#thanks for following me Melvin

[batbeastie]

One thing I love about Bruce in this AU is just the absolute isolation he’s forced himself into. Before he has Robin especially, the people who really know him are Alfred and that is IT. He cannot go outside during daylight hours. He cannot talk to anyone. He cannot let himself be seen or understood or even comprehended. He made himself into a gun and he cannot be anything else. Other than Alfred, his only real communication is talking to himself. All his windows are drawn constantly so people cannot peek into the massive tower he lives in with a done or something and discover what he really is. Because they would never understand. They would be afraid. And they should. He is fear. He is vengeance. He is the night.

[ofstoriesandstardust]

steady love (j.h.s.)

a/n: loosely based on real events... thanks to @cottagecorifor indulging me

summary: You think someone is following you home, so naturally, you call Jake.

second star to the right (and straight on 'til morning)

warnings: reader thinks someone is following her but is never in any real danger, swearing, unedited

word count: 1.1k

“There now, steady love, so few come and don’t go/will you, won’t you, be the one i’ll always know?”

You swallow as you glance behind you, the shadowy figure still maintaining a good distance behind you. You clutch your pepper spray together, before fishing your phone out of your jacket pocket. 

The cold San Diego air nips at your fingers as curse silently, dialing Jake’s number and pressing the phone up to your ear. He answers on the third ring even though you’ve already started chewing on your lip. 

You can hear music in the background and Natasha’s laughter in the background. He must be having dinner with Javy and Nat, something you feel a momentary twinge of guilt for interrupting. 

“Hey sweetheart, how’s it going?” He says, a smile clear in his voice. 

“Jake-” You say, twisting back around to see if the man behind you had gotten any closer. You can’t be sure but you think he is. “Hey, I think I’m being followed, can you please just stay on the phone with me until I get to my apartment?” 

There’s a skidding of a chair in the background as his voice turns hard. “Where are you right now? Are you in your car or did you take the bus?”

You swallow. “I’m walking back from the bus stop. I’m like a block from the intersection of Rosewood and Melvin. I’m not far from my apartment building at all.” 

You think you hear keys jingling in the background with the sound of a front door opening. There’s a few seconds of silence that feel like minutes as you hear Jake get in his truck and start the engine. “Okay sweetheart, I want you to try and make it to the intersection. You can try and lose him at the crosswalk.” 

“I don’t even know if this guy is following me.” You mutter, suddenly feeling slightly stupid. 

“That doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re alone and it’s dark and you don’t feel safe.” 

You eye the nearing intersection with nerves growing in your stomach. It’s more well-lit than the rest of the road but you also have nowhere to go if this guy really did want to hurt you. 

“I should’ve called Bradley and have him meet me halfway. Hey Jake- I’m gonna call you once I get back to my apartment, I’m gonna call Bradley.” 

“You’re high if you think I’m letting you get off the phone right now, sweetheart.” Jake’s voice is firm, hard and cold, and you swallow the sting of the fact that Jake is mad at you. 

“Jake, really, I think I’m being overdramatic, it’s fine-” 

“I texted Bradshaw when I left my house, he’s going to meet you at the intersection. Do not hang up the phone until you’re with him, do you understand me?” 

“Yeah, yeah, okay I see him. I’m at the light now.” 

“Great. I want you to tell me if you want pepperoni pizza if he’s still behind you, cheese for no.” 

You glance next to you as you press the button for the crosswalk, unable to keep in the startled gasp at the fact that the man was right behind you. 

“Sweetheart?” 

You swallow as the man gives you a curious glance before pressing the button for the opposite crosswalk. The light goes green and he begins his walk away from you. 

“Hey, sweetheart, can you hear me? Are you there?” 

There's a desperate note in his voice as you swallow again, eyes flickering across the street as you see Bradley’s broad figure come into the light. 

“Yeah, I’m- I’m fine Jake. He was just right behind me but he’s gone now.” 

“What? Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Hey, I’m crossing the street now, I see Bradley, I’ll call you in like ten minutes.”

“I’d really prefer you stay on the phone with me.” 

“He wasn’t even following me Jake, he was just some man going for a walk.” You snap, walking across the street to where Bradley is waiting. “I’ll call you when I get back to my place.”  

You hang up the phone as you jog the last few steps up to Bradley, finally letting yourself breathe. His eyes skim over you before the area around you. 

“Are you good? Do we need to take a few laps around the block?” 

You shake your head as the two of you begin to walk back to your building. “Fine. The guy wasn’t even following me, I just think he got off at my stop.” 

“You don’t usually come this way.” Bradley comments as the two of you walk. 

“Yeah.” You let out a huffed laugh. “A car drove into the side of the bus as it was letting me off.”  

Bradley’s eyes grow wide. “Are you being serious?” 

“Yep. Pretty sure that guy was on the bus and just managed to get a headstart to the next stop on everyone. Dude’s a fucking fast-walker.” 

“Sorry.” Bradley says, waving a hand. “The car hit your bus?”

-

You’re settled on Bradley’s couch, recounting the story to Bob and Mickey and Bradley’s girlfriend Jordan, a slice of pizza in your hand when Jake opens the front door rather abruptly. You barely have time to hand the plate off to Bob before Jake is pulling you off the couch and into his arms. 

“Jake-” 

“What the fuck, dude. Do you know how scary it was to get that call?” 

Jake briefly pulls back, eyes scanning over you, before he wraps you in another tight hug. You swallow as his hand comes to rest on the back of your head.

The two of you stand there for what is starting to feel like an embarrassing amount of time when you hear Jake whisper, “I just got you. I can’t lose you yet.” 

The words are so quiet you almost don’t think he even realizes he said them out loud. Guilt prickles at you again. 

“Are you mad at me?” 

“Mad at you?” 

He still won’t let you go but you can picture how big and wide his eyes are. 

“Well, I know you always hate it when I take the bus but I can’t be asking you for rides every time I have to leave the house just because I don’t want to spend money on gas-” 

“Sweetheart, yes I would prefer it if you stop taking the bus. But, you- you can’t be responsible for some sleazeball following you home.” 

“Well, he wasn’t really following me. I just sort of panicked.” You say sheepishly.

“Watching your bus get hit by a car will make you all kinds of shaken up.” Bradley comments, grin clear in his voice. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Jake says, glancing at Bradley before looking back at you. “What the fuck is he talking about?”

[april-is]

April 19, 2024: Dear Proofreader, David Hernandez

Dear Proofreader David Hernandez You’re right. I meant “midst,” not “mist.” I don’t know what I was stinking, I mean thinking, soap speaks intimately to my skin every day. Most days. Depending if darkness has risen to my skull like smoke up a chimney floe. Flue. Then no stepping nude into the shower, no mist turning the bathroom mirror into frosted glass where my face would float coldly in the oval. Picture a caveman encased in ice. Good. I like how your mind works, how your eyes inside your mind works, and your actual eyes reading this, their icy precision, nothing slips by them. Even now I can feel you hovering silently above these lines, hawkish, Godlike, each period a lone figure kneeling in the snow. That’s too solemn. I would like to send search parties and rescue choppers to every period ever printed. I would like to apologize to my wife for not showering on Monday and Tuesday. I was stinking. I was simultaneously numb and needled with anxiety, in the midst of a depressive episode. Although “mist” would work too, metaphorically speaking, in the mist of, in the fog of, this gray haze that followed me relentlessly from room to room until every red bell inside my head was wrong. Rung.

--

Today in:

2023: The Socks, Jane Kenyon 2022: Ode to Friendship, Noor Hindi 2021: Heartbeats, Melvin Dixon 2020: Sunday Night, Raymond Carver 2019: Virginia Street, Jennifer Hayashida 2018: What Seems Like Joy, Kaveh Akbar 2017: Aunties, Kevin Young 2016: For the Union Dead, Robert Lowell 2015: The Cambridge Afternoon Was Gray, Alicia Ostriker 2014: Spirit of the Bat, Peggy Shumaker 2013: Thanks, W. S. Merwin 2012: Sweetness, Stephen Dunn 2011: I Remember, Anne Sexton 2010: Letter, Franz Wright 2009: 23rd Street Runs Into Heaven, Kenneth Patchen 2008: HOUSEHOLD ACTIVITY NO. 26, J.R. Quackenbush 2007: from Briggflatts, Basil Bunting 2006: The Chores, Frannie Lindsay 2005: Direct Address, Joan Larkin

[ethanthespookymonth]

The Lorax Creepypasta

Hey guys! What a lovely morning for a Creepypasta, isn't it? This is my Lorax Creepypasta, and I hope you guys enjoy!

“Alright! I’m off to sell my thneeds!” I say as I throw the thneed into the wagon. “Well just remember Oncie,” mom begins to say. “If your creation isn’t a success- Well I wouldn’t be surprised at all!” “Wow, thanks,” I mutter to myself. I leave and begin my adventure to find a place. I end up in a forest full of fluffy trees. They were called the truffula trees. “This is the place! This is it, Melvine!” I say excitedly. Not even halfway through the day, I cut down one of the trees. It starts to get windy and dark out, like a storm was forming. A small creature, the color orange appears before me. He sees the tree that I had just cut down and looks at me. “Did you chop down this tree?” “No!” I say. I drop the ax on a small bear looking creature. “I think he did it.” Then the small creature looks at me in disgust. “I am the Lorax and I speak for the trees. And if you don’t leave before the sun rises tomorrow morning, all forces of nature will haunt you. You have been warned.” But I didn’t know that the warning actually had some very horrible consequences.

I go to bed. “Boy, what a day. That Lorax guy is bad news.” I close my eyes and fall asleep. It’s been a couple hours, and I suddenly feel cold water on my face. I snap awake. “What’s going on?” I look around. I’m in my bed floating in the river heading towards a waterfall. “Oh shit…” The Lorax and some other creatures helped me before PipSqueak drowned. “I just gave you a warning. Please understand the next consequence won't be as easy as this one.” “I swear to never chop another tree down.” The next day I get ready to sell my thneeds. Of course no one appreciates it, and I give up. After a couple days, a large mob of people arrive in the forest asking for more of them. That’s how my factory started up. Let's get going through the story.

The factory had closed down due to there being no trees. It’s dark and super cloudy. Can’t even see the sky or the sun. I look around and see the Lorax. “I told you this would happen,” he says as he puts a rock down that says unless. “Now they all have to go find a new place to stay.” The Lorax then disappears. “What have I done?” I ask myself. I feel ashamed. I feel angry and upset. I feel… sick? I feel something coming up from my stomach. I put my hands up to my mouth and cough up a rose. There’s blood all over my hands, and vines start to cover my body. “WHAT’S HAPPENING TO ME?!” I scream in pain. This can’t be happening to me! Is this what the Lorax meant by the forces of nature haunting me? Did he curse me to become a plant? I feel another rose coming up and lean against one of the factory's walls. Another rose flying out of my mouth. “HELP ME!!!” I scream as the roses and vines grow onto my body. I can feel my eyes glowing and look in the mirror. My eyes are now glowing a bright green. My skin is bleeding from the thorns, and I fall to the ground. It’s too much… 

I wake up and I go to the town close by. I’m holding my ax. “Where is that bastard…?” I say in a harsh raspy voice. “I’m going to kill him for doing this to me…” It’s early, so the sun is just coming up. People are just starting to wake up and go outside. “Mama that man is hurt!” a  child says and points at me. I look at her and spread a wide grin on my face. “Honey, stay away from him… I don’t like the way he looks…” I grit my teeth. “This was never my fault!” I yell and swing my ax at the woman. It hits her in the neck, decapitating her. The child screams and runs inside. A man comes up behind me with a gun. I turn my head to face him. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you…” I say grinning very widely. “I won’t let you hurt anyone else you crazy son of a bitch!” The man says and puts the gun to my head. I raise my hand as vines grow around the gun breaking it. “H-how is that possible?” The man runs. “Very brave,” I say and follow him. He runs to an ally and I come up behind him. “How bad can I possibly be…?”

