#god fuck this episode was so many emotions at once

[tinycowboybro]

…yeah that’s all i got

[bittersweetresilience]

say hi to me i don't know, i just remembered being so much brighter, i guess

cigarette ash like wildfire burning holes in the nighttime open scars feel like barbed wire white lies flying high like a ceasefire dropping flags on the shoreline this is as far as i can feel right 'cause what you don't know can haunt you

and all we ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think for a while

don't drag it out living like that doesn't mean a thing

so let's, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars 'cause happy endings hardest to fake

and i wanna let you know i wanna let you go but i just can't bring myself to speak but this is how it goes the end credits, they roll this bridge was built over kerosene but we can watch it and all i ever wanted was sunlight and honesty highlights to want to repeat let's get away from here and live like the movies do i won't mind when it's over at least i didn't think

so let's run, make a great escape and i'll be waiting outside for the getaway it doesn't matter who we are we'll keep running through the dark and all we'll ever need is another day we can slow down 'cause tomorrow is a mile away and live like shooting stars you can wish away forever but you'll never find a thing like today

[fightmewiatch]

The emotion behind the way Edwin uses fuck is so heavy, because outside of the pilot episode and the scene on the stairs, he doesn't swear. He's a proper boy, repressed and focused and he bottles everything up.

In the Pilot, "The police don't know what to do with a fucking witch", he isn't swearing about the witch. He's angry, and he's upset, and he's frustrated. He's trying to focus on solving this case, saving the girl, doing the right thing, fixing things. Edwin spent seventy years in Hell, fighting for a way out (the detail in his journal, he didn't get out on the first try, he spent those 70s years trying over and over and over to find a way out - but that is a story for a whole other time), torture and pain and heartbreak, only to get out and fall into the school to find out no one cared that he died. "An act of God." The school wrote him off, everyone wrote it off and that was it, that was the end of it, no one cared that a 16 year old boy went to bed and was never seen or heard from again, poof, gone. He spent Charles' last moments with him to keep him company, and calm, and not scared, the two of them knowing what had happened only for the school to once again cover up the death of a 16 year old boy and pretend that whatever happened didn't. Edwin spent the next 30 years connecting with Charles, trying to help ghosts so they don't spend their entire afterlives in a state of absolute sorrow and heartbreak like has. We get such a bare taste of the ghosts they've saved and helped move on, who knows how much good they've truly done, how many they've saved from going to Hell on technicalities like Edwin had done. He's frustrated with Crystal, because he's spent 30 years working with Charles and only with Charles, he knows his friend, he knows how he behaves and how he works and how he acts, those two are connected on a level some people only dream about, and here she comes, she latches on, and she joins them to help but she's so hyper focused on herself and David (understandably so), that she isn't giving the same attention to the case that Edwin and Charles have always done, and he's angry, and he feels like it's going to happen to this girl, he is worried that her focus on David, is going to cause them to fail. Crystal has every right to be upset and scared and everything else that she is, but she doesn't consider, until that moment, that Edwin has a right to be upset about how it seems to be interfering with the case. The way that she reacts when he says "The police don't know what to do with a fucking witch," she realizes it then just how important this case is. Edwin was dragged to hell, the boys around him obliterated - leaving behind the idea that maybe he was, too - so to the school, maybe Edwin just disappeared, like Becky, like all the other little girls over the years in Port Townsend. Solving Becky's case is so damn important to Edwin that he is taking it personally. And while it's subtle, Charles reacts to him swearing, too, as though Edwin does not swear. And based on the rest of the season, it's clear he really doesn't. The way he swears in the pilot is from a place of complete and utter sorrow and anger.

In ep 7, it's different. He's spent the whole season struggling with who is he, trying to come to terms with a feeling he'd repressed for at least a century, and he's had to do it while dealing with the Cat King and Monty and watching Charles flirt with Crystal and struggle through his own rage, he's done it as quietly as he could, as if bringing it up out loud might ruin everything that he's worked so hard for. But now he's in Hell, again, now he's trying to get out, again. Edwin encountered the reason he was sent there in the first place, and found out what really happened. Edwin spent all those years thinking it was purely malice that got him sacrificed, only to find out it was just because Simon had a crush on him, and did an absurdly stupid thing thinking it was harmless. I think in that moment, Edwin realized how easy it is to misunderstand something - because clearly, Edwin had absolutely no idea that Simon liked him at all, until the moment he admitted it in Hell. And then Charles shows up. Charles came to save him, armed with a bomb, a Molotov cocktail, and Edwin's notebook with a map of hell on it. Charles came down, he listened to Edwin's directions, he ran behind him most of the time to make sure Edwin was going to get out. Charles was with him, saving him from one of the rooms, following him to the stairs and up. He stopped with him, even when they needed to keep going, Charles let him have a moment on the steps. Edwin is in shock, he cannot believe it. All these years, all these write offs, all these moments where Edwin genuinely didn't think he'd ever get out of Hell if he were to go back, believed that if they ever got caught by Death or anyone from the afterlife, he would be damned forever because who gives a shit about a technicality, who cares about the poor boy that was sacrificed and written off by the rest of the living. Edwin didn't know what else to do or say, the emotions he'd kept bottled up while he tried to figure them out were coming out one way or the other. "It's so fucking stupid, it's unbelievable." Edwin didn't think he deserved it, thought it was stupid to come down and save him, because who would do such a thing. Charles risked himself to come down to Hell to save Edwin. Edwin never thought he'd be worth it. And when Charles just shrugs it off a bit, reminds him that he was gonna do it, and he's so easy about it that Edwin just. Confesses. And corrects him, when Charles misunderstands for a second. Charles didn't think twice about "Great. Love you too. Can we go?" And he really didn't even hesitate to reassure Edwin when Edwin clarified what he meant, that they had forever to figure things out.

[miukki960]

I'm gonna make this post before I go in the tag and see ANY God or Diew slander, because for me the conflict this episode not only made sense, but was necessary for their relationship to move forward.

The seed was planted long ago when God first found the picture of Diew and Dr. Asshole, and at first God handled it rationally (as expected of our Green Flag King). But the longer the situation went unresolved, the more doubt and insecurity began to creep in until it all came to a head in this episode, because all God needed was honesty and openness from Diew, but Diew has learned from past conditioning to lock those parts of himself away and only show a surface level of his personality and self.

I found that God's argument with Diew, while definitely escalated by emotion and insecurity, was justified at its core. We've learned throughout this story that God's main love language is Quality Time, and that most often is fulfilled by God genuinely enjoying doing anything and everything with the people he loves, so long as they are having a good time. But his conversation with Dr. Asshole put the idea in his mind that Diew has simply been going with the flow and doing whatever God suggested in order to make him feel good, that he hasn't actually enjoyed their time together. And while we as an audience know that's false, the idea is one of God's worst fears and most devastating nightmares.

But he loves Diew and doesn't want to believe it's true, so he gives him multiple chances to prove him wrong. And when Diew continues to reply with lies and deflection, it unfortunately proves him right. Because while the context is a bit off and there is definitely a misunderstanding at play, at the end of the day Diew isn't being honest and isn't trusting God enough to open up and show him the deeper, more emotional parts of himself. So God comes to the only conclusion he can see, that even if Diew is no longer in love with Dr. Asshole, their love was deeper and more meaningful than what he has with God now.

But don't get me wrong! Even though Diew was choosing the wrong dialog options during his argument with God, he was also justified in choosing to keep his secrets and emotions hidden. What God doesn't know is that Diew HAS opened up before, bared his heart and soul to someone he thought he loved and trusted, and what was he rewarded with? Disinterest, deflection, shame. As someone with major anxieties related to human interaction, you only have to burn him once to teach him to never play with fire again. And Dr. Asshole burned him deeply on multiple occasions.

No amount of kindness and sweetness and love from God was gonna convince him to play with fire again. In fact, it was reaffirming. Much like what we have been seeing with Wan towards Beer, I'm sure Diew sees how good and wonderful God is and is absolutely terrified to fuck it up. But just like Wan, his defense became his biggest downfall.

At the end of the day, rather than focusing on what happened, we should instead focus on why it happened and how the characters are going to grow from it. And we can see that how through the characters actions during the last few minutes of the episode. We see Diew, who's defense is to isolate, actively reaching out to God multiple times in multiple ways, ready to explain and open up and heal. And we see God going through the more nasty, volatile parts of his emotions alone, so he doesn't hurt Diew while he's in the wrong headspace, but also doesn't bottle the bad things to explode later.

I think what gets me the most is that in their very last conversation before the end of the episode, Diew was asking for togetherness and God was asking for space, and they were both upset on many levels, but they were still speaking to each other with love in their tone and words.

[venus-is-thinking]

DRDT Chapter 2 Episode 16: Initial Thoughts

Sorry for missing episode 15 :(

That being said, oh my god, Chapter 2 is actually complete! This is so exciting! I'm really hyped to talk about this episode and give my not-live summary of my live reactions!

SPOILER WARNING FOR DRDT THROUGH THE END OF CH 2!!!

CW: Murder, sacrifice, suicide

The Reactions

12-1, this time. I'm still personally partial to the extra vote on Teruko last Trial being Arei (being petty about her "I'm voting for you no matter what" thing), so I would assume Ace is the Teruko vote. If so, I do think it's interesting that he voted Teruko as opposed to, like, Nico. Then again, it might be that it's just more convenient for DRDTdev to consistently put the extra vote on Teruko, lol.

Notably, the dead people have "N/A," not 0. We probably could tell this because of Xander last time, but I didn't check. I wonder if this implies we won't ever need to vote for someone dead (ex. a mastermind who "died" earlier in the killing game).

I'm free... I can read whatever Eden says as genuine...

Take THAT, Whit time loop theorists /j

I do think it's funny/kinda telling? that Whit is only saying this after the trial is over. Like, I feel like the normal time to go "oh my god we're having another trial" is, like... when you find the body? So, it's interesting that his reaction is so delayed.

So, I don't know if this was an intentional parallel, but...

These feel similar to me. I really like the Ace/Arei parallels, where they're both chronically hated people, but Arei apologizes and tries to change whereas Ace lets the fear and paranoia consume him until there's no turning back. Ace only says this after he's already been found guilty of murder; Arei says this before promising to change her ways to the victim of her bullying.

Teruko out here hopping on that self-blame train.

It's so funny how different Hu's standards are when talking about Ace's murder vs. Nico's attempted murder. Like... Hu this is what everyone was telling you like an hour ago. What.

It's really interesting that we're highlighting this line. I wonder if this is part of a theme that we're going to explore further, maybe tied into the "all murderers have to be punished" thing. Or maybe Eden isn't actually accurate here, but doesn't know it; has Ace killed someone in the past?

Fun trick you can do here!

When we first met Teruko a week ago, she was the same person, certainly, but she was also different. She was happier, and she trusted people more.

There are so many good character parallels in DRDT. The Ace/Teruko one was really interesting in this post-trial.

Ooh, new flavor of J anti-murder! This seems to be broadening it to also being critical of the killing game, which would go against my weird hypothetical "J is anti-murderer but also the mastermind" read.

It's interesting, with how this is Ace's logic. It makes total sense for his character, though. I think it's easy for us, the viewers, to forget the fact that the characters probably don't have the precedent of "every blackened ever always loses." When Ace is running the odds, he thinks his survival odds were better as a killer than as a participant in the killing game. And y'know, considering how close he came to dying as Nico's victim, that's kinda fair.

