#thank you to everyone who got something off my birthday wishlist

[iliothermia]

ohhg time to start planning some stained glass designs..

[pensat-i-fet]

Finding the perfect gift (Rúben Dias x Reader)

**Not much to say about this one, just a cute little request 😊 enjoy!! ❤️**

Word count: 1266

Masterlist

Wattpad

The news of Ines' pregnancy had made everyone happy, of course. But Rúben was probably the happiest of all of Bernardo's teammates. You could tell by the way he beamed whenever Ines called him Uncle Rúben and found it adorable. He was ready to spoil that baby as much as possible.

"We are invited to the baby shower", he announced one day when he came back from training.

"I would be more surprised if we weren't", you laughed. "When is it?"

"Next week. And I need to buy a present".

"Sure. I have a couple of things saved on my Amazon wishlist that we can order".

"But that would be your present. I have to get one that's mine".

That made you raise an eyebrow. "Pretty sure that, as a couple, we can get away with something that is from the both of us. You know, like we do for birthdays, Christmas, …".

"Yes, but it's Bernardo. Not a random teammate. So I want to make a bigger effort".

"Alright. I know what I'm ordering so go ahead and get something on your own".

He thought it would be so easy. It was just a baby, right? And his friends would appreciate anything he got for their child but…he just couldn’t find the right gift, at all.

“Can I see your Amazon account for a second?”, he asked you one day when he saw you ordering something.

“What for?”

“I ordered something from it once and I need to check one thing quickly if you don’t mind”.

“Sure”, you said, not thinking much about it. “Let me finish the order”.

When you were done, you passed the iPad to him, still logged into your account and he went to your wishlist right away but…there were no baby things! Your order history showed the clothes and toys you had bought for baby Silva but all the other things you were supposed to have saved on your wishlist were gone. You and your being an organization freak. It wasn’t the best time for that.

Rúben realised his mistake was probably wanting to buy the gift online. He couldn’t see the sizes or colours well so better to go to a shop. But once he was there, he was overwhelmed. One of the ladies who worked there tried to help him by showing him half the store but most of it just seemed like things the baby was probably going to get from everyone or just useless stuff.

When he got home that day, you were on the sofa reading a book and didn’t have time to say hello to him before he sat down dramatically.

“What’s that face for?”

"I give up", he said, placing his head on your stomach.

"You are giving football up? Come on, you are not that bad".

“The gift”, he said, voice muffled by the jumper you were wearing.

“What gift?”

“The baby’s”.

“You still don’t have one? Rúben, the baby shower is in two days. Just put your name on the cards I got for what I bought. It’ll be fine”.

He looked up at you, still not willing to give up.

“Maybe if we knew the sex of the baby, it’d be easier. It’s the parent’s fault”.

“Don’t be so old-fashioned, Rúben. Toys and colours are unisex”.

He groaned, hiding his face on your stomach again.

“Are you ready to ask for my help now?”, you said, trying not to laugh.

“I’m ready to beg for your help”.

“I quite like the idea of you begging”.

“Can we go to the shop now? Please?”

“Sure, there is one near, around the…”.

“Not that one”, he said, making you frown. “I was there now and I don’t want to embarrass myself more”.

After a 20-minute drive, since the baby shop near your place was now off-limits, you got to the one in a shopping centre.

"Ok, did you have any ideas of what you wanted to get? There are toys, clothes, things for the nursery, for their travel bag, …".

"Why are babies so complicated?"

You bit your lip trying not to laugh at his little tantrum. It was weird to see Rúben not in control of the situation. And it was very amusing too.

"Hi, can I help you?"

He turned hearing the voice of the shop assistant ready to reject her help but you interrupted.

"Yes, thank you. We needed a few things for a newborn".

"Oh, congratulations! You aren't even showing, when are you due?"

Rúben's pale face made you laugh. You couldn't help it.

"I'm not pregnant. It's for a friend. Her baby shower is in a few days and we wanted to get something cute for her baby".

"Of course, sorry. But you would make gorgeous babies. Just saying".

Rúben was now looking pensive.

"She isn't wrong".

"But babies are so complicated", you mocked him.

You put your hands on his shoulders to move him lower and kiss his frown before leading him to follow the shopping assistant that was ready to show you all the things you could buy and then some.

"This is one of our best baby bags. It has space for the diapers, the bottles and all that, but also an area for things the parents might want to carry. So there is no need for handbags or anything else".

"It's lovely", you said. "It almost looks like a normal handbag".

"She probably has one already", said Rúben, annoyed at how basic all the options were.

"Well, they'll be traveling a lot so it's good to have more than one".

He sighed and you took that as a sign to look for something else.

"Rúben, you don't like anything", you whispered to him and noticed his defeated face. "Thank you for your help. We'll think about all the options and come back for something".

"I just…I just want to do something original".

"How about you make your own gift?"

"How?"

"Well, there are all these new things like scrapbooks to write down all the first things the baby does. Or boxes to keep stuff to remember the pregnancy or whatever. I don't know. It was never good at arts and crafts so I went for something basic but useful", you said, shrugging.

Rúben's response was to grab your hand and lead you to another shop…an arts and crafts shop?

"You are always so literal", you laughed. But he finally had an idea. And you could tell how much his mood had improved.

Half an hour later, you left the shop with several bags full of boxes, pencils and other materials he needed for his gift.

And when you got home, it was time to get it all ready. You helped him, picking the colours that looked the cutest together and recommending what each little box could be for. Rúben used that time to teach you more Portuguese words, which he always loved doing.

"Done", he said, looking proud.

"Uncles trying to find the perfect gift for their nephews are so complicated".

                                    **

When you got to the baby shower, you left Rúben alone so you could join Ines and her family.

"Hey, can you take my gift somewhere else?", he asked Bernardo.

"Why? Just put it with the others".

"It's…fragile".

"What did you get?"

"I didn't get it, I made it".

Bernardo smiled at his friend, not surprised at all.

"That's the most Rúben thing I could imagine. Let me take it to our room. Ines and I will open it together later. I'm sure it'll be the best gift our baby got today".

[excelsior9173]

…

this is… a tough one. idk. it feels bad but i’m also at the point where it’s like, it is what it is, y’know?

my sister and i are very much the black sheep in the family as far as my dad’s side is concerned

and i think the worst part of that is that we didn’t do anything but be ourselves- dad’s family takes the fact that they never liked our mom out on us kids. we’re too much like her.

for me at least it’s always been subtle. i wasn’t always a problem, or undesirable. my sister had always had it harder, i gradually fell out of favour with them. i feel so distant when i visit, i’m close with my one cousin and that’s about it. everyone else sort of feel like strangers at this point. they’re getting bolder with their distaste too- try to veil it behind humour but it’s starting to get pretty blatant

i knew they’d poke fun at my colourful hair and facial piercing and i knew they’d hate it when i got tattoos (shocker- my grandma can barely bring herself to look at my ink) but the comments have gotten more blunt. convinced my cousin to get matching tattoos with me, she loves it and is planning more! my uncle has “jokingly” lectured me/confronted me about it three times now. like he’s trying to play it cool but is pissed that i have “corrupted” his precious daughter i think. he’s a control freak and i took that control away my grandma straight up flinched when i walked out of a camp bathroom in shorts and said “i’ll never get used to those tattoos”. like thanks, grandma, but i didn’t get them for you to enjoy them. all that shit is kind of water off a ducks back now, i expected those reactions, i was prepared for them. i don’t really care it’s honestly rather entertaining to me to see how much they’ll tie themselves in knots over choices i make for my own body.

the part that really made me realize i was falling out of favour as opposed to my cousin who can do no wrong in their eyes (i don’t hold it against her, i love her dearly and she was the closest thing i had to a sister growing up- until my sis transitioned) was my university convocation.

my cousin convocated last year, and i convocated in june. it was a whole big thing for my cousin! everyone came to see, we all took pictures with her, went out for a nice meal and had champagne to celebrate. my convocation? idk the family all came, we took a few pictures, went out and had lunch. they gave me their gifts and then everyone left- they had other plans to get to. i just- it felt like there was a lot less fanfare and celebration around it all. it was all “good job exie, but your cousin did it first and she has a grown up job related to her degree so 🤷‍♀️” they all ask my cousin how work is going, they ask her questions related to her degree, all that stuff. i get none of the same treatment. occasionally i’ll get asked something psych-related, but it always feels like they’re asking for the sake of being able to make a point. like i’m just a research engine and there’s no interest in my education. i genuinely wonder if any of them will even care once i get my next degree. it’s the same thing with holiday/birthday gifts. i feel like there’s thought and intent when they get gifts for my cousin, and for my sibling and i it’s just… random shit. the worst part is that my dad and aunt have asked for wishlists. my dad makes an attempt- his gifts are always thoughtful, last year he got me a heated sweater because i do dog walks in very cold weather. but the rest of his family? i got a mug and some froofy soaps and some kitschy novelty booze glasses (i have maybe a drink a month. except for new years and august long). even after they ask for a list :) i think i have become a stranger to them. my interests are so foreign and uncomfortable that they won’t even make an attempt at this point.

i kind of thought it would hurt more. realizing that i am not loved to the same extent as my cousin. that my sister, if they knew the truth, would be loved even less than i am now. but it doesn’t. i feel kind of numb to it. like i guess i knew this was inevitable. i would never be the perfect niece/grandkid. and i’m not saying it doesn’t hurt- it does, but it’s sort of like a long, old ache. it’s been hurting so gradually for so long that it’s sort of just a part of me. it doesn’t feel as bad as it is because i’m used to it. and that sucks to say. but it is what it is. i am not going to compromise any part of myself to earn the approval of people who can’t be bothered to even attempt to understand.

there’s more i wanted to say, or perhaps i wanted to say this all differently. idk. but that’s my rant tonight lol. family is great but it also fucking sucks.

[boldlyvoid]

Million Dollar Man | Chapter Five

18+

summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.

Content warnings: sugar daddy!spencer, age gaps (14 years), daddy kink, blow jobs, handcuffs, thigh fucking, public sex, exhibitionism, edging, vibrators, dirty talk, dom spencer

word count: 4.6K

a/n: updates on Wednesdays and Saturdays

Chapter Five | Masterlist

He’s ripped from a peaceful slumber by his work phone ringing on the night table. Y/N asleep on his chest, he tries to reach for it without waking her, successfully he answers with a groggy whisper, “hello?”

“Morning sleepy head?” Emily laughs, “it’s 10 am, Reid, why are you whispering?”

“I’m with my girlfriend, she’s still asleep,” he realizes he’s never told the team flat out that he was seeing someone, they all guessed but none of them had really asked.

“Oh,” Emily seems just as shocked that he said it. “We have a local case, I need you here for the geo profile and then you can go back to your mandated break.”

“I’ll be in, in 30,” he replies before hanging up.

“Can I come?” She whispers against him, obviously awake from all the commotion.

“Sure,” he shrugs, “if you don’t mind seeing and hearing about whatever horrific thing happened this time.”

“I don’t,” she sits up and stretches, “come on Mulder, we’ve got a case to crack.”

He laughs, “sure thing Scully.”

—

He’s nervous in the elevator on the way up to the BAU, Y/N on the other hand is so excited she’s practically vibrating. She’s dressed for the part, with her little visitor's badge and Spencer’s hand held tightly in her own, she basically drags him towards the bullpen when the doors open.

“Spence!” Luke calls for him, Tara and Matt turn around with big smiles to see him. “Who’s this?”

“Uh,” Spencer swallows sharply, “this is my girlfriend, Y/N this is Luke, Matt and Tara.”

She lets go of his hand to shake theirs, he watches as they all smile and introduce themselves to her, causing the rest of the team to notice the new person in the room and rush over. They have a lot of questions, they’re all very surprised she’s as young as he was when he started at the bureau and that he’s actually bringing her around.

When he finds out what’s going on, he’s really glad he brought her in. There’s been a few bomb threats in D.C, one of which is the building across from Y/N’s apartment. They’re trying to keep hysteria to a minimum, he knows he wouldn’t have been able to tell her if he didn’t bring her, he also knows he would have broken protocol to get her out of there.

She sits at his desk while he works, looking through all his things for a while before Spencer hears a familiar voice in the bullpen. Penelope was called in for backup, making eye contact with Y/N as soon as she walked in and cheering. “Oh! You’re here!”

Spencer leaves the briefing room, abandoning the geo-profile to introduce Penelope to the girl she helped him find, he runs down the stairs and wraps his arms around her.

“Spencer,” she relaxes into his embrace and holds him close, “I’ve missed you so much.”

When Spencer pulls away, the smile on his face is remarkable, “Penelope, this is Y/N,” he says her name and Penelope automatically knows who she is.

He told her right after he bought her whole Wishlist, Penelope has known about her the longest and yet she’s never been able to meet her. She turns to Y/N with a smile, “are you a hugger?”

Y/N stands and wraps her arms around her, “I think I owe you a very big thank you,” she whispers in Penelope’s ear.

“For what?”

“Teaching grandpa over here how to use the internet,” she teases him, “and for your helpful tips, he was the nicest one I met on there.”

“You’re very welcome,” Penelope pulls back with another smile, holding Y/N’s face in her hands, “and thank you.”

Y/N pulls her into another hug and now everyone is watching, Spencer knows he’s going to be bombarded with questions eventually but for now, Y/N is going with Penelope to her office and Spencer has a map to look at while he stresses himself out.

Matt, Tara and Emily head to the scene to join JJ, Rossi and Will, leaving Luke with Spencer in the briefing room.

“Can I ask?”

Spencer nods, “go ahead.”

“How did you meet her? Was she one of your students?”

He doesn’t know how to answer, not because he’s ashamed of it or of her, rather because he doesn’t know if she’ll want people to really know. “Penelope helped me get online to meet people, I made an account on a sugar daddy website thinking it would be easier to pay someone who doesn’t know me to hang out rather than try and make a new friend.”

“That’s smart,” Luke nods along as he listens. “She seems really cool.”

“She’s the best,” he smiles. “She’s really smart and talented, she’s an author actually, her books coming out in January.”

“I’ll have to get a copy,” Luke smiles right back.

“Her publisher and I have actually planned a big birthday party slash final draft party, if you and the team want to come and have drinks and get to know her more, that would be really nice,” Spencer offers, knowing it’s about time they all celebrated something together.

“I’d love to come, and I’ll bring Penelope,” Luke’s just as excited as he is.

“I’m a little surprised you didn’t know already, being with Penelope and everything?”

He shrugs, “we don’t talk about work or really gossip about the team now that she’s not working here, it makes her a little sad that she left but she’s doing a lot better just coming in occasionally.”

“I didn’t think I’d like my months off at first, either, but now I’m also debating leaving,” he knows it's a lie. He’s already written his letter of recognition, he’s just waiting for the go-ahead from Y/N that they’re moving to California.

“16 years is a really long time to be doing this job,” he agrees, “I’m sure if you wanted to leave the bureau would offer you your full retirement package early, given everything you’ve been through for this country.”

Spencer nods, “don’t let this job take your spark, you’re very wonderful, Luke, and I’d hate to see you lose it for the greater good.”

“My greater good is just down the hall,” he smirks, “I make the world a better place for the woman I love, she’s the reason I get up every day and come to work because I can’t wait to get home to her safely.”

Luke has always loved Penelope, it’s been very obvious, and yet she didn’t want really anything to do with him until Derek advised her to be nice. She was so busy thinking about all her other babies leaving the nest after Derek that she didn’t take the time to consider bringing in Luke to the nest for warmth and love as well.

“When are you asking her to marry you?”

Luke turns bashful, a slight blush on his cheeks as he stares at the table, “Christmas, it’s her favourite time of the year.”

“Have you talked to Derek?” Spencer only worries slightly, after what happened with Kevin he doesn’t want to see it happen to Luke.

