#thanks a lot Fallout TV series

[vvyvernicus]

Very tempted to just start writing little shorts about Mr. House. Kind of like my snow globe one but with more detail.

[justmeinadaze]

Secret Underneath Part 7 ( Steddie X Plus Size You)

Warnings: Older (Mid thirties) Sugar Daddies Steve and Eddie/ Young (Early to mid 20s) Baby Fem Plus Size Reader, SMUT, slapping (brief), reader just letting out some aggression with Daddy's help, dirty talk, etc. FLUFF, they love her and tell her so a lot.

ANGST (because I'm me), the discuss more about what happened with the fallout of Gina and how they reacted when it came to Y/N. More insight into why the guys and Gina split (she's not a good woman). Reader does a thing at the end, I'm not calling it a cliffhanger but it could be construed as one.

Word Count: 5342

Series Here/ Donate to Me

“Would either of you like more coffee?”, your mom asked as the pot in her hand hovered over their cups. 

“Oh, no ma’am. Thank you though.”, Steve politely smiled as Eddie shook his head to answer her question as well. “The breakfast was delicious, sir. Thank you for allowing us to join you and your family.”

“Ok, calm down, son. That’s not the way to suck up to me and her mother.”

Both boys glance your way as you try to stifle your giggles behind you mug as you sip your coffee.

“I think I’m starting to see where princess gets her sarcasm from.”, the rockstar grins.

“Yeah, we spoiled her too much.”, you mom teases as you stick your tongue out at her reply. 

“If I may ask, what would be the way to suck up to you because we love Y/N very much and we would do anything possible to earn all three of your trust and acceptance back.”

The room became silent as Steve’s words hung in the air. 

“To be fair, honey, when it comes to us, our first experience with you is hurting our daughter. We didn’t even know she was seeing anyone again.”, you mother relayed as her eyes flicked towards you. “Everything we know about you is either from the tv or her when she came home crying.”

Eddie’s eyes squeezed shut as her words pierced his heart; they never wanted to be the ones responsible for your pain. 

“You may not like hearing it but it’s true. You have to accept what you did to her first before you can move forward. A thousand years of marriage taught us that.”

“Oh my God.”, your father sighs. “You calm down to. Everyone at this table is so theatrical. I need back up. Where is Mya?”

“Mya is probably knocked out but I’m sure she’ll be around later.”, you smile. “There’s a lake behind the house here if you guys want to go for a walk.”

“Yeah, we’d love that.”

***

“If you’d like after this, we can run to your hotel and grab your clothes so you can change. You can stay in our house to if you want.”

Eddie’s palm balances just under your own as you hold your arms out while walking along the bank of the water. 

“We don’t have to. I mean…we don’t want to over crowd you or make you uncomfortable.”

“Said the men who were asleep at the foot of my bed this morning.”

“We were worried about you.”, Steve replied as he carefully traveled behind you to make sure you didn’t fall. 

“Well, I’m offering but if you’d be more comfortable in the hotel I’d understand. My family and Mya can be a lot.”

As you jump down, the metalhead guides your decent making sure you’re alright before you three continue moving forward. 

“They are a part of you and you aren’t a lot.”

“Not enough to be open with me.”, you grumble before you watch their heads hang. “I’m sorry.”

“No, um, no reason to be. You’re right.”

“Can I ask…what’s been happening since I left?”

“Jesus, fucking everything.”, Steve sighs as he takes a seat under a tree and you both follow him down with you in between. “I have no idea how she’s doing all these interviews at one time. We can barely get through one in general without being exhausted.”

“Gina and her lawyer have been making the rounds on daytime talk shows and sites like TMZ. Our lawyer says that tactic works in our favor because she either puts her foot in her mouth or contradicts herself so we can use that in court.”, Eddie exhales heavily. “All we’ve done so far is make that statement on Harrington’s social media which everyone has picked apart already.”

“Did that do anything for you?”, the mogul asks as his gaze shifts your way. “We were hoping that referencing you that way in our statement would help keep all that chaos away a bit.”

“I wouldn’t know since I haven’t looked at my phone. The only reason I know you said anything is because I had a weak moment and scanned your profiles on my computer.” Your head hung for a moment before you sarcastically chuckled and looked his way. “Now Gina’s interview saying that you’re only dating me because I’m the opposite of her, that was an accident. My mom was watching her morning shows and…”

“She’s not entirely wrong.” Your head swiveled towards Eddie as you waited for him to explain. “You ARE the complete opposite of her which is another reason we love you. If we wanted another Gina we could have just stayed with her.”

Your eyes closed at the words “we love you’, not quite ready to believe and accept them just yet. 

“So, yeah, did you guys have a lake like this back in Hawkins?”

“Y/N—”

“We should probably get you to your hotel so you can change and get your stuff.”, you interrupt as you hastily rise to your feet and dust off your pants. 

“Baby—”

“No.”, you growl as you put up your hand to cut him off. “No, Steve. You both don’t get to call me that right now. Don’t let this whole thing fool you. I’m still incredibly angry with you and it’s going to take more than a conversation and a meal with my parents to get me back.”

Silently the three of you walk back to your house but your mom’s loud voice cuts through the winter air as you come around the corner. 

“…and after the things she’s saying about MY daughter?! Gina Frost can go fuck herself!”

Eddie moves first, powerwalking forward and placing himself between a well-dressed man and your mother. 

“If I were you, Daniel, I would get in your car and go back to New York.”

“Are you threatening me, Mr. Munson? I’m not a woman you and your friend are dating so I imagine not.”, the man responds sarcastically. 

The rockstar angerly steps towards him but you hastily grab his arm and in return he stands up straighter to make sure you’re shielded with his body. 

“Is this Miss Y/L/N? I just need to talk with you if you’re able—”

“She’s not involved in anything between us and Gina. If you have a problem with that, you can take it up with our lawyer.”, Steve defends, placing himself beside his friend to block the man from you and your family. 

“Trying to silence another woman, gentlemen?”

“No.”, you answer for them as you push forward. “They don’t speak for me nor would they ever try. You have one minute to say what you want before my father gets involved and trust me, you thought my mom was combative?”

“Can I at least have a minute alone—”

“No. 55 seconds.”

The man reaches into his pocket and hands you a card that you pass to your mother around your protecters. 

“I’m looking for some more character witnesses to corroborate Gina’s statements—”

“Oh, honey, I’m the last person you should ask because from what I’ve heard our experiences with these men have been very different. 30 Seconds.”

“Are they? How was the charity event? They used to bring her every year.”

“She was their partner. Try again. 25 seconds.”

“It took them awhile to do it. Even longer for her to move into their apartment. How long have you three been together?”

“Who says we’re together? They’re my friends. 15 seconds; you better make them count.”

“Gina was their friend for years before they got together and before they started lavishing her in gifts and all that material bullshit. How long was it until they started doing the same with you? This case was started almost 7 months ago. When did your friendship with them begin?”

Your eyes blink as your jaw tightens and you try to hide the doubt that hits your heart at his line of questioning. 

“Time’s up. Get off my family’s property now.”

##################

You sit quietly as you stare vacantly out the window while both men quickly change and place themselves on the bed in front of you.

“What are you thinking about, Y/N?”, Steve asks with a soft tone as both men’s eyes constantly scan you over with concern. 

“I don’t want to believe him…”

“But you do?”, Eddie follows trying to hide the pain in his voice. 

“I can’t help it. You hid things from me and then you fucking left! No, you expected me to be ok with you disappearing for ‘some time’ which is way worse.”

“Fuck me her lawyer is fucking good.”, the mogul breathily laughs as he shakes his head. “Yeah, the case was started two months before we met you but do you know how long we were separated before we ever considered trying to find a partner again? Eight months. Eight months of alcohol filled days and hiding in our apartment because the idea of going out sounded exhausting. Eight months of watching her plaster her pages with pictures of her tongue down other men’s throats after deleting everything that had to do with us.”

“When we got served those papers, we spiraled even more.”, the other boy continued. “It finally got to the point where I told him we needed to try and get back out there. We started slow going out to bars or parties and we met so many women, Y/N. They would fucking beg to come home with us but we could never do it.”

“Not the right target?”, you sass but regret it immediately when their hurt and anger filled eyes meet yours. 

“We told you when we first spoke with you that we aren’t into ‘yes’ girls and that’s all they were. We went to the site and it was a bunch of the same shit.”

Steve pulled out his phone and ran his fingers along the screen until he found what he wanted and began reading. 

“Please Daddy. I’ll do anything to be yours especially if you can afford to get me something as expensive as your shoes! I’ll do whatever you want.”

“I’m not really into the threesome thing but if you show me your faces I can pick one of you and give you the best sex you’ve had in your life.”

“I’d love to meet you but we may need to go to the mall first. You can’t take me out in cheap clothes like the ones you’re wearing.”

Your eyes rolled as you listened to what the other Babies had said to them hating that women like them existed especially since you knew a lot of “Daddies” preferred that. After pushing another button on his phone, a high-pitched giggle filled the room.

“Stevie! Answer the phooooooone! Ugh, fine. Whatever. I just wanted to call to tell you guys I won’t be able to make it tonight for dinner. My friends are doing this thing and its sooooo stupid. Do, um, do you think you can send me $300 so I can have some real fun? I promise I’ll make it up to you two! Love you!”

“Steve, I’m out here fucking waiting for you. Why aren’t you here? If this is about me saying I didn’t feel like sleeping next to trailer trash tonight, Eddie knows I didn’t mean it. I was just…you know how I am when I get upset and he promised to take me with him to that interview with Kimmel so I could meet him backstage! It’s not my fault I got wasted and made him miss the stupid plane.”

“Fuck you both! I’m fucking done! I needed you this weekend and neither of you were there! The fucking press and people on the street are calling me a fucking whore and TMZ is making the rounds with my fucking mugshot! You’re going to regret throwing me away! The least you can do is send me some money for the hotel since I can’t go fucking home now.”

“Wow…well she sounds like a winner.”

“Stop it.”, Eddie rumbled in his Daddy tone that had you unintentionally sitting up straighter. “We’re trying to explain something and this is serious, Y/N. Every Baby we talked to reminded us of her…except you.”

“And it’s not because we were targeting you or needed you to show how, I don’t know, how fucking amazing we are or some shit because we aren’t. We’re flawed and sometimes we can definitely be assholes but I swear to God, Y/N, we never meant to hurt you. These past few months have seriously been the best of our entire lives. I offer to pay for things and take care of you because I love you. No, hey, look at me.”, Steve scolds when you avert your gaze at his declaration again. 

“It’s not because we need to establish a relationship quickly or whatever Gina’s lawyer is preaching. You have never tried to take advantage us and selfishly we took advantage of that by commanding you to wait in your apartment without telling you want was going on. That’s never going to happen again, baby girl, and I don’t care what I have to do to make sure it doesn’t.”

“Trust us, sweetheart, the speed of this relationship startled us to. We constantly asked ourselves if we were moving too fast even though we told you we needed to go slow. But like Steve said everything we do is because we love you… I love you.”

Your eyes took them in as they spoke, fully absorbing what they were telling you. 

“Is there anything else I should know about you and her?” After exchanging a look, they shake their heads. “Please don’t lie to me.”

“We’re not, baby, we promise.” As tears cloud your vision, you close your eyes to try and suffocate them as they betray you, falling down your cheek. Ringed hands cup your face as a forehead presses to yours. “What can we do, Y/N? Tell us how we can help, princess.”

“I want to be mad at you.”, you whisper.

Eddie’s head straightens, understanding what you need. 

