#thankful for what we have but bitter about what we lost
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Alex: [Smiles warmly] Hi CoraleyeâŠ
Coraleye: [Smiles back] Hi AlexâŠ
Alex: Ready for one last take before we officially call it a wrap?
Coraleye: I guess so! Alex: So howïżœïżœs life treating you now? You adjusting okay?
Coraleye: Oh⊠well it's been a whirlwind, to say the least, heh. But Iâm finding my footing again. Finally finishing up school. Just barely keeping my head above water some days, but yeah, Iâm getting by. Trying to find my new normal.
Alex: [Nods thoughtfully] I want to talk about that a little bit. Youâve had to deal with the aftermath of everything that happened on election night. Do you remember when Cam and I came out to visit you in Brindleton Bay?
Coraleye: Mhm. I sure do. You interviewed some girls I went to school with.
Alex: So, Mackenzie, Briella, Logan⊠Iâm not sure how much youâre aware of, especially with how quickly the media coverage was shut down after election night. But Iâve gotta askâhave you reached out to Coraleye at all since then? Offered any kind of support?
Logan: [Quickly glances at Mackenzie] Iâm not sure if we got the chance to reach out yet, have we? Mackenzie:[Feigning innocence] She hasn't filled us in completely, but weâve heard bits and pieces... Briella: We heard about her and her boyfriend. They broke up, right? [Big grin] Life has a cruel way of teaching us lessons!
Mackenzie presses her lips together, appearing to hold back a laugh, but finally cracks as a sharp cackle spills out.
Mackenzie: Oh my mod, Briella, stop! You can't say that! I just love you. So sorry about her, she's so crazy. Anyways, yeah. We wish her the best. I hope it all works out for her, I really do.
Cam: Well, I think that will probably do it for now, thank you ladies. Alex: Cam's right, thank you for your time. We'll be in touch. Have a happy Harvestfest.
Several weeks later, Britechester-
Alex: Cam and I try not to get too involved with work matters, but I'll be honest, that interview was upsetting. I wonder if they'd still be snickering if they saw what you've been through in these past few months.
Coraleye: Nah, they're the least of my worries. Pretty sure I got the last laugh when it comes to them. [Mischievous grin]
Alex: I'm in awe of your optimism, Coraleye. After all this, youâre really not bitter? I mean, look at Tychoâhe lied, tried to erase your memories. And you still take the high road?
Coraleye: Oh no, please donât get me wrong, Alex! I definitely went throughâand sometimes still go throughâmy naughty phase, from time to time. Alex: [Leans in] You have my attention... Coraleye: Maybe it was for revenge, or a way to cope, or maybe deep down I was just really lonely and had a void to fill. Either way, it got me through some dark times. Perhaps you should book a follow-up interview with Briella, ask her if she found my panties in her boyfriend's room yet. [Waves at camera, winks, and mouths, âHey, Pierce!â] Alex shakes his head amusedly and softly chuckles.
Alex: Damn! You really don't mess around. I'm guessing this doubles as punishment for Tycho as well?
Coraleye: Nope. Actually, his punishment is even better. I'm giving him exactly what he wants. After this documentary is over with, I'm erasing all of our shared memories together. He wanted to mess with my mind so badly, I'll do it for him. Alex: And how do you do that?
Coraleye: Through a spell, of course. You didn't forget that I'm a spellcaster, did you? I'll put the memories in an amulet and give it to our sage of untamed magic. They'll perform a ritual to destroy the memories. Alex: Wow. Remind me to never break your heart... Coraleye: [Smiles] Oh, I will. Alex: [Sighs] Well... Last question we're asking everyone else: Is there any question that you have, after all of this, that still haunts you?
Coraleye: [Tilts head, as she pauses to think] Hmm⊠Iâve still got to write that paper on my ten-year plan, and somehow I feel even more lost than before. I guess itâs time to start figuring that out now.
#ts4#the sims 4#sims 4#ts4 story#MD4#Coraleye Darling#simblr#Alex Hart#Cam Rai#MD4season10#SalientRecollectionDoc#Mackenzie Benson#Logan Anderson#Briella Choi#Brindleton Bay#Britechester#Erwin Pries#GIF
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David Tennant Year in Review - 2023
Davidâs television, film, convention, charity, and other appearances from 2022, all in one convenient photoset - with extra special thanks to Georgia and her excellent Instagram posts
Please see my [ David Tennant Year In Review tag ] for prior year-end posts dating back to 2014
#david tennant#year in review#good omens#doctor who#star wars ahsoka#staged#what a year#long post#even though the strike kept him from doing a lot of promo#(which was by all means the right thing to do)#thankful for what we have but bitter about what we lost#stuff i posted#there she goes#comic relief#macbeth#georgia tennant#michael sheen#catherine tate#elliot levey#definitely a great year to be a david tennant fan#including a small selection of Georgia's DT posts#of things they were kind enough to share with us#they're such a cute couple#edited to add a quick new years addition
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I am so confused by almost everything in this post.
scrunching my face real hard rn
#pls help#what are we even Arguing about and more importantly WHY?#like#theoretically#the body could live forever if all the your cell were constantly repaired and replaced at same rate forever but it doesn't#and because the human body reaches a point where more cells are breaking down then the body can handle people die.#and humans haven't found a single cure to this problem.#so I see no reason#given these facts not to embrace a#aging.#because aging is process that happens to everyone and no one can control that.#so if i have live knowing that death is unavoidable at this current time i at least want to find some joy and beauty in this process#this beautiful bitter sweet process named aging. if i cannot beat the passing of time i wish to embrace it instead#i would rather thank time for what it's given me and greet death like a long lost brother than try and fight against time and death#and live my whole life fearing and being afraid of them#but that's just my two cents#you can tag me or something if any of this made sense to you#or if this blows up for some reason idk
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not to be cheesy and gay but breaking up has been the best thing to happen to me. i get to remember who i was before the r/s (less anxious all the damn time and not codependent on one person) and i remember what its like to enjoy being By Myself and not having to overthink what someone is doing without me.
#egg boils#because its just wow when u stop caring abt the one person u want validation from u start to see how u have a whole group of ppl who love u#for who u r and remember things about u and thats all u need rly... ifucking love my friends <3#not to mention with pmdd and all he was simply Not Helpful nor Understanding and its partly my fault for delaying my diagnosis but idt even#meds couldve helped the relationship LOL#i do want to be bitter always abt the fact that i lost a YEAR for this idiot and losing MYSELF to this person but i will simply look forwar#to what the future holds and next time when i say im not ready for a relationship im gonna fucking stick with it. or when i say we shld#break up maybe dont pull the u can fix me shit#NAYWAY.#i love my friends so much love for my friends#and so much love for myself#one thing i think abt a lot is when we broke up and i finally got over it was how when i got angry i stopped thinking about how i needed to#kms and how maybe perhaps just MAYBE he's the one who shld be gone instead like it was never me in the end it was Never Just Me#also one thing that taught me was that i am simply not made for seggs sorry for censoring like a fifteen year old but yeah. no thanks#also perhaps maybe i was never attracted to him idk. hard to tell given what i was like (extremely obsessed and also much more affected and#desperate when things were looking rough) but who Knows.
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Dream Girl
Summary: Did you seriously think youâd be able to get over someone like Ellie Williams? Think again, dream girl.
an: Iâm so obsessed with this series and the portrayal of Ellie, thereâs just something about a small town romance that scratches the sweet spot in my brain. I hope you guys have enjoyed this one just as much as I have! Thank you so much for all of the support đ€
Warnings: smut! MDNI!! 18+, tribbing (another tribbing fic by Luna?? Ofc do you not know me by now?), lots of kissing, sub!ellie if you squint, angst, mentions of another love interest, mentions of cheating, reader sucks Ellieâs fingers, pet names, unsure and closed off reader, pls lmk if I missed anything!
Read part 1 here!!
You watched from your bed as the gentle wind blew your lace curtains further into your bedroom, the birds chirping as the early morning sun slowly rose, cascading a warm glow into your room, making you squint your sore eyes with a soft groan.
With the slow rise of the sun came the constant reminder that youâd spent yet another night without catching a wink of sleep, lying there as you allowed your thoughts to carry you to places you wished didnât exist.
Places of your ex wife, the bitter taste of your marriage still lingering on your tongue, reminding you of everything that could have been, everything that was lost due to lust.
Places of Ellie, the person who stole your heart first. You think of everything that could have changed had you not gone to the city, how your life's outcome would have had such a great shift due to one tiny change within the line of events that made up who you were, and what you did with your life.
It all leaves the whole in your heart feeling bigger, wider, swallowing up so much of the tiny organ that it almost felt there was nothing left of it.
It had been only a few days since the last time you saw Ellie, and the memories of that night still lingering in you brain, hanging heavily in your mind, stopping you from focusing on anything but that.
Because as much it felt good to kiss her, you haven't even been divorced for a year, and the conflicting feelings that you had for Ellie, paired with the newfound distrust and heartbreak that came from your recent marriage caused a storm in your head, heavy clouds swirling about in the confides of your mind and making it heard to think, hard to breath.
It was all just too fucking hard.
But you knew life was different now. You weren't a teenage girl that could run from confrontations for her own comfort. You were a grown up now, experiencing grown up situations that called for grown up reactions. So you knew that you needed to talk to Ellie, no matter how much it hurt to even think about facing her right now.
You werenât even entirely sure where to start. Texting her was an absolute no, despite how much easier it would be to confront her that way, behind a screen would do a great job at cushioning the blow that came with confronting Ellie. Calling fell under the same category, she deserved much more than a measly phone call from your end with the intention of patching things up.
Which left only one option. You had to see her in person.
You sighed softly as you sat up in your bed, looking over at your phone resting face down on your bedside table. You hadnât touched it since that night, avoiding the device all together in fear that youâd see any messages or calls from the worried girl.
So you arenât surprised when you finally pick it up to see just that. Ellie didnât pry, there were about three phone calls and four messages, all of which came across far too understanding and supportive for someone that had been kicked out mid make out session a few nights prior.
You inhale deeply before you open up your messages with her, and begin typing.
Hi
Iâm sorry I havenât responded.
Are you busy today? Can we meet up? I feel we need to talk
You practically hold your breath until she responds, which doesnât take a very long time because the minute you send your first message, sheâs read it and already typing out her message back.
Hey, donât apologize. I was just worried about you
Ofc we can meet. Farmers market is opened today, you wanna check it out?
You donât even realize it, but her messages are making you smile the second you read them out. Probably because of how easy Ellie makes things, how hard it is to make things awkward with someone as kind as she is.
That sounds great.
Iâll meet you there
Cool :)
Despite the small amount of anxiety that has alleviated when youâre finished texting her, you know this is only the beginning, the easy part of a conversation that will be much harder to have, much harder to explain when you arenât even sure how to navigate your feelings as it is.
But there was no use in putting it off any further, so youâre quick to get out of bed, brush your teeth, haul on a pair of old blue jeans and an old band t-shirt and make your way out to your car to meet Ellie in town.
Itâs almost impossible to have a sour mood in a place as magical as your little town. The moment you got into your car, the warm sun soaking into your skin made you take a deep breath, allowing yourself to clear your head for a second before making your way out into town.
Your mom was right, the sun can cure more than you thought.
You hadnât even realized it was Sunday, which meant it was your towns tradition to hold the farmers market in the town center. You used to look forward to it so much as a kid, knowing it would bring out the best of the people that lived here, showcasing the talent every person had.
Some people sold clothes that they made by hand, pieces that could only be made with love and care, something you often missed seeing in the city. Others sold jewelry, so delicately crafted it was almost unbelievable that someone was able to create something like it.
But your favorite? Was the food. Different pastries baked by the hands of men and women, recipes passed on from generation to generation to continue to breath life into the traditions that made up your town, tying one another together with a single cake or pie.
It was almost like magic.
You catch yourself smiling as you walk down the strip of stands already getting into their sales. Your heart warms at the sight of familiar faces, aged but still happy. You notice new ones as well, like when you approach a stand you remember being up when you were kid, one of which sold your favorite sweet rolls.
Your attention is far too occupied with chatting up the familiar curly haired girl at the stand, the same one that your visit when you were a teenager, eager to her mothers famous pastures. Youâre surprised to see that thereâs now a baby on her hip sporting the same head of spiral chocolate brown locks sprouting from her head, giggling and kicking excitedly as you introduce yourself, grabbing the babies hands as you catch your with her mom.
Ellie had arrived not long after you, standing nearby as she smiles fondly at the way the baby quickly becomes enamored with you. Watching you play with kids was something that always made her heart flutter with joy.
You giggle softly as she hands you both pastries, giving her a nod as she begs you to come visit her and the sweet baby more often. You hum softly as you struggle to push both your receipt and your phone back into your purse, groaning softly to yourself as you fail to notice the sudden looming presence that falls over the, gentle hands opening your bag wider as they aid you in putting everything away.
âHere, lemme help youâ Ellie breaths out gently, her voice alone making you freeze as your eyes trail to her body to land on her face that was suddenly very close to yours.
She chuckles when she notices you staring up at her with wide eyes, nodding her head down to your bag.
âCome on now, would hate to make you drop thoseâ she hums as she mentions the pastries in your other hand. You blink a few times before you clear your throat, giving a quick nod before you push your things into your bag with her help.
âFuckâŠsorryâŠIâŠumâŠâ you struggle to speak, adjusting your bag on your shoulders as you watch the girl step back with a soft smile.
âNo worries, you alright?â She questions, neck craning down a bit to get a good look at you, her own big green eyes staring into yours, making it hard to breath.
God, this was going to be much harder than you thought.
You inhaled deeply, opening your mouth to speak before closing it, looking down at the sweet rolls in your hand before outstretching your arm to hand one to her.
âI bought this for youâŠI figured you hadnât eaten yet soâŠâ you mumble out softly, watching as she stared at you for a moment before looking down at the perfectly packaged baked good in your hand.
Her heart warming at the mere thought of you thinking of her in that way.
She smiles softly before she nods, placing her hand on the small of your back as she began guiding you out of the small strip of stands.
âSo sweet of youâŠcâmon, thereâs some places to sit right up this wayâ she suggests, giving you a small reassuring smile as she leads you there.
Somehow it seems perfect. The sun, the birds chirping, the little shady spot that Ellie leads you over to, covered by the biggest tree with the prettiest flowers slowly drifting down from above. Itâs truly something out of a dreamâŠ.
It made you wish this was all a dream.
You let out a soft sigh as you sit opposite of Ellie on the wooden bench, your fingers toying with the paper the pastry in front of you is wrapped in. Ellie frowns as she watches you closely, knowing the expression far too well. She could see just how much you were in your own head, how the events you two shared prior lingered in your mind, making it hard to focus on anything.
You couldnât even look at her, and she hated that.
She inhaled deeply before she reached a hand out, gently placing it atop yours.
âI hope you didnât bring me out here to apologizeâŠbecause you donât have toâ her words are soft, and sweet, and it makes your throat get tight because she shouldnât be so kind to you after what you did, after the way you treated her.
You donât respond, so she takes the opportunity to keep talking.
âI get that things are probably hardâŠand I shouldnât even have kissed you that nightâŠso Iâm sorryâ she tries again, and you scoff softly before shaking your head.
âDonâtâŠdonât apologizeâ you mumble out before you inhale deeply, finally looking up, only not at her, at the scenery around you both.
âI caught her in our bed, with some girl she worked withâ you mumble out softly, fingers mindlessly running along the rough surface of the wooden table.
âI probably should have seen it comingâŠ.but I think I wanted things to work out so badly that I just ignored itâ you shrug slightly as you explain before you finally look over at Ellie, whoâs already staring intently as she listens to you.
âEllie I donât want you to feel sorry for me, or to think that Iâm using my divorce as an excuse for what I did, for what happened between usâŠ.but I just need you to know that Iâm hurting, and itâs justâŠ.hard for me to open myself up to something like that again after what happenedâ your voice breaks as your emotions threaten to give you away, chin wobbling as tears pool in your eyes.
But you donât let them flow free. You donât want to cry anymore, not over this.
âIâŠI just need timeâŠ.â You silently beg, beg for her to understand what it is youâre going through, what it is youâre experiencing.
It scares you when she doesnât answer right away, her green eyes scanning your face as she takes it all in. Itâs a lot, and you know that, but thereâs a tiny part of you that begs for Ellie to do what she does best, which is tell you exactly what you need to hear.
She blinks a few times before giving you a nod, paired with a soft smile. âYou donât even have to askâŠ.you know Iâd understand no matter whatâ
You inhale deeply as you watch her, her gentle eyes, her soft smile telling you that all would be fine. It make your stomach churn because you feel like you donât deserve it, you feel like she deserves so much more than what youâre giving her.
You two havenât even addressed what actually happened that night.
Thereâs nothing more to do than to simply smile back at her. Itâs weak, and it isnât much, but itâs all you can mange right now.
Ellie smiles softly at you before she looks down at the rolls in front of you both. âAs good of a baker that Mary Beth isâŠ.i think we need some real foodâ Ellie hums out softly before she swings her leg over the bench to get up, nodding her head towards a small diner nearby.
âCome on. Letâs get something to eatâ she suggests, holding her hand out for yours.
She notices the way your eyes linger on her calloused hand, unsure of whether or not you should take it, unsure of what signals it would send if you did.
You were unsure of everything. Unsure of Ellie, yourself, your own feelings. Nothing felt solid enough to trust, and you hated that someone like Ellie could make you feel that way, even though you knew that it wasnât her that was making you feel that way, but rather what happened to you instead.
She can see it, she can see right through you and for a moment her frown mimics yours before she it turns into a soft smile.
âAs friendsâ she affirms gently.
She sees a flash of something ripple through your eyes at this when you finally look up at her, something she doesnât want to read too much into, something that she knows she canât dive into for your own comfort, and perhaps even hers too.
A moment passes before you crack a weak smile, placing your hand into hers before you nod. âYeahâŠas friendsâ you manage to make out weakly before grabbing the things off the table, shoving them into your bag and leaning into Ellieâs warmth as she guides you to the diner.
Ignoring the bitter taste left on your tongue at the way Ellie assured you that she was your friend, and nothing more.
Your mind was in absolute shambles.
It had been a few weeks since the farmers market with Ellie, and truthfully all had been well between the two of you. You both ate together, talked, laughed, you were even able to talk about your divorce, explaining to Ellie how you felt, what it had done to you, and she listened to it all, nodding along to your words, giving you the advice you didnât want to hear, but very much needed. For a moment it was easy to forget all about the tension that had settled between you both, the thoughts that plagued you were finally silenced as you allowed yourself to just simply be.
That was until you got home.
The second you were in your bedroom, lying there, staring up at the ceiling, memories of that night began to flood into your mind. You could feel it all so clearly, Ellieâs hands on your body, her lips pressed against your mouth, gasping for air, her tongue sliding against your own. Her words echoed throughout your mind, desperate pants and moans of how she needed you, of how you needed her.
You couldnât sleep a wink.
It felt as though you hadnât even talked to her, as if things hadnât glossed over to where they were okay, a point where things were fine between you both. They were, but the feelings you had were still there. You thought that if you had at least talked to Ellie, explained to her what you were feeling, it would give you a head start on where to go with sorting out your own feelings.
None of that ever came.
Your body yearned for a moment of peace from the issues at hand, you wanted to feel the same way you felt when you were sat at the diner with Ellie, her laugh and her sparkling smile distracting you from the things you were feeling.
But you knew you couldnât turn to her for a distraction, you couldnât use her to occupy your mind from facing things that youâd much rather ignore. That wasnât fair to her and it would only hurt you further in the long run, lengthen the grieving process of the death of your marriage.
You couldnât do that to Ellie.
You could however, go somewhere that you knew would clear your mind the moment you were there.
The low hum of your car engine shuts off as you pull up to the familiar clearing, a gentle smile on your face as you can already hear the gentle stream of the water the moment youâre stepping out of the car.
The old creek was one everyone in your town treasured, a tiny glimpse of paradise in the confides of your backyard. It was where all the seniors would go for senior skip day, and where families would visit to spend the day with their children. If there was any place that the people of your town would be during the summertime, it would be the creek.
And rightfully so, the waters sparkled like nothing youâd ever seen before, the shady trees hiding the spot away like a secret that belonged to you and only you. You had many fond memories of the place, ones with your family, your siblings, your old friends from school.
Ellie.
You and her would visit the spot any chance you got, diving into the cold water the moment you were there. You could recall the moment you two first found out, thinking it was a secret only you two shared, just to find out your parents had been visiting when they were your age as well.
Regardless of the fact that it didnât belong to you two, it felt like it. A small piece of the world that you and Ellie could call your own, sharing secrets there with one another, Ellie pushing you off the old swing tied up to one of the trees before she swung in soon after, diving in and holding you close to her chest as she promised youâd be together forever, for as long as you both lived.
The intensity that you both shared as teenagers often made you laugh. What a silly thing for two teenage girls to say who have barely experienced the world out there.
You let out a gentle sigh as you rugged off your denim shorts after setting your spot up. A small blanket settled down with your bag, your old camera and a few books, clearly having every intention of staying the entire day, swimming to your hearts content.
Once youâre stripped of your clothes, your body only clad in your old bathing suit, you waste no time in making your way down to the water, shivering slightly once your toes hit the cold water, wiggling them in the process.
Youâre convinced swimming in the small body of water has to have some sort of mystical healing properties, because the moment youâre diving your head under, eyes examining the aquamarine world that is below the surface, your mind is clear. It makes you feel like you could live there, swimming amongst the different underwater caverns and the fish, creating a whole new world below as the little mermaid you always dreamed to be.
Your mother always told you she thought sheâd given birth to a little fish when your father first took you swimming.
Itâs so easy to lose track of time when youâre like this, floating around in the water, letting its coldness wrap you up and swallow you whole. Itâs almost comforting how quiet it is, the only sounds being the gentle stream of the water, the wind rustling against the tree leaves and the frequent sound of the birds chirping to let you know that you werenât alone, letting you know they were there with you.
You donât even realize it but youâve spent hours swimming about in the small pond, the grumbling in your stomach finally stops you for a moment to actually think about anything other than swimming, forcing you out to lay out onto your blanket and dry in the sun, occasionally popping the sweet berries into your mouth youâd brought from home.
The book youâve brought with you also silences the outside world, allowing you to flip from page to page without thinking of anything but the regal characters that seemingly had much more to worry about than you. What a world it would be to wear uncomfortable dresses and attend balls in the hopes youâd find the perfect husband.
What would they think of your divorce?
It makes you snort to yourself, a gentle hum leaving your lips as you flip another page, unaware of the sudden sound of feet crunching against the grass slowly approaching you.
The high pitched sound of your name being called rips your attention away from your book, furrowing your eyebrows a bit as you cup your hand above your eyes to shield from the sun, trying to get a good look at who it was that was disturbing your peace.
âI didnât think Iâd be seeinâ you here! What a surprise!â Lilac chirps out, her curly hair tied up into a perfectly styled bun, tight coils framing her face as she clutches her towel to her chest.
You hadnât seen her since the night Ellie took you out to the Copper Cat a few weeks ago, the girl not lingering on your mind much as you had much bigger fish to fry. You were honestly a bit shocked that sheâd even remembered your name.
You give her a gentle smile as you sit up, your legs folding to cross one another as you give her a small smile.
âGood to see you LilacâŠ.going for a swim?â You ask her, watching as the girl takes the spot right next to yours, her blanket fitting perfectly up against your own as she gives you a confident nod.
âMhm! Itâs too hotâŠbless Ellieâs heart for sharinâ this place with me. Donât know what Iâd do without itâ she chirps out as she tugs her own denim shorts off, leaning her in the cutest little bikini.
