#gold tried to soothe him but he also knew it was a losing game. no way red would be calm until the baby was safe in his arms

[multishipper-baby]

This is pretty dark but with the whole health issues and complications, I like to think there was a moment (even if only a brief one) where baby Deya wasn't breathing when she was just born and it was horrifying for everyone.

[mehbzz]

This is an attempt at some A/B/O fanfic for the chocobros, highly completely inspired by  @weebsinstash They have an isekai reader dropped into A/B/O Insomnia AU that is just amazing and I love it. Actually I love all their thirst ideas! If you like yandere/abo/any other darkcontent stuff, I highly recommend their blog. Their Hazbin Hotel Valentino stuff recently has been gold. I’m not a very good writer, but this fantasy has been stuck in my brain for weeks, so I had a go! It’s at a point where the bros have gone for gently pushing over reader’s boundaries to pretty much trampling all over them. It ends abruptly because I suck at endings! Female reader, 3some, A/B/O, smutty, control issues, dubcon (reader is going into like a pre-heat)  and yandere/possessive vibes.

You had been starving for the past 2 days. Despite Ignis giving you extra portions at dinner you still felt like you hadn’t eaten. The hunger pains and the occasional cramps had you more irritable than normal, snapping at the boys more often than not. The secret conversations and the glances when they thought you weren’t looking along with their smothering attention was also not helping your mood. Their attention was overwhelming at the best of times but the past few weeks had almost been unbearable. You still didn’t fully understand the implications and physical changes you were going through now that your status as an omega had been discovered, you just knew you hated it. Ignis was doing his best to explain things to you, he had spent more time talking with the doctor than you had, it had been a relief when he stepped in and offered to be your proxy when the explanations and questions had started getting too much.

The way the boys were treating you had changed, subtly at first but lately it was like living with babysitters 24/7. The constant physical contact had been hard to get used to, but now was even worse. Although to Noctis’ and Prompto’s credit they had backed off a little recently. All in all you were having a miserable few days. You knew deep down they were trying to help you, that this was, as they kept telling you, normal for them, but you were tired, hungry and frustrated. It was hard to think straight, and you wanted. That was the most frustrating thing, a deep gnawing want in your gut that you didn’t understand. You didn’t know what you wanted. Just that the fact you didn’t have it made you feel like crying.

You needed to sleep. You sighed; closing your eyes, as soon as you did you regretted it. With your eyes closed your senses focused on the scents swirling and mixing around your head, threatening to give you a headache. You had learnt to tell them apart, Noctis a lemony and sweet scent that reminded you of soda, and Prompto a soft floral scent. Ignis and Gladio seemed to fluctuate and mould together, a heady mix of lime, lilies and wood smoke, it was harder to distinguish them beyond the fact that they smelled really good. Ignis had retired to the tent a while ago and Noctis and Prompto were obviously going to be up for a while longer with the way they were still animatedly bickering over some handheld game Noct was playing. You could feel Gladio watching you intently from his chair on the opposite side of the small bonfire as you stood and made your way to the tent.

The t-shirt Gladio had lent you reached almost to your knees, and made a good nightshirt. Clothes were another thing that had made your list of irritations recently. Ignis had explained to you before that finding clothes to fit you while they were out was difficult and that all 4 of them were happy to lend you things until you returned to Insomnia, and you were grateful for that. However it was just another thing that you couldn’t choose for yourself, another thing the boys had somehow gained control of.

You curl up behind Ignis and are not surprised when Gladio joins you not long after. You hear him remove his jacket and lay down behind you. “You ok?” His question doesn’t shock you, despite your annoyance with the situation, you couldn’t deny the fact that Gladio and Ignis tried very hard to make sure you were looked after and comfortable even if the way they did it was overbearing at times. The urge to cry returns and you shake your head, not trusting yourself to speak. He sighs and scoots closer wrapping his arm lightly around your waist. “You’ll be ok” he whispers and despite your whirling emotions, you believe him, relaxing into his hold. “I got you”

It’s cosy, with Gladio wrapped around you and Ignis napping in front of you, their scents invading your lungs, lulling you into a calm contented mood. Even the low distant chatter from Noctis and Prompto is helping sooth you. For a while you just lay there, snug in Gladio’s arms, not quite dozing as his thumb strokes softly along the inside of your wrist. You can’t quite remember why you were so irritated before, although the unnamed want is still there, fizzing in your veins with every swirl of Gladio’s thumb, making you feel restless.

The warmth of his bare chest seeps through your thin nightshirt, it’s comforting and against your better judgement you feel yourself arching backwards slightly in to his touch. “You smell good” you murmur head tilting backward to run your nose lightly against his jaw. Gladio tenses and you think you have done something wrong, crossed one of those alpha/omega lines that they are always trying to teach you about, before he relaxes around you, arm curling tighter around your waist. “So do you baby” he nuzzles into the side of your neck. Your head lolls back; turning your face towards him you take a deep breath, inhaling his scent. He rumbles in response, a low deep vibration that sends a surprising shiver of arousal through you. He liked that. For some reason you like that, and without thinking you run your nails gently up his forearm as you inhale again.

He shifts closer and lets you nuzzle against his cheek. Another low rumble of approval and you realize with a start that you can feel his cock hard and heavy against the back of your thigh. He doesn’t give you chance to move before he is tilting your head further to the side so he can run his tongue runs across your neck inhaling you in return as he does. You squirm, trying to resist the urge to grind back against him; a sudden rush of panic that this was suddenly escalating way too fast. You open your mouth to protest but he shushes you, another calming rumble from deep in his chest, his hand spreading under your shirt across your ribs to tug you flush against him “Relax Omega,” he presses soft fluttery kisses over the shell of your ear “Let your alpha take care of you”. You hate that, hate it when they call you Omega instead of your name but this time, with Gladio pressed against you, his voice low and gravelly in your ear, it has you biting back a moan and your pussy clenching hard around nothing. “You like that? Being my omega?” You surprise yourself with the annoyed growl that escapes your throat at the title again but it quickly dissolves into a whimper when Gladio nips hard at the lobe of your ear in retaliation. “Behave”. The command tugs at something in your chest but all it does it make you press your thighs together, desperately trying to find some relief to the growing ache in your core. You are rapidly losing control of your thoughts, the part of you that had been wilfully pushing back against their attentions succumbing to the pheromones and desire filling the tent. You’re embarrassingly wet; you can feel it soaking through your panties to trickle down your thighs. Gladio’s next inhale has his breath hitching and a low growl escaping the back of his throat, sending another wave of desire through you and another trickle of wetness down your thighs. “Knew it,” he mutters against your neck “knew it was your heat”. You’re not sure what he means but you don’t care, you just need him to touch you. His hand rests against your abdomen, stroking the band of your panties but going no further despite the pleas falling from your lips. Gladio is moving slowly, grinding his cock gently against you. His breathing is fast and shallow against your neck and his kisses are more teeth, scraping gently over the crook of your neck. You moan quietly, trying your hardest to be quiet, to not disturb Ignis sleeping in front of you. “Say it baby, ask you alpha to touch you” “please” you say it immediately, a desperate whine but he doesn’t move. “Please, Alpha” he repeats, finger dipping ever so slowly beneath the waistband.

“Gladio” you respond, this time your growl is louder and the irritation in your tone obvious, your frustration getting the better of you He chuckles at your attempt at dominance, “I knew you’d be a brat” he nips hard again on your ear “going to enjoy working that out of you later” he hums as he slides his hand under the waistband of your panties to stroke gently over your clit. “I’ll be lenient this time” The needy whine that escapes you when he touches you is embarrassingly loud, and you barely register the way Ignis’ shoulders tense at the sound, his scent growing stronger around you, mixing with Gladio’s until you feel like you are drowning in them. “We should stop, I don’t…” your words are breathless, brain feeling sluggish but he doesn’t stop. “Ig…” your words cut off with a hiss as Gladio presses hard against your clit, “He won’t mind baby, he likes to watch”

“Fuck,” he hisses, “you’re so wet for me” Letting his fingers swirl down teasing your entrance before sliding out of your panties completely to tug them further down your thighs. “Off” it’s another command, more a growl than a word and you comply instantly, only just kicking them off round your ankle before he is hooking your leg over his calf and his fingers are back against your clit. His teeth rake across the sensitive skin of your neck and the sudden desire to have him closer has you tilting your head further to the side, giving him more access. The sharp edges of his teeth press harder at your skin and you can’t stop the plea for more that escapes you. You’re not even sure what it is you are asking for, only that you want it so badly it hurts.

“Gladiolus” The tone is sharp, reprimanding and you shrink a little at hearing it, even though you know it’s not directed at you. Gladio huffs but moves away from your neck with a petulant “what?” Ignis scent is strong, his eyes almost completely black as his gaze follows the line of Gladio’s arm down to where it rests between your thighs. You shiver in response, nipples hardening and peaking through your t-shirt, your body responding to the alpha in front of you. “She’s going into heat,” Gladio says, his fingers not stopping the soft little circles around your clit. “She needs us” Ignis’ eyes slide up over your face before his gaze returns between your legs. He takes a long inhale, breathing in your scent as he watches Gladio stroke you.

Ignis shifts closer, his warm hand reaching out to rest on your hip before sliding up under your t-shirt to cup your breast, his thumb gently caressing over your nipple. “Is that right darling? You need us? You want your alphas to take care of you?” His hand slowly sliding back down your body to join Gladio’s between your thighs and inhales again “You smell divine, darling. So wet and desperate for us.” His finger follows Gladio’s as they both swirl gently around your clit before he strokes through your folds to gently push inside you. The groan that escapes him has you clenching hard around him “So tight darling, you would take our cocks so well”. Your moan is eclipsed by Gladio’s as his hips start to rock against you again. “Would you like that?” Ignis continues, “Letting us knot you darling? Letting us fill you with our cum?” He sighs “Letting us breed you?” Gladio moans loud against your ear at that and grinds his hips harder against you. You see Ignis’ lips twitch slightly in a barely concealed smile and you wonder briefly if the dirty talk is aimed at you or Gladio before Ignis slips another finger inside you and you momentarily forget how to breathe. Between Ignis’ and Gladio’s expert touches you feel yourself racing quickly towards your peak. Ignis’ gaze keeps flicking between watching your face and back down between your legs, the clear approval on his face as you fuck yourself on his fingers makes you feel incredibly proud. “Will you cum for us?” he breathes out, sliding closer to brush his lips over yours as he speaks. You open your mouth to reply but instead Ignis kisses you hard, his tongue slipping into your mouth as his fingers flex and stroke inside you. You’re so close. Everything about them is overwhelming, sandwiched between them their presence smothers every thought except the desperate need to cum.  Ignis’ fingers press deep, coaxing you towards orgasm in perfect time with Gladio’s rough caress across your clit. You feel drunk on their pheromones, you know full well Noctis and Prompto can hear everything perfectly with their enhanced hearing, from the way you are shamelessly grinding back against Gladio’s cock to the lurid wet sounds between your legs as you fuck yourself on Ignis’ fingers, but you don’t care. “Cum for us omega” Ignis repeats, sounding breathless but otherwise his usual calm collected self. He curls a third finger inside you, and it's almost too much, but the painful stretch pushes you closer to orgasm. Gladio’s moans and growls against your ear are almost as loud as yours. He’s rutting against you now, forcing Ignis’ fingers deeper with each rough thrust against your ass. “Cum for your alphas baby” The command in his voice is undeniable, so you do. Back arching, your orgasm flooding through you so hard you see stars. Clenching and convulsing hard around Ignis fingers you clutch at his shoulders, a desperate need to anchor yourself as his fingers fuck you through the aftershocks.  You want him closer, you need him closer. Burying your face into the side of his neck, the guttural moan that escapes him as you dig your teeth into his shoulder almost pushing you over the edge again. Gladio’s hand leaves your clit to grip harshly over your breast, a grip you know is going to leave bruises, and you distantly think it would hurt if you weren’t so lost in your post orgasm haze. He ruts against you hard once before he growls loud, hips stuttering as he cums in his pants, body flush against yours, mumbled praises of good girl, good omega whispered into your hair as he slowly comes down from his high. Ignis brushes his lips over yours in a gentle kiss before he slides his fingers from your pussy with a quiet groan. “Lemme taste” Gladio’s voice is strained, his words slightly slurred, and you feel a fresh wave of arousal as you watch Gladio suck Ignis’ fingers in to his mouth with a greedy moan. You feel the shudder from Ignis as Gladio swirls his tongue around Ignis’ slick coated fingers. “You taste so good baby,” he groans as your taste floods across his tongue, “can’t wait to taste you properly”

The whine that escapes your throat as Gladio finally pulls away has him grinning, “Relax baby, I’ll be right back. Need to grab something to clean up.” He pushes you forward towards Ignis before standing and slipping out of the tent.

“It’s ok darling, I’ve got you.” coos Ignis. He looks at you and gently brushes a lock of hair away from your face, a soft smile forming on his lips. “You did so well,” he presses a kiss to your forehead, “Such a good little omega for us.” You can’t find it in yourself to be annoyed by the title this time. You feel exhausted and the praise feels good. You snuggle closer, a happy purr involuntarily slipping out of your chest that has Ignis responding to in kind. He kisses your shoulder, lips trailing up over your neck before he shifts to lie back down on the sleeping bag, pulling you to rest against his chest. The whispered and murmured praises of how proud he is of you, and how they will look after you when your heat properly hits sift lazily through your mind, the word ‘claim’ makes something in your chest leap a little with a mixture of dread and excitement, but you’re too lost in your hazy exhausted state to really understand what Ignis is saying. You feel good, deliciously sore, your breast still aching slightly from Gladio’s grip but you feel happy. “Is she purring??” You can hear the surprise in Gladio’s voice when he returns, but you can’t find the energy to respond. Already half asleep the effort needed to correct him is too much. People don’t purr, you can’t purr. However the warmth radiating of Gladio as he sits back down behind you coaxes a sleepy happy little chirp from you and you feel rather than hear Ignis’ slight chuckle. “Where’d she bite?” Gladio’s voice is quiet, you struggle to hear it and although you feel Ignis chest rumble with his reply you can’t make out the words. Did you hurt him? “pity, would’ve been easier,” he pauses, “she won’t be happy about this tomorrow, y’ know” Gladio’s voice is a quiet, odd mixture of guilty and happy but Ignis doesn’t reply beyond a low hum of acknowledgment and the slow beat of his heart as he falls asleep lulls you gently into a doze. That annoying little purr slips from your chest again in satisfaction. “You’re cute when you purr omega” Gladio’s voice is smug in your ear and your sleepy annoyed growl in response only makes him laugh quietly. “Brat” He whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to your ear before he finally settles down behind you, arm sliding back around your waist.

[smaidjor]

and i pay for my place by the ring (Chapter 1)

Hey guys! Welcome to another angsty fic by yours truly, provider of flower husbands pain.

Some things you should know before you jump into this:

1. This is a companion fic to my fic "i know they're losing". You can understand it without having read the other one, since it's the same story from two different POVs but I think the overall experience is better with both!

2. The overall title of each fic is from the mitski song I bet on losing dogs. Chapter titles are from the Last Goodbye from the Hobbit films.

3. There is a lot of lord of the rings lore in both fics, and I mean a lot. You may be kinda confused if you've never read tolkien's works. It will all be explained eventually, though!

4. With the fact that it's a companion fic and a lot of people came here from Jimmy's POV in mind- this is a lot heavier of a fic. The content warnings are heavier and the angst is more intense. You have been warned.

(Obligatory disclaimer that this is about characters, not ccs, and do not ship real people, as always!)

Chapter Title: to these memories i will hold

Chapter Wordcount: 4000

Content warnings: suicidal thoughts, self-esteem issues, panic attacks, past death, very frank discussion of death. (In general, if suicide or death are triggering topics for you, this is probably not the fic for you. Stay safe and take care of yourself!)

AO3

Actual fic under the cut:

Scott didn’t expect to survive 3rd life. No one did, he thinks, but especially not him. Clever, clever Scott, who knew his fate too well for his own good. He could have chosen his allies carefully, he knows, could have played on their emotions to make them think he was loyal until the moment he turned on them to win. He knew who the strongest factions and warriors were, the most cunning and intelligent participants in this death game they were forced into. Instead, he chose Jimmy. Sweet, dopey Jimmy, who had the personality of a golden retriever and only a handful of braincells at any given time. Jimmy, who was worth more than all the stars in the sky to him. Who made him feel alive . No, Scott didn’t expect to win. Not when it was Jimmy by his side- when it was Jimmy by his side, winning didn’t matter. All that mattered was Jimmy’s blush when Scott pressed a kiss to his cheek, the way his hair looked like gold in the sunlight and his smile lit up Scott’s whole world.

After Jimmy died, Scott stopped wanting to survive 3rd life. What was the point? The stars can shine on without the sun, but all life on Earth would wither and die. The same happened to Scott’s broken, bitter heart, he found. Jimmy was the first person in years to love him truly, wholly, with no strings attached; it was terrifying how quickly Scott fell for the first person to look at him and not expect him to be anything but what he was. Scott’s world, which used to be mountain peaks and endless blue sky, narrowed to warm brown eyes and a grin like sunshine quicker than he could comprehend. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, it all came back to him. What was Scott without Jimmy? The unwanted twin, the unloved child, the un-elven elf. Because who cared if he was a good shot with a bow or good at organizing teams or building pretty little houses? He would always be second-born, second-best.

It was fitting, really, that when Scott died, he died alone. Some might find it ironic that the man who knew enough people to fill the roster of a championship held by a god every month died without a single person to witness it save his enemies, but in the end, it was always going to be like this, Scott knew. He hadn’t been there to see Jimmy die, he hadn’t been able to hold him in his final moments and soothe the agony of death. Maybe this was his punishment. He wouldn’t be surprised; the gods of this world did not smile on him and never would. Why should they, when he had failed the only person who had ever found him good enough?

When he woke up in Rivendell, he was almost disappointed. Almost. He considered ditching the rest of the elves, up and leaving to somewhere that didn’t make it feel like the noose of immortality was slowly tightening around his neck. If nothing else, Noxite would let him crash at the MCC server for a bit until he found somewhere to go. And yet, in the end, Scott’s stubborn sense of duty won out. The elves needed a ruler. Xornoth had disappeared to god knows where, and though they had been braver, wiser, better in every way, Scott was the one who had stayed. Who was willing to take up the crown that weighed so heavily on its bearers. So Scott, who no one ever expected to rule, took up the burden of leadership.

Now, he tries and fails to get out of bed and wonders what the point of that even was. He’s fading, and worse than that, he’s fading over a human. His ancestors are probably rolling in their graves. Rivendell will be leaderless within a decade, and this time there are no heirs to take control. Not even a ‘spare’ like Scott used to be. What a mess.

There are footsteps on the stairs. They’re unfamiliar, meaning they could be a threat, but he’s too tired to bother sitting up. If he dies, well- it’s inevitable, really, in the same way watching the mortals he loves dies is.

The person comes around the corner, and Scott realizes with no joy that he won’t be dying today after all. Katherine looks both curious and concerned, but her voice tilts towards the latter when she asks “Scott?” and then, more hesitantly  “Lord Smajor?”

He blinks at her, exhausted. “Hi, Katherine.”

“I came to talk to you about some empires stuff, but, I mean, if this is a bad time, I can come back later…?” She sounds so thrown off by his state that Scott almost feels bad.

Whatever it is, it must be important if she’s come all the way here, though, so he gestures her to a chair. “No, no, stay. I can muster the energy for a meeting, just don’t ask me to get up.”

Katherine takes the seat. “I came to talk about the corruption on the server, but- are you okay? Are you sick?”

Nothing about the question is funny in any way, but Scott laughs regardless. “In a way, yes.”

“What do you mean?”

“Take my hand.” He offers it out, knowing the unnatural cold is unsettling no matter if you’re elven or not. Katherine does as he asks, the concern on her face only growing as she grips his icy hand.

“Elves don’t get sick like mortals do,” Scott explains. “Nor do we die of old age. But we get...heartsickness, you might call it. We call it fading in our tongue- the cold hands are a symptom of that. Our souls are fragile, and the grief of the mortal plane can be overwhelming. If an elf is too struck by it, they fade away and die.” The words taste bitter on his tongue, a frank reminder of the slow and painful death that awaits him.

Katherine gasps, and Scott knows he’s alarmed her.

He goes on, though. “It usually happens to old elves, world-weary.” Ironic, it’s ironic that he’s saying that as a young elf explaining his own death. “Those who are tired of existence. But any elf who has experienced enough grief is at risk.”

Her face is nothing short of horrified. “You’re- fading? But doesn’t it usually happen to old elves? Wait, are you old?”

“I’m fifty-five.”

“Is that old?”

He has to laugh. “Fifty is the elven equivalent of eighteen for humans, the age of maturity.” Though he feels so much older than that, both in elven terms and in human.

“Oh.”

There’s a moment of silence, then, “How can you be so calm if you’re dying?”

“I’m tired, Katherine. The world tore me away from the people I loved, and..I’m tired of fighting it.” He’s so, so exhausted. So sick of having to claw and scrape and struggle for the barest scraps of happiness.

“Is there a way to reverse fading- to fix it?” Katherine sounds so hopeful that the question seems almost naive even though she’s far more capable of a ruler than he is. Naive in the affairs of elves, maybe, much as she’s intelligent in so many other ways.

Scott tries not to flinch at the innocent inquiry, thinking about the deaths from fading that he’s watched. “Technically, yes. If an elf recovers enough emotionally, it’s reversible. But whatever caused them to fade the first time can- and often does- cause it again.” And again, and again, until there’s nothing to be done but let them die , he finishes in his head.

Katherine nods, a look of determination overtaking the hope. “We’ll just have to reverse it, then.”

“That’s sweet, Katherine, but I’m dying.”