“Nope, I’ve talked to her brothers though, we’re going to California again this year for Christmas and they all said they’d love to have me in the family,” Luke smiles, “the Garcias are my favourite.”

Spencer isn’t normally a hugger but he walks around the table and wraps Luke up, “I’m asking Y/N in a week.”

“No way?”

He nods, “she’s the greatest good I’m ever going to get.”

“Amen, brother.”

—

Penelope’s job was incredible, she was in awe as she watched her tap away at her keyboard and answer a million and one questions. She reminded her of Ned from Kim Possible and she knew if she said that to anyone she’d give away just how young she is.

She’s gotten a lot of looks, she knows people are talking about it and yet she doesn’t really care. There isn’t any malice behind the stares and the whispers, they all seem genuinely surprised that Spencer has a girlfriend over the fact she’s in her 20’s.

There’s a single dull moment and she turns to Y/N, “can I please have the juicy details, please,” she begs and it makes her feel giddy.

She’s never really had any girlfriends like this, and she certainly didn’t have anyone to tell about Spencer. “He’s the love of my life, I’m completely serious.”

Penelope squealed, “that’s all I’ve ever wanted for him, ugh this is so exciting! Are you guys serious? How long has it been?”

She nods, “not long, uh he got me this necklace a week or two ago and we’ve been moving pretty slow for his sake. In the last 10 months he’s become my bestie and I’ve convinced him to move in and he sleeps in my bed now and I love waking up beside him… he’s a real gentleman.”

“That’s good, he’s never been able to take the scenic route in life… I know you’re only here cause he trusts you and if he trusts you that means you know everything and if you know ever—“

“Yeah,” she cuts her off, “I know about all of it and everyone who’s hurt him and how he’s hurt himself but what’s more important is that it doesn’t phase me, he’s just a person trying to deal with the life he’s been given, we all are.”

Penelope wraps her up in a gentle hug, “he’s always needed someone like you.”

It makes her heartbreak just a tiny bit thinking about how as long he didn’t have anyone. Sure, he was surrounded by his friends at work and loved enough that they all brought him back home but he was never cared for the way she would have done it. There’s a weird maternal instinct that comes over her with Spencer and she knows exactly why, all she knows is she wants to love him and care for him for the rest of his life.

If she lives to be 100, she hopes he lives to be 116, because there isn’t a day she wants to spend on this earth where Spencer Reid isn’t alive and beside her.

She’s not going to cry in Penelope’s arms after just meeting her so she pulls back with a smile, “but what kind of juicy details are we talking? Cause I can’t embarrass him too bad…”

Penelope’s laugh is evil as she rubs her hands together, “a little birdie whose name rhymes with shmerek said he knows how to use that mouth for more than just talking…”

It makes her laugh almost a little too hard and she starts to feel her face heat up, she simply nods, “yeah, we haven’t gone all the way but from what’s happened so far, I can agree.”

Penelope turns in her rolling chair and laughs, “ugh that’s so great, I’m glad you’re having a good time— I mean I always thought Spencer would be good in bed after all the chats we’ve had about kinks and shit, he’s really educated, obviously, but I always knew that it would translate from paper to real-life very easily.”

“Oh totally,” she nods feverishly, “we talked about that before actually, virginity is simply a construct used to control women and make them feel pure or dirty, to feel like they can take something from a woman and yet virgins are so sexual and in tune with their needs and wants that they typically are good or at least know what to do from whatever porn they’ve consumed when it comes down to it. How the more in tune with someone's sexuality that they are the better they are in bed because they apply what they want to their partner and almost get off more on the fact someone is enjoying them than the fact they’re being pleasured.”

Penelope shakes her head with a loving smile, “you listen when he talks, you love every part of him and you’re beautiful… he really hit the jackpot.”

She brushes it off with a laugh, “I got pretty lucky with him too.”

Her phone rings before she can agree, answering with a cheerful tone, Spencer is on the other end, “do you have my beautiful girlfriend with you still?”

“Present,” she answers for herself, “are you still here, dad-Spence?”

She bites her lip and closes her eyes, fuck.

“Yeah, uh, I am, we think we got the actual building with the bomb, they’ve sent the team down there to clear it and check it out.”

“I’ll head back to the bullpen, then,” she stands and heads to the door, not wanting to face Penelope after almost calling him daddy right in front of her.

“Hey,” she calls to Y/N, “don’t be embarrassed. I get it, believe me, I’ve answered some calls in here with the dirtiest remarks to the completely wrong people. But, I’ll see you later?”

She smiles, “yeah, I’d love to see you again.”

In the bullpen, Spencer’s by his desk all alone. His teams cleared out and now it was just the office staff wandering around. She wraps her arms around his waist and rests her head on his back, “ready to go home?”

“Uh, not yet…” he turns to look at her, “I don’t want to bring you back to D.C unless the case is closed.” He looks nervous and she understands it perfectly.

“Okie Dokie, she smiles, leaning in for a hug to get close to his ear, “can we fuck in a storage closet to pass the time?”

He laughs but he takes her hand and he pretends to take her on a tour, he leads her down the hall and towards the filing room where he knows no one will be. “No one has really used this room in ages, since we went digital, and Penelope had all this stuff put online anyway.”

“So you can bend me over that table and rail me next time we come back?”

“Or?” She hears his playful tone and smirks to herself, letting him manhandle her hands behind her back as he bends her over a table, “I could fuck these big beautiful thighs of yours?”

“So only you can get off? Please,” She scoffs at him, wanting to piss him off to see where it gets her, wiggling her ass back against him as she does so.

He unbuttons her pants and drags them down her legs to leave her in just her thong, taking a handful of her ass and squeezing before laying a hard slap against her, she gasps at the feeling but also at the fact it was so loud.

“They’re going to hear you?!” She whispers with a disappointed tone.

“Isn’t that what you said you wanted? You wanted everyone to know only daddy can take care of you?” He uses her own words against her and she whines. “That’s what I thought.”

“No, but seriously,” she turns her head to look at him, “check my pocket.”

He does exactly that, finding one of her little bullet vibes in the front pocket of her jeans, “you planned this?”

“I knew we’d be having some kind of sex somewhere in this building,” she smirks. “Also my safe word is red but keep going.”

“Alrighty, then,” she can hear the smirk on his face as he thinks it over.

He takes his handcuffs out of his back pocket and cuffs her, “you know, it’s public indecency looking like this in here, technically it’s a federal offence and it’s my duty as a federal officer to make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

She swallows sharply, pushing back against his groin and gasping when her bare asscheek meets the cold metal of his gun in his holster. Sometimes she forgot he was a real FBI agent, sometimes it didn’t feel real to her because he was just her nerdy boyfriend and he never had any of his "cop props" with him… suddenly they weren’t just accessories to her anymore, he was actually a cop who just bent her over a table and cuffed her and now he’s going to fuck her "big beautiful thighs" as he called them.

“What’s the sentence, agent?” She plays along because damn he’s hot like this.

He presses his chest to her back as he leans in close to her ear, “It’s doctor, and you know that.”

He turns on the vibrator and rests it inside her underwear, right against her clit at the lowest setting, her thighs twitch at the feeling and all she wishes is that she had something to hold on to.

She whines again when she hears his belt buckle dangle and his zipper open, he grips his cock at the base and drags the head between her cheeks before slipping between her things with a sigh, “and it’s taking my time, you’re just going to have to, rather impatiently, deal with it.”

“Yes, doctor,” she closes her eyes and waits for the feeling of his cock between her legs but he doesn’t push in.

He places his feet on either side of hers so that she can't open her legs any further and finally, finally breaches her thighs. He groans at the drag of his cock against her skin as the vibrations from her panties continue to make her legs quake. She lets out a shaky breath and reaches for his shirt as he presses against her once more. Grabbing his tie instead, she pulls on it and he gasps for air.

“Sorry,” she mumbles with a smirk, not sorry at all for slightly choking him as she continues to hold his tie.

He swats her hands away from his tie and grips the cuffs to separate her hands, pushing them further up her back until it’s almost uncomfortable. The most uncomfortable thing about this was the fact he wasn’t inside of her, she felt so empty as she clenched around nothing. The stimulation on her clit was nice, the feeling of him taking her from behind is ungodly and yet he’s not in her. It’s the worst punishment in the whole world.

It was nowhere near enough to get her off and he knew that she wanted so much more that she wasn’t going to get, whining as he kept his thrusts at the same slow pace. It was agonizing, she squeezed her legs together more to tease him but he ended up liking it. There was nothing she could do for more, she was just going to have to let him take her, and that thought was what brought her closer.

“Please?” She begged, sounding just as desperate as she thought she would and not giving a single fuck.

“Please what?” He snaps his hips against her just a bit harder with each thrust.

She gasps again before biting her lip to hold back a moan, “finish in my mouth?” She begs once more, “please?”

He pulls off of her and yanks her off the table, turning her around, she drops to her knees without being told and opens her mouth immediately. He grips her by her hair and guides her towards his cock, slipping it past her lips and right down her throat.

He groans at the feeling, she closes her eyes for a moment to enjoy the feeling of his heavy cock in her mouth. Taking him more forcefully than ever before, he’s too caught up in the moment to realize he might be a little too rough but she also doesn’t mind. Breathing through her nose to stay calm she takes him as far as she can, pressing her nose to his pubes he can feel how hot her breath is as she struggles to breathe.

“Such a good girl,” he pulls her off so she can breathe for a moment, “you want my cum so bad don’t you?”

“Yes please, daddy,” she replies with a rasp in her voice that makes it obvious where he’s been.

She takes him in her mouth once more, sucking earnestly to get him closer and closer to the edge. He’s whining, pulling her hair and doing everything in his power not to thrust against her face, even though she’s okay with it.

She knows when he’s close because his cock always twitches in the same spot, it’s a tell-tale sign that he’s going to cum in a second. She applies more suction, running her tongue along the underside before taking him all the way once more just in time for him to cum right down her throat with each swallow.

He’s not quiet, anyone walking past the door will hear him panting and gasping, muttering good girl under his breath, he’s more fucked out by this blow job than she’s ever made him before. She can’t help but smirk as he pulls away and leaves her there on her knees, covered in spit and drool and unable to wipe her own mouth due to the fact she’s still fucking handcuffed.

She rests against his shoe, pressing the vibrator against her clit a little more, she twitches at how good it feels but it’s still not enough to get her off, and a part of her doesn’t want to.

He pulls her up to her feet and sits her down on the table he was just pretending to fuck her against. He attempts to spread her legs and get between them but she stops him, “leave the vibe where it is and let’s just go home?”

“You want to walk out of this building with a vibrator in your panties, and say goodbye to my co-workers and friends knowing you could cum anytime?”

She smirks, “yes, but I won't cum cause this pathetic toy isn’t as good at you.”

He clicks the button to turn it up a speed and she gasps, pushing against the feeling and moaning into it, “I’d like to see you try that.”

—

He takes her on the rest of the “tour” with that vibrator in her panties, she’s getting more and more flustered the more they look around. Eventually, he shows her the library, getting her alone in the back corner where he can talk to her without the risk of people knowing what’s going on.

“I can’t,” she whines as he presses her against the shelves, “please?”

“Please what?”

“Turn it off, daddy, I can’t take it anymore,” she grips his suit jacket tightly as she looks up at him with the eyes he can’t say no to.

“Mmm,” he hums, reaching into her pants to free her from the stimulation, she relaxes finally. “What do you think you deserve now?”

“Don’t wanna cum till we’re at home,” she whispers, “but you’ll have to make it quick because we have a flight to catch at 8.”

“Fuck,” he whispers like he forgot. “I hope we can get back into the apartment in time.”

“Why?”

“The bomb was in the basement of the building beside yours,” he admits and the whole facade fades, “that’s why I’m not taking you home yet.”

“That’s why you wanted to fuck me,” she whispers with a giggle. “You could have at least told me this was a ‘you almost died’ rush for you.”

“I didn’t want to say it like that,” he admits and a depression washes through his blood, he feels the low settle as he drops, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she takes his face in her hands and makes him look her in the eyes, “I love you, I’m glad we’re both safe. Everything in there is replaceable, you and me aren’t. This is a really good thing, Spencer.”

He nods, doing what she’s told him so many times she wants him to do, telling her his thoughts so that he’s no longer haunted alone, “when I told my friend Derek about you, he said dating a younger woman means I’ll never have to worry about you dying of old age before me. That’s one of his fears being the same age as Savannah, but I’ve lost so many people I never even thought about getting old with you I’ve just wanted to keep this version of you safe and with me forever.”

“Penelope said she always wished you’d find someone like me, and my only thought was If I live to be 100, I hope you live to be 116 because there isn’t a day I want to spend on this earth where Spencer Reid isn’t alive and beside me,” he whispers with a smile, “but now I’m thinking if you live to be 100, I don’t want to go past 84.”

“You can’t say that,” he whispers, tears bubbling in his eyes, “what if I die tomorrow? I need to know you’re going to be fine and not end your wonderful existence because I’m not here anymore. You’re too wonderful to put all your worth on me.”

She doesn’t want to cry, she already looks like she’s been fucked and now she’s a mess, she pulls him into a kiss so he’ll stop talking and they can just be together, it was hard enough for her thinking he was going to die eventually, let alone him hypothesizing dying tomorrow.

She rests her forehead against his, “we always do this.”

“What?”

“It’s like orgasms open the emotions or something,” she snuffles which turns into a laugh, “do you think our kids are going to find it weird that you’re so much older than me?”

Everything takes him for a loop, “uh,” he struggles to find the words, pulling back and looking at her as her face drops, “I um—

“You don’t want kids anymore?” She looks genuinely saddened and he doesn’t know how to answer.

“I do,” he nods, “just—“

“Not with me?” She puts the words in his mouth.

“With you, just not yet,” he holds her by the shoulders, “I need more time with you before we have a kid, I need to love life and be in a good place and somewhere where I can focus all my attention on them, and I can’t yet.”

“I want a baby by 30,” she whispers before pressing her lips together awkwardly, “46 isn’t too old to be a dad, I’ve seen men become fathers at 80.”

He laughs as the anxiety leaves him, “a little California surfer baby wouldn’t be too bad.”

“Well, we fuck like rabbits, we might get there sooner than you planned,” she nudges him, “you’re a wonderful boyfriend, and if you don’t mind, I’d like for you to stay my boyfriend for a little longer? I’m not ready to be a wife or a mom and change my name when I just got it put on a published book.”

“I’ll change mine to yours,” he replies like it's nothing, “or keep yours and we’ll hyphenate the kid's names.”

“It’s plural now?” She teases him once more.

“Whatever you want, I’ll give it to you,” he assures her, “forever.”

“You’d pluck a star from the sky for me wouldn’t you, Doctor Y/L/N?”

He laughs at how it sounds but he kinda likes it. Her word choice is even funnier to him, however, because he’s actually gone out of his way to pluck a star for her. She has no idea, but her last present is a big one.

She struggled to get her own name on a book for so long, now there’s a star named after her, in the sky for everyone to see for the rest of time.

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[bts-reveries]

wishlist

characters: Yoongi x OC!Sohyun and Hana [ft. Yuna and Hoseok, mentions Huimang, Hana’s friends, and Taehyung(the group as well)]

genre: family and fluff

request: [anon] Hi there! My suggestion for the drabble series is maybe Hana puts down getting a baby brother/sister on her birthday wish list, and neither she nor Yoongi knows that Sohyun is already pregnant, so Sohyun gets to surprise her husband and daughter? 💛

a/n: hana is turning eight here (WEIRD.) i know it’s a big age gap, but she turned four in daddy diaries and she was seven by the end of the tmbmil series asdfghjkl this is assuming jungkook and rina got married right after taeyang was born and yoongi proposed right after their wedding and then got married in a few months and then hana’s birthday rolls around after and sohyun is already pregnant by then : D also my sister and i are seven years apart so it’s not tHaT bad~

➳➳➳➳➳➳➳

Hana’s birthday was nearing and it was always a special time for the couple. 