[luverofralts]

Arkhelios Adventures

A tense poker game was ongoing in the former Sedona Palace, now officially fully in service to Pleasantview's monarch. Claudia preferred to stay in her own palace or her newest property in Crystal Cove, so she'd granted her little brother, Oliver, full use of the property. He and some college friends lived there, as none of them had any romantic partners or ambitions of their own. It was good to have respectable tennents living on the property to ensure its upkeep and security, and truthfully, Claudia often worried about her brother. He didn't apply himself at university, and he didn't seem to have any interest in dating anyone.

Normally, she'd stay out of her brother's love life, but Claudia was unmarried with only one heir. If anything happened to her before marrying Miruna, Oliver could be asked to make an heir of his own to keep the throne in their bloodline. She would die before she let anything happen to Victoriana, but considering her cousin's recent loss, Claudia couldn't afford to take chances.

She found her brother attempting to play the antique piano that had been left on the property, absolutely ruining what could have been a beautiful melody.

"Oh my god, did you actually try to learn piano when Mom and Dad paid for all those lessons? You're terrible."

"Hello to you too, Your Majesty."

Oliver stood up from the piano and wrapped his arms around his sister with a surprised hug.

"I trust that the property is suitable for you and your friends. We have more renovations coming next month, but they shouldn't be too invasive."

Even if the renovations were extensive, Oliver was still living rent free in a historic castle instead of a dorm, so he really couldn't complain to her. His friends Mark Mishra, Cain Rivales, Melvin Jr Hydes, and Ben Goss were well behaved and responsible tenants. Claudia would much rather house her brother than have the castle sit empty.

"So what brings you by? Making sure none of us have broken the expensive looking busts in the hallway? You never drop by unless you need something."

Claudia frowned.

"I don't visit you just to ask for your help," she protested. "Can't I just spend time with my little brother without a secret motive?"

"So you're here to ask for help on behalf of Mom and Dad," Oliver decided, shooting his sister an irritating grin. "Probably Mom, since she's the one who always worries about me. You're Dad's favourite, and I'm Mom's constant worry. 'When are you going to find a nice man or woman to settle down with, Oliver?', 'When are you going to apply yourself in school, Oliver?', 'You never call your parents, Oliver'. Thank god she seems to be obsessed with worrying about Travis these days. If he weren't so anti-social, I might have to avoid family dinners just to escape Mom."

"You're just a brat, Ollie. You don't apply yourself in school or call Mom and Dad. Try running a country as large and as old as Pleasantview for just an hour. You'd come running back to me in fifteen minutes."

"Yes, poor Claudia. However does she manage her luxurious life without keeling over? It must be so terrible to be queen. Mom and Dad never pester you."

Claudia burst out laughing before she could stop herself. She punched her little brother's arm playfully, just as they did when they were kids.

"Yeah, right! You know how badly Mom bothers you? She grills my secretary about all of my plans when I don't answer her calls. She has to make sure that I'm not 'following the dark path of our ancestors'. Like, she honestly believes I might just start executing people for fun because my breakfast was late. At least she's not accusing you of being a step away from mass murder."

Oliver grinned a wicked grin.

"Well, that settles it then. You let me be king for a week, and I'll show Mom that I can apply myself by committing as many war crimes as I can. No, I'll conquer Crystal Cove, and you can sit in the islands drinking and being as non evil as you can. Then we'll switch back and Mom can't say that she was right about either one of us. It's perfect."

"Don't forget Travis," Claudia laughed. "If he helps you, maybe Mom will let him read quietly in the corner without bothering him in the future."

The siblings exchanged playful punches as their ideas grew wilder.

"Let's use a spirit board and ask Grandma why Mom's the way she is."

"No, we contact the Grim Reaper and ask that she gets transferred to somewhere far away. You're the queen, I'm sure he'd listen to you."

"We contact Grandpa Vrai and tell him she needs emotional support from her father because she feels inferior to the living child he raised. That man will spend the rest of his life bothering her like she does to us."

"Devious. You may actually be evil after all, sis."

"This place has a pool table, right? And a fully stocked bar? I could use a drink before we accidently summon Mom here to nag at us."

Claudia surveyed the pool table carefully. She wasn't the best at pool, and it seemed to be one of the few things that Oliver cared about. She was losing badly, though she refused to acknowledge it.

"So why are you really here? Besides wanting to bitch about Mom? I'm sure the queen of Pleasantview has better things to do than daydrink with her little brother."

Claudia sighed.

"Look, I need a favour from you," she admitted. Two glasses of wine had finally loosened her tongue enough to reveal why she'd visited Oliver. "I need you to date someone."

Oliver scoffed in disbelief.

"So you complain about Mom controlling our lives and then come here to try to control mine too? I'm not having an arranged marriage so that you can get some land or military out of it. I didn't realize that you were such a hypocrite."

"I'm not!" Claudia replied defensively. "I don't need you to marry anyone. Just to date someone. Maybe make an heir for the line of succession."

"How is that better than an arranged marriage? Do you even hear yourself? I'm not ready to be a father, and even if I was, I wouldn't have a kid just to make you an heir. You're about to get married, make your own. Any kid of mine would be knocked out of the succession anyway when you and Miruna have kids."

"Look, don't think about it as an arranged marriage," Claudia said quickly. "Think of it as a blind date, one that it's okay if you accidentally knock up. Or don't knock him up, it doesn't matter as long as he's not single."

Oliver paused from lining up his next shot to stare incredulously at his sister. Claudia realized that she'd slipped up the instant the words left her mouth, but there was no taking them back. Put her up against a god or a rival monarch and she wouldn't even break a sweat. Give her several glasses of wine and the playful brother she'd always let her guard down for, and apparently, she'd be a mess.

"Claudia, what aren't you telling me? What trouble have you gotten yourself into? You're not back with Victoriana's father again, are you? The man's married! I'm not seducing his husband so that you can break up their relationship."

"I would never break up someone's marriage to get Roman Bellamy back," Claudia hissed, looking around for eavesdroppers. "He's in the past and that's where he'll stay. Besides, he's demon married now. There's no way I'd get involved with that mess. Can you imagine how miserable it would be to sleep next to a man who's feeling his ex-husband's emotions when he's kissing you? I'll pass."

"Then who are you wanting me to seduce for you?" Oliver asked with a heavy sigh. "This is why the rest of us don't get involved with the royal games like you and Dad. It all ends up in a giant mess."

"Look, I promise that this isn't a big deal," Claudia insisted. "I just need you to keep Arterius distracted so that Miruna isn't tempted by him. At least until our wedding, but preferably for as long as possible."

The look Oilver gave his sister was a mix of disbelief, frustration, and pity. It made Claudia want to sink into the floor and never be seen again.

"Damn, Claudia, that's insane even for you. Why are you marrying Miruna if you feel like you need to order me to sleep with her ex just to make you feel better? Just talk with her or break up. It's not that hard."

"I made a deal with the Pleasantview coven to give them an heir from Casper Goss' bloodline and Ewan Maricourt's. I can't back out of a deal like that. I need the loyalty of the coven to rule."

Oliver stared at his sister in shock.

"And you're marrying her because you love her, right?"

"Of course! Don't look at me like that! This is a reasonable request from your monarch."

Claudia's face burned red as she tried to formulate a response. No, she hadn't felt love for Roman, but she had always thought that what she had with Miruna was love. If it wasn't, then it was close enough. They made each other laugh after a hard day, and Miruna was a constant support. They enjoyed each other's company and their union would bring legitimacy to the Pleasantview coven's leadership. It worked for her, but it had stung to see just how passionate Miruna had been when arguing with Arterius' parent. Claudia doubted that Miruna would fight a god for their relationship and that truth had slowly been eating away at her confidence.

"What is with you, Clo? You grew up with the same sickeningly in love parents that I did, and yet you can't seem to understand basic relationships. You ghost the father of your child for years, and now you want me to seduce your fiancée's ex so that she won't leave you for him? What kind of example are you setting for your kid? If you don't love Miruna, you can't trick her into staying with you. You can see that, right? This is insane."

"Look, just forget I said anything," Claudia snapped, twisting her pool cue in her hands irritably. "It was a stupid idea; let's just move on. Do I need to order you a suit for the Harvest Moon Ball? Your outfit for the Goldman Memorial Ball arrived the other day."

Oliver gave his sister another pitying look that Claudia absolutely hated.

"Look, I'll hit on him for you. Arterius, that is. I can't promise to run off and marry him, but I'll make a move. If he says no, then I can't do anything about that, but for you, I'll try."

"Thanks. That means a lot to me. It's a stupid idea, I know, but I have to know if he's a threat."

Claudia avoided meeting Oliver's eyes, but he could hear the relief in her voice. They'd grown up hearing all about their royal grandparents and honestly, Oliver couldn't understand why Claudia chose to live that life. It sounded exhausting.

"Remember that story Great-uncle Charley used to tell us when we'd visit? The one about Holy Queen Jasone? She had the power of a demigod and a throne in Strangetown, and because of those, she couldn't trust anyone who wanted to date her."

Claudia nodded slowly.

"And the coven leader disguised her at a costume ball," Claudia said. "She met her future consort there while she was disguised."

"If it wasn't for that plan, we wouldn't exist," Oliver replied. "If it worked for our ancestor, then it will work for you too. Pretend to be sick next week when I invite some people over to 'tour the renovations and grounds' and we'll see if I'm Arterius' type. Wear a disguise and see if someone talks to you or what Miruna does if she thinks you're at home."

"That...that sounds like a terrible idea," Claudia replied. "It's worth a shot, though. I need to know how Miruna feels without marriage contracts and expensive castles clouding her judgment. Just...invite a lot of people so it's not just the four of us making awkward conversation around the snack table."

Oliver smiled warily, unsure if he was actually doing the right thing for his sister. Truthfully, he might be doing the right thing simply because Claudia would probably think of a plan on her own that was twice as terrible.

"It's a date then."

[eveepe]

Thanks for tag @tenderlady ❤️

rules: list your top 5 albums from your top 5 artists (can't have a repeat of the same artist) on a poll, so your followers can vote which album they think captures your vibe the best

Even choosing my top five Björk albums would be a tough one for me 😭

Tagging @aquarianshift @revollver @fkajohnlennon @pie-of-flames :)

[wizfurb]

My six best books of 2023

Not in any particular order:

Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White

Grit by Silas Denver Melvin aka @sweatermuppet

Something Is Killing The Children (all of it) by James Tynion IV, Werther Dell’Edera, Miquel Muerto

She Doesn’t Seem Autistic by Esther Ottoway

Dracula by Bram Stoker

Dinosaur Sanctuary by Itaru Kinoshita

2023 was the year of poetry, comics/manga, and horror, it seems!

Thanks for tagging me, @petesdragon ! Don’t have anyone in particular to tag myself but please if you see this feel free! And tag me! I’d love to see any of my mutuals fave reads.