“No. You’re not going to die. Now come on, you can show me your empire while I fill you in on what’s happening on the rest of the continent.” She sounds so firm that he doesn’t dare disobey, though his exhaustion makes a fair effort at convincing him to. Will this really fix anything? Unlikely. But it’s worth it to try, if only to humor Katherine. At least this way she’ll have the comfort of having tried to save him when he inevitably fades away into nothing

Scott takes her hand, though it brings him little warmth, cold from her trek here. “Alright.” He swallows the bitter grief in his throat before it can seep into his words. “We can try.”

He leads Katherine around Rivendell, taking some pride in the way she oohs over the decor. If there’s one thing he can do right, it’s building. While some elven rulers might see it as below themselves to help build houses for their citizens, Scott finds building soothing. It’s one of the few skills he picked up during his time away that people really appreciate; no one wants to live in a shitty house.

As they walk, she also tells Scott about the demon, Xornoth. “The demon’s already visited a lot of people, I think. Gem and Shubble for sure, and Fwhip and Sausage. That’s not even mentioning the corruption that’s been spreading.”

If Scott said that the name Xornoth didn’t make him flinch, he would be lying to himself. It’s not your sibling , he tells himself. It’s just a coincidence .

It’s through the virtue of years of lying that his voice comes out steady. “There’s corruption in Rivendell too. Likely Xornoth’s work. And given that Jimmy still has Vilya-” his heart doesn’t ache when he says Jimmy’s name, it doesn’t- “well, I haven’t been able to do much.”

“Vilya?” Katherine asks.

“A ring of power. My inheritance from the Noldor.”

“Why does Jimmy have it?”

He doesn’t answer. He won’t- can’t talk about Jimmy, not without remembering how he looked with an arrow through his throat, bright smile gone and face frozen in fear. How does he explain how much Jimmy meant to him? How much he’s now giving up, knowing he’ll have to lose it one way or another?

Katherine drops the topic, seemingly sensing that she’s stumbled on something sensitive. When she has to go home, she leaves with a friendly goodbye and a promise to visit, and Scott believes neither. Who would put the effort into visiting him? He’s not a good friend, he’s not a good king, and god knows he’s not a good husband. In fact, he’s actively avoiding his husband. He may have kept the pufferfish Jimmy gave him, but that doesn’t mean anything. He can’t fall in love with Jimmy again. Loving Jimmy will kill him. (Scott ignores the small voice at the back of his head that whispers that he’s still in love with Jimmy and it’s already killing him just as he always knew it would.)

To his surprise, Katherine does come back next week, and the week after that. He’s ashamed to admit it, but there’s some part of him that’s pathetically grateful when she shows up at his doorstep. It’s a chance to not be alone . Much as he dreads the day when she finally gives up on him, it’s nice that someone cares enough to try and save him from himself.

The third week, Katherine doesn’t show up. Instead, the footsteps on the stairs are familiar in a way that makes Scott’s heart twist painfully.

He takes a deep breath. “Hello, Jimmy.”

“How’d you know it was me?” Jimmy asks. Scott can tell he’s startled by the way his voice goes up, almost frightened.

Scott steels himself, taking a deep breath before rolling over to face his ex-husband. “Do you think I could ever forget the sound of your footsteps?” He forces himself to not get distracted staring at Jimmy, instead going on before Jimmy can open his mouth. “What are you doing here?”

“Katherine asked me to visit, I’m not sure why, but...here I am. Say, why is she visiting every week?” Jimmy’s so curious. So naive, as always.

Scott laughs, bitter. “Katherine thinks she can save me.”

“Save you from what?”

Scott hears the concern in Jimmy’s words, and he can’t bring himself to break the news. It’s not as if it matters. It’s not as if Jimmy would care; he came here because of Katherine. Maybe he cared at the start of Empires, but Scott’s been nothing but rude to him since. There’s no reason for him to care. (He cares. Scott’s lying, like always. Jimmy cares and Scott knows it.)

“Save you from what?” Jimmy asks again, more insistently.

He refuses to say it. He needs Jimmy out, out of his room and out of his life before he does something he’ll regret. “You should go.” To prove his point, he tries to stand, finding himself too dizzy to quite pull it off. Jimmy rushes to catch him, and Scott hates himself just a little for how that still gives him a warm feeling.

“Scott, what is going on?”

He brushes Jimmy off, letting go of his arm and hurrying for the stairs. He can’t let Jimmy work his way into his heart again; Scott won’t be strong enough to let him go this time.

“Scott, seriously! Answer me, are you okay? What’s happening?” Jimmy sounds almost angry, but Scott can hear the distress under it and that’s what breaks him.

“I’m fading, alright?” His voice nearly breaks at the concern on Jimmy’s face when he whirls to face him. “I’m dying, now leave me alone!”

Jimmy sputters, seemingly caught off guard. “You- what- but elves don’t die, right?”

“We do. From poison, from swords-” Scott thinks back to third life- “from arrows through the throat, from grief.” The words come out more raw than he intends, leaving him scrambling to recover his composure. He takes a deep breath in and out, forcing his voice to steady again. “Come on. If you’re not going to leave, I might as well show you around.”

“You can’t just drop something like that on a man, you know!” Jimmy calls after him, although Scott can hear his footsteps following as well.

“You did ask, to be fair.” Scott replies. His voice is calm. He’s fine.

“I guess so, but- but still, dude.”

Scott pushes open the side door, holding it for Jimmy. “Here.”

Jimmy nods and slips through the door.  “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Scott starts towards the bridges, intending to show Jimmy the enchanting tower and then the door. He doesn’t care about how fast he’s walking, Jimmy can keep up. He’s taller than Scott and probably has better balance at the moment too. Scott’s struggling not to fall, honestly, but his pride won’t let him go slower.

Jimmy breaks the awkward silence with the question Scott least wants to hear. “So, uh..are we going to talk about 3rd life?”

“No,” Scott says firmly.

“Why not? We need to talk about it some time-”

“I said no .” He can’t talk about it.

“It’s literally killing you to not talk about it!”

The words strike right at the raw wound of Jimmy’s death, and Scott freezes. Inhales. Exhales. Tries to keep calm.

“Tell me I’m wrong, Scott!” Jimmy cries. He sounds so upset, Scott’s heart aches. “I dare you, tell me I’m wrong! Tell me you never cared about me, tell me you didn’t bother to bury me, tell me it didn’t hurt even a little when I died! Tell me I was just stupid little Jimmy, a toy for an elf who’d live far beyond my lifespan! Tell me whatever, just tell me the truth! ”

Scott takes a deep breath. “Fine. You want to know what happened after you died?” He can’t think straight through the rage clouding his head, the desperate need to prove that Jimmy’s wrong , that Scott loved him so much it’s killing him. “You want to hear about me screaming until my throat went raw? You want to know that I kissed your face and sobbed and begged you to wake up, over and over until I couldn’t speak at all? You want to live with the knowledge that Grian had to physically pull me away from your body? Is that what you want to hear, Jimmy? ” His voice damn near breaks on his husband’s name, and Scott thanks the gods he stopped believing in a long time ago that it doesn’t.

“No,” Jimmy says. His voice is soft, gentle, almost as if Scott is a wounded animal that needs a delicate touch. “That’s not what I want to hear, not at all. I’d rather you be happy than love me.”

The words punch the air from Scott’s lungs, raw and soft and real. Scott is an excellent liar. Jimmy isn’t. Scott knows that Jimmy is telling the truth. What he doesn’t know is how to handle that level of devotion. He wonders again how Jimmy- sweet, genuine Jimmy who wears his heart on his sleeve and is hopelessly devoted to an elf who can’t be fully his- chose Scott of all people. Scott, who’s as bitter as Jimmy is sweet, who’s sarcastic and snarky and hasn’t been good enough for just about anything in his life. He certainly wasn’t good enough to save Jimmy, Scott thinks bitterly.

He shakes off the thought. “I buried you on the hill above our houses. I planted a poppy over your grave.”

“Oh.”

“Grian came over the next day. I didn’t want to see anyone who wasn’t you, but I let him in because I had to. He helped me do the straps on my armor and asked me if he could do anything else to make things easier. I told him to bury me next to you.”

“Did he?”

Scott almost laughs at the innocent question. “How would I know? Grian was honorable enough, though, loyal to his allies. I like to think he did.”

“He was a good guy,” Jimmy agrees. “A little bit bloodthirsty, I guess, but good. I don’t suppose he survived any better than the rest of us, though maybe being bloodthirsty helped.”

“Maybe.”

“Can I- can I ask you why you hate me so much now?” Jimmy’s tone is uncertain, hesitant and it hurts . “I mean, if you mourned me in third life and all.”

Scott looks away from his earnest gaze, but he can’t stop the truth slipping out. “I don’t hate you.”

“You don’t?” Jimmy asks, seemingly bewildered. “But you burned the pufferfish-”

“I didn’t. I kept it.” Scott doesn’t want to think about this, wants to say it even less. “I never hated you. I don’t think I’m capable of it.”

“Then why do you keep avoiding me?”

“I’ve been kind of busy dying,” Scott says wryly, unable to resist a bit of morbid humor at his own expense.

“Scott! That’s not funny!”

“It was a little funny.”

“No!”

Jimmy sounds genuinely distressed, and Scott drops the wry smile. “Jimmy, I’m an elf. I won’t live far beyond you, but only because I’ll fade without you.” It’s a simple statement. The truth, as much as he can give.

“So your solution is to isolate yourself and fade now?” Jimmy’s outrage is justifiable, but Scott just shrugs.

“It does sound stupid when you put it like that, doesn’t it?” It really does. “But I lost you once, and I don’t think I could bear it again.”

A hand lands on Scott’s arm, and he turns, startled. Jimmy doesn’t give him time to react, throwing his arms around Scott and pulling him close. Scott almost lets out a very undignified squeak at the sudden contact, though he slowly relaxes into Jimmy’s hold.

He should pull away. He shouldn’t give Jimmy false hope like this. But Jimmy is so warm , and Scott is so unbearably cold. Every fiber of his being is screaming that this is what’s right; screw Rivendell and obligations and too-heavy crowns, Jimmy is home to him. He’s warm for the first time in months, and the most heartbreaking part is that it can’t last. He can’t do this again.

He pulls away, ignoring the painful hope on Jimmy’s face. “I’m sorry, Jimmy.” For the first time all conversation, his voice well and truly wobbles. “I can’t. Not again.”

“But-”

Scott shakes his head. “Losing you will destroy me. We dared to love, and now all we can do now is lessen the pain when it all comes crashing down.” The words are like glass in his throat, but he forces them out anyways. They have to be said.

Jimmy’s silent, and it hurts more than if Jimmy had yelled at him.

“Goodbye, Jimmy,” Scott manages, turning away before Jimmy can see the way his face twists in pain. He makes his retreat as quickly as possible, stumbling and nearly taking a tumble just before he reaches the door. Unlike before, there’s no helpful ex-husband there to catch him, to make sure he’s alright and ask a million questions until Scott’s forced to admit that he’s not okay and hasn’t been in a long time.

He fumbles with the latch, hands shaking and vision blurring. Finally, it clicks, and Scott stumbles inside and slams the door shut before sliding to the ground. He won’t cry. He won’t . He doesn’t love Jimmy, he can’t love Jimmy anymore. Jimmy was never meant to be his. They might have carved out a few precious moments, stolen them from the universe and giggled like kids with their hands in the cookie jar as they kissed amongst the flowers, but those brief moments were all they were ever going to be allowed. It was always going to end this way, Scott tells himself. There’s no use crying over a mortal who will be dead in the blink of an eye to an elf. What would his parents say? That this was typical of him, probably. Typical Scott, always wanting what he would never be able to have. Typical, predictable Scott, loving a mortal who shouldn’t be worth anything to him.

He’s crying. There are tears spotting his cyan robes, splashing onto the wood floors he worked so hard on. Scott rubs at his eyes furiously, but that only makes it worse, sobs shuddering through him and leaving him hollow and aching. He’s so cold . The ache in his chest has returned tenfold, stealing away his breath, and he curls further into himself, struggling for air.

He’s going to die. He is going to die , alone on the floor of his house because he fell for someone he couldn’t have. For all that he’s spent every minute since Jimmy’s death in 3rd life wishing for some way out of this cruel world, he’s terrified now that it seems inevitable. He’s scared in a way he hasn’t been in forever, breath coming quick and shallow. He's scared, and he is so, so tired of this ache that haunts him, the chill that he can never get rid of.

“Jimmy,” Scott whispers. There’s no way for the human to hear him, but the name brings him some comfort. “ Jimmy .” He wants his husband. He wants someone to hug him. He doesn’t want to fade away freezing and alone, no one there to hold his hand or reassure him that the pain will be over soon. Internally, he begs for someone, anyone who cares to come looking. To find him, even if they’re too late to save him. Someone. Anyone. Please.

No one comes, and Scott lays on his floor until his breathing steadies out again. His head spins when he forces himself to his feet, and he has to lean against the wall for a few moments. There’s no time for dramatics, he tells himself sternly. He has a kingdom to rule. He cannot afford to break over a mortal he never should have fallen for in the first place. He doesn’t love Jimmy anymore, he can’t .

(He’s lying. But Scott has always been an excellent liar, even when it’s to himself.)

[aminiatureworld]

In My Dreams II

Characters: Diluc, fm!reader

Word Count: 3,273

Warnings: Depictions of a panic attack

Premise: The past is many things. Something to admire, something to learn from, something to hold dear. And yet how unreliable it can be, especially in the hands of ghosts.

In which the reader dreams of the past.

Author’s Note: Translation notes and historical references will come after the fic. The history nerd really came out this time around.  

Diluc

You knew that holding onto the past too much was a dangerous game to play. Yet you continued to chase it, desperately looking for something that might finally bridge your present self to the person you’d left behind.

You’d been mostly upfront to Diluc about this obsession of yours. Knowing that your partner also lost his family, it was easier in some ways to grasp onto this shared loss, and to use it as a way to continue on. Not that Diluc ever pushed you to forget your past, as other might have done. Instead he tried to help you, using his not inconsiderable connections to attempt to find as such land that matched the vague descriptions you could give. Though you knew the quest was most likely no more than a wild goose, you greatly appreciated his attempt to help.

However you knew that even someone as kind and understanding as Diluc would never be able to condone something like this.

You rubbed your arms, feeling every inch of the cold musty ruins around you. You’d heard that a sizeable group of Abyss members were gathering here and figured that these figures who boasted of civilizations long gone might be valuable pieces of information. Though sneaking into a gathering of the upper members of the Abyss was perhaps not the smartest thing you’d ever done. It was too late to turn back now however. Ducking into a corner you slowed your breathing, hoping that no one would care to look at the nook in which you were now curled up.

Listening to the slow creaking of the domain you suddenly felt the hairs on the back of your neck standing up as the air grew charged with magic. The room around you suddenly grew completely silent, as if even the walls were aware of something important. Not daring to sneak a peak at what was happening you closed your eyes, willing your senses to focus on your ears.

“My brethren, I’m glad to see you.”

Opening your eyes wide you gathered your control, willing yourself to not immediately turn around. The voice was familiar, its cadence smooth and soothing, polished as marble. It struck something within you, some deep hidden memory that you’d long ago forgotten. Now that memory struggled to the surface of your mind, the sketch of a long ago time.

“I know that our plans are continuing smoothly. Soon we will able to Khaenri’ah, and topple those who so callously left it to smolder, having lit the flame themselves. We will one more emerge into the world, no longer required to hide our faces.”

The words passed through you, intangible as air. What were they talking about? Nothing was making sense, not one word was something you could interpret. And yet the voice seemed almost an explanation in itself. If you knew who was talking then you’d find out the answers, or at least some of them. Vraning your head ever so slightly you looked up, jerking back slightly in shock as you found amber eyes staring right at you.

The person who was talking was immensely familiar, everything about them echoed with a long gone familiarity. Looking out of place amidst the rank and file members of the Abyss he exuded a cold sort of confidence, a determination to see his words realized. Staring at him you noticed the emblem which embellished the scarf he wore around his neck, a golden eagle which seemed to move with the fabric. A part of you was tempted to run, but you found yourself frozen, trying desperately to process the figure which danced before your eyes.

The young man said nothing, gaze shifting as he calmly began to speak again, though you couldn’t hear his words over the pounding of your heart. When his gaze once more passed yours he grinned an understanding sort of grin. It was as if you two were cohorts in some sort of pranks of scheme, rather than complete strangers who stood on opposites ends of an invisible struggle. The gesture confused you, and you found yourself sinking back to the ground. Putting your head in your arms you took a few deep breaths. You would figure out what was going on. It was alright, there was a logical explanation for this. Perhaps he just wanted to finish up this odd gathering before turning his minions upon you.

And yet the order to attack never came. After what must’ve been at least an hour the young man declared the gathering over. The air filled with the familiar mark of waypointing, and soon the ruin was once more deadly quiet. Straightening your back you studied the wall opposite of you, sure that you were dreaming a confusing sort of dream.

“You can come out now.”

You jumped, freezing as you wondered what to do. You thought that you were alone, yet he remained. Was this the moment, had you truly just been tricked.

“You don’t have to be so afraid.” Laughter drifted to your ears. “I promise the rest are gone.”

Slowly turning around you peered over the broken wall once more. True to the young man’s word there was no one left, only the two of you.  Standing up slowly you summoned your sword, still not trusting the person in front of you.

“What is it?”

“That’s the last thing I expect you to ask.” The young man was smirking now. “Surely there are more important things.”

“I have no idea what you mean.”

“You wound me! Have you truly forgotten the face of your family.”

The words felt jagged, almost accusatory. You stiffened, face twisting into a scowl as you moved your sword slightly forward.

“You’re a liar.”

“I assure you I’m not! Why, I cannot believe you truly have forgotten so much. Is it just me, or have we all been banished from your thoughts?”

Reaching into his pocket he threw something at you. Catching it you stared at the egg, mind full of half-incredulous questions. The egg was evidently a work of ambition and love, its outer shell the color of the night. Diamonds crept up the sides of the egg, embedded into gold that shone even in the dark of your current place. There were four portraits embedded into the sides, studded with diamonds and crowned with stars that seemed so bright and silverly you were almost afraid to run your fingers over them. Something that seemed to be monograms sat underneath the portraits, but the script evaded your understanding.

Shifting your gaze to the portraits you found an even greater surprise. The person staring back at you, a small smile on her face, was you – though you couldn’t recognize the complex dress in which you’d been painted. The portrait was such a good likeness it took your breath away, the miniscule brush strokes truly the work of a master painter. Rotating the egg slowly you recognized the young man in front of you as the next model. Sporting what could only be some sort of military uniform, small medals of red and blue lined up on top of a blue sash, he seemed to be joking with the artist, his cocky smile offset by the stark lighting of his eyes. Next was a woman, somewhat who could only be this boy’s mother. He face was set in a straight line, her expression one of regal aloofness, as if she was thinking of something very far away. She was wearing the same sort of dress as you, though hers was much more complex in nature. The clothing screamed importance, as if to confirm the expression on her face. Lastly you found yourself looking at the portrait of someone who was presumably the boy’s father. Surprisingly under dressed her wore the same uniform as the boy, the only distinction being the number of medals. No crown sat on his head, no sign of any particular regal bearing shone in the portrait; instead there was a tiredness about him, a cloud which betrayed the fact that he was ultimately quite unworthy of remembrance.

“Do you remember now?”

You looked up wildly, denial fighting with realization as you shook your head. This wasn’t remembering; remembering was something else entirely. Remembering wasn’t the feel of the world sinking around you, remembering wasn’t losing faith in the world around you.

“Are you telling me that this means nothing to you?” Accusation flooded the boy’s speech as he glared at you.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“I, I don’t trust this.”

“Always the same sister.” The boy’s tone was mocking now. “You always were the suspicious one, and as unambitious as our poor father once was.”

“Was?”

“He’s changed his tune quite a bit. He had too, of course. How could anyone stay so weak after surviving what we survived?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking about death. Or as close to it as one can get I suppose. You should know this, you were there when they stormed the place, when they took us away. You were there when we were ordered to the basement.”

A flash of memory danced in your vision, speeding up your breath as you were overtaken by sudden panic. Swaying slightly you screwed your eyes shut, letting out a cry of frustration when the memory only grew stronger. You were dancing for a moment, spinning around with the boy in front of you as a distant melody drifted upon the air. Then you were inside an unfamiliar place, the new space so claustrophobic it squeezed the air out of you, the windows, having been painted over, offered no reprise. Then it was midnight and you were shuffling outside. The stars seemed so distant; they’d stared cold and unfeeling down as you shuffled behind a familiar figure, entering a door which seemed so familiar.

You leaned against the stone wall, trying to find some sort of reprieve in the cold damp of it. Forcing your eyes open you stared once more at the strange boy in front of you. His expression was one of ill-concealed triumph, mixed with barely suppressed rage.

“Do you see now? Do you see what they did to us? A wonder any of us escaped at all, then again I suppose those wretched idiots had no sense of magic. They were after all a bunch of thugs.”

“Where… where was that place?” You heaved slightly, feeling as if the ground was floating underneath you.

“Somewhere long destroyed. No point in thinking of it now. There is only this world after all. This world and the destruction that seized it as well. Only this one can be saved.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Khaenri’ah! The city struck down by the gods who could contemplate no power except their own! Their people suffered the fate of ours, should they not get the revenge we will never be allowed?”

“You’re mad.”

“Am I? Or are you just the same coward as always?” The boy shook his head. Pointing to the egg in your hand he back away. “You can keep it. Think of it as a memento, a way to contact me. If you ever wish to see right, well, I’ll be waiting.”

And then he was gone, so fast it was as if he’d never existed, as if he’d suddenly turned to dust. Sinking to the ground you pushed scalding air into your lungs, watching helplessly as your vision spotted around you. What had you done, oh gods what had you done?