Not only is it almost their daughter’s special day, but also the anniversary of the first time they met and the anniversary of the bakery’s opening. 

Hana was only three when she came crashing into the grand opening of 24/7 Heaven, meeting Sohyun for the very first time. She was looking for the perfect birthday cake then. Now, four years later, the bakery owner became Hana’s mom and the wife of her dad. Yoongi and Sohyun got married not too long ago. 

He proposed to her in the most perfect way actually.

A cake, made by him and Hana, with the words ‘will you marry me’ written on top. 

So it was a special time. It’s their first meet-aversary as a married couple. The bakery was having an event for it’s fourth birthday. And of course, it was the start of getting Hana’s wishlist checked off.

As always, she had the general wishes.

As she got older, they started to change more and more. 

“Have you done your list yet?” Yoongi asks his daughter, peeking into her room. Hana scrambles out of her bed, where she was reading a book, and goes over to her desk.

“I finished it last night, I forgot to give it to you,” she said, pulling out the list from under her other books. “Here you go daddy. Do you and mommy need any help for the bakery’s fourth birthday by the way?” Yoongi was happy to know that as she grew up, she got sweeter and sweeter. 

Maybe it’s the effects of being in a bakery almost 24/7.

“Yes, mommy and I will need help later, but we’ll call you out then. For now, mommy and I will be looking at this,” he says, holding the list up. Hana smiles up at her dad, giving him an ‘okay’ sign. 

Yoongi turns and walks out the door, already scanning the list. 

“Why do you have that look on your face?” Sohyun asks her husband, watching him frown at Hana’s wishlist. Sohyun was on her laptop on the couch, ordering last minute party supplies for Hana’s birthday.

“She wants to invite boys from her class,” Yoongi says, looking up at his wife who starts to laugh at him. 

“Let me see,” she says, reaching out her hand for the paper. Yoongi hands it to her as he sits next to her. 

“It says: invite friends.” She turns to Yoongi with one eyebrow raised. “It didn’t specify whether it was all girls, all boys, or both.”

“Assuming it’s both, I’m sure her boyfriend is in there. She wouldn’t just write ‘invite Taeoh’,” he huffs. 

“Even if it did, you’d still invite him because it’s on your princess’ wishlist,” Sohyun says, knowing she was right. 

“I guess. Let’s look through it and see if we can get some done today. I’ll ask her for the names and make the invitations later.”

“Sounds good. Now let’s see,” Sohyun says, humming as she goes down the list. “Typical Hana, a lot of this is her general wishes. Party, perfect cake, all her friends and family~”

“There’s a back side!” Hana yells from her room. Both her parents look up, turning the paper around and their eyes widen. 

“Baby brother (or sister! That’s okay too)” 

“Hmm,” Yoongi says. “Well that’s a hard one.” Sohyun laughs nervously.

Little did they know.

That’s already one check done off of the list. 

It wasn’t too long ago that Sohyun found out that she was expecting. She figured that it would be perfect to announce it to both Yoongi and Hana on the night of her birthday. Once everyone’s gone and right when Hana thinks the presents have stopped coming.

- hana’s birthday -

“Is that the kid?” Hoseok asks, watching a little boy hand Hana a gift. Yoongi glares at them.

“Mhm,” he says. 

“Thank you Taeoh,” Hana says, taking the gift her friend was giving her. Boyfriend as Yoongi says. 

Hoseok laughs at his hyung, but that smile quickly drops when he sees his own daughter standing next to her boyfriend. Huimang and Hana take taekwondo together and share the same friends. Which is why her ‘boyfriend’ was also at Hana’s party. 

“You boys okay?” Sohyun asks, raising an eyebrow at the two. They both look away from their daughters. 

“Fine, why do you ask?” Yoongi says, giving her a close lip smile. Sohyun laughs at the both of them, turning to look at their daughters.

“They’re just kids, don’t worry,” she says. “It’s just a baby crush.”

“Speaking of babies,” Hoseok says, suddenly remembering what Yoongi had told the boys previously. He mentioned to them about Hana’s birthday wishlist. About how this might be the first year he fails giving her everything. 

Well, until the boys reminded him that four years ago when Hana wrote mommy on her list and he ended up breaking up with Sohyun.

That was something.

“What are you two telling Hana,” Hoseok says with a small laugh. “Should’ve told her to give you the wishlist 9 months ago.”

Yoongi sighs. “I know, I should’ve expected it. She’s been asking for one for so long.”

“I’m sure she’ll be understanding,” Sohyun says, trying hard to conceal her smile. She was pretty excited for the party to be over so she can spend some quality time with her family.

-

“Hey!” Yuna calls, rushing over to Sohyun and giving her a hug. “You’re telling them today, right?” She whispers, glancing down at her stomach. Yuna knew about Sohyun being pregnant.

Actually, all the girls did.

Only because Sohyun threw up at their mommy hangout and the girls had a feeling and told her to take a pregnancy test. 

It was Sohyun’s first test and she was nervous. So of course the girls all helped her out and taught her how to use one. It ended with all of them screaming three minutes later and Sohyun sobbing with tears of joy.

“Yes, tonight right before her birthday ends,” Sohyun answers. “I’m like 95% excited and 5% nervous.”

“Ah!! I’m so excited, tell us everything after,” Yuna says, holding onto Sohyun's arms tightly. Sohyun laughs, nodding her head.

“I will, definitely.”

-

“So, did you enjoy your birthday?” Yoongi asks Hana, laying in her bed. No matter how old she turns, Yoongi promised to give her birthday cuddles before she slept. Hana cuddles into her dad’s side. 

“Yeah, it was fun,” Hana says sleepily. It was nearing midnight, just about 10 minutes before. The group had stayed longer than everyone else (of course). Hana played with her cousins and was given extra hugs and kisses from her aunt and uncles before they left. Even Taehyung was crying, not wanting to let her go because, in his exact words: ‘Aigoo, you guys growing up is making me feel so old, I'm so sad. How are you already eight?’

“I’m sorry we didn’t get to check off everything on your list,” Yoongi tells her, rubbing her arm. He hugged her tightly, pressing his cheek to her head. As much as he just wanted to fulfill all of her wishes, he wanted Hana to have a sibling as much as she wanted one. 

“It’s okay, I still loved everything you gave me. I’d be happy with anything,” Hana tells him, looking up at her dad with a smile on her face. Yoongi pouts, raising his hand up to caress her cheeks. 

“How are you the sweetest girl ever?”

“Knock knock,” Sohyun says, peeking her head into the room. “Can I join?” The two smile up at her, motioning for her to come in. Sohyun reveals herself,  holding a cupcake with a lit candle on top. 

“Oh?” Hana says, sitting up in surprise. She smiles widely as she stares at the cupcake. 

“Another candle to blow?” Yoongi asks. His wife nods, careful sitting beside her daughter. 

“Your birthday ends in like 5 minutes. Is there one thing you really wanted today that you didn’t get?” Sohyun asks Hana. She knew what wish she would make. Hana looks up at her and nods. 

“Okay make the wish then,” Sohyun says. Hana closes her eyes, intertwining her fingers in front of her.

She whispers quietly.

“I wish I could have a little brother or sister.”

It was just loud enough for her parents to hear. Yoongi looks up at Sohyun as Hana blows the candle. 

“Done?” Sohyun asks. Hana nods and Sohyun puts the cupcake on her side table, turning back to her two loves. 

“So that completes everything from the list right?” Sohyun says, looking back at the two. Both Yoongi and Hana looked at her confused. 

“Oh didn’t I tell you two?” Sohyun says with a smile that she could no longer contain. “I’m pregnant.”

Yoongi’s eyes grew big and Hana smiled so wide, her cheeks turned pink. 

“Mommy you’re pregnant?” Hana repeats, putting her hand gently on her mom’s tummy. Sohyun nods, putting her hand over hers. She looks up at Yoongi and laughs.

“Are you okay, hun?” She says, reaching out and pushing his hair back. 

Yoongi’s face broke into a smile.

“Are you serious? Are you really pregnant?” Yoongi asks, hesitantly putting his hand on her tummy as well. 

“Yeah, I found out about three weeks ago,” Sohyun laughs. “I figured I’d surprise you two before midnight.” 

“You did it, you completed my wishes,” Hana laughs, leaning onto her mom and hugging her tightly. Yoongi couldn’t stop smiling as he joined in the hug, wrapping his arms tightly around his two girls. 

At that moment, the clock struck 12 and Hana’s birthday was over. 

They couldn’t help but think that at this time, next year, there'll be another person included in this hug. 

[puckinghell]

11:11 | Carter Hart

Summary: Hockey players are a little superstitious, so wishing on shooting stars, rainbows and dropped penny’s isn’t a rare occurrence. Normally, they’re wishing for things like wins and awards and cups, but Carter has a little something else on his wishlist.  Words: 2,5k Note: based on the song 11:11 by Jae Jin which is the cutest songs I’ve ever heard. Note 2.0: This has been sitting in my concepts for over a year cause I just don’t love it but I like it too much to throw it away, so I finally decided to just post it and be done with it. Hope you guys like it anyway!

---

It’s a well known fact that hockey players are superstitious. 

It’s a better known fact that hockey goalies are stupidly superstitious. 

So far, Carter has been trying to break the stigma, and he’s pretty damn good at it, thank you very much. He doesn’t care if he puts on his left or right skate first, he doesn’t have to turn the shower on and off twice, there’s no pregame meal better than others. Winning games depends on how well he’s playing, not on setting his alarm at 4:32 when he takes his pregame nap.

Carter isn’t superstitious, but he is a little stitious - and he’s watched The Office way too many times, clearly. There’s just one thing he can be superstitious about. Only one thing. 

You.

---

You’ve been sitting on your porch, sketchbook in hand, drawing your neighbor’s dog. He’s big and black and at 11 years old, you’re not really sure if you’re supposed to be scared of him. He looks a bit scary, but he’s never done anything bad, and your parents don’t seem to mind him.

It’s hot outside. Too hot, really, to be outside your air conditioned living room, but your brothers are yelling inside and you just wanted some peace and quiet.

Some peace and quiet, and to stare at the boy next door. 

He’s a little older than you, a lot taller too, and he’s always intimidated you a bit. Sometimes he hangs out with your brothers, who are older too, but today he’s with some boys from around the neighborhood. 

They’re playing street hockey, like they usually are. You like watching them play; it’s such a fun game to watch, and you really wish you could try it, see if it’s fun to play too.

But your brothers always tell you to go away, and you’ve not had the guts to ask Carter. That’s the boy next door’s name; you heard it one time when his mom called him in for dinner. 

You’re focused on where the dog’s ears meet his head - on your paper it doesn’t quite look right - when something goes flying past your head.

“Duck!” you hear someone yell, but you’d already ducked in reflex. A plastic ball comes zooming past your ear, hits the wall behind you and bounces back; it rolls past your feet and ends up in front of somebody else’s.

“Are you okay?” the same voice asks, a little worried, and when you look up it’s Carter staring at you with wide eyes. “Did he hit you?” 

It takes a while for his words to synch into your brain, but then you shake your head. “No, he didn’t.”

Carter smiles, at that. “I’m sorry,” he says, “I’ve told Alex his aim is so bad he shouldn’t be allowed to play in public, but he didn’t believe me.” 

The other guy, Alex you presume, comes running over, his hockey stick still in his hands. “Shit, sorry,” he says, and you’re pretty sure you’re not allowed to say that word but you don’t mention it. 

“It’s okay,” you say instead. “You didn’t hit me.” 

“Maybe keep an eye on the clock,” says Carter to his friend. “If it’s 11:11, you can wish to actually hit the target, some time.” 

“If you catch 11:11 you can wish to actually make a save,” Alex shoots back.

“If I caught 11:11 I would wish for you to shut up,” Carter snaps back and that’s when you giggle.

Instantly, both the boys turn to you. Carter is grinning at you, a wide and happy grin that makes it impossible for you not to grin back. “What would you wish for, if you caught 11:11?” he asks.

You know the answer; it’s right there on the tip of your tongue and it tumbles out with thinking, words filled with earnest honesty like only those of a kid can be.

“I would wish that I could play hockey.” 

The boy in front of you smiles, yanks the hockey stick out of his friend’s hands and extends it in your direction.

“Come play,” he says. “It’s not like you could be any worse than Alex, anyway.” 

And under loud protest of Alex, a new friendship is born. 

---

Your 16th birthday party is crazy exactly the way 16th birthday parties are supposed to be, with beers snuck into the kitchen as your parents go away for the night, telling you again and again that you can always call them if you need them, even if you think they’ll be mad.

There’s loud music everywhere, and people; you don’t even know half of them, but your brothers promised you they’d make it a party to remember and they’ve kept their promise.

The thing is, well, you’re not the biggest fan of parties, actually. You thought it would be cool, would be like in the movies and you’d feel all grown up and cool, but instead you feel a bit lost, with the noise of the people too loud and their drunken dancing having you worried about your parents furniture.

You also found out you really don’t like beer. 

You get a Pepsi from the fridge, where some friend of your brother’s is mixing some of your dad’s rum into a bottle of Sprite - it doesn’t seem like a good match, but then again, you’ve never tasted rum - while your brother is eating cheese straight from the packet. 

It’s all a bit too much, too sudden, and you find yourself yearning for some peace and quiet, some familiarity.

You make your way to the back yard; it’s quiet, there, the October air a little too cold for your guests, and you sit down on the porch, wrapping your arms around your knees.

The music booms through the walls and you can still hear people screaming, but it sounds more muffled, and it allows you to breathe.

Almost immediately after you sit down, you hear the creak of the backdoor and footsteps against the wood of the porch, and then a familiar body sits next to you, smelling like foresty cologne and floral laundry detergent. 

“Hey,” Carter says softly, smiling at you when you gaze up at him. “You okay?” 

“Yeah, just needed some quiet.” You take a deep breath. “It’s a bit too much, I guess.” 

Carter is your best friend; has been, for years, and you would trust him with literally anything, so you don’t hesitate, telling him the truth. You don’t think there’s anything you’ve not told him the truth on.

Except when he asked you why you never said yes to the boys asking you out on dates.

First, you’d tried to dodge, told him you never got asked, but that didn’t work because James had asked and you’d shot him down, and James was on the hockey team with Carter so obviously Carter had found out.

When he confronted you with that, you just shrugged. 

“Just not into it, Cart.” 

Because they’re not you. I would say yes if it was you. But those are words only meant for your own ears, words your heart utters into the silent void because there’s no way your brain would even let you say them out loud, not when it could ruin the best friendship you have. 

“You know,” Carter says now, “maybe we see a shooting star. Then you could still make your birthday wish.” 

You raise an eyebrow at him. “What are you on about?” 

He laughs, lightly. “I saw you when you blew out your candles, on the cake, earlier. You were super quick with it, there’s no way you made a wish.” 

It earns him an eye roll, from you. 

“Maybe I didn’t wanna make a wish. Maybe there’s nothing I wish for.” 

“Everyone has something they wish for,” says Carter wisely. He bumps your shoulder and then frowns, suddenly. “Fuck, Y/N, you’re freezing.” 

You put your hands on your own arms, wrap your arms around yourself, to feel that indeed your skin is cold and there’s goosebumps on your arms. Before you can comment on it, Carter has taken off his hoodie and is tugging it - not so carefully - over your head.

“Auw,” you whine, “you’re pulling my hair.” 

He immediately stops, then very slowly pulls the fabric down the rest of the way. It’s worse, that way, makes it feel more intimidate than it is. 

“Well,” you say finally, “there’s no shooting stars, so I guess no wish for me, this year.” 

Carter sighs, sounding defeated, then glances at his watch and his whole face lights up. 

“It’s 11:10! You can make a wish at 11:11!”

