#thankfully I think the problem was that I was also charging it and playing music

[the-name-is-loser]

Why is my laptop so hot when I have it on its head to air out properly and with fans on max

[twdmusicboxmystery]

I'm hopeful that Beth is coming, but one question I have after reading all your theories is why did it take this long to bring her back? Wouldn't it have been better for the story had they not shot her in the first place? That way she could've been reunited with Maggie and Glenn too.

I'm also curious to hear your thoughts on whether or not you think this was the original intention for Beth’s story (ie having her go missing for several years). I know she was originally supposed to be killed off in the prison arc by some serial killer dude but I mean after that. Personally, I've always felt like she was supposed to be with Daryl romantically, but then for some reason, they changed it.

Oh man. That's a lot of questions. I have lots to say about all of this. Let's dive in.

In terms of her arc in general, I do think Gimple more or less always planned it this way. They may not have had it specifically in mind when they brought her in for S2, but Gimple had an inkling, in my opinion. Maybe he didn't know exactly how things would play out, but her suicide arc was his baby, and he knew he wanted to take this character from a place of extreme weakness to one of extreme strength.

In S3, he was not the showrunner. If they'd decided to kill off Beth as they'd planned, he probably wouldn't have had any control over that. Thankfully, they changed direction. And the next season, Gimple was officially showrunner and could do whatever he wanted with the arc. And, NOT coincidentally, that's when Beth came from and center and we got the Bethyl hug in 4x01. So, I think the instant Gimple was officially in charge, Bethyl was officially a thing.

Side Note: You could argue--and many have--that they might have had plans for Beth and Daryl as early as S3. Because in 3x01, they officially shut down the idea of Caryl being a romantic thing, and clearly showed Daryl staring at Beth as she sang.

There's no way to know how extensive their plans were then, but I think, even if they were planning to kill her off via Axel then, they were still going to make it a huge loss for Daryl. Even if it hadn't been what it developed into in S4, it would still have been a matter of him being heart broken to lose her. They would have talked about the loss of her music and such.

To this day, one of my favorite scenes in the whole series is when Beth starts singing Hold On at the prison and they clearly show both Daryl and Merle staring at her. Something about Beth's music captivated both the Dixon boys. And I don't mention Merle in a gross, he-was-in-love-with-her kind of way. I think it's more that they didn't grow up with anything like wholesome music, so when she started singing, it mesmerized them.

Back to your questions.

So, in short, it feels to me like Gimple always planned it that way--as a romance between the two of them--but he probably didn't know at the beginning if he'd actually be able to do the story that way, because he wasn't in charge. He had to let things happen organically, sort of ride wave of all the problems they had with showrunners in S3, and know that he couldn't be overly possessive about anything.

But when the chips fell after S3, with him as showrunner and Andrea killed off, BOOM! Bethyl was born. Or at least, it was greenlighted.

So, in a very general sort of way, the reason for her arc is the resurrection theme. They have used this as a theme since the very beginning. It's built into a zombie tale. In the Christian religion, resurrection is a very wholesome, sacred part of the dogma. And in general, even for other religions or non-religious people, it's seen as a good and miraculous thing. Death = loss and tragedy, so being reunited with that lost loved one is a good thing.

Of course, things like vampires and zombies are the horror-genre's take on it.

So, because the whole story of TWD is about a twisted resurrection of the dead, the thing that compliments that is seeing resurrections of the living from time to time. That's why the TWDU so often tries to make us think a character has died, but then it brings them back. It's all thematic. They almost build all their story arcs around that.

So, in terms of Beth, I think Gimple just wanted to make her the ultimate resurrection arc. And they wanted to build it around Daryl and his love life because he's the fan favorite and they wanted to give him an epic romance.

That's why they pretended to kill her off and not have her reunite with people to begin with. It was the long play on a massive resurrection arc. And also, they needed to get through all the comic book material before they ventured into stories and characters that weren't in the comic books, and that were 100% their creations (which goes for both Beth and Daryl).

As to why it took so long, that's more complex. I think they probably originally planned for it to be several seasons--like 4 or 5--but things got in the way and pushed it back. Technology changed, the logistics of telling the main stories from the comic books got complicated, and of course then there was Covid. So, I do think it's taken several years longer to get around to her return than they originally planned.

So yeah. Hope that answers your questions! Xoxo! 💌😋

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats | Wild Things (De Renzy, 1985)

Like I did with my review of Ball Busters, I present to you some stray observations in scattershot form, not unlike the vignette structure of the film being commented on:

I didn't watch this to make a "We have Wild Things at home!" joke, because I haven't seen Wild Things (1998) and this was released first. I'm innocent of all charges, your honor.

This is bookended by a pair of roughie-style scenes. I think the first one is better, in that the female aggressors make it stand out against the usual genre dynamics and the latter has John Leslie doing some weird bear growl noises I found a bit distracting. Both also have neat twists at the end that go a long way in alleviating the sleaze factor that normally comes with these things.

Between the organ music on the soundtrack, the pointed shot of the cross dangling Kimberly Carson's breasts, her desire to make love as a means of procreation and her devout nature ("I'm talking to God here"), the segment where Herschel Savage tries to impregnate Carson plays like a middle finger to the moral majority types, although one could argue it's a bit more subtle than the usual evangelical characters in more overt porno satires (Spitfire, Friday the 13th: A Nude Beginning). This is also the only time I can recall off the top of my head seeing Savage with a beard, and combined with the leather jacket he's introduced in, it's a pretty good look. (Much better than the Gene Shalit 'stache he had in Skin Flicks.)

As someone who's made that same awful sitcom double date joke in too many reviews, I have a tremendous amount of respect for Elle Rio for following through on it. You see, the problem is that "there is so many men and how you say, so little time", and maybe she "should get a little book or something", so she "accidentally date two guys at the same time!" (For the record, I love her accent and her mellifluous voice. I'm not making fun, I promise.) And rather than suffer any embarrassment, she takes charge and resolves things in the most elegant manner possible given the circumstances. (Hint: it rhymes with "free gum.") Apparently this was added after the fact (the breaking of the fourth wall feels more in line with Ball Busters) but is arguably a highlight, making this not unlike a Heaven's Gate situation where a later release is supposed to be the superior version. Or maybe like the Snyder Cut. Definitely not like Apocalypse Now: Redux, where the additional footage kills the pacing. Bonus points for Tom Byron's terrible mustache and his insistence on kicking rocks at Jon Martin's car. "A lot of men, they don't have the kind of sense of humour like we girls do."

Maybe I'm still high off a rewatch of Body Double, but there's one shot where the husband is masturbating in the foreground and the wife is masturbating in the background that looks a little bit like a composition from Mr. BDP himself. Now if you just switched out the rack focus for a split diopter, we'd be in business. (This scene also starts with the wife looking at magazine layout with *shudders* Ron Jeremy, and thankfully that's where he stays.) And before you think I'm giving the movie too much credit visually, there's some pretty nice use of lens flare and shadows throughout. This is not without a decent amount of style.

Lots of great music throughout, probably a little heavier on the rock side of things (psych rock jams, garage rock, funk rock, maybe a little doo wop), but my favourite bit of scoring has to be the fluttering synths in the first scene.

While I missed the knockoff Troy McClure shtick John Leslie was doing while hosting Ball Busters, Jill Ferrar is not without her charms and has some fun interplay with the crew. Also, unlike Leslie she doesn't try to push a heretofore unheard of definition of the title, so definitely wins some points there.

Now, as for whether this is any good: if you like the performers, I can report they are in fine form, and if you are not yet sold on any of them, a strong case is made for all. (MVP: Elle Rio, for the record.) There's enough variation in the premises of each segment, the energy level is consistently high, and the film is not without a good amount of humour (and doesn't feel mean spirited the way I've found De Renzy sometimes can be). I'm assuming Howard Hawks never saw this (because it was released after his passing, unless he came back a decade later like Bruce Lee was prophesied to in Ng See-Yuen's Bruce Lee: The Man, The Myth), but it meets his criteria for a good movie and then some.

[grimmywrites]

what ya think of the new re4 remake? c:

  I love it! (Everything below is the opinion of a nerd who is way too into the RE world, btw.)

OG RE4 is my favorite video game ever, and like many I was worrying over every bit of information we were fed. I didn't expect it would be, but the worry that it would be like the RE3 remake was there. Thankfully, I think Capcom knew they had to do this one right.

For me, the game is 10/10. They really upped the horror, the story, and made the difficulty feel welcome. Great enemies, great use of the cult this time around, and the game is absolutely beautiful. Not to mention the sound design is so goddamn perfect. I also love how the soundtrack is similar to the original with the old leitmotifs in some of the music. I love the addition of requests and the expansion of the maps and the exploration in certain chapters.

As a remake 9/10 - I'm aware this is just because of nostalgia filters. It's only because I have a few problems with some of the characters. While I think the tweaks to the story made it stronger and a lot of the characters are so good (I've always loved Ashley even in the OG but I'm glad everyone is taking to her in the remake), some got a raw deal.

It's a touchy subject right now, and I'm going to state: I don't condone harassment or bullying. I do think you can criticize something without being cruel. I'm not a fan of Ada's voice acting, but I can recognize what the actress was going for. I'll leave it to others to speculate. That being said, I feel like they gave her character a lot less to do. I'm hopeful the Separate Ways DLC fixes that. Krauser is... okay. Just okay. (Which disappoints me as someone who likes the metaltango ship; none of that tension was there this time.)

That being said, I think Nick (Leon's VA) did much better this time around for me. Really appreciated the fine line he played between Leon's depression and his cocky jokes. Luis is great with a correct accent and he's very playful (and all the new backstory for him and his involvement in Umbrella is S tier shit). VA for Ashley is very good. Merchant is CHEF'S KISS, god I loved him, I'd go to the shooting range just to hear him praise me in that accent.

I guess my biggest complaint is the big bads? They just feel so removed from the game. I know it's realism they're going for, but I really liked the hacking of Leon's comms in the OG so we could have conversations with them. It showed personality.

Mendez was... there. Tbf he was there in the OG, too. At least he chased us a bit this time. I hated that I didn't SEE his transformation in his boss fight. He didn't feel like a big threat. (And yes, I missed Leon charge kicking him and getting thrown on his ass, god that was so good.)

Salazar talked at me a few times, but he was so much more of a puppet and tool and thus FUNNY in the OG. I liked how frustrated he got. His remake version, again, is fine. I like that Leon just gets fed up and shoots him all the time. He's at least more present than the other two. The change in his boss fight is good, it has more mobility and I like all the tricks to it.

Saddler is probably my biggest disappointment. I love Saddler in the OG. He has so much personality. He's SO charismatic. He's confident and is a presence from when you first meet him in the Church (and before) until you defeat him in the end. He's in the castle and handles shit himself. He *jokes* with Leon and laughs at him. His fight with Ada in Separate Ways is the hardest thing in the game. I dunno, I'm bummed for him, haha. I think making him this devout cult guy as his defining feature kinda diminished him.

One last thing: I wanted the U3 fight. I'm in the minority, I know. I also know rumors and some of the game's files indicate it might be a DLC thing, but that was the only boss fight in the OG that scared me. It was so different than anything I'd ever done, so I wanted to see how they'd tackle it. All well.

Even with these critiques, I genuinely really enjoy the game. I had a huge smile on my face the entire time. I'm not mad about anything; the changes all worked for a remake and a new generation of people playing it. It's great, no matter these few nitpicks. That's all they are, nitpicks, because the game is spectacular. It's beautiful and it's fun and I really recommend people to play it because this is what a remake SHOULD be.

[amoristt]

Grazing the Fire | IV

well hello. here i am, four years later, once again enamored with nathan enough to finally dust this baby off and pick up where i left it. im a little rusty so bear with me this chapter! much more to come <3

reblogs + tags and replies will make my entire day as i put a lot of effort into this :)! it also helps motivate me!

story continues beneath the read more. let me know if you can’t access it!

Warning: language, very vague s/a mentions

want to support me? heres my kofi!

__________________________

“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?” 

A few hands raise in the corners of your eye, but yours remains atop your desk. Eyes far away, mind in a murky haze and almost completely unaware. All you could focus on were the memories playing on repeat within the confines of your tired, tired brain. Hours ago, you were warm, you were comfortable. Safe.

Cheeks heated to a dusting blush when you remind yourself just how you had awoken that morning. At some point in the night, an angel had blessed you. Allowed you to wake up wrapped around none other than big, bad, Nathan Prescott. Your face nuzzled into his chest, broad but wiry hands pressed firmly over your shoulder and his arm slung over your waist to keep you against him. Thankfully you had been the first to wake up, blinking away the morning sun blazing through his blinds and painting the room stripes of gold. At that moment, before your headache came crashing down onto your skull, you were astounded by him. 

Eye lashes brushing the top of his cheeks, his lips parted ever so slightly, chest rising and falling rhythmically. In that moment, there was no anger, no bitterness. Just a soft and peaceful slumber. It was like being the sole viewer of a magnificent painting- each stroke and detail placed just there just for you to pick out, to remember the curves and sharp edges down to the very foundation. From his unkempt hair down to the way his hand flattened onto the mattress where your indent still lived. Nathan was so beautiful like this. 

For a long time you stayed there. It was as though you were afraid to move- you couldn’t bear to disturb him. You had wondered, if he was always like this, so at peace, what would he be like? Likely soft voiced, mild mannered. He’d do his school assignments without hassle and donate to the charity board. He would wander the town with his friends and listen to music in a beat up truck flying down the stretch of highway overlooking the bold, blue, and beautiful ocean. An entirely different version of himself- carefree, and a fair blue as opposed to a burning flame of red. 

But, if that were the case, you’d never have gotten here. You’d never been both the outsider, and the only seeing eye. A lucky, albeit firstly unwilling witness to the display of depth before you. 

It never hit you like it had quite in that moment how lucky you were.

But- just then- an alarm disturbed what serendipity existed. You nearly leapt out of your skin, clutched your hands to your chest at the sudden sound. A headache wove its way into your once untouched temples. Nathan groaned, mumbled, ‘god damn it’, under his breath, and thus his body was reanimated into life. He rubbed his eyes and he stretched, that familiar scowl coming over his eyes and lips as he took in the sunlight damn near blinding him. A polar opposite to the being you’d appreciated just moments earlier.

“Ugh, fuck, how the fuck is it seven already.” He groaned. “I feel like shit.”

“Well good morning to you too,” You started, welcoming Nathan into the world. “‘I’m feeling pretty shitty as well.” 

You said that, but really… You were more than alright. Your head had hurt, slight nausea crept into the wells of your stomach, but other than that you’re sure you were phenomenally better than you’d have been waking up whereverTate would have left your ass.

“You need to get outta here, before everyone gets up.” Nathan drawled, but he didn’t sound as urgent as you expected him to be. You’d expected him to be angry that you were still in his room, but instead he just… accepted it. 

You snickered, climbing out of his throne of a bed. “Wow, you’re giving me the morning after treatment?” 

“Sure am. Get outta here, whore.”

“Oh fuck you.” 

You located your heels from last night, resting upright near his dorm room door. Heels didn’t sound like the most  practical to sneak out of a dorm with, so you instead opted to grappling them by the straps and carrying them at your side. Hair a mess, outfit riddled with wrinkles and makeup smudged under your eyes, you stood before Nathan in all your glory. He stared at you for a long, odd moment- and you for some reason felt exposed, or even, shy. 

“What?” You ask expectantly, placing a hand on your hip. 

His eyes trail to your line of vision. He shakes his head. “Just thinking about how now you really do look like my morning after.”

“Yeah?” You hummed. “Find it hard to believe you get a lot of those.”

Nathan shoots you a suggestive glance. “You’d be surprised. Everyone wants a piece of Prescott.”

Surely, he was joking, or maybe he wasn’t, but you… Didn’t like hearing that. It made your stomach feel odd, uncomfortably heavy.  As he stood up, reminding you how many inches he had over your size, you swallowed and cleared your throat to flush out that crappy feeling. “Well,” you started, mood having dropped. “I’m gonna go, then.” 

“What got your panties in a twist all the sudden?” He asked, raising a brow and pulling some clothes from his closet, tossing them onto the bed.

The bed you two had shared.

You hated the idea of his morning afters- whoever they may be. 

“Not feeling great. Probably a side effect of the roofies.” You mumbled.

Nathan breathed a laugh. “Probably.”

He seemed so calm, right now. Perhaps due to it being so early, before the outside world had a chance to remind him just why he was so uptight all the tight. Before he needed to be so uptight all the time. He really did have so many versions of himself- all of whom you were slowly becoming familiar with. Compared to the person you’d believed him to be before your run ins, you’d never have assumed someone so dangerous could be so soft as last night, as this morning. In the beginning, you’d feared him. Avoided him like a plague, or a wild animal. Even when you were enraptured in the existence of him, you still wanted to keep away. You’d never have believed someone like you could wake up clutched to his chest, as though he were afraid if he released you, you’d be gone long before he woke. 

Then, a sudden thought struck your mind. 

He’d held you so tight. He’d welcomed you in the morning. No anger, no annoyance. His soft laugh at your banter and taunts. How your heels were standing upright instead of tossed haphazardly into some random corner, where he’d watch your struggle to find. 

How he’d stayed awake to ensure your sleep.

“So are you just gonna stand there?” Nathan called you back to reality, hands gripping the hems of his shirt. “I gotta get ready and you need to wash up so you don’t look like a five dollar stripper.” Cruel words, but with absolutely no bite. You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah. But, hey,” You started. “Thank you for last night.” 

“Yeah, yeah. You gotta start learning to watch your own back.” He says. “There’s gonna be times I won’t be there to drag your ass out of the fire.”

If you’d been charged, if you’d been stricken with a strange defensiveness, you’d have retorted, ‘than stop helping me’, but… Instead you allowed yourself the comfort of protection. You allowed Nathan Prescott to watch you.  

“I know,” You reached for the door. “Thank you.”

With that, you bounded out of the dorm silent as a mouse. 

-----------

In hindsight, you should have left earlier. Class was merely 15 minutes away when you slipped out of Nathan's room and bounded towards the women's dorm. Albeit not exactly a long walk, by the time you discreetly snuck back into your own dorm, you had roughly twenty minutes to somehow pick an outfit from your countless unopened boxes and make yourself even slightly presentable. 

