#thanks for NOTHING AUGUST!!!!
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idolatry | august '23
#thanks for NOTHING AUGUST!!!!#ugliest month of the year. easily#index: rows#1. idolatry - worship#2. he (me) who lives by the low rise jeans dies by the low rise jeans#3. soup. i love soup so much. when im having a particularly bad ms episode and i cant stand the sight for food soup is so easy & gud🥹#4. if youve been here long enough you already know about my dill pickle problem#5. faces & friends on the beach#wanna give some deep reflections on august but i really learned nothing except for i have an unspeakably shitty problem with relationships#its like my 4th relationship of the year. 5 if we count a 2 month long situationship. i just cant hold a relationship down#i self sabotage and i get really disinterested and withdrawn. how do you even fix that#anyway i suppose the silver lining about it is that it made me consider spending my bday this year with my dad#if i cant hold a relationship down maybe i need to work on my familial relationships#i hope i dont regret it HEHE!#and last but not least: remember to romanticise your life girlies#thats the only way you can get through it 😍🔫#photography series
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…yeah that’s all i got
#i don’t usually make these but#god fuck this episode was so many emotions at once#first and for most fuck august im sorry#second of all goddamn jimmy had me in tears during the party#he loves day so much he’s willing to step aside for august if it makes day happy#because nothing is more important than day being okay#and i’m SICK#and unwell#i hope they talk more i need this resolve please god#and i hope i also never see august again thank you goodnight <3#last twilight#last twilight the series#morkday#mhokday#mork x day#mhok x day#jimmysea#jimmy jitaraphol#sea tawinan#last twilight textpost#last twilight episode 6#jimmy potiwihok
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Do you have any fic idea based on S4 and especially about five that you might write?
Honestly? I have nothing. I've got my other WIPs percolating still, and S4, much like S3, didn't spark much for me. I think part of why I don't mind the ending of S4 is that it is so final there is zero pressure to comply with canon - it all ends, so do whatever you want.
My happy spot for fic writing is post S2, biased because I spent the most time sitting and thinking about the characters with the first two seasons as a unit (because I first watched the show after S2 came out) and I like to ignore large plot points of S3 -- and now also large plot points of S4.
That's not say I'll never have any S4 thoughts to write (I'm a big believer in never say never), but for now I've got nothing. I'd rather keep thinking about my Five-Patch-Lila Team-Up To Rescue Diego fic, or the next installments for Shifting Together.
#i have lots of thoughts for how i would have changed s4 to fix the pacing and make characters act like themselves to achieve the plot points#but nothing in a form I want to actually write out#more thought exercises#thanks for the ask!#august was a crazy month for me so i'm hoping september is chiller and i have more time do actually write#ask response#tua s4 spoilers
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August: Day 3
Adventures
Unexpectedly received a slice of turtle cheesecake. It was divine.
Saw a golden retriever puppy
Accomplishments
Cleaned the bathroom (which is an accomplishment, because I wasn't sure I'd be able to get it done in the free time I had today)
Had to pump up my tire again. Methinks it may be time to get a new tire
#adventures in august#if i weren't so strict about not discussing work#i'd have a good one for both categories#(nothing distressing thank goodness just mild hassle)
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How Auguste Gave Laurent ‘The Talk'
The best thing about an Augustelives!verse where the Regent never existed is that young Laurent gets to learn about sex in a normal way
CW: 'the talk', discussion of consensual sex, coming out? kinda, mention of Hennike's repeated pregnancy loss. The whole thing is just Auguste being a good brother
Read on AO3 (rated T, 2k words)
“What’s a consummation?”
Startled, Auguste looked up from his work, the endless papers scattered in piles on the table before him.
Laurent stood at the other end of the table, reading from one of the pages. It was a drafted schedule for Auguste’s wedding celebration, one of the countless items he had worked on with the council to prepare for the days ahead.
