#thankfully the doctors made it all better before it escalated so they could all eventually calm down

[multishipper-baby]

This is pretty dark but with the whole health issues and complications, I like to think there was a moment (even if only a brief one) where baby Deya wasn't breathing when she was just born and it was horrifying for everyone.

[hughiecampbelle]

Being The Smartest Shelby Would Include:

Polly knew you were smart from the start

She said so when you were a baby, but of course no one believed her

Everyone thought their kids were special, but you really were

Born just a few years before Finn, you weren't the baby, but you definitely weren't the oldest, so it was hard to be taken seriously

It started with your homework

You spent a lot of nights trying to tell your siblings it was just too easy

You weren't just getting every answer right, you were finishing pages of work in minutes, faster than anyone in your class

Eventually, you moved on to your brothers work

Finding it discarded on the table, you recognized Johns scraggly handwriting

He'd only made it halfway through, so you decided to finish it, even fixing some of his mistakes along the way

You wanted to show them what you'd done, but of course no one listened

At least, not until you stood on your chair and demanded that someone look over your work

It was a bit dramatic, and made for an embarassing story later, but you wanted to be heard

They did, finally, and they were shocked

Tommy handed it to John, who passed to Ada, skipping over Arthur, who eventually got it to Polly

"Well?"

"It's right, all of it. . . ."

"Fuck."

It wasn't just math though. You were reading every book you could find, even the ones your siblings struggled to get through

You had a knack for puzzles, for figuring things out no one else could, able to pull things apart and put them together just in your head

Polly knew, and she was going to do something about it

Anything she could find to keep you entertained, occupied, your mind at work, she'd bring it home

You had an incredible memory too, remembering everything from the contents on the back of bottles you brothers drank from to entire speeches Polly gave when all of you were misbehaving

It was amazing, to say the least

You were a kid when your brothers went off to war, so it was mostly Ada and Polly who spent long nights with you at the table over homework

You didn't think it was fair, that you were forced to stay in school when none of your siblings were

Polly called it a gift, said you shouldn't take it for granted

She had big plans for you, the kind of career kids like you could only dream of

Finn grows up with you reading to him every night

Even helping him with schoolwork, though that didn't last very long

It still irks you Polly let's Finn drop school, not even getting past reading himself, but you know better than to push the subject

By the time your brothers come back, thankfully all in one piece, you've become a bit of a myth or legend around the Small Heath

Not only are you taller and with more acne, a young teenager, you've made a name for yourself, and a business

After school you could be found with a hat on the ground, getting pocket change for your "abilities"

Showing off and splitting the money with friends, you put on shows

Memorizing the faces of strangers, drawing them almost perfectly by hand, reciting lines of poetry from class all from memory, etc.

Sometimes you bring Finn along, promising candy for his silence, making him part of the act

Your favorite is showing off the languages you've lesrned, switching between Romani, French, Italian, and German (to name a few) without a second thought, so effortlessly

Arthur caught you once, but instead of saying anything, he simply cheered you on, laughing at the fact that your business was doing better than the familys

You spent a lot of time in the shop like Finn, growing up there, but never really allowed in on business, not even to listen

Instead you were ordered to be quiet and focus on your studies

And you did, for a few years, slipping notes to John about what you thought would improve business, pressing your ear to the door to listen, putting up with being categorized as "one of the kids" with Finn

And then you made an announcement, one that almost killed Polly

You weren't going to university, and instead you'd be joining the family business

Your aunt put up a good fight, but your brothers were more than happy to welcome you, with rules of course

Ada wasn't too thrilled either, knowing how smart you were, and how special it was, but she wasn't going to stop you

Pol was, or at least she was going to try

"You could be anything you want y/n."

"And I choose this."

"You're-"

"Wasting my potential? So you've said."

You'd be more behind the scenes, working on the business side rather than the side with razors and guns

Your brothers were more than happy to hear that, though you'd gotten more than a few comments muttered by Pol

If you really wanted to, you could always be a doctor or a lawyer later in life, for now this is what you wanted most

You were finally part of your family

Within the first week, you have a full list of what could be improved and you're center stage in the family meeting

To say that was nerve wrecking was an understatement

Tommy had his doubts, of course, but John knew you'd been keeping their heads above water for a long time

"Go on then, you've got our attention."

You were the one they went to check over the books, the numbers, catching mistakes no one else did

It wasn't just spelling mistakes or addition issues, you were taking stock in inventory, in all the bullets that were wasted, the little things that went missing that no one seemed to notice

It didn't take long for you to work your way up, prove yourself not only to Tommy, but Pol too, showing her this wasn't a waste of your time

She's still not thrilled, but you're as stubborn as the rest, and she knows it's a losing battle

At least you're being smart with your work

Tommy made you check over every contract and agreement he made, making sure he didn't miss a single detail that would screw them over

He brought you to the races too, working out probability, though your math was shaky at best under that kind of pressure and uncertainty

You were the one counting the profits and losses too, weighing the options of whether or not to invest

You're really the only one who knows just how much the family makes

That is a dangerous thing in itself

You make friends quite easily

Not only can you speak an array of languages, bonding with everyone, but you've got that Shelby charm and good looks, too

You're quite popular, though your brothers constantly get in the way of any potential relationship

You're smart though, and not just for their gain, but yours too

If and when you're ready to date, you'll find a way

Alfie adores you

Tommy drives him mad, but he'd have you over any day

Not only does he love the fact that you can keep up with him, witty beyond belief, but your Hebrew is perfect

"So, you're the brains behind the whole operation?"

"Something like that."

You're brought along to a lot of in person deals

You pick up on things no one else does, remembering the littlest of things that can and will be weaponized if need be

Their kids and spouses names, the way they look at you, how they speak and carry themselves

It doesn't take long for you to know exactly who they are

"They're lying Tom. I know they are."

"How can you tell?"

"They look away when they answer, their eye twitches, and they always lean forward when they're saying something true."

"You got all that from a five minute conversation?"

You're not only their beloved little sibling, but the perfect weapon

They don't teach you how to use a gun, but you've been watching for years, making note of every tiny detail

When you do use a gun, which is inevitable, it's a perfect shot

Arthur and Tom insist you carry something with you, but you're fine sticking with a simple razor

The guns can stay with them. . . .

Not only does it come in handy with work, but your family, too

You pick up on the way Arthur escalates, talking him down before there's a full outburst

You know the nights Tommy does and doesn't sleep just by the sound of his voice, the way he signs his name

You know when to check up on Ada if she's not doing well after Freddies gone, even if no one else can see the hurt in her eyes

That's the thing everyone seems to forget, is that you're not only book smart, but people smart, too

Constantly making fun of your siblings right in front of them

"Pol, y/n's making fun of me!"

"I am not! You don't even speak Russian."

"No, but I can guess."

He'd never admit it to you, but Finn really is amazed by you

Ever since he was a kid he always looked up to you

School and homework and all that never came easy to him, and it lead to him giving up, so the fact that all of this comes so easy makes him proud to be your brother

"Y/n, curse in a language we all know or don't say it all."

Along with learning weapons along the way, you pick up on how to be a nurse, tending to whatever it needed

From your nieces and nephews scraped knees to bullet wounds

"Do not get blood on my new shirt!"

No one really suspects you to be listening or watching the way you do, so when they need it, you go "undercover"

Gaining the trust of the enemy, pretending to be a stranger that just so happens to get their attention as if you hadn't been figuring out what makes them tick, distracting them with drinks and small talk

If anything goes wrong, you picked up on how to get away, how to fight without getting too much attention, and not just by watching

With a memory like yours, there are some things you'd like to forget and can't

A lot of things do leave you with nightmares, with flashes of panic, with this dreadful feeling in your gut like you'd seen it all before

At one point or another you've called your siblings and aunt in the middle of the night, just to check up on them, see if they're okay

Begging your brothers to be more careful

They rarely ever listen though

"Is there anything you can't do?"

"I can't go on a date."

"Nope, not until you're forty."

"Come on Arthur, you can't scare them all away."

Despite all this, you're still treated like a child

Your siblings still see you as that smart little kid correcting their work and growing bored of even the most complicated things

No matter what you do or say, you'll always be small in their eyes

[moonflower-31]

I Won’t Forget You - Spencer Reid x Reader

Masterlist 

Part 11 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader 

Warnings: Basically all the shit in the readers history that hasn’t been mentioned up until this point. (Anxiety, mentions of abuse, stalking, arranged marriage) 

Tags: @dra-reid, @eevee0722, @ceeellewrites, @anotherr-fine-mess, @ssahoodrathotchner 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"Are you sure about this?" 

You take in a heavy sigh as you adjust the tan trench coat around you. You nod, holding back bitter tears. 

"This is for the best, Arthur. I can't marry him. If I stay as a Grant any longer than I have to, he'll kill me. Or use you as leverage to make me change my mind. I can't let him do that." You insist, your (h/c) hair flowing in the wind outside the Atlantic City Airport. 

Your brother looks up at you with tear-stained cheeks. Being only 6 years younger than you made him 14. But he was wiser than he should be. He shouldn't have to lose his sister like this. But it was for the best. That was what you kept telling yourself. 

"B-but… what about Mom? A-and Dad?" He asked worriedly, his hands picking at the expensive leather jacket that you had passed down to him once he had turned ten. "Don't you want to at least say goodbye to them?" 

You grit your teeth as a few choice words threaten to surface. Thankfully, you swallow them. He didn't know. You made sure he didn't know. All he ever knew was that Mom and Dad were always 'busy'. He didn't need to know anything else. 

"No, Artie. I don't want to say goodbye to them. They're busy. I don't want to interrupt their meeting. It's just you and me right now." You explain as calmly as you can, giving him the most genuine smile you've ever given someone. You put a gentle hand on his shoulder, pulling him into a hug. He immediately reciprocates it, squeezing you as tight as he could.  

"I'm gonna miss you sis." He whimpers into your shoulder. For a kid his age, he was pretty tall. You softly let out a chuckle. He would be taller than you in a few years. 

"I'm gonna miss you too, little man. If things calm down, I'll reach out. I'll call you. Promise." You say, holding out your pinky. Arthur sniffles and wipes his tears with his sleeve. He then extends his hand and intertwines his pinky with yours. 

"You better not forget me." He insists, letting out a soft chuckle. You laugh softly back, cupping his cheek motherly and wiping away the fresh tears. 

"That's impossible, and you know it." You tease, gently pressing a finger to his nose. "Be good. Do what you're told. And follow your dreams, okay? No matter what Mom or Dad say is your destiny, make your own." You beg, squeezing your brother's hand for the last time. 

"I will. I love you, (Y/N)." 

"I love you too bud."  

○●♡●○ 

"Your what?" Spencer asks in disbelief, his weathered hands never leaving yours. His naturally focused eyes were now confused and frantic, trying to make sense of the words you just uttered to him. 

"M-my… my stalker. The part of my past I...I didn't want to get you into. I didn't want to put you in danger." You repeat a little quieter. Most of you wanted to curl up in a ball and die. At least then Peter would stop. 

"You had" Spencer stopped himself, letting in a small gasp of disbelief. "--have, a stalker, and you didn't think this was important?" He asks, his voice raising a notch. You flinch and try to pull your hands back on instinct. 

Spencer widened his eyes and immediately calmed his voice, taking your hands back into his. "I-i'm sorry, (Y/N). But please… why didn't you tell me?" He asked gentler this time. You let out a nervous breath and close your eyes, attempting to open the file in your brain you so desperately wanted to erase. 

"It… it might be better if I just tell you everything. I-if you'll listen to my sappy life story…" you insist, squeezing his hands for comfort. His touch was keeping you grounded for now. At least you had him. 

"O-of course, (Y/N). B-but you don't have to. I-I mean… if this is going to hurt you then I don't want you to feel like you have to-" Spencer began to ramble, his hazel eyes weighed with worry. Just like Arthur's. 

You stop him with a squeeze of your hands and take a deep breath. Here goes nothing, you think. 

"7 years ago, I-I turned 18. My parents are very old fashioned. And they believed that since I was already going back to college and trying to be my own woman since I graduated with my doctorate in psychology that year, that they would arrange me a marriage." The words tasted foul in your mouth, almost making you want to spit them out. Spencer still listened, though he did look at you with a look of concern. 

"His name is Peter Calvin. The real-estate broker and investor. At 22 he was vastly rich. And he had everything he wanted. Except a loving wife who doted on him hand and foot. He's a narcissistic bastard who believes he deserves everything he wants. So as you expect, when I turned the proposal down instead of listening to my parents, he was livid. It began with letters. Like this one." You explain, gesturing towards the almost identical envelope next to you. "He would send me gifts, trinkets that I always threw away. No matter how many times my parents arranged for us to meet and try to get along, I always pushed him away. So then after three months, he escalated. He began to call my phone 27 times a day. Blew up my phone with texts. Filled up my email box with 10 or more a day. After that didn't work he began to threaten me. All the while he sent me letters. He would… detail our future together. He even detailed how I would bear him a son first. That we'd name him Oliver. Then I'd bear him a daughter. Name her after his mother." You felt your chest beginning to ache and your heart to pound as fast as a locomotive. 

All the while Spencer listened on in the horror of the past you had gone through. This stalker of yours was easily just like many of the unsubs they'd apprehended. Spencer had never had a personal connection with them till now. His eyes were opening to a different side of things. But he stayed quiet, wanting to let you finish your story before he made any attempt to say his piece. 

"Eventually he resorted to threatening my brother. Said that he'd kill him and my family if I didn't say yes. So… I said yes." You bit your lip, looking down as tears and a sob came tumbling through you. Spencer pulled you closer to him, embracing you in his arms to allow you to cry. You clung to his cardigan, not caring as much about replacing it this time. 

After a few minutes of ugly sobbing, you sniffled and pulled back, wanting to finish the rest of the story. "A-after a year o-of engagement and physical abuse from him I couldn't take it anymore." You let out a half sob, your voice breaking like glass. "S-so I stole a bunch of his money with his credit card and bought myself a ticket down here to Virginia. Gabriel lived down here, and I called him. He offered me a place to stay as long as I went to school and got the education I deserved. So I came here, changed my last name, number and even my social security number. Never looked back." You insist, squeezing Spencer’s forearms where your hands had fallen after he had held you to let you cry. 

You let out a long sigh, the tears drying up and tired hiccups were all that remained. "After a while, Gabriel qualified to go into training for the bareau. And I found out I was too. So we both applied. The rest doesn't matter. Just… know this is all sealed stuff. You're the first person other than Gabriel and my other roommate, Iris, to know. I put myself in witness protection to get away from this man. And now…" you trail, unable to finish your own statement. 

"(Y/N)..." Spencer spoke, barely a whisper. He didn't know what to say. You just shared with him yet again something no one else on the team knew about you. You trusted him with this. 

"I-I know… an FBI agent afraid of some real estate guy. How unique." You laugh bitterly, slowly pulling your knees closer to your chest. 

"Actually, I think you were actually brave for making the right decision for everyone, not just yourself." Spencer expressed, still looking at you in shock. The probability of what was in that letter couldn't be good. If they touched it, their DNA would be on it. This was evidence. If they could only find his and you're DNA on it, they could say that you both forged the note to frame Peter. And Spencer wouldn't allow that. 

His blood felt hotter than melted iron and his face felt stiff. His jaw locked in place as anger began to fuel him. He had heard this man's name before, when your mother said it to you. If only he had known the impact just saying it had on you. He was angry at Calvin. But also at himself for not deducing that something like this was happening. 

"(Y/N)... you kept everyone else safe at the cost of your own comfort. This-This isn't right. He should be in jail for ever touching you like that!" He exclaims, being careful not to raise his voice. 

"Yeah, except his lawyer is the best. His lawyer was able to convince the judge to revoke three protection orders I had filed against him. If I even tried to prosecute him, I'd just get thrown in jail instead. I… I'm just gonna have to change everything again. I'll change my w-whole name this time. Change my hair, move again. I don't think I'll even be able to afford one let alone lease one…" you began to ramble, panic quickly rising into your voice. 