You know she doesnât mean it in the way that it sounds, bragging about being introduced to the small clearing by your ex girlfriend, and you knew that it was only in due time that this place was mentioned to her by someone in your town, making sense that Ellie would do it first since thatâs just the kind of girl Ellie was.
But thereâs just something that tugs at your heart at the thought of it all. Ellie mentioning this place to her, the two of them coming down together, alone, Lilac adorned in another one of those adorable bikinis she had to show off to Ellie her gorgeous body as they play in the water together.
Something about Ellie sharing the spot you two shared with someone else that just rubbed you the wrong way.
You inhale deeply, trying to calm your nerves as you remember that this girl owes you nothing, Ellie owes you nothing and Lilac has been nothing but kind to you from the moment she met you.
Giving her a gentle smile as she settles down next to you, you nod. âItâs pretty great out hereâŠIâm surprised it isnât so packed. Seems we got luckyâ you give her a nod before you sigh, turning your attention back to your book.
She smiles fondly as she watches you turn your attention back to your book, her neck craning down a bit to get a good look at the cover, gasping softly once she realized what it was you were reading.
âYou read those too? I love them! I just finished the first twoâ she beams, a soft hum leaving your lips as you look up at the girl, raising your eyebrows at her comment.
âReally? Most people think theyâre super cornyâ you pout softly as you turn the book over to look at the cliche cover, which only earns a firm head shake from Lilac.
âHoney Iâm a hopeless romantic, I daydream more than I actually try talking to peopleâ she giggles out softly, giving you a gentle shrug.
Her words make you chuckle softly, gently closing your book as you toss it to the side before sitting up to mirror her posture, crossing your legs as you suddenly give her your full attention.
âYouâre a hopeless romantic? ButâŠLilac youâre gorgeous. I wouldnât be shocked if you have every single guy here desperate to get a chance with youâ you confess, which only makes her shake her head as she gives you a shy smile, gently shoving your knee.
âDonât you dare! Iâm awful at talking to peopleâ she pouts out, her eyes dropping from her own as she stares down at the flowers on her blanket, delicate fingers tracing the patterns gently as she lets out a gentle sigh.
âIf Iâm being honestâŠitâs not the guys here that I wantâŠâ her words trail off softly, and it makes you pout softly as you eye the girl, seeing how whatever is on her mind is clearly bothering her, plaguing the girl just as much as what was on your mind.
You open your mouth to ask her about it, feeling bad about whatever she was going through, but sheâs quick to shake her head and put on a bright smile once she looks back into your eyes. âBut letâs not get into that! Mâglad youâre here to join me todayâ she breaths out, her voice sweet and genuine as her eyes soften.
And it makes your heart rate finally slow down, seeing just how genuine the girl seemed, how happy she was to be there with you regardless of the fact that you were as good as a stranger to her than anything more.
You smile softly as you nod, leaning forward and placing your hand on hers, giving a gentle squeeze. âDonât mention it, Lilacâ you hum out softly.
If there was anything you didnât expect to do today, it was to have made a new friend, especially one in Lilac. The two of you spent the entire day down at the creek, laughing together, swimming together. The more time you spent with her, the more you realized just how much in common the both of you had.
Being completely honest with yourself, she had more kindness in her pinky than anyone in the city ever did.
The sun has set, and the breeze blew against your warm skin as you leaned against your car, Lilac in front of you as she made yet another joke that had you throwing your head back as you let out a loud laugh.
âStop I feel the same way! I always wondered what happened to himâ you gasp out, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear as you lean back to shove your back into the passenger seat of your car. Lilac giggles softly as she nods, her arms crossed over her chest as she swatted away the mosquitos slowly began to swarm around you both.
âHeâs still an idiot, some people never change I fearâ she groaned out, a prominent pout on her perfect lips before she cocked her head to the side, smiling fondly at you.
âEllie was right about you, you know? You really are somethinâ specialâ she breaths out, and it has your eyes going wide at the mention of the girl. It makes you realize that you hadnât thought about her all day, not since Lilac had joined you.
It makes you wonder what other things Ellie had said about you.
You whine softly as you bring your hand forward to nudge her playfully. âShut upâŠ.youâll blow my head upâ you warn the girl playfully before you sigh softly, looking over at the sun that was slowly bur surly setting, the once warm glow that casted onto you both disappearing.
âAhh I should get goingâŠwe shouldnât be on the roads too lateâ you breath out softly, turning towards the girl and giving her a small smile, only to see a sad one on her face.
You frown softly as you watch her, leaning forward and giving her hand a gentle squeeze. âHey? You okay?â You ask gently, suddenly worried about the girls shift in her mood.
She lets out a gentle sigh before she looks down at her feet, kicking around the gravel below before she lets out a soft hum. âI know we donât know each other wellâŠbutâŠI feel like youâll be my only help with thisâ she admits to you, her eyes still casted downwards before you assure her with a soft voice. âOf course you can..â you mumble out softly.
She finally looks up at you, taking a deep inhale before she gives you a half smile. âIâŠthink I like Ellieâ she breaths out, as if sheâd been keeping it held in for so long, as if finally telling you was letting a weight off of her shoulders.
Letting it off of hers and slamming it down onto yours.
You find it hard to breathe, because suddenly youâre shot back to the first night you met Lilac at the Copper Cat. Ellieâs hand on her waist, hers on Ellieâs arm as she whispers in her ear, the two of them matching one another far more than you felt you couldâve ever matched Ellie. You feel threatened, and it sets a fire off in your chest, and you feel like the world is crumbling around you as this beautiful girl admits her innocent feelings for your ex girlfriend.
When you donât speak, she continues.
âAnd I justâŠyou and her are so close, so I was hoping maybe you could give me some advice? Should I go for it? Do youâŠthink sheâd like me back?â She asks hopefully, twiddling with her fingers nervously as she watches you closely, awaiting your response.
You stare are her blankly, your body working on autopilot as you try to work your way through this. Seeing her that night felt like it mightâve all been in your head, especially when Ellie ran out after you and left the moment you were ready, but now this is all real. This is Lilac confirming that what you felt was real, and this was the reality of coming back to your hometown, more specifically your ex girlfriend.
And as you stand there, trying to figure out what the hell to say to this girl, you can only see someone doing the same thing that youâre doing. Sheâs a young girl, looking for love in this crazy fucked up world, and sheâs unsure of herself. Someone as beautiful as her is unsure of herself and you could only wish that someone would have guided you when you were pursuing your ex wife, a third party bystander giving their advice and helping you through it all.
Because as much as it kills you? Ellie deserves love, and so does Lilac, and if they find it in one another, who the hell are you to take that away from them.
The both of them owe you nothing.
You inhale deeply before giving her a soft smile, nodding as you reach out to give her arm a gentle, assuring squeeze. âI think Ellie would be thrilled to be with someone like you, LilacâŠ.you should go for itâ you breath out genuinely, watching as the girls face lights up with joy with your confirmation, an excited squeal leaving her lips.
âI was hoping youâd say that! Youâre an angelâ she squeals, reaching forward and grabbing you up into her arms as she gives you a tight hug, swaying back and forth as she tucks her chin into your shoulder.
You can practically feel the happiness radiating off of her.
You smile softly as you nod, wrapping your hands around her as you hug her back before you hum. âYou didnât need meâŠyouâll be great on your ownâ you assure her before you pull away, giving her a reassuring nod.
She smiles brightly as she nods before she lets out a loud sigh. âRightâŠget home safe, alright? And text me! We can hang out sometime this weekâ she sings out as she gets into her car, giving you a wave as she begins pulling off.
And suddenly youâre left there all alone, with the newfound thoughts that are swirling about in your head. You know already that you wonât be able to sleep, not with the mental image of the two of them dancing around in your mind, forcing you to face reality, face the facts that time moves on with or without you.
But you were tired of being left behind, you were tired of being the last one to know things, the one broken heart in a sea of mended ones.
Driving off in your car from the creek gives you time to think, the cool breeze kissing your skin, pushing your hair back as the radio plays your favorite songs, creating somewhat of a perfect scenario to think things over rather than running from them.
While it all hurts, you know that thereâs no use in standing in the way of Lilac or Ellie or whoever for that matter. Life would continue moving, and in that meant new love would be found, for both you and Ellie, it just felt like that wouldnât happen for you in the moment, even if you knew it would.
But you were going to move on from this. And you were going to be fine, no matter how long it took for you to catch up with the tracks of life that seemingly always got the best of you.
Thereâs something therapeutic about hanging up the laundry on the old clothes line in your backyard.
You used to make fun of your mom all the time when she did it, telling her that there was a perfectly good dryer inside that would take less than half the time to dry the clothes than they did outside, not to mention less work when it came to picking them in.
However as youâve grown older, thereâs something so simple about walking outside with your basket on your hip, the gentle smell of detergent blowing into your direction as you pin up several articles of clothing, your white sheets, anything that youâve washed, that tickles your brain in the best ways.
That, and the fact that these days youâll take any task to fill your brain with thoughts other than Ellie or your ex wife.
Things had been fine. You spoke to Ellie here and there, dropped dinner off at Joelâs house that you knew he made sure she got some of whenever you made extra, you even made time for Lilac within the week as well. Youâd picked up a small job in town as well, working at the cashier of a small floral shop that had been in town from you could remember.
So although your mind drifted to places you didnât often like, life was fine. Life was slow, and life was good.
Lilac constantly gushed to you about Ellie, talking about all the progress theyâd been making, asking your opinion on the girls behavior, which you always tried your best to help with. Although the strange thing about it all, was you heard nothing from Ellie about the situation. She didnât mention anything about Lilac, not even when you brought it up.
It wasnât long until you began distancing yourself from the both of them, knowing how hard it would be once they became official and you had to live life in a world where they were together.
Because although you were doing okay, the wound was still fresh, and you had to keep your peace.
You hummed a gentle tune softly as you continued hanging up your linen on the line, enjoying the feeling of the cool summer breeze against your skin, the dandelions dancing along through the air as they became loose from their stems.
The sound of your fence creaking open cuts right into your thoughts of housework, forcing you to turn around as you hang up another one of your sleep shirts, a soft smile on your lips when you catch sight of the familiar tall brunette walking into your backyard, both her hands shoved into the pockets of her denim jeans.
âEllieâŠdidnât think you were coming overâ you sigh out softly as you clip the end of your shirt up, continuing to hang up your clothes regardless of her being there.
âWas in the neighborhoodâŠ.I thought Iâd stop byâ she breaths out, eyes taking in your form as you continue with your chore.
Her voice seems like something is bothering her, and you catch onto it the second she utters her first syllable. You know already why sheâs here, to question you about your sudden absence, wondering if things were okay with you or not, worry clear in her tone.
âYouâŠhavenât been around latelyâ she mumbles out, that same worried tone laced throughout her words.
It was just as you suspected.
You frown, thanking the task of laundry that hides your expression from her. Itâs so much easier to lie to Ellie whenever youâre not looking into her eyes.
âOhâŠIâve just been uhâŠdealing with some stuffâ youâre quick with the excuse, clearing your throat before you turn around to give her a soft smile. âIâm fineâŠhonestâ you give her your best attempt at a reassuring nod before you turn back to your laundry.
You have to turn away from her quickly, because you can see from the small glimpses you get of her that sheâs frowning, and her brows are furrowed together with something thatâs bothering her.
You hope sheâll leave after you tell her youâre fine.
But she doesnât. You donât hear her respond to your words, or even turn around silently to go about her day. You hear nothing behind you, only the sound of your white sheets wafting through the wind, drying on the line before you.
You frown when you look down to see your basket is empty, and the task of pinning up your clothes is no longer present to hide you away from Ellie.
So you need to get rid of her.
You inhale deeply, picking up the old basket and placing it on your hip, putting your most believable smile on your face before turning around, finally locking eyes onto the girl to see something that makes your heart sink.
It looks like she hasnât slept, prominent bags under her pretty eyes, pouty pink lips chapped, most likely picked and bit at out of anxiety, a bad habit you knew she had whenever something was bothering her. Your heart tugs at the image, wanting nothing more than to pull the girl down into a hug, consoling her and telling her that whatever was bothering her, would be fine.
But you canât. Because things arenât the same anymore.
You inhale deeply before you nod your head towards your back door. âWellâŠI have lots to do insideâŠmore house workâŠdinnerâ you explain, trying your best to hint at Ellie leaving without having to say so.
âDid I do something wrong?â She finally makes out, her words a clear plea to understand the situation rather than a half mumble that sheâd rather not say.
It makes you furrow your eyebrows, watching the girl with a confused look as you try to understand her.
âWrong? EllieâŠIâve barely seen you. What could you have possibly done wrong?â You try, confused of the sudden outburst from the girl.
Her eyes are stormy, hazy and hard to read. Her brows are knit as she looks down at the floor before looking back into your eyes, a prominent frown on her face.
âWhy would you tell Lilac that thereâs something worth looking for between her and IâŠwhy would youâŠâ her words trail off, as if she wants to say more, as if she wants to persist with knowing why you would have done such a thing.
And soon it all starts making sense.
You wish Lilac wouldnât have said anything. You wish she wouldnât have told Ellie that you were the one that told her to go for it, even if she was the one that asked in the first place. You wish she would have just pursued Ellie without any mention of you, because was that even necessary? You know she must have done it to gush about you even further, the girl becoming enamored with you from the moment she saw you, and even more so once you two became closer.
But for the love of godâŠdid she really have to tell Ellie that you were the one to tell her to go for it?
You open your mouth to speak before you sigh softly, your hands squeezing the handles of your clothes basket before you speak. âIâŠ.she spent the day down at the creek with me and when we were about to leave she told me she liked youâŠand she asked me if I thought she should pursue youâ you explain with a shrug of your shoulders, which only makes Ellie scoff in disbelief.
âAnd you told her that was a good idea?â She argues back, as if it were the dumbest thing you could have ever done. She says it as if it were common knowledge to tell the girl other wise, you raise your eyebrows when she says this.
âYeah? Why not? Lilac isâŠsheâs fucking gorgeous Ellie. Anyone would be lucky to have her, and you should be happy I put you on with someone as great as herâ you mumble out as you slip past the girl, clearly done with Ellie and this conversation as you walked up the wooden steps leading to your back door.
But Ellie isnât finished with you, because sheâs quick to follow behind, closing the door behind you as you make your way into your laundry room to set your basket down, your hands going to your hips once you turn around to see the girls built figure standing in your doorway.
âEllie come onâŠI have things to doâŠyou need to goâ you huff out as you slip past her once again, going off into your living room to start on the dried laundry that needed to be folded, hoping that the girl would simply drop it and leave.
âYou know I understood you the night after the show, and I was more than willing to give you all of the space you need, but this feels like youâre playing some sick joke on meâ sheâs standing over you now, watching as you try to ignore her in favor of some pillow cases that needed folding.
âIs pushing me into the arms of someone else your solution? And ignoring me until Iâve forgotten all about it? Is that the plan? Is that seriously what you think itâll take to get rid of me?â She tries again, her voice pleading with you at this point as she watches you ignore her.
But this time you done, your hands drop to your lap as you stare up at her in disbelief before you toss the pillow case to the side, standing up opposite of her.
âI never had a plan! Lilac asked me a question and I was honest with her. Thereâs no reason why you shouldnât be happy with someone elseâ you explain to her before you finally feel as though youâve had enough, a huff of annoyance filling the silent air as you round the couch to slip away into the kitchen.
Before youâre fully there, Ellieâs voice is echoing off the walls.
âBut I canât be happy with someone else!â She shouts out, her arms flailing up inti the air before dropping down to her side, the sound of her palms slapping against her jeans before she sighs.
You stop dead in your tracks when you hear that one, your back still turned to her.
âHow could I possibly be happy with anyone else when youâre all I fucking think aboutâŠ.â Her voice is tired, and itâs almost as if sheâs begging you for something, something you are not capable of, something you cannot give.
Begging for you.
âFrom moment we had our first kissâŠ.to the moment I said goodbye to you before you left for the cityâŠIâve only ever wanted youâ you can hear her getting closer, slowly making her way towards you as you stand there at the edge of your kitchen, frozen, silent, unable to say anything to her as she confesses these things to you.
âItâs pathetic, and Iâve tried to suck it up for your sake because I knowâŠ.youâre going through a tough time after that moron did what she didâŠ.but I canât fucking hide anymoreâ she breaths out, and it sounds the same exact way that Lilac sounded when she admitted to you that she had feelings for Ellie those nights ago.
Your back is still turned to her, and you know sheâs right behind you because her smell fills up your lungs and makes your eyes roll to the back of your head as you try to fight all of it back, everything that youâve done, all that youâve worked through from the moment you got home to get to the point that you were at currently.
But you feel all of it break the moment Ellieâs strong hand grips your shoulder gently, sighing softly as she speaks.
âLook at meâŠ.please angelâŠâ she begs, her skin wafting onto your neck as she tries her best to fight the urge to grab you right then and there and kiss you.
When you finally turn around, her heart breaks, because the whites of your eyes are red, and there are heavy tears pooling at the edge of your eyes, making them sparkle in the warm light of your kitchen, looking so beautiful yet so tragic all in the same time.
Her chest tightens as she leans in to cup your cheek, fighting back the urge to groan as she inhales deeply. âI canâtâŠI donât wanna pretend like Iâm not still in love-â youâre quick to cut her off, your tears spilling out onto her cheeks the moment you hear the word.
âDonâtâŠdonât say itâ you warn her with shaky words, struggling to even speak with the burning sensation in your throat.
You donât think you could handle it, hearing those words fall from someoneâs lips again, the fear rising the moment they hang from Ellieâs, flashbacks of youâre wife at the alter, promising you everything and more before she kissed you and whispered in your ear that she loved you.
Itâs scary, and it makes you feel terrified of Ellie.
Before she can carry on even further, trying her best to convince you that her words are true, silently begging you to hear her out as her wide green eyes stare down into yours, youâre cutting her off.
âI told you already EllieâŠIâm notâŠ.i canât do this again. I canât give myself to someone like I did with herâ your voice trembles as you explain, her vision blurring with tears as you try your best to swallow them all back.
She licks her lips as she stares down at you before she shakes her head. âI get itâŠ.I get that youâre hurting from what happened, but I canât keep going on without you knowing anymoreâŠ.â She starts to explain, both of her hands coming up to cup either side of your face, forcing you to look up at her.
âIâveâŠ.god Iâve longed for you from the moment you left after high school. There was not a day that went by where I did not think of you for even a few seconds. And Iâm sorry for what happened, and I understand if Iâm just a childhood fling for you, but Iâd rather you tell me that then try to push someone else onto me to distract me from what Iâve felt all these yearsâ she rambles on, nearly stumbling over her words as they all bubble up to the surface, overflowing and dragging you down with her.
You open your mouth for a moment before closing it, looking far too similar to a fish out of water as you try to find the words to say. What are you even supposed to say? Are you supposed to lie to her? Tell her that you havenât felt the same way? But now itâs different and it hurts to even try to envision yourself in a relationship with someone let alone pursue them? Even when itâs Ellie?
Your Ellie?
She watches as you struggle to speak, her eyes searching yours for even a sliver of hope that this will work, that her confession will bring you to a point where you can both meet, where things can be okay again.
And if they canât? She needs to hear you say it out loud.
âTell me you donât feel the sameâ she deadpans, hands dropping from your face as any hope she might have had slowly drains out, fizzling out of her system as she watches you simply stare up at her, a mere shell of the girl she once knew.
âTell me you donât love me, and Iâll never bring this up again. We can move on from this and we can be friends. I promiseâ she breaths out, feeling the air slowly leaving her lungs, making it hard to breathe.
You feel the exact same way. You feel like the world has stopped around you both as images of your life swirls around your head.
Thereâs images of your ex wife, taking the privilege of love from you, ripping your heart out of your chest and walking away with it the moment she decided to cheat on you. It hurts, and it burns and it feels like something youâll never recover from, something that leaves a wound so deep, that it will never grow the familiar leathery skin that itâs supposed to, creating a scar that acts as merely a memory for what happened, for what you endured.
And then thereâs something sweeter in the corner, so small that if you pay enough attention to the hurt in your heart, you donât even notice it.
Itâs memories of Ellie. Sharing your first kiss with her, going to prom with her, spending late nights with her in your bedroom talking about the future, spending time with one another that will leave sweet memories in your mind till the day you die. Itâs soft, and itâs easy and it makes your insides flutter with excitement at the mere thought of her by your side.
As youâre looking over all these parts of you, standing in your kitchen with Ellie and staring up into her eyes, you make a remarkable discovery.
You realize that if you try hard enough, the pain that comes from what your ex wife did doesnât hurt as bad, long as youâre focusing on the feeling that Ellie gives you.
Because when youâre with Ellie, you feel nothing but love.
You lick your own lips as you stare up at her, inhaling deeply before you shake your head, feeling your throat burn with tears before you speak.
âI canât do thatâŠ.â Your words trail off for a moment before your eyes drift down to her strong hands, missing the feeling of her skin pressed against yours.
You slowly reach forward to take her tattooed hand into yours, your fingers dancing along the intricate details of the leaves on her wrist before you interlock your fingers, finally looking up at her as your eyes well up with tears for what felt like the hundredth time that day.
âBecause IâŠ.feel the same wayâ you breath out, watching as her sage colored eyes glimmer with happiness, a gentle sigh of relief leaving her lips as she quickly moves her hand to cup your face, her other reaching down to hold onto your waist, pulling you close to her body.
âJesusâŠcâmereâ she practically moans out before she smashes her lips against yours in a passionate, love filled kiss.
You giggle softly, your hands wrapping around her wrist as you waste no time in kissing her back, arms coming up to loosely wrap around her neck as you press your chest against hers, reveling in the feeling of her lips pressed against your own.
You hummed a gentle tune to yourself as you mixed up the pitcher of lemonade, far too deep in thought to pay the bustling party behind you any mind.
One of your favorite parts about the summer time was the cookouts. There was something about nearly the entire town coming together at someoneâs house, enjoying the warm weather, the bright sun and good food, that made your heart burst with excitement.
You were just about ready to make your way to your backyard with the others, when you felt a firm hand sliding against your waist, smoothing down over the fabric of your flower sun dress and pulling you into their chest.
âDonât you think we have enough drinks baby?â Ellie hums out softly, pressing her lips against the base of your neck, making you giggle softly as you lean into her.
âItâs almost 100 degrees outside, EllieâŠI donât think too many things to drink is even a possibilityâ you explain before you turn around in her arms, smiling softly at the firm as you wrap your arms around her neck, leaning in to press a kiss to the corner of her lips.
âArenât you supposed to be on the grill? You better not burn all that food I boughtâ you playfully pinch her shoulder, which only makes her groan softly.
âItâs too hottttâŠ.wanna be inside with youâ she whines out, resting her head against your shoulder as she gently sways with you in the kitchen.
You hum as you nod, your fingers toying with the short hair at the nape of her neck. âI know babyâŠ.but your father will be very upset if he doesnât have at least one beer with youâŠcome on pretty girlâ you hum out to her softly, your hands sliding down to hold her around her middle before giving her a gentle pinch near her ribs, which makes her yelp out as she pulls away, a prominent pout on her sun burnt, freckled face.
âFineâŠbut come out with meâ she huffs out, leaning in to give your forehead a kiss before she makes her way outside, making you giggle softly.
You sigh softly to yourself, placing the lemonade on a small tray paired with some already filled red solo cups, and a few empty ones on the side that you knew would be getting filled up shortly after you brought them out. You had to move slowly with how full they were, groaning softly to yourself as you tried your best to not let them fall as you tried making your way through the crowd of people in your home.