Wiping off whatever make-up you could get and reapplying it, brushing out the tangles of your hair and nearly tearing off your scalp in the process, scattering your nightclothes over your floor and managing to scrounge out a semi-decent outfit for the day… You still looked a mess. If the mirror could laugh, it would have. Black mascara smudges under your eyes and frizzy untreated hair. What a lovely look. 

You’d made it to class just five minutes late, but those five minutes were all it took for all eyes to be on you as you tried to slide into the classroom unnoticed. A couple classmates whispered to their table mates as you passed by, smelling of oversaturated cherry blossom perfume to hopefully cover the scent of alcohol. You sauntered to your seat and sank down with all your weight, suddenly exhausted. You’d made it with just five minutes tainting your record of attendance. The teacher greeted you with a disappointed sigh, and thus, the day began. 

But, it was so hard to focus. All you could think about was Nathan. 

“Alright class, who can tell me,” A board stick clacks against the chalkboard. “Who can answer problem four?” 

You lowered your head. 

“Ah, how about, ___?”

You snaked back into reality, blinking up at the chalk board that was somehow already riddled with math equations. Since you hadn’t been paying attention even in the slightest, your mouth gaped wide open, eyes scanning for something you understood even slightly so you didn’t look like a total idiot. 

Sadly, you were out of luck. The teacher shook his head. “I’m shocked,” He said. “You're normally so on top of things. Oh well.”

“Oh, I’m sure she was on top of things,” A female voice sniggered behind you “Last night.”

Your face flushed a red, hot, ruby. What the hell was she talking about? How had they found out you were with Nathan? You were so sure of being sneaky, there was no way-

“Her and Tate totally got it on last night.”

You whipped around in your seat, facing girls who looked to be clones of some sort. Both with the same dark eyes, short brown hair, and freckles. “What?”

“Alright-” Your teacher blurted. “That's enough. April, May, enough. Let’s not discuss things outside of the classroom.”

The two girls batted their eyes. “Sorry sir.” One spoke, twirling a hand through her hair. Her sister's wide toothy grin never fumbled. 

“Back to it then. Kate, can you help out __ with number four?” 

The small, blonde girl nodded quickly, brushing a lock of hair behind her eyes and offering an empathic nod. 

As you turned around in your seat, her answer fell on deaf ears. Your heart was racing in your chest, hands balled into fists while you stared ahead blankly.  

They couldn’t seriously think that you chose to leave with Tate, could they? Surely someone must have seen the state you were in. Someone other than Nathan.

The clock ticks forward but time feels like it's passing almost unnaturally slow. With just 10 minutes left, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket.

‘Nathan: consider ur favor officially returned 

Your tongue poked from your lips, the tiniest of smiles taking over your once sullen features. Terrible thoughts and worries flew out the window while you type back, ‘damn. here i was gonna to ask you to do a backflip off the roof with me. there goes my plans.’

Nathan types for a moment. Typing, stopping, typing again. 

‘Nathan: soundz like a blast. where and when?’

A small blush heats your cheeks. ‘very funny. thanks to last night i have an entire 24 hour session of studying to catch up with.’

His response is almost instant. ‘Nathan: boringgg. txt me when ur fun.’

Rolling your eyes, you shove your phone back into your pocket. It seems you’ve been able to secure enough of a friendship with him for some mindless banter even outside your little visits. You smile. He’s… Fun to talk to. Surprisingly. 

Class comes to an end and you start to pack up the books and papers you’d hardly even glanced at the whole period. Whatever had been upsetting you before is lost in your mind while you think of the morning, the night before. All the things in-between. But, your happiness doesn’t last long. As you get up, you’re almost forced right back into your seat as a weight shoves into your shoulder. Your books scatter to the floor. April, the one who’d remarked about you earlier, glares at you in what looks to be disgust. 

“Careful April,” Her sister hums as she saunters past you, keeping distance and raising her already shrill tone of voice. “Might wanna watch where you’re walking- I’d hate for you to catch something from this slut.”

You absolutely gawk at her. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

April scoffs. “Oh come on, like everyone doesn’t know what you were up to last night.”

“Sleeping around isn’t a good color on you.” May hikes her bag over her shoulder and snickers at you. They both leave the class together, sickeningly in sync. You’re left stunned where you stand, unsure how the hell your life came to this so quickly. How you’ve stooped so low that the daughters of the world's most uncreative parents are able to bully you based on something that didn’t even happen.

Next class goes no better. The person to your right, a jockey looking brunette guy, asks, ‘have you ever heard of a Tate?’. You say no, that that’s the dumbest name you’ve ever heard. The idiot grins and goes back to marking down likely wrong answers on his test sheet and you debate kicking the leg of his chair out- but you don’t to avoid even more eyes on you. It makes you sick to your stomach- even more than recovering from the roofies does. How can everyone believe it? You barely even knew the guy and you were clearly uncomfortable with his advances. No one saw that? 

After everything you’d worked for to build a reputation, trying so hard to not call out peoples shit for the sake of seeming friendly, tainted over something that didn’t even happen? And the kicker was that it hadn’t even been your fault! He’d drugged you, he’d have taken advantage of you! Yet you were the bad person? 

Class came and went in the blink of an eye this time. Your mind wrapped up in the situation, your stomach churning. You wanted the day to be over with but you still had 4 more classes to suffer through. Why was this happening to you? Was Tate being treated just as horribly, or was he getting pats on the backs of his unaware friends?

Wandering down the halls to your locker, you noticed Lance and Kaz hanging around one of the drinking fountains. Your nerves quelled- your friends would surely make you feel much better. Especially since they had witnessed how awful you were feeling as you left. You approach with a relieved smile, ready to say your truth and finally have someone on your side.

“Hey guys.” You smile, but Lance looks down at his feet while Kaz places her hands to his hips. Your smile fades.

“You could have told us you were gonna spend the night with Tate,” Kaz snaps. “You didn’t need to lie like that just to leave. We were all worried about you and it was for nothing.”

“What?” You feel like you could cry. “No, Kaz, I really did try to leave. Tate tried to drug me and take me home, and-”

“He wouldn’t do that.” Lance interrupts, with a frown. He looks back down at the floor with knitted brows. “I’ve known Tate since before time. He wouldn't do something like that, especially not to one of my best friends. Plus he told me he was really into you. Why would he even try?”

“Are you serious?” You sputter. “You think I’d lie about something like that?”

“You’ve been lying about all sorts of things!” Kaz huffs. “What’s going on with you lately? You’ve been so distant, and secretive. What are you hiding that’s making you lie like this? We’re supposed to be your friends and then you lie to our faces just to go and fuck the first guy that shows you attention.”

“What…?” It was like acid. It was like the rug had been pulled from your feet sending you spiraling down the unending cliff. Kaz, your best friend, all that venom. How could they turn against you like this? What the hell is going on? You felt your throat tighten. “Look, I’m sorry if I’ve been distant, but I’m not lying to you, I-”

“We gotta go.” Lance isn’t in the mood to hear it. “We’ll catch up to you.. Some other time.”

Kaz says nothing as she pushes past you. Lance, at least, spares a short glance over his shoulder. You stood there alone in the hallway, your bag falling off your shoulder and clattering onto the floor with a thud echoing off the walls. Everything you had, all gone at once. 

No one believed you.

---------

With nowhere to go where you felt like you could truly allow yourself to process the day's events, you went to the only place you knew. 

Just outside of campus, where rocks lined the edge of the boundary, overlooking the outskirts of the town and the ocean stretching as far as the eye could see. You settled yourself there, staring at the vast waters and wondering how this had all happened. Unlucky didn’t even begin to cover how it felt. Not only did you feel violated with Tate attempting to do unthinkable things with your unconscious body, but you also felt alone, and walked on. Your best friends hadn’t believed you. While Lance seemed saddened, Kaz was so… Angry. Her words cut like knives into your skin. 

It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. You didn’t deserve this.

You want to talk to Nathan, but knowing him, he’d see your state and bounce instantly. After all, this isn’t exactly very fun of you.

As the sun began to fall, splaying orange and blues over the wide open sky, behind you, you could hear voices. A group of them, some male, some female. Memories of when your notebook had gotten snatched by those two horsed face assholes came flooding back and with all your alertness, you stood up, and decided that this sitting place was no longer safe. Nothing was.

Before you even made it ten feet away, the group had found their way to your spot and gotten comfortable, one of the girls cheering, ‘this’ll be our hangout! look at how pretty the view is!’

You took a short drive down the stretches of road and decided that if you were going to lament in your own sadness, you were at least going to do so in a place that had something to cover the sound of your tears. Plus a nice view.

The beach, littered with its picnic tables and the sounds of crashing waves would suffice just fine. So, you pulled in the desolate parking lot and wandered down the sandy shores until you stumbled upon a picnic table shaded by a large willow cascading lushious branches to block out the sun- a perfect canopy for you to wallow under. 

You had nothing at that moment. No friends, no reputation, no one to believe your tragic tale. And now, you’d just lost the one spot that made you feel comfortable when stress was building into your body like concrete. Tears pricked into the corners of your eyes and you bit your lip, dreading that feeling of a lump in your throat. Why you? Everything had been going so well. How could not even a single person believe that Tate had tried to hurt you?

Well, actually, there was one person.

Of course Nathan believed you. He’d been the one to rescue you, after all. Time and time again it seemed.  How was it that even the ones closest to you would turn their back so fast, yet Nathan seemed to be there even when you didn’t want him to be? Even when you yelled at him, and he yelled right back, fire and sparks falling into embers around the two of you. 

In that moment, you almost felt like you could finally relate to him. A reputation based on lies and things out of your control, paired with a hardheaded attitude to try and combat all the assumptions. 

No wonder he was so angry. 

“Hey bitch,” A voice suddenly called, and you had a split second moment where you were terrified of once again being the victim of a cruel prank or some classmates boredom. “How about next time you have a pity party you don’t fucking call me in the middle of it.”

You blinked away your tears and through the blurriness saw a figure coming towards you. All that sass, the tone...

“Nathan?” You breathed. It only takes moments before he’s in front of you, holding his phone in view, seeing that the call that had been running for nearly ten minute. You flush in embarrassment, pulling your phone from your back pocket. “How did that happen?”

“Well, can your ass dial numbers?” He taunts, ending the call. 

“Damn it, dumb phone must have butt-dialed you. I knew I should’ve gotten a different one.” You mentally kick yourself. “It must have unlocked in my pocket.”

“You don’t have a password on your phone?” He taunts. When you shake your head, he whistles. “You are just begging for a robbery. I’ll keep that in mind when I’m in the mood to send random messages to all your buddies.” 

“Fuck off.” You scowl, and he grins, hopping up on the picnic table next to you. The sun flatters his skin. He’s almost glowing. 

“Speaking of buddies, how the hell did it pick my number out of your sea of friends?”

You shrug. “Probably cuz’ it’s a priority contact.” 

“Oh lala, I’ve been upgraded to priority huh? Does it display a superman logo whenever you give it a ring?”

“Nope. When I press call it rings the nearest asshole in my vicinity. The fact that it’s you is your own problem.”

“Haha, fucking ha.” He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. He stares out at the water, watching waves pull and crash onto the beach. It’s almost beautiful, until he ruins it. “Yknow, you’re a really ugly crier.”

“Wow, thanks.” You shake your head. “That's exactly what I needed to hear right now. Why did you even stay on the line?.” Wiping your eyes, you start to forget your tears. “Couldn’t have been that wild of a conversation.”

Nathan shrugs. “Between the crying and the sound of the waves it was pretty nice.” He grins. “Very educational.” 

“Awesome. Glad I was able to make your day.” It doesn’t feel like your usual bitey remarks. You’re tired, you’re still a little hurt and you can’t stop thinking about how such an amazing morning had turned into such a horrible day.

“So what’s got you all fucked up? Never seen you act like this big of a baby before.”

“Nothing. You already paid off your debt to me per this morning, so feel free to resume our regularly scheduled mutual hatred.” You say, lying through your teeth. You know you’re both past the point of hatred, but you’re feeling jaded, you can’t help it. 

“Oh shut the fuck up,” He groans. “I didn’t drag my ass all the fucking way out to this shit hole of a beach just for you to give me that bullshit. What, did you fail a test? No one matched you on tinder?”

“Everyone thinks me and Tate slept together last night.” You blurt. “I think he’s telling people me and him had sex.”

Nathan tenses his shoulders and grimaces. “Fucking werido.”

“I told my best friends that he tried to take advantage of me and they don’t believe me. One of em’ even said he wouldn’t do something like that.”

“Fuck em’. Who needs best friends.”

“And to make everything so much better, these two bitches that I share four of my classes with harassed me all goddamn day. I mean, fucks sake, how the hell are girls named April and May of all things able to get to me. It’s bullshit. And to make matters worse, Tate is just… Getting away with it.”

“Yeah well, something tells me that Tate’s gonna get a real nice fucking taste of medicine eventually. I just gotta find him first. He’s got a lot of nerve spreading shit around given I knocked his ass onto the pavement.” Nathan brows knit at the memory.

You test the waters. “Why would you do that for me?”

He seems caught off guard, or maybe, surprised that you’d ask. Maybe he thinks you’re both beyond that point. He grumbles, “Why does it matter.”

“I’m just curious. We don’t owe each other anything, remember?”

“Yeah, well,” He huffs. “Don’t ask me questions to shit I don’t know the answer to.”

“You say that an awful lot.” You tease.

“Yeah well you ask dumbass questions an awful lot. Not everything I do has to have some weird ass motives behind it, ___. Maybe I’ve got beef with Tate that’s outside of you.”

“Uhuh. Sure.” You’re about to say something else, when your phone lights up with a text. The display makes your heart fall all over again. 

Unknown Number: you should just pack up and go somewhere else. no one wants std’s from breathing your air xoxo

You don’t even know who that is. Now absolute strangers are on your case. You want to throw your phone into the ocean and leave.

Nathan scoffs. “Don’t even bat a fucking eye for that bitch, whoever the hell they are. Half the hoes you’ve mentioned have slept with half the football team,” he pinches his jacket, “and I would know.”

“Ew, Nathan,” You grimace, that same feeling from the morning returning. It feels, oddly, like jealousy.  He nudges your arm with his elbow and grins playfully. It’s cute.

“Chill, I’m just fucking with you. You gotta know even I wouldn’t fuck girls that desperate. I’m a man of class.”

That last comment actually forces a laugh from you. It’s soft, but it’s real. The first laugh you’ve genuinely had all day. “That’s horrible.” You remark, giggling again.

It's almost like the slight restoration of your mood puts him at ease as well. He leans back on his hands and stares off into the ocean, those sparkling waters under the setting, orange sun. “I’m for real though. Those hoes aren’t worth your time. One day when we blow this shithole of a town they’re not even gonna matter.”

Your brows knit, eyes blinking up at him. Had you heard that right? 

“We?” You ask, perplexed, albeit a little… Hopeful.

Nathan sputters. “Well- Like, when everyone’s older and-”

“You know what, it's fine.” You interrupt. “Fuck it. You’re right. We’re gonna blow this town and they’re just gonna be some shitty memories.”

He sucks in a shaky breath. You’ve never heard him scramble like that, like he’s been unmasked. The look he casts you when you agree, when you don’t tease or patronize and finally hop on the idea that yeah, what if the two of you really didn’t have to deal with it anymore.

What if the two of you could just exist, without the anger. 

You look up at him. “Would you actually do that though?” You start. “With me, of all people?”

He swallows. His expression is tense, but he’s not upset. He appears nervous, caught off guard. Nathan tries, “I-”

Your phone rings. Shrill, piercing. Mood destroying. 

“Jesus Christ, it’s my mom.” You grab your phone and Nathan looks forward, stone faced and silent as you hop off the table and answer. It’s your mother, who all but shouts into the phone that her and your father are taking a surprising visit to Arcadia Bay while they’re traveling by on their vacation. She insists that you be ready in about an hour for dinner, and likely there will be family photos. 

Which means if you still look as wrecked as you did this morning, you’re gonna have a lot of washing up to do. With a quick goodbye, a short and sweet, ‘love you’, you hang up and sigh. 

“You still tell your mom you love her?” He teases. “What are you, five?”

You frown. “You don’t tell your parents you love them?”

Nathan side eyes you, and just shrugs. It is all the answer you need, really, and for his sake you decide it wouldn’t be best to press the issue. Not now. But- it still makes your heart hurt just a little. You wished that he’d had it better growing up. 

“Right… Do you want a ride home?”

“Fuck no, what am I,” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “a fucking girl scout?” 

“I was just offering, weirdo.” When he doesn't get up, you feel like you’re missing out. Like if you stayed, maybe, just maybe, you’d get to know him a little better. “Hey, if you want, I can stay for a bit longer.”

He rolls his eyes. “You’re needed elsewhere. But,” he shrugs. “I don’t know. Fuckin’... Text me or something. Or not, I don’t care either way.”

There’s a small warmth in your chest that rises to your cheeks. He wants you to text him. “Yeah,” You say. “If I’m feeling fun.”

And with that, you bid him farewell, beginning your descent to the parking lot. 

“Hey,” He calls, and you turn just in time to catch a small item he’s tossed right at you. A tiny key resides in the palm of your hand. “Spare. If shit hits the fan again-...” He shrugs, and actually looks away. “Just don’t be too fucking loud of I’ll kick your ass out myself. No Madison needed.”

The widest grin plays over your lips. “I’m gonna re-decorate your room while you’re gone.”

“Ah, you fucking better not.” He shouts. “Actually- you know what, give it back.” 

“No, no! I’m sorry.” You play with the key between your fingers. “Thanks for this.”

“Yeah, whatever. Don’t lose it and remember- emergencies only. I don’t need you watching me sleep like fucking freak. We’re past that stage.” 

“How many times will I have to say I was never watching you. Christ… But, alright. See ya, then.” The key is heavy in your palm. 

You place it into your pocket and give him one last glance before you take off, leaving him to enjoy the sound of waves, birds, and the absence of your tears.