You can’t help but giggle at his excitement. “Cart, that doesn’t even have anything to do with my birthday.” 

“No,” says Carter, talking slow, as if he’s explaining something to a toddler. “They’re more special. Everyone gets a birthday wish, because everyone has a birthday. Not everyone catches the 11:11, though. That’s the universe telling you it’s your turn for a little bit of luck.” 

It’s dumb, and you don’t believe it, but he says it so adorably convinced, that when he motions at his watch that it’s time, you close your eyes and make a wish.

It’s fine if the wish will never come true. As long as it makes the tall, slender boy next to you happy, the way he does you. 

---

Carter’s first year as a Flyer is stressful.

You get to watch it from up close cause you followed him to Philly; there was never really an option not to. You know, after years of searching for something else, someone else that makes you feel the way he does, that it’s a lost cause.

It’s him, for you. It’s always been him. 

You’re driving to his apartment, the night of what you knew has been a hard game. They lost, again. You know Carter will - wrongfully - blame himself, again. You know you’re gonna do whatever it takes to pick up the pieces, again, and probably fail, again. 

Maybe Carter’s stupid goalie superstition has rubbed off on you, but when you drive through a tunnel, you hold your breath until the end of it.

Let him be okay.

His front door creaks as you open it; he gave you a key as soon as he moved in, and you’ve been using it ever since. You don’t even think you know what his doorbell sounds like.

“Carter?” you call out. You know he’s not asleep; he never sleeps well, after losses. It takes him ages, tossing and turning in his sheets until he just gives up and sits on the balcony, staring at the stars.

He says it calms him down.

You’re pretty sure you know where to find him.

“Cart?” you mutter, opening the balcony door carefully, and indeed, there’s a human figure slumped over the railing, head down, hands tucked into the sleeves of his hoodie. At your voice, he looks up, and you’re struck with how tired he looks. 

Dark circles surround his bright eyes, which seem to light up the dark night as much as the city lights below you.

You go stand next to him, close enough for your shoulders to touch; warmth is still radiating off him, his cheeks are flushed. 

“I don’t get what you’re looking at, here,” you tell him, giving him time to decide whether or not he wants to talk about the game. You know he doesn’t do well when you push him. “You can’t even see the stars. The city lights are way too bright.” You crinkle your nose in disgust. “The stars were so much more beautiful back home.” 

“Do you miss home?” Carter asks.

You shrug. “Sometimes. Some things. You?” 

“I miss my family.” Carter pauses. “Not home, so much. I thought I would, but, the one part I thought I’d miss the most...” Another pause, then a tentative smile. “Well, she followed me here.” 

Your heart flutters at that and you have to remind yourself that he’s just in a mushy mood, probably trying to hide his emotions about the game. 

But you still wanna let him know you appreciate it, and you feel the same, so you lean closer, letting your head drop to his shoulder. Right away, his head is resting on top of yours.

“Can you wish on city lights?” you ask, just to fill the quiet night, and he chuckles.

“Probably not, but I don’t think I’ll need the stars to wish on. I make wishes when I hold my breath in tunnels, when I throw pennies in wells, when I blow out candles...” 

“There’s no wells around here,” you interrupt, and you feel Carter’s shoulders shake with muted laughter. It’s so much better than the sad expression he wore when you got here, and you feel the brick that’s settled in the pit of your stomach since you saw the score, slightly dissipate. 

“I think it’s probably around 11,” says Carter, then. “If we catch it, we can make another wish.” 

You know what you would wish for; the same thing you’ve been wishing for for 8 years. You also know you might as well be wishing for the sky to turn purple, so you’re not really too worried about catching 11:11.

“What do you wish for, anyway?” you ask him. He turns slightly, so he’s facing you now, and incredulous look on his face.

“You really don’t know?” he says. “It’s the same thing, every time.” 

“How would I know?” you huff. “You’ve never told me.” 

“Guess.” 

You don’t see the fun in this game but you’d do anything to see him smile, anything to keep his mind off the game, so you humor him.

“Stanley Cup.” 

“No.” 

“Vezina?” 

“Nope.” 

“World peace.” Carter seems like that guy.

“No, but I would, if I thought it was possible.” 

“A puppy.” 

He laughs. “No, but I should.” 

“I don’t know, Cart,” you tell him, smiling now. You expect him to say something silly, but a serious expression crosses his face, and then his hands come down and grab hold of your hips. He takes a step closer and your breath hitches in your throat.

“What...” are you doing, you start, but he interrupts you.

“When I wish on 11:11, I’m wishing for you.” 

His lips touch yours before you’ve processed the words, but as soon as you realize what’s happening, you hook your arms behind his neck, push up on your tiptoes to kiss him deeper. 

You try to put everything you have into that kiss; try to tell him, wordlessly, that you wanna grow old together, wanna be his person, want him to stay with you even when you’re scared, that you think he’s beautiful and magical and everything you could ever wish for. 

That every time you wish on shooting stars and ticking clocks, you’re wishing for him too.

“I think we might’ve missed 11:11,” is the first thing you say when you finally pull apart, breathing a little heavily, Carter’s cheeks tinted a little pink.

He breathes out a chuckle, rests his forehead against yours.

“That’s okay,” he says. 

“I’ve got all I’d wish for right here.” 

[whorehour]

Wishlist

SIDE NOTE: This was requested but while writing it i accidenly lost the ask beacuse im really dumb:( anyways i hope u like it maureen and im really sorry:((

sypnosis: a one-shot in which yeonjun struggles with buying the reader the perfect birthday present and in the midst of reliving some old memories, they create new ones.  2K WORDS

TW// mild use of vulgur language // very soft fluff

it was 2am when u heard something tick against your bedroom window. you tried to ignore but, it just kept getting louder. as you drew open the curtains you were met with the face of your beloved best friend, choi yeonjun.

"morning sleeping beauty" "its 2am" "the early bird catches the worm" he remarked as he climbed into your room and jumped onto your bed. you want to be mad at him from disturbing your precious sleep but, the truth is that this wasn't something new. it was quite normal for yeonjun to show up at your place at the strangest of times without any warning but that doesnt mean you weren't confused. 

"what's all this about yeonjun" you weren't exactly pleased with this spontaneous visit you valued your sleep and yeonjun knew that. "whats this?" you asked as he shoves a crumbled up piece of paper in you face. "this my dear is your wishlist from when you were 8" "how did you get that?" "we made them together on your 8th birthday, here look you wrote that these are the things you want to acomolish in ten years" the memories of your 8th birthday came flooding back. your mum had invited your friends over for a party and after everyone had left you and yeonjun stayed outside in your backyard colouring. then, yeonjun suggest you make a wishlist list of all the things you wanted to accomplish together before your 18th birthday

"i cant believe you still have this" "of course i still have it, i keep everything that's precious to me." "so you snuk into my room at 2am just to show me this?" "yep!" he smiled clearly very proud of himself. he leaned his head against your beds headboard, his eyes sparkling brighter than any star in the sky. you had to admit that your best friend was indeed beautiful which is why you can't understand why he hasn't gotten a girlfriend yet. not that it bothered you, in fact it would’ve bothered you even more if he did. you've always had a little crush on yeonjun but you never even dared to reveal your true feelings for the sake of the friendship. 

"hello? earth to y/n?" "oh sorry... thank you i love it, really" yeonjun mirrored your smile and with a playful glint in his eyes, he stood up and went back to the window and looked at you as if he was expecting you to follow him.

"what are you doing?" "read number 6" "mc donalds at 2am? really?? now??" "its 2am isn't it? hurry up birthday girl, im hungry" you blinked twice in confusion trying to process all that was happening. you ignorantly thought that the wishlist was the gift paying no attention to its contents, but of course there was always something more when it had to do with yeonjun. 

"are you sure this is legal?" "probably not...hey, dont give me that look this was your idea" you and yeonjun were currently at an abandoned apartment building ready to check number 9 off the wishlist, having a picnic on the roof of an abandoned building under the stars. you had to admit, this birthday present was becoming quite scary, but the thought of getting caught doing something this stupid with your best friend was more than exciting. you finally reached the top floor and opened the door which lead to the roof. the apartment building its self was about 12 stories high so, you were quite high up.

"the views so pretty" "yeah... beautiful" you didn't notice how yeonjun was looking at you with so much love in his eyes. to him you were the most beautiful and precious thing and seeing the way your eyes twinkled with happiness made his heart skip a beat. if it weren't for your impatient whines to set everything up and start eating, he would've told you how he felt right then and there, but everything happens for a reason. 

an hour later and you were both laying under the stars talking and laughing and sometimes not saying a word, the silence was never awkward between you two, in fact you found so much comfort in each others company that sometimes no words were needed.

"did you feel that?" "feel what?" "its raining" "what!? hurry grab the stuff lets-" you were starting to stand up when yoenjun pulled you back down. he reached inside his jean pockets and pulled out the whish list. "number 2" he said nonchalantly. number two was special to both of you. it was something you always wanted to do but never had the chance because your parents would scold you, over time you had forgotten about it...until now. yeonjun stood up and extended his hands to help you get up. he pulled you in close and started swaying from side to side.

"there's no music" you mumbled and right on que, he started humming your favourite song. it was a magical moment, just like you had dreamed about when you were eight. it felt like a movie scene and you didnt want it to end. yeonjun held you close as you rested your head against his chest and whispered and it was at that moment you both realised how deeply in love you were with each other.

"you know, when i was eight years old i considered myself a great artist. however, today...not so much” "come y/n its the last thing on the list we have to do it" "alright fine, open the paint bucket" number 10 was very... ambitious. you wanted to paint a disney castle on one of your bedroom walls. sure the idea was cute, but it would've been cuter if it was done by a professional and not by two teenagers who can barely draw stick figures. but alas, yeonjun insisted to stick to the list and so, here you both where, ready to (ruin) paint over your white bedroom wall. 

"ready y/n?" "nope" "good"

"THATS SO NOT A CASTLE" "WHAT DO MEAN ITS PERFECT" "lets just paint over it yeonjun"  "no. we're leaving it as it is. its got character. you clearly dont understand art." "oh really? do you understand this" as the last word rolled off of your tongue, you painted a nice blue line across yeonjuns arm. he laughed for a second, then got serious and started running after you with a paint brush drenched in white paint. your bedroom filled with laughter and screams as yeonjun picked you up and pinned against the wall. he was so dangerously close to your face that you could feel his breath fan over your lips. you didn't move nor did you want to. yeonjun however, inching closer and closer until you could feel his soft pink lips on yours. the kiss was soft and short after two seconds he pulled back with wide eyes an apology already prepared, but you didnt give him any time to say a word, instead you wrapped your arms around his neck tightly and drew him into a deeper kiss. yeonjun finally relaxed and melted in your embraced as he kissed you back with so much love and passion. his hands snaked around your waist and pulled you closer if that was even possible. you could feel his tongue poke against your lips asking for permission and you willingly let him in. as your tongues battled for danced around in each other’s mouths, yeonjun wrapped his hands around your thighs and lifted you up. you wrapped your legs around his waist as he walked towards the bed where he laid you down softly. 

"you sure this is ok?" he whispered above you.

"more than ok...please, dont stop again" that was enough for yeonjun to strip off his shirt and go back to kissing you. his lips travelled down towards your jaw and down to your neck. he started to kiss all over your neck.until he found your sweet spot. the sound of your breathless moans cause yeonjuns pants to tighten as he littered hickies all over your neck. he pulled back to admire his work and his eyes travelled upwards to find a bright smile on his face. yeonjun felt his heart flutter as the sight and leaned in again to place a chaste kiss on your lips before pulling your top over your head. 

"you're so beautiful" he whispered as his littered kisses all over your chest and stomach. his kisses kept getting lower and lower untill he reached the waistband of your sweats. "may i?" he asked to which you eagerly nodded. he removed your sweatpants dangerously slow which cause you to whine in impatience, earning a breathless laugh from the man above you. you were getting impatient by how slow things were moving so you flipped yeonjun over and sat on his lap. his reaction was priceless, eyes wide and mouth opened ever so slightly he looked like a deer in headlights. he watched eagerly as you reached behind your back to remove your bra and tossed it wherever. 

the sight in fornt of yeonjun was enough for him to buck his hips upwards. his hands travelled towards your chest as you bent down to kiss him again while grinding on him. yeonjun couldn't help but moan, he flipped you over again and stripped himself of his pants and boxers. "like what you see?" yeonjun laughed at your wandering eyes. you didnt respond instead pulled him into another deep kiss but this time it was sloppier. yeonjuns hands slid down and removed your underwear, his lips never leaving yours. you could feel him lining himself into your entrance and gripped his arms which caused yeonjun to pull away from the kiss.  “dont worry, i got you... i wont hurt you i promise” you trusted yeonjun with your life and you couldn't feel safer with him, but you were still nervous. he pushed inside of you and you winced and the streched. yeonjun didn't move a muscle he was so scared of hurting that he waited for your command before he started moving his hips. he kissed your lips to distract you from the pain

"i love you" he whispered "i love you too"yeonjun buried his head into your neck and soon, the pain turned into pleasure and you started moaning in yeonjuns ears."f-faster" you moaned out. yeonjun didnt hesitate to buck his hips forward at a faster rate. he sat up and lifted your legs over his shoulders and moaned at the feeling of your warm walls wrapped tightly around his length. the view of yeonjun moaning and bitimg his lips as his hear stuck to hia forehead due to the sweat, had you moaning and cleanching around him

"fuck- stop that or ill- fuck" he continued to pound into you not caring how loud the two of you were being. yeonjun looked at you and could tell by the way your face was twisting and how you were tightening around him that you were close."come with me baby" his growled in your ear. his voice alone was enough to send you over the edge as you came on his dick. the feeling of your walls pulsing around him caused him to pull out and come on your stomach. the view of yeonjun moaning as he came on you was breathtaking. daringly, you scooped up his cum from your stomach and placed your digits in your mouth, sucking every finger while keeping eye contact with yeonjun. yeonjun moaned at the sight and scooped up the remaining cum and shoved his fingers into your mouth and watched in awe as you sucked his fingers clean. after he pulled his fingers out he leaned in and kissed you once again, tasting himself on your tongue. 

he pulled himself back and laid beside you as you both started up at the ceiling, trying to process all that just happened. "well, that wasn't on the list" you laughed and yeonjun joined in as he pulled you closer. you rested your head against his chest and wrapped your arms around his figure after pulling the covers over both of you. yeonjun kissed the top of your head lovingly and whispered "i love you" “i love you too...we still need to paint over that castle by the way." "ssshhh dont ruin the moment"

[watchtheblog]

petty cache

thank you for coming to read my diary which masquerades as a blog but is actually just a vessel for disseminating my birthday wishlists. it’s like an event you show up to where the host tries to sell you a timeshare 25 minutes after some requisite, mindless song and dance.

welcome! if you’d like purchase a timeshare, scroll to the bottom. for the song and dance, look no further:

the other day i zoned out on zoom therapy and when my therapist asked where i “went” i had to lie because i had gone to the part of my brain that holds all the things i need to think about forever for no reason (i call it the petty cache — this is an umbrella term for the space that also houses my attitude cabinet) and dusted off a memory of a comment i saw on a stranger’s facebook three weeks ago that said “message me. i lost my password and i have good news to share”.

i don’t know either person, and that’s what i was thinking about. i spend $[redacted] a month on therapy and instead of focusing on one of my numerous unsolved mysteries, i was thinking about the nuances of this comment - like why they wouldn’t just share the news or message the person directly? or what losing their password had to do with anything? or why they would comment on facebook instead of texting or calling the person. did they not have their number? imagine not knowing someone well enough to have their phone number, but still wanting to share your good news with them!

all i want (for my birthday) is to know what the news is that this stranger has to share, and i’ll never know so i have to put that comment in my minutiae repository with all the other things that will plague me until i die from texting and driving, smoke inhalation as a result of purposely leaving a candle lit in my home overnight almost every night, consuming half a dozen hot dogs a week, or a now unnamed disease that will posthumously be attributed to my chronic inability to mind my own business.

i’m constantly concerning myself with things that are none of my concern - no matter how insignificant - because my brain is a commune of sentient pepperoni running instagram polls among themselves to discern if something is worth spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about. and guess what? it turns out absolutely everything that has ever offended, confused, bothered, intrigued, slightly inconvenienced, or merely happened to me is worth spending an inordinate amount of time thinking about.

because i devote so much energy to nonsense, i can often be found persecuting strangers for insulting me on the internet (and for other miscellaneous bad behavior). the information superhighway is my home so i have to protect myself (and my friends) here, and if that means spending 45 minutes to 48 hours trying to find every misstep you’ve made in your life until i have enough ammunition to spray a dozen simulated retaliatory bullets at your virtual head because you called me a “stupid bitch” on instagram, well… so be it!

i am relentless in my pursuit of wasting time, so if that doesn’t work, i will find the cold stone creamery you frequent, seek employment there, be hired on the spot, learn the craft, be promoted to manager, poison you on your birthday, gain access to your funeral, and tarnish your reputation by reading your shitty DM in front of the few family and friends whom i haven’t already made aware of the abhorrent way you conducted yourself online!

there are so many different ways strangers will try to hurt your feelings — an interesting genre of which come from men who (like me) have definitely never had sex before, and mistakenly think i care about the ways in which my body does not make them horny.