[witchhunter]

Thank you for tagging me @daveslutstaine and @faroffpromise

List your top 5 albums from your top 5 artists (can't have a repeat of the same artist) on a poll, so your followers can vote which album they think captures your vibe the best.

@ishootcops @twymyn99 @segwaystevens @slaughterlmao @diestummeursel

[omegaremix]

Hospital Productions 20th Anniversary @ Warsaw, N.Y.C.; November 5, 2017.

A gray, rainy day was the best setting for a show like this. Warsaw in Greenpoint, Brooklyn was the locale for a very special event: Hospital Production’s 20th Anniversary. For some reason, I felt somewhat nervous leading up to the event not because of what was in store, but the feeling of taking the train solo and experiencing the rare day out in New York City. I felt this way a couple of times before. Maybe because it stemmed from the time I went to Webster Hall to experience Unsane and the Melvins during my life wake-up call. It’s been five years since, and it’s a different deck of cards consisting of noise, electronics, techno, doom rock, black metal, and more. This event was the answer to Dominick Fernow’s twenty-year output as an artist, producer, and label-head. It would supersede everything I seen up until now, from the scope of sound to the length of the entire show. At ten hours, it would be the ultimate endurance test of style, philosophy, and sonic aesthetic I would attend. It wasn’t long before we were wrist-banded, i.d.’ed, and bag-checked by the venue brutes before finally being admitted.

Upon entering, some of us head to another room to form a line where Hospital sold rare cassettes and vinyl. What caught my eyes were three books all of Peter Sotos: Index (1998), Lazy (1999), and Tick (2000); out-of-print titles asking for lots of money on the secondary market. The myth is now legend. Also sought after was Buddha Strangled In Vines (1997), the companion cassette to Prurient’s massive upcoming four-disc / seven l.p. album Rainbow Mirror, released only at this very show. It might be the only time I could buy anything from Hospital. Years ago it had its’ own store and who used to be a friend of mine offered to come with me for the first time. She never put up her half of the deal thanks to constant excuses and putting off. The store closed down forever and so did us being close friends. I couldn’t wait any more to see what else were at the tables because I heard the first blasts of interference and noise exploding from the main stage from Dust Belt and Dual Action; whom were wearing shirts nodding or snarking Whitehouse depending on who you ask. “Rise, William” and “Nobody’s Ugly After 2 A.M.” were the sarcastic references of one of noise’s most controversial acts. Ames Sanglantes, who just released the eight-cassette Crackdown, came next with a quick but honorable and powerful set of earthquakes and power noise. It wasn’t until when Fernow and company arrived as Rainforest Spiritual Enslavement that Hospital turned to lengthy sets and intermissions. Fernow made his first appearance delivering damp humid environmental atmospheres and ethnic overtones with periods of mesmerizing techno beats that put the crowd to the test.  

Husband-and-wife duo Mike and Tara Connelly played next as doom-rock outfit Clay Rendering, one that we played on our first year at Omega Radio and hadn’t thought much of. That was until the moment when we saw them perform and realize that maybe there was more to them than we expected. That’s on us. It was interesting to see how the opposing dynamics of each half played out. Tara Connelly was more calm and at ease, swaying her hips so serene as she stood before the synth lines and drum patterns while Mike Connelly drove linear guitar riffs at revved-up speeds into wide blurry gazes of sound. He was very into it, so much that towards the end of their set he started peeling off Tara’s torn stockings and wrapped his mic- cord around her neck loosely. They kissed each other to seal the deal, as Fernow waited to happily greet Tara on a set well done. Gears shifted drastically as Geography Of Hell, dressed in hoods and full-face moon masks, arrived for their first-ever states performance delivering their world-wide horrific atrocity noise to the backdrop of World War II and post-Hiroshima footage. Dedekind Cut followed thereafter, who joined the roster as last year’s $uccessor was released through the imprint. Cut was rarely seen out in the open, mostly hiding behind the high-stack of knobs, wires, and electronics dealing a wide assortment of wild-card splices ranging from white-noise dirge-loops, house samples, goth, and even gabber beats as those were demonstrated on “Fear In Reverse 2”. He was even more obscured in the physical realm as the smoke machines behind him pushed themselves to the maximum, creating a sweet perfect gradient complimenting the fluorescent vertical lighttubes thanks to the overhead stage lights.    

The second of three collaborative sets was on deck. Italy’s Lussuria paired with label artist, producer, and designer Alberich / Kris Lapke of Hospital. Both became spectres of a dreary, colorless, and drab period of time during a more primitive world once inhabited by fallen kings and princes. It was a sharp contrast of when I first witnessed Alberich two years ago for a line-up headlining Consumer Electronics at Saint Vitus, who Lapke was victorious in creating a dense powerful maelstrom of noise which I picked up to be more militaristic. Eras of time and weapons systems were severely fast-forwarded when Orphx took the stage. Thanks to Hospital, their long lost Xcreteria cassette releases 01 and 02 (1993, 1994) were finally re-released, showing a huge disparity of time between their noise phase and their current techno one. What really had the crowd going were their very tightly interwoven techniques of improvised thumping bass, techno, and intense rhythmic noise; extremely dense metallic industrial corkscrews made of iron, steel, and titanium made by Richard Oddie and Christina Sealey, both of 25 years of recording history together. Skin Crime would be the final purely electronic-noise act to take the stage and their first set in ten years. The trio of Mark Jameson, Patrick O’Neal, and Shawn Smith would start with minimal power, gradually becoming more ferocious and forceful as their output became more turbulent by the minute, eventually becoming an unstoppable and destructive force of low rumbles, distortion, and screetching glitched electronics. They would be a figurative downpour that steadily came and went, leaving a path of destruction in their wake.

As I waited tensely for what’s next, I seen many shifts of people inbetween sets going back-and-forth from the main ballroom to buy rare noise records, cassettes, and reading material. They were all decked out in black from head-to-toe. Black hats, black shirts, black leather jackets, black skinny jeans, black boots, black coats, black skirts. At least 9 out of 10 people were decked to the nines in black. This was current Greenpoint, New York City’s contingency of the noise and anti-culture. It was perhaps the largest tee-shirt nirvana I had ever took part of. Looking around me and I seen people wearing Front Line Assembly and Front 242 shirts. Lussuria, Con-Dom, Vatican Shadow, Burzum, Testament, Sacred Bones. Nine Inch Nails. Cold Cave (“People Are Poison”). Yours truly was wearing NON (Rise). There was one grand-prize winner wearing a Whitehouse (Dedicated To Peter Kurten) shirt and a blonde East-Asian girl who wore a massive black leather hood over her head as if she was about to take out many innocent victims in blood. But without a doubt the most iconoclastic show-goer I seen there was a petite college girl wearing a University of Wisconsin sweatshirt and I swore she could’ve took a wrong turn and got lost. And there was never a shortage of good music played through dee-jay sets courtesy of label friend Becka Diamond and techno legend Regis, the Downwards founder who just released a collaborative recording with Prurient on the four-cassette four-artist compilation Various Auras. We all stood there and hear “Into The Groove-y” by Ciccone Youth, “Nuclear War” by Sun Ra, and the entire 20 minutes of “Western Mantra” by Cabaret Voltaire. Even “Kick The Habit” by Monte Cazzaza. How many people still hold Cazzaza in their little black hearts? Amazing. And make no mistake, the ever-familiar Nikki Sneakers was there to take photos from start-to-finish; the same Nikki Sneakers of buns, bangs, and a shaved head who took photos of not only the above-mentioned Saint Vitus show I went to but also Red Bull Music Academy’s 2015 noise bill at Output.

The crowd neared the end of a monumental night when we came to the guitars-and-drums meat of the show. Guess who decided to join us up front? Ames Sanglantes in a great mood wearing his Testement shirt and a can of Miller Lite in his hand. Novato, California’s Bone Awl took the stage after a long hiatus of running their Klaxon label and Raspberry Bulbs releases, whipping the crowd into a manic killer frenzy. Mosh pits were formed and bucked the front line forward with aggressive force just like Bone Awl’s set was: rambunctious choke-out black metal from He Who Gnashes Teeth, He Who Crushes Teeth (Marco Del Rio), and an extra third member. So intense and furious this set that Rubio suffered a nosebleed playing drums in this cataclysmic delivery of blood-moon proportions. If we weren’t already in a violent swirl, Fernow decided to run up on stage and vault himself into the crowd for a powerful “fuck-yeah” black metal crowd-surf. This all set the stage for the ultimate three-headed Cerebus of Philadelphia’s Nothing, Fernow as Prurient, and Justin Broadrick as Jesu forming the ultimate triple threat. Nothing, known for their split release with Whirr and releasing last year’s Tired Of Tomorrow with Relapse Records, had their recording start in Hospital’s studios which their demo is now highly sought-after. Each of the three artists shared their best qualities of shoegaze, bombastic drums, slow-burn guitar riffs, background electronics, and alternating vocals with each other. Broadrick performed “Tired Of Me” taken from the post-Godflesh post-Techno Animal debut album of Jesu (2005), the calmest of all metal storms of the night before Prurient delivered “I Have A Message For You” from the Lily Of The Valley / Return To Happiness double cassette (2007). But Fernow wasn’t finished yet. Nothing subsided for the night and Broadrick stepped back (for now) as all eyes were on Prurient performed the title track to 2008’s Cocaine Death, classic Prurient replete with agonizing catharsis and painful screaming to the heavens of loss, unanswered questions, and enduring torture through drowning noise.

“Be nice!” smiled Broadrick to the crowd as he took the stage with G.C. Green as Godflesh, headliners of the legendary noise night. (Guitarist Paul Neville, who guested for a few tracks on the landmark album, wasn’t present for the occasion.) They came to deliver most of the larger-than-life debut Streetcleaner (1989) with bone-shattering soul-crushing results. The audience praised them when they ignited Streetcleaner’s opener “Like Rats” and the Henry Lee Lucas-laced title-track. On disc, their debut became the stuff of legends fusing metal guitar riffs with drum machine rhythms, pioneering industrial metal as Ministry had around that time with The Land Of Rape And Honey (1988). They continued to perform to devastating, punishing results to the likes which were even heavier and personal live than on record, and even then Streetcleaner was one of the most intense releases from metal or any genre in the decade. That’s because it was born out of Fall Of Because’s Life Is Easy (1987), the one-and only horrifying pre-Godflesh document that became the spring-board of their no-future world that started in 1989. Previously, Broadrick released splits with Prurient and cassettes on Hospital. Now Godflesh would be releasing Post-Self, their return to destruction since 2014’s A World Only Lit By Fire. It couldn’t have come at a better time. In the end, Godflesh won a huge standing ovation. We didn’t get encores. Instead, we got Broadrick signing an Earache promotional poster and a Napalm Death Scum square flat for one lucky fan whom waited decades to finally meet him. That’s a huge risk he would’ve taken if it wasn’t Broadrick. Luckily, he is an endlessly prolific musician of what’s conscious around him. He knows what he’s done throughout the last 30 years of making music (he’s only 45) and is super-appreciative of his fans. You wouldn’t jump off a bridge or in front of a moving car if your friends told you to, but if the house was burning in flames and Godflesh asked you to go to hell, you’d all say “yes” in a heartbeat.