[jessbeinme15s-notebook]

The chronicles of the Kuroo household

Description : timeskip!Kuroo with mom!reader and baby Kenma (8) and Lev (6) (Kenma and Lev are the reader and Kuroo's kids)

Author's note : I wanted to post a lil something for Kenma's birthday (not really Kenma-centric but yeah) bc hahahaha I haven't posted on this blog in such a long time

Kenma hangs around with Kuroo a lot but is more like you

Lev has to be held at all times or the house is on fire

Lev brought home a cat and Kenma named him kitten

Kuroo came home from his workplace and literally just went "if Kenma's fine with it I don't see the problem"

Lev and his dad have the literal same sleepy face. You and Kenma's sleepy face is basically copy pasted

You and Kenma are night owls and often sneak out at random times during the night as dada Tetsu is asleep with Lev on his back

Tetsuro always knows, even when deep in sleep, when you and Kenma soundlessly move out the room and make your way to the kitchen, (Kenma with his fully charged PSP and you with your book) but doesn't wake up so Lev can sleep in peace

Lev is taller than Kenma and Kenma has physically beaten him to make him "shorter"

(thankfully you stopped it)

since then Lev makes it a point to walk in a way that makes him look short (kinda awkward, but cute nonetheless) so Kenma can be a lil taller and cooler

You once found Lev and Kitten in the kitchen at night and deadass couldn't tell who was who bc the lights were off

You and Kenma are definitely NOT morning people

but Kuroo and Lev?? Wake up before the sun rises, make their side of the bed, go out for a jog, cook breakfast

(yes this is me being unable to cook and relying on him to make meals or ordering takeout which is something he doesn't like)

heck, even practice volleyball (if Tetsuro has a day off)

before you and Kenma wake up groggily at like 11:30 and curse the sun for being so bright, drawing all the curtains

The only way to keep you both awake is your books and Kenma's PSP

And maybe coffee (for you) and the promise of apple pie for Kenma (he goes feral when he doesn't get it so your house is stocked with that stuff)

Ok moving on to Kenma and Lev's relationship

Kenma prefers to hang around in silence as it helps him think but Lev always needs some kind of background music or sound playing

It was difficult in the beginning, getting Kenma accustomed to having something always playing, but eventually he didn't mind it that much

Lev always waits outside Kenma's classroom so they can meet you together (you're waiting for both of them near the school's door)

Kenma says he doesn't have to and that he'd rather walk alone but he secretly likes it when Lev accompanies him as he'll have someone to navigate him through the halls as his head is buried in his PSP the moment he leaves class

Lev is that one kid who greets everyone on their way out and all Kenma wants to do is go home

At first Kenma... didn't really like the idea of having a younger brother. You and Tetsuro, being the good parents you were, understood, but also explained to him that he'd have someone to talk to when the two of you were busy

He said"I don't wanna talk to anyone"

Kuroo finally convinced Kenma by saying that "he'd have someone to do his chores for him" you slapped his arm but Kenma agreed in the end

Kenma did do his chores, but he'd often make Lev do them for him when he was focused on beating a hard level

Lev would do it so happily! He'd be like "Oh nii-san wants me to do something for him??? Sure!!!!!" and run off to finish Kenma's chore for him

Kuroo watches him and cackles at Lev and how clever Kenma was, you nudge him to stop

Lev pesters Kenma to play with him, and Kuroo encourages him to join them while playing volleyball, so he just sighs and joins them

This sleepy, tired child and his chubby face<333

You and Kuroo take Fridays off so you could have a long weekend. It's often spent playing volleyball (Kuroo doesn't want his passion to die, so he makes it a point to play volleyball)

Or sometimes you guys go out to an amusement park or to a new restaurant you found

Sometimes you guys go to tourist destinations around the place you live

Museum visits every month are a must as you and Kuroo are huge nerds science and history enthusiasts

If I had to describe the vibe you would have around your house, it's melodious. Not too loud, not too soft, but gentle

Okay that's enough for today :,) time to go back to migrating

I hope you guys liked it!

Taglist : @sexy-bee-juice

Reply to this to be added to my taglist!

Likes and reblogs are very much appreciated!

[yournameyn]

Feeling Deeply: Chapter 3

Genre: Fluff so much fluff. Arranged Marriage Fic.

Pairing: Namjoon x OC

Summary: The story of two deeply feeling nerds who find themselves in an arranged marriage. Something neither of them really wanted but are now discovering just how much each needed. Away from their childhoods, their families & their homes, Namjoon & Brishti (the OC) are privileged immigrants who slowly build a home, a family & a true sense of self, together in 1960s London. Please note this is not the typical immigrant experience of that timespace and I’ve taken many-a-leap to write the fluuuufffiness I wanted to write.

A/N: It’s unabashed fluff. And eventual smut but I hope you’re okay with a really slow burn. Like, reaaaally slow. Both our characters are introverts & met as strangers so it’s going to take them a while to get the *ahem* fire going.

Big big big love to @sahmfanficbts, @mintjoonlep, @holdinbacksecrets, @sunshyngal, @xjoonchildx - who give me so much love and encouragement & whose straight up genius writing makes me swooooon!

Characters: Brishti is our OC. She’s a feminist, obviously. She’s Indian, wheatish in colour, curvy & slightly short. Brishti is bengali & her name means ‘Rain’. Her pet name is RimJhim which means the sound of rain. (Namjoon calls her Rim & she calls him Joon) This whole story is a tribute to Forever Rain.

The Namjoon in this fic is what I imagine he would have been had he not followed his dreams at the age of 13. Hopefully, I’m able to do justice to the idea as I write ahead.

Current Chapter: London, late 1963. Brishti & Namjoon meet her colleagues. They listen to the then-rising band The Beatles & take a strong liking to one particular track, if you know what I mean. Again, sorry to spoil but there’s no smut yet. I was not kidding when I said it’s a slooooow burn. Next chapter, it’s happening. There's not much conversation in this chapter, either. Is this almost 3k words of just CONTEXT to the actual smut or just a tease - you tell me!

Also, someone else we love is also introduced in this chapter!

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Previously in Feeling Deeply: Preface Chapter 1 Chapter 2

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Namjoon loved his weekends now. They were like a real couple, Brishti and him… setting the never ending “final touches” in their home, together. They went out to pubs and gardens, libraries and cafes together. And yet, to both their secret dismay, they hadn't moved ahead from that one hug they had shared. They'd played, instead, with words and been more and more intimate in their conversations.

Brishti introduced him to her colleagues - her group among the staff at the British Library. Working there was her pride & these folk were her joy. This was nerve-wracking for Namjoon because he knew how much she loved them. These were her people. Her true tribe. It was almost like he was meeting her parents. Instead of two indian elders (whom he had spoken to on the only international call she had made since their wedding), he found himself faced with a weird band of strangers. An English couple Harry & Kate who had adopted the library instead of a child, an elder woman from Japan, Sayuri-san - whose stories Brishti narrated to Namjoon all the time, a Korean guy (his age!) & Yana, a girl, Brishti’s age who was half English, half Iranian & completely in love with Sam, the black historian from America, as Brishti had reported. As they settled in for their picnic in Hyde Park, Namjoon tried his best to hide his shock when he found Sam was - one, a girl & two, as tall as him. He wondered which attribute threw him off more. Still, he was completely enjoying himself with Brishti’s Unlikely Gang of Weirdos that Will Save The World. That’s what she called them. Sayuri-san agreed - They were all groovy outcasts who had somehow clawed their way into the (apparently) cutthroat world mainstream librarians.

Brishti was glad to see Namjoon really hit it off with the only other Korean she knew, the guy who’d told her about the only place in London that sold black bean noodles, made the right way. Namjoon had almost cried when she had brought them over from work. The two of them spoke as if they had been thick as thieves for years. They talked about Korean poetry and the folk music they had to participate in their childhoods. They spoke about the music archive section of the library, which was heaven for Min Yoongi. The passion in Yoongi’s eyes when he spoke about maybe someday taking a class about world music appreciation was something Namjoon wished to have too, but wasn’t yet ready to admit.

As they were packing up their picnic, the conversation flowed to a new band in the country. Brishti spoke about how every young girl she had met recently just could not stop talking about how groovy The Beatles are. The elders in charge of the music archive brushed them off as a fad but she was insistent to bring it up every meeting - after all, it was teenage girls that had popularised & helped usher in the lyrical music of Vivaldi. Or of Lisztomania - that popularised the soft romantic tones of Liszt which formed the base of the modern love song. Namjoon loved to see her almost up in arms, struggling to find a better word for the admiration that girls had for music and musicians.

“It’s not hysteria… or fanaticism… it- it’s just love.” She had said. No one disagreed. In fact, everyone in her group was persuaded to (at least) give The Beatles a listen over the weekend.

And so, This evening, A Hard Day’s Night played as they arranged books & records at home. Brishti was arranging the books, apparently not having had enough of the task despite working as a full time librarian. Namjoon’s heart ached when he thought about how Brishti loved her job. Thankfully his mind never stayed on that thought for long. Namjoon wished he could pay attention to the song. These days, paying attention to anything but Brishti was almost impossible. The smallest movement in her, the smallest stir intrigued him.

Meanwhile, Brishti had been trying to figure out a way of getting him to touch her &… as silly as that sounded to her rational mind she couldn’t really come out and say it. Night after night when they’d stayed up talking about things or listening to music or just simply reading their respective books, on the floor or by the window with their legs sprawled out in front of each other, she wished he’d touch her… that somehow maybe he’d notice her feet. Strange as it was, she kept thinking about his hands, his fingers tracing the contour of her ankle while she didn’t turn one page of her book for almost an hour.

She understood the problem - both of them were so hyper-aware of each other while pretending not to be that an accident couldn’t really occur. Things had to be done & Brishti thought about how she shouldn’t let tradition dictate who makes the first move. She also kicked herself for not following tradition and stopping him from taking his pillow & blanket away to the couch on their wedding night they were supposed to sleep on the same bed. It made her heart race that she could sleep next to this Korean Greek God-like feminist man. Ufff. She was covered in tense knots everywhere and anytime she even thought of making a move, the fear in her would make her do something else - like unpack all the books into a makeshift bookcase.

They were facing in opposite directions in the same room and Brishti couldn’t help glancing back at Namjoon again and again. The broad expanse of his back made her long to hug him again. They hadn’t touched each other since she let go of the hug. It made her ache, the memory of him moving away from her. Next time they touch, she wouldn’t let go first - of this she was certain.

Brishti looked at him again & smiled, wondering how someone so tall could look so tiny & cute. Namjoon did look surprisingly tiny, poring over the vinyls & neatly arranging them. She smiled thinking about how he had spent some time wondering if the records should be kept chronologically or alphabetically.

Finally, he had announced, “Ofcourse! I have it! The category has to be mood! The...” Brishti loved the small pauses Namjoon took to find the perfect word. “The story of each album and the feeling it brings out!” The way he smiled, pleased with his decision created a flutter in her heart.

Looking at him poring over each song in each album trying to discern what the overall feeling of it was, she felt an unbearable urge to tease him, to disturb his cataloguing. She would go over and irritate him… probably tickle his waist or blow in his ears. Or maybe just nuzzle his neck. Brishti wondered if these things would actually irritate Namjoon or perhaps lead to something else... The thought made her blush so fiercely, she turned to face her pile of books. Brishti wished she could walk over, silently demand a space in Namjoon’s lap, he would throw out anything that crowded his lap & she would sit there, being cuddled, enveloped in him & talk about songs… if she could talk, at such a moment that is.

She needed to stop staring at him and yet, she couldn’t help but look... She was a warm-blooded woman after all. And Kim Namjoon was a particularly delicious man. It wasn’t so much that he was tall… plenty of men were tall. (She rolled her eyes thinking how most everyone was taller than her.) Unlike other men, though, Namjoon was not awkward or gangly. He had wide shoulders and a gorgeous neck. She had to actively keep her eyes focussed on something else when she could see the contours of his chest.

In that first week of them living together she wanted him. She felt the heat of being seen by those sharp beautiful eyes that held a deep fire in them. Brishti found herself thinking more and more about how his back looked, how it would feel to be cuddled up against that broad beautiful chest, how it would feel to touch him and to be touched by him. She blushed & laughed to herself when her spontaneous thought was that she’d like to “climb that tree” - whenever Namjoon stood up after being scrunched over his table, writing. That yearning awakened a much fiercer part of Brishti -

Why couldn’t she?! He was her husband. They have to come closer at some point, so what was she waiting for? Without a second thought, her body moved to get up & walk over to him. But as it had happened every time, her mind caught up to her at the very last minute. As Brishti walked over, bent, stretched out... for a pile of books close to him. She was close enough to touch him. And still, she just picked up the books & walked back. Thankfully for Brishti, she had a natural sort of nonchalance. Something Namjoon envied. Brishti did not know what this little stunt of hers did to him. Namjoon, with his fists balled, had to hold himself back in that moment. He had to stop himself from grabbing her; from pulling her into his lap and having his way with her.

The gentle thread-like tug he had felt when he’d first seen Brishti’s photos... it had become a magnetic pull now. Shocking and also somehow inevitable.

It had been more than a month of them living together and Namjoon was wrestling with something. An idea, apparently. It was as though an idea was caught in a vast net that he had laid out across the ocean of his mind. But he was having trouble fishing it out. He understood there was no point forcing it, that the idea, the thought would emerge when it, or when he was ready.

Taking his time, slowly, Namjoon was understanding how he had done the perfect thing for her, accidentally. He was confused too, when his instinct told him to let his bride sleep alone on their marital bed the first night they had moved in this flat. He had reasoned that it was the decent thing to do. Unknowingly, he gave her the time to explore, to own that space; Not crowding her with his body. Not invading her with expectations that, no matter how silent, would be blaringly evident. That was the right thing to do. Then.

Now things felt different. Now, it felt like she had made that space, this whole home hers. But then that’s where his thought-net felt stuck. The thought he wanted to fish out kept pulling at him, telling him she needed something else now. Like Brishti craved something else now. He wondered if she, like him, craved touch. Was that why her body instinctively moved, stretched, inched closer towards him these days. Was this why he’d found his shirt among the blanket instead of the laundry basket the other day?

Namjoon tried to shake off these thoughts again - they felt dangerous, explosive. What was happening? He looked back at his beautiful wife and saw her stretch her arms, then her abdomen, all the way till her hips and then bend forward to touch her toes. She mewled, very softly when she did that. Namjoon felt the familiar flip in his stomach again. This time, thankfully, the thought leapt up within reach too.

Namjoon suddenly understood just how feline Brishti is. Somehow, it was a key he needed. The idea surged through him & made him stand up. Because it wasn’t just an idea, it was an epiphany. Brishti looked at him, her eyes asking, saying, expecting something he didn’t understand fully.

The tingle that ran down his spine told him he was about to.

“You okay?” Brishti asked, concerned & embarrassed because the move she expected hadn’t come. But then again, it was probably too much to think Namjoon had stood up to carry her & throw her on their bed. Wasn’t it?

He was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room looking confused. Namjoon recovered & asked, “Coffee?”

Brishti smiled & nodded. Namjoon rushed to the kitchen. The catching of this thought excited him. Because after living with her for almost a month, he had just now realised it is this attribute - of being feline-ly feminine or femininely feline - that is what makes his body almost overpower any semblance of restraint his mind had imposed.

At first it seemed silly but soon Namjoon realised it isn’t. Not at all. It really clicked in place like the right key, the precise note does - he understood how to BE with her. Be there for the feline creature-like woman that Brishti was revealing herself to be: The way she walked, slowly almost moodily… letting her feet touch and caress each surface her feet felt. She would be walking across the room but would stop just to walk back and forth, softly, in a way that one can’t really call pacing at all. And everytime she touched something she liked, or saw or tasted something she loved, she made these small sounds that would make Namjoon’s heart melt. They were always half-way between a purr and a moan and they made him wonder what pleasure would make her sound like. Namjoon thought about how Brishti is graceful but her grace, like the curves of her beautiful body, aren’t timid; How, it’s a grace that announces itself... sometimes even before she walks in.

It isn’t the only thing that attracted him to her, not by a far cry. Namjoon thought about how he loves her mind, her words. But this felt, somehow, more… more visceral or... wanting to be. Could something formless long to be touched?; To become tangible, touchable? This feeling, in his chest and his gut. This feeling within him, it jumps, flips every time she walks by. These days it seems like Brishti walks by closer and closer each time she passes him. Like she needs to feel the texture of his skin the same way she needs to feel the slight drag of the rug on the soles of her feet. And it just adds more depth to this deep cavernous feeling within him. Instinctual whispers echoing within-

Why does it feel like he needs to touch a fragrance?

Like all he needs to do is reach out?

Like the moment he will reach out, an essence, an aroma will become an experience?

It felt like Brishti was calling out to him silently. That magnetic pull was stronger than ever and it was pulling him, drawing him to her, telling him to reach out, so she can find her way to him. That feeling, the way he was being pulled… that was feline. Like she needed him to reach out so she could make him hers too. And then, then it happened. The first four notes of ‘And I love her’ played and pulled him to her.

In that moment, in their 7th week together, as Brishti was tracing the lines of Namjoon’s back, gawking at him, thinking about this man - this gorgeous, curious, wonderful man - as her husband… a thought so fantastical it would make her squirm in her seat. Just as she was recovering from the thought, releasing the tension in her shoulders. The knots he didn’t know he caused, Namjoon kept the cups of coffee aside and extended his hand.

‘I give her all my love, that’s all I do…” To him, the instant she did it again, - the stretching her arms all the way up. The little moan she made every time she did that, the way her back arched and highlighted all her curves… it drove him, his body, his instinct to reach out.

“And if you saw my love, you’d love her too.”

The stomach flipped, again. This time, though, his instinct acted before his mind knew what he was supposed to do. Thankfully, his mind caught up -

He had just reached out. Reached out for her to claim him. But to one who didn’t know everything that had been going on inside both their hearts, it would look like he was inviting her to dance. Brishti looked at his hand and then at his eyes and suddenly Namjoon understood the reason for this magnetic pull... these lyrics is what she was saying all along -

“A love like ours could never die, as long as I have you near me...”

She took his hand & left no distance between them. Brishti realised there was music playing in the room only after she took Namjoon’s hand. Before this, she could only hear her own heartbeat, sharpened to an intensity never before experienced. Sharpened to a glint in a way that only love can. Love… and unmistakable, undeniable lust. Her heart had been beating with so much longing it had clouded everything else.