The return trip to the Winery was an excruciating one. At first panic had been your only sensation, as you half stumbled, half crawled your way out of the Abyss’ lair, stopping every few minutes to lay down as to not pass out. The moment you got into the open air you made your way towards the nearest stream, waterlogging yourself in your hurry to pour icy water down your throat. Collapsed on the back you stared up at the sky. It was still night, which meant Diluc was probably guarding Mondstadt. You prayed to Barbatos that he wouldn’t notice your absence, for how could you deal with your shame? You’d been so foolish. How could you have ever expected things to turn out well? Now you were simply paying the price for your arrogance.

Finally lifting yourself up from your position you stumbled the rest of the way to the Winery, careful to keep your mind blank, afraid of what might happen if you let panic once more set in. Tears pricked in your eyes as familiar vines appeared within your sight, and you could’ve cried for joy upon opening the sturdy oaken door and crossing the threshold of the place you’d learned to call home. Creeping upstairs, hoping desperately that you hadn’t managed to wake any of the other residents, you breathed a sigh of relief when you entered the familiar bedroom which you’d grown to call you own. Sinking down onto the coverlet you let out a soft sigh, finally letting tears fall as you drifted off to sleep.

 -------

Yet your dreams refused to offer you any sort of reprieve. Finding yourself in a darkened hall you silently passed a variety of rooms, their imposing grandeur a familiar one. Someone seemed to be whispering a song in your ear, though when you turned to see who it was no one appeared.

“How can I desert you, how to tell you why.”

Reaching a room even grandeur than the rest you stared at the chairs that sat on dais on the opposite side from where you entered. They shimmered as if a mirage, and when you went to approach them two figures seemed to appear out of thin air. The man and the woman that were painted into the egg gazed at you with sad eyes, each saying nothing as you continued to make your way towards them.

“Let me have a moment, let me say goodbye.”

“Who are you?” You called out to them. The woman turned her head, as if ashamed of your lapse of memory. The man stood up slowly, arms reaching towards you slightly. Hurrying your pace you moved to meet him, spurred on by some unrecognized emotion.

“Harsh and sweet and bitter to leave it all.”

You as you reached the man he vanished, red ash falling softly to the ground in his wake. Gasping in horror you watched as the woman did the same. Suddenly the dream began to crumble, burning itself away to reveal nothing but black. Dropping you into an eternal night you couldn’t escape.

“I’ll bless my homeland ‘til I die.”

You bolted up, mind struggling to place where you were. Looking around you, your eyes were met with the familiar comforts of your home. A soft light drifting through the crack in the curtains, the foretelling of the dawn.

Besides you Diluc stirred. Sitting up slowly, rubbing his eyes in a gesture which made your heart squeeze, he glanced at you through sleep eyes.

“Is there something wrong, my love?”

You meant to say no, to assure him that you’d just had a strange dream. Yet the softness of his voice was contrasted so with the venom of the young man and the silence of the people who seemed to have been your family that you found yourself cracking. The sobs were soft at first, but soon you found yourself wailing, not caring how your hoarse voice pierced through the quiet of the Winery.

“My love?”

Diluc immediately wrapped his arms around you, saying nothing as you continued to sob into his chest, staining his nightshirt with tears as you cried out all the tears you could possibly contain. You felt like the world around you was shattering, like nothing was real anymore. You felt as if all you had held to was suddenly gone, and nothing remained but searing contempt.

“It’s alright, it’s alright.”

Diluc carded his fingers through your hair, whispering soft words of comfort as your sobs diminished. Finally you felt completely spent, and as you relaxed in his arms you felt a sudden surge of tiredness, washing over you and calling you once more to the perilous depths of sleep.

“May I ask you what’s wrong?”

You fought your fatigue, disconnecting yourself slightly as to look Diluc in the face. Could you tell him what had occurred? Could you lay bare your weakness, your shame, your guilt? A part of you recoiled at the idea. And yet, as you stared at Diluc you found yourself recounting what happened, shaky breaths accompanying your soft confession. Lowering your gaze you spoke of your night, grateful that Diluc never let his arms leave you.

“I see.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Why should you be sorry?” Lifting your gaze you found Diluc’s eyes raw, his expression one of surprising honesty.

“I was selfish, and I didn’t expect the consequences of my action. All I could think of was the past, of getting back what I’d once had.”

“And is that not a natural thing?” Diluc took a deep breath, hold on you tightening slightly. “If I could not remember what had happened to my father – if I woke up one day in an  unfamiliar place with nothing but a sense of loss – I would go to the ends of the world to find what I’d lost. There is no crime in wanting your loved ones home, even when you cannot recognize them.”

“And yet it seems the only survivor has turned into a monster.”

“Does that make your past love for him any less? Do the bonds of family immediately cut the moment our loved ones turn rotten?”

You thought back to the young man in the ruins, to his mockery and his impatience. You hated him, you hated what he was doing. And yet you missed him, you somehow missed him so much. Turnign towards the nightstand you opened the small drawer. Pulling out the egg you’d been given you examined it in the dim light. How beautiful it was, how different from the image that had been put in front of you.

“Do you wish to forget what you have remembered?” Diluc’s voice was filled with nothing but kindness.

“No.” Even if it embarrassed you to say, you knew it was the truth.

“Then don’t forget it.”

You smiled, placing the egg once more in your drawer. Though it had only been a few words, though this terrible night hadn’t been erased from your memory, you somehow found yourself much lighter. Turning to Diluc you pressed a soft kiss on his forehead.

“Thank you.”

Diluc said nothing, merely leaning down to kiss you as well. Cushioned in the familiar sanctuary of his arms you allowed the darkness of your encounter to drift from your mind.

 -----

Drifting off to sleep you found yourself once more in a corridor, face to face with the man who was once your father. You stared at him, wondering if he would disappear again.

“Are you truly happy as you are now?”

“Yes.” Somehow you knew it was the truth.

“I see,” the man nodded, a slight smile flashing across his face, “then we shall keep you no longer.”

Leaning over he kissed you softly on the forehead. Next to him now stood the woman who was one your mother. Smiling now, a smile which utterly transformed her melancholy aura, she wrapped you in a hug.

“Do not forget us.” She whispered.

Even as the words were spoken you knew that you never could.

--------------------------

The egg that I used this time around is a reference to Faberge eggs. The tradition having been started by Alexander III giving an egg every Easter to Empress Maria Feodorovna, the tradition was continued by Nicholas the second - who gave an egg to his wife and his mother every year. Each egg is a masterpiece of innovation and creativity and is breathtaking in its aesthetic and in the mechanic of hiding its “surprise”. The two eggs I used as reference were the Alexander Palace Egg (1908) and the Twelve Monogram Egg (1896).

The song that I referenced this time around was “Stay I Pray You” from the Anastasia musical. Highly recommend.

The parents are based off of Nicholas II and Alexandra Feodorovna. I do not have time to go into them because we will be here for 300 years. The dresses I mentioned are traditional Russian court gowns. An image will be linked in the reblog.

[mammonshuman92]

- Homecoming -

(Keishin x F! Reader)

Genre: Angst to fluff

TW: none

The past is a fickle thing.

Sometimes memories of days long gone are wonderful. Bringing a certain warmth to your heart. Filling you with a sense of peace and even love.

And sometimes, those memories are anything but that.

They claw their way to the surface, from the pit you tried so hard to bury them in. Wreaking havoc the whole way, pulling at your heart strings and playing games with your mind.

But for him, those memories are both.

The same ones he wants to bury, that give him nightmares at least once a week, are the same memories he holds closest to his heart, never wanting to forget a single detail.

It's been years, but the memories of you excite him and fill him with warmth, just as much as they tear him apart. Leaving him feeling empty.

It's almost as if he mourns your death, although you're very much alive. With how abruptly everything happened, and how quickly you had to leave, he sort of does mourn for you.

But, life goes on right?

He works at the shop, helping his mom. He coaches the volleyball team now. And he plays with the Karasuno Neighborhood Association team, too. He stays pretty busy most of the time.

Even still, you're there in his mind.

"You're... leaving?"

After you told him the news, he went blank. Time seemed to stop. He couldn't believe it.

You were moving back to America.

Your family moved to Japan the summer before fourth grade, after your father received an amazing job offer he couldn't refuse. When school began, Keishin was the first friend you made. After that, the two of you had always been inseparable.

School was set to start in just a few weeks, the two of you going into your first year of high school. Except now, he'd be attending the school you both wanted to go to by himself..

"Keishin?"

The sight of you, voice breaking, tears threatening to spill over, was almost more than he could take. He had to steel himself if he was going to make it through this.

"Hey, it's alright. Don't cry, okay? It's not like you're gonna be gone forever right? It's just temporary until your folks can get things settled in the US, then you'll be back." His voice was calm and soothing.

The company your father worked for was opening a new office in the US, and wanted him to lead the project. It was a big deal and a great opportunity for your family. But that didn't make it hurt any less.

You nodded and rubbed your eyes with your sleeve, sniffling. You quickly threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck, burying your face in his shoulder.

He put his arms around your waist, pulling you close to him. He tried as hard as he could to memorize everything. The smell of your hair, the way you were embracing him. How the delicate gold necklace he gave you with his name on it looked against your beautiful skin; the way you fit perfectly in his arms. He wanted to remember everything.

Deep down he knew that this was it. You wouldn't be coming back.

He blinked a few times upon opening his eyes. He looked over at the clock on the night stand, the bright glow of the numbers read '2:13 am'.

He groaned and rolled over onto his back, staring at the ceiling. This was the second time this week his last memory with you had awakened him. It's been years since that day, but it haunts him just the same.

"Get over yourself, idiot. She's probably married with kids now. Besides, she probably doesn't even remember you.." He whispered to himself sourly.

At the time, he didn't think that'd be one of the last times he'd ever talk to you. The time difference between Japan and the US is substantial, not to mention the charges. you were able to talk a couple times, but ended up losing contact. You were starting a whole new life and he was trying to pick up the pieces of his. He didn't push the issue either. More than anything, he just wanted you to be happy.

With a heavy sigh, he rolled onto his side, pulling the blankets over his head. Trying to think of something else. Anything else. It was always hard to fall back asleep after the memory of you invaded his mind.

-

"You look like shit."

Keishin looked up to see Takinoue Yūsuke, his friend and teammate, both former and current, standing on the other side of the counter, looking at him.

"Can I help you?" He asked, ignoring his friend's statement, continuing to read his newspaper.

"We still on for the scrimmage match tomorrow?"

The Neighborhood Association team was set to play against the Karasuno boys team, to help them get in as many practice matches as they could.

"Yep. Still going out for drinks afterward?" Keishin asked.

"Of course." Takinoue laughed slightly, then cleared his throat.

"It's been over a decade, man. It's still waking you up?" His friend asked quietly.

Keishin sighed and put the paper down. He picked up his pack of cigarettes and lit one, choosing to ignore his friend.

"I remember how bad it messed you up, when she left." He said quietly, glancing at his friend trying to gauge his reaction. You had always been a touchy subject, no matter how much time had passed.

Keishin stood up, got the broom and started sweeping. Anything to try and get away from the conversation, but Takinoue just followed him around the store.

"It's been so long, man. Have you thought about moving on?"

He was barely sixteen when you left. So, of course he'd dated other people. They could just never compare to you.

"I've dated." He replied, as he continued to sweep. He really didn't want to have this conversation right now. Or at all, for that matter.

"If you could call it that." Takinoue whispered to himself.

"Look, all I'm saying is try, ok? Or at least think about it?"

Keishin stopped sweeping and turned to look at his freind with a questioning look.

"Why the sudden interest in my love life?" He asked him.

"You mean the lack thereof?" The man teased, making Keishin roll his eyes.

"Your mom talked to my mom about how she's super worried that you"ll never get married and you're almost thirty, and my mom convinced me to talk to you."

"Hey! I have a few more years before I turn thirty!" Keishin shot back, causing his friend to laugh. That would be the part he was most concerned about.

"You don't have a girlfriend either." Keishin shot back.

"Yeah, but this isn't about me." He chuckled. "Well anyway, I'll tell her I talked to you. Think about it though?"

"Yeah, yeah." He agreed, waving his hand around.

After a few more minutes, Takinoue left, leaving Keishin alone with his thoughts again.

He wasn't really interested in dating, honestly. He'd pretty much given up on it. He didn't want to spend his life alone, but he was sure he wouldn't find anyone like you.

The two of you only got to date for a few months before you moved, but that's not what always kept him hung up on you.

You'd been best friends for such a long time. You grew up together. Hell, even your parents became friends. You knew everything about him, because you had practically been there for it all. You understood him better than anyone else ever could. He never really had to say much to you, or explain anything, you kind of just knew. Like you could read his mind. You never complained about always playing volleyball, and helped out at his family's store during summer vacation.

As sappy as it is, the two of you fit together like pieces of a puzzle. Filling in the spots the other was missing and working together to make the end picture beautiful.

There would never be anyone else like you for him, and he knew that.

After he graduated, there were so many times he thought of going to America, hoping that he'd be able to reconnect with you, but gave up on the idea. What if you didn't want to see him? What is you didn't even remember him? As amazing of a person as you were, he knew that you were living a good life, and were most likely seeing someone and he didn't want to intrude.

Keishin plopped down into the chair behind the counter, and lit another cigarette. It was almost time to head over to the high school for volleyball practice. He couldn't wait for something, anything, to take up his attention and stop the current depressing state of his thoughts.

-

It had been a couple weeks since his conversation that day with Takinoue, but he hadn't really given it much thought since then. He didn't have the time. The team was going to Tokyo soon, and they were getting in as much practice as they could. They had one more match set up with the Neighborhood Association team, before their trip. His busier than usual schedule was helping to keep him out of his own head, thankfully.

Before volleyball practice, he made a quick stop at the market to see Shimada, to talk about the upcoming match with the association team.

"Yeah, I'll for sure be there. I also want to get in at least one more practice session with Tadashi before you guys leave for Tokyo. He's making great progress."

"I can tell he's really improved." Keishin agreed.

"Oh, before I forget. I know you don't like talking about it, but I'm pretty sure I saw Y/N a few days ago." He said, carefully watching his friend, trying to gauge his reaction.

Hearing your name caused him to tense, a lump forming in his throat.

"It was probably someone that just looked like her." He finally managed to say.

"Hmm, maybe. But I was almost positive it was Y/N."

"It's been a long time. I'm sure she doesn't look exactly the same." Keishin said. How many times had he sworn he saw you in a crowd?

He quickly ended his conversation with Shimada and left. He didn't want to talk about it anymore.

He sighed to himself and made his way to practice.

As soon as he walked inside the gym, Tanaka and Nishinoya bombarded him with a string of questions.

"Who is she?"

"She's so pretty!"

"Why'd you keep her a secret, huh?!"

Keishin glared at the two boys. "What are you going on about now?"

"Your girlfriend! Why didn't you tell us about her?" Tanaka demanded.

"Yeah! She's like, an actual goddess. How did you land her??" Noya interrogated.

"What? I don't have a girlfriend." He explained.

The two boys tilted their heads to the side like a puupy.

"Oh. Well, there was a solid 12/10 here looking for you earlier." Tanaka explained.

"Huh?" Who could be looking for him?

"It was probably someone looking for information on how to make a donation to the team or something." He quickly explained, shutting the boys down.

Still, he couldn't shake this feeling he had.

-

The next morning at the store, as he was knelt down stocking shelves, the bell above the door chimed, alerting him of a customer. He called out his usual greeting, but the response he received all but stopped his heart.

"You're a hard man to find."

Is that..? It can't be.. He thought.

That voice.

It sounded like music. Sweet like honey.

His heart was racing, his hands getting clammy. He swallowed hard, and took a deep breath.

There's no way..

He stood up slowly and turned around. His eyes as big as saucers when they fell on you. Was he actually asleep right now, having the dream. This couldn't actually be happening..

You took a step forward and smiled. The same smile that was forever etched in his mind.

"Hi, Keishin. Long time no see."

"Y/N..?"

*PART TWO COMING SOON*

[petri808]

G1+Hakyona Angel/Demon @firiare & @bmarvels

Humans have always thought themselves above other creatures even though they were merely just another species like the rest in nature. In the beginning, those with power or abilities fought against humans, but eventually gave up. They realized it was a pointless endeavor, so for the last 200,000 years, they used their magic to fade into human societies, and the ancient myths became nothing more than fairytales. Contrary to what the human societies had conjured up about ‘mythical’ creatures, the truth behind many of the stories were just that, story’s. Tales designed around them to serve a human’s purpose. A scary demon to frighten peasant subjects into submission or an angelic fairy to soothe away the fears in their hearts and offer salvation.

Life wasn’t always easy for any creature on Earth. One must learn to adapt and change, fit in and move forward. But it could be doubly difficult for a mythic creature trying to blend amongst the humans. Over time, most had developed societies within the human civilizations to watch out for their own, or gathering places where they could be their true selves. Forged bonds were also common between creatures and humans who’s loyalty were not in question. It was all meant to protect both sides, for wherever there is room for fear or misunderstanding, problems are unavoidable. Could one imagine a human being brought up to believe a demon is evil, not freaking out if suddenly they’re bf/gf said surprise, I have horns— probably wouldn’t go over well.

Hak new this well enough, he was a half demon after all. Mother was a demon and father a human who’d served in the military. But if this existence didn’t already come with struggle, his mother died during childbirth, and father during an overseas war when Hak was 4 years old. Luckily for him, a close family friend adopted him knowing full well the family’s genealogy. It was an older gentleman with no children of his own. Mundock, or grandpa Mundock raised him to blend into society. Hak turned into a very smart, athletic, capable young man who after college made a modest living working at a shipping company owned by another demon. It was a comfortable, albeit lonely life, because Hak shied away from romantic relationships.

Not that the ‘tall, dark, and handsome,’ stereotypical male couldn’t get a date if wanted to. Instead, he was afraid of falling in love only to have his heart broken if they couldn’t accept what he truly was. But his best friend Jaeha, a dragon in human form, was the opposite of Hak in many ways. Where he was quiet and naively sarcastic, Jaeha was extroverted and flirty. The man constantly tried to set him up with women. Come on, the man would admonish, let’s do a double and have some fun!

“No! No! What part of no, don’t you understand?!” Hak growled at his friend. “I’m not interested.”

“Pfft, boring grumpy ass...” Jaeha walked away from the couch where Hak was lounging with a video game. The conniving man then noticed Hak’s phone sitting on the kitchen island. Fine, he grinned to himself. ‘Time to take matters into my own hands.’

Jaeha opened the phone easily since he knew his friends password, and downloaded a popular dating app. While Hak was too engrossed in his game, he set about creating the perfect profile to lure in the women. Frankly, it wasn’t very hard. One hot profile picture, check. Bio info, stays in shape, works at a shipping company, hobbies include soccer and martial arts. Looking for, monogamous relationship with a sweet, friendly girl who is open minded. Click, send. Within minutes, the app’s inbox was receiving hits. Jaeha happily screened through them, looking for the right girl he was sure Hak would find difficult to say no to. Because despite his friend’s, ‘I don’t wanna date,’ attitude, he knew what Hak’s type was and that he was lonely.

He scrolled through profile after profile of the women messaging Hak looking at their bio’s. They ran the gamut of types, and not just in looks but demeanor from shy to scandalous. Many were obviously just interested in Hak’s appearance, and after close to 50 profiles, even Jaeha was starting to wonder if this was worth the effort.

That’s when he saw her... A pretty, fiery red head with purple eyes who’s effervescent skin and soft, innocent eyes just pulled you in. Her appearance may have caught Jaeha’s attention, but it was really her bio that solidified it. College educated, works as a primary school teacher, with a love of fantasy arts and stories. Oh, she is perfect!

Jaeha checks to make sure Hak is still focused on his game, then sends off a message to the woman.

‘Nice to meet you Yona. I noticed you’re into fantasy stuff, that’s pretty cool.’

‘Hello, nice to meet you too, Hak. Yeah, I find mythical creatures to be fascinating, so I’m always watching out for nice art or good fiction books about them.’

Jaeha grinned at the message. So far, so good. ‘It’s nice to meet someone who appreciates such things. I’ve done a little research on dragons and demons too.’

‘Really? Why demons?’

‘I think they get a bad rap in the old stories.’

‘Lol. You might be right... I don’t think angels are saints either.’

“Wow...” Jaeha mumbled out loud.

“Wow, what?” Hak looked up, questioning his friend.

Shit! “Oh, nothing. I just noticed you killed that opponent is all.”

“Oh,” Hak’s brow raised in suspicion, but he opted to go back to his game.

Jaeha breathed a sigh of relief. He would have to tell his friend the truth, but not yet. Time to go in for the kill.

‘Yona, would you do me the honor and go out on a date with me? I’d really love to get to know you more. How about this Saturday for dinner, restaurant of your choice, my treat.’

Several minutes pass by, but finally she responded. ‘Okay. Merrimans restaurant on Kilauea avenue at 6pm. Make sure to call in a reservation.’

‘Will do. See you then. Have a great rest of your day, Yona.’

‘Nice meeting you too, Hak.’

Jaeha grinned wide and walked over standing in front of his friend. “Hak, buddy, I gotta tell ya something, so turn that stupid game off!”

“No! So move your ass outta my way!”

“I got you a date.” Jaeha held the phone at arms length with the picture of Yona on the screen for Hak to see it. “Saturday, 6pm.”

“You did what?!” Hak stood up and grabbed his phone from the man’s hand, his blue eyes turning red in anger. “I told you, I’m not going out on a date!”

“Fine.” Jaeha crossed his arms over his chest, but a smug, unperturbed look still on his face. “Then you can be the bad guy and turn her down. Go ahead Hak, be the mean guy who breaks her heart.”

“You son-of-a!”

“Just look at her Hak. She’s pretty, she’s smart, and— she’s into creatures! She’s perfect for you! I’m tired of watching you moping around our apartment, you need a damn girlfriend.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“No, I’m your awesome wingman.” Jaeha winked and started to walk away. “Don’t forget to make the reservations. Details in the chat.”

“Fucking prick!” Hak groaned and plopped back onto the couch with a thud. His friend got him good this time, because he knew Hak didn’t have it in him to be mean to a girl. So, begrudgingly he started reading the woman’s profile.