I desperately want to know what Levi was going to say here.

I really like the fact that Ace DID care about Levi. That he intrinsically cares about him, but he knows factually that he isn't supposed to like or trust someone in a killing game. That once he killed Arei, he had to resolve to kill everyone in the killing game, even Levi.

The only way Ace knew to prevent himself from caring was to stay mad, I guess. Kinda unfortunate though, considering that I do think Levi wanted to patch things up with him genuinely.

Meanwhile, Levi, who doesn't understand emotions, is just like "man what the fuck. That makes no sense."

What a pair. I'm sad we're not going to get to see their dynamic anymore :(

In other words, I'm back on the Levi survivor train baby! My biggest problem with it before was that I thought Ace was gonna survive and I didn't think Ace and Levi were both gonna survive, so now we're locking tf in!

This is fun! I always wonder why more people don't try stuff like this. Like... shoot your shot. You're gonna die otherwise, soooo...

Great animation as always

I think it's really funny that Teruko is so fucking mad that she bullies Ace into action. Like, that's so fitting for both of them.

I love using this David expression here. He's just like, "was it that easy? Why was I trying to throw the trial then???"

aaaaAAAAAAAA--

What the fuck!! XF-Ture mention!!!!!!!!

I like the spooky vibe MonoTV has for this post-trial, but I do hope we get our normal silly lil guy back next chapter. I like the MonoTV personality we see all the time. I'm gonna miss it if it just died like that :(

I am also squinting so hard at everyone's reactions through "who is the mastermind" goggles. Maybe I'll analyze them in a different post sometime.

Fascinating purpose. Not "to create despair." Not "to run the killing game until only one participant survives." To kill everyone.

Does this include whichever mastermind?

Why does whoever programmed MonoTV want to kill all of these people? Are they being punished for something?

This countdown sequence fucked me up. The tensions and emotions are so high. Even as someone who was confident that Teruko, at least, wasn't going to die no matter what, I was so on edge. I got really scared that Eden was going to take the hit for Teruko, though, and that's what I was reading into when I wasn't sure Eden would make it to Chapter 3.

This speech, more than any other one Teruko has made or any actions she's taken or endured, really made me feel for Teruko. The fact that she can so casually talk about truly traumatic and horrific things happening to her, while smiling, truly shows how much she's grown used to it. Like, girl. You don't deserve this. What.

The character work on Teruko especially this episode is just fantastic. No words.

This panel stressed me out so bad because it was really just a question of WHO took the bullet for Teruko. Like, if she's thinking this, someone clearly did.

My bets were on either Eden, Charles, or Ace.

Levi, though, was such a surprise to see. Like, in a good way. It means so much.

First of all, it's a callback to the end of the prologue. Levi attacks MonoTV, and when MonoTV tries to kill him in response, Teruko's danger sense alerts her. It's only through Teruko warning Levi to move that Levi dodged the main attack, resulting in only an arm injury rather than death. Now, Levi returns her favor, preventing her from dying from attacking MonoTV.

Second, it puts Ace into the position we see of having to confront the possibility of Levi's death. I got the distinct sense that they wanted Ace to be able to do something heroic on his way out, to prove all the haters wrong (which is why I thought it was possible he'd take the hit for Teruko instead of Levi). By putting Levi, pretty clearly the person he cares most about, into harm's way, it makes Ace take action. It means that he HAS to confront the fact that he cares Levi, and that he has to die.

And, thirdly... I am so fascinated to learn why Levi did this. Was it as simple as a transactional, "you saved me from execution before?" Is it "I thought saving someone would make me a good person?" Does Levi actually feel some remorse for Teruko in this moment, causing him to take action?

No matter what his reasoning, I can't wait to hear from him. I strongly suspect Levi won't actually die from this (at the very least, I hope not, because I really want to hear more from him), but even if he does, hopefully we'll still get some more insight in a bonus episode or a flashback or something.

I'm trying to figure out what triggered Whit here.

This is immediately following "The elevator won't open," but it also definitely can just correlate to "[person] will die if they don't receive immediate medical treatment." I have to assume that something here is reminding Whit of his mom...?

With the weird "Whit knows a lot about hanging" earlier, I got the impression that Whit's mom probably hung herself. From this, I would probably theorize that Whit found her while she was still alive, but not quickly enough to save her. Yikes.

Anyways, I think that means everyone has some kind of despair sprite now! That's fun!

o7

I'm sure many have pointed this out, but do we think he's counting himself here (Arei + Ace + Levi = 3), or do we think he feels responsible for someone else's death in his past (probably Taylor)? I'd lean towards the second one.

Y'know, before I thought Arturo was just pressed about the surgeon thing because people were unfairly hating on him. This, at least, I think implies something relating to Felicity.

Arturo doesn't have any experience saving lives. He left, and Felicity died. He can't save lives; he's only responsible for Felicity's ending. I think that's how he sees it.

On a side note, I think there's a very definite possibility that Chapter 3 cold opens on Arturo saving Levi's life??? Like, how Chapter 2 started with Eden POV, I think Chapter 3 could start with Arturo taking his shot at healing Levi, eventually resulting in Levi stabilizing. I'm not sure who would be there with him. Possibly Hu, since she was leading the "let's get Levi to the infirmary" effort...?

I love executions like this. Accirax has said before that the best executions are what make their recipient feel the most despair, and that's definitely what they did with Ace here. Put the talent aside; fear is what Ace fears the most.

Uhhhh. I'm pulling an Accirax. Part 2 in reblog!

[kazumist]

EPISODE 28 ✦ PLEASE LOVE ME AT MY WORST

LOVE, MAYBE — A CHILDE SMAU

masterlist / prev ep / next ep / wc: 1265.

fifteen minutes is almost up; am i about to die?

ajax thoughts wander to all sorts of places as he nervously checks and watches the time move on his wristwatch. as to why he agrees so easily to your request to talk to him—he doesn’t know either. it just felt… right to agree. 

he knows it would pain him to say no to you anyway.

perhaps it was just the small part of him that still hopes. that one little speck in him that hopes this “talk” would mend the rift that had formed between the two of you. it was probably stupid to have such expectations when he was pretty sure you were dead set on your answer to him before.

so it confuses him. why did you want to talk? did you want to just slap it in his face once again? no, you weren’t like that. you would never do something that mean. but that just leads him back to square one: why?

the sound of soft footsteps growing louder alerts ajax, and he takes a deep breath because he knows it’s you. yet he takes a glance to check anyway. there you were, standing before him as he gets the familiar feeling of being starstruck surging through him. keep it together, ajax. he warns himself. 

“hi…” you softly said. 

“hey.”

hey? who the hell says hey nowadays, ajax? get a grip! he mentally scolds himself, forcing him to pull out a tight smile to you instead to save him from his embarrassment. meanwhile, you thought otherwise of his reaction. oh god, he probably hates me. he never gives me that smile. it looks so forced. he probably just felt bad and forced himself to meet me out at this hour. your thoughts ran fast inside your mind as you fiddled with your fingers.

“uhm.. i wanted to talk—”

“so why did you want to meet—”

you both paused when you realized you both spoke at the same time. “you go first,” he insisted. but you gestured otherwise and told him, “oh, it’s fine. you can go.”

“i insist. ladies first?”

seeing as this would go nowhere if you just went back and forth like that, you took a deep breath. 

“i love you.”

for the whole day (and the additional fifteen minutes ajax gave you), you thought of many ways on how to approach childe with the topic of what happened before. yet none of those really started with “i love you." the best option you got after thinking so hard actually started with “i’m sorry.” the “i love you” part was supposed to be near the end of the whole monologue you had prepared inside your head.

ajax only stared at you, dumfounded at your words. “shit, sorry, i—that wasn’t how i wanted to start, uhm—” you let out a sigh, a slightly shaky one at that because of your mistake. don’t fuck up this one up and run away again, (name). you mentally took note. but then again, fuck that monologue you prepared beforehand. if you want to do this properly, then it’s better to do this as bare as your emotions could get, right?

taking another deep breath, you decided to speak up again before ajax could. “i’m going to be honest. i actually prepared some long speech that is supposedly transcribed inside my brain right now. but i definitely think i just forgot a good chunk of that speech now that i’m actually with you.” 

“i’m sorry, ajax. i let my fear get the best of me that day. i never wanted to tell you to go away; in fact, i know that i wanted nothing more than for you to hold me at that moment.” you let out a bitter chuckle at that. ajax watches you, listening to every word carefully. he takes in your appearance as well, and the slightly swollen and redness of your eyes were obvious enough for him to know your state as of late.

“i never wanted to push you away. and god, i feel so stupid and guilty for everything that i said that day. because i know none of those were true. well, i guess minus the part where i listed my flaws... because i know those were true in some sense—but i want to—no, nevermind that. i’m trying to change my ways.” you corrected yourself.

“i asked dehya and the others for some advice. and they were right when they said that you had a positive impact on my life and that i’ve never been this happy with someone else other than them. because i swear, you’re just a different case for me, ajax. you make me happy in ways i never thought anyone could bring me joy. when i thought i didn’t have anyone by my side, you were there for me.”

“and i feel so, so, so fucking stupid for shutting you away that day. because deep inside, i knew my heart wanted otherwise. my brain wanted you to leave me alone, but i knew my heart wanted for you to stay. for you to tell me that everything is alright.”

“i guess the main gist of everything that i’m saying is that i love you; i’m sorry. i love you, ajax. and i know i’m probably late, and that you probably hate me right now, and also how you probably just forced yourself outside just so you could meet up with me, but i love you. this whole thing is honestly still scary to me, considering this is the first time i have experienced this in my whole lifespan of eighteen years right now.”

“yet i still love you despite that. i’m sorry that it took me a while. and again, you don’t have to reciprocate it—i just wanted to let this all out. and like i said, you probably hate me—”

“am i allowed to speak now?” ajax.

“i—yeah, go ahead.”

“have i told you that i’m so proud of you?” he asks. you don’t know where he’s going with this. “you might’ve mentioned it once or twice in the past, yeah.” he chuckles at your reply. it feels like your walking on thin ice because you really have no idea if he’s about to drop a bomb right now about him rejecting you.

you don’t think you could handle that anyway.

“thank you, (name). i personally didn’t know what to expect with what you were going to say. but i  don’t hate you. i could never hate you. not now, not ever. hell, i knew that if i said no to your request of having a talk i would definitely regret it. and i’m proud of you that you managed to say all of that. learning how to communicate is a big step already, you know?”

ajax takes a step closer and you didn’t take a step back this time. you let him get close to you this time, fixing the distance that grew after you pushed him away. “and for the record, i love you too” he says, a bit more quietly, as if he really wants only you to hear those words coming from him. “that fact isn’t going to change anytime soon, silly.” 