“It’s part of the wedding ceremony,” Auguste said, trying to keep the response light and easy, hoping Laurent didn’t pry further. He continued his letter writing, his pen scratching across the page.
Laurent didn’t let him off easy. “I’m not invited to it.” It was not a question.
Auguste paused his writing mid-sentence. His brother was young still, and sweetly innocent. Auguste would not initiate a conversation he was not ready for. “It's for the adult guests only.”
Laurent’s brow furrowed. Auguste could sense an internal debate being endured— there was something else.
“Is that because there will be fucking?” asked Laurent.
"What?" He nearly dropped his pen. “Where did you hear that?”
Laurent stood straighter, flush rising in his cheeks. “The councilors told me.”
Auguste raised his eyebrows.
Laurent quickly caved: “I overheard them talking about it," he said, which meant that he had been sitting outside of the council room door for the entire meeting. Again.
"Laurent--" Auguste sighed, pressing the pads of his fingertips to his eyes. It wasn't the first time Laurent had overheard something he was not supposed to hear, especially during meetings of state. The council members tended to use colorful vocabulary amongst each other, resulting in occasional slips that were overheard by his brother's innocent ears. With Auguste's impending wedding, the topics of conversation at this week's council meeting had strayed into the business of the marriage bed. He should have expected Laurent to overhear, should have prepared something to say.
"It's not--" Auguste started, but he stopped and tried again. “‘Fucking' isn't a polite term to use.” It came out sterner than he intended.
The tips of Laurent's ears flushed pink, the color slowly spreading across his cheeks. "Sorry," he said, dipping his chin.
Auguste sighed, softening. "Do you know what it means?"
Laurent's flush deepened, as it always did when he was asked something he did not know. It didn’t happen often.
Auguste surveyed his little brother across the far end of the table, really seeing him, as was so easy to overlook in everyday life. Laurent was almost a young man now. He was sharp, inquisitive. He studied whatever texts and maps and treaties he could get his hands on. But, like all scholars, he was limited to the contents of the library in which he dwelled, in this case, the royal library in Arles. Someone needed to tell him about the ways of the world, the things that he could not research in books. Both of their parents were gone now, and with startling realization, he recognized that the responsibility fell to him.
Auguste pushed out the chair adjacent to him, where his most trusted advisor would sit if this was a council meeting.
Laurent had joined him at this table countless times before, the act comfortable to them both, but today he approached tentatively, his posture rigid. He sat.
Auguste peered at Laurent’s downcast face. Was he—shy? Perhaps he had already been too harsh. Pity welled within him, deep in his stomach. “You're not in trouble," Auguste said.
Laurent sat very still, avoiding his gaze. They sat for a moment in tense silence.
Finally, Auguste said, "Tell me what you’ve heard.” He knew Laurent would be honest with him. Even if his cheeks colored and he stumbled to find the words, he would tell the truth.
“They said you would…” Laurent paused. “That the marriage,” he continued, “would be consummated after the ceremony. And that the council would witness it.”
“Yes, that’s true,” Auguste said.
Laurent held his gaze. “I looked up consummation in the dictionary.” His expression changed, his brow furrowing. "It doesn't-- I don't get it."
Auguste pursed his lips; his tongue felt like sand in his mouth. “Have you read about sex before?”
Laurent gave the slightest shake of his head. His cheeks darkened further.
“It’s hard to… It isn’t…” Auguste felt the heat start to spread across his own face. He might actually catch fire any second now.
Laurent sat very still and straight on the edge of his chair. He waited.
Auguste rubbed his weary forehead. It was during moments like these that he missed their parents the most. “I wasn’t expecting to have this conversation with you tonight,” he admitted, releasing a half-formed laugh.
Laurent didn't waver.
Auguste felt sweat beginning to prickle the back of his neck. He hoped no one was around to hear this, for both his and Laurent’s sake. “When two people love each other very much,” he started, but that made him cringe. He cleared his throat. “When people,” he started again, “wish to be physically intimate, and it’s what they both want, they can choose to have sex. Erm, with each other,” he finished awkwardly. He actually wanted to catch fire now.