Yona. ‘She’s tiny...’ okay, so, she is very attractive... and her comments about angels and demons catches his attention. No wonder Jaeha liked this one. But Hak wasn’t getting his hopes up, because finding them fascinating is still not the same as how someone would react if one were standing right in front of them. ‘Merrimans,’ at least she had good taste. He calls and sets up the reservation. “Ugh, this better turn out okay,” Hak yelled out loud enough for his roommate to hear it. “Or I’m kicking your ass dragon!”

It was four days until the fateful dinner date and he’d be fooling himself to say he wasn’t nervous, anxious to see if this girl could really be different from all the others, yet realistic that it may not turn out that way. Hak went about his work days like normal, never showing his co-workers or delivery customers anything beyond a mask of invincibility. He prided himself on never losing his cool, a behavior he’d maybe inherited from his military father. Even though inside he was a mess. Ugh! This is exactly why he avoided this area of the heart! Because in that way he was more like his mother according to gramps. His mom was a tough demon with a heart of gold who hated the idea of hurting anyone. Hak too didn’t like to let anyone down, and his respect for women came from stories about her.

What if this Yona woman liked him back but couldn’t accept his true identity? He’d break both their hearts. Maybe it would be best to let her down gently right from the beginning? This and more Hak pondered during those four days, his mind constantly calculating the options and odds. So that by Saturday morning his decision was made, right or wrong. He’ll go through with the date, but make it clear he’s not interested. Yes! That’s what he’ll do. Shield them both from future misery. Yona’s a beautiful woman, she’ll find someone better.

“Hi,” Hak stood before the hostess stand. “I have a 6pm reservation under...”

“Hak?”

A tiny female voice behind him sent a shiver right up his spine. Hak whipped around at his name, a surging sense of power titillating the nerve cells of his skin. “Yona?” The woman exuded something he’d never encountered before.

“Hello,” the woman smiled. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Y-Yeah,” cheeks heating up, “it’s nice to meet you too. Um,” he turned back to the hostess still flustered and mind racing, “Hak, reservation for two.”

“Welcome to Merriman’s,” the hostess responded. “Please, right this way,” she gestured for the pair to follow.

Hak stepped aside and motioned for Yona to go first, then followed behind. Clearly this woman was not human, but what she was, he wasn’t sure of. Her energy was bright, soothing, and so inviting that it almost overruled his own thoughts. Was she a succubus?! What little he knew of them came from the stories, how they lured men in with their beguiling natures. Hak shook his head of those thoughts before they could be seated. Yona only came up to his chest she was so tiny, so that the idea of her being a strong demon was hard to grasp. Well, whatever she was, this date wasn’t going to be as easy to get through as he’d hoped.

The air between them was expectedly nervous. Hak couldn’t tell if Yona had figured out his nature yet, and she sure wasn’t behaving like it. To anyone around them, they simply appeared as a couple on a quiet dinner date. He did his best to stay engaged, though she initiated most of the conversations. They talked about things Hak assumed any pair would when trying to get to know each other. Family, friends, interests, but nothing overly reaching and he definitely didn’t want to just bluntly ask about creatures, not in a restaurant where they were surrounded by humans.

She was everything her dating profile had made her appear to be and more, and he felt himself being pulled in. It created a growing dilemma as the night wore on, and Hak found it more and more difficult to stick to his original plan. By the dessert round, he knew he needed to make a decision, so screw it, he’ll ask the question that could get him immediate answers.

As soon as they exit the restaurant, where no one was around, Hak launched into his question. “I’m gonna be straight with you Yona. It was actually my roommate who set this all up, not me because he thinks I need a girlfriend. A-And I’m not saying it wouldn’t be nice, but there’s things about me that—”

Yona placed a finger on his lips to hush him. “Not here. Someone might hear us.” She then took his hand, “there’s somewhere safer we can talk.”

“O-Okay...” Hak blushed both from her commandingly gentle reaction and her hand in his!! He followed quietly as she led them just a few storefronts away to another business, giving up total control like a putty in her hands. If Jaeha saw them, Hak wouldn’t hear the end of it. How the mighty demon Hak was subdued by a tiny woman...

The business itself was nothing special, just a bar from the outside. But then Yona continued inside towards the back, stopping in front of a wall. Hak watched in awe as she muttered a few words in another language and suddenly a door appeared. They went through it and that’s when Hak realized they were still in the bar, just a section reserved for creatures!

After moving them to the side, Yona turned around and giggled. “Let me see the real you, Hak,” she spoke as she dropped her own glamor and white feathery wings suddenly appeared from her back along with a yellow effervescent glow on her skin.

His eyes flashed wide in shock, but he complied with her request. Hak turned off his glamor to reveal two short, pointed black horns on his head, a long black leathery tail, and talons on his fingers.

“You’re a demon” She verified.

“And you’re an angel,” Hak breathed out. “Now I understand that comment from the chat.”

She nodded. “But I have a confession as well,” Yona confided. “I already knew you’re a demon because your friend Jaeha contacted me a couple of days ago suspicious of my remark.” She chuckled, “he really looks out for you, I hope you know he cares.”

“He’s a pain in the ass,” Hak grumbled, “but yeah, that’s why he’s also my best friend.”

“Well?” Yona placed a hand on her hip in a cocky pose. “What do you think? I know I like what I see, but what about you?”

Hak snorted a laugh. An angel... who’s not a saint, huh? This woman was intriguing for sure. “Alright, angel. You’ve got my attention.”

The sound of clapping, and a slap on his back, caused Hak to spin around, swinging at the offender. But what he found instead was his green-scaled dragon roommate.

“Whoa!” Jaeha caught Hak’s fist. “I’m just here to congratulate you buddy.”

“Damn it, slanty eyes!” Hak counter punched the man in his chest. “But... thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Jaeha laughed, “now come on!” He gathered the couple one of each side of him, and pulled them towards the dance floor. “Time to celebrate my buddy’s finally got a girlfriend!”

“I swear to hell I’m gonna kill you Dragon!”

[pinkesthoney]

Idiots in Love

Summary: Eddie and you have been friends for almost a year now. He’s been waiting for the perfect opportunity to show you how he really feels. Will he finally make a move when you both end up snuggled at the top of a ferris wheel? 

Relationship: Eddie x Reader

Word Count: appx. 2000

You came into Eddie’s apartment with a knock. Eddie was sitting at his desk, finishing an article. He greeted you over his shoulder before returning to his work. He could hear you moving around behind him. He couldn’t help the smile that took over his face when he heard you making yourself some tea. He never drank anything besides pitch black coffee, but he kept a tea kettle and boxes of all your favorite teas, just for you. He peeked over his shoulder to see you pouring hot water into a light pink mug with a pastel rainbow on it, also something that was only for you. The warm smell of vanilla chai made him smile.

Sometimes Eddie would look around his apartment and feel like the only thing missing was you. It’s been almost a year now since y’all started hanging out, and Eddie felt like he either had to make a move or risk losing you. And he didn’t want to lose you. Eddie had never met anyone like you. You were so...alive. He loved seeing you happy and excited, loved how it lit up your eyes and the way your chin ducked when you laughed deeply. But you weren’t a ‘good vibes only’ type person; Eddie loved how when you were furious or heartbroken you weren’t afraid to feel it. From the first time he met you he’d felt immediately drawn to you. He couldn’t get enough of you and how vibrant you were. He’d never thought he was missing anything in his life–he loved his job and he had great guy friends who got together regularly for sports or cards. He was happy. 

But then he met you; you were soft and funny, and you didn’t care what anyone else thought of you because you liked you. You were kind and loving and you shared your feelings so easily. You brought something so new to his life. He’d become nearly obsessed with your softness, your smiles. And that’s why he had to make a move, let you know how he felt and tonight was the night. 

He shook himself out of his thoughts, closing out his word editor and swiveling around to see you relaxed, laid out on his couch sipping tea, absorbed in a thick black and gold book. He tried not to look too lovesick. He had to ask you out, he had to know if you felt the same as he did. He knew if you gave him the chance he would spend the rest of his life making you smile. And he had a plan.

You could see Eddie from the corner of your eye, but you just relaxed even more into the couch, sipping your tea, letting the warmth soothe you into a dreamy state. The book you were reading was getting good and you couldn’t wait to see where the author took it. You had read for a few more pages before you noticed Eddie stand, stretch, then plop down on the other end of the couch. It wasn’t quite long enough for you to not touch, spread out as you were, so you let your feet rest on Eddie’s thigh, which he pretended to huff at while he channel surfed.

Eddie cleared his throat before breaking the comfortable silence “..hey so I, ah,  I mean I wanted to ask if you were doing anything later?” you peeked over your book and gave your head a small shake, eyes crinkling at the hesitation in his voice “good, yeah, cause I was gonna say I could take you out to that carnival that’s in town? You know, I saw they have some cool shows going on..” he trailed off, chuckling at himself and you nudged him with your foot so he would meet your eyes.

“hey, I can’t wait. I love carnivals. What time do you want to pick me up?” you asked, a bit of teasing in your voice, but warm and sunny nonetheless.

“oh I’m picking you up am I?” Eddie teases back with a wink “how’s 6:30 work for you?”

“that’s perfect” you respond with a bright smile. 

You both lapse back into a comfy silence, with you hiding behind your book so Eddie can’t see your blush or your excited grin–which also meant you couldn’t see Eddie’s ears turn red or the way he had to fight to keep his own smile at a normal level. Around 4 you headed back to your own place to get ready. 

***

You heard a knock at your door and dog-eared your page before skipping into your hall and yanking open the door. Eddie stood there, nose a little red from the chill that was just creeping in. You noticed he’d changed his clothes and smiled to yourself about it. “Hey!” you said brightly “Just give me one moment to put on some shoes, c’mon in.” you left to find a well-loved pair of baby blue and cream vans, pulling them on and tying the laces. You could see Eddie shuffling in the doorway and grinned at him. “will I be cold?” you asked him.

“You? Always. but, yeah, it’s gonna get a little chilly. I could always lend you my coat if you got cold though.” Eddie added on that last bit a little quieter. You were already in your favorite sweatshirt and Eddie ran hot anyway so you decided to take him up on his offer “you wouldn’t mind?” you checked, grabbing your keys. Eddie grunted an affirmative, and you trusted him to know his own mind so you motioned for him to lead the way.

Eddie walked a little ahead of you, which seemed odd until he stopped by your car door first to open it for you. You smiled and thanked him, sliding into the still-warm interior. Eddie kept his car neat (well, aside from the different papers and writings), just another thing you loved about him. Eddie got in too and y’all were on your way. 

outside it was getting dark, but the sky was still a cobalt blue and there was plenty of light to see by. Soon you pulled into a parking space outside the carnival, which was glowing against the dark blue sky like a magical forest of light. Your eyes were huge with wonder and you couldn’t stop the smile taking over your face,

Eddie knew he’d made the right choice asking you here. You experienced each new joy like you might die from its intensity. He loved you. He loved you and tonight he was going to tell you.

Eddie got out of the car, quickly coming around to your side and helping you out. You felt the brisk air on your skin and grinned even brighter. You could see your breath coming out in white wisps. You grabbed Eddie’s arm and pulled him towards the glowing entrance, him pretending to resist only so you would hook your arm fully in his and pull harder. He chuckled, following you happily.

When you got to the ticket booth, Eddie got both your tickets and handed you the classically shaped stub. You tucked it in your pocket–you always held on to sentimental little tidbits, especially with Eddie.

When you got inside the gate it was a wonderland of color and lights and smells. There was the heady smell of frying foods and a grassy smell like summer. There was a hum of happy chatter and music that would be creepy in a horror movie. You were torn on what to look at from the brightly colored tents to the glowing signs and rides. Eddie couldn’t take his eyes off you, the way your face glowed in the multicolor lights. Eddie was just asking you where to start when your stomach grumbled loudly. You giggled and Eddie chuckled. He let you pick what booth to get food from then shooed you away to find a picnic table. A few minutes later Eddie waltzed up, arms laden with frito pies and funnel cake. They were delicious and warm, and you couldn’t help the moan you let out at the first satisfying mouthful. You noticed Eddies ears turning pink and gave him the benefit of the doubt that it was because of the chill. 

You knew Eddie and you had chemistry. You’d known it since you first met. But he’d never made a move to be more than friends, so you just enjoyed the moment. When you finished eating, you grabbed Eddie’s hand and pulled him to the games booths. You weren’t the best shot, but you managed to win a sparkly pink bracelet, which Eddie immediately put on when you gifted it to him. Eddie was much better with hand-eye coordination and even managed to win a respectably sized stuffed bumblebee, which handed to you with a blush. Your squeal of glee wiped away any momentary embarrassment he felt.

You linked hands again as you strolled through the carnival, giggling at the performances and gasping when a fire-eater blew a stream of flame over the crowd’s head. As soon as you passed him though you noticed how cold it had gotten, even with Eddie’s warmth at your side. Before you could even say anything, Eddie was shrugging out of his thick leather jacket draping it over your shoulders. “what?” he said defensively “I was getting too warm anyway.” You pulled his jacket around you tighter and hummed in satisfaction with the warmth. You let Eddie pull you close to him, pretending he was pulling you out of the way of a juggler, but you noticed he kept his arm wrapped around your shoulders even after you’d passed.

“How about that next?” he asked, bending to talk in your ear. You shivered and saw him pointing to the glowing ferris wheel. You nodded, letting your glee light up your face and giving the bumblebee an extra squeeze. Eddie grinned and steered you towards the huge wheel, pulling you closer to his side. 

The line was surprisingly short, so before too long Eddie handed over some tickets to the ride operator, mumbling something to him, and y’all took a seat in the swinging cart. The bench fit but didn’t leave any wiggle room, so you ended up plastered to Eddie, who once again wrapped an arm around you. 

By now the sun had set so the lights of the city glowed bright in the darkness. From the top of the wheel it looked like you and Eddie were floating in space with stars all around. “Eddie...I feel, so full. it’s almost too much, it’s so beautiful I feel like I might burst!” you looked over and saw that Eddie wasn’t looking at the view around you, he was staring at...you.

“iloveyou” his low voice came out in a rush, followed by a very dark blush, but he never broke eye contact. And that’s when you started crying. At first he looked horrified, but you squeezed his hand. 

“I love you too, I have since I met you.” You whispered, not trusting your voice. Eddie breathed a sigh of relief and the hand that had been draped over your arm moved to the back of your head, slipping through your hair to pull you into the best kiss you’d ever had. His lips were soft, contrasted by his rough stubble. You couldn’t help a small moan from escaping, but judging by his responding moan, Eddie didn’t seem to mind. You melted into the kiss, losing sense of everything else around you.

When you pulled back, all you could see was Eddie’s blue-green eyes glowing from the lights below, and you noticed that the corners of his eyes were just a little wet with tears. “hi” you whispered, “hi you” he whispered back. You felt so perfectly happy. You both knew this was where you would end up, from the first second you met. 

“haven’t we been at the top of this for a while? I’m not complaining but...” you asked, a little confused

“oh, yeah, I tipped the operator to give us a bit of extra alone time.” Eddie says with a wink.

You giggle, snuggling closer in to his side, just enjoying this feeling. 

[randomfandomimagine]

Holiday (Cloud Strife x Reader)

Characters: Cloud Strife

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII

Tags: Reader Insert, Gender Neutral Reader, Flirting, Playfulness

Warnings: Hardcore fluff

Word Count: 2,9k words

Requested by anon: Hi!! I'd like to request a ficlet of Cloud and female reader spending a day at the beach in Costa del Sol, I'd love to see Cloud's reaction to seeing her in a bikini and maybe trying to cover her up or protect her from other guys' stares! They could even go swimming or play games together! And then maybe they could go to the Gold Saucer and try the gondola ride or other attractions? I can see Cloud trying to win her a teddy bear but refusing to admit he did it for her haha ;) // Ooh I have another idea, what about Cloud and reader doing a run in the Chocobos? Like maybe Cloud could teach her how to ride a Chocobo, or they could ride one together and maybe fall to the ground together hehe ;) thank you for considering my requests, hopefully any of them will inspire you and I hope you feel better soon 

A/N: I struggled a bit with this one for some reason, it’s a bit messy and quick paced, but I think it turned out pretty cute and fluffy! Enjoy :D

You knocked on the bathroom door, where Cloud was getting changed. After getting no response, you knocked again, growing impatient. How long did it take to put on some swim trunks? You couldn’t wait to go to the beach!

“Cloud!” You whined, also excited to see your boyfriend in a swimsuit. “Are you done?”

The door suddenly opened, and he stood there looking at you. His hands fell on his hips and he nodded his head in your direction.

“Ready” You had to chuckle at his words, because he still wore his tank top and carried his sword. The only change in his attire was the swimming shorts, he even wore his boots.

“You’re unbelievable” You walked behind him. “Taking a sword to the beach?”

“Just in case-” When he noticed you were trying to pick it up, he jolted up. “Careful!”

You yelped when you felt overwhelmed by the weight. Luckily, Cloud moved fast enough to support you before you could fall over. He put the weapon away, eaving it against the wall, and turned back to you again.

His eyes fell over your body, to the curves hinted under your sarong, but just for a moment as he blushed and quickly looked up into your eyes again. Sometimes he was adorable. Now that you were dating, you didn’t expect him to be as shy as usual, but he hadn’t changed.

Trying to save him the embarrassment, you picked up the bag where you kept everything you could need -towels, sunscreen, cool beverages... -and threw it over your shoulder. Before you could take even one step carrying it, however, Cloud took it from you to save you the effort. He didn’t say a word, but the gesture endeared you even more to him.

“Come on!” You held his hand, dragging him out of the room with you. “The beach is waiting for us!”

You started running, excited to finally reach it. Surprisingly, Cloud played into your game and began jogging by your side, not letting go of your hand either. Soon the salty scent of the sea reached you, and you smiled to yourself. Luckily, the beach wasn’t too far, because you were already panting from the dash.

Once you reached the sand, you didn’t lose one second. While Cloud took his shirt off and lay the towels down, you got rid of your sarong and flip flops and watched the soothing sight of the waves calmly crashing on the shore.

“Cloud” You turned to him, slightly bashful as you tried not to stare at his bare chest. “Wanna go for a swim?”

“Maybe later” His eyes didn’t meet you, too busy focused on the people around you.

Following his gaze, you realized what had him so upset. Certain people had no problem in taking a good look at you in your swimsuit. It made you self-conscious but you didn’t really mind. You weren’t the only one they were looking at anyway. Turning back to your boyfriend to allow yourself to really take in his slim but strong physique, you understood why.

Suddenly, he pulled you flat against him. Bracing yourself, your hands instinctively flew to his stomach. You could feel his defined abs against your palm, causing you to blush. But he didn’t notice, tightly wrapping his arms around you to hide your exposed skin.

“Cloud?” You peered up at him, finally locking eyes.

“They’re staring” He replied, frowning as his blue eyes fell over you. “Should’ve brought my sword”

“You don’t think people stare at you too, handsome?” You giggled, amused by his pout. “Let them look, you’re the only one who can get close”

He paused for a moment, but then sighed and loosened his grip on you.

“You’re right, sorry... I just got-”

“Jealous?” 

“You’re making this real hard on me, Y/N...”

You laughed a little, and repressed the urge to pinch his cheek. You had been teasing him enough already and you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. Instead, you pointed a thumb over your shoulder. 

“I’ll just go to the water for a bit” As you took a few steps back, Cloud nodded his head and sat down on the towel. “You’re welcome to join me whenever you want”

“Got it” Was his dry response, despite the fact that his eyes never left you.

You walked slowly, feeling the drastic shift between the hot sun kissed sand and the fresh ocean water under your toes. You feet settled on the solid wet sand under them as the water softly went up and down with the tide, circling your ankles and then retreating once more. 

Walking further once you were a bit accustomed to the lower temperature, the water now reached up to your knees. A wave returned to the shore, making you stumble with its force. Turning to Cloud and smiling to yourself in pure enjoyment of the moment, you saw he was still looking at you.

You energetically waved at him. Seemingly annoyed at your playfulness, he only stared. You stuck your tongue out at him and waved again. Resigned, he waved back at you. He was always trying so hard to play it cool... Well, you were determined to enjoy every second of your holiday. 

Before you could turn around to face the horizon, however, a bigger wave came behind you, roughly crashing into you and throwing you to the ground. When you glanced at him, Cloud’s expression had changed from annoyed to worried as he ran to you. You held your head low, too amused by his exaggerated response.

“You okay?!” He urgently pulled you to your feet, his hands gentle around you, and you still struggled not to laugh. “Y/N...”

Taking your behavior the wrong way, he scooped you into his arms, concerned. Still trying to suffocate your laughter, you hid your face on his neck.

“Talk to me, are you hurt?” His words broke you completely, because how could you be actually hurt from that? It was really sweet, but also hilarious to you. He was always so dramatic.

“I’m not hurt, I’m...” 

“Are you... laughing?” Cloud let out a shaky breath, piercing eyes focused on you.

“Sorry... I’m sorry” You heard him loudly sigh as he gently carried you still.

“Don’t do that” He complained, and you could almost hear his heart still racing.

“Why, were you worried?” You looked right into his eyes and cutely tilted your head at him. “Huh, boyfriend?”

“Y/N...” His voice held a tone of vexation as he gently lowered you into the ground.

As soon as your bare feet touched the wet sand once more, you began running around him.

“Are you mad at me?”

“A little”

“Really? Watcha gonna do?”

“You’ll see”  

“You’ll have to catch me first, big boy!”

You splashed water at him, trying to finally get him to open up a bit. Knowing Cloud, he was holding himself back. You could see it in his eyes, that he wanted to have fun with you. Because he was stoic, strong, serious and hermetic. But he was also kind, sensitive, thoughtful and shy. 

“Stop it” Giving in, Cloud chased after you. Utterly astonished by this, you screamed as you ran away from him. The water around your ankles slowed you down.