As for Fernow, who else would have built one of noise music’s most recognizable go-to labels? Following him for years since the Mothers Against Noise online hoax, he’s made a world that was and is still unlike any other. As mentioned here before, Fernow’s output as Prurient made me think critically as to how someone could create something so different, so raw, so painful, so human. His work and everything around us at the time epitomized my best moments at WUSB as a program director. Further down the road during the economic crash, his associations with Cold Cave symbolized a personal revival because I needed what I was missing out. More of his works as Vatican Shadow, Rainforest Spiritual Enslavement, Ash Pool, and Taylor Bow, combined with his further associations with Heartworm and Ron Morelli / L.I.E.S. only elevated me to a distinct place separating me from the majority and also made me discover more favorites because of it. All of it. One can wonder how Fernow feels looking back at his entire legacy and Hospital’s 20 years of existence; the results culminating on this very night that everyone enjoyed.

I left Warsaw and Greenpoint taking the G and 7 trains back home out east. I can only think of where to go from here, asking myself why I’m not living life in Greenpoint instead of perpetually feeling displaced on Long Island.

[bow-chicka-wow-wow-wow]

Worst GTA Characters

1. Melvin “Big Smoke” Harris (San Andreas) - Let me get two number 9s, a number 9 large, and well, you know the rest. Oh, some Ballas. Nah, I can’t let this food go bad, let me just stuff my big fat fucking face. Oh by the way, I’m actually allied with the Ballas, and I’ve betrayed my childhood friends. I meant to have Sweet killed, but I ended up accidentally having his mother killed. Smoke is an opportunist, and was always out for himself. Fun fact, when he says “If you can eat your food, while everybody else is losing theirs, and blaming you, you straight,” he actually meant if you can profit while everyone else is losing everything because of you, then you’re okay,” foreshadowing his own betrayal. Almost hurt me to have to kill him in the end, although his mentality is the surest path to hell. Well, that and 15 microdots and an ounce of mescaline. Also, he had no regrets. He saw an opportunity, and took it, no matter who he ended up hurting.

2. Frank Tenpenny (San Andreas) - When it comes to GTA baddies, Tenpenny is one of the worst. He builds a crack empire in order to extort money from, he convinces opportunist Smoke to be the head of said drug empire and ally himself with the Ballas, he orders a hit on Grove OG Sweet after Smoke fails to convince him to get into the drug trade, he murders Internal Affairs officer Ralph Pendlebury for threatening to leak corruption evidence, and he frames the murder on CJ, blackmailing him into cleaning up his mess. Officer Pulaski may be cruel and sadistic, but Tenpenny is much worse. He even has Officer Hernandez killed for snitching on him. Once CJ’s usefulness has come to an end, he orders Pulaski to kill him and Hernandez, resulting in Pulaski’s death. He even manages to avoid jail time, thanks to the would-be witness he orders CJ to kill, causing a city-wide riot. Thankfully, his erratic behavior in the end cost him his life. Fun fact, it’s actually possible that he left Pulaski to deal with CJ cause he knew CJ would end up killing him.

3. The Celebrinator (TBoGT) - Look, buddy, my boss is struggling to maintain two nightclubs, owes money to some dangerous monsters, and is $2 million in the hole for some diamonds that got stolen from him. I got enough problems without your tabloid journalism fake news bullshit! You know what, I’m just gonna throw you out of a helicopter! Oh, I guess I don’t want ANOTHER murder on my conscience, among literally thousands! Guess I’ll save you! Haha, you shit your pants! Guess you’ll never mess with me again!

4. Auntie Poulet (Vice City) - She only appears in three missions as a mission giver. When Tommy initiated a gang war between the Cubans and the Haitians, Tommy does some missions for Umberto Robina, and eventually gets contacted by Auntie Poulet, who drugs Tommy into taking the Haitians side of the war. Then after her mission thread, you’re no longer useful and the Haitians attack you on sight once you step into their turf, following Poulet’s phone call telling you you’re no longer welcome in Haitian territory. Wow, so you use me against my will only to dispose of me in the end?

5. Kent Paul (Vice City) - It’s always funny to watch him try his luck with the ladies, only to fail so spectacularly. This English man keeps his nose in places it shouldn’t be, but that does make him useful if you want to know something involving Vice City’s criminal underworld. And he’s managed two well known Scottish rock bands, Love Fist and Gurning Chimps. But the thing that breaks it with this particular character, is the fact that he can be as petty as Lance when he calls complaining about your lack of respect for him. I hope he too doesn’t sell me out to a rival Mafia family.

6. Brian Jeremy (TLAD) - Ever heard the phrase “Nobody Likes A Kiss-ass?” Clearly Brian hasn’t. He is constant brown-nosing Billy ever since the latter got out of rehab. The Alderney Chapter President of the Lost M.C. is always making the obviously wrong decisions, causing friction between himself and Johnny. And quite frankly, the rest of the chapter doesn’t seem to agree with his methods either, save for Brian. Even Billy finds his kiss-ass annoying, too! When Billy gets arrested, Brian forms a faction that are dumb enough to follow against Johnny, who has taken over as President. I NEVER let him live the mission “Bad Standing.” I make sure he’s halfway to hell.

7. Ray Bulgarin (GTA IV) - So you say your boss is a pain. If he is the head of a smuggling/traffic ring, and he loses his latest consignment in a ship that sinks, and blames you, and tries everything in his power to have you killed, then you have the wrong boss. Granted, in the original GTA IV, he only shows up twice. He makes a more prominent appearance in TBoGT, when he employs Luis, up until he finds out he and Tony were involved in the Diamonds Arc, which Bulgarin claims are his diamonds, then spends the rest of the game trying to have them killed. Word to the wise, stay away from this guy!

8. Zero (San Andreas) - Did you know that you do NOT have to complete his mission thread in order to complete the story mode? BECAUSE I DIDN’T!!! Fun fact, even his voice actor, David Cross, couldn’t stand hearing his voice in the mission “Supply Lines,” so you know this is an interesting entry! Also prior to the casino heist, he boasts to his rival Berkley about the upcoming robbery, which makes the heist more difficult than it needed to be. I laughed my ass off when CJ punches him in the face, knocking him out for his idiotic mistake! That’s for “Supply Lines,” you prick!

9. Beverly Felton (GTA V) - What’s Vinewood without the annoying paparazzi? Beverly is an overweight, obnoxious paparazzo who tasks Franklin with helping him harass various stars around the Vinewood area. When he tasks Franklin to take some photos on his own, Franklin returns and demands his payment, only to be blown off cause they’re shooting a reality show. Oh God, if only I had a rocket lau- OH WAIT I DO! Yeah I kill that obnoxious prick for being, well, an obnoxious prick!

10. Tonya Wiggins (GTA V) - Good ol’ GTA. You get to steal cars, rob stores, get as many cops to kill you as you can, and… tow cars? I’m sorry, TOW cars? Yep, GTA V adds the ability to do yoga, go to therapy, and the mundane task of towing cars. Thanks to a potentially old flame/crackhead Tonya, whose boyfriend works at a towing company. By “works” I mean sitting on his ass and smoking crack. In order to keep his job, I get guilt-tripped by Tonya to do his job for him for nothing. And what’s worse, her first mission is actually required to progress the story, despite being a Strangers and Freaks mission. Good news is her other missions aren’t required, and spoiler alert, they’re literally the exact same thing.

11. Isiah Friedlander (GTA V) - I got some problems. I’m stealing cars, running over pedestrians, killing cops, causing chaos. I need some professional help. By “help,” I mean someone to complain to while he just takes my money, overcharges more for each subsequent session, just checks his watch, and not even listen to me? What, not even my therapist cares about me? What do I pay you for?? Well, you got a nice car, I’ll just steal it. Asshole. Also, do the world a favor. After your last session with him, and he reveals that he has written all your sessions in a book that has been published, kill that prick!

12. Catalina (San Andreas and GTA III) - Do you have a psycho girlfriend? Why is she psycho? Does she go berserk when you rob the countryside with her? Does she force you to have awkward, BDSM sex with her? Does she dump you for some mute with absolutely no personality? Does she shoot you during a robbery and leave you for dead? Wow, you ARE dating a psycho! Run, while you still can! Catalina is without a doubt the most evil character in the entire 3D universe. She’s that universe’s version of Dimitri Rascalov, screwing people over to benefit herself. It’s likely she’d betray the Cartel too, if Claude hadn’t killed her and taken his revenge. Thank God my girlfriend isn’t like that!

13. Karen “Michelle” Daniels (GTA IV) - What do you do when your girlfriend turns out to be a narc? You put her on a list of GTA characters you hate, obviously! Introduced as “Michelle,” she was there to introduce players to the revamped “dating” mechanic that was previously in San Andreas, and this version is actually part of the “friends” mechanic. You know, the “let’s go bowling” everyone absolutely loves! Other than 4 mission appearances, she does little to nothing to the plot, except in her betrayal, when she reveals she’s an agent for the IAA, and her boss forces you to take down links to terrorism and threats to homeland security, in exchange for not having 100 murders pinned on you, and helping find the man who betrayed your unit. So, in a way, I think I should thank Karen for entrapping me in her honeypot operation.

14. Trey “Playboy X” Stewart (GTA IV) - Scumbag. Just an absolute scumbag. He stopped caring about his former friend/mentor Dwayne, and wanted to kill him after the latter has Niko kill the gangsters managing the Triangle gentleman’s club, a club Dwayne ran before his incarceration. When you get the choice to kill either Dwayne or Playboy, and you kill Dwayne, not only does the game let you know in a sad way you picked the wrong choice, but you’re everything that’s wrong with this world and I wonder how you sleep at night! I kill Playboy because not only do I (and Niko) sympathize with Dwayne, but I get his penthouse apartment and the classic Claude outfit!

15. Lance “Ryder” Wilson (San Andreas) - Could it be possible that Ryder calls you a buster because he himself is a buster? Also, what are your thoughts about the possibility that Ryder wasn’t originally meant to betray you? It still doesn’t detract from the fact that he seems to hold CJ in the most contempt out of everyone in Grove. Sure, Sweet was none too happy to see you again, but Ryder just can’t pass up every chance to call CJ a buster and comment on his “shitty” driving skills, which is obviously a meta joke referencing the chaotic way ALL GTA players drive (except yours truly). The only thing that shocked me when Ryder betrayed Grove was the fact that there was not even a mention of him, just Smoke! Still, I can’t help but feel his death was well earned for the way he’s always treated me!

16. Amanda De Santa (GTA V) - What do you do when you’re trapped in an unhappy marriage and divorce is just not an option? You cheat on your husband with literally EVERY man you come in contact with! In her defense, yes, Michael is by zero means a good husband or father, and she was faithful to him till she caught him cheating on her with a stripper. The thing I hate most about her is forcing me to do yoga in GTA. I play this game to cause chaos, not to seek enlightenment! Honestly, the De Santas’ marriage is like Walter and Skyler White’s marriage on steroids.

17. Devin Weston (GTA V) - Not all rich people are bad, right?! RIGHT?! Devin is the billionaire contact for the corrupt FIB division Michael, Franklin, and Trevor are forced to work for. He has Michael work with movie producer Solomon Richards on his latest film, and has Franklin in charge of an operation to steal five exotic vehicles. Things don’t work out well for our heroes though, as Devin cheats Franklin of his payment for the cars, and plans to cancel Michael’s movie production right before they finish, shut down the studio, tear it down, and redevelop it into condos after he gets a tax payout. Fortunately, the movie still happens, infuriating Devin. I don’t think he cares that Molly gets killed when Michael takes the film back, but he just doesn’t like that Michael made a fool of him. His death at the hands of all three protagonists was cathartic (yes, the “Deathwish” ending IS the canon ending!)