“Then be mad. Let it all out, baby. You aren’t at home and we’re on the top floor. Shout, scream, hell, hit us if you need to. Just like you we know the word and we know when to use it.” Still seeing trepidation in your eyes, he clears his throat as he stands to his full height. “Come on, sweetheart. Don’t be a little baby.”, he coos with a mocking tone that has you standing to match him. 

“I’m not being a baby!”

“Oh really, little girl? Sound like a baby to me.”

Your palms reach out to shove him but the rockstar quickly bounces back as you push at him again a bit harder.

“M’NOT a baby! I have every right to be angry with you!”

“Yeah, ya do, baby! Let it out! Tell me why you’re angry with us!”

“I was ALWAYS vulnerable with you and more than accommodating but you both couldn’t do the same with me! You hurt me!”, you screamed as you began punching his chest with your fist barely moving him in place. “You made me feel like trash! You took me out and treated me like a queen but as soon as things got hard for you two you threw me away!”, you began to sob. “You gave me hope that I could finally be fucking happy after what Holden did and then with one letter you ripped it all away!”

Dropping your arms to your sides, they watched as your body shook as the tears continued to flow. Abruptly, you turned to leave but when Steve’s hand reached out to grab your wrist, your palm reeled back before smacking him hard across the face. 

The mogul didn’t say at word or let you go as his head swiveled back and his forehead fell on yours. Your eyes remained zeroed in on his chest as it heavily rose and fell with each angry pant, matching you own as the intense energy hung in the air. Again, you slapped him but it wasn’t as hard as before. Repeating your actions, the force of your palm connecting with his cheek became less and less until you were just cupping his face in your hands. 

Your lips roughly attach to his as a small whine leaves your throat at the taste you missed so much. A needy atmosphere replaces the old one and Steve’s strong palms grip your thighs as you jump up to wrap your limbs around him. 

Tumbling onto the bed behind you, the mogul desperately tugs down your jeans and panties as you fumble with his belt before reaching into to his own pants to free his cock. The two of you groan into each other’s mouths as you collect some of your slick with his tip and guide him into your entrance.

Hovering above you, Steve delivers a couple of slow but deep thrusts that have your eyes rolling shut and your fingers threading through his hair when his entire body presses against yours. 

“We’re so sorry, honey.”, he whispered breathlessly. “Mmph—ah, fuck—we didn’t think…fucking stupid.”

You shook your head and pushed his closer to your neck as your legs clung to him tightly.

“It hurt me the most be-because…Jesus Christ, Daddy, just like that.”

“Because why, baby? Tell Daddy.”

Your pussy clenched around him as his heavy pants rippled through your ear making you mewl as he pumped into you at a harder pace.

“Because I love you to, Steve.”

The moan that rumbled through him was one of the most beautiful sounds you had ever heard as he thrust into you so fast the bed shook aggressively underneath you. Keeping his arms secure around you, the man pushed up onto his knees, bringing you with him as he continued to thrust upwards as your palms held his face and his eyes locked in on yours. 

“Please…again…”

“I love you, Steve, so much.”

“Oh shit.”

As he pressed his head into your chest, you felt his release begin to paint your insides and at the sudden action your body trembled as you came.

When you glanced his way, Eddie couldn’t wait any longer, having been stroking his cock at the display before him and desperate to feel you in his arms again. Pulling you off his friend, he stepped out of his jeans and threw of his shirt, positioning you onto all fours with your ass in perfect view for him. 

The rockstars fingers dug into your thick hips as he slid himself inside you and leaned over to lay his chest against your back. 

“Fuck, sweetheart, we missed you so much. I promise we will—mmm—never make you feel like that again. You deserve the world, baby.”

With your eyes close, your mouth blindly searched for his and he obliged as your lips passionately mingled together. 

“I-I love you to, Eddie. Fuck, Daddy, please… harder.”

Pushing up onto his palms, he pulled his cock all the way back before slamming back into your cunt hitting that soft spot inside of you repeatedly that had you a moaning mess. His sweaty forehead was resting on the side of yours and as you opened your eyes, you watched as his gorgeous features contorted into pleasure as he picked up his rhythm.

“That’s it, Daddy. M-Make me cum.”

You couldn’t help but smirk when his nose scrunched in focus as he did what you requested. Falling completely on top of you, your hand quickly grabbed his as your pussy quivered around him and you whimpered as the coil snapped in your belly. The feeling was almost too much for Eddie as his pace sputtered and he grunted against your skin as his release filled you. 

After gently pulling his softening cock out of your now sore but content body, Eddie rolled you onto your back and continued to kiss any part of your neck and face he could reach until a second set of lips joined him on your opposite side. 

“I forgive you.”, you mumble causing their movements to stall before they raised both their heads to look at you. “I forgive you. I’m sorry I broke your rule about googling you. I only looked up your lawyer’s information. I swear I haven’t be looking up information since—”

Steve’s palm over your mouth cut you off.

“We understand. That rule was bullshit anyway… Another way for us to hide Gina.”

“We looked through your socials.”, Eddie revealed as his hand brushed some of your hair away from your face. “We had never done it before because, like you said, we wanted to learn about you from you but when we couldn’t get a hold of you…”

“Did you find anything interesting?”, you tease making both men smile.

“There’s a video on there one of your kids tagged you in where they were joking with you about slang or something. They seem to really love you.” Eddie’s grin grows when you lightly giggle. “Y/N, we’re sorry about not updating you more on our case. It didn’t even occur to us how this could ripple out and affect your job.”

“We’d hate ourselves if we were the reason you lost something like that.”

“I forgive you.”, you repeat before continuing. “I do have to make it clear, though, that this can’t happen again. I meant what I said, I do love you both but I’m not going through all of this again. I…refuse to.”

Their lips kiss your cheeks as they hold you tighter to them. 

“This is never happening again, sweetheart.”

“We promise, honey.”

#####################

As you step out of the shower at your house, you smile as you listen to Eddie’s cackle echo through the house at something your dad said before Steve’s lighthearted tone tried defending whatever was said. 

Glancing towards the drawer by your bed, you let out a heavy sigh before reaching in and grabbing your device to scroll through the screen. 

All of your socials had tags attached that you assumed were people claiming the “mystery woman” was you and the comments everyone was saying in response. There were a ton of emails from news outlets asking for you to say something or give them a quote to confirm it was indeed you that went to the charity event with them but thankfully nothing from your boss or the school. 

You saw a bunch of texts from Mya, your mom, and surprising your ex who assured you he wouldn’t say another to the press even though a few got his information as well. 

Going through your voicemails, you skipped passed reporters and the couple from Gina’s lawyer that you couldn’t care less about until a familiar voice followed through your phone. 

“Hey, sweetheart.”, Eddie chuckled with a slight slur in his tone that told he was probably drunk at the time. “I just wanted to call you myself because…Because I was thinking about you. I think about you a lot…like all the time, Y/N. Even before all this bullshit with our ex… I would be in the studio with the guys and be like ‘I wonder what pretty girl is up to?’ You’re so beautiful, baby, inside and out. I had a dream about you last night. I was back home in my trailer and I heard you screaming outside. I ran to find you b-b-but I couldn’t. I started panicking like ‘She’s gonna think I didn’t try…try to come save her.’”, he sobs making your heart break at the sound. 

“No matter what, princess, I’d be here for you. I love you so much. I’ve never loved anyone as much I love you… Fuck…I shouldn’t leave t-this on your machine. Pfft, Machine. Like it’s the 90s still.”, Eddie laughs at his own joke. “Anyway, um, yeah…I just wanted you to know…that we miss you an we love you, baby. We so sorry…”

The rest of the message was his heavy breathing where you assumed he fell asleep making your grin grow as you wiped one of the tears that fell. Pushing the button for the next message, Steve’s gravelly voice followed. 

“Hey, Y/N. Um, I’m so bad with these things. Eddie’s a lot better with technology than I am but I’m so desperate to hear your voice, honey. I miss the sound so much and not just your voice but your cute little laugh or even the adorable way you sneeze with your entire soul.” When he laughed you giggled along with him. “Jesus…we really fucked up, huh, baby girl? When I was a kid, I would watch women come and go from my dad’s office and I would think ‘I’m never going to be like him. If I had a good woman like my mom at home I would never hurt her like this. I would never make her feel unloved or unwanted.’… We understand if you need some space… I just…I just don’t want you to think we’re doing ok without you. We love you, Y/N.”

When you selected the next message, you have expected it to be another declaration of love or an apology from the guys but when a high pitched sigh came through grating your ears you were surprised. 

“I hope I’m calling the right number. I’m usually a texter but I felt like something like this required a call. My name is Gina Frost and I am Eddie and Steve’s ex. Listen, honey, for your own good, leave them now while your heart is still intact. I spent years trying to be what they wanted me to be and it was never enough. The first time I stood up for myself was when I left them and they dragged my name through the mud! They are great at twisting the truth to fit their narratives. Don’t get pulled in. Would you be willing to meet with me so we can talk?”

You growled at her tone and accusations as what they told you, her voicemails on their phone, and what she said about you on national television swirled around your head.

Opening your Instagram, you uploaded three images with different captions. The first was from the night of charity event that Stephanie took of you three before you left the apartment with you in-between them and their arms wrapped around your waist posing with their other hands pushed in their pocket. Your grin stood out as you laughed at their insistence to not smile in pictures so it looked “sexy yet intimidating” while showing you a demonstration. 

“My name is Y/N Y/L/N and as a lot of you may have noticed I am the woman that went with Eddie Munson and Steve Harrington to the event last month. I have known these men for a few months and have been in an intimate relationship with them for some time. For my privacy and because of the things being said online by Miss Frost, they tried to protect me by referring to me in the media as ‘just a friend’. I hope that notion alone goes into the column that they are not the lies that people have said about them. I love them both with every fiber of my being and I have never felt safer in my life then in these men’s company.”

The second image was a video of you and Steve sitting in your living room on the floor where you were trying to put one of your face masks on him while he kept making jokes to keep you laughing. 

“Why is it, cold?!”

“Because, you dork! It good for your skin now stop moving.”

When he playfully sticks out your tongue to lick your wrist as it grazes his lips, you can’t help but lean back on your knees as your tummy shakes with almost uncontrollable giggles. 

“Steven! Stoooop.”

“You want me to stop being adorable? I can’t do that, honey. That would be like asking me to stop breathing.”

“Steve Harrington is one of the kindest souls I have ever met even going overboard sometimes. I thoroughly believe that if he could move heaven and earth with his own two hands just to see me smile he would. He has never once asked me to change who I am but has himself adjusted his own personality to make me comfortable without me even asking. I love him as is but he can be stubborn when it comes to people he genuinely cares about. 

Your third video had Eddie straddling your waist while pinning your wrists to the floor. The power had gone out due to a storm so you three had been passing the time anyway you could think. While play wrestling, he got the upper hand and leaned down to kiss your lips. 

“Woooo! And Eddie Munson wins by a landslide!”

While he pretends to be praised by a nonexistent audience, you wrap your arms around his waist and push your chest against his bare one, flipping you both around till he was underneath you. 

“Oh no! And with the cruel hands of fate, Eddie Munson is no more.”

You giggle as he closes his eyes and pretends to pass out before you lean down to kiss him, making him grin as his fingers tangle in your hair. When you go to sit up, some of your locks get tangled in the metal of one us rings and his playful tone promptly changes to a concerned one. 

“Oh, hang on, princess, I got you here. There we go. Are you ok? I didn’t hurt you or anything? Good.”, he beams up at you when your shake your head and the video stop as he leans up to wrap his arms around you in a big bear hug. 