When he caught up to you, Cloud took you by the hips and easily lifted you off your feet. He carried you back to the dry hot sand while you yelped and laughed at the top of your lungs. You even heard him chuckle in response to your noises.

“That’ll teach you” He said in your ear, and suddenly his voice was playful.

You laughed when he lightly squeezed your sides, effectively tickling you. You turned around to be face to face with him and pouted your bottom lip. As you expected, he yielded at the sight of your adorable expression.

“War’s over” You joked, brushing your lips against him. He immediately relaxed under your touch, giving into the brief kiss. “I win”

“You’re killing me here” Mildly embarrassed by your interactions, it was him who pouted at you know. “Why did I agree to this?”

“It was your idea!” 

“Yeah, ‘cause I know how much you wanted to go on a holiday together”

Cloud swore under hsi breat at the look of utter adoration you gave him in response to those words. He knew you well enough to realize it would only earn him more teasing. 

“You did it for me? Aw, Cloud” You put your arms around his neck and hugged him. “Don’t pout! Enjoy yourself, silly”

“Stop it with the nickames” He frowned, actually sounding upset.

For once you started to believe he was legitimaly having a bad time. Your face fell at the thought that he was mindlessly letting you drag him along but was loathing every second of it.

“Y-You don’t like them?” 

“I didn’t say...”

For a moment, you locked eyes. It was the first time since you arrived, even after your long journey, that you really connected with each other’s emotions. Cloud suddenly understood why you were so excited and eager. It wasn’t because of the holidays, or the beach, or all the new things. It was because you were sharing them with him. And you saw that he wasn’t being broody just because, he was trying to act cool as usual, but that he was truly flustered and slightly overwhelmed by everything.

“If you don’t like the beach we can go back to the hotel and-”

“It’s not that” His hand lovingly cupped your cheek. “Maybe dial it down a bit?”

You paused, taken aback by the sweetness in his voice and the amorous look in his beautiful eyes. Then you smiled and nodded your head.

“Sure” You chuckled, pressing a hand against his and reveling on his warm touch. “And you could let yourself go a bit more”

“Not happening” Cloud turned his face away, but you could see a flirtatious grin playing at the corner of his lips. He was trying, going along with your demeanor.

A sudden wave of fondness for him hit you. He could be so sweet... You could tell how much he cared, how much he loved you. And it made your heart sing.

“C’mon, grumpy! You’re allowed to have fun!” You took his hand and pulled at it. “It’s only you and me now, relax”

“Fine” He gave in, beginning to walk alongside the shore. “Only for you”

-

Cloud clicked his tongue, turning to you in defeat. You watched him in curiosity, surprised that he seemed to enjoy those little games so much. When you suggested to go to Gold Saucer, you didn’t expect it to actually become part of the plan, and you certainly didn’t expect Cloud to get so into it.

“I’ll try again” Was all he said, buying another ticket.

“Since when are you so proud, Cloud?” You teased him, nudging him a little.

He didn’t respond, focusing on his aim. However, before he threw the ball at the bottles, you noticed how his eyes kept drifting to the big teddy bear at the top of the display. 

You smiled, reading his mind and the reason behind his stubbornness. Endeared by this, you leaned closer to kiss him in the cheek. He frowned and looked at you, but you only giggled and shrugged.

“For good luck” You said as an excuse, knowing he wouldn’t admit his reasons so you wouldn’t admit yours. 

The start of a smile grew on his lips, but it never settled there as the concetration took over his features. You watched in expectation, following his every move as he prepared to throw the ball. When he did, you happilly cheered after it collided with the bottles and knocked them all down.

“Congratulations” The stand keeper reluctantly said, clearly annoyed that Cloud won. “Choose your prize”

Your boyfriend didn’t hesitate, silently pointing a finger to the teddy bear. As soon as the man gave it to him, Cloud humbly handed it to you. 

“Was that why you were so determined?” You asked, hugging the plushie, even if you knew the answer already. “So you could win me something?”

“No...” He simply replied, averting his gaze. “I knew I almost had it”

“Thanks anyway” You winked at him, which was enough to fluster him.

“Welcome” He muttered, although his voice sounded slightly deeper than usual.

“Let’s go on a ride!” You took him by the arm, clutching the teddy bear in your free one. 

You ran at top speed with him closely trailing behind you, dragged along. When you reached the entrance of the roller coaster, you were almost vibrating in excitement. The ride stopped before you on the rails, and you turned to Cloud.

“Hey...” You saw how he eyed it warily, and how his muscles tensed under your grip. “Something wrong?”

“Um...” He blinked repeatedly, then turning to glance at you. “No”

To further demonstrate, Cloud climbed in before you. Hesitating yourself, you watched him for a moment. He tightly held on to the security bar while he waited for you to get in. Knowing him as you did, it felt like he was dreading the moment the ride started.

“Everything okay, Cloud?” You slowly sat by him, placing the plushie between you two. “You look a little-”

“I’m fine” He rushed to say, even if he didn’t look at you.

You opened your mouth to reply, but never got to say anything. Just then the attraction started. Cloud gasped in anticipation, but you yelped in excitement. Still, you couldn’t hep but to glance at him with the corner of your eye. You knew better than to think he was scared of rollercoasters, it seemed unlike him. Then what was the problem?

The issue momentarily left your mind as its speed claimed your attention, making you scream at the top of your lungs and throw your arms into the air. To add on to the many and incredibly emotions of the day, the adrenaline began racing through your veins. The ride climb upwards, only to throw you down again even faster. It made your heart race in a way only Cloud had before. You were thrown upside down with the last loop as the path went flat again and the rocky ride came to a halt.

Still coming off that high, you stumbled out of the ride. When you turned around to share your excitement, you looked over at Cloud. You saw the state he was in and realized it was worse than you thought.

“Ugh...” He struggled to stand, and he was extremely pale.

“Are you okay, Cloud?” Worried, you rushed to hold him up. He appreciated your support, resting his arm over your shoulders and resting part of his weight on you.

“Dizzy...” He held a hand to his forehead, shutting his eyes tight.

“Let’s sit down for a moment” You wrapped your arm around his waist, walking with him towards a close by bench. He took it slow but you were patient.

As soon as you neared the bench, he plopped down on it and groaned.

“Has this happened before?” You asked him, kindly stroking his arm.

Keeping his eyes closed, Cloud weakly nodded his head. You grit your teeth, equal times endeared that he kept it silent for your sake and annoyed that he put himself through that knowing the result.

“Why didn’t you tell me something?” You gently took at his arm, easying him down until his head rested over your lap. “Lay down, Cloud, as long as you need to”

Worried and empathetic to his unwell, you softly caressed his hair. Cloud tightened an arm around his stomach, letting the other one fall limply off the side of the bench.

“No...” He uttered, making an effort. “Don’t wanna ruin your day”

“It’s not ruined as long as I’m with you” You comforted him. “Besides, it’s not fun unless you’re having fun too”

He groaned again, and you hated to see him like that. Cloud parted his lips, but he must have been feeling so sick that he didn’t manage to say anything. You took mental note of his motion sickness to avoid it in the future.

“Can you do something to make it better?”

“No... Just wait until it passes”

“Okay, just breathe and try to relax” Hoping it worked, you put your teddy bear on his chest. “Mini Cloud here will look after you too”

“Mini... Cloud?” He repeated in confusion, opening one eye.

“Yeah, because he’s soft just like you, softie” You joked, and were pleasantly surprised to see him smiling in response.

Another wave of dizziness hit him, and he groaned yet again as he closed his eyes tight. One of his arms did wrap around the plushie, though.

“There’s no rush, Cloud” As a comforting gesture, you rested your hand over his chest. “We’ll wait until you feel okay” 

Continuing to sink your fingers into his soft hair, you didn’t stop stroking it. He didn’t complain, and in fact his tense expression relaxed slightly. After a few more seconds of silence in which his spinning world settled, his free hand fell over yours.

“Thank you, Y/N” The way he said it, you knew there was something more behind his words. Something that he was saying for the first time to you, and that caused your heart to skip a beat. Three words that, although different from the traditional ones, meant the same thing.

“You too, Cloud”

-

Tag list: @call-me-harley-quinn​ / @anxiouslyreckless​ / @xionroxas​ / @dancewaterdance02​ / @little-faerie-artist​ / @x-joie-x​ / @honeybunhanbin​ / @legallyblindgamer727​ / @goodmorningawfulbye​ / @trunks-kiwi​ / @ron-sparky-speirs​ / @imaginealllthefandoms​​ / @lotsoffandomstoimagine​ // If you want to be added or taken off the tag list for these fandoms or characters, let me know!! // Reblogs and comments are appreciated!

[mytwilightimagines13]

Amnesia (Book Two)(Part Three)(Alec Volturi(

Gift

The kiss got slightly rougher, and Maeryn pushed Alec against the wall, leaving small cracks on the wall behind him, but neither seemed to notice. The mixture of the burning of their hunger for blood and each other’s touch was driving them mad, and they needed more. Maeryn pulled Alec closer to her, not knowing her own strength yet. Alec groaned slightly and pulled away. “Carefull, amore mio. You are way stronger than me now.” He whispered in her ear. “Or maybe you just can no longer handle me.” Maeryn whispered back before giving him a playful wink. Alec growled playfully. Maeryn giggled and ran off, Alec following close behind her. Maeryn laughed as she felt the lovely feeling of the wind playing with her hair. Alec was close behind her and used shortcuts to try and grab her. But Maeryn pushed herself to go faster and use the trees to jump and give her even more speed. Maeryn could no longer hear Alec behind her, making her believe she had lost him. Maeryn laughed in victory and continued to run for a little longer. However, her moment of feeling victorious was short lived, as she soon was tripped and fell to the ground, making her and her attacked roll down a hill. Maeryn hissed and growled, but her attacker held her hands above her head. “Never challenge an older vampire, amore mio. It can be quite dangerous.” The seducing voice of Alec whispered in her ear. Maeryn relaxed almost immediately once she had heard his voice and smelt his lovely scent of rain, roses and sunshine. Alec moved his lips slowly towards her neck and caressed his favourite spot with his lips. Maeryn closed her eyes and lightly moved her head back, giving him more space to roam his lips. “Hmm, maybe I like to play dangerous games.” She whispered back, her own singing voice now slightly seductive. Alec growled slightly and kissed her once more, giving in to his lust. Maeryn smirked against his lips, knowing very well what she is doing to him. Their lips moved in sync as the quiet night was filled with the sound of their stone hard lips colliding in love and lust.

Maeryn rolled them over and pushed Alec’s arms above his head, just like he done to her just mere seconds ago. She pulled her lips from his and he opened his eyes, patiently waiting to see what her next move will be.  “You were holding back before.” She stated, almost in an accusing kind of way. “Yes I did.” He said, a smirk around his lips. Maeryn was slightly taken back by this and Alec took his chance. He freed his arms and placed them tightly around her waist, sitting them both up with her in his lap. He placed his lips once more against her neck, lightly grazing his fangs on her now hard skin. “If I’d let myself go like I do now, I would have claimed you and drained you, amore mio. And I am too selfish to lose you. You are mine, for all eternity.” He whispered against her neck. Maeryn smiled. “And you are mine.” Was all she said before they sealed their small vows with a kiss filled with love. “Maeryn! You’re back!” Jane said the minute Alec and Maeryn walked through the iron gate that lead to the cave system under the castle. Jane ran up to Maeryn and kissed both her cheeks. “What? Maeryn gets a hello, yet your brother, who has been your brother for over a millennium might I add, doesn’t even get a glance?” Alec said, pretending to be hurt. Jane rolled her eyes before also kissing both her brother’s cheeks. Maeryn giggled “Hello, Jane. It is great to see you again.” “It has been quiet around here. You have been gone for at least a week. I hope you had a good hunt. The first hunt is always the most memorable.” Jane said as she smirked slightly a Alec, who returned her smirk. Their first hunt was one they would surely never forget. Maeryn frowned slightly, she could remember Alec mentioning his first hunt, but her human memories where quite blurry. “Now, come on. The masters are waiting for your arrival.” Jane said as she started to skip gracefully towards the throne room. Alec chuckled at his sister childlike behaviour and grabbed Maeryn’s hand. “Ready to become a true Volturi?” he asked as he kissed her hand lightly. Maeryn smiled. “Yes I am.” She replied and the couple followed Jane into the throne room. “Ah Alec, Maeryn! It is such a pleasure to see your return. I hope you had a good hunt, dear ones?” Aro said as he made his way towards the couple. He kissed both Maeryn’s cheeks lightly before turning to Alec to greet him. Aro shook Alec’s hand, reading his thoughts at the same time. Aro smiled and released Alec’s hand. “I see everything went well. And don’t worry, dear Maeryn. The first year is quite difficult with the thirst. I promise we will help you through this, painful yet exciting period of your immortal life.” Aro said smiling. Maeryn bowed her head lightly. “Thank you master.” She replied. “Dear Maeryn, we would be honoured to have you be a part of our family. And we are sure to use your abilities and gift to the full extend. Would you please accept our offer?” Aro asked. Maeryn smiled proudly. “I would be honoured, master.” Maeryn replied, knowing Alec and Jane had the same proud smiles on their mouths as Maeryn had. “Felix, Demetri.” Aro said, motioning with his hand. Felix and Demetri both stepped foreward. Felix was holding a dark grey cloak, identical to Alec’s and Jane’s cloaks, while Demetri was holding a jewellery box. Alec took a small step back, looking at his mate with proud in his eyes. Aro grabbed the cloak from Felix. “Thank you, Felix” he said. Felix bowed his head slightly. “Master.” Was all he said before he made his way back to the left side of the door. Aro turned towards Maeryn. He gently placed the cloak on her shoulders before clasping it shut. Aro turned towards Demetri, who had now opened the jewellery box, revealing a beautiful necklace with the Volturi crest made from pure gold hanging from a golden chain. Maeryn turned around and Aro clasped the necklace around her neck. Maeryn turned back around, feeling proud. “Welcome, Maeryn Volturi!” Aro exclaimed excitedly before returning to his throne while every member of the Volturi present in the throne room

excitedly applauded for their new coven and family member. And in that moment, Maeryn felt very proud. Powerful. She was now part of the most powerful coven in the entire world, and she knew that no other coven could possibly bring them down. They were too powerful, and Maeryn also knew that. In Alec’s excitement, he grabbed Maeryn by her waist unexpectedly and kissed her, right in front of the whole coven. Maeryn smiled and returned his kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck. However, a small cough pulled the couple back towards reality. “Alec.” Aro said in a fatherly tone, yet a small smile displayed on his lips. Alec cleared his throat lightly while Maeryn looked down at her feet, trying to hide her smile. “My apologies master.” Alec said as he bowed. “Not to worry, dear one.” Aro said smiling fatherly. “Just don’t distract her while she is training.” Caius said, as a small smile had also reached his lips. He had grown fond of the girl. “Now hurry up. Maeryn needs to be prepared well. Felix, Demetri, Jane and Alec, you know how to help her.” Aro said. The five vampires bowed their heads before making their way out and towards a training room. Inside the room, was a vampire tied to a sturdy pole. At a closer look you could see the vampire had been weakened due to lack of blood. The thought of that made Maeryn’s throat burn and she hissed slightly under her breath. Alec grabbed her hand in his and rubbed soothing circles on the top of her hand. Maeryn took a deep breath and relaxed, feeling the fire slightly lay down, but the irritating drought remained within her throat. A drought that never seemed to fully leave her throat, no matter how much blood she had. But it was a small price to pay for her immortality and abilities as a vampire. Not even mentioning the eternity she had with Alec. Nothing would ever separate them again. Once the vampire had noticed the five vampire’s presence, he started to fierce fully growl and hiss, while trying to release himself from the pole. Jane smiled at him and soon the vampire was screaming out in pain. Maeryn watched and felt very intrigued by Jane’s gift. “Now be a good help, and you will be put out of your misery soon enough.” Jane said sweetly before skipping over towards Felix and Demetri. “We are going to train your gift mostly. As that will be the most protection you can have. Focus on this man.” Alec explained. Maeryn nodded her head and focused her attention on the already weakened vampire. He was quite handsome, but not too handsome. He had dirty blond locks which were tied back by a small string of leather. His clothes where old and ripped. His oversized, white shirt was hanging from his fragile frame while the darkened brown trousers seemed to be slightly too small. His face was flawless, yet seemed slightly grey from the lack of blood. His onyx eyes only confirmed this theory. Maeryn tried to concentrate but wasn’t quite sure as to how her gift had first occurred and how the outcome of her would be, now that she was a vampire. Alec noticed her struggling and he gently placed his hands on her hips, placing his lips closely to her ear. “Imagine him being Diablo. Imagine what he has done to you and to so many people. Make him pay, Maeryn. Make him suffer.” He whispered in her ear. The mention of Diablo’s name made Maeryn rage with anger. Her right arm started to shake as she saw Diablo now tied to the pole instead of the vulnerable and weak vampire. Maeryn saw Diablo’s satisfied smirk and she lost it. Slowly her hand turned into a fist and the vampire screamed in agony. Cracks slowly started to form on his skin, and the sound of metal breaking could be heard. And before anyone could have jumped in, before anyone could have saved the vampire, he was no more. All that was left was the vampire’s clothes, covered by a pile of dust. For a short while, the whole room had been quiet. Maeryn stared the pile of clothes and dust, a pile that had shortly been a vampire. Then the silence was disturbed by a small applause. Aro and Caius had been watching from a corner, Renate

close by them. “Wonderful! Absolutely mesmerizing!” Aro said, a huge smile around his lips. Caius also showed, a rather rare, smile. “Your gift is truly inspiring, my dear Maeryn. Now I do wonder, Renate, dear one.” Aro said as he turned around. Renate took a step forward. Renata had black hair and was slight in build, being 1m52 in height. “Yes master?” she replied giving a small bow. “I am just wondering dear, if we may have finally find a way to break through shields. You see, Maeryn, Renata's gift is the ability to divert physical attacks. She repels them by implanting a thought in their minds to make them want to go in another direction, with a confused memory as to why they wanted to go there in the first place. Her repelling power is powerful but almost unnoticeable. Renata is also able to project her shield several meters out from herself to protect others. Now, I just simply wonder. Renate, if you’d please like to expand your shield?” Aro said. Renate seemed slightly unsure but didn’t felt any need to question her master. She concentrated and spread her shield to halfway into the training room. Maeryn took a deep breath and concentrated. At first she couldn’t see Renate’s shield at all, until she started to concentrate very hard and noticed a small, almost completely transparent spot, and Maeryn knew this was Renate’s shield. Maeryn took another, much unnecessary breath, and followed her gift. Her arm raised and her hand was stretched wide open. Maeryn concentrated hard on the spot she had found in Renate’s shield and slowly her arms started to shake once more as he hand slowly started to form into a fist again. Only halfway through closing her hand, something held her back. She couldn’t go any further. At first she thought nothing was happening but Maeryn did see very delicate cracks forming on Renate’s shield and she also noticed that Renate was having slight trouble by keeping her shield strong, as she gave another hard push which forced Maeryn’s hand to fully open again, taking the force away from Renate’s shield. Aro laughed in excitement and clapped his hands together. “My dear Maeryn. This is absolutely fascinating. Please, do keep practicing your gift. Renate, please do help her. This will be very useful in the protection of our family.” Aro said as he and Caius left the training room. Maeryn felt very proud and couldn’t wait to continue training her gift, feeling more powerful each time she could control her gift even better. And, even though she couldn’t crack Renate’s shield completely, it did leave cracks that where big enough for Felix and Demetri to break through and attack her, making her vulnerable to physical attacks. “Come on, that is enough for today, amore mio.” Alec said as he grabbed Maeryn’s hand. They had just finished training for over 10 hours, yet Maeryn still liked to continue. But looking at Alec and his slightly pleading expression, she gave in. “Alright.” Maeryn agreed and the couple made their way towards Alec’s room. Once inside, Alec closed the door and pressed Maeryn against it, taking her by surprise. But the surprise wouldn’t last for long as Alec placed his lips upon hers, claiming what was his. Maeryn gladly returned the kiss as she wrapped her arms around his neck, a small moan escaping her lips. This only made Alec’s ego grow as he gently placed his hands on the back of her knees, bringing them up to his lips. Maeryn smiled and tightly wrapped them around his waist, not wanting to let him go. Alec walked over towards the bed, not breaking their kiss once, and gently laid Maeryn on the bed, crawling on top of her. Maeryn smiled and unclasped his cloak, making it fall onto the bed. Alec did the same to her cloak and started to kiss her neck, and sucked on his favourite spot, earning him a sweet moan from Maeryn’s lips. However, before anything could escalate, Alec pulled away and looked into his mates bright crimson eyes with his burgundy ones, who also where quite bright due to the huge hunt he had just returned from. He gently stroked her cheek, to which Maeryn

responded by resting her face in his palm. “Whatever you want, amore mio. We can also wait.” He whispered softly to her. Maeryn, even with her newborn emotions, or more lack of them, was quite touched by this and felt a slight clear moment in her head. A moment that wasn’t filled with thirst for human blood or lust to her mate, no, a real clear moment where she could think straightly. Ofcourse she wanted to give in to his sweet touch, but would she want to do that while she wasn’t completely herself yet? How she was now was a vampire who was consumed by her thirst for blood and lust for her mate, most of her secondary emotions hadn’t returned yet, and would most likely not until her first year as a vampire. “You would wait for me?” Maeryn whispered back, placing her hand lovingly on his. “I have waited a millennium for you, I can wait a little longer. As long as you would like me to wait.” Alec whispered back, not wanting to hurt his mate in any way. Maeryn smiled and kissed the palm of his hand. “I would like to wait. At least until I am no longer a newborn.” She whispered. Alec smiled. “Then we will wait. Just having you in my arms is enough to satisfy my needs.” He whispered before placing his lips onto hers again. This time, giving a sweet kiss, filled not with lust, but with love.