Now, in this moment, with his heart so close to hers, she could finally hear the music. This is what she had needed. This is what her heart had been pining for. And she knew. Without the shadow of a doubt she knew... he had heard her.

Brishti moved to the simple guitar strings that were tugging them both. The melody deepened each time the same four notes played. And each time they rooted deeper in the soil of her heart, she moved him too. His hands on her waist, caressing her curves everytime the four notes played. And they played over and over again… Namjoon followed the lyrics and sang along with his beautiful deep dark chocolate voice in her ears, saying -

“And I love her...”,

And his strong arms around her. How could she… Brishti, even if her name didn’t mean the rain, how could she have resisted pouring?

“Bright are the stars that shine, dark is the sky, I know this love of mine will never die...”

This evening was the first time they’d really touched each other. Stood so close to each other. Moved together.

------------------------------------------------------

Oooooh god you read it?! Thank you so much! Please let me know what you think! Get into my messages about it! I would love to hear what you felt about this!

This is the song that's mentioned here in case anyone is curious.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: The Suicide Squad

Suicide Squad has frequently been touted as one of the worst comic book movies ever, and honestly? I don’t really agree, even if I almost wholeheartedly agree with every criticism of it. The editing is bad, the story is a mess, the Squad’s friendship is nonexistent, characters like Waller act like absolute idiots, Enchantress is a bad character and an absurd villain for these people to face… And yet, the core cast of scoundrels are all pretty likable when you wipe off the crap they’re buried under. These characters all could have shined bright if they were given competent writing and direction; the ideas are there, but the execution is unbelievably flawed due to excessive executive meddling (and probably a bit of pretentiousness on director David Ayer’s part). If only there was a director capable of taking the concept of a bunch of C-list villains getting together and performing dangerous missions and, along the way, becoming a found family…

That director thankfully exists, and his name is James Gunn. Gunn has already shown twice that he is capable of doing “a bunch of assholes become a found family” really well with the two Guardians of the Galaxy films, films that have a lot of style and flair that help make them the best films in the MCU, and considering Suicide Squad was mangled the way it was to try and be more in line with his Guardians films, it only makes sense to pull him in to give Task Force X another shot. Why settle for imitations when you can get the real thing? It’s not like he was doing anything else while Mickey Mouse put him in time out for naughty tweets, after all.

But this isn’t Gunn under the thumb of the Mouse, oh no; this is Gunn allowed to go absolutely wild. This is Gunn given the budget of a modern superhero film and asked to make a Troma picture, with all the blood, gore, and cheesiness that entails, and by god did he pull it off. Right from the get go we are given a taste of just what sort of movie we’re in for as a mangy child-murdering weasel man shows up and Nathan Fillion detaches his arms from his body to gently tap enemy soldiers on the head, and somehow things only get wackier from there.

Gunn seemed to actively go out of his way to fix every single problem of the original film. The characters, for instance, are all fairly similar to those of the first film. Bloodsport is clearly the stand in for Deadshot, but where Deadshot was just your average charming, funny Will Smith role to the point it could get distracting, Idris Elba makes Bloodsport a tired straight man to the wacky antics around him and portrays his growth through the film very well. Peacemaker is the jackass of the team in the vein of Captain Boomerang, but where Boomerang had little use in the narrative despite being the best and funniest non-Harley member of the team, Peacemaker is given his full due, with John Cena making him one of the funniest assholes ever put to film and even giving him a bit of depth and moral complexity. King Shark, AKA Nanaue, is obviously Killer Croc’s replacement, but where Croc was bland and really just stood in the background the whole movie, Nanaue is a sweet, charming, funny oaf with brutal strength who is just absolutely lovable and adorable, all capped off with hilarious vocal delivery from Sylvester Stallone himself. Polka-Dot Man is something of a replacement for El Diablo, though while El Diablo was really bungled by the narrative despite being well-acted and sympathetic, Polka-Dot Man is given ample opportunity to be funny, tragic, and useful all at once, and gives him a bit of an arc (pretty impressive for a character who was added in solely because Gunn googled who the lamest DC villains were). And finally, Ratcatcher is something of the replacement for Katana, being the second woman of the squad and the token good teammate, though where Katana was awkwardly shoehorned in at the last minute, Ratcatcher is clearly the heart of this team and brings the band together. Overall, the new Squad is leagues better than the original, and you will care for this band of criminals by the film’s end.

Returning characters get their due as well, particularly the ones really screwed over by the first film Waller and Flag get it the best of all. In the first film, Waller’s entire scheme was stupid, nonsensical, contradictory, and basically everything she did went against what was told to us about her, namely that she is a master manipulator. It was really a waste of Viola Davis, who had the presence and mannerisms down but who was constantly being failed by a shoddy script. Thankfully, that’s not the case here; Waller is very much the ultimate, manipulative girlboss she should be, from using her own troops as a distraction for another team to threatening Bloodsport with his daughter getting raped and murdered in prison over a minor offense if he doesn’t join her Suicide Squad. She is a stone cold bitch you will love to hate, and is easily one of the best comic book villains in film now (quite the turnaround all things considered). Flag is an actual character in this movie, with great chemistry with the members of the new Squad, particularly Bloodsport and Harley. Much like Bloodsport, he also gets a bit of a rivalry with Peacemaker going, which ends up being entertaining and even leads to a truly sad moment late in the film. Quite impressive for a guy who did nothing but spout awkward exposition in the first film.

Then we have Harley. I’m going to be honest, Harley has never been written better than she was in this film. While Robbie has had the character down from day one, the scripts have consistently failed her. The original film did nothing with her but sexualize her and have her spout crappy one-liners, and while Birds of Prey was a massive step up and had her written as she should be, the overall narrative of that film didn’t quite give her the due she deserved due to her feeling like a passive character pushed around by the flow of the plot. Here, though, Harley fully grasps at what’s given to and takes charge when she can, leading to one of the best action scenes in a film full of them. She ahs great interactions with her teammates and is just consistently funnier than she ever has been before, and it makes me happy to know someone who loves this character as much as Robbie does is finally getting to truly shine as she deserves.

The music and editing are vastly better. Remember how the original film had a new licensed song every minute, and almost all of them made no sense, and the music that played for Deadshot was exclusively rap artists (which was lowkey kinda racist)? Well, Gunn is bringing his ability to weave songs into the narrative with this one, but he also gives plenty of time for the music composed for the film to shine. As for the editing, gone are the obtrusive comic-book style cards that announce stupid throwaway details (and in a few cases, plot points you will very likely miss), replaced by more amusing and less obtrusive gags. The movie is also cut in a way where, you know, it makes sense. Everything flows naturally, and while there are a couple of points where time rewinds so we can see how we got to a certain point, it’s never so confusing that you can’t follow it.

The stakes are vastly overhauled. It made zero sense in the first film that Waller would assemble a team that consists of people whose powers range from “is good with weapons” to “is an Aztec fire god” to “is a big ugly crocodile man” to take on Superman-level threats. This is like if you sent a Boy Scout troop to fight Godzilla, it’s just not gonna end well and there’s an absurd disparity in power levels. Here, the team is being sent on a general black ops mission and have their skills selected by who would be most useful for the mission, and while they do end up taking on something a bit outside their context in the form of a certain cyclopean starfish alien, it’s a bit easier to swallow because of the buildup and because “big angry alien” is a lot more sensible as a threat to black op vigilantes than “ancient interdimensional witch goddess with a zombie army.”

Most importantly, though, is that this film lives up to its title. This is very much a suicide mission, and where the last team made it out relatively unscathed, this film suffers a lot of casualties. Characters die for gags, characters die suddenly, you might think a character is going to be a big, important part of the plot only for them to be dispatched right when it seems they’re getting going. For a film like this, it works perfectly, and some of the deaths are absolutely hilarious. That being said, you can kind of predict who lives and who dies based on star power alone; do you really think Harley’s gonna bite it? Come on.

I don’t really have many issues with the movie, but I will reiterate: this is essentially a Troma film with a massive budget, made by one of their alumni. Troma is a studio that makes gory, gross, and awesome B-grade movies and a similar irreverent mentality is on display here. If you can stomach gore, violence, and absurdity then this is a film you’re probably going to get into, but it’s definitely not the kind of comic book movie for everyone. Thankfully, it is exactly the kind of comic book movie for me. It honestly feels like the sort of movie I’d want to make, where I take a bunch of stupid C-list villains with dumb powers and give them actual development and characterization to the point the audience feels something for them. You’re going to be moved by a girl who controls rats, a stupid shark man, and a depressed dude who shoots polka-dots from his hands, and you’re not going to care.

I really hope they follow this up with another one, especially if they bring James Gunn back. There were a lot of characters he considered for the team, and a lot of them have potential, be that hilarious or dramatic. I mean, the man considered Mr. Freeze, that guy could be one hell of a leading man! Round out the team with some of the considered ideas like Rainbow Creature, Solomon Grundy, Chemo, Livewire, Punch and Jewelee, Man-Bat, Dogwelder, and the almighty Kite Man, and you’ve got one hell of a Suicide Squad! Also, maybe get Gunn to consider Crazy Quilt and Condiment King.

Really, the possibilities are endless, and that’s what the fun of a Suicide Squad movie should be: seeing the dumbest dregs of comic book history thrown into a place where they’re probably going to die horribly. Gunn managed to get that when Ayer couldn’t, and the results are perhaps his magnum opus. This is Gunn at his best and most free, unchained from the restrictions of forcing a film to tie into a bunch of others while also using all the tricks of his signature style to craft a damn fine film that easily holds up on its own outside the context of the DCEU. These are the kind of comic book movies we need, so let’s hope this film gets the respect it deserves so it acts as a wakeup call for studios content to churn out

[sevenkittensinatrenchcoat]

Modern Munkustraps and Why 2016 Misto Is Boring (And Also Why Tugger Is Less Good Now)

So, yeah, this is a very long, poorly edited essay that is basically just me writing down a bunch of feelings about the Broadway Revival and why it doesn’t work for me. Of course, it’s not the worst thing out there and everyone can like what they like, but here’s one big reason why I don’t like this particular thing.

So, I’ve mentioned that, having seen the whole thing, I don’t particularly like the 2016 Broadway Revival of Cats. I adore the cast, I appreciate the effort everyone clearly put into it, and some individual numbers work well enough out of context, but it’s a case of strong parts forming a weak whole.

One of the problems I had with it was with the character of Mistoffelees. It should be clear to anyone looking around this blog that Mistoffelees is my favorite character in the show. I hate insulting any Mistoffelees, which is why 2019 Mistoffelees frustrates me so much. The moment I realized I’d become a fan of Cats was when I was genuinely angry when I learned that Tom Hooper cast a non-dancer as Mistoffelees. Basically, problems with Mistoffelees will motivate me to rant.

In 2016, the problem with Mistoffelees isn’t the choreography. I prefer the original to the new stuff, but Misto’s material was fine. Ricky Ubeda completely nailed the dance part of the role. Broadway Revival Misto is still worlds above Tom Hooper’s Misto in every way. Really, the problem with 2016 Misto is that it often feels like he isn’t there. He has very little presence. His dancing is impressive, and his dynamic with Tugger is cute and fun, but he has no real personality outside of it. I don’t know how he feels about any character other than Tugger. There are no moments that center around him other than his dance solos. He doesn’t seem to have much of an arc when it comes to saving the day at the end. Is he already confident in his magical abilities? Is he still unsure of himself? Is he trying to prove himself? How does he feel about anything that happens to or around him?

As a show with a large ensemble cast, it’s impossible for every single character to feel fully developed. But, in shows/stories with large ensemble casts, there are always a few characters who stand out. Instead of a single protagonist with one big arc, you have several main characters with their own small arcs. Munkustrap is the group’s leader who has to fight to defend his tribe. Demeter has survived an abusive relationship and she confronts her abuser and starts to move on, finding a potential partner who she can trust. In the 1998 film, at least, Mungojerrie has an interesting arc. He used to work for Macavity, but he left. When Macavity shows up, Jerrie’s terrified of him. He knows what he’s capable of and probably witnessed some really messed up shit. But, when Munkustrap is wounded and Alonzo is struggling to fight Macavity on his own, Jerrie is the first cat to join the fight. He doesn’t do very well, but this inspires other cats to help out as well, and Macavity is eventually outnumbered and forced to flee.

Mistoffelees is another character with an arc. He’s coming of age, no longer a child but not really an adult either. He’s trying to prove himself and be seen as an adult. He has magical powers, but he still struggles to control them and doesn’t know exactly what he’s capable of. Outside of magic and dancing, he’s awkward and doesn’t fit in socially with neither the kittens nor the adults.

When Old Deuteronomy is kidnapped, and everything seems hopeless, Mistoffelees really isn’t participating in the action. Although he’s publicly done magic before and other cats have noticed, Tugger’s suggestion that Mistoffelees might be able to help is dismissed by most of the group at first. But, Tugger is completely confident in Misto’s abilities. He’s the first cat to believe in him that much. Tugger hypes up Misto and his confidence builds until he’s willing to try using magic to bring Old Deuteronomy back and succeeds. He’s a hero now, and he’s known to have a skill that no one else possesses. He’s respected by the tribe. As someone who can be consulted in emergencies, Mistoffelees can now be seen as an adult.

Now, Mistoffelees didn’t always have this arc. The Originial Broadway Misto comes across as completely confident in his abilities the whole time. Actors who played Misto in the 80s tended to play him as the same age as Munkustrap, already one of the adults and already established in the tribe. But, starting in the early 90s, some actors started to play Misto younger and less secure. By the time the filmed 1998 production was done, that had become the standard way to play Misto. I think the actors cast in the role wanted to make things more interesting, since Misto getting Old Deuteronomy back is a bit of an anticlimax. There’s a problem. It’s solved immediately. On with the show. But this was a big, spectacle-heavy number near the end of the show. It feels like it should mean something, but it just doesn’t. Old Deuteronomy is easily returned to the tribe and then Memory happens and makes everything else seem meaningless.

But, what if Mister Mistoffelees wasn’t about getting Old Deuteronomy back? What if Mister Mistoffelees was actually about Mister Mistoffelees. Having the song be a moment when a young cat comes of age makes it feel like the song means something, even if the stuff with Old Deuteronomy is anticlimactic. Since it happens late in the show, there’s plenty of time to build up to it. Misto is on stage for most of the musical. His character can be established. We can see him trying to prove himself and failing to socially connect with the other cats. So, when he does prove himself and he does gain the approval of the cats who dismissed him as a weirdo, it’s satisfying. The song has a bigger impact when Mistoffelees is portrayed as a young man coming of age.

So, what does any of this have to do with the Broadway Revival? Why does the title of this essay mention Munkustrap when the essay itself is mostly about Mistoffelees?

Well, it’s because Revival Era Munkustraps have stolen Misto’s character arc.

The Broadway Revival isn’t the only version of Cats to do this. Tecklenburg actually constructs the story around it, making Munkustrap the protagonist. It seems like the changes to Munkustrap’s character started to appear when the show started getting revived. When I say Revival Era, I mean every version of Cats put on after the London Revival in 2014, though there are naturally some outliers. This was when Grizabella was redesigned and rewritten. This was when an attempt was made to redesign and rewrite Tugger, which was thankfully abandoned soon after.

Before this era, it wasn’t really confirmed to the general public that Munkustrap and Tugger were Old Deuteronomy’s sons. They were still often portrayed that way, but it wasn’t something anyone thought viewers needed to know. The dynamic between Munkustrap and Tugger began to change now that everyone was expected to view them as siblings. Tugger, instead of messing with every authority figure on stage, now tends to single Munkustrap out. He wants to annoy his older sibling. The Tecklenburg non-replica didn’t even bother showing anyone but Munkustrap being frustrated with Tugger’s antics. The vibe you get in these productions is that Munkustrap is the older sibling who is left in charge while Dad’s not home and he’s trying to be responsible, while Tugger, as the younger sibling, is constantly messing around and annoying him.

Compare how Munkustrap and Tugger interacted during Tugger’s number in 1998 vs. 2016. In both versions, Tugger crashes the party and Munkustrap is not amused. But, in 1998, Munkustrap stands back and waits for Tugger to basically get all that rebellious energy out of his system. If he has a few moments to run wild, he’ll calm down and act up less later on. So, Munkustrap just waits it out. As for Tugger, he never directly targets Munkustrap when he’s messing with the authority figures. He targets Jenny and Jelly, and Skimble by proxy, but he leaves Munkustrap alone. Both brothers have some silent agreement not to get in each other’s way.

In 2016, most of the moments where Tugger messes with an authority figure have Munkustrap as that authority figure. He’s more focused on annoying his brother than anyone else. He and Munkustrap are sort of bickering throughout the song, with Munkustrap being one of the cats who gets the “terrible bore” line. 1998 Munkustrap wouldn’t do this. He doesn’t get the “terrible bore” line because he’s too mature to insult Tugger like that. Instead, Misto, a more immature character does it.

These two different dynamics imply that Munkustrap and Tugger are in different age groups. 1998 Munkustrap tries to take the high road when Tugger crashes the party and Tugger has enough respect for him not avoid targeting him personally. The only exception is with the bagpipes in The Pekes and the Pollicles, and he was mostly doing that to entertain the others. He starts a dance party and then gets disappointed when it doesn’t work a second time. Munkustrap was already being annoyed by everything else that was going on as well, so Tugger’s antics don’t stand out in that regard. The vibe you get is that, though Tugger does like teasing Munkustrap a bit, they have a mutual respect for one another that they both take seriously. They’re both adults, too mature to bicker.

When Tugger targets Munkustrap with his antics and Munkustrap tries to argue back, they come across like two kids bickering. They both seem younger. This means that, in general, 2016 Munkustrap is played younger than 1998 Munkustrap. 2016 Munkustrap’s arc is about him learning to be a good leader, probably hosting the ball for the first time. He wants everything to be perfect so he can prove himself to his father. His defending the tribe and being willing to give Grizabella a chance are moments when Munkustrap begins to come of age.

So, 2016 Munkustrap’s arc is that he’s a young man, just coming of age, trying to prove himself, and eventually doing so. It’s not identical to Misto’s arc, but it’s pretty close.