“Eddie Munson is so sweet and caring. He’s very protective and does whatever he can to make sure I know I’m safe whether that be by making me laugh or holding my hand till I feel comfortable. He’s never belittled me or physically hurt me in any manner unlike men from my past. I love this goofy rockstar and there is no place I feel safer or more at home than in his arms. 

Gina Frost believes that these men chose me because I’m nothing like her and I genuinely believe that is the only thing she’s said with any truth. I would never hurt them the way she did and continues to do even though they are no longer in her life. They deserved better than you and I will do whatever I can to make them happy because they do that for me every single day.”

As soon as you posted your response, a small wave of fear rumbled in your stomach as the likes began to quickly fill up your notifications until you noticed the only two handles that matter when it came to your words. 

 “@thereal_EddieMunson liked your post.”

“@thereal_EddieMunson added your post to his story: “My princess is a queen 🤘.”

“@StevenHarringtonOfficial liked your post.”

“@StevenHarringtonOfficial added your post to his story: “I would move the stars in the sky if she asked me to.”

A wide smile paints your face as you blush and hastily get dressed to skip downstairs. 

“Jesus, child. Took you long enough. Were you writing your memoirs up there?”, you father joked as you came around to hop on a stool at your kitchen counter next to Eddie who was picking at the appetizers your mom had made while dinner was being prepared. 

As you reach for a slice of garlic bread, the rockstar leans towards you to kiss your cheek before taking your other hand in his and placing it on his lap. 

Steve, who was helping by cutting up vegetables, met your eyes across the marble and smirked as he gave you an adorable little wink.

###############

@aol19 @paradisepoisons @paleidiot @dashingdeb16 @lilaclazer @joannamuns9n @thwippyparker @emotionaldreamer @aactuaaltraash @alastorssimp @mygirlchaos @starksbabie @imagine-all-the-imagines @hardladyheart

[mllemaenad]

Do you have any takes on the NCR? I'm relatively new to Fallout, but most of what I know about it is either from the tv show or from your Fallout 4 posting from a few years back, neither of which gives me much of a look at what the NCR was like when it was still around and not blown up. And you generally have good takes on video game factions.

Oh – thank you! I don't know if I'll be able to maintain that reputation, but we'll see. :)

I also don't know what you've started playing or intend to play, so I'll try to keep my spoilers at least a little vague so I don't spoil anything particularly cool for you.

My feelings about the NCR are complicated. You see, they look a lot like us. To be more specific, they look a lot like 20th century Americans. I'm not American and the 20th century was a while ago now – but there's still a lot that's familiar and comfortable. Like watching an older film: some of the slang is a bit weird, and the phones are wrong, but you could have a sensible conversation with these people, you know?

Because of the whole "alternate history" thing, the pre-war world can feel a bit distant. I think the TV series contains the longest stint we've ever had there, although I guess that depends a bit on how long a person takes to slog through Operation Anchorage. You mostly pick up bits of history from old holotapes and terminals. The stories are interesting: sometimes funny and sometimes tragic. But they are very much from another world. A world with a much stronger commitment to poodle skirts and Bing Crosby than we have.

But the NCR? If you play all the games, you live through their rise and fall. I have walked my clueless Vault Dweller into the tiny village of Shady Sands, and been very pleased to find some people who don't want to kill me. I've played the tourist in Fallout 2, walking through the actual modern capital city of the New California Republic – a standout area in a game largely full of shanty towns (there's Vault City but ... Vault City is not a fun place).

And there's genuinely a lot here to celebrate. They are the survivors of a Vault-Tec experiment specifically designed to test how a lot of diverse and contentious groups could live together. I'm not saying there's no bigotry in the NCR, because there is, but it's not built into their ideology the way it is in some other factions. There's a Super Mutant serving among the NCR Rangers in Fallout 2, and a ghoul town was among the republic's founding members. They explicitly state that they welcome mutant immigrants.

They're coaxing agriculture back into the wasteland even in the original Fallout, and they later expand into industry. They've got trade and education (there's apparently a university in the LA Boneyard, a thing I am sad that we never got to see), and they've outlawed slavery. In a lot of ways the rise of the NCR is a testament to human resilience in the face of incredible adversity.

But. Of course there's a but.

They are trying to rebuild on old world principles. There is a reason they look a lot like 20th century Americans. And they have not solved old world problems. As early as Fallout 2 there's evidence of the use of really dodgy expansionist tactics, and by New Vegas you're holding your breath as you watch them. Their army is simultaneously uncomfortably large and stretched too thin. Their economy is in trouble, and too much wealth is concentrating in too few hands. And they're pushy in a way you'd really prefer a democracy not to be. They have innocent blood on their hands.

They remain the good karma choice compared to Caesar's Legion, sure, but "crucifixion, rampant misogyny and mass slavery" are really low hurdles to get over. Their choices are ... troubling.

So there's a lot to critique, too, but in a way that mostly makes me sad. It makes you ask – is this inevitable? Is every society destined to deteriorate like this? Fallout's core thesis is "war never changes", so I think to some extent the answer is yes. At least – there's no perfect system or hopeful beginning that guarantees things won't go wrong. You have to watch all the time, or you end up back at the mushroom cloud.

If I have a critique of the TV series as it stands, it's that the destruction of the NCR by Vault-Tec in a fit of pique is an excellent way to mourn the good in the NCR (the sight of a hole where Shady Sands used to be hurts, just as worrying about the fate of characters I loved who lived in NCR territory hurts), but it does little to explore the problems of a democracy setting itself up as a newborn empire.

With that said, I expect that criticism is unfair as the series had a lot of legwork to do, explaining the world to any newcomers and ... I mean, there's a time and a place for delving into 23rd century politics and that probably isn't it.

I expect that they'll deal with this more in later seasons, particularly as we are headed toward New Vegas, heart of the "guys, are we sure this is a good idea?" NCR question.

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hello again! First I just want to say a big thank you to you and @virginiaisforvampires and @cbrownjc for answering my really long DM ask awhile ago! <3

I’m again going to presume that during the first four episodes Daniel will keep having flashbacks causing him to realise that there is more to the fallout of the 70’s interview than he might at first suspect. He will probably remember Armand’s ‘Gentleman Death’ speech, which might cause him to fear Armand. Resulting in the new character telling him he should fear ‘the other one’ (presumably Louis) instead.

I’m really curious about the, “You fear Armand. You should fear the other one”, does this character know of Armand’s concern and/or history with Daniel? Might one assume that the character knows about Louis attacking Daniel, and possibly is more acutely aware (than Daniel) of the destructive nature Louis actually carries fairly close to the surface (Paris fallout comes to mind). So the words could simply be a warning to Daniel, who possibly at this point is quite relaxed with Louis but nervous of Armand. If this new character is basically a ‘body-snatcher’ looking to gain access to an immortal vampiric body - are they playing the long-con by befriending Daniel to gain access? Could I be on to something here? I agree and remember that Louis and Daniel will team up during this season, so I’m assuming Louis won’t attack him again - but is there anything that Daniel should fear during this season? Is there a threat?

I saw the interview, talking about next season but I’m not as optimistic as some that the relationship/romance referred to was meant to be DM/Daniel’s and Armand’s. In context of the whole interview it sounds more like it’s talking about Louis’ and Armand’s relationship. If DM stuff is revealed or takes place in Dubai I’m pretty sure it’s a secret that they wouldn’t talk about in interviews. I mean - it’s a pretty great twist, and it makes so much sense to me that a lot of the writers apparently are stage writers. Love it! I really want to see DM take place and the memory-erased dynamic play out that the TV series has set up, but I am worried that I’m getting carried away and what we get might be much more minimal - and that fans will hype and then get disappointed.

The idea of Armand and Daniel bickering/fighting during the interviews for the season to then end up revealing to Daniel that *surprise* this guy who has been annoying you, has revealed himself to sure be romantic but also scary controlling and is someone you’ve rightly started to fear is the love of your life - is pretty darkly comic in the best of ways! I would freaking love it. What do you think? I’m pretty much all in for f*cked up relationship dynamics, since the characters are all fun and interesting. I’m very invested in Louis’ and Armand’s romance too, looking forward to it playing out and I like hearing that the show decided to be more romantic with it! Freaking love all the actors - and I’m so happy to watch a TV series which is actually creative and compelling!

Is there anything related to DM you would wish to see play out this season? Sorry for long ask again! Less questions this time at least haha (sorry!). Again, love visiting your blog and reading all the speculation! Thank you!

:) Hey!

Yes, the "you should fear the other one" IS incredible interesting.

I mean, there is this canon passivity to Louis, a passivity that is almost a chosen trait, because when he snaps... he snaps. (I still hope we will get the "passivity speech" in s2, I think it is such an important one, and Jacob would just rule).

But... trailers are meant to entice, to hint, but also to misdirect. Sam said in the q&a video that there would be other vampires in s2 as well. I... I am not 100% convinced that comment in the restaurant was wrt Louis.

That does not mean that Louis is not to be feared!! I just... this could be a red herring. Who knows, maybe it has to do with the twist.

(What if (speculating!!) Daniel then turns to whoever Justin Kirk is there and goes: "what other?" Why is that "other" vampire not named? Why does the Justin Kirk character know Armand at all? Why does he know about the vampires in that apartment??? (And yes, he could be already be so interested in it all because the idea for the body theft is forming!) Why does he know Daniel might be in danger from that other vampire? You know?^^)

So. It could be Louis' carefully hidden destructive tendencies. Maybe. (Which, btw, Armand used skillfully in Paris, I mean, he literally orchestrated it all for Louis to destroy the coven, a win-win situation for him, lol.)

But I'm not convinced that is what Daniel should fear. Would fear. If modern day Daniel fears anything, then I think that has to do with something he remembers. The cage comes to mind, for example. The hunt.

Rolin's latest comment re Dubai does come to mind... as much as I think that Louis and Armand do actively love each other (including physically and I really hope they enjoy(ed) themselves!), but... I cannot see Louis go and have "fun" in interview-time-Dubai. I mean, the interview is happening over a few days real-time. Can you see Louis, the Louis growing more and more upset, depressed and crying and wanting to remember feel like having sex? For example? I think we might see Loumand sex scenes in the past, but in Dubai??? I'm... not sure.

And so... that leaves us with Devil's Minion. I'm not sure how much of the past of it will be revealed, but... I think there's a higher chance for sexy times in Dubai for them than for Loumand. For setup reasons 🤷🏽‍♀️

I also think that the relationship dynamics will be as messed up as they can possibly make them. While I expect Loumand to be extremely tender (I believe Assad called it that), I do think that Jacob's comment that Louis's time at the "murder mansion" was "one of the happy times" for Louis and that statement of "same shit, different vampire" needs to be factored in as well. We're talking about Armand after all :) Given the show likes to put its fingers into wounds I believe that will be a creeping realization... a slow, uncomfortable feeling (in contrast to the more open problematic things Loustat displayed). There is a "controlled" aspect to Loumand, because it was orchestrated (in Paris).

Devil's Minion... DM is about obsession, and almost helpless love. There will be tenderness as well, but also very high, messy emotions. It's not planned, it's not exactly healthy either, it's not (yet) with a happy ending.

As per what I would like to see in it...

I'm not sure. I want them to go full-in, in whatever aspects they choose to give us this season. The cage I would love to see, also as an echo to Lestat being tortured, maybe.

This season is about painful, uncomfortable realizations and repercussions of previous actions.