[sylvie-writes]

Exhausting yet Fun

Request: hey it’s my birthday on the 5th and I was wondering if I could request a fic/hc about Steve? Maybe there was a surprise party that the team put together for the reader and there were games and all that. Don’t feel pressured to do this though, I completely understand. Thank you anyways! @marvelfanatic16

Hiya hon! I really wanted to write this for you, so here’s my early present to you hehe! Happy Early Birthday!!! (I would’ve queued this but why not post it now?) 

So sorry if this is bad and/or not what you wanted. I’m preparing for school soon and my brain is already in shambles. I just really wanted to give you this!

The title tho..

“Babe, wake up.” Steve gently shook your shoulder, whispering in an attempt to wake you up. 

This morning you and Sam went for a run after you lost a bet the other day. 

“So if the team likes my mac n cheese better, you and I are gonna go running.” 

“Keep dreaming, Sammy.” You patted Sam’s shoulder, confidently walking away with a hot pot of mac n cheese, your grandmother’s recipe. There was absolutely no way you would lose. 

“Sam, is that bacon!” - Bucky

“Oh my god, this tastes like liquid gold with pieces of heavenly bacon.” - Tony

“Don’t break up with me darling, but the bacon is killerrrr.” - Steve

Famous last words- “There was absolutely no way you would lose.” 

Needless to say, you and Sam had shaken on that deal, there was no turning back. 

So this morning from 3am to 6am Sam had you running, jogging, sprinting. Whatever you’d like to call it, bottom line, it was painful. 

To make matters worse it was your birthday and no one had said a single word yet. 

It’s not like you were trying to be vain or anything, but one day out of the year, it’s nice to feel loved!

As soon as torture time was over, you hopped in a car and headed back to the compound. 

Maybe it should’ve been an ambulance

Sam dropped you off at the front before driving off once again. Where was he going at 6:30 in the morning?

You had no clue and if you weren’t exhausted you would’ve bugged him about it.

Moopping to the bathroom, you started a hot shower, grabbing epsom salt for your jelly-like legs. 

It’s not that you were physically inactive, no, it was the fact that Sam has suddenly started to run faster, almost catching up to Steve and Bucky’s speed. Come to find out they’ve been training him.   

At 7:45 am, now clean and fresh, yet still tired, you crawled back into bed. Steve’s light snores signaling he was still out like a log. Or so you thought.

Turning on your side, your back to Steve, you shut your eyes, until you felt warm hands on your shoulder.

Just as you were about to turn, Steve shushed you. 

“Shhh, just go to sleep, doll.” 

His sleepy morning voice was groggy but adorable. You could tell he was just as sleepy yet he still continued to lightly massage your shoulders, sending you to sleep. 

Now, it was 1 pm and Steve was trying to wake you.

It was a plan.

Last night, the mac n cheese.

Everyone had come together to conspire a plan for your birthday. They all knew you were never one to back down from a challenge. So when opportunity presented itself, they gladly took it.

In reality, your mac n cheese would’ve won had not everyone decided to let Sam win, now enabling them to have time to plan for your surprise party. 

While Sam took you on the longest route in hopes of tiring you out, the team rested, knowing very well you’d sleep for hours into the afternoon.

When Sam had dropped you off, little did you know that he was going to get your party decorations and cake.

Andddd while you were sleeping, Steve and the rest of the team decorated the compound. 

Your eyes slowly fluttered open as you turned on your back to see a showered and dressed Steve sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Can I help you, sir?” 

Steve chuckled and then grabbed your hands, tenderly helping you out of the bed, holding you upright as you were still trying to wake up. 

Reaching behind you, he grabbed a fresh cup of coffee, which you happily took, the warmth of the steam hitting your face, a bliss feeling. 

“To answer your question, when you're ready, get dressed and meet me in my office.”

A kiss on your cheek and he was gone, and out the door.

Slightly confused, you finished your coffee and left to go get ready. 

At 1:43 pm exactly, you walked out of the bedroom and towards the elevator, taking the route to Steve’s office which was two floors above you. 

Once again, little did you know, Steve really just wanted you to deliberately miss the kitchen and common room, where the rest of the team resided with all the decorations and games. 

It was an annual thing with the team to have a game nice once or twice every month. You all played games from Uno, Battleship, Apples to Apples. 

You name it, you played it.

Well, an all time favorite was monopoly, where you all would get on teams and see who’d have the most property and money at the end. A game Tony was terrible at playing. 

Soooo they had it for your birthday! 

Board games with the team were absolutely hilarious. 

You’d all play mario kart but last time that happened, this got a little out of hand, literally. *ahem Natasha* 

She may or may not have tried to rip off Bucky's metal arm…

You opened the door to Steve’s office and he immediately jumped up from his desk, totally not fiddling with something in his hand. 

He shoved the thing in his pocket and nervously chuckled walking up to you. 

“You look gorgeous as always.” He held out his arm and you looped yours within, curious as to why you were leaving the office when you had just shown up.

In the elevator, you could tell Steve was nervous, his foot slightly tapping.

“Are you okay, Grant?” 

Grant- a term of endearment you’d always use for Steve. 

Unlocking his eyes from the floor, he looked at you and smiled, like he was relieved. 

“Definitely.” Steve pecked your lips and escorted you out of the elevator as the door opened up.

Upon entering, you rounded the corner and to the common room, in which the lights were off. 

You almost went to turn on the lights when they shot on and the team popped up from their hiding places. 

Startled, you jumped onto Steve as he and the team laughed, you joining in on the laughter. 

“Happy Birthday, (y/n)!!!!” 

You walked forward and smiled gleefully, your cheeks were hurting from smiling so much but it was impossible not to. 

“Guys-you didn’t have to do all this for me.” Your hand covered your mouth as you took in all of their lovely work. Wanda came up and hugged you, the other team members coming up to do the same.

“Of course we did! We love you, (y/n).” 

At Wanda’s statement you just hugged her tightly and let out happy tears.

This team- well your family! They have shown you so much love, how could you not cry? It was a nice feeling to feel loved and appreciated. 

Soon after all the salutations, Steve put his hand on the small of your back leading you to the kitchen, where the lights were also off. 

The team followed suit, Tony telling F.R.I.D.A.Y to turn on the lights. 

The relaxing ambiance of yellow lights, shown on a beautiful birthday cake. 

One Sam had gone to pick up from your favorite bakery, which when you later found out and hugged him to death. 

Too caught up in the cake you hadn’t even noticed Steve until he spoke up, the team all standing around with their phones, you looked at them and then down at your boyfriend, on his knee. 

Steve’s hand was shaking as he held out a box, and you just wanted to soothe his nerves. 

He was so adorable you just smiled sweetly at him as if telling him to proceed. 

“Doll, (y/n), I love you so much, you’ve been here for me, you are loyal, loving, and funny. My best friend, and I don’t know what I’d ever do without you. Will you do me the honor of making me the happiest man alive by marrying me?” 

His little speech was just the cutest and you vigorously shook your head. The ring slipped perfectly on your finger.

Steve stood up and you flung your arms around his neck as he swung you in a circle.

Setting you down, Steve then leaned in for a kiss, the team cheering you on.

The excitement of the proposal was the main topic over the delicious cake, the team already preparing for your wedding.

After cake, Tony giddily whipped out Monopoly, already predicting his win, the total opposite of what actually happened. 

Let’s just say that Tony can never. ever. be the banker again. 

To end your lovely birthday, you and the team sat around on the couch, watching a comedy Bucky had found. 

Joyful laughter filled the room as you looked down at your ring, smiling. Sighing blissfully then leaning into Steve’s arm. 

This indeed had been the best birthday, the team succeeding in their mission. 

These people were definitely your family and this man beside you, your husband to-be. 

[capricornus-rex]

The Haunt of Redemption (7)

Sequel to: A Path I Can’t Follow

Chapter 7: What The Heart Beckons | Cal Kestis x Reader

Summary: It has been months since your last encounter with Cal, at that time he was a fledgling Inquisitor. In an ironic twist of fate, you cross paths and blades with him once again, and he’s keen on turning you into an Inquisitor as well—unless you bring him back to the light first.

Tags: Dark Side! Cal Kestis, Inquisitor! Cal Kestis, Redemption Arc! Cal Kestis

Also posted in AO3

Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 | Previous: Chapter 6 | Next: Chapter 8 | Masterlist

7 of ?

You apologize to Obi-Wan profusely for giving him this responsibility.

“Oh come now, there’s no need for apologies,” he smiled. “I believe there is a reason for all of this.”

“What is?”

“Everything happening right now, and I truly believe that there’s an endgame. Though, I can’t say for sure if it will benefit the good or the bad.”

“Well, the only way to find out is to see how it all plays until the very end. What I’m in is just another part of the game,”

“Indeed.”

He joined you outside his abode and taught you a shorter way to your ship, it was a path that leads you away from the places where the Tusken Raiders are more likely to be found.

“Just keep low by the rocks,” Obi-Wan added.

“Got it. Thank you, Master Kenobi,” you said as you slung your bag and headed downhill.

“Oh, and [y/n]?” his call stopped your in your tracks, you look back and find him smiling. “May the Force be with you.”

A load from your chest dissolved, your heart felt light after hearing those words.

“May the Force be with you, Master Kenobi.” You bid back and headed out this time for sure.

You were thankful that he gave you directions to a shortcut, which was significantly shorter in terms of travel time and easier to traverse on. There were no animals that you could tame and ride like the Varans; you could only see those large, brown beasts that move slower than a Slyyyg’s pace and gave up on searching possible mounts to make the trip faster.

Halfway in, you uncapped a bottle and brought its nozzle to your mouth—careful not to spill, you gulped every cold drop that frostbit the walls of your throat. You had to conserve the water while you’re still out in the open. Along the way, the tense heat has finally subsided—but it only meant that it’s getting dark soon. Gold and indigo colors mingled in the sky over the horizon, the twin suns changed from a harsh, blinding white-yellow light, it dimmed down to a soft orange hue.

“It’s beautiful, BD,” you sighed.

“Woooo!”

“Shame he’s not here to see it. He always liked sunsets. I wonder if he still does,”

The ridge where the Mantis sat by was close. Cere could see you from below, she’s sitting by the open entry ramp with Merrin and Greez waiting outside the ship. From where you stand, you slid down the slope of sand and jumped down at the end with the sand cushioning the impact of your landing.

“Gods, [y/n], what happened to you?!” Merrin exclaimed, the first thing she noticed was the purple patch on your face.

“I ran into some… locals. I don’t think they like visitors,” you blurted.

“I’ll go get some ice for that,” the Nightsister rushed into the ship and you could hear the clattering of the cabinet doors.

“Well, how did it go?” Cere asked.

“It went actually better than I hoped for. I’ll tell you on the way,” you shifted to Greez. “Can the ship make another jump?”

“Right, of course! Let me just fire the old girl up!” he dryly chuckled and then sprinkled in some extra grumbling as he waddled into the ship.

“He was more eccentric than I hoped,” you snickered as you and Cere entered the ship together.

You hopped right into your seat in the ship and typed another string of coordinates into the computer. From your periphery, you saw Greez peeking over your shoulder as a small image of the planet flashes on the screen.

“Where… are you taking us this time?”

“Alyon, it’s a remote planet. Tropical and temperate. You’d love it there, Greez!”

“Oh sure, I love overworking my sweat glands with severely humid tropical temperature!”

You shot him your smug face, “Punch it then.”

The Mantis appeared in the sky, Obi-Wan watched the ship fly away out of the atmosphere until it was nothing but a silver speck in the clouds. He gave out a resigned sigh, turned to the other side of Tatooine’s horizon, something about that small, white dome sitting in the middle of nowhere made him smile. He retreated into his cottage as the suns begin to sink.

Thankfully, Tatooine and Alyon are in the same system, although there was a stretch of distance between them; Greez said not to worry as the Mantis could cover the distance without overworking the lightspeed compressor.

Everyone won’t admit it, but they’re anxious once they’re in deep space. Greez was beginning to regret declining your offer in outfitting more powerful ion cannons on the Mantis, however, it’s doing well so far. The scanners weren’t picking up any blips, it was also negative on Cere’s side—she’s not picking up any Imperial signals.

“They can still calculate our last known trajectory, y’know,” Greez pointed out.

“Then it’s like looking back and forth on lines scribbled on paper: pointless.”

“I wish I had the same perspective, kiddo,”

You dismissed yourself to your bedroom and shed all over your outer clothes, exempting the tank top. You slouched on the bed and examined your once-messed up leg. BD-1 panned his scanners across your shin and beeped out his diagnosis.

“Really? That’s good to hear. I can’t fight our ginger Inquisitor with a screwed-up leg, right?”

“Wooo!” BD whistled in agreement.

It was another long trip, enough for Greez to keep the ship on auto-pilot while still travelling through hyperspace and whip up some snacks. You gave a hard pass. You decided to rest in your bedroom—suddenly, you weren’t so used to desert heat. You preferred the temperate kind all because of Cameegon.

While the others snack away with fruits and bread, you paid a visit on the workbench—particularly, Cal’s lightsaber. You shut your eyes and tried to recall everything, as if trying to recognize him by repeatedly playing all the memories in your mind: his dark-tinted hair, the stubble that tickled your cheeks and jaw, the way he spoke with his eyes, the trademark lightsaber of the Inquisitor and the fluid way he moved with it. Thankfully, the imprints on the saber remained the same—you’re still figuring out if there was a way to get rid of the negative feelings.

You passed the time tweaking and polishing both sabers. Every once in a while, you’d use his saber to practice dual-wielding—conjoined or otherwise. You’ve indulged so much in your pastime that you didn’t notice the silence.

Meanwhile, Cal has flown back into his command ship hours ago and is staying in his personal quarters after the garrison has been established. In the solitude of his bedroom, he allowed himself to lose control: his lightsaber flung across the bedroom, a clang vibrated across the stale metal walls, he swept away the glasses and pitchers littered on his island counter, the datapads and hologram pucks flew off from the table in a single swing of the arm.

From the outside, the patrolling guards stared at the door, listening for the muffled noises coming from Cal’s side. They traded slow, awkward glances at one another—the banging sounds made their shoulders jump with every impact, they’re somewhat anticipating for indistinct shouts and roars but none came.

“I think we should call the cleaning droid,” one Stormtrooper suggested.

“Yep. I’ll radio that now,”

Minutes later, a protocol droid comes knocking in and introducing itself while doing the work. The least the Eleventh Brother could do was be polite to it and not scare it off.

“My apologies for the mess,” he sighed.

“Oh, it’s not a bother, sir. I will have these broken items replaced immediately.”

“Thank you,”

The Eleventh Brother gave himself time to calm down in the presence of the droid—he liked his privacy too much for anybody or anything to see him be himself. The droid leaves after rearranging the things on the floor, though it avoided the lightsaber lying on the floor. When the blast door shut, the young Inquisitor brooded over everything in his mind: the thoughts before, during and after his encounter with you in the forest, his impression of you, and the feelings he’s repressed all this time.

The seething rage and anger—which he doesn’t know whom to direct it to—burned all over his body. It was so intense that it made him feel hot all over. He tugged at his collar, struggled to take slow breaths, and clear his mind. Those efforts proved to be futile. He propped himself against the edge of his holotable, staring blankly at the empty surface of the machine, and attempted to clear his mind once more.

A faint, soothing sensation entered his body out of the blue.

It was sudden yet gentle, like a quick jab that landed a careful impact. The sensation—its warmth—was familiar though he can’t point his finger on it. He couldn’t explain it.

The Eleventh Brother starts to seek it, surveying his bedroom to trace where that feeling was coming from—it was the Force that beckoned him, but it wasn’t the Dark Side, he knew it wasn’t.

He still hasn’t mastered how to revel in it the way he’s supposed to—the Grand Inquisitor saw that. The master also saw that his groomed fledgling is still clinging on to certain emotions.

“If you cannot bring yourself to let those feelings go, you will either grow weak or you will have to make yourself resourceful with it.” The lumbering Pau’an once lectured the boy some time ago in the middle of his training.

The voice of the Grand Inquisitor and his words on that lesson rang in his head, but it was short-lived. He kept his mind fixed onto that strange feeling that caught his attention. The idea of following it, finding it, sounded appealing to him—it was almost seductive. This spurred his curiosity and led him out of his bedroom. The young Inquisitor prowled through the hallways, ignoring everyone who bumped into him—the employees didn’t even greeted or nodded to him, they simply gave way.

It felt like the trail was growing colder, weaker, and he was inclined to think it was just the exhaustion getting to him.

Cal found himself in an empty corridor. Am I in a dead end? He pondered to himself.

“[y/n]…?”he dared to utter. He didn’t know why, he felt like saying it.

Oddly enough, you heard your name being called. You turned around and there was nothing. But the voice… You know that voice better than anyone. Just hearing it spiked your senses—especially seeing, hearing, and feeling.

The discovery made you drop everything you’re doing—you put down the rag and the lightsaber part you’re polishing to search for the voice that uttered your name. You didn’t respond and hoped it would speak again.

What’s this feeling I’m picking up? You wonder in the dead silence.

Cal turned his head the other way and saw you standing at the dead end, with your back turned to him.

“[y/n]?” he takes one cautious step close.

In Cal’s perspective, he can see you physically—it’s as if you’re standing in the corridor with him. You were moving naturally with the subtle head-tilts followed by the slight brushing of your ponytail against your back, the pivot of your arms and elbows, and the noticeable shine of the lightsaber nestled in delicate grip of your fingers. He gulped a non-existent lump in his throat when your tank top partially revealed your upper back and the strap slid off from your shoulder.

When did she get here?

The echo of your name rung again behind you; this time you decide to do it slowly—first, angling your neck until you could glance over your shoulder. All of a sudden, you find Cal standing in front of you inside your bedroom in the Mantis!

When did he get here!?

Normally, you would’ve jumped or screamed and literally dropped everything to the floor. But it doesn’t make any sense to you. How did he get past? Why didn’t anybody from outside warn you about him?

“You see me, don’t you?” he spoke.

“And you see me?”

“As clear as day.”

You shake your head slightly, “I don’t understand…”

“What’s going on?”

You didn’t answer—rather, you couldn’t answer and you looked for an answer. It was crazy, but you took a step forward—and Cal sees your every move from his point of view too, he didn’t even realize his feet have dragged him one step forward, past the small bed.

“Where… where are you?” you asked.

“In my command ship,”

He guessed that you’re in the Mantis. Where else would you be?

His eyes trailed from bottom up. He spotted the bruise on your cheekbone, by impulse he stepped closer with his arm slightly reaching for you.

“What happened to you?”

“Huh?” you instantly realize that you forgot that you’ve been struck by a Tusken Raider. “It’s nothing. I… I bumped into a wall.”

An unamused chuckle huffed between his lips, “You, of all people? I doubt it.”

“Look, whatever it is you’re doing, stop it!”

“I’m not doing anything. This isn’t on me,”

From that reply, the confusion just spiraled deeper.

“Do you think the Force connected us?” he added.

“But how did it…?”

You trailed off. Thinking about it more just gave you migraine. An inch was the only thing that stood between the two of you. This was the only docile moment you’ve ever shared. Standing so close to him made your chest constrict, hot tears welled up and stung your eyes—you got a better look of Cal, without violently flinging lightsabers at one another. Past that dark façade, you hoped that he’s still the same boy you still love.

The young Inquisitor fondly gazes back at the girl—his girl—standing in front of him; although he isn’t entirely sure whether it’s all real or just an illusion, nonetheless, it was something he didn’t know he needed.

Another step closer to you. He can almost feel the warm air around the Mantis and hear the machine hum.

“It’s still you,” you gasped.

“What do you mean?”

“I still see the real you. I still feel the good in you,”

He wanted to prove you wrong. But what good will his words do? Will telling you that he’s not the same person shake your resolve? No, even when you’re far apart from one another—he still knows you all too well.

You slowly hoist your hand, you watch Cal mirror you, and like magnets your fingers gravitated towards each other. The inches diminish every second.

To feel each other once more…

It felt like a sin. The thought of it. The act of it.

“Kid, get in here!”

Greez’s abrupt call through the speakers in the room startled you and faltered your focus altogether; in the next second you blinked, Cal was gone. You were all alone again in the quarters. You shrugged it off and decided that it was wise to keep it to yourself; you hurried to the cockpit and co-piloted from your seat.

As for Cal, he wasn’t sure what went wrong. His fingertips were so close to yours, in the blink of an eye, he found himself alone in that corridor. A lieutenant patrolling the area spotted the Eleventh Brother standing in the middle of the way, looking left and right for something.

“Sir, is there something wrong?” the officer initiated.

“Nothing, I just… took a wrong turn,”

Cal marched past the lieutenant and headed back to his chambers. Questions piled up in his head, followed by theories and assumptions that do more harm than good—it just made him overthink, and overthink he did when he shut the door behind him and rummaged through his small shelf of texts from the Jedi Temple ruins in Coruscant as well as manuscripts that the Grand Inquisitor loaned.

Crusty parchments rustled between his fingers as he flipped the page, every once in a while, his finger would run down the pages to find a keyword or a drawn figure—anything goes. Reporting this to the Grand Inquisitor treaded in a gray line between “do it” and “do not do it” for Cal. Regardless, he’s found another thing to while away: sticking his nose into the books for the sake of figuring out the answer to how and why the Force connected the two of you together.

[thetriggeredhappy]

27. Giggly kiss with EngieSpy please!!!!!

hell yeahhhhhhhhh sweet dads!! (warnings: alcohol mention)

#27: Giggly kiss.

Spy knew exactly the game that the Engineer was playing and quite frankly he refused to take any part in it.

One thing that Dell has apparently unfortunately realized was that, after so long of knowing him as someone who was generally smalltown-polite friendly at most, reserved in most ways excluding when his temper flared up (both in and out of battle), the various shows of unadulterated affection that he would sometimes spontaneously decide to dispense were enough to catch Spy off guard. Usually their interactions consisted of Spy deciding to approach the Engineer (both of them knowing full well that Spy wasn’t someone who would be found unless he wanted to be), then Spy leaving the offer on the table that they could perhaps be more romantic than their standing about and discussing work, then Engineer either taking it or leaving it from there.