It was Spencer's turn to silence you with a squeeze to the arms. You look him in the eyes, tears beginning to start another cycle. He reached a hand up and cupped your cheek, wiping away the stranded tears. You stared into his eyes, gazing up into hazel hues. 

"Hey… I'm not gonna let you lose everything you've worked so hard for. You are not gonna let him dictate your life. We're gonna bring this to Hotch, okay? Then for now, you'll live with me." 

You snap your gaze back towards his eyes after they drifted. Was he serious?! 

"Y-you can't be serious, Spence. You shouldn't have to-" 

Spencer placed a gentle thumb over your lips and shushed you. "I want to. You need to find a place to stay for now until we get him in custody. So... I'd say my place is safest."

You sniffled a little more, swallowing a lump of gathered excuses in your tightening throat. "A-are you sure about this, Spencer? You don't have two bedrooms, sure I can sleep on the couch…" you began to ponder. "But I'm messy sometimes. Annoying most of the time. And I am most definitely not the most pleasant person to be around in the mornings." 

Spencer chuckled and pressed a kiss to the creases in-between your eyebrows. You blush like a cherry as you stop in your tracks and stare up at him in shock. "You were pleasant to be around when you stayed over last time. Even if you end up a grouch who doesn't like socializing before 8, I still want to help you with this. You're… You're my friend." 

At this, you threw yourself into his arms, hugging him tightly. You knew deep inside that you really shouldn't be letting him help you. He could get killed, or even kidnapped because of his involvement. But right now, some help was better than no help at all.

"Thank you…" you whisper, squeezing your arms around his neck. Spencer hugs you tightly close to him, slightly burying his head in your shoulder.

"Anything, (Y/N)." 

○●♡●○ 

Hours later, the two of you sat in front of the letter, staring at it and pondering whether or not you should open it. Spencer had grabbed a paper towel and moved it to the coffee table. 

You had already called Gabriel and let him know of the situation. He said he called a few of his buddies from his job to watch over the apartment building for the night. 

You were now leaning against the tall doctor who was hunched over next to you, equally pondering the same question as you. But probably better than you. 

You were exhausted and tired of all the fear and panic. Your eyes were still puffy and you found yourself sniffling every few minutes. 

Spencer seemed to notice this however once he moved his gaze from the letter to you. "The handwriting, although made to be elegant, is bold and erratic. He wrote this in a hurry." He attempted, looking back up at you for approval. You took in a heavy breath and nodded, sucking in your bottom lip as you sigh it out. 

New approach, Spencer thought. 

"(Y/N/N)... I-I think you should get to bed. Try to sleep. We think our best when we're well rested, even in situations like this." He suggests, placing one of his broad hands on your back. 

You feel like crumbling underneath his touch from all of the stress. "I don't think I can even try to sleep…" you whimper, leaning closer to him for comfort. "Not alone…" 

Spencer frowned down at you. He rubbed your shoulder as he'd seen Morgan do to Garcia. You were hurting. And he didn't know how to fix it. And he was a damn profiler. A doctor. Where was all his knowledge now? 

"W-well… what if I came in and laid with you. Would that help?" He asked, turning to look at you. 

You thought the suggestion over. Having Spencer Reid in your bed would have normally made you blush like crazy, and made you insist that life was kidding you. But this was different. And as much as you loved Gabriel, he wasn't the type to stay and comfort someone. He cared, sure, but he didn't know how to truly sit and listen to your problems. He was usually the one who offered you a safe place to cry. And wouldn't judge you for it. Spencer, you knew was different. 

"Yeah… yeah I think I'd like that…" you reply, biting the inside of your cheek. Spencer smiled at you warmly, sprouting a couple butterflies. 

Spencer then stood up and helped you to your feet. His arm wrapped around your middle as he guided you back towards the bedrooms. 

"Now your going to have to direct me to which one is which." He comments, looking ahead at the three doors at the end of the hallway. "I think I'd rather not walk into someone else's room and see something I'm not meant to see." He teases, smirking at you. You let out a small chuckle and smile gently, getting Spencer to squeeze you closer. 

"It's good to see you smile." He says. Although it got darker the further into the hallway you both ventured, you could still clearly see the love in his eyes as he looked at you. 

"It's the door on the right." You instruct, gesturing to the door to your bedroom. The room you would soon be abandoning. 

Spencer took out the edge of his shirt from underneath his cardigan and used it to open the door, making you stifle a giggle. Spencer then helped you inside, easing you into your bed. He turned around and closed the door, leaving you to get comfortable in bed. 

When he turned around he was met with you curled up in a coocoon made of your comforter. He couldn't help but chuckle as he came over and sat next to you. "I don't suppose you'll be sprouting any wings any time soon, will you?" He teases, scooting closer to you. You huff, some of the blanket falling off your shoulders. 

"Shut up, Genius." You tease back, smiling at him as you do. 

"No, I don't believe I will. Especially since I just got you to smile." He reveals with an eyebrow raised and a smirk, as if it were a game changing thing. You roll your eyes and nudge him, yawning softly. 

"Yeah? Well I think you're gonna get me to fall asleep with jokes like that." You playfully retorted. He laughed and hugged you closer. 

"Then my job will be easier than I thought." He teased back. You shake your head and lean it against his shoulder hesitantly. You feel him tense up for a moment, almost too long of a moment. But just as you were going to lift your head up, he loosened up, letting you completely rest your head on his shoulder. 

"I...is this okay?" You ask softly, taking in a hard breath. 

"Yeah, definitely. You just get the rest you need. I'll be here." He promised. It was then you finally decided to let your guard down and begin to sleep. 

You feel his warmth radiating from him, lulling you to sleep along with his gentle touch. He had found a way to hold you through the blankets, and you didn't mind. His thumb caressed your arm as you felt yourself drifting off, easing your fears even more than they already had been.  

You had every right to be scared. To be utterly terrified. And you still were. But he made it easier. You began to second guess your own decision not to tell him how you felt. He was here with you when you knew that not that many people would do this for you. Hardly anyone on the team. Garcia and Prentiss might be good for a good cry and pep talk, but that wouldn't have eased you any more than just talking about what your plan of action was with Spencer. Morgan would probably hold you if you asked. But the bedroom was a no-go. JJ was a mother, so she would probably just offer you something to eat to get your mind off of it all. Hotch and Rossi were different people, but you didn't peg them to be cuddlers like this. Spencer was out of his comfort zone with you. And he made no attempt to make it known that he was uncomfortable with it. 

You didn't know where you wanted to go from here, other than heading to the BAU tomorrow and asking Hotch for help. But for now, you needed to relax.  

So instead, you eased your breathing and began to focus on the quiet hum of the air conditioner, and the gentle kiss to the forehead that you felt just as you drifted away.

[mymoodwriting]

    It was such a memorable way to meet, almost felt like fate, but as some people say, create your own destiny. You were arguing with your brother when a stranger approached, trying to be a knight in shining armor. It was strange, and it was sweet, until they began to hurt your brother. Siblings fought all the time but you’d never want them to get hurt.

“What do you think you’re doing!? He’s my brother!”

“I was just… I thought… I’m sorry.”

    Despite the awkwardness you knew where he was coming from, it wasn’t like you and your brother were having a calm argument. You wanted to at least thank them for their attempt at kindness, hoping they’d intervene in another situation like that when someone really needed help. You offered them a drink, and also apologized for overreacting yourself, even though they still felt guilty. It’s how it started, and you saw more of him everyday.

    He was so sweet, and he loved to make you laugh. Eventually he asked you to date, and he just got sweeter. Whenever he learned something new about you he’d commit it to memory, always using it to surprise you later. It was a wonderful relationship, but all it took was one incident to change everything. You were leaving a restaurant after a fancy dinner date, laughing, a little tipsy. It was a good night, and while walking to his car a stranger approached, pulling a knife and demanding money.

    Baekhyun was quick to push you behind him, once again being your knight. He tried to reason with the mugger, but they seemed beyond help. You were scared, not wanting anyone to get hurt, but Baekhyun wasn’t going to back down or give in. The situation was escalating and in your attempt to get Baekhyun away, you got stabbed. It was so sudden, and you didn’t notice at first until the pain hit you.

    You collapsed into Baekhyun’s arms. He already had tears in his eyes, and then started yelling at the mugger. The attacker ran off, Baekhyun frantically for an ambulance. You had your hands on the wound, assuring Baekhyun you’d be fine, even though you weren’t so sure yourself. When the ambulance arrived Baekhyun stayed by your side the whole way, squeezing your hand, sometimes too tightly.

    He made a bit of a fuss at the hospital, since he couldn’t be with you while the doctors examined you and patched you up. Thankfully the knife didn’t hit anything vital, so you were stitched up and put in a room. Baekhyun rushed in and hugged you. He moved you a bit too fast that it pulled at your stitches, bringing tears to your eyes, but you didn’t say anything, he was plenty worried as is.

“I’m so sorry, this is my fault.”

“How is this your fault? You didn’t stab me.”

“If I didn’t try to be a hero you wouldn’t be hurt.”

“Even if we gave them our money, there’s no guarantee we’d be safe.”

“Then it should have been me.”

“Don’t say that. Can we just be happy I’m okay, cause I sure am.” You laughed, but Baek was still tense. “Hey, look at me, I’m okay.”

“For now… but what happens if you get hurt again?”

“I won’t. No more late night dinners then, is that good?”

“I guess… but-”

“Sh, none of that. Let’s just start moving past this.” You kissed his cheek. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”

    Baekhyun pulled you into another hug, rubbing your back. You didn’t dwell on the moment, but something like guilt kept gnawing at Baekhyun. Every negative outcome of that night kept playing in his head like a broken record. If he had been more reckless, he could have lost you forever, and that simple thought plagued him for weeks to come. There was only one way to fix this, and he had to do it.

“You’re burning up.”

    You hadn’t been able to get up one morning, feeling sick like never before. From Baekhyun’s little check up, it seemed you had a fever, nothing too bad. He was more than happy to baby you in bed, and attend to your every need. You didn’t think your bedrest would last long, but days stretched into weeks. You had good days, but you’d always wind up back in bed. It wasn’t a fever, and given how little you’ve recovered it had to be bad. Baekhyun was too scared to take you to a hospital, not wanting to risk making your condition worse, so he called a doctor to the house.

    They looked you over, but something was wrong. It wasn’t your fault, just an illness that could present itself later in life. Your immune system was pretty much shot. You’ve never really gotten sick before, but perhaps that one night just kicked things off. Baekhyun drowned the doctor with questions about your overall health, what kind of medicine you’d need, and what he could do to help. It was a drastic change in lifestyle but Baekhyun made the transition smooth.

    For starters he convinced you to move, to find a place with a better view, given that going out was no longer a good idea. He also came up with a list of different hobbies you could take up, as well as work from home options so you didn’t feel like a trophy wife. With how much energy and happiness he gave you, it really didn’t hurt being home all the time. He’d always surprise you with gifts when he came home, and there were always fresh flowers all over the house, your favorites of course.

“Have you taken your medicine?”

“Yes, had it with my lunch. How was work?”

“Pretty good, felt very productive.”

    Baekhyun came up behind you, wrapping his arms around you while you cooked. He pressed his face against yours, making sure you weren’t too hot. You giggled at his actions, getting a chaste kiss on the cheek.

“It smells delicious.”

“I hope it tastes delicious too. Which reminds me, my brother called, asked if he could come over on the weekend.”

“Hm… I don’t know. I need to think about it.”

“I know you do, it’s just been a long time since I’ve seen him.”

“You need to take care of your health first and foremost. I know he’s your brother but the less people you interact with, the less likely you’ll get sick.”

“But you have the privilege of sharing a bed with me and showering me with kisses. You haven’t gotten me sick.”

“Someone has to take care of you, and I’ve done a phenomenal job.”

“Yeah, you’re a good doctor.”

“How about we see how you are by the end of the week. If you’re good, then he can come over. Is that good?”

“That works for me.” You kissed him. “Go wash up for dinner.”

“I will. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

    Baekhyun didn’t like to share you, even with family. After you wound up in the hospital, he knew he needed to find some way to keep you safe, from everything. So he came up with his little plan, sneaking things into your food until you got sick, then getting someone to pretend to be a doctor and give you a false diagnosis. Now he had you all to himself, at home, safe and sound, and happily waiting for him. Of course he had to keep up the manipulation, so the medicine didn’t really help, just keep you right where he wanted. It was perfect.

[sevenincubistolemyheart]

Tainting Purity Chapter 2

vann

Au: Demon

Tag list: @bangtans-apollo @xsunnyhoseokx @wilhelminalucinda @xsmilebitesx @okgoogul @mariacorbi @spiritualotaku @littlekitten8590 @felic-ci @saturated-pink @fckyouartclass @saraisthoughts @godrics @theshiningmoonsblog @winterseoul @nomimits7 @miss-delacour @apphiaasensio20 @novakitten0901 @thatonebibabe @2seokkyo @marvelkatwoman @vannilacake @books-are-way-better-than-movies @bluespidergirl56 

Rating: M

Potential Triggers: Gets pretty smutty in this chapter, Kinks in this chapter include bondage and degradation, mentions of orgasm denial, edging, and forced orgasms, as well as a lot of marking.  Check the masterlist as I update for all the triggers in the series up to that point.

Pairing: BTS x Reader/OT7 x Reader

Genre: Supernatural, Drama, Romance, Angst, Fluff, Hurt & Comfort

Length: 7.5k (Ya’ll are being FED)

You frowned as you looked over your naked form in the full-length mirror located in the bathroom, gently running your fingers over the small, but vibrant purple mark now decorating your neck. Jimin had really not been shy with his mouth and it had apparently ended up with a lovebite on your neck. At least your ears were safe somehow, despite Taehyung being especially rough. Your eyes lowered and widened as they took in the large bruise right in the center of your stomach where the man had punched you, a vibrant, angry red on the expanse of your skin. You winced as you gently tried to apply pressure, deeming it tender, but not unbearable. Your scalp on the other hand still stung a bit. You reached a hand up to massage the area, turning to examine the area over your shoulder. You sighed in relief as you didn’t notice much difference, besides being a little red. Thank goodness. Your father hadn’t pulled out nearly as much as you'd initially thought. It was actually just a few strands, even though it hurt like a bitch.

Your eyes saddened at the thought of your family before you shook your head and moved away from the mirror and to the shower. A quick turn of the knobs and a check of the temperature later and you were in and finally fully calm once again. You’d always been very easy to get wet, ever since you’d hit puberty. It'd always been a source of shame for you in your youth, and you’d been worried enough to ask your doctor if it was normal. A few tests later and it was easily found out that it was indeed 100% normal and just how your body was.

You grew used to it eventually and accepted it of course, but now that you would be living with 7 demons who could tell at the drop of a hat how horny you were, it was only natural to feel a bit nervous. It’s not as if it would be hard to exploit your over-sensitivity after all. Not to mention, sometimes, it wasn’t even because you were horny, it just happened! You sighed quietly, making sure to wash extra well and get rid of any remaining stickiness between your thighs. You’d have time to talk over all this with them over lunch. After your refreshing shower, you stepped out and wrapped yourself in a towel, glancing at the small hickey still adorning your neck. It hadn't faded even a little, of course, though the bruise on your stomach did look a little less inflamed thankfully. You exited the bathroom and spotted a white t-shirt, black sweatpants and a pair of boxers. Hopefully, Namjoon’s collar would cover the hickey fully. It seemed low enough that it could be if you positioned it right.

You hummed quietly as you got changed, fiddling with the collar and smirking triumphantly as you managed to make it hide Jimin’s mark. The boxers were surprisingly comfortable and the sweat pants slipped on with ease. You pulled the string on top to tighten it so they wouldn’t fall right off you, smiling a bit as you realized Namjoon had taken your much smaller frame into consideration. The thought of the fourth oldest made your cheeks color as you abruptly recalled his brazen actions prior to your shower but you quickly shook it off, heading back into the bathroom to take a quick look at yourself. It was...odd, to see yourself in boys clothes. You’d always imagined doing something cute like this after you got close to a guy you liked, but you couldn’t deny a part of you liked being in his clothes. It was definitely just that they were so comfortable. Yeah, that had to be it. You’d just met these boys after all, despite how intimate you’d become with some of them.

