead." Euro clearly struggles to accept this, expression staying blank as he says "I don't have any friends." Necro attempts to have a genuine conversation about their collective loss, but Euro may find it easier to put his defenses up and dismiss the idea of being affected. This comes across as uncaring due to the way it's said, but it's not recognized as a defense mechanism in the moment and Euro can't communicate that it is one, though it's unclear if he knows it himself.

He tends to speak sarcastically and without too much seriousness when it comes to topics he doesn't want to address. This could point to him having a hard time being genuine with his feelings, choosing to use a common coping mechanism of refusing to be too serious and thus too vulnerable.

Other facts about his voice and manner of speaking:

Euro is very monotone a lot and relies on dry humor. He's a funny character, but his humor tends to be darker and harder to pick up on at times. This may lead other characters to take him seriously when he doesn't mean for them to. This can lead to further confusion if he also believes they're joking, but they're not.

Example of this manner of speaking: Intro monologue, "grey, boring, and very high suicide rate."

Example two: Intro of him telling Necro "cut him" in a deadly serious tone and handing him a knife before falling to the floor laughing.

Major struggle: The way he is perceived by others

Euro is a character who is deeply insecure, although he may mask it well at times. A lot of him revolves around not caring what others think, but appearances are very important to him. He wants and needs to be seen a certain way, although he will act like he doesn't care if he is. He's a very good example of a character who doesn't care what people think just as long as they're thinking of him in a certain way. He may view it as "not caring what they think" because the way he wants to be perceived isn't the normal way people do and thus, he may feel it "doesn't count as caring."

This may cause further conflict for him because he puts up a defensive barrier around himself. He wants to be seen a certain way, but he doesn't actually feel he IS that way. So when people close to him genuinely view him like that, he's hurt or bothered by it.

Example: Euro saying "people are supposed to think we're fucked in the head" and Necro replying "well, you fucking are."

Prevalent issue: desire to put himself first.

Being self-serving is a large part of Euro's character. Throughout the movie, he tends to look at how a situation can benefit him. He tends to look at the paths and options that will best suit his needs and his desires, even if it isn't for the good of the group. He also tends to view his needs/desires/opinions as the ones that matter most or the only ones that matter.

Example: "You do as I say or you're out of my band."

Example two: Encouraging and/or enabling Pelle's on stage self-harm because it made for a good show.

Example three: Using Pelle's suicide to boost the band's image, even though it's actively and clearly hurting Necro.

Example four: "He had some really bad ideas, but with a little help from me, the end result was true metal."

Example five: (About Varg's song) "I changed it...Because it's better with black."

Example six: Taking credit for Varg's church burning, part one. "He did it. I said we needed promotion and he did it, and I told him to do it. I told him to do it."

Example seven: Taking credit for Varg's church burning, part two. "We've been talking about it for years, I'm glad you got inspired. We finally did it."

Overlooked major conflict point with Varg: the same things being met with different reactions

A major conflict between Varg and Euro is Varg feeling like they're the same person in many ways, yet they're met with very different reactions. Depending on the interpretation, they may be the same person in these ways or there may be differences Varg misses.

Euro and Varg echo a lot of the same sentiments. However, they're received in very different ways. This could be hypocrisy from the group or it could simply be that Euro is more well-liked, so his opinions come across better and are received more charitably. Varg may often see it as a personal slight, an attack on him, whereas it could just be that Euro is better at getting his point across. Euro is confident and sure of himself in a way Varg isn't. Euro is also well-established in the group whereas Varg is new and obviously fighting for his seat at the table.

Example: Euro saying he was sick of all the life bands that just wanted to party and the crowd responding well to it versus Varg saying he was sick of all the posers who just wanted to drink beer and have fun and the crowd staring blankly/Euro laughing. Euro says his speech casually and while everyone is riled up from a show. Varg says his in a way that can be interpreted as very desperate for acceptance.

Possible mental illness diagnosis: Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

PTSD seems to be a very obvious diagnosis for him, particularly from the death of Pelle and being the one to find his body.

We see him having flashbacks to Pelle, including one where he spaces out on the phone and cries looking at Pelle's photograph.

We see him have multiple flashbacks throughout the movie and "nightmares" surrounding him.

We also see Euro memorialize Pelle in incredibly graphic and triggering ways such as keeping his picture in his office and the skull necklaces.

It's not difficult to imagine he has PTSD from this incident and this is made only worse by not seeing a professional about this. He's also surrounded by people who feed into this issue, either not seeing it as a problem or seeing it as an issue and being pushed away because it's addressed in a way that isn't easy to deal with.

Example: Hellhammer laughing at the necklaces and cannibalism suggestion whereas Necro calling Euro sick/fucked in the head and being kicked from the band.

Major problem: Yes men

Euro tends to surround himself with yes men, people who agree with him at every stop. This is damaging because it keeps him from being aware of his own flaws. Like with Necro, he tends to push away people who don't agree with him. He isn't self-aware of it, but it is pointed out clearly in the movie. He tends to get very comfortable in his position, failing to realize how bad things truly are or can become. This comes from his own arrogance which is then reinforced by the people around him.