18. Simeon Yetarian (GTA V) - Somehow, Simeon found out that I’m making this list, and I’ve added him to it. You know what he said? He said I was a racist. Simeon runs a shady car dealership, where he gaslights his clients into buying his lucrative vehicles in his showroom, taking advantage of the fact that he’s Armenian and calling them a racist to get them to buy the cars at exorbitant interest rates that are nigh impossible to pay in full. When they inevitably default on their payments, he has his employees Franklin and Lamar repossess them. I’m glad Michael beat the ever-living shit out of him when he targeted his son Jimmy in one of his schemes. Call that karmic retribution. It does get Franklin and Lamar fired though, but maybe it’s for the best.

19. Jeffery “OG Loc” Cross (San Andreas) - You know that one kid in high school you just can’t stand cause he’s an annoying poser? Yep, that’s Jeffery. Oh sorry, “OG Loc!” This wannabe gangsta rapper gets himself thrown in jail just for minor misdemeanors just to help his career, which only skyrocketed because he stole Madd Dogg’s rhyme book, quite simply because he is absolutely awful at rapping. And his voice… I honestly wanna put a cheese grater to my eardrums. And you know you’re perpetrating when you gotta call yourself “OG Loc,” and you just gotta say you’re “gangsta,” just to drive your point. This character is absolutely unlikable in every way imaginable.

20. Manuel Escuela (GTA IV) - “The streets, man!” Manny is one of the most, if not the most, annoying characters IN GTA IV. Literally every sentence he utters the words “the streets,” and “man!” He even claims to have been one of the inventors of hip hop before it went commercial. His crusade is to “help clean the streets,” including busting and killing drug dealers (or hiring Niko to do so and take the credit). I was honestly both shocked and relieved when Elizabeta Torres shot and killed him when he harassed her for dealing drugs. But, he gets his organs harvested in the black market, so I guess he finally gets to help the streets after all!

21. Eddie Pulaski (San Andreas) - The instant I met this prick in the beginning of the game, I already looked forward to the moment you get to kill him. An officer of the corrupt C.R.A.S.H. division, and Tenpenny’s right hand man, Pulaski is cruel, sadistic, and racist. He carries out Tenpenny’s orders with little to no hesitation, and constantly taunts CJ. Right before CJ finally does him in, he smugly requests to have sex with CJ’s sister. Pulaski, you were a scumbag to the end.

22. Vladimir Glebov (GTA IV) - Ever played any game at all, and you come across one certain character, and say to yourself, “Can’t wait till I inevitably kill this prick?” That’s Vlad to a T. He’s rude, obnoxious, and inconsiderate. He always boasts about his “powerful friends,” being a debt collector for the Faustin Bratva. The straw that broke the camel’s back was him boasting about his affair with Roman’s girlfriend, Mallorie. After Niko kills him, Mikhail Faustin, despite not being particularly pleased that Niko killed one of his men, nevertheless despised the idiotic Vlad. He only kept him around because Faustin had sex with Vlad’s sister. So much for your powerful “friends.”

23. Maria Latore (GTA III) - Look up the phrase “gold digger.” Chances are you’ll end up with a picture of her. Maria is the trophy wife of Salvatore Leone, and it’s obvious they do not love each other at all. Maria only married him because he’s a rich and powerful Don of a Mafia Family. She’s also the reason Claude becomes a marked man for the Leone Family. She told a paranoid Salvatore that she and Claude were having an affair just to spite him. Honestly, if I were Claude, the moment she got kidnapped by the Cartel, I’d just let her die instead of paying $500,000 to my ex-girlfriend.

24. Bruce “Brucie” Kibbutz (GTA IV) - Business entrepreneur, “alpha male,” and steroid junkie, Brucie is the one guy you’d see at the gym that’s very obnoxious about his workout. His mission thread involves you killing some people just because he’s suffering from ‘roid rage. He one of the characters that can call you every five minutes outside of missions, a mechanic that most GTA players hate. Honestly, Brucie, I’d much rather be hanging out with Little Jacob. In TBoGT, his brother, Mori, is MUCH worse!

25. Roman Bellic (GTA IV) - “Cousin, let’s go bowling!” The thing that breaks it for most gamers is the infamous phone call seemingly every 5 minutes when you linger too long outside of missions. Roman also has a gambling problem that has constantly gotten himself and his cousin Niko into trouble. In the end of the game, you can be a real asshole and take the deal ending and get Roman killed at his wedding!

[wooglebear]

For context, this is for the au i made four people for yesterday, and is going to be a fic tomorrow (i got the first chapter prewritten). I don't plan on making a separate blog for it, because the last AU i made a blog for, A Cyborg in Time, went on hiatus so… yeah.

EDIT: I'll make a second blog for it.

Yes, this is not just an AU where Melvin gets erased instead of Melvinborg, but an AU where his past self has a sibling.

Angel Laurel Harmony Sneedly (or Angel, because that full name is a mouth) is Melvin's older sister and she and her brother were born six years apart. Her name is a bit of a misnomer.

A narcissistic, sadistic, and tyrannical monster who is homeschooled (thankfully), she does not conform to the genius style as she’s an influencer, and a bit famous. The constant praise and approval from her parents only served to further increase her ego, right up to the point where she can’t go up to five minutes without gazing upon her own reflection in her own personally-made, silver hand-mirror with her initials on the back or going on her phone. While she did achieve her (and mostly the dream of her parents as well) dream to become a star, an internet one at that, she feels that just being famous is much more fun than actually doing camp stuff.

Her TikTok name is "S3nt-fr0m-h3av3n".

When she comes to camp during episode 7 (the Camoflush ep is set during sibling day), all hell breaks loose as Angel was unwillingly taken to this hellhole of a camp to meet (and stay with) her Terrible Horrible Very Bad No Good Half Brother.

She doesn't just love the spotlight, she also loves creating drama and conflict. Manipulative, and knowing that her army of fans will follow her to the end of time and that she is not afraid to utilize them, Angel might be the most charismatic yet terrifying person ever.

Thanks to Angel's bastardry, Yuri is very unsure if she wants to trust her (given that she's three years younger than Angel) or not. Chelsea hates Angel, and Georgina befriends her.

As a result of Angel debuting at the halfway point of season 3, she has no idea about the first six episodes of this version of season 3, as well as the entirety of season 2, too.

Georgina: Yuri, tell them about the ancient Rome episode from last season!

Angel: The w h a t

Angel's a bit crazy, too. Melvinborg tries to get rid of her various times, but Angel bounces back. This is basically her way of going "Oh no you don't, you really need to step it up if you want to consider getting rid of me for good."

He also tried to consider going to Chelsea to get Angel murked, but the girl didn't follow through with the order, thankfully for Angel.

Even when saying the most malicious things imaginable, Angel never loses her calm.

As for how Angel takes Melvin unexisting? Angel throws herself into fame. Her followers remark how she's "so much cooler now that horrid younger brother of yours is out of the picture". She calls Melvinborg "Melvin" and their sibling relationship starts out unhealthy, but gets better as time goes on and Angel starts to gain real self confidence instead of relying on the phone.

She starts to slowly mellow out as a person, in fact.

Aside from that, her true love in this world is gerself, and it would absolutely devastate her if anything were to damage her beautiful face and physique. Unfortunately for her, the place where she has been dragged to is probably not the best place to be when it comes to clean stuff, as she soon finds out.

(I’m picturing a brief running gag in the Borelock episode of Melvinborg and Yuri, who is a bit of a germophobic, getting themselves increasingly filthy to their horror while Angel doesn't care as I'm giving Melvin's VR hat to her.)

Briefly became Melvinborg's right-hand man during the Laserlightmare episode, before having a change of heart in the Parents' Weekend and Talent Show episode.

[spaghettificationandpretzels]

A Voice Through the Nothingness Part 11

Series Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings apply. Do not keep reading if you feel the subject matter of this work may upset you.

This chapter is a bit late, life has been all over the place. Please remember the importance of feedback, it really helps me.

Contains: This is still a slow burn, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, graphic descriptions of past domestic violence, protective Billy.

4.4 K words

Comment if you want to be tagged or follow #a voice through the nothingness.

“Fear is a phoenix. You can watch it burn a thousand times and still it will return.”- Leigh Bardugo

Hazel rubbed her face as she filled in the incident report, she focused on the details down to every last fact, partly to stop herself from laughing and partly to hold back the growing anxiety that her Ex's parole date was exactly a week away.

Billy's call came just as she signed the document and it took her everything not to spill right there and then, "So, I don't know if you know this, but Mevin the security guard is all over the news, I'm pretty sure your hand in the background."

Hazel bit the inside of her cheek and willed the giggles to stay away, "Yes, there was an incident at one of those foul child beauty pageants. An issue arose over the scoring, some parents got into a fight. A mother was stabbed with a pair of scissors and the worst a kid got was a sprained wrist."

Billy picked up on Hazel's tone, "Oh come on, you can tell me more. The news has video." Billy was trying to distract her, if the worried raw lower lip he caught sight of yesterday was anything to go by, she wasn't doing well.

Hazel barely held back her laughter, "Oh my God, Melvin's going to become a meme because of me. The kid with the sprained wrist was wearing four thousand dollars worth of pageant gear that had to be cut off. The poor kid's crazy mother came at me with a fucking bone saw when I told her. I just got done filing the report."

Billy paused his task at her words, "She came at you with a bone saw over some clothes?"

That was it, Hazel was gone and she could barely speak between cackles, "Yes, I don't even….." Billy loved that sound, he would have loved it more if it wasn't tinged with something less pleasant, "I don't even know how she got it." She sighed, "Can you pick me up today, I don't feel like taking the subway, I'll cover your gas."

Billy could hear something coming through more the more she spoke, "Hell yeah, in fact, can I ask a favour in return?"

"Of course you can." Hazel knew Billy would never ask her to do anything she didn't want to do.

"We've expanded into looking after more families and I need help going through applicants who will be good with kids, I'd really value your input." Billy didn't just value it, he desperately wanted it.

"Sure, if you want, you can bring me to Anvil, I'm happy to do it now." Hazel didn't want to admit to herself that it was because she felt safe there.

Billy smiled, "That would be great, I owe you so much."

Hazel giggled, "It's nothing, the fact that you value my opinion enough to make hiring decisions on it is enough."

At that moment, it hit Billy how much he did value her opinion, "I'll be there when you finish. Thank you for doing this, you have no idea how much help it is."

Hazel smiled, "Hey, I'm happy to help. I'll see you soon."

Now that Billy had time to wait until he saw he her, he found himself missing her, "See you soon Hazel."

****

Billy grinned as Hazel came into view, the site of her with two coffees in her hands in her yellow scrubs filling his chest with joy, "Hi Billy."

"Hello Hazel." He walked around to the passenger side and opened her door before she handed him a coffee and slid inside, "Thanks."

Hazel shook her head, "No worries. I feel bad getting in your nice car in my work clothes."

Billy gave her a look, "This car has seen a lot worse." He pointed to the little animals on her scrubs, "Are those Armadillos?

Hazel shook her head, "No, they're Pangolins."

Billy noticed how tired she looked, "Where do you find Pangolin scrubs?"