Generally it was Spy initiating things, having to “put himself out there”, having to hold out that first hand. Partially because Engineer did sometimes feel uncomfortable, did sometimes feel strange about the compatibility of a short, stout southerner with a mean streak a mile wide and a French international agent of espionage wearing a suit worth his bodyweight in gold. Spy making it clear that he enjoyed the Engineer’s attention tended to soothe those worries. It also seemed that sometimes, Engie perceived the Spy as being… flighty. Easily startled. Which he was not, thank you very much, he just knew it was bad practice to let his guard down too terribly often (it would make him sloppy on the job) and the Engineer kept sneaking up on him.

Regardless, that meant that whenever Dell was the one to approach Spy with the flirting words, with the taking his hand to kiss the inside of his wrist, with the leaning in and fiddling with the edge of his mask or his tie or his lapels, well, it was unusual enough to be surprising, and often caught him off guard.

And apparently Dell found it very entertaining to catch him off guard whenever possible. He thought that, quote, “I’ll never get anything honest out of you unless you don’t get a chance to think about it first”.

And he had a point, but Spy didn’t enjoy that fact.

Dell’s latest game, apparently, was getting Spy to laugh more.

“You know, I wouldn’t press the issue, but it feels less like you’re not the type to laugh and more like you don’t wanna laugh,” Dell said to him one day, sat on a bench outside with him, having been convinced to take a break from working on his truck with the promise of shade, a beer still cold enough to have condensation rising up over the surface of the bottle, and company. “And most of the time when you don’t much wanna do somethin’, it’s either that you’re just stubborn, or you’re hidin’ something.”

“I’m not one of your equations, Laborer,” Spy deadpanned, content with smoking rather than drinking beer. “I’m a bit more complicated than that. I would have thought you’d pick up on that by now.”

“See, and then when you get real mouthy like that, that means you’re mad that I’m right,” Engie said next, smiling a little.

Spy fumed for a moment, glaring at him. “I could be rude for plenty of different reasons,” he finally said, tone lofty. “You can’t be sure.”

“I’m sure enough,” Engie shrugged, and hid his grin at Spy’s huff with a drink from his bottle. “I’m gonna get a real laugh outta you one of these days. Not the one where you’re being sarcastic, or when you’re cackling on the field, a real one. A happy one,” he decided.

Spy rolled his eyes. Dell and his obsession with Spy being happy. “Feel free to try,” he deadpanned.

The first attempt was Engineer trying to tell him jokes between matches, when he was half-distracted. Simple, silly ones, half ridiculous and half infuriating, finally resorting to puns when he couldn’t think of anything else. The best reaction he got was Spy being unable to surpress grins, huffing through his nose. The second attempt was made one evening late at night just before they went to bed, Dell suddenly digging fingers into Spy’s sides with intent. All he got was one half-alarmed cry and Spy escaping to the other side of the room within a heartbeat, then storming away and not speaking to Engineer for nearly two weeks, both for trying to tickle him and for startling him so badly.

He found it nearly on accident.

It was late—Spy finally stopped being angry with him and would even trust him to share the same bed again—and they were both tired. The Engineer had been busy all week, and a Spy had mostly spent his time catching up on a bit of reading, and overall they both found it very nice to have some time together again. Dell was coaxed away from work, and Spy was especially enjoying having someone warm and soft holding him, helping chase away the cold of the desert from his admittedly-bony frame.

Dell pressed a kiss to his shoulder suddenly, and Spy smiled, feeling all the warmer. “Finally feeling like paying some attention to your lover for once?” Spy asked, unable to get a sufficient amount of annoyance in his tone to make the comment biting.

“Finally caught you, more like,” Engie drawled, squeezing him where he had arms around Spy’s middle and pressing a kiss to his collarbone.

Spy managed to stifle a laugh only as it was starting to leave him, remembering too late that Dell had decided to play the ridiculous game of his. Admittedly, the game felt far away just then, and losing felt strangely alright with him. He tried to shake it off, to push away his own sentimentality for a moment. “Caught me how?” he asked, not having a very easy time with it.

“Off spending all your time in your smoking room,” Dell drawled next, nosing at his pulse point. “Probably listening to opera or some other unbearable thing.”

“Insulting opera,” Spy deadpanned, having to bite hard at the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling outright. “How very American of you, Laborer.”

“I’ll show you American—“ Dell murmured darkly, leaning up and starting to press rapid-fire kisses across Spy’s neck, under his jaw, across his cheeks.

He couldn’t help it, he really couldn’t. Maybe he was going soft working for Mann Co. Maybe he was going soft in general. Whatever it was, it only took a few seconds before Spy lost control over his giggling, then struggled against laughing outright.

“Dell!” he managed between wheezes, choking, stifling, trying to do anything he could to keep from laughing. “Dell, stop it!”

“No!” was his reply, also laughed, rumbling through the place where their chests pressed together in the most wonderful way, and then he was right back to kissing all up and down Spy’s neck again.

He giggled. He chuckled. He choked. He wheezed.

And then he snorted.

It was like a dam breaking. All at once, he had no control over his laughter, and it sounded almost too-loud in the empty room around them. He raised a hand to his own face to try to muffle himself as he continued snorting every few breaths, sure that his cheeks were on fire, absolutely mortified even as he started struggling to catch his breath.

He didn’t even have enough air to begin defending himself, or trying to distract from it, or to get angry with him for forcing the issue. And before he could get that air back, Dell had a hand—the flesh-and-blood one—pressed up against his cheek, warm and comforting. “Darlin’ if that ain’t just the cutest damned laugh I’ve ever heard in my life!” he gushed, laughing a bit himself, apparently finding it infectious.

“No!” Spy protested breathlessly, half-tempted to move away from the hand. “It’s ridiculous!”

“It’s precious,” Engie insisted, pinching his cheek lightly as if for emphasis. “That’s what you were hiding from me?”

“Of course!” he managed, eyes squeezed shut hard.

“Well stop it! I love it!” Dell said, laughter seeping into a sort of warmth, a sort of care, that made Spy feel an entirely different kind of overwhelmed.

“If you tell anyone—“ he started to challenge.

“I’d never,” Dell interrupted.

Spy knew that. He knew that Dell wouldn’t. Maybe that caught him off guard too.

Words escaped him for a long while, but finally he just pulled Dell’s face towards his own. The hint was taken, and Dell kissed him, firm but sweet.

“I’d never,” he repeated once they parted, softer now.

“I know,” Spy said, not sure of where this sudden bravery came from, but half-convinced that if he asked, the Engineer would be able to tell him.

[yastaghr]

Grey 17

Summary: Berry finds his datemates a little too late. Blue gets inducted into the revolution, and his HP is discovered.

Warnings: Blood, Aftermath of Torture, Major Character Death

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16555439/chapters/64110841

It had been two days since Berry had last seen or heard from his datemates. To say he was worried would be an understatement. In a place as small as the Underground it was almost impossible not to run into people on a regular basis, especially if you were dating them. Plus there were the phone calls. Berry was used to calling his girlfriends every night that he wasn’t sleeping with them. So for him not to hear from them in two days was unthinkable. He had to find them!

He regretted not searching for them sooner when he found them. The state they were in… he would remember it for the rest of his life. They were missing all of the toes on both of their feet, and the raw patches had been burned. Their legs had been fileted. The places where the strips of flesh were missing had been salted. They went all the way up to their underwear. At least whoever did this hadn’t hurt them there. Their stomachs, though, were apparently fair game. It had been sliced up in a grid pattern that would make healing much, much harder. Their arms had words carved into them deep; “slut”, “creep”, and “shithead” were the only three he could make out around the blood. Their faces, though, were easy to read. They had the word “freak” carved from cheekbone to cheekbone. Spike’s glasses were embedded into gaping holes where her eyes had once been, and TNT’s gills had been cut off completely.

Berry took in all of that in a handful of seconds. That was all he had before his magic rebelled and forced him to throw up everything he had eaten that day. The mess merged with the blood on the floor of the room to form a sickening tye-dye effect. He threw up again when he realised just how much blood there was.

By the time he had gathered himself enough to act it was too late. Berry unbent just in time to see the two monsters he loved the most, the two monsters who had pulled him out of his depression and saved his life, he saw those two monsters turn to dust. He gaped, unable to believe it. This couldn’t be real, right? They hadn’t just turned to dust. This was all just a big misunderstanding. He would wake up any minute now to Spike’s snores and TNT’s fond exasperation at those snores. Then he and TNT would tickle Spike mercilessly until she was fully awake. They’d all laugh and get out of bed and… and…

Berry shuddered when he looked back down and saw the blood. That was wrong, wasn’t it? Even if this was just a dream, he shouldn’t leave the floor looking this messy. He should at least try to clean it up, so he did.

That was how Stretch found him when he came back to gloat over their bodies. Seeing someone stuck in a cleaning fit was very familiar. Maybe he should have questioned it more, but, to him, it wasn’t out of the ordinary.

=====

Blue insisted on making sure that Scales was settled comfortably before letting them talk about anything else. It was hard for him to do; he wasn’t used to asserting himself like that. He managed it, though. It helped that he could put on his “doctor” voice. It also helped to know that these people were willing to be kind to him, even after knowing he’d been raped. That felt so alien to him that he didn’t really know what to do with it. The only thing he could do was hope it would last.

When Scales was safely set up in one of the beds down here in this hidden lab (who knew that there was a lab underneath the lab? He didn’t.), Blue gulped and faced the others. He could still feel the fire in his belly from hearing about what the King did here. He found the Royals so- so frustrating! Every decision that his Queen had ever made had hurt him. Her rules had ruined his life. Her refusal to pay for the damages of the accident had cost him his father. Her appointees to the Royal Guard had used their authority to rape him. Her arrogance had stopped him from saving thousands of lives. Why couldn’t they just be helpful? Was it really that hard?

“underfell to blue, can you hear me?” The words weren’t what smashed him out of his internal fit of fury. It was the poke that accompanied them. He definitely overreacted by flinching back and shaking with fear. Red looked at him with confusion, then shook it off. “i dunno where you went just then, bud, but scales wants to tell us her plan now. you good with that?”

Blue nodded slowly. He was just glad that Red wasn’t mad at him for overreacting. Stretch hated it when Blue overreacted in public.

Scales, propped up with more pillows than should rightly have been down here, coughed. “Well, three of you know the general plan for the revolution. Everyone hates the King, so it’ll be easy to convince them to stay home if we use Metta’s channel. The guards are already on our side, so it won’t be hard to get into the castle. The only part that we hadn’t worked out before was how we were going to subdue him long enough to shove him in the Void. I think Blue might be our answer to that.”

Blue’s head slowly tilted as he tried to figure out what she meant. Just the idea that there could even be a revolution was hard for him to grasp.

Fortunately, it wasn’t only Blue that was listening to Scales. “YOU MEAN THAT, IF WE SNEAK HIM INTO THE CASTLE, HE CAN SEDATE THE KING AND PUT HIM IN A COMA, RIGHT? HAVE YOU CHECKED HIM TO SEE IF HE’S UP FOR IT?”

Blue stiffened in real fear. “NO, NO, NO, PLEASE DON’T-” He was too late. His stats popped up for all of them to see.

“Blue - Underswap Sans” “The easiest friend you ever made. Rulebreaker for 17 years.”

1 LV 0.568 / 0.713 HP 90 / 90 MP

AT: 1 (-25) DF: 1 (0) EXP: 0 NEXT: 10

WEAPON: None (Healer!) ARMOUR: None

GOLD: 0

Silence reigned for several seconds as Blue started to tremble. They had seen. They had seen. They had seen they had seen they had seen they had-

The feeling of fear that overwhelmed him ran into the one obstacle he didn’t expect, although he probably should have, given that it had happened earlier. Three sets of arms wrapped around him in a hug. Three voices tried to sooth him. Eventually, a fourth voice broke through the bedlam due to sheer volume. “BLUE, WHY DO YOU HAVE SO LITTLE HP? THE ONLY MONSTER I KNOW HAS HAD LESS THAN 10 TOTAL HP IS RED, AND THAT WAS WHEN HE FIRST FELL DOWN HERE INTO THE UNDERGROUND. HOW DID YOU SURVIVE WITH LESS THAN ONE?”

Blue gulped. “I… REMEMBER HOW I SAID I WAS RAPED A LOT? I NEVER REALLY… GOT THE QUALITY OF MEDICAL CARE I SHOULD HAVE, SO I DIDN’T REALLY HEAL UP VERY WELL. IT’S… BEEN GOING DOWN LATELY, TOO,” ever since Stretch found out about his prostitution, actually, “BUT IT WAS AT 0.498 THE LAST TIME I CHECKED, SO IT’S… ACTUALLY GONE UP?”

Seven eyes stared at him. Red’s eyes were the most angry looking. Blue quaked before them. “lemme get this straight. a maximum of about seven tenths of a hp point is an improvement for you?”

Blue nodded, thinking through his next words carefully. “I’M JUST… WEAK. LIFE HAS BEEN HARD, AND I’VE TRIED MY HARDEST, BUT IT WAS HARD TO TAKE CARE OF MY LITTLE BROTHER ALL ON MY OWN. I TRIED TO RAISE HIM RIGHT, BUT, AS THINGS GOT HARDER… I STARTED TO LOSE HOPE. I WAS DETERMINED TO KEEP GOING FOR HIM, BUT… I GAVE UP HAVING ANY HOPES OF MY OWN WHEN THE QUEEN REFUSED TO SIGN THE LICENSE OF A FORMER PROSTITUTE.”

Red burst out laughing. Scales and Edge gave him an unamused stare. Felldyne looked like she wasn’t that far behind Red in the laughing department, and it was she who spoke. “Seriously? Even Fellgore didn’t care about me, and I did that to pay for my own house so I didn’t have to live with Gerson. Is that seriously why she refused to sign your license?”

Blue, blinking at her, nodded. “...ALMOST ENTIRELY, YES. SHE DIDN’T LIKE THAT I BROKE CURFEW AS A CHILD AT THE HOSPITAL, EITHER.”

Felldyne did chuckle then. “Sheesh, no wonder you hate her. If I were Empress I’d make you the Lead Healer in an instant. You helped Scales, you hate the Royal Family, and you’ve got enough spunk to compliment someone who could kill you with a sneeze. Definitely leadership quality. You wouldn’t happen to be looking for a job, would you? Once we pull this coop off I’m the next in line.”

Before Blue could jump on this opportunity, Red threw it away for him. “come on, dyne. he’s got a brother waiting for him back home. i know i’d give anything to get back to my bro if i lost him.”

Blue became aware of the way Felldyne was studying him. He shivered under that stare and the thought of going back to life with his… well, he couldn’t deny it anymore, could he? His abusive brother. He didn’t want to burden them with his problems, though. Not before he earned the right to call them friends. He had to help. “SO, WHAT’S THE PLAN ONCE I SEDATE YOUR KING? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH HIM?”

The others reluctantly (and not so reluctantly) accepted this change of subject. “WE’RE GOING TO SHOVE HIM INTO THE VOID, THE ULTIMATE PRISON SPACE WHERE NOT EVEN LIGHT CAN ESCAPE. IT’S WHERE THE KING SHOVED MY FATHER WHEN HE REFUSED TO LET HIM TAKE RED AND ME AWAY FROM HIM.”

Blue shivered. He knew who dwelled in the Void from back home, and he knew why. After all, he was the one who put River there. “ARE YOU SURE THERE ISN’T ANY OTHER WAY?”

They all nodded, but Red nodded more vigorously than the others. “that bastard has too much damned lv to put in a prison - he’ll just punch through the walls. can’t kill him neither, not without going lv crazy. no, we need to send him somewhere he can never get out.”

Blue sighed. “ALRIGHT. IF THAT’S THE ONLY WAY… I’LL HELP YOU WITH THE SEDATION AND ANY HEALING, NOT WITH ANYTHING ELSE. I’D ONLY GET IN THE WAY.”

[youareiron-andyouarestrong]

39 + 87 + rebelcaptain

survival/wilderness + aroused by the sound of her voice 

always had high, high hopes 

It could be worse was the first thing Kay had said after the meeting that officially declared he had been put under Cassian’s jurisdiction. The one they got after Cassian had to convince Intelligence and the members of the Council that walking into the Rebel base with a reprogrammed Imperial enforcer droid was a good idea. 

It could be worse, Kay had said, they could’ve dismantled me down for parts and had you demoted. 

Intelligence agents don’t get demoted, Cassian had replied. We get burned. 

Oh. Kay had sounded like he was recalculating his formulas. Not much worse, then.

Since then, it became a kind of mantra Cassian had adopted. It could be worse. That was what he told himself when times became darker and harder. Things could be worse. He could be dead. It was always easier to feel a little better about your immediate situation when you weren’t irreversibly dead. 

After… well, everything, he had made the mistake of saying such around his team (his people, his network, his rogues). Then of course, inevitably, someone (Bodhi, Kay, Baze, Jyn) would start listing all the ways it could be worse. They could be stuck on a swamp planet. Bodhi could be missing another arm. Baze could lose all his guns, and the spare grenades. Jyn might miss the evening meal. The suggestions would become increasingly more and more ridiculous as time went by and they stretched their imaginations (which were truly considerable) to the limit.  It became a game, a slightly morbid one perhaps, but one that amused them at least, and allowed for them to gently tease Cassian out of his darker moods. Of course, someone would eventually trump them all with pointing out, We could all be dead on Scarif. And then game would end, at least until the next time someone said, It could be worse. 

Cassian was trying to remind himself of that now. Things could be worse. 

He and Jyn were on an uninhabited (hopefully) forest moon, true. They were laying low from the Imperials searching for them, that was nothing new.  Practically routine. It would be about seventy-two standard hours before their ship came into orbit and Kay and Bodhi could reach them. They had food and shelter and it wasn’t raining anything other than water outside their little cave. Frankly, Cassian had survived on less than that. 

If it wasn’t in a Force-be-damned cave, then he might’ve gone so far as to say he had definitely had worse. 

But it was a cave, and anything that wasn’t in the immediate city proper was outside of his experience and thus Cassian hated it. None of his training had covered wilderness survival. He had been placed solely in cities and military bases and maybe an outpost or two, if he was unlucky. He had never needed to learn to survive in anything other than outside the law and within the Empire, and that was hard enough by anyone’s standards. 

This was probably what kept Jyn from needling him too much about his (entirely deserved) grousing. When it was established that they were stuck here for the next seventy-two hours, Jyn had simply nodded, and said, “Time to find shelter.” In the time it took for Cassian to try to set up a transmitter and send Kay the needed coordinates, Jyn had found them a cave, wove a curtain of vines together to disguise the opening, found firewood and then headed out and returned with this particular moon’s species of fish. Somehow she’d gotten wet wood to catch flame and was now comfortably cooking what she’d neatly gutted and cleaned out of her catch. 

Cassian could only blink at her. 

Jyn raised her head, caught his bemused stare. “What?” she asked. “I learned with Saw. He was pretty empathetic about it, actually.” 

“I can see that,” Cassian said finally. “How did you get the fire to catch?”

“I keep a little bit of flint in my pack at all times,” Jyn replied. “Plus, I used your spare flimsy.”

Cassian’s head snapped up at that, only to see Jyn’s grin flash like silver in the gloom. “Very funny,” he said flatly, in much the same tone of voice he used when Kay was attempting to be comforting or encouraging. 

“I thought so,” Jyn replied comfortably, giving the fish a little tweak. “I only used my spare flimsy.” 

The fish was good. Better than good, though Cassian had privately wished he could have a little pepper, maybe some spices to season it. He had given Jyn some of his closely hoarded supply of coarse salt for the fish, a small packet he kept on his person at all times. Along with roasted in the embers an edible root Jyn had also found and brought back, it was, all in all, not the worst meal Cassian had ever had. 

“Are we starting the I’ve-had-it-worse game again?” Jyn asked as she smoored the fire. “You’ve got that look on.”

“I can think of other things to do,” Cassian said, mostly for the form of it.

“Mmm.” Jyn settled down comfortably. “Better string them out, if we’re here for the next seventy-two hours.”

“I have my datapad,” Cassian said, his eyes drifting closed. The sound of the rain was soothing, the smell of woodsmoke and fish comforting, and Jyn’s voice a pleasant hum in his ear. “I could get some coding done.”

A chuckle escaped Jyn. “With what signal?”

He opened his eyes then to give her a look, which just made her chuckle again. “City boy spy.”

“Civilized,” he grumbled, not with any real heat. 

“I can’t believe you never had any wilderness training,” Jyn said, stretching out in the heat of the fire like a lazy felid. “My next training for the Pathfinders is going to cover that.”

“Poor bastards,” Cassian murmured, just to hear Jyn’s chuckle again, a sound he valued more than the beep of a transmitting code, the whirr of a well-programmed droid, a whisper in the crowd, Fulcrum, freedom and rebellion一 “And I wasn’t stationed in the wilderness; there was no use for me there. I was more useful in the cities.” 

“Useful,” Jyn echoed, and then shook her head. “It was still short-sighted and ill-prepared. When you write the report for Draven, you can tell him I said so.”

“He’ll take it under due consideration,” Cassian replied and Jyn snorted. 

A companionable silence fell between them for a moment, until Jyn tilted her head back to glance outside. “We’re going to have to share body heat once nightfall comes.” Her profile was averted to him and her voice now dispassionate, which might explain why Cassian’s initial response was an absentminded “Hmm.” Then when what she said registered, he let out a startled, “Pardon?”

“Body heat,” Jyn repeated, now stubbornly facing away from him. Hiding a blush? The rich light of the fire made it hard to tell. “Plus the bedding. The ground’s not going to do your spine or leg any favors,” she added with a scowl in her voice. Any mention of his bad leg or back always made Jyn glare like she’d like to make the misbehaving tendons and bones work for him, or else.  “And I don’t know how much the temperature is going to drop between now and nightfall. Probably a few degrees, enough to make us uncomfortable. So it’s only practical.”