That goes for them all - and so what I hope for is what we'll get I bet :)) (At least nothing of the trailers, interviews or BTS pix has given me reason to believe otherwise^^)

Hannah Moscovitch said this season would destroy us, and I believe her... and I want that, badly :)))

[pigtailedgirl]

The underside of Due South, some cool and some really ugly

#just listened to some of the haggis interview and was surprised by his take that tv characters shouldn't change but remain stagnant#and that was a point of contention between him and marciano who wanted ray to develop as a character#and once again i have to say thank goodness for dm. i am with him completely. characters should always be evolving. like...that's the point#but to haggis' point i guess this was in the early 90s before more serialized tv started to take off and become more prominent#it was still largely episodic where they hit the 'reset button' on characters from episode to episode#so dm was ahead of the curve. lol#it's strange to me because they built such a compelling arc for fraser in s1 especially. i guess it was just a happy accident??#anyway i look forward to checking more of this stuff out

The stuff I've watched and read makes Due South behind the scenes conflicting within me to share or talk about, to say the least. Due South is happy making and positive from a watch perspective I think versus it's actual production grind and wildness, and I'm big on wanting to stay positive and enjoy the show's show-ness not it's rather fractured reasoning or many authorial explanations right now. Too many peeps opinions or intents and ideas. I'm sticking with my own lol.

For the various creators though, I really like/d David Shore. He seems to have taken good writing from his time on the series.

And always love the music choices by Jay Semko & co. Series had great music decisions.

____

Paul Haggis and Kathy Slevin as creators: The fallout of both is just sad. Because I believe neither I think. Hollywood has awful, creative but awful, morals and peeps.

She had this really cool blog though that I think goes with a lot of beats they were exploring in the series.

Successful Screenwriting | by Kathy Slevin (wordpress.com)

And the rant one against bro which seems to have disappeared so... yay?

This is sad. Historical to share I think, but ow.

[moonwaterart]

I’m only on episode 3 of the fallout tv show, but so far none of the inconsistencies from the games that people have bitched about have made sense to be bitched about.

Spoilers obvi.

Why is Cooper/The Ghoul ‘impossible to kill’? Bro uses V.A.T.S. in combat to get his shots. Plus Lucy at this point in time uses a tranq gun and Maximus is a terrible shot. Cooper’s got 290+ years on them! He’s figured out the game!

The hand jets? Did y’all forget The Brotherhood of Steel ALSO invents shit? They don’t just hoard technology they believe is dangerous? Again. It’s been 290+ years since the bombs dropped. After trial and error, they most likely found a way to mod the T-60s to allow hand jets OR jet packs if wanted. Plus Knight Titus, the asshole he was was definitely the type of asshole to think he’s cool enough for hand jets.

Dogmeat being a girl? Get the fuck over yourselves. She’s a fucking dog. Also do you know why most trained stunt dogs are female? It’s because no one wants to look at dog dick in 4K if they’re hired! Plus something about female dogs being easier to train due to their temperaments.

‘But- but the Enclave was destroyed-‘ they were mostly destroyed! The remnants that survived what happened in Fallout 3 -get this- scattered. Some went to the Mojave which we found out in New Vegas which later found their way to the NCR which we jump to in the tv show, some were found in the Commonwealth thanks to DLC for Fallout 4. They weren’t where they were during the events of Fallout 3. Far from it! But because of Dr Wilzig, we got Dogmeat and she’s the goodest girl.

I get some people are newer to the fandom, but also a LOT complaints are coming from older fans who -not gonna lie- forget that Fallout as a series has some wacky shit going on. You have Mysterious eldritch human-like entities with godly weapons who can greatly damage and kill your enemies in one to two shots or bestow misfortune upon who they shoot or help you if you’re downed.

You’ve got a cult who worships atoms because they believe we’re all just different universes waiting to be renewed by a nuke going off. At the same time there’s a cult that worships the 4 horseman of the apocalypse and believe they called each of the 4 groups to bring each of the signs with them (war, famine, pestilence, death).

You get to meat a plethora of companions on the games from humans to animals, super mutants and ghouls to robots! Hell, in the first game you had a hyper intelligent deathclaw as a companion only because when the Enclave made them the group of deathclaws decided they didn’t want to kill humans and instead wanted to befriend and trade with them within the vault they were shoved into after the Enclave slaughtered basically the entire vault.

In Fallout New Vegas in the Big Mountain DLC you can fucking flirt with your own brain if you choose to do so (they will be appalled by your actions to do so).

Yes, the game is anti-war and about how governments are corrupt and War never changes, but there’s so much goofy ass shit in the games and lore that you need to allow yourself to have a bit of fun and use some game logic when dealing with the tv show or you’re just gonna be fucking bitter about everything you find inconsistent with the games. (Remember, they still have yet to tell us HOW exactly a ghoul is created and keep changing HOW they’re created. It’s never been consistent throughout the games)

[elderscrollsconceptart]

I'm not into Fallout, but I dread all tv adaptions of games. I only have to point at the travesty that is the Netflix Witcher as to why (don't get me started, I've got a long list of reasons and I WILL go through them all given the opportunity). That said I think Bethesda games are a better choice for adaption than the Witcher or TLOU because there isn't really a set protagonist or cast of characters to misuse - as long as it's entirely original, only based on Fallout lore, it might be okay.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I agree that a lack of a set protagonist is one of the boons to either a TES or Fallout TV series in terms of not immediately stepping on established series lore.

As you know, the Fallout show itself is making massive changes to established lore in the games. Not necessarily reconning things per se, but I don't want to get into more detail in a post due to obvious spoilers for a brand new show.

I feel a TES show *could* work simply due to the fact that

A. Tamriel is massive and Nirn is obviously an entire world.

B. We have multiple dimensions where things could take place in thanks to all the realms of Oblivion, known and unknown.

C. TES has a massive massive timeline that stretches beyond known history in their world. They could set a show in late Merethic era Elsweyr or High Rock and barely step on any established lore. A TES TV series absolutely *could* add to the lore while not quashing established lore or creating lore problems.

All in all, my biggest worry is the impulse for TV show runners to want to place the series in the most recognizable or familiar setting/timeline. God forbid a TES TV show happens and they try setting it in directly post-Oblivion crisis Cyrodiil or something like that. Thats not to say that such a period couldn't be explored in the lore, but I certainly don't trust TV executives and writers to start taking "creative liberties" or "fix" the lore of well established periods and locations. Additionally, a TV series could be made thats 100% non-canon and treated as such. I think most of the fandom would be totally cool with that and the show could tell any story it wanted without upsetting anyone. Sadly it seems like a lot of these big "TV adaptations we've seen over the past decade seem to insist on becoming canon or adjacent to it.

Never forget the Rings of Power...Never forget the Witcher on Netflix...Never forget Game of Thrones... Creators/rights holders allowed their properties to be taken by television companies to make shows out of them. They all ended up sucking, disrespecting the source material, and greatly upsetting most of their fans in the process. Television shows based on adapted material should not be made by people who don't care about the property itself and just want to make a popular TV show.

I think a TES TV show of *some* kind (perhaps animated?) is almost inevitable if the Fallout show is good and a huge success, and I think it absolutely *could* be both quality television *and* respectful of established lore. I just don't personally trust television executives to make a show of that caliber *and* respect the source material.

[serickswrites]

6 and 12 from the questions for fellow whump enjoyers ask game

Hello friend! Great questions! Questions from this game

6. Have you ever shared your whumpy interests with anyone outside of Tumblr/AO3? What made it feel safe to talk about?

I sort of have and haven't. I say sort of because I have shared some writing with friends (including giant WIP) and those do have whumpy components to them. One of my friends was super like wow this is amazing. Another one of my friend was like oh, this is not my cup of tea, but I enjoy that you enjoy it.

I did also share with my therapist once (it sort of slipped out in the context of our conversation) and she was very supportive about it.

So the long winded way to answer this question, when the long and the short of it is: I shared with 3 people who I knew wouldn't judge me (one because that's her job, and the other two because they are my best friends).

12. What are your favorite whumpy books, movies, shows, comics, or video games?

So many lol. I really enjoy the Executioner series by Laurel K Hamilton--the early books were pretty darn whumpy. ACOTAR and the maasverse has whumpy components (not enough lol) and same with FW (though more whumpy than ACOTAR I think). Movies--well I already talked about the Princess Bride, so I'm going to say that for movies it's more about the quality of the whump because a lot of movies have whumpy elements. As long as it is satisfying, I'm game lol. As for TV shows, obviously Supernatural will always hold a high whump element for me, but Prodigal Son had some tasty whump as well. And you know what other show was whumpy and really well done? Jack Ryan. It was A+ especially the interrogation scenes. I don't really read comics other than I read the Walking Dead which was really whumpy. And Resident Evil is the whumpiest video game I have ever played (I guess Fallout as well, but I didn't like it very much).

Thanks for playing!

[electricshoebox]

get to know you meme

Tagged by @serenity-fails, thank you 💜

three ships - dorian/iron bull (dragon age) is the ship of dreams, all of my favorite things in one, the ship that pushed me to try new things in writing and brought some of my dearest friends into my life - deacon/maccready (fallout) is the ship that hit me so hard I had to write two novels about it. it has antagonism, it has unexpected common ground, it has tension and teasing and so much potential left wide open to play with. - hawke/fenris (dragon age) is the ship that got me seriously writing. it's one of the most compelling, carefully crafted, and honest romances in the series. the struggle, the pining, the patience and care and badass battle couple-ness of it all... I've never successfully played another romance in DA2, fenris is it for me

first ship - i guess sailor moon/tuxedo mask? it's the first ship that made me seek out fan work.

last song - "starburned and unkissed" by caroline polachek from the i saw the tv glow soundtrack

last movie - in theaters, trap. i'm not usually a big shyamalan fan but it was entertaining, best use of instagram live in a thriller for sure. - at home, wicked little letters. a lot of fun, a small town england drama set just after world war ii about mysterious swear-laden letters getting sent around town. olivia coleman is a treasure in everything she does.

currently reading - honestly just re-reading all my favorite dorian/iron bull fanfic classics as I replay dragon age: inquisition

currently watching - i'm visiting family right now and they have a channel that shows nothing but old unsolved mysteries episodes and it's so comfortingly nostalgic I just keep it on any time I'm in the room I'm staying in

tagging: @bardic-inspo, @galaxy-starheart, @amanita-jack, @mercurymiscellany (just if you'd like to!)

[ladamedusoif]

Visiting - Chapter 5: This Must Be The Place

(Moodboard by the wonderful @cutesyscreenname)

Pairing: Professor!Ben (College AU) x OFC Lydia/fem!Reader (reader POV/2nd POV)

Summary: Seeking a change of scenery after her life falls apart, Lydia crosses the Atlantic and arrives in a small New England town, to spend a year expanding her intellectual horizons as a visiting professor of art history at a small liberal arts college. Her growing friendship with Ben Morales, professor of Hispanic literature, forces Lydia to confront the fallout from her past - and raises unexpected questions about the future.

Chapter summary: Lydia turns 42, parties with her colleagues - and now she knows for sure.

Word Count: 4.9k

Rating: Mature, will be Explicit in future chapters

Content (chapter specific): Professor Ben College AU; smaller-than-usual-for-this-fandom age gap (Lydia turns 42, and Ben is 47); canon is not a thing here; slow burn; strong language; alcohol consumption; weight and body insecurity; self-confidence issues; a little bit of angst; a lot of yearn.

A/N: Title of the chapter is taken from 'This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody)' by Talking Heads, which features in the chapter. Further A/Ns after the chapter to avoid spoilers.

See the Series Masterlist for an outline of Lydia's story and background.

Thanks, as ever, to @lunapascal and @julesonrecord for screaming along about these Beloved Dorky Idiots and approving important fashion and music choices.