âOh honey let me help you with that!â You hear Lilac chirp out as she quickly comes behind you, pressing her hands against your waist before taking the heavy pitcher off of the tray, making you sigh in relief once you saw the girl.
âThere you are! I was starting to think you wouldnât showâŠâ you pout out, smiling softly as the girl leaned in to press a friendly kiss to your cheek, which you were quick to lean into as well.
She giggled softly as she groaned. âDid you know that this party of yours is causinâ traffic out there?? Everyoneâs dying to come, I almost ran out with the rollers still in my hairâ she explains, making you giggle softly as she opened up your back door for you.
After everything happened with you and Ellie, you were terrified of what would happen with Lilac. You felt like youâd robbed the girl of something she wanted without even trying, even after being the one to tell her to go for it! Even after Ellie assured you time and time again that Lilac was always one to get innocent crushes on everyone, and that sheâd get over it in no time, you were still scared that youâd lose the girl as a friend after just making her one.
You were quickly proven wrong when you met her in town a few days after, texting her and letting her know you had something to tell her. Instead of her being upset about you and Ellie, Lilac was thrilled. She grabbed you and hugged you, and told you that she even wanted to celebrate with you and Ellie, explaining that her crush was as innocent as could be.
And before you could even realize, Lilac had become your best friend.
You giggle softly as the children practically jumped you once they saw the tall pitcher of ice cold lemonade, frantically grabbing the cups and chugging them down before running off to play in the sun.
Catching sight of Ellie with her father and a few of her coworkers makes your heart flutter, and you decide to fill up a few more cups of the cold drink as you make your way over to them, a soft smile on your face.
âLemonade anyone?â You chirp out softly, all of them taking them gladly before Ellie slung her arm around your waist, pulling you into her side as she pressed a kiss to the side of your head, carrying on with her conversation.
You donât miss the way Joel smiles fondly at the two of you over the edge of his cup.
And later that night, when everyoneâs left and the house is cleaned up, you lay with Ellie in your bed, the cool breeze blowing in through your windows, your bedroom illuminated by the white light of the moon.
Youâre tucked away into Ellieâs side, your thigh hooked over her body, one of her hands rubbing along your skin and massaging your leg, the other looped around your shoulder as you stare up at her lovingly, your hand dancing along her t shirt clad chest.
âDid you have fun today?â You question softly, which earns a gentle smile from the girl before she looks down at you, giving you a slight nod.
âThe best time babyâŠ.havenât seen so many people gathered around for a party in a long timeâŠyou did good angelâ she breaths out before she leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek, which makes you smile warmly.
But the warmth doesnât just settle in your cheeks.
A simple kiss from your girlfriend makes it travel down your body. It warms your throat, your chest, your stomach, traveling all the way down until it settles right in between your legs, making you clear your throat to bite back a whimper.
Ellie frowns softly when she notices this, pulling away to look down at you as she continues massaging your thigh. âSomething wrong princess?â She questions, slight concern lacing her tone as she watches you with furrowed brows, her expression clear in the light of the moon.
When you and Ellie first started being romantic again, she promised you sheâd take things slow. Your relationship only went far as kissing, a few gropes here and there, but nothing further than a steamy make out session that ended once Ellie tapped your thighs and forced you off of her lap, fearing that she was pushing you too far.
At first it was extremely considerate of her. It was true, intimacy was a bit hard for you at first, somehow thinking of your failed relationship every time you tried, blaming your self for not pleasing your wife enough.
But as time went on, those thoughts were virtually silenced. You didnât even have the capacity to think of anything but Ellie when her tongue was down your throat, the feeling of her big hands on your body, and her toned thighs pressed between your legs.
So nowâŠGodâŠyou needed her more than anything.
You were almost embarrassed to even say it, but it was getting to a point that anything Ellie did was setting you into a frenzy. Just today, her toned arms in here wife pleaser and her denim jeans made your head spin, and your panties cling to your needy core.
Her frown deepened when you didnât answer, the girl turning over a bit to better face you before her hand came up to cup your cheek. âBaby? Whatâs the matter?â She questions once again.
You finally let out a soft sigh, eyes fluttering shut as you reach up to grab her wrist gently, keeping her close as you avoid looking into her eyes.
âIâŠ.need you EllieâŠneed you so badâ you sigh out softly, voice barely above a whisper.
Her frown only deepens further as she stares at you down in confusion. âNeed me? But angel Iâm right-â her words are cut off when she feels your grip on her wrist tighten, and your thigh hikes up her body further, pressing your core against her side.
Her eyes widen in realization.
âFuckâŠâ she breaths out, watches as your eyes flutter open to stare into her own, yours filled with want and need as your other hand moves down to hold onto her exposed hip gently.
âAre you sure baby? We canâŠfuckâŠwe donât have toâŠâ she struggles to get out, eyes glued to yours as she watches you.
You shake your head before you gently pry her hand from your face, bringing her fingers down to press against your lips before you sigh. âIâve thought about you every day since Iâve left EllieâŠof course Iâm sureâŠâ you sigh out softly before you open your mouth, taking her pointer and middle finger into your mouth as you slowly suck them in, moaning around them.
Ellie lets out a soft moan as she watches you, feeling her own clit pulse against her underwear as she quickly grows warm with a need similar to yours.
âThatâs my girlâŠfuckâŠ.been needy huh?â She moans out, making you nod before you roll over to straddle her, her other hand coming down to grip your hip softly, massaging your skin through the fabric of her own t shirt draped over your body.
You let go of her fingers with a pop before you stare down at her, a soft smile on your face as you move down to press your lips against hers, wasting no time in pushing your tongue into her mouth.
The kiss is slow, and sensual and dirty and itâs everything youâve wanted and needed since your divorce. Itâs nothing like kissing your ex wife, but itâs everything like kissing Ellie. The noises she makes has your head spinning, and it forces you to roll your hips down onto her, which makes her moan even louder into your mouth.
âFuckâŠwant you toâŠwanna feel your pussy on mine babyâŠcan you do that for me?â She questions out desperately, her hands roaming your body, pushing her t shirt up on your to reveal your tits.
Ellie had it all planned out. She wanted it to be romantic, she wanted to take things slow and show you just how much she loved you, just how serious she was about you. She wanted you to feel loved.
Oh did her plans not go as planned, but oh how you felt so fucking loved.
You nod eagerly, sitting up and tugging the t shirt off, tossing it somewhere in your room. Ellie moans loudly at the sight of you above her, hands reaching up and cupping either one of your boobs, pinching and rolling your nipples between her fingers.
Once sheâs had her fun, you climb off of her for a moment, tugging off her panties, giving her time to tug her sleep shorts off as well, leaving you naked and her bottom half bare. Sheâs feverishly tugging you back onto her lap, allowing you to tug her t shirt off.
And the feeling of your bare chest pressed against hers makes you moan loudly, your lips coming down again to press a needy kiss to hers, filled with tongue and teeth as you both situate yourselves.
The moment comes quickly, your legs slotted between hers perfectly, pussy right on top of hers as she stares up at you with low, hazy eyes, strong hands gripping your thighs and your ass as you slowly began rolling your hips so that your throbbing clit bumps against hers, making the girl beneath you moan loudly as her back arches and her eyes flutter shut.
âF-fuck! Oh myâŠ.fuuuuckkkkâŠthatâs it babyâŠfuck yourself down onto my pussyâŠoh myâŠ.ha-fuckâ she moans out, voice going hoarse as her strong fingers press firmly into your skin, sure to leave marks in the morning.
Your moans mix with hers, paired with the sound of your sopping wet pussies sliding against one another, a symphony of erotic love making that has been a long time coming. Itâs like the two of you let out every raw emotion that had been bottled up for all those years you spent apart, her longing, your hurt, it all mixes together to create something of a beautiful love song that belongs to the two of you, and no one else.
âEllieeeâŠfuck! FeelsâŠfeels so good..â you moan out, picking up the pace as you feel your orgasm growing closer and closer by the second, your bed creaking with every thrust of your hips.
Ellie canât take it anymore, moving to sit up as she grips both of your hips, aiding you in riding her pussy faster before she gives you an encouraging nod. âCome on babyâŠcum with me, yeah?â She sighs out breathlessly, staring up into your eyes passionately as she feels her own orgasm growing closer.
You wrap your arms around her shoulders, keeping her closer as you moan and whine, eyebrows furrowing with pleasure as you struggle to make it there, struggle to not let the pleasure get the best of you.
Your heart feels like itâll just burst.
âIâŠmmmâŠfuckâŠ.Ellie I love youâŠI love you so muchâŠâ you moan out, eyes fluttering shut as you feel right on the brink of your orgasm.
âThatâs my fucking girlâŠI love you so much babyâŠmore than youâll ever knowâŠâ she moans out to you.
And suddenly, you see colors.
Your chest feels like youâve been struck by lightening, struggling to even stay upright as your orgasm ripples through your body violently, your forehead resting against Ellieâs as your arousal mixes with hers, both of your orgasms so intense, so powerful, it feels like itâll kill you both right then and there.
The come down is hard, because itâs almost sorrowful to no longer feel the amazing feeling that comes with making love to Ellie, but the feeling of her strong arms wrapping around your middle and keeping you close is almost better, her lips pressing against your collar bones and chest as you both breath hard, the room silent compared to the noise that once filled it.
She holds you there the entire time, whispering how much she loves you, promising you that sheâll give you everything you could ever want and need.
And while youâve heard all of that before, just for it to end in shitâŠ.
You believe her, because this time? Itâll be different.
#ellie williams smut#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x you#ellie williams x female reader#ellie x y/n#ellie the last of us#ellie x you
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warm me up
A/N: the voices won this round! @strang3lov3 & @speckledemerald also, this was my first time writing game!joel đ this could also be show!joel if that's what you're into! This fic really got away from me today and I didn't think it would be nearly as long as I planned it to be..but that's just sometimes how things work out đ huge thank u to Bug for making me this cute lil mood board and I LOVE the deers!!đ€
~word count: 3.3k~
Summary: while on patrol, you and Joel find yourselves caught in a treacherous snowstorm.
Pairing I game!joel miller x f!reader
Warnings: smut (explicit & implicit) enemies to lovers, implied age gap (non-specific) consent, cock warming, one sleeping bag trope, close proximity, using one's body warmth for survival, denial of feelings, mean!joel, grumpy!joel, reader is a spitfire and gets under Joel's skin easily, joel has a big cock! He is a big big man! teasing, banter, sexual tension, fluff, foul language, pet names: (darlin, sweetheart, and princess) reader has no physical descriptions, +18 minors dni! PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANYTHING!
Joel is freezing, shaking like a goddamn leaf. Itâs ironic, given his disposition. You should have tried to retrace your steps back to Jackson hours ago, but the winter was unforgiving, and the two of you have found yourselves in a real pickle; a frozen one.
âI told you that we were going to end up getting lost out here, Joel.â You grumble alongside him with your arms crossed over your chest. Your teeth are chattering, and itâs grinding his gears.
âWe ainât fuckinâ lost, sweetheart.â He gruffs back and adjusts his rifle strap along his shoulder. âI know where Iâm goin.ââ
You scoff at this because if he did know where he was going, you wouldnât be fucking lost in a fucking blizzard right now!
âRight. Iâm sure you do know where youâre going, Joel.â You mutter sarcastically under your breath.
He whips around to face you, cheeks speckled in red from the cold and even in the lowlight, you can see individual snowflakes sticking to his lashes.
âAlright, miss âI know everything.â Which way do you think we should go?â He awaits your answer with a cocked brow and his lips pursed together. Theyâre severely cracked and on the verge of bleeding from the bitter cold.
âNot the direction weâre currently headed, thatâs for damn sure! Letâs just fucking turn around and retrace our steps.â You bite back and watch the way that his jaw ticks from your tone. God, youâre a real thorn in this manâs side.
âRetrace our steps?â He laughs, shaking his head to the side and sucks in a harsh cold breath of air into his lungs. âThe snow has covered up our tracks, you idiot.â Heâs so fucking condescending, and youâve just about had enough with his shit attitude for one day. Your blood is positively boiling under your thick layer of clothes, and youâd much rather succumb to Mother Nature and her wrath than spend another minute with this insufferable, annoying, mean, and painfully handsome man.
âFuck you, Joel. Iâm retracing my steps whether you have a say in it or not!â You snap and turn on your heel before you feel a rough, gloved-clad hand grasp your upper arm and yank you back towards a hard and very solid presence at your back.
âQuit your fuckinâ yappin!ââ He barks against the shell of your ear. His voice is rasped, crackling like a roaring fire. âYou ainât goinâ anywhere without me, you got that?!â His grip around your arm only tightens when you tried to shove him away, but heâs built like a fucking steel fridge, and youâre no match for him.
âThen stop being a fucking asshole, Joel! Iâd rather freeze to death out here than spend another minute with you!â
You mean every word. Well, you think that you do.
He sneers at your attempt to wound him with your words, as if a man with a heart made out of pure concrete can possibly be affected by the means of your figurative little daggers. They ricochet off his body and fall to the snow, disappearing under a sheet of white. âI wouldnât have to be an asshole if you would just fuckinâ listen for once in your life! God, when we get back, and we will, Iâm tellinâ Tommy that I ainât ever goinâ on patrol with your ass again.â
His steel-like grip loosens when you donât immediately bite back like he expects you too. He wants you to fight back, to call him names and send his own blood boiling because at least then he feels alive.
âFine. Weâll do it your way.â You nearly whisper and bite down on the inside of your cheek, tasting harsh copper on your tongue.
âFine.â He agrees and finally releases your arm. âWeâre gonna wait out this damn storm for the night, and then tomorrow weâll retrace our steps home. Who knows, sweetheart. Tommy might have already sent out a search party for us.â
âLetâs fucking hope thatâs the case. The sooner this storm lets up, the better.â You think youâre going to cry, but you push your tears down as far as you possibly can. You have to conserve your energy, after all. Besides, Joel Miller isnât worth your precious tears. Not even close.
He begins to survey the surrounding area. The woods offered some reliable cover with the thick evergreens acting as a shield from the treacherous wind. The snow is still falling in large flakes, but he might be able to get a fire going if heâs lucky.
âWe should..probably yâknow, share a sleepinâ bag for extra heat.â He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, feeling kinda silly in the moment because what did he have to be nervous for? His reasoning for sharing warmth was logical. It was just his survival instincts kicking in, right?
You, on the other hand, were unfazed by his request. Sure, it made perfect sense to share body heat with this man. Why the hell did he look so distraught over it - weirdo.
âDid Bear Grylls teach you that, Miller?â You look at him with a smirk playing on your lips. âIf thatâs the case, then we should probably sleep naked.â
That feeling that had laid dormant for so long, was beginning to reawaken and defrost at the thought of your warm, pliant, soft body being tucked up around him in close proximity. You were annoying, sure, and he could hardly tolerate your presence, but he couldnât deny that you were a thing of beauty, and neither could his cock.
âNo. Some reality TV star didnât teach me the survival skills that I know, sweetheart. Iâm jusâ that good.â He sounds cocky, full of himself and perhaps thereâs a bit of eagerness detected in his tone? Maybe the dead giveaway is the way his cheeks flush, and this time it isnât because of the cold.
You shrug and drop your pack and sleeping bag at your boots. âWhatever you say, Joel.â
He clears his throat and drops his hand from where it was resting against the back of his neck. He stares at you for a second longer than he would have liked to, and then announces that heâs going to go find some wood for a fire, and for you to stay put.
You wave him off and unroll your sleeping bag with a huff and begin to mentally question how the hell is this grizzly of a man going to fit inside of your sleeping bag? Oh well! Time to defy all the odds that have been stacked against you.
When Joel returns, he finds you already tucked away under the sleeping bag with your clothes neatly folded on top of your backpack. He managed to find a few fallen tree branches that would make good kindling, and some thicker logs for the base of the fire.
He avoids making direct eye contact with you as he crouches down and constructs a fire that he hopes to god will keep the two of you warm throughout the cold night ahead.
You already have taken notice of his suddenly quiet and almost docile demeanor with just your head visible and peeking out of the sleeping bag
âAre you sure that fire is going to last the night, Joel?â
His shoulders and back immediately tense from your question and you can already picture him clenching his jaw and muttering under his breath.
âAinât no tellinâ if it will last the night, sweetheart.â He stokes at the ember glowing logs with the end of a spare stick before looking over his shoulder at you. âYâcomfy in there?â His voice rasps, dipping down an octave and sounding much, much, lower.
âYep.â You chirp. âNice and cozy in here, Joel. Did I mention itâs very, very warm?â
He snorts under his breath, tearing his gaze away from you and focuses back on the fire. âYeah. I bet it is.â
What you really want to say is: and it would be even warmer if you were here with me. But you refrain, and instead bury your face further into the contained warmth emitting from the sleeping bag.
Joel is hesitating, and that part couldnât be anymore obvious based on his tense stature. Maybe he could just accept losing feeling in his fingers and toes instead of crossing that boundary with you. Or, he could man up and deal with the immediate feelings that would come as soon as his hands would inevitably touch your warm skin.
âJoel?â
Your voice tears him away from his thoughts briefly. âHm?â
âArenât you..cold?â
Freezing. My cock and balls are about to fuckinâ fall off.
âMâfine.â He insists.
âSo goddamn stubborn.â He hears you mutter under your breath followed by the sound of the sleeping bag zipper being pulled down. âGet in here before you freeze to death. Iâm serious, Joel.â
âFuck off. I said mâfine.â He grumbles and turns over his shoulder to look at you once more. His eyes catch a sliver of skin, a nipple peeking out from under the fabric as you were sitting up. His head whips around so fast he swears that his brain just got rattled around in his skull.
âWould you just be a fucking man and take your clothes off and get in here?â
So impatient, he thinks.
âYou jusâ wanna see me naked.â He quips back.
âFor fuck sakes, Joel. I just donât want you to freeze out here. Is that so hard to believe?â
Yes.
âJusâ..donât peek. Alright?â He slowly stands up from his place alongside the fire as he starts to shuck his heavy coat off his shoulders.
âFine. I wonât peek, okay? Scouts honor.â You promise him and bring your hand over your eyes to cover them.
Heâs grumbling to himself the whole time as he begins to undress. He bitches about the cold, his cock, and his nearly frozen toes as you listen quietly to the sound of his belt buckle being undone. He does not fold his clothes neatly like you did and instead they are left in a pile near the fire. He dashes for your sleeping bag, yanking the zipper down in a fury and climbs inside.
Itâs a tight fit indeed with barely any room for him to squeeze in but he makes it work.
âFuck!â His yell is muffled as he struggles to make himself comfortable in what little space he has. âFuckinâ cannot believe I actually listened to you.â He rubs his hands together, blowing hot air between them.
âOh, shut up, you big baby.â You stifle a laugh which earns you a displeased glare. âWe wouldnât be in this mess if you just would haveââ
âDo not start with me, sweetheart. Donât you fuckinâ dare.â His brows furrow and his jaw is clenched so tightly, youâre shocked that it hasnât shattered.
âYouâre all bark and no bite, Joel.â You mutter back and roll over onto your side so your back is facing him. You close your eyes and fully intend to get some much needed and deserved sleep, but the man beside you is squirming and making a big fuss.
âDarlinâ I know you ainât want anythinâ to do with a man like me, but it was your idea for us to get naked under here..so all Iâm askinâ isââ
âJust do whatever it is you need to do, Joel. Can you just be quiet about it? All I want to do right now is sleep, and your fussing about is making that really fucking difficult for me to achieve.â You snap.
âAre you givinâ me permission, sweetheart? Cusâ the last thing I want is for you to bite my damn fingers off if I touch you. So as long as itâs alright with you..â he trails off and you take matters into your own hands by reaching behind you and finding his cold hands and yanking them around your body. You couldnât help but yelp from the stark difference of temperature from your body heat to his hands.
âYouâre fucking freezing, Joel.â You state the obvious and he rolls his eyes.
âYeah, no shit, Sherlock. I didnât exactly have time to warm them up, sweetheart. My apologies that my hands arenât at the right temperature for ya.â You think you hear him snicker under his breath, but maybe itâs just his close proximity that makes you hear things.
âWhatever. Itâs fine.â You reassure him.
His hands are big, huge, and the skin on his palms and fingers are rough. The feeling overall is quite pleasant, and soon enough his hands donât feel like an ice block - quite the opposite actually.
He grunts softly as attempts to make himself comfortable without pressing himself into your back. Itâs proving to be a challenge as it is, and he has this feeling deep in the pit of his stomach, that this challenge is going to get the best of him.
âWhatâs wrong now, Joel?â You try to ignore the way his thumbs are gently stroking the space between the curve of your breasts and under your rib cage, and how his touch on your skin is beginning to light a fire in your belly, and between your thighs. His touch is gentle and itâs making your head spin with need and desire.
âI jusââI donât wanna make yâfeel uncomfortable sâall.â He admits, voice rasping deeply. âIâm fuckinâ freezinâ, darlinâ but I donât wannaââ
âJust shut up and stick your dick in me, Joel. Youâll be warmer then.â You surprise both yourself and him.
His meaty palms squeeze you gently, fingertips kneading the flesh as he inhales a shaky, yet audible breath. The tight confines of your shared sleeping bag suddenly feel ten times tighter, and hotter. Itâs suffocating in a delicious sense that you and Joel are stuck here together in this rather..unfortunate situation. You hate him, and he hates you, yet the thought of his thick cock nestling between your thighs sounds like absolute heaven on a plate right now.
Joel thinks heâs on the verge of passing out from your vulgar statement. Itâs been god knows how long since heâs felt the warmth of a womanâs body around his cock. Itâs been too goddamn long, he thinks.
â..well, if youâre askin.ââ He whispers as his hands maneuver your body to press back against him. One strong arm anchors itself around your waist, engaging you in a warm hold when you feel his hard, broad chest pressing against your back. You havenât even seen his cock, yet you already can tell that heâs big. The word big might not even be able to describe the massive size that is Joel Miller.
âThis doesnât mean anything. Right, Joel?â You ask through the thick growing tension that coils itself around you and the burly man beside you like a snake.
âDoesnât mean nothinâ at all, sweetheart. Jusâ sharinâ body heat for survival, like you said.â He rasps and blows a hot puff of air against the back of your neck as his strong thighs wrap around your own. Even this manâs feet are fucking huge in every sense.
Yâknow what they say about big feet? An even biggerâheart. I was going to say heart.
âOkay.â You squeak out as you relax further into his hold around you.
âCan you jusâ let me know if youâre uncomfortable at any point? Cusâ if thatâs the case, Iâll slip right out. No questions asked, sweetheart.â
You couldnât help but giggle at his apparent nervousness. It was sweet, in a Joel-like fashion. Hell must have frozen over right then and there because the Joel you had grown so accustomed to, was anything but sweet.
âWow. You sure know how to romance a lady up, Miller. Did Tommy teach you how to do that?â You couldnât help but wiggle your ass back against him. The thought of reaching down between your thighs and touching yourself crossed your mind, but you refrained.
He laughed, and it sent a wave of arousal gushing like a river because his laugh was beautiful. It was music to your fucking ears.
âShut the fuck up.â His teeth grazed at the spot where your neck meets your jaw. He bit down, drawing blood to the surface of his indentation in your skin. âI taught Tommy everythinâ he needs to know on romancinâ a woman. Donât get it twisted, sweetheart.â
âSure, sure. Whatever you say, big boy.â You nearly purred. Your back arched towards him, a suppressed moan desperate to be set free when his teeth marked you.
âI think someone is a bit too eager over this whole arrangement that we have found ourselves in.â He comments in a low rasp and his hand drifts down from your hip and nudges your thighs apart with a practiced ease. His heavy cock pressed firmly against your lower back as he let out another praising grunt from between his lips.