“i’m sorry again. but i’m ready now. i’m prepared to take a risk in this whole thing they call love. so please love me at my worst, ajax.”

the night ends with ajax walking you home once again—but this time there wasn’t a single residue of the bitterness from before.

this time, it was filled with relief.

extra notes.

yayyyy!!! communication!!!!

i didn't expect for this episode to be so long. i was 700+ words in when i realized that it was going to be a bit lengthy.

taglist (open): @xianyoon @mitsvriii @kizakiss @kissingkzuha @aethion @phtogravi @ell1e2010 @esthelily @b4tm4nn @hcmay @ivvieene @morganadorodo @kaitfae @kentply @scaranthropy @kyon-cherri @kookiibun @kochothehoe @mekiiiii @ibyobi @iuspired @tetsuskei @kunikuzushis-darling @morgyyyyyyy @chluuvr @scaradooche @kissmiere @a1-ic3 @bubblegum-angelquartz @tiredjxnna @levlucs-kiru @angeilix @cerisescherries @saeskiss @a-talkative-corn @briluvspnk @kamisatoyato @bbysatoruuu @viviixoxosblog @bambisz @chemiru @eternal-dokja @bflyprincess @jamieexistss @monocerosei @enjisthings @jangyung @hahalame @cupid-spams @snzhrchy @ukinya @luciledreamz @bisatanica @bananasquash @almond-t0fu @thegalaxyisunfolding @jaguarthecat [1/2]

[alipeeps]

Episode 34

Ugh. Here we go. This is it.

Hold me. 😭😭

Fuuuuck. Please tell me he's not dead?

Don't do this to Zhou Yichen! (Or me!)

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

His reaction is so RAW. The way he sees him and immediately looks away because he just CAN'T.

And he died with a smile on his face because he helped Zhuo Yichen.

The plotline for about half the fucking show was about saving Bai Jiu... and then he dies anyway. Sacrificing himself. Like so many before him. I hate this.

I can't with this. This isn't fair. I was expecting Zhao Yuanzhou to die. Maybe even Zhou Yichen, maybe even Wen Xiao. I was bolstering myself to survive that.

But you kill the BABIES. Ying Lei. Bai Jiu. The most innocent and vulnerable of the entire team.

OH SHIT... and the flashback to that scene... he never did get to clear the air with his dad. 😭😭😭

I'm crying my eyes out over a fucking TV show.

You know what? After putting us through this with Ying Lei and Bai Jiu, they need to let Zhao Yuanzhou live. We fucking deserve it. They have hurt us enough. They owe us.

I swear the OST songs have been specifically written to deal maximum emotional damage when used within the show. I hate this.

And all this time Wen Xiao has been having the shit kicked out of her by foster daddy.

Ugh he's fighting for control.

Her tears brought him back?

Oooh is that how they can save all the townspeople?

Ah shit so it can only be stopped if you get to it before the core takes root?

But how's she going to use the baize power when using it hastens her poisoning?

Damn he destroyed his core.

Oh daaaaaaamn....

Well you got father-in-law's blessing I guess, Zhao Yuanzhou...

Aaaaand people are starting to feel the effects of the demon cores...

Oh shit, use the baize power to make it rain? Won't using that much power like... kill you?

Is this drama going to give us the worst possible outcome and have everybody BUT Zhao Yuanzhou die, leaving him again alone and angsty?

OH FUCK. So even if she wasn't poisoned, this is a sacrificial spell?!

PLEEEEASE. Zhao Yuanzhou. Fucking please. Give me a moment of hope in amongst all this devastating despair.

Uhhh this feels very like a farewell...

Ahhh shit....

WHAT THE FUCK?!

So the reason a Great Demon like Zhao Yuanzhou exists, and absorbs malicious qi, is to power the baize divine power?

(But then, surely, if Zhao Yuanzhou's initial plan to have Zhou Yichen kill him in a way that would break the cycle had gone ahead, it would have destroyed the baize divine power along with the vessel of malicious qi?)

Oh FUCK and in that vision he is wearing the exact same outfit that he's wearing now!!!

But if he sacrifices himself to trigger the baize divine power and save the townspeople, how does that fix the problem of Wen Xiao's poisoning? Unless he absorbs the poison from her first?

He's having to steal himself to go through with it.

Jesus Christ, who ever fucking knew Hou Minghao could act like this?

Hey, Xiao Zhuo Daren, sorry about this, but I need you to live through just one more traumatising event today...

Oh fuck, that's why the one word spell worked on him just the once...

OH SHIT, HE SAID IT HOWEVER MANY EPISODES AGO.... HE TOLD WEN XIAO THAT WHEN HE DIES HE WILL TURN INTO RAIN!!!!!

BUT HOW IS ANY OF THIS GOING TO FIX WEN XIAO'S POISONING?!! SHE'S STILL GOING TO DIE ANYWAY!!

Oh fucking hell... Zhao Yuanzhou was going to pull a Ying Long and walk into the sword.... but Zhuo Yichen pulled a reverse uno on his and made it his choice.

😭😭😭

Do you think the healing baize divine power rain will heal Wen Xiao's poisoning?

Oh no, the binding spell has come undone. That means....

Ahhhh you fucker you absorbed the poison from her as you were dying...

FUCK I had to pause playback to go and get tissues because I couldn't see from fucking crying!!!!

Oh god and all the goofy happy scenes playing over the credits as usual, but against the sad emotional music rather than the cheerful stuff.

OH GOD not just the usual ending credit scenes but LOADS more.

I am drained. I am a shell of a human being.

That was honestly THE best fucking cdrama I have ever watched. Quite possibly the best drama/tv show I have ever watched. NOTHING has made me so emotional before.

And the ending was, unfortunately, probably the correct one for the story but god DAMN it hurt. 😭😭

[sprimpfriedrice]

White dungeon meshi fans sound like this to me:

It's extremely fascinating and frightening to me how hateful some of you people are towards shuro, a man who is clearly depicted as japanese, (a man who could look like me or literally any member of my family in real life) for being a normal, complex, and flawed human being.

Why do you single him out for getting frustrated with and mad at laios when chilchuck and marcille do the same literally all the time? What's the difference between them and shuro?

Why do you feel the unnecessary need to protect these white women from a japanese man?

Do you expect that this japanese man is inherently going to have some kind of ugly negative quality that has not been once hinted at canonically? Do you know what that's called? Because i do and it's fucking racism.

You people get scared the moment a character that is a person of color isnt a quiet little model minority or a sweet mammy archetype. You grasp at your pearls the moment they are revealed to have complex personalities and histories; when they feel negative, big emotions that are literally part of the human experience. Or god forbid, when they show romantic interest in a pure, helpless, little white woman.

And when a person of color stops behaving good and docile the way you want, when they decide that theyre not going to put up with a situation that makes them uncomfortable or miserable or RIGHTEOUSLY FURIOUS, they become the bad guy. As seen countless times in the medias demonizing depiction of the Black Lives Matter protests and even of black people who get punished for just living their lives. It happens so often i shouldnt have to reiterate it to you but it somehow keeps flying over your head.

And when that dirty, conniving, perverted, slant eyed, buck toothed, stumpy little japanese man understandably snaps at the white person you guys are projecting onto and all you see is this:

So dont be surprised when i say that id rather kill myself than entrust the safety of my oldest aunts and uncles or my youngest cousins with any of you who act like this. Im terrified of what could have happened if people like you worked at the facility that my great grandmother lived out her final years in. Would you have seen her as a wild animal that needed to be subdued too when she had one of her many dementia-induced violent episode?

I will not apologize for saying that i find it deeply disconcerting to see so many of you happily posting hateful vitriol or even about committing acts of violence against a man that looks like me, solely because he was experiencing his humanity

[thunder-point]

Long ramble ahead

I've talked a bit about some things I liked, and mostly qotey, but I mentioned already that I adore phumpeem also, and this episode just spurred my love for their dynamic even more BECAUSE

THIS REACTION???????

THIS ONE AS WELL???

HOLD UP SOMEONE HOLD ME SOMEONE HOLD PHUM'S UNSTABLE ASS

For the love of everything on this planet I LOVED LIVED BREATHED FOR IT.

Not only because I adored how positive it was on both ends, but because of the differences and the genuine quality it gave me. The kiss was absolutely delightful, once again pondphuwin just delivered on that aspect, as they did throughout the entirely of Never Let Me Go.

BUT LISTEN Y'ALL

I just????? Fucking love???? HOW DIFFERENT PHUM AND PEEM EXPRESS THEIR LIKE TOWARDS EAC H OTHER

First of all I don't know how others feel about phum's character. Personally, I enjoy it very much. He has very visible flaws, emotional constipation in some aspects, but those in some way give way for other moments that just express how free he is with his feelings.

Because he likes Peem, and this episode he expressed it so openly that it gave me LIFE.

We don't know much about Phum yet, but he seems to have a complicated relationship with his parents. It gives the feelings that he lacked the affection he needed in the past. That, of course, leads to the attitude of seeking it so selfishly like he does with Peem.

And it's enjoyable to watch. He's a needy asshole, he's arrogant and he's attractive and he's attracted to Peem and he doesn't let ANY chance slip to get that attention that he wants. And even if it started in a rough way in the beginning, I genuinely think it's mostly because, for the most part, some people who never really had the attention they needed resort to getting it in very obnoxious manners later on. Phum is doing exactly that.

There are many things to talk about when it comes to Phum, and I hope that as the series goes on we get more from him, and good things while we are at it, but I just love how his crush developed. I loved that as soon as he realized he truly fucked up, he apologized THREE times, I love how remorseful he's looking in episode 6 when Peem's ruined painting is mentioned.

And I absolutely love how blunt he is with his feelings for Peem. He doesn't waste any time in episode 6. Not even caring if his friends catch on, if Peem's friends catch on. My man Phum is on a mission and he is RELENTLESS.

I think it gives me so much joy because they could have totally made a character like Phum, who is prideful and stubborn, hide his feelings behind teasing and this 'you are my slave' act that he puts forward. But instead, we got the softest smiles from him after the kiss. We got him coming into the art gallery TO TAKE PICTURES, TO START A CONVERSATION ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.

We got him calling Peem adorable and pleading Peem to draw on a cup with him. He just wants LOVE. He wants it and as soon as he saw Peem reciprocated in some way it's like it exploded from him. And there's so much to say about it. God.

But Peem? Listen, I love it even more on Peem's side.

Not only did this man INITIATE THE FIRST KISS, the way he's processing these emotions are so funny AND SO REAL.

I loved it from the very beginning that we see that Peem is attracted by Phum as much as he's incensed with him. He admitted it - Phum is handsome, but he's an asshole. And that's real. As someone who fell for a person who I bickered with a lot at first, I had such joy watching Peem's way through his bond with Phum and how it developed.

Because Phum has his bad sides, and he seems to bring them up around Peem for that attentions and reactions it gets him, but when Phum goes soft? That's when his attractiveness and his personality clash in a way that seems to make Peem WEAK.

"You're so demanding, Peem," said softly had Peem BY THE THROAT. And I felt that.

Phum apologizing so softly, Phum eating Peem's atrocious cooking. Peem? Absolutely GONE for it. And that's certainly such a rushing feeling to have. Peem is clearly not experienced with relationships, and that just makes the fact that he initiated the kiss SO MUCH BETTER.

Because we know that he's not scared of showing his emotions. Even if he's a people pleaser, he's not a pushover. He kicked Phum's balls back into his goddamn body as soon as he had the chance. HE THREW A CHANCLA AT HIM.

Him going for the kiss when he felt the need to MAKES SENSE. it's wonderful.