And this is why 2016 Misto fails to stand out. Munkustrap’s arc makes Misto’s feel redundant, so he doesn’t have it. 2016 Misto already has Tugger supporting him from the very start and never feels like he lacks confidence. But, with Misto’s arc given to Munkustrap, nothing was put in its place, so Misto no longer has an arc. You don’t have scenes of him trying to appear mature and sophisticated around Bustopher, or his awkward attempt to help Old Deuteronomy and Munkustrap defend the tribe when Macavity’s around, or any of those other little moments that give Misto personality, because he no longer has the arc that those scenes are part of. There’d be no pay-off.

Honestly, the biggest problem with this isn’t that Munkustrap is different, but that his character was given this story and the expense of another character’s arc. Munkustrap already had a smaller arc that took a backseat to his role as storyteller and protector. He’s already the perfect leader, with his only flaw being his grudge against Grizabella. The main thing Munkustrap has to learn is the moral of the entire play. Outside of that, he’s the narrator and the straight man in the more comedic numbers.

This change also isn’t very good for Tugger. Tugger is not really a character with an arc. He doesn’t change any more than anyone else does. What changes, is how the audience, and some of the other characters, perceive him. In his own number, he’s fun, but he also comes across as a bit of a jerk. He doesn’t care what other people think of him, but that means he doesn’t seem to care about upsetting them either. His interactions with his fans sometimes demonstrate this. He just casually knocks over Tumblebrutus and Pouncival, briefly uses the latter as a chair, and then knocks them over again. Tumblebrutus and Pouncival both think Tugger is awesome, so they don’t mind, but that’s not a very nice way to treat kids who look up to you, even if they don’t mind.

But, then we get to Old Deuteronomy. Tugger appears again, interrupting Munkustrap, apparently being rude again, but then you hear what he’s actually saying. He’s also narrating about and praising Old Deuteronomy. At first, it’s kind of funny, because he’s just talking about how Old D got around, but then you get this line:

And his numerous progeny prospers and thrives And the village is proud of him in his decline

When he mentions “numerous progeny” he gestures over the crowd, ending on Munkustrap. He’s one of those numerous progeny, but he never gestures to himself. He never references himself as Old Deuteronomy’s son, but he does mention Munkustrap. This is followed by “and the village is proud of him”. After the “numerous progeny” line, it’s an awkward circle back to the main topic. But, Tugger seems to address Munkustrap as he says this. In his own way, he’s telling Munkustrap that he’s doing a good job and that everyone’s proud of him.

And then, when Munkustrap and Tugger duet, Munkustrap looks so happy about it. He didn’t expect Tugger to behave and he’s thankful for it. It’s a heartwarming moment and it shows Tugger in a new light. He was inconsiderate during his own number, but now he’s showing nothing but sincere respect for his family.

But, Old Deuteronomy is the ultimate authority figure of the tribe. Everyone loves him and he outranks Tugger. Having Tugger be so sincere here, in contrast to his attitude before, is mainly to show just how beloved Old Deuteronomy is. Even a cat who delights in pissing off authority figures has nothing but respect for him. The real stand-out moment is Mister Mistoffelees.

So, after the fight with Macavity, the tribe is in pretty bad shape. Their leader has been kidnapped and their protector is wounded. And, the kittens witnessed all of it. They saw Macavity kidnap Old Deuteronomy while they could do nothing to stop it. Macavity actually attacked Etcetera and Electra, who both tried to stand up to him. Jemima was right next to Etcetera when she was hit. Then, their protector, the strength of the tribe, someone they probably saw as invincible, gets beaten up in a fight. Munkustrap, when knocked unconscious, lands right in front of Electra, the kitten who seemed to have the closest relationship to him. Electra and Rumpleteazer try to wake him up, but they can’t. Mungojerrie can’t stand it and goes to take on Macavity himself.

So, there was a lot of violence and the kittens had front row seats. Now they’re all sitting in the dark with no idea what to do.

Then, Tugger speaks up. Right away, he has a solution. Tugger starts up a musical number and you can see the kittens getting into it like they’re at a rock concert. Not only does he have a solution to the big problem the tribe is facing, but he presents it in a way that distracts the kittens from what just happened.

And this is all without mentioning the subject matter. Unlike Old Deuteronomy, Mistoffelees doesn’t outrank Tugger and he doesn’t have the universal respect of the tribe. Tugger just thinks Misto is awesome and he’s singing an entire song about it. Misto was the cat who casually insulted him during his own number, but Tugger’s ego was unaffected. Tugger responds with absolute faith and support.

And Misto needs that faith and support. Throughout the entire ball, Misto has been trying to impress the authority figures of the tribe. Tugger, with how popular he is with the younger cats, has a lot of influence over the tribe. He’s an authority figure, in a sense. But, he was the only one in that category who Misto not only didn’t try to impress, but straight-up rejected. He doesn’t care what Tugger thinks. With everyone else in his generation either wanting Tugger or wanting to be Tugger, he stands out. Tugger respects that. And, Misto gets the approval he was looking for in the one place he didn’t bother to look. Misto finally getting that approval is what builds up his confidence so he can bring back Old Deuteronomy. And then Tugger gives him all the credit.

So, the audience is introduced to a character who seems egotistical and inconsiderate. But, he’s not. He never was. Tugger does things for the lulz sometimes. He likes to make a scene and he likes to make a mess. But, the Rum Tum Tugger is artful and knowing. He pays a lot of attention to the other cats and he cares about them. He loves his family, he looks after the kittens, and he gives support to those who need it. He’s actually not that different from Munkustrap.

But, the younger Tugger who bickers with Munkustrap comes across as more genuinely immature and it makes the more sincere moments feel out of nowhere. It’s hard for someone playing a younger Tugger to remain in character during the more serious moments. It just feels like whiplash.

Tldr: So, yeah, the point of this very long essay is that 2016 Munkustrap’s character arc, which has spread to pretty much every production of Cats done in the last five years, has the side effect of making Mistoffelees boring and Tugger obnoxious. It’s an alright arc for Munkustrap, but it sacrifices the arcs of other major characters in a way that a show with an ensemble cast can’t afford to do.

[petersasteria]

Marriage? Pass. - Peter Parker

Pairing: Financial advisor!Peter x Museum curator!Reader

Requested? Nah.

PP Masterlist

* * * *

"Good morning, Pete." You yawned before slowly sitting up. You glanced at your boyfriend as he just hummed in reply. He wasn't a morning person, but he had a demanding job that he's going to be late to if he doesn't wake up now.

You give Peter a light nudge and told him to wake up or he'll be late if he didn't start his morning routine now. Peter grumbled and slowly opened his eyes. He blinked a few times as he adjusted to the light and sat up. He turned to you and kissed your cheek.

"Good morning. Thanks for waking me up." He smiled sleepily at you with his messy bed hair all over the place. You giggled, "You're welcome. Go shower and I'll make breakfast."

"I know, I know." Peter smiled and got out of bed to go to the shower. You got out of bed too and stretched before starting your morning routine. You've been doing it for as long as you can remember. At this point, your movements are all muscle memory.

Your routine went like this: while Peter is in the shower, you fix your shared bed and charge his phone because he always forgets. Then, you take both of your empty glasses from your night stands and head to the kitchen. When you get to the kitchen, you put the glasses in the sink and prepare breakfast.

Breakfast was a little tricky because Peter didn't like having the same food everyday. Same goes for lunch and dinner. Thankfully, you already knew this and you made a schedule for every meal. Every night before you went to bed, you write down options for Peter and he would choose the next day. The schedule was written on a 6.5" chalkboard and it's placed on top of the kitchen island.

You grabbed the chalkboard and quickly went to the bathroom and knocked. You knew Peter wouldn't hear you, so you shouted.

"Pete? What do you want for breakfast? Egg and bacon sandwich with coffee, a bowl of cereal, pancakes with orange juice or waffles with hot chocolate?" You asked loudly.

"Can I have waffles, but with bacon on the side? Also, I want coffee with that. Not hot chocolate. Thanks, honey!" Peter shouted back as you quickly wrote it down on the chalkboard.

"Gotcha. Love you!"

"Love you too!"

You smiled to yourself and went back to the kitchen to start cooking Peter's request. What he has, you also have. You didn't mind that Peter mixed up the breakfast choices. In fact, his taste buds are pretty helpful in grocery shopping. If he doesn't like it, you don't buy it anymore. It's pretty simple.

After cooking breakfast and setting the table, you prepared Peter's lunch. Since it was a weekday and both of you had jobs, all you had to prepare for Peter's lunch was the dessert which was cut up fruits in a small tupperware. You cut up a few fruits, put them in a tupperware, and put them in the fridge.

Just as you finished, Peter walked in and sat down. You sat across from him and both of you began eating. Peter didn't like talking while eating breakfast and you learned that the hard way. To fill in the silence, you connected your phone to a bluetooth speaker and played classical music which always relaxed Peter.

He looked at you and gave you a close-lipped smile. After all these years of being together, you knew his smile meant 'thank you'.

After breakfast, it was Peter's turn to do his part. He washed the dishes as you quickly went to the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day. Peter knew you took your time in the bathroom that's why both of you wake up really early in the morning so both of you wouldn't be late.

After washing the dishes, Peter prepared your dessert for lunch. You didn't like fruits that much and you were allergic to a few of them, so Peter packed you chocolate pudding instead. After packing your dessert, Peter wiped the table clean, disconnected your phone from the bluetooth speaker, and went to your shared room to charge it.

After showering, you were still in a towel and you opened the bathroom door slightly for Peter to come in. Both of you brushed your teeth together and got dressed together. It was all fun and domestic and you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

When both of you are finished dressing up, you both unplug your phones and go to the kitchen to get the desserts you packed before going to the living room to get your bags and put your shoes on. After that, both of you share a kiss before getting in your respective cars and driving to work.

That was your routine everyday for seven years. You met Peter in college. You just turned twenty and your friends took you to a nice restaurant that you've always wanted to go to. Peter was there with his aunt and his aunt's boyfriend when he saw you. With all the courage he gathered, he walked to your table and asked you out. The rest was history.

"Good morning, Y/N!" Becca, your colleague, said with a playful smile on her face. You chuckled and said, "Good morning! What's got you so smiley and happy today?"

You signed in and put your things on your desk and sat down. Becca stood in front of your desk and grabbed a pen. "I hope you don't mind if I borrow your pen." Becca giggled and raised her left hand where the pen was.

You looked at the pen she was holding and did a double-take when you saw a pretty engagement ring on her finger.

"Oh my god." You said in shock. You stood up from your seat and grabbed her left hand. "Oh my god." You repeated.

"I know!" Becca shrieked. "I'm engaged!"

"You're engaged!" You squealed. "Yay! I'm so happy for you!" You pulled her in for a hug before looking at the ring again. It was so gorgeous.

"He proposed last night." Becca gushed. "I honestly still can't believe it."

"That's so amazing. I'm happy for both of you!" You exclaimed and sat down again. Becca took a seat in front of your desk and asked, "What about you and Peter? I thought you guys would get engaged first, to be honest. You've been together for so long. Meanwhile, Heath and I have been dating for only three years. You guys getting married soon?"

You knew it was an innocent question, but it was a touchy topic for you. It wasn't that you didn't want to get married. You did; you truly wanted to marry Peter and you were ready. You've been ready five years ago.

Peter was the problem. He didn't want to get married. He told you that one morning on your fourth anniversary when you both saw someone propose in public.

"Hey, Pete?"

"Hmm?"

"You ever thought of getting married?" You asked softly as both of you walked hand in hand in Central Park.

He looked at you for a second before looking ahead. He shrugged and said, "I'm not really into the whole marriage thing, y'know? Besides, why do people have to make such a big gesture to show people that they're going to be with one person for the rest of their life? Like, I'm really happy with what you and I have and I can see us lasting for a long time and we're official for four years now and we will be official for as long as we're together. So, why do we have to make things official again, but with a piece of paper this time?"

"Marriage has a lot of shit, babe. Trust me. There's a pre-nup thing and planning so many things that wouldn't matter in the end because who the fuck cares about centerpieces, anyway? It's literally a thing for each table with the table number on it. It'll just be looked at for, like, a second and then it wouldn't be paid attention to anymore. Plus, weddings are hella expensive. The national average cost of a wedding dress is about one thousand and six hundred something dollars and that includes alterations already. BUT- dress prices are based on a lot of factors and they generally range from five hundred dollars to four thousand dollars. And that's JUST the gown for the bride. What more if they add the venue, the decorations, the dresses for the bridesmaids, the tuxes for the dudes, the fuckin' flowers, and a whole lot of other shit?" Peter rambled.

You nodded. He made a few valid points, but to you, marriage is the life goal.

"Why'd you ask? You planning on marrying me?" Peter joked.

You smiled a bit and shook your head, "I just wanted to ask because someone proposed a while ago."

"Phew! I thought you were going to ask." Peter laughed. He put his arm around you and kissed the top of your head, "I'm happy with what we are now and I love you. I don't need to show other people that."

"I love you too, Pete." You said quietly.

You looked at Becca and said, "Me and Peter? Getting married? Um, no. I don't- I don't think so."

"What? Why not?" Becca furrowed her eyebrows. "Both of you have been together for so long! You guys should seal the deal now."

"Marriage isn't really Peter's thing." You explained.

"Is it your thing?" Becca asked and you sighed and nodded. "Then, tell him!"

"No way, Becca. He's just going to say the same shit he told me on our fourth anniversary." You said and fixed the papers on your desk.

"Maybe he changed his mind?" Becca suggested.

"Nope. I've known Peter for so long and one thing about him is that he never changes his mind, EVER. Once he says something, he just does it. His motto in life is literally 'practice what you preach'. Hence, not changing his mind." You let out an exasperated sigh.

"Look, Becca, I appreciate your concern and all, but it's not happening." You smiled sadly. "Don't worry about me and Peter, okay? Just worry about planning your wedding because that'll take up majority of your time."

For the rest of the day, you couldn't focus on curating at all. In fact, you nearly messed up some words. In truth, you haven't thought about marriage since your fourth anniversary and now that Becca's mentioned it, you couldn't get it out of your head.

It wasn't wise to contact Peter during his work hours because he dealt with clients who didn't know what to do with their money and stuff. He also didn't want to be bothered while he was at work. Besides, it gave you both something to talk about at dinner.

When you got home, you did your night routine. You went to your room and got dressed in comfortable clothing. Knowing Peter was on his way home, you took out your phone and called him.

"Hey, honey." Peter answered. "I'm glad you called! Listen, don't cook anything. Relax and watch tv or something. I bought dinner for us from the restaurant where we met."

"What? That's so out of budget, Peter. We only eat there once a year and that's for our anniversary." You said in worry.

"Yeah, I know, but we really shouldn't worry about spending. I'm literally a financial advisor." Peter chuckled. "Also, I just got a raise."

"Wow!" You smiled. "Tell me all about it when you get home, alright? I don't want you getting in a car accident or something."

"Will do. See ya later!" Peter hang up. You looked down at your phone and sighed. You took Peter's advice and relaxed while waiting for him. You drew yourself a bath and got in. About thirty minutes later, you heard the front door open and Peter shouted, "I'm home! I brought food!"

You got out of the bath and drained the water in the tub. You dried yourself and put on your bathrobe before meeting Peter in the kitchen. He was setting the table and he smiled at you, "Hey beautiful."

"Hey handsome." You chuckled. "Thanks for buying dinner. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome! It's no problem, really. It's a thank you for dealing with my shit and for cooking for me all the time. God knows I can't cook, so hopefully surprising you with food from the restaurant where we met is enough to make you happy." Peter said and walked up to you to pull you in for a hug.

You hugged back, "I do those things because I love you, Pete."

"I love you more." He kissed your forehead and urged you to sit down. Both of you sat down and Peter started talking about his raise and his client who didn't know what an insurance was. Everything was going swell, but you couldn't get the marriage thing off your mind.

"Becca's getting married." You blurted out. Peter stopped talking and looked at you. "She, uh, Heath asked her last night and she said yes."

Peter nodded and smiled, "Good for her! They've been together for so long now."

"Do you think we'd get married too?" You asked him.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Do you think we'd get married too?" You repeated. "We've been together for seven years now and I think it's time for us to get married and start a family. We're not getting any younger, Pete. We're 27 years old for fuck's sake."

"Y/N, you know where I stand in marriage, right?" Peter said. "I'm not into that kind of shit. I thought we were on the same page?"

"No and I'm sorry!" You sighed. "I want to get married and I want to get married to you. Otherwise, I won't get married at all. I want us to move out of this apartment and buy a house where our kids can run around and play."

"Then let's start a family!" Peter exclaimed.

"I want to do it right, Peter!" You argued. "I want us to get married first and then have as many kids as you fucking want. But first, I want to walk down the aisle and say my vows to you. I want that, Peter."

Peter looked at you and sighed, "Then maybe I'm not the guy that you're looking for. We obviously want different things and I can't give you what you want."

"Are you breaking up with me?" You asked in shock.

Peter nodded, "Yeah, I am. I can't be a husband and you deserve someone who can be. I'm sorry." With that, he stood up from his seat and went to your shared room to pack his things in a duffel bag. You stayed in the dining table with your head in your hands. You really didn't expect him to break up with you.

Peter walked out of your shared room and approached you. You looked at him and he bent down a bit to kiss you one last time before he left.

"I'm sorry things had to end this way." He mumbled. "I love you and I'll always love you for as long as I'll live. But I also want you to be happy and if getting married makes you happy, I'm willing to let you go just for that to happen."

"But I want to get married to YOU." You cried.

"In another life, I want to get married and I want to get married to you. But this is the life we have, okay? I'm still going to be here for you. So if you need me, I'll be staying at May's, alright?" He said sadly and kissed your forehead before leaving.

It had been three months since your split with Peter and everything has been going downhill for you. Becca was so into wedding planning and she kept asking you for help. As if things were not worse for you, your younger sister recently got engaged too. Some of your Facebook friends were either on their honeymoon, having their first baby, or walking down the aisle already. It frustrated you BIG TIME.

To top it all off, your mom (who wasn't in the picture since forever) came back because she heard that your little sister was getting married and your dad had a heart attack. Thankfully, he was okay. He's just resting now.