Hazel smiled, "I made these scrubs. I found Pangolin fabric at a kid's online fabric store. How did you get here in time? The traffic is terrible."

Billy smiled, "I left early. I hope you don't mind that we'll be sitting in the car for a while."

Hazel shook her head, "No way. I get to spend time talking to you and I get to people watch. What's not to love?"

He could see the tension melting from her. Billy knew he had a knack for making people feel safe but seeing it in action was something different, "Well, when you put it like that then we better get going."

Hazel smiled, "Great, I never rode in such a fancy car." Billy pressed a button and her eyes went wide, "There and seat warmers? Oh boy."

Billy chuckled, "Yeah there are. Now tell me more about your day."

Hazel shrugged, "The ER was pretty busy with the pageant mothers. There were a lot more people involved than we first thought so I stayed there my whole shift. But it was pretty uneventful other than that."

Billy chuckled, "Isn't it bad luck to say shit like that?"

Hazel shook the growing tiredness from her bones, "No, only when you're in the ER. What are you looking for in a bodyguard, is that the right term?" Billy nodded, "What are you looking for in a bodyguard who's working with kids?"

Billy smiled, "That's what I want you to tell me."

Hazel nodded, "Ok, well what are you looking for in a bodyguard full stop? There are traits of people who work with kids who would make shit bodyguards and vise versa so maybe I can find a happy middle."

For someone who hated managing people, she was good at understanding what it took, "Past the fundamental skills like being able to do the job, I'm looking for someone with a lot of knowledge of how to get out of bad situations, someone who cares but not so much that they'll get involved and someone who thinks in their feet."

"Ok, well a lot of that is what you need with kids too so that's not a problem. I'd say you should also look for someone who likes kids but not necessarily someone who has them. While it's not a bad thing, I've seen doctors and nurses lose focus if they let their mind drift to their own little ones." Hazel felt the exhaustion hit her as she spoke.

Billy nodded, "Yeah, I've noticed that with Frank. I was thinking a sixty forty split women and men?"

Hazel rested her head back and sunk into the plush of the seat, "Mmm, I think that's a good idea but it all depends on the people you pick." It was getting so hard for her to keep her eyes open.

"That's why I'm bringing you along, I figure you know what you're talking about. I also thought that you and Curt could develop a pediatric training program. You don't even have to come in, I just want your input on some ideas. I mean, we do have pediatric medics but I've never seen them in action and I know how good you are at your job." Billy cast a glance at Hazel, smiling when he found her eyes closed and her chest rising and falling softly.

In the silence, she roused, "Sure, I'd be happy to help, whatever's good for the kiddos is good for me."

Billy smiled, "You are amazing." He thought about another thing to talk about, something that would lull her back to sleep, "We've bought two properties too, they're both a total shit heep now but with some work, they'll will be really nice. One an apartment block with seven apartments and a security centre on the ground floor. It used to be an office building but it was rezoned and sold to us for nothing. We'll turn half into overnight rooms for our staff and others into safehouses."

Hazel let out an mhhh and Billy kept going, "The other is this house that's basically a shell now, the backyard is huge and it's a total mess. It will take us forever to fix, but we will use it as a holiday house for our high end clients when they stay for business."

Billy came to the main road and had a choice to make, take the short way and get to Anvil in half an hour or the long way and get there in double that. It was an easy choice for him, an hour in a car talking about his plans while Hazel slept was a good way to beat the boredom of traffic.

****

Billy didn't know why he hadn't woken Hazel up yet but he reasoned it was because she looked so peaceful. He reached across the centre console and stroked Hazel's cheek, repeating her name softly until her eyes fluttered open. She sat up and rubbed her face before looking around, horror growing on her expression, "Shit, did I fall asleep? I'm so sorry."

Billy shook his head, "It's alright, you needed it."

Hazel swallowed, "I haven't been sleeping much since the news."

Billy lifted his hand again and brushed a curl behind her ear, Hazel's eyes closing at the gentle touch, "I don't blame you. Are you feeling a bit better now."

Hazel sighed and stretched, "Much. That was the best sleep I've had since Friday."

Billy understood how she went from a double shift on Friday to cooking all of Saturday with much of a break, adrenalin was an amazing thing. "Yeah, you told me on Saturday that you had a bad day at work but that was your day off so I'm guessing you didn't sleep when you got home after your shift?"

Hazel shook her head, "Not a wink."

Billy's mind went through how he could kill the man before the hearing but he knew Hazel wouldn't want that, "Next time you can't sleep I want you to call me and we'll talk until you can." Hazel went to protest and he held up a hand, "Hey, it's the least I can do."

Hazel smiled softly and sniffed back her emotions, "Thank you."

Billy took a breath and pushed open his door, "We better head in now, before my staff think we're talking about something scandalous and start gossiping."

Hazel giggled, "Good idea."

Billy didn't miss the way Hazel glanced at him when he opened her door for her, nor how she stuck so close by him as they headed to his office. Hazel smiled when she saw the marking on the wall, "The fish tank, already?"

Billy smiled, "Yeah, I wasn't going to wait. Your fish guy already came through."

They sat down at Billy's desk and he placed the files in front of them before pointing to the separate piles, "Women and here and men are here, is there anything you want to know before we start?"

Hazel nodded, "Did you create a questionnaire for this job or is this just their files?"

"It's just their files but if you think a questionnaire could help I'll get the shortlisted people to fill it out." A tiny part of Billy wished Hazel had said yes to working for him but he knew she wouldn't find it fulfilling, so he have to settle for having her help him in her free time.

"Ok, how many people are you looking for?" Hazel was already looking over the folders.

"Twenty. We're expanding fast so we'd rather have the numbers up front then be struggling for people." Hazel was deep in thought as she poured over the information and Billy was more focused on her than on the work he had to do.

"I like him, Ryan Batts. I think he'd be a good fit." She placed his file on a pile and moved on to the next one.

"Alright." Billy paused, debating whether he should push it, "Can you help me with the interviews? I promise it won't take away from work or study."

Hazel sighed, "Ok, and before you ask, I've already have to questionnaire we used for the security we hire on the ward. We can work on some extra questions that focus on this job and go from there."

Billy grinned, "I owe you. Whatever you want, name it and it's yours."

Hazel shook her head, "Your company is payment enough." She threw the file in her hand into another pile, "Not him, he'd be shit."

Billy chuckled, "You're cheap to keep."

Hazel gave him a friendly shove, "If you must pay me, you can do it cool in fabric and endless praise."

Billy raised an eyebrow, "Oh really? I can heap on the praise if you like."

Hazel picked up on his tone because she gave it right back, "Hell yeah, who doesn't love he hear what a good job they're doing? I mean, I am an honour student, of course I have a praise kink."

Billy managed to hold himself together for another beat before he broke down in laughter, "I walked right into that, didn't I?"

Hazel nodded, "You ran into it dear."

Billy composed himself and took a breath before passing her a file, "What about her."

Hazel's eye drifted over it, "Yeah, I think she'll be good."

Billy was back to grinning, "We are going to get this way faster than I thought. Good job."

Hazel giggled, "If you keep it coming we'll get it done even faster."

****

The sun had long set by the time Billy brought Hazel home, and like always, she stopped by to chat to the man in the corner before making sure the whatever it was that she placed in her door every day was still there. 

Billy watched as Hazel looked around the apartment before relaxing, "Can I ask you what you're looking for when you check your door?" Hazel looked over him as if she was trying to decide if she should give away her secret, "I'm not going to tell a soul, don't worry." 

She took a deep breath, "A piece of white string. The cop that was first on the scene really helped me. When I told him I was worried about being stalked, he told me to put things like that in place, the only other person who knows is Lizzy." She paused, "I'm sorry." 

Billy closed the distance and placed his hand on her cheek, "Why are you sorry?" 

Hazel broke his gaze, "Because you've been through war and I'm a ball of nerves for no reason." 

Billy took her face in his hands and looked into her eyes, their rims red and damp, "You have nothing to be sorry for, someone you loved tried to kill you, Hazel, you were in a fight for your life. You don't need to apologise for anything, not for being scared or not trusting anyone, and certainly not for protecting yourself." 

There was a beat and then the dam broke and Hazel fell into his chest while hers racked with sobs. Billy wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair as she cried and tried to flog back the feelings growing in his chest. 

Billy's hand squeezed Hazel's shoulder and he felt the heaving of her ribs slow, "You're ok, everything is going to be ok." She took in a shuddering breath, and then another and another and finally calmed down but she made no move to extricate her from his embrace. 

"Thank you." Hazel's voice was muffled in Billy's chest and Billy reached up and stroked her hair as he reigned in his anger. Hazel pulled away and smiled at him, "You wanna stay for some coffee?" 

Billy nodded, "Sure. You know, when Anvil expanded, we started to take in clients who have been through similar things to you and Curt started a group for them, they meet at the same place that we do. Curt wouldn't mind it if you stopped by." 

Hazel held up a hand, "No, what happened to me is nothing compare to what happens to some people, I would be taking up a seat." Despite the shake in her voice, her hands were steady as she made the coffee. 

"Do you want to talk to me about what happened? I know that part of this is coming from you not knowing if you did everything you could and it's my job to know those things. We'll treat it like an after action report, there won't be any judgement and I won't criticise you if you made a mistake. That way, you know for sure that there's nothing you could have done." Billy knew Hazel would have done everything right. 

Hazel sighed and handed Billy a cup, "You don't need to be my shoulder to cry on Billy." 

Billy shook his head, "I'm your friend, that's what I'm here for." 

Hazel rubbed her face and gestured to the couch and her and Billy sat down together, "I promised myself the first time a man yelled at me I would leave and like so many women before me, it happened and I didn't. His name was, is, Jacob Cambell, he worked at the local gym and I met him at a bar. He was a muscle head and didn't have any intellectual pursuits but he was sweet, at least I thought he was." 

She took a deep breath, "We dated for two years and I missed a lot of the signs, the tiny ones that you don't know until it's way too late. I thought he never understood my interests because I didn't communicate them well enough, I now know that he didn't listen because he didn't care. I thought he didn't understand why my job was so hard for me because he had never had any exposure to it, I know now it's because my feelings didn't matter." 

Billy took Hazel's hand in his, "Four months before he assaulted me, I suspected he was taking steroids but I didn't bring it up because he had always been insecure about his size even though he was huge," she paused for a moment, wondering if she should keep going, "He had certain inabilities that only got worse with the steroid use and it made him very very angry."

Billy was no stranger to men who turned to drugs when they felt weak, it always ended the same, "The day before, he came back from work I wasn't in the mood to talk because I had lost a kid and he yelled, told me to shut up and called me selfish and I should have told him to fuck off there and then but he apologised and started crying and I forgave him." 

Billy could see Hazel steeling herself, "The next day, the same time, he came in spitting mad, red in the face, the whole nines. He asked me if I talked to the cops, I told him I had no idea what he was talking about. He didn't listen and I told him to leave and he didn't. There was name calling and I made like I was going to pour him a drink and got my gun. I pointed it at him and told him to leave again, he lunged at me and I was stupid enough not to shoot him in the head." 

Billy squeezed her hand, "Can I interrupt?" Hazel nodded, "Even if the best shooters in the world don't aim for the head unless they know they can land the shot. I'd argue that hitting a man who's coming at you in the knee is even harder but you made the right call, had you missed, it would have been worse. So the hit landed, you told me the first time that he didn't feel it?"  