“no tits” one will say. and i’m like, how do you want me to respond to that? my boobs are indeed small, yes. did you come here to shoot facts back and forth all day? ok: you’re going to start balding way sooner than you’re prepared for, i bet your childhood dog is dead, your time on the internet should be supervised, your closet is full of vests, and you wait on line at nightclubs… good day?!

while i will obviously engage with anyone if they want to fight, i prefer when the unsolicited criticism is personalized, and not just thoughtless, lazily devised tripe.

a year and a half ago, a man who looked like he exhales smog DMed me to let me know - among other things in a paragraph long rant - he’d “lost brain cells” watching my story. knowing he had likely never had an adequate amount to begin with, it seemed like an emergency, so i started a group DM with his wife. because his message had come just three days after a “fuckkk [heart eye emoji]” response to a photo of my ass, i included a screenshot as evidence of his devolving mental state.

being - presumably - gainfully employed, neither of them responded.

luckily, the consolation prize for insulting me is that you gain residency in my brain and stay in my thoughts and prayers for all eternity, so i checked in on them a few days ago. they’d unfollowed and wiped their feeds clean of each other!!

because i’ve never “moved on” in my entire life, i fired up our long dormant group chat, and sent my condolences: “aw. sorry your trip to positano - where you were going to attempt to repair your ramshackle marriage - got cancelled because of covid and so you just got divorced instead :(” i wrote before being blocked by both of them. 

then i headed right over to my therapist’s facebook and commented “message me. i lost my password and i have good news to share”

i spent an entire therapy session detailing this monomania before my therapist thoughtfully suggested i “pick [my] battles”.

to which i thoughtfully responded: yeah, babe. i pick every single one.

                                                        ***

timeshare time! it’s the same list as this post, with a few additions (at top) (and edits based on availability).

places to donate food education fund pretty brown girl the okra project

some furniture stuff a side table  a pointless, laughably tiny little thing this website is calling a “drink table” a lamp one of these benches i do not want this but it’s important to me that at least 2 other people know it exists

this plant that obviously does not need to cost $165 but idk how to shop economically

air pods

gifts from the previous post - all still v much in play!

a pair of shoes (size 8 or 38) one pair, another pair, yet another, these are on sale, these are not, and a final pair

a specific clutch with three color choices they allege this color is called sand but it looks white to me, pink, green for those who do not know what malachite means (it couldn’t be me. i learned it 3 hours ago when i began compiling this cursed list)

something everyone with money to waste needs this

dresses i’ll never be able to wear until there’s a vaccine because unlike someone tacky who knows me, i won’t be having a birthday party in the middle of a global pandemic (hi, you fool) white polka dot, not white polka dot, also not polka dot, a red dress, a skirt (aka half a dress), a black dress

this sweatsuit xs in this, small in this

is sephora cancelled? i want this hair dryer which i’m sure you can buy elsewhere if sephora is cancelled, which it v well may be

this item which you may think is cheap but actually it’s not soooo a hairpin

earrings one pair, another pair, and another

this dress which i’ll never wear anywhere even when there is a vaccine because… what?! but maybe. you never know. size 34. lol when i get this far into the list i’m always blown away by how insane it is that i do this every year to no audience. so i’m just laughing alone at that. :) i am v funny to myself. another dress i’ll never wear ;)

the nicest weighted blanket you know of i’m depressed!!!!! if you can’t tell!!!!!!!

every year i have asked for a weekend bag and every year i have not received one, so alas, we try again this is not a weekend bag actually but it will do. this is!

a peloton but just venmo me the cash (@merce212) because i have a hookup

an assortment of ridiculous things a $500 body scarf a $580 beach towel with an octopus on it for no reason besides “art” i cannot tell analog time but it’s never too late to start!! how mad would you be if someone bought you a roulette table for your wrist? be honest. (THIS WATCH IS FOUR YEARS RENT!!!!!!) they won’t say how much this costs :( i’m losing my mind and must be gifted a chanel watch or else i will perish. to put my salami on when i am eating salami in my bed “24k gold crocodile [?!!) teddy bear”. the website says there’s only one left, which begs the question “why did someone buy one of these rather than buying me a chanel watch?!!” *real ‘billionaires shouldn’t exist [unless they’re buying me a watch]’ energy* to put my new watch in this is ugly but it’s on sale :) idk wtf “secret box pendant” means but i wish this necklace was also a USB with every season and spinoff of 90 day fiancé on it hi yes i’m stupid but i draw the line at $1500 connect four…

[crimefightingspiderguy]

it’s my party, i’ll cry if i want to

Summary: “Well I would like to request a birthday with the Avengers and with my bday being Jan 11, it is just in time! Would you be able to also add Tony throwing a huge party, also, the reader is dating him!!!❤️” (REQUESTED BY @beckastark )

Warnings: some swearing

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader

Word count: 2,844

A/N: This is my first writing for Tony, so hopefully this doesn’t suck. Also, I know I didn’t follow the request exactly, but I hope it’s still good for you! Happy birthday, sweetie, hope you had a good one!

     You wake up with the sun shining brightly through the crack between the curtains. Scrunching your face, trying to get it out of your eyes so you could maybe go back to bed, but when that didn’t work you sighed and rolled over. Opening your eyes, expecting to see your boyfriend, but he was nowhere in sight. You sat up to look around the room for him, but he’s not there. Stretching you make your way out to the hallway and go on a hunt for some breakfast and your boyfriend. “Good morning “(Y/N)” Clint said from the stove where he was cooking something that smelt absolutely amazing. “‘Morning Clint, what’cha making?” You hum, hoping you might persuade him to make you some of whatever it was. “Bacon, eggs, and hash-browns.” Clint smiled your way. “You know Clint… It just so happens to be my birthday today. I never made a gift wishlist but if I did, some of that food would definitely be on it.” You smirk at him, hoping it worked. He chuckled at your not-so-subtle hint that you wanted in on the food, “I actually did know it was your birthday, and that’s why I’m making this food.”. Your face lit up, making him laugh again. “Oh Clint, you’re such a doll!” You say as you walk around the island counter to hug him. He quickly hugs you, then hands you a plate of food. “Oh, also, do you happen to know where Tony is? He wasn’t in the room this morning when I woke up.” You ask, taking a seat, digging into your food. He just shrugged and continued to cook. “You do know, but you’re not supposed to tell me.”  You accuse him, reading his mind. “Get out of my head (Y/N), we have a deal.” Clint turns around giving you a stern look. After his mind-control incident with Loki, Clint made you swear to never use your mind-reading powers on him. You innocently raise your hands, “I didn’t even have to. I know Tony, and I took your silence and shrug as an “I know but I need to pretend like I don’t”. If I had read your mind, I would already know what he was up to.”. Clint gives you a suspicious look, not quite sure if he should believe you. “I wouldn’t break our agreement man. I like my body the way it is, free of arrows.”, He chuckles and turns back to the food, trusting you. “I’ll just let Tony do what Tony does I guess.” You shrug, letting it go.

     After your breakfast with Clint, you made your way back to your bedroom so you could change into some workout clothes. You were stopped by Bucky, standing in your doorway. “Ahh, (Y/N), just the girl I was looking for!” He smiled when you arrived to him. You crossed your arms and smirked at him, “Oh is that so Buck? I couldn’t tell you were looking for me. It’s not like you’re blocking my room.”. Bucky rolled his eyes at your sass, “Listen doll, you can’t go in there. Tony’s orders.”. “Oh so now you and Tony are best friends and you just do whatever he wants.” You asked, giving him some more sass. “No, but he promised me he would stop putting random magnets in things so I’d stick to them. So here we are.” He shrugged. You laughed, “Well if I’m not allowed in my room, how am I going to change into something that isn’t my p.j.s?”. Bucky’s face fell, Stark hadn’t thought about that. “You can wear something of mine.” Bucky offered. “No offense Buck but I do believe that I would literally drown in your clothing. You’re quite large.” You say poking his bicep. He laughed, “None taken… I’m sure you can borrow something from Nat or Wanda.” “What if I don’t wanna borrow their underwear?” You point out. Bucky aggressively sighs and grabs your arm, pulling you to his room. He locked the door and walked over to his clothes picking out some things that shouldn’t be too big on you. “You know I could just… unlock the door right?” You say pointing at the door. “Ha, Ha, very funny. Yes, I know that. I don’t want anyone walking in here seeing you changing and assuming the worst.” Bucky said, throwing the clothes at you. “You’re going to stay in here?” You asked. He rolled his eyes, turning around and putting his hands over his eyes. You laugh at how dramatic he was being. You change into the sweats, pulling the drawstring to make them fit you. He gave you a t-shirt that he no longer wore because it was now two sizes too small for him, but it was from before his transformation, so he kept it around for sentimental reasons. “Buck, I can’t wear this shirt. It’s one of the only things you have from… What if I ruin it?”. He shook his head, “Nonsense, I trust you to wear a shirt for a couple of hours and give it back to me.”. You throw it on and surprisingly it fits you pretty well, “You can look now.”. He turns around and smiles at the shirt. “Fit’s you well. So, I’m in charge of you for the day. What do you wanna do birthday girl?”. “First, I wanna know why Tony chose you to keep me occupied? Does he think that I couldn’t get past you?” You chuckle, knowing you could take Bucky in a fight easily. “Oh, he KNOWS you couldn’t get past me.” Bucky challenged. “Wanna bet Barnes?” You raise your eyebrow, knowing that you were going to win this. “Bring it on (Y/L/N)”, He said, not backing down from an honest challenge. “Let’s go to the ring, and see just how easily I could get past you.” You offer, “Unless you’re too scared I’ll actually beat you.” You egg him on. He just scoffed, opening the door for you, “You’re on.”

     You got to the gym and was greeted by Sam and Steve who were spotting each other on the bench press. “Happy birthday (Y/N)!” They say almost in unison, making you laugh. “Thanks, guys. Hey, who do you think would win in a fight, me or Barnes?” You ask, walking over to them. “You, for sure,” Sam says almost immediately, making you stick your tongue out at Bucky. “I don’t know man, Bucky’s pretty strong.” Steve countered. “(Y/N) can literally read minds, I think she could easily take him.” Sam defended you. “Well, we’re gonna go to the ring if you guys wanna watch.” You shrug, making sure to push Bucky a little when you turned to make your way to the ring. “You guys can’t be serious? It’s your birthday (Y/N). What if you get hurt? Not to mention, Bucky, Tony would kill you.” Steve tried being the voice of reason, but there was no stopping you once your mind was set. You bend under the rope to get in, Bucky following you. “Look, we’ll make some rules so Tony doesn’t even know. No face, no bone breaking. Anything else?” You ask Bucky. “No groin, please.” He gives you a desperate look. You nod, “No groin. Now, what do we want to wager?”. Bucky thought for a moment, “If I win… You have to… say “The strongest Avenger” after anyone says my name for a month.” You rolled your eyes, “Fine, if that’ll stroke your ego. But, If I win… You have to…” You thought for a moment, then a wicked thought crossed your mind. “You have to run through the entire complex 5 times.” Bucky’s scoff cut you off, “Easy.” You wagged your finger, “I’m not finished. You have to run through the entire complex 5 times, completely nude. And it CAN’T be on a day when everyone is gone on a mission.” You challenge, making Bucky stiffen. “Do we have a deal?” You stick out your hand, Bucky hesitated, but slowly he extended his hand to meet yours. “Deal”. “Then let the fun begin.” You grin a wicked grin and back up to your corner, grabbing the tape that was there so you could wrap your hands. Hiding the potential splitting of your knuckles, giving yourself away quickly to Tony. Once you were done you looked over at Sam and Steve, “One of you wanna officiate us?” “I do!” Sam excitedly jumped into the ring and got between the two of you. “Alright, I want a good clean fight. No face. No bone breaking. No groins. Now shake hands.” Sam said, stepping back and out of the cage. You laugh at how official he was trying to be. You shake Bucky’s hand, then step back to begin the fight.

     You quickly enter Bucky’s head to find out what he’s planning as he circles you like prey. Instead of finding anything useful, you find him singing “Love is an open door” from Frozen. You pause and laugh a little, knowing what he was doing. “Frozen, really?” He laughed and nodded his head. “I’m a trained assassin (Y/N), you really think I don’t know what you’re looking for in my head?” Bucky pointed out. “Fair point, but I do a little bit more than mind-read.” You say, taking the chance to put an image in his head of Tony naked, catching him completely off guard. You took this chance to run up the wall of the ring and jump onto his shoulders, flipping yourself and bringing him to the ground. You sat on his chest, pinning his arms above his head. Sam hit the ground as he counted to ten. Bucky struggled under you, trying to wiggle his way out. When Sam got closer to ten, you began to loosen your grip and Bucky took advantage of that, flipping you over so he was on top of you instead. “Well played Barnes.” You smirk as you hear Sam start his counting over. You put another image of Tony naked, tied up to the bedposts and gagged, into Bucky’s head. When his face went pale, you took your chance and flip his body over your head and stood up. You wanted to mess with him just a little. You tapped your elbow and planned on jumping down and elbowing him in the stomach like they do in WWE, but Bucky snapped out of his horror trance and rolled out of the way just in time. “Fuck” You yell in pain as your body slams to the hard ground instead of Bucky. “Stop getting in my head!” Bucky yelled. You get up and brush yourself off, grinning at him. “What? You don’t like what you see?” You say wiggling your eyebrows at him. “Obviously!” He yells, running at you in anger, but you easily dodged him, making him run into the wall. “Well, why didn’t you just say so?” You then throw an image in his head of Sam naked. “Oh good God (Y/N), how do you even…” Before he could finish his question to roundhouse kicked him in the neck, sending him to the ground. Bucky was gagging from the hit to his throat and struggled to get back up. Sam began his counting and seemed to be really enjoying whatever game you were playing with Bucky. Bucky was trying to claw his way back off the ground by pulling himself up with the rope. “Oh Buck, just give up…. I have an ENDLESS supply of images for you.” You winked at him, making him drop his grip of the rope and willingly slide to the floor. Sam got to ten and declare you the winner. Bucky got up when he could finally breathe, wagging a finger at you, “You dirty, little cheat.”. You shrugged innocently at him, it’s not my fault that once I enter someone's mind, ANYTHING I think of goes into their mind.”. Sam and Steve looked at Bucky curiously as he avoided eye contact with Sam at all costs. He angrily stormed out of the room, not even caring about his promise to Stark. “What’d you show him?” Steve asked you. “First, Tony naked. Second, Tony naked, but bound to a bed and gagged. Then, lastly, the home-run, Sam naked.” Sam’s head snapped to you at the last part, but Steve just burst out into laughter. “How do you…” You waved him off, “I walked past your room once when you were checking yourself out in the mirror or something and I happened to catch your thoughts. It honestly happens more than you’d think.” Sam became flustered, making Steve laugh even more. Suddenly, FRIDAY’s voice boomed over the sound of Steve laughing and Sam slapping him. “(Y/N), Mr. Stark would like to see you in your bedroom.” “Thank you FRIDAY,” You say, heading out of the room.