Laurent was still looking at him inquisitively.
“Those people can use their genitals, and, uh, put them together,” Auguste swallowed thickly. He could tell Laurent was trying to compose a neutral expression, trying and failing to hide his disgust. “During a consummation, that’s what the council needs to witness.” Auguste scratched at his sweat-dampened temple.
“Do you really have to?” Laurent asked.
“In front of the council?” Auguste asked. Consummations were voyeuristic in nature, yes, but it was tradition. He didn’t think about it too much.
“No,” said Laurent quickly, shaking his head. “Do you have to do.. uh.. it.”
Auguste examined his brother’s face carefully. “You mean if I have to have sex?”
Laurent paused, but slowly he nodded, his eyes round and blue.
Auguste knew his brother was a very green innocent, as he had intentionally kept him so, especially after their parents were gone. The burden of raising Laurent himself was a heavy weight to bear, but it was one he bore with great sincerity. As far as he knew, Laurent was still unaware of the functional purpose of pets, what happened at late-night arena shows, and the business of the brothels in town. Even now, the young man sitting before him may not understand the full implications of what he was asking, but Auguste wouldn’t lie to him.
“Yes,” he said, carefully. "I do."
Laurent’s face scrunched in his distaste. “But do you want to have sex?”
“Well, um, yes,” Auguste replied, stumbling, unable to contain his blush. “But that’s okay. I want to have sex with her, as she does with me.”
Now Laurent just looked alarmed.
Auguste’s mind reeled as he tried to explain this in a way that made sense to a naïve mind. “It’s, uh, generally thought of as a pleasant thing to do.”
“Oh,” said Laurent. This was news to him. His brow was still furrowed, his eyes cast to the table in thought.
Auguste softened, wishing he had prepared for this moment. His own feelings of inadequacy as a stand-in parent loomed over his head. “A lot of people have sex regularly. It’s normal. And fun, even. For a wedding, the council observes the first time to make sure the marriage is properly consummated.”
“Why?”
“It validates the union. And in this case, to make sure the heirs are the king’s.” Auguste had carefully avoided an extra-marital pregnancy for years, which was especially forbidden for the Crown Prince of Vere. He had not yet adjusted to the idea of pregnancy being desirable. It was strange for him to think about, even now, days away from the wedding.
Laurent’s expression opened up at the mention of heirs, as if he hadn’t connected babies with sex until just now. More questions formed. Auguste prepared himself.
“You're going to make an heir in front of the council?” he asked.
“Perhaps,” said Auguste. “I'd like to, but it may take a while."
"How, exactly? Why does it take a long time? Could it take all night?"
Auguste wondered if he looked as sweaty as he felt. "No, I mean..." he waited for the words to come. They didn't.
Laurent waited patiently.
Auguste cleared his throat. “When a penis is put in a vagina during sex, and at the end there’s…” he didn’t finish that sentence. Too much for today, perhaps. Thankfully, Laurent didn’t ask, so he didn’t elaborate. “Sometimes, a few weeks later, a pregnancy will take, and eventually a baby is born.”
"Sometimes," Laurent echoed.
“The right, uh, parts have to be present during sex for a pregnancy to happen. And even then, it doesn't always happen right away. Sometimes you have to have sex many times over many months to conceive a baby. You took years for Mom and Dad—” he stopped abruptly.
Perhaps this was too far.
But Laurent perked up at the mention of their parents. “Mom and Dad?”
Auguste remembered his mother, the pregnancies, the life that drained from her with each passing loss. The joy when, finally, a second son was born. He remembered, even though he was only a boy at the time. Carefully, he said: “You were very wanted.”
Laurent seemed somewhat satisfied with this answer. He mulled it over, deep in thought. Auguste saw another question coming before Laurent spoke.