âStop playing with me, Joel. I donât want to be played with.â You hiss under your breath when you feel the backside of his knuckles slowly drag through the seam of your cunt.
âYâsure about that, sweetheart? If you donât wanna be played with, then what do you want?â
Frankly, heâs taking too long for your liking and you decided then and there to take matters into your own hands; literally. You reach between your bodies before he even has a chance to protest as you blindly search for his cock. Your warm palm barely fits around the girth of him.
âI want you to take your cock and stretch me open, Joel. Think you can handle that? Best not keep a lady waiting. Itâs awfully rude.â You tsk under your breath.
He growls as his hips buck upwards into your hand like heâs never felt the touch of a womanâs palm before in his life.
âFine. I like a woman that knows exactly what she wants, anyway. Wonât keep ya waitinâ any longer, princess.â
Joel Miller is a man of his word and just when you think heâs bluffing, you feel the thick press of the head of his cock sliding through your slick folds and notching at your entrance.
He groans against your ear, jaw clenching, and teeth grinding because youâre tight and hugging him like a fucking fist.
âJesus fuck. Thatâs a tight cunt if Iâve ever felt one.â He rasps as you slowly pull him in further at the rate that he pushes his hips. Soon, heâs bottomed out with his hips firmly pressed into your ass. His legs stay tangled through yours as his arms come to wrap you up in his hold once more.
âFuck.â You breathe, lashes fluttering as he stretches you open. He fits snuggly, almost as if your pussy was making a home for his cock to stay there awhile, all cozy and warm with you. âSee? Was that so fucking difficult?â
He shakes his head and you swear you can feel him grinning against your skin. âNope. It wasnât difficult at all, sweetheart. In fact, I think Iâll stay here awhile.â Yeah, heâs definitely enjoying this.
You smile at this, burying your face into the solid muscle of his bicep, pressing the lightest kiss there. Maybe you even nibbled on it, and maybe he chuckled and pulled you in even closer.
âStay as long as youâd please, Joel.â You whisper softly.
Come morning the embers from the fire had long since died out, and the storm had since passed. You and Joel were still a bunch of tangled limbs and connected warmth by the time Tommy and the rest of patrol had found you.
Joel had since grown soft with his cock still buried deep within your warmth and his face was buried in your neck with peaceful snores slipping past his plush lips. His eyes barely peeked open when he heard familiar voices muffled, yet nearby. Tommy had just brushed a bit of snow off the top of the sleeping bag and pulled the zipper down when he was met with a sight that he wasnât expecting.
âWell, Iâll be damned.â He chuckled and shot his big brother a cheeky wink.
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#fic: warm me up#joel miller#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#joel miller fluff#mean!joel#game joel miller#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel x female reader#joel x f!reader#joel x you#joel miller x you#joel miller x reader#joel x reader#joel miller the last of us#joel tlou#joel the last of us#joel miller imagine#joel miller one shot#joel miller story
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continuation of this thank you again @mynameisjag for the inspiration, this prompt currently has me by the throat
Death of the Father, Death of the Son
The evening is dreary, rain pouring from the skies like tears. Typical Gotham fare to be honest.
This evening was the stage of the latest gala in the crime filled city, another fundraiser for something, or at least pretending to be.Â
Vlad brought his dear Madeline as well as Jasmine with him, he was planning to do some light networking but this was also his latest attempt to cheer his sweetheart up. The new experience might distract her a bit.
She had not taken the news well⊠when the search party found Danielâs clone corpse in the woods.
Itâs been months since the funeral, but her spark for life still has not yet reignited.
And in those past few months Jasmine has seemingly taken over Danielâs job and has become a most persistent thorn in Vladâs side, absolutely refusing to let him make any sort of progress with Maddie.
But this evening wasnât about any of that. There would be no bickering between Vlad and Jazz about him aiding her in finding her lost brother. Not like she even needed his help, she and Danielâs old friends were probably doing the best job possible in finding the boy.
And itâs not like he could tell her he knew her brother was probably being kept by one of the world's greatest mercenaries.Â
Revealing that would open a whole new can of worms he didnât want to explain.
Maddie was mostly distracted at the gala, staring morosely at Wayne and his brood.
The sight fills Vlad with an insidious sort of anger, the kind that lays heavy and molten on the bottom of your stomach. She better not get it in her head to try and replace one bumbling oaf for the next.
Also⊠getting rid of a Wayne is apparently a weirdly difficult thing to do⊠Vlad would rather not bother.
And even though he feels bitter, it is rather nice to see Madeline cheer up when she gets to introduce herself to the boys. Vlad again thinks about his plan of conceiving a new son of their own, not to replace Daniel of course, the boy is irreplaceable but⊠well, yeah to replace him.
After all, is it really worth it to find Daniel anymore at this point?
ââ§ïœ„ïŸ: *â§ïœ„ïŸ:*---*:ïŸâ§*:ïŸâ§â
The gala is uneventful right up until Vlad leaves the main area for a breath of fresh air, hopefully find the designated smoking area and have a cigarette (itâs not like those things can kill him anymore anyway) but on the way there he saw a shadow darting around the corner and he just couldnât help himself.
If there was any illegal activity afoot, he rather be on top of it himself, that way heâll know what he can pull and get away with.
It wasn't until he entered a room and promptly got ambushed that he thought that maybe he had walked into a trap of sorts, oh well, nothing Plasmius wouldnât be able to fix.
Gotham is a city of freaks but none of them are on his power level after all.
Still, precious decisive reaction time got wasted because heâs thinking of an approach that would not result in him having to permanently silence his assailant. Murder is probably rough to cover up in the city thatâs home to the worldâs greatest detective and bribing the corrupt police force is such a hassle⊠a scuffle of a mugging/abduction or whatever gone wrong is much easier to explain.
Instead Vlad finds himself tazed, tazed of all things. Perhaps an ecto infused blast into the nearby wall isnât such a bad idea after all.
But then he finds he canât access his powers anymore, and a mild sense of dread takes root in his chest.
That taser⊠it couldnât have beenâŠ.
He isn't given much time to think about it as heâs expertly incapacitated and worked against the ground.
Vlad thinks he hears the faintest mutterings, something along the lines of âwe do rely too much on our powersâ perhaps itâs some veiled insult directed at his current situation. Uncalled for in his opinionâŠ
Of course he struggles, he fights back. His attacker is way smaller than him, lighter and quick with their moves, whomever this is they certainly know what they are doing and Vlad hates to admit it, but without Plasmius heâs actually outmatched.
That leaves plain olâ shouting for help.
An idea that quickly got snuffed out when a big army knife that crackles with sickly neon green energy gets pressed against his throat and a detonator gets shown off in his assailantâs hand.
âQuiet now, or Iâll blow this place sky highâ
âThat seems counterproductiveâ Vlad canât help but snarl.
âaww, worried about me? there is no need Iâll be just fine, them on the other handâŠâ
the attacker puts a tablet down that shows a video feed of the main gala area with all the people milling about.
None of them matter to Vlad, but his Madeline and her daughter are there as well, he easily spots them too.
âWhat do you want, money? Iâm sure there are better targets for that out thereâ
All of a sudden there is a strangely familiar staticy growl in his attackerâs voice, âI want two things from you, I want you to suffer and then I want you to dieâ
this is personal then⊠not good.
His attacker takes a moment to more firmly incapacitate Vlad against the floor before redirecting his attention to the video feed on the tablet screen. In the main gala area a big screen of itâs own has come down from the ceiling, usually meant for big fancy presentations (but those had already been carried out for the evening) and was now showing Vladâs latest illegal activity for all the people to see.
Inside the room people are worriedly looking to and fro, wondering what rogue attack this will lead to, others are already gleefully taking to social media and broadcasting the events happening to the rest of the world.
Personnel are scrambling about to figure out whatâs going on, and a couple Wayneâs have now subtly left the area.
âThere we go, all out in the open. No more secretsâ
Vladâs eyes darted over the screen in horror.
âI like this right here,â his attacker zooms in on Maddieâs face as sheâs realizing in real time that Vlad paid someone to kill her husband, âthatâs a good faceâ
People are looking around and starting to notice Vlad is not among them anymore.
âYou cannot possibly expect to get away with this, the Gotham bats are most likely already aware and hunting you downâ
âI know-â His attacker shushes, âdonât spoil my fun, at least let me enjoy this show. Even if you somehow manage to get away from me now your life is completely ruinedâÂ
Vlad makes another attempt to escape, growling, âwho are you and why are you doing this, how do you even know about half of these things-â
He gets his hands ran through and pinned down fully on the ground with the knives in return.
Vlad figures he must have made some noise but the painful pressure that his assailant keeps on his back is also making it harder to breathe.
âCâmon now, you always boasted about how youâre better and more experienced in every way. Surely you can use that big brain of yours and figure this mystery out, here Iâll help-â the attacker painfully twists his head to the side, âhave a lookâ
Itâs dark and the figure is still very much in the shadows but the first thing that catches Vladâs eyes is the mask over his assailantâs mouth thatâs black on the right and orange on the left, a rather obvious hint towards ties with a certain mercenary.
The dark hair styled in that one familiar way brings someone else to mind.
âDanielâ
The boy doesnât hesitate to twist one of the knives in his hand.
âDonât call me thatâ
âDanny-â Vlad doesnât hesitate to correct even though it does come out rather strangled because of the pain, this is a bad situation and heâs not stupid, âwhatever he said-â
there is a faint crackle and itâs only through Vladâs still slightly enhanced senses that he hears the gruff voice talking to Daniel.
âWrap it up Mementoâ
Danny glances at the live feed on the tablet. Proper security is starting to swarm around.
Maddie is holding Jazz close and appears to be talking to someone in charge. One of the Wayne brood has decided to stick with her, the eldest son. How kind of him.
Vlad is still trying to get Danny to listen to him.
Danny sighs, âI kind of wish I could drag this out longer, but this is fineâ he twists his knee against Vladâs neck and now properly restrains Vladâs legs before pulling out something new.
âThis is something my dad was working on before you got him killed, I was planning on sabotaging it and getting rid of the blueprints but... things changeâ
Danny puts it in the middle of Vladâs upper back, âIâm sure youâre dying to know what it does. Well, itâs the Fenton Ghost Core Crusher. A bit of a mouthful admittedly. Iâm still workshopping a better name, but at the very least the purpose is obviousâ
âDaniel-â Vlad is starting to sound like a parent who is realizing that their kid is about to do something dangerous and stupid. It's honestly too bad that heâs not a parent and Danny is not his kid, otherwise it might have actually had itâs intended effect.
âI would have loved to see you deal with the full aftermath and consequences of your horrible choices in life but I donât really feel like dealing with you as a full ghost so I guess this is it, goodbye forever, it really sucked to have known youâ
Vlad has a second to fully regret Deathstroke taking Daniel and not taking it as seriously as he should have and then heâs too busy feeling what must be a supernova and a blackhole manifesting in his chest at the same time somehow.
After that he hears, or perhaps he just feels⊠a sickening crack and everything fades away.
ââ§ïœ„ïŸ: *â§ïœ„ïŸ:*---*:ïŸâ§*:ïŸâ§â
There is a corpse at Dannyâs feet. Itâs Vlad, fully dead, the not coming back kind.
Danny figured heâd feel different, there is some vindication, and the slight satisfaction of a death avenged, but other than that he just feels rather empty, and kind of tired.
Danny doesnât realize heâs getting a little lost in his head until Sladeâs voice cuts through his mental spiral and snaps him out of it.
âMemento, time to moveâÂ
ârightâ
A part of Danny wants to stay, be found. As he goes invisible and floats right through the ceiling he takes some time to fantasize about it. Would it be a bat? or perhaps one of the security guards checking the rooms, maybe it would even be one of the attendees, they would probably scream once they noticed Vlad on the ground. A security guard would be smarter about the situation, but not by much.
A bat would probably attack him once they realized Vlad was already dead.
Later on they would put a little addendum in their rogue list at Deathstrokeâs name, a little side file thatâs just for Danny, affiliated with Slade Wilson, name; ???, gender; male, age; somewhere between 14 and 18, threat level; capable of killing people, something like that.
A few buildings away Danny catches up with Slade on the roof.
âDid you have fun? did you get it all out of your system?â Slade folds his arms over his chest.
Danny just growls at him.
âIn that case itâs time to move onâ The man is already turning away.
Well, Danny can agree on that, so he follows Deathstroke away from the mess he caused at the gala and away from his mother and sister.
And here is my idea for a Deathstroke affiliated Danny
#dpxdc#dcxdp#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp x dc crossover#batman#vlad plasmius#deathstroke#slade wilson#madeline fenton#jasmine fenton#MementoDannyAU#savwrites#Danny is not the ghost king#dc stands for disregard canon#dp x dc#dc x dp#I will admit this got a little out of hand#big enough for AO3 but it's incomprehensible without context so...
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what a wicked thing to do
vampire wanda maximoff x fem reader
words: 4.2k
warnings & tags: **18+ ONLY** lesbian vampires yes GAWD, fantasy au, inaccurate historical au, smut, fingering, implied soulmates (?? kinda i guess), biting đ, mention of blood, does this count as hurt/comfort? we shall see!! and uhhh it's kinda spooky ooky vibes but it's not really dark? i think. pls let me know if i missed anything!
a/n: listen..... i've already got spooky season in the brain and i really wanted to reshare this fic. i've edited it a little but i've also left the link to where i orphaned it on ao3 in the title if you prefer reading there~ any and all mistakes are my own! feedback is greatly appreciated and heavily encouraged pls and thank ⥠xoxo
wanda maximoff masterlist || main masterlist
Itâs that time of year in between autumn and winter where itâs only getting colder and colder, no reprieve even during the sunâs highest point of the day. Part of you worries itâs a mistake to wander through the woods like this, especially so close to sunset.
But then you remember the briefest moment when you saw her, when your eyes met hers; it happened so quickly, but also felt as if time stopped. Something flashed in her gaze before she looked away and disappeared in the busy crowds of the village.
That moment, as brief as it was, leads you here. You hug your arms tighter to your torso, cursing the bitter wind whipping around you. Your dress had been a bright idea when youâd first thought of it. Now, youâre wondering why you thought such a plunging neckline would be smart, considering the seasonable chill in the air.
Although, you think with a flutter in your stomach, thatâs not exactly true. You know exactly why you chose this dress.
Thereâs hardly any light left in the sky by now. Youâre kicking yourself for getting lost in the woods, wondering if anyone would notice, or care, whether or not you return to the village. You have no family, no money, nothing tying you to anyone or anything. You work odd jobs to be able to make ends meet. The people knew of you, but you are sure they hardly concerned themselves with your well-being.
But then, when your gaze had met her own, youâd felt seen for the first time in ages. It was like she could see everything inside your mind, every ounce of longing and every bit of loneliness, even in the split second she held your stare. You havenât been able to stop thinking about her since then. Nearly two weeks have passed, and youâd finally decided to find out if the stories that follow her hold any truth. They are quite colorful, full of fantasy and myth, surely decorated to sound more elaborate as the years go on. Fantasy and myth, perhaps, but one particular piece of information continues to remain the same.
She hasnât seemed to age in the fifteen years sheâs spent living near your village. Not one line or wrinkle to be seen on her pale skin. Not one gray hair on her head. Some of the elders even swear they'd seen her when they were children.
Her home is a mystery, one that stays that way out of fear. There is something about her eyes, some say, something off, not quite right. Because of this, no one has felt compelled enough to try finding her home.
At least, not until you.
Youâre beginning to think you are truly lost, feeling hopeless, when you finally spot something in the distance. But just as relief washes through you, the rain starts. Each drop feels like sharp, stabbing pieces of ice landing on your exposed flesh, soaking into the thin fabric of your dress. It takes mere minutes for you to become drenched. Your dress is now clinging to your body uncomfortably, the cold even more biting than it already had been.
It comes into view, what youâd spotted several meters back, easier to make out. A looming castle breaks through the trees, windows lit with candles.
Your arms and feet are going numb, but you push through, stumbling your way to a cobblestone path that leads to tall, wooden doors. With a trembling hand, you raise the door knocker and bang it against the door as loud as you can manage, praying whoever is inside will hear.
Your wait is short lived, thankfully. The door creaks open loudly to reveal the very woman youâd been searching for. If sheâs shocked to see you, she hides it well. She looks as regal as ever. A black dress hugs her lithe body, her hair perfectly brushed and styled. This close to her, you can see what the people mean. She looks ageless.
âE-excuse me, madam,â you begin, trying your best to keep your teeth from chattering. âI-Iâm terribly lost and I d-donât think I can find my w-way back to the village.â
The woman lets her eyes roam your shivering frame, lingering on your glistening chest for a second, then meets your pleading gaze.
âOf course. Please, do come in. Iâm sure youâre cold.â
âTh-thank you,â you reply earnestly.
She steps aside, leaving just enough space for you to squeeze by.
âThink nothing of it,â she assures you. âYouâre welcome to stay as long as you need, at least until the storm passes.â
As the door closes behind her, you take in as much of the space as possible. With it being nighttime, the candles can only do so much. For a castle, it is rather large, but itâs not quite as foreboding as you would have imagined. Though, you surmise, you hadnât really known what to expect at all.
âWould you like something dry to change into?â
You whirl around, almost tripping over your feet as her voice registers, so close to your ear.
She smiles, amusement tickling the corners of her mouth. âPerhaps a cup of tea?â
Swallowing roughly, you nod, offering a smile of thanks in return.
âVery good. You should go sit by the fire to warm up while I get everything sorted.â
She points toward a room where you can see flickering light dancing off the walls. You nod again, letting your tired feet follow the promise of warmth. The closer you get to the large fireplace, the harder you shiver, goosebumps rising along your skin. You stand as close as you deem safe, hands held out to thaw them. For the second time, she sneaks up behind you.
âThis is all I could manage to find.â
You gasp as you turn to face her. Sheâs still smiling as she holds up the proffered item of dry clothing.
âYou frightened me,â you state dumbly, huffing a quiet laugh.
âI did not mean to,â she replies.
âItâs okay.â You glance at the clothes in her hand, a frown forming on your face. âA⊠dressing gown?â
She makes a sympathetic face. âIt was all I could find,â she repeats.
Her eyes dip down to your chest again. They flash, just like in the village, but youâre sure it could have just been the fire reflecting in them. You look down to see what sheâs staring at and heat rushes up your neck. Your nipples are clearly outlined against the wet fabric of your dress.
âOh,â you murmur as you lift your arms to cover yourself.
She clears her throat delicately. âTake this. Youâll get sick if you keep your wet clothes on.â She pointedly holds the dressing gown out to you again until you gingerly take it. âIâll go get the kettle started while you change.â
âThank you,â you return quietly.
When youâre sure sheâs gone, you undress as quickly as you can, more shivers wracking your frame as you stand naked in her drawing room for a few seconds before pulling on the silk dressing gown, tying it securely around your waist.
While you wait you decide to get a better look of the room. A few paintings hang on the dark walls, but mostly theyâre covered with floor to ceiling shelves and stuffed to the brim with books. You take notice of a few spots where the dust hasnât seemed to settle in front of them, figuring those must be her favorites. A plush chaise sits in the center of the room with two chairs on either side, atop an ornate rug that rests on most of the floor. There are a couple small tables between the chaise and chairs with candelabras on them, and a wide, lower table in front of them. You spot a desk by the only window in the room.
Thereâs nothing particularly personal about the space. It almost feels as if sheâs newly moved in. But you know that canât be true, especially since so many people in the village have seen her visit town for years now.
A piece of parchment on the desk catches your eye. You debate over whether or not you should let your curiosity get the better of you, your feet slowly carrying you over to where the paper lay. Thereâs writing on the top piece, and you get as far as the addressed âBrother,â but then hear her round the corner and quickly back away.
âI wasnât sure if you took cream and sugar, so I brought them just in case,â she tells you, setting a silver tray on the low-lying table that held the teapot and teacups.
You walk over as she pours the tea into both cups. You pick one up and carefully drop two lumps of sugar into yours, stirring it with your teaspoon until youâre satisfied itâs melted. A careful sip as you sit down and you hum happily.
âBetter?â she asks, smiling and taking a sip of her own tea, sitting beside you.
It occurs to you suddenly that you hadnât asked for introductions. You scold yourself internally, knowing you had better etiquette than that.
âI must apologize, I seem to have forgotten my manners. I never introduced myself,â you say, then offer your name. âAnd what is yours, madam?â
âYou may call me Wanda,â she replies.
âWell, I owe you a great deal for helping me, Wanda. I cannot thank you enough.â
She waves a dismissive hand. âPlease, there is no need. Iâm glad I was here and that you arenât in danger of freezing to death.â
âAs am I,â you respond, laughing lightly.
Silence settles between you. Your mind whirls with hundreds of questions, but you donât know where to begin. Your plan to find her only consisted of just thatâ finding her. Now that youâre here, you arenât quite sure what to do. Or say, for that matter.
You can feel her eyes observing you like a caress. You struggle not to squirm or shiver, though you are no longer cold. No, there is no chill clinging to your bones anymore. Her stare alone provides enough heat. You chance a glimpse of her from the corner of your eye, but she catches it. She purses her lips to keep from smiling in amusement.
âSo,â you blurt, cheeks pinking, âhave you lived here long?â
You bite the inside of your cheek as soon as the words leave your mouth. Stupid, stupid girl.
Thankfully, Wanda laughs.
âQuite,â she says teasingly, like sheâs letting you in on a joke.
You nod. âI see. Is it a family home?â
She tilts her head consideringly. âOf a sort.â
What is that supposed to mean? Miraculously, you donât ask that question aloud.
âDo you⊠Do you live alone?â
Youâre not sure why you ask. Perhaps itâs that you havenât heard any other movement throughout the castle that indicated a waiting staff of some sort. Afterall, she was the one to fetch the tea.
âI do,â she says.
You donât want to examine it too closely, but youâre positive you note a hint of longing in her tone.
âSâa lot of space for one person,â you muse in acknowledgment.
She nods. âIndeed. However, Iâm sure Iâll find the right companion soon.â
You take another sip of your tea to avoid replying, but are not able to avoid meeting her gaze. The look in her eyes is something youâve never seen directed at you. Youâre hesitant to think it could be want, open desire. Not from a woman like her.
â
Wanda still cannot believe that youâd shown up at her door.
Sheâs spent months watching you from a distance, never allowing herself to be seen by youânot until she felt it was time. From the very first moment she caught sight of you, she knew. You are hers. Her mouth watered when the wind brought your scent to her. There was not a doubt in her mind about whether she would have you; she simply would.
She had waited, ever so patiently, watching you as you roamed the streets of the village. You didnât seem to have very many acquaintances, if any at all, and you were always alone. Wanda quickly figured out that you were without a family as well.
Selfishly, sheâd been happy about these facts.
Finally, Wanda allowed herself to meet your gaze. It was quick, but she knew her eyes flashed, knew that she piqued your curiosity. It would only be a matter of time.
After nearly two weeks had gone by, however, she had started to think it hadnât worked. Sheâd planned on returning to town to purposefully cross your path again, but as luck would have it, you came to her. As soon as she heard the knock on her door, she smiled.
Now, as she sits next to you on the chaise, your skin glowing in the firelight, she finds it harder to maintain her control. This close, your scent is even more intoxicating. Wanda can tell that youâre curious about her. The questions you want to ask are swirling behind your eyes. And now that youâre here, she decides sheâll answer whatever you ask, give you anything you want.
Youâve gone quiet, though, so she does some prodding of her own.
âWhat were you doing out in the woods?â Dressed like that, blessedly, goes unsaid.