You jumped at the sound of the door opening and rushed out of the bathroom to meet whoever had entered, hearing Namjoon before you saw him.

“You alright in the-”

Namjoon suddenly cut off as he caught the sight of you, making you look down at yourself, suddenly self-conscious. Had you put something on wrong somehow? Or maybe he’d decided he didn’t like you in his clothes after all?

He coughed awkwardly and when you looked up again he looked...embarrassed? It was an odd look on him, especially after he’d become so serious earlier. You found yourself smiling at the cute picture he made before you began walking towards the door, turning to look at him over your shoulder, suddenly feeling much more confident over making someone so typically put together flustered.

“The others are waiting, right? Come on!”

You turned and continued down the hall, though this time you heard his footsteps following after you as you made your way to the lobby you’d first entered from.

Namjoon huffed a laugh when you turned to look back at him, a small cocky smirk letting you know that he was back to being himself as he quirked a knowing eyebrow your way.

“Oh did someone finally realize they have no idea where they’re going~?”

You blushed and laughed sheepishly as he took to leading you this time, noticing he had a spring in his step now that he had control over you again. Though you were suddenly taken aback by the realization that he’d teased you. Hm. You smiled a bit. It may not have seemed like much, but it showed he was growing comfortable with you. Maybe it was a good thing that you’d called him out earlier after all.

The walk to the dining room wasn’t long at all, but it became much longer as you began exchanging in witty banter. Namjoon was quite smart, and it was fun to spar with him mentally. You finally reached the dining room as you finished off your little debate, a silly grin on both your faces.

“I’m telling you, water cannot be wet, it makes other things wet, it can’t make itself wet!”

Your voice held a laugh in it as you voiced your opinion. Namjoon shook his head, rolling his eyes at you playfully. "But water, in itself, is wet! Think about it! The liquid is wet, otherwise, it wouldn’t be able to make other objects wet at all!”  You shook your head with a giggle, opening your mouth to retort again when Yoongi’s voice spoke before you could, with a surprising amount of bitterness.

“Well, don’t you two seem close? Did something happen that the rest of us don’t know about?”

You looked up in surprise, as you’d somehow not even realized that there were 6 other demons in the room with you now in addition to Namjoon. You’d never been a good liar, in fact, you were downright horrible if really pressed, so thankfully, Namjoon answered for both of you as he walked towards the others. It was a simple action, just walking away from you to join his friends.

So why did it feel like the brief bond you’d just had was wrecked beyond repair?

“You’re so funny Yoongi. Could you be any more paranoid?” Namjoon’s voice was clipped and when you looked at him, he looked at the table instead, he was so intent to not look at you.

Suddenly, you wished you could run out of the dining room and hide in the bathroom again.

There was a brief silence before Seokjin stepped forward with a loud clap of his hands. “Alright then! Who’s ready to eat?” His voice was happy, but a close look at his eyes told you he was trying to stop this before it escalated. “I made grilled cheese and tomato soup since I know everyone likes it...I hope that’s alright with you.” His eyes met yours and you forced a grin as you nodded, walking to the table to sit down between Hoseok and Taehyung. “Of course! Grilled cheese is actually a favorite of mine! I can help you cook next time if you’d like. I’m surprised you even know how to, considering you’re a demon and all. Do you guys even eat?”

Seokjin chuckled at your question. “Where we came from, no we didn’t. But ever since we’ve come here, since our bodies naturally adapt to take on the demands expected of its native inhabitants, we do.” You nodded in response before turning your attention to Hoseok as he spoke up hesitantly. “So...about those rules you mentioned?” He wasn’t looking at you, instead choosing to stir his soup.

You smiled, a bit nervous as you tried to put it off, not wanting to make them uncomfortable. “There’s no rush! Why don’t we all eat first? After we’re done, then we can talk it over, okay?” Your voice was gentle, as a quick look around the table showed that they were all very on edge. “Yes, that’s a great idea.” Namjoon chimed in, and he started chatting with Seokjin as he sat across from him after making sure everyone had food in front of them. This started a chain reaction and soon everyone was chatting and back to their usual selves. You sighed in relief and began eating, smiling at how good it was.

You looked up at the sound of your name, seeing Taehyung smiling fondly at you as he motioned to the corner of your mouth. “You have some soup right…” You blushed a bit and reached up to wipe it with your napkin, only for Yoongi to interrupt as he appeared behind you, apparently having gotten up to put his dishes in the sink. “I got it.” You turned to look at him in surprise and in that brief second he’d bent down, and licked it off the corner of your mouth, smirking devilishly at you as he gave a hum at the delicious taste, before walking off like nothing happened. You quickly ducked your head in embarrassment, laughing nervously as you tried to brush it off, even as your heart was beating a mile a minute and the intensity of his gaze felt burned in your mind.

“Ready to talk rules now angel?”

Jungkook’s voice made you turn to look at him and the smirk on his face didn’t help your flustered state in the least, though you forced yourself to nod, noticing the others attention had all turned to you.

Jimin stood up and was pulling you out of your own seat at that, suddenly very excited for a reason you didn’t understand. Weren’t they nervous about this before you’d began eating? You grew a bit suspicious. Clearly, something had changed that you weren’t aware of. “Wait! The dish-” You turned, wanting to help but Seokjin waved his hand with a light laugh. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll do them after we talk. It’s better to let them soak anyway.” He reassured. You managed a brief nod before Jimin was dragging you, finally ending up in a living room with a couch he quickly sat you down on before he snuggled in beside you. The others all filed in and made themselves comfortable. Hoseok and Namjoon took the cute loveseat diagonal from you, while Yoongi took the seat beside you and Seokjin sat on the other side of Jimin. Jungkook and Taehyung took a recliner each, at the opposite angle to the loveseat.

The positioning of the chairs made you feel like you were performing on stage or something. You looked down, fidgeting with your fingers as you began to speak.

“So...um...I guess the first thing I wanna say is that I’m setting these rules and boundaries not because I don’t trust you guys because I totally do, I just feel a little apprehensive is all. I mean, I’ve never lived with anyone besides my parents before now, and in addition to you being boys, there’s the whole added dimension of you all being demons, and incubi at that.”

You realized you were rambling a bit and grew quiet, shyly observing the boys reactions as you looked up. They didn’t seem offended so that was good but...there was an odd cheerfulness in their expressions that you didn’t particularly like. Your suspicions were confirmed when Namjoon spoke up. “We’re totally fine with that...but for every rule you make, we either get to have one too or negotiate on the one you make.” He sounded awful proud of himself and you took a moment to mull it over.

It really wasn’t that bad a deal. It seemed fair, to both of you, and so you nodded.

“Alright, fine. But there are certain things that are hard stops for me that you’re going to need to respect with no room for negotiation. To be fair, I’ll only have 3. Alright?”

Namjoon’s eyes darkened and a smirk twitched at his lips as he hid his irritation behind it.

“Who’s the one being business-like now?”

You cleared your throat, suddenly very aware of how red his little comment had made you and ignored his cheeky ass grin. Bastard.

“A-Anyway, my first rule is that you can’t just...come onto me like you did in the car. It was too much for me and I wasn’t prepared at all. You all know very well I’m a virgin, so please, go easy on me.” Your voice grew a bit quieter as you looked down at your hands again until Yoongi raised your chin to meet his cool gaze.

“...Not a chance.”

You stared at him for a moment before you fully processed his words but when you did, your cheeks heated from outrage rather than in embarrassment for once. “W-Why not!?”

Hoseok spoke up with a serious tone while you basically had a staring contest with Yoongi. “Did you not see how you affected all of us? There’s no way we’re going to be able to hold ourselves back from ravishing you, especially your virgin body.” You finally looked away from Yoongi as he released your chin and felt your cheeks heat as you saw Hoseok lick his lips hungrily while staring you down.

“W-Well...never in public then!”

“...Not even with your exhibition kink?”

Your head whipped around so fast to glare at Jungkook you swear you got whiplash, even though you heard Yoongi snort in amusement. “Do not even go there Jeon Jungkook. We are so far from being there right now!”

He merely smirked back at you and leaned back into the couch, leaning his head on his arms comfortably as he spread his legs, further showing his confidence. His smirk grew into a bunny smile as he no doubt realized his dominant posture got you going all over again. “Why not? You seemed to like it plenty when you noticed my hyungs were watching you fall apart under our touch.”

You scrambled for words, before huffing. “That’s not the point! I don’t know you guys! Not really!” You took a deep breath to further calm yourself before continuing. “Just because I have kinks in my mind that you know of doesn’t give you the right to use them on me as you please. I’ve never done any of this kinda stuff before and it’s important to me for it to have meaning!”

Taehyung finally spoke up, playing mediator. “Alright, so how about this? We can mess with you in public as we please to a fair extent, and we won’t take it too far. Keep in mind we can tell when you get close, or when it’s getting to be too much for you so we’ll stop before you get to that point. And, if we’re in public, we’ll warn you beforehand with a whisper or a hand on your thigh or something. But, in return, that means when we get you alone back here you're at our mercy. Fair?”

You thought it over and reluctantly nodded. “...Okay. But Go-” You caught yourself before the holy being’s name could slip fully from your lips and swallow before continuing. “Don’t take it too far or the rule gets stricter. Got it?” At their nods, you sighed. “Alright. And what about going easy on me?”

Seokjin snorted so suddenly that you looked at him in surprise but his expression wasn’t amused. It was stone cold dominance. “You don’t really want that, do you?” The words themselves were innocent but the dark, sultry tone he delivered them in had you shivering, too scared of what would happen if you looked away to break his intense gaze. “...N-No.” You admitted, voice meek. He gave a hum of approval at your answer and you crossed your legs at his praise to hide your growing arousal. “Good girl.”  

Damn them all, weren’t you supposed to be the one in control right now!?

From then on, it became a tug of war between you and the others. You hard stop rules were all agreed to so far. The stoplight system was your first one since while the boys knew your body and desires intimately, they didn’t know how much you could take mentally. So, when you said yellow they had to slow down whatever they were doing, and if you said red, they had to stop immediately. Simple enough. The second one was even simpler. If you said stop when they started doing something or were about to, they had to listen, because sometimes, you just weren’t in the mood, or you’d become wet despite not being aroused in the least.

They added a rule of their own when you said they couldn’t bring any people they wanted to feed off of, saying you, in turn, couldn’t bring any guys you liked, either. They wouldn’t elaborate on why, but you gave in, figuring it was important thanks to how serious they’d become. You doubted other guys would be an issue anyway with your previous track record so it wasn’t a big deal to you.

“My final hard stop rule is that I just want to know more about your kind.” You rushed to correct yourself as you saw some of them grow defensive, while others tensed, or outright glared at you. You're pretty sure you even heard Hoesok growl at you before Namjoon put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “I don’t need to know everything, I just want to know what you're capable of, and what I should look out for from others of your kind. I’m an uneducated Human and I read that demons are getting more brazen, and starting to pick up Humans for the human trafficking industry, in retaliation for all the demons going missing thanks to others of my kind doing the same to yours. I just want to be safe.”

“I know you said no negotiation, but there needs to be on this one. Some of our abilities will be used on you and we want to surprise you with them. Besides that, while we won’t tell you the abilities of the other types, out of respect, we will tell you what to stay away from when it comes up. You really won’t have to worry about staying safe. We’ll be with you when you go to demon parties and clubs with us, and we’ll be sure to make it known to the others that you belong to us.”

Jimin smirked before you could even open your mouth to retaliate. “Don’t get offended over that belong to us comment Taehyung made. It’s merely how we view Mortals in Demon society. You’ll grow used to it, and you like it anyway, so there’s no need to pretend you don’t.” His voice was sweet but the words themselves made you blush, and also a little confused. You weren’t physically aroused from that comment, you’d merely thought it was a hot concept.

You nodded though, pushing it to the back of your mind for now as you gave in to the compromise.

Hoseok spoke up next, a smirk reminding you that he wasn’t just the sweet boy he appeared to be and that he was indeed just as despicable as the others. “Fine. Our rule is that we still get to use suggestion, and any other abilities we want on you, if it’ll bring you more pleasure, and isn’t taking advantage. Fair?”

You nodded again after a moment’s thought. Honestly, you had the feeling that if you declined, they’d just do it anyway and hide it better. Plus, the other rules you’d set meant you could stop them if you needed.

You opened your mouth to continue when Taehyung squinted at you suddenly and leaned forward in an attempt to see better. “Is that what I think it is?” His voice was a low, predatory growl that made your eyes widen as you rushed to look at what he was talking about. You looked down and winced, noticing Namjoon’s collar had fallen a bit causing the hickey to peek out. Shit.

“It’s really nothing, don’t worry about it!!!” Your voice was higher pitched than normal as you waved your hands but they all saw through you easily. Yoongi grabbed the collar and pulled it down with ease despite you trying to struggle, actually growling like a dog when he saw Jimin’s mark on you. “...Which one of them did it?” Seokjin’s voice broke the now very tension-filled room.

“Oh, I mean...I-I don’t remember!” You stumbled over your words, feeling like you needed to protect Jimin from the others as you saw how angry they all looked.

Yoongi suddenly roughly pulled you to your feet, pulling you after him and ignoring your protests. “Yoongi stop! Where are we going? We’re not done talking yet!”

“We are now. Until you’re ready to tell us who gave you that fucking hickey, no rule is going to protect you from what we do to you angel.” Namjoon’s voice at your ear made you shiver subconsciously.

“It’s just a small hickey! It’s not even that bad, you guys are overreacting! I’m sure it was just a mistake!”

You yelped as Hoseok suddenly pulled you away from Yoongi’s grip, slamming his hands next to your face as you were cornered against a door. “You said you wanted to learn more about our kind, didn’t you? Well, now we’re going to teach you, first hand. By marking you like that, he’s created a connection between himself and you on a very intimate level. He can now hear some of your thoughts, feel some of your emotions, and on top of that, he’s even more in touch with your arousal. We’re incubi, masters of bringing Humans pleasure and you think it was a mistake?” He chuckled darkly, and you gasped quietly as you saw his eyes turn a dark, nearly hypnotic shade of red.

“Lay off her Hoseok. I know it’s been a long time since you last fed, but you need to stay calm.” Namjoon’s voice was quiet but serious. He merely continued glaring down at you with his strangely beautiful eyes, gritting his teeth and clenching his fists. “Back off. Now, Hobi.” Seokjin’s voice gave him the push he needed as he huffed before taking a few steps away from you, looking away to collect himself.

“W-Why are his eyes red? I thought you all had black eyes, like Yoongi’s.” 

Said male whirled to look at you and chuckled darkly. “Perceptive little thing, aren’t you? There’s a lot you don’t understand yet, but I suppose we can tell you a bit, to appease your Mortal curiosity.” 

You quickly grew irritated, not taking well to being patronized and talked down to. “I’m not a child, stop treating me like one!” You snapped, although you were quickly cut off by Yoongi, as he cornered you, just as quickly as Hoseok had moments before. He smirked, smugly, and gently caressed your face. “You are to us. We’ve been around for a very long time, in many different forms. Maybe we ought to teach you how to respect your elders. What do you think?” He questioned turning to look at the makeshift leader who'd been almost entirely silent save for scolding Hoseok. 

He seemed to contemplate Yoongi’s offer, eyes searching yours, expression blank, before he smirked, causing ice to shoot through your veins. “Mm. Fine. But let's not take it too far. She-”

You didn't hear Namjoon's last words as you were entirely distracted by Yoongi’s lips roughly assaulting your own, full of passion as you nervously fumbled to kiss back, surprised but not wanting your first kiss to go to waste. You felt Yoongi smirk against your lips at your clumsy attempt though he pulled back after a few more seconds, leaving you dazed. 

“The fuck Yoongi!? You know she's never kissed anyone before you should've checked with the rest of us!!!” Seokjin seethed, clenching his fists. 

Yoongi merely shrugged. “Sorry.” The smug grin tugging at his lips, however, showed he was anything but and he found himself shoved aside by Seokjin. 