You were at your childhood home and you were having a stressful time. You were taking care of your dad and no one was helping you around. Your little sister was busy planning her wedding and her husband-to-be was a slacker and he doesn't clean up after himself at all. Your mom was staying in the guest room and she was so demanding and she was such a picky eater and she nagged to you about how you should settle down now. You were so stressed and you were on the verge of a breakdown and all of a sudden, the A/C stopped working.

That set you off.

You locked yourself in your old room and just cried. You cried until you fell asleep. When you woke up, it was already the next day and you heard commotion downstairs. You walked to where the noise was coming from and it was coming from the living room; where the A/C was broken.

You peeked in and you were surprised to see Peter fixing the A/C. Your mom saw you and said, "Y/N! Good morning, sweetie. This is Peter. He fixed the A/C and guess what? He's single! Maybe-"

"Mom, Y/N knows who he is." Your sister rolled her eyes.

Peter held on to the ladder and looked at you. He saw your puffy eyes that were still slightly red and he saw bags under your eyes. He also knew that you were really tired.

"Really? How do they know each other?" Your mom gushed.

"They dated for 7 years. Let's just leave them alone. They need to talk, anyway." Your little sister said and gave you a small smile. She and your mom left the living room and Peter got down the ladder and walked to you.

"I'm, uh, sorry for coming here. You probably didn't want to see me, but Y/S/N gave me a call about the A/C. She asked if I could fix it because I was into, and I quote, 'machines or whatever'. So I came by and I really didn't expect you to be here." Peter said, but you just stared at him.

He cleared his throat, "Also, all the dishes were just left in the sink. I washed them all, though. I hope it's less work for you. The A/C's fixed now, by the way. If it breaks again, I suggest you just buy a new one. There's this brand that-"

You cut him off by giving him a big hug and you just cried. You were so tired and Peter hugged back tightly and said, "You're alright. You'll be fine."

"I missed you." You cried. "I missed you being by my side and the apartment feel so empty now that you're gone. I just want you back. Life was super easy with you in it."

"But-"

You pulled away and shook your head, "I don't care anymore. If you don't want to get married, I respect that. Let's just be partners for life, okay? I'll be fine with that just as long as I have you in my life; that's good enough for me."

"Okay." Peter nodded and smiled.

"Okay?" You asked.

"Okay." He chuckled lightly. "I love you."

"I love you too." You smiled and wiped your tears.

Peter's job was tiring. A few weeks after he had gotten back together with you, he was getting busier and busier. Today, his client asked him if they still had savings from when they got married. Peter was looking through the said client's files as the client kept talking.

"Why'd you get married?" Peter asked nonchalantly.

"If I'm being honest, I didn't want to get married." The client chuckled. "But life is funny. I met someone and for some reason, everything changed. Sure, we could've stayed as just long time partners, but being married takes it to a whole 'nother level, y'know?"

"In marriage, couples share things and they start a new chapter in their lives. Whereas if you're just living with your partner in an apartment, that's just it. It's hard to explain. It's similar to long time partners, but at the same time it's not." The client shrugged.

It was then and there that Peter understood marriage. He looked at the client and said, "I'll call you when I find your files, okay? I just remembered that I have to do something."

Peter got out of his seat and told the receptionist that was taking an early lunch break. He walked to his car and quickly unlocked the door and drove to the art museum where you worked.

When he got there, he parked his car and locked the door before running inside. He looked around and saw you curating a tour for grade school kids. He didn't want to bother you at work, but this was really urgent. So, he took a deep breath and walked right up to you.

"Y/N!" Peter said. You looked at him in shock. You turned to the kids and smiled, "Feel free to look at the painting, but don't touch anything."

You turned back to Peter and asked, "What are you doing here?"

"I change my mind." Peter blurted out.

"What're you talking about?" You were confused.

"The whole marriage thing. I change my mind." He said. "Yes, marriage has a lot of shit, but I'll have you for the rest of my life and that's so rewarding. We can get married, buy a house, start a family, you name it! We've been together for 7 years- I'm not counting the three-month break up because I know that I still loved you during that time. I love you more than anything in the world and I want to show you that I love you for the rest of my life. So-"

He knelt down and your eyes widened.

"Oh my god. What're you doing?" You whispered.

"I think I'm proposing." Peter said quietly and he grabbed your hands. "Y/N, will you marry me? I know I don't have a ring right now, but that can wait. I-"

"Yes." You tear up. "Yes, I will marry you!"

Peter smiled and stood up to kiss you. Everyone around you clapped and you both pulled away. You rested your forehead on his and he said, "I have to go now. I have to get back to work and I have to buy you a ring."

"I love you, Peter."

"I love you, Y/N."

* * * *

im back lmao sorry if it's shit

𝐏𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @blueleatherbag​ @harryismysunflower​​ @buckys-little-hoe​​ @sandystoriess​ @heeeyitskay​​ @slytherin-chaser​​ @quaksonhehe​​ @yaya4302​​ @lil-mellow-bunbun​​ @starlight-starks​​ @swiftmind​​ @alexx-stancati​​ @sovereignparker​​ @nerdyandproudofitsstuff​​ @pearce14​​ @xfirstfemale-marauderx​​ @cherthegoddess​​ @chewymoustachio​​ @cocoamoonmalfoy​​ @parkerlovebot​​ @supred12​​

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓:  @marvelousell​​​​ @justasmisunderstoodasloki​​​​ @rubberducky-jrr​​​ @allyz​ @osterfieldnholland​​​​ @miraclesoflove​​​ @god-knows-what-am-i-doing​​ @perspectiveparker​​ @hollands-weasley​​ @itstaskeen​​  @call-me-baby-gir1​​ @the-panwitch​​ @iamaunicorn4704​​ @chloecreatesfictions​​ @holland-styles​​ @halfblood-princess-505​​ @spidey-reids-2003​​ @herbatkazmiloscia @whatthefuckimbisexual​​ @justanothermarvelmaniac​​ @unsaidholland​​ @musicalkeys​​ @lost-in-the-stars03​​ @hufflepuffprincess24​​ @hollanddolanfangirl​​ @parkerpeter24​​ @bellelittleoff​​ @agentnataliahofferson​​ @aqiise​

[sturchling]

A new girl shows up and takes Lila's spot but instead of lying she's actually does them but she's two face and tries Lila worse than Lila treats Marinette and Lila looses her followers whenever she tries the same tactics and up like Nettie(who switched classes) Lila for the first time is genuinely miserable like Mari for real ( will give u an idea 4 a sequel after this)

Here you go! Sorry it took longer than I would have like, but I had sudden job interview. Now that it is over, I had some time to write! :)

Hope you like it!

Lila was happy with how things were going in her life right now. The class was completely under her spell. They believed anything that she says and look at her like she hung the moon. She had succeeded in making that pathetic Marinette miserable. Marinette was so miserable she even switched classes. Sure, Adrien knows she is a liar. But Adrien can’t say anything, since Mr. Agreste has forbidden it. Yeah, life was going well for Lila. That was, until, Sadie arrived

 ----------------

It had been a normal weekend for Lila, she had been coming up with new stories to tell the class on Monday. She was sure these new stories would keep the class singing her praises for a while. As she walked towards class, she heard the class already chatting excitedly. It is common knowledge that Lila doesn’t like attention not being on her. So, she got ready to tell another story, to get the focus back on her where it belonged. Not like the class was talking about anything important, probably just talking about whatever stupid thing they had done that weekend. But just as Lila entered the classroom, a new lie on her tongue, when she noticed someone new.

  ----------------

The class was surrounding a girl that Lila didn’t recognize, and this girl was sitting in Lila’s seat. This girl had long black hair that reached to the base of her spine, and blue eyes. She was wearing a yellow floral sundress, with a black cardigan and black flats. Lila was furious seeing this strange girl sitting in her seat. Lila had worked hard to manipulate her way into that seat by Adrien, and she wasn’t just going to let it go. She sauntered up to the group, “Well, hello. Are you new?” Alya turned, now realizing that her bestie had arrived, “Oh, Lila! Good morning. This is Sadie, she just transferred here from America. Her dad is a marine and has been stationed to guard the American embassy here in Paris. She was just telling us about some of her adventures. Can you believe it, it sounds like you two have been running in the same circles!” That confused Lila, what did Alya mean by that? “What do you mean Alya?” “Well, Sadie was saying how she has also worked for several go-green organizations, and has also helped out a bunch of celebrities. She also knows a bunch of Hollywood actors, from when her dad was stationed in San Diego. She even has tinnitus like you, she and her dad were visiting a friend at an air force base and she got lost. She wandered to close to a plane and nobody noticed her so her hearing was damaged. That is why she is sitting up front too. You guys can be desk mates!” Lila paled at that. She had worked so hard to get a seat next to Adrien. “But Alya, what about Adrien? Where will he sit?” “Don’t worry Lila, Adrien was fine with the seat change since another student needed to sit up front. He will sit where Marinette used to, near Nathaniel.” Lila was fuming, but she couldn’t exactly do anything about it without looking bad. So, she just smiled and played along, sitting down in Adrien’s old spot.

  ----------------

The rest of the morning hadn’t gone any better for Lila. She had tried several times to get the attention back on her, but no matter what she did, the class only wanted to talk to and about Sadie. It was infuriating. Not even Lila’s new stories were enough to capture the class’ attention. Anytime Lila mentioned something she had done, Sadie had done it too, but bigger and better. Worse yet, is that Sadie appeared to be telling the truth. The go-green charities that she claimed to help start, all had official websites and awards and Sadie was always listed on those websites as a founding member. There were even videos of her at some of the award ceremonies. Sadie also had pictures with every single celebrity that Lila had also claimed to know.  And not just one picture, like they had just happened to meet by chance, but several pictures. Some looked like they had even been taken at parties. And when Mrs. Bustier had finally arrived, Sadie had an actual doctor’s note for the tinnitus. The little brat had been telling the truth all morning.

  ----------------

Lila hadn’t been this angry since Marinette had challenged her. This meant that Lila would have to go to war again. This Sadie girl seemed just like Marinette. Kind and sickeningly sweet. Lila thought this meant that Sadie would be just as easy to destroy, but she was very wrong. The next day, Lila cornered Sadie in the bathroom and threatened her. “I don’t like sharing the spotlight newbie. So, you are going to stop trying to hog all the attention. I worked hard to become the queen in this class, so you can either bow down or get out of the way. I already eliminated that Marinette girl and I can do the same to you too. The choice is yours, you can either give me back the attention I deserve or I can destroy you.” Sadie just smiled at Lila, but in a way that felt very threatening. “No, here is what is going to happen. Alya told me all about your stories and it is clear that you are lying. I am the real deal. The rest of the class already thinks I am a saint. You may have been the queen, but your reign is over. I am in charge now. If you tell the class anything about this conversation, or try and ‘destroy’ me I can promise you the only one that will be destroyed is you. I may seem nice, but I am not some push over, and I will not be dictated to by some liar who is so desperate for a cool life that she had to make one up. As far as I am concerned, we are enemies. I am going to make your life hell-” Sadie seemed to want to say more, but just then Rose poked her head into the bathroom and told them it was almost time for class. Sadie quickly wiped the glare from her face and smiled at Rose. “Thanks Rose, I’m coming. See you in a minute Lila.” With that Sadie walked out of the bathroom, chatting happily with Rose. Lila was shocked. She had thought that Sadie was a goodie-two-shoes, she hadn’t expected her to be so cold and hostile. If Sadie wanted to be enemies, then Lila was willing to play that game.

  ----------------

Despite Lila’s best efforts, nothing was working. Sadie had quickly become the class darling and everybody loved her, much to Lila’s annoyance. And what was worse was that Sadie had started tormenting Lila. Lila had never gone so far as to physically attack Marinette herself, but Sadie had no problem attacking Lila every time the two were alone together. So far, Sadie had tripped her close to a dozen times, trapped her in two closets, and had even spilled food all over her. But the class never saw any of this happen. Sadie was really good at finding just the right moment to strike. Lila had tried talking to the class several times, but they never believed her. “Oh Lila, Sadie wouldn’t do that.” “It must have been someone else.” “Maybe you just got confused.” Lila was at the end of her rope.

  ----------------

What was worse was anytime that Lila tried to talk to the class, Sadie started to poison the class against her. It started small, Sadie started asking the class, “How could Lila say I would do all those mean things? Did I do something wrong?” The class fell all over themselves to tell Sadie she hadn’t done anything. Then the class began to wonder why Lila was so insistent it was Sadie. When Lila didn’t stop trying to convince the class, Sadie continued her assault, both physically and socially. She was playing the long game with turning the class against Lila. It was so gradual it was hardly noticeable.

  ----------------

Eventually, when Lila still hadn’t gotten the message, Sadie pulled out the big guns. First, she started fulfilling the promises that Lila had made. She started introducing the class to celebrities in the field they each wanted to go into. She introduced Alya to people at the New York Times, Nathaniel to the editors at Marvel, and even helped Kitty Section get a meeting with some big-time music producer in LA. Then she started wondering aloud to the class why Lila hadn’t already done all this for them. When the grumblings in the class continued to grow, Sadie went for the killing blow. She accused Lila of attacking her. “Lila was so mad. She wanted to be the one to introduce you to all these people. She told me that if I keep doing this then she will make my life hell!” Sadie even threw in some realistic fake tears, not fake sobs like how Lila used to do. Now the whole class had turned against Lila.

  ----------------

Lila’s life had become miserable. She was the class outcast, the only time someone talked to her was to make rude comments or tell her off about ‘how she is treating Sadie’. Thankfully, her lies hadn’t been exposed yet, somehow. She was worried though. Sadie kept getting closer to exposing her with each day. In an attempt to stop that from happening, Lila stopped trying to go after Sadie. Sadie stopped going further with her stories about Lila, but she was still making Lila miserable. She kept tripping her and shoving her and now the rest of the class had joined in. Lila’s stuff was routinely destroyed to the point that Lila didn’t even bring anything she didn’t need to class anymore. Right now, Lila was on another ‘trip with her mother’ and skipping school. She had tried switching classes like that loser Marinette had, but her request was denied. All the other classes were full at the moment. She also tried to convince her mom to let her change schools entirely, but her mother didn’t want her to switch schools in the middle of the year. Lila was stuck and had lost all her power. She was no longer the queen of the class, but was treated more like a prisoner. Sadie had won the war.

[thirstyforred]

ok so, it's not like a fully fleshed idea, there's no ending, and the amount of words i would like to put into it is just too much atm, bc like at least over 10k sounds sweet, but anyway here's an idea for one of the squares in my witcher bingo - mind-reading spell/curse

it's the role swap au - i could just do "that's so sad, Hubert play Gwent/tavern music", but i think there's actually something to this idea that could be interesting with how some parts of the canon are being twisted and fit back together

Alvin is a vampire, lets just go with katakan, because why not

i might lean a bit into Book of Beautiful Horrors fanon (which i just realized inspired my other post about higher vamps, but for some reason, i completely forgot about it, until last week when i was looking again for this book) and say that katakans are great hunters, capable of tracking they prey just by the smell, but also having more special connection to the blood. like drinking of certain beings gives them certain effects - like how Gael even canonically drinks from drunk folks so he can actually get completely sloshed

but also if i combine it with how Erland never specified what actually are vampires eating since blood makes them just tipsy and isn't the main source of nutrients, let's say that vampires are lowkey like dragons - that they are actually consuming magic. so they would live nearby sources of power or like power nexuses, or like the Unseen Elder in B&W not far from the place where Ard Gaeth opened, which likely would still be pretty charged

which leads me to another point, if they're consuming magic, then possibly can they also use magic - and there are the different way this could be spun, for example, if let's say alp drinks bruxa's blood, then they can talk with birds for few nights, or like combine their own powers with the one they get from blood, and like give birds ability to dream, and then invade those dreams and shape them, like idk there could be some fun combinations here

so considering all of this stuff - Alvin is a katakan who drinks from sorcerers and that makes him so op

and he's at a point where it's not just about feeding himself in the most pleasurable way, by eating beings charged with magic, or just about blood addiction, no, it's about power

and because it's me writing about Alvin, whether i make a big point out of it or not, there's always a shadow behind him of that goth mfs red riders who influenced the way he understands the world - Nam and Nithral - so without deep explanations lets just say, that Alvin is a relatively young vampire, who was basically raised up by Aen Elle Wild Hunt deserter Namrevlis, like seriously who cares, it was always crack and canon bending bs

but the thing is, Nam and her blood smell and taste pretty uniquely like it's not a tone, but still, there's that drop of Hen Ichaer, of Lara's Gene in Red Riders, and i will take this fanon with me to the grave, and that, that taste of the Spiral is what Alvin is really looking for

which he ofc can't find because regular mages while still powerful, their blood making him almost a mage himself, is just nothing in comparison

and there's Hubert - he's a surgeon in Novigrad, just regular boring human, let's fuck with the timeline say in his 20s, but he's also the Source. He's the carrier of Lara's Gene. He doesn't want this sort of legacy, wears tones of dimeritium amulets and whatnot to tame his wild, never trained magic talents, but still, he's plagued by horrifying dreams of the White Frost

i guess would make sense if that sort of thing was more manageable when he was a kid and teen, but got worse with time, and also there are Witch Hunters all over Novigrad, so Hubert has to find some way or maybe mentor, do something about it

so he asks some people he trusts about ideas, like Gael and Queen of the Night, and finally, Queen is like yeah i know of someone, they help hiding mages in Wizima, but also they're very dangerous, and Hubert is like who is it? i need to know! and she's like it's the leader of Salamandra

yes im keeping Alvin being a drug lord, i find it the funniest part of his whole fucking deal

but anyway Hubert travels to Wizima and somehow get's introduced to Alvin, and he just gets a whiff of Hubert and he starts salivating

but Alvin is not an idiot, he knows if he will eat a guy in one sitting it won't sate him for long, and help him really peer through that veil between the world or whatever - he's a fantasy medieval business major, he's gonna put a nice collar on that neck

(i still remember it was supposed to be about mindreading, the idea was just more cohesive and compressed in my mind lol)

but Hubert explains his whole deal and problem, and Alvin is like oh ok cool, then we can have here like a mutual agreement - because he was somewhat educated on the Spiral by Nam, he gets and understands the things Hubert is seeing in his visions, he just can't hold them for too long - while for Hubert everything is just chaotic and a bit scary, and makes him feel lost

but thankfully all higher vamps (but true ones lol) have telepathic abilities, which means that Alvin can just look into Hubert's mind, amplify it by drinking his blood, if they meditated together, created like a mental bond between their minds, they could literally unravel the Spiral together

like all the crazy stuff i have ever written about the Spiral but more

oh and there's like some gay stuff happening ofc

[thorne93]

History Repeats (Part 6)

Prompt: Life’s hard, right? Well throw in a not so great job, a broken heart, and chasing a pipe dream in LA. But could someone come along to make all the bad shit disappear? Or is he just another heartbreak waiting around the bend?