You shyly glance down at your lap. âI, uh, I like to take walks,â you mutter into your teacup as you go to take another sip.
Wanda hums. A plausible excuse, indeed. You carefully lean forward to set your cup and saucer on the table and when you sit back you move your hair over to one shoulder. Wandaâs eyes zero in on the pulsepoint of your neck. If she focuses hard enough, she can see your heartbeat throbbing beneath your skin. It makes her teeth itch, makes her control waver even more.
When she drags her gaze away from your neck, she finds you already observing her. Her desire is clearly reflected in your eyes and the feeling is heady.
â
âAre you warm now?â she wonders.
âYes,â you whisper, your breathing picking up, making your breasts heave alluringly.
Youâd go as far as saying you are overheating. The dressing gown, where youâd been unsure and embarrassed of being nude underneath it before, is now a blessing. Your body feels alight with an unseen, growing fire. Shifting on the chaise, you donât notice the sleeve slip down your shoulder, only registering the air skimming across your collarbones. You let out a surprised gasp when you feel something cold on your bare arm.
Peering down reveals it to be Wandaâs hand carefully sliding the sleeve back up into place. Your brows pull together in a frown.
âYour handâŠâ you mumble, trailing off.
She lets it linger on your shoulder for a moment, then slowly traces down your arm, her thumb grazing the side of your breast. Your nipples tighten, thighs clenching together as you watch her fingers stop at your wrist. Though her touch is cold, it feels like a relief against the searing heat of your flesh. You peek at her through your lashes and find her expression to be one of complete hunger.
Feeling emboldened, you hold her stare as you shift to pull the sleeve down again.
Her lips lift on one side, her teeth glinting dangerously. âAre you sure of what youâre doing?â she asks.
You blink, faux innocence shifting behind your eyes. âIâm not sure I know what you mean.â
Wanda takes a deep, steadying breath, though it only helps in inhaling your scent more. She says your name. âWhy do you think you are here?â The question catches you off guard. Wanda shifts even closer to you, watching your throat bob as you swallow. âWe both know it isnât because you accidentally got lost in the woods. You were out there with a purpose. What was it?â
You lick your lips, noticing her gaze immediately drop to them. It makes your heart pound in your chest.
âI donât know,â you reply, unsure.
She leans in, her nose nearly touching yours. âYou do,â she whispers, without doubt. âWhy are you here?â
Your eyes flutter closed, head tilting back without you being aware of it, exposing your neck. You feel her presence mere centimeters away from you, her breath puffing out along the column of your throat.
âI⊠I felt drawn here. It feels like I was meant to be here,â you say, quiet, almost hoping she doesnât hear you.
It feels ridiculous to say it out loud. Itâs one thing to have that thought sit in the back of your mind where you could pretend it didnât exist, but to admit it aloud is entirely different.
âWith me?â
You shiver at her words, her lips having softly dragged across your skin. Helplessly, you nod.
âAre you afraid?â
That makes you frown, but you adamantly reply, âNo.â
âOpen your eyes,â she pleads.
You follow her instruction, wary, but gasp at what you see. Sharp fangs peek out from Wandaâs lips, her eyes so pale theyâre almost white now. Though your heart continues to race, itâs not out of fear. It should scare you, it should send you running, but you find your hand slowly rising to carefully trace a finger down one of her fangs, amazed that she even lets you.
âYouâreâŠâ You start, meeting her patient gaze once more. âBeautiful,â you finish in a whisper, because she is. You go to reach for her face to stroke her cheek, but she lurches backward. In a blink, Wandaâs on the other side of the chaise. Disbelief paints her features.
âYou think Iâm⊠beautiful?â
âOf course,â you state plainly, brows furrowing. Wanda continues staring at you in wonder. âYou said I was here for a reason.â Ironically, sheâs now wary of you as you shuffle closer to her. âI know what that reason is now.â
âWhich is?â she asks apprehensively.
âYou,â you murmur, cupping her cheek. âIâm here for you.â
Wanda looks as if sheâs scared to accept this, to hope for it to be real. You steal away those worries by leaning in to place a soft kiss to her lips. She inhales sharply, eyes squeezing shut, her cold hands gripping your wrist almost painfully. You give her a moment, kissing her forehead as she gathers her emotions, keeping her gaze down.
âAre you sure?â
Her voice cracks softly, but her grip on your wrist loosens as you move it. You lift her chin so sheâs looking at you.
âIâve never been more sure of anything in my life.â
She stares at your lips for a few seconds, and then, as your words sink in, they seem to send her into action. She surges forward and captures your lips, more sure, more eager than before. You respond in kind, pulling her as close as possible, sighing into her mouth.
You quickly find yourself on your back on the chaise, Wanda above you, bodies slotting perfectly into each other like lost puzzle pieces. You feel her hand slide down from where it was in your hair to graze along your sternum. Then her hand cups your breast, thumb swiping across your nipple, and you gasp. Itâs the perfect opportunity to deepen the kiss and Wanda takes it.
Her tongue slides against yours and you whine, clutching at her like sheâs the only thing tethering you to this earth. It becomes so easy to let her settle between your thighs, to arch into her touch and slide your tongue in her mouth, delicately tracing over her fangs. Wanda shudders, grunting inelegantly before wrenching herself away, panting heavily into the space between you. You blindly chase after her, opening your eyes in confusion.
Wandaâs gaze is intent on your neck, full of desire. The weight of the moment hits you, then. What exactly it would mean if you give in to her. So, with full faith in your decision, you tilt your head ever so slightly and she goes perfectly still.
âGo ahead,â you encourage.
She shakes her head. âYou donât know what youâre asking.â
You huff. âI do. I want you to do this.â You know she wonât look at you just yet, so you lace both your and her fingers together and squeeze hers as you continue. âI need you to do this.â
âIf I do,â she starts, swallowing thickly, âI wonât be able to stop. Youâll end up like me.â
You duck your head to catch her stare. âAnd whatâs wrong with that?â
She closes her eyes and falls silent for a moment. The weight of your words fall over the two of you like a winter blanket.
âIâve waited so long,â she confesses, voice quiet, shaking and timid.
âFor me?â you ask. She nods. âIâve been looking for something, or someone, to make me feel whole all my life.â You use your free hand to stroke her cheek. Even with her eyes closed, she leans into you. âIâve waited for you, too.â
When she finally looks at you, you know thereâs no going back for either of you.
âItâs going to hurt,â she warns.
âThatâs okay. It will only be temporary.â
She smiles then, slow and teasing. âI can ease the pain, you know.â
Her free hand tugs lightly on the ties holding your dressing gown closed, raising her eyebrows in silent question. You bite your lip and nod, shivering in anticipation. She undoes the careful bow youâd tied, easing it open and exposing your body to her hungry gaze.
If you felt heated before, youâre an inferno now. Her hands reverently map out every curve of your body. She leans down and plants a kiss above your belly button. It makes your stomach clench in want, but you make yourself lie there and take whatever she plans on giving you. Her kisses lead up your torso, until sheâs eye level with your breasts, and before you can comprehend her movement, sheâs taking one of your nipples into her mouth.
âGod,â you whimper, head thrown back as you push your chest into her face.
âNo,â Wanda giggles, âjust me.â
You try to laugh, but it turns into a gasping moan when she pinches your other nipple between cold fingers. Your thighs attempt to close around her, yet itâs futile. Her free hand begins its descent down to the warm heat between your legs. Your hips buck into her touch, crying out when her fingers make contact with your clit.
âIâm going to do everything I can to make this feel good, okay? Let me take care of you.â
You nod quickly, your mouth going dry. When a single finger enters you, you forget how to breathe for a second, but then sheâs sliding it out and back in, setting a steady rhythm, and youâre back to panting and whining. Only a few minutes later, though, youâre wriggling around, begging for more. She adds another finger and picks up the pace.
âOh,â you gasp, your legs falling open wider.
Wanda buries her face in your neck, inhaling loudly, groaning. She licks across the skin there, nipping at you.
âWanda,â you whimper.
âI know, my love,â she rasps. âYouâre so close.â
Your hands have drifted above you, clutching at the pillows on the chaise, your hips moving in tandem with her fingers. Her thumb meets your clit, adding to the building warmth in your belly. It swells and swells, until finally, it has nowhere else to go and explodes within you.
You feel her teeth sink into your neck at the very same moment, and you can only yell brokenly into the air. Pain and pleasure war inside you, both white hot and searing, marrying themselves into a delicious and lethal combination. You can feel blood trickle down your throat, the same way you can still feel her fingers thrusting into you. It seems to never end and you grow limp beneath her, unable to handle the sensations flowing through you.
She finally slows, removing her teeth and licking over the wound. As her fingers slide free, she brushes your sweaty hair off your forehead with her clean hand.
âSleep now,â she instructs, kissing you softly.
You canât even attempt to argue, your body listening to her and promptly sending you into a deep slumber.
â
When you wake, before you even open your eyes, youâre aware of a few things.
To start, youâre no longer on the chaise. Youâre on a luxurious bed, which is presumably Wandaâs. Your hearing is significantly better, as is your sense of smell. Thereâs a low thrum of energy coursing through your veins, like youâre on edge but donât know why. But the more important thing youâre aware of is the feeling of eyes on you.
âI know youâre awake now.â
You crack open one eye and see Wanda smirking at you from the other end of the bed. You smile and sigh happily.
âHow do you feel?â she asks.
You carefully sit up and stretch. You notice her ogling your still naked body and give her a smirk of your own. Shifting onto your knees, you crawl over the bed until you reach her and straddle her lap.
âHungry,â you answer before grasping her face in your hands and attaching your mouth to hers.
With a force she hadnât used before, she tosses you backward and is on top of you in a flash, a devilish smile on her tragically beautiful face.
âGood.â
#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff x you#wanda maximoff fic#wanda maximoff fanfiction#wanda maximoff smut#vampire wanda maximoff#wanda maximoff#posting this and running
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hi !! can you do headcanons max verstappen X sennaâs daugther!reader?
thank uuuu
hii !!! if i were to imagine senna's daughter!reader she would be so talented. she isn't a driver because of her built up trauma. (im fully aware that the timelines don't add up, don't add logic into it <3) she is an aerodynamic engineer, mainly responsible for making the car. she is secretly in love with speed and racing.
max and y/n met when they were just kids. max was a menace on track and y/n was terrified of racing. she saw speeding cars as a reminder of her father's passing. being good friends, y/n has a tradition of kissing max's helmet as a feeble attempt to keep him safe.
they started dating in 2019, and have been together ever since. y/n being the absolute genius she is, continues to work in redbull and delivers top of the line car designs leading to the dominance as seen on track.
max leaves a single, perfect red tulip on y/n's desk every race weekend, a silent promise to return safely.
y/n hides little notes in max's helmet before qualifying, each one a technical insight phrased like a love letter.
max, despite his aversion to early mornings, wakes up before y/n on important presentations to make her breakfast, his way of calming her pre-work jitters.
y/n, who finds airplanes stressful, uses a calming app max downloaded for her whenever they travel together.
max, after a particularly grueling race weekend, finds y/n curled up on the couch with a book about aerodynamics. he joins her, listening intently as she explains a new concept she's been working on, his full attention the sweetest victory lap.
max knows how deeply the lack of a father figure affected her, causing under-confidence and a constant need of validation. max knows this and never stops giving her words of affirmations.
everyone of the grid adores y/n. they see her spirit and her beautiful face reflect senna's in so many ways. max is fiercely protective of y/n, often defending her from questions about her father and his death.
y/n hates jos verstappen from the bottom of her heart. she is not scared of yelling at him when he berates max. she whispers affirmations into max's ears after a bad race (which was rare but not impossible)
when max crashes, y/n is the first to suffer from the highest intensity of a panic attack. she shivers and trembles until max gets out safely. after the crash in 2021 with hamilton which caused max to fall over in the medical center, y/n angirly stormed towards the cheerful hamilton, shouting angrily.
here's what happened ââââââââââ
the smile evaporated as y/n marched towards him. it wasn't a walk, it was a storm surge. "congratulations? you call pushing max off the track at 200 mph congratulations?" her voice, usually calm and collected, was a tightly leashed fury. lewis blinked, his smile morphing into something defensive. "it was a racing incident, y/n. we both went for the corner." her voice cracked. "racing incident? you call leaving him stranded on the gravel, risking his life, a racing incident? do you have any idea what it's like to watch someone you love walk away from a fireball?" the room held its breath. lewis's face paled. "y/n, iâŠ" "no, you don't," she cut him off, her voice thick with emotion. "you don't get to pretend you know what it's like to see your dreams vanish in a cloud of smoke. you don't get to understand the terror of every single corner, every single race because you haven't lost anyone on this damn track!" tears welled up in her eyes, blurring the accusing stare she fixed on him. "max is more than a rival, lewis. he's a friend, a teammate, a human being. and today, you gambled with his life for a trophy." the silence stretched, suffocating. finally, lewis spoke, his voice devoid of its usual bravado. "y/n, i⊠i didn'tâŠ" "you didn't think," she finished the sentence for him, a bitter laugh escaping her lips. "just like some people never think about the consequences of their actions." turning on her heel, she stormed out of the room, leaving behind a stunned silence and a champion stripped of his celebratory air. as y/n reached the red bull garage, she found max emerging from the medical center, a sheepish grin on his face. relief washed over her, so strong it brought her to her knees. max rushed to her side, his concern a warm balm on her raw emotions. he held her close, whispering reassurances into her hair.
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#formula 1#f1 imagine#formula one#max verstappen imagine#red bull racing#y/n#ayrton senna#senna#ayrton senna x reader#max verstappen imagines#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen angst#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen x you#max verstappen#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x y/n#formula one fanfiction#formula 1 x female reader#formula 1 x oc#requests#ava speaks
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Bet (Klaus Mikaelson x M! Reader)
Summary: Thanks to your brothers, all you knew about the Mikaelson family was that they were dangerous and threatened your livelihood. However, when you're saved by the hybrid himself, he poses a bet to change your mind or be given insight into the cure.
link to part two
You paced the old parlor of the Salvatore boarding house, frustration bubbling inside you like an unwelcome storm. Damon had been shouting in your ear again, his usual rant about the Mikaelsonsâ supposed evil nature still echoing off the walls. He was adamant: the Originals were nothing but a death sentence waiting to happen, and you needed to steer clear of them.
Stefan, meanwhile, had taken his usual route, trying to appeal to your emotional side. He claimed your search for the cure was pointless, a dangerous fantasy you needed to abandon. His eyes had softened, his voice dropping to that earnest tone he reserved for when he was about to say something âprofound.â
âItâs over,â heâd said. âWhat we did centuries ago, what happened to youâŠit was for the best. Weâre a family now.â
You'd barely managed to stifle your scoff. A family, he said. Easy for him to preach about family when he and Damon had been content to let Katherine turn them. You, on the other hand, had been set to marry Emily, a kind-hearted girl from town. All that was ripped away when your brothers decided to drag you into their mess, condemning you to an eternity you never asked for. You had lost everything. You hadn't chosen this life; it had been forced upon you.
âLook, little brother,â Damon had warned earlier that night, his eyes darkening as they flickered to yours, a flash of genuine concern slipping past his usual bravado. âStay away from Klaus. Heâs not the kind of enemy you can afford to make.â
âDamon, Iâm not stupid,â youâd retorted, rolling your eyes in exasperation. âI just want the cure. If Klaus has any knowledge of it, Iâm not going to let your paranoid warnings stop me.â
And that was why you found yourself in the woods outside Mystic Falls, pursuing the rumor that Klaus was near. Your heart pounded, a mix of anger and hope driving you forward. That hope turned into a nightmare when one of Katherine's minions appeared out of nowhere, tackling you to the ground. The stake in his hand glinted in the sunlight, aiming straight for your heart.
You struggled, trying to push him off, but he was relentless. Just as you braced for the end, there was a blur of motion, and your assailant was suddenly torn away. You gasped, scrambling to your feet as you saw Klaus standing over the broken body of your attacker. His eyes were cold, yet his posture was relaxed, almost as if saving you had been a minor inconvenience.
"Youâ" your voice came out rough, disbelief dripping from every word, "you saved me?"
Klaus tilted his head, eyes dancing with amusement. "Don't sound so surprised, love. Surely you didn't think I'd let Katherine have all the fun."
Your pulse hammered in your chest, more out of confusion than fear. Klaus, of all people? The monster your brothers had warned you about? The hybrid who supposedly wanted nothing more than to tear the Salvatores apart? You glared at him, trying to ignore the nagging questions in your mind.
"Why?" you demanded, pushing yourself to stand straight despite the throbbing pain in your side. "Why would you help me?"
Klaus stepped closer, his eyes locking onto yours with a piercing intensity. "Because," he said softly, his voice dangerous and smooth, "I have plans for you."
You tensed, instincts flaring again, but something in his gaze held you captive. There was a softness, a flicker of something deeper beneath the cold exterior. "Plans?" you repeated, the word bitter on your tongue. "Like what, adding me to your collection of enemies? Using me against my brothers?"
He laughed, a low, rumbling sound that sent a shiver up your spine. "So much suspicion. Your brothers really have done a number on you, havenât they?" He took another step closer, his presence commanding and overwhelming. "But I assure you, my intentions are far moreâŠpersonal."
Your stomach twisted in knots, both from his words and the weight of your brothers' warnings ringing in your ears. Klaus Mikaelson is a monster. Heâs dangerous. Donât ever trust him.
But here he was. Standing before you, having just saved your life.
"You expect me to believe that?" you asked, your voice harsher than you intended. "That youâre just here to help out of the goodness of your heart?"
Klaus smiled, his lips curling with dark amusement. "No, I expect you to listen. I know what youâve been searching forâthe cure." You froze. He knew. Of course, he knew. Klaus always seemed to know everything. But this was differentâthis was something you had kept close, something personal, driven by a desperation to reclaim your humanity.
Your mouth went dry. "What do you know about it?" you asked, voice barely above a whisper.
"I know more than you think," Klaus replied smoothly, his eyes gleaming. "But thatâs not something Iâll simply give away."
Of course, there was always a catch. You crossed your arms, defensive. "What do you want from me?"
"Simple," Klaus said, taking a final step until he was just inches from you, his voice low and measured. "Spend time with me. Get to know me and my family. Let me show you that weâre not the monsters your brothers make us out to be. If, after that, you still believe weâre nothing but dangerous beasts, Iâll tell you everything I know about the cure."
You scoffed. "So, whatâthis is some kind of bet?"
Klaus's smile turned predatory. "Call it a wager, if you prefer. If I canât change your mind, you get what you want. But if I doâŠ" His gaze flickered over you, something unreadable in his eyes. "Then youâll owe me."
"Thatâs it? Youâre not going to force me into anything?" You raised an eyebrow, your suspicion still very much alive.
Klaus chuckled darkly. "I donât need to force anyone into anything, love. I think, deep down, you're already curious."
His confidence rattled you. But beneath the fear and doubt, there was a flicker of something else. A sense of intrigue. Curiosity. After all, hadn't you already begun questioning your brothers' stories? You hadnât expected Klaus to be anything other than a brutal monsterâand yet, here he was, offering you a chance.
After a moment, you sighed. "Fine, Iâll take your bet. But donât expect this to be easy."
"I wouldnât have it any other way."
What began as a begrudging agreement quickly spiraled into something far more complex. Klaus introduced you to his family, and to your surprise, they were far more than heartless killing machines.
Elijahâs calm, noble demeanor immediately stood out. He was nothing like the vicious killer youâd imagined. And Rebekahâthough quick-tempered and prone to impulsivenessâhad a genuine vulnerability that reminded you of Stefan in a strange way. They werenât monsters; they were people. Complicated, dangerous people, yes, but not the soulless creatures Damon had described.
Klaus...Klaus was the most perplexing of all.
He was still terrifying, no doubt about itâhis temper as quick as ever, a constant reminder of the danger lurking beneath his every move. Klausâs control over any situation was absolute, as though the world bent to his will, daring not to defy him. And yet, there was something about him that gnawed at the edges of the image your brothers had painted.
It started subtly, at first. His gaze would linger on you a fraction too long, his eyes softening for a moment before the familiar steely mask snapped back into place. In those rare, unguarded moments, you felt something shiftâa crack in his unyielding façade, a glimpse of the man he might have been before centuries of betrayal hardened him into the creature he had become.
And then there were the nights when you found yourself alone with him, often under the most unexpected circumstances. Once, after a particularly brutal fight with Damon, you returned to the mansion bruised and exhausted. You had expected Klaus to gloat or mock your weakness, but instead, he was there, his presence both commanding and unexpectedly gentle.
You stumbled into the grand foyer, wincing with every step as pain radiated through your battered body. Klaus emerged from the shadows, his eyes sharp with concern. Without a word, he guided you to a nearby settee, his hands surprisingly gentle as he helped you settle.
"You should be more careful," Klaus murmured, his voice low and almost tender. He knelt beside you, his fingers brushing lightly over the bruise on your bottom lip. His touch was meticulous, almost reverent, and the contrast between his harsh exterior and this tender care was jarring.
You met his gaze, searching for the ruthless hybrid youâd come to know. Instead, you saw a flicker of something softer, an emotion you couldnât quite place. âI donât understand you,â you said, wincing as your words caused the sore area of your lip to tighten. âWhy keep me around if this is all a bet? Why show yourself like this if Iâm to be a pawn in your game? Donât deny it, I heard my brothers speaking about how you plan to use Elena to get rid of your curse.â
Klausâs expression hardened for a moment, the mask of his usual confidence slipping just enough to reveal the hurt beneath. He took a deep breath, his gaze intense as he met your eyes. âYou think of me as nothing more than a manipulator, but thereâs more to this than you realize.â Standing up, you watched as Klaus turned his back to you, in an attempt to hide his weaknesses.
âI didnât plan for this to be a game,â he said quietly, his voice carrying a trace of regret. âMy initial interest in you was strategic, but it evolved into something far more complicated. Yes, I need Elena to break the curse, but that doesnât mean my feelings for you are any less real.â
âI donât know what to believe,â you admitted, your voice trembling slightly. âYour actions are so contradictory. One moment, youâre this ruthless hybrid, and the next, youâre kind. I canât make sense of it.â
âI understand your confusion. Itâs easier for people to see me as a monster because it suits their narrative. But the truth is rarely that clear." You wanted to look at Klaus, so with much bravery, you stood up from the settee and walked toward him. His back tensed, yet you stood in front of him, his blue eyes darkened with a mixture of frustration and sadness.
"They call me a monster, a villain. And maybe I am those things. But Iâm more than that. Iâm someone who cares about the people I choose to let in." His hand hesitantly went to your cheek, and you couldn't help but lean into the touch.
"And youâveâŠchosen me?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
A ghost of a smile touched Klausâs lips. "Against my better judgment, yes. Youâre unlike anyone Iâve ever met, and Iâve lived a long time."
The intensity in his eyes made your heart pound. You wanted to hate him, wanted to cling to the stories your brothers had fed you, but something had shifted. He wasnât just some ancient monster; he was a man with desires, hopes, and wounds he kept hidden beneath layers of cold indifference.
"Then tell me," you challenged "Tell me the truth. Is there really a cure, or was this just some elaborate game to win me over?"
Klausâs gaze darkened with an intensity that spoke of deep emotions. He took a moment, the silence stretching between you as if he was weighing his words carefully. âThere is a cure,â he confessed, his voice grave and earnest. âAnd if you still want it, Iâll help you find it.â
You searched his eyes, looking for any hint of deception, but all you saw was an unfiltered sincerity that was both unsettling and reassuring. âAnd if I take it?â you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. âWhat then?â
Klausâs expression grew somber, the lines on his face deepening with the weight of his emotions. âIf you take it, youâll be walking away from your brothers, this lifeâŠfrom me.â
The pain in his voice was palpable, but he didnât try to mask it or push you towards any decision. There was no manipulation, no hidden agenda. It was a raw, honest confession from someone who had been playing a complex game but now laid his cards on the table.