Hazel chewed her lip and shook her head, "No. He was too close to shoot him again and he hit me. I hit him back multiple times but he was a lot stronger than me and he managed to get the gun from me. He knocked the wind out of me and I fell down, then he laughed and pulled the magazine out, flicked all the bullets at me and dropped the gun next to me. He hit me again and climbed on top of me and started to strangle me." 

Billy was even more satisfied with the ending he knew was coming, "He didn't count the bullets and I did. The gun was within reach, I grabbed it, put it to his stomach and fired. The rest is history." 

Billy could see Hazel drifting and he pulled her back, "I have seen grown men with the best training in the world crumble in the same situation where you didn't. There is nothing you could have done to stop what happened to you. You got out alive, that's it, there's nothing else that matters." 

Billy could see the relief come over Hazel's face, "Are you sure you're not just saying this to make me feel better?" 

Billy shook his head, "Doing that could get you killed if it happens again. There was nothing you could have done." 

Hazel rolled her shoulders and resolve came over her face, "If he gets out, I'll deal with it. I survived once, I can do it again." 

Billy smiled, "That's just right. Do you need me to stay with you tonight?" 

Hazel shook her head, "No, I'm good."

Billy stood up and the hug that followed felt so natural, "Are we still on for dinner at my place on Saturday?"

Hazel smiled, "Of course, I'm excited to see what you cook."

Billy's chest filled with warmth as she buried herself further into his chest, "You have people in your corner Hazel. Come next week, no matter what happens, you will get through this."

Hazel pulled away and smiled, "Thank you Billy. Get home safe."

****

Hazel sighed and sipped her coffee, leaning against the wall while Lizzy looked her over, "You look great, did that fuckstain get stabbed this morning?"

Hazel shook her head, "I told Billy everything last night. He took me home after I helped him with some Anvil stuff and we went over it. After I was done, he told me there was nothing else I could have done and when I asked him if he was bullshitting me to make me feel better, he told me made it clear he wasn't. It doesn't change the fact that I feel like justice has been stolen but I feel," she thought for a moment, "I feel so much more capable now."

Lizzy grinned, "Yeah, girl. You're a fucking badass, I've been telling you that since I met you. I'm not going to be offended that it took Mr Sexy to get it to sink in, I'm just glad you finally see it."

Hazel mirrored her smile, "I know this isn't the end, and I'm still going to be a wreck but I can handle it."A buzzing in her pocket pulled her attention away, "Speaking of, that's Billy now."

Lizzy waved her hand with a smile, "Go ahead, I need to get back to the ward anyway."

'Hey, is everything alright?" Hazel didn't know what she expected but it certainly wasn't what came.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just got out of a meeting with the designer for those apartments I told you about and turns out it's going to cost us a bit more than we thought I wanted to bring something up before I pull the trigger." Billy had a feeling about what Hazel was going to say but he was going to try anyway.

"You have seven right? I think I fell asleep before I heard the rest." Hazel rubbed her face, that time in the car was the best rest she had gotten since she got the news about her Ex.

"Yeah. I'm not going to insult you by asking you to move into one, but for some reason, you need to leave your apartment in the next few months, I'd be happy to rent one to you for the same price you're paying now as long as you help me fix it up."

Billy knew there was no point in lying, she would see through it anyway, "Look, I'm not being selfless, this is going to cost us a lot and if you say yes, you'll be saving us a lot of money. We'll provide everything you need, plus some men to help you out, I just want you there to do what you did for your place."

Hazel's first response was to say yes but she didn't want to be dependent on anyone, "I'm really flattered that you think I'm that good and thank you for thinking of me but I have to say no. I need to get through this without taking a step back, I'll never feel safe again alone if I move somewhere with security all day and all night."

Billy sighed, "I understand, the offer is still there if you change your mind. I'll see you Tomorrow at my place for dinner."

Hazel took a deep breath, "I can't wait."

****

Billy had taken the night and most of the day to mull it over but he had made up his mind after his call with Hazel. He didn't even bother going into Frank's office, settling for calling him on his Anvil office phone, "I need to see the police report." 

Frank stuttered, "What police report, what are you talking about?" 

Billy bit back his anger, "Hazel's police report, I need to know what she's walking into on Thursday. She told me everything last but I need to see it for myself." 

Frank sighed, "I'll email it to you. Will Hazel be alright with this?" 

Billy somehow knew she would be, "Hazel is the most open person I know and I'll tell her on Thursday. Please Frank." 

Frank huffed, "It's in your inbox. Don't do anything stupid Bill, the woman can handle herself. You'll be able to see that as clear as day when you read it." 

"Thanks." Billy hung up the phone and rushed to open his email before taking a deep breath and clicking open the file. He read the report first and his chest swelled with pride, "offensive and defensive bruises, fingerprint marks around neck, mild powder burns on right hand." 

When Billy reached the photos, he knew he was finally better because, at that moment, the fury gave way to overwhelming clarity. If Hazel asked him, Jacob Cambell was a dead man, and if she didn't, he would bide his time until Cambell gave Billy a chance to do it anyway because men like that always do.  

Part 12

@rainbowgoblinfan

[sednonamoris]

hey.. i saw that post.. about.. thunderstruck.. and that chapter.. literally left me as a pile of dust on my bed.. do you wanna.. talk about it.. because i will listen..

ohohohhehehee…….. spoilers for ch. 23 of ghost story

starting off strong with the storm/water imagery ⛈️ admittedly ch. 1 starts with a storm bc i had a Vision for a very vibes-based chapter that then ofc spiraled into the ghost story you know and love today. then water and specifically storms became the connecting thread for most of the significant moments in the development of john and ghost’s relationship so OF COURSE i went ham. not only the storm raging when they finally admit their feelings (and fuck lol) but also the town names as they get closer and closer to that resolution. it’s a clean slate, a baptism, a rebirth. a reckoning. something magnetic and powerful and chaotic but also completely natural is exactly what the bond between them is, and the added detail of john being terrified of drowning makes it extra juicy delicious

thennn we have to talk about my close personal friend lottie reed!! 💘 i don’t describe her in too much detail but it was important to me that she shared some physical similarities with john. wiry and slim, dark hair, light eyes. it adds a layer of Insanity to his irrationally jealous response to literally everything she does. i had a blast peppering in vague details about ghost’s past with her, but to lay it all out: they met in tumbleweed when ghost was making their name as the ghost rider of new austin and had a very sweet teenage summer romance. lottie was sheltered by her parents and loved the element of danger ghost brought to her life, and ghost was charmed by how clever and genuine lottie was. when lottie’s parents set up her engagement with melvin reed it was partly bc they’d been working on it for a while and partly bc they wanted to keep her away from ghost. lottie tried to convince ghost to run away with her before the wedding, but her dad got there first and offered a sum of cash that ghost took to cut contact and leave lottie and melvin alone. (when ghost fled new austin with the money, they very quickly found themself in the predicament we see in chapter 1.) what i like about their relationship is that however you read ghost’s gender, there’s an element of forbidden romance there. ghost doesn’t get back in touch with lottie until ch. 23, which gave lottie plenty of time to come to terms with what happened and find joy of her own after melvin’s death. he wasn’t cruel, but they weren’t close. ghost is lucky she’s so kind, though, because they’ve been a pretty shit friend/ex lol

last thing i prommy but the devotion and the deliberate choosing between these two makes me craaaazy 😵‍💫 they love each other!! so much!! aaaaahhhh!! when john asks that rhetorical question - it was always gonna be you and me, wasn’t it? - it comes after being so jealous and then taking that jealousy out in every toxic way he can think of when he and ghost go through those towns and sell the horses but it feels so inevitable bc it is. he isn’t asking ghost he’s being almost self-deprecating, bc everything he’s ever done was always just buying time against feelings held for so long but only fully realized recently. god. anyways,,

THANK YOU SO MUCH for following this story and being so kind and giving me license to ramble abt my fav things there’s like a million more but i promise i’ll shut up now 💞💞💞💞

[12timetraveler]

Something In The Orange

Chapter 6

Summary:

After the Christmas party, reader and Hosea try to find some time for themselves.

Notes:

Sorry this chapter took so long. I'm still trying to do a posting schedule but... Well... I'm struggling to keep up on it. But I wanted to get this chapter out there.

Also this chapter had to be broken up into two (again) because it was getting too long. So the next chapter will wrap up Christmas break. It should be a bit shorter.

Anyway I hope you enjoy!