Taglist: @lunapascal, @julesonrecord, @cutesyscreenname, @tessa-quayle, @vermillionwinter, @iamskyereads, @tieronecrush, @perennialdoll247, @love-the-abyss, @imaswellkid, @intheorangebedroom, @javierisms, @fuckyeahdindjarin, @littlemisspascal, @khindahra, @pedrostories, @readingiskeepingmegoing

You knew for sure on your 42nd birthday. 

It wasn’t anything dramatic that confirmed it. No great thunderclap or parting of the clouds to bathe him in a divine light. No diving in front of an errant student frisbee to protect you as you gazed up at him in adoration. 

Then again, you were old enough to know that such dramatic realisations only existed in the movies, on TV, in books. The truth was that, though you felt (and sometimes acted on) immediate physical attraction, it was more usually a case of a small, glowing ember finding kindling in order to become a steady flame. 

He was in your office for one of your routine afternoon coffees, and feeling a bit stressed and disheartened over a particularly poor batch of student assignments. He reached over for another butter cookie. 

“It might be that mid-semester slump, but no matter how long I do this job I always feel like this is my fault.” He sighs. “Like I didn’t do enough with the preparation, or with tutorials, or that I made the assessment too difficult. You know what I mean?”

His soft, dark eyes look at you, seeking acknowledgment that he wasn’t alone - and a kind of reassurance. 

“You have to know it’s not your fault, Ben. I know how many tutorials you did with them - and, if you’ll recall, how you were worried about the lack of uptake for the one-to-one sessions. That’s not on you.”

“I just wish I could shake the feeling that I could have done more.” He shakes his head and takes another bite of his cookie. 

“I do know how you feel, you know? I do this too - it’s automatically my fault, no one else’s, I need to fix this, etc.” You smile at him. “In your case I think it’s because you’re a very good and conscientious tutor. And a good person.”

You feel your face heat a little, noticing that the tips of Ben’s ears have turned pink. He breaks away from your gaze for a moment. 

“Thank you, Lyd. So are you.”

There’s a little crackle in the air. You speak before it becomes too strong. 

“Anyway, this’ll cheer you up. Today, a student came into my office and just looked at me and said, ‘Alan??’”

His eyes widen and he starts to giggle. “Alan?!”

“ALAN.” You recount the rest of the story, recreating your confused facial expressions and the student’s mounting annoyance that you are not, in fact, Alan.

“So then I said: what’s Alan’s surname, I could look like them up? And the student says: I dunno?”

At this, Ben laughs so hard that he sends his glasses flying off his face, landing somewhere at the bottom of your desk. He doesn’t seem to notice at first, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. 

“Fuck, Lyddie, I definitely didn’t laugh this much at work before.”

You do a little bow from your desk chair and sip your coffee triumphantly. “Said it would cheer you up. Uh - since when did the staff lounge coffee taste this good?”

He sits back down, having recovered his glasses from the floor. His expression is a little hesitant. 

“Well, the thing is - it’s not staff lounge coffee. I - god, I’m a cliche - I bought an Aeropress. And this is the first batch I’ve made in work, and I thought…” He looks at you and half-smiles, a little twinkle in his eyes. “I thought you shouldn’t have shitty staff lounge coffee on your birthday.”

Oh, wow. This soft, kind man. 

“That’s such a nice thing to do. And - how did you know it was my birthday?”

Ben’s eyes widen and his expression shifts to one of panic. “Ohhhh, shit.”

“You better not tell me you track our birthdays.”

He huffs a laugh. “Do you think I’m organised enough for that?? No, it’s - shit. I shouldn’t have said anything. Don’t tell Evan.”

“Tell Evan what, exactly?”

“He’s planning to bring you out for birthday drinks at the weekend. Nothing fancy!” He holds up a hand, as if to reassure you. “Just some drinks at Murphy’s, maybe some dancing? You know their jukebox is pretty good.”

You widen your eyes and nod in agreement. “They’ve got the tunes, alright.” 

He grins. “Well, that’s the plan. But I think Evan wants to surprise you with the invite. So… maybe work on that, reaction-wise?”

You do your best “surprised and touched” face. Ben chuckles. 

“Perfect.”

He’s got a class to get to, so he says his goodbyes and heads off down the hallway, greeting a group of students with a little wave.

The glass panel in your office door frames his broad body as he walks away, an empty coffee mug in each hand. You watch the way his navy pullover fits just so over his shoulders, the way his rolled-up sleeves make visible the muscles of his forearms, flexing as he carries the mugs. You smile involuntarily when he reaches his office door and turns to open it: if you were being honest with yourself, you’d been quietly admiring that handsome profile for a while now, ever since you really noticed it for the first time that day at the beach.

It would be easy to insist to yourself that Ben Morales was simply a good friend who happened to be nice to look at, and nothing more. 

The problem, though, was the way you were suffused with warmth and affection when you looked at him - and the yearning ache in your chest that occurred simultaneously. 

So now, you knew. 42 years old, far from home, and trying to deal with having the kind of feelings for someone you swore you’d never have again.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Now let us in, we’re jonesing for some champagne.”

Evan is first through your apartment door, brandishing a bottle of Veuve Clicquot and wearing a leather jacket over a wildly patterned shirt. David and Ani follow close behind, both embracing you in turn.

“Cass was hoping to get up this weekend but she’s stuck in work,” Ani explains, looking around your apartment. “Where’s Ben?”

You feel the familiar twinge in your chest. “Virtual conference,” you explain as you head into the kitchen to retrieve some glasses. “Said he’ll meet us at Murphy’s once he’s done.”

Evan opens the champagne with a dramatic flourish, taking off his leather jacket as he pours the fizz into the crappy wine glasses that came with the apartment. He eyes them up with disdain. “Feels wrong to put Veuve Clicquot in these.”

You raise an eyebrow accusingly. “I have vintage champagne coupes at home. In any case - I won’t take advice from a man wearing that shirt.” 

“This is an exact replica of the shirt Leo wore in Romeo + Juliet and you will respect that,” Evan whips back as he hands you a glass of champagne. “Happy birthday love youuuuuu!”

David and Ani join in the toast. “To Lyd, queen of obscure film facts, tote bags, and the messiest office I’ve ever seen,” Ani pronounces. “Happy forty-fucking-second birthday.”

You roll your eyes and grimace. “And I’m looking every single one of those years. Cheers.” 

David shakes his head while Ani tells you off. “You shut the fuck up, you beautiful baby-faced creature.”

You take a sip, and close your eyes as the bubbles of the champagne burst deliciously on your tongue. 

Murphy’s is a pretty standard small-town dive bar with a distinctly above-average jukebox and playlist. It’s the preferred drinking hole for staff, mostly because the majority of the student body have deemed its usual crowd “too old”. Evan has extended a pretty open invitation, by the looks of things - most of the clientele that Saturday night are colleagues from the faculty. Some wave cheerfully in your direction, mouthing “Happy birthday!”; others come over to say hi and offer to buy you a birthday drink. It’s a nice reminder of the warmth of the welcome you’ve had here.

You are having a nice time: sipping your vodka tonic, bopping gently to the eclectic mix of everything from classic 50s rock and roll to indie and grunge hits from the 1990s that’s playing on the bar’s sound system, chatting to colleagues. It’s nice. But you keep watching the door, waiting for him, wondering at times if he’ll show at all. 

He doesn’t owe you anything. Conferences are tiring. Maybe he needed an early night. 

Maybe you miss him when he’s not around. 

You’re talking animatedly to Jen’s wife, Rachel (who is as stunning as Ani had insisted), when you feel a gentle tap on your shoulder.

“I’m so sorry I’m late! Panels ran over and then I couldn’t get a cab and then I took my bike and - anyway. Here now. Happy birthday, Lyddie.”

Ben pulls you in for a warm embrace. You fight to suppress the urge to really lean in: to hold your cheek a little longer against the softness of the check flannel he’s wearing, to linger in the comforting warmth emanating from his solid frame. 

But you pull away. “No worries! I’m just really glad you’re here.”

Bit much?

He tilts his head slightly to the side and smiles at you. “Wouldn’t have missed it for anything. Not when I’ve got the chance to see your moves out there.” He nods in the direction of the ‘dancefloor’, a small, cleared space located near the back of the bar, before turning back and winking at you.

Fuck.

“Dude, it’s been a long time. I suspect I don’t have any moves any more.”

He looks sceptical. “Hmm. Let’s see about that. But first - let me buy you a birthday drink.”

You stare in the bathroom mirror at your reflection as you tidy your hair a little and reapply your favourite lipstick, the vivid red of MAC’s Lady Danger popping against your skin. 

Forty-fucking-two. It’s probably the vodka and tonics, or maybe just the buzz of the bar and your colleagues and friends having a good time, but - for once in your life - you find yourself thinking you might look…not bad? You’re wearing a soft blue denim blouse and black jeans, teamed with a pair of bright red cowboy-style ankle boots that exactly match your lipstick. Red drop earrings and a bright necklace complete the look. 

As long as you didn’t concentrate on the greying strands of hair, or the perpetually tired look on your face, of course. And you couldn’t see all of your body in the small mirror - a bonus. 

But that was for Tomorrow Lydia to deal with. For now, you were enjoying yourself. 

As you blot your lipstick, you hear the opening chords of an upbeat, familiar slice of power pop:

I want you to want me

I need you to need me

“Fucking Cheap Trick! YES!”

You fling open the door to the bathroom, already bopping slightly in time to the music. Nothing could have prepared you for the sight that greets you on the tiny ‘dancefloor’.

It’s Ben. 

Ben, dancing, with Susan, the usually no-nonsense faculty administrator. 

And not just the half-hearted shuffling or pogoing you’ve usually witnessed from men of your generation, either. He’s pretty good: moving with Susan in a sort of loose jive, perfectly in time, occasionally twirling her under as she giggles like a teenager rather than a woman in her late fifties. And he’s clearly having a whale of a time, too, his unmistakable grin wide and enthusiastic as he mouths along to the song. 

It’s all you can do not to let your mouth drop open in astonishment as you hustle over to the bar to join Evan, David, and Ani.

“Um…what the fuck is happening??” You ask, tilting your head towards the dancefloor.

Evan chuckles. “Oh, that. Yeah, Ben has some moves, believe it or not.”

Ani nods in agreement. “Susan’s husband is a sweet man but he fuckin’ hates dancing. So he fully endorses the idea of our Benjamin Button over there getting Susan’s dance fever out of her system, so he never has to bother.”

Evan leans his head to one side, thinking for a moment. “Normally we only see this kind of dancing at the holiday social at the end of the semester, and even then after a wine or two - and he’s not drinking at all tonight. So something’s put him in a really good mood.”

“He’s not drinking?” you ask, curious in spite of yourself.

“He said something about ‘being in charge of a vehicle’,” David explains. “His bike, I think.” 

Ani sips their drink. “You’re right, though, Ev. He’s always been a happy sort of guy but of late? He’s sunshine personified. He’s even less stressed when the copier eats his handouts.” They suck at the inside of their cheek. “I don’t know what’s changed.”

You become conscious of a petite blonde woman standing on the fringes of the group but who’s clearly been listening attentively to the conversation. It’s not that you don’t like Amy, Susan’s second-in-command in the faculty administration office. She’s just…a lot. And her penchant for gossip, however wildly inaccurate, was notorious.

She turns to face the rest of you, a look in her eyes that screams “gossip incoming”. 

“Ooooh, guys… what if he’s finally met someone?? Makes sense, right??”

David’s eyebrows shoot up over the frames of his glasses and he takes a large sip of his whiskey soda.