And don't get me started on how often my man seemed to fantasize back to those soft moments with Phum. Don't get me started ON HIS CONVERSATION WITH Q this episode about affection and relationships and FUCK. Don't get me started on his gay panicked ass.

that's a ramble for another post. I feel like this is already too long and too incoherent. I jumped from so many topics but I have so many feelings for these two. As many as I have for Qtoey.

[s-wave-entertainment]

*BAM*

THAT WAS THE SOUND OF ME BUSTING THE DOOR DOWN. HI. Okay so first thing's first, I recently saw an animatic (??) by @/armintist on Instagram about N's perception of Tessa as of ep. 6 and it has broken the dam. Your honor I think about what must have been going through his head at that given moment So Often; some may say too often (I know my roommate definitely would, sorry Anna-). Y'all, he literally just remembered her existence and because we have no canon timeline as to how long was between eps. 5&6, I'm going to assume it was no LESS than two hours, IF EVEN. Doll could have gone straight to "Tessa" from Uzi's house, we'll never know. But like... what in the fuck was going on in his brain? This person, who he KNOWS that he knows, that he has vague, barely comprehensible memories of from a time far back into his past that he only just got back, is suddenly standing right in front of him again. And he hesitates, because OF COURSE HE DID. It looks like her (or does it? He doesn't remember his face, he never even truly saw it), it sounds like her, it feels like her... but how long has it been? And why here, why now?

Honestly, "Cyn's" pretty smart. She knew he would be willing to go along with what he told her because he's never really pressed into his memories before. He's relieved the tidbits of them, sure, but he tends to acknowledge them and move on. She knew all she had to do was act right and he would probably trust her. But what she didn't account for was him finding a love worth fighting for, and that's where her ultimate fucky-wucky was. But I'm not here to talk about "Cyn's" strategy, I'm here to talk about our beloved traumatized murder robot puppy.

What do you think happened when it hit him that that skin over Cyn's body wasn't of it's own creation? That his friend was technically still alive, if you count her preserved remains being thrown over a robot body like some sick and twisted reverse fursuit. And it can't be said that that didn't happen, because it definitely did. N's little episode in the hallway while "Cyn" hunted them down showed us that he is in fact recovering his memories. Slowly, and at very unfortunate times, but he is. And I can almost guarantee you that at some point, in some way, he must have recovered the full memory of the gala massacre. And oh me oh my, that must have been a long, hard day for him. Thank God he has Uzi now-

That aside, he must eventually realize what happened. And as he remembers more and more good times with her, his little heart probably just shattered more and more. Along with all of the other BULLSHIT he must be remembering following ep. 8.

AND ANOTHER THING ON THAT NOTE. I have so so so many emotions about N and how good he is and how,,,, Genuinely Good his heart is. Like actually. Y'all, need I remind the court that he was supposed to KILL Uzi. He had her PINNED TO THE WALL with a wing, but after watching her father turn around and ABANDON HER, he stopped. And sure, it can be reasonably said that this is because he spent some time with Uzi beforehand, but how long would they have had together, logistically? Ten minutes, maybe twenty, tops?? The fact that that was enough for him to COMPLETELY CHANGE SIDES and want to help her instead (which is also attributed to the conversation they had in the cockpit but again, TEN MINUTES)... listen, Uzi had no one before she found N, but N had no one either. J openly abused him, and V had to act like she hated him to protect him. N was lonely, just like Uzi. Somehow, someone found him who was kind to him and seemed to actually care. She was a little edgy, but she talked to him and she listened. It was more than he had at the base - and the same was true for Uzi. But again, I could talk about how much I love NUZI for hours, right now I want to talk about how good N's heart is. He was a worker, once. A worker who did everything he could to be... useful, to Tessa's parents, but a good friend to Tessa. And he loved his friends. He has,,, so much love in his heart. He always has. And he gives it so readily, and it can hurt him, but he like - he gets better about it, I believe. He can guard himself better these days, but he just. He still cares. And he cares so much and he just. GOD. GOD I LOVE HIM AND I FEEL SO TERRIBLE FOR WHAT HE'S BEEN THROUGH. FUCKING HELL-

[rmwb-fanfics]

How to remake Harry Potter:

(A step by step guide)

We’ve already had one god-awful adaptation that way too many people think is good. This is our one chance to have the book characters represented correctly, along with the plot they support.

I’ve put YEARS of thought into this. I’ve written scripts for episodes of a hypothetical tv show. I’ve drawn concept art. I’ve done shit. So I figured I’d share my thoughts.

1. Stick to the books*.

Stick to the books has a massive asterisk next to it because I mean the plot and characters. Some stuff (as you’ll see later) should be changed.

Nothing in this show should feel out of character. Harry should be closer with Ron than he is to Hermione. Snape should be a real d*ckhead. Hermione should be judgmental of those who don’t think like her, etc etc. The way these characters navigate their relationships is why the fandom is still relevant. It’s why canon-compliant fic is popular in the first place. We like their dynamics. SHOW THEM APPROPRIATELY.

Plot is a sticky thing because I’d say there’s wiggle room, but not too much. Certain characters have to die. Certain events must happen. You cant change that stuff.

2. Use the Medium.

You’re using film as a format to tell your story. Ideally you’d us animation, but I know Warner Bros has less creativity than Disney’s remake department, so I won’t even try and pitch that.

Use colour and saturation. It can help contextualize emotion. It can make us subconsciously recognize things. For instance, the scene growing more saturated when Ron walks into the room when Hermione is wearing the horcrux, or any multitude of other uses this could bring.

Bring in costume design that (actually fits the world) but also helps show how that character is feeling. What they’re thinking, their personality, their future, etc.

Make magic fun™️. The books sort of sidelined magic in 5-7. Don’t do that. Divert from the books. Magic should feel alive. Colour-code them so we as an audience can recognize spells and what they might do before we see it. Implement sound design to make each spell unique and vibrant. Make this world subtly bursting with magic like it was in the first few books. Have it weave around characters, wrap them up. Be creative with action scenes. Force transfiguration into battle scenes. Choreograph your duels. Show don’t tell us that a wizard/witch is powerful. Turn people into portraits. Lock them up as mice. USE MAGIC.

Your set design should reflect this. Everything should be bursting with personality. Don’t just use the shitty movie sets. Inject some colour, have the surroundings aid you in telling the story. Get weird with the camera. Use these tools to their fullest potential.

Actually fucking try.

3. Utilize Music.

Music is just… such a massive part of film. It’s frustrating how often even the best filmmakers overlook its use. Characters should have themes that mature and develop as the series goes on. Have action arrangements of the themes to play with heroic moments. As the series progresses, we grow attached to these themes. When they appear, the audience FEELS something. Don’t reuse great pieces to force emotion. (Dumbledore’s Farewell in The Prince’s Tale. Are you fucking kidding me?)

For example: Have a theme for Neville that starts out timid and uses very shy instrumentals, but we first hear a change when he stands up to the trio at the end of PS. Then it gains more instruments until OotP, when it grows again. Once we get to DH, it can be used in this heroic swell as he chops the head off the snake in front of Voldemort and everyone watching. The audience, consciously or not, will feel that moment even more.

Have a theme for Ron and Hermione that might not even be romantic until HBP when it gains that element. PLAY WITH MUSIC.

Themes for mystery, adventure, loss, love, friendship, LOCATION. Let them come back throughout the series to highlight various moments. See Lord of the Rings and The Hunger Games, as well as (surprisingly) the Fantastic Beasts films.

Let music affect the visuals. Magic can bend and swivel with the music. Use it to tell the story. Use it to show emotion. Use it to progress a character’s arc. USE CONSISTENT MUSIC.

4 . Be Bold.

This is the big one and it may seem like I’m contradicting myself but I’m not. Rowling’s work hasn’t aged crazily well to modern fiction standards. This is your chance to rectify that. Fill plot holes, actually think through the politics. Introduce world-building elements that enhance the story/characters. (The house system, and how Slytherin fits in. The logic behind avada kedavra???) Get creative with solutions. Contradict the original work when it comes to description of location. If it doesn’t work for the film format, don’t force it to work here.

Spend more time with characters we know are relevant, but maybe not to the plot. These are your Ginny Weasleys, your Seamus and Deans, Nevilles, etc. Really fill them in. Give them more scenes. Ginny has two phenomenal arcs that play completely off-screen, explore them. Show us her friendship with Hermione. Show us her insecurities and her faults. Give us more of her and Harry’s friendship. We know they get married, so maybe fix the whole “Rowling wrote the epilogue first, but didn’t realize she was waiting too long to introduce these characters until HBP”.

Add scenes. Add jokes. Add smiles and covert looks. You have more time, which means you have a chance to focus on friendships, and romance, and world building.

Tell multiple storylines. Give Remus and Tonks a cool spy/thriller subplot interjected with the main story in OotP. Show us more of Fleur staying in England. Give us more of Harry and Sirius bonding. All of this stuff can fit loosely into canon, and be welcome creative additions.

BE BOLD.

And finally,

5. This is your chance to not only retell the story, but to do it better.

RECOGNIZE THIS. Take advantage of this opportunity and enhance canon, don’t fight it.

Don’t add Hermione and Harry dancing because *YOU* don’t like where the romantic pairings went. Don’t add Draco sympathy because you want him to have a redemption arc. Don’t dumb Ron down because you don’t like the fact that he’s just like the teenage boys you dated in High School, and he was a bit immature.

Make changes, be bold, use music, stick to the books*, use the medium, but take this as the opportunity that it is to enhance what came before.

Thank you.

[ecoeclipselion]

So… I can see why everyone is upset at Moon now. I had just woke up afterall and laid in bed browsing Tumblr before getting up to watch YouTube lmao

But finally watched the newest episode from the Sun and Moon Show and… Wtf..? Moon! MOON! You say you’re not good with Emotions but you dealt with them before my man!

July 16th when the truth came out about Dazzle. You were perfect and on top of that Comfort for Sun!

When Dazzle and Jack said their Goodbyes to Neptor you were good there too as support!

What happened to the Moon that gave Sun his Support and Comfort?! My man you did it before! You done it multiple times! Why is this one so difficult? Sun was just forced to make a choice. Sun killed Nexus and your immediate response is “I gotta go find so-so!” Dude that fucking shit can wait. ):<

Ugh… Not too happy on Lunar and Monty either. Like as soon as they found out the news… No I will give Monty a slight past. He figured it be best to give Sun some space but still the fact neither of these two don’t even bothered to check on Sun or to call out on Moon’s Bad Habits til AFTER he leaves! Ugh…

Solar my man you are a savior even though we didn’t get to see the comfort (hope that is tomorrow episode or the day after since they’re playing games again) I hope we get to see the much needed comfort that Sun needs. Cause my god. Dude just lost a Brother and Brother he was forced to make a choice in killing or watch his other family members die. Sun is having it rough…

And speaking of Sun. This is many reasons why I can relate to him… And this one struck home for me… Cause I was in a situation not like Sun’s but in a emotional state where my entire family including my Sister ignored me to cry alone. It took friends ON THE INTERNET to talk to me and offer the much needed Comfort I needed after having my 21yr old Chihuahua passed away in my arms.