“What if,” Laurent started to ask, but he lost his confidence halfway through, and went silent again.
“Go on.”
Laurent spoke slowly, each word carefully selected. “What if the sex doesn't have the right parts for pregnancy? What if two men...?”
Auguste felt a knot in his chest. They had danced around the conversation of Laurent’s tastes for months, but it never quite came about. He wanted Laurent to realize for himself what he wanted, and to trust him with the information, knowing either of those could take a long time. They had come close to speaking of it only once, when Auguste caught Laurent lingering around the soldiers’ training arena, nervously saying he was there to study, the book in front of him unopened. At the time, Auguste hadn’t pried.
“That’s okay too, although there would be no heirs. But many people prefer to have sex that way.”
Laurent thought about this.
“Does everyone have a consummation when they get married?” Laurent asked.
“It's traditional in noble families,” said Auguste.
"Will I?"
“Only if you want one. You get the final say.”
Laurent pressed a crumb into the table with his index finger. It crackled against the wood. “I think I’d like to marry a man, one day.”
Auguste's heart bloomed with warmth, bursting outwards with brotherly affection, watching his brother grow up. It sparked the flame of protectiveness within him, the same that had been burning ever since Laurent was left within his care. He would do anything for his little brother, to make sure he got the life that he wanted, to provide for him in all the ways their parents would now never be able to.
“Then you shall,” Auguste said, more of a promise than anything else.
Laurent smiled at him like he was his entire world. The tips of his ears were still pink, but his shoulders began to relax. “I’m glad I don’t have to go to your consummation.”
Auguste laughed, genuinely. “I’m glad you don’t either.” The pressure eased a bit from his broad shoulders.
Auguste felt like Laurent was growing up too fast, that they were running out of time. His baby brother wasn’t a baby anymore. “One day, when you’re ready, you can decide to have sex with someone, if you’d like.”
Laurent scrunched his nose, a half-hearted expression that Auguste saw right through. The day would come, was coming, when someone would catch Laurent’s eye. No matter how long it took, Auguste would never be ready for it. He felt a knot rise in his throat, and with it the impulse to beg Laurent to stay little forever.
Instead, he said: “You should love him, whoever he is. I have no doubt you will choose someone worthy of you.”
Laurent nodded sincerely. “I will.” And he would, for no other reason than to honor his brother’s advice.
Auguste knew his words would not be wasted. He paused for a moment, allowing Laurent to ask additional questions if he had them, but none came. Auguste sat forward in his chair again, picking up his pen.
“I have a few more letters to get through, if you want to stay,” he offered. He knew Laurent's favorite way to spend an evening was at his side, answering letters, trying to run their country, together.
Laurent nodded eagerly, sitting forward as well. He picked up the next letter in the stack, broke the seal, and began to read.