You were taken aback by the contrast. If this had been Damon or Stefan, they would have tried to convince you to stay, to forget about the cure and remain by their side. They would have manipulated your feelings, used every trick they had to make you change your mind. But KlausâKlaus was offering you the choice without trying to sway you. He was hurt, yes, but his respect for your autonomy was genuine.
âI⊠didnât expect you to be so honest,â you said, your voice trembling slightly. âYouâre willing to let me go, even if it means losing me?â
Klaus nodded slowly, his eyes never leaving yours. âI am. Because I understand what it means to desire something with every part of your being and to be willing to make sacrifices to achieve it. If the cure is what you truly want, then I will help you find it, even if it means saying goodbye.â
#x male reader#male reader#the vampire diaries#tvd#tvdu#damon salvatore#stefan salvatore#elena gilbert#the salvatore brothers#the originals#tvd universe#niklaus mikaelson#hayley marshall#finn mikaelson#klaus mikaelson#klaus mikealson x reader#klaus mikealson fanfiction#klaus mikaelson x male reader#the mikaelsons#bonnie bennett#bonnie#caroline forbes#jeremy gilbert#mystic falls#katherine petrova#katherine pierce#stefan#matt donovan#rebecca mikaelson#elijah mikaelson
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just close your eyes
chapter 3 âą series masterlist
pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
summary: An injured Joel and Ellie stumble into your home in the middle of the night. Against your better judgement, you decide to help them.
word count: ~2.2k
tags/warnings: post outbreak, slow burn, found family, age gap (sorry not sorry), able-bodied reader, angst, reader has a sad sad backstory and ptsd, hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual smut, vague description of an injury, implied death of a character, the angst is ANGSTING in this one
a/n: once again, i can't thank that jackson joel pedro photo enough for the inspiration that it's brought me. i hurt my own feelings with this chapter, and truth be told, it's gonna get worse from here.
follow @guiltyasdavenotifs for fic updates and find my full masterlist here :)
dividers as always by the lovely @saradika-graphics đ€
Over the following days, something of a routine forms between the three of you.Â
Joel spends most of his time resting, asleep more often than not, the shape of him on your couch a picture that you grow familiar with. But as his fever goes down and the skin around his injury is less red than when you first laid eyes on it, you allow yourself the tentative hope that you might have been able to actually save him.Â
Youâre becoming less skittish around him, getting used to his rather gruff demeanor, slowly realizing that what Ellie said was indeed true, itâs not about you. You come to think he just doesnât like needing and accepting help.
Ellie follows you around like a puppy, eager to soak up every scrap of knowledge that you can share with her. Itâs not much, you think, mostly cooking, the task of turning supplies into various meals, given the limited resources that you have in this world. You like having her around, the almost constant stream of chatter and questions never annoying you.
It fills your usual silence, helps keeping you grounded in the present. Most of the time.
Now that you have company, it becomes painfully obvious to you how much time you spend in your head, just sitting and staring straight ahead, lost in your thoughts, oblivious to the time passing. You have taken to having a book open in your lap, to make it seem like youâre reading, but you find yourself looking down at the page without seeing it, not sure when you last turned it.Â
Itâs not what they would have wanted, you keep telling yourself, trying to shake yourself out of it. Well, itâs not like anything happened the way we wanted, the bitter voice in your head answers.
If Ellie or Joel notice, they donât ask about it. You hear their voices in the night sometimes, both of them sleeping in your parentsâ bedroom now, since the couch was starting to hurt Joelâs back.Â
You donât lock your door anymore, leaving it ajar, just like them. The thought of someone else being down here with you is soothing you, the fear of them being a possible threat basically nonexistent at this point. Instead, a different kind of fear sets in.Â
They havenât talked about where they are going, but you know that theyâre not gonna stay forever. Once Joel is completely healed, and winter has given way to spring, theyâll most likely be off again, leaving you on your own again. You donât want to grow attached, but itâs difficult not to, while being with other constantly.Â
You and Joel are taking longer to warm up to each other than you and Ellie have, but youâve gotten used to having him around you. Itâs a quiet, but trustworthy, reassuring thing, his presence in your space. Now that heâs healing, heâs someone who you trust to take responsibility, to take care of things if needed. Youâre not sure how you know, but youâre certain that he is.
One evening, Ellie finds the DVD collection thatâs stashed away in the cabinet under the small TV in the corner of the room. You hadnât watched anything in forever, not sure if itâs even still working, but her enthusiasm makes it impossible to turn her down.Â
Even Joel pipes up at the prospect of a movie night, crouching down next to her to sift through the DVDs. Theyâre both drawn to the shitty action movies â usually not your preferred taste, but you find the corners of your mouth lifting when they both turn around simultaneously, looking for your approval of their choice.Â
Joel pushes himself back up with a grunt, pressing the button on the TV and making it spring to life without issue. You settle deeper into the couch cushions, pulling a knitted blanket over yourself as you watch the opening credits play.Â
Itâs so comfortable, so normal, and you want to get lost in the feeling in a way that makes your heart ache. Ellie sits down beside you to share the blanket while Joel stretches his legs out on the other couch. A smile is tugging at his lips when he catches you looking at him, but it canât hide the wariness in his eyes, mirroring your own. Itâs the feeling of things being too good to be true, the fear of nothing good ever lasting, of the world crashing down around you again, that always accompanies you, and without asking, you know that he feels it too. You cast your eyes back to the screen, trying hard not to get yourself lost in the fear, but to enjoy the moments of peace while they last.Â
Ellie loves the movie, her eyes wide at every action-packed sequence, gasping at every explosion. At one of the more absurd scenes, you canât contain the burst of laughter that bubbles up your throat. Youâre unexpectedly joined by the deeper rumble of Joelâs, a sound that you havenât heard before.Â
You glance at him, to find his eyes already on you, an emotion in them that you canât place. Neither of you say a word, both quietly returning your eyes to the TV.Â
When youâre lying in bed later that night, you still feel the smile on your face.Â
While your closeness with Ellie came quickly, almost taking you by storm, itâs a quiet, slowly growing thing with Joel.Â
It begins with him lingering in the kitchen when youâre preparing the morning coffee, asking you questions about the place, about keeping supplies, electricity, the safety measures. He helps you with cooking, grumbling about giving something back when you protest.Â
Heâs gruff, no comparison to Ellieâs lively chatter and endless questions, and it makes you nervous at first. But you get used to him, his more quiet demeanor, his dry humor. You can tell that heâs trying hard not to scare you again, avoiding sudden movements or getting loud, and while you appreciate it, you also canât help but wonder how broken you must seem from the outside.Â
He doesnât ask prying questions about your past, how youâve come to live here all alone, though you have to imagine that heâs curious. You donât ask him about his either, even if you do wonder how he and Ellie ended up together. Itâs a quiet mutual understanding and youâre grateful for it.Â
You have to believe that he had his fair share of loss in his own life, that the both of them had; an inescapable reality at this point in the worldâs history.
Itâs like a silent camaraderie when he catches your eye as Ellie is reading out puns to the both of you once more, rolls his eyes in a way that still holds so much love for the girl next to you, but that fills you with the urge to giggle. It stops you in your tracks the first time it happens, the sensation so unfamiliar to you that you canât place it for a second.Â
When you smile at him, the corners of his mouth rise ever so slightly as well, before he huffs an exaggerated sigh at the joke that you just heard. It riles Ellie up, just like he wanted to, you suspect. But you block out her bickering at him, busy with your own thoughts. One thought in particular, one that you havenât had about anyone since you were a teenager.Â
Joel is kind of pretty when he smiles.
The both of them have also taken to working their way through the bookshelf thatâs taking up most of one of the walls. Itâs mostly guidebooks on hunting, gardening, self defense, anything that your father deemed possibly useful. Over time, you had added books from your old bedroom, the one upstairs, that you had hastily carried down the stairs, hoping for the familiar words to give you a sense of normalcy in a world where nothing was normal anymore.Â
Joel sometimes talks to you about them, asking your opinion on which ones to read, discussing their contents with you. Over time, you realize that he does it when youâre zoning out, pulling you back into reality with the drawl of his low voice next to you. Youâre thankful for it, not used to being cared for like this, but also mortified that as it seems, he does notice when youâre too deep inside your head.
Itâs one of those afternoons, youâre just about to start preparing dinner, when Ellie asks if you have more books somewhere, about something cool. âLike what?â you reply, an easy smile on your face.Â
âI donât know,â she shrugs, âlike comics, maybe? Ohh, or something about space?âÂ
It takes a moment before the words register, before they form a picture in your mind, the memory of exactly what sheâs asking for. You stop in your tracks, frozen on your way to the kitchen. Your toes dig into the carpet beneath your bare feet. A faint trembling starts in your hands and slowly spreads through your body.Â
Ellie says your name, an edge in her voice. Youâre not sure what your face looks like.Â
Your wide eyes find hers, looking up at you from where she was spread out on the floor, her hair splaying out over the scratchy rug, one of your books held over her head. You had joked about how that position couldnât be comfortable a few minutes ago.Â
You see Joel from the corner of your eye, slowly raising to his feet from the couch cushions. It feels like you canât breathe, like youâre sucking in air but it doesnât reach your lungs.Â
A large, warm hand lands on your shoulder, making you jump. Joel rubs soothing circles over your back, your name a low rumble on his lips.Â
âItâsâ itâs not a problem if not,â Ellie murmurs, sitting up slowly, her eyes flicking between you and Joel, uncertainty written over her features.Â
You force a shuddering breath in, using the sensation of Joelâs hand splayed over your back to ground yourself. Nodding your head, you will your voice to travel up your throat.Â
âYeah no, Iâ just a second.âÂ
Joel repeats your name, more questioning this time, but you ignore it, feet carrying you into the bathroom where you quickly shut the door behind you. Skin stretching over your knuckles, you stand over the sink, gripping its edges to stay upright.Â
Itâs what he would have wanted. He would have been so happy to share them. Itâs true, you know what.Â
Youâre not sure whatâs worse. Going in there yourself, crossing the threshold of a room that you havenât entered in years, havenât even opened the door to, or letting someone else do it, let them disturb the memory of a reality that youâve tried to preserve in there. Too painful to touch, but too important to let go of.Â
Steeling yourself, you return to the living area. Ellie and Joel are sitting close to each other, both of their heads flying up at the door opening. Itâs obvious that they have been talking about you. You bite your lip.Â
Ellie rises to her feet slowly, takes a tentative step toward you. âListen, itâs not that important reallyââ She sounds like sheâs talking to a skittish animal.Â
You shake your head, not trusting your voice not to betray you. With a deep breath, you cross the room to the door beside yours. One of two that you keep firmly closed.Â
It creaks on its hinges when you open it slowly, your hand shaking on the handle. You try not to look around, to keep your eyes closed to the truth that nothing changed in here, and yet everything changed. Itâs stuffy, stagnant air thatâs been untouched for too long, but it smells like him. Like heâs still here with you.Â
You donât see the unmade bed, still carrying the trace of the last time he got up, the stuffed lion beside the pillow. Donât see the half finished drawings on the desk, or the mess of action figures in the corner. You grab the stack of comics from the nightstand, ignoring the way your vision blurs at the edges. Move on to the shelf, smaller than the one in the living room, blindly picking out random books.Â
When you step out of the bedroom, quickly pulling the door shut behind you again, neither Joel or Ellie have moved. You canât meet either oneâs gaze, donât want to see the expression in their eyes.
Ellie takes the stack of books from your outstretched hands, murmuring a thanks, and you sense that there are more words on the tip of her tongue. Questions, apologies, you donât know and you donât want to.Â
Turning on your heels, you escape into your own room, closing the door as quickly as you can before you collapse on your bed. Tears flood your eyes in time with the memories flooding your head, threatening to pull you under and drown you under their waves.Â
You hear their muffled voices through the door, but neither of them comes to disturb you. Youâre thankful for it, not needing anyone to witness you in this state. Eventually, you drift off into sleep, your mind gladly giving way to unconsciousness.
The following night is the first time that Joel has to shake you awake from a nightmare.
thank you for reading đ€ if you liked this, please consider reblogging, leaving a comment or sending an ask, it truly makes my day every single time!
#pedro pascal#joel miller x reader#joel miller#the last of us#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x you#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x female reader#pedrostories#janas fics#fic: safe and sound
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part 2 for that lando fic plzz đđ ill patiently wait đ„č
promises - 2 (ln4)
part 1 || lando reaches out to you, and you seek the closure you need (3898 words) a/n: this one is pretty long so take a break mid read if you need. i also spent SO LONG trying to find the right way to close this. if theres any feedback dont be afraid to share. || masterlist taglist/thanks for supporting lol: @unknownmystery22 @hlhl99 @landorris @aleatorio1234 @sopanngon @abq46 @notsoordinaryatlas @hadesnumber1daughter @milk-en-suggarrr @daemyratwst @artsucker12 @pancakes4nina @cmleitora @krishasworld @chicanecharm43381310
âLando?â You audibly spoke.
Your finger hovered over the notification for a few seconds as you stared blankly at the screen.Â
Why would he text you? And more specifically, why now?
You quickly sat back down on your couch, taking a deep breath and mentally preparing yourself. You didnât even know why you were so stressed about this.
You opened the notification and sat there as the app took what felt like forever to load into the DM.
landonorris: hi, remember me? hope you do :) iâm coming back this week, do you wanna meet up.
Oh. Oh.
You gave yourself a few seconds to process everything, placing your phone face down on the couch.Â
Lando Norris just DMed you.
The Lando Norris.Â
The Lando Norris who used to be friends with you
The Lando Norris who cut ties with you
âOkay.â You whispered to yourself as the air in your apartment grew tense. You picked your phone back up.
This was so stupid, why were you thinking so much about this? This was still that little kid at the playground who talked about taking over the world with a racing kart.
You stared at your phone, the message glowing on the screen back into your eyes. A small part of you wanted to be bitter, say no, reject him. For all the lost years that you two could've had, for the unfulfilled promises that he probably threw away in favour of his bigger ambitions.
You sighed. Deep down, nothing would ever come between you and Lando. You liked to believe you two would still be as close as you two were back then. Your emotions were feeling all too complex, all too messy.Â
You typed in your message and sent them as quickly as possible, before youâd second-think yourself.
hi lando. itâs been a while. iâd love to meet up again. send me the details.
You internally cringed at yourself before switching off your phone.Â
Now it was just you, and your thoughts.
You missed Lando but he made all those empty, bland, pointless promises only to ditch them all to fly towards his ambitions; and it took you forever but eventually, you came to peace with it.Â
It was probably the hardest thing you had to do, you couldnât just forget 10-ish years of friendship, some of your purest moments with Lando, your toughest and your wildest moments. You basically grew up with him, and watched him grow, and somehow now you had to live without it.
You never left the town you two grew up in, it never felt right to abandon your entire childhood. Never felt right to abandon Lando. So you stayed, you got your own apartment, your own job. You also visited the playground a few times a month, just for the feels, or when you desperately needed someone to talk to.
No one came close to Lando. Or rather, no one would ever come close to what Lando made you feel. If he was the standard, everyone else fell short.
Sometimes, when things got tough, youâd visit the playground again, sitting at the exact same spot and looking up at the moon, then everything would start flowing back in, all the wishes, the stinging feelings.
But anyway, Lando was gone and that was something that you couldnât change.Â
Your phone chimed again, snapping you out of your swirling thoughts, prompting you to pick your phone back up.
landonorris: iâm free this weekend so iâm coming back if thatâs okay landonorris: we have a lot of catching up to do.
You took a deep breath. It wasnât worth dwelling on the negatives, you could sort that out when he arrived. It was always better to talk about these things in person⊠right?
He sent you another message.
landonorris: and i have an apology to make
You froze. Oh shit.
You blinked a few times, concerned that your eyes were playing some trick on you.
They werenât.
You opened the DM on a slight impulse. Looking at the messages, you didnât really know what to reply.
iâm excited to see you againÂ
iâll pick you up at the airport
You settled on liking the message about an apology, at least he would know you werenât just conveniently ignoring it.
It took some time but it dawned on you the gravity of it all. It was years of disconnection that would culminate in a few days, and it would probably determine if this friendship would continue.
You never thought that one day youâd be messaging Lando again, let alone agreeing to meet up with him. It just felt so unreal, like you were in some sick fever dream, but it wasnât. This was real.
No normal person wouldâve done this, but you and Lando didnât have a normal relationship, it was both of your childhoods. So this made sense. Right?
It held something in your heart, because you wanted this to continue, you were still that child who never wanted to let Lando leave the airport and never come back. However, you also didnât know if this was right, more empty promises were only going to hurt you even more.
You took a deep breath.
You were ready for this.
â
You were, in fact, probably never ready for this. You couldnât mentally prepare yourself for this. How could you?
You were in the taxi on the way to the airport, as you stared at the chat messages. You had messaged each other back and forth for this whole week, nothing more than simple, surface level messages and the occasional âremember whenâ. Something always felt weird, pretending the years of no contact never existed.
You looked out the window as the giant buildings upon buildings graced your eyes. You hadnât been here in forever, not since Lando left. You never really needed to leave this place.
You held onto the gift you got for him, which were cookies, the ones your parents used to make for you and him. The ones he loved and always begged for more. You hoped he still liked them.
Around your neck was the necklace he gave you all those years ago, which you still kept by your bedside, just for old-times sake. You hoped he still had his one.
You exited the taxi and walked through the automatic doors of the airport. The gush of air conditioning rushed against your face as you stood there. It wasnât even peak season and the place was packed.Â
You double checked the gate which Lando sent you before making your way over there, gripping tightly onto the packet of cookies. You spent hours finding the perfect packaging for it, maybe you were a perfectionist, or maybe you just wanted it perfect for Lando.
You took some time, since the place had changed a lot since you last came here, but you found the gate. You leaned against a nearby pillar, holding onto your gift for him pretty tightly, almost creasing the packaging.Â
You waited patiently for him as your mind reminisced the last time you were here.
His tear stained eyes looking into yours as he hugged you tightly, promising to stay in touch. Then he turned around and left, looking back at you a few times as you couldnât bear to watch him go.
You dreamt about it a few times, and times where youâd run after him and not let him go, or where heâd stop, turn around and come back to you, choosing not to go. Then youâd wake up.
Now, it was really happening. You would watch him walk out the gates of the airport, not into them. He wouldnât disappear into the crowd, but heâd be running towards you. Hopefully.
You glanced up at the flight board.
LANDED
You pushed yourself up from leaning on the wall, straightening your posture, taking a deep breath as you waited behind the railings near the exit of the arrival hall. The minutes crept by slowly, your eyes kept darting around, constantly fiddling with your fingers.Â
This was real. You were about to see Lando again, after who knows how many years.
Your foot tapped against the marbled floor incessantly, and you felt your fingers tangling and untangling themselves as a large crowd of people flooded into the arrival hall. You felt your breathing grow shaky as the nervousness engulfed your beating heart.
With their luggages, people exited the arrival hall, running up to their family, giving them tight hugs, or those being gifted with flowers. You glanced over at them, smiling slightly at the pure joy that filled the area. As the seconds slowly crawled by, your heart rate increased, thumping hard against your ribcage, you could feel the vibrations around your body.Â
Why were you even nervous? You told yourself and closed your eyes, taking constant breaths in and out.
You opened your eyes slowly.
And there he was, in all his glory.
Lando Norris.
Landoâs curls had definitely gotten more curlier, and he grew himself a stubble, which you vividly remember him always being unable to. His face had grown more mature since the last time.Â
However, his eyes were still that same brown-blue glistening.
He looked over at you, finally noticing you as you zoned out just looking at him. He smiled, and made a subtle wave. He held his luggage in one hand, having a duffle bag strapped around the handles, and in his other was a black hoodie.
You snapped out of your daze and waved back at him. He picked up his walking speed, rolling his luggage over to the exit of the arrival hall, before snaking around the railing. He wasnât running, he was brisk walking over to you.
And now you two, were once again, face to face. It would never hurt less, just remembering the last time they were doing this, Lando would be turning away and walking off, disappearing for the next decade or so.
But that was last time. This was now.
Lando placed the hoodie onto the top of the duffle bag, opening his arms slightly. You stood there for a while, your eyes trailing all over Lando.
Then you released your emotions, you felt the tears slowly spill out as you sprinted into his arms, embracing him tightly. Your arms clasped around his body, keeping him in your embrace. You felt his arms slowly come around your body as well as he hugged you back.
You could hear some âawwâs in the background of it all but nothing mattered more than this.Â
It was years upon years of missing him, and now you had him. It took you two a few long long seconds before you pulled away from him, wiping away the remaining tears on your face. It was clear he cried a little too as he used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe his face.
âHi.â Lando said after a deep breath. His voice felt so much deeper, so much more different than last time. Only now do you catch his necklace, he remembered, he kept it with him, heâs wearing it.Â
Then once again, it felt like nothing ever stood between you two, like the sky could fall and you two would still stand with each other.
âLandoâŠâ You said, trying to sound confident but your voice faltered slightly.
You hand him the packet of cookies and he receives them with visible marvel. His hands felt soft against yours as he took the packet of cookies, placing them in his duffle bag.Â
âWell uhâŠthanks.â Lando said, rubbing the back of his neck, âMy hotel isnât ready for a few hours.â
âWe can talk later.â You blurted, âWe could eat first.â
He nodded.
The cab ride was silent, too silent for your liking. It made you think again, deeper this time. You genuinely missed Lando, sure you âmoved onâ but you could never replace Lando. You reminisced again, the same recurring dream you had for the first few months, when you didnât know if you could see Lando again. The same nightmare which haunted you when you two stopped talking for good.
Lando shuffled closer to you, which pulled you out of your thoughts. He yawned and looked at you, flashing a really subtle smile, running his hand through his curly hair.
He looked at you knowingly, like he knew all your thoughts right now. You smile back, hoping it doesnât come off as shaky and uncertain. His head slowly falls down towards your shoulder, and you donât stop him.
His head is now resting comfortably, hopefully, on your shoulder as he shifts even closer to you. You catch a glimpse at his face, itâs peaceful, like nothing in the world could hurt him, like when you two were kids. His breathing is constant, the rise and fall of his chest is tranquil.Â
â
As both of you wait outside the restaurant, Lando says, âActually, Iâm not hungry.âÂ
You turn to look at him.
âCould we maybe just⊠take a walk.â Lando suggests.
You shrug, you didnât mind anything.Â
âWith all your luggage?â You ask.
âYea, I donât really mind.â He says.
âSure.â You reply.
Both of you walk away from the restaurant, walking in some general direction.Â
And now, in the endless constant motion of the world, it gave both of you a moment, a moment to talk.
He takes a deep breath, fingers tapping on the handle of his luggage, âSorry.â His voice softens.
You nod, knowing you couldnât postpone this for much longer.
âI missed you.â You say after a pause, âI missed you a lot.â
Landoâs head drops as he wipes away what seems like tears.
âI knowâŠâ He says, his voice shaky, âI shouldnât have-â
This was a really bad place to have a breakdown, you tell yourself, even though you felt the growing urge in your body to just let everything loose.
âI canât stop thinking about how horrible it was.â Lando says, clearly he is letting himself loose, âI didnât mean to lose contact with you, I know that mustâve hurt you.â
You nod again, not really sure if you should respond to him.