“Hey-”

“I'm fine, don't worry.” He waved off Namjoon and his eyes were indeed their typical honey brown unlike Hoseok’s. He loomed over you and you gasped as he abruptly pinned your hands above your head, causing heat to immediately flood your core. He sensed your arousal and smirked as you looked behind him, noticing the others’ eyes had darkened. 

“Just want to whet my appetite a bit. I'm the most experienced out of all of us anyway. Yoongi only took her first kiss…there's still so many more firsts we can take~”

Your voice and will were weak. 

“Don't I get a say in this?”

Seokjin purred in response. “Come now darling, no need to lie to us. We don't judge. Now then, you were wondering about our eyes earlier, correct?”

He kept talking casually, all the while keeping you pinned easily, even as you instinctively tried to get free when the other demons approached you. 

“Well, it’s actually very simple. See, when we haven’t fed in a good while, our eyes may turn red if we get angry, or smell a potential food source. Sometimes it’ll happen even if we just spot easy prey. In addition, our red eyes enhance our other abilities, so it’s easier for us to get food, much like when you Humans have a sudden burst of adrenaline in stressful situations.” As he continued speaking, the other 3 reached out and began idly letting their fingers trace across your pinned body. Yoongi dwelled at your neck and collarbone, as Namjoon traced your torso while Hoseok let one of his hands run through your hair, and the other traced the other side of your midsection. “As for our black eyes-” He moved your wrists to one of his large hands and held you with ease, raising your chin to force you to meet his gaze so abruptly you gasped. You hadn’t even realized he’d moved and you watched in fascination as his caramel pools were taken over by an inky black that also covered the whites of his eyes. “These are just our natural color. You Mortals seem to fear it innately most likely due to the media's portrayal of us, and so, as I mentioned briefly during lunch, our bodies naturally adapt to our environment, including the way our eyes look so we can blend in better.”

Seokjin’s words made sense but you found yourself getting distracted as Hoseok began teasing your waistline, ever so slowly creeping lower and the other two demons touch only enhanced everything you were feeling. Their featherlight touch was starting to drive you mad, and you attempted to squirm in Jin’s grip again, though he merely smiled kindly and held you firmer against the door. Namjoon’s breath tickled your ear as he whispered, huskily. “...We’ll be more than happy to help you out, right after you tell us who gave you that mark.” 

You huffed at that, only to squeak as Hoseok squeezed your hip in warning, sending heat straight to your core as he grumbled his warning, voice somewhat playful, though his eyes held the promise that he would follow through. “Don’t be difficult, c'mon, baby. You’re not the only one who’s frustrated and the longer you make me wait by being stubborn, the meaner I’m gonna be to you…” 

You swallowed back your moan with difficulty, your breathing slowly growing heavier despite your best efforts to stay calm. Yoongi’s observant gaze immediately caught sight of you trying to clench your thighs together for friction and he clucked his tongue, causing Seokjin and him to switch places before you could so much as blink. You couldn’t help the frustrated glare you sent his way if you tried as he forced your legs to spread with his own, keeping you helpless and unable to get even the tiniest bit of relief unless they gave it to you. He merely chuckled at your ire cheekily. 

“Glare at me all you want, you’re the one that’s being stubborn.”

You fought as best you could, and lasted quite a long time considering you were against 4 incubi so you were impressed with your own resilience. It was only when Seokjin and Namjoon began double teaming your neck and one of Hoseok’s fingers brushed across your clothed core that you stifled a moan and gave in. “Hnn...f-fine, fine just, please! It was Jimin!” You shouted out, before succumbing to panting as Jin released you, catching your breath and waiting for you flushed cheeks to die down as they gave you a bit of space to collect yourself somewhat. 

As you fully recovered you finally tuned in to what they were saying. Namjoon chuckled. “It’s a good thing Jimin doesn’t know how to properly Mark her. Their bond is weak, nothing like what it could be.” Yoongi snorted. “Jimin? I’d be more worried about Jungkook. With how possessive he is with his prey? Forget it, poor girl would never leave the house without a proper Mark if he had anything to say about it.” Seokjin shook his head, rolling his eyes at their banter. “Well, we don’t need to worry. All 7 of us are needed, so he wouldn’t be able to do something so drastic without the rest of us...we’ll only use it whenever we take her to Void’s for now.” They all nodded at that and you felt curiosity and confusion bubble up within you. 

A mark that needed all 7 of them? Void’s? You were tempted to ask but thought better of it and instead pretended you didn’t hear anything. Better to keep the ace in your pocket as they say. Plus...you were admittedly still horny behind belief and desperately were craving some relief. You turned, about to make your way to your room when someone whirled you around and tugged you through the very same door they’d been holding you against not 10 minutes earlier. 

“Where do you think you’re going cutie? Don’t tell me you forgot about our agreement. We’re both frustrated...why not help each other~? I’ll just feed off of you if you masturbate alone anyway.” 

You flushed crimson as you looked up at Hoseok, and Yoongi who’d silently slipped in behind him.

“Was I really that obvious?” 

Yoongi smirked before he responded bluntly.

“Sweetheart, you’re basically Niagara Falls down there right now. The fact that you thought we’d ever let you pleasure yourself in solitude is an adorable notion. I’m sure Jungkook, Taehyung, and Jimin were all going to pounce on you if we didn’t tug you in here first. Hell, the way Namjoon was looking at you at lunch earlier, I’m sure even he would’ve pushed his pride aside for a piece of you right now.” His eyes darkened as he talked about Namjoon and you found yourself backing away from him as he approached you, causing you to stumble back onto the bed. 

You looked behind you in surprise and Hoseok took the opportunity to pounce, eyes melting to their usual black out of habit as he pressed his mouth to yours, stifling your surprised cry with ease as Yoongi joined you both on the bed after a few moments. You kissed back with a bit more confidence this time, testing the waters, and Hobi softened at this, reluctantly letting you take control for a moment so you could properly experiment if you wanted to. When you went to pull away though, feeling shy, he grabbed the back of your neck to guide your lips back to his own before tenderly running his tongue across your lower lip, meeting your eyes as you opened them in surprise. The black was gone now, as he forced himself to calm. He was too used to taking his aggression out on his usual victims of fetishists and terrorizers of their kind it seemed. 

He’d need to take it slower with you, he had to remind himself you weren’t experienced with this yet and he wanted to bring you as much pleasure as he possibly could. 

You felt something soft encircle your ankles you realized in a daze and it was only when you attempted to wrap your hands around Hoseok’s neck that you realized you couldn’t move any father as your legs wouldn't move any further. You frowned, pulling away from Hoseok and looking to the foot of the bed only to realize you'd been restrained with silk. Sure, you’d always been interested in bondage, and you knew they would innately know that as well, but before you continued you needed to make sure.

Despite your mounting desire, you pulled away again as Hoseok attempted to kiss you once again forcing yourself to mumble. “S-Stop for a sec.” Immediately both compiled and sat in front of you. Hoseok looked vaguely annoyed but Yoongi was nothing but quiet, waiting patiently until you calmed down enough to speak properly. 

“...I…” you hesitated. “You know I’m a-” Yoongi cut you off, but his voice was gentle for once instead of harsh. “We won’t penetrate you until you’re ready, and ask us to. Even us incubi have standards. None of us will go that far until you explicitly ask for it.”

You sighed in relief and smiled, nodding. “Then...that’s fine. You guys can continue...i-if you want I mean.” You suddenly felt shy as you blushed, and looked away nervously, though Hoseok guided your face to meet his gaze. “Trust me, we always want to angel. Now, let’s have some more fun yeah?” He smirked against your cheek and moved further upwards, switching roles with Yoongi, who easily pulled you into a kiss. You found he used more tongue than Hoseok had and that he was quite skilled with it. It wasn’t long until you were moaning into his mouth, embarrassment long forgotten. Hoseok tapped your wrists in gentle warning before your arms were pulled apart and tied to the bedposts, leaving you tied spread eagle and vulnerable.

Yoongi’s mouth moved to your neck and you winced as his lips brushed across Jimin’s hickey though it quickly turned to pleasure as he began to suck and nip at the sensitive skin on the other side. 

Hoseok meanwhile, snickered at your ear, his fingers idly pulling Namjoon’s shirt over your head with Yoongi’s help and undoing the clasp on your bra. “It’s a good thing you like being marked pretty girl because you’re going to be absolutely covered in them by the end of tonight.” 

You could only mewl in response, so wet you couldn’t move without feeling how soaked you were. You’d have to do Namjoon’s laundry to make it up to him. 

True to their word your mind was soon hazy with want as you whined, desperate as they teased you with lingering touches that only made you crave more. Being restrained as you were definitely enhanced your sensitivity but it was even better than you’d imagined honestly. Every touch they graced your helpless body with made you want to simultaneously beg them to stop, though you somehow still wanted more. 

“You guys are so cruel, making her moan like that when you know I can feel her getting more and more aroused. C’mon let me join!” You looked up in fearful surprise at first at the sudden voice, having not even heard the door open but relaxed once you saw it was just Jimin. 

Yoongi hummed, idly letting his fingers tap along your inner thighs, making you tremble. “I don’t know if we should. It was pretty fucked up of you to try and mark her when you know damn well we prefer marking in a group so we’re all even.” 

Jimin opened his mouth to retaliate but stiffened as Hoseok took over. “If it was your solo pick for a night that’s one thing. But you overstepped, and you deserve to be punished. Why don’t you have a seat?” He cocked his head to the side, and his eyes flashed black as the chair seemed to drag itself across the floor until it was within Jimin’s reach. He grabbed it and hesitated before sitting down after closing the door, the look in Hoseok’s eyes finally convincing him, even though he was dying to touch you. 

Hoseok smirked at his compliance before he turned his attention back to you, letting his hands go back to what they’d been doing previously; playing with your breasts. You squeaked as Yoongi’s fingers teased your covered private area, just the smallest brush of his fingers sending a rush of arousal through you that had both you and Jimin whimpering. 

“Hell, you look perfect like this babe. Stretched out and at our mercy, begging us for more stimulation as we tease you. Mm...this should be your job.” Hobi breathed into your ear, his fingers pinching your nipples in a way that had you hissing in pleasure. 

Yoongi easily took over the dirty talk, tsk’ing as he felt your thighs tense from trying to rub together and picking up his pace, running first one, and then two fingers up and down your clothed core, stopping to rub circles into your clit every now and again to make you gasp. “Horny little slut’d probably love that, wouldn’t you? All you’d get to do was stay here, we’d all come in when we wanted and do as we wished, whether that be edging you for hours…” He slowed his pace, grinning sadistically as you cried out. “Or making you scream till you’re hoarse.” He emphasized his words by picking up his pace further, steadily rubbing circles into your sensitive love button now as Hoseok attacked your ear with his tongue and teeth both, all while his hands continued their merciless rubbing and pinching.

Soon, you were a moaning mess, feeling a familiar warmth building in your stomach that you raced towards with their help. Your first orgasm washed over you and it was everything you’d ever heard about and more. Jesus, was it legal to feel this good? The waves of pleasure slowly ebbed away and it was then that you realized there was pressure on your throat.

You coughed lightly, and looked up at Jimin in surprise, feeling your pussy clench at the dangerous look in his eyes as well as his fingers lightly curled around your throat. 

“What did we say about mentioning those kinds of names hm?”

You rolled your eyes at him and scoffed as he pulled away to let you respond properly. “I didn’t even say it out loud, chill out! You’re the one that wanted to be in my head so bad, don’t blame me for not liking what you hear!”  You snapped back. 

You heard Yoongi suck air in through his teeth hard and even Hoseok tensed behind you as you talked back brazenly but Jimin only smiled, nodded, and walked out of the room with a wave. His parting words made your heart lurch. 

 “Fine. Be a brat if you want. But be warned that every single one of are master brat tamers kitten, and you talking back like that? It won’t last.” 

You laughed nervously at that and asked the two demons as they were untying you and helping you up. “He won’t follow through on that, right? He was just saying it to scare me into submission?” You clarified, a little nervous. You hadn’t even really been thinking when you’d retorted honestly, you were just peeved that he wouldn’t let you come down from your high in peace. 

Yoongi chuckled. “Sweetheart, we all can be pretty scary when we’re angry, but Jimin is the type to hold grudges and he doesn’t forget little slights like this. I’d be careful if I were you.” 

Hoseok further explained at your confused look, handing you a glass of water which you drank thankfully. “Jimin is one of the most giving incubi I’ve ever met...until someone pisses him off badly enough. He once kept a girl who’d broken Taehyung’s nose on the edge for a full week until she was begging him for mercy. Then he forced so many orgasms out of her she couldn’t even put her underwear back on without his help, she was that sensitive. Jimin can be up there with the cruelest of us, we all can, so don’t test us if you know what’s good for you, and be a good girl for us, alright?” Hoseok pecked your cheek before walking out with his typical pep and Yoongi hummed as he patted your head. 

“Don’t let Hobi scare you, Jimin and the rest of us would never be that mean, but we can make it feel like we are, especially because you’re so sensitive and easy to rile up. Jimin plays dirty despite his cute facade, so just be on your guard.” He began making his way to the door though he stopped with a quiet “oh!” of remembrance and turned to face you again. “Try not to let Kook see that bruise on your stomach by the way. He’d feel awful if he knew you got hurt because of him. We’re heading out to get you some of your own clothes in a bit, so get yourself together and meet us in the main hall alright? It’s getting pretty late already.”

With that, he was gone and you were left with your thoughts as you made your way back to Namjoon’s room. You opened the door and walked in, still taken aback from Jimin’s threat, if it could be considered such and was met with the smooth expanse of Namjoon’s bare back making you flush and turn your own back to him. “I’m so sorry, I totally forgot to knock!”

Namjoon merely snickered at your reaction, turning you around with a wink. “No need to knock. You’re more than welcome to look cutie, I was just getting changed for our outing.” He pursed his lips as he took in your hastily reassembled form, a coy smirk touching his lips as he caught the lingering scent of your release. “Looks like you need a new change of clothes hm? Here.” He dug around his closet for a moment and came back to hand you another change of clothes, making you bow your head in sheepish thanks as you made your way to the bathroom to change. 

“Next time, it won’t be Hoseok and Yoongi who punish you. It’ll be me, and I can promise you that if you think Jimin is scary, you don’t want to see how I act if you try and hide a mark like that from me again. Are we clear?” 

You blushed at the clear dominance in his tone and nodded furiously, turning to look back and him and flinching as you realized he was right behind you now, towering over you and still shirtless though you forced yourself to look nowhere but at his eyes. “Y-Yes yes, of course!” He smirked at your response and leaned down. You thought he was going to kiss you but instead, his lips went to your neck. “It’s not fair that Yoongi, Hoseok, and Jimin all got to mark you. I think I deserve a bond with you too...don’t you babygirl?” At your eager nod, you felt his smirk widen against your skin and then the feel of teeth made you yelp and instinctively struggle.

This wasn’t a nibble, lick, or suck like with the others. This was a bite. And fuck if it didn’t make you hot and bothered all over again. It was over way too soon for your liking, but once he was done you were sure his was the biggest mark, a message to the others who would probably want to mark you as well now. Your eyes widened as you saw blood-your blood- dribble from his lips. 

His tongue darted out and licked it into his mouth, causing his eyes to flash red before he turned away from you abruptly, muttering in a strangled voice. “You should go get ready.” 

It was only when he heard the bathroom door shut and fabric hitting the floor that he let his eyes close in ecstasy. 

Another thing that triggered red eyes?

Blood.

A/N: And that’s a wrap on Chapter 2 of Tainting Purity! I very much hope it lives up the hype since I rewrote this like 3 times lol. 

We’ve got some juicy stuff going on now so that’s exciting! 

If any of you guys are bored and really likes this series, having a beta reader to bounce ideas off of/help me edit would be super helpful if anyone is interested! Just message me or shoot me an ask, maybe I’ll make a Discord or something if enough people want to! 

Also, fun idea...send me asks for any of the boys in this series if you want and I'll answer in character! Just be sure to specify, and know in advance that I’ll dance around spoiler questions, though I may through the occasional hint in. We’ll see.