#this is fully embracing the fact that laurent will grow up and meet damen one day#thanks for joining me on this episode of weird ideas my brain has to write out#laurent of vere#auguste of vere#fanfic#laurent & auguste#auguste is a good brother#and nothing makes my heart happier than to think about how good of a brother he was to Laurent#captive prince
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🍷
#im in such a bad and low mood :<#it's not just my period hormones 🥴#my wireless headphones worked fine all of yesterday and today when i wake up they're blinking#they're liked fucked up... i turn them off but they constantly turn themselves back on. when i connect them to my ipad they constantly#keep disconnecting and shutting off and turning on 🙃 it makes me so angry bc i need to wear them basically all the time#bc all the noise from neighbors and my family and outside is driving me crazy#but they just dont work anymore?? plus i cant afford new ones... esp now which brings me to my next point#bc of my mom having troubles w school and loans and work etc she was like yeah u guys might have to pay for me this summer so we'll be#proper poor 😄 she doesnt WANT that either but it just sucks bc i got $300 every month and i can barely afford anything as is#yeah so there is no chance of me buying new headphones until at least august or september ......#then im annoyed bc my sisters are passive aggressive 24/7 and hate my existence and my mom is depressed lol#and i have no one to talk to or be with. it's summer and i wanna do stuff but i just dont wanna do it alone lmao#and then im just sad bc of many things.....#also i hate myself bc im a loser failure piece of shit but like yeah that's normal for me to feel#i just hate everything and it's so hard to endure this lame ass existence skskskskks#why cant ANYTHING be good ever in my life??#i am garbage and im surrounded by bad things lmao... anyways can i just stop breathing now pls#and it's not just a 'tiny' thing like my headphones not working like it might seem to others#but when u live a life where NOTHING is good or NOTHING works everything just piles on#ppl dont seem to understand that normally bc most ppl have some good things in their lives#so they just cannot comprehend what it's like when nothing works on any level in your life lok#ofc im depressed ofc im angry and bitter and dejected. i have no good things or moments at all in my life. that tears u down#i mean ofc i could be living in an active warzone and that'd be .. pretty awful i can imagine. but yeah... my situation is still not ideal#like i mean i do actually try to practice gratitude of having a roof over my head my own room water in the pipes and food so i dont starve#i am thankful for that bc many ppl dont even have that#i still feel depressed tho <3#idk what im talking abt now i just feel SO bad and i have no one to talk to#i have nothing to do... no help no treatment... everyone hates me and wants me dead......#why should i fight when no one cares abt me anyway... well.. i mean i do wanna experience more nature but like idk#im just so exhausted... why cant i ever have smth good in my life that also dont go away after a short while lol
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let your spotify predict your 2024! shuffle your on repeat playlist and the first twelve songs represent your 2024!
tagged by @playlistsorters ily <3
January: stomach by aly & aj
February: shy boy by carly rae jepsen
March: shake it off by taylor swift
April: bloom (live) by troye sivan
May: renegade by big red machine and taylor swift
June: hard times by paramore
July: say don't go by taylor swift
August: i can see you by taylor swift
September: stadium love by carly rae jepsen
October: running out of time by paramore
November: sunchoke by aly & aj
December: dance the night by dua lipa
Tagging @coelura @emmowned @heartstringsduet @herefortarlos @welcometololaland @iboatedhere <3
#you know what? slay tbh#you know like 'nothing i do makes it better' in january so she starts therapy in february and is shaking it off by march#i can see you about my trip in august#ending with dance the night for my 30th birthday#this was fun thank u mary <3
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Sims 4 Valicer Outfit Fun II -- CC Edition
We interrupt your regularly-scheduled Chill Valicer Save updates with another "watch me play dress-up with my OT3 in Sims 4" post, courtesy of me downloading a bunch of custom content outfits a few weeks ago and having period brain this past weekend. :p Sometimes you gotta keep it simple, you know? Anyway, here's some new outfits for Smiler, Victor, and Alice, all with a lovely CC bent --
First up, Smiler in an outfit from @the-crypt-o-club's 2022 Simblrween offering, Angsty Adolescence! The half-plain-black, half-black-and-yellow-checked pants were a MUST -- they remind me a bit of what Agent Joytide was wearing during the Smiler Takeover! The alternating yellow-and-black plastic bracelets also felt very appropriate to The Smiler's general theme, and of course I had to give them the yellow sneakers with the happy face and rainbow doodles and the cute Freezer Bunny t-shirt in yellow. XD I think Smiler's also sporting some custom eye make-up, though I don't know if that's from this particular pack or one of The Crypt-O-Club's other Simblrween offerings. Looks good, though -- great for a party outfit!