God. I will say now. Either I will be adding this LATER in my Dimensional Mishap story where Sun will take a Vaccay to the other Dimension where that Sun and Moon will offer up the much needed comfort he needs. Or I may write a one off chapter. Idk. What I was doing for a Halloween Special and that’s what kicked in my Writer’s Block as I was writing two things at once— But either way. Sun needs a hug. He needs comfort and I am thankful that Solar stepped up to check on Sun and offer that comfort and support that Sun very much needed.

We need the whacking stick to whack some sense into Moon’s thick head. Cause if he goes back to his old ways there is no doubt that Sun will distant himself seeing the promises shattering away and the poor guy doubting his choice later on down the road.

…

I am done with my Ramble/Rant—

[lvrsparadise]

'AFTER DARK' - M.S

Synopsis - “But… why do you hate that you like it?” "Because I'm supposed to hate you! And I can't do that when I'm in love with you!"

Warnings! - Profanity, kissing, arguing, Nick and Chris r kinda asses, use of Y/N, crying, name calling (not directly though), crying.

A/N - I was listening to 'After Dark' and I thought about something I had written down but lost but I still remember the plot. This is so long😭 Although, please enjoy ! ♡

You and Matt had been at each other's throats since you guys met.

He'd say one thing and it would lead to either a small banter or an actual yelling match. But with you two, it was unpredictable what was going to happen.

Lately you two have been a little more smiley with each other, still bantering a lot, but sometimes playfully.

----

Matt was in his room, and I'm sitting in the living room, watching the same show I had on when Nick and Chris went out to eat with Madi and Laura.

Soon enough, I got bored and paused the episode and walk to Matt's room.

He doesn't look up from his phone but sighs.

"Get out."

I just shake my head and plop down in his chair at his desk, drumming my fingers on the arms of it lightly.

"Nah. I'm bored."

He groans. “Why are you in my room?”

"Entertainment? I guess." I sigh and shrug.

"I got bored in the living room by myself. Nick and Chris went out to dinner with Madi and Laura and left me here."

“So, they just… left you here?” His eyes widen a little. He puts his phone down on his bed next to him.

I shrug and look down at his desk at the keyboard and little pieces of candy wrapper trash. 

"I guess. "

"Well, why didn't you with them?"

I shrug again and cross my arms on the desk, avoiding messing up his keyboard.

"Just, wasn't in the social mood."

I'm thankful he can't see me right now. Even when I walked in, he never looked at me. Thank God. I feel like I look absolutely terrible. I feel exhausted and drained. I have no real reason to feel this way, but I guess emotions are just difficult.

I hear him sigh and hear the small 'thunk' of his head pressing against the headboard.

"Whay are you still here? You need something?"

I just shrug again, knowing he can't see me.

"Not really. Just don't want to be alone I guess."

I lay my head on my arms, closing my eyes. Laying my head down like you would on a desk at school.

"Well, what do you want me to do? Entertain you?" Matt's voice rings from behind the chair.

"I'm not expecting anything. I just didn't want to be alone. Is that such a hard thing to understand?" My voice firm and muffled by the way my face is buried in my arms.

I know I can't see him, but I can hear the eye roll in his voice.

"Why can't you just get out? Find something else to do other than be a fucking bug." He grumbles the last part, but I can hear it clearly.

I sigh frustratedly and stand up from the chair walking to his door. 

"Fine. I'll just go fuck myself then." I grumble as I swing the door open and walk out of it, out of his room. Just like he wanted.

He puts up his hands in disbelief and just stares after you. Once you leave, he sits up, and buries his head back into his hands. He sighs a little louder, and his voice is more strained.

“Stupid…” he mutters.

-

I walk back into the living room, plopping down on the chase and curling up in one of the many blankets that are strewn across the length of the couch and grab my phone.

I open up Instagram and start to go through everyone's stories, just to get everything out of the way. I click onto Nick's story and see a picture of not just him, Chris, Madi and Laura. But of all of my friends. And that hits deep.

I scrub a hand over my face with a sigh before clicking off of the story and closing out Instagram entirely.

For some reason, I feel sad knowing that I'm not there.

I feel my breathing pick up slightly and tears well in my eyes. I tighten my grip on my phone, my knuckles white, and close my eyes for a second, making the tears fall down my face.

My mind drifts back to the only other person in the house. The same person I have a love/hate relationship with.

After a few minutes of playing some weird iOS game, I hear footsteps coming from Matt's room. Then I feel the couch behind me sink.

He doesn't say a word. Just sits there.

I immediately notice his presence but decide to ignore it until I can't. My back is turned to him.

"What do you want?" I grumble, not turning around or turning my head to look at him.

He puts his head on the back of the couch. His shoulders are slouched, and his expression is… blank.

“I don’t know, I felt bad.”

I snort softly at his words.

"Since when do you feel bad for me? Yeah right." I mumble the last part to myself.

His eyes narrow a little. I can tell he heard me, but it's all silent for a few moments.

"It was rude that they just left you here." He shrugs, and his tone is... a little less rude than his normal snarky and sharp one.

"Yeah, well it's fine. I don't mind." I mutter and sniffle to clear my stuffy nose from crying.

He tilts his head to the side, looking at the back of your head.

“Do you have a cold, or something?”

"Oh, yeah. No, I'm fine." I keep my back turned to him, but I drop my phone and use the sleeve of my zip-up to wipe my nose and cheeks.

“Are you sure? Cause it kinda looks like you’re crying.” His voice is a little gentler than I'm used to hearing.

"I'm fine, Matt." My voice firmer and a bit louder than I was speaking.

He notices the change in tone, and he sounds a little sterner.

“You know, this is exactly why we can't be friends. You won't tell me what's going on when I ask, and then you get all defensive and mean when I do notice that something's wrong.” He crosses his arms tight, and he looks forward again.

"Well, maybe I don't tell you because you're usually the reason why." I sniffle again and try to breathe through the upcoming wave of emotions. My voice cracking slightly.

His eyes widening a little and he looks at you, his expression soft with regret.

"Am I the one who made you cry?"

His eyes stay soft, and he looks really concerned.

I sigh and shake my head, picking up my phone and pulling up the photo of Nick and the others.

"Not this time." I exhale sharply. My voice quieter than my previous tone and strained from me trying not to cry again.

He looks at you for a few more moments, and his face softens even more.

“What happened..?” He speaks as gently as he can.

I reach my phone out with a photo from Nick's story of him, Chris, Madi, Laura, Sab, Ari, and Oliver sitting at a table with big smiles on their faces.

I feel him grab the phone from my hand and presumably try to look at it better.

He looks at the phone screen, then looks back at you.

“They didn’t invite you?..”

I sit up on the couch, moving to a sitting position instead of laying and kick the blanket off me.

I chuckle dryly.

"And what's worse... is that it's my birthday today. I mean, I don't usually celebrate it but, it's my birthday and all of my friends are out without me." I bring my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around my legs and rest my chin on my kneecaps.

His head snaps up to my face, his brows low.

"Wait, it's your birthday...? And you're alone?"

I sniffle and rub my eyes. 

"Like I said, I don't mind anymore. But I just go so overwhelmed earlier when you told me to leave your room, I just started crying and my mind drifted back to that whole fact and I just-" I just sigh and put my forehead on my knees while closing my eyes, shaking my head softly.

His eyebrows raise.

“You don’t… mind being alone on your birthday?” His expression softens a bit when he watches you put your head on your knees.

I just shrug again and breathe in through my nose sharply.

"Wouldn't be the first time." I mumble to myself but instantly realizing Matt heard it.

His voice is a little softer, and he sounds concerned?

“Why are you so okay with being alone? Is it a defense mechanism or…?” He just looks at me, waiting for an answer.

"I never really got much attention as a kid. I was basically forced into isolation most of my childhood."

I lift my head and rest my cheek on my knee, my head turned to Matt.

His expression softens and he looks at the ground, listening carefully.

“Was it… hard? Being alone like that?”

His eyes move up to meet mine. The eye contact being genuine and not as snarky as usual.

"Sometimes. My older sister, Izzy, was the only person who ever paid attention to me and made sure I had everything I needed for like school and stuff." I straighten my legs out and lean my head on his shoulder.

He looks at you for a moment, but when he sees where you put your head, his entire expression softens. His eyes glance at you before he looks down at his own lap.

“I don’t like you being alone on your birthday… you deserve to be celebrated.”

"Well, I'm not alone. I mean, you're here, aren't you?" My voice calm and filled with an emotion not even I can identify.

“I mean… yes. I am here. But I… I don’t feel like that’s enough.”

His voice is soft and gentle. Whatever emotion is filling the air right now, he must feel it too.

"To me, one person is better than nobody. So, to me, as a person who has spent quite a few birthdays alone, that is more than enough." I slightly nuzzle my head onto his shoulder more comfortably.

His eyes stay focused on your face. He hesitates for a moment, then shifts a little closer to you.

I feel his arm wrap around my shoulders, and smiles when I nuzzle into his shoulder.

After a few moments of silence, I speak up.

"This is comfortable." I mumble as I shift around to drape my legs over his and rest my head on his shoulder, closer to his chest.

"This is comfortable…." He mumbles.

He hums quietly, the action vibrating his chest and calming me down even more. I feel him rub his hand up and down my arm, and his other one draped across my waist, holding my body close to his.

I slowly let my eyes drift shut. I bring my hand to rest on his chest next to my head. I bend my knees a little and move closer to him, if possible. Suddenly feeling even more exhausted than before.

He smiles when he feels one of your hands on his chest, and he holds you even closer to him. He lets a few seconds pass, but his brain is moving a mile a minute.

"Can I… do something?" he whispers, his voice a little strained.

I nod once against his chest, the movement slowed from my fatigue.

A beat later I feel the hand that's wrapped around my shoulders lightly carding through my hair, gently massaging my scalp.

I hum in content and snuggle closer to his body, yearning for his warmth.

After a while of just lying there, I feel myself lulling into a very inviting rest. The motion of his hands in my hair, and his warmth and the way his arms are wrapped around me are enough to make me drift off into a restful sleep, my breathing evening out.

-Matt's POV-

I lay there holding her in my arms, listening to her breathing. Feeling her chest rise and fall.

"You fell asleep on me..." I mumble and run my fingers through her hair one last time before pressing a kiss to her forehead.

I keep glancing down to see if she's woken up yet, but she looks s peaceful... I hope she's comfortable.

I lay there for a few more minutes doing nothing in particular, just looking at her in this peaceful state. I can't believe I could hate her. I think I only didn't like her because I've never seen this side of her before.

After a few more minutes, I shift around so I'm holding her bridal style, her head not moving from where it's rested on my collarbone.

Slowly I make it to my room and set her down on my bed, putting the comforter over her body and then sliding in behind her, slinging my arm around her waist and holding her to me.

I breathe in her scent and feel myself lulling off.

--MORNING-- -Y/N's POV-

I wake up, instantly feeling arms around me, holding me tightly, and breathing on the back of my neck.

At first, I'm alarmed but then I open my eyes and see I'm in Matt's bed.

'How did I end up in his bed??'

"Mm..." I hear from behind me.

I look around the bed for one of our phones, but neither are in sight.

"What time is it...??" I mumble to myself before giving up my search, concluding I had left mine on the couch last night.

"Shh... It's still early.." Wow tired sounds good on him.

He doesn't sound that awake yet, his voice a bit strained. I feel him nuzzle farther into the back of my neck, gently pressing a small kiss to the base of it.