As always, any and all feedback makes me inspired and also feeds my praise kink so please do tell me whatcha thought, or just come and rant incoherently! I love it all! 

Okay, love you guys, thanks so much for reading!

[justimajin]

Catching a Case of the Doctor Blues ⌠Part 11⌡

⇢ Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

⇢ Genre: Fluff, Comedy, Angst

↳ (4.2k) Doctor/Surgeon AU, Enemies to Lovers AU

⇢ Summary: When asked about Dr. Kim, a string of beautifully aligned words are ready spew from your lips. You could possibly go on and on about how his wonderful stubbornness wasn’t similar to talking to a brick wall, or how his observation skills were especially great in preparing your blood vessels for a drastic rupture or even how one gracious stare of his nearly had you on the verge of ripping your essential documents in half. But it seems that, perhaps, there was a lot more to Dr. Kim then what meets the eye…

⇢ Warnings: Y/N going slightly crazy trying to figure out Dr. Kim

⇢ A/N: Surprise! I was able to get the chapter done early this time (for once). Let me know what you guys think so far, the next update will be tuesday as originally planned. 

⇢ Moodboard Prologue Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

“I think I ate too much food.” Jin sighs, clutching onto his stomach.

“I don’t think I’ve ever payed so much for a meal.” Namjoon whispers, digging through his wallet when the large stack of papers have considerably disappeared.

“I didn’t eat too much and I didn’t pay, so I guess I win.” Yoongi shrugs, watching over the two concerned individuals and then taking out his phone to call a cab for the night.

“My place is close by so I’ll be heading out now.” You say, pointing behind you when everyone nods, expect for a certain individual.

“I live in that direction too.” Dr. Kim states and you freeze, hoping he wasn’t implying what you were thinking.

“I can drop you off.” You inwardly sigh, especially when your friends seem to be in complete favor of the idea.

“It’s dark Y/N, go with him.” Yoongi says and you glare at him; surely your college friend could have attempted to save you somehow.

“Alright.” Turning to the side, you see Namjoon and Jin already climbing into the cab. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow at work.” They wave back when Dr. Kim starts to walk and you follow along with him.

There’s a dense silence in the distance when you enter the parking lot and pass through the underground tunnel leading to his car. The lot is clear of anyone else despite a couple of cars, only the base of your combined shoes echoing through the expanse.

Dr. Kim stops in front of a black car, cleaned to utter perfection and sparkling underneath the lights of the lot. After unlocking it, he opens the door to the passenger seat and gestures for you to enter. Hesitantly, you slide into the car.

The whole experience thus far doesn’t seem as bad as you had imagined, but then Dr. Kim gets into the seat opposite to you and you beginning to wonder why on earth car manufactures were so fixated on creating car seats in such close proximity to each other.

The engine roars when he jams in the key and even you need to admit that you’re impressed by the way he begins to reverse the car. He leans over to your side a little too much in your own displeasure but you brush it off when you acknowledge that he needed to have a clear view behind himself.  

“How long have you been driving for?” You question once he steers the car onto the road, driving in a perfect turn.

“Two months.” His tone is blank, a simple statement in which you initially nod, but then the root of the information sparks. 

“Two months?” You whisper, wondering how he was even able to pull off driving so well when he didn’t even have the experience to back it up.

A small smile tugs on his lips, “Surprised?” He says it in a playful tone, but your eyes are stuck to the way his mouth stretches.

“You should do that more often.” You utter quietly, but his keen ears pick up onto it.

“Do what more often?”

“Smile.” You hastily turn your head away, not wanting to meet eye contact.

“You want to see me smile more often Dr. L/N?” He repeats your words, as if trying to understand the meaning behind them. But the way he keeps that continuous playful tone in them makes you want to diminish any reason for trying to keep a conversation with him.

“Forget it.”

However he lets out a deep sigh, hands maneuvering over the steering wheel with ease when his eyes remain concentrated on the road before him. “How…how scary do I come off as?”

You widen your eyes, abruptly blinking them a couple of times before you try to comprehend if you had heard what he said correctly. “Scary…?” You wonder why its that specific word that he’s chosen to use.

He hums, “Jungkook said I used to scare him.”

“Jungkook?” The conversation you had with him prior to talking to Dr. Kim pops up inside your head, “Oh. I guess... you give off an intimidating vibe?”

It seems absurd that you’re trying to help Dr. Kim with a personal issue, if you could even call this one, but the way that he brings it up to you about makes you think that perhaps the man does genuinely want to know.

“I see…” He almost looks defeated, like he had already lost before starting a battle.

“If it worries you so much…” There’s a little voice in the back of your head jabbing at you in fury for even trying to help, “Just try smiling more. It makes a huge difference.”

This time your eyes are concentrated on your hands, staring at them like they’re were the most fascinating creation to have ever been made, but your eyes don’t miss the soft smile Dr. Kim sends you at the suggestion.

Maybe Jimin was right….maybe he had been abducted by aliens and replaced….

The car turns over to a familiar corner before Dr. Kim brings the vehicle to a gentle stop and your eyes flicker over to the apartment complex.

“Thanks for dropping me off.” You pick up your bag and tucked away medical coat, turning around to close the door. But a certain shiny metal object is placed within your field of vision when it’s pushed towards you.

“You dropped it at the restaurant.” He simply states and your hand pats over to the pocket in your coat, void of anything inside. 

With a sigh, you reach out, “Thank you.”

Slipping the phone into your coat pocket, you shut the door and it clicks, but a voice ushers you from leaving.

“Dr. L/N.”

The window is pulled down and you hug your coat tighter onto your form when the nightly breeze passes by, but you still lean closer to hear him. “Yes Dr. Kim?”

He opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, eyes wavering when the curiosity peeks through, “Do you…do you really hate me that much Dr. L/N?”

It’s incredible to see that if you were asked the same question a couple of months ago, how fast your response with had been through the speed of lightening. But Dr. Kim keeps his eyes trained on you and for a moment you actually falter, especially when his eyes pleadingly bore so much in them, as if they were expectantly wanting to change that finite answer that question would usually result in.

His eyes are still incredibly focused on you when you’re fumbling for some answer that you could possibly generate. However, it eventually does come out and its something particular that surprises you both.

“I-I’m not so sure anymore.”

You had eventually discovered after getting home that night spent surrounded by your co-workers that although your phone was in the same condition you had dropped it, strangely enough the message app had been opened. Thankfully a handful of certain saved messages from the past hadn’t been touched, but you can’t seem to recall if you had even touched the app at all throughout the day.

But that strange occurrence gets masked over with a new one, one that kept your thoughts lit at night and one that would continuously buzz around you even when the slightest bit of unconsciousness dipped in.

Dr. Kim’s words were fairly simple, but the underlying large load to them was not expected whatsoever from you. You had assumed that the air you shared together was always apparent; a rough, inflaring and absolutely irritating air that was hard to even stand in the presence in, but a stream of events are making you actually seriously consider his question. Especially when the answer was taking some time to come out of you.

You turn in reverse, going back to track any instance of his behaviour. The difference started becoming obvious when he had invited himself over to take care of you – an action that still makes you ponder as to why that was even a priority of his but then merely shrugging when you caught the culprit that influenced his decision. He had then proceeded to be kind to Jungkook, which escalated in Jungkook viewing the man in a better light, but you don’t see a very solid purpose in doing so. Jungkook was just an intern, so appealing to him would undeniably not give Dr. Kim an advantage in any way. The same abrupt kindness can be applied to Hoseok as well, with you having so much frustration as to why Dr. Kim, a man with no regard for patients, was actually trying to be considerate with no outcome for himself.

Your mind then ponders over to the surgery; being entirely startled when he had decided to assist you so graciously but even more so when he decided to compliment you. It was a striking cord and for a moment, you must admit to yourself, you found the words sinking in beautifully compared anything else he’s retorted to you. You then recall his expression with the children, playing with them with a huge grin, and then just yesterday, where he had offered to drop you off.

The entire memory of events is making you spin and it worsens when you have no rope to pull you back up, no form of reasoning for any of his actions.

You feel like you’re going to explode, your head throbbing so much when you do not have a definite answer despite the assessment.

���Woahh, Y/N are you alright?” Jimin hurriedly asks when he catches you gripping onto the base of your door in the midst of stumbling.

You blink when Jimin’s eyes are flickering all over you, but you remain silent until you decide that you were going to get nowhere with this unless you get some much needed help.

“Hypothetically.” The idea flashes in your mind like a lightbulb setting off and Jimin narrows his eyes, still clueless about what was going on.

“Huh?”

“Hypothetically.” You continue, standing up straight thanks to his help, “If there was a person that you weren’t fond of, but in the recent time they’ve become kinder, to you and to others, is there still a reason to dislike said person?”

Jimin stares at you for a second, trying to link together what you were even going on about, but it instantly clicks for him and he wants to laugh at how ridiculous you were starting to sound. “Hypothetically?” He questions, a small smirk on his lips.

You nod, “Hypothetically.”

“Well…” A low sigh escapes him, knowing that if you were talking to him about it then it probably had been bothering you for a while. He wants to deter you into the right direction if that’s really the case, “I don’t think there should be one? If I didn’t like a person but their attitude changed, maybe that suggests the person is trying to change themselves?”

Your thoughts come to a pause, not even attempting to land on that type of conclusion. “Trying to change themselves…?”

Jimin shrugs, “Maybe they realized the error of their ways.” He flutters his hands around you like he was casting a magic spell but you pout at the notion, making him want to laugh again. As much as he thinks you’re an excellent doctor and a wonderful friend, you could truthfully have some major shortcomings when it came to interpreting a person’s motives apart from their genuine interest in you.

“But what if this person is calculative? What if they usually try to get benefits out of a situation for only themselves?”

Jimin’s eyes widen when he sees your eyes darting around in fear, “Y/N, just try to think about it. If I was acting a certain way, wouldn’t I need to change something about myself if I realized I was doing something wrong?”

His words penetrate into your skull all too fast and you finally grasp onto something grounded from all your racing thoughts.

Perhaps you were too accustomed to associating Dr. Kim with his cruel characteristics, that even considering him wanting to change was completely out of the bag.

“T-Thanks Jimin…” You whisper and a soft smile crosses over him, right before he’s tugging you in around his arm and his voice pitches through a dramatic tone.

“Of course asking for my help was exactly what you needed.”

“Dr. L/N I-“ Jin halts in his steps with documents in hand when he sees Jimin bashfully declaring himself in a loud tone, walking over with narrowed eyes.

He threads closer to Jimin, tilting his head in bewilderment, “I still can’t believe they hired you first…”

Jimin scoffs, “What do you mean you can’t believe it?”

Jin shakes his head, mumbling underneath his breath, “They could have hired Dr. L/N, Dr. Kim or Dr. Min…” His eyes finally land on you, before an “Ah!” escapes his mouth.

“I need to borrow Dr. L/N for a while.” Your eyes finally come back to life at the sound at that, hurriedly going through the protocols when he hands you the papers he was examining.

After running through questions Jin had fired at you, a loud yawn slips through the corners of your mouth. It wasn’t as his inquires were bothering you as much, so but more having to deal with your mind straying over to the conversation you had with Jimin, who despite his daily mischiefs, actually gave you some valuable advice.

The outcome of Dr. Kim attempting to change because of the effects from his actions is plausible, and as strange as it sounds, you find yourself settling down on the answer when your eyes slowly trail onto the man interacting with a young intern.

Jungkook appears to be in his own world with the doctor, eyes crinkling and teeth on full display when the said doctor pats him on the head, a gentle smile comfortably arising from him. The doctor leans over to be closer to Jungkook’s ear and once the words are spoken, Jungkook breaks out into a complete fit of laughter as it bubbles out of him.

The scene on its own, is touching to watch. Something that has your own lips tugging and something that has you forgetting about the storm twisting inside your thoughts. It’s then you see a familiar women walking up to the doctor, who quickly turns his attention over to her.

“Is he doing alright?” She questions and her raspy voice suddenly has you tracing your steps back to when the pure interaction between the two individuals had so much rage pooling out of you.

Dr. Kim nods, “I’ve done the transplant and he is currently recovering, but he should soon be discharged.”

The news enlightens the disheveled appearance the woman adorns and casts a ginormous smile onto her. However, the smile drops a split second after.

“T-the cost…” She whispers, swiftly understanding that the act had a monetary value placed upon it.

But the next gesture is what surprises you the most about the whole ordeal; jaw wide open and eyes locked onto the hand Dr. Kim puts forward.

“You don’t need to worry about that.”

A cord strikes right inside you.

He didn’t….possibly pa-

The woman bursts into tears, her cheeks drenched with the substance when Dr. Kim reaches over to pat her in a somewhat comforting way but her mumbles of small “thank you’s” overtakes everything else.

You still stand in place, mind long lost with any other thoughts when you solely can’t believe the image taking place right in front of you.

Dr. Kim. The man that had directly informed the woman that her husband needed a transplant and she needed to provide the necessary organ without taking into regards any financial problems. The man that coldly turned his back on her and left her to suffer with her own pity of not being able to generate any remains of the green stacks of paper. The man whose display aggravated the likes of you by granting you a bitter position of watching the interaction take place.

The same man that was telling the woman not to worry about covering for the payment and is now ensuring that she was alright before he leaves.

Jimin was…actually right.

“It’s different, isn’t it?” The blonde doctor scrolls up behind you when he finds you shell-shocked from afar, “Almost refreshing in a way.”

“It is.” You tilt your head, still observing them when an entertained smile crosses Yoongi.

After a moment of silence, you turn to see Yoongi still staring at you. “What?”

He merely shrugs, “You’ve been watching him for an awful long amount of time.”

“I-I…” You shake your head, trying to ignore the flush that appears on your cheeks, “I was just curious.”

Yoongi sighs, “I’ve seen you get concerned about others, but you won’t realize until later that this isn’t like one of those situations where you’re just curious.” He pauses, closing his eyes briefly, “Take it from someone that knows.”

You narrow your eyes at Yoongi and can’t formulate what he was talking about. He sighs once again and shakes his head.

“Never mind. You’ll understand soon enough.” He’s about to turn but he pauses for a split second, “At least try to get along with him. I still think you two can be good friends.”  

Yoongi walks away and you’re left plunging face forward into the confusion you were experiencing prior to seeing Dr. Kim. From the way Jimin’s advice had fully breached through the concrete walls of your mind and the way Yoongi was implying at something you weren’t being able to decipher, you settle on one thing you were actually sure of from now.

Dr. Kim has changed for the better.

And maybe, just maybe, you could possibly be friends one day like how Yoongi suggested.

With a content sigh, you stretch out your sore limbs as you gaze at the large stack of paper in front of you that only needed to be filed. Lifting your eyes to swift over to the table in the corner of the room, the man is also repeating the same action when a smaller but still big load of papers are completed on his desk.

You smile and he turns around, “We’re done for the day Y/N!” He exclaims, relief flooding through every single cell of his.

“I’ll lock up the office, start packing to leave.” You point at him to give you the papers so you can go submit them.

As you’re flipping through them, your finger stops mid-way, gaze dropping down.

“Jin?” He hums, looking at you with a beaming smile, “Can I ask you something?”

It’s strange to even consider. Usually you brought personal concerns to either Yoongi and Jimin since they know you inside out and essentially seen every single part of you. This particular relationship strays away from the one you have specifically with Jin, who although is a compassionate and considerate man in your eyes, is your pupil who is here to learn from you, his teacher. Majority of the time this meant that he was the one who would regularly ask you questions and you were the one providing accurate explanations. You know briefly about his life outside the office, how he likes to cook in his spare time, how he comes from a wealthy family but wants to make a name of his own and how he can act extremely young despite being the oldest of your entire team.

So it’s strange that you’re being up such a matter to him out of all people, but it’s almost like you’re attempting to grasp as many opinions you could possibly get because you’ve been stuck on always viewing Dr. Kim a certain way. 

“Of course Dr. L/N.” A frown appears when he utters your professional name so easily.

You ignore its usage, “What is your opinion on Dr. Kim?”

“Dr. Kim?” Jin blinks, not quite expecting you to ask. “Um…” He circulates back in his mind, “Different?”