Ani scoffs. “Bit of a fucking leap, Amy, no? All the time we’ve been here and never known there to be the slightest suggestion of him seeing anyone seriously - he’s like the ‘married to the job’ cliche. And now you think that’s why he’s so happy lately? Some mystery new person?”

Amy looks put out. “Think about that statement, Ani. It’s been ages, there’s no other obvious explanation, therefore I call Benny’s getting coupled up!!!!!” She sucks at her rum and coke gleefully, eyes wide and excited. “Oh my GOD I wonder who it is? Do you think it’s someone on campus? I mean, where else do you guys meet anyone, hahaha! And he’s so hard-working and committed. Maybe I can ask Susan and find out if she’s seen him hanging out with anyone in particular. Or maybe if he’s been out of town more, y’know? Oooh, exciting! I love a good romance!”

She swans off in the direction of her table as the song winds to a close. 

Fuck. Too late, as usual, Lyd. As if you ever stood a chance to begin with. 

You notice David trying to catch your eye, but you turn to the bar and signal to the bartender. “Hey, who wants tequila shots?”

You down a shot with Evan and Ani, eyes scrunching up as you suck the lime wedge and try to halt your crazy train of thought. It’s a familiar melody of guitar, bass, and keyboard that eventually distracts you, though, as the opening bars of “This Must Be The Place” by Talking Heads float from the bar’s sound system.

You gleefully tap Evan on the arm and start to shimmy in place, still facing the bar. “Fuuuuuck, man! I love this song! C’mon, let’s go dance.”

Evan’s gaze is trained on the dancefloor. “Much as I’d like to, babygirl, I think your dance card has already been filled for this one.” He nods and points behind you.

All you can do is laugh. Ben, having clearly noticed your excited reaction to the song, is moving towards you, hips swaying in time to the music, and making a cheesy “reeling you in” gesture with the dorkiest of smiles on his face. 

“Time to see those moves, birthday girl!”

Evan gives you a shove, sending you almost colliding with Ben’s broad chest. You force the awkward thoughts and feelings down deep inside you.

“Well, seeing as I’ve just learned that you have moves, sir, I guess I should see them up close.”

He grins and pulls you to the floor proper.

Even with the help of the cheap tequila, you are a little stiff for the first few moments, exposed and unsure of yourself as you try to keep moving in time to the rhythm without giving away everything that was racing through your mind. 

Ben’s dark eyes are warm and bright as he mouths along to the lyrics and takes your hand, gently encouraging you to let go and relax a little more:

Feet on the ground, head in the sky

It’s okay, I know nothing’s wrong

You feel your body locking into the rhythm with his. A genuine smile creeps over your face as the song enters the first chorus and you both join in with David Byrne’s vocal. He takes both your hands during the next instrumental, pulling you in a little more. 

You lean in close to his ear, keeping up the rhythm but not letting go of his big, warm hands. “I love this song so much, but I’ve never actually got to dance to it before - this is so cool!”

He smiles softly and leans close in turn. “Well, now I’m really glad I got to make that happen.” He lets go of one hand and puts his arm around your waist, bringing you into a more traditional dance hold. “Happy birthday, Lyddie.”

Deep down, there’s a tiny voice inside you that wonders whether he’d do this - dance with you, like this - if he was actually dating anyone else. But then you remember how open he can be with friends, and you tell yourself it’s just one friend dancing with another. 

He twirls you in and out as the song enters the final chorus. For a moment, you let yourself slip into an unspoken, unrequited romantic fantasy as you sing along together, smiling and eyes shining:

And you love me til my heart stops

Love me til I’m dead

In that moment, where you allow yourself to imagine this as real, as something that could be, you feel happier than you have in years.

Closing time rolls around. Ani and Evan are tapping on their phones to arrange cabs, and you’re pulling your coat on and chatting to David when Ben approaches, bike helmet in one hand and a little kraft paper gift bag in the other. 

“Lyddie, can I -”

“BENJAMIN!” He’s interrupted by the arrival of Amy, three sheets to the wind, and clearly hellbent on proving her theory right. “I need to talk to YOU about your secret.”

Ben’s eyes widen as he stutters in response. You make an executive decision. Dumb and all as this might be, you are not going to hang around to hear him say the words, to confirm that he’s taken.

“Oh man, really need to go to the bathroom before I go okay yeah see you in a few?”

You lock yourself in a cubicle and try really hard not to cry.

“Amy, I was in the middle of talking to Lydia and -”

Amy rolls her eyes dramatically. “Pfffft. This is more important. Now: who are they?”

David closes his eyes, pinches the bridge of his nose, and exhales. Ben looks completely confused.

“Who’s who, Amy?” His eyes continue to search the back of the bar, trying to spot you when you’ll eventually emerge from the bathroom.

“Don’t play coy with me, Professor Morales. You’re like a new man lately. So - who’s responsible? Who’s the lucky person?”

The penny finally drops. “Amy, do you… are you asking me… do you think I’m seeing someone?”

Amy jabs a finger at his chest triumphantly. “Aha!”

“I’m not… seeing anyone. Okay?” He tries to break away from Amy and nabs Ani as they’re walking past. “Where the fuck is Lyd, Ani?”

“Jeez, calm down, dude. What the fuck? Give her a Benjaminute. She’s in the bathroom.”

Amy reappears at Ben’s side. “I don’t believe you.”

He’s a patient man, usually. But this shit, coupled with the way you disappeared all of a sudden? He’s done.

“Amy - so help me god, I’m not with anyone or fucking seeing anyone. Okay? I’ll send a newsletter update if it ever happens. Now, please - where the hell did she go?”

He finally gets you alone - kind of - outside the bar, while you’re waiting for cabs to show up. 

Your imagination ran riot while you were on your own in the bathroom stall. But you’d concluded that this was for the best, one way or another. Better that he wasn’t available. Better that he wasn’t interested. Better that you just resisted what you felt. Better that you were just here for the year.

Everything you ever touched, relationship-wise, turned to shit. You couldn’t do that to Ben - even if a man like him would ever want a woman like you.

“Lyd?” He’s quiet, eyes searching yours for an explanation as to why you fled when he approached earlier. 

You smile up at him, hoping the redness around your eyes doesn’t show too much. “Hey. Sorry about earlier, I just - didn’t want to get stuck on the way home.” You pull a goofy face to try to lighten the mood, and he smiles gently, but can’t help but shake the feeling you’re being a little stand-offish with him. 

“Just wanted to give you this.” He hands you the little gift bag. “Don’t get excited, it’s a really small gift! But I saw it and thought of you.”

In a rom-com, he’d meet your gaze, trail a thumb across your cheek, and lean in for a soft, chaste kiss. Or you’d catch his hand, look up at him through your lashes, and press your lips to his.

On a cold November night in New England, though, it’s just you smiling and thanking him profusely while trying not to cry. Or to kiss him in front of everyone. 

“You okay, Lyddie?” 

You nod. “I probably shouldn’t have done the tequila shots earlier. Just a bit woozy and tired now, I guess.” You look down at the pavement, and back up to his handsome face. “Thank you so much. This means a lot.”

He leans forward and for a split second you dare to hope. To no avail. A tiny, soft kiss to the cheek. 

“Happy birthday.”

Ben cycles off, bike lights bright in the darkness, and you hop in a cab with Evan and David. Evan sits up front, while David sits in the back with you. He sees the way that you hold the little gift bag in your lap, and notices the pervasive sadness in your body language and expression.

“Hey, Evan?” he prompts his boyfriend. “Who was that crazy blonde lady that kept harassing Ben about his personal life?”

You can almost hear Evan rolling his eyes. “Fucking Amy. She’s fine, most of the time, but once she’s convinced of something - hoo, boy. Dog with a bone.”

David turns to you, a somewhat knowing look on his face. “When you were in the bathroom she accosted Ben about her conviction that he’s got some sort of secret partner and that’s why he's been so cheery lately.”

You fight to keep your expression neutral. Does he suspect something?

“Oh, okay. I heard her theorising it earlier on.”

Evan continues ranting. “He TOLD her, he wasn’t with anyone? Like, if he was seeing anyone or interested in anyone I would know. I would be able to tell.”

David reaffirms the key detail. “So he did say he wasn’t seeing anyone?”

Evan scoffs. “Babe, you were there. He said he wasn’t and then he got pissed off because he couldn’t find Lyd.”

David turns to you with a little smile on his face, and shrugs gently, as if to say: “See?”

You wipe off your makeup in the harsh light of your tiny bathroom, the fluorescent glare seeming designed to highlight every grey hair, every wrinkle, every trace of ageing. The confident woman in her bright red lipstick has been replaced by someone else entirely.

You put on a fresh pair of pyjamas, and climb into bed. In many ways, it had been a really great night. It’s just that you had to go catching feelings for him, and now everything was being filtered through that lens. 

David had been trying to make it clear to you that Amy’s fantasy was bullshit, that much was obvious. But if Ben wasn’t seeing anyone, and if he was so keen to dance with you and laugh at your jokes and give you gifts, then why didn’t he try even the slightest thing with you? There was only one conclusion: he wasn’t interested. 

It’s better this way.

The little brown gift bag catches your eye, sitting patiently on the nightstand for you to finally open it. You take a deep breath and reach over for it.

The bag contains two packages and a card, addressed to “Lyddie” in Ben’s distinctive handwriting. Card first.

“Fuck me, you’re such a dork.”

The card features a Venn diagram of three intersecting circles, one marked ‘Life’, the other ‘Universe’, and the third ‘Everything’. Little drawings of a potted plant, a whale, and the planets surround the number ‘42’ at the centre of the diagram. 

You giggle in spite of yourself. You could have bet that Ben Morales would give you a Hitchhiker’s Guide To the Galaxy-themed card for being 42. 

To Lyddie

Wishing you a very happy birthday - now, you are the answer to the Ultimate Question.

B

PS Explanatory post-its on gifts

“Explanatory post-its? Such a dork,” you whisper to yourself as you reach for the little packages. 

The first parcel’s note reads: 

I saw that you had a few of these in your office. Thought you might like a memento from here. Can also provide useful symbolic film prop. Rosebud!

You open the wrapping paper carefully to reveal a small cardboard box. Inside, there’s a miniature snow globe in lurid colours, a kitschy souvenir of the fading resort town near the Barrow College beach house on the coast. 

You turn it upside down, gently, and watch the light catching the glitter as it settles slowly over the old boardwalk and ferris wheel inside.

The second package is, unmistakably, a DVD. This time, the note reads: 

If you get inspired and make a timpano sometime, I’ll be there. 

It’s a copy of Big Night.

Ben Morales cycles up to his garage door and wheels his bike inside, carefully removing the front and rear lights (two each - he knows one isn’t enough at this time of year) and placing them on a shelf along with his bike helmet and reflective armbands.

The garage is separate to his house, which he bought a year or two after he got the job in Barrow. His siblings were surprised at the time, expecting him to just buy a decently-sized apartment rather than an entire house, but once he’d seen it he couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. 

He’s lived alone for a very long time, so he’s used to returning to an empty home. It feels emptier than usual tonight, though: the quiet weighs heavier, and the fact that he’s on his own seems more obvious. Must be after the bar, he guesses. All that noise and music and conversation. Of course the house would seem lonely after that.

He thinks about putting on a movie, but - unusually for him - he can’t think of anything he’d like to watch. He pours himself a small glass of whiskey, sipping from it as he scans his shelves of records until he finds the one he’s looking for. He slips the vinyl from the cover and places it on the turntable, propping up the record’s brightly-coloured slipcase against the wall. 

He’s about to drop the needle on the final track on side 2 when his phone buzzes on the dining table. It’s a message from Ani, sent to a group chat you’d set up for your closest work friends, and they’ve attached some photos from tonight.