Warnings: language, drug addiction, alcohol addiction, angst/heartbreak, adult themes (??)

Word Count: 2551

Note: Aesthetic made by @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo because she’s absolutely amazing Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​ . Brainstorming from @carryonmyswansong

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Upon waking, you were highly confused. This wasn’t your bedroom. Where were--Oh god. Oh god. You fell asleep here. Shit. 

You slowly raised your head, hoping the headache was gone, and thankfully it was. With one eye open, you peeked around the room, looking for any sign of Hayden. At first, you found none, until your eyes spotted a note scribbled on the nightstand between the two beds. 

“Hope you slept well. I tried not to wake you as a I got ready. Hope you’re feeling better. I had to go to work, sorry for leaving. I’ll see you tonight, I hope. Have a good day.”

You instantly smiled at the note. Hayden was a really sweet friend. But you were sad he was working now. It would’ve been nice to apologize for last night and for crashing there. You didn’t have his number, but you did have a pen and pad. You quickly grabbed it and scratched out a response to his note, and left it on the nightstand. With that, you grabbed your purse, jacket, and escaped out of the room, to head home and shower.

Thankfully, you had enough time to shower, get a little bit done around the house, and then get ready for work. 

The shift was ten times easier than it was the day before and Hayden had stopped at your station around dinner time.

“Hey, you want me to order room service for when you get off?” he asked with a smile.

“Yes, please, I’m starving. I need food and to apologize for last night, I am so sorry I just imposed myself on you. I just showed up with no warning, crying and carrying on, and then I fall asleep in your room and--”

Hayden had started to laugh, making you stop. He held up a hand.

“What’s so funny?” you demanded, sounding upset. Here you were apologizing for being a jackass and he was laughing.

“I think you’re new to this whole friends business, Y/N. We don’t apologize when we need each other. We don’t say sorry for drunk three am phone calls, we don't say sorry for turning into a sobbing mess because our exes are asses--”

“Thanks,” you snorted.

His face softened as he looked at you. “Hey, I’m not saying you were a problem. Quite the opposite. Y/N, you’re always welcome there, okay? Always. The company is nice and I’ll always be here if you need me.”

“Thanks, Hayden, I appreciate that,” you said. “My other friends…” you said, letting the idea trail off there.

“I know,” he assured with a nod, closing his eyes. “I know you’re not used to someone being a decent friend, but that’s all changed now that you have me.” He beamed a grin at you and you couldn’t help the one that lit up your face. 

 “I’m glad to hear that,” you said.

“Well I’ll see you when you get off, hmm?” he asked and you nodded. 

“Yep, I’ll be up there as soon as I’m off.”

“Cool. See you soon.” He smiled and waved as he walked away, as he always did, going to the elevator. You couldn’t help the giant grin on your face as you watched him walk away, so thrilled to have him in your life. He really made all of your days so much better.

-----------------

After work, you practically raced up to his room, ready to eat and watch TV with him. The two of you caught up a little bit, asking about work, you asked about Briar Rose. You’d come to learn you could ask how Briar was or what she was up to, but Rachel and the whole separation was still a sore subject, so you kept it Briar-centric. 

Once you were done eating, you played some video games to blow off some more steam. But you two had gotten so caught up in laughing, playing, and egging each other on, you didn’t realize how late it had gotten until you glanced at your phone. 

“Oh my god! You need to go to bed! It’s 3:08! I need to go home.” 

“It’s okay, I don’t shoot tomorrow, I can stay up later.”

“Hey, I’m off too,” you informed with a smile as you nudged his shoulder with yours. 

“Which means...rematch!” he said, hitting the button to start another match on the game you were playing.

“You’re just asking to get your ass whooped,” you teased. 

You ended up playing another hour, then the two of you crawled onto each bed, and started to watch TV, neither of you noticing how heavy your eyelids were getting until you were a few episodes into a show on Netflix. The two of you ended up slipping into a nice sleep.

------------------------

The next day, when you woke up, you realized you’d done it again, but this time, Hayden was still asleep on his bed. You figured you’d get out of his hair so you got up, and as you were about to get out of the bed, Hayden woke up.

“Where’re you going?” he asked groggily, his head still in the pillow.

“Well...I should go home,” you answered, even though you really didn’t want to leave but you wanted to be polite and let him have his space. 

“Oh,” he said as he rolled over and rubbed his face and ruffled his blonde locks, making you feel things no one should feel for a best friend. “I thought we could hang out, maybe go out and get lunch but…” 

“That sounds nice,” you said. “Are you sure you don’t want me to get out of your hair?”

“I’m sure,” he said, looking up at the ceiling. “Don’t make me beg,” he followed up.

You laughed before plopping back down on the bed. “Alright, fine.”

“No, no, you clearly want to leave. I don’t wanna twist your arm and--”

You picked up a pillow and smacked him with it on the stomach, causing him to laugh.

“Shut up, you drama queen,” you teased.

“Alright, alright. So where do you wanna go?”

“Well actually, I need to run errands if that’s cool. Groceries and some other stuff. Would you wanna come with me?”

“Sure. I’d love to.”

“You’re not worried about…” you started to ask, not wanting to offend him.

“You mean the media? Yeah, I try to stay out of their way, but I’m not going to hole up forever, I do have to go out and do things, eventually,” he reminded with a snort. 

“I just don’t...I don’t want them to print anything bad about you or whatever,” you said. “You’re a good man.”

“If it’s one thing I’ve learned,” he said, sitting up, “it’s that they’re gonna print whatever the hell I want. I could never leave my home or be out everyday, and I’m sure a story would crop up at some point that’s entirely false,” he assured, talking with his hands. 

“Sounds like a fun life,” you muttered, putting your shoes on.

“And you’re gonna have it too when you become a singer.”

You laughed. “Hardly. I doubt anyone is going to care if what my super secret lyrics mean, or where I’m vacationing to, or what gym I went to,” you noted. 

“Maybe not right now, but that first album drops, and you’d be surprised how fast they’ll pick you up,” he noted now that he was completely sat up.

“I’m not so sure I’d want that,” you noted, starting to think.

Hayden was swinging his legs out from under the covers now, getting to his feet, stretching with a yawn. “Well, you may want to figure that out before you get into the music industry.” 

You nodded. “Yeah,” you murmured. 

“I’m gonna jump in the shower, and we’ll head out, okay?”

“Alright.” 

At that, you checked your phone to make sure it was fully charged, checked for calls or texts while he grabbed clothing for the shower. Nothing from Jason, which made you feel relieved and upset. Clearly he didn’t care about the exchange that had happened, and you were just fine with that. You were ready to forget him and just move on. 

As you were still going through your phone, your eyes wandered from the screen to Hayden in the bathroom, where he pulled off his t-shirt, standing in nothing but his pajama pants, making him look...well..he looked downright irresistible. He had a great physique with muscles that were defined as he tossed his shirt on the sink counter, making your mouth go dry as you inadvertently stared at him.

His eyes came up to you in that moment, and your cheeks drained of color before they flashed bright red as your heart hammered in your chest. He gave you a fond smile before closing the door and you tore your eyes away from the door.

Jesus christ, he just caught you staring at him getting undressed. Way to go, Y/N, couldn’t be much more obvious, could you?

You tried busying yourself while he showered, hoping the feeling of being mortified would ebb away. It had completely melted away, until Hayden opened the door, looking hotter than ever in dark-ish blue jeans, and a gray sweater, the color complimenting his tone nicely. 

“Hey,” he greeted. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” you murmured as you got up, grabbed your purse, and the two of you made your way downstairs to your car. As soon as you started it, the radio came on to a song you hated. 

“Ugh, I can’t stand this song,” you scoffed as you changed it. 

“You don’t like that song either?” he asked.

“No, the chorus is annoying as fuck, and the beat is weird.”

“I thought it was just me,” he noted before looking out the window, and for some reason, a warm feeling washed over you. “So what’s the plan for today?”

“We need to go to Lowes, I have to get a new doorknob for the bathroom. I also need some stain, so I can redo my dining room table. Then I need some paint to touch up the baseboards.”

“Lots of housework,” he commented.

You shrugged. 

“It just needs upkeep, you know. All houses do. I just need to get it all done before it gets too far in disrepair.”

“I could help, if you needed it. I’m sure you’re more than capable, but it might be faster with two instead of one.”

“Yeah? You know how to do that?” you inquired.

“I built the house on my farm,” he informed. 

“No way,” you said, glancing at him as you smiled. “That’s really cool. I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah. I really enjoyed it. I love working with my hands,” he said and images flickered in your head that you tried to stop. 

“Awesome. Well, yeah, I mean, if you have time, that would be cool if you came over and helped. I’m sure I could use it.”

“Cool. Just let me know when,” he said. 

“Sure thing.”

The two of you got to the hardware store and you started grabbing what you needed, with Hayden happily by your side, pointing out things.

“I’d love to have this tool set one day,” he said.

“Oh yeah?” you asked as you pushed the cart.

He went on to explain why it had so many tools he enjoyed and would need, what he would use each one for. You revered his passion for tools and work. Jason wouldn’t be caught dead with a hammer in his hand, and that had always bothered you deep down. To you, a man was handy, able to fix at least tiny things around his own home.

Hayden would also stop and say which colors he loved at the paint section, telling you exactly which colors he would put where on his house. 

“But you built your house,” you commented. “Didn’t you pick out the paint?” 

He shrugged. “Some. Others I just want to see a change in. The deck could be a nice brown, instead of the dark gray it is now. It’s too dreary.”

“I could see that.”

“And a fresh coat in the kitchen wouldn’t hurt,” he noted. “What about you? If you could recolor your entire house, what would you do?”

“Mmm...Blue for the bedroom, light gray for the bathrooms, creme for the kitchen with royal blue accents, and then...Maybe something warmer for the living room.”

“I like it. It sounds nice,” he commented, nodding his approval of your choices.

After that, the two of you needed to go to the grocery store to restock your fridge and pantry goods.

“Ah, a home cooked meal,” he hummed. “I haven’t had one in forever,” he noted as you put two steaks in the cart.

“You want me to make us lunch instead of going out?”

He frowned and smiled at the same time. “No, that's okay. I’m not going to make you slave over a stove on your day off.”

“Who said I’d be slaving? Maybe I like cooking,” you said, giving him a playful glare.

“Okay, fair enough. I’ll leave it up to you. I’m fine either way. At your house or at a restaurant, whatever you’re good with,” he said. 

“We’ll do at home,” you noted. And with that, your grocery list went from single servings to a party of two. You went back and got more of some things or opted for a bit more hardy food since it would be two adults eating, instead of just your little personal servings. 

Meanwhile, he picked up things and made jokes, like a child. But it was utterly adorable and the two of you were laughing all over the store, being complete fools. 

By the end of the errand running, you were now home, the first time Hayden had ever been there. 

“Wow, it’s so...you,” he noted, looking all around.

You laughed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That your house...it reflects a lot of you, and I like that.”

A blush heated your cheeks as you finished putting things away then started on the potatoes and steaks, with Hayden jumping in immediately to help you. He made the marinade while you worked on getting the potatoes cut and seasoned, ready for the oven. 

You put on music and he immediately started humming along, making you smile at him as the two of you continued your work. Without realizing it, you started to sing along and he stopped working altogether. 

“You sound amazing,” he breathed as he watched you dance and work around the kitchen.

Freezing in place, you hadn’t realized you were singing. “Oh...well thank you,” you said. “I should hope I sound good, if I’m going to try this professionally.”

“I have no doubt in my mind that you’ll go far,” he said.

“Thanks,” you beamed.

The two of you ended up with a wonderful meal which you ate in front of the TV, binging a season of a show you both wanted to catch up on, until you needed to take him back to the hotel for him to go to bed. He thanked you for the food and a fun day before hugging you tight.