I feel my cheeks heat up from the feeling of his lips on the back of my neck. I shift around to where I'm facing him. I brush a few strands of his hair from his eyes. 

"Sleepy looks good on you..." I mumble to no one in particular. Just stating a fact.

He slowly begins to open his eyes, his expression still sleepy and calm. He looks into my eyes, the little bit of sun peeking from the cracks in his blinds shining on his eyes in just the right way. His eyebrows raise a little bit, and I can see a small blush make its way across his cheeks.

"Morning..." His voice sounding softer than I've ever heard from him. Is he... smiling? It's hard to tell.

I allow myself to gaze at his entire face, inspecting every little thing. My gaze lingers on his lips for a moment before I meet his eyes again. 

"Morning." I smile softly, not minding this kind of contact or interaction.

He just stares at me for a second, his eyes still looking tired and a smile finding its way to his face.

After a minute or two of us looking at each other, I feel the warmth of his hands leaving my sides, making me frown lightly. He sits up, leaning against the headboard, and rubs his eyes.

"D'You sleep well? You probably weren't comfortable using me as a pillow." He chuckles quietly. His voice still quiet and laced with sleepiness still, the blush not as visible, but still there.

"I was, very comfortable. But may I ask how I ended up in the bed? I fell asleep on the couch... I think." I roll onto my back and sit up a little bit, laying my upper back on the pillows, putting a bit of distance in between us.

"Yeah, I um... I carried you to my bed..." His smile disappears and his cheeks flush, changing color from the blush. He looks at his hands in his lap, seemingly avoiding my eyes.

"I thought you'd be more comfortable? I don't know..." His voice trailing off, shaking his head softly.

I clear my throat and move to a sitting position, like him, leaning against the headboard also.

"Well, uh... either way thanks for... y'know, being there last night. I kind of liked the side of Matt I saw last night." I send him a small grin, despite him not looking at me for a few more moments.

He seems to perk up at my words, once finally registering what I had said.

"You.... liked seeing me last night...?" His face flushes again and he turns his head to me, a smile on his face.

I don't think I've ever seen his smile directed towards me. Always to his brothers, family, and friends. But having him smile at me feels... special. Like it's all for me.

"Yeah." I smile softly, looking down at my lap where my hands are folded together.

"That was probably one of the only times you didn't call my annoying or a bitch." I look back at him.

"So, yeah. I liked seeing the nice Matt." My smile drops a little.

"And I am sorry for being such a pain in the ass. I guess I can be kind of... persistent at times. And nagging." I slightly shrug one shoulder and pick at some of the fuzzies on my sweatpants.

His eyebrows raise again, and he looks straight at me.

"You really are something else... I didn't think you knew how to apologize!" He smiles playfully at me, but his comment hurts.

I swear I feel my heart break a little. I feel the tips of my ears warm up, and my face gets warm from the overcoming feeling of wanting to cry.

I clench my jaw and ball my left fist up, my nails digging into my palms. I move to sit on the edge of his bed and stare down at the hardwood floor.

"I think I'm going to head back to my place."

I can feel the smile drop from his face when he speaks, sounding shocked.

"Wait, what? It's still kind of early, why would you want to go already?"

I clear my throat and stand up.

"I've been over here for a week already; I should go back so I could clean up anything my roommates might've messed up." I zip my hoodie up all the way and walk to his door, not sparing him a glance, his comment hurting more than it should. I open the door and step out into the kitchen.

I hear him slide off of his bed and follow me out to the kitchen.

"Wait, don't leave. We have to talk about...." He trails of lightly. I can feel his gaze on me as I shuffle around looking for my wallet, keys and shoes.

"You and I.... We have to talk. About us..."

That makes me stop in my tracks, in the middle of the living room. I turn around to ace him.

"What is there to talk about?!" My voice strained and high pitched. Almost whiny in a 'I'm about to cry' way.

"So what? I had a moment of weakness, and you were there! Why does that have to change anything?" I throw my arms up and feel my throat starting to tighten.

"And- And just because I 'know how to apologize', doesn't mean shit! So, please tell me. I'm all ears. What is there to talk about?" I put the words in air quotes, because the way he said it, hurt my feelings. And especially after I tried to be the better person and own up to what I do and apologize for it.

His eyes narrow a little, and his voice sounds annoyed.

"Just because you had a moment of weakness doesn't mean you can just suddenly leave! There is more for us to talk about! Especially after last night."

It's obvious he's trying to keep his cool. Like he doesn't want to snap. But honestly, if he did snap, I wouldn't care. His eyes are sharp and focused as usual, but a hint of that softness from when we woke up is still faintly there.

"Nothing happened Matt! I was alone, so I went to your room, then you kicked me out of your room, and I got sad and started crying and you were the only one around! Plus, if you really fucking wanted to, which I wouldn't put it past you, you could've left me to cry alone! Laughed in my face! Called me another insult! You could've done anything! But you didn't. You stayed. And you comforted me until I fell asleep! That's all the fucking happened!" I moved closer to him. Every word I speak is accentuated by a jab of my finger to his chest.

My voice has raised a little and I'm getting angry now. My breathing has started to get a little bit faster because of the immense amount of frustration and anger I feel.

He lets out small grunts at every jab of my finger.

"Stop it! Just... stop it. You are so impossible to work with." He takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm down, but it's clear I've plucked a nerve. And good, not what I was going for, but a win is a win.

"You don't want to talk about last night because deep down, you know that you liked what you saw, but you don't want to admit it." He goes quiet and steps back, putting distance between us.

"Maybe I do like it! Maybe that's why I'm choosing to ignore it! Because I liked it! And I hate that I liked it. I hate that I let it happen. I hate that I allowed myself to cry in front of you. I hate how perfect you look, even when you're yelling at me. I hate how blue your eyes are and how much they remind me of the ocean. I hate how you can do what you want in my life, and I allow it! Because I like it!" I can feel tears of frustration spilling down my face. My eyes are wide and firm with anger and frustration. My lips twisted in a flat line, nostrils flared, and face flushed from anger and crying.

He seems to be caught off guard. His mouth slightly agape, watching my emotions switch back and forth all at the same time, looking speechless.

"O-oh..." I faintly hear him mumble. He looks...confused?

He takes a few small steps towards me, his voice so inviting.

"But... why do you hate that you like it?" His words come out in a whisper, his tone gentle, his eyes soft and calm, his face kind and inviting. He looks slightly nervous.

"Because I'm supposed to hate you! And I can't do that when I'm in love with you!" I accidently shout the words, and then immediately regret that. My eyes get impossibly wider, and my hands fly over my mouth.

He takes another step back, his jaw dropping lower. He stares at me for a few seconds, not saying anything, which makes worry churn in my stomach.

He blinks a couple times before he clears his throat and closes his mouth.

"Did- Did I hear you correctly...?"

"Fuck!" I ball my hands into fists and press the heels of my hands against my forehead and push my back against the closest wall, sliding down it to where I'm sitting on the floor with my knees to my chest.

I let out a few choked sobs and mumbles of curses before nodding.

"Yeah." My voice quiet and hoarse. I sniffle and squeeze my eyes shut for a second and open them again, dropping my hands to my sides.

I watch as he walks over to me, dropping to his knees next to me and pushes my knees away from my chest. He pulls me into his chest, wrapping his arms around my shoulders gently.

"Hey, hey... shh. Slow down. I'm not... I'm not going to judge. Just slow down. I'm right here." I hear him whisper. And feel him press a kiss to the top of my head.

"Don't panic. Just take a deep breath, let it all out. I'm right here."

That's all it takes for me to completely break down. Sobbing, and mumbling in between with hiccupped breaths. All the while he's stroking my hair and occasionally running his fingers through it.

"I'm so sorry." I manage to choke out between short breaths and sobs.

He presses another kiss to the top of my head and grabs one of my hands, his other hand rubbing my back in comforting patterns.

"You have no reason to be sorry... You're allowed to... to feel this way, okay? I'm not mad at you, and you shouldn't be mad at yourself either. Just... breathe with me, okay?" I feel his hold tighten, reminding me he's there.

I attempt to match his deep, calm breaths, but I can't. No matter how hard I try, I always end up hyperventilating after I cry.

My breathing starts to come out uneven, raggedly, too fast and choppy, making me lightheaded.

"Hey. Hey, look at me." He puts two fingers under my chin turning my head to face his.

"Breathe. Just breathe. Slowly in through the nose." He inhales slowly through his nose.

"Then slowly out through your mouth." He exhales slowly through his mouth.

"Do it with me. In."

Inhale slowly.

"Out."

Exhale slowly.

It's too difficult to match. But after many attempts, my breathing has slowed down and my head is no longer dizzy.

He watches as I control my breathing and return it to normal. Once it has returned to a normal pace, he lets go of my chin, leaving the area cold from where his fingers were.

"Good.... Deep breaths, that's right."

He lets out a small sigh and presses a kiss to my forehead before wiping my cheeks free of tears and tear stains.

"Can you tell me why you feel so bad about this?" He asks quietly.

"I don't even know. It just feels wrong, feeling this way. It feels like I'm supposed to see you as an annoying older brother but instead I developed feelings for you."

He hums gently, seeming to wrap his head around my words. He closes his eyes for a moment, taking one deep breath then opening them and looking into my eyes.

"Look, just because you're supposed to see me as a brother doesn't mean you can't have feelings for me. It just changes the dynamic. And you can't blame yourself either." He shakes his head once.

"Because it's not your fault. Not one bit." He cups my cheek and wipes away a few stray tears with his thumb.

"How did you... How did you know you were in love with me...? I mean, how- what made you realize it?"

I sniffle and clear my throat, not wanting my voice to give out. I take another deep breath before speaking.

"Last night. When you stayed and comforted me in my so called 'moment of weakness'. When you didn't push my head of your shoulder. Or even just the fact that you listened to me last night. And the way you held me was..." I trail off, not knowing how to describe it. It was so comforting and calm the way he held me, it put me to sleep. Literally.

He beams that sweet smile out, lifting my spirits a little.

"Did- did you like being comforted last night?" His voice becoming soft, and delicate.

I nod and lick my suddenly dry lips.

"Yeah. Hearing you talk that softly was really nice. And I liked being in your arms." My voice a little nervous from having to admit this out loud.

He looks as though he's processing my words, like I can see the little loading circle above his head, and then when it clicks, his entire face lights up.

He stands up, holding his arms out.

"Come here." His voice a little firm and commanding, but still soft and sweet.

I slowly climb to my feet and just about throw myself into Matt's arms, wrapping my arms around his torso and his arms wrap around my neck and shoulders.

"About fucking time you two stopped denying shit."

We break away from the hug quickly and turn to the kitchen where Chris is standing rubbing his eyes.

"What?"

"God, are you two blind? You guys have been ogling each other when the other wasn't looking. It's been driving me insane. And now Nick owes me 400 bucks."

Matt groans and I roll my eyes and plop down on the couch with a small smile on my face as I feel the cushion next to me sink and then an arm is being draped across my shoulders and pulling close to him.

--

After a while, we make it back into his room.

We're laying on his bed, both of us on our phones, not really talking.

Out of nowhere, he drops his phone and turns to me.

"You want to go to dinner sometime?"

I lay my hands in my lap, turning my head to look at him.