âItâs been haunting.â He says, âIâm sorry.â
âI shouldnât⊠no, I should never have left you alone.â He says, âI made all these stupid promises to you which I never bothered keeping and⊠and it just⊠you didnât deserve any of that.â
Landoâs hands are slowly gripping harder and harder onto the necklace around his neck.Â
âYou basically grew up with me and⊠I shouldnât have let anything make me forget that.â He takes a deep breath, âBut I did, and I know I hurt you.â
You feel something warm bubbling in your body. It was so stupid, how all you needed was this moment, and it happened on a sidewalk of a randomly busy road. You shut your eyes and take it all in.
âAnd I know it took me too long to realise that, and Iâm sorry that it took me that long.â He says, his voice shaking as time went on, âIâm here now, and please⊠let me fix it.â
The silence for a few seconds prompts you to speak up.
You gently hold the hand that was gripping his necklace. You feel him loosen his grip.
âYou know, when we were still kids, you used to tell me how youâd take over the world and all thatâŠâ
Landoâs face darkens as he nods.
âAnd guess what,â You smile slightly, âYou did exactly that, and Iâm so⊠so⊠proud of you, and nothing will ever come between that.â
Tears brim in Lando's eyes and you donât know how much longer youâll last.
âI couldnât ask for anything better for you.â
Lando slowly falls into your embrace once again, you catch him and tightly hold onto him.
Between sobs, he says, âPlease⊠please Iâm sorry, Iâll fix everything.â
You gently pat his back, âYou donât have to fix anything.â
Sure you were bitter about him leaving you alone, but this was Lando, this was the same kid at the playground, and you would never forget that.
Because at the end of the day, you werenât mad at Lando, you never were, you just missed him. You missed knowing that Lando would be there for you, and that he would stay with you.
You spent all those years just wishing on something new, wondering where it all went wrong and where you went wrong. How all of this fits into the grand scheme of things in your endless dramatic cycle of your life.
The closure was here.
Lando kept holding onto you tightly.
âI promise.â He says, âFor real this time.â
For real.Â
Years of unfinished stories and failing to find closure in yourself and here it was, presenting itself in the open. You hug him back, and sob softly. You couldnât care less about what anyone else passing by was thinking. This was just about you and Lando.
âI think we should go somewhere.â You say.
He looks at you and he knows.
â
You sat on the ground next to him, the wooden base of the slide had been repainted. He leaned against you.Â
Those years which felt magnified because of your unhealed wounds suddenly felt so small. Only there to serve as a point in time to bring both of you closer to each other.
âI found no one. It was lonely out there.â Lando admits, âNo one came close, I was always trying to find something new, something fresh, but everything led me back toâŠâ
He fiddles with his necklace.
âYou.â
You feel everything coming into place, like the grey skies overlooking your life were finally moving over, letting the sun peek out from behind them. You closed your eyes and looked up into the sky.Â
This was it. This was everything. This was all you asked for.
Your recurring nightmare became insignificant. It didnât scare you anymore.
You shifted yourself so you were lying on the floor, which was probably dirty but it didnât matter. Lando positioned his head so it was laying on your chest, so he felt the restful rise and fall of your breathing, and you felt⊠at peace, for once.
âIâve been waiting...â You say, unable to finish your sentence as your voice cracks.
âAnd I wonât let you go, ever again.âÂ
â â â
And he was right. He never let go.
You and Lando spent the weekend, which felt like forever, to fix it. Lando spent it all to fix every scar, heal every wound and nurse every bruise he ever inflicted. He held onto you and never dropped you once, keeping his promise.
Lando took you out the whole weekend, rediscovering your stories, and your childhood. He kept you close, never leaving you. He rewrote the haunting past, making sure he never messed up this time.
The once unfinished chapter that stood high above you, the once daunting task was now closing, the final line was being written in the darkness of the years left alone. The emotional baggage was dropped in the past and the pages of your story stopped burning up.Â
Lando was here now.
You brought him out in the evening, taking him to his favourite spot, by the edge of a hill overlooking the city. You sat there with him, holding some Chinese takeout.
âYou forgive me?â He asks.
âYes.â You reply, âI do.â
âIâŠâ Lando hesitates, âYea⊠thatâs great.â His voice is unusually soft.
âYou knowâŠâ You inhale and exhale deeply, âI remember the night after I realised you werenât going to text back.â
Lando stiffens up, âSorry.â He mutters.
âItâs okay nowâŠâ You say before continuing, âI went to the playground and stood there while it rained, and wondered what I did wrong.â
You donât know whether right now was a good time for this but you started so you had to finish.
âNothing. You did nothing wrong.â Lando says as he looks into your eyes, âIt was all me who messed up.â
You pat his shoulder.
âYea⊠but back then, I felt like I didnât hold onto you enough, didnât work hard enough for you to stay. So⊠that was it for me.â You admit, âI wasnât ready to lose you so I cried that night, alone.â
You feel Landoâs guilt from a mile away.
âBut-â You lean backward, supporting yourself with your elbows, âtoday, when we went to the playground, I think we fixed that.â
Landoâs face brightens up as he lifts his head. He fixed something.
âI think⊠youâŠâ You couldnât find the words, âYouâre back.â
âI am.â Lando says, âAnd Iâll fix it all.â
In the night sky, you laid down next to him, on the ground. The hurting stopped, all that stopped today, in that playground where you two grew up, where you went to all those dark days, and where you left all the emotional baggage.
The skies illuminated the sky and reflected off Landoâs eyes. It was beautiful, he was beautiful. Under the bright sky and the night breeze, Lando was at peace with himself. So were you.
You scooted closer to him and he laid his head in your embrace, both of you laid in the grass. And right there was where everything felt alright, like nothing would change again. Just like when they were children.
Just like last time.
âI love you.â
â
The time had to come eventually. You were back at the airport.
You hugged him tightly once again, this moment felt no better than the last. The hug is laced with rewritten years of friendships and the closure of every dark page in your stories, to be happier, to be better. It was for everything and every minute you two lost now filled in with the memories of this weekend. This closure. He sobs on your shoulder, he never wants to let go.
But he has to. Both of you take a step back.Â
âIf it helps you.â You say, âYou fixed it.â
Lando wipes the tears away, giving you one of the purest smiles you think youâll ever see in your life.
âAnd for youâŠâ He says, âYouâll always be here.â He points to his heart.
âIâll never let you hurt again.â
You smile, embracing him again.
As heâs about to leave, you take the necklace off and hand it to him. He look at it, and hastily takes his one off, swapping your necklaces.
âTo rewritten love.â You say.
He nods and puts the necklace on.Â
âIâll see you around.â His voice cracks a little.
âPromise?â
He tears up again, âYes⊠Yes I promise.â
You look at his sparkly brown-blue eyes again, coming to peace with everything. As he enters the boarding gates, he looks back at you again, smiling slightly at you as he waves. You wave back, holding onto the necklace again.
He walks off, disappearing into the crowd once again but it doesnât feel empty this time. Itâs closure, itâs settlement, itâs resolution. You watch his plane take off, hearing the roar of the engine before it fades into nothing.
It was a promise.
A promise that you would keep, even as you moved out of this city, to another place. A promise that he would keep even as he reached greater heights.
Because a promise was made and a promise will be kept.
END.
i hope this hit expectations, i dont think there will be a part 3 lol
#f1#formula 1#formula one#f1 fandom#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x male reader#f1 x reader#f1 x female reader#f1 x you#f1 x y/n#y/n#f1 x gn reader#not beta read#not proofread#lando norris x you#lando norris x y/n#lando norris x reader#lando norris#ln4#ln4 x reader#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#mclaren#f1 angst#angst#lando norris angst#ln4 angst#f1 fluff
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Fresh Out The Slammer
pairing: Arthur Leclerc x Reader
summary: Maybe you have always loved the Leclerc boy you grew up with.
masterlist ttpd masterlist
________
You board the plane from America to Monaco, never happier to get away from your home and get to the Leclerc home. The flight seems to pass quickly since you sleep through most of it, and you are picked up by Arthur from the airport. You look different, more mature, more beautiful, but it was clear something was weighing on you from the months you were away.
"I missed you," Arthur hugs you, you hide the blush that covers your face. You aren't sure when your crush on your childhood best friend developed, but what you don't know is that Arthur harbored one for you too.
"I missed you too, 'Thur," you climb into the car, looking out the window on the familiar drive. After you told the Leclerc family you were arriving a month earlier than expected, Pascale had been asking your mother what happened to cause you to come early, but no one had been able to get you to talk.
"Come play on my stream with me, I'll let you use my sim," Charles begs once you get to the Leclerc home. Arthur had to go do something, and Pascale enlisted her middle child to drag you out of your room.
"Only because you offered your sim," you grumble, sliding on your shoes as you follow Charles to his car.
"We will be back for dinner, Maman," Charles calls to his mom. When you get to Charles's apartment, he quickly starts the stream and hands you a controller. After a couple hours of gaming and sim racing, he ends the stream.
"Okay, what's really going on. You're never that distant around Arthur and Maman," Charles asks, moving to sit across from you on the couch.
"Let me think of how to say it in French," you tell him, your brain switching to English for a moment. You only speak French or Italian when not in America or England. "My boyfriend cheated on me and we broke up a few months ago, just don't tell anyone," you say. Charles is basically your older brother.
"I'm sorry, do you want to talk about it? I promise it will stay between us," Charles gently offers. You throw your head back and sink into the couch a little.
"Things got rough. He couldn't -wouldn't- understand why I was always away for racing or training. Last summer was hard, when I got back in the fall things just got worse. Dinners were silent and we were just bitter. We fought more and more. I'd wake up in the middle of the night and he'd say her name in his dreams," you fight the tears back, wanting to power through.
"It's okay, you don't have to say more than you need to," Chales's hand rests on your shoulder.
"I was chained to the relationship. It was like one good hour cast a spell of hope that things might be okay, and the two years of working for the relationship would be worth it. I never thought I'd think of that relationship like jail," you let out a bit of a cynical laugh.
"It will be alright then, no? You did your time," Charles gives you a little grin, one that you return.
"Yeah, I'll be alright, just gotta get away from all of it," you reassure Charles.
"Alright, let's get back before we are left without dinner," Charles changes topics.
"Thanks," you really are grateful that Charles listened.
"I only have one question. Why haven't you talked to Arthur about it?" Charles asks as he buckles his seatbelt.
"I don't know. I guess I didn't want to prove him right that it was a toxic relationship," you know you are lying to yourself, and Charles knows it too, but he accepts your answer.
Dinner runs smoothly as you and the Leclercs catch up, you effortlessly skirt around the topic of your ex. Later that night you sit outside, lost in thought. Arthur watches you for a couple minutes before moving to sit beside you. Both of you don't say a word. Artur wraps an arm around you and you rest your head on his shoulder. He notices your tear-stained cheeks but still doesn't say a word, electing to wait for you to take the initiative.
"We broke up," you whisper after a few minutes. Arthur still says nothing, the only way you know he heard it is because his hand gently rubs your shoulder.
âI feel like I'm finally free from being locked up. I shouldn't be this happy yet this sad," you say after another minute of silence.
"You were too good for him anyway, he didn't even like racing, so he didn't understand what an amazing person you are, and how lucky he was," Arthur doesn't quite say 'I told you so', but he does try to bolster you.
"I know. You have said as much in our letters," you can't help the small grin that forms. You and Arthur write to each other when you are in America, despite texting it is a fun way to talk. It's expressive, intimate, every word chosen carefully. Sometimes you sent him the latest poetry you wrote, a hobby you picked up while travelling, and othertimes it was mundane life updates.
A week later, you and Arthur attend an F1 driver's preseason party. You are thankful that you look good as the cameras flash when you and Arthur trail behind Charles. Arthur has an arm wrapped protectively around your shoulders.
A couple dances and drinks later, you find yourself leaning against a rail on one of the clubs outside patios. You don't smoke, but you have a recent habit of lighting a cigarette and letting it burn, watching the ashes fall onto the ledge. You gather the ashes and brush them off as the Max Verstappen approaches. Charles introduced you to him once, but you didn't get to talk much, even though you are in the Red Bull Junior Team.
"May I?" He pulls out a pack of cigarettes, you hand him your lighter. With a nod of thanks as you light the cigarette, he takes a drag.
"I didn't realize Formula One champions smoked," you break the ice.
"I didn't realize future Formula Three champions did too," Max gives you a small smile.
"I don't, I just watch them burn," you shrug, eyes searching for Arthur in the crowd.
"Then I don't need to worry about Charles saying I'm a bad influence on his future sister-in-law," Max chuckles and you blush.
"It's not that obvious, is it?" you look at the older driver who also turns to look at you.
"No, but you and Arthur have looked at each other like that for years, since I met you. Good luck in Prema, you have a lot of potential," Max compliments you, snuffing the cigarette and tossing it to the ground. You mutter a thanks before following him in, looking for Arthur. You find him chatting, a smile on his face, making the butterflies in your stomach more noticeable to you.
"Want to dance, Arthur?" you hold out your hand. He quickly excuses himself from the group and joins you on the dance floor.
Arthur watched as you'd disappear from the house to walk to the local park, probably to write poetry. Sometimes Arthur would join you, sitting beside you on the swings as you wrote. At night when the house was quiet, he'd sit beside you and read, or watch a movie, listen to music, anything to keep you going and healing before the F4 season. What Arthur didn't know was all those nights were what fueled the poetry you wrote the next day. You kept them in a shoebox, hidden in the closet in your bedroom in the Leclerc home.
As the season starts, you stand at the starting line with Arthur, ready to take on your first F3 free practice. Charles gave both of you some advice, but he trusted the two of you and Prema.
You and Arthur both do well over the weekend, placing highly and spending time in your respective development teams' garages.
Something changes after that, natural flirting and seeking each other out. Once night, sometime between Australia and Imola, you kiss. The tension and build up started when you arrived in the winter, and something between you snapped. The two of you are at the starting line of something great.
You and Arthur were walking along the beach when it happened, a full moon, empty beach, the mediterranean waves crashing gently on the shore. He held your hand gently as you walked, physical touch being more and more common between you too.
âIâm glad that your ex broke up with you,â Arthur says out of the blue. You whip your head around to look at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Arthur lets go of your hand.
âBecause I can do this,â he whispers, bringing his hands up to cradle your face as he kisses you. You wrap your arms around his waist for stability and to bring him closer.
That moment changed everything. Heâd wait for you to get back from late night runs with hot chocolate and a cuddle. When you traveled with Prema for races, the two of you were inseparable, and you found yourself in the Ferrari garage a lot more than a Red Bull driver should.
Despite Charles inviting the two of you out after the races, you and Arthur go out with your group of friends in F3.
âYou are the American girl of my dreams,â Arthur tells you, lips close to your ear as you dance to the music.
âI love you,â you reply, âI think I always have,â Arthur pulls you impossibly closer to him, capturing you in a kiss.
âI love you too,â his smile brightens the dark club.
âGet a room you two,â your teammate yells at you. As Arthur drags you from the club, you make a silent promise to yourself that you wonât screw things up. Because maybe one day, you could see yourself marrying the Leclerc boy who looks at you like you are everything.
#f1 imagines#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#arthur leclerc#arthur leclerc x reader#arthur leclerc imagine#charles leclerc
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Thought Contagion
Bucky Barnes x reader
Summary: After a one night stand he ghosted you. When forced to talk, the lines slowly start to blur. Warnings/Tags: hurt, angst, fluff in the end, mentions of a one night stand, reader has the ability to communicate via thoughts and move objects Word count: 4.397 Authors note: I just love him. Do I need to say more? It's 4 am, and I'm dead. So this might make no sense at all, but hey I somehow managed to write this delusional on tiredness.
Dr. Raynor's office
The clock on the wall ticked steadily, almost matching your heartbeat.
"Did you dream of him again?" she wanted to know, eyes closely watching you.
"No, I haven't dreamt of him in a long time now... but he contacted me." you gave back, fingers interlocked, fumbling with each other.
"Did he call you? Text?"
"No, he contacted me through my thoughts."
"That he can do?"
"When the will is there, yes."
"There has to be a deep connection between you for him to do that."
"No... not anymore."
"So there was a connection."
"Was. It doesn't exist anymore."
"What happened between you two?"
"We slept with each other. And after he left without me noticing, I never heard of him again."
She nodded to herself, carefully considering what you told her.
"Do you have feelings for him?"
"I've had feelings for him for almost ten years now."
You knew it wasn't right, not like this. When you first saw him, it was at the museum, Steve telling you everything about him. How brave he was, courageous and caring. How he looked after Steve, when no one else was left.
You developed feelings for someone who didn't even exist anymore, at least that was what everyone thought.
Who would have known, that he was still alive, breathing and killing.
"Do you know him this long?" she asked, head tilted.
"No. I met him, after Steve brought him back. I was there, when they brought him to Wakanda and I visited him during his rehabilitation. Then, when Thanos blib'd us, he was gone. And after he returned a few months ago, it just happened. I don't know if it was frustration, after Steve left us, or what else it was, but we lost control for a moment."
"Control over what? Your feelings?"
"He doesn't have any feelings for me."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Why do you think he ghosted me?" you chuckled dryly, brows furrowed as you looked at her like she was an alien.
You had to bite your lip not to snarl at her, send biting words her way. She was only trying to help you, had been for a few months now.
But sometimes, she didn't seem to understand you.
"Maybe because he was scared? Didn't know how to handle his feelings?" she suggested, cocking a brow.
"No, James Barnes doesn't have such feelings - only sadness and anger." you told her, the bitter feeling of guilt stinging on your tongue.
"Was it these feelings, that led to him sleeping with you? His anger, his sadness?"
"A moment of weakness, nothing more."
She wrote something into her notebook, before she tapped her pen on the paper. "What did he want?"
"He wanted me to help him."
You flinched, when suddenly a sharp pain tore through your head.
What the hell?
"Y/N?"
You believed you heard a voice, one that sounded painfully familiar.
"Y/N?" There it was again, and you sighed shakily, feelings starting to mix in a dangerous cocktail. "James?" you answered in a thought, eyes closing, as you tried not to betray your feelings with a quiver of your voice.
It must have taken him a lot to contact you through your thoughts.
You were a telepath, able to communicate via thoughts, as well as moving objects through the air. But it took a lot of willpower, to contact you through your thoughts, especially when it was over such a great distance.
And by someone like James Buchanan Barnes.
"Oh thank god." you heard him mumble, as your belly churned.
After you've spent the night together and he left, you hadn't heard from him. Why would he contact you like that of all ways? Why contact you at all?
"What do you want?" you returned coldly, teeth gritted, as you sat up in bed. You were just about to sleep, already tucked under your covers, when he contacted you.
The anger bubbling up in your stomach made it hard for you to concentrate, but the curiosity was the slightest bit stronger.
"I need your help."
Eyes widening, you fumed. Hands clenched into fists, the books in the bookcase started to rattle, trinkets threatening to tumble over.
Oh, the nerve he had - he had to be fucking kidding you.
"You need my help?" you seethed, not able to contain the angry chuckle that escaped your lips. "You have to be kidding me."
It was silent for a few moments and you started to think he might have cut the connection, when you heard him sigh.
"I-" he started, but was cut off by another voice. "What are you doing?" you heard the voice ask - Sam. "Are you praying or something?"
You could basically hear Bucky's eyes roll in their sockets, as he sighed angrily. "No, I'm not." he retorted, scoffing. "I'm-" he cut himself off this time, most likely rubbing the stubble on his chin. "I'm talking to Y/N."
It was silent for another moment, before you heard Sam again. "How? Where's your phone? Or are you communicating through prayers?"
Rolling your eyes, you shook your head.
"Forgot that she can communicate via thought?" Bucky gave back, sounding fed up. "That's possible?" Sam sounded surprised. "Over this distance? What do you want from her anyways? Thought you guys aren't talking."
Cocking a brow you huffed, and you heard Bucky stutter incoherently, eventually finding his words. "No- I-I mean, yes. We need her help if we want to find them!"
"Find whom?" you wanted to know, scrambling for the laptop that was under your bed, flipping it open, despite your better judgement. "What happened anyways?" Sam questioned, his curiosity getting the best of him.
Since when were they teaming up?
"Did you hear about the group 'Flagsmashers'?" Bucky asked, focusing back on you. "Of course, do you think I live under a rock?" you scoffed in return.
He rolled his eyes, you swear he did.
"Well, they plan something big and we can't find them." he explained, ignoring Sam who was still demanding an answer. "We need satellite pictures or video or whatever. Sharon can't hack into them."
"Sharon?" you retorted, huffing. You hadn't seen her since she had to flee, now knowing why. She must have holed up wherever Sam and Bucky where. "What makes you think I have access to satellites wherever you are?"
He hesitated, as you grew impatient.
"And what exactly makes you think I'd help you?"
He must have been very desperate if he contacted you of all people.
"After all I thought we weren't talking?"
He was frustrated, you could tell. You could feel it seeping into your bones.
"They are killing dozens of innocent people!" he explained, anger and frustration filtering through his voice. "Could you please help us? I wouldn't ask if I had another option."
I wouldn't ask you of all people.
"Already on it." you mumbled, as you were already typing on your laptop, telling yourself you were doing this for the innocent people he mentioned, ignoring your aching heart.
The group he was talking about was all over the news lately, gathering more followers each day. They were a threat, and no matter how much you despised talking to Bucky, you knew you had to help them.
Going through the various pictures, you scanned them for the group. "Found 'em." you announced, zooming in on a picture.
"I'll send Sam the location."
Bucky made a noise like he wanted to protest, say something like 'Why not sent it to me?', but he must have remembered that you weren't talking.
"Thank you." you heard him mutter, before he abruptly cut the connection, leaving you wide awake.
Closing your eyes you tried to hold back the tears. It was pointless crying over him, you did for a while now.
It never changed anything for you.
But, as Bucky was forming a plan with Sam, he could hear it clear as day - the single sob that managed to spill, leaving him wondering if he really heard it, or if he just imagined it.
"Did you help him?" Dr. Raynor asked, brows furrowed. She as well had heard about the group of terrorists, and she had talked to Sam and Bucky not long ago.
"I had to." you retorted, huffing.
"Why? Because he asked you to?"
"Because it was the right thing to do."
"Because of this group they are trying to stop?"
"Yes."
She nodded to herself, biting her cheek.
"How do you feel about John Walker being the new Captain America?"
Your eyes snapped to hers, hands stopping their trembling. "Don't call him that."
"Why not? Doesn't he fit your expectations?"
You chuckled dryly, smirking at her. "My expectations?" you wanted to know, leaning forward with a cocked brow. "Steven Grant Rogers was my best friend. He was my anchor, and when he left, living a life in the past with Peggy Carter, he fulfilled his greatest wish. Do I hate him for leaving me behind? Yes, I do. But I support him and his decision nonetheless. He gave the shield to Sam, who gave it away. Who am I to have expectations, when my biggest hope of someone worthy stepping into these massive footprints has been so utterly disappointed?"
Her forehead creased in thought, tapping the pen on the notebook again. The sound was so familiar already, that you had started to ignore it a long time ago.
"John Walker is said to be a good man. Don't you think he will make a good replacement for Captain America?"
"He can be good all he wants, wear the medals he obtained with pride - but he'll never be like us. The Avengers, people that gave everything for others, never once thinking about ourselves. Did we get any medals when we stopped Thanos? When Tony undid the blib, sacrificing himself? No. My best friend - my sister - died, forcing my dad to forever feel guilty for not dying in her place. Can she be replaced? No. Just as Steve can't be replaced. But Sam was the best option to be the next Cap."
"You're dad?"
"Clint. He took me under his wing almost fifteen years ago. He's the dad I never had."
She nodded, scribbling something down again.
"Will you talk to him again?"