“He’s…different?” Now that was an answer you weren’t keen on resurfacing.

Jin nods, “He isn’t like Namjoon who ensures that everyone on his team is doing well. He isn’t like Dr. Min, who openly shows care for his patients but doesn’t say it with words. He is definitely not like Dr. Park, who still got hired first considering his…delightful personality.” He pouts at that and you chuckle in agreement. 

“He’s almost closed off, like he doesn’t want to associate with anyone. Sometimes I think its because he doesn’t know how to.”

“Doesn’t know how to?”

“Aside from Namjoon, he doesn’t really talk to anyone, but I did see him talking to JK the other day and it seemed like he was trying to make the effort.”

You hum, considering what he was saying, “Like he’s trying to change.” You retaliate and Jin shakes his head at the thought.

“Exactly! But why are you wondering about this Y/N?” His question catches you off guard, leaving you to stuttering.

“I-I’m just curious that’s all.” Jin thankfully takes your answer in a better way than Yoongi did, nodding his head when you sigh in relief.

After the conversation, you walk out the door and you begin to fumble with your keys to locate the right one. Your mind still spins away from the opinions you’ve had with Jungkook, Jimin, Yoongi and now Jin; all of which were suggesting that indeed something has changed within Dr. Kim.

But now that you’ve collected all this information…what do you do?

Suddenly a loud siren blares outside and you turn to Jin with widen eyes when the windows of the hospital have a red glow casted all over them.

Spinning the lock right away, you spin on your heels and Jin hurriedly trails after you when your heart begins to race. The sirens only grow louder when you get closer to the entrance of the hospital and your eyes catch onto the white vehicle stationed outside, paramedics flooding out.

“An emergency?” Jin questions and you let out a low exhale before nodding. You were pleasantly surprised that you had finished your work on time and could leave for the day, but being a doctor meant that it was your duty to help when in need for medical attention, no matter the time.

“Jin.” You turn around and his eyes fall onto you, “They’re going to need my help. Can you go file these and then head home?” You pass the large stack you were holding in your hands over to his, in which he eagerly accepts.

“I’ll see you tomorrow Dr. L/N, good luck.” He gestures over to the beaming red lights and you smile as he races to get the task done.

The smile dissolves when you walk towards the vehicle, eyes intensely trained on the individual being carried out and trailing all over the repressed amounts of scarlet leaking from multiple places. You rush to assist the paramedics and they inform you that a surgical procedure needed to be done from the collision the patient was unfortunately involved with. You nod, accompanying them once you enter the hospital in haste.

By taking one glance at the patient, you know that the surgery was going to be quick and efficient. Pieces of metal lodged in skin needed to be removed, the amount of blood loss had to be monitored and stitches were definitely going to have to take place.

But you acknowledge that the process will go faster if you had some support on your side, a factor that wasn’t going to be easy to satisfy considering it was late in the evening and majority of the staff had gone home.

A patch of familiar brown hair is seen locking up his doors, a young female intern standing next to him as she holds a load of paperwork. The doctor turns when the lock has been placed, but his gaze immediately shifts over to you dashing down the halls with paramedics.

“Can you handle this?” He questions his intern and she nods when he bolts towards the emergency room.

You on the other hand, dismiss that Dr. Kim had even entered the room when you were examining the patient. Brutal gashes adorn the delicate skin of the woman, flinching once you see the chunks of metal stuck within cracks of her skin and brows scrunching up one you make a note of how twisted back her right arm is.

“Circumstance?” Dr. Kim quickly questions, eyes focused on the patient when he applies a pair of blue gloves just like you had and carefully goes through to identify sites of injury.

“25 years old. Involved in a crash on the highway with a drunk driver. The police have arrested the driver but she’s received multiple injuries as a result.” With a gesture of your finger, you guide him towards the report you have so far made about the situation.

He hums, racing his eyes through it and then returning to your side to continue inspecting.

But he falters for a moment, removing his hands, “Dr. L/N.” You turn your head at his tone, sounding puzzled.

“Yes?”

“Can you…” His eyes are flickering all over the patient and you don’t understand why he’s specifically delaying the question when you were currently in an emergency state. “Can you examine the patient’s lower region?”

You blink your eyes, wondering why the procedure was even necessary. But you oblige, wanting to double check every single thing you were doing.

After a few moments, your eyes are frantically enlarged and your jaw had dropped open, turning to Dr. Kim that shares the same nervous glance you are sending him.

His voice cuts through the silence, declaring the result that you were being directly shown.

“It appears as if we will need to induce labour.”

[elisaphoenix13]

Trigger The Light (Ch.6)

Nothing went further than the steamy makeout sessions, and they did eventually return to their room in the compound, but Scott obviously had a lot on his mind. He tossed and turned in his bed while in the throes of a nightmare, and Quill had woken up when Scott cried out in his sleep. He ignored the impulse to get up and wake Scott from his nightmare, but if it got too severe, he would. But he waited. The tossing and turning didn't escalate at first, but then it did, and just as Quill was about to get up, Scott woke and sat up in his bed. The pirate relaxes back into his bed with the knowledge that the younger thief was finally free of his nightmare, but then he felt a dip in the mattress. Scott must have needed the security of having someone closer than a few feet away and that was fine. It wasn't the first time they slept in the same bed. Back at the lake house, they constantly fell asleep watching movies, whether it was on the couch or either of their bedrooms, and this was really no different.

The only thing different was that Scott came to his bed for comfort from a nightmare instead of falling asleep on it because of convenience during a movie. That was still fine though. If crawling into bed next to Quill helped Scott sleep, the pirate wouldn't deprive him of that comfort. As he tried to go back to sleep, the tossing and turning continued on Scott's end, until finally he settled down and got comfortable. Wishful thinking. Quill could feel the tension and stress coming off of Scott in waves and there was no way Scott was falling asleep like that. So he threw caution to the wind as he turned onto his side to face Scott, curled his arm around the younger's waist, and pulled him against his chest. They may have slept in the same bed multiple times, but they never cuddled. They always stayed on their respective sides.

But it was obviously what Scott needed, because he relaxed almost instantly. Maybe the weight of Quill's arm helped anchor Scott to reality and chased away the last of his nightmare. Whatever the reason, he wasn't moving away or complaining so Quill was finally able to fall back asleep now that Scott was taken care of.

"Quill." Quill grunts tiredly. "I can't get up Spaceman. Let me go."

Now Scott was complaining? He seemed perfectly content just a minute ago. Quill releases him though and turns onto his stomach to bury his face into his pillow and crush it in a tight hug, and Scott gently jostles his shoulder.

"Come on. We'll miss breakfast."

Breakfast? Was Scott insane? It was the middle of the--

Quill lifts his upper body and looks around the room blearily, and the light streaming through the window was proof enough that Scott was not crazy. He just unfortunately had the kind of sleep where it felt like he just blinked, and he couldn't even enjoy spooning Scott. Who knew when that would happen again? This whole time heist they would be going on in just a couple of hours could be the end of everything, or one of them...a thought that had Quill tensing in realization. Maybe that was the subject of Scott's nightmares.

"Quill!"

"Alright, alright." The older man grouses and throws the sheets off before getting up and shoving Scott. "Hope you like cold water."

He locks himself into the bathroom before Scott can react and sniggers when the thief mumbles something along the lines of "bastard" as he sits to wait for his turn in the shower. Even though Quill had threatened cold water, it was nearly impossible to actually use all the hot water for the compound. He could take a shower for hours and the water would still run hot. Quill made it quick anyway because he very much wanted bacon as part of his breakfast and wouldn't put it past any of the others to eat it all before he and Scott even made it to the kitchen. Once clean, dry, and dressed, Quill heads out of the room and to the dining area and immediately piles food onto his plate before joining the rest of the team at the table.

"After you finish eating, suit up and meet at the tunnel. The sooner we get this over with the better." Tony says to everyone once Scott finally walks in. "I can't believe--" The engineer stops his fork halfway to his mouth when Scott sits down in the empty seat beside Quill.

"Scott...did you get mauled by a raccoon?" Steve asks.

Oh this was an opportunity that Quill was not going to pass up. "Rocket! I thought we talked about this! I told you not to attack people for no reason!"

"WHAT?! I didn't do that!" Rocket screams as he motions toward the very large bruise on Scott's neck and shoulder.

Quill may have gotten carried away yesterday.

"Steve said it was a raccoon-"

"I'm not a raccoon!"

"Sorry. Trash panda." Quill corrects sarcastically.

"Is this because I called you Starmunch?"

"Now it is."

"Hey!" Tony yells. "Cool it! Most of us know that Thumbelina is notorious for tripping over his own feet."

Scott pouts. "Hey, now."

"Don't deny it. Now eat and go get ready!"

When the attention is drawn away from Scott (and Quill) the two look at each other out of the corner of their eyes and hide smirks from the others by looking down at their plates. Once breakfast was consumed, Quill and Scott returned to their room to suit up and it was then they realized that they had never seen the other wearing their battle gear. It was always casual clothes and pajamas, and for a few minutes, the time suit that Scott wore. Quill's gear was still on the casual side with a black shirt, red leather jacket and pants, and his jet boots (and of course the necklaces the girls gave him), and Scott's suit was similar to the time suit.

After hooking his guns to his pants, they headed out to the back and Quill points to the bigger ship. Scott nods and takes one of his shrinking disks out of his belt, throws it at the ship, and they watch as it shrinks to a much more portable size. Quill walks over to it and picks it up, and they return back inside to join the rest of the team at the tunnel.

"You better bring this back the same way I'm giving it to you." Quill threatens Clint and the archer scoffs.

"Yeah. Sure. You got it big guy."

"That's reassuring." Quill gripes sarcastically as he takes his place between Scott and Rocket.

After everyone is in position, Steve gives a motivating speech and then they all activate their time suits before Bruce activates the tunnel and they're thrown into the Quantum Realm. Quill follows Tony, Steve, Scott, and Bruce through a branch of time and they all soon find themselves in New York during the Chitauri invasion. They barely find their footing when Past Hulk passes by the alley they landed in, smashing stray aliens, and they look at Bruce who covers his face in embarrassment.

"You're not going to do that to me are you?" The pirate asks.

"No. The Hulk and I...have an understanding." Bruce replies with a fading blush.

"Alright. Porcupine and Banner will go after the Time Stone. The rest of us will get the Space and Mind Stones." Tony confirms and they nod before splitting up.

Bruce allows the Hulk to take over and Quill follows him downtown to the Sanctum on Bleeker Street. They land on the roof of the Sanctum and head toward the door until a woman speaks up from a few feet beside them.

"I'd be careful going that way. We just had the floors waxed."

Quill and Bruce turn toward the Ancient one and walk a little closer to her before Bruce speaks up. "We're looking for Doctor Strange."

"You're about five years too early. Stephen Strange is currently performing surgery about twenty blocks that way." She points in the opposite direction and then looks back at them. "What do you want from him?"

Quill notices the familiar necklace around the woman's neck and points at it. "That, actually."

The Ancient One looks down at the Eye of Agamotto. "Ah! I'm afraid not."

"Sorry...but we weren't asking."

Bruce approaches the sorcerer and reaches out to take the necklace, but she shoves her hand against the Hulk's chest, shoving Bruce's astral form out of his body. Quill shouts out in surprise and holds his hands up toward the woman in a placating motion in the hopes that she wouldn't do the same to him. She thankfully seemed content to place Hulk's body on a nearby lawn chair before she turns back to Bruce in his astral form and Quill.

"Let's start over, shall we?"

Getting the Time Stone from the Ancient One was like pulling teeth. Bruce even resorted to begging and when she mentioned that handing the stone over would doom her timeline, Quill left it to the scientist to try and convince her to part with it. Bruce understood time travel and timelines so he folded his arms and let them argue over the consequences of what they were trying to do. They already knew for the most part, and Bruce even gave her a solution to branching realities. Their survivability was the next thing to be questioned and Bruce promised that too. That someone would return the stones.

"It is the duty of the Sorcerer Supreme to protect the Time Stone." The Ancient One says and Quill's head snaps up as he unfolds his arms.

"Then why the hell did Strange give it away?!" The pirate asks.

The sorcerer looks over at him. "What did you say?"

"He gave it away. To Thanos. I was there."

"Willingly?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

Quill snorts. "Hell if I know. He looked into over fourteen million futures, but maybe he made a mistake."

The Ancient One stares at him for a few moments. "...or I did."

She pulls Hulk's body back toward Bruce, rejoining the two, and opens the Eye of Agamotto to hand the Time Stone over to him. She and Bruce exchange a few more words, and she emphasizes the fact that all of the realities they take the stones from are counting on them to survive. To return them to their rightful places when they're done. Bruce simply nods and turns toward Quill so they can meet up with the others, but the Ancient One calls out to the pirate.

"Mr. Quill...I sense a great power from you."

He shrugs. "Maybe in the past, but those powers are gone now."

"I wouldn't be so sure. You were not given your powers. You were born with them. I think with the right motivation, you could unlock them again." She says and Quill stares at her.

"But they disappeared when I killed my father!"

"No. They went dormant. You focused on his light, when in reality you have your own. You just need to find out how to reawaken those abilities. Find a trigger."

Quill glances between his hands and the woman, and nods before leaving with Bruce to meet back with the other three. When they got back to the alley though, they only found Scott looking agitated and holding a scepter.

"Where are Steve and Tony?" Bruce asks after he returns to normal.

"We screwed up. Then Tony got an idea and they went further back in time!" Scott snarks. "Tony said there's a place to get the Tesseract and more particles and they took that risk-"

"Scott." Quill interrupts the thief's panicked ranting. "Breathe."

Scott huffs and Bruce rubs his eyes. "We can't do anything about it now. Let's just sync up and get back to the compound with the stones we have."

Scott grunts in frustration but nods and they reactivate their time suits so they can press the button that will return them to their original time. They travel through the Quantum Realm again to get back to the compound, and when they get back, everyone (including Tony and Steve) appears with them at the same time and they look at each other with grins.

"Are you saying this actually worked?" Rhodey asks.

The happy victory was short-lived though when Clint fell to his knees in despair. Quill didn't need to look around to realize that they were missing one person.

Natasha didn't come back.

"Clint...where's Nat?" Bruce asks.

That night was quieter than usual as everyone grieved in their own way over their friend. Their family. For Quill, it was Gamora all over again. He lost another friend to the Soul Stone and for a minute, he wondered if this was all worth it. When the original Avengers came back from outside, they all reluctantly agreed that Nat wouldn't want them to give up now. That it would be an insult to her and her sacrifice if they didn't finish what they started. So while Tony, Bruce, and Rocket built a gauntlet to hold the infinity stones, everyone else went to bed with heavy hearts.

Quill wasn't even surprised when Scott slipped into bed next to him. He just pulled him close as he did the night before, and when the younger thief fell asleep, he carefully pried himself from Scott and sat up to look at his hands. He wondered if he really did still have his Celestial powers and tried focusing on the inner light the sorcerer said he had...but nothing. Not even a flicker. Maybe it was a false hope and she was mistaken. It didn't matter either way, he's lived this long without them and could fight just fine.

With that acceptance, Quill laid back down and fell asleep with his arm back around the younger thief at his side.

[thebeethathums]

Observers - 60

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x Reader

Warnings: injury, abduction, abuse.

A/N: Full warning to those of your following this that the next few chapters have a lot of violence and conflict that may be triggering to some. I will do by best to put as much in the warnings as I can but please read at your own discretion

Glancing warily towards the door to his office, Lestrade let out a tired but content sigh, kicking his feet up on his desk to enjoy his afternoon coffee and muffin in peace. It had been a thankfully quiet few days with Sherlock on the West End case and though he was still on call for if he and John ran into trouble, the detective inspector couldn’t help but enjoy the lull in his normally hectic schedule. He had just begun happily munching on his muffin when Donovan popped her head through his door, “We’ve got a domestic case I think you-“ “Not our division,” he called nonchalantly, taking another bite of his muffin, and you stepped into the doorway, “How about a favor for a friend then?” His eyes went wide as he choked on the mouthful he’d just taken and you gave Sally a nod as you stepped into his office and shut the door behind you. You’d already gotten her to promise not to mention anything about this to anyone, surprising how pity can change a person’s attitude toward you. Sinking down into one of the chairs across from him with a wince, you patiently waited for him to catch his breath so he could voice his first question, “Did Sherlock do this to you?” 