But this time, you didn’t want to let go…

~~~~~~~~~~

Forever Tag:

@essie1876​

@magpiegirl80​

@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked​

@marvel-imagines-yes-please​

@missinstantgratification​

@thejemersoninferno​

@rda1989​

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@beiroviski​

Hayden Christensen:

@coldlilheart​

@haydens-moles​

History Repeats:

@multifandomblog315​

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | The Breakfast Club (Hughes, 1985)

This review contains spoilers.

The fact is I've been feeling a bit under the weather over the last few days. I needed something comforting, unchallenging, whose rhythms I knew like the back of my hand so I could de-stress, expand in my couch and feel my way through the movie without having to think about it too hard. Seeing The Breakfast Club pop up on Netflix, I decided to give it another viewing, although it's probably a strange choice given my history with the movie. For one, I didn't grow up in the '80s. I was born in 1991 and was of high school age in the 2000s, although I guess nostalgia works in twenty-year circles and this movie has lingered in the public imagination as a definitive portrayal of high school life. (I first became aware of the movie when my middle school art teacher jokingly threatened the class with a weekend detention. "You ever seen The Breakfast Club?" He thankfully didn't follow through.)

But it's also a movie I've found a bit frustrating, with passages of greatness undermined by its adherence to commercial demands. I was perhaps hoping to wrestle again with its contradictions, even though I've revisited it a number of times and come away feeling the same, and in my weakened state I was unlikely to put up much of a fight. (I don't really follow sports, so I'll let you pick out your own analogy. Mike Tyson versus Evander Holyfield's ear? Sure, let's go with that. I'll play the ear.) I will concede that as I was recuperating, I found it easier to be won over by the musical interludes. These are pretty obvious commercial concessions, but at the same time, I think it captures that uniquely energizing feeling of having a song stuck in your head and feeling like it's running through you, like you're a character in a movie. (You might even say it evokes the feeling of being the "dude", like the track "I'm The Dude", featured in the scene where Emilio Estevez gets high, does a bunch of cartwheels and shatters a few windows.) And I suppose I've grown fonder of Wang Chung since my last viewing, thanks to spending more time with their soundtrack for To Live and Die in L.A. I suppose these gestures blend more easily into the DNA of John Hughes' next film, Ferris Bueller's Day Off (which is another reliable comfort watch), but I've warmed up to them here. (After having recently become obsessed with the suspenders dancing musical number from RRR, I can't help but notice how limited these characters' dance moves are, but they're also, y'know, teenagers, so I suppose I will let it slide.)

And I think the movie does capture the anxieties and charged emotions of being a teenager, even if its style can sometimes clash with the naturalism of the writing and the performances. I think most of us have known characters like this and perhaps see a bit of us in one or more of them. (Which likely explains its potency as comfort food, doubly familiar not just through cultural osmosis but also real world experience.) As a high schooler, I was somewhere between Anthony Michael Hall and Ally Sheedy, a do-gooder and attempted overachiever crossed with a weirdo making halfassed gestures towards eccentricity. Although as I've grown, I've probably shifted in Sheedy's direction, as I had nowhere near the aptitude nor the work ethic to keep overachieving in the real world. The weirdo has won. (Of course, Hughes' perspective is predominantly white, so there are probably limitations in how much I see of myself in this movie as a brown kid who went to a mostly white high school, not that I would consider that a failing of his by any means. I don't think there's a problem in writing what you know, and I think Hughes captures this exact socioeconomic milieu quite well.)

A few years ago, Molly Ringwald wrote an article for The New Yorker about revisiting the movie with her daughter. She ruminates on the movie in light of the Me Too movement, and grapples with how the movie and Hughes' other work could be so clear eyed and compassionate towards the feelings of teenage girls yet throw in blatantly insensitive gestures. (They key moment she cites in this movie is the upskirt shot of her character when Judd Nelson is hiding underneath the desk.) It's a great piece and I recommend you give it a read. As someone who's found a lot of social-justice-minded pop culture thinkpieces to be embarrassingly reductive, I think Ringwald's piece tackles the subject with a refreshing level of nuance.

I don't think Hughes is a capital-M misogynist and I don't think Ringwald intends to paint him as such, merely to suss out these contradictions and the way the camera and the writing (or even different parts of the screenplay) can act at cross purposes in fostering or interrogating these attitudes, and bring into focus how someone could be so sensitive as a filmmaker yet have such glaring blindspots. (She brings up a number of elements in Sixteen Candles, which definitely did not go down well the few times I watched the movie.) I suppose there's some truth in reflecting the gaze of the overly sexually-minded mentality of teenage boys, although I think the movie reflects on the overall idea of toxic masculinity more potently with its portrayal of the Estevez character, who seemingly embodies strong, admirable traits, but is pushed by his father to hide any semblance of weakness. (I suppose Sheedy captures his fears most succinctly: "When you grow up, your heart dies.") And the bullying and sexual posturing between Nelson and Hall certainly rings true.

Because this is such an iconic movie, and these actors will be forever associated with these roles, it's fun to consider this movie in the context of their careers, and maybe pretend that they played the same character in all their movies. Most jarring here would be Nelson, who borders on grandpa vibes these days, while Estevez' jock contrasts starkly with the snot nosed punks he played in Repo Man and Maximum Overdrive. I'll happily let Sheedy have her eccentricities after she helped save the world from nuclear holocaust in Wargames, and it's easy to see why the dorky kid played by Anthony Michael Hall toughened up into a muscular meathead in Halloween Kills. Yet its hard to think of Ringwald outside of her Hughes movies, having crystallized into an embodiment of a certain set of teenage emotions. (And whoever promoted Paul Gleason's dumbass principal to an LAPD captain deserves to have their ass fired.) I don't really have a point here, other than the fact that the cast is so iconic that it's hard to picture anyone else in these roles, especially the other actors who were considered earlier in development. Imagine Estevez, John Cusack and Nicolas Cage in the role played by Nelson, and it's hard to see them nailing that exact blend of aggrieved roughneck insouciance. (Cage perhaps could have come closest, but I think of him in this era as maybe a little too nice for the character.)

And after that digression, I must awkwardly pivot back to the fact that the one thing I still don't like about the movie is its ending. Over the course of its hour and a half or so runtime, we see these characters break out of their shells and the confines imposed on them by their social strata and the high school ecosystem, only for the weird girl to actually be secretly conventionally attractive and fall for the jock, and for the nerd to do everyone's homework. I suppose there's a bit of truth to this, in that these kids are still likely to go back to how they were and a single weekend was unlikely to change all that much about their lives and how they saw and interacted with each other, but the attempt to package this into a feel-good ending continues to not sit right with me. I suppose however, that I might be additionally sore because I see a lot of myself in the nerd, but with a dash of Nelson's antisocial tendencies, so I very much would sabotage this gesture towards false unity. "Yabadabadoo, fuck all y'all, write your own motherfuckin' essays. Signed, Anthony Michael Hall." Yes, I'd break character to sign my name. Until the next rewatch.

[trashcankitty12]

Tecna Headcanons

Tecna Mode, the Guardian Fairy of Zenith would like to make your acquaintance. 

She’s a tad sassy, a bit of a show-off when it comes to her projects, and a video game expert. 

(All headcanons are for my main au verses, “Balance/New Company of Light” and “Left”.)

-Tecna tends to be reserved in her emotions, but just as her family knows, her friends (and Timmy) quickly learned that Tecna can be rather affectionate when she feels safe and loved.

-As a Zenithian, Tecna has an easier time learning new technological systems and how to rewire electronics.

-She also tends to be able to see at night. Not better than nocturnal animals, but better than most Magical Dimension people.

-Tecna is also somewhat immune to being electrocuted. Somewhat. (Lightning attacks by storm harpies and Stormy aside, electricity doesn’t bother her. In fact it sort of wakes her up.)

-Tecna is really close to her parents, partially due to her being an only child, partially due to her curious nature putting her in the middle of her parents’ work because she was determined to help.

-(She didn’t necessarily want to be an only child, and her parents had wanted another… But Magnethia had had a hard enough time getting and staying pregnant, that they felt Tecna was more than enough.)

-Tecna may have been a bit of a spoiled child… Her parents made sure to get her the latest technology when it came out, and they gave her her own workspace when she got older.

-As close as she was to both of her parents, she’s closest to her mother. Magnethia loves having Tecna help out at her and Electronio’s workshop. They have created many new gadgets and gizmos together, including specialized robots to do household chores. (Which is why Tecna has no idea how ‘obsolete’ cleaning tech like brooms and vacuums and mops work.)

-Because of Zenith’s climate, most animals and plants do not live/thrive there. So Tecna has had minimal contact with non-robotic plants and animals. Which led to quite a shock when she came to Alfea and saw all the greenery and the birds. (And Kiko and Flora’s plants.)

-Tecna, as a Zenithian, isn’t as bothered by the cold climates as other people would be. In fact, it’s the heat that bothers her.

-Which is why she’s not a fan of the beach. She doesn’t mind going and hanging out with her friends, but the heat and the sand and weird feeling of the ocean just sort of… Bugs her. (Which is why she stays more on the actual beach and wears specialized shoes to keep sand away from her feet.)

-Tecna has a major sweet tooth and has ‘borrowed’ from Stella’s secret stash of chocolates before. (Please don’t tell Stella…)

-She doesn’t like veggie meals much. It’s the textures and slight tangy tastes that turn her away from them. (And as a Zenithian, she doesn’t need them as much.)

-Physically speaking, she’s not in the best shape. She’s like… Bare minimum shape to pass Griselda’s and Real Avalon’s classes. (She’s decent enough at running away and decent at feats of climbing, but trying to be acrobatic or trying to physically fight with her fists or feet is difficult without her winx/fairy forms).

-She’s not a strong swimmer either. But Layla has helped her get to be decent enough that she can make it to her destination without getting herself hurt or drowned.

-Layla has also helped Tecna get better at dancing, which has in turn helped Tecna with her rhythm and dance video games. (Take that Rubis!)

-Tecna is extremely competitive when it comes to games. Video or board or card games with Tecna can lead to arguments and a smug Zenithian fairy. (Bloom even brought some from Earth to try and trip Tecna up… Monopoly and Uno are no longer allowed on Alfea’s school grounds. Thanks, guys.)

-She may not have the best grades at Alfea, but it’s not her fault… Well, not entirely. Okay so she could stand to study more… But her projects just need a little more tweaking. (Please Ms. Faragonda, understand.)

-Tecna doesn’t have the best handwriting… But her typing skills are out of this world.

-Tecna doesn’t have a big appetite, but when she’s hungry, just hand over the plate. (She doesn’t just get hungry, she gets hangry.)

-Everything has to have a place. Tecna’s workshops/workrooms may be messy and unorganized due to everything always being used, but her actual room and desk? Spotless. Everything put away neatly. (And she tries not to look over to Musa’s side of the room when they were still sharing a dorm. That’s not her mess or her side, it’s not her problem.)

-Tecna is sort of a mom friend. But she’s the sort of mom friend who will be telling you why what you did was stupid while she’s bandaging you up. (“Dammit Layla, I told you this would happen. Why did you think you could jump from that height without your wings?” “Musa bet I couldn’t do it.” “Why do I even bother?”)

-(Yes, Tecna has swearing problem. But only around friends or on her own. She tries to tone it down around parents or those who are in charge.)

-Digit, despite being just as big a gamer and tech guru as Tecna is, is also more in touch with her emotions (thanks to having roomed with Amore for so long). Which is great, because Digit helps Tecna naturally learn more about her own emotions without pushing or pressing. (And damn does it feel good to see Tecna and Timmy being more open with each other.)

-Tecna is unabashedly an anime fan. (Or at least, the Magical Dimension’s version of anime.) And she loves comics. (Which shocked her when Stella showed her her own collection. They may have a few get-togethers just to talk about their favorite comics now.)

-Tecna first transformed at 12, after trying to protect a younger cousin from an incoming snowstorm they had gotten lost in. Thankfully it helped her boost her power to signal for her mother and aunt.

-At Alfea, Tecna is part of the STEM club, anime club, robotics, and gaming club. Thanks to her and a few other Zenithian fairies, Alfea’s robotics club finally beat out Red Fountain’s.

-Speaking of Red Fountain… Tecna may have borrowed Timmy’s badge to enter into Red Fountain’s weaponry.

-(She was always curious about how Red Fountain’s weapons and ships worked, and the best way to figure that out is to take it apart and put it back together… She may have even upgraded a few things… Please don’t tell Saladin.)

-Tecna didn’t thrive as well as she claimed while in Omega. She just didn’t want her friends to feel guilty about not coming for her sooner.

-She understood why it took so long. And it was lucky that she was used to Zenith’s frigid temperatures. But it just… She did her best.

-She had to fight like hell most days, trying to keep herself alive and safe.

-And once she was back at Alfea… She had nightmares. (Which she logged into her tablet to try and help herself with later.)

-Eventually, during spring break, she went home and talked it all out with her parents. They had a hard time letting her go back to Alfea after that, but they knew they couldn’t keep Tecna from her education or from her friends.

-(The nightmares eventually faded a bit. But they still haunt her from time to time.)

-Before the whole Earth mission, Tecna and Timmy were one of the first couples to move in-together without any of the other members of their teams.

-They got an apartment on Zenith near their university. (They still go to their classes, though they take them mostly online these days. And they still keep the apartment, though it’s mostly a glorified work space now.)

-Tecna surprisingly gets along really well with Riven. They help each other with their respective partners and they like to build and work on projects together. (And play video games. They’re both super competitive and watching them go at it is like watching a train wreck. It’s awful but you can’t look away.)

-Tecna finds Flora to be the hardest to converge with. Their personalities and feelings on different issues tend to clash and it makes it difficult to meld together.

-Surprisingly, Tecna finds Stella to be the easiest to converge with. It’s like they just complement each other on a new wavelength.

-Tecna didn’t have any interest in music until rooming with Musa. After a few months into their rooming situation, she asked if Musa would teach her how to play an instrument because she felt it’d be cool to come up with her own soundtrack (for a video game project she’s been working on since she was like 12). Musa got Tecna a keyboard and the rest is history.

-She doesn’t get emotional about a lot of things, keeping a cool and level head to focus on facts is a Zenithian trait after all, but when someone messes with her projects or belittles her work or comes after the people she loves? You’re gonna get fucked, and not in the good way. (She has a real temper when she blows up, and people tend to get electrocuted.)

-Once they started their Earth mission, Tecna had to mentally fight herself every day to not upgrade or complain about Earth tech. (“Bloom… How the fuck do these people live like this?!” “Tecna…” “Please. Just one computer. Let me upgrade one computer.” “People will notice and we have to keep a low profile.” “Dammit Bloom!”)

-Tecna has several projects going on any given day, and since dating Timmy and having been bonded to Digit, they’ve been included in helping her with them.

-Most are gadget-based projects, things that girls need immediately or things that can help them. Some are robotics or engineering/vehicle based. But the one she’s the most proud of is the video game she’s still working on. (It’s almost done and she hopes to be able to publish it soon! Maybe sooner than expected since she’s got backing from Sky, Stella, and Layla.)

-Tecna’s main goal, after all this craziness with being a Winx Girl is over, is to take over her parents’ business and to further the Mode Brand of tech. (And maybe even expand into the video game departments. Depending on how her video game goes when she finally releases it.)

[paodequeijofeliz-blog]

Could you maybe write a fic of kamilah x mc where it’s their daughter’s parent teacher evening and kamilah is late due to traffic or a meeting and one of the teachers is openly flirting with mc in front of kamilah and kamilah scares the man in some way.(possessive kamilah)😂🔥🔥

Warnings: a little bit of violence. Not much. 

“How long will it take, mommy?” Lysia was sitting on the hallway bench, her short legs bouncing in the air since they couldn’t reach the floor.

“Probably about an hour, sweetie. Why don’t you go play with your other classmates at the playground?” Annie was kneeled in front of the bench, holding both of her little hands.

The girl looked over her mother’s shoulder, pondering the idea for half a second before shaking her head and pulling the fairy tales book from her pretty yellow backpack. “No, I don’t want to. I’ll stay here reading. Can I?”

“Of course you can. Do you want me to swipe you some cookies from the meeting?”

“Hmmm the chocolate ones. Please.”

“Sure thing.” Annie kissed the tip of her nose before going through the door right next to the bench, where the parent-teacher meeting would take place.

Most of them were already there, and so was the teacher, Ms. Lins. She was the first to greet the woman who walked in, giving her a tight familiar hug, for they knew each other way before that. “Hi, Ann! Where’s Kamilah?”

“Hey, Kay. Well, Kami is…” Annie took her phone out of the pocket, checking the last message. “…late. Sorry, this week is being hard for her, a major client walked out on the last second.”

“No worries. Are you two still in for the picnic on Saturday? We can reschedule if you need…”

“No, no, no more rain checks. Lysia loves to play with Sunny, and I miss you, we haven’t been able to hang out ever since I left NYU.”

“That’s true, I miss you too. Well, let me know if something happens, alright?”

Slowly, everybody took their sits in the classroom, with Annie preferring to stay in the back, as closer to the coffee table as possible. Ms. Lins gave them a full update on the children’s development, their advancements and difficulties, a few issues regarding biting or pushing the classmates… Lysia’s name only came up to reinforce how well she was doing on her piano lessons, a compliment made by Ms. O’Malley, the music teacher. Other teachers were there too, the P.E. one, Ms. Roberts, the teacher’s assistant, Mr. Raymond, and someone beside all of them that Annie didn’t recognize. It was a tall man in a blue sweater, whose eyes kept coming back to her every now and again.

After half an hour, Kayla announced they were having a bake sale and needed to draw who would be in charge of bringing what. “Parents, feel welcome to go serve yourselves some coffee and cookies in the back while I write down the names for the draw.”

Annie didn’t lose time to refresh her cup, pretending she didn’t steal a couple ones before time while they were still talking about the kids.

“I see what you did there. Should I call the cops?” the man in the blue sweater approached her, a warm smile on his face. “It’s a major crime to steal coffee in a school meeting.”

“Oh, well, I’ll just have to add this one to my huge list of murders and trespassing.” Annie chuckled. It wasn’t just a joke.

“Aren’t you a rebel? I should be careful then.” He extended his hand, and when she reached out to shake it, the man held it for a little longer than normal. “Elias. Nice to meet you…?”

“Anna Sayeed. I’m Lysia’s mother.”

“Oh, right. I’ve been meaning to talk to you, Ms. Sayeed.”

“It’s actually Mrs…”

But he didn’t let Annie finish the sentence.

“She’s fantastic, absolutely talented. I don’t think the regular piano lessons are enough for her anymore. I’m the music teacher for older kids, mostly High School, but we have the project to make a mix class with the best students from all grades to play together. Lysia would do wonderful there.”

“That’s… Something to think about. I need to check with her what she likes best.”

“Sure, not a problem. If you don’t mind me saying, that kid is really lucky to have a great mother like you. Kayla told me about your lectures at NYU.” Elias took a step closer, enjoying how they were a little bit out of sight because of a column. “You’re a bold woman, Anna.”

“Thanks.” She sipped the coffee, feeling her cheeks blush over the unexpected compliment. “I used to be way more fearless back then. Had a bad temper though.”

“I see. And now you’re only playing by the rules?”

“I… Yes?”

Annie was getting confused by that conversation. Her attention was so focused in reading what Elias was implying that she didn’t even notice Kamilah arriving. The Vampire was standing by the door, arms crossed as she watched the stranger getting closer and closer to her wife. There was something in the way his eyes were roaming Annie’s face, searching for something, that disgusted her deeply. Every time he took a step forward, the woman in front of him would take a small step back, until she reached the column.

Kamilah was not liking the situation already. It only got worse when Elias put a hand on Annie’s shoulder, caressing it in a way that made her cringe by instinct. The woman was too polite and shy to say anything that could cause a scene, so she only dropped ger gaze to the floor, staring at her own feet to not let him make eye contact.

It was bad enough to see a man trying to hit on her wife, but the audacity to make her uncomfortable like that…

“I’m sorry about the delay, my love.” Kamilah pulled her by the waist and placed a sweet kiss on her cheek, keeping a possessive hand on her hips to send a message. “Did I miss much?”

“Oh, not at all. We were just discussing Lysia’s piano lessons.” There was relief on Annie’s voice. “Uhm, this is Elias, he’s a music teacher here. Elias, this is my wife, Kamilah.”

He hesitated for a second, nodding at the tall woman, but didn’t offer his hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Sayeed.”

The Vampire nodded back but didn’t respond. She wasn’t very pleasured to meet that man. “Is something wrong with Lysia’s lessons?”

“No, she’s doing great. They’re just giving us the option of moving her to more advanced classes.”

“Exactly, and as I was saying, it would be really good for her. I can make an appointment with you to explain things better later, Anna. Then I can answer all of your questions.” His smile and features seemed nice, but Kamilah wasn’t buying it. All she heard was an invitation for Annie to be alone with him. “I can assure you, Lysia would love to take the advanced classes.”

“With you.” That wasn’t a question, but rather a cold affirmation. The Egyptian was still staring at Elias with an unpleasant look on her face, pulling her wife a little bit closer.

“Yes.” He cleaned his throat, fixing the posture, but it didn’t matter, Kamilah was still taller than him. “With me.”

“We will discuss about it later.” Annie jumped ahead before things got bad, already able to read her wife’s thoughts from there. Thankfully, Kayla interrupted that awkward conversation by calling the parents back to do the draw. “We should check it.”

“Why don’t you go ahead? I’ll serve myself some coffee first.” The Vampire gave her a soft kiss, watching as she happily approached the others, so excited to know what her task would be.

Elias’s gaze also accompanied the woman. The man took the opportunity to dodge and flee, finding an excuse and leaving the room. Little did he know that Kamilah wasn’t going to let it go easily. She didn’t appreciate strangers touching her wife or cornering her like that. Without making a sound, the Vampire also left the classroom, her disappearance unnoticed since Annie was too busy rooting and waiting to hear her own name.

“Wha-” Elias’s eyes widened when he was pulled by the back of his neck and pushed against the wall. “What the hell?!”

“Listen to me very carefully, you bastard.” Kamilah stood so close, all he could see was those brown eyes glaring with such an intensity it almost seemed like they were a little reddish. One of her hands was still holding the man by the neck, while the other pointed a long fingernail at his face. “You never touch a woman without her permission first, especially during a parent-teacher meeting when she is so obviously trying to step back. Don’t try playing stupid with me. The next time you put a hand on my wife again…”

“You’ll beat the shit out of me?” he smirked, not nearly aware of the danger.

The Vampire’s grip tightened, causing the man to cough and lift his head for air. She let him feel the despair for a few seconds before releasing his breath again. As Kamilah took a step back, her eyes wondered the marks left on his neck, following them until finally reaching his scared gaze.

“Not me. She will. Anna can have you crying on the floor before you even notice what happened. Don’t be mistaken. You were lucky there was a crowd there. Pull this off again when there’s no one around and you will find out how well I trained her for combat. Now get the hell out of my sight.” She opened a dangerous smile, resting the hands on her hips as watched Elias stumble on his way out.

Just then, the Vampire’s hearing captured a familiar sound. A calm and steady breathing.

Kamilah sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, turning around to see Lysia on the bench. The girl was peacefully reading her favourite fairy tales’ book, and only closed it when felt her mother’s hand on her cheek. She looked up to find a soft smile on the face of someone who was threatening a man’s life a minute ago. “Baby…”

“She forgot my cookies.”

“What?” Lysia pointed at the door with her chin. “Oh, your mom. She promised you cookies?”

“Yes, chocolate ones. Can you get me some? I’m hungry.”

“Of course, my love.” The Vampire leaned to kiss the top of her head, lifting the girl’s face so their eyes would meet. “I’m sorry about what you saw here. I taught you that vio…”

“Violence is wrong. I know. You also taught me that no one can touch me without permission.” She offered a sweet smile, those puppy dark eyes shining against the light. “Maybe now he won’t forget it.”

“You’re absolutely right, sweetheart. I’ll bring you a bunch of cookies.”

“Thanks, mommy!”

Kamilah took her into a long and protective tight hug.

Not even God could help anyone who ever dared hurting her girls.