Next up, let's have a Victorian Smiler, courtesy of @simmerofthedawn and their Men's Day Wear set from Part One of their Victorian Collection! This is a great set of men's suits, in both darker colors for Autumn/Winter and lighter palettes for Spring/Summer, so you'll always have a suit appropriate to the season! Plus they made a copy of the Vampires top hat and gave it SO many more swatches -- "33 shades" as per their own post! Seriously, the set is worth downloading just for THAT ALONE in my opinion. I naturally had to put Smiler in the swatch that contained the most yellow, and that proved to be this particular outfit -- even if the colors are a tad more muted than I'd like. Still, they look snazzy, and it is SO NICE to have a top hat that matches their outfit perfectly! :D
We now move onto Victor's section, featuring him in his Crypt-O-Club outfit -- or, at least, one of their Freezer Bunny shirts from the Angsty Adolescence collection, in a kicky blue. I'm not 100% sure on the shorts and shoes, though I would GUESS they're also CC, as that's what I was mainly working with during this "playing dress-up in CAS" section. *shrug* Either way, he looks pretty nice -- I think this would be a good "workout" look for him!
Back to Simmer Of The Dawn's Men's Day Wear for this picture, with Victor showing off one of the darker swatches for his outfit. In fact, I chose this particular outfit because it's actually as close to a "canon" Victor outfit as I'll probably ever get! The top half isn't quite right -- wrong type of necktie, waistcoat fastens too low down, coat tails are too long -- but it's still good, and the pants are REALLY good. Maybe a BIT dark, but still REALLY close to Victor's canon trousers. I approve. :D
And while we're on the "Victor in actual Victorian clothes" train, here's Victor sporting a suit from Simmer Of The Dawn's Victorian Collection Part Four -- the Men's Day Suit collection! These also come in darker tones for Autumn/Winter and lighter ones for Spring/Summer, and feature higher waistcoats, slightly different tails on the coats, and bow ties. Victor's in a Spring/Summer light blue ensemble because I thought it looked nice on him and fit his usual color scheme, paired with a pretty gray top hat. Perfect for a promenade around town!
The top hat from Simmer Of the Dawn remains, but we move onto a different creator for this outfit (minus the gloves and shoes) -- Historical Sims Life on blogspot, with their Boldness Beckons outfit converted from Sims 3! This is a nice, more wintery look for Victor, bundled up with a thick neck scarf against the cold. :) He looks very smart indeed!
And finally, we end on a couple of Alice outfits, starting again with Crypt-O-Club's stuff! Alice here is sporting a dress from I believe the DIY Or Die fan pack -- what can I say, it looked really good on her! The shoes are another swatch of the Angsty Adolescence Converse (seriously, I love those, with all the fun doodles all over them -- you can customize them for any personality), while the stockings should ALSO be Angsty Adolescence, but might be from another pack -- I've downloaded ALL their "fan made stuff packs" at this point, so. . . XD Still, it's a great "punk princess" look for her I feel!
And as for the Victorian look, I found this by @vintagesimstress -- the 1890s Working Girl Mini-Set! A couple of blouses and a trio of skirts based off what working-class ladies wore in the 1890s, as indicated -- Alice is wearing the shortest of the three skirt lengths because I like being able to see her feet. XD The set also comes with an apron overlay that you can put on as an "accessory" (under the "tights/stocking" option), but I forgot to put that on ^^;. Still, it's nice to see Alice in a classic Victorian blouse and skirt! Even if it's a bit weird to see her in anything that long. XD
And there we have it! I hope you enjoyed this CAS post -- NEXT week, back to the Chill Valicer Save and the store!
#sims 4#looks#fashion#smiler alton#smiler always#victor van dort#alice liddell#custom content#yeah I went on a bit of a downloading spree in August and grabbed a bunch of Victorian men's clothes#and the crypt-o-club stuff as mentioned#what can I say I wanted to give my Sims new looks XD#(plus I was working on Sim versions of my OTHER coaster OCs for the other Alton Towers rides#and the Crypt-O-Club stuff in particular seemed well-suited for them#once I've got my designs a bit more finalized I'll show those off!)#really pleased with the Victorian suits#it's hard to find good clothes for male Sims sometimes!#but these come in a bunch of nice swatches :D#and seriously if nothing else get the top hat recolors#you will thank me for having more top hat options for your fancy Sims#queued
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🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?