"Are you asking me on a date?"

"Are you going to say no?"

"No."

"Then yeah, I'm asking you on a date."

I smile at the dorky tactics and roll my eyes playfully.

I grab the part where the strings of a hoodie are on his hoodie and pull him to me, our lips colliding in the middle.

"I'd love to go on a date with you."

Tags ! ✮

@dwntwn-strnlo ✮ @ssturniolo ✮ @strniolo ✮ @20nugs ✮ @prettysturniolo ✮ @mxqdii ✮ @thetriplets3 ✮

If you want to be added to the list, all you have to do is ask !! ✮

I love all of you guys !

And I hope you all have a wonderful day and / or night ✮

[himejoshiangels]

batgirl 2000 reread bcs I'm crazyy...IM NUTS!!!

her and that damned rose..what does it all MEAN!!! it makes a reappearance l8r...also I missed this dynamic so so bad. me when I'm in a seeing my kids as an extension of myself competition and my opponent is Bruce Wayne

I always forget how fucking potent and tension filled the first arc of this comic is man. it's like, bcs cass can't speak or even have thought bubbles everything's communicated via her actions or the words of the ppl around her. every panel she's in has to be chock-full of emotion and every time she interacted with someone the implications and the ffUCKKKKK‼️

the atmosphere in this damn comic man

I dunno man not to "back in my day!" when it wasn't even my day. but comics these days don't trust the audience even a little. there's always gotta be paragraphs of text having a character explicitly state every detail of their motivation and like not that old comics didn't also do that but at least the words they wrote were pretty like fuck man who are they hiring to write this shit anymorw

this transition is straight out of a movie. I know we say this with literally everything but if ANY comic in the world should get an animated show it has to be this one. top contender. it's formulated like one already, it's episodic w perfect overall themes and bigger plots. even the vibe is perfect, the grainy mtv cartoon thing it has going. every day I pray for a batgirl 2000 cartoon it'd go so crazy jsut adapt the shit straight

batgirl 2000 just keeps hitting you and doesn't let up bcs in the same episode SORRY issue..where cass meets lady Shiva for the first time is also the same issue where babs first begins to address her as Cassandra

^^WHICH IS CRAZY bcs we have to keep in mind that up to this point cass is nameless, she's only been referred to as batgirl. this is one of the first times she goes out as not batgirl too tho, bcs Bruce benched her. it's GAHHHHH that whole thing where vigilantes angst and drama abt titles and legacies and their individual identities is exacerbated so so bad for cass bcs batgirl is the first name she's ever given. like it's all she ever knew and ever was. Cassandra came after and THIS

THIS PANEL RUGHT HERE ohhh my god it makes me crazy. she's only batgirl. she doesn't even have the words to explain it yet. she's only a reflection of the city she's sworn to protect its all she is and at first its lowkey all Bruce let's her be. not to mention. her relationship w babs, I'll speak on them l8r can't do it now I'll explode

a 1:1 animated series man. it's all I can think about so so many iconic moments. I don't kill but I don't lose either is already as cold as cold gets. the way the comic is formatted already fully visualizes as animated in my brain and it's so so fun to watch

LIKE LOOK AT THIS!! cinematic as he'll and it's not even moving..

both cass and Bruce hit the bullseye like....

Cass's perfectionism is such an underrated character trait of hers (in like the greater batfam fandom and more modern comics not here, never here) bcs she literally sacrifices her life about it. she's so self detrimental about how not perfect she is anymore and Bruce's nonsense doesn't help either. man sees himself reflected in a teenage girl once and looses all his damn sense. I'm just, yea we know "mediocre for a life time or perfect for a year" < god that goes hard, but the true tragedy that is cass's inability to see how unnatural and upsetting it is that her mind works the way it does at all, that she can run into bullets head on but complains that she could do it with more skill when she was 6 or whatever like girl...never evr letting myself become desensitized to her trauma, David cain when I get you...

AND ANOTHER THING AND ANOTHER THING!!! KKKKKKKKK!! the sideplots and b plots and background characters in this comic..each of them are offered so much empathy by the narrative and are written purposefully to reflect or foil whatever cass's current conflic is all while feeling like fully fleshed characters even if they only appear for one issue

^^ I have feeling abt these panels but my lawyers are advising me not to speak atvthis ttime

THFUCKINH THE ROSE!!AGAIN!!! so sure this is old news but my running theory is that it definitely ties into cass's sense of self and identity outside of her living weapon status. this whole issue is prime babs v. bruce custody battle material bcs babs wants cass to be able to have a normal life, to be someone outside of batgirl bcs where she is now isn't healthy even a little bit but bruce argues that cass doesn’t need that, all she needs is her devotion to the mission < now we don't have time to unpack all that but in this moment we see her make the choice, dropping the rose. in the very first panel of the whole comic cass does the very same thing, she drops the puzzle (representing her childhood) in favor of violence bcs at the time its all she knows THE PARALLELS HELP HELP MEEE

AND AND THIS NEXT WHOLE PANEL is so evocative of the first few issues where cass couldnt yet put her emotions into words. just atmosphere and silence. BECAUSE she's confused!!! bruce says justice is what she needs that it will make her feel better, feel normal but it doesn't!! she looks over the city and still feels..feeling!!!! she picks the rose back up and extends a hand out to barbara bcs she was right, she not Bruce, she can't sit in a cave all alone all day and feel better (<which arguably doesn't even work for him either)

in the next few issues she meets steph and tim which is soo fun bcs letting cass have friends her age opens up so much for potential dynamics. especially her relationship w steph, not just in a stephcass way but in a narrative foil way, to me at least

next post I'll probably talk abt cass's guilt, self hatred, and need for atonement but we move‼️

[dayseedrawz2]

My thoughts on episode 3 + theories!!

I'll talk more about this on my YT, but for now here's a tumblr version

(SPOILERS BELOW)

Okay so starting off, my unfiltered thoughts throughout the episode

-They actually spend time together when outside the adventures aww! (Not like they really have a choice, but still neat-)

-Jax being a bitch

-"Zooble turns Straight" Welp, the whooooooole fandom was right!

-Bubbles reversed dialouge. Damn they really don't want those content farms no more.

-CAINE AN POMNI INTERACTION YEAAAA (It was one piece of dialogue I'm so delusional)

-He made this adventure JUST for Zooble cuz they never go and he really wants them to GUYS HES NOT A VILLAN SEE?

-Jax being a bitch

-LUIGIS MANSION REFRENCE FUCKING YESSS

-Wow the visual here are super pretty :o

-...and horrifying

-Jax being a bitch

-I haven't mentioned yet but the lil quirky powers or whatever are cool

-Wow the lore Caine writes for these stories is just like your average artist who torments their OCs (he so me fr)

-2D ANIMATION!!! Also Kinger and Pomni being like the funniest duo ever

-HOLY FRICKLE FRACKLE THEY DEFINITELY DID NOT WANT CONTENT FARMS TO FIND THIS EPISODE

-the monster is awesome looking tho

-THE THERAPY SESSION SEGMENTSS AAA

-Also Caine has a Trans flag hanging somewhere in the circus neat

-He forgot he could use his powers to just teleport Zooble to him lol

-Back to the spooky stuff

-Wow Kinger can actually use a gun! (Never thought I'd be saying that sentence-)

-KINGER AND POMNI GO TO ACTUAL HELL WHILE THE REST JUST HAVE A TEA PARTY WITH MARTHA

-Also JAX IS TIED UP BAHAHAHA

- "You know how men are, always having the silliest priorities..." "Heh, dont i know it!" I think the bunny doll shippers really like that scene

-Zooble has some sorta body dismorphia and has opened up about it to Caine multiple times seems like

-Uhh Caine... you okay buddy? CAINE YOU GOOD BRO? CAI

-CAINE HAS EMOTIONS/SELF AWARNESS CONFIRMED???

-Pomni gets fucking posessed ok

-now we know why it looked like kinger was hitting Pomni with the shotgun

-KINGER AND QUEENIE WERE MARRIED CONFIRMED???

-Father daughter bonding aww...

-I love how the whole fandom took one good look at Ragatha and went:

GAY GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GA-

-also Pomni and Ragatha are on good terms now aww...

-Caine and Zooble Should Pass that pipe from ep 2 and legitemently vent to each other

-Jax is pissed because the Jester actually had a good fucking day for once lmao stay mad

-NOW WE KNOW WHY HE STAYS IN THAT PILLOWFORT IM GONNA FUCKIN CRY NOW

Overall, this was definitely my favorite episode so far! The team is getting better each and every episode! SOOO much happened here!! I'm super excited to see what happens next!!

Okay, THEORY TIME!!

-Okay so to start lightly, so far, all the episodes we've seen contain:

Gangles mask breaking

Jax breaks the 4th wall

A cute/sad heart to heart conversation or interaction

A reference to angels or god or Christianity in some way

Interesting right?? Wonder if this keeps up...

-On the topic of Christianity, I saw a theory saying that if it's true that the gang developed the game (which may be true because of that computer science line), When Pomni says "I knew it would end up like this... He just wants me to suffer..." she may not be referring to Caine, but her Boss at CnA.

If that boss exists and is NOT named able, Imma be mildly upset-

-Okay, Alot of people have been talking about Jax being an NPC, and I wanna bring up my opinion on this:

As I mentioned earlier, he always breaks the 4th wall, witch could be seen as a character in a game being like "What do YOU think?" *Insert Game Options here*

I saw another theory saying that if this is true, Jax might be self aware or sentient to some degree, and This is why he tortures everyone. He knows that this world Revolves around the players and nit him so he wants to make them more miserable.

-OKAY, NOW WHAT (I) WEVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR... THE WHOLE DEAL WITH CAINE GLITCHING OUT AN' STUFF!

As one of many Caine angst connisuars on this platform, I really enjoyed this scene...

Caine knows that he only exists to make adventures and if he can't do it well enough than he serves ZERO purpouse and his existence is useless... (he's just like me fr)

This has SO MUCH POTENTIAL FOR A SERIES FINALE.

Since in each episode we've (mostly) seen a character being comforted (mostly Either Pomni being comforted OR someone being comforted BY Pomni)

What if the last episode had Caine and Pomni having a heart to heart?

(Shutup this is not about showtime I swear let me have this-)

Someone abstracts, (Ragatha or Kinger probably,) and it's Caine's last straw. He finally breaks and the circus goes into ruins. Pomni does her best to comfort him. This could go one of two ways:

Either she sucseeds and happy ending for everyone :D

OR, they fail and The Circus is destroyed, Taking Caine down with it.

Maybe then that would be how they escape cuz if Caine is emotionaly attached to the circus, it would be completely destroyed or erased if Caine finally broke...

The angst potential is crazy...

This is terrifyingly close to what I wanted to do with R-M AU UHHH I MEAN-

Anywayyyy I believe that's all! If yall have anymore theories lemme know!!

[whumpofalltime]

whump of all time

SEMIFINALS!

Find links and propaganda under the cut. Quarterfinalist and later match-ups are untagged, so your votes and reblogs matter!