Example: "I was building my own empire. Everything that happened made me immune to reality. I had no more limitations. I could do whatever the fuck I wanted. Nothing could stop me."

Euro loves building community (the black circle), but he looks to this community to be supportive even when they should not be.

Reaction to confrontation: deflection.

Euro doesn't tend to react to conflict or confrontation directly. Instead, he changes what the problem is about or shuts it down completely.

Example of shutting conflict down: Telling Necro he's out of the band instead of having a conversation.

Example of deflecting: Putting the blame on Varg when Varg is first in his record shop. "Why do you sell this shit? I thought this place was true metal. Where is it then (unique music)?" and Euro putting the blame on Varg. "I have shit no one else does, just not for posers. If you know it, you'll find it."

Euro doesn't answer the questions themselves, instead assuring he does have it and if Varg thinks he doesn't then it's an issue with him instead. Like this, Euro can't be seen as the one "losing" this issue. Either Varg finds things he considers true metal and it proves that Euro was right or he doesn't find it and Euro can dismiss it as Varg simply being a poser.

How he interacts: methodically, but short-sighted.

A lot of Euro's reactions and interactions stem from how he's perceived and his own insecurities. To best demonstrate this, I think it's good to write from his perspective. He has a lot of internal dialogue and tends to go with whatever will help most in the moment rather than long-term. His reactions tend to be impulsive and he tends to do whatever he needs to in order to get what he wants in the moment.

Things he dislikes but needs: conflict and accountability.

Euro doesn't enjoy being confronted by someone, especially when they refuse to let go of the topic at hand. He can do a lot of things he needs to take responsibility for, but often needs someone else to force him to. If your story focuses on growth, I'd recommend considering having an outside person forcing Euro into that change. His growth rarely comes without an external factor forcing it.

He also benefits from having someone instinctively recognize his thoughts and feelings rather than opening up about them. This makes him a good match for a counterpart who is observant and can read him easily.

Words he struggles with and how he says them instead: "I'm sorry" / "I was wrong."

Euro is a very proud character who can't handle being wrong or messing up. He has a difficult time saying this outright. Instead, he opts to fixing the situation and hoping the person recognizes what he's trying to say.

Side notes:

Euro tends to get uncomfortable very easily. Some good ways to show this include going quiet and looking around instead of at the person/thing causing that feeling.

Euro is very dedicated to things he cares about. This is evident with how much he cares about his vision for the band and also getting a pet bird which is a very long-term and very high-maintenance pet.

Euro is very prone to jealousy and will tend to either shut down or lash out because of it.

Euro is bad at recognizing other people's emotions, but he's also very bad at recognizing his own. This could be caused by his own repression and fear of feeling/being vulnerable.

Euro can be highly manipulative, whether this is on purpose or not depends on the situation and the interpretation of it. It's entirely possible he doesn't recognize this trait in himself or that he justifies it by saying his own needs are worth manipulating someone to get them. He can justify hurting or using someone easily by saying it will be worth it.

Euro uses a lot of body language and especially facial expressions to convey his point. At times, his body language and facial expressions may even betray what he's saying. He may say one thing, but it's obvious he means another and he can't help it. Big examples: eye rolling, scoffing, leaning away/towards someone, staring someone down, expression dropping quickly into a blank one.

Euro tends to view criticism of his actions as an attack on him as a whole. He can't separate himself from some of his actions. (Example: someone saying "this thing you did was bad" and him hearing it as "you are a bad person.") This black and white thinking extends to other people too. He has a hard time seeing someone's flaws and not letting it paint them as an entirely bad person in his mind.

Euro has a difficult time letting go of the past. A fun thing to explore may be him imagining scenarios where he did something different and how things might have turned out for him that way.

[child0feden]

i feel that you and pelle have similar souls i can picture you two getting along and understanding each other

୨୧ oh wow, thank you! this might just be one of the best compliments, or observations, i’ve ever received lolol!

i’m glad you think that, i dislike thinking super highly or anything like that about myself but i really do find myself relating to pelle quite a lot when it comes to personality and opinions on things… had i ever met him, i like to think that we would have been good friends or at least rememberable acquaintances… i may talk quite a lot on here and in messages but in person, i’m a very socially anxious and quiet person until you unlock my nerdy side, then i find it hard to shut up about my hobbies and interests, i always feel strangely scared after rambling, i guess afraid of scaring people off with my interests

strangely, or maybe not so strangely, i think a lot about pelle when listening to ambient music… i’m aware he wasn’t all that open to many other genres of music but i like to think had he ever listened to some ambient works, especially dark ambient, he would’ve liked that a whole lot… i used to burn ambient CDs for my cousin when introducing him to the genre, i like to think pelle would appreciate someone doing such a thing for him

my mother says a lot of the same, whenever i talk to her about pelle, she believes he would’ve liked me but then again, she is my mother after all lolol! but i do believe it sometimes, just sometimes…

for some reason she also thinks i would’ve worked best with faust, she thinks he seemed a little shy and stuff but passionate, like me hehe! i love when you guys ask about me and give your opinions on me, it’s been so long since anyone really has so your personal questions and opinions are always welcome in my ask box <3