Hi! Thank you for the ask! 🧡
A theory I disagree with is that August's ending is a punishment. I liked the scene with the chat with Vincent and Nils pointing out the being part of the royals sucks and we see August beginning to realise it might not be all that it's cracked up to be, but when we see August carrying out royal duties, I hate to say it, he is good at them and looks like he enjoys it.
He did have some character growth in S3 but even if he has potential to grow more, to me I don't see him ever having the strength of character to stand up to the monarchy. He will do exactly what they say, when they say.
August enjoys power. It makes him feel safe and his sense of self is almost entirely based on his status. Even if he has potential to change, at the moment I see no motivation or necessity for him to do so. He may have certain freedoms restricted but I can't see that being a dealbreaker for him. And frankly, even if this is a "be careful what you wish for" message, I still don't think someone like him should be given power and given how message-y the end felt, it was a strange message to end on.
I do actually think August has potentially the most interesting post series story but I disagree that his ending was a punishment.
#it's also not a revolution#with august in the monarchy nothing will change#it won't be abolished it won't be modernised (at least not by august) it will just plod along#yr s3#ask game#thanks for the ask!#young royals
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"Maybe the amount of extraordinary things that happen in your life depends on what you notice."
[Which, of course, is easier when one is on vacation and happens to stay at one of the, imho, most beautiful places in existence]
#vacation time#the chaos talks#our stay had some ups and downs (mostly due to people being people meaning there's always potential for conflicts)#but all in all it was wonderful to enjoy the peace and quiet and the wonderful countryside and the amazing food#even the car ride was rather peaceful#we listened to some audio books and enjoyed watching the landscape change as we passed through#lots of 'nothing' to look at#also the ocean was very cold (it's the Atlantic - i didn't really expect anything different) but swimming in it was still very nice#the biggest downside was the huge wildfire that happened to be not that far away from my aunt's place where we stayed#that was really scary#all because some idiots thought having a barbecue in the middle of summer when everything is bone-dry would be a good idea#thanks guys you just caused ~7.000 hectares of land to burn down just so you could have your steak. great job.#july 2023#august 2023
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hey I just wanted to give you guys a heads up that though I said in a previous post I would try to have chapter 15 ready by this sunday (march 10) that’s definitely not going to happen (I’m so sorry once again).
I’m pretty confident I can have it ready to post by Saint Paddy’s day though!! (that’s march 17 for the heathens). I’ve got the luck of the Irish on my side guys trust me, I feel it in my bones 💪🍀🇮🇪
#I feel like I’ve been really dragging my feet on this chapter im sorry#I was going through some burn out for a bit and now I’m back to writing but I’m making some big edits#and I just know two more days isn’t enough time to get this chapter to a place where I’ll be happy with it#it’s auguste giving me trouble again. no one is surprised. that man istg. work with me here please im begging#I may have to cut his pov from this chapter entirely#I like some of what I’ve written for him but this is perhaps not the time for it yet#anyway thank you guys so much for your patience#I wish I could write faster because there’s nothing I love more than sharing a new chapter with y’all#but alas for my snail pace#lykmc updates
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the world loves me so much and said here asia we would like you to have your cluster cycle start on new years eve this time :) . also to anyone out there that suffers with cluster headaches, i fucking see you dude and it fucking sucks and i’m so sorry