You shook your head vigorously as his eyes wandered over you, taking in every visible marker of pain. Both your eyes were rimmed with dark bruises and the rest of your face wasn’t any better with bruises and small cuts and scrapes patterning nearly every inch of it and your lips split in two different locations. Lestrade could see that the rest of your body was likely in a similar state given that the bruises continued down your neck to disappear under your shirt. 

“It looks worse than it is. Mostly superficial. He thought he'd have time to do more,” you assured as you shifted, face looking extremely pained, and he caught a glimpse of the raw skin around your wrists as he breathed, “What happened? I thought you were supposed to leave for France yesterday.” You looked down at your lap, unsure of how to put into words all that had occurred since the train station the day before, “I was… I ran into some trouble at the station. My ex-boyfriend sort of… abducted me.” “How did you get here then? Do John and Sherlock know?” “He’s a bit daft in addition to not having expected me to fight back. I’m not the same person as I was then... he made the mistake of assuming I was in addition to putting me in handcuffs. It took me a bit to get out of them and longer to come up with a plan... eventually, I had an opportunity. I broke his nose and locked him in the room he was keeping me in,” you explained and Lestrade would have laughed at your captor's stupidity if you didn’t look so bad, wincing as you continued, “Which brings me to my favor. Will you collect him and deport him back to France? Sherlock and John don’t and can’t know about this, it’s too much of a risk… I can’t have either of them in jail for murder because they were trying to protect me or get revenge.” Lestrade gave you a confused look, “You only want me to deport him? You could press some serious charges, (F/n). They would put him away for a very long time.” “No, they wouldn’t. He’s a cop… doing that would just be a delay to him getting sent back- they would demand you send him to France to face the charges and, as always, he would use his friends and connections to get out of it. Filing a domestic violence complaint is enough to get his visa revoked and have him deported. That’s all I need.” “What if he comes back?” “That is someone else’s favor, Greg. You pick him up and get him out of England. I’ll handle the rest. Can I count on you?” “Of course. Anything,” he nodded and you leaned forward to write down all the information he would need and fill out the proper form before softly requesting, “May I borrow your mobile?” He was quick to nod, offering it to you. You gave it right back after shooting off a text, moving to stand as you said, “Thank you, Greg. Please call on me if there is any way I can return the favor.” “Are you sure you shouldn’t see a doctor?” he asked, hastily standing, and you offered him a tight smile, “I’m fine, Lestrade. Believe me when I say I’ve had much worse… Now if you’ll excuse me I have somewhere to be.” You turned and walked out the door before he could protest any further, leaving him to sort of gape before barking out a series of orders to his team- he wasn’t going to let you down. You had always loved rain but as you stepped into the street now you loved it for an entirely different reason, beyond grateful that it gave you an excuse to pull your jacket’s shielding hood up to keep away not only the rain but the inquisitive stares as well. You ignored the soreness of your body as you swiftly strode to your next destination, avoiding the intimacy of a cab in favor of the anonymity of the rapidly emptying streets. For once, you hoped that your brother was caught up enough in the case to miss the fact you hadn’t called the day before like you'd promised, things were bad enough without him worriedly nosing around to try and find you. A few tears slipped down your cheek as you tried to reassure yourself that everything was going to be ok. You could handle this. You’d always known this was a possibility and right now you could only be glad that neither Sherlock nor John had gotten dragged into it… and that somehow you’d managed to keep from having a panic attack. Then again the day was far from over. You slipped through the door to a small upscale piano bar, catching the eye of the bartender with a small wave to which he nodded and jerked his head toward one of the private rooms in back. He was an acquaintance from a while back and you had a standing agreement that when you sent people here in search of you he should show them to one of the back rooms without any questions- your artist friends were a secretive bunch and liked to play it mysterious. Stepping through the door, you found Mycroft staring into a roaring fire with a glass of brandy in hand, “May I ask why you’ve called me to this place, (F/n)? Could we not have met at your friend’s café as we normally do?” “Don’t play games, Mycroft. You know I’m supposed to be in France… there was a risk of being seen had we had gone to Annie’s,” you answered as you crossed the room. You stretched your hands toward the fire for a moment as he hummed, “You did not answer my first question- why am I here?”   He looked up at you for the first time as you shrugged off your coat and hung it near the fire to dry before turning to him, “I need a favor.” His eyes widened ever so slightly as they took in your state, getting a glimpse at even more than Lestrade had now that your jacket was off, and didn’t bother with all the pointless questions, going straight to, “What do you need?” You sank down in the armchair across from him, looking deeply into the flickering flames of the fire, “Keep him from returning to England. I know you can… I’ll do whatever you ask of me in return.” Mycroft was quiet for a while before beginning, “You’re trying to protect your brother and mine. They have no idea you are here or what’s happened to you and if you had it your way they never would. You’ve been to see Lestrade and he’s agreed to do his part. I’m impressed that you’ve managed to keep a clear head through all this, though given what I know about you from our previous talks I can’t say I’m surprised. I will do as you ask… but not because I desire a favor in return. You are important to my brother and by extension me and you are one of the few in this world I find sufferable… it would be difficult to replace you should this escalate further.” Blinking for a moment to try and process that, you nodded, “Thank you, Mycroft. I appreciate it more than you will ever know.” The fire crackled for a while longer as the two of you enjoyed the silence and then you stood, beginning to struggle with your coat as you tried to avoid needlessly jostling your arms, both hosting nasty looking bruises from being twisted and wrenched around. Mycroft was swift to come to your aid, taking your jacket from you to offer you his own for a looser, less agitating fit, “Where do you plan on staying while you wait for your plan to play out?” Your subsequent silence answered his question and he pulled his coat snuggly around you as he hummed, “You’ll stay with me. I have extra room and extensive security.” Knowing from his tone that it was more of an order than an offer, you just nodded and let him lead you away as the shock, pain, and exhaustion finally settled in. You’d handled it… now to deal with the aftermath.

[veneataur]

Whumptober day 18

Prompt: Hostage

Fandom: Salvation

Title: An Eye for an Eye

A/N: I don’t quite remember where I left on with posting stories, but I do have them in the works. Most of them are half-finished thanks to a really busy and terrible week. I will get them posted as I’m able to finish them, however. This one here isn’t the best and I’m not happy with the ending, but it’s complete. Enjoy.

Darius still isn’t quite sure how he came to be in this predicament. He’d just finished a press conference concerning the new nanotech his company is releasing when he found himself manhandled into a room. It’s been weeks since his last encounter with Bennet supporters and a few months since they’d captured and tortured him. Since then, Harris personally ensured that he had better protection and more than the usual secret service agents than past former presidents. His first thought when being roughly gagged is that it’s them again. They’ve been persistent he knows though much of it has been stopped by the secret service and additional protections he’s placed around Tanz Industries.

He comes to sitting in a chair with Kyle, one of the secret service agents assigned to him, standing in front of him, staring down, arms crossed. The agents aren’t known for their friendly appearances, but the look Kyle has is much sterner than usual.

“Wh… What’s going on,” Darius asks, feeling the muddledness of regaining consciousness.

“Shut up and listen. There’s a bomb strapped to your chest. If you do anything, I don’t have any qualms with setting it off. Now, there are about a hundred or more people out there. And not just reporters. There’s some that you care about out there.” Kyle gestures towards the door. “If that bomb goes off, it’ll take them out too. Tanz Industries will be dust as will everyone inside.”

“What do you want?” Darius hides the growing panic. Grace and Liam were at the press conference and Alycia is working elsewhere in the building. With his disappearance, the numbers have probably increased with law enforcement coming to resolve the situation.

“You’re going to go out there and take responsibility for all of the deaths you’ve caused. And then you’ll take this.” Kyle holds a vial three-quarters full of a milky liquid.

“Let me guess, that’ll kill me?”

“Watch the cheekiness or everyone will die instead of just you.”

“When will you people understand that the decision was out of our hands. Bennet was involved in criminal activities and was the illegal president. Nothing that happened as a result of that was mine or McKenzie’s fault.”

“My family’s dead,” Kyle yells, choking back a sob as he takes a step forward, the trigger for the bomb moving into Darius’ sight. It’s a deadman’s switch.

“I’m sorry. A lot of people died in the last several months as we thought the world was coming to an end.” Darius is capable of being diplomatic, but he wishes Grace were here. She’s much better at forging connections and de-escalating situations.

“I know. I’m not the only one. Half of the reporters out there have lost family and you’re going to pay for what you’ve done.”

“Look, I’m sorry for your loss but this isn’t the way to get your satisfaction.”

“We’ve tried other means and been denied. We won’t let our families have died without retribution. Now, take this and get up and if you try anything, remember they’re all dead.” Kyle hands Darius the vial and pulls him to his feet. Standing, Darius feels lightheaded but keeps his balance. As he’s pushed out of the room, roughly nudged forward he considers how he’s going to get out of this mess.

All too soon he’s on the same stage as before, to the shocked gasps of those in attendance. He hears the snaps of cameras and clamoring of voices as Kyle pushes him to the podium. And then it’s silence as everyone waits for him to speak. Out in the crowd, he spots Grace and Liam. The whole room is held at gunpoint by the agents assigned to Darius for protection. Outside, through the tall windows, he sees the police he expected and he thinks he can spot Harris, but that might be hopeful thinking. He has a photographic memory, not perfect vision.

“Remember what I said,” Kyle whispers to him from where he stands behind Darius. “You have five minutes before I take the decision out of your hands.”

“Look, perhaps we could come to some kind of alternative arrangement. Compensation, perhaps,” Darius speaks lowly, hoping that no one can hear but Kyle.

“You think my wife and kids are worth whatever sum you can offer? You think their families can simply be replaced by money,” Kyle asks, voice loud enough now for everyone to hear.

Darius swallows heavily, looking down at the podium counter for a moment before looking up. He licks his lips as he thinks. Back when the asteroid was coming, he had no problems flying a suicide mission to save the planet but he does now. It’s not that he would so easily sentence so many to die but it’s the situation and lack of guarantee that everyone will be safe after he dies.

“Answer me one question,” Darius says, looking down again. “What promise do I have that you’ll let everyone go after I do this?”

“A risk you’ll have to take, I’m afraid.”

“No, I want a guarantee that my death will save them.”

“You’re not in the position to make demands here. Now, sixty seconds or they all die.”

“You can still walk away from this and I’ll make sure that nothing happens. No charges.”

“Thirty seconds, Mr. Tanz.”

“Fine,” Darius says tersely. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m sure that some of you know why you’re already here. Time, unfortunately, is brief, so I’ll make this quick. I have chosen to accept responsibility for the deaths that occurred over the last several months as related to the asteroid. I am very sorry for your losses and only wish that there was more I could do.” Darius is as kind as he can manage in his words, hoping that he can prevent any additional loss of life. He hears gasps and murmurs and camera clicks. He sees the puzzled looks on Grace and Liam.

“Now, take a good, last drink,” Kyle says. Darius looks at the vial in his hands. Early death has always been in his cards but not this early. Still, as he looks out to Grace and Liam, seeing their worried, teary expressions, he thinks that if he can save them and Alycia, then this will be worth it. And so, with a slight smile to Grace, he drains the vial. It’s a bitter taste and he wants to gag but forces himself to keep swallowing. The effect is quick but it doesn’t kill him right off. He collapses first, to the side, his eyes open as he sees the flashes of cameras capturing his last moments. He feels his body seize and pain radiate through as he lays there, unable to move or call out. He hears himself make pitiful moans, noises that sound more animalistic than human. He’d rather see Grace in his final moments, but instead, there’s the face of a young woman, Macie. She’s just out of school, he remembers from reading the reports of the approved reporters. She’d moved across the country for the job, leaving behind her family. And there she stands, crying as she completes her first solo news assignment. Macie is the last person he sees.

Waking up is unexpected and painful. He doesn’t, can’t open his eyes but he does have the sense of movement around him. Someone touches him but it burns and he can’t get away. They hold on tighter and the pain explodes as he fades back into unconsciousness.

How many times he wakes in partial awareness he doesn’t know. But he does have a fuzzy feeling which he attributes to heavy doses of drugs when he finally does wake with some level of greater awareness and no pain.

“Darius,” someone asks.

He mumbles something as he turns his head to try to find the speaker. His vision is fuzzy as he’s losing consciousness again but he thinks that it’s Grace and calls out to her. He feels her soft hand in his as he falls asleep.

They eventually tell him that’s it’s a full week after the incident before he wakes long enough to converse, though his mind remains muddled thanks to the drugs that he’s still on. Without them, he’d be in unbearable pain and plagued with seizures as the drug works its way out of his system. Still, he doesn’t like the fog that’s consumed his mind. It makes talking, thinking difficult and leaves him searching for words or pausing as he processes what’s been said. The others have helped a lot, especially Harris as he still is listed as a proxy for medical decisions. It was something done years ago when his Huntington’s diagnosis was first made and he let Harris know. The two had talked and Darius made him aware of his wishes for his last years.

“When can I get out of here,” he asks. He’s awake for at least a few hours at a time now and has been up on a few occasions, though his balance was off.

“The doctor said a few more days at least. She doesn’t want to send you home so drugged up,” Liam says. Once they saw that he was improving, they moved to a rotating schedule. Liam and Alycia are there most often given the flexibility of their schedules as department heads and CEOs in training.

“I’ll be fine. I just want out of here. Can’t you get Harris to override them?”

“Harris is refusing. You have to stay in here, Darius. You didn’t see what we did. You were lucky the dosages were wrong in that vial.” Liam leans back in his seat as he talks with Darius. The urgency of the past week has thankfully faded as Darius has stabilized and become more alert. It unfortunately also means that he’s itching to get out of the hospital.

“I’m not so sure about that.” Darius vividly recalls the pain.

“Would you rather be dead?”

Darius pauses for a moment as his mind drifts. Then, when he remembers what Liam said, he answers, “No, no, but this isn’t fun either.”

“I expect not, but at least Kyle and the others will have to answer for what they’ve done.”

“No… D…” Darius stumbles for his words. “Not their fault.”

“Not their fault? Darius, they tried to kill you and held that entire room hostage all because their loved ones committed suicide in the face of an asteroid and blamed you for it.”

“They are dis… dis…” Darius shakes his head, growling in frustration. Liam stays quiet, having learned that finishing Darius’ words only serves to aggravate him. “Dis’rauh’.” The word is slurred but Liam understands it.

“It doesn’t excuse their actions. And I know you don’t want to press charges, but it’s out of your hands. You are a former president and what they did was a serious crime.”

Darius sighs. He’s had this argument with Grace and Harris and both told him the same thing. Still, he can’t help but think that if he could just get out of here he’d be able to do something. They’ve kept him from any electronic devices save for the TV.

“You should get some more rest,” Liam says.

“That’s all I do.”

“You’re still recovering, Darius. It’s only been a couple days since you’ve been able to stay awake for more than a few minutes and not much more than that since we figured out how much pain you were in each time you woke up and got it managed. Just rest. Alycia and I have everything in order.”

“I know and I tr… trust you two.”

“But you’re a control freak,” Liam says.

Darius smiles. “Watch it.”

“Darius, rest. Everything is taken care of. Your only job is to, for once, look after your own health. If you’re not going to do it for your own sake, then do it for ours. I don’t think any of us could take seeing you hurting so much again.”

“Liam…”

“It was bad, Darius,” Liam interrupts him, concern clear in his voice and face, “and I don’t want to see it again.”

“Alright.” Darius finally gives in. “But I want to get out of here soon.”

“There aren’t any guarantees, Darius. But maybe in a few days if you behave. That means, eat and sleep when you need to. Okay?”

“Can you at least set up the TV so I can watch s… something more in… inter… better than soaps?” Darius can’t hide his frustration.

“Missing your Doctor Who?”

“I’m sure you can set some’ing up.”