Once Upon A Time:

(gifset 1, gifset 2)

"There's blood, wounds, captivity, bondage, a slow-dipping-mechanism, a big rescue, and excellent acting by Colin O'Donoghue - who delivers the tiniest whimper and the most delectable of trembles for our whump-loving eyes to devour!" ~ @killian-whump

"[...] Killian was BROKEN. Absolutely and heart-wrenchingly devastated. He was tortured within an inch of his life (… or death, I guess) and practically left to slowly drop into a pit of eternal despair.

Killian was not easy to break. He would get injured and get back up with a sneer and an "I'm alright love you should see the other guy".

But to reach that point? The point of telling Emma she should have kept herself safe instead of saving him from this torment, to hold on to her like she was his lifeline, to SMILE that small smile from the first bit of hope he'd gotten since he ended up there?

The relief upon watching this episode for the first time was visceral. For two episodes we knew Hook was being tortured, we saw him try and fail to limp to safety, we saw his resolve and defiance desperately hold on, we saw him accept his fate, we saw him preferring to be tortured further than hurt his friends… And then he got saved! And he had no witty comeback, no effort to hide his pain. He just fucking collapsed in the arms of his beloved, of his saviour, and held on for a moment to realize that it was real, she was there, he was finally safe.

Add to that some amazing, jaw-dropping, emotional acting by Colin O'Donoghue, how can you get any better than that?

Anyway vote for ouat. Because this whole torture mini arc existing is probably what caused a chain reaction of me understanding and accepting I love whump, so. I wouldn't be here torturing blorbos if it weren't for it 🤣" @piracytheorist

"god tier acting" ~ @caliburn-the-sword

The Young Blood Chronicles (Save Rock and Roll's music videos, Fall Out Boy):

(link)

"Everyone gets bloodied, bruised, beaten up, tortured, rescued, limbs are amputated - it's brutal. Alone Together is particularly strong."

sorry for being late, but you want YBC propaganda? then you're getting YBC propaganda. I know you're a FOB fan, but I will be writing this for the benefit of those who don't know what YBC is, for better propaganda purposes! and yeah this is gonna be LONG. sorry.

So! The Youngblood Chronicles (shortened to YBC) is a series of 11 music videos made by the band Fall Out Boy, for their album Save Rock And Roll (you know this album, it's the one with My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark on it). The whole thing is quite short, less than fifty minutes long (even shorter if you don't count the uncut version's credits!!), and every single music video has some element of whump in it. This propaganda is gonna break down each individual music vid, and at i'll also talk a little bit about the irl context the album was written in, and why even THAT can be a little bit whumpy if you're insane like me!

(note: i'm going in the original release order over the uncut order, hence why i'm starting with MSKWYDITD instead of The Phoenix)

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark: Arguably the least whump-y out of all of them, but man, seeing all of Fall Out Boy's discography and memorabilia be burnt while people are dancing around the destruction? Man, when you know the real life stuff (the reception the band had in 2009, leading to them to take a three year hiatus)... and at the end, you see four guys bound in the back of a van!! And that van is getting burnt!! Burn everything you love and burn the... ashes.

The Phoenix: NOW here's the first of MANY whump tastes you'll get. Patrick Stump, the singer/cutie of the band, gets kidnapped, tied to a chair, has his hand CHOPPED OFF and mailed to his bandmate/best friend Pete Wentz, then gets tied down and utterly tortured by women who are laughing at his misery the entire time, getting prodded and stabbed by tools for... well, you'll see. By the end of the video, Pete and the other two members of FOB (Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley) have been kidnapped by these mysterious women too, with Pete specifically getting kidnapped by the blonde woman he was in bed with when Patrick's hand got delivered to him. If you enjoy cute boys getting tied down, covered in blood, and writhing around like worms while getting tortured... well you'll enjoy all of YBC but specifically you'll enjoy this!! I did :D! The war is won, before it's begun, release the doves, surrender love...

Young Volcanoes: Good news, FOB has been reunited! Bad news, by the women who dismembered Patrick! And now all the band members are tied to chairs, hooked up to IVs full of god knows what types of drugs, and blindfolded (all except Patrick). They are then forced to drink, snort hard drugs, and are force fed Patrick's organs! Yep, all four of them are forced to eat their lead singer's guts, and are so fucking drugged up they don't even realize what's happening (and now you know what the women were doing to him in the last mv, and you even get a nice little shot of the hack job of stitching him back up)!! Patrick hallucinates everyone having fun, but of course, at the end, all of them are knocked out because of the drugs. Americana, exotica, do you wanna feel a little beautiful baby?

Alone Together: This is the song the OG propaganda mentioned, and for good reason. All four of them are shipped off into little personalized torture rooms, and, well, tortured! Pete is able to break out and even steals the hook from the girl who was torturing him, but little does he know that'll be his own undoing... also, in general, this song has some whumpy elements, specifically the line "my heart is like a stallion/they love it more when it's broke-in"... but notice how easy it is to hear "broke-in" as "broken"! At the end of the video, Pete is at least able to find Patrick (Joe and Andy have NOT been having a good time, either!! But sadly, they aren't found by Pete, but Pete DOES find Big Sean), and is even able to attach the hook to the stump (ha!) where his hand used to be. But something is clearly wrong with Patrick now. His eyes are yellow, and as the song ends, we hold on him, sneering and twitching. This is the road to ruin - and we're started at the end...

The Mighty Fall: First off if you say this is the worst song off of SRAR I will hunt you for sport. OKAY ANYWAYS, chronologically this comes after MSKWYDITD, and yeah, the four guys are the members of FOB. Pete is able to free himself with Patrick's new hook hand, and is able to get the other three out while Pete is hacking up a lung from the fire they just barely escaped. But they're not done getting their shit rocked yet. A gang of children show up (the leader being the kid Patrick waved at right before he was kidnapped back in the Phoenix MV), and proceed to separate them and beat the living shit out of them. The leader kid who's chasing Patrick plays something on a boombox... which triggers Patrick to go yellow-eyed again (from here on out i'll call it "going Youngblood" or "Youngblood self"). It was confirmed in the commentary track that ANY music would cause him to go Youngblood. And knowing Patrick IRL fucking loves to create/compose music... yeah! Take something he loves and turn it into something that drives him insane!! I'm normal!! And also the irl parallel you could draw to his solo career doing the same thing to him (on a less uh Dramatic level but you know)!!! Ouch!!!! Big Sean is able to save Patrick, but at the cost of his own life (and a killer rap verse... HELL YEAH I'M A DICK GIRL, ADDICTED TO YOU). Oh, how the mighty fall in love...

Just One Yesterday: The last vestiges of comfort you're gonna get for a WHILE. The four are separated, getting even more beaten up, Pete vomits up a snake, Andy gets his shit rocked by a homeless guy, Joe has to use white sheets as a makeshift tourniquet bc his leg got fucked up in The Mighty Fall MV, and Patrick is picked up by a kind stranger (hi Foxes! you have a very pretty voice! PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE STEERING WHEEL!). And finally, finally we get a hope spot. Fall Out Boy is reunited (the part where Andy just grabs onto Patrick's arm, in disbelief they're both alive... augh!!! AUGH!!!!), and for a moment, it seems they've been delivered to a hospital... before Foxes' eyes go completely black, looking at Patrick... and turns on the radio. She's able to trigger the Youngblood. And now Patrick is gone. The other three scramble into the hospital, Patrick not far behind, determined to kill them to stop the noise in his head. If Heaven's grief brings Hell's reign, then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday...

Where Did The Party Go: Patrick, now fully consumed by the Youngblood brainwashing, is now stalking his bandmates in a hospital. Patrick is seeing visions of the hospital as an abandoned party, Andy has to painfully disinfect the wounds he's gotten, Pete is able to call for the police, and Joe... oh, poor Joe. He barricades himself into a room, but not well enough. Patrick finds him, and kills him, slitting his throat with the hook hand, showing no remorse at all... until Andy and Pete find them. The Youngblood wears off, and Patrick looks to what he's done, and is horrified at what he's done to his friend. And, bad news for him, the police are here, ready to arrest the murderer. All Andy and Pete can do is watch as tears roll down Patrick's eyes. And for the extra IRL context, this was the first song written for the album that made Pete and Patrick realize they had to get FOB back together... so lets match that with a music video where the member who helped get the band together in the first place dies. By the hands of the kid he found. Let's fade away together, one dream at a time...

Death Valley: Joe gets... uh, a little comfort? I mean, he thinks he's getting sent to heaven but goes to hell, buuuuut I think doing drugs in rock and roll hell with Tommy Lee is actually a pretty sweet deal, better than the deal the other three got! Pete and Andy are being interrogated while Patrick is in a jail cell. We find out that the cult that kidnapped them, Silence the Noise, is lead by Pete's girlfriend from WAAAAY back in the Phoenix MV, Courtney Love. And at the end of the MV... Patrick is bailed out of jail by Silence the Noise. They have him again. And this time, they're not gonna let him walk out until he's fully under their control. 'Cause tonight it's just fire alarms and losing you...

Rat a Tat: Silence the Noise has Patrick, and they utterly brainwash him, A Clockwork Orange style, with electroshock stimulation to keep him from looking away or closing his eyes, until there is nothing left. Patrick Stump does not exist anymore. Only the Youngblood, pliant under the control of Silence the Noise, tasked to destroy what he once loved; music. Andy dies at the hands of the cult, and now Pete has to protect a briefcase, the thing that got them into this mess, and keep it away from Silence the Noise, all while his best friend hunts him down. Are you ready for another bad poem?

Miss Missing You: THE WHUMPIEST OF THE WHUMP. What if we were best friends but you've been driven insane and I know the only way to stop you is to kill you and it was my fault you got into this mess and I was the one who gave you the weapon that will be my own undoing. What if we both died at the same time. What if we died, both of us failing the mission we had before us. What if that was a reference to one of their first music videos. What if this song was originally written for Patrick's solo album but he realized it was more of a Fall Out Boy song so it was scrapped until now. What if there's a legit argument to be made that half the lyrics for this song was written by Patrick. What if we were both boys. Grips walls, yeha i'm normal. If you don't watch ANY other music vid, watch Miss Missing You. Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger. The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger.

Save Rock And Roll: And our final track gives us a final bit of comfort. Patrick is able to overcome the Youngblood, and gets into heaven, where all of FOB is finally, finally reunited. God (aka Elton John) gives them new instruments and brings them back to earth, so they can do what they love; play music together. Which just so happens to release people from the control of Silence the Noise! But, because we can't have nice things, a cult within Silence the Noise got a hold of the briefcase, and summoned a spirit that starts to kill everyone. FOB stands together, and blasts the evil spirit, the blood coming up to the gates of heaven and covering Elton John in it. And... that's how it ends. No true resolution. Just Elton John covered in blood, as the song fades out. Oh, no! Wherever I go, go! Trouble seems to follow! I only plugged in to save rock and roll!

UH. AGAIN I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTH. but i really wanted to express just how much WHUMP they manage to fit into less than fifty minutes, all backed by an amazing album colored by the three years they were apart. colored by how they grew, colored by how bad the hiatus was for Patrick specifically, colored by how Confessions of a Pariah got Pete to reach out to help him, and this album came out of it, Fall Out Boy came back out of it, and now here we are, ten years later, with the title track being performed every night for their concert, with all the band singing the final lines together, and the line you are what you love, not who loves you hitting every single night.

SORRY. LISTEN TO FALL OUT BOY. thanks for letting me rant.