As always below is a little teaser. Read the full thing on AO3

~~~~~~~~

The morning after the Christmas party was quiet. Everyone was pleasantly tired after the fun night and were sleeping in, sleeping off the hangover.

You heard Hosea get up pretty early. A muted cough alerted you to him being up. A few minutes later you heard footsteps creep past your room, down the hallway and down the stairs. Part of you wanted to drift back off to sleep, but another part of you wanted to jump up and spend a little time with him.

The back door closed a few minutes later, and your decision was made. Quickly you threw on some warm clothes, sneaking down the stairs so as not to wake anyone else. You slipped on your boots and followed Hosea’s trail out into the barn.

Hosea had a hammer and was smashing the ice in one of the water barrels inside a stall when you found him. He looked grumpy and adorable, brow furrowed, grumbling under his breath as he smashed the ice.

“Need a hand?” You asked. He startled slightly, not hearing you approach. But he broke out into a wide grin.

“What are you doing up?” He asked. “I didn't wake you did I?”

“I usually get up around this time,” you shrugged. Hosea didn't really look like he believed you. “I thought it'd be nice to just... Hang out. Plus I can help look after the animals,” it sounded lame when you said it. But Hosea just smiled.

“Well alright. If you'd like,” he said. “Let me just finish this and you can help me feed ‘em all.”

“Do you have to break the ice on every bucket? Every day?”

“Well,” Hosea grunted, breaking the last of the ice. “In theory, no. I've got this waste of money in every barrel,” tugging on a black cord he lifted a small black device out of the water barrel. “This is supposed to keep the ice from forming, keep the water above freezing. But every day I have to fix one of these damn things.” He grumbled. Using his teeth he removed one of his gloves so he could inspect the device better, scraping some ice off the de-icer.

He looked around for a minute, glove still hanging out from between his teeth. “Hand me that screwdriver, wouldya?” He asked behind the glove. You grabbed the tool from the little toolbox and handed it over to him.

It was Melvin the shire who's stall Hosea was in. The big draft had been ignoring you mostly. But with a few kissy sounds you managed to coax him over for some skritches.

“Hey there big boy,” you murmured. “Look at you all shaggy with your winter coat. Bet you feel nice and warm,” Melvin huffed out a hot breath of air at you. He snuffled at your jacket, looking for treats. He found none, but seemed to decide your scratches were worth hanging around.

“He likes you,” Hosea noted, still talking around his glove. You glanced over to see he'd stopped tinkering with the de-icer to watch you. You rolled your eyes and reached out, grabbing the glove and tugging it lightly from between his teeth. “Oh thank you,” he mumbled, like he forgot he was still holding it like that. “Arthur and John can't hold this old brute’s attention for more than a couple seconds.”

“He's just a big softy,” you cooed, turning back to Melvin. “Aren't you? You're just a big fluffy teddy bear. Yes you are.”

Hosea chuckled at you, baby talking the giant horse, before turning back to the task at hand. After a few minutes he seemed to find the problem.

“Oh you goddamn piece of shit,” he growled. “Wire came loose on this one too. God. Cheap piece of crap. I'm gonna have to find new ones. This is ridiculous. Never buying this brand again.” He was muttering to himself, and you had to bite your tongue to keep from giggling at him.

A few minutes later Hosea seemed to have it fixed, and the little device began humming. “There. God,” he growled, dropping the device back into the barrel to do its job. He stepped forward and patted Melvin on the neck. “There you go, boy. Now you should have liquid water for... Well until it breaks again.”

Melvin snorted and stomped his foot. As the big horse turned to go he bumped his nose against Hosea, pushing him back just a step before lumbering out into the run that attached to his stall.

“Oh fine. I see how it is. Pretty face shows up and gives you attention and I can just go hang,” Hosea called after the horse. You giggled, handing Hosea back his glove and taking the screwdriver to put back in the tool box.

“So, how can I help?” You asked. Hosea handed you the hammer.

“Would you check everyone else's waters? Break the ice if you see any, and let me know which ones need fixing. I'll start getting everyone's breakfast put together.”

Chores went by quickly and easily from there. Boadicea’s water was frozen, but you were able to break up the ice. That one was an easy fix, as Bo herself had been playing with the de-icer it seemed, and had pulled it out of the water barrel, so you just had to put it back in.

Then you joined Hosea in the feed room, where he was meticulously scooping out different feed mixtures at different ratios into the different feed buckets. You could tell he had it down to a science, and knew each animal's diet by heart. Once he had them filled with their grains and meals, the two of you added some warm water to make a mash, and began distributing the food to each resident of the barn. Additionally grain was tossed to the chickens in their indoor winter coop, and vegetable scraps from last night's feast were passed out. Most went to Buster the pig, but everyone got a little.

Finally Hosea declared you were done, grabbing a dog bowl and filling it with wet and dry food for Copper, who was likely still snoring in Arthurs room, and taking it inside with you. The house was quiet, everyone else still sleeping.

“I'll go release the hound if you want to get coffee started,” Hosea suggested, setting the dog bowl of food on the kitchen floor. “Normally he's up with Arthur and eats in the barn, but I guess he's sleeping in as well.”

“Sure,” you said, stepping up to the coffee machine while Hosea quietly ascended the stairs to get Copper. You'd seen Hosea make coffee enough to know where everything was, and you began brewing a slightly stronger brew, knowing the house’s occupants would need the boost.

Just as you turned on the machine you heard the scrambling of paws on the floor above, headed down the stairs and straight for you. Turning so your back was to the counter, you braced yourself for the sloppy good-morning kiss from Copper.

Almost on cue the hound rounded the corner, pausing at his food bowl, but passing it by when he saw you. You laughed quietly as he jumped up, placing his front paws on your shoulders. God he was a big boy. He may have been crossed with a vizsla, but his size was all coonhound. He was easily 80 lbs, and he would have knocked you over if you hadn’t been prepared. But actually he was pretty good at holding his own weight when he jumped up on you, even when he bayed in your face before covering you in slobbery kisses.

“Good morning to you too,” you said, trying to keep your voice down so as not to wake anyone. As if the dog hadn't just sounded an alarm fit to wake the whole ranch.

“Copper, down,” Hosea's sharp, hushed command immediately caught the dogs attention, and he flopped his head back to look at Hosea, and let out another bay. “Shhh shh. Okay look,” Hosea picked up Copper's bowl. “You want breakfast?” The dog pushed himself off of you, coming to sit at Hosea's feet. “Better. Thank you. Here.” He said, setting the bowl down for the dog to eat. “Sorry about him.”

“It's fine,” you laughed, grabbing a paper towel to wipe the drool from your face.

“He’s got quite the mind of his own. Even our trainer says with hounds you don't command, you negotiate,” he chuckled. “We've found a pretty good balance but if he sets his mind to it, well,” Hosea shrugged.

“He's just a big softy. Like his boy,” you chuckled. Just like Arthur, Copper could be loud, and certainly could throw his weight around, but really they were both just goofy boys looking for some fun.

“Yeah,” Hosea chuckled, looking down at the dog fondly. “Anyway, is that coffee ready? I don't know about you but I sure need a boost.”

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

It's so specific but, I'll always be thankful for River Phoenix for getting me into Fugazi when I was really young. I swear he is just one of the coolest guys to me.

"Run to the rescue with love, and peace will follow" I'm genuinely thinking about tattooing it on my boday forever wut, got me in my feels

I'm also a big fan of rock, and I was interested on your opinions regarding Alice in Chains or any Seattle bands at the time if you know..Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Mother love Bone...

Seven Year Bitch and Melvins are probably my favourites from 90s Seattle bands. I love Soundgarden though - Superunkown is one of the greatest albums of all time, and I feel super privileged to have gotten to see them live before Chris passed away.

I enjoy Alice in Chains and Pearl Jam to a lesser extent - in the sense that I only really know the "hits" and don't go out of my way to listen to them, but I don't dislike them.

[j-graysonlibrary]

Heartbeats; Paradise Epilogue

Title: Heartbeats; Paradise

Author: Jay Grayson

Word Count: 112K

Genres: Psychological thriller, drama, sci-fi, LGBT+

Available on: Kobo and my website

Synopsis: Melvin Hardy and Kade Axel appear to be a match made in heaven. After a meet-cute in the rain, the two quickly find themselves in a burgeoning, wholesome relationship.

Yet, things feel…off. It isn’t the ghosts of their pasts that resurface to test the strength of their partnership—no—it’s something nebulous. Something indescribable. Melvin can’t put his finger on it but, the more time he spends with Kade, the more he starts to wonder what’s real and what’s pure fiction. 

Full epilogue under the cut:

Epilogue:

The dim lighting in the kitchen sets the mood for dinner and those gorgeous eyes meet mine and I hold that gaze for a long while. Kade smiles at me as our hands are clasped over the table. A large meal, made up of many parts and a result of hours of care and work in the kitchen, sits between us.

It’s a special occasion though bittersweet in nature.

I usually cook for us but Kade took on the task today. He wants to do everything he can for me on this day—even if I don’t think that’s entirely fair. The gesture is sweet, however; I can admit that. Besides, it’s the intent that truly matters and I’m already planning ways that I can pay him back in the following days.

It’s been a year since Oswald Friar was taken to jail, forever leaving our lives and gifting us this peace and quiet. As I said, the anniversary doesn’t necessarily hold the best memories for us but it’s still worth looking back and appreciating how far we’ve come.

Pictures from that fateful night pop into my mind and, while they’re fuzzy, I still want to swat them away.

The way I felt when I saw Kade tied to that bed was like nothing I’d ever felt before and like nothing I ever want to feel again. Even if my memory is spotty—blanked out by the rage I flew into—I know what it makes me feel. What I’m missing in those empty spaces, I can fill in with the gut knowing I have.

Kade is the same way though we barely ever speak of it anymore. He buried most of the experience deep down and only recalls me rushing into that apartment and beating Oswald until the cops came.

I glance to our hands, laced together on the table, and I scan over the scars on my wrist. My brow twitches and I feel my stomach churn but I give it no further thought. I squeeze his hand.

“You really didn’t have to make all this just for me,” I say for what feels like the millionth time.

Kade chuckles and then shakes his head. He’s let his hair grow out some and he looks like an angel from a renaissance painting come to life. “It’s the least I can do for my hero. Every year, starting now, I want to celebrate you and thank you for saving my life.”

“But I should be the one cooking for you after everything you went through.”

He squeezes my hand in return but glances away. I fear I’ve upset him by mentioning his trauma too directly but he sighs and looks back at me. A smile hangs on in spite of everything. “You can appreciate me in other ways, you know.”

That sly look is unmistakable and I find myself grinning. “Don’t tease me,” I say and finally pull my hand away from his. If I don’t, we’ll just sit here and stare into each other’s eyes until our food goes cold.

Kade follows my lead but he does wait for me to take a bite before picking up his utensils. “Is it any good?” he asks, leaning forward with anticipation.

“Perfect,” I tell him, “Just like you.”

The blush I love so dearly blossoms across his cheeks and he looks down at his plate. He busies himself with eating and I keep my gaze on him when I can while I enjoy the wonderful meal he’s made for me. My mind, however, races with what we’ll do after dinner.

Of course, I’ll wash the dishes and clean up but, after that…

We have all night to be together and I intend to savor every second with my love. In my mind’s eye, I see our bodies intertwined, under the sheets and painted in the blue light of the moon as it pours into the room. The romantic imagery of my mind’s eye is so realistic I could get lost in it.

A thump against my foot gets my attention back on my love. Kade shoots me a lopsided grin and I realize that it’s his foot which taps against mine under the table. He pushes against me once more and I think that he must be able to see the direction my thoughts are taking me through the expression on my face alone. The corner of his lip hikes even further up and he says, “Wanna skip dishes?”

I mimic his smile. “Maybe.”

We’re both ready to jump up and race each other to the bedroom but, before we can even scoot our chairs back, the lights cut out.

My heart skips a beat at the suddenness of it but I collect my thoughts quickly. I pull my phone from my pocket and try to turn on the flashlight but the screen won’t even turn on. I push the button a few times and nothing happens. That’s strange—I could have sworn that I charged the thing this morning.

“Shit…what the hell?” I mumble before taking a stand.

There is a window nearby so I pull the curtain to the side and open the blinds, letting in the orange glow from the solar powered streetlamp below. It isn’t great but it lets me see a little better.

I turn back to the table and notice that Kade hasn’t moved at all. He’s not looking at me or the light from the window—he’s just staring straight ahead.

In a rush of thought and repressed feeling, I’m hit with the realization that the fog is gone. And not stilled or diluted—gone. There is a lot wrong with what’s been happening lately and while I’d like to sort those issues out, Kade takes precedence.

I return to the table and lean down to get a better look at him. Half of his face is still hidden in darkness but the half that’s illuminated strikes me.

A lump forms in my throat as I look at him. He’s still not moving and I’m reminded of my co-workers and so many other, lifeless people I’ve come across over the past year and a half in this small town.

I wave my hand in front of his face, watching for any signs of life. “Kade…?” I call out to him but I keep my voice down, soft and low.

Nothing.

“Kade!” I jump to shouting instantly and I shake him. At least, when I move him, his brows push together. There could still be something—someone—in there. “Kade…” I hold my breath as I watch him.

His mouth moves as if he wants to say something and his eyebrows turn up as a tear slips down his cheek. It takes minutes although it feels like hours but he slowly looks up at me.

He’s scared.

“Kade, what’s wrong?” I ask before insisting, “Talk to me!”

He blinks and another tear falls. His eyes burn straight through me.  “She’s gone…”

My chest seizes and I grab both of his shoulders, needing to hold onto something and also hoping to push him to tell me more. “Who is she?” I ask, tightening my grip.

Is it the same “she” Oswald spoke of? The same “she” that I heard in my head? The same “she” who’s done everything? Who’s controlled our lives?

Kade’s bottom lip trembles and he asks me, “What do I do now?”

I don’t know what to say to that—I’m not even sure what he means. I also don’t want to interrupt him since I see him gulp and prepare to speak again.

His eyes dart around the room as if he’s trying to find something to focus on other than me. “She’s not telling me what to do…my head…it’s…it’s…”

“It’s what?” I urge, hanging onto every word.

Kade blinks and then whispers, just loud enough for me to hear, “Empty.”