#i also love having one of this chronic pain issues. that is very hard to be diagnosed because it is cyclical#*those#and mine is especially small given i tend to have 1-2 cycles a year predominantly falling around late august- january#when i brought it up to my doctor she essentially was like hmm that’s hard to deal with so no point getting any diagnosis 🤷♀️#so thanks girl. but mine are very typical cluster. always on the right side of my face. the violent stabbing pain behind my eye#i also have the nice after cluster hangover headache tenderness that just fucking knocks me clean off my feet#rocking and counting tend to be my go to distractions. not that they do anything. but when it’s really bad i unfortunately tend to hit#myself for some fucking relief :s#oh also i get the classic wake up from a dead sleep clusters. and mine are reliably every two fucking hours :)#and usually i get anywhere from 1-8 a day during my cycle period. although 4-5 is pretty average for me#my last cycle was hell. my clusters were lasting upwards of an hour. that is really what i’m hoping to avoid this time around….#sorry i just really needed to rant about this it fucking sucks. they don’t call them suicide headaches for nothing#cluster headaches
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I apologize for taking awhile to start on current batch, I've been both busy with unrelated stuff and kind of falling ill due to stress but things should be calming down now! (or at least it seems like it's getting better, I hope it stays that way because I'm itching to draw something, anything)
#thank you for your patience#it's been very rough for me since the start of the year#all of my work has slow down but the worst atm is over#until may and august#if nothing else goes wrong in mean time as it has been for the past month or two :'D
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I wonder if Taylor knows she’s releasing Speak Now TV tomorrow
#like i’m ngl i was kind of taken in by the theories at first as well but now i’m like.. it’s just not possible#we had surprise albums with folklore and evermore and sort of the 3am edition but i’d be amazed if she did it again#or released a tv as a surprise#considering how hyped red & fearless tvs were & the fact that fearless tv got singles beforehand i just don’t think she’d do that#she knows there’s more money to be made from a planned release which will get people preordering vinyls and listening to the old version#to see what’s to come#plus i’d be absolutely amazed if anything at all was released before tour. like in the past three years she’s released 3 new albums#2 rerecords and announced a tour. that’s so much. and while i 100% believe she’s been working on all the rerecords and probably has at least#one of them ready to go; she’s not releasing them before tour#plus midnights hasn’t even been out for 6 months yet. i don’t think anti hero is even out of the charts. i know evermore came out just about#5 months after folklore but 1) they were sister albums and 2) that was during the worst part of the pandemic so it wasn’t like either album#could have a proper press run. meanwhile speak now and midnights have absolutely nothing to do with each other besides a ‘fuck you’ song#directed at john mayer. so i’d be absolutely bamboozled if she interrupted midnights’ era with a rerecord release#and i’d be amazed if she released a bunch of from the vault songs right before tour and made the setlist even more complicated than it#will be right now. in fact i think it’s far more likely she’ll release a live tour album which will have ‘from the vault’ songs from sn#or 1989 or maybe rep. or do a live rerecord for at least one of those albums#but again that’ll be released after tour#i am starting to think odd number years are going to be rerecords and even number years will be new releases#but i’d still be amazed if we saw anything before august at the earliest#thank you for coming to my ted talk#taylor swift#personal
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i think i did 48 attacks this year with like 4 being Draw the squad @_@
#kazzy life#im dead#thanks god theres nothing on august and september#gotta rest to do goretober owo#recordatorio pa mi:#muajajaja robotgoreeee
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It's always the worst when you finally have some energy to spare and got the creativity flowing so you want to be productive and the internet stays out for over 24 hours. 🥲 Thankfully it has returned now (fingers crossed it stays that way). Hopefully I can dig some of that ambition back out to try and get things done this weekend. But I hope you've all been doing well. 💙
#; OOC || Bri ♟️#//I wanted to work on some Sh///////uake week stuff (it's halfway over already and I'm very late as usual haaaaa)#//but it was just a frustrating and tiring yesterday so I got nothing done instead!!! Very much on brand for me. 🙃#//This entire month has just been super overwhelming and draining and I'd really like August to be better.#//(Please universe I beg of you let me have this.)#//Hopefully things will calm down so I stop feeling like a husk because I miss writing and talking and gaming and all the things. ;3;#//Either way thanks for always being super patient with me. I'm gonna try to slowly get back into the swing of things. 💙
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