Ben starts the record going and gently drops the needle in the right place. As the familiar melody plays from his speakers, he settles himself and his glass of whiskey in a chair and opens up the pictures. 

You, sipping champagne at home while making a face at Evan’s lurid shirt. David and Ani sticking their fingers up to the camera, evidently caught unawares by Evan. Evan reenacting various poses from Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo + Juliet (Ben knew the shirt seemed familiar). Ani and you dancing, back to back, arms flung in the air and joy written all over your faces.

One of you, big eyes shining and red lipstick immaculate, wearing a hairband that proclaims “IT IS MY BIRTHDAY” and holding a cupcake with a single candle in it. He can tell you’re trying not to laugh. He wonders if it would be weird of him to save it.

Him, “reeling you in” for a dance. “Fuuuuuck,” he grimaces, sipping more whiskey as he cringes at himself. And then you and him, dancing, first at a slight distance, then hand in hand, then -

The music triggers the memory of his hand in yours, an arm around you, and the smile on your face. 

I can’t tell one from the other

Did I find you, or you find me?

Maybe he should say something to you.

Another message. You, this time. A photo of what he presumes is your nightstand, with the snow globe, Big Night DVD, and card on display.

LYDIA: I LOVE them so much. I don’t know how you remembered the movie and the snow globe is perfect. I promise not to drop it unless for dramatic and cinematic purposes as determined by Orson Welles. 

Another message.

LYDIA: Really, such thoughtful gifts. I’m so touched. L. 

The song ends. Ben takes a last sip of his whiskey. 

Maybe he should just tell you.

(bookshelf divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more; other dividers by @cafekitsune)

Further A/Ns: For those unfamiliar with Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, 42 is the answer to the "ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything."

This is the card Ben gets for Lydia.

[crackinglamb]

Self Fic Rec, Fave Edition

Tagged by @pikapeppa to rec five of my favorite fics that I've written. Thank you! 🥰

Rules are to pass the self promotion on to five others, so tagging @ir0n-angel, @fasterpuddytat, @lilbittymonster, @maculategiraffe and @bogunicorn. No pressure!

In no particular order:

Hope Is a Fragile Thing - Dragon Age, Solas/OFC, rated T, ~13K words. A post-canon romance between a Fen'Harel who succeeded in taking the Veil down and an MGIT. It's softer and gentler than you think, as well as sadder. I love this one because it's just so...atmospheric. It's 'the love was there; it didn't change anything but it was there' taken to one of its possible conclusions.

Unexpected - Fallout 4, Kellogg/F!SoSu, rated E, ~30K words. My first truly canon divergent fic. A Sole Survivor who was a Chinese PoW meets a battered merc and together they both get redeemed. Still really proud of this one for a lot of reasons, and it's one of my FO fics that I've reread more than once.

With You - DA:I, Varric/F!Hawke, rated E, ~4800 words. Hawke and Varric finally get together. Finally. I love this one simply because I have a deep, abiding adoration for this pairing (as it was the first one I wrote for DA), and of all the Hawke's I've created for various fics, Elly is my favorite.

Into the Current - DA, Iron Bull/OFC, rated E, ~80K words. I love MGIT's. There is simply so much room to play. This one is a paramedic transported to Thedas before the events of the games and becomes a Charger, falling for Bull along the way. Takes place between 9: 28 - 9:40 Dragon.

Different Animals - Fallout TV, Lucy/Cooper Howard, rated E, ~9500 words. A long oneshot about Lucy becoming more than just a Vaultie and Cooper remembering that he used to be a halfway decent human being. (It's now turned into a whole series of these, and I'm still writing them currently.)

Honorable Mentions:

Junkyard Dogs - Fallout 4, Hancock/F!SoSu, rated E, ~107K words. My very first fic. Mostly a retelling of the game, with a happy ending and a whole series of related stuff. Without this fic, there would be no crackinglamb.

What a Wicked Game to Play - DA:I, Solas/OFC, rated E, ~412K words. My grand epic. No list of my own fics would be complete without mentioning it. I set out to write a huge, all encompassing story of an MGIT changing Solas's mind, and I did. It was over two years of blood, sweat and tears and while I exhausted myself writing it, Imogen will forever hold a special place in my heart.

*On a final note, these are all complete.*

[nitrozem]

For some reason, I just never really like watching many movies or tv shows anymore. I like the Fallout series but it takes a lot of energy to watch and I loose focus all the time (thanks adhd) I loved watching tv and movies back in the day and I will rewatch my favorite movies in the background while doing other stuff.

also I just kind of prefer working on my own stories, not even planning to publish/sell anything, just doing it for fun. I would like to make my own lore books for each story too, but I’m always changing things lmao

[gabeewrites]

Welcome to my fanfic blog!~

Hi! I'm Ga🐝, and I'll be posting my fanfics here, and over on AO3. A little bit about me:

I'm a first-year animation student

I'm from Brisbane, Australia

ADHD hyperfixations control my life

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gooperspo

What fandoms am I writing for?

(like what fandoms do I have fics planned for)

Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss

Five Nights at Freddy's (games, books, & movie)

Rick & Morty

Inside Job

Fallout (TV Series)

What fandoms will I write for on request?

DC Comics

Good Omens

Disventure Camp

TF2

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Gravity Falls

Scream 1996

Hannibal (Coming soon, after I finish the show lol)

What am I going to be writing?

(Or what am I OK with writing on request?)

Smut! I'll be writing lots of smut hehehe

Angst

Slow Burn

Fluff

Oneshots & extended fics

My fics will typically be x reader with a gender-neutral afab protagonist, but I'm totally open to writing any other gender/sex protagonist.

A lot of my fics are probably going to be very thinly veiled self-insert x reader fics, so take that as you will lmao. This doesn't mean I'm not open to writing more pairings or different x readers, though.

What/who is NEVER going to be on here?

MDNI!!!! no minors please

Anything non-con, the most I'd write is dub-con, but protag will always be OK with what is happening.

Pretty open to writing kinks, but I always reserve the right to say no if I'm not comfortable writing a certain kink.

No intolerance ever at all under any circumstances, this covers anything like homophobia, transphobia, racism, sexism, or anything of the like.

OK, well thanks for reading this far and look forward to my first fanfic that I've ever posted! yay!

-- Ga🐝 with love

[harborpointeblvd]

This is BL challenge for you (if you choose to accept them).

1.a) Please write your top 3 or top 5 favorite tropes in BL.

b) From each trope, write at least 3 BL that you love.

(Feel free if you want to write the reasons or not of why you love them).

2. a) What is the first BL that make you want to know more about and eventually love BL?

b) What is that one BL that have a special place in your heart (for whatever reason)?

3.) Who are your top 5 (or top 3) seme & uke from your favorite BL media (both can be from the same BL or different from each other )?

The BL can be in in the form of manga, manhwa, manhua, danmei, books, tv series or movies.

Thanks so much if you want to answer this long ask.

Challenge accepted!

So lately I've been watching a lot of Thai dramas, but I started with manga/manhwa, so I'll be talking about both.

1. I'm gonna do top 3 favorite tropes, because I can't think of 5.

Hidden Agenda. Not like the Joong/Dunk series. I'm talking about when a character comes onto the scene with a secret personal mission but foils their own plan by falling in love. This, of course, leads to a snowball of lies, followed by the inevitable dramatic fallout. For example:

Not Me - Honestly, just fucking outstanding. I love this series so much. The guilt that White feels the longer he keeps the lie going, and then Sean's confusion and refusal to accept when shit unravels is just devastating. It's what I live for.

Tale of Thousand Stars - What makes this one extra devastating is that we the audience can see the full picture. The villagers only know what Tian tells them, and Tian's own perspective is clouded by survivor's guilt. So while we can see where everyone is coming from, it's clear that Tian doesn't deserve the punishment that's being piled on him.

Unintentional Love Story - There is a manhwa and a K-drama adaptation, but I'm talking specifically about the manhwa. The dynamic between the leads is so cute, it's almost like the author is trying to make you forget the relationship was built on a lie. Until, of course, it all comes crumbling down.

Third Act Breakup. I know, everyone hates this trope. But something you should know about me is that when I get into a story, I want it to ruin my life. Okay, not really, but I might like angst a little too much. I find it extremely cathartic to experience heartache vicariously through fictional characters. Admittedly, this trope often relies on characters acting in ways that don't make sense. But when it works, it works.

Blueming - The simplicity of Blueming is what makes it beautiful, and that includes the breakup. It's not some convoluted drama or people acting out of character, just humans making human mistakes and needing time to reflect on them.

Dark Blue Kiss - Speaking of convoluted drama. I can't even defend myself on this one.

Last Twilight - Oh god, this is gonna be my most controversial pick. I liked the breakup scene in Last Twilight. It was gut-wrenching, but it felt necessary. Like, they both needed time apart in order to grow independently. I mean, they kind of squandered that opportunity for growth, but we're not here to talk about episode 12.

Unrequited Love Reversal. There is just something so satisfying about watching the pursuer become the pursued. The character who initially took the other's love for granted suddenly has to work to get it back. I think it's a wish fulfillment thing. It's probably unhealthy how much I like this trope.

The Best Smell - This manhwa is kind of a hard sell, but trust me, it's so good. It's about a boy named Kanggo whose sense of smell is so powerful, he can smell emotions. He despises the smell of lies, so he initially hates Kamin, who is very withdrawn and secretive. But Kamin has a secret crush on Kanggo, and his affection smells so sweet, that Kanggo starts to do anything to be near Kamin. But the closer Kanggo tries to get to him, the more Kamin's guard goes up.

The Third Ending - The first season, specifically, because I didn't like the second season. Yoonseul reconnects with Jun, a guy he rejected in high school, believing it will fix his karma. When the two become closer, Yoonseul becomes confused about his feelings for Jun. After rejecting him for the second time, Jun pulls away, and Yoonseul realizes too late that he's fallen for Jun.

A Shoulder to Cry On - Specifically the manhwa. While I thought the drama was a pretty good adaptation, my favorite scene played out much more satisfyingly in the manhwa. After rejecting Dayeol and pushing him away, Taehyun regrets his decision and tries to make up with him. But Dayeol decides his life is easier without Taehyun in it, and he tells him, "I can handle my feelings for you, but I don't think I can handle you." And it's on their graduation day, so he just straight disappears from his life after that.

2. I first started reading manhwa in 2020 when I was in quarantine and needed a distraction. I'd been reading Haikyuu or something, and someone on YouTube recommended Someone Else's BL Manhwa. I instantly fell in love with it and to this day it's still my favorite BL manhwa.

I transitioned to dramas when I watched Blueming, which is one of the few k-drama adaptations that I thought was much better than the manhwa it was based on.

Aside from those two, a BL that holds a special place in my heart is Bad Buddy. It was the one that started my great GMMTV binge-watch, and I've watched it three times since then. It's my comfort watch.

3. I don't really like the seme/uke labels, but I can just tell you some of my favorite BL main characters.

I tend to be drawn to two kinds of characters. The first are those who are not very smart, but very passionate and sincere.

Gun - My School President

Heesu - Heesu in Class 2

The second are those who are stubborn and kind of bratty. Even better if they're only bratty to the love interest, because that's good stuff.

Seunghee - Someone Else's BL

Team - Between Us (Between Us wasn't very good, but Team can stay. And no, I haven't watched UWMA.)

Day - Last Twilight

[ghoulphile]

hi! um, a couple random questions if you've got the time and do not mind.

1. thoughts on Gob & Raul, my most beloved ghouls? not looking for anything specific, just curious, i'm new around this blog i guess, haha.