Your brows furrowed, remembering the conversation you had with your dad only this morning.
"James."
Sighing, you leaned back against the cushions again, crossing your arms over your chest.
"No."
"Why not?"
"Why not?" you repeated her words, anger bubbling up yet again, as your eyes widened in disbelieve. "James Buchanan Barnes ghosted me after we had sex, only contacting me to get my help. After that, he ghosted me again. And you're asking why not?"
She heaved a sigh, glancing at her watch only to see that she had another thirty minutes with you.
It wasn't that she didn't like you, but you reminded her of Bucky in your stubborn and deflective ways.
"Maybe you should." she spoke, tilting her head. "Talk to him, demand answers as to why exactly he ghosted you."
Scoffing, you stood, feeling the sudden urge to leave, get the hell out of there.
"Sit." she demanded sharply, the tapping of her pen coming to a halt.
Groaning, you did.
"Why don't you help them in trying to stop this group of terrorists for starters?" she suggested, leaning forwards on her elbows, that were resting on her thighs. "And maybe you can talk to him afterwards."
You laughed at her suggestion, declaring her insane.
But you couldn't deny the aching in your heart at the prospect.
You yearned for his touch, his scent, his voice. The way his fingertips ghosted over your skin, lips brushing over the shell of your ear as he whispered sweet nothings into it, hips connecting with yours over and over again.
Dr. Raynor smirked, like she was able to read your thoughts. She wasn't, though she still seemed to know exactly what you were thinking.
Cheeks reddening, you cleared your throat, deciding that you were in need of another topic.
"How was your weekend?"
____
You hated this.
Why exactly did she manage to convince you to follow them, again?
You were late, seeing as the whole scene was crowded, the Flagsmashers already captured, their leader dead. She was a young girl, barely old enough to drink legally.
You were standing at the rear of the ambulance, watching Sam and Bucky who were stood at the front, backs turned towards you. They didn't know you were there yet, talking to each other.
Your heart was thundering in your chest, and you were scared Bucky could hear it with his super soldier hearing.
You were contemplating if you should turn around and hurry the fuck out of there, but it was too late, when they turned instead, heading towards you.
They hadn't seen you yet, but when Sam looked up, his steps faltered, causing Bucky to look your way as well. He stopped dead in his tracks, jaw slack, before it clenched.
Sam hesitantly closed the distance, whilst Bucky was glued to the spot.
"Hey." he voiced, glancing back at the frozen super soldier. "I'll leave you to talk."
"What if I don't want to?"
"You should."
He patted you on the shoulder, before he left for someone that called out to him.
Your hands trembled, your whole body trembled, as you both stared at each other. Neither of you knew what to say, neither wanting to be the first to speak.
"Should have expected you to turn up here." he muttered, and you scoffed. "Believe me, I'm not here because I wanted to be." you retorted as equally cold, shoving your hands into the pockets of your jacket.
He cocked a brow, mimicking the movement, his arm reflecting the light. "Why are you here then?" he wanted to know, fighting the urge to lean against the ambulance.
He didn't want to come over as relaxed, because he definitely wasn't with you standing in front of him.
Not anymore.
He hadn't expected you to show up, he had hoped you wouldn't.
"I wanted to see if you need more help with the Flagsmashers." you explained, looking past him. "You already helped enough with the location." he returned, unwavering.
Nodding, you bit your lip, looking away.
He was shoving you away, again.
"Well, then I suppose I will go." you spoke, swallowing. "Should have expected not to be welcomed."
You didn't mean to say it out loud, really. It just slipped through somehow.
His brows furrowed, eyes narrowing. "Welcomed?" he asked, taking a step closer as his head tilted. "No one invited you. You didn't need to come."
Huffing, you nodded again.
"Well, and no one invited you." you retorted sharply, looking back up at him. "Yet you came as well, before you left without a word."
His jaw clenched, teeth gritted.
"But hey, lets not talk about it, its not worth mentioning anyways."
You wanted to scratch his ego, your own lying broken in a corner. It worked, as he took another step closer, head tilted. Lowering his voice, he spoke exactly what you were expecting him to.
"Didn't sound not 'worth mentioning' it, considering the way you cried my name out for everyone in the building to hear."
You shivered involuntarily, trying not to let him see, though.
He wasn't wrong, but you wouldn't have him know that.
"Really? Maybe I'm just a good actress."
He scoffed, chuckling dryly.
"Just as good as you're at sneaking out."
He fumed at your words, face hardening. His arm whirred quietly, so hard he must have been clenching his hands into fists.
You stared each other down, as your heart silently begged for you to stop. But you were caught in the moment, caught in your anger and hurt.
When neither of you said anything for a good minute, you shook your head and turned around, starting to walk away.
You should have known he wouldn't talk to you.
"Do you think it was easy?" he shouted after you, causing you to halt in your movement.
"Do you think it was easy? After everything that happened, being turned to dust, returning, only for Steve to leave me behind?"
You turned back around, scoffing. "He didn't leave only you." you reminded him, voice harsh. "He left Sam and I as well. He left us all behind, staying in the past to spend his life with Peggy - the only wish he ever had. He was selfish, yes, but he knew we'd manage."
He shook his head, biting his cheek.
"I failed him."
You couldn't help but laugh, frustration growing thicker. "Why do you think so?"
His eyes were glued to the floor, before he looked back up at you.
"I tried, but I didn't manage." he explained, taking a step closer, partly closing the distance you had created. "I spiraled downwards, losing control. I-" he cut himself off, eyes flitting to the sky above you, as he licked his lips, before he looked back at you.
"I lost the little ounce of control I had left when I let you in." he continued, shaking his head, as he bit down on his cheek, the sting momentarily distracting him from his raging heart. "When we- when we spent that night together, I panicked. I hadn't done something like that since the forties, and I didn't want to drag you down into the hole I was falling into."
You had to swallow, eyes stinging, even though you did your best to ignore it.
"And what about me?" you wanted to know, clearing your throat, as your voice quivered. "What about the hole I was falling into?"
His jaw ticked, and he swallowed.
When he didn't answer, you continued.
"You left me behind, in the moment I was the most vulnerable. I needed you, and you left - as well."
He shook his head, hand brushing through his hair. "You don't need me."
"I shouldn't need you." you corrected him, shaking your head with a frown, as you took a step closer. "When Steve first told me about you, showing me your picture at the museum I knew I was done for. Hell, when you stood in front of me, breathing and not dead, like you were believed to be, I thought I was dreaming. I envied Steve, because he made you sound like the best person on earth."
He scoffed, but didn't interrupt you further, eyes downcast.
"I wanted to get to know you, wanted to see if Steve was right." you continued, fighting a smile, losing. "He was, and when we spent more time together, I started to see what he saw. And then you turned into dust. The whole world tilted, for five years. You were gone, Sam, my dad and my whole family suddenly vanished. And when you returned I was so happy - only for you to leave me again. I know it probably didn't mean anything to you, but for me it did."
You breathed in shakily, stopping your own rambling, heart hammering in your chest, threatening to break through.
"You're wrong." he muttered, swallowing, as he locked eyes with you. "It did mean something to me - it meant the whole world to me. You didn't judge me, no matter what I did. You made me forget. You where there the whole time, accompanying me the whole way. But when Steve-" he choked on his breath, shaking his head with tears glistening in his eyes.
"I lost it. And I couldn't risk bringing you in harms way - my way. I didn't want to hurt you."
Sniffing, you bit on your cheek, almost drawing blood.
"But you did." you whispered, tears making your eyes burn, blurring your sight. "You did, when you pushed me away. You where the only constant I had left, and you pushed me away."
He nodded, sniffing as well. "I know, doll." he spoke, biting his lip. "I know."
Even though you felt a weight lift from your shoulders, it didn't feel as relieving as it should have. A tear fell, but you didn't brush it away.
You fell silent, lost in thought.
Somehow, you just confessed your feelings to him, stripped them bare for him to see. Leaving you even more vulnerable.
Your fingers tapped on your thigh in a nervous habit, wishing you could read Bucky's mind. Even though you were able to communicate via thought, you weren't actually able to read other peoples thoughts.
"Will you forgive me?" he suddenly rasped out, eyes staying a second longer on the ground, before they found yours, hope glistening in them. He sounded so broken, so vulnerable, like you never heard him before.
"Please, Y/N."
You swallowed at the nerves bubbling up, slowly starting to nod. "Yes, Bucky." you breathed out, sniffing. "Yes, I forgive you."
How were you supposed to stay angry at him, after what he just told you? After everything that had happened?
He breathed a sigh of relief, nodding to himself, as his eyes closed for a moment.
A tear slipped past his eyelashes, and he bit his lip. You had only seen him cry once, causing you to inhale shakily at the memory.
He wiped at the salty liquid, before his eyes opened again, his feet taking him closer to you, until he was as close as he was the last time you had seen him in person.
You could smell his familiar cologne, feel the heat his body radiated.
His flesh fingers hesitantly moved, brushing a few stray strands of hair out of your face, softly cupping your cheek. The action made you shiver, goosebumps covering your arms, as you leaned into his warm touch the slightest bit, eyes locked onto his blue ones.
"I'm so sorry, doll." he rasped out, eyes fighting to stay on yours. "I did what I thought was best for you, but I know now, that I was wrong. I'm having nightmares again, but I'm working on it. I'm working on everything, trying to get a bit of the old me back to life - the one Steve had told you all these stories about."
You knew about his nightmares, even though they were different now, thanks to the Dora Milaje who had managed to free him of the Winter Soldier state.
He didn't turn into him anymore, not for the briefest of moments. Something he would forever be grateful for.
"I'm an idiot." he mumbled, eyes leaving yours, his hand leaving your face, falling back at his side with his head downcast. "I never should have left - never should have let this happen. I should have listened to Dr. Raynor."
You cocked a brow at his words, head tilting to somehow meet his gaze. "What do you mean?"
He sighed heavily, swallowing, as his nerves got the best of him. "I mean that I should have talked to you, instead of just leaving you behind." he explained, tongue brushing over his lip, hesitating. "Should have told you how I feel."
You inhaled sharply, hands starting their nervous trembling at your sides again.
"What do you feel?" you managed to breathe out, and his eyes met yours again, the intensity of his gaze stealing your breath.
His lips parted, only for his tongue to wet them again. He searched for the right words, soon giving up and opting for the simpler option instead.
"I love you, Y/N."
Your breathing hitched, heart stumbling, before it doubled its speed.
"You're pure, soft and so lovingly." he continued, hands cupping your face. There the words were. "You never once judged me, not even in my darkest hours. You're the thing that kept me going, made me push through to get rid of the Winter Soldier. I wanted to be better - for you. But I fucked up, so badly. I fell into an old habit, pushing you away so you wouldn't get hurt, but instead I did exactly that: hurting you. And I'm a fucking coward for pushing you away, and not pulling you closer instead, now that I'm actually able to."
Words had left you, only tears managed to spill. He brushed them away with his thumbs, one cold and one warm, yet they were both so soft.
His eyes closed, forehead brushing yours. Your eyes fluttered closed as well, breathing him in.
"Working with Sam on this distracted me enough to forget it for a moment." he spoke quietly, leaving you to wonder how exactly that had happened. "But I was selfish when I contacted you, asking for help. I wanted to hear your voice, even if you would have just shouted at me, telling me to never talk to you again."
You bit your lip, more tears falling.
"I would have never." you told him, eyes squinting, even though they were already closed. "I love you too much."
His body moved abruptly, a sob breaking through his lips. It was one of relief and deep shame.
He nodded, his forehead leaving yours to press kisses to your face. Your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, until he finally met your lips with his own.
You tasted the salty remnants of your combined tears on your lips, but neither of you cared. Hands wrapping around his neck, brushing through his hair, you tugged him closer.
Something wet hit your cheek, but you couldn't tell if it were your tears, or his.
His hands on your cheeks tilted your head back, deepening the kiss. His tongue brushed yours, an action so soft it left you yearning for more.
When his lips left yours, you sighed, eyes slowly opening to meet his blue ones. His lips were kiss swollen, but so were yours.
"He took the shield." Bucky breathed out with shining eyes, fingers dancing through your hair. Nodding, you couldn't help but smile. "I know. Finally."
He chuckled quietly, before his lips connected with yours again.
"Now that this mission is complete, I'm all yours." he promised, forehead meeting yours again. "I won't ever do the mistake of pushing you away again, I promise."
You smiled, feeling the tears return, happy ones this time.
"I'm yours." he repeated, lips meeting your cheek. "I'm yours."
"I know." you returned, eyes fluttering closed.
"And I'm yours."
#marvel#marvel imagine#james barnes#james buchanan barnes#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x you#bucky#bucky barnes x reader#oneshot#imagine#winter soldier x reader#winter solider x reader#the winter soldier#winter soldier#bucky barnes
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SQH x Original Goods SQQ ;>
ooooooh wait, WAIT I have to think this one
Let's all pretend is not 4 am shhhh
I feel like OG SQQ would be attracted by SQH competence, like a game of cat and mouse or or OH WAIT I KNOW
------
The black and white pieces were carefully organized over the wooden board, the game paused as both peak lords took their time to consider the possible strategies. Shen Qingqiu had been the last one to make a move, capturing one of Shang Qinghua's stones, turning it between his fingers as he took the opportunity to observe the An Ding Peak Lord.
He didn't know how they ended up in this situation. If someone asked Shen Qingqiu when he had started observing Shang Qinghua, he had no exact answer. He knew it hadnât been during their Head Disciple days, then Shang Qinghua had blended so completely against the wall of yellow robes that Shen Qingqiu could barely remember him during his missions. His best bet would be one of the first meetings as peak lords, Yue Qingyuan still trying to organize twelve egotistical cultivators as each of them tried to grab more missions and more resources for their own peak.
Hah, he would have more luck shoving twelve cats in a bag.
But then, the An Ding Peak Lord stood up, slamming a pile of papers so high it had been a miracle it didnât fall all over their table.
"May I speak, Zhangmen-Shixiong?" Shang Qinghua had asked after a short but respectful bow, flipping his sleeves in a circular motion to wrap them around his arms in a graceful movement. The he proceeded to metaphorically and literally grab all of them by the scruff of their necks, organizing their speaking order, cutting their speeches short with a no nonsense "Thank you" every time they spoke beyond their scheduled time.
"We can stop here for today," Yue Qingyuan said with his brows slightly up, not able to hide his surprise when they finished things before dinner time. "Thank you, Shang-Shidi, for your help."
"Of course, Zhangmen-Shixiong," Shang Qinghua answered, but Shen Qingqiu could see his mind was already somewhere else, rushing to get to the door before anyone else.
Since then he couldn't help but keep an eye on yellow robes passing by, eager to hold the other for a conversation, to pick on his brain.
He blinked, coming back to his bamboo house by the soft sound of rustling silk and jade against wood as Shang Qinghua made his move, holding back a frown.
"Either play properly or leave," Shen Qingqiu said as he took another white stone from the board, putting it a bit too forcefully on his little pile on the table.
"Ah sorry, sorry, Shen-Shixiong, I'm having issues with a special ink shipment, and then Mu-shidi asked for a flower that I know he knows it only grows during winter and it's summer-"
"Stop blabling," he sighed as he looked up, glaring at his ceiling to pray to Heavens for patience. Last time he had lost his temper with Shang-shidi the man had vanished for weeks, leaving Shen Qingqiu without a decent Go player and a bad taste on his mouth. "I have no patience for your mental games today."
And as if by magic the man in front of him transformed, the suck up smile sliding from his face as Shang Qinghua straightened up his posture, the small man growing twice his size as broad shoulders filled his robes properly. "This one apologizes for testing Shen-Shixiong's patience," Then Shang Qinghua slowly twisted his head to the side, cracking his neck followed by a sigh. "I had to spend the morning dealing with Zhangmen-Shixiong, and you know how it is."
Shen Qingqiu let a bitter chuckle escape, sliding his fan open to hide half of his face, knowing full well how good his eyes looked over the painted paper.
"What? Sucking his dick isn't solving the problem?"
The effect was immediate. Shang Qinghua that had decided to take a sip of his tea almost chocked on it, gasping for air for a good minute, face so red one could think he had never written porn in his life.
Oh yes, Shen Qingqiu knew about his little stories too. Shang Qinghua wasn't the only one with spies all over the mountains.
"I- We- It's not-"
"Oh, spare me," Shen Qingqiu scoffed, lazily fanning himself, as he gave one last glance at the board, mourning their forgotten game. Shame, it was so difficult for them to meet up for a match. Of course Yue Qingyuan had to spoil even this for him. "You might be able to lie to those buffoons Wei Qingwei and Liu Qingge, but I have two perfectly functioning eyes. Also, there are so many late night meetings one must attend before it gets excessive."
It was good to see that red suited Shang Qinghua just as much as yellow. And Shen Qingqiu had to use all his will to not laugh as the other peak lord did his best to recompose himself, all in vain.
"My real question is... And I know I will regret the answer," Shen Qinggiu raised his hand to stop the new barrel of excuses so he could finish speaking. "How ih the all realms did that start. Did he offered you a holiday of some kind? Or maybe he wanted to thank you for dealing with Liu Qingge last stunt, Heavens knows you deserve a raise for that."
Again, Shen Qingqiu wasn't expecting a real answer. In fact, he wasn't expecting an answer at all, the way Shang Qinghua was blushing, the An Ding peak lord was about to faint or run away before Shen Qinggiu could snap his fan closed.
What he did get, however, was a muffled string of words, followed by a groan and a whine. Peharps he had hit the mark with one of his hypothesis? Now, things have gotten even more interesting.
"Speak plainly, Shidi, you know I can't stand mumbling."
"He complimented my hands!" Shang Qinghua squaked, his voice so high it had scared the poor birds on the garden.
There was a beat of silence as Shen Qingqiu waited for the rest of the explanation, barking a laugh when nothing came.
"That's it? Is it that easy to make you open your legs?"
"Oh shut up, Shixiong, you say that as if you wouldn't do it too!"
That, was crossing a line.
Shen Qingqiu never had to explain himself or his hatred for Yue Qingyuan to the other peak lord, it was if Shang Qinghua knew somehow that they shared a past. That was another thing that drove them together, the fact that Shang Qinghua was able to keep his mouth shut, even when he could use it for his own gain.
"Shixiong, I'm so sorry I-"
"Do tell," he interrupted what was for sure about to be an emotional moment for both of them, lips pressed thin in a frown, making sure to send his best murder glare to the man in front of him. "What compliment did our steemed Zhangmen-Shixiong could have used to conquer the slippery An Ding Peak Lord?"
He could see Shang Qinghua's brain working a way to escape the situation, his eyes darting left and right, checking all the exists of the small house. He could also see the moment Shang Qinghua had resigned himself to his fate, shrugging and waving his hands, buying himself time before answering:
"He said I had nimble fingers? And then I panicked and asked if he wanted to see how nimb they were or something, I don't remember and then, well, we, uh-"
"Well?"
"W-Well what?"
"How nimb they are?"
It finally clicked, Shang Qinghua's face going from embarassed to surprised, then interessed as he made a point of putting both hands on the table, slowly tapping his fingers on the top of it, the little tease.
"Would Shen-Shinxiong like to find out for himself?"
Shen Qingqiu felt his mouth drying as a shiver went up his spine. He wanted to scream at himself, to throw Shang Qinghua out of his house and hit him with the Go board on his way out, just out of spite.
On the other hand, he couldn't deny that Shang Qinghua was a handsome man when he put on some effort. Specially when he was commanding a room of peak lords, giving orders left and right, so sure of his information and knowledge that they had no other choice but follow.
How would that be...
"Follow me, Shidi," he got up in a measured movement, holding back his excitement as he guided them towards his room. Time to see if not only what those fingers could do, but also to put that smart mouth for better use than fumbling excuses.
And just as he had done many times before, Shang Qinghua surprised him once again, making Shen Qingqiu scare the birds with an entirely other type of screams.
------
This got,,,, Insanely long holy shit.
Also, it's kinda a continuation of the SQH/YQY ask?? dshiufhdsuifhui
I hope you liked!!! Thank you for the ask it was a blast to write it!!! :DDDD
#scum villian self saving system#svsss#shen jiu#shen qingqiu#shang qinghua#scumplane#yue qingyuan#SQH gotta catch them all#IT'S HIS WRITER RIGHTS#SQQ might have just become my fav to write he's so sassy and bitter I love him#idk how many words this has but I might post it on AO3??#oh god here we go with another fic aaaaaaaaa#also no proof reading we are winging this like Liu Shidi
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Hi!! If you still take requests could I request Hotch helping a fellow bau member after she tried to hide her ocd from him (like intrusive thoughts, counting and blinking hard etc not cleaning or contamination ocd)
Thanks! xoxo đ§Ąđ§Ą
Blink twice, tap four times, hold your breath and count to six | [A.H]
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x bau!gn!Reader | WC: 0.5k | CW: OCD | Summary: Hotch reasures reader when he notices their OCD being a little more frequent than usual |
You were certain youâd been subtle about it, always careful to keep your mindâs demands invisible. Blinking patterns, counting in repetitive loops, moving your fingers until they felt ârightâ â these things were all in the quiet spaces, hidden behind closed doors and the shuffle of paperwork. Or so you thought.
But Hotch was observant, maybe too observant for your own good. It started with small things: his brow creasing when you tapped your fingers on the table during briefings, his quiet gaze following when you seemed lost in thought, counting silently to bring calm. You brushed it off, certain he was just being his usual analytical self, until the day his concern broke through the usual boundaries he had set for himself.
It was late, everyone else had gone home for the night. Youâd been poring over files, a trail of cold coffee cups beside you, trying to distract yourself from the prickling anxiety that had settled in your mind since a particularly tough case. Then it happened again â blink twice, tap four times, hold your breath and count to six, over and over. You werenât sure how long youâd been repeating it, but when you looked up, Hotch was standing in the doorway to the conference room â You sometimes worked on your files in there to keep your mind on track.
âCan I come in?â he asked gently.
You cleared your throat, swallowing the reflexive answer to brush him off. âOf course.â
He entered, closing the door behind him, the soft click echoing in the quiet room. You half-expected a reprimand, a reminder to go home and rest, but his gaze was unusually soft, something between empathy and understanding.
âI noticed youâve been⊠distracted lately,â he began, his words careful. âMore than usual.â
The confession sat on the edge of your tongue, bitter and unwelcome. âItâs nothing. I just get⊠caught up sometimes.â
He nodded slowly as if weighing your answer. âWe all have our patterns,â he said, his voice low and calm. âBut if theyâre weighing on you, you donât have to hide them. Not from me.â
The words caught you off-guard. Your heart pounded, the intrusive thoughts flaring up in response to his kindness, an immediate discomfort in your chest at the vulnerability.
âHotch, I donât want anyone to think⊠that I canât handle this.â The admission tumbled out, quieter than youâd intended. âSometimes, my brain⊠it gets stuck in loops. It makes me repeat things to feel okay.â
He nodded as though heâd known it all along. âYouâre one of the most resilient agents I know. But you donât have to manage all of this alone.â He took a seat beside you, close enough that you could feel his presence. âIf something is weighing on you, I want you to tell me. I can help.â
There was a soothing rhythm to his words, one that almost matched the way you counted, but softer and kinder. You swallowed, fighting the wave of embarrassment that rose at the idea of admitting everything. But his hand, warm and steady, rested on yours.
âI donât think less of you,â he continued his voice barely a murmur. âIn fact, I have more respect for you than you realize. What youâre dealing with doesnât make you weak â it shows your strength.â
You closed your eyes, letting his words settle in your mind like stones sinking to the bottom of a pond.
âThank you,â you whispered, the words carrying all the gratitude you hadnât known you were holding.
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