     You get to your door and softly knock before slowly opening the door. “Tony?” You question as you peak your head into the door. You gasp when you look around the room. From floor to ceiling, it was all covered in pictures of you and Tony from the past 10 years that you’ve known each other. The ground was crowded with candles and rose petals. In the middle of it all, where your bed normally was but was now gone, stood Tony in a suit and tie. You smile at him, shut the door behind you and walk over to him. You wrap your arms around his neck and he snakes his around your waist. “What is all this?” You smile at him, giving him a kiss of the lips. “Well, I knew that you probably didn’t want another party after the incident last year…” Tony started. You give him a sarcastic surprised look, “No! Really? You thought that I wouldn’t want another party after a drunk Thor almost struck me with lightning. That’s ridiculous.” He rolls his eyes, “Anyway, I had a better idea of what I should do.” Tony shrugged, pulling away from you, “And here it is.”. He got down on one knee and grabbed your hand. “(Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), you have been with me through it all. Literally, you were there when I got kidnapped, when I almost exploded in space, when I created Ultron, everything. No matter how many times I fucked up, you were always by my side encouraging me to get back up and try again. You’ve been the highlight of my day every day for the past ten years and I’d like to keep it that way. Would you make me the happiest guy in the entire world…” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box and popped it open revealing a ring that was almost as arrogant as the man holding it. “And be my wife?” He finished as he offered the ring out to you. Your face quickly broke out into a large grin, “Of course I will!” You allow him to slide the ring on and you jump onto him, falling to the ground, you on top of him. You smiled down at the man you loved so dearly, tears welling up in your eyes, and spilling over as you leaned down to kiss him. When you pulled away, Tony reached up to wipe away the tears, “Don’t cry, it’s your birthday. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I made you cry on your birthday?” Tony smirked. “It’s my birthday, I’ll cry if I want to.” You laugh. Your moment was interrupted by a knock on the door. “Go away!” Tony yelled, hoping they would listen. “(Y/N), you’re gonna wanna see this!” Steve yelled, instead of listening to Tony. Your eyes went wide, knowing what Steve was talking about when you looked into his mind. “What is it?” Tony asked. “You’re gonna wanna see this too.” You laughed, standing up and pulling him up after you. The two of you walk out of the room and are met with Steve. “What’s so important that you couldn’t wait, Steve?” Tony asked, annoyed. “That. That’s what is important.” Steve points ahead of him, where you and Tony can see a naked Bucky running wildly throughout the compound. You burst out in laughter, “What lap is he on?” you ask Steve, Tony giving you a wildly confused look. “He just started.” Steve shook his head as Bucky ran off to the stairwell to make it to the next floor. “What’s going on?” Tony asked, “I’ll explain it to you later, but for now… I believe we were in the middle of something.” You nod towards your room and Tony grins at you, pulling you back inside. “Steve, make sure he does all 5 laps, will you?” You sweetly ask. “You got it doll. Oh, and congrats.” He winks at you as you grin and close the door behind you.

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[seasonofthegeek]

Fluff Month: Soulmates

Today’s drabble was commissioned by the lovely @perditaalottachocolate-blog who is an absolute angel for requesting Nino/Felix. Thanks for the support, sweets!

This is supposed to be fluffy but it ended up being angstier than I meant. I think it ends on a hopeful note though so maybe I’m edging into fluff territory? In this AU, soulmates are assigned at birth, either by private agencies for the rich or by the government for lower income families. At the age of 21, each person is given their files and told who their soulmate is so they can begin their lives together. Soulmates in this universe aren’t actually mated souls, but rather government-sanctioned couplings for population control and a ridiculous level of meddling. 

“I’m getting it removed.” 

A pile of books dropped onto the table where Nino sat, barely missing his brand new headphones he’d been mysteriously gifted only the day before. He grabbed them quickly and scowled up at the person responsible for their almost demise when his heart leapt into his throat. Felix Agreste glared down at him, chin lifted defiantly.

“I don’t need a soulmate and I certainly don’t want a soulmate. The only reason I’m telling you is because I need you to sign these.” He thrust a packet of paper toward Nino’s face. “I’ve flagged each place you need to sign or initial. It should be simple enough for you to understand. Please don’t make a mistake. It was a headache getting a copy of the form.”

Nino looked at the papers and then back up at Felix. “What the hell are you talking about, Sir Scowls-A-Lot?”

Felix’s brow furrowed. “You’re my soulmate and I don’t want a soulmate so I need you to relinquish your claim. What do you not understand about that?”

“The part where you’re my soulmate.” Nino grimaced as if the words tasted sour. “There must be some mistake.”

“Alas, I was hopeful at first too. There’s no mistake, except on the cosmic scale. We’ve been registered since birth.”

“You’re almost two years older than me.”

“Twisted, isn’t it? Do you own a pen? These aren’t going to sign themselves.”

Nino took the packet of papers with a frown and set it on the table, pushing the stack of books closer to the edge and earning another glare from Felix. “Can you try to act like a human being for a second and explain this to me?”

Felix sighed heavily and glanced around the university courtyard before pulling the other iron chair away from the table. The legs protested loudly against the cobblestone and pink bloomed on Felix’s cheeks as he slumped down in it sullenly. “You understand that this whole soulmate fascination that our society has created is completely false and inaccurate, right?”

“You should be careful who you say that around.”

“I’m saying it to you,” Felix shot back.

Nino shrugged. “Yeah, I guess it all seems a little too...neat and tidy.”

“Except it isn’t. We still have adultery and murders of passion and unsanctioned pregnancies. All the stuff they were trying to get rid of by implementing this moronic program decades ago is still here. Probably even worse if I cared enough to go through the statistics.” Felix leaned forward and rested his forearms on the table. “Not only that, but they only call it the soulmate program to make it sound romantic. Parents are the ones who decide what kind of person to pair you with when you’re born and if they don’t decide, the government does.”

“But some soulmates fall in love,” Nino argued. “Most do.”

“Well, if you thought you were stuck with one person for the rest of your life for legal reasons and most likely had no other options, wouldn’t you try to make the best of it?”

“You aren’t.”

“Yes, that’s why I said you and not me,” Felix clarified. “I was able to get the file my father filled out when requesting my soulmate the day I was born. Would you like to know what it said?”

Nino had a feeling he very much did not want to know what it said from the angry, pained look that leaked from Felix’s eyes but he gave a stiff nod.

“A male soulmate so biological reproduction wouldn’t be possible. His first request.”

Nino paled. “Oh, I...I’m sorry. That’s...if you aren’t....you could still try to adopt or--”

“I don’t want to be a father,” he snapped. “But that’s what this all is, isn’t it? I’m gay because my father said I should be. Adrien’s straight because that’s what dear old dad chose for him so he can carry on the Agreste line with his own little brat when the times comes. Nevermind how either of us feels in the matter.”

“I can sign--”

“I’m not finished,” Felix interjected. “He also requested I be paired with someone at least a year younger from a lower income home, preferably a government-chosen male. Would you like to know why?”

“Even if I say no, are you going to tell me anyway?” Nino regretted the question as soon as the words left his lips. Felix’s mouth snapped closed and an invisible wall slid between them.

“If you’ll just sign where I’ve marked.”

“I’m sorry. Please tell me why your father is an even bigger asshole than I already thought he was.”

The hint of a small smile flickered across Felix’s lips and was just as quickly gone. “My mother was my father’s soulmate and he hated her for it. Or maybe she hated him. I’ll never really know. When she had me, he wanted to make sure I was the end of that line.” His voice was quiet as he spoke. “My mother died giving birth to me. It freed my father to move on. He met Emilie and married her immediately when her soulmate mysteriously disappeared. He chose her and he chose to have Adrien. I was just a mistake he hopes will fall off the family tree soon.”

“You aren’t a mistake. No one is a mistake.”

“Nino, I’m well aware of what people think of me. You don’t even like me. I’m not someone who needs his hand held and told he’s special. I know what I am.”

“Adrien loves you.”

“Adrien loves everyone,” he replied flippantly. “But since he is one of the few sincere people in this world, I’ll take it.” He studied Nino for a moment. “Have you never wondered who your soulmate was?”

“I’ve asked before but my parents never wanted to talk about it. I thought maybe they were embarrassed. I know they couldn’t afford one of the big agencies when I was born but most people seem so happy with who they have. I guess I just thought...”

“You thought you’d be happy too,” Felix finished.

“It sounds naive.”

“That’s because it is.”

“How did you find out about all of this anyway?”

“I turned twenty-one last week and my official records were released to me.”

“Oh. Happy Belated Birthday then.”

“I don’t celebrate my birthday,” Felix muttered. “What would be the point?”

“Why someone younger?”

“What?”

“Why did Gabriel specify someone younger than you?” Nino asked.

Felix frowned. “It’s just a theory but I think so I would be forced into finding a way to support my soulmate until he was old enough to have his files released and then I would be legally stuck.”

“Manipulative.”

“My father’s forte.”

“Does he know it’s me? You know he hates me, right?”

Another flicker of a smile touched Felix’s lips. “The thought of staying with you for that reason alone was tempting but no, I don’t believe he knows. Honestly, I’m not sure he cares.”

“You know I think Gabriel is the worst but that seems cold, even for him.”

Felix sat back in his chair. “I think...I think that perhaps to the rest of the world, my father isn’t so bad a person. He dotes on Emilie and Adrien, though his affection for Adrien has lessened over the years for his own unfathomable reasons.” He looked down at his hands. “But I’m something that reminds him that his perfect life isn’t real. It’s forced and fake and I’m the only real thing that came from him. I’m not even sure I blame him.”

“Dude, he really needs a therapist.”

 A bark of surprised laughter passed Felix’s lips. “Don’t we all.”

Nino looked down at the papers. “What happens to us if we sign this?”

“You’re still young enough to be up for reassignment. Things happen, people die. I’m sure there are people your age, men and women, who are hoping to get a new soulmate before they’re legal. I assume you would be paired off with one of them.”

“And what about you?”

“I suppose I’ll be a social pariah but that’s nothing I can’t handle. I’m not the first person to relinquish my soulmate claim, though they do make it infuriatingly difficult.”

Nino nodded thoughtfully. “I guess I never gave much thought to if my soulmate disliked me enough to legally null our pairing.”

“This isn’t about you, Lahiffe.”

“I mean, it kinda is.”

Felix huffed. “No, it’s about me.”

“Not according to these papers, it isn’t. It’s about both of us.”

“You can’t honestly think this is a good idea. You don’t like me and if you’re thinking about my family money, my father has already given me my trust and sent me on my way. It won’t last long once I pay the fee for breaking this claim and find a place to live.”

“Gabriel kicked you out?”

“For my own well-being, naturally,” Felix replied dryly. “I’m fine.”

“Where are you staying?”

“You’re not signing these today, are you?”

“It’s kind of a lot to dump on me when I was just sitting here before my next class, thinking the weirdest thing to happen this week was getting these from a secret admirer.” Nino picked up the headphones and held them aloft. “They’ve been on my wishlist forever but they’re hella expensive. I already interrogated Adrien and he swears it wasn’t him.”

Felix flushed. “They’re from me. It seemed right to at least gift you something you would enjoy before I did this.”

Nino blinked, looking back down at the headphones. “How did you know I wanted them?”

“Because I pay attention.”

“You have to order them overseas.”

“Yes.”

“But you just got your soulmate file last week. That wouldn’t have been enough time to order them and get them here.” Nino continued to talk as a theory unfolded in his mind. “You already knew I was your soulmate. You were just waiting for the paperwork to be released.”

Felix sat back in his chair stiffly. “You’re smarter than most people give you credit for.”

“I know.”

“It isn’t personal, this decision,” he said quietly. “I’ve been watching you since I found out a couple of years ago by paying off the right clerk. You’re a wonderful person and if I could--”

“If you would,” Nino interjected.

Felix scowled. “You don’t want me either so don’t pretend to be the hurt party here.”

“I didn’t know what I wanted for lunch today, Felix.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Exactly what it means. I didn’t know what I wanted for lunch when I went into the cafeteria but then I saw my options and I’m happy with what I had.” 

“So I’m a cafeteria option.”

Nino sat on the edge of his seat, leaning forward slightly. “Where are you staying?”

All the fight seemed to leak out of Felix and he deflated, sagging in the chair. “A hostel five stops away. I’ve been lucky enough to have my own room and moving furniture in front of the door at night has deterred hopeful looters.”

“Do you have anything there?”

“Do I look like a fool? Most of my things are in a storage building. I slept there the first night but the manager made me leave.”

Nino stood. “Come on then.”

“What?”

“Take me to your storage unit. We’ll get anything you need immediately and move it into my studio.”

“That tiny place above your family’s restaurant?”

“Are you really going to be a picky homeless guy, Felix?” Nino shot back, amusement twinkling in his eyes. “I moved in last year after I got it cleaned out and half of it is still storage and yeah, it’s cramped, but there’s space for you if you want it.”

“Just sign the papers, Nino. Please.”

“No. Give me a year.”

“Why? So I’ll fall in love with you? Surely you aren’t so idiotic.”

“I have a year and a few months until I’m twenty-one, right? Let’s take a year and see if we can figure things out. We both know it’ll be easier if we don’t rock the boat.”

“And if you realize two days in that you can’t stand me?” Felix challenged.

“Then in a year, I’ll sign your papers and still have time to be reassigned.”

“Do you even like men?”

“I like everyone. I don’t think gender has much to do with anything.”

Felix scowled. “You’re impossible.”

“And you’re like an angry kitten, lots of hissing but no real danger.”

“This is not a good start,” Felix growled.

Nino held up his hands. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Now, really, let’s go get your stuff.” For a tense moment, he thought perhaps Felix wouldn’t obey his request and then the other man was standing and adjusting the strap of his messenger bag. 

They walked towards the bus in silence and rode to the storage unit without a word spoken. Felix was making a small pile in the middle of the room as Nino leaned against the open door when he finally spoke.

“I told Adrien it was you.”

Nino straightened and felt his cheeks warm. “Oh?”

“He’s the only other person who knows and I swore him to secrecy.” Felix paused in placing a picture frame of him and his brother in a box. “He said he was really happy for me, for us. I think he actually meant it.”

“Adrien usually means what he says,” Nino agreed, an unfamiliar nervous sensation beginning in his gut. 

Felix half-turned towards Nino and hesitantly met his eyes. “Do you really think we can make this work?”

Nino thought about what his mother had once told him about meeting his father for the first time. She said she was nervous and upset and an anxious mess and then he looked at her as if for the first time someone was really seeing her and everything fell into place. Maybe some soulmates weren’t completely accidental in assignment. Maybe...

Nino took in Felix’s anxious expression and flipped it in what he hoped was a calm one on his own face. “Yeah, I really do.”

August Prompt List

Buy me a cherry coke?

[hayscodings]

teen penelope’s birthday is coming soon and she is so used to people forgetting it that she can’t help but be surprised when hermione asks her how is she going to celebrate it and if she has a wishlist!!!

Penelope slides the hair tie off her wrist and pulls her hair up into a tight bun. Tucking the strays behind her ear, she checks her reflection in the mirror one last time before shutting her locker closed and reaching down to pick up her bag. She’s about to head out of the girl’s locker room when Hermione, one of the few girls still there, calls out to her.