2. i'm also becoming deeply afflicted with the Walton Goggins BrainRot™ and am going to be binge watching some of his movies, do you have a favorite?

3. also also have you seen his Wikipedia photo? dear god that man truly has a 100,000 watt smile, it feels like i've just stared into the sun, 10/10 do recommend.

have a pleasant day, and thanks for your time! be well! 👍

hello and welcome~ i’m more than happy to answer random questions, i love them 🥰

1. thoughts on Gob & Raul, my most beloved ghouls?

i love them both! this is an all ghouls lover blog lol. gob is my baby — i will murder anyone who harms him, and raul is my sassy sarcastic lil guy.

2. i'm also becoming deeply afflicted with the Walton Goggins BrainRot™ and am going to be binge watching some of his movies, do you have a favorite?

so funny thing is… i’m working my way through his filmography myself 😅 i had no clue who he was before fallout even though he’s been in several of my fave movies like? what??

that said, i’ve watched vice principals, the unicorn, and the righteous gemstones for his tv shows so far. i adored vice principals so i’d definitely recommend that one. i also really liked the unicorn (still finishing season one), it’s got a cute story and he looks too good in every episode 😮‍💨

the righteous gemstones — he’s not in very much though i just finished season 1 so idk, plus he’s a 70 year old man in it so it’s not really a thirst watch for me. i’m ambivalent about it atm if i’m being honest. idk if it’s the premise (televangelist family with scandals and secrets… and i didn’t grow up with religion/church so some things kinda made me go ???) or what but it’s not my favorite thus far. the acting is great and there are a lot of people from vice principals in it, and other shows i like but 🤷‍♀️ we’ll see lol.

for movies, i love the maze runner series and recently rewatched it — though he’s in the death cure for all of 3 minutes? maybe? idk but he doesn’t have a nose again lol. there’s also the 2018 reboot of tomb raider and the ant-man movie but i have no clue of his involvement as i watched them before i knew who he was.

3. also also have you seen his Wikipedia photo? dear god that man truly has a 100,000 watt smile, it feels like i've just stared into the sun, 10/10 do recommend.

oh 🥹 you’re so right he’s such a cute dork i cant—

i hope you have a great day ❤️!

[regarding-stories]

The Fallout Series as stories (part 1, also: not about the TV show)

"Fallout" is a series of games set in a post-apocalyptic future. The world "ended" in 2077 and the player gets to explore the aftermath and interact with the people inhabiting "the Wasteland." What "Fallout" is about, however, is defined differently by various games, as they were produced by different people and companies.

To make things a little easier to follow, let's distinguish the games a bit:

Fallout 1+2 (FO1, FO2) were isometric 2D roleplaying games released by the original designers for Interplay, they run on the same engine and their stories build on each other. The settings are California and Northern California, respectively.

"Van Buren" was a design document for a third installment on a more modern engine that was never made since the publisher had to sell the IP. Its setting covers the Mojave desert, Utah, and Colorado.

Fallout 3 (FO3) was instead made by Bethesda, the RPG behemoth responsible for the Elder Scrolls series ("Oblivion", "Skyrim") and nowadays "Starfield". It is set around Washington, DC.

Fallout: New Vegas (FO:NV) was made under a license from Bethesda, using their FO3 engine, but by many of the people originally behind Fallout. It recovers a lot of the "Van Buren" material but ends up telling a different story. The game focuses on the Mojave desert, but you can visit Utah in a DLC.

Fallout 4 (FO4) is another RPG made by Bethesda, this time set near and in the ruins of Boston.

Fallout 76 (FO76) is more of a multiplayer shooter with RPG elements than a Fallout RPG. It eventually offered things like a Battle Royal expansion. It's set in the Appalachians.

Let's look a bit at the stories of these games, and especially what kind of stories they try to tell.

Dark yet hopeful

Fallout 1, a game released 1997, was a strange groundbreaker. It was celebrated as a spiritual successor "Wasteland" (1988), probably the first, or at least the first interesting, post-apocalyptic game. This is true and then not. Whereas "Wasteland" was a game about an organization called "the Rangers" trying to restore peace to a post-apocalyptical America and the party becoming heroes saving the world, FO1 has a different, more personal, and maybe noir vibe.

First of all, humanity, at least in North America largely survived the nuclear holocaust thanks to underground bunkers called Vaults, built by a company called VaultTec. The player character in FO1 sets out from such a vault to find a chip to control the vault's failing water purification system and begins to explore the surroundings, fighting various mutated monsters and dangerous raiders on his way.

During the course of the game you will deal with various factions, including the technology-preserving Brotherhood of Steel, a group of irradiated, long-lived and sentient ghouls, a sort of do-goodie hippie community, a cult worshipping a bomb, raider gangs, etc. Ultimately the player gets to decide the fates of many groups in the Wasteland, and combats the Supermutant menace threatening them all, ultimately thwarting "the Master's" plans to create a new sort of "super-human" from the Forced Evolution Virus, another threat released into the world during the war, and ultimately the cause of all these mutations.

I remember getting FO1 on a CD-ROM as part of a compilation and being to no end surprised by it. It looked at first like a low-end title with maybe nothing much to it, but it quickly blew my mind. Its mix of atmospheric dark music, a clever combat engine taking place within the portrayed world, its multitude of choices, and its storytelling were a unique combo.

Fallout itself has no simple story, it keeps telling you many things and expanding. It tells you how the world ended, but it's fair to say the world ended before "the bombs fell." Pre-apopalypse America was a militaristic police state that had occupied Canada and was battling China for the world's resources. The world from the before the final war looks bleak, and yet may in some respects look like heaven to those who came after.

Conflict remains a central theme, but this time it's about what the world will look like going forward. Raiders only think about what to grab and whom to extort, but settlers and merchants are trying to eke out a living. The Brotherhood wants to preserve technology, but is isolationist and ultimately an outgrowth of the last vestiges of the US military, formed by survivors in a bunker. Resources are contested, and the players pokes around in a lot of pre-war stuff.

When you walk around an old nuclear power plant or delve into the lore of the world it may seem Fallout is a game about the past. But its people are all looking to the future, even if the past exerts its influence through undetonated warheads and mutation viruses, and even if this future is full of hardships.

An evolving world

Nothing proves this more than FO2. Instead of setting another game in just the same place, the designers fast-forwarded 80 years into the future, and forward they did!

When we leave FO1, the protagonist cannot return to his home. He's cast out as the ones he's saved fear what he has become, so he goes north and founds a small community. These "tribals" live a lifestyle more oriented towards the land, as harsh as its, and revere the "Vault Dweller" as their ancestor.

Other elements have also evolved from the original setting. The settlement you came across first in the original game? It became the seed for a new nation state, the New California Republic. The Brotherhood is still around. Another vault has built a (stagnant, isolationist) city in the region. Supermutants still exist, some as roaming raiders, but also at times integrated into society.

FO2 (released 1998) has a bit of a different vibe from FO1. The basic gameplay is there, but there's more humor (sometimes so absurd that people dislike it). And it keeps building the world, this time north of San Francisco. FO2 evolves the feel of the original and adds new elements. Let's leave the feel aside for a moment (discussed below) and look at what FO2 throws at us.

You can visit locations like San Francisco (essentially its Chinatown), New Reno, mining towns, etc. There are Western elements here, and vibes of the American West. There's even more to do, and it's even more personal. You can now gain titles and reputations, and you can become a "made man" (a top-notch mafia-style gangster), a boxing champion, and a pornstar - and that's just in New Reno!

FO2 is also more about people than anything. Power and control are definitely among the themes, because even among the people just trying to survive there are those who'd sell them drugs just to take advantage of them. Bullies big and small. And the biggest bully of them all is the antagonist, the Enclave.

FO1 was about the world that was beginning (again) and the one that ended. In FO2 you learn many dark truths about the world that has ended and refuses to stay dead. Vault-Tec was never truly meant to save humanity, and most of what it did was conduct a large scale experiment on humanity. The Enclave is essentially the US government, and it's as dark a villain as you can expect.

This "government" hid itself on an oil rig, and is using the technology left to it (like "vertibirds", i.e. helicopters) to work towards its goal: Erase the population of the mainland and start it over in its image. (The "remaking by force (and virus)" theme of FO1 is alive and well, apparently.) Talk about persistence... Their plot unfolds 164 years after the war. Given it's the same government that launched the nukes and left humanity to die, mutate, and experiment on them, this is as villainous a blast from the past as can be.

Original Fallout, however, has a way to have villains make fools out of themselves. "The Master" ultimately was a fool, as his Supermutants turned out to be sterile - and hence have no future. They could not supersede the human race. And "the Enclave" cannot escape the effects of the FEV virus, even though they pretend they can. The irony is condensed into their main enforcer who has become a super-mutant monstrosity himself after exposure.

An aesthetic

Even though a lot of it was conveyed through videos, character closeups, and various game screens, Fallout managed to evolve a strong aesthetic and unique vibe. It's setting is futuristic and retro. The 1950s are back with their cars with fins, their ideas how a robot might look like, and their "Atomic Cafe" like vibes in reaction to the development of the hydrogen bomb.

Many design elements of Fallout have had a lasting impact on people coming in touch with them, including:

The Vault Boy, the iconic mascot of VaultTec, featured in its "educational" films and promos, but also in the various game screens. This becomes especially strong in FO2 where all these little reputation images and illustrations feature Vault Boy in various guises.

PipBoy, a (clunky) wearable device that acts as the world's biggest smart watch, including maps, a radiation detector, and various other things.

Full body power armor and massive guns, as used by the original US army, the Brotherhood of Steel, the Enclave, and ultimately the player.

Supermutants, looking like big, green, hulking brutes.

Deathclaws, a sentient giant monster.

You will find robots that have heads looking like brains in jars, robotic dogs, a "Mr Handy" utility robot with lots of tool arms, may own a fusion-cell powered car reminiscent of a Cadillac. You might even recover an oil portrait of Elvis from a crashed UFO labeled "property of Area 51."

FO1 and FO2 are a unique mix of genres, and its aesthetic of decay, rust and rot, its selective use of futuristic items define it. This combines with a dark synth soundtrack to a tight package. FO1 also has a pretty grim manual, explaining a good deal of what nuclear weapons are "nowadays" held by the various powers and how they are intended to be used at "lower yield" (150 kilo tons vs the multi-megaton monsters developed in the 1950s) to limit the phenomenon known as "fallout."

The combination of its graphics, lore, gameplay, design aesthetics - it all conveys together something that has become uniquely "Fallout". So much so that when watching "Loki" I couldn't shake the feeling of seeing something reminiscent to "Fallout", in spite of it taking its cues more from the technology and design of the 1960s.

Games about decisions

Part of the lasting impact the originals had was the fact that they left a lot to the player. Choices you made during the game would impact "the ending" - slides you were shown showing you the consequencs of your actions. Often these choices are between differing options, and not all of them can work out, even if taken. This alone added replay value as one tried to achieve the various endings.

But choice was baked in everywhere. Nothing prevents you from finishing the games killing all and everyone, or with as little violence and as much stealth and diplomacy as possible. This spiked people's ambitions, and is very different from many RPGs before and after it, often only offering slight variations of one path towards the end.

This also brings the concept of morality and consequences of your choices into focus, as your choices impact how you are received to a degree. You can also decide to play smart or dumb (which can be hilarious and limits dialogue). What you do and what you say feels like it matters. Already by that, the original games left a lasting impact on game design itself, being copied in various ways by later games.

This is the legacy of the original two games, and here my coverage of it takes a short break and is continued in other articles taking advantage of this groundwork. To be continued here.