Cassian felt himself automatically move to wet his lips before checking that tic. Never mind she couldn’t see it.  “I’ll trust you then.”

Now Jyn did look at him, straight through the firelight and into his eyes. “I know.” The words vibrated with the seriousness of the statement, and how Jyn was going to follow through with it with every fiber of her being. The dim red gold light make her look gilded and shadowed, something wrought from gold and onyx and ivory. 

Cassian gave an involuntary head shake. This what came of being in caves. They stripped away all your common sense. 

*

The night came on, and Jyn’s prediction about the temperature came true. It was more than enough to make them uncomfortable and to break out the temperature conserving blankets. Jyn had layered their bedding as much as she could and rolled up their jackets to use as blankets and pillows, as needed. One thing they both knew all too well in this life of theirs was to sleep whenever it was offered to them. Jyn slept facing the fire, and Cassian’s back to the right wall of the cave so that they both faced the entrance. He ran warmer than Jyn, who always seemed to be a degree or two cooler than everyone else. There was some awkward fumblingーwhere to put his arm, where she could rest her head. But they managed it. Cassian could smell the woodsmoke clinging to her hair, the weave of her scarf under his head. He kept himself as still as possible behind her, resting on his good hip. 

It didn’t feel like his life, this part, this small island of quiet. His life was shadows and hard edges and smog filled skylines. It wasn’t the smell of rain and the warmth of a fire on his face and Jyn resting on his arm. 

This wasn’t his life. It was just a respite. 

*           

Cassian woke slowly, only to find that the fire must’ve died down at some point during the night. That would be the only plausible reason for why Jyn was currently so thoroughly entangled with him that he couldn’t tell his arms and legs from hers. 

It was either still dark or almost dawn. That strange, unreal, dreamlike time when the edges of the world were misty and indistinct. It could be worse, he tried to tell himself, registering Jyn’s warmth and her slow, steady breathing. The way her cheek rested on his arm. How relaxed and soft she was in sleep, such a contrast to her waking self.  Things could definitely be worse一

Jyn let out a sigh, a little sleepy sound of pure contentment, snuggled back into him, her rear fit so snugly against his hips that he almost choked. 

He did not want to think about any other time Jyn might make that noise. He absolutely did not want to imagine what other circumstances could possibly arise一

Shut up, Cassian told himself only somewhat frantically. Just shut. Up. He wasn’t some over eager teen falling all over himself over a member of the opposite sex--

Jyn rolled over in his arms, somehow one leg sliding between his, blowing all of Cassian’s rational thought to pieces. Another soft sigh, warm breath brushing against his neck, her left leg slung over his hips一who knew Jyn was a cuddler? Not him. He hadn’t even given himself permission to imagine what Jyn was like when she was asleep一

This is a dream, Cassian thought. It was arguably the worst (best) dream he’d had in awhile, so he might as well enjoy it while it lasted, and hoard the memory for the dark nights and shadowed days. 

Jyn sleeping peacefully in his arms, soft sighs in his ear, warmth against his skin, the sound of rain and a quiet place untouched by anything bad or hard and dark一 

Another sleepy sound, almost like a moan as she tried to get comfortable against him, tugging his arm to better adjust it for her head… 

Don’t let me wake up, Cassian thought. Please, ancestors, the Force, whoever is running this forsaken galaxy, don’t let me wake up. Let me keep this, I have asked for so little for all my life, and this isn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, it’s probably the best, please let me keep it… 

Jyn sighed against his neck, shifted slowly and languorously, her lashes falling and rising against his skin. “Cass…?” her voice was a low, husky rasp, one that made his blood run hot and fierce and what time was it even? Was this still a dream somehow? 

In the dim light, he could see Jyn waking herself up, getting her bearings again. Her eyes flicked down to take in their entwined limbs and then back up to his face. Unconsciously his arms tightened around her, and then loosened again immediately. If she didn’t want to be there, then he wasn’t going to keep her there, he would never do anything against her express wishes if he could possibly help it.

“Cass,” she repeated in a whisper. If she wasn’t comfortable in this clench, there was no sign of it in her voice. But her eyes were watchful. “How’s your back?”

“I think it’s fine,” he whispered back. It felt too early to speak. 

Jyn was quiet for a second or two, her fingers flexing against him.  “You need to… do you have to go?” he asked still in a whisper. 

“No,” she whispered back. “Do you?”

Never, ever, they could kill me here and I would die content, only you’d never allow that一

“No,” he said. “I don’t.”

They lay there in the dim, the world a very great distance away. 

“We don’t have to go anywhere,” Jyn said softly. “We can just stay here… just for a little while.”

“Yes,” Cassian agreed. This was, after all, a very nice dream. “Let’s just stay here.”

The corners of her mouth lifted into a smile, a smile Cassian had once thought he would die to earn, and maybe still would. 

“You make for a very good pillow,” she murmured, her body utterly relaxed along the length of his. “Best sleep I’ve had in awhile.”

Cassian was silent for a moment, gathering his thoughts. “Me too,” he said back, almost too low to hear. But she heard it. Of course she did.   

[seriouslyblacklikemysoul]

Her eyes, the stars - Bucky Barnes x Reader (Steve Rogers x Reader)

[I know, I am a ghost. Sorry guys. Enjoy.]

The reminiscence of a rose - the single flower that’s so impossible to hate, delicate and pretty, even when it stops blooming. Her voice could calm even the most chaotic oceans, always soothing with soft notes of comfort. Even her eyes could mesmerize the most soulless creature; her sweet face left him dreaming in heartache. On the nights his loneliness stung him harder than cheap liquor; he was always thinking of her. For he reveled in the memory of her heart placed on his hands. As he tried to get drunk on other people’s skin. Yet all that regret still burned his chest. And he realized that he once had the best. Since she loved his highs and lows. He thought about what he once held. He regretted leaving her. But she deserved more than his pettiness and demeanor.

She begged herself to stop loving him.She hated herself for all the mistakes she had made, all those wrong decisions - she blamed him for he made her vulnerable. He was the sun, never really committed to one planet, always dancing around the universe, with bright colors revealing themselves, leaving her in awe. Her heavy blues of night opened to reveal the chariot of the sun lighting up the sky with various shades of yellow and gold. The feeling was almost theatrical and the dramatic intensity was palpable. How could they end up in the same sky, when he was the sun and she was always so fond of the night? They were just celestial objects, trying to find the one perfectly still moment, so they could co-exist in harmony without worrying about nature's balance. That moment had passed them by, ignoring their desperate attempts to escape the chaotic force.She was a whole universe in motion - he had guessed that was why she seemed so tired lately...It must be an exhausting, yet beautiful thing to brush the orbits of all the universes she walked by. He had tried to stop thinking that he made her so unhappy. He couldn't. Instead, he tried to understand her a bit better than before, to get close to her, without hurting her. Again. She was no pawn in his game, she was clever and cunning - but just to hide her true self.

"You think you can define me, that I am a tick in just one box. Like my being is a door that a single key unlocks. But let me tell you something - something I figured out after you broke me. I have the universe inside, I hold an untamed ocean with a constantly changing tide. I'm home to endless mountains with tips that touch the sky, flocks of grand migrating birds and deserts harsh and dry. Please, don't tell me that you know me. That "this right here is what you are", trying to get an old and very dead version of me back. I am the universe in motion, for I was born from the stars" she was talking to him, trying to make a point, to seem sure about what she had become - but she was scared of her heart. Oh, the things it made her do. He wasn't taken aback, which surprised her. He was looking into her eyes, watching the soft colors of the sky fooling around with the dark strokes of her irises. It was true, her eyes held the stars. She closed her eyes, overwhelmed by the swirling feelings inside her. She felt every single cell of her body begging for her to forgive him - there was nothing to forgive, really, for he had done nothing wrong. It was her that could not - would not - handle things. She never saw herself in a relationship - so many obligations. She was not made for ballgowns and parties but for battlefields and saddles.

"I am yours, forever yours… and when the last star of the universe blinks silent, I will still be yours", his answer came naturally to him. It was the most sincere thing he had ever said. He knew her as a sea breeze, but now she met her as a hurricane. So he knew, she needed to be alone. She had been craving freedom so long and he had been blind. He was a liar- he lied to her, to the entire world, to his own self. He wasn't the Golden Boy, people made him to be. He had hurt her in ways he couldn't have imagined before. She softly smiled to his words, because she knew he was being honest. Once upon a time, everything was magical and they were found themselves walking through a chaotic paradise. The entire multi-universe had changed.

"I might have been too harsh, Stevie. Truth is that this, us, has turned to dust right after we were defeated. Five years now, we have been foolish enough to try and make things work. We have been lying to everyone, we want them to move on and be alright when I know that all those sleepless nights we have been thinking of a way to make everything as it was. I also know, and please do not try to deny it, that you are not mine. Not really, not entirely, not ever. For you, it's always gonna be Peggy. Accepting that, was the hardest thing I have ever done". His face twisted in a guilty way. Everything she had experienced for the first time, had been with him. It hurt her but she would move on, find someone else to make her feel alive again.

"I... I am sorry. I love you, you should know that. It's just. I can't shake the feeling… I am so sorry" he calmly apologized to her. He couldn't control his heart.

" And I love you. You can't unlove someone. You can, however, become just friends with them. I wouldn't want to lose you from my life. So... Hey dude" she tried to change the dark and painful situation into something less... 

It all happened so quickly and slow at the same time. It was a disaster and a triumph. Everyone came back - well, not everyone. Once she laid eyes on Bucky, she ran like hell and almost knocked him down as she enveloped him in a bone-crushing hug. How she had missed him - her best friend, companion and well...it would take her a while to admit it but there were butterflies, even though she did push them away every time, convincing herself that it was nothing more.

"I missed you Jay, so damn much" was all that she managed to say before Steve called them to assemble. 

They won. And they lost. All thanks to the amazing Tony Stark. After a horrific scene of Thanos wearing the gauntlet and snapping his fingers - only to realize that Tony had stolen them right on time - everyone's heart fell and crushed and burnt. Yes, Tony defeated Thanos but at what cost?

He had always been the only father figure she knew- if she thought that standing against him with the Sokovian Accords was devastating, this was torture.

When things slowed down, Steve looked at her for the first time in what seemed like a lifetime. Her porcelain-like skin was bruised, stained and twisted forming a pained mask, her hands were trembling and she was leaning against his best friend- why was this the first time he was noticing the look on Bucky's face? Why was this the first time he felt that his friend craved to be more than a friend to her? 

Life has a strange way of revealing her secrets, a dark sense of humor. It goes on, like a circular river, never-ending, never resting. After the simple ceremony to honor Tony's memory, she took a step back, asking for a few weeks off of the team to help Pepper and Morgan. All she wanted was to feel normal again. One more task before that though.

Seconds before Steve stepped into that platform to be teleported back in time, she called for him. He knew it and so did she. She had seen it in his eyes after they had mourn Natasha. In all honesty, she understood why - he deserved the life that was taken away from him, without asking him if he liked the alternative options. Bucky knew it. He knew it when he saw him on the blood-stained battlefield. He felt it in their hug. He also knew that she knew- he was the one both her and Steve had asked for help before Thanos. He was the one who swallowed his feelings for her and gave her a friendly shoulder to rest her head. "Thank you" Steve mouthed to her. She smiled, eyes covered in tears threatening to spill. "Go".And he was gone. Bucky gave her hand a gentle squeeze and she turned to face him. Unknown him, she had become aware of his feelings. And her own, slowly but steadily. "A soul that carries empathy is a soul which has survived enormous pain" she softly whispered as if she didn't want to be heard. He felt that she could read his mind. All those years ago, another Bucky had existed- one who flirted shamelessly with everyone. He had to get in touch with him if he wanted a chance with her, he thought, only to be proven wrong after a while. He just had to be himself. 

She had finally realized that Steve and her were exactly like the moon and the sun- and their time together was an eclipse, a breathtaking phenomenon, a glimpse of what it could have been. A moment. And that was okay. She regretted nothing. It was perfect in its imperfection.

She found herself knocking Bucky's door, not knowing why. All she wanted was to see the stars but somehow when she was greeted by sliver blue eyes, the stars seemed inefficient. He was the night, she thought.

"Can I stay here for a while?"... because I am scared when I am alone? He opened up his door to let her get inside because he knew the part of the sentence that left unsaid. His room was warm with a serene view of the night sky. He knew that she loved to gaze the stars, how she would always complain that the moon was a hypocrite. But not tonight. She felt gravitated towards him which made him blush, thankful for the darkness. To say that he hadn't wished for a moment with her, it would be a lie. He was pulled towards her like a magnet and in all honesty, he didn't want to leave far away and get over her.

"Can't sleep?" he asked her in a hushed tone as he laid to his bed, eyes watching her every move. She let a tired chuckle and sat down next to him. He pierced her eyes and she felt naked - and she didn't mind. It was okay for him to see her in all her doomed glory.

"Jay, its past midnight and I’ve pretty much thought of all the words hoping to find something that can remedy this... I can try but my vocabulary falls short when it comes to describing the matters of my heart. My heart. Not yours - mine. I could fill pages about the likes and dislikes of your heart. What makes you tremble what softens you up. I know you like the back of my hand. I know your anger and I know your vulnerability. Vulnerability…. what does that even mean? I guess it happens when you finally take the leap to open up to one who might not ever see you the same again. I guess that your weakness is not supposed to be a different form of feeling when it comes to me. And it isn't. I guess that attachments don’t exist between the two of us. But it does. And I guess, well I guess, that I love you a bit more each day and bit less on the days you choose to ignore me. No, wait, that's a lie. And I know that this is way too forward and yes, he was, is, your best friend, and my ex, which can be a bit awkward -  but you know what? He made a choice, but not before I do. I had already fallen for you and if it's weird -" he did not let her finish. The words coming from hee mouth were burning fires inside his head, for years now. His lips were ever so gently upon hers. It almost didn't feel like a kiss.

In the end, everyone wanted to be like Icarus, hoping to fly high and soar far. Nobody was satisfied with their standing and kept pushing their limits. And that was human...  full of life, blinded, arrogant, wonderful... always falling in the end. But not every fall hurts. She landed softly on his lips, her hands caressing his face and his were holding her tight as if she was a dream and he would soon wake up.

He was the stars and she was the moon. Finally, it worked.

'From stars we came, to stars we'll return and in the middle is all we are'

[dokuhebi]

Jiraiya / cont. @peepingtoad​

No. There was no difference.

That was exactly why he threw it out to tempt them, referring not only to the possibility of tethering his power as they already had done in the past, but also his will itself… because if he can’t be accepted with all his flaws by the one he loves, then he may as well, at the very least, not have to suffer any longer for it. Either by being allowed to die again, or the next best thing—by becoming a mindless servant who can fulfil whatever role they desire from him. And why not assert just how sick and tired he is? Why not let them know, in no uncertain terms, just how crazy they make him, and see exactly what guts they have to do something real about it?

But replaying those words back to himself as a tense quiet descends thickly in the space between them, where the only sound is his ragged, wet breathing, it now seems less like the assertions of his aggressively free spirit, and instead reeks more of fear. Fear of that highest tier of rejection—and not for juvenile things like dating or kissing or any of that stuff, but the idea that he might face rejection for being fully himself… including his less relaxed, less humorous and cheerful, less indestructible sides. The very sides of him that right now seem to be earning him nothing but further ire, neither his tears nor anger seeming to awaken any kind of vulnerability or understanding in return.                                                                                                

                                                                   Keep reading

|| “...you think you know what might make me happy?” Words that cut directly to the bone, that take what the serpent had said and pierced its heart until all sentiment had been killed from it. They stare on silently, even if they feel he was turning the knife within them. That they can not argue they know him at all, if he has told them just how blind they have not only been, but are currently being. And it does leave them feeling raw and ripped open, it does make them feel that the only bond they ever truly formed in their lifetime had been a rather poor effort all the same. And it is not his intention, or at the very least, his comment is not to aim blame outwardly. Instead, after wounding them, he acts to wound himself. They would say they spot the pattern, of how quickly he puts himself in jail for things he has not truly done. But they feel themself a fool to make that analysis after being chided for knowing so little as is. And then comes his confession - a child saviour. So simple, so innocent, yet he delivers it as if it may have been the very weight holding him under water for so long. Perhaps if he had told them years ago, they would have had a better understanding, perhaps if he had, they would simply have scoffed at all his talk of destiny and fate. Maybe they still do. But one thing is certain, they can not fault him... when during his death they had run off to do the same thing. And that might just be making them feel a little eerily inclined to believe destiny for the briefest second.

Mitsuki is quick to enter their thoughts, they had created that boy to be everything they were not. They had given him the power their body was too weak to control, the lessons they had never been taught... but more importantly, they had tried their utmost to present the little moon they birthed with a sun. With some guiding light out the darkness. Because they had truly thought that no child of theirs could ever be capable of escaping the shadows, because high and mighty as they are, and whether they call it destiny or genetic predisposition, they could not shake the feeling that the apple would not fall far from the tree. Because one lesson they could not shake, was that the moment they pushed Jiraiya away, was the moment the darkness finally had the opportunity to clamp its jaws around them. And although madness had been soothing, although a blinding veil of darkness had allowed them peace, it was a form of admitted delusion to ignore the signs of being killed in that way. To lose oneself entirely to whatever force would give them relief from the world. And it was knowing this, it was knowing how the game ended the moment they tried playing alone, that had them guiding their child toward another boy. That had them encouraging one sacred rule: to stay close to the one who offered light. The gods knew the serpent wished they had. But they can not tell him this. No, they can not show him how much they regret making him think all that optimism was for naught, that it was foolish and naive and had no impact. For they can not tell him of the child just yet. Too poor an opportunity to announce the insanity of their own ploys. That they would once more tamper with nature in new ways to produce the two a son. That they would, with a heart that is just as much of a dreamer as Jiraiya’s, look to the child and whisper for him to do what the two Sannin couldn’t. They would like to show Jiraiya, that he had. For now, however, they would need to convey it a different way. They would need to find the words to express that he was wrong to think that all those years were wasted. Those were the only years the serpent could ever count themself alive. Them being too stubborn, scared and lost to see that would change nothing. “No right?” the words catch in their throat when he speaks them, no right to feel pain? Their eyes meet his without intent to be patronizing, yet a mark of a parent informing a child appears regardless, “we can not measure suffering... but if we dared to, I would wager that yours was within all rights my dear. For any tragedy upon or around you will stifle the human heart... pain is so easily transferable, is it not?” That was a lesson taught to them in parenthood, from the day they saw their child in agony, and felt a violent need to bear that pain themself than witness it. But they had not yet addressed what they felt needed addressing. That he thought all his efforts a complete waste, that he now abhors even that optimism that had in fact, carried the Sannin a great distance. A loss of words ensnares them momentarily, until he has walked the short distance back to them. Even after they had almost killed him moments ago, even after wind rattled the cottage and threatened more pain. He would get bitten a hundred times more before realizing some beasts were too feral to be a part of his domestic fantasy. Gold meets the inverted optics he now dons, and their voice is but a breath louder than a whisper. Even now, their stillness could be read as them being pacified, or as a serpent getting ready to strike, “I remember strangers dressed in red coming to my door, the eyes of pity ridden onlookers in utilitarian and windowless hallways... I remember the matrons office, the houseparents, the scattered documents I didn’t have the guts to read when my parents names littered every page. I remember thinking that everyone would be disappointed, inconvenienced, if I behaved like a child rather than a shinobi. If I admitted my feelings on the subject rather than handled it like one of our assignments. I didn’t tell you I was scared... I found I did not have to.” “Maybe it was your optimism, maybe it was that whenever the ground shook beneath me on my broken foundation, there was at least one familiar face, one constant... and I could measure myself to you. If you could fall and get back up, so could I. If you could live in a home where your mother was more absent than present, I could too. And if you could hold up not only yourself, but others... well, the least I could do was move forward on my own. And perhaps even then our goals were of similar heart. That you took to raising a saviour, where I took to trying to paint myself as one...” A light and single huff of laughter, lacking amusement but perhaps admitting to the irony of their days battling for the seat of Hokage. Then the days forging their own village with equal tenacity after denouncing the way the world was shaped. Who knew the child who dreamed of being the worlds redemption, would become a villain without any hope of being redeemed themself. And it is then that they feel the brush of his hands on their face, that the softest of touches seems to rattle them. They did not notice the feeling of dampness that had risen subtly to their own sharp eyes, and they look almost surprised when they feel the light sensation of a tear fall down their cheek. They blink it away, as if caught off guard by their feelings. As if they had done too good a job of stifling real emotions and of letting anger take precedence instead. That their heart must have been far removed from their mind, and caught them completely off guard by the sudden and single exposure of nostalgic grief. And part of them wants to blame him, that just like a yawn or smile or laugh, crying could be contagious. But they know better than to demonstrate further weakness with a cop-out lie.   ||  “… Well. Maybe.” The words bring another huff of laughter from them, bitter amusement, but amusement more genuine than the previous time. The wind in the room has died down, the light swinging of the curtain rope and the disheveled state of paper and books is all that is left in its warning wake. And they are left, with the heartfelt promise he had just made, that maybe their little secret is not wise to withhold. That it was true madness to continue the same action in hopes of a different outcome. If they are to hide from him... if he is to hide from them... they are back where they started. “Fate... that is a very fickle thing to hold to, is it not?” they reply, a hand coming up to clasp around the back of his head. Nails have a bit of bite to them, a bit of tug. But it is not to harm him, it is to keep him locked a while longer as he is. It is the shake of his hands and the quiver in his breath, it is the unleashed vow of being theirs, only theirs. It is the unspoken promise of years ago that has finally been put in to words. They tug him down when they draw themself forward, a kiss that they hope will signify a seal on his promise. Less gentle than they had intended, more possessive than romantic. They toy with the idea in their mind, they toy with whether they should tell him, and then finally, they have their answer. “Pack your things. I have something to show you.”