“Hey! Ginger Rogers!”

Penelope rolls her eyes before turning to face the perpetrator of her eternal torment.

“Yes?” she asks, irritation evident in her tone.

“So I was thinking…the big game’s only a few days away and some of these bimbos still don’t hav the routine down. I will not have us looking like fools in front of those Baxter High skanks.”

“So what do you propose we do?”

Hermione edges closer to Penelope, hands crossed firmly across her chest, “I say we hold an emergency practice at my place this Sunday. 10:00 a.m. sharp, attendance mandatory. We’ll practice until everyone gets the routine right, however long that takes. Anyone who decides to skip out has to run six laps around the football field on Monday.”

Penelope’s face falls, “Sunday?”

“Yes, Sunday. November 1st. Do I have to spell it out for y— oh. Oh, that’s your birthday, isn’t it?”

Penelope’s looks up from her tennis shoes. Hermione remembers her birthday?

“Yeah,” she nods, “but it’s fine, I can—”

“Do you have any plans?” Hermione’s tone is softer now, less cheertator-like.

Penelope shakes her head.

“Seriously? You’re not going to celebrate your own birthday?”

“I don’t feel like doing anything this year,” Penelope lies.

“Well, do you at least want some cupcakes or something? My mom can bake us some and we can have them once practice is over.”

Penelope shifts her weight onto her left leg. Since when was Hermione nice to her?

“Thanks, but I don’t want to trouble your mom.”

Hermione rolls her eyes, “You’re the most tragic person I’ve ever met, you know that? We’re having cupcakes whether you like it or not.”

She reaches down for her monogrammed duffel bag and swings it over her shoulder.

“You have until tomorrow to tell me what flavor you want. Otherwise it’ll be my choice, and you know I always pick chocolate.”

She turns to walk out but Penelope calls after her.

“Strawberry,” she decides, “Strawberry frosting with vanilla cake. I don’t like chocolate.”

“Got it,” Hermione returns, offering her best military salute for good measure. “See you tomorrow.”

Penelope’s lips curl into a smile. She couldn’t wait till Sunday.

[juliaxnicole]

I turned 19. 

My recent birthdays have felt like just another day to me. Obviously once the birthday parties become smaller, and the presents become experiences and people rather than physical things, it feels less tangible of a reality.

I remember when I was younger, I would look forward to birthdays because it was a day where I would get a new toy, and new iPod, a new Wii (depending on whatever was cool then). I would wake up extra early to see what would be in store, and I would hope that I got something from my wishlist. Though I did still get to do that this year, it came with more as well.

My 19th birthday hit me like a bus. It wasn't the extra year added to my age, but the extra year added to my memories that affected me more than I thought it would. I was hit with a wave of thankfulness and gratitude. A wave of real contentment and happiness at where I am right now, and for the people who helped me get here.

Last year on my birthday, my biggest feeling was that of uncertainty. It was my first year of university, and there were so many new things I was being introduced to. It was the beginning of a new chapter in my life, and like many new chapters, it was unclear. I had only a surface-level knowledge of the obstacles that I was about to face.

With it being my first year of university, I was blessed to be able to stay in Lister Centre at the University of Alberta. It was a surefire way to make some friends, and it was a great environment to be in socially. It felt like kindergarten, where I could just go up to anyone and ask them to be friends. I didn't have to be scared.

But I was.

The greatest regret I have is that I didn't tell anyone. Not that I didn't have a great time living in residence - I did - but I held myself back. I had this great fear that I would walk outside of my room and try to talk to someone, but they would think that I wasn't enough. I wasn't cool enough, or kind enough, or interesting enough. I overthought my emotions so much that I let this fear stop me from being my whole self. I regret that I couldn't admit to myself that I had this anxiety, and I regret that I didn't allow myself to break down this barrier enough to tell another person about my insecurities. I regret that I didn't just take the chance sometimes to go talk to that one person who seemed really fricking cool. I regret that I let myself feel lonely.

Loneliness, I found, swallowed me. How is it that in a building of a couple thousand students, I felt so alone? Yes, I had friends, but still, it felt like I was trying to fit into a mold that was formed for another person. I was trying to become what I thought I needed to be to fit in at Lister, and my soul was slowly decaying. This caused me to close myself off even more.

My 18th birthday was still filled with love. I appreciate the people on my floor who helped make it special, the drunk strangers at Duke's Diner who sang "Happy Birthday" even though they had no idea who I was. I appreciate the friends I made on my floor who celebrated with me. I appreciate my parents who came up to visit and take me to Olive Garden. I was surrounded by random acts of kindness on my 18th, and it was still undoubtedly special. But I didn't feel real. It was a whole out of body experience, wherein it felt like I was just looking into someone else's story.

The first semester continued on like this for me. I had great friends, but I felt so disconnected. I felt so incredibly inadequate around them. I felt like I wasn't enough of anything to be their friend. I was mentally exhausted, socially exhausted, and not only was my body suffering from this - so were my grades.

It felt like grade 10 all over again for me, where I was just in a deep depression, and couldn't find the motivation to do anything. I couldn't see my purpose.

Every single day, I would eat dinner alone. I would be in my classes alone. I would be in my room alone. I was alone. I was so lonely.

Every single day, I would search for something to smile about. I would search for my purpose. Sometimes, I couldn't find one, and when that happened, I called my parents. I talked to them about anything, everything. I would ask for Ellie. I would ask about their day. This was my reason.

Mom and Dad are the reasons that I smile, they are the reasons I stayed.

Every time I spoke to them, I remembered who I was. I remembered who they raised me to be. They raised me to be kind, to be curious, to be positive, to be grateful. Even more than that, they raised me to love.

For the longest time, I hated using the word "love". It was so intimate and uncomfortable, and I felt like it was such a foreign term. The friends who I thought I loved became strangers in the blink of an eye; the relationship I had with my parents was so strained because of my struggling mental health. For the longest time, I had an internal battle with myself, and it blinded me from what love was. So I stopped telling anyone I loved them.

I couldn't see that the friends who stayed beside me showed me love every time they said hello. I couldn't see that every morning when Dad made me coffee was him showing me his love. I couldn't see that Mom staying awake and having coffee with me after her night shifts was her showing me her love. I couldn't understand anyone ever loving me, so why should I love anyone else?

The second semester came, and though my whole situation was the exact same, I was starting to change. Every single day, I would eat dinner alone. I would be in my classes alone. I would be in my room alone. I was alone. But I wasn't lonely. I had my family behind me. I had my team.

I talked to Mom and Dad every. Single. Night. I joked about how much they probably missed me, but I never told them that if it wasn't for them, I probably would be out of control. I would be so lost. If they didn't constantly remind me of who I was, I wouldn't be who I am and where I am today.

And today, on my 19th birthday, I feel content. I feel grateful, and so immensely blessed. Even more so, I didn't feel lonely. I can be alone, and it is a liberating feeling.

Now, when I sit alone, I can comfortably think of everything around me that makes my life so wonderful. Instead of thinking of what I wish I could have or could be, I am so in awe of everything that I have and everything that I was raised to be.

So today, on my 19th birthday, I reflected on my life, even though it's only starting.

I want to start this new year of my life with thankfulness and gratitude.

To my teachers at St. Mary's - you helped me shape my ideas, helped me define my strengths. Thank you.

To Nichole - you were a reason I smiled every day at school. You are so incredible. Thank you.

To Parker - you reminded me to stay curious and not be ashamed to ask questions. You are so incredible. Thank you.

To Andrew - you reminded me that it was okay to be wild. You are so incredible. Thank you.

To Rae-Lynn - you reminded me to stay positive, and not talk so badly about myself. You are so incredible. Thank you.

To Johnathan - you reminded me to see the silver lining. You are so incredible. Thank you.

To Daisy - you reminded me to be me. You are so incredible. Thank you.

To Aarika - you reminded me to have fun, always. You are so incredible. Thank you.

To Angelyna - you reminded me that it IS easy to make friends. You are so incredible. Thank you.

To Jenny - you reminded me to be positive. You are so incredible. Thank you.

To Nikita - you reminded me to stay strong. Even though you were struggling, you kept on going. You are so incredible. Thank you.

To Khadija - you reminded me that I was enough. You are so incredible. Thank you.

To everyone who became a reason for me to smile - you are so incredible. Thank you.

To my best friend, Ate -  you remind me to have patience. You remind me to have fun. You remind me to be myself. You remind me to laugh. You are so incredible. Thank you. So much.

To Mom and Dad - you are both always there for me. You reminded me of why I'm here, and why I should stay. You reminded that even though there are so many reasons that I could possibly hate myself and be insecure, there are still so many more reasons that I should love myself. There are so many reasons, and you are all of them. Thank you for helping me realize that being alone is okay, as long as I worked towards my purpose. Thank you for helping me realize what that purpose is, and thank you for always supporting me in my journey to fulfilling that. You are both so incredible. Thank you SO much.

I felt so lonely for the longest time, ignoring that there were so many people around me who were there to support me. But now I know, that even though I may be sitting alone, I will never actually be alone. On my 19th birthday, I want to thank God for the best present He could have ever given me - love. I am thankful for the love He gives me, the love that is surrounding me, and the love that I have to give. I am thankful that because of all of the love that surrounds me, I can now love myself.

18, here's to you. Thank you for all the lessons you taught me.

19, be kind to me. Thank you for the lessons I'm about to learn.

[theticklishpear]

Reading Meme

Tagged by @lizard-is-writing! Thank you so much, Lizard! I loved hearing about your adventures with books from your uncle’s store--so fascinating to think about the hands that have held those books and where they traveled.

1. Which book has been on your shelves the longest?

I still have a book about the tooth fairy and Good Night Moon from when I was really little, then Crocodile! Crocodile! Stories Told Around the World was gifted to me for Christmas in 1995 by my step-aunt, and then The Rough-Faced Girl gifted to me by my grandmother in 1998, and The Secrets of Vesuvius that I bought from a Scholastic book fair in 2001 (according to the order slip that’s still tucked in its pages).

2. What is your current read, your last read and the book you’ll read next?

Currently, I’m stalled out halfway through Tiffany Rose and Alexandra Tauber’s Hello World; last was Passenger by Alexandra Bracken; Magic Bites from Ilona Andrews is up next!

3. Which book does everyone like and you hated?

Truth be told, I dislike most classic literature. Not all of it--Crime and Punishment is one of my favorite books--but Jane Austen, Steinbeck, Fitzgerald, Ayn Rand, etc.... not my cup of tea. I can appreciate what they’ve done for literature and I can appreciate their historical context, but I am distinctly not a fan.

4. Which book do you keep telling yourself you’ll read, but you probably won’t?

I started reading The Arabian Nights as part of a quest to read the original stories that many Disney movies were based off of. I... I have theoretically been reading it since October 20, 2012, according to my Goodreads page. I have not actually read from it since 2014. Maybe someday, but let’s be real, here. Dyslexia and old styles of syntax are not my friends.

5. Which book are you saving for “retirement?”

I don’t save books I want to read for a special time, so I don’t know that I have an answer to this one, but Ken Follett’s The Pillars of the Earth duet has been on the list for a very long time. It was a favorite of my mother and grandmother, and I watched the TV series and enjoyed it, but I also know that they’re long reads, with an almost saga-like feel in that they actually follow the lifespan of a cathedral’s construction, which, by the way, lasts generations.

6. Last page: read it first or wait till the end?

Nah. I don’t need the end of the story that bad. I don’t even know these people yet! How can I appreciate the arcs and the foreshadowing and really feel the oomph of the end of a story if I’ve already peeked? Nah, I’m patient. I’ll get there.

7. Acknowledgements: waste of ink and paper or interesting aside?

Never a waste of ink. Those people deserve to be acknowledged! Publishing a book is a team effort, from the folks who read early drafts to any publishing/editing team you may have had. Always let those folks know they matter. Readers aren’t required to read them, either, you know? If you don’t care, don’t read! But from my perspective, if somebody wrote an interesting story, I want to know a little bit more about them, where they came from, and how the story developed within them. I love acknowledgements if they actually say something or tell a story.

8. Which book character would you switch places with?

Jill Pole from The Chronicles of Narnia.

9. Do you have a book that reminds you of something specific in your life (a person, a place, a time)?

I remember a summer my sister and I wound up with my paternal grandparents for a few weeks up at my family’s cabin on Lake Vermilion in the arrowhead of Minnesota. I want to say it was between sixth and seventh grade--we were in the middle of moving across the country and my parents were going ahead of us kids to find a house and dropped us with our grandparents who were already up visiting the cabin, so I guess that would have been 2002. I had the summer reading list for the new school I’d be attending when we got where we were going and literally none of them sounded interesting. I picked The Phantom Tollbooth on random, and it has since become one of my very favorite books. I must have been the pre-teen from hell that summer; I kept laughing and having my mind blown and reading sections aloud to my sister--a much more avid bookworm than me--who was also reading for her summer list. I’m sure she was very annoyed with me.

10. Name a book you acquired in some interesting way.

All of my books have either been ones I’ve bought or ones others have bought and gifted to me for birthdays or Christmases, so there aren’t really any interesting stories. My copy of Haints came from the publishers since I’d edited it; Dorrie and the Blue Witch was given to me after my cat passed away since he was named after the cat in that series.

I do have a set of all the Deltora Quest books that I believe my sister actually bought from Scholastic book fairs at school, but I kind of adhered to them more than she did. We moved every two years growing up, and on-base housing is small, so we couldn’t always have all our books out at each place we moved, so we would go through and pick out books for one small bookshelf each to have in our rooms for the two years we lived there, and then the next place we moved, we’d pick other books, kind of rotating through what we had available at any given place. Eventually, the Deltora books came to live on my shelves instead of hers, and when she moved away to college and eventually got married and didn’t come back home to live anymore, I asked her if she wanted them back. She didn’t really remember they’d been hers. So I kind of absconded with those.

11. Have you ever given away a book for a special reason to a special person?

Not my own copies, no. But I did give my cousin a new copy of The Amulet of Samarkand for Christmas one year, and on the following year a line item appeared on his wishlist: “Any book Pear recommends.”

12. Which book has been with you to the most places?

The Firebirds and Young Warriors anthologies have always been my go-tos for taking with me places. Their stories are short and satisfying so that if I don’t get all the way through the book during my trip, it’s okay. I can choose a story from them that I love to read again during the evenings and I don’t have to commit to finishing the book. Otherwise, these days, whatever’s on my Kindle comes with me for space reasons.

13. Any “required reading” you hated in high school that wasn’t so bad ten years later?

While I’m not yet 10 years our of high school, in the spirit of the question, I’ve never gone back to read any of those I hated that were required reading. There are too many other books to try and favorites to find. I do have a couple on my shelves that I did like.

14. What is the strangest item you’ve ever found in a book?

Nothing particularly strange. News clippings pertaining to the book, the Scholastic order form I just found, post cards from my dad while he’s been deployed, old bookmarks I’ve made.

15. Used or brand new?

While I love seeing used books and guessing their stories, I prefer to get myself new ones so that I can watch my own book’s story grow in its pages.

16. Stephen King: Literary genius or opiate of the masses?

I admit. I’ve never read a single Stephen King book, nor am I interested in doing so. I have no opinion except that I’m tired of seeing his name. I’m glad he’s found success. I do not appreciate that he’s labeled the end-all-be-all of writing success.

17. Have you ever seen a movie you liked better than the book?

Better than, no; as good as, yes. The Cadfael miniseries is A+; To Kill a Mockingbird is fantastic; and the two incarnations of Howl’s Moving Castle are very different beasts that are both lovely. But all of those are stories that I also enjoyed. I mean, I’m sure there are some movies of classics that would beat slogging through the reading of it all to heck.