“Between me and Alycia, I think we’ll be able to get you your fix. But you have to rest here.”

“It’s a deal.”

“Get some sleep then and I’ll start working with Alycia on what we can do.”

Liam texts with Alycia while watching Darius fall asleep. The man has been fighting sleep for much of the day, forcing himself to stay awake after dozing for an hour here or there. Though he’s recovering, the drugs and damage to his body make him tired and the doctors have warned that without proper rest Darius will face long-term consequences. Even with rest, there’s no guarantee that he won’t have some effects. Getting the man to sleep, though, is difficult. Still, the battle has been won for now and Liam has a promise to fulfill.

[mortvivanthqs-blog]

welcome to the outpost, violet lewis, we’re sure you’ll find the place accommodating. danielle campbell is now taken! please review our checklist and send in your account within twenty-four hours!

🡶 OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME: tee !

AGE: twenty-one.

TIMEZONE: aest (or gmt+10!!).

PRONOUNS: she/her.

🡶 IN CHARACTER:

NAME: violet lewis.

FACE CLAIM: danielle campbell.

GENDER & PRONOUNS: cis!female, she/her.

BIRTHDAY: june 19th, 1997.

BIRTHPLACE: seattle, washington.

JOBS: medic.

KILL COUNT: one (she considers her mother’s death her fault).

ANYTHING ELSE: klfdjs hello i have No self control thank u

🡶 BIOGRAPHY:

violet: unshrinking. she had always been a force of nature. relentless, iron-willed. she couldn’t be convinced the world wasn’t hers for the taking. the second of two children, violet was forever nipping at her older sister’s heels — desperate to be all grown up, big enough to walk and talk like the big kids. nine years her sister’s junior, violet had reason to feel left out. an accidental pregnancy, she was born into a family of ‘creatives’. her father a cartoonist, and her mother an art teacher. their household was rather unconventional; full of wind chimes, buckets of paint, crystals, and other miscellaneous ‘hippie crap’ — as violet so affectionately liked to call it. her parents were the softest kind of people, and that suited them well. but violet? violet was never soft.

the girl was remarkable. clever as the devil and twice as cunning, she spent her idle time outsmarting her parents and playing pranks on her older sister. she was a menace, in her younger years — but all she really craved was attention. attention from parents who, try as they may, just couldn’t relate to their youngest daughter. but violets older sister? oh, they doted on her. it was nobody’s fault, really. violet’s sister was a creative, just like their parents. whereas violet, she needed more mental stimulation. chewed up science textbooks for fun, spent hours down at the local natural history museum, and watched documentaries after school instead of cartoons. but to their credit, violet’s parents knew she was gifted. they did their best to keep up with her; but she was already leaps and bounds ahead.

violet didn’t keep many friends, as a child. kids at her school found her an easy target: bushy brows, strange parents, know-it-all tendencies. the latter was something she worked on improving, over the years, although the first two couldn’t be helped. over the years, violet taught herself how to brush it off — tried not to take things so personally. but years of trying to justify herself left her defensive, and suspicious of anyone being too overtly kind. in a word, you might call her pessimistic. but growing pains subsided, and she eventually grew out of her awkwarder of phases (thankfully). as she bloomed into her adolescence, violet even found herself gaining a little popularity — shock horror. after all, she was confident, intelligent, and as she would soon come to realise, beautiful. her latter years of high school were a breeze. she made friends, topped her classes, and kept her nose out of trouble. violet reasoned she didn’t have time for drinking, or boys, or partying. even at her parents insistence that she join in on the fun, she refused. after all, she was going to go to med school. she was going to be a doctor. that would be plenty fun enough for her.

after graduating high school, violet was offered a full ride to study medicine at one of the best universities in the country. she was born for this. so, never more eager to fly the nest, violet packed her bags and headed for baltimore. and that was it, she had made it: adulthood. out on her own for the first time, violet felt like she had the world at her feet. she was smart, and capable, and brilliant. perhaps a little sheltered, a little green – but tenacious none the less. she adored her studies, and devoted all her spare time to her school work. but her social life quickly fell by the wayside. violet failed to make herself new friends, never wanted to attend parties or social events, and the relationship with her family grew even more distant than before. she convinced herself she didn’t need anyone else — that she was her own best company. but deep down? violet was lonely. craved all those simple, normal things she missed out on when she was growing up; too busy trying to be brilliant. but still, she tried not to dwell. violet wasn’t overly fond of self-pity.

as it usually did, guilt dragged violet back to seattle for the weekend. she rarely visited, anymore. three years moved out, it often took several awkward calls from her mother to lure her back home. and washington was dismal, as far as violet was concerned. that’s what they got for living in one of the rainest cities in america. but, she would have to endure it for at least a few days, for the sake of her grandmother’s 95th birthday. violet spent most of the weekend locked away in her childhood bedroom, avoiding the festivities as best she could. even her older sister – who violet had once so adored and admired – was practically a stranger, by this point. she had expected the weekend to be one of the dullest of her life, but little did violet know, it would change her life forever.

everyone had heard the news reports. and violet found it fascinating, naturally. although, admittedly, she thought it was all a little silly — no doubt blown out of proportion. just like swine flu, and ebola, and all those other ‘pandemics’ that never came to be. it certainly didn’t scare her, that’s for sure. but then she got an email saying her flight back to maryland had been cancelled, in an attempt to quarantine the state. had things really gotten that bad? more so annoyed than anything, violet resigned herself to the fact that she would have to spend a few more days in her family home – ugh. but days turned to weeks, and things only escalated. still convinced it would all blow over, none of it felt real until martial law was declared. and all at once, things started to spiral. her parents insisted they bunker down and stay put, wait it out. but violet and her sister? for the first time in years, they agreed on something: they all needed to get the hell out of seattle. as chaos started enveloping the city, their window of opportunity started getting narrower and narrower; they needed to go. and so, finally, their parents agreed. and so, all four of them piled into an suv, and they headed east.

their first few weeks on the road were tough. finding food, clean water, encountering other survivors — survivors far more armed and able than they were. violet got her first few up close and personal encounters with the dead, the horror of which she found hard to comprehend. it was all so much, she kept hoping it was some nightmare she had dreamed up inside her head. but no, it was all too real. and violet, she wasn’t built for such a world. she didn’t know how to use a weapon, how to defend herself. hell, she’s 5′2″ for god’s sake — she was barely allowed to ride a rollercoaster, let alone handle a gun. violet could be harsh, and stubborn, and insensitive, but she certainly wasn’t violent. she wasn’t faint of heart, but the first time she put down a walker, she couldn’t stop herself throwing up. but the worst, unimaginably, was still to come.

first, they lost her mother. not to the undead, but to illness. a wound gone septic, violet did all she could. but they had no medicine, no clean water, no food. living amongst the dirt, and the rot of a dying world. violet blames herself, for not being able to save her mother — she’s sure her sister blames her, too. she was supposed to be the great big medical student, after all. if she could do nothing else, surely she could do this. but still, she couldn’t stop her mother from slipping away. her mother as well, was the first person violet saw turn. up until that point, she was convinced a person had to be bitten — that’s what they all thought, and yet. violet’s sister put her mother (or what was left of her) down, and they buried her somewhere peaceful. their father’s death came only three weeks later, his demise far quicker and more violent. caught amongst a horde, he got surrounded. all violet and her sister could do was flee, tear stained and trembling. after that, all they had left was each other. two against the world.

violet and her sister all but tore each other apart, those first few weeks on the road alone. so disagreeable, so set in their ways, compromise seemed impossible. and grieving, the both of them, in staggeringly different ways. violet on one hand, shut down. refused to talk about it, put on her toughest, bravest face; interrupted by the occasional outburst of emotion. whereas her sister grieved out loud — wanted to talk about it, needed a shoulder to cry on. incompatible to their core, seemingly. but still, despite the strain and the heartache, they loved each other; needed each other. what else did they have left, after all? half the battle was getting to know each other all over again. the people they had missed out on getting to know, during their years apart. tensions never entirely faded, but the pair managed to build a few bridges — eventually learning to tolerate each other’s company, even if only some of the time.

after spending time with a few small groups that quickly dissolved, the pair decided the only real option they had was to go it alone. after all, how were they supposed to trust anybody else, anymore? on this, violet and her sister both agreed: they would steer clear of other survivors at all costs. until that is, they met landon scott’s crew. caught amongst a swarm, violet and her sister were quickly losing control of the horde: overwhelmed. but suddenly, a small group flocked to their aid — no doubt saving their lives. to repay the debt, violet offered to help patch up on of the survivors that had been injured in the fight, which ended in her and her sister being brought back to the warehouse. it was a better established base than they had seen in months, and the group (as motley of a crew as they were) were clearly able. therein, they were offered a proposition: if you’re willing to work, you’re welcome to stay. and so, somewhat reluctantly, the pair agreed.

violet is no hardened survivor, nor was she built for such a world. but she’s determined, iron-willed, unwilling to fail. refusing to give up. she bottles her fears, of which there are plenty, and replaces her worry with a stoney facade. she can come off as cold, sometimes. blunt, sarcastic, unconcerned with pleasantries. but that’s the only way violet knows how to cope. if she is to survive, she needs to guard herself closely — maintain the ridged veneer. she knows her sister worries about her, wishes she would talk to her more, but violet is stubborn. she offers valuable assistance as a medic, but she still feels useless when it comes to fighting the undead. she’s learning, of course – teaching herself. one on one, she can take down a walker decently enough, but once they start grouping up? violet panics, gets overwhelmed. compared to some of the other, more skilled fighters amongst their ranks? she feels pathetic.

[travisandersondatingblog]

My HIV Story: The Diagnosis Came Upon Me like the Loosed Fires of War

*The following narrative is from one of our HIV-positive scholarship applicants. It has been minimally changed to remove any identifying information.*

After hitting rock bottom, I dug a little deeper just to be sure that there was nowhere to go but up. Thankfully I was right.

It was my sophomore year of college; I was studying Musical Theatre a University in New York City. My dreams were unfolding before my very eyes, and I was living the rockstar celebutante life I had always fantasized about. I had recently returned to school after performing on the first International Broadway Tour of an extremely notable tour*. It was an astounding year spent traveling to exotic destinations, living lavishly in exorbitant hotels, and falling in love with reckless abandon.

Yet, although I had just gotten the chance to live out my dreams, I found myself doused under the weight of a crippling depression. Upon returning to school, I was consumed by an unrelenting listlessness. 

I lived in a constant state of internal dissonance and paranoia. Making eye contact and engaging in meaningful communication became nearly impossible for me. 

I was empty and afraid.

While spiraling through the pains of guilt, ignorance, and shame, I became foolishly dedicated to my pain.

My grades fluctuated dramatically, and my relationships with those I cared about suffered immensely. Self-loathing seemed to be my only area of expertise – so I committed to it. 

I threw myself deeper into a dazzling abyss of toxicity that seemed to welcome me with empty promises. I began casually using drugs and engaging in risky sexual behaviors. This led to numerous abusive relationships wherein I continuously allowed myself to be taken advantage of by people who had no concern for my happiness or well-being, which didn’t bother me at the time because I didn’t either. 

He was a painter from Queens. His reputation was written in the scars all over his body. He was a wolf that didn’t bother to disguise himself in sheep’s clothing; he brazenly bared his teeth, and I fed him so eagerly. Our relationship was characterized by a tumultuous passion that consumed the both of us. We were enraptured in the dangerous storm we had created. I was addicted to the way that he would hurt me, and he became obsessed with seeing just how much I could take. It almost felt like love, but, in fact, it was the opposite.

Eventually, the abuse escalated and became physical. It became increasingly difficult for me to justify seeing him. As I gained perspective on the situation, I began to understand just how responsible I was for the situation I had gotten myself into, and how capable I was of getting myself out of it.

I left abruptly on an evening like any other. He was crying on his porch, and I got into a cab. That was it. My healing process took some time, but I slowly began to rediscover the person I always knew myself to be. I welcomed home all of the parts that I had almost left behind.

My health and well-being became my top priority. I started working out regularly and making healthy choices in my diet and relationships. I could sense my life improving incrementally in significant ways. It had been a few months since I’d gotten a regular check-up with my doctor, so I made an appointment at my university’s health center to make sure everything was in working order. That’s when I got the news that I had contracted HIV.

The diagnosis came upon me like the loosed fires of war. As I sat in the examination chair, a complete loss for words came over me. My lungs became heavy like lead, and tears violently erupted from my eyes. I got out my phone to call a close friend and I trembled as I choked out the news. This assembly of moments seemed to last an eternity. I became hollow. The nurse left the room while I sobbed harder than I had ever known was possible. 

Then, all at once, the feeling of sheer emptiness was flooded with an outpouring of anxiety. A million questions raced through my mind about treatment, expenses, my sex life, and my social life. Would I be an outcast for the rest of my life? How will I ever feel happy again? Will I get sick and have no quality of life? My head clamored beneath the weight of these worries eclipsing the strength I had once known.

It seemed that life itself became out of my reach, and suddenly I was so small. Painstakingly, I began taking the necessary steps towards getting treatment. Although I was overwhelmed, I was determined to rectify the situation and reclaim my dignity. I endured months of difficult communication with my family, doctors, and insurance companies. The complications from dealing with the logistics of relocating and rebuilding my life from scratch challenged me to discover an inner resilience that sustained me through this challenging time. Soon after, I was able to start a consistent treatment regimen.

I am happy to say that I currently have an undetectable viral load, my body is healthy, and my spirit is thriving. I am blessed to have convenient access to the necessary treatments and medical care that I need. I have an immense amount of love and gratitude to my friends and family whose support has sustained me through the difficulties I was faced with. I am the healthiest I have ever been. I live out my dreams each day with the utmost joy, humility, and appreciation. My zeal for life cannot be tamed. As I continue to grow in wisdom and unconditional love, I share the abundance of my blessings with those around me. I have become the light I had always wished to see in the world.

Becoming HIV positive was a necessary wake up call. It was the announcement that my life was about to become much more deeply whole. I learned to become enamored with myself. I found pride and pleasure in my own strength. No longer would I seek validation from banal infatuations, or look outside of myself for the love that I deserve.

My diagnosis illuminated the parts of myself that I was afraid to embrace, and enabled me to welcome them with unconditional love. As I started taking my medications, I chose to cultivate a healthier lifestyle for myself. I began practicing yoga and meditation as ways to heal my relationship with myself and destroy harmful patterns of thinking and behaving. I have an intrinsic knowledge of my self-worth, which allows me to see beauty and truth in all aspects of life.

Since learning about my status, I have blossomed. Out of the darkest season of my life has come an inner peace and unshakable happiness that is now the foundation of my life. The kinships that I share with my friends and families have deepened immensely. I feel supported and understood by those close to me as I have learned to brave life with compassionate honesty, integrity, and openness. This experience did not change me; it liberated me.

To those living without HIV, I would most importantly like to assure them that my diagnosis does not make me special or different. I am not dirty, nor am I afraid. This diagnosis is merely one aspect of my life. It does not define me as a human being, and it certainly does not dictate how I live my life. I am still fearless, and I am strong. I am still the electric social butterfly that I have always been, and the journey of my life continues to unfurl in beautiful ways. I am grateful to have learned how to practice self-love and discovered how to live a joyful life.

I aspire to inspire others by my example and hope to equip them with a sense of personal power. In continuing my avowal, I encourage everyone to use condoms whenever they may have a sexual encounter. It’s so easy, and they will allow you to enjoy having a healthy sex life without worry of complications, unwanted pregnancies, and STDs. Furthermore, if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship – get out of it. Leave. It’s that simple. You deserve better. Give yourself the gift of growth, even when it’s difficult.

All that I am left with is my gratitude. Every person who has shown me love has deeply impacted my life. Every doctor and nurse who has communicated with me and helped me throughout this process has been a blessing. Every day that is filled with sunshine, laughter, and ease reminds me of how wonderful life is, and how fortunate I am to be living it. My thankfulness is endless.

The post My HIV Story: The Diagnosis Came Upon Me like the Loosed Fires of War appeared first on STD Exposed - Sexual Health Blog.

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