18. Conversely, which book should NEVER have been introduced to celluloid?

The Dark is Rising, Inkheart, and The Golden Compass all deserved better. Frankly, I’m pleased The Dark is Rising movie has vanished from collective consciousness because those books are delightful and that movie was the worst adaptation I’ve ever witnessed.

19. Have you ever read a book that’s made you hungry, cookbooks being excluded from this question?

Not that I remember. Reading descriptions of food doesn’t do anything for me, not even on menus.

20. Who is the person whose book advice you’ll always take?

I never always take advice from anyone on anything, but I do take my sister’s opinion into account. My preferences are fickle and not even I can explain them well enough to always take advice from someone.

Tagging: @ancient-trees, @roselinproductions, @sapphicaquarius, & @panhasablog!

[gunnerpalace]

Thank You!

I don’t publicize my birthday on social media; it’s not up on my Facebook, or my Skype, or elsewhere, if I can help it. The reason for that is I’ve always felt that most of the birthday wishes I got were obligatory, rather than sincere. I didn’t want people to feel the need, if they didn’t want to.

And for me, for a long time, birthdays were just another day—a day when a personal number ticked over, but otherwise just another day.

This has been, without any doubt, and without any comparison, the best birthday of my 31 years on this earth.

I cannot possibly say thank you enough.

Thank you to those who wished me well, through asks or messages: @lassinajumper, @micromys, @kuchikiiichigo, @mizulily, @thefangirlinjo, @piecesofacrazyworld, @starlitsea, @lisaflowers, @ichiyuki, @alwayswandering21, @icchiruki, @thefantasylover, and @ichigough.

Thank you to someone I know has things planned, but is currently indisposed: @sequencefairy

Thank you to those who took time out of their lives to make such wonderful things for me, because the tags alone aren’t enough:

@tachipaws for her beautiful edit (IR) which introduced me to this lovely song. (why won’t this damn thing let me tag you?) I hope you’re safe and fortune treats you well, you’re too lovely, Tachi.

@hashtagartistlife for her flippin’ astoundingly good fan art (IR) for my longest running (and simply longest) fic, Demons of the Sun and Moon. Please take a look at her lovely handmade crafts! Sera, I hope we’ll have more chances to talk!

@ithmid for her absolutely gorgeous (IR) pair of pieces (Y) for some of my loves. Please check out her commissions! And please keep making more of your lovely pieces!

@kingkuchiki for her cute as heck fanfic (YIR) in an AU continuity we’re all stuck in. Tiff, thank you for having put up with my shenanigans, as much as they’ve impacted your life in the craziest ways; I can only hope I keep making you laugh!

@gabecebro for his astonishingly cute (YIR) Grounded fan art (YI). Your dedication to the community and your willingness to take requests is fantastic. Please check out his commissions!

@dangerousbride for her sultry and intimate fan art (IR). Karoll, what the heck, you’re amazing and you somehow manage to bring sin and cute to this fandom in equal measure. I only feel bad for the anons you have to put up with. Please consider her Amazon wishlist!

@ciebei for her wonderful pair of pieces (IR). Zoë you are far too kind, and your talent between your art and your writing is incredible. You’ll achieve great things in time!

@yumelinh for her incredibly frickin’ sublimely colored edit (IR). Yume your edits are crazy good, you are far too sweet, and you have such an aesthetic!

@duongvjp for his utterly fantastic, soft, and tender fan art (IR). Duong, I have always loved seeing your art and I hope that you continue making art for them for a long time to come! Thank you, friend!

@synoshian for something that is as of yet still hush-hush and that she hasn’t posted about, but that is gonna be freakin’ amazing and incredible and will blow everyone’s socks off once it’s out and running wild, and that I am way too excited for. I’m so glad to call your my partner in crime and I look forward to conspiring with you in the future. <3

And last, but by no means least. Thank you to...

@duckiesteasmiles for doing this, for organizing it, for plotting it, and for convincing or commissioning all of the above named people to dedicate their time and energy to making things for me. None of this would’ve happened, or probably been possible, without her. Nami, I can’t even begin to tell you how happy you’ve made me today, and how happy you make me every day. You’re far too good to me, my darling, and far too wonderful for me to capture in words. I love you, and I look forward to spending many more birthdays together with you. (You’re just really lucky I agreed not to do something like this for you this year...)

Thank you all again!

And if there is anyone I missed, or who hasn’t yet gotten in their present, my sincerest apologies, and I mean no offense by it.

This has been truly, truly special. Thank you all so much. I hope you all had a wonderful day too, as much as possible. Thank you.

[bwprowl]

It’s my birthday, I’m old! My own misgivings about impending mortality aside, I’ve got time to check out new versions of old robots. I’ll also round up pre-orders for a bunch of fun oddities like government-issue standees, space rabbits, and space samurai. And speaking of space, I’ve got an in-hand look at an on-hand transformation device from that new Space Sentai. Come on in and celebrate with me, it’s Tuesday Night Toys!

New Stuff: Too close to the sun

We just got a surprise new reveal from Transformers Masterpiece: Sideswipe’s brother Sunstreaker will finally be joining him in the line. TakaraTomy’s worked their now-usual engineering magic to bring this stuck-up yellow bastard to life, including such touches as a roof/windshield that *inverts* during transformation, and an accurate storage spot for his pistol. He’s even got an ‘alien’ mask from his acting attempt in ‘Hoist Goes Hollywood’, and a mini-figure of Chip Chase (the most hardcore human from the cartoon). Though it is kinda weird that we got full pics of this guy, who we just found out about, before seeing anything of the previously-announced Masterpiece Dinobot.

If even higher-end robots are your desire, then Studio Halfeye has this stupidly-nice colored-resin mold model of maybe the most famous original Super Robot Wars robot, the Cybuster. Or the ‘Cybaster’ as it’s lovingly romanized here. You’re gonna pay over $500.00 for this thing, but I know there are SRW fans that dedicated out there.

As Tamashii’s Ultraman SH Figuarts line marches on, they keep branching out into cooler and cooler stuff. I’ve long appreciated how willing they were to keep making figures of the various iconic Ultra Monsters, and now they’re getting into the secret identity game with an SHF of Dan Moroboshi, the human form of Ultra Seven. He’s rocking the classic Ultra Garrison uniform, and his release signals a strong precedent for other areas of the line. Most importantly to me, anyway, does this mean we can look forward to the human-identity Kamen Rider Figuarts, like that Takeshi Hongo we saw last year? Fingers crossed.

Wishlist: Space Tourism

I’ll make no secret of my love for currently-airing anime Sakura Quest (you can catch me basically gushing about it weekly). So seeing a decent smattering of merchandise for it going up for pre-order warms my heart. There’s not really any ‘true’ toys yet (a Nendo or two would be lovely), but those increasingly-popular acrylic standee things are getting made for the main characters in little chibi form, as well as a ‘big’ (over 8 inches tall) one of Yoshino, and they all light up! These could make decent desk-buddies until proper plastic renditions arrive.

If you need oddly-macabre robot figures littering your life, Bandai has you covered with the new ‘MS Imagination’ set of Gundam toys. These candy-packed figurines recreate the suits in various degrees of destroyed, and at least look truly unique in that respect. I kinda wonder how in-scale they’ll be with regular Gundam kits, for display purposes.

I suppose I should take a second to talk about Boss Fight Studios’ upcoming Bucky O’Hare figures. I don’t have a lot of investment in the classic comic-book space critter, but I know there’s a solid pop-culture following there, and the nearly-ready for release figures look to be a good choice for fans. And I’m always a fan of how nice Boss Fight’s stuff looks.

And if the ridiculous price tag of the above Cybuster wasn’t enough for you, then here’s one for the annals of the truly absurd: ‘Musha Ningyo’ Darth Vader. There of course have been previous Samurai Vader action figures in the Movie Realization line, but this big glorious thing is the iconic sci-fi-bad-guy fully reimagined as one of those prestigious samurai statue display pieces, and he comes with an appropriately ridiculous cost of over $1,400 bucks! Forget passing fandom, this is firmly in ‘are you a bad enough dude’ territory for how dedicated you are to something this nerdy. And it’s amazing for it.

On Desk: Kyu Kyu myan

Yup, Kyuranger is definitely a thing. The show’s still in that odd holding pattern so many Sentai Series go through in the teens, but it’s consistently entertaining and the sheer amount of characters makes it impressive how amusing they all are. I’m engaged and interested in where it’ll end up going (hopefully off Earth again soon). So along with a ton of the mini-pla mecha (most of which I still, uh, need to build) I’ve wound up with the transformation device, the Seiza Blaster.

As we all know, wrist-mounted changers are objectively the best kind, so the Seiza Blaster already had my attention, but of course seeing and hearing it in action on the show just sold me on it further. As usual though, the real deciding factor was that I ended up needing it for cosplay purposes.

It’s a slick piece of work. The details all look good, the colors are crisp and attractive. They even stuck the power switch in a really inconspicuous, out-of-the-way place this time (I actually had trouble finding it!). Attaching the Kyutama to the thing is easy; even with all the connection points and clamps that need to clip onto it, it snaps right on. The lightshow on this thing especially needs to be respected: There’s a full cycle of all the Rangers’ colors it goes through, and coded for attacks from each Kyutama (I’ve got Red, Orange, and Black to test out). The joystick moving action to get the different functions/sounds with the Kyutama is fun. Going double-back for that sweetly-spoken “Galaxy!” is probably the most satisfying; gives me flashbacks to the finishers from Kamen Rider Gaim.

Maybe it’s just me, but the sounds on this one do sound just a bit muffled compared to the very crisp audio we’ve been getting on role-play toys for a while now otherwise. It might just be the filter on it or how they say it, but these just sound a little less clear. They’re still very *cool* mind you, not a deal-breaker, but still something to keep in mind. The impressive lights more than make up for it too, I think.

What is an issue, however, is the size of the hand-grip. These toys have always been unambiguously targeted to kid-sized people, but that’s not usually been a problem beyond having to shell out for extensions for belts. On this thing though, the hard plastic grip is just a *little* too narrow for my adult hand. It still fits, barely, but it’s a tight, uncomfortable one. Oddly, the included wrist strap for the back half of the thing is rather long by Bandai’s usual standards; it fits around my arm with plenty of room to spare. But that grip has no adjustment for width at all, and as a result cramming my hand in there is kinda not-fun. It’ll be interesting to see how I handle this wearing it for my costume. I mean admittedly, I have pretty big hands, so other grown-ups might not have the same issue, but it’s still a notable problem for me, anyway.

Overall though, Bandai still clearly knows what they’re doing with these role-play toys. If you’ve watched the show and you think it looks cool, you should go ahead and get it. Just be prepared to shell out for any different Kyutama you want, especially depending on which Ranger is your favorite. And watch out for clearance on your hands.

Thanks for spending this time with me, everyone! I’ll see you later, and I hope you have lots of fun!

[sorrowsflower]

Okay, I finally got around to making this. Well, this’ll be a long one, ‘cause anyone who’s seen my posts knows I tend to ramble. I was tagged by these awesome peeps: @francesca-wayland, @equusgirl, @thestorywelovebest, and @adler-holmes

Rules: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning. When you’re finished, tag people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!

1: Are you named after someone? According to family legend, I was named after a cute little girl with blond pigtails that my Mom saw in a magazine, which is why I am a Filipina with a Russian name. My middle name is from a saint, whose birthday was supposed to coincide with mine, but I came out early (story of my life: I never do what I’m supposed to when I’m supposed to).

2: When was the last time you cried? Too personal, sorry. Moving on...

3: Do you like your handwriting? Yeah. Sometimes looks like handwriting from an old-timey journal. Some people say it should be a computer font type.

4: What is your favorite lunch meat? I never really adjusted to the American diet (’cause I’m a picky eater), so given the choice, I will always eat rice and Filipino dishes for lunch.

5: Do you have kids? No, but I do have a baby girl I loved in the orphanage I used to work in whom I still consider “mine” in a way. Even though she has forever parents now, I think of her every now and then. Also, I have a baby cousin that I am co-parenting with other cousins. It takes a village!

P.S. If I do have a son, I shall name him Nero. So, if you come across a weird kid named Nero in the future, he’s probably mine.

6: if you were another person, would you be friends with you? I honestly have no idea. I like to think I would, but given how weird I am, I probably wouldn’t.

7: Do you use sarcasm? What do you think?

8: Do you still have your tonsils? Yup. They’re probably somewhere back in there. Wait, let me look. Aaaahhh...

9: Would you bungee jump? Lol, I get dizzy just riding a roller coaster. Once, maybe. Just to experience it.

10: What is your favorite kind of cereal? I don’t really eat cereal (again, picky eater), give me a traditional breakfast of garlic-fried rice, eggs, and Filipino sausage, yum.

11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? If we’re talking sneakers, nope. I like to slip them on and off quickly.

12: So you think you’re a strong person? I think everyone is strong, in their own way. There are many kinds of strength and each are tested in different ways. So, yes.

13: What is the first thing you notice about people? Usually the eyes. Eyes can tell a lot about a person. Then facial expression.

14: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? My stomach rolls. Sometimes I feel like the Michelin tire mascot when I sit down, yeesh.

17: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? Pink shorts and bare feet. I’m in bed.

19: What are you listening to right now? Magic Man by Heart, and Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien by Edith Piaf. I love both, one is so undeniably 70′s rock and roll twisted sexy, the other is a warbly classic.

20: If you were a crayon, what color would you be? I have no idea. Maybe something in the turquoise or teal department. 

21: Favorite smell? As a kid, it was the Dama de Noche (night-blooming jasmine) from our backyard, I always stayed out late just so I could smell the flowers. Even now, my favorite scents are jasmine-based. Or citrus-based.

22: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Um... the apartment manager. Glamorous.

23: Favorite sport to watch? Do cheer squad competitions count?

24: Hair color? Jet black.

25: Eye color? Looks black from afar, but up close, dark brown with dark rings.

26: Do you wear contacts? My eyes are too sensitive and get irritated by them, so I’m stuck with my glasses until I can get LASIK or something

27: Favourite food to eat? Filipino home cooking, no question. Though Vietnamese food is a close second, and Italian, mmmm. Cajun cooking is also excellent.

28: Scary movies or comedy?

A healthy dose of each. 

29: Last movie you watched? 

A double feature of The Passengers and Underworld Blood Wars. Semira is my new baby and her wardrobe is my wishlist.

30: What color of shirt are you wearing? Pink with ‘Hollywood’ in fuschia letters. I swear, I don’t usually wear this much pink.

31: Summer or winter? I prefer summer in the winter, and winter in the summer.

32: Hugs or kisses? Both.

33: What book are you currently reading? Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides and Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami. Both are exquisite in very different ways.

34: Who do you miss right now?

My Mom.

35: what is on your mouse pad? I’m using a laptop right now.

36: what is the last tv program you watched? Murder, She Wrote with a client. Angela Lansbury is a gift.

37: What is the best sound? Off the top of my head, I love the violin, the cello, the electric guitar and the sax. Can’t think of anything else right now... Oh, wait! Benedict Cumberbatch’s voice! And Lara Pulver’s!

38: Rolling Stones or The Beatles? ... Led Zeppelin. Lol. Actually, I don’t subscribe to just one band or just one genre. I listen to whatever appeals to me: classical, rock, gospel, indie, Broadway, jazz... except country (not too big on that).

39: What is the furthest you have ever traveled? Well, I traveled from the Philippines to the States, but hopefully that’s not the extent of my travels. I have extreme wanderlust.

40: Do you have a special talent? I like to think of myself as a jack of all trades (though I’m really not, I’m just pretentious ;p).

41: Where were you born? In a cinema (lol, almost). Which would explain a lot.

Thanks for tagging me!

Okay, I’m terrible at tagging people, and I don’t know who’s been tagged already, so I’ll just tag @elinorx, @lyrangalia, @randombiochemist, @bitchlettearyamaryne and anyone else who wants to do this :D